#im like a graphic comedian not a graphic designer

[maneaterm1a]

somebody tuck him in

[proheromidoriyashouto]

so this comedian was like, “during the zombie apocalype, comedians are disposable. we serve no purpose. us and graphic designers. that’s okay, it’s just something to make your peace with. but during the zombie apocalypse, what’re we gonna do? make jokes and t-shirts?“

and bro i’m so mad cuz that would be useful you stupid bitch? surrounded by the walking dead, risking my life to find tampons with plastic applicators with the ridges on ‘em between eating dry ramen and rationing toilet paper, you think i wouldn’t appreciate a motherfucker who could make me forget about how few bullets i have left after fighting off raiders and laugh?? or offer me NEW fucking clothes?

who else is thinking creatively out here? the literal braindead? who is left to inherit the spoken word after the fall of civilized society?? and i gotta take clothes from the dead or soon to be or risk entering a mall with a herd in there to find fresh undies and oversized men’s shirts to use as bandages or cheesecloth, and you’re telling me that this asshole has fresh material and fresh material, and you’re not jumping mouth first onto their pussy to get your hands on a graphic tee no one dead or alive has ever worn before me at that moment?!?!?!

you can’t do laundry during the zombie apocalypse. have you heard a laundry machine if it’s unbalanced inside a house now?, or an outdated dryer trying to keep up with a couple of jeans tangled in a wire bra’s straps? that shit is loud as hell! me yelling at the machine to do its job or threaten to come over there? loud as hell! and you know what you arent doing during the zombie apocalypse? being loud as hell! thats no way to survive.

somebody locks themselves inside their print shop and takes up comedy to pass the time and keep from completely losing their mind and then offers me jokes and/or whatever shirts that probably have jokes on ‘em too and you think i’m not gonna bring this bitch whatever currency has become and a good time while im there???

your priorities are all wrong and i hope you get double-barrel testicular torsion all the way up your ass good sir

[stormbrvkers-archived]

the 20 Questions of Positivity

or lack thereof anyway~ got tagged by @bisexualthors (thanks naomi!!) to do dis, and i’m tagging @himboshapt, @nadjas, @damerondjarin, @inthorantine, and @caracynthiadune. no pressure ofc and enjoy! 1. name (4) fictional characters who showcase your personality the best; explanations are optional - (1) rosa diaz (b99); she channels my inner edge lord/ (2) toph beifong (atla); she could step on me for all intents and purposes but her sass is a total mood/ (3) san (princess mononoke); she runs with wolves, literally, the lifelong fantasy i’ve had since i was four/ (4) tsume (wolf’s rain); he’s got trust issues out the wazoo but he’s got a heart of gold underneath, also totally relatable to me now than when i was younger sdfkljds 2. aesthetic - the smell of fresh cut grass while there’s a cool breeze on a sunny day 3. favorite musical/ play - .. can i say Shakespeare’s Midsummer Night’s Dream even though i’ve never seen a live performance? 4. what is the best compliment you’ve ever gotten? - that i look like my mom. it’s great when people i barely know but knew my mom say that, but it weirds me out for a sec when i see it in the mirror 5. how many times have you been in love? - im a libra how dare u   twice, i think. 6. embarrassing story or fact abt yourself that makes you laugh now? - can’t think of one atm sorry 7. favorite disney/pixar movie? - ogod how dare u make me choose  zootopia or brave 8. favorite flower or plant? - succulents (i have 2 right now that are on my mobile bg, named Merry and Pippin)! also wildflowers, and water lilies 9. what’s your favorite holiday? - halloween!! and christmas bcos i love winter and or winter clothes lol 10. name (3) things that made you laugh or smile this last week - (1) my dog woofing in her sleep, (2) finishing my Wolf’s Rain fic, (3) picking fresh fruit bcos it’s hot as hell here in the great country of TX and fruit is a must slkfjwd 11. what song would you play to introduce yourself to someone? - oh god that’s a thing..?  “killer queen” by Queen, or “the Chain” by Fleetwood Mac 12. name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments - watching videos of one of my favorite comedians on Youtube 13. what do/ did/ would you study at college? - i Was aiming to get an associates in Graphic Design and, briefly, i considered changing it to Illustration but i got lazy and saw the measure of a hassle it would’ve been to change my major so i was like Eh this works 14. (kinda) weird question! which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself? - a black hand-me-down tank and my blue Garfield pj pants, most at ease especially since i’m at home all the time (covid horseshit aside) 15. what is a quote you live by? - i don’t really live by (1) quote bcos i like a lot of quotes, but there’s one that shakespeare said, ‘Though she be but little, she is fierce’. mood  16. name the funniest playlist title you have - sldkfjwe welp i don’t rly have that problem bcos, meticulous as i am with playlist titles, i haven’t had the pleasure lol 17. make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context - HARBULARY (sdlfkjwelf) 18. what is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance? - fuck what people may think or say; be a better friend to your gal pals; ask Josh out in hs; appreciate mom more.. also dump whats-his-face asap bc hes a limp-noodle toolbag  19. who is your favorite family member (if your blood relatives suck then mention some1 from your found family)? - (1) my mom was amazing, total saint. (2) my dad’s pretty cool too, i get a lot of my mannerisms from him lol. (3) my grandpa (on my dad’s side) is like my dad lol but he’s always been my fave between he and my grandma as long as i can remember 20. what’s a secret dream of yours? - to make my own graphic novel someday? that’s all i can think of off the top of my head tbh

