#im not ready to write it 🥹

[gluion]

DUCKIE 😭🙏🏼 ur feedbacks will always have me on the floor!!!! like i kid you not it makes me so happy!! i am so glad that u enjoy this baby 😭

for starters, THANK YOU?!? LIKE WTFF THIS MEANS SO MUCH TO ME 😭🙏🏼 esp as someone who is still lost abt their own writing style, it means so much to me 🥹 im so glad i was able to capture the slice of life feel very well </3

IM ALSO SO GLAD THAT THE PLATONIC LOVE IS TRANSLATING SO WELL!!! ugh im fr someone who appreciates and adores friendships because they are so meaningful 🥲 i feel like doing friends to lovers means having to explore the importance of platonic love as well!! friends lov each other and only want the best for each other!!! to lift each other up and to see each other achieve different heights!!! and i really think not exploring those themes would be a disservice to the trope overall

i am also glad u felt so much from the way i wrote changmin along with his dynamic with reader ❤️‍🩹 when i was first writing this chapter, i wasnt sure if it was friendship-y enough with all the physical touch but i realized something—why should it matter? what we consider friendship is up to us ❤️‍🩹 we all hav diff love languages and i know that my friends are the type of ppl to care abt how to make sure their friends feel their love. and it also just helps that changmin has already developed feelings to begin with teehee

and THANK YOU. for loving that line 🥹🙏🏼 when i thought of the title for this fic, i knew that i wanted to incorporate the idea of physical touch for it is changmin’s love language.

the term “bruised hearts” is, of course, representative of reader for one main reason: they have never experienced the romantic love they desire. and even if they have told themselves they are fine with where they are, they are constantly reminded of smth they have never experienced. and i think that having to live under the notion that u are “undesirable” (for a lack of a better term) does bruise the heart. and i think thats why in this fic, i highlight platonic love so much for it helps in supporting reader. changmin plays a big role in reminding them of how much they do deserve love—that has always come from him as a friend.

sorry i rambled alot just because i feel like there are just some layers that might not be obvs to many (which is fine tbh! just like a lil trivia) !! but again Thank u SO MUCH DUCKIE!!! it truly means alot.

a part of me is scared to end this story for i have grown so attached to reader and changmin 🥹 i thought writing this would make me feel so loser and bitchless but honestly, it makes me appreciate my friends even more ❤️‍🩹

[part two] of linked arms and bruised hearts (you are the reason i keep on going) ➵ ji changmin

non-idol!ji changmin x reader, slight non-idol!jacob bae x reader

you and changmin have been best friends since high school, having seen each other at their best and worst. now in your second year of university, you are given the opportunity to work with the unattainable 5th-year you have had a crush on since—jacob bae. with your best friend on the receiving end of your rambles, you could only hope for something to come out of your time working with jacob. that is until changmin decides he wants something more out of his relationship with you.

genre/warnings ➵ friends to lovers, slow burn, so much FLUFF, afab reader (they/them pronouns), mentions of suggestive dreams, a lot of publication talk (sorry i am a writer), sunwoo is a STILL a shithead, a lot of sentimental talks between changmin and reader, so much platonic love in general!!, feelings are so weird, a lot of flashbacks, going back home for the winter break </3, too domestic (not for the faint of heart), if denial is a river in egypt then reader is SWIMMING in it, i'm afraid to say that reader is stupid (and can changmin just not hear?)

word count ➵ 27.7k words (currently sitting at 46.5k words in total... expect more when the final part drops [projected to be 60k words in total])

parts ➵ [one] [two] [part three coming soon...]

taglist ➵ @deoboyznet @kflixnet @blankjournal @winterchimez @sungbeam @miusgirl @jenoscafe

a/n ➵ expect some crazy realizations to happen! anyway, it took me three weeks to deliver this?? crazy!! i expected to only post two parts but i don't think tumblr can handle 45k words in one post </3 along with that, i wanted to get this out before i officially enter my 3rd year in uni!!! please expect for the third part to be delivered a little later since i need to prioritize my academics and newspaper work (and possibly another oneshot involving a kim sunwoo... oops?) hope you enjoy the CRAZY slow burn my lovelies. i would really appreciate it if you could take the time to like and reblog this post and part one!

want to be part of my taglist? send me an ask! masterlist

Since Changmin had dreamt about you, he found himself unable to talk to you. Everything reminded him of you; the songs he would listen to on the way to school which you introduced him to; the cafe he would spend his free time in where you two usually studied; even phrases he would hear people say that you tend to frequent when speaking. It did not help that you were somewhat blowing up the group chat more than usual.

With all these reminders of you, Changmin always found his mind drifting back to the view of you in his dream. He has never seen you as a potential crush—let alone found you attractive. After all, he knew you when you first wore boxy glasses and cringe graphic tees (to which you donated).

You were never someone he desired. And yet, when you straddled him and said his name as if it were laced with nectar, you never left his mind. The imaginary tension between you two made him weak to the knees. And just from the fictional distance of your face from his, he could feel his breath hitch at the scenario constantly playing out in his head. That dream only pushed him to face thoughts he was not willing to entertain.

Over the days, you two have not been able to hang out. While he was trying to find ways to avoid you, you understood it as him being busy with his other obligations. That is until you spot him on campus.

Done with his last class for the day, Changmin exits the building with his eyes locked on the bus stop—his one ticket back home. He only cared to be snuggled into his sheets that were newly washed and fall into the shackles of a nap. That is until he hears someone call out his name.

As he looks for the source, his eyes land on you who is seated on one of the picnic tables with your laptop out. The moment you shoot him a smile, flashes of his dream play out; the way his name rolls off your tongue; the sensation of your breath that hovers over his lips; the legs that caged him in place. And suddenly, all he could do was point his thumb in the direction of the athletics center before he bolted. He could only hope that you do not cross paths with anyone from the dance team.

Clearly bummed out about not being able to spend some time with your best friend before your night class, you let out a sigh. You understood that he had a dance practice to worry about. With the way he seemed frazzled, it made sense that he was rushing to meet his team on time. That is until you are surprised by Sunwoo’s appearance at your table an hour later.

“Yo!” He greets you before taking a seat across from you, a bottle of green juice in his hands. “What are you up to?”

With a frown on your face, you ask, “Don’t you guys have practice?”

You are greeted by your best friend’s confused face before he brings out his phone. “I do?” He asks himself as he scrolls through it.

“Yeah, I saw Changmin like an hour ago and he seemed like he was rushing to the athletics center,” you sigh as you fix the document’s format that had your notes for the next class. “Unless I understood him wrong. I don’t even know, he kind of pointed somewhere and disappeared.”

Sunwoo hums as he types away on his phone. As he scratches the back of his head, you notice his expression shift into an all-knowing one. “Oh, it’s just for him and some other members. I think they’re just practicing a certain segment,” he shares before stowing his phone away.

“Anyway, I just remembered I have some work to catch up on so I’ll see you tomorrow or whenever!” And the next thing you know, your best friend left as quickly as he came. You stare at Sunwoo’s figure which continued to get smaller before he was out of sight. Before you could think much of his odd behavior, you were hit with the reality that you needed to attend class.

“Okay, you need to fess up on why you’re avoiding Y/N,” Sunwoo says as he enters Changmin’s room with a small yawn following.

Currently, Changmin is rolled up in his sheets as he scrolls through YouTube shorts on his phone. The sudden appearance of his best friend only made him frown. He did not expect to have Sunwoo pester him today, but he remembers the conversation he had with him through text not too long ago. 

zzoguri 🦝: are u at the dance studio? zzoguri 🦝: did coach change the plans? i thought today was our break qramzi 🐿️: yea there’s no practice zzoguri 🦝: okay so why did y/n just say you went to practice? qramzi 🐿️: i don’t want to talk about it zzoguri 🦝: spill or i tell them qramzi 🐿️: yah! can’t i have my own secrets? zzoguri 🦝: you can have secrets but i don’t know why you’re lying to y/n qramzi 🐿️: ugh fine qramzi 🐿️: i’ll tell you when i see you

“Sunwoo, couldn’t this wait until tomorrow?” Changmin groans before shooting his friend a glare. Sunwoo plops on his bed while he still wears his outside clothes, making him even more furious. “Yah, Kim Sunwoo! I just washed these sheets.”

He only shrugs and says, “Okay, that doesn’t matter. Now, tell me!” Changmin sighs over his best friend’s persistence.

Fully aware that Sunwoo was not planning to leave any time soon, he found himself pausing the shorts. He sat up and bit the inside of the cheek.

Out of all the people he had to talk to about this dilemma with you, he did not feel comfortable revealing it to Sunwoo—the one person who knew you inside and out. Who could blame him? Having to talk about his dream about you to your best friend since grade school put him in a spot where he was seriously debating on which situation is better: this or being eaten whole by a shark?

That is until Chanhee walks into the room with his eyes on his phone. “Changmin-ah, there’s this–oh, Sunwoo! You’re here.” His eyebrows shoot up at the sight. “Did I interrupt something?”

His appearance is only to be taken as a gift from the universe. With a victorious smile playing on Changmin’s lips, he shrugs before saying, “No, I was just telling Sunwoo that I’d see him tomorrow.”

But the man was not going to make this easy for him. “He’s avoiding Y/N.” As soon as those words leave his best friend’s (read: traitor for life’s) mouth, Chanhee gasps as he stares Changmin down.

“What?! Why?!” He says as he takes a seat on the bed. Sunwoo shrugs and points at the guy who was constantly dodging their questions.

Now under the scrutiny of his two best friends, Changmin had no choice but to answer. His hands seemed bound even if no visible ropes were holding them down. He scratches the back of his neck and says, “Just, don’t judge me. And don’t tell Y/N.” The two only give him a look as if he stated the obvious.

Changmin knew he could trust these two with any secret and trouble he faced. In the times he desperately needed to talk about stuff that should never concern you, he always found himself talking to them. However, them seeing his reluctance had them worried about what might have gone down between you and him.

“It’s just… this dream; it felt so real for a second,” he starts as he plays with the loose ends of his blanket.

And not even a second passes when Chanhee exclaims the words, “Oh my god, did you have a sex dream about Y/N?!” He eyes him up and down.

“W-what? No!”

“Oh, I see why you’ve been avoiding them,” Sunwoo chuckles, ignoring his best friend’s protests.

He grows frustrated as the two continue to jump into assumptions. “No, that’s not it! Won’t you let me finish?!” As soon as the two pipe down, he lets out a sigh.

“Nothing happened like that. We just… almost kissed,” he whispers those last words. This icky feeling he can only think of as shame starts to take over his limbs. But when hears a laugh leave Chanhee’s mouth, he furrowed his eyebrows.

“Almost?” Chanhee smacks Changmin’s arm. “Then why are you so tense? If nothing happened, then it shouldn’t be something to worry about.”

Sunwoo shakes his head before sharing his two cents. Clearly, he wanted to play the shithead in a situation like this (like he always does).“No way, I’m starting to think Changmin is developing a crush on Y/N.” He gives the stressed-out boy a teasing smile. “Aren’t you?”

“W-what?! No! I’m not, what the fuck?”

From his panicked answer, Chanhee shakes his head with a small smile on his face. “See, then it means nothing,” He attempts to calm the situation down as he stands up from the bed. “It’s normal to just have dreams like that. It won’t mean much unless you put meaning into it.”

His best friend is right; it is normal to have nonsensical dreams. Changmin has had dreams about outrageous events such as Gana (his pet poodle) learning how to talk, his sisters deciding to move back into the family home, and even coming face-to-face with his celebrity crush. These dreams are not always manifestations of what he desires—which is why he does not understand why he is still riled up about some dream where you two almost kissed.

“You know, Chanhee is right. I like to tease and all but it is normal,” Sunwoo starts off. “But you shouldn’t be avoiding Y/N because of it. It’s not fair to them, you know?”

All Changmin could do was hum as he looked down at his hands. Once again, his best friend is right; there should be no reason for him to avoid you when you did nothing wrong.

“I know. It all just felt weird, and I think I needed to find some time to get over it.” As he admits that to his friends, he is only met with their smiles.

“You’ll be fine,” Chanhee reassures him before ruffling his hair. “Just remember that it’s just Y/N. There’s nothing to be afraid of.”

It is easier said than done for Changmin to go back to his usual antics with you. No matter how many times Chanhee tried to reassure him, it felt like something was holding him back—the idea of you reading right through him. It is not like you know all his thoughts. But if he stood before you, he felt like he would be at your mercy—letting you know all of his desires without any chance to rethink his actions. That is why when you approach him and Sunwoo during lunch, he is thrown off guard.

It is not like he was not expecting you to see him. After all, the spot they were staying in is in a corner on campus where the friend group would spend breaks together. It is an old picnic table whose wood was covered in old graffiti and smudges. Changmin was sure that this table was the last old one on campus for its wood is discolored as sand. Placed in a secluded area on campus behind the athletics center but still close to the publication room, it became the perfect spot for your friend group.

Sunwoo looks up at you in the middle of slurping his ramyeon noodles as you set your hands down on the table. Unlike your usual collected look and happy-go-lucky nature, the two noticed your disheveled appearance; eyebags are unseemly heavier than usual; shoulders slouched from how fatigued you have been.

“Are you okay?” Sunwoo decides to ask as soon as you take a seat in front of the two. You only let out a groan before your head rests on crossed arms. Without having to hear a verbal answer from you, your two best friends shared a look of worry.

Changmin has to swallow his shame; he needs to know what is going on with you. He could not let a dream hold him back from checking up on you, especially at a time when you needed him the most.

So his hand reached out for your arm, rubbing it ever so slowly. “Hey, what’s up?”

As you let yourself look up at your two friends whose faces were full of concern, you let out a sigh. “I’m just stressed out. You know, it’s November already so I’ve got some heavier projects to accomplish.”

“And I’m assuming the pub work is added stress,” Sunwoo chimes in before taking another slurp of noodles.

You nod and say, “Yeah. Right now, Jacob’s schedule is entirely different from mine so we’ve been working separately for the most part.” As soon as your chin rests back on your crossed arms, you let out another sigh and stare off into nowhere. “I miss him,” you shyly admit to the two.

It was to be expected for you to miss Jacob. During your first coverage together, he helped in alleviating the stress that came with it. From his smiles and encouragement to his exquisite way with words, he made every minute feel like a breeze in summer. But surprisingly enough, you felt like you could breathe without him around.

Sunwoo rolls his eyes at your reveal. “Aish! Of course, you do.” With your eyes preoccupied with whatever caught your attention, he looks at Changmin and gives him a subtle smirk. All your best friend could do is stop comforting you to smack the other.

Interrupted by Sunwoo’s whine, you look back at the two and frown at the sight of him grabbing onto his arm while Changmin continues to eat his bibimbap. Before you could ask, Sunwoo looked at his phone.

“Ah, that’s the time already?!” He quickly gets out of his seat and shoves his phone into his pocket before grabbing his empty bowl of ramyeon. “I’m going to be late for my class!”

“What class?”

“3D Character Animation,” he answers Changmin with a groan following. As soon as he notices his best friend who only has a look of desperation plastered on his face, he could only hold back his giggle. “I’ll see you two!”

And with that, Changmin is left alone with you—the one who has occupied his mind since that night. The realization of him spending time with you for the first time since that dream came to him was starting to sink in. With no moment to swallow his shame, he let his eyes trail down to his bowl of beef, rice, and stir-fried vegetables.

“So, how about you?” Once you ask the question, all he does is shrug before taking a big bite of his food.

It is not unusual for your best friend to not be in the mood to talk, but you noticed something was off about his behavior. Since that one day he rushed to the athletics center, you could not shake off this odd gut feeling—it felt like something was eating you up inside. Yet, you could not pinpoint the reason behind it.

You have always felt confident in your friendship with Changmin. There has not been a grave instance where he seemingly threatened it. No matter how many times you quarreled over small details throughout your friendship, you two knew to trust each other wholeheartedly. But as soon as you bumped into Juyeon that same day, your anxieties turned into something real.

As soon as your night class was dismissed, you quickly made your way out of the classroom. The talk about inverted pyramids and ledes in your journalism class only made your head hurt. All you could think about is your sweet home that had the soft bed you wish to pass out on. The headphones you wore blasted the sweet melodies of “1 to 10” by DAY6—your pick-me-up song on days like these. Clearly drained from the day, you were hoping no one would bother you on your way to the parking lot.

That is until your eyes land on a boy who you have grown familiar with from short interactions on campus and at parties. “Oh, Juyeon!” You call out as you move your headphones to hang around your neck.

The boy who you were going to cross paths with looks in your direction. As soon as his cat-like eyes recognize you, he gives you a smile and jogs towards you. “Hi, Y/N. I didn’t expect to see you around here.”

“I usually park by the athletics center.”

Juyeon nods as he lets out a hum. “Did you just come from class?” After you nod, you decide to ask him the same question. “I just came from the dance studio. You know, practicing for the competition coming up.”

“Oh, were you with Changmin?”

That is when you are met with an answer you were not expecting. “Actually, there was no practice today. Coach let us have a bit of time to rest but I wanted to practice.”

When Juyeon reveals that, you cannot help but feel the anxiety start to pool in your stomach. To be fair, you might have misunderstood him when he rushed out. Changmin did not owe you anything, but you still cannot stop the ill feeling brewing inside you.

“Oh, I see,” you force a grin as you say those words. “Good luck, by the way! Rooting for you and the rest of the team.”

Juyeon gives you a smile with eyes squinted. “Thank you! I hope to see you in the crowd.” With that, you parted ways. You do not allow yourself to cry.

Ever since that day, you have not seen Changmin. In those weeks, you allowed your mind to come into every possible assumption—what if he is getting annoyed with you? What if he is struggling with his own problems? What if he just wants to be alone?

You wanted to respect him and his space, but the more this behavior kept on going, the more you allowed yourself to be ripped up by the speculations your anxiety-ridden mind has crafted. It did not help that you figured out that Sunwoo was covering for him on that day—the one guy you so desperately wanted to seek comfort in. And who is to say that Chanhee would not cover for his best friend as well?

Now with no one to go to, you allowed yourself to dwell on ideas surrounding Changmin’s avoidance. But you knew you had to swallow your pride.

“Ji Changmin.” As you call out his name in a tone he rarely hears, he looks up at you. It is rare for him to hear you say his full name like that—almost as if his mother is about to scold him. But he knew that this is not a case of standing guilty before his mother; it is a case of you calling attention to the elephant in the room.

“Let’s talk,” you say those words easily despite the crushing weight on your heart. For a moment, you let your words hit him. So when you see him finally drop his spoon down on the bowl, you realize he was ready to talk.

“Changmin, I need you to be honest with me.” You swallow down the lump in your throat—almost as if you were trying to get rid of the anxiety. “Are you avoiding me?”

As soon as you ask that question, Changmin shakes his head quickly with eyes full of worry. “Oh god, Y/N. I’m not. I-I didn’t mean to come off that way.”

“So you aren’t?”

Changmin sighs before he lets his hands reach toward yours. As he grabs hold of your hands, he says, “I mean, I just needed some time away from you.” Before you say any more, he interjects, “But not in the way you may think of it to be. It’s completely all on me—you did nothing wrong.”

“Then what’s wrong?” As soon as you ask him that question, you are met with silence. His eyes trail down to your linked hands. “Changmin,” you call out so that he looks right back into your eyes. He does not.

You shake your head and free one of your hands from his grasp. Your hand reaches out for the underside of his chin so that you could lift his face. And with that action, Changmin feels his breath hitch. 

With his eyes locked with yours and your hand holding his chin delicately like a freshly sprouted flower, he feels like he is transported back to his dream. Every action you seemingly do only reminds him of his fantasy of you. It does not help that your worried eyes looked like your nervous ones in his dream.

“Hey, are you okay?”

Once the question leaves your mouth, Changmin snaps out of his trance. He leans a little backward so that his chin slips out of your grasp. “Yes, sorry. It’s not because you did anything wrong.”

“Okay, but why avoid me then? You know you can talk to me, right?” And he knew that more than anyone. You have always offered him a place for him to talk no matter what it may be about. He did not owe you to share his thoughts, but he is forever in debt to you for opening such a space.

He sighs as he finally lets go of your hands. “It’s… embarrassing,” he whispers the last word with shame overtaking his body once more.

“It can’t be that bad,” you attempt to reassure him only to be met with him avoiding your gaze. “I mean, what’s there to be embarrassed about with me? You’ve known me my whole high school life—it can’t be worse than that.”

For a moment, Changmin contemplates. You had every right to think that way, but you had no idea of his intimate dream with you. He knew he could get out of this. And yet, he found himself defenseless against you.

“God, I can’t believe I’m saying this,” he whispers to himself. As he notices a frown appear on your face, he shakes his head. “Just, please do not judge when I say this.” Your frown stays, curious to hear what he has to say. “Before anything, I respect you, okay?”

When he says those words, you cannot help but let a chuckle slip out. “I know that, don’t worry.”

“Yes, but… ugh, I don’t know how to say this,” he mutters as he thinks about the best way to share what has been bothering him.

You reach out once more for his hand and hold onto it. “Changmin, it’s fine. Rip the bandaid out—for the both of us.”

He hesitates for a second. With the way his eyebrows are furrowed and his eyes filled with guilt, you can tell he was struggling to get the secret out. Before you could say any more, he spoke.

“I had this dream,” he waits for you to say something. When you do not interrupt, he takes it as a signal to continue. “It had you in it.”

It takes you a moment to process his words. Yet, before he could say more, you found yourself saying, “Oh.”

“Wait! It’s not what you think!” He blurts out before you could assume anymore. “I swear, I did not have that type of dream about you.”

When you decide to not interject, he takes it as an opportunity to continue. “God, it’s just that we almost… you know… kissed,” he whispers that last word as if it were a sin with downcast eyes.

“Is that why you’ve been avoiding me?” You finally ask him, earning a nod.

Silence then settles between you two. For a moment, he does not know if he should say something or if he should let it sit with you. There were so many thoughts traveling through his mind—he only expects you to be disgusted by him. And yet, your hand still held his.

For some reason, you cannot help but laugh at the revelation. Changmin finds himself looking up at you only to be met with your shaking head which is accompanied by a small smile. “God, you’re that worked up over an almost kiss?”

As soon as you ask that question, he is thrown off by your casual nature. It is as if you did not understand the gravity of this. “W-what? You wouldn’t be?” He is only met with you shaking your head once more.

“No, dumbass,” you chuckle as you retract your hand from his and ruffle his hair. “There’s no reason for you to get so embarrassed over a dream. It’s not like you can control it… unless?”

“Why would I want to kiss you?!”

The way Changmin physically reels as he says those words make you laugh. “See! Then your dream means nothing.” You smile as you let your chin rest on your arm that is propped up on the table. “If it helps, I’ve dreamt about you too.”

Your best friend cannot hide his shocked expression. The idea of you dreaming about him is something he has never entertained until your reveal. “You have? About what?”

“Secret.”

“Hey, I told you mine!”

You can only laugh at your best friend’s behavior. “I’m assuming you told Sunwoo, right?”

“Yeah,” he sighs. “He cornered me into telling him and Chanhee when he heard from you that I was “practicing.” It felt so weird to tell him.”

“Well, that’s Sunwoo for you. If it helps, he was also the first person I told about my dream of you.”

Changmin pouts at you while your grin remains the same. “I thought we were best friends.”

“Yeah,” you look at him up and down. “Until you decided to avoid me over a dream!”

“Okay, fair point,” he admits with a sheepish smile. “But I ended up telling you! Why won’t you tell me yours?”

You roll your eyes over his childish behavior and say, “Because mine is far more embarrassing than an “almost kiss” that you seemed to have with me.” With those words, he cannot help but be curious.

A frown now plastered on his face, his mind runs through every possible dream that could be more embarrassing than his. Nothing could possibly beat his dream of you—until his mind lands on a particular idea. With a small chuckle leaving his mouth, he asks, “Did you have a sex dream about me?”

“No.” The way you blurt out the word ruins the cover you built. And there is no way to save yourself from this mess.

“Oh my god, you did!” He exclaims with eyebrows raised over the revelation. “When did you have it?” When all he receives is an eye roll from you, he decides to push further. “C’mon! Like you said, my dream does not mean anything as much as yours doesn’t.”

You sigh out in frustration before you frown at the boy across from you. “First year of college—it was after I saw your recital where you performed “BOSS” by NCT,” you shyly admit as you avoid his gaze. Although you refuse to look at him, you can feel how his eyes bore into you.

“Really? You liked that fit on me?” He asks smugly to which you groan. “I’m kidding!” You roll your eyes once more as you let him finally take some spoonfuls of his bibimbap.

The silence that settles on you two is surprisingly comfortable. Despite the awkward revelations that came on both ends (most especially on yours), the stillness of it all does not make you sit in embarrassment.

“Thank you, though.” You finally look back at him. “I mean, thank you for telling me,” he says with a shy smile on his face.

Changmin has always been the type to keep his feelings to himself—the one to hide his shame away. You have always known that since you first knew him as Sunwoo’s friend. But you also knew that leaving a space for him to talk gave him opportunities to be vulnerable with you—all he needs is a little reminder.

You let out a sigh. “Just don’t avoid me like that again.”

“I won’t.” Changmin nods as he finishes his bibimbap. “Aren’t you going to eat?”

As you shrug, you are met with his frown. Before you could say anymore, you felt your phone buzz. While he observes the way your face shifts from exhaustion to pure euphoria, an ill feeling starts to poll in his stomach. “Nevermind, I’m going to grab lunch with Jacob.”

When those words slip out of your mouth, a weight is dropped right on top of his heart. The last time he felt like this was when Hwang Hyunjin was offered the center position for one of the routines that he was aiming for. He hates this feeling—why did he feel this way over how you mentioned Jacob’s name?

“You are? I thought your schedules were completely different,” he murmurs before his eyes drift back down to his bowl.

“Yeah, but he just texted asking if I wanted to grab lunch with him. Hopefully, we can work on the article after so that my life is easier.” You smile while you text away. Changmin only allows himself to hum.

“Are you okay if I go? Or do you want me to wait for you?”

When you ask that question, every part of him wants to tell you to stay. In the time he has avoided you, it is only now that he is starting to realize how much he missed hanging out with you. Every part of him only wanted to hold you close to him—to forever link arms with you every second of the day. But this is Changmin we’re talking about—he would never hold you back from what you want to do.

He shakes his head with a small smile as a cover-up. “No, you should go. I know you miss him.” As he sees your grin, he cannot help but feel his heart being tugged harshly. 

“Thank you!” You exclaim as you get off your seat. “I’ll update you!” And with that, you left your best friend. Now, he is left with thoughts and feelings he wishes to not entertain.

Before you met up with Jacob, you made sure to cover up your fatigue (thank god you brought some makeup) by hiding your dark circles. In contrast with the exhausted look that Changmin and Sunwoo previously saw, you presented yourself as you normally would when going to campus.

Now, you stand in front of a restaurant whose specialty lies in Korean fried chicken. Once you entered, you noticed that there were only a handful of students from your university. Other customers were those dressed in button-ups and slacks while some came in casual clothing.

As you look around, you spot the 5th-year who types away on his phone. The sight of him never fails to warm your heart. You walk towards him and greet him with a smile, “Hi, Jacob.”

When his eyes land on you, he flashes you that all-knowing smile (god, you will always be defenseless against him). “Oh, hi! Please take a seat.” He stashes his phone in his pocket. As soon as you take a seat, he says, “I already ordered the fried chicken and kimchi-jjigae just a few minutes ago, so it will probably be here soon.”

“Ah, thank you so much! I haven’t eaten the whole day,” you admit as you scratch the back of your neck. While you take a gulp of water, Jacob speaks up.

“You haven’t? Well, we’re gonna make sure you eat lots now,” he smiles at you which has you almost choking on your water—just almost. When you place the cup back down, you show him a shy smile.

Your relationship with Jacob has been complicated. Ever since that fateful night when he asked about your relationship with Changmin, something in the air shifted—it felt as if the aura he emits is different. Although his innocent praises stayed, he started to tell you things that made you melt from the inside out. From “Good job with the draft!” to “I like what you did with your hair today,” you did not know what to make of this new dynamic with him.

Still, a part of you wanted to hold back from pursuing anything. Despite getting to know him during the weeks you two worked together, you found yourself still valuing all his thoughts about you. In your mind, he is still the 4th-year who you idolized when you first entered the publication. 

“So, how are you?” You try to shift the conversation. “Have your professors been assigning you some heavy projects?”

Jacob nods and hums in affirmation. “I expected to have more free time since I’m in my 5th year. But surprisingly, my academics still take up a huge chunk of my time.” He sighs as he looks down at the table. “With my internship and the publication work, my schedule has been cramped.”

“I can only imagine.” And you only really could. You have always anticipated your senior year to be hectic as when Changmin and Chanhee were juggling their priorities the summer before their 4th year. The two never really got to enjoy that summer; they dreaded every day until the start of their senior year.

“What about you? How’s the final leg of the semester treating you?” As Jacob asks the question, you could only sigh. He could only chuckle. “I’m assuming it’s not going well for you also.”

You let out a groan before complaining, “Professors have this tendency to assign due dates for heavy projects before the actual finals season. I mean, I get it—they’re trying to do us a favor so that we can focus on actual finals but literally every prof is doing that.” As you were going on a tangent, you noticed Jacob starting to smile. “I just think that professors could have easily spaced out the workload.”

Before you could ask about what he is smiling about, an old woman comes to your table with a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and a basket of Korean fried chicken. Your stomach grumbles at the sight. As soon as she sets the two dishes down, she smiles and coos at the boy in front of you, pinching his cheeks. “My Jacob, I didn’t know you were having a date!”

Once those words leave her mouth, your eyes widen in shock. You could feel the heat rise to your cheeks all while Jacob smiles at the server. “Ah halmeoni, thank you for preparing such a good meal.” He does not make an effort to deny your lunch being a date—the butterflies start to swarm in your stomach.

“Of course, my sweet sweet boy.” She finally stops pinching his cheeks and smiles at you. “Please enjoy your date.” Before you could protest, she left the two of you to serve the other customers calling her.

You cannot find your voice. Somehow, you were scared to let a sound out in fear that your voice would crack from how the woman described this lunch. It did not help that Jacob went along with it. And what made you melt even more is when he poured you a bowl of kimchi-jjigae and placed a piece of chicken on your plate.

When you stare at Jacob who pours himself some stew, he only shoots you that godforsaken smile. You may not know what you want with Jacob at the end of all of this. But one thing is for sure though—you wanted this feeling to remain. 

It is 10:34 PM. You are seated in your living room watching an episode of Bluey while your laptop remains abandoned. During times of stress, you always found yourself watching this show for comfort. Its digestible plot and heartwarming nature found in each episode worked for your weak heart. That is until you hear your doorbell ring.

You were not expecting a delivery—let alone anyone at this time. As you got off the couch and walked towards the door, you peeked through the peephole only to see your best friend dressed up in a white shirt and grey jogging pants.

As soon as you open the door, you ask, “Changmin? Why the hell are you here?”

The last time you saw him was two weeks ago—the day you confronted him about his avoidance. Your friend group was preoccupied with hell season (read as “professors assigning heavy projects”) and extracurriculars, preventing you four from hanging out. 

It was a miracle that you and Jacob managed to wrap up your article on drinking culture amongst students just a few weeks after Halloween. Now, you two were rushed into finishing the joint article on hustle culture in student organizations so that it would be published in time before finals season comes.

In Chanhee’s case, he was assigned more coverages aside from the ones he had to work on with you two. He always swooped in on time to film and capture the moments and left as quickly as he could to handle his other duties. It is crazy how you two are in the same publication but barely see each other.

While you and Chanhee have been preoccupied with publication work, Changmin and Sunwoo have been practicing non-stop for their competition happening tomorrow. They have spent almost every night in the dance studio going over the same routine countless times; sweating through every shirt they had; exerting every muscle in them; enduring every bruise that came from dancing. That is why you do not understand why Changmin stood before you when his competition was happening tomorrow.

“I’m here to check up on you,” he says as he takes his shoes off and sets them aside before taking a step into your place. You close the door and frown at the boy who was making his way to your couch. “You’re watching Bluey? Now you need to tell me what’s going on.”

You sigh as you make your way beside him and plop down on the couch. “I’m just taking a break from work.”

“Is it the same one from last time? The drinking culture one?”

“Nope.” You pop the ‘p’ sound as you grab your laptop. “It’s about hustle culture in orgs,” as you say those words, your best friend could only chuckle. “Why? What’s so funny?”

He raises his eyebrows at you. “Don’t you think it’s funny how you’re writing about that when you have been working like crazy for the newspaper?” As he points it out, you only roll your eyes. “I know you’ve been writing non-stop, so why don’t you just take a break?”

You firmly shake your head and say, “I can’t; my break was watching Bluey.” While you type away, you could feel your best friend start to rest his head on your shoulder as he watches the show without you. Oddly enough, you felt all the knots in your body untie themselves—it was as if Changmin helped alleviate the stress by simply being present.

The episodes play out while you work; searching up synonyms for basic words like “say” or “work”; typing out phrases that sound right; deleting every unnecessary word to save you on characters. After two episodes ended, you could feel your best friend tug on your arm. You look to your right to see his concerned eyes. “C’mon, you can work on that tomorrow. I don’t want you to overwork yourself tonight.”

You only show him a small smile. He is right. Over the past weeks, you have found yourself staying up countless nights to balance your academics and publication work. Your friend group is well aware of this (since you have messaged them during the late hours), and they would always remind you to take breaks. Yet, you never did allow yourself to listen. A part of you felt like you needed to work every minute.

When you decide to not say anything, Changmin takes it as a sign to get off the couch. “C’mon, let’s go to the mart downstairs. You really need to take a break.”

“But–”

“No.” He grabs hold of your laptop and pries it away from your hands. As you whine, he only shakes his head. “Y/N, I know you. If you keep this up, you’re going to get sick. So for once, just listen to me.” Your best friend’s persistence is something that you could not battle against. And after you let out a sigh, you find yourself getting off the couch.

Now, you two were sitting inside the convenience store located on the ground floor of your apartment complex. While you ate away on your cup of ice cream, Changmin was munching on some bread with red beans in it.

“Aren’t you not allowed to be snacking late at night before your competition?” He only hums as he watches you chew on the wooden spoon. “Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

He shakes his head and says, “This isn’t about me—I’m here to ask about you.” You can only sigh over his behavior. Being put under the spotlight is something you always dread, especially when it comes to your own problems. Changmin, of all people, knew this—but he only corners you when it is necessary for you would only bottle it all up.

“What about we talk about everything?” When you are met with a frown, you whine, “Changmin, you know I hate it when I talk about this shit alone. Let me at least hear you out.”

For a moment, he remains frowning at you. But just like him, you are persistent. He sighs before giving in to your request. “Fine, shoot.”

“How are you feeling about tomorrow?”

He gives himself a moment to think over the question before answering with, “Oddly enough, I feel a bit more confident about the competition tomorrow.”

“Hey, that’s good!”

He chuckles as he looks down on his bread. “I know. I mean, a part of me is still nervous but I feel like it would be good to end this on a good note.” He finds himself smiling as he looks out the window. “I’m just hoping we secure that win, you know? Considering that I have several center parts–”

“Are you really trying to flex that right now?” You scoff as you twirl the wooden spoon. 

“I’m just saying.”

“Whatever, you’re not all that.”

“Do you see me commenting shit like that every time you talk about getting clean closes on your articles?”

As soon as your best friend looks at you, he is greeted with a frown on your face. “You always do. Be so for real right now.”

“Just because you always talk about it! Let me have my moment,” he says which only has you rolling your eyes. “But continuing before you interrupted me, I still want to do well. I want to win for my team—let the mark I leave be a good one.”

You understood where Changmin was coming from. Even if he talked about being a bit more relaxed, you knew that this competition still mattered to him as a graduating senior. His passion for dance is something you do not usually see from anyone. At the end of everything, he wanted to prove that his love for this activity is something to be acknowledged—all the time he has spent dancing is something worthy to commemorate.

“Hey, and you will,” you say as you bump shoulders with him. “I know you will do good.”

He lets a chuckle out. “I know I will do good when you’re there.”

“Calling me your lucky charm then?” You smirk as you chew on your wooden spoon. When you do not hear him say anything, you turn your head to look at him only to be met with his small smile.

“Yeah, I do.” Just like a bonfire on a cold night, his words warm your heart. You never expect him to go with it. And yet, the way he says the words so easily almost makes you smile.

In an attempt to not feed his ego, you roll your eyes and face away from him to hide your expression. Before you could say any more, he spoke. “Now that we talked about me, let’s talk about whatever you have going on.”

You sigh as you look out the window. “I don’t know. I mean, it’s just the stress of everything, you know?”

“Okay, so tell me about it—go through what’s bothering you one by one.” When he says those words, you cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug. It is during these times that you remember Changmin’s constant aid when you found yourself struggling in silence.

Despite being the talkative one in your friend group, you never liked to dive into your troubles. If anything, you liked to be the person who people went to for comfort versus the person who vents their struggles. Even in your early years of being friends with Sunwoo, he has known you to be the type of person who would discredit their problems. That is why it is not rare for you to sweep your difficulties under the rug. And every day, you always appreciate Sunwoo for being present in the moments you need him the most.

Funnily enough, the same goes for your best friend. Changmin was fine with talking about anything and everything unless it concerned his problems. He was the type of person to lock himself away in his low times—hide away so that he burdens no one. And yet, his walls would always break when you came into the picture. Because at the end of everything, you want to be the shoulder he can lean on. And just like you, he does the same for you.

Somehow, the universe gifted you someone who knew you from the inside and out—one who pushed you to the necessary limits that you needed to reach in order to grow. You could only hope he felt the same towards you.

Under his gaze, you finally found it within yourself to speak. “I don’t know what to feel.” You find yourself looking back at Changmin only to be greeted by his nod. “I mean, I don’t know what to feel about Jacob.”

You do not miss the way he frowns as you say the 5th-year’s name. “Go on,” he urges you to continue.

“I feel like–god, I don’t know how to say it.” You let your eyes trail back down to your cup of ice cream. “Ever since that Halloween party, I feel like something changed, you know? Like he’s still sweet but I feel so hyperaware that he might actually reciprocate whatever I’m feeling about him.”

Changmin only hums before he takes a bite of his bread. As soon as he swallows it down, he says, “You’re not happy about your crush showing some interest in you?”

You shake your head before admitting, “Crazily enough, I feel more scared.” You do not allow your eyes to meet with his. “Like, I love the feeling of spending time with him. But when I remember what he said at the party and all the other times he has said something almost flirtatious in nature, I feel myself freeze up.”

“Okay, why do you think that?”

You find yourself shrugging. “I feel like I still think of him as the 4th-year that I first found myself crushing on when I entered the publication. A part of me still puts him on this pedestal who I idolize versus a friend who I’ve gotten to know during my weeks working with him.”

You hate that it turned out this way. Every part of you wants to jump head-first into whatever you and Jacob have going on. And yet, you can never push him off the pedestal—almost as if he is forever rooted in that place. You are about to say more until you are met with a question that you do not expect.

“Do you, I don’t know, ever see yourself with him?” Once your best friend asks that, you cannot help but stare at him. “I know it’s a lot to consider.”

“No, you’re good,” you mumble as you let yourself look back out the window. “I… don’t know. Oddly enough, I don’t think I can see myself with anyone.” As soon as those words leave your mouth, you allow your eyes to meet Changmin’s which are only filled with worry.

“You don’t?”

It has only occurred to you that you have never mentioned this thought to him. Despite the many times you rambled to him about all your short-lived crushes, you never really had anything progress past that stage—let alone saw yourself pursuing them.

“Yeah, it’s weird,” you found yourself saying after finishing your last spoonful of ice cream. “To me, I’ve grown so accustomed to the idea that all my crushes will stay as crushes, you know? That’s what I’m familiar with.”

Silence engulfs you two for a moment. You let Changmin process what you just shared with him. But when you realize that he was not going to say anything, you chose to continue. “I have gone my whole life just doing work that I find it hard to even imagine a future where I’m not working.” You find yourself sighing. “Is it odd to think that I feel like I am put in this world for the sole reason to work?”

It is supposed to be a hypothetical question—until your best friend answers. “Y/N,” he calls your name out before his hand finds its way to yours. “You are more than your accomplishments, you know that right?” You look at him with eyes full of shock. There was not enough time for you to think of an answer as he continued to speak. “You are deserving of love—you always have been.”

You feel his hand grip yours a tad tighter. His fingers held your hand as if you could easily slip away. You knew it was his way of wanting you to hear him out—to believe his words.

It has been something you noticed since your second year in high school. You can remember the first time you finally started to pick up his small habits—from the way he likes to link arms with you to the way he tends to hit whoever is beside him whenever he is excited.

It is rare for him to firmly grip your hand. In the same way you would reserve these types of talks to be mainly with him, you could only hope that it was an action he reserved for you.

“I know that you may have gone your life under the impression that no one wants you in the way you hope, but there are people who love to have you in their lives. I know you value your work because I do too, but you aren’t just some commodification of labor—you are a burst of energy for Chanhee; a familiar presence for Sunwoo; a place of solace for me.” The more he continues with his tangent, the harder it gets for you to find the right words to say.

Somehow, he reads your thoughts and says, “I’m not saying you should dive in with whatever you have going on with Jacob hyung without understanding what you want from him. But I think you should at least entertain the idea that you can possibly have something with him.” He takes a moment to sigh as he draws circles on the back of your hand. “I just don’t want you to hold yourself back from getting something that you have deserved for so long just because it’s unfamiliar.”

And deep inside, you knew Changmin was right. He has always been the type to remind you that you do deserve happiness—whether it may be in whatever career path you decide to set on or hobbies you wish to pursue. And yet, you still hold yourself back from attaining something that stands right before you. Are you really part of the list of people who deserve happiness?

But you know that if you say anymore, the conversation would spiral down further. “I just,” you take a deep breath as you bring your linked hands closer to you. “I–I don’t know anymore. Maybe I just need time to just figure out whatever the fuck I’m feeling,” you chuckle as you look down at your hand that intertwines with his.

“And take all the time you need,” he whispers. Once you look at him, his gaze never falters. In those eyes you have grown accustomed to, you allow yourself to be exposed to him in ways that no one will ever have the privilege of seeing.

Your best friend smiles at you and says, “Come on, it’s getting late. I’ll bring you back to your place.” Once he stands up, he grabs your empty cup and wooden spoon with his plastic wrapper from the bread and throws them into the trash bin.

The walk back was silent—nothing needed to be said for you two were content with being in each other’s presence. When Changmin drops you off by your door, you smile at him. “Thank you for tonight. It kind of felt nice to have it finally out.”

He gives you a small shrug and says, “I’m always here to help you carry your burdens.” You cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug.

Before he could say more, you wrap your arms around him and pull him into a hug. He feels himself stiffen at the sudden action. And when he realizes that it is you who initiates the hug, he melts into it.

It is not rare for you two to hug—for you to initiate them, however, is a once-in-a-blue-moon experience. Although your best friend loves physical touch, it was never something you sought out. The most you ever did was link arms or hold hands—for you to bring him into a hug was unexpected.

As you feel his arms wrap around your waist, you allow yourself to release a shaky breath. Even if you were not a big fan of physical touch, a hug like this one will always bring you immense comfort. “Thank you,” you whisper into his shoulder. All he does is continue to embrace you.

Once you let go of him, he does the same. “I’ll see you tomorrow, my shining star.” As you say those words, Changmin cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips.

“I’ll wait for you, lucky charm.” You smile before entering your apartment. The moment the door shuts close, he starts walking away while fishing his phone out of his pocket. He dials one of his best friends and brings the phone close to his ear.

After three rings, he hears a groan from the other end of the line. “Changmin, it’s late. What do you want?” Sunwoo complains in his groggy voice.

“I think I’m fucked.”

“Ok–”

“I think I like Y/N.”

Changmin is met with silence. For a moment, he thinks Sunwoo hung up on him. That is until he says, “Expect me at your place in ten minutes.”

When you wake up, you expect to feel sluggish. But as soon as you start to feel your body ache, you realize that today was not going to go as planned.

“I don’t think I can make it,” you groaned out to your best friend who was on the other line as you waited for the thermometer to finalize its results regarding your temperature. “God, I’m so annoyed.”

“Aish, this is what you get for staying up so many nights!” Chanhee scolds you as you set your phone on speaker mode.

While you roll your eyes at his reprimanding, you hear a beep emit from the thermometer placed under your arm. Once you took it out, you could see that your temperature is at 39°C. You scratch the top of your head and say, “Fuck, I am sick.”

Unbeknownst to you, Chanhee was in the dance team’s dressing room seated near Changmin as he was getting his makeup done. Changmin furrowed his eyebrows at his best friend who was on call with you. “What’s wrong?” He whispers only to earn no response from Chanhee.

