#im normal im normal im normal ripping the sink from the wall i am okay and i will go to therapy and i will be fine

[widevibratobitch]

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[trans-darkwing]

"I missed you"with della ?

hi, its been forever since i got these prompts and i had this one done for a long time but i was trying to answer them in the order i got them, but it seems like im not gonna get the others done, so sorry about that, but before the new season comes here’s della!!

—

“It’s just a talk with your brother,” she reasoned towards the bathroom wall, she still couldn’t look in the mirror. “Your brother who you’ve known since birth! Inseparable!” She exclaimed.

“Except you haven’t seen him in ten years,” she added, still chipper but voice straining.

“Donald,” she started in her most stern voice, “you and I need to have a talk.”

She winced, “No, no, no, no! Who am I!? Scrooge?” She demanded of herself.

“Donny, maybe we could just have a chit-chat!”

“NO!”

“Donald Fauntleroy Duck we need to talk.”

“Aah! No! He didn’t get sent to the principal’s office!”

“Donald, could you please talk to me in private?”

“Ugh! It sounds like a tragedy happened.”

“Donald. Talk. Me.”

A knock sounded on the other side of the door and she jumped, before turning to casually lean on the sink— even though they couldn’t actually see her. She answered, wrangling her voice into something calm and feeling like she���d just got caught with her hand in the cookie jar.

“Yeah? What’s up? Somebody’s in here and that someone is me!” She called as cheerfully as she could. Hoping they would just turn away and use one of the many other bathrooms in the mansion.

To her horror, Donald’s distinct voice called back to her, “I thought I heard you say my name. Did you need toilet paper or something?”

She stood stock-still for a moment, not making a sound. She could tell him she was fine, send him away from the door and keep avoiding these words for another day, a week, a month, a year. Maybe if she kept it up long enough she would never have to say it. Never have to poke at those ten-year-old wounds.She opened the door.

“— too cheap to even put an extra roll of toilet paper—” Donald was muttering angrily to himself as she peeked out.

He cut himself off when he saw her. “Are you okay?”

She straightened up, ignoring the question and trying to seem perfectly fine. As if everything was swell, as if she hadn’t been gone for ten years. 

“You wanna come in?” She invited, opening the door wider. Which was probably a little strange, but she and Donald had never really been normal.

The thing was, she found she could think most clearly in enclosed spaces. It used to be that flying in the open sky was the fastest way to clear her head. But now small closed-off areas felt safest, like she was at home base again. And this bathroom was on the third floor so it had a nice window, which she liked, just to look at the yard, remind herself she was home. The children were playing outside too and she preferred being able to watch over them.

He silently accepted her invitation, stepping past the threshold while she gestured him in. He glanced at the mirror with a towel draped over it, but didn’t comment. Instead, he went to sit on the edge of the tub.

“You wanna talk?” he tried.

She felt like face-palming. He did it so simply.

“Yeah,” she said quickly, shutting the door and sitting on the toilet lid to join him. “yeah, I was gonna talk with you,” she agreed, trying to psyche herself up.

He was quiet for a long while and she hated sitting like this, trying to think. She had been bouncing her leg but gave up on sitting down and began pacing back and forth.

“What if I ask what it is and you tell me yes or no?” Donald suggests.

Of course, he’s so good at this. The person who spent years struggling to be understood would have learned how to best communicate. And that’s not to mention having raised three boys on his own for ten years. She wanted to rip her hair out.

Instead, she buried her face in her hands and groaned, “no, Donald!”

“Okay,” he said slowly, sounding slightly put out, “do you want to write it down then?”

“No! I mean—! I’m just—!” she gasped out the words desperately trying to find a sentence that worked. She dropped her hands, fists clenched at her sides, “I’m sorry!” she yelled, close to tears now. He froze, his mouth parted in shock as he stared at her silently, “I’m sorry,” she repeated.

She’d thought about it for a long time, how the last conversation she had with her brother, was a screaming match. And he had been telling her not to go.

“You were right,” she went on, “you were so right. And— and I didn’t want our reunion to be like… how it was. It was a high-stress situation and I just— I know I can’t have a do-over. But I’m just sorry,” she said again for the third time. “I missed you,” she admitted finally. 

And she’d already said it to him, but this time was different. They weren’t on that stupid beach, for one. The place where her brother had crashed, with no one even knowing he was stranded there. She knew exactly what that felt like. This time, instead of everything else going on, it was just them. No pressure, no time limit, no threat to their lives. Here she was just telling him a fundamental truth, simply making sure he knew it.

“I missed you too,” he breathed, tears in his eyes now too.

He stood, holding his arms open, she didn’t hesitate to lean in and squeeze him tight.

After another quiet moment, he spoke, words quiet and his bill just beside her head. “I already forgave you. You made a mistake, Della. It was a long time ago and you already had too many consequences. You can forgive yourself now too.”

The tears were escaping as she tucked her chin over his shoulder and held onto him tighter, “okay,” she breathed out the word. It felt as though, up until this moment, she’d been holding her breath and now she could finally let go.Slowly they pulled away and she smiled at him gratefully. 

“We kinda did have a do-over, huh?” she asked, trying to lighten the mood as she wiped the tears from her face. They had repeated some things, others were new additions.

He returned her grin, “I’m gonna be honest, I barely remember that day.”

“What?” she asked, barking out a startled laugh.

“Well, if this is the one I remember it’s fine with me,” he shrugged.

“Yeah,” she said, amused and fairly concerned, “me too.”

“So, you wanna leave the bathroom now?” He suggested.

She paused, considering it, “actually, I kinda do have to go now I’m thinking about it, but you can leave.”

He faltered, “you were in here for so long… did— did that conversation make you have to…?” he wondered, bewildered.

“Yes, heartfelt conversations make me piss, now get out,” she said shoving him towards the door, as he laughed and elbowed her childishly in return.

Once he was out she started to close the door but paused to poke her head out, “Hey, Don?”

“Yeah,” he glanced back at her, almost having turned away.

“I love you,” she told him.

His eyebrows knit as a smile bloomed on his face, “I love you too, you big palooka,” he said, “now go pee!”

She laughed as she shut the door, sitting down on the toilet again, lid up this time. Only to glance over and realize there was absolutely no toilet paper on the roll.

“Really?” she grumbled to herself before glancing around for a spare, with nothing to show for it. “Scrooge, when I find you,” she started to mutter to herself furiously, “too cheap to even put a—” she cut herself off with a scream, “DONALD!”

[idk-maybe-i-did-it]

Scars: Year four, Chapter three

Remus Lupin x Reader

Warnings: Cursing, bruising, implied abuse, blood, (trashy writing.)

Remus’s P.o.V.

I opened my eyes to see a mixture of Y/n's hair and sunlight. Y/n looked up from her spot on me and squinted. " g'morning Remus." She punctuated the sentence with a wide, tired yawn. I yawned before sitting up and facing her. " g'morning beautiful." She looked at me with a lopsided smirk and I suddenly realized what I had said, turned my head away so she couldn't see my flushed face.

After my face returned to normal I rubbed the back of my neck and looked over at her. She nodded before stretching her arms above her head and yawning. Oh Merlin. The shirt I had leant her moved up a bit and exposed part of her stomach and the sleeve fell off her shoulder henceforth exposing her bra strap. I quietly exhaled and moved my head to the side looking away from my best friend.

After a minute or two of silence I looked up and saw Y/n holding her hand out to me, apparently she was getting dressed while I stared at the wall. Her h/c hair was now normal looking and she was no longer wearing my shirt. I took her outstretched hand and pulled myself up. Once I got up I stretched my arms out before giving her a soft morning smile. She put her hand on my shoulder and unexpectedly pulled me into a hug which I almost immediately returned.

" thank you." Were the words she said, and I immediately understood why.

" you're welcome." She held the embrace for a few more moments before dropping it and looking at my face. While bursting into giggles she walked over to my trunk and pulled a shirt out before looking at me and bursting into giggles even more. Through the fit of giggles she managed to throw me the shirt and say, " Pu- put your shir- shirt on Re- Remus."

My face flushed with embarrassment before I grabbed the shirt and pulled it over my head. After making her stand in the corner while I changed we made our way downstairs. Surprisingly she never questioned the scars on my chest but only gave me a knowing look. Once we reached floor level Y/n dragged me over to the kitchen for something to eat. We walked into James mum and our half made lunch.

" Hello dears. James told me you might take a while to get down here. It's almost lunch time so just take some toast or something to eat for a light breakfast and the boys are out back playing a game." We nodded, thanked her and I grabbed us something to eat. Y/n munched on her second piece of toast while we were attempting to find our way outside.

" So, Y/n, I never got around to asking you about your summer, did I? How was it, before you came here, I mean?" I looked over at her and she turned rigid before looking down to the ground. She took another piece of toast and continued walking down the hall in silence. Did I upset her? I didn't want the conversation to turn awkward or anything and I didn't want to push her into answering either so, " Y/n if you don't want to tell me, I mean, I'll understand so don't worry about it. I mean it was your summer so it's also your choice-"

Y/n shook her head and looked back up at me, (although she didn't really have to look up at me. Her head came up to my shoulder.)

" No, Remus don't worry I was just thinking about how to word my explanation. Honestly it wasn't very fun or exciting really, all I did was clean, cook, walk, help mother with ministry crap, renovate the house, go to a bunch of mothers 'office party's', buy groceries and tutor some kids. Boring really. What about you? How was your summer Remus? I hope your transformations didn't affect you too much." Wait what.

No, what was that.

I stopped walking and got slightly angered and worried. Mostly angered though. I looked over at Y/n and glared at her before roughly snatching her wrist and yanking her into a nearby room, locking the door and slamming her against it roughly. My right hand still clamped tightly around her wrist, my left arm against the door above her head. Her eyes went fearfully wide. My voice came out with a rough, harsh and low demeanor.

