#im just upset and wanna rant >:C

[mi-co-uk]

hiii id love if you could write a yapper!chris x mute!reader blurb where chris knows all her little cues — like sleeve-tugging, finger-tapping, or squeezing his hand 3 times to ask “are you okay?” he always squeezes back once for yes. Maybe during a soft, intimate moment (like during sex or after), they use these cues no words needed, just that quiet understanding. Something soft and grounded in their nonverbal connection. LMFAOO im not in tune with ur au rn so maybe this is so out of context idkkk

okay so I love literally all of that so much, out of all the mute reader pairings yapper chris is definitely the most in tune with all of dottys cues because they've like never been apart

I hope you like the blurbie :>

⍣ ೋ MUTE READER X YAPPER CHRIS

When chris seems stressed out 

The easiest way to tell when chris is stressed or worried is the fact he stops talking lmao, in particular he tends to fiddle with his hands, wont stop messing with his hair.

One time he wouldnt stop pacing her room, wide eyed as he tried to think through a certain social situation he was dreading. Dotty was perched on the edge of her bed and just reached for his belt and tugged at it, so he stopped and faced her. She just looked at him with a little worried face and chris stopped and sat on the bed with her. Eventually he kind of layed sideways to rest his head in her lap so she could play with his hair while he ranted about why he was worried. 

When she wants to go home

Happens a lotttt because chris doesnt get tired the same way dotty does, like he’ll just walk around a mall for hours until hes been everywhere unless dotty said she was tired.

They usually hold hands when they walk around so when dotty like taps her fingers onto his hand then he knows that she needs to stop whether its to go home or just to pee. He’ll turn face her and she’ll do a full pouty frown and that means its time to go orrr she’ll do an awkward smile if she just needs a wee lol. 

After they do anything sexual

She usually cant find the effort to sign at all which is always fine because chris knows what she needs anyways.

She likes looking at chris’ face before falling asleep and shell always just lay her hand on his face while he stares at her with his puppy dog eyes (because hes so whipped its crazy) but she keeps it there so he doesnt move or get distracted forgetting that she likes his little face.

She sometimes will lay fully on his chest if she wants him to like draw patterns with his hands onto her back or just a little massage, sometimes chris will be too tired to remember so dotty just sits up a little and dead ass stares into his soul until he remembers and he’ll do a little giggle before doing it :3

Physical contact 

Whenever dottys upset, chris’ first response is to hold her because its like a subconscious if i dont hold her then she’ll literally slip away from him and he gets so worried :c

but some days shes too overwhelmed for it so she just holds her hand up like flat so almost like a still wave, hes usually good at noticing straight away but sometimes she has to put her palm on his chest and just push gently so he knows to like back off.

He tends to grab her stuffed animals for her to hold if shes inside, he’ll also give dotty his stuffed animals if theyre at his house but shes usually more comfortable there but yknow it happens.

If she wantssss physical contact its the easiest thing in the world. She just kind of holds her arms out (if chris is like across the room) and she giggles until he looks and then he runs over to give her a big bear hug c: dotty is usually in charge of initiating physical contact coz chris doesnt wanna pressure her into it 

a/n theyre so cute 😞

[kralierror404]

SIT DOWN CHAT. ITS RANT TIME.

What do you mean Alex started making his actual film when he was aroud 20 and then at age 27-28 he fucking dies. I cant. He was so young and it ruins me man, i gotta rant about my fave.

Alex seemed so determined and happy about making this movie, it had auditions, a trailer, a few recorded takes that never released, his “best” friend literally got cast as the main character for it!! - bro was so excited for ppl to audition for his project (you can hear it in his voice when hes talking to Brian abt asking Tim to try out). Alex also literally declined going to dinner so he could work on things for Marble Hornets. He had such a nice like friendgroup too Brian, Tim, Jay.

Like Alex pre-operator was probably the sweetest guy imo, he was proud of the people working with and for him, he cared about them (he says hes very proud of Jay and also asks Tim abt his like coughing), he was also quite patient i believe.

Then yk shit hits the fan over the 3 months Marble Hornets is being shot and he changes so so much its so insane - he gets paranoid and irritable and his passion isnt all there anymore :C which probably was really upsetting, and maybe caused some internal confusion and conflicting feelings in himself of: “Why cant i just be normal!?” meaning he’s kinda at war with himself. Also not to mention he was going through the operators effects alone at the time so its not like he could just bring it up without sounding crazy, he probably felt so alone and that no one would understand.

As we know he moves away, probably to hopefully escape whatever was happening to him and to put things behind him, to start over in a new place, where its safe and thats with Amy!. Now ive brought this up before but idc- he says on the phone to her

“Im gonna come visit you soon okay?”

“Okay.”

“And while im up there we might actually film a few things for Marble Hornets”

“Good i could use the company.”

“Actually uh..ive been thinking, i might try to transfer there after im done shooting all this.”

(That to me is Alex already planning to stop shooting it, already making plans to move with Amy but hes still unsure if he’ll be putting her in danger)

“For real?”

“Yeah, i mean the film program is better the one im at now so..i mean well thats what ive heard at least”

“Also i just dont like being this far away from you.”

(He says that so ominously but hes definitely like sure of himself and obviously Amy sees nothing wrong with it, she’s probably just happy that her boyfriend is going to come see her for the first time in..however long. Alex probably thinks he can keep her safe too)

MY POINT WITH THAT PHONE CALL ISS: His solution of escape was to 1. Burn the tapes and 2. Go to Amy to be safe but also to make sure SHES okay

Literally he thought that the operator and him murdering Brian would magically go away if he just left the area to be with someone who loved him, it was probably also his way of ignoring those things which all in all was a HORRIBLE coping mechanism (yk ignoring it) but heyy its Alex, he is not healthy. So, for 4 whole years he lives with Amy, away from everything and then WHOOPS Mr pale tall and skinny is there again to fuck up his day.

I honestly dont even wanna go in depth about how Alex mustve felt, how bad it must have hurt for his past to come back on him and find him somewhere he was meant to be okay. Also the way he probably killed Amy, did he make her feel secure then did it as she died in his arms? did she fight him? Amy does seem confrontational in a way- then he had to leave her behind, start anew AGAIN.

Except this time, he finds Jay has gotten himself involved and there is Alexs new goal, his new task that continues to drive him throughout the series that absolutely turns him into more of a horrible person: STOP THE SPREAD OF THE SICKNESS AND ‘SAVE’ EVERYONEE…except for that one guy he just killed while he was going insane.

One person i doubt he was trying to save eventually, was Brian, given that apparently Brian has been killed multiple times, instead Brian became like a pest getting in his way which makes sense. SO OVER THE COURSE OF 3-4 years, all this shit his happening and it gets to the point where Alex admits he thought HE was the problem (which in a way, he is), he shifts that blame onto Tim, then the big fight happens where they’re ultimately trying to kill eachother.

Alex is dying but as he is, he seems sorta sad, he fully believes he was doing the right thing and now, the only “right” thing to do, is die.

God its just his transition from making a silly student film and then 7 or 8 years later, dying due to an Eldritch being really messing up his and everyones life.

[mika-chaos-bean]

i dont wanna be involved with any ship discourse AT ALL so please keep me out of it. stop saying that my selfships are making others upset because its not [insert ship here] PLEASE, understand the fact i selfship for C O P I N G R E A S O N S and because SELFSHIPPING IS FUN GOSH DANG IT! just block me if you dont like me

and also please stop involving me with all this sontails stuff. stop telling me in my inbox "oH yOu MuSt LiKe SoNtAiLs BeCaUsE yOu HaVeN't SaId AnYtHiNg AbOuT iT" LIKE DUDE I DONT TALK ABOUT IT BECAUSE THIS BLOG IS SUPPOSED TO BE A S A F E S P A C E

i see sonic and tails as BROTHERS and get very uncomfortable seeing shipping art of them. if YOU like it then please leave me out of any talking about it. i have the tag blocked. im not shaming anyone who likes it, you guys like what you like. just please dont interact with me and block me. that is all i ask

from what i know, all my mutuals dont ship sontails, either that or i havent seen it yet, but i'd like to keep it that way.

(sorry for the rant, i dont want to sound mean, really! but theres been a bunch of people coming to my inbox, off anon, being mean to me so i needed to say this)

[doegirldaydreamerarchived]

Diary entry #5 - 27/01/25

Okay tbh im writing this the day after bc i feel like it would b good to talk about it and honestly i wanna get this gross week off my chest rn, so then i can talk abt my cute weekend yaayy!

So firstly tbh i cant say much abt before school giggles. I caann say a little abt first which was history tho. Which is most just erm.. were kinda doing about a certain european country before n during WW2 (you can probably guess which one) and were learning about how Jewish people were persecuted and its really hard to listen to. Like im grateful we are bc i feel like everyone should know about it. Like our schools here have to learn about it and tbh im glad bc my god is it haunting. We did it for like 2 lessons and ive nearly cried in both of them bc wow. Also omg i need to rant abt something. It happened on thursday but tbh im not writing abt it so ill just say it here. One of the annoying boys (A) was ofc mumbling to himself as he always does bc he really thinks hes the main character - and he compared the thing were learning about to squid game. SQUID GAME. Another boy told him to stfu thank god bc im sorry he would not have left the room if i heard that. We were literally talking about how in a book about this book about it (graphic warning for text in red bc jesus), they used to make a group of the victims race and would end whoever came last. And he was so disgusting w so little empathy that he thought abt squid game. Thats actually so disgusting how can you have so little empathy for other people that you have the audacity to say that. Honestly i used to think the boy who told him to stfu was annoying bc hes really loud and has a sorta obsession w the world wars and i thought he was one of the weird ones, but hearing that made me kinda respect him more icl. Like he has honest values which erm. Are maybe sometimes a little rare in my school.

But uh.. yeah, anyways. I dont wanna linger on upsetting stuff honestly. Still tho, if ur school doesnt teach about it please please please just learn a little about it or listen to victim testimonies because even tho its horrible i think its something everyone should be a little haunted by.

Right. Uuh then we had english. Omg it feels so weird just mood pivoting like that its def whiplashy omg. Uh okay so we had our new homework set which tbh i dont think was bad honestly i dont really remember it. Also we have a new teaching thingy where like miss highlights n annotates stuff before lesson bc apparently we cant multitask which like. I think its kinda stupid. But anyways it makes it really hard to focus icel like were just sat there doing nothing and its so hard not to zone out. And one of my friends kinda falls asleep when hes just listening and miss saw him omg. She like sorta mini called him out then she sorta lectured the whole class abt zoning out. Like omg im sorry i would never be able to show my face there again omg i feel so baaddbd.

Okay anyways help. Tbh im gonna sorta skip over break bc its usually just us yapping and its a bit of a blur bc of it lol.

