#im just so upset that none of my friends text me first like a fucking child

[cryptidscene]

Kinda wanna kill myself!!!!!!!!!

I KNOW nobody reaches out to me because im such a fucking Debbie downer. I KNOW that people don't ask how im doing because im always doing BAD ive been in a BAD PLACE ever since I moved out of my house and even before then!!!!!!!! I grew up in a bad place, all I know is a bad place!!!!!!!!! And no one wants to fucking hear me complaining anymore!!!!!!! I know im an annoying piece of shit!!!!!!!! I hope I make all this internet stuff and then I DIE!!!!!! At least then my life wasn't completely WORTHLESS

[sparklingchim]

summer playlist; m | jjk

pairing: jungkook x reader

word count: 4k

genre: hockeyplayer!jungkook, richgirlie!oc, college!au, fwb, brother's best friend

rating: 18+

warnings: semi public sex, blowjob, spanking, jk is truly obsessed w her <3, protected sex, nipple play, jk leaves a hickey n oc gets upset 🙄, spit, dirty talk, his necklace dangling in her face 😋, jk's rejection count: TWO !!!!, pls someone hug him 🫂, fingering, clit play, groping

summary: pov: jungkook dedicates a cute playlist to you and fucks you to it on the balcony.

a/n: ur honour i was forced to write this don't come for me !!! 👉🏼👈🏼 enjoy the filth 😋

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

One of your favourite forms of self-care and relaxation is Pilates.

You love dressing up in your cute gym wear sets – you own countless of them, even though you never actually work out in the gym; they’re purely for the aesthetics – and grabbing a big water bottle along with your laptop for at least half an hour dedicated me-time.

It’s a bright morning and you’re on the balcony. The sun is gently warming the air as you’re following a Pilates video on your laptop, which is propped up on the couch. Jungkook’s playlist, the one he created just for you, is playing softly in the background, providing the perfect soundtrack without drowning out the instructor’s voice.

Truly, nothing can beat these types of mornings.

But of course, something had to interrupt your peace.

While you’re on your hands and knees, your phone vibrates next to the mat. You ignore it the first few times, but it keeps buzzing. With an annoyed huff, you grab it and unlock the screen.

Jungkook’s spamming you with numerous messages.

Jungcock 😋

hi

morning

watchu up to

im taking a run in the park

and im boored

are u up?

entertain me

You

omg did you change your contact's name again

stop doing that

how can you text and run?

He doesn’t reply. Instead, he calls you on FaceTime.

“How many times do I have to tell you?” Jungkook says in a raspy voice, the screen shaking a bit as he runs his miles around campus. “I’m good at everything I do.” His tight black tee clings to his chest, displaying his big pecs. You feel your breath hitch and you’re not sure if it’s from your workout or the sight of him.

“Your ego, Jungkook,” you reply, shaking your head in disbelief. “Too big.” You set your phone down with an exasperated sigh, leaning it against the feet of the couch. His eyes drift down to your cleavage.

“I think my ego is perfectly fine. Flashing his dimples as you roll your eyes at him. “What are you doing?” he asks, sounding a bit breathless – so hot, but you brush it off. You’re a strong girl, after all.

“Was doing Pilates until you rudely interrupted me,” you say skipping back on the YouTube video and picking up where you left off. “Don’t you have other girls to entertain you?”

“None of them are as cute as you,” he replies smoothly, and you can’t help but wish he wouldn’t be so good at flirting. “You look hot in that fit.”

“Thanks.” You follow the instructions on the screen. It turns out to be a bit harder to focus with a sweaty, ruggedly handsome Jungkook right beneath it.

“Are you listening to my playlist?”

“Yeah,” you admit, smiling.

Your thoughts wander back to the time Jungkook made that playlist for you. You had told him you never really listened to playlists, just played one song and let the auto-play feature do the rest. He was so stunned by that revelation that he spent an afternoon creating a cute little summer playlist just for you.

“Good choice,” he grins, clearly pleased with himself.

“I actually really like the playlist.”

“Of course. I make the best playlists,” he boasts, and you can’t help but chuckle at his confidence.

An exhausted sigh escapes your lips. After finishing the set, you change into the child pose and take deep breaths, relaxing the muscles.

“Taehyung’s at his morning class?” he asks.

“Uh-huh.”

“Can I come over?”

You lift your head to look at the screen. He’s running at a more leisurely pace, looking even more irresistible.

“Like, right now?”

“Yeah.”

“But I’m busy,” you argue, teasing him with a thoughtful pout. On the screen, the instructor announces that the little break is over, and you should get ready for your next set, but you’re not listening anymore. What’s happening on the little screen in front of you is far more enticing.

“Busy, huh?” he mocks with a smirk. “Maybe I can help you with what you’re doing.” His eyes light up with excitement as he pushes his hair from his forehead. “Or you wanna get busy together?”

Unfortunately, it seems you’re not as strong a girl as you thought. You’re very weak. His teasing question, coupled with his wicked tongue grazing his lip piercing, has you weak in the knees. You want nothing more than him on the couch and you straddling him.

“I won’t take up too much of your time,” he promises, the sweet smile back on his face. “Unless you want me to.” He raises an eyebrow teasingly.

“Just come over,” you tell him with a hint of irritation.

Jungkook has the audacity to chuckle, and you frown at him.

“Be quick, or I’ll change my mind.”

~

“Hi.” Jungkook pokes his head out from the balcony.

You squeal, placing a hand over your chest.

“Jungkook!” you exclaim. “What happened to ringing the bell like normal visitors?”

“Why did you give me the passcode then?” he retorts cheekily, ogling the snug fit of your gym wear.

“Because I had severe cramps and didn’t wanna get up from the couch.”

Thinking back on that specific day, you feel a spark of giddiness bloom in your chest. You had gotten your period, were battling atrocious cramps, and top of it, you had run out of pads. With Taehyung not home and needing them urgently, you knew Jungkook was always quick to reply to your texts. So, you decided to ask him if he could pick up some pads for you.

Twenty minutes later, he showed up at your door not only with the pads but also with snacks. You could see the faint pink flush on his cheeks when he asked, “Girls like eating chocolate when they’re on their period, right?” and hesitantly handed you the snacks.

And then, you did something that still makes you ponder at night – you cuddled without having had sex before. Oddly enough, it felt more intimate than any sexual encounter. Granted, you did get up to some naughty things afterwards, but still. Jungkook had cuddled you through your cramps and even endured watching reality tv shows he claims to despise once again.

“Well, I didn’t wanna disrupt you.” Jungkook walks over to the couch. He grabs your laptop, settles down, and places it on his lap. “Not now, anyway.”

You shift to sit on your knees. Briefly glancing at the screen where the instructor does the next set of exercises before drifting to Jungkook’s smitten face. His skin glistens with a thin sheen of sweat, and his chest still rises and falls a bit faster than usually.

You nod towards him, eyes clinging to his muscular thighs that peek out from his shorts. “How am I supposed to focus when-” When you look like that. But the words catch in your throat.

Jungkook is so shamelessly cocky, he places his hands behind his head. “When what?”

You sigh in irritation, close the video, and slide the laptop off his lap and onto the couch. He opens his legs for you. “Forget this,” you huff, placing your hands on his knees. Jungkook leans in, crashing his lips onto yours, his hand cupping your face.

The kiss is needy and messy. He teases you with his tongue, and you playfully respond until he tugs on your bottom lip with his teeth, causing you to moan and lose yourself in the feeling of his mouth. In less than a minute, Jungkook has you completely pliant in his embrace.

The balcony is surrounded by tall privacy screens and partially shaded by a large canopy, providing privacy from prying eyes.

Your hands slide up his legs, underneath his shorts. You feel his thighs flex on your palm and you squeeze them back in response.

“Wanna feel your mouth,” Jungkook whispers against your lips, sighing in pleasure when you just barely graze your fingers against his cock that strains against the material of his briefs.

Jungkook impatiently pulls down his shorts and briefs and you help him. His cock springs out and stands prettily against his abdomen. Your mouth waters and you have to tell yourself to calm down – he's just a boy and you’re too whipped.

You spit on his cock and coat his length with it. You twist your hand as you slowly pump him and he grows even harder within your grasp, becoming veiny and heavy. You stick out your tongue and give him a few licks over his tip. Jungkook sharply inhales, a gentle moan following right after when he sees you tapping his dick against your tongue.

“Fuck, babe.” He takes his cock in his own hand and continues tapping his head against your tongue. He runs his tip across your mouth too, watching with keen, clouded eyes as he creates a little mess on your face. When he’s finished, he lets you grab his cock again. You wrap your lips around his dick and start bobbing your head up and down.

“That’s right,” he says, brushing your hair behind your ear. His eyes close as you take him deeper into your mouth and his head falls back. With his palm on the back of your head, he presses your head down. A curse flees his lips as almost his entire length vanishes into your mouth.

Jungkook forces his eyes open and moans at the sight of your mouth full of his cock. He loves watching you suck his cock and you love hearing him moan for you.

You’re a little breathless when you release his cock with a lewd pop sound, and your eyes a bit teary too. You stroke his dick and dip down to suck on his balls.

“So good. Fuck – you know what to do,” he mumbles like he’s drunk and you giggle at his comment.

“You like that?”

“So fucking much.” His hand caresses your head, so soft at handling you, but the way desire pinches his brows together shows how much he is struggling to restrain himself from just shoving his entire length down your throat. “Come here.” His tatted hand glides down your shoulder, pulling you up onto his lap.

He squeezes your ass and delivers it a little smack. “You’re so hot.” He peeks over your shoulder, watching the supple flesh fill his hands completely.

“How can you claim to be an everything guy when you’re clearly an ass guy.”

Jungkook takes offense at that. “I am an everything guy!” His hands quickly move to your breasts and he kneads them through your sports bra. “I love your tits just as much.” The tight material presses them snugly together. “I love every part of you.”

You feel a gentle warmth in your cheeks, but you laugh it off. “That is so playboy behaviour of you, Jungkook.”

A frown spreads on his face, lips puckering the slightest bit. “I’m no playboy,” he grumbles as he plays with your tits. Planting little kisses along your neck as if to add sincerity to his words.

You push his arms away and try to stand up, but Jungkook quickly pulls you back onto his lap, firmly gripping your waist.

“Where are you going?” he asks, his tone almost scolding. You grasp his wrist, but he doesn’t let go, his hands remaining firmly in place.

“Condoms,” you remind him. He lets out a quiet, muffled “oh”, and his grip loosens with a reluctant sigh. “’Cause, you know. We hook up with other people.”

Jungkook scoffs at your remark.

“What?” Tilting your head slightly. “I saw you with Nayeon at the party.” You try to sound as least huffy as you can.

“And you fucked Eunwoo,” he counters.

You actually didn’t – you just made out with him. You deliberately chose a spot so Jungkook could see you from the couch, with Nayeon clinging to his side, just because you wanted him to see you.

“So?”

Jungkook levels you with a piercing gaze but remains quiet. He gives your butt a pat and nods towards the balcony door. “Go get the condom.”

When you fetch a condom from your room and return to Jungkook, you see saliva dripping from his lips and he lubes himself up as his pretty fingers wrap around him and stroke his cock. He looks unfairly hot doing the filthiest things.

“Bend over my lap,” he instructs when you hand him the condom, but he ignores it and drops it next to him.

He helps you settle onto his lap, your tummy pressed against one of his thighs and your ass in the air. Jungkook rolls the tight fabric of your shorts over your ass. He flicks your panties aside and groans at the pretty sight in front of him. Wet pussy peeks out from between your soft thighs.

His finger swipes across your pussy. “So wet for me. Can’t wait to have my dick in your pussy, huh?” He rubs your arousal over your pussy, spreading your folds to spit and make an even bigger mess. He’s having so much fun teasing and rubbing you, playing a little with your clit and dipping the tip of his finger inside you.

“Jungkook,” you whine, looking over your shoulder. “We don’t have that much time.”

“Sorry.” He circles your hole with two fingers and plunges them deep inside you. “Better, princess?” he asks after you choke on a moan, mocking you with fake sympathy.

“Yeah, better.” The words roll off your tongue in a soft whisper. Jungkook curls his fingers and your eyes roll involuntarily. “So good.” His other hand rolls the plump flesh of your ass around his palm, sometimes squeezing and leaving his fingerprints on your skin.

He’s fast in figuring out a rhythmic way to move his fingers that instantly unfurls pleasure all over your body. Jungkook knows your body all too well; he has perfected the art of knowing what you like the most.

It makes you think back to high school when you had the biggest, silliest crush on him and wanted nothing more than his attention. Who could blame you? Your older brother’s hot best friend was the captain of the school’s hockey team and practically lived at your house.

Of course, developing a crush on him was inevitable. But you never showed him that you found him cute – you treated him like your older brother’s annoying best friend who was always around. Bickering was just the nature of your friendship. Sometimes, you’d get annoyed when your dad paid more attention to Jungkook. It wasn’t because he preferred Jungkook over you, but because your dad, a high-profile NHL General Manager, supported the boys on their journey.

Every girl in school was swooning over him – they still are. And you’re not the only girl he’s paying attention to. You have to force yourself to admit that he’s hooking up with other girls too, because denying it would make this seem so serious, and the thought of things becoming serious scares you.

You’re content with how things are between you two – you’re not foolish enough to turn this simple, silly arrangement into something serious when you know it wouldn’t last. Taehyung being the main reason for that. But you don’t want Jungkook in a romantic way anyway, and he doesn’t too.

Jungkook smacks your butt, soothing the sharp hit by running his hand over your burning skin right after. “Want your little pussy to be a mess for me.”

