#im not even confident that that is little in Spanish- im pretty sure the rest of the sentence is correct tho

[aew-kun-age-regression]

Tu Hablas Español -🌀

Ehhh

Yo hablo un pequeño Español.?

I have been learning Spanish but I am not very good yet.

[gloomyluvr]

FALL IN LOVE THROUGH THE NIGHT

in which y/n and miles say their first i love you’s

fem!reader x (either) miles morales

fluff

warnings!: “wifebeater” is used to describe a piece of clothing (so no one takes it wrong 😭)

based off this ask

a/n: guys this was so sickening to write cuz its literally my own personal experience. but tbh its such a cute little moment that i think would def happen with miles. i listened to west savannah by isaiah rashad ft. sza while writing this and i think it fits the vibe so maybe give it a listen :) this one is also pretty short! as always, written with spanish speaking reader in mind!

masterlist

“what do you wanna watch?” you asked as you laid on the reclined couch in miles’ living room. summer break had finally started, and the first thing on your bucket list was a sleepover with your boyfriend. mamá morales had only agreed to the sleepover because you and miles were a new couple.

he first noticed you at visions. you shared a couple classes and at first you guys didn’t really talk. but this year, you guys were assigned as partners in a class and hit it off from there. a couple months later, miles mustered up the confidence to ask you on a date. now a month and a couple weeks later, here you guys are.

“lo que tú quieras.” miles answered from his room. 

“hm, alright. what about the conjuring? not too scary but also not boring.” 

“um are you sure? you don’t wanna watch a comedy or something?” miles came out with blankets and pillows for the two of you. miles finally settled next to you as the movie started, he kept a distance between you guys so as to not make you uncomfortable. truth be told, you wanted him closer but you also didn’t want him to be uncomfortable.

“im pretty sure. are you scared?” you asked, noticing miles hesitance. 

“no!” he quickly defended himself, “just making sure you can handle it.” miles put his arms behind his head and crossed his legs.

“mhm, sure.” you giggled and clicked on the movie. miles moved to lay on his side.

all was well until the first jumpscare. miles screamed in your ear and hid his face in your back. his arm pulling you close to him. you looked back and laughed at him.

“that wasn’t even scary!”

“yes it was! what are you talking about!” miles defended himself. 

“you’re such a baby!” you laughed once again before looking back at the tv. when miles realized he was against you he quickly pulled away keeping his distance. you turned to face him completely, and were faced with his chest. he was wearing a black wife beater, so you could see the definition in his figure. you finally looked up at him, and he looked at you.

“you can cuddle with me, miles. i don’t mind.” you whispered.

“are you sure?” he whispered back, clearly nervous.

“mhm.” you turned back to face the tv. you took his hand and wrapped it around your waist. now that he had your permission, miles scooted closer to you so he could spoon you. 

his body heat immediately enveloped you. you rested your arm on top of the one that he had around your waist. you could feel his breath against your neck, and you could only smile at the way it tickled. you looked back, once again making eye contact.

“i love you,” he whispered. your eyes widened and miles’ heart dropped to his ass. he sat up as to make some space between you guys, “i’m so sorry! i shouldn’t have cross your bound-”

“miles!” you cut him off.

“what!”

 “i love you too.” you smiled. miles finally relaxed, and you pulled him closer to you, going back to cuddling. you looked back again, and smiled at him. miles quickly kissed your cheek, slightly embarrassed. he smiled back at you, before turning his attention to the movie. there was no way you were ever letting this boy out of your life. 

[a-little-slice-of-fandom]

A) hi how ya doing? B) I miss you C) can you analyze anything of Aragon? Thank you :)

Hey anon! I’m doing good ❤️❤️❤️ thanks so much for asking! I hope you’re doing well too!

Aragon is really interesting to me, because her song is kind of like the bohemian rhapsody of six. Very few people will say that it’s their favourite, but everyone will instantly sing along because it’s so catchy! Plus, it’s a great song to follow ex-wives with. It keeps the energy up and introduces the audience to the plot of the show.

I will say this until the day I die: while I would love if more songs were as scathing as say AYWD...you could never start with those songs. It’s too much too quickly. You need the more catchy, light-hearted songs of Ex-Wives, No Way and DLUH to start with because it helps get the audience invested in the show and the plot as a whole. Six, first and foremost, will always need to work dramatically. That’s why the old, more openly bitter No Way was changed to something a little more light-hearted.

The first thing that always comes to mind when I think of Aragon is regal. She’s the queen who was married to Henry for 24 years and was a Spanish princess as well. She’s the refined, confident queen who knows her own worth and honestly? I get the vibe she just wants a little bit of respect from the other queens. While some people characterise Aragon as rather cold, I honestly don’t get that? The show portrays Aragon as a very loyal person despite all that Henry put her through, and she clearly cares for Mary and also, to a lesser extent, Parr as her god daughter (remember she calls Howard “the least relevant Katherine”...meaning she does see Parr as relevant.) and she often refers to other queens as “babe” even though she was just arguing with them five seconds earlier (harking on the idea of forgiveness, something I think Aragon is very good at in the show!). Plus, while there’s only one line referring to Mary, Aragon is always so protective of her and warm to her. In the album, Renee’s “aw, hi baby!” is the most adorable and heartwarming part of the song and it’s clear she adores her daughter, while the “oh, you don’t remember?” in the live versions is so protective of her baby. It’s honestly something we don’t discuss enough. Moreover, Aragon’s song is one of the most energetic, but she has her earnest moment of pleading as well, along with her undisputable strength of refusing to back down and accept Henry’s lies. She is also incredibly passionate when talking about something she loves or defending herself when she has to (which make sense! This was the woman who rode with an army wearing armour while pregnant. Aragon was not to be messed with!).

I personally disagree with people who try and claim that Toby and Lucy wrote Aragon as the “angry” queen because she never truly gets to the levels of boleyn or seymour (yes there’s the miscarriage argument where she does raise her voice but like...are we ignoring Seymour’s “boohoo Mary had the chickenpox” or the fact that Boleyn is also shouting in that argument??? And she usually goes louder than Aragon???) and yet she’s so often defined by that trait even though other queens share it and are even more extreme. And yes, Im fully aware of why certain people characterise aragon in this way and I’m so annoyed that even though we continually call out the fact that’s it’s problematic, it continues to happen. However Aragon does have flaws like every good character should. Aragon just won’t try and listen to the other queens. She refuses to accept that Boleyn or Seymour might have had a worse time than her. Now I personally never got the feeling that Aragon blames the other queens for anything. Her feelings are directed at Henry. Notice in now way she talks about how henry is “running around with some pretty young thing” and she refers to him having “one son with someone who don’t own a wedding ring”. Those people? They’re clearly supposed to be Boleyn and Bessie, two people who are actually on stage at the time. But Aragon doesn’t take an easy shot at either of them in her song. She doesn’t say their name or call them out or try and involve them in her song. Contrast this with DLUH where Boleyn grabs Aragon, forces her to be front and centre in this verse and then insults her constantly (“three in the bed” = airing Aragon’s and Henry’s ✨ intimate issues ✨ with the entire world while “Don’t be bitter, cause I’m fitter” and “he doesn’t want to bang you, somebody hang you” are both pretty self explanatory). I think it’s absolutely key that Aragon doesn’t blame Boleyn or Bessie or direct any misplaced feelings towards them in no way or the show. Her (very justified) feelings of anger and betrayal are (generally) directed at Henry. And that’s something so many people ignore! And I personally wish more people would be like Aragon in this regard in the real world. I don’t know if other people agree with me, but it’s your boyfriends/husbands job to not cheat on you, not someone else’s. I do know some people think that Aragon is slighting Boleyn and Bessie in that verse but if we’re sticking to tudor ideals, Aragon not mentioning them by name (in essence keeping their “dignity” and “honour” intact) would be the kinder thing to to. (Note I’m only saying this with Tudor ideals in mind. I also think Aragon fully knows that Bessie was 13 when Henry started making advances on her and again, refuses to blame Bessie for what happened because she knows she’s a victim).

However...Aragon doesn’t ever try and listen to other queens and will insult them if she has to. She (along with the other queens like Boleyn and Seymour) gets more and more defensive and petty as the show continues. However, she never gets to the same levels of hard hitting insults has say Boleyn. But I mean...Aragon was a queen who went through so much in her lifetime and never was able to really talk about it. Yes, she resisted Henry trying to get their marriage annulled, and she was one of the strongest women at the time, but she couldn’t deal with her emotions the same way that we can today. She never got to told Boleyn to go away or leave her alone. She never got to bad mouth Henry because he was the king. She was, first and foremost, a lady, and she was expected to act in a certain way all of her life. And now that she’s reincarnated in modern days, she doesn’t have to do all of those things. She can be annoyed and let it show, she can tell Boleyn all those things she wanted to do back in the day. Some actresses even lean into the idea that it’s sort of cathartic for Aragon to FINALLY just say what she wants to say without having to worry on how it would reflect on her as queen. Mind you, I still think that Aragon considers how her words would reflect on her (much more than any other queen) but she definitely has more wiggle room within the show than she did during her reign.

