#im living a new life yall! like doing the free thing

[tbh-entp]

Guys, I'm out here searching for my Gomez Addams. Are there any out there?

[bananonbinary]

Tumblr's debt is a problem of their own creation. The app is buggy, the userbase is flooded with porn bots, nazis roam free, hate speech roams free, trans women have sfw content marked mature, art and posts are stolen for promotion, features are forced down our throats, ads are malicious and often gross or triggering and giving them money will not stop this.

If we give tumblr money they're not going to get rid of Tumblr live or restore the nsfw or remove ads or whatever you think they're going to do, they're going to KEEP DOING THE SAME THING except with more money to blow. Tumblr is a CORPORATION, they can get a government bailout like any other corporate entity can, and while people are throwing money at a dumbass corporation there are people begging to get bills paid and for food and other necessities.

Please open your eyes to the reality of the situation, its not just some guy anymore, David Karp is long gone its a soulless conglomerate now and they do not need our pity

a lot of yall seem to think that i want to like, bake sale save the baseball team. that's not what this is about. i don't think we need to "fix tumblr's debt," i think we need to make the website profitable (and the debt shows it isnt, altho from what i can gather a better word is "deficit" rather than "debt," ie, they are losing that much more money than they take in annually), because as it stands tumblr has no reason whatsoever to want to keep the current user base around. it's trying to attract a different userbase, because yall are PROUD of the fact that tumblr is a failing website and you dont want to pay them. you're loitering inside a store and acting surprised when the store wants you gone. of COURSE they're constantly introducing new features and not listening to what the users want, they don't want you here.

it's not a protest, it's not an attempt to buy good will, it's a simple business transaction: i spend a lot of time here, and i would like to keep spending a lot of time here. so i will buy my shitty internet crab, and tell my fellow loiterers that they can as well if they want. if you dont want to do that, you literally don't have to, but you can't tell me not to.

you people are all like "ohh tumblr isnt your friend dont give it money" but like. yeah. its not my friend. i would like to pay it for a service it provides, instead of expecting it to continue to provide that service out of the goodness of its non-existant heart. i dont think im the one with the parasocial relationship here.

also:

dont tell me to help a poor people. i am a poor people. i am allowed to spend THREE DOLLARS on something i like for myself, and not give literally every single dollar i have to charity and mutual aid. you have NO IDEA how much or if i do for other people, and you won't, because you aren't owed every detail of my life like that. people are allowed to have things they want for no other reason than they want them sometimes.

[austinsastrology8991]

Uranus and why your life is a ShiT ShoW > URANUS IN Yer HOUSe <

Uranus in the FIrst - You are the most unpredictable little fuck-head that everyone loves. They always change > there clothes, there direction in life > their hair colour. they thrive in change unless you try to change them, they are the ones changing and dont you dare change them, thats all they have left ;( Uranus in the Second. - Crazy self esteem issues. these people think they are the greatest then the worst person, also same applies to their income because they dont think they are worth much, until they invest into bitcoin and think they will be the next warren buffet. honestly the only thing stable about you is the perception of your value changing. But they love change, something to look forward to i guess Uranus in the Third your brain and communication skills are kinda fucky you know that dont you. you always know how to say something shocking, and extremely good at changing the subject of a conversation, like you dont have to say much, but what you do say just made everyone go huh what the fuck you say? its amusing tho we appreciate you Uranus in the F4urth - Emotionally avoidant, dependent, and attached personalities. They cant make their mind up on how they feel, so they experiemnt with every feeling to see if they vibe with that. mum was probably very unpredictable, and they wanna be like her. they just trying their best to forgive her <3 Uranus in the Fifth - Okay this one is the genius. This one people actually think your onto something when your showing off because you break free of every social convention, and archetype, but in the most perfect way. everyone believes your special, and you can change the vibe of a room like dat Uranus in the Sixth - what a fkn mess your life is. I had this one friend who would have 10 different drinks in his room and he would drink each one sparingly (they were all warm too). he had some serious health issues, and lets not get into his mental health okay. but yall have crazy lives and you make it that way Uranus in the Seventh - Im not a player i just fuck a lot. they choose their partners based off how interesting they are, if you can satiate their curiosity you got em. but if your boring or not worth figuring out yeah g-bye. also they just come off strange so everyone is extremely curious. they get projected on a lot but they dont mind its a good way to find out something interesting lol Uranus in the Eighth - Freaks who will do anything.... and im not just talking about sex, if they want something they'll find any way to get it. masters of attainment, even if its probably not healthy for them, they don't care if they want it they get it. then the object of their fixation changes as soon as they do get it. they are like obsessed with 'progress' but its hard to call it that sometimes Uranus in the Ninth - Clever minds who are always skipping segments of a speech, or a video to find the juicy parts. They have very quick minds that are so easily bored, but if you talk to them, they'll never not have something interesting to talk about. also when change does occur its a LOt Uranus in the Tenth - why are yalll like this. just baffling people like they know how to make an entrance and when everyone starts loooking at them, they decide to make fun of everyone by doing something a lil bit too shocking, almosst making fun of you for looking at them. gets off on shocking ya Uranus in the Eleventh - They wanna change the world, but not in a way that is practical. until it is. They have a million friends because they have a knack for understanding people, but when you ask what they want or what scares them. it just makes you rethink why your even friends with them in the first place. 12 - your crazy. and its endearing but everyone is this close to calling the cops on you or locking you up in a psyche ward. maybe tone down your retardation. we all got something going on but you take it to a whole new level.

[celestialtarot11]

Career Guidance + Messages 💼🥂🌃

Hi friends! Welcome to another PAC post 💌💖 thank you all for supporting me! We’re going to be getting you some career advice + messages regarding that! Happy picking ✨🌹

Pile 1: 9 of pentacles • The Tower • King Of Swords

Hi there pile 1’s! 💗🤗 Welcome to your reading. For some of ya’ll, maybe you received a short notice you were fired? Or for someone tried to either gossip about you, or fire you. Or cause some sort of situation at work where your reputation could’ve been damaged. Im sorry if that did happen pile 1’s, I do see you’re caring for yourself and currently living in your own world 💅🏻 as you should! If you got fired spirit is saying you didn’t deserve that, and you may actually have a chance to get a better job, a job you actually love and feel comfortable with. Im getting this massive download that some of ya’ll were waiting for someone or a group of people to receive their karma? They may have done you dirty in the past and now you’ve seen them receive it. I feel like spirit is saying continue caring for yourself, and if you’ve been losing sleep over finding another job, attract that opportunity 💗 spirit will make it known to you. You will rebuild after a loss or stagnation in your career and your reputation will improve. There is some sort of truth that this person or group hid that’ll bite them in the ass is what I heard 👀 pile 1’s, I hope this resonated for you. And I hope you can move on and do whats best for you to move forward in peace and love 🤍

Pile 2: King of Pentacles • Ace of wands • 5 of wands

Hi there pile 2’s! Welcome to your reading 💗🤗 I see you are financially stable or are reaching a point of stability and I heard this was a long time coming! You’ve been working your butt off is also what I heard, and you’ve faced many days and nights with conflict, issues and petty drama. Spirit is saying things will solidify and take a more consistent approach in your career, and your passion for life and making money will return. Some of ya’ll may actually enjoy the rush, you feel motivated and inspired to take action and maybe your next job/career will require you to be physically active. Or maybe it already does. But spirit is saying you may receive a bonus or promotion soon for your hard work! You will be recognized! 💗 I also see a lot of other people trying to one up you, so maybe this was an issue you faced in your career. People may have tried to compete against you and show off, but at the end you’ll be receiving a beautiful reward with recognition 🤍 and your own money is a sign of how much you’ve worked too so be proud! Spirit is very proud of you 🤗 make sure to rest and not burn yourself out as well, if you’ve been working a lot pile 2’s. Thank you for reading & please feel free to comment like or reblog! Have a great one 💗

Pile 3: 4 of pentacles • Page of cups • 3 of cups

Hi there pile 3’s! 🤗 welcome! I see for a while ya’ll have been saving up and now have an opportunity to spend on a night out 👀 you may get to know your coworkers a lot more and make friends! I see its a time for celebration too, so maybe you hit your goal amount either now, or in the future and you’ll want to celebrate with the people around you 💗 wonderful job pile 3’s! There may be a party at work or around you. For guidance, I feel that its important to get out there and get to know who is around you and what, especially if you’ve been focused on work for a while. Emotionally it’ll help you feel less pressured and more comfortable. I think you are the pile to stay alone and reserved, and thats understandable! So it may take some time for you to open up but I see plenty opportunities to get to know coworkers 🤗 you may also have a new coworker joining in! Someone you’ll get along greatly with and have fun with at work. I also feel some of yall have been saving up to be able to buy your sibling or friend a beautiful gift and now you can surprise them! I love this and I think they’ll love the gift, especially since its from you 🤍 for some of yall specifically that’ll resonate. Overall, work will improve and become fun if things have been stagnant or slow! Enjoy pile 3’s and please feel free to comment, reblog and like 💗

Pile 4: The Lovers • Ace of pentacles • 6 of cups

Hi there pile 4’s! 🤗 honestly this is such a sweet but hot and heavy energy 👀 I heard you’ll possibly be partnering up with someone of your dreams… romantically speaking. They may come in the form of a coworker, partner of some kind. But they will have lots of resources, money and resources to help you with any project, or anything! This could be a romantic opportunity as well, and a chance to bond with someone at work. They’ll help you financially and in some other ways…👀 is what I heard. I also heard you’re getting all in one 😂 whoever this person is, they’re cheeky and mischievous, but hella charming. And very smart. You’ll be getting a bonus or promotion soon! And will approach financial stability in the future. I see lots of cute moments and overall you’ll be enjoying your time at work. You’ll be feeling lighter, joyful, happy and expressive with the people around you. You’ll be feeling connected to what it is you do! This person could also show you another job opportunity too, so maybe some of yall are unhappy with your current job and this person comes in and gives you another reason to like them 😂 (another job) omg they’re so smooth and quick with it! Major flirt. Enjoy pile 4’s 👀 feel free to comment, like and reblog 💅🏻🤍

Thank ya’ll for reading! Feel free to like comment and reblog 🌟💗 thank ya’ll for the support! This was so much fun to do.

Paid Readings 🌟🤍

[ieatangstforbreakfast]

Pairing ೃ⁀➷ 𝐄𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐡 𝟒𝟐! 𝐌𝐢𝐥𝐞𝐬 𝐌𝐨𝐫𝐚𝐥𝐞𝐬 x Fem! Reader

Summary ೃ⁀➷ Lovers have secrets of their own, no matter how much they come to trust each other, whether it be a past mistake or an unspoken trauma. For you and Miles, however, your secrets came in the form of hidden identities— one being a masked vigilante, and the other a mastermind.

Genre ೃ⁀➷ Forbidden love, mutual pining, angst♡

Tags ೃ⁀➷ Both are artists, reader is from a very wealthy family, both are living double lives, underaged smoking, reader is female and uses she/her pronouns, forbidden love (ish?), swearing, daddy issues, mommy issues, reader is unhinged, both are mentally unstable, lots of flirting.

Author's Note ೃ⁀➷ SUPEERR sorry for the late update! i went through a hellish week but I really wanted to go on with the story 😭 i wrote down the setting so the ending’s kinda set in stone, so buckle your seatbelts and prepare yourself for a ride.

Tag list ೃ⁀➷ @sakura-onesan @coffeeandtealol @luvjunie @noetophat @proudgojofucker [CAN THE OTHERS REDO THEIR NAMES I CANT FIND YALLS ACCOUNTS IM SCARED OF TAGGING THE WRONG PEOPLE IM SO SO SORRY IM NEW TO THIS]

⚠️ 𝐓𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ⚠️ PLOTTTTT. This chapter onward will mark the beginning of heavy themes. There will be mentions of death, manipulation, discussion of political issues, and profane language. Discretion is advised.

FIC MASTERLIST

Previous chapter || Next chapter

And when the rain stopped, you two were back to the same scene, but with your hand on his sleeve.

You and Miles walked down the same Brooklyn road, your fingers pinching the corner of his jacket while he led your bike on with his free hand. Your shoes crunched against the autumn leaves, each step like a snapping twig, marking your each step.

Even at its darkest, Brooklyn never slept along with its sisters. The bright windows, the music playing from the underground bars, and the other couples maneuvering through the night like mice on the run. Still, everything seemed lazier and slower— and you didn’t know if it was just Miles or the atmosphere in general. Miles rambled on and on about his childhood show, going on about how his seven-year-old-self thought olives would be the greatest thing to snack on after seeing Jerry pine after it so much, and how after plopping it into his mouth changed the entire course of his life.

“Ever since then, I never ate another goddamn olive for the rest of my damn life.”

You laugh at his dramatics, at the way he shakes his head, but despite the dramatic way he moved, Miles never shook the arm your hand was clinging onto— you needed it more than his story-telling.

“I mean, olives do look like grapes, so I kinda understand the confusion.”

“That’s the biggest foul, really: that olives look like grapes.”

“It is kinda one hell of a foul. Mine’s the fact that raisins also look like grapes.”

And the image pops in his mind like a bubble. “… Jesus. Why the hell does everything look like grapes?”

“Ionno.” You shrug. “Same thing can be said about your head, though.”

He feigns offense, parting his mouth into an ‘o’ while leaning back. “Stop projecting your grapefruit-lookin’ ass.” Miles shoots back, earning a sharp swat from you. “Fucker, you’re the one built like a bamboo shoot.”

"You're the one talkin taller than your own height, you lil, dehydrated, un-sunned potted plant lookin' ass."

You gawk at the full-blown insult, earning nothing but a guffaw from Miles who shook his head.

