#im reallyyyy insecure

[carbonbasedmatter]

I find myself getting jealous really easily it's not even in a hateful or vengeful way. it's just that literally EVERYONE seems more fun and interesting to be around I can't even blame people for liking and wanting to spend time with them instead of me. I hate that im the most easily replaceable one even among people I actually really like and have a lot in common with it's like there's this barrier keeping me from being vulnerable with or truly connecting with any of them. I can never tell if im doing too much or not enough

[localfanbaselurker]

I’m watching “Voltron: Legendary Defender” for the first time and these are my compiled thoughts.

This is Season 3

(S 1-2) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8)

———————————————————————

<this one will be a little longer because I took more pictures when I watched these two seasons, as I got a little more invested in the show>

(Edit: apparently I can only put 10 pictures per post, so while I planned for this to be season 3 and 4, this has to be a solo season post because I have wayyyy too many thoughts and a lot of them need accompanying pictures)

Pre-Season 3

-> I wonder who is gonna be the new black paladin, I hope it’s Allura. Or Keith I guess, but his ass is NOT ready for leadership

-> I need to know where Shiro is. Bring back my Cruella Deville!

-> the witch is altean! This is gonna be sooo important I just know it

-> I wonder how Allura and Keith will interact now that she sorta accepted him being part galra. that’s actually a really interesting topic.

->Keith being galra is gonna be something very important as well I think.

-> Pidge BETTER find her brother and father this season or I swear Dreamworks is gonna catch these hands

Post-Season 3

-> ^if villain why hot?

->his ideals are giving Roman Empire. (I guess that makes sense considering he’s the prince of the Galra Empire)

->^hmmm.🤨🤔 (I know what you are)

->^Space TyLee! And Space Asami, too!

->^oh so Keith gets to be insecure now, I guess everyone gets their own “angst” episode

->^hes the first to comfort him! is this a “klance” moment? It feels like one

->^Once again have to talk about Allura and her dad. She already threw away all her dad’s memories and his “essence” of him. Now she can’t even stay connected to him by piloting his lion ☹️. I genuinely get so sad every time I think about her. 🙁 All I do at 3 am is cry. 😕

->I originally got super sad about that, but then she became the blue one and I was really happy. But I was reallyyyy confused about the schematics of the switches. (still kinda am) like the lions don’t fit their personalities. And isn’t it the point that they get chosen for a reason?? Like when the blue one chose Lance in s1? And the red one chose Kieth, etc. ?? I guess it makes sense for them to call on other paladins when Shiro ��dies” (his ass is not dead, I’m 100% sure of that) but Allura fits Black/Red better imo.

-> But then again, I did like how it was executed/explained. “Oh Lance ur the new red one cus you accepted Keith as ur leader and now you have to be the right hand. Get it cus red is Voltron’s right arm??” like yeah. And of course:

->^Allurance!! I finally see it, now.

-> Also, my supposed question about “langst” was proven wrong, there’s more than just the “seventh wheel” episode.

“Not only am I not meant to be the leader, I guess… I guess now I’m not even meant to be a paladin”

He is really insecure about that isn’t he? Does any of this ever get resolved??

-> this season was huge for klance apparently. They have so many moments together. When they get dragged by evil elsa Lotor to that weird planet and have their lions talk face to face, the shoulder touch, them seeking each other out for/being the first to give the other comfort/reassurance, “Leave the math to Pidge” , Lance being the most upset that Keith isn’t at the parade thing, their teamwork in “Tailing a Comet”, “Yeah, who am I gonna make fun of?”

You guys just kept winning this season honestly slay.

-> The Lore drop that Coran did about the creation of Voltron/Original Paladins. Bro

->I’m still hung up on that. Honerva I could have saved you.

-> Gotta say though im all for an evil couple.

-> I loved all the S1 call backs to the original paladins “I’m a leg!” Like yeah 🩷 you are 💛 and the og blue paladin does the “lance in the intro” thing

->^When they form Voltron for the first time in the flashback, the colors are brighter, much like the original 80s show’s colors, and the captions later read “Defender of the Universe”, which was the name of the original Voltron show. This is an especially fun detail because not only are they honoring the “original paladins/voltron” of the show’s lore, they are also doing so in reference to the original show itself, which I think is all so beautiful

->Baby Allura is soooo cute!

-> We get Shiro back! I knew he wasn’t dead. Low key I was scared he lost another arm or something but no! He’s okay 🖤🤍

-> I did some research and it turns out he is in fact 25, I don’t know whether to be happier or sadder for him. On one hand, thank fuck he’s not like 15-17 like the others, on the other hand, he should be at the club. He should be finding love, he should be at his 9-5 paying taxes and doing laundry not having his arm chopped off and replaced with magic and having to fight in the space coliseum and then escaping and having to pilot a giant robot and be a part of an intergalactic war. (I suppose that last part is true for all of them, but the rest is shiro-specific, and it all makes me a little sad)

-> call me crazy but he looked hotter when his hair was long

-> on that note, WHERE did he find a razor. Did he just use a sword or something?? Like in mulan??

