#im only about halfway through but she said would you like a vampire book that is actually about the way

[aidenwaites]

night's edge by liz kerin is really good btw

[sapphicambitions]

hey! hey! why do you hate the television format??

Ah yes, thank you for reminding me

I would like to state for the record before we begin that this is my personal reasons for not enjoying the format of television and not “why television is bad'' because im sure there's many people whose reasoning for liking TV is the same as my reasons for disliking them. please dont get mad at me if you disagree lmao

I feel like the short answer could be: “I have a degree in theatre and i prefer books” 

But really i hate the fact that the story is subject to change via outside forces.

In a well written play or book, there is a beginning, middle and end. It is a complete story that has been well thought out and woven together. Every detail is important and makes sense dramaturgically. You have your characters and your plot and nothing about that changes. We’re taught in Theatre School (TM) that the playwright is the first artist, and everything goes back to the playwright’s words. The story cannot change because of outside forces and it will not change over time. Once a book has been published, it is done. And yeah in theatre, a play can be done by many people with multiple interpretations of the story but it always goes back to the playwright’s words as they are the first artist and it is about honoring those words. Yada yada. you get it.

TV is always subject to change. Actors leave because there was drama on set or because they have other projects to work on. Writers change and the tone of the show changes. Or they go to a different network and the show changes. You never know how long the show is actually going to go so it could be cancelled in the middle of an important plot they never got to wrap up or the show could extend past the original plot idea and the seasons get more and more ridiculous as they’re just trying to come up with shit to do so they can keep the show running.

Like supernatural, which went on for far too fucking long and just kept spitting out nonsense when they could have wrapped up in season five.

Like the Vampire Diaries, where the main fucking character Elena Gilbert left the show (which was ridiculous!!) or when her little brother Jeremy was just like written out of the show and then never talked about again like what the hell

Like Timeless, which got cancelled after two seasons and left so many loose ends (they had to like, beg for a movie to wrap everything up) 

Like the Magicians, which just, like, sigh. Y’all know. I don’t want to get into it. Y’all know. 

Hell, even Parks and Rec, with Ann and Chris leaving the show. If Parks and Rec had been a book Ann would have never left!!! Never!!! 

Characters get pregnant because the actors who play them get pregnant and suddenly THAT’s the plot line of the season. (Wynonna Earp, Brooklyn 99, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Sex and The City, Bones, Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Once Upon A Time, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, Parks and Rec, Grey’s Anatomy, The X-Files, Yes I Looked Up This List To Prove My Point)

If an actor breaks their foot then the writers have to change the plot. Everything about the story is subject to change due to outside forces and that might be a selling point for some people but i do not vibe with it!! 

And also, you’re watching the story unfold over the course of time and something could change halfway through the season and they abandon the really cool plot they were working on to suddenly set up a way for them to kill off the main character of the show. (okay apparently i do want to get into it with the magicians).

Like call me a snob but i like a concise arch! Something that the show is working towards, the story that they’re telling and the thesis of the show, and the end goal they’re working towards. I just honestly don’t like the “stories wrap up in one season and will we get another? Maybe? Okay yes we will so let’s come up with a new big bad for the characters to fight who’s got ideas” or like if you get seven seasons into a show and they’re like “And here’s my long lost sister that ive literally never mentioned before but we needed something exciting for the plot so here she is!” like i hate that shit. I know my old roommate loooooved when TV shows pulled twists like that so im not saying it’s bad writing im saying I personally hate this style of writing. 

I just keep throwing in these disclaimers so no one gets pissy at me lmao 

I think what caused me to realize and put a name to these feelings was watching the Schitt’s Creek Finale. I love Schitt’s Creek because it feels like one concise story. The characters all grow and develop and have an arch and at the natural conclusion of that arch, the story wrapped up. I loved that shit. It was a game changer for me. Any other show would have kept going and the tone of the show would have been totally different and frankly im glad they wrapped it up when they did and as they did. It was a perfect ending. 

I haven’t really watched the Good Place but I’m told similar things about it. 

Avatar the Last Airbender which we can all agree is the greatest show ever written had a clear plotline throughout the whole series and a goal they were working towards even if they did have side plots, it was all building up to one endgame. And it was stellar. 

I also recently rewatched parks and rec which is one of my favorite shows of all time and i do truly love it but like the whole point of the show originally was that they were gonna build a park and there were times in the show that they just totally forgot about that goal to work on other storylines until they were like ANN’S LEAVING WE GOTTA BREAK GROUND. That’s annoying! And once parks and rec started getting really popular and making more money they were able to be like “let’s send them to england! France! DC! Scotland! San Francisco! Let’s bring in Michelle Obama and Joe Biden and John McCain and Madeleine Albright! Which like all of that was really cool and some of the best parts of the series but also just another example of how the show changed over time as they got more name recognition and money. 

Also lmao i just had the thought that it doesn't really matter what community did because the point of that show was to be batshit and they succeeded spectacularly. What a good time. Just had to add that in there. 

So yeah that’s why i hate the television format because everything is subject to change from the plot to the tone to the writing to the characters and a lot of times there isn’t a clear narrative arch as they’re just coming up with nonsense to keep the show going and i just don’t vibe with that. 

So if i hate the television format why do i still watch it, you ask? You never shut about tv shows on your blog and yet here you are declaring that you hate them. What’s up with that. Well, the answer is simple. I have major FOMO. Also lmao quite honestly i just recently came to these conclusions and put words to these feelings during the quarantine so after 23 years of being pissy at tv shows all the time i honestly probably will watch less of it. I probably wont stop completely tho. Ive already said that im not gonna watch tv shows with queer characters until the show is over and its been confirmed for me that the show treats its queer characters and viewers with respect and dignity and i stand by that. (It’s the only reason why ive started to watch black sails.) im for sure never watching another cw show again. I have literally never finished a CW show because something has happened in it halfway through that pissed me off so much i never finished the series

So that’s my opinion does anyone also feel the same way? I feel like im crazy

[flowerslut]

BONUS DAY: Quarantine Rated: T for language. Words: 9,064

A/N: My favorite prompt, “suddenly human” was somehow NOT chosen for Jalice week. So I took some liberties here by combining a shitload of prompts together. Brace yourselves.

WHUMPTOBER CROSSOVER—No. 13: OXYGEN MASK & No. 21: INFECTION

Alice and Jasper face immortality together.

I’LL JUST LAY HERE WITH YOU

Twenty-nine days ago they were celebrating.

Birthdays weren’t something they acknowledged often. After Bella had been with them for a decade, their newest vampire had firmly put her foot down. She’d barely tolerated them as a human, but as an immortal being she’d loathed the parties.

Thankfully, there was still Renesmee and her milestones to keep track of. Of course, she hadn’t changed much since her eighth birthday, but apparently even human-vampire hybrids weren’t immune to the desire for a Sweet Sixteen.

Jasper had never seen Alice so elated to have someone so willing to plan a celebration with her. And she and Rosalie had once spent three years planning one of Rose and Emmett’s more elaborate weddings.

It started with a vision.

Turning the knob on the stove, Jasper cut the heat, ignoring the way his throat burned at the aroma that was wafting through the kitchen. It had been embarrassing, having to listen to Carlisle and Bella give him step by step instructions on how to light the gas stove over the phone, but if Alice had witnessed him struggle in a passing vision, she neglected to mention it to him.

He checked his phone then, knowing that no messages awaited him, but still hoping for a notification nonetheless. Someone would be dropping off more supplies today, and he needed to know where exactly to go in order to receive them.

He couldn’t risk interacting with any of his family directly. Not until they figured out what was going on.

It started with a vision.

Jasper reached forward, grabbing the canister from the boiling water, and began to wipe it dry. He knew it was warm enough due to smell alone. He hadn’t once used the food thermometer they’d stuck in their last delivery. While Alice’s condition had worsened, it hadn’t gotten so bad that she’d be at risk of being burnt.

He eyed a bag on the kitchen table, and at the assortment of crazy straws poking against the plastic, and rolled his eyes as he exited the room. Leave it to Emmett to try to find something to joke about with the situation.

He’d been pissed at the bonus items during that particular delivery—surely Edward and Rosalie hadn’t known Emmett was sneaking some extras into the package—but it had made Alice crack a real, genuine smile.

And those were so hard to come by now.

It started with a vision.

Twenty nine days ago they’d been celebrating Renesmee’s birthday. That included balloons and streamers and cake and human food and humans and an assortment of emotion that, by the party’s conclusion, had given Jasper whiplash. The headache he had that day didn’t ebb until late that night. Alice had been too preoccupied with clean-up to notice.

And Jasper had been too preoccupied with his headache to notice when Alice’s emotions caused the climate of the house to take a nosedive.

Walking through room after room Jasper eventually reached the stairs and began to slowly climb, focusing hard on the low buzz of the equipment running upstairs. With every step his misery intensified until he was struggling to keep the emotion at bay. Whether it was a good thing or not, Alice was too out of it most days to be able to tell.

Still, he didn’t want to slip up and accidentally physically share his current emotions with her.

“Jazz?” He heard her voice call when he was halfway up the stairs. And when her panic struck him he cleared the rest of the staircase in an instant.

“I’m right here,” he spoke, the canister already resting on the nightstand as he reached out for her, hyperaware of all the wires as he maneuvered her into an embrace. “Just wanted to get you something to drink.” Pulling back he focused intently on her face. Her eyes hadn’t been golden in days, despite the regular meals he supplied her with. Instead, her eyes were slowly darkening, a brown amber color taking over.

Her sigh of relief sounded more like a rasp, and when her face scrunched up in pain, Jasper felt his entire being ache. Reaching forward he readjusted the oxygen tube on her face, resting his hand firmly against her cheek as he watched her squeeze her eyes tight and focus on taking a few long, even breaths.

She felt just slightly warmer than she had the day before. The temporal thermometer that lay within the nightstand was suddenly at the forefront of his mind. Another one of the tools Carlisle had armed him with in their first supply drop off. Jasper had refused to grab the device until someone (Rosalie) explicitly and unkindly asked him what her temperature was that day.

He didn’t want to think about how she was warming every day.

“Let’s sit you up,” Jasper spoke quietly as he moved, pulling her fragile body into a sitting position against the headboard, tucking the blankets snuggly around her as she blinked herself into awareness.

“How long was I out?” She rasped again, wincing as she shifted. Lifting a hand she scratched at her ear. The hair had grown infinitesimally over the past several weeks, but it was one of Alice’s biggest complaints. After living a hundred years with her hair the exact same, the instant it began to grow she’d panicked.

And Jasper had added another thing to the list of symptoms she was experiencing.

“Only a couple of hours,” he moved back toward the night stand, retrieving the canister. “This is the last of it,” he commented as she accepted the stainless steel canister with her bare hands. Barely a second later she was wincing, the container falling to the blankets that were lying across her lap.

Jasper had grabbed it and returned it to the table in an instant. “Alice!”

“I’m fine,” Alice hissed, holding her shaking hands to her chest “It’s not hot, I swear. Seriously,” then, she showed him her palms. They didn’t appear to look any different than usual, but still, Jasper was mortified. Maybe he should’ve been using the culinary thermometer after all… “Jasper. It’s fine,” she assured him between hurried breaths. “I’m not burnt or anything. It just really hurts to grip things today.” 

“I’m sorry,” he still apologized quietly, knowing how much she hated hearing the words from him. “I didn’t know.”

“Another symptom for Carlisle,” she half-smiled, and Jasper felt his heart clench at the sight. Those smiles never reached her eyes.

Twenty-nine days ago Alice had been putting stringed lights back into storage containers when the first vision struck. Jasper had been distracted, up in his study, re-reading one of his many comfort books to try and curb the pain in his skull.

Jasper never felt Alice’s initial shock. What he felt was Edward’s powerful fear, and acute mortification.

By the time Jasper was in the living room, Alice was screaming.

Picking the canister back up, Jasper moved to sit back on the bed besides Alice. But when she saw what he was about to do she lifted up a hand, placing it against his arm. “Jazz, no. It’s fine. Give me a few minutes and I can do it myself.”

“I can help,” he insisted, his words quiet as he prepared to hold his breath and twist the canister open.

The human blood was a new addition to her diet. One that Carlisle had suggested after her body had rejected animal blood for the second time. She’d been wholly unable to hunt since the beginning, but she’d still been able to drink from whatever animal Jasper could grab that day.

When her teeth began to, quite literally, lose their edge, their family had been forced to improvise. Jasper didn’t know how they’d attained the initial bags of animal blood, but he was thankful for their efforts. He’d ruined the carpet in the den attempting to exsanguinate a deer, and had only salvaged less than a pint for her. After that, Carlisle had figured something out.

The first time she’d been sick—the animal blood violently expelling itself from her tiny body from the way it came, and ruining the couch in his study—was the first night she slept. Jasper called Carlisle, hysterical and screaming, thinking that whatever was happening had finally killed her.

She’d woken up less than ten minutes later, disoriented but alive. That had been two weeks ago, and Jasper hadn’t left her side for more than ten minutes since, even for a supply pickup.

“You said it’s the last of it,” Alice spoke, her frown deepening when Jasper fully screwed the lid off the bottle, “does that mean it’s a supply day?”

He nodded as he pressed the edge of the container to her mouth and tipped it back, trying hard to look away as she gulped down the blood. His thirst had been killing him the past few days, but he knew that he’d rather starve than deprive Alice of even one drop of sustenance.

“Her body is trying to replenish itself,” Carlisle theorized to him just the day before over the phone, “try and pay attention to what blood type she favors. It might become useful information.”

Her eyes hadn’t changed to red the way he’d expected them to—the way he’d hoped—but instead, every day, they darkened slightly, more orange-ish brown than anything.

It was an almost-human color.

Twenty-nine days ago they’d been celebrating. And then Jasper was in the living room and Alice was shrieking, demanding that everyone get out and that no one come near her and that they get out now and leave.

“Alice,” Jasper had flickered to her side, terrified at the emotions coming from her. But she’d pushed him away so hard he put a dent in the wall, the wood and plaster crumbling beneath his back.

“No!” She’d sobbed, “Stay away! Edward! Get them out! Explain later! Go, now!”

But even Edward, who knew what she was thinking and who had seen what she’d seen, couldn’t bring his feet to move. “Alice, hold on a second.”