“God, don’t tell Changmin I’m not there,” you say as you store the thermometer away on your bedside table. You grab onto your phone to double-check if Chanhee was still on the line.

He attempts to joke and says, “Oh, so I can tell Sunwoo?”

You roll your eyes even if he cannot see your reaction. “Obviously not. I just–right now, they should not be worrying about me. It’s a big deal for them, especially Changmin.” As you whisper your best friend’s name, you could feel the guilt eating you apart. After last night’s conversation, you knew he would not be able to rest easy knowing you are sick. “Can you think of an excuse? Like maybe just say I’m running late?”

“I don’t know if I can,” He admits as he stares at the topic of the conversation who only has a look of concern. Before Changmin could say anything, he waved his hand at him. “Do you need me to book a delivery for you? Do you have some meds?”

As you peer over to your bedside table to look through the drawers, you notice some acetaminophen pills sealed up. “Yeah, I have enough to last me around three days.”

“I’ll bring some more when I visit you. What about soup?”

You sigh. “It’s okay; I can handle it. Just make sure to cheer them on for me.”

Chanhee bites on his lip as he stares back at Changmin who was starting to connect the dots. Based on the one-sided conversation, it was starting to make sense in his head what was going on—not only could you not make it to the competition but you were sick.

“Okay, I’ll see you later?” Chanhee finally asks. As soon as you hum, you decide to end the call. While you were under the impression that Changmin had no clue of your absence, the reality is that he was well aware of what was happening.

“They’re sick,” Changmin mutters to himself as he looks at himself through the mirror while Park Seonghwa, one of the makeup artists that work closely with the dance troupe, continues to pamper him.

His best friend sighs as he types away on his phone. “They don’t want you to worry about them. Just focus on the competition and we can visit them after.” As he said those words, Changmin could feel the anxiety start to brew within him; his heart started to feel heavy; his palms were getting sweaty; it almost felt like the walls were going to collapse on him.

Chanhee starts to notice that Changmin was drifting into a headspace that they wanted to absolutely avoid. “Seonghwa, can you excuse us?” Once the makeup artist nods and walks away to work on someone else, Chanhee quickly stands up from his seat and walks behind his panicked friend before holding onto his shoulders.

“Hey,” he calls out as he catches Changmin’s attention through the mirror. “I know that you’re worried about Y/N, but they’ll be fine. All they have is a fever. You though, you need to focus on your competition.”

“Okay but Y/N has never missed any of my competitions.”

Chanhee chuckles. “And you’ll be fine. You can always tell them about your win after, and I can record it just to show them.” But the thing is his best friend does not get why Changmin is worried about your absence.

He has been nervous about the competition since the morning came. But the idea of you being there provided him with immense comfort that he could tackle this. Without his lucky charm, he almost felt defenseless.

“I know you like them and all–”

“Huh?! That’s not the point!” Changmin quickly exclaims to cover up what Chanhee just babbled out. He whispers, “That’s not something you should be saying out loud.”

His best friend attempts to apologize. “Sorry! I just never see you act like this, so I thought all of this was coming from the fact that you like them now.”

Changmin only sighs as he looks back down to his hands that play with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t usually act like this because Y/N has always been present for every competition. And never once did the teams I joined place anything lower than silver.”

Chanhee cannot help but pout at him. “They’re almost like your lucky charm, is that it?” When he does not say anything, the best friend only sighs. “I don’t know if this will help, but why don’t you at least try to win without them? Instead of worrying about your missing lucky charm, take this opportunity to win this for them—for you, especially.”

Unbeknownst to the two, Sunwoo overheard a part of the conversation before he walked up to them. The two were briefly surprised by his sudden appearance. “Hey, you two,” he starts off before holding onto his best friend’s forearm who was seated on the chair.

“Changmin, I know you’re worried. If anything, I am too. I used to treat Y/N as my lucky charm since. They’ve been present for not only the dance competitions but my soccer tournaments in grade school.” He looks at Changmin with worried eyes. “There was this one time where Y/N didn’t show up because they got sick as well. On that day, I had a foul shot that caused the team’s chance to win.”

He sighs at the memory, remembering how much he cried to you on the landline. “In their comfort, they told me this: “You don’t need me to achieve the heights you’ve dreamed of.” And I think a part of me realized then that I put so much faith in someone who was only supporting me on the sidelines. At the end of everything, they want you to believe in yourself.”

As Sunwoo shares his memory with you, Changmin cannot help but think over the words you told Sunwoo. It is true that despite the skills he had, he always found himself second-guessing his capabilities as a dancer. And during the times he found himself doubting his abilities, you were always there to remind him of his worth. Not only did you do that for dance but even when you two still worked together for your high school’s publication. 

“Yeah, what matters most is that you win this, especially for yourself—this is your dream. No matter what happens, we will always be proud of you. We know how much time and effort you put into dance, and we’ll always marvel at what you do,” Chanhee speaks up. Since the conversation happened, Changmin finally found himself showing a small smile.

“Ah, there’s that smile,” Sunwoo points out, which only has Chanhee giggle. “C’mon, let’s just focus on making sure we get through this without any injuries. Win or lose, we still did well, okay?” Sunwoo raises his fist for his best friend to fist bump. Once he does so, Sunwoo smiles.

Chanhee smiles at the sight of him and his two best friends huddled together through the mirror. In the time he has gotten to know your friend group, he realized that all the bantering is just a coverup for how much love is shared between you three. Despite the quarrels and internal struggles, your friend group always remained firm in the idea that to love is to reestablish each person’s independence.

No matter how many times you three believe you cannot survive without one another, the reality is that the achievements achieved are all due to each person’s capability—it is just nice to know that there will always be people to support you from the sidelines. As Chanhee was dragged into your friend group, he found himself cared for and supported in every aspect.

He leans his head on Sunwoo’s shoulder as he continues to hold onto Changmin’s shoulder. Although Sunwoo was startled by the sudden movement, he noticed the smile on his best friend’s face. “You guys will be okay.” And with those words leaving Chanhee’s mouth, the two could not help but feel a heavy weight on their hearts be lifted.

Sitting on the couch in your living room, you were all wrapped up in a blanket as you tried to type away on your laptop. Not only were you disappointed about missing Changmin and Sunwoo’s performance, you were stressed about your article’s due date which was two days from now.

Despite how sick you felt, you still needed to work on the task at hand. It almost felt as if the upcoming deadline was breathing down on your neck. You would hate to cause an inconvenience for both your editor and co-writer. 

Your phone vibrates. Expecting to get a call from the delivery person who was bringing some samgyetang from your favorite restaurant, you see Chanhee is calling you. As soon as you answer, you say, “How did it go?” When you are met with a sigh on the other end of the line, you could feel your heart get heavy.

“Y/N, I don’t know where Changmin is.” You feel yourself sit up straight as your best friend reveals that information. “The competition didn’t turn out well—they ended up placing last out of the five groups who participated.” Your eyes close in sorrow.

For a moment, you hear some muffled sounds until another voice speaks up. “As soon as they revealed the results, he left,” Sunwoo let out a sigh. “We’ve been trying to contact him but it keeps going straight to voicemail.”

“We’re planning to check the athletics center first and the picnic where we usually hang out before deciding to check back at my place.” Once Chanhee says that, you let out a hum. “Do you have any other places in mind that you think he’d be at?”

“Uh, I think the park near your apartment complex would be good to check out,” you start off. As you tried to think of more places, you felt yourself hitting a mental wall—you were too worried about your best friend. “I-I don’t know where else he could be.” As you whisper those words, the unbearable weight on your heart is accompanied by claws that make it ache.

You could hear someone sigh for a moment. “Okay, if you ever think of more places, just message us. Tell us also if you get a message from him,” Sunwoo tells you.

“And don’t go looking out for him. I mean it.” Every part of you wanted to argue with Chanhee. But with his harsh tone, you realized there was nothing you can do in this state. He is right, you are sick—now is not the best time to go out.

While you tried to process the news, you were starting to blame yourself for getting sick. Especially after last night’s conversation with Changmin (and how he thought of you as his lucky charm), you could do nothing but feel guilt swallow you whole.

“Okay,” you finally whisper back. And somehow, your best friends started to notice how worried you were with how you said that one word.

With a sigh, Sunwoo says, “He’ll be okay. It was just a bad day.” Before you could say more, he cuts you off. “And it’s not your fault.” You feel your bottom lip quiver. “The other teams just presented a better performance in comparison to us—we would have never expected it. So don’t carry the blame, lucky charm.” As he calls you that term, your heart aches.

When you were first called that by him, you could remember the joy you felt. You loved to support your best friend in any way you can, even if it meant being treated as the one reassuring presence that made him feel like he was guaranteed success. But what came with being a lucky charm was also the burden of the title—having someone put all their faith in you when you had no control almost felt anxiety-inducing.

So when Changmin coined that term on you, you could not help but experience that feeling once more. That is until you learned that your absence was as coincidental as their team losing in the said competition. 

“Take care, alright?” As soon as Chanhee says that, you let out a hum. The call ends and you are left to stare off into the open space in your living room. Yet, not even a minute after, you hear the doorbell ring.

You stood up from the couch with your blanket still wrapped around you as you sluggishly walked towards the front door. When you swing it open, you expect to see a plastic bag filled with containers of the food you ordered. But when you see Changmin with a sorrowful expression holding onto the said plastic bag, your breath hitches at the sight.

Just at the sight of him, you decide against saying anything. With his shoes off, you only take a step to the side so that he could enter your place. You shut the door right after he enters and walk slowly to the boy who was placing your food on the kitchen counter. He was dressed up in an all-black outfit you could only presume to be the same outfit he performed in a few hours ago.

The silence is deafening; you are too afraid to let out a sound. As you watch your best friend keep his composure while he tries to prepare your food, dark limbs consume you and push you into a hole of guilt and sorrow. While he was still struggling to come to terms with placing last, he still was going out of his way to take care of you.

You took some steps forward so that you could be closer to him. While he opened containers containing samgyetang, kimchi, and more, you stood right behind him. And before he knows it, he feels your arms wrap around his waist and hug him from behind.

With that one simple action, he stopped whatever he was doing. You let your chin rest on his shoulder as you look down at his hands that were starting to tremble. As soon as you notice his head start to dip down, you knew he was going to cry. All while his body started to shake, you could only hug him.

“It’s okay,” you finally whisper to him.

It is rare to see Changmin cry. During your time growing up with him, you can only remember a few times when he shed a few tears; due to stress from school and his internship; when Gana went missing for a few days; times when he was frustrated with a choreography he could not get the hang of. But with the way he was shaking, you were not expecting just a few tears.

As soon as you spin the boy to face you, you could see tears streaming down his face. In an attempt to stop the waterfall and any wails, he bites on his bottom lip. And you realize that Changmin desperately needed to be cared for. You pulled him into another hug so that his face was snuggled into the crook of your neck.

With your best friend sobbing, you held him close. In these times, you started to understand what he meant last night—you are a place of solace for him just as he is for you.

Over the days you were sick, your best friends have been taking care of you—Chanhee mainly handles your medications, Changmin cooks or orders food for you, and Sunwoo takes your temperature and helps you out when it comes to using the bathroom.

Due to your physical state, Sunwoo had to tell Kevin that you were sick and unable to fully deliver in time for your deadline. As soon as he revealed that your editor would help Jacob in taking over for your assigned parts, guilt consumed you since you burdened them. But they were insistent on making sure that you got enough rest.

Stuck in bed, you were watching another episode of Knowing Brothers on your iPad while Sunwoo was scrolling on his phone. Your two other best friends were out of your place busy doing some groceries for you and themselves. As you watch the crew continue to joke around, your phone vibrates. Upon grabbing it, you notice a notification from Jacob.

Now sitting up, your eyes widen at the sight of his name. “What’s wrong?” You hear Sunwoo ask. While you ignore him, you decide to open up the conversation.

cobcob 🐰: hi y/n! i hope you’re okay :] please don’t stress about the article. you did a lot and i’m glad i got to work with you this semester!! cobcob 🐰: hopefully we can work together again for the second sem 💗 cobcob 🐰: or even hang out outside of student journalist duties :] y/n: thank u jacob </3 im very sorry about this T__T y/n: i will make it up to you by treating you to lunch! cobcob 🐰: don’t treat me to lunch!! it’s fine 💗 cobcob 🐰: instead, let me take you out

The moment you gasp causes Sunwoo to get closer to you and peer over your shoulder. Before you could scold him, he gasps as well. “DID HE JUST ASK YOU OUT?!”

“YAH!” You shove your best friend away. “I didn’t even allow you to read my conversation!”

“Oh my god, Y/N! Who cares! How much has progressed between you two?!” He exclaims as he starts shaking your arm. “Have you been keeping secrets from me?!”

You roll your eyes. “I haven’t! There’s just not much worth mentioning,” you admitted shyly.

“Liar,” your best friend says with a frown. “I bet Changmin knows everything.”

“He does.”

Sunwoo gasps and shoves you. “I was joking! But now that I’m finding out that it’s true, I’m hurt. I thought we were besties.”

You let out a sigh. “Then I’ll tell you. But I swear, it’s not much to begin with.” As he raises his eyebrows at you, you take it as a sign to continue. “I told you about what happened at the Halloween party, right?”

“Something happened?!”

You give him a shy smile. “Oops?” Your best friend gasps once more and smacks your arm. “I thought I told you!”

“Well, you didn’t! Does Chanhee know?” When you do not answer, your best friend frowns. “I cannot believe you are keeping secrets from me!”

You laugh and say, “I’m sorry! I’ll give you a full recap—no details will be left out.”

With that, you decided to tell him about the events that happened during Eric’s Halloween party to your supposed informal “date” over fried chicken and kimchi-jjigae. As you told the story, your best friend would gasp and smack your arm every time you revealed a new detail. Sunwoo cannot help but be impressed by how much had gone on.

“I still can’t believe you decided to not tell me.”

You pout in an attempt to earn his forgiveness. “To be fair, we weren’t hanging out much because of different schedules. And I don’t know, I wouldn’t think too much about it until… now.”

It is true—you were trying to find ways to believe that this is just Jacob being friendly. It felt impossible to believe that your crush was trying to pursue you. But with his most recent message, you started to realize that you were blind to his advances after all.

“Well, did you reply?” As soon as your best friend asks that question, your eyes widen. You quickly take a look back down on your phone to see some unread messages from Jacob. 

cobcob 🐰: if you don’t want to though, it’s fine! cobcob 🐰: just let me know 💗

“Oh god, what do I say?” You ask out loud as you point your phone towards Sunwoo.

Your best friend groans and says, “You are hopeless!” You frown as you face your phone back toward you. “Do you want to go on a date with him?”

“Yeah,” you shyly admit.

“Then you know your answer!”

You raise your hand to stop him from saying any more. “Okay, but I was telling Changmin this the other day that I don’t know what to feel towards him.”

“Okay, what’s the problem?”

You sigh as you look over the same message. “Honestly, I don’t know. I feel like I still idolize him, and I don’t know if I really connected with him during our time working together.” You look up to your best friend. “Like he’s nice and I really enjoy talking to him, but I really do think I put him on this pedestal. I would like to think of him as a friend, but a part of me still sees him as the senior I had a stupid crush on.”

Sunwoo only hums as he thinks over your words. “What did Changmin say?”

“He was saying I can take my time figuring it out really.” Your best friend hums once more.

“I don’t think a date will do any harm,” he starts off. “I mean, it might help you figure out what you want after all. And it’s not like you need to figure it out then and there.”

Your best friend had a point; you could go on a date without any expectation to understand your feelings after. You let out a sigh before looking down once more at your phone. Once you type out your message, you send it without looking back.

“Done!” You exclaim as you let yourself fall back down on the bed. “Can’t believe I’m going on a date with him.”

Sunwoo only smiles at you before he goes back to his phone. Unbeknownst to you, he messages Changmin about what just occurred between you and Jacob.

It is 3:34 PM. It has been a few hours since you replied to Jacob’s message. Now, you and your three best friends were watching 2 Days & 1 Night in the living room while waiting for the food to come.

You were wrapped in your blanket as you rested your head on Changmin’s lap while he rested his hand on your shoulder, rubbing it in a circular motion. With your eyes still trained on the television screen, you remain unaware of all the glances and smirks your two other best friends were shooting at Changmin.

“What do you guys have planned for winter break?” You decide to ask as you continue to watch the variety show.

“I’m going to Pyeongchang with my family,” Sunwoo shares as he looks at you and Changmin.

“My family hates snow, so we’re going to Malaysia.”

You hum at Chanhee’s answer before turning your body so that you could face Changmin. “What about you?”

“I think I’m just staying at Cheongju. My noonas are coming back home for the winter.”

You gasp as you sit up and say, “Yuna and Hanhee are coming home?! Oh my god, I miss them!”

During your high school years growing close with Changmin, his sisters have grown fond of your presence. Despite the age difference, Yuna and Hanhee have taken care of you as much as they do with their brother. You ended up being part of the Ji family with how much they cared for you during your years in high school.

“Yeah,” he says with a smile. “I haven’t seen them since 2nd-year winter break.”

Before you could say anything, Sunwoo decides to ask you a question. “Oh yeah, aren’t you supposed to be going to Japan for the break?” You shake your head before resting your back on the couch.

“It didn’t push through because my parents are going to be out of the country for a business trip,” you sigh. “I’m just going to be here rotting.”

“Really? You don’t have other relatives to spend the break with?” Chanhee asks you.

You shake your head with a sigh following. For most of your life, your parents have been attentive to you. However, when you started going to university, they grew busier due to more demand and obligations. You do not hold it against them for having to cancel the winter break plans—it had to be done and you knew there would be another time to go to Japan.

“Why don’t you try spending it with Changmin’s family?” Sunwoo suggests which makes you snap out of your thoughts. Before you could say anything, he says, “I mean, the Ji family does love you. What do you think, Changmin?”

You turn your head towards Changmin whose eyes were trained on Sunwoo and eyebrows furrowed. “I don’t want to intrude, really. I’ll be fine–”

“No, it’s okay,” your best friend cuts off. As he looks back at you, he shoots you a smile. “I’m sure my family would not mind having you for the winter break.”

“Are you sure? I don’t mind staying here.”

Changmin rolls his eyes and says, “It’s okay, we love having you in the house.” You allow yourself to smile. “I’m sure they would love to see you after 2 years.”

With that, he wraps his arm around your waist and brings you closer to him. You rest your head on his shoulder and continue to watch the variety show playing on the screen, unaware of the smirks your two other friends had.

“Oh god, am I mixing this right?”

Jacob peers over your shoulder and looks at what you are doing. As soon as he sees the mess, he cannot hold back his laugh.

You exclaim as you look back at the boy behind you. “Are you laughing?!”

“You’re fine! It’s just that I thought you overmixed but it’s very undermixed.”

Before you continue with the task at hand, you roll your eyes. “I barely bake, okay?” You shoot a playful glare at the boy who stood beside you who was mixing up the frosting.

“And I don’t bake, too!” He attempts to defend himself and then nudges your shoulder. “But you have to admit, this is fun.” You cannot help but smile.

It has been a week since Jacob asked you out on a date. You were able to recover from your fever thanks to your friends (which was honestly just an excuse for them to have a slumber party at your place). It was fun though—you kind of miss having them in your place.

Now, you were in a bakery that Jacob would frequent. He grew closer to the couple that runs it due to his visits. And somehow, he managed to reserve the kitchen for only you two to use (under the supervision of the owners, of course).

You could not lie—the date is cute. It is not the usual “dine-and-talk” that you have heard some of your friends go on. When Sunwoo went on his first date back in high school, you could remember how you and Changmin helped him plan it out.

“I don’t know what to do!” Sunwoo exclaims as he looks through his clothes. He moved every hanger, unsatisfied with every piece of clothing he had.

You and Changmin were lounging on Sunwoo’s twin bed with homework out while your best friend was having a dilemma. “I still can’t believe you managed to ask out Soojin,” you voice out as you were scribbling down the scientific names of common flowers. You nudge Changmin and ask, “Is this right?”

He takes a peek at your homework and lets out a chuckle. “You misspelled it. It’s Leucadendron—not Lucadeldron.” You roll your eyes as you erase your mistake.

“Science is not for me,” you say as you write the correct spelling.

“Yeah, well we all knew that,” Sunwoo mumbles under his breath as he still looks at his closet.

“Yah!” You grab a pillow and throw it at the guy. “Don’t you want us to help you?”

He turns around and frowns at you and Changmin. “I do, but you two aren’t even trying!” He points at the papers scattered on his bed. “How are you helping me if you’re studying?!”

Changmin sighs before dropping his pencil and getting off the bed. “Okay, what do you have in mind for tomorrow? Do you know where you’re going to take her?” As soon as Sunwoo shakes his head, you could only laugh in disbelief.

“You don’t have an idea?” Once you ask that, his eyes throw daggers in your direction. “I’m just shocked! To be fair, you have liked this girl since, so I thought you had something in mind.”

“Unfortunately, I don’t,” he sighs as he takes a seat on his bed. “This is terrible! I don’t want my first date to go bad.”

You and Changmin share a look as Sunwoo continues to wallow in anxiety. The two of you knew how much this means to your best friend. Who would not panic over going on a date with their long-time crush—let alone a first date? While Sunwoo was lost in his thoughts, Changmin pointed at his closet, giving you a silent signal that he would take care of his outfit.

“Okay, we’ll help you!” You scoot closer to Sunwoo and rest your hand on his shoulder. “Does she like to play board games? You can take her to the board game restaurant we always go to.”

“She doesn’t like playing board games.” He scratches the back of his neck. “She’s very competitive, and you know me.”

You sigh as you watch Changmin pull out a nice button-up shirt. “Well, does she like the aquarium?”

“She’s scared of fish.” As he says that, you tilt your head in confusion. “I don’t know. She once mentioned that she’s scared of the glass breaking.”

“Okay, can’t judge her entirely for that,” you chuckled under your breath as you thought about it more. You look over at Changmin who now holds three different hangers of clothing and decide to joke. “Changmin, do you have any ideas? Perhaps you’ve gone on a date?”

Your best friend looks over at you two as he still holds up some hangers of clothing. “Uh, yeah.” As he says that, your eyes widen in shock.

“You have?!” Sunwoo exclaims which has Changmin rolling his eyes.

“I was a sophomore when I went on a date with someone from the math honors society,” he answers as he raises a pair of jeans to envision the look he has in mind.

You gaped at him, in shock over what he revealed. “Goddamn, I thought you were bitchless.” Sunwoo cannot help but laugh beside you.

“Hey, that’s a good one.” As the two of you high-five, Changmin frowns.

“Yah! I’m not gonna give date ideas. You two figure it out,” he says as he continues to flip through whatever is in Sunwoo’s closet.

“No! C’mon, please! We won’t bully you anymore,” Sunwoo begs, only to be met with a sighing Changmin.

He looks over at the two of you once more who sat on the bed. “What does she like?”

Sunwoo hummed as he thought it over. “Well, she likes books, music, scrapbooking, and food.”

“Hm, you could bring her to the antique bookstore that Y/N and I always go to,” Changmin suggests only to earn a frown from Sunwoo. “Oh, I forgot that you hate reading.”

You tongue the inside of your cheek. “Well, you could also opt for a picnic date with some scrapbooking?” Your best friends look at you with eyebrows raised. “I mean, I should have some extra materials to spare since I stopped journaling.” When they continue to stare at you, you frown. “Jeez, don’t take my suggestion!”

“No, it’s good!” Changmin quickly says as he hangs the clothing pieces on the door for them to see. “I think this fit would be good for a picnic—fresh look!” The look is a navy blue collar shirt and a white tank top paired with beige jeans.

Sunwoo hums at the sight. “Damn, you guys are good with this, especially you,” he says as he looks at you.

Your eyebrows shoot up in confusion. “Me?”

“Yeah.” Changmin walks to the bed and goes back to answering his homework. “I wish I thought of doing that with someone,” he mutters under his breath.

You shrug and roll over. “To be fair, it’s something I would like. I don’t know if it is up Soojin’s alley, but it's worth a shot!”

Before you and Changmin could go back to work, Sunwoo jumps on you two which has you groaning. “Thanks, by the way. Once you guys go on future dates, I’ll help you out.”

You could only laugh as you continue to write some nonsensical names. “The day I go on a date is the day we know that nothing is real. Ain’t no way I’m finding love.”

And a few years later, you still could not believe you are on your first official date. Sunwoo did pull through; picking out some clothes; telling you what to do; easing your anxiety for the most part. You would have looped in Changmin for this but he was busy with schoolwork as finals season is approaching.

Since your best friends took care of you, you have not heard from him in a while. All you would get were short responses and excuses about why he could not talk or see you. You do not hold it against him though—he needed this time to focus on his thesis anyway.

“There we go!” Jacob exclaims as he looks over at your mixing bowl. “That looks good. We can pour it into the baking pan.” Once you nod, he moves the tray closer for you to pour into. Ever so slowly, the mixture created beautiful folds. The sight alone made you hungry.

“I’m so tempted to eat this cake batter up.” He laughs and takes the tray.

“We can’t have that happening! You need to wait,” he says as he walks closer to the oven that was preheated before you two started. You walk towards him to help in opening the oven so that he could place it in.

As soon as you shut it close, Jacob raises his hand for a high-five. “We did good,” you say as you high-five him back. “Hopefully, it turns out good.”

Jacob shrugs and says, “And if it doesn’t, I’d still be glad that we did this.” You only show him a small smile.

Everything in you wanted to agree with him. And yet, you hate that you could not agree with him wholeheartedly. You knew that your two best friends told you that you did not need to figure out your feelings for Jacob right after the first date. But oddly enough, you felt like pushing forward with him is almost like pushing mountains—unable to budge.

But it is not fair to completely shut him out without giving him another chance. At the end of everything, you want your first boyfriend to be him—you just needed time to rethink what you wanted. With that, you whisper, “Yeah, me too,” in hopes that all would be figured out.

At long last, you were done with the first semester. Oddly enough, you found yourself concluding finals season on a good note; saying goodbye to good groupmates and professors; acing projects you worked hard on; leaving classes with so much learned. The journey was not easy (and you would never want to experience it again), but you knew the next semester would be just as difficult.

Winter break came a week ago. Although Chanhee and Sunwoo already packed their bags and left as soon as it started, Changmin said that you two would leave as soon as the second week came in at the request of his parents. You did not mind waiting around, really. If anything, you were glad that you would be able to join them for the holidays.

It is 4:34 PM when you and Changmin arrive at Cheongju. As you take a deep breath of the air, you smile. It has been 2 years since you last stepped foot in this place. You notice that when you exhale, you see the air due to the cold temperature.

“Oh, I missed being here,” you mutter to yourself as you hold onto a hand-carry that carries your clothes for your seven-day stay in the Ji household. As you hear Changmin hum, you whip your head in his direction. For a moment, you swear he had his eyes on you briefly, but he was only looking off into the distance.

“Yeah,” he says with a small smile on his face. He fishes out his phone from his pocket and looks through his notifications. “I think Yuna noona should already be here. Let’s go to the pickup area.”

With that, you two drag your small luggage and make your way out of the train station to the curbside pickup point. Dozens of cars were lined up; some from those who resided in Cheongju while most were taxis. While Changmin was busy trying to get ahold of his sister, you stood close to him.

You have not told Changmin about what went down on your date with Jacob. The last time you talked about him was when you told your friends about him asking you on a date.

“So, I have some news to share with you all.”

You and your friends were sitting by the kitchen island with platters of gopchang and gimbap along with a bowl of ox bone soup. Since you were well from your fever, this would be the last night your friends were going to spend at your place. Everyone decided that today’s dinner should be good.

“What news?” Sunwoo asks with food in his mouth.

You say with furrowed eyebrows, “About my thing with Jacob.” Unbeknownst to you, your friends were already aware of what you were referring to.

“Your date with Jacob?”

As he says those words, you squeal before grabbing your phone. Once you open up your conversation with your crush, you hand off your phone to Changmin who is seated beside you. “I can’t believe he asked me out!”

Chanhee sighs and says, “I hate to break it to you, but Sunwoo already told us a few days ago.” With that revelation, you gasp.

“Are you serious, Kim Sunwoo?! I wanted to tell them!” You whine with your arms crossed.

The boy gives you a sheepish smile. “I just wanted to share the good news.” You roll your eyes at his response.

“I’m not going to tell you anything at this rate.”

With a pout on his face, he whines, “No! Don’t keep stuff from me, please.”

Before you could say anything, Changmin hands you your phone. “I’m happy for you,” he whispers with a small smile. You do not think much of his response, but when you notice your other best friends’ eyes on him, you cannot help but overthink.

When he continues to eat his food, the table falls into silence. For once, it was not comfortable at all.

Although you found yourself thinking about his reaction, you told yourself to not get too lost in your thoughts. There is no reason for you to rethink his words when all he has done is be honest with you. And if he was not ready to share something with you, you would be respectful of his boundaries.

Before you could get lost in your thoughts, you hear someone call out your name. “Y/N-ah!” As you look in the direction of where that sound came from, you see Yuna in a padded jacket. She stood by her car with a big smile on her face.

Without a thought, you grab onto Changmin’s hand with your free hand and jog to her. “Yuna! I’ve missed you!” You exclaim as you let go of your best friend’s hand and pull her into a hug.

“And I’ve missed you,” she responds as she holds you close to her. “I can’t believe it has been more than three years since I last saw you.”

Once you two let go of each other, she smiles at her brother and grabs onto his arm. “C’mon, give me a hug as well.” Although he rolls his eyes the moment she wraps her arms around him, he allows himself to melt in the hug. You knew how much he missed his sisters even if he would never admit it to them.

As soon as the two stop hugging each other, Yuna claps her hands. “C’mon, let’s get in the car. Eomma has been waiting for you two since the break started.”

As she gets in the driver’s seat, you and Changmin go to the trunk to stow away your luggage. Once you open it, Changmin grabs onto your luggage. “Let me,” he says. Before you could protest, he pulls it away from you and places your luggage neatly before he sets his down beside yours.

You smile at him the moment he closes the trunk. “Thanks.” All he does is smile and nudge your shoulder.

“You can pay me back by doing all my chores.”

“Yah!” As you scowl, all he does is laugh.

“Eomma! Y/N and Changmin are here!” Yuna calls out while she tries to remove her shoes. “You can put your shoes here,” she tells you as she points at the shoe rack. As you and Changmin set your shoes aside, she opens the door for you three. Before she goes off, she says, “I’ll just find eomma.”

When you first step into the Ji household, you notice that everything is almost the same as when you last visited; the walls were still off-white and littered with picture frames of the family throughout the years; the soban is the same one you remember stubbing your toe against during the dinners you were invited to; the aura that emits from being in this household is still as homey as ever.

A rush of nostalgia fills you—your heart aches nicely as you remember your memories in this home. But before you can reminisce, something snarls. Your eyes set on a poodle who runs in your direction, barking non-stop at you.

“Gana!” Your best friend exclaims as he crouches in front of his dog. Although the poodle continues to snarl at you, he only smiles as he holds his dog close to his chest. “I’ve missed you so much.”

You sigh with a frown on your face. “I think Gana forgot about me. He was never this aggressive back when I would visit.”

He only laughs as he continues to shower Gana with love. “I don’t think he ever liked you.” When he says those words, you gasp.

“Well, I don’t like him either!”

“That is a lie and we all know it. You want him to love you as much as he loves me,” he says as pets Gana.

Before you could say anything, you were interrupted by someone’s squeal. “Y/N-ah!” Your eyes rip away from the two and land on Changmin’s mom who is already rushing to you.

“Eomeoni!” You manage to say before she pulls you into a hug.

“What did I tell you about calling me that? Just call me eomma,” she says before letting you go. She pinches your cheeks with a big smile on her face. “Ah, you’ve grown so much since I last saw you.”

It is true. The last time you saw her was when you and Sunwoo graduated from high school. Changmin found time to go back home just in time to celebrate his best friends’ graduation. On that night, your families gathered for dinner to celebrate everything—whether small or big. You could remember that a few weeks later, you and Sunwoo had to pack your bags so that you could move to your apartments situated close to the university.

You smile at her and say, “Eomma, you’re still as young as when I last saw you.” With such flattery, she cannot help but grin at you.

As she lets go of your cheek, she shoots a smile at her son. “Changmin-ah,” she says while walking closer to him. Your best friend lets go of his dog and smiles at her. The moment he hugs her, you cannot help but feel your heart warm at the sight.

“Ah, you’re still as handsome as ever,” she coos, which has him blushing in embarrassment.

With a shy smile on his face, he says, “Eomma, you don’t need to say that in front of Y/N.” All you can do is giggle at your embarrassed friend while his mother ignores his request.

“Y/N-ah,” she says as she lets go of him. “You’ll be sleeping in Changmin’s room while he’ll sleep in the living room.”

Your eyes widen in shock as you attempt to protest. “Eomma, it’s okay! I’ll be fine sleeping in the living room.” She shakes her head as she grabs onto your hand.

“No, I already talked about this with Changmin on the phone. He said it’s fine.” As she reveals that information, you look at your best friend who only smiled at you. With a pout on your face, Changmin’s mom drags you to his room while you hold onto your luggage.

As she opens the door to Changmin’s room, you are met with the same room you stayed after every dismissal time. “I cleaned up a bit, but I didn’t want to mess with Changmin’s things,” his mom admits as you take a step into his room.

Similar to the rest of the household, nothing changed; the single bed that you, Changmin, and Sunwoo would work on was still pressed up against the wall; the black oak bookshelf that held his old books still had the carvings you three would leave every once in a while; the corkboard that hung on the wall still had pictures and tokens throughout his grade school and high school years; the wall mounted shelf that held his trophies and medals. In this room, you could see Changmin in every corner—the one you got to know back in high school and the one who you cared for even until now.

“Changmin might come in every once in a while to get some clothes, but I’ll make sure he respects your privacy.”

You let out a laugh at what she says. “Eomma, it’s okay. I don’t mind him bothering me. If anything, I need to thank him and you for allowing me to stay for the break.”

She gives you another smile and says, “Anytime.” She pinches your cheek once more (to which you smile) and walks out of the room, closing the door behind her.

You leave your hand-carry by the door as you look around the room once more. As you walk to the corkboard littered with photographs, you can spot ones with you and Sunwoo in them. Ranging from competitions to the first days of school, you smile at how much you three have grown through the years—from old uniforms and shabby haircuts to stylish clothing and redefined faces.

As your eyes scan through the other tokens such as ticket stubs and receipts, you spot cutouts of your articles along with his pictures that accompanied yours. Just from the sight, you cannot help but feel your heartstrings tug. You always knew he did this with your past collaborations, but seeing it after a while never fails to make you smile.

Although you try to rest your hand on the desk, your hand ends up hitting the handle of the drawer. You raise your head in pain and hiss at the sudden impact. “Shit,” you mutter to yourself.

Your eyes settle down on the drawer that is now slightly open. You were going to close it—you are not the type to snoop. But when you notice a paper that has the name of your university’s publication at the bottom corner, your hand reaches out to open the drawer further.

You could not believe what you were seeing—it is a cutup of your article on hustle culture in organizations. As your hand grabs onto it, you notice that there are more pieces of paper. While you sift through the cutouts, you realize it is all your articles during your time in the university’s publication.

Throughout your university life, you were always under the impression that Changmin would read your pieces—never keep them like how he did back in high school. And yet to see the stack of cutouts that had your byline had you like ice cream on a hot day. There were no right words to describe what you are feeling now for you did not even understand it. 

Still in shock, you stack them neatly in the drawer before shutting it close. Before you could recollect your thoughts, you hear the door swing open.

“Y/N?” Changmin calls out as his head peeks out. As he notices your shocked expression, he frowns. “Are you okay?”

You quickly show him a smile. “Yeah, I was just looking at the photos,” you lie as you point at the corkboard. “I can’t believe we were so young.”

He chuckles as he steps in, taking in his childhood room. Once he stands beside you, he takes a good look at his corkboard full of memories. “Do you remember when we took this?” With his finger pointing at a certain photograph, you cannot help but smile.

The picture was of you, Changmin, and Sunwoo having a picnic during the winter season—red noses and snowflakes on everyone’s hair. All dressed in padded jackets, you can remember how your fingers were about to fall off from the cold while you three attempted to do some scrapbooking.

“God, why did we even do that?”

Changmin nudges your shoulder. “Because you talked about wanting to go on a picnic before, remember?”

Once you look at him, you notice that he was already smiling at you. “For a date! And it didn’t have to be in the fucking cold,” you say as you roll your eyes.

“Hey, you still enjoyed it!” He exclaims to which you only sigh in defeat. It is true—you can remember how you almost cried over your friends preparing that picnic for you.

You used to be bothered by your uneventful love life (even if you did complain every once in a while). But when you remember what your friends did to remind you of their love for you, you realize that it is not bad to have nothing going on—you always have them to keep you company when you need it.

Before you could say anything, Changmin let out a sigh. “C’mon, we’re about to have dinner.” He grabs your hand before shooting you another smile. “I’m sure everyone wants to know everything about you.” You wish you could pinpoint the reason behind your heartstrings tugging. 

Everyone was gathered around the soban which carried a hearty spread of kimchi, bulgogi, jjajangmyeon, and yukgaejang. The sight of these deliciously prepared dishes had your mouth watering, but the smell of it all is to die for. Aside from the times Changmin has cooked you food when you were sick, you cannot remember the last time you had a homemade meal.

“Please, go eat!” Changmin’s dad says as he hands Changmin the bowl of spicy beef broth.

As you grin at his parents, you do not notice your best friend grabbing your bowl to pour some yukgaejang for you. You cannot help but stare at him as he pours the perfect amount of soup for you to eat.

“Thanks,” you whisper as he hands you back your bowl.

He shoots you a small smile before proceeding to do the same with everyone else. “Yah, that’s too much!” Yuna exclaims, which causes her brother to stop putting any more soup into her bowl. “You know how much Y/N wants but not how much I want?”

“Yuna noona, I don’t see you all the time,” he attempts to defend himself as he pours himself some soup while she berates him.

You wish you could comment—a bowl of soup should not mean that much. And yet, you cannot help but stare down at the bowl that holds the perfect amount for you.

“Hey, let’s not have this happen in front of our guest.” Changmin’s dad tries to break the quarrel. “Come on,” he says as he grabs the bowl of yukgaejang from his son. “I’ll take care of me and your eomma.”

Once Yuna was done grabbing some jjajangmyeon for herself, she passed the bowl to her brother. “What time is unnie and Byungho oppa coming home?” She asks while she places some bulgogi on her plate.

When Changmin grabs the right amount of black bean noodles for you, you give him a shy smile. “You know, you can get yourself some food first. I can handle getting my own.” All he does is shake his head, ignoring your request.

“Both of them should be arriving early in the morning,” Changmin’s dad says before taking a sip of the soup. “Ah, another good meal prepared by eomma.” As he says those words, your best friend’s mom cannot help but smile. You cannot help but smile at the sight of them in love.

After Changmin grabs his serving of jjajangmyeon, he takes the platter of bulgogi and places a few pieces on your plate before his. “Let me know if you ever want more,” he says before handing it off to his parents.

You shoot him a small smile before grabbing onto your bowl. Once you take a sip of the yukgaejang, you cannot help but moan—the spicy beef broth coats your tongue that has you hissing out of joy. “Eomma, it’s so good,” you say before taking another sip of the soup.

Changmin’s mom grins at you and says, “Thank you! Please eat well.”

As you all ate to your hearts’ and bellies’ contents, the Ji family would interview you and Changmin about all that has happened over the years. In the same way you expect to be bombarded with questions every time you visit your parents, you do not get overwhelmed by the interrogation. That is until the spotlight is put on your best friend.

“Changmin-ah, you’re already in your senior year—are you not dating anyone?” His mom asks which has him choking on his soup.

After you pat his back while he coughs, he says, “Eomma, I’ve been busy with school and dance.” As he says those words, his mother frowns.

“But what will happen after you graduate? College is the time to find that perfect someone!”

“Or maybe he’s still hung up on Suyeon,” Yuna snickers before taking a bite of her bulgogi.

Ji Suyeon—the girl from the math honors society that Changmin went on a date with. After he revealed to you and Sunwoo about his first date, you two did not stop interrogating him. What came as a big shock to Sunwoo is that he has gone on multiple dates with her—from dine-and-talks to board game ones.

But the biggest shocker for you is that they were together for a few weeks. When your best friend spoke of his past relationship, he did not hold any ill feelings toward her. The two ended their relationship on mutual terms—their priorities did not line up.

“Hey, I’m not!” Your best friend attempts to defend himself with a frown on his face. “I haven’t even thought about her in years.” Yuna only shrugs before going back to eating.

“Y/N-ah,” Changmin’s mom calls out, which has you looking at her. “You’re always with him. Does no one find him attractive there?”

You scratch the back of your head and manage to say a few words, “Uh, I’m sure people do find him handsome. But I wouldn’t know too much since he hasn’t mentioned anything.” With a sheepish smile on your face, you cannot help but feel your face burn at calling your best friend good-looking right in front of him and his family.

“Eomma,” he whines after taking a sip of his soup. “I’m not interested in anyone right now. If anything, aren’t you happy that I’m focused on my studies?”

She sighs, “But I don’t want you to be lonely. Did you know that your dad and I met in college?”

“Eomma, we know.” Yuna shakes her head as she grabs some more bulgogi. “You always talk about it.”

As soon as Changmin’s mom shoots a look at her husband, he sighs. “Your mom is only looking out for you, okay? She just doesn’t want you to miss out on finding the love of your life.”

Their son sighs at their words. For a moment, you do not know if you should step in and back him up. With your eyes on his side profile, you notice that he is deep in thought. But when he turns his head to face you, you feel yourself crumble under his stare.

“I’m happy with Y/N.” You cannot help but feel your eyes widen. Staring right back at him, you do not know what to make of his words. But he does not allow you to think about it as he chokes out the words, “And with the other friends I have.” He looks back at his family. “I’m sure I’ll figure it out, so no need to worry.”

With a smile on his face, his parents eventually let go of the topic. Although they continue to talk about the other things happening in their lives, you still find your mind pondering on the first half of his words.

It is 10:15 AM. You were in the kitchen helping Changmin’s mom prepare some kimchi for the next month. Although she kept denying your help, you kept insisting by saying that it is only right to help out with anything at home since they allowed you to stay over for the holidays.

“Like this, eomma?” You ask as you show her the cabbage coated in kimchi paste.

She looks at your work and nods. “You’re doing it right! Cover it in more paste and it will be good.” You follow her instructions and continue to coat the other cabbage leaves with the same amount of paste. “How are your parents?”

You look up at her with a small smile on your face. “They’re okay. I called them last night, and they wanted to thank you again for having me over.”

“Don’t even worry about it,” she says as she shakes her head. “I consider you family—whenever you need me, I’ll be there for you.”

You cannot help but smile at her words. It is true—Changmin’s mom has always been there for you and Sunwoo whenever you needed her. Even after Changmin graduated from high school, you two always found themselves in the Ji household. There were cases where your parents could not have dinner with you which meant eating with Changmin’s parents. You are thankful for them—they are your second family.

The sounds of her favorite radio station accompanied you two as you work. While you were focused on preparing the kimchi, you do not notice when someone enters the kitchen. “I thought you’d be more happy to see me.” When you look up, you cannot help but gasp at the person’s presence.

“Hanhee!” You exclaim as you quickly stand up from your seat. As she wraps her arms around you, you try to hug her back while making sure that no kimchi paste gets on her. “I’ve missed you so much.”

As she lets go of you, you see a big smile on her face. “My bestie, I’ve missed you.” You step aside so that her mom could hug her as well.

“My Hanhee,” she says as she gives her daughter a big hug. “Have you settled in already?”

Once Hanhee nods, the three of you take a seat. “So, how are you, Y/N? Is my brother still causing you trouble?” You can only laugh as you coat a cabbage leaf with kimchi paste.

“Well… he’s definitely something,” you speak as you work. “But I’m doing very well. He’s been a big help.” Hanhee hums as she watches you and her mom make some more kimchi. “What about you? How are you?”

She gives you two a smile before saying, “Surprisingly, I’m very happy where I am. Work can be stressful but… at least my fiancé is there to support me.”

“Fiancé?! You and Byungho are engaged?!” As you gasp, Changmin’s mom cannot help but laugh.

“Hanhee and Byungho recently got engaged,” she says as she removes her plastic gloves. “I’ll go get the container while you two talk.” As soon as she leaves the kitchen, Hanhee shoots you a smile.

“I’m so happy for you.”

She lets out a happy sigh. “I know, I can’t believe he proposed. Who would’ve expected that I would marry my best friend?”

As she says those words, your mind cannot help but drift to Changmin. The idea of him all dressed up in a suit as he stands by the—wait, why were you thinking about this? You briefly frown and shake your head at the thought.

“Honestly, you and Byungho are soulmates,” you say with a smile in an attempt to cover up for whatever had you in your thoughts.

