#im re-reading it rn and when i tell you this scene changed my life | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

misterbitches · 4 years ago

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Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas.

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL.

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers!

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die.

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more. i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done)

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom.

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through.

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao. basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman. anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord.

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop.

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t. beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are.

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid.

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc.

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me)

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex)

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

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thesunnyshow · 4 years ago

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Name: hi, i am nyx Age: 20 years old Writing Blog URL(s): jungcity.tumblr.com | v-asl.tumblr.com

Nationality: filipino Languages: english, filipino Star Sign: pisces! MBTI: infp-t Favorite color: white accentuated by silver Favorite food: it’s sweet and spicy chicken garlic!! Favorite movie: hmmm, it’s prolly flipped because that movie was so cute :,) Favorite ice cream flavor: rocky road!! Favorite animal: it’s gonna be cats!! although i love lions so much because of narnia :,( Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? coffee :,) Go-to karaoke song: i don’t sing agskh the world would end if i would

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i think it’s me writing about jaehyun??? since he’s the king of fanfiction, especially in ncity nowadays.

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct + wayv

When did you post your first piece? three days ago!! that would be august 4 i guess???

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i don’t really much write fluff since i don’t have any idea how to write a good fluff!! :( this has been an issue every time i write some au’s. so im always ending up writing and focusing more on angst. it’s the genre i know best. well, crack… it’s hard to make the readers laugh when you can’t even make their tooth ache from sweetness with your fluffy writings. :( smut… i don’t write smut explicitly any more. i’m more on the suggestive side rn.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc i write OC’s especially when im writing a series!! to diversify my writing. but i usually am on the x reader side. ships? not that much.

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? uhm, back in 2017, i was searching for some website where i could publish my works. ive always been a tumblr-girl since i am that wanna-be-aesthetic kinda person :D then i had found that i could write and publish on tumblr so yeah that’s pretty much why i am on this app rn

What inspires you to write? ooh, music has been a great help for sure!! whenever i don’t feel like writing something, i always listen to music and the idea would flow like a river. classic poems helps, too. :)

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? supernatural!au’s, fantasy!au, medieval!au. i feel like it’s easier to write something out of pure fantasy. i have a hard time writing modern!au’s since i lack the humor and the knowledge for modern slangs.

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? ooh, i always always always am careful with the way that i craft all my works. i try to feel what my characters feel to give them a certain validation. i put my shoes on the scenarios i have in mind even though i haven’t yet experienced everything ive written. and i do love writing strong female characters, whether it’s oc’s or female readers. that’s my main priority whenever i write. and i want them to know that girls could do just as much everything boys could. women are powerful.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? i read a lot to get back on my foot. i also try to re-read my past works so i’d be inspired to better my writing on my current draft.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? my favorite work is the one i’m still writing rn, which is entitled 505. it’s a hendery fic in which he is a bandit and the female reader is a sacristan. it’s my fave since i relate myself so much to the female reader. :) my most successful one is the childhood best friends!au taeyong x female reader. it’s about to reach 600+ notes i guess? and im so grateful of all the feedbacks i got from it.

Who is your favorite person to write about? it’s jaehyun and hendery :)

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? character wise, perhaps. since you already have a face value in fanfiction, but in an original prose, you would have to craft everything from 0.

What do you think makes a good story? a good story is something that doesn’t romanticize the bad things going on in the world. a good story is something that is emphatic to the hardships of others. a good story is something that gives comfort to those who are in the dark. a good story is something that boosts the hearts of the readers and makes them feel things!!

What is your writing process like? first, i think of a plot! (this happens oftentimes when im washing the dishes) when i have the plot, i think of the ending. when i have the ending, it’s time for me to device a fitting title. and the plot would develop from then on.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? i don’t think so… this is scary. since some people think of fanfics as delusional works from delusional authors. it’s kinda sad.

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? i love love love enemies-to-lovers trope!! one that i couldn’t stand and do my best to not read is probably… hmm… no, i love all tropes!! i just love e-t-l most!

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? it means a ton. since it could really boosts me up. heavy sigh. it’s the best thing when you write something— the feedbacks. even though it’s a simple reblog with the ‘#ATKSHSKSHSKAHAKSGAHGEGSJA’ or ‘#myfave’. i would smile like an idiot whenever i read it.

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? i want to be a successful writer someday!

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? teleportation!!

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? ancient greek + victorian era

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you? yes!! im so hell deep in indecision right now so i want to restart to make everything right

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? 100 chicken-sized horses!!

