#im literally gonna get a glass of wine to celebrate

[crowcoven]

GREAT DAY FOR ANNOYING PEOPLE

[watchmegetobsessed]

Grammy Winner Husband - Harry Styles

a/n: okay, yall know im a suckr for dad content and i just needed to write this little fluffy thing. also MY BABY IS A GRAMMY WINNER IM SO PROUD OF HIM and also, Sarah and Mitch are gonna be parents???? my heart can’t take all this *sigh*

pairing: Husband!Harry / Dad!Harry x Pregnant!Reader

word count: 1.3k

masterlist

“Congratulations once again, Harry. This Grammy looks great on you,” the interviewer compliments the grinning man who still very much feels like he is in a dream and his phone could start ringing anytime, ending this ethereal feeling of becoming what was only a dream when he was just a boy.

“Thank you,” he cracks a humbled smile.

“How are you gonna celebrate? Popping all the champagnes?”

“Honestly?” he sighs. “I just really want to kiss my wife, that’s gonna be my celebration,” he chuckles shyly, making every woman close to him swoon at his sweetness.

He accepts all the congratulations, the little shiny golden award weighing in his hands, not letting it out of his sight as he makes his way to the back to change his outfit back to something casual instead of the bold statements he has been making all night with his boas.

“Good night, Harry. Tell Y/N I said hi!” Sarah runs a hand down his back, grabbing his attention immediately. She’s gotten rid of her leather bodysuit as well, wearing just jeans and an oversized t-shirt, but her bump is making an appearance in it regardless. Mitch is holding his girlfriend’s other hand, their bags occupying his other as he smiles back at Harry with proud, shining eyes.

“Good night, you guys. Drive safe and thank you for tonight.” Harry pulls her into yet another hug, careful not to hold her too tight.

“Good night, see you soon,” him and Mitch share a quick hug as well, patting each other on the back before stepping back. Sarah’s hand runs down her belly, an instinctive motion Harry has seen quite often lately and not just from her and it reminds him how badly he just wants to get home to you finally.

While most performers and winners are probably out for some celebrations, champagnes must flow all directions, Harry quickly loads his things in his car and heads home to the one person he would ever want to celebrate with. It’s late, way past midnight by the time he arrives home and he has a guess where to find you.

Being the angel that you are, you left the lights on for him so he doesn’t have to blindly make his way to the bedroom. He kicks off his boots, drops his bag to the couch in the living room, placing the award on the dining table before padding down the hallway, the muffled sound of the TV and the strobbing lights of the screen still on in there, illuminating the doorway. He pushes the door that’s ajar open more, his smile immediately widening as he sees you curled up under the sheets, the TV remote still in your hands, your phone lying on the pillow next to your head while you’re fast asleep.

You swore you wouldn’t have problem staying up this late, but Harry knew it was not gonna happen, especially because ever since you’ve reached your third trimester bedtime was moved to seven o’clock, no exceptions.

Harry takes a second to adorn the beauty he has the luck to call his wife, before he quietly tiptoes into the bathroom connected to the bedroom to quickly wash up and get ready to his way of celebration: holding his pregnant wife in bed, falling asleep smelling your shampoo and maybe feeling a few tiny kicks under his palms.

Following a speedy shower he brushes his teeth, washing away the taste of that one glass of champagne he allowed for himself, he has been very restricted when it comes to alcohol ever since you found out you’re pregnant. Partially because he wants to take solidarity with you, having to say no to a good wine whenever you’re out for dinner, or a beer you occasionally drank with him while watching a movie. But he also feels like alcohol would just take away memories from his brain he wants to cherish forever.

Lifting the covers he tries to slip into bed next to you as gently and quietly as possible so you don’t wake up, but the moment the mattress sinks in under his weight, your eyes flutter open, blinking up at him sleepily as you register what’s really happening.

“Oh shit, you’re back! I really wanted to be awake when you arrive!” you pout at him as his arms curl around you, pulling you to him gently, his smiling lips pressing a kiss to your forehead.

“It’s alright, baby. I know how tired you always are.”

“Yeah, but my man won a fucking Grammy! I wanted to jump at you the moment you walk in,” you giggle, nuzzling your head into the crook of his neck. “I’m so proud of you, baby. Congrats!”

“Thank you,” he smirks blushing softly. He is still not used to the title he has earned today.

“You looked so hot on stage, that leather suit was awesome,” you grin, cupping his face, turning it towards you so you can see his bright, shining eyes.

“Yeah? You liked it?” he shyly asks, his finger grazing on your belly, tickling you a little in hopes the little one inside is still up, or went to sleep just like his mommy. “Mm, loved it,” you grin, pulling him down for a sweet kiss, one he was waiting all night to finally get. “And I love you.”

“Love you too, baby,” he hums against your lips, his palm coming to connect with your bump. “How are you feeling?” he asks, nuzzling his nose against yours.

He knows how this third trimester has been on you, the swelling and back pains killing you but you never complained as much as he knew you could have. He admired your strength all through this pregnancy, from the way you handled morning sickness, all the mood swings and changes in your body to the point where you are now carrying a literal watermelon at this point, having left only three more weeks until the baby arrives.

“I’m good, a little hungry maybe, but what’s new,” you chuckle.

“You want me to make you something?” he asks right away, ready to get out of bed to make you a sandwich or bake you cookies even if that’s what you wanted. But you push him down back shaking your head at him.

“It’s fine, I can wait until the morning. I just want to kiss my Grammy winner husband stupid right now,” you grin before leaving a sloppy kiss on his chest, chin, nose and finally, his lips. Pecking your lips a few times he makes you lie on your back as he slides down and pushing your shirt up, his adorning eyes fall to your belly, hands coming to gently cup it.

“Hey there, little one,” he murmurs as he leans closer and kisses your stretched out skin just above your belly button.

“He hasn’t moved in a while, think he’s asleep,” you smile, fingers running through his curls as you watch him pepper your belly with more feather-like kisses. Harry has been ecstatic since you found out you’re having a boy, though he would have been just the same if it was a girl.

“S’alright, I’m just gonna wish him goodnight,” he smiles, pressing his cheek against your bump before he kisses it one last time, pulling the shirt back down over it. Climbing up he pulls you back into his arms, knowing how much you like being held normally, but since you’ve fallen pregnant, you’ve become especially cuddly, which he doesn’t mind a bit.

“I love you, H. So proud of you,” you huff, feeling your eyes closing. Harry grabs the remote and turns the TV off, placing it to his nightstand along with your phone before kissing the top of your head.

“Love you too. Thank you for being here for me,” he huffs, the smile never leaving his lips. He has never felt happier and more complete ever in his life.

“Always,” you whisper before drifting back to sleep.

Thank you for reading, please like and reblog if you enjoyed it!

[itsallyscorner]

okay so I love littlemix!reader x Tom holland??? the best pairing ever??? Anyways could you do something based of Holiday, like it’s obviously based off their lovers and maybe his reaction to the song & mv? Pls I’m in love with Baby Mix btw 😌❤️

Glad you’re enjoying the Little Mix member!reader x Tom Holland fics, I’m enjoying them too🥰 Thank you for the support on Baby Mix, btw, I appreciate it! Sorry for taking so long! Much love and happy reading💖

💌.

Holiday

I completely forgot when the girls dropped the video so I’m making up a time. Enjoy:)

Counting down the minutes to midnight, Tom continuously refreshed the YouTube app on your smart tv. The two of your were in his shared home with Harry, Harrison, and Tuwaine. You’ve been staying with the lot since the beginning of quarantine; London’s travel ban prevented you from catching a flight back home to your family, resulting in your boyfriend, Tom, begging you to stay with him and his mates. You didn’t have a problem with it in all honesty, the boys were great and respectful roommates. Though you were the only woman in the house, they provided you with entertainment and respected your alone time. They were a nice group of lads, letting you in on inside jokes and making you feel like you were part of the gang. By now, you probably were part of the gang. Harrison even considered on replacing Tom with you.

“Bubs, the video’s not gonna be up yet.” You glance at the screen that showed the previous videos the band’s channel posted. Tom huffed, nudging your arms apart so he can squeeze through them to lay on your chest. The two of you were currently in his room waiting for the release of Holiday’s music video. Tom had been anticipating the video all day, asking for hints about the music video’s concept and wondering how it looked.

With his body snuggled up against yours, he rested his head on your chest and wrapped his arm around your torso. His other hand reached towards the tv with the remote as he clicked the video for Break Up Song.

“I know it’s not gonna be up yet, but what if they accidentally uploaded it early? I wanna see the video already.” He whined. His fingers began to drum to the beat of Break Up Song on your stomach.

You laughed, fingers carding through his brown curls that have grown for the past months. He hums along to the song while you text the girls. He lets out a chuckle once he sees you on the screen doing the dance that he’s been helping you learn for the video. You had been struggling to get the choreography down and doing the moves on time. Noticing your desperate attempts at the moves, Tom offered to help you. Obviously in the end you perfected the choreography, seeing as it made the video, thanks to Tom.

“You are so cute.” He mused watching you dance around in the video. “Look at you dance, I don’t know what you were so worried about. You look so adorable when you dance and look at your face! Just wanna squish those cheeks together.” He began to tease you. You whine his name out as he reached up to squish your cheeks together with his hand. Your phone began to rang causing him to stop. He glances at the sceeen, “It’s my best friend, lemme answer it.”

“Go ahead.” You giggled handing him your phone. His head remains on your chest as he answers the FaceTime call. Jesy pops up on the screen with a giant smile but it drops once she sees Tom, changing into a playful scowl.

“Hi best friend!” Tom greets her loudly, a playful grin on his face. Jesy rolls her eyes at the boy.

“Hi Tom.” She greeted him sarcastically. “Give the phone to (y/n).”

“She’s right here, see,” Tom moved the phone further away so you were both in the frame. You waved at her, “Jess I miss you!” You cried.

“I miss you too darling—Tom give her the bloody phone!” Jesy scolded him through the phone. He let out a dramatic sigh before handing you your phone and snuggling into your stomach, mumbling something about “not being able to catch a break from the constant bullying of Jesy Nelson.”

“Right just a few minutes left, I’m trying to get the other girls on here.” Jesy explained as she tapped around her phone. Sooner or later. The two of you were joined by Perrie, Jade, and Leigh-Anne.

Perrie let out a squeal as she saw everyone on the screen, “You guys I miss you so much!”

“Didn’t we all see each other just a few weeks ago?” Jade asked sipping on a glass of wine as per usual.

“Yeah, on the set, but it’s a few weeks too long.” You pouted. You noticed that everyone was drinking except for you, “Wait, has everyone got a drink except for me?”

Leigh-Anne’s eyes scanned everyone on the screen, “You are, are you in bed already? It’s so early babe.”

“Leigh-Anne’s it’s literally about to be midnight, it’s late.” Jesy chimes. Jade makes a sound of disagreement, “I mean does time even matter anymore?”

“What day is it anyway? I’ve lost track.” Perrie thought out loud. You moved to get up from the bed but Tom stopped you. “Where are you going?” He whispered.

“I’m getting a drink, I’ll be back.” You patted his cheek before sitting up. He stops you once again and stands from the bed, “I’ll get you one.” He kisses your temple and leaves the room.

“Aww, was that Tom?” Jade asked leaning closer to her camera. You hummed, “Yup, being the amazing boyfriend he is and getting me a drink.”

Perrie smirked at you, “Gosh, there’s that smile again. She’s whipped for ‘im ladies!” The girls began “ooo-ing” like a bunch of elementary school girls. “Guys, stop.” You whine.

“Have you told him the part you wrote was inspired by him?” Leigh-Anne asked, chin in her palm.

“No, I’ll tell him while he’s watching. He’s been so excited the whole day, probably more than me.” You chuckle. As if on cue, Tom comes back in with a bottle of champagne and two glasses.

“Tom’s going to be so nerdy about it, like a cute nerdy, you know what I mean? All mushy gushy. Like how he gets whenever (y/n) kisses his cheeks.” Jesy said as the girls cooed. Tom peeks from beside you.

“Did I hear that correctly? Did Jesy just compliment me?” He asked everyone, looking back at you for confirmation. You shrugged as you looked at Jesy. Jade stifled a laugh at Jesy’s annoyed expression.

“Oh fuck off you div. It’s an observation. You could barely compose yourself whenever you’re around (y/n).” Jesy playfully jabs at him. You adored their friendship, it was like a brother/sister bond. Jesy being the older sibling and Tom being the annoying little brother.

“Jes, leave the poor boy alone, he makes our baby happy.” Perrie defended Tom. Tom smiles thankfully at her, “Thank you Perrie, at least I know some of you like me.”

Tom pops open the champagne and takes one of the glasses to pour the beverage in, “But I’ll take it as a compliment Jes. Cheers to that.” He raises his glass and clinks it with your phone screen. You and the girls continue to talk until midnight. When the video was finally released you all celebrated and took some screenshots of each other to post later.

When your FaceTime call with the girls ended, you turned to Tom, who already had the video up on the screen. He made grabby hands at you and pulled you to sit in between his legs. With his back against the headboard he made sure the two of you were comfy before asking you, “Can I click play now?”

You chuckled at him as his leg bounced, “Yup.” He pressed play, placing the remote down and wrapping his arm around your front to pull you closer to him. The intro to the video starts, the title of the song appearing on the screen in a water type font. Jesy pops up on the screen singing her part, Tom cheers yelling “It’s my best friend!”

Tom hypes each of the girls up while they appear on the screen, cheering their names. When the chorus comes, his brows furrow as he looks down at you. “Wait where are you? Why—why didn’t they show you yet?” He questioned you, visibly upset. You were about to answer but instead pointed to the screen when you realized your part was coming up.

Boy, have I told ya?

You give it to me like no other guy

We got that heat, yeah, like the summer (summer)

And that's why I'm so glad I made you mine

You appeared on the screen, body cladded in a white bikini that had gold straps for both the bra and thong. You bursted out laughing when you saw Tom’s reaction. His eyes look like they were about to bulge out his head while his jaw was slacked.

“Holy...shit.” He mumbled eyes glued to the screen as you sang. The scene was you in that blue hallway type set. You looked at the camera, bedroom eyes fully activated as your back slid down the wall. You felt his grip around you tighten, his breathing getting deeper.

The scene changed to the one with the planets, sculptures, and lounging chairs. You were seen walking towards a Chaise lounge, giving the camera a perfect view of your bum. While you sat sideways on the couch in the video, Tom couldn’t help but think about how gorgeous you looked in the video. You looked like a goddess, confident as you strutted around in that little number of yours in the video.

You turned to look at him once your part was done and pressed a kiss to his jaw. “You know my whole part was about you right?” His head snaps to look at you, “You wrote something about me in a song?”

“Tommy, I always do. Who else would I be singing about?” You asked him amused. He took a second to think before shaking his head, “I thought it was in general, like it was based on how you would feel if you were with someone that made you feel that way.”

You nod at his explanation, “Well yeah, the fans could see it that way. But when I sing it, it’s about you.”

A goofy grin made its way to his face before he giggled, “It’s about me.” He pulled you into a hug from behind and rested his chin on your shoulder. He turned back to the tv to see you all dressed as mermaids while you sang your part in the chorus.

“Wait what—you’re mermaids?” The look of confusion appeared on his face again as he tried to figure out the video. He looked at you then back to the screen, repeating the action a few times.

“I never thought I’d say this, but if you were a mermaid, I’d still fuck you.” He confessed with a shrug. You bursted out laughing at his confession, “How do you even fuck a mermaid, Tom?”

His hands gripped your sides, voice going down an octave, “You tell me, (y/n). Get the mermaid tail back and we’ll find out.” You looked at him shocked, “Thomas!”

He laughed dropping the act and went back to watching the music video. “Wait, I’m still cofused. I thought you guys were in space cause of the planets and stuff. Why are you guys also underwater? And mermaids?” You tilted your head trying to come up with an answer for him.

“Um—it’s a spa, on a another planet, which also has an ocean I’m guessing, and that’s why we’re also mermaids?” You explained, also questioning yourself.

“I like the concept, probably the most random video you guys have had, but it’s sick.” He approved of the video with an impressed look on his face. When the video ended, he immediately pressed replay. Though when your part came up this time he let out a “GOD DAMN” before his eyes scanned you up and down. When he finally felt like he’s processed the music video, he let it play in the background and paid attention to you.

He leaned down to kiss your lips sweetly, “Love, that was amazing. I’m proud of you.” He was quick to add on, “And thank you for writing a part of the song about me, I never thought someone would write a song about me, not even a part. But thank you, I love you so much.”

You giggled shoving your face into his neck as you both moved to cuddling. Suddenly you remembered something you and the boys promised to do.

“Tom! We were supposed to watch the video with the other boys! Remember we promised to not watch it without them?” You leaned back to look at Tom who was already shaking his head.

“Oh they’re not allowed to watch the video.” He muttered. Your brows furrow at him. Tom motions to the tv, the part where your bum was facing the camera on the screen.

