#im making a callout post for a fucking emotion LMAO

[sunnidear]

rambling (deeply unserious tw)

ough there is just something so frustrating about how people write jealousy. there is something so frustrating about how an emotion derived from insecurity is played out as another person's fault. there's such just. a lack of anything interesting when people write it. if you're insecure about someone interacting with someone or someThing you claim to love then i'm going to assume you don't want to "love" at all but want to Own. and that in itself is an interesting concept conceptually ngl but that's not what i'm talking abt so who cares 🫶🏾

i see it all the time in fanfics and it's boring and lacks depth there all on its own– but at least it's. yk. a fanfic and no one really gives a fuck because it is never that serious. but then i see how people genuinely react to things like liking the same character or the same media and it's like. oh my god you fr live like this. you actually think love is an act of ownership. you actually are so boring you desperately need something Unique about yourself to cling to and so you decide to fucking gatekeep the act of loving something with everything you have. insaneeee

and!!! because i self ship i see this a lot (NOT calling out people who don't like sharing, if you clearly communicate your boundaries you're doing the right thing) and it's not even a matter of being okay with sharing things it's a matter of being Okay with the existence of someone and YOUR existence at the same time. how is it you cannot manage the idea of experiencing different perspectives?? how do you just fucking deprive yourself of that??? there's such a focus on "mine mine mine" that it just fucking implodes on itself and there's no...depth.

[lilyliveredlittlerichboy]

cw emotional/psychological abuse (im ok dw just. more reflecting)

ive been rereading my journal and got to the bit where im dissecting my exs callout post about me. looking back its kinda hilarious cus if you have the tiniest ounce of critical thinking skills, youll immediatley see that he contradicted himself several times in his own post and his ridiculous assertions just get better with age. heres some highlights

 calling himself a “kid” at 23 while slagging me off voraciously for stuff that i did at 22 and 23, 4+ years before this callout post and some of it before he even met me

 making a huge deal about a 19 & 23 (up to 23 & 27) age gap like its pedophilia lol

 accusing me of ableism in literally the same sentence as dunking on me for my autism symptoms, then doing it again several times more in the next paragraph, like blatant ableism in the same breath as accusing me of ableism, sure thing hon

 misrepresenting events where he deliberately provoked me, leaving out important information and saying I was “playing the victim” cus i told people that the two (2!!) incidents of alleged “abuse” were in direct response to some particularly nasty shit hed been throwing at me

 accusing me of making him homeless when i literally saved him from homelessness several times

 accusing me of manipulating him to be polyamorous when he was literally dating someone else when we got together lmao (as was I & we were all fully aware, just like in a regular consensual polyamorous situation) (iirc he also had a side fuck that his partner didnt know about so really doing great monogamy there, being manipulated into evil polyamory by evil me)

 accusing me of cheating when i told them i was dating someone, who they fully well knew i was getting close to and wanting to date, who they told me was okay if I wanted to date them. they forced me to break up with that person and apologise over months, agreeing at one point that it wasn’t actually cheating, but then conveniently it was cheating again whenever he needed something to hold against me

anyway ive still not fully recovered from being used up quite thoroughly and emotionally abused and gaslit and accused of the worst kinds of things because after years of torment I snapped a couple times. I still find it in my mind sometimes to miss him and wanna reach out and then I remember how it felt to be with him and then how it felt to *not* be with him and how it felt to be punished for not being with him, and then to be punished just for existing, i guess. being accused of punishing him when i was having emotional reactions or tried to distance myself cus being around him made me want to kermit. funny how thats his choice of words as well and how being with him changed me fundamentally and i am still very much working on undoing the damage, i suspect it will take a long while. meanwhile hes prancing around in la and probably has forgtten completely that i even exist. which is wild considering he put all responsibility for his happiness and wellbeing entirely on me for so fucking long. its my fault also because i let him, but i was young and stupid, (in his words) just a kid at 23.