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? enemies-to-lovers trope agsksj LOL

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? YES!!! perhaps they are lurking somewhere here on earth and we don’t know it yet ;)

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? oh… i don’t really know what to write. i don’t give much attention to my personal details agsksj

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? yes!! ugh, there’s this recent issue wherein stan twt called fanfic writers as freaks. and it broke my heart. i mean, most fanfic writers get inspirations from their idols and that shouldn’t be a bad thing. we aren’t delusionals as one might think. we are simply doing our craft.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? yes!! our country’s hero ‘jose rizal’ had somehow stirred the nationality of the people back in the old days because of his writings. i do believe that art changes things!! it has the ability to pierce the heart of the people.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? yes. i feel this whenever im writing smut. i mean, let’s be real, your works would do better once you’ve included some steamy smut scenes in it. when i was writing my first fanfic after three years, i didn’t think that i’d ever include smut. but the fear of not getting feedbacks crept up in me, so i forced myself to write some sexy scenes. i know that’s like… weird. but i’m trying not to dwell on feedbacks any longer. and i also have decided not to write explicit smut anymore. honestly, i feel better now that i don’t force myself to do something that i think would please others rather than me.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? uhm, as far as i can remember, nope— still hasn’t felt that way. :)

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? yes!! my best friends irl knows about it. my sister knows. my parents are also aware of my passion in writing, and they do know that i write. but where and what, that remains obscured from them :D

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? that it’s okay to be vulnerable. it’s okay to make mistakes. it’s okay to fail sometimes. it’s okay to feel things. because like a good book, there is always a character development and you have the pen to write your own version of happy endings.

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i’ve been there: the scared and conscious part. but one thing i would say is, you have to dare yourself!! you won’t know how your writing would have impacted so many lives and touch the hearts of people if you won’t grab your pen or your gadget and start your draft.

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? nope, there aren’t. the community has been lovely to me ever since i started writing. :,)

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? yes!! oh my god. i’d like to take this opportunity to thank my mutuals who’s done me nothing but kindness— @legendnct (hannah), whoo!! you know how much i love you, right? thank you for always being there to listen to me. :) @cloudysuh des, since day one you’ve supported me. i couldn’t ask for more. thank you for the never-ending praises, keyboard smashes, for the tags, and for always boosting me up. @bohoes georgie, you know i love you. since 2017 you’ve been with me— praising my works and supporting me. thank you. @cherr-e cherry!! thank you!! for teaching me how to better my writing. i hope endless happiness for u and please take care. @writermoon hello my babe!! thank you so much for reading my works with such vivid imaginations. i love you. @jaeyongf amy!! the bestest person :,) thank you for always leaving me feedbacks!! thank you for being kind to me. thank you for always supporting me. i love you guys so much and let’s be mutuals for a long time!!

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

“If the world hated you, and believed you wicked, while your own conscience approved you, and absolved you from guilt, you would not be without friends.” — Jane Eyre, Charlotte Brontë

#@jungcity #@v-asl #thesunnyshow #featuredauthor #episode 22 #nct #wayv

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faunusrights · 6 years ago

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OFFAL HUNT REMASTER LIVEBLOG // CHAPTER 9

oh goody!

well this is it. the Date Chapter. the chapter, in which, the Date happens. lowkey im so fucking hype for this stupid goddamn chapter AAAAAAAAAAAA this is when the sexy got kicked up about seven notches and i know its gonna be a fucking twenty from here on out so LETS GO LESBIANS LETS GO

“Is this your date, Ms. Fall?” he asked.

Cinder didn’t look away from Glynda. “Mhm.”

STRAIGHT OUT OF THE GODDAMN GATE WE DIDN’T EVEN HAVE A SECOND TO EVEN GATHER OURSELVES JUST STRAIGHT UP HUH!!!!!!!!! ‘is this your date’ im legally dead

What the fuck.

already im fucking THRIVING im so glad this chapter’s mood got encapsulated within the first ten seconds and im definitely gonna have to re-read this chapter for the full unannotated experience OOOOOOOOOH MY GOD IM SO READY

Glynda’s thoughts ricocheted inside her head like coins left in a dryer. A part of her couldn’t understand what was happening and disengaged. The rest of her, grasping for purchase in all this, reasoned that going with Cinder was better than staying here confused, alone, and utterly displaced.

glynda ‘i aint ever had a gf before’ goodwitch at her PEAK right here. like GOD shes gone from ‘cinder’s trying to murder me’ to ‘cinder just plopped me right into a date’ like CINDER. CINDER YR CHANGING GEARS SO FAST. YOU DIDNT EVEN SEND FLOWERS OR ANYTHING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

is it because shes a u-haul lesbian or

Higher, Glynda realized the dress itself was backless, revealing the black tattoo she’d seen so often before, perfectly centered between sharp shoulder blades.

this gay energy is BONKERS, quite frankly??????? where did cinder get her dress from? why does she have it? did she buy it just for this fuckery? or will she pull the ‘i just had a this lil number laying around’ line????????? does she wanna seduce glynda to death?????? was this PLANNED OR DID SHE JUST DECIDE SHE WANTED A DATE AND WTH LIFE REALLY IS SHORT ON REMNANT THESE DAYS?????????? cinder fall please explain your workings to the class

maybe Glynda wasn’t the only one who’d become adept at reading her opponent.

