#im not really talking to anyone on specific im just very frustrated and don't know how to write

[koifsssh]

The Greaser Au!

(oh goodie! it's here!)

bwah, where to start?

long, long, long rambles below! (Beware!)

Wally! I'll start with Wally!

As you can imagine, Wally is the little leader of the group! Promptly dubbed after his last name, "The Darlings"! (how darling they are indeed!)

Wally had grown a fascination with the trend, though he didn't quite understand the need to act so tough and mean, so he decided to make his own group! (with the help of Barnaby!)

Motorcycles, catchy tunes, being free on the road is something everyone should enjoy! So who cares if you're big or small, or if you like the color pink? Anyone can be a greaser as long as they got a jacket and a bike to go along with it!

At least, that what he believes anyway!

Speaking of a certain beagle...

Barnaby!

Barnaby of course wanted to join in on the fun, and he very publicly advertised Wally's gang at his little comedy nights! (It did catch a certain blonde's attention!)

it did garner attention, with the way the beagle so affectionately told of Wally's endearingly comedic actions from their day to day life. Barnaby also helped Wally organize the entire set up, helping him get paint and base jackets for the painter to personalize! (He also suggested Poppy's diner as a hangout spot! He had it all thought out!)

Plus, it made his best friend happy! Who could ask for more? Well... maybe Barnaby would ask for a hotdog or two.

Julie!

Julie is a seasoned hair stylist! She owns her own hair salon! She's excellent at her job, however more often than not she gets a unpleasant customer.

Stress can pile up unfortunately, and when she attended a comedy show one evening she couldn't help but be ecstatic at such an idea of being free on the road. It felt like the perfect destresser!

Talking on the phone with Frank was great and all, but nothing compares to feeling the rush of wind in her hair... So she jumped at such an opportunity! And of course, Julie doesn't go anywhere without a certain frowny bookworm!

Frank!

Frank is an entomologist! (and a part-time librarian during the summertime!) A dream job really, but every dream comes with its hurdles! Similar to Julie, Frank found themself stressed. Usually books were able to decompress them, but lately they've been growing frustrated, the one thing they hate the most is incompetent writing!

It took a lot of convincing to get Frank to even consider the idea of being a greaser, let alone get on a motorcycle... but Julie can be very insistent when she wishes to be! Not even a week passed before they begged Julie to stop her nagging, but in exchange they had to at least go with her once on a motorcycle...

how mortifying.

However! the thrill of being on the open road at a high speed was something they never knew they needed! Needless to say, after that, they were hooked!

Sally!

Sally was the last member to join! and she took her spot quite quickly!

Sally had been in Poppy's diner when she saw The Darling's walk in, she was in awe! Colorful motorcycles? Matching jackets? They all looked marvelous! The star couldn't help herself when she walked up to them, simply starstruck at such a group!

They all looked to be having such fun... she wanted to take part!

When Sally asked if there was a spot left for her, Wally softly smiled at her and stated, "Anyone and everyone can join!"

She was content that day, and from then on, it really was the best group of friends she could ever ask for!

---

whew! im done!

(this is my second time typing this... i had lost it all the first time. bwah. but it's here!!!)

im quite happy how everything turned out! I think i'll use this as a master post of sorts, just so you don't have to dig through my stuff just to find anything specific!

I'll leave Poppy's & Howdy's explanations here! (Just know those designs are old! All the designs in this post are the ones i will be using!)

Poppy's Diner!

additionally! I will give you everyone's closeups!

[sparklecarehospital]

I know you’re not working on any askblog things but will the sparklecare askblog ever return?

i've thought about this a lot, semi-recently. sorry for long post, i had a lot to say

see, the issue with asksparklecare is the fact it's supposed to "go along with canon events" and a lot of the time, the arcs will just abruptly end or change with no real connection between them. haunted was sort of my first attempt at putting a "story" on there, then again with the kissmas comic from 2021.

when i started cometcare for example, i wanted to take the generic "ask blog" format and turn it into a coherent, cohesive connecting story that just had interactive elements to make it engaging with readers as opposed to just making people ask the characters questions aimlessly. the main ask blog never really had that entirely, it was just sort of the classic 2010s-style ask blog, this is apparent in basically every arc on there.

it's stumped me quite a bit because now that i have this very different style of ask blog storytelling, the original ask blog feels weird to go back to and i don't feel the same passion or connection with it that i once did. it's a little bit frustrating. i tried to do an arc about the side patients but as you guys saw, i never even did it because i felt so out of touch with that old format of ask blog posts and i couldn't bring myself to work on it at all.

cometcare and darkermatters both have Stories to them, and each arc has a plot that is moved on by readers- even if i already have it written out, there are little things people can influence through the asks and it's a good way for introducing new characters or expanding on characters who we've already met. several times cometcare will return to specific characters to relay information or new details or exposition or something that their initial introduction didn't have.

it's a much more fun process for me to write actual stories in my AU blogs, instead of just....making the characters talk. and another thing- going alongside the main comic has problems, because sometimes there's information i can only reveal in the comic itself, and it's hard to keep up with it in general.

i enjoyed doing the kissmas comic because i got to do a "story" even if it wasn't interactive. i had fun repeating the concept on cometcare last december with help of the crew.

i'm sort of at a loss of what to do with the main ask blog at this point. as much as i miss doing stuff like that for main comic, i just don't find it FUN to do it that way anymore, i've become too attached to the storytelling aspects of my other ask blogs and it just doesn't feel the same exciting experience of watching people react to events and such.

if anyone has suggestions about what i should do with the main ask blog to solve this problem i'm open to hearing them, it would be nice to have some ideas because i'm really not sure what i want to do with it.

there was a time i had the idea of doing a backstory ask blog as an alternate main canon interactive story that followed similar mechanics as cometcare and darkermatters, but idk if everyone would be interested in that. that would probably be a separate thing if i ever did it.

thoughts, opinions, suggestions and ideas are all welcome in the replies or my inbox, i would love to have your guys' input since im making content you all would be engaging with after all

[changbinsboobs]

How do skz feel about the lgbt community?

*For entertainment purposes only, take this with a grain of salt! I don't know any of the idols personally, this is all based on Tarot!

How do Skz feel about the LGBTQ Community?

Chan - Wheel of Fortune

He has a mixed opinion. He thinks some people are great, he thinks the cause in itself is great. But theres people that shit all over the place an make the whole cause look ugly and give the community a bad reputation. He thinks there's lots of good/great people in it, but he also thinks the majority of the internet community at least's full of little shits that are chronically online and just...uhhfjjgjg yeah. Idk how to express his frustration in a coherent way🥲 but yeah he has a strong opinion which is mixed.

Lee Know - The Tower, The Moon

Whmmm so idk, judging on old readings and conversation i would say he feels trapped and...well...closeted. Both cards are depicting exactly that🥲 i think he struggles to feel and be and express himself the way he is. Which is really sad. He also thinks, specifically in Korea there should be more activists and people from the community should be more vocal and be given more voice and platform on the "matter". He thinks there's way to little exposure and lots of people have a very wrong image of what the lgbtq is and thus why its so taboo and bad and evil and dirty viewed by elders especially in Korea.

