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jackiejacks923 · 4 years ago

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A Story to Tell the Kids

Prompt: “It’s the wrong color.” - @challengingwords

Pairing: Shownu x reader feat. Minhyuk, Hyungwon & IM

A/N: So I somehow accidentally made a series without even realizing that I did...lol. My brain surprises me sometimes. In this story, we revisit the world of the Chang siblings that were introduced in an earlier fic. Check the masterlist for the corresponding stories. I’ll be updating that soon. I hope you enjoy <3

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“Uncle Min!” you heard ChangMi exclaim from the patio facing the beach, “It’s the wrong color! The sky is not purple!”

You and Hyunwoo laughed from the kitchen as you prepared the meat and side dishes to cook on the grill of the vacation home you rented. ChangMi was painting a landscape side by side with her Uncle Minhyuk and ChangGun was on the beach burying a sleeping Uncle Hyungwon with the assistance from his Uncle Changkyun. You were glad that at least a few of your husband’s brothers could join you and the kids on this short summer getaway.

“ChangMi, it’s called ‘creativity’,” you heard Minhyuk explain to your daughter as you and Hyunwoo brought out the food and he started up the grill. “It doesn’t have to be exactly like what you see with your eyes. It could be what you see in your head and heart.”

ChangMi tilted her head in thought as she continued to paint her light blue sky. “So you have purple skies in your head?”

“Yup,” Minhyuk answered, “And yellow whales, and pink water, and a blue sun.” He painted such a picture as he described it and he was rewarded with a giggling ChangMi.

“Uncle Min,” she said as she put down her paintbrush and stood to wrap her arms around her uncle’s neck as he painted, “you have a pretty happy place.” Minhyuk smiled as he placed a kiss on the little girl’s cheek.

You walked to look over the balcony and check on ChangGun with his uncles since it was unusually quiet. Years of experience has taught you that quiet is not always a good thing. You discovered the small mound of sand on top of Hyungwon had taken a different shape. You quickly took out your phone and snapped a picture of the turtle shell in the sand that Changkyun helped design with ChangGun. How Hyungwon stayed asleep through it all astounded you, but for as long as you had known him, you knew this wasn’t unusual.

Knowing that your kids were thoroughly preoccupied with different activities and bonding with their uncles, you went back to Hyunwoo’s side at the grill to help him cook.

“It’s nice to know this place hasn’t changed much, right?” Hyunwoo commented as you were making skewers to place on the grill.

You nodded in agreement. “We have a lot of memories with this place, don’t we?”

You felt Hyunwoo’s arm wrap around your waist and pulled you in to place a kiss on your temple. “We do.” You smiled up at your husband before he turned his attention back to the grill.

The smell of the meat grilling soon spread and moments later a laughing ChangGun in the arms of an equally laughing Changkyun came up the steps to the patio followed by a sandy Hyungwon which made everybody laugh.

“I’m gonna go take a shower,” he said as he dragged his feet across the patio and into the house.

“Uncle Hyungwon dirty,” ChangGun laughed.

“I think he’ll think twice about sleeping around us, right Gunnie?” Changkyun said as he tickled the little boy’s tummy, who laughed and happily agreed with his uncle.

The pair then began to take their seats at the table you began to set with ChangMi and Minhyuk joining shortly after. Hyunwoo brought the cooked meat over right on time for Hyungwon to return from cleaning up and joining the rest of the family.

“We should plan for a whole reunion here next time,” Minhyuk suggested as you all ate.

“It has been a while since the whole group was here together,” you added.

“Have you been here before Uncle Min?” ChangMi asked as she took a bite from her plate.

Minhyuk nodded. “Your dad and your other uncles and your aunties and mommy would come out here every summer in college.”

“Oooohhh,” the little girl replied.

“This is a special place for mommy and daddy, too,” Changkyun revealed.

“Why is it special?” ChangMi asked curiously.

You and Hyunwoo then looked at each other as the events of that fateful summer came back to you as vividly as it was yesterday.

You found yourself around the beach bonfire. Your sorority sisters had given you a makeover after finding out some info that one of the guys you invited from the fraternity, MuChi, actually harbored a crush on you. They were determined to find out who. Unfortunately, the outfit Dasom and Bora had picked out wasn’t very warm.

“You look cold,” Hoseok commented as he offered you his hoodie. You started thinking that maybe the outfit was strategically planned after all.

“Thank you,” you said as you pulled it over your head. As you were putting your arms through, you pondered over the thought you didn’t even notice he had a hoodie with him to begin with. He took the seat next to you and you felt a nudge from Soyou from your other side. You began some small talk with him since you didn’t want to be stuck in awkward silence for the rest of the night.

“Shall we start some games?” Hyolyn then loudly suggested. The group was in agreement and started to form a small circle next to the bonfire that was keeping you all warm from the ocean breeze. Hyolyn started with the word association rhythm game and each person that messed up would have to do a penalty. You all laughed as each loser executed each penalty, whether it be a shot of soju or some other ridiculous penalty request the group agreed upon.

Then came the moment where you messed up the rhythm and had to execute your penalty.

“Aegyo!!!” Hyolyn yelled out before bursting into a fit of laughter and the rest of your sisters betrayed you by agreeing this would be your penalty. So much for solidarity.

You looked around as you reluctantly stood up to see all eyes eagerly set upon you. You closed your own and took the deepest breath you could while quickly executing the best aegyo you could muster in 5 seconds and promptly pulled the hood of your borrowed sweatshirt over your head and tied it closed. All you could hear were the group’s giggles and exclamations of “how cute” from all angles around you. You took a deep breath from inside the hoodie and took in the woodsy scent it held. You had never pegged Hoseok to be a woodsy type guy with his cologne scent, though. You became attached to this scent the more you breathed it in. It had such a calming effect on you.

You then felt a pat on your head and a voice close to your ear as you continued to hide. “That was really cute,” the soothing voice had told you. You eventually came out of your makeshift hoodie tent to see who it belonged to, but someone started the music and so dancing and drinking around the bonfire began and the owner of the voice was no longer at your side.

The ratio of guys to girls was off so you were all just aimlessly dancing. Until a song came on the speaker that you knew the choreography to and so you busted out in the dance moves. The group then began cheering for you. When you turned your head, you discovered you had a dance partner in this impromptu performance after all. You and Hyunwoo kept in sync through the whole thing which made you smile. The song ended and your friends applauded the two of you. You smiled at each other, but before either of you could say anything, you were pulled away in different directions by your friends dancing to the next song on the playlist.

After another hour or so of more bonfire celebrations, you excused yourself back to the beach house to call it a night. You were starting to feel the effects of the soju and were aware you were close to your limit and would eventually fall fast asleep.

“Y/N!” a voice called out to you. You turned around and saw Hyunwoo catching up to you. “I’ll walk you back.”

“Daddy then told me that the hoodie belonged to him and not Uncle Hoseok,” you told your daughter.

“And I built up the courage to finally ask mommy out on a date,” Hyunwoo added.

“A few years later we came back here for another summer celebration with everybody,” you continued.

“And that was the trip your uncles and aunties helped me plan my proposal to mommy,” Hyunwoo concluded.

“Wow,” your daughter eventually said as she leaned against her Uncle Minhyuk’s arm attentively listening to her parents' story.

Hyunwoo took your hand and brought it to his lips and placed a kiss on your knuckles. You smiled lovingly at him.

“Does that mean I might find the man I marry here, too?” ChangMi innocently asked. Her dad and her uncles focused their attention on her with shocked looks.

“Maybe one day, my darling,” you answered her.

“Not for many, many years though,” Hyunwoo added.

“When you’re 30,” Hyungwon suggested.

“Why 30?” Changkyun asked, “I say 40.”

“ChangMi,” Minhyuk said, “You don’t need any other guys. Just daddy and your uncles.” You and ChangMi laughed at the ridiculous responses her overprotective bodyguards had to her question.

You smiled at your daughter and prayed that maybe one day, this beach will hold a special meaning for her as it did for you...when the time was right.

#CWC17 #challenging words #cwchallenges

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mousehole5000 · 4 years ago

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the rest... of... book 4..... through chapter 225

i sad.

“He was lying to himself and lying to others! All nothing but deceit! No matter what, it was impossible to pretend nothing had ever happened, and it was impossible to return to before!!!” - i know :(

“Before Feng Xin went, he was afraid. Now that Feng Xin had gone, he wasn’t scared any longer. But, even though he wasn’t afraid anymore, he was in deeper agony.” - ah yes. being afraid of your friends leaving so you do things to drive them away so you can have something to point to and say that you were the one who made the choice and you dont have to fear it anymore. except that has never once worked out ever and turns out losing people just means you lost them and it still hurts. not that i would know or anything.....

“He saw upon the table there were a few plates of horrid-looking dishes that were now cold. They were what he made the queen take away without eating a single bite the night before. Now, he pulled them over absent-mindedly, and ate everything, not daring to leave behind a single leaf, afraid to miss a single grain of rice. After he ate he started puking.” - this broke me and the bad cooking isnt funny anymore :(

all this happens after they have money again. no further commentary on this chapter

i know for a lot of book 3 i just wanted hua cheng to go away but now i would give anything for wuming to come and interrupt these interactions with white no-face

“Lang Ying, a brute commoner, led an army and destroyed Xianle. With the aura of the king enveloping his body, ordinary evil wouldn’t be able to come close to his person. However, at this moment, what Xie Lian brought with him were millions of souls of those who died on the battlefield!” - interesting to think about this story from lang ying’s point of view. the bit about his wife and child... oh my god... the things we carry with us...

“Will it really be alright to leave him like this? How about, I give him a cup of water?” - cup of water motif is back... ouch

“One person. Just one. Really. Just one person was enough!” - for like 20 minutes after reading this i really was just sitting here thinking about every time a stranger did me a small a kindness and the times i did the same it just made me cry harder i love people and they really can be awful and choose to be cold and cruel but it means that when they choose to be kind..... it doesnt negate the cruelty but its still indescribable.. and being able to see that and remember that even after all the pain.....

ugh still just thinking about the times ive gone through something that changed me and having the cold numb fear that i would never be the same as i was before that i would lose some precious part of me forever and wondering if this would be the thing that finally did it... i dont know if ive ever actually experienced a piece of media that really make me think about that tbh

“Stop thinking so highly of yourself! I don’t need you to teach me anything, I can learn on my own. If you represent heaven’s will, then something like heaven’s will should be destroyed!” - why is defying the heavens so sexy.... keep it up (edit after white no-face identity reveal: HOLY SHIT!!!!!!!!!!!)

the fact that xie lian went through what he did and got nothing out of it and in fact lost everything he had left due to the trauma,,,,, but just one person is enough for him to willingly offer to do it again, even if all he could save is one person,,,,,, crying again.... and who it is who takes it all on instead... ok...

“After all, everyone knew that Mu Qing ascended because he cleaned up all the remaining stubborn resentful spirits in the old capital of Xianle, so to understand it as “generous and kind” wasn’t unreasonable. In any case, everyone in the old capital of Xianle were all very grateful for him.” - its not unreasonable at all!!! this boy picks cherries for his mom and the neighborhood kids leave him alone

“Shaking his head, Xie Lian contemplated, then he ladled two large bowls of rice, one offered inside the Temple of Ju Yang, the other inside the Temple of Xuan Zhen. Finally, feeling that everything served its purpose, he clapped his hands close, completely satisfied.” - please i just want them to be friends again

ruoye........ xie lian bidding farewell to the tiny red flower.... ok i feel a totally normal amount about all these things

book 5 time!!!

xie lian king of taking a third option.. no one dies in the kiln at all we’re just leaving bitch

“Xie Lian didn’t know why he had to use his hands to cup Hua Cheng’s cheeks, but he did so subconsciously, probably so he could comfort him, but also because Xie Lian was afraid Hua Cheng’s face would be frostbitten by the snowstorm.” - gay people.....

“This giant stone divine statue must’ve been sculpted when Hua Cheng was trapped inside the Kiln, when he was severely beaten down and in intense suffering.” - ohhhh my god. okay. okay. look. i get it....

“The divine statue obeyed his command and took off with a gigantic, wide step, going along with the rolling current of snow. One slide was several miles, and the snow waves it created crashed around its body. Because both its arms were open, even though it was a body of a million tons, it still maintained good balance.” - HELL YEAH!! HELL YEAH LETS FUCKING GO LETS GOOOOO

the statue that requires transfers of spiritual energy... statue of make you kiss me i see how it is.....

“Hearing this, Hua Cheng raised his brows, his expression seeming to say, please have them beat each other to death, that’d be great.” - when you dont like your SO’s friends and they dont like you

“With a sharp sword in hand, Xie Lian was like a tiger with wings added, his might increasing exponentially, and he struck out!” - YES!!! GET EM!!!!

“No one could blame him for not knowing what was going on. Perhaps, he was confused the entire way: Why was he beaten? Why was he buried inside a wall? Why was he turned into a daruma doll? And why did he have to turn into a sword, too? There was not a single point where he’d figured out what was happening.” its okay qyz its okay i know honey me too

HELLO?? SQX IS BACK???? omg what a development omg omg okay okay interesting... okay so shi wudu would have rather died than lose everything but shi qingxuan is still trucking

“Hua Cheng responded lazily, “Oh? So you mean to say, beggars can’t save the world? Is it because they don’t have the ability to, or because they’re not worthy?” - KING okay i know this is a motivational tactic but also... who was it who took on all the souls for the human face disease and did in fact save the world back then hmmm?

absolutely enthralled by the fact that in chapter 207 we find out that the guoshi is in fact just. still here. and the name of the chapter is "Seeking Affection; Ghost King Fakes Displeasure” which i mean that happens too but fjasdlkfajsld

bruh okay. okay. okay. everything is happening okay. okay. chaos in the heavens okay. ling wen is still invited to kiss me on the mouth tho idc

“Indeed Yin Yu didn’t have enough confidence, and said weakly, “Chengzhu has shown me grace, he saved me…” “I know,” Jun Wu said. “He even helped you pacify and send off the resentful spirit of Jian Yu, who died during banishment, am I right?” - awww im glad they resolved that bit that whole situation was awful also give me the forbidden hua cheng ghost king lore...

