#im posting bc i cant seem to draw anything...
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honestly i dont know how many times i can keep trying to like and engage with things if they always end up disappointing me so badly i cant like what came before it anymore
im not trying to center this around me or something, but im having a hard time coping with arcane doing it too (to me)
few things can catch my attention and all interests in media i have ever had fumbled everything later so badly i often never want to see or think about it again
its happened with transformers (prime specifically, i think the ending of season2? i dont remember everything but after the fucking new guys show up and it killed my hyperfixation on it back in the day), one piece (stopped since whole cake island and anything new i see of it only makes it more clear i cant stand it anymore), zelda (ahah .. totk, fuck that game, basically killed my hyperfixation on the franchise and im only holding on for some projects and cool people i met through it), (edit; how could i forget fromsoft/elden ring and what the DLC did.....), arcane/league (arcane, lore retcons, and now its ending, but it happened before it turned into a hyperfixation so theres that bit of mercy lol) and those were only my super special hyperfixation ones i still clearly remember im sure im forgetting some, its happened with movies and other series i gave a try too (even mob psycho ... the series i thought couldnt disappoint me ...)
i feel so bad about it, i feel like i am somehow wrong to dislike or even hate how media goes, and bc it happens every time i feel like .. theres something wrong with me .. theres gotta be soemthing wrong with me right?.. i SWEAR i do NOT find joy in hating or disliking things, it is not fun for me, i hate hating things, especially when i once loved them, even if it may seem like there is nothing i can ever like i am NOT doign it on purpose, i feel the same, i feel like theres nothing i can ever just like, and i hate myself for it .. but also cant help it, i cant force myself to like thingsi dont either, i just want to rip my hair out and cry
#ganondoodles talks#personal#why does this keep happening#i have such passion for things i like but i have become very wary of letting it out bc ... it always ends badly#and im proven right yet again#there must me somethign wrong with me .... some weird complex of not liking anything beyond a certain point#season two act two of arcane was my fav bc i loved vander and warwick and they did that rather interestingly#right up my alley#but the end of the act uh oh#and then they are just props .... i know that how stuff in stories works and its in part bc of how compressed the show was#but man both isha and warwick turned into such cheap props#and the ending of the season?? what the fuck man its so messy and inconclusive#.... sorry#im so tired of not liking stuff#i too just want to have fun and enjoy stuff#but it seems like i cant#.... off i go mindlessly playing stardew valley again ..#i hope i wont be posting more like this again and just shut off and come back when i got some shitty drawing to throw into the void
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70% of my trigun thoughts are abt how plants (independent and dependant) work and what they symbolize and their relationships with other characters and the world and stuff and the implications of independent plants coming with the earth forces and what it says about how earth has progressed since SEEDS left the planet, 20% of my thoughts are "hope those guys (meryl milly vash livio ww knives) are having fun" and 10% is rotating trimax Rem Saverem around in my head at all times
#i think abt rem a lot for a character that is like important but also isnt materially present in the story much#like idk her relationship with grief and regret and the idea of her looking at the shambles of her life and having to say#'well at least i can start over since theres nothing left for me' multiple times (after alex dies and she joins seeds#and after failing to keep tesla alive and getting a 'second chance' with vash and knives) idk its just so fascinating to me#and her idea of a blank ticket to the future and what it means in terms of how vash shapes his worldview in trimax#where it seems to be about how. death stops all future potential of a person. if they die they can never get better they dont learn#they cant change and experience consequence#like smth i find fascinating in trimax is that vash doesnt kill people but he will let somebody that person has hurt punch them in the face#and he thanks ww for killing to save the colony that one time. hes not opposed to killing/consequence entirely#i think it comes down a lot to how rem behaved in the aftermath of him finding out about tesla. how the potential for things to get better#would have died with him or rem and it would have just stayed horrible#idk idk im Rambling im turing things around in my brain#also man my main complaint with the manga is i wish it focused on the dependant plants more. they clearly experienced a big emotional#struggle esp in the final volumes and i wish we got to see more of it#but also i just like the wacky small town hijinks esp in the 98 anime i love when the main cast is just goofin around. i think they should#get to goof more#trigun#.txt#Dont Look At This Post Man its EMBARRASSING nobody should let me talk abt anything#the secret special bonus tjoughts are about chronica bc she fascinates me but i cant draw her good the way i can draw meryl and rem :(
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we already know that theres no need to stick to annabeth's book description anyway, since shes described as having "honey" blonde hair but people have been drawing her with pale and desaturated sort of... tropical sand blonde hair for years, because it looks better next to grey (eyes) and dark blue (hat) and bronze (armor). so its really not a problem to have her not be blonde at all
#its cool when the tv show gives her black hair but not when the movies gave her brown hair because:#in the movies it genuinely felt like 'we dont give a shit about your character and her motivations. heres a YA female love interest'#and in the tv show its like 'remember how in 2006 people thought blondes couldnt be smart? well heres annabeth. she actually#acts like annabeth! and shes a black girl which people seem to think cant be smart. get it?'#anyway im not actually trying to say anything in this post (thus not putting it in the tags) i just wanted to talk abt how artists have#been deliberately drawing her hair 'inaccurately' for years bc it looked better :3
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No reason i just wanna die?
Wanna kill myself?
Cease to exist?