Changbin - The World, 3 of Cups

I have little to nothing. I tried shiflfing multiple times even after the reading. He just didn't want to talk. After a long time of trying tho, i just got the message that he thinks we're all one and he wants to be friendly and respectfull to everyone and he can get along with anyone if he has to and if the person on the other side's also respectful to him. Even if he doesn't really like them. Tbh...i wouldn't say he's homophobic, im not getting such strong energy - but i think he's not all that into the whole thing and as he said himself, he is respect to everyone initially (until proven otherwise) and believes we all have out own right to live our life the way we want, he can be friendly with them/work with them etc, but i don't think he really understands and is all that open and accepting as for example chan seems. I think thats also why he kept quite for so long, i don't think he wanted me to know/pick up on his reservations about the matter.

Hyunjin - Ace of Swords, 6 of Pentacles

I think he would be someone that could be an activist in the future in some way or form. I think he's very supportive and i think he likes like, buying from lgbtq owned brands, or hiring lgbtq choreographer os stylist or whatever, i think he also likes supporting the cause in that way as well. I think he has opinions and i think he's actually someone to talk a lot about it when asked or if a conversation is being opened.

Han - 7 of Wands

I think he either identifies himself with the community or he has thought about it. Either or i think he is aware of lots of things going on within the community and as i said - identifies on some

Felix - King of Wands, 9 of Cups

I think those are his people! I think he feels very welcome and comfortable in a company like that, wether in real life or online. I think he enjoys the diversity and also enjoys the attention(?) idk what that exactly means but yeah he definitely enjoys the attention and positive confirmation and acknowledgement he gets in circles like that. I would say probably at school or his sisters or current circles habe lots of lgbtq people and so he's very used to/familiar with the slang, humor, dynamics etc of the community and yeah - feels, i would say either most, or very comfortable in circles like that.

Seungmin - 10 of Swords

I don't think he's very supportive. Idk if he's religious or not but im hearing "sin"🥲 And i think he has some abstract, old fashioned believes about it, like its a result of too many sins in past lives and now the people are being punished by being born as "freaks"🫠 or that those people are mentally ill or tortured in a way to have such perverted/crooked preferences. Or that its a form of self harm, torturing yourself into such an unnatural life like that🫣omg ok i think im gonna leave it at that im feeling very uncomfortable reading further into that!🥲didn't expect such strong, sharp, radical energy tbh. But on the other hand i kinda did. But still it shocked me🫣

I.N - 10 of Pentacles, King of Swords

I don't think he's all that into it, and i would say he has some prejudice but if there's a long term couple or a family and they seem happy and have kids or pets or whatever and just live their cute little happy life together - who is it hurting?! Love is love and love is beautiful💗 but i think he might be influenced either by his own experience or word of mouth or media or whatever, that lgbtq community in general is scandalous, perverted, filthy and just toxic and not a role model for young people to see and follow or be influenced by. Im also hearing "they aren't modest" and like they have a fault but don't have the decency to hide it and pretend but shove it in your face. Something like that. I think he might have some prejudices like that, but overall he isn't strongly against the community, but he's also not a supporter. And if he sees pure forms of love - no matter the sexuality of the couple he appreciates it. Cuz love is love and love is beautiful!

[bwbawa]

hello, so I'm questioning if I'm autistic so i can reach out for a diagnosis maybe, and i saw another person do this so i wanted to try it out

i wrote a list of some of the things i think that are autistic traits about me and if anyone would like to please read them and tell me if they could be autism or maybe smth else? lol, just as a big favour really. I'll give more context if any is needed, thanks so much!!

also please reblog for reach if you want to, thank you

ts bellow the cut :]

- stimming ( twirling and braiding hair, used to suck on my own hair as a kid, rocking back and forth, doing ??? weird stuff with ny mouth and fingers lol, moving legs a lot)

- echolalia; internal, repeating phrases and songs on my head, but also doing sounds with my mouth

- always feeling like an outsider. This wasn't bad for me as a kid since i was very into creepypastas and media related to being an outcast, i never related it to something bad until adolescence which im still in, and I'm more insecure now about it.

- also, very extroverted as a kid, didn't get social cues and was offensive sometimes

- couldn't and still can't control my strength very well ( sometimes things fall out of my hands or i touch someone harder than i wanted to)

- sensitive skin, to heat cold and pain

- very talkative, as a baby was LITERALLY born babbling

- not good at eye contact, either do way too much or way too little

- terrible at maths (jst not logical to me??? dk how people find them logical )

- kinda restrictive interests but no special interests

- very picky as a child, fav foods were salted noodles with ketchup or by themselves. ( still can't stand some foods and mixing some foods together )

- horrible coordination and balance: didn't learn to tie my shoes correctly, how to ride a bike or how to swim, i bought wheelies and cant use them because my balance is horrible, i run weird (like a baby kind of) and I'm always stumbling on my own feet

- again, didn't learn some stuff until grown: didn't know how to shower correctly or make my bed ( could be due to being very taken care of as a kid, aka my mom didn't let me do stuff by myself )

- terrible spacial awareness: again, stumbling with my own feet, waddling like a penguin when i walk with my friends lol

- bad perception of time

- got upset when things didn't go my way

- ran away when kids were being too loud but didn't mind big performances loud spaces

loud THUDS or sudden noises however startle me, scare me and stress me out: was and still am kind of afraid of balloons, shouting people and loud thuds. As a baby i cried when someone spoke too loudly

- lately I'm much more sensitive to stimuli than i was, could be due to heightened stress in my life: badly done beds make me want to cry, crumbs on the bed feel like hell, heat and sweating are hell, some months ago i cried because my sunglasses and headphones weren't working and there were too many sounds, my head it hurted and everything felt wrong, sent me into a kind of crisis.

- don't think I'm overly empathetic, but i have a strong sense of justice and get very upset and ill about injustices.

related to that, movies and shows that require a lot of stress i don't like, they make me feel ill and i prefer spoilers when it's like that, i get too nervous.

- socially awkward and don't know how to keep conversations going, at least small talk.

- although i used to talk a lot, nowadays i prefer to stay quiet sometimes.

- i get VERY angry and frustrated but it goes away kind of quickly?

-i used to be very loud and I still dont know how to control my tone of voice ( how loud or quiet i am) and i spoke in a very high pitched voice as a child

- i used to read a lot, went to the library in the recess instead of hanging out all the time with kids and used some complicated words that my parents didn't know i knew

- all my life i only had one close friend ( not the same, but always one)

- i think i had a specific routine of morning

- i have a hard time concentrating and being organized

- i make plans for myself in the night and get upset when OTHERS interrupt it but not when i do

- hard time knowing when to pee and when to eat

- again sensory issues, some foods make me want to puke, and wet, sticky or extremely dry hands are disgusting. Also, light touches feel like anger.

- as a kid I repeatedly watched stuff, ended up boring my family because i only wanted to watch that multiple times

- sensory seeker as a kid kind of, slept with my feet up, danced a lot (stimming?)

-i get irritated easily and can hurt people verbally

- don't know if related but i sometimes very anxious, get upset about not saying goodbye correctly to certain people, as a kid i used to cry and didnt want to go to school because of a "bad feeling" that smth bad was gonna happen, could be anxiety.

i absolutely sure there's more, but I don't wanna keep typing

just to finish, most of my circle is neurodivergent. And family wise, my sister is audhd, one cousin and uncle are autistic, my mom has adhd and two of my cousins are suspected autistic.