-> in “Tailing a Comet”, they apparently meet alternate space reality!Kuvira from atla:lok , and ASR!Bataar Jr. I mean, really, down to the bun and the mole, as well as the controlling dictatorship-esque behavior and the “really, this is actually for their own good” attitude when it comes to said controlling behavior. Did the writers of each show just share ideas or??

-> im so serious with that last question. The thing that came out of the “quintessence rift” that the original paladins had to fight? A dark spirit from LoK: Book 2: Spirits. Whatever tf happened to zarkon when he got too close? When Unalaq got possessed by Vaatu. I mean really, were they just passing cards like go fish?

->I genuinely cried when Keith left for the Blade of Marmora (to save time, I’m gonna start calling them the “Blades” or “BOM”)

-> however, I feel like him leaving for the blades is gonna be really plot relevant later on

-> I think that’s when S3 ended im pretty sure. I don’t have further thoughts other than those I could’ve discussed if I could upload enough pictures for my S4 thoughts that accompanied them.

These are thoughts I’ve had compiled for a while. I finished S3 on 06/26/24 and S4 on 06/30/24. As of today (07/3/24) I am on S5E3.

I will continue to post my thoughts/Updates on the tag “laura’s first vld”

[pshwrldd]

why dont u write that much? Like u say ur starting to write fics, u only posted 2 and like ur super active-

hai annoniee<3 ohh!! Well, yes i agree im quite active because i have amazing, kind and sweet people to talk to here! I dont really say this often but The reason why i dont write much is because sometimes when i write something i kinda overthink, thinking people wont like my works and that makes me reallyyy insecure. And another thing is that i try to write but i always dont have the ideas or too busyy😞 i cant deny i lovee writing but sometimes its hard for me to post due to my lack of ideas. I cant promise ill be writing more fics but im currently writing one and lets see if ill post it!! Im reallyyyy sorry for not posting fics that much😖 but i hope u understand<33

[onlyswan]

hi art!! I just recently came across ur acc and im curious abt some stuff like for one what are ur fave musicians to listen to ? Bc I remember the first thing I read from ur page - I forgot the name 😭 but it was when oc and jungkook kept meeting on a train while she was listening to cas and reading a book and omg since that moment I knew u were my favorite writer bc you were able to capture all my feelings and I just resonated with ur writings sm !! And I also have been using cas as my safe music for years now so seeing someone else also feels the same from years back makes me feel heard somehow !! I felt so safe and just so happy reading ur stuff like I forget about all my struggles I get excited to go to bed since my routine consists of reading ur stuff and it’s literally a daily thing now lol, and if u ever think about doing a long fic or even a novel pls do bc I am in LOVE with ur writing style you are able to capture the smallest details without dragging a story or make it boring you truly can bring stuff to life !! I used to read a lot and try and write poetry and sometimes stories too but thing got in the way and is slowly stopped but you made me remember why I love books so much and why I wish I couldve been a writer and that’s something so special !! also when did u first start stanning bts and have you ever been on the editing community lol? sorry for the rant and bombardment of questions and extreme enthusiasm but tbh I’ve realised that since I love ur fics so much I should start to get to know a bit about the writer and how you came across to writing them !! I hope u know how many peoples days you make better with these stories and ur so sweet too, keep being u !! :33

some of the other artists i listen to are txt, iu, frank ocean, beabadoobee, niki, mitski, fka twigs, omar apollo, hozier, the rose, wave to earth :D and i became an army during mots7! and i assume you meant writing community? :O but since i was like 9 i’ve been writing short stories and mainly poetry as a hobby and hid them all in the drafts. i never rlly published anything until i started this blog !

OMGSJDHDKDKF you’ve been here since gold rush!? this is so insane to me bcs i was pretty much mia in 2021 plus i was in my experimenting phase :| thank you so much for being here all these time !! 😭😭😭💗 i’m so happy we were able to connect through music <3 my favorite form of art <3

and i reallyyyy wish i can do a long fic but i have such a horrible attention span and committment issues lmao 😭 once i get annoyed or bored i immediately detach myself from something it’s a big problem </3 but thank you for your interest i can’t believe you would want to read an entire novel from me 🥹🥹🥹

I am in LOVE with ur writing style you are able to capture the smallest details without dragging a story or make it boring you truly can bring stuff to life !!

oh i’m gonna cry 🥲 i love you so much you have no idea how much i needed to hear this! i’m always insecure about being too much or too little with my writing so this is so comforting 🫂🫂🫂

and omg don’t be sorry i love this energy 🥹 !! i sometimes receive asks from ppl that seem to forget that there’s a real person running this account and that makes me feel dispirited so you’re such a breath of fresh air <3 thank you beloved for being so sweet and kind and reading my works it means the world to me 🤍🤍🤍

