#im pretty sure i joined in 2012-2013

[robinniko]

If you would like, feel free to put in the tags the specific year you joined!

[weirdmageddon]

the shift in lore literacy in homestuck’s fandom

i was thinking about how the people who got into homestuck after it ended—whose interactions with the comic are in a static, archived state, not an ongoing thing—missed out on information that was more common knowledge in the fandom at that time. i don’t know if this is true since i’m not on tiktok, but i wouldn’t be surprised if it was. the fandom certainly isn’t the same as it was before.

ive found that many people reading homestuck now simply do not understand things in homestuck that were common knowledge back in the day, with calls for “homestuck literacy classes to become mandatory” in response to baffling takes because so many people just now seem to have glazed over the comic without absorbing important plot points, and i think i know why this may be. i ended up writing a post reflecting on my time with the comic, my perspective and how ive seen this change. i still think and write about homestuck because it still fascinates me. earlier i quote retweeted that call in my thread talking about the temporal relativity of dave and rose’s god tier ascension in the green sun, saying “my homestuck literacy is 100% so guess im doing my part as a teacher by pointing out whatever i think is really cool about it”. this post im writing now started out as a reply to this tweet i got in response.

i joined the fandom in 2013. i was 11. i had been aware of it since at least late 2011, early 2012 when my friend ryan in fifth grade told me to read it but i couldn’t get past the first few pages. i remember writing a journal on deviantart around this time (late 2011-early 2012) that was mocking people who typed like gamzee, which ironically was very karkat of me. and i remember someone on flipnote hatena i was following was making flipnotes with the alpha kids.

i dont know what caused me to flip the switch into reading it but 2013. i got into it somewhere between april (i think closer to april—i remember it being quite a span of time between the last update before HOMOSUCK dropped.) this was the most recent page the comic, meaning there was no > [S] ACT 6 ACT 6 at the bottom.

i got into it during a pause in updates, which looking into it, was the year 4 megapause. i wasn’t sure of the month until seeing the news post detailing the reason for the hiatus and the status report of the comic’s development at that time. pretty cool i could narrow it down by referencing the dates of those updates and the news post to correspond with the pause!

according to readmspa, the year 4 megapause was a 59 day hiatus from Apr 14, 2013 ==> (EOA6A5) running to 12 Jun 2013, [S] ACT 6 ACT 6. then for a few months there were the first updates that i was apart of the fandom for.

and what an exciting time during the story get into the webcomic! when the updates resumed in june, part 4 of homestuck had begun. here was a glimpse of the updates in that span of time before the next hiatus began in october.

that hiatus was none other than the gigapause, the longest hiatus in the comic, which started october 2013 and lasted for a YEAR, and i already posted about what happened on the date of return.

but here were the main events happening in the story at the time i first actually got interested in it. i wasn’t aware of the full context of them then like i am now, but i was looking at the most recent updates anyway with interest:

the alpha kids just emerged as god tiers from their slabs in derse and prospit, blown up by the condesce and caliborn / lil cal-possessed b2 jack noir.

the journey to the new session started 24 hours after jack called an early reckoning in descend—for context that was about when dave entered around midnight central time and before jade even entered. it’s pretty easy to forget that side 1 of homestuck basically happens within the span of a single day—and at this point in the story, the 3 year journey (which was also 3 real life years) had just ended. john and jade emerged from the other side of the yellow yard through the fenestrated plane on LOMAX. john’s real body was asleep upon arrival in the new session, while his dreaming projection out in the dream bubbles came across vriska’s ghost ship to learn lord english lore with vriska and aranea, and go on the treasure hunt where they found the ultimate weapon at the X mark out in in the furthest ring. in the dream john stuck his hand in the juju, started warping all over canon which removed his real body from the ship on LOMAX. he zapped around for a while but eventually zapped back to LOMAX, now awake, completely out of the loop of what everyone else is up to, and bored as fuck. what was everyone else getting up to while john was asleep?

jade was now once again within the domain of the green sun. im pretty sure her space god doggy essence comes with the power to sense what was anywhere within the domain of the session since her face looks like she arrived at that spot with intent (and she literally has jack noir’s exact powers from bec’s prototyping. also this panel). she immediately dispatched b2 jack to the edge of the incinisphere, defending the newly god-tiered jane and jake. i think even if they weren’t in any danger, she would have warped to them instantly anyway because she COULD now, and i can imagine she wouldve been sooooo eager to meet everyone. even davesprite comments about her rapid departure.

the pre-scratch refugees arrived during the only time serious shit ever went down in the nobles’ months-long inert void session. the condesce used her freak psychic bronze-cerulean powers to commune with jade’s bestial side and mind controlled her, which is super dangerous as someone with the powers of a first guardian. she then used jade’s powers to corrupt jane with the tiaratop. no funtime meetup allowed!

the trolls’ meteor with rose, dave, and the remaining trolls was pulling up into the new session with no way to slow it down. grimbark jade warped there once it was in the incinisphere and took active control. she warped everyone off the trolls’ meteor and sent them to LOMAX.

as john was losing his mind on LOMAX waiting for everyone, the meteor crew warped in. after 3 years he finally reunited with rose and dave, and at least saw the trolls in person. close curtains, end of A6A5. this was the newest [S] flash page at the time, one of my first impressions of this comic, and still one of my favorite flashes. knowing the context of the flash in the story only enhances the retrospective joy i have at getting into the comic at the time i did because it’s such an anticipated moment in the story for everyone, while for someone with no context of the story it was still enjoyable.

so that’s what was going on plotwise when i joined the fandom.

from this time, through those few months of updates and through the gigapause, i was familarizing myself with the characters in the story and overseeing the state of fanbase, getting myself acquainted with the story and wrapping my head around everything.

at that time i found that a new-ish group called colab HQ who were producing a let’s read homestuck series on youtube. hearing the voices and the pacing of it like that really, really eased me into it (maybe it was my adhd that gave me trouble actually starting it?). i caught up to a certain point using lets read homestuck and from that point was able to continue with the comic on my own, and by the time the gigapause came to a close i was fully caught up. i remember the rebranding of colab hq into voxus about a year and a half after i discovered them.

but.. back to the main point of my post. even these posts from hussie’s tumblr exist in archived states. how many new fans know about hussie’s old tumblr? i don’t know, unless theyre a new fan that must scour the internet for more deep more dives on homestuck and its fandom as a whole. but since hussie deleted his tumblr (it exists archived now on homestuck.net which, alongside from the unofficial homestuck collection, has nearly singlehandedly kept the most important relics of the fandom and lore archived), that page is not an active part of the fandom now, because it’s gone. it’s a pile of bones. it’s not living and breathing. it’s in an archived state. the whole thing is already there. homestuck and its fandom history is something you now binge instead of slowly consume and meld with as it comes out. it’s now this rapid information intake that you might forget about if you read it now instead of engaged alongside it. you’re not surrounded by people actively talking and theorizing about developments anymore. the ability to have those sorts of conversations during the ongoing development of the story reinforced concepts, ideas, and lore over and over as we tried to make sense of it.

being in a fandom when the author is still delivering the story is like nothing else. it allows you grow alongside the characters and engage meaningfully with the media and people in the fandom space around you. it feels like you’re participating IN the media itself, especially if you’re interfacing with the creator. it’s in always having something to theorize or talk about and speculate. and people become very aware of these sorts of forgotten story facts because they were applying the logic of the newest official post from hussie into making their sburb ocs or something and share resources and discussion posts about “what just happened in this update?? recap????” it was this cultural osmosis thing. i think this is why homestuck literacy is now at an all time low, at least from what i can see on twitter.

reading homestuck then vs now is like the difference between serialized shows with spaces between episodes to discuss stuff and time to reflect and learn and become attached to the story, narrative, worldbuilding and its characters, vs the netflix model where it’s all dropped all at once and people forget about it after binging.

at this point in time im getting the sense that “homestuck elders” now are no longer just people who were there since 2009-2010, but now also people who were there while it was still updating, probably stretching into 2014-2015. there are many sources of lore that were common knowledge in the fandom at the time that, since becoming susceptible to the deletion of content and link rot, and with the thanosing of mspaforums, are no longer accessible at the source. and a lot of people moved on after it ended, especially following the epilogues, the kate drama, and the whatpumpkin-sarah z drama, leaving a void of information behind if not for archivists and people such as me who continue to keep old facts relevant in discussions. my friend has called me a fandom scholar before and seeing this post i think i get what they mean.

EDIT: there is a series of video essays ive watched multiple times (because theyre that good) and they are exactly what modern fans need to see more of. they really help contextualize the comic and the themes present in it help you appreciate the basic fabric of homestuck a hell of a lot more. i highly recommend them and encourage any fan of homestuck to watch them, or someone considering getting into homestuck to watch the first one.

i think this is arguably as close to the “mandatory literacy class for homestuck” that person was talking about as you can get, especially the first video.

additionally, there is also the website https://rafe.name/homestuck which is essentially a sparknotes for homestuck and can help you follow developments in the comic itself.