She chuckles before asking, “Do you think my brother is your soulmate?” You cannot help but physically reel at her question which has her laughing. “Like, platonic soulmate, you know?”

You bite the inside of your cheek as you ponder her words. Changmin has always been your best friend—the reason why you are able to keep on going. In the same way Byungho and Hanhee support each other, you two always look out for each other. But would it be right to call him your soulmate?

Before you could answer, Yuna and Changmin came into the kitchen. “Hanhee noona,” your best friend says as he hugs his sister. “Where’s Byungho hyung?”

“Already looking for him? Why don’t you spend time with your noona?” Hanhee teases as she keeps her arms wrapped around him.

Yuna takes a seat beside you as she looks at the kimchi. “Wow, Y/N is helping eomma out while Changmin is lounging around.” She clicks her tongue which causes Changmin to frown at her.

“Hey, I didn’t know!” He attempts to defend himself. “Eomma usually doesn’t let me help out when it comes to kimchi.”

Hanhee shakes her head as she finally lets go of her brother. “Look at Y/N doing all that they can to help out while your lazy ass is just spending time with Gana.”

“To be fair, Gana misses me.”

“Gana misses everyone,” Yuna says as she rolls her eyes. “Why don’t you go help out appa and Byungho oppa outside?”

Changmin frowns at you three before saying, “I hate you three.” As soon as he leaves the kitchen, you and his sisters cannot help but laugh.

“It’s always so fun to rile him up,” Hanhee laughs.

“Honestly, it’s one of my favorite things to do every time we come back here.” Yuna smiles at you two. “Anyway, unnie, tell me what has been going on with you!” As the three of you talk about anything and everything, you do not forget about Hanhee’s question. For now, you will shove it to the back of your mind.

The next day comes. You and Changmin were on your way to pick up some food from a restaurant you two used to frequent back in high school. Since his mom had stuff to attend to, everyone agreed that it would be fine to have some takeout for today’s lunch. Although your best friend was supposed to go alone, you thought it would be good to join along (mainly because you wanted to explore the city with him as well).

“God, it still looks the same,” you say as you two were walking with linked arms. As you pass by the old mart you, Sunwoo, and Changmin would go to after school, you cannot help but gasp. “Even the mart is the same!”

Your best friend rolls his eyes over your excited behavior but cannot hide the smile that shows on his lips. “You’ve been gone for two years; I don’t think too much can change.”

“You never know!” You nudge your best friend’s shoulder. “Two years ago, I was still under the impression that Hanhee and Byungho were still girlfriend and boyfriend—not engaged.”

He shakes his head and lets out a sigh. “To be fair, I think we all expected that they would end up marrying each other.”

Before you could say anymore, you two finally arrived in front of the restaurant. The exterior of it still looked the same but old; the paint has chipped off of the letters; the wood’s color resembles sand; the fairy lights did not shine as brightly as they used to. And yet, you cannot help but smile at the place that sheltered your friend group.

As soon as Changmin swings the door open, you attempt to unlink your arm with his so that you could enter first. And yet, he makes sure that his hand still holds onto your arm. You cannot help but feel your heart warm at the action. Your best friend has always been the clingy type, so why are you feeling all of these now?

The moment you two enter, he links his arm once more with yours. The restaurant is small, only having six tables with each one having two chairs of their own. It seemed that there were only five customers in as they ate away on their tteokbokki and ramyeon. The cashier is manned by the one and only person who your friend group has grown close to over the high school years. Once his eyes trail up towards you two, the shock on his face is one for the books.

“Y/N-ah!” Minho, the owner of the restaurant, exclaims as he makes his way towards you. As soon as he reaches you, he wraps his arms around you two. You cannot help but melt in the hug. As soon as he lets go of you two, he looks at the boy who went back to linking arms with you and says, “Of course, Changmin! Oh, you grow even more handsome every time I see you.” Your best friend cannot help but give him a small smile.

“I’ve missed you, harabeoji.” As you pout, Minho cannot help but pinch your cheek.

“We’re here to pick up the food my dad ordered,” Your best friend says as he holds you close to his side.

Minho nods with a smile on his face. “Of course.” He makes his way back to the counter which you two follow. “It’s so nice to see you after so long,” he says as he grabs onto a plastic bag. “I see that time still treats you two well.” As he points at your linked arms, you cannot help but tilt your head in confusion. “I mean, I’m happy to see that you guys are together! I never knew you two liked each other that way.”

As soon as he says those words, your eyes widen. This cannot be happening again—what changed between you and Changmin to come off as a couple to almost everyone? You look at your best friend who stood beside you with a flustered expression.

“Ah no, it’s not like that,” he coughs out before grabbing onto the plastic bag that held containers of tteokbokki.

Once you look at Minho, you notice a disappointed expression on his face. “Oh, I see. But I’m still happy to see you two are still friends!”

Despite his attempt to clear up the awkward air, you cannot deny the unsettling feeling in your stomach. With people questioning the nature of your relationship with Changmin (along with the news of Minhee’s and Byungho’s engagement), you were not sure if what you have with him is platonic as you make it out to be.

It should not matter though. Whatever you have with Changmin is your business—not anyone else’s. What if your best friend always found himself linking arms with you? What if your best friend always takes care of you whenever you are drunk? What if your best friend still keeps newspaper clippings of what you write?

And what if you crave his presence? What if you care so much about what he feels? What if you cherish all of his competitions and wins? What if you did think of Changmin as your soulmate? But none of these should matter—what you two have is perfectly platonic. 

“Well, how long are you two staying here?” Minho snaps you out of your thoughts

With a bitter smile, your best friend says, “We’re only here until the end of this week.”

Minho cannot help but pout at his revelation. “I see,” he sighs. “But it’s still nice to see you, Y/N, especially after all these years.”

You shoot him a smile before saying, “Harabeoji, this might not be the last time I see you.” You take a quick glance at your best friend who seemed to have his eyes on you. “I’m sure Changmin and I can go here once more before we leave.”

“Ah, that’s my Y/N—still as caring as ever.” Your smile gets bigger as he says those words. “Tell your parents I say hi,” he tells your best friend to which he nods.

As soon as you two bid farewell to Minho, you make your way out of the restaurant, arms still linked with each other. Although the silence should have been comfortable, you cannot deny that Minho’s comment had you wondering about your relationship.

When the night comes, you are seated beside Changmin on his futon while Yuna, Hanhee, and Byungho stay on the couch. Changmin’s parents decided to call the day early and went to sleep early. It has been a while since you five last hung out together like this (while still missing Sunwoo).

“Sunwoo is pulling bitches?!” With the way Yuna exclaims, you cannot help but burst into laughter and lean on your best friend while Hanhee smacks her arm.

“Yah! Don’t be too loud when you curse!” The sister scowls before leaning back into the arms of her fiancé. Yuna frowns at her sister as she rubs on the spot where she was smacked. “But I can’t believe our little Sunwoo has grown up.”

You roll your eyes as you rest your chin on your best friend’s shoulder. “Barely,” you mutter, which only has Changmin chuckling. “He is unfortunately still as immature as he was in high school. I don’t know what people see in him.”

“I can only imagine,” Hanhee sighs. “But enough about Sunwoo, what about you? Has anyone stolen your little heart?”

When she raises that question, you cannot help but feel your cheeks get warm. As soon as the two sisters notice your flustered expression, they gasp. “Y/N! What have you been keeping from us?!” Hanhee exclaims, which makes Yuna scowl at her.

“I thought we agreed to not be too loud!”

Hanhee rolls her eyes and says, “Yeah, but that was before I found out that Y/N has a boyfriend!”

You lift your chin from Changmin’s shoulder and shake your head. “It’s not a boyfriend.”

“But it’s still someone, right?” Yuna shows you a teasing smile.

You feel your breath hitch in your throat. Jacob Bae is that supposed someone to you, right? So why could you not find it within yourself to answer the question?

“He’s a 5th-year student who works in the university’s newspaper,” your best friend takes over as he grabs hold of your hand that rests on the space between you two. Your heart warms at the action. “They’ve only gotten closer this year.”

The two sisters hum at the information their brother shares. “A senior, huh? I’m impressed,” Yuna says before looking at Hanhee. “Wasn’t Byungho oppa a senior when you first met him?”

The sister nods as she looks at her fiancé. “Yeah,” she mutters as the two smile at each other.

In that shared moment, your mind wanders off to how nice it would be to be secured in the idea of having an “each other.” Although you have accepted a possible reality where you will be forced to work to the bone, a part of you longed to still have someone who you could go back home to—you wish for a future where there will always be a place of solace curated just for you.

“For your information, your sister and I are only a year apart,” Byungho says as he finally rips his gaze away from Hanhee to look at Yuna. “But yes, I was a senior in high school. Imagine if Hanhee joined the chess club earlier—maybe we could’ve been together for longer.”

“Not even! I used to hate your guts when I first joined,” Hanhee argues despite Byungho’s arms still wrapped around her figure.

The fiancé chuckles before he snuggles his face into the side of her neck. “But we’re here after nine years—isn’t that funny to think about?” And truth be told, it is comical for you all in this room. Who would have imagined that the cocky (but loser) senior wooed the cold-hearted junior?

“God, get a room!” Yuna frowns as she throws a pillow at the two. “Ruined the mood for all of us single people here—aka me and Changmin.”

You pout at her before saying, “I’m also single.”

“Okay, but you have your senior!” She rolls her eyes as she stands up from the couch. “You all suck, I’m going to dip.” Despite everyone’s attempts to keep her from leaving, she retreated to her room as if she was never there.

Hanhee yawns before she looks down at her phone. “It’s only 10:45 PM? God, I am getting old.” Byungho chuckles the moment she sits up straight. As soon as she stands up from the couch, she grabs onto her fiancé’s arm and pulls him up.

“You kids,” she points at you and Changmin. “Do not stay up too late.”

Byungho rolls his eyes before wrapping his arms around her once more. “Don’t tell them what to do—let them enjoy their break to the fullest.” Despite the frown that stays on Hanhee’s face, she melts into his embrace as he drags them out of the room.

And there remained you two—his hand still intertwined with yours as if you were the last thing he could latch onto. The silence that wraps around you two is deafening, but you are scared to even let out a croak. You spend all the minutes second-guessing what should be done only for your best friend to beat you to it.

“I’m sorry, by the way.” As soon as those words leave his mouth, you cannot help but frown at him. “It wasn’t my place to reveal whatever you have going on with Jacob.”

You cannot help but pout before shaking your head in reassurance. “It’s okay. I’m going to be honest, I didn’t know what to say so I’m glad you took over.”

“You want to talk about it?” Once your best friend asks you that question with a bitter smile, every part of you unwraps itself from its shell—defenseless as a cub during the winter time. You would have bottled it up like always, but the late hours of the day held power unlike no other. In these times, you let every sentiment be shared with him.

“I–I don’t know,” you whisper with your eyes staring into the picture frame that rested on the wall—a picture of Changmin who you can only assume to be around five years old as he stood in a park with his baby blue shirt and orange backpack. You move your intertwined hands to your lap. “I thought it would be unfair to still be confused about how I feel towards Jacob, but the first date solidified my previous thoughts.”

You take a brief glance at the boy who sits beside you only to see that his eyes still remain on you. With no reaction from him, you take this as an opportunity to continue. “Is it weird to want him to be my first boyfriend? Even if I don’t know what to feel towards him?” You let your eyes zero in on your best friend whose shoulders seemingly tensed.

A voice within you was begging for him to know the right words to say, but when he whispers “I–I don’t know,” you find yourself lost in the end. Your best friend did not have the answers to every question you could possibly hold, so why did it matter that he had nothing to offer you now?

“I mean, what happened?” He chokes out the question as he moves his hand away from yours to wrap around your shoulder. “Did the date not go well?”

You shake your head as you watch his free hand reach out for your hand once more. In the way he cradles you, you felt all the walls you built collapse. “It went so well—that’s why I don’t understand what’s wrong with me.” You look back up at your best friend. “I thought that the date would reaffirm my crush on him. But now, I’m kind of left with more things I don’t understand.”

It is not like you went into this world with everything made crystal clear to you. If anything, life always brought uncertainties. But at this exact moment, you only wish for what is certain—what could that possibly be?

“Hey,” he whispers before bringing your head close to his lips. As he brings your temple to his lips, you cannot help but feel your eyes close at the sensation—his lips on your skin as if it were the only thing that could bring you warmth during a snowstorm.

This should not be happening; you knew that this crossed the boundary of what you two drew during your years of friendship. And yet, you wish it could stay like this—you beg for the universe to let it remain this way.

But just as things should be, his lips leave your temple. The absence has you flutter your eyes open. As he draws circles with his thumb on the back of your hand, he says, “I–I get it, there’s a lot of things you don’t understand right now, but don’t pressure yourself into anything.” He takes a deep breath. “Feelings are weird, so just take your time.”

He repeats the first advice he shared with you the night before his competition. And you have no issue with him saying it again, and again, and again because a part of you needed to come to terms with something you kept avoiding—what were you avoiding?

You cannot help but let out a chuckle as your eyes shut close. What would it take for you to be sure of something? Why could you not find yourself jumping head-first with the boy you have fantasized about for years? All these questions and no one could answer but you and the universe.

With eyes still closed, you sigh, “These feelings are going to end up being the reason why I don’t end up getting into a relationship.” Your best friend cannot help but chuckle as he continues his ministrations. “I just,” your eyes open and look down to his hand that wraps around yours. “I look at Minhee and Byungho and your parents, and I beg that I am lucky to have that.”

“And you will have that—it just takes time,” your best friend whispers into your hair. “It took them time.”

You let out a chuckle, and you do not think of the next words that leave your mouth. “God, if we’re still single when we’re thirty, let’s just get married.”

As soon as Changmin stops drawing circles on the back of your hand, that is when you are hit with the reality of what your words meant. What do you mean by getting married at the age of thirty? Why would you even think of getting married to your best friend in the first place?

And you almost blurt out an excuse, until he lets out a chuckle. “When I’m thirty or when you’re thirty?” Warmth occupies every space in your body—it is as if the sun has taken over the snowstorm.

“Maybe when I’m thirty.” You giggle before taking a look at your best friend who seemed to always have his eyes on you. “I might be able to find someone before I turn that age, so I can’t just marry you when I’m twenty-eight.”

He hums before he lets his eyes drift down to your linked hands. “Says the person who doesn’t even know how to feel about their crush liking them back.” As soon as the words drift out of his mouth, you cannot help but gasp.

“Hey!” You exclaim as you use your free hand to smack his arm. While he erupts into laughter, you roll your eyes. “Can’t believe you’re using that against me right now.”

His arm is still wrapped around your shoulders while his free hand still holds yours. You let yourself melt into his embrace before letting out a sigh. Once your head found its spot in the space between his head and shoulder, his chin ever so slightly rests on top of yours.

Nothing needs to be said—the silence that settles is just as comforting as the usual ones you two share. The snow falls; crystals form on the window panes; the night has grown chiller than ever. But you are glad that in the cold, you will always find warmth.

It is 2:26 PM when you and Changmin’s sisters come back home. The three of you decided to spend the day at the mall by yourselves, away from everyone else. In Yuna’s defense, she said that you three needed to have your own hangout without any interference. You had no complaints though—you love the sisters and their company (even more than you like spending time with Changmin).

You shook the snow off your hair as you three stepped into the warm Ji household. While you attempt to remove your shoes, Hanhee sniffles. “God, that was fun! It brings me back to old times.”

“I know, right?” Yuna sighs happily as she sets her shoes aside. She grabs everyone a pair of slippers and hands her sister her pair.

Before she can hand you one, she notices you still struggling to remove your shoes. “Come on,” she says as she reaches her hand out. “You can hand me the gift. I won’t do anything to ruin it.” You roll your eyes as you hand off the plastic bag.

A giggle leaves Hanhee’s mouth as you crouch down to undo the laces. “I’m just saying, I didn’t know you think about him that much—let alone at all.”

“I just thought he would like it,” you shyly admit as you finally get one shoe off. While you work on the other shoe, you say, “I knew he would get upset if I didn’t buy it for him.”

During your time at the mall, your mind was always on a singular thought—a person. In your time shopping with Hanhee and Yuna, you were always looking at items that a particular someone would like; chestnut keychains; small figurines from horror movies; plushies that resembled his pet poodle. You never realized it though, until the sisters had pointed it out for you.

“Since when did you like horror movies?” Your shoulders shoot up at the sudden question. You turn in panic to see Yuna frowning in confusion.

“H-huh? Oh, I don’t,” you say before pointing at the red-faced demon from Insidious. “I just know that Changmin likes the franchise, so I was figuring out whether or not to get it for him. But he doesn’t even collect to begin with.”

“Is that why you were also looking at the stuffed toy a while ago? The one that looks like our dog?” As she asks that question, you raise your eyebrows in shock. You did not know that they noticed you looking through the section that held a variety of animal plushies. Before you could ask, she squints her eyes in suspicion. “You know, I didn’t know you thought about my brother so much.”

“Huh? No, I don’t.” You reel back at her words. “I just know that he would be upset if I didn’t bring him back anything.”

Yuna hums as she continues to stare you down. “I mean, we’re bringing back hotteok for the whole family.”

Before she could say more, Hanhee comes in with a basket full of chocolates hanging off her arms. “Okay, I got what I needed! What about you guys?” Although you nod, there was a battle happening within you—you could not decide what to bring back home for your best friend.

“Just buy the plushie that looks like Gana,” Yuna suggests, which has you snapping out of your thoughts. “I’m sure Changmin would appreciate it since he always misses Gana whenever he leaves Cheongju.”

While Hanhee shoots a confused look at her sister, you let out a sigh before smiling. “Thank you.” While you were making your way back to where the plushies were, Yuna shared her observations with her older sister who could only gasp at the newfound information.

“Whatever you say, Y/N,” Hanhee hums as soon as you finally get your other shoe out. As soon as you set your shoes aside, you grab the slippers and plastic bag from Yuna with a small pout on your face.

You know that if you do not clear it up now, they will go on with their assumptions. With that, you let out a sigh. “It’s not like that,” you start. “I was just thinking that he would appreciate the gift. Also, he let me stay with you guys for the break.” A small smile takes over your face as you look down at the plastic bag.

Once you look back up at the two, you notice their smug expressions. “Whatever, let’s go in. The hotteok will get cold,” Yuna says before opening the door.

As soon as you three step in with slippers on your feet, you are greeted by Byungho whose hair is wet. “Oh, you three are back!” He gives Hanhee a peck on the lips which only has her smile.

“How was helping out appa in the garden?”

Byungho shrugs at Yuna as he wraps his arm around Hanhee’s waist. “Not bad.” But when Yuna raises her eyebrow in confusion, he finds himself fessing up. “Fine, it was hard. I didn’t know shoveling out snow took so much energy and time.”

Hanhee cannot help but shake her head. “Here,” she hands him the box of hotteok. “We thought of bringing back the family something.”

He smiles before unwrapping his arm around her. As he holds the box in his two hands, he says, “Eomma and appa are out to visit the neighbors, so I’ll make sure to save them some.”

“What about Changmin?”

The three look at you the moment you ask that question, only to see you fiddling with the plastic bag. “He’s napping,” Byungho says with a small smile.

You give him a nod before making your way to the living room. On the futon, you spot your best friend whose eyes were closed as he held his dog close to him. The two snore softly—almost as if they had nothing to worry about.

With a small smile on your face, you unzip your padded jacket and remove it before taking a seat on the wooden floor. Right where you sat, your face hovers over him. At this moment, you only realize now that Changmin has grown up since you first got to know him.

His features are the same yet different; his chestnut hair that is sprawled against the pillow is groomed better than his tacky haircut back in high school; the baby fat he used to have in his cheeks has almost vanished; his jaw is more defined than you first remember it to be.

But past all these changes, he is still the boy you worked with in your high school’s publication team; the one who manages to rile you up on the days you do not want your patience to be tested; the guy who has taken care of you after every party; the best friend who has permanently carved his place in your life.

As you continue to look at his sleeping figure while his sisters and Byungho continue to chatter away in the kitchen, you cannot help but feel your heart warm at the sight. The smile that shows on your lips is undeniable—anyone who could see you right now would misunderstand.

But the voice in the back of your head almost begs that everyone would misinterpret it all—god, what were you even thinking? How could you even think of such nonsense? And yet, you only push those questions further back in your mind. All you care about at that moment is him—not you.

When your hand reaches out to swoop away the hair that rests near his eyes, you notice how he frowns at the sudden sensation. You hold back a giggle and retract your hand. When you set the plastic bag down on the floor, it rustles. And before you know it, Gana’s eyes start to open.

The moment he sees you, he snarls and jumps out of your best friend’s grasp. The sudden action causes Changmin to slowly wake up from his nap. Upon hearing the barking, he quickly sits up only to see you in cahoots—your face is all scrunched up as you try to hold his dog back from chewing you up.

“Oh my god, Gana!” He exclaims as he quickly grabs his dog from your hands. Although his pet continues to snarl at you, he pets him in hopes that he will calm down.

“Gana hates me.” His eyes trail up only to see you shaking your head. “He’s so defensive when it comes to you.”

Your best friend cannot help but chuckle as he tries to distract his dog from your presence. With just a few more pats, Gana started to slowly calm down. “When did you guys get back?”

With how groggy he sounds, you cannot help but giggle. “Just a few minutes ago,” you start as you fold your padded jacket. “We have hotteok in the kitchen if you want.”

All he does is hum before kissing Gana’s head. “Go to Yuna noona, okay?” He talks in a baby-like voice and nuzzles his face once more into Gana’s head. Somehow, his pet poodle understood and ran off to the kitchen, leaving you two alone.

Your best friend’s eyes zero in on the plastic bag that settles on the floor. “What’s that?” With a small smile, you grab onto it.

“Well, when we were going shopping, I stumbled upon something that you might like,” you start as you twirl the bag around. “It was either this or some small figurine from Insidious.” Once you hand it to Changmin, he cannot help but frown in confusion.

As his hand reaches into the bag, his fingers graze against something soft. His frown gets deeper and you can only laugh. Once he pulls out the item, his eyes land on a brown stuffed toy—one that resembles Gana in almost every way possible. His mouth parts open as he spins the toy around to admire it.

“I know that whenever you leave Cheongju, you always find yourself missing Gana. So when I spotted this, I thought of buying it for you—just so that this can at least make up for his absence.” With his eyes still on the toy, you do not know if you should anymore. You take a deep breath before saying, “I also thought that it would be a good way to thank you. I mean, you let me crash your winter break.”

As soon as his eyes drift away from the plushie and then towards you, you let out a shy chuckle. “You know I just–”

And before you know it, he wraps his arms around your shoulders and brings you into that all-knowing warm embrace. You feel your breath hitch in your throat as he holds you close, but you remember that it is just him who has the privilege of holding you this close.

It is only a few seconds later that he realizes he has hugged you without you initiating it. Out of all people, he knew fully well that you were often uncomfortable during these situations. But before he can unwrap his arms around you, your arms wrap around his waist and hold him as close as you could.

The moment he feels you ease into the embrace makes him smile. “Thank you,” he whispers into your shoulder before nuzzling his face into the crook of your neck. As you feel his slow and steady breath on the right side of your neck, you cannot help but close your eyes.

You and Changmin knew each other in every way possible—in every aspect you two willingly shared. Every left shoe had to come with a right one; rain is followed with sunshine; linked arms always came with bruised hearts—there is no other way to capture you two.

It is 7:42 PM. Tomorrow, you and Changmin have to go back to your apartments since the second semester will commence three days from now. The time you spent in the Ji household is unlike no other—you hope you can visit again during the upcoming breaks. You did not want to say goodbye to it all; the home-cooked meals Changmin’s mom provided; the spicy tteokbokki Minho always prepared for you only; the town that you grew up in.

“I don’t want to go back tomorrow,” you whine as you stand in the kitchen while holding a cup of jujube tea that Hanhee prepared for you. “I just want to stay in Cheongju with you guys.”

The weather is still cold as ever; the crystals on the window panes have grown frustrating to look at; the snow that piles on the lawn is immovable; the idea of walking out of the house is unimaginable.

Yuna laughs while leaning on the kitchen counter before taking a sip of her tea. “You know we won’t be here either, right? You’ll be staying with our parents.”

“I don’t mind.”

The sisters shake their heads with smiles on their faces. “I’m sure our parents wouldn’t mind either, but you have to continue with your studies,” says Hanhee.

With a frown on your face, you retort, “Well, I could still drop out.”

She crosses her arms as she raises her eyebrows at you. “Okay, and you’ll do what?”

“Well,” you pause as you take a moment to think. You scrambled for ideas, only to blubber them out without a second thought.

“I could work with your dad with gardening stuff!”

Yuna scoffs, “You can’t even take care of plants.”

“Well, Minho would most definitely offer me a job at his restaurant.”

“Minho is not looking to hire someone,” Hanhee counters.

You scratch the back of your neck. “I’m sure someone will need me here.”

“And your parents will scold you for not continuing your education. Do you want that?” The moment Yuna asks you that has you pouting.

“I was just kidding,” you whisper before taking another sip of your tea.

The sister lets out a sigh before saying, “We know that. You know, just enjoy your college years! You’re only in your second year anyway.” While she shoots you a smile, you cannot help but frown. “I know, university is hard. I’ve gone through it all, but I would much prefer undergoing those years, again and again, rather than facing what adulthood has forced upon me.”

As soon as Yuna looks at her sister, Hanhee takes it as a sign to continue the thought. “Yeah, it’s not fun working an 8-5 hour desk job while having to worry about taxes or groceries.” When she thinks of more things to complain about, you notice the way she almost physically reels at the thought. “Jesus, I hate being a working adult. I realized I need to pay my statement to the bank every month and work ungodly hours to provide barely for me and Byungho.”

The moment your expression shifts from its frown to a terrified one, Yuna decides to cut her sister off. “Okay, let’s not scare Y/N too much,” she chuckles as she sets her cup on the counter. “Adulthood is scary, but you’ll get through it. Yeah, fuck having to pay bills or balancing chores all while working how many hours. But trust me, you will manage.”

Although Yuna attempts to ease your anxieties, you feel the floor swallow you whole. All the times you said you felt secure in your future—lies. It is always about deluding yourself into being okay with everything, but the reality is that you are dreading every second that passes.

“Oh my god, Y/N!” Hanhee snaps her fingers to get you out of your thoughts. When your eyes settle on her, you notice the small reassuring smile that rests on her lips. “I promise, you’ll be okay.” She walks to you and wraps her arm around you. “Most especially if you have someone to lean on throughout the journey.”

As she says those words, you frown. “What are you trying to insinuate?”

“Me?” She laughs as she drops her arm from your shoulders. “I’m not insinuating anything… unless you are?”

Everyone in the kitchen knew what her words entailed, and you did not want to acknowledge whatever they speculated about your feelings. You have full control over what you feel—you are not going to allow others’ opinions to influence you.

You roll your eyes before finishing the remnants of your tea. “Whatever,” you mutter as you wash the cup. “There’s nothing going on.” Once you set it aside to dry, you spin around to see the two raise their eyebrows at you.

“Whatever, we’ll leave you to your loverboy.” The moment Yuna says that makes you gasp, making your eyes face towards the living room where Changmin is busy playing with Gana.

“You can’t say that out loud!” You scold her as quietly as possible.

The sisters burst into giggles before taking their cups of tea in their hands. “We’re going to our rooms. You two have fun.” They do not attempt to listen to your protests as they make their way out of the kitchen. Now, you are left on your own while your friends think whatever they want to think.

As you let out a sigh, you allow your feet to take you to the living room. Upon entering, your eyes land on your best friend who sat in front of his dog while holding up the plushie you got him. His eyes hold every possible star in the universe as he plays with his one and only.

“Gana! Look at this, it’s you!” Changmin coos at his dog who only stares up at him in confusion. Although he shakes the toy at him, Gana stays stuck in place as he tilts his head.

Before you know it, you let out a chuckle at the sight. As your best friend turns his head towards you, he shoots you a grin—one that has been permanently stamped into your memories only for you to remember.

Once he diverts his attention from his pet, the dog cannot help but bark at him. He lets out a sigh before dropping the plushie and wrapping his arms around Gana. “You are so needy, you know that? Just like Y/N over there.” The moment he points at you makes you gasp.

“I am not needy.” Despite your attempt to defend yourself, your best friend only rolls his eyes.

“I’ve known you for five years. You are needy, even needier than Sunwoo,” he says, which only has you frowning. As he sees your expression shift, he cannot help but laugh. “C’mon, sit with me.”

When he says those words, the poodle in his arms starts to growl. “I don’t think that’s a good idea,” you say as you look back at the dog who has his eyes on you.

Despite Gana’s behavior, Changmin shakes his head before saying, “Trust me, just sit down.” With his pleading eyes staring right at you, you felt helpless to his requests. Even if a dog were to bite your hand off, you wanted to follow his requests. And somehow, you found yourself taking a seat on the floor right beside him.

Gana starts to bark which only makes you put some distance between you and Changmin. However, as your best friend starts to stroke the dog’s fur, you notice the way Gana starts to calm down.

“What we’re going to do today is get Gana used to you.” As the words leave his mouth, you look at him with wide eyes. Upon seeing your reaction, he cannot help but chuckle. “It is possible. You see the bag of treats on the coffee table?” You turn your head to spot what he was talking about. “Just get some—he’s usually weak to treats.”

You shoot him an unsure look, almost betting every poker chip that this would not go well. But when he shows you his reassuring smile, you feel all resolve crumble just like that. As your hand reaches out into the bag, you grab a small handful of dog treats.

“Okay, keep your hand closed first,” he says as soon as you bring your hand out. “Place it near Gana’s snout and he’ll smell the treats.” You follow his instructions, allowing the defensive dog to place his nose near your hand.

As soon as Gana gets a whiff of the dog treats, he continues to smell your hand. “Okay, you can open it now.” And as you follow his instructions, the poodle starts to eat the treats out of your hand. You cannot hide the shocked expression on your face. “See, he’ll start warming up to you.” Your eyes snap back up at Changmin who was smiling at his dog getting along with his best friend.

Since you first arrived at the Ji household, Gana has always remained hostile against you. And just after following your best friend’s instructions, the poodle was slowly getting used to you. You knew that Gana’s assertive nature only came from a place of wanting to protect his owner—who would not want to protect a boy like him?

This continued for a few more rounds until Changmin felt like that was enough treats for Gana to trust you. “Okay, let him sniff your hand once more.” As you follow his orders, his dog sniffs your skin. “Now, you can pet him.”

“Are you sure?” You ask as your eyes snap back up to him.

When you are only met with a nod, your eyes fall back on Gana who continues to sniff you. Once your hand raises from its position, you notice how his eyes follow it. The moment you find your hand stroking on the fur that rested on his back is almost as magical for everyone—the way Gana finds himself enjoying your touch is something you do not expect.

“Oh my god, he’s back to liking me again,” you whisper which has your best friend giggling.

Nothing needed to be said at that moment—the silence that falls on you three is comfortable. Your eyes always found themselves flickering between your best friend and his dog who only seemed to care about each other’s comfort. You do not miss the way Changmin smiles over how Gana closes his eyes at the sensation.

Seeing him like this—all soft and playful with someone he adores—tugs on your heartstrings. In your years of knowing him, you always knew of his soft spot for his dog. But something about this particular moment made it different. As your eyes zero in on the guy who sits next to you, you start to see every memory play out.

The first time you see him in your high school’s club room is almost an experience you will never forget. With the ways your hands clammed up at the sight of the intimidating boy, you can remember every thought running through your mind—the most memorable one being “resign from the newspaper team.” Can you believe it took you two being forced to work together that started your friendship?

You do not forget about all the times he came to you with a grin plastered on his face while he held the latest broadsheet that held your bylines together. With every article published, he never fails to mention how proud he is of you.

And with every dance competition you watch, you always see Changmin and Sunwoo achieve even higher than what their dreams set them up for. For every medal and trophy won, you never forget to tell the two how happy you are to have them as your best friends.

When Changmin’s graduation came, you will never forget the tears that streamed down yours and Sunwoo’s faces. Even on his special day, his two best friends could not help but be crybabies. You do not forget about the way he wiped the tears away with a smile that only provided you more comfort than words ever could.

On the day you and Sunwoo graduated, you can never forget how you two leaped at the sight of Changmin back in Cheongju. His arms wrapped around you two as if you were the last things on earth he could hold onto. That day only ended on a high note—one that you can hope to chase.

And when you first entered university and got accepted into the publication team, you will never forget how his expression shifted into genuine joy. The words he told you on that day are some you will never forget: “Every day, you are destined for greatness.”

With every lunch, you never forget how you find your heart leaping at the sight of him waiting outside of your classroom. In the same way you wait for him after class, you notice how his expression shifts from exhaustion to happiness. He never forgets to link arms with you every time you make your way to the picnic table you two consider your hideout.

The moment you share about your crush on the unattainable senior in your staff only had him laughing. And yet, he still indulged in your love-drunk rambles (even if nothing happened between you two). He never rained on your love train for all he seemed to care about is that you tell him everything.

When you bring Chanhee into your friend group, you do not forget how he connected with your two childhood best friends in an instant. The addition of Chanhee into your group of three made sense—you would not be the people you are today if someone were to be removed.

And at every party, Changmin always took care of you in your intoxicated state. Every time you needed to puke your guts out or desperately needed to drink water, he was always there to keep you company—to hold back your hair or bring you enough water that would help in sobering you up.

With every sentimental talk you two share, you never fail to see his attentive eyes on you—the way he holds onto your hand whenever you find yourself being vulnerable with him has become an ingrained action of his. And with every time you like to downplay every issue you face, he is always there to remind you of what you seemingly deserve.

Everywhere he goes, he brings warmth—one that you never feel from anyone else. Just from his existence, you always find yourself thanking the universe for bringing him to you. Because even if he loved to make fun of you in every way possible, you knew that it all came from a place of care—a place of love.

And just like that, you feel the crushing weight on your heart lifted. The moment of clarity finally pushed you to open your arms to what you had been tiptoeing around.

Oh.

Oh.

It is not as scary as you made it out to be. “I think I like you.” You do not realize the words you whisper under your breath without any second thought. It is soft just like how water slowly trickles down a faucet. But even the droplet sounds are ones you never want to hear on a quiet night.

You clear your throat loudly in hopes that it would cover up what you slipped out. “God, are you okay?” Your best friend asks as soon as your hand retreats from petting Gana.

With you shaking your head, you say, “Yeah! I think it’s just the cold weather getting to me.” You push yourself off the floor so that you can stand up. “I think I’ll just stay in my room and pack up for tomorrow.” Although his eyebrows furrow at your odd behavior, you do not allow him to say anything as you quickly make your way out of the living room.

On your way back to the room, you could only mentally scold yourself for coming to such a revelation—for even whispering such words without any second thought. You can only hope that your words were not heard by him. And while you found yourself panicking over the moment that occurred only minutes ago, your best friend was having an internal debate on whether he heard you say the words he has been dreaming of.

if you liked this, please take some time to like and reblog this and part one!

[dreamlandxrunaway]

yall.... I think you're actually getting an update for 1cdat... no fucking way! after a year... and... some... more :')

I'm actually gonna post it in a day or two... or maybe even in less than 24h... depends on whether I feel like making a teaser or not hahahaha (ig I could aways just make the moodboard for it anyways hahaha, I'll see what happens)

Well... those are some good news about that damned smau... but.. that also means that now I have to start the second part of what was supposed to be a one parter that I separated in two once I realized that... maybe... just maybe... it's not a good idea to post a 14k+ chapter like that with the spead i write at 😭😭😭 I can't possible make ppl wait for two years... one was enough LOL

[leenaur143]

🥹😭 I just saw an edit of the clip, you know which one I'm talking about, where army sing back don't leave me to the boys and I just let it play on loop whilst I cried for 15 minutes 😭😭😭😭

[julianalvarez9]

not even finished writing fic number 2 and i'm already in fic number 3 you won't catch me not finishing this (like my november word challenge for my f1 blog lmao)

[kitten4sannie]

HANDS DOWN THIS IS ONE OF THE BEST FICS I’VE EVER READ OH MY GODDDD EVIL KING YUYU I NEED YOUUUUUU

Darkness prevails

᯽ Author: bvidzsoo

᯽ Pairing: Jeong Yunho x female reader

᯽ Warning: suggestive, cursing, violence (lots of it), maiming/marking, extreme possessiveness, manhandling, blood, beheading, death, dubious consent, morally grey subjects (you'll see what I mean, but I promise nothing like that actually happens), let me know if I forgot something cries

᯽ Word count: 25.6k

᯽ Genre: Fantasy, Royal, Dark Romance, Gore

᯽ Summary: King Jeong Yunho, first of his name, was a ruler everybody feared and nobody dared mess with. Anyone who didn't oblige to his laws, suffered the consequences. Perhaps stealing an apple seemed like a misstep that many would've overlooked, but not Jeong Yunho. Go against the laws: get punished, branded, humiliated, forever outcasted by society, and the King himself. Unfortunately, you were way too familiar with the King's tyranny, having been the subject of his torture more than once. But what happens, when once and for all, Prince San, his brother, finally decides to get rid of the cruel monarch? Will you succeed with your mission? Will you kill King Jeong Yunho? Or will he wrap you up even deeper in his sick web of lies and threats.

᯽ A/N: My wrists are about to fall off and my eyes are dry despite the eye drops I'm using, but here it is my lovelies, the first part of the Beyond the Obscure series! Guys...it's dark, I'm sorry, so yeah, take the warnings seriously, I promise I haven't written them very in detail (imo) but they are there. I think this is my darkest work so far (even worse than San's part in my pirate series) and y'all have no idea what I have planned for Seonghwa and Yeosang's part (clawing at the wall because that one will be even worse NAUR). I'd like to point out a few things before you start reading:

∞ Yunho is continuously mentioned as the King in the story or Your Grace

∞ perhaps keeping in mind the interaction between Mingi and the redhead will come in handy for future purposes *wink wonk*

∞ I hope I did a good job with this story, and I'm sorry if it sucks, I really tried to tackle this beast of a piece...and sorry for any mistakes, I always proofread but some just slip past me *sighs*

Enjoy the story and let me know what you thought of it, I'm always so grateful to all the feedback I get!! Taglist is open, so just comment on the post if you're interested in the future parts (check out the series' masterlist too to understand how the series works, thank you!) (divider)

᯽ Taglist: @seonghwaddict @thunderous-wolf @simpforyunsangho @kitten4sannie

─═☆Series M.list☆═─

            At such an ungodly hour no lady was supposed to be roaming the streets alone, unguarded, exposed to the horrors of the slums. But some ladies had no other choice but to do so if they wanted to survive, to see tomorrow’s sunrise. Not that there was anything to anticipate or love in the Kingdom of the Fallen, ruled by a ruthless and malicious King, who slayed his people left and right whenever he pleased to do so. And perhaps that’s what ebbed me on to keep on walking, made me straighten my back to the point my muscles were straining as I made sure to become one with the shadows as I passed by the long fallen asleep households, headed towards the outskirts of our well-guarded burgh of Aurora. Don’t let it fool you, despite its name, there was nothing beautiful nor welcoming to this place, only terror, fear, and darkness. Our King made sure of that.

I tried to ignore the trembling of my fingers, but it became harder and harder to do so the closer I got to the well-concealed mansion. Large trees loomed over the gravel pathway that led to its enormous marble stairs, not one light was on inside. One would think the mansion was abandoned, but as soon as you stepped foot inside, its well-maintained state gave away the truth. Perspiration had started gathering on my brows, and I realized that underneath my pricey leather glove the skin of my right hand had started itching, begging to be scratched, but I knew doing so would cause my freshly healed wound to open up again. That wound was something I would have to live with forever, maimed, tainted for life. Marked for a wrong doing that cost the life of my little brother. It was hard not to blame or hate yourself when your sickly brother died in his sleep after you failed showing up for three days, begging and screaming to be let out of the dungeons of the wretched Castle, but my pleas fell to deaf ears, unsurprisingly.

King Jeong Yunho didn’t care about his people, and he never would. Famish and crime were at its peak despite the harsh punishments and executions. Despite the King having ears and eyes everywhere, some people managed to get away, escape unscathed, and one of those people just so happened to be Choi San, the crown prince. He fled the night his brother killed King Choi, aware that he would be next to suffer the same faith as their beloved father if he stood in his older brother’s way. Nobody really knew where Prince San went, but upon seeing his most trusted servant and Royal Guard, Sir Jung Wooyoung, around town, it became obvious that Prince San and Sir Jung were still lurking around. And despite what it seemed like, despite King Jeong being awful and vicious, Prince Choi wasn’t like him. He loved his people, he mourned with his people, he laughed with his people, and he lived for his people. Many hated him for disappearing, thinking he had abandoned us and was letting his older brother do however he wished, but many failed to understand that Prince San was powerless if it came down to a war between the brothers. Prince San didn’t have enough men to fight back against King Jeong’s tyranny. And that’s when I was summoned. Barely a day ago, a black envelope with a crown stamp on it had been slipped in my pouch without me noticing. Having opened it, I was rather surprised to find myself being summoned to the abandoned mansion, which belonged to the Royal family, on the outskirts of the burgh.

And when a royalty summoned you, you showed up without asking questions or making them wait too long. The roads were drenched in darkness, mist surrounding the narrow cobblestone streets, and smog escaped my mouth as little puffs left through my lips, heart beating even faster now that I stood in front of the dark mansion. I never fully showed my face in public, but being well past midnight without another soul out on the streets of Aurora, I offered myself the luxury of breathing in the chilly air of the night.  The moon was in waxing crescent, and averting my eyes from it, I stared up at the massive mansion and steeled my nerves, pushing away all the swirling thoughts threatening to turn me back around just to run off in the night, far away from Aurora. But even if I ran, I had nowhere to go. And even if I ran, the King’s men would find me and bring me back. I never had a choice, nor the freedom to indulge in my dreams and wishes. So, I took a deep breath, fixed the sheer scarf around the lower half of my face, and ascended the marble stairs with chills running down my spine due to the biting cold. It felt like it had seeped through my clothes, nagging at my skin, injected straight into my bones. But if I dwelled more on this feeling, I knew it was mostly the fear spreading through my blood system that made me react so strongly. And there was no place for fear tonight.

When I reached my hand out to push the front door of the mansion open, I found it already slightly ajar, beckoning me inside. My heartbeat was loud in my ears as I cautiously ventured inside, closing the heavy door behind myself, needing a second to take in the majesty of the interior of the mansion. The floor and walls alike were covered in white marble, glinting under the moonlight as the large windows had no curtains in the large entrance hall. A sturdy round table sat in the middle of the chamber, a large vase filled to the brim with flowers of all kinds sat on top of the table, in the center of it. There was a sweet scent wafting through the air, and as I ventured further inside, the cold chill present in the entrance hall slowly turned into blush inducing warmth, making me shiver as I finally started feeling my frozen limbs.

I was wandering around mindlessly, having no idea where I was supposed to go as nobody seemed to be waiting for me, my eyes straying to the walls, admiring all the expensive paintings. They were brought from lands far from ours, from a land where life was easier and happier. The Kingdom of Light, much like its name, was ruled by a Queen that loved her nation and thrived to unite the two Kingdoms. However, as long as King Jeong was our monarch, that would never happen. Faint whispers caught my attention as I came towards the end of the hall, a large door separating me from the next room. A huge painting was hung up on the wall to the left of the black door, and my jaw clenched as my eyes fixated on the family portrait, more specifically, on King Jeong Yunho. Despite him looking a lot younger in the photo, the evil glint was still present in his sharp stare, and suddenly the skin of my right hand itched again, prompting me to mindlessly try and scrape at it through the leather glove. But the whispers coming to a sudden halt from inside the room, and the faint yellow glow coming to life through the little gap under the door ripped my attention away from the young King and made me tense up as footsteps neared the door. And then, there was a click and the door was pulled open, an emotionless man, with asymmetrical eyes, stood in front of me, taking me in just as closely as I took him in.

“Sir Jung Wooyoung.” I bowed my head, keeping my eyes on the marble floor until the man made a sound of approval.

“You have arrived,” He said, voice sharp and impassive, “Come inside.”

The door was further pulled open and as Jung Wooyoung stepped aside, I stepped forward, hands clenching into fists as I tried to fight the desperate need to turn around and just run. Far away from here, from the crown prince and his loyal guard, far from Aurora. But the King would always find me, and he’d bring me back, matter not if dead or alive, he’d bring me back.

As the door slammed heavily shut behind me, I fought the need to jump at the loud sound, and instead made eye contact with the crown prince. He sat in a large chair, straight across from me, at a round table. The table was massive and could fit at least twenty men if gathered around it, but now, it was just Prince Choi, Sir Jung, and myself in the room. The blackout curtains were drawn together, its color a blood red, shutting out the gentle moonlight, masking whatever would go down in this room from the celestial. Nobody had to know what would conspire in this room soon.

