#im not just talking about astarion btw hes just the most recent example | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

werejelly · 11 months

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I was talking about this with a friend but there's like. Different types of vampires - Theres classic horrific ones, usually having more bat traits and are monster-y - Theres the classic movie ones with the capes, pale skin, elf-like, still pretty undead with claws and shit and kinda monstery - And then theres modern vampires that are just kinda. Humans with two long canine fangs. I feel like they were selectively bred to have all their monster traits removed, kinda like people with pugs. These are also the most common in modern day.

#wobble noises #ive seen upticks where people think vampires are like the sexiest monster but almost always mean like #human with fangs type #Which like. Ok they have issues and interesting complexes and I can understand that #but if you wanna claim to be a monsterfucker why are going going for the most tame human-like version #im not just talking about astarion btw hes just the most recent example #edward cullens is another example #ACTUALLY IM BLAMING THAT MAN FOR EVERYTHING #THE UPTICK IN VAMPIRE ROMANCE NOVELS AFTER HIM WAS INSANE #but they were ALL just humans with a dark secret #and not like. some bat monster thing disguised as a human #this was also brought by #I watched van helsing with the bestie the other day #and like. They have monster forms #I was throwing my balls off all the fucking walls and howling like a dog because they were SO cool #but also so much sexier than their human forms and i was like oh i get why people like vampires now #but nooo actually people dont care for creature monster things they want an unfortante man #And I was also why people werent making FUCKED UP vampires anymore #I THINK THEY SHOULD #make some fucking #shape of water fucking thing with a fucking pale beastly bat leech #now THATS some good shit!!!#this also just be that I find werewolves ALWAYS more hotter and monster-like than vampires any day #thats my vampire opinion i guess #probably constroversal

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