#im queer and thus everything i write will be too

[thecoolerliauditore]

THE SHEPSCAPADES COMIC! That was to me (and from my perspective to the fandom) the turning point of “ok, im not imagining this”. It doesn’t change any dialogue or anything, it just gives the characters facial expressions and yet it’s almost impossible to interpret the interaction in any way other than the relationship not being good.

The dl era, to me, was a lot of trying to ignore the implication of ranchers fanon lore being that, for once, someone is being nice to Jimmy. People could see the difference in their interactions, which made the abusive behaviour all the more difficult to ignore, and yet acknowledging this directly would be labelled shipping discourse and no one wants to be THAT fan, right? But the tension growing was palpable.

I also would like to add that once I decided to scroll through anti-toxic fh blogs to try and understand why they think like that and… a lot of it was just “well it makes me feel gross”? And I get it. Cannibalism and mass murder are, to most of us, a very distant concept, so it’s more comfortable to engage with than the horrors of the mundane, especially when applied to a queer character. But that doesn’t mean it’s any better than talking about domestic abuse.

The last paragraph is phrased weird but i don’t know how to write it better so i hope it’s understandable.

That comic was patient zero in "oh my god other people see it too" for so many of us, I think. And yeah like you said it sticks very close to what happened taking into account tone of voice and everything. Adaptations of that sequence are like an almost surefire test to figure out what someone's interpretation of FH's relationship is and I think that's wonderful.

Big agree on the ranchers lore and I would argue Pearl's POV also has a similar effect where it forces you to acknowledge Scott not being the best ever. Funnily enough I watched the ranchers pov before the FH pov and didn't really see any of the post-FH horrors until I watched FH. I just kind of assumed when people said Tango was the first person who treated Jimmy as an equal they were putting "and Scott too but that was a season ago" in footnotes. But no they meant full-time and they'd be right lmao

My favourite example of Jimmy expecting the worst is this interaction he has with Bdubs where he essentially gets a bucket for free when the ranchers were struggling for iron and tells him to not tell Tango because he's scared he'll get yelled at. Like there is literally nothing Jimmy has done here that would be remotely considered reasonable to yell at him for but he's so afraid of having agency and making his own decisions at this point he just defaults to assuming his partner will be upset at him. (FYI I think this is more a result of how everyone treats him - Southlanders certainly did not help - but getting mad at Jimmy for doing literally anything except sit still was something Scott was especially privy to)

Don't worry I think your point was clear enough on that last paragraph, I kind of roll my eyes when people try to use distance as an excuse to justify why some dark topics are okay but others aren't, but I can't talk too much about this because I find it annoying and will probably end up saying something that feels mean lol.

Redirecting this once again to Bree's post about how hostile the language people use when talking about this discourse is to abuse victims e.g. "why can't you be NORMAL and write about NORMAL relationships and let them be NORMAL" which I think partially comes as a direct result of refusing to engage in abuse storylines and thus not being sympathetic to these portrayals or the people who write them.

And aside from that it's not even like. abuse and toxic relationships themselves are the issue sometimes. Obviously generalizing here a bit but I see a lot of the same people who find toxic fh "gross" gas up interpretations where Jimmy cheats on Scott or otherwise treats Scott horribly. Not to mention Pearl and her storyline getting turned into "girl who is mad gay man won't date her".

It just uh. sometimes feels as though the "grossness" is coming from a need to defend Scott's honour than a need to disengage with these themes entirely, which rubs me the wrong way.

(not to mention that I do think calling abuse storylines "gross" in of itself might have some unfun implications attached but I've said enough)

[h-doodles]

BREAKING MY SILENCE!!!

sorry im late but i was spamming one bestie with some more analysis thoughts on the borb while half scrolling through my fyp bc i do curate my experience ya know. BUT YOU GUYS. EVERYONE TAKE SEVERAL STEPS BACK AND A DEEP BREATH.

@oneginn I get your point and your post and I respect that, and I personally apologize for the boundaries that were set off with regards to some of my reblogs! I do recognize romanticizing toxic behaviors is BAD and a point of extreme concern, especially in real life! HOWEVER, at the same time, like you said! exploring and liking the darker themes are a thing, and fundamentally, people expressing their thoughts about it is part of the process, especially when writing about it in fiction. I believe that as long we do recognize the proper warnings AND DO give warnings, it's perfectly sane for people to post whatever in our personal blogs. Not to mention that while fiction has the ability to influence reality, some times fiction IS just fiction, and saying this from a place of love: IT'S NOT ALWAYS THAT DEEP. Sometimes the girlies just want some unhinged absolute gratitious smut, some girlies want the most heart wrenching traumatizing angst, some people want the most rancid and unhealthy parts to see how worse they can go, and some girlies want the soft slice of life absolute peaceful fluff AND that's why fiction is great, it can contain ANYTHING! Of course, it is still important to keep a critical lens on everything we read, but it's also important to keep in mind that it's a space where people can explore their boundaries SAFELY.

@shortstrawberry GIRL. when you said that i couldn't help but agree for a hot moment, bc EVERYONE needs a chill pill. But at the same time the arguement that it's just fiction isn't gonna cut it, bc there are too many flavors of fiction for people NOT to react. Thus, my earlier statements: that Fiction is a safe place to explore one's thoughts, no matter how dark it gets, but at the same time we have the responsibility in learning to recognize that there are still certain critical thinking we MUST do in order to properly handle such things. Not everyone is comfortable in what we create, and thus warnings need be applied. But otherwise, it's free real estate!!!

ALSO ough what anyone writes OR creates doesn't reflect their mental health or mental state!!!!!!!!! please you guys. sometimes exploring the possibilities is just that. EXPLORING. it doesn't mean the creator is a monster or a freak for making it. all content is a piece of artistic rendition, and just because the message is unpalatable to your senses doesnt mean it's garbage, nor of need to be censored. If you don't like it, simply click block and go!!!!!

As for the rest of the reblogs in the respective posts. Y'ALL. you dont WANT to start the kinkshaming discourse. But i'm on the side of NO kink shaming. As long as it's safe, sane, and consensual, who are YOU to judge the people involved? ... Don't forget the roots of the queer community. Our lifestyle was just kink to the majority then, and still is perceived by many conservatives as such. LEARN.

[superconductivebean]

#1118

Okey @infernalrusalka @limonnitsa, The Ficbооk Post. I think you @theladyofshalott1989 might be interested in reading this, too.

So.

While I was away, the site managed to up a mirror but still, its block is certainly a tragedy for the fanfiction written in Russiаn and Russiаn fandom in general. It's our history; and our queer history, too, despite the quality of the discourse ensuing over the years was as bad as you can remember from the LJ days (if you weren't around then or weren't catching up, recent аnti vs prо-shiр is basically the nth wave of it). However, the tragedy hasn't had its first act premiered today.

Or rather, yesterday. I fell asleep mid-writing.

Anyway.

Some will say, Ficbооk was doomed at its inception, June 22d, 2009. Unlike AO3, Ficbооk wasn't created from the ashes of the fanfiction archive purges. Its birth is attested to the state of the runet's fandom and social spaces in general and most importantly, runet didn't have its own fanfiction.net.

The Inception

Slowly, LJ was becoming an ad-riddled retirement house as the most prolific authors were moving to Facebook or building their own sites to work the work, leaving regular diary owners behind. Those, in turn, were either going off the site, or migrating to the wellbeloved Diаry.ru that embraced them with open arms as it did former forum dwellers. However, neither of those platforms was well-equipped for hosting fanfiction — or any work of literature whatsoever. Not that it was an impossible mission to publish anything at all but you must agree, the search function on those websites wouldn't bring up everything that was ever posted. Forums and blogs being what they were, the hoster could've and often did restrict certain topics thus an entire fandom group could be wiped one day. For runet, it wasn't something people only heard about; not many fandom spaces faced this treatment but for the Ficbооk admin and perhaps many others, it was enough.

So in the summer of 2009, the admin, Entrery, launched Ficbооk.

I must mention that Entrery was the admin for the early period of the site's life, selling it to the man named Kostya in 2014. Until that point in the site's history, I'm giving a short overview of the site and how people used to view it; consider 2009-2013 as an exposition to the entire drama.

Speaking of the runet fandom spaces, Diаry.ru, LJ (and numerous of its competitors like Yа.ru, LiveIntеrnet) and forums weren't the only platforms that existed then. Everyone knew Aeterna and Beon, but Aeterna was a quiz website, and Beon was a kid's version of LJ with sparkly graphics and bizarre public chats. There were also groups in vkоntаkte, оdnоklassniki and mоimir, plus, fandom websites on the ucоz engine. As an English-speaking fandom person, and I mean the one familiar with English-speaking fandom spaces, you'll quickly find equivalents to all of those; but keep in mind those are close matches.

At this point in time, runet had never had a platform dedicated to fanfiction, entirely. We only had General Publishing Websites. Those were:

paleolithic sаmlib. Seriously, just search it up and look at it;

prozа.ru, the one for the prose one;

there were few more of the less-known sites but not a single one dedicated for fanfiction besides blogs.

I think it's important to mention:

runet's queer culture is deeply rooted in fandom and subsequently in fanfic. it doesn't matter if GL novels are silly or funky those yaoi fanfictions if they are or were an augenblick realisation for people. boys can kiss boys. girls can do girls. it can be for real, in real life. im not going on a long tangent here but feel free to ask away.

Entrery wanted us to have a multifandom fanfiction archive. It ended up supporting original works as well as translations, poetry, meta but sadly, no artwork support. Even to an extent AO3 allows it, no. It did not really matter, though, albeit people were used to look at fandom websites and see sections for artworks, gifs, fanfiction, vids, forums, chats, guest rooms. Everyone accepted it, at some point. But before that would happen, Ficbооk's launch was met lukewarmly.

Entrery's project didn't create much of a hype for the fandom people.

The notable Diаry.ru was the site of, you know, clique behaviour. LJ users inhabiting it were rather supportive of it as well. Drama and the couloir games thrived in that community; locked blogs, userlists, do you remember that? People from there wanted Ficbооk to introduce exclusionary policies of any kind to keep those Beon and Aeterna children out of the site, saying kiddos needed to finish school at the very least before they could open Word and type any kind of fiction.

Entrery never did set any such policy, instead he let everyone in.

His project was quite literally an archive. Everyone could post and as there wasn't list-based access, there wasn't such a thing as posting exclusively for a certain number of people (with a subsequent drama of that posting being a spite-vague-fic written specifically for those who people used to call the rat-kun). However, Ficbооk had its own pits of despair: The Dislike Button and The Popular Of The Week.

Other things included:

edit records are kept for months. It was and is rather easy to work with betas and see what has been changed, although it could've been significantly improved by the time 2024 rolled around, back in 2009 it was fine as is;

Public Beta is a feature I think every single archive should have, it is a must. Imagine you spotted a typo but instead of going into the Edit Text and rewriting everything you just send yourself reports? and then run through them? fixing only those things that are easy, quick fixes?.. brb gonna cry;

drafts are kept indefinitely;

private and live chats;

User Moderation, a feature that has become the site's first flag for eventual downfall but until then, everyone's favourite pastime: it meant you would scroll through an endless flow of fanfiction and flag those works that violated the rules (then similar to AO3's TOS).

Many of those were largely unknown to the blog fandom people but social features, moderator status and ease of work were calling cards for those who weren't prejudiced or was in searches for a better place to be than — ahem — every platform in runet is infernal. There aren't any exceptions but while the new place hasn't developed any cliques, it's totally bearable.

What's 'moderator status'? If you were helping the site to filter out spammers and trolls, Entrery thought you needed to be rewarded somehow. It basically meant ad-free experience and all you needed for to achieve it was to successfully pass a test. Yours truly became a mod at 11 or 12 yo, to give you a gist of how trivial that test was. If you think I was an outlier, no, Ficbооk became a significant part of life of many fandom kiddos my age.

It's crucial to bear in mind because we were part of the reason the site faced prejudice and was constantly reprimanded for letting us punks in. No one believed a website where any child could post something wasn't full of children writing Investigation Discovery kind of fiction about their pixel anime dolls. Then, authors who somehow weren't children were thought to be people not able to write anything but trashy pulp. If your primary platform back then was Ficbооk, you would be told that you're either of those and you couldn't be neither.

Obviously, it wasn't true. But I will smother my nostalgia if I'm not mentioning Entrery's communication policies.

Bans weren't a thing unless you were a spammer. Comment removal wasn't a thing as well, you had to send reports and wait for the site mods — not content mods — to remove them for you but only if the mod deemed the comments inappropriate, too. In 2013, these things were introduced but wasn't it too late? Certainly was.

Aversion from receiving any kind of critique or criticism weren't an argument to bring up the table; you had to suck it up regardless of how stupid, blood-thirsty, or utterly brainded was that comment. Nor you could delete the consequences of a randomly opened floodgate.

Rules prohibited flooding and flaming but each site mod had their idea of what that entailed. Good luck to get everything you didn't need removed. Re-publishing the work wouldn't solve this. So yeah, bullies were thriving in that environment.

Any talk with the Support could turn a heated discussion because those people, including Entrery, did not know tact nor they had any awareness regarding how to work thousands of people. They would dismiss you, be rude to you, they would never listen.

Later, this prompted Entrery to think the site's userbase was a bunch of grown manchildren Who Certainly Knew Better aka if you told him the search could use some improvements and perhaps more tags, that would be called something in the fashion of We Aren't Turning The Site Into A Kink Encyclopedia. Yes, Entrery, I still remember this and will take that to my grave idc if it was 10 years ago.