[nudibutch]

long post abt me thinking about my dom likes/dislikes. im musing. i feel like this is needed to get my thoughts straightened out since its been on my mind lately.

things i dont like when domming

- raw power/physically overpowering someone, roughness. for example i don't think i could ever comfortably facefuck someone Hard hard. id be too worried about hurting them and that would be on my mind the entire time. i also dont think physical force is my style. it doesnt really fit my personality

- 100% degradation. same as above. i don't enjoy being mean this way.... it feels bad to me and i would constantly worry they think i mean it

- certain power dynamics. i dont like the idea of someone subbing to me because im stronger than them, know more than them, better than them, have a position of power over them (eg prof/student rp)...

- making decisions for my partner. in general i don't think im looking for "no thoughts head empty" in this way.

- brats. i just really dont like the dynamic. a lot of the ways brats want to be dommed falls under rougher/harsher tactics and it more often than not annoys and frustrates me because it feels like im fighting someone when im just trying to cooperate. a GOOD brat dynamic requires a LOT of communication and even then i can only try and "tame" the brat (whatever its called) for so long.

- cnc. this is a super hard gray area to navigate between overstim/free use, which i can be into, but requires a LOT of communication and i would not just do it with anyone right off the bat. i still had hesitations doing this with partners i knew very well.

things i DO like when domming/the idea of when domming

- bondage. i like the look, and i like the physical helplessness it creates for a sub. i like honing sensation and this is definitely one of the ways to do it.

- experimentation/exploration. not in the literal sense - everything should always be discussed beforehand - but i like slow toying/appreciation. i dont like rushing to a destination and i think this comes out a lot with teasing.

- certain power dynamics. unlike the ones i listed before i REALLY like the idea of power in the sense of, "i safely led this person to this state of mind" and also "i can safely lead them to the kind of experience i want them to have".

- exhibition. i LOVE taking pictures, videos, etc. i like posting certain things. i really like the idea of tying up/teasing/and/or fingering a sub in front of a small audience. i like the idea of showing off not only how well i can make this person fall apart, but also how pretty they are when they do.

things i find interesting reflecting on my past dominant experiences:

- i almost never ask for the things i like when domming, and i almost never make a decision when it comes to any sexual act. i always ask, "how do you want to be fucked" and never really say, "im gonna fuck you." i think this is kind of because of my aversion to "things i don't like" #1/#3/#4. no matter how many times a sub says "i want you to do whatever you want to me", or "just fuck me", i dont really adhere to that and i dont trust it. that might be because of bad past experiences with subs without specific constraints. it might be because its undefined cnc to me, and im really worried about doing something a sub doesnt want after they say, "fuck me however you want." thats almost definitely residual from subs with shit communication skills. more on that below.

- that being said, i think there probably exists a sweet spot in the above bullet point. i SHOULD, theoretically, be doing a little more of what i like and want, as a dom, and not just exist as a 2-dimensional service top. this isnt to say that i havent enjoyed past domming experiences - i really have. but looking back, i think ive spent a disproportionate amount of time asking subs what they want and like, and less time talking about what i like. this is partly because no one really asks, and this is partly because im historically bad at speaking up. if something is Working Just Fine, im not inclined to change it - partly because im afraid of the rejection of my desires if i DO speak up (ie, they arent worth anything, which gets back to a core belief ive been addressing in therapy, etc.). this has definitely happened in the past where i try to bring up certain things and a sub expresses obvious disdain, and i backpedal it hard to assure them its not a big deal and to just forget about it. thats almost definitely a result of domming subs with poor communication/sense of self issues, and certainly not my fault, but i need to get better about vetting people that will respond maturely in a discussion about desires/kinks/etc. my dom dynamic and style is fine, but seems incredibly passive when i think about it, and it shouldnt be like that. it should be a two way street, and my partner SHOULD be expressing curiosity and excitement about learning what im into.

- a personal priority of mine is figuring out what my needs are for dom aftercare. i spend a lot of time making sure a sub is okay after, and that in and of itself can SOMETIMES be "aftercare" for me - i get to check in with them, make sure they enjoyed what happened, and that reassures me what i did was okay, too. but outside of that i dont have a clear idea. i think subs asking or offering specific things helps a lot. cuddling is important. if someone just up and leaves or is like "alright lets go out" after sex i really dont do well with the transition. i need to speak up more about this, but also i need to prioritize finding people who just know to ask or check in.

[marvus-xoloto]

idk if you've talked about this but what do you think it would take to get marvus real and truly angry? like the kind of anger that turns his eyes the same color as the base of his horns. that pure rage. how would he react to that situation? what would it take to bring him down afterward? sorry this is such a specific prompt but im curious about your thoughts on it.

I may have spoken about this before, idk! I don't mind repeating hcs because it's fun to revisit old opinions and see how they've changed :o) PLUS i am like DESPERATE for hiveswap meta/analysis content and I'm happy to make more with people <3

Anyway. I had to sit on this one for a while; really had to think about it. (Frankly, my mind is feeling unorganized so it took a little longer than I wanted haha.) My opinion isn't super formed yet, so I'm open to discussion about this one (and. everything. i like to discuss).

My gut instinct says: nothing that he'll likely experience, but let's dive deep, shall we ;o)

First off, let's talk about Marvus and emotions in general to get a baseline.

Marvus is ice cool COLD. He's very easy going, only lashing out when things that are important to him are going to shit (and even then its's not a terribly strong reaction, see: his bad end when all the clowns are fighting. "Man wtf is going on" or something like that. Marvus enjoys performing for his crowd; more on that in some other post). That being said, he recovers quickly and will generally just Not Get His Hands Dirty (come on troll nostradamus letz skeet skoot).

He is in control of himself. He has to be.

In my opinion, this indicates that he has a very high emotional IQ. He has to have a high emotional IQ as both an artist and a manipulator (some might say these two things are one and the same for him). Not much shocks him, nothing can really get to him.

This does mean that while he is generally friendly, it's not easy to actually get close to him unless it's his idea. That's not relevant here, though, haha.

Here's another part of Marvus that explains his anger response: he always has a plan. The gears in his head are always turning; he's very intelligent. For him, anger doesn't solve any of his problems or bring him closer to his goals: he needs to be approachable (see: with Joey, how he manipulates her [don't get me started on their clown and kid friendship it fucks me up sooo bad]), and he needs to appear only as threatening as he needs to. He's quick to improvise (see how he protects Joey in the purple car at the end of act 3).

So. What gets to him!

In my opinion, the only two things that have the potential to get him this angry are:

-> Lack of privacy

Marvus needs to keep his secrets in order to, well, do what he does. This leads him to the instinct to keep his personal life and secrets VERY well hidden. Even if it's not a big deal on the surface, something like the name of his matesprit dropping or tracks leaking (that he didn't stategically leak himself) might frustrate him more than the average person. Something like explicit pictures of him, or something that someone could use as a metaphorical thread to follow towards his motivations or his ego; these might make him actually pissed.

That being said, though, I genuinely can't see him getting red-eyed angry about this. Generally, I do see him as someone who enjoys getting out of trouble, even if he's not thrilled about it at first. Like playing a puzzle! I'll leave it open as a possibility, however. What I really think could get to him is...