#clu finally speaks#vent#tw suicide mention#its like that one post said#sometimes u haveta say 'i wanna kms' and move on#and boy do i!!!!!!!!!!!!!#nowhere girl is THE descriptor for me!!!#too mentally ill to be employable or schoolable (anxiety making me unable to handle conflict. ADHD (cont.))#(ADHD making it impossible to learn and maintain any info and be productive consistently. and depression ofc tagteaming with anxiety(cont))#(to cripple me in any kind of predicament)#little to no friends#let alone a friend that got connections so i can at least network my way into money#AND i had to be boring AND ugly from head to toe so I cant just marry someone rich or sleep my way to the top#that successful commission artist/freelance artist is going fucking NOWHERE... havent been motivated to draw anything good in MONTHS#and i cant go to therapy (something i feel would remedy all of this including. not venting on main djdjs) bc IM FUCKING POOR#my family is getting poorer and poorer and it seems i cant do ANYTHING to help#might as well fucking die!!!!
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cw TKaTB spoilers, theory, mention of guillotine, amnesia memories spoilers
TKATB and its characters belong to @fantasia-kitt !!
TKATB IS RATED +18. MINORS DONT INTERACT
Was about to post a theory about how sol could have been reincarnated to meet pumpkin again in a different timeline bc they werent allowed to be together in their own timeline, the bruise on his neck being an indication of being guillotined AND him giving purple tullips (sign of royalty and elegance) to pumpkin on valentine's, feeling insecure about his lunch (saying it isnt "extravagant" enough for pumpkin) and somehow using pardon me instead of excuse me (he doesnt usually use this type of elegant language i think. could be just me) kinda seems like we were royalty before? I mean, crowe mentioning marie antoinette and the game giving us many options for the question seems sussy to me. Why does MY opinion on the queen matter this much to both crowe and sol since their love meters go crazy with the answers? speaking of historical figures, i cant be the only one thinking sol WAS the "executioner". maybe that could be it. he was "the executioner" and we were a part of the royalty: swimming in money, expensive alcohol and the sweat of the peasants; and sol being one of them. Maybe we didnt even know who he was but him being a delusional yandere, he thought we were inseperable lovers. maybe that was why he was drawing someone in peasant clothes. He was just drawing his past life, could be the day he first saw us or the day he lost us. anything to support my theory? what inspired the game, ofc :D i was stalking fantasia's socials when i saw the game was was inspired by 3 gamea, one being Amnesia Memories (IM A HUGE FAN OF THAT SHIT). if you didnt know, amnesia memories is about a girl waking up with lost memories, trying to remember things. but bc it is an otome, she has a partner in every world she wakes up in. so if she fails to recollect her memories, she ends up in a different universe with a different partner. the relevance between tkatb and amnesia? in amnesia the final LI can also switch between different universes. he loses the mc in a fire and cant live without her. So a god helps him go to a different universe to be with her again. But everytime he goes to a universe, the world either kills the mc or him somehow. Following with pumpkin being royalty and sol not being able to live with us, what if after our death; he went to a different universe where we are classmates (equal parties!!) and now the entire purpose of his existence being, well, being with us forever?
But yknow. I decided not to post it since pretty much everyone already thinks this way! its probably what fantasia WANTS us to think to bamboozle us in the end, right? :3
P.S. not to mention his hatred for the rich. the rich and their stupid rules were the things that stopped him from being with us! but what if hyugo ALSO has switched universes along with him for his own reasons? Could this be the deal between the two, and the reason why hyugo wont allow sol to just die like that?
#tkatb vn#tkatb sol#tkatb theory#the kid at the back vn#the kid at the back sol#solivan brugmansia#tkatb spoiler#amnesia#amnesia memories#i dont even know what i just rambled about lmao ignore my illiterate ass
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even more embarassing when there r no new videos and i have to go back to one ive seen before or a channel ive been binging for bedtime. it feels like theyve got a Welcome home cheater sign hung up. and im just like Hey honey ... Can i sleep with you tonight..... and she (my youtube video girlfriend) is like tch. look whos come craaaawling baaaack to me. <- phrase ive been loving recently tag finds it very funny. but anyways yeah thats what its like basically
kind of embarassing looking for a yt video to listen to while i fall asleep. Like hi youtubers whos going to accompany me to bed today. Just a weird thought to have. yk. We should . Go on a tall rollercoaster and have fun and eat funnelcake. <- Rewiring my brain
#this post is not abt like bejng in love with youtubers or parasocializing w youtubers the YouTube video girlfriend is The videos#i dont tend to parasocialize very much . i do more w YouTubers than celebrities bc like kbviously. but still not very much and on the rare#occasion i do find myself feeding into that i like Remind myself i dont know them. yk. i try to get healthay with it#and even those ones its like. i dont tend to wonder abt their life outside of videos. so idk DJFNFNNF. im just like Ah my friend has made#another video that i can watch Lovely . like theyre my friend in the same way characters r my friend. not that they arent ppl. u understand#but like. ik like... mabel pines doesnt know who i am and never will bc she cant. the same wya i know drawing comedy channel members will#not ever know who i am and i get No distress from that NFBFB i donot want to be personal friends with the ppl i watch#not that i dont think they seem like nice ppl just like i dont actually know them theg dont actually know me. You know is this making any#ssnse. im worried i just sound like somebody who Does parasocialize a lot but is making excuses for it. not what im trying to do i jsut have#trouble knowing what other ppl mean when they say like. parasocializing. bc i tend 2 think of it in the extreme so im not sure if jokingly#calling a yter My bestie counts idk....#idk. i dont think it hurts anything anyways i never leave comments im not on the same social media as these ppl. so...