👏 when 👏 will 👏 they 👏 kiss 👏 already 👏👏👏👏

me: this is a slowburn also me: if u assholes dont give me this in the next ten seconds-

“Unarmed? As if you could be so helpless.”

cinder’s style of flirting is just. commentating on a person’s deadliness. that’s IT it’s the only TRICK SHE HAS and its working, is the thing,

im reading the description of the table and remembering the shitpost and oh my god i have to draw this???? hell IS real!!!!!! COULDNT YALL JUST TOSS EM IN A PLAIN BOX,

Cinder eyed her from her bastion of dark cushions,

cinder, ass-deep in cushions: this is peak cuddle territory come and join me

Cinder, for her part, seemed delighted Glynda had noticed. Touching the pendant more gently than Glynda might have ever thought her capable of, Cinder said, “Yours? You didn’t seem to mind parting with it.”

im still deeply enjoying this powermove the novelty NEVER wears off (and at risk of light spoilers i do enjoy its place in this story 👀)

Cinder let the necklace drop, settling against the swell of her bust once more,

/lightly coughs 👀👀👀

im losing my MIND at how gay this bit is i physically cannot HANDLE IT and if they even describe the meal once im gonna pop off cause i am. SO HUNGRY RN. AAAAAAAAAAAA

Cinder indicated a dish of lamb and vegetables, served on a bed of rice and drizzled in some sort of sauce.

SRY THIS ISNT GAY BUT OH MY GOD IM SO HUNGRY I WANNA E A T I T THAT SOUNDS SO GOOD UGHGHGHGHGHGH WHY DID THIS CHAPTER HAVE TO BE TODAY OF ALL THE DAYS,

Glynda cleared her throat, working out: “The Grimm.”

like. GOD WE KNOW GLYNDA IS JUST SO FUNCTIONALLY BAD AT CONVERSATION BUT OF ALL THE THINGS glynda please just. just. stop thinking abt her sexy tattoos for a fifth of a second,

“You can control them.” A sedate blink. For all the world, Glynda might have just commented on the weather.

which is a faux pas for a date!!!!!!!!!!! at least tell her the DRESS IS SEXY WE ALL KNO WHATS WHAT YR THINKIN ABT

Glancing down as though it were being pointed out to her for the first time, Cinder shrugged and adjusted the end of the glove a little higher on her bicep. “And?”

a quick aside im enjoying how like... visually expressive cinder is in this remaster! i can see her facial expressions and her motions really clearly in my mind’s eye which is a fun little boon if only because i have to redraw this nonsense hjsgdfjhfksgd but cinder’s got a Good Face this time around! A QUALITY FACE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

You should know by now, there’s something about you that’s simply irresistible to Grimm.”

HERE COMES THE PLOT (and a single surviving line so far... this one sentence has survived all the world could throw at it... we stan)

Cinder straightened, and Glynda saw that this was what she’d been waiting for.

“It isn’t every day the great Glynda Goodwitch kneels before her adversary, is it?”

HELLO??????????????????????????? WHATS THIS WORDING????????? honestly tho for a second i thought she meant like. quite literally and i thought id missed some PROPER SHIT RIGHT THERE BUT YEAH WTH!!!!!!! C I N D E R

“You cheated. You can’t beat me on your own.”

yes glynda we gathered that yr a top

“Really, Glynda? Poison?” she sneered, something like offense simmering in her expression. “After all this?”

looks at the camera

anyway,

god im literally losing grasp of words to say because theres such a charged mood in this scene............. theyre brushing fingers............ trading jabs.......... im slurpin it up babey!!!!!!!! this rly is the BEST remaster of this whole scene it DESERVES this wordcount!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Beat you,” Cinder corrected. “And call it a point of pride.”

yes cinder we gathered yr a brat,

this dynamic is why this fic is so fuckign good when will winter have a swift return to add even more fuckery to this wild ride

Then, with a heavy-lidded look, Cinder found Glynda’s hand between them, the touch so sudden and daring that Glynda flinched. The fabric of those gloves was smooth against Glynda’s flesh, and for all that cruelty had marked every other instance of contact between them, Cinder was surprisingly gentle.

whomp there go my nuts

WHAT IS THIS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHO MADE THE EXECUTIVE CHOICE TO ADD THIS LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO???????????? im losing my BRAINCELLS

What she wasn’t ready for was for Cinder to guide her hand to her own throat and hold it there.

THERE IS IT THERE’S THE KINK IT’S BEEN SPOTTED

oh my GOD what even IS THIS WHO ADDED THIS SECTION WHO ALLOWED THIS TO COME TO P A S S WHAT THE FUCK EVEN IS RN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! HELLO????????? HEWWO??????????

Now… Now Cinder interested her.

tbh how can i liveblog this? what commentary can i POSSIBLY add that we arent already all THINKING. we just launched into a level of hell so deep that lucifers gonna have to pull some goddamn tricks to follow us down here!!!!!!!!!! WHAT IS THIS SCENE! THIS MOMENT! IM SCREAMING

Glynda mirrored the expression back at him, and finally, he coughed, not making strong eye contact with either of them. He set their plate before them and hurried out without so much as a check-in.

i just KNEW that was gonna happen JHGDSFGJHKSDF he was gonna walk in on SMTHNG but i didnt think itd be CINDER’S CHOKING KINK,

okay i took a break and ate my weight in roast chicken and we’re back babey

Almost nervously, her fingers carded through her own dark hair, and there, among the locks, Glynda spotted a glimpse of something white, structured and ridged.