Uhm and then biology. So im gonna get the bad thing over first. Basically at the end of the lesson miss was cold calling and she called on me and i told her the answer and the girl (C bc i wrote the next entry before this and i gave her a nickname then so shsh) was like ‘she didnt even read the board..’ bc i think before she said sumet about just looking at the board bc the answers were up there and its like. Firsty i didnt have my glasses on so there was no point in ugly squinting at the board when i could not waste peoples time bc i knew the answer. Also the way she said she. Like.. i do have a name.. you can say it. Also bc before in the lesson i gave her my answers after miss asked me to bc she wasnt in for the lesson. And like she said thanks like.. the switch up. Also then when we were doing that when miss came up to check the answers they looked weird bc i wrote them different and ofc she copied mine and when miss asked she just said ‘thats what she gave me’ like.. yeah but you couldve been a little nicer im litro helping her. Also like. I need to kinda confess something. Sometimes i wonder if she doesnt ever look at me or say my name bc she feels guilty about what she did and part of me feels a little glad about it even tho i hate it. Like sure she prolly doesnt even remember but also. Idk. I dont wanna think it but part of me just does. I dont mean to be nasty about her but i dont think she really does just bc of how bitey she sounds. Idk girls i dont wanna think abt it too much. Anyways on a funner note in that lesson wed tested like the effects of antiseptics and stuff on bacteria and ours was really weird bc where the dettol killed the bacteria in ours something else grew and miss said shed never seen it before lol. I think maybe its like cold or sumet bc my friend was sick when we did it.. but also u think dettol would kill that?? Idk im putting the pic i took anyways bc im a nerd and i think its cool giggles.

Aadbdndn then maths. I gave in my hw bc ofc i wasnt in on friday and we just did translations of shapes n stuff. But also the kid next tome was eating sweets and ofc bc he annoys me sometimes i have to annoy him back so i joked abt how loud his sweets were (bc we cant eat in lesson) and he was just like ‘sshshsh’ and put one in my pocket. And honestly? I stfu bc i do in fact take bribes ty.

Thenennn lunch. Also a bit of a blur ive gotta be honest.. it was nice tho i love hanging out w my friends. Not to add anymore depressing into this but tbbbbhhh i gotta be more honest abt my feelings n shit w them.

Anyways! Uhh, okay not something good but my exam period. Firstly we had a sub which sucked bc i wanted to get something from my teacher to prep for the exam but it was oh well. Then the computer i used last lesson wouldnt turn on so i had to use a diff one. So idc about that but then i found out i accidentally saved my last draft to that computer. And it wouldnt turn on. So uh icel i cried for the first 10 mins of that lesson. Im really glad the kid that usually sits in the corner wasnt in bc he wouldve seen me silently ugly crying. And then to make it even better?? An annoying loud kid got sat next to my friend like a seat away from me. So i was sat there silently crying trying not to freak out as this kid made fart noises and annoyed my friend. And ive gotta be so real i was having VIOLENT thoughts about this kid i was so angry. I genuinely dont think ive ever been more pissed at anyone ever in my life. I am! Not proud of it!! But i gotta confess it somewhere tbh. Anyways i decided to just sort the end bit of the exam that i hadnt started and emailed my teacher abt it bc we create solutions here fr! Im having a moment bc she still hasnt replied but its fine im sure shes sorting it.

Anyways i was so glad when that lesson was over tbh. But the only thing was i decided to stay after school to do extra maths w my old teacher bc we dont do some of the higher paper stuff in my class. But hes in with the dts for half an hour afterschool so i had to wait. I was hanging by the bathrooms bc apparently my friend who i was going with went there. One of my friends stopped by to yap for a bit tho so it wasnt evil. But when he left i checked in the bathrooms and i saw the group of girls who dont like me and i just.. no. (Also im gonna drop the lore w them bc saying so many ppl ate me makes me sound evil icel. basically there were two girls who used to make fun of me and my friend, one of them was c. The other one i heard telling a girl to khs behind her back and i felt bad so i told her and the girl who said it found out and now DESPISES me. Which tbh is sorta my fault for saying it and im not gonna deny it. But ofc that made her friends hateee me and they still do even tho it was like 2 years ago. Ofc they dont need to forgive me but.. yk i wouldnt mind being left alone.. anyways! Yeah i do feel guilty abt the stuff that started it honestly but ive become a diff person and in a way ive come to terms w it a little) Okay anyways the second i got to sirs room my friend appeared bc she was acc in the same bathroom as those girls and i just left right before she got there giggle. But yeah bc sir wasnt there we sat in the library for a bit and js did some homework. Then we went up and couldnt find sir and another teacher needed to find him and it was a whole thing but im not even gonna go into it tbh. Basically we just stayed for an hour and went over stuff and i acc think i mostly get it. He also showed me a site that im gonna use to revise bc its really useful.

Okay and then it was hometimmeee yaay. Firstly when we were walking back before she got into her car her dad was like ‘oh do u want a ride’ and ofc my mum was on the way so i said no thanks but it was so sweet </3 Also i got myself a treat from tesco before my mum got there. It was litro perfect as well bc im trying to save but i was like ‘ok if i have more than 80p ill get it’ and i had exactly 13.80. It was just perfect tbh. And then i got to read for a bit w coffee even tho it was litro getting dark outside which.. oml. But anyways i started a new book bc i finished the last one (which BROKE MY HEART BTW.)!! Anyways honestly i mostly just bedrotted after that.

Actually okay i completelt blanked on this even tho i wrote this for it but i also hung out w my friends. They invited me first and i said no but then i was like actually i do wanna see them i love them so i scoffed my tea and acc legged it over which tbh made me feel like a kid again. But basically it was a joke powerpoint night talking about my friends ex giggle. Also i felt a bit out of place sometimes but i think it was the bad day talking. Also i got to curl up w one of my girlies so im very happy and was very comfy. And we spoke for ages. But by the end we were mostly just chilling watching tiktoks and stuff. Also we did a smash or pass and i feel the need to say one of the only unanimous smashes (including the one straight guy there and my lesbian arse) was moistcritikal. Which ofc everyone needs to know. Anyways giggling then i just went home at like half eight and instantly went to bed.

Soo yeah!! Honestly it wasnt the greatest start to the week but its okay bc ill turn it around one way or another. Love you all!!

Rue, signing out 𓂃۶ৎ

[midnighteloquence]

ohhhh i know now

yo so i need one more code name letter

uh E: person i stopped being friends with for a multitude of reasons who i still dont like to this day buttt

so i stopped being friends with her like early this year right? and confronted her about all the horrible shit she did because honestly they did alot of horrible shit anyways uh so idk but C said that they did a lot of things that im not sure they did (like “copy their stim” or “touch their thigh”) which okay idk whether or not to believe you

anyways so i absolutely hated when E liked the same things as me which understandable because i dont wanna share my special interests with a person i dont like but recently ive started to just not care as much?? like fhey posted about her watching hamilton and i just dismissed it. i couldnt feel angry at it or anything lmfao. i felt more chill towards him yk yk

and i mean i still dislike him and dont wanna be friends i just seem less petty and angry towards the situation as a whole. like tbh i have better things to do than be upset at a person just because they like undertale. ive even shared some of my interests with her (thermmmmmmmmmmmmmm) because i want to. ive shown my drawings to her because i wanted to show them cool stuff

and dont get me wrong i still dislike them and still think theyre not a good person but im just more chill about it yk? i dont absolutely despise them i just dislike them. like i wouldnt wish death upon him obviously im not a monster i just. yk? neutral towards them.

very short rant sorry anyways whdhfu bdiuruwhrhfh bye

[miniturefawn]

Can my partner's narcissistic mother stop fucking stalking us. I guess someone at my partner's work is secretly friends with her and told her where we were going because they made casual conversation.....this happened last time but ffs like my partner changed hospitals and stuff. How many friends does this batshit woman have who work in hospitals?

It looks like she is no where near where we are staying in one of the states and I don't think they gave any time specific dates for when we will be in the state, so hopefully we are okay. You'd think going no contact for almost 3 years would be enough but Jesus fuck I guess not.

Yes my partner was born in a male body, but that does not mean he is a fill in for your husband 🤢 I did not take "him" from you 🤮 let us live our lives.

[the-record]

when emma falls in love

synopsis: ellie might be in love with you, and you might just be in love with her too… if only you could admit it

pairing: college!ellie x fem!reader

warnings: too many tlou references, food, not proofread!!!!! also using angel in place of y/n bc it makes me cringe a little!

a/n: lets play a game called “how many references can kate make in her fics?”

‘IM JUST PRETTY GREAT WITH MY FINGERS’

when emma falls in love, she paces the floor closes the blinds and locks the door when emma falls in love, she calls up her mom jokes about the ways that this one could go wrong

ellie couldn’t keep up.

she felt like every time dina came over, there was someone new in your life, and she couldn’t understand how. you were perfectly nice and even prettier.

but here she was, yet again in her dorm, listening to dina rant about the latest endeavor.

“and he was just a total dick! like, how are you going to say you’re busy tonight with family and then go to a party? like are you stupid?” dina sighed. “i love her, but god does she picks some idiotic ones. you remember the beach girl?”

oh she remembered the beach girl.

on an annual beach trip over spring break, some blonde had caught your eye, and you caught hers. you had invited her to join them for dinner, and how could anyone say no to you?

you hit it off with the blonde, abby, and she spent the next couple days with the group, constantly flirting with you. ellie had felt a sort of dread fill her stomach. why her? she was obviously playing in to what you wanted and she knew you were smart enough to see that.

the trip wrapped up and you made plans with abby, excited she only live a town over. but when the time came, you spent 3 hours at the park waiting for her, only to receive a text saying she wouldn’t be able to make it.

you were upset and crashed at dina’s, and ellie had heard about it all the night.

“yes, god, i remember her. what a douche.” she rolled her eyes, standing up to grab her bag for class. “i’ve gotta go, but are we all still going out tonight?” dina nodded with a smile. “cool. don’t do anything stupid. and lock my door before you leave, please.”

“says you. and i’ll think about it!”

shes walking out the door when she hits something, or someone.

“shit.”

“fuck, sorry my bad.”

when she focuses back, she sees you. “hey, what are you doing here?”

“oh, dina told me to come over. are you going?” you leaned in the doorway. “dina, come on, stop invading people’s space. lets go!”

she groaned, “but ellie said we could smoke here!” she got up nonetheless, heading to join you. “thanks anyways els, have fun in class!”

“bye ellie!”

she sighs as she watches you two walk away. why does air fill her head whenever shes around you?

she waits and takes her time ‘cause little miss sunshine always thinks its gonna rain when emma falls in love, i know that boy will never be the same

“so, angel, how’s it going with you and that girl?” jesse felt a kick at his leg and turned to dina. “what? am i not allowed to ask questions?”