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rough sketches for designs of all the pt for the wof au! (also more akechi and better joker here)
thoughts + closeups under the cut
i tried to give proper justification for all the pt to have their codenames here which for a handful of them meant their names are just. shortened versions of something else. so crow is short for crow poison. aka false garlic. its a type of flower :3. i mean theororetically crow would be a valid name but hes a rainwing here and it didnt seem like a very fitting name with that in mind? but theres a couple rainwings named after flowers i think. hes a rainwing for obvious reasons i think. id like to think hed have a very light color palette that shifts to this when he gives up trying to hide who he is. youuu can see that lighter palette in the art i linked earlier.
fox! which is short for snowfox. yes i know snowfox is a real canon name but yknow what else is canon? icewings have a big list of names they go down. so his name is snowfox. i dont have anything else to say here. like ofc hes an icewing hes YUSUKE. id like to think he left the ice kingdom to go to jade mountain (bc is it a wof au without jade mountain) to "broaden his horizons as an artist". which would be how he meets the other guys
skull! is it his real name? hes not telling! i am the least happy with his design tbh.
ORACLE!! her real name is beetle but she likes to go by oracle instead. i struggled a bit on what tribe to make her actually. originally i wanted her to be either part or fully rainwing? because i thought her using her camoflauge to hide from people in crowded places could be fun. but eventually i decided i not to do that. i dont think theres any hybrids in this cast actually? might actually change my mind on that to make noir half leafwing but shh. anyways i think a bug is fitting for her. so she gets to be a hivewing. no abilities for her shes just a little guy
JOKER!! i think it would be fun if joker IS his real name but people think its an alias. his design was easy as shit. ofc hes a nightwing ofc hes got big red stars on his wings hes JOKER. not pictured is morgana also! mona is jokers """pet""" scavenger who speaks dragon. congrats mona you finally get to be human! too bad its in the dragon au. anyways might post a morgana drawing whenever i clean up his design
violet! (named after the violet copper butterfly). her sisters name and the name she uses for a while is rose (named after the common rose butterfly). i ALSO kinda considered her being a rainwing (literally changing herself to look more like her sister) but decided silkwing was a better choice,,,,, im really happy with her design ok
PANTHER!! that is her actual name btw. MY FIRST THOUGHT FOR THIS AU WAS SKYWING ANN I WOULD KILL MYSELF IF SHE WAS ANYTHING ELSE,,,, ik skywings cant have blue eyes unless theyre firescales or sky but shhhhhhhhhhhhhhh i wanted to,,,,,, canon is what i want it to be.
queen is short for queenfish! she was a bit of an afterthought sorry </3. but shes a seawing! good for her <3
AND NOIIIRRRR!! i wanted her to be a mudwing as soon as i thought about it for more than a second. design wise i dont have much to say but i think storywise it might be cool if she was an only child and her father (in an incrdible rare move for a mudwing) was actually a present figure in her life. leading her to be kinda isolated from her peers and giving her a big reason to be very attached to him. idk its just thoughts rn. i dont have a clear story in mind yet. anyways those are my dragon thieves i hope you liked them
#doodles#persona 5#goro akechi#yusuke kitagawa#ryuji sakamato#futaba sakura#akira kurusu#ren amamiya#joker#sumire yoshizawa#ann takamaki#makoto nijima#haru okumura#wings of fire#au
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paul anon here i cant reblog bc anonymity i like being an enigma its fun but JshsidyusgdSJSHKSYDIDHDUDYHD EEEEYEAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH OH YM GOFODODDDFFDDFFFDDDDDDD
PAUL WITH THE MARKING AND IMAGINE HES LIKE OMG THIS IS SO AND TRUES TO HIDE IT BUT EVENTUALLY HES LIKE NAH FUCK IT AND STARTS JUST LIKE SHOWING IT OFF PROUDLY LIKE YEAHHHHH IM TAKEN FUCK YALL OH MY GOD CURSED PARRY I LOVE YOU SO BADDDDDDDDDD
TEEHEHE I KNEW YOU'D GO NUTS. The target audience for that drawing was you and the Parry fans /j I wasn't even going to post it initially at first; mostly due to the whole "I'm aroace and don't know how other people will look at it" but then I thought about it for a bit, and I was like. Bah, fuck it. I'm a HUGE fan of non-sexual intimacy; it's kind of inevitable that I'll end up doing more with that and posting it. Anyways, Paul tries to hide that shit 💀 His reputation might be in the ground now that he's with the greasers but his ego is fragile and Steve will ruthlessly bully him. Fae have sharp ass teeth, so that shit leaves a scar too; at that point he kind of can't do anything about it, won't hide it since Darry seems pretty pleased, but he's admittedly embarrassed if it's ever pointed out.
#foster talks#the outsiders#the outsiders musical#foster answers#cursed tulsa#cursed tulsa au#parry#darry x paul#darry curtis x paul holden
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saw ur post about going incognito into spaces and stuff and i wanted to add my own thoughts about my experience of basically being stuck in places where proshippers r hated (not against wut ur saying! i definitely agree that theres no benefits and honestly its not that fun)
the fandom that im currently in is.. very toxic. someone got harassed to the point of having to delete their account bc they "supported" a proshipper (it was literally just them saying that u shouldnt harass this person just bc theyre proship-). a lot of my friends were very supportive of this person and agreed that ppl shouldnt be harassed over shit like that and many of them seem to have similar viewpoints as me (anti harassment and all that) but prefer to stay away from that stuff
the fandom is basically ran by antis. theres a small corner that some ppl have made where they talk about proship stuff freely (love those ppl so much theyre genuinely so nice) but overall its. not the best place to be if ur proship. which is interesting to me bc theres actually a shocking amount of proshippers that just... dont say anything. on my side blog ive had multiple ppl interact that i thought were anti (or at least just. not proship in some way) but would literally go and like all my posts about incest ships of the characters.