AND I AM INSTANTLY KNOCKED BACK UPON MY ASS 👈W👈H😨A👈T👈

It was easier to ignore the rest of it—whatever it was.

glynda you are a fool and a moron im withering into DUST

On no level had she expected those to be Glynda’s words.

then what... did she expect... well probably -- and rightly so -- ‘bitch WHAT ARE THOSE’ TBH

wait sorry i have to jump back because i forgot customary fingerguns on the most brazen bit of Shit yet:

Cinder was occupying herself with something else: the head of a dragon, perched over the door and staring down at the two of them with red, glossy eyes.

👈👈👈😎👈👈👈

okay BACK TO THE FIC

Fangs snapped together around the word.

aka back to me horni

/chanting TEETH! TEETH! TE

okay but the reason i doubled back to catch that fingergun is because we’re getting ass-deep into plot now!!!!!!!!!!! WITCHES AND DRAGONS BABEY......... HERE’S WHAT OFFAL HUNT IS ALL ABT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i cant rly drop more fingerguns than that because any astute reader will start realising the dots im shouting abt and honestly half the fun of this fic is the ride so >:3c

“Funny. I was sure he would have told you.”

that blow was so low i think cinder hit the concrete with that one

oh god theyre gonna get to the bit and i-

“Is that what all of this has been about? You called me here to remind me that I'm autistic?”

/SCREAMS

The words were delivered firmly, calmly, but Cinder’s response was the opposite, sudden upheaval seizing her. Her expression opened in something akin to panic. “Wh—no? What? No! That's not what I—”

/SCREAMS

oh my GOD CINDER YOU HAVE FUCKED UP LEGENDARILY!!!!!!!!!! OH MY GOD SHE WAS FELL ASS-FIRST ONTO A LANDMINE OH MY GOD

offal hunt v1 cinder: im totally in control and im playing glynda every step of the way

offal hunt v2 cinder: OH JESUS OH FUCK OH NO THAT’S NOT WHAT I MEANT-

Cinder seemed genuinely stressed now, speaking quicker as though trying to bury the last sixty seconds.

i knew this remaster would have sections that would blow me away but this bit really took the fcuking cake DGHSJFSJHFDG holy SHIT this is AMAZING

It was difficult to tell in the low light, but if Glynda wasn't mistaken, there was a bright flush of embarrassment coloring Cinder’s cheeks.

this is SUCH prime content hey remember in one of the early liveblogs that cinder would descend into full dork? WELL THE DESCENT CAME EARLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! /pops bottles

“Cinder.” There was a very real line of threat in Glynda’s tone. “Don’t.”

oh this whole scene just keeps getting better i am LOVING this dynamic now!!!!!!! before it was all pretty one-sided so having the conversation rock back and forth is 👌👌👌

That Witch soul of yours—it was designed to void out everything but the prey before you. To be numb to all human emotion. To focus on the hunt and nothing else.

finally the fruit of 50% of my fingerguns COMES TO LIGHT!!!!!!!!!!! PLOT PLOT PLOT

“This is bullshit.” Jabbing an accusing finger at Cinder, Glynda said, “You’re a liar. You’re a criminal!”

i LOVE glyndas pottymouth in this its such a good like... change from her being strict and formal and teachery and now shes full on gremlin huntress hell YES BABY!!!!!!!!!! GO OFF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“There’s all kinds of things I bet he never told you.” Cinder continued. “Did you know he was close to your predecessor? The Witch who came before you—they were inseparable.”

SRY IM LIKE STRUGGLIN TO COMMENTATE because so much of this like. speaking as an Old-Ass Reader this is like. a LOT! A LOT HAS CHANGED and yet,,,, stayed the same,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, yall kids WILL NEVER KNOW WHAT IT WAS LIKE TO HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL CHAPTER LIKE................ 15 FOR THIS SHIT (but like. chapter 15 was different because this chapter used to be like chapter 7? so now everythings moved along so chapter 15 doesnt sound that impressive but trust me it was a different fic back then)

When they fell away, burnt and ruined, she could see Cinder’s bare arms for the first time. The red lines drawn across her skin sloped down the entire length of her arms, circling her elbows, carved into her wrists. They ended right at her hands, ensuring any long-sleeved garment would hide them. Every covered inch of her was filled like a canvas, like abstract art.

lets pause the fight scene for glynda to be gay!!!!! god im. okay look i said this earlier but im so glad we have more cinder like this tbh. the first version was rly lacking w/ cinder content until late-game when the plot sorta. got itself going? but now we’re eye-deep in this content i LOVE cinder i love this WEIRDO who is a HUGE LOSER and IDIOT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! IM LOVE HER SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

And Glynda could not dispel the fear that she had been telling the truth.

and after committing Some Amount In Damages, we’re at the end of the chapter!

okay so i really enjoyed this version SO MUCH MORE. everything abt it was polished and worked together so much better and it really needed the space to breathe in its own chapter. its been horny, gay, intense, hilarious, and way more in one chapter and its SO good this really is PEAK offal hunt!!!!!!!!!!!! good job diesel and kc but im still going to murder you both,

#rwby #offal hunt #liveblog

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absolutelybifurious · 7 years ago