-> Knowing that he is, for whatever reason, not free or otherwise helpless

This is more esoteric and, frankly, extremely rare in his life.

Marvus really does not like the idea of having no freedom. We can infer from his general dislike of seadwellers combined with his ideas to "shake up" the hemospectrum (emphais on "shake up," notice that he never mentions improving it) that it's less about inequality and more about inconvenience. He dislikes that anyone might have percieved power over him (notice during his diatribe that he does view purple blooded trolls as unquestionably stronger and more influential than the caste above, and how he doesn't do this for say, bluebloods, who are a caste below but still in a position of relative power).

But having a plan is pretty much the core of Marvus's id. Not having that? Losing that sense of himself? Failing? I can see this genuinely making him rage-y angry.

Calming him down is simple: find him a solution. He's timeboud, thus goal based. He needs to have a focus point, something to reach for.

Anyway! Hope that made sense!

[autogynocrat]

going on anon instead of commenting because im closeted but abt the they/them degendering post. ur very correct but you also imply that trans men dont share this experience. i am a trans man and have also experienced they them degendering. im not trying to be rude, correct you, or disuade the conversation from acknowledging trans women. im also not denying it if you are trying to say that this is a WORSE issue for trans women - because it could be, i wouldn't know. i just think it does a disservice to the conversation to act like degendering is a phenomenon specific only to women. ignore this if that was just a vent post and you wherent actually trying to start a discussion, im sorry for bothering you if so. to reiterate this isn't meant to be a "making this about me" thing, it's just that ur post says directly that only trans women experience this, and that isn't true in my personal experience so I just wanted to say that bc i think that separating trans men & women from eachother TOO much in these sorta discussions can be detrimental to progress because it can create a divide that pits us against each other when truthfully we are in the same boat, even if many of our experiences differ. idk if uve maybe had an experience where a trans men invalidated u for this, and that's why u said only trans women ever get it. if that's the case it's really unfortunate- people should listen to others when they share their experiences. but it likely means that person just hasnt had that happen to him or dosent perceive it as an issue (i feel like most trans ppl would be bothered by it, but everybody's different). im sorry that people aren't respecting ur pronouns, i hope that things get better for you!

yes i think i have clarified my position after reading the tags and also reddit people accusing me of thinking trans men are oppressing me(????) its not that i dont think it happens to transmascs its that in my experience when a trans woman gets a punitive they(often during a bit dramatic internet event where she's being trial by fire'd), if she or other transfems point out that people are taking away her gender as a punishment, in my experience and observations more often than not she will be told she's crazy even by a lot of people within the community. im not saying it can't happen to transmascs im saying when it happens to transfems being dogpiled or punished nobody seems to care or notice bc its "neutral". people on tumblr have been way more chill with this and seem to understand my point but on reddit and Twitter and other spaces i see this happen a lot

basically what i was trying to vent about wasn't saying "this never happens to anyone else transmascs totally always get their gender respected" but "when this happens to trans women, we seem to be the only ones who notice it is happening to us, and people will call us crazy for noticing" that's what i meant by invisible. i don't think im erasing or denying trans mascs by saying that, i dont talk about transmasc bc i don't have life experience as one, i just have experience knowing that when this specific thing happens to trans women we get told by people of every background that it didn't happen.

hopefully this clarifies it better i dont know how much better i can say it im not making universal dogmatic statements im making experiential ones ones people keep assuming bad things about me for this post and it's frustrating

[fairycosmos]

Ya I’m really sick of asking for help. I’ve always been an extremely independent and self reliant person who has been excellent at talking care of myself and then recently (2 years) it started being too much and I did reach out for help. Therapists, doctors, loved ones, etc. All fucking failures. Many of them made things worse with psychiatric abuse! What if help isn’t a real thing? Like dead fucking ass. That’s what I can’t get over. Everybody your whole life says “Get Help!!!!” like it’s this magical thing and it’s supposed to work it does work for a lot of people! And then you try. Really, really hard - multiple times - and it does nothing. So I’m done. I just can’t get over it. The way it’s such bullshit. The way people say “there must be a solution, there must be help” Why? There doesn’t have to be anything in this world. Sometimes things don’t work out okay in the end. Everybody cut the bullshit platitudes, stop trying to make me feel better with hollow words, and shut the fuck up about getting help until you can tell me what that would actually look like that I haven’t fucking tried already. People will literally tell me “but you’re doing okay though” when I just told them I’m not. And like to anyone who happens to be reading this thinking “oh but just try again anon, it’s out there somewhere!” sorry but fuck you too. Why can’t people just admit they don’t know what they’re talking about and sometimes you can’t put yourself in another person’s shoes. Like for one, I haven’t even mentioned the specific shit I’m dealing with here lol but if I said this to anyone they’d just try to fill me up with “awwww but it’ll get better.” Go to hell.

yeahhh i totally feel you im at pretty much the same place RN like im not mad at people for being kind or hopeful but also it's like im not stupid im doing everything i can it's just not fucking working. i completely understand your frustration and i think a lot of ppl do bc unfortunately mental illness isn't black and white or straightforward lol like at all. im sorry i don't have much more to add to this but also i know realistically there's not much i cab say that will change ur situation. im just really really sorry you have to deal with it and i want you to know at the very least you're not alone in this experience. only thing i cling int is the idea that one day i will get the right help at the right time, by some miracle lmfao. X

[chronic-gastro-illness-culture]

I feel really alone and embarrassed dealing with chronic constipation (and diarrhoea from laxatives that I need to take). I also have a chronic fissure and hemmeroids. It is so painful and I don't know what to do.

that is a rlly difficult thing to live w

i dont wanna sound like im punching down or anything bc its not like any disability or chronic illness is any kind of “well off” in society but there definitely is an added stigma of having a digestive disorder

within reason bc anyone who has a chronic illness/es has ppl in there life who dont understand the ‘chronic’ in chronic illness ppl w chronic migraines or ear aches or pain or fatigue can talk abt what they r going thru even if ppl dont always understand but beyond saying “tummy hurtyy :(“ or saying ur n* or feel s* to ur stomach or vaguely indicating u r experiencing vague intestinal discomfort ppl w chronic digestive disorders rlly cant be fully open abt all the pain n suffering n even the celebrations like being constipated n finally being able to take a shit bc there is so much stigma n taboo abt “bathroom stuff”

like constipation for example is more then just cant shit it causes a whole list of physical symptoms from bloating cramps n* thats persistent n its just a miserable time n all that lain effects ur mood n mental health too

n when ppl who have other chronic disorders say things like my migraine is gone or my ear ache is gone or my flare up is over or today is a low fatigue/pain day then ppl celebrate w them yk they share in that victory but if u go around as a person who deals w constipation n say hey i finally got to poop :D ppl r like ew thats tmi i dont wanna know what u did in the bathroom

n that shame is compounded for people w chronic gastro disorders bc not only r u dealing w the inherent shame n ableism of having a chronic illness n ppl getting frustrated w u bc ur sick all the time again bc they dont understand the ‘chronic’ in chronic illness or think ur faking or exaggerating etc but then theres the extra layer of shame of having a digestive disorder n the very nature of ur chronic illness being viewed as inherently disgusting n taboo n unsanitary

n i made this blog bc sometimes u rlly do gotta be the change u wanna see in the world hahaha

anyways i cant do much for ur physical pain but ive added “#constipation” as a tag n queued up some specific constipation related posts so u can see others deal w it too n ur not alone