"I'm just kidding, my girl, m'just kidding." He swiftly pulls you closer, pulling you in with his hand over your shoulders. "You know I'm just playin' with you, ma, you're the prettiest in my eyes." The way he sweetly coos tugs at your heartstrings, your tiny giggles muffled while he sways you around.

"Apology accepted," You snicker. "Riley Freeman.”

“… Future child bride.”

“Future enemy of the state.”

“Thas why you daddy don’t want’chu.”

“At least I got a daddy.”

And the squabble just went on and on.

Tiny jabs of flirting disguised as well-crafted insults, and subtle touches concealed as playful punches. The two of you were crazy in the sort of way that only the two of you can drive each other insane.

Ironically, you loved these sorts of moments with him— just two people simpering down the streets in good ol' New York. But in the back of your mind, there was still that lingering guilt that endlessly knocked against your psyche, begging you to tell the truth.

But the truth wasn’t the hotel, or the life you were living. The truth was a decaying matter locked in a finely decorated cage, where everyone could smell the stench, but they instead choose to ignore it all for the sake of preserving peace.

Miles would never do that. He wouldn’t turn around and shrug his shoulders just for the sake of preserving whatever peace or comfort New York had— he would absolutely fucking riot to disturb the comfortable.

But the thing was, all you had left was that peace, and the slightest piece of your dignity scrapped up like leftovers of a meal.

“Hey, ma.” Miles snaps you out of your thoughts, earning nothing but a small hum from you.

“… Do you know anythin ‘bout about parallel universes?”

You pause for a moment, processing that question like a printer— eyes slowly traveling to meet his as if to confirm if what you heard was correct. Miles shifts a bit, tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear.

“.. What?” You airily query, brows knitted together in confusion. He laughs at the way your mouth hung like a lost toddler. “Parallel universes? Ionno, I just heard ‘bout it from my dorm mate.” His fingers reach to scratch the nape of his neck. “Something ‘bout there being another version of us in another universe n shit like that— slight changes, maybe?”

“.. I’ve heard about it from my Physics professor, but I never really delved much into it.”

“Well, I’ve been thinkin a lot ‘bout it.”

Your nose scrunches. “But.. Why though?”

“Well,” The two of you start walking again, with the pace much slower. “It made me wonder if there’s another us in another universe.. Doin’ shit like this.” His hand gestured at the both of you, soon dropping by your side. “You n me, just walking and talking. I wonder if we also like each other in another universe.”

It sounded cheesy. Being lovers in more than one world.

But you liked the sound of it. Lovers.

“I probably hate you in every other universe.” You teasingly laughed while lightly pushing him away.

“Well, maybe there’s somethin’ special ‘bout me in this universe that made you fall for me.” He smoothly chimed, leaning a bit closer. You try to hold back a smile, but it still seeped in the corners of your lips.

“Ionno ‘bout that.”

His grin only widens. “You know you love me, ma.”

You stare a long stare.

I do.

“Shut up.” You mumble, pacing faster when Miles reaches out to hold your hand. “Maaaaaaaa.”

“What do you want, Miles?”

And he looks at you with those eyes of his. The kind that dragged you into this whole mess, the kind that made you crawling back in four days. Subtly, he leans down to your level, eyes in line with your own. Only then, so gently, he presses his lips against yours for a second.

"I wonder if that happens in every other universe too?"

You blink at the act, somewhat speechless.

“I’d be missin out on a lot if I don’t get to kiss you like this in every universe.”

You try to snap back at him, but you could no longer find anymore ammo to fire. Miles sets your brother’s bike aside, kicking the stand down just to take both of your hands— placing them over his shoulders.

"How about you? What do you think?" He suddenly asks. "Who would we be to each other in another world?"

There were a million thoughts blundering your mind, a sort of disarray you weren't used to— the thing was, you didn’t even know who the two of you were supposed to be to each other in this world. Everything seemed all blurry in the future, and you couldn’t even think of one for yourself.

But for once, you couldn’t help but think of what could be.

“Would you rather hear me romanticize, or would you rather hear me be realistic?” You asked of him.

Miles took a moment to think. “I think it’d be nice to hear what’chu think is romantic.”

You leaned in a bit towards his side. “You really think so? What if I end up soundin’ childish?”

Placing a gentle hand over your arm, he simply replied. “You’re young, ma. It’s okay to be a child.”

Turning more towards him, you begin to flit your fingers up toward his jaw. “Then…” Your eyes trailed away from his. “In another universe, we’re just us.” You mumble, your fingers tickling at the back of his neck.

“In another universe, I’ll be doing painting commissions at random shops to save up for Christmas. I’ll be working at that café we saw. You’ll be there, and we’ll meet up and I’ll be the one to ask for your number.” Your hand runs down his sleeve just to intertwine your fingers with his.

“What do you mean you? You can’t do nuthin, I’ll be the one asking for your number.”

Your gaze narrows. “It’s another world, Miles. We ain’t entirely sure if we’re going to be the same people.”

“You’ve got a point,” He piques. “But—“

“Let me finish.” You sigh, and immediately, he snaps his jaw shut. “… I don’t have to escape every night just to see you, nor do we have to meet exclusively every Friday and Saturday. We’ll see each other everyday, and you’ll go to my house— and my mom will make us food while going on and on about us dating, and my dad’s going to scold me to keep the door open just so he can keep an eye out on you.”

Suddenly, all the fantasies you’ve mentally illustrated for yourself every night to dwell upon came running out of your mouth.

“Maybe, I’ll have a few childhood scars, and I’ll paint my nails any color I like— I’ll get a new set monthly, and I’ll let you choose the color. We’ll walk to school together, and I’ll never miss any of your basketball games…. We’ll just be,”

Normal.

“Us.”

Realizing your rambling, you shift away a bit, somewhat embarrassed of all the stuff you’d blurted out. It’s like you could sense him trying to piece together what you’d just said. With a cautious hand, he wraps it around your waist before nuzzling his head into your hair.

"What's stopping us from being like that in this world too?"

You hold onto him a little tighter.

“… It’s getting colder these days, huh?”

Noticing your hesitance to break open, Miles decides to simply play along for now. “Yeah, it’s getting colder, ma, so you,” He softly pulls away, placing both of his hands over your cheeks. “You should start taking care of yourself or else you might start a whole new bubonic plague.”

“Why the fuck do you keep linking that to me?”

“Cause you’re a host of viral plague.”

“I’m not even sickly, damn it.” You say, while feeling an itch in your nose. “You’re just making shit up at thi— hACHOO!” You sneeze down to the ground, narrowly missing your sleeve. Miles takes a step back, shaking his head with a smile on his lips.

“… Maybe I should be a plague doctor for halloween, and you should be a medieval patient dying of the bubonic plague.”

He pictures you with comically large bags beneath your eyes, frail lips, and a white dress with its frock lost in the wind— and he’ll stand beside you, with the large black beak of the mask poking at your hair, with a large black cape flying behind his back.

“… Isn’t halloween this Saturday?” You think back with a frown. “I haven’t celebrated that in a long, long time.”

That was a lie. You’ve never celebrated halloween before.

“Huh?” He snaps in shock. “You don’t celebrate halloween?”

He watches you shrug. “It’s a kid’s thing.” Was what your Father always told you, in the same tone you were currently speaking.

“Awe man,” Miles mumbles. “… I thought you got the hint that we’re going trick or treating for our date.”

“Trick or treating?” That too, you also haven’t done. “I-Isn’t it dangerous? My mother said people would poison the candy and plant shit inside the chocolates.”

“What?” At that point, Miles was piecing together an image of your family with each passing story. “That almost never happens— who can afford poisoning children in this economy? Shit, might as well just use it on yourself with all the bills you have to pay.”

And there it goes again. The economy.

And it strikes you a bit. That guilt of being brought up pristinely uncomplicated. Privileged, as most would call it. Your problems were rather personal, never financial. Growing up, you’d been living lavishly in the comforts of your manor, never having to worry about tomorrow or next month or next year.

And, admittedly, it was unfair.

“… Miles, can I, um, discuss something with you?” You silently query, unconsciously matching your pace along with his. Miles only hums.

“Look. I don’t mean to get political, and I don’t want to sound privileged— but honestly speaking, I kinda am, and I can definitely recognize it.” You confess. “I wasn’t.. Raised in a home where we had to be conscious about money. My parents are well-off, in the way I’m sheltered as hell, but I’m not blind. I can see the city crumbling apart. My brother says that it’s all because people don’t wanna work anymore, and I never understood why.”

He raised his brows. “That’s… Well, I’m not gonna judge your brother from that alone,” Miles states, keeping in mind that he still wants to appeal to your family. “But honestly, that whole view is kinda whack. Listen, nena,” He takes a deep breath. “Imagine working your ass off nine to five— and you’re still getting paid the minimum wage. Rent is due, groceries are expensive, and you’re tired as hell, but it’s all not enough. You can’t even spend any of the money on yourself.”

“Well,” You pique. “… My father said that if the people would just stop buying irrelevant things and save up, they’d be able to live.”

Miles grimaces. “Do only the rich deserve happiness?”

Your head tilts. “Don’t they say that money can’t buy you happiness?”

He shook his head. “They say that because they’ve got the money.”

He spots the confused look on your face. Relatively, he takes your hand and further conveys. “Well, as you said, it’s a capitalist world. Only the wealthy say that because they don’t know what it’s like to be down here,” His hand points below. “In the slums, starving to damn death. Money can fix that shit. Money can fix all this, but they choose not to.”

Your mouth hung open.

“… I never thought of it that way.”

“Mhm.”

“My whole life, my parents have always chalked it up to hard work— but the city never sleeps, so it’s impossible that nobody here ain’t doing nothing.”

And it all processes through you. “Huh, it’s all.. New to me.” Naturally, your hand drags up to pluck the skin off your lips. “I never delved into that sort of issue before. My parents have always been kind of.. Sort of,”

“.. Elitist?”

“I was going to say stuck-up, but that makes so much more sense.”

“Yeah, I’m kinda seein’ it, not gonna lie.” His clicks his tongue. “Look, ion really talk ‘bout this sort of thing much, but I like discussing these sorts of things with you— ‘cuz it’s interesting seeing how open you are to these kinds of topics, even if you were raised like that.”

You turn your head to look at Miles, and your brow twitches ever so slightly at the pang of anxiety drumming at your chest.

“We’re… Really the opposites of each other, huh?”

He hums. “But in a way, we’re still kinda similar.”

“How so?” You ask, a bit dubious of the remark. You were all this, and he was all that. You doubted any sort of similarities you two had, but Miles holds your shaking hand.

“If you and I were solely made to be opposites, we’d be nemeses by now.”

And you ponder.

How long would it take before you start hating me?

How long would it take before I stop seeing that loving gaze of yours?

How long would it take before you discover the truth?

From afar, you could already spot the Gristedes building, as though it were the portal parting your world from his. You eventually take the bike back to yourself, dragging it by the handles. As the edge of the block materializes, you turn to look at the boy behind you.

“I’m gonna have to go ride back now.”

And when he draws closer, a flick of your mind takes the image of Miles’ exhausted face, assuming it’d be similar to what he’d look like once he recognizes the truth about you. You wonder if he feels it too— this strange air between the both of you, going past tension, and delving into something deeper and darker.

You’re so unsure. So afraid of how fragile this entire thing was.

“Ain’t I getting a kiss, nena?”

“You’re so needy.” You huff, opening your arms anyway. “If you get the bubonic plague, you’re gon’ be the one complaining all about it.”

“Yeah, yeah, nena, whatever you say— just gimme my kiss.”

And he penguin walks his way to you, leaning down like a kid in search of candy. Miles steps into your view, following wherever you turned— his hands making their own journey across your waistline. Your palms snake up his shoulders, heels faltering backward when he presses you up against a brick wall. Your hands fall down to grip his arms instead, head tilting ever so slightly before taking his lips.

He takes you like you were his favorite drink, digging his fingers into the side of your waist— his body melting like ice on a summer day. With his hand, he angles your chin much higher, while yours trail up his chest, parting your lips to gasp for air, only for Miles to steal it away from you.

And when you part, you’re left a heaving mess.

“Trick or treating on Saturday?” He asks again. “Please?”

“… I—“

“I’ll take a bite of every candy you’ll get just to make sure it ain’t poisoned.”

You laugh at his remark.

“Fine.”

It was strange, almost unfamiliar to you, to meet the gate of the manor at this time of night.

It had you questioning your choices, your rationality, and the soundness of your mind. Your mind wasn’t entirely sound to begin with, fortunately for you Miles liked that about you.

After bribing the security, tossing Antonne’s bike to the side, and creeping into the damn place, suddenly, you’re thrust back into the stillness of your family’s generational household.

The marble tiles, the limestone brick walls, and the grandeur steps that parted by the center were all normalcy to you— in spite of how you’d always deemed your family as ‘capable’ to Miles.

Instead of childhood photos and potted plants, you were greeted by the sight of marvelously carved statues and antique paintings. Rather than a home, it felt more like a museum to you— but in a way, it was also your fault for keeping everything too clean.

It’s unfair.

One day you’ll leave this very house and leave it under the care of Antonne who hardly bore any interest for managing things. Despite the way you’ve learned to force yourself to take interest in numerous fields of whatever-the-fuck, this manor was something you treasured along with the hotel. Your father was well aware of your passion, your skills in tidiness, and that was the reason why he appointed you as Antonne’s proxy initially, but you were greedy for more.

You were a little too greedy to want Miles and the life you’d desired for the longest time. You didn’t know what the future was like, and you’ve grown too sick of having everyone else decide your own future for you. This life of infinite spending and glamour was the only life you’d ever known, and you weren’t prepared to abandon it all. As your mother said, no one’s privileged enough to be born as wealthy as you, and you’d likely carry that sort of financial ignorant bliss to the grave.

