#im maybe doing a video essay on this so I'll stop there

[neechees]

a semi popular trope in the horror genre is that a place is haunted bc it's built atop of an indian cemetery (ugh). do you personally think this premise could potentially be good if used by actual native creators? (not trying to start anything btw, genuinely curious abt ur opinion)

It would have to be a subversion of the trope, because this trope & its function in horror as it is relies on two things:

The demonization of Native peoples & our spirituality

The fear of Native people (ghosts) seeking revenge for colonization & the desecration of sacred Native spaces

The whole trope was essentially started (or jn the very least popularized) by the White person who wrote "The Amityville Horror" as a book, & then later the movie, but mostly the movie. In the book, the author claims that the Amityville house is haunted by angry Native ghosts because it was an area where Shinnecock Natives abandoned their mentally ill & disabled people to die, whereas the movie claims it was an "Indian (Shinnecock) Burial ground" where devil worshippers later resided, & the Native ghosts are mad about the house being there & their graves being disturbed.

Just a few problems here:

the author is full of shit, & that wasn't true at all. The Shinnecock did not treat their mentally ill or disabled people this way (let alone abandon or leave them there in that specific area) & they said as much since the book came out, and

As of yet, there is no archeological evidence of that specific area where the house is being a Native burial ground, & while there were Native people living around there, it was the Montauk people's territory & them who frequented the area, not the Shinnecock. They also did not abandon their mentally ill or disabled there.

So basically the Indian Burial Ground trope was created based on a lie to explain away why bad things happened at this house, when it's not actually haunted, & there was never actually any burial ground there. Essentially Native ghosts are to blame, not an asshole murderous White guy killing his family. It wasn't HIS fault, it was because of evil Indian ghosts & the bad energy influencing him!!!

This is the function of The Indian Burial ground, is to be used as a lazy shorthand to explain why supernatural things are happening or why an "evil" energy is there, & that's it. In the "evil" energy bit, a la Stephen King (think The Shining), there's only a shallow, surface level theme of saying "The genocide of Native people was bad & the ongoing disrespect of their sacred sites is also bad", because it's still using the Indian Burial ground trope, but again, it never gets any deeper than that & is only used to explain why supernatural things are happening. Movies that use this trope in the latter way never actually explore the ongoing effects of colonization, White ppl's complicitness and/or role in their own White privilege over Native sites & how they & their ancestors benefitted from the removal of Native people or desecration of our sites, they are never called out for them disturbing a sacred Native site, nothing. The White characters also do not try to amend what has happened or leave the area alone to appease the Native ghosts, & of course there's never any Native characters involved to try help, call out the White characters' bullshit, or lead the situation. Native characters are largely absent, but our ancestors' suffering is used as a plot device. But the Native ghosts are demonized all the same.

The demonization of the Native spirits is key. Somehow they're "evil" & to blame no matter what. The Native spirits are demonized for wanting justice for the desecration of their graves, but the White characters aren't bad for doing it. & even when again, it's a surface level observation that "this is bad", Native pain is used as a plot device but we're not actually present as characters to move the story. We're still supposed to feel for the White characters on some level, because why else would this be considered "scary" & why are the Native spirits "evil"?

The Indian Burial Ground trope is also generally based on a misunderstanding of how a lot of Native spirituality works & our relationship with our spirits, so in order for a Native creator to use this, it would either probably be a parody of the trope, or a takedown & subversion to show how wrong it is, because the whole thing was built on 1. A lie 2. Demonization of us & our spirits and 3.a misunderstanding of our spirituality

[spite-of-the-grifter]

Look.

Ace Attorney fandom.

I know why people don't like Turnabout Bigtop. I am among the people who dislike Turnabout Bigtop.

But I GET why people like the case. I'm not going to be one of those annoying people who just blindly dump on it because I hate those mfs too.

Thing about Bigtop isn't that it sucks. Thing isn't the weird grooming stuff (though that is a huge part of it). It's not that it could've been good.

It's that - in my personal OPINION - it could have been *great*.