In addition, while the fandom also like to reduce Aragon to obsessed with her religion, I actually really like how her relationship with Catholicism is portrayed in the show. While I do concede that Aragon’s faith is sometimes reduced to the butt of the joke, that’s not always the case and I personally really enjoy how Aragon seems to gain a lot of strength from her religion, instead of it holding her back or hindering her. While I do understand why so many characters in media struggle with their religion or find it suffocating (my relationship with Catholicism is...fragile at the best of times), but I genuinely love this idea that Aragon’s faith is what guides her and gives her inner strength in times of need. I mean,,,when she’s pleading to Henry during now way, the music slows to something that sounds more like a gospel song, Aragon is kneeling with her hands clasped and there's bright white light around her (i also vaguely remember something that looks like a crucifix behind her as well? But I'm not 100 percent sure on that). At the time where Aragon is most vulnerable and needs to find inner strength and wants guidance...she turns to her religion and that's seen as a very positive thing!!! The same with Aragon's verse in Sox. Moving to a nunnery and finding friends there is something that's now postive and liberating instead of being stuffy and boring and restrictive like nunnery are often portrayed as in media. (yes I know that's also a play on Henry wanting to send Aragon into the nunnery after their divorce but I do think that there’s no malicious religion-basing in Six is a nice touch that’s often overlooked).

Finally, Aragon’s costume is quite important to her character. It is one of the more feminine outlines (especially the updated version on broadway) and I do think it’s an inadvertent issue that the queens with the more stereotypical feminine costumes are more catty whereas the more stereotypical androgynous or masculine outfits (aka Parr and Cleves) are often the voices of reason, but I don’t think that’s intentional or is intended to comment on anything. It’s just a coincidence. However, the gold of Aragon’s outfit obviously symbolises her love, courage and passion, along with indicating her status as a noble. While yes the rest of the queens were all noble in some way before they married Henry, Aragon was a Spanish princess and the daughter of two incredibly powerful monarchs. She was probably the highest standing out of any of the queens, and her costume reflects that. I also think that her wearing gold to flaunt her status could be her trying to make up for the years between her marriages to Arthur and Henry (where she didn’t have many provisions made for her as far as I know) and also the last few years of her life. (I’ve seen differing reports on how Aragon was provided for after Henry divorced her, with her claiming that she was living in poverty while others state she got 3000 pounds. If anyone has any confirmation then let me know). Either way, her wanting to flaunt her status after her reincarnation by wearing lots of bright gold makes total sense. I’ve also seen a few people say that the bust on Aragon’s costume is the most historically accurate but I can’t confirm that, although if it is then that’s a really nice touch.

Well this took ages, but it was fun to finally get to analyse stuff again AND do it on a queen who doesn’t get discussed very much!!! Aragon often gets reduced to “catholic” or “angry” within this fandom, even though she is just as complex as any other character within the show but she just expresses things in very different ways. And that’s okay! This whole show is about how women (and NB folk!) are different and do have different experiences and do express things differently and have different personalities and that’s okay! We should celebrate our differences.

[lunnanunna]

Jae-in’s Relationship with X1

X1 12th Member AU:

A/N: Sorry it took so long to post! I have been drowning in school work and I just started my new job. But I’m trying to update more. As always, requests are open! I’d love to get ideas on what to write for Jae-in and the boys.

Seungwoo:

These two have known each other for a few years now. Seungwoo’s older sister was a member of Secret under TS Entertainment, and she often, along with her other members, invited Jae-in along for outings, seeing as she was the only girl in B.A.P. So Jae-in often was invited to spend time with Sunhwa and her parents and siblings, i.e Seungwoo. They slowly became close friends, but lost contact as the years went by and Seungwoo debuted and Sunhwa left the company. Now that they have reconnected, these two are joined at the hip. Seungwoo looks out for her, just like he looks out for all his members, but also knows that she can hold her own. They are workout buddies and spend most of their time parenting the kids. He relies on her the most, due to her being in the industry for so long, and always being calm and collected. Since these two are very cuddly, they’ll cling to others, or each other (once the other members get sick of being clung to). These two picked each other as roommates due to having such similar likes and interests. Jae-in really loves Snoopy and the Peanuts gang, so she smiles whenever Seungwoo is called Snoopy and has a tendency of stealing some of the Snoopy fan gifts that he gets. He doesn’t really mind.

Seungyoun:

Normally, Jae-in is very quiet and to herself, but if you add a Seungyoun to the mix, then you have hell. These two get very loud, very fast. She’s an unofficial member of Team Rocket, due to stopping any pranks or jokes from going too far. Seungyoun goes to Jae-in whenever he needs to vent. He prefers to not let the kids see how down he actually gets, and originally didn’t even want Jae-in to see, but she caught him crying one night, and since then Seungyoun goes to her whenever he just needs to talk. The same goes for her. Jae-in only ever shows her true emotions to a select few, and Seungyoun is one of them. Back on PDX, these two were always the mood makers in their teams and if they weren’t on the same team making others laugh, they were looking for each other in between breaks. They just naturally gravitate towards each other.

Wooseok:

These two met during a music show. Jae-in was MCing back when she was in B.A.P and Up10tion was promoting. She, Wooseok, and Jinhyuk got into a little (fun) argument about the the best snacks at each music show, and from there on out, a friendship had grown. Whenever Jae-in enters a room, she always goes towards Wooseok and latches on to him. He’s one of the few members that just lets it happen without comment or complaint. Even though, she shares a room with Seungwoo, she’ll either chill in Wooseok’s room, or drag him to her room to just cuddle. Jae-in keeps a watchful eye on Wooseok, knowing his past. Jinhyuk had asked them to stick together and look out for each other while being in X1, and Jae-in takes that request very seriously, as she sees him like a little brother (much to his displeasure). Wooseok will go to either Seungwoo or her whenever he needs to talk or is too stressed, but will also listen whenever Jae-in needs to vent.

Yohan:

Jae-in has admired Yohan since his audition. Whenever he improved and got compliments, she always felt so proud, even if he wasn’t on her team. While he spends time squishing cheeks and teasing the younger members, she does the same to him. She laughs at how squirmy he gets with any sort of skinship, so she has made it her goal to make him get used to it. Yohan at first felt a bit uncomfortable with her, due to being the only girl and such a “badass idol” in the past, but he slowly started to see her as an older sister that he could confide in. Jae-in will help him with the dances and in return, she asks him to teach her taekwondo, to which he teases her whenever she tries hard, but stumbles, “So there are some things that the Great Han Jae-in can’t do.” “Oh, shut up.”

Hangyul:

From the beginning, Jae-in was drawn to him for some reason. He seemed intimidating, but she also got such soft vibes from him. She had seen him before on The Unit, and as a part of IM, but didn’t know much about him. She liked the vibe that he gave, and during one of the late night practices to X1-MA, she found him practicing alone, and decided to join him. He felt at ease with her and right away was able to make jokes with her. They often complimented each other on their dances and even gave each other pointers. Jae-in sees a lot of her members as younger brothers, but Hangyul is the closest to resembling her actual brother, so she naturally felt comfortable around him. In the dorms, if too many members are visiting Seungwoo in their shared room, she’ll often go to Hangyul and Seungyoun’s room, since it basically has the same vibes as hers, but with less kids. She’ll often slump on Hagyul’s bed, face buried in his pillow and muffle out a drama suggestion that they should watch. He is definitely the one that gets the most protective of her.

Junho:

Junho is a tough case for Jae-in. She knows that he’s pretty quiet at first, but once he’s comfortable he’ll open up, or at least he has with the other members. They’ve been on the same team on PDX a few times, and yet he’s still quiet around her. She gets that not everyone will be fully comfortable with her in the group, but she would still like to hold a conversation with him. And they do, but it always seems forced, or there’s another member involved. Jae-in has just come to the conclusion, that he’ll (hopefully) come around. Until then, she’ll just awkwardly help him with his dance. She’s still very observant of him and is hyper aware of when he’s stressing out or overworking himself. She’ll do subtle things to help, like making him his favorite meal, or ushering the kids out of whatever room he’s trying to rest in. She thinks that he doesn’t notice these things, but he does, and even though he doesn’t show it much, he is grateful.

Dongpyo:

Even though Seungwoo has claimed him as his son, Jae-in is totally whipped for him. She thinks that he’s super talented and so cute. He comes to her often whenever the boys tease him, because even though she loves to cuddle, she knows when to stop. She’s quick to defend him if the teasing starts to get out of hand, and the teasing generally stops right away, because no one has ever seen Jae-in mad, and they’re scared to see what that looks like. Whenever Dongpyo is being smothered in cuddles (normally by Yohan), she picks him up and brings him to another part of the room and stays with him. Dongpyo gets flustered with the fact that she can pick him up with ease due to her height and strength, but ignores it in lieu of being free of the over clingy members. Dongpyo has begged Jae-in to grow out her hair, “You would look so pretty, and then I could play with your hair too”. As much as Jae-in enjoys the simplicity of having short hair, she has often thought about growing it out for him.