" How much do you know?" Im sure her wrist has a fresh bruise now. I stared intently at her and watched as all her mental walls came crumbling down. I had no clue where this burst of rage came from all I know is it's there and fueling my rampage. I bent my elbow and moved down closer to her face, our foreheads practically touching, and scowled at her.

" How much, do you know, y/n?" I watched in horror as a single tear rolled down from her eye. Her voice quivered,

"that you're a werewolf and your my friend who wouldn't hurt any of us. That you're kind and nice and happy and caring.

"I'm starting to think I was wrong though." My grip loosed on her greatly and I moved my arm. Another tear rolled down her cheek as she paused and took a great quivering breath. " Your acting just like my dad, and I'm sorry for that."

I stared in shock as Y/n abruptly turned and ran out of the room. I was acting just like her dad...? What was that supposed to mean? And she seemed to be okay with the fact that I was a werewolf.

Goddammit I just screwed up big time.

Swiftly I slipped out of the room and ran down the hallway and turned the corner quietly. I was about to give up looking for her when I heard a choked sob coming from the bathroom. " ohmygod. why would I say that, God, why would I say that. I shouldn't've said that, he overreacted and it's all my fault. Oh my god." Another choked sob escaped her lips and I decided against my better judgment and knocked at the door.

" Y/n, it's Remus. Can we, can we talk? I promise I won't get mad and overreact again." Silence is what answered me before I heard another choked sob. I turned the doorknob and gently pushed the door open. The sight in front of me was shocking, to put lightly. Y/n was on the floor, knees to her chest, head in her legs and hands wrapped around her head, sobbing while a blood-soaked rag was wrapped tightly around her right wrist.

The one I had gripped. I walked further into the bathroom and shut the door quietly before moving over and crouching down in front of her. " It's not your fault Y/n. It's mine for overreacting. It's shocking really once you learn that your best friend knows you're a monster that you could rip her neck apart." She chocked out another sob and I mentally punched myself for saying that.

" Y/n, It's also my fault for, well, overreacting and hurting you. I don't know why I got mad I just, did. I never intended on hurting you or making you feel pressured or anything like that and I'm really sorry. I know it was wrong and I hurt you and I scared you and probably made you hate me forever but, I regret ever doing it and you can ignore and hate me for the rest of our lives If you want to

" I want someone to hit me with Crucio to punish myself for making you feel uncomfortable and scared and pressured and everything. I'm sorry for making you feel like, like I was your dad and I apologize greatly for that. I don't know how your dad treats you exactly but, judging from the fact that I roughhoused you and you compared me to him, I know it wasn't a good thing."

" you don't wanna be hit by Crucio Remus." I took a moment to gulp and look at the quivering girl in front of me. Gently I placed my hand on her's which was bloodied in a rag before pulling her arms off her head softly and swapping from a crouch to a neal. I continued to neal in front of her and gently pull her face up as I talked.

" I'm sorry for everything I did, from the hallway to the room, and I hope you find it in your heart to forgive me Y/n. You could scream from the rooftops that I'm a werewolf and throw a bajillion curses at me for all I care, I just want to make sure you're okay." I cupped her face and gently pulled her to look at me.

" are you?"

She choked back another sob before I pulled her to me and embraced her figure, leaning back on my foot. I rocked back and forth on my heel while whispering soothing words into her ear. She pulled away and looked at the floor after calming down. I went back to crouching and looked at her.

" I never meant to hurt you Y/n. I never wanted people to figure out about my lycanthropy because I was scared you would stop hanging around me and go out of my life. I didn't want to lose you. I care about you too much. So when you mentioned the transformations I panicked and overreacted. I truly am sorry Y/n. You can tell the boys if you want. I don't care anymore, I just need to make sure you're okay."

I placed my hand on her shoulder and she looked up at me. She nodded her head and smiled slightly. I gingerly took her wrist in my hand and started unwrapping the blood-soaked rag. Once I got it I wrapped I saw there was a large jagged gash running across her wrist. I asked her about this earlier. I must've re-opened it when I grabbed her wrist. I took the rag and stood up before running it under the sinks water, washing most of the blood off it.

Then, I took it back over to Y/n and started wiping the blood off her wrist. Shit.

The dried blood had covered up most of a fresh bruise. A very horrid bruise. That must've been the bruise that came along with my grip on her wrist. She already has enough bruises to begin with and I just gave her more to add to the collection. I'm horrible. Utterly horrible.

I went up to the cabinet and collected things to help the wound before cleaning and wrapping it. I was in the middle of sterilizing the cut when I asked her a question. " Y/n, about your dad... how does he treat you exactly?" There was a certain timidness to the question, almost as if I didn't want to hear the answer. Her breath hitched. " Let's just say he's, not the best person you would meet." She hesitated, greatly.

I looked up at her and she kept her head low and didn't meet my gaze. " Y/n, I was basically harassing you and you compared me to him. I don't think you should gloss over it."  She looked up at me and met my gaze. She hesitated before continuing,

"I said you were acting like my dad because, well, you were. And it scared me, I didn't want you to turn into him... I wouldn't be able to cope with it... I didn't want it to happen... and I know you're not like the werewolf that you're forced to turn into every month. "

She turned her head and her face was concealed by her curtain of hair. I was frozen in place. There wasn't an easy way to take this information, not in the slightest. Suddenly the door was pushed open and the boys came in. James's face was in shock and Sirius's was of anger, Peter looked rigid. " what exactly did we just overhear?"

——————————————

James's P.o.V.

Peter, Sirius and I were simply finishing up our mini quidditch practice and decided to go back in. I turned a corner and saw Remus talking through the bathroom door to someone. Then, he walked in and shut the door. I motioned for the boys to follow me. " What do you think he's doing James?" " No clue Sirius. Let's listen in." So we did just that.

And this is how we found ourselves standing in the bathroom doorway, our figures all expressed different moods.

" So, Remus hurt Y/n when he overreacted at the fact that you know he's a werewolf then, he came here to apologize and make things better. Let's go to my room. I need to get this figured out."

I looked around as Remus and Y/n stayed where they were at, horrorstruck. I went over and whacked Remus on the head a few times and he slowly started standing up, Sirius had to pull Y/n up off the floor before helping her stand.

The walk up to my bedroom was long and awkward and silent but once we reached it the two figures burst into speech at the same time.

Sirius looked over at them and held up his hands. " GUyS GUYS HEY SHUT IT!" I honestly don't think that it was the best option to yell at them. Remus already looked at the bursting point.

" guys, I'm- I'm a werewolf and I turn into a monster every month. I'm a stupid horrible beast and I entirely understand, if, if you don't want to be friends anymore okay? Because I-I don't want you to get hurt and I could hurt you because I'm a-' I cut off his rambling.

" You're being dramatic. You fold your socks, Remus. Forgive me if I'm not trembling at the sight of you." He stopped and looked at me, " So you're not-you're not afraid of me?"

Sirius jumped in, " You do fold your socks."

" Wait a minute- You don't... but... but, I mean... werewolves, they're not exactly... popular... and for all you know, I could be dangerous!" Y/n cut him off this time as she finished our sentences.

" Remus, Lupin, what part of 'you fold your socks' isn't getting through?" His face almost burst into happiness immediately.

He turned to us three and threw his arms around our necks. Sirius and I in one arm and Y/n in between all of us like the middle of a triangle. Once he let go he wiped a few tears away while Y/n tried to catch her breath again, " I love you guys. So, so much. What would I do without you?" Peter decided to stop side cropping and join the conversation, " You'd probably have to go to Y/n for bi-weekly therapy sessions or something mate. But lucky for you we're never gonna leave!"

Sirius and I shared a look before turning back to Remus and walking him up to the wall. " but if you hurt Y/n one more time you won't live to see the next day."

____________________________

I swear if any a y'all tell me this is 'OvErExAgErRaTiNg and GlOrIfYiNg' the point I'm blocking you because that is how someone with a troubled past would react and if you can't see that then I don't know you or who you are anymore

Drop a vote, drink some water, eat some food and remember You Are Loved!

^ - ^

[blueberryrock]

Hey here is chapter five. Enjoy!

(Blue's pov)

It has been one month after me and Yellow have got the news, the first week has been nothing but gems congratulating and telling me how "lucky" I am.

I don't feel very lucky.

"Hey blue" I jolt awake from the sound of some gem saying my name. I lift my head a little to look to my left. All I see tons of books, huh I fell asleep in the library.

The grogginess starts to wear off, I look down to a blue screen at I was working on.

I turn the screen on, the time read a quarter cycle till twenty-seven. I let out a groan.

The gem put their hand on my back, I jolt again. "Blue?" They ask.

"Oh, White, I'm going to be honest, I didn't notice you were here" I yawn.

"Ok let's get you to bed" White says. Before I can comprehend what happened, White pulls my chair out from the desk, I quickly stand up which was a bad idea, almost instantly a wave of exhaustion rolls over me.

"I still have to-" I cut myself off with a yawn "mmmm reports" I finish sleepily.

White only chuckles "no, you are pregnant and I am watching over you, Yellow would be mad if you stay up any later. Although all you were doing was sleeping.." White gently pushes me to the side and scoots in my chair.

I grab the screen that I was working on and I put it in a secret pocket in my dress. "I'm ready to go" I say in defeat "I hate how I have to sleep all the time"

"Sleeping is the best thing you have to do, I've seen what happens with food" she says with a hint of disgust.

"Yeah, it's even worse when it comes up" I sigh as we make our way out of the record vault.

White turns to look at me "It can come up" she says, her stone gray eyes go wide.

"Unfortunately yes" I sigh.

We continue down the hall, past the records vault and the medical wing. Out the big blue doors to another set of big blue doors.

"You know you should really have that panel moved" White grumbles as she gets back up from her knees.

I give her a small smile as the doors that lead into my sleeping chambers open, the warm, familiar, and a hint of lavender-scented air hits us.