“Because of that, I don’t need them seeing that, that’s mine.” One of his hands trail down the length of your back to grip your ass. He rolled over so he was on top of you, dipping his head into your neck, his lips ghosted fluttery kisses along your skin. You let out a content sigh, running your hands through his soft hair. When his lips reached your ear, he whispered, “But seriously though, you should think about investing in a mermaid tail.”

[loveelle]

Win a Date

Alive!Luke Patterson x Reader AU

Request from Anon: AHHHH!! Carrie (y/n’s step-sister) decides to enter her into a “win a date contest” as a joke for rockstar Luke Patterson (who she can’t stand) and she ends up wining and has to go on a date with. Bonus points if Carrie is a die hard Luke Patterson fan. Ohh also! He kind of starts to peruse her (in like cute/“hey if everyone likes me, you will too” kind of way/shows up at her school/hang out/writes songs with her... etc) and get her to see that he isn’t just another stuck up celebrity?

A/N: Heh, the way this is 7K words of nonsense lolol please someone send help cause it’s 5 am and I can’t stop writing in the middle of the night (RIP to Reggie and Alex who I literally don’t think I mentioned once) PLEASE EXCUSE THE SHITTY SONG LYRICS PLS IM NOT A SONG WRITER I TRIED

WC: 6969 (I’m not kidding. It was exact. DOUBLE NICE)

MASTER

---

You sat in front of your mirror, narrowing your eyes at your reflection. 2 hours of sleep didn’t look good on you but you didn’t care. The door to your room swung open and Carrie stepped inside, her nose buried in her phone as you stared at her. “Can I help you?”

She held up a finger at you making you raise your brows and turn in your seat to face her. “We’re going to be late so you have to-“ her words cut off as she glanced up at you giving you a good look, “What happened to you?”

You laughed, glancing over to your bed where all your books laid about from staying up all night studying. “Don’t even ask.” You muttered and stood up slowly, stretching your back while you were at it and grabbing your bag. “Okay, let’s go.” You ushered her to the door but she just blinked at you.

“You’re not going to run a brush through that?” She gestured to your hair.

You huffed, running a hand through your hair a few times before smiling at her. “Better?”

She rolled her eyes but smiled at you. “Come on, we’re going to be late.” You locked arms with her and you left your room, skipping down the stairs to see your step-dad in the kitchen pouring his smoothie into a glass. “Bye, dad.” Carrie called out, getting his attention.

“Bye, Trevor.” You grabbed your keys before hearing Trevor call back to you both. Carrie and you jumped in your car, she was still texting away as you rolled your eyes. “How’s Dirty Candy? You guys ready for the assembly today?”

She hummed, but she didn’t look up from her phone. “It’s gonna be great. Probably the best performance we’ve ever done.”

You clicked your tongue. “I don’t know, your last one was pretty amazing.”

She finally looked up, offering you a smile. “You know, there’s always a spot for you. It’s yours if you’ll take it.” You stopped at a light, sharing a glance with your sister but she just sighed. “I know, I know. Dirty Candy doesn’t really fit your image.”

“Car, it’s not that-“

“Y/N, It’s okay. Besides, it’s better this way.” You furrowed your brows as she shrugged. “You have two left feet.” Your jaw dropped at her playful jab as she turned back to her phone.

Carrie snuck a smirk at you and you focused on driving again until a Twitter notification chimed through her phone telling her that Luke Patterson, her all-time favorite singer, had posted something. She squealed catching your attention as she frantically opened the app.

She expected a funny comment, a picture of him and his friends, or a new song when she opened the post, but she was greeted with something far better.

It was a link to a website and the top of the site said: “Win a Date”. Carrie swore her eyes popped out of her head and her jaw would’ve hit the floor had it not been attached to her face.

I’m so entering, she told herself as she began to fill out an entry, well aware this was the only day you could enter.

“What are you doing?” You questioned as you pulled into the school parking lot and got out of the car, seeing Carrie stay seated.

“Luke Patterson is hosting a win a date contest and I’m entering.” She told you mindlessly as you scrunched your nose.

“Luke Patterson? That stupid musician you’re obsessed with?”

Her head snapped your way. “I’m not obsessed with him!”

Smirking, you leaned into your car and whispered at her. “Tell that to his poster hanging above your bed which, by the way, I still suggest you burn.”

“Just because you don’t have good taste in music, doesn’t mean I don’t.” You had to hold yourself from scoffing. Luke Patterson? Good music? As if.

Leaving her with a wink, Carrie watched you walk away and an idea popped into her head. An idea that mainly served as a joke on you but still doubled her chances at meeting Luke. Turning back to her phone, she finished her entry before reloading the page and starting again, only this time she was entering your name.

Carrie hadn’t stopped thinking about the contest all day, since the moment she signed you both up. She knew she had very slim odds, but someone had to win. Why couldn’t that person be her? Or even you? Only to see your reaction, Carrie secretly hoped for the latter.

---

Later that night, you laid in your pajamas sprawled out across your bed. You had an English essay you were in the middle of, several hours spent writing and deleting until finally, you decided it was enough. Walking out of your room, you passed by Carrie’s hearing the muffled sound of one of Luke Patterson’s songs with his old band, Sunset Curve. You could hear Carrie singing right along with it and you paused grimacing at the fact your sister still listened to him.

Trevor was sitting on the couch as you came out, watching TV and flipping around on the channels. “You’re still up?” he asked and you hummed a yes.

“It’s barely midnight. Besides, how I could sleep with Carrie next door listening to her boyfriend’s songs.” You rolled your eyes at your step-sister. Trevor chuckled, pushing himself up to join you in the kitchen.

He leaned over the counter, watching as you got some water. “So, Carrie was telling me about that competition with that singer.” He began as you laughed under your breath.

“Yeah, that win a date contest.” You snickered again. It sounded like such a cheesy idea. Just another way for some celebrity to get people talking about them. The competition was probably rigged anyways. Some cute surface level girl would win and fawn over Luke Patterson all night, much like he probably wanted. You’ve seen interviews of him- well, Carrie forced you to watch interviews of him- and he seemed exactly how you predicted, some cocky boy-band-turned-solo-act singer who thinks he’s the best. That’s where your dislike for him sprouted. “Carrie almost screamed in the car today when she found out. I swear, only Patterson makes her act that way.”

Trevor huffed another laugh as he pushed himself up, turning back to the kitchen and you heard his footsteps pad away as you poured yourself some water from the fridge. “I gotta say, I was surprised that you let her sign you up for it. Didn’t think you were into him.”

The water spilled briefly as you took Trevor’s words in shock. Carrie signed you up? Carrie signed you up. Of course, she did! She probably thought it would increase her chances. Or maybe she did it to mess with you. God, you wouldn’t put it past her.

You didn’t say another word as you retreated to your room and passed Trevor with a smile on your way. You passed Carrie’s room with a glare and jumped on your bed, burying your face in your pillow as you groaned. You had plenty of things on your mind already, you didn’t need to think about some contest with an artist you couldn’t stand.

“Why Carrie? Why?!” you shouted, removing the pillow and staring at the ceiling. You were furious, but you tried to keep yourself calm. There wasn’t a chance you would actually win, was there? Surely hundreds, if not thousands, of people entered for a date.

Opening your laptop back up, you searched Luke’s twitter up and clicked on the link he posted. The webpage took way too long for your nerves to load until finally, you saw his picture pop onto your screen, followed by all the information to enter. You started reading through the information the contest provided.

Lottery Winner

Ages 16-18

Public Date

Enter before midnight

You glanced at your clock, seeing 11:58 staring you back as you took a deep breath. 2 more minutes until the contest was over.

1 more minute.

Midnight.

You refreshed the page and the contest was over, no longer allowing anyone else to enter. You didn’t know why you sat there, staring at the illuminated screen for so long; it wasn’t like the winner was going to be announced right then. You weren’t safe yet. You closed your laptop rather harshly, tossing it onto a chair near your bed as you crawled under the blanket. With a final grunt, your light was off and you were trying to sleep, ignoring the buzzing in the back of your brain with the constant knowledge that your name was entered in a competition to go on a date with Luke Patterson, of all people.

Curse you, Carrie.

---

The night seemed to pass in a blink of an eye as your alarm went off, followed by a slap of your hand to your phone to make it stop. “Oh god.” You mumbled, rubbing your hands over your face as you remembered what Carrie had done. You got ready for school in record time, already planning on avoiding and not talking to anyone as you laced up your shoes and walked out the front door.

“Wait for me!” Carrie yelled out the front door but you kept walking, barely turning your head to speak back to her.

“Catch a ride with Kayla.”

“What? Why?” You finally stopped, looking back to see her standing in the doorway in her pajamas.

“Oh, I don’t know? Payback for entering me in that Win-A-Date contest, maybe?” Carrie’s face fell as you smirked. “Better call Kayla!” you laughed and jumped in your car, driving out of the driveway before Carrie could protest again.

You knew you had an hour to kill as you pulled up to the school, so you did what any normal kid would do and camped out in the music room, hiding behind the instruments. You pulled out your favorite book and started reading to waste time.

“Boo!” your head snapped up as you jumped, seeing Julie Molina laughing at you.

“That’s not funny.” You grumbled at your friend, sticking a hand out for her to help you up.

“It’s a little.” She nudged your shoulder with hers as you mocked her, not able to hide a smile, and your plan to avoid people went right in the trash. You couldn’t ignore Julie.

“How’d you find me?” you asked as Julie stuck your book into your bag for you.

“It’s pretty easy when this is the only place you hide.”

You shot her a look, rolling your eyes as Flynn appeared by your side. “Hiding in the music room again?” She asked as you threw your hands in the air.

“I don’t always hide in the music room!” you exclaimed despite knowing they were correct. The two girls shared a look before locking arms with you and leading you out of the room. As soon as you were out, you could hear a commotion coming from outside, several kids going to investigate it and the three of you did as well.

It wasn’t often Los Feliz High school had someone famous pull up right outside, but today wasn’t just any other day. Luke trusted his manager, Caleb, completely, but when he brought up the idea of a “Win-A-Date with Luke Patterson”, he began to worry that his manager was losing it. Of course, Caleb assured him that it was a joke and the boy was not expected to do such a thing and of course, it only made Luke want to do the thing. Now, Luke couldn’t keep his leg from bouncing as his car pulled up to the high school the winner attended. He didn’t know much about her, only a picture of what she looked like and her name.

Y/N Y/L/N.

The car stopped and he took a deep breath, putting on a smile as he stepped outside. “Hey everybody!” he said to the already cheering crowd, which only made them cheer louder. His smile turned real at the welcome of his fans who always made him feel loved.

Caleb started doing the talking to people, telling them why they were here as Luke scanned the crowd. He knew you were here, Caleb called ahead to your house and they spoke to your stepfather who told them you already arrived at school. Now it was just a matter of finding you. As soon as you stepped outside with Julie and Flynn on your arms, Luke’s eyes found you. Your brows were furrowed as you most likely were trying to understand why the commotion.

He knew he should’ve waited for Caleb, but he couldn’t help himself. He started forwards and the crowd separated for him because of Luke’s gaze that was cast past them.

“Oh my god, he’s coming this way!” Julie cheered through her teeth as you looked at her, still confused as to what was happening.

“Who is? What’s-“

Your speech was cut off by Luke stopping right in front of you, Julie and Flynn’s grip on your arms dropping as they stepped behind you, cheering with each other as you looked from them to the boy in front of you with the smile that could melt hearts. Just not yours.

“Hey. I’m Luke.” He began as you stared at him, your face stoic as you looked down to his outstretched hand.

“Uh, yeah. I know.” You replied, not caring how disinterested you sounded. In that second as you looked past him, seeing all the dirty looks thrown your way from girls and boys alike did you realize what was happening. “Oh my god, please tell me I didn’t win the date with you.” you blurted out before thinking.

Luke’s smile never faltered as he nodded and hummed a yes. “Congratulations Y/N.” He said and you had to hold back an eye roll. Congratulations? To be allowed to date him? How arrogant.

You could’ve said something, anything really, but instead, your feet acted on impulse and you pushed back through the crowd until you were safe in your spot in the music room once again.

You should’ve known with your luck that you would win. Why, out of everyone who actually liked that Rockstar, did you have to win? If Carrie wasn’t in for it already for putting your name in, she was about to get hell.

“I take it you weren’t overwhelmed with surprise and ran off?” You heard the last person you wanted to hear right now speak out from the empty room as you groaned, falling flat on the floor.

“Why?” you asked no one in particular, “Why me?” Luke moved closer, thanking the fact your two friends told him exactly where to find you. He saw you laying on the ground, letting a chuckle slip past his lips. You shot him a glare and pushed yourself up, moving out of your hiding place to stand in front of him. “Look, there has been a big mistake.”

“A mistake?”

You nodded. “Yeah, I wasn’t supposed to win this competition. This is all just some big misunderstanding and I think it’s best you go back to your manager or whoever and tell them to pick another sucker to force you to date.” Luke had an amused look on his face as he listened to you.

“You didn’t want to win?” he clarified.

“I didn’t even want to sign up.” You fell into the chair next to you, not wanting to look at Luke anymore.

Luke took the seat next to you. “Then how was your name drawn?”

Your head fell to the side as you looked into his brown eyes for a few seconds before looking away. “My stepsister signed me up and I’m pretty sure it was a joke or so she would get the chance to meet you. She’s like your biggest fan.” You mumbled the last part, irritated with Carrie beyond disbelief.

Luke quirked a brow. “You’re not my biggest fan?” he asked, playfully mocking the thousands of people who claim to be just that.

You let out a snort and Luke’s face fell at the involuntary action. “Dude, I’m not even your fan.” A silence came across you and Luke as you stared at the mob of people just outside the door, wanting a look at you and Luke.

“Why not?”

His question caught you off guard as you looked at him again. He looked almost disappointed. Of course, he was disappointed, he cared about his image and right now, you weren’t doing anything to up it. You opened your mouth, trying to find the answer before closing it and shaking your head. “I’m just not and I’m not going on a date with you. Sorry but find someone else. I have better things to do than spend my night with some haughty celebrity. ” You started to stand up, moving to grab your things as Luke grabbed your hand, getting you to turn and come face to face with him.

You inhaled sharply, not prepared to have been so close with him. Luke looked down at your conjoined hands briefly before dropping them and taking a step backward to give you more room. “How about a deal?”

You quirked your brow, unable to admit you were intrigued by the aspect of a deal. “Go on.”

“We hang out, doesn’t have to be a date, wherever you’d like.”

You waited for Luke to say more, not believing that this was it. “What’s in it for you?”

He shrugged, sticking his hands in his pockets and your eyes flickered shamefully to his sleeveless arms for a second. “I get to spend the night with you and your amazing personality.” You let out another snort, only this one brought a small smile to Luke’s face.

“Hey, at least I’m not the one striving for attention from teenage fans across the country.”

He licked his lips, hiding a laugh and nodding. “Okay, you got me there.” You smiled smugly to yourself. “Do we have a deal, Y/N?”

He stretched out his hand to you for the second time today and this time you took. Luke ignored the way your hand felt against his, perfectly molding together. “I guess we have a deal, Patterson.”

---

Your date with Luke was scheduled to take place that night and you couldn’t wait for it to be over. All-day at school you were getting looks from people you didn’t even talk to; some looks of adoration and others looks of envy. You had to admit, the looks from the people adoring you scared you more.

After Luke said you could pick where the date was held, you knew just the place. He was supposed to pick you up, after much protesting from you that you could just meet him there. In his words, “it isn’t a date if I don’t pick you up.”

On the outside, you groaned at him, but on the inside, you couldn’t help the quick flip of your stomach. None of your previous relationships have ever picked you up at your house. Most of them were terrified of your stepdad, but none of them offered.

You avoided Carrie all afternoon, too mad at her for getting you into this whole debacle in the first place. Carrie didn’t even know what to think when she heard the news that you won. She did put your name in as a joke, but she never thought you’d have a shot to go on an actual date with Luke Patterson. She felt a small pang of jealousy before she realized it was her fault in the first place and next time maybe she should think twice about doing something like that.

Luke’s car pulled up outside as she glanced out her window, almost squealing and dashing out her room right on time to see you walk out yours. Her face fell at your outfit. “What are you wearing?” she gasped out.

You glanced down at your jeans and crop top sweater. “Uh, clothes?” you asked, trying to move past her.

Carrie finally let you go. “You’re going to wear that on a date with Luke Patterson?”

“Yup!” you knew that where you were going, fancy clothes weren’t the go-to choice. You bounced down the stairs and to the door, opening it right in time to see Luke about to knock. His smile spread as soon as he saw you.

“Well, don’t you look comfy.” He leaned on your doorframe as you raised a brow at him.

“Yeah, I am actually, thanks.” You gave him a once over, seeing the sweatshirt and T-shirt he had on earlier had been changed in for a nice and relaxing looking dress shirt and black jeans. You let out a fake gasp. “You own sleeves?”

