#im obsessed with the absolute chaos

[oddthesungod]

they're a little bit fucked up and i love them a lot 🥰

[wikitpowers]

name a more iconic duo i’ll wait

[sapphorror]

Okay but my favorite GIR moments are ALWAYS the ones that imply he's just aware enough of what's going on to know that the thing he's doing will fuck up Zim's day, and he still does it anyway, possibly specifically for that purpose.

[junebugdunes]

I hope the guilt hits you like a brick

[thechaoticfanartist]

January Of Firsts - Day 1: First Impression

Anakin is convinced that Grim and Obi-Wan are actually related.

Tag List (let me know if you want to be added or removed) : @padme--amygdala @soclonely @mrfandomwars @jgvfhl @starlonkedd @shinhatigf @togrutanduin @jedi-valjean @one-real-imonkey @traygaming @aiylasdrawings @keoxus @veiled-in-stars @sentineljedi @spicysucculentz @amelia-song-pond @it-was-rose @saturnsokas @thejediprincessqueenofnaboo @veradragonjedi @arrthurpendragon @shrinkthisviolet @doodlebugs-and-doodleart @thebrainofoctavian + @thepromptfoundry

[a-whiff-of-a-dream]

Behold: My cringefail Wife Dana Ingellvar!!

[juuheizou]

Throwing this concept @ you (age swap igggg????) imagine if Mutsuki was Juuzou’s mentor 🤭🤭🤭

This isn't the first time I've thought about or started and not finished something of a role-reversal in this way, and let me tell you: mentor!Mutsuki that poor, poor fool. I give him 11 minutes, not just to mentor, but to survive.

Like he would have the beautiful kind heart to see a human being behind the bad things his fellow investigators say about junior investigator!Suzuya and specifically want to give him a chance, but I mean, think about where he would be at Suzuya's age without Suzuya mentoring him. Assuming he continued to be an investigator that long without him. Paired with Suzuya where he was at Mutsuki's age at that time? That Suzuya would eat that Mutsuki alive.

[ghostymarni]

@foxwithadarkside AAAAAAHHHHH IM GIGGLING!!!! you have absolutely nothing to worry about vod <3 you have made my morning 😍 (kriff me I shouldn’t even be up yet)

I have the biggest grin on my face THIS IS AMAZING!!! <3 I love this + i am obsessed with this whole scene; everyone’s reactions are on point + is so chaotically accurate (also absolutely dying at fox + aev, I’m squealing at this point brb going to keep taking his things) 🤤🤭🤣😍❤️‍🔥🦊✨

Sorry about your block!

How about Gregor cooking in the kitchen? Like with a ridiculous apron on or something?

I think he would make a smiley face breakfast just because he could-

his apron says “free hot dog -> bring your own buns”

[kindestofkings]

what came first, the chicken or the dickhead?

[smau]

f1driver!reader x lando norris (eventually, friends to lovers ofc)

authors note: this is so dramatic and for what! sorry to pierre for making you the villian, and lets pretend ferrari isnt as shit as it currently is! lol enjoy, would love to know what you think <333

yourusername

liked by danielricciardo and others

yourusername tough day in the office today, mexico '22 is just not to be I guess. As always a learning curve and we will grow from todays DNF 😞

See you soon Brazil !!

view all 500 comments

ynfan1 we are still so proud of you! keep pushing 👍

f1fan this is literally what you get for trying to compete in a MALE sport

f1fan2 fr she's bringing down pierre and the team f1fan3 too emotional for the big leagues ynfan2 stfu you do realise your favourite MALE drivers dnf all the time aswell

alphataurif1 we come back stronger!!

yourusername 👊👊

alex_albon lily is wondering would going for ice cream cheer you up?

yourusername I love her, yes please 🥹 landonorris I'm coming yourusername nuh huh its for us pointless drivers! landonorris come on it was only 2..

f1fan4 lando norizz trying to make it a double date lollll

f1fan5 bro chill these two have been friends since literal birth

alphataurif1

liked by yourusername and others

alphataurif1 the difference 2 weeks can make! our girl yourusername is starting pole position on sunday here in brazil 🔥

view all 150 comments

yourusername woohoo roll on sunday!!

ynfan1 go bestie go !

ynfan2 AT moving up💪

yourusername

liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername great work achieved today, the car and track felt good. hopefully we can convert this position into some points to finish of the season on a high, all we need is team work on the track (and for max's alarm to not go off so he misses the race 😀)

view all 290 comments 

maxverstappen1 why the personal attack

yourusername WHY do you have to win every week, surely you are bored by it by now ... charles_leclerc I agree, maybe take a week off? f1fan2 hahah these two i'm obsessed

landonorris please do well but not TOO well, just stay behind me 👍

yourusername and look at your ass all race? hard pass

ynfan1 that mention of teamwork is a lil suss...

ynfan2 not really?? it is a team sport ynfan1 yeah but do you not find it weird how unfriendly yourusername and pierregasly are, despite them being on the same team? f1fan tbf I have always noticed how forced their videos are together. and they dont even follow each other

yourusername

liked by landonorris and others 

yourusername lollll ruining my career one interview at a time, but at least we hit the clubs looking fire 🔥

p.s. I stand by what I've said I only have apologies for two people 1) my pr manager (who I dont pay enough for this) and 2) charles for linking your name to this hot mess!

view all 660 comments

landonorris it's so great being the unproblematic one 😎

yourusername does mcclaren need another golden driver from bristol??? I fear im out of a seat soon .. ynfan1 this is so sad you are way to talented of a driver to be out of a suit

charles_leclerc No worries 😅 Just make sure you buy me dinner next time before dragging me into the chaos. 🍽️🤷‍♂️

yourusername you got it prince of monaco! f1fan2 PLEASE PLEASE DATE ynfan2 ewww no her and lando are so so in love they're just too blind and stupid

danielricciardo absolute legend behaviour mate!!