Jasper felt Alice’s emotions blank and then come back full-force; it was the tell-tale sign of another vision stealing her attention. And when Edward’s terror trumped Alice’s, Jasper found himself staring helplessly at the redhead.

“Go,” the boy turned toward the family and barked the orders, “everyone get out, now.”

“What is it?” Jasper demanded, his frustration mounting. He trusted Alice with his life, but he’d never felt a heartbreaking fear like this from her before. “What’s going on?”

“Jasper,” Edward yelled as Esme and Bella—who had come to see what the commotion was about—ran off with Renesmee. Emmett and Carlisle were on a hunt and wouldn’t be back for a few hours. “I’ll explain later, we have to go.”

But when Jasper tried to approach Alice again—he’d leave as long as she was by his side—she screamed at him, backing away like a frightened animal. 

“NO! Don’t come near me!”

“Jasper! Stop! Let’s go!”

“I’m not leaving until someone tells me what’s going on!” His heart broke as Alice looked at him with fear in her eyes. But as an empath, he knew she wasn’t afraid of him as much as she was afraid at what she’d seen.

 “Jazz, please, please, please don’t come near me,” Alice begged as he slowly approached anyways. And the closer he got to Alice the farther Edward inched toward the back doors, his terror permeating the room.

“Alice, please…”

“You have to go before it’s too late.”

“Jasper, stand back!”

“I’m not leaving you,” Jasper spoke directly to Alice, barely an arms-length away now. “Whatever is going on, I’m not leaving you here.” Whether the Volturi were coming for her, or whether some freak natural disaster was set to swallow their neighborhood whole, he didn’t care. He’d rather die than leave Alice to face whatever it was that she and Edward were so terrified of currently.

“I can’t let you,” she shook her head firmly, her expression full of devastation as she backed up against the far wall. “Jasper, please, I don’t want you to get sick.”

“Sick?”

And when thick, silver liquid began to stream down Alice’s face, venom pooling in her eyes, Jasper’s entire world shifted.

By the time Jasper reached forward, wiping the venom from her face and confirming that yes, this was real, and no, this was not good, Edward had vanished, running after their family into the dead of night.

“No,” Alice sobbed, shaking her head as Jasper gathered her up in his arms, “No, not you, too. I don’t want you to die, too.”

“Please hunt today,” Alice spoke after Jasper recapped the now-empty canister. “Please. When you go to get the next shipment. I can’t stand to see you like this.” Reaching out she rested her hand against his cheek, her thumb brushing the bruise-like shadows beneath his eyes as she gazed at him with love and concern.

Jasper shook his head. “Carlisle is sending some more animal blood with the next one, that way I don’t have to leave the house.”

“That’s not going to be enough to sustain you,” Alice frowned, pulling her hand back into her lap. Jasper didn’t miss the way she was lightly massaging her palm. Even the slight affections she showed him pained her now.

“I’ll make it work.”

“How are you supposed to take care of me if you can’t take care of yourself?” The words were gentle, but they struck Jasper like a physical blow.

“I’ll take care of you no matter what.”

Alice sighed, and then there was a pause. “I can’t see them.”

He stared at her blankly, waiting for her too elaborate. “Who?”

“Anyone. I can’t see Carlisle or Esme. Or Bella or,” her voice cracked, “or anyone. I’m even struggling to see you now.”

Jasper nodded calmly, not wanting any of his reactions to worry her further. He would have a moment to himself soon enough. “And your dreams?”

“They’re getting a little less fuzzy. But Jazz,” and her fear in that moment was very real, “if I can’t pull visions up the way I used to, I don’t know what I’m going to do.”

And truthfully, he didn’t know what they were going to do either.

They didn’t know what was eating away at Alice or what sickness she was afflicted with. They don’t know what caused it or how it had struck her. The only thing they knew—and only because of Alice’s first few visions—was that there was a chance it was contagious, and it would very likely kill her.

He’d kissed her through her tears after the third day, when she finally confessed that she very likely had sentenced him to death just with her proximity alone.

But Jasper would walk through the fires of hell day in and day out if it meant he wouldn’t be leaving Alice to face this sickness alone. Whether he lived or died he didn’t care. And if Alice did die… well… he could only hope it was as contagious as they feared…

Leaning forward he pressed a kiss to the side of her head. Alice tilted her head up, lifting a hand to hold his face still so she could plant her own kiss firmly on his lips.

“I love you,” he spoke softly against her lips before kissing her again, “and even if the visions go, you’ll still have me.”

“I’m scared,” she whispered, and when Jasper focused back on her expression, he realized her eyes were closed tight again. Setting the empty canister on the bed-side table, Jasper was careful as he climbed into the bed to lie alongside her. He didn’t want to unplug a single wire.

The electrocardiogram wasn’t registering anything—as it shouldn’t; Alice’s heart had been still for a century now—but Carlisle wanted her hooked up to the device regardless.

“Just in case,” the other man had said over the phone as Jasper had sorted through that delivery. “I know you don’t want to hear this, but if she continues to display more symptoms like this, she may be human before the new year.”

Jasper pushed the memory from his mind as he pulled Alice close, allowing her to snuggle closely, still wrapped tightly in layers of blankets. Even with the thermostat on 80, Alice shivered day in and out.

The wetness that dampened the collar of his shirt made his heart ache.

They remained like that, lying next to one another as Alice’s oxygen concentrator hummed. Jasper hated how he just knew she was warmer. Not as warm as humans were, but even through the layers separating them he could feel the warmth of her body.

She wasn’t indestructible anymore, and Jasper didn’t know how to handle that. Even with her body pressed tight against his, he worried. What if one day he kissed her and hurt her? Or if he squeezed her hand to comfort her and broke her fingers?

He could finally feel some measure of empathy for Edward while he’d been dating Bella all those years ago. The fear of hurting her was prominent in his every move.

Her cardiovascular system was still in limbo, and even as her body warmed and her cheeks slowly filled with color after every meal, her heart was still not beating. Against all odds though, her lungs were operating normally. No longer could Alice simply sit, not thinking about how her lungs didn’t require oxygen unless she needed to speak. 

The day that symptom presented itself, she’d gasped for hours, uncomfortable and panicking. Jasper had been on the phone with Carlisle, desperate for guidance, and in hours they’d delivered the necessary equipment.

Hooking up the machine and wrapping the oxygen tube around his wife’s delicate face had made Jasper feel insane. As if this wasn’t real, and he was hallucinating this. 

It had felt like the beginning of the end.

Eventually, he pressed a kiss to her head and left the room with the promise to return quickly.

He answered his buzzing phone as he flitted down the stairs.

“I’m on my way.” He spoke without looking to see who it was.

“Carlisle wants you to bring the empty oxygen canisters.”

It was Edward. Jasper shook his head at the request. “I have no way of cleaning them. And even if I do sanitize them I don’t want to risk it.”

Whatever it was that was warming Alice and that he potentially carried, Jasper didn’t want it transferring to any of his family.

“Just bring them. We can leave them to sit for a couple of weeks and then one of us will bring them back.” Edward commented.

Jasper sighed, already half-way out the front door, before turning back to the kitchen. “I don’t have time for this,” he growled impatiently into the phone. The tanks were unnecessary now that Alice was on a concentrator. Jasper thought it was a stupid risk but he’d been low on patience for days now and wasn’t about to argue now.

Grabbing a single empty tank he turned back and was out the door in an instant.

“Where are you?” Jasper spoke into the receiver.

“At the end of the driveway.”

Jasper paused at that, his feet grinding to a halt in the grass. He was suddenly reminded of the last time he’d met up one of them at the end of the driveway, two and a half weeks prior. “You better be alone.” It was dangerous enough for him to interact with any of his family members even at a distance, but whenever they showed up in groups it ignited his anger.

As far as Carlisle was aware, everyone else was either asymptomatic or simply wasn’t sick like Alice. But Jasper wasn’t about to be the one that passed… this on to their family.

“I am,” Edward snapped back, as if Jasper’s words, and not just his ability, could inspire a quick jump to irritation. “I couldn’t exactly carry everything in this shipment. Forgive me for bringing a car.”

Jasper hung up the phone then and made off quickly toward the end of their long driveway. It was a quick run, but Jasper was looking forward to getting this exchange over with. Edward was already wasting precious seconds by requesting an old oxygen tank. He wasn’t about to waste anymore time arguing with the younger vampire.

He saw the car before he saw Edward. It was a deep green color with a matte finish. Jasper could tell just by looking at it that this must’ve been the pet project Rosalie had taken up after they’d left for their Baltimore house back further east.

“She needs anything to focus on that’s not this,” Emmett’s words, like always, lacked proper tact, but while Jasper had glared at his brother over the FaceTime call, Alice had nodded understandably.

A car like this would surely stick out like a sore thumb in Martinsburg.

When the car door opened, Edward’s voice rang out. “She’s already moved on to another one. This one is going in storage after this drop off.”

Jasper didn’t nod, but he did watch carefully as his brother began to quietly empty the contents of the trunk of the car onto the pavement. A few large crates, and some smaller paper bags. When Jasper inhaled deeply, he furrowed his brow in confusion.

“Food?”

Edward closed the trunk and turned back toward Jasper, his expression grim. “Carlisle thinks it might help.”

“Help how?” It didn’t even matter that Jasper didn’t know the first damn thing about making and preparing human food. And it was irrelevant that oftentimes just the smell of human food left Jasper in a foul mood. What mattered was that having to feed his wife human food felt like another insane task he’d been given, and he didn’t know how the fuck he was supposed to just nod and go along with it all.

“I’m sure you can guess.” Even though they were standing quite far apart—at least ten meters—Jasper could clearly see the frustrated furrow of Edward’s brow. Jasper knew he hadn’t been the most pleasant person to interact with over the past month—it was one of the reasons Rosalie elected to tinker in her garage instead of sit on calls or volunteer for supply drop-offs, and it was why Esme had done one, and only one.

But Jasper wasn’t looking to snap at anyone today. He simply wanted to get what he needed (although today’s delivery would take a couple of trips) and go back home to his ailing wife.

“Are her visions still wavering?”

Jasper forced himself to swallow the lump in his throat. Looking away from Edward, he instead stared at the grocery bags piled beside the crates. “They’re nearly gone. She can only see me while awake, and others when she sleeps.”

Edward nodded, and Jasper hated how he knew the boy was digging through his thoughts, collecting images of Alice’s deteriorating, weakening body, and hearing the very real doubts Jasper had currently. Jasper gestured to the tank he was holding. “What do you want me to do with this? I’m not giving it to you.”

“Just toss it over there,” he gestured vaguely to a patch of bushes beside the driveway. “I or Emmett or whoever will pick it up in a couple of weeks.”

Jasper tossed the heavy item to the side without a second glance, his eyes still trained on the supplies. “Is there…?”

“Human and animal blood, yes.” Edward tapped the crate in the front with a foot.

Jasper nodded, swallowing the venom that pooled in his mouth, knowing that he’d be able to drink soon. When surprise and curiosity pulsated off of the boy, Jasper finally met his eyes. “What?”

“You seem fine.” Edward observed with half of a shrug. “I mean, physically. There’s a chance this actually isn’t contagious—”

“Stop,” Now. Jasper would turn and go straight back to the house without another word if Edward kept it up. With his fury just hiding beneath the surface, Jasper thought pointedly. Alice knew her visions would fail. Alice knew you guys would want to come help. But as long as we have those few, early visions of hers we need to be careful. I can handle things over here. When Carlisle finishes analyzing her venom and finds actual fucking answers, let me know. Until they, stay put. I’m fine, and I’m handling things. “Don’t you dare put yourselves in danger. Not until we figure this out.”

The two stared at each other for a few long seconds before Jasper felt himself start to get antsy. He’d only been away from the house for barely more than five minutes, but the more time passed the more afraid he was that Alice would fall asleep and wake again, scared and disoriented, with him nowhere in sight.

“I’ll go,” Edward finally nodded toward the house as he walked back toward the driver’s side and opened the door. “Please text Carlisle her temperature when you get back. And yesterday’s summary, too. Please, Jasper. We’re doing our best.”

And with that, he climbed into the car, started the quiet engine, and pulled off. Jasper waited until the car pulled around a bend in the distance, a thick patch of trees obscuring the vehicle from sight before he ran forward and grabbed the first crate, and in seconds he was rushing back toward the house.

He was still several hundred meters from the house when the sound of hacking reached his ears. Jasper nearly dropped the crate to the ground as he rushed through the front door and flickered up the stairs and into Alice’s bedroom, only to find her crumbled in a heap on the floor, wheezing and coughing.

“Hey, hey,” he swept her up into his arms quickly, wondering why on Earth she’d decided to pluck all the electrodes off and find herself a spot on the floor, far from her oxygen. But before he could ask what she was doing, he felt the dampness that covered her thin flannel pajamas and his heart broke.

Her gasping came from her attempts at crying without her oxygen tube. Jasper maneuvered her back onto the bed—being aware to avoid the wet spot in the center of the bedding—and placed the tube around her head, shushing her.

Two hours, one bath, and a change of bedding later, Alice was fast asleep in the bed, her hand limply clinging to Jasper’s as he typed a long text with one hand.

Things are worse, he began the text. I don’t know what to do.

It started with a vision.

On day thirty-two, Alice ate her first human meal she could ever recall. It wasn’t much; a thin soup that he’d unpacked and warmed from the last shipment. She sipped it slowly, getting some of it down her front. It was hard, she admitted quietly to Jasper, to use a spoon when all she had ever known was biting down on flesh and sucking down blood with force.

She’d managed to eat a single cracker before breaking down in tears, broken up over the very fact that it didn’t taste entirely repulsive to her anymore.

On day thirty-four, Jasper picked up another shipment. Emmett was in a somber mood as he dropped the small delivery off. Groceries for Alice, mainly. 

“Tell me you have any news at all.” 

Jasper raised an eyebrow at that, watching from a distance as his adopted brother shuffled and frowned. Sadness never suited Emmett, who was one of the brightest personalities Jasper had ever known; the guy had radiated positivity ever since the former-solder had known him. 

“I don’t.”

Emmett shrugged at that, and Jasper hated how the taller man’s mood dampened further at those words. “Well, they always say no news is good news.”

Jasper met his sad golden gaze with a severe one of his own. “If I had good news we wouldn’t be doing this, Emmett.”

