#im out of sorts tonight
Explore tagged Tumblr posts
Visit Tumblr Blog
Explore Tumblr blogs with no restrictions, modern design and the best experience.
Last Seen Tumblr Blogs
Fun Fact
China blocked Tumblr because of pornography and censorship problems in 2013.
Text
Little bright colored outfit with a fun vest ~
(shoes from ebay like 10 years ago. everything else is thrifted)
#ootd#jfashion#fashion#fantasy fashion#mori kei#....like... adjacent... lol#no idea what style this would be lol.. makes me think of like whimsical vaguely fantasy themed childrens book character#finally posting one of my aforementioned seven million drafts of actual outfits and costumes i have finished and edited#the photos for but just never feel like posting lol..#I need to find one of those people whos like 'omg i am ADDICTED to social media ugh i wish i could get off of it#im just browsing and posting like 60 times a daaaaay!!!' and take a little magical bottle and suck some of the social media#enthusiasim out of them. for moi. In exchange they can have some of my 'literally just never in the mood to post or interact with the#outside world ever' energy. We can balance each other. huzzah and so on#Though I think maybe it's part of the general thing I've heard of like.. I can't remember if it was in reference to adhd or just some sort#of general execcutive functioning issue type of thing - but the idea that things have to be ''just right'' before you do something. like#'oh i need to do this task. but i have to wait until XYZ first' or 'oh i can do this but only if X specific condition is met' or etc#The fact that I even have to be in a Specific Mindset to post. or sometimes will delay posting on social media because like 'oh well#I'm going somewhere tomorrow. somehow this matters. i cannot spend 5 minuts posting TONIGHT. clearly it will interfere#somehow schedule wise with the doctor appointment i have 15 hours from now. yes. yes. i must wait until my appointment is over#tomorrow afternoon. THEN i shall post' or etc. etc. lol. NOT even taking into account the many days#I just genuinely and physically sick and it's not even a mental thing. I just physically dont feel like sitting at the computer lol..#ANYWAY.. trying to get back into it. trying to get a business bank account.. make a proper paypal so i can start selling sculptures again.#selling clothes and sculptures.. posting about such things then of course as one must. etc... chanting to hype up and motivate myself lol#But yes. this is my favorite outfit out of the bunch so I am posting it first I guess.. maybe others later..#Also the purple dress says its from shein. which I've heard is bad fast fashion stuff. but maybe okay since its second hand? I havent#been to the bins since like 2020 or late 2019 even. and I think stuff like shein and temu has only become poular in the past few years#but I bet if I went to the bins now I might would find a good handfull of that stuff. Probably now not much different than what you#find in a walmart or a forever 21 or actual physical stores you can go to though. I hear quality of clothing is down everywhere no matter#where you get it or whatnot. What bountiful joys unfettered capitalism and exploitation bestows upon us (<being sarcastic).#Wearing one of my favorite little vests though. I love the texture of it and the clasps on it
88 notes
·
View notes
Text
i made a mabel pines themed beverage called "goodbye summer" and its so good that im literally in tears. ingredience for mabel juice:
greek yogurt. duh
a LOT of mango
just a little bit of strawberry and banana
blackberries for color
1 brick(??) of acai sludge
yeah i put my vitamins in here. this is how i take my vitamins
some flavor syrup called "mermaid" and another one called "unicorn". "mermaid" is pineapple flavoring, it literally didnt tell me what "unicorn" flavor could possibly be, but its pink
"some" alcohol. i didnt have any malibu so i used pina colada flavored wine. amount: well a lot of it
whimsy (1% milk)
it tastes like: pink. also wine
#sorry i dont have a picture i fucking Slurped it#i made a lot of it and it'll probably be my dinner tonight and breakfast tomorrow#gravity falls#<--sort of?? i mean its a mabel themed drink#you might be thinking: why were you crying over your “drink”#I WAS SO THIRSTY..ITS SO HOT.....I HATE SUMMER IM SORRY MABEL#we have a boil water advisory so my options for beverages are either just milk out the jug or wine out the bottle or this.
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
Biografts are made to kill and be killed.