[automatopsy]

im actually a bit interested in what you have to say about ai generated art

like I know there are ethical ways to use ai art (only using images from consenting participants) but I assume you also have other thoughts

i have a lot of thoughts but i don't have the focus to type them all out cohesively right now. irt that specific post i got mad about people tagging as "ai art isn't real art," not mainly because i disagree (though i DO disagree), but mainly because THAT DOESN'T MATTER FOR THE CONTEXT OF THE POST AT ALL. ai generated images dominating search results, especially unlabeled, is a matter of misinformation, not art philosophy. "misinformation" doesn't feel like quite the right word here, possibly just because i associate it more with written or spoken than visual information, but it's the closest i can think of.

the only two use cases i can easily think of right now are species identification and reference images but I'm sure there's more but anyway you straight up do need clear and accurate photos for a lot of searches. and like google's been going downhill shoving sponsored shit at the top for a while now and to make it even harder to actually find what you're looking for is incredibly frustrating. infuriating even. worse if you think you got something accurate and then it wasn't and then you've already learned wrong. i feel like I'm making it sound kind of trivial but i can't articulate further points right now. whatever you get it phenomenon bad filters good to have and i reblogged to spread the filters. if you're looking specifically for ai generated images that's a different story but that's not really relevant. i haven't personally been getting a lot (as far as i can tell, which is part of the big thing) but i know it's happening.

but if search results were full of painstakingly hand-painted photorealistic anatomically-inaccurate physical paintings of every species on gods green earth it would be the exact same problem. they aren't, because nobody has time for that. who give a shit.

granted i don't think this is some insidious plot by Big AI to make people forget what a peachick looks like or whatever. i think this sort of case– specifically this sort of case– of misinformation is more by negligence than intention.

anyway yeah i AM in support of ethical image synthesis and i DO consider it art. specifically i think of it as a unique artistic medium. i also consider "unethical" (quotes only because i don't really feel like trying to define ethical and unethical right now) image synthesis to be art because art can be unethical.

there are literally actual issues to talk about, mainly a) the aforementioned and more misinformation b) the use specifically of real people's likenesses (it's very weird to me how chill even the anti-ai crowd seems to be with ai voice generation considering your voice is kind of literally part of your body) and c) The Problem Is Capitalism. but all anyone ever seems to wanna do is shit on individual ai artists and go on and on about how "this is UNCLEAN, IMPURE, AUTOMATED PLAGIARISM, this is SACRILEGE against HOLY HUMAN CREATIVITY, [some inspiration porn thrown in there too somehow]" because god forbid the average tumblr user be forced to consider a problem on a material structural level instead of an individual one

those couple people on that post may've also been just using it as their catchall tag on the topic. don't care

[thecoolerliauditore]

HEY ANON! Idk what it is but im feeling super duper extra forgiving and kind today so I've decided to actually type up a response to that ask but im answering it like this cus i don't wanna subject my followers to having to scroll thru what u wrote 👍

stuff below the cut (heed the warnings in the tags)

this is the context, for those curious

FIRST OFF this is so so so SO not okay to send to anyone but ESPECIALLY not a stranger on the internet. Anon you are so lucky I am as comfortable as I am reading and talking about depression/suicide and (I hope) you didn't send this to someone who it could potentially trigger and that I am as normal as I am and not someone who would respond to this callously.

This is such a jump from "i don't draw good", nobody on this website is your therapist or your parent and nobody owes you the time of day to hear you vent. You really don't deserve a response at all but I am doing this because 1. I am nice and very very bored and 2. I believe I used to kind of be like you so I'm somewhat sympathetic.

That being said re: the 'draw more' comic

Anon not everything is about you or directly addressed to you. The message of that comic isn't to just draw more (if anything, mindlessly grinding art isn't the most productive studying you can do once you reach a certain skill level imo), it's to illustrate your mindset and why it's flawed.

The artist in that comic is frustrated with their own progress and skill only because they cannot see the 100x amount of work their more experienced counterpart put in. That doesn't mean their own effort doesn't matter, it just means they have no sense of scale and don't understand why, when they've done so much, they aren't as skilled as those around them.

It's this mindset that inevitably leads to the assumption that other people are just born more talented or didn't have to work as hard for their skills when they certainly did (this might not have been what you intended to say but using words like "life is unfair" paints a very specific impression). Which is. Frustrating, you could imagine, for those of us who have pushed through that period of growth only to be met with "oh woe is me, not blessed by the art muse like your holiness".

I put that there because your message reminded me of it. The last thing it's meant to be is a direct message towards You to Draw More.

re: learning art

My guy nobody is happy with their art straight away. I wasn't happy with my art for like. 6 years.

Learning art is as much of a mental battle as it is a physical one. The improvement over time chart is something I've tried to keep in mind for years when it comes to those "dip" periods in which it suddenly feels like you suck.

I've seen quite a few people touch on it in recent years but the first time I saw it was in this Sycra video.

Just like a bad mental health day due to seasonal depression I found it much easier to bear once I could sense a 'dip' period incoming and braced myself for it. I even.. kind of learned to enjoy it and accept it as part of my growth process because it was a sign I was going to improve enormously in the coming month or so. but that might just be me lol.

Eitherway, hope this helps 👍speaking of that though

re: depression/suicide/mental health

Let's be honest with ourselves here there is something much deeper going on with you in your life if Drawing Pictures gets you feeling suicidal.

Art isn't this all or nothing thing, you're allowed to take breaks for years and then come back fresh, you're allowed to start drawing at age 98. There's no expiry date on it. It's not professional gymnastics.

What I'm trying to illustrate here is that art is clearly a symptom of a bigger problem in your life that has you taking this attitude with yourself and the way you talk is doing anything but helping your case. You know what's especially unhelpful tho is venting to faceless block man artists on tumblr about this who don't know your personal circumstances or like.. who you are at all. seriously.

This is a problem you're going to have to fix yourself. "seek therapy" is the stock standard answer that we would all love to accept but that isn't realistic for alot of obvious reasons. I can't say what would work for you but personally I'd advise looking to online free mental health resources (forums like reddit are a last resort but if you can find the right space for that then what works works).

If you want an artsy spin on it I'd recommend literally any number of artists' youtube videos on their artistic journeys and their own struggles with impostor syndrome, insecurities, depression, etc. Off the top of my head I recall Jazza has made a few over the years and i adore these marco bucci videos in particular.

The bottom line is that you're going to have to help yourself, Anon. You can't expect others to make themselves smaller to make you more comfortable, you have to create that space for yourself.

We can all uplift each other but no one's going to respond kindly if you come out of the gate downplaying everyone else's efforts.