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homecoming feelings inc (spoilers: most of them will look something like i love tony stark i LOVE tony stark i loVE TONY STARK I LOVE ad nauseum)

peters video recording of civil war what an absolute babe

“thats not a hug im reaching for the door” (yeah right tony we all know you crave human contact)

why does peter know spanish?

peter taking time to pet the cat *_*

peter desperately looking for ways to help and giving that lady directions,,,, my son

“why did i mention the churro”

peter saving the cat and handing it back to the shop owner LIKE OH MYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY GODDDDDDDDDDDDD I LOVE HIM

michelle doing situps with her book

no one will convince me flash doesnt have a massive gay crush on peter parker yall, i mean cmon?? HE MAKES EVERYTHING ABOUT HIM CLASSIC CRUSH SIGNS,,, hes legitimately obsessed with him, like i’m not kidding i can’t remember the specifics but several times i was like ok this is just kinda coded like hes into peter actually?

“you’re here too” “am i?” truly the best scene in the film michelle is a gift and zendaya is our glorious goddess who has bestowed this wonder on us

god the van scene, i immediately loved donald glover but that could be bc hes cute. but the thing is, this movie did such a Job of making peter immature. like i was continuously frustrated with him bc he was so markedly different and less mature than any of the other heroes. he screwed up again and again and again and the kidness of him was so well done. like it infuriated me half the time. but damn it was well done

TONY INSTALLED A HEATER IN PETERS SUIT

TONY WAS PAYING SO MUCH ATTENTION TO PETER THAT HE NOTICED WHEN THINGS WENT POORLY

TONY LISTENED TO THE PROBABLY HUNDREDS OF REPORTS PETER SENT AND REMEMBERS THE FUCKING CHURRO

tony wants to talk to peter about his college plans

tony stark is the best dad ever, and really in general he is the best person ever and no one will ever tell me that there is a person with a better heart in the MCU BECAUSE THERE IS FUCKING NOT

TONY STARK IS TOO GOOD FOR ALL OF US WE DO NOT DESERVE HIM

poor ned :( “that hats not working” i was really mad at peter for the way he kept ditching all hsi real life friends

kinda glad vulture killed that guy what a disrespectful douche

“i thought that was the anti gravity gun” “wHAT NO” hmMmMmMm I LOVE

also he treats his other ppl with a lot of respect and later the ppl still think they can leave and like, thats cool

michelle noticing what peters quit already

i have a hot date with black widow later

that is false

another long one: i didnt super buy peters crush on liz. it felt really faked because he never really made choices for her, and i get that he was more into spiderman but i never felt the significance of the crush... i think that was played over a little bit too much

also i dont think ive been this impressed with a villain in the marvel franchise since loki. vulture was so compellingly realistic. i know they tried that shit with whats his face from civil war but he was so irrelevant i didnt care. vulture was relevant, scary, but also emotionally compelling

fucking taser web

you jumped off the sign and landed on your face

i love karen

i read a post about tony coding an AI thats emotionally encouraging and invested in peters life bc tony is invested in peters life and like iw ant to die

i just dont want to celebrate something built by slaves

THE GUARDS LIKE PREACH

michelle is a gift

“kiss her peter”

“thank you”

donald glover I HAVE A NEPHEW YEEEEEEEEEE BOY GIVE ME MILES I DESERVE IT

the whole interrogation scene was golden,,,, “NEVER DO THAT AGAIN KAREN”

you’re a criminal!!! you deserve it!!!!!!!!!!!!! bye!! criminal!! i love peter so much

TONY STARK CALLING TO TELL PETER WHAT A GOOD JOB HE DID IN DC TONY STARK BEING A SUPPORTIVE, GOOD PARENT AND WANTING TO MAKE SURE PETER KNOWS HE IS PAYING ATTENTION

peter just keeps causing disaster after disaster

that whole ferry scene had me cringing

but he tried so hard to help everyone!!

tonys anger after it was totally warranted. i dont blame him for taknig the suit.

MY FAVORITE LINE: if you really cared you’d be here AND TONY MOTHERFUCKING STEPS OUT OF THE SUIT

and god rdj brings the fuCKING PAIN you can see how panicked he is how muc hhe doesnt want to hurt peter but how SCARED he is bc peter isnt listening to him and god!!! what if something happened to peter!! you can hear the self loathing and the pain that hes carrying from all the other movies all he wants to do is make sure nothing happens to peter or anyone else

tony listened to peter to try and stop the vulture, tony takes him seriously!!!!!!!!!!! tony is such a good dad and such a good person and HOLY SHIT!! TONY STARK!!!!!!!!!

hes hurting so much in that scene he doesnt wanna be like howard HE DROPPED EVERYTHING TO GO HELP PETER IM UNDONE

also look how well peter got back on track after he lost the suit

still ??? at the liz scene tho?? i just didnt feel that relationship much at all, there wasnt anything there

PLOT TWIST PLOT TWIST PLOT TWIST

MMMM THATS SOME GOOOOOOD SHIT

and once again vulture is incredibly compelling bc that brings a whole new context to why his face changed re: dc and why he didnt try to kill peter on the ferry

michelle doing the casual flip-off, god i love her so much??

holy shit peter in the wreckage, tom holland go off that acting tore my heart in half AND THEN HE REMEMEBRED TONY WORDS

