#im not caught up on dr 2 part 2 so idk if theres been any developments there. im assuming no

[sizzymissed]

do u guys think its doing something terrible to zane's psyche that he lost another significant chunk of time, even though this time it's bc he was comatose

[moonshxdows]

book 2 trailer analysis

ill be posting some screencaps of the trailer sometime tomorrow as well so keep an eye out!

AAAAAAAAAAA ITS HERE!!!!!!

okay so a quick rewatch before I go through it frame by frame and just. god im so excited i love this show so much

anyways everything's gonna be under the cut bc its long and spoilery if u havent seen the trailer yet

okay so the opening clip looks like its in a human town. dragang is being chased across the bridge by some angry humans with pitchforks. raylas wearing the human cape. they got caught?

some clips from s1

okay. ezran ellis and zym are outside this white building. its shaped similarly to the star elf buildings we see later on. did they have to sit out some stuff that rayla and callum got to see? or is this like. lujanne's house or something

the fire (?) dragon is coming down on "a town of katolis" that soren is in. im assuming this isnt near the castle and claudia is there but out of frame, so did they get caught up in something on accident or were the dragons drawn to them because of the spell? lujanne recognized it, the dragons might too

wife (sunfire knight)

if my blog wasnt more cool toned that would be my new header oh my god

in the upper left corner of the screen theres a castle. there aren't any human kingdoms that are on the banks of a lava waterfall so is that an elf castle? or is this the place where all the royals got that fire background?

im dumb thats probably a halfway castle and the lava river is the border i forgot they said border over this

fuck off vitriol

elves attacking amaya and her squadron. these are likely the sunfire elves at the border, since amaya is also at the border. the castle in the last shot is probably more of a fortress

wife kicking ass! w her cool ass sword

something i noticed about the sunfire elves, or at least the warriors. the headdresses they wear are actually armor to protect their horns! they also have markings/tattoos like moonshadow elves, but they seem less elaborate (at least on their face)

does this mean horns are as important in all elf races or just sunfire elf races?

opeli ur the only bitch in this house i trust. is viren keeping the missions w the brodigies under wraps or does opeli think that's not enough?

boat! are they on their way to evenere?

awe

star elf bitch there u are u sexy bastard. zi @moonxadia made a fantastic theory on that elf here, but tl;dr that's elarion being shady (as much as ive liked the aaravos theories i dont think thats him)

viren being shady (spell had similar look as star elf from last clip)

RAYLA I MISSED YOU

zym i would die for you

the background to that looks interesting- are they having a big dinner of some sort?

ik other people have said this but that's definetly runaans strike crew from early s1. the very dead strike crew. zombie elves!

also if they touch a hair on aanyas head i Will Cry she looks so small in that throne...

(altho they dont really seem to be attacking her at all?)

okay so i know people have been saying the on fire shot are elves but i really dont think so. none of them have horns or the sunfire headdresses. i think that's a human army

AZYMONDIAS THE FUTURE MOST POWERFUL BEING IN THE WORLD I WOULD TAKE A BULLET FOR YOU IN A HEARTBEAT

(its another moon moth. same one as from earlier in the trailer?)

so in the shot of dragang on The Bird, callum looks really upset. like, seriously upset. this might be part of a joke bc hes holding bait, but im worried

ezran baby boy. hes so worried

zym!!!! i love you!!!!!!!

these pillars look real cool. is this a magic place?

okay so runaans deceased elf crew again, but pre-zombification (or post?) did lujanne summon them? is it a moon elf thing? why are they stars? is it a star elf clearing?

so zoom out, theyre in these... gazebos? made of starlight? nothing to comment it just looks real cool

hey claudia maybe... not.

