#im now an avid member of the

[lcvclywon]

can you see me i'm waiting for the right time?

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synopsis ᯓ Kim woonhak. You've had the biggest crush on him for as long as you can remember. Despite being a year younger than you he never failed to catch your eye whether it be his guitar skills or photography. You had come to terms with the fact that your silly school girl crush would never be reciprocated, but when he suddenly joins yearbook committee your fate might change. As you two grow closer you find it hard to contain your feelings, but then again, there was never really a right time to tell him.

now playing > •၊၊||၊|။||||| 0:10 bags - clairo

warnings ˎˊ˗ errrr kinda open ending, skinship, cursing, yn is kinda a lewserrrrr, angst if you squint, idk anything else so lmk!

thoughts frm yuya💭 first bnd fic heheheheh had to write for my pookie woonhak ! also im procrastinating on my jay fic its still at 18k i apologize. but also this is super duper self indulgent hahahahah my queen juni only knows of that 😁 but anyways HOPE YOU ENJOY! lmk if you would like more bnd fics ^^

“Everyone please welcome the school band!” your principal announced before moving off the stage so that the auditorium could get a better view of the musicians. 

And that’s when you saw him. 

Kim Woonhak. 

He stood there, guitar in hand and strumming along to whatever melody the lead singer was belting out. But in all honesty you couldn’t really focus on the music, well other than the guitar solo, because your eyes were too stuck on Kim Woonhak. And in that moment, you swore you were what the poets could only describe as: lovestruck.

That was in sophomore year and since then you really couldn’t get over your crush on Woonhak. Slowly but surely you learnt more and more about him: you learnt that he just transferred to your highschool from the bustling streets of seoul, you learnt that he was a year younger than you, that he was an avid football enjoyer, and that he had absolutely no clue who you were at all.

In all honesty however you really weren’t trying to do anything about your small crush either, you were perfectly content with admiring him from afar. Partly because of the fact that if you were in a situation where you had to speak with him you feared you would only fumble over your words. It’s not like Woonhak was scary or intimidating, actually it was the complete opposite; contrary to his bandmates Woonhak was one of the most approachable members of the group. Yet every time there was an opportunity to speak to him you stumbled over each phrase leaving your mouth. 

But it’s okay, it’s not like Woonhak even liked you back. 

“Hi, is this the yearbook club?” How come that voice sounds so familiar? 

Turning around you were met with a sight that you truly weren’t ready for “It’s Kim Woonhak, from uh class 11B! I was hoping to sign up” ah…so that’s why. 

“Oh nice to meet you, YN is the leader so talk to her about joining- er she’s right over there!” curse you Yeji. 

“Hey YN right?” he said before quickly tapping your shoulder. Regaining your composure you cleared your throat before turning around to face him, said composure you just regained suddenly seemed to melt away in an instant the moment he flashed that toothy grin at you. 

“Oh uh- yeah yeah…” smooth YN, real smooth. 

“I was wondering if you guys had a photographer yet? I know your head of the editorial team so I assumed you would know..” 

“Oh we um, we actually don’t-” 

“Oh that’s perfect! Well I mean, not perfect for you guys obviously, but uh- I was hoping I could work on leading photography this year?” oh and he’s multitalented, great. 

“I didn’t know you did photography” you mumbled whilst typing away on your laptop to add his name to the yearbook committee

“Oh I don’t really talk about it a lot, but it’s just a casual hobby you know” his hand reached for the nape of his neck as his gaze averted down to the floor

“Ah that’s nice,” you replied absentmindedly “well you’re now a part of the team so uh, I’ll email you the pictures we need soon…”

“Great thanks YN!” fuck, there was that smile. “I’ll get going now, I’ve got band practice..but it was great speaking to you! Promise I won’t disappoint you leader.” he added with a playful giggle while mock saluting, you couldn’t really control your face when a slight smile appeared across your face. 

“Oooh someone’s not over him I see…” Yeji chirped up the moment he left the room, the smile on your face immediately dropping before you turned away to pack away your belongings

“What are you talking about Yeji, we said like 3 things to each other…”

“Three things are enough for me to know that you definitely aren’t over that guy!” 

“Okay first off,” you started before finally zipping up your backpack “We were just having a friendly conversation, nay not even friendly considering it was for work.” slinging your blue backpack over your shoulder you added “second off, I didn’t even have a huge crush on him. All I said was he’s cute, and that was like what- sophomore year? It’s been a year, it was nothing seriously..” yeah you weren’t even buying your own lame excuse 

“Mhm, sure…I know you still like him!” She called out as you were halfway out the door, earning nothing but a slam in the face from you leaving.

“Hey YN?” 

You immediately shot your head up from the peaceful nap you were having, Kim Woonhaks voice immediately snapping you out of your dreamlike state. Looking up at him with dazed eyes and thought still admittedly fogging up your brain you could only utter out “What- huh?”

“Oh sorry did I wake you?” he replied, his tone was a mixture of what you could assume to be a wince and giggle combined into one

“Um kinda,” you reached over to rub your hazy eyes before staring back up at him “What’s up Woonhak?” 

“Could you look over these pictures I took of yesterday’s sport festival, I’m not sure if they’re alright or not-” handing you his camera you couldn’t shake off the feeling of his hand grazing yours as you reached over 

Shaking your head in hopes to rid the burning sensation firing through your arm you diligently looked over the snapshots he took, nodding slightly in approval at each one. “These look great Woonhak, thank you.” you finally commented before handing him back his camera. Standing up from your desk you were amidst packing up before he jumped in to add “Ah um sorry there’s one more thing I need to do…”

“Hm?” 

“When taking the yearbook committee’s photo I didn’t realise my SD card wasn’t loaded up so I kinda didn’t get to save any of the pictures I took…I got everyone else’s photo I just need yours” he explained whilst holding up his camera 

“Oh wait like- right now?” when else YN you idiot

“Yeah I guess…” 

“Ah okay,” you replied before walking over to the nearest blank white wall in sight “Is this okay?”

“Yep perfect, just hold that pose for me…” he trailed off whilst snapping a few photos “How are these?” walking over you examined each photo he took closely, not minding how his face was a few mere inches from yours as you did so.

“Aw wait I look so bad in these-” you whined out, slightly embarrassed that you looked this dishevelled in front of him 

“What no what do you mean, you look pretty” he mumbled under his breath, obviously not noticing the red hue that flushed over your face the moment he uttered that. Becoming all too aware of the heat creeping up your cheeks you backed away slowly before muttering “I guess it’s fine then…”

“Alright then, thanks YN! I guess I’ll get going now..” wait fuck was he going already? YN come on say something, say anything! Ask him to hangout later, ask him something about himself, talk to him, he’s right there what are you waiting for? 

“Hey Woonhak-”

“Oh hm?” his head immediately perking up at your voice 

And in that moment, the moment his eyes met yours, it seemed all the words died on the very tip of your tongue “Ah it’s nothing, uh just remember to send me the pictures later you know?” 

“Ahh gotchu gotchu, I’ll make sure to do that! Bye YN” and in that moment you wanted nothing more than to call out his name to stop him from leaving, but you didn’t.

Great YN. 

Come on YN, you can do this. He’s just a guy, you’ve spoken to guys before, who cares? It’s not a big deal just go in and-

“Oh YN is that you?” ah shit.

Letting out a loud sigh you cleared your throat before creaking the door of the music studio room open to peek your head through “Hi Woonhak, er is this a bad time?” you asked after seeing how you unknowingly interrupted his guitar practice 

“Oh no, It’s fine, come in!” rushing to put down his guitar he pounced up and briskly walked over to the door to allow you in 

“Ah I just came to say some of the files got corrupted when you sent them to me so I was wondering if you could send them to me again” you said before timidly stepping into the studio, carefully examining the sheet music he was playing 

“Oh yeah no problem,” he seemed to catch onto how your eyes scanned through the sheets of paper and how your hands travelled across the metallic strings of his guitar, “Do you um- do you play?” 

“Oh what?” your tone was jumpy, suddenly flustered at the question “ah no no, not really…I mean I kinda do play, but I’m not very good. I’m still really bad…” you trailed off, gaze still directed to the sheet music 

“Do you want to try playing?” his hand now reaching over to hand the guitar to you 

“Ah I only know I few songs though-” still you timidly took the instrument in hand and began strumming a few open chords whilst singing in a barely audible tone; woonhak still caught it though, and you could tell as he swayed his head side to side to the melody. 

“I’m still um,” you finally said after finishing playing, “I’m really bad” you couldn’t help but add a nervous chuckle to the end of that sentiment, you expected him to laugh and agree in response but instead he just said “Don’t say that, there’s always room for improvement.” before standing up to sit himself down next to you. 

“Do you want me to teach you how to play, I was just practising and I’m sure you can get the hang of it” you can’t help but feel your pupils dilate and blood to rush up your cheeks before hesitantly nodding

As he guided you through the chords of the song you couldn’t help but hold your breath as his face was a mere few inches away from yours, you couldn’t help but feel your heartbeat out of your chest as his hands held your fingers to adjust it accordingly to the notes, you couldn’t help but stutter nervously every time you asked if you were playing the right chord to which he only responded with a reassuring nod and gentle grin.

“Look at that you’re a natural!” he exclaimed the moment you finished the song

“Well it was only thanks to your help, do you have any tips to improve?” you asked trying to continue the conversation, this was the one time you actually had the guts to speak to Woonhak and you were not going to fumble

“I guess just improvise a lot, also try and practise scales since those are super helpful as well…actually most electric guitar songs are built on scales so once you’ve got those down you can pretty much play a ton of electric guitar songs!” suddenly pausing he reached to the nape of his neck before sheepishly mumbling “ah sorry I’m rambling, I probably sound like a huge music nerd right now…” 

“No, It’s cute that you’re passionate!” oh, for once your mind seemed to run faster than your mouth. 

Suddenly perking his head up to meet your equally shocked gaze he let out a nervous chuckling before mumbling something you could only assume was thank you. The silence in the room becoming all too overwhelming you cleared your throat slightly before stuttering out “Uh well, thanks for the impromptu lesson Woonhak- I’ve got some yearbook work to finish up so I think I’ll get going…” you didn’t really wait for his response before briskly leaving the room, face still flushed with embarrassment. 

The next few weeks consisted of more interactions with Woonhak than you’ve had the entire two years you’ve attended the same highschool as him. It wasn’t anything big: a simple wave across the hallway as you passed by each other, small talk in yearbook committee meetings, the occasional music sessions together in the band room, it was fun. It was really nothing, but you cherished those fleeting few moments you had with him. Over time you came to the conclusion that the relationship between you and woonhak would stay this way, acquaintances. So imagine the whiplash you got when he approached you at your lunch table through the crowd of people. 

“Hey YN!” he chirped out, cheery as every 

Slightly coughing on your yakult from surprise you gathered yourself before replying a bit too quickly with “Oh Woonhak! Hi- uh what’s up?”

“Oh I had something to give you,” carefully he pulled out a small tupperware container of bright red fruit from his bag, placing it in front of you “they’re strawberries! It’s from my grandma's garden actually-” 

Startled by the sudden kind gesture you could only stare at the container with your mouth slightly agape, “Oh what, thank you wow- uh what’s the occasion?”

“Oh I heard you complaining the other day to Yeji how the canteen only ever gives you 2 strawberries each. So I thought you would like some extra!” he answered, hand extending to open the container for you 

“Oh wait you really didn’t have to-”

“I wanted to don’t worry!” He had to stop doing that. 

Before you could answer you were cut off by someone shouting his name from across the lunch room; a slightly older boy, hair hazelnut brown and arm slung across one of his other friends. “Hey Kim Woonhak, stop being Romeo and come back to eat!” 

You observed how Woonhak rolled his eyes in annoyance before grunting out a response back to his friend. “Sorry, Jaehyun hyung is calling- Uh hope you enjoy though!” he didn’t really give you a chance to respond before rushing back to his table, earning a shove in the shoulder from one of his other friends. 

Looking down at the fruit you couldn’t help but smile to yourself before savouring the sweet taste when you bit down on one. However your moment of solitude was short lived as your friends approached the table in a giggling storm.

“Oooh what was that hm? Finally making some progress with loverboy?” Yeji teased before sitting down next to you, helping herself to one of the juicy berries 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” you deadpanned, voice slightly muffled from the fruit in your mouth 

“I didn’t even know YN was close too Woonhak like that” Lia added whilst poking at her rice 

“We’re not that close, we’re just friends you know? We work on the yearbook together so…”

“Well best not to get too close I guess,” Ryujin commented in between spoonfuls of soup “I heard he’s leaving in a couple of weeks, something about his parents wanting him to go back to Seoul for the family business? I don’t know-”

Everything stopped, you tried to play it cool and ignore the dreadful feeling simmering in the pits of your stomach but you really couldn’t stop a small frown forming across your face after hearing the news. 

“Oh I heard he likes some girl in his class too, he was gonna confess to her on his last day or something? Jo Yuri I think that’s what her name was” Chaeryeong added nonchalantly, clearly not noticing how your head dipped down more and more as the conversation went on. Suddenly you weren’t so hungry. 

“I uh-” you stood up and began packing away your things “I think I’m gonna get a head start on yearbook work today” 

“Wait YN are you okay?” Yeji asked, clearly concerned 

“Yeah I’m fine! I just have a lot to do today that’s all-” you attempted to sound carefree, even throwing in a slight chuckle. But your friends obviously weren’t buying it, so instead you just rushed out of the canteen. But not before sneaking a glance at woonhak: seeing how carefree and happy he looked with his friends, how sweet his gaze was and how cheerful his toothy grin was. But also noticing how his table was right next to Yuri’s, fun. 

Well it’s not like you had a chance anyways, guess that just solidifies it. 

“Woonhak?” creeping into the yearbook club room you peered over at his sleeping figure on the table, god why did he have to look so peaceful sleeping. 

Walking over to the table he was dozing off on you situated yourself next to him allowing yourself to lay down as well to face him carelessly snoozing off. Chuckling a bit to yourself at the sight you allowed yourself to gingerly run your hands through his hair, well it’s not like he was awake to notice it. 

“This is so stupid…” you sighed out to yourself 

“I really could have had a chance to confess to you if I had just talked sooner, but now you’re leaving in a few weeks and I’m kinda hopeless. I really do wish I talked to you after your first performance that one day at school, god you looked so cool…I don’t even know why you make me so nervous” your fingers traced over the crinkled fabric on his shoulders, not really caring if he responded 

“Well I don’t think I had a chance in the first place did I?” you rambled on “Yuri is sweet, I’m happy as long as you’re happy you know…but I just wish it was me. I just wish you liked me as much as I liked you, I wish you got nervous the same way I do when I’m around you. I wish I spoke to you earlier. But I doubt that would change anything, I’m still just YN…the one senior you work with for yearbook, nothing else.” 

Realising how immensely self loathing and pathetic this whole situation was you slowly pushed in your stool in hopes not to wake him and tip-toed out the room. But amidst this you failed to notice how the tip of Woonhak’s ears turned pink, you failed to notice the incessant thumping of his heart, you failed to notice how his cheeks burned a bright pink, you failed to notice how Kim Woonhak was awake this whole time. 

