#im not working on anything else until valentines day is out i promise

[remotewatch]

ok fear not im still finishing up the task at hand but separate from that, how do we feel about jack calling the reader mommy

[ritsufeet]

don’t forget to kiss me!

kisses [ ft. s. ritsu, k. mika ]

or else you’ll have to miss me! in which ritsu won’t let you leave his side until you pepper him all over with kisses, and mika will ought to miss you if he doesn’t.

inspired by glue song from the one and only beabadoobee !!

all works from luvmouche and ritsufeet on tumblr

𒁷 sfw! happy late valentines! :)

𒁷 cw// lots and lots of smooching, clinginess, normal college au, blushing, flustered mika, ritsu’s so cheeky and cute im gonna bite his face off, mika’s so silly lalala

happy (late) valentine’s day, have this instead of a new smau chap (which will come soon, probably) i hope you’re as giddy as i was while writing this silly fic made from pure imagination (ritsu please come home)

sakuma, ritsu

as soon as you wake up, all you feel is a pair of hands running their cold fingers around your body and snaking them around your waist tightly, clinging onto you like a kitten.

you rub the excess sleep from your eyes and attempt to escape……. it’s useless. your snugly boyfriend just won’t let you go!

he whines and cries for you not to leave him, especially since it’s valentine’s day. you had to get up at some point in time, right?

well… you were wrong. you stayed in bed with him for at least another 15 minutes. you were sure he’d fallen asleep again and you attempted to escape,,, again. didn’t work the last time, wouldn’t work this time.

how would you get out of his grasp…… what a pain. this cheeky brat.

“ritsu… i need to get up.” you groaned, turning to face him. his eyes were lidded, barely even awake. long, pretty eyelashes and ruby irises blink and open to the sight of you frowning. he pouts, “but.. it’s valentine’s day. you’re supposed to stay with me, you know? you’re so unfair,, i can’t have a single day with you without you leaving me to go somewhere else. do you not love me anymore?”

you softly chuckle, running your fingers through his nappy hair and kissing his nose. “of course i love you, ritsu. wouldn’t it be more fun on valentine’s day if we actually got up and did something?” he pulls you closer, burying his face in your chest. “so warm… i could spend all valentine’s day doing nothing if all i had to do was sleep with you.” he mumbles, rubbing his hands along your back.

“..seriously?” you pat his head, huffing. he nods, “seriously. i don’t need to go anywhere or do anything, as long as i’m with you—nothing else in this world matters.” you can’t help but smile at his words, pulling him in closer. “nothing else? not even your dearest maa-kun?” you tease, but ritsu obviously did not like that with the way he pulls away from your chest and frowns. “don’t bring maa-kun into this, (name)…” he pauses, cupping your cheeks and pressing his lips to yours. “i love you both equally… maybe you a little bit more if you’d stay with me.”

“what a shame that i can’t stay longer, hm?” you feign a sad face, looking down at the sheets and avoiding looking him directly in his face. ritsu frowns once more, kissing you along your jawline. “fine.. i guess if you wanna leave so bad, i’ll let you……on one condition, okay?” your ears perk up and you’re met with a disappointed, sulking ritsu. “oh, don’t be sad, my love.”

you kiss his forehead, then under his eyes—next thing you know, you’re peppering gentle kisses baked with genuine love all over his face and he can’t help but let up his sad facade and smile like an idiot. once you finally pull your lips away from his face, you can see the blush that’s dusted all over his cheeks.

“you know that wherever i go in this world, there’s not a single moment where i don’t have you on my mind. there isn’t a single time where i won’t return back to your arms, so don’t be sad, okay? i promise.” you push his hair back, placing it on his ear. “i love you, ritsu. now, what are your conditions?”

“…well. i can’t say no to you now…” he sighs, his arms leaving your waist and his hand now holding yours. “plus, you’ve already met them, so just go on already… i’ll be waiting for you, don’t break your promise, okay? i’ll seriously never forgive you if you do, and i won’t ever hold you again…” he says, kissing your hand one last time.

kagehira, mika

oh, sweet mika. he’s been so busy with work that he’s practically forgot about you!

at least, that’s what he’s worried about. he’s never known someone as gentle, loving, and patient as you.

he wanted to show his appreciation for you with a gift, just like how oshi-san taught him! with just a little bit of sowing—his love etched into the needle and the fabrics of his creation—and the glue that’s sticking him to you. :)

it took so much of his time that he thinks you’ll be mad that he hasn’t spent as much time with you as he should… he misses you so much, it’s driving him crazy. your voice, your touch, and most importantly—your lips.

so don’t be too surprised when he suddenly drops everything at his feet to see you, embracing you so tightly and never letting you go.

you were so surprised that you nearly lost your balance before he caught you. “m— mika? what’s wrong? this is unusual…” you giggle, rubbing his back. “ah���! ‘m sorry, (name)… i haven’t been payin’ much attention to ya, have i?” he withdraws from your body and fiddles with his fingers, nervously. you shake your head, “it’s fine, mika. it’s not like i’m going anywhere anytime soon, so don’t worry your pretty head off.”

his mismatched eyes look at you, desperate to say something. you tilt your head, curious. “do you have something to say, mika? go on, you can say it.” you smile, gently taking his hand and giving it a few squeezes. “right… i made a lil’ somethin’ for ya… i hope ya like it, (name)!!”

it was a pretty white bear, decorated with a lovely pastel pink bow with an adorable yellow bell on it’s neck and a cute ‘x’ on the eyes. the nose black, and ears a shade of pink. it was stitched carefully, and put together with the love of your sweet, hard-working boyfriend. “this is why you haven’t been seeing me lately? you’re so cute, mika. don’t think for one second that i’ll be upset just ‘cause you haven’t been paying attention to me, silly.”

you pinch his cheeks as softly as you could, and press a kiss to his forehead. “thank you so much, my love. i’ll cherish it until the day i die.” his whole face turns a cherry red, but his eyes glint with overflowing happiness. “b- but yer not dyin’ yet, (name)! ‘m gotta marry ya first!” he spurts out, and you laugh. “and i’ll happily accept your proposal, mika. always. thank you so much, dear. i love you.”

“‘m so happy,, i could cry… i love ya too, (name).” he grins, then he looks at the mess he made by dropping everything all at once on his desk. he panics, “i gotta clean this up b’fore oshi-san gets angry.. this is bad! will ya help me, (name)? ‘m so sorry…” he rushes to his desk, picking up the small needles that dropped onto the floor. you chuckle, “i’ll help. don’t worry, it’ll be like you never dropped anything in the first place.”

a/n: happy valentine’s day!!!!!!!!!! i’m sorry my posting schedule is so inconsistent and lacking…….but i’ll try to get off of my hiatus as soon as possible. here’s a small valentine’s day fic to make up for the loss

(normal fic taglist) taglist - @kzmeru @kavehsring @envyemu

[hongism]

give and take - k.ys, j.wy, k.hj 18+

pairing; wooyoung x yeosang x hongjoong genre; angst, smut, 18+, the angst isn’t bad i swear it’s temporary wc; 16.8k summary; watching the two people he has feelings for come together in a relationship that holds some of the greatest moments of intimacy. and sure, yes, yeosang acknowledges that it could be something purely physical for them, but that doesn’t negate the fact that the two people he has feelings for are fucking and have been fucking right under his nose for the last several weeks. warnings; explicit smut, fingering, oral sex: m, dirty talk, praise, lil degradation, slight exhibitionism and voyeurism, explicit smut, multiple orgasms, come sharing, masturbation, handjobs, threesome, sub woo, sub yeo, dom joong, yaknow the works an; happy belated valentine’s day! i hope you all enjoy muahmuah xx also this is grossly unedited im sorry but my internet is gonna go out again at any second and i just wanna post this ;;-;

﹊﹊﹊

It starts, as many things do, with a little bit of jealousy. And honestly, Yeosang could not for the life of him tell you what exactly that jealousy was in the slightest (at least that is what he tries to convince himself on nights where his thoughts all but consume him). He was not the first to notice the sudden dynamic shift between Hongjoong and Wooyoung, and he was positively certain that the others would catch up soon enough. He was the third to detect the shift in their demeanors around each other; Seonghwa obviously being the first since he’s so close with Hongjoong and apparently has to vacate his own bedroom whenever Wooyoung disappears inside. Jongho, the ever-observant and perceptive youngest, was the second to notice, and he is actually the one who prompted Yeosang to take a deeper look into what was going on.

At first, Yeosang thought nothing of it. Hongjoong and Wooyoung had been getting closer, moving past those first fumbling awkward moments they had in the beginning and blossoming into a closer relationship. It seemed only natural for the two of them to spend more time together. Then Jongho pulled him aside one day after Wooyoung quite deliberately turned down the opportunity to play games with San and Yunho. 

“What’s going on with Wooyoung-hyung and Hongjoong-hyung?”

Yeosang had blinked dumbly at the younger and made some sort of dumb noise asking why Jongho would be bringing the question to him of all people, then it sunk in that of course he would bring it to Yeosang. Yeosang is both the one who has known Wooyoung the longest — and is subsequently the closest with the younger brunette — as well as Wooyoung’s roommate, so he spends a considerable amount of time with the man.

“He’s not mentioned anything to me?”

Yeosang cursed himself then for sounding so dumb and unsure, but it was the truth in the very least, and Jongho gave a slight shrug before walking away with a shady ‘maybe you should pay closer attention, hyung’ that left Yeosang glaring at the spot where the youngest just stood. 

Pay closer attention to what?

Yeosang didn’t have any idea what exactly he was supposed to be paying attention to, so he just did what he thought he did best, which was observing from the sidelines. One good thing about being quiet by nature was being able to examine conversations and interactions with greater care, as well as listen in on things that perhaps he should not be listening to but sometimes the others are just too loud for him not to overhear.

After Jongho mentions it to him though, Yeosang truly does start picking up on things. How Hongjoong snaps at Wooyoung in practice only to give him a twisting smirk afterward, how Wooyoung side-eyes the leader before dipping into the bathroom on movie nights, and especially how Hongjoong always waits three minutes and forty-five seconds before getting up to head down the hall proclaiming to need ‘sleep’. Yeosang is positive the two are doing something behind everyone’s backs — well everyone except Seonghwa, because the eldest always stares after Hongjoong’s back as the man departs with a look in his eye that Yeosang is incapable of placing. 

The most important thing is that Wooyoung is spending less and less time with Yeosang, and consequently, Hongjoong too is spending less time with Yeosang. And the visual truly didn’t think there was anything wrong with it at first. He wasn’t bothered or bent out of shape about the increase in their shady encounters or whatever it is they’re up to because he didn’t think it was too out of the ordinary. 

Then Wooyoung asked for a raincheck on their typical Thursday evening ramen stop. Yeosang saw him darting off to the studio moments after, and he didn’t return to their shared room until Hongjoong did. (Yeosang definitely did stay up waiting for either man to return; he didn’t need the confirmation, of course, he could have just assumed, but what’s several hours of lost sleep to him now?)

And after that, Hongjoong canceled one of their producing sessions together saying that he was simply too busy that day to check in on Yeosang’s progress. He had promised to look over his work and listen to his song when they returned to the dorms, but when Yeosang packed his things and left the studio for the day, he saw a very distinctly Wooyoung-shaped figure dipping into Hongjoong’s studio behind him. 

Yeosang thought he wasn’t one to get jealous. He thought he had learned that lesson the painful way when Wooyoung started casting him to the side to spend time with San instead of him, then when Hongjoong and Seonghwa called him out for the behavior, the issue had been resolved and Wooyoung returned to giving him ample amounts of attention. So truly, Yeosang cannot understand why he feels the small stirrings of jealousy in his gut whenever he sees Wooyoung running to Hongjoong. And even worse are the nagging jealousies that come when the leader is the one to seek Wooyoung out. Yeosang cannot for the life of him rectify that one, because why is he jealous of his best friend for simply spending time with Hongjoong?

He cannot admit it out loud, but in the nights where he finds himself staying up late and waiting for Wooyoung to return with Hongjoong, he thinks deeply about those curling tendrils in his gut. 

Yeosang has come to the conclusion that for once in his life, he does not like this because it makes him feel like he is missing out on something. That is a startling realization in and of itself because Yeosang has never been one to care much about those sorts of things — it just isn’t in his character or personality — so at first he denied that possibility and tried to look to other sources. When nothing else could ever make sense in his mind, Yeosang just had to accept that this was a new and growing feeling to work through. And perhaps it has something to do with the other emotions swirling through his gut that he refuses to name.

Which lands him where he is now: outside Hongjoong and Seonghwa’s door with hand raised and ready to knock on the wood. It isn’t Wooyoung and Hongjoong inside though, not at this time of day, but rather Seonghwa, the one who has the most amount of contact with Hongjoong and also the one who vacates the room whenever Wooyoung comes running over. So if anyone is going to be able to cure Yeosang’s illness that is Not Knowing What the Fuck is Going on, it will 100% be Seonghwa. Yeosang dares to bring his knuckles down on the wood and raps against the door several times before he hears Seonghwa make a noise from inside the room. 

“Hey, Woo, he’s not here right — oh, Yeosang!” Seonghwa blinks several times at the man before him as though he cannot believe that it is Yeosang and not his best friend standing in front of the door. “Are you looking for Hongjoong too? I’m afraid he’s still holed up in the studio right now.”

“W-What? No, no, hyung, I was looking for you,” Yeosang says with a quick shake of his head. Seonghwa’s eyes remain wide in surprise as he speaks, but once the words process, the older steps to the side and beckons for Yeosang to enter the room.

“Don’t be a stranger, of course, sit wherever you’d like. I was just reading a bit.”

Yeosang has no earthly idea how long this conversation might take. For all he knows, it could take a whopping two minutes or perhaps thirty minutes that falls into a lecture about jealousy and all that. So he resolves to perch on the edge of Hongjoong’s lower bunk, nudging one of the stray plushies to the side to make room for himself while Seonghwa pulls the chair from the desk to sit across from Yeosang. It already feels like something of an intervention, and Yeosang makes a note to choose his words very carefully to avoid sounding too upset or jealous about the situation. 

“Has Wooyoung mentioned anything to you recently?” He starts, but perhaps that isn’t the best place to start at all, he realizes once the question is already out.

“Is there something he is supposed to have mentioned?” Seonghwa asks, tilting his head further to the side. 

“No, like — that’s not what I mean. Has he said anything—” This is the moment of truth for Yeosang. Either Seonghwa picks up on his jealousy in an instant, or he receives a straightforward answer and moves on with his life with at least a bit of understanding. “—anything about why he’s spending so much time with Hongjoong-hyung these days?”

“Hm?” Seonghwa seems genuinely perplexed by the question for a considerable amount of time, eyes darting down to look at a spot on the floor as he mulls over the question. Then, he shakes his head a few times and draws his lips into a tight purse. “Not to me at all, no. Has something happened between you two? Is he not speaking with you? Did you have a falling out? If something happened the—”

“No, no, hyung, please,” Yeosang interjects in a rush. Seonghwa cuts his thoughts short with a small frown, and Yeosang knows he is going to have to offer more of an explanation than that to ease the older’s worries. There is a bit too much shame burning at his gut presently though, a nagging and lingering feeling of embarrassment as he realizes he will inevitably have to admit that he is jealous of all things. And that is going to be another issue because Seonghwa knows him almost better than Wooyoung does, and the older for sure knows that Yeosang is never one to be jealous. 

“It’s okay if the two of you are having issues, Yeosang. It happens to everyone, especially people who have known each other for as long as you and Wooyoung have. I’m not trying to insinuate anything of course, but I just want you to know that there’s nothing to be ashamed of if that’s the case.”

God, Yeosang wants to crawl into a tiny hole and die more than anything else right now because fuck this feeling.

“I’m just — I’m only asking because h-he turned San down the other night to spend time with Hongjoong. He has never done that. He and San are th-the closest and they never turn down the opportunity to spend time with each other, and it seems so odd that he would deny San so that he could spend time with‌ Hongjoong instead, and that’s just weird. It’s weird, and he doesn’t talk about it with me, he doesn’t mention it or anything like that, then he goes off and forgoes our plans together to be with Hongjoong too. And that’s fine, yeah, like they should spend time with each other, I don’t mind that part. Just… Hongjoong did it too and rain checked one of our producing lessons because he was apparently too busy with his own work and — and...”

Yeosang’s voice dies in his throat when he finally brings his gaze up to look Seonghwa in the eye, and the expression staring back at him is so raw and understanding that Yeosang cannot physically force any words out at that point. A small smile curls at the edges of Seonghwa’s lips, he huffs out a quiet laugh, and then his chin dips closer to his chest as the laugh overwhelms him. Yeosang, on the other hand, feels positively childish and stupid now that the admission is out there.

“I told them people would start noticing,” Seonghwa mutters more to himself than to Yeosang, but the younger picks up on the comment nonetheless. So he does know what’s going on between them. “Listen, Yeosang, yes, Wooyoung and Hongjoong are spending lots more time together. Yes, they are being a bit inconsiderate when it comes to the other members, but they are… at a phase in their relationship with each other where it’s easy to get caught up and spend unearthly amounts of time together. I have talked with both of them before about being a bit less persistent and intense, as well as prioritizing other people before themselves. But I am more than happy to talk with them about it again if it would help satiate your hurt feelings a bit?”

At least Seonghwa didn’t call him out on his jealousy. He should be grateful for that much. Why isn’t he grateful for that much? Oh, because of whatever the fuck Seonghwa’s rant is supposed to mean. ‘At a phase in their relationship with each other where it’s easy to get caught up and spend unearthly amounts of time together?’ What the hell is that supposed to mean? Seonghwa is still smiling like he knows, and Yeosang is fully aware that Seonghwa does truly know because there is that lingering odd emotion behind his eyes again that Yeosang despises so much.

“I — wait, what?” Yeosang’s brain is running on pure fumes at this point. The confusion has mounted into something immense, and he hardly remembers why he was so upset at this point now because of the bewilderment rushing through his system.

“I can talk with them again if you’d like?” Seonghwa repeats his previous offer, eyes wide as he blinks at Yeosang and awaits an answer.

“No, the — the part about their relationship?”

Seonghwa glances off to the side, and he seems to think over what he’s said before his eyes widen a bit in shock.

“A-Ah! Um, no, don’t — I don’t mean anything crude, of course!” Anything crude? Yeosang’s mind certainly wasn’t going down that path before but now that Seonghwa has mentioned that, it is now. And frankly, that throws him off more than anything else because he never would have assumed that that is what was going on behind those closed doors or anything. He has known Wooyoung swings both ways with little care since well before Wooyoung knew himself, and well, Hongjoong told the whole group that he’s pansexual when they chose him to be the leader because of transparency and honesty or some shit like that but... still. Yeosang would expect something like that to happen between Wooyoung and San but with Hongjoong? He can’t even imagine that — not that he wants to imagine it! He would never do that!

Yeosang’s cheeks flush a deep red when he realizes what Seonghwa means, and the older in turn figures out that Yeosang’s mind was indeed not traveling down that path and he has just caused it to. It’s a disaster, truly, and neither of them seem put together enough to even try to recover the situation. All Seonghwa does is push up from his chair and move towards the door. Yeosang doesn’t have time to wonder what the hell he’s doing or if he’s preparing to kick Yeosang out because when Seonghwa opens the door, it’s Wooyoung who stumbles in with a huff.

“Hyung,” he whines through a pout, not even taking notice of Yeosang’s presence on the edge of Hongjoong’s bed. “He sent me back here and said to wait another hour for him to come home. A whole hour!”

Seonghwa bears a strained smile, and he must look over in Yeosang’s direction because only then does Wooyoung shift and take note of the other presence in the room.

“Oh shit, were you guys — do I need to leave?”

“No, Woo, we were just having a chat,” Seonghwa insists, waving the younger man in. Wooyoung regards his best friend with a wary stare that has Yeosang’s stomach turning in knots several times before he swallows the feeling down. “Um, but since you’re here, this is the perfect opportunity to chat! Between the two of you!‌ So why don’t I step out and—”

“No, hyung, it’s okay.” Yeosang is the one to utter the words, and he does so as he pushes to his feet and away from Hongjoong’s bed. This is not what he came here to do, and yes, Seonghwa is right: they should talk, Yeosang should be honest about his feelings, but he also knows Wooyoung. He knows Wooyoung will whine and complain about Yeosang being too clingy or pointless jealousy or roll his eyes and unintentionally make Yeosang feel even worse about how he feels because that is just the way the other man is. It’s not from a bad place or a toxic place, merely Wooyoung’s way of handling issues, and inevitably Wooyoung will come crawling back to Yeosang’s bunk and cuddle him for a week straight before even thinking to hang out with another member. But right now, that isn’t what Yeosang wants. Mostly because he does not want to acknowledge his jealousy or the fact that it isn’t solely directed at Hongjoong spending time with Wooyoung. It is also directed at Wooyoung who is taking away from Yeosang’s time with the leader. Yeosang needs to work out those feelings before even thinking to discuss the issue with either man.

Seonghwa fixes him a startled glance, one that flits back to Wooyoung’s form several times, but Yeosang ignores it in favor of walking towards the door and replacing Wooyoung’s spot in the doorway. The oldest doesn’t seem pleased with his avoidance, as evidenced by the way he clamps a hand down hard around Yeosang’s arm before he can fully step out. 

“I don’t want to have to play the parent and mediate between the two of you here,” he hisses more to Yeosang than to Wooyoung, but the youngest of the trio hears the words nonetheless and blinks over at his best friend with a bewildered expression. It’s then that Yeosang knows with full clarity that he is completely and utterly caught. Even if he tries to escape now, Wooyoung will come running after him and demand an explanation. “If he hears it from you then he’ll be more like to pull his act together and realize that I’m being serious.”

“Is something going on?” Wooyoung inquires at last, voice much fainter than it had been before. Yeosang manages to slip one glare in Seonghwa’s direction before he dares to face Wooyoung head-on. 

“I just came to ask hyung why you seem to be spending so much time with Hongjoong these days.”

And Wooyoung has the nerve, he has the audacity, to actually look startled by that statement. Like he cannot believe that someone has caught on and realized how much time he’s spending with the leader, and he cannot believe Yeosang would go to Seonghwa of all people for answers. When Wooyoung shifts to look at the oldest, Yeosang doesn’t miss the way he sends a panicked expression of ‘what the fuck did you say to him’ and that’s when Yeosang’s mind really spirals.

At this point, he just wants to know what the fuck is going on so he can push his mind away from the gutter, but Wooyoung’s flushed cheeks and nervous glances are doing nothing to deter Yeosang from having the thought that perhaps Hongjoong and Wooyoung are spending their time together in a more intimate manner and he really needs to —

“He’s bothered by the fact that you keep shrugging him off for Hongjoong,” Seonghwa states, bringing Yeosang’s rampant thoughts to a screeching halt in an instant. “Which I told you both about before but you insisted th—”

“Hyung, it’s really okay, I just meant it as a harmless question, I’m not — it isn’t a big deal.” 

“Is this about me rain checking you on Thursday?” Wooyoung asks. He points an accusatory finger in Yeosang’s direction, and the older of the two is certain that he doesn’t mean it in an accusatory way but he feels pinned and cornered by the gesture either way. “Yeo, I’m really sorry about that. I just wasn’t feeling up to going out that day and—”

“But you went to hyung’s studio right after and didn’t come back until Hongjoong-hyung did,” Yeosang counters before he can stop himself. That lingering bitterness returns to his gut as he mentions the memory, along with the subsequent memory of Hongjoong pushing him to the side for time with Wooyoung.

“In the studio?! Are you two out of your minds?!” Seonghwa hisses and reels on Wooyoung, who blinks back like a deer caught in the headlights. 

“It’s — Yeosang is right there, hyung! Can’t you save the lecture for later? Or go chew hyung’s ear off instead of mine? It was his idea!”

“His idea? His idea! Of course it was. Let me guess: he felt bad for pushing me out of the room so much?” Seonghwa scoffs none too quietly. The bigger picture is started to come together, the puzzle pieces are slotting into place, and Yeosang is edging dangerously close to what he believes to be the truth. 

He can’t stand the suffocation that comes in the air a moment later, almost like his own throat is trying to choke him and end him right then and there. So, he does the only logical thing he can think of and slips out of the open bedroom door as Seonghwa snatches Wooyoung’s ear and tugs mercilessly on the cartilage. The content of their argument is no longer important, not with the knowledge Yeosang has gotten so far, and it’s frankly stupid that he is even feeling so… whatever he is feeling right now. He wanted an explanation, he wanted to know what secrets they were hiding behind closed doors, and all the signs are pointing to one thing Yeosang doesn’t want to imagine.