im very concerned that when claudia said "you take creatures that are born with magic inside and squeeze it out of them" it panned over zym briefly

callum looked concerned so im hoping its a flashback of some sort? but they look like theyre in an elf place... idk. im worried about him this season

i know i said what i said but dark magic claudia is hot

wtf was that thing tho

rayla is suspicious™ (and she should be tbh)

sword fight!! im both excited and scared

callum is having a rough time and i want to hug him

thankfully raylas there

so a lot of people have said this but i do think thats because of harrow, not the dark magic. idk why i think that but. shrug

so i wanna talk about the audio playing over these last few bullets real quick. rayla says they cant trust soren and claudia, followed immediately by lujanne saying "real trust is about accepting the dark parts we will never know" which makes me curious. did brodigies and catch up with dragang while they were still with lujanne? since the group splits sometime during the season

if it is the case im curious how theyre gonna go from hating elves to being in a traveling party with 2 of them and a baby dragon

and if thats not the case, what is lujanne talking about?

wait i just had a really horrible thought what if they lied to win dragang's trust and rayla is the only one that's suspicious

moving on,

rayla and callum both look Real Concerned wtf are they talking about

so it looks like lujanne is leading callum to some Elf Thing; maybe its right before she shows him the star elf ghosts? it does look to be around sunset

DRAGON QUEEN???

even if its not tHATS THE POSTER DRAGON HELLO!!!!

rayla i will never not love you

EZRAN I WILL NEVER NOT LOVE YOU

sarai Hes Not Worth It

im excited about flashbacks though 👀

hello lord voltron. perish.

okay so thats the same fire dragon from earlier, but w its face all cut up. soren was prepared to go sword vs dragon and i think he won

"watch yo fuckin dog bitch" "he dont bite" "yES HE DO"

thats the vibe coming from that wolf/badger thing. also that guy screaming at the cat in his backyard

but fr what is that

thunder kinda looks like voldemort from this angle ngl

okay. okay. dark magic callum is a go

buddy what the FUCK do you think youre doing

ive seen some things saying that he's being controlled but i dont think so. i think he listened to claudia and im very curious to see how this affects his relationship with rayla

i think he was missing being the mage? which is why he tried to learn primal magic from lujanne but failed ultimately

depending on the theory, i wonder how people will spin half-elf!callum for this

i dont actually know if elves can even use dark magic fjnshfk like i assume they can but?? who knows

fire golem?? and who has the sword

my bad theres soren v dragon i thought it was earlier

mr fire dragon sir how the fuck did you lose. you have teeth? claws? wings? presumably fire powers?

AAAAAAAAAA TWO WEEKS!!!!!!!

[br0kenbutterfly]

15/5/2017

So its 2am, its fucking freezing cold, but I have to write this because if I dont, itll be just like all the other stuff I look back on and wish I had some recollection of how I felt. Like all my childhood diaries that I started. Or the abandoned derby tumblr thats still lurking somewhere. Anyway.

I had my initial appointment with a surgeon today about weight loss surgery. I’ve been thinking about surgery since about 2013, and seriously for the last 9 months or so. I’ve talked to several people who have had various surgeries (including mum, my friend and a friend of my aunts), and done my research. Ive discussed this with my (awesome amazing wonderful) GP, and our work counsellor Ann-Marie, who are both incredibly supportive. I’m paying for this surgery privately, which cuts hugely into the savings Ive accumulated since I was 15 for a house, but I can wait for a house. Every year I don't do this is a year Im kinda wasting my youth on being huge and not happy and making excuses for not doing things Id like to do. Not that Im unhappy all the time, but my weight is a safety blanket, kinda like my depression was my safety blanket for not leaving oamaru. I just dont wanna wait until Im accepted into public surgery (which Ive been on the list for since 2013) because at that point Ill probably be in my 50s and have so many health issues. Like for goodness sake, im 26 and I have pre-diabetes, polycystic ovaries that mean im probs infertile, a perpetually sore back that means i cant walk for more than a block without having to stop, my knees and ankles give out randomly. Anyway. Im rambling. 

My appointment was with Dr Flint, who I chose because thats who my friend had surgery with (and because the other guy was the one who did my consult for public surgery and he was a right royal douche). He was lovely, and explained both procedures (roux-en-y and gastric sleeve) really well. Im going to have a gastric sleeve, because the ongoing risk of complications like IBS and hernias are smaller (and because you dont have to be on vitamins for life and my god i hate taking meds). He weighed me - ive put on like 5kg since i last weighed myself (fuck) but to be fair i did have my docs on. So my offical starting weight is 157.8kg, which is a terrifying number and also this is probably the first time ive admitted my weight to anyone who isnt a medical professional in a long long time holy shit. Apparently if everything goes well i should be around 95kg afterwards (like 2 years away).