“Disappointed?” Luke joked and gave you a fond smirk before his attention was pulled behind you to where Carrie came slowly down the stairs. You turned your head, glaring at your sister before gesturing for her to come down.

“That’s my sister, Carrie, your biggest fan.” Luke’s eyes met yours momentarily before he focused on Carrie.

“Nice to meet you, I’m Luke.”

“I-I know!” Carrie was starstruck as Luke reached his hand out to shake hers. Immediately he noticed how out of place Carrie’s hand felt compared to yours, but he didn’t let it show on his face. “I love your music.”

You could tell Carrie was struggling to figure out what to say as your eyes widened and you forced your lips into a line. “Alright, well Luke and I should probably get going before it gets dark out.” You said, silently hinting to Luke to let go of Carrie’s hand. His eyes went back and forth between you and the hands and you realized it wasn’t Luke. “Car, you gotta let him go.” You whispered t your sister, seeing her stare mesmerized at him. “Carrie?”

“In a minute.” She mumbled with a smile.

“Now or you won’t get his autograph afterward.” Carrie’s hand dropped immediately.

Luke led you to the car and you gave the address to the driver before climbing into the back with Luke. It was a mostly silent ride as you opted for people watching out the window. Luke, however, couldn’t take his eyes off you. “So,” he interrupted the silence, “Is there a reason you don’t like me?”

You were taken back by his abruptness, wanting to get straight to the point as you moved to face him. “Why do you wanna know?”

“Why does anyone want to know why they’re hated for no reason?”

You pursed your lips. He had a point. With a sigh and avoiding eye contact, you spoke. “My sister loves you. People at my school love you and I have no idea why. I’ve seen your interviews and to me, you just seem like a-“you cut yourself off, unsure if you should be so blatantly honest with him.

Luke needed to know though. He knew it sounded ridiculous, but he needed to know why you hated him without even meeting him. “Like what?”

Your fingers twisted in your lap. “Like a stuck-up celebrity.” You mumbled, not telling Luke your full thought. However, it seemed to make him sad.

“You thought that?”

“Am I wrong?”

He fell silent again. Luke sure hoped you were wrong. Sure, there were moments he found himself caught up in the glory of being a Rockstar, but he never took himself for being stuck-up or haughty, as you called him earlier. He was going to prove you wrong. No matter how long it took him.

“We’re here.” You looked out the window and Luke did too, seeing the car pull down an alley.

“Uh, you know if you kill me people will know it was you.” he joked, getting you to crack a smile unwillingly as you opened the door.

Luke finally saw where you chose. A street dog “restaurant”- that was more a car and a grill- not far from where Luke played one of the first gigs of his career that launched him into fame. “Welcome to my LA.” You told him as you walked to the hotdog seller. Luke followed after you, standing back as you ordered the two of your hotdogs, as well as one for Luke’s driver who remained in the car. Taking a seat on a beat-up couch, you grinned at him, watching him sit slowly next to you. “It’s fine to sit on, they clean for bugs at least once a year.” Luke laughed at your joke as he settled down, looking at the hotdog in front of him.

You held yours up, toasting with his before taking a bite out of it. Luke paused before sighing in delight and you giggled through your food. “It’s been so long since I had a street dog.” He admitted, going in for another bite. “My buddies and I used to get them before a show. One time three of us came down with a sick case of food poisoning.” Luke rambled in between bites.

“Dang, what happened to the show?”

“Had to cancel! Hard to play when you’re in the hospital throwing up everything you ate that week.”

You laughed, letting your eyes close briefly out of disgust. “Thanks for that visual.”

“Oh, of course.” Luke joined you in laughing before you stopped, realizing you shouldn’t be laughing with him. You couldn’t stand him. He noticed your change in demeanor as he tried to change the topic. “So, how’d you find this place?”

A smile crept on your face once more and you couldn’t stop it. “My dad.” You admitted sadly. “He used to be a musician, played at the Orpheum and whenever I came to see him, we’d always celebrate with street dogs afterward. It was our tradition.” It didn’t take a genius to know you lost your father from the way you spoke about him.

“I’m sorry.” Luke reached over and grabbed your hand. You don’t know what came over you for a few seconds, but you let him hold your hand as goosebumps traveled up your skin, making your breath hitch as you pulled your hand away.

Luke stayed quiet for a while as the two of you ate your hotdogs, happy that food poisoning wasn’t something you’d experience that night. You leaned back on the couch, pulling a leg up to face Luke and narrow your eyes. He shifted under your gaze, unsure what to make of it before he finished his dog and turned to match your position. “So, why a date?”

He grew confused at your question. “What do you mean?”

You rolled your eyes and licked your lips, which caught Luke’s attention briefly enough he wasn’t caught. “Was this some publicity stunt or something you actually wanted to do?”

Luke cleared his throat. “My manager brought it up, but I did it because I wanted to. If I didn’t want to, then it wouldn’t happen.”

“Why did you want to, then?”

“I don’t know. But you can’t admit that this isn’t fun.”

“You’re having fun?” your lips quirked up at him, making him smile as well.

“Oh yeah! I mean, comfy clothes? Street dogs? With a girl who isn’t fawning over the fact I’m famous? This is the most fun I’ve had in a long time.” For some reason, you didn’t doubt him, which made you nervous. Maybe- had you jumped willingly to the conclusion that he was stuck-up? Was he like you expected him to be?

You shook your head, hiding the smile on your face. “I don’t know, man. This just sounds like a normal night to me.”

“Well, then I’d love to spend more normal nights with you.” Luke meant what he was saying. He was enjoying himself tonight, more than he thought he would with someone who seemed to hate him before you even met.

You inhaled sharply, something Luke missed as you looked anywhere but him. “That sounded like flirting.” You mumbled to him, taking glances quickly to him to see his eyes widened.

“No, I just meant- We should hang out. As friends.”

“Friends?” He nodded. “I still don’t like you, Patterson.”

“Oh, come on!” he chuckled. “Everyone likes me, I promise you will too!”

“Then, I guess I’m not everyone.”

His lips pulled into a thin line as your eyes met, neither of you saying anything as Luke’s driver honked, getting your attention saying it was time to leave.

Luke pushed himself off the couch, stretching his hand out to help you up, but you didn’t take it. He watched you with amused eyes as you moved past him, throwing a smile over your shoulder at him before climbing into the car. Luke chuckled under his breath and ran after you.

In his head, he was putting a plan in motion. A way to get you to like him like he knew you would, and a way that allowed him to hang out with you more, the first person in a while that allowed him to feel like just another teenage boy again.

---

You managed to avoid all the questions thrown at you the next day from everyone at the school with some help from Julie and Flynn, despite knowing that once the day was over, they were going to ask you everything.

Walking into the lunchroom, however, was not something you were looking forward to. Eyes fell on you immediately as you walked in, already feeling your stomach dropping. Flynn waved you down, making you relax slightly as you made a B-line for your table and practically fell into your seat.

“Okay, we’ve held off all day. You’ve got to tell us everything!” Flynn cried out quietly, keeping her voice down so others at close tables couldn’t hear.

You gave her a look of laughter. “It’s been 3 hours?”

“Yeah and?” she questioned, nodding along with Julie who was just as eager as her.

“We didn’t do much! I took him to get street dogs.”

“Street dogs?!” they cried out much louder than you or they wanted. You forced smiles to the students around you, hoping none of them cared to listen in.

“Yes, Street dogs. I didn’t want to make it date-like.” They nodded as they rolled their eyes. You sighed, playing with the sandwich in front of you that you honestly didn’t feel like eating. “I guess-“ you started but stopped yourself, thinking back on the entirety of the night. Flynn and Julie urged you to continue. “I guess he wasn’t as bad as I thought he was.”

As soon as your sentence had finished, someone slid in the seat next to you. You glanced over quite confused as that spot was usually empty. The only person who sat with you all was Nick on the occasion, but he sat next to Julie since they were dating. This person, whose hood was pulled over their downcast head, was not Nick.

“Can we help you?” Julie asked and before you could scoot away, his head picked up. “Oh my god.”

“Luke?” you whispered, glancing around worriedly for anyone who caught sight of the Rockstar. “What are you doing here?!”

“I came to visit you.” He smiled and reached over to take a bite of your sandwich as you watched on in wonder.

“Why on earth would you do that?”

Luke shrugged but never lost his smile as he met your eyes. “Had some time to kill and I couldn’t stop thinking about you.”

Despite the hatred you thought you possessed for the boy, you felt your cheeks heat up and the underlying desire to smile hurt to fight. “T-This is a school. You can’t be here.” You argued, trying to ignore the happy look Luke was giving you.

“I’m a kid. I blend right in.”

“He blends right in.” Flynn repeated, sending you a glare for trying to get him to leave, to which you rolled your eyes at.

“Alright fine,” you agreed and started packing up your bags for them. “But if he’s going to be here, we go somewhere where there aren’t students.”

Luke smirked, remembering exactly where your friends said you always hide.

The music room was luckily empty when the four of you arrived, and you let out a shaky breath, thankful you weren’t going to be caught with Luke. When you spun around to look at him, you let out a laugh when you saw that Luke has shed his hoodie to reveal his sleeveless tank top.

When Luke and your eyes met, you forced yourself to look away, unsure what to do.

“Soooo…” Flynn said as she rocked on her heels, not looking away from Luke, just like Julie wasn’t. You snickered at them, crossing your arms as Luke laughed as well. Flynn and Julie shared a look briefly before they started slowly to the door. “Well, Julie and I should be going. Gotta get to class, you know? Yeah, you know.”

You furrowed your brows at them. “We still have 5 minutes of lun-“

“Y/N’s got a free period.” Julie rushed out before they were gone, leaving you and Luke alone in the music room.

“You know, I should’ve figured they’d do that.” You said and dropped your bag on the ground before falling into a chair. “You don’t actually need to stay because of them you know. Besides, you saw me and you’ve probably got a life of guitar and press conferences to get back to.”

“Well, you’ve got a free period and I’ve got-“ Luke paused, trying to figure out what to say to finish that sentence as he adjusted the beanie that was apparently sat under his hood. You raised your brows, gesturing for him to finish his sentence. “I’ve got nothing.” He admitted and took the seat next to you. You laughed at him, making Luke’s heart flip at the sound just like you always managed to do. “So, do you actually play music or just like hiding out in the room?”

You smirked at him, saying nothing as you pulled out your songbook and headed to the piano. Luke didn’t expect you to start playing right then and there for him, but the moment you pressed the first key on the piano, followed a few notes later by your voice ringing out in the room, he was hooked. He watched you, seeing the joy you had for your music written beautifully across your face and Luke couldn’t look away. Not even after you finished and asked him what he thought.

“Luke?” you called out, waving your hand in the air as he stared at you. You had no idea what was going through his head and it scared you. You didn’t know where that confidence came from. The only people who had heard you sing was Flynn, Julie, and Carrie, which is why she’s constantly pressuring you into joining her group. Your stepdad didn’t even know if you knew what a piano was. “Was it that bad?” you chuckled nervously.

Luke’s head shook quickly as he jumped out of his chair, surprising you by his sudden appearance right beside you. “Where had that been hiding?” he whispered out.

You couldn’t look away from him as he came close to you, making your heart race and you couldn’t stop it. “I don’t know. It’s just always been here, I guess.” Your voice matched his, although shakier.

Luke slowly reached for your songbook, waiting for you to stop him. You hesitated, but you didn’t stop him, watching on embarrassed as he flipped through the scribbled upon pages. “You wrote all these?” He said after catching sight of your millionth- or so it seemed- song. You nodded but remained silent. “Y/N, these are amazing.”

“Thank you.” your voice was soft, not believing he really liked them and Luke picked up on it.

“I’m serious.” He assured you, nudging his shoulder with yours. You turned your head, meeting his dark hazel eyes once more. “You’re really talented.” This time you didn’t doubt it.

Your eyes flickered to his lips before you could stop them and Luke’s did the same. He licked his lips and slowly leaned in and without much thinking, you had done the same. Your brain was fuzzy, the only thoughts were his lips when your eyes started fluttering closed. But before your lips could meet, the lunch bell rang out in the room.

You and Luke didn’t jump apart, however, the moment between you was gone and it was obvious by both of you not being able to look at one another. Luke cleared his throat, gently tossing your book back on the piano before he stood up. “Um, so free period?” He asked, putting on a smile as you hummed a yes. “What do you want to do?”

You finally brought yourself to look at him, raising a brow. “Who says I want to spend it with you?” Luke’s face almost fell before he realized you were just messing with him and the smile on your face was one he matched.

“Haha.” He mocked you and leaned over the piano. “Seriously, what do you normally do during your free periods?”

“Stay here usually.” You shrugged. “There’s no class after lunch, so Ms. Harrison usually doesn’t mind me hanging out in here and writing music.”

“Writing?” Luke had mischief behind his eyes as you narrowed yours.

“Yeah? Why? What’s that look for?”

“Nothing.” He said quickly, but you didn’t believe him. “I was just thinking. If you write music, and I write music…” His sentence trailed off as he hoped you caught on, but by the cute and confused look you were giving him, it was obvious you weren’t getting it. “Maybe we could write something together.”

His words were rushed out and quite filled with nerves, but you heard him. “You want to write music with me?”

“Well, yeah. You’re amazing Y/N. People should hear your music.” You looked on with a warm smile at him as you sighed heavily.

“What the hell, could be fun.” Luke cheered as you agreed and you shushed him, knowing nobody could here into the room, but you didn’t want to take your chances. “How do you want to do this?”

Luke reached into his pocket, pulling out some lyrics he scribbled down last night after dinner with you. He hesitated but slid it across the piano to you. “Maybe we can start with this?”

You grabbed the paper, letting your eyes scan it briefly and Luke let out a sigh when you didn’t seem to make the connection the lyrics were about you.

A dozen words are flying through my head

A dozen sounds I’d love to listen to

Like your laugh that’s playing out on repeat

And I see your smile, it’s whole and beautiful

Was it wrong that your heart hurt thinking of Luke thinking about someone else like this? Of course, it was wrong. You and Luke weren’t anything. “It’s different than your normal stuff, isn’t it?”

Luke looked impressed. “You listened to my stuff?”

“No.” you said quickly, looking at the paper again. “Carrie does and walls are thin.” He put his hands up as you handed him the paper. “Sing it?” Luke did so, only glancing up at you once he sang the last note.

“It’s a work in progress.” He admitted, knowing at the time that he just needed to get it out on paper.

“But it’s a good progress.” You told him, offering a smile. Luke’s heart fluttered as he saw it. Whole and Beautiful, just like he wrote. You patted the spot next to you and Luke happily took it, sitting much closer than he was earlier. You didn’t say anything though, not really minding the closeness. “What’s the story behind you and,” you cleared your throat “whoever this is?”

“I’m not sure yet. We just met.”

That threw you hard. Did he write the song about you? You looked down at the piano, feeling Luke’s eyes on the side of your face as you played a note, followed by another and another after a few moments before you came up with a few chords for Luke’s lyrics. You played it again, singing the lyrics softly over it before finishing and looking to Luke. “How does that sound?”

“Perfect.” He whispered out, once again amazed by you. You weren’t at all what he was expecting when he decided on the win-a-date idea, but in no way was Luke complaining because, at that moment when he leaned over and pressed his lips to yours, you didn’t pull away. You weren’t expecting to be kissed right then, but it felt right. With him, it felt right and you couldn’t explain it. Your hand came up to hold the back of his neck, bringing him closer into you as his hand cupped your cheek and the other encircled your waist to hold you.

His tongue dragged across your lip as the kiss deepened and you could only last a few seconds before you and Luke had to pull away. Your breathing was heavy as you locked eyes, letting out a soft giggle at you both. Luke’s thumb ghosted over your lips briefly before dropping.

“Now that was perfect.” You told him and Luke nodded eagerly, biting his lower lip as he looked down to your lips again. Your eyes grew and you grabbed the paper and a pencil, scribbling down some lyrics, but before you could finish, Luke put a hand on your chin and pulled it so you faced him. Your eyes shined as they met and you knew that Luke and you weren’t going to make much progress on the song during your free period.

.

.

.

.

[ditch-witches]

Silhouette (Dean Charles-Chapman x reader)

request: Dean x Kiwi by Harry Styles (idek if this is okay im sorry)

warnings: smoking, drinking, weird au, some adult themes

word count: ~3000 (IM SORRY)

a/n: hey guys! since I’m now on break, I’m going to try and get back to writing. let me know what you think (literally even if it’s like ‘lol this sux’) and---as always---our inbox is open and we love to hear from you. happy reading! ♡

𝓓𝓮𝓪𝓷 𝓼𝓽𝓮𝓹𝓹𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓸 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓭𝓲𝓶𝓵𝔂 𝓵𝓲𝓽 𝓫𝓪𝓻; the buzz of his surroundings vibrating through his bones with the slight nervousness he yielded. His heart skipped a few beats, his mouth drying as he shed his jacket and ran his fingers into his hair. The smoky atmosphere was cut by the strong scent of Acqua di Parma and sweat as he was drawn further into the gentlemen’s club via the deep wine-colored curtains twisting this way and that to cover the bare walls beneath. The accents of gold lights barely illuminated certain corners of the large room, sending a small rush of claustrophobia pulsing through his veins. Girls of various silhouettes seemed to sway between the tables, tending to the desires of sundry men gathered around tables and stationed in lavish, velvet chairs. 