Yeosang unfortunately doesn’t make it even a foot outside the door before he is running face-first into someone, and judging by the height of the person he nearly just clobbered to the floor, it has to be none other than Hongjoong. Yeosang steadies himself on the other’s shoulders to keep them both from tumbling, and he brings a shaky gaze to the person’s features in search of a confirmation.

Sure enough, it’s Hongjoong, alright. Beanie squishing his mop of hair down, thick black-rimmed glasses sitting atop his dainty nose, and a bag slung over his shoulder that must contain his producing equipment. Yeosang says the only thing he can think of, which seems to be a common trend with him today.

“You’re back early.”

Hongjoong regards him with an expression of confusion and bewilderment, then Yeosang realizes that Hongjoong only told Wooyoung that part so he shouldn’t really have that knowledge, but then again, what’s the big deal? Why should it be odd for Wooyoung to tell his best friend something about their leader? Is that a secret for just the two of them to know as well? Or can Seonghwa be included in their little secret circle too?

“Yeah, I — I thought I would be able to focus but I kept getting distracted so I just packed up and came home to work on stuff instead.”

Yeosang dares to ask.

“Can I come by and work with you on some stuff then?”

“A-Ah, maybe in a bit? I’ll text you and let you know. I really need to hunker down on these…” Hongjoong trails off and rubs at the back of his neck. Yeosang doesn’t miss the way the older man glances off towards the door to his and Seonghwa’s bedroom. 

“Yeah, of course, hyung, no worries,” he forces out, adding a tight smile that he hopes will ease Hongjoong’s stress a bit. The older nods as Yeosang steps out of the way, heading into the bedroom without further ado. 

There is no real reason for Yeosang to stick around so he doesn’t; he merely heads for the living room and makes himself at home on the couch, perching on the cushions in a way that gives him a clear view directly down the hall. He has one more lasting curiosity, and he’s determined to get the answer right now rather than waiting god knows how long for the next opportunity. Thus, he waits. Two minutes pass, then ten, along with some slightly raised voices and Yeosang is sure that Seonghwa is chewing them both out in there, but he can’t make out anything of what they’re saying. Then after twenty long minutes, Seonghwa slips out of the room with a huff and a grumble, eyes rolling nearly to the back of his head, and he snaps the door shut behind him. He doesn’t even glance Yeosang’s way as he dips into the kitchen, although that’s probably because he’s covering his eyes with one of his hands and mumbling about always getting a headache because of those two. 

Still, Yeosang waits. Another two minutes meld into ten. Wooyoung still hasn’t left the confines of Hongjoong’s room. It’s odd and peculiar in his mind because Hongjoong insisted that he needed to focus, he needed to work, but Wooyoung has to be — and Yeosang says this as lovingly as possible — the most distracting human being on the face of the planet. 

It is enough to grab Yeosang’s attention by the horns and drive him to push up off the couch. He doesn’t think twice about what he is doing, that twisting and churning in his gut is the only thing on his mind right now, but he doesn’t stop his warpath until he reaches the end of the hallway where Hongjoong’s door sits on the right. A few seconds of precious silence pass, then he leans towards the wood and presses his ear to it. 

For a moment, he feels entirely too foolish because he doesn’t hear a thing other than the quiet clicking and tapping of what must be Hongjoong’s computer. He turns to leave with his chin tucked to his chest in shame at the thought of how certain he was they were doing something… something in there. Then there’s a quiet moan, followed by an airy giggle that can only be Wooyoung, and a sharply hissed ‘stop that’ from Hongjoong.

“But I’m having fun, hyung. Aren’t you having fun?”

“The only thing I’m supposed to be having is you sit still while I work. You promised to be good if I came home early.”

“And you promised to make me see stars with how hard you’d fuck me. That’s not happening right now either, is it? So why don’t we…”

Yeosang’s brain turns to radio noise. Television static. Microwave beeping. All three at once. Or is that an actual microwave beeping? Is Seonghwa cooking something? He has no clue. He can’t see straight either honestly, mind too overwhelmed with what he has just heard, and shaky legs carry him back to his own door before pushing him inside with as much haste as he can muster. 

Fuck me.

Wooyoung said the words with undeniable clarity. Yeosang shakes against the door, hand still clasped tight around the knob as though it will do him any good. 

Fuck. me.

It really shouldn’t be a big deal. Yeosang should not be bothered. It’s only natural and expected for men of their age to have pent-up sexual frustrations, and of course, they have every right to exercise those urges however they want. Given their orientations, they would slot together perfectly too so why, why, why is Yeosang so bothered right now? It’s shameful the way his jealousy twists further in his gut, and he slides down the door until he’s planted firmly on the ground with knees drawn up to his chest.

He feels so fucking foolish. Thinks back to all the times he and Wooyoung have cuddled and been in close proximity over the years. The way he tried to be daring and bridge the gap between them. The lingering curiosity of blossoming emotions in his chest. The moment he realized where he sat on the spectrum when Wooyoung’s laugh sent such intense feelings of pure love through his chest that Yeosang couldn’t look him in the eye for well over a week after. Hands searching for Wooyoung’s in the dark, clasping tight together, and the fleeting sensation of lips dragging over Yeosang’s knuckles. Breathy laughs exchanged in the dark, soft admissions of love that Yeosang refused to amount to anything more than a friendship but secretly — oh so secretly he wished for more. Wooyoung’s touchy affections that came in the form of sloppy kisses on the cheek and teasing bites to the neck and shoulder. Then came San. Wooyoung stealing away from him. Hands finding San’s instead, hugs and cuddles going to the other man as Yeosang fell further and further away without even trying to pull Wooyoung back. He watched him go without putting up a fight.

What did he do then? The only thing he thought was logical: seek out the member he has the most in common with, the one who seems to understand him better than anyone, one of the view who understands and appreciates his need for quiet moments of peace.

Hongjoong.

Late nights in the studios, backs hunched and aching as they bent over a computer and Hongjoong showed him the steps to his artistic process. Compliments shared in amazement and wonder because Yeosang could not fathom how incredible Kim Hongjoong could be, yet still the older managed to exceed any expectations like it was the easiest thing on earth. The pride that would swell in Yeosang’s chest when Hongjoong congratulated him on a job well done, when he would mention the younger on his lives, the excitement in his hyung’s eyes whenever Yeosang would pop his head into the studio late at night. Hongjoong clasping a hand over Yeosang’s own shaky ones as he practiced for a cover. Whispered praises and reassurances when Yeosang would miss a note or slip up. Slow patience that waited for him without fail. Yeosang hates that he was foolish enough to let those feelings of admiration morph into the desire to be close to Hongjoong all the time, to cling to him, kiss him, have him for himself. 

And he especially hates that he was never able to bury those dwindling emotions of love and affection he felt towards Wooyoung, because now? Now it’s like he is living a nightmare. Watching the two people he has feelings for come together in a relationship that holds some of the greatest moments of intimacy. And sure, yes, Yeosang acknowledges that it could be something purely physical for them, but that doesn’t negate the fact that the two people he has feelings for are fucking and have been fucking right under his nose for the last several weeks. He wishes he could be heartbroken or something along those lines because that would be a normal reaction. That would be typical and explainable and easier to manage than the sensation in Yeosang’s gut. In that moment, he gets some clarity that it is, in fact, not jealousy of either party. It’s a desire to be involved, a want to be there with them, and a need to be involved. Did he mistake it for jealousy? Every time he saw one running to the other, he thought it was merely envy that twisted his gut, but now… now Yeosang is coming to realize that it wasn’t envy or anything like that. He just wanted to be another piece in their puzzle because those two are the ones he’s closest to (and effectively has all too real feelings for), and it pains him so much that his eyes burn. 

There are tears on his cheeks now surely, but his body has entered an odd state of numbness that he can’t piece together and cannot bother to piece together either. He doesn’t think twice before pushing himself back up to his feet, hands shaky and unstable as he moves for the dresser and pulls out a fresh set of clothes, dead set on taking the bathroom and washing his feelings away in the shower. What Yeosang doesn’t account for, however, is someone being in the hall at the same time he is, and he runs face-first into a chest.

“Yeosang?”

Fuck, and it just has to be Yunho of all people too. The one who probably won’t let Yeosang get by without drawing all his worries out of him and making sure he’s alright. And no, he’s not alright, and he doesn’t really want to be right now, but Yunho doesn’t need to know that. So Yeosang shrugs off the hands that find a home on his arms and tries to step around Yunho to get to the bathroom that is so so close yet so far away because of the wall standing before him.

“Are you alright? What happened? Are you hurt?”

“I’m fine, leave it alone, Yun,” Yeosang mutters through his teeth. But apparently, he can’t have a moment’s peace because Seonghwa must have heard the litany of questions and gotten concerned as well, his voice coming up behind Yeosang like a cruel shadow.

“Yeosang? Is something wrong?”

Yeosang doesn’t turn around but he doesn’t need to because Seonghwa closes the distance between them and steals a glance around his shoulder nonetheless. Yunho seems to be in the dark still in the very least, but Seonghwa will most certainly be able to figure out the source of his tears.

“Yeo… this — how bad is it? This is why I wanted you two to settle it then and there!”‌ Seonghwa exhales. His brows draw together to form a tight line that pains Yeosang to look at.

“Settle what?” Yunho inquires, blinking between both men, and his grip on Yeosang’s arms finally relents in that moment of shock. Yeosang takes the moment of freedom like a lifeline and pushes past Yunho to dart into the bathroom without further ado. Neither man behind him can catch him before he snaps the door shut in their faces, twisting the lock and trapping himself in the small room.

“Yeosang!” Seonghwa calls through the door, and he brings his fist down on the wood as though it will do any good.

“Maybe we should give him some space, hyung…” Yunho’s voice fades into the static running through Yeosang’s mind, and he no longer processes their conversation as he cranks the handle of the shower to let the water heat up. The pain in his chest also dulls, but only when he lets hot water run over his bare back, forehead pressed to the tiled wall. 

Things are catching up to him now. Reality is seeping in and he is realizing all the things that have been happening behind their backs for the past several weeks. He blames his own imagination for the flashes that come through his mind as he tries to wash the feelings away. Wooyoung pressed under Hongjoong’s weight, fervent touches and lingering kisses. The same hands that held Yeosang’s dragging over the contours of muscles and skin, filling in the gaps that Yeosang wishes he could have filled. Or perhaps Wooyoung would curl himself into Hongjoong’s lap and hold the leader as close as possible as he so dearly loves to do with the others. 

Perhaps it is more intimate and special with the two of them, however, and maybe Hongjoong fucks up into Wooyoung like that, holds him close while he works in the studio, and maybe that’s what they do when Yeosang is turned away. He bets that Hongjoong praises Wooyoung too as he loves to give all the members a litany of praises whenever they do something well, and Yeosang’s desires turns ugly when he thinks of Wooyoung being praised for being good for Hongjoong, nice and pliant and perfect for him, and fuck Yeosang wants to be part of it so badly it hurts. He wants Wooyoung to stand off to the side and watch, wants his own best friend to see him fall apart under Hongjoong’s touch. Wooyoung is such a brat that he probably acts that way in bed as well, and Yeosang feels nearly light-headed as he imagines himself being the one to receive Hongjoong’s attention and subsequently Wooyoung’s as well like he would be some example for Wooyoung to follow on how to be good. 

Yeosang doesn’t feel disgusted by the thoughts but rather the way his own body responds to the images floating through his mind, the way his member reacts to it, and the temptation to reach down and stroke himself to completion is intoxicating. He cranks the water instead so that it’s nearly icy on his skin to keep his mind from wandering too much into the inappropriate territory even though it’s already there.

The cold is barely enough to stave off Yeosang’s churning gut because the sound of that quiet moan and Wooyoung’s delicate giggle are in his ears again even as he steps out of the shower and wipes the droplets away with a towel. It persists even when he leaves the bathroom, darting into the hall to make a break for his room in case anyone was outside waiting for him, but thankfully this time he has the hallway to himself and can make it to his shared room with Wooyoung without much issue. Yeosang only says ‘much’ because just before he opens the door, a noise carries down the hall and to his ears. One that is unmistakable but most likely only audible to someone like Yeosang who is standing in the hallway. 

Another moan. This one is much more high-pitched and strung out than the last, bordering on the territory of a squeal, and based on the all too loud thud that follows, Yeosang can picture what’s going on with too much clarity.

“Hyung!” Yeosang’s heart surges forward in his chest, and he whips around like someone else has spoken the word, but it’s very clearly Wooyoung’s tone. Nonetheless, Yeosang shoves himself into his bedroom and snaps the door shut behind him as quickly as possible, flipping the lock for good measure because his cock is too hard to be ignored now. Part of him wishes he had more willpower to avoid this, and yet he’s too weak in the end. 

Less than five minutes later, Yeosang finds himself curled under the sheets of his bunk, eyes blown wide open and staring at the ceiling above his head as he drags the flat of his hand over his cock. The friction is delectable at best but still not enough to satiate the arousal blooming in his gut. Arousal that only deepens when his mind recreates the images from earlier. This time he’s with them, imagining himself sitting off to the side as Hongjoong works on‌ Wooyoung’s body.

“Sit still and watch me punish him.”

Curse his imagination for being so potent that he can practically hear Hongjoong’s words on his ears.

“Touch yourself for us, Sangie, you know you want to,” Wooyoung would purr, still giggling even though he’s in trouble and about to be punished. 

Yeosang presses his palm down harder against his cock. He won’t last more than two minutes like this; he’ll probably come like a teenager in less than that if he jerks himself with too much haste. So he forms a tight ring around the base of his cock and squeezes just hard enough to stave off the heady sensation in his veins. He debates going down to grab the small bottle of lube from Wooyoung’s end table. That’s too much effort right now, he needs his release soon, and he frankly doesn’t have enough patience in his body at the moment to finger himself open.

“You’ll be good and come when Wooyoung does, won’t you, Sangie?”

He wants to so badly. He knows he would be so good under Hongjoong’s control, he would take anything given to him because he wants that so badly, he wants someone to take the control from his hands and be at their mercy. He wouldn’t fight it or talk back, he would be so good it hurts, and a weak mewl tumbles from his lips before he can stop it. 

Yeosang flings his free hand up to cover his mouth as though someone is going to hear the quiet noises, and when he presses the butt of his hand down again, more whimpers fall out. He can’t stop the noises nor does he try to any longer. The desire for a release is too overwhelming, mixed voices touching his imagination and seeming too real for Yeosang to handle as he ruts helplessly against his palm for that delicious bit of friction. And when he comes, he comes hard and fast, eyes rolling back in pleasure as his hips continue to cant up into his hand. He moans out Hongjoong’s name as he comes and doesn’t stop to think about quieting the noise this time in his fog of pleasure. Come spills over his palm only to be smeared over his skin when he can’t stop the movements of his hips. If he thought that would end the vision in his head, he was quite wrong, because after the haze covering his thoughts disperses a bit, it comes rushing back.

“I thought you said you’d be good for us, Sangie. You came before me.”

“I told you to come with Wooyoung, baby. Why couldn’t you do that simple task?”

“You always say that you’re going to be good for us, Sangie. Yet you can’t even seem to live up to those words.”

The tears that hit Yeosang’s cheeks next are ones that come from pure overstimulation and eustasy. Heat swarms his skin, a pretty pink blush that causes his whole body to flush, and his hips just don’t stop moving even as his mind cries out for a release from the self-inflicted torture.

“Pl-Please, Woo,” Yeosang whimpers to the air above him. “I’ll — I’ll be good. I’ll be so good, p-please.” It is all too much for him to handle right then because the next thing he knows, he is coming yet again, but it’s a painfully dry orgasm since he didn’t give himself any recovery time. He releases a choked sob that breaks into a strangled moan instead, then his hips finally rest and give his poor leaking member a break. The only thing that can leave his lips for several minutes is a series of gasps and pants, chest heaving desperately as he tries to catch his breath.

When he finally recovers, Yeosang pulls himself down from the bunk and strips once more now that he’s gotten the fresh set of clothes dirty and soiled. It’s as he is pulling a shirt over his head that the door handle jiggles to no avail.

“Sangie? Did you lock the door?”

Fuck. Wooyoung. He won’t have any knowledge of what Yeosang has just done, or that Yeosang knows what he was just doing himself, but the red hot shame burning in Yeosang’s gut. He just jerked off to the thought of his best friend and his hyung including him in their personal business. Yeosang doesn’t even know if either of them would be okay with such a thing, and yet —

“Yeosang? Are you in there or not?”

“S-Shit,” Yeosang exhales to himself, tugging his shirt the rest of the way and rushing to get to the door. He flips the lock and swings the door wide open to greet Wooyoung with wide eyes and mussed hair. Wooyoung’s hair is damp and clinging to his forehead; he looks fresh out of a shower, and Yeosang has no doubt that he and Hongjoong showered together after their… activities. “Yeah, sorry, S-Seonghwa-hyung wouldn’t get the hint that I didn’t wanna talk to him right now.” It’s only a partial lie, enough to cover what Yeosang was actually up to, and Wooyoung seems to buy it by the way he shrugs his shoulders quickly and brushes past Yeosang to get in the room. He doesn’t stay long, however, coming in simply to fetch his phone before darting back out of the room. Yeosang wants to ask where he is going, but at the same time, he can probably guess that it has something to do with San or Hongjoong again.

Yeosang doesn’t stay to watch him go. Instead, he dips back into their shared bedroom and shuts the door, intent to sleep through the rest of the day and push these lingering thoughts out of his mind. It’s only when Wooyoung returns hours later whining to himself about how San never lets him win a game that Yeosang dares to speak. He waits until his friend curls up in bed and gets comfortable, throat lodged with emotion.

“I…”

Wooyoung doesn’t offer even a noise of acknowledgment. Maybe he’s already fallen asleep. Perhaps Yeosang shouldn’t say anything or he should say this for another time, but right now he just wants to see. Test the waters. Gauge his reaction.

“I know about you and Hongjoong-hyung, Woo.” Curse him for stuttering when he did, and curse him for not having the balls to say it outright. How hard should it be for you to say to your best friend “I know you’re fucking our group leader under everyone’s noses”? Saying something cryptic like “I know what you’re doing with hyung” sounded too scary in Yeosang’s mind, but maybe he could have had a better approach. Especially since the bunk under his creaks and the sheets jostle, then a Wooyoung-shaped shadow darts across the room. The door swings open, Wooyoung slips out, then it slams shut, causing way too much noise for the hour.

Yeosang isn’t sure what he was expecting. He knows Wooyoung avoids confrontation. This should have been expected, yet as Yeosang curls onto his side and faces the wall, the tears that slip out his eyes are more painful than before, and he thinks vaguely in the back of his mind that Wooyoung doesn’t want him to have anything to do with the relationship he shares with Hongjoong.

Morning is awkward and stilted. Wooyoung most definitely went to Hongjoong’s room and told him what Yeosang said; Yeosang can see it in the way Hongjoong’s gaze slips between both boys throughout breakfast. He is a bit thankful that Hongjoong doesn’t look towards him with the same amount of fear and shame as Wooyoung did earlier, and there is no disgust or embarrassment in his stare either — only concern. Seonghwa is still worried about Yeosang’s crying in the hallway yesterday, as is Yunho because the dancer got Yeosang coffee and a plate of food, staying by his side all throughout breakfast with a hand placed over Yeosang’s thigh the entire time. The tension is palpable, and there’s no doubt that everyone knows something is wrong in some way.

Seonghwa keeps sending Hongjoong looks across the table, even as San and Yunho try to bring some energy back to the table and dispel the awkwardness. Those glances are probably the thing that prompt the leader to speak. And so, Hongjoong is the one to breach the subject, but he does it in a way that Yeosang could never have expected, and based on the way Seonghwa chokes on his syrupy coffee, the older had no clue this was Hongjoong’s plan either.

“Some of you have noticed that Wooyoung and I are spending a lot more time together these days.” Yeosang dares to look over at his friend, but the man is staring down at the table with cheeks so red and flushed that he’s nearly purple. “It’s because we’re fucking.”

There goes Seonghwa choking on his coffee, Mingi gags around a mouthful of rice, Yunho’s hand squeezes painfully on Yeosang’s thigh, San bites back a laugh and cheeky smile, and Jongho drops his spoon on the edge of the table in shock. Another clatter follows as the same spoon hits the ground, but Jongho doesn’t even move to pick it up and instead stares directly at Hongjoong like the leader like he’s just kicked a dog or something.

“Does anyone have a problem with that?”

Hongjoong’s gaze finds Yeosang immediately. Oh, so the question is targeted at him. Yet even as everyone else at the table denies there being any issue with such a thing, Yeosang can’t bring himself to shake his head or deny it. It’s not that he does have a legitimate issue with it, he merely wishes to slot himself in their space and be part of it. He can’t very well admit that over breakfast with the rest of the group though, especially not with how Wooyoung reacted last night. Hongjoong doesn’t wait for a response.

“Just because we have this relationship now doesn’t mean any of the group dynamics should or have to change. We are by no means exclusive or closed off to just each other. Understood?”

A chorus of affirmations greet Hongjoong, and Yeosang actually joins in this time despite the clench of his heart.

If Hongjoong expected the conversation to fix everything on a whim, then he would be sorely incorrect.

Wooyoung continues to avoid Yeosang. He won’t come into the room at the same time as Yeosang, only comes to sleep if San or Hongjoong kicks him out of their rooms, and is always either sleeping or gone by the time Yeosang gets up. Despite Yeosang constantly looking over at his friend, Wooyoung almost never looks back, and when he does, his expression twinges with something Yeosang would almost call guilt. He tries not to think about that bit too hard or too much.

Hongjoong, on the other hand, actually makes an effort to do things differently. He invites Yeosang to the studio much more often, asks him to accompany him as he picks up food for the rest of the group at least two times a week, and Yeosang finds himself frequenting Hongjoong’s room to work on producing practice a lot more as well.

Yeosang can’t complain because it’s what he wanted and missed so dearly, and he should be content that at least one of his crushes is giving him such devoted attention, but he is loathe to admit that part of his heart is dedicated to Wooyoung and Wooyoung only. That part is shattered in a thousand pieces every time Wooyoung sees him and turns to go in the opposite direction. He doesn’t last longer than a week with Wooyoung’s behavior, and the breaking point is a Saturday evening when Yeosang steps out of his room to see Wooyoung leaving Hongjoong’s with an unreadable expression. Hongjoong steps into the doorway right after, hand chasing Wooyoung’s and catching hold of it before the younger can dip out of his reach.

And now, Yeosang suddenly feels like he’s watching something that he shouldn’t be because Hongjoong places his free hand on Wooyoung’s cheek and leans his forehead against the other man’s, lips moving quickly and quietly as they speak to each other. Wooyoung nods several times before stepping back and turning around. His body tenses a bit as he sees Yeosang standing at the other end of the hall. They regard each other with equally wide eyes and lingering stares for several seconds before Hongjoong prompts Wooyoung to move by slapping the flat of his hand down hard on his ass. Wooyoung releases a startled yelp, cheeks flushing a dark red before he rushes to San and Yunho’s door and enters without even bothering to knock.

Hongjoong finally looks at Yeosang. The younger can’t describe the feeling that swoops through his gut, but Hongjoong is smirking at him and making him feel like that infinite space between their bodies is nonexistent. It’s like the man is standing right before him and cascading warm breath over his lips and neck, then he tilts his head to the side and motions towards his bedroom.

“Did you still wanna get some work done?”

Yeosang responds with a quick nod and dips back into his own room to snatch his phone up off the dresser before fully stepping into the hall to meet Hongjoong by his door.

“No laptop?” The older regards him with a curious stare even as Yeosang shakes his head a bit.

“Just wanna watch you work some, I think. If that’s okay?”

Hongjoong’s lips twist into a gentle smile, and warmth fills his gut.

“Of course, Yeo, come on.”

Yeosang half-expects the room to reek of sex and debauchery, or for the bed to be a wreck, but that’s not the case. Everything is almost too perfect by Hongjoong’s standards, like Seonghwa came through and raided the room before Yeosang stepped in. In fact, he’s almost certain that Hongjoong went the extra mile to change the sheets, but he doesn’t comment on it even as Hongjoong settles down in the bed and pats the empty space next to him. Yeosang climbs up beside him, heart in his throat and threatening to choke him out.

“I think I’ll be able to finish this one either today or tomorrow so I can submit it for the next album,” Hongjoong mutters. Yeosang watches with wide and careful eyes as he tugs his laptop into his lap, pulling the music file up to pick up where he left off. Yeosang is frankly not paying any attention to what’s happening on Hongjoong’s screen. He’s too busy looking at the man’s side profile, the way his brows draw together in concentration. Hoodie drawn over his head with headphones pressed over one ear and the other pressed further back on his hood.