yourusername learning from the best danny ric 😎

alphataurif1 and yourusername

Liked by landonorris and others

alphataurif1 From grid battles to glory laps! 🏁✨ Our unstoppable driver just clinched her FIRST WIN at the Abu Dhabi Grand Prix! 🏆 Watch out, world – she's rewriting the history books and leaving her mark on the track. 🚀🌟

#AlphaQueen #AbuDhabiWinner

view all 444 comments

danielricciardo What a race! Big congrats, yourusername. That first win feeling is something else! Enjoy every moment!

alex_albon: absolutely smashed it! huge congratulations on your first win!

carlossainz55 felicidades!!

susie_wolff: breaking barriers and making history! huge congratulations on your first win!

yourusername AHHHHH I CANT BELIEVE IT ! I LOVE YOU TEAM !!

ynfan1 lando where is your congrats you are slippinnn!!

landonorris

Liked by yourusername and others

landonorris I've never been this happy to lose, but it's pretty cool seeing your best friend win in her rookie year. EVEN if she beaten me to it 😞

view all 150 comments

yourusername LANDOOOO you are a the bestest friend ever

yourusername would not have gotten here with out you, my partner in crime <3

ynfan1 best friend?? y'all are still so blind

f1fan everytime you call her your best friend you reaffirm the lando NORIZZ name

danielricciardo facts alex_albon facts carlossainz55 facts charles_leclerc facts yukitsunoda0511 facts maxverstappen1 facts landonorris CAN YOU SHUT UP

scuderiaferrari

liked by landonorris and others

scuderiaferrari oh we thought we should just let you know our driver line up for 2023 👀 say hello to the dynamic addition to the Ferrari family, the wonderfully feisty yourusername! get ready for a season full of speed, passion, and fierce competition. Welcome to Maranello! 🇮🇹

view all 700 comments 

ynfan1 HOLY F*CK

susie_wolff wow congrats yourusername!! wishing you all the best !

yourusername thank you so much susie! your advice the last few weeks has help me so much ! ynfan1 I love when girls support girls 💓

yourusername can't wait to get started! forza ferrari ❤️❤️

charles_leclerc this is going to be incredible! congrats !!

yourusername thank you charles <33 be prepared to be sick of me lol ynfan1 so happy shes got a teammate who acc is a decent guy

ynfan2 LOLLLL I bet pierre is sick

landonorris slayed 💅

yourusername 😂😂 f1fan watch out mr norizz her new teammate is mr steal-your-girl

[callme-holly]

OKAY OKAY, HEAR ME OUT....

Darry x wife reader where they have a son, and he really really wants to be just like his dad and play football and is low-key a terror to his mom...

𝐝𝐚𝐝!𝐝𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐲 𝐱 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫 [𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐧]

𝐚/𝐧 : y'all wanted more dad!darry and im delivering. i was hoping to get a bunch posted but i feel like shit and ive been crazy busy

The second your son was born, you knew he’d be just like Darry, and he’d be an absolute nightmare.

Darry is so incredibly proud of his boy and with each passing day, you could spot more and more similarities between them 

As soon as he can walk, your son is toddling around after Darry everywhere he goes. This kiddo is obsessed. 

When he’s old enough, Darry would start teaching your son about football, and soon it becomes a routine for them to sit on the couch together after Darry comes home from work and watch the games together

Your son looks up to Darry like he’s some type of idol. He always says that when he grows up, he wants to be just kike his dad, and you can’t even be upset about it bc its so damn cute

The gang teases you all the time for it because having to deal with one Curtis boy is enough, but two? Chaos.

These boys are always playing football in the yard together. I’m talking 24/7. Whether its raining, windy, or sunny. They don’t care. It becomes a problem for you, however, when you’re the one who has to wash muddy clothes and makes sure they stay off the couches and go take showers. 

Your son copies everything Darry does, from the way he drinks his coffee and reads the paper in the morning (except he swaps it out for milk and a comic), right down to the way he walks around the house with his hands on his hips. 

Both Darry and your son are fiercely protective of you, and when he’s older, your boy will fight for your honour if it’s the last thing he does. If anyone makes even the smallest comment about you, he’ll glare at them, puffing out his chest whilst delivering the sassiest comment a kid can come out with.

Sometimes when Darry is working late, your son will help you “cook” dinner the same way his dad taught him. It more often than not ends with him covered in ingredients, and you do most of the work, but he gets 50% of the credit regardless.

At bedtime, Darry will sit and read to your son until he falls asleep. Sometimes he tells stories from high school or about the gang, and your son hangs onto every single word, thinking they’re the coolest stories ever. 

The teen years are when things get crazy

Your baby boy has a growth spurt out of nowhere and it isn’t long before he’s the spitting image of his dad: broad shoulders, serious expression, and slowly growing taller than you 

Arguments happen a little more often. Their personalities are so similar that they tend to clash and butt heads, leading to you having to bring everyone back down to earth. They end up making up eventually, whether thats through talking it out or soft teasing until the other laughs.

[nordarknessdimsthesky]

A linguistic analysis of tumblr hyperbole in the tags

This post expands my previous analysis of hyperbolic reactions to cluster tags by themes. There were too many themes, some of them overlapping, to create a cohesive graph. Instead, I present several overarching themes from a data set of 50 tags observed and documented in various corners of tumblr.

1. Feeling Normal™️

Tags within this cluster profess Normal feelings (read: extreme excitement, enthusiasm, obsession, derangement, etc.).

#mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #absolutely not rending my clothing #feeling very normal and not feral at all #i will simply never recover #gif sets sent to personally destroy me #i can't cope #the eyes #i'm a puddle #i am INCONSOLABLE #i am DISTRAUGHT #IM NOT OKKAAAAAAYYYYYY #FEELING TOTALLY ONE HUNDRED PERCENT NORMAL

2. Feralness

The following data points conjure animalistic behavior. There’s a non-zero amount of biting and chewing involved.

#chomping biting barking #biting my arms off #rattling my cage #[incoherent biting noises] #chewing glass #chewing through wood #*shaking the bars of my enclosure* HELLO!!!!!!!! #climbing the walls #biting gnawing chewing #im gonna rip off my front door and eat it

3. Noisy Emotional Outbursts

These tags encompass crying, screaming, yelling, and other loud reactions.

