#im not the point of contact with the customers which is probably a good thing but also i see the emails waiting for responses pleasee
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abyssaldyke · 2 years ago
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Control freaks of the world unite no not like that no just give it to me you're doing it wr
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terraliensvent · 4 months ago
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guys i think civ isnt satan (edit: they lied)
EDIT: please see this post, civ played everyone like a fiddle and blatantly lied about having nothing to do with the pet species deletion. keeping this og post up to show how dedicated they were to painting their narrative
so, a few screenshots relating to their bulletin were given to me (you can see my initial thoughts here)
now as with all breaking news there are revisions to be made with new info
(all screens can be found in this imgur gallery, may be out of order because imgur is dummy stupid)
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so it turns out, civ and coy actually werent contacted prior to the decision. i do agree this could have been handled differently and there should have been more of a discussion around it, HOWEVER im more inclined to the side of current terra staff. for one, they came to the decision of one adopt every two months for each staff member as compensation for their work on the team. their reasoning for cutting down coy and civ's amounts is to be fair to everyone especially considering coy and civ arent actively working on the species anymore. i dont necessarily agree with the decision to cut customs though, since people have to actively seek them out for that and its more akin to a comm service. i also want to note that i can understand why terra staff wouldnt want to negotiate about the number of adopts with civ and coy, considering that this is how it went last time
you can see in the imgur screens the original terms, notably that civ and coy collectively were allowed to make 12 adopts a month. i can see how it would be seen as unfair to not be able to be compensated as much as the people who left the place to die.
throughout the screens it seems civ is being a lot more reasonable, i think more discussion should have been had with them and after introspecting, it probably wasnt right for them to be banned, however, i dont see why they couldnt just be unbanned. i think that theyre getting lumped in with coy severely here and truthfully that isnt fair to them. i dont know how i would go about the downgrade from 6 to 2, but what i do know is they were being pretty polite about it
coy on the other hand...
throughout the screens they just seem to keep throwing salt into the wound, working through loopholes and being petty just for the sake of it. their behavior i would argue is still deplorable, and their unwillingness to work constructively is probably the reason why they and civ werent included in the discussion. ive gone over coy a million times before, these screens just keep hammering the point home
besides that, there are a couple other things to note:
Tycho's lack of presence
Tycho (furthermore referred to as cal) diverting the discussion to others is something that has happened before, and can be a point of criticism against him, but honestly my personal opinion is that shit happens sometimes. cal has very valid reasons to want to pull away from the discussion, especially with the myo compensation event he seems to be giving his best despite the situation. i am willing to give cal a lot of leeway when it comes to being stressed because we have seen the work that he and his team are putting in. i mean ffs we already have new pet species concepts not even a day after the old ones were removed. hes got a lot on his plate, and coys un-reasonability and demanding things be done NOW would drive anyone crazy even if they werent already dealing with species AND irl responsibilities. you could argue that cal shouldnt be in a place of ownership if he cant take the heat which is a valid criticism, however i think that hes a fine owner, good even, its just that these situations keep popping up one after another and he just cant keep up. these arent things that normal species owners deal with
"disgusting"
so regarding these screens (because i know some civ/coy whiteknights are gonna try and use it to excuse all their actions)
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listen, was it the most professional way to respond? no. but also: (assuming it was cal who said these) i would argue this is a totally valid argument. granted, probably not to be directed at civ, but still valid. if i was dealing with the same continued problems from people who arent supposed to even be a part of the project anymore, i would have blown my lid way worse. this comment isnt even that egregious to me, its just that civ and coy have created such an echo chamber that any criticism is seen as sacrilege, and given cal's previously mentioned stressors its completely understandable for him to react harshly when they have to deal with coy drilling up his ass and being petty for no reason
civ's final words
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the screens speak for themselves here. i do think there are some things to be criticized relating to civs bulletin (particularly comments painting them as this poor sad puppy dog tossed in the rain) but ultimately they are not as much of a villain in this as coy is. best course of action honestly is to just leave them alone, they were pretty professional in the screens and just seem to want to be done with it
final verdict? coy is an ass. civ kind of isnt. it could have been done differently but i really understand why it wasnt. cal needs a break. new mods are still doing good in my eyes.
and terravent fans eat good tonight
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ayyponine · 2 years ago
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sharing unexpected eye contact w a guy like... what are we
thinking about two entirely separate guys actually rip
one is a guy at a work meeting about a week ago who 1. had an extended chat w me before the official start 2. during which he asked how i was doing but after my "good" and update on goings on w the store, customers and products he asked again how i PERSONALLY was doing like?? uh good?? 3. also during the team meeting he was explaining like this and that and a good point which - what's your name again? (me: daphne) a good point which daphne brought up- i was like.. ok so i make an impression on you and i stand out frm the other girlies here orr.. not to mention w the prev meeting he also treated me like the most responsible person in the room to b trusted w things like ok you see me..
the other is frm two weekends back when i visited diff artists' studios and tbh i kept my visit to his short bc 1. i seemed to startle him by even being there 2. since there was no other visitor at the time he called the one on one tour "awkward" barely two minutes in rip (did offer me a drink though so idk mb i was welcome to stay) and 3. idk if he rlly knew what to do w my super positive and complimentary vibes on his artworks displayed. we also talked a bit abt the live drawing sessions hes hosting (he was surprised i had heard abt them before) and afterwards i was like damn why DIDNT i ever go to one of those theyre so reasonably priced and ive been meaning to give it a try fr ages? so i signed yself up fr it but instantly after considered dropping out again bc sure i was allowed to visit the studio and attend the drawing session like those are both open events but was the guy really comfortable? w my presence? should i bow out? except then last weekend while biking home a diff cyclist overtook me looked back & waved and it was the guy?? who apparently 1. recognised me frm the back, with my hood up (my coat is kinda distinctive tho i guess) 2. after that realisation instead of staying behind, ignoring or whatever went past, looked back, established eye contact & greeted me so first of all im massively relieved that id probably be welcome at the drawing session and hes not that uncomfortable w my vibes but also i am like. uh what are the implications
tldr local woman recieves acknowledgement from someone not obligated to do so. keeps thinking abt the encounter at least once a day
(tries to remember she recently got rejected by tinder match after a few promising dates so mb shes just. clinging to any proof shes still worthy of male attention rip)
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zoueriemandzijnopmars · 1 year ago
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@vogelmeister said: i can assure you i am ready. but can you please roast my uni bot who picked up the word "transcript" and disregarded the rest of my email, because im upset
Yeah sure! Firstly though, to defend the bot, humans also sometimes do stuff like this. I was actually reminded of this meme I once made in frustration:
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I don't remember what I was asking about but it was something spelled similar to convolution mentioned in an assignment and I couldn't figure out what they meant so I set an email asking about it and I got that reply.
That brings me to my point about AI bots though, because a human, you can email back, you can clarify and they will probably own up to their mistake, because hey, miscommunications happen. Chat bots in my experience however are less good at owning up to their mistake and it is not always easy to get them to reconsider.
My mom once had an issue with Bol.com and had to chat with their chatbot Billy to resolve it, now after a while it seemed like she was getting there, but then he asked for her phone number. She typed it like 20 times before giving up because somehow he didn't recognise phone numbers? But then why ask for it? It was incredibly frustrating and confusing and to this day it is still used as an example to make fun of chatbots around our house.
The problem with many old-school chatbots is that they are programmed to follow a specific script and are not always properly programmed to deal with divergences of that script. (Side note: I say chatbot, because that's what most people call it, but the correct term for these customer service bots is dialogue system (Jurafsky & Martin, 2023) (the link leads to my favourite book on speech and language processing, I think it is written really well and it is very approachable, and they quote Agatha Christie, Jane Austen and Shakespeare))
In the case of your uni's bot it is probably programmed to handle a couple of regularly occurring tasks, like people asking for a copy of their transcripts and will hence take any e-mails mentioning them and try to handle them as it is programmed.
While this is annoying, it is not necessarily a problem, as long as chatbots are used as I think they should, namely with an option to contact an actual human at all times. Like with Billy and the phone number it would have been really nice to get to talk to a human and pass on the phone number. Unfortunately companies want to save money by only using chatbots and it can be quite difficult to get to talk to an actual human.
A bigger problem occurs with the actual 'chatbots', while early chatbots like ELIZA (Weizenbaum, 1966) were mainly used just to illustrate the possibilities of computers (and although impressive, once you know what to look for it is pretty clear the answers are generated by a surprisingly simple algorithm). They didn't come up with original thoughts and often just repeated what the user said or used the same phrase designated to keep the user talking, over and over again (e.g. Can you tell more about X).
(One interesting early concern was already privacy. Many users of ELIZA discussed quite personal topics with her which could be logged. More recent chatbots have had problems with them learning from humans and therefore accidentally repeating private information that they got told.)
The newest hot AI chatbot, chatgpt (my beloved, as my sister claims) can do very impressive things, it speaks multiple languages, it can write your code for you, it can write songs, poems, stories, and it can even do math (sometimes). I have personally mainly just played around with it but I did use it to generate a fantasy name for an oc side character in a fanfic and to generate an anagram name for the fictional app I had to pitch for an assignment. In my opinion it is pretty great for these kinds of tasks, where it can give you some suggestions and you can pick what you like best and possibly even adapt it. (Disclaimer: I said it can write your code but it is mainly good at code snippets, whole programs are a lot harder, so again it is mainly good for inspiration.)
While this would be my preferred use, what has gotten a lot of traction is the fact that it can write whole papers for people, but also that it sometimes "hallucinates" references that do not actually exist. Many AI systems have been optimised to not be wrong. My hypothesis (I am not an expert in this field and did not look at the source code) is that chatgpt has learned that it is better to guess than to not answer, quite similar to students writing an exam in school, not answering is always wrong, better make something up and hope for some points. This is why you should never trust what an AI tells you up front, it can help you do things, but you should always check the output and use your own common sense.
So far so good, chatgpt is a tool that can be used as long as the user checks the output. Similar to the earlier discussed dialogue systems, it is good to be able to have a human in the loop. The real problem with chatgp in my opinion is not that it makes mistakes, but that it refuses to own up to them. Most people who follow me here would know that I am quite the fan of the Dutch duology The Letter for the King/Secrets of the Wild Wood. I hence couldn't resist the chance to talk to chatgpt about them. There were a lot of fascinating things in that conversation, but the thing relevant to this essay is that it claimed that Piak was a thief. For people not aware of the plot of the books, Piak is a 14 year old boy, he was orphaned and has lived with Menaurus (a Gandalf-like wise old man figure) ever since, during the first book he becomes Tiuri's (the main character) best friend. He is most definitely not a thief, but chatgpt didn't accept my counter arguments and stayed by its story.
Therefore although it looks like we got a long way from the first customer service bots. Chatgpt still suffers from the same underlying problem, being programmed to optimise always being right. This means it is still unable to admit to gaps in its knowledge, it doesn't recognise when it made mistakes, and it cannot change its approach accordingly.
I have so many nuanced takes on AI that this website really is not ready for
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le0watch · 3 years ago
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(tws: implied mental illness and self harm)
today is the day.
the day langa has been dreading.
he looks out his front window, his chin propped on the palm of his hand. he's waiting, sitting on one of the chairs in his living room, leg bouncing impatiently.
he doesn't really want this addition to his household, but he'd rather get the thing and move on with his life. but no, they have to be running late.
he sighs heavily, and goes to picking at the skin around his fingernails. the familiar sting and drops of blood calms him a little, and he draws in a deep breath. it'll be fine. mom wants this, since she can't live with him right now. he needs this to stay stable, apparently.
he jumps when theres a knock on the front door. at some point, an automated taxi had pulled up in front of his house without him noticing. he takes a moment to wonder how he hadn't noticed it, before pushing to his feet to open the door.
a flash of red hair and amber eyes greets him, with skin a darker tan than langa's pale skin. the thing is grinning widely, hands tucked behind its back. it perks up when it sees him, and langa wants to rip his hair out. he'd known they'd purchased one a month ago, personalizing it to fit langa's needs and physical preferences, but to actually see it on his doorstep was like getting slapped in the face.
"hello!" the android exclaims, its led mood light circling a calm blue. "my name is reki- i'm the android sent by cyberlife!"
langa has to bite back a groan of annoyance. "hi," he replies. he has to play nice. this thing is motoring him and his moods. it's probably taking notes of his physical appearance and outfit option. which, his outfit for today isnt as bad as it usually is. it's a baggy white shirt and a pair of jeans. simple and comfortable.
"it is so nice to finally meet you!" the android continues, clasping its hands in front of itself with glee. "i was designed to fit your personal needs and preferences-" he already knew that- "but if you do not like how i look or act, you can always send me back for maintenance. the first change is free!"
"yay," langa replies coldly. but he steps back and gestures of the thing to step inside. it does, looking around his small home. "this is the living room, over there is the kitchen, and to the left down the hall is my bed and bathroom. id rather you not go in there."
"i'll have to, it's part of my programming," the thing says, with the audacity to sound apologetic. as if. androids can't feel anything. "my program dictates that you cannot be allowed alone for too long, because of your past actions."
langa lets out another heavy sigh, dragging his hand down his face. his mom probably added that to it. shes been so worried about him since he'd tried to commit not too long ago.
"right," langa responds. "so... what do you do?"
"im glad you ask!" the android says with too much cheer. it's starting to give langa a headache. "i was custom designed to act as your caregiver and to be the eyes of your loved ones. My functions are as follows: medication, time, self care, and eating reminders. i have basic medical knowledge, so if you injure yourself i can help heal it. i am also programmed to become a friend of yours if you so desire."
"uh huh," langa says, quickly losing interest in the situation. as if he'd ever be friends with an android, anyways.
"so, may i ask when you are supposed to take your prescribed medicines?" the android asks next, not missing a beat. "as well how long you are typically in the bathroom, so that i may check on you if you are in there longer than the given time."
"you don't need to know that," langa snaps, instinctively shifting on his feet. the fresh cuts on his thighs sting, but it's a good feeling. "but i can give you my meds so you know."
"okay! i'll time you next time you are in the bathroom, so i can get a feel of your usual time," the android says brightly. langa glares at it. it doesn't seem to notice. "i should inform you as well: i have a smelling receptor implemented, so if i smell blood on you, or find that you have seriously injured yourself, i will instantly contact medical help to come pick you up. afterwards, i will check you into a mental hospital to make sure you get the help you need if i am not enough."
langa's nose scrunches up with distaste. "asshole," he mutters. he thinks he says it quiet enough so that the thing can't hear him, yet he still catches the led on its temple cycling from blue to red, indicating distress. weird.