“Your Highness,” I bowed forward, keeping my eyes on the carpeted floor as a low hum traveled through the otherwise quiet room, “you have called for me.”

“I have, yes.” Prince San’s voice was low, and quiet, his sharp eyes narrowed as I straightened back up. We made eye contact as there was movement behind me, Sir Jung walked past me and came to a stop behind Prince San, placing a hand on the chair’s back, grip tightening instantly, “Do you have any idea why?”

“I do not have the power to assume anything.” I answered, eyes quickly seizing the room I was in. It wasn’t awfully big, like the rest of the mansion, and it was a lot less warm in here. Bookshelves aligned the tall walls behind the prince and his guard, and a comfortable sofa was pushed up against the left wall, drenched in shadows as the candlelight didn’t reach there.

“You may speak freely with me, Miss Hong, I am not my brother.” Prince San said, teeth gritting at the mention of King Jeong, “And I do not wish to be ever like that, which is why I have called you here.”

“Don’t you deem it dangerous, Your Highness, calling me here?” I quirked an eyebrow and walked further inside, approaching the table, “King Jeong knows you are still residing in Aurora, and now you’ve given your location away to a mere civilian.”

“Are you threating the crown prince right now?” Jung Wooyoung’s voice was rough and words biting as he leashed out, vein close to popping on his forehead, eyes ablaze. He looked menacing, especially with the long sword sheathed at his hip, handle hidden by the red wool jacket decorated with golden accents falling over it.

“Wooyoung,” It was strange how soft the prince’s voice became, eyes finding the guard’s, “she’s not the enemy. You don’t have to be so on edge.”

“How do you know?” Sir Jung hissed back, eyes still on me, glaring me down. I gulped, but didn’t look away. I didn’t want them to think I was scared, even if I was.

“Miss Hong,” The prince’s attention was back on me, expression losing its coldness for a second, “May I ask you show us your hand?”

My jaw clenched as I remained silent, heart thumping fast. I wanted to tell him no, that he had no right asking such thing of me, but I couldn’t deny the crown prince’s request. And despite detesting what I had to do, with shaky fingers, I still ripped the leather glove off my hand, breathing hard as I threw the piece of fabric on the table, letting my arms fall limply next to my body. Nobody said anything nor moved for a few seconds, Sir Jung’s gaze hurriedly falling onto my exposed right hand. The room was poorly lit, yet it wasn’t hard to miss the discoloration on the top of my right hand, the skin raw and burgundy despite the long-healed wound. It was just a scar now, yet it remained fresh looking, forever a reminder of who I belonged to.

“You don’t have to trust me,” I found my voice, and perhaps I shouldn’t have been surprised to hear myself sounding so cold and harsh, “but you can trust one thing. I, in no universe, serve King Jeong Yunho. And I never will. If the scar isn’t proof enough, send me out to kill him, and I will do it with a smile on my face.”

I didn’t expect any reaction from the two males across from me, and so it surprised me when the two held matching smirks, sharing a quick look before Jung Wooyoung slowly approached me again. My eyes stayed on him, and I flinched as he gingerly grasped my right hand, raising it up. I couldn’t bear looking at the skin, so I looked at Prince San instead.

“I’m sorry for what my brother has done to you.” And his words were sincere, there was pain in Prince San’s eyes, and I knew he was sincere. I don’t know why, but despite Jung Wooyoung’s calloused hands, the way he traced my scar with the tip of his finger gingerly, made me relax a little. If they wanted me dead, they would have killed me the second I approached the front door of the mansion.

“You shouldn’t apologize for something that’s out of your control, Your Highness.” I muttered, looking at Wooyoung alarmed when he pressed his lips against my scar, the warm and plush skin lingering against mine for a second. Nobody has every touched my scar, let alone kissed it. When Sir Jung looked at me, he held the same guilt and pain in his eyes as Prince San. It was overwhelming, and so I ripped my hand out of Sir Jung’s gentle hold, and scurried to wear my glove again. I didn’t need their pity, what’s done is done.

“How many times has that devil seen you?” It was Sir Jung asking this time as he slowly stalked back towards Prince San, stopping next to his chair this time. I didn’t fail to notice the way the crown prince grabbed onto the back of his royal guard’s thigh, thick fingers digging into Sir Jung’s skin. They seemed used to the contact, both unphased, so I averted my gaze from it.

“Twice.” I answered, lowering the sheer black scarf from the lower half of my face, “I always wear my scarf in public.”

“And do you think he’d recognize you if he were to see you again?” Prince San asked, his hand slowly sneaking up towards Sir Jung’s ass. My eyebrows furrowed before I shook my head.

“No, he never got a good look at my face the second time, and I was branded three years ago.” I answered truthfully, “There’s not a world in which the King remembers the faces of those he torments.”

“You’re underestimating my brother,” Prince San’s lips pulled into a sneer, “he’s a sadistic man, Miss Hong, you’d be horrified to find out just how much he remembers and gets off to.”

I gulped, but remained silent as Sir Jung bit his lower lip when Prince San’s hand traveled even further up. There was movement to my left, but when I looked over to the sofa, I couldn’t see anything, so I focused on the males again.

“Are you willing to kill him?” Jung Wooyoung seemed to have gotten tired of going around and not getting to the point as he spat, eyes watching me closely. I didn’t hesitate with my answer.

“Yes.” I hissed, eyes turning steely as Sir Jung just smirked, leaning forward as he placed his hands on the sturdy table.

“Then I, Jung Wooyoung, Royal Guard of the Crown Prince Choi San, third of his name, task you with killing King Jeong Yunho, and ridding this Kingdom of his cruelty and horrors.” Sir Jung’s voice was laced with passion, eyes burning with an insatiable fire as Prince San rose from his seat, his strong physique making Jung Wooyoung look small for the first time.

“I promise you immunity and a respectable life once you’re done with your task. You won’t be suffering any consequences, and I will fulfill your biggest wish.” I chuckled, but it lacked humor as my eyes bore into the prince’s.

“I doubt you can bring back the dead, Your Highness.” Tense silence fell upon us, both looking like they understood what it meant losing someone dear. And if Prince San was being honest, then this would be my way out of Aurora, out of the Kingdom of the Fallen, “I shall proceed with the task, Your Highness, Sir Jung. Give me at least a month.”

“You can take even a year as long as you do your task.” Prince San said with a chuckle, looking like a stone had been lifted off his chest.

“Don’t fail us, Miss Hong.” Sir Jung didn’t let his guard down as easily as the prince, however, and the subtle look he sent my way was threatening. I understood. Failing meant death. But I wouldn’t let that happen.

“I won’t.” My voice was strong and I bowed, out of respect and a way of letting them know that I would be leaving now, I wouldn’t want to overstay my welcome.

“Take care, and send us a letter if you need anything,” Prince San smiled, just barely, “I will be keeping an eye on you still, just to make sure you’re safe and everything is working out.”

“Thank you, Your Highness.” I bowed my head again, and was slightly startled when a girl, who was smaller than myself and frail looking, emerged from the sofa. How did she manage to conceal herself so well? She looked shy as she avoided looking at me, eyes fixated on Sir Jung as she hurried towards him, “I’ll be on my way.”

“Safe travels.” The prince’s voice carried over the faint whispers of Sir Jung as I turned and stalked towards the door, intrigued by the gasp I heard. I gripped the heavy door and as I went to push it open, I dared a glance backwards, finding the girl seated where Prince San had been previously sat, her eyes round as she stared up at a smirking Jung Wooyoung. And Choi San sported the same expression as he walked behind her, hands slowly slipping over her shoulders, towards her chest. I didn’t want to witness something that wasn’t for my eyes, so I hurriedly fled the room and then the mansion altogether, mind a mess as I tried to work out the best plan to approach the King, and kill him. The waxing crescent moon witness to my new turmoil.

            The streets of the burgh of Aurora in the daytime were a big contrast compared to its nighttime shenanigans. It was lively and filled with people going on and about their day, trying to catch the last paper at the printing house, buying resources or selling their best products at the market. Despite the wind being harsh today, it didn’t deter people from coming out to bargain, with the occasional fight breaking out in the square, rowdy men desperate to showcase who was most domineering. I remained inconspicuous as I stood behind the stand of a herbal stall, the vendor a very lovely old lady that would let me work for her while my brother was still alive. I rarely came to the market anymore, having found different ways for survival. Perhaps I was dumb for testing my luck day after day, but three years ago, I lost the reason I had been living for. And on that same day I was branded, forever belonging to King Jeong Yunho. I wasn’t afraid of death anymore; it was only a matter of time until it would catch up to me. Stealing and getting caught only resulted in a severed hand, I would still have my other one if King Jeong felt generous that day. But in order to observe the King and follow through with the task Prince San had tasked me with, I needed to be in the most populated areas, areas which the King often frequented. And the market and square were those places. The King would parade around every day with his Royal Guards, surveying the place and taking anything he liked without as much as a ‘thank you’. Everything belonged to him, he could take whatever he pleased without any consequence. It was something we had grown familiar with quite soon after he proclaimed himself the new King of the Kingdom of the Fallen. It was no secret that Jeong Yunho killed his own father to become King much faster, to assert a regime that his father, the late King Choi, would have absolutely hated and refuted. But as long as Prince Choi San was alive, there would always be a glimmer of hope for better times. Times that would perhaps come sooner than expected if I was successful with my mission.

I had been arranging the spearmint when an old lady stopped in front of the stand, leaning on a cane, face wrinkly, her sniffing loud as she stared at all the herbs displayed on the wooden table. It was cold today, yet the old lady lacked a coat that would protect her from the harsh wind. My eyebrows furrowed, and after checking that my black shawl was in place and covering the lower half of my face, I stepped forward.

“Good morning,” I greeted the lady with an easy smile, “How may I help you?”

Her eyes slowly travelled up to my face, and I was greeted with an unfortunate sight. Her eyes were clouded with cataracts, yet they fell perfectly on my own eyes, “Dear one, please help me out a little.”

Her voice was raspy and airy, so I nodded and went around the stand to approach her, the cacophony of the market too loud for her to properly hear me.

“What would you like to buy?” I asked once I have stopped next to the lady, her grey eyes focused on the herbs.

“I’m too old for my own good,” The old lady muttered with a sad chuckle, “my joints aren’t in their best shape. Do you have something to soothe the ache? Something strong and efficient.”

I hummed and glanced at the wooden table, knowing very well what would help ease the old lady’s pain a little, “Nettle will be great for your painful joints, ma’am. Would you like some?”

“Yes, please.” She nodded, eyes falling on me again, “Could you give me five leaves? That wouldn’t be more than two shillings, right?”

“No, it wouldn’t.” I reassured her with a smile as I walked back behind the stand and crouched down to grab a smaller brown parchment roll. I stood and grabbed five leaves as the loudness of the market seemed to get even louder at once, until it slowly started turning into a low murmur, becoming a mere hum. I paid it no mind as I carefully packed the nettle leaves the old lady asked for, slipping in three more without anyone noticing, before I wrapped the parchment up, making sure the leaves wouldn’t slip out, “It’ll be one shilling, ma’am.”

Despite speaking softly, my voice sounded almost too loud in the sinister silence falling upon the market, and it took me a little to realize what was happening. The old lady seemed unfocused as she had turned around, stepping back to the point she was almost pressed up fully against the wooden table of the stand. Nobody moved, nobody blinked, nobody spoke, nobody breathed. My hands clenched into fists and my leather gloves crunched at the motion, almost too loud in the deafening silence. The hooves of the horses were loud against the cobblestones and the crowd parted in the middle, scurrying to make way for the King and his Royal Guards. Despite not wanting to see them, I couldn’t help but turn my head and watch like the rest of the market, as the tall black horse rode at the front, a Friesian, carrying the King proudly on his back. Nobody would’ve been able to guess the horrors caused by the soft featured King, whose cheeks were full and tinged red due to the cold air, lips full and a dark red, eyes rather round than sharp. And yet, the emotionless expression on his face and the constant leer present on his features would make anyone reconsider their perception of the King, cowering in fear as his dark eyes would settle on you, lips pulling up in pleased smugness at the blatant fear displayed by his people. Everybody hated him, yet nobody was brave enough to finally stand up to him.

Four guards followed after him, a man with silver blonde hair and a towering height that matched the King’s following close behind with his own horse on the King’s right side, with his left side being claimed by a long-haired redhead, with eyes so haunting that they always stared right into your soul. Those two were the King’s Royal Guards, always by his side, his right hands. The King went nowhere without the two, and the silver blonde haired man was like a hound, always breathing down the King’s neck, possessive and murderous at the slightest hint of threat. One would think his obsessive behavior was concerning, but he took his job too seriously, having vowed his life to the King a long time ago. The woman wasn’t much better, but she at least was sly and coy about it, always surveying everyone and everything, sensing danger before it would happen.

The King and his guards passed by the herbal stall, and the poor old lady jumped and covered her eyes as she hung her head low, making sure she didn’t look at the King for too long. Nobody dared look at him for more than a few seconds, afraid that he’d misunderstand their curious stare and sentence them to a painful death. It wouldn’t have been the first time. But I wasn’t scared of death nor the King, and I allowed my eyes to follow his form as he came to a halt just a few stands down, where a loose-mouthed man sold jewelry. They were one of the finest you could find at the market, pricey too if you weren’t on good terms with him. I watched as the silver blonde haired guard got off his horse the second the King’s stopped, and hurried to stand next to the tall Friesian as King Jeong released the reigns, turning his head left and right slowly. The redhead followed close behind, stopping mere millimeters behind the tall guard, the two sharing a sharp glance as the male extended his hand to help the King down. The other two older guards remained on their horses, eyes surveying the market as their faces remained emotionless. I glared at the back of the King’s head sharply, his blood red gown decorated with golden accents too bright and contrasting against his otherwise black attire. His black riding breeches were tucked inside his tall riding boots, covering and protecting the King’s calves, reaching almost up to his knees, the fabric of the pants no doubt worth more than everything I’ve ever owned altogether. A thick looking black shirt clung to his broad body tightly, top buttons threatening to pop as the King rolled his shoulders a few times backwards, patting the silver blonde haired man on the back a little forcefully. The guard adorned a coat that reached mid-thigh, colors similar to the King’s, however his was rather black than red and it was adorned with red and golden accents showing his rank, and that he belonged to the Jeong Royal Court. The redhead’s coat reached down to her ankles and had intricate designs of red and golden down the back of the fabric, hair tucked under the coat.

The King moved, and I found my eyes fixating on him again, sneering to myself as he walked towards the vendor with the gemstones and jewelry. My body reacted instantly at the sight of his right hand, memory burned into my skin, quite literally, for the rest of my counted days. The King’s left hand was protected from the cold with a glove that looked like it was a soft material, however, his right hand was bare of such protection. Instead, his right hand was adorned by rings, claws, that I still could feel in my worst nightmares pressing into my skin. They were made of steel, and they were sharp, the jewelry on his fore- and middle finger sharp to the point they could cut your flesh. The ornaments clung to his long fingers like they were his second skin, part of him. The ring on his middle finger adorned a huge ruby, an addition to the piece made by King Jeong himself. His ring finger was decorated by a ring that curved to the side, caging his pinky finger in as well, which was decorated by a piece that could be compared to a miniature spear. The King’s right hand was a weapon in its own, easily able to stab and kill you just with his bare fingers. The ornaments were a family heirloom, one that only the King was allowed to wear, yet they haven’t been this sharp until they fell into the claws of Jeong Yunho. Their intricate design made them beautiful, but they carried too much terror with them for one to appreciate their beauty.

My eyes snapped up from his hand upon hearing his voice, a sound I still had nightmares about, “Chwe, did the gems arrive?”

“Your Grace,” The vendor called Chwe Hansol quickly bowed his head deeply, “yes, the gems have arrived this morning.”

“Perfect.” The King’s lips pulled to the side, the smirk making his whole demeanor more predatory. Despite only being able to see the side of his face, I knew he had a hungry glint in his eyes as the vendor grabbed a small wooden chest and opened it for the King. The redhead had started walking around while still remaining close to the King, inspecting the items the neighboring vendors of Mr. Chwe had. Everyone was tense as the King wordlessly grabbed the gemstones and inspected them from close, face becoming devoid of emotion again, eyebrows pulling into a frown slowly. I was sneering before he spoke up, well-aware that nothing would please the King, no matter how high quality it was.

“You call this a gem?” The King scoffed, irritation lacing his voice as he threw the gemstones back inside the little wooden chest harshly. Nobody would’ve handled the pricey gems like that, but when you had all the power and money in the world, one wouldn’t care, Jeong Yunho certainly didn’t. I couldn’t help the dark expression that crossed my face, eyes boring into the side of the King’s face, wondering suddenly that if I were to throw my dagger straight into his neck, how many more seconds I’d have left on this Earth before his loyal dogs would murder me in cold blood. Scarily, almost as if the silver blonde haired man was a mind reader, his head whipped around and his sharp eyes found mine, small eyes narrowing and making them appear even smaller. His impassive expression would’ve been nerve wrecking to one that appreciated their life, but I didn’t care for my safety. I had nothing left for me in this world anymore. The redhead was still roaming around, commenting at times about the quality of products, and she took a scarf without dropping any shillings to the poor vendor, her face twisting for a second before she fixed it and thanked the redhead for appreciating her merch.

“Your Grace,” Mr. Chwe found his voice, yet it sounded terrified, “These are from the Kingdom of Light, finest of its kind and most sought after—”

“Are you saying that I am stupid and can’t recognize real gemstones?” The King spat, leaning over the stand, his glaring eyes boring into the vendor’s. The man started to shake, and I grit my teeth to stop myself from interfering. If I got killed right now, I would fail the crown prince, and I couldn’t do that.

“No—no, Your Grace!” The vendor exclaimed, shaking his head furiously, “Your Grace knows better than I will ever know! I was merely say—saying what has been relayed to myself as well, Your Grace. I am ashamed of ever suggesting such thing, and I will never show my face around—”

“Now, now,” The King snickered, lips pulled into an amused, yet irritated, smirk, “don’t be a yapping little boy, are you going to cry?”

My jaw clenched and I found myself gripping onto my skirt tightly, breaths coming out shallow as the silver blonde haired man was still staring into my soul, watching my every move. His lips were pulled into a sneer, and I didn’t fail to notice his hand tightening around the handle of his sword.

“N—no, Your Grace.” Mr. Chwe lowered his eyes and shook his head, lips pulled into a thin line as his whole being shook, “Unless it’s what Your Grace wants me to do—”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” The King threw his head back and laughed, yet it lacked amusement and was laced with sheer craze, the sound sending shivers down my spine, “You’d cry for your King?”

Mr. Chwe’s head was shaking as he nodded, still staring at the ground. The King suddenly hissed and I almost took off towards the two as his right hand sprung forward, gripping the vendor’s jaw so hard his claws practically tore into his skin. The man’s face contorted in pain, yet he made no sound except the quiet gasp he accidentally let out, “Then cry for me, you pathetic fool.”

The King leered in the vendor’s face, tone laced with venom, eyes wide as Mr. Chwe watched the King stunned. I bit my lower lip as my eyes switched between the King and his royal guard, whose stare would have long killed me if that were possible. I knew what my eyes conveyed, they were laced with pure hatred and disdain, boring into the King’s profile as my hands shook in anger, threatening to bubble over any time. I was playing a dangerous game; I knew the shawl did little to nothing to conceal my raw emotions pulsating through my eyes.

“Bastards like yourself shouldn’t handle gemstones.” The King hissed just as the silver blonde haired man took off, jaw clenched and eyes set on me, ablaze. I have run out of luck, so it seems. But before he could even come close to the stall I was at, the King’s venomous tone turned to a light and almost airy tone.

“Song Mingi.” It wasn’t a question, nor a chastising, yet the guard froze instantly. His eyes never left my face as the King lazily tuned his head, dark eyes falling on his tall guard. The redhead was by the King’s side instantly, probably thinking that her fellow guardian sensed danger, ready to protect her King. The market seemed frozen in time as nobody spoke or moved, wide eyes now switching between the royal guard, Song Mingi, and myself. For a second, my heart skipped a beat thinking that I have been discovered, recognized, my right hand burning under the leather glove. But as the King’s eyes slowly trailed from his guard onto me, there was no sign of recognition on his face. I gulped, not due to nervousness, but because my throat suddenly felt dry, lungs tightening as the King’s dark eyes burned my skin, tearing me apart. The memory was too vivid in my mind despite it happening three years ago, and I realized that even if I tried my best, I wouldn’t be able to mask my hatred towards Jeong Yunho. But perhaps he was so used to that reaction that he didn’t care anymore as a sinister smile suddenly tugged at his red lips, hastily releasing Mr. Chwe, who fell back with a loud gasp. The King slowly stalked towards his loyal guard, yet his eyes never once left my face, amused smirk tugging at his lips. He was amused at the blatant hatred in my eyes, and I had to steel myself to stop the shaking of my hands at the sudden flare of anger I felt coursing through my veins.

“Stand down.” The King hissed in the guard’s ear as he walked past him, sharp claws grazing against the other tall man’s neck, but he didn’t flinch nor react at the contact. My eyes remained on the King as he neared the stand I stood at, the poor old lady gasping and stepping away with a low bow, probably bad for her already hurting and crooked back. I dared say nothing as Jeong Yunho stopped right across me, the table suddenly not enough to put the much-needed space between us. It felt like he had invaded my personal space, dark eyes boring into mine, narrowing into a blazing glare when I didn’t back down. Everyone cowered before the King, and just last minute, to try to make myself seem less suspicious, I finally lowered my eyes at the various herbs on the table, but I refused to bow. The King chuckled, but it sounded more vexed than amused. I didn’t care.

“Mingi,” He called out, voice low and dark, “grab those gemstones for me, will you?”

I didn’t glance up as I heard Mr. Chwe whimper and mutter apologies, a sharp cry leaving his lips. I could only hope the wound the King’s royal guard left wouldn’t be fatal. The King’s gloved hand suddenly entered my vision as he started touching the herbs displayed on the table, humming lowly in the back of the throat. I followed his hand with my eyes, jaw clenching when he scoffed, probably not satisfied by the scarce display of herbs. Of course, it couldn’t be compared to what he was aided with at the Castle, yet that was a thought Jeong Yunho wouldn’t be able to wrap his mind around.

“You’re running low on spearmint, little dove.” His velvety voice was mocking, and I felt his sharp gaze on my face as I gulped down the retort I had in mind, and slowly looked up.

“I will stock up on them today, Your Grace.” I couldn’t help but allow my tone to turn venomous when saying his title, “Had I known you were visiting our humble market, I would’ve brought out a wider range of herbs.”

The King chuckled, incredulity crossing his features at the blatant mockery and sarcasm dripping with every word I said, “Can you afford a wider range of herbs?”

“Yes, if those who are taking pay me for my services.” It was dangerous saying such things to the King and so openly, and I couldn’t help but glance at his royal guard as his jaw was clenched, the redhead next to him also throwing daggers my way. But surprisingly, the King just laughed, however, it didn’t sound genuine at all.

“Tell me, little dove, if I really hate a person, would this herb help with getting rid of them?” He cocked an eyebrow as he traced his gloved fingers delicately against a green leaf, slightly bigger than most. It was tucked almost underneath another plant, and I had missed that we had it displayed. It shouldn’t even be there; the plant was dangerous and poisonous even at the softest touch.

“Using a Dieffenbachia would lead to a painful and slow death, Your Grace.” I answered as the King grabbed the leaves with his gloved hand, a crazed grin decorating his lips.

“Nothing more entertaining than a slow and painful death, little dove.” The King whispered, dark eyes boring into mine as a harsh gust of wind blew through the market, pushing the shawl off my head, exposing my dark curls. Thankfully it was tied around my nape and it didn’t fall off my face as well, yet I didn’t miss the way the King’s eyes quickly racked over my newly exposed features.

“If you want them to choke to death, you can let them drink the tea ground from its leaves.” I found myself saying, my tone challenging, wondering where this conversation was leading to. The King bit his lower as he looked down at the leaves, chuckling to himself before placing them back down and holding only one still as he raised his hand up, directing it towards my face. I didn’t flinch away, I didn’t even blink as my eyes bore into Jeong Yunho’s, an intrigued glint in his.

“Would you eat it if your King asked you to?” His tone dropped to a low baritone as he tilted his head to the left, features becoming cold. My jaw clenched, and I fought my instincts of turning around and running away as a chuckle left my lips.

“I would like to know how I have wronged you, Your Grace, that you seem to hate me so much you want my dismay.” I raised an eyebrow, the King’s lips slowly pulling into an amused smirk, eyes widening as he tapped the leaf against the tip of my nose, making my palms ball up into fists at my sides. My heartrate had picked up, but I forced myself to remain calm. He could force it down my throat, of course, and then the whole mission would fail because of me.

“Killing people doesn’t always need to have a reason,” Everything in my screamed to break his face in half, but I just bit my lower lip underneath my shawl and tried to regulate my breaths, “I’ll spare you today, little dove. You could be a green witch instead of wasting your life away here, behind a stand, selling herbs to useless people that have no idea how to use them.”

The King placed the Dieffenbachia leaf back to where it initially was and leaned just slightly forward, his eyes searching mine. I huffed, smiling underneath my shawl sarcastically, tilting my head as I raised my eyebrows at him, “So that you’ll have a reason to kill me because I’m a green witch?”

Not that the King needed an actual reason to kill someone.

“No, I wouldn’t kill you if you were my little green witch, little dove.” His voice darkened just as his face did, eyes turning cold and lips turning into a hungry leer as his eyes took in my face, traveling lower, all over my body. I hated the possessiveness he displayed, even more so because I was his, he just didn’t know it. The scar burned on my hand, and it felt so hot that I almost subconsciously yanked my leather glove off my hand. But if I did that, he’d know, and I’d rather die than let the King know.

Just as I opened my mouth to refute such scenario, his royal guard stepped in, looking completely fed up with the exchange between the two of us as his expression was dark, very clearly fuming while the redhead stood a little behind, smirking at the silver blonde man. We made eye contact for a second, and she subtly nodded her head towards me, prompting me to avert my eyes and look at the King again.

“My King, we should get moving.” Song Mingi’s voice was gruff, low, and raspy as his sharp eyes pierced my skull, “We have what we came for.”

“No need to rush, my Mingi,” The King chuckled, grinning at his guard, “I think we should look around today, make sure everything is as it should be. That everyone respects their duties, and King.”

I smirked as the King threw me a glare, for some obscure reason letting me off the hook despite disrespecting him so clearly and constantly.

“Keep your eyes wide open, little dove,” He sneered, jaw clenching, “you might just fall prey to a big, bad, terrifying hunter.”

I bowed my head deeply in plain mockery as the King hissed, turning around and stalking towards his Friesian. To my surprise, and everyone else’s, the redhead walked up to me and tossed a pouch filled with shillings at my chest, smirking in amusement before she was headed for her own horse. Song Mingi seemed displeased and mad, his shoulder knocked against the redhead’s when they crossed paths, and as he mounted his horse, he threw me such a murderous look that it easily rivalled the King’s. And before anyone could even digest the fact that I just got paid by the King despite him not buying anything from me, the King and his royal guards took off, horses neighing and hoofs loud as they galloped away.

            Despite the sun settling high up in the sky blazing down on Aurora, the mist settled upon the market never quite went away, the mood of people rather gloomy to after the King’s visit. It had been only a few hours since he had waltzed in with his royal guards, yet it felt like mere minutes. The King’s presence was everlasting and blood-curdling, you couldn’t escape it even if he wasn’t there anymore. It shouldn’t have been surprising, upon one glance, he could make anyone cower in fear, even the bravest and strongest soldier. I had gone about my day, selling and conversing amicably with other vendors while making sure I paid attention to the smallest shift in the atmosphere, so, I wasn’t too surprised to hear a spine-chilling scream cut off the conversation I was having with Mr. Chwe. After the King had left, I rushed to his side and patched him up, the cut on his cheek the only damage done to him, thankfully, and it wasn’t too deep either. Song Mingi had been lenient this time, it was rare. But I suppose the King needs its gemstone supplier alive if he plans on importing more treasures at a low, and illegal, price. What the King wanted, he got, no matter whether it was just or wrong.

Everyone froze as more shouting came from the square, and as the horns were blown, my muscles tensed and my stomach dropped. An execution would take place. The air was charged with suspense as everyone seemed to be at a standstill for a second before they started rushing towards the square, vendors leaving their stands unattended, civilians pushing each other aside to reach the square faster. I wasn’t in a rush, but when the King’s royal guards started shouting at everyone to move to the square while shoving people forward, I knew I had no choice but to actually attend the execution. Not that I had a choice, everyone had to attend these shenanigans of the King. My heart started racing as a man stood on the raised platform in the middle of the square, held by none other than Song Mingi and another guard, who was gruff and angry looking. I gulped as I made sure my shawl covered my face and hair, adjusting my leather gloves as suddenly they felt like they were slipping off my hands. My scar was itching, I knew it was just my brain making me believe that the wound was fresh again, but I couldn’t force myself to stop when my eyes fell on the King, the malicious smirk on his lips morbid. He stood at the side of the platform, looking like he had never been more entertained in his life before as the man his guards held on to was wriggling around frantically, whatever he was shouting didn’t make sense anymore.

I gulped hard as the King’s eyes surveyed the crowd, but when they moved past me, I felt myself relaxing just slightly. The crowd that had gathered around was murmuring lowly, everyone wondering the reason for this execution as there were some people pushing around others in order to get to the front. I did not understand the morbid need of humans to see such gruesome scenes that were to follow in a few minutes, but I couldn’t fight against the wave as I was shoved to the front. My jaw clenched and my hands turned into fists as a man was mumbling to himself behind me, urging the King on to kill the poor civilian.

“Residents of Aurora!” The King’s deep voice boomed over the masses, crazed eyes setting on the crowd. His cheeks were tainted red still, lips redder than they were in the morning, and his black hair seemed dishevelled, “We have gathered here to teach you a lesson, again.”

The crowd froze as the King leered at everyone, stepping up onto the platform, making the civilian scream that he wasn’t guilty, that he didn’t do anything wrong. The King walked past him, but turned sharply and threw such a hard blow against the man’s jaw that I heard something crack. The crowd gasped loudly and I exhaled sharply, trying to calm the rage that was slowly bubbling up in my bloodstream. I couldn’t act out right now, it would bring my dismay, the mission would be over before I could have even started it.

“This man here,” Jeong Yunho’s gloved hands slipped through the strands of the man’s matted hair, and he yanked the man’s head back harshly as he faced the crowd, the King’s neck and ears red from rage, “tried to take something that doesn’t belong to him.”

“Your Grace, I—”

“Silence!” Song Mingi hissed and threw a blow to the man’s gut. He would’ve toppled over if it weren’t for the two guards holding him up. The redhead had sat on the raised platform, shoulders hunched forward as her eyes watched the crowd closely, uncomfortably settling on me for a second too long. I ignored her haunting gaze, and instead looked at the King.

“Will you try and lie your way out of this, peasant?” The King hissed as his ablaze eyes snapped towards the man, who had started whimpering and shaking his head, “You tried to take my riches, peasant. The King’s possessions, more specifically.”

“I—I wasn’t, I swear—” Jeong Yunho’s face twisted into something dark and sinister as he leaned down and got all up in the poor man’s face.

“Were you really not?” The King’s voice was barely above a whisper, laced with calmness. It was frightening, the whole square went silent as the wind howled between the buildings and abandoned stands. The redhead was swinging her legs back and forth, Song Mingi’s face twisted in disgust as the man he was holding had tears streaming down his face.

“I’m sorry, Your Grace.” He averted his eyes to the ground, lips shaking. It was foolish of him trying to take the King’s ornaments, but I could understand him. He was probably so hungry that he was desperate enough to do something like this. Unfortunately, it would bring his end…or perhaps it was a blessing in disguise, a way out of Aurora forever.

“Shame your apology means nothing to me.” The King whispered, releasing the man as he walked forward to the edge of the platform, the redhead’s back straightened and she stopped swinging her legs. The King briefly glanced at her and she got off hastily, standing to the side as Song Mingi directed the smallest of smirks at her, visibly pissing the redhead off. It was slightly frightening how her height almost matched the King’s and Song Mingi’s, barely a few inches shorter than the two men. She was a powerful warrior and a strong soldier of the Royal Guard.

“There’s order in this world,” The King started, voice eerily steady as a slow grin stretched over his features, “There’s laws in this world, and they have to be respected. They will be respected as long as you all are under my watch, bevans. It’s hilarious how dumb you all are to think that you could touch something that belongs to your King, let alone try and steal it. Such behaviour will not be forgiven, and thus it will be punished accordingly.”

The King paused, licking his lips, right hand settling on the handle of the sword he had sheathed around his hips. My body was tense and my heart was beating loudly, almost so loud that I couldn’t hear the King’s words anymore. Goosebumps covered my skin everywhere, and suddenly the shawl around the lower half of my face made it hard to breathe, it felt like panic was overtaking my whole being. I felt like Jeong Yunho could see through me and I’d be the next one executed today. What if he somehow just knew that his brother sent me to assassinate him? What if the redhead and Song Mingi also knew and were only waiting for the right moment to snatch me away and kill me in the most antagonizing and slow way? My breath stuttered in my throat when the King’s eyes suddenly fell on me, as if he remembered who I was after all those years.

“Usually, severing the hand you had stolen with would do the deed,” The King tsked, dark eyes boring into mine as my right hand was burning up, “But this time it won’t be no good. I have been too lenient with my people lately; I fear you are forgetting the rules.”

The crowd muttered in discomfort as everyone hung their heads low, not wanting to be the next targeted by the King. But I couldn’t look away as Jeong Yunho smirked, narrowing his eyes challengingly at me. I would be next if I didn’t succumb to him, so, I gritted my teeth and lowered my head until the cobblestones were the only thing I could see. The King chuckled as I heard his sword being drawn.

“Good,” He leered, tapping his sword against the wooden platform, “Now, watch.”

Almost at an instant, the crowd whipped their heads up as the King walked towards his two guards, nodding once at Song Mingi as the poor man started frantically begging the King to let him off this time, that he’d serve him for the rest of his life, that he could take both hands if he wanted to. Song Mingi and the other guard holding him down suddenly forced him forward, pushing his head down onto the long table, his chin hitting the table loudly.

“No, please!” The man started shouting, trashing around, but the redhead was up on the platform in an instant, pushing his back flush against the table so that he wouldn’t move around so much, “No—no! I swear! I swear I will do anything! Please, please, be merciful Your Grace, I regret what I had done, I really do! Spear me this one time! Your Grace!”

But the King stood by the edge of the table, next to the man’s head, staring down at him with dead eyes, expression soulless. Because he didn’t have a soul, because Jeong Yunho was the Devil himself, not even trying to disguise it anymore.

“You seem to have forgotten that you are my property, bevan, and I do whatever I want to you.” The King hissed, raising his sword up high, held by both hands. My heart was beating out of my chest, and there was a collective gasp as time seemed to slow down. It wasn’t my first time seeing a beheading, and I knew it wouldn’t be my last either, but the ear-piercing shrill scream the man let out before the King’s sword came harshly down on his neck, slashing his skin, was deafening, and it made my ears ring. The sound of skin splitting open, blood gushing out, the crunching of bones, and then the hard thud of something heavy made me so nauseous that I was afraid I would throw up right then and there. My eyes were glued to the headless body that now lay limply on the table, the three guards releasing it as they stepped back. My eyes were frozen on the stray head that fell onto the platform, slowly rolling forward. It brought blood in its wake, oozing out of it, out of the headless body, his once soulful eyes now wide and unblinking, and mouth open in a silent scream. The man’s eyes were now glossed over and empty, mouth making no noise anymore, yet I could still hear his scream. My body was shaking, my mind was numb, and my right hand felt like it was slowly melting off around the scar. There was someone crying in the crowd, loudly, then there were people who were gagging. Nobody was looking at the head, nobody but me. I couldn’t look away, the rage in my bloodstream forced me to keep looking at it, to lament at the feeling, to gather it deep inside myself and channel it into every particle of my body that wanted to kill the King.

I flinched as the head fell off the platform and continued rolling towards the crowd, towards me. And despite how gruesome it looked, I couldn’t look away, I didn’t want to anymore. My body and brain weren’t working in sync anymore, my thoughts were a bit hazy as my leg raised and stepped on the left cheek of the man’s head, stopping it from rolling forward anymore. A woman next to me toppled over and threw up, everyone else gasping and rushing away from us. Everyone watched, yet nobody wanted to touch it. What was so different about it now? Weren’t we all partaking in the man’s ruthless death either way? A floorboard creaked and my head snapped up, greeted by the tall form of the King as he closed in on me, eyes burning and face covered in droplets of blood. It dripped off his chin rhythmically, soaking his black shirt underneath his gown covered in the Royal colours. The smell of iron flooded my nostrils at once, almost as if the King reeked of it himself, and a sudden dizziness hit my head. But I didn’t look away, I didn’t move. The square was dead silent as the King crouched down without breaking eye contact, he was breathing through his nose hard, jaw clenched. I kept my eyes on his as I looked down at him, left hand fisting my long skirt, brushing against the metal handle of my dagger hidden underneath my thick belt. It would’ve been so easy to kill him, but the risk of failure was too high.

Suddenly, something was yanked out from underneath my foot and it hit the ground harshly, rattling my ankle, making my eyebrows furrow as the King stood to its full height, looming over me. The smell of iron was strong, but something even stronger clashed with it, the smell of vetiver. The King’s lips were parted as he breathed through his mouth, tongue poking out to wet his lips, his chocolate brown eyes blown wide with a darkness I didn’t understand yet. He looked like a man who was crazy, ready to annihilate anything in its path. I was in his path, and he would get rid of me just for the fun of it. I didn’t even realize I had been holding my breath until the King’s eyes finally left my face, he looked over my head at the shocked crowd, holding the dead man’s head up high.

“This,” His harsh voice boomed over the silent square, “is what happens to those disobeying their King!”

I felt eyes on me, I was aware of everything around myself, but I could only stare at the King’s face as everyone else looked somewhere else. Everything was too fresh in my mind, that day when he maimed me, the day I lost my brother…it was suffocating, it was eating me up. I couldn’t breathe anymore, I needed to get air despite being out in the open square. The harsh wind wasn’t cold anymore, my body had become numb to it. My figure was trembling so hard I could hear and feel my teeth clattering against each other, my lips quivering. Yet no tears clouded my eyes, heart too stale and dry to cry anymore. There was nothing except rage and fright left in my body, and the desperate yearning for freedom. The terror wouldn’t stop as long as Jeong Yunho was alive. And when I looked up at his face again, eyes shaking in blind rage, I was surprised to find the same expression on the King’s face. He was sneering, cheeks red and nose flaring as he glared me down, his hand holding the head shook. He wanted all of us dead, and all of us wanted him dead.

My hand tightened around the handle of the dagger, and if I closed my eyes, I could everything play out in front of me. All I had to do was yank the dagger out from underneath my belt, grab onto the King’s gown and yank him closer to myself, pull him down so that we’d be eye-level so that I’d stare into his eyes full of hatred while I plunge the dagger deep inside his neck, cutting his artery. Blood would gush out, spraying on me, coating me in his royal blood, one that was red instead of blue and tasted of iron, just like of the man’s he’s killed. I wanted to stare him in his dark eyes as the life left his, wanted to hear him gargle on his own warm blood, wanted to hear his gasp for air helplessly as everyone watched him fight for his stupidly mortal life. I wanted him to suffer, to feel like everyone he’s ever hurt or killed. I wanted him to shake in terror as his life slipped away from him without him being able to do anything about it. I wanted him to beg to be speared, to be saved, to be forgiven. I wanted him to crumble at my feet and clutch at my legs, grip loosening the harder he fought to stay alive. What a stupid mortal this King was.

Powerless, defenceless, helpless.

“Scatter around everyone!” Song Mingi’s harsh and raspy voice boomed through the square, sharp eyes frightening everyone away, “Go back to your stands!”

There was a promise in the King’s eyes before he turned and threw the head onto the platform, some men from the pub rushing over to clear the platform. And I was walking away stiffly, hand still clutching my dagger as I tried to ignore the painful itch of my scar. It felt like daggers were thrown towards me, and I didn’t have to look back to see the King, the redhead, and Song Mingi stare at my retreating form. I didn’t have to look back because I knew I had made myself the King’s target, a price on my head if I were to misbehave even in the slightest bit. And I didn’t have to see or hear the King as his lips moved, words hushed as he instructed his trusted royal guard to keep an eye on me, suspicious of my identity and intentions.

            Once the devil catches you, you can’t escape its clutches ever again. He holds you down, robs you of your soul and sucks the life out of you until you’re nothing but a shell of what you once used to be. He sucks you dry of your life essence; he robs you of the light in your eyes, of the love harboured inside of you, of all of your joy, of the will to continue living. And once he’s done with you, he leaves you alone in this world to rot away, to suffer, to cry, to hate, until your heart is nothing but a rotten fruit. A damned fruit.

Forbidden, tempting, dangerous.

If famish wasn’t such a strong state of mind, so strong that it consumes your thoughts in its entirety, the damned fruit would’ve remained untouched. But when famish mingles with fear and pain, it leaves you desperate enough to go to lengths that you know once caught would make you suffer.

There was nobody but myself to blame as I was veered inside the cold Throne Room, heart pounding and eyes tear filled as people moaned and groaned in pain, a line consisting of five people in front of me. The grip on my right arm was so painful and so tight that it probably had already cut off my blood flow, and I couldn’t fight it off. I was frail and small, a man twice my size and height could easily do whatever to me. And yet, despite knowing that I might not see another sunrise, all I could think about was my sickly brother laying in his bed, struggling to breathe while hungry. I had almost made it outside the market when I heard someone chase after me, shouting as they closed in on me. Somebody saw me take the damn apple, and they snitched to the Royal Guard, to Song Mingi. All I wanted was to feed my sick brother, to prolong his time in this world and fulfil one wish of his. He just wanted to eat an apple.

My body trembled as the lady at the front of the line wailed in pain, choking on her own screams as the smell of burnt skin was horrid in the room, bringing acid into my throat. I was nauseous, I felt like passing out. I tried to yank my arm free again and bolt out of the Throne Room, but the guard holding me just hissed and yanked me forward as the sobbing woman was dragged away, hand cradled to her chest. I couldn’t look, I was too afraid. I knew what would happen to me, everybody knew what would happen to them if they dared steal, but I didn’t want to accept it yet. I just couldn’t. If the King branded you, you were his for eternity.

The Devil would find you in his next life, and he would claim you again as his. He would make you suffer; he would torture you and laugh while you beg for forgiveness.

I jumped as a man at the front started begging loudly, falling to his knees as his arm was forced onto the marble table, the fireplace blazing the closer we got to it. There were only three more people in front of me. The man started crying, trying to free himself, but the King’s laughter echoed in the vast Throne Room, and then the man’s scream was so loud it made my ears ring. I fought against the grip on myself again, breathing getting shallow as my heart was beating so fast, I thought I would die from heart failure before the sizzling metal rod could even touch my skin.

“Stop whimpering, you stupid bitch.” The tall man holding me hissed, sharp eyes boring into mine as he loomed over me with his lanky form. He was frightening, he was the Devil’s right hand, he was his Beelzebub. It felt like the room was closing in on me despite its grandiose size, like it was about to swallow me whole as perspiration gathered on my brows, slowly dripping down my temples. I couldn’t breathe when another man was maimed, marked for life, screams echoing in the vast chamber. My captor just smirked as the fear I felt reflected off my face, pulling me closer towards my tormentor. I wanted to run away, I wanted to save myself, I needed to return to my brother, but I wasn’t strong enough.

The King’s face was twisted in a sick expression as he pressed the metal rod into another man’s hand, his victim having long fainted. The man lay limply on the floor when the guard holding him up released him, and the King kicked him, but the man didn’t budge. The King’s jaw clenched and he groaned, looking at the guard who had held the man as if he was exasperated by his incompetence.

“Take this scum away, you fool!” He hissed, dark eyes settling on his guard as he bared his teeth at him. The King was even scarier in person, from up close, in the Throne Room. His red cheeks and burgundy tainted lips could’ve fooled anyone who didn’t know him. Why did a Devil like him have such soft features when all he did was hurt and hurt others, terrorize them and make them wish they were never born? Why was someone with an Angel face a creature so dark everyone feared its name and existence? My body shook uncontrollably as I realized I was next in line. Time stood still for a second, everything disappearing around me as my ears rung and eyes saw white only. And then, as my captor tugged on my arm, everything hit me at full force.