“Hyung…” Yeosang trails off, unsure of how to voice what it is he’s after, and Hongjoong’s lingering stare only makes him more nervous. But then, the older shifts in the bed and presses his back further against his pillows. He lays his laptop to the side, for the time being, throwing his legs out, and Yeosang inhales sharply at the way Hongjoong motions to the space between them. Is he asking Yeosang to —

“Do you wanna lie down?”

Oh. Of course. Why would he think Hongjoong wanted something else when he and Wooyoung have each other for that? Still, Yeosang slips between Hongjoong’s legs and presses his head to the man’s stomach like it’s glass. Once he’s fully situated and comfortable, Hongjoong pulls his laptop back, placing it atop Yeosang’s stomach without missing a beat. The angle is a bit awkward on his neck, but Yeosang doesn’t complain because he gets to be this close to Hongjoong and in his arms like this. It’s practically intoxicating, and Yeosang almost feels light-headed by the time Hongjoong shifts their position to tug Yeosang further up on his chest, letting the younger drop his head into the crook of his shoulder.

Hongjoong doesn’t speak; he merely lets Yeosang rest against him like that with the familiar beat of his track playing faintly through his headset, and Yeosang watches on with less interest than usual as he drags things across the screen and into place. Then, after some unknown amount of time, Hongjoong decides to pipe up.

“When I talked to the group last week about Wooyoung and me, you were the only one not to say you were okay with the arrangement.” He murmurs the words softly, and Yeosang nearly doesn’t pick up on them at all. The moment they process though, he stiffens in Hongjoong’s hold. Although the man isn’t holding him there against his will, Yeosang feels somehow trapped and unable to escape.

“W-Wooyoung — he ran away from me.” Maybe that’s an exaggeration but the man did straight up bolt out of the room when Yeosang brought it up.

“He’s afraid that you hate him.”

That has Yeosang pulling himself forward, knocking Hongjoong’s hands away from where his laptop sits in Yeosang’s lap. Yeosang has enough decency to snap the laptop shut and push it to the foot of the bed before shifting to face Hongjoong. The look in the leader’s eyes is unreadable when they finally look at each other.

“Why would I hate him?”

Hongjoong merely lifts a brow in response. He seems to weigh his next words on his tongue and teases the corner of his lips a few times before deciding to speak.

“Do you not?”

“Of course not,” Yeosang mumbles. “I don’t hate either of you.” He dares to look towards Hongjoong once more, eyes finding the leader’s and searching for any sort of reaction but there isn’t much there. 

“Then why didn’t you come talk to me as well?”

“I figured…” Yeosang doesn’t really have a response for that. He was cowardly more than anything else and afraid of what sort of conversation they might end up having. “I thought you would want the conversation at breakfast to be the last of it.”

“I’ve been waiting for you to bring it up for the past week.”

“What?” Yeosang didn’t even have the slightest clue that Hongjoong was wanting to talk about it. Since everything fell back into their usual routine, he simply assumed that meant everything was fine.

“When you told Wooyoung that you knew about us, what were you referring to?”

Yeosang’s cheeks heat up a bit, and he has to drop his gaze to the bed.

“I heard the two of you… I heard — y-yeah.”

“Heard what?” Hongjoong presses again, and this time Yeosang releases an exasperated sigh.

“Christ, hyung, do I need to spell it out? I heard you both moaning a-and it didn’t take much to realize what you were doing!” That pulls a loud laugh from Hongjoong’s lips, and he throws his head back with the sound.

“That’s not what he thought you heard, Yeosang,” Hongjoong says through the laugh. Yeosang swallows hard in response, sitting back a bit more and straightening his back. “He thought you heard what came after that, which is why he’s been so avoidant with you.”

“What came after?” Yeosang echoes, instinctually gripping the sheets in his fists. Hongjoong’s lips stretch a bit further into a smile.  

“He also didn’t hear the noises coming from your room after because he was in the shower.”

Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck. Yeosang is so fucked. Hongjoong heard that? What all did he hear? Yeosang remembers moaning Hongjoong’s name a bit too loudly, but he also said Wooyoung’s name, so which did he hear? Or did he hear both? How could he not say anything about it for an entire week?

“But frankly, I didn’t hear it either since I was with Wooyoung in the shower.”

Yeosang can hardly breathe at this point, eyes stuck and fixated on some point on the mattress, and that’s not what Hongjoong wants apparently because a single finger curls under the base of his chin. Hongjoong lifts his head until they can look each other in the eye again.

“Seonghwa told me that you had been crying before taking a shower yourself. Then after you came out, he went to check on you but your door was locked, and… he heard you inside moaning my name.”

“I-I can ex-explain. It’s not — it’s not what it looks like and I—”

“And Wooyoung’s.”

“Hyung, I…” Yeosang is fumbling to figure out what he can say to get himself out of this situation. This is probably the worst thing that can happen right now, and if Hongjoong knows, then Wooyoung most likely knows too and maybe that’s the real reason behind his avoidance these days. Maybe he’s so disgusted by what Yeosang did that he doesn’t want to even look at him again. But the look in his eyes has never been disgust — only some odd mixture between guilt and sadness. 

“I didn’t tell Wooyoung that part honestly. I figured… he wouldn’t take my word for it. So I think it would be better to show him, don’t you?”

“Show him what?” Yeosang exhales. Hongjoong presses forward so far that his breath ghosts over the younger’s lips, and Yeosang chokes on thin air.

“That you want him just as much as he wants you.”

“He… he wants me?” The disbelief is palpable, but Hongjoong is patient as always, releasing a small hum and shifting behind Yeosang to grab hold of his laptop and headphones again. 

“The thing he thought you heard that day — I enjoy riling him up maybe a bit too much, and I kept teasing him with the thought of someone walking in and catching us. The only person he wanted to interrupt was you, and he kept saying your name over and over like a prayer, so loud that he thought you heard him. And thus your reaction… or rather your confrontation scared him and made him think that you were disgusted by it.”

Yeosang feels like he’s been thrust underwater, ears ringing and head clogged with a myriad of thoughts that refuse to make any sense whatsoever. He understands the basic gist of what’s going on in the very least. Hongjoong knows he jerked off to the thought of him and Wooyoung, Wooyoung wants him to some degree, and Hongjoong is pressing closer and closer now that he has slid his laptop off the bed and tucked it under the bunk. And while Yeosang certainly doesn’t want him to stop, there is the nagging thought in the back of his mind that while Hongjoong said that Wooyoung wants him to some degree, Hongjoong never said whether he wants Yeosang in the same way or not.

“B-But what — what about you?” He whispers, too scared to raise his voice any further than that. Hongjoong hums as he leans a bit closer, and Yeosang falls back onto his elbows. “Do y-you want me too?”

“I certainly wouldn’t be doing this if I didn’t,” Hongjoong says in response. He pauses in his push forward, giving Yeosang precious time to think and breathe easy for a few minutes. “But I won’t do anything that you don’t want to do, and I won’t push you to do anything you’re uncomfortable with. Meaning that… if you want this but are uncomfortable with the idea of having an audience, we don’t have to have one.”

Audience? 

When the realization sinks in, Yeosang draws his hands up to cover his face and hide the rampant blush that takes over his cheeks. Hongjoong is quick to respond, hands coming up to join Yeosang’s and gently clasp around his wrists.

“It’s okay, Sangie, baby, you don’t need to hide.”

Baby. Kim Hongjoong is positively trying to kill him on the spot. 

“You’re so pretty, so so pretty especially when you blush like that,” Hongjoong continues. His voice comes out in a soft murmur, coating Yeosang’s ears like honey and dripping down to his gut where the threads of arousal begin to coil. 

“Hyung,” Yeosang exhales in a tone so breathy and whiny that it nearly doesn’t come out at all. 

“I need a firm yes or no on whether you want this before anything else, Yeosang.” Hongjoong begins to pull away, and that is the breaking point for Yeosang’s sanity practically because he lurches forward and snatches Hongjoong by the collar of his hoodie, wrenching him back down to hover mere centimeters over Yeosang’s lips.

“Yes, hyung, the answer is yes, please, for the love of all that is good in this world, please just—” 

Thank god Hongjoong cuts him off or else he would have just kept on babbling for an eternity. Yeosang falls quiet with a startled gasp as Hongjoong plants his lips atop the younger’s, and the arm that holds him up buckles under the sudden weight on his body. The both of them tumble down to the mattress at an awkward angle, Yeosang’s arm trapped behind his back and Hongjoong’s foot tangled in the sheets, but neither of them pay much attention to those issues. The priority seems to be each other’s lips, not that Yeosang is complaining about the way Hongjoong rushes to swipe his tongue over Yeosang’s lower lip. He grants entrance to his mouth with perhaps too much ease. The moment Hongjoong’s tongue breaches his lips and begins to explore his mouth, Yeosang chokes out a wanton moan that reverberates through the older’s mouth and pools heat in his gut. 

It’s only then that Yeosang decides to resituate their position some, and he kicks at the sheets to unravel them from Hongjoong’s feet before pressing up harder against the leader’s body. Hongjoong seems to get the hint and leans back as well, letting Yeosang have a few precious moments of control as he eases Hongjoong back onto the pillows and straddles his hips like this is what he was made to do. Yeosang is already panting and out of breath, cheeks alight with embarrassment still, but he looks an absolute vision in Hongjoong’s eyes with blond hair enveloping his forehead like a halo and lips glistening with spit. He finds a shred of sense left in him to ask one more question before he lets Yeosang dive back in for more.

“Do you want Wooyoung to watch?”

And this admittedly is not a fantasy Yeosang ever pictured or imagined. He figured he would be the one doing the watching, he would sit on the sidelines while the two fawned over each other and fucked, but this? This is something tantalizing indeed, and Yeosang would be damned if he didn’t take this golden opportunity now. Especially with the knowledge that both Hongjoong and Wooyoung have thought about him in the throes of passion.

“Is that what you thought of when you were jerking off, Sangie?” 

Yeosang can only whimper in reply, hands drawing up from where they sit atop Hongjoong’s chest to cover his blazing cheeks again, but Hongjoong is quicker this time. He keeps Yeosang’s hands right where they are by clasping his fingers around the other man’s wrists and watches on with pure admiration as Yeosang writhes a bit atop him.

“Hm? Is it, darling? Does dirty talk make you shy? We don’t have to do that if it makes you too uncomfortable. Give me a safe word as well just in case we need to stop.”

“No! No, no,” Yeosang denies in haste. “I… um, we can u-use red because that’s easy to remember.” Hongjoong offers a hum in approval, and Yeosang has to swallow his nerves before admitting the next bit. “I l-like being embarrassed a bit.”

“Do you, Sangie? Tell me what else you like.” Hongjoong is practically purring the words, and Yeosang thinks it will send him spiraling over the edge. The teasing glint in the older’s eyes is lethal too, turning Yeosang’s insides to mush and his limbs to jello, and he can’t think of anything he wants more right now than for Hongjoong to utterly wreck him on this very bed with Wooyoung watching on. 

“I like — like being good a-and hearing that I’m doing well.” Yeosang slips his hand around Hongjoong’s. He slowly tugs it upwards, guiding the man’s hand to his neck and measuring his reaction the entire time with wary eyes. Hongjoong seems to forget what breathing is for a moment, and when he finally does breathe again, it’s merely a sharp and painful inhale of air because Yeosang is closing Hongjoong’s own fingers around his neck and blinking at him with wide and innocent eyes. “Being choked feels really nice too. And I want Wooyoung to watch… to watch you ruin me.”

Hongjoong’s fingers twitch around his neck, and Yeosang knows that his words have a visceral effect on the man just by that reaction. He also feels the way Hongjoong’s cock twitches in the confines of his pants, right against the curve of Yeosang’s ass, and that brings a swell of pride to his chest.

“Do you want to ruin me, hyung?” He asks, batting his lashes for good measure, and fuck, it’s so worth it. It’s so worth it because Hongjoong growls in response and pushes Yeosang down so that he’s flat on the bed once more. 

“Fucking hell, Yeo, how can you be so — holy fuck, you’re so perfect.” Hongjoong maps a path from the tip of Yeosang’s nose down to the collar of his shirt with his lips, leaving a wet trail behind, and once he reaches the space hidden behind Yeosang’s shirt, he uses two fingers to tug the material down just enough to expose more of the milky skin underneath. Yeosang doesn’t have time to ask what he’s doing despite the confusion rushing through him because Hongjoong latches his lips around the spot, teeth nipping at the skin until red blooms under his touch. And god does it feel euphoric to be marked by Kim Hongjoong, to be claimed by him and wanted by him, and Yeosang is certain that all reason will leave his body before Wooyoung even gets involved. 

Hongjoong chooses that opportune moment to pull back. First, he admires the way Yeosang’s chest heaves, the way sweat beads his brow and causes his hair to cling to the skin there, and the way Yeosang already somehow looks so fucked out and beautiful that it’s unimaginable. He weaves his hands down the expanse of Yeosang’s chest to catch hold of the hem. Ever so slowly, Hongjoong tugs upwards, and it’s so painstakingly prolonged that Yeosang loses his patience before the shirt even reaches his sternum. He yanks the fabric from Hongjoong’s grasp and pulls it up over his head on his own, throwing it off to the side haphazardly without even bothering to check where it falls. He knows how to play Hongjoong so well, just what he needs to do to get under the man’s skin, and he does it with such ease that it’s laughable. Because the second Yeosang leans back to the bed and flutters his lashes up at Hongjoong, the leader is hissing through his teeth so loudly that the air comes out in a whistle. 

Then he grips his hoodie but the hem and tugs it over his head, but he leaves the plain undershirt underneath on for the time being as he twists around and catches hold of his phone. Yeosang’s arousal deepens as he watches Hongjoong tap furiously at the screen. Then he has an idea that is probably far too risky but also far too alluring to pass up on.

“H-Hyung, could you…” Yeosang loses the confidence to finish the question, hand stretched midway to Hongjoong’s. Still, Hongjoong pauses and looks directly at him. His dark eyes are glazed with lust and arousal, and they bear such a seriousness to them that Yeosang has to swallow around nothing to get his next words out. “Send him a picture,” he tries again, pushing more willpower in this time. “With your hand around my neck.”

“You’re unreal.” Hongjoong’s tone bears a quake this time, audible proof that Yeosang is having such an effect on the man, and the younger revels in it as he tugs Hongjoong’s hand down to the column of his throat. 

That’s all the incentive Hongjoong needs to bend over the other, and his hand squeezes a little bit around his throat. Yeosang’s cock twitches between his legs, right where his hyung’s crotch rubs atop his, and the sensation is so heady and thrilling that Yeosang dares to rut against Hongjoong again. He pushes his tongue out just a little bit, catches the tip between his teeth, then shows off the somehow innocent for the camera when Hongjoong angles it above his face. 

“For fuck’s sake, Yeo, I’m not gonna be able to wait for Wooyoung to drag his ass in here if you keep that up.” Hongjoong snaps the picture as quick as he can before tossing his phone off to the side in a huff.

“Keep what up?” Yeosang asks before sinking his teeth into his lower lip. The pair spend about two seconds staring at each other, Yeosang with a playful gleam to his gaze and Hongjoong with a more looming and dangerous one that has Yeosang’s stomach doing small backflips in anticipation. They’re interrupted by the sharp slam of a door somewhere in the dorm, and that’s followed by a skid and another smack of what sounds like a body on the wall. Another three seconds pass before the door to Hongjoong’s bedroom swings wide open, hitting the wall so hard that Seonghwa yells down the hall about disregard for common decency. 

“Can you at least pretend to be civilized, Wooyoung? You don’t need to act like an animal just because you’re about to get boned! And keep it quiet this time!”

The newcomer comes in a blur of dark hair and tossed garments, and Wooyoung doesn’t even wait for the door to be closed completely before he’s stripping down to his underwear.

“I’m here! I’m here, hi, fuck, oh my god, I’m here. Why didn’t you get me sooner, hyung?” Wooyoung hisses as he shuts the door in a rush, flipping the lock before stepping further into the room. 

“I didn’t tell him he’d just be watching,” Hongjoong whispers into the shell of Yeosang’s ear. It draws a blush out of the younger man, one that persists as he and Wooyoung make eye contact. Hongjoong drags the flat of his tongue across Yeosang’s cheek and presses a sweet row of kisses to the same line of skin a moment after. “Why don’t you break the news, darling?” 

“Break the news? The fuck, hyung? Did you invite me just to kick me out?” Wooyoung protests.

“I told you to trust me, you brat,” Hongjoong counters, passing a half-hearted glare towards the younger with a small sigh. “You’re here to watch the show.”

“Well, I’ll do that fucking gladly,” Wooyoung huffs. He makes for the bed, moving to join Hongjoong on top of the mattress, but Hongjoong slings his legs over Yeosang’s body and steps onto the floor to block Wooyoung’s way instead. Yeosang scrambles to push himself up onto his elbows. With wide eyes, he glances between the pair, swallowing around nothing when Wooyoung rakes his eyes over Yeosang’s bare chest leading down to the bulge in his sweats. Hongjoong places a hand over Wooyoung’s chest, and slowly but surely, the leader backs him up until he stumbles back into Seonghwa’s desk chair. “Hyung?”

“I said you get to watch. Not touch.”

“What? Hyung, you can’t seriously—”

“Per Yeosang’s request. Can’t you do it for him, my baby?” 

Wooyoung sucks his lower lip between his teeth and inhales sharply at the small pet name. Yeosang watches on with wide and curious eyes, from the way Hongjoong drags his hands over Wooyoung’s tan skin to the way Wooyoung’s hips tremble in an attempt to stay on the chair.

“Good boy,” Hongjoong hums when the younger doesn’t budge after a few moments. He slips back to the bed, still smiling from ear to ear as he moves, and he greets Yeosang with a wet and sloppy kiss. It’s a mess of teeth and spit, something inherently dirty in the best way possible, and Yeosang can’t hold back the light groan that rumbles through his throat when Hongjoong brings a hand down to palm at his erection. “You still want me to ruin you, darling?”

“Always,” Yeosang exhales against his lips. At that, Hongjoong leaves him with one more chaste kiss then dips lower, not wasting any more time before pulling something out from under his mattress. Yeosang’s body tenses in anticipation at the sight of it, and even more so when Hongjoong curls his fingers around the band of his sweats.

“Be as loud as you wish. Wooyoung is such a sucker for pretty moans,” Hongjoong teases, clicking his tongue against the roof of his mouth.

“Hyung!” Wooyoung protests in an instant, and he nearly bolts up from his chair. Hongjoong levels him with a glare though, the power dynamic slipping through and baring itself to Yeosang’s eyes, and it would taste a lie if he said he doesn’t want Hongjoong to dominate him in such a way as well. 

“Today is all about Yeo, but I’ll be kind enough to let you touch yourself too. But you can only come after he does.”

Wooyoung doesn’t voice his protests, but Yeosang can see the disapproval in his eyes. There is no opportunity to dwell on it for long because cold air suddenly hits his crotch and he feels his cock spring loose without warning. He draws his legs together to hide himself, a sudden bashfulness taking over him within seconds. Hongjoong drops his clothing off to the side, and it hits the floor with a soft thud before Hongjoong is back between his legs and easing his knees apart. 

“Don’t hide yourself, darling,” he murmurs, pressing a soft kiss to the inside of Yeosang’s knee. “You’re so beautiful for us—” another kiss, this time higher on the inside of his thigh “—so precious and perfect. Next time I’ll let Wooyoung worship every inch of you, I promise.”

Next time. That insinuation has Yeosang preening, hips canting upwards towards Hongjoong’s body, and the older man stills him with a deftly placed palm on his cock.

“A-Ah, hyung,” Yeosang chokes out. The pressure increases a bit, drawing another louder moan from Yeosang’s lips. Hongjoong takes the opportunity to spread his legs once more, although this time he makes sure to press them wider than before, and Yeosang has never felt more exposed in his life. Hongjoong is still kissing a path up his bare leg when he reaches for the bottle of lube. The click of the cap sends a jolt through his nervous system, cock twitching weakly on the vee of his hip. 

“Hm, are you that excited, baby? You’re doing so well already. Wooyoung always complains about how slow I am when we do this.” Yeosang can do nothing but blink down at where Hongjoong is perched between his legs. Wide eyes meet his and maintain a steady sense of eye contact even as he pours some lube onto his fingers. “Am I going too slow for you, Yeosang?”

“A… a little bit,” Yeosang admits, shifting his elbows on the mattress. 

“But you’re doing so well for us, darling. Being so good and patient, hm? What more could you want?” Hongjoong trails a finger from the head of Yeosang’s erect cock down to the base. Even the slight touch has Yeosang whimpering in need, and he tries to rut his hips up into the older’s hand, but Hongjoong doesn’t let him. “Don’t worry, darling. I’ll ruin you good and nice, okay?”

“Please,” Yeosang pants. Hongjoong traces down further with his lubed fingers, using his index finger to rub small circles around Yeosang’s hole. With his other hand, he takes hold of Yeosang’s cock, then without warning, he encircles the entirety of his member in the wet heat of his mouth. “Oh m-my god, hyung!” Yeosang throws his head back against the bed. His back arches painfully with the sensation, but Hongjoong doesn’t let up until his nose brushes Yeosang’s crotch. It is vastly impressive but Yeosang is far too engulfed in the feeling of Hongjoong’s mouth around his length to think too much about it. What he does know is that Hongjoong takes him all the way to the back of his throat without gagging in the slightest, and Yeosang wouldn’t call himself small by any means, so if that’s not the hottest thing he’s ever witnessed, he isn’t sure what could top it.

Yeosang squeezes his eyes shut as Hongjoong ravishes his cock, taking in the feeling of the man’s tongue tracing along the underside of his length. Hongjoong certainly sucks dick like it’s his last meal on earth and his only purpose in life. Though the number of blowjobs Yeosang has received are few and far between, he knows this is going to ruin all blowjobs in the future for him unless Wooyoung is the one to give them. Hongjoong keeps circling that index finger around his rim. It’s teasing and prodding, like he’s trying to get Yeosang to cave and beg for it, but Yeosang is too lost in the heat of Hongjoong’s mouth to even think to ask for it. Ironically, it’s Hongjoong who grows impatient as time passes on, and he at last slips one finger past Yeosang’s tight ring and buries the digit two knuckles deep in him.

Yeosang blindly reaches down to grab Hongjoong’s wrist. He desperately tries to push his finger deeper, to prod further and find that elusive spot that feels oh so good, but Hongjoong keeps him from doing so. The leader slips off his cock with a lewd pop, leaving a trail of spit to dangle between his lips and the head of Yeosang’s cock. The effort of having Yeosang so deep for such a long period of time shows on his face: his eyes are a bit puffy and red around the edges, tears glisten in his waterline, and the tip of his nose gleams just a little brighter now. Yeosang could get drunk off the sheer sight of him like this.

“Be patient, darling,” Hongjoong reminds him as he pushes Yeosang’s hand away from his own. “You’re so tight that I wanna spend some extra time prepping you, okay?”

And yes, Yeosang is touched by the gesture in the very least but he’s also quite annoyed because he wants Hongjoong deeper and deeper with each passing second. He only gets part of his wish when Hongjoong descends back on his leaking erection, scooping up the trail of precum and saliva with the flat of his tongue and diving back down on him. Somewhere in the haze of his thoughts, Yeosang thinks that having his dick sucked by Kim Hongjoong is a wholly spiritual experience. 

That point is proved further when Hongjoong pushes a second finger into his hole and gently settles it into his heat without moving for several seconds. Then, he twists his digits to the side and begins to fuck those two fingers in and out of Yeosang’s tight ring as slowly as possible. That has Yeosang’s moan devolving into choked mewls and whimpers, and his thighs tremble under the repetitive double stimulation that never stops even for a second.

Hongjoong has a talent at taking people apart it seems because he does it with Yeosang so easily that the younger is already seeing stars without having come a single time yet. Wooyoung is thoroughly enjoying the scene before him with rapt attention, and for once he actually remains rather quiet as he watches on, aside from the occasional moan and groan. The feeling of Wooyoung’s stare firmly planted on his body, from his face down to where Hongjoong’s face meets his crotch, leaves Yeosang feeling even more light-heated. He’s fairly confident that this with either send him spiraling into unknown territory or he will just straight up pass out after coming once. 

There is no time to worry about those minute details in the coming moments: Hongjoong works a third digit into his hole, and when he does, he pulls off Yeosang’s tortured cock with a lopsided grin. 

“Isn’t he so good and pretty for us, Woo baby?” 

“Y-Yes, hyung,” Wooyoung answers quickly. 