CMON SPIDERMAN I AM SOBBING

FLASH ASKING DO YOU REALLY KNOW PETER PARKER HES IN LOVE

vultures desperation in this final scene is,,,wow, you fucking feel it, it makes sense. hes such a compelling villain.

peter saving vulture what a fucking babe

liz really is a sweet girl i wish i’d believed the crush more bc she deserves all the love

my friends call me mj YISSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS gimme that michelle/peter RN

michelle acting like she doesnt care and then THAT LOOK THAT LOOOOK OMG ZENDAYA KILLED ME HOW DID SHE CONVEY SO MUCH ACTUAL LOVE AND COMPASSION AND CRUSH 101 IN A 2 SECOND CLIP YALL

happy in the bathroom. goodbye to me.

can we talk about tony? being so ecstatic that peter did all this? tony saying thatw as the tough love moment you needed and being so convinced that it wasnt and so convinced by his own acting that he could never actulally ahve inspired anything like that so hes just going to blaze ahead and not even acknowledge that yes!! it was actually!!!!!!!! he was a great father figurei n that moment and in this whole movie

but he doesn’t believe that so he’s just going to keep being sarcastic to cover up for the fact that he doesnt think any of this had almost anything to do with him and everthing to do with peter

bc he has no concept of his own self-worth and yet to contrast that he directly inflates it and is so used to ppl disregarding it and accusing him of having an ego that even in this moment when he does something really amazing he makes it about his fake-ass ego and doesn’t let anyone actually give him credit for anything bc he is too busy giving himself fake-credit that he uses as an excuse in every other scene to call himself a piece of shit,,, that other ppl use to call him that bc ppl cant see through it bc he doesnt actually WANT anyone looking too closely, and yet, in this scene, he seems to be using it to exempt peter from actually acknowledging what he did was good bc hahaha im a self-congratulatory egomaniac

anyway hahahaha i love tony stark

also he is sad, he wants peter to stay with him, but he lets it go bc he recognizes it was the mature choice (and probably not the one he’d ahve made)

hes so proud of peter i want to die

PEPPER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

THE RING!!

they’re both so confused about happy and the ring i love it

PEPPER!!!!!!!!! THEY’RE BACK!!!!!!!!! THANK FUCKING JESUS BC IF SOMEONE DIDNT LOVE TONY STARK IN THIS DARK TIME THEN IW OULD HAVE FOUND A WAY TO BREAK INTO THIS FICTIONAL REALM AND DO IT MYSELF

that little kiss was everything she lvoes him i love them

ugh

this movie was gr8 a++++

i love my son tony stark and his son peter parker and his future wife michelle

#homecoming spoilers #spider man homecoming #homecoming #tony stark #peter parker #mcu

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uniformbravo · 5 years ago

Text

animorphs liveblogs, this time a marco book so u already know it’s gonna be a party am i Right boys,,,,,

---

i read so much goddamn animorphs today and update: marco is, once again, ruining my life,

this is actually one of the very few books i personally own (out of two to be precise) so i am. Somewhat familiar. vaguely. let’s fuckin.,.., Do this

[from the back cover of the book]

But Marco's personal stress is causing him to morph into creatures that don't exist.

“marco’s personal stress” this should be...... fun

My name is Marco. But you can call me "Marco the Mighty." Or "Most Exalted Destroyer of My Pride." You can cower before my mighty thumbs and beg for mercy, but you'll be crushed just the same. For I am the lord of the PlayStation. Pick a game. Any game. Tekken. Duke Nukem. NFL Blitz. Whatever. Practice all you want. I'll still beat you. I'll crush you like Doc Martens crush ants. I'll -

i hate him. ia hhate him so mugjfn

"I was just watching his show -" Rachel cut me off. "You were watching William Roger Tennant? Marco looking for advice? On what? Coping with shortness?" "I was just channel surfing," I yelled. "That's not the point!

hklJKDJ GOD

Confirmed

<You know why you're here,> Cassie replied. <You switched with Jake so you could watch the South Park marathon last night.> <Yeah, but that was before I knew about The Powerpuff Girls marathon,> I grumbled.

SUPER CONFIRMED

<Something bothering you, Marco?> Cassie asked. <No, absolutely not.>

jdkdjdsf the avoidance tactics

And then there’s Euclid.> <Her toy poodle.> <Satan with a perm. Simple commands like "sit," "stay," "heel" all mean the same thing to this dog: Bark at Marco. Jump on Marco. Bite Marco's ankle.>

ffuckign Good Dog

For forty-five minutes we followed William Roger Tennant up the beach and then back to the compound. For forty-five minutes I vented. Cassie may or may not have listened. Every once in a while, she said <”uh-huh”> or <”bummer.”> By the time Tennant walked back through the gate of the compound, I felt a little better.

ok but i just love this so much like. ive mentioned before how i love cassie and marco and this is just so Good this is a Good Scene