He felt out of place, to say the least. The only time he had ever found himself in such a setting usually occurred when his garrulous boss and his group of kiss-asses wanted to slip away from their loyalties of marriage for a dirty tango with a nameless courtesan. They often disguised these faults of character as “letting off steam after a biting week.” By a simple survey of the room, Dean recognized several of the men from the last times he was dragged to the underground business. Appalling. 

“Chapman!” A husky voice beckoned Dean from one of the prominent tables. His eyes drifted towards the noise after his feet had already begun to carry him away. The man who’d called to him was one of the heirs of the company Dean worked for; a capricious bastard who could and would liquidate Dean’s position at the drop of a hat. He was pinned to his seat beneath a woman no older than Dean yet the years against the outside world painted her face, twisting into the lines framing her eyes and mouth. The Heir held onto the woman a bit tighter as he flung his hand in the air almost like he was trying to wave down Dean in the middle of the Colosseum. 

Dean nodded in acknowledgment and gestured towards the bar, hoping to kill enough time and gain a bit of patience before having to withstand the course of a few hours with the group of heinous Yale alumni. He slumped onto one of the bar stools, pushing his fingers against his temple and mumbling a drink order to the suave bartender. Dean was no prude, but the thought of paying for women to throw themselves at his colleagues seemed like a waste of money. 

She worked her way through a cheap pack of cigarettes / Hard liquor mixed with a bit of intellect.

As a tumbler of copper-colored courage was set in front of him, Dean chewed the inside of his cheek, glaring at the glass as if it were containing everything distasteful about the position he was seemingly cemented into. Raising the crystal schooner to his lips, his eyes drifted towards the end of the bar as an ick of being watched by smoldering eyes slithered up each of his vertebrae. The dark shade of your lipstick seemed to be cut from the same fabric as the curtains; the hue pressing around the thin paper of the cigarette you were drawing from. The slender elegant swirls of smoke dancing around you gave your appearance an almost ghost-like aura as your eyes analyzed Dean. The corner of your mouth drew up in a small smirk as he tugged his eyes away from you. Dean knew not to let himself look frigid and square under your gaze, plucking as much courage as he could from the depths of his being to ease his mannerisms and seem unbothered. 

And all the boys, they were saying they were into it / Such a pretty face, on a pretty neck.

You seemed familiar to him in a way he couldn’t place, yet as his eyes lifted once more they fell onto the Heir who smoothed his hair back into place, a mission in his eyes like you were an untouched civilization waiting to be colonized. His lasering stare glued to you as he fastened his jacket button and straightened his pant legs. You lazily took another drag from your cigarette, brushing away the slight smear of your lipstick with your pinky and blowing your spiraling clouds directly towards the Heir as he bluntly approached the vacant seat beside you. The acrid expression in your eyes only seemed to beckon him further into your personal space as he leaned towards your ear to whisper a leerish bribe. You tilted your head away from him as his breath fanned over your neck, your eyes kindling a fire deep within Dean as he watched the man practically drape himself over your shoulder. 

The Heir leaned back from you faintly to dig into one of his suit jacket pockets for a fold of money. Your eyes fluttered to the bar in front of you, the ice in your drink decomposing like a forgotten animal as the Heir pressed towards your ear with a brutish attempt at holding your attention. 

She’s driving me crazy, but I’m into it… / It’s getting crazy, I think I’m losing it. 

Dean scorned himself for staring, yet he couldn’t bring himself to jerk his gaze away from you. Your sultry eyes knew what the Heir’s actions and your subtle reactions were doing to Dean as his cheeks warmed with each trailing glance and wordless comment. The air seemed to grow thicker as Dean took another drink, watching the small conversation pass between you and the Heir.

When she’s alone, she goes home to a cactus / In a black dress, she’s such an actress.

It only just hit him that you were one of the popular performers. The Heir had been a regular of yours, something Dean had only mildly been attentive to in his previous visits. You had been the one he had talked about during business dinners, trying to persuade Dean into becoming a regular at the club. You were the one he visited during the “droughts” with his wife. You were the other woman. Dean shook his head in mild disbelief as an almost venomous ache settled in his bones at the realization of just what kind of game he could be getting into with you. 

The Heir settled a hand on the back of your neck, the first graze of his skin against yours under Dean’s scorning eye. You wet your lips, flashing your sights back towards Dean as if commanding him to watch. You held an almost debonair attitude towards the Heir; humoring the snobbish brat like he was a toddler too easily upset with not getting his way. Your graceful figure withdrew from under his grasp, sending a few parting words to the Heir before you vanished from Dean’s peripheral. Dean struggled to finish his drink, knowing he would have to face his colleagues after nearly falling into your maniacal web. 

She sits beside me like a silhouette. 

Dean tilted the glass around its base, your eyes still scorched into the depths of his consciousness. The way you disappeared forced the thought to cross Dean’s mind that maybe you were just a figment of his imagination. He could almost picture the shape of your figure as the Heir twisted his ownership and title around you like a thick, suffocating bow as heavy as the draping curtains. Dean gestured for a top off on his drink, his mind wandering to where you were now, and god-forbid if you were at the mercy of the Heir once again. He scoffed to himself, cursing at how late it must be if he were catching a fit like this over a lady of the night. 

And in an instant, it was as if he had manifested your apparition as you settled into the seat beside him. “Stinger please, Joe,” you hummed, sending a small grin to the bartender and crossing your legs. Dean smirked to himself as you nonchalantly popped open your compact mirror and touched up your lipstick, your leg in danger of grazing his own. He gnawed on his bottom lip, searching for the correct string of words to figure out how cautious he had to be around you. 

He side-eyed you, your features more stunning at close contact than from a distance. He was nearly surprised you hadn’t looked as… tired… as the other woman that had been entertaining the Heir earlier in the night. “Did you take the money?” He asked you, a sharp inhale of pride stinging his lungs as he gave into his curiosity. He noticed your sly smile at his words, hating the way you nearly coaxed his thoughts from the tip of his tongue. He took another sip of his drink, pretending it was a struggle for him to make eye contact with you. 

You seemed to chew on your response, the suspense killing Dean as he hung on a line for you. “No, I told him that he got me pregnant,” you quipped lightly, your words reaching out to backhand Dean. It felt like too much information for him but the way you confidently muttered your response had him wondering whether or not you were serious. “He left to phone his wife. I have a feeling I won’t be seeing him for a while,” you continued, a smile threatening to break past your lips. 

Dean perked an eyebrow at the knots in the wood grain beneath his hands, forcing himself to swallow. “What are you gonna do then?” He chided himself for pursuing the topic even further when the thought of it (you and the Heir) made him ill. He stroked his chin, feeling your eyes dance to him. You were close enough that he could smell the mint in your drink. He could swim in the aroma of your delicate perfume and biting liquid. Your voice was a lulling tone he wanted to live in his ears forever.

You wet your lips slowly. “Celebrate, no?” This time Dean did look at you, nearly falling into a trance at the realization that your eyes were more brilliant and cunning than he had remembered. Your gaze jumped from his own eyes to his lips and then back, making him want to slink away from your observance of him. On the flip side, he wanted to pass your inspection. He wanted you. Your voice dropped into a quieter octave, leaning towards Dean faintly, “Men are so easy to break. Tell one white lie and they run for the hills.” You sent him a sneering grin, making him roll his eyes playfully. He watched your fingers as you popped open your cigarette case, striking your lighter and inhaling deeply. The swiftness of your movements sent his thoughts to dark places. “Who are you? I’ve seen you in here a few times but you never leave with any of the girls.” 

Dean chuckled slightly, “I work with your baby daddy at the firm.” Your face flushed with mock realization. Dean turned back to his glass, his facade of confidence adherently fading under the close proximity to you. You were so intoxicating to him, it reminded him of the first time he had dabbled with absinthe in his early college years. You were probably just as dangerous. 

And now she’s all over me, it’s like I paid for it. 

You turned in your seat, facing the floor as you leaned against the bar and closed in on Dean. He knew what you were doing and didn’t dare object to your actions. “Why don’t you ever pay for one of the girls?” You asked, prying over eggshells as Dean fought not to smile. 

“Doesn’t do it for me,” he answered after a moment's hesitation. Your eyebrow perked at him as if to call his bluff, your interest inflating his ego. He would never admit it, but despite his calm exterior, his heart was beating at an ungodly rate. He swore if consumption didn’t kill him, you definitely would. He struggled to completely withstand the pressure of what he was about to challenge. “I’d rather not mix business and pleasure.”

You smirked slightly, tugging your bottom lip between your teeth. “Prove it,” you cooed, reaching into your clutch and flashing a key before Dean’s eyes before you settled it on the table in front of him. He chewed the inside of his cheek, watching as you walked away towards the stairs on the opposite wall of the bar. Dean's mouth grew dry, yet his ego inflated at the fact that he could mumble a few words and an attractive woman such as yourself would be beckoning him to bed. 

It’s like I paid for it...

I’m gonna pay for this.

The music from the parlor drew quiet as Dean climbed the stairs, furthering into the dimly lit hallways with the numbers of your room repeating in his mind. It was almost slow motion as his mind raced with what he could do to you, and more importantly, what you could do to him. 

[narcosmx]

the arellano felix boys competing over you would include

a/n: who knows where i pulled this idea out of but it is here because i have no sense of self control a ha 

so what i’m picturing is that you’re the lastest interest of the arellano felix gang; min and mon are arguing about who’s going to get to take you out. but being the competetive bbs they are, they decide they’re going to both woo you and let the best man win. no hard feelings, it’s all up to you so let’s see how each of them go about it 

ramon

okay so he is all about the fucking grand gestures; all the flashy stuff and then when you look over at him giving you this stupid as proud grin and shrugging

like im imagining you being at roxanne and you’re with friends or whatever and he’s bringing over bottles of the absolute best shit on the house, bottle in each arm and is telling you guys to come up to the private level and have some drinks with him

just giving you the absolute vip experience because that’s mon

can you just picture him sitting on a couch, long arms outsretched along the back of the couch, probably man spreading and motioning with his head for you to come join him, little smirk on his face, winking at you the minute saunter over to him  

hed be such a fucking flirt , arm wrapped around you on the couch and could you imagine the way he’d be whispering in your ear 

with his smug as breathy chuckle and lingering there just to watch the way you gets chiils when he does 

him getting handsy when he sees you’re into it and it’s you going back and forth with him just pushing the boundaries just a little bit more because god

showering you with gifts, he’s gonna be like if this is just how i get your attention mamacita, imagine what it’s going to be like when you’re mine 

his big thing would be with jewlery because he sees you being like oh my fucking god how expensive is that no 

and ramon scoffing and be like don’t even worry about it, please

especially with necklaces, the proud little smile he gets when he’s standing behind you, moving your hair out of the way and placing the necklace on you 

looks over your sholder to see how good it looks on you and sneaking a kiss on your shoulder

another thing im imagining is him being like hey do you want to be my date tonight?? and you’re like where are we going ?? and he’s telling you not to worry just some little thing but dress nicely 

now this could go one of two ways 1) surprise he’s actually throwing this huge ass party and him making his dramatic ass entrance with you on your arm and you’re hissing at him like “oh yeah some littlle thing” and ramon just shrugs innocently

2) him taking you to this fancy ass restaurant like one where celebrities frequent and it’s like a who’s who of mexico and he’s sitting around like he owns the place , people sending over bottles to pay respects and him looking at you lke this could all be yours bby   

benjamin 

now benjamin is all about the little shit, the intimate shit

for example, if ramon is taking you out to crazy and packed restaurant, benjamin is reserving the restuarant for the two of you 

coming into this popular restaurant and it being empty but them welcoming you in... you look at benjamin with a confused look and he gives a small shrug and is like “i... i wanted to be able to talk to you, listen to you in peace. just get lost for a little bit”

im just imagining how intent he would be on listening to you, how interested he’d be in you, the little toast with your wine glasses, holding your hand across the table, kissing your hand gently

sending you absurdly large bouquet of flowers to your house everyday , they’re huge and probably have a stuffed animal

could you imagine him delivering them you and his like the soft look on his face when you open up the door and he sees how excited you get

by the end of this you have a literal garden because he hasn’t stopped sending you flower

would take you on the coolest dates??

this butthole will probably take you horseback riding could you imagine wow what a rich bich 

taking walks in parks or going to some festivals and him like holding your hand as you walk through these places together why is this so fucking adorable for me 

bonfire vibes from benjamin (( that at some point ramon would probably crash todo pedo ))

with him it would just be a lot of him proving he has time for you, proving that he can make you a priority even with this crazy life he leads trying to hold down this business and his wild af siblings 

he doesnt like going out to dance, we’ve established such already so him hiring like a mariachi or some band to come play so you can dance out under the stars whether that be at some lowkey party he throws or just for a night alone 

im laughing ramon probably made it a rule that you could’nt be taken on any trips because that is benjamin’s specialtiy oof 

benjamin out here trying to give you this delicate gold chain with his name on it or his initial because oh my god

fucking speciality made wine for you okay ill stop 

who you going with fam?? @itati​   @cheribambirose​  imma have to start writing individual stuff for them because heart eyes 

[tillmays]

Is just Her...

the next day

they falled asleep at the fireplace the sun was softly bright. is 7:00 am mac's phone couldn't stop ringing. he woke up saw Riley by his side and smiled then removed her hair from her face, he got distracted looking at her that by the time he grabbed his phone he missed the call, he checked up and had 10 missed calls from matty.

Mac- oh crap .. Riley .. *he shacked her to wake her up, what! ... * she said grumpy* -Riley! *he raised his voice to wake her up, he was in the other room changing his shirt, Mac went back to the fireplace putting his jacket back on* Riley wake up we have to go now!, Matty called. *Riley got up fast and touched her body as if something was missing and she let out a sigh of relief and laughed and sited back* mac just looked at her funny and raised his eyebrows* come on let's go.

on their way to work.

Riley- ahh my head hurts .. we drunk to much. *she touched her face*

Mac- i have a migraine too.

Riley- we need to stop at the gas station.

Mac- we are already late and you want to make a stop?

Riley- trust me, we need a boost. and besides we can't go to work like this. and my head hurts like hell, to be listening matty's screams.

Mac- You are right on that.

they are at the gas station, Riley went to buy something that could help with the hungover and got back in the car.

Riley- here, drink it.

Mac- Riley are you crazy, we already have a hungover and you buy more beer?!

Riley- can you calm down, trust me. this has worked for me before you will feel better. Well at least for a while. *he wasn't sure about it* -you trust me? *he looked at her* then drink it, relax. *he drank the beer and he in a weird way felt quite better.*

Mac- ... i don't understand the logic in this but it worked.

the phoenix somewhere in los angeles.

Matty was ANGRY bozer and desi were already there. the tree of them waiting for them to show up. then finally they walk thru the door.

Bozer- thank god i thought you will have us waiting another 3 hours here.

Mac- matty i'm so so sorry we just ..

Matty- save it I don't want to hear it. i called you more than 3 times you have a responsibility you know how important it is to be on time and if this happens again you will be in trouble.

Mac- and what about riley?

Riley- * she punched him in the arm * dude what the hell ..

Matty- it goes for both of you. i don't have time to play we have work to do.

Matty- today you all were invited to a wedding! *she starts to explain the case* the guy you are going to be tracking is..

Bozer- the groom right? what did he do?

Matty- surprisingly, this time wasn't the groom, its the father of the groom. *photo pops up*

Bozer- ah that's new. 

Matty- his name is Oliver Hudson. and he is about business. the man doesn't have a break from his work, a source discovered evidence of uranium thefts at a nuclear treatment plant and informed us that his team it's the responsable. It's his sons wedding, the source told us that he already has someone who want to buy it. And I need to know who. So today he is...

Mac- is going to sell it at his son's wedding. 

Matty- yes, and that's when my dream team appears, you stop him from selling it arrest him and bring me the person who's buying the uranium.

Wiltshire, England

they arrived to this 14th century village of Castle Combe, there was a lot of people celebrating for the newlyweds. Riley was wearing this beautiful long formal emerald green dress featuring a-line silhouette, backless design, with low v-neck and her hairstyle was passion/spring twists and was styled with a middle high ponytail.

Desi was looking gorgeous wearing this light yellow dress with a v neck adjust to her waist with a crossed nod as a detail,with a diamond necklace with this loosely hair and only a lock collected with this silver hair pin and mac and bozer in their neat black suits as always. 

Mac- has anyone spotted our star yet?  he said while walking to the bar.