It is, you want to say. You are. But you’re lost in the tingling pleasure that clouds your mind, leaving you with nothing but desperate need for him. Any rational thoughts vanish, replaced by an angelic, repetitive chant of his name. Jungkook, Jungkook, Jungkook.

And with only Jungkook your mind, you cum around his fingers, walls clenching as the rush of your high envelops you completely.

“Good girl.” His fingers lather your slick all over your pussy, marvelling at how much it glistens under the sun, watching how it sticks to the pad of his fingers in little strings. “So pretty.” He discards your shorts and panties before pulling you up and making you straddle him.

Your arms drape over his shoulders as he takes in your weary expression, a small smirk rising on his face.

“So annoying,” you mutter and his smile grows wider. You smooch his dimple and rest your forehead against his neck when Jungkook rolls the condom over his cock and you feel him lift your hips up a little to align his tip with your entrance.

He stretches you out in a familiar, delicious way. Burying himself so deep inside you as you sink down on him. Your nose brushes his jaw and a shaky moan bubbles up when you move your hips and feel the full size of his cock.

Jungkook hands stay on your hips, guiding your movements before they sneak behind you and anchor themselves in your butt and you sniff a laugh, leaning back to peer at his face.

“Why?” he questions, curiosity piqued. Even though he doesn’t know why you’re amused, a soft smile spreads on his face.

“Nothing.” Your fingers gently weave through his smooth hair, playing with the strands at the back of his head. “Just you.”

The corners of his mouth curl upward and a satisfied, cocky glint settles in his eyes.

“Take this off,” you say, tugging at the tight-fitting shirt covering his upper half. Jungkook pulls it over his head, revealing a shiny silver necklace decorating his neck. “Is this new?” You trace the delicate chain with your nail.

“Yeah,” he grins proudly. Setting your laptop aside on the coffee table, he manhandles you onto your back, pushing his cock even further into you as he sits on his knees and leans over you. “You like it?”

The necklace dangles just above your face, its silver chain shimmering and momentarily catching your attention. You pull him closer by tugging on it.

“It’s pretty. Suits you.”

The compliment conjures a boyish smile on his lips, making his face soften with a warm, endearing glow – such a sweet contrast to the way he pounds into you with practised movements, his skin covered in sweat yet again, but not for the innocent reason of keeping fit for hockey, but for the wicked reason that Jungkook can’t control his desire to fuck his best friend’s younger sister and keeps coming back to you despite having so many other options.

Jungkook drags your bra down and squeezes your breast, loving the heavy feel of your supple flesh filling his closed fist.

You throw your legs around his waist to pull him even closer to you, if that’s even possible, and Jungkook deepens his thrusts, leaving you gasping for air and holding onto his shoulders, needing something to sink your nails into.

He dips his head down and catches your pebbled and sensitive nub in his mouth, sucking and licking and making your moans whinier. Jungkook leaves tiny flecks of spit on your skin as he peppers your chest and neck with smooches.

Jungkook’s touches send waves of euphoria through you, leaving your thoughts scattered and your senses heightened by how good he makes you feel, chasing your high as you concentrate on the way he reaches your sweet spot every time his body meets yours, so you only realise Jungkook is nibbling and sucking on your neck when you feel his teeth poke you.

“Jungkook,” you scold him, yanking him by the hair.

“What?” He peers at you through his big, round doe eyes.

“Why would you do that?” Your finger grazes the spot where he was just working hard to create a little hickey. “You know I don’t like that.”

“But you look pretty with it.” His brows raise to make his point clear. “Trust me.” He smiles at you in an annoyingly charming way, giving the freshly created hickey a gentle kiss. “A little love bite.” Love bite. You don’t want to dwell on how those words make you feel.

The only thing you want to think about is how close you are to cumming.

“Don’t do that again.” You avoid his gaze and cast it downwards, where he disappears into you. “Just– just make me cum.”

He pushes your leg up, his palm firmly against the back of your thigh. His sparkly necklace catches your attention, swinging in front your face, and it's the way he looks – his face flushed with desire, eyes smouldering, and every muscle taut with intensity – that makes it impossible to look away, leaving you completely captivated as you listen to his pretty moans that sound even better than the song playing in the background.

Your fingers trail down his chest, brushing over his hard abs as a faint attempt to moan his name rolls of your tongue and you bask in the bliss that floods through you.

“Fuck, ___,” he rasps when he feels you squeezing his cock. “Gonna cum too.”

His thrusts become sloppy as Jungkook loses himself in the feeling of release. His moans are breathy and low and you hear him stutter when he finally comes undone too. The muscles on his tummy clench and you feel his grip on your thigh tighten as Jungkook moves his hips slowly now. With rosy cheeks and a look of deep satisfaction brightening his face, he leans in, and presses a fervent kiss to your lips.

You’d love to stay like this with him a bit longer, teasing and annoying each other until you’re ready for another round. But the reminder that Taehyung’s class will end soon brings you back to reality. You only ever have these secret moments for a limited time before reality comes crashing back down.

“Think we should head inside?” you ask.

“Uh-huh.” He’s busy dotting your neck with gentle kisses.

“You’d have to get off me, y’know?”

He chuckles, and you feel a ticklish flutter in your tummy.

“Just wait a minute.”

~

You step back inside once you’re both clothed again and you managed to pry Jungkook off you after he stubbornly clung to you for what felt like ages. Definitely longer than just a minute.

“We could make this exclusive, if you’d want that,” Jungkook proposes, stepping closer and you feel his heavy gaze lingering on you.

“Huh?” You’re busy with closing the balcony door, cursing the insects that always manage to invade your apartment. Taehyung’s been promising to put up the insect screen for months.

Jungkook helps you close the door with a strong push. “If the condoms annoy you, we could stop hooking up with other people.”

“Oh,” you utter, surprised.

If you’re honest with yourself, you have to admit that Jungkook has ruined you for other guys. No other boy quiet hits the same after experiencing how Jungkook treats you in bed. There is a reason why girls blush and giggle and crave his attention whenever he walks by. He’s just that good.

But being exclusive means spending even more time together, which increases the chance of Taehyung finding out.

You cringe at the thought of that.

“We’d practically be begging Taehyung to catch us like fools,” you tell him.

Just then, you hear someone type in the code and the front door opens.

Quickly, like a practised move, you put distance between you and Jungkook.

“You hungry, ___?” Taehyung calls out, emerging from the hallway. His gaze is focused on his phone as he types, until he notices you and Jungkook and stops in his tracks. “I was just about to call you for breakfast.” He lifts the bag from your favourite bakery. “What are you doing here?”

“I knew you’d invite me for breakfast.” Jungkook beams, reaching for the bag.

Taehyung’s gaze shifts to you, but you quickly brush past him. “I’m gonna take a shower. Don’t wait for me!”

“Did you come from a workout?” You hear Taehyung ask Jungkook.

Jungkook says yes, but he doesn’t tell your brother what kind of workout.

And moments like these are exactly why you want to keep things as they are with Jungkook.

⭒☆━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━☆⭒

read more of this couple here <3

[spidergwen-real-notclickbait]

hello gamers here is another one of my infamous rants you can all ignore but im saying this all to countless people on Tumblr coz none of you know me irl so its less embarrassing but like...

I know ive complained about this before but ive had some realisations but im literally 21 tomorrow (in a few hours) and it still really upsets me that ive never had a relationship but ive been thinking about it and it literally is all my fault like... I have such cripplingly low self esteem I physically cannot believe that someone would ever be into me and just for example, there was this guy I went on a date w from tinder like a year ago now and he was rly nice but I freaked out bc he wanted to sleep w me on the fist date and that terrified me coz it was the first date I went on since I was assaulted so I just ignored him after that... but he messaged me again a few months later wanting to meet up again and I was fucking stupid and cancelled last minute.. like sorry for the long story but just an example of how I freak the fuck out whenever someone shows any interest in me.. and also I found out a few days ago that he has a gf now and I just hate myself sm coz that couldve been me yk?? but its happened so many times where someone asks me out or shows interest and I just reject them.. and then I wonder why ive never been in a relationship like it literally is all my fault.. there was this girl I was sort of seeing for a bit but she just texted me one day and now she's dating her housemate and there was this guy a bit ago that I really fucking liked but he messaged me at fucking 4am one day saying 'sorry for leading u on but im not ready for a relationship' and like???? why were you on hinge then??? and why did you spend all night every night for god knows how long saying how u can't wait to see me again???? like I know a relationship isn't the point of life but when nearly all my friends are in v serious relationships, like moving in together and talking about family shit, I just rly feel like ive missed out and I just wanna know what it feels like to love someone and have my heartbroken and shit like that what every other person I know has and... idk sorry this is so long its just rly upsetting me but I dont have anyone else to talk to coz I dont know anyone else in this situation sorry guys

[oinkgoesthecat]

I've decided to type out a rant as if I'm talking to Sheik. Enjoy this dramatic reading where I imagine he's just watching me pace bewildered and mildly amused and maybe a little concerned.

I'm so good damned frustrated! I don't even know how to put it into words honestly. I've spent so long thinking about this moment but the moment I have it my first instinct is to push it away and smile and giggle pretend everything is fine because that's always I always do! I'm not allowed to not be fine! I never have been! If I'm not fine then it's somehow my fault. I'm not allowed to be upset because 15 years of my narcissistic stepmother taught me that it's my fault for being upset about things. And if I point out that I am upset she was allowed to point out all the ways I'm a failure and maybe I need a medication increase! Medication I didn't even need because I was so horribly misdiagnosed! I wasn't a bad kid I was just an autistic teenager! But I want to learn to be upset! I want to express that I'm unhappy with how someone is treating me! But I can't! And you! When I tried expressing I was upset you visibly shut down and left! I just wanted to explain why I was upset! I just wanted to hear you say you understand and that my upsetness was valid! If you had given me a few more minutes I would have been okay. I was panicked a little by how much information you revealed because I tend to be intensely private. Just because I'm insanely honest with you doesn't mean I'm honest with anyone else! I have 2 people in my life that know some semblance of what going on with me and it's kind of killing me, which is wild because I'm so used to be secrets wrapped in more secrets. But this one, this plan to leave, is killing me. I know I can't say anything until I have few more things in place but I'm dying a little inside pretending everything is fine. You expected honestly from me and now thats all I want! Which isn't fair because Im not convinced I get it from you. I don't know what I have to do to convince you that I fucking care about you, and actually want to know what you're thinking! I barely know how to interact with you half the time! You don't follow any of scripts and you're so hard to read! Every text I send feels risky because I'm not sure how you will react! You don't follow any of my flow charts of conversation and it's frustrating. Because I don'thave social skills, I don't know how to interact with people. But none of my little tricks to pretend I do work with you. I don't know who you want me to be. You're so hot and cold. One moment you're telling me how have to protect me and kissing me and I have to admit really liked when you kissed me and keep thinking about way too fucking often. And the next your leaving with a cryptic message about taking solace in the fact its not my fault. I have no idea what any of it means anymore. No matter whatever the fuck is happening at this point I know you are my friend. I want you to be my friend. I'm doing the hardest thing I have ever done and Im about to loose so much. I desperately need my friends. Please don't decide you don't want to be my friend because I'm too much. This rant was a lot but somehow it's not all my thoughts, just a lot of them

[rat-tomago]

AAAAAAHUUDHBCB IM SO SICK OF MY BRAIN LITCHRALLY HATE IT IN HERE ITS RUINING MY LIFEEEEEE :D :D :D

havent talked 2 my dad in months bc im so scared of him being mad at me. also very scared of him coming up here 2 take me back 2 my hometown or idk just generally make my life a living hell. despite having multiple sources of evidence tht none of those things would happen! and he just wants 2 talk 2 his only child! but i can barely use my phone anymore bc of this and im literally losing actual friends bc i cannot get past this

also related 2 tht i LOVE how im also terrified of my friends being upset w me so everything i say i have 2 fucking agonize over, and if i dont then inevitably i will b thinking abt it later and mentally flogging myself 4 saying smth so fuckin stupid. combine this w feeling like i need 2 wait a certain amt of time after receiving a msg b4 i can reply, and its a wonder i talk 2 anyoen at all

love not being able 2 sit down or lay in bed without getting up like seven times 2 rearrange the pillows or the cushion or whatever the fuck until it feels right

love not being able 2 write essays or emails or texts 2 certain ppl bc it takes me like half an hour 2 write one sentence

love being so scared 2 think abt the dreaded S Word (sch🤮🤮l) tht i couldnt even log onto my student portal 2 withdraw so i failed every class this semester (first time ive said this anywhere 2 anyone and after this i will go cry over it)

love being a shell of the person i used 2 be and honestly being the biggest possible disappointment 2 poor lil teenage me!!! : - )