My rapid heartbeat, the thumping of my head, the desperation crawling up my throat, the need to save myself, I had to get out. I had to return to my brother, he just wanted an apple. Why was life unfair? Almost as if awoken from a dormant sleep, adrenaline kicked hard through my system, flooding my whole being like I didn’t know it was even possible. My lungs expanded and muscles tensed, and when Song Mingi tugged on my arm again, barely three steps away from the marble table, I jumped. I jumped and I kicked at the man’s chest, scratching his neck and making him yelp in pain. Yet he never released me, but I wasn’t giving up. I had to save myself, nobody else would do it for me. And so, I kicked when I was hoisted up by my waist, I screamed at the top of my lungs, I even punched whoever dared touch me. But as if I weighted nothing, I was thrown on the marble table, back hitting it hard, head crushing into the cold table. I gasped, vision fuzzy for a second, until a dark and sinister laugh snapped me back to reality. I froze when I realized I was being held down against the table by Song Mingi, expression so dark I would’ve recoiled if I could’ve. His jaw was clenched and his gaze was so sharp it could’ve cut me if it were possible. But the King, Jeong Yunho, he was calm. He looked the opposite of what his Royal Guard looked like, and something dropped deep in my stomach.

The King looked entertained by the fight I was putting up; he was enjoying it. My lower lip quivered as a hand decorated with rings, metal ornaments, reached out and lightly traced my bottom lip. I couldn’t breathe as my eyes were captivated by Jeong Yunho’s dark ones, pupils dilated as he sneered, a crazed look crossing his features as I gasped for air, trying to catch my breath. The King gripped my jaw tightly, so tightly that I thought he’d break it in two, but what was even more painful were the sharp ends of his rings cutting into my skin. I whimpered as I tried to pull my head away, but I was immobilised by Song Mingi, who was smirking as he watched the exchange.

“Oh, little dove,” The King whispered as his eyebrows furrowed, mock concern crossing his features, “Look at how frightened she is, My Mingi.”

The royal guard’s eyes turned even darker, a predatory look crossing his features as he chuckled, hold on me tightening just a little more as my body started shaking more violently, breathing loud as I breathed through my nose. The King’s smirk matched his guard’s, and he released a long sigh, making me whimper when he dug his sharp claws more into my skin, something hot prickling down my jaw and my neck, disappearing underneath the neckline of my black dress. The King’s eyes followed the drop of blood, and he closed his eyes for a second as he took a deep breath. When he opened his eyes again, a look so evil was present in his eyes that I shook my head at him involuntarily, begging him wordlessly to spare me, to let me go just this time.

“Oh, little dove,” The King whispered, pursing his blood red lips, suddenly releasing my jaw as he grabbed something. My heart raced faster than before, if that were even possible, and I shook my head as I felt sobs bubbling up my throat.

“Please, please, please,” My voice was hoarse and shaky, my mouth struggled to form the words I so desperately tried to speak, “My brother is sick, please.”

“You know the rules, little dove.” There was almost something like sadness tinging Jeong Yunho’s voice as his mouth pulled to the side, eyes staring off into the blazing fire. My jaw clenched as I looked at what he was holding, and my stomach coiled in even more fear. I couldn’t let this happen, I just couldn’t.

“Let me go, I promise I will never do it again, Your Grace.” I begged, hoping that I could get to him somehow, but the King just hummed as if he wasn’t truly listening to me. I was terrified, but I couldn’t help but feel wronged. If the King provided us with everything we needed, with sufficient food, then we wouldn’t have to go out and steal as a means of survival. He was the one forcing us into doing these things, and yet he was the one punishing us for something he would never change. It was unfair, and I couldn’t help but soak in the sudden anger that flared through my body, making me fight against the royal guard as he pinned my right against the marble table, holding me down by my shoulders with his other hand.

“Why should I pay for something I’m forced to do because you have never once helped your people, Your Grace?” I snapped, glaring at the side of the King’s head. He didn’t react, and I couldn’t remain silent anymore, “Why are you punishing me when you’re the one forcing us to live in poverty and famish, My King?”

I winced when Song Mingi’s elbow dug into my shoulder painfully, but I didn’t stop glaring up at the King as he looked borderline bored, uninterested in what I had to say.

“My brother is dying because of you!” I screamed, losing my sanity as the King didn’t react, only chuckled quietly, “My brother is dying because you took away everything from us and forced us into the slums. My brother is dying because you hold people in such terror that not even an apple can be gifted anymore. I stole that apple, because nobody would give it to me anymore out of kindness. While King Choi was alive, the Kingdom was flourishing. Everyone was happy and content, everyone enjoyed life. You—you are no King, Jeong Yunho—”

“Shut up, wench!” Song Mingi’s face was suddenly looming over mine as he screamed in my face, his whole face red and enraged as I stared back at him wide eyed. My heart was racing and I started trashing around violently, trying to fight the guard off again, but to no avail.

“My Mingi,” The King’s voice was light and soft, head turning to glance down at us, “don’t rile yourself up over the words of a poor peasant.”

“But—My King, she’s—” The guard looked shocked as he stared at the King wide eyed, seemingly confused.

“A stupid, confused, little girl,” The King chuckled, looking down at me with pity on his face that made me sick to my stomach, “she doesn’t know better. Perhaps this will teach her a lesson for once and for all.”

My eyes widened when the King’s hand moved, the sizzling hot rod pulled out of the fire, getting closer and closer to my body as the King moved agonizingly slow, taunting me by the large grin on his face. I whimpered and bit my lower lip, aware that Song Mingi was holding me even firmer than before, jaw set tight as his eyes were glued onto the King.

“No—” I stuttered, gasping for air as the King lightly grazed my hand with his gloved hand, “No! Don’t—don’t touch me!”

A serene smile appeared on his lips, looking into my eyes with a look that made me feel like a small child who had misbehaved and was now getting lectured for it. My eyebrows furrowed as I tried to wriggle myself free, trashing my legs around and trying to push Song Mingi off myself, but his strength was incredible, and I was too frail to even as much as make him budge, “Let go of me! I didn’t do anything wrong! Don’t touch me!”

My throat hurt from my screams, but I wouldn’t give up. I would never, I had to get back to my brother. I couldn’t let that iron rod touch my skin; I’d be the King’s forever. I couldn’t let the Devil bound me to himself, I just couldn’t. I’d never be free again, I’d never be able to leave Aurora, “Now, if you stop throwing a fuss it’ll hurt less, little dove—”

The saliva that had gathered in my mouth landed on the King’s cheek as I spat at him, nose flared and eyes wide in rage and fear as my lungs heaved for air, “You’ll burn in the depths of Hell for—”

The iron grip around my throat rendered me speechless in seconds, before I could finish my curse. My eyes bulged as I clawed at the large hand wrapped around my neck with my left hand, Song Mingi’s grip the last thing I’d feel before I’d meet my death. The King just watched us, he didn’t blink, he didn’t react. His lips twitched, but he said nothing as my spit slowly dripped down his cheek, “My Mingi.”

And before I could even wrap my mind around the sudden oxygen rush in my lungs, a searing pain shot through the top of my right hand, so hot and so painful that a scream was instantly ripped from my hoarse throat. My back arched and fingers scraped at nothing as my right arm was still held down by the guard, the King’s eyes boring onto my face as he watched me frail around in excruciating pain. The smell of burnt flesh was disgusting and it made me gag knowing that it was my own flesh burning, branded by the Crown’s emblem for life. My vision went white for a second as the rod was still burning into my flesh, it felt like it would go through my hand at any given moment, creating a gaping hole in it. I heaved for air as I couldn’t scream anymore, body shaking in shock as suddenly the King smirked, yanking the rod off my hand. A loud sob ripped through my body, right hand shaking so badly that it felt like it was an alien limb, not controlled by my own body. The restricting hands were gone from my body, and I was afraid to look at the damage done. I was on the brink of passing out and throwing up at the same time, when suddenly the King’s gloved hand was in the air, and the next second it was connected to my cheek, sending my head flying to the side. The slap echoed in the vast room, and my sobs instantly stilled as my curly hair fell over my face, shielding it from the eyes of the two tyrants. My body stilled, yet my right hand never stopped shaking. The pain was searing, pulsing, traveling from my hand up to my wrist and my whole arm, making me grit my teeth as I tried not to cry out. It hurt so badly that it made me want to claw at the scorched skin.

“You’re mine, little dove,” The King’s dark words were whispered in my ear, voice deep, “and if you try to run, I will find you, and I will kill you with my own hands.”

“Burn in hell.” I managed to grit out through my teeth, throat feeling like sandpaper. The King chuckled; sound high pitched as I heard the metal rod being thrown onto the marble floor of the Throne Room.

“She’s a handful, My Mingi,” The King mused, and I felt a gloved hand grip my right thigh as I was veered off the table. I managed to sit up last minute and save myself from tumbling onto the floor, “Take her to the dungeons, let’s teach her another lesson for being disobedient and trying to curse her King.”

My eyes widened, desperation clawing at my bones as I tried to push the guard off, but he just grabbed my arms and tied them behind my back before I could even as much as protest. My head was spinning and it was a little hard to realize what exactly was happening, the pain coming from my hand the only thing I could focus on as Song Mingi made me walk, veering me towards some stone stairs at the back of the Throne Room. Yet, I was aware that I needed to go back to my brother.

“No, no, no—my brother—” A sob cut me off as I tried to plead with Song Mingi, but he wasn’t looking at me anymore, expression stone cold as I cried harder, “He’ll die, please!”

I was yanked back by my hair and forced to stop as Song Mingi breathed hard through his nose, eyes burning as he glared at me sharply, “I do not understand why My King spared you, but if you won’t shut your fucking mouth, I will gut you right here and right now. Then, you’ll join your brother you keep wailing for in Eden.”

I gasped as I shoot up, clutching at my chest and right hand shaking from the dull ache coursing through it, sweat covering my face and neck. My heart was beating frantically as I gasped for air, eyes searching my surroundings wildly. It was dark around me, but the moonlight shone through the opened curtains. The little candle I had lit before going to bed had burned out, and the sturdy wood of my bed made my back ache. I was safe. I was in laying in my bed, in my pathetic excuse of a cottage, far away from the Castle and the Throne Room. I tried taking deep breaths, tried slowing my heartbeats, tried to reason with myself that all of that was just a dream. But it wasn’t, it was a reoccurring nightmare of that cursed day. It made me miss my brother even terribly more, and as my eyes shifted towards the small dresser I had across from my bed, my eyes landed on the sketch of the King given to me by Sir Jung. Fury flamed inside my chest as my left hand slipped underneath my cold pillow, and in a swift movement, I pulled my dagger out from underneath and flung it at the sketch as a scream ripped through my lips. Jeong Yunho will pay for everything he’s done.

            It had been two weeks since the beheading in the square, two weeks of me spying on the King to my best capacities. It wasn’t easy to remain unseen, but I managed to sneak by his Royal Guards just fine each time. Song Mingi and the redhead weren’t as attentive as they thought they were. Perhaps the King wouldn’t sleep so well at night knowing that his most trusted guards were incapable of sensing danger and noticing the littlest changes around themselves.

The King’s schedule was quite simple and easy. He left the Castle grounds early in the morning to go on a hunt in the forest surrounding his estate, then he’d go down to the market and parade down the wealthier parts of Aurora. It wasn’t too often that he went anywhere else but straight back to the Castle once he was done agonizing his people in the streets, however, he had gone once or twice dangerously close to the mansion Prince Choi and Sir Jung inhibited now. There was also a time when the King was headed to the slums, to a shop famous for its otherworldly businesses, meaning witchcraft. The King wasn’t opposed to it as long as the witches served him, and him alone. Anyone who dared use their knowledge against the King would be burned on a rug, in the square. There had been witch hunts before, they used to be more frequent while King Choi was the ruler as he was opposed to anything that dealt with darkness, however, Jeong Yunho wasn’t like that. He embraced the dark and he craved the power that came with it, a false sense of immortality laying within him. It only took me two days to realize that the King was plotting something, something that was kept hush-hush and a secret from even his two most trusted guards. The King had let them go back to the Castle one afternoon and then he galloped out of Aurora, only returning the next day. I couldn’t go after him, and curiosity ate me up when the next day the King had gone to the same witchcraft shop, staying in there for hours, looking pale and almost ghostly by the time he finally left the shop. If it weren’t for Song Mingi, who was at an instant by the King’s side, he would’ve crumbled to floor and fainted. The King was doing something very highly illicit, and I needed to find out just what. Both for my own sake, but also to help Prince Choi and Sir Jung in taking the Crown from Jeong Yunho.

Tonight hadn’t been different from the King’s daily shenanigans, however, for a change, the King had gone to a run-down pub, located a little bit too close to the slums. He was joined by his two loyal guards, Song Mingi and the redhead. They wore long black gowns to hide their identities as they slipped past the dark shadows coating the streets, the lamplighters not bothering to light the candles in this part of Aurora. Of course, that did not come as a surprise. The only adequately lit parts of our burgh were the market and square, where the royal guards would march around to check if the lamplighters were indeed doing their duties. Nobody cared about those suffering outside of the richer parts of Aurora, nobody cared about people like me.

I pressed closer against the cold brick wall of a rickety hut, barely holding itself up. Many houses looked like that in the area, and it was a truly saddening sight, especially when families with lots of children were forced to live in such conditions due to the King taking everything from them, leaving them to the rats. I tried not to think of those people, it made me remember my brother, and tonight I had to focus. I needed to get closer to the pub somehow, to gain more intel on whatever was going on inside, of what the King was up to once again. But by the time I gathered my courage and came up with a flawed plan, the door to the pub was kicked open and a drunk man stumbled outside, followed by two tall gowned figures. The drunk man was loudly whistling and he stumbled on a misplaced cobblestone, roughly crashing into the side of the pub. He howled in pain, but I paid him no mind as the tall figures turned the opposite way of the drunken man had started tumbling towards, and started walking. Their pace was fast, almost as if they were trying to get away from something.

I took a deep breath and remaining in the shadows, I crept after them, eyes fixated on their tall figures. I kept a few good meters between us, and I made sure to keep my footsteps light, so that they wouldn’t accidentally hear me. The sky was clear for once, and the moonlight was your only guide through the dark streets. For once, I was grateful that the lamplighters didn’t perform to their full capacity and left the slums unattended, making my job so much easier right now. I tried to decipher who was who, but the King and his Guard’s similarity in physique was a scary realization. Perhaps Song Mingi’s shoulders were wider and stance firmer, but I couldn’t say for sure. Especially when their strides seemingly were the same. I couldn’t tell the King and his Guard apart from behind, and I felt anxiety crawl up my throat as I prayed to God that the two wouldn’t separate.

The long street we had been walking down came to a crossroads soon. Going to the left would lead you back to the prettier and cleaner district of Aurora, however, turning right would take you towards the dense and haunting forest, towards the mansion Prince Choi and Sir Jung inhabited. As the two men took a left turn, I came to the alarming realization that the redhead was seemingly nowhere, and she had arrived with them to the pub. Could she have stayed back? Had the two men gotten rid of her? That sounded absurd, everybody knew those in the Royal Guard gave their lives to the King, and the redhead was one of his most devoted soldier, she surely wouldn’t have committed treason against someone she so blindly worshipped. But then where was she? My heart was thumping wildly in my chest as I had started glancing behind myself, paranoid that I was also being followed, probably by the redhead. If they were to catch me now, I would most certainly die as they outnumbered and outpowered me easily. I might have gotten stronger over the past years, but I still remained with a smaller built. And I was no warrior, I lacked the skills they have mastered a long time ago.

The streets turned narrow once again as we got closer and closer to the richer area, cottages in better conditions littering both sides of the street. There were very few candles still alight in the houses, and I had to be more careful as the candle lighting of the streets was better in this area. I pulled the shawl tighter around my face, and made myself smaller as the two men continued walking, but faster than before. I had to run, almost, to keep up with them. My breaths left my mouth in short puffs and as the two men rounded the corner, the main street leading them back to the Castle, I followed suit. However, I almost yelped as I crashed against a hard body, sending me backwards. I instantly panicked, eyes wide in fear as my left hand went to grab my dagger, but the man that I had stumbled into was neither the King nor Song Mingi. It was just a drunken civilian, looking borderline sick. His eyes were squinted and as he tried leaning closer to get a better look at my face, I grabbed his head and pushed him to the side, making him stumble. If I wouldn’t have caught his arm quickly, he would’ve stumbled to the hard cobblestone covered road. I have underestimated his state, and I took pity on him as he looked confused.

“Go home, old man, it isn’t safe out here.” I snapped at him; eyes boring into his. The man just blinked and then nodded once, clumsily taking off again, stumbling into every possible bench and bush he could. I shook my head and quickly rounded the corner, hoping that the distraction wasn’t long enough to make me lose my targets. But, to my misfortune, there was only one tall figure walking down the long street, their pace a lot slower this time. I gulped and pulled the neckline of my own gown tighter around my shoulders, heart beating fast as I hoped the man I was following was indeed the King himself, and not Song Mingi. But I couldn’t be sure, and I was helpless as I followed after him. He was a little ahead, a few good steps, and I refrained from closing the gap again, hesitant to give away my presence just yet. If it wasn’t the King, then I had no reason to follow his Guard, he was of no use to me. My eyebrows furrowed when the tall man took a right turn, going down a street that wasn’t leading towards the Castle anymore. What had they planned? Looking behind myself, left and right too, I made sure I wasn’t followed as I quickly ran down the rest of the street before rounding the same corner the man had, gripping the handle of my dagger. It was a narrow backstreet that connected to a dirt road which led down to a small field if you continued walking left, however, it met with another even shorter path, which was a dead-end behind a fancy Inn. The man continued walking, pace once again hurried, until suddenly a black shadow leaped from the side of a building, knocking the tall man into the narrow dead-end. My eyes widened as I froze in the middle of the street, heart pounding in my chest. What was happening? I should’ve turned around and left, but I had to know whether it was the King or Song Mingi getting attacked in the middle of the night. And so, I pressed myself against the brick wall of the Inn and crept to the edge of the building, peeking my head around the corner, just barely.

The unmistakable silver blonde hair was glinting underneath the moonlight as the hood of Song Mingi’s gown had fallen down, and I hissed in displeasure. I had been fooled. I wasn’t following the King, but Song Mingi. So where had the King gone then? What was he up to again? Or was Song Mingi just getting frisky behind an Inn after a night spent at a pub getting drunk? My question was quickly answered as a hard blow was thrown against the guard’s jaw, sending his head in the opposite direction. The guard hissed and suddenly sprung forward, hand wrapping around the throat of his attacker. But the attacker was quick to fight back, and the person’s nails dug into Song Mingi’s wrist until he was forced to release his attacker. The person grabbed the collar of his gown and pinned him against the wall, face leaning dangerously close to Song Mingi’s. The height difference was minimal between the two, and my eyes widened as the person’s hood slipped from her head, revealing her red hair. What were Jeong Yunho’s royal guards doing in a dead-end, mauling each other around?

“You complete scum!” The redhead’s voice was shaky, laced with venom, “How dare you go to our King and say such lies about me?!”

Song Mingi remained unmoving, finally having given up fighting the redhead. Instead, he leaned his head against the tall cement fence he was pressed up against, and smirked.

“I see My King has let you know about the little change that’s happened.” I watched as the redhead’s grip tightened even more around Song Mingi’s gown.

“I was supposed to go on that mission, Mingi.” The redhead pressed; tone hard.

“And now it’s me going, foxy.” Song Mingi chuckled in amusement, and I heard the redhead let out a frustrated yelp. I pressed myself against the brick wall, turning away from the scene. I could hear the two guards throwing insults at each other, their voices gradually getting louder, but I wasn’t interested in their quarrel. I was here for the King, and I had lost him. Now I wouldn’t know if he was headed back to the Castle or off to doing something unlawful again.

I sighed and rubbed my eyes for a second, gathering my thoughts and energy to head back to the slums, to my pathetic excuse of a hut. The air was chilly again, and I was thankful for the thick gown Prince Choi had sent me three days ago, a small note saying to ‘dress up well, it’s getting colder day by day’ placed on top of the heavy garment. I was thankful, and more than grateful for the gift sent by the Prince. I had nothing to repay him with, but perhaps getting rid of the King was the biggest treasure I could offer to the Prince right now.

I was headed down the short alleyway I had just followed Song Mingi down, meaning to go back onto the main street and then head back home. However, before I could even round the corner fully, gloved fingers curled into the fabric of my expensive gown and yanked me around the corner, throwing me against the bricked wall. I gasped as the wind was knocked out of my lungs, head hitting the wall loudly, making me groan as it shook my skull. As I tried to regain my bearings, I felt the gloved hand slip up towards my throat, long fingers wrapping around my throat and squeezing. I froze, left hand shooting up to hold onto my attacker’s wrist as my eyes finally cleared and were able to focus on the one holding me. And it was none other than Jeong Yunho, the King himself. His jaw was clenched and his eyes were mere slits as he glared down at me, towering over me due to his great height. The pressure around my neck grew stronger and I gasped for air, eyes widening just a little, trying to control the panic raising in my whole being. Being immobilised by the King felt too familiar, I couldn’t help but respond with panic as memories of the day I had been marked by him tried to resurface, remind me of the pain I had felt under his hands.

“What do you want?” The King hissed, lowering his head until he was eye level with me. I tried to gulp, but it was hard. My grip tightened around the King’s wrist, nails digging into his leather glove. I didn’t answer him, and even if I would’ve tried to, the way his hold was tightening stopped me from doing so.

“Who are you, peasant?” The King snapped and leaned even closer; eyebrows furrowed as his eyes travelled all over my face. He wasn’t able to see much of my features, but I knew he could see my eyes just well, and so I glared at him. My heart was racing and I tried to push his hand off, but it only made him squeeze tighter. My lungs started burning, the King was slowly choking me, antagonizing me even now.

“Speak up, wench.” It seemed he had realized I was a woman, disgust coating his features as his hot breath fanned over my cheeks. I grit my teeth and tried to push the King backwards, but he wasn’t budging. Dark sports started covering my vision, and I tried not to gasp for air, refusing to show weakness in front of him again. But as his right hand raised, the sharp edges of his ornaments grazing against the little exposed skin I had, I knew I had to do something. His ring clad fingers gripped at the shawl and my eyes widened more as I realized he was about to yank it off my face. I couldn’t let him see me; it would compromise the whole mission. In my panicked state, I did the next best thing I could that came to mind. I turned my head and bit his exposed right hand, biting through the material of my shawl. It probably wasn’t as painful as it would have been if my shawl wasn’t in the way of my teeth, but the King still hissed and ripped his right hand back, looking surprised. It allowed me little momentum to shake his grip off my neck too as it had loosened, and I lived with the opportunity, grabbing his arm and yanking it off myself. Before the King could fight back, I sprung forward and pushed at his strong chest, making him stumble back a few steps as he didn’t expect my attack.

“Who sent you, little dove?” He leered, eyes ablaze as a smirk slowly slipped onto his lips, looking like he had no intention of holding me again. Yet, he took two steps towards me, watching me like a predator watches its prey. I gulped, suddenly feeling helpless, just like the day I had been held down against the marble table, marked and maimed. I felt like that little girl again as my hands started shaking and mind got clouded with memories, making it harder to breathe through the shawl. The pain I had felt that day suddenly felt too vivid, too real, as my right hand burned, the Crown’s emblem forever burned in my skin. All the King had to do was yank my glove down and see for himself. He would’ve taken me back to the Castle and killed me, or worse, tortured me until he became bored of me.

“If you don’t speak now, I’ll kill you.” The King said in a light tone, smile spreading into a wide grin as his eyes glossed over with darkness. I gulped and steeled my nerves, reminding myself that I wasn’t that defenceless little girl anymore. I wouldn’t sit around and mop as I wait for Death to take me away. I have become stronger, both physically and mentally, and I had a mission. A mission which placed the fate of the Kingdom of the Fallen in my hands.

“You’ll kill me even if I speak.” I hissed, glaring at the King as he started laughing. There was nothing amusing about what I said, it was the mere truth. And as he extended his ring decorated hand towards my face again, I pulled my right arm back and swung it towards the King’s cheek with all the force I could muster. I was breathing hard as my gloved hand made contact with the King’s cheek, and I’ve never felt anymore more satisfying than having the King’s head snap to the side as my fist connected with his red tinged cheek. The night was quiet and my punch was loud. My heart was racing as a huge grin spread onto my lips, a grin the King couldn’t see and wouldn’t see as I suddenly took off, sprinting away. I was fast, but I knew they would catch up with me sooner than later, so, upon spotting vines coming down the side of a smaller cottage, I gripped onto them and climbed the wall as fast as I could. My heart was racing as I took off running again, hopping from roof to roof, praying that it wouldn’t give out underneath me as some felt a little too loose. I was also praying that the roof tiles wouldn’t slip underneath my weight, sending me tumbling to the cold and dirty ground.

I could hear the King and his two loyal guards chase after me, but it seemed like neither could climb onto the cottages, offering me the little advantage I needed to get away tonight. And knowing that I managed to instill even a little pain in the King would help me sleep better tonight.

            Tonight had to have been the most nerve wrecking night of my whole life as I walked past the tall guards at the heavy front doors of the Castle. The air was warm as I stepped further inside the vast hallway, scenery way too familiar. I tried to remain calm and collected as a butler stepped closer, an inviting and warm smile on his lips, as he helped me slip out of my expensive fur coat. The dark brown fabric reached down to my ankles, shielding me completely from the biting chill the late autumn wind brought with itself. My heart felt like it would leap out of my chest anytime now as I clutched the white envelope tightly in my hands, the stamp of the Crown a blood red, asking for attention against the snow-white paper. I forced a small smile onto my lips as I followed the crowd towards the ballroom, gut twisting as we were ushered past the Throne Room, a room that had witnessed so much horror ever since Jeong Yunho had become King.

Despite completely fitting in with the rich crowd surrounding me, curtesy of Prince Choi, I still felt like everyone could spot that I didn’t actually belong here. The fabric of my white dress was soft against my pale skin, the best I had ever had the chance to wear, and it fell loosely around my body. There wasn’t anything too eye catching or special about the dress Prince Choi had sent for this specific occasion, and that was the purpose. I was supposed to blend in with the rich crowd and lure the King away from the masses, where I would make sure he’d never again see tomorrow’s sunrise. It wasn’t an easy task, but tonight was the perfect timing. There wouldn’t be another one like this anytime soon as these balls were organized on full moon’s only by the King, whispers about a ritual practiced by him resurfacing every time the ball took place.

The top of my dress was low-cut and it made me feel uncomfortable for exposing so much of my skin, the tops of my breasts quite visible to anyone who looked my way, the slit in the ruffles of the skirt at least decent enough that it didn’t reach too high. The straps around my shoulders were puffy but delicate, the prettiest V line I had seen a dress have so far. Thankfully, the design of the expensive dress allowed to match gloves with it, and so, I was delighted when I saw the matching white silky gloves placed at the bottom of the box this dress had arrived in. The gloves were delicate and soft, a little cold when I have tried them on, and reached just above my elbows, the rest of my arms exposed. It was warm inside the ballroom; therefore, I didn’t worry that I would catch a cold accidentally. I have smoothed down my hair, the long curls reaching down the middle of my back, and kept it minimal when applying a little beauty enhancer to my face. The blush on my cheeks was artificial and so was the glitter on top of my eyelids, and the redness of my lips. I couldn’t do much about my pale complexion, and could only hope that the rich people wouldn’t think that I looked sick. The goal was to catch the King’s eye tonight.

When I had finally reached the top of the stairs that would lead down to the ballroom, further inside the lively chamber, a man dressed elegantly smiled widely and extended his hand towards me. I could only hope he wouldn’t pay enough attention to notice the nervousness on my face as I handed the envelope to him, watching as he delicately opened it. Inside it, there was a letter addressed to a respective Bae Joohyun, who happened to be fourth cousins with the King and the Prince. I found the idea crazy, to come to such an event under the pretence of being someone else and someone so close to the Royal family, but Prince San had assured me that they hadn’t seen their little cousin since they were five, and so, the King wouldn’t know what she looked like now. The pretence was perfect in the Prince’s head as he said my looks fit exactly that of their cousin: pale, petite, black haired, and dark eyed. Apparently, she was beautiful beyond comprehension, and I oozed a tenderness their cousin also had. I didn’t dare refute the Prince’s claims and just thanked him for helping me out once again. After all, if he wanted my mission to be a success, he had to play his part from the shadows.

“Miss Bae Joohyun, first of her name, eldest princess and head huntress of the burgh of La Rouge.” The man announced loudly to the ballroom as he read off my fake title from the invitation, and I tried to keep an amicable smile on my lips as a servant quickly rushed to my side, helping me down the marble set of stairs. It felt like everyone was staring at me in the room, which they were, and I tried to slow my heartbeat with deeps breaths in order to keep myself from fainting. I couldn’t even blame it on the restricting dress as I didn’t wear a corset, unlike many of the ladies present here tonight. It made me feel out of place, but trusting Prince San’s words, the actual Bae Joohyun wouldn’t have shown up in a restricting and puffed-up dress. She was a free spirit and often times went against the rules in order to live her life the way she wanted. Her parents weren’t too keen of her attitude and the choices she had made so far in her life, but they’d rather keep her close and not her younger sister, who apparently was a rascal and everyone’s nightmare in the burgh of La Rouge. The burgh resided on the other side of the Kingdom of the Fallen and was a lot more lenient compared to Aurora, that is, until King Jeong manages to expand his believes that far out, poisoning the innocent people of La Rouge, like he had done to us in Aurora.

And just like that, the night seemed to go on uneventfully, besides the unwanted attention men, and women alike, seemed to offer me. I wasn’t looking for anyone’s company, but I knew if I kept to myself, hidden in a corner, I would get nothing done tonight, and I couldn’t let that happen. I had to raise attention onto myself if I wanted the King to find me appealing, and that was only achievable if I was surrounded by men who made me laugh loudly, even if it was forced often times. I had managed to come closer to the King more than once, but so it seemed he was too busy staring down the cleavage of the dress of whatever lady he had been talking to at the moment, clearly uninterested in whatever they had to say. His loyal dogs were around too, of course, both dressed to the nines as they surveyed the crowd, mingling with the people at times. Song Mingi remained close to the King, however, but wasn’t breathing down his neck like usual, his outfit a lot more casual than one was used to seeing him wear. His body was littered with accessories, and I accidentally had caught sight of the redhead ripping the silver chain off as it hung around the man’s narrow waist over the tight vest Song Mingi was wearing. A heated exchange between the two seemed to happen afterwards, with the taller guard backing the redhead against a pillar, sneering into her face, until the King showed up and merely tapped the two on the shoulder before walking away, beaming at a blonde woman with a dark look in his eyes.

The longer I watched the King, the angrier I became that nobody could see through his obvious façade, of the fakeness in his laughter and smiles, that they couldn’t see his eyes darkening and a sick twist crossing his features any time someone said something he didn’t enjoy. Everyone remained oblivious to his so obvious show of dominance whenever a man managed to capture the attention of those around themselves. It was pathetic really, how badly the King needed to have all the attention in the big room on himself, yearning for the praises and ass-licking these rich people were doing. It was sickening and so infuriating as I watched him throw his head back in delight, laughter melodic but loud enough to have others glancing his way, flocking towards the small group, because it was the King. And if the King found something hilarious and worth his time, everyone else wanted to know what it was about, striving to capture his attention like that. My jaw was clenched as I watched another woman wander towards him, looking abashed when the King so much as glanced her way in passing, batting her eyelashes at him. I couldn’t even fathom the thought of wanting the King’s attention purposefully, not when so much blood lay on his hands, so much terror and horror committed under his reign, under his command.

I nursed a tall glass of champagne in my hands as I surveyed the crowd, searching for Song Mingi and the redhead, finding them in different parts of the ballroom, both seemingly busy with the people they were respectively talking to. The King, however, happened to be closer to me as he was talking to two gentlemen, face impassive as he only hummed and nodded at whatever they were saying. For a second, he glanced ahead, and our eyes connected. My breath hitched and I fought every fibre in my body wanting to look away, knowing that the King liked a good chase and a little provocation. If I looked away, I would admit defeat, and he didn’t like women who weren’t a little fiery, harder to break. The thought made me sick but I quickly disregarded it and hid my fake smile as I took the smallest sip I could of my champagne, knowing that my plan was working as the King’s eyes bore into mine, narrowing. It wasn’t the first time our eyes accidentally met during the night, and I was completely convinced that his curiosity was growing the more I seemed to be teasing him. Always around, yet never approaching him. Always around, yet never actively asking for his attention. I could see his fierce eyes on me every time I laughed a little too loudly, or anytime I playfully touched a gentleman’s bicep for a second too long. The King might’ve thought I wasn’t looking, but I was. And my plan was working just perfectly. The mission would finally turn out to be a success tonight.

“Miss Bae,” My attention was ripped away from the King as a moderately tall man stopped in front of me, lips heart shaped, and kind eyes sharper rather than rounder. The man’s voice was rather deep, yet soft, and he looked almost a little shy, “I did not know you would be attending tonight’s ball.”

I plastered on a soft smile and tried to act like I knew the man in front of me. Prince San didn’t really tell me who I was supposed to know tonight, and so I had to be creative when catching other people’s names, “It came as a surprise to me as well.”

The man chuckled as he covered his mouth with a soft looking hand, eyes glinting in amusement. He didn’t look like he had dubious reasons for talking to me, unlike many other men so far tonight, and his eyes had not even once fallen onto my cleavage, “Did your father send you in hopes of finding a suitor?”

“Perhaps that was the reason,” I mussed as I took a sip of my champagne, aware of the King’s eyes on me as I continued talking to the kind man, “it seems like he won’t accept the fact that I do not wish to marry.”

“Perhaps you haven’t met the right man yet.” Ah, the likeableness of this man just plummeted as my eyebrows furrowed, and he seemed alarmed as he realized what he had said, “Oh! I was not suggesting that you should marry or anything else, Miss Bae! It is completely alright to not want to marry, I do not wish to marry either.”

“Lovely,” I hummed, not interested in the conversation anymore. The King was moving away and I had to remain close to him, “I didn’t catch your name, sir.”

“Do Kyungsoo, Miss Bae, I see the passing of the years made you forget about me.” I gulped, nervous all of a sudden as Mr. Do chuckled. I had no idea who he was, but I was sure the real Bae Joohyun would know. So, I chuckled abashed, looking down in fake embarrassment.

“My apologies, I haven’t been to Aurora in so long…” Mr. Do nodded in understanding, downing the rest of his champagne in one go.

“Then I must leave you alone to mingle some more, right?” He sounded slightly disappointed, and I couldn’t help but think that the bond between Miss Bae and Mr. Do once had ran deeper than it seemed. I cleared my throat and excused myself with a bow of my head, looking for the King. The crowd was large and as the music had gotten louder, a dance floor had formed in the middle of the big room. Everyone was loud as more champagne and expensive wine was consumed, both men and women getting bolder and handsy with each other. I tried not to see the disappearing couples behind pillars and curtains as I walked past them, quiet moans or groans alarming to hear. I was no prude, but doing anything like that just felt wrong in a place like this. Besides, I wouldn’t have dared doing anything relatively inadequate in the house of the King, under his watchful eyes.

“Miss Bae.” I jumped as the velvety voice whispered in my ear, almost making me punch their gut as I whirled around, “You’ve been alone ever since I have left your side.”

Mr. Byun wasn’t exactly the man I wished to be around right now; eyes hazed over as his breath reeked of alcohol. He had set his eyes on me the second the servant had announced my name and title, lurking around me after presenting himself and talking to me.

“You are quite wrong,” I chuckled, trying not to glare at him as he reached out a hand and twirled a dark strand of my hair between his fingers, “I have been talking to others too, Mr. Byun.”

“None as promising and handsome as myself, right?” The man smirked, overly sure of himself, making my jaw clench as I forced a chuckle to leave my lips. All this unwanted attention certainly hadn’t been part of my plan, I thought nobody would give me even as much as a second glance, busy with others, with people they already knew. All these men were making this experience even less pleasant, as if being in the lion’s den was pleasant in the first place.

“What a confident man,” I smiled widely, placing my empty glass on a tray as a servant walked by us, “I bet the ladies love being around you, Mr. Byun.”

“Hopefully you are one of those ladies yourself, Miss Bae.” Mr. Byun winked and suddenly bowed, extending a hand towards me, “Would you offer me your first dance of the night, love?”

No, I would not like to offer you my first dance of the night, but I didn’t have a choice. I couldn’t refuse a dance, whether I liked the idea or not. I had started thinking that my plan had been flawed from the very beginning and that I wouldn’t succeed in fulfilling my mission, that is, until I felt a gloved hand sneaking around my waist, firmly yanking me into the side of a body. My eyes widened as I gasped at the sudden feeling, head snapping up, dread filling my whole being. The King was glaring down at Mr. Byun as his hold tightened around my waist, and I almost flung myself out of his grip, skin burning through the fabric where the King had touched me. Despite my goal being exactly this, to find myself in the arms of the King, it felt wrong. Very wrong. I wanted nothing more than to run away, but I steeled my nerves and hushed the thoughts that were screaming to run far away from the tyrant, and managed to ease a soft smile on my lips.

“Mr. Byun,” The King grinned, however it didn’t reach his dark eyes, “already drunk and close to passing out? It’s been only two hours since the ball started, you fool.”

Mr. Byun’s jaw clenched, but he had no choice but to bow his head in respect, “My apologies, Your Grace, I might have gotten carried away.”

“Most certainly if you thought you could dance with such beautiful maiden.” It was my turn to clench my jaw at the King’s insinuation, but I willed my heartrate to calm down and muscles to relax as the King’s dark gaze was directed onto me now, “Shall we dance, gorgeous?”

“Yes, Your Grace.” I bowed my head and forced a timid smile onto my lips as the King’s ring, claw, decorated hand found my waist too, grip firm as he veered me in front of himself and made us walk towards the dance floor. My back straightened as I tried to calm down and not tense up when the King’s hands squeezed my waist just a little bit more, narrowly avoiding a couple as they were dancing around a little too wildly for the King’s liking as he leered at them. I closed my eyes when I felt ourselves stop in the middle of the dance floor, and took a deep breath. I could do this, for the future of the Fallen of the Kingdom, for our nation, and for Prince Choi San. I could do this, and I would do this.

When I blinked my eyes open, the King was stood in front of me, a dangerous smirk on his plush red lips, staring down with hunger in his eyes as they racked down my body. I gulped and gasped when I was forcefully yanked against his broad and strong body, ring decorated hand curling into my hips as his gloved hand took mine in his, holding it a lot gentler than I expected him to. As I looked up, making eye contact with the King, he took a step forward, slowly easing us into a waltz that matched the pace of the orchestra and of those dancing around us too.

The King wore fine garments, moulded for his body, almost like a second layer for his venomous skin. His black trousers with fine white stripes clung to his long legs perfectly, enunciating his proportions even more as they were tucked into shiny tall boots that reached just bellow the King’s knees. The brown belt was hidden by the black vest clinging onto his upper body, the same fabric of his trousers seemingly sewn together with the vest’s fabric on his left shoulder and the lower right side of it. However, the back of the vest was completely different, a white fabric with black swirls on it. A black necktie was tucked underneath the King’s vest, a fine necklace with beads and a silver cross sitting on top of it, with a matching rosary hanging on top of his vest and necktie altogether. There was nothing holy about the King, it was a mere display of mockery in the Lord’s name that even such dark creature could wear and touch something so holy. The white shirt’s right sleeve was rolled up to the King’s elbows, bracelets that matched his rosary hanging snugly against his thin wrist, his metal rings, claws, eye-catching and on display for everyone to see. The left sleeve of his white shirt was tucked underneath his black leather gloves, crunching quietly as the King’s fingers tightened around mine. I tried to remain calm as the prolonged eye contact put me on edge, and I fought to stay confident and repress all the nightmarish memories of the King.

“It’s been a while, cousin.” I couldn’t completely read the expression on the King’s face, and so I only gulped. Words seemed to have escaped me, and it only made my stomach clench more when the King’s eyes fell onto my cleavage again, all too aware of how exposed I was. But it was on purpose, Prince San knew the King’s vices, and he was using it to our advantage when he had gifted this dress to me, “I don’t remember you being this quiet, Joohyun, dear.”

I gulped and scoffed, irritation not so fake anymore, “People change, Your Grace, and I have too.”

“Did your daddy tell you to behave well tonight?” His question didn’t sit well with me, especially the tone he had said it with, but I just ignored it as I rolled my eyes at the King, “Did he think you’d be rewarded for it?”

My face flushed at the implication, and it took me everything to not rip myself away from the King right then and there as I felt the sharp ends of his ornaments dig into my skin through the thin fabric of my white dress, “I’m not looking for anything, Yunho, I’m merely here to socialize, see what my cousin is up to lately.”

“I’m doing just fine, dear, as you can see.” The King chuckled, and I felt him pulling me flushed against himself, making my heartbeat quicken as I had to crane my neck to look up at him, “The Kingdom is flourishing and Aurora is doing better than it had been under King Choi’s regiment.”

“You’ve certainly brought some changes to it, Your Grace.” I couldn’t contain the snarl in my tone as I averted my eyes, staring at the rosary instead while the King just chuckled. There was nothing hilarious about what I had said, but of course, it would’ve been alarming if the King thought the way he ruled wasn’t right, “Do you plan on ruining the Kingdom of the Fallen even more?”

The King’s eyes hardened as I looked back up in his eyes, jaw clenching as I felt his right hand slowly slip lower, pressing flat against the small of my back. The action made goosebumps erupt on my skin, and I tried not to shudder as the King merely smirked, no doubt noticing my reaction to his undesired touch.

“I see your passion for the wellbeing of my Kingdom hasn’t changed, dear Joohyun.” The King smiled, but it was far from genuine, he looked irritated, “Why don’t you become Queen and mould it to your own likes?”

“Is that what you are doing right now?” I cocked an eyebrow and chuckled, “Playing with your people as if you were playing chess? What’s next, a war against the Kingdom of Light? You know their Queen can’t wait to destroy you, Yunho.”

“How saddening she’ll never get the chance to do so.” The glint in the King’s eyes was scary, they held a secret so dark I probably didn’t want to know, but I was curious. He was planning something, something dangerous and big, and I needed to find out what. But that would take time, and if I managed to kill him tonight, that dark secret of his would die with him.

“Indeed,” I chuckled and tried to ignore the way the King’s hand slipped further down, fingers barely brushing against my ass. Why was he doing this? He surely could’ve found other ladies that weren’t related to him, since he was under the impression that I was his cousin, even if not a close relative, still blood-related to him, “I see your goons never leave your side, Your Grace.”

The King’s head fell backwards as he laughed, chest shaking with the motion, the first genuine reaction I had ever seen on him. It stunned me, but I tried not to gape. I glanced to the side, unsurprised as I found Song Mingi staring daggers our way, twirling a knife in his hands. The redhead was dancing, but her eyes were solely fixed on the King as well, probably deaf to whatever the man holding her was saying to her.

“My goons, are my most loyal guards, dear, of course they never leave my side.” The King finally seemed to get over my words as he had stopped laughing and was instead grinning, glancing to the side like I had done so. His eyes softened for a second as they fell on Song Mingi, and then his cold exterior was back on as his eyes fell down on me, “It’s their duty, after all.”

“It looks like a little bit more than just duty, Your Grace.” I smirked, heart stilling when I felt the King unashamedly squeeze my ass. I jumped and tried not to sputter as he flushed me fully against himself, a sickening smirk pulling at his lips.

“Perhaps it is more than just duty.” The King whispered, winking as he lowered his head just a little bit, closing his eyes and inhaling deeply. I tensed, eyes wide as I continued staring at him slightly frightened, “You smell like fresh roses, so sweet.”

I tried not to show how disgusted I felt, and instead chuckled lightly, “Thank you, Your Grace. Tell me a little secret…do your loyal dogs follow you everywhere?”

The King quirked an eyebrow, prompting me to continue as his clawed fingers pressed a little harsher into my clothed ass, “Or do your guards offer you privacy when times call for desperate measures?”

The King chuckled, leaning down so that he’d be able to whisper in my ear. I tried to remain relaxed as his hot lips brushed against my ear, tone low and words dripping with allure, “They know when not to follow, dear, would you like to see for yourself?”

As the King pulled back, bottom lip between his teeth as his eyes dropped to my cleavage again, I knew this was it. I wouldn’t get a better chance where the King and I were alone, “Since you offered so nicely, My King.”

The King’s eyes darkened significantly as he released his bottom lip and licked his lips, nodding once. Before I could change my mind about what I had agreed to and flee, the King took a step back and released my body, however still kept a firm grip on our intertwined fingers, our gloves a clash of colours against each other. The crowd seemed to part as the King walked through it, curious eyes watching closely as I followed after the King, struggling to keep up with his long strides, but he wouldn’t slow down for me. I gripped the skirt of my dress and raised it above my ankles in order to not trip, paying close attention to my surroundings for when I needed to escape. It wouldn’t be easy as we were on the third floor and all windows seemed to be locked in the long corridor, and I could only hope I would find a hidden door that would lead through a passageway, helping me escape once I had killed the King.

