#im never informtated that ive done something wrong or upset someone
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#got *another* final write up at work#bc i cursed in front of customers#and because i apparently talk to the new hires in an inappropriate way#which has been a concern for a long time that ive been a dick to others bc i cant read tone and shit#i literally want to kill myself#i just dont know what im supposed to do? because ive asked and akswed for help#and it gets swept under the rugm#i just want to die and im feel spiteful so i want them to know it partfully their fault#i have tried and worked so hard to channge and be an good employee#but i get no feed back until its criticle#im never informtated that ive done something wrong or upset someone#and its not like my ocd is tellin gme i fuck up every sing le time and have no iidea what im doing#its almost like i ask for help bc i fucking need it#i just wanna slit my wrists in the fucing bathroom so my boss has to clean it up#im so sick and tired of being the problematic autistic who is out of control#when i ask and ask and ask for help#i hope i fucking die bc im tired fo it#i hope i dont wake up tomorrow morning or i get killed my car on my wya to my brothersh stupif fucking dinner#i hope i die i just fucking hope it#im over being alive over beign autistic over not being able to get help#and im more over than anything accidentally upseting or hurting poeple bc i dont understand when i have tried so hard#the ammount of fucking energy i put into work is so much more than the average person that i have no life outside of it#fuck i just wanna die i just wann fucking die#i tried callin gmy therapist but he is booked for weeks#not that he does anything#he has fucked me over three times now#whats the fucking point#i just want to die i just want to kill myself#if i hadnt popped 4 lorazpams yesterday and slept through it id have accutally killed myself#i had the razor and evertyhing
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