After I went through everything with the surgeon, I saw his nurse? receptionist? general fucking awesome person Denise. Shes so lovely. She talked me through the appointments I need to have next (which tbh is part of the reason I want to to it privately, because i know its not just about the surgery, its about learning to live as a smaller person, and i fucking dont know how to eat properly, and id really like to do some exercises that dont hurt my damn back all the time). So I have to see the dietician, and an exercise consultant, and a psychiatrist, and then back to the surgeon for pre-op appt. My surgery is scheduled for the 11th July, which means Ill be on preop diet from like, the 13th June I think? I might buy some optifast and try it for some breakfasts first. Im so not looking forward to that bit.

Then because I was like, nervous as fuck after my appointment, I went and cuddled ellas tiny humans and then talked to laura and watched sense8. 

My biggest fears at the moment are:

-me fucking this up. like what if i cat do it, if my willpower is awful, and i screw it up and throw $20k down the drain. How shit will I feel about myself if the surgery doesnt work, because theres not really any more drastic options. what if i put all the weight back on like my uncle, or drink frozen coke and dont eat protein like my mum

-mum. i havent told her yet....im telling her tomorrow. im worried shes gunna be weird about it. not in a “you shouldnt have the surgery” kinda of way, im worried she will want to know how much i weigh, and give me well meaning comments about how i shouldnt be eating this or that, or go the other way and want to have a massive blowout before i start optifast. 

-who do i tell? apart from the internel lol (im guessing only like 3 people i know in real life will read this). do i tell my dad? i should but again, im so worried about what he’ll think, how he’ll judge me. 

-i think in general im so used to the comments about my weight that im really caught up with it as part of my identity? Like I hate all the health and fitness ads because it just reminds me of me not being fit and healthy, but i wonder if some part of me likes being fat to be a rebel, because some weird part of me feels like im failing by conforming to societys (and my dads) wishes about how i look and act. idk. 

- hahahahahh optifast. ive heard it tastes awful and i have 6 weeks of it, then purees (goodie), then soft food. also imma have to eat veggies. fuck.

I’m excited about:

-being able to maybe actually skate well?! being able to do general things like run after izzy or go for a bike ride with people without being like yeah nah i cant do that because it hurts. itd be nice to walk up the stairs without looking like ive run a half marathon. id be nice to walk to work without my back cramping up so bad i have to stop and stretch it several times. 

-im kinda looking forward to meeting with the exercise person. I see a lot of people in the #GRRLarmy and stuff and I want to be strong, but I am terrified of the gym and im really hoping shell be able to help and be a good motivation

-the dietician will be good to because lord knows im terrible at cooking for myself no matter how many well meaning people try and teach me. i just wish i didnt have to eat. 

-possibly having lower food bills - currently i spend like a quarter of my income on food which is ridiculous and i dont know how to stop.

Right so that was a novel. Now its 3am and i have to go talk to my boss and ask her for time off for 5 preop appointments in the next 6 weeks, as well as hi im going to need 2 weeks off work lololol. Oh, and tell my mum im having major surgery in 6 weeks and i didnt tell her i had an appointment to talk about it. whoops. wish me luck x

[idkitshiro]

Mar.11 ,2017  2:23 pm

as im trying to looking forward, a part of me is whispering failure.. can I make something, something beautiful, something inspiring, encouraging? to spread a heartfelt smile on somebody’s face, reassuring whoever is behind their computer screen there is reason, no matter how stupid or small it is, to laugh or smile. I want to remind people how video games are really meant to be played, what creates the pro environment and  competition in the first place, showing them how to have fun with their video games, showing them how to enjoy spending their free time so that its at least not wasted. If I can leave at least one thing to take away and let people know they feel reassured, loved, supported, not alone then all the time I put into the videos im making have been worth my time.  Acts of kindness, sportsmanship good cheer. Make them feel like holy crap this makes me want to play this game