Stumbling into the auditorium you squeezed yourself into one of the chairs arranged in rows, squished against other students like a pack of sardines. Weeks passed and you hadn’t really spoken to Woonhak ever since learning he was leaving soon, you really weren’t looking to get too attached (not like you already weren’t). But before you knew it, it was the last day of school and you wouldn’t be seeing Woonhak for a long long time. However, you’ve learned to come to terms with this fact, it’s not like you weren’t already distancing yourself from him to prepare for it. 

“Hello everyone!” Jaehyun's voice bellowed through the speakers, snapping you out of your thought process. “Today is actually one of our band member’s last days. Our Woonhak is off to Seoul soon so he requested this special song! Hope you enjoy it!” 

They then began to play a melody you felt was far too familiar, but then it hit you. It was the song Woonhak was teaching you before in the music room. Ah shit. You tried to focus on what the other members were playing or singing but your eyes always managed to drift towards Woonhak. You really couldn’t help but have a slight melancholy feeling brewing in your stomach as you realised this would be your last day seeing him. The moment felt all too bittersweet but seeing him so happy on stage performing brought out a smile. It was the same smile you had when first seeing him, when he entered the yearbook club room for the first time, when he taught you guitar, and when you confessed to him. It was a smile only Woonhak could bring out. 

And as if he was peering into your thoughts Woonhak glanced up from his guitar and looked straight at you. His warm honey gaze met yours, eyes shaped like crescents as he adorned his signature toothy grin. For once though, you didn’t pull away first. Your eyes lay fixated on his as you smiled back. Perhaps it was because you finally got close enough to woonhak to do so, or maybe because you knew this would be the last time you could truly look into that flutter inducing gaze of his. Eitherways, you knew you would regret it if you pulled away. So you didn’t. You didn’t stop looking until the performance was over and each member bowed, but even then his stare remained on you. 

As the performance ended students began flooding out the auditorium, you doing the same, but that was until you felt a hand wrap around your wrist. Jolting back you were met with Woonhak’s sincere expression facing you, an expression you felt slightly uneasy about. 

“Hey YN, can we talk?” he said, pulling you back a bit away from the crowd

“Oh uhm what’s up?”

“So uh,” Woonhak’s hand reached towards the back of his head as he pulled a bit at his hair, he was acting uncharacteristically shy. “I’m leaving after today, well I guess you knew that- but yeah uh it was fun um…it was fun working with you!”

“Thanks Woonhak, it was fun working with you too.” your words were poignant as they left your tongue 

“I uh, I’ll miss you.” oh.

“Oh, I'll uh- I’ll miss you too Woonhak…” you were about to continue your sentence until the bell cut you off, signalling students to return to their respective classes “I should get going- you did great today though seriously! Keep doing what you’re doing, your smile’s always the brightest in every room.” you continued, backing away slowly to the auditorium gates 

“It’s reciprocated!” Woonhak called out

“What?” Were you hearing things?

“I like you too YN!” oh. 

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[mins-fins]

orbit of yours !

"power couple, really?" "you have to listen to me!"

synopsis: park jisung has always admired you. hardworking, effortlessly beautiful, talented, humble— you're pretty much the personification of the word 'perfect' (you would disagree though), but your relationship has never gotten past "admirers that occasionally exchange words", so jisung has vanquished the idea of possibly being in love with you because of your lack of interactions, he's just an avid admirer of yours! so when a few accidents and mishaps force (more like drive) the two of you to be in the same room more than you ever had in the past, the idea doesn't just remain a random fantasy crafted by jisung's mind, it becomes reality.

pairing: park jisung x male!reader

genre: high school au, acquaintances to friends to lovers, photographer!reader x soccer player!jisung, fluff, kinda comedy (im not funny), mutual pining, literally no angst, fast burn lowkey, sungchan helps reader realize his feelings and it's hilarious

warnings: swearing, mentions of burnout, oblivious bitches deny their feelings for a good 10k words, this is fucking cheesy, the nightmare which is senior year

word count: 12.2k

notes: GOOD LORD IT IS FINALLY DONE! i don't wanna be overdramatic or anything but this is genuinely one of my most favorite works ever, if you couldn't tell i am VERY jisung biased and im so happy to finally be done with this because it's honestly been so fun to write 🙁 i didn't beat the xiaojun fic in terms of words but this the second longest fic i have ever written and for my jisung debut its impressive that there is absolutely NO ANGST here, i'm just very proud of myself for this and i hope people like reading it as much as i enjoyed writing it.. this is for all the park jisung lovers 👍

"WHEN WILL YOU ACTUALLY GET A PARTNER?" chenle asks the question so many times that jisung assumes the sentence has been programmed into his brain. what is it— like the 3rd time this week? he thinks chenle might be more obsessed with his love life than he is with actual important things, like college, graduation preparations, his role as a member of the student council, anything but jisung's uneventful love life, because that was probably the least interesting thing going on in his own life at the moment. "come on jisungie! i heard aejung has a crush on you!" he lets out a familiar groan, giving his friends a 'cut it out' look. "i don't really care about that kind of stuff.."

he hears all the frustrated sighs from his friends, and jisung just chuckles. he knows about the many surprisingly many— people who find themselves attracted to him. he acknowledges the fact that he has a lot of admirers, that a lot of people would perceive themselves as lucky to be in a relationship with him, he isn't new to the idea at all, he doesn't really get what makes him so attractive, such an eyeopener to his fellow students, but he mostly accepts the gifts given to him by his so called "admirers" nonetheless, not wanting to make them disappointed.

now, he says mostly because there are just times where he has no choice but to turn them down. some people get into their own heads too much, and he doesn't want to give some of them false hopes by accepting their gifts. that happened once, where a girl thought the two of them were dating because he decided to accept her gift as a sign of appreciation, that's when jisung learned that he couldn't just accept any and all gifts given to him by admirers who so greatly wanted a chance with him. jisung isn't so concerned about gifts, he wants a person who will be psychically and emotionally present for him, not someone who'll just buy him random things.

"it's gotten a little annoying.. all the confessions" jisung mutters, closing the textbook he had been jotting in. "they're nice yeah but some people just take it too far" he finally finishes, earning some confused looks from his friends. he just shrugs, shoving the textbook he had previously been jotting in into his backpack.

"but you're just so boring!" chenle whines, pressing his cheek against jisung's shoulder. jisung doesn't even try shaking him off, knowing that any of his attempts will be useless. "come on! all these people who would love to be with you and your still a lonely little loser!"

"loser? oh come on!"

"you know i'm right!"

jisung scoffs, lightly shoving chenle. while yeah, it's nice to have a lot of people admire him, everyone expects him to do this and that and act a certain way. it's like they enjoy perpetuating a false image onto him rather than actually admiring him for who he really is, and jisung doesn't think he should give people like that the time of day, they piss him off more than anything.

he's a little lost in his thought when a familiar voice sounds in his ears, a couple of giggles following the sound. "you're too funny y/n!" one of them shouted, poking a familiar figure in the shoulder, and jisung's eyes fall on you immediately, as if on instinct. you were looking as you always did, a familiar dslr camera hanging from your neck, that polite smile on your face as your friend continues poking your shoulder.

lately, you'd been quite the topic of interest among your fellow schoolmates. now that's not abnormal at all, you somehow always manage to be the talk of the town in school, you could do the smallest thing and somehow people could still make huge talk about it.

jisung would never say it, not out loud or even in mutters to himself, but he's always held a unique admiration for you, one he doesn't think he could actually put into words. there's something about you that pulls jisung in, like your a magnet and he's an oblivious piece of metal, slowly getting closer and closer to you without being able to do anything about it.

everything about you is beautiful. your eyes are a beautiful brown color, your smile is a beautiful stretch that shows off your perfect white teeth, your hair is a beautiful mix of raven and brunette. oh, and your voice is so beautiful too, it's so soft, gentle, but also deep.

you're like an angel.

at least to jisung you are.

it's pretty funny, actually, your so wrapped up in your own things that you barely notice the sheer amount of people who want to date you. you don't acknowledge romantic advances a lot, and even when you do, it always ends in rejection. you talk a lot, and your words are always pure and witty, your laughter is natural, your smile is contagious.

but.. jisung doesn't like you. he only likes you in the friend kinda way, he just wants to be friends with you. you look nice! smell nice, dress nice, speak nice..

jisung knows a lot more about you than his friends do. despite the fact that the two of you have never officially deemed yourselves "friends", he's always known little facts about you, as you him. the two of you have been going to school together for seven years, so the idea of not knowing anything about each other seems ridiculous.

you're a photographer, your favorite color is blue, specifically lighter shades, your favorite subject is history, your lucky number is 2 because of your birthdate being 02/02/02, your favorite flowers are daisies, you don't really enjoy sports, but if you were to choose one to play, it'd be baseball, and you want to go to college for journalism.

but jisung can't say that he likes you, because even if you two know all these things about each other, you've never considered yourselves "friends", all you do is admire from afar—

and when you do interact, it's just short and sweet sentences exchanged between you two, mostly because the both of you are so busy, that you can't afford to just stop and talk. sometimes, jisung wishes his life was just a little less hectic and he could stop and talk to you, because that's what he wants to do.

"what's with you?" jisung immediately yelps as chenle flicks his forehead, and he resists the urge to punch the older in the face. "gawking at y/n? really?"

"i'm not—" jisung hates that he feels his face burn. "i'm not gawking, i'm just.. i was just looking at him".

"looking at him with hearts in your eyes".

jisung scoffs at chenle's audacity, as if he wasn't doing exactly that a good few minutes ago. he would never admit it out loud before, so why should he admit it now? he'd never live it down if anybody ever found out..

"you know.." chenle begins, tapping his finger onto the desk in front of him. "you two would be a great couple" and the words are enough to make jisung roll his eyes once again. "a power couple!"

"power couple, really?" jisung raises an eyebrow, chenle never fails to say something that confuses him. he finds the words to be ridiculous, but his reaction just seems to make chenle even more giddy, because he continues;

"you have to listen to me!" chenle persists, and jisung is about to check out of the conversation completely.

"y/n is a photographer for sports journalism, you play soccer, you've known each for what.. ever? he's pretty, you clearly have the hots for him—"

"i do not!" jisung immediately yells in rebuttal, much louder than he wanted to. "yeah he's.. cute but anyone with eyes can see that, i'm not in love with him or anything".

chenle raises an eyebrow, suspicious, but jisung remains stubborn, crossing his arms as he averts his gaze from his best friend.

yes, you are cute, anybody with two functioning eyes can see that.

"i think park jisung might have a crush on you".

at the words, you look up from your camera, meeting eyes with your close friend, sungchan. you blink, as if dumbfounded, then snicker. "park jisung? are you trying to boost my ego or something?"

you know park jisung, you know about how probably half the students in this room dream of having a chance with him. so many people like park jisung, so many people want park jisung.

and if you think about it, you can't exactly blame them for that..

"don't laugh! i'm serious! he looked like he was about to devour you, did you see his eyes!?"

the words just get another laugh out of you, the words seem ridiculous in your eyes, because why would park jisung, beautiful, talented, striking park jisung have a crush on you? in your eyes, your pretty much nothing to him.

"okay.. why would park jisung ever be interested in me?" you ask, rearranging your camera as you raise an eyebrow at sungchan, who simply deadpans at you, that familiar 'are you serious?' look in his eyes.

"okay let me see, your smart, pretty, everyone likes you at this point, also— the two of you are pretty much perfect for each other! you'd be a power couple!"

you furrow your eyebrows, a power couple? you'd never heard that phrase used to talk about somebody your friends had been "shipping" you with, your not even sure if you can even consider yourself friends with jisung, because the two of you can never actually talk to each other without someone coming up and interrupting the interaction.

you'd love to just be able to talk to park jisung, just the two of you, one on one.

"power couple? that's funny.."

"you think everything is funny" ironically, you laugh at your friends words. "this could be like— your only chance at having an actual romantic connection with someone".

"i don't care that much about romance, chan" you muse, humming as you turn off your camera. your eyes wander over to jisung, who is very much distracted by something stupid chenle is saying, he's laughing about something, laughing hard too.

there is no reason for him to look so pretty as he laughs like a maniac..

he's cute, you say in your mind, he is absolutely adorable.

"WHAT DID YOU GUYS GET ON THAT STATISTICS TEST FOR SONG?" a boy from the same year and member of the soccer team along with jisung inquired. they sat on the bleachers in front of field, watching as the baton club practices. they have to practice this week, unfortunately, so jisung's schedule had become tight and packed, he barely had any free time these days, it was all exams, college tours, last minute extracurriculars, and practice, practice, practice. "i got a b plus" one of his classmates responds, the other responded; "i got a b on mine". jisung was very far removed from the current conversation, his eyes on a familiar trio of sports journalists on the other side of the field, a trio which included you, mesmerizing you. he sees you often these days, with that same dslr camera around your neck, a pretty smile stuck on your face.

"you, jisung! what score did you get?" one of his classmates asks, but jisung was occupied, so he didn't answer. a tap on his shoulder makes jisung snap out of his staring fit, and he blinks a few times, assessing where he is. "what?"

"we were asking about the marks on the recent statistics test!"

"ah" jisung presses his lips together. "i got an a plus" he says the words casually, but it causes for a cheer to be sounded by his fellow classmates, who shook him and slapped his back supportively.

"you're so smart jisungie!"

the praise from his classmates get a smile out of jisung, but he isn't focusing on that, his attention is on you. even with how your across the field, he can clearly see all of your features, the sun shining on your face makes you look majestic, like an actual angel, jisung isn't sure why he's even focusing so much on your face, but he can't focus on anything else, because his eyes just naturally always wander over to you.

"will this ever finish?" you inquire, pertaining to the baton club, who were still on the field even after they were supposed to get off. "i'm supposed to take photos of the soccer players for my editorials.." you mutter, it'd be horrible if you couldn't even deliver on the promise you made to your superiors.

"they're probably going to split the field" your fellow sports journalist, taehyun says. a small groan escapes your lips, you're annoyed, you hope this doesn't interfere with the photos you have to take, it'd be horrible if you just ended up doing the same thing all over again. "see? baton club is taking one side and the soccer team takes the main area because they need to start practicing now".

"they look so cute! i've always wanted to be apart of the soccer team!" lee sohee exclaims, and you turn towards him, a look of interest on your face. he attentively watches the boys, humming to the song that's playing. "why didn't you join them then?" you inquire, interest peaked.

sohee smiles at you, readjusting his camera and fixing his posture. "i enjoyed writing the editorial articles more" he shrugs. "wanted to try out but i missed the tryouts because eunseok hyung would have killed me if i missed anton's recital" at the words, you laugh, used to the behavior from the older boy.

"maybe next year".

"you'd fit in perfectly!" taehyun muses, and sohee brightens up, seemingly loving the words.

"really!? that's what seunghan tells me too!" he cheers at the words, looking proud of himself. "i'd look cute in that uniform though.."

you chuckle at sohee's word, finding him to be absolutely adorable. "yeah, you definitely would" you ruffle his hair, smiling at the giggle which sounds from the boy.

"i'm gonna go get a closer look at them" you say, motioning towards the soccer team. taehyun nods and watches as you get closer to the field, not super close, but close enough that your camera can capture a good view of the soccer team. you narrow your eyes, pointing your camera at the busy boys who are doing their usual routine, the viewfinder shows jisung in all his glory.

you take pictures, zooming in and out. you don't mean to put all the focus on jisung, he's just too alluring to not be the center of attention. he's such a natural, he's just so amazing, you can't not focus on him.