[oh-my-damn]

I think it is unfair of the anon to say you're being an hypocrite for having a moment of weakness because of his character looking good, especially since you said you wont be supporting him or his work. So what Im about to say is not towards you. However i do think the blogs or people that do watch his movies yet spoke out on him being a hypocrite and for dating a racist are being hypocritical and truly not having their actions match their words just like chris. By watching his movies youre giving him views and/or putting money into his pockets just because he looks good or for whatever other reason. This is the same guy who intentionally is dating, interacting, hanging out with racists on a regular basis. I think it is hypocritical of anyone who is saying by him associating with them he is guilty by association but then will go ahead and watch his movies. If one is truly against racism, anti semitism, body shaming then watching a movie of guy who publicly is okay with spending time with people who are okay with participating in all those things is not truly being against the hate that specific groups have had to face because of them.

I absolutely agree.

But from what I've heard from most of my friends, everyone is going to watch that shit illegally, lol. Intentionally.

I kept my apple+ subscription until Sharper and then promptly cancelled it because I wanted to support Sebastian but not Chris. I will be finding that shit online, I don't want a single dime to go to him.

I also hope whoever is feeling weak (like I was) still remember everything that's been going on, so I'm hoping they're not following him or liking anything regarding this, because money and promotion is truly the only place to hit him right now to make a point.

I can't be sure what blogs you're talking about regarding this, but the ones who are my friends on here and who felt weak in the moment feel the same way as I do, as far as I know.

So while I understand it can be frustrating to see someone suddenly fangirling, it's important to remember that we, just like most of you, used to really adore and support this person. And it can be very difficult to let that go in a weak moment. As long as they find their way back and shift the focus around, I don't think you should be angry at them.

I'd rather you be angry at the people who have been supporting him and that girl this entire time. The ones who never stopped supporting. The ones who called us jealous bitter bitches, the ones who said we were just angry about him having a girlfriend.

If you want to be angry, be angry at them. Direct it towards them.

The people who never spoke up, not even once, the people who continuously support him vocally, the people who talk shit about those of us who call them out, they are who you should be angry at.

They're the ones who are fucked up hypocrites or bad people all around. Ignoring it does not mean it's not happening and it boils my blood when I see them complaining about us or "having to block us cus we're being haters."

We're not being haters, we're calling out injustice.

Please, I beg you, be angry at them instead. In my opinion they deserve it way more than the people who had a momentary lapse of judgement.

[weaselishmcdiesel]

In my defense, the accidental lie has been going on for 4 years and each time I run into HS content I send it to this guy... which probably has worsened the lie, so like at this point I might as well go out with a bang

Also please please do give me more info on other characters you feel comfortable with, cuz we weren't sure what we were gonna play so we are doing 3 one-shots (Im DMing all 3, pain) before setting on one, so it might be a bit extra suspicious if only 1 homestuck npc shows up and I don't know enough about Nepeta to confidently make her show up 3 times and make it seem like she's my fav and I know all about her

This shit is so funny hshfjfjgjgj I do hope you manage to sneak by undetected if only so you can say you did such a good job pretending that you fooled a real fan XD and hopefully your friends a good sport

And sure! Maybe I can help strengthen those characters you say you know? They’re the more popular ones so I sorta know more about them than others.

I WROTE THIS IN MY NOTES APP THIS IS SUPER LONG ACTUALLY AND IM SO SORRY TRY TO SKIM IT <- was asked to talk about homestuck and thought was be able to keep it brief. Wasn’t.

Karkat - I was obsessed with him then and I’m obsessed with him now he’s a loud whining piece of shit with a pretty bad attitude. Mainly a character based on him would yell as their normal speaking volume, swear a LOT and also creatively, but is also hiding an insecurity. The thing about him is he has a mutant blood color that would get him killed on his planet- so he can’t let anyone find out, he can’t accidentally bleed or cry (tears are their blood color) in front of anyone. So maybe your character is also hiding something super important? He gets along best with people who don’t really take his bitching to heart since his bitching is his way of showing real concern- he does actually care about his friends no matter how many times he calls them idiots. Also is really interested in romance as a concept and likes romcoms. He uses dual sickles as a weapon- I figure you may want this information since they’re dnd characters.

Dave - Cool kid, sunglasses he never takes off, he raps and makes beats on his turntables. He’s obsessed with irony and sorta doesn’t know how to enjoy anything without being ironic about it? Enjoys frustrating people WITH his irony. I struggle with characterizing him bc I’ve consumed a lot of fanon, but maybe that will make your presentation of him more authentic XD? A safe bet is to make your character kinda deadpan in tone but still be able to crack jokes and act pretty silly. If given the opportunity to be the hero he will not take it, he rejects the idea that he should be anyone important. He fights with swords and has a tendency to break them- but still uses them anyway. He gets the power to time travel later on, and can stop a person in time too, dunno how you’d implement that tho.

Vriska - … very very tough for me to summarize her… but I can say that a character based off her has killed one friend, paralyzed one friend, and blinded one friend, but then feel little to no remorse about any of it because they believe they’re the main character and nothing bad will happen to them since it’s all part of their story (though, she blinded that one person because that person blew up her left arm and left eye BECAUSE vriska killed that one friend). Ahem. Got carried away. Your character just did some pretty bad shit that makes them seem untrustworthy. She’s very lucky tho- it’s part of her powers- so your character should be too. She has a spider motif but it only really manifests in her adoration for spiders and her way of typing, so you may not have to worry about that. She’s popularly called the “huge 8itch” if that helps. She fights by rolling die? And depending on how they land they’ll do more or less damage. I don’t really know the specifics? But her luck powers enable her to roll exactly what she wants every time

Rose - rose is also tough for me… she’s a writer and can use a lot of big words and constructs sorta needlessly complicated sentences but she’s got a lot of wit and loves being sarcastic. She’s.. gothy? Has an interest in the occult and occult myths and she’s also pretty fascinated by wizards but I think tries to be lowkey about it? She’s a very smart and clever person too- so much so that in fanon people tend to forget she’s also kinda silly. Sorry that’s all I can say ^^; she fights using a pair of knitting needles- eventually they can also conduct magic and do damage that way. The power she gets later on is- sorta like knowing the future? She can only know the GOOD outcome but she knows specifics so that she can tell her team how they can end up getting the good outcome- she’s the strategist of the group

John - the leader of the kids! suuuper cheery and has the ability to pretty much make friends with anyone. He ends up being naive tho and may not realize when someone is trying to take control of him. He’s very interested in pranks and overall being a silly goofster ✨ if it ever comes up under no circumstances will he eat baked confections. No cakes especially. He loooves Nicolas cage and ghostbusters and some other older movies I can’t remember- other characters just tend to say he likes bad movies but he adamantly believes they’re very good. So maybe your character can also defend something that may objectively be kinda bad? His iconic weapon class is hammers 💪💪 but he also gets wind powers later- he can summon tornados or even fade into air to travel in the wind and appear somewhere else

—

It may be helpful to point out for nepeta- she has a best friend who’s very concerned about her well-being, equius. He even so much as controls what she can and can’t do (kinda only about certain things that are super dangerous). I don’t really like him as a character, but your npc might be hesitant to do something before asking their best friend for permission. He’s a stickler and very no-nonsense and will likely deny anything too dangerous? But also he’s incredibly terrifyingly physically strong- so your pcs wouldn’t win a fair fight with him. He also sucks up to any royalty. If any pc is royalty he’ll do anything they say. A trademark of his is that he gets very sweaty very easily and also very much likes horses. Also he likes milk. Idk. Nepeta’s weapons are these retractable claw glove things- and equius WOULD use a bow and arrow but breaks every single bow he picks up because he can’t control his strength. Instead, he fights with his fists 👍

—

Very quick rundown of the main characters I haven’t mentioned yet-

TROLLS

(they’re all kinda friends but I point out their most important relationships, ones your pcs may ask about, they’re also ordered from lowest to highest class) kept these summaries vague so you can insert your npcs in their place?