The first thing to change was my head. It began to shrink. From normal size to the size of a cantaloupe. To grapefruit. To orange. To just slightly bigger than a cherry tomato. <Oh, that's a nice look,> Rachel said. <Now your head finally matches the size of your brain.>

all i want is an animorphs spin off series thats just 100% rachel’s burns on marco they give me so much life

also all i can think about is this pic gkdjlfksdlfkdj

ok so this book is rly fun, basically it’s like everyone is super fucked up from this war but marco in particular is so super duper fucked rn he’s reached another plane of fucked he’s on a higher tier of emotional distress and it’s messing with his ability to morph, he’s so spectacularly damaged that he’s experiencing it in new and unprecedented ways he’s fucking evolving he’s ascending

"Cassie?" "Hi. Can I come in?" She didn't wait for me to answer but just sort of pushed her way past me. I followed her back to the living room. She turned off the TV and looked expectantly at me. - "You have something to tell me?" "No." "So why are you here?" "I'm here to listen to you." I laughed. "What, are you a shrink now?" She shrugged. "You said it yourself: We can't exactly go to see counselors, can we?" "Look, I'm fine." "No, you're not," she said. "Jake bought it, Rachel bought it, but I didn't. Something went wrong. I heard it in your thought-speak. You blew another morph." I sat down. I was sure I'd covered. I was sure. But of course this was Cassie. Cassie who knows what people are feeling about five minutes before they do. "Did you tell Jake?" "No. And I won't." "Why not? What happened to it being everyone's concern?" "Because I want you to know you can trust me. You know, enough to talk to."

god like??? their relationship is just So Good i love that cassie is the one to reach out to marco so consistently and genuinely, the only one to offer that kind of support, because he shoves all his pain away and hides it from everyone else but she sees his truth, insightful cassie, and then actually sets out to do something about it

because let’s not forget jake, who knows every member of his team inside out and Absolutely knows when marco is having problems, but isn’t the same person as cassie. cassie, who worries for her friends. cassie, who wants to help in any way she can. jake sees an issue like this and analyzes its contribution or detriment in relation to a mission, decides whether it’s worth looking into, and acts accordingly. he simply does whatever is necessary to reach the goal. he doesn’t have the time or energy to go chasing after every member of his team every time they break down, because they’re all broken and they all deal with it differently, and that’s really what it comes down to for him: they deal with it. get it done, and deal with it. no time for anything else, just let everyone fix themselves as they do, and move on to the next thing.

which is such an interesting parallel to cassie’s way of dealing with these things. cassie the empathetic healer, who speaks her mind and confronts the issues everyone else glosses over. it’s such a breath of fresh air to see her enter into the situation with pure intention, to fix, to help. these books give such a feeling of loneliness sometimes, spinning tales of personal conflict and avoidance and silent suffering, especially in the case of marco, who deliberately masks his pain with laughter, pain’s polar opposite. cassie is a force of companionship, of understanding in a place where it’s desperately needed, and i think it’s really refreshing, given everything else that happens constantly around her. it’s just really nice, is all i’m saying

She ignored my weak attempt at a joke. "And then we found out your mom was still alive. Only she wasn't your mom anymore. Her body had been taken over by a Yeerk. And she was the enemy. Marco, in the space of a few awful months you've gone from believing your mother is dead to almost literally having to try and destroy her." "And you think maybe that's stressful?" I deadpanned. "I think it would have crushed most people," she said. "That mission against her and Visser Three, you were setting her up to take a fall. You were intimately involved with leading Visser One, your mother, into a trap that -" "Shut up! Shut up!" I jerked up off the couch. I had my hands over my ears. Stupid. I took my hands down. They were trembling. "Look, Cassie ..." I started to say with exaggerated calm. But then I forgot what I wanted to say. I could see her. On that mountaintop. Her sudden realization that it was me who had brought her there. Marco. Me. Her son. Her host's son. Not some ruthless Andalite warrior but her own son . . . Visser Three's troops and ships closing in. The cliff giving way. Falling. And later, Rachel had come to me and said that her body could not be found. That maybe she was still alive. And Rachel had understood that she wasn't doing me any favors because it was so much better to know, to know for sure anything, even to know something terrible as long as the torture of uncertainty was over. . . . "What did I do?" I whispered.

im in immediate pain i dont want this get this away from me remove this from my life in the present year of 2016*

he didnt even realize until now, he didn’t even put this together until now he was so focused on every other aspect of the situation that he didn’t even think about anything other than the fact that it was entirely his fault that his mother was possibly dead, he just had too many other things clouding his mind to realize that oh shit if she’s still alive we’re all kind of fucked

he’s usually so conscious of things like that at all times but this particular event fucked him up so good it blocked his perceptiveness, he probably didn’t want to think about it he probably pushed it out of his mind as much as possible so whenever it did manage to surface the only thing he felt was guilt and pain, as in the emotional response rather than the tactical thinking

he doesn’t realize until right now, when cassie confronts him and forces him to think about it, what the facts strung together actually mean for them, five books later this is happening i’m gone knock me tf out

