#im not saying wincest sex has nothing to do with whatever this is

[why-is-it-always-autumn]

The sheer level of deranged codependence the Winchesters could have reached if the "Sam is addicted to demon blood" plotline had continued until season 10...

Dean has access to demon blood which makes him essentially Sam's dealer which binds Sam to him, but also the more demon blood Sam drinks the more he can control demons, including Dean. The angry fights that now involve telekinesis on both sides. The amount of humanity that Dean is willing to admit to or that Sam is willing to pin on him varying wildly day to day. Dean kills another demon with the First Blade because Sam drank from him instead of Dean. Sam nearly exorcises him in retaliation. Dean feels guilty about enabling his brother's addiction but insists that he doesn't because he's a demon he doesn't feel guilt (he totally feels guilt). They're still hunting things and saving people but they're so unhinged about it. Crowley has fully lost control of the situation and Cas is being really judgy about it :/ (I feel like we'd sort of end up with Cas+Crowley together a lot of the time by default, just reacting to all of this). They've alienated everyone they care about. Sam is insisting that he's fine but Dean isn't. Dean is insisting that he's fine but Sam isn't. No one is fine. Cas is trying to fix things. It's not going well.

[batemanofficial]

ok im stoned now so lets talk. i really do think one of the biggest obstacles to queer unity (on this site especially) is the incessant need to circle everything back to fandom. the practice of boiling every argument down to whether or not some idiot with a picrew pfp is reinforcing haysian homophobia politic by not "letting" you ship wincest or whatever is fucking stupid and you all know it. (side note: don't shoot the messenger but showrunners don't give a fuck about shipping. they don't. you are not going to bully writers into making your otp canon by whining on tumblr dot com. you belong to a fringe community with niche drama that nobody outside of aforementioned fringe community gives a single fuck about. get over it.)

the seemingly ever-present urge to circle every argument about the very real issue of the conventionalization and hypercompartmentalization of queer identity around to the topic of "puriteens" not letting you write "problematic" fanfiction is fucking ghoulish. loath as i am to align myself with people who think jane eyre is irredeemable media, 90% of the time they aren't talking about you and your mediocre *spicy* repackaged bodice ripper erotica. there is very much an issue on this site of people the-curtains-were-just-blue-ing their way into claiming the very existence of sex scenes in media is tantamount to assault by forcing the audience to watch them, but 99% of people making those arguments are either children or so terminally online that their opinion and worldview at large is entirely divorced from the world outside of their blog.

if somebody is expressing real frustration with the incessant cultural norm on this site of whittling down identities into ever-smaller boxes in the name of maintaining terminal inoffensiveness and your first instinct is to bitch and moan about "antis" harshing your vibe i need you to get your head out of your ass, read a real book, and act like a real fucking person. there are actual, real world issues surrounding the suppression of free speech (especially vis-à-queer identity) and pinkwashing and tokenization and intra-community racism and transmisogyny and a whole host of other things that pose credible threat to the sanctity of queer existence but it seems like every argument about any one of those things gets turned into a neoliberal "you know what. no. fuck this. fuck you you rusty walnut" bitchfest and im sick of it!!!!!!! there's people that are dying and all this site seems to be able to do is complain about purity culture but not even in the way that deserves to be complained about!! and i know a lot of you are saying "asinine fandom discourse on the asinine fandom discourse website? fork spotted in kitchen" and yeah i get it but a lot of you need a fucking wake up call. im not saying fanfiction has no inherent artistic value or that issues about fanfiction aren't often deeply intertwined with queer issues but a lot of you live in a world that's so warped by your own excessive consumption of media that you can't even fathom the idea that you belong to a niche subculture that has no bearing on real world politics. and by perpetuating these arguments you're just driving even deeper rifts between groups of queer people so nothing gets fucking done!!! a mutual of mine posted something asking for people to have some tact and not use the destiel confession meme to post news about gaza and that's exactly the kind of thing im talking about. this website carcinizes every argument about real world politics into something about fandom and every cogent argument ends up being warped into the same six fucking talking points about how you - as a white abled american - are oppressed for donating to the race play apologia website. im sick of it. enough. grow up.