"y- i am sorry," it stutters. androids could stutter? huh, they must make them able to do almost anything. "for now, i will give you space. i will check up on you semi-frequently. please let me know if you need anything, and when you are going to bring me your perscribed medication." it pauses, staring off into the distance for a moment. its eyes have a strange look in them, the led cycling red for a few seconds longer before returning to blue. it smiles at him, but he gets the feeling its forced. "i am glad to be here with you. i will be entering rest mode, now."
with that, it shuts down, led cycling yellow, fake eyelids lowered over its fake eyes. it almost looks like an actual person had fallen asleep standing up.
too bad it's fake.
he sighs heavily for the third time the past hour and runs a hand down his face. his hands tingle with the need to grab his favorite knife, but he doesn't want it to smell his blood. he'll have to find times and places to do it, then.
he just isn't prepared for the events that are soon to follow after receiving this thing. if he had, he would have sent straight back to cyberlife.
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the-bjd-community-confess · 3 years ago
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More Divaz confos
Mod: Round two of these, previously: link. There’s some interesting customer reviews in this batch (5 and 8) which may be useful to readers.
1.Vic3mage "the secret bjdivaz vip group is just pictures of boxes coming in and going out". Yeah, between the bitching about d0llshe, asking people to post on doa for them, dunking on ex-customers, posting pics of random doll parts that they can't identify which doll they're supposed to go with, whining about how little money they make, whining when ppl e-mail them, whining. Yeah, other than that it's just boxes, and alpacas u can buy off amazon anyway lol.
~Anonymous
2.The butthurt users crying and guilttripping under every Divaz confession who have never been seen before elsewhere on this blog are extremely unsuspicious and unproblematic and definitely unconnected to Divaz and unbiased in every possible way
/s
~Anonymous
3.idk shit abt bjd1vas but v1cemage i can absolutely tell you the shit about ch0o is 100% accurate, fucker's got a long, long history of being an awful little man that stretches well beyond his involvement in the doll community. between the two i'd still trust bjd1vas over ch00 ch00 the fool any day!
~Anonymous
4.The Z3st and Div4s thing is really silly and both entities were being shady but did they really have to take the DZ waiting room down with them? :( He had even made a separate thread about it......
~Anonymous 
5. RE: BJD Divaz
I’ve been a customer of BJD Divaz since they first started, when it was only run by Chart3rline. I even contacted other BJD companies trying to persuade them to work with Divaz as their US representative. Most declined because they didnt like D's commission fee, but I was able to persuade a few of them.
I asked them to purchase a doll off DOA because I couldnt afford the asking price, and while they did, I found out later that instead of agreeing to purchase the seller's price, they negotiated the price to be lower. This significantly cheaper price was not passed down to me. I paid the full price +the commission fee based on that full price. I am disappointed I was not told this. This is when I stopped viewing them as a "friend" and instead, as a business. I dont hold this against them, it’s context to what Im going to say later.
I’ve stopped purchasing from D after my recent order from them. This company usually takes 3 or less months to make a doll. I’ve ordered the doll from D and it took 11 months. They let me know it arrived to them in March and that it will be shipped soon, except it only shipped on July, and only after I sent them several "reminder" emails. Before people in the comments try to put the blame on me for not sending a reminder soon, please keep in mind that I acknowledged the email in March and confirmed everything and they keep stressing to not send them emails because they are busy, I’ve emailed once every month since. I’ve since switched to ACBJD and Ive been happy with communication and the dolls ordered. I imagine ACBJD gets the same amount of emails, but they dont berate their customers if they email more than once.
I regret when people wanted a D0llshe, but not deal with him, I always recommended D. I would warn people of ordering directly and instead go through D. They assured buyers they would be handling communication and all the efforts so they wouldnt worry, except they didn’t. A person that I’ve recommended D to, who surpassed 2 years, keeps messaging me for help because D wouldnt reply to their emails. She is respectful, sweet and a timid person, not a Karen. This person, emailed D without a reply so would email a week later, only to be told that their email would be pushed down to the bottom if emailed again. No response, so she goes to FB and IG, who both tell her to email because they arent the person running orders. Finally got a response that they would get their refund, after D0llshe sends D's payment, but minus the PP fees. 3 months later and theres no refund, only a promise of them getting it later. Why is the customer missing out on fees when they have no doll? Customer emails d0llshe and he says he cant offer refund, because they didn’t order through them, which is understandable, but when all options are out for a customer, do you blame them for chargebacks?
If anyone files a chargeback, D will be blacklisting them from every company they rep, as in blacklisting you from buying direct from those companies. I urge everyone who has negative experiences with D to email the companies they rep instead of venting on confession blogs, and writing your experiences on social media. Make it count and send letters to the companies they represent, and please provide proof because they will try to make you out to be a liar.
Speaking of, they made vague posts on cl0ver singing for charging paypal fees, and that they offer guarantees as an official dealer, except when offering refunds, to non delivered products I might add, they are keeping the fees, and offered no help with d0llshe, even before they ended their dealership with them. Someone on DOA was told to not email them unless the wait time surpassed 1.5 years. They are even so petty that they post screenshots with the full name and address (dox) of the customer on purpose and then delete it out a day later as if they just realized their "mistake".
Before you try to make excuses for them about the fires, keep in mind, I am dealing with a business. The lower price negotiation with the DOA sale, I am in no way obligated to give them a pass or treat them as a friend when they made it clear that our relationship is strictly business. Their issues, are not my issues. D0lk got dragged for not shipping in time, others, including artisans, got dragged for being so late with communication and sending back refunds for cancelled orders. Why does D get to be exempt?
The supporters are the worst part of this, because of instead of being honest so D can improve, they support them for being "real". For example, look how micemage words it, to make it seem like this criticism is from one person, when there are people on addicts who didn’t have good experience. Check the bjd dealers tag here, you will see the supporters in the comments going off on any and all criticism of D. Some have sane comments, but the majority are cult like and try to identify the person venting as if it’s one person. Addicts deletes threads with criticism asking people to instead direct it to their feedback group; which lets be honest, no one is going to do because its "not that bad", and most dont want to join a new group, which is mostly dead.
This is my first and last confession on D, I’ve emailed each company they rep and told them my experience as well as contacting the 3 month wait company, with screenshots of my order, how they handled it, and the excuse they used to put blame on the company for being so late (package arrived march to D, 4 months to be shipped is on D, not the company). I’m not using company or order details because I know they are petty enough to try to identify me and publicly shame me like they have to others. This and the threat of suing is why not many people like to go public with their experience. They just keep feedback neutral, move on and never deal with again.
~Anonymous
6. Listen, I can't take you seriously in regards to BJD!vas because you're posting on a confession blog. If you were serious, you would have posted in buyer beware groups, DoA reviews or the board to get things resolved, or you would have made a complaint to the BBB. And your language makes you come off more as someone with an agenda rather than someone who is trying to warn people. If shipping is the issue, stop buying with standard shipping and pay the extra price for express shipping. I saw one of you complain that it sat with them for 20 days; that's probably because you're not the only one and they more than likely have a queue to check and then ship out. Do mistakes happen? Yes, because we're human. I've been in this hobby for a few years now and it seems like most people know you're going to have to wait, sometimes even outside the expected wait time. And shipping something as big as a doll is a timely endeavor. I shouldn't have to say that.
My point is simply to stop complaining on an confession board and either take it to the places previously mentioned. Posting here behind the anonymous mask makes you sound like a petulant child who didn't get their way right away.
~Anonymous
7.My only issue with BJD Divaz is how I never get any updates. Every email, they tell me to join their facebook page for status updates. I dont have a FB and I dont want to create one. I bought my doll through their website, updates should be posted on their website, or they could send me an email. That isnt asking much.
~Anonymous
8. Since there seems to be a lot of either "completely negative everything sucks" or "everything was sunshine and rainbows" confessions about bjd!vaz I thought I'd chime in with a neutral review.
PROS
-They were always polite and professional in their emails, and gave me very detailed answers to my questions.
-I got exactly what I ordered, so no mix ups or missing parts or anything like that.
-I think them being forthcoming about personal issues (only one person on staff, illness, the flooding isue etc.) on social media is good, since it keeps customers updated as to why there might be delays.
-If you live in the US their shipping is very reasonable.
CONS
-Reply times were varied. Sometimes it could take over a week, sometimes a couple hours.
-My order took about 10mo which, when comparing to other people who ordered through the same company around the same time, was about 3x as long as if I bought it direct and 2x as long if I had gone through a different dealer. I get some of the waiting time is out of their control, but it was kind of ridiculous.
-They dont necessarily ship the same day they send you a tracking number. I wish they said something like, "Here's your tracking number, our pickup is Xday so it should start moving after that" just so I could be aware.
All in all no major complaints. I got my doll and all that. Their lone employee is clearly overwhelmed. I hope they hire another person, if only to give the one a break.
Truthfully, I most likely won't buy through them again. I'd rather pay the international shipping and go direct, than deal with the extensive wait time. I'd still recommend them to someone looking for a very long layaway, though. I paid in full, but if I had a 12mo layaway I would've never known they weren't ready to ship my doll until month 10.
~Anonymous
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autogeneity · 1 year ago
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(a) please insert appropriate qualifiers everywhere because if I do there will be more qualifiers than content.
(b) this is not necessarily things cis men do but rather things that are likely to exude man vibes on other body types.
(c) really this is going to make for a type of guy, probably the shorts and t-shirt kind — if you are seeking a refined gentleman I am Not The Guy I am not capable of being the guy etc
But here's a couple things
in general, you want to be wider, larger, more straight lines and triangles, and more intentional and self-assured
walking, posture, etc:
if you have wider hips, a narrow gait will create more sideways swaying and rotating of the hip which reads as feminine. step a little wider and translate the rotation into forward momentum. bend your knees more to absorb the force and lengthen your stride.
women generally squeeze their body together more rather than being expansive
push out your knees when sitting. feels weird and exposed for a bit and then it doesn't. hip external rotation is apparently in general a masculine trait. this also applies when standing. keep feet further apart and pointed slightly outwards.
keep your arms further away from your ribcage. try taking a deep breath into your chest such that your shoulders expand and let your elbows hang heavy when you exhale. something like that position.
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notice the hip external rotation on guy without tattoos, and the substantial internal rotation on the girls. tattooed guy is what I mean about the arms. the girls' arms are hugging the body.
also, I tried to find a good picture of a female pose with arms down. I couldn't. women keep their arms up wayy more than men.
try out leaning back when sitting, maybe spread your arm over the back of the chair. you don't want to do this all the time but it is another thing that makes you expansive and feels exposed if you're not used to it. becoming less uncomfortable with that feeling makes the general thing more natural
it is honestly my unqualified opinion that these things alone get you like 60+% of the vibes if you do them confidently
clothing:
masculinity-maxxing when you don't pass will not get you "man" it will get you "butch".
men tie their pants way lower than you expect. no, even lower
straight lines, triangles, structure 👍 other people have already done this better
but also, don't underestimate watches and shoes. the fashion fuckers are unfortunately not wrong on this one
speaking etc:
as previously mentioned, slower, more measured, but also shorter bouts, more intentional pauses.
the actual male customer service voice is probably salesman voice
most things are spoken relatively matter-of-factly. women ime are more likely to say things in a way that sounds/feels expectant of a reaction (including facial expressions and so on). masc men are more likely to speak statements. consider "heyyyy" vs "hey bro." basically adding a period at the end of your sentence lmao. doesn't have to be in a deathly serious way, just a self-assured "I have said my say"
this may be related or equal to the thing of women raising pitch at the end of a sentence? forgot the word
autistics are in luck — typical eye contact among women is much more intense and sustained ime. outside of flirting or other situations where you're trying to influence someone, men don't do it that much. also, formality unless you are in a ballgown is male-coded
you can be super serious, but frequent or even near-permanent humor is really common! if you can make a dad joke for every occasion you win tbh
The Head Nod as greeting 👍
I was very autistic about masc presentation for a while (in the sense of studying people and turning subtle implicit things into explicit steps I can emulate) so there's probably a pretty effective guide I could offer. but it would perhaps be frowned upon in the vein of people being upset that there used to be advice for passing that included being very serious etc. but like imo it's information of the form "X thing seems to have Y effect". you do not have to want Y effect and there may be other ways of obtaining it even if you do. it is just descriptive
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rielzero · 3 years ago
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Why, Deviantart?
I’ve used the platform for quite few years of my life, but its baffled me and confused me why so many of its essential features are blocked behind a paywall.
The following are free on various other social media:
-Change of username (with a time period block to prevent you from changing it again for a while)
-Profile customization
-Scheduling your posts
-Making folders / extra pages within your account (in DA’s case, gallery folders.)
These are all Core features. Meaning you have to buy a subscription for these.
Some other stuff that peeves me:
-It doesn’t have the ability to Block users from chat messaging you with a ‘’mutuals only’’ or the ability to disable chat messenger entirely; its non existent. The only way to prevent people from messaging you with chat is to block them 100%. Which is annoying. Just because I have +watchers doesn’t mean I want them to contact or bug me in chat messenger. It’s really scary and feels invasive, it’s also hella broken and painful on my eyes. If you don’t mute the messenger, it also pops up while browsing. Maybe its hard to explain, but this is anxiety inducing, esp if you don’t want strangers to direct message you. Notes feel more at a distance.
-The fact that notes have been buried in the back, while they’re still primarily used and preferred by a lot of people. They’re not gone, but the website design makes it seem as if its irrelevant. 
-Promoting of weird new ‘’technology’’ constantly in journals, trying to make themselves look good while the majority of the comments always remains negative on these journals. At some point they should listen to critique.
-They removed paypal from subscription payments, but not from the points store. This makes buying core with paypal super expensive. And you’ll also always be left with extra points you probably will never use.
-They don’t give you the option to make a 1-time off payment for core. They always lock you into that ‘’automatic renewal’’ system, honestly. Allow people to opt out WHILE BUYING. It’s like you’re expecting people to be forgetful, so you can withdraw when the day hits, and force them to go through the trouble to ask for a refund. After you buy core (somehow) you have to go into your settings to disabled automatic renewal. Beats me why they force you to take extra steps.
-Same old ‘’write’’ bugs. I’ve always noticed how sometimes the writing system bugs out when im writing a comment and editting it. The text suddenly pastes in the beginning of the message, or deletes words as I’m writing some extra words in the earlier sentence.
-’’send me a chat message’’ pasted on your profile. Even if you have the thing muted, the website promotes the idea that anyone can direct message you. Any other social media knows how DMs can make people feel. Facebook? Block incoming messages from people not in your friendslist. Twitter? Ability to disable DMs, they won’t show up on your profile! Tumblr? I’m pretty sure you can disable them on tumblr as well.. If tumblr still has DMs?