“Are you getting close, angel?” Despite Hongjoong’s stare being directed at Yeosang, the latter is vaguely aware that the question is meant for Wooyoung, but still, he nods a few times for good measure. That draws a laugh from Hongjoong’s chest. The noise resonates in Yeosang’s body, leaving him with a steady thrum of pleasure, and Hongjoong speeds up the pace of his fingers as he pumps them in and out of Yeosang’s hole. “You look so heavenly like this, Yeosang. Panting and mewling as I fuck your hole with just my fingers. You’re so desperate for something bigger, aren’t you?”

Yeosang is losing control over his own inhibitions and slipping into a place he rarely goes. 

“Y-Yes, yes, hyung, I’m — want more. Want more, please, give me more,” he babbles back, too lost to think about piecing full sentences together. Hongjoong is quick to pick up on the shift, especially in the way that Yeosang’s body turns to jello in his touch and becomes fully pliant under him. The leader snakes a hand up Yeosang’s side and finds one of Yeosang’s own hands on the bed. He laces their fingers together, clasping tight at the younger’s hand while offering a sweet and gentle smile. 

“Hyung has you, darling,” he murmurs. “I promise.” It’s the reassurance Yeosang needs to let go, and he lets himself rut down on Hongjoong’s fingers. They find a rhythm like that — with Yeosang’s half-hearted and shaky bounces and Hongjoong’s timely thrusts — and each jab to his prostate has Yeosang crying out for more. He wants to hold off, wants to make it last longer, come while Hongjoong is balls deep inside him, but Hongjoong seems determined to draw at least one orgasm out of him before they go any further. 

And that’s exactly what he does.

Less than three minutes later, Yeosang has his free hand wrapped around his shaft as Hongjoong fucks into his hole with three fingers and a sense of reckless abandon. It’s purely euphoric, and the quick jabs to his prostate are what sends him fully over the edge. Come spills over his hand, coating his knuckles and fingers in the sticky white substance, and Yeosang lets the steady jerks of his arm come to a rest. Hongjoong, however, just continues to pump his fingers in and out of Yeosang’s hole, not waiting for the man to recover before he is back to toying with his prostate. 

“Hyung, t-too much, ah — ah, hyung, I can’t!” It is a delicious bit of overstimulation, and one that leaves Yeosang exhausted and panting for air. Hongjoong stops before it begins to hurt thankfully, slipping his fingers out of the younger before mapping a path with his lips up to Yeosang’s neck.

“Are you with me, darling?” He hums into the crook of his neck. Small love bites enunciate the words, and Hongjoong drags his tongue over each little mark he paints on Yeosang’s skin. 

Yeosang honestly feels like he is floating on a different plane of existence. He doesn’t process any of what Hongjoong said, only the touches and cool sensation of air hitting the path of spit Hongjoong left on his chest. It’s concerning enough to make Hongjoong sit back and look Yeosang directly in the eye.

“Yeosang, baby, are you with me?”

“Hm? Oh, yes, yes, hyung. I’m — I’m here, yes,” Yeosang replies this time as Hongjoong pulls him out of the state of delirium.

“What’s our color, doll?” Rather than responding, Yeosang preens at the name Hongjoong calls him, a lopsided smile covering his lips.

“I like that, hyung. Can you — can you call me that again please?”

“I need your color first, Yeo. Is it too much? Do we need to stop?” Hongjoong cradles the younger’s face in his hands, caressing the soft skin of his cheeks and trying to make the younger look him in the eye. Even the smallest touch sends Yeosang spiraling, like he’s swimming through dark water and can’t figure out what’s going on around him.

“I don’t want to stop. I’m… I’m okay,” Yeosang insists through a nod. “I just need a few minutes to recover a bit. ‘m still green, I promise. I’m too — t-touch is too much right now.” Hongjoong nods and retracts his hands from the visual’s face, and Yeosang instantly inhales a deep breath of air like he’s been starving for it all this time. 

“Have you come yet, Woo baby?” Hongjoong shifts his focus over to the other man in the room, and Yeosang follows his stare over to land on where Wooyoung sits. Said man shakes his head quickly, fingers loosely wrapped around the base of his cock. “Can you last a little while longer?”

“Y-Yeah, of course, hyung.” 

That has Hongjoong smirking again, and the leader slips off the bed to stand up straight.

“Good because I’ve changed my mind,” he hums, stepping closer to where Wooyoung sits. He steps around the back of the chair. Yeosang makes brief eye contact with the man as he lays his hands down on Wooyoung’s shoulders, eyes glinting a bit under the fluorescent lights. “Yeosangie is going to ride your pretty little cock, and I…” Hongjoong curls his fingers around Wooyoung’s jaw and shifts the younger to look at him. He pushes two digits past Wooyoung’s lips, pressing down so hard on his tongue that Yeosang can hear the way Wooyoung gags around him. “I’m gonna fuck your mouth just the way you like. Understood?”

Wooyoung mumbles around Hongjoong’s fingers, taking them deeper into his mouth without complaint, and that seems to be answer enough with the way Wooyoung blinks up at his hyung through his lashes.

“Good boy,” Hongjoong praises before pushing his fingers further down Wooyoung’s throat. “Yeosang, darling, take your time. There’s no rush, okay? Woo could sit here with my hand in his mouth for hours and be satisfied.”

Yeosang spends the next several minutes just observing the scene before him. It’s oddly euphoric to simply stare at them in this state, Wooyoung still seated in that chair and Hongjoong standing behind him with an arm curled around the front of his body. Wooyoung seems to be working his tongue over Hongjoong’s fingers based on the dripping trail of saliva that pools at the corners of his lips every few minutes. And Hongjoong was correct: Wooyoung seems perfectly content like that, happily lavishing the older’s fingers as Hongjoong cards his other hand through Wooyoung’s dark hair.

By the time Yeosang finally pulls himself to his feet, his legs are somewhat wobbly and shaky, but he drags himself to where Wooyoung is seated with little issue. While his own cock has softened down to a semi-hard state, Wooyoung is still rock hard and twitching between his legs, hands clasped tight around the arms of the chair. Yeosang drops himself to Wooyoung’s lap without warning, and it startles the man so badly that he bites down hard on Hongjoong’s fingers. Hongjoong takes it without complaint, only letting out a soft hiss and yanking Wooyoung’s hair until the younger moans around his hand.

“Are you feeling alright, doll?” Hongjoong leans over Wooyoung’s head to get in Yeosang’s space. The visual greets him with a quick and daring kiss, then places both hands atop where Wooyoung’s sit on the armrests. 

“Perfect as can be.”

Hongjoong smiles into the kiss. He pulls off too soon for Yeosang’s liking, but Yeosang understands why he does so after a moment because the leader slips his fingers out of Wooyoung’s wet mouth and takes to stripping himself of the rest of his clothes like the rest of them. In the break of touching from Hongjoong, Yeosang and Wooyoung finally look at each other — Yeosang with teeth sunk deep into his lower lip, and Wooyoung with eyes glazed in lust.

“I’ve been waiting so long for this,” Wooyoung admits after a second. 

“Well, you don’t have to wait any longer,” Yeosang replies with a smile before taking Wooyoung’s face into his hands. Their lips meet in a shy kiss at first, one that is testing and exploring the waters around them before they let themselves get caught up in the thick air of arousal in the room. Wooyoung shifts his hands to Yeosang’s delicate hips. He presses his thumbs to the pale skin there with enough force to bruise, but the pressure is heady and delicious in Yeosang’s mind. 

Yeosang blindly fumbles around between his legs in search of Wooyoung’s cock, and once he finally has a hold of it, he pushes up on his knees to make space for Wooyoung to slip his cock between the cleft of Yeosang’s ass. They both release a shaky sigh into each other’s mouths, and Yeosang is ready to fully drop his hips on Wooyoung’s cock if not for Hongjoong stopping him at the last second.

“Don’t get too ahead of yourself, darling, you need more lube.” Hongjoong disappears behind his back, and Yeosang doesn’t bother to see what he’s doing until he feels something cool hit his backside. His whole body jolts forward against Wooyoung, hands latching onto the younger’s shoulders as the chilly lube slips lower. That feeling thankfully doesn’t last long because Wooyoung presses back into Yeosang’s hole with much more ease this time. Yeosang sinks down onto his heels once more, taking the younger’s cock deeper and deeper until Wooyoung’s thighs are flush with his ass.

He looks up from Wooyoung’s chest, intent on kissing the man under him, but Hongjoong has occupied his mouth in the meantime. And if Yeosang thought seeing Wooyoung with fingers between his lips was a sight to behold, the image of him with a cock filling his mouth is even better. So good in fact that Yeosang goes a little breathless at the sight. Hongjoong has a hand wrapped around the back of Wooyoung’s head, tilting the younger towards his crotch where Wooyoung slurps messily around his member with no shame. Hongjoong coos soft praises down at the man all the while, and it spurs Yeosang to start moving his hips. He desperately wants to hear that praise as well, he wants them to tell him that he’s doing a good job and being so good for them. He is so needy for it that he works his thighs as hard as he can, bringing a pleasant burn to the muscles. 

Yeosang’s erratic movements have Wooyoung releasing a litany of moans around Hongjoong’s cock, hands fumbling to grasp at his hips so he can buck up into Yeosang’s tight heat with little sense of rhythm. There’s no real point in trying to find a rhythm with Wooyoung, Yeosang learns that quickly because every time he tries to build a steady pace, Wooyoung jerks up with a thrust that throws Yeosang off-balance. So, instead, Yeosang just focuses on his small bounces and grinding his hips down when there’s a break in Wooyoung’s thrusts. Wooyoung loses his control on Hongjoong’s cock soon as well, and his timed bobs turn into letting his jaw go slack so that Hongjoong can simply thrust into his mouth instead. The sounds in the room are purely erotic, too loud between the wet slaps of skin, Yeosang’s mewls, and Wooyoung’s gagged moans around Hongjoong’s member, but Hongjoong manages to be relatively quiet himself with only a few sporadic moans here and there. 

“Look at you, doll.”

Yeosang cracks an eye open, panting through a whimper when he sees the way Hongjoong is currently staring at him. 

“You’re doing so well for us. Look at him, Woo, look how good he is on top of you like this.” Hongjoong stretches his free hand out towards Yeosang. He reaches for the younger’s face, but Yeosang twists his neck at the last second and catches Hongjoong’s thumb between his teeth instead. He maintains a piercing stare with the leader as he sucks the digit into his mouth, effectively muting his noises. Hongjoong’s hips lose their rhythm, and he freezes with cock halfway down Wooyoung’s throat to just stare at Yeosang in absolute wonder for so long that Yeosang thinks he truly broke the man. Wooyoung slips off Hongjoong’s cock.

“Hyung,” he whines, tone so hoarse that Yeosang would be surprised if he could talk at all tomorrow. 

“S-Shit,” Hongjoong exhales, and it’s the first time that Yeosang has seen the man’s composure break in the slightest since this started. That causes his chest to swell with pride, heady arousal filling his veins, and he squeezes hard around Wooyoung’s cock. It’s all the younger needs to come, apparently, because Wooyoung releases a startled yelp that is so loud that Hongjoong has to rush to muffle him with his cock before someone comes rushing to the door. Yeosang isn’t expecting to come as soon as he does, but he is quick to follow Wooyoung in coming, hot spurts of come painting Wooyoung’s stomach and Yeosang’s hands where they rest atop Wooyoung’s sternum. He can’t stop moving, nor does Wooyoung let him with the grip he maintains on Yeosang’s hips, thus the two of them ride out their orgasms together like that until their bodies give out to the pleasure. 

Yeosang collapses forward, smearing the cum between their bodies further as he drops his head to Wooyoung’s right shoulder. Hongjoong is still working hard to come himself, and Wooyoung returns to his senses enough to assist him. Yeosang can only watch on from where he’s perched. Every muscle in his body aches and burns, but the lingering haze of his orgasms leaves him feeling warm and fuzzy inside.

“S-Shit, Woo, gonna come on you like this,” Hongjoong warns, fingers tightening around the man’s hair. Wooyoung pulls off his cock and replaces his mouth with a hand. He splays his tongue out before the head of Hongjoong’s dick, somehow managing to giggle as he strokes his hyung to completion. Hongjoong releases onto Wooyoung’s tongue and face, and Wooyoung takes every last drop until he’s milked Hongjoong dry. 

When he finally lets go of the man’s cock, Wooyoung turns back to Yeosang, twisting a hand through his hair and pulling his face up until they’re eye level, then he plants his lips atop Yeosang’s. The come is still there, sticking to his face and tongue, but Yeosang sinks into the kiss without complaint. Wooyoung thrusts his tongue into the visual’s mouth. Hongjoong’s come is salty and warm, so bitter that Yeosang almost chokes on it, but Wooyoung fares much better, although that’s probably because he has a lot more practice swallowing come than Yeosang does. Yeosang takes it as best he can, swallowing every drop that Wooyoung pushes between his lips, and he even goes so far as to clean the come off Wooyoung’s face between soft kisses. 

“Hyung,” Yeosang exhales, and he looks up to where Hongjoong stands beside them. Hongjoong seems to guess exactly what he wants with little trouble, bending at the waist to give him a sloppy kiss, and Yeosang hums into the touch. 

“What about me?” Wooyoung whines the moment they detach, and Hongjoong has enough mercy to offer a kiss to him as well.

“I’ll give you more in the shower,” he promises after pecking the younger’s forehead. “I’ll go get the water running. You two come join when you’re ready, yeah?”

Hongjoong leaves the two of them there, still seated in that damn chair with Wooyoung’s softened cock deep in Yeosang’s ass. They don’t move right away, and frankly, Yeosang is more than okay with that because his body feels weightless and unreal at the moment. 

“Want me to carry you to the bathroom?” Wooyoung offers through a smile. Yeosang only hums in response and tucks his head further into Wooyoung’s neck.

“I really… Wooyoung, I really like you. More than just sexually,” he admits, watching a bead of sweat trickle down the side of Wooyoung’s face. “You and Hongjoong both.”

“I like you both too, so I don’t see why that would be an issue.”

“Really?” Yeosang murmurs. And maybe it’s just the afterglow of the sex or the pent-up emotions rolling through Yeosang’s chest, but the corners of his eyes prick with unshed tears and his heart clenches in his chest.

“I thought it was obvious this whole time, yeah. And I know… I know Hongjoong feels the same even if he’s not always good at voicing his feelings all the time.” Yeosang squeezes his arms around Wooyoung’s midsection at that. A soft kiss lands on his forehead, then Wooyoung shifts their weight and tucks his hands under Yeosang’s thighs.

“Are you two dolts coming or not? I’m wasting hot water over here, hurry it the fuck up!”

“He loves us!” Wooyoung laughs into the shell of Yeosang’s ear, carrying him off to join Hongjoong in the bathroom before the leader complains again.

“Yeah, I think he does,” Yeosang murmurs more to himself than to anyone else.

﹎﹎﹎

[seokjinsdisciple]

Valentine - Two

A lifetime together told through 37 Valentine’s Days.

jaehyun x reader

warnings: some angst, language, fluff, SLOW UPDATES

AN: lmao i have been so close to finishing this for literally almost a month now,,,, im so sorry

word count: 1.4k

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series masterlist

There were so many things about Jung Jaehyun that annoyed you, that most of the time you couldn’t even remember what they were. Right now, it was the way he obnoxiously chewed with his mouth open. You sighed, glancing out of the window of the diner at the darkening sky. It was the night before Valentine’s day, and since Jaehyun would be going on a date with Mina, the two of you were celebrating tonight. At least that was the plan before Mina had walked through the diner’s door. 

So here you sat, a complete third wheel as you fiddled with Jaehyun’s birthday/Valentine gift under the table. The two of them were engrossed in conversation, and you could do nothing but watch as they laughed at one another. 

You couldn’t fault them really, they were still in the honeymoon stage of their relationship. Plus, it’s not like you didn’t like Mina. She was sweet, and really talented and pretty. You just didn’t think they were good for each other. You hadn’t ever liked any of Jae’s significant others. It wasn’t anything personal, it just always seemed like he fell too fast, and ended up heartbroken a few months later. You let out another sigh before slipping your coat on. 

“Jae, I’m gonna head out,” you spoke quickly, sliding out of the both, “I forgot I had a thing with my parents.”

You waited for a second for him to acknowledge you, but he was in his own world. You just nodded, letting out a little sarcastic chuckle. You pulled your bag up on your shoulder, saying another goodbye before walking out of the diner's doors and into the chilly February night. 

You made your way through the parking lot, walking home by yourself. A much different ending to this night than you had thought. You took one last look back, frowning at the scene you saw through the window. Jaehyun sat across from Mina now, her figure filling the side of the booth where yours was normally found. They sat with their hands intertwined, and the way he smiled at her made your heart clench. 

You made your way through the streets of your little town, trying (and failing) to get Jaehyun out of your mind. Kicking rocks as you came across them, your thoughts trailed to last year's Valentine’s day. How naive you had been to think that Jaehyun wouldn’t find someone else to love. It wasn’t until you really felt the chill on your cheeks that you realized you had been crying. 

“God, what a drama queen,” you said to yourself, wiping the wetness from your cheeks quickly. 

The truth was, you were having a rough start to high school. Jaehyun was your only friend, and those who were close to you last year swiftly abandoned you the first week of 9th grade. You couldn’t blame Jaehyun, he had three times as many friends as you did, and as much as you hated to admit it, he was doing better with you keeping a bigger distance from him at school. You knew he wasn’t distancing himself on purpose, in fact, he probably didn’t notice. Your only solace were the weekends spent with him. Doing the things you had always done before. But even those were getting harder and harder to plan, with him spending most of his freetime with Mina. 

It was foolish to have gotten this excited about celebrating tonight. And now here you were sad and disappointed that things hadn’t turned out like you imagined. You pushed open the front door of your house, slipping your shoes off and making your way to your bedroom. You carelessly threw Jaehyun’s gift on the bed. You’d have to give it to him the next time you saw him. Whenever that would be. 

You got ready for bed, avoiding looking in the mirror as much as you could. You hated watching yourself cry, it just made you feel worse. You plopped down on the bed, lightly pushing Jaehyun’s gift off of the edge with your foot. You sighed as you pulled your stuffed deer closer to your chest. Your thoughts were a swirling mess, your feelings were too. 

You thought back to last year, how you were able to tell Jaehyun everything so easily. How he would listen to you attentively and hug you until you felt better. He always made you feel better. So why was it that you were so hesitant to share your feelings with him now. You lay awake for a while, thinking about everything, the feeling of loneliness filling you as the clock hit midnight. 

You pulled out your phone, the bright light making your eyes squint, but your fingers tapped lightly on the screen anyway. “Happy birthday, dork.” Your text message read, a tear falling down your cheek as you took a deep breath. Today was supposed to be your day. Yours and Jaehyun’s. 

The buzz from your phone made you rub your bleary eyes. “You are always the first person to say it bambi <3.”

You stared at his response awhile, your heart skipping a beat every time your eyes scanned over the heart he sent at the end. “Pull yourself together.” You thought, hitting your head lightly with your hand. It was easy to fall asleep after that, the promise of good dreams featuring Jaehyun motive enough for you to actually get some rest. 

--

You stood in front of your locker, chatter filling the hall in the time that was left before first period. You were slipping your books into your locker, at least the ones that you wouldn’t need until after lunch. Your thoughts had once again trailed to Jaehyun. He was on your mind today, not like the past three days he had also been on your mind. You blew out the air in your cheeks, trying to drive his dimpled smile from your mind. Surprisingly it worked. 

The rest of the school day passed by pretty normally. Everyone was a little off of their rocker and excited at every sign of romance they could see. From Jessica getting a bouquet of flowers to Jack and Jeremy kissing in the hallway, your peers were gung-ho for any sign of love. You, however, were a little less ecstatic. It wasn’t like you were pining over anyone, especially Jaehyun, you just missed your best friend. 

You made your way through the school, weaving your way in and out of students who were hurrying to get home so that they could go to their respective valentine’s day plans. You, however, had nothing to do later. Even your parents were ditching you to go on a date. 

It wasn’t until you felt a hand in your own that you stopped zoning out and glanced at the person who had slid your hand into their own. To be fair, you knew who it was before you even looked. You smiled up at Jaehyun, wrapping your other arm around his waist in a quick hug.

“Don’t you have a date with Mina?” you asked as JAehyun walked with you in the direction of your houses. 

“Technically, yes,” he started, “but I figured I owed you one for completely brushing you off yesterday.”

“You do, you asshole,” you smiled up at him, his pout deepening at your teasing, “but that doesn’t mean I want Mina to get mad at you, or me for that matter.”

“If she gets mad at me for wanting to spend my birthday with my best friend then, we aren’t gonna last very long.”

You just shook your head as you unlocked your back door, Jaehyun hovering close to you in order to stay warm. 

“I know you don’t mean that, Jay,” you spoke quickly, leading him up to your room and starfishing on your bed.

“I do mean it,” he whispered, throwing himself next to you on the bed. He looked you in the eyes, his hand finding yours as he smiled, “you are the most important girl in my life, bambi.”

Your stomach flipped, a grin spreading across your face as butterflies exploded in your body at his words. The same feeling you had last night at his text message filled your body again. You couldn’t resist it. You couldn’t stop yourself from grinning like an idiot. 

As you lay there on your bed, Jaehyun’s hand in yours and his dimples causing your heart to pound, you realized one thing. The most annoying thing about Jung Jaehyun, and the worst thing he has ever done.

 He made you fall irreversibly in love with him.

[zuffer-weird-girl]

It's Valentine's day 💌🌹🌹🌹🌹💖💌

He never once thought he would be actually enjoying and, dare he say, even waiting for this special date.

The holiday was utterly stupid in his eyes. Bunch of couples around the streets, anywhere actually, showing their supposed 'love' towards each other. He felt sick and the urge of vomit or to overhaul those things.

Love was dead. No one was pure or even honest about thosr things. Is a complete waste of time, pacience and money most of all.

... that was what he always thought until he met a certain angel who just barged in his life.

You were the only one who actually made him feel something. Something good, swert but not nauseous, suffocating but not deadly... ever day he found himself craving more and more for those things you and only your angelic and pure person can do.

He wanted to give you the world, the skies, hell. Everthing. You deserved the galaxy.

Ever since you two got more intimate you made him promise to go easy on his gifts and attempts to spoil you... although yoy couldn't escape this one.

Valentine's was made for partners to waste theur money and he was going to expend thousands billions of yens if he wanted to.

It was a day where he could show his love for you in gifts! What's better than that? He always sucked at words and affections but gifts he knew it very well.

He woke up on that morning, already in hopes to get out of the room without waking you up before his eyes widen at seing your side empty.

"What the fuck?" He mumbled as he sitted up while grabbing his mask.

Where did you went? Most importantly. HOW did you get off from the bed without wakening him?

His questions were soon answered when he heard your giggles and turned around to see you laying with one side of yours on the door frame, with a adorable and beautiful smile at him.

"Good morning buttercup, slept well?" He sended daggers through his glare and ignoring his pink as hell cheeks at that disgusting pet name.

"What the hell you're doing awake brat?" He grunted before getting up to grab one of his shirts.

You walked towards him before pushing his shoulder a bit to the side while you lowered his mask down to plant a kiss, giggling at noticing hos gis breath had hitched on his throat.

"Happy Valentine's day!" You chirped with a smile "Ah don't worry I brushed my teeth handsome, no morning breath."

He growled while pitching the bridge of his nose in false irritation.

"Stop with those pet names, is embarrassing and disgusting to gear those atrocities leaving your mouth."

"Hey, I'm allowed to do this all day cutie." He flipped your forehead with a 'enough' while you giggled.

"When you're ready can you come to the kitchen for a bit? I thought on maybe bringing you on here but... It would be messy." You scraatched the back of your neck while he deadpanned at you, shirt still on his hands.

"..congrats." he mumbled while finally putting his shirt on "You have a brain."

He smirked underneath his mask at your pout and the way you mockingly poked your tongue out before lefting the room.

He cursed hinself for thinking already on innaproprietate things the moment he saw that pink muscle of yours between those lips he loved so much.

Later Chisaki Kai. Later. For fucks sake what he had become?

He slowly made his way through the halls of the house, smirking at his cellphone at seing his demand would be delivered at least on the afternoon.

One of the many gifts he would be giving to his angel.

Although the smirk had quickly fallen while he saw the table of the kitchen mainly filled with things that he liked.

No. No you just did not-

"So?" You singed besided him "Whacha you think?"

"Angel I just despised you and love at the same time what the hell did you do to me?" You errupted in laughter while he only glared at you with a 'I'm serious'.

Angel: one, devil: zero. Not for long though.

