#im just upset and wanna rant >:C

[parab0mb]

Just found out that EA rejected the proposed 3rd Mcgee's Alice game, which at this point isn't surprising but still disappointing since I really liked the franchise (call it a comfort series/guilty pleasure/nostalgic, etc.), not to mention the creator seemed genuinely passionate about telling this story about a character that was near and dear to him despite the franchise never being a money-printing powerhouse.

Like, I know I'm not saying anything profound here, but it just reminds how wretched it is that it's still considered the norm for artist/writers/etc. to have to literally sell away the rights to their own stories, a part of them that they've poured their soul and experiences into, to a publisher (that has no passion for the project beyond the monetary returns) just for the POSSIBILITY that the story will maaaaybe reach it's intended audience and have the original vision/message be left intact.

As if it isn't bad enough that an IP that does end up succeeding will most likely be bastardized and milked to creative bankruptcy even after the creator dies, the alternative is that if the IP isn't "marketable" enough the publisher just holds the IP hostage from it's own creator (usually having no intent of doing anything with it).

Like, especially as of late it seems like publishers/studios are all too eager to do the latter, and it deserves to be straight-up illegal.

[mimasroom2]

Bunny baby ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ♡

Ellie x reader w ptsd

𓂋

ʚ♡ɞ

I was inspired by @elliezlils11utt fic of Ellie x hypersexual reader and it reminded me I’ve always wanted to write some Ellie hcs that can help my ptsd :)

This is specifically with Jackson!ellie bc she’s my favorite :3

C/w: ptsd obviously. A bit of smut. Mostly fluff tho :3. Flashbacks. Intrusive memories. Triggers. MDNI 😒

W/c: ≈ 800

~

- It depends on how you guys met + how your relationship started,, but you’d definitely be super shy ab your trauma & ptsd and would avoid telling her as long as you can.

- When you finally tell her she’d be soooo sweet☹️. She’d sit you guys down on the couch and sit across from you criss cross applesauce style

- You wipe your tears away and laugh a little at how cute she is. Like why’d she have to go and sit like that ?!!

- You don’t feel nervous with her per se,,, but you feel kinda weird uncanny and naked (in a gross way) talking ab this, so most of the time when ur ranting you’ll focus on her eyebrow scar.

- You talk for as long as you want to and Ellie listens and nods and holds ur hand if u start crying ☹️☹️

- Surprisingly she doesn’t say anything like “whoever did this to you is gonna fuckin’ pay ‘mkay??” Because yknow….. she’s Ellie. She doesn’t want to rile you or herself up and make you uncomfortable >•<

- When you’re done explaining she’s gonna hug you and ask to kiss you. She’ll reassure you and say “Thank you for telling me baby. Now that I know I can try to help you in any way I can,, and I’ll stick by your side no matter what.” She giggles as she pulls you in closer :))))

- She’ll try to understand your triggers but sometimes it’s really hard for her to. “Fuck I’m so sorry princess.. was it what I said or like.. the way I said it?”

- The truth is she LOVESSS cuddling and if you’re ever upset she knows it’ll for sure calm you down.

- Even if ur trauma isn’t related to sex she’d still be careful and sweet with you. Like,,, you’d have to BEG her to degrade you.

- “Els please… I know what im asking for I literally think it’s so hot when you do it🙁”

- “Angel idk if it’s really a good idea bc you had all those intrusive memories today..”

- “Ellie if you don’t degrade me I literally don’t think I will cum.”

- And then she perks up and yelps “ON IT!” 😭😭😭

- During the middle of it she’d literally stop and ruin it😭 “Yeah? You fuckin’ like these fingers huh babe? God such a fuckin’ slut for me..” she whispers in your ear”… heyyy is this like… still okay or? I dunno just seemed weird.” As you were like MOANING AND WHIMPERING

- You playfully smack her face “YES ELLIE please just- you don’t have to hold back!”

- Aftercare would be hugeeee for the both of you. Just in general Ellie really needs it but especially for you.

- “Jus’ don’t wanna hurt my princess after I’m done fucking your cute pussy” she looks down at you and you squeal for her to stop and cover your face with your hands.

- She laughs and rubs your back and starts talking casually about what her plans are for tomorrow.

- Sometimes you feel guilty that you’re taking up most of the attention in the relationship bc of your ptsd but she immediately interrupts your rambling and reassures you ♡

- If you have nightmares she’d wake you up and cuddle + distract you until you were tired enough to fall asleep again.

- Maybe if you were in the mood she’d distract you by eating you out 🤭

- If you ever felt uncomfortable or had a panic attack or flashback in public she’d take you home immediately even if it was inconvenient.

- “No babe.. what the fuck no.. it was not your fault okay. Getting scared is never your fault.” She tilts your chin up (,,•o•,,) “Let’s just try to calm down, yeah? That’s my girl.”

- Ellie hears ab service animals for ptsd and since Jackson really only has horses she managed to find you a BUNNY

- “Ellie how the fuck WHERE THE FUCK DID YOU FIND THIS BUNNY?!!,??.!.”

- “Don’t be scared babbbbbeeee I just got it somewhere okay?” She smiles all mischievous and lifts the brown bunny up. Its nose twitches.

- “Who’d you have to trade? WHAT did you trade actually??” Your eyes grow wide.

- “Jus’ got it from Tommy baby,,, no big deal.” She sits down on her knees to put it in the cage she got. “Found this cage jus’ lyin’ there. Asked around and nobody needed it.”

- After a few hours of playing with your new bunny you kiss her cheek in bed and whisper “Really, Els. Where’d the damn bunny come from.”

- “Really I already told you! Got it from Tommy… I was uh.. askin’ about like what he thought would be good for ptsd and he told me about a time where people would have dogs and other animals trained to help people. I dunno I thought it was cool.” She smiles sheepishly.

- You think that is the sweetest thing EVER because you thought she just finally wanted a pet for the two of you (❀❛ ֊ ❛„)♡

~

I’m actually gonna melt why do ppl never write sweet Ellie 😞💘

[the-record]

when emma falls in love

synopsis: ellie might be in love with you, and you might just be in love with her too… if only you could admit it

pairing: college!ellie x fem!reader

warnings: too many tlou references, food, not proofread!!!!! also using angel in place of y/n bc it makes me cringe a little!

a/n: lets play a game called “how many references can kate make in her fics?”

‘IM JUST PRETTY GREAT WITH MY FINGERS’

when emma falls in love, she paces the floor closes the blinds and locks the door when emma falls in love, she calls up her mom jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong

ellie couldn’t keep up.

she felt like every time dina came over, there was someone new in your life, and she couldn’t understand how. you were perfectly nice and even prettier.

but here she was, yet again in her dorm, listening to dina rant about the latest endeavor.

“and he was just a total dick! like, how are you going to say you’re busy tonight with family and then go to a party? like are you stupid?” dina sighed. “i love her, but god does she picks some idiotic ones. you remember the beach girl?”

oh she remembered the beach girl.

on an annual beach trip over spring break, some blonde had caught your eye, and you caught hers. you had invited her to join them for dinner, and how could anyone say no to you?

you hit it off with the blonde, abby, and she spent the next couple days with the group, constantly flirting with you. ellie had felt a sort of dread fill her stomach. why her? she was obviously playing in to what you wanted and she knew you were smart enough to see that.

the trip wrapped up and you made plans with abby, excited she only live a town over. but when the time came, you spent 3 hours at the park waiting for her, only to receive a text saying she wouldn’t be able to make it.

you were upset and crashed at dina’s, and ellie had heard about it all the night.