# shaking sobbing crying #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #*no thoughts only wailing* #i am SOBBING #IM CRYING LIKE A BITCH #*just fucking yelling* #S C R E A M #screeching into a pillow #brb sobbing for 5-7 business years

4. Throwing

All of these tags except the last one involve being thrown instead of throwing things. I, personally, am entertained by the range of places/situations people are throwing themselves into.

#i am going to THROW MYSELF into the SEA #hurl me into the sea #hurl me into the sun #trebuchet me into the sun #hurl me straight at europa #vent me out of an airlock #slam me against a wall #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #throwing myself into traffic you know? #just defenestrate me already #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass #i'm going to start tossing furniture

5. Bodily Harm

There’s a good deal of overlap with the previous theme. Nearly all of the tags involving throwing would result in varying degrees of bodily harm. Here are the tags outside of the Throwing subgroup.  

#im going to throw upppppp #tearing my hair out #banging my head against the wall #SCREAMIIIING BANGING MY HEAD ON THE WALL #biting my arms off #microwaving myself #crumple me up and microwave me

6. Absurdism

My personal favorite cluster. The imagery conjured and resulting comedic hyperbole is just [chef’s kiss].

#im gonna rip off my front door and eat it #crumple me up and microwave me #put me in a box and throw me down the stairs #defenestrate me #absolutely hurl me through plate glass

7. Keysmashes

These tags center less around meaning and more around style, so they form the last group. A handful of these could fall under Noisy Emotional Outbursts because they represent reaction noises. In my linguistic judgment, keysmashing increases the hyperbole – consider augh versus aughfhghghghhh – the latter reads as prolonged and more intense emotionally.

#aghdjakgsjadhjaka * #hrhrhrhgnnnghhhhh #aughfhghghghhh #mmmmrrrghuhhhhghhh #I'm so normal about it teehee #waughfhghghh #oughhhhghghhh

*one digression in a friend discord server was how people interpret keysmashes in their minds. Some hear the first couple letters and then some sputtering, others hear static. It’s a common joke that you need a minor in linguistics to understand conversations in this friend group. Such is the nature of things when the chaos linguist energy is strong.

[jzprncess]

max’s hair, max’s way

pairing: max verstappen x reader

oneshot

word count: 2,489

summary : Y/N discovers an AI image of Max Verstappen with long hair and can’t stop imagining how amazing he’d look with it. After dropping subtle hints, Max finally catches on and humorously entertains the idea. What follows is a hilarious, over-the-top obsession with starting a fan club—Max’s hair revolution is coming, whether he’s ready or not.

note : this one was actually quite easy to write but then again im just in a mood to write so i finished it in a few hours. this was a request that was submitted on my google forms!

༻﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡﹡༺

Y/N’s day had been nothing short of a mess. She'd woken up late for a Zoom call, spilled coffee on her favorite sweatshirt (the one she swore was invincible to stains), and had yet another online shopping cart full of things she definitely didn’t need, but had to have. It wasn’t even noon, and she was already on her third attempt at taking a nap that didn’t feel like an awkward lie-down.

But there was one thing that had the potential to make it all better: mindless scrolling.

Her thumb lazily flicked through TikTok, her mind barely engaged as she watched videos that made zero sense, but for some reason, her brain processed them like essential information. It was supposed to be a five-minute break—a little escape before diving back into her ocean of responsibilities. She figured she'd scroll, mindlessly and aimlessly, just to silence the chaos in her head.

But then... she saw it.

It wasn’t some cute puppy video or a cooking hack that would forever change her life. No, no. It was something far more dangerous, far more potent, and absolutely life-changing.

Max Verstappen.

But not just any Max. No, this was an alternate universe Max—a Max created by the magical, terrifying powers of AI. The Max on her screen had hair that cascaded in long, perfect waves, the kind you could only dream about, or maybe see on a runway model. His sharp jawline was even more defined than usual (which shouldn’t be possible, but here we are), and his eyes—those piercing blue eyes—looked even more mysterious, as though he were a brooding poet in an indie movie. He was staring at her, but also not staring at her, if you know what she meant.

And then she saw it.

The hair.

Max’s new look was a cascade of locks that would make any shampoo ad jealous. It was silky, voluminous, perfectly tousled like he’d just walked out of a windstorm of pure glamor. It was glorious. It was breathtaking.

Y/N stopped dead in her tracks. Her thumb froze mid-scroll. Her heart rate ticked up a few notches. Holy shit. She didn’t even care that she was in a coffee-stained hoodie and still hadn’t brushed her hair. Nothing mattered anymore, because here was Max Verstappen, looking like an absolute dreamboat in a way she never thought possible. This wasn’t the Max she’d seen on the racetrack—no, this was a Max that belonged in the front pages of a high fashion magazine, throwing a rebellious look over his shoulder like a 90s pop star.

She blinked, trying to process what she was seeing. Her fingers twitched, ready to swipe, but she couldn’t tear her eyes away. Max with long hair. Her mind couldn’t let go of the image. It was perfect. He was perfect.

She leaned closer to the screen, squinting to examine every glorious detail, every strand of hair that seemed to defy physics. Could he actually pull this off in real life? Her fingers hovered over the screenshot button for a moment before she snapped it without hesitation.

And then, she did what any sane person would do: she set the image as her phone wallpaper.

There was no going back now. She wasn’t just going to stare at this picture once and forget about it. No, Max Verstappen with long hair was going to become her new obsession. She’d stare at it every time she unlocked her phone, letting the image haunt her dreams. Maybe she’d make it her lock screen too, just to really solidify the insanity.

The idea of Max with long hair, that Max, consumed her. Every time she glanced at the picture, it felt like an out-of-body experience. Was this how people got obsessed with celebrity transformations? Because this was absolutely it. She wasn’t even mad about it. She was already thinking of all the ways she could drop this bombshell on Max—subtle, of course. It had to be subtle. But she had to let him know somehow.

“Maybe I could just send it to him,” she muttered aloud to no one. “No, no... way too obvious.”