Long story short, Entrery created a pit of infernality we all grew to love at some point. In the best post-U2SR tradition, we weren't really presented a choice; It was this or nothing but Diаry.ru's stuck-up bitches or LJ's grandparents calling you a sweet summer child.

I will mention these two fandom population were known for writing the Big Game Of Albus Dumbledore theory and asking questions such as Will I Be Able To Fuck Someone After Ripping Their Spine Cord Off Their Body And Will They Be Able To Feel Everything Still🤔? After reading threads like this I'm practically emotionally immune to whatever people can put up online. They, too, were deranged.

Fandom Kоmbat

Rocky start gravely injured Ficbооk in the management department but we were yet to realise this in the sweet sweet years of 2010-2011. The site grew in popularity, some authors were becoming popular — everyone didn't just know their names, they could easily look them up in the Popular Authors section.

This feature was originally planned to be a kind of motivation for the people to write more and compete against each other. To keep the engagement numbers up. To build a community. What could possibly go wrong (tldr; turned out the dislike button was an excellent tool for bullies to live someone off the platform hence it was disabled, 2012).

The community around the site's popular fanfics, originals & authors was toxic beyond comprehension, as you can imagine. People were doxxing each other, submitting dirt to the Confession Page, ripping apart the most popular works, building up the site's user stereotypes and documenting history in memes. The usual gist of things in every community; except runet being an infernal thing it is, it was viciously cruel. Some attribute it to the generational trauma, I personally think we are stuck living in the slum fiction, but anyway, by the time 2013 rolled around, the site was alive as ever. Even the Apocalypse of 2012 didn't crash its spirits, instead it busted the sense of community in its users for the first — and only — time in the website's entire history.

In December of 2012 the server fucking died and took an entire month worth of data with it.

However, 2013 was also the time of this Old Ficbооk — a pool of toxic brine — beginning to dissolve. Everything we were used in 2011-2012 suddenly wasn't there. Old heroes faded, new figures were aririsng. But they were becoming increasingly more local and less known to the general public.

And then, came the people from Diаry.ru. Fandom Kоmbat writers.

You could see these people, too. Ever seen a titled that looked like this?

WTF [Fandom Name] - 20XX

That's Fandom Kоmbat event. It's held twice a year, every fandom can participate, for those who are unlucky to have one can write for multifandom Kombat teams. Amazing thing, English fandom could never, honest. I'm rather bashful of Diаry.ru but I'm ready to forgive them a lot for this event's inception alone. Anyway. The event had (and it has) an annual crop of fanfics and original works and at some point — 2014, but first harbingers flew in 2013 — people needed a safe place to store their work.

Ficbооk claimed to be operating from Latvia, Riga. So people flocked to the .net domain from a seemed-finicky .ru, hoping it will protect their work from a potential deletion.

It brought many people to the website and eliminated many past problems it had. Diаry.ru bitches spat critics in their faces and called them out on being cheap good-for-nothing egomaniacs, didn't tolerate usual Ficbооk bs and could destroy anyone. Besides, they were wonderful writers and aspirational models for many writers.

However.

Communication Breakdown. Act 1

2014 was the year of unanswered questions, constant server issues and mad commenting.

Ficbооk was about to turn 5 years this year but it was stuck in its development. Changes were minor at best but and rare gems could not sweeten the sad realisation the website wasn't interested in any kind of conversation with its users.

What's the point of having the best bookmark system among all fanfiction sites and pride itself on having built-in request pool if the servers are crashing down every evening and the admins wouldn't hear any ideas on how to improve social experience, fix the search, add any kind of limited CSS support, fix co-author feature, etc etc.

If you recall, 2014 was the year The War began. Draconian laws were passed along with it. Ficbооk had to be complaint, promptly banning all underage (=the police cares more about pixels because it's easier than solving real cases => don't push your law enforcement to fight pixel hurters, I beg of you, don't be stupid) but for whatever reason, everything queer remained in a relative safety — until 10 years later.

Deaf to complaints, refusing to talk, thinking everything's done and not done was not in vain, Entrery perhaps grew tired of us. Diary.ru was worried more than we did, however, and they were the most interested party in improving Ficbооk's UX; and they were especially curious about Entrery's desire to keep the underage change rather hidden, besides, there was another new rule set.

On Ficbооk, you can't write about real life tragedies until 6 months will pass — or the tragedy would end, and then, 6 month later, you can begin posting something about it. Wild policy.

Nothing has been done, and in the very end of 2014—early 2015 the site was sold to Him. Quietly. Nobody knew until years later.

Kostya. Act 2

All previous problems weren't ever addressed, and people began to grow weary of the site's stagnation. 2015, 2016, 2017 were years of eerie quietness. Everyone thought Ficbооk might die soon because the only signs of life we had had seen were increasing numbers of ads and rarely, major updates, such as the design revamp.

Remember I said The User Moderation was a precursor of doom?

At some point in between 2014 and 2016 the moderation's main perk — no ads — was challenged by the update where a new feature was introduced. That feature was 'acquire 100 kudos and see no ads'.

Kostya, now the admin, decided the content mods needed to be compensated somehow else. Thus he introduced Coins. Not the cryptocoins, the in-site currency. With it, you could buy in-site gifts, change you nickname, stuff like that. Certain amount of the approved moderation decisions converted into 1 Coin.

For many, moderation thus turned mindless tippy-tapping just to get a huge portion of them.

It quite literally broke site's economy, so to fight it, this genius man began thinking of a number of premium features. Coins were turned into an in-site purchase; moderation was promptly disabled and was never reinstated as its own, separate, currency-free feature.

Nobody really minded it at the time, however.

Moderation was a remnant of Ye Olden Days, many old users were gone for good, and old farts like me at the time were considering other places to move to in case Ficbооk would go under.

Premium Accounts. Act 3

During 2017, 2018 and 2019, while site's functionality remained the same, Kostya tried to implement various paywalls.

2017 was the year when fests were implemented. Basically, you'd submit your work to receive 3 comments but in exchange, you'd have to comment on 3 random works in the same genre. It was fun. While it lasted.

The system required improvements and new features, rulesets and other things, but instead of working on it, the feature existed as is until in late 2018—early 2019 it was removed for good. Individual groups of writers and readers alike tried to keep the idea afloat but many of them either died out, or turned cliques.

Meanwhile, Kostya was filling the site with ads, tried to make the 'online' status behind the paywall, and although he changed it later to be available for everyone, things like basic customisation, detailed stats and custom fandom feeds went behind the paywall.

If I remember, 2019 was also the year of introducing covers. Also a paywall feature.

In that same time window we also saw the inception of the new work selection, The Hotties. It's a separate feed in every fandom where you can place a work for a humble price sum-for-views-amount.

With no social activity, but ads and general sense of people actively leaving the site, Ficbооk looked as grim and sad as ever.

Clicks Clicks Clicks. Act 4

2019 and 2020 were years of investigations. Long stories shortened, Ficbook made six digit number in ad revenue. I'm no stranger to how a business would allocate funds but Ficbook didn't see any money put into its development. Same features for so a lot of years, no ad campaigns, no socmed presence, no moderation on its public pages mane of which were abandoned.

Seeing this made people to turn away from the site for good. I was among them. There was no future, only the consequences of an one greedy man actions.

Kostya perhaps felt proud in making the UX unbearable. Everything is designed to keep you at the site for as long as possible. Modern site-building wants you to either look at the front page, or browse quickly to find what you're looking for, because faster looks means more buys and calls. Ficbооk, living off the ads, couldn't afford that.

It wants you to stay everywhere. You can't click away on the link to another site. It will ask you for confirmation. Moreover, it places ads in text, in headers, in footers, in comments and masks its ads as the comments; every free space is used to be filled with an ad like they do on every single shady website, e.g. those for gamblers.

When people are this obsessed with money, they will do anything.

Fake Riga. Act 5

Ficbооk now is a child of greed and love malnutrition.

In 2021, Kostya introduced Promo slots. Your work would be added to the daily roster at a certain date so people could stumble upon it on the site's front page. Later, this roster will invade other pages of the site. Overall, this year was uneventful and quiet, if you don't count the socmed where the admins finally learnt you can ban duraks ebanyis.

Anyway.

You are all aware of the '22.

And what do you think Kostya did?

Quietly, in the dead of the night, he purged our hopes in being safe on that hellsite. He sold us out. All of us. There his loyalties lied, and as it often goes with fleabags like him, he hoped he would save his business this way. And what does it cost to give out someone's info.

Correct, nothing.

Business people here have no dignity. He doesn't either.

So people stood up, purged their works, and left.

Its Ban Our Comedy

Ficbооk never allowed multilingual posting. It naturally drove away not just English-speaking folks, a rather rare sight in runet, but all the people speaking other languages. I'm not asking a fanfiction website to be a linguistic treasure trove but it did a lot to the queer history and online history here, and 'here' includes more than one language.

Evidently, it meant Ficbооk would eventually give a cold shoulder to anyone hoping their favourite escape will have them a safe retreat.

Instead, it spat them in the face.

That little number of us who hoped something might work out from Ficbооk and supposedly Kostya being in the EU; we were shattered to know this moron valued his digits more than everything we built, had and could have. This site wasn't ever his creation yet he claimed to be its admin since its inception. I mean. No words. Only swearing.

Kostya tried to handle the situation but no damage control business he is, when he reverted the Private Info Disclosure section back to how it was before, it was already too late.

Few days ago, the site has been officially banned.

It was impossible to avoid. Either up a mirror, or teach people how to circumvent the blockage. That it took two whole years was a result of a scheme of Kostya's (he was turning links into gibberish).

Kostya saved himself enough time to, perhaps, sip off enough gold from this dying cow to soon close the site down — a long page of our Internet history — because he doesn't care, and never did. Or this all would've been prevented. I might be wrong and pessimistic but I lost all my hopes for this place many years ago now to ever rekindle it.

To Conclude

I'm evidently sad about the site's demise. But I'm happy this bloody arsehole may perhaps loose his income and as he's entangled, more than this. We live an infernal life here; he should've never come.

[meetthesoldier]

hi sorry this is outta nowhere but i would love to hear ur thoughts on harry (phone

SORRY ANON I LEGIT FORGOT ABT THIS ASK and im too lazy to draw her fr so heres some fanart i drew of her dying in a glue trap

this time i have a bit more thoughts on her as an actual character so ill start w that before the headcanon dump ... also, throughout this post ill be referring to her w she/her pronouns because of a personal headcanon im VERY attached to. all i ask is any rbs or further questions abt my specific vision of her use those same pronouns... in others posts i do not care obviously. also, this post is specifically abt her in the dsaf universe since shes far more substantial there.

firstly, i should say i ADORE harry. she is one of my biggest comfort characters in a series where almost everybody is one for me. so when i give any criticisms, know its out of love and a wish for some more expansive writing rather than any malice. being critical of media you love is important, etc etc.

my biggest issues with her character really boils down to the lack of acknowledgement abt her being physically disabled. she mentions having a "bad leg" during 3, but its ONLY mentioned that one time, during (i believe) missable dialogue. i understand her not using, like, mobility aids for it since it may be difficult to find suitable stock images (+ all the phonies in that game use the same photos for their bodies, and its totally possible its not something she feels she needs), but it probably shouldve been mentioned or expanded upon more.

i dont believe were given any explanation on how her leg ended up the way it is, or in what way it is. we dont know if she was born with her disability or aquired it later. we dont know if its paralyzed, we dont know if its because of a muscular dystrophy, or anything else. i just wish we were given more info, bcus as it is, it is REALLY easy to look over in favor of, say, her ptsd.

speaking of which, i have some mixed feelings on how her ptsd is portrayed. on one hand, the joke in the restaurant reviews abt her having flashbacks and a subsequent panic attack feels very distasteful, though thankfully this is (i believe) the only instance of this kind of joke at her expense. im glad elsewise it isnt some huge , controlling part of her character - however, again, it IS missable. while one can assume she has it when she discusses her past, i dont believe its explicitly stated UNTIL that review.

tldr; her disability feels poorly handled, mostly from lack of expansion and discussion.

thankfully, though, she is elsewise a very enjoyable character; shes got some really good and funny dialogue, the exposition we get from her about the original managers is really fucking good, and i really wish we heard more abt her experience working with rebecca (and presumably roger)... again, her biggest issues are just not having as much of a spotlight on her as she couldve, but considering the employees arent really the main focus of the game that may be fine actually...