“Yin Yu finally couldn’t take it anymore. He clenched his fists tight, his knuckles cracking, and he whipped around. “I DO RESENT HIM! I DO HATE HIM!!! BUT, SO WHAT??” - yin yu kiss me on the mouth right now

“Xie Lian hugged him. “It’s alright, it’s alright. These are all small matters, really. Your Highness Yin Yu, just live in this world for another few hundred years and you’ll know that none of that really matters. Either driven to madness or really wishing someone would die, whichever. Who in the world has never had such thoughts? I’ve even thought of massacring all in the world who had wronged me, it’s true, and no lie, I’d almost done it. But look at me, haven’t I shamelessly lived until now? You haven’t actually done anything in the end, and that’s the most important thing.” - he’s right im crying again

“But…in the end, I…still think…it’s so unfair,” Yin Yu sobbed. “If I was already destined to be no one remarkable, then at the very least, I…wanted to be a kind and perfect person. But…I couldn’t even do that. It’s really…so unfair. And truth to be told, even in this moment, just thinking that I’m dying for Yizhen, this little dummy, I still can’t get over it. I can’t even let go and die with a heart with no resentment and no regrets, what is that.” - YIN YU YOU CANT DIE NOOOOOOO youre the only man in this whole book i would kiss why does this always happen im actually really sad ;_;

“If the Rain Master was killed directly, and a better heavenly official couldn’t be found to replace her, the people put food above all else; if agriculture isn’t running smoothly, the world will be thrown into chaos. You don’t let people eat, people won’t give you a job. Besides being displeased with the Rain Master, the people of the world might also begin to be dissatisfied with the great god above Rain Master’s head. Which means, if he isn’t careful, the fire can burn all the way onto him. If things aren’t controlled adequately, it might incur riots to topple gods.” - rain master my friend rain master... also yes!!!!! food production!!!! critical!!!!!!! theres a lot you can get by without but food is not one of them!!!!!

“Feng Xin was Xie Lian’s servant, his good friend, but not his slave. He could’ve built his own home, had his own family. And he had actually already met those people, but the encounter just had to be during Xie Lian’s first banishment, the toughest days they suffered back then.” i am very sad about all of this

hua cheng in the palace of ling wen looking for the brocade immortal while the heavens are in complete chaos as the world turns on its head and STILL taking the time to beg for kisses is making me lose it fjalkdfjlsd

oh my god the guoshi and the cards thing..... hmmmm

delighted that mount tong’lu has such great significance beyond just being the kiln or whatever

hmmm crown prince of wuyong... its truly sad... but dude.....

the way that the heavenly capital is literally built out of previous gods... wow

the outright attempt to continue to cycle of trauma that failed simply bc 1. xie lian is his own person and 2. xie lian recieved kindness and gave it back to the world even to the people who refused to help him im ;_;

the absolute mess of xuan ji/rong guang/pei su/banyue/ke mo going down in the palace of ming guang... entertainment

okay i think im to a point where i dont have any possible spoiler knowledge in my brain about what happens next (only thing i have is theres a joke about he xuan eating that i dont understand yet and i think we might get like an emily corpse bride moment but if we do i dont know why) but oh my god things have escalated

#oh my god the next one might be the last??? we'll see #what a ride for real #tgcf liveblog #ty to everyone who comments or reads even a bit of these i appreciate you #mouse mumbles

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yutyrannuss · 5 years ago

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Hey! Ive been looking into getting millipedes for a while now and got really excited when I saw you had some cuties!! Do you have any advice for first time millipede owners?

Im a first time owner myself! I've only got the one so far but definitely loving her.

They handle really well and are a joy to let crawl around in your hands even if they poop on u sometimes. (She's even chewed on my finger before which felt so funny)

But since I'm an ameteur I do encourage you to do your research for your species! But I will lis what I've learned myself and hopefully it will help you out.

1. Enclosure. As for size, general rule of thumb I've seen around is based on the length of your milli. 1x wide, 2x long. I've seen it said that the substrate should also be around 1x the length of the milli deep. This is a minimum however! Bigger is better, especially if you have multiple. Also if they can get out, they will. Within seconds of opening the deli container i brought mine home is she was already like, "adios", and crawling straight out. Be safe and get something with a lid preferably. You can go lidless, but be certain it cannot get out. Maybe make sure it is around 1 and and half times taller than the length of your pede than the highest point the pede can get to in your tank (like if you have a stick propped up). Don't lose your millipede!

2. Substrate! The millipedes live in and eat their substrate, so its important. Generally it should contain soil, wood, and leaves. I do reccomend just buying substrate tailored to millipedes as its easier and not as expensive and comes with things like calcium built in, but if you make your own substrate please be sure to decontaminate it!!!

3. Humidity! Very important as this can be life or death for your round friend! You're going to want to keep it pretty humid in there! My enclosure is a critter keeper with decent ventilation and a heating pad so it can dry out quick, so I'm sure to mist it very frequently, and you want to keep the lower half of your substrate rather moist too, though you can allow the very top to just be a little dry. Some people keep water dishes to keep humidity up, but if you do that be sure to add something like pebbles or what not so it has no risk of drowning.

4. Food. While they'll eat their substrate you'll want to provide fresh fruits and veggies for your milli! About once a week~ should be well and fine for your milli, some do more. Its up to you I suppose! (I do twice a week). Some millipedes may have preferences so be sure to give them a variety! I give my milli something different each time. And since the portions they need are small, you can easily just brush aside some fruits/veggies while you cook or if you're eating a banana go ahead and share a piece! You likely won't need to buy millipede specific produce because its so easy to just use what you have. I've also heard they can enjoy treats like dry pet food or mushrooms.

5. Temp. Room temp is usually fine, depending on the species and their natural habitat some may like it warmer. Mine would do fine at room temp but since it is a desert millipede, I do have a heating pad so she thrives better! But again mine is an Arizona native, so if yours comes from a cooler place, this is likely unnecessary.

6. Habitat! Of course you can't just have dirt and call it a day. Give them places to crawl around and hide away. This can be many things, so have fun decorating! Mine enclosure has a hunk of lichen in the corner that she almost always sleeps under when she's not on the move. It really cute that she has her own little bed lol. They also tend to not be fond of direct light or strong lights, being primarily suited to dim and darkness. So make sure they aren't in a sunny spot or they'll just hide all the time!

All and all thats... all i can think of rn. Hopefully its a good little guide but again do your own research and see whats best for your species. And again, I'm no expert.

They're relatively easy pets, and care is cheap! Mostly just the one time expense of setting everything up, and its definitely worth it. I love watching my girl so much and she's just so cute! Maybe not conventional pets but definitely just as lovely.

Good luck and i hope you get your millipede! It was a spur of the moment decision for me and one of the best I've ever made. I can't wait to get her a boyfriend hhhehehe

#and i probably missed stuff #but i hope its good general advice #always do your own research!#and send me pics if u get one owo

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jkeandlife · 5 years ago

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Need help!

I came to cancún to start a new life. Sadly, the job i had cant pay me as much as once did (it was barely enough to live month to month)

Its a really hard time right now, with no new jobs found and no money on me. My parents are practically no support whatsoever.

The kitchen where i live its falling apart, with a intense leaking thats rotting the wood its built of.

Cockroaches are loving that! its so awful to keep washing dishes (the more i wash the worse it gets) and keeping an eye to the food near for those bastards.

Water filters to the floor and its so damn slippery. It needs to be mopped every 5 damn minutes. Slipping in a kitchen cant be good.

Also, the oven its tilting so im afraid af that one day it will just colapse as something its cooking and burn me.

Never tought i would ask for help here but right now its really important.

If you can help in any way, any donation would be so appreciated!!! Being safe that i can keep cooking (wich saves me quite the money) and do it with out worrying about getting boiling water all over me its kind of a big deal.

Paypal for donations its [email protected]

Any way you can help, be it spreading the word or just sparing anything you can.

#please help

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changji · 5 years ago

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Wow you really went off the other day but at least it was worth it 😪 I normally look at the scenery when I’m on a road trip, but then I get bored of it and decide to sleep bc there’s nothing else to do. Motion sickness must suck :(( do you take gravol or something to help with it? Coffee literally drains the life out of my funds it hurts me

Yes omg pls make me cookies I love them. Maybe you can even open a bakery with pastries and sell some good /cheap/ coffee. Ilyt my dear baker 🥺 ye I’m not the biggest fan of my bday either but gotta celebrate anyway!! One year closer to death woohoo 🎉🎉 your birthday is the most important day of the year!!! You can’t fight me on this I’m right

Pearls are so good. Like most places I go to don’t add anything to the pearls so it’s just bland squishy balls but the place I frequent adds I think honey to sweeten them. It gives the pearls life istg. It tastes so good 🤤 hollering is a funny word. For some reason I always associate it with yodelling which makes me laugh

Ksks you must be op if you can make a joke in the wall with a door slam. I can’t relate my arms are literally sticks and I have no strength in me. Chrome books are terrible in general. Add my schools terrible wifi and you get one big recipe for disaster. I’d never fight u either (unless it’s for your bday) ily too much for that 🥺🥺🥺

Hahah I think it’s me. I haven’t heard anyone say “go ham” except for the people who go to my school. I find it really funny tho so I try to incorporate it whenever I can LOL easily burnt? Can’t relate but apparently I easily tan. There’s this one diagonal stripe on my shoulder that separates pale me and tan me which ??? How did that happen and what was I wearing for that to happen??

It’s all fun and games until you go outside and see a mountain of snow waiting for you to be shovelled. But there are some good aspects to winter, like skating and skiing and all that fun stuff. Snow is so heavy?? Or maybe I’m just weak but after I finish shovelling I’m beat. Gardening is not my thing. There’s too many bugs involved flying around 🥴

Kind of? I always thought it was short for cappuccino but I could be wrong. They don’t taste like fraps tho, they’re sm better. I was always a frap hoe until I discovered lattes. My old elementary school was close to a Starbucks so whenever frappy hour was happening, my friends and I would go almost every day LOL

I heard that dunkin coffee is really good. Oof there’s so many things that the us have that Canada doesn’t. But apparently you guys don’t have ketchup chips?? How can one live without them? You know that’s what soulmates are, we’re stuck together forever and I don’t mind that. I’d never leave you 😌😌

YES OMG LATTES ARE SO EXPENSIVE. I pay around the same amount and my wallet cries every time. If you ever yeet yourself off a bridge I’d come visit u in hell and bring u iced coffee 💖 we really are soulmates wtf I get almond milk in my lattes as well!! I used to get normal milk and was like “I’m a bad bitch milk can’t hurt me” but that didn’t really work out. Sigh what we do for coffee 😔

Washing dishes is disgusting. I hate doing them but yk someone’s gotta do it and that someone is me 😤 I’m acc lazy when it comes to smoothies, I usually ask my mom to make them LMAO. Pancakes are pretty much made of flour if you think about it so technically when u eat one plain ur eating cooked flour,, how barbaric. Waffles are Built. Like. They have a 20 pack 😪😪

I love angst personally so pls go ham but not too ham I’d like to keep my heart. Honestly at this point my last brain cell has given up on me. But yes I love angst and I love torturing myself with heart wrenching angst that leaves me crying into my pillow at 3am (I’m talking about this one haikyuu fic that I forgot the name of. I was literally dying inside jalsjwo)

Pls do send me peet’s I’ll send you an iced capp in a cooler so it’ll be somewhat melted and probably spilt everywhere 🤪 tumblrs probably gonna block me again, I’m looking at how much I’ve typed rn and it’s a lot lmaoo. Yes I managed to save myself. I redid the whole last with less detail bc I was not Having It but it turned out better?? How is ur drawing now?

I start after labour day in September. But starting in 3 weeks?????? On a Thursday?? I could never wtf. When do you end? I’m so confused with these ap and honours thing, like there’s none offered in my school nor majority of the school district. Are they just advanced classes or something? It is 7 classes a semester or the whole year?