On day thirty-five, while Jasper read aloud to her, Alice accidentally scratched herself. Much like her hair, her nails were also beginning to grow at a snail’s pace. Along with that, they were more brittle than she was used to. While reaching over and adjusting the zipper to Jasper’s jacket she’d broken a nail, chipping the edge slightly. Then, she’d reached up to tuck a strand of hair behind her head, scratching the now-delicate skin on her face.

It didn’t bleed, but Jasper could still smell the blood, resting idly beneath the surface.

On day thirty-seven they finally sat down and acknowledged what was happening. Jasper refused to say the word ‘human’ but Alice spoke it with a sad resignation, knowing that her body was somehow de-petrifying. “I don’t know if I’ll survive,” she whispered to him as he held her closely, tracing soothing shapes against her back. “In some visions it all ends here, in this bed. In others I can see myself all warm and pink, but the visions don’t go much farther than that, no matter what I do.

“I’m almost positive that I die, Jazz.” She whispered into the silent room. It remained silent for a while after that conversation, until Alice quietly informed Jasper that she needed to use the restroom, and he carried her out of the room, his mind still miles away.

On day forty-one, Alice’s temperature spiked. She slept seventeen hours that day, shivering for most of it, and crying out occasionally, with visions now only plaguing her in her sleep. Jasper held the thermometer against her head and when it registered 96.1 he threw the device, smashing it to pieces against the far wall of the bedroom. Alice didn’t budge.

On day forty-two, Alice woke up, her memory foggy. “Mom?” She called out, sitting up disoriented before Jasper could plant himself in her line of sight. When she flinched at the sight of him, gasping loudly, her shock smacked Jasper across the face. It took several long seconds for her to calm herself, recognition registering to Jasper before it showed on her face. “I’m sorry,” she gasped, hand against her chest as she struggled to regulate her breathing. “I’m sorry Jasper.”

On day forty-three Alice kissed him, harder than she’d kissed him in over a month. It was when her hands found the first button on his shirt that he stopped her, her name only a warning on his lips.

“Please,” she whispered as she kissed her way down his neck, her hands finding a different button as she pressed herself against him, “Jasper, please. I don’t know when we’ll ever be able to again.”

On day forty-three Alice and Jasper spent the entire day in bed. They’d pause in their lovemaking periodically for Alice to use the restroom, or eat a meal, or take a nap, and then resume in between. Jasper was used to handling her with care, but now it truly felt like his wife was made of glass. He was as careful as he dared, knowing that the second he hurt her in his passion would be the end of their physical relationship as far as either of them knew it.

It was early in the morning when Alice kissed him firmly and pulled away with a wince. “I think I need to stop,” and something akin to perspiration was beginning to gather on her forehead, her growing hair sticking to it firmly, “I’m… aching.”

And then, that was that.

On day forty-five she woke up with wide-eyes and was immediately unresponsive. Jasper spent several horrifically long minutes talking to her, checking her vitals, gently massaging and tapping her shoulders and limbs, trying to get her to come back to him, to speak, to do anything other than lie there, stare, and breathe.

He was seconds away from giving up and sending another hysterical phone call Carlisle’s way when she blinked twice and lifted her hand up, blindly reaching toward him. 

“Alice, Alice, oh thank God,” Jasper pressed her warm hand against his cheek, inhaling slowly in order to collect himself and prevent his ability from affecting her. “It’s okay, it’s…”

But when Alice forced her eyes to look at him—warm, dark brown eyes—Jasper froze as he felt her wipe wetness from his cheeks.

“I’m so, so sorry,” she whispered as he jerked back, his hands wiping the venom from his face with a panic. 

For two days, Jasper’s gift was hard to control. Meaning that now, to his complete and utter dismay, Alice was just as miserable as he was.

It wasn’t that he cared about being a vampire. Sure, the power it supplied him with to protect Alice and his family was something he wouldn’t trade for anything, and with Alice slowly reverting back into a human he felt comforted that at the very least he could keep her safe.

But how was he supposed to protect her from all the dangers that were out there when he, too, would be human in time?

Forty-seven days after their family ran and they barricaded themselves in the house, confined to their West Virginia property, Alice broke.

“I wanted you to run,” she sobbed with all her might, yanking wires and throwing anything she could get her hands on across the room. “I wanted you to go with them. I didn’t want you to die, too. It’s my fault this is happening, it’s all my fault.”

She wouldn’t let Jasper anywhere near her that day. Even when she slept, her emotions were a turbulent storm, making it difficult for Jasper to even sit at her bedside while she tossed and turned and shivered.

On day forty-eight Alice spent the day apologizing profusely. For everything and anything under the sun. Jasper simply shook his head, kissed away her tears, and held her close. All while assuring her that she had nothing to apologize for. 

It wasn’t her fault they were dying, after all.

On day fifty-eight, Jasper had a sobering phone call with Carlisle and Edward.

“I reached out to Aro,” and Carlisle didn’t even pause in his sentence when Jasper hissed ferociously, “to see if he could provide any help, or any answers.”

“If anyone wants Alice alive as much as we do, it’s Aro, Jasper. Stop,” Edward spoke up loudly. And although the boy couldn’t hear Jasper’s thoughts he had decades of knowledge of his inner-thought process to know precisely where this conversation was heading. “It wasn’t anything we wanted to do, with Alice as weak as she is—”

“She said so herself,” Carlisle chimed in, not giving Jasper time to verbalize a response, “she doesn’t think she’ll make it out of this. And with you sick, too, we aren’t left with many other options.”

“The Volturi have far more resources than we could ever dream of having,” Edward spoke. “If this is something that’s ever been documented before, they’ll be able to find it.”

“But as far as Aro is aware, he’s never heard of anything like this happening before. Especially something that can be contracted by other vampires, too. We’re all in the dark here.”

Jasper refused to update them on his own state that day. It was bad enough that Alice had gone behind his back—quite literally—and texted Carlisle that Jasper’s first symptoms had begun to materialize the other day, but he didn’t want anyone’s attention on him. Alice was the priority. Alice would always be the priority, and Jasper refused to give any information to his family on his own state entirely.

But still, he knew that Alice was very likely texting Esme right now while he listened to Edward and Carlisle prattle on about their research and findings, and about how ultimately, they’d come up with no solutions.

If Alice died, Jasper knew he wouldn’t have to wait for this sickness to kill him in order to join her.

And with this thought it was as if Edward was truly there, in person. “Jasper. Hang in there. We’re going to figure something out,” the boy insisted after a length of silence had fallen across the line. “Don’t do anything foolish.”

On day sixty, she fell asleep and didn’t wake up.

Jasper sat by her bedside and waited. After the first day, he called Carlisle, only for Esme to pick up the phone and ask him what was wrong. The sound of her voice, so caring and full of love, caused him to finally break down. He found himself crying venomous tears for nearly an hour as he listened to her soothing words.

“The best thing you can do is stay with her,” she said eventually. “Talk to her maybe. If its anything like our transformations, she can likely hear you. Tell her you love her, and stay close.”

So that’s what he did. For the entirety of that second day, when he wasn’t on the phone with a member of their family, he sat at her bedside and talked. About her. About their relationship. About how devastated he was that this illness had struck her. He reminisced out loud about their first meeting, his many regrets, and about how even though now human blood had been introduced back into his diet (his body had begun to reject animal blood days ago) it felt completely and utterly ridiculous that it was what had driven him to madness time and time again.

He talked about how much he loved her. About how she was everything to him. The reason for his attempts at interacting with the public, the reason he abstained from human blood in the first place, and the reason he consistently pushed through his thirst. She was the reason he’d stopped hating his appearance, scars still prominent on every inch of his skin. She was the reason he’d given peace a chance, and the reason he now had a family to call his own.

She’d given him everything beyond what he could have ever hoped for in this cursed afterlife of his, and he told her such as she lay there, the only movement coming from her chest slowly and steadily rising and falling. He talked more that day than he’d spoken in a long, long time.

“I suppose all that ‘playing human’ should’ve helped us out better for this, huh?” He spoke out loud into an empty room sometime after midnight on the second day. “You’d think it would’ve prepared us for something crazy like this, instead of sending us to the brink of hopelessness.”

On the third day, Alice’s temperature skyrocketed, registering a fever that Jasper could do nothing to break. He cycled through damp rags, always keeping a cool, fresh one pressed against the burning skin of her forehead, being careful not to bump any of the wires, old and new.

Carlisle had to talk him through the insertion of the IV the night before. Now that her body required human food and water, Carlisle explained that it was vital in keeping her healthy and alive. Still, it had felt alien to poke at her skinny, fragile arm, looking around for a vein that hadn’t pumped blood in over a hundred years.

Eventually he placed it somewhere Carlisle—who’d been video called to assist—approved, but even still, Alice did not budge.

On the third day, Jasper climbed into bed with her and carefully pulled her close to him. His own temperature wasn’t as cool as it once was, but he hoped that even in her unconscious state it would help to soothe her somewhat. He closed his eyes and focused hard on her slow, even breaths, combined with the low buzz of her oxygen concentrator.

And in minutes Jasper was asleep for the first time since the nineteenth century.

He woke up with a start, mind immediately aware of Alice’s prone form beside him as he moved himself up and out of the bed. His entire body was shaking as his mind caught up with what was happening. His entire head felt foggy but despite not having slept in well over a century he knew that something had woken him up.

It started with a vision.

On day sixty-three Alice’s heart began to beat.

It was a slow, steady rhythm. With one hand Jasper quickly dialed Carlisle and with another he reached out, resting his fingers against her wrist as he counted the beats. Feeling a pulse flutter beneath his fingers didn’t help to combat the dizziness Jasper was still fighting, but he knew that he had to pay close attention. Alice’s life—Alice with her beating heart and blood-filled cheeks and her fragile skin and bones—now hung in the balance.

“It’s beating,” he spoke in lieu of a greeting, “her heart. It just started back up. About,” he focused for a few seconds, “seventeen beats per minute. She still isn’t awake, but she… there’s a pulse.”

“Oh my—hold on; Grandpa!” A familiar voice yelled in the background of the call, and Jasper’s dizziness increased as he realized Renesmee had answered Carlisle’s phone. “Mom! Aunt Rosie! Where’s Grandpa! It’s an emergency! Uncle Jasper says—”

“What’s going on?” Rosalie was on the phone immediately, and Jasper had to close his eyes and rest his head against the side of the bed as he focused, forcing himself to concentrate on counting Alice’s heart beats. “Jasper?”

“Her heart is beating, Rose,” he spoke miserably. “Not fast. And she’s not awake.”

“Ness is getting Carlisle now,” Jasper could hear how it felt like suddenly Rosalie was moving around quickly. “What’s her respiratory rate?”

Jasper looked up then, eyeing the silent machines with confusion. Horror fell over him when he realized that not only were they silent, not even registering Alice’s slow pulse, but they were completely shut off. It wasn’t something he’d noticed before he fell asleep. He’d been too preoccupied with fussing over her unconsciousness and babbling on about nothing to notice.

There was no way he’d unplugged anything, on accident or even on purpose. In fact, the last time he’d recalled the bright numbers and words being lit on either of the machines was—

“I hate that beeping,” Alice had commented the day before she’d lost consciousness, “it’s so disturbing. Can’t we set it up to only alarm when things are working, instead of when they’re not?”

In an instant he’d rounded the bed and lifted the chords attached to the machines, finding them unplugged from the wall. In seconds they were plugged back in and Jasper was quickly examining Alice, ensuring that everything was hooked up properly.

At the sound of Rosalie still demanding things through the phone that he’d abandoned on the bed, Jasper reached out and pressed the speaker button. “She unplugged everything. I just—give me a minute.”

And the instant the machines began to register her vitals, the alarms began to blare. 

“Her blood pressure isn’t going to register normally, but you have to pay attention to her heart and respiratory rates. If she’s human now you can’t let either of them drop down below what they are now. Do you hear me Jasper? Jasper!”

“I hear you,” he spoke miserably as he watched Alice’s chest rise and fall. 

“The instant they begin to dip you say something. Now, whatever you do now you’re not going to get off this phone, you hear me?”

“Yeah,” he rasped, feeling the sting of tears begin to pull to the surface, “I won’t.”

Then, there was shuffling in the background and Carlisle was on the line. “I heard the news. Just stay on the line Jasper. Is your thirst manageable?”

“I’m not going to fucking hurt her,” he snapped, his nerves wound up so tightly that he couldn’t even hold the words back before they were being spat. “Forget me, Carlisle, how do I keep her alive?”

“Keep her heart beating, and if anything at all changes, you say something. Now, go over her vitals for me please.”

The next hour felt like the longest period of time Jasper could recall in his entire existence. He swore that the minutes ticked by like hours. He didn’t touch the phone once. It sat just where he left it on the edge of the bed, and sat at Alice’s side, listening and watching her with an unstoppable focus. Of course he registered the sound of his family talking, even if he wasn’t registering their words half of the time. Knowing that they were connected was enough to calm him to the point where he could apply his single-minded concentration fully to Alice.

He would do damn near everything he could to keep her alive, her visions be damned.

At some point he acknowledged that her IV bag had been empty for a few hours, which prompted a nearly-ten minute long argument in which Rosalie was demanding—and Carlisle was pleading—for him to leave Alice for a few seconds and go into the next room and retrieve a new one. Eventually he gave in, but only after Rosalie yelled, “Don’t be fucking stupid, get it so she doesn’t die and throw your tantrum later.”

(No matter how angry it made him, deep down he knew she was right.)

“Alice,” he whispered to her as he reached out and caressed her warm face, “how did this happen?” But the only signs of life from her were the slight rise-and-fall of her chest and the beeping of the electrocardiograph. And that was exactly what they were now: signs of life.

Jasper himself had been ignoring the uncomfortable feeling that was beginning to plague him whenever he went more than a few seconds without taking a breath. After his first symptoms had appeared he had started forcing himself to breathe normally, timing his breaths along with Alice’s without her noticing. Practicing for the day when his respiratory system would start acting like a human’s again.

He couldn’t even waste time thinking about what it meant to be human again. He couldn’t care about his warming body or the fact that he was weakening more and more every day. The only thing that mattered was that Alice made it out of this alive. Everything else was an afterthought. It was all for her.

Jasper didn’t realize his phone had died until Alice’s started ringing. He almost ignored it until he realized it was Carlisle’s number, and when he looked toward his own phone, and the blank, empty screen, he felt foolish as he reached forward and plucked Alice’s phone from her side.

