#im mailing you a bomb!!1!1!1!!!1!
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In honor of me winning a Sebastian plush, I decided to draw him coming to my house
It's a very rough sketch but I feel like you can understand what's happening.
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101 ways to kill Barney Calhoun
I ended up making this list by going through multiple servers and people so here cuz I found it in my phone notes
Anyway the brilliant minds of the half-life fandom
1.) Waited pressure plate with tnt under it
2.) im going to leave mines under his mattress
3.) i’m setting a rake on his floor so he steps on it and whacks his face
4.) I'm giving him a bomb disguised as a cigar
5.) barney death 3: he ate what elvis presley ate….
6.) I would kill Barney Calhoun by slapping him so hard on the ass that it gives him cardiac arrest
7.) I drop him onto a pit of venomous snakes
8.) Im going to give Barney a beer but instead of beer it will be filled with deadly neurotoxin
9.) “now gordon, ive been keepin an eye out on this combine hideout for a while. they seem to walk in a certain pattern when crossing over to the entrance, which makes me think theyve buried mines all over the place. now, ive memorized the pattern, so im just gonna sneak on over, and you follow my lead, alright? dont worry, i know exactly where all the mines are.” and then he explodes
10.) that one episode of sponge bob where he eats the exploding pie and explodes
11.) set up tripwire then he falls into a tiger pit
12.) I type kill npc_barney into console
13.) slap the boobies off his chest so hard them fly around the world and hit the side of his head like water balloons
14.) i could marry him and slowly feed him mercury over a span for 3 years until he dies of mercury poisoning
15.) He tries to become a wwe wrestler but gets killed in a freak accident mid match
16.) I would kill him by making him a pizza but it’s covered in big chunks of lead but it’s hidden in the sauce and it’s a Chicago style pizza
17.) bring him to a highway and kiss him so hard he gets knocked onto the road and gets ran over
18.) Peeling him apart by the dna strand and eating it like spaghetti
19.) barney gets trampled by a stampede of horses
20.) giving him under the counter off brand viagra
21.) put him in a washing machine and turn it on
22.) shark attack
23.) pit of sharks
24.) barney gets criticized so badly he dies
25.) barney sits in an uncomfortable chair for too long
26.) He gets his arm caught in a bear trap w a beer used as a lure
27.) HE BECOMES THE CAT THAT TRAUMATIZED HIM. HE….YKNOW…..
28.) he gets stuck in a swimming pool like hes in the sims and dies from getting exhausted and drowning
29.) barney roasting marshmallows but his stick ignites into flames and he burns to death
30.) ATTACH SO MANY BALLOONS TO BARNEY HE FLOATS AWAY INTO THE SKY NEVER TO BE SEEN AGAIN
31.) barney gets rejected by gordon and he gets so sad his body shuts down
32.) I kiss him so tenderly on the lips that he melts into a puddle and dies
33.) i throw him in to a volcano so that he melt into a puddle and dies
34.) "I’ll turn him into a flea, a harmless, little flea, and then I’ll put that flea in a box, and then I’ll put that box inside of another box, and then I’ll mail that box to myself, and when it arrives…I’ll smash it with a hammer!"
35.) stick a bottle of beer into his throat, the whole bottle
36.) give Barney Calhoun a beer can full of poison
37.) hang a piano over the toilet and wait
38.) i think barney should have his spine ripped out through his mouth
39.) he goes to a bar and tries flirting with the bartender and the bartender takes out a shotgun and kills him on the spot
40.) punch him so hard in the penis that he shatters like a brittle glass
41.) bite him in half
42.) I'm grinding him in a giant shredder
43.) bro took a bath in hot mac 'n cheese
44.) i put him ina giant caldron full of water and i begin boiling him down to gelatin and broth
45.) barney accompanies the crew to the borealis and he steps over thin ice and gets dunked into the below zero water and freezes to death
46.) barney calhoun gets carried away by a tornado
47.) took barney on a vacation to Hawai’i and pushed him into a volcano
48.) He dies and he's never mentioned again and nobody cares
49.) died of tummy ache
50.) Stepped on by a strider
51.) shrinked until he disappeared completely
52.) blasted into the sun
53.) Stab him with 300 pencils made with real lead
54.) slip and falls and dies
55.) put him into a Minecraft furnace
56.) Barney ignores the wet floor sign and slips and cracks his head
57.) while swimming in the swimming pool he swims to fast and smashes his face against the pool's wall
58.) he gets a concussion and drowns
59.) i want to put him through a lunchmeat slicer
60.) He falls off a dumb huge cliff
61.) he lives his life to the fullest and at his deathbed at age 93, June 29th, 6:12 am he passes away
62.) he eats a burgie with too much grease and gets a heart attack
63.) testicular cancer
64.) He should get sucked into a fan while trying to fix it at Black Mesa and literally no one comes looking for him
65.) The Pita Bread Room
66.) slipped on a Banana peel
67.) ran over by a crap ton of shopping carts rolling down the hill
68.) barney overheats in a fursuit
69.) he has sex so bad that he dies
70.) Barney dies because i fucking kill him with a shovel 🖕
71.) barney eats the gas station sushi
72.) barney faints via twirling around and holding his hand in front of his forehead, and then slowly lying down with a flower in his hands to indicate death
73.) When they turn off the suppression fields he just blows up
74.) barney gets crushed by a giant boulder thats all i got son
75.) barney goes to the beach that makes you old
76.) His head spontaneously combusts and pops like corn
77.) erectile dysfunction
78.) we should also have him get carbon monoxide poisoning
79.) barney gets gaussian blurred into nothingness
80.) he eats 20 year old expired mcdonalds burger and contracts the worst case of food poisoning youve ever seen
81.) Have we done tying him to a train track like a damsel
82.) he dies in a glue trap
83.) barney develops lactose intolerance over the years of combine occupation and he drink milk and then dies from shitting hinself to death
84.) he should chocke on his favourite food
85.) barney gets lead poisoning from a 1990s garfield glass mug
86.) he chokes on plastic
87.) barney gets thrown throw a glass window from a 15 story building
88.) gordon gives barney a wedgie so bad that he splits in half and dies
89.) gordon and barney divorce and barney dies from heartbreak
90.) alyx and gordon have enough of barney’s snoring so they smother him in his sleep with a pillow
91.) he trips while walking with gordon and impales himself on gordons crowbar face
92.) if he were the size of an ant he'd be ok instead he blows up like a watermelon and his remains are fed to lamarr by a very delighted kleiner. he fucking hated barney
93.) dog roughhouses with barney and accidentally obliterates his spinal cord
94.) barney gets poisoned to death by his own chumtoad
95.) coats him in eggs and flour and fries him
96.) snatched by a hawk and eten alive
97.) barney gets to participate in a danganronpa killing game and gets executed
98.) barney opens the love-letter-for-you.txt.vbs file and it kills him
99.) elaborate rube goldberg machine to drop an anvil on barney
100.) barney dies in an Iron Maiden
101.) we should put barney under those old timey stone tablets meant to squish and torture people and make them talk
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(tw s*icide but as in I'm reminding ppl of reasons to keep living! Still, if the topic is triggering don't feel the need to read or respond) Idk if you live in the US but if you do I hope you're okay! Normally I wouldn't get political @ you but shit is scary rn and I wanna make sure as many people as I can are okay. I'm scared shitless myself but all we can do is keep going. I just wanted to remind you and everyone that all other reasons to live are failing us, there's always one last resort: pure, unadulterated SPITE. Like hell am I dying before Mitch McConnell or Trump if I can help it! Ableists and queerphobes want us dead? As if we're gonna give them the fucking satisfaction! Basically, if all else fails, if nothing else, remember this one song that has got me through my toughest times: https://youtu.be/186FmQ4QZeY
I hope this provides any help at all to you and any followers!
thats really sweet, i wish i would've seen this sooner, not going to lie ive been on my breaking point constantly for the past couple months and i completely broke last night and did some things i shouldnt have... now im just trying to go day by day. i really really appreciate you reachin out cuz im a texan so weve got it doubly bad T-T can someone please kill ted cruz already i hate that guy. but yeah im gonna try to stay alive and hopefully the 20 million ballets that didnt get counted because of fake bomb threats, and the mail in ballets that got thrown away get recounted but in the mean time i hope we can all be here for eachother. <3
for anyone on here, please dont forget you can call the trevor project with this number: ( 1-866-488-7386 ) at any time, and if you want to chat online you can quickly exit from the site by hitting esc 3 times. on the website you can also text if youre scared to call like how i usually am haha: here
#salad says!#i will get political as hell dont worry about that i mean you follow me on my main its like 80% politics haha#and then 10% fandom stuff and 10% furry stuff#tw suicide#us politics
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You're right about speaking up thing. I remember that time when that bangtan bomb or whatever that is dropped from the day of BTS's at white house and im the video they used a word which is actually used by jm's korean antis so kpjms got mad and others explained that things to international pjms and then we started tagging them and trending. I was in jkkrs space more than pjms back then but i still used to follow some pjms and when we got to know all pjms and jkkrs i know we were tagging them asking them to correct the subtitles and hrs later they changed the subtitles and since that day i know that if something is wrong you gotta speak up. There's this account on twitter @/NoabsNolife something they're either a k-pjm or they do translation and all, i have been following them for yrs now and from that account i actually got to know about them using anti word in subtitle. I remember many armys saying it's not a big deal and trying to shut us down but we didn't listen and made them change the subtitles.
We have done that multiple times, the recent one was how they made jm look insecure in that BTS game and we made them change the subtitles and they even apologized for using those.
About the RIAA idk if it's because of the trucks or not cause kpjms sent those trucks just 15-20 days before ig and this RIAA certification thing takes atleast a month(idk how true that is but i read it on twitter during jk's RIAA). But i as a pjm do not at all feel emabrrased for the truck thing. Atleast we're asking for clarification and not why our fav is dating xyz so I'm not at all embarassed no matter what others say.
Embarrassing companies and putting them on the spot has always seemed to me like the most logical thing to do idk 😭
We literally got abortion rights in my country by protesting and demanding for it.. I'd say historically everyone has had to ask for their rights.
I know this kpop thing is not even close to being as important as human rights, but my point is... Whole laws get approved because people complain and protest. It does make a difference.
Of course, yeah, nobody really knows if it was because of the trucks or not. I think most people (me included) are just connecting the two events because they happened in more or less around the same days; another song getting the certification (which meant that the company was asking for those only for one member), and the trucks. Because the truth is that we've also asked for other stuff and they didn't comply with that, so. Maybe it was because of the trucks, maybe not.
They definitely didn't do it before getting Jungkook's, and we know why. That in itself is problematic, even if it happened now; it should've happened earlier. As someone pointed out a while ago, Jimin gets his song on Spotify #1 and the versions get split. Another member is given MORE versions added together so he can get that #1.
It's not embarrassing, especially considering that there really aren't many ways for the fandom to get in touch with the company. Mailing doesn't work. Tagging didn't work. Trending hashtags didn't work. Stuff that has worked when it came to a different member's release, mind you. So what other choice was there?
I'm honestly so tired of having to constantly be in this "don't look a gift horse in the mouth" mindset when it comes to Jimin and the company because none of what they did for him should ever be considered a gift. If anything, he's gifted the company more than they've given him; they're just paying him for his job with the same money he's earning them. They should be giving him unbridled support and should be doing all the paperwork in proper time and work just like they're capable of doing for other people.
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KYS DIE DIE DIE IM YOUR NUMBER 1 HATER FUCK YOU DIE KYS I PLANTED A BOMB IN YOUR MAIL BOX FUCKING KILL YOURSELF YOU STUPID BITCH jk love you keep your head up queen don't let the crown slip 😘
wow just seeing this
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Away From Home
Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3
Captain America: The First Avenger
Pairing: 1940s! Bucky Barnes x Female! Reader
Summary: Reader and Bucky are half a world apart. How are they holding up without each other? ft. some love letters!