Stan talent i think you meant yourself??? Jsjsksk I am not only ur coffee soulmate I’m not #1 fan as well and I support u bc ily 🥺🥺 the read more tag had me laughing for a hot minute. Like we really could make an essay out of all of our replies. I don’t have any pets (besides fish does that count?) unfortunately bc my moms allergic to fur 🥺 hbu?? (I can’t believe tumblr blocked me again they can fight me)

i didn’t even pay LOL i freeloaded off my cousin 🤧 i like to look @ scenery sometimes but like i can’t bc my head hurts LOL and the scenery is always the same for me, mountains and fields with cows. i try to take dramamine but it makes me so drowsy that i’m just basically dead,,, i live off of my cousins money so i’m okay 🤪

tbh i use nestle toll house pre made cookie dough, like that shit actually slaps. it’s the best it’s so good omg, perfect for lazy hoes 🤧 death here we go ! the order is ur bday, then skz debut date, and then christmas i don’t make the rules sorry sis 😤

pearls are Dangerous, i once drank a smoothie and there were pearls in it and i couldn’t see them bc there were like. only 3 and they were Buried under the smoothie but i choked and almost died but i chewed one of them and it’s like. so weird. HOLLERING AND YODELING IM- i once went to some public yodeling class and left in 2 seconds bc it was a bunch of white boys dressed like the kid from walmart 😪

it’s not even strength i’m actually rly weak,, i always think the doors are closed but they’re not and so i like slam them open and the walls are thin so it’s just. a sad hole. terrible wifi,, my school has pretty good wifi tbh but we have like three connections, one for the chrome books only, one for the teachers & staff, and one for students and guests. like it works rly good but everyone has a VPN bc of stupid social media restrictions 😤 & ilyt 🥺 u would probably win in a fight tho LOL

go ham is so interesting. the first time i heard it i thought it meant go pig and i was so confused but ig,,, i live lathered in sun screen whenever i go somewhere with the sun. ppl are like “i smell sun screen” and im just there like 🙃 it’s me u got a problem u burnt chicken nugget ??? i wish i tanned easily, i have a tan friend and when i showed her when my legs got tan she was so confused. i thought i was tan tho? bc during marching band season my sock tan becomes So Bad i’m basically white. she said she was blinded when she saw me pull my sock down and i laughed so hard LOL & i hate those dumb random tan lines like. where u @ bro? where u come from??

snow is fun for like a day and then i get tired LOL i csn only handle wet socks and a red nose for so long 😔 i tried skiing one time and i did so bad that the instructor had to hold me down and walk with me down the slope. i fell so many times i think he hated me 😳 i’m also rly bad at skating? i went w my friends once and i held both of their hands and still managed to bring both of them down when i fell. a cute guy once helped me when i was struggling to walk so 🥴 not my brightest moment tbh,, trying to walk in skates while on ice. do u enjoy skiing/skating? also gardening is. gross. worms and dirt and the sun i’m not here for it.

u: cappuccinos! me: ...ice bergs,,, now that i think about it fraps kinda suck,,, i used to think i was So Cool for drinking starbucks but now i’m like. wow. i used to think there was coffee in a frap but it’s just. sugar and ice LOL also speaking of tmrw is bogo fraps here,, idk if it’s all over the world but myb u should check it out 😪

dunkins okay it depends on what you get, i once got an iced latte and it was good but my dad got an iced coffee and he like. hated it so we had to switch and it was so bad like. it was coffee crime. it was horrible and not strong it was basically milk 😤 also,, ketchup chip? i just googled what that was and. that’s literally so weird. fun fact i hate ketchup and all other condiments i can only eat bbq sauce and i tolerate steak sauce

UR LITERALLY SO CUTE OKAY UR MINE NOW HHHH

i mentioned this in the other ask but. we going broke bitches club 😪 when u come visit me it’ll be old town road the one w mason ramsey on a loop. nothing will top the og remix but no, i’ll be stuck listening to some 5 year old rap for all of eternity

I USED TO BE SUCH A GOOD KID AND DRINK MILK EVERY MORNING ever since i got to middle school i preferred sleep over waffles and milk and i hardly drink milk but when i do. my stomach does not have it.

my mom made me wash dishes today and she just stared at me when i put ziploc bags on my hands bc we didn’t have gloves but i just painted my nails and i’m not abt to put myself thru chipped nails. not yet 😤 waffles are so good like i love waffles and lattes only 🤧

well i’ll go very ham (am i doing it right LOL) 😤 the angst ending is a lot better than the open ended or happy ones LOL i’m so excited for it 🥺 i’m rly tryna get it out before the end of this month bc the edit says july and it’ll make me Mad if i don’t get it out before the end of this month

i wanna start in september 🤧 and i usually end in the first week of june. also on a wednesday LOL it’s gross. stupid. ap means advanced placement so it’s just. a college level class. lowkey mad bc i’m taking ap euro (as a sophomore 😒) and other schools take it in their senior years? apparently this is normal? and honors are just faster paced classes with more weighting so,, idrk oops 😬 some people take 7 classes in a semester but i took it for the whole year! this year i’m dropping orchestra i’m Not for that spit in the carpet life

the only talent in this house goes by ada and jisung. i don’t make the rules. i’m ur #1 fan 🥺 as soon as u post anything i automatically smash that rb button LOL also put a read more here bc like. we’re really out here writing a whole ass essay. i’ll look @ all our convos bet it’ll be like. a lot. i don’t wanna say smth and be off so i’ll just not. i have a dog! he’s the cutest in the world and i love him sm 🥺 tumblr can fight me first like. what’s this ask limit bull hhhhh

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fanders-art · 6 years ago

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Better - chapter 1

Summary: Elle is a depressed 25 year old who doesn't see the hope and kindness on store for herself. This is the story on recovery

Trigger warnings: suicidal ideation, pessimistic thinking/negative self talk, depression (tell me if there's more please !)

Note- this is my first ever story, it might not be good but bear with me, i may know what im talking about, I know how depression feels. I wrote this to show theres always hope. You can get better and feel better even when it's hard and it is a constant fight. Without further ado, THE STORY!~

_______________________________

"Anyways Elle, I have to go to my next class now so I'll call you later, bye"

My little sister, Anna, says sounding dissapointed, and hangs up the phone; I start wondering if she got bored with me and ended the call, or maybe she really didn't want to go to class. I sigh and turn over in my bed.

I had just woken up before the call, my body feeling like lead and my spirits were low, as if they were mourning the hole on my heart that yearned for comforting words, for happiness. Longing for love, fulfillment and support. Something to hold it all together. It's been there for quite some time now. I shake my head at the thought.

Go wash the dishes you useless adult.

I would, if my body didnt feel so heavy that it hurts.

I would if I had any reason to

Any motivation.

But there's none so what's the point?

I go to sleep again

___________________________________

I wake up in my room feeling lighter than yesterday, but not completely light. I look at the date on my phone, it's Wednesday, 5:00pm. My eyes go wide, but my mouth forms a thin line. I slept through 2 days straight and I have to go to work. I jump from my bed. Once i get ready I grab my stuff from the table and run out the door.

The customers are rude again. I'm not surprised anymore, I call my manager and continue the sad routine of working in retail.

________________________

It was normal day, long, but still normal. I was cooking pasta for dinner, something simple that i didn't need energy for.

Nothing significant happenned today, but i still find myself In my kitchen, tears dripping from my eyes, one by one, and sobs wrecking body, making me tremble. I was swaying back and forth, barely focusing on my pasta as my thoughts started consuming me.

You're useless. Absolutely pathetic. Nothing even happened and you're crying? Man, that's weak.

"Stop it, please" I cover my ears, more tears falling to the ground. The silence is deafening. The thoughts get louder.

How long have you been feeling this way? Years. Admit it, You're broken! We could make a list of all the rea-

"SHUT UP, DAMN IT!" I say to my own head. The tears are falling more quickly now, my sight becomes more of a blur. I'm used to it now; as I wipe some of my tears from my face I head to the bathroom.

I look at the mirror, letting the water run through my hands. My hair is up in a messy bun. My face swollen and red from all the crying, with tear tracks all over.

I lean down and wash my face.

_________________________________

After I'm done preparing the pasta, I serve a small amount and store the rest inside the fridge.

Staring at my food, I start poking at it with my fork.

"I'm not hungry anymore."

I start eating.

After I finish, I figure I should wash the dishes while I'm still feeling productive.

________________________

I leave work early today. My manager told me I was very unfocused and Spacey today and I kept making the same mistakes without noticing. More customers left, being angry at me and disrespectful to everybody else.

At my other job, one of my coworkers told me I seemed down. I barely recall them saying

"Hey Elle, take it easy. You're hanging your head and dragging your feet. Have you been sleeping okay? It's been at least three weeks since I saw you speaking to someone, let alone smiling."

I shake them off saying I was just stressed, but a couple of hours later my little sister told me I should see a psychiatrist. That I deserved better. I only listened to the first half, couldn't bring myself to believe the other.

______

"And, that's how I ended up here talking with you, Mr. Cardoso."

I am sitting in a chair on a small office. Taking a brief look around the room, i notice there's and organized desk looking toward one of the walls, the chair at it s left. Behind it, on the opposite side, there were some cabinets displaying toys. I figure they're for the children that come to see him.

I turn to look at the man sitting at the desk as he talks to me.

"So what youre saying is, you have an idea of why these people told you to come here, but don't completely agree with it?"

I nod.

"I'm going to have you fill out a couple of papers to give you a proper diagnosis," he hands me a couple of papers and a pen. "Do tell me when you're finished or have any questions."

I look at the questions in front of me, laid out with the questions of the left and, on the right side, the words: never, a few times, sometimes, often and always. I begin answering the questions.

The questions below ask about anxiety and worrying.

In the last 6 months, have you experienced any of the following symptoms? If so, how often?

I felt that my worry was out of my control- often

I felt restless, agitated, frantic, or tense.- always

I had trouble sleeping - I could not fall or stay asleep, and/or didn't feel well-rested when I woke up.- always

I felt sick to my stomach, like I was going to throw up, or had diarrhea - sometimes

I felt dizzy, my head was spinning, or felt like I was going to faint - a few times

I was scared that I would lose control, go crazy, or die. -always

In the next set of questions, we will be asking whether you experienced a traumatic event, and how you reacted to it.

How did you experience the traumatic event?

Directly - I was a victim of a traumatic event.

I witnessed it in person (happening to someone else).

I learned about it happening to a close family member or friend.

I was exposed to it as a result of my job (e.g. paramedic, police officer, fire fighter etc.).

In all of these I notice I don't remember much of my past. I write an 'I don't know' on the side.

I was unable to feel happiness, contentment, joy, or love, or had trouble connecting with people.- agree

There were questions about my mood, emotions, behavior. Even some about drugs, a big no from me.

I finished the questions.

We moved on.

________________________

When I get home I reflect on the appointment I had with the psychiatrist, Mr. Cardoso.

He said he would prefer if I saw a therapist at least once or twice a week, since I had nothing to lose, except for, well, pride, the walls you'd built, and time you could be working, you know, the usual, I said yes.

I look at the cellphone that's on my hands. After a few minutes, I dial the number to the psychiatric hospital. I hear the voice on the other line start spaeking.

"Hello, you have reached wellhealth hospital. How may I help you today?"

"Um" I hesitate. "Hello, I'd like to file an appointment with a therapist?"

"Do you have an insurance? Please give me your full name."

"I just applied for one and got the card. My full name is Elle Cook"

"Alright then. Would you prefer to come on next Monday at 10:30am or Wednesday 5:00pm?" The secretary said in a bored yet polite manner.

"Monday. 10 am. Who is the appointment with?"

"Your appointment is with Ms. Laura. Please come early to fill the necessary documents and show proof of your insurance."

"Will do. Thank you for your time. Have a nice day." After I hear their answer I hang up.

Sighing, I move from my comfy couch to my bathroom. I don't have enough energy for a skin care routine, so I just was my face and teeth, then change into my panda onesie and head to bed.

__________________________________

Special thanks for @thelogicalloganipus @fangirltothefullest @sanders-trash-4ever @pornhubsvt And @asofterfan for helping me with this chapter/giving me feedback!!

Don't know when the next update will be

You are here | Chapter 2

#tw: depression #tw: suicidal ideation #story #my writing #first time #first story #not ts related #not ts #not sanders sides #first person narrative

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europeantravel1 · 3 years ago

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Top Places To Celebrate Oktoberfest In 2021 in Munich

