#im not exactly. doing very good at being an ANP.
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If i had to make a guess I'd say im probably going to be at Very least stopped from fronting soon
#im not exactly. doing very good at being an ANP.#whatevers going on with my memories of what i was clearly formed to endure isnt ideal and#whatever barrier is there is getting very fucking shaky#its basically all i can think about 👍 not even in my usual conditioned thoughtlines way#if its not agonizing over the void in my memory where i know Something happened#its the redroom stuff or irlV#and the only general mercy i get from it is returning to my baseline of constantly thinking abt it happening again#im tired i think its obvious im tired i really only just got out. in January.#but its been 12 years. in less than that Hal had to reconfigure himself atleast 3 times#but ive never changed That dramatically outside of choosing different faces#reading the augury#ive gotten bad to the point it drew out that fragment. i dont think that was. Meant. to happen. The memories its holding#havent leaked through as far as im aware but the raw emotion Is so its only a matter of time i think#we cant do this right now things were Just getting better
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