He quickly muttered an apology and an explanation before placing the phone back down on the bed, speaker activated so he could go back to ignoring that device, too. A part of him knew that he should’ve grabbed one of the chargers that was just barely out of arm’s reach, but he didn’t dare move too far from Alice’s side.

He held her hand firmly in his, and waited.

“How is she?” Carlisle asked the question the second that the tempo of one of her monitors changed.

 “Twenty beats per minute. Her breathing is…”

 There was a beat of silence where Jasper stared from Alice’s prone body to the face of the screens on the machines hooked up to her. Something wasn’t right.

And then Alice’s respiratory rate took a nose-dive, alarms started blaring, and all hell broke loose.

There was a flurry of panic on the other side of the phone while Jasper stood fully, hovering helplessly over Alice’s body. This was it, he knew instantly even without ever seeing the vision himself. This was what Alice had foreseen. Her body, pink and fragile and human, slowly deteriorating in this very bed in this very room.

Alice had been wrong. She hadn’t cursed Jasper to his own fate by transferring whatever illness was de-petrifying their stone bodies. The curse itself lay in the fact that Jasper had been foreseen to watch the deterioration and death of the woman he loved more than anything else in the universe.

She had only ever apologized to him for getting him sick, as if that was something that was her fault. As if that were worse than this.

Rosalie’s voice broke through the yelling on the other side.

“Jasper! Listen to me! Keep her breathing.”

He’d watched and read every piece of instruction material Carlisle and Edward had sent his way, so he knew exactly what to do. But performing rescue breathing and watching it be done were two entirely different things. Having to force air into Alice’s lungs was the most agonizing thing he’d done in months.

Please don’t die, please don’t die, he thought the phrase over and over again as he focused on counting through each breath, being careful to only give her lungs the air they needed and not a bit more. It was after about a minute when he pulled back and actually looked at her, when he began to panic. The color that had been so steadily restored to her face was slowly fading away.

“She’s turning blue,” he shouted at the phone before gently tilting her head back again, plugging her nose, and giving a few more slow breaths, “Carlisle!”

There was chaos across the line and for a moment Jasper was afraid that the call had dropped as silence hung in the air. Then, what sounded like someone picking up a fallen phone. “We’re almost there, just hold on,” Esme’s voice spoke quickly. 

That’s when the noises behind her began to make sense. The low pur of a car’s engine, the tell-tale sound of a vehicle speeding down the road. Jasper didn’t know how he’d missed the signs.

“No,” he pleaded desperately when he realized what that meant. “You’ll die.”

“No we won’t, sweetheart.” The smile in her voice nearly brought tears to his eyes. “Focus on Alice. It’ll all be okay.”

But for several long agonizing minutes he forced air into Alice’s weak lungs, and the alarms still blared. And when her already-weak pulse began to drop, he was beginning to think he’d failed. That he wouldn’t be able to do it. That Alice would be dead and it was all because he couldn’t protect her and—

The noise of glass shattering registered with his senses just as he was mid-breath, his mouth placed around Alice’s as he futilely attempted to bring her back. Hands were on his shoulders and when he was pulled away firmly he could only look up and shudder with relief over the sight of Carlisle and Rosalie working over Alice’s tiny, fragile body.

“I’ve got you man,” it was Emmett, “it’s going to be okay now.”

Jasper shook his head as he stumbled. But Emmett’s arms wrapped were around him from behind and he was pulling the blond backward far enough to give Carlisle and Rosalie space.

“You can’t,” Jasper protested weakly, feeling the tears that he’d been keeping at bay finally begin to spill over, “Alice didn’t want you to come.”

Emmett gave him a good shake, still not releasing him. “Well, too damn bad. Come on.”

Jasper didn’t have the strength to fight him as he was dragged from the room. He was sure that if he did, he wouldn’t be able to. Each day he’d grown weaker and weaker as more and more symptoms presented themselves. But when Emmett tried to force him down the stairs Jasper dug his feet into the carpet as hard as he could. (The fact that it didn’t force the wood to buckle beneath his feet was enough evidence of his own illness.)

“I can’t be far, please, Em.”

The sound of tires screeching to a stop outside of the house bought both of their attention toward the foyer, and when Esme burst through the front door, flickering up the stairs before stopping in front of the men, Jasper felt his knees begin to shake.

They’d surely all die now, too. Carlisle and Rosalie, who were hard at work trying to hook Alice up to whatever new device they’d jumped out of the car to sprint to the house. And Emmett and Esme, who were looking at him as if he were the one made of glass, and the one that was seconds away from shattering.

He wasn’t the one who needed putting back together.

“You’ll die,” he spoke, his voice rough with emotion as Esme reached up and placed her hands on his face, her own expression absolutely broken at the sight of him. “You’re all going to get sick now, too.”

When Esme smiled up at him, he felt his knees buckle. Thankfully, Emmett’s arms still trapping him like a cage kept him standing. “Alice made her choice in trying to keep us safe. Now, we’re making our choice. We aren’t going to leave you two to suffer alone anymore.”

“Carlisle and Rose are going to do whatever they can, man.” Emmett tightened his grip, perhaps sensing that he was the only thing keeping Jasper from hitting the floor.

A loud noise caused their heads to turn back toward Alice’s room and suddenly, there was calm. The only noises now were from the machines that were beeping calmly. And just under all of it, they could all hear the noise of a heartbeat, steady and strong.

“It’s going to be okay,” Esme whispered again when Jasper’s tears started anew. Slowly, Emmett released his grip, lowering Jasper to the ground where Esme wrapped her arms around him. “She’ll be alright. We’ve got you now. It’s alright.”

And the sound of that steady heartbeat was all Jasper could focus on as he buried his face against Esme’s shoulder and cried.

It started with a vision. And now they were past it, and Alice was still alive. 

Eventually they helped him walk back into the bedroom, and when he climbed into bed beside Alice—his warm, pink, human wife—they simply let him.

He pressed a kiss to her forehead before grabbing her hand in his and closing his eyes. There would be time to discuss things with his family later, and to acknowledge the weight of what had happened tonight and what had been done. But for now, he laid beside Alice, and Jasper slept.

[thesunnyshow]

Name: reya

Writing Blog URL(s): @chu-ni

Age: 19

Nationality: african-british

Languages: english, swahili, korean

Star Sign: libra

MBTI: enfp/entp (it always changes lol)

Favorite color: purple!

Favorite food: i really love chicken burgers

Favorite movie: princess and the frog

Favorite ice cream flavor: vanilla!!

Favorite animal: elephants

Go-to karaoke song: fancy - twice

Coffee or tea? What are you ordering? caramel frappe with whipped cream, in general i prefer tea though

Dream job (whether you have a job or not)? secretary general at the UN….or an author

If you could have one superpower, what would you choose? making anyone agree with me and do what i want them to do

If you could visit a historical era, which would you choose? ancient egypt!!

If you could restart your life, knowing what you do now, would you?.....no.

Would you rather fight 100 chicken-sized horses or one horse-sized chicken? neither if i could lmfao but i’d go for 100 chicken sized horses

If you were a trope in a teen high school movie, what would you have been? the nerd who’s actually really pretty after she gets a cool makeover 

Do you believe in aliens/supernatural creatures? im not sure about aliens, but i definitely believe in ghosts and spirits.

What are some small things that make your day better? when i can have moments to myself to enjoy my own company. or when someone asks me what i want to eat and they bring it for me 🥺

Fun fact about yourself that not everyone would know? uhm…...probably the fact that i write fanfiction lol..but outside of that! i sing in the shower. and i talk to myself a lot.

What fandom(s) do you write for? nct dream currently, but in the future i want to expand to other groups!

When did you post your first piece? 17th of June 2018.

Do you write fluff/angst/crack/general/smut, combo, etc? Why? i can never write just one genre. predominantly i write fluff with a dash of angst for spice simply because i love a story that has an issue and then having that issue be resolved for a happy ending. when i started my blog i was 17, and so i said i wouldn't write smut. now that i'm older im feeling more and more comfortable writing suggestive content at the very LEAST.. so maybe in the future i might write smut, who knows? i like writing fluff because i like making people feel good, but i like adding angst to it because i feel like the contrast between the two is very *chefs kiss* to me.

Do you write OCs, X Readers, Ships...etc? i only write x readers!

Why did you decide to write for Tumblr? i first got tumblr when i was 13 years old and i was a fresh kpop fan lmfao. i wanted somewhere that shared my interests. of course i discovered x reader fics on here and i was in awe, i guess of how much power writers had in contributing to fandom content and keeping readers satiated. i’d always loved to write and so i’d always wanted to start my own writing blog, and for 2 years i did write for other blogs! it wasnt until 2018 that i finally took the leap and decided to start my own, because i wanted to impact people's emotions and take them on a journey through my writing.

What inspires you to write? what inspires me….teen movies, music!! music is a big one for me, and also the books that i read. i also grew up playing otome games so the plots and writing from those influence my writing a lot.

What genres/AUs do you enjoy writing the most? i really enjoy writing royalty!aus as well as exes!aus. i love to do them cause they require me to build a world and with royalty aus specifically i love weaving together bits of political intrigue, or arranged marriages, etc. its so much fun!!

What do you hope your readers take away from your work? that if this world is too rough or too much, you can always escape from it. it might not be physical, but immersing yourself in a universe that's entirely different for a little while can help soothe you.

What do you do when you hit a rough spot creatively? usually i try and take breaks. the problem with that is that my breaks can go on for longer than i’d like and im trying to fix that. so my other solution is to read read read!! read as much as i can, or go back to books that i loved. ask myself what i liked about the writing, what are some parts that i thought were amazing examples of good writing - i note them down then see if i can apply that to my own work. another thing i do is take a break from writing my longer, fleshed out works and write blurbs! blurbs are a great way for me to write but not feel like its tedious because i don't have to spend as much time on them and it gets me into the groove of writing without feeling stressed out.

What is your favorite work and why? Your most successful? my favourite piece of work is miscommunication. it took me months to write that, even after i lost all the work halfway through, and its the longest piece of work i have written so far, so its kinda like my baby. my most successful is candy jar. its also the work i owe my blog exposure to - it was the first piece i published, and it was also the first piece of writing i did in around 4 years.

Who is your favorite person to write about? i don't have much out for them, but i really enjoy exploring mark’s and jeno’s characters. they're people, but in my work i enjoy analysing them and judging how they’d act in different contexts.

Do you think there’s a difference between writing fanfiction vs. completely original prose? the only difference for me is that fanfiction (depending on the fandom) has some of the stuff fleshed out for you already, such as the world its in. if youre the type to write AUs then the only thing you already have is the characters - the planning, the writing, the drafting, and everything else is still the writer's responsibility. therefore there isn't much of a difference between the two for me.

What do you think makes a good story?  a good story, to me, is one that takes me on a journey. it could be any genre, but i like to feel immersed and connected to the characters and the world in it. also aside from the obvious, like good grammar, a good story feels natural to read. i don't feel like skim reading half of it.

What is your writing process like? my writing process consists of me getting inspiration - usually from a song, or a film or a book ive read or a game ive played - i note down my idea and who i want the story to be about, and then bullet point the whole story, with some snippets of particular dialogue i want the reader or the other person to say at certain scenes. i then open another document ( i have a writing app on my phone, called werdsmith, so i use that!) and set a word count goal i want to hit so i can track my progress and start writing the fic, with fleshed out language and exposition. when im done (usually after a couple weeks up to a few months, depends on the length of the plan) i read through it to fix any mistakes, then i transfer it to docs so i can read it again and italicise any areas i feel need it.

Would you ever repurpose a fic into a completely original story? i...don't think so. mainly because the original fiction i read and would like to write for myself is predominantly fantasy, whereas the fanfic i write on my blog is usually non-idol, normal fics. 

What tropes do you love, and what tropes can’t you stand? im a SUCKER for enemies to lovers, royalty ofc, “and they were roommates”, and i think superhero aus are really cool but there isnt enough of them :( idol/you as member aus....not feeling her… also abo/werewolf/vampire aus….not feelin em

How much would you say audience feedback/engagement means to you? a LOT. a HUGE amount!! i said before how i like giving my readers somewhere where they can immerse themselves as an escape, even for a short while. hearing about how my work affected them, made them feel, makes me feel less insecure about what im writing and thus more confident to publish it.

What has been one of the biggest factors of your success (of any size)? i’d say reblogs. and also putting out more content. when i first uploaded candy jar i went to my one of my favourite writers (jaeminlore) and asked her if she'd be okay with reading it and giving feedback. to my surprise she loved it and her reblogging it to all her followers is literally what gave me a bunch of followers all of a sudden who loved what i’d written. to keep that momentum i created more and more content, and while i haven't uploaded as often as i've wanted to or written as much as i’d wanted to, i can say i have a good amount of work on my masterlist for people who are looking for more to read.

Do you think fanfic writers get unfairly judged? 100%. fanfic has an unfair reputation for just having bad writing and cringey fics (and i feel like this is because of the way society views the demographics who predominantly consume and create it), when in reality i feel like those who write fanfiction are extremely talented and selfless people. they're on the internet creating content for free for people to enjoy and like any other work of art they're putting time and effort into it. i think it should be respected. any form of art is going to have its good and bad sides.

Do you think art can be a medium for change? hmmm….yes. i feel it can be a way to reflect the thoughts of people and also be a way to inspire people to do more.

Do you ever feel there are times when you’re writing for others, rather than yourself? sometimes. sometimes i feel like i'm forcing myself to write because i feel like if i don't then people will forget about me or they’ll forget about my blog. while what i choose to write about is for me, i feel like the speed of my writing and what im writing isn't to the quality i want it to be cause i feel like i gotta get it out for people to read.

Do you ever feel like people have misunderstood you or your writing at times? i've never felt that way!

Do your offline friends/loved ones know you write for Tumblr? only 2 of my friends know, and i only told them like. a week ago!

What is one thing you wish you could tell your followers? i wish you guys would message me more! i'm quite a sociable person, and i’d love to have regular anons who talk to me 👉🏽👈🏽

Do you have any advice for aspiring writers who might be too scared to put themselves out there? i think one common thing amongst all writers is that we write what we want to read. so don't feel like nobody's gonna read your work, cause somebody will. you gotta act like your work is top tier even if someone says it isn't - always write the best you can, and just do it! like don't even give yourself time to overthink it, write that fic, make it look pretty, upload it onto tumblr and do not be afraid to ask your favourite fic writers to read your work once its up!! i’d be happy to read and give feedback for any fic writers as well so don't feel afraid! 