he put all responsibility for his happiness and wellbeing entirely on me - and I let him; when you put it like that, it’s absolutely no wonder it blew up completely in our faces. And as the older one and the supposedly more experienced one, I guess it would have been on me to not let him put all that on me. I didn’t know much at the time though, pretty sure I didn’t even know what boundaries were (much less how to set, communicate and enforce them). But also I was interested in him and wanted to get closer and I think even then I knew that if I failed to give him whatever tf he wanted, he would just leave and probably call me toxic. Idk why it ever seemed like a good idea to get close to him. I just dont know anymore but I guess I did learn a lot from that relationship. Including not to let people like that get that fucking close to me again.

[grandschemed]

All salty questions please

1. how salty are you feeling right now?

i had my cup of coffee and it’s 9:15 and i don’t have any work to do at work at the moment so u know?? i actually feel pretty good i’m chill it’s all good but please continue reading under the cut for more salty unpopular opinions by yours truly :*

2. what are your unpopular opinion(s) of the fandom you’re rping in?

3. what rp trends are you so over and can’t wait for it to die?

4. have you ever made a call out post or wanted to?

i don’t think i have??  i’ve never really had an issue with somebody to the point that i felt as if i needed to make a callout post which thank god??? i’m grateful i’ve ( for the most part ) had really positive experiences so far 

as for callout culture itself ?? i have mixed feelings about it bc the majority of callout posts i’ve read seem kind of Harsh bc ur essentially damning this person from the roleplay community forever esp. bc i personally don’t think roleplaying is That Deep u know??  like theft is annoying and whatnot but idk if it’s something i’d call somebody out for personally - MAYBE I WOULDN’T MIND CALLOUT POSTS if anons didn’t go overboard telling said individual to die / kill themselves ??? 

HOWEVER i think there are instances in which callout posts are necessary esp. when calling out tumblr users for being a racist / pedophile / etc. THAT’S SUBJECTIVE AS HELL i know but pedophilia is GROSS AS FUCK and SO IS RACISM and god forbid i accidentally follow / write with any of those people because ew ew ew EW it’s good to know who to avoid in the community at the same time so ... Yeah i’ve got mixed feelings about callout posts

5. a ship everyone in the fandom you’re in loves, but you can’t stand?

since i’m a multimuse part of 1002 fandoms i’ll focus on haikyuu!! except i’m pretty sure i’m going to get my ass roasted alive but i really can’t stand i/waoi LMAO but that’s mostly out of bias and the fact that a lot of i/waoi shippers have ruined it for me by viciously hating on u/shijima as a character calling him a r/apist and saying that u/shioi is abusive when u/shijima has done literally nothing ever to abuse o/ikawa like what ?? if anything i/waoi is the abusive ship considering i/waizumi’s the one who physically hurts o/ikawa all the time LOL

shitty shippers aside idk i/waoi’s personally just not really my jam?  to be honest all the super popular hq!! ships aren’t rly my jam - i don’t even really have good explanation for why i dislike i/waoi as much as i do from an unbiased point of view but i prefer them as friends ?? in all honesty ??  JUST MY 2 CENTS THO 

6. have you ever sent something to one of those burn book blogs?

lol no i might be extra but i aint That Extra laughs in all seriousness i rly haven’t had any major problems w/ other roleplay blogs to the point that i was tempted to send something to a burn book blog

7. has someone made you unfollow/block them without a second thought because of a petty reason?

i’m trying to remember if there were any instances in which i did so for a petty reason but most of the time ??? i usually unfollow if somebody writes something Inherently Problematic / over-the-top purple prose / they don’t follow me back ... there was one time when i unfollowed somebody bc i asked them for their autoplay bc i rly liked the song and i just wanted to listen to it??? LMAO but they thought i was going to steal from them just bc we wrote the same muse and i was like Bro. I JUST LIKED UR AUTOPLAY what the hell i just wanted to listen to it 200 times in a row on youtube chill so i unfollowed them bc lmao how dare you assume i’d steal from somebody in the first place Get Over Yourself Susan