Minhee:

Jae-in is in love with Minhee’s humor. She’s obsessed with making dad jokes and making others cringe, and the fact that Minhee appreciates her jokes makes her love him more. She definitely loves his meme like personality which intensifies whenever he senses that she’s feeling down. Jae-in normally joins Minhee as he walks Hyeongjun to school, then she in turn walks him to school. Jae-in will typically sit with him while he does his homework and sometimes ask him to set up a couple of problems for her to solve. It’s been awhile since she’s  been in school and likes to stay on her toes. He knew this which is why he suggested to start giving her problems to solve. He has to hide a grin with how many she gets wrong, but helps her out to make sure she understands. Normally after that, they’ll go out to get coffee and a snack.

Eunsang:

Jae-in is probably one of his biggest supporters. Towards the end of PDX when people were choosing positions for the last two evaluations, she saw how Eunsang volunteered for whatever he could. She knew that he was fighting to ensure his place, so she often encouraged him to stand his ground and to not be afraid of looking greedy, because everyone at this point was grabbing whatever position they could. When he was announced as the X member, she saw how nervous he was and knew that he felt the same as she did. They got picked, but others were left behind. Once she had the chance, she latched on to him and made sure he was okay. She is still always keeping an eye out for him, because she knows that he tends to put too much pressure on himself. So she’ll casually slip her head into his and give it a squeeze. She’ll practice English with him, and will ask her to speak Spanish.

Hyeongjun:

From when he first walked into the company evaluations, she knew that she would have a hard time saying no to that face. After watching him go for X class to D and still work even harder, she fell for him more. She’d always hover around him, and he didn't mind at all. In fact he loved it. She reminded him so much of his older sisters, that in the span of talking for a few minutes he latched on to her. He became her son throughout the show and they still share that same relationship. He’ll actively seek out affection from her, which she is always happy to give. He sometimes slips into her room at night when he misses home, and being the night owl she is, is always welcoming him with open arms, and a space in the bed for him. Seungwoo has woken many times to the sight of them tangled together. She’s in love with his accent that slips out every so often, she melts with it.

Dohyon:

Their relationship is still a little rocky. They had never been on the same team during PDX, and even though, Jae-in is pretty social, she never really talked to him. Once they debuted, they started to talk a bit more. With their 9 year age gap and her being the only girl, he doesn’t really know what to say or do around her. Though, he’s starting to warm up to her since he sees that she joins in on some of Team Rocket’s shenanigans. He’ll sometimes get excited while talking about something and then kind of quiets down and blushes slightly when he sees Jae-in smiling at his excitement. He really likes her cooking and will shyly ask her what she’s making. Dohyon reminds Jae-in of her maknae from her previous group, in height, talent, and personality, so she often looks at him in adoration and sometimes has to hold herself back to not squish his cheeks. Jae-in would like to try composing some music with him, but is kind of scared that he’ll say no, though he’d like to do the same thing, but won’t ask for the same reason.

Jaein’s Masterlist

[fearfearer]

more thoughts about the magnus archives as i reread the transcripts

i was thinking about how gertrude robinson was really an extraordinary person (not extraordinarily Morally Sound, but extraordinary) just because of who she was, whereas the only extraordinary things about jonathan sims are things that have been arranged for him (i.e. his role). i don't mean this as a diss for jonathan, as i'm not extraordinary either. it's just striking that gertrude was so driven and confident compared to jon. of course, now we know that basically everything she did was in the pursuit of a moot goal (i.e. killing people in order to stop rituals that were already doomed to fail) so maybe my point is somewhat moot as well.

i've been doing some rereading of episodes on my phone (i.e. away from this text document on my computer) and i'll have a realization like "right, i should note that down when i get back to my computer" and i have forgotten all of them now that i am back at my computer. suffice it to say there are quite a few things i misheard/misunderstood on the first listen, unsurprisingly.

reading through the first 20 or so episodes i'm surprised by how well i remember each of them, considering i was listening like 4 episodes a day when i started. then again, it was only a month or two ago that i even listened to them, so one should hope my memory is at least this good. anyway the first episode i'm re-listening instead of rereading is 22 bc that's the first one where we hear martin's voice, i'm pretty sure

i've also noticed some errors in the official transcripts, which aren't a big deal because obviously what matters most is the audio, but still... some of them have been simple typos. magnus archives hire me as your official transcriptionist and i'll make all your transcripts 100% error-free bc im smatr

(reading through the rest of the transcripts and my standards went way down in terms of grammar/stylistic consistency, as most of the later ones are fan transcripts by several different people. i found quite a few mistakes, but obviously i have no particular way to help fix them short of sending an email to the tma transcripts fansite person like “hey there’s all these mistakes. upload my good version instead?” bc i’m not that much of a dick)

the whole reason martin went to the spider guy's building was because he didn't want jon to be disappointed in him for not doing Due Diligence. he says so twice. then he went back for the same reason. it seems the fandom joke is "jon asks his assistants to do crimes for him" but in this case martin is like "oh no maybe i didn't do enough crimes to satisfy jon"

jon was doing his archivist voice HEAVILY in season 1, huh?

tim's first appearance is so jovial compared to how he ends up...

if this boat lady is speaking spanish in brazil, then it doesn't matter if it was "bad spanish" or not. anyway now i understand why we already knew peter lukas was serving the lonely by the time jon mentioned offhand that peter lukas was serving the lonely. it was my whole “let’s not bother noting down any FREQUENTLY RECURRING names”

well i guess robert smirke was a real person. should i feel dumb about this? idk. it’s such a fictional-sounding name, to be fair. but i guess that set the precedent of using a real person as an important historical figure in the fiction that we see happening again when edmund halley is referenced later on. also episode 35 has foreshadowing for the separation of 14 powers, and people thought it was 13 because they mention 13 halls PLUS the one they came through.

totally forgot about tim goofing around in episode 39... he was really not having the worst time at this job before bad things started happening and he realized he was trapped, huh

the worms were trying to make a doorway into the Worm Wealm

ep 40 jon's like "I need to hear it. I need to record it. Or else I can't finish." (lightly abridged)

listening to the season 1 Q&A for the first time and EARL BIGMAC

also good to know there's only going to be 5 seasons. very good to know. this seems like a good kind of series to write with a fixed endpoint in mind, as it's very easy to do an episode that has effectively no bearing on the MetaPlot but which is still a short story in itself and therefore doesn't count as "filler"

jonathan sims performs with a mythical space pirate music cabaret. so he IS a ham

jonny says, "no rude words. i could say bums, maybe..." (alexander j newall does a laugh while i do the exact same laugh irl) "...but i won't."

some dumbass writing into the Q&A to ask if the background music is diegetic... get a podcast brain, ya fool. though for my part, i have to say that one of the most striking things about this podcast when i first started listening (though i never made a note of it before) was the Too Spooky Music, and i didn't like it at all. the reason was that i am, and have been, vulnerable to Getting Spooked about irrational things at night, such that it becomes really hard to fall asleep... and one of the things that has an outsize effect on my level of Spookédness is spooky audio. so if i was watching a video at night and i was worried it would Get Me Spooked, i would just turn the sound off, and it would turn out fine. but obviously you can't turn the sound off on a podcast. and i've been listening to podcasts after work, i.e. after 5pm, and i go to bed at like 8 or 9pm because i'm old. so the way it turned out was that even if the actual subject of the podcast wasn't that scary to me, the music would amplify it in an unpleasant way and make me more likely to have trouble sleeping. also i think most of the episodes would have been fine without the music, or maybe with some less intentionally-disconcerting background music.

this just in: i seem to have totally missed episode 50 on my first listen-through, despite having gone in linear order. bc i'm listening to it now and i've definitely never heard this before. fortunately it doesn't seem to have much of a bearing on the rest of the series, so it's not like i missed any crucial information. tbh the only worthwhile bit was a brief moment of tim being a ham, which was good. i hope i didn't miss any other episodes the first time... still don't know how i managed to miss this one.

the official transcript said [EXTENDED SOUNDS OF BRUTAL PIPE MURDER] ...

so gertrude and leitner WERE played by jonny's parents <:3c i'd thought as much when i saw the cast names but i like that it's confirmed. his mom is a really good actress too. i always find the gertrude episodes to be striking in a certain way

"it's Fine working with your parents. it's Fine." as someone who worked with my mom for like a year i can confirm this

i'm tickled to find that the official transcripts have a sense of humor. i wonder who is behind them. i also wonder, what is the excuse for not having a full set of official transcripts when it is a script-based show? surely you know what is going to be said beforehand, and you have it written down, and if someone ends up saying something different in the final recording, surely it wouldn’t be too hard to give the original script a little edit, and bam! that’s a transcript. i wonder if this approach is not feasible for some reason.

whenever martin reads statements, he says something about jon... whenever he talks to someone, he says something about jon

i think episode 110 is an instance of the tape recorder turning ITSELF off... at the end of the episode. because they walk away, and they say something distantly, and then it turns off. lots of other times, there had to be a diegetic reason for the tape recorder to turn off at the end.

i noticed something which i missed last time, which was that there is a rumor between melanie and georgie and basira that implies that jonathan is asexual. worth noting, i think. [side note added in later: yeah it’s canon. cool]

also i listened to episode 103 again and yes. i had thought-- i had been SURE-- that the person interrogating the traffic cop (using the asky ability) was martin. but it was actually jon. how did i possibly manage that mistake? i'm not great at distinguishing voices, but i'm not THAT bad. the only possible answer: when i was listening to the episode for the first time... i must have been eating a crunchy snack.