“yes, god, i remember her. what a douche.” she rolled her eyes, standing up to grab her bag for class. “i’ve gotta go, but are we all still going out tonight?” dina nodded with a smile. “cool. don’t do anything stupid. and lock my door before you leave, please.”

“says you. and i’ll think about it!”

shes walking out the door when she hits something, or someone.

“shit.”

“fuck, sorry my bad.”

when she focuses back, she sees you. “hey, what are you doing here?”

“oh, dina told me to come over. are you going?” you leaned in the doorway. “dina, come on, stop invading people’s space. lets go!”

she groaned, “but ellie said we could smoke here!” she got up nonetheless, heading to join you. “thanks anyways els, have fun in class!”

“bye ellie!”

she sighs as she watches you two walk away. why does air fill her head whenever shes around you?

she waits and takes her time ‘cause little miss sunshine always thinks its gonna rain when emma falls in love, i know that boy will never be the same

“so, angel, how’s it going with you and that girl?” jesse felt a kick at his leg and turned to dina. “what? am i not allowed to ask questions?”

“no, no, it’s fine. we didnt work out, but thats okay!” you smiled brightly at the table. “i think im gonna take a break anyways. im kinda sick of it.”

they all shared a knowing look. “hey, no! i promise, this is for real.”

“hun, its not that we don’t believe you.” ellie started. “iits just that… we dont believe you!” you groaned and stole a fry from her plate. “look, we’ve just heard that a lot, and we dont wanna see you get hurt.”

“but im not going to! because im taking a break.” you kicked ellie. “you dont have to believe me, but can you at least pretend to?” they gave in and cheered for you. “thanks, now who wants to share a brownie?”

“okay, so its c minor sharp, f sharp, b, e, repeat?” you and ellie sat on the dorm room floor, her guitars in both of your laps.

“yea exactly, just on the third repeat, its a g sharp minor instead of a b.” you nodded at her and plucked the chord. “exactly. and i pluck for it so just… just watch?”

she played the song slowly, speaking her pattern as she went along. you nodded at her when she finished, figuring you knew it well enough. “okay, play it together?”

“yep!”

she counted down before starting, making you smile.

“talking away, i dont know what im to say. ill say it anyway, todays another day to find you shying away. ill be coming for your love, okay.” you hummed a harmony as ellie sang the words.

“are you sure you don’t usually play? youre a total natural at this.” ellie marveled as you let the last chord hum out.

“i guess im just pretty good with my fingers.” you felt your cheeks blaze as you heard back what you said.

dina chuckled, “damn right!” she stood up, going for the door. “gonna grab a bottle of water. play more for us beautiful ladies!”

ellie taught you the rest of the song, both of you more awkward than usual. you really came along it so fast, ellie was amazed.

“okay, seriously, you have to be messing with me because you are way to good at this.”

“i promise! i only took piano lessons.”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

ellie had a thought that she might be, maybe, just could be a little in love with you.

she couldnt be though. right?

sure, she knew all of your favorite foods, and knew the words to your favorite song, knew your favorite books like the back of her hand, could tell anyone how you took your coffee.

but that was friendly. you guys were friendly. friends.

she guessed you guys hung out a lot, but thats because they always hung out as a group. she might’ve gotten excited when you joined, but that doesnt mean anything.

and of course she had noticed you were pretty. gorgeous, even. but so had everyone else. its not like she had purposefully memorized your features. every line and mark.

she could draw jesse from memory perfectly, its not like she liked him.

it was normal.

totally normal.

fuck.

“where’s angel?” ellie asked, looking to dina.

“not coming.” she sighed, digging around her purse for a pack of gum. “said she was busy, but she wouldn’t say why.”

“i think we all know why,” jesse teased. they all gave him a look, but he leveled them with one of his own. “im not insulting her. its just that, this isn’t exactly out of her nature. i mean seriously, who actually took her promise seriously?”

ellie excused herself to the bathroom, dialing you before she even reached the door.

“hello?”

“hey, where are you?” she picked at the already chipping nail polish she had on.

“uhm, im out.” you sighed. “look, im kind of busy. did you need somet-“

she had to cut to the chase. “are you on a date?”

“excuse me?”

“are you on a date?”

“thats none of your business.”

“oh fuck off, you know it very much is. so. are you?”

“fine, yea i am. now can i get back to it?”

“we are talking later.”

she joined the group back at their table, but couldnt focus back in on the conversation.

“you okay, ellie?” she looked up at dina, nodding with a hum.

“yea, sorry, got lost for a second.”

when emma falls apart, its when shes alone she takes on the pain and bears it on her own ‘cause when emma falls in love, she’s in it for keeps she wont walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

she didnt even bother to knock, just walked straight through your dorm room door.

“ellie, what the hell?” you were in bed, a book in hand and music playing from a speaker. “what happened to knocking?”

ellie b-lined for your bed, taking a seat at the foot of it. “why were you on a date?”

“dude, seriously, what if i was naked? so not okay!” you placed a bookmark on your page and set the book to the side.

“okay, fine im sorry!” she groaned and found your eyes. “now why were you on a date? what happened to taking a break?”

“what do you want me to say, els?” you exhaled and looked down at your hands. “that i cant keep anything? that i cant keep promises or partners?” ellie felt bad as she saw your eyes were glossy and the frown on your face. “im sorry im such a screwup and that i cant do anything right. anything else?”

ellie ran her fingers through her hair. “im sorry.” she crossed her legs on your bed and looked at you. “really im sorry, this was so uncalled for. youre right, its not my business. im really sorry. i just wan-“

she froze.

surely you couldnt be kissing her right now.

before she could even think to reciprocate, you pulled away, a deer in headlights look on your face.

“im so sorry.” you whispered moving away from her. “god, im so so sorry. you should go. im sorry.” she opened her mouth to try and say anything, but you beat her to it. “ellie, please, just go.”

she saw the tears well and felt compelled to stay. but her body went against her, forcing her feet to walk out the door to her own room.

e: you cant ignore me forever. read

e: please angel, just talk to me. read

e: you kissed me, not the other way around. stop making this my fault. read

e: millers, noon? just coffee, i promise. read

a: im sorry.

ellie tossed her phone at her bed.

“whats up with you?” dina probed. “youve been… peeved this week. whats up?”

“who the hell says peeved?” she tried to joke but was met with dinas serious face. “im fine! seriously!” god that face made her break. “okay fine, just… dont tell anyone.”

dina nodded excitedly and sat down infront of her.

“angel kissed me, and then she freaked out and made me leave, and now she wont even talk to me!” ellie fell back onto her bed.

“SHE KISSED YOU?” dina squealed. “OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME SOONER!”

“did you hear nothing else that i said?”

and shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

e: please, im begging you, just talk to me. read

a: what do you want me to say ellie?

e: literally anything. read

a: i messed up els, okay?

a: i shouldn’t have kissed you. im sorry.

e: but you should have. and you did. read

a: what?

e: meet me at millers? read

a: ellie…

e: please. read

a: omw.

e: thank you omg. read

a coffee was waiting on the table for you when you arrived. you sat across from ellie, hesitantly taking the drink. “you wanted to talk.” you talk a sip, finding it tasted like your usual order. “so talk.”

“okay look… i’m just as confused and nervous as you are.” she laughed nervously and fiddled with her own cup. “but, im glad you kissed me.”

“what?”

“yea i know.” she took a deep breath before continuing. “i only recently, like very recently, realized my feelings were misplaced. i really dont wanna be friends.”

you groaned, “and you couldnt have just texted me that?”

“fucks sake, just let me finish!” she pleaded, picking back up when you sat back into your chair. “i like you. like, a crazy lot, and it freaks me out. so please, let me at least take you on one date. if not, its fine, we just cant be friends. i wouldnt be able to stand it.”

you chewed at a nail as you took in what she had said.