[jihyocentric]

my jaw? on the fucking FLOOR

DEAR GOD LUMI THAT FILL. I HAVE NO WORDS WHAT

oh but it was soooooo good!! literally went above and beyond anything i imagined when i sent the ask. i love that jihyos bad behavior was cumming all over nayeons clothes cause she was jealous over jeongyeon like it reminds me of when a dog chews up a shoe lsdkjflsk it's perfect!! and i reallyyyy liked the punishment + the make-up fucking + jiihyo wanting jeongyeon to see nayeon getting bred by her + THE MOMMY KINK.....just absolute 100/10 goodness right there

i also loved the little details, like jihyo knowing what she did was wrong so she was already kneeling when nayeon came home, and how she sniffed nayeon when she came back to make sure she was still hers, and how much nayeon still cared for jihyo like she cooked her steak just right even if she was still a little mad cause she doesnt want her puppy to go hungry :((( losers in love

and you introduced momo and sana and kitten!mina and jeongyeon!! thats fucking awesome!! i have questions if youre up to answering: are samo a couple so is mina their kitten? is jeongyeon actually trying to get with nayeon or is she just flirty like jihyo says? does jihyo actually try to become friends with jeongyeon or is she stil jealous and possessive? im just very excited abt it thats all, so feel free to answer or talk abt whatever u want!!

thanks for filling it, ur the best!!

-🐶

i'm so glad it you liked bc i really loved the request and i had to write it right away bc i won't have that much time in the next few days 🤕

doing that to nayeon's clothes was her silly way of delimiting her territory, and OF COURSE jihyo had to check nayeon's scent or else she would be actually angry if she caught any of jeongyeon's scent on her nayeon. she's a territorial puppy!!!!

so, yes, samo are a couple and mina is their kitten. the four of them (along with jeong) are nayeon's friends, but jeongyeon happens to work with nayeon and jihyo had always felt hatred towards jeongyeon because 1) jihyo is a shy puppy 2) jeongyeon is... too much around her friends, and when jihyo was still trying to adapt to nayeon and being nayeon's puppy, jeongyeon scared her (unintentionally!!!) with her extreme outgoing personality and 3) jihyo thinks jeongyeon is trying to steal nayeon from her, the fact that jeongyeon saw nayeon every day at work made it all even worse

and, well, that's not true at all. jeongyeon is just flirty and playful by nature, and jihyo is a jealous puppy. she despises jeongyeon, mostly because she's really insecure and she thinks nayeon might like someone as pretty and extroverted as jeongyeon rather than her (and the fact that jeongyeon is not a hybrid makes jihyo even more self conscious),,, her jealousy overall comes from the fear of being abandoned or replaced by someone else. unfortunately, nayeon still doesn't know that that's the reason why jihyo doesn't like jeong

i feel like yes, jihyo will try to befriend jeongyeon because she loves nayeon and that's all, even if she's insecure! nayeon deserves to see her trying

also it would be so funny if jihyo and jeongyeon ended up having a thing idk idk 🫣 if so let's make this g!p jeongyeon

and thank you again for the request, i'm so invested in this puppy hyo 🥹 and you're very perceptive of things, it's really gratifying to see your comments about the fills, i'm really glad 💕

[sortagaysortahigh]

not a kink i guess but something else that i think is odd: werewolf fics. really just the smut fics. like the reallyyyy getting into the werewolf part. when i used to read teen wolf fics and the smut would get weird i’d get so uncomfortable lmao

Me knowing i wrote an isaac smut and their eyes flash and claws come out sometimes shejeldiwhhehdid bae chill </3

But the a/b/o fics always geek me bro im aorry but the insecure omega x cocky dbag alpha dynamic is always hilurious

[angeladdict]

"lol well i dont know exactly what im doing at all either, but the first thing i can think of is that you should go to this website called lonerwolf.com . for me, the important thing about working with my heart has been realizing 2 things: the first thing is that, like with all the higher chakras, working on your heart will be much easier if you start from the root and work up, address fears/insecurities / emotions you might be ignoring etc.--your heart will start to naturally heal already just from working on the chakras below it first. The second thing is really important, especially since you mention having mental health issues (like me): You have to remember that the chakras arent the #1 solution to your problems. a while ago i made the mistake of thinking that if i healed my chakras it would make my mental illnesses go away, so when it didn't work out that way i got really discouraged and suicidal. Then i realized more recently that the chakras are important, but it's also important to do other things, like having coping skills AND doing shadow work. Shadow work is just basically finding the dark parts of you and making them a part of you. meditation and yoga are also good. Anyway i know thats a lot of stuff, I just want to make sure you hopefully don't make the same mistake I did with thinking chakras were the cure for everything. My head is kind of blurry/headache-y today honestly so I'm not sure I'm making sense! but I reallyyyy would encourage you to go to that website and start reading their articles about starting soulwork, they'll make way more sense than me right now I promise" NICE AS HELL