[iinsertblognamee]

hi sam

summary ― sam and y/n throughout the years

pairing ― sam kerr x reader

warning/s ― fluff

2012

yn

liked by samanthakerr20, alannakennedy and 103 others yn hi sam

view all 21 comments

alannakennedy so anti-social ⤷ yn she begs me to come over and then sits on her phone the whole time

caitlinfoord how much for you to slap her? ⤷ yn i'd do it for free ⤷ samanthakerr20 she slapped me

samanthakerr20 and i have not been ignoring you this whole time ⤷ yn sure sure

samanthakerr20

liked by caitlinfoord, yn and 132 others samanthakerr20 taken by yn

view all 18 comments

yn you are most welcome

emilyvanegmond10 who's the animal next to indi? ⤷ samanthakerr20 ha ha

caitlinfoord what are you two doing up so late? ⤷ yn sorry mum

yn

liked by alannakennedy, samanthakerr20 and 129 others yn go team!

view all 33 comments

mackenziearnold aww cuties ⤷ yn not as cute as us ⤷ mackenziearnold flirt

samanthakerr20 my favourite cheerleader

caitlinfoord send this through ⤷ yn no x ⤷ caitlinfoord samanthakerr20 fix this

alannakennedy she's my cheerleader samanthakerr20 ⤷ samanthakerr20 funny

samanthakerr20

liked by mackenziearnold, yn and 152 others samanthakerr20 lets gooo

view all 38 comments

yn mackenziearnold my favourite ⤷ mackenziearnold hehe making me blush

samanthakerr20 what is this ? yn

caitlinfoord what is wrong with our faces? ⤷ yn what do you think I've been saying for months now?

emilyvanegmond10 proud

2013

yn

liked by caitlinfoord, samanthakerr20 and 142 others yn don't leave your phone unattended around these three

view all 17 comments

emilyvanegmond10 im innocent ⤷ yn you're literally in the photo ⤷ yn can't get more hard-hitting evidence than this

samanthakerr20 who's the cute one in the middle? ⤷ yn where?

mackenziearnold i wouldn't do that to you yn ⤷ yn i love you ⤷ samanthakerr20 hey

samanthakerr20

liked by mackenziearnold, yn and 138 others samanthakerr20 i think she might be onto something

view all 26 comments

yn i am a genius ⤷ samanthakerr20 i wouldn't go that far

alannakennedy hi pretty lady and samanthakerr20 ⤷ yn mwah ⤷ samanthakerr20 why does everyone flirt with you in my comments? ⤷ caitlinfoord she's hot

mackenziearnold take me next time ⤷ yn is that a date? ⤷ samanthakerr20 no

yn

liked by alannakennedy, samanthakerr20 and 105 others yn i met my celebrity crushes !!! (so jealous that sam got to stand next to them)

view all 14 comments

alannakennedy love meeting our fans!

caitlinfoord i am so jealous ⤷ caitlinfoord how'd samanthakerr20 manage to get a photo with them? ⤷ yn she pushed me out of the way... ⤷ caitlinfoord brutal

mackenziearnold next time i want a photo with you ⤷ mackenziearnold maybe even your number ⤷ yn yes please

samanthakerr20 i hate you all ⤷ yn ouch

samanthakerr20

liked by yn, caitlinfoord and 142 others samanthakerr20 happy birthday lovie

view all 31 comments

caitlinfoord HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BESTIE yn ⤷ yn I LOVE YOU

alannakennedy happy birthday cutie ⤷ yn hehe thanksss

emilyvanegmond10 happy birthday yn !! ⤷ yn hehe thankss em

mackenziearnold did sam force you into that shirt? ⤷ yn yes... ⤷ mackenziearnold i am so sorry ⤷ mackenziearnold i have your birthday gift in my room, if you wanna join me ⤷ samanthakerr20 stop flirting with my girlfriend

2014

yn

liked by emilyvanegmond10, caitlinfoord and 104 others yn maybe she'll this on her phone?

view all 16 comments

caitlinfoord push her

mackenziearnold push her

emilyvanegmond10 push her

alannakennedy push her

yn LATE UPDATE ⤷ yn she saw the post ⤷ yn i pushed her ⤷ yn im now locked in the bathroom ⤷ yn someone help me

samanthakerr20 you can't hide in there forever yn ⤷ yn watch me

samanthakerr20

liked by yn, alannakennedy and 132 others samanthakerr20 why do i like you again?

view all 12 comments

yn cause im pretty ⤷ yn duh

caitlinfoord become a tattoo artist yn ⤷ yn i should aye

alannakennedy do me next ⤷ yn hehe okayyyy ⤷ samanthakerr20 for a tattoo right ⤷ samanthakerr20 right ⤷ alannakennedy if that will make you feel better about it ⤷ alannakennedy than sure

samanthakerr20

liked by caitlinfoord, alannakennedy and 92 others samanthakerr20 just me

view all 7 comments

caitlinfoord call when you can

alannakennedy ❤️

mackenziearnold text me x

2020

samanthakerr20

liked by emilyvanegmond10, caitlinfoord and 36,044 others samanthakerr20 keen

view all 1,937 comments

mackenziearnold blue looks good on you ⤷ samanthakerr20 making me blush ⤷ caitlinfoord red would look so much better

emilyvanegmond10 cheering!

alannakennedy so excited for you sammy

yn liked your post

yn

liked by alannakennedy, samanthakerr20 and 293 others yn spent most of the game teaching her the rules of football

view all 42 comments

yourfriend it's soccer ⤷ yn shutup

yourfriend plus i only went to watch hot girls ⤷ yourfriend sorry not sorry

samanthakerr20 hope you enjoyed the game x

alannakennedy pretty

samkerrnews

liked by 1,289 others samkerrnews "I had an old friend in the crowd today, so I wanted to give her a good show" - Sam to some fans when asked about her celebration after her goal in today's game

view all 28 comments

fan12 old friend... her... okay sam

fan26 jealous knowing that sam has friends that isn't me

fan38 she's so pretty !!

fan57 guys i think i found the friend ⤷ fan57 she's following like half the matildas team and sam ⤷ fan57 and she was at the game today ⤷ fan57 and sam commented on her post ⤷ fan57 her account is yn

samkerrbiggestfan

like by 738 others samkerrbiggestfan guys, i think they used to date??

view all 52 comments

fan12 wot

fan83 that is so cute!!

fan47 gold digger, she comes running back now that sam is getting big

fan39 they seem so cute together

fan31 can we appreciate how small sam is in all of these ??

2021

samanthakerr20

liked by yn, alannakennedy and 192,038 others samanthakerr20 hi yn

view all 3,298 comments

caitlinfoord my parents ⤷ yn hello child ⤷ samanthakerr20 i didn't agree to this

alannakennedy look at you two! ⤷ yn mwah

mackenziearnold i thought you were gonna give us a go yn ⤷ samanthakerr20 never gonna happen ⤷ yn sam don't read this ⤷ yn I'll always be yours mackenziearnold

fan82 so frickin cute!

fan63 im literally in that photo! ⤷ fan63 yn is so sweet ⤷ fan63 she got sam to take a photo with me and my friend ⤷ fan63 and literally let us eat her snacks with her during the game

zeciramusovic but when i do that to yn i get in trouble? ⤷ yn she has such double standards

elliecarpenterr my mums ⤷ yn have you been eating your fruits and veggies? ⤷ samanthakerr20 call us when you get home xx

greiten let me get you one of my jerseys for the next game? ⤷ samanthakerr20 no ⤷ yn awe that would be amazing ⤷ samanthakerr20 no ⤷ yn i could collect the whole team samanthakerr20 ⤷ samanthakerr20 no ⤷ samanthakerr20 kerr is the only name allowed on your back ⤷ yn so possessive ⤷ yn go one further, get me a ring x

2022

yn instagram story

[thewolfruns]

get to know the author!

name : lucia

pronouns :  she/her

preference of communication : i like a tumblr im at first, but then it's discord once we know one another/are mutuals. i'm super adhd/working/a mom, so it's easy for me to lose track thinking i've responded to messages that really i just read and then replied in my head to. so don't be afraid to double message me.

most active muse :  hmmm, i'm not sure who is most active? maybe blanca, since she's a newer one and i'm trying to figure her out.

experience / how many years : oh, gosh. well, i've sort of rped earlier than tumblr, but it was a long time ago. i'd say i started on tumblr in maybe 2013? 2012? i ran a game of thrones fashion blog lmao and an rp hit me up for a promo. i was like, this seems cool and joined. then i joined hellstate in 2015, which was a zombie rp and where i met velouria! we've been writing together ever since both in groups and indie.

best experience : i miss group rp a lot sometimes, because of the shared universe and like community there. i think hellstate was my best experience and like 2015 hellstate was peak. there's so much like shared lore and it's really fun when a group works. velouria has had quite a few amazing brainchildren we've built together, so maybe another fave would be southboundhq, which deserved so much more time! now we work on verses and that's p great. aside from that, i've really been enjoying this account since i started fresh. i've got quite a few people to write with who seem both interested in worldbuilding/their own muses and in mine as well. so thank you all!

rp pet peeves : oh, gosh. weird vocabulary fads? like eyes being called hues. there's nothing really wrong with it, but it makes me laugh at how things like that really catch on in the rpc. when folks don't have much to add in plotting conversations and it feels sort of like you're the only one keeping the conversation going. i feel too awkward! i can't do it!

fluff, angst, or smut : oh, gosh, angst. i don't write smut and i'm not really super into fluff either? unless it's like a little meme answer or drabble, which can be a nice refresher. but i'm here for the horror and drama okay.

plots or memes : i like a loose plot, but i'm very go with the flow. it's more exciting though to have an idea where we're going with something. i think that's why my open starters are so long lmao because i need to paint a clear picture of where it's going.

long or short replies : i like a short reply for when i'm trying to break out of a writer's block or, like right now, dusting off my writing cap. they almost always turn into much longer replies though. i can't stop myself. i want like 87 paragraphs and i have no chill.

time to write : has to be nighttime, babies. i have a pretty great couple hours like 8 nights a month where i can really get to writing. it's always after my kiddo goes to sleep and my spouse is working (unless we're like parallel playing and he's gaming or cooking or something, then i get a little more time).

are you like your muses : oh, there's definitely aspects of myself in most of my muses. or people i know. or i write muses to work through certain things (i.e. neve has a lot of job similarities/family history for working through some trauma, nadja has some old punk rock memories and sort of an amalgamation of old friends and my mom, miguel has sort of similar personality to my partner, etc.) i sort of just steal elements from myself or people i know and mold them together into someone new. but i don't think i share like an overall personality with any of them.

tagged by: @missmvrder

tagging: @someotherdog , @wynterlanding , @mutatedangels , @peachyuus , @mctionsick , @aliasmultimuse , and anybody else! tagging folks gives me anxiety lmao. i hate leaving people out.