But Miles didn’t have that.

His family didn’t have generational heirlooms worth thousands of dollars, nor did they have antique paintings bought from highly private auctions. His home only had two bedrooms, unlike your own which housed tens of them.

You and him were astronomically different in more ways than one.

One of these days, those differences might end up either empowering or deadly to one of you.

Step. Step. Step.

As you treaded up the staircase, your hand jolts away from the icy ivory-pillared railings, cussing a subtle “Fuck,” as you went on. In the dead of the night, the halls appeared eerier and darker— as though you could see your own ancestors walking past the red carpets with their frilly gowns and downcast looks of disappointment. Like you could see them shaking their heads just after seeing you there, wearing Miles’ hoodie.

A scandal capable of ruining the family name. As if Antonne wasn’t enough, you ended up falling for a boy you’d likely run away with had you ever gotten the chance.

Elopement. Dramatically cliché, and somehow it still exists in the twenty-first century— for the star-crossed lovers and the filthy rich. Or maybe you just have really bad taste in men… Or parents! Pick a struggle.

You carried your shoes along with your guilt while trudging down the corridor, knowing you’ll likely have to have someone secretive clean the mess up for you. Antonne’s room was in a separate hall, with Malachi’s closer to your own. Even then, like a mouse, you scurry in silence just so you wouldn’t get caught. When you finally reach your door, a thousand burdens escape from your shoulders, only to hear a faint click when you try to twist the handle.

Click. Click. Click. Click.

“Why won’t it fucking open?” You whisper to yourself. A few more Click Click Click Click Click’s and you manage to finally recognize that you’ve been locked out of your own damn room. You search through your clothes to find the key, only to realize that it’d been in the pockets of the hoodie you’ve left at Miles’ place. In your anxiety, you pull on the edge of your hair, cursing a million words.

I can’t wake up Malachi.

You place your hand over your mouth.

Your breaths begin to stagger, your exhaustion taking hold of you. You tug at your hair a little harder, as though your current goal was to rip your scalp out— and it hurt, it hurt like absolute hell, but nothing was up to par with the pain brought to you by your own mean mind.

But you think, and you think.

Then you lean back, take a breath, and sigh.

And the next thing you know, you’re stabbing through the lock with a knife.

Well, it was less of a stab, more like a saw to jam the bolt. It took a few several tries, but it did manage to unlock after a snap. You heave a sigh of relief, heading right in before gently closing it shut. Immediately off to rest your head against the flat of your door as a sort of celebration for your success.

“… Where have you been?”

You celebrated a little too soon, unfortunately.

Antonne stared at you from the sill of one of your opened windows, the gleam of the new dawn gleaming in pink and blue behind him, casting a long shadow that trailed past your fluffy carpet and dawned over your darkened face. Ever so slowly, he plucks the dying cigarette from his teeth, the intoxicating scent tugging at your nostrils. For once, Antonne’s taken you aback after the longest while. He looks similarly exhausted, with his unbuttoned dress shirt and disheveled hair, while also reasonably confused by your current appearance.

“I was out.” You shallowly answer, as if it weren’t too obvious. Antonne furrows his brows, only heightening the permanent arch he already endowed. At the sound of your words, he clicks his tongue and flicks the cigarette out the window.

“Was it that boy again?” He speaks a baritone lower, like something being dragged through gravel. His shoulders heightened as he rested his palms above the sill. You sense a sort of imposing façade.

“… Miles Morales?”

Your eyes flit open, ventriloquist-esque. Like a dummy brought to life to perform for the circus. At that moment, the two of you siblings began to notice the semblances mirroring your parents’ ways; the younger sister who weaponizes her own ignorance like her father, and the older brother who, like a dog, barks endlessly like their mother. Your body leans against the handle, placing all your weight down a single foot while preparing yourself for whatever Antonne’s spared to speak.

“… Fifteen years old, lives with his single mother, Rio Morales, who’s a nurse at Langone. He’s close with his uncle, Aaron Davis, and he keeps steady high marks at Visions Academy... And yet,” His gaze narrows distastefully. “Despite going to such an elite school, he continues on to live a shady life, having at least once or twice participated in vandalism, destruction of private property, and simple assault.”

Antonne eyes your reaction, but you only shrug.

“Tell me something I don’t know.”

He clears his throat.

“His father, Jefferson Davis, momentarily worked for father and applied for security three years ago.“ Antonne takes a step forward, the shadow over his face growing darker. “And on the opening night of Aureum, he signed up to take a shift at the evening party.”

Antonne stood eerily, and so did you. The tension a blur, cuttable with a single slice from the knife hidden behind you.

“Did you know about that too?”

“... What are you insinuating?”

Antonne yells out your name in a bellow, but you don’t flinch. Like a deer, round and wide, your eyes were hauntingly frozen, scrutinizing the way he heaved. He struggled to search for the words to describe you— crass, cruel, wicked, bitch. And it only mulled him downer seeing you look guiltless. With his hand, he drags you by the collar.

“You’re wearing the hoodie of a boy whose father died in the tragedy you’re fucking covering up.”

ＣＬＩＣＫ.

+17479256640 sent a picture || Just now

Aaron peers at the message at his phone, swiping it upwards, thinking it must’ve been some sort of scam or bot. He chugs down the final sip of his coffee, settling by the couch with a disgruntled moan. He rests his head by the armrest, placing his mug down by the table before him. As he stretches the ache off his limbs, another chime goes off from his phone.

He lazily plucks it from his side, wincing as the bright screen flashed him.

+17479256640 || Just now

This is your nephew, right?

ＣＬＩＣＫ.

“Shh." You pull a finger over your lips, hushing him as though he were a child. Your other hand drafts away from the lock, and you toss the knife to the side. The loud, clacking way it fell made Antonne jump. And he sees you, and the way your lips curled into this amused smile.

At that smile alone, he falters, remembering so suddenly every detail about the mother you two shared. Every strand of her beautiful hair which you endowed, the darkening of her gaze when she was having fun, and the deriding way she looked at the people she deemed inferior.

I don’t need a knife to kill you, Antonne.

That look you had, a smile which he now recognized as a sneer, was what true hatred was.

“Antonne, maybe you’re forgetting that I’m not covering up just any fuck up, I’m covering up your fuck up.”

And when you took a single step forward, all of what was left of Antonne’s confidence crumbled.

“The building collapsed because you forced the workers to rush the process of the construction— and when the media got a hold of what was happening, you ran to Switzerland with Richard just to avoid the consequences, and all of who dealt with everything was me.” You dug an accusing finger into his shoulder. “I took care of everything in your place, and I sacrificed so much for it. But when you realized how I might take over your spot in the hotel, you came back after three whole years— going through every detail of me that you could find as a weakness. Well, let me tell you one thing, my dearest brother,”

You whisper over to his ear. “You can’t beat me at a game you’ve never fucking played before.”

ＣＬＩＣＫ.

“What the fuck?”

Aaron sits right back up, clutching his phone with strength he never thought he had. Swiftly, he presses the notification— greeted with a photo of Miles and some girl walking down the streets with their hands clasped together. When the text bubble reappears, another photo surfaces with the girl’s face being much clearer. A sense of familiarity strikes him, and he couldn’t quite place what it was.

He zooms into the picture, fingers grasping the bottom of his chin while scourging through his memories.

His eyes trace the details of your hair, every curve and curl— your eyes, downcast and very attentive of Miles’ presence. So aware of him, it’s as though he was all that was left in the world. And he looked at you the same way. For a moment, it was like witnessing Rio and Jeff once more, with those gazes smiles.

‘Pretty. The kind of pretty who knows what she wants, and she can use her own face to get it. When you say something stupid, she’ll let you know that what you said was stupid with just her eyes alone— and it’ll shut me up, and I love it.’

Those were Miles’ exact words. For the last two months, you were all he ever really talked about. Seeing you now, Aaron couldn’t help but raise his brows at the sight of your hand intertwined with his nephew’s. He ought to be lying if he ever said that Miles was exaggerating— you were definitely a looker. And that was what unsettled him the most. He had this gut feeling he couldn’t shake, a burden gnawing at his stomach.

He soon drags his thumbs across the keyboard, typing out immediately.

Aaron Davis || Just now

who’s this?

ＣＬＩＣＫ.

“… What’s happened to you?”

It was genuine. And it wasn’t just curiosity, Antonne was seriously wondering with worry.

“What have you done to the sister I grew up with?”

The sister he grew up with?

Antonne could still remember, every aspect and smile you bore three years ago. And he remembered as though it’d all disappeared just yesterday. You were a smiley little girl— always a little too smart for her own good, and always a little too cheeky. But you were shy, and often kept to yourself. Even during those days, you often hid yourself in the shadows, crawling into the corner of every room you entered with a book in your hand.

He recognized you then. Now you were a complete stranger.

Your hand drops, and you shove your shoulder against Antonne’s. “Grew up with? You never grew up.” You trudge towards the window, closing it shut as soon as you got to the handle. “Meanwhile, I had to be an adult as soon as possible because if not me, then who? Mom’s not here, Dad’s a mess, Malachi’s ten years old, Montrell’s in London, and you ran away.” Your body sinks down to the floor. “When I’m with Miles, I feel… Sixteen, like how I should be.”

“… But if you’d just give me the job—“

“I’m not giving you shit.” You spat. “Not yet, at least, stop fucking rushing.”

Antonne stood, watching you sit by the sill, hand over your nightstand to reach out for your vape.

And the way it exits, so lividly and hatefully, like how mother would smoke after every silent dinner.

You were everything like her.

No matter how much you tried to erase yourself from your mother’s legacy, it didn’t help that you were the spitting image of her.

Even in the way you struggled, you were still your mother’s daughter.

“You.. Remind me of...” Mother. The comment slips after seeing her image overlap with your silhouette. You already knew the ending of the sentence as soon as it exited his lips. As the smoke trickles past your teeth, you look up.

“… You want me to do what she would’ve done?”

The way the moonlight pooled before you reminded him of how the glass shards glimmered around your mother after she’d wrecked her own room.

“You’re already doing what she did,” He murmurs. “Doing stupid shit for stupid ideals.”

You grab whatever you can off of the nightstand, throwing it right at Antonne who steps back from the impact of the book. As you heave, he stared hauntingly.

“You think you’re the only one trying so hard in life? I’m also doing my fucking best. You’re basing me off of a mistake I did when I was seventeen.” He took a step forward. “You weren’t the only one forced into adulthood. Instead of playing soccer and going out on first dates, dad made me run a hotel. Sure! I didn’t do half as great as you’re fucking doing, but once you fuck up, dad’s going to abandon you too.”

“I know that.” You shakily admit. “I know that no matter what I fucking do, the hotel’s going to end up in your hands, and all I’ve got is a shitty arranged marriage bound to go down the drain and a few many nights with too much wine and regrets ahead of me.” You rub your hands together for the sake of warmth, your voice growing shakier as it settles to break.

“But what I want, what I really want— I just want dad to look at me and think, ‘oh, maybe she can take hold at least a part of the conglomerate!’ instead of selling me off!”

It’s as though the Hotel was Antonne’s toy, and you’d been polishing it all these years with great care, knowing damn well he’d leave it off to rot.

But you never wanted that toy in the first place. You wanted your father to see you taking care of that toy, in hopes he’d gift you one that you could take care of for yourself.

“The reason why he’s not giving you any of it is b—“

“Because he doesn’t want the Fisks to use me after the marriage, I know.”

You run your fingers through your hair, tugging as though it were about to fall of your scalp.

“I’ve found… A way to escape it.”

ＣＬＩＣＫ.

+17479256640 || Just now

Do you recognize the girl beside him?

You replied || Just now

No.

His knee jumps along to the drumming of his chest. He thinks of Miles, wondering if he’d been kidnapped, coerced, or attacked. He knew the boy— he’s strong enough to fend for himself against many things. He’s well taught, he’s a genius and…

He’s a fucking fool for his lady. Just like his father.

God, who knew that the lone weakness of the Prowler was a sixteen-year-old with a pretty face?

Ding.

+17479256640 || Just now

Sent an attached file

ＣＬＩＣＫ.

Ding. Ding. Ding.

You and Antonne’s heads swerve at the sound of your phone’s ringing. Begrudgingly, you pushed yourself off of the floor, scrambling to get your phone. With another hit off of the pen, you answer the call.

“What is it?”

And in the background, you hear yelling— commands being thrown in chaos and panic. You look at the ID, finding out that it’s one of your father’s aides. With a hushed whisper and a jagged breath, he reports.

“The Warehouse is being raided, miss–“ A gunshot soars through the air, chillingly searing through a momentary silence. The man whimpers, his voice muffled by his hand. “Raided?” You repeat, voice coming to a hush. “Raided by who?”

And with his jaded breath, he answers.

“.. The Prowler.”

[jazz-miester]

Yandere Bayverse!Optimus x Decepticon Mech reader smut?

Also, I wanted to say that I LOVE your works! Especially that one Optimus x reader one.. it has me in a chokehold. Anyways, feel free to ignore!

Hung Over You

Pairing: Bayverse Optimus x reader

Reader type: Decepticon Mech

Song: Lady Lie- Rainbow kitten surprise

Warnings: I'm gonna put Dubious Consent here as a warning. I. Honestly i'd rather be safe than sorry yall. And please please for all that is holy. Get absolute consent from your partners before doing anything. If the yes isn't given whole heartedly and said with everything the person has to offer. Don't do it. It's not worth it.