and sometimes i think about it and how theres actually a bunch of proshippers but we're so heavily harassed and silenced that we just- dont say anything. but the fandom is small and we cant exactly separate ourselves from it if we really like the show. and i feel especially bad for some of the bigger blogs that ppl love and adore bc i know wut would happen if somehow ppl found out and made some big post or wutever.
i dont pretend to be antiship but i dont outright say im proship unless i really trust that person
im currently trying to make my own lil space with some friends so at least if anything goes wrong i at least have a few ppl but its a bit scary to think about honestly-
Although it can be full of snot-nosed superiority complexes, I do recommend using the AO3 Subreddit in order to find likeminded people for your fandom. The very vast majority of the AO3 Subreddit is proship or at least proship neutral. Antis are generally eviscerated on sight whenever they try to poke their nose into it.
If you have any other fandoms that you are active in or have friends within, there's also no harm in introducing them to your small fandom.
From what I understand the Marvel fandom did kind of the same thing you're describing with the Starker shippers, but they flourished and supported each other anyway.
I know its easy for me to simply say 'do it anyway' as someone who generally could not give a fuck about anyone's opinion of me, but honestly. Do it anyway. Form your little collective. Support each other. Learn how to write and draw and make GIFs so you feed your own portion of the fandom. You physically do not need those people, it just unfortunately takes a bit of effort and means potentially a bit less content until you start really generating your own.
Fandom spaces do not start out from nothing. Promote the shit out of your fandom. Draw people in. Comb through the proship tags and send asks to blogs like mine asking other proshippers to check out the source material.
People in small fandoms are easy to bully because you're so enclosed into this circle of the exact same people. They happen to be the majority in the room and they're weaponising it.
Force them into a bigger room.
#myfandomrealitea#sephiroth speaks#fandom#proship#proshipping#small fandom#fandom culture#fandom mentality
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𝑶𝑪𝑬𝑨𝑵 𝑬𝒀𝑬𝑺 (𝒇𝒖𝒔𝒉𝒊𝒈𝒖𝒓𝒐 𝒎𝒆𝒈𝒖𝒎𝒊 𝒙 𝒓𝒆𝒂𝒅𝒆𝒓)
02: somebody I used to know.
MASTERLIST.
january 1st, 2018.
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suguru saved me from the awkward silence and wiggly eyebrows from satoru. "y/n! come help me set up the table, please!" "coming!" i bolted out of there. phew, at least im free from embarrassment now. . once i got in the kitchen, yuji and nobara were arguing about who was going to eat the most food. suguru handed me the utensils that went on the table. i realized hadn't talked to him since i got home. he gently patted my head instead of ruffling my hair like satoru. "how was your visit to the ice rink?" he asked, gently smiling at me. "It was good, until i hit my head and fell on my butt." suguru chuckled at my defeated tone. i started to set the table, placing the chopsticks, spoons, etc in front of every seat. i watch as yuji and nobara approach him, talking to him comfortably. i didnt know they were friends with megumi. he seems like the closed off type, especially now.
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soon, shoko arrives and everyone eats. i have to admit, my brother sure can cook. im starting to think hes like satoru's malewife..anyways, after everyone finished eating, we had a drawing, and whoever drew the short stick had to wash dishes while everyone else got to play uno. God was NOT favoring me today. there were two short sticks, and guess who got them! me and megumi. FREAKING MEGUMI. you know what? it cant get more awkward than this.... right?
wrong.
here, we stood right beside each other, shoulder touching shoulder, leg touching leg. i wanted to crawl in a hole and disappear. the worst part was, he wasn’t even bothered by it! he didn’t even acknowledge it! surely, if i was him, i’d at least be stealing glances! oh, well, maybe he isnt that kind of guy. he was never interested in stuff like that. the two of us stood at the kitchen sink, washing dishes. the entire time, i was wondering how to start a conversation and barely got anything done! megumi had done most of it. now he probably thinks im useless! he’ll never associate himself with someone so unhelpful. “so,” i started, lips trembling. he glances at me. how come his eyelashes are so long? does he use mascara? “how..how have you b-been lately?” i wanted to curse myself. who the hell stutters nowadays!? “alright. what about you?” i could feel my shoulders tensing. i had heard his voice earlier, but now, im really paying attention to it. just thinking about it makes my stomach do axles. “good, actually.” i smiled, desperate to keep myself from squealing. minutes past, he hasnt said anything after that. okay, you dont wanna talk to me, cool. fine. whatever. (squealing) part of me wanted yuji and nobara to come in and start being annoying to break the ice. hell, maybe even satoru would do. after what seemed like decades, we finally finished washing the dishes. i sighed in relief, but i couldnt have a moment of grace before my heart nearly jumped out of my chest. i felt a napkin on my cheek, wiping soap off my face. “sorry,” he muttered. kill. me. please. “you had soap on your face.” i laughed awkwardly while he just looked at me, “really? i-uhm, i didn’t know! thanks.” what the hell, y/n?? what is your problem??
yuji and nobara ran towards me and megumi, bombarding us with a fury of words i didnt understand. something along the lines of, “guess what?? i won against mr. gojo!” “no, kugisaki cheated!” “the hell? i didnt cheat! all of you just suck!” “cheater cheater, pumpkin eater!” “grow up!” megumi frowned at their antics. “idiots” he muttered.