"it doesn't have to make sense! alex has to make it sense." (jonny sims re: writing the spiral)

glad to know that jonny sims regrets using his own name for the protagonist. doesn't make a difference either way at this point but yeah

YES i knew episode 100 was improvised. and i see, all the statementers had actually had supernatural experiences, but because the archivist was absent, their statements didn't have the coherence and clarity normally lent to them by the eye (in exchange for becoming cursed). i think melanie or basira actually said pretty much that in the episode itself, but i still couldn't be sure that all of those people had something real to talk about.

"in the same way that tim is dead, michael is helen." good shit

the archivist is canon a bit of a drama queen. the first bullet point in my first tma notes document is vindicated

jonny sims mentions another podcast (apocrypals) that sounds 100% up my alley, so that is appreciated, i will add that to my list i think. (listened to episodes 0 and 1 of apocrypals and i'm heavily struck by how VERY clearly i can hear the smiles in chris sims's voice. i did not know smiling could be so audible, truly.) (listened to quite a few more episodes of apocrypals and it’s certainly entertaining at times. i should’ve been reading along though. maybe some other time)

I DIDN'T LISTEN TO THE SEASON 4 TEASER THE FIRST TIME AROUND.........................................

i must confess something that people who know me well may already know: i hate when stories have a bad ending. an unhappy ending. a painful ending. a hopeless ending. bittersweet is the furthest in that direction i can tolerate. my perspective, which is pretty deep-seated, is that there's no point in getting to know and love characters if you're only going to be hurt by that connection to them when the end turns out to be bad. if i have even a mild inkling that a story is heading toward a bad ending, i make a conscious effort to regard all characters from afar and not develop any strong attachments. this is not so much "how i think all stories need to be," but rather, "the characteristics a story needs to have to appeal to me personally." so i understand that my view is very subjective and mostly based on my own mental weakness. but i can't help but apply it to the media i consume. and the idea that someone would do something like "make characters very human and strongly developed" IN COMBINATION WITH "heading toward a bad end" makes me upset. like, picture a horror movie. think about the characters in a horror movie. with the exception of a main character, if there is one, there's no guarantee that anyone is going to survive to the end of the film... BUT... the characters generally aren't fleshed out and very sympathetic. i wouldn't go so far as to say they're disposable, but you're not SUPPOSED to cry when they die; you're just supposed to get scared. their purpose is as objects of fear, and you never expect or even hope for a happy ending. but in the magnus archives... all i'm saying... is that i would cry if any of the remaining members of the main cast died. and it seems clear that we're not heading to a happy ending. so i'm somewhat afraid, and not in a good way. i don't know how much i can trust jonny sims to give me the story i want, and obviously, i'm not entitled to it.

if your name is jonathan and you want to shorten it, the short form is jon. it ain't john, no matter what the official transcripts say. where'd you get that h, huh? stole it from someone else's name? are you shortening it like JOnatHaN? you can’t just be that sneaky!

i listened to scrutiny again and it hits so hard. now, in heart of darkness, when manuela begs jon not to force her statement, it's really heavy given the direct context of the previous two episodes where we see how compulsion works and how it hurts.

also when jon was talking about how to destroy the dark sun and he was like "i just need to see it," when i first heard it, i assumed he meant something along the lines of, "by seeing it, i will learn how to destroy it." but now i understand that the mere act of the eye seeing it destroys it, because being known is what the darkness is weakest to.

the magnus employees who work in the library probably at least have a LITTLE BIT of a feeling that they work in an almost normal place, given that jon and all his assistants were able to have that impression before transferring to the archives. so i wonder how the magnus library people feel about their institute's director getting arrested for double murder and now the big boss is a completely unrelated ship captain who seems to want nothing to do with the place but simultaneously is trying to continue business as usual

on second listen, listening to jon ask helen when the guilt stops (wrt hurting people in order to feed one's patron fear) is pretty chilling. because it seems like he's definitely accepting that he will have to hurt people, and what he's concerned about is how bad it makes HIM feel. of course, helen then answers with precisely what i just wrote, so...

i should've read the transcript for episode 159 instead of relistening because i forgot that peter lukas's actor got so gravelly and hard to listen to in this one. anyway, time to re-listen to the season 4 finale... then i'll listen to the season 4 Q&As and stuff... and then the new episode. (DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI DOKI)

i heard in the Q&A that the voice of peter lukas did multiple takes for episode 159?! but it was because of technical difficulties. right. because i can’t imagine the way it turned out being deemed the best take. sorry

ok, things i missed last time i listened to 160: daisy and the other two hunters are missing. also jon mentioned "magnus's body" and martin mentioned "an old man's corpse" and at the time i took this to mean (somewhat unthinkingly) that when jon and martin returned from the lonely, they killed elias/jonah's body. which would be a weird thing to happen "off-camera," so to speak. so i think i must have been wrong? slightly confused. ok, no, i'm now sure that elias survived, so i must have misunderstood. definitely alive.

as martin leaves and jon is about to begin the statement, he sounds so peaceful and satisfied. that's good acting.

by the way, in one of the previous few episodes, i noticed that jonah seems to have body-swapped by switching out his eyes into his preferred body, which i'm pretty sure i missed the first time.

i like that jonny sims checks reddit to see whether people have solved the mystery. that's just a really funny way to do things, sneaking a peek like "hmm how mysterious is my mystery? let's see who has figured it out..." and for the record, i wasn't even close to figuring it out. but to be fair to myself, i didn't try. like i said from the beginning, i started listening with the intent of going along for the ride. plus the mystery had already been solved before i started listening to the series, so it's not like i had a lot of time in between updates to contemplate whether elias was jonah, etc.

JON'S AMERICAN ACCENT FOR THE IONIZED YEAST AD

ALEX WAS THE VOICE OF JARED HOPWORTH?! i mean it was so messed up it could have been anybody but god

ALEX DIDN'T LET GERTUDE CACKLE

i've listened to the bloopers (including a gertrude cackle?) and the season 5 trailer (martin seems slightly cavalier about the end of the world but maybe he's just trying to keep his shit together for jon) and i'm going to listen to the new episode Soon.

final conclusion on rereads/relistens: i had pretty poor comprehension of some important happenings. i’m realizing just how easy it is to mishear/fail to hear exactly what is happening in a podcast when you’re doing other stuff at the same time. there are still a couple things i don’t quite understand, but i think i’ll have a look around the wiki one of these days.

[pinkykitten]

Space Helmets and Marshmallows

The Good Doctor

Neil Melendez x autistic & white! female reader

Warning: patient has heart transplant, patient with cancer

Specifics: fluff, romance, pictures, gifs, autistic reader, white reader, one-shot

People: Neil Melendez, you, Shaun Murphy, Claire Browne, Jared Kalu (ik i just had to put him in here!), Morgan Reznick, Alex Park, Audrey Lim, Elena (oc), Stephanie (oc)

Words: 2,846

Requested: By @the-gang-makes-a-tmblr i have a request for the good doctor if you happen to do reader inserts because i want something based off of my level of autism that i have, my idea is reader is a new doctor after shaun she also has autism so initially melendez is unsure of her and bases what he knows from shaun so he takes a bit to warm up but what causes him to warm up is she is pretty good with patients she can have conversations if she has too, she can undrstand sarcasm and humour, but she still gets shaun, but anyway- - that causes melendez to see her in a better light basically this becomes a readerxmelendez, and yeah. also to add because the rules say i can suggest a race since you are race neutral since i am white please write reader as white. Also this isn't really AU i hope.

Authors Note: srry this took so long i have to deal with the issue about the tumblr links atm so im kinda changing things on my blog. also thnx for ur kind words💖💖💖

(not my gif! do not own!)

The elevator door dinged open as you stepped out. Books tightly gripped in your arms, ready for the interview of your life. 

You saw on the news about that Dr. Shaun Murphy who changed the medical field forever. He has autism, and so do you. Yours is not on the level of Shaun’s but still Shaun made a difference in the world you lived in. He made it possible for people like you. 

As a young girl you always wanted to be a doctor but when you learned you had autism all those dreams died. Until you saw how capable you were to do this, to become what you wanted. You kept going forward and did not listen to those who kept bringing you down. And now you were here, about to do an interview for the San Jose St. Bonaventure Hospital. You were ready. 

Your heels clicked on the floor, you walked with a stride, in pride. You quickly looked at yourself in the mirror, making sure you looked presentable. 

You smiled at your reflection and breathed out, “here we go y/n. You are about to change your life.”

As you walked in the room you spotted the President, Chief, and Chairman of the hospital. “Good evening, I am y/n l/n, and I am asking for a job here.”

“Yes I got the job!” You screamed into the phone to your long time friend. You were currently sitting in the cafeteria telling the great news to people close to you. 

“Great job y/n! When will you be working?” Asked your friend. You chuckled and stood up to grab your coffee that was resting on the table in front of you. “Tomorrow actually, that’s when I get to meet the staff and kinda see my place in this but I am so excited!”

“I’m happy for you y/n.”

Just then you spotted the one and only Shaun Murphy with a quick reply you told your friend, “okay, let me call you back something came up.” You hanged up the phone and walked to Shaun. 