“no, no, it’s fine. we didnt work out, but thats okay!” you smiled brightly at the table. “i think im gonna take a break anyways. im kinda sick of it.”

they all shared a knowing look. “hey, no! i promise, this is for real.”

“hun, its not that we don’t believe you.” ellie started. “iits just that… we dont believe you!” you groaned and stole a fry from her plate. “look, we’ve just heard that a lot, and we dont wanna see you get hurt.”

“but im not going to! because im taking a break.” you kicked ellie. “you dont have to believe me, but can you at least pretend to?” they gave in and cheered for you. “thanks, now who wants to share a brownie?”

“okay, so its c minor sharp, f sharp, b, e, repeat?” you and ellie sat on the dorm room floor, her guitars in both of your laps.

“yea exactly, just on the third repeat, its a g sharp minor instead of a b.” you nodded at her and plucked the chord. “exactly. and i pluck for it so just… just watch?”

she played the song slowly, speaking her pattern as she went along. you nodded at her when she finished, figuring you knew it well enough. “okay, play it together?”

“yep!”

she counted down before starting, making you smile.

“talking away, i dont know what im to say. ill say it anyway, todays another day to find you shying away. ill be coming for your love, okay.” you hummed a harmony as ellie sang the words.

“are you sure you don’t usually play? youre a total natural at this.” ellie marveled as you let the last chord hum out.

“i guess im just pretty good with my fingers.” you felt your cheeks blaze as you heard back what you said.

dina chuckled, “damn right!” she stood up, going for the door. “gonna grab a bottle of water. play more for us beautiful ladies!”

ellie taught you the rest of the song, both of you more awkward than usual. you really came along it so fast, ellie was amazed.

“okay, seriously, you have to be messing with me because you are way to good at this.”

“i promise! i only took piano lessons.”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

ellie had a thought that she might be, maybe, just could be a little in love with you.

she couldnt be though. right?

sure, she knew all of your favorite foods, and knew the words to your favorite song, knew your favorite books like the back of her hand, could tell anyone how you took your coffee.

but that was friendly. you guys were friendly. friends.

she guessed you guys hung out a lot, but thats because they always hung out as a group. she might’ve gotten excited when you joined, but that doesnt mean anything.

and of course she had noticed you were pretty. gorgeous, even. but so had everyone else. its not like she had purposefully memorized your features. every line and mark.

she could draw jesse from memory perfectly, its not like she liked him.

it was normal.

totally normal.

fuck.

“where’s angel?” ellie asked, looking to dina.

“not coming.” she sighed, digging around her purse for a pack of gum. “said she was busy, but she wouldn’t say why.”

“i think we all know why,” jesse teased. they all gave him a look, but he leveled them with one of his own. “im not insulting her. its just that, this isn’t exactly out of her nature. i mean seriously, who actually took her promise seriously?”

ellie excused herself to the bathroom, dialing you before she even reached the door.

“hello?”

“hey, where are you?” she picked at the already chipping nail polish she had on.

“uhm, im out.” you sighed. “look, im kind of busy. did you need somet-“

she had to cut to the chase. “are you on a date?”

“excuse me?”

“are you on a date?”

“thats none of your business.”

“oh fuck off, you know it very much is. so. are you?”

“fine, yea i am. now can i get back to it?”

“we are talking later.”

she joined the group back at their table, but couldnt focus back in on the conversation.

“you okay, ellie?” she looked up at dina, nodding with a hum.

“yea, sorry, got lost for a second.”

when emma falls apart, its when shes alone she takes on the pain and bears it on her own ‘cause when emma falls in love, she’s in it for keeps she wont walk away unless she knows she absolutely has to leave

she didnt even bother to knock, just walked straight through your dorm room door.

“ellie, what the hell?” you were in bed, a book in hand and music playing from a speaker. “what happened to knocking?”

ellie b-lined for your bed, taking a seat at the foot of it. “why were you on a date?”

“dude, seriously, what if i was naked? so not okay!” you placed a bookmark on your page and set the book to the side.

“okay, fine im sorry!” she groaned and found your eyes. “now why were you on a date? what happened to taking a break?”

“what do you want me to say, els?” you exhaled and looked down at your hands. “that i cant keep anything? that i cant keep promises or partners?” ellie felt bad as she saw your eyes were glossy and the frown on your face. “im sorry im such a screwup and that i cant do anything right. anything else?”

ellie ran her fingers through her hair. “im sorry.” she crossed her legs on your bed and looked at you. “really im sorry, this was so uncalled for. youre right, its not my business. im really sorry. i just wan-“

she froze.

surely you couldnt be kissing her right now.

before she could even think to reciprocate, you pulled away, a deer in headlights look on your face.

“im so sorry.” you whispered moving away from her. “god, im so so sorry. you should go. im sorry.” she opened her mouth to try and say anything, but you beat her to it. “ellie, please, just go.”

she saw the tears well and felt compelled to stay. but her body went against her, forcing her feet to walk out the door to her own room.

e: you cant ignore me forever. read

e: please angel, just talk to me. read

e: you kissed me, not the other way around. stop making this my fault. read

e: millers, noon? just coffee, i promise. read

a: im sorry.

ellie tossed her phone at her bed.

“whats up with you?” dina probed. “youve been… peeved this week. whats up?”

“who the hell says peeved?” she tried to joke but was met with dinas serious face. “im fine! seriously!” god that face made her break. “okay fine, just… dont tell anyone.”

dina nodded excitedly and sat down infront of her.

“angel kissed me, and then she freaked out and made me leave, and now she wont even talk to me!” ellie fell back onto her bed.

“SHE KISSED YOU?” dina squealed. “OH MY GOD, HOW COULD YOU NOT TELL ME SOONER!”

“did you hear nothing else that i said?”

and shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

e: please, im begging you, just talk to me. read

a: what do you want me to say ellie?

e: literally anything. read

a: i messed up els, okay?

a: i shouldn’t have kissed you. im sorry.

e: but you should have. and you did. read

a: what?

e: meet me at millers? read

a: ellie…

e: please. read

a: omw.

e: thank you omg. read

a coffee was waiting on the table for you when you arrived. you sat across from ellie, hesitantly taking the drink. “you wanted to talk.” you talk a sip, finding it tasted like your usual order. “so talk.”

“okay look… i’m just as confused and nervous as you are.” she laughed nervously and fiddled with her own cup. “but, im glad you kissed me.”

“what?”

“yea i know.” she took a deep breath before continuing. “i only recently, like very recently, realized my feelings were misplaced. i really dont wanna be friends.”

you groaned, “and you couldnt have just texted me that?”

“fucks sake, just let me finish!” she pleaded, picking back up when you sat back into your chair. “i like you. like, a crazy lot, and it freaks me out. so please, let me at least take you on one date. if not, its fine, we just cant be friends. i wouldnt be able to stand it.”

you chewed at a nail as you took in what she had said.

“say something.”

a beat of silence before.

“okay.”

“okay?” she whispered.

“yea, okay. you can take me on a date.”

well, shes so new york when shes in l.a. she wont lose herself in love the way that i did ‘cause she’ll call you out she’ll put you in your place when emma falls in love, im learning

“hey, hurry up, im waiting downstairs for you.”

ellies voice rang through your room as you placed her on speaker.

“nuh uh, im not done. you asked me out, now deal with the consequences. ill be down when im ready.” you pulled out your outfit, throwing it on as you spoke. “just scroll on insta or something if you’re that bored.”

“fine.”

she hung up and you couldn’t help but laugh. you had been so nervous in the days leading up to this, but suddenly felt much better as she yelled at you like normal.

you finally met her at her car, hopping in the passenger seat and connecting your phone.

“the hell are you doing?” ellie squealed.

you scoffed and rolled your eyes. “passengers princess gets aux. suck it up loser.” you queued up songs as she pulled out and onto the main road. “where are we going anyways?”

“you’ll see.”

“god you are so annoying.”

and yet you smiled at her.

“an arcade? really?” you looked at her with eyebrows raised.

she shrugged and unbuckled, opening her door to get out. you shook your head, shocked still you were on a date with ellie williams. at the arcade.

she pulled you through the maze of a place to some own machine. “mortal kombat? what even is this?”

she smiled so bright, you couldnt help but smile back. “just wait, its so fun.”

emma met a boy with eyes like a man turns out her heart fits in the palm of his hand now he’ll be her shelter when it rains little does he know, his whole world’s about to change

“it was totally fun right? c’mon, you can admit it!” she pushed your shoulder, seeing your smiling face.

“okay yes, fine it was fun, i had fun!” you laughed, staring at her face. “i never really noticed you had this many freckles.”

you traced a finger across her cheeks. down the slope of her nose. across her eyebrow, stopping to poke the scar running through the left one.

“you’re pretty.” you whispered.

she blushed. “i think you’re gorgeous.” she whispered back.

her eyes were so pretty.

“can i kiss you?”

‘cause shes the kind of book that you cant put down like if cleopatra grew up in a small town and all the bad boys would be good boys if they only had the chance to love her and to tell you the truth sometimes i wish i was her

“please.”

yeah, between me and you sometimes i wish i was her

[positiveglitchexists]

Please rant about more stuff! I absolutely love listening to what different people's headcanons and stuff are!! /gen /pos (only if you want to tho-)

I- D-Did you just ask me to rant about more stuff? About my hcs??? What jewel would you like on your wedding ring?/p /j now once again here's a mix of some tickle and non tickle stuff!!! Sorry this took awhile to respond too but I kept adding onto it so- Also warning- Like one swear-

--------------------------------------------------

- C!Tommy gets frequent stomach aches. It isn't anything bad since nothing else happens during them just an upset tummy! But during these stomach aches Tommy likes to lay down with his friends, preferably outside! The grass feels nice to him. Ranboo and Tubbo do it the most often and Wilbur sometimes does it but Tommy gets a bit embarassed asking him too so Wilbur's learned the signs of when Tommy's not feeling well. "Why don't we lay down toms hm?"

- When cc!Tubbo gets headaches, More Often then not Tommy will use one of those weird massage things that go on your head on Tubbo, but it always ends up tickling him. "Wahahit TOHOHMMMY- NOHOHO-"

- Between me and you Tubbo is a squealer, he won't ever admit it but if you tickle him when he's not focused he squeals- Its actually adorable

- C!Tubbo makes sound effects while eating- He literally does "num num num". He never noticed it but he says it helps him eat faster (C!Tommy tried it once because he was very curious. He was very embarrassed when Ranboo walked in on him)

Favorite hc - Tubbo loves giving nibbles, it's not even cause it's a good technique he just likes the idea of being able to bite people and get away with it. When he first told Tommy that, Tommy looked at him with his mouth open before- "What the fuck?"