Word Count: 1644
Warnings: 18+, minors DNI, hint of smut, angst, talk about war, mention of suicide. Please read at your own risk!
Authors Note: Just want to thank my beautiful wife @buckybarnesdiaries for hyping me up with this series! Not everything may be accurate to the 1940s, war or Bucky’s story. My apologies! Enjoy loves <3
Main Masterlist | Bucky Barnes Masterlist
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It wasn’t easy being all alone without your other half, but you managed to fill up your day with fun and responsibilities to take your mind off it. The women at the office missed their husbands immensely, just like yourself, so it was good that you all took comfort in one another. It was good to talk with them about the shared feelings of fear and uncertainty that came with the men going off to war.
The office work that was ordinarily boring to you became very interesting as your bosses ordered you around. At home, you had organized your various pieces of literature more times than what was necessary. You couldn’t either count how many times you’ve gone “I missed a spot” on the kitchen counter when it was nothing there in reality.
When there was nothing at home to do, you called up your girlfriends, hoping they would be willing to go out on the town. The few times they were up for it, you forgot all about the hurt inside as you danced the night away with your best friends.
Bucky's parents could come and go as they pleased. Your house was their house; whenever they wanted to drop by, they could. On the weekends, they would invite you home to their residence for dinner and drinks. It was sweet of them to ask you. You already had a strong relationship with them that only increased with you spending more time with your parents-in-law.
The stories they would tell you about James growing up in Indiana with his siblings were stored in your memories to use late at night when you couldn’t sleep. Those thoughts would turn into dreams and scenarios of him and your child that you would hopefully get pregnant with soon.
On the few occasions his parents and your girlfriends had other plans, you sat mostly inside staring at one spot on the wall. The book by your side would only be read a few pages before it was placed to the side again so you could continue gawking at the flower patterns on the wall.
That’s how you were sat now. The television was on, but you weren’t paying attention to the boring movie you had watched countless times playing on the screen. You decided that you would write another letter to James. Writing letters to your husband and receiving letters from him was the thing that brought you joy and was the closest you could come to him for the time being. Picking up the pen and paper, the words flowed easily as you wrote.
~~~~~~~~~~
My Dearest,
I feel I must write you again altho there is not much news to tell you from the last time I wrote. Work is keeping me busy, while your parents’ comfort and the fun my girlfriends are bringing keeps me content. I dreamt last night my husband. I dreamt about a child. Our child. A child that will bring us love and joy in the future.
I miss you terribly, my love. I miss the warmth from your touch as we are tangled in the sheets together. I miss the softness of your voice as the words whispered in my ear are meant for me only. I miss your laugh filling up the house that feels so empty now without you. I miss you. There is nothing more that I desire in life but to have you with me constantly.
I wonder how you are getting along, my love. I shall be so relieved to get a letter from you. I can’t help feeling a bit anxious for you, my dear. Thinking about what you are going through in the gruesome war overseas. I pray to whatever higher power exists for you to survive and come home to me in my arms.
Well, my husband, my brave soldier, I don’t know what more to say now, so I will finish this letter with fondest love and kisses from your wife.
I love you the most. From yours truly,
xoxo
~~~~~~~~~~
You sealed up the envelope containing your love letter for your husband, your other half, your soul mate, and hoped that it would bring him a hint of delight in his usual dark, empty and deadly war days.
Somewhere in hostile Germany…
With barely enough sleep from the night before, Bucky rested his eyes for the few minutes they had before it was out on another day of fighting the opposition. The faint sound of bombs dropping was heard in the distance. His heart started pumping in both fear and excitement to be out there again.
As his eyes were closed, he sat and wondered what his wife was up to at the moment. You were most likely at work. What would you have for dinner later? Something good, he hoped. It would at least be ten times better than what he ate for breakfast, soggy bread with a slice of cheese on top.
His mouth watered at the thought of a homemade meal from you right now. You always made the tastiest and fulfilling dinners.
What were you doing after? Out with your girlfriends? Were his parents coming to visit? Either way, he hoped you had the most beautiful time being as carefree as you always were.
When the darkness came, and it was time for bed, what would you be doing? Had the day been exhausting that you dropped dead on the covers as soon your head hit the pillow, or would you stay up and think about him?
His mind started racing to you, touching yourself dead at night while you remembered the last time the two of you were intimate. The thought about you moaning his name so softly and innocently had him adjusting himself in the seat.
Not now, Buck. We have to leave soon. There’s no time for that now.
“BARNES! Post for you.”
Once he had the letter in hand, he immediately knew it was you from the little drawing you drew on the envelope. You always did some form of artwork on it that had his heart warm up.
A single tear ran down his cheek after finishing the heartwarming letter. He could never fully express to you and his parents how these letters had saved him when he needed it the most. When he had thought about ending it all after watching the inhumane things he had witnessed that no human should ever have to see, the pieces of love from you and his family were what kept him going.
There was still some time left before they had to go out to war again. So he took that chance at writing a reply to his wife.
~~~~~~~~~~
My Darling,
Thank you for the heartwarming letter. It found me well in the time when I needed it the most. I so long to be close to you. Trust my love that I do not forget you. I am doing everything in my power so that these few lines reach you.
I am happy to hear that you are keeping yourself busy with work, friends, and family. I’m jealous.
I miss you terribly, my love. If only we could be together soon. I’d give anything to be back in the comfort of your arms. To be tangled in the sheets together. To feel you wrapped so tightly around me in all the ways possible. To hear your laugh that fills my heart with warmth and butterflies. Soon my love, soon.
A child? I’ll give you as many children as you want when I return safely to you. We will buy a big house out in the countryside to raise our children and grow old if that’s what my wife desires.
The war? I don’t know what there is to say? I won’t sugarcoat it. The war is brutal and gruesome. It is something I don’t even wish upon my worst enemy to experience the things I’ve seen and gone through. Don’t be alarmed, my love, by the words you just read. As long as I have you in my mind, I can make it through the days and nights.
There is not much more for the time being to write to you. Just know that I am coming back to you after the terrible war is over.
I love you the most. From your brave soldier,
xoxo
~~~~~~~~~~
He sealed it up in an envelope, and he once again hoped that this wouldn’t be the last letter he ever wrote to you.
A few weeks later…
You waited anxiously out on the steps of your home for the postman to arrive. Legs were bouncing up and down in anticipation if today was the day a new letter from James would arrive.
“Morning, ma’am,” the postman nodded at you. By now, he knew very well who you were as he would find you most days waiting for him to bring you the mail.
“I believe this is yours.” He handed you a single letter. A smile on his face once he saw the excitement on yours when you realize it was from your husband.
“Thank you, George.”
“Have a wonderful day, Y/N.” “You too.”
You opened it right there on the steps. There was no time to walk a few meters into the house to read it.
You took the time to read the lines on the paper written by your love. Sadness came over you as you read the part about war, but a smile was left on your lips nonetheless after you had read the whole thing a few times over.
You clutched it to your heart. To try and feel that extra bit of love that radiated off it. A few tears rolled down your cheeks.
Soon my love. Soon you will be back safe and sound in my arms again.
Credit @ firefly-graphics for the wonderful divider
Thank you for reading <3 Feedback through a comment is highly appreciated if you liked it! As well as a reblog to share it with others!
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Marvel Taglist: @whothehellisbuckybarnes @phoenixhalliwell @x-goddess-of-nature-x @trulysuccubus @skyesthebomb @whoreforsamwilson @natashadeservedbetter @beth-winchester21 @mrs-salvawhore @soldierstucky @missswritings @sariche @claudiaatje @myakai13 @paintballkid711 @ttalisa @teti-menchon0604 @J-e-nster @-im-fantastic- @donut-crazs @tatestripedsweater @feetoffthetablee @uraesthete @mae-black @midnightdragonzero @julia2000love @yvngzxx @midnightzonzz @kaystacks17 @missroro @living-that-best-life @alwaysclassyeagle
Bucky Barnes Taglist: @sirrwritesalots @acciosiriusblack @academiawhoree @feescher @cigarettesonmars @doyoumindifislytherin-1 @yippikaiyaymotherfucker @dontputyourfckingdrinkonmytable @hemsbucky @ripredwing @90smalfoys @rosiebrands @falcvns @jazzseb11 @my-patronus-is-a-raptor @milkshakelol @maddnastyyyyy @obxcalm @poetic-heart
Let me know if you want to be added/removed!
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#bucky barnes#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x female reader#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes smut#bucky barnes fluff#bucky barnes angst#bucky barnes imagine#bucky barnes one shot#marvel#marvel x reader#marvel x female reader#marvel x y/n#marvel x you#marvel fanfiction#marvel fandom#marvel female reader insert#marvel fic#marvel family#marvel smut#marvel fluff#marvel angst#marvel imagine#marvel one shot#sebastian stan#marveldiaries writes
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| 🍒 CH-CH-CHERRY BOMB! 🍒 | [CHAPTER 5]
pairing; dom!seungcheol x camgirl!reader
this chapter’s notes; camshow, use of toys(sybian), squirting, the long awaited chapter 5 😳💕 do they finally meet?!?!?!?! hehehehehehe also sorry for not being able to post this yesterday, had a busy week and when I tell ya I woke up at 3pm today 😗 💕💕💕💕 as always, thank you so much for your continued interest!! I'm already writing ch 6 and im SOOOO EXCITEDDDD hHEHEHEHEEHEH 💕💕💕💕💕 HAVE A GREAT REST OF YOUR WEEKENDS! 🍒
chapters; 1 - 2 - 3 - 4 - 5 - ?
“You guys! I--you have to see this!”
You can’t wipe the smile off of your face when you shimmy to the side, excitedly showing off the new gift that Seungcheol had sent in the mail.
sleepy_wonu: holy hell
universe_WZ: that mustve costed hella
alphagyu97: nothin like feelin extra poor amirite lads
angelhan: it was only a matter of time before dom.cheol was untouchable lol
You giggle slightly as you adjust the camera so that you and your new sybian are in frame. “Hey~ Don’t say that!! Y’know it’s not the amount of money you spend on me… I’m glad you guys are always here with me~” The sound of coins clinking goes off in the back as you read a few more comments.
dom.cheol: well princess, don’t u wanna show them how you use your new toy? ;)
tangerine_kwan: fuck i bet it can get u to cum so fuckin fast
hoshi_tiger_xx: yessss
dom.cheol has donated $100
hoshi_tiger_xx has donated $50
“Hmm~ How many times do you think I can cum with this? Oh! Why don’t we do this~” You pause, sliding your wet panties down your legs before tossing the material to the side. You grin, swinging a leg over the toy until you’re straddling it. “Rapid fire question! Whoever guesses the right amount of orgasms I can take before I call quits… Wins a special unreleased photoset of me! Go!”
dom.cheol: 5
universe_WZ: 4
sleepy_wonu: 6
angelhan: 3 artist8hao: 5
alphagyu97: everyone took all the good numbers already!!! 7!!!!!
gentleman_josh95: DMAN IT 3
tangerine_kwan: 8, fuck
kitty_junjun: ugh i was gonna say 4!!!!
xcaliburDK: i was gonna say 5!!!!
therealchan99: 2? thats so low tho….
chwenon: as if anyone is gonna say 1, lmao. Uh 6…. If sleepy_wonu happens to disappear
hoshi_tiger_xx: im gonna say 10, but… seems… risky
Reaching for the remote, you situate yourself until the raised part of the toy sits directly on your clit. A shiver runs up your spine at the feeling; already excited for what’s in store. “Um, to be fair I haven’t tried it myself yet so I’m not sure either... Hehe, but I guess we’ll find out together, huh?”