I didn’t expect us to stop so soon, and so I ran into the back of the King, making him chuckle. He wordlessly pushed the door open for us, and allowed me to walk in first, releasing my hand. I took a deep breath before I stepped through the threshold and tried not to gape at the size of the library I had just stepped foot inside. The walls were covered in nothing but endless shelves of books upon books, a room that had two floors, ladders pressed up against the tall bookshelves for when you needed something from a higher shelf. The room was beautiful, and something vexing like jealousy plunged deep in my gut, jealousy that the King had all of this beauty at his feet while others had to suffer out in the cold streets, begging for a shilling as nobody had much money to pay up. But before I could marvel at the beauty of the library even more, I felt myself yanked backwards. The wind was knocked out of my lungs as my back collided against the sturdy bookshelves, and I panicked thinking that my identity had been discovered, that the King finally had enough of me. I was ready to fight him, grab my hidden dagger and stab him in the heart, fight and flee afterwards, but what I didn’t expecting was to feel his blood-red lips pressing against mine. I froze, eyes wide in awestruck as the King’s lips were warmer than I thought they would be, and really soft. It was a crime that somebody like him had lips like that. Out of distress, I grabbed his biceps and went to push the King away, but I realized that would be a mistake. How else could I distract him if not like this? He’d have his guard down, offering me the perfect chance to stab him. And so, I swallowed the disgust bubbling up my throat and forced my eyes to close as my fingers dug into the King’s skin through the soft fabric of his white shirt.

His right hand grabbed my jaw to tilt my head up, making it easier for him to continue leaning down to kiss me, his rings not quite digging into my skin, but dangerously close to doing so. My heart was racing as the King’s lips started moving against mine, not soft at all, not careful nor patient as I forced myself to reciprocate it. It was hard, every fibre in my body was screaming at me to stop this, that I could distract him somehow else, but a more logical side of me knew that I just couldn’t. I was doing this for Aurora, for the Kingdom of the Fallen, and so I relaxed against the King’s strong body and forced my thoughts to silence. My arms raised and I wrapped them around the King’s shoulders, pressing up on my tip toes to kiss him better, opening my mouth for his lips to fit better against mine. The King didn’t waste time as his tongue slipped past my lips and lapped at my mouth furiously, a moan slipping past my lips as I fisted the black strands of hair sitting neatly on his nape. The King seemed to enjoy that as his claws suddenly dug into my skin, making me whine as his tongue brushed against mine, licking at it in a way I didn’t know was possible, my knees weakening involuntarily as the King’s body pinned me against the bookshelf, immobilising me, caging me between himself and the bookshelves. It was a little scary, but I didn’t dwell on it as the King sucked on my tongue, completely dirty and nothing like I have experienced before, my cheeks flaring as I felt his gloved hand settle at the base of my throat. My heart picked up thinking that he would try and choke me, rob me of my already waning air, but instead, it slowly slipped towards my breasts, cupping my right one harshly. I moaned and chased after his mouth as he pulled slightly back, slotting my upper lip between his, suckling on his bottom one as the King started massaging my breast through the thin fabric of my dress, groaning loudly into my mouth.

It was starting to get hot around me, our actions affecting my body in ways it long hadn’t been affected like, the touches of the King igniting a dormant fire deep in the pit of my stomach. It wasn’t fair that he could elicit such a reaction out of me, not when I bore nothing but hatred towards him. It wasn’t fair that I had to go out of my way to do something I didn’t wish to do in order to get rid of the tyrant, and it only fuelled the fire in my veins as I latched onto the King’s lips furiously, setting a pace that was bruising to our already swollen lips. Low groans slipped past the King’s lips as our noses kept knocking against each other, his right hand leaving my face as it went behind my body, grasping my ass painfully. I gasped and tried not to recoil when the King suddenly licked at my bottom lip, humming lowly in the back of his throat as he flushed our lower bodies together, rutting into me. My heart was hammering against my ribcage and I felt like I couldn’t breathe, but I refused to open my eyes, scared that I would run away if we made eye contact. The King groaned as he massaged my flesh through my dress, and the hand still squeezing my breast finally disappeared and grabbed onto the other cheek of my ass before it slowly slipped back onto my lower back, fisting my dress. My chest was rising and falling quickly, and I tried to regulate my breaths and clear my mind, assess the situation in order to be able to proceed. But suddenly, I felt cold metal pressing into my skin, grabbing my jaw firmly.

“Open your eyes, little dove.” My heart did a somersault and I froze, thoughts running a million per hour, panicking. Had he finally realized who I really was? I felt teeth sinking into my bottom lip painfully and I whined as my eyes snapped open, freezing as the King’s dark eyes were right in front of mine. His neck, ears, and cheeks were flushed red, lips swollen and glistening with saliva. His pupils were dilated and he smirked as he massaged the small of my back, suddenly his thumb swiping across my lower lip. I couldn’t look away, it felt like he had bewitched me, locked me into place as I struggled to fill my lungs to the brim with air. I was scared, waiting for the predator’s next move, trying to anticipate what he’d do next. But I certainly didn’t think he’d slip the sharp metal ring inside my mouth, forefinger pressing against my tongue, “Suck.”

I gulped and maintained eye contact with the King as I licked his finger, trying to ignore the animalistic look on his face as I hollowed my cheeks and sucked on his ornament decorated finger slowly, swirling my tongue around it. The King leaned closer, lips hovering dangerously close to mine, brushing against his own knuckles. The King was panting hard as he slipped his middle finger too inside my mouth, and I tried to remain calm as I became aware of the ache in my right hand, the mark he had given me three years ago suddenly burning as if it were freshly made. I wouldn’t be able to handle this for much longer, gut twisting in sickness, yet my body was pressing harder against the King’s, aware of the neediness that had suddenly overcome it. I pushed my tongue between the King’s two fingers and sucked on them, making the King’s jaw clench until he suddenly pulled them out of my mouth, making saliva drip down my chin. I was embarrassed and my cheeks burned as he grabbed my left thigh, lifting it up and around his hips, pressing his body into mine, the hardness all too obvious in his trousers as he rubbed himself against me. My breath hitched in my throat at the friction, the King’s eyes glossed over as he released my thigh once he was sure I’d keep it there. My fingers tangled tighter into his locks as he allowed his metal decorated fingers to travel up my exposed thigh due to the slit in the skirt, only stopping when it reached my clothed core. I tried to stop the whimper from escaping my lips as I bit down on my bottom one, completely at the King’s mercy as he started rubbing small circles against my clothed clit, embarrassed of how reactive I was to his ministrations. I was aching, clenching around nothing, but I forced myself to stay level-headed as I fisted the collar of the King’s shirt and yanked him down, pressing our lips together once more, forcefully. I locked his hips against mine with my left leg and rolled my hip against the King’s hand, whining as he kept the slow, antagonizing, pace. I made sure he was busy with working me further up as I slowly slipped my left hand out of his hair, down his shoulders, stopping at his narrow waist to squeeze before I carefully removed it from his body, leaning a little forward and into the King in order to reach the top of my white boot.

My dagger was hidden just inside of it, the cold blade pressing against my shin all night long, waiting for this exact moment. I could feel the triumph in my bloodstream as I gripped the handle of the blade, moaning as the King cupped my clothed core, but stopped his ministrations altogether. I didn’t stop kissing him, however, as I raised my dagger high, ready to plunge it deep into the King’s back. But before I could even as much as move my arm, suddenly, my head was slammed to the side, making me hiss loudly at the dull ache in my jaw as it crashed into the bookshelf painfully, my left arm pinned to the bookshelf above myself. I froze, blood turning ice cold as I was afraid to even as much as breathe despite my lungs heaving for air. The King’s nose suddenly was pressing into my left cheek, his sweaty forehead resting against my temple as his breathing was loud and shallow. I didn’t dare move, frozen to the spot. I had been discovered, and now I would die. I would fail Prince San and bring shame to my name. I was nothing but a failure, soon about to meet my brother in Eden.

“Bae Joohyun, you say,” The King chuckled, sounding actually amused, “I didn’t know my own cousin hated me so much she wanted to kill me herself?”

I took quiet breaths, but didn’t speak up. It seemed like the King still had something to say, I didn’t dare interrupt his monologue, “I didn’t think your unrelenting support could turn into hatred in two weeks, cousin.”

Ah, so this is where Prince San had made a mistake. Bae Joohyun and Jeong Yunho had been in contact all this time, and apparently, she was on his side. Prince San should’ve known better, but so should have I. I should’ve trusted my gut feeling this time, and I didn’t, and now I would suffer the consequences. Because darkness always prevailed, no matter how much the good and kind fought for its disappearance.

“People change.” I managed to mutter, right side of my face digging painfully into the shelf. I wasn’t panting anymore, but my frantic heartbeat made it hard to actually breathe, and so I was still struggling to calm down.

“Not you, little dove.” The King whispered, and suddenly I felt lips pressing against my ear, making me jerk. The King was frighteningly strong, and I finally started pushing against him, trying to free myself, but it was futile…as always, “Stop fighting against me, you’ll only make it worse for yourself.”

“Burn in hell, Jeong Yunho.” I hissed, trying to look at him from the corner of my eyes. The King chuckled, trailing kisses from my temple down to my jaw. I tried to push him off again, but it did nothing.

“Still trying to curse me,” The King muttered, nuzzling his nose against my cheek again, “I suppose you didn’t change, my little dove. Did you think I’d forget? Was it worth that apple?”

My eyes widened to the point of falling out as the King suddenly released me, my head snapping forward as my heartbeat stilled. I went to throw a punch at his jaw, but he completely took me off guard as he grabbed my right thigh too and hiked me up, pressing me into the bookshelf again as he pinned my wrists above my head, the dagger clattering to the floor from my grip. Out of reflex, my legs wrapped around his hips tighter, knowing that I would slip down despite the force the King was pinning me down with.

“You killed my brother.” Was all I managed to whisper, eyes filling with tears. The King shushed me and leaned his head close, his soft features scary all of a sudden as his blank mask slipped back on.

“You killed your brother by stealing that apple and getting caught for it.” The King whispered, eyebrows furrowing, “If you wouldn’t have put up such a fight, I wouldn’t have thrown you in the dungeon, in fact, I would’ve allowed you to take the leftovers from the kitchen for your brother—”

“Screw you!” I screamed, fury lacing every part of my being, heart hammering in my ribcage, “Curse you! Burn in hell for everything you’ve done! You dare mock me to my face about my brother?! I promise you I will make sure you don’t see tomorrow’s sunrise!”

“Bold words coming from such a frail dove like yourself,” The King mocked, pouting as my body started trembling, “I could behead you right in the middle of the ballroom, my little dove.”

I didn’t care anymore what he did to me. He could kill me right here or right in front of an audience, I didn’t care anymore as long as I was free of this miserable life.

“Do it.” I gritted through my teeth, leaning into his face, lips ghosting against his, “Do it, you fucking coward. You could’ve easily killed me in the alleyway that night or in the square, even now, yet all you do is run your mouth with empty threats.”

I knew they weren’t empty threats, that the King would actually kill me in the following minutes, but I wasn’t afraid of him anymore. I have seen all grey colours of his, I knew who he was, what he was capable of.

“If I had killed you, where would be the fun in that?” The King raised his eyebrows, pressing a light kiss against my lips, making me jerk my head back, “You think I don’t know my brother and his pathetic of excuse of a guard sent you to kill me? Little dove, if they wanted me dead so bad, why didn’t they come after me? Why did they send you?”

I froze, eyebrows furrowing as the King continued with a small amused smile, “They sent a poor girl that is desperate to avenge her brother’s death, a girl that is so weak she can’t even free herself right now, yet all I’m doing is pin you against a bookshelf, little dove. My brother, Prince San, and his pest, Jung Wooyoung, merely sent a weak and poor girl to kill a King that holds twice the strength she does just because they wanted to use you, because they knew you hated me strong enough to actually do what they asked of you. They knew you had nothing to lose anymore, and they know you do not care for your safety or life anymore, my little dove.”

I was stunned listening to the King’s words, slowly shaking my head no, refusing to accept such words. No, that is not why Prince San and Sir Jung had chosen me to eliminate the King, it couldn’t be. That’s not who those two were, and I would’ve been a fool if I succumbed to the King’s words, letting his poisonous words infect my brain with lies.

“No, you’re wrong, My King,” I whispered, eyes boring into his with such hatred that it ricochetted off my whole being, “Prince Choi and Sir Jung aren’t like you. And if I’m just a means to an end in their grand plan, I do not care as long as they manage to rid the Kingdom and this world of you, Jeong Yunho.”

The King hissed, obviously displeased by my retaliation, by my fervorous belief in the Prince and his Royal Guard, “I see you refuse to see the truth just yet, my little dove, so let me give you two options.”

My eyebrows furrowed as the King leaned so close his breath fanned over my face, dark and piercing eyes boring into mine, his cheeks still tinged red, “The very obvious first option is death, but I don’t feel like getting rid of you just yet, my little dove, therefore, I have a second option for you.”

He paused, a sick smirk twisting his lips to the side, making my stomach drop in dread, “You become my good little obedient spy, my ears and eyes in Aurora, and in return, I shall reward you with immunity.”

“No—” I was shaking my head before he could even finish what he was saying, but the King’s sneering face quickly made me shut up.

“I wasn’t finished talking, Y/N.” My breath hitched, he even knew my name, “You will go back this instant to the pathetic mansion those two idiots are hiding in, and tell them, that if they even as much as dare to think to send someone to assassinate me again, I will dismember Jung Wooyoung in front of Choi San after I dissect their whore of a maid, leaving my dear brother for last, publicly executing him in the square, calling all of the Kingdom of the Fallen together to witness the fall of the Crown Prince. Understood?”

My lips quivered as my eyes filled with tears, my voice merely above a whisper, “No, Your Grace, I won’t—”

“I’m not giving you an option, my little dove,” The King suddenly released my arms, which fell limply next to my body as the King cupped my left cheek with his sharp metal rings, “I’m giving you an order that you will execute.”

I tried to blink the tears away, recoiling when one slipped down my cheek and the King kissed it away, “And once you have delivered my message, I expect you back at the Castle, my little dove.”

My breath stuttered in my throat, wide eyes looking into the King’s dark ones. Suddenly, he bucked his hips and I gasped as I realised he was still as hard as mere minutes ago, making my heart race, “Because little doves like you deserve a reward, and you’ve been awfully pliant tonight, so I will fuck you senseless and teach you a lesson afterwards.”

My blood froze, the colour leaving my face as the King snickered, pressing a soft kiss against the bridge of my nose as he suddenly stepped back, gently placing me back down against the floor. I felt abused, thrown around and mauled, skin burning everywhere the King had touched. I was disgusted, and yet I knew I had no choice but to do as I was told. I belonged to him, and even if I ran, he would find me. I gulped as the King’s gloved fingers danced up my gloved arm, slowly slipping the silky fabric down my hand, making me shiver. I clenched my jaw and refused to look down as the King raised my hand, staring at the damaged skin in awe. His lips were parted and he took a deep breath, slowly leaning down and kissing the maimed skin he had caused with his own hands three years ago. I closed my eyes shut tightly, trying to fight the tears that threatened to escape.

“So beautiful,” The King whispered, hot lips brushing feather-light against the skin of my right hand, “Mine, little dove, you’re all mine. You always have been.”

I gulped as I looked at the King, jaw clenching as I yanked my hand out of his and quickly wore my glove, hiding the atrocious scar that he had caused. The King seemed to be in a trance as he stared at me, making my heartbeat quicken even more when he didn’t say anything.

I needed to leave, I felt like I was suffocating.

“My Mingi will meet you in the back gardens, my little dove, ready with a horse.” My blood ran cold, hands turning into fists as the King turned away from me, walking towards the massive oak desk he had in the middle of the library, “I expect you back in an hour, my little dove, and if you don’t come back, I will burn down everything in my way to find you. Understood?”

I grit my teeth, staring daggers into the back of his head, “Understood, Your Grace.”

And if finding a different way to kill the King would be the cause of my last breath, I would still do it. This wasn’t the end, he hadn’t won yet, because I would always remain on Prince Choi and Sir Jung’s side, always. In fact, the King had made is easier for us to find out all of his weak points, easier to stab him in the back when he least expects it.

If I had to dedicate my whole life to bring down such evil, I would do it over and over again, because in the end, goodness always wins.

❱❱ Next part

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[norrisainz33]

Miami Baby | MV33

☆ summary: actress and avid f1 fan visits the paddock for the first time and she is a certain world champion’s celebrity crush.

☆ pairing: max verstappen x famous!reader x grid!platonic

☆ fc & warnings: suggestive! you are responsible for the content you consume.

☆ requested: nope!!

☆ a/n: this was one of the first fics i ever started writing and just havent had the nerve to post it. this is my first time posting a written and smau fic so bear with me here 🥹

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

ynuser has added to their story

[story 1: guess what i’m up to this week] [story 2: princess treatment fr 💅🏻]

view story replies

user2: MIAMI GRAND PRIX?!

user4: omg are you finally going to a grand prix!!!!???

yourbff: AND SHES DRIVING A FERRARI?!

ynuser: YES!! this is a dream come true

yourbff: i’m so happy for you y/n/n 🤍 FORZA FERRARI!!!!

ynuser: FORZA FERRARI

tomholland2013: Hope you have the best time in Miami!! Z says that you have to come with us to Silverstone tho

ynuser: thank you tommy!! count me in 🫶🏻

user3: MAMA Y MIAMI

user1: car or driver - level impossible

ynuser has made a post

liked by scuderiaferrari, carlossainz55, sabrinacarpenter, zendaya and 2,657,101 others

ynuser: hot new driver alert, watch out boys! Make sure to catch my hot lap with The Carlos Sainz and say hi if you see me this weekend in Miami 🫶🏻❤️🏎️

view all 2,103 comments

user3: the way she was giggling like a little kid as carlos whipped the car around , oh i love her

user4: no bc she’s finally at a gp living her dreams

user6: she’s literally just another celebrity?

user5: user6 you don’t know the lore! she’s been an f1 fan since before she got famous and she’s been friends with rebecca and alex for quite a while

carlossainz55: had an absolute blast driving with you! looking forward to seeing you this weekend!

ynuser: likewise!!!

scuderiaferrari: bellissima! ready for an exciting weekend ❤️

iamrebeccad: hottest hot lap i’ve ever seen😍😍

maxverstappen1: hot lap with me next

charlesleclerc: since when do you do hot laps?

user8: AM I READING THIS RIGHT

user9: MAX!???????????

user10: i’m sorry is the max verstappen trying to flirt rn

charlesleclerc has posted a story

view story replies

ynuser: thank you charlie 🫶🏻

charlesleclerc: bien sûr y/n

user3: do you wanna be my chauffeur next?

maxverstappen1: charles you have got to introduce me to her

charleslerclerc: to who?

maxverstappen1: y/n

charlesleclerc: max are you ok?

maxverstappen1: what do you mean??? yes, i am ok??

charlesleclerc: i’m just shocked you willingly want to be introduced to someone??? let alone a celebrity?

maxverstappen1: charles 🙄

maxverstapppen1: she may or may not be my celebrity crush ok

charlesleclerc: ohhh mon ami you should have said that sooner

charlesleclerc: i’ll get alex and rebecca on the case 😉

maxverstappen1: oh god no charles i just meant an introduction i don’t need anyone on the case 😭

user12: 3 pretty best friends

user14: the little matching outfits?! im sick

ynuser has added to their story

view story replies

user15: you were made to wear ferrari merch

iamrebeccad: can’t wait to show you off to all the other boys 😍

ynuser: but you’re the only one i want 😫

iamrebeccad: i know darling but im not the only one who wants you 😉

ynuser: CRYPTIC what does that mean

alexandrasaintmleux: i’m so glad we finally got you to ferrari mon amour but we should definitely take a walk around the paddock!! you can meet some drivers that aren’t in red - maybe some blue

ynuser: i’ll go anywhere with you

maxverstappen1: i think red bull blue would look better on you

ynuser: blue? perhaps!

user17: begging to know where you got that belt it’s so slay

user22: one of these drivers has got to wife you up you’d be the best wag

user18: can’t wait for all the pictures of you on the grid

ynuser has added to their story

view story replies

charlesleclerc: find max! he’ll help you get back to ferrari

user14: steal all their notes and bring it to ferrari so we can have a better car

landonorris: come to mclaren its way better here

ynuser: ok then come get me muppet i’m lost 😭

user87: steal one of the cars and give it to carlos!!!

user23: ms girl what are you doing there?? i thought you were supposed to be filming your new movie!

iamrebeccad: 🤭🤭🤭

ynuser: oh so you did this on purpose?

user55: project get ferrari a rocket ship is a go

~~

The pit lane was humming with activity as mechanics and team members alike continued with their duties after a productive qualifying session. You glanced around looking for your friends, alex and rebecca, who had convinced you to take this walk in the first place, but you couldn’t find them in the sea of red bull employees. Letting out a sigh you pulled out your phone hoping to see some sort of reply from either them but there was nothing.

"y/n?" a familiar voice questioned, startling you out of your thoughts. you were met with a confused looking max verstappen and you felt your cheeks heat. max was still in his white fireproofs with his suit pulled down around his waist and you'd be lying if you said he didn't look incredible. you may have accidentally admitted to alex that max was your crush on the grid and you had a sneaking suspicion thats why both her and rebecca magically disappeared leaving you here.

"yes! hi max!!" you said quickly, holding out your hand for him to shake. "it's a genuine honor to meet you!" max looked down at your outstretched hand and paused for a moment before taking it in his own.

his hand engulfed yours as a grin stretched across his face, "the honor is mine, y/n - i'm actually a pretty big fan of yours."

"you are?"

max chuckled, "yes? is that hard to believe?"

"no, no .. i just didn't think you'd know who i was! i mean - im just surprised is all," you said quickly, realizing you were stumbling over your words but max didn't seem to be phased.

"don't be surprised, you are quite talented," max took a sip from his red bull can and you watched as his eyes danced around the pit lane. "do you want an escort back to ferrari?"

"yes, please."

"great, come with me," max rested his hand on the small of your back as he ushered you through the red bull garage and back to the paddock. he made idle chit chat as you tried your very best to focus on anything other than the electricity you could feel from where his hand met the fabric of your dress.

"ahh there you are mon amor!" alex cooed as you and max approached the ferrari hospitality. rebecca looked between you and max with a knowing look on her face. you made a mental note to talk to them both later about how they couldn't just leave you places unattended even if it meant meeting max.

"well would you look at this," charles patted max on the back as he walked past taking his place next to alex. he had a devilish smirk plastered across his handsome features as his eyes travelled between the two of you.

"max was kind enough to help me navigate my way back here after alex and rebecca so sweetly ditched me in the pit lane."

"oh was he now? well then we must repay my dear friend! how about you come to the club with us after the race tomorrow max?" charles looked expectantly at his friend.

max let out a sigh, "i suppose i could be persuaded."

"thats the spirit!" charles clapped his hands together, "i'll text you the details mon ami."

a night club? in miami? with max verstappen? this ought to be interesting.

~~

ynuser has posted multiple stories

[story 1: race day let’s go] [story 2: im not crying!! YOU are] [story 3: idk if miami can handle us @.alexandrasaintmleux]

view all story replies

user16: you crying over lando winning his first race is so real

landonorris: i am crying u r right girl

ynuser: as long as ur not cryin in the club

landonorris: not yet !! but the night is young!!

user22: ok body is tea wtf

alexandrasaintmleux: you’re so beautiful i love you so much

ynuser: YOU are so beautiful. i love you more my girl

yourbff: why are you !! a ferrari!!! crying over a mclaren?!

ynuser: bc it’s lando and we love bob in this house

yourbff: ok yeah fine

user12: miami is NOT ready for your hotness that’s for sure

ianrebeccad: ok i need to borrow that outfit from you asap. also pls get to the club faster im stuck here without you both 🥹

ynuser: you’re the one who wanted to “get ready” with carlos and not us soooooo

user44: i’m foaming at the mouth

maxverstappen1: understandable to cry over me not winning

ynuser: i’m glad you get it 😫

user45: that’s not a face card, that’s a whole face economy

user33: who are these divas?

~~

max could feel the music pounding through his chest as his fellow club goers danced to the beat. feeling all sorts of nerves, he brought his gin and tonic to his lips and took a few big gulps hoping the liquid courage would hit him soon. his eyes couldn’t help but follow you as you swayed your entire body to the music without a care in the world. readjusting the hat on his head, he watched as your skirt inched lower on your hips and he could almost feel his mouth start to water.

“max just go and talk to her!” charles yelled over the music pulling max out of his thoughts.

“i can’t.”

“quoi? what do you mean you can’t?”

“she’s just… i just… i can’t!” max finished off his drink and set it down on the table in front of him. “i mean look at her,” max explains throwing his arms up in exasperation, “she’s so beautiful!! i’m not sure i’d even know what to say.”

“just ask her to dance or to get another drink!” charles looked over to you, alex and rebecca as you danced with carlos and lando.

“i can’t.”

“max - if you don’t i guarantee someone else is going to try and make a move on her.” charles was now staring max down with a scowl on his face, “and i know that would upset you more than just growing some balls and talking to her!”

max frowned, realizing his friend was right. “i’m just scared she won’t like me.”

“i have insider knowledge that says she fancies you.”

max’s eyes widened, “and you didn’t lead with that?”

“no because i wasn’t supposed to tell you!! now please for the love of god let’s go get her.”

max and charles navigated their way through the sea of bodies until they made it to your little group. you looked up at max with a bright smile and he felt the butterflies in his stomach intensify. before he lost all of his nerve, he blurted out “get a drink with me?”

you nodded, “i’d love to!” max smiled and grabbed your hand so that he wouldn’t lose you in the mass of people.

there was very little available space at the bar which left you leaning against the counter and max directly behind you leaning against you so that he could hear the bartender. not a single coherent thought was going through your head, all you could focus on was the way max’s body rested against yours, the warmth it offered you, the way he was resting his strong hands on either side of you and how if you turned you’d be face to face and able to kiss him right on—

max tapped on your shoulder pulling you out of your thoughts and earning a slight jump from you. “the bartender asked what you wanted to drink, y/n” max explained into your ear causing goosebumps to spread like wild fire across your skin.

the bartender was looking at you expectantly, “oh! i’ll take a gin and tonic please!!” you panic ordered not being able to come up with anything else on the spot. “so sorry,” you quickly added as the bartender turned to make your drink. mentally you scolded yourself for not being able to get it together but boy was keeping it together hard when the max verstappen was very much taking up your personal space.

after thanking the bartender for your drinks, max took a step back allowing you to turn and look at him. he was in a pair of his classic skinny jeans, a backwards black cap, a black tshirt that hugged his arms perfectly and he wore a soft smile as he looked down at you with his big blue eyes. “wanna dance?” you asked before taking a gulp of your drink.

max’s grin grew, “absolutely.” you decided not to give him any time to reconsider and instead grabbed his hand and drug him out to the dance floor. you could feel eyes on you both but you didn’t care. “i should likely preface this with the fact that i’m not much of a dancer,” max admitted sheepishly. he was taking note of how close you both were now. you had stopped rather abruptly in the middle of the dance floor leaving him so close to you that he could steal your breath if he really wanted and oh boy did he want to.

you laughed effortlessly, “everyone is a dancer if they try hard enough, max!" The DJ began playing a remix of one of your favorite songs and max watched intently as you began moving to the music. He threw back the remainder of his drink and made quick work of discarding it, feeling more courageous now.

you quickly noticed max was still very much standing completely still. “it’s all in the hips,” you cooed putting your free hand on his hips and pushing him so he would move. max obliged and began swinging his hips back and forth timidly, not having a ton of room to move out at the center of the dance floor. "atta boy!" you praised giving him a smirk.

max almost choked on air at that comment from you — what could he say? he was a sucker for praise and that comment gave him the confidence he needed to place both hands on your hips and pull you in so that your body fit snuggly against his own. max had a feeling that this was going to be a very good night.

~~

f1gossip has made a post

liked by user1, user2, user3, user4, user5, user6 and 26,264 others

f1gossip: last night max verstappen and actress y/n y/l/n were seen attending a party with many of the grid members. they seem to have gotten very cozy out on the dance floor sharing quite a few kisses. it’s also reported that the pair were seen leaving together at the end of the night.

view all 249 comments

user1: OMG WHAT MY WORLDS COLLIDING

user2: nah he looks so fine in that hat omg

user8: i knew him offering that hot lap had to mean something

user6: they’re both so hot i’m sure their night was … actually imma stop myself before i get banned

user3: this was orchestrated by alex and rebecca i just know it

user8: i could see charles and lando getting in on it too tbh

user4: jealousy doesn’t look pretty on me but dear lord am i jealous

user5: he may have bagged the baddest baddie alive.. how did he manage that in those skinny jeans

user4: listen those skinny jeans make his thighs look real biteable

user5: and you got me there

user9: need more max and y/n content asap

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

a/n: thank you for reading!! likes and reblogs are very much appreciated 🤍

ﾟ. ✿ ୨❤︎୧⠀✿ . ﾟ

disclaimer: pictures are not mine and everything i write is fiction

© norrisainz33 || please do not rewrite, translate, or copy any of my works posted here on to any other platform

[oreocoffee]

Yaar ek larka huma dimag se Nai nikle 😭 not sure if it’s my ego that won’t let go or what because why do I like him? I don’t know him to like him lol

[harrysfolklore]

Can you please, pretty pretty please do another Zendaya one??

fake social media

okay i’m kinda nervous bc this is the first time i post for someone who’s not harry so HI i do social media au blurbs and i hope you like this one i did for tom 🥲 let me know your thoughts and send in requests if you have any !

MASTERLIST | MY PATREON

liked by hunterschafer, tomblyth and 5,119,083 others

yourinstagram Thank you so much @vogueitalia for having me 🤍 Interview out tomorrow

view all 36,196 comments

ynfan1 STUNNING

alexademie ❤️⭐️!!!

ynfan2 models should be glad she chose acting as a career

dualipa MOTHER 🤍

ynfan3 i wonder what kind of tea she spilled on the interview

tomblyth ❤️

↳ tomfan1 HELLO?

↳ tomfan2 ariana what are you doing here

liked by ynfan1, tomfan1 and 302,922 others

enews We’re losing our minds over this new Hollywood romance. 🥹 Link in bio to see how YN hard launched their relationship (📸: Getty)

view all 5,027 comments

tomfan1 OMFGGGG

ynfan1 THIS IS GIVING ME LIFE

tomfan2 NOOOO 💔

ynfan2 “my love life has always been private but this time just feels right to let the world know” NO I CANT MY HEART

↳ tomfan3 DYING

liked by rachelzegler, yourinstagram and 502,826 others

tomblyth Sneak peak at our inconspicuous movie about 2 totally chill birdwatchers with no emotional damage whatsoever… 😏

view all 6,065 comments

tomfan1 AHHHHHHHHHHH

ynfan1 this movie is going to be so good

hunterschafer ❤️

tomfan2 THE SLAY OF THE CENTURY

ynfan2 okay now i get yn

yourinstagram Those are my babies 🤍

↳ ynfan3 we love a supportive girlfriend

↳ tomfan3 i’m definitely not jealous

liked by ynfan1, tomfan1 and 6,927 others

tomupdates Tom and YN in Los Angeles today !

view all 509 comments

tomfan1 STOP THIS

ynfan1 WELL

tomfan2 AHHHHHH

ynfan2 people who don’t support this relationship are so lame bc look at them

tomfan3 she visited him on set 👀

liked by hunterschafer, yourinstagram and 511,028 others

tomblyth Come back to the beginning of the games with us @songbirdsandsnakes

view all 6,919 comments

tomfan1 AHHH OMG

ynfan1 what a time to be alive

rachelzegler YES !!!

songbirdsandsnakes We are SO there! ❤️

yourinstagram SUPER PROUD MY LOVE 🤍🤍

↳ ynfan2 AHHHHHH

↳ tomblyth I love you ❤️

↳ tomfan2 I JUST DIED DEAD

liked by tomblyth, sza and 5,287,209 others

yourinstagram Exciting things coming

view all 37,028 comments

ynfan1 SAY SIKE

tomfan1 she’s dating my man i can’t

hunterschafer they’re not ready

↳ ynfan2 SPILL THE BEANS

ynfan3 the way this could literally be anything

tomblyth Gorgeous ❤️

↳ tomfan2 im still in the denial phase btw

FANS VIA TWITTER

//

liked by tomblyth, oliviarodrigo and 6,927,019 others

yourinstagram CAN’T CATCH ME NOW from @songbirdsandsnakes will be out today. The film and the rest of the soundtrack are out November 17th. Thank you to sweet angel @oliviarodrigo for writing this song and letting me sing it, this is so special to me 🤍

view all 76,207 comments

ynfan1 OMFGGGGG

mtv Our skin is clear. Our grades are all A’s. This is exactly what we needed

ynfan2 SINGER YN IS SO ALIVE

tomfan1 OHHHH LORDDDDD

hunterschafer ❤️❤️❤️😭

tomfan2 she 🥹 did this 🥹 for tom 🥹

ynfan3 the things she does for love i guess bc i thought she was allergic to studios

tomblyth So proud of you 🤍

↳ tomfan3 WHAT IF CRY

↳ yourinstagram Wouldn’t have done with without your encouragement 🥺

↳ ynfan4 IM MELTING

liked by hunterschafer, yourinstagram and 639,573 others

tomblyth HG film dump. Just some of the many people I love who breathed life into this movie. @songbirdsandsnakes opens tomorrow 🤍

view all 7,022 comments

tomfan1 CRYING

rachelzegler See you on the big screen 🙌🏻

ynfan1 i can’t wait to see it omg

yourinstagram SUPER PROUD ❤️ I love you !

↳ ynfan2 AHHH SO CUTE

↳ tomfan2 that should be me

tomfan3 i was here before hunger games

liked by tomblyth, alexademie and 6,926,209 others

yourinstagram TBOSBAS is on theaters now and all I can say is that I love every single human being involved in it and I’m so proud of them 🤍 Oh and thank you for all the support for Can’t Catch Me Now, you make me all mushy 🥲

view all 39,026 comments

ynfan1 AWEEEEEE

tomfan1 LOOK AT MY BABY

rachelzegler We love you sweet angel ! Having you on set was a blast❤

↳ ynfan2 MY BABIEEEEES

tomfan2 WE NEED MORE TOM BTS CONTENT

ynfan3 okay can we get a full album now

↳ yourinstagram I only release music for special occasions 🤍

↳ tomfan3 AHHH SHE DID IT FOR TOM

tomblyth Thank you for being my rock and bringing me bagels, I love you honey ❤

↳ tomfan1 OH TO BE CALLED HONEY BY TOM

↳ ynfan1 i'm melting

liked by harryfan1, ynfan1 and 409,299 others

people Our favorite off-screen couple has arrived to the #BalladOfSongbirdsAndSnakes premiere ! Link in our bio for more pictures.

view all 21,065 comments

tomfan1 AHHHHH I CANT

ynfan1 they're matching my heart

tomfan2 THEIR RED CARPET SLASH PREMIERE DEBUT

ynfan2 yn is such a supportive girlfriend tom is so lucky

↳ tomfan3 they're so lucky to have each other 🥺

INTERVIEWS BY TOM AND THE CAST DURING THE PREMIERE

//

liked by tomfan1, ynfan2 and 13,038 others

tomupdates Tom and YN at the TBOSAS premiere ! 🥺

view all 822 comments

tomfan1 AHHHH

ynfan1 i can’t take their cuteness anymore

tomfan2 i’m so damn jealous ngl

ynfan2 WHIPPED

tomfan3 i’m bisexual bc of them

liked by tomblyth, dualipa and 6,028,984 others

yourinstagram Snow lands on top. The man of the hour

view all 78,019 comments

ynfan1 AHHHHH

tomfan1 SO TRUE IT BOY

hunterschafer Love you both 🤍

ynfan2 she’s down horrendousss omg

tomfan2 i get her if tom was my boyfriend i would post pics of him all the time

tomblyth I love you so much ❤️

↳ tomfan3 WHAT IF I CRY

↳ ynfan3 they’re equally down bad

liked by yourinstagram, rachelzegler and 1,002,109 others

tomblyth Dream girl ❤️

view all 21,299 comments

tomfan1 NO WAY

ynfan1 IM CRYING

alexiademie 💘⭐️

ynfan2 ahhh this is what she deserves

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[4unnyr0se]

hhii 🫶🏼💕 I know you're probably busy and I visible kick my feet n twirl my hair when you post, your writing is so amazing 💕💕 I would love any sort of p!tskp sugawara content 🥹 he doesn't get enough love

❥ elysian | koshi sugawara

warnings: timeskip! sugawara, fem! reader, coworkers to lovers, mentions of alcohol, reader went to shiratorizawa, making out, sugawara is a flirt bc i said so, hickeys, cunnilingus, fingering, sugawara is a gentleman, protected sex, rough(?) sex, fluff at the end, not proofread

MDNI | 18+ content

word count -> 5.3k (lol)

a/n: hiiii omg im sorry this took so long to make but i hope u like it!! koshi is my fave <3

Art has a funny way of bringing together people they would never meet. “It’s a catalyst of romance,” your professor used to say when you were in art school. But that was a year ago, and so far, there was nothing: no romance, no dates, nothing. However, you didn’t mind one bit. Your art degree landed you a job teaching children at the local elementary school, and they brought you constant laughter. Sure, it was pure chaos the second a gaggle of second graders entered your classroom. But it was innocent chaos formed by nothing but the innocent minds of children longing to create something out of nothing. Getting paint on their hands or glue in their hair was chaotic, but it was free. Besides, it wouldn’t be your problem if they returned to the homeroom covered in glitter. That was for their homeroom teacher to take care of. You were the fun teacher, the one who had all the neat stuffed animals and who put on cartoons in the background. Honestly, your job was perfect.

It became even more perfect when the homeroom teacher for your most recent class actually came to collect the children instead of you having to escort them back to their classroom. The children were happily giggling in line as you clapped your hands together. “Okay, guys, who’s ready to return to Mr. Sugawara’s room?” the children raised their hands in the air, various versions of yes filling the room. 

“Miss!” one child pointed out. “Mr. Sugawara is outside the door,” he said, his little voice slurring his words slightly. You turned around to see a green sweater in the window frame.

“Oh, he must be coming to collect you today,” you smiled, patting the child on the head. You opened the door without looking, waving goodbye to your students.

“Thanks for watching my kids for today, Miss,” his soft yet deep voice filled your ears. It sounded like warm honey rolling off of his tongue. “I know they can be a real handful.”

“It’s no probl-” your words stopped in your throat once you turned around. Holy fuck, Sugawara was handsome as all hell. He had such a kind face, and his silver hair matched him perfectly. And that beauty mark on his cheek? Fucking ethereal. He looked like one of the great masters painted him, jumping to life off of their canvas.  “O-oh, hi, Mr. Sugawara! Yeah, your kids are no problem at all. In fact, they’re a delight to teach.” you stammered, placing your hands in front of your belly. 

Sugawara chuckled. “Maybe they just behave because you put on cartoons,” he playfully winked, instructing the child at the line's font to follow him. “Well, I’ll see you next week.” 

And with that, he left, the children obediently following him like a line of baby ducklings. You sighed happily, leaning against the doorframe until they were out of your sight. The door closed, and your hand lingered on the knob, mind being filled with thoughts of him.

“Oh no,” you mumbled, running your other hand through your hair. “I have a crush on my coworker.”

You began to long for the days when you taught Sugawara’s class because it meant you could see his handsome face outside of the window. He would even come in occasionally, greeting you with a friendly smile as he ushered his students out of the door. He was so caring, so kind and attentive. The way his students looked at him with such admiration in their eyes, there was no word for it other than adorable. Koshi Sugawara made you swoon every single time, and he had absolutely no idea that he had that power over you.

Today was a messy day in particular because the children got to make macaroni crafts with glue and noodles on construction paper. It was a reasonably elementary project (it’s an elementary school, after all…), but it was so chaotic. Macaroni noodles were found in places that macaroni noodles should not be, and glue was somehow covering every surface it possibly could, including the ceiling. You will never know or hope to understand how a gaggle of giggling children managed to get glue atop a roof. 

“Alright, kiddos, line up for Mr. Sugawara to come collect you for pick-up time.” you breathed out, wiping your forehead while the students shrieked in delight, fighting for the spot first in line. Your hands rested on your desk as you took a deep breath, glaring at the mess across your otherwise elegant classroom. “I’m gonna be here a while,” you mumbled, waiting for the doorknob to turn. 

The children’s conversation stopped as their eyes turned to the now-open door, Sugawara smiling happily. “Did you all have fun today in class? You’re so messy!” he chuckled, bending down to be at eye level with his students. “The librarian is gonna bring you guys to your parents, okay? Be good for them now.” 

Various shouts of “Okay!” and “I can do it!” faded into the distance as the children left the classroom, holding their sticky hands together to follow the librarian’s lead. Sugawara sighed and ran his hands through his perfect wavy gray strands, winking at you. “Were they a handful today? It looks like it.”

You pushed off your desk and stepped towards him, secretly doing backflips in your mind. “Well, kind of. But they’re delightful and-”

“You don’t have to sugarcoat it. I know they can be monsters sometimes.” he chuckled.

“Yeah, they were monsters,” you sigh, shoving your hands in the pockets of your floor-length cardigan. “They’ve been so good thus far. I don’t understand why they went insane today. It’s just glue and pasta noodles.” you groaned, looking at the mess across the rainbow-colored table that the children painted themselves. “I’m probably gonna have to stay after-hours to clean this up,” you rolled your head to the side in exhaustion. “Which blows because I had dinner plans. And by that, I mean I was gonna order Chinese food and watch soap operas in my pajamas. It’s Friday, after all.” the exhaustion from the students overrode your anxiety around your crush, making you much more candid. 

“Look,” Sugawara took a step forward. “I know my kids were a pain in the ass today. I love them, but they were a pain. Let me help you clean up the classroom. It’s the least I can do for causing you to miss Chinese food and pajamas night.” he shrugged off his green sweater vest, rolling up his white sleeves. You suppressed a groan at the sight before you. Did he know how tantalizing he was being?

“Are you sure? I can do it by myself,” you snapped the hair tie around your wrist, pulling your disarray of strands into a messy bun. “I’ve cleaned up after them before.”

Sugawara shook his head, smiling. “Don’t be silly, I don’t mind at all. It’s equally my fault, too. Now,” he stretched, exposing the tiniest bit of his midriff. “Where are the cleaning supplies?”

You pointed to the cabinet under the sink, blushing softly. “Uh, there’s sponges in the sink. They’re ancient, though.”

“Old things still have use. That’s why we keep them around for so long.” he chuckled, holding a bottle of cleaner and a sponge. “I’ll start on the tables. Maybe you can get the counters? The tables are the messiest.”

You shrugged off your cardigan, letting it fall onto the swiveling chair that the children loved playing on. You wore a simple black tank top, which was permitted by the school’s dress code as long as it had a cover-up that was buttoned. Sugawara’s soft brown eyes lingered on you briefly, returning to scrubbing the tables. The minutes you were passed by with tasteful conversation between the two of you, ranging from various subjects such as what high school you attended to what made you want to become a teacher.

“No way, you went to Karasuno?” you laughed, throwing away the third empty box of macaroni you had found. “I went to Shiratorizawa!”

“You did not!” Sugawara laughed, cracking his back as he scrubbed the second table to a sparkling shine. “I can’t believe you went there. You don’t seem like the type.” he flashed you a smile; it was so pretty. All of his smiles were pretty.

“What, you don’t think I could be prude and stuck-up?” you pretended to clutch your pearls. “I’ll have you know that I was bullied constantly. Thank you very much.”

“Crap, I’m sorry. I didn’t-” 

“Dude, relax. I didn’t care one bit. The volleyball team you destroyed before going to nationals was always kind to me. Especially Goshiki, for some reason.”

“The kid with the awful bowl cut?”

“Exactly!” you giggled, enjoying the moment the two of you were sharing. “They were always nice to me, even though I was the weird kid. I hung out in the art room most of the time, painting and sculpting,” you paused your scrubbing for a moment, nostalgia taking over your thoughts. “I kind of miss it.”

“Tell me about it,” Sugawara scrubbed off the final table, sitting beside you on the caterpillar rug. “You know I taught Hinata how to receive a ball and how he plays professionally? I feel proud but also sad. He’s doing so much with his life.”

Your hand hovered above Sugawara’s shoulder, landing on the soft fabric of his shirt to gently massage it. “Hey, we’re doing just fine with our lives. We teach little people things they didn’t know before, which has to count for something.” you offer him an assuring smile, your cheeks happily blushing.