- I talked about the tickle fight between cc!Tubbo and c!Tubbo but what about Tommy and Ranboo? Well between cc!Ranboo and c!Ranboo they would probably stop halfway to go tickle cc!Tubbo but without that cc!Ranboo would win!... Nah I'm kidding c!Ranboo would, have you seen his tail???? Cc!Ranboo would crumble.

- Now between the Tommy's? I don't actually know.. I think it depends on whoever figures out faster they have the same tickle spots because one of the Tommy's will figure it out and go for the others sides then the other will crumble-

- you wanna know a technique that kills Tubbo? Of course you do- Surprisingly c!Tubbo is weak against baby talk, it literally kills him. c!Tommy was the one to find this out and he makes sure to do it whenever Tubbo's being annoying- "Awww Tubbo arwen't you twhe cutest!!" Or he uses the voice- you know like the one where he first found shroud?? But more menacing- Tubbo will have all the fight melt out of him when someone does that

- The Bench trio are all provoking little crapheads but all of that drains when around Wilbur- they know he won't hesitate to tickle them anywhere, anytime. He does it on vlogs, on lives, during serious lore- Actually scratch that. Everyone knows not to try and provoke Wilbur because if he finds out you are, he will tickle you to pieces.

- this man knows ALL the techniques. Raspberries, Nibbles, Tracing. You name it he knows it! He doesn't have a favorite technique but does have favorite teases. Tickle monster teases are his favorite- "You better keep running~ or else the big bad tickle monster might catch up to youuu~!!"

- Ranboo says L alot while tickling- "Not here? Why? Is it because of this spot? The spot that my skittering fingers are going near? Ohh.. Okay I guess I'll move over here- just kidding im going for your melt spot- L"

[spaciebabie]

PLEASE tell me about your oc lore that comic was SO INTERESTING I'm on my hands and knees begging for more pls

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU FOR THIS ASK I LOVE TALKING ABT MY OCS SM

I HADTA GET MY NOTES OUT FOR THIS ONE!

RANT UNDER READ MORE CUZ IT CONTAINS SPOILERS (EVEN THO IM PURPOSFULLY VAGUE) AND ITS ALSO A LOT

my GOD katherine quin- MY TRAGIC PROTAGONIST BABY WHO FEELS LIKE SHE ALWAYS HAS TA DO SOMTHIN ABT THE SITUATION EVEN THO SHE'S JUST A KID

i LOVE slow burns so everything in the story takes a moment ta kick off. you have katherine, "curiosity killed the kat" quin n her perfect parents, perfect friends n perfect life. everything is good. she's a kookie middleschooler abt ta go ta highschool, she's president of the history club, she's designated as the LEADER of the rexica manor field trip b/c of how dedicated she is ta learning abt their history.

she goes on the trip! it goes great, stupendous even! she comes home!! her parents are unreasonably upset for no reason b/c of a specifc thing that happens that i dont wanna spoil EERURUERUGUEGUEUGR

and she ends up learning a horrible truth. she's like, "i feel like we should do something now, with this thing i aquired maybe i can do something." n ppl keep telling her ta, "leave it ta the adults" "what are you even going ta do?", "everything is already in motion you just hafta wait till it all falls inta place" but-

FROM HER POV THE ADULTS HAVE BEEN STAGNANT, AWARE OF THE PROBLEM FOR 20+ YEARS N HAVENT BEEN DOING ANYTHING (spoilers? this is the incorrect mindset)

so she goes n does something STUPID. she directly puts herself in harms way, she puts herself in the forefront of the action b/c she thinks she can do somthing and the adults are forced ta acknowledge her b/c of this. they're forced ta include her even though they dont want to. again another child has decided that they want ta b involved in an ADULT MATTER and the only way they can make sure she n the other dumb kids stay alive is ta involve them so that they can watch over them.

time passes, a new character joins the fray. a deranged lunatic who will stop at nothing ta get what they want. they fucking flip the WHOLE WELL PLANNED OUT OPERATION THAT HAS BEEN IN THE WORKS FOR 20+ YEARS ON ITS HEAD AND KAT TURNS INTA A DIRECT TARGET.

people are hunting her. they want her dead. the police are aligned w/a new corrupt government that are after the thing she has designated herself ta protect (notice how i said, "herself" THE ADULTS DO NOT WANT HER TA PROTECT THIS THING) she's a fugative. she's an outlaw. she's protecting something the public percieves as dangerous, but she knows its not. her parents cant help her, n while she does have adults there ta aid her its obvi not the same. she misses her parents so much, she's stressed trying not ta get caught n die, having ta move from place ta place b/c of the threat of being recognized n the constant raids on the places she's at. i think that her birthday falls w/in this timeframe so like,,,,imagine trying ta celebrate your sweet 16 when your government is actively out hunting you.

AWFUL ANGSTY JUST THE WAY I LIKE IT

I HAVE HAD THIS WHOLE STORY PLANNED OUT SINCE I WAS 14 OH MY GOD I FUCKING LOVE THIS ARC!! ITS THE ANGSTIEST ARC OF THEM ALL AND AFTERWARDS THE CHARACTERS HAFTA SPEND THE NEXT ARC HEALING FROM THIS HORRIBLE THING WHILE DANGER STILL LOOMS IN THE DISTANCE.

THEY'RE IRREPERABLY SCARRED. PHYSICALLY, MENTALLY, KAT IS NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO SUFFERS FROM THIS!

and the best part of it is that some of it is her fault

[primalsouls]

white rabbit pt 4

langa hasegawa x gn! reader (pt 1 - pt 2 - pt 3)

anon: will white rabbit have a part 4? ( if yes pls pls give them a happy ending hehe ) but its oki if you dont want to, no pressure! i just really enjoyed it and i love ur writing btw :)

⚠️ : im terrible at picking up what's a trigger, so let me know is there's anything uncomfortable!

theme: general

note: ooh my heart 💔 rip white rabbit 🐇🙏🕊 anyway, here's pt 4! :> i hope you like it and enjoy it! and thank you for reading! let me know what you think. :) i really like this chapter the most lol

≫ ──── ≪•◦ ❈ ◦•≫ ──── ≪

"Leave... Wonderland?"

"Forever?"

Reki and Langa stared at Adam with frowns on their face. Eyes widen at the words. Whispers surrounded them quick, destroying the small silence that gave the words to settle in for everyone. Blue eyes looked back at the [h/c]-haired skater. Their head still hanged low but he could see the sheer rage their fists held.

"He's saying that... [Y/N] [L/N], the White Rabbit, is leaving S." Miya repeated.

"Forever. Meaning.... They're kicked out." Shadow sighed, shaking his head.

Hearing those words, [Y/N] gritted their teeth and unclenched their fists. They looked up at Adam, a pleading expression on their face as they pulled their hoodie back.

"P-please... I don't wanna leave." They said, voice cracked in the beginning. Langa's heart broke at the sight. But before he could do anything, Adam walked up to them. "I'll do anything, please. Let me stay!" They continued but they flinched when their board was taken away from them harshly by Adam.

"A bet is a bet. Besides, it's about time S gets rid of its pests." Adam grinned. He snapped his finger, a couple of men bringing in a can of gasoline and a box of matches. Their eyes widen. Langa and the rest of his friends stood frozen, unable to believe the scene before them. Silence took over the crowd. [Y/N] knew they couldn't do anything to stop Adam from destroying their skateboard. "You should have won and this wouldn't happen. Remember, it's your fault." He said quietly. And with sheer power, he lifted the board and broke it in half with his knee. [Y/N] stared at him with wide eyes and mouth gaped slightly in shock. Tears pooled up and streamed down their cheeks one by one, one after the other.

"N-no... please, don't..." They whispered, a hand reaching out weakly but it didn't move much. [Y/N] was too shock to move any more than an inch.

Adam threw the broken board on the ground. He was handed the gasoline and the box of matches. He poured the liquid over the pieces, his masked eyes never leaving his younger sibling's face. Their look of terror filled him with chills. He loved it. Such as he loved the finish touch to the punishment. With elegance, Adam pulled out a match and stroke it on the igniter side of the box. Fire bursts on the matchstick. Adam flicked it onto the broken board like it was nothing and within seconds, flames burst to life, consuming the skateboard.

Langa watched with horror. [Y/N] didn't deserve that. They didn't deserve to leave. A bet wasn't even established. So, why? Why was this happening? His eyes went up to [Y/N].

"White Rabbit-"

"They're no longer go by that title." Adam interrupted coldly. "By losing this beef, no only are they banned from S, their title is no longer theirs to claim. White Rabbit is dead." Langa's eyes widen as his frown deepened. He couldn't believe it. This was not supposed to happen. Not supposed to lead to this results. No one supposed to be kick out or strip from their title. Adam reached a hand out. Langa saw how tensed [Y/N] got as the hand grew closer to them. The gloved fingers gently held into the S pin. It was on their collar of their hoodie but the next second, it wad ripped off from them. He threw it into the flames.

"I... I'm sorry..." [Y/N] apologized. Langa didn't understand. There was nothing to apologize for. Was it for Adam? For losing the race and everything they built for themselves? [Y/N] kept staring at the board, not noticing Adam turned his back on them. But his last words lef them in breaking in pieces.

"And don't bother coming home. A wild animal like you don't belong there. Never had and never will." As his final saying, Adam picked up his board and walked away but stopped to face Langa with a smirk. "Oh, and once again, my dear SNOW, congratulations." Langa blinked, watching Adam disappeared from everyone's sight.

"Damn..." Shadow muttered.

"Vanished from S... what a turn of events." Miya commented quietly.

Reki frowned at Adam's disappearing figure before he turned to Langa and [Y/N]. Everyone else slowly departed. Reki walked up to the two skaters, the broken board still caught in flames. Tears continued to spill from their eyes, Reki saw. Before the two could say any sort of comfort words to them, [Y/N] turned away from them and ran, ran as fast as they could. Away. They needed to get away and breathe. They couldn't breathe properly. Their chest was killing them. Sobs caught in their throat when they tried to cry. It hurts them. Their heart hurts. Everything was always their fault. They deserved. They believed they deserved it. They weren't a Shindo. They were a pest in the family. That was why Adam-no-Ainosuke told them not to come home. He was kicking them out. He was probably make up a lie to their aunts to make it seem it was their decision. For the better of the Shindo Family, they would say.

Life truly wasn't fair.

"C'mon, let's go!" Langa said, getting ready to chase after them but Reki grabbed his arm, pulling him back. He winced, the grip on his arm reminded him of the injuries he received during the race. "Wha- what? We have to go after them, Reki." He said, pointing towards [Y/N] running off.