[click.]

and another shot, another one as jisung scores the goal. jisung's posture was perfect, his back straight, chin high as he wore an angelic smile. jisung hears the clicking of the camera, and looks to his left to see you, in the viewfinder you see jisung looking in your direction, you pause for a moment and notice a baton heading straight towards him.

"jisung watch out!" you yell, at the words, he tilts his head.

you quickly take the strap of the camera off your neck, throwing it until it landed right beside your fellow journalists, who looked as confused as jisung did. you ran as fast as you could, grabbing jisung's wrist and pulling him close to you.

the baton managed to hit the ground instead, and jisung shrieks as he loses his balance, toppling forward. he quickly grabs onto the closest thing to him.

you.

you lowered your arms to catch jisung, and you feel him hold onto the sleeves of your blazer, one of your arms on his stomach, the other on his waist. all his weight was in your arms, causing for you to lose balance too.

"shit—" you swear, falling onto your back. jisung fell on top of you, the grass tickling his skin. your back immediately hits the grass, and your head hits the ground softly, but your arms remain around jisung. jisung's hands were still on your arms, his upper body laid on top of yours, his head was buried into your shoulder, and he was sat in between your legs.

jisung takes a sharp breath, a look of worry quickly flashes in his eyes as he sees you. "holy shit y/n are you okay!?" jisung asks, pulling away from your prior position and you sit up, opening your eyes to meet his worried ones. jisung kneels, leaning closer to you as he cups your cheeks with his hands. "did you get hurt? is your head okay!?" he asks, or yells, turning your head to inspect for any signs of wounds. you just stare at him, his bangs that messily lay against his forehead, his eyes that glimmered under the sunlight, and his pink lips that you totally just want to lean over and touch with your own.

"yeah.." you whisper, your cheeks squished from the force of jisung's hands.

jisung stops turning your head and sighs. "are you sure?" he asks, still holding your face. you nod, placing one of your hands on jisung's, his are soft, yours are rough, you note. you move his hand and smile. "i'm alright don't worry" you respond, still holding jisung's hand. jisung pursues his lips, and he extends his hand out, pulling you up from the ground. you let go of his hand, dusting off your pants.

"jesus y/n" taehyun's voice sounds from behind you, and you finally glance away from jisung, eyes focused on your friend. "are you okay? your not injured are you?"

"i'm fine.." you mumble again, blinking as taehyun suddenly hands you your camera. ah, he'd picked it up for you. you take it, inspecting it to make sure it's not broken.

"is the camera okay?" jisung inquires, looking over your shoulder to stare at it.

luckily, it wasn't damaged because it had fallen on the soft grass. "it's still working" you respond, and the two boys beside you let out a sigh of relief, with taehyun placing a hand on his chest.

"jisung! come back here!" his coach quickly yells, jisung looks to you, then back to his teammates. "thanks, i owe you" he says before running back towards his group, fetching the soccer ball he'd left on the ground prior.

"wow your like a hero!" sohee exclaims, shaking your shoulder with a smile. you just let out a nervous laugh, scratching your arm. you give one last glance at jisung before you feel your face heat up excessively, so you quickly turn away, putting your camera back around your neck.

"we should go back in now" you say, you don't say any more words as you quickly make your way towards the doors. your friends blink, exchanging glances in confusion, but they quickly follow you back inside.

"y/n! wait up!"

jisung watches you three leave, feeling his heart racing against his chest.

what the hell just happened? he asks himself.

"jisung are you okay!?" a very familiar voice shrieks. jisung turns to meet his fellow teammate jooyeon, looking concerned as ever.

"i'm alright, thanks for asking" he answers, gaze lowering down to his nails, which he quickly starts picking.

"are you sure? you looked like you hit your head pretty hard" the younger boy, as always, just wants to make sure jisung isn't lying, he's genuine like that. he pokes jisung's forehead, as if he was inspecting him.

"seriously, i'm fine" jisung lowers his hand, giving him his default 'i'm okay' smile. "y/n cushioned the blow anyway.."

"you were so close to him!" jisung startles as keum donghyun comes out of nowhere. "how did it feel? was it like a dream come true?"

"i—" jisung is speechless, he closes his mouth and blinks a good seven times before even actually assessing the question.

how did it feel?

jisung doesn't know how to express it. he didn't want to think about it in that way because you'd just done such a good deed, you saved him from flying metal going straight towards his head, he shouldn't have been thinking about the lack of distance between you two, he shouldn't have been staring at your lips, and he shouldn't have been thinking about kissing you.

his face must be so unbearably red right now.

"don't ask that! it was just very abrupt.. also, i can't think of him like that! he saved me from a flying baton, i'm just grateful for him".

jooyeon hums in agreement, slapping donghyun's shoulder for him ever asking such a thing. "that's right, you should probably get him a token of appreciation or something".

jisung blinks, trying to imagine what he should ever gift you. he truly has no idea, he's not sure if he should go over and beyond, or just give you a little gift as to not intimidate you. "i can't really think of anything, i don't want to overwhelm him or something, he just wanted to do a nice thing.."

"i'm sure he'll be appreciative of anything!"

at the words, jisung just sighs, smiling.

what a hero, l/n y/n— you really are something, he thinks.

"yeah— i'll think about it".

"good! back to practice now!"

jisung doesn't think he will ever fully be able to focus on practice, though.

"YOU LOOK LIKE YOU'VE BEEN RAN OVER BY A TRAIN" the words from the older boy, yang jeongin, snap you out of your polaroid staring daze. you flinch just the slightest, eyes peeling away from the scattering pictures which litter your desk. you rub your eyes, clearing your throat as you quickly gather all of the photos on your desk, hoping the eye bags present on your face weren't completely obvious. knowing jeongin though, they were definitely obvious. "thanks for the kind words" you respond sarcastically, a small eye roll accompanying your words. the older boy snickers, situating himself beside you, a teasing smile on his face. he props his legs up, blinking at you. "seriously though, you look like you haven't slept in years, are you alright?"

"i'm as alright as someone looking to pursue journalism can be.." you mutter back, placing the photos which were previously on your desk into your backup, a small sigh escapes your lips. "all of my applications are still pending.."

"seriously? i assume you would've been accepted into any of those schools by now!"

"you know how it all goes, they get hundreds— heck, thousands of applications every day, i just have to be patient".

jeongin raises an eyebrow, then just shrugs at you, humming. "there's no need to worry, y/n, you'll get into a good school".

you chuckle at his words, he totally read your mind when it came to that. "i'm not worried about anything" you lie; "i'll be okay, i know".

but do you?

your absolutely tired the whole entire day, you tried your best to focus in your classes, but you couldn't help your head slipping down and the way you almost slipped off to dreamland whilst your teachers were asking you very much audible questions.

"did you sleep last night?" sungchan asks you in the middle of your afternoon break, poking your arm as if to wake up. "you look like a zombie.."

"i slept a few.. hours?" your tone is very much a questioning one, as if you didn't even believe your own words. "i don't know, i was too busy fighting with lin, apparently i'm not good enough at what i do to consider journalism".

paired with the lack of response to your several applications, you weren't having the best week, it was all becoming just a little too much for you.

graduation is just too far away..

"anyway! did you choose the photos you'll put in the editorial yet?"

you think, for a while. you felt as if you had stared at so many polaroids by this point, that they're probably going to start appearing in your dreams, with the lack of sleep, constant flashing of cameras and just news news news, you've really had no time to focus on other things.

"i haven't even found time to think about the editorial" you whine, a weary sigh escaping your lips as you think about how pissed off your higher up is gonna be if you almost miss the deadline once again. "is the deadline coming up?"

"well— is four days a close deadline for you?"

you gasp, loudly, almost throwing your camera across the hallway. "four days!? four days until the deadline seriously!?"

you usually aren't like this. you are usually very calm, cool, and collected, but your week has been just the definition of a shit storm, and everything just seems getting worse and worse.

"hey, it's okay!" sungchan immediately replies, hoping to reassure you. he places a hand on your shoulder, a smile coming to his face. "it's not like this is anything new, it'll all be fine, you only have to choose two pictures anyway".

you sigh, rubbing your temples. "yeah" you breath. "it'll be fine, fine" you repeat, nodding your head as you relax yourself.

the hallway is crowded, not crowded crowded, but crowded enough that you couldn't help but begin counting the heads around you.

your eyes get stuck on a familiar figure across the hall.

park jisung, smiling and laughing with his friends. you get lost in a trance of admiring him, even though you can clearly hear sungchan talking to you. all your attention is immediately on him, and a small smile spreads across your face as you observe him, being himself.

there is absolutely no reason for him to be so breathtaking while just talking with his friend!

you are so distracted, and you don't mean to get stuck in this little reverie as you stare at the boy that you totally do not have a crush on.

he hasn't really left your mind, instead of just floating around in there like he'd been before that whole prior incident, now he occupies a whole subsection of your mind in recent days. you could be with your other friends, and all of a sudden your mind would wander off to jisung, or you could be in class and he just pops into your head.

you never thought you'd be one to get distracted easily, but you've clearly been proven wrong by just the alluring aura of park jisung.

you startle when jisung turns your way, making eye contact with you. he smiles upon noticing you, his eyes practically lighting up, and he waves at you. your a little taken aback, but jisung doesn't wait to see you wave back, just turning back towards his friend and continuing his previous conversation.

"what was that?"

"what was what?"

you quickly look over at sungchan, who had just witnessed that whole entire scene. he looks at you like you just grew a second head, and your face begins to burn as the realization dawns on you.

"you and park jisung!?"

your quick to try and sputter out a response, but you shake your head, face excessively heating up, it's probably red at this very moment. "there is nothing going on between us!"

"that doesn't seem like nothing!"

you realize how guilty you look right now. with your red face and constant insistence that there is absolutely nothing going on, those are traits the guiltiest of people display, and it all just makes you look even more guilty with how your face gets even more red.

(you must look like you're dying right now).

"it's just a friendly exchange!"

"not while your looking at him with hearts in your eyes!"

he was completely calling you out, and he was right. you were staring at jisung like he was an angel that had graced your presence, you stare at him like he's a saint and everyone else doesn't matter, as if he's the only person in the room. "i— i wasn't! i was just zoned out and he just waved at me to say hi!"

sungchan narrows his eyes suspiciously at you, totally not buying it. "uh huh, sure" his voice conveys disbelief. "just know, i'm onto you y/n".

you nudge him in the shoulder, seriously wanting to change the topic. "yeah yeah whatever" you cross your arms as you mutter the words, you're sure if you take one more glance at jisung, you won't be able to look away, so you just clear your throat and walk the other way, face still red as sungchan teases you the whole entire time.

maybe if you glanced back, you'd see jisung watching as you left..

JISUNG WAS REALLY HOPING HE'D BE ABLE TO catch you before school dismissed. you two haven't genuinely had an actual talk since you saved him from the flying baton heading straight towards his head. all you two have done is give smiles, waves, and mutter small greetings to each other in the hallway. he had to admit, it upset him in just the slightest, because he really did want to just have a conversation with you (of course, he isn't exactly sure he'd be able to get through a conversation with you without blushing like a madman anyway), but your schedules just kept conflicting, so even catching a glimpse of you around the campus has become difficult for him to do.

he doesn't want to waste any opportunity he has in his hands—

"y/n!"

when jisung sees you across the hall, he realizes that he shouldn't take this chance for granted. you turn around at the call of your name, smiling as you see the others making his way towards you. jisung runs a hand through his hair, hoping he isn't making anything awkward. "jisung hi, do you need something?"

you smile politely at him, a smile so beautiful it seems like it could get rid of all the problems in the world. jisung loves your smile, he could stare at it for hours, is that creepy? he hopes it's not creepy..

"oh uh—" the words he'd been planning to say somehow get caught in his throat, but he clears his throat and proceeds. "i was wondering if i could walk you home?"

you blink, puzzled by the question. why would he want to walk you home? your mind begins to wander, trying to figure out why he'd want to do such a thing.

can't you just ask y/n? stop being an idiot..

"why?"

you don't mean for your words to come out that way, and you're almost afraid that you made jisung uncomfortable with your tone of voice, but he instead just smiles, squashing any of your bad thoughts. you love jisung's smile, you think it's underrated, so little people talk about it and the fact shocks you, you could probably compliment his smile for hours—

but that sounds just a little creepy.

"i just want to accompany you—" —and this is my only excuse to be around you— "do something nice for you after you did something nice for me".

the words make you pause. he's just.. so thoughtful huh? you've never heard of someone wanting to repay you for being nice, it's actually a little strange if you think about it.

"jisung you don't have to reward me for doing something nice.."

"it'd be great to walk with you, though, you make good company".

that's it? that's really it?

you're not sure why you're surprised about that, maybe it's just the idea that he literally searched for you just to say this, he truly just wants to walk you home, he truly just wants to spend time with you.

he thinks i make good company, just the thought alone is enough to make you giggle in your head. your inner thoughts sound ridiculous, but you can't help them.

"if you don't want me to it's totally oka—"

"no no no" you immediately cut into his sentence, hoping that didn't come off as desperate as it sounded. "i'm glad you offered to walk me home, i'd love to walk with you too".

you unsuccessfully try to mutter those last few words, a sudden shyness taking over you. jisung smiles, glad, no, elated at your agreement. he doesn't know why he's that happy, but he hopes it isn't clear and evident, he'd never live it down.

after bidding a goodbye to your friends, and telling sungchan you'd make sure to choose the photos for your editorials, you dragged jisung out of the school doors, much to your and jisung's surprise, as well as the shock of a few of your classmates, he made sure to eye the both of you suspiciously.

"what interested you in photography?"

a scene like this is something jisung thought he'd never get to, being able to talk to you, one on one. just the two of you sharing a simple conversation is what he's wanted for an uncharted amount of time, even with how straightforward it is, the two of you could never really find time to converse normally.

when jisung asks the question, you almost think you heard him wrong. he genuinely wants to know? in a way, you feel like you've always been just the slightest bit boring, yeah you wanna do journalism and love taking aesthetically pleasing photos but you've never considered what you do to be a talent by any means.

you pick at your fingers, looking down at the ground instead of at jisung. "it's an interest i picked up from my mother, i've always been shocked how she could just do that, you know? i love videography and stuff like that as well, i love how one can capture so much with just a single camera".

your words intrigue jisung, and he listened the whole entire way, not interrupting you once. he found a smile crossing his face at the clear display of passion for your creative work, he loves the way you put it into words. god if he didn't admire you before, he surely did now.

"what about you? you're pretty much good at everything, what drew you to the adrenaline rushing excitement of soccer?"

jisung pauses, allowing himself to let out a small snicker at the question. "i don't really enjoy soccer".

you raise an eyebrow. "oh?"

jisung laughs again, your tone of voice amusing him. "don't say it like that.. it's not that i hate it, i'm just not as into it like everyone expects me to be, i got onto the school team and i've been stuck there ever since" there isn't exactly distaste in jisung's tone, he just states it casually, like how it is. his voice is just simple, mundane, he doesn't dislike soccer, it's just not what he's looking forward to do.

you love his honesty.

"i'm into other things in a much more passionate sense, like dance, soccer is just a hobby" he finally finishes, pulling his sleeves over his arms as he avoids eye contact with you.