The Top Places To Celebrate Oktoberfest In 2021 in Munich During Covid Unfortunately, because of Covid Oktoberfest in Munich is once again canceled. They just announced that barring any national regulations they intend to have the festival again in 2022 probably only for those that are vaccinated and also who have a negative test. So what about 2021? Well, the following list of bars, breweries, and restaurants have banded together to offer special Oktoberfest treats during the traditional Oktoberfest period. In a city whose name is practically synonymous with beer, there will be plenty of choices of great places to go to. You'll never run out of options in Munich no matter what your taste may be. This guide will hopefully show you some places that you may not have been aware of and that can be enjoyed during Oktoberfest or at any time of year. Andechser am Dom Over the past 20 years, the Krätz family has offered Bavarian coziness in Andechser with a view of the Frauenkirche's sundial. As part of the charm of Andechs Monastery, you can view ceiling paintings painted by Rainer Maria Latzke and Gothic wall paneling. It is one of the few places that you can find Doppelbock, a strong-malty brew year round plus the food is excellent. I have been a frequent visitor to this place (and in its previous location-as well as Kloster Andechs for over 20 years. It is at the top of the list because it is one of my favorites. Address & Info: Frauenplatz 7, 80331 Munich www.andechser-am-dom.de Tel. 089 24 29 29 20 [email protected] Augustiner am Dom At the Augustiner am Dom, you can drink fresh beer from a wooden barrel. In the kitchen, Peter Schmutzer is extremely committed to sourcing products from the area: the brown trout come from the Isartaler Aumühle and the Lugeder farmers' harvest from Pleiskirchen. One of the best features is its convenient location next to Andechser am Dom Address & Info: Frauenplatz 8, 80331 Munich www.augustineramdom.de Tel. 089 23 23 84 80 [email protected] Photo: Anette Göttlicher Augustiner am Platzl Barbara and Oliver Wendel pamper their guests with Augustiner beer, Oktoberfest delicacies, and Bavarian music. The hosts look forward to their visitors. If you were unaware, Augustiner is the local brew most preferred by locals. Located down the street from the famous Hofbrauhaus. Address & Info: Orlandostraße 5, 80331 Munich www.augustiner-am-platzl.de Tel. 089 370 17 170 [email protected] Augustiner Klosterwirt Augustiner beer was brewed here 700 years ago. The bell still rings when a new keg is tapped. Located near the front part of the Frauenkirch. Be sure and ask if you can get a seat in the Tonnensaal Room for a unique dining experience. Address & Info: Augustinerstraße 1, 80331 Munich www.augustiner-klosterwirt.de Tel. 089 55 05 44 66 [email protected] Augustiner Stammhaus In the lively pedestrian zone between Marienplatz and Stachus is the last original Munich brewery restaurant. All sausage specialties come from the in-house butcher's shop. Landlord Thomas Vollmer, who runs the Augustiner tent at the Oktoberfest, suggests the Bierkutscher goulash, braised in Edelstoff beer and I concur. Address & Info: Neuhauser Strasse 27, 80331 Munich www.augustiner-restaurant.com Tel. 089 23 18 32 57 [email protected] Photo: Anette Göttlicher Ayinger am Platzl Across the street from the Hofbrauhaus. From the Aying family brewery, the inn serves tasty beer on the historic Platzl. Seven different types are drawn fresh from the barrel every day at Peter Inselkammer, the host of the Armbrustschützenzelt. This was once one of my favorite spots but has dropped off not because of the food or beer but because they removed the horseradish soup from the menu. It is still very good and I prefer the food over what is across the street at the Hofbrauhaus. They also tap a fresh wooden cask every day around 4:30 or 5:00. Address & Info: Platzl 1a, 80331 Munich www.ayinger-am-platzl.de Tel. 089 23 70 36 66 [email protected] Ayinger in der Au In the Ayinger in, der Au, owned by the Inselkammer family from the Armbrustschützenzelt, hops are a real way of life. During your visit you sit in a brewery cellar and listen to the beer flowing from chilled wooden barrels, you'll see typical brewery materials such as copper, wood, and loden, which are tastefully and carefully built. This pub is modern and traditional at the same time. Address & Info: Mariahilfplatz 4, 81541 Munich www.ayinger-in-der-au.de Tel. 089 62 23 37 36 66 [email protected] Chinesischer Turm Beer Garden At the "SCHMANKERL Kiosk" or the beer garden, Landlady Antje Schneider always offers good food reminiscent of an Oktoberfest tent. The beer garden Chinesischer Turm is located in the English Garden (Englischer Garten), Munich's largest park area. Address & Info: Englischer Garten 3, 80538 Munich www.chinaturm.de Tel. 089 38 38 73 27 [email protected]? Bratwurstherzl at the Viktualienmarkt Clearly, this place is all about the sausage. Legendary Nuremberg sausages are prepared over an open beechwood fire. It is sometimes possible to hear hearty folk music. If you sit at a table with a cloth cover you get table service, without the cloth it is self-service. Address & Info: Dreifaltigkeitsplatz 1, 80331 Munich www.bratwurstherzl.de Tel. 089 29 51 13 [email protected] Brenner Restaurant In the Brenner, old courtly horse hall architecture is combined skillfully with modern features. Moreover, anyone who spends an evening under the olive trees on the terrace with Jean-Marc Ferrara and Tobias Mushövel never doubts that Munich is really the northernmost city in Italy. Address & Info: Maximilianstrasse 15, 80539 Munich www.brennergrill.de Tel. 089 45 22 880 [email protected] Photo: Anette Göttlicher Der Pschorr Whether it's braised ox veal out of Murnau-Werdenfelser beef or ice-cold wooden draft beer, you will find it delicious: Der Pschorr am Viktualienmarkt, home is on the plate and tradition is in the glass ... all year round in a relaxed atmosphere with a view of the market bustle. Bonus: Located next to Eataly with some delicious Italian treats. Address & Info: Viktualienmarkt 15, 80331 Munich www.der-pschorr.de Tel. 089 442 38 39 40 [email protected] Donisl Peter Reichert, the new host at Donisl am Marienplatz, is paying particular attention to the Bavarian attitude towards life. Munich cuisine and Hacker-Pschorr beer freshly tapped await guests - more tradition is hardly possible. Address & Info: Weinstrasse 1, 80333 Munich www.donisl.com Tel. 089 242 93 90 [email protected] Giesinger Garten Between Columbus and Candidplatz, delicious food and drink can be enjoyed in Fritz Kustatscher's (Fischer-Vroni's) Giesinger Garten. You can dine in style in the restaurant and in the warmer months, you can drink outside in comfort. Address & Info: Gerhardstrasse 4, 81543 Munich www.giesinger-garten.de Tel. 089 20 18 19 16 [email protected] Goldig im Boettners In the past few years, Goldig im Boettners has gained popularity as an essential destination for those who enjoy Mediterranean dishes. Landladies Irene Scopel and Lisa Strauss rely on creativity when it comes to cooking and pays attention to seasonal ingredients. Address & information Pfisterstraße 9, 80331 Munich www.goldig-muc.de/ Tel: 089 24210372 [email protected] Hackershaus The history of the old hacker's house goes back to the 15th century. The brewery was referred to as "Prew im Haggenviertel" until the 18th century. Since January 2020, the Alte Hackerhaus has been managed by Christine and Lorenz Stiftl. What a time to open a place…. Address & Info: Sendlinger Strasse 14, 80331 Munich www.hackerhaus.de Tel. 089 260 50 26 [email protected] Photo: Anette Göttlicher Haxnbauer in the Scholastikahaus Located in Munich's center, the old city bar is part of a historical building that dates back to the 14th century: the Scholastikahaus. The Kufflers (Oktoberfest wine tent proprietors) had the restaurant extensively restored. Today, the Haxnbauer is a meeting place for long-time Munich residents and guests from all over the world. On the pig's knuckle grill, finely seasoned pork and veal knuckles cook slowly and openly over beech charcoal to create crispy delicacies. Address & Info: Sparkassenstrasse 6, 80331 Munich www.kuffler.de Tel. 089 216 65 40 [email protected] Hirschau "Located in an idyllic, quiet location on the edge of the English Garden" - there the Hagn and Spendler families from the Löwenbräu Oktoberfest festival tent offer delicious delicacies without end: fish on the stick like at the Oktoberfest, snacks, tasty beer, and more. Address & Info: Gyßlingstrasse 15, 80805 Munich www.hirschau-muenchen.de Tel. 089 360 90 490 [email protected] Hochreiter's Steirer am Markt Located directly on the Viktualienmarkt, Hochreiter's Steirer embodies coziness and a passion for high-quality food and drink: Fried chicken and boiled beef, Styrian minced meat, pumpkin seed cream or apricot dumplings can be enjoyed every day by the Hochreiter family. Address & Info: Dreifaltigkeitsplatz 4, 80331 Munich www.steirer-am-markt.de Tel. 089 255 49 15 10 [email protected] Hofbräuhaus It is probably the world's most famous pub. The 420-year-old Hofbräuhaus has a legendary history. In the Schwemme, in the Bräustüberl or in the historic ballroom, musicians play real Bavarian pub music every day. I often call this place a tourist trap because every tourist to Munich comes here. It is traditional for sure but I prefer to eat and drink elsewhere except when visitors are in town. Address & Info: Platzl 9, 80331 Munich www.hofbraeuhaus.de Tel. 089 290 13 61 00 [email protected] Hofbräukeller on Wiener Platz Here, the culinary aspect is very traditional: The host siblings Silja Schrank Steinberg and Friedrich Steinberg spoil you on Wiener Platz with the original delicacies from the Hofbräu festival tent. Address & Info: Innere Wiener Straße 19, 81667 Munich www.hofbraeukeller.de Tel. 089 45 99 25-0 [email protected] Gasthaus Jagdschlössl A variety of typical Bavarian and Austrian delicacies are served in the original Munich restaurant directly on Rotkreuzplatz. The hunting lodge run by the Oktoberfest landlords Stadtmüller and Kustatscher (Fischer-Vroni) is one of the few long-established, traditional inns in Neuhausen. Address & Info: Nymphenburger Strasse 162, 80634 Munich www.jagdschloessl-muenchen.de Tel. 089 168 92 41 Käfer-Schänke Restaurant Choosing the Käfer-Schänke restaurant is choosing enjoyment, well-being, culture, and cuisine in perfect harmony. Here you can enjoy delicious dishes courtesy of the Käfer festival kitchen, along with beer, wine, or a special aperitif. Address & Info: Prinzregentenstrasse 73, 81675 Munich www.feinkost-kaefer.de Tel. 089 416 82 47 [email protected] Kilian's Irish Pub Every major city in Europe has Irish Pubs. Kilians Irish Pub is situated in the heart of Munich, beside the Frauenkirche. Kilians has live music every night, Address & Info: Frauenplatz 11, 80331 Munich www.kiliansirishpub.com Tel. 089 24 21 98 99 [email protected] Kugler Alm A delicious ox roast is served in the beer garden in Deisenhofen, near Munich, as part of the Oktoberfest festivities. Bellissimo: Look forward to “Dolce Vita” dishes and new creations with the finest ox meat prepared by the Italian chef Andrea de Carlo. Address & Info: Linienstraße 93, 82041 Oberhaching www.kugleralm.de Tel. 089 61 39 01-20 [email protected] Landersdorfer & Innerhofer The two owners Johann Landersdorfer and Robert Innerhofer have been present with their restaurant in downtown Munich since 2000 and have long since become an institution for friends of fine dining. While Johann “Hans” offers market-fresh products for a unique menu, Robert is at the guests' side with advice, action, and a well-stocked wine cellar. Address & Info: Hackenstrasse 6-8, 80331 Munich www.landersdorferundinnerhofer.de Tel. 089 26 01 86 37 [email protected] Photo: Anette Göttlicher Leger am Dom Verena Able, the experienced daughter of the Able family, brings all the highlights from the Marstall tent of the Oktoberfest directly to her restaurant at the Frauenkirche. It's just a nice, easy, and casual place. Address & Info: Kaufingerstraße 24, 80331 Munich www.legeramdom.de Tel. 089 21 02 05 30 [email protected] Lindwurmstüberl In Munich, it has a distinctive facade color and a sunny roof terrace, which are still almost a locals-only secret. You will love the fish on a stick that you know from the Fischer-Vroni Oktoberfest tent. Address & Info: Lindwurmstrasse 32, 80337 Munich www.lindwurmstueberl-muenchen.de Tel. 089 53 88 65 31 [email protected] Little London - Bar & Grill 140 different types of gins and 140 different kinds of whiskey - Little London has many things going for it, as well as having an excellent selection of steaks. Address & Info: Tal 31, 80331 Munich www.little-london.de Tel. 089 122 23 94 70 [email protected] Löwenbräukeller Am Stiglmaierplatz The Reinbold family owns the Löwenbräukeller which is a landmark at the Stiglmaierplatz in Munich. Its steeple is known by everyone. During the Oktoberfest, they manage the Schützenfestzelt tent. Most Munich residents have already visited the beer garden. Try the Löwenburger. Once Starkbierfest resumes it is also one of the better places to go to celebrate. Address & Info: Nymphenburger Strasse 2, 80335 Munich www.loewenbraeukeller.com Tel. 089 52 60 21 [email protected] Cafe Luitpold In addition to a café, a pastry shop, and a restaurant, Cafe Luitpold is an urban coffee house. In particular, it delights gourmets and has been awarded by the Michelin Guide for seven years. Address & Info: Brienner Strasse 11, 80333 Munich www.cafe-luitpold.de Tel. 089 24 28 750 [email protected] Münchner Stubn Tradition and zeitgeist meet at the Münchner Stubn of the Wickenhäuser & Egger family across from Munich Central Train Station. Guests of the rustic inn can savor Bavarian specialties and Munich specialties while sipping beer from the original Munich wooden barrel. Address & Info: Bayerstraße 35-37, 80335 Munich www.muenchner-stubn.de Tel. 089 551 11 33 30 [email protected] Photo: Anette Göttlicher Oktoberfest Museum The Beer & Oktoberfest Museum's museum parlor is located in Munich's oldest still-preserved town house. The Beer & Oktoberfest Museum opened here in September 2005, sponsored by the Edith Haberland Wagner Foundation. Address & Info: Sterneckerstraße 2, 80331 Munich www.museumsstueberl.de Tel. 089 24 24 39 41 [email protected] Nuremberg Bratwurst Glöckl am Dom The best sellers here are, of course, the delicious grilled sausages. Using an in-house recipe, they are prepared daily and grilled over an open beechwood fire. These sausages aren't the only reason for the restaurant's fame. The atmosphere and the beer make it a great place to visit. Since 2006, Jürgen Morawek has run the Nuremberg Bratwurst Glöckl am Dom. Address & Info: Frauenplatz 9, 80331 Munich www.bratwurst-gloeckl.de Tel. 089 291 94 50 [email protected] Palais Keller in the Bayerischer Hof Hotel A visitor entering the Palais Keller for the first time is instantly awestruck. The stairs lead down into a vault that is over 550 years old and - it seems - into its own world. Address & Info: Promenadeplatz 2-6, 80333 Munich www.bayerischerhof.de Tel. 089 212 09 90 [email protected] Paulaner am Nockherberg In addition to its large beer garden and restaurant, the Paulaner am Nockherberg has its own brewery that has two huge brewing kettles on the premises. It doesn't get any fresher than that when it comes to beer. The same is true about freshness when it comes to food: Here, even the food is prepared à la minute in the beer garden. Insider tip: The spinach spaetzle, which is sizzled until crispy in the fryer from the Schottenhamelfesthalle in less than a minute. The Nockherberg is the go to place for Starkbierfest so they can certainly handle a mini Oktoberfest celebration. Address & Info: Hochstrasse 77, 81541 Munich www.paulaner-nockherberg.com Tel. 089 459 91 30 [email protected] Palatinate Residenz Weinstube With its majestic vaults and high four-pillar hall, the Palatinate Residenz Weinstube of the Landesverband der Pfälzer in Bayern eV eV welcomes its guests with a royal ambience. This restaurant has been around for more than 60 years and is well known for its affordable and excellent wines. Address & Info: Residenzstrasse 1, 80333 Munich www.pfaelzerweinstube.de Tel. 089 22 56 28 [email protected] Photo: Anette Göttlicher Ratskeller and Franconian-Badische Weinstube A single visit is not enough to discover all the aspects of the Ratskeller on Marienplatz. The terrace in the grand courtyard is particularly pleasant when the weather is nice. Löwenbräu can be drunk from the wooden barrel here while you listen to live music. Address & Info: Marienplatz 8, 80331 Munich www.ratskeller.com Tel. 089 219 98 90 [email protected] Café Rischart on Marienplatz Both here and at Café Kaiserschmarrn on Viktualienmarkt, sweet sins are the center of attention. Anyone who likes sweets is definitely in the land of milk and honey here. A local institution in Munich. Address & Info: Marienplatz 18, 80331 Munich www.rischart.de Tel. 089 231 70 03 20 [email protected] Sappralott Located in the heart of Neuhausen, on the corner of Donnersberger Strasse and Hirschbergstrasse, Sappralott has become a landmark for local residents: friendly hospitality, delicious food, and cool drinks. Address & Info: Donnersbergerstrasse 37, 80634 Munich www.sappralott.de Tel. 089 16 47 25 [email protected] Schneider Bräuhaus Every day, friends, business people, tourists, students, and Munich residents of long-standing meet at the Schneider Bräuhaus - the cradle of the legendary Schneider Weisse. The landlord, Otmar Mutzenbach, makes delicious Bavarian delicacies. Address & Info: Tal 7, 80331 Munich www.schneider-brauhaus.de Tel. 089 290 13 80 [email protected] Schnitzelwirt im Spatenhof The name says it all. Schnitzelwirt Christian Winklhofer offers the most popular local cuisine in his restaurant in the Spatenhof. There are many different types of schnitzel: turkey schnitzel in sesame breading, corn flakes breading, and hunter schnitzel with mushroom cream sauce. The culinary range is enormous. Address & Info: Neuhauser Strasse 39, 80331 Munich www.schnitzelwirt.de Tel. 089 26 40 10 [email protected] Schuhbecks Orlando At the Orlandohaus am Platzl, people have been eating and drinking and gossiping for more than a hundred years. Since 2007, Alfons Schuhbeck, one of the most famous chefs in Bavaria, has continued the tradition of the Orlando at his dining establishment. In Schuhbeck's Orlando, you can still appreciate the luxurious ceiling arches, opulent chandeliers, marble floors, and amusing terrace of the restaurant and coffee house culture of yesteryear. Address & Info: Platzl 4, 80331 Munich www.schuhbeck.de Tel. 089 216 69 03 30 [email protected] Schweizer Hof In the Munich district of Pasing, in the immediate vicinity of Pasing Marienplatz, there is a casual restaurant for the whole family. You will find a wide selection of Munich specialties and delicious drinks. Address & Info: Planegger Strasse 14, 81241 Munich www.schweizer-hof.net Tel. 089 88 18 40 [email protected] Sechzgeralm On Read the full article

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smuttybronde · 7 years ago

Text

Disfigured Perfection

Genre- Smut, Angst, Fluff (at end I swear) (WARNING! RAPE, CHEATING)

Group- SF9

Member- Kim Inseong, Baek Juho/ Zuho

Admin- Aussi

You know those couples people look at and wish they could be? Something everyone wanted to experience. That was what Zuho and I were. It was a love that most people never got to experience, but everyone had dreamed of. We had moved in with each other shortly after high school. He was everything I knew and everything I needed.