"But you'll hurt even more with injuries like this. Besides, it's not our business. What happened with them was between them and Adam." Reki said. Miya nodded as he walked up to them.

"He's right, Langa. We should stay out of it. They're no longer of importance." Miya added in, crossing his arms over his chest. Langa frowned at the two boys.

"It's probably not the best time to even go after them. It's best that we mind our own business for now." Shadow advised, the other two boys giving affirmative responses. Langa tried to come up with reasons to go after them, but Reki shook his head and led Langa awau from the factory, pointing out the cuts once again. That was the last time Langa saw [Y/N].

The past couple of weeks, they were no were in sight. No familiar white hoodie resembling a white rabbit was found around S. No one spoke about them. It was like they never existed in the first place. As if S never heard of a skater called White Rabbit. Langa tried to find ways to get into contact with them but whenever he mentioned them, he was ignored, shut down, avoided. He was worried for them, for their safety. If Adam truly meant his words, then where would [Y/N] be? Langa wanted to make sure they were okay. That was all he wanted to know.

"[Y/N]... where are you?" Langa muttered as he walked through the park. He was planning to meet Reki at their usual hangout. Although, he wanted to clear his mind out of [Y/N] and the events that occurred. It wasn't their fault. It was his. If he never beef against them, Langa would had still see them every night at S, even from a fair distance to admire them. They would still be in his life, somehow.

"Ah, sorry..." A tired voice said. Langa looked down, not realizing he bumped into someone. He did felt something hit him as he walked, but he didn't pay too much attention. Langa opened his mouth to apologize instead but words were caught in his throat. His eyes widen. He couldn't believe it. The board in his hand dropped to the ground beside him, both hands reaching up a bit.

"It's you..." Langa whispered. Confusion replaced the apologic gaze on their face. "White Rabbit." When the title left his lips, it was their turn for their eyes to grew wide. Langa smiled brightly. "It's you, White Rabbit. [Y/N]." Langa was happy. He found his white rabbit once more. But no more words left Langa's lips as a hand slapped his cheek. It took him a second to register the outcome. A shaky hand of his reached to touch the burning cheek. He flinched when his fingers came into contact. "Wh-what?" A handprint appeared as a light red shade on his cheek. His eyes focused on them. They didn't wore their signature hoodie. Only a black one with dark blue jeans and white Vans shoes. Their eyes were still the same crimson color but filled with anger. And sadness? Langa parted his lips, unable to say anything.

"Don't call me that name. Because of you, I'm no longer.... that..." [Y/N] spat out, glaring dangerously at Langa. "You took everything away from me. You ruined my life!" They yelled, all the feelings they tried to bottle in exploded. Langa watched with a shook expression as they ranted off on him. He may be dense to others' emotions but he could pick up the hurt in [Y/N]'s voice. The way they trembled with rage. He didn't like that. Langa didn't like seeing them upset. Especially when hd was the one who caused it.

"I'm sorry."

[Y/N] paused, staring at Langa with wide eyes. Their frown grew deeper as they tried to find any sort of pity or joke in his baby blue eyes. In which they felt like they were looking at the ocean. So blue. Like the sky. [Y/N] shook their head rapidly, gritting their teeth.

"Oh, shut up. I don't need your pity. And I doubt you're sorry! Because of you, not only was I kicked out of S, I was kicked out of my home... Not like it ever felt like home anyway..." They said, mumbling the last words but Langa caught them.

"Wait? Home... Where were you staying at?" Langa asked, voice filled with concern. [Y/N] scrunched their nose, eyes narrowed. "I swear, I'm not pitying you. I'm actually... worried. I've been worried for a long time now. Ever since you left S." Langa said, looking away from them, sudden feeling timid for no particular reason. They raised a brow, watching Langa's movements to fact-check his worries. There was no hint of him lying. But they still kept their guard up. "I even asked around back in S for the past few weeks. Not one single person said anything...It's like you-"

"-never existed." They continued for him softly, eyes casted down to the ground. Their features relaxed but Langa noted the sadness stayed. No anger in sight. They sighed tiredly, running a hand through their hair. "Doesn't matter... Just stop it." [Y/N] crossed their arns over their chest, raising a brow. "Beside, the hell you kept asking about me? Aren't you happy I've been kicked?"

Langa shook his head right away once the question next their lips.

"No. I'm not happy. In fact, I..." Langa took a deep breath, trying to think on his words before they left his mouth. "I'm not enjoying myself." He mumbled, making [Y/N] take a step closer to hear him properly. They tilted their head, lips tugged down a bit as they urged him to repeat himself and keep going. "It makes me sad not to see you at S anymore. I didn't want any of that to happen. I didn't even know what was going on." Langa shrugged, looking at them with a pout. A pout they found adorable. He looked like a kicked puppy who didn't like the fact their owner left their home everyday. [Y/N] mentally cringed at the thought. What were they thinking? This was the same guy who went up against their brother and banned them from S. They hated him. They were supposed to hate him. [Y/N] clicked their tongue, throwing Langa off the sense, wondering if he said anything wrong. A faint red hue decorated their cheeks. They turned their back on him, hugging themselves.

"Whatever. Whether you knew what was going on or not, doesn't matter. My board got destroyed and I can't go back to S. Everything happened..." [Y/N] whispered, arms slowly fell back to their sides as they watched the sun beginning to settle down for the rest of the day. "I've got nothing... I've got no one-"

"You got me." Langa butt in. The words made them do a double take on him. It caught them off guard. And Langa continued to surprise them. A determined glint in his eyes as he stepped closer. "Reki can build you a new board and we can all skate. Together. We can skate outside of S, anyway. It'll be fun!" Langa bounced a bit in his steps, smiling brightly. "We can hang out together. And if you don't have a job, you can work with Reki and me. You even move in wi-"

"Stop..."

"We can go to school togeth-"

"Stop it."

"You got us! So, you don't have to wor-"

"Shut up!"

Langa blinked, taken back by the sudden outburst from [Y/N]. He focused back on them, confused why they told him to quiet down. Their brows knitted down, hands clutched by their side. The sunset shoned behind them. The soft breeze brushed against their figure out. And if Langa squinted, he could had notice their faint blush reddened slightly. They looked cute. He wanted to see them blush again.

"Just... why are you doing this?" They asked, their eyes looking anywhere but Langa. They were shy. They found it unbelievable but it happened. They were shy.

Langa stared at them for a moment, making [Y/N] nervous.

"Because I like you."

Those words froze [Y/N] on the spot. Their eyes widen, lips parted slightly. The words ran through their mind like an echo. Langa's charmed smile implanted with it.

"And I want to be your friend."

Impossible.

"That's..." [Y/N]'s face was burning up. Cheeks redder they matched their eyes. "That's stupid." They blurted out quickly, taking a step back. Langa frowned a bit, not unexpecting that sort of answer to his confession. A confession they weren't sure if they were happy about or sadden by it.

"No one wants to be my friend. No one likes me... That's what they always told me." [Y/N] took another step back, brows knitted down but not in anger but in sorrow. Every step they took back, Langa takes one forward. "I'm unlovable... I don't... deserve it." The young former skater shook their head, as if snapping into reality. Tears welled up on their eyes. "You don't like me. You don't. You don't, you don't, you don't, you don't," They repeated quietly, hugging themselves as the tears rolled down their cheeks. Langa panicked. He didn't wanted to upset them. What they said made him wonder who told them such statements. They trembled and he didn't know what to do.

Except for one thing. And he hoped he don't get slap doing so.

Arms wrapped around their frame, a hand on their head as the other rest on their lower back. The hand stroke their head as the other ran their back in a circular form. Langa closed his eyes, hugging [Y/N] closed to him.

"Shh... shh... It's okay, [Y/N]..." He whispered. "Whoever told you those things, they... they don't know what they're talking about." Langa took a deep breath. "But I'm telling the truth. And you do deserve it." He pulled away a bit, cupping their face with his hands and made them looked at him. "I like you. I like you very much. And even though I want to be more, I do want to be your friend." Langa smiled genuinely, blue eyes staring into red ones. "So, please... let me be your friend."

[Y/N] stared at Langa, stunned in his embrace. The blush darkened as Langa continued. They couldn't believe it. Their heart pounded little by little with every word Langa spoke. The hands on their face felt nice. The comfort hug was something they never experienced. They only got hurt by the hands of those who dared say they loved them. But, for whatever reason, they trusted Langa's words.

"Please... don't hurt me..."

[wokestraightpuffy]

Hallo, i hope you are alright and that my ask aren’t annoying but I wanted to ask do you have any c!puffy headcannons? —🤡

YOURE NOT ANNOYING AT ALL !!! NEVER THINK THAT ILU VERY MUCH. MUAH /p

as for c!puffy headcanons, i am not the best person to ever organize their thoughts properly but ill try my best >:’D

ahaha. this got. super complex and way too long and more of like an introspective study to puffy now instead of harmless fun headcanons so, uh. under read more <3 (also reminder this is all /rp and /dsmp)

* i like to think that she has a hero complex, but its a bit different since she never really sees herself as an ‘important’ part of the story, not the main character but a support one, hence ‘im fine with being the side character’ or how she’s said she doesnt care what happens to her and would gladly sacrifice(?) herself if there werent other people she had to protect. girl u need therapy urself <3

* though very open with how she feels and never afraid to say when someone/something is upsetting her, ‘opening up’ is still a whole mountain climb for her, apparently. like, she’d rant about the egg, get mad at the eggpire, let off some steam by committing arson or exploding stuff, she’ll rarely ever talk about how much the stuff that upset her actually HURT her. does that make sense? LIKE, she’ll lash out, she’ll get mad, she’ll take NO SHIT thrown at her face, but to show the kinda vulnerability of dealing with that? to cry about it talk about those feelings with someone? I think she’d rather eat her own foot lol

* adding onto the thing above, she doesnt necessarily actually realize this about herself. less of actively doing it and rather growing... used to the ‘cycle of violence’ in the smp as they call it. and the fact that rarely have people really asked, that no one’s actually available for that, w her losing her closest friends, bad and ant, sam being busy w the warden stuff... and niki. yeah. there’s foolish, but i doubt she’d ever see venting to someone she considers her son appealing

* also. puffy is just sometimes... really bad at conveying sadness. i think she’s a rare crier. id go as far to say that shes even more emotionally constipated than dream, lol (but maybe not while the guy’s in his prison arc) and that she’d be the type of person to tell you its okay to cry but beat herself up over something if she let a tear slip in a heated moment

* speaking of sadness. she’ll only ever actually Be Sad if she’s alone or with someone she doesnt necessarily care the opinions of. yknow how she mourned for tommy and blamed herself? those dialogue bits? yeah, those are only times shed actually be vulnerable

* puffy’s go to response to the egg and how its fucked up her relationship w her friends is pure fury. but, going off of her line about ‘failing bad and ant’ i like to think that she probably hates herself the most about it. THAT IS A STRONG WORD LOL BUT YEAH. she yells and curses and gets mad, but sometimes i wonder if the words she had spat before were more directed to herself

* THIS GIRL HAS SELF-IDENTITY PROBLEMS. CAN WE GET A HELL YEAH FOR THAT CHAT? outside of having no goddamn clue about where she came from, how she got here and who she even is, scrounging up a role for herself in a server with a war on the background and traumatized kids got her resignedly coerced into thinking that she is only a Parent. Only good enough when she’s actually doing something Useful for people. SO. when she finds that ship? of having a crew and having a curse? OF FINDING OUT SHE MIGHT HAVE/ HAVE HAD A MOM THATS WAITING FOR HER?  the sense of control she has on herself is absolutely crushed. shattered, and she’s left to pick up the pieces w no one to talk abt it with <3

* adding onto the above, it’s why the line ‘I’m supposed to be mama puffy. me.’ hurts me so much! so yes! please cry with me :D

* also to add more on the fact that she thinks she’s only worth something when she’s being useful, puffy literally contemplated leaving the server, thinking that it wouldnt matter leaving since no one really needs her anyway, since she’s failed so many people. bad and ant, tommy, dream. shes said how foolish can take care of himself on how tubbo and ranboo have each other, how she and niki have drifted so far away from each that it might as well be a break up.