"so no professional soccer player park jisung?"

"i think i'll leave it to the other guy to be known for that".

you chuckle at his words, okay, he's funny (you knew that already, you just had to reiterate it in your head). god how can a guy be so perfect? you get why people are so into jisung, he's charming even without trying. you feel like the luckiest guy on earth knowing he asked to walk you home.

"y/n, i'm a very.." jisung pauses, as if trying to articulate the words he was about to say. "i really admire you a lot".

you almost lose it.

park jisung, beautiful, talented, hardworking park jisung admires you? he is an admirer of yours? you don't even know what to say, you try your best to sputter out a response but your brain is practically malfunctioning. your face goes red, and you go silent for a few minutes.

"i don't get it" is what you say, and jisung just cocks his head towards the side, observing you. "what's so admirable about me?"

"do you want a list?"

oh i'd love that. "i don't think you should waste your time".

"i wouldn't be wasting my time" jisung smiles, his gaze focused on you and only you, there's a way he's looking at you that keeps you still, unable to look away from him. "i never get the chance to tell you, i'd love to talk about everything i admire about you".

when did jisung get so bold? he'll never know where this random confidence came from, but he has an opportunity, he can't let it go to waste. he has to bring it up to you.

"what i do is nothing incredible—"

"i would disagree".

you should be angry that jisung interrupted you, but you found yourself smiling at his words. he's so generous, he doesn't have to tell you this, he doesn't have to compliment you like this, but he's doing it on his own accord, he wants to.

"okay then.. is it a good time to tell you that i also feel the same?"

jisung's ears go red, so red that it looks like smoke is gonna start pouring out of them. he is shocked, absolutely speechless. you admire him? does that mean he's gotten it all wrong these past few years? does that mean you return his feelings as well—

wait what?

"oh really?"

the prior confidence jisung had when telling you about his admiration has now all fizzled away, his voice almost cracks as he tries to register your words, and thank god it doesn't.

"it's kind of like what you said, you're amazing, a very admirable person, i know you don't really think of yourself like that but i do, and it's nice to be able to tell you up front".

jisung remains silent, but you don't mind, you just give him a smile and continue walking forward, allowing for him to catch up to you.

"is that actually true?"

"why would i lie to you?" you turn around, your whole body facing him. you begin walking backwards and wait for jisung's reply to your question. "don't give me that look".

jisung frowns, a playful one, he sends you a cute little glare that makes you giggle. he's absolutely adorable, you think in your head, he's the cutest person ever right now.

"you admire me?"

"yep".

"more than i admire you?"

"definitely, and don't even try to argue with me".

jisung opens his mouth to do exactly that, but you stop, turning around as you make it to the front of your house. "okay well, thank you for walking me home, ji".

jisung raises an eyebrow, noting down the nickname in his head. it's a common nickname, but he loves the way it sounds coming from you, he loves that you didn't just drop his full name.

"it's no problem.."

"i—"

you're cut off by the sound of the door opening, and your met with the face of your mother, whose face immediately brightens at the sight of you. you smile at her, and jisung just kinda stands there awkwardly.

"hi honey" she wraps her arms around you, and you let her, leaning your head onto her shoulder. "i thought you were staying late today?"

you shake your head. "not today, it's friday remember?"

"ohhh, yeah".

jisung glances down at the ground, playing with his feet. he doesn't know what to say, he doesn't want to interrupt the conversation you're having with your mother—

but he doesn't have to say anything, because your mother pipes up.

"oh! and who might this be?" she narrows her eyes at jisung, cogs in her brain seem to turn but then she snaps his fingers and gasps, seemingly getting it. "oh my god! park jisung?"

jisung smiles, a little laugh escaping his lips. "that is me".

"holy, you've changed so much? the last time i saw you you were barely up to my knees!"

at the sound of your mothers words, you give jisung a teasing stare, one which he quickly turns away from. "you and y/n are finally friends? i was wondering when it'd happen.."

your face goes bright red at the words, and an awkward chuckle escapes your lips. "seems he was too, he always talked about it—"

"haha! what!? that's hilarious mom!" you quickly cut in, not wanting her to talk about your former ramblings about park jisung, park jisung who was right beside you. "yeah okay, jisung i'll see you monday?"

jisung nods, a little too desperately for his liking, luckily you don't notice. "yeah, monday, have a good weekend, y/n".

you smile, blood rushing through your cheeks. "be safe".

he gives a small wave and turns around, beginning the walk back towards his home.

"he's such a nice kid, you sure you're just friends?"

your jaw pretty much drops, and you give your mother a look you don't think you've ever shared with her before. "yes! just friends!"

"hmm, sure".

"WHO ARE THOSE FOR?" CHENLE asks as he immediately notices the goodies in jisung's hands. he raises an eyebrow suspiciously at his best friend, examining the bouquet of flowers and box jisung held. jisung ignores him for a couple of minutes, placing the box in his locker and closing it behind him. "for someone" he just replies, hoping he could just remain vague instead of telling chenle about his true plans. the older narrows his eyes, clearly curious about this 'someone'. he flicks jisung in the forehead, resulting in a yelp from the other, who glares. "ow! what was that for?" he asks, furrowing his eyebrows and rubbing his forehead, a frown now coming to his face.

"what you're hiding stuff from me now?" chenle rolls his eyes at jisung's frown. "who are those flowers for? you got a boyfriend or something?"

chenle was right in assuming it was a boy that was making him go crazy, but you aren't his boyfriend (not yet at least, he's trying, really). he doesn't want to exactly divulge his plans to his nosy best friend yet, just because he'd go around telling everybody he could about what jisung was doing, he didn't want anything to be spoiled.

"they're for.. y/n".

jisung winces the moment he says those words, because chenle goes absolutely crazy.

"FOR WHO!?"

jisung is quick to slap a hand over chenle's mouth, glaring at him for how loud he said those words. "could you be any more obvious?" he asks, gritting his teeth as he continues to glare at his shorter best friend, whose eyes just widen even more. "yes they're for y/n—"

"what are you two dating now?" chenle doesn't care about anything jisung has to say, he slaps his hand away and stares in interest, wanting to know more.

"no! were not dating! it's just—" jisung pauses, how is he even gonna explain this without looking super guilty? blood rushes through his cheeks as he thinks about it, about how these are your favorite flowers, about how you might react. "i wanted to get him something nice! he did a good thing and.."

and i am just so in love with him, i think i might be going insane.

"i just want to do something nice!"

"okay but are you doing something nice or are you getting ready to ask him out?"

jisung's face goes a dangerously red color, and he immediately shakes his head, denial coursing through his veins. "i'm not going to ask him out, i mean— i get why you think that but it's not what it looks like!"

chenle raises an eyebrow, staring at his totally lovestruck best friend. "it sure does seem to be what it looks like".

"chenle—"

"look, jisung, there's no need to deny that you have such an obvious crush on y/n" chenle states like it's a matter of a fact, because it is, they both know it very well, he's better at assessing jisung's feelings than jisung himself is. "he thinks your cute, you think he's cute, you two just need to ask each other out".

"um.." jisung presses his lips together, the two falling into a weird silence. he clutches the daisies in his hands, thinking about you, but he shuts off his thoughts to respond to chenle's little analysis of him.

"i just don't know where we stand, i mean we're barely even friends".

"you two are pretty much already more than friends considering he can't talk to you without looking like he's about to devour you whole".

jisung's face must be an astonishing shade of red right now. "it's not—! i don't know how to explain it okay!?"

"yeah and how are you gonna explain the flowers?" chenle points at the daisies jisung is practically squeezing to death. "other people are probably gonna get another idea".

"well i'll let them think what they want" jisung responds, his only focus is you, who cares what other people think? your his main priority. "y/n is my main focus, i don't care about what other people are saying".

chenle chuckles at his response, oh park jisung is so down bad, he's so in love with you, a kind of love chenle has never seen him have for another person. yes park jisung, love avoiding extraordinaire, is head over heels in love with a boy, chenle cannot believe it.

"okay jisung, go ahead with your wooing y/n mission or something".

at least chenle is supportive.

jisung has to go through so many interrogations to explain to your fellow photographers why he's giving you flowers, while a few of them just shrug and get it, the rest of them make sure to eye him suspiciously while he goes on with his explanation and bright red ears.

he knows most of them probably won't keep their mouths shut, and jisung knows that you told him he shouldn't get you anything for preventing him from getting any future brain damage, but jisung disagrees, he thinks you deserve gifts.

"who are those for?"

your brain doesn't register the flowers, or the connection that they have with your not-so-secret admirer, you just stare at them puzzled. "they're for you!" sohee yells from somewhere else in the room, focused on another important thing.

your eyebrows furrow, and you blink as you stare at the daisies on the table. daisies are your favorite flowers, but everyone knows that! these could be from anyone! you're no stranger to getting random gifts from people, so these could really be from anyone.

but you only have a certain person in mind..

"from who?" you ask, but you really already know who, considering the knowing look sohee sends to you.

"jisung".

of course, you say in your head, your fingers trace the packaging of the bouquet, admiring the pretty flowers before you (the pretty flowers given to you by a pretty boy), a small smile comes to your face as you think about it. you told jisung not to get you anything, but he obviously wasn't going to listen to you, he's made that very clear.

"did he tell you anything?"

sohee doesn't spare you another glance, but you can just tell he's grinning like a madman with the way he's clearly trying to hold in his laughter. "he just told me to make sure to get them to you, he was very insistent".

the teasing tone of your friends voice doesn't go unnoticed by you, and your barely able to stifle your laugh, not at sohee exactly, but at jisung's actions.

of course he didn't listen when you said for him to not get you anything, he remembered what your favorite flowers are, did he spend his weekend thinking about it? you wonder what kind of florists we must've went to.. your mind races with just jisung thoughts, and you're just so lost in them that you don't realize your zoning out.

oh park jisung, why do you have to be so sweet?

"DID YOU REALLY HAVE TO?" YOU immediately ask the moment you come across park jisung in the hallway. the boy blinks, smiling at the sight of you, his face practically brightens at the sight of you. "what do you mean?" he inquired innocently, a small tilt of his head adding to his question. you send him a glare, not a serious one, but it's still a glare. you can't even believe his audacity, for him to look at you with such beautiful eyes, make your knees feel weak without even having to do anything? park jisung is just such a crazy man, you don't know if you can stare at him any longer, you might end up passing out from heat exhaustion (the heat from your face, of course, something that's become so normal for you when around park jisung).

"don't 'what do you mean?' me, i told you not to get me anything!" you complain, lightly shoving jisung's shoulder. "seriously, i said it was fine.." you mumble those words, but jisung just smiles.

"i wanted to get you something anyway, i needed to show you my appreciation somehow".

but just your admiration is enough appreciation for me, just you being around is enough, just you is enough.

your own thoughts weird you out on occasions.

"i told you not to—"

"but i wanted to, it's fine y/n, seriously, just accept my gesture".

you bite your inner cheek, he just always has to be nice, doesn't he? your cheeks flare up and you swear your face goes a shade of red you've never seen before, how does one boy even affect you like this? you don't think you've ever acted like this around any of your other admirers ever..

"ah" a small smile comes to your face. "thank you" you whisper, you're not sure why you get so shy all of a sudden.

"it's no problem" jisung responds, a smile coming to his face. he closes the door to his locker, and then leans onto it. "walk with me?"

you blink, jisung really likes walking with you, huh? is this gonna become your thing? you wouldn't really mind when you think about it.. you enjoy walking with jisung, you just enjoy any time you can spend with jisung.

"what's with you and asking to walk with me?"

"walking with you is just.. nice".

"do i ease your stresses or something?"

your tone is meant to come off as teasing, and your question is mostly unserious, you don't register how you sound like your flirting with jisung, probably because everything just feels so natural with jisung, you love how you feel around him, it's confusing to explain.

"i guess you could say that" jisung's response snaps you out of your jisung focused thoughts, thoughts which are difficult to not get stuck in considering park jisung is constantly occupying your mind these days. "anyway, can you walk with me?"

you pause, tongue pressing against the inside of your cheek. you have class in twenty minutes, and you don't really want to walk back all the way with only five minutes left to make it to class. "i don't know.. chen might kill me".

"please?"

that catches you off guard, you seemingly forget how to think for a second. jisung really wants to walk with you so bad, he's reverting to that easily convincing voice of his? you'd be an idiot to say no, you'd be an idiot to deny anything given to you by park jisung, you sigh in your head.

"okay, fine".

a smile of victory places itself on jisung's face, and he takes your hand, to your own surprise, as the two of you begin making your way down the hall. you wanna bring it up, but you don't want him to let go of you, so you don't. your face goes a bright shade of red, jisung doesn't seem to mind, or maybe he's always wanted to hold your hand, you aren't sure.

you focus way too much on it, on the way it feels, how jisung's soft hands contrast your rough ones, how warm his hands are, you don't want to let go, you don't want him to let go. god, you feel like such a loser, freaking out over a boy holding your hand.

but it's not just a boy, it's park jisung, park jisung makes you feel things you thought you'd never feel before..

"why do you seem so worried?" jisung chuckles, his hand holding yours. he nudges your shoulder lightly, raising an eyebrow.

"because, i don't wanna be late".

jisung snickers, not making fun of you, though, he hopes you don't think that. "have you never skipped a class before?"

your eyes widen as large as saucers, model student park jisung has skipped classes? a small chuckle escaped your lips. "no, i could never bring myself to, it always made me feel strange.."

now it's jisung's turn to look surprised, you laugh again, why does he assume you skip classes? or have even attempted to skip? you wonder what goes through his mind. "are you serious? you've never tried to skip before?"

you scoff, pinching his arm. "i tried to once in the sixth grade because of a dare from friends, but i literally couldn't do it, they called me a wimp for the rest of the year".

"aww sad".

"don't give me your fake pity, also— you've skipped class before!?"

jisung chuckles at your surprise, giving a small smile. "it was a few times as a sophomore, some classes are just so boring i can't resist".

"wow, model student park jisung skips his classes? i cannot believe the information that has been bestowed upon me".

the words, paired with your sarcastic tone made jisung let out yet another snicker, he hopes he's not overdoing it in your eyes, you're genuinely just a very funny person. "oh no! don't use this secret to tarnish my pristine reputation!"

"you're such an idiot".

a cute idiot.

"be quiet, you still love me" jisung rebuts, adding a small nudge to your shoulder along with his words.

it's weird to say, but you like this. even with your totally non-romantic feelings for jisung, you find this nice. is this what dating him would be like? you get to hold hands and joke around in the halls without a care in the world? you think you'd enjoy that, you'd enjoy dating park jisung.

wait what?

you snap out of your thoughts when jisung stops, so you stop too. he lets go of your hand, and you resist the urge to frown, because you don't want to come off as desperate. (but you are desperate, you're so desperate, having park jisung hold your hand was so nice, you want him to hold it again).

"this is my stop, thank you for my walking with me".

the words are simple, basic, but you find your face heating up at them anyway. you clear your throat, not wanting to stay silent any longer. "it was no problem, i couldn't disagree anyway".

jisung laughs, he is so pretty, so pretty without even having to do anything significant. "of course you couldn't" he looks down at his feet. "anyway! have a good day y/n, don't be late to your next class!"

you blink as you watch jisung walk into the auditorium for his next class, you watch as he walks away, standing there for what seems like forever. how could a guy, just a guy affect you so much? what is it with park jisung and making you stop in your tracks? he's mesmerizing, just so easily draws you in.

your eyes widen as you realize the time, you're going to be late for your next class, mr. chen is going to kill you!

and as you totally sprint down the hallway to get to your next class, your mind is racing with thoughts of park jisung the entire time.