[wellthatwasaletdown]

"What was he like? Was he arrogant as he has always been?"

i hope my following observation and analysis is cohesive. I wasnt around for the xfactor days either (because im American), but I've been around since WMYB got big in the US, and I've watched hours and hours worth of interviews from the boys over the years. In the beginning, Harry didn't come off as arrogant at all. Mod mentioned his sort of cupcake image in the early days and I think some of that image was actually genuine at the time. I think Harry was legitimately the baby and 'little brother' of the band, regardless of liam and niall being technically only a few months older. Harry was the least mature of the group, just based off of the fact that he often crossed boundaries and said/did things that he probably should've, at his age, knew were inappropriate. This is not me trying to insult him, but I think he lacked common sense a lot of the time, and in general was a bit socially unaware of himself and how to act -> cue him copying pretty much everyone he spends any time around.

They all were immature teen boys in the beginning (naturally), but I think with Harry, some of the things he did were for the approval of others and because he desperately wanted to fit in. This made him vulnerable and insecure. There are so many instances in interviews at the beginning of the band where harry says or does something and then immediately looks at the boys to see if whatever he did was 'ok.' And in some of these instances, he'd be met with a disapproving headshake or look, most times from Liam, Louis, or Zayn (to which he'd usually pout about and stop what he's doing)... However, join the need for people to like you with not having 'street smarts' and also a love of attention, and you've got the harry that started manifesting in 2012.

Essentially, when the band got huge in 2012-2013, Harry was flooded with not only the attention he'd always been seeking out, but praise and adoration. He didn't need approval from the boys at that point because he got it from outside sources, i.e. the fans and the music exec leaches constantly telling him how great he was. It then blew up his head and he started to believe his own hype.

Because of his insecurity led needs, he was a very easy target for someone like Jeff and his family. He was insecure, naive (not street smart enough to know not everyone has pure intentions), and attention hungry. All they had to do was promise him the moon and he was in. I dont think Jeff is the worst human ever, but I think he knew exactly what he was doing by befriending the easiest person in the band to manipulate. i'm sure to some extent harry and jeff are good friends, but that doesn't mean that jeff wasn't playing harry at the same time. I'm sure Jeff made Harry feel good by hyping his head when they first met. We know Harry clings on to people who are useful to him (even if that use is just feeding his ego). This is probably how they became quick friends, and eventually business partners.

The over-praising and adoration has only continued to grow and get worse from those days. Harry genuinely believes it all because to not believe would put him back in that inferiority mindset that he had back before all the fame and adoration– and he can't let himself go there again. That's where the arrogance is from. It's a projection and mask for the fear that the feeling of inferiority is the actual truth.

.

[trashcatsnark]

Ooooh, gimmie those juicy, juicy Johnny backstory headcanons 👀👀👀

Okay, so I always feel kind of bad? I guess, talking about my ideas of his backstory because A) I feel like they’re very cliche, 

B) I know I don’t know every drop of TTRPG Lore, despite that not truly being canon to the game a lot of the time and also the cyberpunk universe timeline is kinda a mess, so i just do whatever i want (like samurai’s starting when he was 15 and also when the war he served in started, like the amount of overlap between the war and samurai’s active years is insane and the game can’t decide when Johnny was a soldier and when he was a grungy rocker)  

C) given CDPR still plans to expand on the game with DLC and stuff, I know it’s fully possible that my ideas will be debunked in the coming months. 

So, take all of these ideas with a grain of salt and as always if your headcanons conflict with mine; that’s cool that’s why they’re headcanons

I feel like Johnny had a rough childhood firstly, cause in the immortal words of Linda Belcher;  “Look at how you stand. People who had good childhoods don't stand like that.” Like everything about him screams shitty childhood. My brain for some reasons specifically imagines, alcoholic abusive father and enabling compliant mother. Which, again, I know is the cliche of shitty childhood backstories, but it is cliche largely because its an unfortunately common reality. I imagine his first guitar is probably one of the only nice gifts he ever got and music was largely an escape. I came up with the idea too of his father having been a blue collar worker who was injured on the job; unable to work afterwards, given barely anything for workers comp and ongoing unemployment. Leaving the family struggling financially. Fucked over by his employers, turning to abusing pills and alcohol to cope with pain and raging at Johnny and Johnny’s mother. Teaching and instilling habits that would follow Johnny too. 

I like the idea of Johnny and Kerry meeting first as kids, junior high to high school. And between the years of at least 13-15, the earliest conception stages of samurai started. And I do mean the earliest, messiest, barebones stages of Samurai; it was basically two teenage boys playing and scream singing their unrefined lyrics in a garage. Cause they were kids and just wanted something to do, something to get their mind off the shitstorm of life. Maybe, i debate internally, they do manage to meet Nancy, Denny, and Henry maybe they all grew up in Texas and with someone more competent even at their young ages, Nancy manages to get them actually going a bit as a young band. A few little underground grungy gigs playing at bars they weren’t old enough to drink in. 

Now again, formation of Samurai and Johnny serving in the war, lead to like the biggest question marks in his backstory because nothing lines up very well. The war he served in started when he was fifteen, albeit that’s not for sure when he enlisted. Given we’ve been told children can in universe be scouted by corps to be their soliders; its not out of the realm of possibility that he served before he was 18 and was drafted as a child. But. Johnny specifically states he enlisted, that he made that choice. I’ve stated before that given how long the war lasted, its fully possible he enlisted at 18, served so much of the last four years of the war then ditched following his friend dying for him. 

However, I have also considered and really do personally like the idea, that Johnny did enlist himself and did so prior to being 18, though not as young as 15. Because, he forged his documents to enlist. There’s incidents and documentation of people as young as 15 faking their birth certificates and high school diplomas in order to enlist. I could absolutely see a 16-17 year old Johnny, frustrated with life and thinking he could have a bigger impact in the world in the military, forging his documents and enlisting. This leads to of course Samurai breaking up for that time. 

He serves around 4-5 years, deserting and leaving around 2009. Spends his month spinning his wheels and staring at the Pistis Sofia. He comes out of his funk and is ready to send his message about the dangers of corps to the world and he knows just how to do it. Fully adopts the name Johnny Silverhand and goes to track down his old friend Kerry. Samurai is freshly reformed. 

Right around that same time, he meets Rogue. (which even this is fucky in canon????? Rogue says lets pretend its 2015 and idk what a bastard you are, Alt died in 2013, he’d already cheated on Rogue by then???? ANYWAY) They meet about the 2009-2010 mark as Samurai is coming back together. Personally, I like to imagine they met while she was on the job. She had to eliminate a target who happened to be at the venue Samurai was doing a gig and Johnny managed to stumble upon her snapping the guy’s neck or something. And she thinks her covers blown, but hahaha Johnny’s into that and is like “hey, you want a drink?” and is then like determined to get with her and they fall into a relationships. Then around 2011-2012 he fucks it all up, cheats, there in my opinion is definite overlap in his relationship with Rogue and his relationship with Alt. 

I also feel like he met Alt at a samurai gig? I can’t remember the TTRPG lore of it, but I feel like in general Johnny met most of the women he had relationships with at Samurai gigs, partially cause he’s a just...a liitle egotistical. Alt however was there as someone who was genuinely into the music, (Rogue at one point in canon condescendingly calls her a groupie and I can’t but feel there’s a bit of truth in thats how it started). But Johnny started to legitimately feel things for her, but being Johnny, he never properly articulated that and always had to keep fucking it up. They fall into a pretty whiplashy toxic relationship over the course of a year or two where they do genuinely feel for each other, but Johnny can’t ever let his walls down enough to tell her that in earnest and is constantly doing things to fuck up the relationship, cause he’s a dick. Until in 2013, well, we know what happens. 

Johnny has to spend some time with nomads, (probably after releasing Never Fade Away, because I do see this man as the kind of guy to postpone going in hiding just to release his song for Alt before doing so) as do Rogue and Santiago after the attack on Arasaka. Because Johnny’s busy trying not to be spotted. They wait for the heat to die down before Johnny comes back to Night City. Him and Rogue rekindle things for a time, but it ultimately is on and on and dies out again, because Johnny is stinky bastard man. Kerry had already been talking about going solo and by the time Johnny’s back in the city he had and Johnny does his solo thing for a while too. But ultimately Samurai reforms for a bit, in 2020, neither Kerry or Johnny quite ready to let it go yet. Somewhere also during this, Spider Murphy helps deliver a message from Alt about her status and asking him to let it go. He does not and joins the Morgan Blackhand mission to attack Arasaka Tower in hopes of saving Alt’s construct in the process. 

Thats the barebones of some of my thoughts and headcanons; Im sure some are not lore compliant, I’m sure my timeline is messy and clashes horrifcally with CDPR’s also messy timeline. But, these are some of my thoughts, headcanons and ideas that will probably be defunct and pointless in a week. 

[jongdality]

me thinkin' about how i've grown up with exo and watched as they lived and learned and developed as professionals and humans, overcoming the struggles of a poor debut concept and scandal after scandal with their tenacity and love for each other

Then thinkin' about how Kyungsoo, a somewhat aloof, awkward and weird boy who decided to be bold and try out for SM after old people at karaoke competitions told him to and he made 8 brothers for life who love him dearly and support him and his antics and his acting career and call him cute no matter how much he says he isn't good at anything and that he's boring and Manly and how he has starred in a full-ass movie and is partially credited as breaking the "idol-actor" stereotype and writes love songs with chanyeol on the DL that chanyeol reveals on his lives and wrote the lyrics to a lovely, comforting song for us before leaving to join the military so he can become an even bigger star in multiple films once he gets out

Then thinkin' about how bbh, an outgoing boy who flicked lights on and off to make his friends giggle, met a friend for life, kjd, on the very same day they both were to audition to get into a group that was about to debut, how he worked hard to break down barriers in the group and became the moodmaker, and how people thought he was bad at dancing because he hadn't had time to train but actually every solo dance he's been given he's slayed to the point that he became the CENTER FOR CBX, how he worked hard to learn piano in a very short amount of time to play The Answer for his EXO-Ls, how even after an early scandal in which is privacy was invaded he still looks at us with such love and protection and is NOW an amazing solo artist who texts the exo group chat saying he misses them so much

Then thinkin' about Suho. Kim frickin' Joonmyeon. The underdog of the entire group. Born rich, charismatic and well-educated, could have been ANYTHING but CHOSE to train for SEVEN YEARS due to his love of music. You guys. When Baek and another member got into trouble for cussing while playing video games sometime in 2012-2013 and a sasaeng threatened to reveal the voice clips of them cussing purportedly to apink members, joonmyeon texted her personally, so cold, so professional, "are you blackmailing us? If you release the clip you won't be forgiven" big fuckin dad energy, worked so hard on his singing and dancing yet still asks not to be given too many lines or placed center too often, gives up his seats for his members ALWAYS, accepted their first awards show win alone stoic and professional as the boys broke down in the back room after the news of kris leaving broke, now has multiple solo songs and acts and is literally set to be higher-level management at SM due to all his hard work, definitely puts out that goofy mom energy but is actually extremely intelligent, protective and the go-to guy for all the members and this para has no point i just think kim joonmyun deserves everything

Remembering that chanyeol has a famous sister and is a multitalented instrumentalist that didn't actually need to become an idol, but he did because he wanted "brothers", how he skyrocketed an entire foot from debut til now, how he's all teeth and ears and big anime eyes and legs and he's confident and happy after years of struggling w his weight and self-image, makin music and writing lyrics and modeling for tommy hilfiger and riding scooters in paris and despite the fact that he can't dance he tries, despite the fact that he didn't audition to be a rapper he became one of korea's best, how he turns into a little kid every time he's around any small animal and just tries to cuddle and feed it as he coos in his Low Man Voice, his tough raps but then his soft exo station song SSFW, and now exo-sc with his bestie and ACTING!!!