one of these days i'll write some kind of long form thing about the "purity culture" phenomenon on this site but only when im high enough to withstand the death threats that'll inevitably come flying through my inbox

[missjackil]

My 14x20 Season Finale Opinion

Moriah

This was absolutely AMAZING!! It ranks in there with the Season 4 and 5 finales with me! Definitely one of the best!! I came away from 14x19 saying “ooooh my boys done fucked the fuck up!” and came away from this with “OMG MY BOYS REAAAALLLYYY FUCKED THE FUCK UP!!!!”  So without further ado, let's get to it.

Absolutely nothing I predicted to happen happened. Even with clues given from trailers, sneak peeks and spoiler shots, which is fantastic, because that means they can still surprise me, have not gotten too predictable, and the writing is STILL top notch!

I was completely and pleasantly thrown by the segment where no one could lie. This is the first finale that had a good strong dose of comedy, where it would seem to not fit but was so well done it was great! It was reminiscent of Lebanon which started off very light and humorous and quickly changed to deeply dramatic. Since the beginning, one of my favorite things about this show is its ability to take me through so many different emotions in just one episode.

We start off with a very angry Jack. Sam Dean and Cas looking on in terror as he emerges from the smoke. Sam, though a little terrified, actually shows a little relief that Jack made his way out. .Now Dean and Cas have at it, because Dean wants Jack dead and Cas does not. Which solidifies that this, season 14, is the first season in 10 years that had absolutely 0 Destiel moments (Thank you Dabb!!) not a welcome back hug, no “sex eyes” no stupid mixx tape... nada zip nothing :)  so while so many of you have bitched since Dabb took over in S12, that he's breaking down the brothers’ co-dependency and is a Destiel stan, he has proven both accusations wrong by a long shot. 

Now let's move on to the story.  Jack walks through town and hears everyone lying to each other. One of the first things we know he has learned is that lying is bad. He’s expressed this a few times that he is uncomfortable with it, now even without a soul, he doesn’t like it, so he orders everyone to stop lying, simply by shouting it. I knew this was going to be fun. 

Sam and Dean go to a facial recognition company to try to find Jack. Right away I notice that the sign says “Mirror Universe” and they hold the shot for a moment, making me wonder if this is something I might want to remember later. Not unlike in Lebanon when the boys walked up to the pawn shop and their reflections appeared over the sign “Precious Pawn”. Are these things a hint to something, like in 7x02 when Sam and Hallucifer/Dean got to the office building that was named “Morning Star Inc” (Lucifer is Latin for Morning Star)? Could just be a coincidence but Im going to put that on my “hmmmm” shelf. 

Right away Dean comments about the nerds and Sam says “Takes one to know one” and we know they can’t lie either. We learn Dean is not only a geek also, but watches Jeopardy every night, and Sam’s favorite singer is Selene Dion! This tickles me because I love learning new things about Sam, and my little wincest heart sighs at the thought of My Heart Will Go On, Because You Loved Me, and It’s All Coming Back to Me Now are songs maybe he thinks about Dean to?

On that note, I must include that my good friend @supernaturalnardog pointed out that in the early years, being made to tell the truth, led the brothers to say biting, resentful things about each other, and now it was just silly brother teasing. How much closer and trusting they have grown since those days 😍 

Meanwhile, we have Cas doing something that made no sense to me. After bitching at Sam and Dean about trying to contain Jack in the Malak box, he is now trying to get into Hell so he can see if he can put Jack in the cage?? Ummm sure yeah Cas, that's a much better choice.  Jack goes to find Kelly’s parents, and sadly, they don't like him anymore. They looked him up and no one heard of him, and Kelly’s peers believe she is dead. Grandmom believes Jack killed her. She screams at him and all we see are glowy eyes and STOP!! Ugggh did he just Mary Winchester another grandmom?? Back at the ranch, Chuck shows up agrees with Cas that Jack is a problem and they go meet up with Sam and Dean. Dean is automatically pissed and breaks Chuck’s guitar, the office is crazy with people telling the truth, so Chuck zaps them all back to the bunker to talk. Emotions rise from there...