#biograft phighting#phighting biograft#im a bit restless tonight#and i typed this in an attempt to sort out my thoughts#and thought this was very mych bio graft#im not putting any other fancy tags this will have to do#local god needs to shut up#phighting!#phighting
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
ethubs to me is like. tfw you kill and die for someone so many times that you can't even grow tired of it. it's mundane, sure, but in the way that loving someone is mundane. blood becomes like waking up to them every morning- an expected but beautiful nonetheless way of things being. it doesnt matter if they're killing each other or their enemies or pretending to do one and actually doing the other to them it is an act of devotion. and not the dramatic kind. tfw you die and kill for someone so often that instead of loosing meaning it gains sentiment. this is not a tragedy anymore!!! they are ripping it apart with their hands and laughing!!! is there anymore power to an actor than that? than turning the story to a comedy? they're sooo sitcom core. of course they love violence- there's no reason to be afraid of dying when it's not the end. they'll have another go at it, and another and another and another and another. the grief is real, sure, as real as the bloodlust- it's just not the thing that lasts
#idk if im saying this well. got them on the brain tonight but like.#eugh. words.#i just think that. ok the central problem to the life games is that the death ISNT permanent.#the stakes feel real#especially in the moment#but if you take a step back. there's been four games. can you really say jimmy's died first everytime if he's done it four times?#the thing about death is that you can only really do it once. anything else is just a mockery of it#you have to balance the feeling of jumping off a cliff after murdering your partner#with the fact that they met again in last life. they remembered that. how do you reconcile that?#to me. personally. the life series works best when you treat it as the game it is#a choice. yaknow? they're choosing to play this with the knowledge that it will feel real.#and yeah its more fun to write fic where the deaths matter i guess#but i sort of feel like that's missing the point#ethubs. are they even ethubs if they dont have that history?#i dont really think so#ykanow? i dont think that its really the same without the 'dying;#not that they did. i mean. the blood was there. but then they kept being. oh im out of tags ok bye
78 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rly is cringe to think about fandom Numbers because that shit is made up but it also it is about liking what u do and then it falling suuuper flat...
#delete later#MADE THE MORTAL MISTAKE OF CHECKING THE TAG and being curious to see how it was if sorted by kudos#SORRY posting about it is also cringe i know i know. had a long talk w friends yesterday abt it which cheered me up a little#and found they too in different fandoms also really get this Thing so its not just me being crazy petty etc etc but still#objectively i know the way Others have so much more reach is abt going in a bunch of servers adn building a Presence but i aint doing that#its just the natural answer seems to just be You Just Write That Bad... sigh whatever#time for medieval history tonight anyway <3#will delete this soon im just trying to get it out so i dont delete my actual work instead BWHAHA
10 notes
·
View notes
Text
working on something
#m really liking my noelle here#kris unfortunately just looks like i traced the prophecy pose. which i mean#i SORT OF did#noelle looks huge but. she is. so#next i. hm. what do i do#idk actually#i fucking hate linearting#i Do Not want to do that. especially on this shitty app without clipping layers or protect alpha#which leaves color. which i am also afraid of doing#ig im just gonna have to swap apps. and break out my drawing tablet at some point#but that day is NOT TODAY because it's 11:31 at night and i'm not doing anything that requires effort a#*this late#so NO MORE DRAWING TONIGHT#∪̶̕ ̪̕∪̶#≈⏡￢⏡≈#nutdealer posting#art#my art
13 notes
·
View notes
Text
I like Dick being romani as much as the next guy, but his situation in particular is one where im like. yeah, it's understandable if you'd rather not. firstly bc he was just white for most of his 80+ years of existing, and secondly bc the origins of making him romani are just straight up racial stereotyping... It's a hornets nest.
but as for why i keep it in my image of him. he's just so deeply detached from his heritage in a way that i find kinda comforting. im not romani specifically, but due to my family background, i have little to no connection to any cultural heritage on my moms side (and neither does she, really). Dick's relationship with his heritage isn't explored well from what I've seen of it, but the concept itself is meaningful. the concept of being detached. finding out there's a part of you, a part of your family that's different from what you thought it was. different from what you thought of yourself. different from what people think of you. you don't know it at all. It doesn't feel like it's yours to claim. a disconnect. It's isolating, but knowing you're not alone in your loneliness is an important concept, I think. I like the idea for its potential rather than the execution of it. I don't think I'm explaining this well, partially bc the whole thing brings up a lot of my own messy feelings.
TLDR: the actual stories about Dick's being romani aren't done well, but the bare-bones concept of it is something that resonates with me.
#very much a projection post#i grew up trying to understand a mexican heritage i have no real cultural connections in during the 2016 elections of all things#insecure in whiteness and privilege and the family you never met that makes you not quite white enough#not white enough to play the game. not hispanic enough to point out that it's wrong.#maybe i still have some stuff to sort out.#the idea of him learning to balance his existing privileges while also being allowed to care for his heritage is appealing. for reasons.#feel free to ignore this. im just feeling and thinking a bit tonight.
