#im literally keeping this to myself bc my dad hasnt watched the episode yet and i accidentally spoiled mum bc

[brokenhardies]

Deja Vu - A Life on Mars Drabble

Set during the Power of the Doctor regeneration scene, spoilers for that episode and the regeneration scene, as well as several other eras of Doctor Who

TW: Paternal death (referenced), grief.

Word Count: 1187

Taglist

@darth-caillic​ @sterling-writes​ @ryutabas​ @reirvival​ @arrthurpendragon​ @foxesandmagic​​ (want to be added or removed? send an ask or a dm!)

Jane brushed her black hair back, possibly praying with a touch she could change it back to blonde. Her mother was going to change, she knew this. And there was definitely nothing she could do about it. Regeneration was messy, when her dad became her mum the TARDIS got destroyed, with Jane sent on a collision course far away from her mother. She didn’t get to meet Yaz, or Graham, or Ryan, or find out about the whole ‘Tim Shaw’ thing until they found themselves on that Impossible Planet. Other times it ended with the TARDIS spinning out of control, or - in one very embarrassing case she never let him forget - her dad forgetting how to fly the ship, meaning she had to take control of the controls. And considering at the time she was in the form of - what amounted to - a 10-year-old boy, that was already a struggle as is. 

However, this time… This time felt painful. And she wasn’t sure why. She’d been around for a while – remembering after the Raven how she was brought back to life as herself, how she travelled with her dad and Bill and Nardole, before moving on to her mother and the ‘fam’ as she had called them. It was almost like she was certain that… She was next. Most of her previous incarnations had never lasted as long, and she’d lost count. Was this how her mother felt? Jane sighed, looking up from the seat of the TARDIS as she saw her mother turn to the door. She frowned. She wasn’t sure where they landed, if it was on Earth or in outer space.

“Y-You’re leaving me?” She whispered, causing her mother to face her. Her smile was weak, it was clear she was holding all the energy back. 

“Nah, nah, ‘m never gonna leave you, Janey.” She grinned, running to Jane and bending down, scooping her up in a massive hug. Jane had to physically hold back tears. 

Even after discovering the truth of the Timeless Child, she and this incarnation of her mother were as thick as thieves. It was almost like they were sisters instead of mother and daughter. Or parent and child, whatever the case would be. She was closer to this version of her mother than she ever was to any other version of her. Well, except for one, the first one she met all those years ago, when Sarah Jane and her investigated that school at the same time as he did. She pulled back, looking up at the Doctor, her wild, unhinged smile almost infectious.

“I-It isn’t a goodbye, right?” Jane stuttered, “It’s a… ‘See you later’? Right?”

To which the Doctor nodded. “Yeah…” She smiled, “It’s a see you later. Anyway, gotta go. Need to get the new Doctor ready.” 

And she left, leaving Jane in the TARDIS alone. She sat down, holding her legs towards her chest. It never got any easier, she knew that. From watching him, in pain, pull himself together as he screamed from 10 to 11… To the sudden shock of 11 to 12, in one swift, almost sneeze-like movement… To 13, appearing in a blaze of glory that took out the TARDIS and nearly took Jane out. But, this time, the Doctor clearly wanted to be alone. Jane frowned, slowly standing up as she heard the familiar buzzing of regeneration energy, muffled behind the door. 

“I wanna see what happens next!” The Doctor exclaimed, almost sad in a way. Her voice was muffled by the door of the TARDIS, as Jane leant against where the phone itself would’ve been kept. Then, she heard the Doctor sigh, before hearing her speak once more.

“Alright,” She said, “Doctor Whoever-I’m-About-To-Be. Tag; you’re it.” 

And that’s when the explosion of light happened. Jane felt the heat from where she was standing, it almost scalded the door she was behind. Considering the power of regeneration energy could destroy TARDIS’s and wipe out Nazi guards – thanks River – it made the most sense. It was exothermic in reaction, with heat and energy being pushed through a body as a form changed. Maybe curiosity had gotten the better of her, because Jane didn’t want to be stuck behind a door for the last bit, she wanted to see who the Doctor - her father, her mother, her parent, whoever they may be once this is over - became. 

But when she pulled the door open, she was hit with a surprise. The Doctor’s clothes didn’t change before? She noticed the golden regeneration energy absorb her mother’s outfit, the flouncy pants, suspenders, navy crop top and pale blue jacket being absorbed into a suit, a pair of dusty trainers on their feet and a navy trenchcoat flapping in the wind caused by the regeneration. They had probably become a ‘he’ again, Jane thought, seeing the much more masculine hands that appeared out of the sleeves of the trenchcoat twitch slightly… 

But when the energy stopped, Jane had to hold her breath. The figure standing before her, in the suit, was tall and quite thin. Almost matchstick in proportions. Light olive skin trailed up his body, with light stubble dusting his cheeks. There was an almost cockatoo esq quaff of brown hair that sprouted out the top of his head. And that should’ve been the point Jane realized. Something was wrong here. Instead, it took her a few seconds for her father to open his mouth before it clicked. He paused, sucking in his lips and rubbing his tongue around his mouth, before he suddenly spoke.

“I know those teeth.”

And Jane knew that voice. There was a second that he viewed his features, a hand covering his mouth and rubbing against the stubble as he looked at the hand in shock and awe. He then raised the other one, facing the palms down to look at the backs, eyes wide.

“What?” 

Then he noticed his outfit had changed, quickly doing a scan of the material as Jane slowly stumbled out of the TARDIS and onto the cliffside alongside him. Her eyes were also wide as she quickly put two and two together. Had that ever happened before? She wouldn’t know, even though she’d regenerated 3 times before, she wasn’t as knowledgeable about it as he was.

“What?!” He repeated, voice hushed but still recognisable. Finally, he ran his hands across his face, feeling the details that had become foreign to him after centuries past. 

Jane remembered. The last time the Earth saw this Doctor was Christmas 2010, when he saved London - and the world - from the resurrected Master and his ‘Master race’. He’d only had a few years as the Doctor, compared to other Doctors who walked the Earth or got stuck in time loops or fast-aging planets or whatever. He’d lost so much in a short span of time, Rose, Donna, Martha, Wilfred, Jenny… He turned to face her, as if trying to see if she was seeing or hearing the same that he was, to which they both responded with the exact same thing.

“What?!” 

How the hell did someone regenerate backwards?