"AM I NOT YOUR BEST FRIEND?" YOU CAN practically hear the pout in sungchan's voice as he said those words. you place the extra polaroids on your desk, then glance up at your friend, who stares at you with an expression of defeat on his face. you raise an eyebrow, puzzled at what the actual hell he's talking about, he's always just bringing stuff up so randomly, you can't even keep up with what he's referring to now. sungchan just frowns, letting out a groan of frustration as plops down beside you, a small huff adding to his words. you chuckle at the way he decides to present himself, and he groans once again, very frustrated. "where is this coming from?"

"why didn't you tell me about you and jisung".

you pause, an expression of surprise comes to your face, your face which heats up astonishingly quickly. "me and jisung? me and jisung what? we aren't—"

"y/n there's no point in denying it, everyone already knows".

"everyone already knows what?"

"that you and jisung have a thing, it's fine if you don't wanna tell everyone but excluding me? your best friend in the whole entire world from the news?"

"jisung and i aren't dating!" you say immediately, clasping your hands together as you try to calm your rapidly beating heart. why do people even think that? yeah you like park jisung but how did people even reach the conclusion that you were dating? you're not even sure if jisung returns your feelings. "i don't even know where people got that idea.."

"so your constant yearning stares and pitched up giggles are all not apart of that?"

"i don't—" you are definitely showcasing all guilty characteristics, your red face, your shrill voice, and your very obvious lying, sungchan sees right through you, anyone would be able to. "yearning stares are stupid i don't do that!"

"yeah, sure y/n" sungchan sighs, and you groan, screaming into your pillow. "i'm not trying to be mean or anything, but it's disgustingly obvious that you're into jisung, and i mean in a cringy way".

you gasp in offense, turning away from your best friend. you want to remain stubborn, but you can't, of course you can't, how can you even deny your feelings for jisung anymore if other people can now tell that you like him? your face heats up in embarrassment, and you cover your face with your hands. "is it really that obvious?" you mutter, hoping the answer isn't what you think it is.

"yeah, very, i wouldn't even be surprised if the two of you were actually dating and this was a little trick of yours".

sungchan points at you, an accusatory look in his eyes, but he immediately lets it go, because he knows you, and he can tell that you are telling the truth. you don't even have the courage to look at him, still covering your face with your hands. "have you not told jisung how you feel yet?"

your silence tells sungchan everything he needs to know, and the look he gives you is absolutely criminal.

"YOU HAVEN'T!?"

"i haven't found any time too!"

"how much time have you been spending around jisung these days!? you haven't even tried to bring it up to him!"

you let yourself fall to the side, half your body hanging off your bed. "i don't know how to" you whine, mind immediately rushing to thoughts of park jisung, thoughts you probably shouldn't be having. "it's awkward!"

"well i'm sure jisung feels the same with the way he always has to resist the urge to kiss you in the hallway".

"with the way he WHAT!?"

the words are enough to make you rise from your formerly fallen state, a look of astonishment on your face. did jisung really return your feelings? or was sungchan just trying to start something that would end up absolute humiliation?

"y/n, not trying to be rude or anything, but it's so obvious that jisung wants to date you, he doesn't even have to say it for everyone to know!"

you feel like you just discovered the secrets of the universe with those words, park jisung likes you? like likes you likes you? once the realization dawns on you, you gasp loudly.

"WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME!? OH MY GOD I CAN'T BELIEVE I WAS SUCH AN IDIOT UGH!"

sungchan watches you freak out, he truly can't believe that he had to tell you for all of it to finally set in.

it's actually pretty funny, and he snickers as he watches you go absolutely ballistic.

"HAVE YOU SEEN Y/N?" JISUNG ASKS the first recognizable person he sees in the hallway. he hasn't seen any seniors anywhere for a while, but that's because the days keep getting warmer, meaning graduation keeps getting closer, most of the seniors only take two classes and then go on to do their extracurriculars, so they don't really have to spend the whole entire day at school, but it's weird today because he usually always sees you, even when he isn't purposefully looking for you (which has become a common thing for him to do, he's just loves the time he can spend with you). he hopes you aren't absent, because today is friday, and if he doesn't tell you his important news now he's going have to wait an extra two days.

"y/n? uh..." the unfamiliar boy pauses for a moment, as if thinking, and jisung is hoping that it isn't the worst, because he really needs you to be here today. "well i'm not sure where he is actually! probably with his other photographers".

"but he's here right?" jisung doesn't care if he comes off as desperate, his only focus is you, you are his main priority, he doesn't care about the impression he's making on others, he can truly only think about you at the moment.

"yeah! i'm just not sure where exactly!"

"okay thank you!"

the guy gives him a strange look, a mix of teasing and giddy, but jisung walks off too fast to see it, he's set on finding you. he doesn't exactly know where he's supposed to go, he's just hoping to somehow spot you and be able to get you alone.

"what are you rushing for?" chenle comes out of nowhere, noticing jisung's urgency and the way he's clearly focused on something specific strikes him as odd, but he already has an idea of what's making jisung so fidgety. "you're gonna confess your love to y/n or something?"

"yes, actually i am chenle, it'd be great if i could find him, though".

maybe it's jisung's surprising honesty, or the way his main priority is you. chenle finds it amusing how quick the switch flipped, but it's also kind of cute. the usual pessimist, mr 'i don't really care about love' park jisung is down bad for a boy, it's adorable. "have you tried the photography room?"

"where do you think i'm heading?"

chenle chuckles at jisung's attitude, simply smiling and pulling his cheek. "alright then! don't forget to tell me how it goes!"

jisung doesn't spare chenle another glance, just turns back around and focuses on the task at hand, finding you and telling you how he feels.

jisung wonders how you'll react, based on what he's seen, it's not completely guaranteed that you'll reject him, it's probably more likely that you return his feelings rather than don't. does that make him horrible? thinking because you've exhibited the traits of someone who has a crush that you have a crush on him?

maybe you don't like him and he's letting it all get to his head, it all just seems too good to be true.

jisung doesn't even have to go all the way to the photography room, because he bumps right into you whilst on his way there, and a small yelp escapes your lips. "oh my god.. sorry!"

jisung cannot contain his excitement, and his nervousness. there is absolutely nothing to be nervous about, this is y/n. kind, understanding, charming y/n, it's not like he's going to scream at you for telling him you like him. it’ll all be fine.

"it's alright" you whisper, shaking your head for a moment. "i was looking for you" you immediately say, not allowing for jisung to speak before you.

jisung's eyes widen. you were looking for him? it makes his brain go haywire, figurative cogs in his head turning. "that's ironic, i was looking for you too".

jisung swears he can see the red coloring on your cheeks, but he doesn't say anything about it.

"i have to tell you something".

the two of you say that sentence in unison, the same amount of anxiety coursing through your veins, the same red hue on your cheeks, the same look of surprise in your eyes. "you can go first" you whisper, picking at your fingers, you aren't exactly sure if you want to hear what he's about to say.

"are you sure? it seems you have something more important to say.."

"it's fine! really, i can just say it after yo—"

"i'm in love with you".

the words strike you like a punch to the gut, a slap to the face. your stomach drops, your face is burning horribly, and your legs feel like they're about to give in. you cannot believe it, you hope you don't pass out, you hope you don't just die right here, that'd be so embarrassing.

park jisung is in love with you. beautiful, talented, model student park jisung who you've never truly known how you felt about is in love with you. you are so happy, giddy, and it disgusts you, but the disgust is quickly replaced by the feeling of joyousness. park jisung is in love with you, he feels the same way.

"jisung, i'm—"

"it's okay if you don't return my feelings i just wanted to tell you!" is that really what he thinks? that you don't love him back? he must be crazy, you've only ever exhibited reciprocal feelings. "i'll be off now!"

"no! don't go!" you grab jisung's wrist before he can walk away. smart move y/n, you're acting so natural right now. "i just, i return your feelings! i just don't know how to explain it, also my hands are very sweaty right now and i feel gross.."

you let go of jisung's wrist and feel your face get unbearably hotter. it's embarrassing, you feel so embarrassed, but it's park jisung, and jisung just stares at you lovingly. you're so cute, how did it take him this long to tell you how he felt?

"you're so cute".

jisung doesn’t even realize he says the words until you give him that look, and your red face just makes him giggle more. "this isn't— that is not fair! i was supposed to confess first!"

"you're the one who told me to go first!"

"i didn't know you were going to tell me you liked me! i prepared a whole sentence for you and everything!"

you whine, covering your red face with your hands. jisung removes your hands from your face, and a small smile graces his pretty features. he's absolutely gorgeous, he has such a pretty smile, you have the sudden urge to tell him about it. "your smile is beautiful".

now it's jisung's turn to become the red faced lovesick fool. "ah, really?" he responds, voice shaky, hands even more shaky, but they're so soft, your mind always reminds you to note that.

you hum in agreement. "it's very pretty, i can't believe more people don't talk about it".

"well you can talk about it, aren't we technically dating now?"

the question makes you pause. you feel like your about to go insane, you're dating park jisung? park jisung is your boyfriend? this is like a dream come true, a dream you thought would stay a dream and only a dream. "dating? dating! yeah yeah!"

your natural act is not natural at all, you are very nervous, so nervous you feel like your about to collapse onto the floor. "there's no need to be so nervous.."

you groan. "says you!"

"alright y/n" jisung lets go of your hands, much to your dismay, because you frown. he takes note, and reaches over to grab your own once again, intertwining your fingers. "we’re dating, you don't have to go red faced every time i compliment you now".

"but it's you, how do i not?"

jisung sighs, leaning forward and pressing a small peck on your lips. oh he is such a stupid little—

"why would you do that!?"

"i'm sorry!" jisung giggles, he was definitely not sorry. "it was an instinct, i had to!"

"you— ugh!"

park jisung can't just not make you nervous, he's such a crazy man.

one that you love, of course.

"I THINK I LIKE THIS ONE THE MOST.." JISUNG states, admiring the polaroid photos which litter the desk. you hum at his words, rummaging through the box on the counter, you are very much focused on finding that estranged camera taehyun had pointed for you to find. your boyfriend glances up, looking over your shoulder, silently watching as you get frustrated about this stupid camera you couldn't find. "which one?" you inquire, glancing over at him. jisung holds up the polaroid, a picture you'd taken of you and sungchan at the beach when you were nine. a pretty photo, you aren't even sure how you pulled it off. "ah, that is a pretty one" you whisper, and you smile the moment jisung smiles. his smile is so pretty, a cute stretch which is enough to make you smile, even if you feel down.

"what’s with your face?"

"searching for this old camera is pissing me off" you remark, knowing that you have to search for this is just making you even more mad, why do you have to pack the photography room right before graduation? you hate it. "who even left it in here?"

"a former student maybe?"

you close your eyes, sighing. "i need this to be over so much more quickly" you complain, and jisung just laughs at your misery.

"we graduate in a week, y/n, just be patient" the younger pokes your cheek, then he cups your face, trying to make your frown disappear. "an old camera is not the end of the world".

you glance down at jisung's lips, then narrow your eyes. "are you trying to seduce me?" you question, raising an eyebrow.

"no?" jisung responds, adding a small tilt of his head to his words. "do i sound believable?"

"not at all" you say, pushing jisung's hands away and looking back to the box in front of you so you can continue to scour for this camera you have to get for your friend. you continue to search through the box, trying to find this old dslr camera for your friend. "so don't distract me".

"i'm not!" jisung whines, wrapping his arms around your waist and placing his chin onto your shoulder, watching you try to succeed at your mission of finding a camera. "you don't want to give me, your lovely, amazing boyfriend attention?"

you merely roll your eyes at jisung, he's so annoying (in a cute way), you're about to call chenle to drag him away from you, but you also don't want him to let go of you, his arms around your waist make you feel safe, loved, park jisung makes you feel so loved.

"i found it!" you shriek, victory soaring in your voice. "fucking finally".

"okay so can you give me a kiss now?" jisung asks, puckering his lips and leaning closer to you.

he's so desperate, and you are too, it's adorable, park jisung is adorable. "hmm" you pretend to think about it, an inquisitive look making it's way to your face. "nah".

"y/n! that's not fair!" jisung whines, shaking you with his arms that are still around your waist. he frowns, trying to give you his best puppy dog eyes.

you almost give in, but you push him away, taking the camera you'd been searching for. "later, babe".

"you said that this morning!"

you sigh, turning around to stare at the pouting park. the cute pout remains on his face, how can you ever resist him? you lean forward and press a kiss to his lips, ruffling his hair. "there, are you happy you big baby?"

"you could do better".

"uh huh, and you could be patient".

jisung frowns once again, but it's not a serious one, just the cute one he likes to do when he pretends to be mad at you. "don't be mad, you know i love you".

jisung does know, he knows that very well. he smiles at you, he's so in love with you, and not even in an embarrassing way, there's nothing embarrassing about this, he feels joyful, a sense of euphoria overtakes him whenever he’s with you.

"i know, i love you too".

and he isn't lying when he says that.

because he truly does.

[grendel-menz]

yo im not sure if this is a weird ask so feel free to ignore but like !! sorry i just had a moment bc ive been struggling w being half white for a long time now, like something was off my entire life with how other white people would treat me as an Other, the way they would like reduce me to an animal/the wild friend/make some weird dehumanizing comments, and despite all this not even knowing the truth of my ancestry til i was out of high school. but at the same time i felt like i could never really claim it? like i had no connection to my native side since my father wasn't allowed that so i was basically raised White and every time i looked in the mirror something told me it was wrong for me to even seek that connection. it did not help that i'd meet other half natives here who would tell me that (there is a weird culture here about rooting out "fakers" and accusing people you dont like of faking their history to get yourself more legitimacy). sorry this is all a rambly preface to say id always related to your art about ancestry and culture and finding yourself and how people treat you but felt wrong for it but then you post a picture and you're a stones throw away from me. like, we look like we could be cousins. idk i just went wow, i look like that too, its okay, i shouldnt have gatekept my connecting behind fear of... i dont even know what anymore. idk this ask has no point so from another genderweird half who hallucinates i hope u have a great week month year and i hope good things happen to you. you bring a lot of joy to people

I'm sorry you've struggled with all this, it can be really tough. My situation is a bit different since my mom never let me forget I'm Filipino. I never felt distant from being mixed, just the culture we lost due to some extraordinarily difficult circumstances in the past few generations of my moms side. I'm also lucky in that Filipinos and SEAsians as a whole tend to be very avid about welcoming mixed kids into the community (though there's a lot of racism and colorism involved in the level of acceptance someone gets, unfortunately. I'm pale and treated well, and I doubt someone darker skinned would be treated as well in certain circles.).

I can't speak for Native American communities, but I will solidly say in general that blood quantum and its enforcement is colonial. Your ancestors do not love you in halves or quarters, that would be very strange. When I have a baby I plan to love the whole thing and not just whatever dna percentage is mine. It's just important to research, support, reach out to, and represent your community to the best of your ability. (If I've misspoken here lmk.)