I quickly walk to my vanity and I grab one of my hairbrushes. I sit down and I start brushing my hair, I look in the blue teardrop mirror. The doors close as white turns on the light to my room.

I can fully see my face, my skin color has turned back to its normal color so I did my hair, but my bags under my eyes are still dark.

I let out a big yawn and my eyes water, I wipe my eyes and I set my blue hairbrush on the vanity, I push my chair out and stand up. I don't even bother pushing it back in, I slowly walk to my dresser and I pull out a nightgown.

The nightgown isn't very long, it only stops just above my knees. I phase away my dress and bra, not caring that White Diamond is still in the room with me. I put the silky light blue gown on and I head to my bed.

I just flop onto the bed face first, I slowly sink down, White is on the bed and on her side just watching me.

"You ready for bed" she says.

I let out a muffled response.

"Blue, sit up" White orders.

I do as she says "I said yes, after years of pink's tantrums I thought you could understand someone talking into a pillow".

I pull the blankets out from underneath her. "And I don't need you babysitting me" I say as I lay down, I pull the blankets on top of me.

"Babysitting" White mutters under her breath, she shakes her head a little "Yellow told me to watch over you, and so I am, I know how protective she can be over you and in this state I can't blame her".

"Yeah but i-" I get cut off.

"In watching over you, and there is nothing you can do about it" White raises her voice.

"I'm not some little weak organic that needs to be constantly watched." I snap at her.

White shoots me an angry look "I-i'm sorry" I lower my head and quickly apologize.

White gets off the bed, she lets out a sigh "I'll send some topazes to guard your chambers, you should get some rest" White walks to the door and turns off the light, she opens the door and then leaves.

I pull the pillow she was leaning on and I shove it into my face, after a few seconds I sit up and hit myself with it.

I shouldn't have said that but just because I'm...pregnant...I shouldn't have to be watched over. I fling my pillow like a disk, it lands on the carpet.

I fall back onto my pillow, I maneuver on my side to face where Yellow would be. I wish Yellow was, unfortunately, a small rebellion has broken out on one of her old colonies so she is gone for a few rotations.

Yellow was never good at diplomacy, well nether was I, when you're a powerful race that conquers planets, there isn't really a need for it. But I happen to be the best out of the three of us.

Which is why I stayed up so late today, I was sorting through the mess Yellow had made. I let out another big yawn,  I turn onto my back then to my other side so I can face the wall and I pass out.

Dream World

"Blue" someone familiar yells

I quickly snap up from my position, the back of my head hits something hard.

"Ouch" I wince as I rub the spot with my hand, I look at what I hit my head on, it's my throne, I'm sitting in one of my old thrones.

I then look at my dress, it's my old dark blue one strap dress. I take a strand of my hair, it's as dark as the night sky.

The person that yelled my name smacks my hand with their own tiny hands, I turn to look at them.

"Pink!" I exclaim, I grab her and pull her into a hug.

"B-blue...can-n't breathe" she sputters out.

I immediately drop her, she falls on her but and onto my lap. "Sorry" I say "hey wait, we don't need air to breathe".

Pink smiles at me "well you were squeezing me so tight, anyways you promised to take me to your new colony".

"I did?" I ask.

Pink nods very quickly "yeah you said that once the lazulis are done with terraforming you'd take me there, well it's been a year and they're done" pink says excitedly.

I smile at her, then it dawns on me, was it today...I quickly put pink down on the ground and pull up a screen and I look at the date.

No....no no no... Today was the day that Pink got "shattered" or turned into Rose Quartz.

I stand up almost stepping on Pink, she starts running to the door, she hits the panel and calls for me "come on Blue" she says.

She runs out of the room."Pink" I say as I run to the door, once I get to the door a blood-chilling scream rips through the quiet room.

I frantically try to open the door, but I accidentally hit the panel to hard and it breaks. "Pink" I start sobbing.

I eventually I break down the door with my own hands, I pry open the door and I step outside.

The soft wind blows from the left, I see pink's palanquin in front of me. I start walking towards it sobbing "pink, no pink" I cry harder.

My foot hits something hard, I look down to find not only Pink's shards but White's shards and Yellow's shard.

I drop to my knees, I pick up their shards and I hug them tightly to my gem. "NO" I scream to no one. Tears are pouring from my eyes, but my aura isn't loose.

I hear faint footsteps in front of me, I look up, through my blurry vision I all I see is a pink and white figure. As the figure comes closer I try to stand up, and I'm still cradling the gem shards in my hands, I wipe the tears in my eyes to see a Rose Quartz. No...the Rose Quartz.

"Y-you" is all I say before she tackles me to the ground. The gem shards go flying, and they hit the ground and shatter into even more pieces.

I scream in terror.

She holds her long, pink, blood-covered blade above my gem, "don't worry, you'll join them" she thrusts her blade deep into my gem and through my back and pins me into the ground.

"Noooo" I scream as I quickly sit up. Tears roll down my cheeks, I move some of my still light hair to check my gem for anything, a few tears drop onto my skin and my gem.

I sigh as I see no cracks or any other sign of damage, tears are still rolling down my cheeks. I feel my stomach churn from the stress of my dream, I look up at the sound of my doors opening.

Two topazes run into my room. "Are you *sniff* okay my diamond?" she asks as tears roll down her own eyes.

"W-we heard *sniff* screa-aming" the second one says.

I look around my room to see blue light has consumed everything "i-im fine" I quickly wipe my eyes and pull my aura in "sorry about that, it was just a bad dream"

"Okay, but if you need anything we'll get it for you" the other topaz says, I nod as they exit the room and close the door.

I wipe my entire wet face with my arm, my stomach is still killing me, I fall back down onto my pillow. I clutch my belly with my hand while the other one wonders where Yellow would be.

Stars, I wish she was here, usually when I'd get a nightmare she would sing me to sleep while she'd hold me. Maybe I should try to talk to her, I could send her a message, but I want to see her face.

I sit back up and summon another blue screen, I squint from the brightness but I turn that all the way down, I glide my fingers across the screen trying to call her.

Once the screen starts buzzing, I wait for her to pick up. "Come on, come on, the rebels shouldn't be giving you so much trouble" I tap my finger on my uncovered thigh "well I shouldn't underestimate any rebellion, no matter the size"

I let it buzz for a few more seconds before I hang up "she going to pay for that" I grumble.

"Maybe I shou- no she is probably still mad, maybe I should talk to Steven. No, he's probably asleep or busy" I mumble to myself out loud.

I sigh, looks like I'm not getting to sleep any time soon. Well it's not like a night of no sleep poofed anyone, I exit out of what I was doing on the screen, I decide to contact the chef gems to bring me a green apple and a cup of water.

I switch the screen once more to all the work I didn't do, I read over reports that gems have sent and files about the rebellion. I have some messages from the leaders of the rebellion, but I'm going to read those later.

After a quarter of a cycle, my door chime startles me. I rapidly stand up and I quickly make my nightgown reach all the way down just below my knees. I dismiss my screen and I walk to the door.

I hit the panel as quickly as I can, the doors open with a SWISH as two topazes walk in with my green apple and a cup of water.

"Here I can take them" I say, I try to bend down a little to grab the green apple and the water "thank you" I say as the walk out of the room.

I close the door behind them with my foot, I take a big bite of my apple as I walk back to my bed. I put the large cup of water on the nightstand and I get back in my original position.

I pull up my screen again to get more work done, but the screen flashes Yellow and I nearly choke on my apple.

I pull up the message from Yellow diamond, my heart flutters as I see her face. I push the play button and turn up the sound.

"Blue, why aren't you in bed? I told White to put you to sleep by 18:00" Yellow sighs and pinches the bridge of her nose

I roll my eyes when she mentions the bedtime, I take another big bite of my apple.

"Unless you had a nightmare and woke up, if its that then I'm sorry, I'll be there in a few rotations. Just remember to relax, eat well, drink lots of water, and don't put on any extra stress it's not good for you or the gemlings" she smiles.

I am reminded of what's inside of me as I put my hand on my baby bump.

"Yellow diamond" a gem that is off-screen says out of breath. "What is it Obsidian" Yellow sounds annoyed

"The rebels are closing in, we need you out there" the Obsidian says. A huge BOOM rattles the building that Yellow is in.

Fear starts to seep into me, and anxiety starts to build at the bottom of my stomach.

Yellow turns her head to face the screen, she sighs "looks like I've got to go, if you and White could look over the files for me, that would be lovely. So good night my love" her hand reaches out to turn off the recording.

"Bye" I say to no one. I finish the rest of my apple and I toss it in the bin by my bed.

I let out a mixture of a yawn and a groan. I pull up the time to see that a cycle has passed since I last checked, I let out another groan. I run my fingers through my hair knotted hair.

Should I try to sleep? Maybe I should let my stomach settle? I should drink my water...I pull my hand free from my tangled hair, I turn to grab the glass of water but the cup slips through my fingers.

I'm able to hold the water in the air but glass shatters on the hard floor. "Ah fuck" I say. I use the water from the cup to pick up the glass, I dump the shards into the trash.

I move the blob of water around, I let my hand drop and I try to keep the water in the air. But it's making me tired, so I quickly try to stuff it in my entire mouth and swallow it.

I fall back onto my pillow, I pull the thick blankets on top of me, my stomach makes a low grumbling noise but it's not from hunger.

I groan and I turn my entire body again, to face where Yellow would sleep. I hope she's okay, it sounded like the rebels were bombing the building, we'll maybe they were just trying to break down the wall?

No. They'd never do that, they would try to blow up the building with her in it. What if they do blow up the building and poof her? Or worse....shatter her...

Hot tears form in my eyes at the thought of losing her, I can feel the apple creeping back up to my mouth. I try to keep it down but it's not working, I tear the blankets off of my and I sprint to the "bathroom".

I almost break the panel trying to hastily open the doors, once their open I bolt straight for the "toilet".