“say something.”

a beat of silence before.

“okay.”

“okay?” she whispered.

“yea, okay. you can take me on a date.”

well, shes so new york when shes in l.a. she wont lose herself in love the way that i did ‘cause she’ll call you out she’ll put you in your place when emma falls in love, im learning

“hey, hurry up, im waiting downstairs for you.”

ellies voice rang through your room as you placed her on speaker.

“nuh uh, im not done. you asked me out, now deal with the consequences. ill be down when im ready.” you pulled out your outfit, throwing it on as you spoke. “just scroll on insta or something if you’re that bored.”

“fine.”

she hung up and you couldn’t help but laugh. you had been so nervous in the days leading up to this, but suddenly felt much better as she yelled at you like normal.

you finally met her at her car, hopping in the passenger seat and connecting your phone.

“the hell are you doing?” ellie squealed.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “passengers princess gets aux. suck it up loser.” you queued up songs as she pulled out and onto the main road. “where are we going anyways?”

“you’ll see.”

“god you are so annoying.”

and yet you smiled at her.

“an arcade? really?” you looked at her with eyebrows raised.

she shrugged and unbuckled, opening her door to get out. you shook your head, shocked still you were on a date with ellie williams. at the arcade.

she pulled you through the maze of a place to some own machine. “mortal kombat? what even is this?”

she smiled so bright, you couldnt help but smile back. “just wait, its so fun.”

emma met a boy with eyes like a man turns out her heart fits in the palm of his hand now he’ll be her shelter when it rains little does he know, his whole world’s about to change

“it was totally fun right? c’mon, you can admit it!” she pushed your shoulder, seeing your smiling face.

“okay yes, fine it was fun, i had fun!” you laughed, staring at her face. “i never really noticed you had this many freckles.”

you traced a finger across her cheeks. down the slope of her nose. across her eyebrow, stopping to poke the scar running through the left one.

“you’re pretty.” you whispered.

she blushed. “i think you’re gorgeous.” she whispered back.

her eyes were so pretty.

“can i kiss you?”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

“please.”

yeah, between me and you sometimes i wish i was her

[positiveglitchexists]

Please rant about more stuff! I absolutely love listening to what different people's headcanons and stuff are!! /gen /pos (only if you want to tho-)

I- D-Did you just ask me to rant about more stuff? About my hcs??? What jewel would you like on your wedding ring?/p /j now once again here's a mix of some tickle and non tickle stuff!!! Sorry this took awhile to respond too but I kept adding onto it so- Also warning- Like one swear-

--------------------------------------------------

- C!Tommy gets frequent stomach aches. It isn't anything bad since nothing else happens during them just an upset tummy! But during these stomach aches Tommy likes to lay down with his friends, preferably outside! The grass feels nice to him. Ranboo and Tubbo do it the most often and Wilbur sometimes does it but Tommy gets a bit embarassed asking him too so Wilbur's learned the signs of when Tommy's not feeling well. "Why don't we lay down toms hm?"

- When cc!Tubbo gets headaches, More Often then not Tommy will use one of those weird massage things that go on your head on Tubbo, but it always ends up tickling him. "Wahahit TOHOHMMMY- NOHOHO-"

- Between me and you Tubbo is a squealer, he won't ever admit it but if you tickle him when he's not focused he squeals- Its actually adorable

- C!Tubbo makes sound effects while eating- He literally does "num num num". He never noticed it but he says it helps him eat faster (C!Tommy tried it once because he was very curious. He was very embarrassed when Ranboo walked in on him)

Favorite hc - Tubbo loves giving nibbles, it's not even cause it's a good technique he just likes the idea of being able to bite people and get away with it. When he first told Tommy that, Tommy looked at him with his mouth open before- "What the fuck?"

- I talked about the tickle fight between cc!Tubbo and c!Tubbo but what about Tommy and Ranboo? Well between cc!Ranboo and c!Ranboo they would probably stop halfway to go tickle cc!Tubbo but without that cc!Ranboo would win!... Nah I'm kidding c!Ranboo would, have you seen his tail???? Cc!Ranboo would crumble.

- Now between the Tommy's? I don't actually know.. I think it depends on whoever figures out faster they have the same tickle spots because one of the Tommy's will figure it out and go for the others sides then the other will crumble-

- you wanna know a technique that kills Tubbo? Of course you do- Surprisingly c!Tubbo is weak against baby talk, it literally kills him. c!Tommy was the one to find this out and he makes sure to do it whenever Tubbo's being annoying- "Awww Tubbo arwen't you twhe cutest!!" Or he uses the voice- you know like the one where he first found shroud?? But more menacing- Tubbo will have all the fight melt out of him when someone does that

- The Bench trio are all provoking little crapheads but all of that drains when around Wilbur- they know he won't hesitate to tickle them anywhere, anytime. He does it on vlogs, on lives, during serious lore- Actually scratch that. Everyone knows not to try and provoke Wilbur because if he finds out you are, he will tickle you to pieces.

- this man knows ALL the techniques. Raspberries, Nibbles, Tracing. You name it he knows it! He doesn't have a favorite technique but does have favorite teases. Tickle monster teases are his favorite- "You better keep running~ or else the big bad tickle monster might catch up to youuu~!!"

- Ranboo says L alot while tickling- "Not here? Why? Is it because of this spot? The spot that my skittering fingers are going near? Ohh.. Okay I guess I'll move over here- just kidding im going for your melt spot- L"

[midnighteloquence]

ohhhh i know now

yo so i need one more code name letter

uh E: person i stopped being friends with for a multitude of reasons who i still dont like to this day buttt

so i stopped being friends with her like early this year right? and confronted her about all the horrible shit she did because honestly they did alot of horrible shit anyways uh so idk but C said that they did a lot of things that im not sure they did (like “copy their stim” or “touch their thigh”) which okay idk whether or not to believe you

anyways so i absolutely hated when E liked the same things as me which understandable because i dont wanna share my special interests with a person i dont like but recently ive started to just not care as much?? like fhey posted about her watching hamilton and i just dismissed it. i couldnt feel angry at it or anything lmfao. i felt more chill towards him yk yk

and i mean i still dislike him and dont wanna be friends i just seem less petty and angry towards the situation as a whole. like tbh i have better things to do than be upset at a person just because they like undertale. ive even shared some of my interests with her (thermmmmmmmmmmmmmm) because i want to. ive shown my drawings to her because i wanted to show them cool stuff

and dont get me wrong i still dislike them and still think theyre not a good person but im just more chill about it yk? i dont absolutely despise them i just dislike them. like i wouldnt wish death upon him obviously im not a monster i just. yk? neutral towards them.

very short rant sorry anyways whdhfu bdiuruwhrhfh bye

[miniturefawn]

Can my partner's narcissistic mother stop fucking stalking us. I guess someone at my partner's work is secretly friends with her and told her where we were going because they made casual conversation.....this happened last time but ffs like my partner changed hospitals and stuff. How many friends does this batshit woman have who work in hospitals?

It looks like she is no where near where we are staying in one of the states and I don't think they gave any time specific dates for when we will be in the state, so hopefully we are okay. You'd think going no contact for almost 3 years would be enough but Jesus fuck I guess not.

Yes my partner was born in a male body, but that does not mean he is a fill in for your husband 🤢 I did not take "him" from you 🤮 let us live our lives.

[spaciebabie]

PLEASE tell me about your oc lore that comic was SO INTERESTING I'm on my hands and knees begging for more pls

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK I LOVE TALKING ABT MY OCS SM

I HADTA GET MY NOTES OUT FOR THIS ONE!