I think it had the potential to be one of the best third cases in the trilogy. It had everything; a fun and goofy setting fit for a pretty dang goofy lawyer game - where the environment itself had jokes and quips and one-liners and mishaps and tomfoolery written all over it, it had the previous case introducing a very interesting and important plotline that gave background for one of the more well-loved characters while also introducing an equally fucked up and lovable new one who was a child forced into a shit childhood of naivete in a CIRCUS with another character who was very naive and childish - whose interactions could have been funny and cute and reflective of said shit from the previous case (seriously she becomes such an important character in the 4th case, WHY would they not include her in this one for some character development? How did they fuck up letting a CHILD explore a CIRCUS?? That would have made the interactions flow MUCH better).

They had a pretty good, sympathetic killer imo, a morally dubious victim, an asshole of a client (who was pretty flat admittedly in-game, but I like his weird, topsy-turvy reasoning for it in the anime. Also, I think Max being kinda a dick would have bode well for the themes of Farewell since most of his clients up to this point have been like...nice? Not nice, but sympathetic, but him having to defend someone who's innocent but a prick would have shown him that just because someone is an asshole, doesn't mean they deserve to suffer for it and that they have the potential to grow as people, which is almost a complete opposite of what Matt was. Ultimately, I would have loved the contrast of them as clients and I think it would have also served as character development for Phoenix, especially with his low-empathy tendencies).

They just didn't think that far ahead. They just didn't execute it well enough. They just decided to make three of the adult characters fight for the hand in marriage of a teenage girl. (Bat's part of the story was actually kinda good if he was just YOUNGER, I think him doing that for Regina would have been a stupid thing someone in the circus would do to impress their crush. Damn you Ace Attorney and your weird treatment of underage girls!!)

It just flopped and that's ok.

Even though it kinda sucked, it can still mean something to me.

Also I'm a Moe Curls apologist. I liked him, shut up.

[aether-friskets]

Why I Headcanon Waylon Park as a Trans Guy?

it came to me in a dream.

ok but jokes aside (well not entirely it DID actually originate because of a dream i had getting interrupted by a nonexistent video essay on the topic... dreams are weird man), i do want to try talking about my reasoning for this (although it's totally legit to hc a character as trans purely because you want to!! thats totally based also lol), because maybe it'd be interesting to hear the lens through which i saw this game? idk lol but i'm doing it anyway... below the cut in case it gets long

Ok immediate prefaces, A: i doubt this was actually the intended at all and i'm not trying to say it's canon, just saying why i read it that way :3 and B: this will probably be a rambling mess and I apologize, I'll try to make it somewhat make sense.

I guess I'll start with: a whole major thing of Outlast, is fighting to tear down this large corporation, that is like. the embodiment of shitty systems that exploit people (this post by bry mentions that general topic, although more focused on miles' angle). It's worth noting because, to me at least, fighting these sorts of systems really aligns with a lot of queer folks (and basically any group that gets fucked over by the system, which is most of them loll). There's like, this whole thing of Waylon seemingly fitting that image of the ideal typical man, with the wife and kids and a job, but he has to risk all of that to do what he feels is the right thing.

(Oh yeah, I guess quick tangent on that note. Yes I know in canon we literally see his dick lmao and also we know he has kids, which you might think would deter my hc here. but A: i already said ik it's probably not canon, i can still read into it regardless. B: intersex ppl exist. C: phalloplasty and other similar procedures exist. D: ppl can have kids in non-traditional way. so im prob not gonna cover that element of it more)

My brain hasn't been able to help but interpret his whole journey in a queer way, because i played it as a teenager still in the throes of understanding my identity and place in the world, so in the end this might not even make sense to anyone else. But, I'm trying to explain, so I'll continue to regardless.

I kind of saw it as Waylon hiding in the protection of an "ideal" life. On the surface he looks like he's in that American ideal family, but it's a subversion. He's only one of them because they think he is. Because he doesn't step out of line. Unlike Miles, who's more outspoken about issues, who seemingly has no one around him. He's treated as part of this "ideal" world, while working in the background to try and stop the exploitation and immoral acts going on.