When I was sad Zuho was the only one who noticed, the only one who held me when I cried. He was the only person to see all sides of me, all emotions I could possibly go through. No matter what the emotion was, he could calm me down within minutes. He was the one solution that worked every time, my own personal healer, a guardian angel.

I walked into the house, smiling slightly. I had a hard day at work but Zuho was here and would hold me till I forgot it completely… But Zuho’s arms were too occupied to hold me, mouth was too busy to speak words of comfort, eyes-instead of reassuring me that all was okay, were locked on someone else.

I stayed silent, face going blank as my emotions shut down. I spun on my heel and entered the kitchen, hands reached for a glass before pouring the bourbon. My hands shook horribly, some of the hard liquor spilling over the sides of the glass. I kept the bottle in one hand and glass in the other as I walked to the living room and sat on the couch, waiting silently. The liquor was his and stung my throat, burning it like poison. I chuckled. It resembled Zuho pretty well, seemingly innocent but it burns you in the end. I drank the glass as if it was water, unaffected by the pain. I poured another glass.

A sudden realization struck me; I was alone now, no one cared. Who would comfort me now when I could only confide in myself? I poured another glass. Someone who looks me in the eyes everyday and swears to love me forever makes love to another in our bed. I wasn't the most beautiful but I was always convinced by him that I was. He told me he fell for my flaws, but if he loved my flaws why did he find someone else? I poured another glass.

They didn't bother to be quiet and I wondered how many times this would need to happen for both to be comfortable being so loud. It wasn't like I came home early, I came home at the same time everyday. Maybe that was part of the problem. I didn't spice it up, we were too perfect… But I wasn't perfect, far from it and that was why he loved me. If I was perfect what would there be to love? I poured another glass. My throat was numb by now, not the the convenience fazed me. A particularly loud scream caused me to gulp down more of the drink. I poured another glass.

There was silence before footsteps echoed closer.

Zuho looked at me with sheer shock and horror but I couldn't find any guilt in his eyes no matter how hard I looked. “Jaeri..” he whispered.

The girl behind him gave me a bright smile as she strutted over to me. She took the glass out of my hand and chugged the bourbon with ease. After she finished, her tongue danced around the entire rim, teasing me. I clenched my fists, holding in my rage. She handed it back, grabbed the bourbon bottle, and poured more liquor in the glass, “Thanks.” She grinned, moving to blow me a kiss. She pulled Zuho in a one sided lip lock before leaving, the door marking a long silence.

Zuho stood in front of me as I sat, taking a step back as I moved to stand. I dumped the contents of my drink out, the bourbon splashing violently against his face, yet his eyes were still locked on mine. I let out a loud cry, throwing the glass across the room until it hit a wall, shattering upon contact. I threw a pillow at the taller male and he let it hit him square in the chest.

I walked into the kitchen, picking up a dish towel and chucking it at him. As a final touch to my onslaught I threw the salt and pepper shakers, the salt grazing stands of his hair. I took another horrified look at him before walking into the bedroom.

The stench of sex was thick in the air, my nose wrinkling as nausea built in my stomach. My hands ripped at the dirtied sheets, tearing them off the bed. I glided back into the kitchen, shoving the sheets into the garbage can and tying the garbage bag. I slung it in the garage, reminding myself to take it out later.

When I walked back into the house Zuho was waiting for me, speaking for the first time, “She slipped me something, Jaeri, I swear.” He said weakly. If she slipped you something why would it suddenly wear off after he saw me? What position was he in to have someone slip him something in the first place?

“I know you wouldn't do it on purpose.” I lied, gritting my teeth together to keep from yelling. I had dated him for so long that I didn't know what it was like not to. As soon as we graduated we were living together, I had never lived alone. Who would protect me when guys on the street couldn't take no for an answer? Who could I confide in if I broke up with him? So i’ll turn the other cheek, after all- no one is perfect.

A relieved grin spread over his face and he slipped his arms around me to pull me in a hug. The giant bent down to kiss me and I cringed away slightly, but he kept moving in.

When his lips touched mine the only thing running through my head was that her lips were here only mere moments before me. That this may not be the first time i've kissed the same lips as her..

Zuho pushed me on the bed and began to spread my legs. I moved to close them but his legs held mine open as he told me not to be shy. He takes off his clothes and I'm hit with the strong smell of sweat, cheap perfume, and sex. Hickeys are dotted across his skin but I force my eyes to ignore them. I don't look at them but I still see them. He’s grinding against me and moaning but I can't return the feeling of pleasure. I reach to hug him- to desperately grasp some comfort- but I only feel the scratches on his back.

He strips off my clothes while I lay there, staring blankly at the ceiling. Zuho lifts my body and turns it around so he can't see my face. I hear a condom package opening and a sense of panic rushes through me but before I could speak he’s pressing into me and im crying out..

He pushed into me with much effort, “Holy shit, you're tighter than usual.” Zuho commented breathlessly. I let out a cry of pain but he didn't notice, or perhaps he just didn't care. I didn't want this. It didn't feel good in the slightest and I felt tears gather in my eyes from the intense pain. I was tighter because I wasn't wet. How could I be aroused knowing he had slept with someone else less than an hour ago?

He continued thrusting into me, claiming he could loosen me up. I let out a scream of pain, “It's that good Baby? You're not usually this vocal.” He smirked, thinking they were pleased cries. I was sure he tore something. I was sobbing at this point. I didn't want this!

“Stop Zuho!” I whimpered loudly, nails ripping into the mattress.

“Why should I stop if you enjoy it as much as me Baby?” He panted.

“Seriously, Zuho, stop it! Please!” I try to thrash around to throw him off- away- anything to make it stop. He just muttered that he wouldn't do it again and stop being pissy. A few more rough thrusts against the tear and he came.

Zuho pulled out immediately, pulled off the condom, and tossed it in the trash can. He didn't even think of making me cum, not that I wanted him to touch me. It was the realization that he didn't care what I thought. I was a doll, “That was great.” He smiled before cuddling up to my stiff and trembling body, unaware of the tear stains on my cheeks.

As soon as I was sure he fell asleep I pushed his body away and hobbled to the bathroom, wincing on the way. I turned the handle of the shower and carefully stepped in, not even caring about the fact that the water was still cold. I scrubbed roughly at my skin with soap, feeling dirty and used. My nails scraping my skin made some blood appeared but I felt nothing even as scalding water burned into the cuts. I didn't want to smell like her.

I washed between my legs and my thighs. I would have to see a doctor about the intense pain, even though I was sure he tore something. I avoided touching near it and ignored it. Ignored that he could do that to me.

I wasn't ever satisfied with how clean I was, only stopping when I ran out of soap and the cold water became unbearable. I roughly dried myself off, changed into new clothes, and went to sleep on the couch. I just didn't want to touch him or visa versa. I refuse to falsely believe he loved me- cared about me when he didn't. This was the first time in years I fell asleep crying alone, knowing there was no one to turn to.

That I was just another speck of dust in the busy city of Seoul.

I woke up at 5:47 am. I normally took multiple phone alarms to wake me up but now I couldn't sleep. The new- found nightmares haunting me had no one to chase them away, not even the person that caused them.

I sat on the couch for a while before deciding to make breakfast. It would take my mind off things and god did I need something to distract me. I cracked open the eggs with expertise, the sound of them cooking filling my ears. Once they were done I moved on to bacon. The grease bubbled a bit before popping, a drop hitting my hands and I hissed, recoiling. I continued to cook despite the burn, attempting to focus on the wondrous smell of the meat.

The stench hit me before I felt him touch me. Even though her perfume shouldn't have been still there after sleep and sex- if you could call what we did sex- it remained strong.

His arms snaked around my waist and even through my clothes I felt the strong urge to itch at my skin. He never showered. I was pressed against his bare chest, gritting my teeth not to shove him away. He betrayed me but he’s all I have, “I slept better last night then I have in years.” Zuho commented, head resting on my shoulder. I felt a pang in my chest. He slept better when I wasn't there.

“That's great!” I choked out, faking a smile. He didn't notice and I felt another pang. After all these years he couldn't tell when I faked a smile.

“You must have slept well too! You even woke up early to make me breakfast,” he kissed my cheek and I flinched slightly before faking a smile.

I thought time would ebb away the pain, or make the memories dissolve as if they were never there...but they didn't. In fact after two months it hurt just as much to pretend we were still a perfect couple without any issues.

Zuho’s arms were slung across my shoulders, the weight of his arm giving me a restless feeling in my gut. I pretended I didn't feel as antsy as I did, we were with a few friends after all. At least I didn't feel the itching sensation that made me want to claw at my skin anymore.

“So you're telling me that you tried to seduce the police officer?” Chani wheezed, face bright red from laughing so hard.

“What else was I supposed to do, i'm piss poor!” Dawon said, exasperated as he threw his hands in the air.

“It was a guy, you really thought it would work?” My boyfriend laughed, smiling brightly.

“I didn't have much of a choice,” He whined, “Besides I could've sworn he was checking me out!” Everyone was practically crying with laughter, well everyone except me, who was forcing a chuckle.

“He was making sure you didn't have any weapons, Dumbass.” Inseong chuckled. Zuho pulled me into his lap and wrapped his arms around my waist, making me tense up more than possible at the skinship. Inseong’s laughter quieted down as he looked at me.

“I didn't know that! I'm an idiot!” Dawon cried defensively. I ignored the small change in mood Inseong had. If I acted normal there was nothing to be suspicious of.

“We know.” Youngbin commented. Zuho placed a kiss on my lips, causing me flinch instinctively. I let him kiss me back didn't kiss back, not that he minded. Inseong narrowed his eyes, noticing my reaction and noting it wearily.

“Chill out with the kissing you two,” Dawon scolded, “speaking of kissing, I didn't think he would panic over a small kiss, I didn't even use tongue.”

“Didn't think he would panic? He just wanted to give you ticket not get Herpes.”

“I do NOT have Herpes!”

“Ah so Chlamydia then?”

“Hey!” Laughter erupted once again and I stood up. Everyone looked at me and I smiled weakly.

“Bathroom.” I said. In the bathroom I quickly splashed my face with cold water and began to wipe my lips. After I was satisfied with it I walked out of the bathroom to join the group again.

Before I had taken three steps, someone grabbed my wrist. I turned, fist raised to hit someone when I saw a familiar face. I let out a deep breath and chuckled slightly in relief, “Inseong, you scared the hell out of me.”

He just looked blankly at me, I held my breath nervously. “Are you okay, Jaeri?” he said simply. I looked at the protectiveness and concern in his eyes, melting a bit.

“I'm okay.” I replied, hands ruffling his hair gently. And through the lie I gave the most genuine smile I had given anyone in two months. Because I found someone who cared, even for a second.

The doorknob fell from my hand gently as I lost my grip. My feet moved slowly, my body weighing as much as an anchor. Tears built steadily in my eyes. He said he wouldn't do it again, he said he wouldn't do her again. I collapsed on the couch, crying loudly as every moan sent an arrow through me.

I heard the front door close and had the sudden realization that the door was still open. I bolted off the couch to look at who was in the house, surprised that it was Inseong. A grocery bag was in his hand, holding beer and chicken. He looked me in the eyes, shocked that I was crying. He dropped the bags and rushed over to me, embracing me in his arms, hands wiping at my tears as he looked at me. “Jaeri why are you crying?” He asked, “Where is-” a loud moan cut him off.

His face went blank as be looked at me, slowly changing to immeasurable fury, “Who the fuck is that.” He said lowly. My bottom lip quivered, a loud groan coming from the bedroom, “That sound like Zuho.” He growled, voice shaking with rage. He moved to storm into the bedroom but I grabbed the sleeve of his shirt. He sharply looked back at me, eyes softening significantly when he looked at me, “You're letting him do this?” Inseong sounded broken-hearted.

“Just don't,” I whimpered, gazing at his torn face, “please.” His jaw clenched as he stepped closer to me, pulling me into his arms. That's when I lost it. I was still defending Zuho, even while he was fucking some other girl in our bed.