[the-moon-pal]

A pal of mine did this one and it looked fun (im not tagging em tho bc reasons)

> favorite snack: POPCORN IS SO FUCKING GOOD, im sorry for yelling but its true i love popcorn i would die for it

> favorite place to go on vacation: Anywhere honestly, I don't get to go to alot of places since is very expensive

> song that makes you dance immediately: uuu Revenge babey, if not then hmmm Rasputin

> tea or coffee, what kind: coffee but sweet coffee with milk I don't like bitter stuff

> do you play an instrument: Not anymore but i want to learn the ukelele and the armonica

> fav type of personality: A person with a heart of gold who wishes to protect the ones they love

> favorite comedian: uuUU i don't have one

> gummy candy or chocolate: Gummy Candy, i like the worms too much

> what did you want to be when you grew up: i wanted to design clothes! But not anymore sksksk my sisters crushed that dream by accident

> favorite physical features of yourself: Eyes, and hair!! Also i love my hands

> last time you watched a movie or tv show: i recently watched good omens and coco sjsks

> unpopular opinion: Idk if its unpopular but i hate the fact that sex is such a thing that its always there constantly like god im so fucking tired

Like damn can't yall think of something better?!?! Im so tired do you have to use it in everything

> are you scared of bugs: Yeah

> cats or dogs: Yes

> does the description of your star sign match your personality: Half and half, apparently Aries' are very sexual! Who knew!

> cake or pie: Cakes, I've never had pie in my life tbh ksksks

> last time you read a whole book: ooo idk if the Taz graphic novel counts but i read that jsjs

> favorite junk food: Pizza... Burrito...

> do you like your height: im so small this is transphobia 😔

> apples or oranges: hhnnngg oranges... Good...

> favorite personality trait in someone: Someone funny but can be serious when needed, also open minded ig ksks

> do you like salad: nope, but they healthy

> what person inspires you the most: I don't have any specific things but i think characters from games inspire me sometimes :v

> what song has made you cry: ough hmm Lucretia's song i love her i would die for her kdkdd dkkdk

Im gonna tag.. @dustyshorts only bc i can't remember other people's blog names i apologise :'v but if ur a pal of mine please go ahead!!

[5tinygrapes]

Tag Thingy

Tagged by @skeletonmelodies

Rules: Answer 30 questions and tag 20 people you want to get to know better(?)

GENDER: Female

STAR SIGN: Cancer

HEIGHT: 5'4" maybe 5'5" I don't fucking know

TIME: 3:08 am

FAVOURITE BANDS: PVRIS, My Chemical Romance (yes, still), Waterparks, Green Day, The Killers, Mindless Self Indulgence

FAVOURITE SOLO ARTISTS: Gerard Way, Hayley Kiyoko (I'm gay), Matt Doyle, Grimes

SONG STUCK IN MY HEAD: You're Gonna Go Far Kid by The Offspring

LAST TV SHOW I WATCHED: Rise because... Spring Awakening

WHEN DID I CREATE MY BLOG: I don't even fucking know. A couple of years ago I guess. time isn't real

WHAT DO I POST: memes, weird shit, gay shit, shit shit

LAST THING I GOOGLED: Project MK-ULTRA because I'm a nerd and the CIA is always hiding something, kids.