Thinkin' about Xiumin. Xiumin who came in as a vocalist and ended up being one of the best dancers in the group (even tho he hits the highest notes!!!). Xiumin who is the oldest and wisest but is still willing to throw that ass back to havana to make cbx laugh. Xiumin who is korea's pick, who kids and ahjummas alike fall for. Xiumin who is beautiful and quiet and humble and supports his brothers from the sidelines, who is so loving and caring, who released an adorable solo that matches him so well and is now winning fckn awards in military training for being so goddamn amazing. Xiumin who attends TVXQ concerts and supports all of his fellow celebrities. Mark's dad. Amazing man. Says he has no friends outside of exo but literally everyone loves him. Dedicated his formative years to the group even when he wasn't spotlighted like he deserves to be and-

Lay. That's it. That's the paragraph. He came in not speaking Korean and is now one of the top-grossing musicians in all of China. Breaking barriers. Learning languages in a matter of months. Solo albums out the wazoo that he composed. Coming back to wish Kyungsoo goodbye even though he hasn't been on a stage with them in years. Didn't leave, although I'm sure he was mistreated just as much as the members who did. All of exo loves him so fucking much.

Kai. Kai who could have been a professional ballet dancer, could have been a full-time model, debuts as the SCREAMO BOY in mama. Gets made fun of for his skin complexion. Is shy and embarrassed for the first 2 or 3 years of exo interviews, and is still pretty shy and introverted. But boy became the fucking IDOL'S IDOL. FANCAMS GOING VIRAL LEFT AND RIGHT. SUSTAINING INJURIES, CRYING WHEN HE MESSES UP AN EXTREMELY DIFFICULT DANCE ROUTINE TO "I SEE YOU". Is such a perfectionist to the point of pushing himself into constant injury, and besides that has had his personal life broadcasted all over the news MULTIPLE times even though he's so shy and withdrawn irl. People cry to meet him, now. Front and center of every exo dance. A dancing god and the reason half of NCT auditioned. I cannot emphasize how proud I am of Kai, who is only a few months older than sehun yet has had to grow up so fast as the face of the group. Solo during the olympics with plantar fasciitis. Model who stuns at every Gucci show in new and experimental designs.

Sehun. Oh fuckin' Sehun. Ran away from recruiters because his mom told him not to talk to strangers, and now he's modelling for every major fashion campaign, is on the cover of vogue, has his dream dog and certifiably has the biggest dick of all exo members. Became a main dancer through hard work and practice even though nobody ever talks about how hard osh works bc he's sort of overshadowed by kai. Insecure about his singing voice but makes crowds go wild every time he even croons out one beautiful, dulcet line. Babied by junmyeon, kissed and coddled by all the exo members, still has Big Baby Energy but is debuting in a group with his fellow chaotic neutral yeol and looking all sexy with his swooped back hair and his 0 follows on insta. Sings in We Young and raps his little heart out. His solo during concerts still shake my very uterus and im pretty sure he's gay. That's how powerful ohs is, and he can only go up from here.

And finally my baby boy kim jongdae. Chanyeol once said Jongdae is so nice that he comes off as stupid and that is absolutely positively true. Boy is the manifestation of the john mulaney quote "you could pour soup on my lap and id apologize to you". Is a ray of fucking sunshine whose only goal as he was singing in that video from high school was to "become a singer". It's his passion. It's the reason he LIVES. He prays to jesus before every concert but worships music. One of THE best vocalists in the game with the cleanest and most controlled voice, sings in the shower, sings in the car, sings while walking to pet some deer, sings because he loves it and now he's a soloist with his own album out and another in the works, and not only that, he dances his feet on fire in CBX and exo routines and remains steady to hit those high notes. Duets abound because everyone loves him. Will tell a bitch to back off when talking about his private life bc he's probably a husband with 6 happy, healthy children at home. Started out as the nervous boy chasing a dream on that fateful day with bbh and became the nation's pick, sings CONSTANTLY, yet is still so humble he opens up a yt channel just to cover other artists' songs. MCs for Baekhyun's solo and shows up to all his performances to monitor. Heart of gold. Smiles when he's hurting. Deserves this solo career and deserves the happiest life this world can provide him.

Words aren't enough to express how grateful I am for these men, how proud I am and how much I just want them to know that we know how hard they've worked to get as far as they have. Compare them to any other group, even other SM groups, and it's clear that their passion, drive, skill and professionalism is unrivaled. They are all born artists and musicians down to their core, and with that, they're all kind, sweet people who are who they are because they debuted as 18, 19, 20, etc year old men 7 years ago and have grown up together, suffered together, celebrated together and loved together. They've switched up sounds, concepts, gone experimental, have created some of the most beautiful ballads and harmonies music has ever seen, and they strive for nothing but the best. ALWAYS. They have never disappointed me, and they never fail to inspire me every time they show the fruits of all their labor (as well as multiple creative people and teams that come together to create EXO) onstage as one.

Exo we are one, saranghaja.

[porchwood]

Hi just so I understand cause i keep waiting for it and it doesnt seem likely to happen have you kind of fallen out of love with wtm? and everlark in general tbh? cause ive been following you for a while now and you always had lil quotes and pictures and things that reminded you inspired you whatever it was about katniss and wtm and now alllll it is is gadge i followed you because personally i love what you did with everlark and im just wondering if thats gone and not foreseeable any time soon?

I’ve been thinking a lot about how to answer this… It’s afair question - to a point. If you’re more of a drop-in person (like me) thanlive-on-the-dash, coming back to find my blog awash in Gadge might have beenquite upsetting. There are several reasons for the current state of things:

1. Life has been driving me into the ground since December26, 2013. (Yes, going on six straight years.) If you were a WtM reader from thebeginning, you may recall that I was pretty energetic and prolific in 2012-2013.Oh, there were tough times, but nothing like what started on the aforementioneddate (a car accident where I was in the “bystander” vehicle and it still got totaled)and has continued relentlessly ever since. Sometimes adversity leads to greatcreativity and sometimes it turns you into a depressed, exhausted, reclusivelump, and the past 5+ years have seen periods of both from me. These past 18months have been exceptionally awful (and expensive), resulting in very littlewriting at all, about any pairing.

2. Writing WtM takes a lot out of me. I don’t know whether thisis common knowledge or not, but it’s the gospel truth. I love that world, Ilove that version of Everlark, but every chapter requires so much hard work, itmakes me tired just to think of it. Not to mention, over the past couple of chaptersEverlark have been pushing for more intimacy than the plot/timeline allows, andso I’ve been struggling with how I want to handle that. Do I fight them andstick to the plan? (I can’t advance the timeline for several reasons.) Do I tryto figure out a cheat for them? They’ve got minds of their own and have changedmy plans multiple times, but this is something they genuinely can’t have, and Ihave to fight them on it. ☹ Which is sad, frustrating, and exhausting.

3. I’m a multi-pairing shipper, and have been from about 3chapters into WtM. Which means that my Everlark fics almost always feature asecondary pairing (or more than one), and sometimes I’ll get a plot bunny for afic about a pairing other than Everlark. Most writers in the THG fandom exclusivelywrite their OTP, whatever the plot bunny, but I find that some plot bunnies don’tfit Everlark as well as they do another pairing. (This is why I’ll never write aBeauty and the Beast Everlark fic unless Katniss is the “Beast,” if you will.)

4. The Everlark fandom is…tricky. I’ve never fit in there. Idon’t write Everlark the way the majority of fans see them (except for Peetabeing “sweet,” I guess), I hated the movies (I refuse to see MJ 1 or 2), and I’vemanaged to really rub some people the wrong way over the years –unintentionally, and for a variety of reasons – all of which leaves me feeling kinda down about Everlark in general. Don’t misunderstand me: I love Everlarkand WtM, but it’s really isolating to be this sad little island of unpopularopinions and unwelcome side-ships. That’s the part I really wish I could makeyou understand. For six years I’ve had Christopher Plummer in my head saying, “You’llnever be one of them,” and he’s so, cruelly, right. I want to cry every time Ithink of Embracing the Season (my E-rated Everlark modern AU oneshot for Lovein Panem - lots of daring for me!) because I poured heart and soul into that andit still wasn’t the Everlark that people wanted.