29 notes
·
View notes
Text
Rattling the bars of my cage once again with my indecisiveness
#figured out a title but now idk if i wanna post 1 or 2 chapters#cuz the first chapter is a short sort of prolouge thing#so i feel like i should post the second chapter too#but then i have less backlog#tho im not all that concerned with that since im writing ch8 rn#but both chapters is so many words#but then again yall ate up the 9k one shot i posted a month and a half ago#BUT i will posting both chapters tmr have the same impact i want them to#cuz part of the reason its two chapters is cuz i feel like ch1s end hits better at a chapter end more than a break#imo as the writer#aughgggg#idkkkkkk#either way yall will be getting at least one chapter tmr#im just agonizing over this cuz i work tmr so i gotta set this up tonight#enjoy my midnight ramblings
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
heres a fun idea instead of unlearning my unhealthy behaviors and fixing my self and coping and working through my trauma hows about i run away, disfigure my face, change my age and name, burn down my life and carve a new personality for myself and also reassemble my organs while im at it. like i need to at least replace my heart and slice open my liver. and never look at the sky again ive basically done it before i can do it again
#words out of mouth go br#normal we are normal#im in a mood tonight lol#throwing up and my organs come out in some sort of goo and the only thing i can say is im sorry over and over again#tw gore#tw self harm
35 notes
·
View notes
Text
im so so happy i was so unbelievably stressed about that paper ....like i was soooo sure it was shit from butt.
#but i could also sort of tell i was overthinking it....or at least like. id been staring at it too long#but im just relieved...been trapped on campus all week bc of just like#an insane amount of group meetings and papers and assignments due#but im going out tonight !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THANK GOD!#vicspeaks
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
.
#these are just some thoughts re: friendship as a result of tonight that i need to jot down somewhere but#realising that i really do have a strict and set idea of Good Friend(ship) and what that entails to me#and id written people off bc i wasn't yk ~receiving love or friendship the way id prefer and i was angry with them for that/hurt about it#did i communicate that to them though? nooo. was i fully right in that? also no. like just bc i felt unheard didn't fully mean#that they were doing something wrong. they were trying in their own way (and sometimes they weren't really or it just wasn't nice)#but that's about how we match and how we communicate right? this is so silly that's so basic but it never fully clicked for me like this#i was blaming them for stuff and building up resentment without ever expressing that (and i still haven't yk dhshsjd)#and i think where i went ~wrong was in thinking that bc i felt that way they weren't ~giving me what i need#when it's like... but did i pick up on the ways in which they DID appreciate me and show me love etc? did i give them ANYTHING to work with?#(ok yes occasionally but also... tangent but i was watching a variety show and they were teasing woozi about how#he gives interviewers/hosts literally nothing to work with. like no extra information for them to ask about or tease him for or anything#and i was like ohhhhhh. yeah i do do that sometimes with friends and it's genuinely smth i don't really know how to do like#giving casual information (but not too much and not too little???) so they can then ask questions etc. so then if im like ughh#they never ask (the right) questions or show interest (or let me talk but that's a different thing dhsjdjd) it's like...#well do i give them the chance to? much to think about thank you woozi)#anyways where was i dhsjsnsnsjns idk but it's soooo annoying that i haven't figured this all out yet#but im slowly letting go off a bunch of resentment that has truly no business being here and im trying to self reflect and all that#and im honestly doing so shit some days but others days it's? finding stuff that matters to me on a deeper level ig?#and all of it really does pale in the face of multiple genocides and it's. but yk. if i want to keep fighting#i need to build a strong foundation and sort my shit out as well and be present so im really really trying#and beating my stupid stupid depression and brain with a stick until i get there
9 notes
·
View notes
Text
had quite the night drive earlier this evening.