Cas splits to go find Jack, Chuck talks to the boys makes them a gun that can kill anything, but the catch is, that whatever the gun does to someone else, it also does to the shooter. Dean takes the gun. 

After some monologuing between Cas and Jack, we go back to Dean in his room, filling a flask. Sam is looking for him, so Dean invites him in and asks him to have a seat. Here comes “the talk” that Sam must be all too familiar with now. Dean informs Sam that he’s going to kill Jack, and consequently kill himself as well. Looking for Sam’s approval, blessing, acceptance, or whatever, Sam isn’t having it this time. He admits he’s still angry with Jack and part of him still wants him dead too, but

 “Dean, we never even tried to save him!”  “He killed mom!” “He has no soul!” “And who’s fault is that?” I actually thought Dean was blaming Sam for a second, until Sam took the blame himself and Dean’s expression clearly showed that wasn’t what he was trying to say, he was trying to say it’s Jack’s fault he has no soul. 

Sam says it’s his own fault because he brought him back, and Jack burned his soul off saving both of their lives. So Sam tells Dean if he thinks hes going to give him permission to go kill Jack and himself, so he can lose them both all at once, then no... just no.... he’s lost too much already. Sam peaces out.

Sam meets up with Chuck and the meta here made me a little dizzy to be honest. Chuck reveals that Sam and Dean are his guys, of all the Sams and Deans in all the universes, they’re his favorite. They’re SO interesting. And now Sam manages to make me feel guilty about watching them over and over and even writing fic. I empathize with Chuck a little bit here because he “writes” them this way because they're his favorites. They’re the most amazing heroes ever, they save the world but to BE those heroes, they need to go through tragedy. Show of hands here how many of you Sam girl’s write or enjoy fics with hurt!sam? Or Dean girls who write/enjoy hurt!dean? Wouldnt it suck if the boys in your stories started yelling at you to stop it?? What a dark and crazy thought! And I empathized with Sam too, because of how much I love episodes like Red Meat because Sam is badass... but now hes kinda saying, “why did I have to suffer like that to show you Im a badass??” ya feel me fam?? 

Anyway. Sam gets very angry and then Chuck tells him Dean already left. Dean is at the cemetery about to shoot Jack with the special gun, and Sam doesn't want this, Jack is on his knees, telling Dean he understands and its ok. It flashed me back to the end of S10. Dean cant do it and drops the gun. Chuck is like “nooo pick it up this is the big Abraham sacrificing his only son on Moriah and Dean’s like “nope” and he doesn't even care if Chuck brings mom back in the trade. He’s done, Chuck can fekk off... Chuck’s like fine snaps his fingers and the lights all go out and Jack dies, Dean goes after Chuck and Chuck flings him hard. Sam is completely done, gets the gun and is like fekk all “Chuck dies, I die, Dean dies, the whole freakin universe dies... GAME OVER!” But (un)luckily Sam misfired. And dont @ me Sam and Dean both are crack shots, but they also miss pretty often. And Chuck, from what Ive seen between the show and the fandom said “If all you can do is bitch about the show? Welcome to The End” 

Now we are being shown all Sam and Deans hard work being undone. From the Lady in White in  1x01 to John Wayne Gayce’s ghost in Lebanon. All the demons rising and the graves spitting out their dead and ganging up on 2 pretty helpless Winchesters and a pretty useless angel. My boys done fUcKeD tHe FuCk UP!!!! Jack is in The Empty, he’s awake with The Entity and Billie... I cant even imagine where this is going. 

 Im fairly sure this storyline won't come to a close in a few episodes in the beginning of next season. Since its the final season (side eyes the haters who made sure of it by bitching and not just changing the damn channel like civilized humans would) it will probably be a season-long arc and have reconciliation between the boys and Chuck by the end. If we have learned anything from the past 14 years of this show, its that good intentions don't always turn out good, with love we can forgive some pretty bad shit, and unfortunately, we tend to hurt the ones we love most. 