I almost trip on the rug that I put in there, I quickly lift the lid and not a moment too soon, I unload everything that was in my stomach.

After a few minutes of clearing almost everything inside me, I get up from my position and I wipe my mouth. I walk over to the light blue sink and I wash my hands and I scoop up some of the water and put it in my mouth, I swish it around then spit it back out.

I dry my hands and sit down on the plush navy blue rug, I wrap my arms around my knees and I start crying.

Why...why am I like this...even after finding Pink/Steven I'm still after and weak, that's all I do, that's all I'm good for. That's why I need someone to take care of me. Cause I can't take care of myself, I can barely even drink water let alone eat, im utterly useless.

I comb my hand through my hair again, but when my finger gets caught on a knot, I just rip it out from my scalp.

Something moves around inside me, I ignore the pain from my head and I unwrap my arms and I let my legs touch the carpet. I carefully lift my baby blue nightgown all the way up to my belly, I drag a finger across my baby bump.

I then drag my nail horizontally across,  the slower I go the harder I push my nail into me. I make sure not to break the skin but hard enough to leave a mark. I let out a small yawn.

I wipe my eyes and I pull my nightgown back down to my thighs, I carefully move to the " toilet" and I put my hand on it and I slowly push myself up.

I groan when I get to my feet, I slowly drag my feet across the rug, not even bothering to pick up my feet, I shiver when cold blue tile floor.

I move slowly towards the "sink", I place a hand on the sink and I lean on it for support. I let out a big yawn and shiver.

One of the gemlimgs starts moving. I let out a groan. "I get it, you three are tired, I'm tired too". I let out another big yawn "I-if it wasn't for you three, I wouldn't need to sleep, or eat, or drink. Hell, I wouldn't even do what I just did" I yell at my baby bump.

They answer that with a few more movements. I carefully make it past the sink and to the door, I slam my fist on the panel and the door opens.

I slowly wobble my way to the bed, I pull the blankets back and I lay on the cold plush mattress, I wrap the entire blanket around me to make a cocoon.

I clutch my baby bump with both arms, I let out an exhausted sigh as I finally get comfortable. It takes me a few minutes to fade into darkness and fall asleep, but I do it without annoying thoughts.

"G-good night yellow" I mutter to no one.

If anyone is curious, this is the longest chapter I've ever written, it Is a little over 3000 words! But see y'all next Saturday! Adios.

(I forgot the tags)

[thedistantstorm]

Phoenix Protocol 03

A Zavala x Female Guardian work.

Summary: When the Traveler’s Light was returned to the Guardians after the defeat of the Cabal, it did not manifest itself the same in everyone. Miyu, an Awoken Warlock, finds herself struggling with her abilities, her Light feeling different and not her own. With her Vanguard preoccupied with grief and all eyes turned to the Reef, she finds herself turning to an unlikely source in an attempt to rediscover her connection to the Light and define what it means for her as a Dawnblade.

Previously

A voice bellows her name, puncturing her concentration in such a way that it feels like coming up for air. “Miyu!”

She knows that voice, she realizes. It’s the Commander.

When the realization fully processes and she realizes she doesn't know how long he's been watching, her head rockets up, the rift and solar fire dissipate immediately. Her hands fall to her sides, covered thankfully by her sleeves. She can feel the tingling prickle of numbness that indicates she’s burned herself severely, despite the rift. She sighs and straightens from her throwing stance.

Zavala jumps down from the spectating balcony dressed in a cotton training tunic and lacking most of his armor, with the exception of his mark. It flaps quietly as he lands on the ground in the arena, knees easily accepting the impact of the fall. He runs toward her, concern evident in the brightness of his eyes and set of his jaw.

“What were you doing?” He stands before her now. “I heard a scream.”

“Oh,” The Warlock sighs. “Sorry, Commander. Something hurt more than I thought it would. I didn’t mean to-” She looks down at his sweat-soaked training gear in surprise. She had expected to be the only one here, today of all days. “-disturb you from your drills?”

The Vanguard Commander nods and she notices his slightly heavier breathing.  “It’s fine. You are unharmed?”

“I’m fine,” She agrees.

Ghost hangs nearby, his optic narrowing on her in concern. Zavala looks up at him in turn, and the small being hovers backward, clearly caught. “You are not,” The Vanguard says quietly, “Are you?” His scrutiny is unbearable.

She moves to tuck her arms behind her back, to mimic the pose he usually takes, when he looks over the City from his post in the Tower. If she can get them behind her back, he -

Zavala grabs her left forearm with his right hand. Miyu hisses. His brows raise, eyes narrowing as he turns her palm over and peels back the sleeve of her robe. He gasps. Blistered, bubbling skin, pink and red and black, weeping and angry meets the light of day.

“How did-”

She snatches her arm from his grasp, ignoring the watering of her eyes. “I’m very sorry for interrupting you,” She repeats quietly. “My Ghost will heal me. It’s fine.” She turns her back to him, looks to her partner, and takes several steps before breaking into a run. It’s clear she does not want Zavala to follow her.

The Commander does anyway, taking measured, calm steps, her Ghost at his side, looking fretful. “Miyu is having difficulty with her Light, I’m sure you’ve noticed,” The little Light explains. “After the war… it - we didn’t,” He doesn’t know how to explain it and finally sighs. “It’s different now.”

The duo finds the Warlock braced over one of the sinks in the empty locker room, robe discarded carelessly on the ground, using her right hand - the less burned one - to splash water on her face. Being so pale in complexion, the redness of her eyes and cheeks immediately drew attention to the chaotic swirling of white aura beneath her normally equally light skin.

“Miyu,” Both Titan and Ghost say, before looking at each other in curious surprise. Zavala blinks, but lets her Ghost take the floor.

Ghost speaks. “Miyu, let me heal you,” He calls gently. “That has to hurt.” She cradles the damaged arm against her chest, her undershirt already soaked with sweat and water turning pink with plasma and blood on contact. Her eyes dart to him, and he turns to the Commander. “Give us a moment,” The Ghost implores. “Please.”

Zavala nods and retreats back into the hallway.

Pale light casts a shadow of his hulking form against the stone floor when her Ghost shucks his shell and swathes her in the glow. The Commander hears the combined sigh of Ghost and Guardian, and a quiet metallic gargle when the Ghost speaks to her. “It’s okay,” He’s telling her. Zavala feels a touch rude for listening in, though there’s no way for him to tune them out in the echoing, empty halls. “He’s worried, not mad. Just… talk to him, okay? Maybe he can help.”

Ghost transmats her soiled training robe away for a softer one. Her skin stayed sensitive afterward, sometimes - the Light not healing it all, not really, and he was always mindful of her needs. She held her hand out for him to rest when she exits the locker room, and Ghost drops to her hand - accepting an affectionate nudge of her fingers against his cones - before disappearing in a shower of sparks.

“Your Ghost cares about you a great deal,” Zavala says, echoing previous words. He does not make eye contact, like she’s expecting. She’s not sure if she’s grateful or feels like she’s being treated like a caged animal. “He said you have been experiencing difficulties with your Light, since the War.”

She nods her agreement, looking sheepish. “Both of those things are true.”

This time, he does meet her pale gaze. “Have you talked to Ikora about it? Certainly she’d be willing to help you.”

Miyu looks away, and shrugs. “I’ll do that,” She says, but his eyes don’t leave her face, staying trained on it - reading it - despite the fact that she’s looking at the ground.

“You have, haven’t you,” He intones, gently. “You’ve talked to her about this.”

The sideways pull of her lips in a disapproving frown is a giveaway. “Maybe once or twice,” She admits. Certainly more than that, but she’s not in the business of putting down her Vanguard.

“Does she not listen?”

“She doesn’t understand,” Miyu finally says, a bit more abruptly than she’d planned to. “She doesn’t understand how my Light can be so different from what it was before. I don’t think I’m supposed to use it in the way the Dawnblades do. Not anymore.” A peek up at his face reveals pensive concern, not condemnation. It spurs her onward. “She believes pushing me into the worst situations possible will help me to reconnect. But-”

“That is a terrible idea,” Zavala says, mostly to himself. He looks up at her in surprise, as if he can’t believe he’s said it out loud, but then admits, “While the Light may very well react if you feel threatened, if it does not, the cost…” He trails off, looks back at her, contemplative. The conflicted look on her face tells him that she’s thought of that, as well.

Miyu leans back against the wall, crossing her arms. “How does a Titan - a Sentinel,” She specifies, asking, “Call upon their Ward of Dawn?”

His brows furrow. “Not that I mind,” He holds out both hands as if demonstrating that her question is not unwelcome, “But what does this have to do with our conversation?”

The Awoken Warlock steps past him, looks down the hall to the empty training arena. “I believe that my Light might be better served in a more defensive manner. That perhaps my rift might hold the key.”

Rubbing a hand against his chin, Zavala thinks it over. “Your research,” He recalls. “You are trying to unlock a different type of ability.”

She nods, a little twinge of a smile here and gone when she faces him again. He understood her immediately, and yet Ikora… she didn’t seem to understand despite Miyu’s attempts at being transparent. “I think I might be able to use my Light, specifically, maybe to not hurt myself, or at least let it last longer, if I try something different. Something with a focus on healing. Protecting.” She reaches up for her ashen black hair, combs her fingers through some of the tangles. “After all, isn’t that our purpose? To protect? If I want to reconnect to my Light, I think that might be the way to do it.”

He still gives her Vanguard the benefit of the doubt, saying, “Certainly Ikora would be interested in-”

Miyu shakes her head and Zavala stops short. “Maybe it will change, but…” She shrugs. “She wants me in the Reef. Up until today, I think she wanted me to help find Uldren.” Zavala doesn’t react to the name, though Miyu watches him carefully. “I don’t want anything to do with that.”

“What do you want?” Zavala asks her. Not judgmental. Neutral. Perhaps curious, just a little.