(as an aside, i think about this post every day and cry audibly.)

thus ends the longform musings, onto the silly headcanons;

standard fare queer headcanon dump: trans woman + demisexual lesbian. also, polyamorous. fuck yeah baby steak (ref)

was in a queerplatonic relationship with joe while he was alive, and a romantic one with both tango/terrence (who has some gender fuckery going on as well) and rebecca because i am not immune to homemade lesbianism.

has ptsd in canon, but im adding a "c" in front of that cause aint no way she lived through all of her coworkers (and presumably FRIENDS) dying in such horrific ways and was only affected in the short-term.

autistic! specifically also has the thing i do where i need the time to be a multiple of 5 before i can start doing anything. also has generalized anxiety i think, with a tendency to catastrophize and compensates by insisting to herself everything is toootally fine. definitely NOT going to have a breakdown rn because shes not totally sure that that vending machine is 100% not going to fall on her specifically

probably didnt have many friends as a kid (L) so now she overcompensates by trying to be as charming and polite as possible. wether or not this works in her favor or makes her seem pretentious is a coinflip. (its certainly working on me though!)

has a real soft spot for random niche animals. probably a big salamander and gecko girl. her favorite is the marbled salamander because its cute as hell

slightly off topic everyday i think of how fucking horrific it mustve been for joe to come into work one morning and his best friend just has a phone for a head and extreme memory issues now . literally what the fuck. thats so fucked up

to do a tonal 180... if she was a pokemon trainer shed have a herdier or stoutland as a sort of service dog for walking shorter-medium distances when she rlly doesnt feel like whipping out the cane :.-)

shes so pale its actually ridiculous. bro looks like she hasnt seen the sun in 5 years ... jake pokes a bit of fun for it sometimes

thanks for asking, anon! i love getting excuses to talk about dsaf. i have a lot of thoughts, you know... dont ever friend me on discord my ass will randomly drop either the goofiest or angstiest headcanons at random intervals and i have no real control over whichor when it will be

[mizuphae]

so im asian and queer, and this is a topic that i’ve been thinking about ever since i saw people getting upset about tommy being welcomed back.

in my eyes, the racism plot doesn’t not need to be discussed further. it’s been shown that tommy was merely following the crowd, and while that is definitely still wrong and cowardly, it likely was not a result of him being super racist. he has likely grown as a person since then.

additionally, we do not have eyes on his interactions all the time and have all of the facts about how he is affecting others, so we need to rely on the other characters’ behavior to know where we stand with tommy. thus, hen and chim.

hen and chim clearly think he is a good guy now, enough to call him up for favors, be chill with him showing up to a wedding, and more. please trust them, as POC to tell you if tommy is a bad guy. if hen and chim are these great people, then they would not be friendly with a racist asshole. if you think that they are ok with tommy being racist, then you should be complaining about them too!

i have and will drop peers immediately if they are racist, homophobic, etc, and i hope hen and chim would too.

not everything should be obviously spelled out, or else that would just be bad writing. please read the atmosphere and use the characters and their interactions for context to guide you.

hey im a white queer so maybe im calling a spade a spade but bucktommy feels like such a white gay ship. like we made the attractive white guys kiss so lets pretend the racism plot was resolved offscreen.

[valzhangs]

What are your lgbt headcanons for the pjo characters?

ok so!!

percy: he's trans and he's bi. bc im trans and im bi. i have trans headcanon post for him, but as far as his being bi goes, it takes him a lot longer to figure out than it should. he like, is aware of the fact that he's into men in a rlly weird surface level where he doesnt acknowledge it makes him Not Straight.

percy: who WOULDNT wanna kiss a homie?

annabeth: bi as fuck, <women3, is a disaster in flirting regardless of gender. she knows she's bi by the time she's like 15, although she spends some time there thinking she's a lesbian bc she's unaware bisexuality is an option.

annabeth: haha what if i was gay bc no i didnt bc yes i am bc no i did not. people. can you be gay and still like men

silena:.... bi??

annabeth: oi what the fuck

jason: he's a homophobic gay. we dont talk about the relationship™. struggled with comphet. every other week i switch to a bi headcanon for me so if you see me calling him bi no you didnt.

piper: trans lesbian. she, like percy, is on puberty blockers and bc of a supportive dad, figuring it out early on and being rich as fuck, her transition goes far more smoothly than others. she, however, spends many years thinking that in order to be a "real woman" she must be into men and so comphet is a thing™, thus the relationship we dont talk about. her and jason and gay besties now.

no one

piper: ahahaha yes men. they have. pretty eyes.

leo: i wildly switch between gay and aro for xyr sexuality headcanon. i also wildly switch between amab enby and transmasc. either way he's not romantically into women, and he's not cis. generally i use he/xe pronouns for xem.

leo 🤝 piper

hahaha yes.... the opposite gender.... who i am attracted to....

frank: transmasc nonbinary, they/he pronouns, also i switch between pan and gay for his sexuality headcanon, currently i say pan. anyways they only rlly realized they were trans when they were 14, even so it took a while to both accept it and stop feeling like he was faking it. he came out when he was 15, with his mom's death and everything his life had kind of snowballed and so he kind of screamed it at grandma zhang. he had already picked out frank for himself by then. as far as sexuality goes, he was already pretty sure of their attraction to all genders they realized they were trans.

hazel: lesbian, dating lacy, literally the softest out there and always knew she wasnt into men. but also badass as fuck, stan hazel.

WHILE ON THE TOPIC: lacy: very bi, lean towards men generally, also a trans girl

silena: pan as fuck, had a crush on clarisse because ruegard rights.

clarisse: bi and ace, [also "bi, fly and ready to die"]

i have my mitchell headcanons post, love that bi baby.

miranda: t/t nonbinary, lesbian, also not lgbt related but theyre yoreme (indigenous people in northern mexico)

charlie beckendorf: trans & bi. he is also like, THE person youd go to if you needed advice on gender identity related things.

grover: that boy invented pansexuality and we all love him.

rachel: aroace, she/her nonbinary

lou ellen; no gender only lesbian (any pronouns)

dakota: no gender only gay (also any pronouns)

n e ways thats all i have for now, stay tuned for more

[tetranocturne]

I've noticed you make a lot of male characters that wear female clothing or are really effeminate without there being a trans edge. I'm not accusing you of anything, I really love it, but I'm curious why that is?

YOU KNOW I THINK ABOUT THIS A LOT ACTUALLY. you don’t know what can of worms you just opened up LMAO

i often look at my characters and go ‘huh this is kinda a trend, isn’t it?’ even when i was a wee youngin, i was just so thrilled with the idea of men being effeminate, even though it was usually played for jokes wherever i saw it. the short version is that something about effeminate men just make me really happy, and the long version... 

well. it’s gonna be LONG. so please bear with me

and as a disclaimer, i don’t love gendered words like effeminate and masculine, or referring to clothes as specifically female and male, and i know ftm is an outdated term, but its just way easier to explain everything this way, so i apologize

anyways- long explanation under the cut!

looking back, i can see that a lot of that was because back in the day, male characters being super effeminate was kind of the big marker of that character being gay or trans (albeit not actual representation), and so it was 100% me exploring what sexuality and gender means to me, and i think a simple answer would be.. i’ve just clung onto it all the way into adulthood because it means something really special to me

i eventually grew older and realized that a lot of those characters i loved so much were harmful stereotypes made by cishet people so they can point and laugh, but no matter how harmful they were, characters like this still meant a lot to me because they were my first real lgbt experiences. my parents never told me anything, so these stereotypes were kind of.. all i had? so it was really hard not to latch on. like, i’ve always had male characters that dress feminine, for as long as i realized i could do that, and the idea of stopping just.. didn’t seem right, especially after i realized that i wasnt cis or straight. after that, it really clicked with me. it was self-exploration, self-expression

i didnt really get TOO many weird reactions from my friends, which i’m very thankful for, but a lot of people in my life either didnt get why i kept drawing characters like this and told me it was weird, or they very actively disliked it. it made me feel.. embarrassed i guess? ashamed? it made me only explore these things in my art, and never with myself

i’m a firm believer that your clothes don’t have gender, and that people can dress however they’d like, regardless of their gender and how they present, but as a trans man who’s been around people (including my parents) who scoff at the idea of a man in a dress... it’s just hard to give myself permission. it’s not hard to give my characters permission, though. my family still doesn’t get it, and that’s one of the reasons i don’t show them characters like.. mel, magpie, carrie, haru, estee, yoichi, or whoever else. but its safe to put them here. i can just say “heres my character” and people say “great! i love him!” without even MENTIONING that he’s wearing a dress or a crop top and it’s just such a validating experience

now, as for why the characters don’t really have a trans ‘edge’? that’s kind of tricky, because they do! along with some being nb and a few even being ftm, they’re pretty much ALL meant to be read as trans, regardless of if they’re actually trans or not

let me explain-- these characters are a piece of me, and thus, they reflect my experiences and desires. they’re meant to be seen through a trans lens without being trans. as in, despite my own desire to be physically indistinguishable from a cis man, i wouldn’t want to give up my experiences as a trans man mentally. and these characters sort of reflect that. i have a few characters who, in the contexts of their stories, are actually trans, as in being legitimately nonbinary or ftm, because those also have to do with my own experience and my pride, but for the most part? effectively ‘cis’ men with trans mentalities and experiences is just what feels the best for me to write and draw. that’s all there really is to it. it feels good to me

in my characters, i get to live out my dreams of looking cis, while maintaining trans narratives and including an important aspect of my childhood as a queer person who deeply loved characters like..... envy from fma, haku from naruto, hana from tokyo godfathers, him from ppg, jareth from labyrinth, frank-n-further from rocky horror, james from pokemon, grell from kuroshitsuji (im honest to god so fucking sorry for making you remember kuroshit), and so on so forth. no matter how harmful a lot of these characters may be as horrible gay/trans/queer stereotypes, as someone who didn’t really grow up with proper representation, they just meant a lot to me

this is all just a long-winded way of saying... it feels homey. this is what’s comfortable for me and makes me happy

[poemsforpersephone]

The third and final book rec list for fans of The Last Sun!

The Infinite Noise by Lauren Shippen has really cool empathy powers which, although not the two way bond Brand and Rune share, does remind me of the emotion reading aspect in TLS. The m/m relationship in it is also super sweet. 

The Gentleman’s Guide to Vice and Virtue by Mackenzie Lee. This one I’m recommending because the protagonist is a snarky asshole just like Rune, and the writing style is so well done. It’s m/m and genuinely such a fun and quirky book. Also the cover art is gorgeous!

Silver in the wood by Emily Tesh. This is an LGBT novella where a wild man called Tobias lives in a place called “Greenhollow,” , where, and I quote, “Old secrets better left buried are dug up, and Tobias is forced to reckon with his troubled past—both the green magic of the woods, and the dark things that rest in its heart.” So im recommending this one simply because of the involvement of secrets and troubled pasts haha. 

Gideon the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir. The front cover of this one gives me The Hanged Man vibes like, all the way to the bone, which is initially what prompted me to rec it on this list. But also: “Gideon has a sword, some dirty magazines, and no more time for undead bullshit.” Idk about the dirty magazines but the rest of it scREAMS Rune. and the main character is a lesbian!!! yay!! 

The Black Veins by Ashia Monet. “In a world where magic thrives in secret city corners, a group of magicians embark on a road trip—and it’s the "no-love-interest", found family adventure you’ve been searching for.” It’s like someone looked into my heart and picked out my deepest desire and then wrote it and gave it life. This book is super diverse and super awesome. 

The Deathless Girls by Kiran Millwood Hargrave is a f/f take on Dracula basically. I’m recommending it because the main character and her sister go through a traumatic event similar to the loss of the sun court, when men come and burn their home to the ground along with their people and they’re captured and taken as slaves. It’s about family, friendship and survival, and it’s beautiful. 

The Never Tilting World by Rin Chupeco. An LGBT book where climate change deniers are the villains? ... you have my atttention. 

Prosper’s Demon by K.J. Parker. This is about a morally questionable exorcist!  It’s a satirical, interesting take on the topic of possession with a kick ass cover. 

The Wishing Heart by J.C Welker. An LGBT fantasy novel where our protag, Rebel, finds a jinni’s vessel and is thus thrust into a whole new world of trying to keep said jinni from everyone else and find a way to free her! The world building is awesome and so are the characters.

Tarnished are the Stars by Rosiee Thor. “A secret beats inside Anna Thatcher's chest: an illegal clockwork heart. Anna works cog by cog -- donning the moniker Technician -- to supply black market medical technology to the sick and injured, against the Commissioner's tyrannical laws.” i have the hardbook version of this and the cover??? is so?? beautiful.

The Weight of the Stars by K. Ancrum. TALKING OF PRETTY COVERS. “Ryann Bird dreams of traveling across the stars. But a career in space isn’t an option for a girl who lives in a trailer park on the wrong side of town. So Ryann becomes her circumstances and settles for acting out and skipping school to hang out with her delinquent friends.”

Predatory by Brooklyn Ray. WERELEOPARDS FRIENDS!!!! god damn wereleopards im?? so happy. m/m 

The Lost Coast by Amy Rose Capetta. FOUND FAMILY QUEER WITCHES. need i say more. 

Portraits of a Faerie Queen by Tay LaRoi. The fey run amok in this one! f/f with a gorgeous front cover.

Unbroken by Brooklyn Ray. step 1: rent haunted house. step 2: fall in love with witch-turned-demon who inhabits it. step 3: profit???

The High King’s Golden Tongue by Megan Derr. This one is lovely! Nice world building with an emphasis on languages and kingdoms, and a lovely m/m romance that builds from kind-of-enemies-but-not-really to lovers. the audiobook of this is great. 

Salt Magic, Skin Magic by Lee Welch. SORRY YOUR BOOK IS SET WHERE? MY HOMELAND? MY COUNTRY MY COUNTY MY HEART? we never get any attention imma go cry in the corner. its a historical fantasy m/m romance in YORKSHIRE gosh im here for it. And let me tell you... this is one fantastic book. I really, really enjoyed it.

Swordspoint by Ellen Kushner. fantasy, m/m, lotsa swords!

Of Fire and Stars by Audrey Coulthurst. f/f fantasy with a princess who has fire magic in a kingdom where magic is forbidden! 

Freedom’s Fate by Jennie Taylor. SPAAAAAAACE i love books in space.

Pegasi and Prefects by Eleanor Beresford. “Charley's final year at Fernleigh Manor is complicated by a runaway pegasus, unwanted Games Captainship, a dangerous new rival and, most of all, falling head over heels in love with another girl. What is a reluctant Senior Prefect to do?” catch me while i swoon.

The Necromancers Dance by SJ Himes. m/m vampire/necromancer romance, urban magic and fantasy, very fun and smooth read, a little bit insta love but not totally. 