HOOOOOOOOOO OBOY . anon youve really given me the perfect chance to ramble huh? sorry for the rather incomprehensible brainrot, here’s more lighthearted headcanons about puffy asdhfkd

* she cannot stand still sometimes. she always has to be doing something extra, walking when the prime path is right there? shed rather go through tedious little holes or hop and balance onto fences to get where shes going. she’ll mindlessly fix up the path when there are holes or mismatched wood, and one time went on a long, long LONG journey cleaning up the paths tommy purposely DESTROYED near lmanburg and even added cobblestone sidings which werent there before

* puffys a bit of a sentimental person. writing in her log to clear her thoughts sometimes and cared enough to try and preserve lmanburg with the glass sheet and trying to find possible surviving artifacts of history to respect it, even though she’s never been a part of it. its also why, when doomsday happened and lmanburg got permanently poofed, she began to appreciate the buildings that are still standing and began taking more pics 

* she’s not used to being... what do you call it, um, cared for? she’d deflect compliments sometimes, when shes having a particular bad day, like, she’d laugh nervously and change the subject, sometimes she’d outright deny it, most days she’d jokingly say ‘staphhh it’ and add a very genuine thanks. my point being is, do something for puffy that is mildly nice and she’d keep that moment in her heart forever. 

* also funny story regarding the above. u know how karl is notorious for stealing her materials? and how puffy was contemplating doing something in retaliation for them? karl says hi for once when she joins the server and she goes ‘alright fine youre safe for saying hi’ LOL THIS WAS PROBABLY A BIT META WISE but something about this implying that the bare minimum or LESS is enough to make puffy forgive someone is very sad and funny at the same time for me. girl really said ‘oh you said hi to me? thats nice all the crimes youve ever done towards me is now forgiven. <3’ (this is a bit of an exaggeration on my part, ofc, i just think its funny LMAO) 

* ironically, despite being the ‘captain’, whenever riding a boat with someone, she prefers being on the backseat and letting them drive. ig shes just there for the ride i suppose, her and her uber drivers :3

 * she either has a rather unhealthy obsession with baked potatoes or she just doesnt wanna waste eret’s massive potato farm

* idc what cc!puffy says is c!puffy will always and forever be 5′2″ in my HEART. u are the shortest member, u cannot change this <3

* shes really fond of animals/ neutral mobs. she often baby talks to them and they help boost her mood a lot when shes having a bad day :D

* up to this day, the little secret rooms she’s created around the server have all been yet to be discovered, unless the one under bad’s house has been found. she rarely ever really keeps tabs on them, and more often than not they are just collecting dust. she still visits sometimes and cleans them up ofc

* she still genuinely thinks dream can change. cc!puffy’s line about that, ‘i’m his last hope.’ really makes me think about this a lot. 

* ive seen people talk abt it a bit but the headcanon that puffy acts as the server mom to fill the ‘void’ of her missing her mom makes me cry at night /hj

* she really likes her rainbow onesie! i headcanon that eret gave her that along w the sunglasses, but she started wearing that less when she found her old captains uniform. shes never really said why, though, and nobody ever really bothered to ask

* god bless this woman but sometimes the server members get on her nerves sometimes so she goes out of her way to traverse along far away from the main community to maybe commit a few crimes. let off some steam. these take a few days but she always returns

i probably have a lot more hcs but i cant remember them >_> THIS IS A LOT ANYWAY. HOPE U ENJOYED MY BRAIN VOMIT. IF U READ THIS FAR ILU THANK U

if there are mistakes it is bc i am crying and cannot see my keyboard and also i am sleep deprived /hj

[thesacredtwink]

(hi its fox, cant use emoji since im on computer lol) im a bit upset and have a really bad headache now, so im gonna take a break but before i do leave: i just wanna say thanks to all my friends on here for being so kind.. ive sorta been going through a rough time lately and u guys rlly cheer me up <3 anyways, i might not be on for the rest of the night so theres that ig :c sorry for the little rant, bye Nick!! :>

🦊 (<-your fox emoji for you)

Hey, you never need to be sorry Fox! I (and I know the others) are happy to be here for you, and you have been here for me too.

And you are more then welcome, my friend. It's the least we can do to say thank you for being such an amazing person.

Take care of yourself, Fox. Head aces suck, and you deserve some rest 💖♥️💗💓❤️

[doegirldaydreamerarchived]

Diary entry #4 - 23/01/25-26/01/25

Sooo girls to be so real w u rn this is just gonna be one biiiig yap session bc honestly i dont usually do much over the weekends.. except for this one apparently i totally cooked omg.

Firstly thursday whihc i only have one thing to say abt bc it was ages ago and erm.. it sucks.. its alr the day im writing this is a good one so i get to yap abt that in a sec.

Anyways basically i got out early and i was waiting for my friend by the gate and this girl i know was walking by and i thought she waved at me so ofc i waved back. But then she was acc waving at her bf behind me and she and the girl she was with (who doesnt like me) started like leaning over and giggling and shit. Now firstly i hadnt had any interactions at all w that girl in months and honestly she started talking more in lessons n stuff and honestly i like.. this is gonna be super weird to say but i thought she was changing. And as weird as it sounds i was honestly kinda disappointed. Like ofc it was embarrassing but also.. damn i thought u were becoming a better person but alright.. also i thought i was kinda friends w the girl she was talking to be she used to be so sweet and just.. damn. Like i used to have a little crush on her for a while bc she was rlly sweet and i didnt get why people didnt like her and called her two faced but erm. Yeah i get that now. And its so weird bc shes sorta used to be friends w my friends so sometimes she comes up and she still talks to me and its like.. yeah no thanks. Like idk why i would want to talk to u when ik ur friend hates me and u dont either a) tell me or b) shut it down or at least c) dont laugh damn.

Also another weird thing it made me realise that i kinda base beauty on how ppl treat me yk? Like i used to think she was really pretty but after that i just sorta dont. And ik it sounds bad but like.. i think its just bc my opinion on ppl changes based on how they treat me ofc. Also it was kinda relieving bc mentally ive always kinda valued looks over personality when dating bc if im not attracted to u i really dont wanna waste ur time w it yk? Bc beauty is subjective and js because your beauty isnt my version of it doesnt mean that should be your problem. But also i like find it hard to find even ‘ugly’ people not pretty and its nice to know im not like absolutely evil for caring abt how ppl look and its kinda sorta me just evaluating how they treat me yk?? Or maybe im an arsehole idk tbh..

Anywaysyyss onto fridayyy! So i acc didnt go to school that day.. and this was before my anxiety kicked in btw it was just there was a storm w really strong winds and neither me or mum wanted to go out in it (bc respectfully we would acc both get blown over the winds were that bad). Sooo yum i got that day off! Buut icl i just put on a chill fit and bedrotted. I dont even remember shit from friday except telling my mum like ‘yeah tbh i dont think ill have another day off this year’ GIRL. Thats why i never say shit like that ik i didnt but it feels like i jinxed it.. thats why im so scared of saying shit like that omgmgmg i have horrible timing.

Anyways then erm.. there was saturday which was! Not a good day at first! So basically when i got up in the morning the bathroom floor was wet and nobody told me so the clothes i brought to change into got wet and i had to put on a diff outfit. And bc my hair was greasy i decided to try and proper braid it bc i got close before and it would make me feel better. Spoiler it didnt bc i literally couldnt and i got soososo upset and frustrated over it. And then my stupid arse decided to look in a mirror after and (bc i was having a bad day) i thought i was gross and ugly aaannddd i cried over it. And ofc that spiralled into me ranting abt how dirty my house makes me feel sometimes and how fucking gross i felt and how it felt like nobody would ever like me which.. girl stfu giggle. Lordy typing this is depressing me anyways after that little episode i was like ‘ykw dont be a bitch if u dont like sumet do sumet about it’ so i started cleaning my room and guess what i fkn found. A like dirty old drawing id made when i was really little of my family. So ofc i bawled my eyes out over that. Literally like on and off crying for a solid hour icel that shit HIIT.

But then ofc the post breakdown urges kicked in and i was like fuck it and started completely clearing out my room. Like literally everywhere but under my bed and a set of drawers was completely cleaned out and i now have a bag of stuff to get rid of in my room. Also tiny side rant this is totally first world spoilt bitch problems but whenever my mum washes my clothes for me she piles them on top of that bag like. Two days ago i was weeping about how digusting my room was idec if you just shove it in my wardrobe just PLS let me LIIIVVEE </3

Okay anyways bitching over i spent like the entire of saturday clearing out and thank fuck i acc completely finished it. Like theres still some mess but tbh fuck that shit rn wait until my next breakdown pls.

Andnnd guess what i did on sundayy.. actually i was gonna say bedrotted but i kinda didnt? Like icel my hair was so fucking greasy that it basically slicked itself back so obvi i couldnt be seen in public but when i got up i acc like didnt go on my phone and i meditated and i did a fkn workout. It was like a 10min dance workout but girl thats better than like.. ever idk giggle. And even tho i barely did shit other than play pokemon it was acc kinda a good day. Tbh a win to mee!!

Andd.. okay maybe that was a bit less rambly than i expected bc i barely did anything but overall the weekend was sorta a winn!