5. About a year and a half ago (when Strawberry Time reallytook off of its own accord) I participated in Gadge Day 2017, working my buttoff to find and schedule (and tag) over 100 carefully chosen Gale/Madge/Gadge aestheticposts, and for lack of a better way to say it: it turned on my Gadge-dar. After that, thosekinds of posts just leapt out at me whenever I had a chance to scroll, and forseveral months I wasn’t sure what to do with that. With a little encouragementfrom @ghtlovesthg, I came up with #march madgeness – wherein I turned my Tumblrinto Madge/Gadge-land for one month, and it was a blast. (Side-stepping Gadgefor a moment: Madge is a highly underappreciated and underused character,especially in fic/on Tumblr and I love splashing the dash with Madge-love.) Thenext month I launched a run of pent-up Everlark posts (i.e., regularprogramming), but I missed my Madge, so I instituted #madge monday – one day aweek when I could splash the dash with Madge/Gadge. At every juncture I gavepeople tags to block if they didn’t want to see this content (though I stillget unfollows every time I post, alas). I participated in last summer’s THG Reread– on the fringe of it, but my posts (reblogs and meta) were strongly Everlark-focusedagain during that time. So there’s definitely still been Everlark on my blog,but if you’re just dropping in (or for that matter, glancing at my archive), you’regoing to see a majority of Madge/Gadge.

6. Frankly, Gadge is fun. It’s a completely different dynamicthan Everlark, with less pressure to create something transcendent, and whenthe chips are down, I’m more likely to work on something that isn’t my six-years-runningopus. This spring, in the midst of lots of awfulness, I finally wrote a piecethat I’ve had in my head for years – The Best Part of Waking Up – with a differentpairing featured in each drabble “chapter,” including Gadge, Luka/Johanna (whoI’ve been wanting to put out there for AGES) and Jack/Raisa. I haven’t beenable to write quickly in years, and I think I finished those three “chapters”in about two days, maybe three. I completed the Raisa drabble in a couple ofhours and I consider it one of the best things I’ve ever written. (Honestly, ifa pairing was going to topple Everlark in my heart, it would be Jack/Raisa, i.e.,Mr. Everdeen/Mrs. Mellark. I love them to distraction.) Once upon a time I could drabble/sprint Everlark too – notoften, but I could manage it. Maybe it’ll happen again someday, but for thetime being, when I write in quick eager bursts, it’s usually about aside-pairing.

7. Because I just need to say it: about a year ago, I set up a secondary Tumblr for almost all my side-interests and ships outside of THG. When I first joined Tumblr, porchwood was just a fun page where I posted whatever struck my fancy (pretty things, funny things, whatever I liked), and over the next few years, I honed it into a pretty “writer’s notebook” for WtM and my other THG fics (related quotes, aesthetic posts, writing check-ins, etc.). When Star Wars: The Force Awakens came out, I shared a handful of posts pertaining to a new ship (not a new direction for my blog or writing, just sharing my excitement) and it was made very clear to me that people didn’t want to see that content on my page. So when I started watching Voltron: Legendary Defender, I had a sneaking suspicion people wouldn’t want to hear about those ships either. So I started an entirely new Tumblr for that content, and every so often I accidentally post something to the wrong page, which I immediately correct in horror, but people still unfollow. Point being: this blog is THG (and a few personal life updates) ONLY, with a pretty consistent aesthetic. I hide literally everything else that I’m interested in so you don’t have to be bothered by it. Is it really so unacceptable for me to have side-ships (complementary to the main pairing, not threatening to them) in the same universe??

8. Believe it or not, I’ve been working on WtM all along,just not making any massive strides. I tried to chip away at the current chapterduring Camp Nanowrimo last July, and it was a disaster. I thought joining awriting group would be helpful, but I didn’t realize that Camp Nano is basicallya lot of writing sprints in which you try to churn out as many words aspossible, which you then report to your “cabin” – and that’s the onlyinteraction with your fellow writers. I can’t write like that anymore (seeabove) and especially not when it comes to WtM, so I got discouraged veryquickly and sort of drifted away. I reattempted Nano on my own in April and wrotealmost 15K words, but in that instance I was really just using the Nano platform toset and reach a goal (which I didn’t ☹ ); I wasn’t in a cabin and didn’t interact with anyother writers, except my friend @ghtlovesthg, who read the finished portion.

9. I want to finish this dang chapter so much, and frankly, theonly way that’s going to happen is if life gets a little better and I holemyself up with my laptop for hours on end for weeks at a time – and somemagical being comes to support/cheer/comfort me while I do so. It’s currentlysitting at about 25K and I anticipate it will need to be at least double that,which is beyond ridiculous, but that’s the nature of WtM. The chapters are asmany words as it takes.

TL, DR: I still love Everlark and I’m still working on WtM, but my life has been extremely difficult for a very long time and I don’t have a great Everlark lifeline. Gadge and all my other ships are fun, and most of the Gadge you see on my Tumblr is aesthetic stuff for themed days/months/occasions. Anything non-THG goes on my sideblog.

[princedez]

Journey as a pagan witch

The pagan road. It's been quite a journey for me. My grandma that raised me was a Mexican catholic. She came to the US when there wasnt many Spanish speakers and she met a Cuban lady. Cuban lady taught her about saint magic and how to cleanse with an egg and reading cards and learning some herbs from wicca books and hoodoo books in español. I read these books as early as 10 and was confused how in Catholicism they said we had only 1 God and how in a wicca book there were many, such as Aphrodite.

Then at 13 when i was an unsatisfied atheist i met a guy that showed me his book on Wicca. So i thought "this is it. It speaks to my heart!" And i started buying Llewyn books from Barnes and Noble and calling myself a Wiccan. Until at 17 i joined a site called Wiccantogether.com and learned actual Wiccans are only wiccan if they get initiated into a British Traditional Wiccan coven. So i started calling myself a neo pagan.

I got locked up and could only remember the goddess Kali and the Great Mother Goddess type figure in Wicca. It didnt help me. I kinda went agnostic but never stopped believing in witchcraft.

In 2012 i met a theistic satanist for lack of a better word and i tried to convert to please him. Learned about the Goetia but they werent for me.

Then in 2013 or 2014 i learned about Traditional Withcraft, more specifically British Traditional witchcraft and even joined a coven which i got kicked out of. But on my own time started praising Dionysus here and there after learning of Him through the first season of True Blood.

Now that I've made my devotion official, Im being led to start praising His retinue too. Which is interesting because Im finding deities like us to meet their family and friends.

Im still not calling myself a Hellenic polytheist because i believe all the gods are real somehow and i have some curiousity about Gaulish polytheism and Celtic polytheism because on my white side I have a lot of French and a little bit from the UK too. And i do read into Aztec mythology even though most of my native ancestors were Chichimec which meant in Nahuatl (sp?) "The barbarians".

Tw: r*pe

But last week a friend of mine was raped similar to how i was raped the first time. She didnt wanna report so i asked if i could curse him. A peer of mine as a Dionysus devotee tried to tell me we cant do anything for justice, not being priests/priestesses, he was coming from the tradition of Bacchic-Orphism. Not witchcraft and felt we need Foundation before becoming witches (but that dont seem to be the case with secular witches i find). He said all i should be doing right now is devotional stuff. Praying.

But i couldnt just twidle my thumbs and do nothing other than pray for healing, after i told my friend I'd curse the guy. Because these fuckers abusing the sacred drink (alcohol) to enact violence deserve to face consequences.

So i went around my peer's advice and decided "oh..but what if i devote this work to Hecate?"

It's not my first time attempting a spell that asks for a deity's help, because a lot of wicca books with spells success those kind. But it was my first time trying to ask a deity for help in a spell that was also a friend or apart of "Dionysus retinue" and i wasnt sure how it'd go.

I asked Hecate for help in it.....and i got a pretty damn creepy eye from the candle wax. I took it to mean, someone seen or heard me...this may be a sign of success. A Hellenic witch told me my first impressions are likely the meaning.

I just gotta say, it feels weird to know I've been a polytheist since 2006 but only now the gods are making themselves known in my life (my UPG, secular witches are totally my friends yo). And i imagine including deities in my magic is gonna make my magic different...but it does feel kinda good to know Hecate has seen this rapist's face and approved of my actions. God approval is pretty validating to know i did the right thing (imo).

I'd like to know other people's evolutions as a pagan and/or witch, because i dont imagine im the only one thats had quite a journey and i have met people go from polytheist to atheist.

[shidiand]

How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.

[letsimportanttreecollection-blog]

Birmingham Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 44816

"Birmingham Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 44816

Birmingham Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 44816

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Most rentals have a list of dog breeds you cant have because insurance wont cover certain breeds that are bite prone. Anyone know how I can find this list?

Cheap Car Insurance For Young Adult?

I am 19. I just bought a car that needs to be plated. Its a 2002 Daewoo. (model name Lanos). I need to know the cheapest insurance I can put on the car. Ive never had any tickets or violations or trouble with the law. Ive never even been pulled over. I live in Indiana. Any suggestions please let me know. Also, I just moved to Lake Station from Elkhart. I guess you have to go through emissions to get plates but since its an 02 I dont believe I need to do it this year. However, I may plan on going back to Elkhart & thats where my lincence is from. Could I tell the BMV that and they plate it as Elkhart? & I wont even have to go through emissions?""

Whats the best and cheapest car insurance?

Whats the best and cheapest car insurance?

Should I get Car Insurance before I get my N?

My parents want me to get a car, and insurance for that car. So i can learn on it and get My N. They wont teach me on their car. But you see. I think it would be a waste of money to get insurance for my car considering I would be learning on it maybe once a week. And for three months of insurance, it is $400. Honestly, I think it would be best to take lessons, get my N, then get a car and insurance. But I wanted another opinion. Any advice you can offer would be great. Thank You!""

Rental car insurance?

Recently, I had a car accident. The car I drove was fine however the back of right bumper of the parked car was cracked and torn off. I was reversing parking and accidentally pushed the gas pedal hard. I talked to the owner of car and he said he will contact his insurance. The car I was driving was a rental car from hertzondemand.( Insurance was covered in the rate) Hertz said I have to submit the collision report from police station. I am seriously horrified of thousands of dollar that I probably have to pay. I do not own a car nor automobile insurance. But I do have an amex gold rewards which has Damage Insurance but I dont think it covers for the car I hit as well. I have been reading XII.LIABILITY PROTECTION under terms and condition over and over again but it gets me more confusing.https://www.hertz247.com/alberta/en-...20of%20Alberta Am I gonna pay for $250 and rest of them will be taken cared by hertz? Can someone clarify XII.LIABILITY PROTECTION?""