RANT UNDER READ MORE CUZ IT CONTAINS SPOILERS (EVEN THO IM PURPOSFULLY VAGUE) AND ITS ALSO A LOT

my GOD katherine quin- MY TRAGIC PROTAGONIST BABY WHO FEELS LIKE SHE ALWAYS HAS TA DO SOMTHIN ABT THE SITUATION EVEN THO SHE'S JUST A KID

i LOVE slow burns so everything in the story takes a moment ta kick off. you have katherine, "curiosity killed the kat" quin n her perfect parents, perfect friends n perfect life. everything is good. she's a kookie middleschooler abt ta go ta highschool, she's president of the history club, she's designated as the LEADER of the rexica manor field trip b/c of how dedicated she is ta learning abt their history.

she goes on the trip! it goes great, stupendous even! she comes home!! her parents are unreasonably upset for no reason b/c of a specifc thing that happens that i dont wanna spoil EERURUERUGUEGUEUGR

and she ends up learning a horrible truth. she's like, "i feel like we should do something now, with this thing i aquired maybe i can do something." n ppl keep telling her ta, "leave it ta the adults" "what are you even going ta do?", "everything is already in motion you just hafta wait till it all falls inta place" but-

FROM HER POV THE ADULTS HAVE BEEN STAGNANT, AWARE OF THE PROBLEM FOR 20+ YEARS N HAVENT BEEN DOING ANYTHING (spoilers? this is the incorrect mindset)

so she goes n does something STUPID. she directly puts herself in harms way, she puts herself in the forefront of the action b/c she thinks she can do somthing and the adults are forced ta acknowledge her b/c of this. they're forced ta include her even though they dont want to. again another child has decided that they want ta b involved in an ADULT MATTER and the only way they can make sure she n the other dumb kids stay alive is ta involve them so that they can watch over them.

time passes, a new character joins the fray. a deranged lunatic who will stop at nothing ta get what they want. they fucking flip the WHOLE WELL PLANNED OUT OPERATION THAT HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS FOR 20+ YEARS ON ITS HEAD AND KAT TURNS INTA A DIRECT TARGET.

people are hunting her. they want her dead. the police are aligned w/a new corrupt government that are after the thing she has designated herself ta protect (notice how i said, "herself" THE ADULTS DO NOT WANT HER TA PROTECT THIS THING) she's a fugative. she's an outlaw. she's protecting something the public percieves as dangerous, but she knows its not. her parents cant help her, n while she does have adults there ta aid her its obvi not the same. she misses her parents so much, she's stressed trying not ta get caught n die, having ta move from place ta place b/c of the threat of being recognized n the constant raids on the places she's at. i think that her birthday falls w/in this timeframe so like,,,,imagine trying ta celebrate your sweet 16 when your government is actively out hunting you.

AWFUL ANGSTY JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT

I HAVE HAD THIS WHOLE STORY PLANNED OUT SINCE I WAS 14 OH MY GOD I FUCKING LOVE THIS ARC!! ITS THE ANGSTIEST ARC OF THEM ALL AND AFTERWARDS THE CHARACTERS HAFTA SPEND THE NEXT ARC HEALING FROM THIS HORRIBLE THING WHILE DANGER STILL LOOMS IN THE DISTANCE.

THEY'RE IRREPERABLY SCARRED. PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, KAT IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SUFFERS FROM THIS!

and the best part of it is that some of it is her fault

[primalsouls]

white rabbit pt 4

langa hasegawa x gn! reader (pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3)

anon: will white rabbit have a part 4? ( if yes pls pls give them a happy ending hehe ) but its oki if you dont want to, no pressure! i just really enjoyed it and i love ur writing btw :)

⚠️ : im terrible at picking up what's a trigger, so let me know is there's anything uncomfortable!

theme: general

note: ooh my heart 💔 rip white rabbit 🐇🙏🕊 anyway, here's pt 4! :> i hope you like it and enjoy it! and thank you for reading! let me know what you think. :) i really like this chapter the most lol

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

"Leave... Wonderland?"

"Forever?"

Reki and Langa stared at Adam with frowns on their face. Eyes widen at the words. Whispers surrounded them quick, destroying the small silence that gave the words to settle in for everyone. Blue eyes looked back at the [h/c]-haired skater. Their head still hanged low but he could see the sheer rage their fists held.

"He's saying that... [Y/N] [L/N], the White Rabbit, is leaving S." Miya repeated.

"Forever. Meaning.... They're kicked out." Shadow sighed, shaking his head.

Hearing those words, [Y/N] gritted their teeth and unclenched their fists. They looked up at Adam, a pleading expression on their face as they pulled their hoodie back.

"P-please... I don't wanna leave." They said, voice cracked in the beginning. Langa's heart broke at the sight. But before he could do anything, Adam walked up to them. "I'll do anything, please. Let me stay!" They continued but they flinched when their board was taken away from them harshly by Adam.

"A bet is a bet. Besides, it's about time S gets rid of its pests." Adam grinned. He snapped his finger, a couple of men bringing in a can of gasoline and a box of matches. Their eyes widen. Langa and the rest of his friends stood frozen, unable to believe the scene before them. Silence took over the crowd. [Y/N] knew they couldn't do anything to stop Adam from destroying their skateboard. "You should have won and this wouldn't happen. Remember, it's your fault." He said quietly. And with sheer power, he lifted the board and broke it in half with his knee. [Y/N] stared at him with wide eyes and mouth gaped slightly in shock. Tears pooled up and streamed down their cheeks one by one, one after the other.

"N-no... please, don't..." They whispered, a hand reaching out weakly but it didn't move much. [Y/N] was too shock to move any more than an inch.

Adam threw the broken board on the ground. He was handed the gasoline and the box of matches. He poured the liquid over the pieces, his masked eyes never leaving his younger sibling's face. Their look of terror filled him with chills. He loved it. Such as he loved the finish touch to the punishment. With elegance, Adam pulled out a match and stroke it on the igniter side of the box. Fire bursts on the matchstick. Adam flicked it onto the broken board like it was nothing and within seconds, flames burst to life, consuming the skateboard.

Langa watched with horror. [Y/N] didn't deserve that. They didn't deserve to leave. A bet wasn't even established. So, why? Why was this happening? His eyes went up to [Y/N].

"White Rabbit-"

"They're no longer go by that title." Adam interrupted coldly. "By losing this beef, no only are they banned from S, their title is no longer theirs to claim. White Rabbit is dead." Langa's eyes widen as his frown deepened. He couldn't believe it. This was not supposed to happen. Not supposed to lead to this results. No one supposed to be kick out or strip from their title. Adam reached a hand out. Langa saw how tensed [Y/N] got as the hand grew closer to them. The gloved fingers gently held into the S pin. It was on their collar of their hoodie but the next second, it wad ripped off from them. He threw it into the flames.

"I... I'm sorry..." [Y/N] apologized. Langa didn't understand. There was nothing to apologize for. Was it for Adam? For losing the race and everything they built for themselves? [Y/N] kept staring at the board, not noticing Adam turned his back on them. But his last words lef them in breaking in pieces.

"And don't bother coming home. A wild animal like you don't belong there. Never had and never will." As his final saying, Adam picked up his board and walked away but stopped to face Langa with a smirk. "Oh, and once again, my dear SNOW, congratulations." Langa blinked, watching Adam disappeared from everyone's sight.

"Damn..." Shadow muttered.

"Vanished from S... what a turn of events." Miya commented quietly.