When he's caught, when he's seen as something more complicated than first imagined, he's cast out. Lumped in with the same people being exploited by Murkoff already. He isn't "human" to them anymore. He's something else. Something they don't like.

Although the violence brought upon him is by the variants, it is still in part Murkoff's doing, since they fucked these people up via these experiments to a point of heightened violence and just generally ruining their lives more than they already had been by whatever they had done prior. That being said, they are still responsible for their own actions.

the stuff with Eddie is definitely the part that most resonated with me through this lens. I remember first playing it, and he scared me the most, for a lot of reasons. One of which being what he represented. He's The Groom. He wants someone to be his Bride, and you're it, even if you don't want that. As someone who's aroace AND already knew at that point that i wasn't a girl, this guy felt like a human embodiment of the pressures to fit what was expected of you. That one day, you'll be married and have kids. If you don't, then you're worthless.

But it's interesting especially, because Waylon IS married. He has kids already. He has that family. The difference is, in this hypothetical trans lens, he's not "really" in a traditional family. He's "pretending", as some might see it, because he's not "really one of them". Being Eddie's Bride is the situation that would've been expected of him, but he said "fuck that", and did his own thing.

Plus, like, with Eddie in particular, you will NEVER be what he wants. He will try to make his perfect bride, but you'll never be it. Even before Mount Massive, no one was what he wanted, judging by all the people he killed. He's a broken man desiring something but never liking his options.

Also just fucking. these lines from eddie make me lose my mind.

That part of you the world sees, they think it's perfect. As God intended. Even these idiots and lunatics see it. There's something special about you. On the surface. But when they look deeper, when anybody with eyes to see looks at what you truly are. That's why they don't trust you. You're not what you're meant to be. Not yet. This place can see into your mind. And the things you've done. Oh, they're a sin, darling.

like HELLO??

I know it's probably just Eddie rambling but it felt like he reached through the screen and grabbed me by the throat like.

Anyway in actual relation to my point. uh. Remember the thing I said about Waylon being a "fake" typical family? This kind of relates to that. Like, on the surface, he seems like he's got this perfect typical American family, he's "as God intended" (which. bro. i swear that exact phrase has been used against trans people so many times). But if you look closer, you'll realize there's more to it than that. Also like, going from the "as God intended" line to the thing about the things he's done being a sin, like hmmm. Maybe I'm reading into that too much, considering we know Eddie wants to make you into his Bride, so of course he's gonna think stuff like that. But still. It's a bit interesting to me.

Plus, it's interesting how, despite having a wife and kids, he's still more... feminized, I guess, than any other characters in this game. Both in the game itself, and within the fandom. Like, not just Eddie literally calling him a woman and trying to make him his bride, but also stuff like a variant near the beginning calling him a "pretty flower" before threatening him, Andrew (one of the staff) licking his face at the beginning of the game... A lot of violence and sexual-ish acts that are often directed at women in media. Even Frank, who I don't have as much to say about here, has some weirdly sexual undertones to his whole cannibalism thing.

This isn't entirely related but one part of the game that still sticks with me but I don't see mentioned as much, is near the beginning. Those guys stabbing the dead staff member. One of them remarks that "there are no observers here" and "do you think you're different? Something special?", which I think helps cement the whole idea that he's treated the same as the rest of people being exploited by Murkoff now. There's no turning back to that "ideal" life you were hiding in before. Hell, that's definitely reinforced more at the end of the game, when you choose to publish your footage, knowing Murkoff will come after you for it, and probably ruin your life. Maybe there's more interesting things to glean from that, but i thought they were interesting lines nonetheless.

anyway, overall I know this is probably just the ramblings of a trans/generally queer person reading WAY too much into a character that I happened to resonate with when i played the game, but i thought maybe it would be interesting for others to understand what would lead me to this conclusion? Anyway, that's all i've got on the subject right now, so I hope it was at least a little interesting.