Riley- not yet. *she had a drink on her hand and passed by his side, mac saw her passing, at first didn't realized it was her, he make a double take and checked her up and down, you could see in his eyes that his jaw was on the floor. 

Bozer- Nothing on this side of the room.*changed to the other room and desi was walking down the stairs and walked behind Bozer, she grabbed a glass of wine while she kept walking* 

Desi- this is stupid, how are we going to find this man in a freaking castle, who gets married in a castle anyways...

Riley- the little brats just like the bride. 

Desi- mmm, but i get it, her man is attractive.

Riley- mhjm... he can get it *Desi laughed* 

Bozer- he literally looks just like that actor that was Christian grey in 50 shades of grey..

Riley- i.. didn't know you liked that type of movies.. i thought you liked the real cinema. but youre right if i didn't know him he looks just like that actor.

Bozer- i don't but leanna make me watched those movies with her..

Mac- ok i think you're oversharing boz..

Desi- yes, but we need to be looking for his father not him, so focus.

Mac- everyone pick a floor and move we can't let this man sell the uranium.

Everyone started searching. Bozer and Desi went together to the first floors, were the party was happening, behind the castle, while Mac and Riley went upstairs, while they were searching in an really big open room, Mac reclined to the back of a white sofa and said: - i dont think its here. we have to keep looking. they heard someone was coming to their way, that part of the place was all alone and only them were there.Riley- Mac someone’s coming. *Mac grabbed the glass of champagne he took before to pretend that he was drinking. - Riley come here  and grab your drink. *he said almost whispering with an anxious voice, Riley walked towards him, Mac did not think what he was going to do, surprisingly he didn’t think this time he just acted. Mac grabbed her by the arm, opened his legs and placed Riley between them, he pressed her body next to his, He ran his hand across her back, venturing into her skin for that little moment, until he reached her hip a little lower if you know what i mean. they were so close that anyone who had seen them in that scene could see that light, that flame between them, which unfortunately this two did not see, he held her as tightly as if she were going to leave, but at the same time he held her delicately, as if she was made of glass. they didn’t speak for that little unreal moment, they just looked into eachothers eyes like everyone left and was only them. Riley was surprised, and he took her by the arm she though *what the hell is this boy doing* but then her body got loose and she understood what he was doing, she put her arm around him and played with the back of his head, crossing her fingers thru his hair. the both of them felt a they felt a little tickle in the stomach and in the throat but they thought that feeling was for the adrenaline rush of almost getting caught looking for the secret room. the people who they heard coming in was a group of drunk guys they were laughing and tumbling on of them saw them and said - oh we better give them a little privacy.. they went to the next room making more noise. Mac and Riley stayed like that for a minute. when riley snapped out if as if they got hypnotized by each other’s energy.Riley- mac.. *she whispered softly, but he didn’t react* mac.. *she said again* something about the way she said his name that made Mac squirt inside. Mac- Riles.. *with his deep deep voice* Riley- they already left. *she said with disappointment in her voice as she wanted to be in his arms forever. she removed her arm of his neck slowly, mac reacted to that.Mac- oh yeah … they did … * cleared his throat, and as he slowly took his arm from her waist, he didn’t want to set her free.. Riley- oh i will go to the bathroom so i can use the laptop without distractions. Mac- yeah i’m gonna keep on looking on this side.

Riley went to the bathroom to use her laptop in private and she needed to see the blueprints of the castle, she starts to give directions to mac, apparently Oliver make his sells in a back room. then someone is trying to open the door and riley jumped of surprise and closed the laptop and hid it, she opened the door and for her surprise there was the bride who was really really drunk and wanted to use the bathroom.

Riley- oh don't worry, i was just living and smiled.

the bride- oh please i know i don't know you but can you please help me.

Riley- i really have to go

the bride- oh please. *Riley took of her communicator cause she kinda knew were she was going and wanted to give her some privacy* 

Riley- ok what do you need?

bride- can you hold my dress while a use the toilet?

Riley- *opened her mouth and in her mind she said -i knew it-  she raised her eyebrows and she said: yeah sure why not, is your day anyways.. *she picked up her big dress and the vail who was really long and the bride started talking and talking, Riley in her head was thinking god how much longer is she going to pee?,this is the longest pee i have ever seen.

Riley- heeey girl how many glasses of... whatever you were drinking did you have? cause..

bride- *started laughing* oh just a couple... and giggled.

Riley- great, are you done?

bride- yeah im done.           

Riley- *Riley bent down to fix the bride's dress* 

back with the team at the castle courtyard. 

mac- hey does someone knows where Riley is? i need to know where is that room.

desi- i don't know where is she but i do know where is oliver.

mac- where?

desi- he is sitting at his table with some family and some kids.

bozer- what we do know?

mac- we have to wait, we need to catch him in the act, in the min time desi keep an eye on him, boz go see where is Riley i will keep searching for that room. 

back at the restroom 

Riley- well your dress is fine.

bride- thank you so so much* she hugged her and gave her a kiss in the chick* you know your my best friend.. i love you.

Riley- thank you, Chloe. 

Chloe the bride who was really dizzy and very drunk already forgot those 3 minutes they were in there and said to her- wait how do you know my name?who did you come with? 

Riley- oh you're not having more drinks *Riley smiled* i'm marks girlfriend,remember? the best man of your boyfriend i mean husband, and speaking of mens i think your husband is waiting for you should go find him

chloe- you know how beautiful you are, marks very lucky to have you.

*Riley blushed and grabbed the bride hands and turn her around to make her walk to the door* thats very kind of you, but i want to use the bathroom now, she said to make her leave, she knew Mac was waiting for her indications, Chloe walked to the door and she started to stumble and she felt on her back* 

Riley- oh not again.

Mac is walking thru the castle following the little indications Riley could give him, he knew he was close so he was in this library and started to look on the room to make this type of device that would work like a magnet but not at the same time to help him find the secret room, looking through the room with the device that he had made with a cocktail glass, a chewing gum wrapper and his swiss knife, he was close to finding it but not that close.

back with Riley. 

Riley- ok Chloe come on, you ok? i'm going to take you to your room. she grabbed her by the waist and make it look natural like nothing was going on she didn't want to get anyone's attention, she made it look like Chloe wasn't drunk and walked down the hallway, Riley memorized the blueprints so she knew were to go, one of her many skills. they got to the room and she placed her in the bed, as she was to walk of the room, she heard some steps outside there were three men and she hid and she saw another door and walked into this little room but she knew that it wasn't the one they were looking for, Riley put back her communicator on her ear again, and said: guys how's it going?

Bozer- Riley, girl i have been looking for you.

Mac- Riley where have you been?

Riley- i'm sorry but the bride find me in the bathroom and asked for help she's really drunk, and apparently she thinks we're best friends now. *she kept walking and entered another room*

Mac- glad you made a friend but i need to find that room.

Desi- Mac Oliver is about to leave the table, his bodyguard gave him the phone he just received a call, bozer is with me, we are going behind him.

Bozer- wait,*he said to desi and put his hand in her shoulder to make her stop* look he going to dance with the bride. look Chloe's is there.

Riley- what?! i left her in her bed.. damn that girl is fast.

Mac- Riley can you please look in your laptop and tell me the indication to go find that room.

Riley- well i dont have my laptop with me. tell me where are you.

Mac- what?? 

Riley- mac tell me where are you i memorized the structure of the castle i know where is the room.

Mac- *makes that face when he is surprised*

ok well i didn't know that you could do that, well i'm at the library, i went to the kitchen, the wine room, and then to this cellar there is by crossing the kitchen and nothing 

Riley- that's why you are looking in the wrong places.wait you said that you're at the library? *she walked out the little room and walked to the other room, it was the grooms room. 

mac- yes, why?

Riley- there is a door right? not the one you entered of there has to be another.

mac- yes here it is.

riley- there is the room, in there is a big painting.

mac- how is going to be in there.?

Riley- mac move it. but be careful i can't remember but i think it has motion sensors. 

mac- you can memorized the blueprints of a castle but can remember if a room has motion sensors??... 

Riley- well what can i say.. im Riley.

mac- *he had this cute smiled while she said it* yup the one and only.

Riley- laughed.*while she was in the room she was looking thru the window, while someone walked in, it was the groom. she turned around, and looked him very cold, she was just distracted, but for him she looked like a vision*

the groom- oh sorry i didn't know it was someone in here, excuse me. 

Riley- no its ok, its your room anyways.

the groom- how do you know that?

Riley- well there is a bottle of whisky that says for james aka the groom, and you left your vows on that chair.

James- oh that's from my friends *he blushed*

Riley- yeah i notice.

James- and yeah i forgot those.*he laughed* Riley knew she had to make him talk, see if she can get something out of him about his father. but then he asked: so what's your name and what are you hiding in here? im james by the way.

Riley: first of all, i'm not hiding and second of all i already know your name remember* she pointed to the bottle.*he was embarrassed and blushed* 

james- well then why are you alone?

Riley- isn't it everyone.. *she said while giving him this penetrating cold stare. James looked at her with more intrigue he was really curious about her. he took of his tie and started to play with it in his hands. he looked like it was having a bad time some said that he looked sad.

Riley with just one look could see the mind of this mans was trying to get over something*- and you what are you hiding. *she said sitting in a couch that was under the window and in front of him but at the side corner of the bed*

James- first of all im not hiding* he said trying to mimic her *Riley smiled*

Riley- oh ok. you look very tense to be the day of your wedding why aren't you with your wife?...

James- mjh i don't know maybe.. because i got an arranged marriage and i don't really love her like that and just married her because of my father.

*yess riley said in her mind, she was going in the right direction*

Riley- i knew it, you have that type of look of my father is an asshole,* he just sighed and laughed* but don't worry my dad is an asshole too.

James- *with his arms on in legs sitting on the bed and was looking to the floor and when she said that, he looked up and looked at her with more interest*- you still haven't told me your name- *he was starstruck by her, he loved how mysterious she was*

Riley- das not important, i wanna know why you think your so miserable. 

back with Mac

Mac was hearing the hole conversation between the groom and Riley. He managed to move the painting without activating any alarm, the cameras of the place had already been manipulated by Riley so the image they were looking at security was a frozen image of the empty rooms. he hid and had to wait until Oliver and the man who was going to buy it came in, but he was thinking why was Riley talking with the groom and couldn't stop thinking what was happening there and why was she  alone with him in that room.

         .........................................................................................................

later will post the whole story, let me know if you would like me to add photos to the story or if you guys prefer to remove them, i like to add them for you, so yall can see what i actually imaginated and make it feel real and close like watching in some way the show...¿ idk ahha and of course this is the following of the las one “i'm here if you need me”. Ik this one had little macriley, but i love to see the jealous angus. (And don't ask me how but that trick of the beer it has really worked for me lol)

[mirandaisanangel]

Chapter 10 - Anon 1

Miranda and Brendan were back in NY. She still couldn’t believe he had surprised her in Texas. They got to spend sometime with her family. Nonny and Bev scaring him shitless, although he’d never admit it. NYE was in two days and for the first time Miranda was celebrating it in NY. Brendan had to work but he had told her there was a special spot that Officer spouses got to stay. She was nervous at first. She didn’t want their secret to come out, but she also didn’t want to be alone so she agreed. Truth be told she couldn’t wait to kiss her officer at midnight. “You know it’s gonna be cold so you are gonna need to dress in layers. Lucky for you you don’t have to worry about losing your spot. You can go to the bathroom and come back” Brendan had said to Miranda. “Good! Because I don’t know if I could stay in the cold that long without going to the bathroom and I’m not wearing a diaper.” They both laughed as Miranda got ready for bed.

NYE

NYE was finally here. Brendan had already gone to work, but told Miranda that he would drop her pass off when he got to take a break. It was all hands on deck and he had to work more than he normally did. She couldn’t wait to be able to be out in a crowd with no one who would care that she’s there and she gets to kiss her man at midnight. She had decided to rent an apartment this trip. It was more private for them, less of a chance of a run in, and they would be able to have his son and not have to worry about him having to stay at his parents house. They got to act like a little family. Miranda was in the room they were using as Landon’s when Brendan came home for lunch. He saw her in the room putting some stuff away and he just stood at the door. He couldn’t take his eyes off her as she got the room ready. He didn’t know how he had gotten so lucky. “You just gonna keep staring like a creep, or are you gonna come say hi” Miranda said snapping him out of his thoughts. “Sorry babe. Your just gorgeous and seeing you put stuff away in Landon’s room makes my heart jump.” “Your so sweet” Miranda said as she went to kiss Brendan. “Here’s your pass. I wish I could stay longer but I need to get back. When you get there just show them. They will page me and I’ll come and get you to bring you where Im gonna be stationed.” “Okay I’ll see you later.” Brendan walked out after a kiss and one last look. Miranda decided to take a nap before she had to get ready to go. It was 7:30pm when she walked out the door. She got an uber to take her as close to where she needed to be as she could. “Hi my boyfriend told me to show you the pass and you would page him.” “Sure. Mcloughlin your girlfriend is here” the officer said. “He will be here in 5 minutes come on behind the barricade.” Miranda did as she was told and took in everything around her. The noise, the amount of different people who lined the streets that you could normally walk down but now it was packed like sardines. Brendan had gotten a moment to go get Miranda. He saw her looking around at what was going on. It was overwhelming for anyone, but especially for a small town girl who really never was in the city. He took in his beautiful she looked in her boots, jeans, coat, hair down with an earmuff headband on. Makeup that wasn’t too much, it was just enough to highlight her eyes which he loved and a deep red on her lips. “It’s a lot to take in isn’t it” he said as he approached her. “Yes it is officer Mcloughlin” Miranda teased as he kissed her hello. He grabbed her hand as they walked towards where he was gonna be stationed. She watched him work as they waited for the ball to drop. He was wearing his jacket so she couldn’t see his arm muscles, but she couldn’t get over how gorgeous he looked. They caught each other’s eyes here and there. Stealing a smile and laugh when they could. Midnight was a minute away and brendan had made sure he made his way to Miranda. They stood next to each other as the countdown started. As the last ten seconds started both thought of the year they had. For Brendan he had a broken engagement, a baby, and fallen for a woman who he never thought he’d be able to get. For Miranda she lost a boyfriend she thought would be her forever, was caught in a scandle she wished she could forget about, learned about herself more than she ever did, and fell for a man who literally swept her off her feet and she never thought would go further. Both hoping that this was their end game. 5.4.3.2.1 Happy New year was screamed by the crowds around them. Brendan grabbed Miranda into his arms and they shared their first kiss of the new year. A new start, a relationship that was still new, and a new love that was budding more and more each day. “Happy New Year beautiful” “Happy New Year officier”

It was the next day. Brendan was off of work since he had to work longer then normal the night before. He had left a little early that morning to pick up Landon. He didn’t want his ex to know anything about his relationship yet and didn’t want her to see where he was staying. They drove to the house to meet Miranda. As they got out of the car Miranda was at the front door waiting with a smile on her face. “How was the drive” she asked as she kissed Brendan hello. “It was okay. He slept the whole way so he should be out for another hour or two. Brendan had taken the baby out of his car seat and put him in the crib he was gonna be staying in. “Babe can you put the bottles in the fridge.” Miranda did as he asked and she started shaking her head. If someone told her this would be her life a year ago she never would’ve believed it. “I’m gonna go take a nap while he’s asleep. I’m still exhausted from last night. Why don’t you come lay with me?” Brendan said to Miranda while pulling her into their room. They laid down and both fell asleep. Miranda woke to Landon crying. Brendan was still sleeping so she got out of bed quietly trying to let him sleep a little longer. She tip toed out the room and closed the door. Walking straight to Landon’s room. “Hi buddy. How are you? Let’s see what’s going on.” As she picked him up she noticed he needed a diaper change. “Oh buddy you need a new diaper. Let’s get you one and then I’ll get you a bottle. I want your daddy to sleep a little longer since he was busy last night. I hope you don’t mind spending a little time with me.” Miranda said to the baby. He just stared at her so she took that as he was okay with it. After she threw the diaper out and the bottle was heated she walked to the couch and turned the tv on as she sat down. She fed the baby as she watched HGTV. She got so many ideas on stuff she could do to the farm and the apartment she was in. Once the baby finished the bottle she burped him and started to play with him. She started to sing to him softly and the baby stared up at her in awe. Little did she know brendan was watching from the door. He had woken up and didn’t see her in bed, walked to the baby’s room and didn’t see him, but he heard her singing lowly and followed it. He couldn’t take his eyes off his girl and his baby in her arms. He knew this was what he wanted to always have. Miranda looked over and noticed Brendan watching them. “Hi daddy why don’t you come join us.” He did as Miranda said and sat next to her. He kissed his son and his girlfriend. “I hope you don’t mind you were out cold and he woke up so I changed him and fed him. I figured you should get some sleep since you worked so much yesterday.” “I don’t mind at all. Thanks for letting me get some sleep” Brendan said as he kissed her. They spent some time playing with the baby. They are dinner, fed and bathed the baby. It was time to put him to bed and as Miranda helped put him down for the night she didn’t expect what would come out of Brendan. As they quietly walked out of the room Brendan was a step behind. He grabbed them a glass of wine and started a fire in the fire place. He handed Miranda her glass. They both took a sip and put their glasses down, Miranda cuddled into his arms as they started a movie. Brendan kissed her head and whispered in her ear “Marry Me”!