The Star Host by F.T. Lukens. “Ren grew up listening to his mother tell stories about the Star Hosts – a mythical group of people possessed by the power of the stars.” a m/m fantasy book set to a sci fi fantasy background.

Empty Vessels by Nicholas Williams. “Lucas Mahler babysits clones all day, but he's trapped under the legacy of his body-builder father and his genius girlfriend. When Lucas tries to rise above, he's murdered. Waking up in the body of a clone, Lucas embarks on a mystery full of blood, old friends and lost loves.” idk the whole clone thing in this just always reminds me of lord tower making all the different fake versions of people he knows lmao. 

BOOKS NOT YET OUT

So, the thing is. 2020 is very close friends, and some awesome books are even closer. These below are books I’ve not read yet, since they’re not out and I am a poor ARCless girl, but they’re books you definitely want to keep an eye on.

Witches of Ash and Ruin by E. Latimer. Bisexual OCD protagonist who is a witch D: its everything i could want. 

Wild Sky by Zaya Feli. LGBT fantasy with dragons! It sounds so, so fun.

Girl, Serpent, Thorn by Melissa Bashardoust. “A captivating and utterly original fairy tale about a girl cursed to be poisonous to the touch, and who discovers what power might lie in such a curse...”

The Fascinators by Andrew Eliopulos. “The Raven Boys meets Simon vs. the Homo Sapiens Agenda, about an openly gay high school senior in small-town Georgia.” m/m fantasy which looks super sweet.

Cemetery Boys by Auden Thomas. “Yadriel has summoned a ghost, and now he can’t get rid of him.” THIS SOUNDS SO COOL oh my god. Yes PLEASE. 

When We Were Magic by Sarah Gailey. “A sly, witchy dark comedy about four teens whose magic goes wildly awry.” Magic, darkness, comedy, what’s not to love for fans of the tarot sequence??

The Extraordinaries by T.J. Klune. I absolutely love T.J.  Klune’s writing so I can’t wait to get my hands on this. m/m superheros!! friends!!! get excited!! I think anyone who likes how witty K.D. is will enjoy this writing style. 

The House in the Cerulean Sea by T.J. Klune. YES ANOTHER ONE this looks so good too we are BLESSED. “A magical island. A dangerous task. A burning secret.”

Fragile Remedy by Maria Ingrande Mora. “Sixteen-year-old Nate is a GEM—Genetically Engineered Medi-tissue created by the scientists of Gathos City as a cure for the elite from the fatal lung rot ravaging the population. As a child, he was smuggled out of the laboratory where he was held captive and into the Withers—a quarantined, lawless region.” The idea of the Withers kind of reminds me of the westlands.

The Fell of Dark by Caleb Roehrig. UHM im always here for lgbt vampires in young adult fantasy fiction. The author says that “this book is gay and filled with monsters” which also fits the last sun so i figured it belongs on the list lmao. 

Ruinsong by Julia Ember. “In a world where magic is sung, a powerful mage named Cadence is forced to use her power to torture her country’s disgraced nobility at her ruthless queen’s bidding.”

[oookaline]

A response to this tweet:

https://twitter.com/LETMEVOL6/status/1318301718610923520?s=19

"ok. i’m bout to ask a question to the larries. yalls whole argument is that simon and modest are homophobic right? please explain to me how Harry got away with being such a strong advocate for the LGBTQ+ community while being in One Direction? Why was harry the only one dropping hints on his sexuality. if they were so dead set on pushing this heterosexual narrative onto the boys then how did Harry get away with the things that he did? harry was dropping hints at his attraction to males. no, not with over analyzed song lyrics. i mean dead ass saying it. I genuinely want to know because Harry‘s been out of the closet for years now .y’all claim that Louis is closete. Harry managed to get out of the “evil clutches of Simon Cowell“ what stopping Louis and doing the same? unless this whole Larry theory was a lie and y’all were bored like, can someone please tell me why that happened? if Harry is allowed to be so open about his sexuality what stopping louis? if Harry got away from Simon would stopping in Louis they all have the same opportunity Harry may be the richest member but Louis can’t be that far back so tell me how did Harry manage to get away and be so open about his attraction of males and louis didn’t? i genuinely don’t get that."

Harry has been refering to his partner as gender neutral since forever, its not something he dropped hints on.

Not only that you have to also consider the narratives management pushed upon each of them aswell: Ima try to do a brief summary on H and Lou only, as this is reffered to Larries.

Louis: Perfect Boyfriend, a stable girlfriend throughout the years, influencer pretty girlfriend, no background on her so no backlash, constant papwalks on them and the occasional 'theyre toguether' tweets. Literally what it would be normalized as a happy relationship.

Harry: Fuck Boy, dated a lot of people, womaniser, headlines every week linking him to a new person, kendall, Taylor, Caroline etc, all big names yet all stunts, papwalks, 18 months of dating or interaction then never talked about again, the boy to wisk you away to a magical night then leave you the next morning.

Now taking these both you can see they are very different narratives, thus enabling them for two very distinctive ways to hinting at their sexuality with us.

Louis due to stunt reasons had to make his love songs (or his songs overall) seem like they hint at a specific girl, eleanor. Building up on the narrative they've had over the years. So while he can't directly call out his 'perfect woman' in gender neutral pronouns like Harry does, he CAN on the other hand choose what he specifies her as: a good chef, long brown hair paired with a british accent.

Very specific things that very obviously link to Harry while making press and hets think its towards Eleanor.

That one interview which didn't air where Louis said he had a boyfriend...

But this is just verbal. Lyric whise Louis has been more open and smart then anyone I've ever listened to-

The lyrics directly paralleling gay relationship, the struggles, the fear of not being able to be with them... Everything that a Heterosexual reletionship would NEVER experience. A few examples:

→Alive - One Direction (Louis) MM

"My mama told me I should go and get some therapy"

"I asked the doctor, "can you find out what is wrong with me? I don't know why I wanna be with every girl I meet"

"I can't control it"

"She said, "hey, it's alright Does it make you feel alive?"

"We got to live before we get older. Do what we like, we got nothing to lose. Shake off the weight of the world from your shoulders. Oh, we got nothing to prove"

"Went to a party just after the doctor talked to me, I met a girl, I took her in up to the balcony, I whispered something in her ear that I just can't repeat, She said, "okay" but she was worried what her friends will think"

This whole song is about questioning you sexuality and realizing you like the same sex.

Read over the lyrics and change:

girl - boy

she/her - he/him

and you'll see what I mean

→End Of The Day (Louis and Liam) MITAM

"Love can be frightening for sure"

"All I know at the end of the day is you want what you want and you say what you say, And you'll follow your heart even though it'll break, Sometimes"

"All I know at the end of the day is love who you love, There ain't no other way, If there's something I've learnt from a million mistakes, You're the one that I want at the end of the day"

"The priest thinks it's the devil, My mum thinks it's the flu, But girl it's only you"

"When the sun goes I know that you and me and everything will be alright, And when the city's sleeping, you and I can stay awake and keep on dreaming"

this whole song (apart from that one "girl") is just a huge gay awakening. If you keep the girl its a wlw anthem then.

some more exaples from scattered songs:

"There's a moment when you finally realize, There's no way you can change the rolling tide" -Ready To Run

"There will always be the kind that criticize, But I know, yes I know we'll be alright" -Ready To Run

"Told myself I kind of liked her, But there was something missing in her eyes" -Home

"I was stumbling, looking in the dark , With an empty heart, But you say you feel the same"-Home

"Still high with a little feeling, I see the smile as it starts to creep in, It was there, I saw it in your eyes" -Home

"But I know you're only hiding, And I just wanna see you" -Through The Dark

"And I can see your head is held in shame, But I just wanna see you smile again" -Through The Dark

"And I will hold you closer, Hope your heart is strong enough" -Through the dark

"People say we shouldn't be together, We're too young to know about forever" -TDKAU

"They don't know about the things we do, They don't know about the "I love yous"-TDKAU

these are just some out of the many Louis wrote. You can see where I'm going with it now.

and im not even going to touch i to all the shading Louis did with his clothes, tattoos, actions etc...

Now, Harry 'got away' with those actions because of various reasons, but I wouldn't say that he got away, I'd call it more of a "You stop me from doing this we will get backlash for possible homophobia and then y'all lose money so suck it up fuckers we're going on a rainbow ride" which is true; Yes, Harry did always refer to his ideal partner in gender neutral forms, but during the rainbow direction project was when he really amped it up so he could always go with the casual "I'm just supporting my fans, there's no harm in that" when confronted about it, which includes him waving the flags around and all the other stuff.

But it also seems you all are forgetting about how along with all the Queer!Harry we got, we also got more and more headlines of Wom!Harry, more stunts and etc: 5 different official relationships (not counting Kendal twice, which would make 6) between late 2014-early 2016 ALSO NOT COUNTING RUMOURED GIRLFRIENDS which then would make the list go so much higher, Harry couldn't before and still can't hang out with WOMEN or else there will be rumours of them dating.

And this doesn't happen with Men :/ He can hang put with multiple men, and there probably will be barelly one and a half articles written about it -only by small outlets- which in comparison to when he is seen hanging our with a 'mysterious woman' we'll get hundreds of articles about it in a span of an hour.

So what I'm trying to say is that sadly he can still call his ideal partner a he and be seen kissing a guy that the media probably will focus on the chick on the background and write an article like "Harry Styles seen out with friends in LA and he seemed extra cozy with mysterious blonde".

But again, the same with Louis, he hints at us about his sexuality so much, be it us the only one who properly listens to him.

With his songs and the flags and the pins and everything.

Here's some of his lyrics from the Oned era:

"We were meant to be but a twist of fate, Made it so you had to walk away" -Happily

"I don't care what people say when we're together"-Happily

"I can't even think straight but I can tell, You were just with her"-JABOYL

"And nothing's ever easy, That's what they say"-JABOYL

"Pay attention, I hope that you listen 'cause I let my guard down, Right now I'm completely defenseless"-If I Could Fly

"I've got scars even though they can't always be seen, And pain gets hard, but now you're here and I don't feel a thing"-If I Could Fly

"One day you'll come into my world and say it all, You say we'll be together even when you're lost"-Something Great

"I want you here with me, Like how I pictured it, So I don't have to keep imagining"-Something Great

"The script was written and I could not change a thing, I want to rip it all to shreds and start again"-Something Great

"You're all I want, So much it's hurting"-Something Great

So yeah, its sad that you just alienated that one thing without having context nor looking at the bigger picture. If I missed anything please tell me. :]

sorry for the long post

(copied from my answer on twitter)

[bookenders]

11/11/11 Tag Game: Round... uh... 5, 6, & 7?

I got tagged by a bunch of people ( @quilloftheclouds is this how your 77 question one felt??) so here are a bunch of answers! I think this is the most I’ve ever talked about myself in my life. 

Good gracious, you’re all so nice and have such good questions.

Tagged by: @surroundedbypearls, @waterfallwritings, @bigmoodword, @sundaynightnovels

Rules: answer 11 questions, tag 11 people, give them 11 new questions!

[I’ve done this enough to be able to break the tag rules. Fight me.]

44 questions and answers below the cut!

But I’ll be nice and put my questions right here:

What would you do for a Klondike bar?

When do you title your WIPs? It is the first thing you do? The last? Does it come to you during drafting?

How many inside jokes do you put in your WIP(s)?

Your WIP’s antagonist is now The Riddler. How do your OCs handle that?

Do you use sticky notes?

Laptop or desktop?

Your OC is a wrestler. What’s their hype music?

Do you own any craft books/books on writing?

What’s your favorite book cover?

How many unread books do you have sitting around right now? Which are you most excited to maybe get to eventually some time?

How committed are you to your outline(s)?

Bilbo Taggins: Literally anyone, but also @francestroublr, @sahados-shadow, @a-story-im-writing, @bethkerring, @citruschickadee, @bos-ingit

If I’ve tagged you before, you can totally ignore this. In fact, I encourage you to.

From @surroundedbypearls:

What’s your favourite genre to write in and why? Literary fiction! It’s what I learned in university and the one that fits my themes best. Sci-fi is hard, I’m just getting into writing fantasy stuff, I can’t do thrillers, romance is hard for me, and historical is too much work.

Do you think you have a style/voice that you use more often in your writing? When did you develop that style? If you’ve read one of my stories, you know exactly how my writing voice sounds. It doesn’t change too much. I write like I talk, but if I had a lot more gravitas and charisma. Honestly, I’ve always had that kind of style, but it really developed in high school. It’s been getting stronger since then. It’s one of the things I always got comments about from my teachers and fellow workshop writers. “Your voice is so strong!” Yep. It’s mah thang.

Do you play video games? What’s your favourite? YES I DO. It’s hard to pick faves, but I’ve played Dragon Age: Origins too many times. 

If you were going to do a WIP crossover, which OCs would be most interesting together? (If you’ve only got one WIP crossover with something else) A crossover between H2H and AOPC? Interesting. I think Mel and Keema would get along the best, Oz would have some fightin’ words for Elder Sanga, and Gemma and Teva would be a force to be reckoned with, my god. Two stubborn nerds who believe totally different things but are also very determined to be very good at what they want to do and love their communities to a fault? Fear them.

Do you prefer to plan WIPs in a document or through handwritten notes? I used to do it by hand but I couldn’t read it because my handwriting is terrible and I kept losing papers. I do it in docs now. Much easier to organize and incredibly legible.

Do you multiple languages exist in your WIP? If so how do you address that in the story? H2H is set in the “real world,” so yep. It hasn’t been addressed too much yet, but I have a way for tackling languages. I’ve written multilingual-ish stories before. I never write phonetically and use hella context clues so the reader knows the gist of what was said if another character doesn’t translate.