Sugawara smiled in return, topping your hand with his own. “Yeah, I guess it does count for something,” his gaze focused on the classroom, which was about three-fourths of the way clean. “Hey, what time is it?”

“Maybe six o’clock?” you shrugged. “The clock in this room is broken. A kid from another class threw a pebble at it.”

“Do you still think you have time for your evening plans?” Sugawara got off of the caterpillar rug, dusting off his slacks. He offered his hand for you to take, pulling you off the floor. 

Nodding, you went to your desk to check the time on your phone. Yup, it was six o’clock. “I mean, probably. Why?”

“Would you mind if I joined you?” Sugawara blushed. “This is going to sound stupid, but I’ve meant to ask you out for a while. I just don’t exactly have the guts for that sort of thing, that’s all.”

You covered your mouth with your hand, giggling. “You wanna ask me out? That’s…wow. I mean,” you were at a loss for words, the prettiest shade of pink flooding your cheeks. “I’m more than happy to, Sugawara.”

He beamed at you, grabbing your wrist. “Well, would you wanna go to your place and order some Chinese food? I can pay. I’ll be a total gentleman.” he chuckled. His laugh was so gentle. 

“You’re cute,” you grab your purse, walk out of your classroom, and lock the door. Sugawara stood behind you, the grin not yet leaving his handsome features. “How the hell are you single?” you joke, the two of you making your way to your car.

“I haven’t the foggiest clue,” Sugawara giggled.

 You took your keys and unlocked the vehicle. “You didn’t drive here?” you tugged the handle of your car.

“Oh, I did. I just wanted to walk you to your car. Was that not okay?” he looked worried.

You shook your head and smiled once more. “You’re so sweet, Sugawara. Do you need my address?”

“Yeah,” he typed your address on your phone, double-checking to ensure everything was correctly spelled. “So, I’ll see you in thirty minutes?”

You nodded and got in your car, turning it on and driving away. Once you were out of the school’s faculty parking lot, you screamed joyfully as the radio played your favorite band. Your manicured fingers tapped on the steering wheel with the tune of the music, and the windows rolled down. You felt like you were in a romantic comedy, and it felt fucking incredible. 

You entered your apartment, checking out your reflection in the mirror. There wasn’t any use in changing into something more presentable; it was supposed to be a casual date. Your thoughts began to wander, focusing on Sugawara’a’s handsome features. The way his gray hair swayed when he walked, the beauty mark under his left eye. He was beautiful, and he wanted to date you. Your hand caressed your cheek, your face breaking into a smile that rivaled that of a lovestruck schoolgirl. Did the hands on the clock suddenly get slower, or was it just the anticipation that filled your stomach with dancing butterflies?

The thoughts that raced through your mind made you groan, sliding down onto the chair in your kitchen. “Hm, I should probably put out some wine…is wine casual? No, right? But we’re both adults…so maybe it’s okay?” you grew frustrated, staring at the bottle that had been gifted to you by a coworker for your birthday. “It’s a special occasion, after all…what’s wrong with a little wine and Chinese food?” 

Your eyes wandered back and forth, following the tail of your cat clock until it was around when Sugawara said he would arrive. You waited anxiously by the door, excited to hear a knocking. Were you being too weird about this? You shook your head. Absolutely not. This was perfectly normal. Just two coworkers on a date—what could go wrong?

Knock-knock. You jumped out of your thoughts and gulped, carefully turning the doorknob. Sugawara stood in front of you, still in his teaching outfit. Green sweater, white shirt, black tie. He held a small bouquet of roses in his hand, blushing softly. “I missed you,”

You leaned against the doorway, inviting him inside. “It’s only been thirty minutes,” you said, trying to keep it cool. Then, shutting the door, you walked away.

“It was still way too long. Where should I put these?” he kicked off his shoes.

“I’ll get a vase,” you said, taking the roses and bringing them to your nose. Their scent was extraordinary—smelling of romance and morning dew. It was no wonder they were such a romantic flower. “These are pretty, by the way. Thanks, Sugawara.” You grabbed a tall, empty glass and filled it with water, placing the roses into it. 

“Koshi,” he insisted, standing behind you. “You can call me Koshi. I insist,” his hand trailed up your arm. “Please, call me Koshi.”

You squeaked, goosebumps appearing on your arm. “W-wow, we're on a first-name basis already. You must really like me.” You tried to use humor to cope with the ever-growing tension.

“Maybe I do,” his husky breath whispered into your ear. Forgive me if I’m being too forward,” he snuck his arms around your waist, pulling you back into his chest. But I want you to be as close to me as possible.”

“Koshi!” you squealed, nearly dropping the vase. “I-I thought you were a gentleman!” your bottom lip trembled.

He hummed, resting his top atop your head. “I am, but I got the sense that you don’t want me to be a gentleman right now,” he purred, his fingers snaking to the hem of your top. “Ever since I saw you, I felt you wanted the same thing I did. We just never had the means to interact, at least not before today.”

“What are you saying…?” you turned your head to gaze into his eyes.

“I’m saying,” his hands slid under your top, his fingertips burning your skin. “Even though I want to sit on your couch and eat Chinese food with you,” his lips hovered above yours. “I’d like to kiss you first.”

Your breath hitched in your throat, the words you were about to say dying on your tongue. You could only nod, your face cartoonishly flushed as Sugawara held you closer to his form. 

He chuckled and pressed his lips against yours, kissing you gently and softly. His lips were plump and plush, faintly tasting of caramel and vanilla. Your lips rolled along with his, smiling into the kiss. He turned you around so you were pressed against the counter, your hands gripping the granite countertops. His hands rested snugly on your waist, rubbing the tiniest bit of exposed skin. 

Sugawara broke the kiss after several blissful moments, snickering. “I’ve been wanting to do that ever since I saw you in that classroom with my students,” he said, pulling you further into his chest. Your hands gripped his sweater. “It took all my restraint not to pull you into a janitor’s closet and make out with you. All. Of. It.” he punctuated his sentence with pecks on your nose. “Did you…did you feel that way about me, too?”

You chuckled. “Of course I did. I was just too nervous to say anything,” you assured him, leaning upwards in the hopes that he would kiss you again. “Now, are we going to get back to what we started, or are you gonna keep teasing me?”

Sugawara smirked, slamming his lips against yours with newfound confidence. His hands roamed further down your torso, landing on the curve of your ass. He squeezed it, earning a cute little moan from your pretty lips. He slipped his tongue inside your mouth, pulling away after a second. He only took a moment's pause before forcefully tilting your head to the side, brushing your hair out of the way so his pillowy lips could better pepper your neck in kisses.

You gasped, your fingers finding purchase in his silvery locks. He groaned against your neck as you tugged, biting down gently onto the spot just above your collarbone. He relished in the noises that escaped your lips, sucking a perfectly circular bruise to mark you as his. “Y’can just cover it up with a turtleneck or something, right?” he mumbled, slapping your ass. “God, you look so fucking sexy right now. Do you know that?”

“Koshi, I wore this to teach today. How the hell is it sexy?” you breathed. 

“Because it’s on your body,” he growled, nipping at your bottom lip. “This kitchen isn’t the proper place for what I wanna do to you. Where’s your bedroom?”

His words made you weak at the knees. “A-around the corner,” you pointed.

“Fantastic,” he grabbed your wrist, dragging you out of the kitchen with a devious smirk. You giggled, both nervous and excited. He flung open the door to your bedroom, scooping you up in his arms and throwing you onto the neatly made bed. 

You landed on the plush pillows behind you, giggling as Sugawara climbed over you. His hands landed on either side of your head, another smirk decorating his lips. “You have an eye for decor,” he leaned down, hovering his lip against yours. His husky breath was like a drug. Who knew someone who seemed too gentle could be a completely different person in the sheets? 

He crashed his lips against yours once more, your legs immediately wrapping around his waist as his tongue explored your mouth yet again. He groaned, sending shockwaves through your body. He was gentle yet dominant, making you want him all the more. Sugawara pulled away with a harsh smack of his lips, breaking the saliva strand connecting your lips. 

The pads of his fingers danced on the hem of your top. His brown eyes bore into yours for permission to take it off. He thanked you with a peck on your now exposed abdomen, tossing your shirt aside. Sugawara’s voice rumbled in his throat at the gorgeous sight of your bra, black and lacy. “Fuck,” he cupped your breasts, the lace dancing with his fingers. “You look so fucking pretty. Did you wear this just for me?” he leaned down, pecking the exposed portion of your pillowy breasts. 

“Maybe,” you purr, gasping as his hand slid around your back, fidgeting with the clasp. “D’ya want me to take it off, Koshui?”

“Please,” Sugawara moaned, loosening his tie to unbutton his shirt better. “I love it when you say my name, fuck.”

Your bra was tossed aside, your nipples instantly perking up at the cold air in your bedroom. Sugawara’s hands practically flew to your breasts, his shirt being tossed aside as well. His mouth found your pert nipple, sucking on one breast while his hand toyed with the other. He relished in your moans, but his brow furrowed when he heard you choking back the louder ones.

“Don’t be quiet with me, princess,” he growled, his tongue flattening across your breast. “I wanna hear those moans of yours.” he bit down on the supple flesh, sucking another perfect purple bruise on the delicate flesh.

You gasped and tossed your head back into the pillows behind you, letting out the guttural moans that Sugawara craved. He smirked against your breast, stopping his sucking with a wet pop!

“Good fucking girl, did you hear how pretty you sounded?” he purred, his thumbs in the loops of your jeans. “M’gonna take this off you, okay cutie?”

You nodded and sighed, shimmying your legs so he could throw your jeans behind him. He took in the gorgeous view, prying your legs apart. “Those are some pretty panties you have on,” he chuckled, nudging your clothed core with his knee. “What do you want me to do to you, baby? I wanna make you feel so fucking good. You deserve it. My girl,”

His girl. Those words rang through your ears, your pussy getting wetter. “J-just make me feel good, Koshi. Wan’ you so badly.” you looked into his eyes, your own filled with lust and desire for him.

He snickered. “Whatever my girl wants, she’ll get,” he pulled your panties down to your ankles, your goddess-like body now on display for him to admire. He took a thousand mental pictures of it, silently hoping you would stay like that forever. 

“You have such a pretty pussy. Look at her,” his fingers gathered some of your slick, bringing it to his lips. “She tastes so fucking good.” he shoved his face in between your legs, licking a fat stripe up your folds. You gasped at the sensation, your legs instantly squeezing his face upon reflex. 

“Fuck!” his tongue was somehow both cold and hot, eagerly lapping at your soaked folds. You clenched the bedsheets, your thighs securing his head between your thighs. He didn’t mind one bit, groaning into your core at every squeeze of your luscious thighs. He adored your taste; it was sweet and addictive. Sugawara couldn’t get enough of you. He needed more. He craved more. 

He ate your pussy like a starved man, acting like he hadn’t drunk in weeks, and you were an oasis in the desert. His nose brushed against your clit, the added stimulation ripping whimpers off your lips. His index and middle fingers slipped inside your soaked entrance, curling inside of you, searching for your sweet spot. You cried, bucking your hips into his face.

“That’s it, squirm around f’me, princess,” he demanded, his deep voice sending vibrations through your core. “Show me how good I can make you feel without even fucking you.” 

You hissed in pleasure, continuing to buck your hips into his face. Finally, his fingers curled inside you just right, acting as a catalyst. “M’gonna fucking cum, Koshi!” you sobbed, your release coating his fingers and lips. He pulled his fingers out of your pulsating core, replacing them with his tongue as he lapped at your release, the filthiest of sounds leaving his lips while his tongue fucked you through your high. Your thighs squeezed around his head, so tight and firm.

He reluctantly pulled away from your core, smiling while covered in your shimmering slick. Sugawara climbed atop you once more, slipping his covered fingers past your lips. “Can you taste yourself, princess? See how addictive you are?”

Your tongue rolled over his fingers with purpose. You knew what you were doing. “Mhm,” you let go of his fingers, licking your lips. Your chest moved up and down, still attempting to recover from that mind-blowing orgasm. “S’good, Koshi. You make me feel so good.”

“I’m about to make you feel even better, princess,” he got off the bed, unbuckling his belt to place on the vanity chair and his pants. There was a stain on his boxers, no doubt caused by his tip-gushing precum. The briefs were forgotten about as well. He stood before you just as naked as you were before him. 

Sugawara was toned, that’s for sure. All those years of playing volleyball had reaped their rewards, and he was fucking proud of it. He didn’t quite have the most defined six-pack, but his abs were prominent, accompanied by a silver happy trail. His biceps rippled along with his shoulder muscles; he was beautiful, and you both were. 

His cock slapped against his abdomen, glistening with precum. “Do you see what you do to me, princess? D’ya see how fucking hard I am?” he crawled above you, his hands caging your head in place. 

His cock wasn’t girthy, but it was long. Not so long that it would be painful, but long enough to make you see stars. It teased at your entrance, begging to push past your soaked folds. “Princess,” Sugawara kissed your cheek. “Do you want me to use a condom? I brought one just in case.” his voice was reassuring. Even though he wanted nothing more than to demolish your insides, he would do whatever made you happiest. Whatever brought you the most pleasure, whatever could turn your vision white.

“Condoms are in the dresser drawer,” you pointed to the table next to your bed. He lunged over you and rummaged through it, eventually rolling the foil packet between his fingers. He ripped open the packaging with his teeth, moving the latex over his cock with ease. He made sure it was secure, tugging at the base of the condom. 

“For what it’s worth, you would look so pretty covered in my cum,” Sugawara purred against your lips, teasing your entrance with his tip. “Are you ready, princess? How do you want me to fuck you?” he clenched the sheets beneath him with knuckle-whitening strength.

“H-however, you wanna fuck me s’fine, Koshi,” you assured him, wrapping your legs around his waist. “I just want you to fuck me, please.” 

Shit, you sounded so pretty when you begged for his cock. Sugawara mumbled something incoherent and pushed past your entrance, slowly filling you up until the head of his aching cock touched your cervix. He hissed at the sensation of your tight walls fluttering around him, trying to pull him impossibly deep.

“However I want, yeah?” Sugawara leaned down, his face buried in the crook of your neck. “Then I’m gonna fuck you like you’re mine.”

He snapped his hips against yours, each thrust more brutal than the last. He bottomed out each time, the head pressing against your cervix so deliciously. “All fucking mine,” he groaned into your neck, sending electrical pulses throughout your core. Your legs locked around his waist, not letting him escape. Not like he wanted to, he could fuck you forever. 

“Koshi! Oh, fuck, Koshi!” you sobbed, your hands clawing at his lean back. Your long, rainbow-colored nails left wild, catlike scratches that would likely be sore tomorrow. Sugawara fucking loved it. He loved how you reacted when he bullied his cock into your cunt, how it squeezed around it shamelessly. He fucking loved your pussy. Why did it take him so long to get the balls to ask you out? “Love y’dick Koshi, fucking love it!”

“I love you do, princess. You’re being such a good girl and fucking taking it.” his hands moved your pelvis, hovering it over the bed so he could better pound into you. This new angle somehow made you take him even deeper, his balls slapping against the cleft of your ass. “Your pussy feels even better than I could have imagined, fuck.” he moaned as your cunt fluttered around his cock, driving him closer to the edge. 

Suagwara’s punched forward over and over again, getting drunk off your sickly, sweet heat. He left an open-mouthed kiss on your neck, nibbling at the sensitive skin until you were covered with his teeth marks. He pistoned in and out of your weeping cunt with reckless abandon, whispering filth into your ear as he approached his release.

“Fuck, is my cock stretching you out, baby? You’ve been, oh my God, you’ve been whimpering all this time. Am I too much for you?” he teased, squeezing harshly on your breast. “Don’t worry, princess. I’m gonna give you what you need, I promise. Just lemme keep fucking this cunt, yeah?” he rasped against your neck, desperately chasing his high. His hips lost all sense of rhyme or reason, throwing sloppy and uncoordinated as his cock twitch deep inside of your core. 

“Fuck, I’m close. Y’feel so fucking good, baby, fuck. Got me addicted to this pretty pussy, shit.” he whimpered, setting a relentless pace. The sound of your sweat-covered bodies slapping against each other in unison filled your apartment, the atmosphere thick with the scent of sex. 

“Koshi! Feels so fucking good, need more,” you choked back tears, cupping his face to bring his lips to yours. Sugawara rasped against your lips, his kiss bruisingly passionate as he fucked you both through your lustful tremors. 

“Shit, I’m gonna fucking cum, fuck. That pussy’s milking me for all I’m worth, princess,” he tore himself away from your lips, his hips snapping once, then twice, then stopping their motions completely as he came. He moaned, his seed spilling into the condom. 

He pulled out of you, tying off the condom and tossing it onto the floor. “I’ll get that later,” Sugawara whispered before slumping onto your chest, burying his flushed face in your tits. You giggled and lazily kissed his forehead, treasuring this moment.

“I can confidently say that this has been the best first date I’ve ever been on,” you giggled, your thumb rubbing across Sugawara’s beauty mark. “I mean, I’ve only ever been on a couple of first dates, but this has been the best one by a long shot.”

“I’m so glad, princess,” he groaned, pulling his face from in between your breasts. “I’m so lucky you’re all mine. T-That is if you still want to be.” his brows furrowed.

You chuckled and brushed his hair to the side. “Of course I do, Koshi. I’ve had a crush on you for a while now, dummy.”

“I’m not a dummy. I’m a teacher!” he joked, a bright smile gracing his features. Sugawara’s expression then softened. “I’m so glad you’re mine. This feels like the best dream ever.” he lazily pecked your lips, pulling up your comforter to warmly envelop you. 

“Do you wanna just order food and lay here for a bit?” you mumbled, giggling as Sugawara repositioned your body so he was holding you.

“I would love that, princess,” his voice was soft and warm. “I can’t wait to go on more dates with you,” he pecked your cheek. “And I especially can’t wait to see my sexy new girlfriend at work wearing those cute little outfits.” his hands squeezed your breasts, causing you to yelp.

“Koshi!” you pretended to scold him.

“Sorry, princess, I couldn’t help it. You’re way too pretty.” he giggled, pulling you closer to his chest. You heard his heartbeat; its smooth rhythm instantly made you calm. The two of you lay there, cuddled under your covers as you talked the night away.

Art did have a way of bringing people together, after all.

[23victoria]

Eros ✿

lewis hamilton x fem!reader smau

faceclaims: h.e.r and other girls from pinterest

album is yoncé by beyonce (a masterpiece imo)

warnings: cussing, sexual innuendos

authors note: this is my first smau! any feedback is appreciated and please like, comment, and reblog!! hope you enjoy!! also sorry for any blurriness, tumblr ruined the quality 🫤

𝚏𝟷 𝚖𝚊𝚜𝚝𝚎𝚛𝚕𝚒𝚜𝚝

y/n_ig

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my album “Eros” is out now!!! I am so proud of this piece of art work and I hope you enjoy!! 🤭😉✨

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↳ livelaughlovey/n what do you mean by that?!?! hello?!?!

lewishamilton i’m so proud of you baby! they not ready! 🫶🏾

↳ y/n_ig thank you baby! 😘

bffusername literally my favorite album!!

↳ y/n_ig you say that for all my albums?! 💀

↳ bffusername girl shhhh! you’re ruining it 😔

charlesleclerc congrats y/n! i can’t wait to listen!

marrymey/n just dropped everything to go listen!!

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y/n_ig

liked by lewishamilton, beyoncé, charlesleclerc, oscarpiastri and 4,287,326 others

wow, #1 globally and in the states. i literally had a week to write something but i honestly can’t tell you how im feeling rn! i’m utterly speechless and forever grateful 🥹❤️ thank you guys for all the love, your amazing!!

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username1 flawless and 7/11 have been on replay everyday!!

lewishamilton i expected nothing less from the most beautiful woman to ever exist. beyond proud of you my love ♥️

↳ y/n_ig i love you 🥹♥️

oscarpiastri_ congrats y/n! you deserve this!

↳ y/n_ig thank you osc!

marrymey/n the album is an absolute masterpiece!! rocket and pretty hurts?!?? it hit me right in the feels 🥲

beyoncé congrats honey ❤️

↳ y/n_ig thank you queen! ❤️

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y/n_ig and lewishamilton

liked by charlesleclerc, landonorris, beyoncé, oscarpiastri and 9,997,826 others

“Hell yeah, you the shit, that's why you're my equivalent ”

5.24.23 💍

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username6 holy fuck they’re married!! omg! 😵‍💫

standy/n4life lol she said stfu thats my man. congrats y/n!!

charlesleclerc finally! this was such a trouble to keep secret! congrats again guys, the wedding was beautiful! liked by y/n_ig

username1 not the lyrics from rocket 💀

username6 she’s letting us know what they did on they wedding day, wouldn’t be surprised if that song is based off that day 😭

↳ y/n_ig it is 😉

bffusername my girl is a wifeee 🤭

lewishamilton love you forever and always ♾️

↳ y/n_ig till my last breath my love ♾️

beyoncé truly such a beautiful ceremony ❤️ god bless you beautiful 🥰

↳ y/n_ig thank you 🤧

marrymey/n no it was supposed to be meee 🧎🏾‍♀️🥲

↳ lewishamilton i’m sorry?

↳ marrymey/n no your not 😔

↳ lewishamilton yea i’m not 🫶🏾

livelaughlovey/n um girly, is that a mistake in the date?!?

↳ y/n_ig no 🤭

↳ lewishamilton no 🫶🏾

↳ livelaughlovey/n replied to y/n_ig & lewishamilton ALMOST A YEAR?!?!

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© 23victoria 2024 I all rights reserved. do not republish, steal repost, modify, translate, or claim my work as your own.

[strniohoeee]

could u do one where its readers birthday and matt has a bunch of surprises for her and like spoils her the whole day and its really fluffy and cute and then they go home after dinner and matt looks after her and they have like soft sex

Pure

Pairing: Matt Sturniolo X Female Reader

Synopsis: Matt showed Y/N just how much he loved her when he made her birthday extra special. Feeling overwhelmed by love, Y/N decides she’s ready for more in the relationship.🌺

Warnings⚠️: SMUTTTTT, loss of virginity on both parts. Just some cute ass love making🥺

I also combined this with this request : “can you write a Matt smut where the reader and Matt are both virgins and they both have to figure out how to do it together (Matt and reader and dating in this) “

Song for the imagine: Can I Call You Rose?- The Sacred Souls

⚠️This is an 18+ imagine, so minors do not interact, or do??⚠️

Can I call you rose?

Cause you’re sweet like a flower in blue

Can I call you rose?

Cause your fragrance takes over the room

A sunflower field, a clear blue sky and Matt….this was all so beautiful. Running through the field as I let the wind brush through my hair. My fingers dancing along the flowers as Matt stood in front of me glancing back at me with a smile.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

My brows furrowed and I stirred in my sleep

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

I jumped out of my bed and looked at the clock 8:00am….ughhh who’s at my door this early on a Saturday morning.

I opened my bedroom door and walked towards my living room.

*KNOCK KNOCK KNOCK*

“IM COMINGGGGG” I yelled a little annoyed at my slumber being interrupted

I opened the door with a sour face, messy hair and smeared mascara.

“Y/N Y/L/N” the guy asked

“Umm yes” I said squinting my eyes

“Perfect here’s a delivery for you frommmm actually it doesn’t say who” the guy said looking up from his screen

He bent over next to my door and handed me a large bouquet of red roses….my favorite flowers

“Woah…thanks” I said grabbing the bouquet and laughing

“You’re welcome, you gave a good day now bye” he said smiling and walking away

I kicked the door closed with my foot and put the bouquet down on the counter. Grabbing a vase for it and filling it with water.

I lifted them back up and looked at the tag, a smile growing on my face

“For my lovely girl, Happy Birthday<3! Can’t wait to see you later-Love Matt”

My heart melted at this….I was never given roses by any previous boyfriends, and to get a large bouquet of my favorite flowers with a note from Matt made me giddy inside.

I placed the flowers in the vase and decided to text Matt since I wasn’t sure if he was awake or not.

To Matt🌹

Good morning my love! I just received the flowers🥹 thank you sooo much I love you❤️

From Matt🌹

Good morning baby! You’re very welcome. Anything for my gorgeous lady, especially on her birthday:)

To Matt🌹

You’re the best🫶🏽 coming over today??

From Matt🌹

I have some things planned 😏

To Matt🌹

You creep😀 ……. Can’t wait to see you though😋

From Matt🌹

I’m going to get ready now! I’m taking you to breakfast I’ll be over in like 40 minutes ❤️

To Matt🌹

Okay my love! Drive safe and see you soon❣️

I showered, did some makeup, did my hair and got dressed all in 40 minutes, and at the 45 minute mark I heard a knock at my front door.

I opened the door for Matt and immediately smiled at him. Pulling him in by his arm and placing a kiss to his lips

“Happy birthday baby” he said hugging me

“Thank you my love” I said kissing his cheek and running to my room to grab a pair of shoes

I occasionally went home for my birthdays, but since making friends here I began to spend my birthdays with them.

But this year I decided to spend my birthday with Matt. Well it was more like his decision, but I didn’t mind at all.

“Okay baby, where do you want to go?” He asked me as I locked my front door

“Uhhh the diner by your house it’s my favorite” I said smiling at him

“To the diner it is” he said grabbing my hand

Matt had opened the passenger door for me as he always does and I hopped in. He headed towards the diner while we listened to music.

We sat for breakfast and talked the whole time.

“What do you have planned for today?” I asked him

“That’s for me to know and you to find out” he said winking

“Ohh come on Matt” I said rolling my eyes

“Well it wouldn’t be a surprise if I told you” he said taking a bite of his food

“Just tell me, and I’ll act surprised. I’m a great actress you know” I said winking at him

“I’m sure you are, but no” he said laughing

“Fineeeee” I said throwing my head back

We had finished breakfast and got back in the car. Driving for what felt like forever.

“Okay for first pit stop isss probably the best pit stop we’ll ever take” he said smiling at me

“I’m excited I can’t wait” I said clapping my hands together

Matt was driving for a good half and hour before he turned to me slightly

“I need you to close your eyes and open them when I tell you to” he said

“Okay” I said giggling

I had shut my eyes and I felt Matt park the car, he got out and came to my side helping me out of the car.

“Matt there’s no noise where are you taking me” I said laughing

“To my underground lair” he said

“Stop being annoying” I said sucking my teeth

“Just wait” he said pulling me further

Suddenly we stopped, and I felt him put me in front of him

“Okayyy now open” he said letting go of my hand

“Oh my god” I said looking around

He had taken me to a field of roses….the fact that he truly understood how much I loved these flowers made my heart warm.

“You like it?” He said

“Matt of course I do, it’s so beautiful” I said touching a rose and smiling

We walked through the field looking and smelling at the roses.

We stopped and Matt plucked two roses from the bush

“We keep these two and let them dry out and then put them in a frame with a date” he said giving me one rose

“I like that idea” I said looking down at the rose

He put the rose in his sweater pocket

“I have something to give you” he said looking at me

“More?” I asked laughing

“Of course more” he said rolling his eyes

He took a small box out from his pants and my eyes widened

“Matt” I said looking at him

“I wanted to give you this promise ring to show that I’m devoted to you forever and always. And one day this ring will become a wedding ring” he said opening the box

“Matt you didn’t” I said covering my mouth

“I did” he said taking the ring out and putting it on my left ring finger

I looked at the ring and felt tears come to my eyes. I immediately kissed him and pulled away

“I have never ever had anyone love me as much as you do, and I’m so grateful for you. I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with you” I said letting some tears fall

“Don’t cry my love, I love you so much” he said wiping a tear away and pecking my lips again

After a while of walking we headed back to the car and made our way to our next location.

My eyes kept falling on my ring, a gold band with a small diamond in it. A smile automatically creeping on my face

Matt took me shopping, he got me a new purse, a new pair of shoes, and a few outfits. Then we had lunch and we ended up on the pier walking and talking

“Having a good time” he asked me

“A very good time, I’m so thankful for you. This is the best birthday anyone could ask for” I said as we walked with our hands interlocked

“You’re welcome pretty girl” he said kissing my hand and smiling at me

We sat on the beach as we watched the people walk by and the kids splash in the water.

“I don’t know how those kids can get in the water it’s so cold” I said laughing

“I know….these kids are built different” he said laughing

“Tell me about it” I replied

“Where do you want to do dinner?” He asked

“No where, we can go back to my house, and we can make something together and watch a movie” I said smiling at him

“Are you sure?” He asked me

“I’m positive” I replied laying my head on his shoulder

Matt had taken me to a bookstore and then to a bakery to pick out my birthday cake.

We headed back home and it was an hour drive….its LA I’m not shocked.

We finally got back to my apartment. I gave my matt my keys to unlock the door since I wanted to bring my own bags in.

He opened the door and turned the lights on. I walked in after him and my jaw dropped

My apartment is covered in rose petals, more gifts on the counter, party streamers and balloons that said Happy 20th Birthday……

“Matt? When the fuck did you do this?” I asked putting my bags down

“I left your key back home so Nick and Chris could come back to decorate for me” he replied placing the cake in the fridge

“They did this?” I replied cocking an eyebrow

“Wellll I had to pay them 150 each” he replied laughing

“Mmm a good deal” I said laughing

“Very good deal” he said coming up behind me and hugging me

“Waitttt what if I said I wanted to eat at a restaurant” I said laughing

“Well either way you would’ve come home to this” he said

“Very true” I replied turning around and kissing him

“Let’s see what’s on the menu” he replied heading over to the fridge

“Ahhh pizza ingredients” he said taking the stuff out

“They know me so well” I said laughing

Matt washed his hands and began to preheat the oven, and make the pizza for us while he watched me open the gifts

He got me a gift basket of all my favorite skin care and beauty items, then he got me my favorite perfume and some gift cards.

“Matt thank you so much” I said opening the last gift

“You’re welcome baby” he said putting the pizza in the oven

After unwrapping the last gift my eyes widened and my jaw dropped

“Matthew Bernard” I said

“What baby?” He said laughing

I shook my head as I opened the Cartier box. He got me the necklace I had been dreaming of getting myself, but it was over $2,000 and I was saving up for it.

“Matt this is so expensive” I said looking up at him

“I worked for it okay, plus you never shut up about it, so I wanted to get it for you” he said smiling at me

“I have no words to express how thankful I am right now” I said taking the necklace out of the box

“Let me help you put it on” he said coming around the counter

I lifted my hair up as he helped put the necklace on for me.

I turned around on the stool to face him

“It looks gorgeous on you” he said smiling at me

“Thank you so much Matt I love you” I said pulling him in for a hug and a kiss

Matt and I had ate pizza and drank soda as we watched

Love and Basketball. My friend told me it was a cute romance movie, and it was a movie I’ve been wanting to watch so I figured today was the perfect time.

We had finished our dinner and cleaned up a bit before resuming the movie. Matt was leaning against the arm rest as I laid in between his legs with my back against his chest.

The movie was so cute at first. A friends to kinda lovers, but then it became an enemy to lovers. As they were both competing to be the best at basketball and one up another. However they were falling for each other at the same time without realizing it.

We were at the scene where it was post prom and they were outside by their windows talking to one another and realized they got into the same college.

Their feelings came out and they ended up making out on the grass, which then turned to them going to her room and you see a loss of innocence scene begin to play out.

I shifted my head a bit….this becoming a bit awkward since I was a virgin and this scene hit a bit close to home.

I’m no idiot to sex, but Matt and I never had sex. We were together for a year and a half and we just never went more than making out and getting handsy.

We finished the movie that had one more scene like that, and I could tell the energy in the room changed between us.

We shut the tv off and decided to do the dishes.

“I really liked that movie” Matt said

“Yeah me too it was super cute, and I enjoyed the ending” I said smiling at him

“Me too I was scared they weren’t going to work out, but I’m glad they did” he replied

“Same” I replied

The silence becoming painfully awkward

“So ummm you know that one scene” I asked

“What scene?” He asked laughing and turning the water off

“The one where she’s clearly losing her virginity” I asked getting shy

“Uhh yeah…” he replied furrowing his brows

“Well is it true? Like is that how it goes down?” I asked him

“Uhhh I wouldn’t know” he said drying his hands

“Wouldn’t know?” I asked cocking my head to the side

“Well yeah Y/N I’m a virgin” he said smiling awkwardly

“What? You’re a virgin?” I asked shocked

“Are you shocked?” He asked laughing

“I mean a little bit, you always seemed to know what we’re doing” I replied

“I said I never had sex I didn’t say I don’t know how to kiss or touch” he replied getting red in the face

“Oh….right” I said swallowing thickly

“I know you’re a virgin” he said

“Isn't it painfully obvious?” I asked laughing

“I wouldn’t say painfully, but yes it’s obvious” he replied laughing

“Heyy not nice” I said playfully pouting

“It’s okay we’re in the same boat here” he said laughing

“Awww virgin boy Matt” I said poking him

“You’re literally a virgin too” he said

“Exactly why we can make fun of each other” I said laughing

“Mmm I don’t think it works like that” he said coming around the counter

“Sureee sure” I said laughing

Matt and I had gone to my room slipping on our pajamas and laying in the bed. He was scrolling on TikTok while I was reading a book….

My mind couldn’t get off of the topic of sex. I mean I wanted to know what Matt thought and how he felt. I hadn’t realized I was shaking my leg till Matt grabbed my knee

“What’s wrong?” He asked laughing

“Huh? Nothings wrong” I said looking up from my book

“Something is wrong, you only shake your leg when you’re anxious” he replied

“I’m not anxious just thinking” I said shutting my book and placing it on the nightstand

“About??” He asked shutting his phone off and placing it on the other nightstand

“Just the movie” I said avoiding eye contact

“A 90s movie got you anxious?” He said laughing

“What? No” I said rolling my eyes

“It’s just I was thinking about sex and how we never really talk about it” I said looking at him

“I’m an open book what do you want to talk about” he asked me

“Well, have you ever thought of sex with me?” I asked shyly

“I have usually when I’m daydreaming in the shower or at night” he said giggling

“Matttt” I said laughing

“I’m sure you’ve thought of me” he said winking

Immediately my heart started racing and my cheeks flushed. I wasn’t sure how he was so confident right now because I was shitting bricks.

I’ve spent many nights over the course of our relationship fantasizing about Matt and what he’d be like in bed. Picturing his sweaty body panting over me as he moaned out my name….. or maybe now…. whimpering since he’s inexperienced

“I have” I said looking down

“And what have you thought about?” He asked

“I’m not telling you that” I said looking at him

“I’ll go first then. I just think about you laying underneath me, moaning and sweating. Your cheeks flushed, your eyes screwed shut and your hair a mess” he said with hooded eyes

“Matt….you can’t say stuff like that and expect me not to have a reaction” I said shaking my head

“I’m just being honest” he said

“What if….what if we have sex right now” I said fiddling with my hands

“Right now?” He asked shocked

“I mean might as well” I said shrugging my shoulders

“I’ve never done this so I can't promise I’ll be any good or that I’ll last long” he said scratching the back of his neck

“Well that’s all right, for right now it’s the experience” I said

“Okay…yeah….yeah” he said

“Well uhh you start it” I said sitting there

“Start it?” He said laughing

“I don’t know you make the first move” I said getting awkward

He leaned over and planted a kiss on my lips. His right hand caressing my cheek as we slowly began to make out. His lips moved down to my neck leaving sloppy kisses.

I grabbed his right hand and removed it from my face placing it on my boob. He firmly grabbed my breast, massaging and kneading as I moaned into the kiss

He got up and removed his shirt sitting on his heels, so I did the same. I sat on my heels in front of him and removed my shirt.

We were chest to chest and bare staring at one another. My hand caressed his jawline as it slowly ran down his neck and to his collarbone.

Leaning forward I placed a kiss on each side of his collarbone earning a sharp inhale from him. My hands run down his shoulders to his arms, and back up. Raking my nails up his arm and down his chest lightly. Goosebumps rising on his skin

I connected our lips in a heated kiss and slowly moved my lips down to his neck. Peppering kisses along the sensitive skin. Running my hands through his hair

“I love you Matt” I said looking into his eyes

“I love you too Y/N” he said looking at my face

He kissed down my neck and to my collarbone area trailing kisses from my shoulders to my collarbones. His lips meet near the valley of my breasts.

“You look so perfect like this, the necklace dazzling in the light while you’re bare in front of me….like a goddess” he whispered ghosting his fingers over the necklace

“God Matt you have such a way with words” I whispered back and my chest rose and fell rapidly

He kissed the soft tissue of my breasts before moving his lips down and licking my nipples.

“Oh my god” I gasped out

Licking, sucking and swerving his tongue as he looked up at me.

“How do you know how to do this?” I asked biting my bottom lip

“I’ve done my research” he replied with a smirk

He always words things so weirdly I thought to myself

He came back up snaking his right hand to the back of my head before crashing our lips together once more. Our tongues fighting for dominance as our teeth clashed together

Matt leaned me back on my pillows as he slid my pajama bottoms off.

“I’m new to this so I need you to tell me what you like” he said looking at me

I nodded my head and he slid his hand from my knee to my clothed pussy. Running his thumb over my soaked underwear.

“MATT” I gasped out as my thighs shut around his arm

“So you like that” he said smiling

“Yes” I whispered

Matt hooked his hands in my underwear and helped me slide out of them. My arousal basically soaked through them.

He brought his hand back down as he used his middle and ring finger to slide my arousal around from my clit to my entrance causing me to gasp

“Holy shit Matt” I moaned out looking down at him

“Have you ever fingered yourself before?” He asked

“I have, but your fingers are longer and thicker” I said licking my lips

“This might hurt” he said in a whisper and I nodded

He rubbed my clit with his thumb before inserting his middle finger into me. Gasping loudly at the new burning stretch

“Am I hurting you?” He asked looking at me

“No” I said as my brows furrowed and my eyes shut

Matt slowly pumped his finger in and out of me, if I wasn’t so turned on right now the sound of my arousal would have me embarrassed.

As his finger slid in and out I became more and more wet. Matt slid his ring finger in and I gripped the sheets harder.

“Oh my god” I moaned out

He rubbed my clit with his thumb as he pumped his fingers in and out of me.

“Matt matt matt please I need more” I moaned out looking at him

“Okay baby” he said rubbing my thigh with his left hand

He removed his fingers from me and I whimpered at the loss of contact. I propped myself up on my elbows.

Matt removed his pajama bottoms and his boxers, and my

Mouth dropped at the sight. After a year and a half I’m just now finding out that Matt is hung??

“Woah?” I said looking up at him

“What?” He said scared

“Matt your dick is huge” I said laughing and covering my mouth

“Alright enough” he said blushing and rolling his eyes

“I’m sorry I’m sorry” I said shaking my head

Matt put his fingers in his mouth to collect spit and spread it along his dick. My pussy clenching at the site of that.

“Do you always use spit?” I randomly blurted out

“Uhh no usually lotion, but spit gets the job done” he said looking at me

“Carry on then” I said winking at him

He slowly spread the spit on his cock, stroking his dick effortlessly while looking down at me.

“Like I said I might not last a long time, so in advance I’m sorry” he said looking down

“Matt it’s alright plus now that I know your fingers make me shudder I’m good” I said smiling at him

“Right” he said chuckling

Matt leaned forward in between my legs slowly hiking them up. He was a bit shaky but I began to place my hands on his back as he lined himself up with my entrance

“God I’m so nervous” he blurted out

“Matt just do it” I said laughing

“Sorry I’m sorry you make me nervous” he said looking at me

“I know when you’re all alone in your room you’re a little slut, so just do it” I said laughing

“Fine fine” he said laughing a bit

Slowly he slid into me, my nails gripping onto him as my eyes screwed shut.

“Fuck Matt” I winced out

“Too much” he asked looking at me

“It hurts but I’ll be okay just keep going” I said looking at him

Matt connected our lips as he pushed the rest of himself into me. Both gasping at the feeling as we locked eyes.

“You can move” I said to him

He nodded his head and slowly rocked back and forth into me. His breathing already getting shaky as his hips moved faster

“Fuck Y/N” he moaned out as his mouth fell open

“Matt you feel so good” I moaned out pulling him as close as humanly possible

Matt was panting in my ear as his hips snapped into me causing my nails to rake up and down his back.

Matt’s lips moving down my chest as he peppered kissed across my breast as his hips snapped into me.

“Matt baby I’m so close already” I moaned out

I wasn’t sure if it was because I was craving sex for so long, or if it was because Matt’s dick curved perfectly or if it was because Matt fucked good….but all I know is I was about to cum so hard I just needed a little push

I brought my right hand up to Matt’s mouth

“Suck please” I said in a moan

Matt’s mouth opened his mouth and he sucked on my middle and ring finger, swirling his tongue around them while he held eye contact with me…..like a slut…

I pulled my fingers from his mouth and brought them down to my clit. Rubbing faster as he pounded into me.

“Fuck fuck fuck” I moaned out as I looked into Matt’s eyes

“I’m going to cum soon” Matt said in a moan as his jaw fell slack

“Me too” I said hitting my lip

I rubbed faster and soon enough I began to clench around Matt, my body shuttering. My thighs began to shake as I held eye contact with Matt

My orgasm crashed over me so powerfully. My mouth fell open as I rubbed faster while Matt pounded into me.

Coming down from my high as I breathe in and out heavily.

“Fuck Matt that felt so good” I moaned out as he slid out of me

He began to pump himself at a quick speed as his chest rose and fell rapidly.

“I’m going to cum” he said looking down at me

Suddenly his lower abdomen contracted and his jaw fell slack as he looked at me

“Oh my goddd” he moaned out as he painted my lower abdomen in his cum

Shutting his eyes and licking his lips as he came down from his high

Falling next to me and looking at me

“That was amazing” he said breathing heavily

“It was and I’m so grateful I did it with you” I said looking over at him

“I love you so much Y/N” he said leaning over and kissing me

“I love you too Matt” I said biting my bottom lip

“Lets go shower” he said sitting up

I got my bathtub running for a hot bubble bath, and Matt put the bed sheets to wash…

He joined me in the hot bubbles and we sat together talking about what just happened

“Can we do that again” I asked him

“Of course” he said kissing me

“I’m talking about now” I said smiling at him

“Now? We still have your birthday cake in the fridge” he said laughing

“The night is still young” I said

“You’re an animal” he said

“You created this….with that massive dick of yours” I said laughing

“Alright okay” he said covering his face and blushing

“I love teasing you” I said poking him

That night we had many many rounds, and no birthday cake….We washed the sheets for nothing….