[kurtsvonneslut]

rebecca x audra who starts the most arguments

BRO im literally gonna answer all the questions idc BUCKLE UP

send me a ship

who hogs the duvet: fucking AUDRA and rebecca steals it back and it starts a whole ass blanket fight every single timewho texts/rings to check how their day is going: rebecca but specifically she wants to make sure audra’s thinking about her when they’re apartwho’s the most creative when it comes to gifts: audra and it’s a point of pride for herwho gets up first in the morning: obviously audrawho suggests new things in bed: rebecca but audra is secretly thinking it way before rebecca says anythingwho cries at movies: both of them but if u tell anyone audra WILL slit ur throat while ur asleepwho gives unprompted massages: audrawho fusses over the other when they’re sick: rebecca bc audra is a germophobe and she will not go near rebecca if she’s sickwho gets jealous easiest: both of them are jealous freakswho has the most embarrassing taste in music: rebecca but she’s absolutely not embarrassed about itwho collects something unusual: audra has a collection of weird wine glasses like she has one that’s a cowboy boot and one that’s a frog shit like thatwho takes the longest to get ready: audrawho is the most tidy and organized: definitely audra we have seen rebecca when she gets into a depression :(who gets most excited about the holidays: rebecca bc she loves to decorate and sing christmas songs even though she doesn’t celebrate christmas they’re still bops afwho is the big spoon/little spoon: they switch but again if u tell anyone audra is lil spoon she will erase ur identity from existencewho gets most competitive when playing games and/or sports: both of them but audra is more mean and rebecca just secretly cries when she loseswho starts the most arguments: AUDRAwho suggests that they buy a pet: rebecca like every 5 minuteswhat couple traditions they have: making out in the courtroom, talking shit abt their moms, laughing at their ex boyfriends’ social mediawhat tv shows they watch together: the entirety of disney+what other couple they hang out with: valencia + bethhow they spend time together as a couple: usually fucking or teasing each other abt random shitwho made the first move: audra bc she’s a power topwho brings flowers home: also audra but if u tell anyone she will blackmail ur boss into killing u so she doesn’t have to get her hands dirtywho is the best cook: audra; rebecca gets too distracted and burns everything

[chimcharstar]

ANSWER 1 THROUGH 65 HO

65 Questions You Aren't Used To

WPOOOOO LETS GO 

Y E E T

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

nnnnooooooo. its called holding onto my last marble.

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1. sometimes i can freak myself out going to the bathroom at night but bro. i take walks at like 11pm or whenever the hell i please. and i LIKE IT.

3. The person you would never want to meet?

i would not care to meet dick face

4. What is your favorite word?

worm

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

well darn i dont really knowwww!!!!!!! the big jungle one from minecraft. but i love weeping willows of course.

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

i didnt think

7. What shirt are you wearing?

my pyjama shirt from new vegas. las vegas. oh my god. not that i went there. my friend did. ive been wearing it for 3 days now. because its fine.

8. What do you label yourself as?

androgynouOOUUSSSSSSS i heard it described the most accurately for me as “in between blue and pink, purple is a blend while not being either of them.” yes this SPECIFICALLY. i could never be feminine while female presenting, but now that im usually read as masculine i go around seeming gay as fuck. and even though this sounds like heresy considering how i instinctively want to throat punch people who feminize me, i have comfortably considered myself a woman lately ONLYYYYYYYY BY being as butch as a butch can possibly butch. maybe without the cars. i would NEVER go by she/her NEVER NEVER NEVER. like there literally are butch women who go on T and use he/him pronouns. that brings me euphoria too and i find people reallllyyyyyy get mind-bent at this point. i really also get irritated at the idea that identifying with both lessens one or the other... thats why i like the purple thing so much. like im 100% of the thing. i was watching on queer eye, once, there was this part where all these women met up and one of them who was really masculine was saying how “a woman can look like this too” and i was like “i am probably crying for an important reason right now” and sometimes i feel attraction to women that is nOT of the ManTM just... i can do what i want. 

but my point is it’s like im only happy if i have a blend. theres even a particular quality of it i can put my finger on, like a rugged, handsome feel... and then a flamboyant, passionate feel... mix em all up... 

9. Bright room or dark room?

BRIGHTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT 

GUHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

transition juice, or fucking around with cs paint with some gentle existential dread

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

this one, because my life is not hell, and i know a few basics about adulting now

12. Who told you they loved you last?

the sister. i said it for damage control because she had blown a fuse the other day. i was being very fake on purpose because i’m not being vulnerable with someone who will blow up. when she says it all i feel is pain. like cold paralyzing needles in my soul. i cant say i love you to her and mean it, even if i want to. honestly i wish people would say this to me. the most i love yous i remember are from family members putting band aids on the wreckage of our relationships, so i can feel a little twang of guilt and longing for what could have been and should have been. and feel like i should be doing something more. and feeling awkward because you both know they fucked up and it’s the elephant in the room. and i can feel their confusion and sickness causing them pain, feeling that pain for them. 

13. Your worst enemy?

hmmm. anyone who made me feel like less than i am. anyone 

14. What is your current desktop picture?

cherry blossoms and a city at night that i stole off the internet

15. Do you like someone?

like like crushes right? i fucking wish. i am so god damn sick of myself. i dont feel fuck or shit for anyone. its a fucking wasteland. yes im on T so i want to fuck anything that moves. and yet? can i please have some feelings? please may i have some feelings? not aesthetic appreciation. not moral, personality appreciation. or even just a deep respect and compassion. these are all fine things of course. but cant someone just drive me crazy? cant i have that extra spice of life? cant i just have a little bit of happy crazy? i will know a perfectly lovely person and ill WANT to have feelings for them. but i FUCKEN DONT. I DONT!!!! SHIT!!!!! WHAT IS THE MEANIGN?!?!??!??!?!1 i have fucking YET to meet anyone im more obsessed with than some really gay ocs. come on universe!!!! bring it!!! poor oscar. poor fucking oscar. whatever wavelength im vibing on man you are not on it. i wish you were on it. i wish you were on it oscar. you are hot you are hot with your bike oscar. and the rose quartz i gave you. the rose quartz you wanted. but i feel no authentic electric connection to you. i feel like all i just see is how your brain works with a coolheaded certainty. all i do is analyze what you are wearing so i can be as hot as you. maybe id like to draw you. and girls from work. you are so beautiful and amazing. i see you in bikinis on instagram. and im like oh beauty standards. look at you go, adhering to them. my heart rate goes right along at the same old pace. dont tell me this is principles. does someone have to smell bad? like edward cullen?? CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE JUST SEDUCE ME?!!!?? ID LOVE SOME EXTRA WILL TO LIVE! THEN MY STORIES WILL BE BETTER!!!! see this is the whole problem

16. The last song you listened to?

what am i to you by finn the human or actually that asgore fight song that i do not know the context of and dont want to until i play the game for myself

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

i would save this button for a karen.

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

jk rowling. every time i see her face in a news article about why her bland new transphobia anvil book is pretty bland without addressing the raging transphobia in it and around it, i take a minute and contemplate shoving a pie in her face, and agonizing that i cannot do it from this distance.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

a... slave? is this a kink thing? im fucking laughing this is going to be so honest. probably a toxic person from my past i have unresolved sexual tension with, especially since i was in my abused kid shell and was a huge doormat so now im all vengeful with issues. since this is totally something i am open to considering right now i would like to browse this concept’s menu

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

yknow what? yknow what? i am just going to say all of me. i am feeling very body positive right now. i often feel isolated as fuck because of trans stuff and male body standards, but thats Also What Makes Me Special :) i like me, i like my face, i think i am very cool and unique, and i can walk fast.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

GOD DAMN IT THIS FUCKING QUESTION AGAIN

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

yes. but it’s a secret.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

deep sea creatures. idk. even if its small and not even ugly. i just lose my fucking mind. i jump out of my chair. i get the heebies and the jeebies.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

okay. chicken. cheese. something spicy so it wont be boring. a fuck ton of veggies so i can be healthy. and some olives, fuck olive haters.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

IM GOING TO GIVE IT TO MY LANDLORD <3

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

mexico city to see what all my friends are talking about.

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

............................................................................

w    h       y

okay. i would go around tasting a bunch of fucking. really fancy old wines. listen i dont really drink okay. but with a very fancy old wine i can go around with a like, glass and look really sophisticated and tell gay things to gay people. hello boys. so id find one that strategically i would like the most for the rest of my life and choose it. and if its expensive i can sell it.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place?

i would stick a bell in the middle of it and all of us have to go there at six o’clock and throw bread at each other and fuck.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

cunt. i dont really use it ever, but boy it can pack a punch! 

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

that means my trees because theyre living things? good. my phone. i need it to function. everything else i have on the clouds and i can just write on a napkin if i really need.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

:( 

i wanna say nothing because the good and the bad made me who i am and all that. and they’re learning experiences and healthy stuff. but some of my sisters abuse that has destroyed my psyche, literally just ruined my life, it would make things easier if that hadnt happened.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

WHAT I WANNA KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS LIFE STOP TELL ME HOW I GET THERE

Okay i’m moving to... greece and i’m going to study ancient greek everything and live right on the edge of the sea where the water’s lapping the doorsteps. and im gonna learn greek by immersion

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

i am not surprised whatsoever death is a cool entity.

probably someone who died really sadly and too soon in my life (no one close to me thank god) but just as a service to society

34. What was your last dream about?

wolves with bombs were chasing me around a giant university. it was all part of the game. i was trying to protect some people... soldiers were chasing me... i was hiding under the floor... hiding from authorities and war are VERY common dreams for me

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Writer? Yes. am i saying that to sound full of myself? no. i am fighting very hard to maintain some self-confidence. i have done some writing recently and i am proud as fuck of myself. i caught myself thinking, “now that was banging, i know that was banging.” and so i just admitted it to myself.

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

nooooot reeeaaaalllyyyyyy. i went in an ambulance for my face swelling up! still dont know if i needed to. still think i was allergic to the person i was talking to at the time. seriously when i stopped talking to them the hives went away. they literally gave me hives sdjfnskjndsjknfkjsfnjskdnfdsjknfjknf

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

yes

38. What is the color of your socks?

they have inuyashas on them

39. What type of music do you like?

dark, longing, aching, angry, raw, disappointed, serious, low songs that get intense as fuck.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

sunrises for the concept, sunsets for the looks

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

you know what? i dont really like milkshakes. they dont feel good in my tummy even if it’s not my stomach having a fucking meltdown.

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

the fuck is football

43. Do you have any scars?

yes, most of them are from dermatillomania, two big cool-looking ones on my hands from touching a cookie sheet without an oven mitt and pouring microwaved coffee all over my thumb because literally every inch of the counter had a foot of dishes on it and i didn’t simply heat up the water normally because everything was dirty

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

i want to be a psychologist and an author

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

id like a dong please

46. Are you reliable?

yeeeeeesssssss...... but the adhd wins sometimes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

future self: even if you’re in a worse off place than where i am right now, don’t regret anything, don’t beat yourself up. sometimes it’s realistic to have hope. you don’t have to be hard on yourself all the time just because it’s familiar and natural to you. so stop thinking “if i see a note from my past self ill be filled with rueful self awareness”

48. Do you hold grudges?

yes. i feel like im saving my soul a little and taking some power back when i am able to say “that hurt, that was wrong, and you don’t get access to me anymore, i don’t have to forgive you” it’s admitting that my own pain is real so i can listen to and protect myself. i wish i was more of a forgiving person but i spent too much time trying to forgive unorganically for the sake of being moral that i just can’t, can’t can’t now. it hurts so existentially and i deserve better. time for me to be mean and hold grudges. a little mean is okay.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

a DOG  CAT????????

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

“doesn’t having a human-shaped robot with smoke coming out of it in the corner of your shop scare you late at night?”

“yes, sometimes i see it and jump a little”

51. Are you a good liar?

yes, when i’m dedicated. getting my birth certificate back? oscar worthy

52. How long could you go without talking?

i live like this lmao

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

once upon a time i had bangs. and a bob cut

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

yes bitch

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

yes bitch i can do a convincing british accent but i don’t want to broadcast that fact because being british is cringe and plus my name is gordon and im already trans and interested in cooking and my greatest fear is that people think i am trying to become him when i am deeply offended when people assume i make personal decisions for anyone other than myself. no one has ever actually voiced this theory to me but it haunts me late at night. i can honestly probably do any accent if i listen to it for a little bit. i find it very easy to imitate sounds and like individual speaking styles to the point of stealing them even when i dont want to. like actually this is something that just comes to me easily i think.

56. What do you like on your toast?

fuck toast. i make a grill cheese. cheese and garlic.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

i tried digitally painting a generic girl who ended up looking really simliar to someone i went to school with only i made the eyes way too small and i would show you except it’s too much work

58. What would be you dream car?

vw bug with giant monster wheels, black with flames, big booming stereo. eyelashes in a drag way. ill run pickup trucks off the road

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

i sang in the shower back when i felt free to annoy everyone in the house. oH WAIT IT DOESNT ANNOY PEOPLE WHO ARE KIND TO ME

...........

they taught me i was annoying. ANYWAY. i am too shy to sing in the shower but id love to. i dont really do anything unusual except that i take really long in there but yknow im not actually doing what people think im doing when i take long. im literally just sitting there decomposing, head empty.

60. Do you believe in aliens?

yes, of course, i have been telling everyone theres water under mars since day one and now look. now look

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

yes. im a sagittarius and clearly it is needed because CLEARLY theres no other fucking sagittariuses

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

G, because my name starts with that and i’m just great. really, i like... it has a chonk to it. like a reliable chonk to it

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

YKNOW WHAT? im going with dragons because of the fantasy, fire breathing and so on but yknow for my wip i was going to have both dragons and dinosaurs at a reptile like shelter

64. What do you think about babies?

i think they should be loved and nurtured, but they are too much work for me to want for myself at this point of life, and you should definitely read some manuals before having one if you can because people can and do mess this the fuck up

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

you didn’t ask anything here so im just going to tell you something. i am going to tell you that i have always been so hell bent on writing even when i hate it because sometimes when things are going well i feel like i am just so in another world and i feel like im doing something im really really supposed to do. it is such a euphoria and it has an effect on my whole aura. i really wish i had never made myself stop but we can’t change the past so i shall just have to never stop again.