The only pros currently..
-I kinda like the personal profile design, the header and the font.
-the Dark mode is nicer on my eyes than deviantart green ever was! I have a genetic issue where my eyes are very sensitive to colors. Especially light or bright ones, if there’s not enough contrast it can literally induce headaches.
-The adopt community there seems very stable for me.
-I’m more established there than anyone else. I don’t know how to comfortably use any other platforms.
That’s all I can think of currently.
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alolowrites · 4 years ago
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Creeps, Freaks, and Milkshakes
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Summary: Google Maps is usually pretty good with their directions. One night, you stumble upon a place where monsters exist beyond the imaginary folktale pages and movie screens. You’re a little scared, but at least the handsome bartender makes some delicious milkshakes. 
Author’s Note: I’m back with another story, and this time it is for Kurogiri! Inspiration came from this fabulous artwork by @/imjustanectoplasm. I had so much fun writing this story, and it’s my first one for Kurogiri. Hopefully I did him justice (if not im sorry :( )
Word Count: 1K+
Tip Jar
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The entrance bell chimes above your head.
You glance at your phone and then back up; your brows furrow in suspicion. Google Maps says this is your destination, but something is not right. The place doesn’t resemble any of the pictures you saw online. Plus, you can’t find Nemuri anywhere despite her sending a text saying she arrived. You frown when none of your messages go through. Either your phone service sucks, or this place has some shitty signal. Knowing your luck, it’s probably the former.
Soft laughter echoes into the air. Your eyes roam around the milkshake shop and suddenly feel out of place. Everyone is wearing their…costumes? Sure it’s October, but Halloween is still two weeks away. Yet, here you are completely underdressed while some customers sport some impressive outfits.
A man is dressed as a vampire; his fangs are dangerously sharp, and his black cape flutters elegantly behind him. He sips on a drink that looks almost like fresh blood. Two seats down are a pair of ugly goblins with long, pointed ears and mischievous demon eyes. They slobber down their ooey-gooey vomit milkshakes, banging loudly on the table.
Sitting at the far-left corner booth is a group of clowns. They are not like the friendly clowns you see at the circus. Their creepy smiles and long, razor-like fingernails could make any adult scream in terror. You jump when a clown snaps his terrifying gaze on you. The sinister smile grows as though he found his next victim.  
Oh, hell no!
You stumble backward until you lose balance. A gentle hand grabs your arm before you could fall on the black-and-white checkered floor.
“Are you alright, miss?”
“Yeah, I’m fine! Thanks for—” your eyes bulge out in shock when you glance at your hero “—helping me…”
“Please, take a seat here,” he guides you to the retro diner barstool. His deep voice is oddly comforting despite not seeing a mouth. Does he even have one? Better yet, does he have a face? Only his tuscan sun eyes—shaped like slits—are visible; they are warm and kind, unlike the frightening clown whose eyes will forever haunt you in your nightmares. Guess you won't sleep tonight.
“Would you like a drink?”
“Huh?”
“A milkshake? Here,” he slips a menu your way. You skim through the options and arch an eyebrow. Caramel Camel Spider, Sugar Eyed Toad, The Bloody Hemorrhage—the names get weirder as you read on, and the descriptions are equally disgusting. “See anything you like?”
“These drinks are…something,” you gasp out an awkward laugh, averting your gaze from his purple mist face. You peek at his name tag that reads Kurogiri. The name suits him very well. “Do you happen to have a vanilla milkshake?”
“Of course,” he nods and starts making your order. As he walks away, you whip out your phone to contact Nemuri. None of your messages go through. However, a small detail catches your eye—the time hasn’t changed; it’s frozen at 9:47pm. You try not to panic when Kurogiri comes back with your drink. “Here you go, miss.”
“Thank you.”
“So,” Kurogiri wipes down some empty glass cups. You take small sips as if testing the waters (or tasting for poison). He chuckles when you hum in delight. “I take it you’re not from here.”
You smile shyly, “No, I’m not.”
“Well, it’s always nice to see humans visit my shop every now and then.”
You blink when his words sink in. “What gave it away?”
“Your milkshake order,” he leans forward and sends a cheeky wink, making your heart flutter. “Everyone else here prefers the more grotesque drinks. However, I do serve regular milkshakes just in case humans stop by. The supernatural barrier becomes weak in October, which might explain why you’re here.”
Kurogiri waves goodbye to a fellow customer while fixing a dessert plate. Everything starts making sense in this bizarre yet lively diner. You accidentally stumbled into a world where freakish monsters exist beyond the imaginary folktale pages and movie screens—no wonder you feel like a fish out of water.
“And here I thought Halloween started early,” you humor him, sharing a laugh together. This isn’t so bad, you think as your posture finally relaxes. An upbeat song plays from the jukebox and fills the air with good vibes. It doesn’t feel as though you’re sitting in a room full of monsters who can kill you at any moment.
You peek over your shoulders. The creepy clown continues to stare at you; he gives a chilling wave. You whip around and grip your vanilla milkshake. Okay, perhaps one monster might kill you.  
“Don’t worry about Pogo; he doesn’t mean any harm.”
“Sure doesn’t feel that way.”
“He probably finds you beautiful,” Kurogiri comments, pouring out a slimy green substance into a large cup. Two eyeballs garnish the drink, and one of them blinks. He hands the order to a waiter who floats away. “With a captivating face like yours, I’m not surprised.”
“I guess your milkshakes aren’t the only things that are sweet around here,” you twirl the straw as your cheeks burn at his compliment. Kurogiri is smooth and charming without even trying. It’s a shame he doesn’t exist in your world. You would go out with him in a heartbeat. You’ll just have to make the most of it for now.
Only you remember about Nemuri. She must be so worried.
“Everything alright?”
“Yeah,” you fish for your wallet. Does Kurogiri even take human money? You wouldn’t know since he shakes his head. A gentle hand touches your wrist to stop you, and butterflies swarm inside your stomach. You stare at him with flustered eyes.
“It’s on the house—my treat.”
“Oh, thank you,” Kurogiri pulls his hand away, ever so slowly. You clear your throat despite feeling like a blubbering mess inside. “Are you sure, though? There must be something I could give or do.”
“Perhaps you could join me for a walk?” Kurogiri unties the white apron and straightens his red bowtie. You perk up at the suggestion. “I would hate for you to get lost while finding your way back home.”  
“That sounds lovely.”
Delicious milkshakes and excellent customer service?
You definitely plan on coming back very soon.
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Thank you for reading!
Spooky Season 2020 Masterlist
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whenimaunicorn · 5 years ago
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The Heart of Admiration
Black Sails Fic: Charles Vane x Reader
Drabble combining two requests: “Imagine the moment Charles Vane realizes he’s fallen for you” and “ Vane falls for a highly competent female pirate, maybe from a rival crew? Maybe some mutual pining before they get together?”
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There it is. That way you bite your lip, when you pause to consider your next words. That plump little lip bounces free as you take a breath to answer Jack’s question, and Vane feels his body warm. That must be the reason he’s so drawn to you.
“But the manufactured items are harder to fence,” you’re telling Jack now, your fine brows knitting together adorably as you haggle with the Ranger’s quartermaster. “So despite what you’re saying about the division of the plunder, the value is not in fact equal, not in practice, because the factory stamps make them easier to trace. Especially the silverware. My contacts don’t pay well for that sort of trouble, those that would even take them at all.”
You’re smart, too. Captain Fisher was quite fortunate to have landed you as his quartermaster, Vane muses as he nurses his ale, running his thumb back and forth across the edge of his cup. It’s always a pleasure to listen to you negotiate. Perhaps you’re even the reason why Vane agreed to work with your crew on this job in the first place.
Not that his own quartermaster isn’t quick-witted, too. “Melt down the bloody silver then,” Jack snaps at your quibbling.
“Another expense,” you retort, “see what I mean?” You sit back, adjusting your coat. The brocade is quite fetching, and flatters you well as you lean arrogantly on one jaunty elbow. Just feminine enough to stir a man’s loins, but there’s nothing that looks weak about you. Vane knows that’s something that draws him to you, too. “We’ll take the tobacco, instead. Easy enough to ‘damage’ the customs stamps.”
Jack scowls. Vane has half a mind to lift you into his lap right here, though he knows you’d strike him directly across the face for it. And probably try to call off the whole deal, at that.
Not that you’re negotiating from a position of strength. “Why should we give you the more profitable portion of the take?” Vane asks, leaning forward and regarding you from under his brow. He sees your eyes widen for just a moment after they meet his. He’s not sure what the reaction means, but it’s something, and Vane thrills at having the power to shake you. “We were the ones that emptied our hold to haul it all back. A rushed job, that wasn’t without loss of value.”
You take a deep breath before answering him, your breasts swelling tight and high above your corset. God, his palms are just itching to cover them and then make you do that again. “That,” you arch one perfect brow, “is not my problem. You have the bigger ship, it made sense that you would carry the plunder back to Nassau, but we have just as many guns as you, and just as many fighters.”
“Is that a threat?” Vane growls. Not because he’s truly feeling belligerent, mostly just because he enjoys riling you up.
“Charles, please,” Jack interrupts with placating hands, before you can respond to the escalation with more than a dark flash of your eyes. “Two against one is hardly sporting, for a civilized negotiation such as the one we are having right here. Why don’t we just order another round, and wait for Captain Fisher to arrive.” One expressive eyebrow raised, he flashes a look at you. “Your captain is joining us, is he not?”
Vane barely suppresses a shark’s smile. Everyone here knows that your captain is currently otherwise engaged. Though, outmaneuvered little thing that you are, you do not know that Jack and Vane are already wise to the reason for your captain’s absence, and have already taken measures. All Vane is waiting for now is a signal from his men.
“Of course,” you say in a clipped tone. “I can’t imagine what the delay might be.” Your eyes flit from Jack to Vane and back again. “Shall I go fetch him?”
You start to rise and Vane’s hand shoots out, clamping your wrist into the table. “No need for that, love.” He holds on a little longer than is necessary, even as you sit back down. He finds that he is both aroused and ashamed at his ability to make you nervous. If he wants a woman, he wants to conquer her, but some small voice inside him is whispering that with you, this should not be the way. He lets your hand go. “We can negotiate without him.”
You fix him with a level look, gathering your confidence as your posture straightens before him again. You nod. "What I was saying was, regardless of the larger size of your ship and the logistical consequences on the cargo storage, we were equal partners in the take. I am simply making certain we are compensated as such. The Ranger would not have been able to subdue the merchant’s escort without us.” There’s that fire in your belly again. That, that’s what it really is, Vane muses as he watches your lips form hot words. The reason that he cannot stop thinking of you at night. “Which brings me to my next point: adjusting the shares based on my crew’s heavier losses.”
Jack’s brows knit together again. “Are you suggesting we should be creating something other than an equal split now, after the job is already done?” He looks to his captain for support.
Vane sits back, taking a long pull off his tankard of ale. None of this matters anyway, not if Jack’s hunch about Captain Fisher turns out to be right. And look, there’s his man now, giving him the high sign from the doorway of the tavern. Vane stands up abruptly, letting his body crowd your personal space. “Let’s take a walk, shall we? And then we’ll come back to the idea of what kind of shares your crew deserves.”
He looks down to see the blood draining from your face as you follow his eye to the ugly grin on his crewman’s face. He offers you his arm, and you have no choice but to take it.
“Don’t be afraid, dove,” he says as he marches you to the front door, though he regrets the condescension of the pet name instantly. You are much more than a shivering bird. “Jack and I are open to striking up new negotiations with you, personally. Your captain, however…” he trails off as the two of you step out into the street, Jack close behind. Several of the Ranger’s best men have your captain held between them, his bloodied head drooping in defeat.
“Caught ‘im and his crew sneaking onto the Ranger, Captain,” Vane’s man reports. “Just like you said.”
Captain Fisher coughs, a wet and ugly sound that suggest internal damage. Vane smirks at the justice of that, and turns to you.
You are scowling up at him, that delicious lip thrust out in a last defiant effort. “Couldn’t let you hold all the chips while we quibbled over how they’d be split up,” you explain. There is very little remorse in your voice. “The captain was only attempting to secure our fair share.”
Vane presses a hand to his heart, pretending to feel a wound. “You didn’t think you could trust me?” He had already told himself it didn’t hurt, hours ago when he had figured out what you crew was up to. Why should you behave any differently than anyone he had ever met? You were only protecting your own, as any good leader should. His grip on your arm tightens.
“We were, in point of fact, going to deal fairly with you,” Jack interposes. The anger is showing on his face as well. “But now…”
“Now you get the monster you were expecting,” Vane finishes for him, voice low, purring over the rage that always feels so good to indulge. He nods toward his men. “Kill everyone that was caught boarding our ship. Don’t make a scene, but don’t take too long with it. Then board the Starling and seize her. No one takes over Fisher’s crew. The men that are left will have to find work elsewhere.”
Vane sees real fear in your eyes now. You swallow it, and face him calmly. “Am I to die too?”
Your bravery. Your spirit. Perhaps that, that is what is at the heart of his admiration for you. Warmth tempers the high of Vane’s rage, the spiraling emotions conspiring into a rushing feeling he hopes will never end.
“I believe there is room to talk about that,” Jack says to you, stepping closer and making Vane realize you two have been locking eyes without speaking for a potentially awkward length of time. “Seeing as your attempt to distract us with a false negotiation here in this tavern did not, in fact, distract or mislead us at all, given that we were wise to the ploy all along, a case could be made that you have not, in fact, done us any ill that must be answered.”
You tear your eyes away from Vane’s to regard Jack with suspicion. “Why?” Your voice is sharp and true. Shrewd even when others would be begging and desperate. What a woman Vane has found in you.
“Join us,” Vane blurts, feeling like his tongue is tripping over his heavy need for you to say yes. “You deserve a better crew than that one.”
Part Two
Black Sails Masterlist
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patriotsnet · 3 years ago
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Why Do Republicans Hate Gay People
New Post has been published on https://www.patriotsnet.com/why-do-republicans-hate-gay-people/
Why Do Republicans Hate Gay People
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Presidency Of George W Bush
George W. Bush did not repeal President Clinton’s Executive Order banning discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation in the federal civilian government, but Bush’s critics felt as if he failed to enforce the executive order. He retained Clinton’s Office of National AIDS Policy and was the first Republican president to appoint an openly man to serve in his administration, Scott Evertz as director of the Office of National AIDS Policy. Bush also became the second President, after President Clinton, to select openly gay appointees to his administration. Bush’s nominee as ambassador to Romania, Michael E. Guest, became the second openly gay man U.S. Ambassador and the first to be confirmed by the Senate. He did not repeal any of the spousal benefits that Clinton had introduced for same-sex federal employees. He did not attempt to repeal Don’t ask, don’t tell, nor make an effort to change it.