What’s your favourite animated film that’s not Disney or Pixar? AN AMERICAN TAIL. All of them. It’s on Netflix go watch it and marvel at the way a kids movie talks about Jewish immigration, poverty, and cultural oppression via mice. As a young Jewish child, this movie was my jam. It’s very dark, though.

Do your real-life surroundings influence your WIP’s settings? Nope! One time I tried to write a story set in the same area where I lived and I couldn’t do it. Too weird. Sometimes I’ll write in an item I see near me, or like, a painting or poster on the wall if I need some set decoration, but that’s about it.

Which OCs would be most likely to break the fourth wall? Oz. Lookin’ at the camera like he’s in The Office.

How do you work out your OCs’ personalities? Hm. I look at the story I’m trying to write and make a protagonist that would have the most interesting experience in that narrative. For H2H, I wanted someone who would be loyal as heck to the people they loved while still being experimental enough to try new things and get into shenanigans. The story called for someone like that, and there she was. Mel came about my thinking of someone who would compliment other characters in the story while still being their own person. If that makes sense. I think of dynamics and interactions with the story world in relation to the theme(s). Most of the time they just happen, though.

Do you prefer worldbuilding or character building? Character building! As much as I like making stories about places, making characters is more fun for me, and more interesting. You should see all the DnD character sheets I have. 

From @waterfallwritings:

1. How do you come up with ideas for your WIPs?

At random. Seriously. It’s like my brain has to be running something in the background to function normally, and usually that something is whatever story I happen to be working on. Or I’ll look at a thing and go “huh.” My brain also likes to twist normal things to be a little bit different.

2. How do you get past gaps in the plot?

No idea, man. It’s like throwing spaghetti at a wall. I like to work backwards. If this is what I want to happen, what needs to happen before that to ensure that it occurs? I look at all the elements currently in the story and see if one can be manipulated to fill in the hole.

3. What motivates you to keep writing?

If I don’t, my brain gets all constipated and angry until I write something down. Like, seriously, I get grumpy and frustrated like I’m hangry or something. Aside from physical need, I love writing. I love word puzzles and feelings puzzles and figuring them out. Sometimes I think of how my stories could help someone, or make them feel something that they enjoy. 

4. Do you do any other kind of creative writing?

Oh, man, I’ve done it all. Screenwriting, playwriting, poetry, video game-ish writing, interactive storytelling, short stories, flash fiction, proposals, essays, DnD campaigns, monologues... You name it, I’ve probably tried it. I tend to stick to prose and poetry these days.

5. Do you have any other creative hobbies besides writing?

I’ve gotten into graphic design a little bit. I kind of wanna learn how to knit again. I’m not really very crafty. 

6. What do you do when you’re stuck on a scene and don’t know how to get it out / write it?

Write a different scene, stare at the screen in frustration until I give up and go to sleep, meditate for a few minutes, go do something else to get my mind off of it, clean, work on a different project.

7. How do you decide how to end your WIP?

I mean, see the next question for part of my answer. How did I decide to end H2H? My friend, that’s a big ‘ole spoiler. But I decided to end it at a place where everything, and everyone, comes together.

8. When in the process of writing do you decide how its going to end? Or do you kind of just wait til you get there?

Right at the beginning. If I don’t know where it’ll end, I have a hard time writing the arc. I work backwards: start with the idea, then think of where I want it to end up, then work back to the beginning until I know where its going, then start writing.

9. Why did you decide to join writeblr?

My reasons are pretty personal, but the least personal is that I needed some accountability and motivation. And I missed being in a good writing community.

10. What’s your favourite food?

Pasta! I’m eating spaghetti right now.

11. If you had to kill off a character in your WIP, who would it be and why?

Oz would be the most tragic. Treena would be the most logical. 

From @bigmoodword:

1. using one sentence summaries, can you tell me about your wips?

Nerdy potion woman meets cute odd stranger who helps her solve magic mysteries in their quirky small town.

2. what inspired them?

I saw a zine accepting submissions for magic stories, then an open call for queer shifter stories, and thought “what if wholesome magical lesbians?”

3. which of your ocs do you most identify with?

Gemma!

4. if you’ve ever cried while reading, which book cued the waterworks?

THE SONG OF ACHILLES.  My God, my soul was weeping. Honestly, it still is. Doesn’t matter that I knew the story from the Iliad. Madeline Miller is a feelings wizard.

5. how do you conduct research for your wips and what’s the most interesting thing you’ve discovered in said research?

On an as-needed basis. I used to do way too much research to avoid actually writing the damn thing, so now I only do it when I actually run into a problem that can be solved by Google.

6. thus far, which scene has been the most difficult to write?

The ones that aren’t hugely emotional. Which is... unfortunate.

7. which of your ocs do you like the least?

Rude. On a personal level, Jill. I love her, but I would not be friends with her. We wouldn’t mesh at all.

8. which pov and tense do you prefer to write in?

Third person limited present tense! To the bane of everyone who’s ever edited my work.

9. do you write poetry?

I do! Not often, though.

10. who is your writing role model?

My freakin’ writing professor from college. He is crazy disciplined.

11. if you could give your younger writer self some advice, what would it be?

Hey, you know those people who say your writing is too dark? Yeah, they suck and they’re wrong. They just want kids to live up to their expectations and write happy sunshiny stories about unicorns and dinosaurs having ice cream. And you’re not depressed because you wrote that one sad poem one time and someone asked if you were depressed. What you have is called feelings and they’re very useful for a writer, nay, a human, to have.

From @sundaynightnovels:

Who is your biggest role model? Okay, so I got crap all the time in grade school for never having a role model, and I still don’t have one. The teachers were concerned about me. But my reasoning was, “why should I want to live someone else’s life?” Yeah. They didn’t really know what to do with that...

What are your OCs favorite foods? Sort of answered here!

Which OC is most afraid of the dark? Oz and Mary!

What made you want to start a writing blog/participate in the writeblr community? Answered above!

Did you sleep with a stuffed animal as a kid? Do you still? I did, indeed. I don’t anymore, but I have two that I shuffle around my room when they get in the way. One is a highland cow I got in Scotland (he has a plaid hat), the other is a blue whale I got at the Museum of Natural History in NY.

Do you like donuts? I love donuts. Especially jelly filled ones. Mmm.

Do/would your OCs like donuts? All of my OCs like donuts. I don’t think Mel has ever had a modern one, though.

What is your least favorite food? Cauliflower? I’m the household taste-tester, so there’s been a lot of stuff I don’t like.  ( @sundaynightnovels I hate sparkling water, too, you’re not alone!)

What is your ideal writing environment? Comfy seating, a chair with no arms (stupid elbows), alone, plenty of chosen beverage within reach, headphones.

Favorite line from your WIP? So far, it’s this one!

Favorite quote from a book? Oh, man. There are so many. From recent memory, here are a few: “’Give it time,’ she replies. ‘It won’t be a story forever.’“  and “Everyone has heard stories of women like us, and now we will make more of them.” (both from The Ladies Guide to Petticoats and Piracy) “When he smiled, the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkled like a leaf held to flame.” and “I lean forward and our lips land clumsily on each other. They are like the fat bodies of bees, soft and round and giddy with pollen.” (I could write a goddamn essay about the imagery in this scene.) (It is quite possibly my favorite description of a kiss ever. And the metaphor extends through the rest of the scene so artfully ugh.) (both from The Song of Achilles) “The thing about a story is that you dream it as you tell it, hoping that others might then dream along with you, and in this way memory and imagination and language combine to make spirits in the head.” (from The Things They Carried)

[realmzenith]

it’s time to TALK abt every wonderful fantastic thing she ra and the princesses of power has accomplished w just one (1) season��!

cracks knuckles. alright kids let’s dig IN

firstly, before we get into the fantastic queer rep, diverse designs in both ethnicity and body type, groundbreaking trope flipping- i want to talk abt adora partially bc i love her w all my heart but partially bc her character is just SO important in so many ways

gestures to her ??? friends, adora is so wonderful im crying in the club. let’s break it down ! why is adora such a powerful, fresh chara ? 

exhibit a: her personality. it is so so rare to see a sensible, straightforward MC 

“She is very practical, very buttoned-up in her own personal style. She likes fighting. She’s very straightforward. She doesn’t have a lot of ornamentation, or even personality, in the way she presents herself. Her ponytail’s just up-and-back, very straightforward.” - Noelle Stevenson

this is going to be long so more beneath the cut !

as stevenson says adora is a no nonsense, hands on person which is clear from the way she handles things ! it’s obvious from the start she’s v dutiful, dedicated, moralistic, a little too set on the facts- this is clear from the way she gives her all to the rebellion once her ?? admittedly v divided view of the world into good and bad flip flops (which is a discussion for another day)

to her whole mapping out an entire game plan for a BALL of all things

u could argue this has smth to do w her regimented upbringing in the hoard but friends, tell me if u can truly see catra doing this for a party. in part it is ofc nature and nurture but when it comes down to it adora is a planning, facts type of gal and that is SO cool to see in an MC

most MCs we get esp in media directed towards younger kids (i.e. aang from atla, steven from su, harry potter, percy jackson etc) are 1. male 2. much more emotionally driven which there is ofc nothing wrong w but she ra is rlly turning the tables by 1. having a female lead and 2. one who’s realistic, candid and orderly in her approach to handling things

this lets new swathes of ppl connect w the MC of spop ! personally i find her a lot more relatable than the more big picture, emotionally driven type MCs much of the media tends to sport yet she’s still a dorky

vaguely confused

chara who’s learning to grow and change everyone can relate to. this is esp relevant in the way she learns to not just take the route she’s supposed to, not only by leaving the hoard but choosing her friends over mission near the end of season 1

all in all???? top tier stevenson we are BLESSED to have adora as she ra’s lead

second order of business ! the LGBT rep

and the queer overtones ??? on everything ???

esp w catra and adora’s dynamic there are plenty of queer overtones 

“The relationship between Adora and Catra is the defining one of the show. It’s so complex and complicated between the two of them, and they still have such a long way to go. These two people mean everything to each other and find themselves on opposite sides.” - Noelle Stevenson

she goes on to say in response to the question of whether or not catradora is the queer relationship many viewers are seeking

“I don’t want to put a narrative on it that isn’t necessarily in the show itself. I want the people watching it to draw their own narrative from that. It’s something that continues to unfold through the series, and it’s something I’m very, very eager for people to see... There’s a lot to read into that, and a lot of it is subtextual. But it’s a reading that’s definitely fair.” - Noelle Stevenson

not to mention the finale’s fantastic end scene w the giant rainbow ??

as well as hints of possible trans charas demonstrated in one case by bow’s choice of swimsuit !

and ofc the pairing of spinnerella / netossa ! an adorable canonical wlw pairing she ra’s team has confirmed and is displayed in show

not to mention noelle stevenson, the writer of she ra, is a member of the lgbt community and thus here to give us the rep we need

and while we’re here the show’s writing team is composed of ALL LADIES

( this is also just a great article by LA times abt why she ra is first rate )

thirdly i want to talk abt the chara designs

friends, there are LOADS of poc in she ra ?? not only are TWO of the main charas- bow and glimmer- most likely poc (i believe glimmer may be half asian or smth similar? her aunt castaspella appears to be asian as pictured below !)

the main cast of good guys (11) as sort of listed in the wiki Adora, Glimmer, Bow, Angella, Entrapta, Perfuma, Sea Hawk, Mermista, Frosta, Netossa, Spinnerella contains at least 5 poc ( bolded ) THAT’S ESSENTIALLY HALF THE CAST and possibly more !

not to mention the designs are highly diverse in body shape ! there are plus size charas like spinnerella

and even the side characters have engaging, fun, diverse designs that i am absolutely living for as u can prbly tell by my soda pop icon ;)

and lastly?? she ra is rlly flipping tables on tropes

w a female teenage rivalry w heavy queer undertones. there are SO many of these kinds of relationships w male charas but when’s the last time we got it for the girls??

she ra is rlly out here delivering us a quality protagonist/antagonist codependent shifting complex dynamic w two teen girls. that in itself is groundbreaking imo

and bow ?? a walking trope smasher ?? crushing toxic masculinity singlehandedly ?? he’s respectful towards women, sensitive and affectionate and NONE of it is looked down upon ! ( this whole paragraph is a link to my bow post if u want to read More akjflskdjf )

so in conclusion ?? do watch she ra for the diverse, engaging, mostly female cast, the lgbt rep, the trope smashing and ground breaking and ofc, the excellent story. it’s absolutely worth it, and i’m super hyped to see where she-ra and the princesses of power takes us next !

♡ for more of my spop posts click here ♡

[tumblunni]

Also yeah while im on the subject

I really hate fantasy settings where magic is limited by biological sex. Because usually its used to enforce some sort of stupid gender stereotype that the writer believes is "biologically innate" rather than predjudice, by making up a world where it actually is biologically innate. Or its like "oh but women cant do those jobs" but again, a made up excuse for it to be LITERALLY TRUE. And usually they either dont even touch on the subject of trans and gay people (since it often conflates heterosexuality with gender...) or else it actually does bring it up and just creates a cavalcade of even more everything-ism...

Like i mean i love the game Jade Coccoon and considering it came out in the early 2000s i can understand it being more sexist, and its supossed to be a dark game anyway and a lot of the societal structures in Syrus Village are meant to be wrong and evil even if the characters act like its the way the world should be. The villain of the game is basically the toxic atmosphere of your shitty town and their paranoia of things they don't understand. Tho that means the player kinda has no motivation to finish it cos the main conflict is also saving those same villagers from dying and theyre all fucks. Anyway i'm going offtopic! What i mena is that i dont think it was a particularly sexist example of the inexplicable gender segregated magic trope. But just cos its a fave game of mine im gonna pick it to talk about anyway. Hope i dont sound too negative on it, cos seriously i love it loads!