Aradia - she’s dead don’t worry about her, if asked she was into roleplay, archaeology, and adventuring. friends with Terezi, dated sollux, killed by vriska if you need to know

Tavros - he’s the one who’s paralyzed from the waist down, he has no confidence whatsoever, likes the troll equivalent of Pokémon, has a bull motif, has lots of conflicting feelings about vriska (is constantly manipulated by her), and is friends with Gamzee. Attacks with a jousting spear

Sollux - likes coding and computers, has a red and blue and duality motif, speaks with a lisp, also likes bees a lot. Will not eat honey if asked tho, friends with karkat and hates Eridan. Dates Aradia and feferi. Attacks with his very strong telepathic powers, could kill him if he’s over exerted

Karkat - friends with sollux, kanaya, Jade, has a crush on Terezi but is normal about being friends with her, and is sorta chill with Gamzee and Eridan. Dates Dave but really really hated him to begin with so be careful, may say he hates Dave if asked- they date late into homestuck… would say he hates everyone if asked. Except kanaya

Nepeta - BEST friends with equius, kinda friends with Terezi? Roleplayed with her sometimes but terezi’s a little mean about it cant tell

Kanaya - she’s a very reliable friend, but fears she’s too meddlesome. interested in fashion and is also a vampire 👍 very good friends friends with karkat and dates rose (do not separate) Hates Gamzee and Eridan if asked. Attacks with a chainsaw that can also transform into lipstick

Terezi - LAWFUL whatever your character is theyre lawful. Loves dragons and she’s blind but she can smell/taste colors to the point where she can kinda see? She has something very complicated going on with vriska (she’s the one vriska blinded, but still sorta loves her as a friend). Attacks with a blade concealed in her walking stick

Vriska - she lost her left arm and eye but she gets a robot arm. Has something complicated with Tavros (kinda crushes on him kinda hates him) and Terezi, turned down a confession from Eridan (but he asks out everyone so it’s not that big a deal) but they were friends in the past

Equius - ehhhh I don’t like him idk he has a crush on Aradia and it’s weird, big thing about him is he makes robots idk. Brutally protective of nepeta- they’re best friends

Gamzee - stoner who’s (and I mean this literally) religiously devoted to clowns- wears face paint all the time and has clown horns everywhere for him to honk. Friends with tavros and karkat but everyone (but tavros) sorta treats him like a useless stoner when he’s just trying to be friendly (ahem. Until some crazy story stuff goes down but i won’t spoil it in case you read) should not be without his substance for too long or people will die not exaggerating. Attacks with clubs.

Eridan - classist royalty, fish guy pirate, interested in war and strategy, makes fish puns I think. Has a crush on Feferi but they’re supposed to be best friends. Used to be friends with vriska but confessed to her. Hates Sollux bc when Feferi stopped being best friends with Eridan, she went on to date Sollux. He’s rizzless. Completely rizzless. Attacks with a cool harpoon gun. Doesn’t believe in magic if asked.

Feferi - THE empress like she’s as royal as you can get, but she’s in waiting for when the current empress passes. she’s also a fish but she’s not classist- she cares a lot for people and animals and would abolish the ableist classist regime of the planet they live on if she had the power, until then she tends to aquatic animals n stuff (not afraid to kill people if necessary tho, she knows how to survive). Friends with Eridan but only to keep him from killing people, stops being friends him when there are no more people TO kill around. Dates Sollux later. Also makes fish puns. Attacks with a two pronged trident.

—

Wow this is getting so long I’m so sorry

THE KIDS

I won’t go into the alpha kids or the other set of 12 trolls bc I’m very rough with them and also they’re not as important?

Dave - raised by his older brother who taught him sword fighting but was also super neglectful as a gaurdian and traumatized him with puppets and constant sword training and pranks. All the kids are very good friends with each other so nothing of note there but he goes on to date karkat- if asked tho he canonically was kinda struggling with finding out he was gay, though if your PCs don’t want to deal with that then do what fanon does and ignore that (I also ignore it). He’s also technically siblings with rose but doesn’t share the mom TECHNICALLY. If asked he doesn’t have a mom unless you want me to go into the alpha kids OTL

John - has just a dad who cares about him very much. And if asked regards his late grandmother very fondly. He doesn’t go on to date anyone but he does kinda hate Terezi? Troll romance is complicated I shouldn’t explain it. He’s technically siblings..? With Jade? But they don’t share the grandparents or the dad.

Rose - dates kanaya I’m serious do not separate them. She has a mom who’s an alcoholic but has a pretty humorous oneupmanship going on between them. She’s technically siblings with Dave but doesn’t share the brother

Jade - ok. So. She was raised by an omnipotent dog. Her grandpa died when she was very young and her dog (bec) took care of her. She’s very cheery - even cheerier and sweeter than John but she will not take any shit she’s not naive like him. She’s interested in science and robots and botany she’s very good at growing plants but she lived all alone on an island for most of her life. She always had visions of the future growing up but was never creeped out by them, always staying optimistic. Her main weapon is a rifle- not sure how that translates in dnd? She later gets the power to manipulate space itself- make things massive or very tiny, she gets telepathy and can move objects around at near the speed of light, and can teleport. She also becomes part dog later. I’d say she’s lawful good? Probably easy bet. She’s friends with karkat, kinda friends with Feferi, in one universe she dated an alternate version of Dave- not the Dave your PCs would meet, so if asked I dont think she exactly had a crush on him- I believe they both said their feelings are complicated. Technically siblings with John but like I said don’t share the parents

—

Forever apologizing for the wall of text. I’m hoping that, having been a dm once myself, you were expecting a lot of info..? No matter what tho I didn’t write as much reading all of homestuck is worth XD

[cyberdragoninfinity]

hey, do you have any advice on how to like... get into duel links late, or do you know anyone who does? i played the game for a bit at launch but stopped bc reasons, but some of the stuff ive seen people talking about since then of the story of the game itself and such seems really interesting... but it seems like a lot of that stuff has been stuff that played out in events which im assuming are not available anymore

god i wish I could tell you there's some good concrete youtube videos that go over the whole timeline and break down the lore and such but!! there really ISN'T. AND IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING. There's some videos that read over some of the conversations from more recent events/talking about VRAINs' world potential specifically, but there's rly nothing broad because apparently no youtuber is keeping track of this 🥴 UGH.

But you're right, Duel Links "lore" as it were is primarily sprinkled into character unlock events, and after those run twice you can't just pull them up and play them again. However there are some tumblrs I've found that do a pretty good job archiving the dialogue from those events/some of the screenshots from them! Which unfortunately as it is rn is kind of the best it can get.