Gulping, you set the sybian to its lowest setting, the air getting knocked out of your lungs immediately as your body lurches forward. “H--holy shit!” The vibrations are already harsh on the lowest setting; your fingers gripping the remote tightly as you try to adjust to the feeling. “O--oh my g-god, I--”
dom.cheol: aww can ur cute lil clit take it?
xcaliburDK: maybe one of the lower numbers was right lol…
The moans spill freely from your lips, garbled noises getting lost in the mix when you start to grind against the vibration. “Fuck, it--it feels suh--so good, hah, already feel like ‘m gonna cum…” You whine, already getting lost in the pleasure. For a second, you’re tempted to raise the vibration intensity but you hold back, letting your wetness coat the toy as you continue to grind down onto it. The sound of donations and comments sound fuzzy to your ears; only the sound of the sybian buzzing reminding you that the camera was still even on.
“Ngh, g-god, I’m--I’m gonna cum!”
tangerine_kwan has donated $75
xcaliburDK has donated $50
dom.cheol has donated $200
dom.cheol: cmon, lets see that pretty pussy cum
Your legs shake as you cum, only a squeak coming out of your mouth as you lurch forward atop the toy. The grip you have on the remote loosens while simultaneously trying to turn it off in the midst of your orgasm.
dom.cheol: awww cumming so hard on the first setting? Cute
therealchan99: lol baby is in trouble now
angelhan: maybe 3 was right lmao
“I--a-ah, fu--fuck!” You cry, shaky fingers finally managing to shut the toy off. Your body immediately untenses; chest heaving with how sensitive you already were and it had only been your first orgasm and the lowest setting of the toy. “O-oh my g-god, I--I didn’t know i-it was that s-strong…” You mumble, body buzzing with the remnants of your orgasm.
sleepy_wonu: well mr dom.cheol did pay top dollar
gentleman_josh95: imagine if u had this for yesterdays show lol
“Oh god, if--if I had this for yesterday’s show, I would’ve been too boneless to do today’s show!” You laugh airily, slowly grinding against the toy already. “It feels really nice though… I’m already super curious about how strong the other settings are…” Trailing off, you reach for the remote again, throat dry as you fiddle with the knob.
kitty_junjun: what if u set it to the max setting
chwenon: idk if her cute lil body could take it
dom.cheol: its okay baby, take ur time. I wanna see how sensitive that pussy of yours can get
“But ‘m already so sensitive~ I dunno how much more I can take~” You tease, biting your lip when all the comments flooding the chat are words of encouragement.
You knew when you started camming that it’d be no easy job. Building up your fanbase and subscriber count had taken you months upon months to even get within the thousands and camming was physically exhausting. Some days your viewer counts were low and some days they were above average and sometimes you didn’t make as much in one show than another.
tangerine_kwan: was therealchan99 right with 2 then? Heh
therealchan99: finally FINALLY ITS MY TIME TO SHINE
Giggling, you slowly start turning the knob; body twitching when the vibrations kick in at full force.
Seungcheol watches in amazement at the way your body jerks atop the machine.
He can see the way your legs twitch unbearably when you cum for the third time; your brows furrowed at the intensity of the vibrations and your taut body when you can barely manage to turn the machine off.
Licking his lips, he slowly thrusts up into his closed palm, spreading the precum down his shaft as he watches you catch your breath.
“I--ngh, fuh--fuck, I---I don’t--don’t know if I--I can cum a-again…”
Seungcheol moans at your breathy whimpers; the arousal in his body pooling up quickly when he sees the fucked out expression in your eyes. His eyes flit to the wetness that coats the silicone portion of the toy, smirking when he realizes how much you really seemed to enjoy the gift he’d gotten you.
Mentally patting himself on the back, he praises himself for making the right decision.
angelhan: please tlel me im the winner im begging
universe_WZ: NO
dom.cheol: is the princess tired already? ;)
You catch your breath, not wanting to give up despite how fuzzy your head was getting and how much your body was buzzing. “I dunno… We still haven’t tried the last setting, you guys… And I’m just so curious...” You whisper, hazy eyes staring into the camera.
hoshi_tiger_xx: god u look so pretty like this, all fucked out
artis8hao: right? fuck, id kill to be that guy who can get u off like this
xcaliburDK: goddamn same
The sound of coins clinking mixes with the ringing in your ears; fingertips already on the knob of the remote.
You take a deep breath, letting the adrenaline kick in as you quickly set the knob to the highest setting, a high pitched cry spilling from your lips when you let go of the remote in favor of holding onto the machine instead. Grinding down onto it, you meet the toy's harsh vibrations as it quickly forces another orgasm out of you in the matter of seconds.
Choked cries spill from your lips as your entire body tenses up; body twitching uncontrollably as you cum for the fourth time. You lean back with whatever energy you have left, bracing yourself on the back of the toy as you relieve your swollen clit of the buzzing machine. Your orgasm refuses to stop and you can already tell how obscenely wet everything’s gotten when your head starts to clear.
alphagyu97: fuck you squirted all over the toy baby
universe_WZ: fuck fucki fuck
universe_WZ: wait did i winf kjfhdsjk
You shakily slide off of the machine, resting on your side as the machine still buzzes with life next to you. Your entire body won’t stop shaking, head muddled as you fight the urge to shut your eyes and sleep for the next 5 days. “I’m--I--” You whimper, still feeling the phantom vibrations between your legs.
“I--ho--holy fuck, I, w-wow, I--I don’t--that--I’m, I’m just… wow.”
dom.cheol has donated $400
dom.cheol: knew you’d like it ;)
universe_WZ: THAT MEANS I WON
universe_WZ has donated $150
angelhan has donated $150
therealchan99: well, at least some of us got close
hoshi_tiger_xx: fuckin speak for urself man i said /10/
You end the show after letting ‘universe_WZ’ know you’ll contact him soon, shutting your eyes as you lay on your soiled sheets.
You can still feel your fingertips twitching when your eyes slide shut, chest heaving in deep breaths as you try to relax yourself, momentarily cursing yourself for pushing your body too far for tonight’s show.
Groaning, you reach for your phone, the screen lighting up with a text from Seungcheol, a simple ‘don’t forget to drink water ;)’ in your notifications and you can’t help but pout.
Seungcheol was nice, almost too nice. Definitely not in a murderer kinda way though, you think.
He bought you expensive gifts and never asked for anything in return which made you feel bad sometimes. And while the donations and tips you’d made through your camshows was enough to get by with, Seungcheol’s generous donations helped you always make your rent and bills on time without worrying if you’d have enough or not.
You quickly text him back with a smile on your face; hoping that he’ll like what you had to offer.
Seungcheol feels the exact same way he did when you first contacted him offering him a free show, except maybe ten times worse. At first, he’d been a little sad that he hadn’t won your quick little game but this made up for it 20-fold.
The six simple words read ‘want to meet up next friday?’, a small heart emoji next to the question and he’d almost thrown his phone when he read it, hands shakily responding with a simple ‘I’d love to.’ to make it seem like he was calm when he was most definitely not.
His immediate next order of business after replying was to text Namjoon despite how late into the night it already was, begging for the day off and offering to take any shifts or pay cuts in exchange for it.
All he needed was one day and he swore he’d never miss a day of work ever again.
Namjoon responds with a quick ‘sure, why not’, momentarily confusing him as to why his boss was awake while simultaneously sending Seungcheol into complete panic when he realizes he finally gets to meet you.
The week goes by extremely quickly to Seungcheol; his mood on a completely different level when he offers to pick up Yoongi’s Sunday shift without a complaint. He cleans up all the messes around the roller rink and even offers to do jobs that aren’t his which have Jeongguk raising a brow at the older male.
In the days that lead up to your meeting, Seungcheol looks up a few cafes that you might be interested in and even goes to get an STD exam, not that he’s expecting anything. Safety first, he says.
Your Wednesday show comes and goes, Seungcheol too excited to even get off when he watches you and he even donates an extra $600 at the end of the show; travel spending money, he offers.
And Thursday comes without a hitch and he all but skips to the employee backroom once his shift is over, humming a tune while he changes out of his uniform.
“Hey hyung, no offense, but are you okay?” Jeongguk rests against the locker next to Seungcheol’s open one, brow raised at the blue haired male that beams back at him. “I’m scared, why are you so… giddy. You even offered to take Yoongi-hyung’s weekend shift? What the hell was that about? I’ve never seen him that giddy either. Man, this place is getting weird, maybe I should quit...”
Seungcheol can’t help but laugh, patting Jeongguk on the shoulder before shutting his locker.
“I have an important meeting tomorrow, that’s all. And don’t quit, ‘cause who else is gonna give me free food.”
While the excitement had him since Saturday, now that it was finally Friday, he was downright nervous.
The two of you had agreed to meet at 2PM in front of the cafe that Seungcheol had picked out and you’d gotten a hotel in town to make it easier on yourself instead of trying to get back to your place too late. Seungcheol had offered to come pick you up, but you had politely declined; instead opting to meet him first before letting him do anything else for you.
And by nature, Seungcheol gets to the cafe 15 minutes early, fidgeting and continuously running his fingers through his hair as he patiently waits. He can feel his palms getting sweaty when he rubs them against his jeans, mentally trying to keep calm and his head floods with all sorts of thoughts; mainly, how he even got into this position with you in the first place. And he gets so distracted that he doesn’t realize you’d be standing watching him zone out for the last 5 minutes.
“Wow, not sure what’s got you so focused but you’re standing so still!”
Seungcheol hears your cute airy laugh that follows, a cherry blush on his cheeks when his eyes meet your smiling face. “I--oh my god…” He whispers, taking in your appearance.
He feels his face buzzing, fingers twitching when he sees you in a cute simple sundress. “W-wow, you--you’re just… so beautiful. I mean, you’re beautiful on cam too but just, wow, in person? Incredible.” The blush reaches his ears when he realizes he’s rambling, a nervous laugh spilling out of his lips.
“S--sorry, I, uh, usually I’m more chill than this but y’know…” He trails off, to which you nod. You step closer to Seungcheol and he gets a hint of your sweet smelling perfume, mentally groaning when your cute eyes peer up into his.
“That’s okay! I totally understand~ I’m kinda nervous myself too, to be honest…” You pause, a pink blush coating your own cheeks. “But let’s talk over some food, huh?”
Seungcheol doesn’t want to pry, but he’s not sure if he should address you as ‘Cherry’ in person, or if he should avoid calling you by anything at all.
He watches as you go through the cafe’s menu, biting the inside of his cheek as he itches to ask.
“‘Cheol… I can feel you staring, y’know.. Penny for your thoughts?” You ask, concerned eyes meeting his nervous ones.
“I just-- Sorry, I didn’t mean to be awkward, I just was wondering how I should address you in person? I don’t want to overstep my bounds, I know you don’t put your real name out there so…”
You place your menu down, closing it before leaning on your palms atop the small table. Seungcheol is cute, too cute, you think. You knew this would be a question when the two of you eventually met and you had given yourself the time to get used to the idea that he’d know your real name.
He eyes hyperfocus on your glossy lips, watching as you say your name for him for the first time.
Seungcheol’s heart threatens to beat out of his chest when he hears it; repeating it over and over in his head before he says it out loud.
“Wow, it sounds nice when it’s you saying it~” You tease, leaning back in your chair. “I don’t mind if you call me by my name, by the way! The pet names are cute but maybe we should keep that to the bedroom~” You end in a whisper, winking at the male.
Fuck, he thinks, just as his cock throbs at your comment. He really wishes you wouldn’t say things like that because he’s weak and he knows it, especially when it comes to you. “Okay, cool! Yeah, sorry, I just---I didn’t want to overstep, I know you don’t really let that be public information.”
“Of course! And thank you, I really can’t tell you how much you’ve done for me. I really… really wouldn’t be able to do all the things that I do if it weren’t for your constant support.”
You want to say more, but the waiter comes to take your orders, cutting you off until he leaves again.
“By the way…” Seungcheol looks at you with curious eyes, lips puckered around his drink straw. “Tell me about yourself, ‘Cheollie! I feel like we didn’t really get to talk that one time!”
He swallows the water in his mouth, licking his dry lips. Here goes nothing, he thinks.