“Um hello there, Shaun is it?” You smiled to Shaun, Shaun looked at you and clasped his hands together. “I do not think we have met.”

“No we have not. I’m new, my name is y/n l/n. Can I say what an inspiration you are to me-”

“Oh yes I have now heard of you. You are the new doctor, Dr. Melendez does not like you.”

You paused at your words and shook your head, “what?”

“Dr. Melendez does not want someone else on his team with autism. But I think he is being rude. It is nice to see someone else with autism.” Shaun looked somewhere else and waited patiently in the line. 

“Well yes Shaun you are right that is rude, well then I guess I’ll just have to change his mind. Man news travels fast around here, but I wanted to talk to you about that. Shaun you have changed the way doctors look at people with autism, they now know that people like you and me are capable of greater things. I just wanted to say thank you.”

Shaun smiled and looked at you, “I just really wanted to be a doctor.”

You giggled back and brought out your wallet, “what you havin Shaun?”

“Chocolate chip pancakes, they are my favorite.”

“Here,” you and Shaun went to the front of the line, “I’ll pay.”

You and Shaun talked all through his break and you had to say he was so much fun. You understood him and felt a connection with Shaun. You felt you were going to fit in just right. 

That is until you met Dr. Melendez.

Standing in the changing room you feel accomplished. You were doing this! Opening the door you inspected the way you looked in the mirror. Approving of the attire you then put on your watch. The moment you’ve been waiting for is now here. You delicately placed the white doctors coat on your shoulders, you fix it a little bit and then look in the mirror. 

“Look at you y/n, I am so proud of me,” you smiled and smoothed down the coat. 

“Oh hello there,” said a sweet voice. You turned around seeing a woman. You became bashful, hoping she didn’t hear you talking to yourself. 

“Hi, names y/n l/n. Yours?” You asked sticking out your hand to hers. 

“Claire Browne, and yes you are the new girl. Well we’re glad to have you here. I’m excited for you.”

“Thanks, unfortunately though Shaun told me that a certain Dr. Melendez doesn’t really want me here.”

Claire placed a hand on your shoulder, “don’t worry about him, he’s like that. He’ll warm up to you, I just know it.”

“Hey what are we ladies talking about?” Another doctor woman came in, smiling to Claire and then pausing with you. “You the new one? Y/n l/n?”

You nodded, “that’s me! Nice to meet you Dr. Audrey Lim. I have heard so many great things about you.” You shook her hand and gushed about her reputation. 

“Ooh seems like someones done their research,” Audrey raised her eyebrows, going to her locker. 

“Hi names Morgan Reznick, I know your name you don’t have to tell me. Let me just say to not trust everyone on here. And with Melendez you need to up your game if you don’t he will drop you. My suggestion, be better than everyone.” A doctor with blonde hair sneered at you. She smiled with a fake smile as she walked away full of confidence 

“Who was that?” You questioned, still shocked someone talked to you that way. 

Audrey just shrugged, “that my friend is Dr. Morgan Reznick. She can be nice, when you’re lucky.”

Feeling now nervous and scared you wonder if the group will like you. You came in this all confident in yourself but now you just questioned everything. 

“Oh Jared’s waiting for me outside, I’m gonna go get him,” Claire said announced while reading her text messages. 

You all waved to her and proceeded with the morning. 

You made good friends already in that one day with Audrey and Claire. They also introduced you to Dr. Jared Kalu and Dr. Alex Park. They both were so kind to you, saying that they did appreciate your braveness. They also knew about your autism, but they made it clear to you the minute they saw you that it did not define you. They still treated you with respect and kindness. 

“So y/n, have you ever had hands on experiences?” Alex asked, the group that you made friends with walking with you.

“Yeah I once saved this mother in Africa who her baby had a nuchal cord. The baby was dying and we had very limited resources so I did what was necessary and saved the mother and the child.”

“I feel she knows what she is doing,” Shaun popped out of nowhere, apparently listening to the conversation. 

“Well thanks Shaun, I just knew I needed to save those two. But I’ve had more.”

“Thats cool you go to places like Africa, have you gone anywhere else?” Jared asked, also reading the ipad. 

“Actually I have, I have worked in places like Mexico, Russia, more places where the hospitals are not the greatest there. They are poor or need some help.”

“Did you tell any of those people in the places you visited that you had autism?” Morgan gave you a smirk, raising her eyebrows.

“No, no I did not. I don’t usually tell people because then they won’t let me perform or do surgery on a patient.”

You all turned the corner and your eyes made contact with a very handsome doctor. The first thing you noticed was his tattoo. It was creeping a little out of his shirt. 

“I didn’t know we we’re having a party?” He said sarcastically, meaning he didn’t want you all to continue on talking. 

Jared coughed in his hand, trying to say that there was a new person here. The handsome doctor looked to you and crossed his arms. “Who are you?”

“I’m the new doctor, y/n l/n. You must be Dr. Melendez. Pleasure to meet you,” you stuck your hand out but Melendez did not take it. He instead placed his hand on your shoulder and brought his lips to your ear. “Don’t think this will be easy, you’ll have to earn the respect and earn your way to the top.”

Unable to form words and wanting to still be respectful you laughed and just looked everywhere. 

“Claire, y/n and Jared, you guys are going to be working with me today. Lets see how good y/n can do.”

Claire placed a reassuring hand on your back and gave you a warm smile. “He’s like this in the beginning.”

You looked down and tried to push his hurtful comment away but it just kept hurting you. It made you feel useless. With a strong attitude you straightened your posture and walked with maturity. 

“What are we working on doctor?”

That day your team had to work on a heart transplant. The woman, named Elena, her heart was too big for her body. You felt awkward in the room because you felt you weren’t allowed to say anything. 

“And whats wrong with you? Can’t talk?” Elena asked, putting her hands out.

As you were about to say something Melendez stuck his hand on your back and chuckled, “Ella es nueva (she is new).”

Scratching your head you whispered into Neil’s ear as to what he said. He just brushed it off. What was odd was you liked Dr. Melendez Spanish. It was sexy to you. 

The old woman just laughed and nodded, “I understand.”

Bringing the woman to the surgery room you thought you were at least going to make incisions on her. Instead, your mean boss made you just use the surgical pump. Feeling like you were dumb you stood there, angry. 

“Y/n if you don’t lighten up I would quickly advise you to get out of my surgery room.” Melendez said, paying attention to the monitor. 

“Right, no got it 100 percent Doc,” sarcastic words dripped from your mouth before you even thought what you said. 

Melendez gave you a look of, “don’t try me.”

It was like that for a couple of months. You were only used for that one thing. At night your mind raced with thoughts of this wasn’t for you. You thought maybe you weren’t meant for this job. Feeling more and more down about your days in the hospital you would go to seek guidance, or just have a fun chat with your friends. Being best friends with Claire Browne was the best. She made you feel happy and worth while when you talked and hanged out with her. You also hanged out with Shaun. You understood him the most and when he was having his episodes when he just was frustrated you stood by him and aided him through that. Knowing how its is going through autism you knew what it meant to have those frustrated episodes. You knew how it felt to think that nobody gets you, but you were always there for Shaun. 

What also made you feel grateful and at least some joy in your job was seeing patients. You met all sorts from all walks of life, different age, skin color, ethnicity, disease. You felt you were there for them and that’s what mattered to you. 

Melendez was not as mean to you anymore for the months that went by but you could tell he still didn’t trust you. You tried being kind to him and you’re still sticking with that strategy. 

You had many patients that you would see during lunch and after your work but one stood out to you. It was Stephanie, it was a little girl that had leukemia. 

You finished your work, putting your doctor robe in the locker you walked out in your blue suit. 

As you were coming out of the room you accidentally knocked into Dr. Melendez. 

“Sorry, I’m in a bit of a rush. My apologies.” With a quick word you sped off down the hallway. 

Neil was curious and looked back and forth, “what is she up to?”

You walked into Stephanie’s room with a present hidden behind you, “hello there sweetheart, how was your day?”

“It was perfect and just great,” she said sarcastically. “But its great now that you’re here.”

You embraced her and kissed her hairless head. Her blue emerald eyes just looked at you with happiness. “Me too Steph, my days great just because I am seeing you.”

Dr. Melendez heard you and someone else talking, he ran to see what the commotion was. What sight he saw! It was something so beautiful! You were talking to a little girl with cancer. He saw how tender and affectionate you were to that little girl. It made his heart race for you and finally he saw that even though you were not like Shaun you are you. You were meant to be working as a doctor. Neil just stood there and watched the conversation, feeling a smile creep up on his face. 

“I got you something,” you said excitedly. “Here.” Handing her favorite animal which was a unicorn made her squeal and jump up and down. She hugged the plush so hard and kissed it with many kisses.   

“Oh thank you y/n, thank you so much!”

“Of course sweetheart. Now do you have the goodies?”

Stephanie eyes opened wide and nodded fast, “here is yours y/n.” She got a space helmet made from soft fabric that you made for her. Hers was blue and yours was gray. You then put on the tv a space show you and her love to watch. 

“Now,” Stephanie asked this time. “Do you have the goods?”

You and her laughed and you patted her arm. “Of course silly, I always remember to bring them.” You brought out marshmallows the mini ones to be exact, those were her favorite. 

