#im on the verge of quitting but i have loans im late on by months now so bby must work
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Might fuck around and stay up all night and practice French and do my substances and drink too much coffee and then zone out for my 7 hr shift before I can come home and nap and have Tuesday off
#2 trucks this week...monday (today) and Wednesday#im on the verge of quitting but i have loans im late on by months now so bby must work#baby must work and get their life together#i can do it its just hard to get new things to put my stuff in when i have to get the old stuff out first but then i have nowhere to put my#stuff for a period and its like...i already have too much junk but its mostly v precious to me#i need to have a spring cleaning. this is my month#this is my month bc once summer hits im going to be so bitchy i hate the heat so much#i have to really relish (yummy) and respect and appreciate my time and my body and my mind and my turmoil and struggles#its hard realizing that im not just an object to make other peoples lives easier#my mom always used to ask why id behave so well everywhere except at home and ive never put it to her this way....#.....but its bc i love and trust her. at the end of the day we may not always like or understand each other#and she def treats my bro and my step dad w more consideration than she does w me#but i do the same sometimes#and i think its bc we know we can handle it. we r strong where they are weak#we may be more vulnerable and extreme but theres more strength in that yknow...likw we rly hold it together so well#at the end of it all i know she always has my back and i always have hers#idrk where i was going w that...just that i need to practice being actively thankful more. ive been bringing it in and its nice but i wish#i wish i could be less bitter and vindictive in general#sighhh#things to think about#rambling
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