“I swear, and please don’t think I’m a loser, but I--I work at a roller rink. It’s really not cool, I’m not some high paid CEO or whatever, I--I just, I work hard?” Seungcheol chuckles, running a hand through his hair as he waits for your reply.
“Wait, that’s so cool! Oh my gosh, I kinda wanna go!”
The surprise washes over Seungcheol, eyes wide as saucers when he hears you saying you’d want to visit his workplace. “Wuh---wait, seriously!?”
“Yeah! It’s kinda, like, retro! I haven’t been to one since I was a kid!” He quickly offers to bring you to the roller rink on Sunday so you could have somewhere to hang out while you were in town.
“And sadly, I took a shift on Sunday so you can hang with me while I work.”
Seungcheol grins, watching as you jokingly roll your eyes at him. “So you did it on purpose, huh…” The two of you share a laugh, glad that your first meeting seemed to be going okay so far.
“Well, I mean, if it makes you feel any better, my best friend works the concession stand so I’ll make sure to get you a free pair of skates and food whenever you want?”
“It’s a deal!”
The two of you continue to talk over your late lunch, Seungcheol telling you of the various work hijinks he’d gone through at his time working at the roller rink.
“Which, by the way, that morning show you did… Hope you know I holed up in the restroom for an entire hour for that ‘lil stunt.”
You can’t help the tears that fall from your eyes when you laugh, only feeling slightly bad for the blue haired male. “But I told you! Sometimes it’s just like that, y’know~” You tease back, heart blooming at the way you and Seungcheol got along.
In all honesty, there’d been something on your mind since you first sat down and you didn’t know when the right time to ask was, or if it was even appropriate.
The smile slips from your face as you bite the inside of your cheek in thought.
Seungcheol takes the bill from the waiter, slipping his card into the holder before you can even offer. But he notices the way your expression falls, noting the hesitance in your eyes when he looks at you from across the table.
“Are you okay? What’s wrong?” His voice is gentle, soft and caring when he leans over the table to make sure you’re alright.
“Yeah! Just---Can I ask you for a favor?”
#cherrybomb!cheol#seungcheol smut#seventeen smut#svt smut#scoups smut#scoups scenarios#scoups imagines#seungcheol imagines#seungcheol scenarios#svt scenarios#svt imagines#seventeen imagines#seventeen scenarios#scoups#seungcheol
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I was looking through a bunch of junk and found some letters from my dad when he was in the army. I’m afraid I'll accidently toss them, so maybe I’ll put them here?
OPs Name JUNE 02 03
I LOVE YOU
THIS IS MY NAME IN KURDISH
*my dad wrote his first and last name, and under it, in Kurdish*
ILL TRY AND FIND OUT HOW TO WRITE YOUR NAME AND MOMS TOO.
ITS STILL HOT. I WORK AND READ BOOKS TO PASS THE TIME AWAY.
HOW ARE YOU DOING? GOOD I HOPE. WHAT DO YOU DO FOR FUN? DO YOU EVER HANG OUT WITH YOUR FRIENDS? TELL THEM I SAID “WASSUP?” NAH, DONT TELL THEM. TELL ME WHAT YOUR THINKING. I’M TRYING TO SEND YOU SOME MORE OF MY DRAWINGS. WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DRAW YOU? DID YOU LIKE THE DRAWING I SENT YOU OF YOU NAME? ITS ALRIGHT IF YOU DIDNY. JUST TELL ME WHAT YOU DO WANT ME TO DRAW YOU.
(Flip Page)
THIS IS WEIRD! (The page does not have lines on the left side of it) i WONDER WHAT HAPPENED TO THIS PIECE OF PAPER. HaHa
I MISS YOU ALOT. PLEASE SOND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR DRAWINGS, YOU CAN DRAW ME ANYTHING YOU WANT TO.
ARE YOU BEING GOOD FOR YOUR MOM? ITS NICE IF YOU HELP HER OUT WHILE I’M AWAY.
HAVE YOU BEEN ANYPLACE NEW? HOW IS SCHOOL GOING FOR YOU? IS MOMMY GOING TO SCHOOL? I KNOW I WANT TO GO TO SCHOOL WHEN I GET BACK. HOPEFULLY I GET THE CHANCE TO LEARN EVERYTHING THAT THERE IS TO KNOW. THAT WOULD BE GREAT.
ALSO, ID LIKE TO DO SOME FISHING? HOW ABOUT YOU? I GUESS ILL END HERE. BE GOOD AND STAY IN SCHOOL. AND JUST SAY NO TO DRUGS.
THEYRE BAD.
I LIVE YOU OP
*hearts and x’s* DADDY
---
(I don’t know if all these pages are in order or if it’s missing any, but this was the letter in the same stack as the last but this one was for my mom. In some places his indents indicate passage of time.)
I HAVENT HAD ANY TIME TO WRITE SINCE WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD, NOT TO MENTION THAT WE CAN’T SEND MAIL WHEN WE’RE MOVING ALL THE TIME.
WEVE BEEN ON THE ROAD FOR ABOUT FIVE OR SIX DAYS, I HAVENT REALLY BEEN COUNTING. I KNOW I TOLD YOU THAT WE’D BE IN KUWAIT FOR A WHILE, BUT THAT WAS SO YOU WOULDNT BE WORRIED. I’M GOING TO KEEP THIS LETTER THOUGH, TILL I GET HOME.
ABOUT TWO NIGHTS AGO, WE DROVE THROUGH BAGDHAD, SOMEBODY SAID THAT THERE WERE PILED BODIES, I DONT KNOW IF IT WAS TRUE.
AND I GUESS YESTERDAY, A COUPLE OF PEOPLE SAID THEY SAW A MISSILE OR SOEMTHING SHOT AT US. I WAS TRYING TO FIX A TRUCK SO I DIDNT SEE IT.
ITS NOT AS DUSTY HERE IN IRAQ. IT REMINDS ME OF THE CONVOYS IN KOREA.
MOST OF THE PEOPLE WILL WAVE “HI”. SOME OTHERS DONT.
I SAW A KID OPEN HIS HAND ONCE WHILE MOVING, AND IT SAID “BUSH” THAT WAS KIND OF COOL.
OH YEAH. HERES A STORY. WHILE OUT DOING A MISSION, ONE OF OUR “BRADLEY” TANKS FIRED ON AN ENEMY AMMO TRUCK AND CLIPPED A KID. THE ROUNDS BLEW ONE OF HIS LEGS OFF AND SOME OF THE OTHER, FROM THE KNEE DOWN. SO THE MEDICS PICKED HIM UP AND BROUGHT HIM TO OUR RECONCOLIDATING POINT FOR MEDICAL TREATMENT. I GUESS HE EVENTUALLY DIED FROM LOSS OF BLOOD THE NEXT NIGHT AND YESTERDAY THEY TOOK HIM OUT AND BURIED HIM.
ALSO WE PICKED UP ABOUT 25-30 P.O.W.s AND SENT THEM SOUTH.
IT GETS PRETTY COLD AT NIGHT. AND THE DAY’S ARE VERY HOT.
SINCE WE LEFT KUWAIT ITS BEEN ME AND MENDOZA IN THE FIVE TON WRECKER AND I HAVE TO ADMIT THAT ITS BEEN EXCITING. WE KEPT GETTING SEPERATED FROM THE CONVOY AND BREAKING DOWN. BUT I THINK THAT WERE BETTER NOW. HOPEFULLY.
IM STILL WAITING TO BE AMBUSHED TO MAKE ALL THIS SEEM REAL TO ME. A PART OF ME WANTS IT AND ANOTHER DOESNT.
AND IT SEEMS LIKE ONLY OUR UNIT HAS TO STAY IN UNIFORM, EVERYONE ELSE WEARS T-SHIRTS AND BANDENA’S AND RAGS ON THEIR HEAD
WERE STILL GOING NORTH. NOBODY KNOWS HOW LONG WE’LL STAY. ITS NOT THAT BAD HERE. MEANING, IT COULD BE WORSE.
I USED A “SHIT-CHAIR”. ITS JUST A METAL CHAIR WITH A HOLE CUT IN THE MIDDLE AND THE SEAT FROM A TOILET BOLTED TO IT, GROSS.
HELICOPTERS CAN BE HEARD ALL DAY AND NIGHT. I GOT TO SEE THEM DROP BOMBS ALL DAY ABOUT 3 DAYS AGO, FROM A DISTANCE OF COURSE.
ILL BE DRIVING AGAIN, IN A MINUTE. PROBABLY RE-FUEL AND BACK ON THE ROAD AGAIN. IM ENJOYING IT.
I HAVE 8 MAGAZINES FULL OF ROUNDS. NO GRENADES, BUT I LIKE IT LIKE THAT.
SOMETIMES IT SMELLS LIKE SHIT.
I GUESS ILL END IT HERE FOR NOW
I LOVE YOU AND MISS YOU TWO TWICE IF NOT THRICE AS MUCH AS YOU MIGHT MISS ME TOO.
HELLO AGAIN. WERE SOMEWHERE NEAR TIKRI + MOSUL. YESTERDAY, ME + MENDOZA WENT LOOKING FOR MOMENTO’S. WE BROKE A LOCK TO A NEAR BY BUNKER AND FOUND 6 A.K.47s! BUT ON OUR WAY BACK TO TURN THEM IN, MAJOR TATU GOT THEM FROM US. I WAS SO PISSED. BUT I GOT A GAS MASK w/ FILTER, A FULL MAGAZINE CLIP FROM ONE OF THE A.K.s AND A BERET WITH IRAQ 1 RANK ON IT.
I MADE A STENCIL FOR THE TRUCK WERE RIDING IN. ITS CALLED THE “GAMBLER.” YESTERDAY MENDOZA DROVE, SO TODAY ILL BE DRIVING.
IM NOT POSITIVE, BUT, I THINK WERE GOING TO TURKEY. NIETO SAYS THAT HE OVERHEARD SOMEBODY FROM S1 (or SI, I’m not sure) SAYING WE MIGHT GET PAID EXTRA FOR GOING THROUGH BAGHDAD.
I THINK NIETO’S MAD AT ME. CANT EXPLAIN WHY. MAYBE ITS BECAUSE IM RIDING WITH MENDOZA AND HE DOESNT LIKE MENDOZA TOO MUCH. OH WELL, WHATEVER REASON, HOPE THINGS GET NORMAL AGAIN. HAVE TO GO,
*hearts and xs*
TODAY IS THE 25th OF APRIL, I RECEIVED FIVE OR SIX (OR SEVEN) LETTERS YESTERDAY. THE LATEST WAS DATED 07 OF APRIL. THAT TELLS ME THAT ITS GOING TO TAKE A WHILE TO COMMUNICATE.
WE HAVENT RECEIVED MAIL BECAUSE WEVE BEEN MOVING NEVER STAYING IN ONE PLACE MORE THAN A DAY, OR TWO, UNTIL NOW. WE’VE BEEN IN THIS SPOT GOING ON FOUR DAYS TOMORROW?!
GIVE ME A MINUTE...
FOR THE LAST COUPLE OF DAYS IVE BEEN HELPING MENDOZA PULL THE ENGINE OUT OF A 5 TON TRUCK AND SWITCH IT w/ ANOTHER ONE. IT WOULD HAVE BEEN EASY BUT THE FLY WHEEL SEIZED UP INSIDE THE BELL HOUSING. ITS FINISHED NOW AND THE RUMOR IS WE’RE LEAVING (OR MOVING) AGAIN TOMORROW.
ITS 10:33 THURSDAY MORNING. YOUR TIME IS 12:32 JUST TURNING THURSDAY.
I ALMOST CRYED WHEN I SAW ELIS PICTURE. I REALLY MISS BOTH OF YOU. LET ME BACK TO BEFORE I GOT DISTRACTED. I HAVENT BEEN ABLE TO SEND MAIL BECAUSE WE’VE BEEN MOVING. BUT I GUESS THAT WHATEVER THREAT THERE WAS (IF ANY), ISNT SO THREATFUL ANYMORE, WE CAN START RECEIVING AND SENDING MAIL. NO PHONE TO CALL FROM, AND NO INTERNET TO E-MAIL FROM.