“Yes!!!!! I love marshmallows,” she cheered out loud. As she looked up she saw Neil though. “Oh hello there, would you also like some marshmallows?”

You turned around to see who Stephanie was talking to and as you saw Dr. Melendez you quickly stood up. “I am sorry sir, forgive me I was just wanting to play with-”

Neil put his hand out to shush you and laughed, actually laughed in front and because of you. “You look awesome in that.” He pointed to your space helmet. You looked down and giggled as well, “Um Doctor, would you like some marshmallows?”

“Neil, and sure. What are we watching?”

Melendez sat next to you through out the whole thing. He laughed with you and even touched you a little. It made you start to have feelings for him. He was actually very funny. He even made Stephanie laugh. 

The night sky was pitch black but there were a few stars in tonight. 

Melendez offered to walk you to your car after Stephanie fell asleep and during your guys walk you had conversations about many things. 

“Seeing you with that little girl made me feel very proud of you. As a doctor you try to just make sure your patients are safe physically but sometimes we need to help them emotionally. You did that with that little girl.”

“Thank you Neil,” you smiled to him. “I just try to understand our patients. I want to make sure that they know that we are here for them. I love making people laugh and hearing their chuckles, I want to make them feel loved.” You expressed yourself for the first time, genuinely to Dr. Melendez. 

“Good job y/n. I can see that you are to be trusted more and for that I’m sorry for being so harsh to you. I was just-”

“Worried about your patients. I just hope this makes you have more of an open mind. But I am ready for whatever you have to put on me. I can take it.”

Neil nodded his head, “Hard worker, I like it.”

“Well this is me,” you stopped by your car. “See you tomorrow...Neil.” You grinned widely. 

Melendez nodded and walked away but then he ran back to you. “Wait! How about tomorrow you come over for dinner, my place?”

You walked closer to him, inching closer and closer until your lips met. It was a short kiss but it was sexy. You licked your lips and winked at Neil, “sure yes, of course. Can’t wait!”

Neil eyed you up and down, knowing you were not to be messed with, “Good well see you there.” 

“Bye,” you waved to him while getting in the car. You couldn’t wait for tomorrow and you felt you were finally getting somewhere with him. As you drove away from the hospital all you thought of was that kiss and how giddy and happy you felt. You were excited for the future. 

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[myheadcanonacademia]

The Gang talks about puberty.

Words: 2134

Class 1-A was in the middle of their English course, most of the students desperately trying to translate their assigned passages before it was their turn to speak. Compared to most of their other academic courses the language ranked highest. While general studies and hero support pushed proficiency in mathematics and the sciences, it had become apparent early on that the quadratic equation wasn’t going to help fight villains any time soon. The main focus of academics in the hero course was on language, and along with that the arts, theater, and writing.

Every hero course student had to be proficient in hero vocabulary and conversational English before they graduated, besides that they had to have a working vocabulary in at least three other chosen languages. Long nights were spent when the students could be heard talking to themselves in German, French, Arabic, Spanish, Mandarin and even Russian. They drilled phrases like ‘How can I help you?’ and ‘Are you in danger?’ as well as any possible replies that they could get. At lunches the week before an exam other students would raise eyebrows at the exhausted looking class 1-A as they rambled back and forth to each other in broken German asking ‘Have you seen this child?’ over and over again. The theory behind the study of the arts and writing was that heroes would have a higher attention to detail and be able to have the put what they saw into description. The theater classes assisted in their public speaking confidence.

Kaminari Denki was currently sight reading his chosen passage, a fairly complex paragraph from an American novel. Several students lay back in their seats, having already tried and failed to accurately translate their homework. Kaminari was without a doubt the star of the language class. While students like Iida Tenya and Yaoyarozu Momo excelled in all subjects, watching Kaminari flawlessly translate passages from Harry Potter on the spot was akin to watching a meteor shower. Beautiful and yet somehow terrifying.

After Kaminari finished his passage, Bakugou Katsuki stood up. His eyes and hands were on his open book of English readings. He had picked the hardest one he could find, a section out of a story by Edgar Allan Poe, and now he was regretting it. Slowly and firmly he tried to wrap his tongue around the odd fitting Anglo-Saxon language. He stumbled a few times and did as he had been taught to do when something frustrated him, take a breath, count to three and try again. It worked in an academic setting at least. But he stumbled over his words, glaring at Kaminari who was looking at him with a smile. Him and the rest of Bakugous group had been slaving away over their languages for days with little improvement.

And then it happened. It being, one moment Bakugous voice was an even raspy growl and the next it jumped up to a decibel that only dogs could hear and then falling to a deep bass. Bakugou froze mid sentence, counted to three, cleared his throat, and turned bright red. Even so he slowly began again, his eyes wondering over the faces of his class, most of them hadn’t even been paying attention, no one seemed to bothers by it at all. Bakugou raced through the rest of the passage and dropped back into his seet. He hid behind his arms crossed over his chest.

The second time it happened it was several days after the first incident. Bakugou had completely forgotten about having his voice break in the middle of class. But puberty never let you forget her for long. He was in the middle of a sparring match with Kirishima Eijirou, his best friend. Kirishima was acting as a punching bag as Bakugou viciously slammed his bloody knuckles onto his friends stony body.

“Why won’t you just give in-“ Bakugou was cut off mid threat by his voice rocketing up from its normal tenor to a soprano.

“Dude.” Kirishima laughed, he faltered in his defense and Bakugous right hook caught his chin.

Later that same day Bakugou and his little gang of losers had crowded the kitchen are of the common space. The only one who was actually using it for its intended purpose was Bakugou. He slaved away over the kitchen stove prepping meals for him and Kirishima. They were both trying to bulk up. Kirishima was trying to help by cutting the vegetables but he was so slow and kept crying over the onions that Bakugou had demoted him to ‘guardian of the Tupperware’. The defeated redheaded boy stood holding the plastic storage containers, trying to be interested in Bakugou as he explained why he never boiled broccoli, but Kaminari was being way too interesting. He had discovered a website that had a bunch of English profanities and they were all trying to memorize them but their pronunciation was so off most of what they said was nonsense but with the amount of laughter it was apparent that it didn’t really matter.

“Kirishima pay attention, I’m only making enough food for both of us this one time.” That’s what he said two weeks ago as well.

“Dude relax.” Kirishima laughed, glancing at the broccoli beef Bakugou had created. He waved the Tupperware around. “I’m ready when you are!”  

Kaminari poked Bakugou on the shoulder. “You should be listening to these they are so funny!”

“Why the fuck would I be interested cursing in English. No one will know what im saying.” Bakugou rolled his eyes. Sometimes his friends got excited about silly things. Silly harmless things that just made them happy, it was Bakugous job to shit on those things as much as possible.

“Come on man, try this one.” Kaminari raised his phone. “Your mother was a hamster and your father smells of elder berries!”

“Your… Fa… Father was a hamster…” and Bakugous voice cracked again, no one made a move. Bakugou reached behind him and grasped one of the (only)  clean saucepans and in his rage launched it out of the kitchen and towards the sitting area. The handle wedged into the wall where it would remain for generations to come. He small gang of friends laughed at Bakugous expense.

“Dude, your voice  has been cracking all day!”

“I’ve noticed, Hair For Brains. “ Bakugou returned to his cooking, his face growing ever redder. He was furiously mixxing garlic into the beef sauce. “it’s fucking annoying.”

“it’s puberty, don’t sweat it dude.” Kaminari leaned back against the cool counter top, his finger scrolled through his phone but his attention was on Bakugou. “We are all suffering.”

“I don’t see you turning into a soprano in English class.” Mina laughed. “Fucking Sarah Brightman over here nearly made Iidas glasses crack.”

Bakugou growled at the pink haired girl. “it’s not a big deal, my voice breaks too. Remember in Hero training? I was trying to warn you that Sero was behind you and all that came out was nails on a chalk board.” Kirishima comforted Bakugou with a pat on the arm from the Tupperware.

“I’m moist like all of the time.” Mina happily chirped. The boys looked to her visibly shaken. “oh you wish! I mean I’m sweaty all of the time. Even now, you should feel my back.”

“I’d rather not.” Sero cringed.

“That’s gross.” Bakugou looked over his friend group carefully, reconsidering his choices.

“I’m allowed to be just as nasty as you Palm Sweat.” Mina used her foot to give Bakugous rear a quick kick. She pushed herself up onto the counter top and pulled a bag of chips out of MInetas shelf.

“I have a semi like 80% of the day.” Kaminari admitted way to comfortably. “And not for any reason. Two days ago I opened a pudding cup, boom, raging boner.” He laughed, everyone’s eyes drifted from his face to his crotch and back.

“Okay all of you are-“

“I’m pretty sure im going to be hairy as fuck.” Sero continued with their little confessional. Bakugou accepted that his had stopped being about his cracking voice and was now an all included ‘my body is doing fucked up shit’ power hour.

“Dude I saw you have chest hair and everything.” Kirishima laughed. He pulled out his shirt collar and looked down at his smooth skin. “Lucky.”

“You want chest hair?” Bakugou winced. “Why?”

“it’s manly as fuck.” Kirishima added.