INSURANCE ON A 1986 MUSTANG GT?

I TRIED TO GET A QUOTE ON ALL STATE BUT the only years i have 2 choose from is 1995 - 2010 so can i get insurance with a regular company or do i need to get classic car insurance

My car got totalled and my car insurance expired. HELP!!!?

My brother totaled my car and i cant get it fixed because my car insurance expired. Can I wait to get my insurance renewed and get it fixed or just forget about it and get a new car under a new insurance policy?

Car insurance for a learner...?

im 17 now and want to start learning to drive. But what i want to do is buy a car, then get insured on it as a learner and have my dad take me out driving to teach me. i want a car like a peugeot 206, renault clio, vauxhall corsa, a ford KA or something small like that. does anybody know how much insurance will be for me as a learner? also im female if that helps!?""

Does it cost to cancel car insurance?

I have state farm insurance and I was wondering if there was a fee for canceling the insurance. Like with cell phones for example.

What would be the cheapest auto insurance for me? i am 19 and drive a 1998 camaro z28?

What would be the cheapest auto insurance for me? i am 19 and drive a 1998 camaro z28?

Need help with car insurance. ?

Im 16 and got my first car, i have been looking for a place to get cheap car insurance .... please tell me some good places to get the absolute cheapest car insurance.""

""Do traffic schools, particularly in California, prevent an increase in auto insurance rates?

I just received my first traffic ticket :(

Can I sue Insurance company for not insuring my husband as agreed on the phone?

I didn't receive the policy and my husband drove unknowingly uninsured as a named driver. The police stopped him and took the car. Could I claim breach of contract? How much compensation would I get? What kind of solicitors should I contact - no win no fee type preferably....

Had a accident no insurance Also no my car?

Ok well as my question states. I was in a car accident and i have no way to pay for insurance. the other driver is fine we are just waiting for the report. The police did not ask me anything about my insurance. The other part of this is that this car s my ex car he was letting me use. So im wondering is he going to get in to trouble and what am i looking at? Hopefully someone expirenced can help thanks.

Classic car insurance for 17 year old?

i really wanna drive, and i dont really have a taste for most modern motors. so ive been looking at an 80's mk2 fiesta. i think its a sweet motor, a 1.1 is a good size engine for cost cutting and the XR2 models look like a great starter/driver car. though a look alike would be fine! problem is i cant find classic insurance that will insure a young driver on a classic insurer policy. any help, names i should call? all help appreciated!!!""

How can I get a lower price for car insurance?

I'm 20 years old and I'm about to get my car this weekend (hopefully) as well as my license hopefully by the 3rd week in may. And what insurance companies would you recommend?

Birmingham Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 44816

Birmingham Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 44816

Would insurance be higher on suv/truck or car/sedan?

For example Mitsubishi Montero Sport vs Volkswagen passat, Nissan maxima, or Mitsubishi galant.""

How much would insurance cost for a yamaha r6?

I'm 16, male, and I live in va. And the insurer would be gieco. Thanks""

Can i get insurance on my car with out a licence?

Im 18..and i have a car..i dont have a licence yet...only my permit..so can i still get insurance on the car with out a licence?

How much on insurance do you think this car would be?

Hey everyone, A little background on me first. I'm 18 and a female. I work at Popeyes (maybe Kohl's soon) and I am looking at getting a 370Z Nissan. The car ( with the features I want done to it ) costs about $45,000. I'm just wondering how much insurance will cost and if I can just stick with Popeyes or have to get a second job. I wont be getting the car till another 3 months because I need to save u for a down payment but I didn't know how much insurance will cost. If you guys have any clue please let me know. Thank you so much(: -Tayson""

How much should I expect for car insurance in New York City?

I'm 20 a full time student and I was looking to buy a used car. I was looking for a Honda Prelude 1996-99 and I just got my license this month. Around how much would I be likely to pay for it per month? I tried getting a quote online but they haven't been able to make one for me. I'll probably get a car around September and was just wondering how much I would be paying for the insurance. Thanks!

Car insurance for 17year old help?

basically i want online to see how much it cost to insure a 1.2 corsa but everytime i go on insurance sites i get quotes around the price range of 6000 but my friend got his corsa insured for around 1 grand and he is the same age as me, he now drives a ford focus which is a 1.6 but he pays 1.6grand so i was wondering why, what am i doing wrong? do i have to call the up to get a cheaper quote because no matter what i input on insurance site to make it cheaper it still ends up come up around 6grand.""

What is the cheapest car insurance ?

for a ford mondeo 1998. Thank you.

What are the costs of running a car?

Firstly, I'm in the UK. I want to know if I can afford a car, so I need to know what you have to pay for. At the moment I'm aware of insurance, the cost of the vehicle (and petrol) and MOT. Are there any other costs I have to take into account? Thank you.""

What kind of Life Insurance is out there for the Elderly? 70 years old and up.

I've seen some on TV and for the life of me, I can't remember all of what's out there. So far, there is no life insurance on my husband's mother and he and I are wanting to take out life insurance on her. What kind of life insurance is out there for ppl 70 years and up that does not require a medical background? She has a bad hip, smokes like a turned over train, and she hasn't had a physical in aprox. 15-20 years. And she has no assets of any kind to help with expenses if she should pass unexpectantly. This is why my husband and I feel that it is important that we take out Life Insurance on her. Thank you for your help. :-)""

Classic car insurance?

I'm a young driver, no previous accidents, honor student, plan on driving something close to, if not exactly, a 1965 Type 2 Volkswagen Bus and can't find much information on insurance. I've queried my insurance agent, but I'm a bit impatient for results, haha, and also I'd like to see what other people with classic cars have done about this dilemma. :) Thanks for reading.""

Car insurance per month?

I was just wondering if any one could give me a close estimate on how much car insurance would cost a month if you drove a 2003 Cadillac CTS & were 16 years old. The car is used. Please don't say depends what insurance company you have. Thank you.

How can I get affordable health insurance because of obama care?

I work but i have 2 kids to support and I Make Minimum Wage.. plus rent and bills.. Does anyone have any suggestions about how i could possibly get health care or what will happen if I just simply cant afford it? And no smart *** remarks like get a better paying job. Jobs are hard to find where I Live and i am making it with what i have. But obama forcing us to have health insurance is making me wonder what Options i have. Medicare? or some kind of afforable health insurance? would love to hear people who are in the same boat i am. and any POSITIVE Suggestion would be helpful. Thanks

My bf claims if he adds my name to his car insurance he will get it loads cheaper?

is this true? i cant drive i ahvent knwon him long and his insurance is due for renewal which is over 500 quid so he says he can reduce that amount by 150 quid if he adss my name is this true and legal? i wondered why he asked for my date of birth and postcode says he just forgot

How much should one spend on their first car?

Here is the problem. I am a photographer who photographs rural areas, but I can't stand not living in the city. I don't drive, cause I live in Chicago and I thought I hated driving. I think I just hated drivers ed. SO now I want to drive everywhere and work more often instead of waiting until I can find someone to drive me around. I am obviously going to be road tripping a lot, and this is my first car. I need something with great MPG. I live in Chicago, but my mom lives downstate, although I'd like to share it with her. I'm thinking either a used prius, mini cooper, or volkeswagon. I'm 19. What do you think would be the best choice, and what costs am I looking at for insurance, ect?""

Is this a good world to bring a child into?

I sometimes worry about having kids due to the world going down hill, theres so many bullies and bad people out there,i dont think I can handle my children getting hurt by someone or bullied,also how much will car insurance be in 18 years, a 19 year old at work keeps getting 5000 quotes for 1.1 cars,id like some opinions on this as me and my wife are planning to have kids soon,am I worrying about nothing or does anyone else feel like this?,i want my kids to have a nice life.""

What do I get as a USAA member without any accounts?

You can get a USAA membership with an online registration; however, I do not need to have any banking accounts, insurance, etc with USAA. What do I get with this membership and does it affect my credit score? What are the pros and cons of becoming a USAA member when I don't have any accounts open with them?""

Insurance coverage question?

I was involved in a three car accident, the car that started it came in to main street and got hit by one car, consequently he lost control of his car went across the next lane and hit me. His insurance already told me they are taking liability and will pay both drivers' damages, but he said that California minimum liability is only $5000, so they are planning to divide the $5000 to cover both drivers. However the damage in my car and the other guy's car exceeds $5000. I thought the limit if indeed is $5000 it should be $5000 for each driver and not for both. What do you think? Maybe they're just giving my the short end of the stick or twisting things for their convenience. Anybody knows for sure how it should work?""

""I need to find how much insurance would cost for a dodge charger, tune-up, tires etc including coupons?""

What site should i go to , to figure out this stuff?""

Does anybody have Progressive auto insurance?

Im thinking about getting Progressive auto insurance, I live in Massachusetts so the prices seem too good to be true. So is it a good insurance company.""

""Buying car insurance(GEICO) for the first time ,?""

Okay so in approximately 9 months I will be purchasing my first car , now I know the smartest and safest thing you can do first is get insurance .. what I need to know is how does it work , like do i get the insurance first ? How does buying geico insurance work ? what's the prices for first time buyers ? Do I pay buy the month , every other month ? .""

What's the best insurance option for a private car collector?

What's the best insurance option for a private car collector?

What's the cheapest option for car insurance for a teen?

I just recently passed my driving test and I'm completely taken away by the prices I've saw for car insurance on my parents Astra, I'm getting prices up at 7K. I've decided to go out and buy a category 1 insurance car (or any that's a low category) so it will be cheaper to run but the only problem is, I don't have a job at the moment so only have savings. It wouldn't bother me not taking out my own policy because I understand that can be more expensive but is there an alternative for me until I get a job and earn money to get the policy so I can collect NCD's? One of my friends use to have his own policy on his family car, a big car like ours, until he had an accident and the price shot up. Now because he can't afford the monthly costs he just takes out 1 weeks insurance at a top when needed and this costs him around 40. What I don't understand though is that he's 18, the same age as me, and I thought you werent able to do short term insurance as a new driver? Although I think he somehow takes it under his parents policy? I'v no idea how this works if someone could shine a light on it? Another friend also had a Nissan Micra and was paying around 80-90 per month which I thought was very cheap (also the same age as me) for an insurance which makes me wonder if he is on his own policy? My dad will be getting insured on my own car also and be using it for work at nights. If anyone could come up with some solutions for me that would be great!! :) Thanks""

Does NCD for a motorbike insurance work on a car insurance?