THE WHOLE UNIT IS SCATTERED, SO EVEN IF I GET WHAT YOU NEED IT’LL TAKE FOREVER TO GET IT TO YOU. LET ME PULL THOSE LETTERS BACK OUT. OH WAIT. I DID LAUNDRY AND SOME UNDERWEAR THATS DRY, FELT HARD, OH WELL, WAIT A SECOND, K
I HAD TO FOLD SOME T-SHIRTS. ALL MY SOCKS ARE STILL DAMP.
YOU CAN USE MY CONTRACT TO SHOW THAT I ENLISTED IN TEXAS AND HOWS THIS
*On a separate sheet my dad wrote a detailed note for my mom to give to someone to confirm that he did want to buy a house. He writes “I AM ALIVE AND WELL.” and “PLEASE ACCEPT THIS PAPER”, then he signed it with his scribble signature, and underneath it wrote his name in print and added “1st SQUADRON 10th CAVALRY HEADQUARTERS TROOP (I have no clue what this means)*
HOW’S THAT? HOPE I SPELLED EVERYTHING CORRECTLY. IM ALMOST READY WITH A DESIGN TO COVER THE OTHER TATTOOS ON MY LEFT FOREARM.
I JUST FINISHED LOOKING OVER ALL THOSE LETTERS YOU SENT FOR ME
IM BACK! I GOT SLEEPY SO I TRYED TO LAY DOWN FOR A LITTLE BIT. NO SLEEP. I DONT THINK. I DIDNT HAVE ENOUGH WATER TO WASH MY DCV’S AND A PAIR OF BDV’S. BESIDES FOR DRINKING WATER, BUT WE HAVE TO CONSERVE IT.
LET ME TELL YOU ABOUT THE RUMORS. TOMORROW WE’LL BE LEAVING FOR THE IRAN/IRAQ BORDER TO DO “PEACE KEEPING” FOR 3 TO 6 mths. OTHERS SAY THAT THE 4ID (i think is what this says) GENERAL WANTS TO KEEP US HERE TILL NOV., THATS WHEN 1 CAV WILL COME TO REPLACE US. WHILE OTHERS SAY WE MIGHT LEAVE BY JUNE. NOTHINGS FOR SURE.
SMALLER RUMORS FLOATING AROUND THE SITE ARE; RAMSEY AND SFC BACON ARE SLEEPING TOGETHER. SGT SIREK HAS PLANS TO TAKE NIETO AS HIS APPRENTICE AND PADIWAN LEARNER OF THE DARK SIDE. LITTLE BLACK ARNOLD IS MILITARY INTELLIGENCE FOR SPECIAL FORCES OPERATING UNDER COVER A SURVEILLENCE AS PART OF
*the rest of the page is blank*
IM BACK. TODAY IS THE 27th. I GOT BACK TO THE LITTLE CAMP AREA ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF AGO. I LEFT YESTERDAY MORNING TO, WELL, AS PART OF DE-CON (DE-CONTAMINATION) MISSION. HERES THE INFORMATION THAT I GATHERED.
A SITE HAD BEEN FOUND THAT WAS THOUGHT TO HAVE CHEMICAL WEAPONS AND 1-10 WAS APPOINTED TO GO TO THE SITE AND DE-CON THE CIVILIANS THAT WERE GOING TO OPEN THEM. AS IT TURNS OUT THE CIVILIANS HAVE BEEN DE-LAYED AND WOULD BE SET BACK 1 DAY.
THE NBC TEAM THAT I WAS WITH WERENT PREPARED TO STAY OVER NIGHT AND AS FORCASTED BY SSG MINOR WE MIGHT HAVE HAD TO STAY 3 TO 4 DAYS. EVERYBODY WAS PISSED.
LATELY ITS BEEN GETTING REALLY COLD AT NIGHT AND WE JUST HAPPENED TO BE NEAR A RUNNING RIVER. SO THE, ITS ABOUT 9 O’CLOCK AND IM BEAT, NO SLEEPING BAG OR ANYTHING TO COVER UP WITH AND I DECIDE TO TRY AND SLEEP. I GET AS COMFORTABLE AS POSSIBLE AND I GET ATTACKED BY MOSQUITOS. NOW IM PISSED SO I DECIDED TO JUST TO STAY UP ALL NIGHT. ABOUT 10PM ONE OF THE HEMTT (this might just say “hemi”, I don’t know) FUELERS SHOWS UP AND SGT TORRES SAYS HE HAS EVERYBODYS SLEEPING BAG! THE SITES ABOUT 45 MINS AWAY AND THEY LEFT SOMETIME MID AFTERNOON TO GET OUR SHIT, I HATE THESE PEOPLE.
RIGHT NOW ITS 9:01 PM AND ITS 11:02 AM YOUR TIME. I MISS YOU.
RIGHT NOW IM GOING TO ADDRESS AN ENVELOPE AND HAVE IT READY TO SEND TOMMOROW THE 28th. IM SORRY IF IT SEEMS THAT IM NOT WRITING VERY OFTEN. FOR A WHILE WE COULDN’T. AND NOW THAT IT SEEMS WE MIGHT BE HERE A LITTLE WHILE, THEYVE KEPT ME REALLY BUSY. LET ME ADDRESS THE ENVELOPES (he drew a star here)
ALL DONE. I THOUGHT ABOUT THE HOUSE A LOT TODAY AND YESTERDAY. IM SURE BY THE TIME THIS LETTER REACHES YOU, YOU’LL HAVE EITHER GOTTEN IT OR GAVE IT UP. IM O.K. WITH EITHER DECISION YOUVE MADE.
YOUVE KEPT THIS FAMILY TOGETHER, AND THAT MAKES ME PROUD. YOUR SMART, ATTRACTIVE AND FUNNY. AND YOU DONT TAKE ANY SHIT FROM ANYBODY. I LOVE YOU.
I HOPE THAT OUR DAUGHTER TURNS OUT TO BE LIKE YOU.
I GUESS ILL MAIL THIS TOMORROW, FIRST THING, SO
EVER YOURS
EVER MINE
*my dad signed it with his scribble, and wrote his name under it. under that are hearts and x’s with my mom’s name and then my name under hers.*
#very personal but where the fuck am i gonna put them? you know where i kinda cant lose them?#letters from the guy that was my dad#pt 1#long post
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I started panicking about matching where I want in Ob/Gyn. The institutions I want to match at have an average Step 1 score of 231/235 and Step 2 of 245/250. I have NOT been giving ANY shits about Step 2 and shelves this entire year so now I really have to kick my ass into gear. I have 3 more 6-week rotations: Ob/Gyn, peds, IM. Hopefully ending on IM will give me an edge, but after bombing the FM shelf my self-confidence is destroyed. I desperately needed this 2 week break to do nothing, though. I feel more motivated, but like I mentioned before, also more panicked.
The match stats are DISGUSTING. 870 applicants? 110 interviews? 11 positions? WTF.
OK, I NEED TO FOCUS ON THE THINGS I CAN DO NOW.
Actually get my manuscript published - finish my revisions, my updated literature review
Study for my shelves and not give up because I’m bored (lol). Alright, Meg, you can do 20-25 question per day. And you can do Anki, even if you don’t do it perfectly
SOLICIT INSANE FEEDBACK ON OB/GYN - I need to get a rec letter out of this!
Get caught up on curriculum reform efforts - e-mail the appropriate physicians, work on infographic for the committee, review the survey for medical students, start poster for AMSA scholars program
Renew efforts in ECs: doula at PP, stay involved with the free clinic’s re-opening efforts
Text the current ob/gyn residents for advice
Figure out how many away rotations I can do/how to do them
For now, focus on this year and Step 2.
God medical school is stressful, I was really thinking once I got in it would be less stressful but this matching shit sucks
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42 45 50 gogogo
42. do you prefer gazing wistfully out the window or lying dramatically over the sofa?
i do both simultaneously. but given that im sitting all day at work, i flop on couches like no other. then slep.
45. favorite pajamas?
some kinda sweatpant/pj pant with pockets (not flannel unless its actually cold out) and a tshirt from somewhere that was giving out free tshirts at some point in my life.
shirt n socks optional depending on temperature
50. what’s your dreamhouse?
i am constantly flip flopping between extravagant mansion with hidden passages and secret rooms/ small house within walking distance to a supermarket where i can just lock myself in, emerging only for supplies on an annual basis.
but see a big house is harder to clean and also im gonna be living alone and at that point the only upside is the acoustics of a big house for dramatic speeches to a dog.
definitely needs a slot for mail and packages. maybe a smart fridge so i stop eating spoiled food. roomba for cleaning up. A/C and heater is a must. black-out curtains bc fuckt he sun.
aaaa i want a library even though i havent read an actual book in YEARS. mostly so i can hide doors behind bookshelves. Oh. I could put a whole fucking maze behind bookshelves just for funsies since this is a dream house. I will build a hidden labyrinth for brooding and also maybe so when i die no one can find my body until a couple of intrepid teens happen upon it years later and go on an adventure.
oh you know what lets put a big ol tv in here somewhere for games. and like 50 really good computers incase i break one. homeless people can come into the computer room and use them. there’s free laptops and phones for them too. they came with the house shhh. there’s a 3d printer.
one room has the entire library of alexandria in it. i saved it by making a time paradox and now its in my house that can be filleld with literally anything. i cant read any of them though bc im dumb. so there’s like a scientist chilling in my house too i guess.
one room opens to space. just as an option. yes there is an endless vacuum behind this door and yes it will kill me instantly but its fuckign SPACE. i can shoot shit through a vacuum tube to go into space too. i shoot all my embarrassing poetry adn art into space and the aliens make a religion about them. im the 7th grade god now.
oh yeah theres a room filled with money. actually its a corridor full of doors that lead into the bank accounts of the rich. like the physical versions of them. i use this corridor to become robin hood and finally find fulfillment in life. i steal all the crown jewels and send them to their countries of origin. OH and also doors into museums. im gonna do crimes of culture. save the cultures. give them their art back. and leave a calling card with just a crude drawing of a dick at the museum. i become known as the cock crusader but SURPRISE i didnt have a cock this whole time its the perfect crime.
theres another room thats a straight up time machine. i go into the past and un-birth hitler. i seduce his mom/dad/grandpappy and then also matchmake them to randos. i proceed to appear at various points in history as a mythical creature. i m the mothman i predict the tragedies now.
i have a room of spiders. i throw my enemies in there. i dont really have any enemies yet. i hope one day i will so i dont waste the spider room.
theres probably a pool somewhere too. it’s filled with the cure for all disease but it doesnt work unless you have less than 1 million dollars of material wealth. i dont make the rules. the pool does.
at least one room is noneuclidean. i dont know how it works either so take it up with god
theres a room with real pokemon. no mr mimes though bc he freak me out. tbh its mostly pikachus bc im basic af with my faves and pikachu herds sound adorable and i will die.
another room is like. a room where you go and talk to people who died. not like a dedicated ouija room. thats in the bomb shelter. no like you sit at a table and their soul just floats on over and theres a hologram and everything.
i have a ton of robots. theyre all vaguely sexy. they make me uncomfortable but i am irresponsible with my power
one room has a megaphone. when you speak into it it doesnt make any noise but instead it beams your voice into the mind of who youre thinking of. i use it to brighten the days of my friends and destroy the psyches of my enemies. still dont have any enemies yet. would it be overkill to do this in addition to the spiders?
there is an attic filled with mannequins. this is my nightmare room. i never go there and i pretend it doesnt exist. when someone wanders in there, their heads follow their movement wordlessly. they dont do anything but its really unnerving and no one likes it.
there is a completely soundproof room that i go into and make whatever noises i want. no one can hear me here. i practice doing accents where no one can hear how bad and ashamed i am. even with no one else listening, i get self-conscious. this room is now the Screaming Room for makign stress noises in.