Ok so to use Jade Cocoon as an example, here its a thing that only men can be cocoon masters and only women can be nagi. Tho it also gets a bit complicated because nagi is also an ethnicity as well? Its kinda like being romani, they're a race of displaced people who travel the world giving their magical services to other countries while searching for their lost homeland, which you end up finding at the end of the game. So yeah its extra weird cos male children of the nagi race are born with no powers whatsoever and cant even become cocoon masters, yet they get the ruling position in this homeland place? Like thats a better metaphor for how christian societies work, honestly!

Anyway im going offtopic again!

Basically, cocoon master = adventurer dude who catches monsters, nagi = magician who purifies those monsters so you can use them in battle. So when you catch stuff it becomes an inventory item rather than being able to use it on your team right away. And also nagi women can fuse monsters together to make super badass new ones and basically the gameplay system works really well to make you believe your wife is absolutely necessary to your quest and you would die without her, even if she cant fight. And honestly its actually kinda romantic! I just wish it wasnt presented as this weird sacred heterosexuality arranged marriage nonsense where all women are physically unable to go to a dungeon and all men are physically unable to not fight every day. Or at least thats how the powers work and if you try and step out of that role you fuckin die. Like it would be romantic to have a couple of a battle partner and a supporter magician if they actually chose it, yknow?

And whats annoying is that they actually do bring up the subject of people defying gender roles and canonically state that you not omly die but bring a curse upon everyone and are hated forever. They dont mention trans or gay people, instead the excuse is that a man loved his wife so much that he tried to learn nagi magic to lift the burden from her. Cos oh yeaj women get 'punished' by god for doing this magic?? Cursed tattoos all over their body the more they use it, and everyone hates them and eventually they turn into a fairy and forget they were ever human. And in the japanese version you can actually fight other nagi women who met this fate, theyre just another monster that you can fight and capture. They were censored in english cos they looked like really racist stereotypes of black women! Ugh! So yeah anyway nice straight husband is punished by the magic straightness enforcing rules of the universe for loving his straight wife too much. So what is the even point? If a man tries to use nagi magic it creates the "black cocoon" of cursed doomness and blah. Literal punishment for not conforming to gender. Damned if you do, damned if you don't!

Anyway this setting always made me wonder about all the stuff it just glosses over with this implication that every one of these relationships worked out fine. Like even before we rub lgbtq topics all over a retro videogame, there's a lot of logical holes! Like seriously how many of these arranged marriages ended up loveless or abusive? How many women just didnt want to stay confined to one room forever and not even have anyone look at them because their magic markings are shameful yet its also shameful not to want to do it?? How many men were terrified of going out on this advebture fighting literal demigods sent by heaven to punish humans? How many of them just had no ability to fight and died immediately because of shitty traditions, while perfectly qualified women had to sit there and watch it happen? What if there werent enough straight men and women of the same age and people were forced into gross pedophilic shit or other horror scenarios just cos there has to be this one magical straight couple or the village dies? Whenever theres this stupid gender magic its ALWAYS portrayed as idyllic and never failing ever, unless *gasp* people dont follow the gendrules...

And then SERIOUSLY do no queer people exist in this universe?? Man i'd be so interested in their stories! I actually had an oc idea of a self insert version of me as a travelling merchant. Because maybe what if nonbinary people could do both sides of the magic at once and thus adventure alone without being tied to a village's straight marriage system? So i'd just go around purifying monsters and then be a place you could buy new and rare mons from other villages without having to catch them. Maybe an easier way to get the super rare drop fusion materials for tiger pattern and stuff? And like seriously itd be good to have a character to talk to who agrees that your village is made of assholes. I cant say its bad writing cos it was clearly intentional, but they shoulda at least put a bit more incentive to keep playing even if you didnt care about these people. Also it would help plug the plothole of how a village even survives if it doesnt have the required people to form this magical straight marriage. Have some mysterious enby avengers who travel all across the world and save everyone regardless of country! All we ask is you buy some of our lovely souveniers! Maybe a pet patalchu for your family? Seripusly why dont they ever show anyone using the purified monsters for anything other than fighting the unpurified ones? You'd think they'd be really useful in repairing the village and guarding the walls and like..regular industrial jobs. Help the place actually advance and not have to live day to day on scraps,bickering amoungst themselves as the monsters grow ever closer to breaking through. Hell, you could even have them help spin the cocoons for other monsters! If this magic only depends on having a dick or not, then cant we just dress up some animals in the magic straight marriage outfits? XD

And like aaaa man im getting so emotional just imagining a trans woman who's constabtly told she will literally bring about the apocolypse if she tries to fill the female role in this ritual. And then one day she tries to spin the magic silk and she thinks she's committing the ultimate sin and they were all right. But the magic responds to her touch, and she makes a spell more beautiful than any other woman in the village! It would probably be harder for a trans man cos the magic doesnt have so much of an immediate proof like that. Just going out and winning a fight with a monster can be called "dumb luck", and knowing these assholes they'd probably keep calling it dumb luck even after the thousandth time you save their life!

And man, i wonder how gay relationships would work in such an annoyingly strict system of enforced heterosexuality? Would it be like the magic isnt REALLY gender locked at all, and it can just be any couple with either partner taking either role? Or would it be that it is one magic per gender but the bigoted villagers were wrong about it being impossible to do things without both? Like maybe when you're going into battle alone as a single cocoon master you cant fight without catching other monsters. But when two cocoon masters love each other their magic is amplified and they become able to like.. I dunno.. Imbue each other with elemental strength so they can fight the monsters hand to hand? Cos really the elemental system is the only reason you cant do a no monsters run of the game as it is. Maybe since they cant purify monsters but they can still catch them, they equip the monsters as sort of a power rangers transformation? Or socket them like materia on their weapons? Or just if the world was less segregated into tiny sexist racist villages they could simply buy the purification coccoons from another local nagi, and villages without a coccoon master could buy the services of travelling ones. Oh, and maybe two nagi lesbians could be even more badass! Cos if they can only purify and not fight, maybe their double purification is so strong that they can just straight up walk into the forest and monsters don't attack them. They dont even need to do the full spell, they can calm a beastie's rage just by holding out their hand and patting it on the head. So they coukd be infinately more effective and not have to just tenporarily clear single travelling routes of a few monsters, but actually work towards slowly purifying the entire forest and creating a peaceful land again. Tho i mean the game did have a unique atmosphere with the whole 'no hope of ever beating them' aspect. It was unique to see a society formed around the idea of never going into forests or you Die. But magical lesbians and their family of a million pet dragons is honestly better!

And uhhhh ive gone all offtopic now and i camt stop thinking about how much i love magical lesbians with a million pet dragons

The End

[knightofbalance-13]

https://rwby-analysis.tumblr.com/post/172350052147/im-always-a-little-annoyed-by-people-who-say-that

https://rwby-analysis.tumblr.com/post/172354627777/listen-when-it-comes-to-sexual-orientations

*Sigh* To think I’d have to do this to RWBY-Analysis of all people.

Okay, let’s go.

Sorry to disappoint you, but shipping Ilia with Sun or Jaune really isn’t the best thing to do now that she’s a confirmed lesbian. (I’m actually really not sorry.)

Why? Why is this such an issue? It’s just shipping, just an idea. It’s not like doing this suddenly means Illa turns straight or anyone is actually saying that. So why is this an issue?

Shipping straight dudes to make them gay doesn’t take away from straight representation. Media is incredibly heteronormative and queer people rarely see themselves represented. Even when we are we’re mostly just side characters, often badly written. Additionally male gay characters are way more represented in media and fandoms and queer women are often overlooked (not to even talk about all the other identities). 

... Okay, what you just described is a zero sum game, in which something can only be gained by taking away from another. Thus nothing is added. And honestly, it’s stupid to think this way about fictional concepts. Shipping is NOT real and it does NOT take away from canon. Just as well: SHIPPING IS NOT ACTIVISM. You do not get moral credit for shipping gay ships or lose it for shipping straight ships.  None of this belogs in shipping.

Yeah, Media is incredibly heteronormative...so is the human race. Washinting post says that 96% of people are heterosexual in the US, which is one of the most liberal countries in the world. (https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/volokh-conspiracy/wp/2014/07/15/what-percentage-of-the-u-s-population-is-gay-lesbian-or-bisexual/?utm_term=.e4d1dd014408) And mind you, the Washington post has a left leaning bias so they have NO reason to lie about these numbers (https://mediabiasfactcheck.com/washington-post/). So the media being heteronormative is nothing negative, especially since relating to someone SOLELY due to sexuality is just begging for tokenism.

The thing about most gay characters being poorly written...so are most straight characters. Sturgeon’s law: 99% of media is crap. It is an issue for gay characters but it’s not SOLELY their issue as well. As for the gay woman thing: Source please.

Good lesbian representation is incredibly rare. Shipping the only confirmed lesbian character on the show with a dude just because some other people ship Johnlock or whatever is just ignorant. Shipping two straight characters of the same gender doesn’t take away from straight representation because straight people just don’t have the issue of their sexual or gender identity being represented enough in media. Full stop. 

You know, if you keep referring to representation as a zero sum game: I DEMAND you go all the way on it and call out people who do ship two straight characters because in the context of a zero sum game: it actually IS taking away from straight representation and for you to not look like a massive hypocrite, you NEED to call them out. ... Or just let people ship whatever they ship because people will ship two or more characters for any numbers reasons and not just representation and not everything is about representation. But really, considering what else you’ve pulled that might be asking for too much.

Ilia is a lesbian and lesbians often face the struggle of their identity not being taken seriously, especially by men who want to get into their pants. Shipping Ilia with men now that she is a confirmed lesbian plays into that stereotype. Of course there is a difference between “in this AU Ilia is bi because I really like her with Jaune, but I know she’s a lesbian in canon and accept that” and “she shouldn’t be a lesbian, canon is wrong, she should date Jaune in canon, I will write long posts about why they will end up together”. The latter especially feeds that stereotype and it’s probably what most people see when they talk about why shipping Ilia with a man is bad.

... What stereotype are you talking about? You never referenced a stereotype, just something that happens in realm life that is only tangently connected.

And as for the two choices thing: you’re wrong. It can be anything from “I ship these two for political reasons” (you and your strawman) to “I ship these two because they look cute together” to “I ship these two because I like the story ideas” to “I ship these two due to how healthy I perceive the relationship to be” to so many more reasons I can’t name. Shippers don’t all ship for political reasons. ALMOST ALL shippers don't ship for political reasons. And I have NEVER seen someone write posts like that about Illa X Jaune so that doesn’t even make sense.

Also: Your last part basically says “Shipping Illa with a man is bad because Lesbians are fragile flowers that need to be coddled.” And that’s just stupid to me. I now you don’t mean it like that but that's what it basically boils down to.

Comparing the experience of queer people not being represented in media to straight people seeing some 14 year old draw Johnlock fanart is incredibly ignorant and maybe you should educate yourself a bit more about these issues before you start invalidating the serious concerns some queer people who face these issues every day of their life have. 

And this is the part that really ticks me. “If you don’t think like me, you’re ignorant and stupid!” That is what you said, RWBY-Analysis. That is what you said and that’s disgusting. Just as well: What if that 14 year old drew some IllaXJaune fanart, totally oblivious to all these politics and just because they think the couple is nice? Are they being wrong then? And comparing the actual persecution and harm done to LGBT people and fucking shipping is so...WRONG that I refuse to acknowledge that.

This definitely is a thing we should talk more about, but not by making stupid statements like you just did. 

“I’m right, you’re wrong and everyone must think like me in order to be right. If you don’t: you’re ignorant and wrong.” Gotcha.

But we aren’t done yet since there is a follow up.

Listen, when it comes to sexual orientations everyone is entitled to their own headcanons. Right now there is only one character whose sexuality has been confirmed by canon, and that is Ilia. For everyone else it’s all pretty much up in the open, so there is no real reason to discuss that. I personally headcanon Weiss as super duper gay, but people who headcanon her as straight are just as valid. You do you. I won’t even discuss that with you because both headcanons can happily coexist. 

Notice what she is saying: HEADCANONS/ AKA FANDOM. Not Canon, FANON. Meaning that no matter how many people ship Straight Illa, it does not change the FACT that Illa is gay. So there should be nothing else, right?

But when it comes to valid concerns members of the LGBTQ+ community have regarding how the fandom treats certain characters, especially when it comes to Ilia, the only confirmed lesbian, then that’s probably not the right moment to play the “straight people have it just as bad nowadays” card.

No, they are NOt valid concerns. Those people-YOU are not entitled to having the fandom revolve around you and bend to your will. People are allowed to do what they want in a fandom so long as it is not hurting anyone and shipping Illa X Jaune is NOT hurting anyone. It CANNOT hurt anyone but people who shouldn’t BE on the internet in the first place.

Also: Way to go ignoring how society is treating being straight and cis as a bad thing and how all straight and cis people hated all LGBT people.

I am always willing to answer questions anyone has regarding these topics, but as the question so the answer. Don’t come into my askbox complaining about concerns queer people have voiced because that doesn’t really scream “I am willing to learn about this topic and have a constructive discussion about it”, to me it just comes off as if you want to vent, and my askbox is not the right place for that. Ask politely and I’ll be polite. No question is stupid because those things are always new to anyone at some point, but ignorance is. 

...