Here i go as I just write down whatever im thinking about:

some of the funnest games I really enjoyed playing as a kid: Super Smash bros melee: at first had all my favorite characters from different games EVER , kirby, pikachu, mario, all these nintendo characters like Link, Fire emblem’s marth and roy, so much variety Pokemon: such a fun adventure, not having much access to the internet , the world was magical, every corner was a new surprise. There were random Pokeballs on the floor, instances where your in game rival would show up and challenge you to a battle with his own unique pokemon.  the pokemon I had felt unique, the team I had felt special and I bonded with these pokemon. I didnt have in mind what my friends or any one else who also played the video game what strategies or pokemon they thought were good and were their own personal favorite. The competition element fair and exciting because there weren’t many popular guides or communities and forums that people were aware of. Internet spoiled the fun because it exposed many of the surprises and secrets of the game. It almost was as if there was a person sitting next to me telling me how they already beat the game, caught all 150 pokemon telling me which pokemon were trash and not worth my time, the perfect IVs and proper way of how to make the strongest team possible. Though they may be right it totally killed my joy for the game, stripping of the surprise and wonder element video games used to hold as this now apple is to almost every other video game. and altho the right answer is to not focus and compare my self to the people surrounding me its like someone standing right behind me saying video games are FAKE, WASTE OF TIME. So spending my free time trying to  Man people need to pay less attention to how others are spending their time playing video games. MANNN you’re winning if you’re enjoying your time having fun whether kicking ass, accomplishing a hard puzzle or challenge, discover something rare on your own again i guess thats added to your personal merit, get a good laugh, listening to good music, reminds you of something important to you whether its through story telling and the music, whether its learning more about experiences and other people around you. Theres so much video games could teach you, what you could learn from. like many other hobbies or people like to do on their spare time, video games are another outlet of creating happy memories, memories that could be shared with the people we love. I find my self exploring all these different video games to try and remember why I fell in love with video games when I was a lot younger. What made it so exciting and fun, and when I let something else rob me of that joy. I remember when I was in elementary school my brother and I had our own Gameboy Colors. I had purple one given from my Auntie and my brother had a neon Green gameboy color that was given from our grandpa’s brother, i guess granduncle. Both of us had our seperate Pokemon version where Pokemon Red was my first video game ever and my brother had Pokemon Yellow.  anyways my mom would only allow us to play for an hour or two a day and I just remember my sister wanting to play pokemon too and so I let her play mine, and althouhg i wasnt playing I really enjoyed watching them just play. I felt so happy that we were all able to play together even if I was just watching my brother thumb through his starting Pokemon team in Saffron city. Idk why thats so vivid. We had to share alot things growing up, rooms, 1 hour turns on the computer, hand me down clothes, Gamecube turns. i remember i bought a tv plugin game which was star wars/ spongebob that didnt need a console. it had 5 games in it , but crowding around the small tv in me and my brothers room playing video games together.. i miss that so much. i just wanted us to get along and have fun. 