an: hey guys sorry for the short chapter😔i kinda rushed bc i have to gts early bc i have school tmrw. but i will be posting tomorrow or the day after that! it normally takes me two days (4 hours total) to write this much anyway
TAGLIST: @fillmeup6969 @morgyyyyy @kasumitenbaz (OPEN)
#jjk x reader#jujutsu kaisen#megumi fushiguro#megumi x reader#gojo satoru#geto suguru#nobara kugisaki#yuji itadori#fushiguro x reader
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this isnt a call out for anyone; i keep getting asked why i even post my opinions on the internet if i dont want to argue whenever i mention how tired i am of people trying to argue with me or proof me wrong
and i just ... for one its bc there are people that have told me they like hearing my opinions bc it makes them feel less alone, its validating to hear that i am not alone and i make them feel less alone (this is a big reason)
then theres the thing .. do you feel good never saying your opinion on anything and just keeping everything to yourself? be it big or small, i tried to do that for years, just trying to crawl deeper and deeper into a hole bc clearly i am the problem and should be able to deal with everything on my own, never say anything, i could be annoying, i could be a burden, and it nearly killed me; i have very few friends and i already spam them enough to feel constantly guilty
and if i did that on some private account ... what use is that, thats the same thing as not saying anything, whats the use of saying anything when no one listens, even to select few, whats the point if others cant find it, there might be people i dont know at all that would find solace in hearing my stupid ramblings about games
its true i lack self control and just tend to talk about stuff when i feel the need of talking, but is that really so bad?
correct me if im wrong but i was never of the impression that posting something on the internet automatically means wanting to debate and argue unless you specifically say or initiate it on someone elses post? like thats why i pretty much always make my own post to complain and dont go on other peoples posts of opposing views, id view the latter as an invitation to argue moreso than the former
when i post some stupid opinion (im talking about harmless personal video game opinions mind you) on my own account who am i bothering, if people agree thats great! if they dont they can just move on- i know people love to discuss and share different opinions but the the ones i most often encounter are ones where its a basically trying to start a fight over whos more right (like theres always one correct opinion to have) or just telling me i am not allowed to feel like i feel-
im aware i cant expect everyone to be able to see a differeing opinion and move on without saying anything, but when i say something, unless its specifically a question, i just do it to vent, to let my thoughts out so they dont slowly gnaw at me, maybe find validation in others also thinking like that (i know i cant also expect everyone to think that way .. i just see it as a form of politeness? sorta?); in all honesty, i dont do it to get told opposing opinions (i know thats maybe a little ... idk, selfish i guess?) bc i usually have seen or heard those already and am saying mine bc i havent seen it before or very very little- what i think is often very much not the majority so the need to say something gets greater the more i see somethign i dont agree with, like an urge to balance it? a call to see if i am alone or not? and much less so to argue or debate over something like that, im tired and exhausted at all times, and have often trouble even getting myself to draw, i dont enjoy fights of any kind, and especialyl so when its about something so completely ignorable like a game opinion i only said bc i wanted it out of my head and bc i have seen that the majority seems to be of a different one
like a sticky note on a wall, not an invitation to a political meeting?
maybe this is something i need to work on and get better at, i havent found a way that lets me get rid of my thoughts in a way that doesnt leave me feeling guilty (like spamming my friends) or to gnaw at me (not saying anything, or somewhere no ones gonna hear it)
i know im incapable of shutting up ever (though at least i got a better control over my emotions by now) and i risk accidentally seeming like im inviting people to a fight but i dont know what else to do
maybe its something i horribly missunderstood about the internet, but its my only outlet for that, i dont have anyone IRL to talk to about my interests, maybe its a flaw that needs work, maybe its just a flaw, i dont know :/
#ganondoodles talks#personal#and thats enough personal talk for today#already feeling shitty enough#im also really bad at lying- if some of this seems self centered then .. i guess it is- im sorry?#dont think im ever gonna be a perfect human being#even while trying to better myself#:(
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okay so i know i posted a few weeks ago that i did get to see the haikyuu movie when i was in japan last month and ive been so busy i didnt fully have time to process lol so ive been writing down thoughts as i remember them so, spoilers under the cut (no particular order)
final rally pov shot was craaaaazyyy (sidenote i saw challengers today lmao and they did a similar pov shot thing a couple times and it reminded me how sick it was to see such a complicated thing be animated)
in addition to that tho, while i liked the drop of the music then to just have it be kenmas breathing, i felt lie his breathing seemed a little repetitive?? like it was possibly just the same couple voice recordings repeated???