[axagar]

the person who is my best friend and was fp has her bff already so i will always be on the back burner and i feel like trash. her bf is also such a dick. maybe it’s my hatred for men but he’s so condescending and just a know it all. like bro. shut up?? i don’t know. maybe i’ve hit the fp point where i’m starting to realize the flaws. it just feels like she doesn’t want me around when we actually hang out. i also notice she’s constantly texting someone when i’m there and i’m pretty sure it’s her actual bff. the last time i was there, they were just on their phones the whole time. yes, the power had gone out for 24 hours and they were able to use their phones again. but fuck dude. i felt like the elephant in the room. i upset them and their kids because i was upset so i feel like the biggest pos for even being upset in the first place. i should’ve just gone home but i still would’ve been a pos. they also live bout two hours from me and that’s a long trip home bc i’m just a bitch, ya know? so i sucked it up and ruined everyone’s day still in the process. i just don’t know what to do. besides my ex who i am completely obsessed with and still in love with, she’s the only person i talk to. and i feel like i’m nothing to her. i’ll never be her best friend, even if she’s mine. it radiates every relationship in my life. i will never be someone’s favorite or their number one. everyone already has a best friend or just their significant other. some have their parents, i was always the worst child and the disappointment to my mother so that’s out. i was my father’s favorite but he passed when i was six. i just want to be someone’s number one. i want that unconditional love. i want to be the person someone wants to tell about everything, all the good and the bad. i want their first thought to be “oooh i gotta tell alice about this”. and i’m not. i know people say you have to reach out to people, don’t always expect them to reach out to you. after not being able to drive for two years, i can finally see my friends, since none of them wanted to hang when i couldn’t drive for two years. i’ve seen all of them, most of them multiple times. all because i initiated it. if i don’t ask people to hang out, they don’t talk to me. if i don’t initiate every conversation, it doesn’t happen. except for one person. my ex girlfriend who i am completely in love with and obsessed with. i bought my own christmas gifts this year for my mother to wrap and give to me. the only other person who got me anything was my ex girlfriend. i’ll never be her number one bc of her daughter, but obviously that’s understandable. every time i feel like i’m losing someone, it always comes back to her. she’s the only person who’s truly made me comfortable. sitting here alone in the apartment where i live by myself, im not comfortable. but if she’s here, i’m at peace. she feels like home. i just wish she wanted me like i want her. she told me she loves me still and pretty much that she’d be with me besides the fact she knows how easily she switches and how easily she could hurt me. so she doesn’t want to put me through it again. so we stay friends and i at least get my safe person, even if it’s only when she has time. at least she calls me first. i just want to be able to keep someone in my life other than her. why doesn’t anyone love me like that? no one in my fucking family, birth family or adopted family, want anything to do with me. everyone around me makes me feel like i’m just their pity party. oh the poor girl with the seizure disorder and no friends or family. it’s the look on peoples faces when they talk to me or just the way they don’t talk to me. if i go to smoke with my neighbors, we smoke and they play on their phones or the game. we don’t talk. it’s like people can’t stand me if i open my mouth. i don’t like social media besides tumblr, and i feel rude sitting on my phone when i’m with people, so i don’t. i just sit there, quiet and uncomfortable, feeling like no one wants me there, and once again, like i am the elephant in the room.

i stg if someone hugged me right now, i’d just break and shatter into a million pieces. and then i’d crawl out of my skin for the simple fact someone touched me and was in my bubble.

i just want to be able to be happy being completely alone. but my heart longs for her. every person that makes me feel lonely is just another thing making me miss her more.

[skiasurveys]

Where did you get the pants you are wearing from? not wearing pants Do you find smoking unattractive? no, but like sometimes seeing a man with a cigar or a cig just looks hot but the actual act..isnt lol Have your parents ever searched your personal belongings? Nope, i dont think so Could you go for the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? probably but I would def miss it Is there someone you’ll never forget?

yes

Do you miss someone right now?

Yes. Last time you were on the phone? like a few days ago (if u mean like phone call) Do you get distracted easily? yes i have adhd

Have your parents ever caught you drinking? im an adult so Do you think flirting is cheating? yeah

Do you hate the last girl, other than family, you had a conversation with? no

Who was the last person you sat next to in a car with? Mom Is your room messy or clean? pretty clean except for one pair of shorts on the floor that im too lazy to move rn to put away.

Do you drink tea? not really. 

Wish you could be somewhere else right now? yes, but im okay right What are you listening to right now? im watching a movie! Where did you get your last bruise from? i dont know, i always get them randomly. Are you looking forward to anything? the next episode of the last of us. When is the last time you wanted to punch someone in their face? im not sure

Whose house where you last at? Kyras

When someone says ‘we need to talk’, what do you think: i fucked up

Tell me what’s on your mind? school. im tired. Will you be in bed before 11 tonight? physically, yes  Do you have a good relationship with your parents? yeah, pretty good How much money did you spend today? None Can you see a cat from where you’re sitting? yes :3 hes right in my lap, under my macbook lol Who was your last text from? my sister What was the last bad thing that happened to your phone? nothing tbh What’s been upsetting you lately? schoooool. im tireddddd Is there anyone getting on your nerves at the moment? nah

Is there a member of the opposite sex on your mind? ummm..yes lmao

Last place you fell asleep other than a bed? couch

Does it take a lot to make you cry? nope, i cry easy

Do you have a dog? no i am allergic Do you like to wear pants? kinda, but i prefer shorts How many people do you trust fully? no one When you’re bored in class, what do you usually do? use my phone lol What’s your favorite color out of these five? Green, Yellow, Blue, Pink: yellow! What was the first thing you said when you woke up today? no idea Do you get 8 hours of sleep everyday? hardly. im lucky if i get 5 Ever like someone older than you? always What’s your favorite amusement park? disneyland

Are you cold at this very moment? nah. kinda warm. Do you prefer people who talk a lot or are quiet? it really depends, i rather people do the talking but it depends where i am Is there someone in your life you wish you never met? connor, alan, almost any man How many hours of sleep do you need to function? like 5

What do you think Avril Lavigne is doing at the moment? i dont know...lol What’s one fear are you most paranoid about? never being happy. always struggling. Have you ran into an old friend recently? nope Have you ever had a song stuck in your head for more than a day? always Could you go a whole year without cursing? nope.  Would you rather give up the computer or the TV? tv, i hardly watch tv, and besides now everything u can do on the computer so Have you ever liked someone who had a girl/boyfriend? yeah As of this minute, what is going through your mind? school is rly the only thing, and this movie Does anyone know your password besides you? no Would you ever take someone back if they cheated on you? i dont think so Have you ever ridden a horse? Yes. Are you a patient person? i can be, but sometimes im not... Could you go a day without eating? yeah, and i have (not tryna sound cool) but yk Honestly, are things going the way you planned? no..but theyre going better than i expect Are you a forgiving person? No, I wish I was but i just hold onto it. When you shut off your alarm clock, do you tend to fall back asleep? lol yes What is something you disliked about today? I felt sick for the 68588559th time. but that was it.

When’s the last time you had a headache? last week, they were bad. Is there anything that you are craving right now? no What was the first thing you thought of this morning? about how I had class this morning but it ended up getting canceled. What part of your body hurts right now? none, besides my skin feels a little itchy Is there anyone you would like to just appear at your front door right now? oh pedro pascal pls What is something that you realized today? i realized i did my assignment wrong, but I figured it out real fast Is there someone on your mind that shouldn’t be? not rly. Do you remember who your first crush was? I really dont. ive always liked someone but i remember one of them being this kid named Austin Ever walked into the guy’s bathroom? yup Have you ever cried from being so mad? always What’s a word that starts with the third letter of your first name? eagles Do you have a bad temper? i have bpd lol How many wives or husbands do you want? just one...please lmao What’s the closest pink object to you? my waterbottle  Do you consider yourself lucky? ..yeah i do actually. Whats on your bedroom floor right now? my bra, sleep shorts and my bag Do you trust anyone? no What’s your favorite color gummy bear? red i think What’s the last movie you saw in the theater? Puss in Boots If you could push one person off of a mountain, who would it be? connor Wish you could be somewhere else right now? kinda What color is your iPod? i dont use it anymore, but it was white What should you be doing right now? nothing Do you like roller coasters? yeah! One famous guy you would marry in an instance? pedro pascal

[vantekay]

.

[erodasfishtacos]

i have an idea for a breakup call: yn sees pictures of harry and tara in a date and gets drunk and calls harry crying and saying “you’re my boyfriend, not hers, you’re mine” and harry is all like “yes im your boyfriend come back to me” 🥺

YN feels her heart collapsing in on itself like a dying star - it sounded dramatic but that’s how it truly fucking felt.

These fucking pictures.

Harry walking in front of a gorgeous blonde to a restaurant his friend owned.

Them siting across from each other, Harry sipping on his water and Tara has her head thrown back with laughter, white teeth gleaming.

Them walking out off the dinner, Tara had her hand wrapped around Harry’s bicep as he guided her through the paparazzi.

It shouldn’t feel good that Harry was obviously not in none of his best moods - his jaw clenched in most of the pictures, he looking down at his plate or past her most of the time.

And just like fucking clockwork, he legitimately must have just arrived back to his (their) california home when her phone is ringing.

She is so mad at him. She shouldn’t be because she broke up with him but fuck, she is so so angry that she sends him straight to voicemail.

It doesn’t deter him, he calls again and when she ignore it - texts begin popping up on her phone.

bunny: don’t be like this, answer my calls

bunny: i know you’re upset, i can sense it an ocean away

bunny: answer me, im getting pissed

And she dials him back, he answers on the first ring, and he sounds relieved, “Darlin’, how are you?”

“Fine,” Her voice tight, short with aggravation as she tries to erase the images from the paparazzi from her mind.

There’s a pause, “Y’upset, I know y’saw the pictures.”

“I’m fine!” YN bites back, her voice losing any conviction it had, “I’m perfectly fucking fine that my boyfri-you are out on dates with other girls!”

Harry let’s out a frustrated chuckle, “Y’know I didn’t enjoy it - I’m sure you can tell from the pictures, Jeff already bitched me out about how miserable I look.”

Then he adds lowly, “M’still y’boyfriend.

She didn’t agree but instead mumbles, “You’re mine.”

It’s possessive and unfair because she’s doing this to their relationship.

But he hums, “Of course I am, y’ready to come back to me yet, honey? I’m missing y’every moment of the day.”

YN shouldn’t say this but she has to see his reaction, “Stop going out with her. I don’t want you too anymore.”

Harry should tell her to ‘fuck off’ and tell her she has no right to demand that of him but he just says, “Okay, s’no problem but if I do tha’- you better have y’cute little arse on the next flight to me.”

“Harry-“

“No, you want me. You want me to love on you, take care of you, and you’re being s’god damn stubborn. Just come back to me, now,” He demands, getting irritated.

[jeonfiles]

once more to see you | kth 01

pairing: taehyung x reader ft. seokjin

genre: angst, fluff, unrequited love

synopsis: taehyung is the complete opposite of you, and you're so in love with him. he's not interested in you at all, but he's willing to pretend so he won't be known for breaking the sweetest girl in school's heart. he knows you'll end up hurt either way.

warnings: taehyung is an idiot, a lot of pining, y/n is annoyingly dependent on validation, y/n does a lot of silent prayers, y/n is a track star, childhood bsf seokjin (cute), mentions of deceased family member

music for this chap: she had the world , carry me out

a/n: taehyung will disappoint u in the beginning but hes cute i promise

"I get why you like him Y/N," Sohee swallowed the rest of her sandwich before finishing her sentence, "He's so hot. People say he's interested in you too, y'know?"

Sohee visibly tried to get food out from the back of her mouth using her tongue, and it made you chuckle at the sight. "I don't think he does." You sighed, resting your chin in your palm.

You were both situated at the table in the inner corner of the cafeteria, with a full view of who walks in the door, and sometimes you swore you could see Sohee drool when attractive guys walked in that exact door.

"Hello, of course, he does! Even his friend Jimin told Kang Seulgi from Class 1, who told Go Euntaek in class 3, who eventually told his girlfriend Baek Ho-rang who ran to me to tell me the great news." Sohee gasped for air after rambling, and you rolled your eyes,

"Stories change when that many links contribute." You scoffed, sitting back in your chair and reaching for your juice box on the table, taking a huge slurp, which you knew would annoy Sohee.

"You don't believe me? Guess we gotta ask a link closer to the source then." Sohee stood up from her chair, and you looked at her with a raised eyebrow.

"Park Jimin, get your ass over here will ya?" She nearly shouted across the cafeteria, and now all looks were pointed at you two, and you felt the urge to just slip down the cracks of the floor tiles and hide there forever grow stronger for each nanosecond.

You sunk further down on your tacky, orange chair, but you could still see Jimin's black locks sway a little over the crowd as he walked over to the table you were sitting at.

"What's up sugar?" Jimin smirked at Sohee, and Sohee didn't even budge, and you had no idea how she did it. He was stupidly attractive and could make any girl drop her pants with a comment like that.

"Jimin my dearest, a little birdie told me that Taehyung likes my sweet Y/N, could you confirm?" She batted her long lashes and smiled prettily at Jimin.

He looked to the left, sucked his teeth, and said, "I can't, I'm sorry." You realized you had grown a little too hopeful, and your heart sunk quite a bit when he spoke.

"Does he think I'm pretty at least?" You spoke up, eyes shining when you looked up towards the standing Jimin, the harsh lights in the cafeteria reflecting in them.

"He hasn't mentioned you much, to be quite honest." He shrugged, walking back to his table, where Taehyung and the rest of his friends sat.

Your heart thumped when he met your eyes, and you looked away in panic. The rest of lunch was just Sohee apologizing and you avoiding eye contact with any of the students at the nearby tables.

Jimin mentioned you and Sohee's name several times, he was a loud speaker, and you were so scared of what he was saying you could probably die right then and there.

Saved by the bell, you picked up your stuff and got ready to start running to your classroom, praying you wouldn't meet any of Taehyung's friends, and especially not Taehyung as you ran Usain Bolt style.

You looked down while running, not thinking twice about leaving your best friend behind, you suddenly fell to the ground with a thud. This was surely not one of your glory days.

When you looked up, you wanted to cry. It was none other than Kim Taehyung, and he didn't look pleased. You gathered your things and muttered "Sorry." under your breath probably about 10 times, and he just watched, disappointingly.

"You're a klutz. Why were you running?" He spoke, and your knees turned into jelly when you tried to stand up, you nearly fell and dropped all your stuff again, but he caught you by the arm, straightening you up like it was nothing.

"Uh... Uhm... Err..." you mumbled, and he rolled his eyes, and not in a joking manner. "Fuck that, why are you going around telling people I like you?"