“Let me see!” Mina was lifting Seros shirt, and he was letting her. He had a small patch of hair growing out of the middle of his chest between his pectorals, and one hell of a happy trail. Mina plucked a hair off from around his nipples and laughed. Sero cried out and frowned.

“Dude there aren’t that many!” he stole the hair back from Mina.

Bakugou rolled his eyes and nudged Kirishima to hold out the tupperware. He stated sectioning out the large quantity of food. Kaminari eyes him closely. Bakugou sneered as Kaminari adjusted his pants silently.

“Oh my god! Ew!” Mina jumped back up on the counter top.

“I’m sorry okay!” Kaminari wiggled around in his jeans. “It won’t stop! I don’t know what to do!”

“Just go jack off in your room.” Kirishima suggested, not even teasing, just trying to give friendly advice.

“I do… all of the time! I can’t jack it anymore! MY. DICK. HURTS.”

“All the time?” Mina now seemed kind of interested. Kaminari inched away from her.

“It’s that or I great the world dick first for the rest of my life.” Kaminari was wildly waving his arms around as he spoke, but it was going nothing towards distracting everyones eyes from his obvious boner.

“Maybe you could use it as a Taser?” Sero clowned a pelvic thrust. “ZAP ZAP!”

Kaminari seemed to be considering it. Mina burst into laughter.

“You won’t even need your charge director. You could have been using your dick this entire time.” The pink girl was screaming.

“Just imagine Kaminari running around, dick flying through the air, shooting lightning!” Sero had to support himself on the tile next to Mina.

“Cockbolt!” Kirishima slammed shut the freezer after him and Bakugou had packed way their meals.

“Stuncum.” Bakugou muttered a little quieter.

“Cum-inari Dick-I” Mina was getting way too loud.

“Fuck all of you guys.” Kaminari was choaking on his laughter. Sero was hardly even breathing. Kaminari turned to Kirishima as he wiped tears from his eyes. “And what about you? You as rock hard as I am?”

“Me?” Kirishima looked a little shocked that they were even curious about what ever damage puberty was wrecking on his body. “I don’t know… kind of all the normal stuff I guess?”

“Normal stuff?” Kaminari wanted details. Bakugou couldn’t deny he didn’t also what to know what the apparent faultless puberty god had to say. Kirishima seemed to be going through a short list in his head, trying to pick out the most interesting.

“Sorry, I don’t really know…” he scratched at his head. Kaminari wasn’t accepting that.

“Come on! Something? Is one of your feet bigger than the other? Do you smell bad? Acne in odd places? Come on! have your balls even dropped?”

“Of course they have! Im just saying that I cant think of anything funny to say. Nothing can really beat your fucking boner!” Kirishimas face was starting to match his hair.

“I bet Jirou would like to beat it.” Mina muttered under her breath.

“Really?” Kaminari perked up. “How… how do you know? Did she say-…”

“Kirishima cries a lot.” Bakugou announced coldly. All eyes were on him.

“I do?” Kirishima questioned. He didn’t think he cried a lot.

“You’re an emotional wreck.” Bakugou was pulling out more rice and meat, he wasn’t going to let them know but he was making everyone a late lunch. He just felt like cooking. “you cry at almost every movie we watch, even the ones that aren’t sad. Yesterday you dropped you pen in class and when you couldn’t reach it I saw fucking tears in your eyes.”

“Kirishima you big soft pussy. “ Mina spoke bluntly.

Kirishima looked to be in a state of shock. He guessed that maybe he had been crying a bit more than normal, that silly things like missing shoes and low batterys were pulling tears from him in the gallons. But he was an emotional guy so it made sense. Kaminari pulled Kirishimas head to his chest “my soft boi.”

“Get off!” Kirishima struggled against Kaminaris grip. Sero put his hand on the back of his head and pushed it down.

“NOW SUCK THAT DICK!” Kirishima escaped just in time, the group sans Bakugou laughing. Bakugou started putting the food he had just taken out way. Fuck these people, they could starve.

[purplenickel]

So this turned more into my queer dating history but its fun lol

So I have always been attracted to boys even before I knew that trans was a thing much less that I could transition. I also always admired girls and found ways to rationalize it until like middle school when I became aware of bisexuality where I had so many crushes usually on the mean kids at least the ones that didn’t have like weird shaped heads or watch alarms that went off at weird times during class like why do you need an alarm for 1:27? Youre supposed to be learning basic Spanish do that instead lol An I dated one guy in middle school when I knew I was bisexual and at least a tom boy. And the things I wanted to do to that boy. Like I was kinky as a small child lol like damn you could do a lot more than hold my hand and let me give you innocent little cheek kisses.

We stayed together until freshmen year of high school where I was bored with how slow things were going so I broke up with him. It probably didn’t help that I was starting to question my gender then either.  I told my mom I thought I wanted to be a boy and she shot that down real quick “You’re a girl and cant be a boy” so I ended up trying to cut off all my hair until it was so fucked she had to give me a buzzcut and I ended up looking like a hard core butch lesbian for a semester)

Second boyfriend was this skinny dude like only an inch taller than me and I was 5’3 at the time. I wrote down love song lyrics and gave them to him to ask him out. Im romantic like that lol. We dated for a while and I guess we just grew apart. He wouldn’t do much more than kiss me occasionally and I was like damn yall how do I keep getting these innocent Victorian straight boys. But he was cute and I still see him around town much to my embarrassment. Idk why im embarrassed so much maybe I feel bad that he thought he was dating a girl and im not?

Next boyfriend was a bi emo guy named Justice. I dated him mainly because he was the only bi guy I knew at my school in rural redneck Virginia lol he ended up being really kinky and kinda weirdly intense.  Like the fun part was he didn’t mind that I was all for sitting in the back of the anime club/computer classroom and tryina get down. The weird part was that he had the idea to write Real Person fanfiction staring ourselves as like vampires because he had a major biting kink and was really emo and thought he was goth but rural VA is a hard place to be goth when all your clothes come from walmart. But he was really intense like he had our entire lives planned out in the fanfic and actually went a bought me a ring  , gold with a pearl setting, that I immediately lost because why would you give me a ring??? Nah so I got real disinterested in Justice and planned to break up with him. I actually ended up cheating on him sort of. My class went on a field trip to Jamestown famous school tour site all Virginian probably had to go to. And one of my classmates/kind of friends was this really hot guy with this shaggy blonde hair and this wiry lanky body and was this laid back hot stoner type and I really liked him so I sat next to him on the bus ride and seduced him through out the whole trip until we stopped in this little shopping mall on the way back to school. I was walking around one of the department stores and saw him trying one underwear of all things lol he invited me to help him pick out a new pair of tight good looking underwear and I agreed and slipped into the changing room while he was putting them on and ended up giving him a hand job he was grateful lol. Then we went back to the bus and pretended like nothing happened but there was already a rumor going around the buses that somebody had sex in the store. A few days later Justice actually broke up with me because he felt that I was “acting different” and I probably was simply because I wasn’t attracted to him any more.

Between dating Justice and the next guy I did have my first kiss with a girl! She was so pretty with silky black hair in a bob and dark blue eyes and the palest skin. She dressed in rave clothes all the time and sometimes wore fairy wings and cloaks to school. She was delightfully strange but moved to florida I think but we were saying goodbye by the schools front doors and when it was my turn I gave her a tight hug and she turned her face and gave me a kiss and I was just wow kissing girls is so nice. Speaking of girls, I also had a huge crush on president of the anime club. She was so tall and really thin with a few curves, but she was really confident and funny and just made you feel at ease and I could’ve seen myself dating her easily but she was dating someone else but im pretty sure she might have been bi but she graduated and moved to Washington state to be a masseuse.

Next boyfriend was extremely religious and also wanted to get married. I was against getting married so young, really against converting to southern baptism and definitely against having kids. Pregnancy has always freaked me out mostly because I don’t like pain and don’t want to be in pain and in general everything about reproduction freaks me out idk why. But I really wanted him. He had these nice big and rough hands and was so warm all the time. He was also really sweet. But I broke up with him because I couldn’t do the religious thing It was Too Much™.

After dating him though I had this huge crush on this girl a year younger than me in me creative writing class. She was gothic in a very flowery dark fairy type way and I loved it she was also had a huge gay crush on my female friend who I can confirm is very beautiful with long dyed red hair and olive skin and this soft husky voice that would be perfect for a late night radio talk show where you call in about relationship problems. But anyways the girl I had a crush on was named Sage and she was beautiful  with her long blonde hair and her light green eyes and small everything she was very thin like scarily thin she actually had an eating disorder that we tried to help her with and she could reach her hand behind her ribs and grip the bottom of her ribs it was creepy to look at. She wrote beautiful and dark poems and never seemed to mind that my crush took the form of hugging her and resting against her as often as I could. She never seemed interested in me though I think she was actually fatphobic or maybe she was just femme for femme I dunno but I graduated and nev er saw her again so whatever.