Right after you both had breakfast he went to his office and demanded that you followed him as well. On the middle of thehallway he stopped walking besides you only to be behind your back and cover your eyes with his big and gloved hands.

He pushed the door with his foot carefully, whispering huskily on your ear to keep your eyes closed as the wamrth of his hands dissapeared on the dark.

You heard some shuffling before you felt those hands again undressing you slowly.

"Hm already for dessert devil?" You giggled at the scoff and the quick pinch he gave it to you.

"Shut your filth mouth." He grumbled as he placed another type of fabric, you shivered at the cold feeling of the new material enveloping your skin.

"Take a few steps and..." he standed behind you to admire the clothing for a bit on your body as he crossed his arms "Open."

You gasped at seing the familiar clothing. You and Chisaki were hanging around one day and you just had stopped to look at one black and shiny elegant dress on the showcase, and as a little accessory a purse coming along.

You had joked about how expensive and waste of money it would be for anyone but you also made the mistake on saying the sentence 'is pretty beautiful though. Wish I had the money for those things."

The moment you also joked about going into meeting aling with Kai while wearing those didn't really helped. And you were genuinely shocked when he only nodded before returning to his walk.

You thought that he had stopped that tendency of looking at you only einfow shopping and straight forward just going to buy it... ok, you were wrong. He was still doing that.

"Kai!" You gasped breathless as he only had that smug look.

"Also here." He picked a two boxes on his desk, one smaller than the other "The ones you had were getting old."

"A new laptop and cellphone?! Kai you're insane?!" You asked in disbelief almost dropping the electronics on the ground.

"No. I'm close to being, if Im not already, a sociopath. But I am completely san-"

"You know what I meant! Kai oh my god please tell me these three are the only ones, you surely wasted a lot of money on tjose already!" You said in worry as you looked at the prices of the devices.

The worst of all is that... your "old" laptop and cellphone weren't exactly old and were working pretty well... and your botfriend just bought you the newest one on the marketing.

"I won't lie to you." He said simply, blocking the possible facepalm you were going to do with his own hand. "You will hurt yourself like that."

~

Jesus Christ you felt like you were going to combust.

Chisaki REALLY WENT OVERBOARD on this. He had payed for everthing one week before the valentines and the more you thought was over the more it came the expensive and luxurious things.

You blushed crinson red when you saw a pair of lingerie, not expecting Kai to bought THAT in specific. You almost dropped dead when he showed you some swiss chocolate; although you giggled at his cuteness when he taste it the sweet things and his eyes sparkled a bit at the taste. Present after present and you were getting slightly anxious.

"K-kai?" You said smilling but worry still evident on his box while he signed on some paper before getting a box out of Chrono's hands with a nod while looking at you.

"Here dearest." He showed you the box and you had to gulp down the desperate screan you wanted to let out "You said once how those dishes were adorable or something related, so here is the whole dinnerware set."

You sighed with a smile before picking the box and placing it down, your boyfriend arching one of his eyebrows at your action before you looked up at him.

"There's more?" You asked while crossing your arms.

"A few yes but-"

"That's enough Kai." You interrupted, quickly smilling at seing his face "My devil I love and appreciate with all my heart all those things, how you listen to me and pay attention to every detail. But-" you laughed before pointing at the boxes "T-This is way too much! Kai you can't just buy anything that I mention it and almost drow me on gifts."

He sighed in annoyance before pinching the space between his eyebrows.

"Angel, this is all for you. Money is not something you need to worry about anyway, besides, you already did the breakfast without my knowledge... I just want you to have everything you deserve." He brough his hand down while he looked at you with something else in those golden eyes. "Is it that wrong?"

"Is not wrong. But it is when you go over board. Kai, buying me expensives and lots of things wont make me love you any more or less." You took a few steps only to be inches away from gis toned chest as you stared uo at him "Can we just be... casual? There's going to happen a meteor rain and I would love to watch it with the love of my life..." you lifted your hand up and hesitated to touch his face before you smiled warmingly at seing his gloved hand holded yours. "Honestly? Is all I ask. You with me is the best thing I can have."

He seemed in deep thought at a moment before he sighed in annoyance, messing with your hair as he mumbled his agreement... secretly loving the way your eyes widened and shined in adoration at him.

~

You were indeed a quirkless unique angel. And only his.

Every one in your place would have savored it, taken advantage of the situation while greedily accepting what a yakusa member could offer...

Yet here he was, simple clothes along with yours... sitted on the balcony with mugs of tea on hands, you staring at the dark but shint sky as his fazed remained fixed on your features.

Pure. You were pure from this sick society. Having you in his kife was like a damn blessing and a readon for him to live... you showed hin feelings that he thought it didn't exist it, nothing more than stupid fairytales, and also gave him another reason to keep living... to keep working just as hard as ge could.

To bring the yakusa back fron the shadows and keep his angel safe and sound. Those were his motivations... Pops and you were the only ones kind enough to accept him.

And he was going to repay you both for that. Curing this sick world was one of the many things he was going to do...

But for now... he just would admire the work of art he had on his side.

Your giggles made him arch a eyebrow as he took a sip from his hot drink.

"If you keep staring at me you will lose the show you know, is going to happen soon!" You turned around, your flying along with the breeze of the night making you shiver for a bit.

"I told you to get a coat on idiot." He sayed nonchalantly as he took of his iconic green jacket and placed it over your shoulders.

"Now you will-"

"It's fine." He interrupted as he almost touched your foreheads together "I don't get cold."

"Liar." You pouted mockingly before giggling a it when he pinched your cheek.

You thanked the heavens that you got a shower before nightine or else you wouldn't be able to feel those affectionate subtle touches of your boyfriend...

He was always so straight forward with his despise of touch, but thise were the moments where you recorded scenes like earlier today... where you had to escape like a damn ninja from a mobster iron grip on bed as he slept peacefully.

You gasped when you saw the first oe s falling, getting a bit away from Kai to point out in the skies like a toddler on a candy or toy store.

"Kai Kai! Look! Is starting!" You jumped in exciment on your seat ehile Chisaki only looked up for a few seconds, widening his eyes a bit before returning it back to normal...

He looked down at your smile and the way your eyes shined at seing the natural show... he swore that on that moment he fell even more for you.

He smiled sincerely, not taking his eyes off from you. You noticed that and turned with a mocking smile.

"Hey you're not paying attention! Is going to end soon!" You gasped in surprise when he cupped your face on his hand as he lowered fown his mask, smile still on his lips.

Screw the stars, this was a sign of heaven. Chisaki's smile could cure even the worst of diseases.

"What happened with my 'I don't give a fuck' face boyfriend?" You asked while melting on his touch and love gaze.

"You should be the one answering this... you made me fall for you angel. And I surprisingly have no regrets." He brushed his lips against yours before closing the fisgusting distance along with your desperation to feel his scent and lips connected with yours.

Just when things were getting... hotter a knock interrupted you both, causing you two to groan.

"Sorry to bother ya love birds but the package of thousands roses came Overhaul."

You blinked before glaring playfully at him, while him just sended Mimic back and to jot come back until tommorow.

You both had things to get done.

[duskastormgrove]

SSO February Prompt Day 14: Your Valentine

something different for this prompt, i decided to write and post something for the first time in 6 years!

this is a oneshot about my oc making a gift for ydris, i had intended for it to be able to be interpreted as platonic but uhhh that didn’t happen! anyway don’t razz me too hard im out of practice.

This was not nearly enough bee balm. Duska had thought her crafting larder well stocked but while she had flax coming out of her ears her supply of bee balm meant the dye would not nearly be purple enough. She had a full day of stutching, crimping and brushing the flax and spinning it into thread, there was no way she could spare the time to grab more. However, Duska was lucky enough to have very loyal (and very bored) friends, and her first instinct was to pull up her chat with Alex.

D: girl help

A: what you need bb

D: bee balm

D: as much as you can carry

A: can I ask what for?

D: valentine’s gift I’m making

A: :o

A: omw

True to her word, Alex was in Valedale and jogging to the workshop within the hour. In her arms was a bundle of bee balm and her fingers were faintly green from furiously yanking up the stems.

“You’re a lifesaver Alex,”Duska groaned in relief, immediately relieving her friend of her burden and starting to strip the blossoms from the stems.

“Least I could do considering you helped me ask Maya out last Christmas!” Alex hoisted herself up onto the only uncluttered workbench to watch Duska work. She was silent for all of thirty seconds before the prodding began, “sooooo, who’s the lucky person?”

Duska pointedly ignored her and threw the flowers into a boiling pot. She stirred and hummed in a satisfied way when the violet colour began to bleed into the water. She didn’t look up when Alex came to stand behind her and look into the pot as well. Eventually Duska banged the spoon on the side of the pot and dropped it onto the bench.

“You’re thinking too hard, I can see the smoke coming out of your ears,” she snapped, jabbing a finger at Alex’s forehead.

“It’s just- the colour looked familiar but like, I don’t want to assume or anything but uh… it’s circus bae, right?”

“Please. Never call him that again I feel part of me die when you do,” Duska moaned, rubbing her temples. “But yes, I’m making a new ringmaster’s jacket for Ydris. I felt bad I scorched his usual one.”

“When he was keeping Concorde prisoner and turned you into a 5 carat Lusitano?”

“You know it wasn’t out of malice, Alex. It’s hard to explain but when he talked about Pandoria under threat from Garnok he seemed so hopeless and scared. I really think he was desperate and taking desperate measures.”

Alex was quiet for a while and sat herself back on the workbench. Duska put the lid on the pot and waited until it started rattling before she turned the heat down to a simmer. Another hour or so and she could start straining the colour away from the flowers. In the meantime she could stutch more flax and get it ready to be spun on the wheel. She might even have time to make cloth on the loom today!

“Is this the part where you beat the shit out of the plants?” Alex asked, swinging her legs in excitement, “Can I help out? Please? I’ll beat it up so good I promise!” Duska sighed but laid the stems over the board and showed Alex how to beat the fibres out properly with the stutching stick. Soon the Lightning Circle Rider was happily smacking the flax and Duska could sit at the wheel and start spinning lengths of thread from the flax she’d stutched, crimped and brushed out earlier. The sounds of the wheel turning and the steady thumpthumpthump of Alex working away were almost soothing to Duska’s ears. Alex was a chatty type of friend, moreso than Lisa or Anne but there was no such thing as an uncomfortable silence with her, simply working in the same room was enough for her, especially if she thought she was being helpful.

“All finished!” Alex proclaimed as she ran the last of the coarse flax through the brush, “Can I do anything else Dus?”

“Nothing that I can think of,” Duska said regretfully, “thanks so much for today, I really appreciate it.”

“Eh, that’s what pals are for!” Alex said, slapping a hand on Duska’s shoulder and went to leave the workshop, “I’ll see you at the Galentine’s trail ride!” Duska waved fondly and rolled her shoulders before hunching back over the spinning wheel, just an hour or so more and she could move to the loom, another backbreaker.

“Oh and Duska?” Duska looked up from the wheel, to see Alex’s face, smiling but with a worried crease to her brow, “Be careful alright?”

 ---------------------

“Sorry I’m late Daxton, took forever to load these screens onto Clover’s back, nearly dropped them in the Hollow Woods too!” Duska hipchecked the door to Daxton’s shop open and sidled in sideways with the two enormous screens she had prepared in advance. Silk, for the inside of the jacket, had a fairly straightforward dyeing process that would lead to a nice pattern. For this one in particular she only needed two screens but she also needed dye baths and a silk dyeing setup she simply didn’t have. This is where Daxton came in. The anxious tailor had a delightful array of fancy tailor tools and was willing to help her in return for all the deliveries and favours she’d done for him in the last two years.

“Don’t worry, things are slow today,” Daxton reassured her as he grabbed the other side of the screens and helped Duska carry them to the back, “Give me a second I want to clean these up, go check those fabric samples on the desk and make sure they’re the colours you want.” Duska did as instructed, while Daxton polished the screens off with a cloth that reminded her of a cloth she used to scrub the dust off of her horses before a show.

“All good, these are exactly what I’m looking for,” Duska said, laying the fabric down and grabbing a roll of silk material to lay across the rack. She taped it flat and Daxton lay the screen over it, double-checking the placement before he grabbed the bottle of dye. The purple dye went on first and Daxton dragged a large squeegee across the screen to spread it evenly onto the silk. When he moved the screen to the next spot Duska could see the purple pattern, with white blank spaces waiting for the next dye.

“Oh fuck yeah this looks awesome Dax!” she exclaimed and the tailor shushed her.

“Please! I need to concentrate or something awful might happen!” Not willing to take a chance on whether or not this was Daxton’s paranoia at work or an actual possibility, Duska kept silent and simply hovered over his shoulder and watched until the fabric was covered in purple dye.

“Next screen,” Daxton said, wiping sweat from his forehead. Duska hurried to remove the old one and set up the new one. She felt strangely useless here, with Daxton in his element and blasting through silk like no one’s business. This time the gold dye was poured on, and it filled the blank spaces the first screen had left. By the time Daxton reached the end of the roll it was filled entirely with the repeating pattern and Duska was waiting anxiously with a glass of water.

“Aideen’s light, Dax! This is perfect!”

“Okay, we’ll wait until it dries and then you can take it home!” Daxton readjusted his thick glasses to admire his handiwork and gratefully took the glass, “What are you making with this anyway?”

“Oh it’s a Valentine’s day gift.”

The colour drained from Daxton’s face and the hand holding his water began to tremble.

“Jeepers, glad you didn’t tell me it was so important, I would’ve messed it up for sure!”

 -------------------------

It wasn’t unusual for Farah to find her chief apprentice clattering around in the workshop before dawn. Duska was a hard worker and liked to get the orders done and delivered early to free up the rest of her day. She was a busy woman from what Farah saw of her zooming around on various horses and doing chores for residents of Valedale. What was unusual, was the amount of swearing coming from down by the river.

“Everything okay here?” she asked cautiously. Duska looked up, several pins hanging from her mouth and fabric aggressively clutched in her hands.

“It’s fine. It’s… swell.”

“Not sure I believe that one,” Farah laughed, feeling it was safe to approach her apprentice, “Let me in there, I can help out, are we doing a jacket?” She might have felt bad for intruding but Duska’s immediate look of relief assuaged those worries.

“It’s the lapels, I’m stuggling with them, if you could fix them I could finally start the epaulettes?” Duska asked hopefully.

“No problem, it’s a beautiful jacket so far, I love the silk pattern!”

“Thanks, Daxton helped me out with it, it turned out exactly how I wanted,” Duska explained as she went around the back of the mannequin to start sewing the golden fringed epaulettes onto the shoulders, “This is the first time I’ve made a Valentine’s gift, I’m… admittedly a little stressed about it.” Farah raised an eyebrow.

“It’s a lot of effort for a Valentine’s gift.”

“Well, he doesn’t celebrate Christmas, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t have a birthday.”

“He… doesn’t-”

“Don’t worry about it. Just know this is the best time for a gift.” Farah didn’t quite know how to respond so she simply continued on with the lapels in silence. Well, almost silence. Her grandmother always sang while she worked so Farah had picked up the habit too. If she listened carefully after a while she could hear Duska quietly humming along. The two of them finished their respective tasks fairly quickly, and stood back to look at the whole piece together.

“Looks good! Just the cuffs and buttons left yeah? I can help with them if you’d like?” Farah offered, but Duska shook her head.

“I want to do the finishing touches myself, feels a bit more personal that way, if that makes sense?”

“No, no, I get it. Best of luck with it, whoever the lucky person is he’s sure to love it!” Farah turned to go back to the request board, she’d cover the orders today, Duska deserved the day to herself to finish her work. Farah couldn’t help but wonder who such an extravagant ringmaster’s jacket would be meant for.

 -----------------------

February 14th. Now or never. Duska had been tense all morning, and now as she was carefully packing the box into her delivery satchel she almost felt queasy with nerves. This wasn’t such a big deal, the jacket was nice! Ydris wasn’t going to blast her to dust because she gave him a gift, was he? At worst he’d treat it the same as Isebell’s Yule gift and simply not open it. That would almost be preferable. It was still early in the morning so maybe she could simply drop the package into the delivery box and take off before she was noticed. That was a pretty solid plan, she’d have to leave straight away though.

“Duska?”

There goes that plan.

“Sorry Duska, but if you’re heading in that direction could you deliver this herbal tea to Mrs. Holdsworth?” Farah looked contrite enough that Duska loaded the tea into the bag without a word. She was taking Cinder, her beloved soul horse, if any horse was going to give her the confidence she needed it would be the silver dapple mare. With a pat and a cluck of her tongue, Cinder ambled towards the woodland road to Silverglade Village and beyond. A short detour to Moorland wouldn’t add too much time to her journey, not with the way Cinder liked to gallop down the trail leading there. Speaking of which, the warmblood began to toss her head and pull at the bit when they cleared the woods.

“Alright lady, let ‘em have it,”Duska acquiesced, letting the reins go long. Cinder took off with glee, mane flapping, hooves pounding, and nearly jostling Duska right out of the saddle. This pace would definitely keep them on time!

 “I have your tea leaves Mrs. H,” Duska greeted her favourite neighbourhood witch.

“Thank you darling, sit down and have a cup with me why don’t you?” Mrs Holdsworth patted the picnic bench and Duska was sorely tempted to delay the inevitable by having tea and a chat with her.

“Sorry but, I kind of have an important delivery to do, maybe tomorrow?”

“A gift for a paramour?” Mrs. Holdsworth guessed, a little too accurately and with a glint in her eye.

“Ugh. Who told you?”

“Alex is never a great keeper of secrets, but to give her credit she only confided in me because she was worried,” Mrs. Holdsworth propped her cane against the bench and sat down, “Let me have a peek.” Duska reluctantly dismounted and let Cinder graze while she carefully unboxed the jacket and displayed it to the wise old woman.

Mrs. Holdsworth took her time examining the jacket, turning over the sleeves, peering at the stitching over her half rim glasses and rubbing a thumb over the silk lining. Duska almost felt like she was being assessed for an exam. She wanted to get a good grade on the ‘Old Woman Critiques Your Lovesick Tailoring Exam’. A totally fine and normal thing to want.

“Hm!” Mrs. Holdsworth finally proclaimed. She shuffled over to the base of one of the cherry trees in her yard and bent down, grabbing a handful of grass in the shadow of the tree. “Show me the front again?” Duska flipped the jacket and came closer, careful not to let the coattails drag in the dirt. Mrs. Holdsworth threaded the grass through one of the button holes and tied a knot in the stems. She put her hands on her hips and nodded approvingly. “There you are dearie, now off you go, Valentine’s Day waits for no one!”

Duska repacked the jacket cautiously and looked closer at the grass. Instead of simple blades, Mrs. Holdsworth had put a small bouquet of clovers into the topmost button hole.

------------------------

Time was now of the essence. Duska slid off Cinder’s back as soon she skidded to a halt at Nilmer’s Highland and sprinted to the delivery box. Any courage she’d built up on her exhilarating gallop to get there was rapidly deserting her and she wanted to vault back onto Cinder and scamper back to Valedale as fast as humanly possible. Still, ‘fast as humanly possible’ wasn’t enough to outspeed a leisurely Pandorian stroll, as to her horror, the door of the wagon swung open just as the delivery box lid swung closed.

“Little dove!” Ydris boomed, “to what do I owe the pleasure? I don’t recall making an order at Ms. Farah’s quaint little workshop.” Duska couldn’t do anything to intervene as Ydris flipped the lid and dipped his hand in for the box. “Oh?” He hummed, gently tugging at the ribbon, “a gift for the amazing Ydris? I appear to have an admirer, my dove.”

“Sure seems so,” Duska managed through gritted teeth. He smirked at her and started to prod and poke and shake the box, holding it to his ear and tapping a rhythm on the side. “I know you’re not from around here,” Duska intoned heavily, “but it’s considered rude to look at the box and not open it.”

“Silly me! Let me unravel this mystery!” With one yank on the ribbon the knot fell apart, somehow, and Ydris discarded it over his shoulder. He opened the lid, casting that to one side and too khold of the jacket by the lapels, letting the other half of the packaging fall too. “What do we have… here...?”

Duska held her breath as Ydris fell silent. Silence was unnerving with the ringmaster, as was the look he was giving his gift. His face was carefully expressionless as he turned the coat over, gently brushing his hand over the eggplant purple linen. He drifted up to the golden epaulettes, twirling the fringe between his fingers. Finally he opened the jacket, revealing the purple and gold repeating pattern of-

“Panda rays,” he breathed. There was something almost reverent about the way he traced their shapes and Duska felt almost like she shouldn’t be watching him.

“Yeah they’re one of the nicer things I’ve met from Pandoria, sweet little guys,” she responded, looking to fill the awkward quiet. Ydris looked over at her, seeming surprised at her presence, like he’d forgotten she was there. He shook his head and his smirk was back in its usual place.

“One of? Should I consider that a compliment?” Ydris held the jacket out to her and a horrible swooping feeling in her stomach made her hands shake as she took it, but she was quickly relieved of it again as he whipped his old coat off and traded it for his new one in one fluid motion. He pulled the jacket on with a flourish and twirled in a circle to make the tailcoats flare outwards. “How do I look, little dove?”

“I’d trust you to run a circus looking like that,” Duska smiled weakly, feeling relieved that the ringmaster seemed to like it.

“Ah,” Ydris’ twirling came to a stop and he looked suddenly thoughtful, “but I cannot accept this, I have nothing to give you in return.” Duska began to stammer that there was no need to return the favour but Ydris shushed her. “All I can offer, temporarily, is this.”

He took her hand, softly, gently, like a breeze gently tugging it upwards. He leaned forward, all two metres of him, and when she could feel his breath on her skin he snapped his eyes up to meet hers.

“May I?” Thrown by his question Duska just nodded, and he gently pressed his lips to the back of her hand. Her skin tingled and when she dared to look a soft pink mark was glowing on her hand. “Anytime, anywhere, press here and call me, and I’ll come and find you, no matter what, that is a solemn vow, my dove,” Ydris murmured, in a tone far softer than she’d ever heard from him before.

“T-thank you, Ydris, this is… it’s… I’m honoured you’d trust me with this.” Ydris stood upright, straightening his jacket and looking almost flustered.

“Yes well, maybe wear gloves around your druid friends. It’s a one-way ticket to the druid jail under that quaint summer house.”

“Well if that happens you’ll have to come and rescue me like a dashing knight, won’t you?” Ydris smirked but Duska didn’t miss the faint blush that appeared on his cheeks. It almost glowed like the mark he’d left on her.

“I suppose I shall, and I shall do it looking quite splendid, little dove.”