Your breath hitched, and he stared at you coldly. "I didn't! Gosh, my friend Sohee told me someone had told her that you liked me, and- uh... We asked Jimin, and-" He put his hand over your mouth, making you shut up.

"I don't want you two to go around making up baseless rumors about me, it's incredibly annoying for me to go around correcting people who assume shit just because your little friend speaks louder than a bunch of hyenas at a tea party." Taehyung nearly spat, and you took a step back.

You noticed that people were listening in, their stares burning holes in your back. He was livid, and you didn't understand why, you just smiled, praying to god that this would end soon.

"I just thought you liked me-" You began, and he interrupted you, "You thought I was gonna like someone like you? Get over yourself and enter the real world."

The hallway went silent, your lips trembled as hot tears raced down your face, and like the track star you were, you fled the scene and passed the finish line into the bathrooms.

You stayed till the school day ended, not knowing what was unraveling outside the four walls of the stall.

Sohee 💜: 01:12 pm

Y/N, where are you? i heard what happened :( i hate taehyung im gonna chop his sausage off

Sohee 💜: 01:38 pm

taehyung is fighting w doyoung because doyoung decided to defend you this is hilarious

but fr where are you

Sohee 💜: 01:57 pm

doyoung gave taehyung a black eye damn

doyo is on the verge of tears when taehyung said you liked him and not doyo

taehyung cant not have feelings for you like there must be smth deeper going on

Sohee 💜: 03:39 pm

class just ended i'll wait out back

Sohee always knew when to leave you alone, so she did, partially. You usually shut off your phone when you're upset, but she still sends you texts to update you whenever you turn it back on.

This time, it was quite dramatic, and you rushed out of the icky stall and ran (again) to reach Sohee to get the full story, and as you expected, it was interesting.

"Basically, Doyoung punched Taehyung and Taehyung was a little too OP, so he failed to initiate a fight, so it just turned into Taehyung being an ass to Doyoung for defending you." She shrugged, adjusting the straps of her leather backpack as you walked home.

"Taehyung's rep is so tainted right now, I don't know how he's gonna fix this my dear Y/N, so I guess he got his karma. He's an idiot and I'm glad other people are starting to see."

You nodded yes, pushing out a fake chuckle, while silently you prayed that everything would soon be back to normal and that Taehyung would forgive you for the mess you caused.

Being in love with Taehyung for a year had taken a toll on you, and your best friend since freshman year had noticed too. You were different.

You used to be so independent and optimistic, but now you would strive for validation, and you had turned into one of the most insecure people Sohee had ever met.

Sohee tried to pull you away from him, but to her demise, it only got worse when you tried to meet other guys. She figured that the only way for you to disconnect from him was if you had your go with him, or if he treated you like a complete idiot.

You waved goodbye to Sohee as you entered your house, kicking off your shoes and throwing yourself down on the couch. You wanted to scream, but you saw your brother's and another guy's shoes in your hallway, so you kept it inside.

After having watched an episode of Seinfeld, you could hear the floorboards creak, and your gaze found its way to the hallway, where your brother, Yoongi stood, peeking out from his door.

"Ah, Y/N, you're the one who's home?" He smiled brightly, eyes turning into small crescents, which made you awe at the sight.

"Yuppers." You said and sat back again, pressing play to start the next episode. "Who's your guest?" And as you uttered your last word, another head peeked out from the door, and you couldn't help but feel the happiness brew inside you.

It was Kim Seokjin in all his glory, and this time, he looked even hotter. It had been about two years since you last saw him because he moved to Germany to study medicine.

Seokjin had been your neighbor since you were born, and you pretty much grew up with two older brothers who always took care of you.

No one dared to mess with you, because Seokjin and Yoongi always got to them first. That way, you grew up without a care in the world, protected from all evil.

You had no idea when you fell in love with him. It was somewhere during puberty, where your interest in Brad Pitt and Kim Soohyun from Dream High had grown stronger.

You remember Seokjin was scouted for modeling, acting, and even idol groups all through your childhood. He did a few ads, photoshoots, a popular teenage drama called Double Trouble, and even managed to get his own Wikipedia page.

There was no doubt that Seokjin was an attractive man, and in the two years he had been gone, his face fat was completely gone, and he had defined cheekbones, a slimmer and tighter figure, and you thought he couldn't be any more perfect.

"None other than God himself," Seokjin said smugly, opening his arms to greet you with a hug, and you threw your blanket you were covered into the side as you bolted into Seokjin's arms, legs wrapped around his waist.

He slowly put you down so your feet touched the parquet, and you felt a kind of euphoria as he smiled at you again, the same smile he had flashed you as long as you could remember.

Everything about Seokjin had matured and changed, but his smile remained the same. "What are you doing back?" You sniffled, holding back the happy tears that were forming in your eyes.

"Hey, don't get me wrong, I love Germany, but it's a little bland. I miss ahjumnas complimenting me on the subway and the bomb ass food here in SK." Seokjin grinned as he wiped a tear that fell down your face.

Yoongi was leaning against the door frame, smiling at the grand reunion. You knew he liked seeing you two together, and you had a small suspicion about him shipping you guys.

"Please don't ever leave again." You gripped onto his shirt, digging your face down in his chest, and he said, "I swear to god if you're wearing makeup right now-"

You laughed as you pushed him away, placing your hands below your chin and batting your eyelashes dramatically, "I'm all-natural."

"Naturally pretty." Seokjin leaned forward and whispered in your ear, and your heart did a little somersault.

Seokjin's always been a charmer.

You woke up in your room, pink sheets draped over your half-naked body as tons of messages poured in on your phone, vibrating so much it nearly fell off the edge of your nightstand.

You grab it while rubbing your eyes, and you're shocked to see the messages that had exploded on your lock screen.

Unknown: 08:39 am

Hey, it's Kim Taehyung.

Look, I'm sorry for the shit I said to you and I would love to make it up to you in some kind of way.

Maybe I could take you out?

I get it if you don't want to, but I heard you were interested in me so...

What kinda food do you like? Activities, hobbies?

I really wanna make this right :)

You: 08:43 am

oh hey! I'd love to, you kinda owe me one. if it's your treat, I suppose we could get some sushi and boba...

btw I don't like u like that

Contact made, saved as "taehyung <3" at 08:44 am

taehyung <3: 08:47 am

Okay. Meet me at Nori Table at 6 pm. Don't make me wait.

Your heart was palpitating, and when you pressed your phone up to your chest, you could feel your body heat up from your scalp to your toes.

Maybe Kim Taehyung had no interest in you right now, but he sure would after tonight. You were gonna make him love you, soon enough,

Running to the shower a few hours of Seinfeld later, you scrubbed with all your might with your newest strawberry scrub, did your makeup, curled your hair, and sat down on the couch, outfit draped over the armrest of the chair.

It was an hour till you were leaving, so for the time being you sat with hair rollers in your hair, dressed in pink sweats. Seokjin and Yoongi had been awake all night, you had heard them laugh and play Mario Cart all night, it reminded you of old times.

Old times where you went to bed crying because Yoongi and Seokjin's bedtime was later than yours at sleepovers. Thinking back, your parents made a pretty rational decision, but you resented them for it.

When Seokjin left for school in Germany, during your Sophomore year you cried again. You thought it was so unfair that you had to be two years younger, why couldn't you come with him?

You were painfully in love with him, and you had been probably since you were. A few months after he moved, your feelings faded. You were love-free, only to fall stupidly in love again with Taehyung just a year later.

You were forced to snap out of your train of thought because you heard the floorboards creak again. When you looked over at the dark hallway, you saw a tired, yet familiar face smile at you.

Seokjin looked quite disoriented, hair ruffled and eyes puffy, yet he looked like a Greek god. Sculpted to perfection, he smiled at you like he did yesterday and all the times before.

"Morning." He grunted out, his morning voice prominent. You chuckled when you looked at the time, feeling kind of bad for Seokjin who had slept away the majority of his day, which you knew he didn't like.

"It's 5 pm, cutie. Mom said you guys could order takeout, cause she's working late." You stood up, and Seokjin gave you a good look up and down, and then diverted his gaze to the lavender ruffle skirt and white long-sleeve blouse you had neatly hung over the armchair.

"What's the occasion?" He nodded over at the clothes and then your hair rollers and full-face makeup-covered face. He threw a few walnuts from the little bowl on the coffee table into his mouth.

"It's none of your business, but I have a date tonight," you said smugly, and a walnut flew out of Seokjin's mouth in shock.

"A date? Like a real one?" He frantically asked, and you nodded as you walked away with your outfit in hand.

You came back out minutes later, and Seokjin had to hold his mouth shut so it wouldn't drop to the floor. You had matured so well, a white blouse adorning your waist, and the lavender skirt hugged your curves nicely.

You had decorated your neck and ears with golden jewelry, and you had a pair of Air forces dangling from your left hand. You were beautiful, hair let free from the hair rollers, curls swaying as you did a twirl.

"It's alright, I guess." He pretended not to care, and your proud grin morphed into a frown pretty quickly, and he noticed.

He stood up and walked towards you, standing very close. His tall figure was hovering over you. Seokjin leaned forward towards your ear, not whispering this time,

"You're gorgeous." He pushed your curls behind your shoulder, adjusting your golden necklace as he returned to Yoongi's bedroom.

You were screwed.

The time on your phone showed 6:06 pm. You recall him saying ‘don’t be late’. What a hypocrite. It had started to pour down, so you were squeezed up against the brick wall of the restaurant so the ledge above you would shield you from the rain.

You were shaking from the cold, legs exposed because of your skirt. Sighing deeply, you reached down into your purse to text Taehyung, but when you looked up, you saw him running over to you.

He was holding a bouquet of pink delphinium and peonies. You’d always been interested in flowers, and this small gesture made you all fuzzy inside.

“I apologize for my late arrival m’lady. The flower shop was about to close down for the day, and I had to beg the cashier to let me in, promising to buy a huge bouquet if she did.” He smiled as he stood in front of you.

“No worries sir, I haven’t been waiting for long.” You chuckled, as you accepted the bouquet. His eyes scanned every inch of your body, and he said, “You’re shivering. Let’s go inside.”

This was a side of Taehyung you had barely seen before, caring and warm. This was also the side of him that initially made you fall for him.

The memories of him reading stories for children at the hospital was heartwarming. Whenever you went to visit your brother, who has now passed, you would see him read stories for all the unlucky kids.

Your brother, who was only 7 years old talked about Taehyung like a superhero, and it seemed as if Taehyung’s stories were the highlight of his days at the hospital.

Daejung wasn’t a kid you would pity. In his last months in the hospital he never once cried. You believed that Taehyung was a big part of the reason.

That’s why you fell in love with him. He hadn’t been a superhero in the form of saving lives, but he definitely made a whole lot of sick kids happier.

How could you ever repay him?

Taehyung rested a hand on your shoulder and lead you inside the door, and there stood a beautiful tall woman, black hair to her waist, almond-shaped eyes, and full lips.

She was beautiful. You looked up to see Taehyung’s reaction, and he wasn’t looking at her, he was looking at you. His eyes met yours, and you could’ve sword the whole world stopped.

“Excuse me?” An unfamiliar voice spoke up, and it kicked you right back into reality. It was the pretty woman speaking, an even prettier voice to match her.

“Do you have a reservation?” She questioned, smiling so genuinely from ear to ear. “Yes. It’s on Kim.” Taehyung spoke so confidently.

“Ah, for two. I’ll be your server tonight.” She waved for you to follow her, and before she turned around, you saw her name tag.

Bae Eunmi. A pretty name for a pretty person. Of course, she had to be pretty. Your confidence sunk even lower, and your insecurities grew.

“I’m not interested in her, by the way. I’ve talked to her before. She’s all beauty and no brains. Not for me.” Taehyung whispered into your ear, possibly to reassure you.

You sat down at the table and ordered a huge plate of different types of sushi, maki, nigiri, uramaki, and even sashimi.

This restaurant was fancy, nearly too fancy for your liking. It was huge and flashy, and it made you doubt your outfit choice completely.

The restaurant fell silent since there weren’t many guests here this early. The silence wasn’t awkward between you guys. It was just, too silent, and you decided to break it.

“Do you still write stories?” Taehyung’s face froze. How did you know about the stories he wrote? Had you been stalking him? Was this when everyone would find out how weak he truly is?

“How did you find out... About them?” He asked hesitantly, fidgeting with a small woven basket with bread placed on your table.

“When sun and moon met, moon felt bad. When the moon was alone at night, he cried, because he wanted to shine just like the sun.” You quote his story word by word, it was your favorite paragraph.

He looked at you with a confused look and his eyes told you that he wondered why you knew the story so well.

Before he could speak up, you said, “My brother's name was Daejung. He looked up to you and constantly told me about how he wanted to be like you when he grew up.” You placed your hands on top of his over the table.

Taehyung was speechless. He sat there, body completely frozen as he processed what you just said. The little boy he had mourned for many months was the same flesh and blood as you.

“Daejung told me how he wanted me to marry you because he thought no one else deserved me.” Letting go of his hands, he continued sitting completely still.

First, he felt disappointed in himself. Disappointed of the way he had treated you, how sad Daejung would be if he knew.

Second, he could see him in your traits. Your button nose matched his completely, and your eyes sparkled just the way his eyes did.

Third, he realized he had to take care of you. Fall in love with you, for Daejung. Taehyung had promised the little boy to take care of his friends and family when he has at his worst.

His expression completely changed. It softened, and his eyes looked at you like you were godsent. He believed you were too. It was fate.