Are there any times when you regret joining Tumblr? ive been on here for 7 years….i grew up on this site lmfao. but i don't think i regret joining tumblr once.

Do you have any mutuals who have been particularly formative/supportive in your Tumblr journey? shes not very active anymore and i miss her very much but user hyuck-s was so supportive and i love her!!

Pick a quote to end your interview with:

she believed she could, so she did.

BONUS ROUND: K-POP CONFIDENTIAL 

[gayregis]

Hi, just wanted to ask, how did you get into the witcher franchise (did you read the books before you played the games or vice versa?). Love your blog, byeeee :)

ty for the ask!! i hope you dont mind if i go too in-depth because i was legit thinking about this earlier today... 

tldr: i played tw3 and liked it, then read the books

i got into the witcher because one of my favorite gaming youtubers was doing a playthrough of tw3 on youtube in around i think september 2017. i liked this specific gaming youtuber for being shit at games and not caring about it... but tw3 was a different game. it felt like the decisions mattered, that there was an actual story here, that when this youtuber made shitty decisions and didn’t really care about the characters involved, i got frustrated because this game seemed really good... so i picked up the game myself and played it though, it was magnificent. not to r/witcher “the witcher 3 is literally the best game created in this history of ever” but it was sincerely good... not only does it have a great story, characters, and graphics, but it is genuinely comfortable to play as a game, even if you’re not great at games (i like playing video games but i’m not good at them when it comes to combat, i literally just would prefer to hack and slash through). so, i played through tw3 and the fact that it made me cry multiple times i found to be really interesting... but it was still just a game to me, it wasn’t something i thought about when i have time to daydream headcanons. i had read i think the witcher (short story) halfway through playing, just to get a feel of what tw3 came from, but from that, i realized the books and the games were incredibly different entitities, and i decided to not read the books until i had finished the game, or at least until i had more free time on my hands (mind i was in high school and was a senior, and during this time was when i was submitting college applications... exceptionally stressful, and the reading/writing part of my brain was absolutely fried from essay writing and reviewing). i was particularly struck by geralt and ciri’s relationship and the isle of mists quests fucked me up pretty bad. 

then around later 2017, i was really enjoying tw3, and had finished tw3′s base game and hearts of stone, and was now making my way into blood & wine. i was just playing it like normal, then came the part when geralt met regis. at first i wasn’t too interested (i mean, i was, but in the story of blood & wine, not in the books) until the little journal text pop-up appeared on my screen. you know, the one about quests you just received, or characters you just met. it was going through the motions of saying i finished this quest, picked up this new one, i was all like fine, fine, okay, alright, and then it just fucking puts regis’ long-ass name on the screen taking up a good amount of my FOV and i am immediately like, what? what the fuck? who the fuck? that’s the name? of the guy we just met? that guy??? he didn’t seem like someone with a name like that? who the fuck IS this guy.

so i head over to the wiki page for regis. i thumb through the basic information, i’m pretty interested, this quest stuff to find ciri sounds interesting. i decide to give the witcher books another try, because i have more free time now and am way more invested as everyone here as characters. also, i want to find out more about yennefer, because she was being badmouthed by everyone i saw online, and i wanted to read more about her and see if she was really so bad (spoilers: she’s not at all, the internet is just misogynistic).

i don’t think that i’m going to actually really care about these books, i just want more flavor and explanation about how in hell a witcher met a vampire and these two somehow became friends. so, i don’t care about reading them in order. i go online and find fan translations of every book, i open baptism of fire and i just start reading the bit about the fish soup. i’m suddenly just laughing my ass off, really interested in who these other characters are, milva and cahir, and how dandelion seems to actually be the best friend to geralt that he was said to be in tw3. i also notice immediately that geralt... oh my god, geralt’s such a cranky bitch. i’m SHOCKED at how annoying geralt is. i realize that this is probably what geralt’s been like, this whole time, and tw3 just gave me a sterilized version of him. i’m trying to decide if i like this change or not, at first i HATED it... but then realized it actually gave him a character, where in tw3 he feels a little more... empty, waiting for the player to project a personality onto him.

so, i just read all of the hansa bits of baptism of fire, skipping over anything i don’t understand. i am saddened when i can’t find any more, so i move onto tower of the swallow. and then lady of the lake. “oh, so that’s why geralt was surprised to see regis in blood & wine...” feeling at a loss after reading stygga, i start at the beginning and make my way through the books chronologically, like they should be read. i soon realize that this series really isn’t about killing monsters at all, and i’m thrilled. i thought the series was just going to be about geralt killing things in a swamp and reporting back to whoever hired him, like in tw3... and i was wrong. this series is about personal connections! relationships! ... and fatherhood. [see read more for personal junk]

i can’t remember when i started disliking tw3. it must have been around the time that i finished the books (im using the word finished loosely... i still havent finished some scenes because theyre too violent to read and continue with my day in peace, and i also read tos/lotl by skipping around, so i never got the full experience of reading them as full novels).

i just distinctly remember returning to my tw3 new game+ save after rereading the fish soup scene, and thinking about how lonely the game felt... i just felt so dispairingly alone, this loneliness that i hadn’t felt while playing before, that i had to put the game down. i returned to the game again, but i had just reread edge of the world... and i felt so alone again. 

so reading the books ruined tw3 for me, not out of malicious intent, but just because i think i realized geralt isn’t meant to be the lone wolf. the novels center around him and his family and friends, and i just genuinely missed that when replaying tw3. plus, i began to realize a bunch of things, like ciri’s scar is supposed to be bigger, geralt’s supposed to wear his hair in a headband, yennefer’s hair is actually curly, dandelion’s supposed to actually be in the game. there were so many inconsistencies with the characters i had imagined while reading the books that eventually i just stopped playing tw3 (i already played it once, so nbd) and got really into the books. 

sometime later i saved up like $80 to buy the paperback versions of the books (UK versions including season of storms) because i knew i was in really deep lol and i wanted the official translations super badly, also we were doing an assignment in class that allowed us to do something with our favorite book, but we needed to have it in-person and not as an e-book, so it was the perfect excuse. much time spent on hansa headcanons later and... here we are today.

a read-more, because this is more personal. 

the witcher series picked me up at an eerily appropriate time. two things in it stood out to me: 1) geralt’s relationship with ciri 2) regis’s alcoholism. 

i distinctly remember an event where i started crying in front of my parents because my dad was being so absent in my life or maybe it was because they were arguing, something like this... and i remember referencing tw3 isle of mists quest actually by saying “i shouldn’t have to learn it (good parenting) from a video game” ... lol. it wasn’t an epic burn from a 17 yo, but it was just a painful remark made in anger. i still think back to it because of how first watching geralt hug ciri made me feel and how i was actually really bitter because i was jealous of ciri for about a week after completing the quest. then i kind of pushed it out of my mind and didn’t think so much about it, until the night i mentioned it.

in late march of 2018, something very bad happened in my family. that’s probably the best way to describe it. the situation ended in my parents finally separating. my mom and i were pretty afraid and lost after that. after i had collected my thoughts and everything and went back to as “normal” as i could, about a month later, when the creative part of my brain finally began to function again and wasn’t inhibited due to fear, i clung to the witcher more than i did before... and this time, actually particularly to regis, because guess who has a whole redemption arc relating to not being alcoholic and being a genuinely good person who speaks gently and heals the vulnerable?

[noona-clock]

Better?

School is stressing me out and only reading fanfiction and books keep me alive xD So I would like to request a Jackson or Jaebum scenario..a cute coffeeshop AU or Vampire AU..or whatever you want x3  Thank you sooo much

I liked your ideas so much, I decided to do both of them! Here is the first combination! Let me know what you think, @takura-rin!

Genre: Vampire!AU

Pairing: Jaebum x You

By Admin B

Part 1, 2, 3, 4

You woke up hungrier than usual. 

It was always a pain to wake up hungry, but for some reason, your craving was off the chart tonight. You groaned in frustration, knowing you had no choice but to contact him. If you waited any longer to feed, things would get scary.

You quickly got dressed and grabbed a raw chicken drumstick from your freezer to tide you over for the time being. While you were gnawing, you got out your phone and sent him a message.

You almost let out a sigh of relief when you read his reply. If he hadn’t been working tonight, you don’t know what you would’ve done. So you grabbed your keys and headed out the door.

The drive to the hospital was rough; you were getting jittery, and you could feel yourself getting irritable. You knew your fangs were already out, so you were extra careful not to open your mouth or speak to anyone once you got there.

You silently made your way into the hospital, nodding at the receptionist. You usually smiled at her, but...You were pretty sure she just thought the doctor you were visiting was your boyfriend. Not your blood supplier.

Your heart thumped in your chest as you approached his office, and you prayed he would be in there rather than out helping a patient. You didn’t have the time or patience to go looking for him elsewhere.

When you opened his door, you murmured a ‘Thank god’ when you saw him sitting there.

Jaebum (well, Dr. Im, technically) was someone you knew from high school, and right now, he was the only one who knew about your condition. He had been with you the night it had happened, though only by sheer coincidence. You two hadn’t actually been friends in school, and you honestly had barely even talked to each other. You had just happened to be at the same movie showing that night, and Jaebum had parked next to you in the parking lot. He’d run to help you when he saw the stranger attack you, but he hadn’t been fast enough.

You’d been a vampire ever since.

Jaebum, obviously, felt guilty for not being able to save you, so he had volunteered to become your blood supplier. He worked at the hospital in the emergency room, mostly night shifts, so it worked out perfectly. He set aside two bags for you every week, and you... Well, the only thing he asked for in return was that you didn’t kill anyone. Especially him.

You had wanted to assure him you would be just as horrified if you did have the urge to bite his neck and feed from him, but you were dead. Not heartless.

Jaebum was and had always been a nerd. Nerds weren’t your thing. But now you were a vampire, you tried to let all of humanity not be your thing.

You saw him open a drawer in his desk and reach in, taking out two bags of blood and handing them to you.

“Thank you,” you breathed, grabbing them from him and opening one as quickly as possible. You put your lips to the opening, drinking desperately and feeling the sweet relief as soon as the warm liquid hit your tongue.

You drained that bag in less than a minute, gasping with satisfaction and letting yourself catch your breath before you started on the other one.

“Why are you so hungry tonight?” Jaebum asked curiously. He was a doctor, so he was always wanting to examine you to try and learn more about the vampire body. It was creepy.

“I don’t know,” you admitted, still a bit breathless. “I mean... I usually got my time of the month around... well, this time of the month. And I always ate more the week before. Maybe my body still operates kind of how it used to.”

“Hmm... interesting. Do you experience any other symptoms you used to before you got your period?”

“Jaebum, please,” you whined, your brow furrowed in disgust. He just said ‘period.’ And he meant your period. “I’m not your patient.”

“Well, you could be one day!”

Instead of answering, you opened the other bag and began drinking. About halfway through, you felt your fangs retract. You felt your anxiety alleviate and your urge to bite into someone’s flesh die down. As much as Jaebum annoyed you, you knew you would be much worse off without him.

“Better?” he asked once you’d squeezed every last drop out of the second bag.

“Much,” you sighed. “Thank you.”

“Now... do you mind if I run some tests?” he asked hopefully.

Every so often, Jaebum would ask to run some tests on you. For what reason, you had no idea, so you usually refused. But tonight, despite the awkward moment regarding Aunt Flo, you were feeling generous.

“Sure, let’s do it.”

Jaebum actually clapped with glee, causing you to roll your eyes as you followed him out of his office and toward the elevator. The lab was on another floor, apparently, so you stepped inside with him once the door opened. He pushed the button for the fifth floor, whistling as the doors closed and you began your journey upward.

Somewhere between the 3rd and 4th floors, however, the elevator just... stopped.

You let out a noise of confusion as you looked around. “Why... why did we stop?”

“Hmm. I don’t know.” Jaebum pressed the button for the fifth floor again, but nothing happened. Well, except the lights flickered, and the power went out. So that happened.

“What -- what’s going on?” you asked, pressing your back flat against the wall and trying not to panic.

“Looks like a power outage or something,” Jaebum replied calmly.

“We’re... I mean, we’re not stuck, right?”

“Well... it depends.”

“Depends on what?!”

“Depends on if we start moving again soon or not.”

“Oh, god.” You weren’t usually terrified of elevators, but you were terrified of enclosed, dark spaces. Which is why your heart was currently racing and your palms currently sweating.

“Are you all right?” Jaebum asked, taking a step toward you. You could see the outline of his figure, but you couldn’t quite make out his face yet.

“No, I’m not all right!” you spat. “I’m stuck in an elevator! We’re probably going to die in here!”

“Well, technically, you can’t die.”

“You know what I mean!”

Jaebum slipped his phone out of his pocket, turning on the flashlight and shining it momentarily in your eyes. “Oh, sorry,” he murmured, quickly moving it away. “There. Now we have some light.”

You slid down the wall, sitting on the ground and bending your knees so you could hug them. This was not good. Not good at all.

“Hey, it’ll be fine,” Jaebum assured you as he crouched down next to you. “We won’t be stuck in here forever.”

“But what if we are stuck in here for hours?!”

“We’ll still be fine.”

“But what if I get hungry?”

“You just ate.”

“But what if I get hungry?!” you cried, your eyes wide and pleading as you looked into his. “What if I get so hungry, and I can’t stop myself from --”

Jaebum reached out his free hand and placed it on the side of your head, smoothing your hair down. “You won’t.”

“But I might,” you replied, feeling your eyes fill with tears. “I don’t want -- I don’t want to hurt you.” Oh, wait, rewind! You had meant to say you didn’t want to hurt anyone!

“Hey, calm down,” Jaebum said softly. “Why are you so afraid you’ll hurt me? You haven’t before.”

“I -- I meant, I don’t want to hurt anyone.”

“It won’t come to this, but if you get hungry... I’ll let you --”

“No.”

“I trust you!”

“Why?!”

“Why what?”

“Why everything?! Why do you trust me, why are you helping me?!” Tears were streaming down your face now.

“Because I could’ve saved you, you know that.”