A sly grin spread across her face. She wasn’t going to just send the picture. No, she had a better idea. Max wouldn’t even see it coming.

She looked at the time—still early afternoon. Plenty of time to start planning. Oh, this was going to be fun.

After setting the AI picture as her wallpaper for the seventh time that day, Y/N leaned back in her chair, the wheels in her mind turning at lightning speed.

She had the plan now. She wasn’t just going to sit back and hope Max would see the error of his short-haired ways. No, Y/N was going to subtly—so subtly—nudge him into realizing that long hair was, in fact, the future. She’d been around the block enough to know how to manipulate situations for her own personal benefit.

Okay, maybe "manipulate" was too harsh of a word, but it sounded cool.

“Step one,” she muttered to herself, “Casual comments.”

She scrolled through her texts, thinking about what would be the perfect, casual way to throw out the idea of hair transformation.

Max had no idea what was about to hit him.

Y/N had spent the better part of the evening staring at her phone, just waiting for Max to reply to her text. She had done it—sent the casual, completely not obvious message about how “some people” just looked so good with long hair. She leaned back in her chair, a deep sense of satisfaction settling in. There was no way Max could miss the hint. She had done it perfectly. It was subtle, yet not so subtle that it was too subtle. The emoji sealed the deal. 😏

Still, she couldn’t help herself. She had to check her phone again, just to make sure the message had landed.

The screen lit up with a notification from Max. Y/N’s heart did a little dance. Here we go. She clicked it open, already anticipating his response.

Max: "Haha, are you talking about me? I’m not sure I could pull off long hair..."

Y/N froze. The message was a lot more casual than she’d hoped for. She reread it, her eyes scanning for the tiniest hint of curiosity or intrigue, but all she found was... confusion?

What? She thought she’d laid it out perfectly. The whole mysterious vibe thing had been an obvious clue!

Still, she wasn’t going to give up. Not yet. The game had only just begun.

She sat there for a moment, staring at the screen like she was trying to solve an impossible puzzle. A plan. She needed a plan, and it needed to be more than just a text.

Her eyes darted around the room. The walls, the plants, the weirdly shaped lamp on her desk—all were silent witnesses to her genius, or lack thereof, depending on how things went. But then—a light bulb moment.

It was obvious. She wasn’t going to be able to hint at this through mere text alone. No, no. She needed to get creative. She needed to make him see it—to envision the hair that could change his life. This was the moment where her vision and Max’s reality collided.

A slow grin spread across Y/N’s face. She knew just what to do.

Step one: The Subtle Instagram Story.

It was genius. Max would never suspect it. After all, people posted memes, weird videos, and obscure thoughts all the time. But Y/N had something more—something that could convince him without even saying a word.

She snapped a picture of herself—looking effortlessly glamorous, of course—and started typing her story caption.

“Do you ever think about how long hair changes a whole vibe? Like, imagine you had long hair... just think about it... 🧐”

She paused, reading it over. Was this too much? Too obvious? Too ridiculous?

Nah. It was perfect.

She hit post and waited, staring at her phone screen as if it would reveal some deep, philosophical answer to the universe’s mysteries.

The next few minutes felt like an eternity. She could practically feel the electricity buzzing in the air. She didn’t even know if Max was online, but her brain couldn’t shut down. The message was out there now. The seed had been planted. She was too far gone to back out now.

And then, a notification buzzed. It was from Max. She checked it eagerly.

Max: “Is this about me too? Because now I’m starting to wonder if I’m missing out on some kind of hair revolution."

Y/N’s eyes went wide. Was he actually considering it? No, no. He had to be messing with her. She stared at the message for a second longer than she should have, trying to decide if this was a real response or if she had somehow misinterpreted the whole thing.

No. He had to be getting it. She wasn’t backing down now. She had created a monster out of her own wild, absurd imagination, and it was all going exactly as planned.

She quickly typed back, a little too eagerly, but who could blame her?

Y/N: “Imagine the vibe, Max. Imagine the wind in your hair as you race, that confidence flowing through you. Like a whole new level of fabulous.”

There. That was perfect. She leaned back in her chair and waited for a response.

But of course, Max—being Max—didn’t make things easy.

Minutes passed. No reply.

Was he thinking about it? Was he in deep contemplation about whether he’d look good with long hair? Y/N felt like she might explode. Come on, Max. You’ve got this. Just admit it.

She stared at her screen until the words blurred together.

And then, finally, a message came in.

Max: "Alright, alright, I’ll admit it. I’m curious now. But do you really think I’d look good with long hair? I mean, I can’t picture it."

Y/N stared at her phone in disbelief.

This was it. This was her moment. He was actually questioning it. She could already hear the victory music playing in her head.

She took a deep breath, trying not to sound too smug.

Y/N: “Max, I’m telling you, it’s a whole vibe. You might just become the most iconic man in Formula 1 with long hair. People would talk about you for centuries.”

She added a winking emoji for good measure.

Max: “Centuries? Okay, now you’re definitely messing with me.”

Y/N couldn’t help but laugh out loud. Oh, she was so close now.

After Max’s message came through, Y/N could barely contain herself. She wanted to scream, to do a victory dance, but instead, she opted for something slightly more composed: a dramatic flailing of her arms in the air and a loud, victorious "YES!" that echoed through her apartment like an over-the-top, one-woman celebration.

Max was actually considering it. He was at least open to the idea of long hair in the future.

This was the moment. She had won.

But the funniest part? Max wasn’t even aware of the scale of Y/N’s obsession. He was just playing along with her ridiculous game, unaware that she was about to go into full, borderline obsessive mode.

She stared at the text again, eyes wide, her heart racing. He was going to do it. One day—maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow—but Max Verstappen would, in fact, grow out his hair. He was practically promising it.

Y/N’s mind whirled with a thousand thoughts, each one more absurd than the last. She could already picture it: Max, standing on the racetrack, hair flying dramatically behind him as he sped past everyone. She could already hear the cheers. It was happening.