“I want to feel like me again. I want to prevent what happened - what the Cabal did,” Her fists clench. “I don’t ever want it to happen to us, ever again.” She sighs. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to unload on you. I know Ghost said you’d hear me out, but this - it isn’t your problem.”

“No,” He agrees. “But perhaps I can help. I’ll show you how my power manifests, and let you determine if the Ward of Dawn could assist you in your search for answers. However, we cannot do it now. My schedule is-”

The apology stumbles from her lips as she realizes how much of his valuable time she’s taken. He was trying to train, too. “Oh, I’m so sorry, I didn’t-”

“Stop apologizing, Miyu. It is not your fault I am the Vanguard Commander.” This time, his lips do almost make it to what would be considered a smile, and his tone is nearly teasing. “I lead the Titans in drills most mornings, before dawn, in the training facilities here. You’re welcome to come spectate, if it will help. The schedule should be posted.”

She bows, pressing her hands together. “Thank you,” She chimes. “I appreciate it.”

“I hope you find what you are looking for,” He replies, and his hand finds his way to her shoulder, a gentle squeeze. An affirmation that someone beyond her Ghost might actually care. It makes her flush. “I cannot imagine…”

“It’s difficult,” Miyu admits, voice quiet. “I don’t know if it was because I was in the middle of casting Dawnblade when the Traveler was captured and the Light was ripped from us,” The words are a whisper that she’s not shared with anyone besides Ghost, who was there. “But it feels like it’s all there, you know?” He doesn’t, she knows, but he doesn’t interrupt. She sees the uncomfortable shift in his stance, knows that from his perspective she’s describing something horrific he never hopes to experience. “I can feel the Light there, to be called upon. It just… won’t come out all the way.” She shrugs. “Anyway,” She transitions, not paying attention to the brilliant eyes that soften as they listen to her resolve, “There has to be a reason. I’ll figure it out and persevere. That’s what we do.”

-/

That evening, when she finishes up her late patrols and checks in, Kadi, the postmaster, has a message for her. The frame produces two books, old ones. Tucked within the cover of the first one is a small note, written on thick ivory paper with neat handwriting.

She doesn’t need to know his handwriting to know it’s from him, the two symbols denoting her name in its proper, original form tipping her off. Pre-Collapse Japanese, he’d said, when he learned her name. It brings a smile to her lips. He seemed like the kind of man who would know about languages, how to read and write them. She found herself curious as to what he’d write her, after their encounter earlier in the afternoon.

--

実優

Perhaps these texts would prove useful. I am not sure how the translation would be made between the Void and Solar energies as they are very different, but it might be worth a read.

I will be focusing on training my new Sentinels in two days’ time, at the place and time we discussed. Afterward, I anticipate being free long enough to answer your questions, should you have any.

-Zavala

--

Ghost looked down at the paper, then back up at her face and the pleasant surprise he sees there. “See,” He says, “What did I tell you, Yu-mi? He might be able to help. At the very least, he wants to.”

Miyu smiles. “Yes,” She agrees, cradling the books to her chest and letting Ghost rest atop them as they head home for the night. “You never steer me wrong.”

[timeoutforthee]

Like It or Not (Chapter 6)

Summary: Logan, Patton, Roman, and Virgil are all struggling in their recovery. Their doctors, Thomas Sanders and Emile Picani think they can help each other out.

Aka Group Therapy AU

Trigger Warnings:  mentions of calorie counting (no numbers), mentions of disordered eating patterns

Read on AO3!

Taglist: @itsausernamenotafobsong, @sea-blue-child, @iaminmultiplefandoms, @princeanxious, @uwillbeefoundtonight, @zaidiashipper, @arandompasserby, @levyredfox3, @echomist13, @falsett0, @error-i-dunno-what-went-wrong, @scrapbookofsketches, @podcastsandcoffee, @helloisthisusernametaken, @amuthefunperson, @yamihatarou, @heck-im-lost, @michealawithana

Why did human beings need to eat?

It was such a simple question, one that had such an obvious answer, so much so that people usually didn’t give it a second thought. Humans needed to eat, because food served as fuel. That was a fact.

Logan lived for facts. He found comfort in knowledge, in knowing certainties. He knew, logically, that if he kept denying his body food, that it would eventually stop running. That’s what science said.

But when Logan looked at food, he didn’t see fuel. He didn’t think of taste. Instead, they were covered in numbers, which all flowed together in a never ending math problem he couldn’t solve.

“What do you mean by that?” Dr. Sanders asked.

Logan groaned. He was so good at explaining science, but when it came to feelings, he was hopeless.

“I know calorie counts, and I know how many calories I can burn by doing certain exercises,” he responded, “And every day, I strive to keep the input and output at an even zero.”

“Why?”

Logan paused. He...hadn’t really thought about it.

“I...I just have to.”

“What do you think would happen if you didn’t?”

Truthfully, probably nothing. Probably he’d gain a few pounds and stop having issues with his physical health. Probably he wouldn’t need to come to therapy anymore. Probably he could go back to being normal. And all that sounded like what he wanted. Yet, when he thought about a world where he stopped counting, it made a sudden surge of panic rip through him.

“Not an option.”

To all the world, Logan is earth. He is grounded and stable, something unshakable. Nobody sees the fire within. He made sure of that.

It burns. The passion, the rage, it all boils deep under his skin. He tries to soothe it with cold, hard facts. He doesn’t want to scare people. But sometimes he even scares himself. He crushes his feelings because he thinks, if he doesn’t, they might just take over.

Is that what they’re doing right now?

Because, really, jam should not be filled with this many emotions.

There was nostalgia, sure. He can remember making his own peanut butter and jelly sandwiches after loudly announcing to his parents that they weren’t doing it <i>right</i>, it needed more <i>jelly</i>. He can remember setting the jar by his homework, rewarding himself with a spoonful after particularly challenging problems. All positive, innocent memories, if not a bit childish.

He had pulled the jar out of the cabinet unceremoniously. This was a simple task, which would add up to an overall more positive experience, and it was one he had completed as a child. Surely, <i>surely,</i> he could do it. It was normal, it was a normal snack, and he was a normal person who was going to eat it normally.

Right now.

Except half an hour had passed and his spoon was still empty.

Logan sighed angrily and rubbed his hands down his face.

The worst part was that he didn’t understand. He was the smart one, the one who knew all the facts, the one who knew all the answers. So why couldn’t his brain just <i>realize</i> this was what was best for him and <i>do it already?</i>

“Logan?”

He glanced toward the door.

“Oh. Hi, mom.”

“What are you doing?”

“I’m eating.”

She glanced at the table, specifically at the still closed jar and the clean spoon.

“O...kay?” she walked over to the jar, picking it up, “Mind if I take a bite?”

“Sure.” <i>See it’s so EASY-</i>

But before he could finish his thought, his mom flipped the jar over, looking at the Nutritional Facts. She wrinkled her nose in disgust before setting it down.

“Eugh. Never mind,” she said.

His mom left the room, completely unaware of the damage she had done. Logan tried to fight the urge, he really did, but he couldn’t help it. He flipped the jar over himself. He knew the number on the back, knew the calorie counts of so many foods he was surprised his mind had room for anything else.

Groaning, he tore the label off. Fine. He still had time, he still had a week to do this. He could do this.

^

“Roman! Get out of the bathroom already!”

“Just a second,” he grumbles, scratching at his hands under the water. It’s practically boiling, and his hands are stinging, but every time he pulls them out, it’s like he can see the grease covering his hands.

“You’ve been in there for twenty minutes, come on!”

Roman glances up. Had it really been that long? He glances at the clock on the wall. Oh. Oops.

Reluctantly, he flips the water off and dries his hands. They’re red by now, and the skin is sensitive.

He had told his mom, with a little too much enthusiasm, that he would be joining them for dinner, and no, he didn’t need a seperate meal, he’d just have what they were having. Looking back, he really should have asked what it was first, or paid more attention. Because it was Friday, and Friday meant his brother Alex was coming for a visit from college, and Alex always wanted pizza. Extra large, greasy, cheesy pizza.

Roman opens the door and finds Alex standing there. He frowns.

“I thought you were taking a shower? The water was running.”

“Yeah, I was washing my hands.”

“You were washing your hands...for twenty minutes…”

“Yes,” Roman says, indignantly, but he doesn’t have a defense.

“I mean, okay, weirdo,” Alex pushes past him and Roman heads to his room.

He takes a deep breath. Okay. So it was kinda a disaster. So he had to take a napkin and try to soak up the grease. So he had to cut the pizza into tiny pieces. So both of these things made him take twice as long to eat as the rest of his family. So he kept catching his parents giving each other <i>looks.</i>

He had done it. He did it, and it was over.

Suddenly it hit him. It wasn’t over. This was the first step. It would keep going. And it was just going to get worse.

His stomach lurched and he slapped a hand over his mouth. He leaned his forehead against the wall of the hallway. He tried taking a few deep breaths, like Dr. Picani had shown him.

“Roman?”

“H-Hey mom,” He said, turning his head, and taking his hand away.

His mom narrows her eyes, “Everything okay?”

He smiles, but its strained, “Yep! Peachy!”

She nods and walks past him, but stops and turns around.

“Oh! I almost forgot! How did you like dinner?”

“It was great.”

^

“I had dinner with my family,” Roman tells the rest of the group.

Dr. Picani frowns. Roman has been uncharacteristically quiet this session. He makes a small note to bring it up later, either in the next session or during their individual.

“That’s good, right?” Patton says, looking at Dr. Picani with uncertainty out of the corner of his eye. A new grey sweater is wrapped around his shoulders, offering a comforting weight. It wasn’t a onesie or a crown, but it was something.

Dr. Sanders had been right. It <i>was</i> hard for Patton to reward himself, partly because he didn’t think he deserved it because normal people could go shopping all the time, partly because Patton was, honestly, kind of the worst person when he was shopping.