After I graduated high school I decided to go to a traditionally womens college. My roommate was ace and like the first openly ace person I had ever met and she was really cool and introduced me to the idea of being ace but at the time I was decidedly bi and later pan once some more friends introduced me to tumblr and I started openly learning about gender and sexuality. All my friends were really hot that I met at college and I probably would have been down to date any of them except for the girl that I met through the anime club who also really liked the anime Hetalia. We could get together and watch episodes and read a variety of fanfictions ranging from family type things to kinky sex shit we were very close and im sure that a lot of people thought we were dating or at least fooling around together. We actually met each other at a Virginia anime convention where the anime club people went in a group and I went separately with some friends from high school (the best part of the experience was the wafflehouse in the hotel parking lot) but me and my friend got together at the con and went back to my groups hotel room to gush over the merch we had found and watch some anime together. I was in a closet cosplay that consisted of booty shorts and tied button up shirt so I had a lot of skin showing and we were sitting on the bed by ourselves until my friends came back and they all thought we had sex like no she was very attractive and had really nice curves but girl needed to shower more often because unfortunately she had a smell to her that I just didn’t like. I think she was interested in dating me but she ended up having financial problems of some sort and couldn’t come back to school the next year.

After she left school I came out as trans and got closer to the core group of the college anime club. They were all really hot except for the vegetarian one but she had a boyfriend and didn’t seem to like me much anyways so whatever. I also dated this one girl in my graduation class for like three days over the summer but she broke up with me because she was again a southern Baptist and couldn’t honestly date a trans person because it somehow went against god or some shit. That person has since come out as trans masculine. But anyways next person I dated was this smoking hot older girl who only wore skirts. She was southern Baptist and straight but I had to try even if I never got to be anything other than her creepy friend who everybody knew had a crush on her. She surprisingly was interested in dating me so we started going out. We went on dates around town to explore and see new stores and went to the park and shit was great we had kisses and cuddles and fun cute dates and sexy times but we also clashed a lot over mostly miscommunication. It didn’t help that I was on a medicine that once I started taking it regularly like I was supposed to my sex drive dropped to nonexistent. We fought over this a few times but still planned to try to get an apartment off campus the next year. I thought she was being too clingy by texting me pretty often that summer. I was in a bad mood all of that summer though. We broke up and got back together over the phone probably at least three times before deciding to break up for good. Sometimes I wonder what would have happened if we had stayed together because when we weren’t fighting we had a lot of fun and I told her things I hadn’t told anybody before, I felt safe.

The next person I dated didn’t go so well. This was a friend from the colleges LARP club that also had people from the community or it was a community club that extended to the college kids and just ended up being held on campus but that’s how we met. She had a very butch androgynous look but I just really liked her personality no matter how hot she looked in her leather jacket. So we started off as LARP friends and then I worked up the nerve to ask for her number and just texted her about random things and we ended up talking about how much we both like coffee so that turned into a coffee date at the local dunkin and it was a lot of fun and we had a few more dates like that and things were looking good. A few friends that knew both of us warned me that she didn’t normally go for men but I had talked to her myself and was like that a lie and you don’t know what youre talking about ok so we hung out for a few months going slow and not really relationship dating. Around the time I was thinking of asking her to be a couple my mental health deteriorated and I ended up being hospitalized. I tried calling her once to keep up the habit of talking at night through text since I couldn’t text at the time but I think me being in the “cr*zy ward” freaked her out because 1) the phone call did not go well and was never tried again and 2) once I got out of the hospital I texted her to see if she was interested in picking up where we left off and she shut me down saying she just wanted to be friends. Of course not even a month later I found out that she and the girl I had dated for over a year were now dating. This bothered me for a long time and I was constantly wondering if I was too cr*zy to date somebody or it was because I was trans a whole bunch of self hatred type thoughts. I eventually got over it (mostly)

Then I didn’t date anybody until last year. I started texting my friend Cat from high school (back then we had a very cute James Potter Severus Snape thing going on where the characters were dating but we weren’t) and I learned that they were agender and ace and I thought it over and determined that I was ridiculously attracted to them and didn’t mind being in a nonsexual relationship because at the time I was still pretty sex repulsed myself besides for reading kinky fanfiction and getting myself off every once in a while. So We went on a friends date in the spring to see Zootopia and it was so much fun and they were so cute in their leggings and hoodie with their windblown cropped hair dyed dark red. I asked them if they wanted to date and they said yes so we went on our first official date (a hike up an abandoned walking trail where we both got covered in ticks and I had to stop and stretch out a bad leg cramp, then we got lunch at a cute vegetarian café in town and went to the town park to hang out. We sat in the grass and listened to Florence and the Machine songs and smiled at each other looking cute. We then got milkshakes and learned that we still had ticks on us from the hick and they took me home and gave me a sweet kiss goodbye with the promise of more dates in the future). Over the summer we hung out a lot because they and their mom were moving from the house they had lived in for years to a house a county over and I volunteered to help with the moving of the last few belongings. Maybe 5 trips all together, but it was a good time every day we got to see each other. We would comfortable hang out in their old house packing things up and taking our time and then we would take the forty five minute drive to the new house listening to whatever queer music we could find and save to playlists.  Then we would cuddle on their couch after taking the days moving things inside and find something nice to eat on the way back to my house. I visited their college a few times (another traditionally women’s college) and met their friends who were also agender and queer and very cute people indeed. I enjoyed all the time I spent with Cat. Cat also helped me realize I was leaning more towards being a demiguy than strictly binary trans and that it was okay if I was ace, that sexuality can be fluid. Our relationship was very intimate and domestic and I loved it, especially the tight hugs and long slow kisses I would get each time we met and each time we had to say goodbye. I fell in love with Cat and because we didn’t see each other all the time and there was no pressure to maintain a sexual relationship I felt I could maintain those feelings I had for cat for a long time. We dated up until August of 2017 when they texted me and let me know they felt they were not only agender and asexual but also felt aromantic and would prefer to be platonic as they couldn’t keep up with the demands of a relationship. This devastated me. I took a week off from school to lie at home and let myself deal with the depression this brought. Im over Cat now. I enjoyed what we had but Im happy being friends though our ideas of friendship are different but that’s another textpost entirely.

I recently went to Charlottesville Pride 2017 with my friends that are the couple where I dated both and now they are happily dating each other and one of their other trans friends and it was so much fun. I think the act of getting a bag of free condoms reawakened my sex drive somehow?? Because now I would totally be down to get sex from anybody I was attracted to?? And im attracted to a lot more people than I usually am?? Like it was my friend Ness’s birthday a few weeks ago and she invited the same trans friend that went to pride with us to come and she brought her cousin with her and damn. Her cousin was the cutest and got so drunk like baby no you gotta stop while its still fun. So he’s agender and gave me his Snapchat and Im just…crushing so hard…hes too cute. But also I’ve been talking to people on OKCupid and everyones just so attractive (not the cismen tho neither the hets or gays wanna hit it so fuck em I don’t need that kind of negativity in my life) and all these tumblr people are cute and I wanna date everybody but everybody live like at least three hours away and it makes me sad because nobody seems to wanna try a long distance type thing which I would be up for.

So tl;dr:  if youre reading this and you think im cute, message me and ill tell you what all we could do together  ;)

Im a biromantic greyace chubby transmasculine enby and i like all body types and most personality types lol

[zhuhongs]

Ignore this it's not that deep

Tumblr is a bitch that wont let me put a read more it’s just 1 am and I’m thinking..dont actually read rgu us I just need to get it out there

Okay I cant sleep so I’m returning to trying to translate this vlive and like..I dont speak korean. I learned like a bunch of words over the years from various transfer students I knew in school (idk why or how but i was always buddies with all the transfer kids like, i was just randomly choosen to show them around and eat lunch with them even from like elementary school) and like…the little bit of lingo deer lessons I did for fun. But like I generally understand what they’re talking about for the entire thing. Like I get abt 55 percent of what they’re saying but I’m not confident in like..translating it bc I’m not sure what to translate literally and what to translate colloquially. Bc like korean is p different from english and I’m not anywhere near good at korean. I get a few words and string the rest of the conversation together. Also i’m doing this while my mom is asleep so i can’t speak words that i have never heard before into google translate and yandex translate and hope that something helpful comes up. And I feel weird trying to like..make these like the legit fansubs for it bc like..idk how bad I’m doing this or what I’m missing. So like…im doing a duwang translation of this vlive bc i just rlly want to know what they are talking about bc like…they are my new emotional support kpop boys of the month.. And yeah i’m rlly wingin it and hoping it works but like..theres legit only like 3 ppl that do onewe subs so it’s way better than nothing bc i’m actually trying but damn I appreciate fan translators so much more now that I’ve even tried to imitate what they do. And I hella respected translators before this bc like i know that manga translations and book translations can be SOO HARD and hhhh god why did i think i was anywhere near qualified to try this in korean. 

Typically when i want to like rlly practice a langauge i will just go in raw and translate it in my head to english. I do that for manga and anime bc my japanses is pretty good and i did that for fanfic written in spanish but like…im actually good at those langauges. Like i legit DONT FUCKING KNOW KOREAN….hhh anyways i am tired and im dumbass but i want to be an educated dumbass but i cant commit to anything so i do everything half assed and its not that deep but this is very reflective of how my decision making works for legit everthing and hhhhhhhhh also i think iwoke up my mother with my rlly load keyboard typing and i hope no one seriously reads this. like theres nothing wrong with it i just needed to put my every feeling into words bc thats how i am and no one seriously needs to know this, its just 1 am and i am angry that i can never commit to anything fully.