[sportsarenotoxygen]

GOM valentine’s HCs

some late gom+kuroko+momoi x reader (separately) valentine’s hcs that have probably been done to death before but i still wanted to write some so here! please enjoy!

akashi

akashi definitely shows how happy and grateful he is when he gets your chocolates. so much that he’s almost acting strange if you didn’t know him so well

(because he remembers all those days his mother tried to give his father love and never received any acknowledgement in return. he is not repeating that with you)

he’s super freaking happy and smothers you with kisses and cuddles

then he starts giving back

really giving back like he stays with you the whole day, is a complete gentleman (but more than usual because let’s be real he always is), more affectionate, really does not let you lift a finger

you: sei you know it’s okay, i can carry one bag

akashi: nonsense, it’s my thanks for those chocolates you made. which i absolutely loved by the way

you: you...you said that when you paid for lunch. and when you drove us to the park. and--

akashi: it’s my thanks. for the chocolates i loved. did i mention they were delicious--

you, blushing: ohmygod okay okay fine

midorima

if it’s your unlucky day, midorima’s gonna be watching your back and making this day as good as it could get because yes he believes in oha asa but he will not allow bad luck to ruin your day because he knows you’ve been working so hard to make this day good for the both of you

if it’s his unlucky day, he’s gonna be on edge maybe even entertaining thoughts of whether he should be near you so you’ll have to reassure him that all will be fine

you, over the phone: but i have to give you my gifts!!!!!

midorima: your chances of having a good day will be drastically lowered if i’m with you, so i’ll pick them up tomorrow, nanodayo

you: shintaro! dont! you! dare! think! you! could! ruin! my! day! you make my day so you better!!!! 

midorima: i’m sorry y/n, but i don’t want to risk it

you: well i guess i’ll just wait at the cafe by myself...with all these couples around me...

midorima, guilty: fine. but only for an hour

he’s got your lucky item ready and his own when he gets there

you don’t make a letter for him though, you merely just give a speech about every thing you love about him from his belief in oha asa, to the way he looks out for you, to his love for basketball, his manner of speech and everything else (yes right in that cafe. the elderly couple in the next table over are giving you such fond looks)

by the end of it, he’s a blushing mess and that’s what your goal was all along let’s be honest

aomine

he pretends to think valentine’s a really tacky and stupid day and how ‘theres no point giving anything on this particular day its just stupid’

so much so that you hesitate when giving your chocolates 

you hesitate so much so that he notices and now that he notices he feels slightly bad and tries to drop some hints 

you, reluctantly: it’s really...all in your face huh 

aomine, swearing at himself: it’s not too bad

but when you go the whole day without giving him anything he starts getting worried

aomine, thinking: crap did you think i meant all that

of course, if you actually got him nothing that’s fine too but he doesn’t want the reason you got him nothing was because he thinks it’s stupid

especially when he sees how you’re pointedly trying to ignore every other couple

so, just as you two are about to part ways, he goes

‘look, you know i didnt mean any of that stupid shit. i dont mind valentines chocolates or anything i was just being stupid’

he’s scared to look at you but when he does

youre giving him this shit-eating grin

you, smug: so you finally admit it huh

aomine: what the hell y/n

you reveal that you just wanted him to say all that and now that he has, you’ve won!

he’s half red because of frustration and half because of embarrassment but well

that’s one of the reasons he loves you ofc

kise, murasakibara, kuroko, momoi under the cut!

kise

patiently waits for his chocolates

patiently

but he has to wait hourrrrssss because he has a photoshoot that day which sucks because he’d wanted to stay over so he wouldn’t get caught with fans going over

and inevitably he does get caught by a bunch of fans and gets given loads of chocolates from them

but of course he’s waiting for yours

so he can’t wait until he meets up at your house and you greet him with a bright smile and his is equally as bright

he’s really not subtle at all

kise: hey hey y/n-cchi did you make me some chocolates?????? im really craving chocolates today!!!!!! chocolates you made!!!!! because i love you!!!!! (he had been too excited to realise mayyybe bringing over the chocolates his fans gave him would give the wrong impression so he hastily shoved them all under his coat at the last minute this boy)

you: you can just say you want some you know...i know its valentines 

when you give it to him he’s over the moon. he’s...very dramatic when he tastes them. like a lot

kise: THESE ARE SO GOOD Y/N-CCHI THE BEST CHOCOLATES IVE EATEN IN MY LIFE I LOVE THEM SO MUCH I LOVE YOU--

you, slightly worried: thanks. i think. you know if they’re bad you can just say so--

kise: NO THEY’RE GOOD I SWEAR I JUST

he’s crying tears of joy this silly boy

murasakibara

don’t go outside with this boy during valentine’s 

he will see all those chocolates and sweets and will need them

goodbye money 

you have to promise to buy them all when the clearance sales come out but you and murasakibara enjoy a day-in together maybe baking some sweets yourself because you know that he does actually like to bake despite how ‘lazy and unreluctant’ he seems

he unintentionally does the move where he kisses you and says ‘oh there was something on your face’ because there was genuinely something on your face and he does not realise what a cliche cheesy romance film move that is

you already have some sweets ready so he munches on them whilst you wait for the others to finish

and surprisingly, murasakibara gives you half of what you both made. its special because he usually just gives like...a quarter which is fair because your appetites are nowhere near the same let’s be honest

he does it because he vaguely recalls muro-chin saying something about how “valentine’s day is a special day for y/n-san” and slightly misinterprets it 

it’s a touching gesture coming from him of course

you gotta cherish it because once you two go buy those leftover sweets the next day...

kuroko

you know him well enough by now that you understand that despite how small his smile is, he’s smiling wide inside when you give him the vanilla milkshake you made and maji burger coupons you made/got

he asks for the recipe to make and even though you’re more than willing to tell it to him, he insists that you need to show it to him

you, explaining: so then you just add the rest of the--

kuroko: i apologise, i do not understand, y/n-san. can you please show it to me instead?

you: are you sure? i’m sure you can do it fine!!! here, i’ll write it down!!

kuroko: no, please. i am not confident in my ability. i will be more confident with you by my side 

you blush at his words because they are so genuinely truthful but also cheesy af

so, kinda like murasakibara, you guys make some vanilla milkshakes together

kuroko smiles a heck of a lot but it’s always when you’re back is turned whether it’s getting the ingredients from the cupboard or turning the blender on so you miSS A LOT OF BEAUTIFUL SMILES FROM THIS BOY 

but in the end you two make more than enough for the both of you so you have to store some for later

it only makes the memories last all the more

momoi

well its canon that shes not...great at cooking and that goes for baking 

and contrary to popular belief, she is aware of that fact (she just tries realllllly hard to deny it because her food tastes fine!!! maybe burnt or salty af but fine!!!)

so she tries this time

employing kagami to help her through saying dai-chan will do a one-on-one with him (its not true but. but she will get the redhaired boy to help her make these chocolates the best damn thing you’ve ever tasted or else)

its hard work (kagami thinks he’s worked harder than any basketball game ever)

but the work pays off and the chocolates taste..................good!!!!

momoi is sooooooo excited to give them to you (because of course she is she’s a romantic)

you on the other hand are searching on google for “how to eat food you don’t like” “how to not gag” “how to lie”

because you love love love momoi and do not want to hurt her feelings but h o w will you eat what she makes

so you get such a huge surprise when you anxiously bite into the chocolate and it’s.......

amazing 

and maybe it’s just your love for momoi making you really biased but damn it’s so good!!

momoi, worriedly because you haven’t really moved for a few minutes: is it good????

you: ...no--

momoi, panicking: *thinking* nononono but but kagami said it was good did he lie i am going to kill him ohmygodohmygod

you: it’s the best chocolates i’ve ever eaten

[shazyloren]

Little Lyanna

Summary:  Jon is out of his mind with worry, trying to busy himself as his wife labours their baby into the world... They've been trying so long, and they had once thought it would not happen.

Notes: As you know, I am taking part in a challenge on tumblr by user 'JonerysFic' and 'MhysaOfDragons' in which for seven days from Valentines day I am uploading a new one shot. The prompts have been provided and the stories have all been written and I gotta say you're in for a lot of Jonerys content. So Day 7, the last day, 20th February, which is when I'm uploading this, the prompt I chose was 'Free Choice'. So I got thinking and decided to expand on my glorious reign series and give you the birth of their first child, Lyanna.

Link: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17864576

----

Jon was going crazy.

Waiting for the arrival of his and Dany’s child had left him drinking with Tyrion in the hands quarter as a promise to Dany that he’d stay away while she laboured their baby. All of the dogs in King’s Landing were howling, due to the storm that had captured the city and by extension scared the inhabitants into staying inside. Lighting and rain, flashing and fierce. There had been four storms since he and Dany assumed the throne five years ago, but this had by far been the worse. Ironic that their child would also be known as Stormborn like it’s mother, but that also left deep rooted fear within Jon himself.

He wondered if she would survive, after all both of their mother’s had perished when giving birth to them, although Sam was dealing with her, the only person he trusted. But there was still this nagging feeling of fear within him that meant he was on edge and pacing the hands chambers all the while it was going on. He could stand on the Balcony and see their chambers from it, but he wouldn’t know what was happening.

They’d lost a babe already, after the first time they’d made love on the boat from dragonstone to White Harbour, Dany’s bleeding had not arrived. They didn’t count their chickens before they hatched, both of them knowing what happened to her last babe, but when her belly had began to swell with life they were joyous. Jon requested they not tell anyone, as only Missandei, Sam and themselves knew at that moment. But about ten weeks after the conception, Dany bled hard and the babe was lost.

She’d cried for weeks in private with him, they’d shared his chambers and it had been heart-wrenching to see her suffer. She put on a smile for the lords of Winterfell, and when they’d caught her crying she’d always played it off as the lose of her Dragon, which in a sense was also her child. So when her belly had become swollen once again six months ago, they’d been very joyous yet extremely cautious. Jon had not let her do anything, she was to relax for the first few months, must to her annoyance.

And now, she was in labour, a month early.

To make matters worse, Lord Baratheon and Lady Stark (Jon’s sister) had sprung upon them a surprise visit, which meant they too were in the hands chambers, drinking with him as the entertainment Tyrion had quickly thrown together for the visiting family got cut short. Daenerys was in the middle of giving a speech when she’d gushed on the floor and began to feel light headed.

She was early, and this was all the more reason Jon was worried. The chances of both of them surviving was very small, but he’d hoped that she had, they both had. If she was to go… Jon couldn’t even bare to think about it, he loved her so hopelessly that the even consideration that Daenerys Targaryen, his wife, his queen, would never see him again, would never look at him with those eyes, was completely consuming him

“Stop pacing, you idiot” Arya grumbled, fiddling with a knife, twisting it between her fingers. The Valyrian blade that Bran had bestowed upon her all those years ago, before he’s met his end… Jon shook his head and did as he was told. He may be the king, but when Ayra said to do something, he listened without question.

“It’s natural to be fearful, Your Grace” Tyrion countered, pouring red wine into his goblet and almost downing it instantly. “But I can assure you she’s in very good hands”

Jon knew she was, Sam had delivered several babies now including that of his sister, Sansa’s two children with her husband up in the north. He may be Lord of Horn Hill, but he also was their maester, and Jon trusted him more than anyone else besides Daenerys.

“Perhaps we can do something to take your mind off of everything, Your Grace?” Gendry offered. Nothing would take Jon’s mind off of it, he knew as such, but he took the bate and sat down at the table with the other three. “Are there any pressing issues that need resolving in the city?”

“We’ve been dealing with a speight of theft in flea bottom” Jon shrugs, reminding himself that flea bottom needs to be renamed as it wasn’t the hive of poverty it had once been in the era of the Lannisters rule. Jon and Dany had more than enough comforts here in the Red Keep that he’d make monthly donations of food and clothes that were worn by servants down to them and handed them out personally.

“Okay, let’s focus on that then”

It worked for maybe twenty minutes, until Jon swore he heard screaming all the way across the Red Keep. He knows he didn’t, it was more than likely his mind playing tricks on him, but still, it was enough to stop him from wanting to commit to the City’s issues and think about her instead.

He didn’t pray to the old gods, after all he’s seen in the world he doubted any god’s existence anymore, but he did pray to Sam’s ability that he’d keep her alive, both of them. He should’ve ignored Dany, stayed with her until the end, but it had been hours and she’d begged him to go until it was done. He wouldn’t if it was a case of not wanting to seem weak, or not wanting to see the birth, or perhaps if she did pass, she didn’t want him to see it in front of his eyes.

Whatever her reasons, it was a decision that was driving him crazy and fearful and almost alone.

“Sansa has birthed two children, both of which were successfully delivered by Sam, stop having a crisis you’ll look like you’re supposed to be celebrating your fiftieth name day” Arya was growing impatient and Jon did not blame her in the slightest, but had they known about the baby they lost, then perhaps she’d know why he was frightened for his Queen.

Sansa knew now, shortly after the war and her engagement and subsequent wedding to Gawen of House Glover, she’d come to Jon about bleeding heavily and unsure of anyone to turn too. She’d suffered a miscarriage and it had affected her mentally. Jon had offered comfort and told her the story of her and Dany losing one and from that moment, Sansa had dealt with the issue better.

“I’m her husband, she’s my Queen, let me worry” Jon sighs, thinking back to the times in which his worries were the living dead killing all of men-kind.

So much had changed and so much was still to change now that he and Daenerys were to become parents. The capital had been so happy at the news of their King and Queen welcoming a child soon, and thankfully, the other lords in the kingdom had too. Jon had struggled with it on some occasions. A child was something Jon had always wanted but never envisioned he would have when he was serving on the wall, but something that had come true and very shortly, he’d have to be a father.

Would he be a good one?

“Your Grace” Jon hears behind him and so he turns to note several guardsmen and Sam, the Maester and man he trusted amongst everyone else. He was covered in blood, as was to be expected after delivering a baby, but his appearance still filled him with dread.

“Is everything alright?” Tyrion is the first one to speak.

“Mother and babe are both alright” Sam nods and Jon almost wants to fall to his knees. The relief that over spills in his body is almost too much to handle. He doesn’t know whether to sit down, to run to Dany’s side, to kiss Sam even. “The Queen has lost a lot of blood however, so she needs to rest up for a few weeks, eat plenty and drink lots of water to get her up and running again” Sam takes a small pause. “It’s a girl”

Arya squeals piercingly into the air and yet Jon isn’t affected by it, he’s just shocked, his entire system falling apart as he imagines a small girl in his arms. A girl, a little daughter to call my own, our beautiful miracle, our beloved angel . Jon needs to see them both, he need to hold her in her arms and look at the beautiful life he and Dany created together.

“Can I seem them?” Jon ask, knowing that even if Sam said know he’d still go anyways. Sam just nods and that’s all Jon needs to start a quick pace towards his own bedchambers.

The halls are quiet when he leaves Tyrion’s chambers, only guardsmen with smiles on their faces as Jon feels glee and anticipation build in his chest. He follows the way to his chambers that he was so familiar with at this point, seeing servants cleaning and clearing stuff away, seeing cats up on the balcony, seeing the steps to their space. She was there, his little princess was waiting for him, and his queen too.

When he reached the door to his chambers, he was greeted by Missandei who was holding sheets covered in blood, she was smiling brightly when her eyes connected with Dany’s. Clearly happy both the Queen and the girl were okay. She gleefully grins before heading off in the direction Jon came from, leaving him to open the door.

The sound he was greeted with was like music to his eyes, a soft gurgling and a sweet song that melted away every fear in his body. He did not know the song, he thinks perhaps she made it up, but her voice is tunely and melodic and the happiness that was radiating from it was enough to send Jon wild. He sees them then, Dany, sat up in the bed with a small clothed babe in her arms. Jon, in an instant, is at her side.

“Stars above” Jon whispers as Dany kisses him on the cheek. “She’s absolutely perfect”

As he looked at her, he notices she has been born with a thick head full of hair, black hair like his own and a little bit all over the place. Her eyes however, magnificently violet and delightfully wild. Jon knows the babe can’t see them both yet, but she was content just being in her mother’s arm.

“I’m glad you’re here” Dany sighed, Jon knew she was tired. “She needs to hear her Father speak to her”

She passed him over and for what felt like hours, Jon just held her in his arms and looked at her. She was the most perfect creation that has ever been because of him. He loved her with every drop of blood in his veins, every breath in his lungs and ever word in his mouth. He whispered to her, promised her that he would protect her until his last breath, love her until he could not any longer and he even shed tears. He was sensitive in the moment but he did not care.

She was a dream.

“I want to call her Lyanna” He says out of nowhere, not having heard anything Dany had said, just cut off from it all as he stared at the perfect babe in his arms. “I think my mother deserves that” He stated. After everything his own mother went through, everything she and his real father gave up for him, and after wanting to know about her and finally finding out the truth, Jon felt sure that was the little babe in his arms name. “If that’s okay with you”

“Little Lyanna Targaryen” She sighs, sleep wanting to take his wife over. She was now laying down, hoping to get a moment of sleep. Jon did not mind, it meant he got to hold his babe for longer. Little Lyanna Targaryen, it was. “I like it, then if we have another one, we’ll call him Robb”

If we have another one, we’ll call him Robb.

Jon liked the idea, but they had everything they needed for now. Him, his queen and their beautiful Princess Lyanna. A life Jon never envisioned, but one he was grateful of nonetheless.

[abnormalpsychology]

The Bully (part one)

[HAPPY VALENTINES DAY EVERYONE! Ya boi is excited bc I’m uploading my first-ever fanfic!! @joshua-rush-fanpage I hope you like it! This is part of the Valentines Day Friendom Gift Exchange. I wrote quite a lot more than I expected to, so the tag #myfanfic on here will be where you can find the rest uploaded later today. Sorry about the spacing errors— I originally wrote this in a google doc and Tumblr was being weird when I tried to fix them. I really really hope you like it! The first part is utter shit as a warning but it gets better!!! Hopefully I write more stuff soon, but here’s a little GHC to warm your hearts for now. I can’t believe I’m leaving a long, shitty, Wattpad-ass Author’s Note for the whole world to see but here we fuckin’ are. I also did not think I was the Soulmate AU type, but ALSO here we fuckin’ are. Meme mutuals please don’t think I’m lame I PROMISE IM COOL UwU. Have a lovely day even if you don’t read anything besides my ramblings. Thanks for making a community where I feel brave enough to finally post some writing I’ve worked hard on. I’m very grateful. <3 @swingsetboys Thanks so much for arranging this.]

Kids normally started thinking about their soulmates and deciphering their marks once they got their first crush, but Cyrus Goodman was different. He’d been worried about love all of his life, and the more he thought, the less sense it made. Trusting fate was generally put forward as the best way to deal with soulmate-related issues, at least before you met them, but Cyrus was finding that trusting fate was remarkably more difficult than all of the online articles and books in his parents’ offices made it sound. He wondered sometimes if he maybe was the universe’s first-ever mistake, a legendarily big screw-up, and this was a concern that was difficult to express without simultaneously concerning everyone else around him.

Cyrus’ mark was in what he had decided was the worst possible place it could be— his back. Two solid pitch-black handprints were indented into his skin so he had to twist around in the mirror to even glimpse the peculiar birthmark, like a two-year-old’s art project smushed across his skin or a crude frat party drawing etched on during a hangover was supposed represent his hope for the future and the person he was supposed to love more than anything. He’d always felt weird about it. The question that was tied most to it, the great white whale, the million-dollar-Jeopardy one, was what the situation could possibly be that would cause the mark to light up, to fill with color, when it made contact with his future spouse’s skin.

They’re gonna... push me? It was still, after years of contemplation and stomachaches, the best theory he had. The first way the person he was supposed to find eternal happiness with was by them trying to hurt him. That sure didn’t sound like love to him.

How would he make them angry? What would he do wrong?

The thought was his shadow, and the more he thought about it, the more confused he was. He didn’t want to make them angry, though! He wanted the person he was destined to spend the rest of his days with to like him right off the bat. He wanted the happy ending that everyone got.

“It’s fate,” Buffy had said and shrugged at their final summer sleepover before seventh grade began. “I mean, you can’t do anything to change it, Cy. I’m pretty sure you can’t fool the system by covering it with a tattoo. Since you always try to be as nice as possible anyway, I think you’re doing all you can.”

“Yeah.” He squinted. Maybe I’m just not good enough at being nice.

Buffy rolled her eyes, seeing through his words. “Cyrus. You really need to stop forgetting how cool you are. It’s annoying.”

“Thanks, Buffy, I just hope my soulmate understands my annoying… ness.”

“That was a joke—“

He gasped, shooting up with wide eyes. “What if I annoy them too much and that’s why they push me? What if I’m the one who ruins it?”

“Cyrus, I’m fairly certain that you would never be destined to spend your life with a total jerk. You may be weird, but that’s why soulmates love us, dummy. That’s why we love you.”

The two exchanged a smile, and Buffy reached around to squeeze his hand with her comforting smile.

“You’ll know when you see them anyway, because that’s like the whole thing. So… I don’t know. Maybe the push will be an accident or something. If it helps, I’ll personally remove the toenails if anyone who messes with you.”

“Well, I think,” Andi interjected like the voice of God from above, staring at the pair from her position of power on Cyrus’ couch. “You should stop worrying about something completely inevitable. It’s coming, like it or not.”

The boy let out a yelp and rubbed furiously at the goosebumps blooming on his skinny arms. “You didn’t have to phrase it like that, Andi!”

“Seriously,” Buffy agreed, eyes wide and unfocused. “Yikes.”

“It shouldn’t be scary. You two should really trust yourselves more. Future us will all make good decisions, I’m sure of it. Mostly. Probably.”

She leaned over to look down at her two best friends, reduced to frightened messes at the thought of someone who loved them, and deeply did not understand.

“I trust future Andi, at least. You two are weird.”

She stuck a bookmark made of old newspapers into the John Green book she was skimming, one of Bex’s favorites. She’d explained earlier about how since her older sister would be coming to visit her for the first time in practically forever, she had better know something about what she liked. Although from her various annoyed growls that echoed from above every once in a while, her friends could tell Andi’s tastes maybe differed from the latter’s.

“Real life isn’t that dramatic! Certainly isn’t as dramatic as this Augustus”—she gesticulated to the paperback copy—“thinks it is! What’s even going on in this book?”

She wrinkled her nose in disgust, setting the book down by the lamp.

“Yeah, whatever.” Buffy turned to look doubtfully over her left shoulder at her other best friend, from the spot on the calming maroon carpet where Cyrus was French-braiding her curls. “If you think all this soulmate crap will be totally drama-free, all relaxation and games, Andi, you’re kidding yourself. And it’s middle school.”

“You might want to rethink your position here,” agreed Cyrus, twirling a lock dastardly between his fingers.

A beeping sound came from the kitchen as butter filled the warm air, clashing with the rosy scent of the aromatherapy stuff Celia insisted on spraying everywhere before anyone else entered the house, even though it was just Buffy and Cyrus. They’re very well-behaved, Andi would always say, even though one was now swatting like a kitten at the other. True friendship.

“Stop that! Grow your own facial hair so you can stop using mine!”

“Low blow,” Andi commented.

“Never!” He fell backwards onto the carpet with a grunt as she attacked him with her fringe scarf, smacking her opponent with swift malice. Andi got up to go get their popcorn from the microwave, hopping easily over the destructive swarm of thrashing limbs on her floor.

The two broke apart, close to the door now. Like wrestlers, the kids sprinted to either corner of the room.

“Every time! This is why I don’t let you braid my hair, Cyrus!”

“You underestimate me! Now I have a secret weapon!”

A shadow rushed forward and cackled menacingly, a beautifully stitched pillow in shades of pink and red held aloft to decimate his friend.

“No! Bad Cyrus!” Andi scolded from the kitchen. “I made that for Bex!”

“This isn’t a Western!” Buffy yelled, hands up in surrender. “You aren’t going to tie Andi to the train tracks, no more!”

Cyrus pouted mutely, savoring the power, then conceded mercifully. “Ohhh-kay.”

“Maybe that’s why your soulmate will push you,” Buffy laughed. “You attack them, viciously, in a war of pillows.”

His face fell again, the weight of worry and insecurities returning instantly.

“Dammit.” Buffy sighed. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. Maybe I will... I’d demolish them, anyway.”

The three collapsed onto the couch together once Andi returned, mutely chewing their popcorn, their feathery Cold War forgotten. They could still hear cicadas outside. It didn’t quite feel like school yet, and something about that made the night seem more important, more meaningful, and made them all the more grateful for the other people who they felt like they could tell anything.

“Soulmates are weird to think about, though,” Andi added. “I mean, it’s not something you can teach in school or anything. How one person is made for another. I think it’s pretty crazy. Although I bet Augustus and Hazel would disagree.”

“Yeah, love’s simple until you think about— like— what if they die before you meet them?” Cyrus said, the years’ worth of anxiety seeping into his words. “Assuming it isn’t a fate thing. What if you’re the first one to prove it wrong? Or… you don’t know if you like that type of person?”

“Well,” Buffy chimed in, shrugging. “I mean, people always do, so…”

The trio fell quiet.

“Like soulmates or not, we can agree the marks are freaky as hell?”

“Absolutely.”

“At least you don’t have your mark in as weird a place as me.”

“Buffs, yours is on your hand. That’s not that weird.” Cyrus reached over her back to lightly touch the white splash of color across her right palm, and she jerked it away fast as if she was scared of it going off like a bomb. “High-fives happen all the time.”

“I know, but why would future me let anyone touch my hand? That’s not allowed!” She shivered dramatically. “Ugh. Can you imagine me all… stupid and love-struck? That would be remarkably awful.”

“Middle school,” Cyrus said, nodding sagely. “It changes all who experience it.”

“Well,” Andi whispered, suddenly solemn. “I guess we’ll find out if it changes us too.”

“Guess we gotta trust that the Future Good Hair Trio will make good choices. Soulmates or otherwise.”

The three looked around.

“At least we’ll have each other. No matter who comes, we’ll at least have each other.”

[orthographewrites]

🚫 : spend valentine’s day with my muse platonically (Robin & Sofia)

VALENTINE’S DAY PROMPTS | NOT ACCEPTING: 

One would say the day of love was one to make his heart flutter in ways he never thought possible. The notion of surprising a loved one, of showering them with gifts and promises to last another year riding on feelings and devotion to one another. Or, for those that didn’t care about such nonsense, the day was one devoted to friends and family. Robin and his sister Sofia came on the opposite end of both directions, finding themselves stuck in pointless discussions about the importance of either on the said day – Robin often busy with his lips on his current boyfriend and Sofia at work, scoffing at the sudden burst of pink and red around the office. 