Overall I think this was one of the best finales we’ve seen. I plan to write about and meta the crap out of what's gone on this whole season, because I think the season itself, aside from a few crapisodes, (which every season has) was by far one of the best!

So on a scale of Bloodlines to Lebanon, Im giving this a 9. Well done everyone... well done!!

[missjackil]

Why Wincest? : An Honest Answer.

Like most Wincest shippers, I get asked a lot of different questions about why it is so appealing to me. Fortunately, I havent received any hate regarding it (yet) just mostly curiosity, and to be honest, I ask myself all the same questions. To be clear, I am only answering for myself, since everyone’s experience is different, but I know there are people who feel the same way. I’ll start by saying, I don’t have a brother kink, or any interest in m/m sex, but something about Sam and Dean specifically, intrigued me very early on. I’d say somewhere around “Woooaaah easy tiger” (Dean grins) “Dean!?” (Sam answers breathlessly) I thought, “Oh yeah, these 2 wanna bang each other!” and that was literally the first scene we ever saw of Sam and Dean together.  There is a reason why the writers/producers gave us a scene like this as our first introduction to the brothers’s relationship, it’s because they want us to sense sexual tension between them. This is the type of scene that TV shows and movies use to plant such thoughts between characters. For whatever reason 2 characters suddenly have physical contact, or maybe just long eye contact. The trope we’ve seen a million times, the “oops our bodies are touching and we made eye contact” that has started almost every love story ever. Since this is the very first scene between the brothers, the writers wanted to establish this immediately.  So, like so many people, I noticed this, and then thought “well thats kinda gross, they’re brothers” and moved on. However, it didnt stop there. The writers threw in text mixed with subtext to keep it going. From standing/sitting too close together, unnecessary touching, grabbing, pinning each other against the wall, and so on, mixed with spoken text about how much one needs the other, or how theres nothing they wouldnt do for each other, established in concrete, that these 2 are not normal brothers. 

Of course canonically, the boys don’t have a sexual relationship, and they never will, and Im absolutely fine with that, and honestly wouldn’t like if it was canon that they do. What I love is the level of love they have, and wondering how far they do go for each other, behind fictional closed doors of course. And is it really the worst thing they can do, or have done? Sam and Dean’s love to me, though toxic at times, is absolutely beautiful, and J2 convey it perfectly! They know all about wincest, and how it appeals to many of us, and not only does it not offend them, they play right along with it in the gag reels and at conventions. Even in the episodes that it is mentioned, The Monster at the End of This Book, Sympathy for the Devil, and Fan Fiction, the show acknowledges that many fans see and fantasize about wincest, and realize we really dont care that theyre brothers. Also the fact that they never allow the brothers to be romantically involved with anyone else for any significant length of time, shows that they don’t want us to stop thinking about it. And in the end, I am sure, the brothers will end up together forever. Whether it be in death or retirement, they are going to be with each other and not with romantic interests. 