I have Indigenous family members, ancestry, and community, but I don't personally call myself Indigenous because I am still researching and reconnecting, and it's such a big word. There's no rush to things, go at the pace you're comfortable with when it comes to seeing yourself.

Sorry for being long winded! Hopefully that helps or yeah! :D

[changbinsboobs]

Who's the most believer Christian church boy in skz🙏

Sooo i was unsure if i should read on whos most religious or whos specifically most cristian but i chose the second one and maybe someday ill t a broader reading about their religious views in general.

Chan - PoP, 4oS

I think he's pretty educated on christianity, maybe he had bible study or something when he was older. Don't see him caring much about it tho, i don't think christianity has stuck to him more than just basic info and i don't think he's active in any way other than every once and a while reading something about it if the occasion arises(?)

Lee Know - 4oC

Doesn't seem to agree with Christianity. There's a lot that doesn't make sense to him. I think he's brought up christian tho, like all the members i think.

Changbin - 9oC

I would say he's pretty christian, or should i rather say i think his family is rather christian and i think God comes up often in his conversations with his family and even friends. I don't see him specifically being really religious and an active christian but i think someone in his family might be an avid believer and i think he finds that really wholesome and has had a positive view of God in his upbringing and his life until now. I don't see him going to church or anything aside from keeping his mom or dad or aunt or whoever it is, company like once in a blue moon. In short, i don't think he himself is an avid believer but someone close to him is and he sees beauty in that and holds christianity in kind regards because he loves his relative. Thats that. He also values belief and the higher power! I think he has genuine belief and respect for that - which isn't bound strictly to christianity tho i think he finds value in that regardless of religion.

Hyunjin - 5oP, 7oW

I don't think he believes in God. I think he has been left dissapointed a few times and doesn't hold Christianity specifically in high regards. I think he would be pretty reserved around people like that and i think Christianity alltogether might be something slightly triggering for him?

Han - The Chariot

He seem really devoted actually. Idk how to interpret that energy and i don't wanna offend anyone cuz ya'll are such snowflakes but i get the vibe that he's pretty unstable? Ugh idk how to explain it but u sure have met people who are really desperate and in a mentally unstable space and then suddenly someone knocks on their door and to them it seems like a sign or whatever and because they're vulnerable they let themselves get brainwashed. Im not saying all that happened to him - i just wrote a scenario to kind of explain the vibe that im feeling. There is a sudden(feels fairly new), very intense devotion and practice being strictly followed and a certain anxiety accompanying it and i sense a pushing, forceful energy from him, as well as instability and a need for some. Which might be the reason for his sudden turn? Also i don't want to make any rash assumptions but just letting you know cults in korea are a thing...👀

Felix - 8oW

Very active and strong in his belief, doesn't even need any explaining, honestly his card didn't even surprise me.

Seungmin - 2oP

I would say he's pretty neutral. There's not much to say, he views himself as a Christian, he doesn't get much involved tho, he just does regular duties (idk what exactly but i guess getting married in a church or paying church tax or whatever) but not going to church every Sunday and reading the bible and praying before eating and stuff like that. He's just on the middle.

I.N - 7oS, Death

I think he either is very strict because he has church/god anxiety, or he HATES Christianity and has had very bad experience with it.

I swear if one of y'all complains im switching the anon feature off and blocking ur ass😀

[evereverest2]

Little Monster Q&A + author fun facts !!

hello new followers and fans of Little Monster. first of all, i just have to thank everyone for the crazy support ive been getting as of late. thank you everyone. every like, comment, and reblog just pushes me to keep writing, even when it feels like every word i write is garbage.

so i decided to make this little special! idk if anyone will be super interested, so ill put all the stuff under the cut, but i also wanted to add this little drawing i did of terzomega as like extra content. if you arent interested, thanks anyway and enjoy the art!

—

to everyone who stayed, i have no idea why you’re interested, but thanks lmfao. this shit will be long.

Questions

Is your most recent oneshot about the mirror related at all to Little Monster? (from @ofthemorningstars)

i'm glad you noticed that !! in The Mirror, i very purposefully left two hints at the end of the fic to indicate its connection to Little Monster, which was the taco ring reference and Terzo's use of "mostriciatto". to me, mostriciatto will always be the Little Monster version of terzomega. no matter when i finish that fic or if i write more fics after, i will never again use mostriciatto unless im purposefully writing these versions of terzomega. i havent seen anyone else use it (i hope they dont), so i like to imagine this can be forever my impact on terzomega fics lmao. anyway, the purpose of me leaving those references isnt necessarily to say, "this is a future scene of little monster" bc it isnt exactly that (while i have plans that line up with this oneshot, i cannot anticipate that everything will fit perfectly by the time we get there in the canon). the purpose of doing that was to show u cuties that yes, terzo and omega will eventually have a better relationship, and i will be extending this timeline into papa terzo era. just a fun little teaser for my more observant fans.

also, fun fact about how i came up with that pet name. i was writing the first part of Little Monster (that part is now titled Spilled Wine as featured on my Ao3) and i knew i wanted to give terzo an affinity for using pet names, but i didn't know quite which ones to use. i didn't want to be boring, so i googled some. i have no idea where, but i found mostriciatto, meaning, of course, "little monster." i had yet to even really start writing it, but i knew i wanted it to be DARK with a very unhinged omega, so i thought, perfect. ill talk a bit more about the writing of part one later on

2. How many parts do you currently anticipate writing? Do you have a set ending point, or will this perhaps be an ongoing project for the foreseeable future? (from @ofthemorningstars)

i have 12 major plot points (including the first five parts i have written) that loosely translate into parts. this could mean 12 parts, or it could be more depending on what i write. i kinda plan on expanding this to 18 (6 parts per “era” or “act” [you’ll see what i mean]) though i dont quite have a set ending yet, so really its up in the air. i am, however, planning on having a definitive ending, ergo not an endless project. from there there may be some oneshots in this universe, but they will have an ending.

3. In the first part of little monster you put a disclaimer with something along the lines of "if you're expecting comfort I'm sorry to disappoint". The angst is MWAH but do you like plan on giving Terzo like any sort of comfort or happiness?? (from anon)

before i begin rambling, here's your answer: there will be hope and good times as mentioned above, and you might have even picked up on that in part 5. i may have wrote a fucked up versions of terzomega but whats a good story without character growth?? i havent determined the direction of the ending, but rest assured, if it all burns down, they will hold each other close (for the minute it takes).

but also.... funny story about that disclaimer....

soo i wanted to write ghost fanfic to impress my friend who is a VERY avid member of this community. however, i failed to realize they DO NOT like angst without love and care and fluff, so after i showed it to them, buddy did not like it. i took that as a sign that maybe this shit was a little TOO dark.

but my god, i could not stop thinking about it, as the caption said, and i dont always feel that away about what i write. i had recently started to post semi often to tumblr, and i just thought. well, theres gotta be someone else as fucked up as me, and i posted that shit. that disclaimer was a result of taking my friends reaction seriously and realizing that i needed to make it VERY clear that this fic is NOT for everyone. there was a different og caption that was longer and more grave, but i cut it down for aesthetics bc little monster has already seen more success than i ever anticipated.

4. What is your favorite ghost album, and what song introduced you to ghost? (from anon) & Favorite ghost song (or songs) (from @ask-enso-ghoul)

my favorite album is Infestissumam!!! the vibes of the album are so fucking immaculate, even if terzo is my favorite papa.

of course, of course, the first song i ever heard from ghost was Mary on a Cross. it blew up when it did and i loved it. the second song that really made me start getting into ghsot was square hammer, which will secretly also be my favorite ghost song but ive heard it so many times i have to give it now to the future is a foreign land. some of my other fave songs are jigolo, respite, body and blood, faith, twenties, and year zero (there’s just so many)

i want to take a second to say my least favorite album though, which is opus eponymous, or as i call it, pope pussy. it’s ok. it’s just ok. mk. i’m not a fan of that sound. the best song on there is genesis. I FUCKING SAID IT—

5. how do you get into the zone of writing smut-? I’m trying to get into it but it sounds cheesy when I do, so do you do something specific? (from anon)

im gonna level with you. i have been writing for almost a decade, since i was 12, and the first thing i started writing was smut. sex has always been a HUGE creative force for my writing and art in general. as stupid as it sounds, writing smut to me is more than just that. its my art. its my greatest and most inspirational subject. i love being creative with it, bending it to the niches and intricacies of the duo im writing, just playing with it as a medium of expression, of storytelling, of how DEEP it can be.

that being said, one of the easiest ways to get into the zone of smut specifically is being horny ! you imagine your pairing doing some illicit bedroom activity and you pick them up liek dolls and smush their faces together ! let it be fun, and let it be yours. dont write it to please the kinks of your audience, write it to your own taste and enjoyment.

as far as it being cheesy, yeah, it will feel that way. the most important thing is to be confident with your language and don’t shy away from calling a dick a dick, a pussy a pussy, an ass an ass. it feels stupid, but it will read worse if you make up artsy names for them every other line. don’t be afraid to be descriptive either, because that’s what the people want to see, trust me.

apologies if that was unhelpful, ive just been writing smut so long i can hardly tell you how i do it. im jsut super passionate about it and it fuels me creatively….. can u tell lol

6. Favorite work you’ve ever done? (from anon)

so.... ive written many things and that depends. its definitely not anything ive posted on here.

i think my favorite "serious" work is a short story i wrote for a creative writing class, called Abel and Sally. it was an modern inversion of the bible story of abraham and sarah, with a really dark ending (i love to shit on catholicism)

the other work that comes to mind is the first story i wrote about my oc anson, called Anson's Prison. that is something i would potentially post on here, its pretty short but its a good one. its oc content, tho, so i doubt many ppl would be interested lel.

8. will you draw more drawing for your stories in the future? (from anon)

well. heres my thing with art.

ive been drawing as long as ive been writing. but im not an artist; i never learned ANYTHING beyond like drawing itself, i.e. i dont know how to shade, pick colors, do bgs, etc. (can u tell??? do u see that art up there???? can YOU TELL??) thus, i have a sort of love hate relationship with drawing, and i usually dont like my own stuff. i didnt pick up drawing as easy as i did writing and its not nearly as intuitive to me.

that being said, it is sometimes fun when the drawings turn out just right and i get super passionate about something i draw and i can create the image in my head. so if the mood strikes me, i probably will draw more terzomega stuff in the future.

but why do i need to?? feeds you all SO WELL with little monster stuff you dont need my shitty art lmfao

9. MILK OR CEREAL FIRST? (from anon)

cereal. bc the moment the milk hits that cereal u are on a speedy ass countdown to devour that shit before it gets soggy, and brother, u better eat quick.

Things I wanted to share

Little Monster was supposed to be a one shot

so, Little Monster started as one thing and turned to something else entirely. originally, i wrote the beginning of the first chapter (where they are flirting in the church) in about april of this year. in this version, they were supposed to already be in love, though hiding it, and terzo was not drunk at all, just teasing. i eventually scrapped it because i wasnt very passionate about it and got p bored. then, in july, i had the itch to write something dark, but none of my projects at the time had characters i could really write that with. i came back to that scrapped fic and i thought, damn, i could really fuck these guys up, and i did.

little monster immediately became more successful than i thought it would be, and that was only about 10 notes and a comment in. i was happy to leave it at that, but then, i just started writing part two on a whim. if you look at the og post in the comments, i mention that im writing a "follow up". thats bc even when writing part two, this was not going to be a series !! but then, as i kept writing, part two became so long i had to split it in half, meaning there were suddenly 3. by the time i posted part three, though, i was shocked at the sheer amount of attention i was getting. at the same time, part three ended in such a way that i knew this story needed to keep going, to give these two a resolution. now, little monster will be a full fledged story thanks to all the support ive received :3

2. im an english major

yeah, you got me, im a college student majoring in english creative writing. is it obvious? my penultimate goal is to one day be a published author. it’s crazy surreal to me how much people express to me how they enjoy my writing~~ i hope i can one day make my dream come true 🥰 the unfortunate part about this is i go back to college next week and im uncertain how that will affect my writing schedule :p i’ll stick to weekly uploads for little monster tho dw !!

3. this is the first time i’ve written fanfic in several years

when i first started writing it was frerard and peterick fanfics on wattpad in middle school (huge shoutout to the ones that know lmfao). i stopped writing those before hs and haven’t written fanfic since. i think it’s very funny that i have come full circle back to writing band fanfic, altho ghost ofc is way more intricate with its canon

4. I LOVE YOU GUYS

i know i’ve said it a dozen times already on this post, but god it’s crazy. it’s nuts !! i’ve already made a handful of super sweet mutuals who i appreciate with all my heart, and even if you’re just a lurker, I STILL APPRECIATE YOU. EVERY SINGLE NOTE MAKES ME SO HAPPY. EVERY COMMENT AND RB HAS ME BURSTING WITH JOY.

it is entirely thanks to you all that i write terzomega and ive become so passionate about it. if it weren’t for your support, i would probably still be writing my silly little stories that no one but me could possibly understand, rotting away and wondering if anyone would even like my writing. terzo and omega are such a unique pairing compared to what ive written before, and writing them is a really cool feeling. i truly love it, and i hope i can continue to feed this side of the fandom for a long time.

from the bottom of my heart and with all my writing soul, thank you. i want to keep writing for u guys, and i want to satiate ur dirty terzomega fantasies >:) this is such a sweet and inclusive fandom and im glad i’ve been welcomed in so quickly. i hope i can continue to grow my talent here :3

ok that’s it bye teehee

[slothspamsstuff]

I’ve had this idea for the past month. I love fantasy and I want to try mixing between heroes and fantasy after binge reading dark knights of steel 😭😭 so I tried to draw Jason Todd in his DnD inspired costume (it isn’t that good since im very much using elements from the original design of jason from dkos and his current design by Pete Woods) but I’m trying to understand more about dnd and fantasy stuff 🥹👉👈 I’m an avid fan but I’m also from a country that’s not known for dnd so i might get things very wrong sobs

So basically, I’m thinking about the bat folks gathering around and play a game of DnD, Jason is a nerd, so he would very much enjoy the whole thing. His character is an archer (since he’s a master marksman), human race, made a pact with the devil to come back to life and successfully protected his village at the cost of being ostracized. Now he operates as a ghost vigilante whose luck is just perfect enough to be paired with Dick and Tim (lol)

Stay tuned, I’ll slowly work on the others too. You guys have any suggestion to which class and race the other batfam member should be? Feel free to drop a comment 😭 and pls forgive me if I got anything wrong or too cringey

P/s: this is another attempt to get used to the ipad, procreate is harddd and I have added the masked version cuz im a scatter-brained dumbass that forgets everythang 💀

[jacedified]

things i cant stop thinking about !!

most of this is going to imperium related so enjoy my brain turning mwah

also pls ignore my mid sentence rambling i have a serious problem

warnings: gore/mentions of death , violence , imperium , swearing :D , adult with internet access cant shut up

- yandere caller being a shade

(someone said this on a hc list and now im actively running with it)

- sams eyes being brown

(as a brown eye haver i know he misses them dearly and i wnna give him the worlds sweetest biggest longest hug)

- the idea of gavin “slicing” peoples threads for kody in imperium

(forcing my husband ((i need therapy im married to a fictional incubus)) to do such acts simply because you want to you sick freak ILL FUCKING KILL U- oh wait gavin already did xoxo kiss my ass from hell kody)

- the look on kodys face at the end of it all

(as previously stated i wanted that man dead.. i just wanna make sure hes actually gone yknow)

- what asher’s smile looked like when him and david were together (imperium)

(knowing that david was gone, hearing the random audience member asking for david to be alive and left alone in the first imperium video, knowing they were mates, knowing how heartbroken asher was after his death i just wanna see them happy maann ((it feels criminal to use emojis on tumblr)) 😭😭)

- if lasko calling freelancer “my dear” when you first met him in the haven was a sneak peek for his later ((is the word prime for like normal redacted universe characters i can’t remember, like prime lasko yada yada)) listeners name

- if no one was watching gavin WOULD HE HAD BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF IMP!HUXLEY???