8. are you good at dealing with personal problems?

i’d say so?? again i usually don’t rly have roleplaying issues but problems aside from those i usually like to vent on twitter and i feel Much Better after that??  im a pretty chill person irl and shit doesn’t rly get to me so i can come off as kind of blunt / insensitive but i feel like i get over most stuff pretty quickly - there’s no reason to get Angry and make somebody suffer when somebody tries to fuck you over imo??  True Vengeance is aspiring to be happier / richer / more successful / fulfilled than that person will ever be - that’s my Fuck You to those people y’know?? 😂😂😂 life is so much better when i focus on me and figuring out what i can do to fulfill my emotional needs - i feel very lucky with what i have and all my friends and family who cherish + support me of course though !!

9. what’s your opinion on duplicates?

i may come off as a confident self-assured person but even i get shaken time to time y’know??  but for the most part i don’t rly mind duplicates??  in fact i like to try to befriend them to get over any anxiety i might have over duplicates and i think it’s a silly thing to be uncomfortable by duplicates personally bc again roleplaying rly ain’t that deep you guys - in fact you guys both like the same character so you guys chose to write the same character??  duplicates + i already have a connection in that sense!!  also duplicate muse threads are SUPER COOL to write in my opinion bc it lets your muse face themselves and they can rly see themselves for who they really are which i think is Always Cool because i love writing threads in which i get to explore emotional depth with my muses ?? PLUS DUPLICATES ARE COOL bc it’s kind of interesting to see how other people interpret the same character you write bc everybody has different opinions 

i know the anxiety might be there but i think the best advice my mom has ever given me is not to compare yourself to other people even if you think they’re better than you or something and i know that’s hard advice to follow for everybody but roleplaying is a hobby and it’s done for fun - there’s so many other things you can stress about in life so why let roleplaying be one of those things??  focus on yourself and focus on your muse and developing that muse with other people and people will want to come to you to write with them.  preferences will always be a thing - it’s only natural but focus on having fun with your muse as opposed to worrying about other people!!

10. any fandom(s) you don’t want to rp in or crossover to?

11. are you for or not for purple prosing?

12. has someone in the rp community ever made you upset/cry?

i don’t think..... so??  upset maybe but not to the point of crying??  i mean again i’ve never really had a truly terrible experience but i did have an ex-writing partner who used to constantly guilt trip me until i finally broke it off with them because it was starting to affect my real life relationships and whatnot and i didn’t want to bear that burden anymore as much as i wanted to be their friend but i couldn’t singlehandedly bear all of their problems for them anymore because it wasn’t healthy for me nor was it good for them so i cut them out of my life for both of our sakes - i’ve had great times with this person but ultimately, i’m glad i did what i did and i’m proud of myself for being able to focus on my own emotional needs

13. ever told someone not to follow/rp with a particular person because something that happened to you in the past?

i ... can’t remember laughs I DON’T THINK SO???  people have told me not to write w/ certain people before when i go into new communities blind but for the most part i don’t think i’ve really had an overly terrible experience to the point that i felt i had to tell other people not to roleplay with / follow them ... i’ve been very blessed with a good experience so far!!

14. ever knew someone that everyone loves but you can’t stand?

i would say ‘can’t stand’ is kind of harsh but i dislike them because of a petty reason???  it’s fine tho bc they stay in their lane and i stay in mine - it’s all good imo.  i for the most part have enough decency not to hate on other people’s ships but this person kept telling me about how much they dislike my ships to my face on a consistent basis which again PETTY and i know they weren’t in a good place at the time but shrugging emoji idk i just thought it was kind of rude ??