He didn’t mean to be. But all the shame bubbled to the surface, and he had to constantly wrestle with it in his head to try and keep himself from breaking down in dressing rooms. Sometimes, he didn’t succeed and ended up on the floor, sniffling while his mom hovered outside.

That was also the worst. His mom didn’t deserve Patton’s anger, but she’s the one who ended up with most of it. This shopping trip had been no exception. So when she showed Patton the light grey sweater, and had him feel how soft it was, instead of trying it on he had wrapped it around his shoulders, and called it a day. It wasn’t a onesie or a crown, but it was sorta like a cape, and that was fun, so it counted, right?

“Absolutely,” Dr. Picani said, brightening, “Unless there’s something more you wanted to discuss regarding it…?”

Roman shook his head, silently.

Virgil looked from Roman over to the therapist, a hint of concern on his face. His hood was up, like always, but the bangs were a bright purple and hung in his face.

He had tried to do it himself,but he ended up frozen with all the supplies set out. He didn’t want to stain anything, so he had tried to cover everything, but then he had wasted so much aluminum foil, and what if he stained the towels, also his hands were shaking so he was destined to fuck up, and if he fucked up everyone would be able to tell oh <i>God-</i>

“Are you dying your hair?”

Virgil jumped. He hadn’t even noticed his aunt in the door.

“Uh, I was, but I won’t stain anything, I swear-”

Violet snorted. “Yeah, sure, good luck with that.” Virgil paled and she mentally smacked herself, “You know, I used to dye my own hair. I could help you. If you wanted.”

“Help…?”

“Sure. Did you get bleach?” Virgil nodded and gestured to its place on the sink.

Violet grabbed a pair of plastic gloves from under the sink and pulled out the brush.

“Alright. Let’s do this.”

Virgil still wasn’t sure what to make of his aunt, but he had to admit his hair looked a lot better than what it would have if he had done it himself.

“Alright, Roman,” Dr. Picani said, before turning to Logan, who was also silent this session, “What about you, Logan?”

Logan’s arms were crossed in front of him, and he was staring at the floor. He took a deep, shaky breath.

“I failed.”

“Thank you for sharing how you feel, Logan, however, I would challenge you to take a different approach in how you view it-”

“How I <i>view</i> it? I am <i>viewing</i> it very clearly,” Logan snaps his head up, “I had the simplest challenge, doing something I enjoy, and I couldn’t do it.”

“Did you try?”

“Of course I tried, do you know how many hours I spent staring at that stupid jar?”

“The fact that you even considered doing this shows that your dedication to recovery. Isn’t that a positive thing?”

Logan can hear the tiny child inside him whine <i>“No. It’s not enough. I wanna be better now!”</i> but he takes a deep breath, allowing him to silence it.

“I suppose.”

“But?” Dr. Picani prompts.

“But...it’s not good enough.”

“So you feel like what you’ve accomplished-and, though you may feel like it wasn’t much, you did accomplish something-wasn’t enough. Does that in turn make you feel like you’re not good enough?”

Logan blinked, caught off guard. Emile smiled.

“Those degrees on the wall aren’t just for show, Logan, I am in fact a very educated man.”

Logan pointedly looks at the desk behind Picani, where he’s set out figurines of Spongebob and Patrick.

“A very educated man who isn’t <i>boring.</i> But anyway, we’re getting off track. We were talking about your self worth.”

Logan groaned. He could have sworn they were just having debates about cartoons. What happened to that?

“I suppose my self worth could be better.”

“Care to elaborate on that?”

“I just feel like I, as a human being, have a very specific purpose, but I constantly fall short.”

“So is it possible you just have a different purpose?” Virgil asks.

“No,” Logan says, immediately. Virgil quirks an eyebrow.

“When Virgil made that suggestion, how did it make you feel, Logan?”

<i>Anger shame embarrassment panic-</i>

“It didn’t make me feel anything,” Now Roman is raising his eyebrows and Patton is looking at him in concern, “It doesn’t make me feel anything, because it isn’t true. I know my purpose, I know my place, and I fit neatly and effortlessly into that place. I just need to work a little harder.”

“Hm,” Dr. Picani says, “So, unfortunately, I think we’re running a little low on time to fully discuss this. Instead, I have a challenge for next session.”

Logan relaxes slightly until Dr. Picani speaks again.

“Guys, this world is full of infinite possibilities. Every choice you make could lead in a completely different direction. Heck, coming here has significantly changed the outcome of your future. I want you think of three ways-just three-that your life could turn out. Three different goals.”

“...you want us to write aus for ourselves,” Virgil deadpans.

“Yes!” Dr. Picani cries, pointing his pen at Virgil, “This will give you guys encouragement. It’ll show you that there are so many options for you without your eating disorder. It will also help you see what goals you want to accomplish.”

“But I <i>know</i> the single thing I want to do,” Logan says, “I don’t need to know the others.”

“Awww, come on, Logan,” Patton says, “It’ll be fun!” he gasps, “You could be a scientist or a librarian or a teacher-”

“Teachers don’t make any money-” Logan cuts himself off. Whoa. He sounded like his father there for a second.

“Well, in a future where money wasn’t an option, what would you do?” Dr. Picani says, “Obviously, that’s something we, as humans, need to address in the real world, but when you’re reflecting on what could be, you won’t be held to those limitations. And with that-” he shuts his notebook. “Dr. Sanders will be with you next week.”

^

It is four in the morning.

Logan is sneaking down to the kitchen. The smallest bit of light is hanging in the sky, even though the sun isn’t there yet. The world is quiet.

He only turns on one light, the one in the kitchen. He is trying to cause as little disturbance as possible.

He once told his dad that “midnight to four doesn’t count.” His dad had responded “what the hell does that mean?” He had shrugged, but what he really meant was that there was a kind of peace you could find in the early mornings, something you couldn’t quite grasp during the day time. He used to have a bad time of staying up at night, gazing at the stars and enjoying the invisible hours, but once he realized that wasn’t conducive to healthy sleep schedule, he stopped.

But now, here he was.

He pulled the Crofter’s jar out of the fridge. Half of it was gone, eaten by his parents. He popped the jar open.

He took a deep breath.

He tried to remember what Dr. Picani said. How even if he couldn’t do it, making the choice to try was important. Even if he failed-no, even if he couldn’t do this today, he was still making progress.

He grabbed a spoon and scooped some up. He hesitated for only a second before he finally took a bite.

The flavor filled his mouth. This was, easily, the most flavorful thing he had eaten in months. It was sweet, and had the perfect combination of fruit flavors.

He swallowed and realized there was a lump in his throat. Was he...He wiped his eyes and realized, yes, he was actually crying over eating a snack.

But, somehow, he was too proud of himself to care.

[sinistersaltqueen]

The Promise... Part 6!!!!!!

Title: The promise

Summary: Youre back home finally. It starts with your reaction to seeing dean for the first time since the kidnapping.

Author: sinistersaltqueen

Characters: Dean, Sam, Reader, Castiel

Word count: 1271

Warnings: Language, major smut, panic attack, just. everything.

Author’s notes: weve come to the end guys :( this is the last part sadly. For the finale, I kinda went all out. So word of warning, its pretty crazy lol. anywayssss. I will be doing a giveaway to celebrate the ending of this series. For my first fics ever, Im proud of how far its come. More info on the giveaway coming soon! stay tuned, and keep reading.