(the amount of shit talking hux did when freelancer and gavin first get to the haven had me ready to fight in an instant ((it mightve just been my overwhelming adoration for gavin but still)) like he was acting like an annoying jock who gets a job as security for some fuck ass rich university and thinks hes on top of the world like dont piss me off huxley or damien gets it in the other universe so help me god)

- is anyone else as attracted to the tension between vincent and asher in imperium as i am..

(i have no words for how “yippee kicking my feet happy smiley kiss now kiss now what if u kissed rn” i was when asher and vincent are talking but also i feel like pet ((is that vincents listeners name or vegas I CANT REMEMBER PLS)) was behind a door listening in and getting jealous bc “that should be me holding your hand..”

… excuse the outburst)

- vampire milo.. thats all

(GAWD hes so hot like he always is and always has been but jesus FUCKING christ theres something about him having been a vamp did something to me that i cant even explain)

- what was avior saying to lasko to make him irritated with him..

(i mean yeah hes a yapper but i feel like it was just “hey we need help down here” and lasko rolling his eyes and waiting two weeks before actually doing anything)

- WHERE TF IS ELLIOT WHERE TF IS SUNSHINE CAN I BEAT BLAKES ASS??

- what would have happened had milo not broken the ward

(again someone else mentioned this ((i would tag them but it was 6hrs ago and i was just scrolling and reading)) and now i cant stop thinking about it)

- what is avior hearing in his last video

(its been a while since ive actually listened to aviors playlist again but there was a voice or sounds he was hearing after getting out of the meridian and its just been on my mind)

- gavin having a myspace account

(he would love myspace i just know he would and i feel like he’d be an avid tumblr user but like its just him posting his favorite pics of himself from the week and updates on whatever small pet him and freelancer would very obviously inevitably get bc he saw it in a pet store or on the street and couldnt resist)

- what happens when freelancer gets old..

(freelancer is just that.. a freelancer. they arent a vamp, or a demon, or even some secret third thing.. what happens to them and gav when they get old. have they had that talk yet? i shouldnt think about this bc it makes me spiral into a bucket of tears and sadness bc its the same thing with sam and darlin’ like we wont know what theyll do when their partners get old and they are still young and immortal.. sigh 😔)

- can i cut the meridian open with a knife if i tried?

(how thin is the meridian? how easy is it to access? how long would it take me to literally stab it open? ((i have serious issues)) )

- imp!damien..

(yea i have a crush on him or whatever nothing crazy)

- is the person asher catches in imperium baabe or is it just random listener #18683 ?

(obviously my first thought when i listened to imperium like a year ago i thought baabe nd asher would be together ((i was delusional and on an asher high)) but then when it was revealed that he and david were mates in that universe did that mean baabe just doesnt exist or are they the person that gets caught by him or again some secret third thing)

- what happens to angel in the mess that is imperium, honestly what happens to all the shaw pack listeners

(obviously sweetheart is left out of this equation bc them and milo are still happily obsessed with each other in every universe BUT angel, baabe, and darlin where yall at??)

- WHERE ARE THE AND WHAT HAPPENED TO THE EMPATHY DEMONS IN IMPERIUM UNIVERSE??

(this just popped into my mind but WHERE IS MY SON?? what have u done with my son WHERE IS MY SON??!!?)

- is anyone else as obsessed with just erik and his mind?

(that handsome blessing to my youtuber universe.. i could listen to him babble for hours and will do so bc it feeds my “listening to nerdy man babble on abt his fixations” quota)

- what imperium versions of characters do people prefer over their counterparts

(personally i prefer imp! huxley, damien, and vincent over their prime versions ((still dont know if im using the term prime in the right context)) idk what it is but well i know what it is for huxley and damien but we dont need to get into why i dont like hux and dames rn :D but for vincent i just like seeing a different version of him i think.. hes so confident with his decisions, and knows what he wants in imperium i just want that for regular vince too.. sigh)

uhh anyways.. i think thats enough thinking for now, going back to sleep

stay safe out there

[snopiah]

look, i wasn’t an avid guapoduo enjoyer from the beginning, but the shit they pulled during Festa Junina really dragged me by the roots of my hair and told me to pay attention. Because why was Cellbit and Roier so good at making their characters pine for each other in the most subtle ways?

if you watched the Festa from an outside perspective you can see how Q!Cellbit and Q!Roier were constantly gravitating towards each other in every event. They were each stealing glances, but not talking! And when they did talk, there was so much tension!

And even in the occasion where they were separated, you get Q!Roier standing on the hill looking out longingly at Q!Cellbit as he plays “Never Have I Ever” with the rest of the Brazilian Polycule (lol). And after that you see Q!Cellbit looking up at Q!Roier having fun with the rest of the members up on the hill.

All while Q!Philza unknowingly captures the moment Q!Roier pines on the hill because he thought Roier looked funny lmao.

That shit??? Made me crazy???? And now i’m hooked and im kicking and giggling and twirling my hair.

[theoldoor]

LITTLE LATE POST BUT TALIA FENRIR CONTENT RAAGGGH

Remember Hermia? Fenrir’s little sister?

Yeaaah she’s relevant today. (IM SO HAPPY TO TALK ABT HER AND FENRIR)

So Hermia is known to be Avidity’s (Fenrir’s clan) trump card, she’s one of the very few that can operate radios and understand signals. But with her gift in physics, she found it hard to communicate with others and pick up on what they want - usually ending in them getting angry or her breaking down because she gets frustrated easily. In a place like Talia, patience is expensive as survival comes first, Hermia’s find no place with the people.

She doesn’t speak, non-verbal most of the time and often communicates through little signs in her little communicator device she developed for herself. The rest of the clan members distanced themselves from her and was usually unwilling to work with her because she’s easily stressed and doesn’t talk.

Before, one person that can calm her which was Stella and it would take a lot of work to get her to shimmer down. So, she’s just… kept as a weapon in the clan and has her own corner to do her own things. Isolated because no one else could handle her and Stella was often busy, only coming when Bronte needed Hermia to do something.

Hermia likes to be held. It reminds her of her mother’s warmth, which was long gone. Never asked because she knew she won’t be heard - it’s not like she could speak either.

That won’t be the case when Fenrir came along. Fenrir was tasked with watching over the kids for Stella when he first joined the clan. With his people-pleasing attitude, he looked after everyone and made sure no one was left out, that included Hermia.

He noticed that Hermia was bigger than the other kids but acted roughly more childish - he knew that she was going to be the isolated one. So Fenrir, being Fenrir, wanting to build trust with the clan, asked for more daycare work and grew popular with the kids- and Hermia too. He was patient, unlike others, and Hermia could recognize that Fenrir is one of the very few that still treasured humanity.

Now, when Hermia would have her outbreaks, she’d just come to cuddle with Fenrir. He was the only one who was willing to listen to her cries and soothe her without getting annoyed - he needed that validation too.

Fenrir would use gentle words, words that Stella had used but no one else.

Gentle words said with gentleness. That’s the difference.

He would hug her and pat her head, telling her “it’s okay.” Softly And reassure her, sometimes humming a soft melody to soothe her, he knew she enjoyed music more than words when she calmed down.

hermia knew she was never valued much more than a savior to the clan, but now she knew she was valued as a person to Fenrir. That’s also a good point of Fenrir i’d like to point out, he’d see humanity in everything. He’d see the goods in the evil, even if there’s not he’ll gaslight himself into thinking there is lol

CW//injured - depiction of blood

Little warning for blooodddd

During the TB mission, cutscene when Fenrir was heavily injured - yk getting shot in the head is pretty serious and aventurine/kakavasha got his ass dragged away by the IPC

Hermia was absolutely horrified, she was like, 13, being in a war and watching the only person who saw her as Hermia and not Radio girl getting harmed like that bro she’s shitting her pants in panic and fear. All she knew to do when someone was “angry” or “wild” was what Fenrir taught her, hug them, pat there head and reassure them with the gentle words. She, instead of running over to the injured Fenrir, she ran and hugged the robot which was still loading and shooting.

She took a shot, Fenrir was too exhausted and passed out.

Despite all the pain, she spoke for the first time, it was the same comforting words that Fenrir would always say to calm her down. She was just hoping to ‘calm down’ the robot, despite knowing that it won’t be calmed down but she was too scared to think rationally. She was crying, she was experiencing her planet, her clan, her family getting wiped before her eyes again - right after she found comfort.

its ok her hug actually has her desert terminal detecting the robot as danger and jolted the shit out of everyone so robot deactivated, hermia fried, fenrir shot. (they’ll live)

—-

Hermia’s clothes are sewn by Fenrir, after learning of Sigonia’s patterns from Aventurine/Kakavasha, Fenrir started sewing it on her clothes for fun too. She does like the cool designs.

I havent got her a full outfit design yet but will be heavily based on these lol + COULD NOT FORGET VASHRIR DUMP TOO

These are little snippets for tmr… ehueheueueh short stry coming soon… :eye: :eye:

[ludinusdaleth]

while people have many mixed thoughts about the off-kilter dynamics of the bells hells, i think it provides a very fascinating dichotomy.

from the beginning, ludinus has sowed mistrust in exandria. he grooms the dwendal line to despise every other country and seek isolationism above all else. he attempted to ensure chaos in jrusar so that it would be too difficult for them to react quickly to the bloody bridge. he banks on vasselheim refusing to take the aid or advice of the grim verity to take out both - the verity one by one, and vasselheim in a massive sweep at the key. but he also is known far and wide as a master negotiator. he helps negotiate the peace between wynandir & xhorhas (after war that he sparked - by working with the xhorhasian wizard essek). he keeps the peace between assembly members - hell, the fact he even managed to recreate the cerberus assembly, and created tentative peace between the empire & mages, is a feat in itself. he knows when to put his pride away and accept help. his very first spoken line is loudly agreeing with beau, a cobalt soul member, over the rest of his war council, and he (almost) humbly asks yudala for the cobalt souls aid, and before the nein ask a thing of him personally he ensures the cobalt soul cannot find yasha as guilty for obann's crimes - and absolutely, those actions are connected. he does everything to ensure he wins but he does it with grace, to the point he - avid god despiser who seeks to kill them all - sees fjords wildmother amulet.... points it out cheekily, and never reports it.

the bells, bless their hearts, they try, but they have barely any trust in them. they were already people utterly traumatized by betrayal before yu betrayed them, before fcg was revealed to be wired as a killer, before everything. they have tried to patch things and can communicate at this point but it is obvious even now they lack two very fundamental things - the internalization of the fact that ludinus is counting on discord to win, and most importantly, the ability to wholly agree on a set plan to a set goal. ludinus races with liliana to predathos with the understanding that he, liliana, & otohan are a team that must work as effectively as possible for a goal they collectively believe in. the bells have that loosely - stop ludinus. but the very road to getting there is rocky beyond belief. imogen is pressured by orym to dig into predathos's psyche just as she realizes she's scared of it, just as orym is losing himself to the soldier psyche, and laudna stares him down as she argues. they believe the end goal of their trust is to simply tell the others they're about to do something dangerous when hardly any of them can process they dont have to be cannon fodder. i am aware of the fact we dont have full vanguard context here, but often i think of otohan jeering at zathuda, an archfey, as she wholeheartedly sides with ludinus over him when the elf isnt even there, contrasted with orym pulling fearne aside to ask her to kill imogen if they need to.

ludinus has seen the rise & fall of so much. im sure he witnessed the selfishness of wizards like the somnovem or perhaps the original cerberus assembly. he took it as a lesson, and that is why he is at the top of the world while vess & trent & thousands of others faltered. the bells cannot often take their trauma and turn it into a healthy understanding. they are literal children in age compared to ludinus but many have a kind of arrested development as well due to their trauma, and it becomes more cruelly obvious the longer their quest continues. the difference between ludinus & the bells functionality is so staggering it is one of the most fascinating parts of c3 to me.

[terraliensvent]

Not a vent’ asking a question. Out of genuine curiosity do you actually like Terraliens as a species? A majority of CS vent blogs seemingly want the species to die or fail as an end result.

Isn’t the whole point of vent blogs to give people a space to actively point out problems to make the community better as a whole. Reblog to make it die faster or run out of the community feels conflicting to what the blog is actually supposed to achieve. Do you want it to get better? It seems like you do. Or are you actually hoping it gets worse to increase engagement.

So general question would be do you hate Terraliens? What’s the end goal for you? 🤔

this is a loaded question for me at the moment haha

personally, ive been in terras since april 2023, so basically since the start. ive seen every controversy pretty much first hand, was an avid reader of the terra blogs previous to mine, and terras was the first species i put my whole heart in and tried to interact with the community in. initially i really wanted the species to get better, when they had the suggestion threads i was an avid poster

then over and over again mods just kept failing in the simplest of ways. this blog was made february of 2024, a few months after the first psa and ownership change. i still thought terras could be good but there were just too many blockers, esp from coy and civ after learning some behind the scenes info from the psa

then the Reckoning came and i hoped it really would go down, if only that meant making the species totally open

when tycho became owner i really was hopeful considering the facts that previous mods completely disavowed vent blogs like mine, but shortly before he became owner tycho reached out to ask my thoughts on stuff around the species (you can see that in my post about The Reckoning), when the species fell in his lap i honestly thought there was going to be big change. for a while there was, like new assets in the item channels, feedback forms, etc. but then there were also the nagging issues that never went away from before, like hiring friends for staff, weird unspoken rules, and a horrible approval process

for the past few days ive been thinking, man this really doesnt seem like its worth it. the same issues are starting to pop up again, and the mods currently just twist and turn making up their justifications for moving the goalpost. i dont like a lot of the new designs, dont really have any myos i want to make, and im not pulled in by the new events.

my end goal initially when making this blog was that i wanted terras to get better and make the easy changes everyone wanted, but now i think the better course of action would be for it to die. make it an open species and just let people run with it, because over the 2 and a half years of this species there has never once been such an attitude of unity and happiness among terra community than on that one night in april where the species WAS open.

honestly? im days away from voiding all my terras and fucking all the way off (ill still stay in the server though, i couldnt imagine anyone else running this blog and i think its become a necessary place for everyone. i imagine there would be at least some outcry if i were to shut it down, lol). once i finish my current obligations, im trading all my shit. its exhausting to have been doing this back and forth for improvement for over 2 years now, and its just so much more effort than its worth when i could be putting my whole heart into other up-and-coming projects. it hurts when a thing you really loved and found happiness in just has too many glaring issues to ignore

i think its a bad look when most of your oldest members who have been there since near day 1 decide this shit isnt worth it anymore and want to be done with it. its a bad look when someone who cared so much to make full essays about this species on an entire blog dedicated to it decides that its just not worth trying to "fix" anymore.

and i kind of hope a lot of other members come to that same conclusion and cause it to die.