Reki frowned at Adam's disappearing figure before he turned to Langa and [Y/N]. Everyone else slowly departed. Reki walked up to the two skaters, the broken board still caught in flames. Tears continued to spill from their eyes, Reki saw. Before the two could say any sort of comfort words to them, [Y/N] turned away from them and ran, ran as fast as they could. Away. They needed to get away and breathe. They couldn't breathe properly. Their chest was killing them. Sobs caught in their throat when they tried to cry. It hurts them. Their heart hurts. Everything was always their fault. They deserved. They believed they deserved it. They weren't a Shindo. They were a pest in the family. That was why Adam-no-Ainosuke told them not to come home. He was kicking them out. He was probably make up a lie to their aunts to make it seem it was their decision. For the better of the Shindo Family, they would say.

Life truly wasn't fair.

"C'mon, let's go!" Langa said, getting ready to chase after them but Reki grabbed his arm, pulling him back. He winced, the grip on his arm reminded him of the injuries he received during the race. "Wha- what? We have to go after them, Reki." He said, pointing towards [Y/N] running off.

"But you'll hurt even more with injuries like this. Besides, it's not our business. What happened with them was between them and Adam." Reki said. Miya nodded as he walked up to them.

"He's right, Langa. We should stay out of it. They're no longer of importance." Miya added in, crossing his arms over his chest. Langa frowned at the two boys.

"It's probably not the best time to even go after them. It's best that we mind our own business for now." Shadow advised, the other two boys giving affirmative responses. Langa tried to come up with reasons to go after them, but Reki shook his head and led Langa awau from the factory, pointing out the cuts once again. That was the last time Langa saw [Y/N].

The past couple of weeks, they were no were in sight. No familiar white hoodie resembling a white rabbit was found around S. No one spoke about them. It was like they never existed in the first place. As if S never heard of a skater called White Rabbit. Langa tried to find ways to get into contact with them but whenever he mentioned them, he was ignored, shut down, avoided. He was worried for them, for their safety. If Adam truly meant his words, then where would [Y/N] be? Langa wanted to make sure they were okay. That was all he wanted to know.

"[Y/N]... where are you?" Langa muttered as he walked through the park. He was planning to meet Reki at their usual hangout. Although, he wanted to clear his mind out of [Y/N] and the events that occurred. It wasn't their fault. It was his. If he never beef against them, Langa would had still see them every night at S, even from a fair distance to admire them. They would still be in his life, somehow.

"Ah, sorry..." A tired voice said. Langa looked down, not realizing he bumped into someone. He did felt something hit him as he walked, but he didn't pay too much attention. Langa opened his mouth to apologize instead but words were caught in his throat. His eyes widen. He couldn't believe it. The board in his hand dropped to the ground beside him, both hands reaching up a bit.

"It's you..." Langa whispered. Confusion replaced the apologic gaze on their face. "White Rabbit." When the title left his lips, it was their turn for their eyes to grew wide. Langa smiled brightly. "It's you, White Rabbit. [Y/N]." Langa was happy. He found his white rabbit once more. But no more words left Langa's lips as a hand slapped his cheek. It took him a second to register the outcome. A shaky hand of his reached to touch the burning cheek. He flinched when his fingers came into contact. "Wh-what?" A handprint appeared as a light red shade on his cheek. His eyes focused on them. They didn't wore their signature hoodie. Only a black one with dark blue jeans and white Vans shoes. Their eyes were still the same crimson color but filled with anger. And sadness? Langa parted his lips, unable to say anything.

"Don't call me that name. Because of you, I'm no longer.... that..." [Y/N] spat out, glaring dangerously at Langa. "You took everything away from me. You ruined my life!" They yelled, all the feelings they tried to bottle in exploded. Langa watched with a shook expression as they ranted off on him. He may be dense to others' emotions but he could pick up the hurt in [Y/N]'s voice. The way they trembled with rage. He didn't like that. Langa didn't like seeing them upset. Especially when hd was the one who caused it.

"I'm sorry."

[Y/N] paused, staring at Langa with wide eyes. Their frown grew deeper as they tried to find any sort of pity or joke in his baby blue eyes. In which they felt like they were looking at the ocean. So blue. Like the sky. [Y/N] shook their head rapidly, gritting their teeth.

"Oh, shut up. I don't need your pity. And I doubt you're sorry! Because of you, not only was I kicked out of S, I was kicked out of my home... Not like it ever felt like home anyway..." They said, mumbling the last words but Langa caught them.

"Wait? Home... Where were you staying at?" Langa asked, voice filled with concern. [Y/N] scrunched their nose, eyes narrowed. "I swear, I'm not pitying you. I'm actually... worried. I've been worried for a long time now. Ever since you left S." Langa said, looking away from them, sudden feeling timid for no particular reason. They raised a brow, watching Langa's movements to fact-check his worries. There was no hint of him lying. But they still kept their guard up. "I even asked around back in S for the past few weeks. Not one single person said anything...It's like you-"

"-never existed." They continued for him softly, eyes casted down to the ground. Their features relaxed but Langa noted the sadness stayed. No anger in sight. They sighed tiredly, running a hand through their hair. "Doesn't matter... Just stop it." [Y/N] crossed their arns over their chest, raising a brow. "Beside, the hell you kept asking about me? Aren't you happy I've been kicked?"

Langa shook his head right away once the question next their lips.

"No. I'm not happy. In fact, I..." Langa took a deep breath, trying to think on his words before they left his mouth. "I'm not enjoying myself." He mumbled, making [Y/N] take a step closer to hear him properly. They tilted their head, lips tugged down a bit as they urged him to repeat himself and keep going. "It makes me sad not to see you at S anymore. I didn't want any of that to happen. I didn't even know what was going on." Langa shrugged, looking at them with a pout. A pout they found adorable. He looked like a kicked puppy who didn't like the fact their owner left their home everyday. [Y/N] mentally cringed at the thought. What were they thinking? This was the same guy who went up against their brother and banned them from S. They hated him. They were supposed to hate him. [Y/N] clicked their tongue, throwing Langa off the sense, wondering if he said anything wrong. A faint red hue decorated their cheeks. They turned their back on him, hugging themselves.

"Whatever. Whether you knew what was going on or not, doesn't matter. My board got destroyed and I can't go back to S. Everything happened..." [Y/N] whispered, arms slowly fell back to their sides as they watched the sun beginning to settle down for the rest of the day. "I've got nothing... I've got no one-"

"You got me." Langa butt in. The words made them do a double take on him. It caught them off guard. And Langa continued to surprise them. A determined glint in his eyes as he stepped closer. "Reki can build you a new board and we can all skate. Together. We can skate outside of S, anyway. It'll be fun!" Langa bounced a bit in his steps, smiling brightly. "We can hang out together. And if you don't have a job, you can work with Reki and me. You even move in wi-"

"Stop..."

"We can go to school togeth-"

"Stop it."

"You got us! So, you don't have to wor-"

"Shut up!"

Langa blinked, taken back by the sudden outburst from [Y/N]. He focused back on them, confused why they told him to quiet down. Their brows knitted down, hands clutched by their side. The sunset shoned behind them. The soft breeze brushed against their figure out. And if Langa squinted, he could had notice their faint blush reddened slightly. They looked cute. He wanted to see them blush again.

"Just... why are you doing this?" They asked, their eyes looking anywhere but Langa. They were shy. They found it unbelievable but it happened. They were shy.

Langa stared at them for a moment, making [Y/N] nervous.

"Because I like you."

Those words froze [Y/N] on the spot. Their eyes widen, lips parted slightly. The words ran through their mind like an echo. Langa's charmed smile implanted with it.

"And I want to be your friend."

Impossible.

"That's..." [Y/N]'s face was burning up. Cheeks redder they matched their eyes. "That's stupid." They blurted out quickly, taking a step back. Langa frowned a bit, not unexpecting that sort of answer to his confession. A confession they weren't sure if they were happy about or sadden by it.