#just me rambling again#web weaving#(?)#uh. one of my friends who is out of town for college was visiting and i got to see him and our friends and the only core member of that#group of people missing was my ex girlfriend who you may also know of as my wonderful wife#who has I assume been very busy with their own life things but has also barely and very sparsely had any hint of communication with any of#us within the past few months which I've been realizing very recently sort of hurts my feelings because we used to be so close and#they had been saying that they would be constantly making sure we still were in each other's lives. but then very quickly have#seemingly dropped off the face of the earth#anyways. I was driving aforementioned friend who is in town back home (family home not college obv) and when i was finally going back#towards my house afterwards my Google maps finally lead me to an area that i was more familiar with driving and i got to an#intersection and it was telling me to take a right to go home but i knew that i knew the way perfectly from that intersection to my#ex girlfriend / best friend / wifes familys house from all of the times I've gone that direction through the past years and so#i turned off my directions and i took a left towards their house#not super sure why but my brain and body just knew it was something i needed to do and so i went and drove down their street and cried#a lot the whole time and then drove myself home from their house once again following a super familiar path#and idk im still feeling very emotional about it. the fact that halloween by noah kahan was the first song to play on Spotify#after i made that left turn im sure didnt help (knowing that i miss them so much and am going to be leaving this area myself#soon enough here and there's been an open offer for a while now that they are welcome to follow and live with me once they get their degree#(and also um. halloween is next week lol)#idk i just havent felt the full force of how badly i miss having them in my life until tonight. when i was around this person i could feel#our souls singing in harmony. i genuinely cannot describe the feelings of our relationship in words i feel like only vaguely abstract art#could communicate the connection that was forged between us and the level of understanding and knowing#something not dissimilar to looking into the sun directly or trying to describe a vivid color to someone who is completely blind#something about the way the entire universe breathes in unison and everything around us are all pieces of the same stars#sigh#i miss my wife tails i miss her a lot /ref
5 notes
·
View notes
Text
i need to do stuff but i. dont wanna
#the stuff in question is sort my CV out#but im eepy and i dont want to#i have to do it tonight though lmao#runway's rambles
12 notes
·
View notes
Text
'why are you smiling' because i have beautiful mutuals and we all love each other. go back to your sports romance you heinous bitch
#going to put a barrier in the middle of the room. let me live in peace#why is she even awake it's PAST HER BEDTIME#anyway i was studying when i reblogged that ask game and i got alexa to play ride by lana del rey#(bc that's my comfort song atm thanks to the roadtrippers <3)#and she shuffled a playlist that i SWEAR was some sort of coming of age driving through a tunnel vibe#bc it was just banger after nostalgic banger i got BUZZCUT SEASONED. TRYING TO STUDY#so yeah i was already in a nostalgic 'i miss my friends' vibe but that ask game wooooo it put me in a Mood#like i have so much love for my mutuals actually they're the coolest people on this godforsaken webbed site#they have me sat here smiling and giggling at my laptop so openly my sister felt the need to comment on it smh#anyway i kept being like 'after this one i'll stop for the night' bc i feasibly cant keep typing without pissing the fuck out of my sister#and then boom just sent one and im gonna need an ESSAY for that so i am officially done for tonight#i'll answer any others in the morning <3#hella goes home
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
urgh
#I KNOW its likely a wisdom tooth but now im like what if i ALSO have a cavity#ive just been in pain for most of the day and barely slept last night because it bugged me so much. I hope I can get a decent nights sleep#tonight and get this sorted out asap so at least I KNOW whats up#also this is silly but i got the last stuff for my loop cosplay today and me not feeling well enough to work on the final stuff rn +#the con being next week just has me hoping this wont get in the way of it
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
seonhee and sawashiro both being associated with purple's the most evil shit in the world now who the fuck am i supposed to put in my purple card holder
#snap chats#sorry guys im one of those girlies who are super into card holders now </3 esp the ones you can customize </3#highkey i got this cause i wanted to put my school id in it so i didnt have to take my wallet out every time i needed to get in my buildin#BUT ON THE LOWEST OF KEYS I GOT IT TO BE MENTALLY ILL TOO i was obsessed watchin people journal and make cute card holders#i dont get recc'd those vids anymore but i remember watchin em an bein like MAN i wanna do that.... thats so cute..#on the real i think card holder customizing's healthy for me. it helps me learn to use things i buy LMAO#CAUSE WITH STICKERS AND THE SORT I HOARD THEM AND NEVER USE EM#and i always get buyer's guilt even if it's something small so i just think. i have to learn letting go and things not being perfect is ok#YOU BOUGHT IT SO USE IT like those ishin colognes... like the scent'll fade anyway i should use them while i can...#as much fun and therapeutic I Think as this was tho i cant imagine having a need to get another card holder... tragedy..#regardless. this card holder's really cute </3 spoilers it's a kuromi one cause i needed more purple in my room i fuckin guess#the stickers were real cute.. also there was a lil baku... hi baku <3#which leads me back to my problem. '''''''problem''''''' yeah i dont even have a printer here but when i go back to my ma's i wanna be sick#walmart lets you get photos on that GLOSSY PAPER... tempted... anyway no listen to my non problems#cause in my heart i do associate kuromi with seonhee alright it just makes sense. PLUS baku and joon-gi#COUNTERPOINT. HOWEVER. there is no image funnier than slapping a depressed middle aged man who prob has a worryin body count#into a card holder decorated with hearts and sweets and bows with a big ass heart keychain danglin off it. like cmon#big brain move is to print out one pic each of em and just swap em out every other day LOOOL#i just want an excuse to show off the card holder.. i get why people have these now this was fun and cute....#ok bye i think ive been ill enough tonight#i thought i was gonna finish another comm but ☠️ ill just do them tomorrow morning they wont take long..
11 notes
·
View notes