An: Aww you're too sweet! I'm glad that you like my stuff so much! Hope that this is what you wanted lol. I'm not to familiar with the yandere thing so im lowkey just winging it. Also putting this under a read more because this came out to be 4186 words long lol.

Tags: @rawmeknockout hope you don't mind me tagging you in this lol.

You have caught his optic. Which honestly is the most dangerous thing you have ever had happen to you. There has been. Rumours that have spread from out of the Autobot ranks. But they had been rumours. Right?

Primes don't do that. They. They don't.

Not once did you truly worry though. When would you ever see him? You were one of the few medics that the Decepticon army had left. Most others had defected to the Autobots.

Really. It made sense. They left so they could work in a slightly safer environment where you were less likely to be offed by your patients. Still, even with how long you've been with the Decepticons you find yourself wondering why. Why have you stayed for so long despite the Decepticons going so far out of the ballpark of what they once stood for.

It was becoming less and less often you would find that reason to stay. And at this point you were only finding it in the older mechs. Those who were forced into their casts by the functionists all because they transformed into something other than a silly little microscope.

They were the ones that still fight so they would no longer have to risk their lives on a job that they higher nobles where to afraid to do. They stuck with the original Decepticon ideals so that their future younglings wouldn't have to live the harsh and horrid lives they did.

They are the reason you kept going. Kept doing what you did. They were he reason you still had a flicker of hope for the Decepticons. That Megatron was truly fighting for your peace. That he would lead Cybertronian kind into a new era. One of peace and prosperity in the way they never had before. A life where your frame didn't dictate how and who you would be.

You lost that little ember of hope on a Decepticon battlefield. Every attempt you made to help the others. To heal, to mend. All of it in vain when the bombs began to rain from above.

Again and again you went out dragging in bots and cons alike to some semblance of safety as the bombs screamed in the sky. You were forced to quit when an Autobot. And old and ancient mech stopped you and pulled you into the shelter. It was his rust colored paint that filled your vision as he gave you some sense of solace.

It was with him you grieved the loss of any hope you had left.

All of this. The wrought and ruin of his own troops, supplies, territory. All of it destroyed for a blind assault on the chance he could kill his enemy.

All of it because Megatron was to much of a coward to face Optimus Prime himself.

You did all you could. Tending to the injured. Helping even the Autobots. Or at least all that would allow you to.

It felt like a life cycle for the bombs to quit falling. Longer still for the metal of Cybertron to settle. And longer for the air to become ventable once again.

You did what you could to lead the injured up and out.

A lot of Decepticons turned their back on the cause after that. Most choosing the neutral path. Not willing to chance facing their brothers and sisters. Friends. Lovers.

Some, like you, pledged yourself to the Autobot cause.

It was on that battlefield that you saw him for the first time.

Optimus Prime.

There was a million and one warning bells going off in your helm the closer he came.

"Are you here to fight, or to stay?" His voice rumbled like distant thunder just before a storm of acid rain. This was the same question he had asked every con before you.

"Stay, I suppose." You spoke after a moment. You had long since torn away the Decepticon insignia. You could still feel the distant ache in your sparkchamber.

A botched job for what should have been the greatest moment in your lifecycle.

It meant nothing now.

"I have heard you helped my troops mech. Is this true?" Blue optics looked you up and down then stopped on your own. For the briefest moment you wondered if he could see you. Truly see you. As if the matrix gave him some supernatural ability to pick apart your very spark.

Cybertronians used to worship Primes.

"I did." You answered. "And I will continue to do so. If you allow. Optimus Prime." A grin split his lips when you were done speaking.

"If you are willing then yes.." He trailed off.

"Y/n sir." The Prime tilted his helm. Mouthed your name.

"Y/n." Something about the way he spoke it sent your spark pounding. Your takes turning.

Megatron sounded like that once.

Just before everything went to slag in a hand basket.

.

.

.

That wasn't the last time you saw the Autobot leader. And it certainly wouldn't be the last.

"Y/n! Mech! Pay attention slaggit!" Ratchet's voice was right in your audio receptor. His servos moved with more efficiently than you have ever seen in any mech or femme. It was supernatural, almost, to watch.

The two of you were elbow deep in a mech. The damned frontliner decided to play hero.

You could have sworn you had seen Optimus. There in a window that the assistant has forgotten to close.

.

.

.

"He's damned good. For a con." Ratchet would both praise and poke at you at the same time. "I'm glad he's on our side though."

You were proud with where you were at the moment. You had built a reputation for yourself. Worked in a place that made your skills worth something. You worked with bots that wouldn't have your helm for just venting wrong near them.

You caught a snippets of Ratchets and Ironhides conversation from where you were organizing field kits. Restocking and filing inventory on this had fallen to you after a while.

Well. You were until Optimus came spilling in. Energon flowed freely onto the floor where it really shouldn't have been.

Two mechs carried him in. You were quick to clear a med berth off. Already you were in the process of cleaning when Ratchet began barking orders

Time to show Ironhide those skills Ratchet was bragging about.

.

.

.

Sometime later and what seemed like an obscene amount of energon, Optimus was deemed stable. Currently he was sleeping off the anesthetics.

"Will you keep an optic on him and tell me when he wakes kid?" You looked up from the data pad you were typing on when Ratchet spoke. "I have some reports I need to finish and I need to plan some care for when he wakes up." You waved a servo.

"I've got it Ratchet. Go do what you need to." With a heavy sigh he left. Muttering about Primes being stupid and self sacrificing for no good Primus damned reason.

You went back to restocking field kits. You needed something to do with your servos while you waited for him to wake up.

Which wasn't much longer after you finished. The Prime woke with a start. Bolting upright as he took in where he was. Some part of his processer still stuck out there on the feild.

It was only after he swing his legs over the side of the berth did you walk towards him.

"Prime. You need to stay laying down. If you get up now you could re open the welds me and Ratchet placed." Your voice was low. Soothing. The same voice you have used a thousand times over for Decepticon coming out of general anesthetics. At least this time you were greeted with a look rather that blaster fire.

Really. Megatron should have implemented some sort of psychiatric treatment for his troop.

Optimus said nothing as you walked up to him. Slowly you placed one servo on his shoulder. "I need to check on the welds before I go and get Ratchet. Are you ok with that or do you want me to get him to do it?" You always gave them the option. Some still didn't trust you. Former Decepticon and all.

"You may." The Prime leaned back slightly. His legs spreading further apart as he balanced himself. You said nothing other than giving him a nod before going to check the welds across his abdomen.

The welds looked ok. And they were still holding up despite the fact he decided to spring up off the berth. You took the opportunity to glance at the ones on his arms. Then checking the cabling at his neck that had become undone.

You froze for a moment when he leant forward. Slumping as if suddenly overcome by fatigue. Out of reflex you caught him by the shoulers. Bracing him as he fell forward. Optimus's helm fell on your shoulder. His servo brushing against your hip and thigh.

"Slaggit! Prime are you ok?" You pushed back on him. Righting the blue colored Prime. "Are you dizzy? Any pains that we were not aware of?" You looked over his face plates. Looking for the drain of nanites and fuzzy unfocused optics.

Nothing.

"I am fine. Just." He paused. "Apologies, Y/n. I did not mean to cause concern." There. Again. That same look he gave you on the battlefield sometime ago.

"Are you sure? It is no issue. I can go get Ratchet. He wanted me to get him after you woke anyways." A slight flicker on his face plates. A sort of, annoyance? Then.

"Get him if you must. Ratchet is my CMO for a reason." It wasn't until you pulled away did you realize Optimus's servo had been on your waist that entire time. Only did you know when you pulled away and his digits grazed along the dark grey plating.

.

.

.

You felt like you were going insane. Someone was leaving you gifts. It wouldn't have been so bad if it wasn't for the fact it was inside your habsuit on your berth.

They were the things you liked. Sweetened energon candies. A very specific polish you thought you would never find again. There was even a praxian crystal rose at one point. Who would give that away to a former Con you would never know. After the fall of Praxus they had become scarce.

You saw Optimus a few times after he had been discharged from the med bay. He came a few times afterwards to keep the welds in check and to make sure the new cabling in his throat had took.

You had been the one to check on the welds after a while. And to make sure the Prime had proper movement in his left arm. The one that you were now currently holding and moving to ensure fluid movement in the shoulder joint.

There was that look again. Like he was staring into your very soul. You felt that if you bared your spark chamber you would feel less exposed.

"And this? Any pain, aches?" The Prime rumbled out a laugh. Not once had he looked away from you.

"No. Truly, it is fine. You've done a very good job." You could feel your faceplates warm. Not use to any type of praise.

"It was hardly all me. Ratchet did the bulk of it." Optimus humed. Pulling his arm away. His digits brushed against your chassis before they settled in his lap. He flexed his palms and you couldn't help but to look.

Only to sputter a cough before he looked up. Almost getting caught ogling the Primes thighs.

"Still. You have done good. I am grateful to have such a skilled mech on our side. Your skills are valued here, y/n." He spoke your name with an intensity.

The two of you locked optics for a moment. The Prime almost drawing you in. He servo rose and hovered next to yours. You swore he almost would have taken it in his if it weren't for Ratchet calling him to his office.

The look that covered his facelates looked almost murderous. You had stepped back when he did that. And the look had fallen almost as quickly as it had came. Filled with a different, almost fearful look at your reaction.

The Prime rose and left. Giving you one last look before going to meet Ratchet. When you glanced back down to the berth you felt you tanks turned.

There, in the center of the berth, was a singular Praxian rose. The one that twined the other currently beneath your berth.

.

.

.

You said nothing about it to anyone. Instead quickly taking it and placing it within your subspace before Ratchet or any of the other medics or assistants could notice.

When Optimus left he had caught your optic then glanced at the berth the rose had been on. When he noticed it was gone and how quickly you had looked away. He smiled.

That night you had went to your habsuit shaken. Placing the rose with the other things you had been given.

Was. Was Optimus the one doing this? It would make sense seeing as how he would be one of the few with the proper codes to get into your habsuit.

But why? Why you? And was it really you?

You didn't fall into recharge that night. And you were in a daze for the next day cycle. Ratchet having reprimanded you more than once for your forgetfulness.

You nearly dropped the glass vials holding nanites when you saw him in the window looking into the supply closet. Optimus had studied you briefly before leaving.

You didn't move for many klicks. Servos shaking as you tried to calm yourself.

The next few days went the same. Catching Optimus in the corner of your optics every time you turned. It made you jumpy. Skittish. You began to pull away from the bots you had made friends with. Even to Ratchet who seemed to be concerned. But he said nothing. Did nothing other than lay his servo on your shoulder and give you the most sympathetic look you had ever seen.

.

.

.

"Y/n. Prime needs you in his office." You glanced up dumbly to the femme that had called your name. You had been in the rec room watching some old holo vids Toptwist had put on. A chorus of oohs had filled the room. Most of the bots acting like you had just been called to the headmaster's office in the academy.

Instead you swallowed thickly and nodded your helm at the femme.

You're frame is shaking the entire walk down the hall. Your mind was racing.

Did you do something wrong? If so then what? As far as you knew you were doing everything Ratchet needed you to. You didn't cause any problems with the others. No matter how much you wanted to throttle some of them when they wouldn't stop fragging you over just because you used to be a Con.

Is that why? Did some mech of femme complain about you being a former Decepticon?

You didn't want to lose what you had here. To much. It. You had finally found a reason to keep fighting. The Autobots they held up the ideals that the Decepticons used to have.

You don't think you would be able to quit this. Not without some consequence on your mental health. You needed this.

.

You stopped before the door to Optimus Primes office. You didn't know if you should com him or knock on the door. In the end you chose the latter. Fisted servo hovering before the engraved metal door for a klick before you knocked.

Ice flooded your frame. Something. Something spoke to you about this being a bad idea. That you should turn. Run.

Instead you ignored that millennia forged instinct.

"Enter." Optimus's voice sounded from the other side of the door after you knocked. The door sliding open and closing behind you quickly when you stepped inside.

His office was quaint. Small. There were odds and ends decorating shelves. A few organic plants here and there that looked well taken care of. It was such a rare sight to see. The war on Cybertron and rendered all organic life null. Unable to grow in such an hostile enviroment.

There were data pads from floor to roof on one wall. Suddenly you remember that the great Prime was just once a simple archivist in Iacon.

"There's no need to stand near the door, dear Y/n. I promise. You are not in any trouble here." Your helm snaps from the shelves of data pads and towards the Prime sitting at his desk. It was cluttered with data pads and reports. A few trinkets here and there. There was even a floating holo screen of what you assumed was him and a few other bots in one corner.

"I was told you needed me sir?" You strode to the center of the room. Just before the Primes desk. He smiled and shook his helm before rising from his seat.

"Please. There is no need for formalities here. I am just Optimus. " The Prime rounded the side of his desk before leaning against the side of it. Crossing his arms over his chassis.

You swallowed thickly. Finding yourself falling into a parade rest. "I was told you needed me, Optimus?" You repeated the question with his name instead. He gave a small laugh when he looked over at you.

"I meant it when I said there was no need for formalities Y/n. Please." Optimus pushed himself away from the desk as you made an attempt to stand comfortably. It was a little awkward.

Optimus stopped before you by less that a foot. You had to raise you helm to look him in the optics. You were not exactly a small mech but you reached just below the Primes chin.

"But yes. I did want you down here. I wanted to discuss something with you." His servo rose. The palm of his servo hovering just next to your helm before settling firmly on your shoulder. You couldn't help but look to that servo. Then to him as he began talking once again. "I have heard you've done good work here. And i'm proud of the fact that you are." The servo fell then digits hooked just below your chin.

Your spark began pounding in your chest. "I expect you have met my gifts well?" You optics widden and you pull away from those digits.