You do understand that people who would try to force people not ship certain things are NOT necessarily gay. In fact I know quite a few straight people who would pull this crap. You just assumed they would be gay because they agreed with you.

Listen: I did respect you until recently RWBY anaylsis and this post wasn’t why I stopped. You just need to understand that people are gonna ship what they want regardless of what you say and they are NOT wrong for doing so. You need to understand that shipping is not activism.

And before you say I was being harsh: No I wasn’t. You’ll be seeing what harsh looks like in my next post.

[brilliantorinsane]

Sherlock Holmes, 1899: Detective 2.0 (Part 1)

Note: As always, please let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged :)

… Look, I said I wasn’t going to write about this one. And I know that it hardly counts as an. ‘obscure’ adaptation, although to be fair it doesn’t appear often in tumblr discussions. But Sherlock Holmes by William Gillette is the first ever licensed Holmes adaptation, so of course I had to read it, and then I had thoughts and—well, here we are.

This is the fourth installment of my series on obscure Sherlock Holmes adaptations. For a master-list of previous write-ups, see this post.

Production and Reception

William Gillette’s Sherlock Holmes exists in two primary iterations. The first is a play released in 1899 (you can read the script here), and the second is a 1916 silent-film starring several of the stage actors, including Gillette as Holmes. This post will discuss the play only; I will review the film in part 2.

The original script for Sherlock Holmes was written by Doyle, but his script was rejected and heavily reworked by William Gillette. Gillette’s script showcases an original plot, although it features Moriarty and Alice Falukner, a loose Irene Adler analogue. Disappointingly, the parallel between Alice and Irene is purely circumstantial: Alice has much of Irene’s courage but none of her active cleverness, and is reduced to a paper-thin damsel-in-distress. This is even more unfortunate given that—contrary to Doyle’s wishes—Gillette makes her Holmes’s love interest, thus initiating the hellish proliferation of Adler/Holmes storylines. So … thanks for that one, Gillette.

The play was wildly successful, and Alan Barns asserts that it has been “crucial to the development of Sherlock Holmes on film … [i]ts impact cannot be overestimated.” Even Doyle appears to have softened towards the play after seeing it performed, and is quoted by Vincent Starrett as saying: “I was charmed both with the play, the acting, and the pecuniary result." Whether Doyle was more pleased by the art or the currency is perhaps unclear.

For myself, insofar as it is the first Holmes adaptation I find this play fascinating; but insofar as it is just one of many retellings, my feelings are mixed. I confess I kept comparing it to Doyle’s stage adaptation of The Speckled Band (you can read the script here and my analysis here), and Gillette’s play seldom looked better for it. I found Doyle’s plot more compelling, his villain more threatening, and his characters more vibrant. All the same I was not bored reading Gillette’s play, got a few laughs, appreciated Gillette’s Watson and was intrigued—if not wholly pleased—by his Holmes.

But I hope you don’t think me terribly petty if I confess that I struggle to entirely forgive Gillette for launching the legacy of Holmes adaptations with a ‘straight’ Holmes.

William Gillette as Sherlock Holmes

There are things I quite like about Gillette’s Holmes. He is deeply composed, but fully capable of action and self-defense. He has plenty of snark, is openly affectionate with his Watson, yet is deeply troubled—he cannot be accused of being without feeling.

Nevertheless, I suspect that he played a large role in establishing the stereotype of the hard-boiled detective, the DFP, the detached and cold-hearted reasoning machine. Gillette consistently leans into Holmes darker and more reserved qualities: his Holmes is almost always composed and never excited—although he is often quietly amused—and there is little sense of his love for an audience. The extremity of his cocaine habit is emphasized, to the point that he is clearly suicidal—an aspect that is belabored rather frequently.

But the thing that really irks me is the case. The case is loosely based on A Scandal in Bohemia, in which Holmes is working for a prince in an attempt to gain incriminating letters/pictures from a woman. Scandal is an anomaly in the canon insofar as Holmes is not strictly on the side of justice—either in the audience’s eyes or his own—and yet goes through with it (x). This is distinctly unusual for a man who ordinarily allows nothing, including the law, to sway him from what he sees as true justice. And yet it is this dark deviation that Gillette chooses as the framework for presenting Holmes to a new and wider audience.

And look—there’s nothing wrong with exploring Holmes’s darker side. But I still struggle with the characterization on two levels:

I’m not saying the persistence of this darker Holmes in public imagination was Gillette’s fault; he’s hardly responsible for all adaptations that followed his. I just … I just would have liked the legacy of Holmes adaptations not to begin with a straight, hard(er)-hearted Holmes.

Frankly, I find the ‘borderline-cruel straight white guy is redeemed because a pretty young girl saw his secret golden heart’ plot infinitely more tired and less compelling than the complex, transgressive, damaged, but deeply kind character Doyle created.

Edward Fielding as John Watson

If Gillette perpetuated some of my least favorite Holmes stereotypes, on the whole the same cannot be said of his portrayal of Watson. Yes, Watson is sidelined to make room for Alice, and like the other characters in the script I found him a bit … flat. But he is never portrayed as a fool, his role was somewhat larger than I expected, his connection to Holmes is palpable, and if I had a checklist of characteristics a good Watson ought to posses, he would do a surprisingly good job checking them off.

The first thing we know of Watson is Holmes’s affection for him. The second is Watson’s protectiveness of Holmes as he expresses his distress over Holmes’s cocaine habit and the danger posed by Moriarty. We also get a sense of Watson’s attraction to danger when he observes, “this is becoming interesting,” as matters become tense.

My favorite moment, however, comes near the end when Watson is alone and  two false patients come in, attempting to set a trap for Holmes. Watson not only catches on to their facades immediately, he also notices that the blind had been raised when he briefly stepped out of the room. So thanks to Gillette’s script, we get to see Watson be clever, observant, and a great doctor all at once—a rare occurrence in early adaptations.

As much as I enjoy this scene, however, it also gets at my one major disappointment with Gillette’s Watson: although he is entirely capable, he is never given anything to do. In this instance, when Watson realizes his ‘patients’ are setting a trap he begins to act; but then Holmes appears and takes charge. Later Watson blocks the window and closes the blinds to avoid a signal being sent out to Moriarty—but only at Holmes’s instructions. And this, sadly, is the consistent pattern of the play.

In the end, I was left with a confusing dual sense that on the one hand Gillette seems to have a fairly good grasp of Watson and his capabilities, but on the other doesn’t really seem to know what to do with him. He seems to know that Watson is important, but not how he is important.

So … What About Johnlock?

After everything I’ve said, that’s clearly a hard ‘no,’ right? Well, sort of—they certainly aren’t riding off into the sunset together, but I still find myself with rather too much to say on this topic. To my mind, there are four categories worth touching on: a). The relative strength of the Holmes/Alice relationship vs the Holmes/Watson relationship, b). subtext carried over from Doyle’s stories, c). queer elements of the Holmes/Alice relationship, and d). assorted moments.

a). Holmes/Alice vs Holmes/Watson

Here’s the thing: my complaints about the Holmes/Alice romance aren’t just because Holmes is gay and in love with Watson. They are also because Gillette couldn’t have written more of a dime-a-dozen (+vaguely sexist) hetero romance if he tried. Here is a point-by-point summary of their ‘relationship’:

Holmes is on the point of further stripping agency away from a helpless girl who has been physically and psychologically abused for months.

Alice cries.

Holmes doesn’t do the cruel thing (he’s still planning to do it, but Alice doesn’t know).

They are now in love.

I’m not exaggerating here: in terms of length the above scene is hardly a blip in the play, and yet next time they see each other Alice is saying that if Holmes dies she wants to die too. Yep.

On the other hand, the relationship between Sherlock and Watson is established and their care for one another is palpable. Watson first appears immediately after Holmes refuses to see Mrs. Hudson, clearly wishing to be alone. But then his boy Billy comes up, and this exchange follows:

BILLY: It's Doctor Watson, sir. You told me as I could always show 'im up. HOLMES: Well! I should think so. (Rises and meets WATSON.) BILLY: Yes, sir, thank you, sir. Dr. Watson, sir! 

(Enter DR. WATSON. BILLY, grinning with pleasure as he passes in, goes out at once.) 

HOLMES (extending left hand to WATSON): Ah, Watson, dear fellow. WATSON (going to HOLMES and taking his hand): How are you, Holmes? HOLMES: I'm delighted to see you, my dear fellow, perfectly delighted, upon my word.

The affection, intimacy, eagerness for one another’s company, and trust evident in these first lines remains throughout the script, and puts Holmes and Alice’s hurried and stilted relationship to shame.

Ultimately Holmes marries Alice and Watson is sidelined, but the relationship between him and Watson remains the more palpable and affecting.

b). Subtext carried over from Doyle’s stories

There are at least two threads that are strongly reminiscent of subtextual cornerstones in Doyle’s canon. Perhaps they are intentional, or perhaps Gillette borrowed them from the stories/Doyle’s original script without reading them the way we do, but they exist nonetheless.

The first is Holmes’s cocaine use. In the canon Holmes occasionally claims that he uses drugs to escape the crushing boredom of inactivity between cases, but The Sign of Four in particular makes it clear that he also uses them for emotional comfort—specifically to cope with loosing Watson to Mary. A similar pattern is evident in Gillette’s play: his Holmes claims that the threat of Moriarty “saves me any number of doses of those deadly drugs,” and yet Watson points out that Holmes has been using the drugs “in ever-increasing doses” despite the fact that he has been engaged in his most all-consuming case—fighting Moriarty—for fourteen months. But the cause of Holmes’s increasing drug use and attendant suicidal depression is far less clear in here than it is in the canon.

Hollow as his semi-frequent ‘because I’m bored’ explanations ring in light of Moriarty, I am inclined to think Holmes is most honest near the end when describing his distress over his treatment of Alice:

HOLMES (turning suddenly to WATSON): Watson—she trusted me! She—clung to me! … and I was playing a game! … a dangerous game – but I was playing it! It will be the same to-night! She'll be there —I'll be here! She'll listen—she'll believe—and she'll trust me—and I'll—be playing—a game. No more – I've had enough! It's my last case!

To me this clearly reads as an ongoing distress which was brought to a head by Holmes’s association with Alice rather than originating with it—“I’ve had enough! It’s my last case” indicates that the dilemma is linked to Holmes’s work as a whole, not the affair with Alice particularly. The surface (and likely intended) reading of this is that the work was a decent antidote for boredom for a time, but was ultimately too empty of real connection to be fulfilling in the long term, resulting in Holmes’s ultimate spiral into depression.

However, it also works surprisingly well for a queer reading: Holmes’s prior life was in some way a facade, “a dangerous game” perhaps involving the ongoing deception of someone he cared about. Interesting ...

A queer reading of his deterioration is further supported by the fact that Watson is married in this story. While we don’t now how long he has been married, one wonders whether his absence might coincide with the increase in Holmes’s drug habits—it seems possible that Gillette recognized the link between cocaine and Watson’s marriage in the cannon and intended committed fans to likewise make the connection in the play.

Another interesting moment comes when Holmes is lamenting ‘the good old days,’ and in theory he is complaining about the un-originality of criminals. But although he begins by speaking of what “I” used to do, later he slips into “we.” Is he really missing the old days of criminal creativity, or is he missing the time when he had a constant companion to share them with?

In short, although Gillette is likely appropriating the cocaine and never-quite-explained melancholy of the canon merely to portray Holmes having a mid-life crisis, it works surprisingly well—and in my opinion more compellingly—to read it as the fallout from the loss of his companion for whom he had socially inadmissible feelings which kept him playing a duplicitous game. (Unfortunately the side-effect of this reading might be that the solution is for Holmes to step out of the ‘dangerous game,’ leaving his old life in Baker Street in literal ashes, and into the clear light of a heterosexual relationship, which is, uh … Wrong).

One other brief matter of note: to my great amusement this play also joins canon in playing the game of the vanishing wife. Watson has scarcely entered the story before Holmes comments on Mary’s (timely as ever) absence on “a little visit,” and near the end we discover that Holmes and Watson have planned a trip to the continent (!). How long is the trip? Is Mary coming? Does she have other plans? How does she feel about her husband gallivanting off to another country with a man pursued by a master criminal??? Meh. Who knows.

Miss Plot Device does, however, appear briefly and silently offstage when Watson wants Holmes to peek in at her for a quick lesson on domesticity.

c). Queer elements of the Holmes/Alice relationship

We’ve established that their relationship is as dime-a-dozen and cringey as literary relationships come. However, in the final scenes Holmes has admitted his affection for her to Watson but believes he must set them aside for the following reasons:

HOLMES: That girl!—young—exquisite—just beginning her sweet life—I—seared, drugged, poisoned, almost at an end! No! no! I must cure her! I must stop it, now—while there's time!

And again, when Alice has confessed her love for him:

HOLMES: no such person as I should ever dream of being a part of your sweet life! It would be a crime for me to think of such a thing! There is every reason why I should say good-bye and farewell! There is every reason—

So essentially, he sees his love for almost as some sort of disease, even a crime, something that would endanger the one he loves, that he ought to resist for their sake; only he is quite wrong and that love is in fact the way to happiness for them both … Hmm. Well then.

d). Assorted

There were a few moments in the script which do not fit within a wider thematic arc, but which I couldn’t go without mentioning.

1. Upon Watson’s first appearance, Holmes greets him and then says:

HOLMES: I'm delighted to see you, my dear fellow, perfectly delighted, upon my word—but—I'm sorry to observe that your wife has left you in this way.

Okay, so Mary has only left for a visit and is back the next day, but is it just me or did Holmes make it sound like she’d left Watson for good?? Because if that was intentional, that a first-class Petty Gay antic.