This year, however, Robin had run short on his luck with no company of his to keep him busy and Sofia had happened to claim the day off. A mismatch at best, but it hadn’t stopped them from poking each other online whenever their timezones collided – Robin being the first to whine that the country he so happened to visit held no roots within Valentine’s day, lackluster and filled with longing of the known and usual. 

R: how can you not have a date devoted to love and relationships??? its madness! i mean at least some countries do a friendship day today but this one? nope! i should have timed it better :/ 

S: A friendship day would be cool, but I’d rather still not have it shoved down my throat. Is it odd being single for once? I would have expected else from you.

R: you dont have to participate if you dont want to sofia no ones forcing you. and ugh dont remind me :( i thought about going out or something but i kind of have to wrap up work for once 

Robin’s eyes flew down towards the word icon that had sat there, haunting and taunting him for a good hour now. On any given day, his fingers had known no stop until his article was well wrapped up and done with, but the temptation of finding some solid company in its place rested at the tip of his tongue. 

S: OoooOOOooohh no I can only imagine how hard it must be, Indy! And no, maybe they aren’t but that won’t stop it from being a nuance every damn year. I think your readers would understand if you took a break today and I’m also pretty sure you wouldn’t even have to explain why. 

R: ://// sometimes i really hate you…. can u just be nice today?? just bc u dont know love like the rest of us!! but uh yeah maybe not i still hate being late tho thats only for emergencies 

S: I’m always nice <3 Haha! And since when didn’t you count love as an emergency? I swear, if you don’t date at least two people a year you’ll get a heart attack. 

Sofia’s jab caused him to sit up straight, his eyes narrow and lips thin like a pencil stroke as he worked up an answer. Surely he had a tendency to jump into relationships a lot, but never had he dated two people within the same year -- he had some standards.

R: THATS NOT TRUE?!? ppl are just awful when it comes to relationships :( that has nothing to do with me okay ur just making me depressed and thats like the opposite of what today is for?? how about you go find someone to date maybe youd be less bitter that way 

S: Cute. I doubt me ‘being in love’ would change my stance on anything, but good try. I’m only messing with you ;) You’ll find the one someday, you know… the one with enough patience and adulthood for the both of you. 

R: im blocking u good bye 

S: <333 Have fun on your night out! Tell me if you find your Prince Charming :) 

With that, their conversation ended and Robin closed down the laptop lid with dedicated movements. Sofia may perhaps sit on her own skewed ideas of romantic love, but that didn’t stop him from wanting to share his own with someone else this evening. She was right, his readers wouldn’t care if he took a day off -- as they often encouraged him to sit back sometimes -- and today was merely an opportunity to spread some dashing compliments around town. No time to mope and hide, he thought to himself, already settling in on a promise to not have to spend the next Valentine’s day alone. Or with Sofia. 

@abedroomdwellers1x1  

[dwightkschrute]

In 2014 and 2015 I did a my year in review kind of thing where I, of course, reviewed it and accompanied it with a picture from that month. I somehow forgot to post 2016 (until now) and forgot to do it at all for 2017 but unfortunately, I am back with a really disappointing year. I was debating not putting myself through the legit pain of “reviewing” this year but I think of how I love going through my 2009-2010 posts and seeing how much I’ve grown so this is for you, successful and cooler future me.

2016 and 2017 were amazing but 2018 was my most promising year. My boyfriend and I were going to move in, I was going to start my dream job; everything was perfect. It definitely started out as one of the best years of my life! Then exactly halfway through the year everything changed and I was left having to pick up the pieces and completely restart, making it one of the worst years of my life.

I started January in Mexico, which was the best, but my family and I got home early in the month. I had quit my job the month before so I dedicated the entirety of this month to job hunting. Our friend (my bf’s bff who became mine and my brother’s bff early on)’s dad got a boat so it was like we got a boat too because despite the cold, we lived on it. (My boyfriend couldn’t go on the trip with us, which he was super bummed about (and that we had to spend like 10 days apart which was killer then), so he was the one to pick us up at the airport and he greeted me with a bouquet of flowers. Out of the many gifts/gestures he gave me, that was one of my favorites.)

February I started my amazing new job so life was back to 40 hour work weeks and not having much time for much else. I was always attached to the hip to my bf so almost every day after work entailed going out with him or having dinner with my family or his. That was my month. My favorite part of every February is Valentine’s Day and this one was as amazing as the rest. I don’t even have enough space (of the allotted space I give myself for each entry at least!) to describe that day. (My bf at our Valentine’s Day dinner. We finished our long day at this restaurant (so, so cool, once popular with Old Hollywood stars) on Hollywood Blvd and it was dreamy and romantic and amazing.) Oh man, I don’t have a lot of interesting things to say about March. Oh, my parents got Influenza (A/B/idk tbh), so it was two weeks of my brother, bf, and I taking care of them. My dad has a serious chronic disease so it was especially dangerous for him so it was a stressful time. Once we weren’t in hazmat suits anymore (no but really, we were gloved and double masked around them and kept them quarantined), I’d be at work or with my bf. I also started to get close with a co-worker, who I quickly became close friends with! (My bf’s two huskies. I’ve just loved that picture since I took it! I’ve never been loved by a dog more than the one in the back of this pic. Not even by my own! He has a special place in my heart.)

April was barbecues at my house or my bf’s, trying every brewery and bar around, hikes, bike rides, beach visits, baseball games, boat rides, late night cooking and baking. It was lots and lots of love and happiness and I would give absolutely anything to go back to those days. (My brother and bf grilling on Easter. This was a familiar scene, I have so many pictures of this exact scenario, yet looking at it just now made me so emotional! Stop! They’re just grilling!) May was so exciting! Very first day I got a new car! I was so happy! It was long overdue because my finicky, expensive Volkswagen had to go and I’d fallen in love with the new Honda Civic (I’ll admit I have basic taste but I don’t care!) so I finally bit the bullet and did it. This month my bf and I, after a long time of “oh wouldn’t it be nice!”, bit the bullet as well and decided to finally get serious about finding a place together. So the apartment search started, but we soon realized our home, Orange County, was super expensive. My bf, in that “ha ha jk but I’m down if you are” way, suggested we pick up and move to Oregon and I immediately agreed. It just felt right and despite us being the most careful and non-spontaneous people ever, we decided to do it! So we began to research, look for apartments but most importantly, jobs. (My car the day I took it home!)

Uhhhhhh, well, June hurts to think about! We went to visit Portland, where we decided we’d want to live because that’s where the jobs were, on a quick trip since it was strictly “business.” Portland was everything I imagined and more. We loved it and I think we loved playing house in our airbnb more than anything about the city. Back in LAX we came to the easy conclusion that though we lived Portland, that’d require a lot and for our first time moving out we’d like to stay close to home and above anything else, we just wanted to live together as soon as possible. We immediately started to look for places in LA, we spent the month apartment hunting, and towards the end of it, decided on one we really liked, one he begged me to please say yes to so we can move in already. I was so, so, so happy this month but what made me happier was seeing my bf, I swear, even happier than me. I seriously felt unstoppable and was beyond excited for our future. (I had a lot of Portland pictures to choose from but my bf and I liked this one because it reminded us of Always Sunny for some reason.)

In July, everything changed. To start, I left my job. I thought, new chapter in my life, new job coming, I’ll live really far, I should leave now. So I did. My last day was an emotional day because I loved my job so much and every single person I worked with. That very same day, my bf and I broke up. For unrelated reasons to my last day, to our moving in, to our relationship, etc. We had an amazing, amazing relationship but he has a lot of demons and issues/insecurities he has to deal with and conquer, and though I was aware and was there for him and would continue to be by his side no matter what, he decided that this was a battle he had to handle by himself and I figure before he got into a more committed situation. It didn’t have to happen, though. I hadn’t talked about the specifics of the breakup on my blog so  sorry for changing the mood of the post, but yeah, July happened and it felt like my world stopped. Really regret quitting my job now, huh? I was hit by two huge losses and changes right at the same time.  (I took this on my friend’s boat 20 tequila shots in, drunk and sad as fuck. Not to get fake deep but how sad. Literally on a boat, beautiful sunset, would rather die.)

August was a blur and I’m still not convinced I didn’t just dream it. God, alright, here we go, the rest of the year is a mess so get ready. I fell into a deep depression fast. It also didn’t help that my dad had to start getting radiation/infusions for his illness shortly after the breakup. I couldn’t believe how much my life had changed. I started dating someone else and then I dated another guy shortly after. I wanted to replace and/or forget and I really thought that’d be the solution. I was miserable when I was with them. I took absolutely any opportunity to get really drunk or high, and the opportunity came often so I spent most of my days desperately trying to not feel anything. The only time I’d feel okay was when I was extremely high and I couldn’t even think. Since I had a lot of savings for my out of state move, I had a lot of money to blow, which I did. I realized I even liked the feeling of the temporary “high” of spending a lot and receiving the stuff. I’d hang out with any friend who offered (out of boredom? loneliness?) and even ended up on a mess of a Vegas trip. Worst month ever. Maybe. (Here’s a positive! I like that bathing suit and my tiddie looks so round!)

When September came I realized two months had passed and all I had done was be a huge depressed mess. I no joke forgot about work. I just straight up forgot. I started to look for a new job, which hurt me so bad because I had to face the fact that it wouldn’t be my Cool LA Dream Job anymore. I stopped dating. Most importantly, I completely stopped drinking and smoking because it’d almost always make me sadder but also it scared me that I had no self control nor did I care. I saw a whole lot of my close friends and they, along with my immediate family, kept me afloat this month because time felt like it was going so fast. I couldn’t believe that at a blink of an eye it was night again and then a new day. Time had no mercy for me, please let me hold on. (Me at a baseball game. Tbh I’m looking at this thinking, did this really happen?)

October started out nice because my best friend of years, who I unfortunately had a falling out with three years ago, reached out to me. I’ll always give her all of the credit for doing that. I can’t begin to explain what this meant to me. It was a nice, bright shine of light that managed to shine through the dark clouds. Having my best friend is exactly what I needed. I’m a big believer in the universe acting in mysterious ways and though I had grown disappointed in its little surprise for me lately, this was the kind I always appreciate. I spent a good part of that month with her, catching up and doing things just like we did back then. It was like nothing had changed. That’s all I remember about this month, and a super fun Halloween! That day was probably one of the best days in months. (My best friend Rylee and me the first time seeing each other in 3 years. We’ve had our blogs for 8-9 years so please follow her for quality content)

November was rough. I was frustrated because surely things should had been better by then. I was still feeling so low, I was going to job interviews to no avail, I “relapsed” and had a high/drunk off my ass on a boat messy moment.. To make matters worse, I accidentally drove up on a cement divider in a parking lot and my airbags deploy, which is so expensive to fix, so my car was out of commission for a month. Then I got so sick and I rarely ever get a small cold. I seriously felt like I was cursed, even the smallest thing felt like an insult towards me. The one good thing is that since July I had been forcing myself to go to the gym five times a week. My mom said exercising was the only thing that’d help her feel that sweet release of seretonin, endorphins, dopamine, and all that good stuff when she was depressed so, though I enjoyed going to the gym before, I did it just for that reason alone. It worked and as another result I got like pretty fucking fit. Revenge body, you’re one of the few good things in my life right now. (I literally had no idea what to choose so I said fine, here’s a pic of the scene of the crime. Whatever.)

In December I turned 26. Which I hate, naturally. I went to a million more job interviews. I’m seriously so embarrassed to admit that but whatever, it’s the truth. (I have a degree, experience, and an awesome cover letter..I’ll keep blaming the curse!) What kept me sane was that we had different family members visiting from the very beginning of the month. Playing with an energetic, adorable baby kept me distracted and happy. Having so much company around also distracted me (slightly, but it helped!) from the fact that the holidays and my birthday would be quite different now. I’m one of those annoying Christmas lovers, usually at least. This year everything just happened and I didn’t care. But I survived December! (I don’t care. This is the appropriate representation of 2018 and how I feel at the end of it.)

Jesus if you’ve read all of this.. I’m sorry you had to read about the mess of my year but really more like the mess that is ME. Yknow those like “people my age I went to HS with vs me” memes? I seriously went from being that bitch with a good paying job, brand new car, a serious, great relationship with a promising future together (Like. We would color coordinate outfits! LMAO. We would have dinners with both of our families together. We were obsessed with each other. You’d roll your eyes if you saw any of this. I can’t get over how perfect we were, it’s hilarious what happened to us.) and then at the blink of an eye I went to not having absolutely any of that, casually dating (something I’d NEVER done) anyone who resembled my ex and sadly and drunkenly puking off the side of a pier. Who is she? I don’t know, I got whiplash. (Queen of parentheses and side notes, I know. But another thing about me is... I’ve never been affected by people leaving my life. I’m used to it. I’ve never been anywhere as affected as I was when my ex and I broke up. This isn’t normal for me, my ENTJ/Capricorn ass doesn’t know what this feeling is.)

Please curse that has been put on me, release me. Whoever is attacking my voodoo doll, calm down! Please! I’ve gone through enough sadness and loss. If 2019 is even slightly as bad, I’m going to be like that pigeon I reblogged the other day that’s like “fuck this I’m just going to sit here.” I can’t even make a cute but corny, hopeful “hope 2019 is great!” comment. I’m literally begging you...pleading you... I don’t believe in karma but after all of this shit, I better have something much better in stock for me. “Good things are coming!” I fucking hope so. Like, I’ll be even more annoying right now and say that it’s not fair that I didn’t get to have the future I was about to have. I don’t care about any cliche you may have for me. One door closes, everything happens for a reason, God has a plan, etc. No. Why did all of this have to happen? What can be better than the future I was going to have? I felt so unlucky. It all feels like a nightmare and I’m just waiting to feel whole again. Oh shit I got really intense. I know I’ll get over it and life will be good again eventually but for now, I am still so mad. I would have never in a million years guessed this is how my 2018 would go. 

So fine, I’ve accepted things now, so now I’m impatient and say please prove me wrong, 2019. I’m THREATENING you to be amazing!

[springtwirling]

theres a Kaito kuroba in kairos timeline right? what's he like?

"he's..."

Claws twitch slightly; how do you explain years upon years of getting to know someone who knows you better than you know yourself? How do you explain how you've grown so used to watching one person grow older that you don't know what to expect when he inevitably gets too old to stay around, because you know that humans aren't meant to stay around forever? How do you explain the fact that even your wife knows that you've been in love with this one man since you were kids, but neither of you have to mention it, because both of you already know, and yet you do nothing about it? How do you explain feeling so comfortable around a person that work falls away and exhaustion settles in and you can just fall asleep against his shoulder as he and Aoko and occasionally one of the detectives talk aimlessly about what's going on in their lives lately?

How do you explain something so complicated?

How do you explain something so simple?

"...safety. he's my best friend, i've known 'im since i was very young, i don't know what i'd do wit'out 'im."

He remembers days when he was younger, feeling that fluttering in his chest whenever he was close to the magician, and having to pull his hand back whenever he realized he was reaching out for his hand, and hearing the chiming laughter of his Keepers getting too much amusement out of his butterfly stomach suffering. He remembers the days where he would have to evade the law, constantly on his own out on the streets for a while as he saved up money, until Kaito had figured out that he was indeed homeless, and let him stay with him for a little while as he attended school. He remembers how he had learned quite a few things about Kaito over the course of weeks, into months, into years.

His best friend.

A part of him wonders what it would have been like. If he hadn't stopped himself that day, Valentine's Day, from telling his best friend how he felt. Would anything had changed?

"i love him." A statement that can mean so many things. Like a brother? Like a friend? Like a lover? In any case, he's not breaking a promise made to his Brother. He does love Kaito, his best friend.

( love, such a dangerous thing. love, such a powerful thing. )

"i love 'is blue eyes. i love 'is brown 'air. i love 'is magic shows. i love th' way 'e's always exactly where 'e's needed right 'n time. i love th' way 'e smiles, like there's somet'in' 'e knows tha' ya don'. 'n i love 'is real smile, like a warm embrace fr'm an old frien' welcomin' ya 'ome. i love the way 'is name tastes... i love him."

He will always love Kaito. Even when Kaito loves someone else. Even when Kairos is in love with another.

[cheollies]

Rent A Boyfriend!Joshua

the gentleman types. the boy you’d bring to your family gatherings to show off just how sweet he is to you. extra services include him performing a little acoustic guitar or even playing the cute clueless American foreigner.

this wasn’t his ideal job but what can he do,he was a broke college student and decided why not

sure, it wasn’t the ideal job but heck, he’s

come to enjoy free food, free gaming, and making money

But most of all, he enjoyed his new coworkers and friends.

Joshua has become to be known as the ‘sweetheart’ of the company

he helps clean up, helps organize clothing, buys round of coffees and take out on busy holidays, bought everyone amazing and personal Christmas gifts

everyone in the building just adores this man

he’s really just the sweetest thing ever

his whole profile and persona doesn’t stray from his own personality which is probably why he’s one of the most popular and busiest of all the boys

his schedule is often packed from breakfast dates to brunch outings to family dinners and sometimes to some late-night clubbing

It’s safe to say that he makes bank

sometimes it gets to the point where people must actually be put on a waiting list

valentine’s week is a struggle for the company because suddenly everyone wants a piece of Joshua

‘wow look at you mister popular. Stealing all our clients’ hisses Jiangshan who’s been off work for two days now because he hasn’t gotten request in a while

‘I’m positive you’ll get clients soon, keep

your head up.’

‘STOP BEING SO POSITIVE. IT’S HARD TO BE MEAN TO YOU WHEN YOU’RE NICE’

Joshua prefers simple dates, like maybe a park date or something cute like window shopping

but he never gets those dates, nah he’s so high profile that he gets the fancier jobs

ones where people are in suits and ties, and there’s small talk, and champagne

he really thinks these jobs would be better for Jeonghan, but he doesn’t really like turning clients down, so he sticks through it

he also travels a lot

because he gets clients from the high end of the spectrum, sometimes his dates insist on traveling to foreign countries

brings back souvenirs for the guys

they all get so damn excited like

Hansol: I GOT A SNOWGLOBE FROM NORWAY

Soonyoung: LOOK AT THIS KEYCHAIN

Jihoon: wow I got a postcard

They always wait for Joshua with big eyes when he comes back from trips (who’s the real dad of this group)

Met you on the job

you were actually one of his clients

you see, you actually found out about this from your one self proclaimed best guy friend Seungkwan

and he’s always like ‘if you ever just want a fake date, just call this number and request for me.’

you kind of laugh because when would you ever need a fake date

cue to weeks later when you’re invited to a huge family gathering and lo and behold, remember that ass of a boyfriend you had months ago, looks like he’s snagged a new partner that just happens to be your cousins

what an ass indeed

you knew it would be utterly embarrassing for you to see him again without some person attached to your hip

you spent hours literally stressing over the entire thing until you rammed into your desk corner by accident and in the midst of cursing and screaming in pain, you spot Seungkwan’s work card on the ground

‘um, hi, I’m calling to request Boo Seungkwan for a date next Saturday afternoon’

It was so painfully awkward requesting your own friend for a fake date, but you really had no other choice

cue a week later, on the day of the family event, you get a very hasty call from Seungkwan apologizing about how his work decided to switch around the schedules

‘WHAT DO YOU MEAN I’M GETTING SOMEONE ELSE. BOO SEUNGKWAN’

‘IM SORRY IM SORRY IM SORRY. I’M NOT IN CHARGE OF SCHEDULING I PROMISE I’LL MAKE IT UP TO YOU’

‘I CAN’T JUST GO ON A DATE WITH A RANDOM GUY. SEUNGKWAN!’

‘I have to go now, I have work but trust me, you’ll love Joshua. He’s a professional’

‘SEUNGKWAN’

At about half passed noon is when your door bell rings. You’re adjusting your earring when you open the door to greet this mystery man

and when you open the door, your hand lets go of the earring because damn this boy was beautiful

‘you dropped your earring’

Even his voice sounded like heaven is what you think before you sheepishly pick up the earring

Joshua was so pretty, you couldn’t stop staring. Even in the cab you kept taking glances at him.

Even though the whole event was casual, he dressed in a blue and white stripped button up tucked into black jeans with a nice jacket on his shoulders, and damn he still looked so good

‘Seungkwan says you and him are friends’ Joshua initiates conversation

In the thirty-minute ride, it began with small talk, to stories of seungkwan, to work, then school, and suddenly laughter and smiles began to build between you two

‘well, time to enter the hellhole’ you say with your arm linked around Joshua’s

But while you were talking you know what he was doing, he was staring at you, at your lips moving, the cute tip of your nose, the light blush on your cheeks, he was marveled by your soft touch, your voice

Everyone, and I mean everyone is so captivated by Joshua the moment he steps into the large home.

All the aunts, grandmas, and mothers become attracted to the sweet boy that they all end up telling you what a catch of a guy he is

Everyone is literally swooning seeing Joshua fix your hair, or seeing him feed you some fruits he had gotten, and it really makes people’s hearts melt when they see Joshua taking his jacket off to drape over the front of your dress when you sit down

The best part of it all, seeing your ex get infuriated when Joshua comes over and pecks your cheeks, his hand on your shoulder with a big smile on his face while he holds out his other hand at your ex ‘hi, I’m Joshua.’

‘did you see his face. He looked like he was going to kill you’ you were laughing into the night air

Joshua couldn’t help but laugh along with your contagious laughter

You and Joshua ended up walking around before ending the night

‘also, I think your aunt might have hit on me in front of her husband’

You broke out into more laughter, your palm pressed against your mouth, your other hand clenched onto the fabric of Joshua’s shirt

‘cute’ that’s what Joshua thinks when he’s with you

‘did you just call me cute’

‘DID I SAY THAT OUT LOUD’

you begin to laugh even more than ever, and Joshua can’t help but laugh with you once again because now he’s so embarrassed

after a while, your shoulders are bumping against Joshua’s in the night air, a shy smile on your lips before you whisper, ‘I think you’re cute too’

boom, now you and Joshua are a thing and cue Seungkwan saying it was his plan all along because he wants to be called a matchmaker

Joshua’s the ‘sweetheart’ of the company, well now you two are the ‘sweetheart’ couple because when you meet Joshua at his work, you always bring snacks or freshly baked cookies for everyone working and everyone’s just like

‘Joshua’s literally dating an angel’

Also, it was like three months into the relationship that you discovered Joshua was a giant weeb and he got all embarrassed and blushy like ‘nah no that’s not mine’ but then you come out as a giant weeb and now you two have weeb nights together

When he goes on trips, he tries to take you on with so you two can spend some couple time together

It took him two months to move passed the hand holding and onto the kiss because he’s so shy about it and didn’t want to do it without your permission

so, when he was going to kiss you he asked if he could kiss you and you didn’t say anything because you close the distance for him

you’re so sweet like Joshua that the guys don’t have the heart to tease you since you’re so nice

also, you’re parents and extended family, still believe the fake meeting story you guys told at the party so you two basically must keep up the lie because it’ll be really awkward now

‘it isn’t fair that your birthday is five days after Christmas’

Joshua chuckles into your neck while you two are lying in bed, ‘I can’t change my birthday’

‘what do you want for your birthday’

‘anything from you is fine’

You pout ‘you said that about your Christmas gift!’

So, you spent weeks planning the surprise, it was going to be a huge party

Okay it wasn’t your planning, it was more of the boys wanting a really big party that combined Christmas, Joshua’s birthday, and a new year’s theme

And the result, the entire company building of floor one was covered in balloons, someone had gotten a live DJ, there was a large banner with Joshua’s face on it, it really was over the top

‘where are we going’ Joshua holds onto your hands as you led the blindfolded man into the building

‘alright, you can take it off now’

‘SURPRISE’ screams friends, family, and coworkers

A cake is brought out in the process of Joshua trying to comprehend everything, especially the large banner with his picture on it

His face is lit up the entire time he listens to the whole building sing Happy birthday

And he squeezes your hand when he blows out his candles, he looks at you with such fondness that you know just means that he’s so thankful for everything

Then suddenly everyone begins to cheer, ‘kiss, kiss, kiss’

Joshua’s blushing so much when you lean up into him, pressing your soft lips onto his in front of everyone

Everyone cheers, the DJ starts up and the partying begins

But Joshua stays connect to you, nose touching as he whispers, ‘I love you so much’ against your lips.

[raefill]

I would legit love to hear you answers to every single question. I don't know if you feel like actually doing them all, but if you did... I'm JUST SAYING I'D READ THE ANSWERS, ok.

1: Is there a boy/girl in your life?Yeaaaah but my romantic prospects are pretty bleak tbh, I graduate and move away in a few months

2: Think of the last person who hurt you; do you forgive them?No, not really. But I’m not mad about it anymore.

3: What do you think of when you hear the word “meow?”CUTE BABY CLOSE BY !!!!!!!!!