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a/n: u guys know the angst isn't over lol u guys r never gonna see the light at the end of the tunnel ! this chapter was originally a bit longer but i have to test the waters and seeing how u guys like it !! pls reblog <3

[princessphilly]

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CW: Angst, angst, angst. 

Word count: 2916

Nina sighed as she snuggled her pillow. It sucked watching Sidney shake hands in the handshake line, the disappointing end to a good season. She sniffled as she watched Sidney stoically shake hands with the Flyers, disappointment and anger on his face.

This season, the Penguins had drawn the Islanders in the divisional semi-finals. After a hard-fought seven game series, the Pens had finally got past the Isles. However, the Flyers, surprisingly, made it past the Canes and the Battle of Pennsylvania was on. Unlike 2018, the Flyers won this time, in five games. Nina put her phone on vibrate, just in case Sidney called her.

However, Sidney didn’t call that night or for a fucking week. Nina was understanding at first but understanding turned into annoyance when pictures were posted of Sidney golfing with Kasperi, Brandon, and a couple of the single players. Nina just was glad she had the foresight to limit comments on her IG to approved commenters because she had no interest in people asking questions about him.

Scrolling her phone, Nina read a text from Marisa: has he called u yet?

No, Nina simply responded. She wasn’t going to call him first either. Let him have his bitch fit and golf. He didnt tell me he was going to go do that n im not his wife.

Nina’s phone rang and she answered. “Yes, Marisa?”

“Oh, Nina, he’s a douchebag. I can ask Kevin to slash him a couple of times next season,” Marisa commiserated.

Nina replied, “He hasn’t called me or texted me since that night. I haven’t tried to call him since Sunday because fuck that. I know he got his superstitions and everything but, no. Hell no.”

“I agree. Have you been out?”

Nina shook her head before saying, “I was finishing finals so I haven’t been out. Karesha told me we’re going out this coming Friday and, you know I don’t party like that but I will.”

“Give him something to miss,” Marisa advised.

Nina scoffed, “Something to miss? He’s lucky if I let him talk to me whenever he gets back.”

**

Sid groaned as he turned in his bed in Cole Harbour. He was so fucking pissed about the way the season ended; they finally got past the Isles only to get tripped up by fucking Giroux and his Flyers. Fucking Hart was a damn brick wall and fuck, Sidney could sense that his time in the game was coming to a swift close soon. For the past week and in a half, he had been in a funky snit, annoyed and needing to be away after golfing with the boys.

At the same time, he felt like shit. Sidney knew he shouldn’t have avoided Nina’s call; he was still raw from the loss and he didn’t want to expose Nina to that side. But, she hadn’t called or texted him since and Sidney didn’t know how to break the silence that he had created. Picking up his phone, Sidney blinked when he saw all of the messages on his lock screen. The team’s group chat had been busy last night.

Unlocking his phone, Sidney’s eyes bulged when he saw the messages. There were pictures of Nina out, with one of her friends, wearing a dress that was barely there. Her hair was falling straight over her shoulders but what really got Sidney’s attention was the fact that there were guys all around her. Then Nate sent a text; i guess ur single now. Told u not to go home without talking to her

“I’m a fuck up,” Sidney moaned.

“Yup, you are.”

Sidney blinked as he looked at his phone. He managed to call Tanger and Tanger didn’t look pleased.

“Sid, we’ve been friends for a long time but, I didn’t think you were this stupid,” Tanger scolded. “Really?”

“You know with the way the season ended,” Sidney began before Tanger cut him off.

“Nina knows that. She respects that. Nina’s not clingy or needy like some of the other girls. But, Cath told me you haven’t even called or texted her? Wow, Sid, wow.”

Sidney blushed as he listened to one of his closest friends berate him. Tanger was right. But how was he going to even apologize without looking like a bigger dummy?

“Well, you’re already acting like a dummy, Sid, so you might as well look like a bigger dummy,” Tanger snarked. “Nina isn’t like the other girls. She doesn’t need you.”

Sid gritted his teeth at that statement, especially since he knew that it was very true.

Sidney heard French yelling in the background before Tanger stated, “Cath thinks that despite being so good at hockey, you suck at being a person. And you made Nina cry when Cath last talked to her.”

Sidney wanted to slap himself. He made his pretty girl cry. “Fuck,” he yelled.

“Yeah, fuck. Fix it, Sid, instead of fucking yourself over forever.”

Sidney scrolled his phone after Tanger hung up on him. It looked like he was flying into Pittsburgh asap.

**

Nina sighed as she padded in her apartment. Last night was fun, going out with Karesha. They had just gone out to dinner, a jazz lounge, then ended the night at a rooftop bar. Nina knew people had been taking pictures of her all night and that people were wondering where Sidney was but that wasn’t her problem. There had been plenty of guys willing to take her home but Nina wasn’t interested in any of them either. She still wanted Sidney but fuck him too.

Her doorbell rang and Nina looked at the panel. It was Sidney with a pastry box and a wide grin on his face. Nina opened the door with a smile.

“Hi, pretty girl-”

Then she slammed it in his face, her grin growing wider as she loudly locked the door. Just like a man, coming back right when they realized she was getting attention from other men.

“Go away, Crosby, unless you want attention because you’re knocking on my door,” Nina yelled from the inside. Putting her earpods in, Nina cleaned her apartment for the umpteenth time, singing along.

Sidney gritted his teeth outside of Nina’s apartment. He was expecting her to let him in, yell at him, then he would charm his way back in. He didn’t expect to get the door slammed in his face and being told to leave. His desire not to gain extra attention was the only reason he left.

Nina sighed when she heard Sidney stomp away. Her anger was starting to change to sadness, again. She had hoped this would be different but Sidney was just like every other man; ain’t shit at the end of the day.

**

“Take him for all his cash, girl. Then tell him, maybe I'll take you back.”

Nina rolled her eyes as she listened to Jamila. “For someone so wealthy, you sure like to talk about taking men for their cash.”

“It’s like this; men figure out their self-worth by how big their dick is, how many women they fuck, and how much money they have. You don’t want to go to jail so you can’t cut his dick off. So, fleece him and then dump him for good,” Jamila advised.

Nina sighed and Jamila groaned. “Oh my God, please don’t tell me you miss this dumbass. Dude didn’t contact you after losing in their playoffs! He ignored your call! He only contacted you in person after you and ‘Resha went out! The dick can’t be that good!”

Nina sighed as she listened to Jamila. Over the past couple of days, there had been Edible Arrangement deliveries, lunch bought for the staff, cards proclaiming that he was dumb as hell and sorry for being an idiot. And Nina still didn’t respond. No calls, no texts, Nina was still upset and feeling raw.

“Jamila.. Glass houses remember?”

Jamila sighed over the phone. She didn’t really have that much space to talk but she persisted, “You let him off easy, he’s going to walk all over you forever. I know I’m a fuck up but I never let a man walk all over me. Don’t let Mayo Boy, no, he’s Miracle Whip because that shit is disgusting and he hurt you. Don’t let Miracle Whip think he can apologize a couple times and you’ll come running back.”

“I haven’t made any decisions yet. Plus, I’m going away with Desi, Sio, Lauren, and Kim to Phuket. You know, that trip you helped plan but you can’t go on now,” Nina said as she logged into her workstation. Work had become a refuge of sorts. Everyone was pretty much professional, no one brought up anyone’s personal life. It was all about work and the patients and it made Nina happy. “I gotta go, I have a patient at 8:30.”

“Bye girl, and remember what I said,” Jamila replied.

“Byeeee”

Nina hung up and pulled her earpods out of her ears. It was time to focus on another day of work. Before Nina realized it, it was lunch time. Rubbing her temples, she sighed as she thought about lunch. Grabbing her purse and her keys, Nina made her way out of her office. “Rita, I’m going to get lunch,” Nina called out to the receptionist.

However, as soon as she left, Nina saw the infamous Range Rover in the parking lot and she closed her eyes. She wasn’t in the mood and it looked like it was going to get embarrassing for Sidney.

Luckily, it wasn’t Sidney who came out but someone totally different. Nina let out a breath she was holding and walked to her car. Her vacation was coming up in three days and she would be away for two and a half weeks. Sidney would probably leave her alone once he realized she was out of the country. Nina was sure of it, he had to have been icing her out to dump her anyway for the offseason.

**

“Still no call?”

Sidney sighed as Geno plopped in the chair across from his. He had put on his best smile today for Nikita’s birthday but he was feeling the strain.

“None,” he finally replied. Sidney felt so tired and such a fool. The best thing in his life had slipped out of his fingers and it was all his fault.

Geno snickered as Anna strolled in, holding a box. “Zhenya,” she asked before rolling her eyes at Sidney.

“Da,” Geno replied.

Anna started speaking rapid fire Russian, too fast for Sidney to even attempt to keep up. Geno started to laugh when Anna pointed to Sidney before pointing to the box. Then Anna abruptly turned on her heel and left the room.

Confused, Sidney asked, “What was that?”

Anna hadn’t been talking to him and Sidney felt like he was part of the subject of that conversation. Geno chuckled before replying, “Anna said that it’s a shame Nina isn’t here but she made sure to at least have a gift sent for Nikita before going to Thailand.”

Geno didn’t add the rest, which was Anna saying Nina had better manners than his captain, to at least send a gift that she didn’t have to send, before disappearing. He wasn’t interested in kicking his captain when he was down.

Sidney winced. Part of him felt a bit happy that Nina was somewhere, having fun but it was without him so it was his fault.

“Oh, look at this, Nina’s riding elephant,” Geno crowed as he looked at instagram. Sidney looked at the picture. Nina was riding an elephant, making some kind of triangle symbol with her hands. Then he looked at the comments and the first one said: look at you, dropping baggage and having fun.

Geno snickered before saying, “Poor Sid.”

“Not supportive, Geno,” Sidney remarked, closing his eyes.

There was a pause before Geno replied, “Maybe donate money to things Nina likes. Maybe she’ll talk to you when she gets back.”

**

Sidney checked his phone for what seemed like the umpteenth time. “Cros, she’s not going to text you.”

Sidney rolled his eyes at Tazer’s annoyed tone. Webs, Pricey, and Tanger laughed at him. They were all in Toronto together for a team Canada thing but that was over and they were out for drinks.

“Heard you fucked up, badly,” Webs stated in a dry tone. “When in doubt, always apologize first and buy the woman her favorite thing second.”

“Nina’s not big on buying stuff,” Sidney absentmindedly replied. Getting Nina to splurge on herself was like going to the dentist. It wasn’t fun.

One thing Sidney did realize from off and on monitoring Nina's Instagram was that she was big on helping out at the Greater Pittsburgh Community Food Bank, she liked volunteering at the Humane Animal Rescue of Pittsburgh, and every year, she volunteered at a pop-up shop for girls who wanted to go to prom but couldn’t afford it.

Sidney wrote five figure checks to each organization, in Nina’s name, no strings attached. Sidney was serious about trying to get his pretty girl back and he knew that Nina was serious about volunteering and giving back. Now, he was just waiting to see Nina’s reaction. If Nina told him thanks but it was over, Sidney would be upset but he could accept it.

There were no texts that night but that morning, Sidney woke up to a text from Nina. It was a simple thank you but it meant more than anything to Sidney at that moment.

**

Nina sighed as she looked at the thank you cards that had been waiting for her when she returned home. This was so out of the ordinary, she had to text Sidney when she saw them. It was more meaningful than gifts.

The trip to Phuket had been amazing but there had been a tinge of sadness for Nina. She enjoyed riding the elephants, experiencing the beaches, going diving, everything. It was truly the vacation she had been waiting to have, after Covid and then switching jobs had pushed everything back. Despite her best efforts, Nina missed Sidney. She missed that dumbass hockey player, he had wormed into her heart that easily. She missed him and was still supremely angry at him. Nina felt like the biggest dumbass on earth. As she waited for him to show up at her place, she wanted to bang her head into the wall. I fucked up by dating him, Nina said to herself.

Her doorbell rung and Nina opened the door. It was Sidney, hands in his pockets, no gifts this time. He ached to bring her into his arms but Sidney wouldn’t touch Nina unless she gave him permission.

There was a stony silence after Sidney closed the door, neither willing to say the first word. Nina tried to summon some of the anger she had but all that was left was pain and sadness. Before she even realized, a couple tears had slipped. Sidney saw them and his composure completely crumbled. He did the one thing he swore he would never do; he made his pretty girl cry.

Nina hiccupped as Sidney pulled her into his arms. He just held her as she cried. “Fuck you, Sidney Crosby. I felt like you were icing me out before dumping me. Fuck you, you fucking jagoff.”

“I-I should have said something but I was so pissed and I didn’t want to lash out at you. Then it just snowballed,” Sidney said, heartbreaking as Nina sniffled.

“You’re such a fucking dumbass. I don’t even know why I’m even considering taking you back.”

Sidney said, “I just didn’t want to burden you with everything I go through at the end of the season, especially when it’s disappointing.”

“Fuck that, Sidney.” Nina glared up at him, the big dummy. “Communication, it means that if you say you’re in a relationship, you communicate. You should have even sent a text, ‘I’m pissed as fuck, going golfing with the boys, be back soon’ or even just periodically texted those stupid hi and good morning beautiful texts. How would you feel if I didn’t call or text you and went away?”

Sidney paused as he considered Nina’s point. He was unhappy he didn’t know that Nina had gone away without telling him but he couldn’t say anything now. “Your face says it all, Crosby,” Nina snarked.

“I’m sorry, Nina,” Sidney said, deep from his heart.

Nina sighed, she could tell he was truly sorry. “Those donations… they were a total surprise. They all needed the money and are dear to me. But the Pittsburgh Prom Dress giveaway, we always need more funds since it doesn’t get as many donations around the year. Your donation not only allowed us to provide more dresses this prom season, it also allowed us to expand our collection so that we could provide suits as well as dresses. Thank you, Sidney.”