The Promise Masterpost here

You stop in your tracks. You bite your lip. You look him up and down, as if you are mentally undressing him, your glare is too much for him, you can tell he can’t wait any longer. You rush towards him and jump onto him. Your arms wrap around his neck, and your legs around his torso. You kiss him like you’ve never kissed before. Your mouths are like a fine tuned machine, interlocking perfectly within each other. Dean carries you back into his room without breaking the connection, then throws you onto the bed. He pulls his shirt over his head, kicks off his shoes. His abs are so perfect. Every detail carved out like a sculpture. Even the anti possession tattoo is like a work of art on his canvas. He climbs on top of you and starts kissing you again, his body moving over you. He leans back and rips off your dirty clothes, leaving an open body for him to run his hands all over. You take control and reverse positions. You are now on top, hovering over Dean. You run your hands over his chest and then unzip, and pull off his pants. You move back up and start kissing his neck. One hand pulls at his hair, the other wraps around his neck. The two of you together are explosive. Every move you make is matched with one that fits perfectly. Dean lets out a faint growling noise and you move down. He inhales sharply as you take him in your mouth. His back arches, his hands grasp at the sheets next to him. You snake your head until he can’t take it anymore. You move up to where you’re hovering over his lap, and you sink down onto him Deans hands move to your hips and the rhythm they follow is like a beat on a drum. He lifts you and puts you on your back, looking at you as the tempo increases The beat gets faster and faster, then it’s like the whole world is exploding. A fire inside both of you burns. The world stops. Everything relaxes. The two of you lie back, panting. You both stare and the ceiling and try to recover The feeling was intoxicating. The indescribably glorious thing that just happened was mind blowing. You look at each other for a moment and you giggle. “I missed you Dean Winchester” “I missed you Y/F/N” You grab his hand as you both look back up. - A few hours later, you and Dean emerge from the room, holding hands still, both smiling like kids. The two of you walk into Sams room where him and cas are watching a TV. “Did you fucking teach Cas to dance Y/N?” Sam asks accusatorially. “Yep. And he’s great at it!” You say smiling at cas, you turn your head to Dean and shake your head, mouthing the words “he’s really not” You all laugh, except Cas. Cas is just confused. You walk up to him and scratch his head, messing up his hair a bit. “It’s okay Cas. I still love you” He smiles. He’s kinda like a little puppy. A cute little angel puppy. “You know, we share a wall. Can you be a bit quieter next time Dean.” Sam says jokingly Deans face turns a bright shade of pink and you nuzzle your head into his neck giggling. “If you want, I can make the two of you even” you offer sam jokingly, then wink. Dean immediately wraps his arms around you and says “nope, she’s alllll mine” “Gross” sam remarks. “Wanna go grab a bit to eat?” Dean offers, “all that fun with Y/N sure helped me work up an appetite” “I’m down” you say “I could eat” sam agrees “I am an angel, I do not eat” Cas says emotionlessly. “You’re coming anyway” dean says quickly. “Okay then” He says, standing up The four of you go down to a local diner. The sign outside said best pie for miles. We’ll see about that. You, Sam, and Dean all get burgers, and scarf them down quickly. Normally you could never keep up with their eating, but after a week being held like a prisoner, being fed once a day, you would have eaten just about anything. The burgers weren’t the best, in comparison to something from your typical diners, they were about a 6/10, but after the shit you ate when you were with Crowley, it tasted better than anything you had ever eaten. When the waitress brought out the pie, you and Sam each took a slice, then Dean grabbed a fork and knife, and dig into the rest. That pie was so fucking good. The tender cinnamon apple filling inside was a symphony of flavors, warming up your tastebuds as they danced along your tongue . The hot flaky crust perfectly fell apart in your mouth. It was perfect. When you had all finished your food, the four of you hopped back in baby and headed back to the bunker. This is the first time Dean got to see the car you had stolen to get here on your own. “what the hell is that” he asks, upset as if he were disappointed in you” “Not everyone can have a 1967 chevy impala” you reply, “I improvised. And I kind of like it” He grimaced at the words like they physically hurt him. “You’re lucky I like you” he said, smirking. As you pulled into the bunkers garage, Cas played with your hair. “There is so much of it.” He says, amazed at how girls hair works. You laugh and say “yep, grew it all myself” You all unload out of baby, and go into the bunker. Heading back to Sammy’s room, where the TV is. You turn on a show, and just sit there for a while. The four of you laugh with the show, and you all are actually enjoying it for once. You stand up, you kiss Dean on the cheek and say, “I’m gonna go get changed.” He looks up at you and smiles, “hurry back cutie” You walk into your room, shut the door, lock it, and grab a pair of shorts, and one of Deans flannels, this was the comfiest pair of pajamas you had ever owned, even after washing it, the flannel still smelt like Dean, and the shorts were loose and comfy. The lights flash out. Everything goes dark. Being underground, there are no windows to light the rooms, and all of the doors locks are connected to the panel in the control room. You are stuck. Not again. Your mind flashes back to earlier events. You are stuck in the room with Crowley again, mind and heart racing. You can’t get out. The room is spinning around you. Your eyes dart across the emptiness of the pitch black room. You run to where the door was and start banging on it. You fall to the floor and start crying. It was all over. You’d be stuck here, no one was coming for you. Your mind was overcome with a sense of familiarity. The scene reminding you of the warehouse. You couldn’t escape the terror in your heart. You hear a loud noise against the door Dean kicks in the door, runs to you, and hits the floor, cradling you in his arms. “It’s okay Y/N. I’m here. It’s all going to be okay. The system malfunctioned, it’s all okay sweetie. Nothings going to hurt you. Im here now, and I’m never leaving your side again. I promise...”

[2sevenkristens]

The thoughts of a highly famous gal or chap - writing deeply of the raw longing for what we call a normal life- withdrawn from the spot light- not just a couple lines stitched together but a bleeding cry- a 69 flip of the slippery (unstable curiously). An Alcoholic mudhole<that kind> the writing of the stuck(or maybe not)- just show me the wiggling wonder of an unknown existence. What is it like to run on the only thing you know neatly? The Keen Kernaled Firecap. The flame in those lilacs descend as a stranger in my chair - In my pile of change on the floor in my Samaritan stainshed. At random we gallop- in our grape soda "Ballerina Sometimes". Our Lulu respirators. Yanked and slanted- All the Hank scorpions of a Razoring Reprinting- remalping spun chimes into our razzling neighbors boomstamps. The exchange of pudding and soupsounds-their recipe books- balking-in the house of our breakthrough we chant. Champion sonnets for our vigorous debate. We race in fort Brag (shut your damn cloudgrip) *oh grant me A Serenity* And We stick forks in the graves of the animal house- (Stack your monkey for the local farmers) Stack your monkey. Stamp your cunt with stickers of Disney characters- (don't tell me what to do) But treat me as I am. Bury yourself alive in Bettys Humble Cave. The sketch is vital. The sketch. Figure out your mean Mister . - Water this mold -shiver in your panicroom- for I love it there- invade the bug there. Slave to the snare. "I went through a Bad break up - and became a belly dancer for six weeks"- -Something Devin said on the R5 train- we were sitting on the side the sun met directly -me at the window-head against the glass. Casted and sailing and listening to Some Silly Crusher- her old adorable band in the garage- puffer lodge. Sparkled duck in the disco scrab. She wore a hat with animal ears- cute Caligula on exit mode. Songs about sex- acid rocked teenager playing fanboy line1. Ha! Fuzz. Here were two little girls in matching Japanese pancakes bopping at what we did -what we said - how we were pranksters- pins-pins- Alone. I smile when I think of our cared marshmallow horizon. Clicking our red shoes to the rhythm of the Louie Roses. More fuzz. -and some things make me laugh, Mrs Stiff and Squalid lashes. Got it? Its these small pickles of time condensed and skewed by our barnacle language. I dig MY OWN fingers into it- stroke the letters and BAKE them into my o- Into my own- Skulled cards. Read them Mrs. Muzzle. Flip your stupid grilled cheese sandwiches and look at the world's fat pink backhand- Put on this jacket of smacked lessons- so that your grasslands will grow and grow and graze over everything that is complete and sacked with carcass garbage. I got off the stuff. Needles in the trash. LISTEN UP. I did it okay and can laugh laugh laugh all I want to!☆ Take a plunge my Lady Locked. Look at me unchain myself. Look- see that it's real. Run into your own shiver. Shake the jukebox like your riding the best cock of your life. Like your riding the best. Hard knock. Knox Ride Woman. Crack those knuckles. -Women. Hopellessly devoted to the tightening up- to the unbuckling. Udon - seringe- violet snake. I am Needless- only for his rushing - rushing medical attention. Lumbered. Mastered. Mouth. Mumbled. Sedated. Sucked. Sore. Sorry. Im a Silly little brat. Still wining. Still looking at Your Hunt - Still looking at Your Ghost And the I heart huckabees cornucopia collie- Unstable in the bakery. Unstable in this bakery. Back with you at my high school job. My skirt is falling down as the phone ring rings - ringing past 3. Swung to all four of This Rooms Corners. My hands have dough dusted along the crev. Life lines filled up with the white. Oh Man. Youre pulling it down. Boss is gone. Doomed (in the corner i am) Spread like Marie's fine drapes- Then drug out by your invader. Caked. Situated in a drowning for your Pynchon diagram. The Last laugh- the last cry- so what ones going to be better? Both tennis balls being slacked by your racket- spanked by your partners. Shooting saliva -smock samples all over the floor. Beat by the sun- stomped by those gum souls. Chest breaking. We are Dead in the middle- Ha ha- you mangled- silly mango. Such a meaty texture. Suching. Seven sighs. ×Parking lots in the evening× "I am sorry to hear that you are unhappy with the work you are not doing" -again- I am laughing- Carter skips jokes in the air like rocks on the water. Slump. Yeah I complain about more than- [sink lower]- more things than just the W E A T H E R

Extreme in its soaked bag of a cloak-father. The Immediate dose- of hot thick suds in the veins. Spap me up. Soap your fingers up inside of me. We are drowning.  Defend yourself. Make yourself think u can control me- can you? Send me off with your spoons. Gonna hit up my friend now- Jump in the van Time for sad piano. And we all drive in this rain And all the emerald leaves  make out like French girls  (palms around the cone- tounge gliding the cream) She is cut out to be teaching Him too- and probably me- let's all spin ourselves so fast around on the playground together. Let's make ourselves sick and forget our big big uncharitable dreams. Because we lust so bad for living- so let me brush up against these things I want so badly- almost lose them- throw them in the backseat of the car- clean up- vacume the car- find the things- thumb tack them to my boards- my chest- drag the tacks down. Carve out. I will show you me doing that.  Again- can you? *watch*- can ya watch now- Sweaty doll- ripple me soft. Rip the rug from under me. I sware to God- M83 Godzilla- You will meet her absolutely. Haron Ontario Michigan Eerie Superior. Swung from the branches of all their rock hard-packed veins stemming to the ether- always racing out there away from our sunny land -magazine. Oh Ethan Tramadol - put us to sleep in the Lakes Lundragon. Snap our necks on the sandstone pie crust around it's ex- Next lover. Pierce our genitals. Pound our vox to the Yeasayer. Hit so hard it's black now but hey Hit so hard i am back now But hey Five seconds of the look on your face when I charge a fireballed- eye core. When I say goodbye and you fall out. When you go down my (Fuq- you know what you do) Some people listen - touch themselves over that five seconds - Five seconds stretched - looped and pulled- tugged- bulldogged delerious. It was those five long seconds of how she responded- how she didn't know yet- the way it made her grind against the wheel. Wilming around all hot and boilng - a bug in the pot. Unfixed under the hot wax of your cranked rhyme. Interupt this. Make yourself available- then dont- again back and forth we turn this glock. Licking limbs for a converged - silver death. Bubbling Moth. Mulp. SLing cuff. (It's discing) Straight through me shooting paper airplanes through the tinsel tolls- quiver in the stables. A Sorting spudged light driphouse- clipping in a couples pop. Jamming butterscotch oxygen - Smudgeing these suffering thighs on torched - testy freight trains. This skull(rather). Skum ray. The Scallion rape in stages game . Batter on the field sinner stays pillow tape- It's here- drooling. Pink bows on the stains. okay My Leading Knightfall- you jet velvet connotation-I know you see my PALLETS.  Look the other way- fill up your boots with gauges. Cage yourself. Bail your hurt for Melody to write about- masterbate then write about you're misbehavings on Rye. B side companions This Company car Like when Benny got off the stuff and betty got a job as a waitress - ( Bukowski knows it like I do)- scissors resting over our friends over ourselves. There is no Benny - bettys Mandy- Mandys your sister and everyone's your hiding place. We Write your faggy clasping fantasy all over your calves - i drain your statutory release so you don't murder 45 people even though you need to. I need to too. Take care of it in the slits of our creations- my creature. My slame. And Mom and dad were fighting again. Mom shoved dad into the book case - every single book fell off the shelf except for a book about - ((inhales)) ((Shakes head- shakes the weight off)) ((exhales)) ((nods head))- The one with all pictures- all those places that dad went. A book of slides. He showed us all of them on the wall. Every color cut it's life into the plaster.  Plugged into his traveling tremendous. I was barely aged. I was Unaware of this life but was injected with the purity of it and it's journey towards the same thing that sat between my ribs and my fingertips at 6 six years old- 5 years -4-3-2-1- - -  there. Slap me up into it Lover- take me to the wall- to the pixels- Mix it up with your cum on the bed sheet- Punish me in the night so I can cry for the places I miss and yearn for. You want the same. I don't give a shit what it looks like- tell me what you need to get there. How bad do you want to go there. Show me how you need me to be. Shove me- Bend me to your whistled fireplace. Time is shit here. Keep undressing me. Look deep into my pools. They've been raped - rung out by a uncontrollable spasm. That cool? It was The first book that made me realize I was broken. Dangling in the midst of a message threading itself back into my bones where it came from- birthed by the lips of my sick- lumpy fate. Dad met me here. The washroom of Our Home