Rue, signing out 𓂃۶ৎ

[whoreforfanfiction]

They Confess Their Feelings (Mystic Messenger Preferences)

Yoosung

- you two would have to be friends for a while before he felt ready to confess his feelings

- of course, he’s talked to Zen countless times about you already, but never took his advice on telling you how he felt

- at least once a week you were at his house 

- and at least once a month you went out for dinner (which he always insisted on paying for, even though you knew it drilled a hole in his pocket)

- basically, you two spent a majority of your time together

- your favorite was when you’d spend the entire day at his house playing a video game marathon

- you got to spend the most time with him during those

- today though, you two were just sitting on the couch, talking about the new professor that hates him 

- “He’ll come around and see how fun you are,” you commented trying to cheer his sad face up. 

- An immediate blush rose to his pale cheeks

- “You think I’m fun?” he said sheepishly while scratching the back of his neck

- “Of course, silly. Why else would I hang out with you all the time? You’re my favorite person to be around,” you admitted. 

- he knew this was his moment and he tried to remember what Zen had told him to say

- they rehearsed it a million times, but his memory was failing him horribly

- he stumbled around trying to find words to return you with but he eventually just blurted out “I like you!” 

- you were shocked into silence for a second, and he took it the wrong way

- “S-shit forget I said that,” he tried to recover but you had already heard those 3 majestic words

- “No no I like you too! You shocked me there for a second,” you giggled and you pulled him into a shy kiss on the cheek

Zen

- really not shy about his feelings at all

- super self-confident, which is one of the things you liked most about him

- you were friends for a few months and after sharing conversations with you, he knew you were the one

- confided in Yoosung about his feelings since those two are like brothers

- Yoosung knew you liked Zen back

- he said it was a “vibe” he had picked up during your encounters 

- and because you always asked for more selfies in the messenger

- and today, Zen decided he was going to change your friendship and make it something deeper and more meaningful

- you were scheduled to come over to marathon a TV show you both enjoyed

- Zen made sure the scene was set

- he had popcorn, your favorite drink, cozy blankets, tissues for when you cried about characters dying

- really tried to play out every single situation in his head and plan around it 

- when you came over, he made sure you were more than comfortable

- after you two finished your marathon session, you were both somewhat drowsy

- and drowsy conversations lead to deep talk times

- “I like being here with you,” you commented, “I feel safe here.” You cozied up more inside the blanket.

- this boy has never felt more complimented in his life

- “Yeah? Well, I like you!” he said with a slight chuckle that confused you

- “Like? Or like like?” you tried to clarify but ended up sounding like you were gossiping on the elementary playground

- he looked at you, dead in the eyes, “Like like, of course.” 

- “Hehe, I like like you too,” you said as he pulled you closer to his warm body

Jaehee

- very analytical and logical

- she had a theory that you liked her, based on your conversations, but was too scared to actually test it out

- she also knew she felt very strongly towards you 

- more than a friend

- she found herself checking her phone constantly to see if you texted her back

- often got in the way of her work and Jumin started to take her phone for some periods of time

- was in the chatroom CONSTANTLY just hoping you’d show up

- took her breaks when you did enter the chatroom

- you two called at least twice a week after she got off work so she could rant about how bad her day was

- today, you decided to surprise her with chocolates to ease her stress

- you hid behind her desk and jumped out when she came to sit down which did give her a mini heart attack 

- “SURPRISE!” you said as you whipped the chocolates out from behind your back

- her face was firetruck flaming red

- stuttered over her words a lot

- “I like you a lot Jaehee, homo intended, and I wanted to make sure you had a good day today,” you confessed hoping she reciprocated you feelings

- she pressed down her skirt and composed herself

- “I like you too, and I promise next time I will return your kindness,” she stated lovingly while grabbing the chocolates out of your hand

Jumin

- didn’t know what his feelings were for the longest time

- finally, he decided to talk to Zen about them since he is the king of feelings

- “You stupid heir!! You like her! Tsk it’s so sad you can’t even tell that” Zen scolded

- like? that was a new emotion and this one he enjoyed very much

- whenever he was around you, he got these feelings in his stomach and felt a burst of energy

- he was never sad or upset when he was in close proximity with you

- very inexperienced with relationships and didn’t know the best way to show you how much he cared about you 

- Zen also warned him not to throw his money at you because you might get scared off

- he was going to think of an old-fashioned nice way to show you he liked you, without using his money

-  watched lots of love movies to study up because he wanted this to be meaningful

- the common theme he deduced from all the movies was flowers and he happened to know a phenomenal florist

- was going to call, but remembered that he shouldn’t use his money

- walked around nature for a good 4 hours picking out all the flowers he thought you’d like

- tied them together with string to make a bouquet

- but how to deliver them? shipping them to your house would be easiest since you lived on the other side of the city, but he knew that wouldn’t be personal

- he also didn’t wanna arrive at your door in his limo or one of his expensive cars 

- he didn’t want it to come off as him flexing his wealth in an attempt to woo you

- so what did he do? he walked

- this rich boy walked 7 miles to your house

- which was fine until it started to rain

- you heard a gentle knocking at your door and rushed to let him in

- “You’re soaking,” you commented in concern as you ran to the bathroom to get him a towel 

- “I like you,” he got to the point and handed you the dripping bouquet

- you innerly squealed with happiness

- “I like you too!!” you said as you jumped and hugged him around the neck

- you tried to pull away after a second, but he held you there for a moment longer

- “I’m glad you like it,” he said exhausted then sat down on the couch

- drifted off to sleep not much longer aww poor baby

Saeyoung

- you two talked ALL THE MOTHER FUCKING TIME - hung out rarely because his house was a mess and didn’t want to expose you to Mary Vanderwood 

- but there wasn’t a moment where you weren’t texting or facetiming

- which pissed Vanderwood off 

- you face timed which he worked

- you two didn’t talk much during those times, but you appreciated having the company

- at night before bed though was when you two really talked

- he asked about your day and let you talk first

- you could tell he actively listened and truly cared about even the most mundane things that happened that day

- “When you went, did you get the barista you liked?” he asked knowing he hacked into their system to change that person’s hours to when he knew you’d be visiting

- “Yea! I’ve been having him more often now! I’m very happy and my tastebuds are happy too!” You were completely oblivious to his meddling and he thought it was adorable

- one night on facetime, you picked up an hour later then usual and he was upset

- “What’s wrong?” you asked after noticing he had been short with you

- “God dammit M/C I like you and this is the best part of my night! I hate when it’s delayed for one second, let alone an hour,” he complained not knowing he had just admitted his feelings towards you

- “Y-you like me?” you questioned back. you knew you heard him correctly, you just wanted to hear it again.

- “Damn it,” he swore just now noticing his slip up

- you were giggling over the phone

- “What?” he crankily asked, hating the situation thinking you didn’t return the feelings

- “I like you too my defender of justice,” you said while flashing him the biggest smile

- his heart got all warm and happy and all he did was sit and smile in silence for a while

IF YOU WANT ME TO ADD V AND SAERAN MESSAGE ME AND I’LL DO IT TOMORROW BUT IM TIRED RN

[cirilee]

i just found a text my browser had saved on a word count website, and i apparently typed it last november while being sad - i just wanna have a place to post it, and it explains why i was gone for most of may through november last year.

if you’re interested, u can read, it’s basically just a long long long vent and i wanna save it somewhere :’)

(and if you wanna, you can tell me what u think of the whole thing, maybe share if something like that happened to you too, because man, this whole thing was WEIRD for me)

bottom line is: i’m much better now and have way better friends then back then and in general, i’m a pretty happy person again^^