"Nora and I have been talking about getting married, Marco. But we won't do it without your okay." "Yeah? And what if it's not okay?" I said. I could hardly hear my own voice. He sighed. His eyes turned vacant, distant. The way they'd looked for a large part of the past two years. I hadn't missed that look. I hadn't missed it at all. "Marco, we're a team, you and I. We've been through a lot together. If you say no, I'll accept that." Fine. So it was on me. Great. Typical. Yeah, why not? I'll decide if my dad is happy or not, if my mom is still my mom. I'll decide if she lives or if she dies so that I, the Great Marco, the great cold-blooded Marco can prove how tough I am by leading her into a trap, setting her up ... I felt pain. I was digging my fingernails into the side of my head. I was going to explode. Some artery in my head was going to blow apart. It was too much. Way too much. "I'm out of here," I said. I got up and ran for the door.

re: those last few lines: live footage of me reacting to this entire passage,

[context: marco messed up a morph in the middle of a mission & is now lost in a half poodle half polar bear morph]

<Come on, Marco,> Cassie encouraged. <It's going to be okay. Remember the mission?> The mission? I poked Tennant's huddled body with my paw. Watched him shrink and shudder. <What's going on, Marco?> Cassie said soothingly. <Talk to me. We're your friends. Talk to us, talk to me and-> <Talk my butt,> Jake snapped. <Marco. Cope. Now. That's an order.> It was like a bucket of ice water dumped on my head. It was like waking up from an intense dream. Fast. Painful. Slowly my mind grasped control. <Jake, he's going through some bad stuff in his life,> Cassie said. <He's stressed. His dad is-> <Cassie, you know I love you and admire you, but be quiet,> Jake said. <You listen to me, Marco. We have zero time for your self-pity. I don't care what your problems are. You deal with this, right now.> I started to shrink. My body deflated like a balloon with a pin-hole. My head, shrinking. Becoming a normal poodle head. <That's not exactly enlightened behavior, Jake,> Cassie shot back, obviously angry. <lf he's having stress-> <Cassie, he's not you, he's not Rachel, he's not even me. He's Marco,> Jake said. <What he needs is to pull his head out of his rear end and remember what he always says.> What I always say? What was he talking about? Jake said, <Life is either tragedy or comedy. Usually it's your choice. You can whine or you can laugh.> I laughed. Laughed in recognition. Oh, yeah. I do say that. I was completely poodle.

Oh How The Turntables Holy Shit

like is it just me or is this super fucked up for jake to do oh my god?? humor is marco’s defense mechanism he uses to ignore his terrible realities and bottle everything up and hide it all away and it’s super unhealthy and cassie recognizes that, so she tries to help him by showing empathy and encouraging him to open up

jake also knows this about marco and and instead uses it to put him back on track on a mission like instead of saying “you can’t bottle up your emotions like this it’s not healthy and it’s obviously causing major problems” he’s like “you better bottle that shit up right this fucking instant or so help me god”

and the thing is it fucking works, marco snaps right out of it like “oh yeah bottling up my emotions why didn’t i think of that lol” and the whole thing just kind of strikes me as Super Fucked Up???? wow

i absolutely love it tho like dont get me wrong im not trying to demonize jake or w/e- it’s just another example of that brutal realism you get with this series because it feels like there should have been some kind of moral lesson about friendship and emotional support at the end of this, like it should have been cassie who managed to get through to marco by being there for him in such a critical moment, but it’s not. the thing that puts him back on track is literally the opposite of that, it’s jake basically telling him that his emotions are a waste of everyone’s time and that he needs to shove them aside just like he always does because it’s worked in the past and it needs to work Right The Fuck Now- it’s the invalidation of marco’s emotions that finally manages to pull him back to where he can essentially “function” properly again, as far as morphing goes

god and this is the shit that always gets me, why i love these books so much, like not to get all Edgy or anything but it’s that brutal reality of a fucked up situation, where there is no moral at the end, the serious issues aren’t getting resolved, the characters are fighting amongst themselves and damaging each other in the process it’s just?? so???? it’s so fucking Good like God i just

i cannot even describe how much i love this series, i just

i really love animorphs, okay,

god

I was coming home from school when I heard the phone ring. It rings more often now with Nora around because she gets calls from parents asking why their kids are flunking math. I decided not to answer. Let the machine get it. And then, I heard her voice. "Marco, if you're there, pick up." My mother.

wHAT KIND OF ENDING IS THIS IM SCREECHING IN THE MOONLIGHT GOOOODDDDDD Hhe was about to move on, this book was ending in all this acceptance and starting anew shit and now ur pulling a fast one on me like this ummMMMMM??? UMMMMMMMMMMM?M???? BY E

((lmao retroactive 2 years later bullet point add, @ visser one what the fuck this was so risky what if marco’s dad was home??? what if the three of them were all sitting around the dinner table having a meal and ur damn Mom Voice starts projecting across the entire living room uhh??? hello?????? i kno ur deal is that ur literally in space jail abt to be convicted for space crimes or w/e but i stg at least do a batman????? or pull an accent or S ometh ign jesus christ. smh))

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*lol

#ya sorry like a solid 60% of this is book excerpts i stopped giving a fuck #i want to include everything relevant instead of constantly cutting it down for the sake of a shorter post lollll #retag later #animorphs blogging #(also that part where i mention it's 2016 lmfao yea this post is rly old)#god ive been having so much fun w/ tobias lately in back to before that i almost forgot how much marco absolutely destroys me #thanks @ this post for reminding me. i love it

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