and also tbh.. i kinda didnt love how after the super amazing pov animation the way they chose to animate the full court flashback to tokyo training camp was just like a flat pan around the room. it just didnt feel all that dynamic after seeing something so cool, and maybe it was just my screening but the image was kinda blurry and not that crisp at that part
in general tho i thought the sound design was really cool, so much of it just straight up felt like a live match happening, and the part when kenma tells hinata to stay interesting and the sound cuts out?? ooo v effective i thought
and then the birdcaaaage aaaah i loved the way the wings like got all stifled in the cage when kenma first trapped him and then ofc the bursting out of it oooo im excited to see it again in imax
there were a tonnnn of small moments that i assumed wouldnt make the cut that actually did too, yaku sitting on lev's back when he's doing pushups, the bokuto/kuroo hair swap flashback lmaooo, goshiki having to share his ipad with tendou (i cant remember for sure now if he actually says that or not but theyre definitely in the movie), bokuto and akaashi coming over and talking to yachi and ah i think theres more. a lot of them were shortened down a bit, but i appreciated them getting attention nonetheless. sadly no kuroo/lev poop conversation though lmaoo
i thought the kuroo/kenma flashbacks were pretty good as well, i think they possibly added a few lines?? it seemed like there were more frames of stuff of kuroo being inspired by the "lowering the net" concept which was really cool bc thats really integral to his character to me. and then theres this line where kenma is like "hinata has kageyama and i have kuroo" and uhhhh that is news to me!! im like 90% thats new content lmao, and oooo it was good, the shots they chose with it too gooood
oh for some reason they changed how kenma flops??? he falls with his butt up in the air instead of just flat??? like why lmao, obviously that was like an Actual Choice they made bc they had to draw it and obviously had the manga as reference and it makes no difference other than to confuse me lolll
im interested to see it again distributed by crunchyroll too bc im sure some of the subs i saw werent right, a few lines just didnt make sense and there were a few instances of like "lead blocking"
and okay. i gotta talk about the chapter 298 stuff
its there its in the movie!! but,, it's watered down lmao
and i think i was also too in my head and overanalyzing it which im disappointed in myself for so im hoping on rewatch ill have a better time
the "hes always been one step ahead of me after all" was like as perfect as it could get tbh, it looks just like the manga and tsukki like says it just right and yamaguchi comes onto the court behind him totally focused and aaah really loved it. then the service ace and tsukkis little laugh it really good
but then i'm torn on the actual serve and block, there's no inner thoughts on yamaguchis "oh no the ball isnt drifting enough" and then tsukkis silent reply "no that was plenty" before stuffing it, so we arent hearing their like mind reading/intuition connection there which was a bummer. and thennnn im not positive on this bit but i dont think anyone repeats anything about the serve and block being the perfect play?? (its yamaguchi echoing ukai in the manga) and then no little flashbacks to how theyve been training
HOWEVER the big main flashbacks of seeing how yamaguchi walks from behind tsukki to in front of him are there!!! and the way theyre presented is interesting? i was like taken aback by the decision to have the clips being showed within their silhouettes as they move toward each other (i couldnt even tell thats what it was at first tbh..) that i missed whether or not all the panels were in it..... (majorly disappointed in myself for that one). idk visually i found it a little confusing i guess and so i couldnt fully appreciate and im hoping itll look cool on rewatch when i understand whats happening
and then the high five ahhh it was pretty good, idk if anything will ever live up to that manga panel for me, the joy and success and sense of achievement in that image means so much to me lol, but its animated fairly well. do wish they didnt cover tsukkis smile tho
then kuroo asks how tsukki feels about volleyball and he says its fun and he smiles and its.. fine. like ugh its just one of those things were this entiiiire section just slightly suffered from being a two minute segment of a movie instead of a whole episode (or even just half an episode tbh), like something about his smile and saying it was fun just fell a little flat for me and i was unfortunately a little sad about it, i was hoping for a little more buildup and like emphasis. this is a huuuuge culminating moment for him and it didnt quite feel like it to me bc the movie had to have other priorities where a season wouldnt have
later one when tsukki and kuroo are like battling at the net exhausted tho and tsukki smiles again that was pretty good, the animated is really top notch when theyre all panting n stuff, and the voice acting there was great, really liked it
#holy shit there is a LOT in this lol#some positives and negatives tbh fair warning lol#mainly this is for me to kinda see how i feel about it all on second viewing#i highly recommend not looking if you havent seen the movie#garbage dump#hq#x
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hi! going anon cus i'm slightly embarrassed to ask this 😭
would it be ok with you if i made a character.ai of vampire Hoffman and used one of your drawings for the icon? totally ok if not- just wanted to ask!
yeah using my art for icons is ok :) if theres a place to put credit then thatd be cool but i assume not in this case
id just be wary about character ai in general, if thats alright haha
i admittedly dont really know a lot about it bc i never looked into it myself. i heard its training on fics? which isnt cool if true
im against ai art so i cant in good conscience turn around and give the thumbs up for a program(?) my writer friends seem to be uncomfortable with, so i have to do my duty and ask u to exercise caution and do some research before going ahead 🙏🙏🙏
perhaps look into roleplaying communities!
(ALSO unrelated, not because of you, i think im gonna switch anon off for a bit. was just something i was thinking of for a while. been going through some weird stuff lately, and my art has been getting a lot of attention lately too, and i dont wanna admit it but its adding to the Fears. so im just trying to mitigate things that make the fear meter go up, at least for the time being. this is my explanation in case anyone notices and wonders what happened)
(yall are also always welcome to request i answer anything privately if u dont want me posting it publicly, thats totally okay & fine & i do it too)
#i miss roleplaying but the old website i used is dead ough it was so fun.#killing reblogs bc i dont rly want to start a whole AI debate and increase the fear meter more kndmnbgnmb 🙏#jenna answers#jenna shut up#also on attention i know that sounds counterintuitive cuz i keep boosting old work cuz i obviously want more Attention right#but its more like.. making sure everyone who wants to see it sees it. and not necessarily go out of control and breach containment
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hi would u be willing to talk more ab ur belcher hcs that theyre all schizoaffective? :]
i can defs try! i cant promise i have really anything "smart" or insightful to say, cuz my husband and i just kinda draw from our own experiences :o
(if u are reading this and dont know what schizoaffective disorder is, im writing this w/ the definition of "a combination of schizophrenic symptoms and mood disorder symptoms like major depressive and bipolar disorder")
bob has felt the most schiz to us from the start, he's got his voices, which feel way more like he's acting as a mouthpiece for the objects he's talking to, rather than him just doing a bit. he knows its not "real" but also. it is to him. (i think hes also had some? hallucinations? but most are drug or stress induced and he also has a lot of cartoon dream sequences so...?) he struggles with paranoia and anxiety, and he's had pretty manic and depressive episodes in the show. i think he tries his best to stay grounded and self-aware with his delusions. he's very skeptical, and gets really irritated by misinformation. (probs also an affect of his autism tbh)
we also have a hc that he's more irritable and negative in the early seasons bc he's on meds that arent a good fit for him. (we dont really have meds hcs other than that. they might not be able to afford them)
linda's symptoms arent as obvious beyond her delusions like the raccoons and the cemetery stuff, but i think she's taught herself to suppress her issues so she could better support gayle who had more disruptive ones. her parents seem like the "stop being mentally ill its annoying" types. she has her own instances of paranoia and anxiety, but she mostly tries to smother and ignore anything negative she feels. VERY manic and impulsive tho. i think she also has some hallucinations in show but im drawing blanks on specifics.....