She grabbed her phone with shaking hands, barely able to type a coherent message. It was one thing for her to joke about it. But the fact that Max had actually said he’d grow his hair out one day? She couldn’t be the only one who was excited about this.

Y/N: “Max... no joke, I’m going to lose it the day you show up with long hair. I’ll probably start a fan club or something. A whole movement. ‘Max’s Hair, Max’s Way.’ How does that sound?”

She hit send and then immediately regretted it. It sounded insane. What was wrong with her?

She stared at the message for a long moment, debating whether she should delete it or just let it be. But before she could decide, Max’s reply came in like a gift from the hair gods themselves.

Max: “I don’t know about a whole movement, but hey, if I ever grow it out, you can be the president of the fan club. Just... don’t make it too weird, alright?”

Y/N almost dropped her phone. President? He was serious about this. She had an actual title in the most bizarre, ridiculous movement of her life.

Wait. Make it too weird? Oh, Max. She had already made it weird.

She texted back, too quickly, as if he could see her grinning like a maniac.

Y/N: “Deal. I’ll make sure to have the first fan club meeting at your next race. You better be ready for it.”

Max: “I’ll be sure to bring my best hair flip to the race. It’s going to be legendary.”

Y/N clutched her phone to her chest like she had just received the greatest treasure in the world. This was happening. It was happening in the future. She couldn’t wait. The anticipation was going to drive her insane.

But right now? She was going to enjoy the chaos of it all. She leaned back in her chair, hands trembling as she stared at the screen, imagining all the memes, the fan art, the movement. And who knew? Maybe one day, Max Verstappen would really grow out his hair.

Until then, Y/N was going to spend the next few weeks plotting the perfect fan club logo.

And so, Y/N’s obsession grew, her fantasies becoming wilder by the day. Every time she heard a hair-related joke or saw a picture of someone with long hair, she’d start giggling to herself like a schoolgirl with a crush. It wasn’t about Max’s hair anymore; it was about the ridiculous movement she had created, a movement that only she truly understood.

As for Max? He was still blissfully unaware of the full extent of Y/N’s hair dreams, but every now and then, he’d shoot her a quick text.

Max: “So... I’ve been thinking about it. Maybe I’ll start growing it out... one day. You ready to lead the fan club?”

And Y/N would reply with a heart full of excitement and a mind full of absurd possibilities.

Max’s Hair, Max’s Way. It was only a matter of time before the world caught on to the movement.

━─━────༺༻────━─━

taglist : @heluvsjappie @awritingtree @steamy-smokey @alex-wotton

[arcielee]

A love that burns.

Summary: Aemond is a man obsessed and you are the object of his unwavering devotion. Paring: Aemond Targaryen x Female!Reader Word Count: 1037 Warnings: Canon book Aemond, manipulation?, sexual themes, oral (female receiving), p in v, absolute depravity and murder. Author’s Note: This is a reader insert, but with the third person perspective, it is a bit Alys-coded kind of? (I rewrote one of her lines in F&B) A big thank you to @bhxrdy and @itbmojojoejo helping me fix some mistakes and for helping me choose the title 💜🦝 This story is dedicated to the wonderful, the talented @aegonx who gave me prompt #371 by @creativepromptsforwriting. She also made my nifty banner for my blog, so I owe her everything. I am always happy to attempt any requests, I just cannot promise a timely fashion, as it is more whenever the muse strikes. Tags (Tumblr kindred spirits): @aaaaaamond @annikin-im-panicin @watercolorskyy @schniiipsel @sylas-the-grim @aemondx @fan-goddess @babygirlyofthevale @httpsdoll @theromanticegoist @assortedseaglass @amiraisgoingthruit @theoneeyedprince @babyblue711 @girlwith-thepearlearring @hb8301 @lovelykhaleesiii @darylandbethfanforever9

He was a dragon incarnate with the blood of Old Valyria knitted within the ichor that coursed through his veins. Aemond was proud, tall and lithe, his broad shoulders held back despite the burdened weight of his reputation that preceded him–Aemond the One-Eye, Aemond the Kinslayer, but those utterances only rolled like rain against the scales of Vhagar; he was unbothered, unharried, especially now his role within the kingdom elated with the title Prince Regent, and with it the Conqueror’s Crown to wear. 

The metal and rubies held a weight that now grounded him, reminding him of his purpose, and he went to reclaim Harrenhal with the intent of killing every Strong bastard. 

Here is where he had found her, an eerie calm amongst the chaos, silent despite the cries of mercy as each person was brought to the courtyard and slain. She had watched, unblinking, with an expression that was akin to when Aemond had watched his nuncle take the head of Vaemond Velaryon in the Throne Room a year prior; it had been a moment that kindled a bloodlust that thrummed beneath his skin, a vengeance that could not be forgotten. 

That night, when she was brought to his quarters, she greeted him like an old lover, a sweet kiss pressed to his lips, her soft murmur, “I have been waiting for you, my prince.” 

She came from a noble house without the wealth of Westeros, but revered still and old, old enough to carry the blood of the First Men and its mystical properties. She had followed her sister to Harrenhal when she was chosen to be the next wife for Ser Simon Strong.

Both were now dead and she did not seem to care. 

“Then why did you choose to accompany your sister?” Aemond had asked her after; it was that intimate exchange shared in their bared embrace, nestled on sex soaked linens with her plush thighs serving as a pillow.

Her fingers thread through his silver hair. “The Isle of Faces,” and she smiled, as if she were stating the obvious; she leaned forward to give a chaste kiss to his lips. “I came to listen to the whispers of the weirwoods.” 

Behind closed doors he was intoxicated by her proximity, with an unbridled lust that replaced the blood in his veins, as if she were the very embodiment of his siren call. They fell into one another, and he felt something that burned within him, something that perhaps was always there and only now  ignited by her soft touch, by her gentle pull that brought him flushed against her chest. 

Aemond would worship her through the night, drinking her very essence until the brim of her overstimulation, until he saw her lashes clumped together from her unshed tears, and only then would he shift his weight between her thighs, flushed and slick from her peaks. 