My parents and me had been fighting a lot the past years. I still love them. For a while though, it was just shouting matches between us. We weren't really speaking to each other throughout january 2019 until april 2019, so i wasn't informed by them that they were planning to mOVE OUT. And the place they wanted to move to only had enough space for 2 people. now my brother and me had 3 months total to find and finance our own flats. i was desperate. 2 months i unsuccessfully searched for a job or a flat or a way to make a deposit for said flat, without any saved up money. an old school friend offered to move out together. i only saw him once every month for group activities. he was nice, but we also had a bit of a history. 3 years ago he had acted kinda scummy and tried to get me to be his girlfriend because "he couldnt find anybody else” - ending in a "movie night with friends" that turned out to be a trap, where the only one spending the night was me because he only invited me. creepy. he apologized and i forgave him and we were chill and it was normal between us. i realize now, that i should have just left him out of my life at that point. but time was running out, so i gave in and asked myself "whats the worst he could do. i’ve known this person for 12 years and the he's part of my friend group" we set up basic rules, how we would pay for stuff, etc. .. we moved in. it seemed fine. then i noticed that he talked A LOT. and he wanted A LOT of attention. after a day of working on my diploma or working at my job, he would assert himself in my room and try to engage in smalltalk. i am not the hermit type. i engaged with him, i joined in on his conversation. but when i was already tired he wouldn't accept "i'm gonna go to sleep". there was always something else he needed to talk about. I was trying to make clear to him that i needed alone time too, but no matter how honest i was, the message either didn't seem to stick, or he'd get upset and start asking me if i hated him. With that, i could have kept up with in the long run. Then he started knocking on my door. even when it was already late and i already told him i was gonna go to sleep. Repeatedly knocking on my door. At some point he just opened the door. It was 1am. I pretended to sleep. I could hear him breathing, it sounded angry. He eventually closed the door. The next morning i confronted him. He argued it away as him trying to warn me that he was going to take a shower, so that i wouldn't use the bathroom. He started commenting on how i wasn't funny enough around him. in that friend group, i'm the funny one :c. but i cant keep up that energy 24/7 (this was supposed to be a home, not a free neverending standup act, for this one guy). that confused him. the next day he asked me if i had depression. My parents had given me a griller/toaster as a parting gift (there’s a backstory for that too but anyways) my flatmate ALSO had that same toaster. He demanded we make up our minds which one to keep. i didn't understand why this was important to him and i hated discussing this useless topic with him so i stored the toaster in my room. He repeatedly suggested i throw mine away (?). One evening i got hungry and decided i'd make myself a toast in my room. So i made some toast. Suddenly he bursts in. And he starts ranting. "why are you doing this are you CRAZY you cant TOAST in your own room thats DANGEROUS you're gonna start a fire, don't ever do that again, we have a KITCHEN for that. why don't you want to use the kitchen you cant just HIDE from me every day, this is OUR flat  and i want us to live TOGETHER!" He didn't stop talking and it overwhelmed me, so (this is embarrassing, but) i actually started crying and i turned away from him so i could try to control myself. and he just started babytalking me "awww its alright i didn't mean to scare you, but you see, you shouldn't have done that". he tried putting his arms around me, i told him to stop. "you need a hug right now" ...... i was so angry i think my brain might have short circuited because the next hour was me just acting the whole way through. i told him everything he wanted to hear. i was so sorry for almost burning the house down and made up some explanation that my parents were still making me sad, so i needed distance. The next big thing involved one of my best friends. she wanted to spontaneously go out for an evening. so i put on some pants and of course: HE appears in my room, asking where i'm going. i was surprised by the question and just answered "going out with Lina" he left it at that. then suddenly: "can i come too?" He threw me off with that question. Lina had said she needed some advice on personal stuff, so I said "no" because i didn't have a better answer. he got ANGRY. i explained. "Lina wants some privacy, i'm sorry" He starts arguing that Lina is just as much his best friend, and that he should be allowed to hear what she wants to say to me. Before i can reply he slams his door shut. "Don't even try to explain yourself", he says. I told my friend while meeting up with her and she began with the sympathetic "you should have said yes" and we argued about it and then she came out with this absolutely horrifying sentence: "you know how he is. you cant be *too* honest with him. he's sensitive. you need to lie to him so he doesn't get mad" it was as if i'd been splashed with cold water. i said i didn't agree with that. that that was actually unfair to HIM. nobody likes being lied to and treated less than. she called him, told him i was gonna apologize and he showed up with the angriest expression i ever saw in his face. he accused me of being depressed and that he now has the burden of my mental issues to bear. This he assumed because one night i told him about me dissassociating sometimes a few years ago. Then he wanted me to promise i would never leave him, because he's afraid i won't be able to pay my part of the rent. the crowning moment was my friend Lina mostly agreeing with him and both of them berating me for not having my life together because i still hadn't managed to find an open-ended contract job, only limited-time jobs. at the end he justified himself by saying he cant stand my parents phoning me. (at that point they had started calling me everyday and showed genuine concern ... i was trying to reform a bond with them) - apparently he resented that. he knew about my parents disciplining me with face slaps as a kid (when i was 9-11 yrs old) (they feel bad about it, and they they stopped doing it fairly early) in that moment my flatmate chose to tell me ..... (hoo boy i need to get ready to type this) .... "i'm concerned about you. if your father would ever beat you, i would beat him  to a bloody pulp" then he repeated "i would beat him/kill him" a few times, VERY agitatedly. it was scary and at that point i was numb. i didn't really respond, i just said "its fine" or something to that extent. the  thing that made me decide to move out (although certainly among many that followed that night) was this: one morning i informed him i was going to visit my parents that weekend. we had started talking again (as i mentioned before and i wanted to meet them without fighting for once). he says "but you're coming back, right". i say "of course don't be so nervous". i go to work. i get a LOT OF texts from him suddenly. i skim through it. he's mad about me calling him "nervous". i don't reply/read bc i am at work. Then he actually CALLS me. i don't pick up.  now i'm thinking: What is so  important, that he has to call me during work.  there's a 4 paragraph essay in my inbox. "watch your mouth", "you have no right to speak that way to me", "you should have more respect". he was mad i called him nervous. i responded that i don't have time to reply. he argued back. at one point i said "if i cant even call you nervous then i'm ACTUALLY gonna stay with my parents" he fiNALLY didn't reply to that. after a 10hour day i come home. i wanna shower. i go to my room, close the door and start undressing myself. of course, there's knocking on my door. i say "No" he flips out. i calmly tell him i'm only half dressed. he flips out even more, says i'm a horrible person who WANTS to fight because my "no" wasn't a good enough answer and i should have explained in full detail why he couldn't get in. he was actually SERIOUS. this was his reasoning for flipping out. he goes away. not even a minute passes by and he hammers his fist against my door again. "OPEN UP THIS TIME I *HAVE* TO COME IN" at this point i'm beginning to get kinda scared  so i say "come in" He comes in and says he needs me to disconnect with the wifi because he needs it for his work. i calmly say "ok" and disconnect my wifi. he goes away, leaves the door open. i stand up to go and close my door. HE ACTUALLY GOES AND PULLS AGAINST ME TO TRY TO PRY IT OPEN AGAIN. eventually he lets go and then he flips out FOR REAL. he starts screaming about how i'm a psycho, and that im crazy and awful and he has been nothing but nice and that he "saved" me and i haven't been thankful enough.

.... ..

yes, i was in a difficult position. but that flatmate arrangement was made on even ground. he had wanted to move out from his parents for years. i fled and left. called my parents, but they were miles away and laughed it off. i would have probably too. i called my friends. Lina offered to come and mediate. He continued screaming even with Lina there. It culminated with him roaring at me, pointing at the door saying "if you don't like how i treat you, there's the door, leave right now" with lina replying "don't say that, you NEED her money to pay rent!" it was awful, and an eye-opener. the next day, on the way to work, i decided i was gonna move out. and before i could tell him, i get a message from him (!). An ultimatum. he tells me i have 3 options. 1) leave immediately and take my stuff away within a week. i wouldn't have "pay any more than i've already payed" (it was the first day of that month and i had already payed my rent. nice) 2) stay for half a year, but immediately pay him something so that he knows i'll stay 3) stay indefinitely, but set up a " bevahiour contract" with him, so this "never happens again" i told him i'd take option 1 and then i stayed over at a friends house. then at a friends shared appartement. then at dormitary and soon i'm gonna move in with my younger brother. we've been estranged a bit but grown closer through this whole thing. now Lina and him are still friends and lina blames me for "everyone in our friend group" being mad at him. one of her first concerns, was that her birthday parties are gonna be weird now. i am completely done with her as well and don't want her in my life anymore. according to her, I left him with a rent he cant pay  and i should feel bad for that. except i dont. should i though?

[kumoriyami-xiuzhen]

Hakuoki SSL Cross Short Story Kazama “Hobby” Translation

Only one SSl Kazama Cross Short story left....also incoming rant at the bottom as I’m feeling freaking exhausted and annoyed.  -.-

Enjoy the translation... if you are able to. [lol yeah im also upset]

Hakuoki SSL Cross Short Story Kazama x Hobby

Translation by KumoriYami

Inoue: 3rd year class 3 students, hello. Although it no longer seems/may no longer be necessary to introduce yourself, give your name. I am the school cafeteria's Inoue. [cafeteria can be subsiituted w/ canteen, dining hall, etc.]

noue: Today's fifth period class/lecture is special, as I am in charge of it as the lecturer/as I will be your lecturer.

Inoue: Although wearing this is a bit embarrassing, nevertheless treat me kindly [alt: please take care of me].

Kazama: Ah. Unexpectedly having you come to teach class/teach this one [me], is a big deal. [Alt: I can't believe you've come to teach me, this is no small task/ this is not meant for someone without capability.] [not sure????]

Kazama: Hey, what is the contents of today's class/lecture? If it's too boring this one [I] will not spare you.

Inoue: Today I'll be teaching you how to write your resume. As third year students, you will face the opportunity/prospect/challenge of getting/going to university and getting jobs/getting a job, and I believe that there will be more opportunities to write resumes/ believe that the opportunities for writing resumes will increase.

Inoue: Therefore the school has decided to entrust me with sharing my knowledge with everyone/So the school has decided for me to give a lecture to everyone as someone with work experience.

Inoue: Next please prepare [take?] a blank resume. Discuss with your classmates and think about your strengths, and write them down in that column. [Probably meaning: Fill in the blanks]

Kazama: ——Full name: Kazama Chikage. Age: unknown. Specialties(/skills): there is nothing that this one/I cannot do.

Kazama: Next is hobbies.... Let's write down observing human behaviour. [I think?]

Inoue: Well, it turns out that Kazama's hobby is observing human behaviour. I believe/ I'm sure you have a lot of experience in observing human behaviour, [so] you can use these experiences as a highlight to introduce yourself/highlight in introducing yourself...

Kazama:......What are you talking about?

Inoue: Nn?

Kazama: Did you think that I would actually observe the common rabble? That's simply ridiculous. Kazama: To be my target of observation during the day and night [alt: at all times], [there is] only one person. [basically: There is only one person who has my interest at all times.]

Kazama: Right/That's right/correct,  that is my wife, Yukimura Chizuru, only this one person [only her]!

Inoue:............

Inoue: That is not calling observing human behaviour, [rather that] feels as if should belong to a more dangerous category/classification.....

Kazama: Almost forget. In the spouse [martial status] column draw [put] in a “〇”.

Inoue: You can't fake [a/your] resume......

----

i’m not sure if i’ll get to  finishing the cxm 2017 otomate party drama this month.... 

P.S. i’m going to rant now since i am 1000000000000000000000000000000% sick of the federal election news coverage. [sorry but this is how I cope. also i intend to vote and did watch the federal leaders’ debate]

I’m seriously fucking tired of hearing about the federal election that I will be voting in. I wish people would realize that regardless of how good it may be to have more money in your wallet, a point i will not argue against since money is a necessary resource for any country since economic activity is required to do anything, including investing in transitional and cleaner alternatives and technologies, but it will mean less than nothing if you don’t have a livable environment or air to breathe. The lack of understanding on this by the what-will-not-be-named c-party of Canada, especially aggravates me. If they really wanna scrap the carbon tax, that’s fine, but they seriously need an actual environmental plan that will do something aside from giving b.s. lip service. I mean, really, will any amount of money be enough if you can’t breathe? Just look at what air pollution has done to Asia.

I’ve always said and believed that if you don’t have your health, than you have nothing, but why does it seem that so many politicians seem to believe that money is like the only thing people should care for? The threat of climate change is very real, and it’s most direct impact on people as individuals will be through the air unless someone somehow don’t breathe in oxygen. Increased air pollution, and the subsequent drop in air quality has contributed to the deaths over 2 million people every year and ignoring this, which has gotten significantly worse due to increased global temperatures, is simply unacceptable.

It just feels like no one thinks long term about the environment in politics. No one seems to care or connect how global warming will actually have effect the economy. For the example of air pollution, increased sickness and diseases related to the increase in pollutants in the air will mean more people needing healthcare, which will in turn affect  the number of people actually contributing to the economy. With an already aging population, and one that is also shrinking, that also means less people contributing, and increased deaths or just people being unable to work as much since they either require care, will overall mean less money they can spend to support local economic activities, which will then result in the recipients of said money with less money to do the same thing and result in less economic activity overall, which therefore also means less economic growth, stability and prosperity, and less money to support those same social services that people will need to rely on as the demand for healthcare increases.    

*sighhhhhh* 

Seriously i could go on, but I’ll refrain from writing an essay right now... though I will say that I’ve done projects/speeches that were related to the the environment and climate change in some way for almost every single year I was in school since grade 4 and I do my best to follow news related to the environment so I do know what I’m talking about.

Anyway, this will probably be the only semi-political/semi-environmental rant I make before election day... and until next year... at least unless something seriously pisses me off after the election ends.