4: What’s something you really want right now?to cry, i’m having the big sads

5: Are you afraid of falling in love?always

6: Do you like the beach?i love the beach!!!!!!!!! i grew up in a seaside town, the beach feels like the best parts of home

7: Have you ever slept on a couch with someone else?yes ?? it was cramped and uncomfortable 

8: What’s the background on your cell?the photo of me, san, kahl, chez, frau, bagel and spags in the louvre

9: Name the last four beds you were sat on?mine(right now), Thea’s, Lizzie’s, .. Keir’s?

10: Do you like your phone?yeah but i’d like it more if the screen wasn’t so cracked

11: Honestly, are things going the way you planned?lol no, it’s definitely not

12: Who was the last person whose phone number you added to your contacts?i genuinely don’t remember !

13: Would you rather have a poodle or a Rottweiler?rottweiler, i love dogs that look a little mean but have big hearts

14: Which hurts the most, physical or emotional pain?pffffft, that’s hard to answer but i’d say generally emotional, most of the time it’s harder to get rid of emotional pain

15: Would you rather visit a zoo or an art museum?both ?! i want to support the breeding of endangered animals that happens in zoos and see the cute animals but also i love a good rembrandt ?!

16: Are you tired?exhausted

17: How long have you known your 1st phone contact?since i was born

18: Are they a relative?my mother!

19: Would you ever consider getting back together with any of your exes?not a fucking chance

20: When did you last talk to the last person you shared a kiss with?a few hours ago, i think

21: If you knew you had the right person, would you marry them today?i don’t believe there’s a way to know nor do i think love works that way

22: Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?hell yeah i would

23: How many bracelets do you have on your wrists right now?none!

24: Is there a certain quote you live by?“if you make bad choices, own them” - my dad 

25: What’s on your mind?god, everything, idk im having a high key anxiety day

26: Do you have any tattoos?one pretty big one on my thigh

27: What is your favorite color?black !!!!!!!!!!

28: Next time you will kiss someone on the lips?maybe tomorrow, we’ll see how it goes

29: Who are you texting?uhhh, no one? everyone is asleep

30: Think to the last person you kissed, have you ever kissed them on a couch?yes

31: Have you ever had the feeling something bad was going to happen and you were right?all the time, my gut rarely lies

32: Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to?yes, his name is keir and he’s one of my best friends

33: Do you think anyone has feelings for you?i mean i’m dating someone so i fucking hope so

34: Has anyone ever told you you have pretty eyes?no ? i dont think ? i’ve had people say they’re big or the colour is interesting but idk

35: Say the last person you kissed was kissing someone right in front of you?i’d cheer her on

36: Were you single on Valentines Day?yes

37: Are you friends with the last person you kissed?yes!

38: What do your friends call you?rae ?

39: Has anyone upset you in the last week?yes

40: Have you ever cried over a text?pffft, yah

41: Where’s your last bruise located?my knee

42: What is it from?i fell over my own computer chair

43: Last time you wanted to be away from somewhere really bad?today

44: Who was the last person you were on the phone with?my mum, i think

45: Do you have a favourite pair of shoes?not right now, most i just wear my plain black docs

46: Do you wear hats if your having a bad hair day?no, i just tie is back

47: Would you ever go bald if it was the style?no, i really dont like my ears, idk why

48: Do you make supper for your family?yeah, my mum and step dad can’t cook

49: Does your bedroom have a door?ofc it does? what kind of bedroom doesn’t have a door? get these pretentious loft bedrooms out of my face

50: Top 3 web-pages?tumblr, ao3, youtube

51: Do you know anyone who hates shopping?plenty!

52: Does anything on your body hurt?period pains are all the rage today

53: Are goodbyes hard for you?yeah but i don’t tend to cry until they’ve already left so i look like i take them just fine

54: What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?water......... this morning

55: How is your hair?fine? a bit damaged from the cold weather

56: What do you usually do first in the morning?wish i was still asleep

57: Do you think two people can last forever?yes

58: Think back to January 2007, were you single?i dont fucking know

59: Green or purple grapes?GREEN or get out of my face

60: When’s the next time you will give someone a BIG hug?tomorrow~

61: Do you wish you were somewhere else right now?yes

62: When will be the next time you text someone?tomorrow!

63: Where will you be 5 hours from now?probably in bed still, but asleep

64: What were you doing at 8 this morning.sleeping

65: This time last year, can you remember who you liked?no, i was getting over the end of a four year relationship

66: Is there one person in your life that can always make you smile?no

67: Did you kiss or hug anyone today?no

68: What was your last thought before you went to bed last night?this sucks

69: Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end?many times

70: How many windows are open on your computer?ten! and they’re mostly your fics corey, go figure

71: How many fingers do you have?ten

72: What is your ringtone?i dont know, my phone is always on silent

73: How old will you be in 5 months?22 ~

74: Where is your Mum right now?sleeping in bed probably, idfk, she lives hours away

75: Why aren’t you with the person you were first in love with or almost in love?we grew up and grew apart but we were still okay until i had about four-six months of depression where i had to stop myself from doing something stupid daily and he didn’t notice despite us living together and sharing a bedroom (and those times i told him and he shrugged)

76: Have you held hands with somebody in the past three days?yes

77: Are you friends with the people you were friends with two years ago?yes! i still love them very much

78: Do you remember who you had a crush on in year 7?annabelle

79: Is there anyone you know with the name Mike?yes, there’s some grad students in the psych department called mike, they all look kinda the same too

80: Have you ever fallen asleep in someones arms?yeah, i miss being able to do that regularly

81: How many people have you liked in the past three months?more than i can count, my polyamorous ass has a crush on about seven people currently

82: Has anyone seen you in your underwear in the last 3 days?no

83: Will you talk to the person you like tonight?i’m talking to one of them

84: You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?i’d literally never do this

85: If your BF/GF was into drugs would you care?depends which drugs and how often, no one cares about a joint every few months

86: What was the most eventful thing that happened last time you went to see a movie?i spilled my popcorn and managed to hide that i had spilled it from my date pahaha

87: Who was your last received call from?my mum, wow it sounds like i talk to my mum a lot more than i do

88: If someone gave you $1,000 to burn a butterfly over a candle, would you?yes, i hate bugs, give me the money

89: What is something you wish you had more of?time, energy, patience, money

90: Have you ever trusted someone too much?no, i’m not someone who trusts easily

91: Do you sleep with your window open?only in the summer

92: Do you get along with girls?yes, anyone that doesn’t get on with someone because of their gender is an asshole

93: Are you keeping a secret from someone who needs to know the truth?nope

94: Does sex mean love?hell no, it can be an expression of it but no

95: You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?yeah she wold be freaking the fuck out because she’s locked in a room!

96: Have you ever kissed anyone with a lip ring?no, actually, i haven’t

97: Did you sleep alone this week?yes

98: Everybody has somebody that makes them happy, do you?yes ? 

99: Do you believe in love at first sight?no, not at all

100: Who was the last person that you pinky promise?one of my besties, holly

[justanoutlawfic]

Happy OQ Valentine’s Day!

So, this may be a complete wreck but I’d like to draw your attention to a few things before you read you’re present ;) 1. Im pretty sure I gave away my identity already because... 2. I’m working off my iPhone (it’s sad but it’s true lol) and... 3. Mobile Tumblr just refusesss to make things easy on me. 4. And also, I waited to write this last minute like most other things in my life. But aside from all that, I do hope you find even a tiny bit of enjoyment in this. Our beautiful sunken ship deserves a bit of light today ❤️ P.s. I’d love to write for you again in the future if you’re ever interested. HOPIN’ AND WISHIN’ AND PRAYIN’ (An Outlaw Queen fic) The shadows blanket the road this far out. They stretch from the tops of the evergreen trees and cast most of the road in darkness. Except for tonight, there are a few bright beams filtering down from the full moon in the sky. The only sounds come from the crickets and wildlife beyond the pines and it’s a solitary, lonely kind of peaceful. She’s made a habit out of coming here; slipping out just after Henry’s gone to sleep and spending a precious few hours hoping. Hoping for what, she isn’t quite sure. Maybe for the resolute acceptance of how things have turned out. For her heart to stop aching and move on already. Sometimes even, she’s loathe to admit, she wishes for a freak accident that would take Marian away and right the universe again. But mostly, she hopes he’ll appear out of thin air, grinning how he does, as he steps back into Storybrooke and into her life. She knows it won’t happen, that he might as well be in another realm altogether. She understands why he’s gone, respects it even, but it doesn’t keep her from peering out down the road and wondering where on the other side he could be tonight. The pavement is cool beneath her thin slacks but she likes sitting at the very edge where she can pretend the red line in front of her crossed legs is the only barrier keeping them apart. As if the two of them sit apart, the protection spell a curtain that only need be pulled back and they’d be face to face. She lifts the flask next to her and the moon beams off its shiny surface as she indulges in another sip. She’s not drunk, but the alcohol numbs things just enough, blurs the edges so she doesn’t actually cry. And it would be all to easy to let herself embrace her emotions and sob in self pity. He was supposed to be her second chance; her redemption for the awful woman she’d been—and he was, for however brief a time. His integrity made her better. His morals brought her back to that seventeen year old girl she once was. Just “Regina”, not “Her Majesty” or “The Evil Queen”. He saw the real Regina under all those layers of guilt and anger and regret. And perhaps what makes her feel more despondent than anything is that she’ll never get a third chance. She got so unexpectedly lucky with Robin. She didn’t deserve him to begin with, but only he could have been her soulmate. Only he could understand every sordid detail of her past and still have the audacity to not only love her, but choose her. Regina runs a hand through the front of her dark hair as she sighs. She misses him. She misses having another person unconditionally in her corner, misses not always feeling like the third wheel, misses the smell of damp earth and aged redwood. She wants to scream to the heavens, or this “author”, or whatever higher power there might be that it’s so unfair! Only she knows damn well how fair her pain is; how cosmic and condemned her story has read. It’s her punishment for choosing revenge when she could have chosen forgiveness. Daniel’s death was the great catalyst of her life. And while she knows there are many who let their grief morph into hatred, there had been another way. It would have been harder, maybe taken longer, but she might have come out the other side a better person; a hero. She won’t make that mistake again. While it feels just as bad as it had years ago, even worse actually; she cannot tarnish what Robin stood for, just to try to ease the ache. If anyone was undeserving, it was that man. He had made mistakes the same as any of them, sure, but he worked for his redemption. Robin had found a way to do what she never could. He turned his pain into purpose. A purpose full of love and selflessness and renewal. And now he’s been hurt once more, entangled in the web of her retribution; collateral damage for the penance she was paying. He had not known just what loving the Evil Queen would cost him, even if she had truly made a change. Yet, he had opted to accept the shit hand he was dealt and if only it weren’t for her he wouldn’t be hurting because of it. He might even be overjoyed to have his late wife back; his family reunited. She prays for that as she slowly pushes herself to her feet now. She decides it’s the only thing she can do to wish him well, Marian too. If only she could have granted him a memory spell before he’d gone so he could forget about the wreckage she’d brought into his heart. Of course, her thief would never have taken the easy way out. And Regina can’t help but to hold on to the thought of him remembering her, remembering the true, sacred, magical connection they shared. She suddenly has to lift her fingers to her face to brush away an errant tear. She will not feel sorry for herself, at least not anymore tonight. Staring out down the still, vacant road out of Storybrooke, she sniffles and squares her shoulders to reign in her emotions and she hopes above all else that Robin finds the kind of happiness she knows he deserves. This chapter of her story is closing, and she needs to let the dust settle on the pages and find a way to move on. If her heart is going to take it’s time mending, then she must stop her late night visits. She has a son at home and new, delicate friendships, and a town that seems forever under threat, and a population of people who she owes debts so great she may never repay them. But she must try. She turns on her heel and heads back to her silver benz parked just off the shoulder, opens the door and gives one last, longing gaze down the vacant road. In her mind, the protected barrier shimmers and parts and her handsome thief appears, Roland at his side, tiny hand clutched in his. Regina abandons the door, unconsciously letting her feet carry her forward a few paces. She let’s her eyes slip closed and smiles wide with the image of them behind her lids. “Regina”, he says. And it’s not until she reopens her eyes that it occurs to her the tone of his voice had not been quite right. “Regina!” As if awaking from a dream, her focus snaps back to reality and he’s still in front of her, rushing towards her more accurately, his arms outstretched. The the next moment she can feel him against her chest, can smell his woodsy scent right under her nose. “Oh thank God, Regina!”, he nearly cries in relief and it’s all she can do to catch her brain up to what’s happening. Maybe she’d had more to drink than she thought? He pulls out of the embrace, but doesn’t completely withdraw his touch. He must have sensed her shock, perhaps too overwhelmed to see her to notice she didn’t hug back. “Regina?” Her eyes scan over his body, willing herself to believe it’s really him, but they land instead on the dimple faced child grinning up at her. “Gina! We come to visit you!”, his little voice hits her ears and she raises her eyes back to Robin’s anxious gaze. The acceptance breaks around her and she throws her arms around his neck, afraid he might disappear. “Robin!” It’s the only thing she manages to say while she’s this overcome with emotions. He holds her back, just as tight and whispers her name quietly against her head and she finally finds her voice. “Wha—why—what are you doing here?”, she breathes in disbelief. Her hand falls to Roland’s head below and caresses his locks to finally acknowledge him, but she needs to grasp her current reality before she makes a fool of herself. “It’s Zelena”, he tells her with a bit of disdain, “We’re all in danger. I had to come back to warn you all, to help fight” He glances down at his now frightened son and lifts him into his right hip for a soothing hug while Regina blinks in confusion. “What are you talking about? Where is Mari—“ “We can’t talk about it now”, he cuts her off urgently, gesturing with a discreet nod to the boy in his arms. “Listen, I promise I will explain everything later. But we don’t have a lot of time to gather the others and make a plan”. He slides a gentle hand down her arm as if to assure her it’ll be alright despite his ominous warning. Roland wiggles in his grasp and his father sets him on his feet a moment before he bounds off a yard or two and squats down to examine a rock on the pavement. “I’m just so happy to see you, Regina”, Robin cups her cheek in his chilled palm, “didn’t think I would again”. His words rush off his tongue before his lips are pressed to hers, desperate and needy, fueled by the current perils only he knows they face and his all consuming love for her. It is a reunion kiss that can only come from resolutely believing they’d be separated permanently. Regina responds with all the heart she can muster, their lips moving fluidly together as if the last few weeks had not eclipsed. When they finally break for air they are both grinning like fools, foreheads resting together as their breathing falls in sync, and she swears she suddenly feels whole again, as if her arm had been missing and has just now been returned. She lets the feeling wash over her, soaks it in selfishly for a minute because she knows how fleeting this absolute contentment is now. There are still a thousand questions running through her head, a dark cloud churning and billowing over their little town and every life in it, but with Robin’s hand in her own things feel possible. She tightens her grip and they start toward her car, ushering Roland away from his picture in the dirt as they go. They let their hands slip apart to round the car and Robin opens the back so Roland can hop inside excitedly, insisting that he’s mastered belting himself in. Once he’s safely buckled and shut in, Robin pulls his handle but catches Regina’s eyes over the hood. They both have a flurry of emotions hidden in their expressions, but one sticks out above them all and Regina knows this one to be the only true importance in the world. “I love you”, Robin declares, the lines around his eyes wrinkled from the joy on his face. Her chest swells with such happiness that her dark eyes moisten with tears and she doesn’t care that her voice cracks when she finally speaks the words herself. “I love you”. Fin

[decodervon]

Mean.

mean. it was mean and meant to provoke. it all hurts.

being honest isn’t a shield against being upset. that night with Kayla, I was honest and i knew it would upset you. do you remember how you treated me after i told you? i knew you would be mad. disappointed. sad. angry. i knew you’d feel those things and more and i still asked for more. i let you treat me however you wanted to treat me, because i knew what i did was wrong. ive kicked myself a MILLION times for that act and let you get in as many kicks as you wanted. just because you are honest, does not mean anyone has to be lenient in how they feel. thats a loss you have to accept and admit. its a permanent black mark on your record, and that’s just what it is. you can feel upset about having it pointed out, but its what. happened. hearing you almost OD on drugs is scary, and makes me mad, and disappointed, and angry. I KNOW you feel that way yourself, but you’ve gotten to feel that and process that already. this is still news to me. i’ve put so much time and care into you that i’m allowed to be angry. you don’t get to be angry about ME being angry about a dumb mistake you made. thats the sound of me CARING about you living and dying. a blackout is one step below hospitalization. thats SCARY to hear. what if i told you i did so many drugs i blacked out?? or how I was so drunk I dropped my bike on myself and then dropped it a second consecutive time till a stranger had to help me? see? its honest, and I fully expect you to be mad, scared. and disappointed in me. part of accepting responsibility for your shortcomings and failures is accepting that they ARE failures and if someone points them out or is disappointed in them, you have to accept that and make peace with it. if someone hates me or distrusts me for the mistakes I make... they have a right to. I have a right to be upset. your parents and the people who care about you have a right to be upset. you have a right to be upset when they do things that hurt themselves. please dont be so angry at me for caring about your well being.

i.. dont like manipulating people. it's like being good at kicking dogs. it's a way my intellect can be used to deceive people into actions they wouldnt normally. I dont morally like doing it. like I did manipulate megan to give me information.. I just asked. I wanted to know how you were. I am desperate for information about you because I'm still... addicted. I'm slowly reprogramming myself but it hurts. it hurts to know I spent so long suffering just to have to swallow that it's over. and moving on with our respective people hurts and proves that. there was a time where I was manipulating you and it was horrible. it makes me feel like that time I pressured you into sex. it feels gross and empty and I really dont want to resort to it if I can. my mom does it habitually because of whatever her trauma was growing up.. but I dont share her same wonton opinion of its use. I justified using it because I thought you were seeing someone behind my back... and I was right. that's what always killed me about that time. I was suspicious, i was controlling, and manipulative and I ended up being... correct to have tried to do so. it kills me when I go over it. but it's also true that none of that stuff helped. being suspicious made me distrustful. being controlling made it harder to believe you. and manipulation made me feel like nothing you said or did was authentic. there were BIG consequences to those actions, regardless of the situation. and none of them helped. maybe suspicion because that led me to finally outing you, but yeah. I promise, I dont want to go back to any of that. I am not trying to goad you out of any information and am happy to pay for it with information that you might want. its honorable and I dont have to feel so awful after.

I touched upon some of the feelings I felt about the tryst.. its.. I feel really complicated. I'm.. starved for physical affection. enough to throw money at randos for nudes (not a very proud moment for me [and while sex work is real work, I've usually done well enough to not have to patronize]) and would probably go way out of my way and spend myself too much for it. i... did have something physical with someone that was very brief but I don't want to get into it. I felt weird. it felt wrong and I wish it couldve been you. doesnt matter. what matters is I would spend myself much more than I should for some physical affection, especially if the person knew me and all my weird kinks. i.. wanted that from you for so long. not just the last few years. the whole relationship I wanted you to want me. i never felt like you really did. sometimes you did. moments. places. seconds. but i hungered for you. all the time. the second I decided I was in (roughly three months in) I never looked at you a different way. it didnt matter what your hair looked like, or if you had makeup, or if you weighed more or less... none of that mattered. I decided I was in and you were this.. bond I craved. I never knew how to get you to... want me sexually from a standing still point. I poured all of that desire into going down on you. into a mastery of manipulating you sexually until I could get you to cum as fast as a guy. I wanted you so bad. I wanted that.. reaffirmation of being sexually desirable. i wanted to feel attractive because that's the only way i ever FELT sexy. i wanted to be objectified by you because it made me feel good about myself. having this super hot girl treat me like my body was super hot? its was like drinking out of the holy grail of self-esteem. words are... ultimately meaningless to me. it's like. I have a certain experience and mastery where I understand that words are just... nothing. they're only the cardboard cut out of Meaning and the actions behind them, are what make them stand. you could tell me I'm Hot for 100 years and I'll shrug it off everytime. but to me, you dont fuck someone you dont find attractive. not if you have the choice.

to me you were always this stonewall. you knew the world wanted your body. no matter what you thought about it. you built up this stone face that I could never see past. I never thought my actions were good enough. it's why I always asked. why I always needed to check that I was sexually adequate enough. I felt like I was at arms reach. its felt like you were this quiet master. watching, waiting; judging. I wanted you to be vulnerable and weird and gross around me. I bring up one of my favorite all time sexual experiences with you as the time you came home drunk and had the loudest, grossest dirty talk session with me as we fucked and i loved it (for being super hot as well) because you were so... raw. you didnt care if I was into it or not. you didnt care what you said or how I responded. you just let loose and it was so honest and pure. it was the best sex because i actually felt close to you. I didn't have to ask if you liked it. didnt have to wonder for one second. I knew you got what you needed and in doing so, gave me what I needed. most of the time...sex felt like I was bothering you. like you just wanted to get it over with.

and the tryst is.. its. you spend so long feeling sexually unwanted and then these last years.. I don't really rank into your priority system. I haven't for a long time. It goes: Work>Burlesque>Family>Friends/Self-care>Cats>Me. I've had to compete against everything else in your life to just.. get a chance to see you. I'm publically banned from your house because of a relationship that came LONG before it, but we both know it's total bullshit since you still end up sneaking me in when it works into your schedule. I really wanted to show you that I wasnt just a mad, angry fucking asshole anymore. That I did have the capacity to trust. that I had more patience. but I had to fight against everything go even get a chance and you were barely willing to even see me. I just..

I'm not trying to point a finger. that's not what this is about. it's about realistic expectations and being logical. a tryst is a fun, secret idea. maybe I'll write a piece about it. I'm not saying you wouldnt put in work, but just like you dont trust me on certain things.. I dont trust you to either pencil me in or erase a plan and spontaneously appear. that has nothing to do with damages and more about character. you're someone who plans things. you like following a path. its comfortable for you. you can control it. I have always been the opposite. I am "I'll be there when I get there" and always got a secret place to show someone. I was the neighborhood kid on his bike looking for a hideout. control is.. an illusion. we are our truest selves when chaos hits. when all the plans fall apart. I like the concept of bailing on anything to go do something bad.

you're healing. I'm healing. I don't expect you to roll the dice on me and that's nothing if not just pragmatic. it gets me excited because /i/ would do something like that. like it's a hot idea to think about climbing up to your balcony for secret sex. would I ever do it? no. it's a huge violation of privacy and i already promised I would never intrude on your safe spaces. that is a gesture /i/ would like. not you. I've had so many times I've wanted you to just... show up somewhere for me. I remember ice skating alone on valentines day. I cry when I write that. you were with friends and we werent in a great way. but I showed up and I hoped you would and I got a "I would of but it's too late, I'm with my friends already" I couldve been with my biological father and still bailed for ice skating with you. and so I mean. I'm not saying you wouldnt do the the work or that I dont trust you. I'm saying the definition of Insanity is repeating the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome. you're getting what you want out of someone else and I have nothing left to give. I'm sure you dont cum as hard for him, but give it time and direction and im sure that changes. everything I had or did is replaceable. repeatable. forgettable.

and both our relationships are fledgling. I know you care about him, but you're damaged like me. I know that its gratitude. it's like someone giving you a massage. you're thankful, but a connection that does not make. I'm not saying my situation is better, infact, its possibly worse. I'm involved with someone I've had a decade long crush on. who's choosing to mess with men again specifically due in part to ME. the idea of either one of us getting into something even partial meaningful is laughable and HIGHLY dangerous to those people who are involved. I'm taking things intentionally slow because I dont want this person to be a rebound. sex, affection, anything. I need to process before I dedicate myself to anyone. but you're having a much more casual and adult relationship. will it turn into something REAL? who can say. but regardless, it is a rebound. just like I was. and I had to fight tooth and nail through the first year due to your friends influencing you, you still fucking around with your ex (lol that's me now) and your general uneasiness to want to be official in an attempt to a real, honest relationship.

idk. maybe I'm reading into the fact that you dont care if "mystery man gets hurt". I am envious of your casual and open thing. I wish for the same, but the Universe apparently needed me to know that my longtime ultra crush was interested in me and.. I.. I couldn't turn it down. i need it after everything. i was almost driven crazy. the only thing that's missing is the physical part and im.. trying to keep it like that. I dont know why. I should take a page out of your book and just.. do it. you have that now. probably wasnt more than a couple of dates before, if that. I have this meaning and purpose associated with sex... and that's hard when you were in love with someone who felt differently. I wanted to be the one to take care of you. even if we werent doing well. just break it down to its physical components and go to town and just.. part ways after. no strings. but that's not something we could ever believe the other could do with one another. and it hurts.. a lot to know you're physically with someone else.

a lot.