"That was you?" Your voice rose slightly at the end. At least that was a conformation. Whether or not it set you at ease was debatable to say the least.

"Of course. I'm sorry I couldn't deliver them in person though. I didn't need the others thinking I was playing favorites." His optics looked your faceplates over. His glossa darted out to wet his lips. "I find you to be the most brilliant mech I have had the honour to have in my troops yet. Y/n I have been hung over you since the moment I saw you." His servos cup either side of your helm. The size of them almost engulfing you.

"There is something addicting about you. I have yet to lay my servo on it. But. I wish to have you, if you will." His thumb brushed along your bottom lip. His optics following the movement of his thumb as he did this. "Of course we will have to keep this secret for a while. But I do not mind." His voice was low. Almost rattling in your chassis from how close he was now.

Chassis to chassis. Touching. So close. If the two of you were to slide the metal away. Surely your sparks would touch. The gesture here. Now. It was intimate.

Suffocating.

"Sir we can't. Its." Optimus's face darkened.

"Optimus. Please. Call me Optimus." His servos fell and once reached down to grab yours. He brought it up to his lips and layed a kiss on your scarred knuckles. His optics were on you the entire time. Blown wide with. Attraction? Lust? "And we can. The others will learn to deal with it."

Something pleasurable flooded your field when his wrapped over yours. Your processer fogged and you didn't know what to do. "Optimus I." You stopped when that pleasure flooded over you again. You legs shook and before you knew it you were moving. Your legs hit the desk and one moment you were standing. The next you were sitting. Optimus's servos wrapped around your thighs as he lifted yo up and onto it.

For a moment the fog lifted and you looked up to see a loopy grin on the Primes faceplates.

"Oh you look stunning just like that. I wonder if I could make you make that face again." He was between your legs. His servo traveled from your thigh and over your hip. It sprawled out over your stomach plating and up your chassis. His digits dipped in seems and pulled at wires that had a heat pooling below.

You whimper when his lips finally connecting with yours. Shivers running down your frame as he moves fervently. His servos cradle your helm as he does this. Drawing you in close. You servos find his wrists. You didn't know if you wanted to pull him away or hold him there so he would keep going.

He did leave you those gifts. It. It makes sense that he wouldn't do it in person. Right?

Right?

The two of you pull away with heated breaths. A string of fluid following your lips before breaking apart.

Your faceplates felt hot. Your vents where going rapidly. Trying to cool your heated frame.

Optimus lent in again and again. Laying kiss after kiss until he found your neck. Nibbling and sucking along the cabling there. You shiver and shook at the assault. Your frame reacting pleasantly to what he was doing.

"Such sweet sounds you are making. I wonder if you will sing the same while on my spike." His hips rolled as he said this. His servo landed on top of your interface array. "Please? My Y/n please?" Optimus spoke breathlessly. His helm pressed to yours. Your nose bumping against his as he moved to press another kiss to your lips. "For me? Please?"

And you did. Your array springing open and revealing your spike and valve to the room.

"The. The door. Is it locked?" You asked.

"Mmm? Yes." Optimus told you. His digits fluttering over your valve. A whimper left your lips as he teased you. Digits skimming over your valve. Your aching node to tease your weeping spike. "Look at you. Is all this for me?" He pressed a kiss to your chin.

"Yeah." You spoke. "Yeah. Just for you." A low moan left you when he sunk his digits within you. Digits curling as he pumped them in and out of you. He moved slowly. Gathering the fluid that left you and spreading his digits apart to slowly ease you into taking his spike.

He didn't want to hurt you after all. Not after waiting for so long. And not with you being so nice and willing.

You almost cried when those cleaver digits left you. Only for you to give a shudder when he put those same digits in his mouth. Glossa working around and between his digits tasting everything you had to offer.

"You taste sweeter than I thought you would be Y/n." He humed as his own interface array pulled away. He gave is own spike a few languid strokes before placing it between your shaking legs. "Relax. I will not hurt you." The tip of his spike pressed into you. "Relax my y/n." He guided himself within you. Moving slowly. He briefly pulled back at one point before sliding forward.

Optimus paused when he was fully seated within you. Giving his hips a few experimental rolls as he watched you come completely undone beneath him.

He was absolutely enthralled with the way you threw your helm back when he began to move. He happily complied with your pleas of more. Harder. Just like that.

You were being so good. So kind after all. How was he not to do what you asked when you were doing such a good job. He even told you as much.

"Look at you. Being such a good mech for me. You are taking me so well my y/n." His hips stuttered when he felt you squeeze around him from the praise. "You are taking my spike so good. You pretty valve feels so nice. So good. Gripping my spike so." He paused when he felt pleasure rack through him when you squeezed him once again.

Optimus was sure to note this in the back of his helm for future fragging sessions.

He could feel his overload coming and coming quickly. And if the way your were keening and moaning. Chanting his name so sweetly. Well, he knew yours was close as well.

Optimus rolled his field over yours and watched as you threw your helm back. Static spitting out of your vocalizer as you overloaded and over loaded hard. Your frame falling pliant under his servos.

Optimus found his soon after you. Pulling you close and leaning on your body.

He was sure to bring you into his habsuit. Cleaning your dirtied frame. Optimus took in the welled energon on your neck cabling. The slight paint transfer around your thighs from your coupling.

He'd be damned if he was letting you leave anytime soon.

[mysticarts]

"....She Cares?" A small Gunntech au oc scene

(Note, Gunntech Au belongs to @elmushterri and them only.)

First off, I'm writing this as celebration as one of my idols not only likeing my art style, BUT ALSO THAT SHE ADORES KAILANI, WOOOOOOO

Context: if Kailani is in this show, I imagine there's a long side arc about Isabella finding about Kailani and hunting her down. So when Isabella finally catches Kailani and rants about how evergone abandoned her, she didn't expect Kailani to cry in reply.

SCENE

SEASON THREE, EPISODE ??? "Beneath the spikey corals"

"....Why are you crying?" Isabella asked, being a little put off by Kailani's tears.

"...they threw you aside, like you where nothing!" Kailani Exclaimed, her voice being shakey due to the tears flowing down her face. "That...you didn't deserve that! No one should have to go what you have been through!"

Isabella's expression turned into one of suprsie. She never met a girl so emotional or actually caring about her before. How did Gunntech allow such an emotional girl to be a worker? Isabella pushed the thought away, focusing on Kailani.

"Yeah, I'll agree with you on that. But that dosent explain why you're so emotional about this" Isabella commented, with Kailani becoming visibly more upset.

"OF COURSE IM EMOTIONAL!" Kailani shouted with a tone of sadness and anger, her hair visibly starting to look like tentacles the more she got upset.

"If you got turned into the way you are now, and just tossed to the side, who knows how many people have been through that pain? How many people had to suffer disappointment, how many people being shunned from society, all because Gunntech wanted someone perfect?" Kailani rambled, pacing across the underwater cove as Isabella watched her, feeling uncomfortable

"Well, that's just Gunntech. If you're not good, they throw you to the pits." Isabella replied, looking down at Kailani. Isabella wouldn't be lying if she felt the tiniest bit of pity for the girl. Kailani never even knew of Isabella's existence.

Kailani was quiet, so many things zooming through her mind. The place she dedicated almost her entire life too, was destroying innocent people's lives, and she was helping with that. Kailani didn't want to believe it, but the evidence was right in front of her. There was nothing Kailani could do with this new information. If anyone found out Kailani knows about Isabella, most likely she'd suffer a worst fate than death.

Kailani took off her uniform shades as she wiped her tears before looking up at Isabella, showing a kind smile. "....You won't mind if I hang out with you tomorrow?"

SCENE END

This was fun to right, lol-

Yall seem to love Kaliani, and I don't blame yall I love her. I MADE HER ADORABLE RAHHH.

Just wait until I release her digital and colored look oh yall aren't ready when I learn color theory-

Feel free to ask Kailani any questions!

[opossumloverr]

✪ RAPHAEL HAMATO DATING HEADCANONS ✪

Summary:

Just some silly lil headcanons to start of the summa❗️🫶🏾

Warning(s):

None! all fluff up in here

A/N:

OKAY GUYS ITS SUMMER VAYCAY, IM BACK AND HAVE NOTHING TO DO FOR 75 DAYS, IM A FREE MAN, SO LET'S START IT OFF WITH MY FAVORITE BOY (Gender-neutral reader!)

I would like to start by saying this man loves you very much and would drop almost anything for you

You need help with a school project? Big red is on his way, you don't know what shoes will match the outfit you picked, oh what a coincidence! he just so happens to have a matching pair of shoes that fits you perfectly, you just want cuddles? lock and loaded baby, come at him

I think I can speak for everyone when I say we all need a Raph in our lives

He protects you from his brother's teasing, even if it's just playing or goofing, he is NOT taking any chances.

He loves to scoop you up randomly, you'll get used to it don't worry

Very cautious when picking you up though, doesn't want his spikes to hurt you, he will feel mad guilty if he was the one who caused you even a little bit of pain, even if it wasn't attentional (please comfort the man)

Appreciates the little moments he shares with you, oh my gosh I actually have the perfect scenario, just imagine...

After a long day full of fun cahoots and mysterious adventures, you two finally decided to go home, you usually go your separate ways after a day like this one, but it was rather late at night, and New York lets the creeps roam at this time, so he offered to ride the subway train with you, even though you were a bit hesitant but agreed cause there's no way your gonna allow yourself to get mugged in the middle of the night and like I said it was late at night so the subway cart that you guys were on was empty, he did wear a Hoodie and mask, just in case, the ride was silent, no noises but the constant screeching of the train tracks, but other than that it was just comfortable silence, Raph was lost in his thoughts, thinking about how the next day will be and how it will end, will it be a good or bad day? or something in the middle; what's the meaning of life? and what happens after death? Where does your soul go to, to heaven? or is it just pitch black forever, will today be his last day-- suddenly, he felt a lightweight on his shoulder, the thoughts that were coming in like a rapid wave started to smooth down to a calm stream of water, he glanced down at your sleeping figure, apparently you thought it was a perfect time to take a quick power nap, how cute! he coos softly at you, loving how you're so comfortable and calm around him. god, he loves you so much ♡,

"I promise I will always be here when you need me, you're my everything, sweetie"

Sorry guys I just felt a little kooky at the moment

If you like to play fight he's totally down, doesn't fight too hard obviously, and lets you win all the time, what a gentleman

He'll hold doors open for you, push your seat out, and then push it back in, hell, he would even do that thing where a guy puts his coat on a puddle so the lady could walk through it even though she's fully capable of walking around it

Takes so many pics of you and him at places, and has a particular folder on his phone with pictures of you guys

When it's family game night or movie night, he always invites you, you are practically a part of the family so why not? (The others don't mind)

It's so common to find you in the lair with how much you go down there on a daily basis

Yall have to do lovely dovey things in a private area cause of his brothers (mostly Leo, his bitchass) constantly changing the mood

Likes it when you watch him workout, it motivates him so much, sometimes he uses you as a weight

Loves to give you piggyback rides for some reason

He likes pickles, LISTEN LISTEN, if you don't like pickles in your burger you'll pick them out and give it to him cause you know he loves em (THE OLIVE THEORY ♡)

I GOT SOO MUCH MORE BECAUSE OF HOW MUCH I LOBE HIM BUT ILL KEEP IT INSIDE, FOR NOW, CAUSE ITS 5:08 AM RN 💀 sorry for being dead for 5 months, AGIAN, but imma be back on my grind now 🙏🏾 and I'll try to complete all of my 15 drafts 😓 and if you see any grammar mistakes, no you didn't.

[thesillyvivi]

i made a post asking if u guys would like my oc being a failed eva/trish thingy (would it be eva or trish i still dont know) and i think yall did and i did say if enough people liked it i would make a post going a bit more into it. yeah. something like that. anyway this is thay post

be warned this is one of the few times ive decided to write out oc lore n stuaff so it migjt be a little sloppy. a bit bad. im not a professional at this sort of thing. we ball

ok yap time

so the whole idea was that Liniyal (the dmc oc in question) was like. a proto trish i guess u could say???? that eventually escapes mallet island and tries to live a normal life. or as normal as she can all things considered

how she escapes i havent really figured out yet. i think during the collapse would make tje most sene but thats as far as that goes. i heard that trish and dante got there by boat so maybe she made her own little makeshift boat and skedaddled??? who knows. but she Gets Out

the only reason why mundus even keeps her long enough that she manages to escape is that he wanted to punish her failure (even if technically he was the one that failed) by keeping her locked up and showing her what she couldve been and what she couldve done when he finally creates the perfect one aka trish. its like when a parent says "you should/could be more like (person)" but way worse if that makes sense

so then dmc1 happens and all the while liniyal is like somewhere just kinda trapped and then mundus is defeated and shes able to be set free since his magic stuff was beung used to keep her locked up and since hes like gone? probably? it would kinda just disappear. you know??.????

so yada yada she escapes and arrives to main land and the immediate first thing she wants to do is remove or cover anything that reminds her of what she is. basically starting a new life or at least trying to

its like a V situation where she has to go around stealing stuff and hunting demons 4 food (since i think he does that in vov) at first she probably has the mosy horrendous fashion taste but for like 95% of her life she WAS naked so u cant blame her too much. she does get better eventually i hopr

ive yet to decide whether or not i want to give her a buddy who like helps her w everythinf because while i do think it would be nice idk if id want to make it a canon character and if not that would mean id have to make up a whole new character and i just Dont Know how to go about that. maybe i can jusg say there was some guy and you can put your own interpetations on em if u wanted

also still thinkimg about when she would actually appear in "canon" either during dmc4 or dmc5. not sure when in dmc4 but for 5 i thought about maybe her firsy appearence would be in the far background when nero is fightinf (checks notes) artemis kinda like how in the one dmc4 cutscene you can see dante just chilling while neros kicking ass

and then her like meeting appearence if that also makes sense would be when V or nero come across a later boss (still on surface or when v is in the queen empusa area) and she gets like whacked so one of em decides they gotta like help??? and soon enough she'll be bavk on her feet and syart fighting alongside em and be like a companion. dont know where to go after that though

i 100% do think that if she were to ever meet trish it would be AWKWARD. even if trish wouldnt know her (another thing i havent decided on. that comes up a lot in here) she would know trish and just feel all weird aroun her because. You Know

and i think? thats all i can think off the top of my head????? it is fsirly late when im writing this so idk i might be too tired to remember anything else that would be important

i hope this isnt a let down like i said im not very good this sort of thing. at some point i think im gonna make a ref that has liniyal, trish, and eva to likr compare them and see how liniyal was considered a failure. and thrn also her weapon and yada yada

if anyone has any suggestions or questions or corrections u wanna make feel free to reblog or senf me an ask i am open to Everything

okauy. goodnight

[winwintea]

OMG YES ADD ME TO PERM TAGLIST I’D LOVE TO

and i was no where to be seen because uni is starting soon i’m gonna kms😿😿 also me an dmy brother are moving so busy with the new apartment stuff and all🙁 this is my last year in nyc then we are moving back to china (tears tears) BUT MY STEP-MOM IS GIVING BIRTH TO MY SISTER AFTER 3 WEEKS I’M NOT SAD SO LETS YEPPIE GUYS!!!