[0utcsts0utlet]

Back with the more theories/things I’ve noticed

also wanted to add I forgot to note the colors of the matrix with the colors red and blue

The color can blue can also mean a lot as we saw from the no blueberries mv we saw a lot of blue with the music video for scaredy cat

Here are some of the meanings of the color blue

Credit to empower yourself with color psychology All colors also have a negative connotation Time and again in research, blue is the world's favourite colour. However, it can be perceived as cold, unemotional and unfriendly. Positive: Optimism, confidence, self-esteem, extraversion, emotional strength, friendliness, creativity. Negative: Irrationality, fear, emotional fragility, depression, anxiety and more according to color affects something I noticed while looking up the term scaredy car was

The lyrics also seem to help us understand this vibe

I’m calling from under my bed

Its hard to breathe when you’re not there

I find everything a nightmare

This goes back to the negative meaning of the color blue meaning irrationality and fear which also ties together the color orange we see for this mv and others

We see the color orange when we hear these lyrics

I think I’m scared of all the signs

Don’t ever leave me alone at night

then we see a quick flicker

this might be alluding towards what is called grayscale thinking which can be described as

Most of us engage in dichotomous thinking from time to time. In fact, some experts think this pattern may have its origins in human survival — our fight or flight response. These both are common with people with anxiety

The next lyric just leave the lights on and close the blinds might be hinting at self isolation of some sort which adds up when he said

There are clouds in disguise and I’m always terrified they might just rain on me

this also could mean negative people/energy vampires so him staying where he’s at going along about his day at the hotel could show he thinks he’s better off alone as these lyrics mention

I feel like I’m disappearing in a hole and nobody will know nobody will go except when I’m with you sitting in my room alone

these lyrics also reminded me of the song Sometimes I’m

The second verse of this song also reminds me of the opening of no blueberries with him questioning himself and the lyrics on the song anxious when he repeated im doing fine and in the lyrics of Sometimes I’m it mentioned

This also kind of reminds me of the lyrics from the song mood

This also kind of ties Miss Understood as well Dear diary Oh, I'm no buttercup My day goes down to up Sometimes I need to stop Your pills are not enough Maybe I'll throw it up Just so I'll sober up No, I don't want no answers My guns are just blasting My feelings on acid Make this heart go elastic, all right

This could be a metaphor for the gun we see in the mv’s based on the lyrics that can be found on the song Merry Go

Have I made it any further Told you I was being nervous You know I didn't mean to murder The moments had with you

Now I left you for the show Told myself I'm better off alone Never been the same since I let go Don't you know it sends me back around this Merry go

This could go back to him saying he’s going back to his old ways kind of like a pendulum does how it goes back around

This song also kind of mentions welcome to the show when it said know I left you for the show which could tie to dope lovers

I believe it was alone mentioned how this type of energy is addictive but perhaps in a sense it’s poisonous/toxic hence the I just need you

To be continued already an essay🤣

[scatterplotgrafting]

Introduction to me

(Don't worry the turtle is totally fine, just dramatic. I took the pic because of how pretty the plain plastron is. She was caught in a live trap, measured, then released as part of a population-measuring project.)

Things I wanna do eventually:

Finish book im dragging my feet on

Make comic for the ideas that I really think work better in a visual medium

Make a video game (was gonna do Unity but...maybe something else idk)

Make a few raps, and just learn more about music theory in general

Play the harmonica, hard maybe eventually the banjo but that's doubtful

Maybe learn to sing, that sounds fun.

Get good at dancing again (I used to be pretty good)

Write various essays on my perspective on things in the world, just to kinda get it out of my head and onto paper mostly.

Make some short stories

I'm kinda repeating a lot in my head so I'll stop here. I won't constrain myself to some posting schedule since I know myself well enough that I won't fkn follow it. But whenever I make something that I want to show off or get opinions about i'll post (spoiler: none of it will be good for a hot minute, but eventually probably it will be.)

Also for general musings and blogposts like this i'll attach a pic from various herping trips i've done around the county. I got lots so if you ever want a specific herp, just ask and i'll look and see if I have a pic anywhere.