i would personally say tina is pretty depressive, but she's good at trying to cope in (mostly) healthy ways. her family is a good support system for her! she does have the most instances of visual hallucinations that arent cartoon bits (she seems to have them a lot when shes feeling guilty...) her anxiety and paranoia reminds me a lot of bob but also of gayle. they have similar outburts
gene has the least examples that i can think of.... i think he considers ken to be pretend and is just joking about him being real bc it annoys bob (compared to tina who thinks her horse Jericho is maybe...a little real) but i think he has some other hallucinations tht arent like that. hes surprisingly anti-social! he definitely often views himself as superior to the kids he knows. gets that from his dad lol. and his mania and impulsiveness are very much like linda :) he doesnt have depressive episodes as much as the others, but they hit him really hard :(
and louise! shes paranoid and has lots of aggression issues! to me she is also very depressed. (the puppet ep is esp relatable to me lol........) and she's VERY manic in the ambergris ep! i think she also has a couple instances of voices similar to bob's? but its kinda hard to tell the difference when shes still a kid who plays pretend with her toys. her talking to the taffy dummy feels more like what bob does tho.
i hope? thats the kind of hcs you were talking about? ive been trying to think of the right words for like 3 hours now. im very bad with words and so much of this stuff can also be attributed to other brain stuff, and one person can have a lot going on in one brain! so i hope i dont upset anyone with this post. thank u for ur time :)
#also gotta remember that its a Silly Jokes Cartoon so i dont really....think most of this is intentional#bob's burgers#hope this isnt. illegible word salad also. sorry......
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Replies
Also shorter ones today… mostly related to our previous replies and posts!
Anonymous asked:
After seeing Eel Floyd with Riddle
AND THOSE BITE MARKS 👀👀👀👀
I gotta know -
Did Floyd slip and slide in Riddle?
Or
Also
Did Riddle magically goldfish form and the two had merman sex???
Honestly I wasn’t thinking about Riddle also becoming a merman, but they absolutely have to have merman sex at some point, otherwise it just isn’t fair (to me) lol
And to answer your first question, yes, there might have been some slipping and sliding in Riddle involved~
Anonymous asked:
re: the gaslighting Jade ask. I randomly stumbled on your blog from other ones, and I literally blocked you because shroudcest triggers me. Ultimately, we are responsible for our own safety. As long as it’s properly marked for (which yours clearly is since I blocked you the second I made a tumblr), really all we can do is filter the things that hurt us out.
(im agreeing with you btw. draw what you want i cant stop you. just feel like i in particular make a point worth mentioning from seeing that. you can answer this or not bc obviously i probably wont see it anyway)
Anon! Whether you see this reply or not, thank you very much for writing this despite having us blocked lol
You really are making a good point, and I am glad that you are taking care of yourself and avoiding uncomfortable stuff. I really encourage it. Thank you for understanding and for approaching this issue with respect.
Have a good day.
Anonymous asked:
Gaslighting IS Jade’s love language. Also mushrooms.
Facts, Anon <3 He doesn’t waste his gaslighting and mushrooms on those he doesn’t find entertaining love!
Anonymous asked:
Honestly I can totally see Cater as the kind of guy that now and then buys a random manga just because the cover looks aesthetically pleasing, although if they are BL they are probably more oriented towards shonen-ai than explicit content. But also he wouldn't really read them because he finds the stories and characters a bit ridiculous (is he a bitter anti-romantic? or maybe his sisters used to collect shojo manga and he associates the love story genre with them?). I bet when he had roommates he had fun leaving one of his manga lying around, just to see people's reaction and go "aw, shoot, you saw it? that's sooo embarassing..." or something like that
To be honest, I can see that too. Cater seems like someone who isn’t all that into anime and manga, but is aware of it enough to recognise that the cover is pretty and that there is something gay inside (he might figure out the latter thing later as he looks inside the book lol). His sisters really could be into it though, so I can see him having certain associations.
lol Cater’s roommates “finding” his manga though… Don’t act so coy, Cater 😭
Anonymous asked:
Goddammit! Idia, you cannot escape me for long, one way or another, your chest will be licked! *shakes fist at the sky*
I love how this is turning into a Looney Tunes cartoon…
Anonymous asked:
Idia doesn’t have nipples. He accidentally shaved them off. Tragic 😔 L in the chat for his nipples.
Damn. I’m afraid I have bad news for the previous Anon.
Anonymous asked:
Do you have any HCs for Neige and/or Chenya?
We do have HCs about Neige/Vil and Chenya/Riddle (1,2)!
Anonymous asked:
It is I, 🐩 anon,
So I got a friend into twst and tell me why her favorite character is goddamn Crowley? I'm currently trying to convert her to Divus supremacy. Enough about this. Let me ask my silly little question.
