#im not kaii g sense i know im incoherent but i dont even talk to my roommates anymore snd no one except ppl at home checks in on me when i
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pepprs · 5 years ago
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fuckin hate this shit. not to whatever but i want to go home
#ive been sitting in my room all weekend and im terrified to reach out and ask anyone to hang out. and i already did ask my one friend but sh#she left me on read?? and the other one is in london and i should hahe gone on thwt fucking trip instead of sitting here and rotting all#weekend and now im so miserable and the entire weekend is gone. what a fucking waste. and everyoneslike if u dont checknon ppp theyll think#u dont like them and like. god i am just convinced im annoying and burdensome so not reachijg out is a me thing not a them thing but then wh#what if its the same for them and. GOD im not making any sense. but injust feel so trapped and gridlocked. this bedroom is a fucking cell an#and time is just passing outside and i could totally go into town on my own but mom scared me out of it now and like. fuck. fuck fuck fuck#im trapped everywhere i turn and im just tired of it. im just distracting myself and trying to waste rime and now its getting dark#and i just. cant take care of myself cant get around myself to socialize cant stop being anxious and depressed all the fucking time. i spent#so much fucking time and money to get myself here and all im doing is burning it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! this place is beautiful but its hard to#be here. i miss hone. i miss feeling like i matter and belong. having something i know im meant to do and peoppe i know im meant to hang out#with. and my parents are pissed at me for hiding and its like that on top of everything ekse is so unhelpful. a Nd what the fuck am i gonna#put ib my oittle bewsletter.... like lol yeah i hid in my roommthe entire fucking week hope ur riveted by all the scenery and magic here idk#im not kaii g sense i know im incoherent but i dont even talk to my roommates anymore snd no one except ppl at home checks in on me when i#* despite the fact that i have repeatedly said i am anxious and this is a lot for me and all that. people here dont care about me. they dont#im trying to be kind and brave and i just. im giving up. i have given up. i just am so sad. i just want to go home or be home or feel it#and i dont i dont i dont. 4 more months of this shit i cant do it i cant i cant. i cant#purrs#brighton
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