“You’re welcome,” he sincerely replied.

Keeping her cheek on his chest, Nina said, “I’m dumb because I really am considering taking you back. But don’t ever do that again.”

Pulling away a bit, Nina looked deep into Sidney’s eyes. “I’m serious. I don’t think I’m clingy, I don’t require much, but don’t even do that again. I don’t need you to call me everyday but don’t ever ignore me like that again, Sidney.”

“I won’t, I swear,” Sidney promised, happy that his pretty girl was talking to him again.

[lauraashley93]

It’s always been you Pt 2

Part two to “it was always you. “

Here is part 1

Warnings: none? Swearing?

It’s been a good minute since I’ve wrote anything so I’m sorry if this isn’t very good but it’s literally been sitting in my drafts for months now. :) enjoy.

—————————————————————-

A few hours earlier

Miguel’s fist slammed against the desk. “How could I have been so blind Nestor?? How foolish am I? That I had to see through a text she forgot to delete? A child I was about to call my OWN is of another man? And a fucking Mayans? That stupid bitch is going to pay. They both are. I will have them both on my pew and make both of them regret the day they thought they could fuck with me. I may just let EZ’s fucking club watch and let this be a warning that if they EVER fuck me over I will discard all of them like worthless trash.”

Nestor watched as his friend threw a empty glass at the wall and paced through his frustration. As much as he knew he could very well do the things he said and Nestor would not mourn the loss of either person he knew a better way to heal Miguel’s wounds and if he were to Kill EZ and Emily and leave a child mother and fatherless this plan would never work because she would know. If they were to vanish, she would know and he needed a Miguel to calm down and realize that yes, he was embarrassed but now he could have what he really wanted. Now he could truly be happy. Why be mad when he was miserable anyway?

Present time

And thats how he found himself here. 10:00 at night, feeling like a high-school boy picking up a date for the first time. Butterflies in his stomach hoping, just praying you would open the door. He took a deep breath in and knocked on the door.

Your POV

You were settling in drinking a glass of wine snuggled up on your couch with your favorite book and blanket. You could feel your eyes beginning to get heavy when you suddenly hear a light knock at the door. Your brows furrowed in confusion. You looked at the clock and wondered who would be at your door. You placed your book down and slowly approached your door, checking the peep hole you were shocked to see Miguel Galindo at your door.

Butterflies caught in your stomach and you took a deep breath and opened the door. Concern instantly written on your face. You could tell he was upset.

“Miguel? What are you doing here? Are you okay?” You stepped aside letting him into your home, mentally kicking yourself for not picking up your place a bit more.

“Y/n, I’m sorry to show up so late. I.. I just.” He sighed in frustration obviously never one to stumble over his words. You smiled and grabbed his hand and led him to take a seat by you on the couch.

“It’s okay, Miguel. I wasn’t doing anything anyway. What’s on your mind? What is wrong?” You watched him as his eyes got glossy and he took a deep breath and turned to you.

“Emily and me, we uh, well turns out she was cheating on me. The baby, it isn’t even mine.” A tear escaped his eye but he wiped it away quickly. Clearly he was never one to show this side of himself but he always felt open with you. He missed that. Your heart broke hearing him say these things. You couldn’t imagine what his heart was feeling.

“Oh Miguel, I am so sorry.” You gently placed your hand on his back. “I’m here for you, whatever you need. I know you loved her.”

He smiled, not one that touched his eyes but he looked up at you. “That’s the thing y/n. I’m not quite saddened at the loss of the relationship between and my soon to be ex wife. I’m upset because I’ve wasted all this time pretending to be happy. Fooling myself into thinking I loved anyone else but you. And for what?? For Emily to leave me for the person she was in love with. Raising a child who she let me believe was mine. Not even caring what she did to me. And all these years I could have been with you. I could have been building this life with an amazing, strong, beautiful and loyal woman.”

You knew you should say something. Respond in some way but your breath hitched and you felt your world spinning in slow motion. Was Miguel really confessing his love to you? A few months ago you were just accepting the fact that you had made the worst mistake of your life letting him go and knowing you would never have him again but now?? He’s telling you everything you have DREAMED of him telling you. Miguel must have taken your silence as a bad thing because he started to stumble over his words. Clearly losing the confidence he had in hoping you felt the same way.

“Look, y/n I know it’s a lot to take in. I’m sorry, I never meant to overwhelm you. I just, I knew,” he sighed. “I couldn’t forgive myself if I didn’t let you know and let you go a second time.” He placed his hand on yours. “I’ll see myself out. I’m sorry.”

He got up slowly making his way toward the door. You blinked away your confusion and quickly shot up before he could get any farther. You didn’t know what to say so you did the only thing you could think of. You grabbed his hand turning him back to face you. You backed him up against your door not knowing where your new found confidence came from but not questioning it either. You crushed your lips into his moving them urgently and it didn’t take him a second to respond. He grabbed a fist full of your hair and you felt his tongue begging for entrance and so you opened allowing him access. You felt him massage his tongue against yours and you let a soft moan against his lips. He held you close and started guiding you back toward the couch

Until you felt it behind your knees you laid back brining him down on top of you.

You finally pulled away needing to catch your breath both your and Miguel’s chest falling up and down rapidly. He looked deep into y/e/c eyes and kissed your lips once more and smirked.

“So, can I take that as the feelings are returned or do you say goodbye to all your friends that way?”

You laughed and cupped his cheek and smiled. “I have loved you since I met you and I have never stopped. I have dreamed of this moment since I seen you a couple of months ago. I never want you to feel anything but happiness but I can’t say I’m sad about Emily’s terrible terrible mistake. I might even have to write her a thank you card.”

This earned you a laugh from Miguel and he smiled ear to ear. “Then come with me, y/n. Let’s start the life we both should have had this entire time. Please. I promise it will be everything you ever wanted. We can start your own business so you don’t have to stop doing what you love. Please.”

You thought about it. Your whole life was finally stable. But you had already gave Miguel up once. And here he was telling you, you could start your own business. He was only asking you to leave your crumby apartment. You’d be dumb not to, right? You smiled as you thought about the life you could be living with Miguel. The idea of him leaving without you already not something you even wanted to entertain. “When do we leave.”

Miguel smiled as he placed his hand on your cheek. “We can worry about that tomorrow. Right now there are more important things I want to take care of.”

You bit your bottom lip as Miguel brought you hip closer to his and you spent the rest of the night tangled in each other’s embrace.

@angelreyesgirl @auroraariza @spookys-girl @trulysuccubus @rosieposie0624 @bigcreatorwombatdreamer @skyofficialxx @strawberrywritings @miss-nori85 @cind-in-real-life @deeandbobbymcgee @starrynite7114 @louisianalady @itsjaybeast @-im-fantastic- @justatiredfool @scuzmunkie @ly--canthrope @yourwonkywriter @baby-your-so-golden

[elfdyke]

wow thanks! that was a really in depth post about it you make good points! when I played I definitely got the sense that monika had encouraged sayori to kill herself and I didn’t get the sense of any remorse when natsuki or yuri died or got fucked up but I guess u do make some good points there about how she was just trying to make them less desirable rather than kill them. I’m new to the game and the fandom so im not super familiar with everything yet but is there anything in the canon or lore that points away from monika having pushed sayori to commit suicide or is it mostly just fan theories and personal readings? either way thank u so much for answering!

yes i can absolutely find you some info on that!

there's quite a bit of information hidden within the games files, so I'm kind of assuming if you're new to the game, that you might not have seen these things? so ill dive into them too!

I'm gona do this under the cut so i can like, dissect things from the game !

(also i found stuff thats specifically pointing away from her meaning actual harm/death for Both yuri and sayori, jsyk)

iiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii.txt (discovered in game files during act 2)

“All I want is for you to hate them. Why is that so hard.”

not, all i want for them is to die. she doesnt want to kill them. she wants to separate us from them so we are with Her, not them. things spiral out of control, but it was never her intention for things to get this bad. ntm its repeated over and over in this game how badly monika wants to die. she's hanging on by a thread, keeping on only because she wants to be with us, to be in contact with reality. this leads to really unfortunate circumstances but i really strongly believe everything in the text alludes to the fact she did Not want things to get this bad

ACT 3 INTRO:

(im copy pasting a transcript of the monologue here, but this is taken from the very beginning of act 3, which you can see in this video starting at 25:56)

imo this is all the proof needed to show that she really had no intention of ‘killing’ sayori and yuri. things spiraled out of control far beyond what she was capable of handling. 

her goals with making sayori more depressed and yuri more obsessive were, in here words “to just try to make them as unlikable as possible”. she didnt want her friends to brutally die!! she loved them q_q i feel like a lot of people really dont look at this specific part of what she says and take it to heart. its very telling for her character and important for understanding what she does and why she does it

ACT 3 MONOLOGUES:

sayori's hanging (cw: graphic descriptions of suicide)

dialogue of importance:

"I was thinking about Sayori earlier... I still wish I could have handled that whole thing a little more tactfully."

+

"Come to think of it, it was probably less 'changing her mind' and more just her survival instincts kicking in." "So you can't really fault her for that." "It's easier to think that she probably wouldn't have changed her mind anyway, right?" "It's not healthy to think about the things you could have done differently." "So just remember that even though you could have saved her, it's technically not your fault she killed herself." "I may have exacerbated it a little bit, but Sayori was already mentally ill." "Still, though..." "I wonder how things would be if you and I just started dating from the get-go?" "I guess we'd all still be in the clubroom, writing poems and having fun together." "But what's the point when none of it is even real?" "I mean, it's the same ending either way, right?"

ok so whats important here, is monika is essentially using us, the player, as a mirror in act 3? the things she says i believe, very strongly show her sense of uncertainty in her actions, and her fears of what if she could have done something else??

"even though you could have saved her, its technically not your fault she killed herself" reads SO much to me like shes trying to comfort herself with this, she doesnt want it to be her fault. nothings real, sayori's a character in a game. but she wishes so badly they could have just been normal girls living together.

happy end poem

OK SO LIKE. this is actual proof of Why she does everything she does. she's scared if she reaches out and tells us she's trapped in a game, we'll stop playing, we'll kill her. she tinkers with the game, trying to make herself look the best, trying to make us choose her, and nothing works. and this leads to her becoming frustrated and scared, and screwing with the game more and more desperately trying to do anything to save herself.

if you recall, in act 2, she gives you a poem which bluescreen the computer. this was actually an attempt she makes to escape the game q_q she never wanted to kill yuri, she never wanted things to escalate like that. she wanted to get out but she had no idea how to program her way out of the game, resulting in everything crumbling around her, and her friends dying.

my own route

hang on this one genuinely makes me so upset.

it very much relates back to how in the conversation about sayori's suicide, she's still clearly thinking about how things could be Different. shes thinking about how they could be normal. "I may not have needed to take such drastic measures to be with you. Maybe the rest of the club would still be around..." , and then immediately trying to convince herself it doesnt matter, and that she doesnt care.

its so so obvious shes hurting and she misses her friends. the additional "i really dont (miss them)" at the end really shows that shes desperately trying to convince herself that it was worth it, that she did everything she should have, and her friends dont matter. but they clearly do matter to her. she loved them (she couldnt even delete them if u recall)

also another important part about this monologue, a lot of people say she killed the other girls out of jealousy, but this shows thats not true??

"I think I would end up forcing you onto my route anyway." "It has less to do with me not having a route, and more to do with me knowing that nothing is real."

this wasnt because shes 'in love' with us. she wanted to be close to something real, something tangible. she's clinging onto us, the player character, like someone lost at sea with a piece of driftwood, doing everything she can to stay afloat

wine

ok this isnt on the surface level as important as the other ones, but literally look at how she talks about this memory.. she misses them so much and talking about this memory she clearly cherishes brings her so much joy. she doesnt belittle any of them, she doesnt talk down on them, she’s just reliving this memory because it makes her happy 

I HOPE THIS HELPS?? im sure theres a few more things im forgetting, but i did my best to scrabble up everything i could to show how monika’s not an evil mastermind, shes a scared girl who didnt realize what she was doing and when things got too bad, she did her best to fix it, only for it to get worse n worse

edit: oh heres the proof that monika always loved the girls and never actually deleted them

:’)

edit 2: haha.. um ouch

“It’s not right for me to miss things that weren’t even real in the first place.” shes forcing herself to try and ignore her feelings for the other girls

[ayatosmlktea]

best boyfriend series | kirishima

A/N: So there is a list me and the gal pals have compiled of who we think are the best boyfriends in the entire world. I haven’t been in a thirsting mood for so long probably bc im mad ���depressed✨ so the only thing on my mind is soft boys and how amazing they are. This is the most writing I've done in months but I wrote this for Bri’s birthday a while back and am now sharing them with you bc we could all use some wholesome kiripima 

I wrote these as the thoughts came to my mind so...its not really organized ANYWAY enjoy!

- Your sense of humour and easy going personality is what draws him in even if he doesn’t realize it to be love in the beginning

- Even when he’s training with bakugou his eyes are always searching you out, the way you handle your quirk takes his breath away he just thinks you look so badass in combat

- Every time you ask if he wants to study together his heart starts racing so fast it feels like it’s going to burst out of  his chest and he has to fight back the blush that burns the back of his neck and ears whenever you giggle

- As you and Mina become closer, you start hanging out more with the bakusquad.