In April 2002, White House officials held an unannounced briefing in April for the Log Cabin Republicans. On June 27, 2002, President Bush has signed a bill allowing death benefits to be paid to domestic partners of firefighters and police officers who die in the line of duty, permanently extending a federal death benefit to same-sex couples for the first time.
The 2004 Republican Party platform removed both parts of that language from the platform and stated that the party supports anti-discrimination legislation.
Two Reasons Why The Bathroom Bill Targeting Trans People Is Flawed
We believe this bill is flawed for two reasons. First, as conservatives who believe in liberty and in supporting small businesses, we do not think that government should single out businesses for special public censure if they do not enforce the governments current social views.
Americans are still sorting out how they feel about trans people and how they can be tolerant or hospitable neighbors even if they disagree. Government should not use private businesses as pawns in an ongoing culture war, especially with something as private as their customers genitalia.
Second, the bill is counterproductive. We understand that the legislature wants to give parents peace of mind that their daughters will not use the same restroom as biological males. Parents want to make sure their kids are safe this is a completely reasonable concern. But forcing trans women to use the same restroom as young boys can be more disturbing and disruptive to businesses.
Hear more Tennessee Voices:
Dads: imagine walking into the mens room with your son and seeing Caitlyn Jenner, in a dress, fixing her makeup.
More disturbing still is when trans men who are far along in their transition  people who look, act, and identify as male  must use the same restroom as young girls.
More:Tennessee Voices, Episode 118: Chris Sanders, Tennessee Equality Project
The Fairness For All Act Is A Republican Response To The Equality Act
In March, House Democrats introduced the Equality Act, the first comprehensive LGBTQ civil rights bill to pass the House. While it has been stalled in the GOP-controlled Senate, it would provide sweeping non-discrimination protections for LGBTQ people in the US in housing, employment, public accommodations, education, and health care for the first time under federal law.
At the time, there were that some conservative groups were working on a compromise bill, and it appears the Fairness For All Act is that compromise.
A small coalition of religious conservative groups led by the American Unity Fund and including the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, Seventh-day Adventist Church, 1st Amendment Partnership, Center for Public Justice, and Council for Christian Colleges and Universities have rallied behind the bill.
Im excited about the solutions that are embodied in the legislation, because I think that those are the exact ideas that were going to need to pass federal civil rights for LGBTQ people, said Tyler Deaton, senior adviser at the American Unity Fund.
The Fairness For All Act would provide many of the same protections for LGBTQ Americans, but it also provides ample exceptions for churches and religious organizations to continue to discriminate against queer people.
What we like about it is the stated intentional desire for fairness and a proposed process that will encourage collaboration because weve seen that work in our state, he said.
Republicans May Begin To Embrace Gay Rights
As Republican National Chairman Reince Priebus pointed out, gay marriage and gay rights are platforms that a higher and higher percentage of Americans support. Priebus warns Republicans to be more open to other views on the issue, and less set in their ways. However, Republican strategist Ed Rogers points out the catch-22 in this situation. Most current Republicans still oppose gay marriage. Where 58 percent of Americans now support gay marriage, only 39 percent of Republicans support it, with 59 percent of Republicans opposing it. This leaves the Republican Party in a tough spot. They must either reform their views to bring in new members and gain support in coming elections, which would risk pushing away those that have stuck with the Party through the years, or stand by their age-old platform, and risk continuing to lose support throughout the nation.
The Disney Vault Is Annoying
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Disney has drawn the ire of many adoring fans because it only releases its movies to the public for home consumption for a limited amount of time. They even coined a term for this tactic, The Disney Vault. Audiences think this is corporate greed at its ugliest. Disney has a commodity, and they try to build fervor and revenue by only letting the consumer have access to it for a short period. Its basically the same business model McDonalds uses with the McRib and we all know how much everyone hates that. Can you imagine if the Star Wars movies were only sold periodically? Thatd be an outrage, right? Well, you can expect it to happen since Disney bought the rights in 2012 to all things Star Wars, from George Lucas for over $4 billion. Its no wonder why Disney movies have been pirated since VCRs came on the scene in the 1980s.
American Views Of Transgender People: The Impact Of Politics Personal Contact And Religion
As the Supreme Court examines cases it has already heard this term about the rights of gay and transgender people, the American public in the latest Economist/YouGov poll are for the most part tolerant and supportive of transgender employment rights. However, Republicans take different positions.
The overall public supports laws prohibiting discrimination in hiring and employment on the basis of sexual orientation and gender identity, with Republicans closely divided.
More than one in three people know someone who is transgender, and the probability of this is even higher among Democrats and younger adults. Those with personal contact are more likely to believe there is a great deal or a fair amount of discrimination against transgender people. Half of Republicans and 88 percent of Democrats say there is a fair amount or a great deal of discrimination against transgender people.
One in five adults believes employers should be able to fire transgender workers who wear work clothes that match their gender identity. About three times that percentage disagree. Republicans are more closely divided on this question: a third say employers should be able to fire those employees, while 44 percent say that should not be allowed.
There appears to be greater acceptance of female to male transitions than male to female ones. Men generally accept a female to male as male , but also believe that someone transitioning male to female is still male .
Image: Getty 
Here’s Where We Stand On Different Lgbt Issues
LGBT leftists tend to hate us because we put our principles first. We believe in religious liberty, free speech, God-given human dignity, limited government, and economic opportunity. 
For that reason we frequently oppose radical gender theory and leftist policies like the Equality Act. We support a nuanced, science-based approach to transgender policy issues. 
We recently spoke out in support of the legislature’s initiative to keep youth sports organized according to biological sex we find the effort to let biological males play girls’ sports anti-science and offensive.
As a result of stances like these, LGBT leftists regularly picket us, ban us, destroy our property, and call us ugly names.
Recently, our entire leadership team was kicked out of Nashvilles primary LGBT networking Facebook group, in contravention of that groups written rules, because the admins hated us.
We hope this background demonstrates our conservative bona fides. If we oppose a Republican LGBT bill, it is out of principle, not identity politics or blind devotion to those in the LGBT community who reject us. We were not asked to comment on the bill before it was passed, but we feel we would be remiss not to offer our perspective.
More:Tennessee’s anti-LGBTQ bills target vulnerable citizens who are worthy of dignity | Plazas
Views On Religion Its Role In Policy
When it comes to religion and morality, most Americans say that belief in God is not necessary in order to be moral and have good values; 42% say it is necessary to believe in God in order to be moral and have good values.
The share of the public that says belief in God is not morally necessary has edged higher over the past six years. In 2011, about as many said it was necessary to believe in God to be a moral person as said it was not . This shift in attitudes has been accompanied by a rise in the share of Americans who do not identify with any organized religion.
Republicans are roughly divided over whether belief in God is necessary to be moral , little changed over the 15 years since the Center first asked the question. But the share of Democrats who say belief in God is not a condition for morality has increased over this period.
About two-thirds of Democrats and Democratic leaners say it is not necessary to believe in God in order to be moral and have good values, up from 51% who said this in 2011.
The growing partisan divide on this question parallels the widening partisan gap in religious affiliation.
About six-in-ten whites think belief in God is not necessary in order to be a moral person. By contrast, roughly six-in-ten blacks and 55% of Hispanics say believing in God is a necessary part of being a moral person with good values.
International AffairsEconomic ConditionsTrust, Facts & DemocracyClimate, Energy & EnvironmentRace & EthnicitySame-Sex Marriage
Lgbt Conservatism In The United States
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LGBT conservatism in the United States is a social and political ideology within the community that largely aligns with the American conservative movement. LGBT conservatism is generally more moderate on social issues from social conservatism, instead emphasizing values associated with fiscal conservatism, libertarian conservatism, and .
Changing Views On Acceptance Of Homosexuality
Seven-in-ten now say homosexuality should be accepted by society, compared with just 24% who say it should be discouraged by society. The share saying homosexuality should be accepted by society is up 7 percentage points in the past year and up 19 points from 11 years ago.
Growing acceptance of homosexuality has paralleled an increase in public support for same-sex marriage. About six-in-ten Americans now say they favor allowing gays and lesbians to marry legally.
While there has been an increase in acceptance of homosexuality across all partisan and demographic groups, Democrats remain more likely than Republicans to say homosexuality should be accepted by society.
Overall, 83% of Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents say homosexuality should be accepted by society, while only 13% say it should be discouraged. The share of Democrats who say homosexuality should be accepted by society is up 20 points since 2006 and up from 54% who held this view in 1994.
Among Republicans and Republican leaners, more say homosexuality should be accepted than discouraged by society. This is the first time a majority of Republicans have said homosexuality should be accepted by society in Pew Research Center surveys dating to 1994. Ten years ago, just 35% of Republicans held this view, little different than the 38% who said this in 1994.
Acceptance is greater among those with postgraduate and bachelors degrees than among those with some or no college experience .
Reasons Why Conservatives Hate Democrats
November 5, 2014 by Samuel WardeNo Comments
20 Reasons Why Conservatives Hate Democrats
1. Democrats believe in higher education.2. Democrats believe in preserving the environment.3. Democrats believe in science.4. Democrats believe that carbon dioxide is dangerous.5. Democrats do not believe that minimum wage created our nations unemployment.
6. Democrats do not believe armed rebellion is a viable alternative to elections.7. Democrats do not believe that corporations are people too.8. Democrats do not believe that the sexual revolution created AIDS.9. Democrats do not know the proper height for trees.10. Democrats do not understand decent God-fearing Americans need missile launchers at home.
11. Democrats do not understand that banning abortions for high risk pregnancies can be a positive experience for women.12. Democrats do not understand that intelligent design is a proven scientific theory.13. Democrats do not understand that marriage is related to national security.14. Democrats do not understand that the media is a threat to national security.15. Democrats forgot that Hitler coined the phrase separation of church and state.
16. Democrats seem oblivious to the fact that most good Americans oppose gay marriage.17. Democrats seldom bring guns to crowded public events.18. Democrats want to force innocent multi-millionaires to pay taxes.19. Democrats want to let gays vote.20. Democrats want to let immigrants vote.
Log Cabins Better Record On Gay Issues
While Stonewall was cheerleading Obamas do-nothing Democrats, Log Cabin sued the government to kill DADT. In 2010, Log Cabin won an injunction preventing the administration from enforcing DADT. Only after fighting that injunction, and losing, did Obama finally repeal the law.
Log Cabin has also withheld its endorsement from high-profile Republican candidates who opposed marriage equality unlike Stonewall, we resist partisan groupthink, even when it costs us. We wouldnt be endorsing President Trump in 2020 if he werent truly an ally.
Trump openly supported LGBT equality before any of Stonewalls endorsees did. In 1999, while Democrats defended DADT, Trump opined that gays and lesbians serving openly was not something that would disturb me. In 2000, Trump proposed an amendment of civil rights law to ban discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation, which would have rendered moot the employment discrimination case currently before the Supreme Court.
In 2015, though Trump needed religious conservative votes to win the Republican primary, he nevertheless stated publicly that religious freedom and LGBT rights are not mutually exclusive. He even rebuked his running mate-to-be, Mike Pence, for initially undervaluing LGBT interests in Indianas Religious Freedom Restoration Act, on which Pence ultimately reversed. Today, President Trump still has our back.
Stonewall Incorrectly Attacks President Trump
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Stonewalls article censures Russia for orchestrating an industrial-scale genocide of gay men in Chechnya. Russias behavior is indeed alarming. So President Trump, collaborating with his Ambassador to Germany Richard Grenell, has launched a historic initiative to decriminalize homosexuality worldwide. Basham conveniently omits this fact.
Stonewall calls Trumps plan to reduce HIV/AIDS transmission by 90 percent within 10 years lip service because HIV+ immigrants crossing the U.S.-Mexico border are separated from other immigrants. But this policy is intended to provide HIV+ immigrants, some of whom face untreated AIDS, with needed medical care. Stonewall also neglects to mention that Trumps budget included $291 million to fight HIV in 2020 alone. Trump also convinced the antiviral research group Gilead to donate billions of dollars of HIV prevention medication for 200,000 people. That is hardly lip service.
Stonewall further insinuates, ludicrously, that Trump is bigoted for halting Obama-era attempts to tell public schools which bathroom transgender students can use. We say, good: The well-being of children who do not identify with their biological sex is vitally important, but it does not fall under the originally intended purview of Title IX and would thus be better explored at the state and local level without federal intervention. Executive overreach in the name of LGBT rights does nothing to recommend our cause.
Relies On Star Power Not Plotlines
Back in the day, Disney movies sold themselves because their plots were incredible. They showcased fairytales and chronicled the rise of the underdog. This worked in Disneys animated and live-action movies, and the company was untouchable for decades. Then, they had a string of flops like Mulan, Pocahontas and Hercules. Suddenly, Disney was fallible. So, instead of hiring better writers, they took the easy way out they started to hire big name talent to headline its projects. And they havent looked back. Disney has hired giants in the film industry to voice its characters, like Miley Cyrus and . And of course, Disney puts the most popular celebs in its live action movies, like Johnny Depp and Angelina Jolie.
Disney even has upcoming projects with Emma Stone, Reese Witherspoon and Emma Watson. But what good is it to have a big star in a movie if the plot is weak? The only good thing about this change in direction is that it finally steered Disney away from cramming cultural sensitivity down everyones throats. There was a period of time when it made sure to give every minority group its own movie, from Hawaiians in Lilo and Stitch to African Americans in The Princess and the Frog. Audiences perceived this to be the pandering that it was.
How Out Of Step Is The Republican Party On Gay Rights
The wedding wasnt the only reason conservatives targeted Rep. Denver Riggleman in a party convention , but it was the driving one. Which raises the question: How out of step with the nation is the Republican Party on same-sex rights?
Its an especially pertinent question on Monday, now that the Supreme Court, with the support of one of President Trumps nominees, just voted 6-3 that existing federal law protects gay and transgender workers from discrimination based on sex.
Thats a sea change in the legal landscape of protections for LGBTQ Americans. Before this ruling, in about half of the states, you could be legally fired for being gay or transgender. Now, you cant under the 1964 Civil Rights Act, which the court ruled extends to LGBTQ Americans because it prevents discrimination on the basis of sex.