[novapopstar]

Let me tell a story about true love and loss.

This is one of my favorite stories to tell. And at the same time, its one of the hardest. You don't really get second chances. But if you were able to take that second chance in something you horribly screwed up on, you would take it, wouldn't you? This is gonna sound exactly like those very cliche white boy romance movies that try to be kinda edgy, i know it does in the beginning. Ive lived long enough to know that. But she... She was everything to me. Ive lived so long feeling nothing. She brought a spark to my dead soulless empty life. She was the greatest thing that ever happened to me. Its the reason i took that second chance. She can never know i exist. It was the beginning of summer of 2015. The final day of high school. I finished the exam at least an hour and a half early. And as most 18 year olds do, i put my earbuds in at full blast and passed out at my desk without a care in the world. Im awoken by an earthquake. The worst earthquake imaginable. My name is being screeched by what i can only describe is a Pterodactyl. I pull my headphones out of my ears. "What, Kamyrn?" I am not a happy boy. "The bell rang like 15 minutes ago." Are you serious? "You...didnt wake me up sooner?" The pterodactyl shrugs. "Didnt seem like i needed to just yet." I shouldve punched him right through his ginger face. He had a pale complexion, although more color than mine, freckles on his nose and cheeks, bright green eyes and the most irish looking red hair youve ever seen. Hes actually Italian. Hes basically what you call a cinnamon roll in meme terms. "So theres a music venue happening tonig-" "Nope." I stand up quickly, fix my bangs, and throw my hood up. I tried to bee line for the door but the fucker is always faster. I do NOT do social gatherings. Hes lucky i even talked to him. "Cmon, Tyyyyy! I want you to meet my friends. Theyre playing tonight!" "You know i dont like social events. I cant handle them. Besides i have to get home an-" He grabs my arms and pleads with his eyes. "Just this once? Pleaaaase?" I sigh. I hated it when he did that. I loved him so much i could hardly say no to him most of the time. "Fine. When do we go?" "We can start heading over right now. Theyre setting up and we can watch them warm up!" "You actually seem more cheery than normal. Anything special happening tonight?" "The Goddess, Tyler!!" Of course. "The Goddess" was a girl named Diana. The love of his life. She was literally too perfect. Beautiful black flowing hair, the deepest of blue eyes, beautifully pale skin, the most perfect smile. The sight caused Kamryn to become speechless. Especially since her father was there at the venue. The venue was basically as normal as you can get i guess. Smelled of sweat and heartbreak. The colors were a mix of greys and more greys. It was a really spacious area with some dining tables and chairs. I believe there was a bar at one end of the room. And right in the back was a big stage where they kept all the equipment for the bands. Big speakers lined the sides of the stage including the top of walls for surround sound in the building. This....this was the place i met her. Kamyrn was being interrogated by Dianas father, Marcus. Kamyrn sweating profusely. I mean, i dont blame him. Marcus was ripped and that rugged look and deep voice of his was something to feel threatened about. If you can picture what a roman soldier looked like, ya got Marcus. Diana was giggling and watching Kamyrn squirm the whole time. My senses were broken when the lights dimmed down and the first show was about to start. And as if an Angel has glided across the stage, she appeared. She was the most stunning thing i had ever laid eyes one. Shoulder length chestnut hair, from afar youd think they were green but she actually had hazel eyes, she had the sweetest smile, and i cant forget the red streaks in her hair. Her voice was something of an angel. And i caught myself staring. Ive never been a believer in love at first sight, but, damn... There was no mistaking it. I had slowly began to fall for her that night. But of course, i always have something come up to ruin my moments of bliss. Heres the part where things get complicated as all hell. I finished that graduation exam an hour and a half early because, ive taken it at least 25 times by now. At least at that school. I passed with flying colors because i know all the answers a little too well. The reason is the dumbest reason you have ever heard of. Im an 182 year old, as of 2015, vampire with the body of an 18 year old. All my features resemble a scrawny emo kid. Right down to the black nails, the black eyeliner, and the black emo hair. My purple eyes are natural however. Right now im having what is called Cravings. Now listen, i do not love being a vampire. Ive been running from that life for years. So i cringe at the thought of feeding off a humans. But at this moment in time, i am in need NOW. Therefore i cannot just waltz over to the nearest bloodbank and "charm speak" my way into dinner. I had to do my best to leave the venue without causing suspicion. I keep my eyes closed as i turn to Kam, holding a hand to my head. "Kam, dude im really sorry. The whole social thing is really getting to me. I really have to head out. I do not feel well." "Im really glad you tried to make it though, Ty. Ill check in on you later okay?" I nod and make the horrible mistake of opening my eyes. Kamryn wasnt looking however. But someone else did. My eyes tend to change color depending on the need. Right now theyre clearly gold. Gold for hunger. I quickly make my way out into the alley way. I hate every second of this. The alley smells like rotting shit and cat piss. Its the least of my worries. But its all i can smell. I need that trace of blood. Now. This isnt fun for me. I hate having to walk up to an unsuspecting human and trick them into letting me feed. This woman didnt deserve it. But they dont know what theyre doing when the "charm speak" is involved. Im able to pin her to the wall at this point, shes moaning in pleasure very loudy as i sink my teeth into her neck. I want to vomit. But i swallow and keep it down. She slumps down the wall unconscious. I didnt bleed her out, i never drink enough for that to happen. I fix her body in a way that when she wakes up, she'll think she just passed out from intoxication. Poor girl.. "A vampire? Never wouldve thought." I spin around, blood sorta dripping from my chin. I had made sure i was alone. It was just Marcus. But i didnt know why Marcus would have known. "Clean yourself, boy." I dont even blink as i wipe my chin furiously. "W-why did you follow me?" "I know the actions of a vampire when they need to feed. You showed clear signs back at the venue. I also saw those eyes of yours." "Well, what do you want from me?" He smiled wide. "Youre obviously no threat if youve been living the human world for so long. You nearly looked like death feeding off that woman." I looked defeated. "I didnt have the time to make it to a bloodbank, sir." Needless to say, i was taken back to venue after it was all cleared out. Kamryn looked worried as hell when i got back. "Dude, are you okay? I thought you were going home?" I smiled weakly. "I just needed to take a walk. Marcus found me to tell me to come back so i could meet your friends." Kam flashed a big smile. "Well the only one thats still here is-" "Emma." The Angel had spoken. Kam decided that was good enough and had walked over to flirt with his goddess. "So, a vampire huh?" I blinked. "Im sorry..?" She pointed to the shoulder area of my jacket. The fact Kam never noticed still annoys me. She laughs. "Thats not really the reason. I just know." She smirked. "Ive seen a few in my day. None looked like you though. Why are you trying so hard to seem human?" I felt it was pointless at this point. "I despise vampires." "So you despise yourself?" "Precisely." "Does Kamryn know?" "He can never know." She nods in understanding. "So yeah, im Emma Grayson." She extends her arm and i shake it nervously. Her hands were always so soft. Not to mention calloused. But the best hands ive ever held. "Tyler Deravious." This Tyler didnt realize what he was getting himself into. How this meeting would change his life for the worst. You dont get a third chance. If i could turn back, i would. I cannot begin to tell you the regret i feel writing this all down. I ended up leaving my apartment that i had been illegally living in for years now and i moved into the mansion that i never knew existed in chicago. This mansion housed demon slayers. An immortal roman soldier demon slayer and his adopted daughter. I had chosen to slay demons as well. Including my kind. Things only get more complicated from here. ------------- So im thinking about writing a story out that ive had in my mind since 2015. Im not the best at writing but maybe i can get better along the way if i stick with it. I dont have a name for it yet, but heres the prototype Prologue for my most favorite story ive thought of. This story is an emotional rollercoaster. But it follows the life of Tyler Deravious, a Rogue Vampire who hates the thought of being a vampire. He becomes a demon slayer and learns what its like to have a family after so many years. Falls in love. Learns to be less awkward and more brave. He has to help defeat a great evil that threatens to destroy Chicago, and maybe the world if hes not careful. It might just turn out too much for him. Im really hoping i can do something with this. Its all original! So take my shitty prologue and give me some critiques.