My hands clenched his shirt and his hands rubbed soothing circles on my back. My tears soaked through his shirt and I felt the most vulnerable i've ever felt in front of someone. I hated it but what was there to love about this situation?

We stood like that for a while, rocking from side to side, and attempting to ignore what was going on a few feet from us. We heard the shuffling sounds of feet, I dug my face further in Inseong’s chest so I didn't have to see their faces again. “-eally need to leave before Jaeri comes ho-” Zuho ushered in his deep voice before stopping abruptly.

I pulled away from my Inseongs chest only to see the same girl from two months ago. Be strong, be the bigger person. I looked up and at Zuho, who looked pale. His hair was a mess, lips red and puffy, with bites covering his bare chest. Fuck being strong- that's being weak. She looked at me and smiles in satisfaction, I smiled back at her, making her face sank into slight confusion, “Was it nice?” I asked sweetly and her smirk returned, still slightly weary.

“It was really good. He enjoyed it more than I did though.” She shrugged simply.

“So what's your name?” I asked, sitting on my couch, relaxed. I held a blank facial expression.

“Dasung.”

“Is that your real name or alias?” I asked nonchalantly and her face becoming pinched and perplexed.

“What?” She said, voice slightly higher.

“Don't hookers have fake names?” Her teeth clenched together and anger began to fill her eyes.

“I'm not a hooker.” Dasung hissed

“Ahh I see. So you're a call girl then.”

“I'm not.” She growled. I burst into full on knee slapping laughter, Zuho looked concerned, adding to my laughter. Be confused for all I care. We ignored both of the boys.

“What's so funny?”

“So you're actually such a whore that you will sleep multiple times with a man who is dating someone? Woah, you're really pathetic. Do you sleep with the first person who shows interest because you can't get someone on your own? Men can smell your desperation even if you douse yourself in cheap perfume, sweetheart.”

“People hit on me all the time. I just thought that I would try out your boyfriend because an ugly bitch didn't seem to satisfy him.” And there it was, another attempt at a remark meant to make me crumple into a heap of tears but hell if I was going to give her what she wanted again.

“Sorry I don't give out enough to meet a your standards. Now that we got that out, please get out of my house.” I said this as politely as possible.

“I think he’s going to need me a few more times. Maybe I should stay here.” She said, voice strained. She kept pushing and pushing to hurt me, but the numbness had already set in. With every remark she made I felt the urge to hurt her threefold.

“If you want him, you can have him.” This made her proud facade crack further.

“I'm not into relationships.”

“Prostitute, I forgot. Now please get out.”

“I'm not a prostitute and I'm not leaving!” Her face was red with anger as she shrieked at me.

“I'm sorry, I forgot.” I pulled out my wallet, handing a few twenties to her, Is this enough?” She slapped the money out of my hands and I picked it up.

“Shut the fuck up!” She screamed. I held the money out for her again and she slapped it out of my hands for the second time. I picked it up and threw them at her.

“I said, please get out!” I yelled. She moved to slap me but I caught her hand and pinned it to her side. I slapped Dasung hard enough for her to stumble slightly. Tears ran down her cheeks as she walked out of the house, stilettos clacking loudly. I now turned to look at Zuho, “Why.”

“I was drunk.” He whispers.

Inseong clenched his jaw, stepping in, “And you suddenly aren't drunk?” He hissed.

“I sobered up and stopped once I realized. I can't control myself when i'm drunk, Jaeri you know this!” He plead, begging me to believe him.

“Then stop fucking drinking Zuho!” The other man roared, stepping closer to him. Zuho opened his mouth to say something but before he could Inseong threw a solid punch to his cheekbone. A startled gasp flew from my lips as a blood began to drip from my boyfriends face. The ring Inseong wore had cut his cheek.

The brown haired male moved to pull me out of the apartment but Zuho took a hold of his forearm. Tears fell down from his cheeks and he gazed deeply into my eyes “ Jaeri, please stay. Im sorry, im so sorry!” He gasped.

“If you were sorry then you wouldn't do it again!” I yelled.

“I had to!”

“No you didn't!” I wanted to forget that it ever happened not relive the experience. Once was enough, I didn't need more!

“I JUST WANTED SOMEONE WHO COULD TOUCH ME WITHOUT DISGUST!” He cried.

“I WAS TRYING!” I screamed. I could have left but I tried to pretend it didn't happen, I just...couldn't.

“That doesn't explain why he did it the first time!” Inseong growled, glaring at him.

“I didn't think.”

“You can't just not think about that after so many years with Jaeri!” They each took a step forward when they spoke.

“I just didn't!”

“Why!”

“BECAUSE I WAS BORED OKAY!” Zuho bellowed.

“YOU CAN'T DO THAT! YOU CAN'T JUST DECIDE YOU’RE BORED ZUHO, WHAT THE FUCK!”

“WHY DOES IT EVEN MATTER TO YOU, YOU’RE MY FRIEND!”

“BECAUSE I LOVED HER FIRST!” Inseong howled, “I loved her first...I watched her from afar when she was upset. When you were screwing girls I looked at her and tried to bring myself to talk to her! And the day I went to comfort her you got there first. You met her first and comforted her first but I was the one who loved her first! I didn't fight for her because I thought you would treat her like a princess! If I knew from the beginning you would do this I would never have let you come near her.” And with that I was dragged out of the apartment and into a car. The engine of the car roared as he sped down the road. His fingers were white from how hard he held the steering wheel and his jaw was clenched angrily as he stared at the road ahead.

Inseong didn't calm down till we were in his house and even then he attempted to pamper me as much as possible, all his anger turned into concern for me. He wrapped me in puffy blankets and set a hot chocolate in from of me, marshmallows and all, “How can I help you? How can I make you forget about that ass?” He asked, looking sincerely into my eyes.

“Revenge. I want you to make me forget that he ever touched me and made me happy.” He looked into my eyes, checking to see if I meant it. I did. His hands slowly moved to my face, cupping my cheeks. He slowly leaned in to press his lips against mine. I had never looked at Inseong closely and didn't expect his lips to be as soft as they were. I was embarrassed for a moment about how chapped and cracked my lips were but he didn't seem to notice and nor did he care. He was gentle; something Zuho hadn't been in a while- or now that I thought about it, he hadn't been gentle for years.

I shoved the blankets off the couch and walked over to the chair he sat in. I sat on his lap, my legs on both sides of him. I placed his hands on my hips, slowly dragging them up my sides. He got what I was hinting at, moving his hands freely. They moved over my hip bones, over my stomach, under the back of my shirt. His fingers slowly worked to unclip my bra, throwing it aside after he finished. He helped me pull my shirt over my head yet never glanced at my exposed skin.

His eyes were focused on my own, staring at me adoringly with a passionate undertone. He kept the eye contact as he pressed a chaste kiss on each of my boobs.

He pressed his forehead to mine, closing his eyes. His gentle hands began to roam, making sure to touch every centimeter of hot flesh. They traced around my breast, squeezing slightly. His palms were now over my nipples, kneading gently as I moaned. His hands moved to my back, sliding down on each side of my spine till they reached the dip of my back. He was almost hugging me, our bodies pressed together hotly. They moved back to the front, tracing over my hip bones. His hands moved down slightly, thumbs moving into the waistband of my skirt then into my panties. He slowly pulled both of the garments down. My legs stepped out of them, kicking them aside. His hands went back onto my flesh, moving from my calves up and sliding under my butt.

He reached over to the side table, pulling out a condom. The man opened it and tugged it down onto his dick, “Are you sure you want to do this?” Inseong’s pupils were blown as he asked.

“Yes, im sure.” I confirmed, eyes hooded slightly with lust.

I slowly sank down on Inseong’s cock, the slow stretch something I enjoyed for once. I didn't let Zuho touch me for so long, my frustration was turning into dripping lust. Inseong seemed like just the person to give me what I craved.

I didn't wait, starting to bounce on him despite the pain of the stretch and mental trauma from the tear Zuho gave me. It had healed but a mental scar remained. Sensing this, Inseong grabbed my hips and held then down. I looked at him, confused “What are you doing?” He wrapped his arms around my waist, peppering gentle kisses to the space between my breasts.

“You're in pain. Both people need to be happy to make love and if you're in pain you're not happy. Don't push yourself.” He murmured softly against my flesh. My heart warmed and I smiled.

He pressed his lips to mine, tongue pushing through my lips and electricity surged through me. His tongue stroked mine, exploring the inside of my mouth fully. He tilted his head to deepen it slightly.

Inseong only pulled away after our bodies were crying for air. He moved to my neck, nothing at the skin and littering my skin with hickeys. I felt him rock his hips slightly, suddenly remembering that I was sitting on his cock. That he had distracted me until he was sure the pain vanished and even then he was rocking into me gently.

Soft moans and pants left my lips as I felt a sensation I hadn't experienced before. It wasn't pleasure alone, it was love. For once I felt loved while having sex.

He began to rock harder, hips pushing up slightly to reach deeper. I began to move my hips at the rate of his thrusts, making the feelings rock though our bodies. Inseong and I moaned simultaneously.

His arms wrapped around my waist, pulling our bodies flush together as he speared into me. My heart fluttered slightly. He picked up his phone, opening up the camera. He clicked the record button.

His hips moved in a flash, bouncing me up and down. I moaned loudly as he roughly hit my G spot. He stopped thrusting and I whimpered in protest, “You're going to have to take control, Baby.” Inseong groaned.

I planted my feet on the floor and began to bounce on his cock, grinding on him every time I got to the base of it. I angled myself so that when I sunk down I hit my G spot. I cried out louder, back arching. “Inseong im so close!” I cried, nails pressing into his back. Inseong stopped recording.

He held one of my hips down and began to thrust very slowly, “You can't come quite yet, Baby. Now are you fine with me sending that video of me fucking you to Zuho?” He asked while I moaned. I nodded my head quickly. Inseong clicked his tongue, “That's not going to work baby girl, I need verbal consent.” He chided.

“Yes, yes you can send it to him! Hurry!” I cried, trying to bounce down on him and failing. He sent it and looked at me with satisfaction.

“You can't cum until he see’s it. He has to see how pretty you look riding me.” Inseong tutted, thrusting gently. I rocked against him, desperate for more. It seemed to go on for hours, working myself to get close before being denied the right. Inseong suddenly grinned before he thrusted up roughly. I cried out in joy as I was filled perfectly to the brim. A happy smile rested on my lips as I was bounced from the thrusts, my boobs jiggling slightly from the force.

I tried to hold in the orgasm that bubbled in me, pulling Inseong into a messy kiss. He pulled away, a trail of saliva connecting our lips, “Cum.” He groaned, thrusting into me at a fast rate. He pressed against my G spot, abusing it over and over again. His hands rubbed my back soothingly. My eyes closed in pleasure as I screamed out. Inseong silenced me with a kiss as we came together.

We panted for a moment before he lifted me up and placed me back on the couch, wrapping me in blankets once again. He kissed my hair, stroking it gently. He was quiet for a while before he spoke up, but even then he was quiet, “ Jaeri, do you-” he paused, “regret what we just did?” I thought about it for a moment.

There was finally another person who cared about me and wanted me to feel safe. Maybe he was the only one who cared all along. And now that I noticed him how could I forget him? “No, I don't think I do. If anything I think this is the first thing in a while I haven't regretted.”

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thebackroadtourist · 7 years ago

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Eating Abroad: How To Find Balance On The Road.

Backpacking is hard enough. It tests you in ways you could never imagine. When you take an open-ended backpacking trip you will inevitably navigate foreign land surrounded by strangers who don’t speak a lick of your language. You will feel lost at times, lonely, hungry, thirsty, emotionally pushed to your limits and you will be without your favorite snack.…yeah, hanger is a real thing. So why make it all harder for yourself?

Imagine this: *You get off the bus in a small town in Colombia, it’s a scorching 95 degrees outside and you’re starving, exhausted, and sick of schlepping your 60 liter backpack. The mid afternoon sun is beaming down on you as beads of sweat roll into your eyes. You’re haven’t eaten since the early morning and you don’t know where you’re sleeping that night. You need food in your belly before you search for a hostel. Food is calling your name. But you’re vegan, by choice. You search and search, scanning down street after street with no sign of a vegan option, only cheese empanadas. You’e been living off of exotic Costa Rican fruits for the past month so your’e craving a papaya. You can’t find one. With no tienda’s in sight where you could at least get some pretzels, you finally spot a street vendor in the near distance. You approach the vendor in hopes of sinking your teeth into fresh delicious vegan food, maybe a few ears of corn or some yucca fries. You confidently approach the man behind the steaming cart. As it turns out he is frying up plantains and you order 10 of them, turning down the delicious dairy-based yogurt sauce that accompanies it. You find a small stoop to sit on and munch on the plantains that were just fried in mystery oil. It’s delicious but quite dry because you turned down the sauce. You finish your “meal” but it leaves you feeling parched and for some reason you just aren’t satisfied. The lack of protein and amino acids leave you sluggish as you continue on with your day.*

^That was me 3 years ago on my first ever backpacking trip. This true story along with many situations like that made me one stressed out vegan - more stressed than I should have ever been! During this time I was a new vegan having just watched the horrifying documentaries on Netflix and convinced that plants were sufficient enough for me to sustain life.

Now don't get me wrong, I admire veganism and I myself eat a diet comprised mainly of vegan food. I buy vegan products and it sickens me how factory farm animals can be mistreated. However during this trip I let my extremism get the best of me despite my opportunity to eat fresh, local, sustainable, delicious (and still healthy) food made from scratch by locals who really know how to cook. Instead, I resorted to fruit and peanut butter, became malnourished, lost weight and eventually became ill.

Food is an important part of travel and I believe it is integral to sink your teeth into the flesh of wherever you are, literally. International travel is an opportunity to open up, expand your horizons and try new things. It’s a chance to step outside of yourself. You may only be there once in your entire, so why create needless boundaries?