Incest is a very taboo subject, no one will argue that, but sex between 2 consenting adults, no matter their relation, doesn’t have to be as taboo as we make it. I saw hate sent to a fellow wincest shipper via anonymous ask, claiming that if we accept the idea in fiction, than we accept the idea in real life, and that we say to children that its ok if their big brother, or dad or uncle touch them inappropriately. The fellow shipper answered defensively, and failed to actually answer the accusations. If it had been sent to me, I would have answered differently.  For one, no, accepting something in fiction means nothing in the real world. We accept all kinds of murder and infidelity in fiction, so why would this be different? Sam and Dean have a relationship that no one in the real world has. They don’t lust for each other, but they LOVE each other more than any of us have loved anyone. Most of us have someone we would die for, but none of us have someone we would sell our souls for. Not just sell your soul, but willingly set yourself up for eternal torment, in 1 years time, just so the other doesn’t die yet. Or, risk the fate of the entire world and everyone in it, just so the one we love doesn’t become evil, and those are only two things, in a long laundry list of things the Winchesters have done for each other. And if you did, and you and this person are consenting adults and wish to have sex? Go for it! I wont stop you. To the other part of the accusation, that this tells children its ok if brother, father, uncle etc touches them, I say “what?” This no more tells children such a thing, anymore than shipping a normal relationship tells children its ok to be touched so long as you’re not related. Seriously.  Another misconception is that if Sam and Dean have had a sexual relationship, it would mean they are bisexual, which canonically neither of them are. But that’s not true. To me, neither of them have sexual or romantic interest in men in general. It can be argued that subtextually they have, but that’s another thread. Canonically, Sam and Dean are straight, so how would they have sexual attraction to each other? Because it’s not the attraction at all, but a by product of a love so strong and deep that they’re literally exhausted every way to express it.  It seems like any wincest fan fic I read, portrays one or both as being at least bisexual, and sometimes full on gay, but that’s not necessary if you imagine the deep abiding love came long before the sex, not the deep abiding love developing from the sex. When some shippers see their sexual relationship develop or be experimented with when they were teenagers, usually they are showing that the epic love the brothers share developed out of curious, experimental sex in adolescence. For me, in my mind and in my fan fic, the sex always comes about the first time when they’re in thier 30s and have already done every other thing imaginable for each other, except for sex. And then for me it becomes beautiful, acceptable, and maybe kind of necessary. Not so much kinky, dirty, or taboo.  At SDCC Jared said “Sam and Dean love each other as much as two human beings can love each other” and to me, he accepts all the ways one can love another in that statement. Not saying he thinks they have, or wants them to have sex, but acknowledges romantic love is in there along with every other way.  This essay isnt to try to convert anyone, but so everyone can understand that there is more than one way to see this epic love, and explore its possibilities without hurting anyone.

[missjackil]

Writing Tips for Sam and Dean

I’ll let you all know that Im not a seasoned writer like many of you are, I only have a handful of fics under my belt. Not all are fan faves, some people don’t like the ship (most of my stuff is low smut wincest) or maybe they don’t like the ending, but Sam and Dean are the primary focus of all of my stories (except The One Who Remembers which is all Sam) and I am always told that I kept them in character well, which I take great pride in. For me, if they are not in character, then Im not reading Sam and Dean, Im reading a story about other people with the same names.  This isn’t to say Sam and Dean can’t or shouldn’t be written OOC, they can be written any way you want them to be and thats perfectly fine, but if you want to write them, and keep them real, I hope these tips will help. Choose a Season: This is pretty important because both brothers change over the years. Sam especially. Dean changes, but not as rapidly as Sam does. Like, I cant believe that S7 Sam and S8 Sam are the same person, or that they’re even related to S1 Sam, or become S12 Sam. Dean’s character changes, but more subtly and over a longer period of time. So if you’re going to have a silly yet over protective Dean, dial back to seasons 1-3 and choose a Sam from those seasons. (sure, you absolutely can interchange them, I just personally find the story flows nicer if my head is in the same season for both) 

Pretend it’s an Episode: Even if you’re going to add language, violence, and smut that would never be seen on the show, imagine yourself watching what you’re writing. What does the scene look like, where are they, what would their facial expressions show. It’s good to visualize the scene. This can help you when you’re stuck for their next line. Take a moment to describe the scenary, and think, “what do I expect would happen next” and go from there. Sometimes, its just the kick you need. Dean is Easier to Write For: He just is. This is not an insult to either brother, it is simply because Dean is an extrovert, and Sam is an introvert. Dean always lets us know how he’s feeling, Sam doesn’t. This is a big reason why I think most fics and even most episodes seem to be more from Dean’s POV than Sam’s even when they’re Sam centric. The original formula for the show was to be Sam’s journey, through Dean’s eyes. I don’t think they’ve stuck to that for the most part, but I do think its why the characters are written that way. Most of the time, for us to have a clue what Sam is thinking, we need to watch his facial expressions and body language. 