THANKS HOOOOO

[ratpresenting]

1-100

Unusual asks! 1. Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? Spotify all the way, I have like, 40 playlists and I use it every day2. Is your room messy or clean?So messy, but I clean it up once it really bugs me3. What color are your eyes?Green-ish?4. Do you like your name? why?Not really, it's a really common name and i don't really feel it fits me, but I'm fine with it. My middle name is Elizabeth and I've always wanted to go by Eli but its too far gone now5. What is your relationship status? I'll stick with complicated6. Describe your personality in 3 words or lessFriendly, obnoxious, anxious7. What color hair do you have?Dirty blond8. What kind of car do you drive? color?I don't have a car, but if I'm saving up for one and its going to be a motorcycle, not a car. 📣(I hate everything about cars!!!)9. Where do you shop?Mostly thrift stores and consignment stores10. How would you describe your style?Like, 80s mom meets 90s grunge meets modern goth witch11. Favorite social media accountProbably twitter at this point12. What size bed do you have? Queen 👑13. Any siblings?A half-sister, shes a little older than me though, and she lives across the country, but i love her and miss her!14. If you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why?Probably Eastern Canada because my family is super Canadian and i just love it there15. Favorite snapchat filter? Idk any really, I guess that one that makes ur eyes and mouth really big because my friend uses it alot and its so funny!16. Favorite makeup brand(s)Mostly Tarte and Urban Decay; Tarte because I'm allergic to most other shit and Urban Decay because I love the Naked palettes and I will suffer for them17. How many times a week do you shower?I wash my hair every few days but I shower like once a week in the winter and every couple days in the summer18. Favorite tv show?Brooklyn 99 or Game of Thrones19. Shoe size?8-ish20. How tall are you?5'9" if I stand up straight21. Sandals or sneakers? Depends on where I'm going, I like my feet to breathe, but boots and sneakers can be so cool and really put together and outfit22. Do you go to the gym? I have a gym membership that I sometimes use, but not having a vehicle right now is imposing on that23. Describe your dream dateA date that keeps going. Starting with food or drinks or whatever, and having such a good time that you keep it going and you go somewhere else, and another place. Enjoying each others' company so much that you don't want the night to end, even if that means staying up until the sun comes up. It doesn't matter if we're just sitting in a park talking and smoking cigarettes, its that neverending want that matters to me. 24. How much money do you have in your wallet at the moment?Cash, $12. I mostly use my debit card so i don't really carry cash25. What color socks are you wearing? I am not wearing socks right now because I am in bed but usually black26. How many pillows do you sleep with?1 under my head but usually at least 3 in my bed, well as all the shit thats on the left half of my bed27. Do you have a job? what do you do? Yes I work at a restaurant called Tokyo Joe's, I'm the unofficial assistant manager, and I am most often making sushi or taking out food and such.28. How many friends do you have? Including work friends I have 5, not including work I have 3. 29. Whats the worst thing you have ever done? Broke up a couple. Its whole thing.30. Whats your favorite candle scent? This candle I got from Ross, its tobacco leaf and Rose, but I'm more of an incense gal31. 3 favorite boy namesCharlie, Adrian, and Danny32. 3 favorite girl namesEli, Andi, and Dani (These and the last 3 are interchangable because I like genderless names)33. Favorite actor? Idk any off the top of my head, mostly because I kind of hate men, I really like Chadwick Boseman's acting, and I really like Leonardo DiCaprio as a person34. Favorite actress? This is really hard because I love lots of ladies, but acting wise I like Charlize Theron and Natalie Portman I guess? Idk I've seen like 7 movies. I love my gal Kristen Stewart though35. Who is your celebrity crush?I have several, more well known being the aforementioned kstew, and some lesser known names such as Lynn Gunn, Paris Jackson, and Hannah Hart36. Favorite movie? This is so hard, I guess the lotr trilogy because I can always watch that if I want to. I'm really more of a tv show kinda gal37. Do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? I used to when I was younger, I stopped when my depression took over pretty much my whole life, but I've been slowly getting back into it. I used to read a lot of teen fiction and my favorite was always Harry Potter, but now my favorite book is probably Through the Looking Glass, just because I loved it as a kid and its a nice nostalgia read, as well as a unique and creative book.38. Money or brains? Always brains.39. Do you have a nickname? what is it? Not really but I wish I did!40. How many times have you been to the hospital?I myself have had to go to the hospital only once that I can remember, ( I crashed my motorcycle) but other than that a few times for visiting family/ friends41. Top 10 favorite songsIn no particular order-Anyone Else, Pvris-Somebody Else, The 1975-In A Week, Hozier-Cherry Wine, Hozier-Pork Soda, Glass Animals-Interlude 1, Alt-J-Agnes, Glass Animals-If I Believe You, The 1975-Obsidian, Trevor Hall-From The Dining Table, Harry Styles42. Do you take any medications daily? I'm supposed to take allergy medicine but I never do so no43. What is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc)Kind of on the dry side, I'm a lucky shit though because I barely take care of it and its pretty nice and soft44. What is your biggest fear? Everyone hating me45. How many kids do you want? A couple, adopted only46. Whats your go to hair style?I have pretty short hair thats curly. The sides and back are short and the top is curly, parted on the left,so it hangs just above my right eye47. What type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) Smallish condo with my ma!48. Who is your role model? Hannah Hart!49. What was the last compliment you received?My coworker said I have a very elegant air to me, especially when I tell stories, because I always cross my legs and i talk very extravagantly with my hands50. What was the last text you sent?My coworker Kaylee❤ dropped me off and I let her know I was in my house because you can't see my house from the street and she worries51. How old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real?I don't think I ever believed in him?52. What is your dream car? I'm gonna replace car with motorcycle and its an Zero SR ❤53. Opinion on smoking?Unfortunately, I smoke. I love cigarettes! I smoke Newport 100s. I bought a vape to help me smoke less and it definitely helps!54. Do you go to college? Ya, I'm very slowly getting my associates at MCC55. What is your dream job? I have no idea, but something I enjoy doing, and hopefully something that makes changes for the better56. Would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? I truly just want to live in the middle of the woods and be a woodland witch 57. Do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? No, I have too expensive of shampoo for that and thats a stupid waste of plastic.58. Do you have freckles? Not like the classic type, but I have some random ones on my body.59. Do you smile for pictures?Almost always60. How many pictures do you have on your phone? Over 200061. Have you ever peed in the woods? Yes, I've been camping several times62. Do you still watch cartoons? Not really63. Do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds?I don't eat chicken nuggets because they are 1. Chicken and 2. Garbage64. Favorite dipping sauce? Balsamic vinegar or Sriracha, depending on what it is. 65. What do you wear to bed? I sleep nakey 66. Have you ever won a spelling bee?Maybe? I don't know67. What are your hobbies?Sometimes reading, sometimes writing, alot of staring at my wall in the dark while listening to music68. Can you draw? Not well, but thats not gonna stop me!69. Do you play an instrument?Nope70. What was the last concert you saw? I haven't been to a concert in a really long time but i think the 1975? 71. Tea or coffee?TeaStarbucks or Dunkin Donuts?72. Dunkin has better coffee but Starbucks has better literally everything else, and the Starbucks next to my work is literally my sanctuary and all the gals that work there are such sweethearts I love them all so much even though they probably hate me.73. Do you want to get married?Someday far from now, and really only for adoption purposes74. What is your crush’s first and last initial?Denied75. Are you going to change your last name when you get married? Idk it depends if their last name is coer than mine76. What color looks best on you? Probably blue but im partial to black77. Do you miss anyone right now? Yes78. Do you sleep with your door open or closed?Closed79. Do you believe in ghosts?Yes!80. What is your biggest pet peeve? Rudeness just to be rude81. last person you calledMy coworker Kaylee❤82. Favorite ice cream flavor? I'm more of a shaved ice or sorbet gal, but i love the Ben and Jerry's line of almond and coconut milk ice creams!83. Regular oreos or golden oreos? Lemon!84. Chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? I guess chocolate? Rainbow sprinkles are literally flavorless sugar85. What shirt are you wearing? I was wearing an old '92 Hard Rock Cafe shirt from Hawaii that I snatched from my ma and turned into a crop too86. What is your phone background?My home screen is a golden sunset cloud photo I took a while back and my lockscreen is a picture i took in the woods of a tree with mushrooms growing on it87. Are you outgoing or shy?I am usually shy but I work customer service so if I have to be I can be very outgoing, its so draining though88. Do you like it when people play with your hair?Yes! Please do!89. Do you like your neighbors? I mean, I don't know them but 2 of the 3 smoke weed so they're probably pretty cool!90. Do you wash your face? at night? in the morning?Look it gets washed when it gets washed let's not discuss it91. Have you ever been high? I spent ages 17-19 almost exclusively high. I don't really remember a lot of it92. Have you ever been drunk? Yes, several times. I am a lovey drunk and I love to kiss when I'm drunk. Or cry. Just depends who I'm around93. Last thing you ate? Diced cucumbers with lemon and salt and some white rice with peanut sauce and onions94. Favorite lyrics right now"Where does your body go when I leave you alone?Would your heart know if I met you in a brand new set of bones?Cause you may see me in different bodiesHiding below with the same soul"Same Soul, Pvris95. Summer or winter? Winter, but only because I live in Arizona so winter means like, 70 degrees96. Day or night? I like being out and about at night but there's no where to go because everything is closed97. Dark, milk, or white chocolate? Only dark. Like, at least 80% dark98. Favorite month? I like October, the weather is nice and it has a fun atmosphere, plus Halloween!99. What is your zodiac sign?My Sun sign is Capricorn, but I have an Aquarius Stellium and I kind of identify with that more100. Who was the last person you cried in front of? Technically my cat this morning. I don't do alot of public crying. Lots of private crying though! I'm a big baby of emotions

[jimdsmith34]

I’m Starting The Cameran Eubanks Is Over Party

Last week onwas the hunting trip and I hope the group has all recovered from their hangovers. I know I am still feeling yesterdays shenanigans, for one. #NeverDrinkingOnASundayAgain #UntilNextSunday

Kathryn calls Whitney to catch up or get coffee. I hope she doesnt hold her breath waiting for that call to get returned. Or did we watch different season threes?

I really did not need this gratuitous scene of Thomas driving around Charleston telling Kenzie about all the buildings his family owns. Like, we get it. Youre rich and powerful.

Naomie and Craig go to a couples therapist. The therapist looks like one of those cool dad types who wears Hawaiian shirts in his off time and says things like “I’m down. I’m hip. Right, guys?”

Craig: Im not saying that Naomie shouldnt question me ever because shes my girlfriend, Im saying she shouldnt be my girlfriend unless shes willing to have a blind and unwavering devotion to everything I say and do.

That’s not alarming at all…

Honestly, Im kind of with Craig on the whole being from the North is not yelling thing, though.

Craigs denying that he called Naomie a moron. This is truly some Donald Trump level of denial. WE HAVE YOU ON TAPE. Can we roll the playback, please? Craig, welcome to your tape.

Landon show sup to some bar and orders herself a shot and a beer. Respect, honestly.

Landons wearing a flannel because shes trying to attract more lumbersexuals. Where they at in Charleston, though? Also, girl, you have a boyfriend AND another older guy you’re trying to seduce. It’s enough.

Austen asks Landon about Drew who is apparently asking Landon if she loves him. Poor guy, he has no idea whats in store for him.

Landon says shes ready to settle down again because her dog is getting old, basically. Sure, thats as good a reason as any.

Shep walks in and says Where theres smoke theres fire, and Landon and Austen are looking very amorous. Cant you just say they look cozy like a normal fucking person? Also, no they do not look amorous. They look like two people having a normal conversation. Just because you use big words doesn’t mean you’re automatically right.

Drink again because Shep described Chelsea as laissez-faire. Just call her laid back, dude. Shes a person, not an economic theory of capitalism. He also thinks that he should be dating Chelsea because they both DGAF but you cant have two people in a relationship who DGAF; thats just a recipe for disaster. SOMEBODY has to give a fuck.

Thomas visits his dad whos approximately 800 years old. He seems to work for the Museum of the Confederacy

Me:

Thomas dad is like back in the good ol days you could get a hot dog for a nickel and a slave for a dime! Those were the days.

Im sorry but Thomass dad needs his own subtitles because I cannot understand this man for shit. He asks his dad for advice and his dads like Buy low, sell high. Thanks, dad, Why didn’t you just tell him plastics? That would have been just as helpful.

Austen and Chelsea are in some American Ninja Warrior wet dream/obstacle course situation. This looks like a bad date youd see in . NEXT!

Theyre betting each other for kisses like this is fucking middle school.

Oh wow, Austen had an older sister who passed away in an accident. Thats terrible. A moment of silence. This shit is sad.

Austens sisters name was Kyle and Chelsea is like OMG Kyle? Thats my brothers name! Bitch, this is not about you.

Patricias got some bougie-ass friend visiting her who literally specifies what type of glass she wants her vodka tonic in. Come on, this is a vodka tonic, not some expensive wine. Its gonna taste the same regardless of the type of stem on the glass.

Patricia is throwing an Indian themed party to celebrate her lily white friend.

Me:

Kathryn goes into Chelseas salon for a hair cut. I smell a set-up.

Kathryn: Shep told me you were a great stylist, aka the producers are making me come here.

Kathryn: Money doesnt grow on trees spoken by the lady whos trying out modeling instead of getting a real job to support her two infant children.

JD goes over to Thomas house (or office, I cant tell, fuck it) and Thomas is like I heard Kathryn and Elizabeth are hanging out. Like, no shit, they are friends? Thomas brings up Kathryns letter and this shit is long. Like 18 pages front and back long. I’m not recapping the contents of the letter because I fell asleep.

Kathryn: If I were to see Thomas Id just want to give him a big hug.

Ive never heard that synonym for punch to the face before.

Kathryn: Thats the thing with Thomas. Hes such an asshole but hes a good person.

Me trying to figure out how that makes any sense at all:

Patricia and her friend are wearing matching dog caftans. I have no comment. I mean, my grandma (may she rest in peace) used to wear 90s windbreaker tracksuit outfits well into the 2000s, so we all have our things.

Craig and Naomie are getting ready for the party and Craig is like Therapy was great, clearly the lesson we learned was please be nice to me tonight and dont treat me like shit. Real productive session.

Landon shows up to this party alone, so I guess Drew or whatever his name is is officially over.

Patricia is explaining how to eat curry, i.e. you take the rice and you put the curry on top of the rice. Cameron says Oh snap! What, putting shit on top of rice is too much for you to handle, Cam?

Cameran would be sucking up to this lady for not letting people curse at the dinner table. Bitch, please. You asked Shep last week of Chelsea gave him a hard-on. Just because you used the word “weiner” instead of “dick” doesn’t make you a saint. Please drop the Holier Than Thou act.

Patricia brings an Indian healer aka a lady whos gonna bring everyone up into the hot seat and make unfounded speculations about each of them. Can’t wait:

SHEP HAS NO CHILL. Craig goes up there and hes like Will Craig ever admit law isnt his true passion?

Healer lady: No, because law is his true passion.

Boom, roasted by the Indian healer!

Craig asks the healer about his connection with Naomie and the healer calls them soulmates. Naomies face is like fuck you, fuck you fuck you. This is her facial expression:

Kind of an odd reaction to hearing you and your current boyfriend are going to be together forever.

I wonder how much the producers paid this Indian healer to tell Landon that she has a soulmate in this room.

Whitney is bringing up Kathryns sobriety to the healer, aka a woman who doesn’t even know Kathryn, which seems highly inappropriate. What wont these producers do for ratings?

Craig: As a completely objective third party with no personal interest in the matter, I think what Kathryns doing is fine and she should be allowed to apologize.

Cam: Im sick of this, stay out of it!

^Says the woman whos constantly all up in everybodys business.

Honestly, this high society lady getting morally offended by the word fuck needs to fuck off. Come the fuck on, bitch, You were alive when abortions werent legal and youre gonna act like you cant stand hearing the word fuck? One more time because I’m petty: FUCK!!!!

Im truly over Cameran. Im starting the Cameran is over party. Tryna talk about We need to stay out of Thomas and Kathryns business when she stirs up everybodys business. Girl, bye. 

source http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/19/im-starting-the-cameran-eubanks-is-over-party/ from All of Beer http://allofbeer.blogspot.com/2017/07/im-starting-cameran-eubanks-is-over.html

[samanthasroberts]

I’m Starting The Cameran Eubanks Is Over Party

Last week onwas the hunting trip and I hope the group has all recovered from their hangovers. I know I am still feeling yesterdays shenanigans, for one. #NeverDrinkingOnASundayAgain #UntilNextSunday

Kathryn calls Whitney to catch up or get coffee. I hope she doesnt hold her breath waiting for that call to get returned. Or did we watch different season threes?

I really did not need this gratuitous scene of Thomas driving around Charleston telling Kenzie about all the buildings his family owns. Like, we get it. Youre rich and powerful.

Naomie and Craig go to a couples therapist. The therapist looks like one of those cool dad types who wears Hawaiian shirts in his off time and says things like “I’m down. I’m hip. Right, guys?”

Craig: Im not saying that Naomie shouldnt question me ever because shes my girlfriend, Im saying she shouldnt be my girlfriend unless shes willing to have a blind and unwavering devotion to everything I say and do.

That’s not alarming at all…

Honestly, Im kind of with Craig on the whole being from the North is not yelling thing, though.

Craigs denying that he called Naomie a moron. This is truly some Donald Trump level of denial. WE HAVE YOU ON TAPE. Can we roll the playback, please? Craig, welcome to your tape.

Landon show sup to some bar and orders herself a shot and a beer. Respect, honestly.

Landons wearing a flannel because shes trying to attract more lumbersexuals. Where they at in Charleston, though? Also, girl, you have a boyfriend AND another older guy you’re trying to seduce. It’s enough.

Austen asks Landon about Drew who is apparently asking Landon if she loves him. Poor guy, he has no idea whats in store for him.

Landon says shes ready to settle down again because her dog is getting old, basically. Sure, thats as good a reason as any.

Shep walks in and says Where theres smoke theres fire, and Landon and Austen are looking very amorous. Cant you just say they look cozy like a normal fucking person? Also, no they do not look amorous. They look like two people having a normal conversation. Just because you use big words doesn’t mean you’re automatically right.

Drink again because Shep described Chelsea as laissez-faire. Just call her laid back, dude. Shes a person, not an economic theory of capitalism. He also thinks that he should be dating Chelsea because they both DGAF but you cant have two people in a relationship who DGAF; thats just a recipe for disaster. SOMEBODY has to give a fuck.

Thomas visits his dad whos approximately 800 years old. He seems to work for the Museum of the Confederacy

Me:

Thomas dad is like back in the good ol days you could get a hot dog for a nickel and a slave for a dime! Those were the days.

Im sorry but Thomass dad needs his own subtitles because I cannot understand this man for shit. He asks his dad for advice and his dads like Buy low, sell high. Thanks, dad, Why didn’t you just tell him plastics? That would have been just as helpful.

Austen and Chelsea are in some American Ninja Warrior wet dream/obstacle course situation. This looks like a bad date youd see in . NEXT!

Theyre betting each other for kisses like this is fucking middle school.

Oh wow, Austen had an older sister who passed away in an accident. Thats terrible. A moment of silence. This shit is sad.