15. have you ever done something out of spite?

i do everything out of spite im jk but seriously if you tell me i can’t do smth i will only do said thing with 100% more effort out of sheer spite like THERE WAS SOMEBODY who told me i couldn’t ship a certain ship so i proceeded to flood my dash with 300% more ship content you’re welcome headass spite is a Great Motivator

me: i’m a chill person and im going to be the happiest person ever :)also me: u test me bitch and im coming for ur entire life

16. what would you say to the one who hurt you in the past?

i hope you are incandescently happier than you were before.  i hope you are in a better place and i hope you are still writing with people who appreciate you and can give you the attention you deserve.  i hope you are a better person today and i wish you nothing but the best in a life without me, but i do not miss you nor do i ever want you back in my life.  i cherish the good times we had together, but we are better off without each other regardless of what you might still think and i hope you don’t.  i hope you recognize what you did and i hope you are a wonderful person today.

17. what are your opinions when someone makes negative posts constantly on their rp blog?

if you make more negative posts than roleplay content i’m gonna unfollow you??  i understand you’re having a hard time with your life but honestly i followed you to write with you - it’s not that your well-being doesn’t matter to me but i write to have fun + destress and ultimately, roleplaying is about myself??  im not doing this for other people - im doing this for me.  i don’t mind occasional negative posts ( ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY’RE TAGGED !! ) but if you’re consistently complaining about how much you think you suck compared to everyone else or how you think nobody wants you around, then i’m going to unfollow you because i came to write with you because i thought you were COOL!!  i know people just want to vent ( LORD KNOWS I VENT A LOT even if it’s about little stuff ) but consider making a twitter / a personal tumblr in which you can do so instead of your roleplay blog which is for roleplaying ???  idk that’s just my opinion but i try to keep my roleplaying blog strictly related to the content - i don’t even want to flood my blog with too many ooc asks bc u guys didn’t follow me to read my constant ooc posts ( even if i feel like i write a lot LMAO ) - u guys followed to write w me !!!!

18. do you hold grudges for long?

i say no but at the same time i’ve been really bitter towards an ex-best friend for three years now.  NONE OF THESE GRUDGES ARE ROLEPLAY-RELATED but again my way of vengeance is to be way happier and more successful than her and never ever see her again because that’s the decision she made??  we used to be Super Close but then she got a boyfriend and her entire life revolved around her boyfriend and we never spent any more time together after that like ??? it’s clear who she chose over me so if she doesn’t want to make the effort to spend time with me then i see no effort to give her any thought.  also the fact that she, as a white individual, complained to my other best friend behind my back that i’m apparently too “sensitive” about popular media.  like really?  wow, must be nice to have all the representation you could possibly ever ask for, karen.  get the fuck out of here with that attitude /:  

also SUPER PERSONAL but i’m salty about my kind-of-ex because he basically acted like he was really invested in me when he was still hung up on somebody else and i let myself be emotionally vulnerable around him until he confessed to me that he just wanted to be friends because he was still into his ex and then proceeded to neglect our friendship because he’d spend all of his time with his ex ( who he predictably got back together with + who turned out to be a really shitty selfish manipulative person who he broke up with anyway ) which was Fine i was already used to that anyway with SEE: ABOVE FRIEND but then after he broke up with her he’s tried to come back into my life on various occasion because he’s never had as Great of a Friend as me and frankly i can’t forgive him or myself for making myself invest any sense of emotion into him it makes me so angry to think i was actually upset because i actually cared a lot about him and he made me feel like i wasn’t good enough and how fucking dare he make me feel like that ever?  i’m the Fucking Best and he deserves absolutely nothing from me he deserves perfect indifference and i hope he never ever feels fulfilled in his life i wish him a great and terrible lack of satisfaction for the rest of his miserable life xoxo i’m going to be SO MUCH HAPPIER THAN THAT ASSHOLE i’m years and years better off without him i hope he pines for my friendship for the rest of his life

19. wild card: ask the mun any type of salty asks.