[space-station-nursery]

🌧️⸝⸝ Welcomes to Finns Dream! ⸝⸝☔

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Name:┊・𓂃 My name is Finnegan, but you can all call me Finn! Please do not call me Finnegan unless we are Moots, friends, or my partner Age:┊・𓂃 I am 20! Please do not DM me unless you are over 16. This is for my safety and yours. I love to interact with people but i have dealt with minors becoming attached/attracted and it is very scary. Anyone can offer me asks tho! Pronouns and orientation:┊・𓂃 My pronouns are They/Them ONLY !!! If you do not respect my pronouns we will have issues. I am also NB, panromantic, and on the asexual scale!

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☂️ ⸝⸝︰{Agere information} ・ ⁺　　○ 　 . 　 ⁺　　✦　　⁺ 　 . 　 ✦

Role:┊・𓂃 Flip leaning little! Status:┊・𓂃 I have a Husband/Carer! This is his tag > @fdtw1 ┊・𓂃 I do not have a "babysitter", but i do hang out with my best friend person @sleeplessjunkie who plays games with me and stays with me while FD is not home/will be occupied/at work. Theyre basically like a sitter, except were the same person /lh /j Nicknames:┊・𓂃 Babi (pronounced baa-bee) babi bear, baby bear, pumpkin, cutie patootie, Babi butt, babitayto (pronounced babi-tato) tatotay, babs Little type:┊・𓂃 I am a very Quiet little i've realized. There is a ton of trauma surrounding my regression and it was very hard to regress. Now, with the help of my husband(CG) There is hope! I can only regress for small periods of time, and it needs to be assisted but its a great start and i hope that when we live together itll boost my regression more! Comfort items:┊・𓂃 My paci's (i have 2 !!) Kitty; a very old stuffed cat, any of my blankets, my games, my books, my bubby!

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⛈️ ⸝⸝︰{Personal information} ・ ⁺　　○ 　 . 　 ⁺　　✦　　⁺ 　 . 　 ✦

Timezone:┊・𓂃 CST\\Central standard time! Likes:┊・𓂃 I love to play and stream video games, I bake, cook, and am an avid reader! Books are a must for me (im saving for a library) I also love making things like discord servers and such! And my bubby, ofc! I also am learning to make paci's which also will become a hobby, and learning about mental health!!! Dislikes:┊・𓂃 Bugs, bugbugsbugs, bugs, being purposely misgendered, my friends being purposely misgendered, Confrontation (bubby handles this), being flirted with, false accusations, uh-.. OH and also bugs :} Triggers:┊・𓂃 Anything about bugs, Discussions of ||S.A|| as well as any media portraying or discussing it, seeing/hearing/talking about NSFW topics, confrontation/accusations, Generally being a jerk to me or my friends/bubby Boundaries:┊・𓂃 Please don't ask me to be your Little. My dms are open for anyone +16 or -26 (i had a bad past with older individuals on tumblr) Listen to me when i tell you no, i mean it. If you would like to be moots/friends, please at least interact with my posts, its incredibly uncomfortable to have random txts from people asking to be friends that just followed 3 minutes before. And thats all for now!

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☁️ ⸝⸝︰{Tags} ・ ⁺　　○ 　 . 　 ⁺　　✦　　⁺ 　 . 　 ✦

Finns Moodies\\moodies:┊・𓂃My tag for any moodboards i create (not moving) Finns Stimmies\\stimmies:┊・𓂃 My tag for any stimboards i create (moving) W.O.T:┊・𓂃 My tag for any outfit boards i create. Generally may be used in my little servers Bubby's happy homework:┊・𓂃 My tag for any activity sheets posted! Make sure to reblog the posts with your sheets so we can see it!! For Bubby:┊・𓂃 My written posts tag! Any tips, announcements, etc will be used under this tag Babi things:┊・𓂃 My "copyright" tag-... ish. Anything i create on here will be tagged with this Babi reblogs:┊・𓂃 My reblog tag Babi reports:┊・𓂃 My tag for posting people who are unsafe to interact with the community. Generally may have broken my DNI Babi answers:┊・𓂃 My answers tag! AgereSupport:┊・𓂃 My tag to boost my regression server! It is verification locked and loves new members DinoLovers:┊・𓂃 My husbands regression server! It is also verification locked but it much smaller than agere support (think 250 members smaller) RainyDayPacis:┊・𓂃 My shop tag! Any pacis for sale that may be posted, Business stuff, or customs will be posted under this tag!!

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💙 ⸝⸝︰{My stuff} ・ ⁺　　○ 　 . 　 ⁺　　✦　　⁺ 　 . 　 ✦ ┊Schedule・𓂃

✩⸜⸜ Mood/Stimboards ✩⸜⸜ Text post (tips, links, etc) ✩⸜⸜ Wear or tear! (W.O.T) ✩⸜⸜ Worksheets ✩⸜⸜ Positive quotes/affirmations These have no specific Dates, they will be posted as I see fit! Each post will be sent at 12pm (dont know when that is? find my timezone above)

┊Anons・𓂃

✨, (☀🐝), 🩷 Ask me a question or claim an emoji to show up here! <3

┊Creative stuff・𓂃

These are my DNI banners! These are NF2U//NFU and all created by @fdtw1 !!!! If you would like to commission a DNI banner, feel free to leave an Ask and bubby will see it!

⛅ ⸝⸝︰{Links} ・

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Carrd:┊・𓂃 TBD

Pronouns page:┊・𓂃 https://en.pronouns.page/@FinnegansTravels

Instagram:┊・𓂃 https://www.instagram.com/rainydaypaci/

Twitch:┊・𓂃 https://www.twitch.tv/finneganstravels AgereSupport.Net Discord:┊・𓂃 https://discord.gg/35xMMYsUZQ Dino Lovers Discord:┊・𓂃 https://discord.gg/YrDVpf9uqn

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What is a DNI? These are "Do not interact" boundaries, this means that if your blog meets any of these criteria you may be blocked\banned\removed from a persons socials. Below are my DNI's so make sure to read them!

・Are anti-agere/agedre(or petre/petdre), an NSFW blog/"SFW" kink blogs like Dd!g/abd!/md!b and other variants. Are an 18+ only blog, Terf, etc. Anything that you would not show a child does not belong here ・Bigotted individuals or peoples that believe in Anti-LGBTQIA+, Pro-ana, Pro-SH, Anti-recovery, MIKs or MAPs, Extreme left/right views, Pro-life, Pro-war, transmed, Pro-mia, Anti-Neos/Xenos. ・Over the age of 27. While you could be a regression blog, and completely SFW, individuals over the age of 27 can become a trigger due to my PTSD. Minors are always welcome, although I most likely will not follow back ・Are a blank blog. This means no banner, profile pictures, posts or names. Blogs like those tend to become a problem for me and i dont wish to deal with it

Failure to read my banner at the bottom of my posts/My DNI when following my blog may be immediate removal for any reason. I am not afraid to block/report users

Note: Thank you for 100 followers!! This is my updated pinned post so you can all get to know me a little better! Cant wait to talk to you all soon !! ⁺　　○ 　 . 　 ⁺　　✦　　⁺ 　 . 　 ✦

[academicsurvivorscomicproject]

Academic Survivors (ask blog :))

(hello tumblr! this is a little passion project of mine if you will , It's a comic im planning on making in the future when i improve in digital art (and when im less busy) but for now so i would appreciate if you send some asks along my merry way :D most asks will probably be answered in traditional art so i hope you dont mind that!)

Watch and hopefully ask as four idiots along with their group of survivors manage to survive an apocalypse (with something more sinister hidden beneath the surface) Main Characters : Debbie Hak-geon (She/Her) Jady Faith (She/Her) Dae-Eun (He/Him) Hanaul (She/Her) Debbie : the stoic , sarcastic , stone-faced one of the bunch! (with a secret soft side but dont tell anyone) , she has a little pet tabby cat she adopted named "World Destroyer" , and it is very evil mind you . a daughter of an Ex-yakuza leader turned good and an ex-special forces member , does two right equal one wrong? well its time to find out Jady Faith : the smartest one of her peers (which isn't saying much) a bubbly and optimistic christian with a personality so bright it might actually blind you! but dont be fooled by her little miss perfect cover , she can be VERY surprisingly violent when she needs to (and surprisingly good at it too) . Hallelujah! Dae-Eun : a class monitor , the responsible one of the group , the only one with self preservation , the glue of the gang! and to be honest , the only reason any of them are still alive . a natural born leader with the personality to match it , strict , intimidating , and ran out of fucks to give a long time ago! Hanaul : im in love with an emoo gorlll!!! the dark and mysteriouss one of her group (or at least she tries to be) , an avid axe wielder in the apocalypse (she probably prepared for this moment for her entire life) a rebellious version of a pompous rich kids , with her mother being a CEO of a famous clothing brand and her father being a head financial leader of a popular phone industry . with her parents being away with meeting most of the time , while a butler (with a strange similarity to Alfred) deals with her batman-levels of brooding (he needs to get paid more)

(yes i know its REALLY bad but i tried </3) there are two types of asks you can send Pre apocalypse (before the zombies n stuff happen , aka normal teenage school stuff Post apocalypse (after zombie stuffs happen) and you will HAVE to specify if you want to ask the pre apocalypse gang or i will automatically assume you meant to ask the post apocalypse gang , for example : "Pre apocalypse gang : what is your favourite animal?" enjoyy :DD

[allyssl]

Hey! This is TMNT: Children of the Sky Mikey and Leo from Cabin 16 with a survey: who's the most artistic member of your AU/iteration's family?

@tmnt-fandom-family-reunion

Brain has finally let me answer asks again >:3

about 307 worbz

"Omigosh! You look so cool!" Mikey's front legs excitedly drummed against the ground as he looked over the turtles in front of xem with flappy arms. It took im a second to register the question heart was asked. "Oh! Oh! Okay so, Dee calls me our art jack sometimes 'cause I draw, paint, and do little crafts. Everyone does something though!"

Raph pat Angel on the head with a light chuckle as she was essentially passed the mic. He rubbed at his neck with her free hand as his tail idly swayed. "Raph sews sometimes. It's mainly plushies and such."

Donnie leaned against Ray's side, a hand on their chest as they continued the conversation with a playful smirk. "I, contribute to the wonders of art through my inventions. Annoyed grumble, I'd normally have a full demonstration, but a certain oldest sister of mine didn't want me to slip in any bombs."

Leo chuckled as he leaned on Donnie's other side, squishing his now quietly hissing twin against their oldest brother. "I'm not really in the artsy tent of the family, but I do collect rocks."

Donnie headbutt the side of Leo's head before speaking with the most shit eating grin they could have. "Oh but Nardo, don't lie to the people. For you see, my dearest twin here is an avid writer. Particularly within the J-"

Leo sputtered, getting out a strangled, "Sh-Shut up!" as he quickly held Don's snout closed. The softshell hissed louder, less than five seconds from trying to full on scuffle with Leo before Raph grabbed their shells and air jailed them. "Can y'all quit your middle child nonsense right now? Save it for the cabin where we can actually keep score."

He got twin responses of "Fine" as the twins went limp and simply looked around from their new vantage point.

[rollercoasterwords]

i am sorry if this sounds like i'm sending this in bad faith i know it sounds a bit rude but i swear i'm not trying to be. i'm genuinely curious about your reasoning behind this. (im a dorlene fan myself and idc about rosekiller).

don't you think it's a bit hypocritical shipping dorlene but saying you hate rosekiller bc they're nobodies in canon? i mean, arguably we have more canon info on barty than any of the other three together. or is there more to it that i'm missing?

lol no worries i will do my best 2 answer <3

so, a hypocrite/hypocrisy is essentially telling people that u think they should behave in a certain way/conform to a certain moral standard when u urself do not. if i was telling people, "you shouldn't enjoy shipping characters when there's very little canon info about them," and then i shipped dorlene, that would be hypocritical. but i'm always very clear that i'm not trying to enforce any standards on what people should or shouldn't ship, and that when i'm ranting about ships i hate it is simply my own personal preference + me having fun being a hater on my silly little tumblr blog, y'know? like, i usually throw in a little disclaimer somewhere going "ship what u want, it doesn't matter, i just don't like this ship, etc etc," just bc i know people get weird about their ships in this fandom and it just. genuinely does not matter 2 me if there are people out there in the world shipping rosekiller. like u do ur thing! just....do it far away from me lol.

also, i mean. although all those characters don't have much canon information, there are pretty significant differences in the canon information we do have about them. i usually just don't really get into this as a reason bc i don't want it to sound like i'm moralizing, becase, again, i genuinely do not care and do not think it's like...morally bad if someone wants to ship rosekiller. but! for the sake of explaining why i, personally, love dorlene + hate rosekiller, here are some differences:

in canon, the only thing we know about evan is that he's a death eater who blew off part of moody's nose (? i think. or was it his eye?) before moody killed him. that backstory holds....zero interest to me. i don't find it compelling. and if ur just plucking the name out of that and erasing all canon backstory...well. i also do not find that compelling.

similarly, while barty crouch jr. has more canon info than any of these other three characters, everything we know about him is that he is a very avid death eater and clear villain. personally, i'm not that interested in exploring his character! i think there's certainly potential for a story about how he got to that point, sure, but....idk. i'm not really interested in it. and i'm even less interested if, again, we're just erasing all that canon info and making him an oc....like, sure, go ahead and do that if u want. i just don't want to!

marlene's canon backstory is that she was a member of the order whose entire family was murdered. dorcas's backstory is that she was a member of the order who voldemort killed himself. what got me interested in them as characters was the headcanon that tied those backstories together, that dorcas went hunting for revenge after marlene's death and ultimately voldemort had to take her out because she did so much damage. i thought that was interesting! i found it compelling! it planted a seed in my brain that grew an entire massive story, and now i will love those characters forever simply because i spent so much time playing paper dolls with them in my head.

also, if ur handing me two blank-slate pairs of characters to ship, and one says GAY and one says LESBIAN and the rest is all fill in the blanks....well call me crazy boys but i'm gonna pick lesbian every time i think. that's just the way we roll over here at rollercoasterwords.tumblr.com <3

[starkid256]

PLEASE DO NOT LOOK UNDER CUT BEFORE READING THIS!

so if you dont know, im a very avid user in the bdhs community. i go on the discord server often and have a badlydrawn blog of my own (@badlydrawngcat). now, ive been making a sort of au/mspfa/concept/whatever of hs where i put my ocs in homestuck. it follows the basic plot of hs but with a few different twists and turns. my partner is the coauther, too. ive always thought of making a badlydrawntriostuck blog, so ive decided with the decision help of some other bdhs members that i will. however, both the urls "triostuck" and "badlydrawntriostuck" are open. so, what do i do?

what i mean by the third option is to have "triostuck" be just about triostuck in general and "badlydrawntriostuck" to be the badly drawn blog

also if you do vote "other" then PLEASE ACTUALLY SAY WHAT YOURE THINKING IN THE TAGS! last time i tried a poll with the other option, it got like 7 votes but only 2 actual suggestions.

thank you for your time.

@vilkat-pyrope