He would move to press his heady cock, heavy and wanting, against her silken folds, and despite their many nights together, she would still feel split open, aware of the ridges and the veins of his thick member as he sheathed within. Her soft gasps came in response to his thrusts that would begin again the crests of ravishment that warmed her blood; and he would not stop his pace until she was a mewling mess, until the lewd sounds of skin to skin mixed with her cries of release, until his name was a repeated reverent prayer that spilled from her lips. 

Aemond hummed her praises, his hot exhale against the curve of her neck. “The gods made you for me alone,” he would breathe against her lips and they would part in a silent cry, her skin pebbling with pleasure. “You were made to take my cock, and you do so well.” 

His words brought her to the precipice and when she felt his hot pulse within her velvet walls, her own clenched in response to chase another climax with boneless ambition, with a sobbed release as the air tore from her lungs but she was breathless to reclaim. Only then would they curl into each other’s arms, their skin aglow with the intimacy shared, with the soft murmurs and quiet exchanges of lovers in their post-coital haze.

“I will have your son,” she promised him. “I can already feel the flames warming my womb.” 

She was always at his side, devoted, everpresent, with a severe gaze that served as a balm for the Prince Regent in the most twisted way. They called her his Blood Queen as she seemed to encourage a sadism that pulsed beneath, speaking that the gods knew what had to be done and that he was the vessel of their actions, always encouraging him to listen to the beckon of the blood of Old Valyria. 

Aemond became a man obsessed and she fed into his depravity; she spoke with such conviction and he believed her every word, her every prophecy. When she would take a boat across the waters, he would remain on the shore pacing like an animal caged, while Vhagar roared overhead, the wind beneath her wings causing turbulent waves that crashed against the lakeside. 

She returned as her namesake with blood that covered her hands and her dress; she would whisper what she saw to him alone, of what was to come and what needed to be done. On one such day, she spoke of the betrayal in the Riverlands, of those who had chosen to ally with the Blacks and their false queen. 

Aemond called for Vhagar and they climbed aback; she was knitted against his backside with her cheek pressed between his shoulder blades, and she could feel his rumbled command, “Dracarys,” to rain fire below them, scorching the very earth. She hummed her contentment, the scent of sandalwood and smoke, a scent that intimately belonged to the Prince Regent. 

Her arms curled around his slim waist and he looked down to see her small hand pressed against his chest. Though the histories would recall all the ugly things they had done, in this moment, as his palm reached to cover hers, all he thought was how their entwined fingers were so beautiful together. 

arcie's masterlist

[chaosprincess404]

💗About me💗

Name: Sakura

Age: 35

Height: 153cm/5ft

Nationality: Japanese x Australian

(Yes I can moan in 2 languages)

S/D: Switch but default Sub princess.

Status: Unowned and seeking both a master and a puppy.

Fun fact: I’m hyper sexual.

💗Kinks💗

CNC, Breeding, BD/SM, face fucking, face sitting, ass eating, gagging, drooling, ahegao queen, choking, slapping, biting, hardcore, public, humiliation, free use, princess treatment, femdom, financialdom, ownership, puppy boys, praise, unhealthy obsession, knife play, costumes, pain….. pretty much anything but scatt sorry

💗Biggest turn on💗

Seeing a man obsess over me it will get me so wet regardless of where I am. This is not a joke it gets me so turned on. 🤤💗

💗A little more about me💗

Im a chaos princess who loves making bad decisions. I have the words human trash tattooed on my arm in Japanese and chaos in Korean. I have an obsession with sex and tattoos. I’m a Tech nerd who works in cybersec, I do neon night street photography and 3D asset building for games. I worked as a hentai voice actress for three years in Tokyo. I’m fluent in English and Japanese and can play any part you want. I do have OF which I use the money to support my chaotic life by buying sex toys, costumes, and mainly to support my dream of being a tattoo artist and saving up for my tattoo gear and a better PC build. I tend to like nerdy guys who want to destroy me or me to destroy them.

💗How to simp for me?💗

I love simps and encourage simp behaviour. The more you obsess over me the more attention I will give you because people being obsessed turns me on.

1. Sub for to my OF, I reply to all DMs there and you will get my attention more than any other platform.

2. Repost my posts, like and comment.

3. Send me Anons

4. Follow my IG _dopam1n3

5. Spoil me by sending me a little something cute from my throne Wishlist.

💗FAQS💗

- Pet names I like: Princess, Goddess, Babydoll, Mistress.

- Have you ever dated a fan? Yes my ex originally was my fan.

- Sub or Dom? I’m a switch so I enjoy being both sub and dom. I love being owned and being taken care of but I also like owning someone.

- Do you have PayPal? Yes DM me for it.

- Do you make custom content? Yes I offer custom content on my OF.

- Do you accept tributes? Yes I do.

- Can you ruin my life? Yes absolutely!

- Where to talk to you? I reply fastest in OF and from time to time I reply on IG and Tumblr.

💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜🖤💜

[chuuyrr]

would scarlet witch reader be able to read dazais mind?? i dont know if he would be able to completely nullify scarlet witch readers ability tho right? IM JUST OBSESSED WITH THIS NEW AU OF YOURS

scarlet witch! reader reading dazai's mind

bungo stray dogs x scarlet witch! reader

masterlist of the series

╰➤ CW(s): fluff, suggestive, headcanons

╰➤ PAIRING(s): dazai osamu

╰➤ SYNOPSIS: in which you, the scarlet witch, reads dazai osamu's mind using your "wiggly-woos" or chaos magic

headcanons !

dazai's mind has an array of thoughts.

there are thoughts of him committing you know what, strategies and deductions, and you were taken aback to think this man had feelings for you as he had thoughts for you.

dazai didn't even know you could read his mind at first since he was confident in his ability, but he was obviously wrong.

he is aware that you have the ability to enter other people's heads and read their thoughts given your special ability, but he also knows how you rarely use it unless absolutely necessary.

but you then caught dazai thinking about you one day in the office since his noisy thoughts were all over the place as they progressively built up over time.