Here is another story: *A week prior to my plantain experience I was sitting in the city square of Cartagena on a Friday night with a group of backpackers I befriended on the ferry ride over the day before from Panama. The smell of BBQ filled our nostrils as street vendors began to grill burgers besides us. Of course everyone in the group ordered a fat juicy burger except for me. I was stuck with fries, because that was all I told myself I could eat. They munched and moaned over what they referred to as “the best burger they have ever had” as juice from the patty dripped down their chins. My subconscious jealously skyrocketed as I began to consciously resent every one of them for being “ignorant” and “uneducated” about the impact of meat consumption on themselves, the animals, and the planet, turning over my pent up frustration on to them. But then that anger turned into resentment towards…ME. I felt stupid in that moment for having such a narrow mind regarding food and even more stupid for building a wall around myself during this time of my life where I should be exploring. In that moment my self-pity reached it’s limit and I wanted to break down that wall and end my 8 month vegan streak but I knew that a greasy burger would make me vomit since I hadn’t consumed meat in so long. So I persevered and continued to nibble on my fries.*

^Since this break-through of mine, I began incorporating quality meats and cheeses into my travels, balanced out with the typical vegan food I normally eat at home, such as greens, fruits, legumes, nuts and seeds. And because of this, my openness to try new things and my limitless potential to experience foods I have never eaten, have exponentially heightened my overall enjoyment of travel.

A paleo diet is restricting as well, along with other fad diets which are fine when you’re at home however I suggest you drop it when you’re on the road. Why? Because you can always come back home and pick up where you left off. Food is an important element in travel, and can make for the best memories.

Throughout my most recent backpacking trip through the Balkans, I met a few vegans. Two of them were new vegans who reminded me a lot like myself on my first backpacking trip. I could sense their tension. They complained how “hard it was” to travel through the Balkans on a vegan diet (which is nearly impossible). One of them even remarked “That smells SO good,” when my lamb dish came to the table. An extreme (and new) vegan I met in Greece was restricted to only one restaurant throughout her week in the village I stayed in, and honestly her restaurant wasn’t that good. I could tell she wasn’t too happy, plus she got salty towards me when I refused her offer to join her for dinner one night.

That being said, whatever you eat - you must always be careful with the food you eat, anywhere you go. If you’re going to Italy for only a week, go ahead and splurge on all the gelato, pasta and meat you can handle, eat it all - ALL OF IT! However if you’re in Italy for an entire month, go inevitably crazy for the first week and then slow it down a bit. When you travel you tend to eat foods that are heavier than foods you normally eat. You must find balance. Be mindful of your consumption quantities and try not to over-do it. You eyes are always bigger than your stomach when you travel, at least mine are. When I was in Italy I ate a substantial amount of dairy in literally every meal. In the States I rarely consume dairy. So what happened? Two weeks into dairy-city I got sick!

That is why I have created a set of key points for eating abroad. Think of this as your “10 Conscious Commandments to Keeping a Healthy Body and Mind”:

1. If a healthcare professional has not assigned a specific diet for you to overcome a dis-ease in your body, do NOT create one for yourself. If you find yourself depriving yourself of food that would otherwise be perfectly healthy for you, ask yourself “Why.” *If you are a veteran vegan who will never cheat on your diet and you know ahead of time where to eat or you bring your own food for a trip abroad, then great!* Otherwise, why even bother going to places that you know won’t accommodate you? There are no vegetables in Albania.

2. When you deprive yourself from experiencing foods, you miss out on the true authentic local flavors. There truly are incredible foods out there in this world,

3. When you deprive yourself of certain foods, especially in countries that eat mostly those foods you deprive yourself of, you risk malnourishment and your chance of becoming sick increases.

4. When you deprive yourself of certain foods you miss out on social memories. Eating is a social experience. If you don’t have an allergy or a sensitivity to something, just eat it. It will bond you closer to people.

5. When you deprive yourself of foods, stress may (and most likely will) accumulate, even on the subconscious level. The stress / resentment towards yourself or others in regards to eating a particular food will bottle up inside you, hence creating a tensified aura around you.

6. Always bring vegan probiotics when traveling abroad. Heavy foods can create mucus in your GI tract and the mucus producing areas in your body will follow suit, including sinuses and ears.

7. Do your best to eat light and clean meals on days in between large and heavy meals. Get a juice. Buy a smoothie. Eat some fruit. Cleanse yourself from time to time on long trips to prevent sickness and built up mucus.

8. Exercise! You gotta do more than just walk. Wake up early and jog around the city center, or find a park to do yoga in. Maybe find a conducive space in your hostel or place of stay to do some push-ups, squats, lunges, and other bodyweight exercises that can get your heart-rate up and your body moving. Swimming is also a great exercise. Your body is your vehicle, take care of it! I am a big advocate for meditation as well.

9. Drink clean water. This may be my most important commandment of all. Water quality varies by country so please do your homework and know when you need to buy bottled water. In Central and South America water it is not advised to drink water straight from the tap. South-Eastern European countries also have sketchy tap water. I got sick in Albania from drinking their tap water. When you brush your teeth rinse your mouth with bottled water. Avoid iced drinks and ice cubes including iced coffee and teas. And beware of people selling bottled water on the streets that were previously opened and filled with tap water (this scam happens more so than one might think), so always check the seal before purchasing.

10. Life with NO REGRETS. Eat with NO GUILT.

In conclusion, balance balance balance. Aim for the middle path. Too much or too little of one thing can create an imbalance in your health. If you are vegan it is possible to life a vegan lifestyle at home and cheat a little on the road to experience a place more fully. There is nothing wrong with some flexibility, even if it’s one or two bites. I just want YOU to experience the most out of life. :)

#travel #food #eatingabroad #foodabroad #eatclean #noregrets #guiltfree #veganism #veganfood #meateaters #carnivore #omnivore #how to eat healthy #howtoeatright #how to eat clean #eating vegan

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ts-seychelles · 6 years ago

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EP. 11 - “I Was Able To Dodge That Bullet” - VILMA

I literally look like the biggest boo boo the fool right now. Like I’m so cocky and stupid and tumblr survivor makes me want to eat glass

https://youtu.be/GAe_c8bHBjc

Okay honestly, after that tribal, I feel fucking awesome, and so many people still have no idea what happened First off, Jared I am so sorry that you believed my PMs during Tribal that I thought I had the votes to get out Nicole.. I knew one of you would play something, and I high key would not be surprised if Nicole ended up actually having another big ticket advantage sitting in her pocket from ghost island, but im going to wait on that concept for now until i see something from them. Maybe we can flush another advantage out of their pockets? lmao I am protecting Jared's role in this for as long as I possibly can, and Roxy's too. I had Dan hammering me for who told about the plan, and then ofc Alex wanted to know too, but he can eat a dick for all I care (in the context of the game of course.... love him to death as a person), and I'm just not going to tell anyone. I want Jared to maintain all the relationships he has on a 100% trust basis, so that way if he feels like he's gotta tell me something, he's going to be able to have that information I had to fill Regan in, and I know she is still 100% on my side because she is being VERY open about who she wants out after what happened this round. Dan? I really really want to trust him again, and I think I cut a huge tie of his removing Ricky from the game, and now I have to give him a little bit of what he wants.. I want to pick his brain and really see his top choice of who he wants to go this round, and I am going to try to help him be successful in that move, so that he can trust me. I really want him to say that he wants to go for someone, and for me to 100% support him on it. It's going to be one of the biggest leaps hopefully, in his eyes, that I trust him again and I've got his back.. As for Asya, who was another one who I was surprised about.. She doesn't know that I know yet, that she spilled our alliance to Ricky, and that Ricky dished that information back to Dan, and THAT is another reason as to why Dan didn't trust me, so I'm keeping my eye on that for now, but I really just want Asya to trust me also. I knew I needed Asya and Dan back on my side the MOST after this entire debocle, and by getting rid of Ricky, which cuts off both of their ties with a strong player, I draw them closer to me, and them seeing me as one of their bigger options. The best thing with Asya too is that we had a legitimately genuine conversation about how we could get closer and we should open up more about our personal lives and not even get to know each other on a game level, just because this is our second game going deep together, and I want to get to know her y'know!!! I think my position is definitely a million times better than it was before tribal, but I'm definitely not out of the weeds yet. Dan and Asya seem to be back and genuine with me, and I know Jared isn't going to just save me one round, and then take me out the following round. It'd be foolish, so i think I've got that relationship too, along with my strong allegiances with the people I've already been working with, knew about every facet of that move, and still trust me (i.e. Augusto, Roxy, Vilma, Regan). I know that my chances of making it to the end are getting smaller and smaller because what I did to protect myself, and HOW I pulled the move off really impressed my closest allies, and I know the gold medal is a lot more appealing when there's 6-7 people left in the game than loyalties, so I know my chances are already shot, especially because the only people I think would actually want me to go to the end with them are Augusto and Vilma, and even then is a bit of a stretch, so now it's just a game of how deep I can get and how well I can play off everything that's just happened....... As for my next move? Literally chop Alex's head off with a machete until he's into a million pieces, cooked in the shitty ass pot we've been using for 34 days, and then be gone :) 1. Telling me at tribal that we weren't going to rocks LIVE to try to get me to change my idol play was a MOOD. Alex is dead ass one of the worst liars ever, and if you know you can't let things come out of your mouth and be 100% confident you're being convincing with what you're saying, then leave it over text.. like lol 2. Looking like his dog fucking died when I played my idol was priceless, but also extremely telling of how badly he wanted me out 3. Lying to me the entire day and not telling me about the vote...... bitch bye 4. Saying "ha ha" when I said "final two my ass" when the votes were being read 5. RE ENFORCING THE F2 WE HAD FOUR DAYS BEFORE THIS TRIBAL COUNCIL HAPPENED...... literally such an lol So yea. I think I have more. I definitely would have to go back in my host chat, but in the realm of the game, everything Alex has done has made me want nothing more than for him to go, and the best thing about this entire concept is that I think there are people on "the other side" who would not mind voting out Alex either because his social game kinda sucks and he's a liability to keep around because he is the entire reason the Dan blindside got blown up, and I know Jared was pissed about that.. The reasons are too good, but now it's just if I can pull it off. At the end of the day, I'm on cloud nine after that last tribal, and it's time to go to work to see if I can make a thing or two more go my way.. I'm just trying to survive as long as I can and continue to have fun playing the game, bc tbh, I'm having a fucking blast right now lmao

(A LITTLE LATER)

THIS IS ALSO ANOTHER REALLY FUNNY MOOD BIG PRO OF RICKY GOING HOME WAS THAT I DIDN'T HAVE REGAN COME BACK TO RICKY SAYING "oh yea johnny said in the main chat that you wanted me out by accident" BC I DID DO THAT, BUT NOW RICKY ISN'T HERE TO TELL THE TALE Hopefully Regan isn't mad at me and finds out about it at some point, but Ricky said he didn't even pick up on it when I said it the first time lmao oops? Ready for this auction tomorrow!!!!!!

I stan trying our best to win things in the auction, only to win absolutely nothing. I am laughing so hard haha my life Is falling apart, I can't even get an idol, Nicole goes to Ghost Island. I am literally shook. It's not really bad for my game? And I feel like I'm good at Touchy Subjects? Idk, I'm just hoping I make single digits. As far as my game goes, I'm gonna try to be super social this round and make up some time. I want to get back with Johnny and Augusto and really form a bond with them again because I feel kinda bad about the last round, but also not at the same time?? dflkjdaslkfdj idk? I feel like this game is picking up and I really like where I'm sitting.

that auction sucked

https://youtu.be/vrhmDKxdB7w

I forgot to make a confessional again. Anyways, so the true tea is I have no clue what is going on in this game at this point. I’m pretty sure I’m the weakest competitor here? Which is fun because nobody will go for me heh heh heh heh, and this round they can’t anyway because I am on GHOSF ISLAND! It’s very lonely here and Isaac has not yet let me play the game but it’d be super cute if I got something else that I could will to Jared because I think he might be in trouble this round. We are going to hang out with Johnny today in person and I CANT talk about the game with either of them which is a blessing because I feel like it’s all they would talk about with me. Anyways I think everyone knows....I’m not giving my 100% effort to this game right now. But once I tackle this depression and my hair grows out and I lose ten pounds and get my ghost island game and get an idol and idol out Johnny even though he’s immune and Johnny drags Vilma and Dan out with him so I don’t have to ever vote Dan out, it’s over for your bitches. Straight up.

https://youtu.be/3rwZpqAyoUE

This round should be interesting? I kinda feel good? But I’m not entirely sure obviously. I feel like I have no other play but be with Augusto, Johnny, and Vilma. I feel like I could get closer to Jared, but I’m tired of playing the middle. I feel like I’m doing okay for not even doing well in any of these challenges. I’m trying not to be too much of a comp threat this game. I love my edgic being INV this round probably bc I’m not doing shit

I think my name has been completely worked out of the discussion for this round. I hope that's accurate, if not... good on everyone. Now I just have an important game altering decision to make. Augusto or Alex? Well, it turns out Regan might be idoling Augusto? Which is good I guess, but if Alex plays an idol too, THEN WHAT. So I could throw my vote on Dan, with the potential of it going to a tied vote. If I got rocked out because of that?? Never forgiving myself. I don't know what I'm going to do quite yet, but I have less than 40 mins to figure it out. The other thing is that I could be getting votes and look like an even bigger idiot for making this confessional. Oof. Okay let's take a look-see at the numbers. Johnny, Augusto, Roxy, *Regan- Alex Alex, Asya, Dan, Vilma- Augusto * = unsure. I could weaken Dan tremendously here by taking out Alex, but I'm also taking out someone who I've been loyal to the whole time. I have built a lot of trust with Johnny by leaking last rounds vote, and I literally met him and Ryan from Mykonos with Nicole today in Times Square. And then Disney Amanda and Steffen showed up. Iconic? I am partial to testing Johnny's trust, but, I don't really trust him at all. I really really trust Roxy though, which could be a huge mistake. I see her and Asya as frontrunners at this point. Anyways this is getting rambling but this game is a MESS and I feel like a sapphire-idoly boii Tune into tribal, it could very well be a good one folks.