But like the Republican voters in Virginia who ousted Riggleman in favor of social conservative Bob Good, there is an active wing of the Republican Party seeking to push back on the march toward expanding legal protections for gay and transgender Americans. And they have powerful allies.
The Trump administration opposed interpreting the Civil Rights Act to encompass LGBTQ workers. The leader of the conservative Judicial Crisis Network called the six justices who supported this ruling, one of whom was Trump appointee Neil M. Gorsuch, activists, implying the court got ahead of where the public is on the issue.
Emily Guskin contributed to this report.
Mike Pence Accidentally Admits The Real Reason Republicans Hate Democrats So Much
Common Dreams
The grassroots organization People for Bernie on Tuesday advised the Democratic Party to take a page from an unlikely sourceright-wing Vice President Mike Penceafter Pence told a rally crowd in Florida that progressives and Democrats “want to make rich people poorer, and poor people more comfortable.”
“Good message,” tweeted the group, alerting the Democratic National Committee to adopt the vice president’s simple, straightforward description of how the party can prioritize working people over corporations and the rich.
Suggesting that a progressive approach to the economy will harm the countrydespite the fact that other wealthy nations already invest heavily in making low- and middle-income “more comfortable” by taxing corporations and very high earnersPence touted the Republicans’ aim to “cut taxes” and “roll back regulations.”
The vice president didn’t mention how the Trump administration’s 2017 tax cuts overwhelmingly benefited wealthy households and powerful corporations, with corporate income tax rates slashed from 35% to 21%, corporate tax revenues plummeting, and a surge in stock buybacks while workers saw “no discernible wage increase” according to a report released last year by the Economic Policy Institute and the Center for Popular Democracy.
Pence’s description of progressive goals was “exactly” correct, author and commentator Anand Giridharadas tweeted.
“Yes, and what’s wrong with making poor people more comfortable?” asked Rep. Ilhan Omar .
Gw College Republicans Invite Log Cabin Republicans And Lgbt Conservatives To Talk About What It Means To Be Gay And Conservative
Kicking off a discussion on the inclusion of LGBT people in the Republican Party, Charles Moran, the managing director of the conservative gay group the Log Cabin Republicans, told George Washington University students that they dont have to be a Democrat because youre gay.
The forum at the Marvin Center Amphitheater Tuesday night, hosted by GW College Republicans, brought together what Josh Kutner, director of political affairs for the group, described as an all-star panel of Republican and conservative political and media consultants: Dave McCulloch, managing partner at Capitol Media Partners; Brad Polumbo, an editor and columnist at The Washington Examiner; and Edith Jorge-Tunon, political director for the Republican State Leadership Committee.
Mr. Moran, who has 14 years of experience managing local and national Republican political races, started the discussion by asking panelists to explain how they came out as conservative and where they fit on the conservative spectrum.
Mr. Polumbo said he realized he was a conservative when he was dropped into the liberal bastion of the University of Massachusetts and wound up persona non grata in the gay community.
A Rand Paul libertarian and technically not a Republican, he said, I definitely have a very right-wing philosophy. I am more than willing to punch at both sides.
Live your life honestly, Mr. Moran advised. Be present. Share and be aware. Accept them for who they are and who they are not.
We’re Portrayed As A Perversion
From the left, right, and even a few biased researchers, people accuse transgender people of being perverts, fetishists, and likely rapists. This is in great part why the right-wing tactics against non-discrimination ordinances have been so successful: the right wing tells people that it’s a choice between protecting their wives and daughters or a tiny group of perverts.
Many Trump Supporters Are Lgbt
So Stonewall is wrong. But something more important is going on here. What really infuriates Basham is that Log Cabin has given cover for the presidents claim that some of biggest supporters are LGBT. As if saying so were a crime Trump commits in secrecy while his fabulous gay accomplices at Log Cabin run interference. But its just a fact: Many of Trumps most fervent supporters are LGBT people.
Left-wing gay activists, however, depend on creating the impression that all LGBT people are Democrats. Democrats then use this false narrative to consolidate unearned moral authority. That is why, when the prominent gay billionaire Peter Thiel expressed support for Trump, The Advocate promptly ran a piece arguing he isnt actually gay he just has sex with men.
The point of such chicanery is to insinuate that all Republicans are homophobes, and all homophobes are Republicans. That only works if Democrats speak for all gays. So just one prominent gay or trans Republican punctures the lie that the left has a monopoly on gay rights.
Log Cabin Republicans stand to disabuse the public of that lie. The Stonewall Democrats dont want you to know we exist. But we do, our ideas are better than theirs, and were not going anywhere.
Trans Rights: A Perplexing Issue
Like many other gay conservatives, however, he seems to disconnect gay rights and transgender rights. Kabel recalled a recent article with a quotation from the conservative activist Tony Perkins that contrasted the Democratic and Republican platforms in 2016.
“The only issue Perkins raised was the transgender bathroom issue,” Kabel said. “And I thought, ‘That means we won.'”
Kabel called transgender equality “one of the most perplexing issues going.”
“Transgender people deserve support and protection just like anybody else, but it’s a very complex issue,” he said. “It’s remarkable when you hear their stories, but it’s just a very perplexing issue about how to really address it and do it so that they’re protected but other people aren’t hurt, so that people’s religious views are actually taken into consideration.”
Transgender visibility is all but absent in the Log Cabin Republicans, from their leadership to their messaging.
An OUTSpoken Instagram post compares the LGBT left to the LGBT right by putting an image of a person who appears to be transgender or gender-nonconforming next to a shirtless picture of former U.S. Rep. Aaron Schock, while the campaigns store sells T-shirts bearing slogans like “gay for Tucker” “gay for Melania” and “gay not stupid.
OUTspoken sent Brokeback Patriot, who has stated trans women are not women, to New Orleans Southern Decadence party to ask passersby if they think Trump is pro-gay.
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rhaenyratargeryn · 4 years ago
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31 Days of Wayhaven
Prompt: Day 5, Moon Pairing: Adam du Mortain x f!detective Summary: Unit Bravo and the detective visit the local Halloween bonfire and things (oh god im gonna say it) HEAT UP between the detective and the commanding agent. Come and get ya pining juice. Notes: The idea is that Adam and the detective are KINDA in a relationship by now. They have definitely kissed and then promptly never discussed it. So yeah. By Adam’s standards they are practically engaged. Ao3 link
Meadow Outside Wayhaven, October 31. Halloween Night.
Even from their place atop the far hill overlooking the meadow, the light from the roaring bonfire was visible, casting an orange glow across the dark field, only stopping where the milk-light of the moon blended it out from pastel to pale silver.
The moon was full this year and would be all the way unto November 1st. The veil between the worlds was already thin around this season, for reasons the Agency had yet to divine, and the presence of the moon served to even further part the rifts.
It was as much a holiday for the humans of Wayhaven as it was for the inhumans. A time where they could more readily slip their glamor and live openly… though as Adam painted it, few took such a risk. Unit Bravo was on patrol, even tonight of all nights, but it was a half-hearted one as even Adam had come to sit as near to her as he would allow.
Farah was down among the people, mingling with a growing entourage of admirers as she asked endless questions on their costumes and their customs— playing the “small town southern girl from the States” card enough to let any questions they might have slide. Nate was doing the lord's work, taking it upon himself to mingle with the Mayor alongside Rebecca, a task the detective was happy to relent.
Morgan… the detective couldn’t quite recall when she last saw Morgan, but most likely the solitude was doing the agent good as she kept up checking the perimeter away from the strong smell of burning wood and the chatter of people.
The detective shifted, fishing a rock out from beneath the soft flannel blanket she had spread out on the side of the small hill and chucking it away. When she resettled, she gingerly shifted closer to Adam, feeling more keenly the warmth coming from him when she did so.
“Are you cold?” Adam’s voice nearly startled a jump from her, his green eyes turned with concern to her, “You should have brought a thicker jacket.”
To be honest, she wasn’t that cold, not really.
“Yeah, kinda a weird balance between freezing and roasting out here.”
She hoped it was enough of a white lie that he wouldn’t sense the change in her pulse or her breathing. Could he even do that? God, she hoped he couldn’t do that.
Adam was silent for a moment, his attention going straight ahead again towards the flames. The tension in his body was hard to ignore and the reason for it obvious when the detective felt his arm brush slowly at her lower back. He kept his grip loose, but it was unmistakably there as Adam settled his arm around her waist. 
He seemed at a loss for what to do with his hand, so kept it balled into a slight fist and pressed at her side.
“Is… that better?”
No. Because now she was absolutely, most definitely combusting.
“Yes.”
Adam seemed satisfied because he did not press the subject further. In fact, he was doing his best to not appear to notice her at all, despite the fact she was fairly certain she was all he could notice by the way he was still holding unto so much tension in his shoulders. He seemed determined now to do his best not to move.
She noted to her annoyance, she had frozen up too. They were never going to get anywhere if every time they so much as touched they transformed into statues. The detective remembered at the carnival how she had leaned over and rested her head on Adam’s shoulder… how he had not drawn away and if anything he had softened beneath the touch. 
Maybe that would happen now? Or maybe it would send him scrambling away from her. There was only one way to find out and so, as tentatively as he had reached out around her, the detective slid herself flush against his side and let her head gently fall back against his shoulder.
It took everything in her to get her heart to quiet and her muscles to uncoil, taking in a deep breath and releasing it in a sigh… a very contented sigh at that. She had no idea where it had come from beneath the layers of anxiety and longing that often twisted in her when Adam was around. But then again, nothing terrible had happened, neither of them turned into monsters or burst into flames… Adam was holding her and the world, miraculously, was not ending.
Neither of them spoke. She felt Adam’s touch become more confident, the pressure firmer as his fingers uncoiled themselves from a fist and spread out on her hip. 
The detective wasn’t sure what possessed her to place her hand on top of his, a perfect smaller mirror, curling her fingers between his own. Just enough to guide them. 
And Adam was letting her.
The drag of his palm over the denim left a trail of heat that she could feel down to her skin. His hand a warm solid weight that now so easily came to rest on the side of her thigh. 
She heard him swallow, the sound catching her gaze as she turned slightly to see if she could make out his expression.
Warmth erupted from the top of her spine down to her core when she saw Adam was not looking away, he wasn’t even looking at her really, but at his hand on her. Icy green eyes were dazed, dream-like and far away. She felt his fingers flex, just barely kneading the softness of her thigh before he drew it back up and stroked down the length again in one slow, languid motion.
The detective’s hand was still on top of his, but she was doing nothing to guide him now.
Adam had moved his palm closer to her inner thigh, his thumb stretching out to rub a small circle at the furthest most point he could reach. There was absolutely no reason for her mouth to go dry and for her to feel the sharpest most delicious ache deep within her center. Just this tiny brush of contact, so far away and yet so close to where she really wanted him, needed him, was enough to make her breath catch in her throat and heat bloom on her cheeks.
“Woods are clear.”
Morgan’s voice sent a different kind of fire through the detective as she jolted nearly upright. Adam, to his credit, had let his arm go immediately lax, leaning back on his palms and all traces of the previous contact smoothly removed.
The detective noted, as he spoke, that her back still touched along his arm. He had moved, yes, but he was still touching her. A part of her demanded she read nothing into it and yet another, louder part of her demanded just the opposite.
“Good,” Adam said with a nod,,  “It seems to be setting out to be a quiet night. If you’d like to join the others, I can see no reason why you should not.”
Adam’s voice was curt, but it was nothing Morgan would find offensive. He had not turned to look at the other agent yet, so the detective risked a glance over his shoulder at Morgan now.
The positively shit eating grin the dark haired woman was wearing was enough to make the detectives own expression sour. She mouthed a silent but good natured fuck off Morgan’s way, which only made her grin wider as she pressed a cigarette to her lips and chuckled darkly.
“I think I’ll do that.” Morgan answered, to her or Adam, the detective couldn’t say.
And with that Morgan swaggered off down to the bonfire, accosted immediately by Farrah and her gaggle of admirers…. though judging by the way Morgan seemed to be sauntering closer to one such woman, that was probably part of her new evening plans.
Adam did not put his arm around her again, the detective doing her best to repress a pout. They sat in silence once more, but the detective noticed that the tension did not return, and, after a few lengths of a heartbeat… his arm slowly, but purposefully wrapped around her again.
“Tell me if you get too warm. I will move over.” He mumbled, trying and failing at playing off a disinterested and business like manner to his actions.
The detective couldn’t find it in herself to find fault with that, she was too busy getting comfortable once more, laying her head on his shoulder and smiling to herself as she did so.
“I’m freezing. Positively Arctic. Will be all night most likely.” She said, voice a perfect picture of bliss.
Adam’s own smile was faint.
“But do let me know if your arm falls asleep.” She added quickly.
“Would you even move if I did?”
“No, but I promise to feel really bad about it.”
“Considerate of you.” Adam chuckled, but did not protest her declaration. His warmth, the smell of his cologne, woods and spice and the smoke and heat from the bonfire beneath it all did as much to soothe her as it did to set her nerves aflame themselves. One day she promised to herself and to him, in the dark under the Samhain moon, she would feel those hands on her thighs again.
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paipayaseeds · 4 years ago
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aw, the blogs name is so cute! i also love the icon u chose hehe <33
i created an oc of sorts... mostly just design, name, and general personality... maybe i can characterize her a little bit more during the rp! apologies in advance for the long message, yikes! anyway...
her name is fumiko akiyama, the ultimate singer! she is quite short, probably around kokichi’s height, and is pretty lanky. her skin is also pretty pale, too. her hair is cut short, like a bob sorta thing (with the angled thing i hope that makes sense BAHSHDJAH) and has bangs. her hair is a pinkish-grey color and her outfit (bc danganronpa characters don’t ever change their clothes apparently JAJSHDHS) is consisted of mostly black with muted, pink accents. i was super inspired by ibuki’s beta design, so she wears a mask as well. i also like the idea of little bunny ears on the mask, which was inspired by the design of another anon’s oc, the ultimate graffiti artist!
i thought it was an interesting idea to incorporate some sort of ‘hidden identity’ to my character, too, so i came up with the reason why she doesn’t let people see her face. miko (omg i just came up with that nickname just now omg so cute wow) got into an accident when she was little, leaving her with only one eye, covered by a nasty scar. however, at the time, her mother was sort of forcing her into child beauty pageants and modeling agencies. when this happened, though, those places did not ‘accept’ her any longer. her mom was furious, she made all of her money with her beautiful girl, and because of her recklessness she couldn’t any longer. her mom wasn’t exactly the kindest before, but now she was even worse. she tormented her kid each and every day for her appearance, even making comments on other things such as her personality and habits. when she got injured, her mom also pulled her out of school and forced her into home-schooling. fumiko was completely isolated from everyone, and the one person she had contact with hated her. she would escape into her own little reality by listening to music, and would sing along with the songs to cope. she ended up becoming very talented, and is able to ‘manipulate’ her voice to fit any genre, since she had a surplus amount of time to practice. once fumiko was old enough to get a job, her mother kicked her out of the house. fumiko hadn’t even left her house for years at this point, and she was ashamed of being seen by all those strangers she’d have to come in contact with each day. she rummaged through her closet and found an old halloween mask, a rabbit mask. she put it on, taking her mp3 player, and left.
she ended up landing some gigs at some places, and that’s how she made her money. because she was able to do any genre, she became quite popular. eventually, she was producing her own music. throughout the years, she slowly started changing her mask, eventually customizing a gas mask to her liking. she kept the bunny ears, though. she didn’t want to forget her roots.
she has little to know social skills, and when she is talking, her voice is pretty monotone, actually. nobody would guess that she was the ultimate singer AJDNWHHDJ because she was stripped of a childhood, she is very touch-starved and sensitive... so you can keep that in mind for some fluff ;)
SO SORRY FOR THE LONG THING AHSJDHD i came up with this within a short amount of time so apologies if her character is a little bland or something idk all of the dr characters have childhood trauma so i had to make something up </3
if you don’t mind, would you be able to write the starter? i know you get a lot of messages, so just in case you forgot, it’s with shuichi during the killing game :> i’m excited, i hope you are too!