And i actually had a feeling minghao was gonna buy the theatre because yk he is stc ten 0.2 and mark SEE YALL‼️‼️ I DIDN’T SUSPECT HIM FOR NOTHING‼️‼️ i mean he wasn’t proven guilty as charged but he is kind of sus yk and his whole plot and sense doesn’t even make sense so what are you mark???

my new suspecting list:

jaehyun— bro is sus AS FUCK like i just know it you didn’t make him renjun’s ex for nothing AND OMG WAIT what if he came to visit renjun again and check up on him then he just DIES OMGOMG I’M IMAGINIG THINGS LIKE OMG🤭🤭🤭 maybe he isn’t on the suspecting list after all

mark— YALL SAW WHAT HE DID TO Y/N‼️‼️‼️

renjun— don’t even ask why

jiung— same as renjun

and also everyone in the theatre is on the lost because everyone is just sus

AND UMMM IS TARO MARK AND JENO DEAD??? OKAY QUICK REMOVING TARO JENO AND MARK FROM THE SUSPECTING LIST💀💀💀💀

I’m litreally so confused right now london…why did you mark such a bitch them kill him like at least make us love him then let him die such a tragic death also TARO NOOOOO THAT’S LITREALLY MY SON DON’T KILL HIM 😭😭😭😭 jeno was kinda playing mysterious and drak so i don’t reall caRE if he dies🙄 STILL NO NOT TARO😿😿😿 i’m gonna tell sungchan and taeyong on you and tell them how cruel you are to taro😞💔💔💔💔

ALSO SICHENG CURSING??!?!?!?!??! EXCUSE ME WHO MADE YOU LEARN BAD WORDS SICHENG UH-AH THIS IS NOT ACCEPTABLE ‼️I hope you don’t mind london because i’m putting your man on TIMEOUT‼️‼️ unacceptable from you sicheng😡😡

me going through this like oh damn girl 👀

this is so funny when uni starts for me next week i will become more free than usual, like unless there’s a test i usually just get my shit done and don’t have anything else to do lmao… my summers are lowkey so busy and packed but whenever i have school im so chill

also your family must be crazy rich… living in new york??? i could only imagine… and owning a house/apartment in china is crazy expensive too…

is your step-mom also chinese??? or just your mom (i feel like i’m asking very personal and invasive questions here but girl you got a crazy ass life i’m literally in shock)

no fr minghao is literally stc ten 2.0 (and you’ll see in a second mlvtw ten is stc dejun 2.0 life moves around in circles)

JAEHYUN WILL MAKE AN APPEARNACE SOON I PROMISE. he is essential to the y/njun lore

no fr… mark chill tf out

everyone sus !!!

taro, jeno, and mark? are they dead? you’ll find out tomorrow.. teehee (and @galacticnct will block me too i’m so ready)

see i apologize for making mark a bitch but he’s getting his own smau so 🤷‍♀️

sicheng getting put in timeout nooooo 😭😭

[volivolition]

ok so. just curious but omg what are your favourite Unus Annus moments/quotes?

We rewatch compilation vids of unus annus vids alllll the time because Fuck we miss it so much BFNDSNDNDJS and some that have gotten burnt into our head recently areee:

Like that Whole first video with the sex toys. but especially the part where a guy just shows up at Mark's door and they're in fucking bdsm gear and cat ears eating breakfast FHDJXJDJD

The video with them making a sensory deprivation tank. "Mark, what's the main ingredients in sensorary deprivation tanker?" lives rent free in our head tbh we quote that so much. Same with that bit where Ethan accidentally unplugs the tub lmao "WHere's the drain??" ".... By your feet." ".... What do I do with it :)?"

This one's like HARD to find in compilation vids but I swear at one point Ethan was doing something with a knife and Mark was like, verbatim, "If you cut me I bleed oooouuutttt :)!!!" And the AMOUNT OF TIMES WE QUOTE THAT ONE. IS SO MUCH AUSJSJSJSDJXJXJDJ

Other moments that live in our brain rent free include but r not limited to That time Ethan was singing Mark's songs in the car ("I don't gonna VOOOOOOOTE"), That time Ethan started singing fuckin Eminem out of nowhere, and the egg toss scene where Mark threatens to kill Ethan (THIS one we can find a video of easily here it is). Oh also that one bit where Ethan was fucking.... Just talking nonsense which narrows it down very little actually. but he was saying shit like "Have You Ever Been Bitten by a Frog? Have you ever been bitten by a Log? Have you ever been bitten by a Dog? Have you ever been bitten,,, By The Fog??" that scene fucking kills us FJFJDJDJFJD

-Anti/Tulip

HI HELLO!! (this is a month old im so sorry hkjh) I ALSO MISS IT HKJGH it was such a good concept, i love the meaningfulness of life and death behind the channel, contrasted with the silliest fuckin videos imaginable, i thought it was so fun?? let's try new things! let's be weird and wild EVERYDAY!! it doesn't need to be complex, we can just shoot the shit because theres still worth in the mundane moments, and our time on earth is limited anddd my god i think its so nice hgkjh <33

THE FIRST VIDEO IS SO FUCKING ICONIC HJHGKF to think of making breakfast with sex toys in the first place, the execution, the GUY WHO SHOWS UP AND THEIR FUCKING PANIC THATS SO FUNNY HKJHG

QUOTES YOU CAN HEAR AS YOU READ THEM KJHGG, "Mark, what's the main ingredient! In sepfruary desperation tanker :)" unplugging the tub like, Ethan oh no hkjhg… Ethan noooo…

i don't think i remember that one but my god hkjhg i will bleed ooooouuuttttt :)!!

I LOVE THE SINGING IT'S DEAR TO ME hkjg suddenly just "TOAST!" in the middle of the lyrics like HGKJH I DON'T THINK THATS RIGHT BUT I HAVENT DONE ENOUGH OF HEIST TO DISPUTE IT HKGJH

"knees weak, arms are heavy, mom's spaghetti... HES NERVOUS,,!!!!"

"I get to kill you now!! I'm going to kill you!! :)" HAKJSH THE THREATENING AURA...

I KNOW THAT LAST ETHAN QUOTE BUT I DONT REMEMBER FROM WHICH VIDEO HKJHG but i know the exact intonation he's saying it in hkjhg

personally enjoyed like, basically every time they sang, and also like. so many ethan moments hkjh i was an unus for real <33

i was still singing the disclaimer song for like, MONTHS after unus annus ended hkjh "Don't try this at home~ If you do you might dieee~!!" and the dance of italy still makes me laugh and the drive to camp with vocal warm ups were REALLY FUN, reminds me of my choir days <33 also "diggin my friend a grave~!! DIGGIN MY FRIEND A GRAVE~!!!!!!"

THE DRUM DATE DO YALL REMEMBER THE DRUM DATE?? theres a point where it actually sounds surprisingly good and im INCREDIBLY FOND OF THEM JAMMING OUT hfhj

this clip of ethan in the hot tub burbling is me whenever im in ANY water source ever hfjgj

im also fond of the real sensory deprivation tank experience, that was really fun getting to see the real deal compared to the. bathtub hkjhg

"Siri, call us daddy." "I couldn't find a father in your contacts" [TWIN LOOKS OF AGHAST SHOCK] FUCKGIJGN????? OH MY GOD... FUCK, MAN HGKJH

"a ski... skee... skipple... skiiiir... skirtle... skrittle... A SKITTLE!! no wait..." <- BIG FUCKIN MOOD HKGJH

i think the last video (other than the stream) that i rewatched from them was Ethan Teaches Gymnastics because i really do love just Ethan showing off all the moves he knows. COMPETENT GYMNAST!! THE BACKFLIP GUY HKJGH <333 the part where ethan talks about having to see how many fingers his instructor was holding up and mark flipping him off was really funny to me hgkjh that video holds a place in my heart hkjgh

ohhh theres probably so much more but these are what i remember hkjh <33 thank you for asking this, and thank you for sharing your favorites too hehehe!!! :3 <33 <22 i love reminiscing about this, i miss this channel jhkjgh <333 memento mori!!! :D

[irisxstardust]

1 | Shut Up

SUMMARY: You and Ellie used to be friends until one day when she decided she was done. You hadn't spoken to her since and now, five years later, you are given the unfortunate task of going on patrol with the girl. A little argument and one stalker later, you're playing her hero. But is it enough to repair the damage made to your relationship all those years ago?

A/N: wowzers. ive spent like two weeks going back and forth on this piece bc UGH i want to get into the cutie stuff but i like want that angst and slow burn yk. and i also want it to be good like this is my first real tumblr post and yall are such good writers ive got a lotta standards to meet. ugh pls tell me its not boring i dont want it to be boring since its not fluff. anyway there will be more but im not sure how fast ill be able to write it. i like really dk how many more parts i could make of this ngl like i just wanna make a happy amazing pt 2 where reader and ellie just like live happily ever after. also this is my first time writing in second person so pls give me grace if its bad lmfao. love you🫶🏻

CW: cursing, angst?/slow burn, fem!reader (she/her), CAT (🤮🤧😵‍💫)

WC: 3,688

You didn’t hate Ellie Williams, not in the slightest.

In fact, when you first met the girl you were impressed by her nonchalant attitude and how quickly she adjusted to life in Jackson. You admired the bond she shared with her companion, Joel - the closeness they shared, the softness of his voice when he spoke to her, the glint in her eyes when she looked at him. That didn’t mean you missed the way she stared off distantly in her free time, or the way she would talk to others with a certain tiredness in her voice; but it wasn’t like you could talk to her about it.

You weren’t friends with her. Well, not anymore.

Ellie and you were friends when she first arrived, you made sure of it. You were always bringing her things to make the adjustment easier: blankets, sweaters, new socks, ammunition, and a new hairbrush, among other things. She was grateful for it at first, always thanking you, hunting you down for movie nights, and inviting you over for dinner with Joel. But at some point you messed up - you did something wrong.

She slowly began to ignore you, she started returning your home-baked goods and stopped inviting you to her house to watch movies. She started to talk to you just as cold as she talked to the others. She didn’t like you anymore.

Eventually, probably tired of your haphazard attempts to fix your friendship, she snapped. You left her house in tears that day with your head down, shoulders hunched and wobbly, trying to cover the tear streaks with your hair.

Ever since you’d tried to ignore her, her words, and the wounds they made. It was hard when she consumed your every waking thought. You thought about Ellie all the time - what you did wrong, the way her hair bounced as she walked, what you said to make her hate you, that one time at dinner she accidentally choked on water and spit it out her nose, the look in her eyes as she yelled in your face, all of the science stuff she had hidden away in every crevice of her room.

Every thought you had about Ellie contradicted the other and it was all so confusing that every time you thought too hard about it your head spun.

So you quickly found yourself doing simple, menial tasks to keep your thoughts at bay. You were picking up every patrol you were allowed, volunteering at the daycare to help your mom care for the kiddos, spending any and all free time at your friends houses instead of yours. You always finished your house chores early in the morning, always walked your neighbors dog once before noon and once after, always doing whatever you could to stay out of your own mind.

So you forgot about Ellie - as best as you could, at least.

It almost worked, too. Five years you got away with it, hiding from your mind and from Ellie. Until today, the one day you had been dreading for years. The day you knew was coming.

You were partnered with Ellie for patrol.

At first, you'd spent the first three hours complaining to your friends - Jesse mostly ignored you, only cracking jokes here or there, and Dina just didn't understand why you hated Ellie so bad. Eventually you just gave in and stopped complaining, finding some solace under the heavy duvet on your bed.

Before Dina left your home she gave you a warm smile and said, "You're gonna do great." And then left you to your own devices, not realizing she was leaving you to rot in your own brain.

When the time came to get up and get ready, you found yourself picking through your clothes, trying to find the cleanest shirt to wear and the pants that fit you the best. You wanted to look nice, most people would, but you weren't sure if it was for you or for her.

You walked nervously towards the stables, taking firm, heavy breaths as you shoved your hands into your jacket pockets.

"It'll be okay... It'll be okay," you chanted the words under your breath as you neared the stables, clenching and unclenching your sweaty fists.

When you arrived, Ellie was already leading Shimmer along to the exit, hardly glancing at you.