For an example - Regarding Dean. When Dean is cured and tricks Sam into thinking he still didnt have his memory, Sam didnt say anything, but looked upset. Then Dean laughed, and let him know he was joking, and all Sam said was “Not funny.” But he went through about 5 emotions in his face in 2 seconds flat. Had it been the other way around, and Sam played like he didnt remember Dean, Dean would have been vocal “What the hell?? You said you could fix him!!!” and when Sam let him know he was joking, Dean probably would have laughed, barked at Sam, probably threaten to kick his ass (lovingly of course) and probably hugged him (hmmm now I wish it had been Sam that lost his memory lol)  So you’re writing a scene in which Sam is emotional. He may talk about what’s on his mind, but most is going to be left in his mind, and not become words. You can make him say something, but then show what he’s thinking. Maybe he doesnt say a word, but looks at Dean or, something, and then you express his thoughts.[ Sam’s hands were shaking. Dean put a hand on his shoulder “You okay Sammy?”  “I’m fine” Sam replied, hoping to hide how terrified he was.] If the situation is reversed, Dean will probably say that he’s scared.  Notice their normal speech patterns and habits: Dean uses a lot of pop culture references. Sam does sometimes, but not to the extent that Dean does. Sam huffs a lot. Try to include this the best way you can; words like “huff, breath, breathes, exhales, and sighs are good words to use. Dean uses a lot more words than Sam does to express a thought. This doesn’t mean Sam doesn’t say profound things, he just gets to the point faster, however, when he does use a lot of dialogue, every word has intent, he doesn’t use many extra words like “very” or “really” all that often. He also tends to state things twice, like “I believe you, I do” or “Im happy, I am”  and Dean will often use hyperbole “Its been a really really really REALLY long long long long time” and don’t forget, Dean says “awesome” a lot! Romance, Fluff, and Sex: A lot of you wont write Wincest, and thats fine, but you will probably write fluff and bromance. In true SPN character, Dean is mainly dominant, and Sam is submissive, however, this isn’t the case all the time, so in a sexual situation, since they have no canonical sex, theres nothing OOC about making either dom or sub, or switching it up. Since their onscreen life is platonic, the logistics of sex is whatever you want them to be, any kinks or what have you, is all up for grabs, but if you want to keep the brothers in character, try not to change their chemistry and personalities in bed from what it is out of bed. Sam isn’t likely the one to talk dirty, Dean probably does. Sam probably rolls his eyes and pretends he doesnt like it. Dean is naturally less inhibitted than Sam, and Sam naturally over thinks things. Neither are overly needy, but like feeling like the most important thing in the world to the other. Remember they’re brothers, They have spent most of their lives together and have no need to impress the other, so don’t feel like they wouldnt laugh, make jokes, or tease each other during intimate times. They can be heartbreakingly, and painfully honest, and also immature, giant 12 year olds. Even if you arent writing sex for them, this goes just as well for fluff and general bromance.  If you are writing sex, dont feel the need to establish that one or both are gay or bisexual. This is not necessary given their relationship. Their sexuality is established as historically straight in canon, so if they DO have sex with each other, they are the only male’s they have ever had sex with..... more than likely. Stay away from making either of them too feminine. Both have natural femine qualities that can be used, but they will go right out of character if one begins to act female, or if the other is treating him as such. Stay away from typical fanon wincest terms like “baby boy” or “daddy”, Sam would probably punch Dean if he called him “baby boy” and Dean’s mood would be lost of Sam called him “Daddy”... face it, their daddy issues are not of the sexual nature, but again, this is only if you want to keep them in character. They have their own things they call each other, like little brother, buddy, Dee (a name only used once so keep that in mind too) brother, big brother, which work pretty well, but theyre not the most endeering, so you can get creative, but, if youre keeping them in character, maybe stay away from “honey” or “sweetheart” I hope these hints help, and if you are writing and need help with writing for this wonderful characters, please dont hesitate to message me, Id be honored to help!!