20. if you’re feeling salty right now, this ask gives you a free reign to pour out your frustration.

i feel like question 18 let me do that so i’m good but also ??? fuck the gangsta. novel ??? for its HORRIBLE characterization of worick + nic’s relationship ???  the gangsta. novel treats their relationship as if nic is some dog/servant to worick which in itself is gross in concept because haha yay a poc character forcibly being subservient to a white character THAT’S COOL :)))))))) but also ??????? uh AUTHOR ARE WE READING THE SAME MANGA ?????

worick has never treated nic as a dog / servant even when they were children - worick even taught him how to read / write ??? worick and nic were e/o’s first and only friends for a long while ??? they’ve lived together for so many years - they canonly share shirts, they’re business partners, worick was genuinely hurt to see nic in so much pain.  not only does worick NOT see nic as a dog / servant HE LOVES NIC ???  HE LOVES HIM SO MUCH THEIR RELATIONSHIP MEANS SO MUCH TO ME they’ve been through so much together and worick since he was 14 has literally supported the both of them via Really Horrible Means that i won’t get into - i’ll leave it up to your imagination but he split the profit he made from what he did with nic ???  there’s no way worick would’ve done that shit if he viewed nic as somebody beneath him esp. when survival was so difficult for two 14-year-old boys with no funds or resources they’ve survived together through thick and thin and there’s a special relationship they have and i love worick and nic okay I LOVE THEM SO MUCH EVEN IF THEY MAKE SHITTY DECISIONS AND WHATNOT nobody will ever convince me otherwise 

also if you’ve made it to the end i commend you and thank you for reading my salty opinions / personal problems / issues :* i hope you all have a wonderful day :**

[ravenvsfox]

can u do kevineil and renison plslllsls ily

sure buddy sorry it took me a sec (I’ll do kevineil here and renison in a separate post :))

SEND ME A SHIP AND I’LL TELL YOU…

who is more likely to hurt the other?

dude this is a toss up because they’re both such BITCHES

like neil is a button presser and he pushes kevin to push himself and he doesn’t realize kev’s limits emotionally BUT kevin doesn’t get neil’s limits physically, and he def works him too hard?? they both canonically cycle through hurting and helping tbh

who is emotionally stronger?

I think Neil has the upper hand bc of his iron fucking will, while kevin’s still a little shaky on standing up for himself when it matters (neil! does not have this problem!). So I think they both have huge fractures in their emotional stability but Neil comes back swinging and Kevin breaks

who is physically stronger?

you best believe they fight about this once a week but it’s kevin 

he’s got killer strength in both arms and he’s been intensively training for that little bit longer, aware of what exy could make or break for that little bit longer so he’s jacked

neil is strong but small and lightweight mostly and kevin could beat him in an arm wrestle even if neil used both his arms :/

who is more likely to break a bone? 

this is maybe the funniest shit i’ve ever heard ‘who’s more likely to break a bone, the butcher’s son or kevin ‘i’ve never been skiing’ day’

who knows best what to say to upset the other? 

when they argue cities are wiped out pal like two men enter one man leaves it’s brutal but tbh it’s always gonna be neil? like it just is. kevin can spit whatever hateful ‘motivation’ he has shoved up his sleeves but neil knows just where kev lives and he’ll go for the kill shot every time

who is most likely to apologize first after an argument? 

it’s neil I think?? they’re both stubborn as fuck but I think neil gets so harsh that he scares himself, and he also knows how terrified kevin can be when he’s threatened so like. he’ll feel real bad real quick. In canon he was so pissed at kevin for being a coward, but the longer they’re together the more he realizes that kevin’s just surviving like neil has been his whole life, it just looks different. (after that he starts apologizing by climbing into kevin’s bed or sliding him a shot of vodka or grabbing his gear and kevin’s hand and going to the court)

who treats who’s wounds more often? 

like definitely kevin treats neil’s because neil is a gd disaster and kevin wants him FIXED and WHOLE forEVER but also consider Neil grabbing kevin’s bad hand and working the tension out of it?? Checking on him after games bc kevin goes too hard and kevin calls him a hypocrite and then they probably fuck

who is in constant need of comfort? 