"No one wants to be my friend. No one likes me... That's what they always told me." [Y/N] took another step back, brows knitted down but not in anger but in sorrow. Every step they took back, Langa takes one forward. "I'm unlovable... I don't... deserve it." The young former skater shook their head, as if snapping into reality. Tears welled up on their eyes. "You don't like me. You don't. You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't," They repeated quietly, hugging themselves as the tears rolled down their cheeks. Langa panicked. He didn't wanted to upset them. What they said made him wonder who told them such statements. They trembled and he didn't know what to do.

Except for one thing. And he hoped he don't get slap doing so.

Arms wrapped around their frame, a hand on their head as the other rest on their lower back. The hand stroke their head as the other ran their back in a circular form. Langa closed his eyes, hugging [Y/N] closed to him.

"Shh... shh... It's okay, [Y/N]..." He whispered. "Whoever told you those things, they... they don't know what they're talking about." Langa took a deep breath. "But I'm telling the truth. And you do deserve it." He pulled away a bit, cupping their face with his hands and made them looked at him. "I like you. I like you very much. And even though I want to be more, I do want to be your friend." Langa smiled genuinely, blue eyes staring into red ones. "So, please... let me be your friend."

[Y/N] stared at Langa, stunned in his embrace. The blush darkened as Langa continued. They couldn't believe it. Their heart pounded little by little with every word Langa spoke. The hands on their face felt nice. The comfort hug was something they never experienced. They only got hurt by the hands of those who dared say they loved them. But, for whatever reason, they trusted Langa's words.

"Please... don't hurt me..."

[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

[thesacredtwink]

(hi its fox, cant use emoji since im on computer lol) im a bit upset and have a really bad headache now, so im gonna take a break but before i do leave: i just wanna say thanks to all my friends on here for being so kind.. ive sorta been going through a rough time lately and u guys rlly cheer me up <3 anyways, i might not be on for the rest of the night so theres that ig :c sorry for the little rant, bye Nick!! :>

🦊 (<-your fox emoji for you)

Hey, you never need to be sorry Fox! I (and I know the others) are happy to be here for you, and you have been here for me too.

And you are more then welcome, my friend. It's the least we can do to say thank you for being such an amazing person.

Take care of yourself, Fox. Head aces suck, and you deserve some rest 💖♥️💗💓❤️

[emotionalsuppork]

hi i feel really weird about requesting this and idek if it sounds so strange you’ll be like wtf but i’d like to at least feel like somebody loves me even if i feel like no one does :’) umm ig this is an emergency request? tho i mean like i’ve dealt w these feelings w/o requesting stuff so it’s okay if you’re busy! anyways um i feel like my hormones are higher bc my period is taking it’s sweet time 😅 anyways i kinda got yelled at by my dad for smth small but i’ve been doing it often but it’s so small like he really didn’t have to get so upset ANYWAYS wow i’m ranting basically i hide in my closet when i get super overwhelmed and i’ve got a lil bedsheet on there and pillows and a candle so it’s nice and comfy :’) the candle isn’t lit btw, the space is small so the scent goes around well anyways yaku, taketora, noya and sugawara are my comfort characters so maybe smth w one of them? you obvs don’t have to do all, i just thought having choices would help?? i just feel ✨unlovable✨ and everything is hopeless even more so w the pandemic and shit ykw i mean WOW n e ways so sorry this is so long JFKSKSK legit don’t even bother answering if it’s too weird i’m just gonna pretend i didn’t write this i really don’t wanna overwhelm anyone else w what i feel i should get a therapist aye but they’re expensive and i’m broke KFKSKSK okay i’m sorry if i overwhelmed you as well bc you don’t deserve that okay bye 👁👅👁✌🏽

HI OMG IM SORRY I DIDN’T SEE THIS SOONER!! also i do that too! i made myself a blanket nest lol. and no darling you’re not overwhelming me at all! also i literally was JUST complaining about nobody loving me so this request is just like.....fate. i hope this makes you feel a little better and loved! (even if it is late which i am very sorry about, i didn’t realize it was there :( )

-------------------------------

im gonna do some headcanons for all ur boys instead of a longer thing for like 1 or 2 

-------------------------------

Yaku! 

would be the best to vent to 

would 100% get angry on your behalf

also he’d be very reassuring that you’re valid and your feelings are valid and it’s okay to feel like this

he’d definitely take care of you in any/every way he could

he’d also gently scold you if you get too hard on yourself

would be stern about reeling in bad thoughts

gives good advice but also gets that sometimes advice isn’t really all that helpful so he’ll ask what you need beforehand 

would keep checking in about that specific thing

like he always checking in, but now its checking in to see how youre feeling about that

really nice about it but also like laser focused 

you’re going to feel better if its the last thing he does

Taketora!

would try and squeeze into the closet with you 

don’t even try and fight it you are getting his love and you’re getting it now

he’d listen but i think he’d also be bad at advice so he’d just try and make you laugh instead

10/10 best distraction

also wouldn’t allow you to feel hopeless in his presence

like he will constantly be hyping you up 

and if you’re still not convinced on how amazing you are?  well youre about to be

because suddenly you’re getting calls and texts from his team about how cool you are 

and to make it even better you better belive you’ll be getting calls and texts and freaking f a c e t i m e s  from Tanaka and Noya at Karasuno

you literally haven’t even met these boys!?

tora would just look so smug 

Noya!

speaking of noya

he’d be so shocked and bummed out

like what? you dont feel good about yourself? you’re having problems at home? YOU THINK I DON’T LOVE YOU?!?!?!

would be hilariously trying to simultaneously reassure/comfort you and like..beat himself up for not treating you even more like a queen

he is 1000% going to get you out of that closet and take you on the best damn date of your life 

hes clueless though so you’re going to have to be a little blunt about how your feeling to make him understand

would also probably suggest you hanging out more with him and his friends

like his friends all like you so if you’re feeling down about yourself come hang with us and we’ll gas you up!

which is a sweet thought but this boy is literally a puppy so no surprises there

Sugawara!

i think out of all of them, suga would handle everything with the most grace

like he’d totally have some sort of self care routine that he’d walk you through

and then i feel like he’s the type to be like “let’s have a therapy date” where he takes you to lunch or coffee and you guys just vent/rant/cry/work through emotions with each other 

i also think he’s the type to be like “that’s currently a hostile environment so why don’t you come to mine and we can cuddle!”

super sweet and understanding but also will be firm about stuff

like he gets that you feel this way and you’re feelings are vaild, but try and think about it like this instead before you spiral

also he like....wouldn’t let it go

like if a day or two passes and even if you’re feeling better, he’s still gonna check in 

hey you good? you sure? i got you a cookie?

like so so sweet and thoughtful and he’s so caring too 

an angel

[whoreforfanfiction]

They Confess Their Feelings (Mystic Messenger Preferences)

Yoosung

- you two would have to be friends for a while before he felt ready to confess his feelings

- of course, he’s talked to Zen countless times about you already, but never took his advice on telling you how he felt

- at least once a week you were at his house 

- and at least once a month you went out for dinner (which he always insisted on paying for, even though you knew it drilled a hole in his pocket)

- basically, you two spent a majority of your time together

- your favorite was when you’d spend the entire day at his house playing a video game marathon

- you got to spend the most time with him during those

- today though, you two were just sitting on the couch, talking about the new professor that hates him 

- “He’ll come around and see how fun you are,” you commented trying to cheer his sad face up. 