"You're late." She said, sucking on her teeth.

You nodded slowly, inhaling sharply, "I am aware..." speaking slowly and cautiously, trying not to poke the bear. "I kind of have my own stuff, though," the pitch of your voice raised slightly, as if you were unsure of your own words, "so I got here as fast as I could."

She scoffed, her head shaking slightly which sends her short strands of hair bouncing around her ears. "Just get the fucking horse."

You walked off hastily, unfurling Japan's reigns - when Dina didn't take him out, you did, because you both liked to make sure he had enough exercise everyday. You walked him down to meet Ellie at the gate.

Ellie was standing on one foot, shifting her weight every now and then and rubbing her palms down the length of her thighs; almost as if she was rubbing something off of them. She rubbed her thumbs on Shimmer's reigns nervously, head darting back and forth to see if you were close or not.

When you came into her line of sight, she hardened up and stood taller. Her face sharpened and her eyes filled with the same distance that kept you up at night, though today they also harbored another emotion, one you were no longer privy with.

It filled you with a sense of confusion and dread, causing you to mumble incoherently under your breath.

"Fucking Williams... cold as shit... pain in my ass..." you muttered as you mounted your horse.

Giving you one last weary look, Ellie also mounted her horse. She pulled her fingers through her hair, tucking it back behind her ear as the two of you left Jackson.

The horses trotted slowly, easily stepping over the tree roots in the ground as if they had the whole route memorized.

For you, this was one of the few routes you hardly visited. It wasn't too far from Jackson, but it was just far enough that you knew it'd take up the rest of your day.

As your eyes danced between the trail ahead of you and Ellie beside you, you didn't know what to think.

Sure, you'd thought of all the ways you would yell at her and all the things you'd say if you ever got the chance again; but you'd also thought of all the ways you'd make it up to her, all the things you wanted to say to let her know you weren't the same person you used to be.

What did it matter, anyway?

You were stuck here, letting your old wounds sit and fester in the bitterness of it all. You were stuck here, next to her but unable to fill the empty silence with words. You were stuck here, on patrol with the one person who hates your guts and you couldn't do anything about it.

"It's not polite to stare, you know."

Her voice echoed through the dense trees, bouncing off branches and leaves only to worm its way back into your brain.

"I'm sorry?" you hummed, caught off guard by the sound.

Her head slightly turned in your direction and Shimmer slowed down to a light trot, matching Japan's speed. "It's not polite to stare."

Her words were much sharper the second time around, with much more emphasis placed upon them.

She's angry. Amazing. You scoffed to yourself, trying to keep hold of your composure.

"I wasn't staring..." you paused. You almost said her name, but the word caught in your throat. "At you. I wasn't staring at you."

She glanced at you sideways before she continued, "you were."

"Was not!"

"Were too."

"I wasn't staring-!"

There it was again. You'd almost said her name, but it got caught in the back of your throat, which left you to haphazardly cut off your sentence and leave her hanging, waiting for it.

She scoffed. "Yes, you were."

You closed your mouth and pressed your lips into a line, "I wasn't fucking staring at you, Williams."

"So you stare at me, deny it when I tell you it's impolite, and then can't even use my name?" She stopped her horse, leaning back in the saddle as she spoke.

And the words get caught in your throat. Your mouth dried as you slowed your own horse.

"I used your name," you whispered, blinking away the wetness in your eyes.

She laughed sourly, pulled on Shimmer's reigns and began to trot ahead of you again.

You sighed at the bitterness brewing in the pit of your stomach. You certainly fucked that up - but was it entirely your fault? Surely some of that had to go to Ellie too - I mean she's the one who broke off your friendship... she's the one who yelled at you for "staring." You weren't staring in the first place... right?

You began to question yourself, yet again, as Ellie spoke up once more.

"You're still staring."

And suddenly it's almost as if you could hear the smirk she had on her face.

"Could you fucking not? Please? I'm just trying to get to the tower and go home alive. I don't want to deal with this bullshit too."

"Stop fucking staring then," she whipped around to face you. "I definitely didn't ask for this either, so stop being a baby and get over it."

You clenched your fists and brought one to your face, rubbing your eyes with your palm.

"I'm not staring at you, El-"

You stopped talking after you finally looked directly into her eyes, catching sight movement behind her.

She began to scoff but suddenly stopped as your face changed.

"What?"

"Shut up."

You tilted your head to the side, narrowing your eyes as you focused on a shadowy figure hidden in the trees.

The figure stilled under a long branch, the leaves creating long shadows which warped around the curves of the figure.

Slowly, you reached for the pistol strapped to your thigh. Ellie's face scrunched in a mix of confusion and worry.

"Don't," you breathed, "move."

At the sound of your sharp exhale the figure screeched and aimed for Ellie, its dark eyes fixated on her.

You brought the gun up, aiming and pulling the trigger as fast as you could, but the stalker was hardly affected by the single bullet.

Ellie whipped around, yelping once before the stalker jumped on her and yanked her off of Shimmer. The stalker pinned her to the ground, its teeth already bared and ready to bite.

You pulled the trigger again. And again. And again. Until eventually the stalker slumped down above Ellie.

She pushed it off and brought herself to her feet, head whipping around to look for others.

"Do you see any more?" you asked as you scanned the area.

She shook her head, "I don't think so... holy shit."

You both sat quietly for a moment as you tried to process what just happened.

"Thanks- thanks for uh, for that," she panted, mounting Shimmer again and looking around, "that was close."

For a moment you were rendered speechless, trying to piece the puzzle back together in your brain before responding. "Yeah... of course," you paused, adding lightly, "s'what friends do." It came out a little mumbled but you knew she heard it.

You didn't keep your eyes on hers long enough to gauge her reaction, but you figured it was one full of something negative. You looked up one last time and caught her eyes, the strangest look on her face, before turning back down and looking away.

"The tower's just up that way," you hesitated, waiting for her to say - or do - something. To do anything. But she didn't, so you continued, "there shouldn't be any more in the area, they just cleared it last week."

You shifted on the saddle, cringing slightly, urging Japan to move forward again.

The rest of your route went okay - you didn't encounter anymore infected and the area is mostly barren anyway so you didn't find anything worthwhile. The tower was cleared already, too, so you and Ellie mostly found solace in your own thoughts for the rest of the route.

She didn't mention the staring thing again, opting to keep quiet instead, but you could feel her eyes meeting the side of your head every now and then.

You didn't say anything to her as you re-entered Jackson, walking side by side to the stables to put the horses back.

Ellie was brushing out Shimmer's mane as she opened her mouth to speak, "hey, thanks for earlier. Seriously. It means a lot."

You nodded, "no worries," and you paused, unsure of what to say next. Before you could, Ellie spoke up again.

"And sorry, by the way," she said, eyes darting around the stables, "for being mean."

At that, you found yourself completely dumbfounded, eyes wide, staring across the stables at her. And before you had the chance to recover from the shock she was flying out of the stables, probably heading back to Joel's house.

Within the next four minutes you'd rushed to Dina's, tripping and stumbling over your own feet, heart pounding and mind racing.

"She apologized?" Dina asked incredulously, eyebrows raised and lips turned downward, "for real?"

You shrugged, "I guess. I can't believe it either."

"Yeah, dude, she hated you for years but you play hero once and now she likes you again?" Jesse laughed, shaking his head, "bullshit."

"I never said she liked me again, Jesse. I was just telling you what happened. She apologized. That's what happened."

"Maybe she realized you aren't that bad," Dina smiled.

"Oh thanks, Dee, I'm honored."

Dina chuckled, leaning towards you and smacking your shoulder playfully, "and it's about time."

You paused, chewing on your lip as you thought of the day's events over and over and over again.

"I hope this is a new beginning for you guys, you deserve it."

You stopped your thinking, pulling yourself out of your thoughts to respond with a smile, "thanks, Dee."

"So, now that that's out of the way," Dina smiled suggestively, narrowing her eyes and raising her eyebrows, "you want to come to the bar with us later? Everyone's gonna be there."

You couldn't miss the suggestive tone in her voice, the way it dropped a pitch and she gained a mischievous glint in her eyes.

You hummed, "are they? Good for them."

Dina sighed exhaustedly, "c'mon! You never come with us! It'll be so much fun, I promise!"

"I don't know, Dina. You know I'm not one for parties."

"Well, you are tonight," she tapped the palm of her hand against the table, "because you are coming with me and we are going to dance all night and have so much fun. So much so, in fact, that you're going to completely forget how much you hate parties!"

"Oh, is that right?" You smiled as you began to chuckle.

She hummed, a particularly big grin splattered on her face.

"Yeah, your new best friend might be there too," Jesse added, which earned a nasty look from you and a disapproving look from Dina.

"Shut up!" Dina shouted, turning her attention to Jesse - which only threw you right back into your own head.

After Dina snapped you out of it, and after a lot more begging and pleading on her part, you agreed. It couldn't be that bad - right?

The party was nothing short of what you'd expected.

It was loud, crammed, kind of smelly, and definitely not the place you wanted to be spending your time.

But every time you caught Dina's eyes or you looked over in her direction, the smile on her face was enough to make you feel so deeply guilty that you stayed put. You stayed with her if she brought you out to dance and you stayed with her if she brought you to the bar to get a new drink.

It wasn't a surprise when you noticed Ellie at the bar, nursing a cold cup, staring at you with a conflicting expression. It also wasn't a surprise when Dina grabbed your hand and started dragging you in her direction, giving you one last reassuring smile.

It was a surprise, however, when Ellie greeted Dina with a hug and you with a smile.

She smiled at you.

Completely unable to quickly recover, you let Dina do the talking, trying to calm your racing heart.

"Hey, El! How're you doing?" she had to shout over the music but you knew Ellie could hear her - everyone could hear Dina.

"Pretty good! You okay?"

They began to exchange pleasantries and all the usual small talk, so you spaced out for a moment, waiting for the moment Dina would pull you away again. That moment didn't come, however, because Dina ran off without you.

"Wait - where's she going?" you yelled, eyes finally meeting Ellie's.

"Said she was gonna grab Jesse," Ellie began, eyes scanning over your outfit. "You want a drink?"

You hesitated, thinking over what happened during patrol. You lost yourself, again, and began mulling over what you could say and how she would possibly respond.

But then you began speaking, your mind not caught up yet.

"Sure!"

Ellie's face relaxed a little, and she waved you over towards a quieter area of the bar. The flannel tucked up to her elbows showcased the way her muscles flexed as she signaled Seth over to your side of the bar.

"You doing okay?" You asked as Seth walked away. "It just... looked like that stalker shook you up a bit."

She nodded, "Yeah, yeah. It was a little," she shrugged and let out a mangled noise, "nerve wracking." You both laughed.

Seth dropped your drink in front of you, giving you a sideways glance before returning to the packed end of the bar.

"You know how it goes, though," she finished. "I'm good."

"Well, that is certainly a plus."

Her lips tugged into a small grin, making you mirror the expression.

"Thanks again, by the way."

"Hey, we were partners. It was my job to have your back."

You both laughed again.

And you fell back into it. Into that easy-going, comfortable rhythm you had with her so many years ago. It was like no time had passed at all; like you were fourteen again.

And even when Dina came back she didn't hide it. You were finally able to openly talk to your two friends together again. It was like a dream.

"Hey, Ellie!" No. "I haven't seen you in forever!" No. "You look so good!" No.

"Oh! Hey, Cat!"

No.

You could almost taste the tension that had suddenly built up around the three of you; the sudden change in the air sending your head reeling and heart pounding.

Ellie and Cat exchanged pleasantries (not like you were interested or anything) as you suddenly honed in on a weirdly shaped ice cube in your drink. Poking at it with your straw, you waited for Cat to leave, holding your breath.

And in less than five minutes, you fell out of it.

You fell out of your rhythm, Ellie already ten beats ahead of you while you seemed to have changed rhythms completely.

When Cat did (finally) leave you let out a shaky breath, watching as even Ellie noticed the shift in you.

"Sorry," she said sheepishly, mostly directing the apology to Dina. She turned to face Dina straight on now, no longer moving her eyes between the two of you.

"You're fine," Dina brushed it off quickly, seemingly unaware of the sudden awkwardness.

"I should uh... go anyway. Joel's waiting for me, so... you know."

"Oh, yeah, sure. We should go soon too," Dina draped an arm around your shoulders, "I have kept someone here for way too long. She's getting a little antsy." She gave you a pointed smile, a teasing tone lacing her voice.

Ellie gave Dina a half-hearted chuckle before standing and hugging her. She gave you a very awkward, sideways, one armed hug before turning around and almost running out of the building.

"You want to go now or wait a little-"

"Can we go, Dina?" you rushed, clenching your eyes shut as you rubbed the balls of your palms into your eyes. "I'm just... really tired."

Dina stared at your face, her eyes scanning yours, for an extra beat before nodding, "Yeah, of course."

At home you spent the rest of your night hiding under your duvet, pulling at large chunks of your hair with your fists, digging your heels into your bed; all the way until you finished the night tiredly blinking away tears and chewing at your lips.

It was all so confusing. One minute you're dreading even looking at her and the next you're talking and laughing with her like you're best friends - and then? Then you're sitting there like the two of you never started talking again at all, all because Ellie said hi to an old friend.

One minute she's talking to you, then the next she's talking to you through Dina.

You woke in the morning with blood dried on your lips and dark bags under your eyes. You found it hard to keep your eyes open as you brushed your teeth, and one look in the mirror showed that you were in no state to leave your home anytime soon.

Your parents left quickly for work, not giving you a second glance even as you asked them to clear your schedule for the day.

Around noon you received a familiar knock at the door, and when you opened it you saw a face that hadn't graced your porch in a few years.