Hi, Does Non Clam Discount earned on motorbike insurance work will work for a futher car insurance? I'm a fresh young driver with no NCD and the first price for a car insurance is 6500 a year, so I can't really own a car with this rate... Is it possible to insure a motorbike (around 600) for like 2-3 years and then used this 2 or 3 years NCD to have the discounts on a car insurance? It could make me save a lot of money if it is possible!""

Cheapest Contents Insurance Company?

Hi i need to get contents insurance for a rented house with 4 bedrooms. the cheapest i've found is HSBC - 19 a month (unlimited) Do you know of anywhere else that's cheaper?????????????????? Thanks.

""What is the average price of Nissan Micra and Tiida (including tax,insurance,etc...) in India?""

What is the average price of Nissan Micra and Tiida (including tax,insurance,etc...) in India?""

Birmingham Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 44816

Birmingham Ohio Cheap car insurance quotes zip 44816

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/sweetwater-oklahoma-cheap-car-insurance-quotes-zip-73666-lisa-lowman/"

[dannidalion]

How I joined the phandom / Phil appreciation birthday speech thing

In 2010 I saw my first Youtube video. I only remembered this recently when rewatching it once again. My friends at school told me to check out the sight so I did. Robot Death Machine by AmazingPhil was one of the first that popped up (Which is weird since it was uploaded a year prior). In 2012 I got on it a bit more and rediscovered him and this dude dani house fire or something and started watching them maybe once a month? In 2013 something pretty bad happened and that's when I got my first actual device. A white iPad mini (not spon). It came with Youtube I think so I finally made an account, which was a stop motion account. Got 9000 views on one and I was 11 so I was like woAh IM faMouS!!! Anyways. Subscribed to them and started watching a bit more. Then in late 2014. I think before Christmas we got evicted. Or near that. They shut off our water/power and we couldn't pay the bills. So we had to move back to our old house with my cousin and her, now, ex husband. We had no wifi, no tv and no data on our phones so all we could do is watch movies on the vcr and dvd player. I did art and cooked, but couldn't do my schooling. Basically I slept on a couch not being able to sleep till 3 and being woken up at 6 every morning by Michael who could not clOSE THE FRIDGE QUIETLY FOR SHIT. Until we got wifi we'd go to starbucks or target every week or something so I could talk to my friends, get on this game Onverse and sometimes watch Pewdiepie, Wassabi Productions, AmazingPhil and Danisnotonfire videos. We got wifi after months. Almost 8 I think? Honestly all I'd do is sit on my ass all day talking to my friend Angel and watch videos and play Onverse. Once I sat in my new room (Which was actually my old old room before I moved to another) and *cringe incoming* roleplayed for 8 hours. Not in a sexual way... Moving on. Slowly I sopped watching them as I began to focus more on school and having an online social life until last year. I logged onto my old acc (this one) to see I had a bamiltrillion (new word) of notifications from them. I decided to watch some of the ones I missed and slowly caught up with them. Only about 5-7 months ago did I properly join the phandom. I mean sure in 2012-2015 I saw all the theories in comments but I didn't really have any social media and didn't watch them enough to be considered a part of this great community. And in this short amount of time I've made many friends and acquaintances, joined at least 4 group chats and honestly grown as a person. They may seem like 2 plain youtubers with a crazy fucking fanbase but they've saved a lot of people. So personally. I would like to thank whoever decided to put a promotional camera in that box of cereal for this amazing man to find. Catch the pun? Sorry

Happy birthday @amazingphil

[pixifieddreams]

20 followers to know better

tagged by @nano-rain

1.name/nickname: Jeann

2.gender: Female

3.star sign: Sagittarius

4.height: 5'5"

5.hogwarts house: I don’t know yet

6.favorite animal: Pandas

7.hours of sleep: 4 - 9. Depends if I have to get up early or not.

8.dogs or cats? Dogs. Cats are cute but they can scratch.

9.number of blankets: 2

10.dream trip: Japan and Canada

11.dream job: Not sure.

12.current time: 1:11am EST

13.birthday: December 1st

14.last show i watched: Little Lulu

15.when did i create my blog? Wow…I think 2013 or 2012.

16.song stuck in my head: Right now, the Little Lulu theme song.

17.other blogs: I have an art blog that it’s not updated. Yaaayy!

18.why i chose this url: I like pixies and adding dreams sounded pretty.

19.following: 72

20.followers: 66

21.favorite instrument: Piano

22.what im wearing: Shorts and a t-shirt.

23.top three fictional universes id like to join: Uuhh…Pokemon, Pixie Hollow, and Hyrule

Tag: @enairu @officialdreamdemon @edyd33

[thoughtsandeverythingelse]

my 10 year series

in light of everyone doing their reflection of the past 10 years, i think joining the bandwagon would help me look back on the past decade - if anything to make me think of things that i can be (extra) grateful for, so here goes; 

2010; primary school happened. tbh i cant remember much, (lol i actl went on a fb hunt but its taking forever to scroll everything, so im just going to write everything by my own memory and whatever it deems important haha)  had my psle, felt disappointed bc i didnt do well enough for my math (got like a C instead of a B that i thought i worked hard for), thankfully there’s a secondary school that allows me to be in express. confessed to this boy i liked in case i regret, but hey at least i had the guts to tell him ok!  2011; start of secondary school, met different people from all kinds of backgrounds - the broken, the privileged, etc. also increase weight gain bc of puberty + lack of self control. started learning a new instrument (the saxophone). start of bullying all over again bc of the weight, but also liked this boy for treating me like a human - turns out i can like someone for a very long time. also crucial time for me of getting to know jw, probably was the first few contacts we had. 

2012; increased weight gain, increased bullying as well. i remember (for the drama), i ran out of class crying and went into the arms of a friend, just because the hurtful things i’ve heard the boys said. also streaming year, but not sure what i was doing half the time, but had to make important decisions (subject choices). weight gain was really bad here. trip to china with the school was great though! probably one of the highlights of school. 

2013; best year of my secondary school life; probably bc i dont remember studying much bc of my sinful ways lol, but also bc i had so much fun in school and barely scrapped through my results. couldnt stand the bullying so started the herbalife diet and lost the weight subsequently, but took a hell lot of time.  started running a lot! i think this is also the year i started serving in camy, but also dont remember what i was doing half the time ahahha. by the grace of God, i think i rly barely passed to even go into secondary 4 lol. also the year i fell into the radio world, and found my love for mass comm. got my piercings here in the midst of the recalcitrant self, hated my math teacher to the guts and didnt know how to treat people right in the midst of the ‘identity confusion lol’ got drunk for the first time with friends drinking at the beach, partying in our minor years hahahha.  2014; O levels year. didnt hang out much with the bad company, and i think this was when i studied the hardest. i actually started catching up and getting serious, (and did well for the first time in my education woohoo!) but in the midst of the pride, my results dropped for O levels but all’s good. applied for dpa but failed, but went applied for JPSAE and really by the grace of God, i got into mass comm (after my results). ran my first few marathons here too! my secondary school friends settled down here - besides the insane brain study cramp, i think sec 4 was something i really appreciated, being able to study and kinda not hating myself, but learning how to trust God too.  2015; good 8 months of working part time! wow this is actually a pretty good year. had blue hair, (woohoo!) then got into the school of my dreams by the hand of God (this one rly wah.) first backpacking trip of my life (which made me love life so much more), struggled through the first year of school too. tbh this makes me think of my poly life - and all i can remember it to be would be just ‘BUSY’ and ‘CHINA’. lol how ironic??? considering this place was a dream for me, but i turned out to leave feeling to bleh about it. (but ok not true, i think it was an experience i am willing to take, looking back). understood the pain of the evil media/coporate world haha. the lack of sleep was real, but i actl started the year quite skinny leh!!! then the subsequent weight gain was very real hahahaha. joined ambassadors, started ‘dating’, the idea of having the social life was very real too 2016; BUSY BUSY BUSY. not sure what i was doing with my life tbh, but ok it was more media stuff, perhaps my brain does not want to revisit the joy bc it is attached with the pain and bitter side of things, but i know i have to let these go too. ‘broke up’! learnt about love and confrontation. WOW OK this is also the year i had my really really short hair!!!! wow i have no idea where i got the guts to do it, but i did it anyway HAHAHA. also the year ah ma passed away, then i ran my own comm (and saw people grow so well :’) ), kinda reaffirmed me of why im doing what im doing, and being able to groom people was such a privilege. also the year i hated running RC bc camp finale, but also the year i discovered my r/s with k and the love i had for him.  2017; the birth of beyond. i cant believe it feels so foreign to me now, but man it wasnt just the boy from beyond, but the joy from the relationships i had because of it. OIC HK was an experience, then it was also Y3 and i cant believe it was a painful year bc of school (like the heck its alr 3 years still want to torture me leh!!!!). my first refugee trip whcih broke my heart, found myself crying over the issues of the world then realising i might not even have an answer for everything. falling in love with beyond, then realising our overseas internship was happening - one of the best things that happened to me for someone that’s 19 (young and free lol) also the loudest thought from jesus came in as i was entering the shower; “how can you love someone else, when you have yet to love me?” 2018; interned, met Jesus then decided to take a gap year. best of ministry bc of the partnership i had, but also the growth for the love for people. ran the next trip for the refugee kids, (even brought our graduation gowns lol) learnt how to cut hair!!! had the mass realisation that the world is VERY big. too big for my little brain to comprehend.  started working with geylang adventures, then as the year transited into 2019, i got the job offer for st andrews autism school.  2019; realisation about the relationship i have with k - literally non-exsistant anymore. this one broke my heart quite a bit. (still trying to cope with it i guess.) went back to china on my own to surprise visit my friends woohoo.  worked for st andrews + geylang adventures/backalleybarbers. tbh now that i look back into my gap year, im not sure what i was doing, but at the same time - it was something that i think my soul needed. not to rush just because the world is, but understanding so much of who God is, decerning the peace and learning so much about life. after many tears, many questions, i got into university. not my first choice, (not even in my life of choices tbh) but....; 