DO I HAVE OTHER BLOGS: yeah i got a fuckin uhhhh

Crystal blog: @zoelites

Spring awakening: @memento-moritz

Aesthetic: @holo-graph

Also these aren't active but

Haunted mansion: @bringyourdeathcertificate

No face from spirited away: @thelonelymansighs

DO I GET ASKS: one time someone on my crystal blog asked if they could steal my shit. (John mulaney voice) and I said... No...

FOLLOWING: 494

FOLLOWERS: 169 (GUYS THAT'S THE SEX NUMBER)

FAVOURITE COLOURS: orange is my number one always will be, pale pink, bright green, bright red, any bright color

AVERAGE HOURS OF SLEEP: like 4 on a school day, 12 - 14 on a break

LUCKY NUMBERS: 17, 28, 69, 420,

INSTRUMENTS: I can scream really loud

WHAT AM I WEARING: this fucking cars t-shirt with a hole in it too big to wear out of the house and sweatpants. Did I mention Im running for president of my school's fashion club?

HOW MANY BLANKETS I SLEEP WITH: 1 + a comforter

DREAM JOB: graphic designer, cruise ship photographer, or if all of that falls through Im gonna be a stand up comedian and live in an alley and eat garbage

DREAM TRIP: to the national gallery of Berlin to take a fuckin peep at Frank Wedekind's death mask

FAVOURITE FOOD: Altoids. Mints are food, right?

NATIONALITY: American

FAVOURITE SONG RIGHT NOW: Bitch of Living from Spring Awakening

And uhhh

First Time He Kissed A Boy by Katie Elder

I tag literally anyone who wants to it's 3am I'm fucking tired why am I still awake

[ackleholics]

bitch i demand you answer all 60.

u r a MENACE

1. selfie

alrdy done

2. what would you name your future kids?

lmao im never gonna have kids rip. but i do have two smol sons and they are magnus and alec

3. do you miss anyone?

yep :/

4. what are you looking forward to?

alrdy done

5. is there anyone who can always make you smile?

def. harry, matt, isaiah. Hamish and andy. my friends sometimes (not u nat ur a butthead)

6. is it hard for you to get over someone?

definitely. if i miss them i pretty much never get over it. if it’s someone im mad at that i normally forget em p quickly so LOL

7. what was your life like last year?

the same cept i was Less Woke™

8. have you ever cried because you were so annoyed?

no? that’s a thing?

9. who did you last see in person?

mum

10. are you good at hiding your feelings?

yep i sure damn hope so

11. are you listening to music right now?

nope. only rlly listen to it when im writing. otherwise it distracts me

12. what is something you want right now?

my pACKAGE TO QARRIVE ALREADY JFC

13. how do you feel right now?

Tired, Depressed™, chill, the usual

14. when was the last time someone of the opposite sex hugged you?

probs my cousin at my bday or smth i dunno

15. personality description

Depressed™

16. have you ever wanted to tell someone something but you didn’t?

im p blunt most of the time. things i keep secret r secrets ppl tell me to keep or if im crushing.

17. opinion on insecurities.

depends. im insecure about like, a few things, but a lot of things i’m just liek eh whatever about. like if ppl judge u for who u r then that’s they’re business and u can’t do anything about it so

18. do you miss how thing were a year ago?

nah

19. have you ever been to New York?

nope. would totes go to meet matt tho :P

20. what is your favourite song at the moment?

errrrrr. pink’s song maybe?

21. age and birthday?

19 and if u kno my bday u kno it good for u

22. description of crush.

don’t currently have one. my last one was… well, it didn’t work out ill just say that XD

23. fear(s)

im p scared of ppl u look up to turning out to be homophobes/assholes ngl

24. height

5″10′ish

25. role model

hmm. i don’t rlly think i have one specifically. for themes, Slut Jensen. for writing…. there are a  lot of fanfic writers i adore. for graphics, @galaxystiel @stardustsam @hallowedbecastiel etc etc.

26. idol(s)

is there a difference between this and role models? is it more like celebrities? i guess Tahmoh Penikett, Andy samberg, Misha Collins, Tyler Hoechlin, Dylan O'Brien, Lee Majdoub, Josh Hutcherson, Colin O'donoghue…. idk there’s a lot

27. things i hate

homophobes, acephobes, ppl who think asexuals shouldn’t be a part of the LGBTQIA+ community, general shitty ppl.

28. i’ll love you if…

u like shows i like. u have similar opinions or have ones that enhance/better my own. 