- Kiri finds himself getting increasingly distracted by you, he notices every little thing like the way your eyes shine whenever you smile, the way cover your mouth when you laugh which bothers him because the entire world deserves to see how beautifully radiant you look when you’re happy

- He notices the way your body language changes when you’re tired, how your attitude gets a little grumpier when you’re hungry and through learning all of that Kiri steps in to make you whole

- When you’re tired he passes you his notes to copy after class just giving you a knowing smile and ignoring the way his heart flutters when you stare at him like he’s your knight in shining armour

- He doesn’t like the way that Denki and sero playfully flirt with you, it makes him feel weird although he knows he has no right to be jealous so he ignores it

- During your second year you start dating Shinsou and Kiri can feel his world come to a halt, his heart plummets into this stomach but he puts on a fake smile and tells you that he’s happy for you and he hopes Shinsou treats you right

- You don’t seem to notice the way the light in his eyes is gone, how much more time he puts into training now that you’re busy with your new relationship and as bitter and mad as he wants to be he knows you deserve to be happy, even if it isn’t with him so he pushes his feelings down and acts like he isn’t being punched in the gut every time you kiss shinsou and not him

- Your last night in the dorms before summer vacation Kirishima finds himself being woken up by a quick series of knocks on his door

“Denki I told you already pennywise is not under your be-” he stops mid sentence when he finds you outside of his door, sniffling with red rimmed eyes

- He’s barely awake and processing what’s happening as he opens his door wider so you can come inside before one of the teachers catches you out of bed and on the boys side of the dorms

- He can hear that you’ve been crying and are still trying not to when you apologize for waking him up so late but you didn’t know who else to go to and suddenly his entire body is burning with anger when you tell him that Shinsou broke up with you

- He can’t help but let out a broken laugh, Shinsou never deserved your heart in the first place. If he couldn’t see how dedicated you were to the people you loved, how you cared for your friends and put their needs above yours, how incredibly talented and hardworking and beautiful you were then he was the dumbest man alive

- You’re suddenly quiet and Kiri realizes that he’s said all of that outloud and the overwhelming urge to disappear consumes him. He was sure that you were going to get up and walk out and never speak to him again but you don’t

- Instead you ask if he means what he said so quietly he can barely hear it and despite how hot his cheeks are burning with embarrassment he tells you he does

- He stops you when you lean in to kiss him and his heart hurts when he can see the rejection and embarrassment paint your features but he tells you that it’s not because he doesn’t want to kiss you, because of course he wants to, but he doesn’t want to take advantage of your feelings when you’re going through an emotional time

- You two spend the summer hanging out- just as friends, he wants to give you time to get over Shinsou because the last thing he wants is to be your rebound

- But with every day that goes by he finds it harder not to kiss you, not to hold your hand, not to text you every second of the day, not to tell you that he loves you

- The realization that he loves you doesn’t scare him, but it is the first time he admits to himself and accepts it rather than trying to bury it and so after he walks you home and you turn to go into inside he grabs your wrist and pulls you in for a kiss

- It’s not the most coordinated kiss but it sets every nerve in his body on fire and you’re both clinging onto each other like it’s your only lifeline. You break apart with the biggest smiles on your face and in that moment Kiri knows he’s going to spend the rest of his life with you

‧͙⁺˚*·༓☾　　☽༓·*˚⁺‧͙

- Well i wasn’t planning to write all that so now let’s get into WHY he’s the best bf

He’s 100% devoted to you, literally you could be in a room full of fkn models and his eyes would be focused on you because he thinks you’re the most beautiful woman to walk the earth

Any other relationship you’ve had in the past does not even come close in comparison to how Kiri treats you

- He would give up his life to make sure you’re happy, seeing you upset breaks his heart because he cannot stand the sight of you crying. It literally tears a whole in his chest

- If it’s within his power to deal with, he will make sure that whoever hurts you does not make the same mistake again. Maybe its a little unethical to use his pro-hero status to strike fear into the heart of creeps who won’t leave you alone at work, or the girls who enjoy gossiping about your relationship behind your back but he does not give a single fuck

- Your happiness comes before his and if you aren’t happy, he’s not happy.

- If he hears people talking about your relationship and making it seem as though you’re only with him for the fame or money he’ll tear them down with the brightest smile on his face not missing a beat

- While he acts all big and scary fighting villains, when he comes home to you at the end of the day he is the most cuddly person you’ve ever known. It doesn’t matter how exhausted he is, he always grabs you in for a hug and doesn’t let you down until he’s satisfied.

- Kiri is really big on skin to skin contact, expect him to constantly be slipping his hands under your shirt and wrapping his arms around you at the most random times

- When you guys are getting ready to sleep he’ll pull you snug against his chest and bury his face in the nape of your neck,

Your scent helps him fall asleep, not in a creepy way but in a ‘you’re safe and here with me so i can close my eyes knowing that everything is okay’ kind of way.

‧͙⁺˚*·༓☾　　☽༓·*˚⁺‧͙

- In my humble opinion, once kiri catches feelings for you they’ll never fade

- Even if you fight, it only reminds him of everything you two have built together and that you’re worth fighting for

- You hear a lot of your friends complain about how their boyfriends never listen to them, or how they don’t know what they like, you watch them shamelessly flirt with other guys and wonder what it must be like to be in such an unsatisfying relationship

- Kiri knows you better than you know yourself, he’s so in tune with you and your body that you don’t even need to ask him to do anything, he just knows

- He remembers little dates that most boyfriends dont, your first kiss, your first date, the first time he said “i love you” outloud

- He also is the first one to say it and it happens when you’re just hanging out in his room

- He’s known that he’s been in love with you for months but didnt want to say it too soon and have you freak out but after nearly six months in it’s driving him crazy not being able to tell you he loves you

- When he does your eyes glisten with tears and he freaks out thinking that he’s said too soon until you’re crushing him in a hug and tell him that you love him too

- When you’ve had a bad day at work or life is just becoming too stressful for you to deal with he puts everything else on hold to comfort you

- Makes you your favourite meal for dinner, gets your favourite show ready to watch after your shower and massages your feet while you snack on some ice cream for dessert

- Ever since you’d started dating Kiri had a habit of “accidentally” forgetting his hoodies at your place, spraying them with a bit of extra cologne while you were in another room

- He loved it when you wore his clothes, it filled him with a feeling he couldn’t quite describe but it solidified in his mind that you were his

- After almost four years of dating he knows that he can’t spend another second without you being his, forever

- He stays up all night looking at engagement rings but none of them are good enough for you so he does a little more research and finds a place that makes custom rings and has the date the first time he kissed you engraved on the inside of the ring

- He 100% cries the second he sees you walk down the aisle, if he thought you were beautiful before, there’s nothing else that compares to you on your wedding day

-  Everything else drowns out around him and the other thing that matters is you, sliding your rings onto each other fingers and sharing your tearful vows and then you’re pronounced husband and wife and his entire being is elated

- He kisses you with a passion and fervour you’ve never felt before, like he’s pouring his soul into the kiss , every promise he’s ever made and will make and all the things he can’t find the right words to say are transmitted

[icecoffeesimpwriting]

Hey so I was thinking. Super angsty Edward x reader where the reader is upset about how he up and left like in new moon. we still go to volterra to save him, right? but as soon as he's safe you walk away. you're like "my work here is done" and eddy boi is like "what? you don't want me?" and you argue bc he's a dumb boy who you can't trust? I know you wanna see eddy boi get his feelings hurt. I support this, so hurt. his. feelings. i guess you can end it fluffy and cute too if you want :* <3

OHHHHH I LOVE HURTNG PEOPLE’S FEELINGS NGL I MIGHT MAKE MYSELF CRY WRITING THIS ALSO WARNING IM CALLING OUT ON SOME OF THE TOXICNESS I SAW WITHIN EDWARD IN THE MOVIES

Edward Cullen x Reader but plot twist the reader ends up someone else 

~When Edward left you felt so broken and betrayed he had left to protect you but that didn’t make any sense 

~You had given him everything, you stopped hanging out with the wolves it hurt but you had still texted them without him knowing, the wolves were pissed they saw how toxic Edward was and they knew he had under his thumb but still it wasn’t healthy for you

~After staying in your room and thinking about what had happened you had locked yourself away from the world just needing time to think 

“Hey dumbass open your door”

“Go away”

“Y/n open this door or I’ll break it down you know I will”

~The voice of Leah was behind your door you knew she would keep her word and so you got out of your bundle of blankets and opened the door Leah came and looked around there were cups and plates around your room 

“Damn it Y/n come on go take a shower I could smell you outside your house”

“Leah, fuck off”

“Hey you shut the hell up go shower and get ready we got somewhere to be”

“What the hell are you talking about Clearwater?”

“You need to get soooo me and you are going to go have fun and then hang out with the pack at Mom’s house plus they miss you”

~You huffed and did what as she said the shower had felt good and getting out and brushing your teeth for the first time in a while felt even better.

~When you got back into your room you saw that all the dishes and trash were picked up as well as your bed being made,

~You knew Leah had done it she always looked out for you when life was kicking your ass, you had gotten dressed and done your usual routine coming down stairs to see Leah waiting 

“You ready slow ass?”

“Clearwater shut up”

~You two stared at each other and then busted out laughing you had forgotten how easy it was to talk to Leah unlike the Cullen’s you felt like you didn’t have to hold back the Cullen’s were nice and had their fun moments but most of the time you felt like you were stiff around them

~You two walked out and got into Leah’s truck as you drove around town just talking and catching up you felt emotions stir inside of you, you had feeling for Leah before you met Edward but you always pushed them away scared that she didn’t feel the same and when you met Edward it made the feelings disappear slowly but they were still there and now seeing her and talking you made you remember them and they were just as strong maybe stronger than what you felt for Edward

~As you drove around you stopped at little coffee shop in town you had came here with Leah a lot but when you dated Edward you had stopped going it felt wrong to go without her as you two pulled in you felt your mouth thinking about the amazing drinks and cakes they had when you two had placed your order you two had sat down and talked,

“So about Edward”

“What about him Leah?”

“I know you don’t want to hear this but Y/n listen to me he wasn’t good to you he was toxic and kept you away from us”

“Leah please”

“No listen, please Y/n we’ve known each other for years I know you and when you dated Edward you were not you. You were stiff and kept in a cage basically he kept you away from us”

“Leah,,,”

“You know I’m right Y/n”

~You felt like crying she was right and you hated it you hated knowing she was right Edward had kept in you in cage and hearing her say made reality hit you felt the tears spill over

~Leah reached over and grabbed your hand took you outside when outside Leah wrapped her arms around you holding you as you cried 

“Y/n listen to me I know it’s hard and I want better for you I wished you could see it someone out there could love you and give you what you need, I could- I mean someone else could give you that”

~Wait what had Leah just almost confessed?

“Leah did you just say you could be that person?”

“Y/n I’m sorry I know you don’t like me like that but I-”

~You kissed her you wrapped your arms around her and kissed her

“Leah Clearwater I love you, I loved you before Edward and I was so scared that you didn’t feel the same and when I felt some feelings for him and started dating him the feelings were still there and then he took me away from you and that hurt more than anything”

“Y/n you’re a dumbass”

“Huh? I just confessed to you and you me a dumbass?! What the fuck Leah?!”

“Listen L/n I called you a dumbass for thinking a a vampire could replace me I love you more than anything but damn you think someone could replace me?”

“Pftttt Leah shut up and kiss me again”

~And she did it felt right and better than it ever did with Edward it felt passionate and warm and loving

“Alright we gotta go or else the pack will be mad at us”

 ~When you had gotten to the house the pack welcomed you back and they were happy to you and Leah together finally Seth had joked around that if he had to hear Leah talk about you again he would fling himself off a building and Embry jumped in and soon the rest did too all joking and picking at you two Leah was to happy to care at the moment but then when she took you home things changed

~Leah stood on guard in front of you 

“Wait there’s someone in your house”

~The said person came out and there stood Alice with a shocked look on her face

“Alice what are you doing here?”

“What I am doing here is seeing what you are doing, why are with the wolves?”

“Why do you care?”

“Y/n please Edward is going to Italy to see the Volturi he wants to kill himself”

“What?! Why?!”

“I saw you get into a car with someone and get hurt and a bunch of other things and Edward saw thinking you were dead”

“Shit, Alice we have to do something”

“Wait Y/n don’t this isn’t your problem”

“Stay out of this wolf this none of your business”

“It actually is my business cold one me and Y/n are in a relationship now”

“What, Y/n tell me it isn’t true?”

“Yes Alice we made it official tonight I love Leah and I always have even with Edward and no offense but your brother is an asshole and treated me like shit! He kept me away from my friends and that’s not healthy! Leah has always treated me good I will go with you to save Edward but then I’m done I don’t care anymore I’m happy now and it took me being treated like shit from your brother to realize that Leah will always be the only one for me”

“Y/n,, I had no idea I’m sorry okay let’s go”

“Alright but Leah’s coming with us and don’t try to argue with me”

“Damn right I’m coming”

~When you two had made it there you and Leah had raced out of the car towards Edward Leah using her nose to help you to him you had finally found him and when you did he was about to step out into the sun you tackled him just in time.

“EDWARD DONT”

“Y/n you’re okay, you’re alive”

“Yeah no thanks to you”

“What?”

~You stepped away from him went back to Leah back to where you belonged

“Y/n why is she here?”

“Because Edward I’ve moved on I came here to save your sorry ass and now I’m going back to Leah and the pack I’m sorry but we weren’t good together you treated me bad and kept me from my friends I’m sorry but I can’t do this anymore I’m going back to Forks with Leah and I’m going to forget about you”

“Y/n please”

“Please nothing goodbye Edward I hope you treat partner better than you did me”

~When you two left you felt no guilt you were with the love of your life and and were finally happy and that’s how it should be

~fin~

[thrillridesz]

[ to start from the prologue - click here ]

n/a: unedited!