Is there anything about TWST's story plot that you dislike or wished it was worked on more? Or character you wish were more fleshed out?
Your friend has quite the taste… She is probably a genius of sorts 😔🙏
I feel like I was pretty vocal about it, so I am sorry for talking about it again, but I really didn’t enjoy how Ch2 was handled and Leona in general, to be honest. I wrote a post about my grievances a whole year ago, but my stance didn’t really change. We’ve rewatched the majority of the main story since then, and I thought that maybe with fresh minds and fresh eyes we would enjoy Leona at least to some degree, but unfortunately it didn’t really help. The events don’t really help either…
There might be some other things, but this is the one I think about every time when we talk about the flaws of TWST writing.
Anonymous asked:
what is your notp?
A bunch of Leona ships come to mind, i.e. Leona/Malleus, Leona/Vil, Leona/Idia 🤔 But also a bunch of Trey ships, like Trey/Jade or Rook/Trey…
Anonymous asked:
if you had to go on a date with one of the twst boys who are you picking? i'm picking idia
Idia is a great option, Anon; he would be so uncomfortable and awkward, getting nervous about the smallest inconveniences and whispering “thank god” every time you don’t force him to do something… I would pick him to, but my second option would be Jamil. I think he’s pretty chill.
Katsu would've picked Jade because of course, this is the best pick.
Anonymous asked:
any old fandoms that you feel out of love with?
Can’t think of any, Anon… I feel like we never fall completely out of love with anything, just move on, but there is always an opportunity that we’ll come back at some point. Things like Homestuck are still on our minds constantly lol
There are some titles that we kind of started watching, but then stopped because it wasn’t fully out yet, and since then we kind of lost interest for this thing. And with some of these titles it’s very unlikely that we’ll ever go back, but it’s never 1000% impossible. But then again, it’s not like we loved these titles…
Anonymous asked:
Funfact: The crowley that crowley is named after used to perform sex based magic with men
Damn I hope this is what our Crowley also does. This is his dark secret that is very poorly hidden
Anonymous asked:
I think Riddle would be a really good teacher's pet
Oh he would <3 He is a teacher’s pet.
Ironically, I feel like this makes him a bit boring for Crewel…although it depends…🤔
Anonymous asked:
What is a ship you rarely draw but you love
I don’t draw any of them enough, I love them all! Waaaaah :(
I feel like I don’t draw Sebek/Silver nearly enough for how much we love them, Rook/Epel is also a rare one but we love it, Sebek/Idia could use more love, anything with Jamil too…
Anonymous asked:
Please share with us a full list of the preference of the TWST boys? Top or bottom? I typed up a list for you to use!
Anon, we have a list in our pinned post! But since you’ve typed up a list, I’ll go through the list again :) We also have a post in which we explain our reasoning for each choice, so you can read it too if you’re interested.
Oh! And if you meant some other types of preferences, please let me know. In that case though, we have a list of the boys’ kinks, which isn’t the same thing, but pretty close; so you can read this one too if you want <3
Riddle – bottom
Ace – top
Deuce – bottom
Trey – top
Cater – top
Leona – bottom
Ruggie – top
Jack - top
Azul – top
Floyd – top
Jade – top
Kalim – top
Jamil – bottom
Vil – bottom
Rook – top
Epel – bottom
Idia – bottom
Ortho – top
Malleus– bottom
Sebek – top
Lilia – top
Silver– bottom
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just a bit of a rant about being a fan i guess
the idea for my artbook was smth i put together as long ago as 2018 and actually back then it was intended to be sort of my departure from the FE fandom as a lot of ppl i’d known since the start of the fates fandom in 2016 were also moving on and i wasn’t having the best time in the fandom. In true cringe comedy, I’m still here though, and superbright is becoming a real thing and I’ve thought a lot about it serving its original intended purpose: my last hurrah in this fandom.
truth is, i still love leokumi. i still have comic ideas and AUs and art concepts i wasnt originally skilled enough to do before but could now. i also rly enjoyed engage and i want to draw more fanwork for it too. and i wish this felt like enough i guess? that i love smth and want to draw it? because it was enough for a long while? but now im just lost because honestly ive had a miserable time in this fandom and all that misery is catching up to me. ive probably gotten worse as a person thanks to fire emblem fandom because i used to actually tweet on main and try to make friends and now all i’m capable of doing is hiding and keeping things to myself. i cant make connections and i can only be quiet because i led myself to believe that this was the only way to protect myself from everyone else (and it rly never worked bc id still regularly get stupid and rude comments on my posts). i cant bring myself to bug people who arent into my ships with my ship content either so i just have to. exist with them i guess. exist quietly. churn out art once in a while i guess. simply being and not much else.
i want to try to fix this though like. should i take a break? let everyone forget i existed? should i remake my accounts and take the gamble that a lot of my “mutuals-but-not-really-friends-yet-im-trying-tho” won’t follow me to my new account? what do i do with any art i make in the meantime since art is my main hobby and theres no way im not drawing? do i try to leave the fandom even though all of this could happen all over again somewhere else? what would you do in this situation? i cant seem to figure anything out besides that im miserable and i think it sucks that this is the result of what should have been 7 years of my love and dedication for a video game.
anyway this isnt smth i can burden an individual with so its typed out here to burden everyone equally. did anyone else read the alcry*t forging bonds where leo says he can use brynhildr to turn lcryst to slime. i wish i were reduced to slime. no more neck pain on account of having no neck and i would be cute like those dragon quest guys
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