“That’s bullshit, we both know you couldn’t have saved me. Even if you had gotten there in time, he would’ve just turned you, too. So why?”

“Because I love you, okay?!”

...Oh.

You stared at him for a few seconds before you found your voice again. “What?”

“Because I love you. I always have, even in high school. You were the most beautiful girl in school. You’re still the most beautiful.”

“But... I’m not a girl anymore. I’m not even human.”

“That doesn’t matter to me. You’re still the same intelligent, sassy, kind-hearted being, no matter if your heart’s beating or not.”

You stared at him again, your own breathing the only noise breaking the silence.

And then you kissed him.

Wait, what?!

Master list // RULES // Submit a Request! // Read About the Admins

[badwolf-winchester]

The Winchester’s Legacy

i know i have posted this before but i decided to do it again because im re doing some things as well. i have posted this on my devianart as well so if you see it there its mine. i started writting this back in 2014 but have yet to expand on it. any and all feed back is welcomed.

Chapter 1

Memories and A Hell hounds revenge

<Coda’s POV>

"I’m going to kill Gabriel, I mean he didn’t even pay attention to the plan, that window must have been very interesting for him not to object to me being bait." I said as my cousin Isabel and I walked up the mansion’s gravel path.

She hates being called by her full name so I call her Isa. Mainly she hates her name because it belonged to her real mom who died a little while after she was born so my Uncle Sam thought it would be nice for her to have the name. My uncle basically raised her on his own after that; sure he would visit me and my dad but he soon became lonely and started to date one of the hunters he met while on a mission in Oklahoma, then after a couple of years Sam married Jamey Foster and became Isa’s step mom. Isa likes her but she doesn’t really interact with her, she said it’s because she never really knew her real mom and her dad doesn’t really pay attention to what she does so she feels abandoned in a way I think that’s why she envy’s me so much, because I still have my parents and they constantly nag me on everything I do.

My dad is Dean Winchester and my mom is Lisa Braeden I used to have an older half-brother named Ben but he died of cancer about two years ago he was an awesome older brother and I miss him like crazy so I go and visit his grave once in a while. Now I’m the only child, I think that’s why my mom is so protective of me; my phone has been going off for a while now and the ignore button was my salvation to not hear my mother's nagging voice.

"Will you shut that phone up? Turn it off before it wakes the dead, and I have no idea but Balthazar didn’t exactly say no either so you’re not the only one mad."

Isa sounded more irritated than I did witch isn’t good because if I know one thing about my cousin it’s that she might sound all nice but once you piss her off she goes bat shit crazy.

Isa and I have some similarities we both have the temper thing which comes in handy at times, we have the same body shape, not skinny like most of the other hunters but lean and our height is the same too five foot eight and our skin is the same color cream tan. But that’s where our similarity ends while I have dark brown hair and she has Jet raven black hair, my eyes are an emerald green and hers are deep electric blue. Even our taste in clothing is different I like skinny jeans, AirWalk shoes, and regular T-shirts, Isa likes shorts no matter what kind of weather it is, she never gets cold! Sometimes I like to call her a space heater because of it. And hoodies oh my god you never catch her without a freaking hoodie on I mean come on I wear sweat shirts sometimes but not all the time like her, you know sometimes I just want to raid her closet and burn all her hoodies but knowing her she would kill me if I did that so I will just let it be. Her favorite shoes to wear are just regular kick around tennis shoes mainly Nike though.

We kept walking up the long ass gravel path, Mind still on Gabriel I began to try and figure out what was so distracting that he couldn’t even pay attention, he has always found ways to irritate me but this wasn’t like him.

I thought back to when I first met him, at the time my dad and I were hunting vampires and no they don’t sparkle we live in the real world where vampires burn in the sun and the whole two fangs thing is bullshit, also sadly to all you poor hopeless fan girls most of them look hideous.

(Flash Back)

Gabriel was different back then he was more all business and attitude until I saved him, well we kind of saved each other; my dad and I were headed north for a case it was supposed to be a simple clean out about ten vamps or so we thought. They were spread out through the small abandoned town of Beldame five hours away from home (this was before my mom became over protective.)

We got our gear from the trunk of my dad’s impala, he had all sorts of stuff in there; you know the usual stuff holy oil, lighters, different types of shot guns and knives all different sizes but I didn’t need that stuff I had my own personal switchblade, 45 caliber, and lock pick. I took a look around it was your usual town with bakeries, toy shops, hotels, gravel everywhere and trees lots and lots of trees but only everything was beat to hell. Holes where in most of the buildings and stores the signs that used to hang were either on the ground or chard basically it looked like a bomb when off in the middle of the town.

After we loaded up all the other stuff we didn’t need my dad turned to me throwing the duffle bag over his shoulder and spoke in his oh so threatening parent voice.

“Do not wonder off and don’t get caught, this isn’t like the other times we hunted if you hesitate if you give them the chance they will kill you.” Even though I knew what I was getting into his warning sent a chill down my spine.

“Ok dad I get it no wondering off and keep an eye out for the blood sucking monsters got it” I said with a head nod he must have saw it for he rolled his eyes at me and mumbled under his breath, something on the line of “what am I going to do with you”.

We started moving from one building to the next going into them without any luck of finding one vamp, we were on our tenth building halfway into the town until we finally spotted several vamps going into a basement of an old tattered house, My dad and I were in between the vamps hide out and a half blown up shed when he put his arm out in front of me causing me to stop.

“Coda stay here I’m going in if I don’t come out in five minutes I want you to call Sam and give him your location.” This irritated me till no end, no way was I going to sit here and be excluded from the fight.

“Dad it would be easier to kill them if I went with you I mean we just saw more than five vamps walk in there I’m not going to stay here and have you get yourself killed just because you think I’m still a kid! well news flash dad I’m seventeen get over it and start treating me like a freaking adult.” He looked at me for several seconds then sighed.

“Your mother is going to kill me.” He said more to himself than to me then continued. “Right let’s go.”

We snuck our way up to the basement door, I surveyed the area just to make sure no vamp would get the jump on us but all I could see were trees around us. When my dad opened the door we were met with a flock of vamps staring back at us as if they knew we were coming. Dad slammed the door and we took off running for our lives.

“I thought you said there were only going to be 10!” I shouted as we booked it across town to the car.

“If I knew there would be more than 10 then we would have had Sam as back up!” He retorted.

We were halfway to the car when the vamps suddenly burst through every store door; even the ones we checked, and started to gain on us, by the pace we were going it wouldn’t be too long till we got caught.

That’s when I saw an opening close to the town boarder that lead into the woods, if I could pick the vamps off one by one then I should be fine I’m good at one on one combat.

Dad and I took refuge in the toy store luckily this one didn’t have any holes in the structure so we were good for a while, as we tried to catch our breath I told him my plan.

“What? No! Absolutely not, no way!” I knew he would fight me on this but we didn’t have time.

“Dad we need to split up divide the group so we have a better chance at surviving, unless you have another plan mines all we got.” After a minute he ran his hand down his face then looked at me and cursed.

“Damn it! Fine we’ll do it your way but take the machete.” He said as he dropped his duffle bag and took out the big hacker and handing it to me, I studied the long and wide blade tilting it back and forth to find the balance in it.

After sheathing it I wrapped the holster around my waist, before I went through the back door I gave my dad a hug.

“Be careful ok Coda your mother would kill me if anything where to happen to you.” He said into my hair, I let go of him and gave him my version of a reassuring smile which is a cross between a grimace and a half smile.

“I will.” Then I took off toward the opening I saw earlier, the vamps that where by the back door sprinted after me in a heartbeat. I could hear my dad yelling something close to “come and get me fuglies.”

         Some of the foot steps behind me took the bait and disappeared probably going after my dad but I didn’t check I was too busy pushing through bushes and branches while trying not to trip and fall. The footsteps that where behind me where gone now so I took refuge behind a big ass tree, while I hid behind the mother of all trees, I unsheathed big bertha and tried to slow down my breathing and heart rate.

When I got control and was able to breathe normal I noticed that there wasn’t any birds around because it was just silent and that usually meant a predator was lurking close by, a twig broke about a couple feet away from my hiding place proving me right. I took a deep breath and stepped out from my hiding place to take a look, sure enough a vamp was sniffing the air like a freaking dog.

I was about to try and figure out how to take him out when just then eight more jumped out of nowhere surrounding me. I was not good at multi fighting especially with vampires, one of the dicks saw my hesitation and shoved me to the ground, and my blade went flying. The one that shoved me was now on top of me no doubt about to bite me when a bright light flashed radiating heat like the sun, the vamp on top of me disintegrated.

My hands flung up instantly to cover my eyes but just as sudden the light disappeared, I laid their on the ground for a couple of seconds stunned until an unfamiliar voice spoke to me. “Its ok I’m not going to hurt you Decoda.” I got up with a quickness and looked at the guy standing a couple of feet away from me, He was about five foot ten maybe a little taller with broad shoulders; basically your normal football jock type body, his hair is bronze brown and his eyes where the most shocking green I have ever seen. His clothes consisted of a brown jacket with a sort of light blue T-shirt, Blue boot cut jeans, and brown leather shoes.

I dusted off my hands and clothes looking anywhere but at him then crossed my arms over my chest and eyed him suspiciously. “Thanks for the save. Now how the hell do you know my name?”

With a hint of wonder in his voice he replied. “Wow nothing gets past you, and from the looks of it you don’t seem afraid of me, which is different, people would freak if they just magically saw a light and then a guy standing in the middle of a forest.”

I shrugged and said. “I’m a hunter weird is basically the norm for me and you also saved my life so I owe you one, anyway you got a name vamp buster?”

He chuckled at me and shook his head. “Your funny you know that? But sorry sweetie you don’t have the authority to know my name at the moment and don’t worry about the IOU thing protecting you just became my job.”

I blinked at him, anger flaring up in me with a quickness. “I’m sorry I don’t think I heard you right could you say that again?” amusement flashed in his eyes. “Protecting you just became my job.”

Anger bubbled in me at his reply. “No the first part you dick.”

He stepped closer so that he was about arm’s length away and smirked at me. “You don’t have the authority to know my name.”

I was about to tell him where he could shove his authority when a movement caught my eye, sure enough in the distance a vamp stepped out from behind a tree. I pulled out my caliber and pointed it at my potential savior, he didn’t even flinch. “There is no need for the gun Decoda, could you put that thing away.”

I would be lying if I said I wasn’t tempted to shoot him too but he still had to answer a few questions first, giving him a blank face I said. “Duck.” Just then the vamp sprang at him, he was wise enough to do as I said and ducked, once he was out of the line of fire I pulled the trigger. The vamp jerked backwards as if he just hit an invisible wall, with a thud he fell to the forest floor.

I looked down at the mystery guy and pointed the gun at his head with a smirk and said. “Now how about that name.”

He looked at me kind of shocked then he shook his head and got up from his ducked position. “Well seeing as you have the upper hand why not, the names Gabriel.”

Putting my gun away I thought about it for a second I’ve heard the name before many kids have that name but how he said it seemed to hold some kind of power behind it, that’s when it hit me. “Gabriel as in the Arch Angel Gabriel?”

He smiled and opened his arms as if to say here I am. “The one and only.” I laughed and he gave me a confused look. “Why are you laughing?” shaking my head I continued to laugh. “You’re not surprised that I’m an angel?”

I shook my head again finally able to get ahold on my laughter I replied. “Nope not at all, I practically grew up with an angel as my uncle so I’m not surprised at all.”

He cocked his head to the right and looked at me. “What angel did you grow up with?” I smiled and replied. “Castiel.” Recollection crossed his face. “Ah I see so Dean did keep his boyfriend after all.” I shrugged not really caring but snorted at his title for Cas, I didn’t see Cass as an angel I saw him as my uncle that’s all I really cared about.

Then another thought accrued to me and made me smile even more, I have always wanted my own angel like my dad had, but I grew up with one thought and one thought only. If I were to have an Angel by my side it would always be Gabriel, you see ever since I was a kid that particular angel had always had a pull on me whenever my pastor would speak of him like as if I knew in my soul that we would meet someday, to have an arch angle as your protector was like having the answers to a final exam.

“Well isn’t this ironic.” I said more to myself than to him, He crossed his arms and gave me an impatient look apparently he didn’t like these guessing games.

“What’s ironic?” he said annoyance filling his voice, I debated whether or not to tell him then I looked him straight in the eye. “Gabriel is my favorite arch angel, has been since as long as I can remember.” I could see he was a little taken back by this because he dropped his hands and put them in his pockets while not looking at me and muttered “Oh… well… uh… Thanks?”

He quickly snapped his head back in my direction when I added “But I believe it started with a dream you were taller in it though.” I could see a vein popping out from his head as he yelled “What is that supposed to mean! I’m not short!”  

A gun shot broke our small talk and I remembered where I was and the situation that was accruing. “Crap my dad!” I was about to run toward the gun shot but Gabriel grabbed my hand and twirled me around to face him, we were a little too close to one another that my breath caught for a second, the smell of cinnamon sticks and vanilla filled my nose.

His deep green eyes bore into mine. “I can’t go with you.” He said in a serious voice, more gun shots rang through the sky like thunder.

I cleared my throat and recollected myself before I spoke. “Ok, But I wasn’t going to ask you to come.” He let go of my hand that I was now aware he was holding the whole time and racked it through his hair. “You don’t understand, I will be with you but you won’t see me.”

I gave him a confused look. “Wait, your confusing me so you are coming with me or not?” he smiled and said “yes and no.”

This little cat and mouse game was really ticking me off, why couldn’t he just give me a straight answer? He just shook his head. “I can’t be there unless you want me there its part of the rules I was given, if you need me call out to me.”

He was confusing me till no end, rules what rules? And who ordered him to protect me? Right now my dad’s safety was more important than my unanswered questions.

“How do I call you like just pray?”  He winked at me and then said “oh trust me you’ll now.” then he placed two fingers on the center of my forehead, Everything went white then color exploded around me, someone ran right into me knocking me down I looked over and saw my dad his shocked face mimicking my own. “Coda how the hell?”

Just then a vamp roared and jumped on him trying to get at his neck, I pulled out my gun and shot the blood sucker right in the head, my dad pushed it off and got up. “Thanks.” He said then helped me up, I looked around sure enough Gabriel stuck to his word and wasn’t anywhere in sight.