-teapot anon (who hasn’t made an oc since they were in elementary school)
WAIT OH MY GOD I LOVE THIS BACKSTORY SO MUCH ASHBHJADBDJSHAV AND MIKO!!!! THATS SO CUTE AGRGRUH IM GONNA PASS OUT-
seriously!! for an oc who you had just made up in such a short amount of time, it’s really really good!!! like, ahdbj omg its so good I'm sorry i love her so much—
AAAA DONT WORRY ABOUT IT BEING LONG!!! AND IM SO EXCITED IM SHAKING A BIT HOLY SDCVHSAJVSJHKVS
and i will definitely keep that in mind for fluff ;0
and yes!! Ill totally make the starter right now, I’ll make a reblog to this post and attach it! 
wAHHH IM SUPER EXCITED I CANT BREATHEHEEGTVFVAB
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sentient-stove · 4 years ago
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The Mishaps of Ladybug and Kuro Neko- Chapter 3
Fandoms: Miraculous Ladybug, Sanders Sides
Relationships: Patton & Roman, Roman & Virgil, Roman/Virgil (way down the line), Remus & Roman, Logan & Virgil, Janus & Marinette Dupain-Cheng  (More later)
Characters: Marinette Dupain-Cheng, Virgil Ito, Logan Ito, Patton Hart, Janus Dupain-Cheng, Roman Prince, Remus Prince, Tikki, other kwami
Summary:  It’s been almost fifty years since Marinette’s used a miraculous.  And unfortunately, someone’s stolen the butterfly and the peacock.So when the missing miraculous turn up in the US, she’s forced to hand out a new team of heroes, finally hanging up the mantle of ladybug forever.
Virgil did not sign up for a kwami(?) that’s obsessed with cheese curds.
Roman is ecstatic that he has the ladybug miraculous, after all, superheroes are cool!
Logan wants to live his life and avoid racial slurs, too bad the annoying ass heroes keep destroying his fucking bedroom.
Patton spends his time hero chasing, maybe he’ll get a super power one day too!
Janus is done™
Chapter Summary: First akuma!  Oh my....
Notes: hey, im back lmao.
AO3 |  Previous | Next
Logan was halfway out the door the next morning when the walls of the small apartment caved in.
Well, it was more of a smashed in actually and he was flung back into the apartment among the debris, head smacking against concrete and instantly dying upon impact.
And thus went Logan’s first experience with an akuma.  Unfortunately for him, it would not be the last time that he’d be killed by one.
Virgil was halfway to school when his phone buzzed with the only person that he actively followed on Twitter, some boy at his school who was obsessed with the old superheroes from years ago.
He pulled out his phone and looked at it, brain not comprehending for a moment.
Oh.
Virgil looked up at the sky and sighed.  “Fuck.”  
He looked around at the empty street and sighed, opening his slightly damp bag and looking down at the kwami inside.
“Hey, so um, claws out?”
Plagg looked up at him.  “No.”
“What?”  Virgil ducked into the side alley and slid to a sitting position on the dirty ground.  “I have to go do hero shit or something before Ladybug kills himself.”
Plagg sighed and flew out to point a tiny paw at him.  “You didn’t give me cheese.”
“I gave you some Ritz crackers!  You know that I’m lactose intolerant!”
“I want cheese curds.”
“I’d have to go to the fucking Wharf to get those!  They don’t make them here in California, that’s a Wisconsin thing!”
Plagg blew a raspberry at him and Virgil sighed.
“Fine, but I’m booking it to the Wharf and the second you have your damn cheese curds, I will transform.”
“Sounds good.”
Virgil stood, snatched the kwami out of thin air and stuffed him into his bag, shutting the flaps and booking it in the direction of Fisherman’s Wharf.  There were probably closer places selling the cheese, but Virgil really only could remember the one gourmet cheese shop that had opened two years ago there.
Not to mention, cheese curds were disgusting.  They just tasted like plastic to him.   Virgil skidded around a corner and almost ran into a businessman who was talking to someone on a phone.  The man yelled an insult that Virgil ignored as he crossed the street, almost getting KO’d by a car.
Yeah, he didn’t really have a sense of self preservation.  He made it to the Wharf in about fifteen minutes- would have been sooner if he had been at home, but alas, and when he entered the cheese shop, a cheery bell rang, alerting whoever owned the place that they had a customer at eight thirty am.
He didn’t exactly know where to look, but in the back of the place, they had four different flavors of cheese curds.  Virgil sighed at the prices- this kwami was more expensive to feed than the plethora of stray cats that wandered the city.
He grabbed one bag of each flavor and went to the register, placing them on the counter.
“Can I get this?”
“Sure hon.”  The woman smiled and rang them up, he brow furrowing.  “That’ll be twenty seven dollars and fifty four cents.”
Virgil pulled some rumbled bills out and set them down before meticulously counting out the rest of the change in the nickels that lived in his pockets.
“Do you want a bag for that?”
“Uh, no thank you.  And I don’t need the receipt, thanks.”  Virgil grabbed the cheese and rushed out, heading away from the tourists and towards where he could hide.
He turned down an alley and knelt, tearing a hole in his jeans as he opened his bag again and offered some cheese curds to the kwami.
“Thank you.”
“Fuck you, you little chaos demon.”  Virgil bit out as Plagg ate the cheese slowly, seeming to enjoy the squeaking sound that it gave with each chew.  When the kwami finally swallowed, Virgil stood.
“Plagg, claws out, or I--”
Green light enveloped him in a yelp.
Roman hit the akuma with his yo-yo fruitlessly as the monster roared at him and swung.  He only managed to jump out of the way before it’s giant fist crushed through the roof of the building he’d been standing on.
“Come on Kuro, where are you?”  He muttered as he rolled to the right, a massive foot coming down right next to him.
“HEY!”  a voice shouted. Kuro Neko.
Roman sighed in relief as his partner yelled something intelligible at the akuma, getting a stoney fist thrown his way.   The black clad figure leapt gracefully over it and used his staff to jab it in the eye, which only enraged it further as he landed next to Roman.
“Sorry LB, I was in a different part of the city.”  Kuro looked up and then tackled them to the side as the akuma roared.  They rolled for a few feet before stopping and Roman quickly got up.
“Thanks.”
“Yeah.  Do you know where the akuma is?”
“It’s right in front of us.” Roman said blankly.  “Oh, wait, you meant the object!”
Kuro rolled his eyes and then launched himself up to dodge a stone hand as Roman threw the yo-yo around one of the arms and used that as a swing.  They landed on a roof next to each other and Kuro’s face fell.
“It’s going to keep destroying if we can’t figure it out.”
Roman nodded.  “I know.  I think the akumatized object is in his foot though.”
Kuro Neko tilted his head in confusion and Roman bit back a comment about cats before pointing.  
“That foot’s a different color than the rest of the stone.”
“Okay, what do you want me to do?”
Roman blinked.  “Well, can you go around front and distract the akuma while I call the lucky charm and figure a plan real fast?  Try to keep it stationary.”
Kuro Neko nodded and jumped off the roof, going into a quick freefall before pulling out his staff and using it to safely land.  He ran between the akuma’s feet and to the front.
Roman bit his lip and pulled his yo-yo off his belt.  “Lucky Charm!”
A red and black spotted bicycle pump came flying down and he caught it, frantically looking around as he tried to figure out a plan.
Nothing, nothing, there!  Roman nodded and jumped off the roof, landing on a balcony that hadn’t been destroyed yet.
“Kuro Neko!”
“What Ladybug?!”
“When I say go, use your cataclysm on the underside of it’s foot!”
Kuro made brief eye contact with him, before resigning himself to the fact and nodding.
Roman took the bike pump and a flowerpot from the balcony before jumping off that and landing on the street to steal an umbrella from the food cart that had somehow not been crushed by the fighting.
He combined the items into a weird spinning thing.
“Now Kuro!”
Kuro didn’t respond to him, but Roman heard a faint “Cataclysm!”   and a roar as the akuma turned to attack the spinning umbrella.
It’s foot was right above him when Kuro Neko came out of nowhere, holding up the hand that had the Cataclysm activated.  The foot came down as Kuro used his free arm to pull Roman to him so they were hip to hip.  Roman dimly noted that his partner’s eyes were closed tight and the second the Cataclysm came in contact with the foot, black spread in veins from the spot.   The stone crumbled away and fell to dust around them, a purple glowing butterfly flapping out of the dust.
Roman threw his yo-yo forward.  “No more evil doing for you.”
The akuma was trapped in the yo-yo and when it got it back, he opened it, watching the white butterfly flap out.  “Bye bye butterfly.”
Kuro’s arm left from where it was wrapped around him and the black cat hero sighed.  “Oh my god, I’m going to have nightmares.’
“Hey, I’m sure you’ll be fine.”  Roman freed the bicycle pump from the contraption and smiled at Kuro Neko.
“Miraculous Ladybug!”
Ladybugs burst from the Lucky Charm, repairing the damage around them as the pair watched in awe.
Roman turned to Kuro.  “Thank you.”
Kuro Neko might have smiled, but Roman didn’t know, after all, his partner’s mask covered the bottom half of his face, leaving his green and blue eyes uncovered.
“Yeah, you too Ladybug.”  Kuro Neko held up a fist.  “Pound it?”
“Pound it.”  Roman grinned then paused as his earrings beeped and Kuro’s ring flashed.
“Well, until next time?” Roman asked casually.
Kuro turned away and then paused.  “Ladybug, we need to eventually figure out who has the butterfly miraculous.”
“Of course, but we don’t know anything right now.  We’ll figure it out.”
Kuro nodded, then extended his staff, using it to launch away, leaving a starstruck Ladybug to watch him disappear before turning himself and yo-yoing away.
Logan opened his eyes.   He was standing in the doorway of his apartment and he thought that he could vaguely feel like something was off….
Huh.  He’d remember eventually.  He shut the door and locked it before heading down the stairs to go to class.
The back of his head did have a dull ache though.
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aaronhart93 · 4 years ago
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after work || zara & aaron
Discord text thread featuring: Aaron & @x-heartbreaker​​
When: early morning March 11, 2020
Mentions: -​
Description: Aaron takes Zara home after he finds her getting attacked outside of work
Trigger Warnings: injuries, assault, stalker/pervy dude
Zara
In the early morning hours, Zara’s shift is finally over. She’s been back and forth between serving in the vip section and bar tending, depending on what’s available on any given day, she picks up as many shifts as humanly possible. That leaves her tired but she continues to push through it. Tonight in the vip section, Ryan is present, just like most nights she’s working there. He’s not someone Zara would have looked twice at but she learned his name early on, as part of the customer experience really, she learned it made her better tips. It’s another night of turning down his advances but smiling through it like the trooper she is. When she cleans up her section and closes down for the night, she’s relieved that she isn’t required to smile anymore and she heads down to wait for her cab home. That’s when he appears again, offering her a ride home, which she politely declines. Before she can even turn her attention back to the street, her body is nearly thrown against the side brick wall of the building in the alleyway between the club and the building next door. The impact of her back hitting the wall and of his body pressing into hers knocks the breath out of her. When she regains her senses her hands are pinned above her head and all she can smell is the alcohol of his breath while his mouth is on her neck. Why isn’t her adrenaline kicking in, it’s like she’s frozen. His other hand his unbuttoning his pants but Zara is busy turning her head away to avoid his mouth getting anywhere near hers. “Get off of me!”
Aaron.
Aaron wasn’t typically at his bars like this so late. He had people for that, and he was already busy enough during the week. He needed to sleep at some point. There were a lot of assumptions about Aaron — some true, some not so true. But no one could say that he didn’t work hard. Tonight, he was entertaining some high profile people and wanted to make sure that everything went smoothly. He introduced himself, and even had a couple of drinks with the group. On the house, of course. Aaron knew that if he charmed the pants off of these people that it would be great for business. When the group finally left, Aaron decided to make his exit and head home to his kid and partners. He looked at the time. It was 4am and he certainly wasn’t sober enough to get in his car and drive himself back to the pent. He needed to just stop driving in the city in general...but he just loved his car. He called for his car service as he made his way out of the back entrance. He shoved his hands in his designer coat then heard someone scream. He turned towards the back alley when he saw one of his staff members being attacked by a patron. “Shit.” He mumbled to himself before making a split second decision to run up to the pair to pull the male off of Zara. He grabbed his clothing by the shoulder and socked him in the face which made him fall to the ground. “Fuck. Are you okay?”
Zara
There isn’t much that surprises Zara these days, not after what she’s been through in the foster system, but somehow this has caught her off guard. She never would have expected that this guy would even have enough balls to try something like this. Is that why somehow she couldn’t fight back? She was already looking for a reason to blame herself, as she always did. Soon the pressure of his body is a weight lifted off of hers and it’s only then that she’s able to try and catch her breath. The throbbing pain in the back of her head is kicking in and she knows there’s got to be some damage there from the force of it hitting the bricks but she isn’t prepared to feel it yet. Immediately she recognizes Aaron and is flooded with embarrassment. “I....” she can’t lie just yet and say that she’s fine but she also doesn’t want to speak not being fine into reality. “Thanks.”