- An immediate blush rose to his pale cheeks

- “You think I’m fun?” he said sheepishly while scratching the back of his neck

- “Of course, silly. Why else would I hang out with you all the time? You’re my favorite person to be around,” you admitted. 

- he knew this was his moment and he tried to remember what Zen had told him to say

- they rehearsed it a million times, but his memory was failing him horribly

- he stumbled around trying to find words to return you with but he eventually just blurted out “I like you!” 

- you were shocked into silence for a second, and he took it the wrong way

- “S-shit forget I said that,” he tried to recover but you had already heard those 3 majestic words

- “No no I like you too! You shocked me there for a second,” you giggled and you pulled him into a shy kiss on the cheek

Zen

- really not shy about his feelings at all

- super self-confident, which is one of the things you liked most about him

- you were friends for a few months and after sharing conversations with you, he knew you were the one

- confided in Yoosung about his feelings since those two are like brothers

- Yoosung knew you liked Zen back

- he said it was a “vibe” he had picked up during your encounters 

- and because you always asked for more selfies in the messenger

- and today, Zen decided he was going to change your friendship and make it something deeper and more meaningful

- you were scheduled to come over to marathon a TV show you both enjoyed

- Zen made sure the scene was set

- he had popcorn, your favorite drink, cozy blankets, tissues for when you cried about characters dying

- really tried to play out every single situation in his head and plan around it 

- when you came over, he made sure you were more than comfortable

- after you two finished your marathon session, you were both somewhat drowsy

- and drowsy conversations lead to deep talk times

- “I like being here with you,” you commented, “I feel safe here.” You cozied up more inside the blanket.

- this boy has never felt more complimented in his life

- “Yeah? Well, I like you!” he said with a slight chuckle that confused you

- “Like? Or like like?” you tried to clarify but ended up sounding like you were gossiping on the elementary playground

- he looked at you, dead in the eyes, “Like like, of course.” 

- “Hehe, I like like you too,” you said as he pulled you closer to his warm body

Jaehee

- very analytical and logical

- she had a theory that you liked her, based on your conversations, but was too scared to actually test it out

- she also knew she felt very strongly towards you 

- more than a friend

- she found herself checking her phone constantly to see if you texted her back

- often got in the way of her work and Jumin started to take her phone for some periods of time

- was in the chatroom CONSTANTLY just hoping you’d show up

- took her breaks when you did enter the chatroom

- you two called at least twice a week after she got off work so she could rant about how bad her day was

- today, you decided to surprise her with chocolates to ease her stress

- you hid behind her desk and jumped out when she came to sit down which did give her a mini heart attack 

- “SURPRISE!” you said as you whipped the chocolates out from behind your back

- her face was firetruck flaming red

- stuttered over her words a lot

- “I like you a lot Jaehee, homo intended, and I wanted to make sure you had a good day today,” you confessed hoping she reciprocated you feelings

- she pressed down her skirt and composed herself

- “I like you too, and I promise next time I will return your kindness,” she stated lovingly while grabbing the chocolates out of your hand

Jumin

- didn’t know what his feelings were for the longest time

- finally, he decided to talk to Zen about them since he is the king of feelings

- “You stupid heir!! You like her! Tsk it’s so sad you can’t even tell that” Zen scolded

- like? that was a new emotion and this one he enjoyed very much

- whenever he was around you, he got these feelings in his stomach and felt a burst of energy

- he was never sad or upset when he was in close proximity with you

- very inexperienced with relationships and didn’t know the best way to show you how much he cared about you 

- Zen also warned him not to throw his money at you because you might get scared off

- he was going to think of an old-fashioned nice way to show you he liked you, without using his money

-  watched lots of love movies to study up because he wanted this to be meaningful

- the common theme he deduced from all the movies was flowers and he happened to know a phenomenal florist

- was going to call, but remembered that he shouldn’t use his money

- walked around nature for a good 4 hours picking out all the flowers he thought you’d like

- tied them together with string to make a bouquet

- but how to deliver them? shipping them to your house would be easiest since you lived on the other side of the city, but he knew that wouldn’t be personal

- he also didn’t wanna arrive at your door in his limo or one of his expensive cars 

- he didn’t want it to come off as him flexing his wealth in an attempt to woo you

- so what did he do? he walked

- this rich boy walked 7 miles to your house

- which was fine until it started to rain

- you heard a gentle knocking at your door and rushed to let him in

- “You’re soaking,” you commented in concern as you ran to the bathroom to get him a towel 

- “I like you,” he got to the point and handed you the dripping bouquet

- you innerly squealed with happiness

- “I like you too!!” you said as you jumped and hugged him around the neck

- you tried to pull away after a second, but he held you there for a moment longer

- “I’m glad you like it,” he said exhausted then sat down on the couch

- drifted off to sleep not much longer aww poor baby

Saeyoung

- you two talked ALL THE MOTHER FUCKING TIME - hung out rarely because his house was a mess and didn’t want to expose you to Mary Vanderwood 

- but there wasn’t a moment where you weren’t texting or facetiming

- which pissed Vanderwood off 

- you face timed which he worked

- you two didn’t talk much during those times, but you appreciated having the company

- at night before bed though was when you two really talked

- he asked about your day and let you talk first

- you could tell he actively listened and truly cared about even the most mundane things that happened that day

- “When you went, did you get the barista you liked?” he asked knowing he hacked into their system to change that person’s hours to when he knew you’d be visiting

- “Yea! I’ve been having him more often now! I’m very happy and my tastebuds are happy too!” You were completely oblivious to his meddling and he thought it was adorable

- one night on facetime, you picked up an hour later then usual and he was upset

- “What’s wrong?” you asked after noticing he had been short with you

- “God dammit M/C I like you and this is the best part of my night! I hate when it’s delayed for one second, let alone an hour,” he complained not knowing he had just admitted his feelings towards you

- “Y-you like me?” you questioned back. you knew you heard him correctly, you just wanted to hear it again.

- “Damn it,” he swore just now noticing his slip up

- you were giggling over the phone

- “What?” he crankily asked, hating the situation thinking you didn’t return the feelings

- “I like you too my defender of justice,” you said while flashing him the biggest smile

- his heart got all warm and happy and all he did was sit and smile in silence for a while

IF YOU WANT ME TO ADD V AND SAERAN MESSAGE ME AND I’LL DO IT TOMORROW BUT IM TIRED RN

[cirilee]

i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki SSL Cross Short Story Kazama “Hobby” Translation

Only one SSl Kazama Cross Short story left....also incoming rant at the bottom as I’m feeling freaking exhausted and annoyed.  -.-

Enjoy the translation... if you are able to. [lol yeah im also upset]

Hakuoki SSL Cross Short Story Kazama x Hobby

Translation by KumoriYami

Inoue: 3rd year class 3 students, hello. Although it no longer seems/may no longer be necessary to introduce yourself, give your name. I am the school cafeteria's Inoue. [cafeteria can be subsiituted w/ canteen, dining hall, etc.]

noue: Today's fifth period class/lecture is special, as I am in charge of it as the lecturer/as I will be your lecturer.

Inoue: Although wearing this is a bit embarrassing, nevertheless treat me kindly [alt: please take care of me].

Kazama: Ah. Unexpectedly having you come to teach class/teach this one [me], is a big deal. [Alt: I can't believe you've come to teach me, this is no small task/ this is not meant for someone without capability.] [not sure????]

Kazama: Hey, what is the contents of today's class/lecture? If it's too boring this one [I] will not spare you.

Inoue: Today I'll be teaching you how to write your resume. As third year students, you will face the opportunity/prospect/challenge of getting/going to university and getting jobs/getting a job, and I believe that there will be more opportunities to write resumes/ believe that the opportunities for writing resumes will increase.