"Hey, Ellie," you paused, panicking internally. "What's up?"

"Do you want to talk?"

[euclydya]

!! [slides in excitedly] hello i hope i am not bothering you all (please feel free to take your time/ignore i won't mind hkjhg <22) i saw that yall got classpects and wanted to help explain!!!!!!! :]

i do not know what Form implies since it is noncanonical, but Doom is about endings, destruction, and the necessity of acceptance! there can be depression or apathy, but endings aren't always bad things. the ending of a tortuous time loop, the satisfying conclusion to a game, the grand finale of an album. leaving awful situations, the end of bad times, sunsets of brutally hot days, the cooling reprieve of night. if things don't end, when will you finally get to rest and process things? the Death card in tarot, essentially: the transition after major upheaval. resting in that dark space after a big change before you begin life again. letting things be as they may, knowing endings must happen, a real "it be like that sometimes" aspect. Memento mori, remember death, and let that make life worthwhile!!

(Life is its opposite aspect, of beginnings, energy, and growth.)

Knights are literally my favorite class (<- this is probably not surprising!! but also i posit there is no bad knight in homestuck, that being Dave, Karkat and Latula.) Knights of Doom can protect doom, allowing people or yourselves to grieve without needing to push straight into the healing process, to rest after a long ordeal. Or to protect using doom, guarding against toxic positivity with needed pragmatism, and allowing things to end as they need to. Or, y'know. Protector using Doom for real, i.e. "You want me to kill that guy for you?"

Knights also often hide behind a facade, sometimes having to do with their aspect. Karkat, for example, hides behind his "ANGRY SHOUTY FUCKASS I HATE EVERYONE" persona, when he actually really cares about his team and friends (<- Knight of Blood). Knights of Doom might put on a facade of some kind to hide the feelings of doom inside.

if yall are Mages, we can be mages together!! :D Mages do NOT get much explanation, but i have personal speculation :3 if yall are Mages of Doom that makes yall Sollux's classpect! Mages gain and keep knowledge of their aspect through experience of/"suffering through" their aspect personally. If yall experienced depression, destruction, and/or upheaval in your lives, this would be fitting. Mages often keep their experiences to themselves, as opposed to their counter class, Seers, who often share this information. (Seers are like teachers sharing knowledge, Mages are like students taking knowledge in!)

They also carry the need to balance between too much and too little of their aspect, using their experiences to know when to shift balance. Mages of Doom would experience too much doom at some points in their lives, and very little doom during others. the cycle of life, doom, then rebirth, and knowing this balancing act intrinsically.

(Personally as a Mage myself, I have to balance between my aspect of Breath [distance, isolation, freedom] and its opposite, Blood [relationships, connections, dependency]. however, im not always the healthiest about these things and can often veer too far into either one!) if yall are Mages, yall might also strive to find balance between Doom (endings, destruction, acceptance) and Life (beginnings, growth, change)! the hibernation of winter to prepare for the new spring, to grow and wither and grow back stronger, to live and die and live again.

TL;DR: [Protector of/Protector using] OR [Knower of/Balancer of] [Apocalypse, Endings, Death, Acceptance, Rest]

sorry i know you all did not ask for this, this is just an old hyperfixation of mine :'] this is all speculation and personal interpretation, thank you for reading any of it if yall did <222

As soon as we finished taking that test actually we WANTED to ask you for your explanation on our classpect, so thank you so much!!! We just. Didn't wanna be a botherUEHFJDJDJF we try to not send you too many asks at once we don't wanna overwhelm you ahaha

Reading your explanation I'm not sure which fits us best tbh we might just Be Both cuz by the end of the day things like Classpects and similar concepts are Boxes people intentionally put emselves in for funsies yeah? And sometimes people just don't fit into one box entirely. (aka Both Fit Us Really Well. Fuck. HFJDJSNFFB)

[castlebyersafterdark]

The only thing stopping me is money and time.

So to me the idea of wealth and fame is a magical concept because of the potential to do everything and go everywhere it offers.

But I guess many feel the exact opposite, where the answer is, “No, having the theoretical opportunity to do everything doesn’t mean you should.

hmmm... to this anon, i think it's not always wise to say can=should about everything because it depends on who gets hurt lol. but about travel, which is pretty much innocuous under this context, i wonder too about finn because i remember him saying noah is always travelling! i think for me... i have nothing near that level of opportunity and money, but ive been lucky to have lived my life so far at different levels of privilege (for want of a better word) depending on circumstance - for example ive been dirt poor, ive also become friends with People In High Places through jobs, and all the in betweens, and i gotta say that the opportunity to do Fancy Things did not always equal enjoyment.

finn doesnt like flying (i vaguely remember he mentioned it in a s3 interview once) and may be more ok with it now, but im gonna guess thats a big reason he doesnt like longhaul travel. but even without those concerns, if you dont have the right people with you to make it fun (maybe friends dont wanna go, dont have time or means), or for reasons like anxiety or mental health or even just where youre at in your life, experiences youve always thought would be great can turn out to be bad, or even just... indifferent. plain. meh. i mean, noah seems to travel a lot with his parents and fam. maybe finn's parents aren't free so often like noah's perhaps.

i remember finn also saying in a panel last year that he used to forward-project about so much of his life, anxiiously imagining finely detailed scenarios about his life at certain ages etc. and that kind of expectation will also make the actual anticipated experience disappointing, cos how often can reality ever live up to fantasy?

i love trying new things so the act of trying/travelling/experience can itself be a thrill for me, even if the experience itself isnt great. you mentioned sex, so i would say a threesome is a classic example of things many people dont actually enjoy in the act, and end up realising they preferred the fantasy of. you get to decide whether its worth trying though! finn doesnt strike me as a thrill seeker so maybe new endeavours don't appeal to him for the sake of trying it, as they might do to noah.

sorry for le essayyyyyyyyy

I love when yall write me essays!!! Very insightful, a different perspective.

I think I had an experience somewhat of the same vein, falling into a lucky job immediately out of school. While others thrived, the travel aspect was not as enjoyable as others may have found the opportunity. Good experiences, bad experiences. It's so personal, the trajectory of a life. Very relatable, what you said about "experiences you thought would be great" turn out differently. And I didn't know he doesn't like flying, aww. Solidarity. As well as worrying and being anxious about so much down the line.

It was very hard to get to a place where I live in the moment. It was work. I especially think that must be incredibly difficult for those with fame and status and projects like these celebs do. He seems like a guy who wants that. Making assumptions, but its not far off to infer. As well as the difference in the boys in regards to thrill seeking. I think that's pretty spot on.

Thank you for the essay, I love when yall share thoughts like this 😁

[donttakeitsopersonal]

Seeing internet drama like… match up or I suppose mirror the subplot of a webcomic I’m reading is so so fascinating. I mean it’s like drama that we’ve seen a bazillion times if you’ve spent enough time in the right circles but idk seeing it playing out too with real people got me thinking again.

Waffles under cut

Ima keep it vague even tho im an absolute nobody, knowing my luck, this will breach containment and then my unorthodox new ways of thinking will ruffle feathers haha but yeah.

Essentially the comic is about the aftermath of a murder and how people are living their lives after that. One of the accomplices is free and living their life and they’re also online. People find out and bully them, someone even suggested deleting their accounts and going offline for a while, but they don’t want to. One thing that is brought up with it is everyone keeps telling them they got to take accountability, which is true. But that’s got me asking well what does that look like? Like it can really look a lot of different ways but watching irl drama play out it makes me wonder if anything will ever be good enough for people. Like I’ve even seen this same scenario play out many times and there’s usually always a vocal group who just want the guilty party to be forever guilty. Is it good enough for them to take accountability, apologize, and rectify their behavior? (I’m talking low stakes drama here not like heinous abuse lol) it just really feels like if you ever make a tiny misstep online that’s your cross to bear forever. I feel like it’s very reductive and doesn’t allow the person to grow and change, which, isn’t that what we want? For people to grow and change and better themselves? Like idk man at this point in time if you can’t show me examples of someone doing XYZ shitty thing within the last year, like yknow something recent, I really couldn’t give a flying sideways fuck. If someone said “hey I did XYZ at this time and that was fucked and shitty and I’ve worked to change myself” and they haven’t done XYZ and did work to change themself, then idk man you sound incredibly immature and like you gotta mind your own business. Like it’s perfectly fine to be like “I don’t like this person they’re icky to me” that’s fucking fine you don’t need a good reason to not like people they can just give you general ick, water and oil don’t mix and you won’t like everyone you meet. You don’t have to be a bully tho 🙄🙄

OMG lemme waffle about other silly drama I saw that’s just like oh myfuckingod you do not need to and also hey wait a minute. So this one car influencer who is a very mean girl that’s also mean to other women while trying to present as a ✨Girl’s Girl✨™️ has had this, I shit yall not, YEARS beef with this other gal. So two face (that’s what ima call her lol) years ago, like BC(before covid) times TF was doing modeling and mechanic work, wow femme model on car soooo original /s 🙃so at this point in time she was actually a ✨Girl’s Girl✨™️, or at least pretended like it well enough lol, and was friends with some other blue collar girlies. She said she’d help them start their own OFs if they wanted and one took her up on that offer. Idk what happened exactly but TF started accusing said girl that she was copying her and taking her business. And like this was all so funny to me because like this just gave me DeviantArt sparkledog furry drama circa. 2007, like legit “yOu CaNt PaInT yOuR cAr PuRpLe!!11 YoU cOpIeD!!!!2!11!” Like bro this is straight up “you copied my design because you also have stripes on your tail” like day one internet shit, get with it girl. But also this is funny too because I seen her at that time basically copy someone else’s video like cmon. So anyways that basically made their friendship implode on itself and she has since then had a vengeance on this poor girl lol so here’s the nutty part, TF will constantly say “this girl is always copying everything I do, I saw her doing XYZ” which like is kinda inconspicuous when you hear it but then it’s like wait, you say you do not like this person, you try and avoid them, so on and w/e so it’s like wait,,, HOW do you know that??🤨unless you’re checking out her page and following what she does 👀 sussy. And like the other gal she’s cool and nice, we’ll call her GG, but I NEVER see her saying SHIT about TF unless TF did something like get her page flagged or something, which I feel is normal. And like mind yall this has been going on for over the span of years. So being an outside spectator to this all I seriously think TF is projecting onto GG, at least with the “oooh you stalking my page waaah” like girl idk you the only one posting videos about someone else 👀and also I feel like TF feels like I wanna say attacked but not really, maybe more like GG makes TF feel inadequate? But like I feel like seeing GG’s journey it’s what TF have strived for, like GG was a dealer mechanic, and now has her own shop with her mans and their friend. Like TF has only ever worked at like quick lube places and I think very very briefly at a custom shop or something. Like a month or less. And while I can say TF can perform the work, she is not what I would consider a high level mechanic. Like you just realistically have not seen that many cars, you’re not going to see the normal stuff that comes into places you’re not going to have that experience. Yeah working on your own stuff gives you skills a dealer or shop won’t but there’s far more you’ll learn in a shop, and I feel like deep down she knows that and feels threatened by it. Cause like girl why the hell else would you be paying so close attention to this game that you’d clown on her miscarrying like brruuuuuhhhhh you did not have tooooooooo 🥴🥴🥴that VIDEO could’ve stayed in the drafts😶 the fact she made a video too is big YIKES. But wow yeah it’s nutty asf, reality is stranger than fiction

[anonxconfession]

Not My Confession:

I live in a small town so this is a throw away confession. I don't want anyone from my redneck republican town to find out.

So there's this person who I will call "Laxative" or Lax for short, because everything that came out of their mouth was like the most vile diarrhea.

So Lax has always enjoyed a privileged life, their mom makes enough money to give them everything and anything and Lax is a spoiled privileged brat with a white savior complex. Unfortunately, due to not having the privilege of having a mother that loved me nor a family that wanted me I became homeless for a while and Lax had a partner who I will call "Christian" since he was a toxic Christian.

Anyway, Christian and I were friends before I found out about his toxic nature and at one point I'd been left homeless again due to the abusive partner of the person I'd been living with and I'd been forced out again. (That's a whole story for another time but long story short despite being Ace Aro women for some reason think I'm trying to steal their bfs??? Yall are barking up the literal wrong treat lol)

So Christian takes me in and he has me live with Lax and their older parent (Lax is an adult don't get it twisted because they lie about their age online and say they're 16 when they're actually 25 which is super weird in my opinion but they sent their followers after me once so I need to cover my bases) and their parent I think is also an alcoholic but that's a whole other thing.

Anyway so I lived with Lax and their parent for years as they abused me, told me my mental illness "wasn't real" because "you don't experience it the same way I do so I think you're lying" yeah that was a real thing said to me. And after all of that Christian tries to get me to be poly with him and Lax and I just... I'm Ace Aro you guys I'm not doing that.

So Lax gets super offended at their husband but obviously blames me DESPITE THE FACT THAT IM ACE ARO AND WANT NONE OF THIS, and they accuse me of killing and poisoning their cat which they lie to the parent about and once again I'm on the street.

Thankfully after that I was basically adopted by my now Bonus Mom but this entire 3 or 4 year abuse has left me with no friends in this tiny ass backwards town and they friends I shared with Lax and Christian have lied about me to the entire nerd community up here so I'll never have any friends out here... these people who have the money and privilege to ruin my life and then just leave town...

Honestly I'm glad Christian left Lax and took the baby they deserve all the suffering after they went through all this trouble to abuse me only yo leave town.... they can leave and make new friends but I can't leave and they ruined any chance of me having friends out here....

Witches feel free to curse them they deserve it.

I'm so fucking done with these backwards thinking redneck losers.