god i always hear people saying that their entire life they were losers and the bullied kid, but did they ever have a fanny pack with 100 calorie Special K bars on 1,000 diet imitating their favorite Taijustus specialist? (Rock Lee Image) I used to be obssesed with my eating only 1,000 calories a day because I was pretty chunky in middle school. One time in PE we had to do our quarterly mile run and I remember always dreading these big days. Every week we had to run around the track for 20 minutes, no walking, and see how many laps you could run in that time. We were graded on how many laps we could run, 6 laps was  D , 7 Laps was a C , 8 Laps was a B, 9 and more was an A. I dreaded every single week for these 20 minute runs, but I celebrated super heavily after it we were done. I was always super nervous and anxious thinking about these days because I always forced myself to do my absolute best. I hated the thought of competing with the people next to me. I used to run 10 laps and my best being 11 laps, which I thought was insanely good. The fastest was I think 12 or 13 laps but they werent in my class. I suppose I felt proud of what I accomplished, my classmates thought I was fast. I would wear shorts everyday in middle school. In 4th and 5th grade I used to run 3 miles every day in the summer with my grandpa and sometimes my sister  because I came home one day from a a Dr.’s Checkup saying that my cholesterol was pretty high. Seperate from my school’s 5k I only entered one 5k run with my grandpa who did the 7k run. I felt horrible because I was just overweight and I didnt find myself that attractive. God, especially when your older brother was more handsome had abs and biceps since 5th grade.  ashjdkasld yeah this is where my self esteem issues come from, but anyways, I was complimented on my  buldgy calves. They were pretty big, for a big boy like my self. I remember one time when runnign the 20 minute run I always thought about falling over and getting hurt so I didnt have to run, mentally I wanted to just stop myself from pushing my body. ashdbjnka My best mile time was 5:37 by the way. When it was raining and they made us stay inside our school’s gym, playing dodgeball. I WAS SO HAPPY. I would pray that it would rain enough so that the track would be too wet where we all the PE classes would have to walk around the basketball quarts and then the other  half o the class would have to play basketball. I WAS ALWAYS SUPER EXCITED. Those were the best days regular days of school. of course not more exciting than Game days, honor-roll Bingo , or field trips of course AHAHA One time I brought I red chocolate balls that I got from people standing in front of safeway that were wrapped neatly in this plastic bag. I gave some to my friends before we ran, thinking wow we could be just like Choji and his ration pellets. Jesus. It was just concentrated choclate balls of sugar.   -- It was pretty good tho. Middle school was awesome. I did whatever I wanted no matter how uncool people thought it was. I thought that just doing what I loved was the coolest thing ever. I used to read the Shonen Jump manga magazines and I was reading the YugiOh Gx weekly chapter and Jesus H. christ it looked so fun. The next day I talked to my friend who was fanatic about Yugioh and he helped me create a deck. The next two years FUHHHH our whole friend group was playing yugioh. It felt like some anime, going home editing decks, dueling in my friends garage drinking cans of Dr. Pepper and honey Twisted BBQ chips. Playing some Halo 3 and Pokemon Stadium 2 on the side. IT WAS SO FUN. When we would have a party in class or potluck I’d get 4 cups of Pepsi, Plateful of Doritos , Lays and Hot cheetos and my friends and I would whip out our decks. Living the life. At the time the Wii , xbox 360 and itouch were very popular. I didnt have a smart phone til the end of my high school and wasnt until my freshman year in high school that I bought my own prepaid phone and minutes and texting plans. anyways the only console my brother and sister i had was teh game cube so these consoles were treasures whenever I would go over to my friends house after school. there was also this one time in middle school where our homeroom teacher allowed 4 people from our AVID class, and at the time I thought AVID students were the smartest collection of indivuals in our school, to go around campus picking up recyables such as cans and bottles so we could sell and add to our class field trip fundraiser. At first our teacher assigned us only 10 minutes and expected us to comeback. 10 minutes of missing class was amazing. My group of friends and I felt so free, so powerful, passing the doors of other classrooms and students, walking where we shouldnt be. And when we would comeback she would reward us with homemade cookies. HOLY, our teacher was so kind. I cant remember if this was a daily thing, but we did this each time we had class. But every time we would come back deliberatly a little later. From intially 10 minutes we started coming back 15 minutes later, then 20. And I kid you not we started going out “recycling” for the entire class period which was about 50 minutes. IT WAS AMAZING. And we may had been in middle school, but we werent dumb. We were AVID students. Advancement via indpendent determination. We were the futures most brightest, up and coming. So we were thinking if we could somehow find more cans and bottles to fill up our garbage bags itd be more than enough reason to explain why we were coming back later than we were orginally suppose to. So initally we would invite ourselves to other classrooms tell the teacher ‘we’re reclying, dw , were supposed to be here’ and go through their blue bins and take whatever cans and bottles we can add it to our bags. Then we started looking at the larger reclye bins in the shcools court yard and just take all the bottles in their. Realistically it took no more than 5 minutes to fill a garbage bag filled with cans and bottles, but we would spend the rest of our vacation racing each other on our school’s track and kick each other on the school’s monkey bars. Jesus. it was so fun. my life feels pretty defeated right now, so I just wanted to share with