Aaron.
his attention shifted from Zara to the man who was now rolling on the ground beneath him. Aaron delivered a kick to his stomach. Just for good measure. He didn’t really need to hit him again. He just wanted to make sure that he got the message. Don’t fuck with Aaron Hart and the people he cares about. Not to mention, the alcohol running through him made him think he was tougher than he actually was. He physically put himself in front of Zara and the man, who was a regular at the club and whom Aaron was sure never to allow back again. “You fucked up, man. Get lost.” He told him sternly, which must have prompted him to get up off onto his feet and scurry off. The businessman finally turned back to the woman. He wasn’t sure if he should touch her or what? Did she want a hug? A comforting hand on her shoulder? “What a dick.” Aaron looked at her nervously. She seemed....almost frozen. He took his jacket off and offered it to her, holding it out so that he could help her get into it. “Should we get you checked out? My driver can take us to the hospital.” He suggested.
Zara
this entire situation felt like more of an outer body experience than anything. it was almost like she was standing outside of her body and watching it happen without being able to stop it. she winced hearing the contact of Aaron's foot with the mans stomach, not that she didn't think it was deserved. And when he was eventually struggling to stand, the brunette still clenched her eyes shut almost just waiting for what could possibly come next. Thankfully it was retreating footsteps. Eventually she opened her eyes again, reminding herself to breathe. "im sorry i didn't mean to cause a scene." it took her a moment but she slid the jacket over her shoulders, the fact that she was physically shaking not even apparent in her mind. "ill be fine" hospital bills were not something she could even think about right now. "are you ok?"
Aaron.
Aaron was genuinely confused as to how and why Zara thought that she needed to apologize. She was the one being attacked after all. If anything, Aaron should have been sorry for not having some established safety precautions for the staff members getting out of work extra late. He’d need to work on that. It was number one on his to do list this upcoming week. “I’m fine.” He insisted, shaking his head. The adrenaline was actually still pumping through him. He wasn’t even cold without his coat. “And don’t be sorry. I promise that nothing like that is going to happen again. Okay?” He promised the other. He was confused as to why she didn’t want to go get checked out. Was it the money? Or did she not want to spend all night in the ER? “Can I are least call my doctor so he can talk to you to make sure you don’t need to be seen?” He suggested as he got a notification telling him that his ride was parked by the back door. “Let me take you home at least.” He practically pleaded with her.
Zara
The look on his face was telling her that she wasn't saying the right thing, but her mind felt like it was in so many places, yet blank all at once. She was lucky if she could even form a coherent sentence. Didn't she have mace in her purse just for this reason? Zara glanced down at her purse that was still zipped so that didn't do her any good, did it? Even though she was prepared, clearly she wasn't. And now that's boggling her mind. She didn't feel like herself. She could have done better, no doubt. She'd kicked plenty of ass in the past, what happened this time? Shaking her head she looked at him, she knew he was speaking but she hardly listened, so she just agreed when she heard the okay "okay." Reaching up she felt the back of her head, "it's just a bump." except that when she moved her hand, there was very clearly blood on her fingers that she wiped on the dark material of her black skirt. "okay. i guess i didn't have much luck getting a cab..."
Aaron.
"Okay." Aaron nodded once, relieved that she had at least agreed to let Aaron take her home. He was kicking himself for letting this happen to any employee. Maybe if he were paying better attention than this wouldn't have happened. The businessman lead Zara into the car, opening the door for her to let her crawl in first. Once he was in the car, he got on the phone with a doctor. That was the best thing about being rich - your staff was on call for you literally 24/7 because that's what they were paid to do. Zara's apartment wasn't far. Good thing because Aaron was getting nervous; she needed to get ice on the bump as soon as possible. "Do you want me to come up with you? Make sure you get settled okay." He asked, once the driver pulled over to the side. He didn't want to just assume, but he wanted to make sure that Zara got inside okay.February 27, 2021
ZaraBOT — 02/27/2021
shocked is still not an accurate depiction of what Zara felt. She’s mad at herself for not seeing this coming and not being more prepared. Why hadn’t she said anything sooner when she noticed this guy in almost every place she was, work and out of work.  The next thing on her mind was the fear that this might not be the last she saw of him. But beyond that once in the car she was glad to be sitting down, Zara didn’t realize her legs were shaking. On top of that her head was throbbing but before she knew it they were in front of her shabby apartment building. “If you want to, I’m sure I’ll be ok,” though her voice didn’t sound sure. She didn’t want to seem ungrateful for the help but her shithole apartment was also kind of an embarrassment. Her entire apartment could probably fit in his one bathroom.
Aaron.
The businessman was unsure how to respond to this. He was a guy, and she'd just been attacked by one. Should he have called one of her friends to get her or something? Aaron could see that Zara was visible upset and shaken up. Should he hold her? He was no equipped for this. The millionaire got out of the car and opened the door for her to let her out. "I could walk you up? I won't come in if you don't want me to...I just want to make sure you get up there okay." He suggested, putting a hand on her shoulder without even realizing it and guiding her slowly towards the front doors of her apartment building.
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taexual · 5 years ago
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HOLIC - 40 |  jb x reader
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pairing: Im Jaebum x Reader
genre: enemies to lovers au | roommate au
warnings: angst
words: 5.2k
disclaimer: i do not own the gif, please let me know if it belongs to you, so i can give proper credit
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The leisurely contract did entail a couple of rules – that Jiho was kind enough to point out before you added your signature – such as not attending any public events with anyone other than him during the “PR process” as he’d dramatically called it. To be fair, you didn’t understand that part – if making a name for yourself meant causing unnecessary rumors, then wouldn’t this whole process go much faster if you were seen with not one, but multiple people at photography events? But this was probably where the loyalty – mentioned in the contract a couple of dozen times – came in. They’d probably be okay if you went out with some of the other staff members from the gallery as long as they weren’t complete outsiders.
In the end, the few rules weren’t enough for you to call the police instead of signing the contract, and, another moment later, Jiho was already ordering champagne -- which you refused even if a few glasses would have surely helped you get through the rest of your day.
Your head hurt when you left the restaurant and returned to your own gallery to get back to work. You always dreaded the end of lunch break – it was probably natural for humans to hate having to go back to work – but this time, as you tip-toed on the edge of a new life, going back to work—returning to your old routine—was something you welcomed and even looked forward to.
Avoiding a group of children on tour with their teacher, you popped into the staff room for a moment to grab your electronics and take your jacket off, and then replied to Jaebum’s text that was inquiring about your plans tonight. You had none. You just wanted to sleep until you were miraculously hosting your exhibition while Jaebum’s album played in the background and all was well.
Deep inside, though, you were hoping Jaebum was going to say something that would make you forget your wish to hibernate for the rest of your life. He wanted to say something like that, too – and if he’d known how you were feeling, he would have – but he had a different obligation now; an obligation that he apologized for – because he couldn’t invite you with him, – but an obligation nonetheless.
The agency he’d just signed with had invited him and Jackson out for dinner and celebratory drinks later. Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t have asked him not to go there. This dinner was probably as important as the first meeting itself; Jaebum was given even more chances to impress his new employers. It was good. It would make sure that his road towards success wasn’t just a sandy path, but rather a solid highway that was able to endure any storm and hurricane that might threaten it.
With a heavy sigh, you turned around to return to work but not before checking in with your friends. It was unfair of you to rely on Jaebum so much, anyway, so, to avoid truly locking yourself up in your room for the foreseeable future, you were going to need someone to keep you company and, perhaps, tell you if the decision you’d made—the contract you’ve signed—was a mistake or not.
You’d texted your friends’ groupchat, looking for company but, as always, May – the youngest – was the only one who was free to get drunk on a Tuesday night. And, as if she had some magical telepathic powers, she immediately offered her listening services. Although, to be fair, the number of crying emojis you’d used when texting her might have been a huge hint.
Smiling at May’s eager approval to meet up tonight, you took a mental note to be a better friend to your friends – you suddenly weren’t sure if they were so independent that they just never needed your help, or if you just weren’t there for them, – and headed back out into the gallery, ready to spend the rest of the day focusing on crowds of children, high university students, and snobby customers. Somehow, all of that still put you in a better mood than the lunch you’ve had with Jiho earlier.
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For the first time since Jaebum introduced you to Mark, you managed to show up to his bar when he wasn’t working. You shot him a quick text while you waited for May to show up and learned that he was going to work today, after all, but his shift wouldn’t start until nine. That left you plenty of time to get drunk before he got here.
Somehow, even though you knew Mark much shorter than you knew the rest of your friends, he had become one of the most reliable people in your life – but, then again, perhaps, being reliable was one of the traits every bartender had to have. Still aware of Jaebum’s strong reaction about your and Mark’s friendship back in the day – even if Jaebum did change his mind later on – you weren’t brave enough to openly address the bartender as your friend but, in spite of everything, he still felt like one.
“Hey, I’m here!” May’s rushed voice was suddenly by your ear as your friend leaned in for a quick hug and sat down on the stool next to yours. “I might have just escaped a serial killer on my way over here.”
You never knew with May – she tended to exaggerate – but your eyes still widened in surprise. “What do you mean?”
“I called a cab,” she began to explain after making eye contact with the bartender-on-duty and earning a nod from him, “and the driver turned out to be the creepiest man I’ve ever seen. I swear, he’s Freddy Krueger’s long-lost brother. Even looked a little like him. He asked me when I was going to go home and if he should pick me up as if that’s something that normal taxi drivers do.”
“Shit, I hope he’s not waiting for you outside of the bar.”
“No, no, I waited until he drove away,” May said, still breathing heavily. She looked like she’d sprinted over here. “Otherwise, I would have called the police.”
“You need to get a license,” you reprimanded her for the umpteenth time.
“I do,” she admitted like she always did. “But, then again, what would I do with it? I’d only use it to drive to class and back.”
“Hey, I only use mine to drive to work,” you replied. “There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“Yeah, but, hey, speaking of driving,” May smiled and then was forced to pause when the bartender came over to take your orders and make you your drinks. “You’ve got yourself a chauffeur for a boyfriend. That’s cute.”
“He’s not my chauffeur,” you shook your head, having nothing against the particular occupation and yet feeling as if calling Jaebum your chauffeur was offensive. You didn’t really pay him for his services—although…—so it sounded like you were using him.
“I want to ask how the roadtrip went,” she stopped to take a sip of her martini. Her love for gin was unrivaled. “But, since we’re drinking tonight, I guess, it didn’t go that well.”
You sighed, toying with the slice of lemon on the side of your cocktail glass. “No, it went well. Really well, actually. It’s… it’s what happened after that’s forcing me to turn to alcohol.”
“Did you fight again?”
“No. But that’s in the future, I’m sure.”
And then you told her about everything that happened after you opened the door of that damn gallery – a true devil’s lair protected by the remarkably pleasant administrators – starting from the surprise you felt when you saw that Jiho was the one who’d made sure you got the interview, and finishing with the meeting you’ve had to endure earlier today.
Of course, as you spoke, you ended up having to take detours from the main story and introduce May to Jiho – since, by a weird coincidence, she wasn’t aware of what had gone down between you two – but you felt like you’ve lost twenty kilograms of weight off your shoulders when you finished talking.
May listened patiently, not moving at all – aside from tipping her head back to finish her drink in one big gulp as soon as you wrapped the story up.
“That’s one big load of information,” she admitted, her head bursting with so many new facts. “That was extremely unlucky. I’m sorry. Did a black cat cross your road every morning for the past week?”
You scoffed. “No. That’s what I get for daring to consider myself blessed to get that interview with the gallery in the first place. There’s no such thing as—”
“No, that was blessed,” May said. “Even if it’s Jiho who sought you out. I mean… I don’t know. I don’t like the guy, either. Anyone who doesn’t mind the negative image of themselves in the media is suspicious to me but maybe getting some exposure won’t be that bad.”
“But unlike him, I do care about my image,” you continued pointlessly.
The contract was signed, there wasn’t really a way to back out now. And yet you kept on talking as if hoping to hear comforting words. As if hoping to hear May tell you that you hadn’t just made the biggest mistake of your life.
“I get that,” she said. “It’s why you’ve hesitated before signing the contract, isn’t it? Because this sounds ideal. I know I’m supposed to become an architect after I graduate but, hell, if I got an offer like that, I’d agree to switch to photography.”
You have her a sarcastic look. “Want to trade places?”
May scoffed. “As if you’d ever allow that.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“You didn’t really agree to do this for yourself,” she concluded. “You mostly agreed for Jaebum.”
“What?” you frowned, feigning confusion even though your heart had picked up speed, catching on faster than your mind did. “I don’t understand—”
“You understand very well,” she cut you off with a shake of her head. “I can see right through you, you know.”
You knew. Of course, you knew. Even strangers would have been able to tell what you were feeling but May was one of your closest friends – not to mention, she was the kind of person that would have been able to crack the toughest spine of the most complicated book. If she was the one who’d moved in with Jaebum, she’d have gotten him to open up in just a few days, guaranteed.
“You signed the contract because he signed his,” May concluded. “Isn’t that right?”
“Well…” you looked away, swallowing. “It may have encouraged me. But I’m not doing this for him. I’m doing this for myself.”
“No, but you mean photography,” she said. “You’re doing photography for yourself. You’re thinking of hosting an exhibition for yourself. But you’re agreeing to work with Jiho for Jaebum. Because this isn’t something that you’d do. You’re going to have to pretend to be Jiho’s friend, his colleague, and whatever the hell the media assumes you are – and pretending to be someone you’re not is not something you’d do voluntarily. You’re just not good at that.”
“Thanks,” you said dryly.
May gave you a kind smile in return. “You’re good at being yourself, sweetheart.”
Somehow, even though she was younger than you, the endearing term softened your heart. It also made you feel like you were the younger one but that wasn’t a new feeling. If you caught May at the right moment – that is, a glass of martini in hand and a suffering friend by her side – she was wise beyond her years.
“Everything is going so well for him,” you couldn’t help but say, the words pouring out of your chest faster than you could learn how to stop them. They sounded stupid when said aloud and yet you still said them because that was what you were feeling and feelings didn’t always make sense. “I don’t want him to feel like he’s leaving me behind when he starts to make it and I’m still stuck in the same place.”
May nodded – that was what she’d suspected all along – and, after ordering another round of drinks – even if you were still only halfway done with yours – she placed a reassuring arm around your shoulders, leaning over the bartop to be closer to you.
“There will be other opportunities in the future if you’d prefer to wait,” she said softly. “You’re talented.”
“Yeah, but there are lots of talented people,” you replied. “I’m nothing special.”
“You—”
“Oh, May, it’s your job to call me special,” you interrupted before she could say anything, “you’re my friend.”