one room is filled with conversation starter cards and a mirror. i go here and study often. the cards ask me about my childhood traumas and i burn them. the room is now a room for pep-talks. i get self-conscious halfway through the peptalk and walk out, dejected. why is talking so hard.
one room opens into a ranch. it’s where we put all the shelter pets. there are therapy areas for them so they learn love and be loved again. they run in large open areas and are happy and fuzzy and clean and full. it’s staffed by people who know how toactually take care of animals. i go there sometimes to get swarmed by big ol dogs and big ol cats and so many fuzzy babies. then i go to the allergy removal room bc i didnt think that through.
there’s a never-ending food room. i dont know where it comes from or how fully-prepared food just appears like that. world hunger is ended and im still a lazy shit and forget to eat more than a single tortilla. the food doesnt make you sick or unhealthy its just good food that tastes good and feels good and is good. there is maybe an onion corner and i dont acknowledge its existence aside from the occassional glance.
theres a dumb bitch dungeon for the people i have a one-sided hatred for who ruin life for the entire planet. it shoots off into space. they get dissected and analyzed by aliens. the aliens decide to never come to earth bc jfc is this really what yall do. a small price to pay. maybe other aliens might come and be chill. i have a room for the aliens just in case.
theres other houses for people i care about and a few more for those i dont yet know that i care about. no rent. just a place to live and be happy. its filled with friends and happiness and i really want this eldritch abomination of a house now.
im v sleepy OH YEAH AND A RLY BIG CRAFT ROOM
#answerin asks#this got outta hand#dream house means dream house which means literally limited by my imagination adn the depths of my psyche#we dont talk about nightmare room it is a bad dream and thats all there is to say#rambleramble#poketoa#asked n answered
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you are fatherless + im going to doxx you + im mailing a pipe bomb to your house + ratio
1. same dad
2. same house
3. see number two
4. no u
5. ur teeny tiny
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"Mr. Vox? Did you order a package? One just came in."
One of the Voxitechs employees hands a box to the overlord, inside was a bomb loaded with holy water. Set to go off the moment the package was open
@heyslutsitswinter {mentioned idk if u sent this anon but im in it now.}
Vox eyes narrow. "really?" A package, sent to him when he's heard news that basically anyone that anyone also recieved a package that was a bomb? "wonder what it could be." He takes the package and takes it to a safe room placing it gently on a table, pressing a few buttons on his wrist. "i need the bomb squad at voxitech headquarters, now."
He closes a heavy safe like door before returning to his office pressing a button accessing comms to the building.
"everyone, we have a change in plans of what the order of agenda were doing today. Today it seems the bomber has targeted me. As if i would ever be stupid to open a package that i did not order and that has hit several high targets today. So, today were going to track down this son of a bitch, everyone is going to be working on figureing out when this package was delivered, were going to use every fucking piece of tech we have across the fucking rings to track where this package came from, who delivered it, which mail post sent it, and maybe who sent it through the post, were gonna find out what exact material they used for their bomb. This son of a bitch tried to kill the last hope for hell, lets fucking show them why we are the number 1 of the modern age. Lets track these fuckers down, get to work its gonna be a busy day for us all."
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Red Velvet Reel 4.3: A Crabapple A Day
[Fic Directory]
Pairing: [Married] Spicyhoney (Underfell Papyrus x Underswap Papyrus)
Summary: Undyne finally shows up, and tells Stretch and Blue the rumors about Edge and Red- much to their delight. The Fell Bros take advantage of the situation to try and scare Undyne....
Characters: Edge (Underfell Papyrus) & Stretch (Underswap Papyrus) & Red (Underfell Sans) & Blue (Underswap Sans) & Undyne (Underswap Undyne)
Contains: Mpreg/Skelepreg! Awkward & Anxious Swapdyne! Red and Edge being mean, lol.
Rating: Teen and up! (I guess?)
Note: Allie is Swap!Alphys’ nickname, of course! :’D She’s just mentioned~ While technically she works with Edge on the ‘military matters,’ she’s more of Swap!Asgore’s personal body guard. TBH, Edge’s got enough confidence, bluster, and charisma to make it work by himself most of the time anyway.
“I’M SO LATE AND I AM INCREDIBLY SORRY ABOUT THAT-” “Dyne-a-mite!” Stretch was on the other side of the room in an instant, cutting off the incredibly nervous-looking fish monster by giving her a big bear hug. “Pap-Bomb!” She sounded equally excited, squeezing back hard enough someone’s bones popped. She reached up to loop her arm around his neck, noogieing the top of his head affectionately. “Where have you BEEN?! You missed out on the newest m00n-single! Serena got a rap solo, and she was so good! I didn’t like her look very much though- gray hair! White I could live with, but gray?!” Stretch winced, still hunched over and trapped in her grip, “Owie Ow Ow- I’ve been busy-“ Undyne’s grin widened, “Don’t I know it, you sly-“
Blue cleared his throat pointedly, and Undyne literally jumped in alarm. Her face darkened in a mortified blush, tripping over her feet to stand in front of him. She grabbed Blue’s hand and started shaking it hard enough his entire arm was moving. “HEY MR. EDGE OH WAIT YOU HAVE A RANK UH UM COLONEL NO WAIT ITS HIGHER GENERAL GENERALISSIMO IN CHIEF IM SO SOR- SORRY I DONT KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT MILITARY THINGS SIR EDGE IVE HEARD A LOT ABOUT YOU-“ Blue sighed, prying her vice grip off of his fingers and shaking them out with a wince, “Ow! It’s me, Undyne!” She blinked at him owlishly, putting her slightly skewed glasses back in place firmly and leaning forward. “Oh. So it is. Hi Mr. Sans. Wait. Sans. Hi Sans.” Blue smiled warmly, reaching out to gently clap her on the shoulder. She jumped with a little scream. “Why are you so nervous?! It’s just us!” “It’s not just you!” Undyne hissed, leaning close and looking around suspiciously. Edge and Red had been quick to move out of her line of sight, quietly watching her every movement with strategic calculation. “Pap’s husband and his brother-in-law are here too! Didn’t they come with you? Are they coming later? I’m super nervous about meeting them! First impressions are the most important!” Blue raised his browbones, exchanging a quick glance with Stretch. Edge had knocked her out cold that one time... It was probably for the best she didn’t remember that incident. “Why? What have you heard?” Undyne turned to Blue looking incredulous, not realizing he hadn’t been the one to ask the question. “Wha- you guys told me! And Allie, but she doesn’t know them very well cause they don’t work together often. She said they’re a different kind of monster. Like how some humans look pretty much the same, but they come from different countries and cultures? They’re like immigrant monsters! Which I never even thought was possible! We were all in the same Underground, but no one seems to know them!” Edge and Red exchanged a look behind her back, and Stretch started to sweat a little. “Can’t get anything past you! My mail-order husband! Directly shipped from an alternate universe!” Undyne frowned, rubbing her arms self-consciously, “That’s just... a pet theory... it’s dumb, I guess, yeah...” Blue gave Stretch a disapproving look, turning to Undyne with a reassuring smile, “I think it’s a very interesting theory! What makes you think that about Red and Edge?” Undyne opened her mouth, before stopping to look at Stretch a little warily. He sighed, slumping, “Sorry Dyne-amo, I was just teasing. I could never afford the cross dimensional shipping fees!” She laughed despite herself, punching him in the arm in camaraderie. Stretch blinked back tears of pain. Undyne’s excitement came back tenfold, “Allie says that Edge is unlike any other monster she’s ever met, which is why he can’t be from around here! He’s got the highest LOVE of any non-Boss monster EVER! Even higher than hers!” Undyne lowered her voice to a reverential whisper, “But she said he’s always professional and observant, wearing his scars like badges of honor and keeping his thoughts and emotions a secret. A grizzled veteran whose calm is a mask for the raging storm and power beneath! He’s as cold as steel in the winter, as sharp and mysterious as a blade in the moonlight! The glinting Edge of a sword poised to strike!” Edge didn’t say anything, but Blue could see the stars in his eyes all the way from across the room as he visibly vibrated. Stretch snickered, trying very unconvincingly to disguise it as a cough. “He sounds super dreamy- I wish he were my husband.” Edge didn’t look like he cared (or heard) still riding that flattered high. Undyne gave Stretch an incredulous look, “As though you don’t cry about how hot and cool he is every time we have A-Drama night.” Stretch blushed, looking down at the ground and playing with the cuffs of his sleeves. “Yeah, well, I never wrote detailed fanfiction about our future together!” Undyne turned an impressive shade of purple, “Wha-?! I-?! That’s!” “What about his brother?” Blue cut in to save them both from their embarrassment, although Red and Edge seemed to be enjoying themselves. “Allie says he usually sticks close to Edge, so she hasn’t had much of a one on one conversation with him. Red walks with a self-assured swagger, and has next level reflexes. She doesn’t know his LOVE or any of his stats because he manages to move out of the way before she can even try to CHECK him!” There was that familiar spark of excitement in her eye, and Stretch smiled fondly, “He’s irreverent and bold, speaking his mind to everyone, including the King and Queen themselves! Open and dangerous like a nail-studded baseball bat, warm like the last rays of summer sunlight in an alley without an exit. The silver tongue between Red-stained fangs!” Red’s grin was equally large, turning to his brother in glee. They had some sort of quick, whispered conversation, agreeing on something and- SLAM! Blue had seen it coming and he still flinched as the door slammed shut. Undyne and Stretch, distracted, both jumped and clung to each other. “Interesting.” Edge and Red radiated confidence and power, circling them leisurely like sharks sensing blood in the water. Edge circled to their right, lifting a browbone as he pointedly looked them head to toe. Undyne visibly shuddered under his scrutiny, clinging to Stretch even tighter in obvious apprehension. “Red, I need a second opinion,” Edge sounded disinterested, pointedly pulling a file from his inventory and sharpening the tips of his claws, “What does this look like to you?” Red, hands folded behind his head irreverently, slowly circled around them from the left, scrutinizing them in a way that had both Stretch and Undyne squirming uncomfortably. He scoffed loudly as he came back to stand by his brother, mouth quirking into a sly smirk. “Thinkin’ there’s somethin’ fishy goin’ on, Boss.” Undyne tensed, looking down at where she had been holding onto Stretch with a vice grip with mounting alarm. She let go and shoved him backwards hard enough he ended up crashing into the door, scrambling to smooth her clothes as though she had been caught doing something indecent. Undyne’s face turned such a dark shade of purple and she was positively shaking with nerves, stumbling over her words so badly it was essentially unintelligible. Edge tucked his file away, arms folded behind his back, calculating and menacing. Red stuffed one hand in his pocket, baring all of his teeth in a nasty smile, dangerous and intimidating.
[Part 1] [Part 2] [Part 3 - Here!] [Part 4] [Part 5] [Part 6] [Part 7]
#spicyhoney#underswap papyrus#underfell papyrus#underswap sans#underfell sans#underswap undyne#fanfic#redvelvetreel#skelepreg
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Rahjongg The Curse Of Ra Crack
09/24/2008
Category: Games / Board GamesDescription of 'The Curse Of Ra - Expert Edition' is a mission pack for The Curse Of Ra. It features 50 brand new levels for you to solve. All 50 levels are of a higher difficulty level than the standard 'The Curse Of Ra', presenting a real challenge during long winter nights.The Curse Of Ra is a next generation version of the classic mahjongg game. It introduces new elements such as bombs, magnets and walls, and uses the one-layer two-angles arcade rules.