29. favourite film(s)

spirited away. eagle eye. thor ragnarok

30. favourite tv show(s)

supernatural shadowhunters b99 lucifer designated survivor DGHDA idk there’s a lot

31. 3 random facts

alrdy done

32. are your friends mainly girls or guys?

both. depends. on tumblr mainly girls cause i like, don’t know any guys. wait no i have 1 guy friend on tumblr. for gaming it’s guys and girls

33. something you want to learn

ASL or AUSLAN. Jscript/other codes. 

34. most embarrassing moment

GOD SO MANY.

35. favourite subject

does sleeping count?

36. 3 dreams you want to fulfill?

become a successful author, find someone that makes me happy and will be my life partner, meet matt/harry/isiah/jensen/jared/misha/TAHMOH etc etc

37. favourite actor/actress

tAHMOH FRIGGIN PENIKETT

38. favourite comedian(s)

hamish and andy. bo burnham. Conan obrien. 

39. favourite sport(s)

NONE LMAO. video gaming there

40. favourite memory

oooo this is a lot of pressure. um idk there’s a few. i can’t think of any super recent. i got to stare at tahmoh once from a distance and that was p awesome

41. relationship status

sadly, single

42. favourite book(s)

books? pfft. i only know fanfiction

43. favourite song ever

EVER? holy shit um. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FJfFZqTlWrQ

44. age you get mistaken for

i normally get mistaken for younger than older.

45. how you found out about your idol

tahmoh penikett, through supernatural, tho i saw him first on castle i think? or around the same time. and then i watched doll house for him

46. what my last text message says

im gonna make pozza first

47. turn ons

none lmfao????? i don’t like..... 0.o how does an ace answer this

but er if i had to give an answer i like ppls eyes. i appreciate honesty and genuity. i like when ppl are themselves.

48. turn offs

lying, cheating, homophobia, casual racism etc etc

49. where i want to be right now

a billionaire in some quiet suburb in a cozy apartment with ridiculously fast unlimited wifi.

50. favourite picture of your idol

51. starsign

aries yeh?

52. something i’m talented at

pfft im an untalented dirt bag. im moderately good at coding i guess

53. 5 things that make me happy

sleeping. writing. reading. TV (most of the time) and my friends (on occasion :P)

54. something thats worrying me at the moment

that im gonna be mailed anthrax

55. tumblr friends

The BatSquad ofc (also check my updates tab)

56. favourite food(s)

cHICKEN!!!!! PIZZA!!!! NACHOS!!!!! NANDOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

57. favourite animal(s)

owls, foxes, cats, dogs, tigers, lions, snakes, literally all of them p much

58. description of my best friend

i can’t pick just one fuck off. 

59. why i joined tumblr

for tyler hoechlin and teen wolf and sterek

60. ask me anything you want

Galaxystiel: hey im an asshole right? for making u do all of these questions in one go.

Me: Yep

*totally a conversation that happened*

these are actually nice you fucking nerd- ASK GAME

[octavia2016-2017]

thanks for the tag @huwull and @patrickvaughnstumph

Nicknames: Tavia, Tav, or whatever

Gender: Female

Star sign: Aries

Height: 4′ 9″ (I’m very short)

Time: time isn’t real so idk

Birthday: March 25th

Favorite band: I don’t really have a favorite but rn I’m enjoying ac/dc a lot.

Favorite solo artist: Kesha has been a favorite lately.

Song stuck in your head: Loca from Shakira ft. El Cata

Last movie: Raw. I think.

Last TV show: Supernatural

Why did you create your blog:  Idk.

What do you post/reblog: Depressing stuff and art i guess...

Last thing you googled: How do you say extraordinario in English?

Other blogs: im not telling

Why url: also a secret

I follow: 317

Followers: 90

Average hours sleep: i don’t sleep, i watch over you at night

Lucky number: 5

Instrument: im untalented

What are you wearing: a ‘Walker Stalker’ con t-shirt and leggings

Dream Job: maybe a graphic designer or comedian (but again im untalented)

Dream trip: Maybe Portugal?

Favorite food: TOMATO SOUPPPP

Favorite song rn: Perro Fiel from Shakira

Top three universes: ? Harry Potter, The Lunar Chronicles, and maybe any world but ours.