“Ah, I was just asking.” You said, trying not to let your smile waver as you watched Jacob’s shoulder drop, the expectant look in his eyes giving way to disappointment for just a split second before he smiled gently.

“Oh, okay.”

“I’d be down to hang out anytime you want by the way!” You hurriedly added in an attempt to clear the awkward tension in the air and Jacob must have sensed it when he gave you a reassuring look to alleviate your worries at the possibility of accidentally blowing him off.

“That would be great. I’d love that,” He said softly, his tone warm and kind and you felt your heart skip a beat. You had just met this guy but you already knew you liked him. There was something so soft spoken and almost angelic about his demeanor that you can’t help but want to get to know him a little bit better.

“Would you like to exchange numbers?”

“Sure thing.” He grinned and you handed him your phone for him to key his number in. As he did, you couldn’t help but notice how his soft hair fell over his eyes and how he seemed to simply radiate a naturally ethereal and soft aura. The butterflies in your stomach were beginning to flutter wildly and you wondered if this was what ‘having a crush’ felt like. You had never had one since fourth grade.

You still remembered how it all went down. Despite your best efforts to make him like you, all he did was trample heartlessly on your good intentions and feelings. You stiffened as you recalled how he had ran away from you the moment you presented him with a handmade card on Valentine’s Day which you had spent a lot of time designing. The process had been gruelling for a young kid your age, to stay up late just to get yourself covered in glitter, glue and paint only to be rejected without even an answer. That day, you had felt so devastated and upset that you refused to even eat dinner until your grandmother threatened to bust down your door herself.

Over time, you kept the memory at the back of your mind, refusing to remember as you chose to place your focus on things that more greatly deserved your attention. Was one guy really going to change all of that? It felt a little ridiculous, seeing that you have just met Jacob but you could feel that was this sort of chemistry between the two of you. There was something so innately pure about him that you really liked. He exuded such warmth, unlike the boys you’d usually meet. This was one boy you could seriously like.

“Y/n? Y/n?”

You shook out of your daze and realised that Jacob was peering down at you curiously and you felt the embarrassment start to creep in.

“Sorry, were you saying anything?’

“Um, I was asking if you wanted me to key my number into your phone as well.” He said, looking a little confused. “Was there something on your mind?”

“Ah, it’s just… School.” You laughed it off and he chuckled, a deep yet soft laugh coming from within his chest.

“I can relate! I have that expression when I think of school as well.”

Pressing your number into his contacts, you handed his phone back to him and he smiled, “I’ll text you soon.”

“Didn’t he say he was going to text?” You wondered as you stared at your phone for the nth time.

The subway train slowed to a stop and as you alighted, you kept your eyes glued to your phone, feeling your heart sink with each passing hour. Even as you slipped it into your pocket, you could feel yourself being on high alert for any notifications, pings or vibration. As you walked down the streets and felt the slightest tremor, you could feel the anticipation coursing through your veins as you checked the notifications only to sigh deeply.

[ (1) notification from emma🔥 ]

hey are you there yet? i might be a lil late

yeah im actually already here

You texted back, pushing open the double doors to find the place still relatively calm and serene. There wasn’t anyone else except for an eldery couple at the booth in the far corner and a hooded figure hunched over a chocolate smoothie by the bar. The lunch crowd wouldn’t be here until another half an hour so it was plenty of time for you to relax and prepare yourself for an afternoon of unadulterated chaos and rushing lunch orders.

As you tapped your employee card against the electronic reader, you barely noticed someone creeping behind you and before you knew it…

“Y/n!”

“Oh! Fu- Kevin!” You scolded, slapping him lightly on the back as the boy doubled back, shaking with laughter. Your phone had clattered to the ground as you jumped and immediately, you doved for it, inspecting it for any damage and turning to glare at him.

“You… You should have seen your face! I’m dying!” He wheezed, his laughs almost coming out in pants at this point.

“Ugh, go annoy someone else.” You rolled your eyes, pushing past him while he trailed behind you.

“C’mon, it was just a joke.” He said, following you out to the cash register where you started your first duty of counting all the money in the till. Leaning on his elbows, he peered up at you curiously. “You’re not mad at me, are you?”

“I’m not that petty, Kevin.”

“Didn’t think you were,” he grinned and as your phone vibrated for the second time, you rushed to check it again, the excitement in your expression not going unnoticed by Kevin. As you deflated and stuffed your phone back into your pocket and resumed your duty of counting the notes, he asked, “Who was that?”

You purse your lips. “Just Emma telling me that she might be really late.”

“Huh. You were clearly expecting someone else to text you, I can see it. Come on, spill.” He said, his voice bearing a teasing tilt to it and you knew you could hide nothing from him.

Kevin was a friend you knew since you were in first grade. The two of you had hit it off almost immediately and grew to become a very close duo. In a way, he was the Watson to your Sherlock, the Joey to your Chandler, the Key to your Peele… You get the idea. He was your closest friend, someone you could confide in without needing to fear any judgement on his part. He was someone you told your deepest darkest secrets to, even ones that you kept from everyone else so that only the both of you knew about it. The bond the two of you shared was strong and almost unbreakable and there was practically nothing that would escape the notice of either of you.

“It’s just some guy.” You relented, feeling the heat on your face coming back.

“A guy huh?” Kevin mumbled, his expression one of mild surprise and something you couldn’t quite pinpoint. “Not going to lie, I didn’t expect that.”

“Why not?”

“I don’t know, you’ve always been so invested in school and school only.” He shrugged before continuing, “When did you meet him? Where is he from?”

“Firstly, I’m not always ‘so invested in school and school only’. Let’s make that clear,” You retorted, “I met him yesterday at the bleachers before class so he’s from our school.”

“Interesting. What’s his name? Maybe I know him.”

“Jacob. Jacob Bae.”

“Wow, you even know his last name?”

“That’s what he keyed into my phone, dumbass. I’m not a stalker.” You rolled your eyes, showing him the contact information which he squinted at.

“Why didn’t you tell me about this yesterday?” He asked, frowning.

“We didn’t have a chance to talk. You had extra classes, Belle wasn’t in school and Simmi had some debate club meeting.” You replied nonchalantly, slipping the money back into the register.

“Still.”

“Alright fine, stop acting like such a dad.” You laughed, patting him on the back and his eyes darkened for a second before he reverted back to his previous carefree state.

“By the way, didn’t Bec say we’re expecting someone new today?” Kevin asked as he disappeared into the back of the house. You nodded, rearranging and organising the condiment bottles by the kitchen counter.

“Yeah, we are. They should be here any time soon.”

“Sorry, I’m new here. This is my first day on the job, do you work here?” A voice asked as you kept your head down, focused on the task at hand. That must be the new guy, you thought.

“Ah yeah, I do! You must be-” The smile on your face fell sharply as you saw who was in front of you.

The guy in front of you stared back, eyes wide with a mixture of shock and surprise in his expression as his mouth hung open. He was tall and had a lean figure with a handsome face that you would have recognised anywhere or rather anyone from school would have recognised, not just you.

He was the school football team’s quarterback and also the one who had broken your heart way back in first grade - Lee Juyeon.

“You… Y/n…”

“He’s here?” Kevin called from the kitchen, jogging out from the kitchen with a bright smile, ready to greet the new arrival only to skid to an abrupt stop as he saw who it was. His reaction practically mirrored yours and quickly, the smile disappeared as he stepped forward, his eyes blazing with barely concealed irritation.

“What are you doing here?” He asked Juyeon, who looked extremely ill at ease.

“I-”

“Ah, yes! You’re here! Juyeon, is that right? I see you’ve met my other two servers?” Bec, the restaurant manager interrupted as she walked forward, blissfully unaware of what she had just walked in on and shook his hand. There was still a startled, ‘deer caught in headlights’ look on Juyeon’s face as he shook her hand weakly, unable to get a word out.

“Y-yeah…”

“Excellent! Come with me, let’s get you settled here. You all will have a lot of time to socialise later, don’t worry.” She winked and you exchanged a look with Kevin that very clearly indicated that none of you wanted to have anything to do with Juyeon. The quarterback casted the both of you a nervous glance which neither of you returned before he followed Bec into the employees’ room. There was no time for any conversation as the two of them disappeared through the doors and immediately, you and Kevin erupted.

“Why the fuck is he here-”

“Of all people-”

You drew in a deep breath as you rubbed your hands over your face. “Ugh, why is this happening?”

Kevin placed a hand on your shoulder gently, concerned. “You okay?”

“Yeah, I’ll be fine.” You sighed. How ironic to have finally run into Juyeon in a place you’d never expect to run into him ever. You could still recall that very day…

Shaking your head, you shook the thought out of your head. No, you can’t. It’s best to keep these memories buried.

“I don’t get it. I’ve been trying all these years to avoid him and now I meet him here?!”

“Yeah, I know. I totally get it…” Kevin coaxed, his voice soothing and reassuring. You looked up at him and instantly, you knew that the both of you still remembered very clearly what had happened that day despite your best efforts to forget that embarrassing moment.

You had given him your handmade card that first grader you had stayed up to craft and instead of even giving you a proper answer, he had chosen to run away in front of everyone else. When you tried to talk to him, all he did was shy away and refuse to even utter a single word to you which would always hurt extra bad whenever you saw him getting along with everyone else in elementary school. In a way, his reactions had a domino effect such that other kids who were also his friends began to catch on to what he was doing and started to follow suit. The only friend you had with you then was just Kevin. Eventually when everyone in the same grade progressed onto middle school and subsequently high school, you tried everything in your power to avoid Juyeon at all costs.

You would never join any clubs he was in, you would not sit in the same area as he did when it came to lunchtime and you would not sign up for the same classes in the same time slot as he did. When you said ‘everything in your power’, you quite literally meant ‘everything in your power’.

Till today, the memory of it still haunts you one way or another. On one hand, it wasn’t really a particularly traumatising experience but on another, it totally was. What he did totally trashed your confidence and it even made you swear off crushes until well, maybe recently… But none of that mattered. Here he was in the flesh, at your workplace of all places and you are now expected to work with him? How bad can your luck get?

As lunch service began and the crowd began to stream in, you tried your hardest to avoid him as well, moving away whenever he came close. Kevin, knowing what your agenda was, made every effort to minimise any interactions between the two of you which you were also extremely grateful for. This was what best friends were for, and perhaps your luck wasn’t so terrible after all because Bec had him attached to Emma for most of the time thereby further minimising any form of potential contact or communication.

For the rest of service whenever you had to pass by Juyeon, you never once lifted your gaze to look him in the eye or face to face. You could feel his eyes on you and it practically took everything in your power to not look back or do anything that could possibly give him a signal that you were open to a conversation or any form of interaction. Whenever he walked into the kitchen, you would leave and when he came near, you would retreat. It was like avoiding the plague. It didn’t matter to you how hectic lunch service was when your heart and mind was so preoccupied with Juyeon’s presence in the same confined place.

Why had he come? Why here of all places? Why this job?

There were so many questions that floated around in your mind and before you knew it, the shift had ended. Before Bec could even dismiss you, you bolted and made a run for the employees’ room and as you made your escape, you could see Juyeon looking at you from the corner of your eye. Once you were in the safety of the employees’ room, you breathed a huge sigh of relief and realised the tension in your shoulders dissipated as well as you did.

What a service. Was it because Juyeon was there that you barely felt like any time passed at all? You must have been so caught up and self conscious with him around that it didn’t even feel like an entire afternoon had just passed.

Closing your eyes, you leaned your head against the cold metal of the locker door. As much as you hated to admit it, he was still so deeply attractive to you even after all these years. It wasn’t like you hated him but you definitely did try to. After all, it would have been so much easier to avoid someone you truly hated.

Whipping out your phone, you immediately perked up as you scrolled through the notifications.

[ (1) notification from Jacob Bae ]

hey y/n, i was wondering if you wanted to hang out later for dinner? at bloom mall?

The message was sent more than an hour ago and you could have kicked yourself for missing it. What if he no longer wanted to hang out? Was it still too late to reply?

You could help but smile to yourself as you recalled the moment the both of you had shared yesterday. Though brief, you really did feel a connection. Everything about him was so sweet, innocent and angel-like. All in all, he was your ideal type unlike a certain someone…

A knock on the door almost made you drop your phone and your heart was in your mouth as the knob turned.

“Y/n? You still here?” Emma’s voice could be heard and you felt your heart relax.

“Yeah, I am!” You answered, walking towards her. “What’s up?”

“Can I ask you for a favour? Pretty please?”

“What is it?”

“Could you please help me coach that new guy on how to refill and operate the sanitising machines? I would have done it but I really have to rush to meet my boyfriend for our anniversary dinner and I might be late!” She pleaded, clasping both hands in front of you in a begging motion.

Instantly, your heart dropped and frantically, you tried to deflect her request.

“Can’t you just ask Kevin?”

“Bec has him clocking in for an additional hour because supposedly, Dana would be coming in late due to traffic. If you’re worried that it would be awkward, it’s not! Kevin will be there, I know how close you guys are and that Juyeon guy is actually super easy going and I think you two would get along really well!” She said with so much vindication that you wanted to laugh but covered it up quickly with a cough.

“Would you please do me this favour?” Emma  asked once more. “I mean… Don’t feel pressured! I understand that you might have plans so if you can’t, don’t feel worried. If you do though, I will literally buy you breakfast, lunch or dinner… Your choice!”

You looked at her with a defeated expression on your face. Do you tell her no and go on your dinner date with the new guy in town, Jacob whom you have a budding crush on? Or do you agree to help coach Juyeon as a favour to Emma and stay behind for an additional hour with Juyeon and Kevin in the diner, thereby forgoing your date?

What will you do?

➳ Say no

➳ Agree to help