Windows, Windows 98, Windows Me, Windows 2000, Windows XP
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More Similar SoftwareThe Curse Of Ra - Junior Edition 3.0 .. 'The Curse Of Ra - Junior Edition' is a mission pack for The Curse Of Ra. It features 50 brand new levels for you to solve. All 50 levels are of a lower difficulty than the standard 'The Curse Of Ra', making them easy to solve and fun to play.The Curse Of Ra is a next generation version of the classic mahjongg game. It introduces new elements such as bombs, magnets and walls, and uses the one-layer two-angles arcade rules. .. The Curse Of Ra: Ra's Revenge (Mission Pack 1) 3.0 .. Ra's Revenge is a mission pack for The Curse Of Ra. It features 50 brand new levels for you to solve. Play the dynasties VIII to XVI of this sequel to The Curse Of Ra.The Curse Of Ra is a next generation version of the classic mahjongg game. It introduces new elements such as bombs, magnets and walls, and uses the one-layer two-angles arcade rules. .. The Curse Of Ra: Ra's Empire (Mission Pack 2) 3.0 .. Ra's Empire is a mission pack for The Curse Of Ra. It features 50 brand new levels for you to solve. Play the dynasties XVII to XXIV of this sequel to The Curse Of Ra.The Curse Of Ra is a next generation version of the classic mahjongg game. It introduces new elements such as bombs, magnets and walls, and uses the one-layer two-angles arcade rules. .. The Curse Of Ra (Plus CD by postal mail) 3.0 .. The Curse Of Ra is a next generation version of the classic mahjongg game. It introduces new elements such as bombs, magnets and walls, and uses the one-layer two-angles arcade rules.Work your way through 50 cleverly designed levels with increasing difficulty. Levels 8 to 50 will challenge both your mind and logic.Play in single or multiplayer modes. Also included is an editor allowing you to create your own levels and challenge your friends.You get the Registration Key for The Curse Of Ra plus .. Akeni Secure Instant Messaging - Expert 2.1.3 .. Akeni Secure Instant Messaging IM- Expert Edition, is a secured client/serverinstant message solution for business, enterprise and corporate IM use. It supports standard messagingfeatures such as chat, conference (group chat), notification, and filetransfer, and a feature rich client. Expert Messenger is easy to use andsetup, and offers advanced enterprise IM features such as 128-bit encryptionand server side message logging. ..
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If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself, and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! <333
1. I JUST GOT A SIGNED YUTA CHERRY BOMB PRINT IN THE MAIL AND IM SO HAPPY~!
2. I’m also only missing NCT127 Awaken album then my collection for them will be complete.
3. My bias is NCT dream is Jaemin, WayV is Winwin and for NCT127 it’s Yuta and Taeyong 💚
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HMH Teen Teaser: TIME BOMB by Joelle Charbonneau!
Tick…tick…tick…time is almost up before you new fave psychological thriller hits bookstores! If you loved ONE OF US IS LYING or THIS IS WHERE IT ENDS (and even THE BREAKFAST CLUB!) you will love this twisty turny thriller about a group of teens caught in their school when a bomb goes off. The problem? One of them is responsible. (Cue dramatic music here.)
Scroll down for an exclusive excerpt!
1:51 p. m .
“Don’t fight,” Cas said from the doorway that Frankie and Z had just disappeared through. Tears glistened in her eyes. “Can we turn the radio back on? Maybe they’ll tell us help is finally coming.”
Rashid clicked on the radio before heading over to help Tad. There was the buzz of static, then the announcer telling ev- eryone that the firefighters were making progress. The fire was contained to the west side, and they hoped to have it out soon.
“With one person of interest being questioned, authorities are now working to find another individual they have con- firmed is involved in this terrible bombing. A source confirms that the individual is one of the students trapped on the second floor of the school. With four bombs having already gone off, there appears to be one explosive device still inside the school that could detonate at any time.”
Another bomb was ready to go off, and the bomber was one of them.
Earlier Tha t Da y . . .
8:35 a.m.
D i a n a
— C h a p t e r 1 —
All you had to do was smile and wear the right clothes, and everyone would think you were special. If you appeared successful, people would automatically assume you were suc- cessful. Her parents believed that. Her father had built a career on it. They wanted her to believe it.
Diana hated that she did.
“Perception is everything, Diana,” her stepmother said so often that Diana wanted to scream. But screaming wasn’t pre- sentable. And, boy, did it make the wrong impression. This made screaming at the top of her lungs very tempting.
“Always take care to make the correct choice, Diana,” her stepmother said over and over again. “Everything you do is im- portant and reflects on your father and the positions he takes. And think about what your father’s opponents would claim if you don’t do well in school or become a leader in the activities you’re in. They’ll wonder how serious your father is about edu- cation if his own daughter doesn’t do well in school. The other side is always looking for a reason to point fingers and show that your father isn’t worthy of his position. That we aren’t worthy. So you can’t allow your grades or your attention to detail to slide, or you’ll hurt your father and, worse, you’ll hurt the work he’s trying to do.”
Diana looked down at the clothes she’d chosen for the day. After sixteen years, she knew exactly what details would be no- ticed and what people would think when they saw her.
Stylish white jeans. A tasteful pink top. But nothing too expensive, because that made people jealous. Nothing too tight, because that gave people the wrong idea. And no wrinkles. Wrinkles made people think you were lazy. No one trusts a per- son who is lazy. To get what you wanted in life, you must in- spire trust — even if you intended to break it.
Her father inspired trust with his perfectly tailored suits that were made less stuffy because he never wore a tie and al- ways left the collar open.
Folksy. Friendly. Everyone’s idea of the perfect dad and for- mer army-communications specialist who always puts his family and country first. At least that’s what people must have thought, because he got elected. He was working hard to make sure he got to keep his job for another term, and it was their family’s job — Diana’s job — to make sure she didn’t do anything wrong that could make voters question whether they wanted him back in office.
No pressure there.
“Katherine?” she yelled, knowing how much her stepmother hated raised voices. No response. She must have already gone downstairs. Dad would be in meetings already. Diana bit her lip as she reached for the gold studs Katherine gave her for her sixteenth birthday, then added the gold-cross necklace that had technically been from her father. She’d pretended not to notice when one of his aides handed him the box that he’d clearly been unaware of up until that moment.
“Little touches make all the difference,” Katherine insisted. “People notice the details.”
Yes, they did, Diana thought as she reached into her jewelry box and pulled out the ratty friendship bracelet she’d made for herself years ago, wishing she’d had someone to give it to and to get one in return from. No one ever assumed the popular girl needed to be given a gift. No one thought about whether the popular girl was lonely when she went home. Everyone as- sumed the popular girl had a million friends and a family who supported her.
Diana walked to her mirror and checked her makeup. Just enough to make her blue eyes look bigger. Nothing more, or people might question whether she was a good girl. And she was supposed to be a good girl. She ticked off her stepmother’s checklist one by one.
Good shoes. A nice home. Top grades.
Smart, respectable family tree. Perfect manners.
All signs of a strong, well-brought-up girl. A girl everyone claimed to know from school. One parents and teachers pointed to as an example to others. One who had been taught to calcu- late her appearance and demeanor down to the plain red color of her cell-phone case. One who was determined to use it all to show everyone that it was foolish to trust what someone wanted you to see.
Perfect.
And if she didn’t want to ruin her perfect image, Diana would have to get moving. Tardiness was not acceptable for a girl who was supposed to be without flaws. Tardiness implied a lack of respect for other people’s time.
Glancing at her watch, she shook her head and hurried downstairs to find her stepmother so she could get a ride to school for the yearbook meeting.
“Katherine?” she called.
No answer. Huh. Well, Katherine was probably in the back- yard making sure the staff had polished the patio furniture to a shine so that guests could be invited back to the house after the event tonight.
“Katherine?”
“Your mother went out.”
“What?” She turned and spotted her father standing next to the porch swing with his cell phone pressed to his ear. Since there was no point in correcting him about Katherine’s relation- ship to her, she simply asked, “Where?”
He put up a hand to quiet her. “Yes, I’m here, and yes, I understand there’s been some pushback, but I can’t step back from the bill, or I’ll get hammered. The press will smell blood and it’ll be over, and we all know I’m right on this. I just need one thing to tip in my favor. You have to trust me on this.”
Diana started to speak again, but before she could get a word out, her father turned his back and nodded. She would have to get in line for his attention.
“Yes. I’ll make that distinction tonight, and don’t worry. The event will be the perfect place to highlight the positive points in the bill and to take charge of the conversation. If you have other things you want to talk about, I’ll be at the office in a half-hour. Good speaking with you, too, Tim. I appreciate your dedication. We’re going to turn things around.” Finally he hung up and turned toward her.
He was wearing perfectly pressed khakis and a red polo shirt under a deep blue sports coat — relaxed authority was what her stepmother called the look. But despite the clothes, Diana didn’t think her father appeared relaxed.
“That was Tim?”
Her father nodded. “He’s worried about the negative press my Safety Through Education bill is getting.”
Tim hadn’t been on her father’s staff as long as the oth- ers, but he was smart and perceptive, which is why her father’s chief of staff hired him right out of graduate school. And even though he was younger than the rest of the staff, Diana knew Tim was right to be worried about her father’s bill. The press was calling it an invasion of privacy. The law would require that students and teachers inform the administration if they thought someone in the school might be interested in doing harm to students, teachers, or school property. Any students reported would then have to hand over their passwords to social media and email accounts or face suspension and a potential inves- tigation by federal authorities. Those who didn’t report suspi- cions before a harmful event could be charged with aiding and abetting.
Her father believed the law would turn everything in the country around and would finally do what no other laws had been able to do — make things safer. Any students interested in causing trouble would think twice about it if they knew their friends and teachers were watching them and ready to act on any suspicious activity. And by catching and circumventing threatening behavior early, there was a good chance of diverting those students toward a more positive path. Her father was cer- tain that taking action in the schools and the education system was the best way of changing the escalating pattern of violence in the country.
“Was there another bad story in the press?” Diana asked. Not everyone agreed with her father’s thoughts on how to keep the country safe. Since the unveiling of the bill, there had been phone calls and mail and huge editorials about invasion of pri- vacy and people’s differing definitions of what a “threat” to society actually was. Diana had even gotten hate mail for her father’s idea. When she had tried to talk to her father about it, he had just told her to give the mail to Tim and ignore it. That everything would work out. But when Tim had sat with her and listened to her talk about the threats she’d gotten and how people made a point of telling her they were going to vote her father out of office, Tim had admitted the backlash was concerning. If the tide of bad press and angry editorials about the potential law continued, they both agreed that it would be sunk before it ever had a chance to be tested. And her father’s career — one she had been told was necessary to make the world better — would be sunk along with it.
Was it any wonder Tim wanted to pull out all the stops to make sure her father’s event tonight got the press’s attention, or that she was willing to do whatever it took to help? It was nice to have someone finally realize that she was capable of helping, and to finally listen to her when she had an idea. And Tim had said he was glad he could run ideas by someone without having to worry about her telling the senator that his ideas were too radical or that he wasn’t up to the job.
Her father shrugged and gave her his own practiced smile. “Some of my co-sponsors are wondering if we should shelve the idea for more study, but Tim has some polling that says retreat- ing might do more harm than good. I’m not worried. Tim and the others have a plan to make this all come together.”
“If you need me —”
Her father held up his hand as the phone rang. The phone was always ringing. “I’ll catch this on my way to the office.” He looked at Diana and gave her a tense smile. “Your mother left a note for you on the counter. You can help by making sure you’re ready when she comes to pick you up. I need everything to be perfect if we’re going to turn this around.” Then, before she could say anything, her father put the phone to his ear and said, “Larry, I’m glad you called …” as he disappeared into the house.
Diana hurried after him, but he didn’t bother to look back. A minute later, Diana heard the front door slam behind him as he left before she could remind him that she needed a ride. And when she read her stepmother’s note, she knew she wasn’t going to get one from her, either.
Diana dear,
I’ll be home to pick you up at four. Wear the
blue satin dress hanging in your closet and leave
your hair down. Please be on time. Tonight is very
important to all of us.
Katherine
She stared at the letter.
Be on time.
Leave your hair down. Tonight is important.
But, clearly, driving Diana to school today was not.
She turned the bracelet on her arm again, looked at her stepmother’s words one more time, hearing each of them ring- ing in her head along with all the other things she’d said over the years.