Aaaaalright last round was such an emotional rollercoaster I had to skip confessionals to avoid having to cringe at them afterwards. Here's a recap: Earlier I was told rumors that Johnny had been talking around telling several people that Dan and I wanted to vote Nicole out, which I don't ever recall telling to anybody so when I heard about the rumors I was obviously suuuper confused. Days went by and I had heard from multiple different people that Johnny was the one to start those rumors but I remained suspicious, because I couldn't really see a good enough motive for Johnny to do that. People kept telling me that he has a tendency of wanting to play the puppet master and wanting to shake things up and cause drama between people. I didn't want to believe it but since nobody ever came forward to deny the rumors I decided to keep my eye on him. Next tribal I heard Johnny was getting targeted, and originally I was trying to see if there was any way I could save him from going home, but I knew Dan was unhappy with the Johnny rumors and would likely flip to take him out, so I decided it would be smart of me to go along with the majority and sacrifice him. I also saw him as a big threat, so even though I genuinely like him, I didn't think it would have been a horrible thing from my perspective if he went home. But a little over an hour before tribal Johnny comes forward to tell me that he has an idol! Plus he asked me permission to pretend it was the idol I found from Takamaka. I WAS SHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOK because I ended up somehow unwillingly positioned in the middle of this whole mess and whatever I decided to do I would end up backstabbing someone and making them angry. I was having a major breakdown in my host chat but let's not talk about that. Then Johnny asked me to actually vote HIM so people wouldn't suspect we were working together....... O-M-G. That plan sounded perfect; I wouldn't have to backstab anyone and I would have a chance to get out of a shitty situation without too much blood on my hands. Johnny tried to make me change my vote to Nicole last minute but I refused and voted Johnny anyways to keep on everyone's good side, whoops. I was also pretty happy Johnny decided to idol Ricky out, since I never talked to him too much and he was close to Dan and Asya, who I hope will now more likely rely on my help if they ever need extra numbers to make a move. After the vote I tried to clear things up with Dan, Asya and Johnny and I think nobody is too angry at me anymore which is nice. I was afraid I'd end up in the middle of a huge drama and I'd like to consider myself a drama-free person so phew I'm so happy I was able to dodge that bullet. Okay this confessional is already super long I think I'm writing a separate one about this round see you soon HEHE.

I’ll make a more in depth one soon but some people are trying it tonight and like... where has this trying energy been all game (@Alex) because it jumped out all of a sudden! If I do go home tonight, I think I’ve played a solid game thus far and had a pretty good experience as people such as Johnny, Vilma, Regan, Dan, Roxy, and even Jared sometimes have been awesome to me and made things fun! ❤️

okay uhm confessional time i----- I won immunity, which was awesome. The killer touchy subjects strategy of putting what you think the majority is going to say both times came in CLUTCH In terms of the touchy subjects answers? nothing really surprises me. being predicted to be voted out next just makes the most sense since seven people just voted for me.. so I understand why i got that one. I should've put myself too tbh, but I think I got the more intuitive ones correct, so that made me feel kinda good Tonight's tribal? I'm praying Alex goes home.. The kid still hasn't come to me about voting for me, after swearing up down left and right a f2 with me, and I find it kinda shookening, especially since his name is going around tonight, and I'm genuine when I say that if he just approached me, I probably wouldn't have been so hellbent on wanting him out, but oh well.. i hope he goes I know Augusto is getting the other bulk of the votes? I'm not SUPER sure who is voting where.. i've heard dan is being a dickhead again and he might go for augusto. I know Regan might be playing her idol on Augusto at tribal, which would be #dramaaaaaaaaaa and I really hope that this is alex or asya maybe playing a vote steal to get the numbers on their side, because then regan would LEGITIMATELY have to play the idol.. oh well, we'll see. she said she'd play it on him also in other news, I hungout with Jared and Nicole IRL, and because we RESPECT the game that's going on, when we were walking around the city, I spent a lot of time talking to Jared about today's vote and how arbitrary it's been for us to be on opposite sides, and guaranteeing that if we joined together that there'd be nothing stopping us, and then he offered me a 100% f3 with him, that we'd try to get to the end of the game together. I am 100% planning on accepting it with the intended purpose of keeping it true. I just hope that it isn't one of those things where he's like "oh yea we're not going to vote you" but then votes out all of my closest allies instead and im stuck in the game getting dragged to finals via jared's strategic play, but honestly, I believe the man. He seemed very genuine, and if he isn't being genuine, then he's a snake and it is what it is anywhom.. praying augusto stays and nothing bad happens to him. alex going would be best for my game, especially because I just think he deserves what's coming to him after how last round went with him and I, and the excuses he made for breaking our f2

I trust no one but Johnny fuck everyone. Fuck wasting my idol. But I have to Jared and Johnny both told me to play it so he res to that

#itsgametimekids

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twindianstakesoutheastasia · 6 years ago

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We now work in Banh Mi Currency (nah that's worth 5 banh mi it's too expensive)

After an amazing time in Dalat and being forced to give goodbye hugs to Mr. Peace we boarded our overnight bus to our next stop- Hoi An.

In true organised Vietnam fashion the bus was overbooked and we had to race onto the bus just to get seats so we were standing for the 10 hours. The bus was going well and we all managed to get some sleep up until the bus drivers switched and was replaced with a driver who had serious road rage and an obsession with beeping the horn for absolutely everything, which together made sleeping rather difficult. Sleepy and bleary eyed we arrived in Hoi An!

After showering and refreshing ourselves following the sticky ride we were ready to start exploring. We could immediately tell why everyone loved and raved about Hoi An- it’s a beautifully preserved ancient town which has a mixture of colourful French colonial buildings and wooden Chinese temples with all the streets lined with their famous lanterns.

As well as its beauty, Hoi An is also world famous for its cheap tailor shops, and as the suckers for clothes that we are, we wasted no time in ordering some clothes.

We thought this would be a cute girly trip to the shops but we were OH so wrong. Not surprisingly, 35 degree heat with the locals pestering you it is very hard to decide what design and material you want. We ended up going to the most famous shop - YALY but unfortunately they were not to polite to us until they realised we were spending money- classique. We went to a second shop as well owned by a lovely lady called Oot and we’re pretty sure we were her only customers that week because she was over the moon to see us which was a nice change. Im glad to Oot could appreciate the truly great people that we really are unlike YALY. After an exhausting day of shopping we got all dolled up for the free beer night at our hostel- sound too good to be true? It was! The beer had a lovely watered down taste to it and we got stuck talking to number. 1 dryest girl in the world and then to top it off Anita stupidly invited her to dinner to continue to painfully dry conversation. Not the night we hoped for but we decided to get an early night for a fun next day.

We started off our day with a cheeky manicure (because travelling is just SO hard) and then booked onto a cookery course which was AMAZING!

It started off with a market tour where we bought our ingredients and then we headed to the river to do some crab fishing. After half an hour of “oh my god i think i’ve got one!!... oh wait i dropped it”, we left fishing with a grand total of two tiny crabs- I think we’ll stick to the day job for now.

During our class we cooked pho, spring rolls, vietnamese pancakes and a noodle dish and we made some of the best food we’d had so far... if we do say so ourselves 😋. We vowed that we would remake the food when we got home so you can also hold us to this if you would like to try some of our delish food.

We finished off the day by meeting the medic boys for a drink and boasting about our cooking skills to them all evening.

The next day we took a trip to the “Marble Mountains” which are a collection of 5 marble and limestone hills in which there have been built several buddhist sanctuaries. We climbed up steps and through small crevices in caves and finally came to the most popular part of the tour- a giant room within the cave with a marble buddha carved from the walls of the cave.

At the end of the tour we were forced into a marble museum/ shop where we pretended to be interested in their disgusting and expensive marble souvenirs for an hour.

For the rest of the day we visited the ancient houses of Hoi An which covered all the temples and preserved ruins of the area. Although this was enjoyable it was H O T and our fave bit was going into an free traditional shown featuring our fave- air con. The show itself was slightly odd with it ending in a game of bingo and everyone signing old auld lang syne... not sure what was traditionally vietnamese about this... will have to google that one.

We thought it would be nice to go to the bridge to the old town for sunset to take some photos which was beautiful but ruined by the 9 gijillion tourists who also had the same idea. We finished the day with a night out a popular hostel called Sunflower. After having some drinks at the hostel we planned to leave to go to a club but with us and the boy trying to plan where to go we ended up instead sitting on the side of the road for 2 hours before deciding to call it a night and go home, but we had a great time on the side of the road nonetheless!

Feeling less than fresh we decided to head to the beach for a chill. The beach was peaceful, empty and unspoiled. The only problem was that there wasnt much shade and when we finally found some a security guard came over to tell us we were too close to his precious four seasons hotel and we had to move. After giving him evils we begrudgingly moved our towels about 20 feet away to make him happy.

After our few lazy days we decided to stop being beach bums and do some sightseeing again. We biked up to the ancient Hindu ruins called My Son. We enjoyed exploring the area and it was amazing to imagine what the temple would have looked like -although again it was H O T and eventually we headed back. Vietnam have a traditional dish called Banh Mi which is essentially a sandwich with meats , pate and veggies and it is DELISH. Since arriving here we have eaten our body weight in them but the most famous ones are found in Hoi An and therefore we were obliged to visit the most popular Banh Mi cafe. We got the bbq pork banh mi and it did not disappoint , with Apoorva having to go for seconds.

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fansalvatore · 7 years ago

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4th Feb 2018

I've never have any intention to hurt you. Ever since the day i've known that i've fallin in love with you. what i wanna do is just make you happy. Because for me, your happiness is above everything and i'll try my best to make it happen. Why? Because i knew you, and i know you deserve all the happiness the world could ever offer , yet till the time i've been fallin for you, i knew you'll never really feel happy. Thats why since then, i promise myself to do anything as long as i could, to make you feel happy. Yet, all my good intention, everything i've always wanted to built, was destroyed the moment you decided to : 1. Lie like 1000 times 2. Betrayed me 3. Cheating for over 10 months 4. Broke me up over and over without having intention to fix US z And also you told me that you never feel happy when you're with me. I don't know what hurts me the most 1. You never fight for us, for me, ever since the day 1 bcs all you do is just broke me up over n over again. 2. Knew you pretend to be happy these whole time 3. Pretend to love me eventho you are hurt and not happy 4. Slowly lose interest and careless with me What i know is, The moment you chose to left me To stop caring about me, i feel broken. I feel empty, alone, depressed, everything was just so dark and i feel like disappear from this world bcs i wish i could just be like you. I wish our good memories never hits me this hard till whenever i wanna do something, everything just reminds me of YOU. Of US! I cant go to every place without rememberingg you intertwined our hand, or you just simply put ur hand on my waist. I cant even watch movie without rememberin that i always accompany you to watch every single new movies you wanna watch. I can't take a bath without rememberin how much you took care of me, washing my hair, hug me in the shower. I can't even go to the place i like to ear without thinking you always feed me some good food . I can't even use my car for these whole month, bcs i can't bear with the moment in the car, singing together at car, hugging, kissing, just being crazy, talking with each other, get stuck in the middle of traffic jam, pee in the car, holding hand, or you just simply lay your head over my shoulder. I can't even sleep tight in the night bcs i used to have you by myself, being kiss goodnight and being told goodnight and i love you. i used to have you cuddle me in till i fell asleep, or just simply fighting over one small bolster and one captain . I love when you just give up your sleeping time just to cook for me , for us to eat. I miss your cook. Once you told me to look an instagram account and save the page where i want you to try to cook the dishes. That simple thing could lead to millions memories . That simple things arent little for me . I dont know how many sleepless night i lose, how many countless tears , and how much i regret that i hurt you and NOT ever ONCE could make you happy. I am such a wreck, a failure. I am sorry for everthing i've done and said. I'm such disappointment. And sorry for being such a baby and hard to handle. I am apologize. I fail you over n over again. I knew i don't deserve someone like you. I don't deserve to be your lover or your friend. Even everything that i do or said just annoyed you more n more ! And what i can do is just pissed you off, and make you hate me even more and sick seeing my face. I apologize for everything that make you feel hurt and sad. I just want you to know how much i care . Please eat your vitamin , drink a lot of water, eat healthy food and dont eat spicy food. I want you to know How much i love you, and how muchh i need you. And it hurts me like hell when i can't talk to you. It's been 3 weeks that we don't talk, we don't text, etc. I wish we could exchange of position for a while so you knew how much you hurt me too.. I love you so damn much till i never complained everytime you hurts me too.... No one like being lied , no one lime to be cheated , but still i accept you. But yeah it's over now, you hated me now. You moved on so fast. I hate to see your happy without me, and its just so fast. I hate to be lonely bcs i always enjoy my moment with you, just you and me. But you love your freedom more than me. :) Maybe i never meant for you. Maybe i never matter. But whatever happend, i told you im goin to love you for the rest of my life, you'll always be my always n forever. You're always be the Volks to my Wagen. #20072016-#11012018 You'll never be forgotten. Thanks for taking care of me this whole one year, thanks for all the wasted time you've been wasting to accompany a baby like me. And of course, if i could, i still want to marry you one day. I've known you since 2010 and 20 years later i want you to be the wife of my life. My life is not complete if its doesn't include you on it. I love you to the moon and stuck there my princess. You'll have my HEART since the beginning of 2011 and you'll always have my heart ever since. Thanks for give me a chance to be your girl when i asked you in July 2016, eventho you cheated on me, im still glad i love you. I cant believe my heart could love you this hard. Maybe its all bcs of wAiting for almost 5 years and finally can have a relationship with you. Thats why i always hold on, i always fight for this relationship bcs i take this relationship so serious and i want to make everyday count. I dont want to waste another year, i've been wasting 5 years to make you finally be mine, and then 1.5 years later i lose you. I dont expect we end that soon bcs i want forever with you not just 1.5 years. Sorry for always being such a bitch. I just love you so much V.

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briannafullerton-blog · 7 years ago

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