[possessionisamyth]

gaming wins did a video on RE3R what a surprise people shat on it in the fucking comments so did he kinda they mentioned they were surprised to get as long a video as they did (he didn't mention the call backs to RE1 with the introduction of the hunters and running from a boulder (or even Nemmy catching the rocket which is something that can happen in the second Tyrant boss something i just remebered that he did), wish he mentioned the differences between easy - hard vs nightmare and inferno)

I do agree with the comments he made about Carlos and when is Carlos being brought back

I stopped watching videos like cinemasins when people decided to take everything they said as objective truths instead of the funny satire they intended thus ruining many peoples media literacy when it comes to critical analysis of the things we watch, read, and play. I know they made cinemawins in an attempt to circumvent this result, but by then I was already over the genre of white guy does rage quit video essay on things I enjoy. Moreso when a lot of those reviewers who were popular at the time were revealed to be very mask off about neglectful, racist, or sexist practices within their business.

But this is a long way to say, I don't watch those videos or those channels anymore to get those people's reactions. I especially don't read the comments. Ever. It's not good for the baby. (me, im the baby)

There are some things in RE3R that I felt were worth criticizing. The bugs putting maggots in Jill's stomach via the depositor in her throat and making her puke it out was 100% someone's kink. And it was unnecessary. Nemesis should've been a stalker enemy like the tyrant with boss fight encounters instead of having all his appearances timed. The two nightmare sequences were an attempt to show how the mansion incident is still affecting Jill, but they needed to be written better than they were.

I know the original RE3 had a lot of alternate scenarios you could get based on where you decided to go at what time. It was like those choose your own adventure books (which I always hated), but it helped people not all play the game the exact same way until they talked to others about it. There were attempts to do this with a few timed events in the remake, but they just led to alternate "You Died" animations. Which to me just wastes my time and isn't worth the trouble.

I have a thing where the more frustrated I get with a game the less likely I am to finish it because I am a casual player. I'm there for a good time and a good story, and the longer I'm having a bad time, the higher my chances are of just watching a playthrough or reading through the wiki. I don't replay for achievements. If there's information I missed that I feel is worth going back to get because I had fun playing it, then I will pick up the game again. But that's it. Maybe that's another reason why I do not really fit in here. Everyone I've seen or talked to who've been playing for a while tries to get every costume, and every treasure, and every achievement, and beat every game mode, and I don't care about all that. ^^; If my friend says "hey did you see this note?" and I didn't, I can look up a video on it. BUT, if a friend says "hey, did you get this dialogue sequence?" and I had a good time with the game, I'll replay it to try and get that sequence for more information.

And maybe that's also where the RE3R falls short for the huge amount of completionists in this franchise. The variety in their encounters has become extremely streamlined in comparison, and it's easier to focus on the big or more obvious things they took away instead of some of the fun or unique changes they made. Like how Carlos' design is the glow-up of the century. Or how Jill's rail gun is now a strap metaphor (to me). Or how they gave Mikhail some actual dialogue to set up the image of a personality instead of him being dead weight until he sacrifices himself. Or how Tyrone gets more than a few lines and we get to see a glimpse of his and Carlos' dynamic instead of him just dying to Nikolai like in the OG. Also, I don't care what anyone says. Carlos punching hunters is a fun mechanic. The slow-down time effect in games is a fun mechanic in general for me (because I can't fucking aim and it saves my ass every time).

I think the second to last boss fight with Nemesis would've been more fun if you had to be precise with those shots while he was running on the tanks. If there was a consequence to missing like small spurts of acid spewing from those tanks you had to dodge, that could've changed it up from the previous boss fight where you do the same thing with the buildings. It would've been annoying, but hey. That's kind of the point of boss fight progression with the difficulty increase. It also would've been better than just adding zombie dodging like you already half-ass do with him in Dead By Daylight. Ah. I'm getting off topic. You get my point.

BUT YEAH! Very much bring back Carlos Oliveira, my husband, immediately at once.