“Keep your opinions to yourself, Diana.” Because they might differ from what she was supposed to think. And that wasn’t allowed.
“Remember that we’re counting on you.” Yes. They were.
Diana headed back upstairs to the antique toy chest in the corner of her room. Quickly, she dumped the decorative pillows and extra blanket stacked on top onto the floor, then lifted the lid. She pulled out two bags. In the side pocket of one of the bags, she found the list she’d made for herself a few weeks ago and put it in her pocket.
A quick glance at the clock told her she’d better get going or she’d be late for the yearbook meeting. Yesterday she’d moved the meeting to two hours earlier than originally scheduled. She doubted anyone would be thrilled that she’d asked them to change their plans simply to make them wait.
Diana turned, took one last look in the mirror and saw what her family wanted her to be. What she had tried so hard to pretend to be.
Perfect. Someone everyone expected to do the right thing and no one would ever suspect of doing something wrong.
Good.
Booting up her computer, she sent a quick message to Tim, telling him that she was going to school now. Then Diana care- fully picked up her bags and headed downstairs and out the door. Her father thought the only contribution he needed from her was for her to nod and smile and look flawless — like their family was supposed to be. She was determined to prove him wrong.
9:52 a.m.
R a s h i d
— C h a p t e r 2 —
“Why do you have to go to the school today?” his father asked, coming into the kitchen. Rashid had hoped to get out of the house before his father had gotten home from the hospital. So much for that idea. “Your classes do not start for another week.”
Rashid hefted the bag he had slung over his shoulder and explained, “I need a new school ID, Father.”
“What happened to your old one?” His father looked at him with a frown.
“I lost it when we were visiting with Sitto last month.” Technically, that was true. Although Rashid knew his words implied that he accidentally left his ID behind at his grand- mother’s in Palestine. “The office is open for new students to get IDs. I thought I should do it now instead of waiting until school starts.”
His father nodded, then glanced at the kitchen clock. “Will you be back by the start of Dhuhr?”
“I don’t think so.”
“I can call and see if the office will be open during the af- ternoon. If you wait, we can pray together, and then maybe you can take your sister. It would be good for her to see the school without so many people. It’ll help her get used to the idea of going there next year. You could introduce her to some of your friends.”
His sister already knew most of his friends, since they either lived nearby or went to mosque together. The others …
His father thought he understood what it was like for Rashid at school, but he had no idea. He didn’t listen. Or maybe Rashid’s cousins in Palestine were right, and it was Rashid’s fault he didn’t completely fit in, because he did not know who he was or what he wanted.
A few years ago, he would have brought his sister with him to school. But that was then. Now … so much had changed. He was different. His sister certainly was, and his friends … They all still enjoyed the comics and building robots, which held their friendships together. But Rashid could tell there were other things — like the facial hair that he had started growing earlier than anyone else in his class, and the adherence to his faith that prevented him from shaving it — that were creating an invisible wall between them.
He bit back the anger that seemed harder and harder to keep hidden and respectfully said, “Next time. I don’t know who will be there, and I don’t want her to have a bad experience.”
It was hard enough for Rashid to fit in, especially now. He didn’t want to bring Arissa. The hijab made her stand out even more than his untrimmed beard did. But Arissa didn’t seem to mind wearing it. More than once, she said that she liked the attention the hijab brought, and it helped her know exactly who her friends were. The hijab signaled who she was and that she was proud of her heritage. She said if people didn’t like it, they could just get out of her way.
Rashid wondered if it wasn’t easier for her because the hi- jab was so obvious and its meaning so clear. Since some of the other students chose to grow beards and mustaches, his own beard was sometimes interpreted as a personal choice instead of a mandate of faith. But it often raised questions he could see in people’s eyes that never got spoken aloud — not even by his friends. If he had been braver, he might just have sat down and talked to his friends about it and helped them understand. Instead, he let the silences get longer.
Now he felt he had only one option open to him.
“I should probably go now so I don’t have to stand in line all day,” Rashid said, feeling the weight of the bag pulling on his shoulder. “I will pray at school.” There were plenty of empty classrooms. Since it wasn’t a school day, he wouldn’t have to worry about people making fun of him washing in the bathroom first. “I’ll be home as soon as I can.”
His father smiled. “No need to rush. If you see people you know, you should spend time with them. You haven’t had the chance to see any of your friends this summer. The best life has balance. Maybe while you’re at school, you can see if there are any new clubs you’d like to join, although I still think you should take photos for the yearbook. The pictures you took this summer are very good.”
“I’ll look into it,” Rashid said, knowing he wouldn’t. He had other things to do. He just hoped his father would be able to understand.
“Good.” His father patted him on the arm and frowned. “Why are you taking your school bag?”
Rashid smiled to hide his nerves. “I’m bringing some note- books and comic books and a couple of other things to put in my locker so I don’t have to bring everything on the first day. I like having stuff to read in study hall.”
He also read when his friends were late for lunch, to avoid drawing the attention of some of the football players, who liked to harass him.
“Using extra time for study is always good.” His father pat- ted him on the arm again. “Do you have your Koran?”
“No,” Rashid said, shifting toward the door. “I’m leaving it here. I’ve got to go.”
“Wait a second.” His father disappeared out of the kitchen and returned holding a thick paperback that Rashid had no choice but to take. “You might be glad to have it at school with you.”
Rashid forced himself to thank his father, but he couldn’t meet his eyes as he walked out the door. He put the book in the bag and headed to school, still trying to decide if he was going to go through with his plan.
Was this really the time to draw the line in the sand?
He thought about the names he’d been called last year and how uncomfortable his non-Muslim friends looked when they pretended that they were all the same. That nothing had changed.
He wished nothing had changed. More than anything, he wanted to turn back the clock to before the beard and the sus- picion it brought into focus. Things had already been hard then, but they had been better.
Hitching the bag so that the weight was better distributed, Rashid frowned and started walking faster. If he was going to change things, he had to do it today. He only hoped that he had the courage to do what needed to be done.
9:58 a.m.
Z
— C h a p t e r 3 —
“You’re Kicking me out?” Sweat pricked Z’s back and forehead. He should have had two more months. His mother had said they’d agreed. And now he was getting screwed.
Z turned his back on the landlord’s son. He couldn’t look at the satisfied smile on the jerk’s pimply face without wanting to deck the guy. Z felt like hitting something — everything.
“Not exactly,” Nick said. “I mean, I know my dad and your mom talked about trying to lower the rent over the sum- mer to help you out, but my dad realized that if he changed the terms of the lease for you, he’d have to do it for everyone, and you know how that goes. It’s not like my father wants to do this.”
Sure he does, Z thought. He just doesn’t want to say he wants to boot the guy who’s just lost his mother to cancer. That would make him have to admit he’s a crappy person. But that’s what he was. All Nick’s father knew was that a guaranteed rent check was dead and buried. It was time to find a new one, and to hell with anything else. Yeah — Z knew exactly how that went.
“I’m sure this is breaking your father’s heart.” Z clenched his fists and looked out the narrow window over the sink. If he closed his eyes, he could still see his mother standing there, washing dishes … when she had been well enough to do some- thing that normal.
“Hey, don’t be like that.”
“Like what?” Z turned and stared at the guy. Nick straight- ened his shoulders but took a step back, tugging at the hem of his dirty T-shirt. “Your father made a promise to my dying mom, and two weeks after she’s gone, he sends you to tell me he was just kidding.”
Nick took another step back and swallowed hard. “He’s re- ally sorry about this.”
“Sure he is.” Everyone was sorry. Z was so tired of hearing everyone tell him how damn sorry they were. Only they weren’t. But they would be. Soon. Very soon. Z unclenched his fists and turned back toward the off-white fridge that his mother had plastered with photographs. “Tell your dad not to beat himself up about it. It’s no problem, Nicky,” he added, yanking open the fridge. The cool air washed over him, helping to tamp down the anger he wanted to let break free. Despite the open windows, the apartment was sweltering.
“Hey, kid, if it was up to me, I would let you stay. I know things are tough. After everything that happened, this really sucks, but —”
“It’s fine,” Z said, grabbing a bottle of tap water out of the fridge. It wasn’t fine. There was nothing fine about being told by a twenty-seven-year-old guy who lived in his parents’ basement and had Cheetos stains on his T-shirt that you had to clear out in three weeks. Adios, boy. Don’t let the door hit your long-haired, tattooed self on the way out.
“Look, my father would like to be able to let you stay. He really liked your mom. She was a nice lady.”
“Yeah.” Z closed the fridge and looked at the photo of his mother’s happy, healthy face pressed next to his five-year-old chocolate-coated one. “She was great.”
Was.
He swallowed hard while, behind him, Nick Mansanelli said, “I could talk to my dad about having you do some work on our cars in exchange for staying in their attic. It’s not the best place, but it would give you some time to sort out whatever it is you’re going to do next. I’m sure you could use the —”
“No need.” Z would rather sleep in a ditch than become slave labor for anyone. He uncapped the cold water and took a drink. “Tell your dad pretty soon he won’t have to worry about dealing with me ever again.”
Nick took another step back and rubbed his hand against the back of his neck as he looked around. “Can I … you know … help you do anything? Do you need some boxes or tape?” Nick turned toward the living room and nodded. “You got a lot of stuff to pack up around here. Why don’t I —”
“No.” Before Nick could step into the hallway that led to the bedrooms, Z stalked forward and blocked him. “I don’t need your help.” Z didn’t need anyone.
Nick frowned. “Are you sure? I mean, it’s no prob —”
“I’m sure,” Z said as the phone in his back pocket chimed. He pulled it out and looked down at the display.
YOU OK? DID YOU HEAR FROM YOUR UNCLE IN CALIFORNIA? I’M WORRIED ABOUT YOU. PLEASE TALK TO ME.
Kaitlin.
Of all the people who said they wanted to help, she actually did. But there wasn’t much more she could do or say. She kept telling him it was okay to be angry. That it would get better if he just gave it time. They all warned him about making deci- sions too fast. Urged him to give the relatives he barely remem- bered a chance to reach out. He had to give things time.
But time wasn’t going to change the fact that his mother was dead and that everything sucked.
Kaitlin had been there for him when everyone else had bailed. Extended family. Neighbors. Teachers. He’d tried to tell her to get lost when she followed him out of the school after he’d been in detention. But she dogged him all the way to the parking lot and insisted he give her a ride home. Her mother was a nurse at the hospital where his mother got treatments. It wasn’t as if he was going to say no, but that didn’t mean he was going to talk to her. Which was probably what Kaitlin wanted, since she had plenty to say. Kaitlin had been determined to be his friend, even when he didn’t want her to be. Even when he cut school more than he bothered to go. If it hadn’t been for her, he wasn’t sure he would have made it this far.
And now he was going to cut her loose before he dragged her down. She deserved better.
Z shoved the phone into his pocket and looked back at Nick. “Look,” Z said with a deliberate sigh. “If that’s all you came here for, I’ve got to get going. There’s a teacher I have to talk to
at school, and I don’t want to miss him.”
Nick slapped Z on the shoulder. The universal sign for I want you to think I’ve got your back, even though I plan on screw- ing you the first chance I get. “Hey, no problem. I just came by to see how you were doing and make sure you didn’t need any- thing before —”
Before you chucked me to the curb. Z again clenched his hands into fists at his side, and Nick backed up a step.
Finally, the guy turned toward the front door and said, “Hey, make sure to take care of yourself. And give them hell at that school. I never liked it much anyway.”
At last, one thing they could agree on.
Z chugged the water, then headed down the hall toward his room to grab his father’s old army duffle and the letter that had arrived last week. His cell phone chimed as he was slinging the bag onto his shoulders, but he ignored it. He had things to do.
In the kitchen, he grabbed the picture of him and Mom and slid it next to his phone. He then walked out of the apartment. No need to lock the door. If someone wanted to clear the rest out, let them. He was going to school, and he wasn’t coming back.
***
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