2020; 

it is day 4 of 2020, and i love what im studying. i love the friends that i’ve met in school bc they are easy to love, i love the nature of what im studying bc of the sheer contact of humanity it has. truth be told, none of us are going to become social workers. not at least those in my social circle. but at the same time, we are here studying in our best abilities, understanding who God is, through each other, through the course of study, through the people we meet. i love what im studying, but i got my first F in school, but yet i didn’t even panic (not like in mass comm leh!!!) and i could literally laugh it off. that’s how much i love what im doing. 

and for that, as i’m writing this, i feel the need to scream at the top of the mountains that i’m thankful. the heart of gratitude is so real, the hand of God in my life is so real - you can argue that it is by sheer coincidence. i dont disagree, perhaps. but the peace - this immense peace, this joy, the intensity of this joy, cannot be explained, nor contained. i feel this need to shout across to the people i love and say HELLO THIS IS THE GOD I LOVE!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!!! HOW AM I SO SPECIAL!!!!!  so thank you Jesus, for loving me. for the past 10 years. and for the many years to come. with a heart of gratitude, thank you for everything. perhaps this is not enough as a thank you message. perhaps only my life in return can translate my act of gratitude. until then, JESUS YOU ARE SO COOL and i think im starting to fall in love with you again. help me fall in love with you because you are you, and not because the things you have done for me. not because of how everything ‘seems so smooth’, but bc of who you are, your goodness, your grace, your mercy, your character, your nature, every bit of who you are!!!! 

[jujyfru1t]

Dear Markiplier

*throws confetti/blows noisemaker* HAPPY BIRTHDAY @markiplier YOU FABULOUS HOOMAN BEAN!!!! (ur 4 moths younger than me *quietly fangirls*)

I can’t art or anything but I can write, so. I’ve been a fan of yours since about 2013, and I’m really happy I discovered you. And it’s so heartwarming to read your video comments and see that you were/are a lifeline for so many people. I can’t claim the same, but I do know my life is a lot better with you in it.

I touched on some of this in my donation comment for AbleGamers, but I don’t know if it gets to you and I wanted to expand on it a little bit. (it’s so weird spending a happy b-day comment talking about myself but???)

(this gets ramble-y so have a read more and my apologies to mobile dashes)

 I’m a twin. My brother David died in 2009, right before our 20th birthday, when his heart gave out from fighting Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy, a genetic, incurable muscle-wasting disease. I will always be a twin. That’s how it works.Duchenne is a rare form of MD that only affects boys. Most DMD boys don’t live past 25, but my brother and I were born 3 months premature (I have moderate cerebral palsy bc of that) so that hastened the progression. By 7 he could no longer walk, though he could still use his hands and upper body.

D and I were lucky enough to be homeschooled by our parents and I am eternally grateful for everything that gave us. It also meant we were together nearly every minute of the day. We had differing interests, of course, but we also had a lot in common. Like... video games. My older-by-11-years sister got an NES for one of her birthdays, and we still had it when bro and I turned 8 (and still have it today actually). That year my brother needed glasses. Turned out the headaches he’d been having were a result of poor eyesight. At that point we’d watched my sister play NES for years (there’s a pic of toddler me derping around with a disconnected controller next to sis) but never played ourselves. The minute my brother wheeled into the front hall, brandy-new glasses on, the first thing he said was “I wanna play Nintendo.” So we fired up Mario Bros. 1 and he was 10000% hooked forever. I was the observer, sitting by biting my nails whenever the “running out of time” jingle played; I don’t think I started playing until we got Nintendo 64 for one of our birthdays, with Mario Kart. And I didn’t play by myself until Ocarina of Time came out. We even played that “together”, me consulting the strategy guide and using the “C” buttons during boss fights while he moved and swung the sword.

Pokemon arrived, I got a Game Boy Color with Pokemon Yellow when I was ten, next thing you know bro and I are Pokemon experts/fans/cultists and IT’S ALL DOWNHILL FROM THERE. We were console/Nintendo devotees for sure, though we had a handful of computer games later on too.

All this is to say that gaming was a huge part of our lives and still is in mine. I’ve branched out to PC gaming (still with a controller, as my hands are not dexterous enough for mouse+keyboard gaming), and several of those games I learned about through YOU, lovely Markimoo!! Dead Space (an hour in, too scared to go back for now) Undertale. To the Moon (the only one I’ve completed, also AUGH MY FEELS). Transistor. Even Outlast, which I haven’t even Steamstalled yet bc I’m legit terrified (D was the horror movie/game fan, I had to watch through my fingers at Resident Evil 4; he patiently put up with my screeching).

So, yeah. 2013 was year 4 of After David. The pain’s never going away, it will just dull. I found a lot to sustain me through the years. I don’t remember 99% of 09, 2012 was also awful grief-wise, for some reason. ’13 was more of an up year. I can’t recall how I discovered you, guess it was my YT account recommended videos. I knew about LPs for a while but never much cared until “ohhhh I can watch games I’m not gonna buy but wanna know about!!” pretty sure my intro to you was an Amnesia compilation and then Electronic Super Joy (where I tripped and faceplanted onto a massive crush on your voice and then you im so sorry). So I can’t say I’ve always been there or I’ve seen every one of your vids but *shrugs*

you made memories come back I hadn’t thought about much because they hurt. D and I screaming and hollering over whatever games we played, D patting my arm saying “it’s ok Juj” every time I freaked out trying RE4’s first level, attending our first Pokemon convention for its 10th anniversary… and so many memories didn’t hurt anymore bc your enthusiasm and joy and epic silliness reminded me of happiness, not sadness. And when you cried I could cry with you, over similar and different things. Which reminds me, your 6mil subscriber gift video? That one song and your reaction to it single-handedly made me want to play To The Moon. And also cry buckets bc the lyrics are… very relevant. I only joined Steam a few months ago, having got a new computer with better hardware and running into a freaking $1.99 sale of the Tomb Raider reboot which almost made me buy a new console just for it but yay I didn’t have to I DIGRESS SORRY.

So I refused to watch more than part 1 of your TTM LP, I wanted to experience it for myself and boy howdy that was the right decision. [spoilers ahead if anyone’s still reading *sweating*] By the time Everything’s Alright started playing in context? After everything that happened in-game?? I was a goddamn mess and didn’t go back until a week later and then!!! The big reveal of Joey being restored in Johnny’s memories in place of River destroyed my heart.. TTM brought up so many questions. If I could have D back, but lose another important person in my life… if it wasn’t even real… would I take the opportunity? And River coming back… maybe my memories too would restore that other person, but it wouldn’t change my life as I’d lived it. I can’t never bring David back, DMD-free or otherwise.

“He’ll only have one brother.” So many heartrending moments but THAT LINE. That one hit my soul because I’ve been through it. I knew TTM would be emotional but had no idea that it would speak to me more personally than anything I’ve ever played. And I probably wouldn’t have known about it if not for you, Mark.

I don’t even know if you’ll see this, or read to the end if you do see it. But I had to let this out, and hope you do see it and know you’ve touched yet another person’s life. And I really really think that if D were alive today, he’d be your fan too.

Love and appreciation,

JujYFru1T, aka RitsukaYukiLuvr on YT, aka Julia

[okaycallmefred-blog]

NAME: Serena GENDER:  Female EYE COLOUR: Super dark brown. Almost black though one day theyll be ice blue HAIR COLOUR:  Black RELATIONSHIP STATUS: single, as always ZODIAC:  i googled it and im either a libra or a scorpio FAVOURITE COLOUR: ultramarine (hex decimals #0000FF - #4000FF) FAVOURITE SEASON:  autumn FAVOURITE PLACE:  i don’t know. the first place that comes to mind isnt real lmao FAVOURITE HOLIDAY: Halloween for sure FAVOURITE VIDEO GAME:  banjo-kazooie/banjo-tooie LAST SHOW YOU WATCHED:  uh prolly dr who unsurprisingly WHAT’S YOUR HONEST OPINION ABOUT YOUR MUSE?: i think romana’s great and she’s similar enough to me that she makes a lot of sense but different enough that i could never think of us as the same person. also she’s super pretty WOULD YOU DATE YOUR MUSE?: yeah probably WHAT ARE YOUR FAVOURITE KINDS OF THREADS?: all of them. mostly long ones ARE YOU A SELECTIVE ROLEPLAYER?:  yeah. incorrect grammar Really bothers me, and other writing issues. I know some people have problems with it and i dont blame them but it just really irks me and i cant deal with it DO YOU HAVE A FAVOURITE MUSE?:  since i TOTALLY only play / played romana, id never lie, id say romana WHAT MADE YOU DECIDE TO JOIN THE FANDOM?: several years ago in like 2012 or 2013 i joined tumblr on my personal blog and superwholock was the Thing (TM) and id just started at a new school and everyone was into dr who especially (that school was how i heard of tumblr and why i joined as well) and so that was that really i started watching it but my first ever episode was An Unearthly Child cos i like to start at the beginning of things but literally nobody at my school or that i knew watched classic who so i watched new who but on tumblr i discovered the classic who fandom which was wild as fuck back then and it was great so that’s how DO YOU SEE YOURSELF STAYING WITH THE FANDOM FOR A LONG TIME?: ive been in for like five years so yeah probably. im not really that active in the fandom even tho im a rp blog which i kinda consider separate on some level so i never get in any beef or Discourse (TM) so ill probably be at this level for a while. i never really get active in any fandom but w/e

TAGGED BY: @thiefofnobility@thiefofnobility TAGGING: idk who did this but @therani-queenofscience @askperibrown @youcantrewritehistory @timesvigilante @madinsomeway