Thewittyphantom's duel links tag is tremendously valuable to me when I need to go read over old event conversations from stuff I missed/played so long ago I don't really remember. Lots and lots of transcribed cutscenes and some screenshots.

fortuneangel's duel links tag is also a good resource for older events. Lots of screenshots of conversations and some reflections on plot development!!

again, there unfortunately isn't really any concrete laid out timeline for all of this that I know has been made (I've been trying to comment on and point out any new lore developments that happen in events as they happen, but even I don't really have a good grasp on what lore got relied before I started playing in 2021), so if you want to really dig deep into it What All is Going On you do have to sort through some old event conversations and sniff around for any reddit or tumblr posts of people talking about it. As for getting back into the game itself, that part isn't too too hard!! If you're willing to learn any new summoning mechanics that have debuted since you last played, at least keeping up with the current events and progressing through ingame duels isn't really gatekept at all, you can pick it back up and play pretty easy at any time!

I've also noticed, for as insane as the lore gets, whenever new "plot relevant bits" drop, the characters do make a bit of a point of mentioning offhand things we learned last time, presumably to help the audience recap it, or help new players follow along without too much trouble! So that's useful at least. It's a bit like how characters in the show(s) will discuss things that happened in the last episode pretty frequently. At the end of the day the lore in Duel Links is secondary to Konami Wanting You to Play Yugioh the Card Game, so they want new and returning players to have an easy time figuring out at least the light gist of what's going on. broadly speaking.

ANYWAY I hope at least some of that is useful? :0c If anyone else has any good reddit posts that go over the DL lore or any other useful resources, drop 'em in the replies below! Good luck out there!

[khodorkovskaya]

19.04.23

im getting my very own ice skates this saturday and i couldn't be more excited!!!!!! <3

yesterday my mum and i talked about how i should apply for masters bc the deadline is on the 30th. and it's very annoying idk. does anyone else hate talking about potential? like the whole "but you have so much potential!" talk. idk, it frustrates me.

i had a classmate back in igcse and my bestie and i were laughing about this the other day. because this girl took herself sooo seriously! she had to have A's in all of her subjects and then when she did the IB she had to have the highest score in everything. and then she got into this very prestigious uni and did ted talks and was like a perfect student in everything. and everyone was like "ohh she has so much potential, she's so good". and yes, the girl was very smart and talented that's for sure. and now she works for heinz. and idk, im probably being mean but like there's something so funny about it. like she put so much effort into studying and doing all this extracurricular stuff and she excelled at everything for what? to work for a ketchup company? like adjdhjdfh she sells beans to people 😭😭😭 anyway, it's probably not funny but my bestie and i were like rolling on the floor about this the other day lmao. and i really don't want to work for a ketchup company, that's all im saying.

because like what does "having potential" even mean? like being a shop manager is not my level, but writing emails for a ketchup company is? i really don't get it.

anyway, i thought a bit about B again bc i saw him the other day. and i came to a conclusion that i want my next relationship to be the opposite of what we had with B. here's what i mean:

i want my next relationship to be a friends to lovers kind of thing. like i want to be friends with the person first. to be sure that we have things in common and like common activities and hobbies and stuff.

i want looks and all the physical stuff to be secondary. so again, i want to be with this person because they're my friend, not because i find them physically attractive. if they happen to have dark brown eyes, that's a bonus. but not like a must must. i don't want to be in a relationship with someone just because they're hot.

i want to take a long time before having sex with them bc im very sensitive and emotional and i need to feel safe. so, again, friendship first and sex comes much later. if there's no sex in the relationship, im fine with that too.

i want us both to have similar values and know what we want out of the relationship, not like a "fuck around and find out" kind of thing. so this year im really focusing on trying to figure out what my values are and what i want/need. and i want my partner to have figured things out too.

so yeah, this might happen next year or in 10 years or when im retired or maybe even never. but that's how i want things now. either this kind of relationship or celibacy, ive decided.

i was very happy with this conclusion and then the sun set and nostalgic thoughts about B came up again... i looked at photos of us when we went to sarajevo last year. and there's this feeling of like... impending doom (not to be dramatic lol) when i look at them. like i look at us smiling and being silly together on these photos and the voice in my head is like "he doesn't know yet...". and for some reason it's specifically "he doesn't know" and not "we don't know". although back then i didn't think we were gonna break up either, so i didn't know either. but maybe my subconscious knew..? because i felt so guilty while looking at these photos. as if im only pretending to smile in them and im tricking him into believing that everything is fine. it feels like there's a countdown on these photos. like "only 2 months left...", specifically "he doesn't know that there's only 2 months left... tick-tock-tick-tock...". maybe i did know on some level?

[pumpkinland]

Yo, hope you've had a good week, goodass blog, hope this isn't weird but I need some input. Do you like...find it difficult at all to make/keep trans male friends? I've had awful luck with meeting other trans guys and all my friends are now cis men, cis and trans women, and effectively anyone else who isn't a trans man. Struggled to get along with every trans man I've met, a lot of them turned out to be awful, some ended up detransitioning (but had wavering identities leading up to it), and I have no idea what the hell is going on because I do try to find other trans men to befriend, and it just never works. It's put a massive wedge between me and other trans men to the point where I've basically dropped the trans label in defeat and have been socially stealth for 5+ years both out of frustration but also out of general fears of transphobia. Have I just had shit luck or is it actually difficult in general or something?

Hi thanks so much for reaching out to me! :)

Actually yes I do have this issue. I have a few trans male friends, namely my best friend and a few younger friends I've known for years who are 18-20, but in general I do find it difficult to get along with other trans men.

In my experience, I've found that a lot of trans people put a lot more emphasis on their trans status than on their gender identity (in other words, they identify as trans first and their gender second, im the opposite - I don't "identify" as trans, it's just objectively what I am) and I know a lot of people do that because they find value in the community of being trans and talking to other trans people.

I haven't had that experience though, because what I found through a lot of discussion of our experiences and what it means to be trans and what gender means to us, I have found that for better or worse most trans people, and especially trans men, have very different experiences from mine, but they will often be so used to relating to other people sttictly on the basis of being trans that it almost feels like they get uncomfortable with not understating or relating to my journey at all and essentially try to force me into boxes they're comfortable with to try and relate to me and it gets really uncomfortable and dehumanising really fast. I'm lucky to have a few trans male friends, and a few transfem friends, but yeah, most of my friends are cis people - ironically they just tend to get it better. And I'm not saying all transmascs are nonbinary, but the vast majority of the ones I've met were, and that makes it difficult for us to relate on a lot of things and they tend to find me toxic and hypermasculine for like. Being a man I guess. But that could be part of it? Basically, I think unless you're a very specific kind of trans person it can be very difficult to relate to other trans people because they kind of create these little bubbles where they only interact with people like them and they get so used to it that when they meet any trans person they expect you to be the same and if you're not it's like... They start feeling panicked and threatened. I understand why they create these little community bubbles, and I'm not begrudging that, but it does make it hard to be an individual with unique experiences.

My best advice is I stopped trying to make friends with people on the basis of trans status a while ago. Like, I don't avoid other trans people or anything, but I don't try to befriend people with the intention of having more trans friends or anything. Trans people on this website will have you believe that cis people are the devil and all want us dead, but I have a lot of very kind, genuine, respectful and supportive cis friends, male and female, who never make me feel like an outsider or less than them, which is actually more than I can say about old trans friends.