and to be fair, dazai flirts with anyone and everyone, so it's difficult to imagine he likes you so much when you see how his head is filled with thoughts of you.

thoughts of you flashing him such a charming little smile, thoughts of you tilting your head at him whenever he asks you on a double suicide or flirts with you, or thoughts of you tilting your head at your foes when you're literally ready to annihilate them with your chaos magic ability.

all of dazai's mind was you, you, and you.

apart from every other thought that is.

dazai was actually surprised when you read his mind because his ability cannot negate yours, and your blushing made that clear.

is he embarrassed? no, of course not. he's dazai. he even has a shit-eating grin on his face when he sees your shy and blushing, surprised expression, and he's not even furious that you can read his thoughts.

dazai actually uses the fact that you can read his mind more of his advantage.

he often makes himself think about and play suggestive thoughts for you to see and read with your "wiggly-woos" magic.

dazai, being dazai, makes you see for yourself through his mind how badly he wants to kiss your lips, nibble at your neck to find your most sensitive sweet places and maybe mark you as his, and get a hold of you to feel up your soft, warm, and velvety skin.

dazai also imagines you in various attire that may or may not be revealing at times, or just how adorable and beautiful you would look with his coat and other clothes on you.

he loves your blushing and wide-eyed expression as you read or see it from his mind, or how you close your eyes shut while telepathically yelling at him to stop.

on a more serious side, dazai does use it in a more proper and beneficial manner during missions for the detective agency, but he genuinely likes making you red and shy with his very own thoughts about you.

and, on an annoying note, dazai does, in fact, utilize your ability to read his mind to make you hear his cheesy poetic sweet nothings, like how adorable you are when you scrunch your brows, how beautiful your smile is, and how stunning you are even when you're a mess.

he even calls you sweetheart, darling, and precious in his thoughts and not just in reality, making sure to say it aloud in his head especially for you to hear or read.

dazai also has a habit of mentally calling your name repeatedly just to get your attention and poke fun with you when you ignore him or are otherwise preoccupied.

you may be the fearsome and all powerful scarlet witch, capable of twisting reality to your liking with the snap of your fingers.

but with dazai around, you're no match as he knows how to make you nervous, flustered, and all vulnerable with his genuine and loving affections for you.

[ author's notes ! this was my first time writing something suggestive which i honestly doubt is even suggestive, but it is for me, so yeah. i've been listening to fetish, the ariana granda x selena gomez remix, and i got the motivation to write for dazai and attempt at something (which i ain't entirely proud of ngl), but anyway, it is still a new post from me, yours truly, niki, and i hope you still liked it !! (๑>◡<๑) ]

[ join my taglist, perhaps ? @atomi-mi @anonymousewrites @magpiemissy @anqelically @96jnie @lovesick-fairy @soleelia @celestair @irethepotato @nianre @sigmasdarling @lenasvoid @bloobewy @sittingalonereads @weedswitch @dazai-gojo-kinnie @17chuuya @idunnomynamesince2005 @youdidntseemehere21 @just-here-reading @achlysyo ]

[prettypinkporkchop]

IM ABSOLUTELY OBSESSED WITH HOW THE WOLVES WOULD ACT IF YOU ARE ALTERNATIVE!!! (me. I am ALTERNATIVE. Grunge. Pookie.)

Here's one with Embry

I know I'm alive

Summary: Hey alternative/goth/grunge/eno pookie! Edward and Bella are getting married. Embry wants to keep you out of the chaos. How does he do that?

Warning: language, smut, Deftones Coded

Song: Beauty School - Deftones

"I watch you taste it. I see your face. And I know I'm alive. You're shooting stars. From the barrel of your eyes."

Embry grabs your wrist, making you jump and take out your earpod. You drop your attempted knitted blanket. You're trying here, lol.

"Hm?" You look at him.

"Sorry to interrupt you, babe. Sam called. Bullshit meeting with the Cullens." He smiles and then sits beside you on the bed.

"Mm. Of course. Is it about the wedding?" You snort.

"Yup. Imagine marrying a dead man." Embry chuckles and grabs onto you, biting your shoulder softly.

You squeeze into his body. "If you were dead, I'd still be with you." You look over at his face.

"I'd be with you, too.." his face lifts into a smile. "Imprint." He winks.

You giggle and shake your head. "Go to the meeting. I'll be here." You kiss his nose.

He scrunches his face and then stands up.

----

You finish cleaning the house when your phone dings. You check it.

Kim: GIRL! Apparently we are going to the wedding. I have no clue why. Time to go dress shopping I guess. Unless I wear my prom dress from senior year lol.

You: I don't wannnnaaaaaa. Lol plz help.

Kim: trust me. I know. What's that song you showed me? I wanna quote it. It's like uh.. "fuck that fuck that" corn?

You: LMFAO A FOR EFFORT. I LOVE YOU.

After a while, Embry opens the door and you stare at him with a blank face.

"I know. Come on, let's go get you a dress." He sighs.

You two go shopping and you end up getting this dress: (this what I pick but you can choose whatever)

"Do I look ugly in this?" You ask Embry as you two walk to Seth, who is standing near the cake. You adjust it a bit, pulling it down.

"Uh, uh. Shut up." He wraps an arm around you, his hand gripping your waist.

You guys make it to Seth, who's eyeing the cake.

"Hungry, kid?" Embry laughs.

"Yes, but the cake is so fancy. I'll feel bad eating it." Seth laughs.

Embry lets you go and looks towards the trees. "Jake is here." He says.

He walks toward him, leaving you next to Seth. Seth shrugs at you and then wraps his arm in yours.

"Want to find some chairs? I think it's about to start."

"Sure." You smile.

Before you two walk toward the chairs, you hear commotion in the woods. Seth keeps a hold of your arm and you quickly walk that way.

There stands Jacob and Bella. Sam is yelling at Jacob. Embry stands there with a sad face. He looks over at you and motions you to stand by him. You walk over to him and Jacob runs off.

"Sex with a vampire." He whispers in your ear.

This shocks you. How could they be so stupid? "I'm going to go find Kimmy.." You sigh.