The End

Whewww this one was long, andddd it was my last request AHHHH. I hope you enjoyed it🤭🤭. Love you guys tho🥹🖤🖤

-J💅🏽

[maplesyrupsainz]

˖⁺｡˚⋆˙they dont know me like my baby | CL16 ˖⁺｡˚⋆˙

pairing: charles leclerc x singer!reader y/n (she/her)

genre: social media au, secret relationship

warnings: none just fluff af

summary: in which you release a song to hard launch your relationship to the world

a/n: i LOVEEE smau it's so fun hope this lived up to the req expectations!!!! i rly enjoyed putting it together:)))

request!!!: smau for Charles whom he’s secretly been dating and they decide to hard launch their relationship by releasing a song together, we all know how much he likes music. Anyway, could you please use sabrina as face claim? I just really like her 💌

fc: sabrina carpenter

my masterlist

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by oliviarodrigo, billieeilish, and 967,375 others

yourusername making a little something

view all 6,733 comments

user1 and by little you mean a whole album, right???

user2 OMGGG Y/N BACK IN THE STUDIO EVERYONE

gracieabrams ahhhhh i cant wait to hear it

yourusername YOU WILL SO SOON

user3 girl of my dreamsss

user4 I LVOE YOU

user5 we are gagging for new music pls pls pls

phoebebridgers if u dont leak that shit into my dms😀

yourusername yes mommy

user6 MOMMY??

twitter ->

messages ->

instagram ->

charles_leclerc posted a story

liked by yourusername, carlossainz55, and 372,028 others

user7 going where so late at night

pierregasly travelling?

charles_leclerc y/n has a music emergency 🚨

pierregasly ohh you are down bad it seems

charles_leclerc whatever that means...

user8 IMY CHARLESSS

user9 safe flight <333

yourusername 🥹

yourusername posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, gracieabrams, and 812,067 others

gracieabrams omg cuties

yourusername i need him on this song with me 😭

gracieabrams hard launch via song???

yourusername OMG WAITTT

gracieabrams 🤭🤭🤭

user10 who is heeee

user11 omg musician bf???

user12 me when wtf

charles_leclerc 📍 london

liked by gracieabrams, landonorris, and 698,623 others

charles_leclerc quick trip

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user13 who is she bro

user14 who are you visiting charlessss

pierregasly down bad

charles_leclerc ok ok i get it now

user15 OMG

user16 gracie abrams in his likes why?

user17 mystery blonde girl returns

user18 @.yourusername follow him back 🥵

liked by charles_leclerc

user19 not charles liking this comment 💀

user19 omg he was in my city wtf

yourusername posted a story

liked by charles_leclerc, carlossainz55, and 574,827 others

user20 WHAT????

user21 urm excuse me...????

user22 HELLO?

user23 omg? y/n x charles collab?

user24 i knew u would be a ferrari girl

charles_leclerc suits you

yourusername you would say that

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, phoebebridgers, and 917,826 others

yourusername this is just your pre-warning that something is coming

tagged: charles_leclerc, gracieabrams

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user25 oh my god

user26 IT HAS TO BE A COLLAB

user27 am i imagining things

charles_leclerc 😎 see you at the next race?

yourusername oh i'll be there

user28 there's no way

user29 MY WORLDS ARE COLLIDING

gracieabrams im most excited out of everyone!!

yourusername my loyal fan🥹🥹

yourusername posted a story

liked by gracieabrams, charles_leclerc, and 402,726 others

user30 stop teasing 😭

user31 album NEOWWWW

user32 im so ready for this era

twitter ->

instagram ->

yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, pierregasly, and 1,261,026 others

yourusername my new song ‘bad for business’ is yours now, featuring charles leclerc ❤️ a big shoutout to charles for being my shoulder to lean on during the writing & recording process, the song wouldn't have been complete without his input im forever grateful

tagged: charles_leclerc

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user37 omg the song....

user38 this is giving hard launch.....anyone else?

user39 charles AND pierre in the likes she's infiltrated his friends

user40 ALL OF MY FRIENDS THINK I'VE GONE CRAZY BUT THEY DONT KNOW ME LIKE MY BABY???

user41 the best i've ever had he's so nice he ruined all my plans???

user42 he makes me so crazy i know everyone sees he'll be the death of me?!?!?!?

user43 omg they're in love

pierregasly you kept that quiet

charles_leclerc hah hah

yourusername thanks for keeping our secret pierre 💋

pierregasly of course

user44 pierre knew 😭

charles_leclerc

liked by yourusername, gracieabrams, and 718,635 others

charles_leclerc her through my eyes 😊

tagged: yourusername

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user45 THE CAPTION😭

arthur_leclerc love the song guys ❤️

liked by charles_leclerc, yourusername

user46 i could cry

user47 cant believe they were dating this whole time omg

user48 y/n is a WAG bro

user49 most gorgeous couple in the world

user50 cant wait to see y/n in the paddock more often now

yourusername u r so good for my heart

charles_leclerc i love you

yourusername i love you 🥹

THE END ❤️

[sweetheartsaku]

—HAIKYU!! various ; how deep is your love?

a/n ; [gn!reader] kinda fem implied in kawa's and kuroo's 😓 do yall like the new layout?? c: suggestive if you squint extremely hard in kuroo's .. i honestly dont know if im writing this timeskip or pre timeskip its 3am 😣

— characters : oikawa, osamu, tsukishima, hinata, sakusa, kuroo

part 2 ! ♡ akaashi, kenma, kita, semi, kageyama, suna

jade vine !

tooru oikawa ; SWEET / I THOUGHT YOU WANTED TO DANCE - tyler the creator, brent faiyaz, fana huez

has 'i love you' wars and he MUST win or he will tackle you (affectionate)

takes the BEST candid photos of you and puts so much love into the following insta post. has you as his wallpaper too (please match with him) (he'd also have a highlight just w pics of you😞)

please NEVER do that 'wipe their kiss off' trend because he will actually not talk to you for DAYS and gets all sulky until you apologize. (he will get all cocky all over again)

core memory from his teamates. bae was explaining to his teamates about new volley nerd talk blablabla and they notice his nails painted in a faint pink (for a fun date night, thinking no one will notice)

issei BURSTS out laughing and instantly points it out. now seijoh4 NEVER lets him live it down

always the first person to notice when you use a new shampoo or perfume.

cuddling, (you being the little spoon╰(*´︶`*)╯♡) you can feel his breath hitch when his lips reach your neck

before you could ask why he's stopped inching closer he's already manages to whisper out, "did you start using a new shampoo?" yes. yes you have

do his skincare with him please ! he loves it. he loves when he places you on the bathroom counter and you wrap your legs around his waist, he loves when you're so gentle with the toner, he loves when you graze your delicate fingers over his beautiful long lashes, he loves when you make sure you don't cut him when snipping the face mask so it fits a little more snug, EVERYTHING. (he is sunoo coded)

osamu miya ; good looking - suki waterhouse

loves your tummy SO much. doesn't care about shape or form, he just likes the feeling that you're being fed. squish. or pat. he loves it. have i mentioned he loves your tummy?

when his dad leave the twins at home its always osamu at the stove, please keep atsumu in a 5 mile radius AWAY from the kitchen

SPOON FEEDS YOU. please i need him. on days you're too tired to move a muscle, days where you're too sick to open your eyes, be prepared to feel his hand on the back of your head and one below your chin ready to feed you!! once you've sat yourself up he feeds you so gently... osamu miya i need you

when you're really tired from work, he will send meals to your workplace. if you work at home and sees you barely able to keep an eye open, you will see his hand under a spoon of your favourite meal. he's not the best with it, but he's trying 🥹 he means it with all his heart and hearing you say the food is really warm in your stomach, his heart feels warm too (о´∀`о)

my mans is SNATCHED. slide your hands around his waist, poke it a little do WHATEVER. your hands have probably been on his waist more than his hands on yours.

i think his core is pretty well built. have we seen it in the anime or manga? maybe. but from what i've seen, his physique is very 😳 (a tad bit better than his brother's i fear)

cooking together!!! different recipes each date, basking in each other's presence. its always so fun and the results are always almost flawless!

at one-point y'all were making cupcakes, it was literally osamu baking them and you decorated it.

AND OBVIOUSLY the basic, he would routinely give you handmade onigiri, in different shapes, flavours and whatever you like ✨

kei tsukishima ; the only exception - paramore

kinda scowls at you when you put your hands under his shirt but secretly really loves it so when you slither your hands away he instantly places your hands back and make sure your hands STAY there. bonus points if you have warm body temperature. he likes the feeling of your warm hands on his slightly colder body.

his wardrobe has drastically evolved from muted tones to slightly lighter and vibrant clothing ever since you insisted on getting matching stuff!!

WILL say he is not a jewellery person but collects, keeps and takes care of all the little trinkets you give him DAILY. he has a little sticker on the edge of one of his books and a little moon sticker on the end piece of his sports glasses

he also defineitely has really thick curly blond lashes. you say they are one of his charming points but he gets all flustered. when you insist to put clear mascara on them, he doesn't really look like he has a problem with it 🥹

what could his ahh possibly be listening to with those headphones on so often (real)

sends you playlists at an insane hour that go for insane amounts of time. but i KNOW his taste is immaculate. every song always gives you goosebumps or makes your heart tighten

please do a spotify blend with him (he was gonna ask you, but you beat him to it)(he was shy)

oh AND the shared playlists actually are insane!! so much good music all at once?? crazy yall 😭😭 (wave to earth, cody fry, the smiths, daniel caesar, rex orange county)

shoyo hinata ; intro (end of the world) - ariana grande

honestly, out of all these men HINATA SHOYO is the BEST candidate for taking care of a person except himself. has no limits in his stamina, and will only listen to you when you ask him maybe its time for a break. does he overwork? not necessarily. does he work too hard? yes, in a positive way. please remind him to eat because he will forget sometimes

he will NEVER admit he likes being the little spoon LMAO he finds being vunerable in your arms a tad bit silly, and it bugs him. after a long week of practice games and insisting kageyama and yachi to practice with him the instant he falls on the bed, he finds himself melting into your touch. your voice gets a little more buttery and he loves it, falling asleep instantly

hes probably a hard sleeper too 😭 he wont wake up till he feels your cold hands on his face or the sunbeams from the curtain literally bleed into the sheets and steal its colour

PLEASE STROKE HIS HAIR. he loves it. he absolutely loves it. again, melts into your touch like ice-cream. his heart will feel tight and he has a lil' blush 🥹 whats even more priceless is his lips slightly agape after hes fallen asleep... how can you NOT love this man

one of the only boys on this list who will LET you put little pink bows or style his hair in braids and clips. (if you're imagining timeskip hinata, you have attempted to put a little bow around his bicep but you underestimated its size and it BROKE. gosh what an experience)

DANCES WITH YOU EVERYWHERE!!! omg i love him so much. doesn't care if you have two left feet, he just loves the feeling in his heart when he sees your smile as he spins you around. in the rain, in big empty rooms, in the kitchen, anywhere.

loves the idea of promise rings or little trinkets that ensure he gets to have you forever!!

kiyoomi sakusa ; washing machine - VANISHING GIRL, rosemary fairweather

PLEASE braid this man's hair. 😞 he pretends to despise it and thinks you don't notice when he literally melts under your touch. he feels safe 'nd comfy and hopes it lasts forever, when your hand retracts he has a lil' pout

notices when you've been wearing your favourite hood for a couple days straight, has a little scowl under his mask and throws one of his jackets at you. he only gives you the wind-breakers that are 100% cotton or the ones he just knows you like.

he uses this as an excuse to share his clothes with you. its safe to assume its his love language under-cover!

HE IS SO ASS WITH PDA all you get is him giving you hand sanitizer before eating meals or snacks. its only you though, don't tell him that.

BUT sometimes when he feels like it, he will take your hand and put it HIS pocket so "your hands are always sheltered from germs" now what type of bs is THAT. (you love this bs)

can be snarky. sometimes he gets the slightest eenie meenie miniest bit cocky, and its very noticable. has the ability to be a little bit of a tease but not in a pestering way more like a little smartass way LMAO.

tetsuro kuroo ; never lose me - flo milli

always has his hand in the back pocket of your pants. that was it. thank you for coming to my ted talk. (to feel your butt? no idea.)

tutor sessions always unbearable. either you're too busy staring at his biceps, or you're sighing that he's made a little pop quiz for you!! tell him it sucks please

if he notices it gets a bit too much or overwhelming for you over the week or before study dates, insists to take you out instead (what a gentleman!! kuroo tetsuro come into my life)

extremely consistent with routine. good morning and good night text DAILY no matter how busy he is, he WILL find a way (i like to think its his way or the high way #kingofprovocation /hj). very good at getting the things he wants in a non-manipulative way but with simply logic and brains

yeah as captain hes no. #1 but he is also no. #1 waist CLUTCHER. his hands are always on you somehow even in the slightest way, but never pervy. he just likes having his hands on you! bonus points if you have hip dips, he loves it so much. he finds it as a perfect spot to place his hands on (btw ppl w hipdips yall are BEAUTIFUL!! 🥹)

i feel as he has a possessive side as well. small, but more noticable compared to someone else. will not hesitate to stare someone (or recite chemistry nerd stuff 🙁) down for looking at you a little too long :3

when he sees you post or sees himself in your instagram or tiktok dumps, his heart tightens a bit in the best way possible. when you mention him in the post he only reacts with a heart but he's actually going insane

[thisismeracing]

More than friends | LH44

―Pairing: Lewis Hamilton x fem!reader ―Warnings: curse words, mentions of food, and typos; ―Summary: You're friends with Lewis, but fans don't buy the "just friends" discourse - for them, you and Lewis make the most powerful couple, even if you're not famous. And maybe they're right, maybe you're supposed to be more than friends. (based on this request).

▸ my masterlist | my taglist | patreon guide ▸ support my writing by reblogging, leaving a comment (don’t forget to follow me if you like the piece), or buying me a coffee

yourusername

liked by yourbestie, lewishamilton, and others

yourusername went for coffee/reading with the bestie, but of course, we ended up yapping about everything and only reading two sentences 😁

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angryschumacher they just like me and my bestie except they’re more cute and would make a great couple 👀

grandpierre can you imagine being bestie with lewis freaking hamilton?! 😭

leclerccrown what are you reading, yn?

⤷ yourusername crooked plows by itamar vieira junior! :)

yourbestie can I borrow those shoes for a date this weekend?? 🙏

lewishamilton worst matcha I’ve ever had 🤢

⤷ yourusername youre just not used to the flavors! It was deliciou

⤷ lewishamilton it probably was, but right before you added tons of sugar and what else 🥴

⤷ yourusername shut up 😡

⤷ lewishamilton I just don’t need extra sugar when you’re around, sweetie

⤷ tifosikimi am I sensing some flirting? 👁️🫦👁️

⤷ tiredtyres tifosikimi I don’t think so, me and my bestie banter like this but we consider each other siblings

harrietdirection her hair is so shiny, her skin is so glowy, she’s so humble and simple and sweet and pretty can lewis share her with the fandom pls

lewishamilton

liked by georgerussell63, dualipa, and others

lewishamilton recharging for next weekend 💛

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likedbypierregasly this looks like such a romantic dump, the kind of dump one would post with…I dunno…their girlfriend 👀

biebertsunoda I wanna be her so bad

yourusername 💛

⤷ keepingupwf1 yeah bestie Im at a loss of words too

mickschumacher Angie is questioning me about play dates with roscoe!!

⤷ roscoelovescoco 😍 Is miss Angies too

⤷ yourusername how about tomorrow before media duty??

⤷ mickschumacher sounds great! 🤝

⤷ zhoulovers she’s roscoe’s mom, change my mind

elitebarzal oh to spend a weekend recharging beside lewis and roscoe 😭

zendaya 😍😍😍

yourusername

liked by lilymhe, lewisfan, and others

yourusername productive Friday at work 🤓

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redsainz who choose these boots? I bet it was lewis

oconnected they're so powerful together, you can see bits and bits of the other in them 🩷

mickschumacher glad you enjoyed the haribo! 😌

⤷ yourusername my new fav candy!!! 😌

lewishamilton nice fit 😏

⤷ yourusername you like it? a friend set it up for me 😎

⤷ redsainz told you guys he was to one to piece it together!!!!

bonosmicrophone its the way mick, lily, alex, george, and so on constantly interact with her 🥹🥹

dollarsainz lewishamilton can I date her?

⤷ lewishamilton nah, she’s already taken

⤷ leclerccar WHAT?,mKVNWNCJSJJCJSD

lewishamilton & yourusername

liked by charles_leclerc, landonorris, and others

lewishamilton guess we were always meant to be more ❤️

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yourusername fitting together like the perfect pair of legos 💘 you're forever my best friend, I love you

⤷ lewishamilton I love you forever

⤷ schumickey 😭forever😭my😭best😭friend😭

rizzhou most powerful paddock couple!

yukiyukiyuki everything about these pics gives wholesome heartdly in love vibe 🥹

charles_leclerc finally, guys!!!!! ❤️

georgerussell63 it was about time!

alex_albon lily is asking for another double date (please Yn don’t steal my girl 😭)

⤷ lilymhe too late, babes 😁

mercedesamgf1 😍😍 we’be been rooting for this since the beginning!

⤷ formulainchident even admin!!!!

scuderiaferrari Yn, we already have your special headphones and shirt ready! 🫵❤️

norrisrizz I want what they have, I wanna be her, I wanna be him, I wanna be their dog, I-

────── ⋆🪩 VOICEMAIL: Hi! I hope you guys liked this piece! :D as usual, reblogs and comments are extremely appreciated. don't forget to let me know your thoughts!

If you liked this piece and want early access to new ones and exclusive access to others, subscribe to my patreon!💘

▸ check my main masterlist | patreon guide and my taglist.

taglist: @sachaa-ff @mickslover @mishaandthebrits @fdl305 @iloveyou3000morgan @crimeshowjunkie @saintslewis @carojasmin2204 @chaoticevilbakugo @wondergirl101ks @smiithys @shhhchriss @f1kota @lunnnix @karmabyfernando @crashingwavesofeuphoria @schumacheer @callsign-scully @dearxcherry @elliegrey2803 @peachiicherries @he6rtshaker @therealcap @mehrmonga @the-depressed-fellow @cixrosie @darleneslane @buckybarnessweetheart @nichmeddar @fastcarsandshit @balekanemohafe @jamie2305 @nzygftoji @leclercsluv @graciewrote @alessioayla @littlesatanicassholebitch @barcelonaloverf1life @noncannonships @fanboyluvr @is-just-a @love4lando @woozarts @namgification @formulaal @v1naco @skepvids @khaylin27 @bernelflo @fakehappy27

©thisismeracing ― do not copy, steal, or translate my work; do not repost on a different media platform.

― Reminder: None of the pictures used are mine, they are all from Pinterest and other apps, but the work is, and I do not allow it to be published on a different platform. I would appreciate it if those things could be taken into consideration 💛

[websterss]

CHICKEN AND PASTA — CONRAD HAWKINS

REQUEST: Im a new follower and I must say the Imagines are just so....👌🏼🥹Anyway saw you were writing for Conrad Hawkins. Could you do one where Yn takes care of a patient who has a crush on Conrad. She gets defensive and tells Yn to back off Conrad and Yn shrugs it off. Later the patient was watching Yn and Conrad hug and kiss and she snaps. She waits til yn is alone and she stabs or attacks yn and leaves her to die. As Conrad gets ready to go home he starts to look for Yn but finds her wounded. I'll let you pick the ending. Im such a sucker for angst. 😭 Hope this makes sense 💙☺️ @megafandomsxassemble

WARNING(S): angst, mentions of blood, stab wounds, and knife, mentions of baby loss, crazy grace

WORD COUNT: 5,485

PAIRING: Conrad Hawkins x fem!Reader

A/N: I hope you enjoy it love! Feedback is always welcomed! <33

MASTERLIST

You had looked up when a foam cup was plopped right in front of you. You set your clipboard down as you follow the arm of the culprit. Conrad has his head tilted, a sweet smile gracing your very long morning. “Beautiful.” He compliments your very clearly disheveled state.

You roll your eyes but take the coffee he brought for you. You mouth a thank you before giving him your full attention. “What’s the catch?” You smirk.

Conrad chuckles at your remark. His brown orbs scan your tired features. “There you go again, assuming I have some ulterior motive.” He says, feigning offense. He leans a hip against your desk as he watches you take a drink of the coffee he so graciously retrieved for you. “Can’t I bring my fiance a cup of coffee out of the pure goodness of my heart?”

“You can…but something lies behind those devious eyes.” You squint up at him, swirling the end of your pen in front of his face.

Conrad laughs, his grin wide. He tilts his head, his light curls bouncing lightly. He brings his index finger up, gently pressing your forehead so you’re no longer squinting. “There. Much better.” He teases. He shakes his head, the playful smirk never leaving his features. He crosses his arms, leaning in to get a closer look at your tired state. “Rough night?”

“More like rough morning. Your number one fan is here…again.” A teasing smile begins to form on your face.

Conrad raises an eyebrow at that. He knew exactly who you were talking about. “What is she being admitted for this time?” He says, unable to contain the amused smirk.

You sigh and gesture to the paperwork sitting in front of him. He meets your eye and then turns the clipboard around and begins to read.

Conrad can’t fight the scoff that escapes his lips as he reads through it. The same symptoms as last time: elevated heart rate, high blood pressure, and dizziness, among many other minor symptoms. Every time it was the same. Other than the fractured radius and ulnar, today. Nothing was ever, truly, wrong.

“Broke her arm chasing after her dog…” Conrad shakes his head as he gently sets the clipboard back on your desk. “Nic around?”

“Just missed her. She just finished her double shift.” You shook your head.

Conrad’s eyes widened in surprise, though he didn’t know why. Nic’s determination to overwork herself was no secret. He huffed a heavy sigh, taking a seat on the edge of the desk. “Of course she did…” He mutters under his breath. “You’re with me today.”

“Can already feel my day turning around, but I figured so I checked her vitals and heart already. So you just need to repeat everything I just did, doc.” You chipped with a smile on your face. You gather your things and make your way to Grace’s room. Conrad's number one fan, or rather his stalker as you like to secretly call her.

Conrad rolls his eyes at your comment and follows behind you, his long strides easily keeping pace with yours. “Careful,” He warns, unable to contain his smile, “flattery will get you everywhere.”

The pair of you enter Grace’s room where she is, unsurprisingly, perched on the edge of her bed. Her broken arm is clutched to her chest, a pout on her face. Upon seeing the two of you, her face lights up.

“Dr. Hawkins!” She squeals, waving and making grabby hands in his direction. Conrad sighs, a forced, painfully fake smile on his face as he approaches her to examine her. He casts a sideways look in your direction as if to say ‘Save me’.

“Hi nurse, Y/n.” She makes sure to greet you with a warm welcome.

“Hi Grace, how’s the morphine doing, kicking in a bit I see.” You contain your laughter as you see her more giggly than how she was when she first arrived.

Conrad looks over at you. He has to hide his chuckle as you tease her for her morphine-induced goofy behavior. “So,” He starts. “The dog was too much for you I see?”

“Yes. I don’t think I’m much of a dog person. Any other pets you could recommend for me, Dr. Hawkins?”

Conrad looks over at you.

“You could always try a Guinea Pig. My niece has one. Easy little things to take care of.” You shrug. Grace locks eyes with you, considering your suggestion. She nods then looks back to him.

“Is a Guinea Pig easy to take care of, Dr. Hawkins?”

Conrad hums, pretending to think. He scratches at his chin, pretending as if there is some deep thought going through his head. “A Guinea Pig is very easy to take care of Grace.” He says, a playful smirk growing on his face. “Very easy.”

He turns an expectant look in your direction, his lips twitching to suppress a grin.

“Yes, very easy. A Guinea pig is less likely to cause fractures. No running, no need to train them. Easy as pie.” You breathe out a laugh.

Conrad has to bite the inside of his cheek to stop himself from laughing. He can’t fight the way his eyes gleam at how thoroughly you are enjoying yourself teasing his…fan. “No risk of broken bones chasing them around. Sounds like a good fit for you.”

"I'll have to stop by a pet store later then." She nods. Unlike Conrad, you had a feeling she would stay true to her promise to get the damn rodent. The idea unsettled you just as it did the last time when she bought a dog after he recommended getting one, to keep her company as he lightly put it.

Conrad’s stomach drops at the thought of Grace following through on her promise. He knew she was gullible, but if what you were saying was true and she took his recommendation to heart and bought a dog…he would have to be more careful with what came out of his mouth.

“Maybe…stay away from animals for now?” He suggests, casting a concerned glance your way. "Alright, Grace I'm gonna go ahead and order you an x-ray and an MRI just to be on the safe side. You said you've been experiencing a bit of a headache, you said you hit your head when you fell?"

"Yeah...on concrete, is that bad?" She moves her eyes back and forth from you two. Conrad cast you a glance.

Conrad winces at her casual response. “Well, you’d probably be experiencing something a bit stronger than a minor headache if there was anything truly wrong.” He says as a means to comfort her as she sits at the edge of her bed.

He reaches out, gently prodding at the back of her head. He pulled out a light and had her follow his finger. “How hard did you hit your head?”

"My vision was blurred for a few minutes. I think someone asked if I was okay before I got up, took Ceecee home, and then came straight here." She blinks up at him. "You'll fix me right up though, right, Dr, Hawkins?"

He gives her a nod and a reassuring smile. “You’re in the best of hands.” He reassures her, ignoring the skeptical scoff you let out beside him. “I’ll make sure we get to the bottom of that headache.”

"In the meantime, just wait here, I will be back to reset your bones." You pat her shoulder.

She looks at your hand and then nods. Conrad casts her a wink before exiting with you, not thinking anything more by it.

Conrad takes your elbow, a light tug letting you know that he wants to leave the room. He gives Grace one last comforting smile, "We'll be right back." He said, opening the door and ushering you out.

Once out of the room, Conrad's smile falls from his face and is replaced with a concerned frown. He lowers his voice slightly, so only you can hear him. "She actually bought a dog?"

"Well Dr. Hawkins…when you flash her that dazzling smile and hold her gently, how can she resist doing everything that comes out your damn mouth!" Your smile vanishes as you smack him. "She's getting worse. Okay, this is turning into outright obsessive behavior, and if you don't put a stop to her Conrad, she'll display stalker-like traits."

Conrad flinches at the smack to his chest, a glare tossed right back in your direction. "Not funny." He points at you and the way you emphasized his name like she had.

“What do you suggest I do, hm?” Conrad asks, a hint of irritation in his tone. “Walk up to a patient and tell them to stop getting hurt, to call for another doctor?"

"Well that idea sounds a whole lot better than the Guinea Pig-" You jump away with a laugh when he scoffs and tries to tickle you.

Conrad lunges at you, grabbing a flailing arm and tugging you back in his direction. He takes advantage of your distraction, going straight for your sides, his fingers digging into your ribs. His own smirk grows wider as he hears your laughter fill the hallway.

"Stop, stop, stop!" Your head falls. "I can't breathe."

Conrad stops and grins, but he doesn’t release you. He keeps his arms loosely wrapped around your waist and watches as you struggle to catch your breath. He laughs softly as he watches you lean forward, your head resting against his chest.

“You’re impossible.” He says, his fingers idly rubbing against your side.

"That's improbable to you." You lift your head with a teasing smile.

Conrad groans, rolling his eyes at your quip. He can’t keep the smile off his face, though. His fingers still rubbing against your sides. "Pain in my ass…" He said, but the words lacked any real bite behind them. He leans in as you hum in amusement.

"That so, Dr Hawkins."

Conrad huffs, his chest rising and falling with his laughter. His eyes darken as he looks down at you, his smirk turning more wicked. He leans in further, his face only inches from your own. "Say it again." He says, his voice now a few octaves deeper than normal.

"Dr Hawkins." Your laugh is stifled when he presses his lips to yours in a sweet long kiss.

Conrad hums against your lips, an arm snaking around your waist to drag you closer. He leans back against the wall that the two of you were standing in front of, a hand coming up to cup the back of your neck. He deepens the kiss, a sharp pang of desire striking at his core as he pushes you gently back against the wall.

But before it could escalate any further, your pager goes off. You groan and push him away slightly. "Duty calls." You whine.

Conrad groans at the noise and he steps back, reluctantly tearing his gaze and his arms away from you. He pushes his messy hair back off his forehead, still slightly breathless. He lets his eyes wander over your disheveled form, knowing full well that the two of you would've gotten caught up in that hallway had the pager not interrupted.

He brings a hand up to his own pager in his pocket that went off, shutting it off. "Duty indeed calls." He sighed, his heart still racing. "What would you like for dinner?"

You gasp. "Are you offering to cook?" You hum at the idea.

Conrad laughs and shakes his head at your excitement and enthusiasm for the idea of his cooking. "Don't look so surprised." He remarks, his expression changing to a playful smirk. "Yes, I'll cook tonight. What do you want?"

"Surprise me." You shrug, walking backwards.

Conrad rolls his eyes, though he's smiling as he watches you walk away. He can't help but admire the view, his gaze lingering on your form for just a little too long. "You got mad last time when I did." He calls after you.

"Chicken, with Pasta!" You call out as you reach the corner you need to turn.

Conrad huffs a laugh at the request. "Done!" He calls out to you as he heads in the opposite direction. "Chicken and pasta it is..." He sighs, then laughs to himself.

What you both hadn't realized was the shadow lurking and watching from afar. A scowl replaced her sweet smile moments before when she heard his voice outside her room. Her breathing picks up as she heads back into her room. Grace sits at the edge of her bed and looks down at the fractured bones, broken at a dipped angle. Before she could even think twice about it, she settled them back into place.

The pain was nothing like how betrayed her heart had felt. Conrad had his interest in someone else. You.

-

A few minutes had passed before you had gone to check up on Grace again. To ensure that she was situated with the cast that she would need to wear for a few weeks. "Grace?" You announced yourself, as you peered down at your clipboard again. When you looked up, your heart dropped upon seeing her bed empty. It was only when the door slammed behind you that you grew scared. "Grace?" You looked at her and then at the knife she held in her left hand, how she came into possession of it you hadn't known.

"You kissed him…" She muttered softly. "I didn't realize he had his eyes set on someone else. I thought what we had was just between us. I'm so stupid!" You flinch at her exclaim.

Your eyes widened when you saw the tears in her eyes. The grip she held on the hospital knife was tight, her knuckles almost turning white. "Grace, no, listen to me!" You quickly moved to try and reach out to her but stopped short when she snapped.

"Stay back!" You held your hands up in surrender, holding in the sharp inhale you desperately wanted to take. "You took him from me!"

"I didn't know..." She looks up at you. "If I had known how much you liked him. I wouldn't have kissed him." You play along with her in hopes she won't hurt herself, or you. It was only then that you realized her bones were settled back into place. "Grace what happened to your arm did you- did you put them back into place?" You were shocked.

Grace's eyes flit down to her arm, a frown on her face. "I needed to feel something…" She said softly. "I needed to feel something other than the pain in my heart."

She looks up at you again, her grip on the knife never faltering. "Why was it you, huh? Why not me? What do you have that I don't? I go out of my way to have him examine me, and spend time with me. I was this close to getting him alone today, but then I saw him kiss you..."

"I ask myself that every day, Grace. I don't know why he chose me. Things just happen, people come into your life and you go from there with them."

She scowls at that response, her eyes narrowing into a glare. "You're around him too much…" The knife trembles in her grip. "That's why he's been distracted lately."

She took a step closer, and you instinctively found yourself stepping back in response. Her glare darkened, now laced with jealousy and possessiveness. "I wonder…" She says slowly, almost as if she's contemplating her next words. "Maybe if you weren't around so much anymore, I could finally have my chance…"

"Grace, please don't!" Your plea is ignored. She continues to step closer to you, her eyes glued on you and the way you flinch away from her.

"Why not?" She presses. "You get to be around him, you get to kiss him. It's not fair. He's supposed to be mine! I should be the one that gets to kiss him!"

"If you hurt me, Grace. Conrad will never forgive you. He won't want to kiss you."

Grace's bottom lip trembled at your words. It's clear that your words are getting to her, her eyes filling with tears and her gaze averting down to the floor. She knows that you're right. But her jealousy and obsession over Conrad was too strong. Her head lifts and she looks at you again, her grip on the knife tightening. "I don't care…" She whispers, her voice now trembling, and before you know it the end of the knife had met your abdomen, and then your chest. "If I can't have him, neither will you." She lowers you to the ground gently, caressing your hair as you wheeze for air.

"Grac-" You muster before, she gets up and leaves the room.

Grace was gone as quickly as she came, leaving you in a quickly darkening room as the edges of your vision slowly started to blacken. You hear a faint 'excuse me' in the distance, then another voice saying to go up the elevator, but they all turn muffled as you feel your consciousness slowly slip away.

-

"I'd probably run a CT Scan. Make sure we're not dealing with any internal bleeding-"

"Dr. Hawkins..." Conrad and Devon looked up in time to see Grace stop a few feet away from them. Both Conrad and Devon's eyes widened when they saw the blood on her shirt. Conrad's breath caught in his throat in his own wave of panic, but he forced himself to remain focused, to remain calm.

Conrad put down the clipboard Devon had given him and put his hands out cautiously. The two main things that caught his attention were the blood on her shirt and left hand and the fact her bones didn't appear to look broken on her right arm especially since there was no cast on it either. "Hi, Grace...You okay? Wanna tell me what happened?"

"I'm better now seeing you." She smiled earnestly, though hesitation still arose behind her eyes as she realized she had an audience.

Conrad forced a smile onto his face, glancing briefly in Devon's direction, signaling to the crash cart discreetly. He took a few steps forward, keeping a safe distance from her, but still close enough that he could reach her if he needed to. "That…That's good to hear, Grace." He said slowly. "But I was referring more to the blood on your clothes. Grace, who's blood is that? I won't be mad if you tell me."

Grace shook her head. "You will. She said you wouldn't kiss me if I hurt her. I don't want you to be mad at me."

Conrad's heart dropped at her response, though his expression didn't give it away. "…You didn't." He muttered, and it was more of a statement than a question. He took another few steps forward, his eyes boring into hers. “Who told you that, Grace?” Conrad asked, his voice now taking on a slightly lower tone. "Did you accidentally hurt someone? Someone you didn't mean to hurt. You can tell me I won't get mad." His tone was soft again, his eyes still focused on her. The gears were already turning in his head on who her victim was but he didn't want it to be true. "But I need you to tell me who's blood that is, Grace."

"I'll tell you, b-but you have to kiss me first. She said you wouldn't and I want to prove her wrong."

Conrad was tempted to grab her and shake her, to demand answers. But he knew that wasn't the answer. He kept his cool and took another step forward, so he was now directly in front of her and within reaching distance. "Okay," He said slowly, his eyes searching her face. "You want a kiss first, I'll kiss you."

"You will." Her eyes lightened with hope.

Conrad swallows the lump in his throat and slowly steps closer, bringing a hand up to cup the side of her face. He leans in, pausing for a moment. His hand brushed back a strand of her hair as she gazed at him like he hung the stars in her sky. He stalls and presses his head against her as he watches Devon come in from behind her. A sedative in his hands. Conrad tries once more hoping she'll open up about your whereabouts. "Where is she, Grace?" He whispered.

"I don't like pasta very much, but maybe we can get takeout sometime." Is as much as she lets out before the syringe is plunged into the vein on her neck.

Conrad watches as Grace's eyes widen and slowly glaze over. A moment later her body goes slack, and he catches her before she can fall. He sighs, running a hand through his hair as he watches her body drop into a deep slumber. The realization settles, how Grace had been listening to the conversation you both had been having. You both hadn't been far from her room either. Devon appears at his side, a nervous look on his face. "Conrad, what the hell just happened?" Devon questions, checking Grace's pulse. "Conrad!" He yells after him as he sees him begin to take off into a run.

"Start prepping an O.R. now! Page Mina and possibly AJ! Page anyone to floor 3 now!" Conrad doesn't wait for a response. Devon ordered a few nurses to watch over her, giving orders on where to take her. Before taking off after Conrad.

"Conrad!"

"It's Y/n's blood!" Devon's face pales as he tries to keep up with him.

-

Conrad pushes through the doors, cursing under his breath as he sprints down the halls of floor 3. Fear and adrenaline pump through his veins, his heart thundering in his chest.

Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay…please. His thoughts chanted as he reached Grace's room.

Conrad doesn't think twice before bursting into the room. He chokes back a sob as he sees you in a puddle of your own blood. He acts fast checking for your pulse. "Baby hey, can you hear me?"

"We need a gurney and crash cart, now! Some gauze!" Devon orders to anyone listening in the halls. "Conrad, what the hell is happening, who was the girl?"

"Her name's Grace she comes in twice a month to see me."

"To see you?"

"Y/n thinks she's obsessed with me. Turns out she was right. Last month Grace had mentioned how lonely she felt living in her apartment. Now I'm starting to realize she probably meant other forms of company. I suggested she get a dog…"

"She bought a dog didn't she...oh god!"

"Y/n, baby, can you hear me!" Conrad continued patting your face. "Grace came in this morning, she broke her hand chasing after the suggested dog. I didn't think- I should've realized! Where's that damn crash cart!" Conrad yells out angrily.

A scowl takes over his face as he checks for any other wounds, but all he can see is the deep stab wound in the side of your stomach and on your chest. The nurses arrive wheeling along a gurney and a crash cart. Conrad snaps out of his thoughts and focuses on the situation at hand, grabbing the gauze from one of the nurses and pressing it firmly to your bleeding wounds.

"Damnit, baby, just hold on okay? Keep fighting." He muttered, eyes trained on your face.

He doesn't wait for the nurses to transfer you to the gurney, instead, he picks you up himself, holding you to his chest as he carefully lays you down on the gurney. Devon and the rest of the staff stand off to the side, watching as Conrad moves around you, keeping a firm grip on the gauze on the wounds as the nurses wheel you out into the hallway and towards the E.R.

-

"She was stabbed. Wound to her chest, and to her abdomen."

"Her pulse is barely there."

"She's in v-tech," Irving announced as he looked up at the monitor.

"Lost a pulse!"

"Someone get the defibrillator."

"They're gone we don't have one." Ellen reminded them.

"It's her heart..." Conrad was sure Grace had stabbed you right where she knew it would hurt you.

"We need to set up an OR now, we're losing her!" Conrad insisted urgently.

"Do we even have a functioning OR?"

"We'll put one together!" Bell and Kit said.

"Call staff back in, now!"

They began wheeling you to the OR when a wheeze and a cough broke out from your unconscious state. Blood spilled past your lips onto your oxygen mask.

"She's haematemesis!" Conrad exclaims. "Hold on for me baby, stay with us! She's choking on her own blood, she's bleeding internally!"

"Conrad we got her from here." Mina reassured as they crossed passed the red line he couldn't walk past.

Conrad reluctantly backs away from you, letting them take over and wheel you away. He stands just before the red line, a hand coming up to rub his face as a mixture of emotions fills him - guilt, worry, anger, and fear. He feels a hand on his shoulder, and he looks over to see Kitt's face etched with concern.

"What can I do?" She questions, her grip on his shoulder tightening.

"Call my dad and her sister. They need to get here now!"

Kitt silently nods at his request, and Conrad hears her calling someone as he turns to stare at the double doors you were just wheeled behind, disappearing from his sight. The only thing he could do now was wait. He looks at his hands behind sliding down to the floor. Various flashes and reminders of your voice and the conversations you had, ran through his mind, along with the ones that ran a chill through his spine.

Beautiful What’s the catch? Can’t I bring my fiance a cup of coffee out of the pure goodness of my heart? You can…but something lies behind those devious eyes. In the meantime, just wait here, I'll be back to reset your bones.Well Dr. Hawkins…when you flash her that dazzling smile and hold her gently, how can she resist doing everything that comes out of your damn mouth! Well, that idea sounds a whole lot better than the Guinea Pig- Stop, stop, stop! I can't breathe. You’re impossible. That's improbable to you. Pain in my ass… That so, Dr Hawkins. What would you like for dinner? Are you offering to cook? Yes, I'll cook tonight. What do you want? Surprise me. You got mad last time when I did. Chicken, with pasta!

You will. She said you wouldn't kiss me if I hurt her. I don't want you to be mad at me. I don't like pasta very much, but maybe we can get takeout sometime.

A sob rattled through him as he brought his palms up to his head. Hoping and praying you'd make it through. It wasn't long before he moved up to watch in on your surgery. The entire operation felt like never-ending hours.

-

He hadn't known how long he had sat in his chair. He was just waiting for the aftermath to finally hit him. And it had, as soon as Kitt walked in after some time, letting the door shut behind her. She stood there for a moment contemplating how to gather her words.

"Just give it to me straight..." Conrad looked up at her.

"She lost a lot of blood and she was down for a long time. We won't know her neurological status until we wake her up. They're moving her to the ICU."

Conrad nodded at this newfound information. He broke down again when her gentle hand touched his shoulder.

"There's one more thing..."

Conrad's entire body went stiff. He knew whatever else Kitt had to tell him was either really good or extremely bad. He silently nodded for her to continue, mentally bracing himself for the next words that came out of her mouth. Conrad lifted his head slowly. His brows furrowed as Kitt sat down beside him. She grabbed his hands.

"Come on, give it to me straight here." He urged her, the suspense killing him.

"Y/n was pregnant."

Conrad's heart dropped to his stomach and he was positive someone just dumped a bucket of ice water on him. He stares at Kitt in disbelief, unsure of whether he heard her right. His chest ached and all of the air was knocked out of his lungs as he sat there stunned, staring at her.

"Was?" He whispered, his voice cracking.

Kitt shook her head, disheartened. "She lost it."

Conrad felt as if he was going to be sick. He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair as he took in a shaky breath.

"How far along was she?" He managed to get out.

"She hadn't told you yet did she?" Kitt inhales. "S-She was about 18 weeks along from what we could tell…I'm so sorry Conrad."

Conrad's breath hitched at the response, and he struggled to hold his emotions together. He gripped the arms of the chairs, his knuckles beginning to turn white. The room was beginning to spin and the news hit him like a ton of bricks. He took a moment to collect himself before looking at Kitt again.

"18 weeks," He repeated, unable to believe it. "And I didn't even know?"

"You still have her Conrad. If I know Y/n, she's a fighter, she'll pull through her recovery."

Conrad nodded at Kitt's words, trying to find comfort in them, but the pain he felt was almost unbearable. He felt responsible for not paying closer attention to you and to your behavior. He had overlooked the fact that you hadn't been feeling well due to the added stress. He should have caught the hints.

"I should have…" He began to say, but the words caught in his throat. "I should've listened to her…I should have realized sooner I-" A sob broke out of him. He clung to Kitt as she consoled him into her arms. Shushing him and saying everything was going to be okay.

After Kitt calmed him down, she left to give him a few moments alone. As he sat there, staring at the wall. Images of you and his unborn child filled his thoughts. He tried to imagine a life with you and your little one. He imagined teaching them how to walk and talk, tucking them into bed, holding your swollen belly, and feeling their kick. He imagined the life of fatherhood.

As he sat there, a wave of anger and determination washed over him. He needed to see you. He needed to see you, to feel you. To hold you in his arms and never let you go.

Taking a deep breath, Conrad stood up and slowly made his way to the ICU. The halls were eerily quiet as he walked through them, the sound of his footsteps echoed off the walls. When he reached the ICU room, he stopped and peered in through the door. He saw you lying in bed, surrounded by machines and tubes. Your face was pale and your chest slowly rising and falling in a steady rhythm.

He let out a shaky breath and leaned his head forward, letting it gently rest on the wall. He closed his eyes and silently willed himself to remain calm. He couldn't break down in front of anyone else, not here. He took in a few more deep breaths and slowly began to regain control of his emotions. As he stood there, his mind racing with thoughts, the silence around him felt deafening. He wanted nothing more than to have you crack a joke just to put him at ease.

"Hey baby, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere anytime soon okay." Conrad sat down on the chair by your bed, his hand grasping yours gently and his eyes studying your features. Everything felt so familiar - his hand wrapped around yours, your skin, your hair, all of it. He felt a small wave of relief wash over him, knowing you were at least here, right in front of him. Slowly, he brought your hand up to his lips, pressing a soft kiss against it. "When you wake up, I'm taking you home once you're allowed to be discharged. I'll cook you anything you want okay? I'll cook you chicken and pasta for the rest of our lives if that’s what you want, cause I know it's your favorite. Anything you want...you name it, baby." He chuckles lightly to himself but breaks down once more. Tears fall down his face onto your sheets as he tightens his hold on your hand.

"I'm here," He whispered, his voice barely audible. "I'm right here."

[xzinbdg]

oh dad? idk

synopsis: yn as a single mother never really wanted to look for the father it was just a one time thing at a party and she was doing alright by herself but ever since her daughter turned four she started asking questions that even she doesn't know the answer to.

as soon as you texted sunghoon your next step had to be telling haru what's going to happen. the only problem was that you weren't sure how to approach the situation. haru was a smart little girl but that didn't change the fact that she was only 4 years old. would she understand what you're trying to say? well no matter what you still had to tell her. you made your way to the living room where your daughter watched the tv.

- hi baby

- hi mommy - the little girl smiled upon seeing you

- there's something mommy has to tell you so please focus on mommy okay? - haru nodded and shifted her attention towards you.

- there's someone very special that you will meet today, it's your daddy - haru's smile grew as she listened to your words

- daddy? - she said happily.

- yes, so let's start getting ready okay? - you said smiling and in a minute the little girl was already running to her room to pick the prettiest outfit.

to say that sunghoon was nervous was an understatement. as he started getting ready his mind went blank for a minute. what if she doesn't like me? what if she cried because I wasn't there for her when she was growing up? then his mind went even further "what if im a bad dad?" he quickly tried to get rid of those thoughts and finish getting ready.

as your car reached the parking lot your heart started speeding up.

- mommy are we here?

- yes honey - you couldn't help but smile at your excited daughter.

sunghoon was already waiting at a table for you two. nervous as ever looking at all the people coming in hoping to see your face quickly. and finally he sees you and the little girl holding your hand looking around. he got up and waved to you. seeing him you signal your daughter that it's her father, and their eyes meet. sunghoon doesn't even realize that he's crying until you ask him what's wrong.

- ah it's alright, i guess the emotions kinda got to me - he says wiping his tears and crouching down to the little girl now hiding behind you because of shyness.

- hello haru - sunghoon says - i'm your daddy - he sends her a smile and she smiles back.

- hi daddy - she looks up to you and you signal her to hug her dad which she excitingly does and sunghoon hugs her back immediately. the three of you enjoyed nice dinner with your daughter asking sunghoon a ton of questions that he was more then happy to answer.

- should we go get some ice cream? of course if your mom says yes - both of them looking at you in anticipation.

- let's go - you smiled.

you have to admit that the sight in front of you was something you had secret dreams about. it's not like you had troubles with haru by yourself but seeing her with her dad was a happy sight. and you're glad that she likes him which did kind of surprise you. haru was always very shy in front of strangers and it took a long time for her to open up but with sunghoon she was very open from the start. maybe it's because he's her dad?

chapter 10 - hello

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author's note: they met 🥹 ngl i kinda felt emotional writing this... 😭💕 yns last tweet 👀

genre: smau, crack, strangers to lovers, parents au

pairing: sunghoon x mother!reader

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