in a truly shocking turn of events it’s both of them, and the overlap in their nightmares is something that binds them together. Remember kevin’s awkward little offer for help after riko?? and how touched neil was??? Like that’s how it goes a lot of times. They talk out their common ground and tear each others nightmares apart. They have a lot of convergent shit that only they can fully understand about each other, bc they were raised in the same horror show and they helped each other escape 

who gets more jealous? 

mmmmm I’m gonna say kevin bc neil is very pretty and very unaware of it, and neil is still the least observant man on earth

kevin just feels a lot all the time tbh and he’s so painfully reliant on neil that he doesn’t now how to deal with his place being threatened™️️

who’s most likely to walk out on the other? 

okay see: above where I said kevin’s reliant on neil like hi in what world would he walk out on his prized striker and also neil still has his kevin binder and he looks at it when he’s sad don’t tell me either of them could make it one full minute apart

who will propose? 

do either of them know what marriage is honestly neither of them would even consider it?? Until -- you guessed it -- kevin gets injured and neil’s like cool hi im here and the hospital is like nah u gotta be married and neil’s like married?? we must be this

who has the most difficult parents?

idk babes what do u think dead murdering abusers or David Wymack?? I’ll give you time to think

who initiates hand-holding when they’re out in public? 

kevin holds neil’s hand like it’s a leash i’m gonna be real with you

I feel like a lot of these answers are the same as andreil bc they’re.... all........ together

who comes up for the other all the time? 

idk who do you think is more obsessed with the other let’s ask neil’s binder full of kevin

who hogs the blankets? 

it’s kevin he hogs the spotlight and the ball and the blankets what can I say

who gets more sad? 

a BAD question with a VERY BAD answer sorry but they both do pal. buddy. dude. they had terrible childhood’s and a brutal time cutting themselves free and they’ll never be all the way better (but like they get really really close. together.)

who is better at cheering the other up? 

depends on ur definition of cheering up bc neither of them are particularly cheerful lads

if Neil’s in a rut kevin will just nudge him and suggest Exy and if that doesn’t work he’ll drag neil out drinking or driving (not both lmao) and neil kind of hates it but at least he’s not empty

(when neil asks kev to play exy it’s always yes)

who’s the one that playfully slaps the other all the time after they make silly jokes?

this....... doesn’t happen........... kevin & neil doen’t know what a joke is........ u know that ‘it went over your head’ ‘nothing goes over my head, i would catch it’ meme from gotg.. yeah... that was written about them

who is more streetwise?

uhhh definitely neil? like their origin story is literally that kevin was put on this hyper sheltered restricted path and Neil was plucked off of that same path and put on the run

Kevin was swaddled in fear and routine so he couldn’t move. Neil was set loose into a war zone, and he knows his way around that war zone now

who is more wise?

depends on what ur asking mate. History trivia kevin’s your guy. math problem, get Neil. Exy, they can fight to the death tbh

like they’re both pretty dense about a lot of obvious things but intensely intelligent in specific fields so pick your poison

who’s the shyest? 

I think kevin participates in a sort of forced shyness? like he has his public face and he has his obnoxious callout asst. coach mode, but his actual true, scared, caring core?? we almost never see it. Neil’s bitchiness is an echo of his actual frustration and passion and kevin’s is more definitely a front

who boasts about the other more? 

guys holy shit remember when neil wiped riko across the floor at that first talk show reunion situation?? Neil’s constantly like ‘HI kevin’s king of the castle and ur a dirty rascal, eat my ass’ like he might fight him in private but he thinks kevin created the world, like he physically can’t imagine Exy without Kevin in it

who sits on who’s lap? 

im laughing picture kevin trying to sit in neil’s lap the height difference would be. something

but also kevin likes to be protected so catch him lying down w his head in Neil’s neck and his feet dangling off the bed

(also neil sits in kevin’s lap and kevin looks up at him like he’s GOD)