"No, ma'am. Stay by me.after this, I'm on guard." He whispers.

----

You decide to leave the wedding with the girls. It's an awkward car ride. It's silent.

"How about we listen to something to lighten the mood." Emily says.

Kim who sits in the back beside you, turns her head to you and smiles. "Korn?" She asks.

"Let's get our anger out." Rachel in the passenger seat agrees.

"Come on, Kim. Let's try something different. Ever heard of Deftones?" You raise an eyebrow at her.

"I think Jared likes them." She says.

Emily connects your phone to Bluetooth, and you end up playing My Own Summer (Shove It). Emily is nodding her head to It. Rachel is tapping her hand on the console. Kim is dramatically head banging.

"All I understand is 'shut it shut it shut it', and that's how I feel!" She screams over the song.

You laugh and then turn your phone to her, showing her the title.

"Oh! I'll pretend it's shut it!" She laughs.

----

Embry finally makes it home. You're already comfortable in your pajamas and laying on the bed, knitting.

Pajamas: (what I envision)

Embry opens the bedroom door, and he has his hands behind his back. He's smiling mischievously.

"Uh oh, what you got?" You eye him.

"Open your hand."

You lift out both of your hands, cupping them. He leans forward and drops it.

Eyeliner!!!!

"I found it in the truck. I remember you've been looking for it." He smiles.

"Eek! Thank you, hottie!" You jump up on your knees and wrap your arms around his neck. You pull him down on top of you.

"Damn, tiger." He chuckles and kisses you.

You kiss him back softly and wrap your legs around him. Because of that, you feel him get hard. You decide to fuck with him and push yourself up against him. He growls in your mouth and grabs your sides roughly. His fingers dig deep and you know it'll bruise.

He pulls away and looks down at you. "Let's forget about everything." He whispers.

You quickly nod your head and pull him back down to kiss you. His hands reach up and pull your shirt up. You briefly pull back from his lips to take off your shirt. He reaches up and grabs your breasts, groping them roughly. You groan and move your hands down to unbutton his jeans. He lifts up, letting you do that, and throws his shirt off. You've got them unbuttoned, so he pulls them down. He lowers himself and pulls off your pants and panties.

He grabs your knees and pulls them apart. He wastes no time to lick up and down your folds. You become a moaning mess and grab onto his hair. He pushes two fingers inside of you and sucks your clit. Being his for a while now, he knows what to do to you. Once he knows that you're about to finish, he pulls away.

"UGH! Babe!" You cry out.

He responds by lining himself up to you and pushing inside.

----

You're at Emily's because everyone is trying to calm down after everything. Bella and Edward are on their honeymoon, and Jacob isn't having it. Poor guy isn't even there to hang out.

"Y/n! I need your help!" Emily calls from the bathroom.

You get up from the couch and walk in there. She's just standing there.

"Yes?"

"Can you tell me if the bathroom stinks?" She asks.

"Uh? What? It smells like.. lemons. Why did you need my help?" You say confused.

"Okay! Great! Let's go back out there."

She opens the door, and you follow her out of the bathroom and into the living room. Embry is standing up, and everyone else is sitting around. You see Rachel has her phone out recording.

"What's going on?" You ask.

Embry takes your hands and looks into your eyes. "I love you so much. I'm so happy to take care of you and have you. You are so gentle, funny, and sweet, and you're a sexy rocker." He chuckles.

Your heart pounds, and you realize what's going on. Before he even says anything else, you smile, and tears threaten to fall.

Embry smiles and takes your face in his hands. "I'm going to cry if you do." His eyes water just a tad.

He bends down on one knee and pulls out a coffin ring box. He opens the top and the prettiest ring is presented to you.

"Y/n, will you marry me?" He looks up st you, hopeful. He sniffles a bit.

"Yes." You say softly, and tears start to fall.

Everyone cheers and embry stands up, puts the ring on your finger, and then hugs you tightly.

"Oh my God, I love you." He breathes out in your neck.

"I love you, too, Embry." You rub his back.

----

"I can't believe I'm doing this." Embry laughs while the tattoo gun vibrates his chest.

You sit in the chair beside him, feeling the ink embedding in your skin.

"These are so cute. I'm jealous." The girl tattooing you says.

"My wife and I have matching tats, too. It's super fun and meaningful getting these." The guy doing Embry's says.

"I know! I'm so excited!" You squeak.

"Damn, dude. Your tattoo is... how is it healing? I'm confused." The tattoo artist asks Embry.

"I'm not sure. My other one did this, too." Embry plays it off.

"Well, at least you know it'll heal well." He smiles up at him.

You gasp in the mirror. "It's so fucking cute!" You giggle.

Embey stands next to you and observes his. "I feel badass." He snorts.

You lean up and kiss his cheek. "Thank you, baby."

----

"No! You're not going!" You scream at Embry who is trying not to cry.

"I have to! It's my duty!" He takes a step closer to you.

"No! Fuck this. You're staying here. I don't give a shit about a fucking demon baby, I don't care! You're going to die in that battle!" You scream and sob.

"Baby, I won't. I'm strong and I promise to come home-" , he reaches to grab you but you push him off.

He stands there in shock at what you did. He blinks a few times.

"WHAT HAPPENED TO FORGETTING?" You scream.

"I meant it. I didn't know this would happen."

"Embry Call. You're hurting me." You cry.

-----

You stare out blankly from the kitchen table. It's been days. You've barely functioned. You know Kim and Rachel are in the same boat. Emily has been keeping it inside, but you know she is just as afraid.

Your eyes finally move to the window, and you see it's dark out. You don't remember what time you sat down at the table. You haven't eaten.

A knock on the door startles you. It's just Emily. She's been checking on you, Kim, and Rachel. You stand up and open the door.

It's him.

He looks up from the ground, and his eyes pierce into yours. "I kept my word."

"Embry!" You scream and start crying. You jump onto him, and he holds you tightly. He kicks the door shut and brings you into the bedroom. He plops you down onto the bed and looks down at you.

"I see your face, and I know I'm alive." He quotes Deftones.