“You want to tell me how you just suddenly appeared in front of me?” But before I could say anything we were surrounded by thirty vamps all barring their pointy teeth at us, too many for my dad and I to handle. My dad put a protective hand in front of me but we both knew how this would end, then Gabriel’s voice rang through my mind scaring the hell out of me. “I can’t be there unless you want me there.” Ok a little weird having his voice in my head, but I definitely wanted him here I didn’t feel like dying today.

Again his voice invaded my mind. “If you need me call out to me I won’t come unless you call.” Ok now he was just messing with me, how the hell am I supposed to know what to say I barely said anything to the guy I mean come on I called him vamp buster before he told me his name that was about it.

“Oh you’ll know.” His voice rang again; oh my god you have got to be kidding me. “Nope.” You are so pathetic and a child I said to him mentally. “That’s a little harsh, Come on you know you wanna say it.” He taunted; Fine! I shouted in my head giving in.

I stepped around my dad’s arm sucked in a deep breath and yelled. “Who you gonna call?!” just on cue that same bright light flashed and just like before it vanished just as it appeared, in the clearing just a little away from my dad and I stood none other than Gabriel, he looked at me and raised one fist in the air and said. “Vamp busters!” I laughed and walked over to him and gave him a hug; he deserved it for saving our asses,

He then twirled me around un-expectantly and then put me down and said. “See I told you, you could trust me.” My dad cleared his throat and we both turned to look at him, he had on his you better start explaining now or I’m going to start shooting look. At a wave of my hand I introduced them to each other “Dad this is Gabriel, Gabriel this is my Dad.”

My dad walked over and gave Gabriel a skeptical look. “How the hell are you still alive I thought Lucifer killed you?” this was news to me, Gabriel only shrugged and said. “Yea I did die but Dad brought me back, before he set me lose though he gave me an order and some ground rules.” Dad had a worried expression on his face when he said that. “What order did he give you?” Gabriel looked at me and then at him. “I am to protect and aid Decoda Winchester in any way she needs.” Then he added. “Basically I‘m the Cass to her Dean.” I chuckled at that, my dad gave me his shut up look and went back to Gabriel. “What does Chuck want with my daughter?” he demanded Gabe only shrugged. “Your guess is as good as mine Dean-o but I can’t go against daddy’s wishes so here I am.”

My dad ran a hand through his hair then asked. “One more thing what ground rules did Mr. Almighty give you?” Gabriel tilted his head obviously trying to think then he replied. “Rule one, protect her with my life. Two, when she calls me I have to come no matter what. Three… well I really say the rest till I’m given the ok so… Hey.” He said looking around. “Should I get you guys out of here cause this is so not my scene.”

After Gabriel got us to the Impala he yelled “shot gun!” and ran for the door, I swear he was acting like the biggest five year old I have ever met which was funny because earlier he acted like any other angel (A dick). I thought he would be just a bit more mature, I wonder what switched flipped in his brain but what can you do?

After the vamp hunt he just kept showing up in places we had hunts and he would pull the most childish stunts, soon we just started ignoring him but he would keep repeating that it was his job to protect me that I was special in some sort of way, I was annoyed having him around watching my every move but after a while the un thinkable happened he started to grow on me, I even pulled a few pranks on him myself.

The pranking would last for weeks but always come to a forced stop because my dad would go crazy and say “I have one kid not two! Gabriel get the hell out of here or act your age!" and Gabriel would say something childish like "But she stared it!" or “Common dean where’s your funny bone?" Or my favorite “look at me dean I am acting my age.” and then all hell would break loose and I ended up grounded for a week. Now it’s not so bad and we don’t prank as much anymore but when we do we don’t hold back.

(Present day)  

"Earth to Coda." Isa said snapping me back to reality. "Yea?" "Where here...” I looked up at the old rotting Victorian style mansion before me, the windows cracked and covered in dust, the paint peeling from the wooden frame.

When I stepped on the porch the wood creaked with old age, I looked over at Isa smiling "look Isa a haunted house isn’t that awesome?" she rolled her eyes and said " yea, yea whatever let’s just get this over with I have an exam in the morning and this is messing up my study time." I snorted.  “who cares about a stupid exam where hunting!" Isa smiled back repaying " you should we're in the same class moron. Plus if you fail, you can say bye bye to hunting." then she walked through the mansion door leaving me fuming.

I hate it when she gets the last word and when she is right... Oh well I’ll get her back later. “you gonna stand on the porch all night or are you gonna come in here and help me?" Isa shouted from what I think was the living room.

After getting inside I dropped my duffle bag on the floor by the front door and started fishing for the ghost detector with my flash light in my mouth, when I successfully found it I glanced at my black G-Shock watch it was about 10:30 pm that means Dad and Sam would be on the 3rd floor setting up the salt trap for Mr. Ghost boy.

I started scanning for any ghost activity in the hallway and ended up in the living room where Isa was doing the same thing, the living room was huge but barren except for an old broken coffee table and an ancient looking rocking chair in front of a brick fire place. “So who is this guy that we are hunting?” I said glancing at Isa who was still scanning the room.

“His name is Richard Bernard he was a rich guy who made his money by gambling.” She said not the least bit caring. I turned back to get a better look at the fire place and above it was an old picture frame of some old guy who I interpreted to be Richard. Glancing back at my ghost detector I asked “So how did he die, One too many slight of hands?”

Isa sighed and put the scanner in her coat pocket and turned toward me annoyance written all over her face. “You should have read the file your dad gave you, but if you must know someone offed him for cheating at poker. You might want to take a note on that coda.” I gave her my most playful shocked look “Ah, whatever do you mean my dear cousin? Me cheat at poker I would never!” I said in mock innocence, she just rolled her eyes. “Just get back to work.” As she walked away I stuck my tongue out at her.

“Get back to work.” I mumbled under my breath mocking her, Isa then turned and took the scanner out of her pocket to do another once over the living room. Eye of the tiger then filled the room with its sweet melody startling Isa and causing her to drop her scanner. “I thought I told you to turn that stupid phone off!” She shouted at me while bending down to pick it up. “Either answer it or I will break it.”

Raising an eyebrow I mumble “well then…” before taking my phone out of my back pocket; only one person would be calling me right now one very overprotective person, I flipped open the phone and said in my most casual voice “Heeyy mom what’s up how you doin?” I knew exactly what she was going to say and boy it wouldn’t be pretty.

“Don’t hey mom what’s up me young lady, you and your father both have been dodging my calls since you two bolted out the door at 8, it is now 10:45 and I’m now just hearing from you do you know how worried I am having you and your father hunting in the middle of the night doing god knows what putting yourselves in danger?” god you can practically see the smoking anger in her voice, I had to hold the phone at arm’s length just to keep my ears from bleeding, I can hear Isa laughing quietly in the back ground from my mom’s sudden outburst.

All I could do was roll my eyes she was always doing this overprotective parent thing and it was driving me nuts. “Mom calm down dad and I just got a last minute gig its fine and won’t take long trust me Gabriel knows where I am and if I get in trouble he will come ok?” maybe I shouldn’t have mentioned Gabriel… “Gabriel!? So he knows where you are but your own mother doesn’t!” yea shouldn’t have mentioned him. “You know very well what I think of that man child. He is immature, reckless, a nuisance, and most of all irresponsible!” my mom as you can tell doesn’t like Gabriel for some unknown reason… who am I kidding sometimes I don’t even like him.

“God mom don’t do this now please I’m working.” I pleaded but she continued. “And another thing young lady you have school tomorrow, and from what Isa has told me you also have an important exam tomorrow in 3rd period. How are you ever going to pass that test if you’re HALF ASLEEP?” I looked over at Isa who was just sitting there laughing at me, I gave her my your dead when I’m done with this look and replied to my mom.

“I’ll be fine mom it’s a simple hunt don’t stress.” Another taboo word stress… crap today is just not my day. “Don’t stress?! Don’t stress?! How can I not stress when my daughter could be killed!” this is so not going to end well and I knew it. “Mom I’m not a kid anymore I‘m 17 now. Stop treating me like a child! I can take care of myself I’m a hunter mom and nothing is going to change that it’s a part of me.” I hate fighting with her but sometimes it’s necessary and I was mad, Luckily Isa’s scanner went off so I couldn’t yell at her anymore.

“Mom I got to go Isa found something and I have a ghost to catch.” After I hung up I looked at Isa. “What did you find?” I said bitterly, she gave me half annoyed half pity look. “Well sorry to disappoint you but it was just a scan goof… do you wanna crash at my place tonight?” leave it to Isa to always have a way out for me that’s one of the reasons why I love my cousin. “It’s ok and yea that sounds awesome.”

I looked away from her and started fiddling with my ghost scanner. “You know Coda she will come around eventually, you know that right?” I looked at her for a minute unable to answer. “I don’t think she ever will…” I said honestly.

Then something big crashed through the living room window causing Isa and I both to jump into hunter mode. A deep and low growl echoed through the barren room that growl I was all too familiar the beast has been hunting Isa since birth, but every time My dad and Sam were here and fought it off but now we are unprotected and no way was I going to let that thing hurt Isa.

Instinct took over and the hell hound jumped at Isa at the same time I did only I was closer, I shoved Isa and she fell to the floor and I took her place, the hound’s claws ripped through the my right side of my stomach like a chain saw. Agonizing pain rushed through me as I crumbled to the floor clutching my wound crying and screaming at the same time, everything was becoming blurry and the only thing I could hear was the rapid drumming of my heart in my ears. The drumming became weaker as I felt myself become drowned in darkness, the last thing I heard was a muffled gun shot.

[arituzz]

nineteen firsts and one last

-SNOWBAZ-

Summary: It’s Simon’s nineteenth birthday. He’s not expecting anything unusual, just some messages from his tumblr friends. But Baz has different plans.

Word count: 3.7k

Rating: T

Tags: tumblr au, friends to lovers, distant relationship, first meeting

Ari: This is just an edit from last year’s fic, because I didn’t like the format. Happy 20th birthday, Simon ♡

SIMON

I wake up to the doorbell ringing. I look at the clock. 5:59 am. Fuck. Who could it be at this unholy hour? Probably my father, coming back home drunk after a night of partying. Damn, why didn’t he stay in the hotel, as usual?

The doorbell rings again. “I’m fucking coming, dad!” I yell.

I put on some clothes and go to the door. I open it, ready to scowl at my father but, instead, there’s a delivery girl looking at me through her pointy glasses.

“Good morning,” she says. “A packet for Simon Snow.”

“Uhm… that’s me,” I tell her, a little bewildered.

She gives me the packet and makes me sign a paper. I tell her thanks and make to go back inside. “Wait,” I shout before she leaves. “Next time, could you come, I don’t know, in the afternoon? When I’m not sleeping?”

“Sorry, the sender wrote specific instructions to deliver this on 21st June at precisely 5:59 am. He even paid an extra and called the company to make sure we followed the instructions. Sounded rather bitter. I wouldn’t risk my job,” she explains. Ha. Like dying her hair blue wouldn’t risk it. Though, I have to say it looks awesome on her dark skin.

“Oh, in that case… Thanks. Have a nice day,” I wish her.

“See you later!”

I close the door and go to the living room, to open the packet. It’s a basket full of fresh-baked cherry scones and some blocks of butter. There’s a card with a note. It reads:

Some like it hot (page 38)

5:59 am - First breakfast to your door

I’d bring it to your bed if I were there

Baz

(Gampire Chaz to my Craigon Rain)

Oh my God. Baz. Right, it’s my birthday. It’s nice of him that he remembered. Baz is my best friend on tumblr. Well, he is my best friend, period. Although I’ve never met him in person, I feel like we’ve known each other for years. And to think that we used to be at each other’s throats!

When I first read the book A Charmed Life, I became hugely obsessed with its characters—i.e. the protagonist, a half-dragon named Craigon Rain—so I created a tumblr blog to obsess about them. At that time, there were very few people in the fandom: gampire-chaz-loves-craigon-rain (Baz), rainchaz61 (Penny), tape-exists-and-im-glad-for-it (Agatha), trixiethelesbianpixie (Trixie), gampirhys (Rhys), so-noted-rainchaz (Niall), and craigonsnowrain (me). And we were like a little family.

But I hated Baz. And he hated me. We would make stupid competitions to see who had the most notes on their posts. I finally gave up because the fucker draws the most brilliant fanart. So I decided to befriend him and make some projects together.

A smile draws in my face as I eat the delicious over-buttered cherry scones. Just the way I like them.

I grab my cellphone to send a thank you message to Baz.

When I’m done with breakfast, I scroll down my dash on tumblr. No happy birthday message. Well, it’s still early. Not for Baz, though, he lives in England, so it must be the afternoon already.

I decide to watch TV for a while—I have nothing planned for today. The fact is that I don’t really have any friends in real life. I don’t know many people here in Nebraska, and the ones I know are complete idiots. So my plan is to stay in all day and read a freaking lot of Rainchaz fanfiction.

After a while, I turn off the TV and go to tumblr on my laptop. Oh, one notification: gampire-chaz-loves-craigon-rain mentioned you in a post.

I open the link and it’s a beautiful doodle of me and Baz, fighting a chimera—as in one of the book’s scenes. I’ve posted some pics of me before, so he has references. The post says:

“Do it. Fucking unleash. Now.” (page 5)

First doodle of you (and me)

Baz

I hit reblog and add:

“I can’t. It doesn’t work like that.”

BTW it’s fucking WONDERFUL!! tysm <3

I’m reading a smutty Rainchaz fic when the doorbell rings again. It’s not that I’m gay, I just love the characters so much. And the smut is great, I love it. The authors in this fandom are just brilliant.

I look at the clock. 7:59 am. It’s still too early for dad to come and I’m not expecting anyone. (Ever.)

I open the door and the same delivery girl brings another packet, this time smaller.

She smiles at me and says, “You know the procedure.” I sign the paper and she leaves with a “See you later!”

“Later,” I reply.

I go back into the apartment and open the packet. It’s a book. The book. A Charmed Life. I go to the first page and, holy shit, it’s signed by the author! It’s so difficult to get a signed copy, I’ve been trying for months, but the author is not very sociable. She wrote:

To Simon Snow,

May you fight your own battles and forge your own wings.

Cather Avery

Wow. It’s perfect.

There is also a card with a note that reads:

“It’s the good things that’ll drive you mad with missing them.” (page 11)

First signed copy of your favourite book.