Austens sisters name was Kyle and Chelsea is like OMG Kyle? Thats my brothers name! Bitch, this is not about you.

Patricias got some bougie-ass friend visiting her who literally specifies what type of glass she wants her vodka tonic in. Come on, this is a vodka tonic, not some expensive wine. Its gonna taste the same regardless of the type of stem on the glass.

Patricia is throwing an Indian themed party to celebrate her lily white friend.

Me:

Kathryn goes into Chelseas salon for a hair cut. I smell a set-up.

Kathryn: Shep told me you were a great stylist, aka the producers are making me come here.

Kathryn: Money doesnt grow on trees spoken by the lady whos trying out modeling instead of getting a real job to support her two infant children.

JD goes over to Thomas house (or office, I cant tell, fuck it) and Thomas is like I heard Kathryn and Elizabeth are hanging out. Like, no shit, they are friends? Thomas brings up Kathryns letter and this shit is long. Like 18 pages front and back long. I’m not recapping the contents of the letter because I fell asleep.

Kathryn: If I were to see Thomas Id just want to give him a big hug.

Ive never heard that synonym for punch to the face before.

Kathryn: Thats the thing with Thomas. Hes such an asshole but hes a good person.

Me trying to figure out how that makes any sense at all:

Patricia and her friend are wearing matching dog caftans. I have no comment. I mean, my grandma (may she rest in peace) used to wear 90s windbreaker tracksuit outfits well into the 2000s, so we all have our things.

Craig and Naomie are getting ready for the party and Craig is like Therapy was great, clearly the lesson we learned was please be nice to me tonight and dont treat me like shit. Real productive session.

Landon shows up to this party alone, so I guess Drew or whatever his name is is officially over.

Patricia is explaining how to eat curry, i.e. you take the rice and you put the curry on top of the rice. Cameron says Oh snap! What, putting shit on top of rice is too much for you to handle, Cam?

Cameran would be sucking up to this lady for not letting people curse at the dinner table. Bitch, please. You asked Shep last week of Chelsea gave him a hard-on. Just because you used the word “weiner” instead of “dick” doesn’t make you a saint. Please drop the Holier Than Thou act.

Patricia brings an Indian healer aka a lady whos gonna bring everyone up into the hot seat and make unfounded speculations about each of them. Can’t wait:

SHEP HAS NO CHILL. Craig goes up there and hes like Will Craig ever admit law isnt his true passion?

Healer lady: No, because law is his true passion.

Boom, roasted by the Indian healer!

Craig asks the healer about his connection with Naomie and the healer calls them soulmates. Naomies face is like fuck you, fuck you fuck you. This is her facial expression:

Kind of an odd reaction to hearing you and your current boyfriend are going to be together forever.

I wonder how much the producers paid this Indian healer to tell Landon that she has a soulmate in this room.

Whitney is bringing up Kathryns sobriety to the healer, aka a woman who doesn’t even know Kathryn, which seems highly inappropriate. What wont these producers do for ratings?

Craig: As a completely objective third party with no personal interest in the matter, I think what Kathryns doing is fine and she should be allowed to apologize.

Cam: Im sick of this, stay out of it!

^Says the woman whos constantly all up in everybodys business.

Honestly, this high society lady getting morally offended by the word fuck needs to fuck off. Come the fuck on, bitch, You were alive when abortions werent legal and youre gonna act like you cant stand hearing the word fuck? One more time because I’m petty: FUCK!!!!

Im truly over Cameran. Im starting the Cameran is over party. Tryna talk about We need to stay out of Thomas and Kathryns business when she stirs up everybodys business. Girl, bye. 

Source: http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/19/im-starting-the-cameran-eubanks-is-over-party/

from All of Beer https://allofbeer.wordpress.com/2017/07/19/im-starting-the-cameran-eubanks-is-over-party/

[adambstingus]

I’m Starting The Cameran Eubanks Is Over Party

Last week onwas the hunting trip and I hope the group has all recovered from their hangovers. I know I am still feeling yesterdays shenanigans, for one. #NeverDrinkingOnASundayAgain #UntilNextSunday

Kathryn calls Whitney to catch up or get coffee. I hope she doesnt hold her breath waiting for that call to get returned. Or did we watch different season threes?

I really did not need this gratuitous scene of Thomas driving around Charleston telling Kenzie about all the buildings his family owns. Like, we get it. Youre rich and powerful.

Naomie and Craig go to a couples therapist. The therapist looks like one of those cool dad types who wears Hawaiian shirts in his off time and says things like “I’m down. I’m hip. Right, guys?”

Craig: Im not saying that Naomie shouldnt question me ever because shes my girlfriend, Im saying she shouldnt be my girlfriend unless shes willing to have a blind and unwavering devotion to everything I say and do.

That’s not alarming at all…

Honestly, Im kind of with Craig on the whole being from the North is not yelling thing, though.

Craigs denying that he called Naomie a moron. This is truly some Donald Trump level of denial. WE HAVE YOU ON TAPE. Can we roll the playback, please? Craig, welcome to your tape.

Landon show sup to some bar and orders herself a shot and a beer. Respect, honestly.

Landons wearing a flannel because shes trying to attract more lumbersexuals. Where they at in Charleston, though? Also, girl, you have a boyfriend AND another older guy you’re trying to seduce. It’s enough.

Austen asks Landon about Drew who is apparently asking Landon if she loves him. Poor guy, he has no idea whats in store for him.

Landon says shes ready to settle down again because her dog is getting old, basically. Sure, thats as good a reason as any.

Shep walks in and says Where theres smoke theres fire, and Landon and Austen are looking very amorous. Cant you just say they look cozy like a normal fucking person? Also, no they do not look amorous. They look like two people having a normal conversation. Just because you use big words doesn’t mean you’re automatically right.

Drink again because Shep described Chelsea as laissez-faire. Just call her laid back, dude. Shes a person, not an economic theory of capitalism. He also thinks that he should be dating Chelsea because they both DGAF but you cant have two people in a relationship who DGAF; thats just a recipe for disaster. SOMEBODY has to give a fuck.

Thomas visits his dad whos approximately 800 years old. He seems to work for the Museum of the Confederacy

Me:

Thomas dad is like back in the good ol days you could get a hot dog for a nickel and a slave for a dime! Those were the days.

Im sorry but Thomass dad needs his own subtitles because I cannot understand this man for shit. He asks his dad for advice and his dads like Buy low, sell high. Thanks, dad, Why didn’t you just tell him plastics? That would have been just as helpful.

Austen and Chelsea are in some American Ninja Warrior wet dream/obstacle course situation. This looks like a bad date youd see in . NEXT!

Theyre betting each other for kisses like this is fucking middle school.

Oh wow, Austen had an older sister who passed away in an accident. Thats terrible. A moment of silence. This shit is sad.

Austens sisters name was Kyle and Chelsea is like OMG Kyle? Thats my brothers name! Bitch, this is not about you.

Patricias got some bougie-ass friend visiting her who literally specifies what type of glass she wants her vodka tonic in. Come on, this is a vodka tonic, not some expensive wine. Its gonna taste the same regardless of the type of stem on the glass.

Patricia is throwing an Indian themed party to celebrate her lily white friend.

Me:

Kathryn goes into Chelseas salon for a hair cut. I smell a set-up.

Kathryn: Shep told me you were a great stylist, aka the producers are making me come here.

Kathryn: Money doesnt grow on trees spoken by the lady whos trying out modeling instead of getting a real job to support her two infant children.

JD goes over to Thomas house (or office, I cant tell, fuck it) and Thomas is like I heard Kathryn and Elizabeth are hanging out. Like, no shit, they are friends? Thomas brings up Kathryns letter and this shit is long. Like 18 pages front and back long. I’m not recapping the contents of the letter because I fell asleep.

Kathryn: If I were to see Thomas Id just want to give him a big hug.

Ive never heard that synonym for punch to the face before.

Kathryn: Thats the thing with Thomas. Hes such an asshole but hes a good person.

Me trying to figure out how that makes any sense at all:

Patricia and her friend are wearing matching dog caftans. I have no comment. I mean, my grandma (may she rest in peace) used to wear 90s windbreaker tracksuit outfits well into the 2000s, so we all have our things.

Craig and Naomie are getting ready for the party and Craig is like Therapy was great, clearly the lesson we learned was please be nice to me tonight and dont treat me like shit. Real productive session.

Landon shows up to this party alone, so I guess Drew or whatever his name is is officially over.

Patricia is explaining how to eat curry, i.e. you take the rice and you put the curry on top of the rice. Cameron says Oh snap! What, putting shit on top of rice is too much for you to handle, Cam?

Cameran would be sucking up to this lady for not letting people curse at the dinner table. Bitch, please. You asked Shep last week of Chelsea gave him a hard-on. Just because you used the word “weiner” instead of “dick” doesn’t make you a saint. Please drop the Holier Than Thou act.

Patricia brings an Indian healer aka a lady whos gonna bring everyone up into the hot seat and make unfounded speculations about each of them. Can’t wait:

SHEP HAS NO CHILL. Craig goes up there and hes like Will Craig ever admit law isnt his true passion?

Healer lady: No, because law is his true passion.

Boom, roasted by the Indian healer!

Craig asks the healer about his connection with Naomie and the healer calls them soulmates. Naomies face is like fuck you, fuck you fuck you. This is her facial expression:

Kind of an odd reaction to hearing you and your current boyfriend are going to be together forever.

I wonder how much the producers paid this Indian healer to tell Landon that she has a soulmate in this room.

Whitney is bringing up Kathryns sobriety to the healer, aka a woman who doesn’t even know Kathryn, which seems highly inappropriate. What wont these producers do for ratings?

Craig: As a completely objective third party with no personal interest in the matter, I think what Kathryns doing is fine and she should be allowed to apologize.

Cam: Im sick of this, stay out of it!

^Says the woman whos constantly all up in everybodys business.

Honestly, this high society lady getting morally offended by the word fuck needs to fuck off. Come the fuck on, bitch, You were alive when abortions werent legal and youre gonna act like you cant stand hearing the word fuck? One more time because I’m petty: FUCK!!!!

Im truly over Cameran. Im starting the Cameran is over party. Tryna talk about We need to stay out of Thomas and Kathryns business when she stirs up everybodys business. Girl, bye. 

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/19/im-starting-the-cameran-eubanks-is-over-party/ from All of Beer https://allofbeercom.tumblr.com/post/163164270437

[allofbeercom]

I’m Starting The Cameran Eubanks Is Over Party

Last week onwas the hunting trip and I hope the group has all recovered from their hangovers. I know I am still feeling yesterdays shenanigans, for one. #NeverDrinkingOnASundayAgain #UntilNextSunday

Kathryn calls Whitney to catch up or get coffee. I hope she doesnt hold her breath waiting for that call to get returned. Or did we watch different season threes?

I really did not need this gratuitous scene of Thomas driving around Charleston telling Kenzie about all the buildings his family owns. Like, we get it. Youre rich and powerful.

Naomie and Craig go to a couples therapist. The therapist looks like one of those cool dad types who wears Hawaiian shirts in his off time and says things like “I’m down. I’m hip. Right, guys?”

Craig: Im not saying that Naomie shouldnt question me ever because shes my girlfriend, Im saying she shouldnt be my girlfriend unless shes willing to have a blind and unwavering devotion to everything I say and do.

That’s not alarming at all…

Honestly, Im kind of with Craig on the whole being from the North is not yelling thing, though.

Craigs denying that he called Naomie a moron. This is truly some Donald Trump level of denial. WE HAVE YOU ON TAPE. Can we roll the playback, please? Craig, welcome to your tape.

Landon show sup to some bar and orders herself a shot and a beer. Respect, honestly.

Landons wearing a flannel because shes trying to attract more lumbersexuals. Where they at in Charleston, though? Also, girl, you have a boyfriend AND another older guy you’re trying to seduce. It’s enough.

Austen asks Landon about Drew who is apparently asking Landon if she loves him. Poor guy, he has no idea whats in store for him.

Landon says shes ready to settle down again because her dog is getting old, basically. Sure, thats as good a reason as any.

Shep walks in and says Where theres smoke theres fire, and Landon and Austen are looking very amorous. Cant you just say they look cozy like a normal fucking person? Also, no they do not look amorous. They look like two people having a normal conversation. Just because you use big words doesn’t mean you’re automatically right.

Drink again because Shep described Chelsea as laissez-faire. Just call her laid back, dude. Shes a person, not an economic theory of capitalism. He also thinks that he should be dating Chelsea because they both DGAF but you cant have two people in a relationship who DGAF; thats just a recipe for disaster. SOMEBODY has to give a fuck.

Thomas visits his dad whos approximately 800 years old. He seems to work for the Museum of the Confederacy

Me:

Thomas dad is like back in the good ol days you could get a hot dog for a nickel and a slave for a dime! Those were the days.

Im sorry but Thomass dad needs his own subtitles because I cannot understand this man for shit. He asks his dad for advice and his dads like Buy low, sell high. Thanks, dad, Why didn’t you just tell him plastics? That would have been just as helpful.

Austen and Chelsea are in some American Ninja Warrior wet dream/obstacle course situation. This looks like a bad date youd see in . NEXT!

Theyre betting each other for kisses like this is fucking middle school.

Oh wow, Austen had an older sister who passed away in an accident. Thats terrible. A moment of silence. This shit is sad.

Austens sisters name was Kyle and Chelsea is like OMG Kyle? Thats my brothers name! Bitch, this is not about you.

Patricias got some bougie-ass friend visiting her who literally specifies what type of glass she wants her vodka tonic in. Come on, this is a vodka tonic, not some expensive wine. Its gonna taste the same regardless of the type of stem on the glass.

Patricia is throwing an Indian themed party to celebrate her lily white friend.

Me:

Kathryn goes into Chelseas salon for a hair cut. I smell a set-up.

Kathryn: Shep told me you were a great stylist, aka the producers are making me come here.

Kathryn: Money doesnt grow on trees spoken by the lady whos trying out modeling instead of getting a real job to support her two infant children.

JD goes over to Thomas house (or office, I cant tell, fuck it) and Thomas is like I heard Kathryn and Elizabeth are hanging out. Like, no shit, they are friends? Thomas brings up Kathryns letter and this shit is long. Like 18 pages front and back long. I’m not recapping the contents of the letter because I fell asleep.

Kathryn: If I were to see Thomas Id just want to give him a big hug.

Ive never heard that synonym for punch to the face before.

Kathryn: Thats the thing with Thomas. Hes such an asshole but hes a good person.

Me trying to figure out how that makes any sense at all:

Patricia and her friend are wearing matching dog caftans. I have no comment. I mean, my grandma (may she rest in peace) used to wear 90s windbreaker tracksuit outfits well into the 2000s, so we all have our things.

Craig and Naomie are getting ready for the party and Craig is like Therapy was great, clearly the lesson we learned was please be nice to me tonight and dont treat me like shit. Real productive session.

Landon shows up to this party alone, so I guess Drew or whatever his name is is officially over.

Patricia is explaining how to eat curry, i.e. you take the rice and you put the curry on top of the rice. Cameron says Oh snap! What, putting shit on top of rice is too much for you to handle, Cam?

Cameran would be sucking up to this lady for not letting people curse at the dinner table. Bitch, please. You asked Shep last week of Chelsea gave him a hard-on. Just because you used the word “weiner” instead of “dick” doesn’t make you a saint. Please drop the Holier Than Thou act.

Patricia brings an Indian healer aka a lady whos gonna bring everyone up into the hot seat and make unfounded speculations about each of them. Can’t wait:

SHEP HAS NO CHILL. Craig goes up there and hes like Will Craig ever admit law isnt his true passion?

Healer lady: No, because law is his true passion.

Boom, roasted by the Indian healer!

Craig asks the healer about his connection with Naomie and the healer calls them soulmates. Naomies face is like fuck you, fuck you fuck you. This is her facial expression:

Kind of an odd reaction to hearing you and your current boyfriend are going to be together forever.

I wonder how much the producers paid this Indian healer to tell Landon that she has a soulmate in this room.

Whitney is bringing up Kathryns sobriety to the healer, aka a woman who doesn’t even know Kathryn, which seems highly inappropriate. What wont these producers do for ratings?

Craig: As a completely objective third party with no personal interest in the matter, I think what Kathryns doing is fine and she should be allowed to apologize.

Cam: Im sick of this, stay out of it!

^Says the woman whos constantly all up in everybodys business.

Honestly, this high society lady getting morally offended by the word fuck needs to fuck off. Come the fuck on, bitch, You were alive when abortions werent legal and youre gonna act like you cant stand hearing the word fuck? One more time because I’m petty: FUCK!!!!

Im truly over Cameran. Im starting the Cameran is over party. Tryna talk about We need to stay out of Thomas and Kathryns business when she stirs up everybodys business. Girl, bye. 

from All Of Beer http://allofbeer.com/2017/07/19/im-starting-the-cameran-eubanks-is-over-party/