Inoue: Therefore the school has decided to entrust me with sharing my knowledge with everyone/So the school has decided for me to give a lecture to everyone as someone with work experience.

Inoue: Next please prepare [take?] a blank resume. Discuss with your classmates and think about your strengths, and write them down in that column. [Probably meaning: Fill in the blanks]

Kazama: ——Full name: Kazama Chikage. Age: unknown. Specialties(/skills): there is nothing that this one/I cannot do.

Kazama: Next is hobbies.... Let's write down observing human behaviour. [I think?]

Inoue: Well, it turns out that Kazama's hobby is observing human behaviour. I believe/ I'm sure you have a lot of experience in observing human behaviour, [so] you can use these experiences as a highlight to introduce yourself/highlight in introducing yourself...

Kazama:......What are you talking about?

Inoue: Nn?

Kazama: Did you think that I would actually observe the common rabble? That's simply ridiculous. Kazama: To be my target of observation during the day and night [alt: at all times], [there is] only one person. [basically: There is only one person who has my interest at all times.]

Kazama: Right/That's right/correct,  that is my wife, Yukimura Chizuru, only this one person [only her]!

Inoue:............

Inoue: That is not calling observing human behaviour, [rather that] feels as if should belong to a more dangerous category/classification.....

Kazama: Almost forget. In the spouse [martial status] column draw [put] in a “〇”.

Inoue: You can't fake [a/your] resume......

----

i’m not sure if i’ll get to  finishing the cxm 2017 otomate party drama this month.... 

P.S. i’m going to rant now since i am 1000000000000000000000000000000% sick of the federal election news coverage. [sorry but this is how I cope. also i intend to vote and did watch the federal leaders’ debate]

I’m seriously fucking tired of hearing about the federal election that I will be voting in. I wish people would realize that regardless of how good it may be to have more money in your wallet, a point i will not argue against since money is a necessary resource for any country since economic activity is required to do anything, including investing in transitional and cleaner alternatives and technologies, but it will mean less than nothing if you don’t have a livable environment or air to breathe. The lack of understanding on this by the what-will-not-be-named c-party of Canada, especially aggravates me. If they really wanna scrap the carbon tax, that’s fine, but they seriously need an actual environmental plan that will do something aside from giving b.s. lip service. I mean, really, will any amount of money be enough if you can’t breathe? Just look at what air pollution has done to Asia.

I’ve always said and believed that if you don’t have your health, than you have nothing, but why does it seem that so many politicians seem to believe that money is like the only thing people should care for? The threat of climate change is very real, and it’s most direct impact on people as individuals will be through the air unless someone somehow don’t breathe in oxygen. Increased air pollution, and the subsequent drop in air quality has contributed to the deaths over 2 million people every year and ignoring this, which has gotten significantly worse due to increased global temperatures, is simply unacceptable.

It just feels like no one thinks long term about the environment in politics. No one seems to care or connect how global warming will actually have effect the economy. For the example of air pollution, increased sickness and diseases related to the increase in pollutants in the air will mean more people needing healthcare, which will in turn affect  the number of people actually contributing to the economy. With an already aging population, and one that is also shrinking, that also means less people contributing, and increased deaths or just people being unable to work as much since they either require care, will overall mean less money they can spend to support local economic activities, which will then result in the recipients of said money with less money to do the same thing and result in less economic activity overall, which therefore also means less economic growth, stability and prosperity, and less money to support those same social services that people will need to rely on as the demand for healthcare increases.    

*sighhhhhh* 

Seriously i could go on, but I’ll refrain from writing an essay right now... though I will say that I’ve done projects/speeches that were related to the the environment and climate change in some way for almost every single year I was in school since grade 4 and I do my best to follow news related to the environment so I do know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, this will probably be the only semi-political/semi-environmental rant I make before election day... and until next year... at least unless something seriously pisses me off after the election ends.  

[evanssthot]

diego hargreeves taking care of you when you’re sick would include..

a/n: please send in requests! “would include”s are my best. i would love to write more for this sweet razor baby boy! :,)

- waking up on top of him. he’s already awake and you just know you’re sick so you groan out a “fuuuuuuuckkkk”

- “does waking up with me genuinely make you this upset?”

“i’m fuggin sick”

*insert gif here*

- “so what you’re telling me is.. you got sick withOUT MY PERMISSION”

“yell at my immune system”

“FUCK YOU, WHITE BLOOD CELLS”

- he gives you your favorite sweatshirt of his. it swaddles you up and smells like him and his heart melts

- “baby? what do you need?”

“a f f e c t i o n”

“yeah ok i meant like food or whatever but that’s cool too”

- not getting up from bed, only for food breaks

- di yells for grace so she can fix you both food and get medicine

- “can i have dinosaur chicken nuggets”

“im the one that’s sick”

- braiding your hair terribly but it’s the thought that counts

- putting your head in the crook of his neck, breathing in his scent and not leaving there for hours

- forehead kisses

- cheek kisses

- almost mouth kisses but you don’t wanna get him sick

- back rubs

- watching his favorite movies and letting him rant because you don’t have the energy to tell him to shut up

- “can i please please please kiss you”

“ughhhh if i have to deal with you being sick tomorrow i swear”

- “it’s hot in here”

“why is your room so cold”

- forcing you to drink water

- soft smiles down at you and “you’re so cute when you’re sick”

- he doesn’t wanna get sick so he just holds his breath for hours at a time

- but of course it doesn’t work because he can’t keep his lips off of yours

- and then the two of you suffer in mucus-y pain for the next few days together

- “hey, di?”

“yeah, princess?”

“i fuckin told you so”

[freakofnormal]

hi tumblr. idk why im turning to this to help me feel better, but im extremely upset and insecure at the moment.

today i decided to try and tan a little so i put on my bikini and went about it. afterward, i felt very cute so i took some selfies and i liked this one so i edited it a little and asked my friends if they thought i should post it on my instagram. they said no, because they thought my boobs were out. hours of deliberating later, i decide to post it because i felt confident and knew that the point of the post wasnt to be sexual by any means.

after posting it, my friend texted “love going onto family friendly instagram and seeing TITTIES” and another friend commented nothing but “tits.” both of these things hurt my feelings so much. i deleted the comment and decided to just confront them and ask them to not say that stuff because it really hits hard at my insecurities.

im not a very skinny pretty girl. im thicc, chubby, whatever you wanna say. ive had very large boobs since i was 12 and theyve obviously only grown since then. this is something that runs in my family that i cant really control. ive struggled for years with my self-image. self-love was always hard to come by. every summer i would see girls post the typical beach selfie or picture in just a bikini. they always got love and support from their friends. so why not me? why should i feel that i have to cover up in all my photos just because im bigger than a C cup?

for once, i would love if i could wear a swimsuit or a low-cut shirt and not have people immediately jump and say “wow your boobs are out!” because i am more than my fucking tits. my dad did it to me yesterday when i went to leave the house in a tank top. my friends did it on this post. at college when we got dressed up for parties, my friends would always comment on how my boobs looked in my outfit. i reached out for my boyfriend for support and was met with “well i see where theyre coming from.”

i am a 19 year old woman and i will not be objectified or made to feel like the size of my tits is the only defining characteristic of who i am in photos. i still do like the picture so i’ll post it here instead. if we as a society hope to achieve equal rights for women, instances like this should stop. just because im a little bigger than your average instagram girl doesnt mean i should feel like i need to cover up. if i want to show self-love i should be allowed to do it without being shamed for a part of me that i cannot control. i feel extremely sick and disgusted that this happened, and im going to try and not blame it on myself or those around me. but i just needed to rant, because the hurt i feel right now is terrible.