(I miss you even though I’ve never met you)

Baz

Jesus Christ. This is the best birthday present of my life. I take a picture of it to post it on tumblr and add: @gampire-chaz-loves-craigon-rain I wish you were here so I could hug you into oblivion! Thank you, best b-day present ever <3

I grab my old copy of A Charmed Life—don’t want to ruin this one—and start running through its pages. With all these gifts I feel like re-reading it. Again. I’ve lost count of how many times I’ve read it.

It’s a Young Adult fantasy novel about a very special chosen one. A chosen who doesn’t want to be chosen. Craigon Rain is the last half-human, half-dragon alive. He’s never met his mother—that’s where he got the dragon part. His father wants him to take part in a battle that’s not his own. A battle against the vampires. At first Craigon—the half-dragon—obeys his father’s orders until he meets Gampire Chaz, a teenage vampire who finds himself in the same situation as Craigon, but on opposite ends. The two boys fall in love, defying everything that’s been established by their families and it’s precisely their love the thing that saves them all.

I identify myself quite a lot with Craigon Rain—my name is Simon Snow, see the irony. I never met my mother either and I also think my father is the responsible of everything bad that happens in my life.

Baz identifies himself with the antagonist, Gampire Chaz—only because he’s got brown skin like him, and their middle names rhyme. The moron.

My phones buzzes and I leave the book on the table. Another tumblr notification: gampire-chaz-loves-craigon-rain mentioned you in a post.

I open the link. It’s an aesthetic with six pictures of us—separately, duh—and three pictures with vampires and dragons. It’s beautiful. Under the post, Baz has written:

“Strong. Graceful. Fucking ruthless.” (Page 14)

(You are)

8:59 am - First aesthetic of us!

Baz

I hit reblog and add: This is too much Baz. I can’t even!! tysm <3

I can’t believe any of my tumblr friends—we call ourselves raindrops—has wished me a happy birthday yet. Except Baz, sort of. I mean, he hasn’t said it explicitly. Penny lives in India and Agatha in France, I think they should have posted something by now… Now that I think of it I have no clue where Rhys, Niall and Trixie live… Well, Niall is clearly asian but that doesn’t mean that he lives in Asia. I don’t know.

I’m hungry. Thinking too much makes me hungry. Thinking makes me hungry. I go the kitchen to see if there’s anything to eat.

Nothing. Fuck. I’m gonna have to go buy something.

I go to the closest supermarket and buy some popcorn and a peanut butter cup ice cream. Perfect combination for fanfiction reading.

As I climb the steps to my apartment, I bump into the delivery girl from before.

“Hey, watch out,” she scowls and extends me yet another package.

I sign the paper and tell her, “later?”

“Later,” she answers, with a smile.

Once I’m inside, I open the packet—the third one today, and it’s only 9:59 am.

There are some papers inside the packet, a photo of a star, I think?

I read the note that Baz has left:

“Twinkle, twinkle little star!” (page 260)

9:59 am - First star

(These are official documents that prove that this star is named after you and is now yours.)

(Sorry I couldn’t give you the Universe, but this is a star-t.)

(Yes, I knew you wouldn’t understand shit of what the papers say.)

Baz

I’m at a loss of words. What the fuck. It must have cost him a fortune. Well, it must have cost his father a fortune. I guess they can afford it.

I send him a message on tumblr: got the star. what the actual fuck? speechless.

And then I add: why arent u replying to any of my posts? u ok?

Right after reading the first fic, halfway through my ice-cream, the doorbell rings again. 10:59 am. I’m guessing it’s not dad, just yet.

I open the door, and a familiar blond haired girl with the most beautiful brown eyes I’ve ever seen is standing there, looking bored.

“Agatha!” I scream.

“Happy birthday, Simon,” she smiles at me and kisses my cheek. “I’ve come to bring you your next gift.” She shows me what seems like a tattooer box.

I know what Agatha looks like and that she’s a professional tattooer. She’s posted several pics on raindrops faces day. And the rest, too. All except Penny. (She says she can’t be bothered to take a selfie.)

“Agatha!” I shout again. I still can’t believe it. “Come in,” I add.

We sit on the sofa and she gives me the next note. It reads:

“Flames and Blazes—The Art of Burning.” (page 203)

10:59 am - First tattoo

(This is a combined gift from Wellbelove and me)

(I made the design and she’s going to tattoo you)

(You actually asked for it, so it’s no surprise)

Agatha shows me the design. It’s a constellation. And there’s fire surrounding it.

“Simon,” she says. “This is going to hurt.”

“It’s wonderful, Agatha,” I say when it’s finished, looking at my back through the mirror. “You could’ve been gentler, though.”

“I was gentle, Simon, believe me,” she replies.

The doorbell rings again. I think that it has rung more in one day than in nineteen years.

“Lunch,” Agatha says, and goes for the door. She opens it. “Hi, Penny,” she says to the delivery girl.

What?

“Penny?” I ask, stupidly.

“Sorry, Simon, it was too fun seeing you all clueless,” she apologizes.

“I am still clueless,” I retort.

She takes me into her arms and gives me a tight hug. “Happy birthday Simon! Let’s have lunch. Where’s the dining room?”

“Uhm, here, in the living room. I eat in the living room.”

“Oh, your note,” Penelope says as she gives me the card.

“Because roast beef and Yorkshire pudding are fucking real as Rain.” (page 84)

11:59 - First roast beef and Yorkshire pudding from Watford

(Because you haven’t eaten real roast beef if it’s not from England)

(And Watford Restaurant serves the best one)

(Enjoy your meal)

Baz

We sit on the sofa and start eating our lunch. I’m so happy. It’s like we do this everyday. But I miss Baz. I miss him so much. Where the fuck is he?

We finish eating and Penny looks at her watch. “It’s 12:59,” she says. “Dessert is here,” she smiles wickedly.

“Open the door, Simon,” Agatha says.

I go for the door and open it.

Baz.

Baz is here. With a cake in his hands.

Baz is here. And I can’t hug him.

“Baz!” I say, grinning widely.

“Hey, Snow, happy birthday,” he says, and hands the cake to me. There’s a card on it, too.

“But he just stood there for as long as he could stand it. I don’t know how he resisted the pull; I felt like my intestines were going to burst out and wrap around him.” (page 167)

12:59 - First meeting

(I’m here.)

Baz

Baz looks like he’s trying to hide the huge smile that’s drawing in his face. But I can see it.

“Fuck, Snow,” he says, finally giving into the smile. “I wanted this to happen at 1:59 pm, but here you go.”

“What?” I ask

He takes out another card from the back pocket of his jeans and reads it.

“Trying not to crack a smile. Page 517.”

Then, he looks at his watch and adds, “ 1:01 pm, first smile. First real life smile from me to you.”

“The presents are getting better,” I say, trying not to smile from ear to ear.

We eat the cake on the sofa. Baz tried to oppose to it, but I don’t really have a table with nice chairs to sit down and chat while drinking tea. I’ve never had anyone come over.

We talk about our lives. Well, they talk about their lives and I listen. And look at Baz. His eyes are prettier than I had imagined. And oh my God, his skin. It reminds me of toffee. It has such an appetizing color it makes me want to taste it.

After a while, Baz leads us downstairs and into a cab that’s parked in front of my building.

The taxi drives for around twenty minutes before it comes to a stop. “We’ve arrived,” the driver anounces.

Baz tips him and gestures us to follow him. We enter a place called The Wavering Wood Cafe.

“Happy birthday!” Rhys, Niall, Trixie and other fellow raindrops I identify from tumblr say at the same time as I go through the door.

“Jesus,” I say. I’m stupefied. A surprise party. For me.

Baz hands me another card and our fingertips brush. He cracks an undecipherable smile and looks away.

I read the note.

“It feels like a party.” (page 40)

2:59 pm - First birthday party

(First of many to come)

Baz

I’m having a great time. It’s so fun talking to all my tumblr friends in real life. I finally got to meet Keris, Trixie’s girlfriend. She always posts pics of them together. (Penny finds it gross.) (But that’s personal. She doesn’t like Trixie.)

I keep giving glances towards Baz’s direction. I don’t know why I can’t stop staring at him.

Suddenly, my phone buzzes. It’s a tumblr post from Baz.

I open the link. It’s a fic. It’s called Snowbaz. Not Rainchaz. I read the summary:

“Because I’m disturbed.” (page 205)

“Ask anyone,”I think out loud, smiling. And then continue reading the summary:

3:59 pm - First fanfiction about us

Baz

I start reading the fic. It’s all fluff and love until the last part. Smut. I read it all. And love every word. Fuck.

I look at Baz. He’s already staring at me. I step towards him.

“Hey, Snow,” he says. “Ever tried a flaming shot?”

“I’m underaged, you know.”

“Not in my country,” he smirks.

“Okay, fine, give me a shot.”

“A flaming shot, Snow,” Baz says. “Here.”

He hands me a small glass of liquor and sets it on fire with a lighter. He does the same with his glass.

“To us,” he says.

“To us,” I reply.

He blows out the fire and drinks all the liquor. I mimic him. Ugh. I grimace.

“Sharing a room with the person you want most is like sharing a room with an open fire,” Baz starts saying, looking directly into my eyes. “He’s constantly drawing you in. And you’re constantly stepping too close. And you know it’s not good—that there is no good—that there’s absolutely nothing that can ever come of it. But you do it anyway. And then…”

“Then you burn,” I finish. God, his eyes are fire.

“Page 177. 4:59 pm, first flaming drink.”

“First drink,” I correct.

He laughs and orders a couple more.

We have a couple more shots and talk about our favorite AUs. We talk more than we drink.

Suddenly Baz looks at his watch, and then back at me. With the same blazing eyes from before. He stays silent, just looking at me, for a moment. He looks hesitant.

I think he’s going to kiss me.

But he doesn’t. He keeps staring. Some minutes pass. I stare at my watch. 6:10 pm. Where’s my 5:59 pm gift?

“Simon…” Baz starts, flaming shot in his hand.

And then I kiss him.

We kiss for a long time. Then I let go and make him reach for me. And we kiss again.

After a while, we break the kiss and smile at each other. I’m grinning. I can’t help it.

“I was going to say You were the sun, and I was crashing into you,” Baz says. “But I guess the best quote for this is And then HE kisses ME.” He can’t hide his grin, either.

“Page 342,” I say. “6:10 pm, first kiss.”

“Shite, what time is it?” He asks, already looking at his watch.

“6:50 pm,” I answer, moronically.

“Let’s go have dinner, Simon. You and me, only.”

“Okay,” I say. And I follow him to the next room.

There’s a small table for two with two candles. It’s always fire with Baz.

We sit down and he takes out another card.

“You smell like something I’d gladly eat, page 421,” he says, staring at my eyes. “6:59 pm, first romantic dinner.”

I blush.

After dinner, we all go to a pub. It’s called The World of Mages.

It’s great and I’m so happy to be surrounded by friends and the person I like. Baz. That’s new. Liking boys. No, not boys. Only Baz. Wanting to kiss him over and over again.

He takes my hand and says, “Want to dance?”

I nod and smile at him. I’m crap at dancing but I don’t care.

Baz puts his hands on my waist and leads me through the song. Queen’s Bohemian Rhapsody.

“I should have known that this is what it would be like to dance with Craigon Rain. Fighting in place. Mutual surrender,” Baz whispers into my ear. “Page 508. 7:59 pm, first dance.”

I place both my arms around his neck and slump into him.

We’re still at the pub. Dancing. Well, at least I’m trying.

“What are we going to do?” I ask him. “You’re going to leave back to England.”

“I know,” he answers with a crack in his voice. “We’ll figure it out, little puff.”

“Baz,” I say. “What’s the next gift? I think I have a better idea.”

“Huh? I was going to take you for a drive…”

“I want to be your boyfriend. Your terrible boyfriend,” I say. “Page 390.”

Baz looks surprised. He places both his hands on my face and kisses me, tenderly. “Of course,” he says. And kisses me again.

“8:59 pm,” I say. “First boyfriend.”

And I kiss him again.

After the pub, we say goodbye to our fellow raindrops. There’s a lot of hugging and kisses on the cheek. God, I’m gonna miss them.

“We have to do this more often,” I say. Even though I’m broke. But I’ll find the money somehow.

They all agree.

Once they’re gone, it’s just me and Baz.

“Let’s go back to my apartment,” I tell him.

“What if your father is there?”

“At this time? Not likely. He must be out, drinking again.”

“Okay,” he says.

We go to my apartment and settle in my room. It’s full of constellations on the walls. Because I love astrology. Hence the tattoo.

“Baz, you haven’t seen it,” I say.

“Seen what?”

“The tattoo, idiot!”

I take my shirt off and show it to him. He places his fingertips on my back and starts tracing it. The touch sends shivers down my spine.

“So beautiful…” Baz says.

I turn around and look at him. I reach for his shirt and take it off. Eyes locked on his. I close the distance and kiss him. And then my hands go down. I can’t stop myself. I kiss every spot of his dark olive skin. And I want more. And I can see that he wants, too.

So I take more. I take it all. And I give it all. To him. To Baz.

“Because we match,” I say after a while. My head is resting on Baz’s chest. Our fingers laced. “Page 420.” I look at my watch. “10:58 pm, first time.”

“When did you start giving yourself birthday presents?” Baz asks.

“I think it was when I did this,” I answer. And I kiss him.

“God, I love you, Simon Snow.”

“I love you, Baz.”

“Fell in love, didn’t you?” He smiles.

“10:59 pm, first I love you,” I say.

I go with Baz to the airport. I’m sad that he has to go. But I’m happy that he came. And he’s going to move to the States with his aunt, Fiona, next year. So I just have to wait for a year. And I’m going to visit him soon. Maybe for his birthday.

He looks at me with watery eyes. He holds my hand so hard it hurts a little.

“I’ll come to England, in a couple of months,” I reassure him. “And then you’ll come back. We’ll be seeing each other a lot. You won’t get rid of me that easily.”

“When I come to live in America with Fiona, I’m going to haunt your door day and night.”

There’s a shout for all the passengers of the flight to Southampton Airport.

Baz kisses me, before letting go.

“Goodbye, Simon,” he says. “This is a first and a last goodbye. Because the next time I see you, I won’t let you go for anything in the world.”

“Go on, then,” I say. “Carry on, Baz.”

-FIN-