Last book I read: Every Last Word by Tamara Ireland Stone.  but like I LOVE BOOKS!  Eleanor and Park was so good.  I re read it and it was even better the second time.  Girl In Pieces is also an amazing piece of literature.  The Hate List is also on my favorites list.  I also love the Red Queen series.  They are so good.  If you are looking for a great series check out either The Lunar Chronicles from Marissa Meyer (she also has a few new books out) or the Red Queen series (which might adapted into a movie at some point) from Victoria Aveyard.  But can we talk about how beautiful Victoria is like if you have free time look her up and just stare at her face.  AND WAR STORM IS SUPPOSED TO BE COMING OUT IN 2018 and i cannot wait but i also dont want the series to end.  and im going to DIE!

anyways i tag @idolmaids

[resistbless]

tagged!

was tagged by @districtless​!! love u!!

Rules: answer 20 questions and ask 20 followers to do the same!

Name: lani!

Pets: a chocolate labrador named Daisy and a norwegian forest cat named Elska!

Orientation: bisexual

Fav scent: watermelon, vanilla and honey!

Fav movie: probably el dorado, thor ragnarok or spirited away!!! 

Things I hate: anything sticky, needles, sharp objects, racism, sexism, terfs, loud noises, flashing visuals, fujoshis, neon colours

Fav fandom: splatoon!!! it changes quick frequently tho-

Dream: i really want to be anything to do with art! graphic designer or comic artist are probably the ones im most hoping to become, but i’m not picky!

Tea or coffee?: coffee ahah i p much live off it

How old is your blog: i remade a bit ago so i’d say like ??? 6 months?

Fav band?: rn its definitley gorillaz!

Fav character: y’all really making me pick- rn its prolly damien from monster prom or max from paranatural

Last movie in theater you saw?: infinity war

Fav comedian: john mulaney 

Last movie you watched?: thor: ragnarok

Height: 5’3” 

A secret?: im a dumbass

Where you from?: australia!!

tagging: idk anyone who wants 2 AESRDTFGYU

[verydeepthots]

parental baby voice and dog people voice close but different “if you can get a girl with that voice hat tip” future sketch - she only knows cutesy love shes been single for so long she cant adapt to the game doesnt realise shes got single for too long voice not the im doin my thing voice squeezes dudes cheeks finger points tummy pulls faces mid convo “and whats your name” “awww look whos been a doctor for 10 years”  “can you count to 10” “wellll done” “somebodys a big boy” “waaahhhh”

did marilyn manson ever squash that wonder years rumour

pinball machine mural bball court

podcasts is just young people doing old people stuff like am radio or special interest shows on abc

“deathstar” “d-rock” speaking to the market

sarah connor has the nimbin hair

life quotes are becoming funny i could be approaching comedian hanging with strangers for fun levels

#metwo

he forgot to zoom out on life not the pixel

legend in two games like whats her name in your phone whooooaaaaa

beautiful altruistic sensual handpainting ads for your masseuse

my left shoulder hasnt been the same since i tried out for the red sox view of the world

3rd day recovery after getting sunburnt coz your wife dragged you out view of the world

bill burr could save the cabbies comedian uber driver surprise stunts the driver turns over the shoulder to look back at passenger nuance social media frenzy “just in the car with _______” “my uber driver be _______”

sorry i couldnt tell ya the exact shade of blue the sky is said the designer

“whos that guy that likes to rollerblade he went bald” - bill burr

does bill burr have the temper to hit his wife? close fist or open hand?

new york is the internet

reoccurring jokes

funny in life x angst in life

accidental fish lens 

"those grainy pics are still out there”

“i never f*cked with the gum soles”

gum soles remind you of real sloppy braces and an underbite

dev-y screens are always starky bright with that drab blue gradient

brooches show your age

growth is a grainy sextape

bitch shoulda cropped out dem sandals

i wonder if coke has hit the big shots in silicon valley

i think some comedians have outer body experiences theyre indirectly looking at themselves looking at the world and alotta them been through some shit its the cliche cant take yourself too seriously they got humbled earlier in life they got more to pull from 

“she walked home like a raptor”

pay some upcoming comics for market situational analysis 

get a magazine cover artist or poster artist to do your album cover 

theres this delirious but im aware of it troll level 

radio spelling

children of the corny

“trumps red tie and red hat is clever”

tbwa footloose happy socks made the budget

demo graphics

lorne michaels is going to retire into a saxophone i reckon he would get that

first names are crucial too

“social <br> class is like speed dating”

wet bathrooms are half baked ideas

celebrities and their residue on society

crushed souls of the arts ®

do directors and writers stay in work mode for their instagrams

ben folds paper cranes 

ads can be feedback for your show  ads can force families to talk