May retreated, smiling playfully. “I wasn’t going to call you special.”
“Oh,” you looked at her, surprise and embarrassed anger mixing in your blood. “Well, you should have. That’s the nice thing to do.”
“Yeah, but you wouldn’t be listening to me if I’d come here to tell you nice things,” she pointed out.
She was right but you still sighed, “I’m not sure I prefer the cold hard truth right now, to be honest.”
“You’re just going to have to deal with it,” she decided and then proceeded to tell you all that you needed to hear and more, “your own attitude towards this is exactly what’s the problem. You don’t think you’re special and that’s why you’re agreeing to do this. You need to sit down, convince yourself that you’re the most extraordinary person in this whole world and any gallery would be lucky to have you. You don’t have to do it this way. And then, once you’ve managed to convince yourself, you can drop Jiho, forget all about him and his half-assed attempts to get you both popularity, and go home to make love to your singer boyfriend.”
You shuddered, giving her the most disgusted expression you could muster even though your chest was full of nothing but gratitude.
“I was going to say you should be a motivational speaker,” you said, the first traces of a smile appearing on your face, “but I’m afraid you just made me cringe into the next year.”
“Come on, I’m serious,” May continued but she was beginning to smile, too. “Have a little more faith in yourself. I know it’s easier said than done but if you’re not going to work on your confidence, then you might as well just go through with this whole ordeal. Maybe having your first exhibition – under whatever circumstances – will open your eyes so you can see how wonderful of an artist you are.”
Her words got you to quit playing with the sad slice of lemon on your drink and finish the cocktail inside of the glass instead.
“I thought you weren’t going to be nice and would hit me with the cold truth,” you told your friend then.
“I am hitting you with the cold truth,” May replied. “You’re a good person and a great photographer. Do whatever it takes to prove that to yourself.”
She was right, of course. Before you proved your worth to everyone else, you needed to prove it to yourself. You’ve helped Jaebum out of his seemingly bottomless pit of insecurities about his music, but you were drowning in a similar pit yourself. You weren’t alone, though. You had your friends who were there to throw you a rope in case the deep water of your anxiety threatened to swallow you whole and, if you’d just told Jaebum about this, you knew he’d be here for you, too.
But he had so much going on already. He’d just released his first song. Just signed his first contract. Just went to his first formal dinner with his new employers. He was already riding on the highway to his future while you hitchhiked, hoping that a passing car would pick you up and help you follow after him. You didn’t like this way – you didn’t want to depend on anyone on your way to your dreams – but, right now, this seemed to be the only way to get to your destination at the same time as Jaebum got to his. Not years – or, worse, decades – later.
You’d just have to find a way to believe in yourself while you tore out a few pieces of your soul to be able to follow Jiho around without killing him on sight.
“Will you have my back if everything backfires and all that I’ve worked for explodes in my face?” you asked May then.
“No,” she replied, “because I don’t want to get burnt, too.”
You rolled your eyes just as the bartender brought you a new round of drinks. “A true friend you are.”
“I will visit you in the hospital, though,” May promised. “I’ll bring flowers.”
You laughed. For the first time since you’ve left the house today, you genuinely laughed. And you were suddenly overwhelmed with affection for your friend because, for the first time since that visit to the gallery, now you felt like you weren’t committing a huge, horrible crime. Perhaps you just needed to talk to someone and, having May listen to you and reassure you in the most realistic words she could manage to find, worked as a medicine of sorts.
You still felt a thick heaviness inside of your chest – you didn’t need just anyone to talk to; really, you needed Jaebum – but it didn’t feel so suffocating anymore. Maybe, as long as your mind remained on this moment, you’d survive this.
“You look like you’re going to start crying,” May observed, breaking you out of your thoughts. “Should I be worried about something else?”
“No,” you shook your head, inhaling deeply and then giving her a smile. “I’m just glad you’re here. Tell me how school is going. Fewer asshole professors this semester, I hope?”
“Oh, boy,” May rolled her eyes before finishing her cocktail and breaking into a story about her day-to-day life, never once abandoning her sense of humor as she complained about her deadlines.
You listened, nodding along and smiling whenever it was appropriate, because listening to her talk wasn’t just a wonderful distraction. It was also something you truly wanted to do.
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A couple of hours later, both you and May were already preparing to head out but then you saw Mark arrive. Deciding to stay back for a few moments to help him get started on his shift – he asked you to, claiming that the biggest bartender superstition was that, if no one ordered a drink within ten minutes of the start of their shift, the night wasn’t going to go well – you waved May goodbye and then walked her out to wait for the cab with her so the creepy driver from before wouldn’t show up again.
Once you went back inside, however, Mark was already pouring a drink for someone else.
“Looks like you don’t need me, after all,” you joked, sitting down in your old spot.
“No, but it looks like you need me,” he countered. “How long have you been here?”
“A few hours. Why?”
“You don’t look drunk in the slightest,” he said. “The only people who stay at a bar for this long and don’t get drunk are either psychopaths or people who are suffering from something that’s way beyond the superficial level. I’d say you’re sane enough, so which kind of existential crisis are we dealing with tonight?”
“Bartender sociology 101, huh?” you teased but after Mark showed no signs of playing along – he genuinely wanted to know what was going on with you – you ended up having to find a way to tell him all that you’ve just told May.
Except, Mark was Jaebum’s friend. You felt bad telling his friend about Jiho before you told him, but you’ve stumbled into a situation where the opposite wasn’t possible, considering that you didn’t have enough courage to run away from the bar and find Jaebum right this moment, and Mark obviously wasn’t going to let you leave unless you told him what was up first.
“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable,” you admitted, still hesitant. “Because I haven’t talked to Jaebum about it.”
“I’m a bartender,” Mark said. “No one keeps secrets as well as I do.”
“No, of course, but—”
“Are you pregnant?”
You paused. “No.”
“Then we have no problem with you telling me first,” he shrugged. “Especially if it’s a loaded conversation that you’re not prepared to have with him yet.”
“It is,” you confirmed. “A-and, actually, maybe you could help me find a way to tell him about this.”
Mark wasn’t sure he would – apparently, he struggled with talking to Jaebum as much as you did sometimes – but he allowed you to open up anyway. He did have to ask you to pause for a moment while he poured drinks for the other customers, but, other than that, he listened to the story of your trip to Jiho’s gallery with great interest. A concerned expression remained on his face all throughout your monologue.
Once you’d finished, you expected Mark to give you a lecture – the look on his face was indecipherable by the time you mentioned signing the contract – but, instead, he just sighed, finished wiping the bartop, and leaned on it on his elbows.
“I don’t think you’re doing anything that’s inherently wrong,” he spoke but the slight shake in his voice was a subtle indication that he didn’t think he should have been saying that. “It’s just a somewhat conflicting way to start off your career, but, look – at least, you’re not sleeping with anyone.”
“I’d never do that,” you shook your head. “I have my limits.”
“Well, see? Then I don’t think it’s that bad,” he said, pulling away. “You only have to show up at a few events and then you can host your exhibition. That’s what you’ve been working for and that’s what you will get to do.”
“Yes, but it’s Jiho I’m supposed to show up to those events with.”
Mark considered this.
“Don’t think of it like that,” he said after a moment. “I mean, you and him are both photographers, right? So, even if you weren’t going to go out with him in public, you would probably still run into him at some event sooner or later. And, since you know each other, chances are, he would come over to talk to you. You would have to be civil since you’re both in a public place. And maybe reporters would catch you two talking. Maybe one particularly shitty journalist would even snap a picture and write an article about a-a ‘budding love affair’ between two aspiring photographers. These type of things happen without your consent all the time.”
He had a good point that left you hesitating for so long, Mark ended up having to leave you alone for another moment so he could serve a new customer.
“This feels different, though,” you said once he was back, “because now I’m purposefully waiting for that shitty journalist to do just that.”
“It’s for the greater good,” Mark said. “Or, rather, for a greater future.”
You chewed on your lip. “You really think so?”
For the first time since you’ve finished your story, Mark was the one hesitating before replying. Your stomach sunk lower and lower with every second that passed before he spoke again.
“Not really,” he admitted finally, lifting his apologetic gaze from the floor to look at you, “but that’s not what you want to hear.”
“No, no, don’t tell me what I want to hear,” you asked as a typhoon of anxiety washed over your insides. “Tell me what you really think.”
“I think you should talk to Jaebum.”
You should have seen it coming.
“Yeah?” you asked awkwardly.
“Mmhmm,” Mark nodded. “Because I don’t think that this way of getting your name out there is bad in itself. The bad thing is you keeping this a secret from Jaebum. That makes this into a bigger deal than it really is.”
That was true. If things hadn’t escalated so badly – if you hadn’t reached a point where Jaebum seemed to hate Jiho with a burning passion – he might have even supported you through this. Perhaps he wouldn’t approve – he did showcase some relatively possessive tendencies, although they never bordered on the extreme – but he wouldn’t dismiss just the very thought of you doing this.
“He would never agree to it,” you decided miserably. “He’d never let me do it.”
Mark seemed surprised to hear this. “Does he control you?”
“W-well, no. Of course not,” you said, unsure how to explain what you meant. “I-I… I just—I care about him a lot and I don’t want to fight with him.”
“If this is something that’s going to start a fight,” he said, “then maybe there’s something wrong.”
You didn’t understand what he meant. “With… with us?”
Mark shrugged his shoulders. “You tell me.”
You looked down. Deep down, you knew what he meant. In any hypothetical situation, if there was something that one person wanted to keep from another, it was likely that this thing – this secret – involved the first person doing something that wasn’t right. Wasn’t appropriate. Something that would damage their relationship.
Your head was suddenly as heavy as your heart was.
“I can’t tell you anything,” you answered. “I don’t know what I’m doing.”
“You signed the contract, didn’t you?” Mark asked, his voice more sympathetic when he noticed how dull your normally bright eyes looked. “Just try to go through with it. Like Jiho had said, it’s a business relationship and you have the legal papers to prove that if you should ever need to.”
You looked up at him. “You mean… prove that to Jaebum?”
“I mean, if you’re not going to tell him, and you’re hoping that this will just pass quietly—”
“I’m not sure it will. We’re talking about the media, after all—”
“Oh, love, don’t get offended,” Mark shook his head, not letting you finish, “but I don’t know a single person who would be interested in news about photographers aside from other photographers. I couldn’t care less about who Tyler Mitchell is dating or what he does in his free time – I only care about the pictures of Beyonce that he took – but Jackson was here the other day, trying to get me interested in that photographer-related gossip because he’d met Mitchell while traveling and the guy was, apparently, holding hands with someone.”
You felt your own interest in this conversation increase tenfold at the mention of the photographer’s name but Mark was obviously not going to elaborate – he nearly yawned just as he was giving you the abbreviated version – so you just nodded instead.
“You have a point,” you said, suddenly feeling the first bits of relief. “News like that probably wouldn’t even reach Jaebum.”
The bartender narrowed his eyes, asking slowly, “are you considering not telling him at all?”
Honesty was painful now as you replied, “I don’t know.”
“Okay, good,” he said, his voice rushed as if he was afraid you’d continue talking before he finished. “Don’t tell me what you decide then. I’ve already gotten more involved than I’m comfortable. I can’t support your decision not to tell him because he’s one of my closest friends, but, at the same time, this isn’t my story to tell. I’ll be quiet about this but... I don’t think you should be.”
“Yeah, I understand,” you said, awkward now that you’ve realized you’ve stepped over the line. “I’m sorry I’m putting you in this position.”
“It’s fine, I don’t mind listening to you,” Mark said. “Sorry I couldn’t help you with much, though. I’m afraid this is something that you have to do on your own. If you find the right words to explain what you’re doing, Jaebum will understand. You just have to believe in yourself and stop looking like you’ve killed three people on your way home to talk to him. Have more confidence.”
“More confidence,” you repeated, almost scoffing. “That’s what I keep hearing.”
“It’s the truth,” he said. “Jaebum always talks about how talented you are. And he recognizes art, he’s not saying that just because he’s into you.”
Your heart banged against your ribcage, reminding you yet again about how much you cared about Jaebum. About how special it made you feel to know that he was talking about you to his friends.
“I hope you get to host your own exhibition,” Mark added before you could stand up and dial Jaebum’s phone number. “I really do.”
Hearing that meant a lot and you felt your lips stretch into a smile. “So, you don’t think I’m selling my soul to the devil by trying to get it this way?”
“No,” Mark laughed. “I just think you’re very dedicated since you’re willing to give up so much for your goal.”
You couldn’t help but find his words ambiguous. You feared to think of what else – aside from your dignity – you were unconsciously willing to give up for your ambition, but you didn’t ask him to explain what he’d meant. You didn’t dare.
“You know, it’s extremely refreshing to talk to someone who doesn’t immediately assume the worst of me,” you said instead.
“Who immediately assumes the worst of you?” Mark asked.
“Me.”
“Ah,” he nodded with a chuckle and then clocked a group of customers that had just arrived. “Hold on for just a moment.”
You nodded, using this time to check your phone. The screen was decorated with multiple texts from Jaebum – most of them seemed excited as he told you about the divine food that the agency dinner had served – but it also showed that it was nearly ten o’clock already. You hadn’t planned to stay here for this long; you still had to work tomorrow, not to mention the mess of thoughts inside of your mind you’d have to deal with even before your alarm rang the next morning.
“Thinking of leaving?” Mark asked when he returned and caught you putting your jacket on.
“Yeah,” you said. “I’ve stayed far longer than I should have. Thank you for listening to me and for being so open-minded. You’re a great person, Mark.”
He laughed, the comment clearly flustering him. “Must be the reason why I’m single.”
“Oh, you’re going to make a great partner for someone one day,” you said, your mind flashing back to him and Kiera. You were suddenly glad you weren’t drunk or you would have brought your friend up and you didn’t think you were in the right position to talk about them together. “Anyone would be lucky to have someone like you. It’s just me who’s stupid; apparently, I like my men complicated.
“Men?” Mark cocked an eyebrow.
You smiled at this. “You’re right. It’s just him.”
Mark stopped cleaning the glass he was holding to give you a serious look. “You like him a lot, don’t you?”
“I…”
You couldn’t finish the sentence and Mark was quick to notice that as a big smile spread from one of his ears to the other.
“What?” he asked, his tone teasing. “Is that not the right word anymore?”
“Oh, shut up,” you got up from your stool, looking down to avoid having him see your embarrassed face.
Mark laughed again, recalling the same exact words that Jaebum had said to him when he asked him the same thing.
“It’s okay,” he said, sending a mischievous wink your way when you looked at him again. “I happen to know that he feels the same way about you.”
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