2. The cocaine scene near the beginning ends with these line:

WATSON (going near HOLMES—putting hand on HOLMES' shoulder) Ah Holmes—I am trying to save you. HOLMES (earnest at once—places right hand on WATSON'S arm): You can't do it, old fellow—so don't waste your time.

Partly I’m just struck by the tenderness of the moment, which is heightened by the stage directions. But I also wonder—why couldn’t Watson save Holmes when Alice presumably can? Apparently Holmes needs romantic affection to move forward. If he believed that Watson was capable of offering him that, would Gillette’s Holmes accept it?

3. In a confrontation with the criminals, one of them reveals that they struck Watson at an earlier stage of the conflict. Holmes’s response?

HOLMES (to ALICE without turning—intense, rapid): Ah!

(CRAIGIN stops dead.) 

HOLMES: Don't forget that face. (Pointing to CRAIGIN.) In three days I shall ask you to identify it in the prisoner's dock.

Its not necessarily romantic, but I can’t pass over protective!Holmes, especially given its slight Garridebs vibe. I also can’t resist mentioning that this bit all but interrupts the first clearly romantic moment between Holmes and Alice.

4. Near the end, when Moriarty is captured and spewing threats of revenge, he declares that Holmes will encounter his retribution during his planned trip to the continent with Watson. Ever the optimist, Watson suggests that they cancel the trip, but Holmes replies:

It would be quite the same. What matters it here or there—if it must come.

There is nothing strange in the moment; what is curious is that, for all Holmes’s fears about the damage a relationship with Alice might do her, the very real threat of Moriarty is never mentioned. Realistically this is likely a bit of sloppy writing, and yet the resultant image of an omnipotent web (and yes, the spider’s web metaphor is used for Moriarty in the play) which will inescapably pursue Holmes and Watson wherever they flee and yet leaves the appropriately heterosexual Holmes at Alice alone is, um, Really Something.

5. Finally, as I wrap up I cannot resist calling your attention to a number of lines and stage directions which are (almost definitely) meaningless in context, but out of context are too delightfully gay to ignore. Here they are, presented entirely without context for your viewing pleasure:

HOLMES: Mrs. Watson! Home! Love! Life! Ah, Watson!

HOLMES: I must have that. (Turns away towards WATSON.) I must have that.

HOLMES: (Saunters over to above WATSON'S desk.)

HOLMES: Why, this is terrible! (Turns back to WATSON. Stands looking in his face.)

… I’ll just leave those there.

After everything, the question of whether Gillette might have seen or suspected a romance between Holmes and Watson is unresolved. For myself, I vacillate regularly on how likely I think it is. This excellent post gets into why it is quite likely that Gillette may at the least have seen Holmes and Watson's relationship as a homoerotic (but strictly sexless and ultimately woman-mediated) friendship. Thus at minimum he could have intended to hint at the pain of moving away from such a deeply bonded friendship. From there it is not difficult to imagine the that he could have speculated the possibility that something in their relationship or desires moved beyond what was acceptable in Victorian society. Even if he did  there remain two very distinct possibilities: a). That he was secretly supportive and despite protecting himself with a socially acceptable paring tried to hint at the pain of a forbidden love and even queer-coded the heterosexual resolution, or b). That he saw himself as ‘saving’ Holmes from ‘self-destructive game’ of his old love, redeeming him through the all-healing power of heterosexuality (ugh).

On the other hand, there is also a highly eminent possibility that I’m just looking too hard, and nothing I thought I might see was intended to mean anything in that way.

Ultimately, at this stage my only conclusion is that the evidence is inconclusive. But I will say this: regardless of intention, the relationship between Holmes and Watson remains the strongest and most poignant in the play, and faithfulness to elements of the cannon results in moments that sure do make it look like something is up. If nothing else, that made me smile.

Conclusion: Should You Read It?

Well, it depends on what you’re looking for. If you’re looking for a particularly compelling/unique/vibrant take on Sherlock Holmes, or even just a story with a thrilling plot, intriguing concepts, and living characters, this isn’t a bad choice—but you could do better. (This is where I remind you that Doyle’s play, The Adventure of the Speckle Band, is genuinely excellent). But if you’re looking for an entertaining play which also happens to be the first Sherlock Holmes adaptation in existence and which had an enormous impact on every adaptation that came after—then yeah. Go read it. It’s right here! Have fun! And if you post about it, whoever you are, I would deeply appreciate a tag :)

@devoursjohnlock​ @thespiritualmultinerd​ @a-candle-for-sherlock​ @ellinorosterberg​ @cuttydarke​ @inevitably-johnlocked​ @alemizu​ @astronbookfilms​ @battledress​ @disregardedletters​ @materialof1being​ @sarahthecoat​ @spenglernot​ @authordrawingmusic​ @hewascharming​ @infodumpingground @rsfcommonplace @the-elephant-is-pink​ @johnhedgehogwatson​ @lokis-warrior-queen @sonnet59​ @sherlocks-final-resolve-is-love​ @artemisastarte​ @tjlcisthenewsexy​ @nottoolateforthegame​

[onceuponamirror]

(1/2) hi there!! I’ve followed you for a long time and im a writer and I’ve been toying with the idea of making one of the main characters (and her family) of an original story of mine Jewish. The story is very family oriented, and though her Jewish identity wouldnt be the center focus (the story is more about womanhood and queerness) it’s definitely important and will constantly come up. Since I know you’re jewish yourself, I was wondering if there’s anything about your Jewish identity you’d li

(2/2) like to be represented or touched on more!! Or if you had any recommendations for resources regarding Jewish identity for women and queer folks. I’ve researched quite a bit about Judaism in the past, so at this point I’m trying to find things to read about Jewish identity and maybe concepts people have a hard time reconciling with their faith, rather than just general information about Judaism. thank you for reading this at all!!

————

hi there! happy to help, but know i can only speak for my specific relationship to the culture. contextually: i was raised not with the religious elements as much as i was with the ethnic and cultural components, which in my experience is much more common for american jews. 

i think that as i’ve become more connected to my history and my culture, i’ve realized the really latent disparity that comes with diaspora. 

as in—in many ways, there’s a lot about american white culture that i don’t relate to or especially feel welcome within, but at the same time, many jews are also beneficiaries of white privilege. it would be wrong to say that i’ve experienced any negative profiling, especially as i personally am fair, green-eyed, and blonde. 

(certainly the discussion of white or white adjacent privilege in jews is not universal; i have a friend who is black and jewish and she’s talked to me about the struggle of having both feet in identities that sometimes feel far away from one another. but again—i can’t speak to her own personal relationship with that, nor do i want to try, as it’s not my identity)

but for askenazi american jews in particular, especially recently, there’s a real struggle in where exactly we fit in. the antisemitism is hypocritical and often unconscious on the liberal side, and vicious and veiled on the right wing side. 

for example—recently, in chicago dyke march, three jewish women were kicked out of the parade for having a rainbow flag with the star of david on it. this is a jewish symbol before it’s israeli, but they were kicked out because it made people think it was about zionism.

(zionism, for clarification, is the support of israel as a country—a very complicated subject, which i honestly don’t recommend you bringing up in your character if you’re not jewish)

there’s a trend in american liberalism that for jews to be welcome in safe spaces, they must not be “like other jews,” like the bad ones in israel. a progressive american jew must constantly defend themselves against the actions of a country which they possibly have never been to or have no personal relationship towards. here’s an excerpt from an article discussing this:

“By that hierarchy, you might imagine that the Jewish people — enduring yet another wave of anti-Semitism here and abroad — should be registered as victims. Not quite.

Why? Largely because of Israel, the Jewish state, which today’s progressives see only as a vehicle for oppression of the Palestinians […] no matter that progressives hold no other country to the same standard. China may brutalize Buddhists in Tibet and Muslims in Xinjiang, while denying basic rights to the rest of its 1.3 billion citizens, but “woke” activists pushing intersectionality keep mum on all that.”

[x] 

(i should note that i personally don’t support the actions and apartheid structure put in place by israel, but the fact that i feel compelled to make that delineation is kind of my point)

other related readings on the subject: 1, 2

and then of course, especially lately, there’s been an overt-but-coded rise of antisemitism on the right. if you ever hear the words “global power” or “global banks” or anything that alludes to some handful of people or families that control all the money in the world and are suppressing working class white people, it’s antisemitic conspiracy that jews somehow are puppeteering the world in domination.

what i fear, as a jewish woman, is not an individual attack on my safety, or profiling, etc—instead it’s about being a person whose entire cultural history is defined by being the scapegoat, or historically the boogeyman for everyone’s economic problems. 

throughout all recorded history, the jewish identity is tied to persecution and blame. in fact, one of the reasons why most american jews are eastern european (areas now russian, polish, ukranian, etc) is because although we migrated there and lived there for a long time, we were never considered citizens and thus fled to america as soon as we were able on a mass scale. 

similarly, the reason why so many german jews didn’t leave at the start of the holocaust was because they felt as though they were germans; they just didn’t think their neighbors and government would turn on them until it was too late.

so the lesson lingering there for a lot of young american jews is that no matter how comfortable and integrated you may be with the culture of your country, people en masse will still always turn on you and blame you, especially when there’s economic or political elements to it. 

it’s a cultural wariness, basically, and that’s what i mean about the disparity of diaspora. we often say never again, but there’s a imprint of don’t get too cozy. 

you are, but you aren’t. 

it’s not all so wrought, though.

there’s also a lot of warmth and humor and self-deprecation in the jewish identity—the kind of thing necessary to handle the burden of so much historical atonement and loss—and there is, at least in the jewish community in which i grew up, a lot of acceptance and love.

orthodox judaism can be as rigid and sexist and racist as any other orthodox religion, but reform judaism (which is progressive and much more the norm) is super accepting, especially of queerness, at least in my temple. 

again, i can’t speak so much to the faith of it, because i ended that relationship with the religion after my bat mitzvah. i can speak more to the themes of the holidays and cultural navigations if you want, though. 

a portrayal of jewish characters i loved that might help you: schmidt on new girl, norah from nick & norah’s infinite playlist, jonathan safran foer in everything is illuminated (basically autobiographical/writing himself), shoshana dreyfus in inglorious basterds---actually, the ENTIRE family in the show transparent is an amazing and unflinchingly accurate portrayal of a modern jewish family. 

tl;dr, all that being said though, honestly, if you’re not jewish, i don’t know if it’s really your place to speak to the specific current relationship towards diaspora. 

i think you can allude to it, certainly, especially if your character isn’t sure where to align themselves in terms of their relationship towards social justice, but it’s a very complicated identity that i personally am still figuring out how to navigate, and i can’t really speak to what narrative you want to explore more specifically than what you asked above.

honestly, a lot of jewish humor is making fun of the sometimes accurately stereotypical things we do, and i’m not sure you, if you’re not jewish, should be doing that. but i think self-deprecation, sarcasm, warmth, respect for contextual history, and adaptability are good cultural traits that would be alright for you to play with! 

if you want to send me specific examples, i’d be happy to tell give you a more specific opinion on things. and i think it’s great that you want to tell a story with representation!!!!

let me know if this was what you meant, hopefully this was helpful~

[thesharondefenseleague]

I wanted to talk about the queer baiting thing you mentioned in once upon a time i think the anon before touched on this. Maybe im completely off base but i feel like if its queer baiting with two men you are far more likely to go write fanfiction about that gay couple becoming canon than if it were two girls. Part of the is probably the male characters have better development. But i think a part of it has to do with the sexuality of the person writing the fanfics. It might just be me but pt.1

Part 2:  I feel like its more likely in fics for the lesbian couple if it exists to be like a side ship. Cuz ya fanfiction can have epic stories and alot of them are that. But alot are just fluff and/or smut too. I feel like there people are less likely to write about the lesbian couple then if they dont write girls. The majority of my friends are girls and alot of them are shippers and some even write fanfics. While almost of them have lesbian couples they like only the bi and gay ones will spend Part 3:  time thinking of headcanons about their relationship, writing about them being cute together, or go out of their way to look up fis about them. While the straight ones will be fine reading about them if you hand them a fic about them but wont go out of their way to look or spend alot of time thinking about them like they do with their gay and het ones. Now my friends dont represent all shippers but it is a trend ive noticed amongst some shippers. Answer: So, I’m a lesbian who is pretty educated in sexuality and gender studies so I’m going to tackle this question and say .... no. It doesn’t have anything to do with the sexuality of the writer. 

What is has to do with is the perception of who has ownernship of sexuality, and that’s men. Historically, women’s sexuality has been diminished, cast as responsive or receptive or otherwise thought to not exist in the absence of men. Popular culture reinforces this with a lack of women-loving-women representation. (Usually when we see LGBT representation at all, it’s white men, for example) But also, in heterosexual relationships the emphasis and development is always on the male characters, which further pushes female characters to the fringes, and marks them as the reactive character. In other words, the narrative almost always reads that relationships happen to women. Men make relationships. Even in heterosexual fantasy writing like Twilight and 50 Shades: the women are passive participants in their own story.

Thus, it’s easier, even for women, to use men/male characters to write sexual situations because those are the only active expressions of sexuality we’re exposed to. It’s difficult to write about a woman actively pursuing another women for sex or a relationship because it’s so ingrained in our culture and in the popular media produced by our culture, that that is just not something women do. 

There are some exceptions, obviously. But the reason men/men is favoured over females has everything to do with how society approaches sex. That’s why lesbian couples can be cute background sexless characters in fiction -- because the idea that women like sex without male participation is still one that we’re subconsciously unable to process. Make sense? Mod S