#im just sad sorry. just thinking maybe i should quit writing for good when nothing ever comes out of it anyways

[the-kipsabian]

its just difficult to believe that anyone will ever look at me and think im a writer first and everything else second tbh

[otsukare-katsukare]

Hiii since you said you were interested in what others think about the whole Sami/Bron/MITB situation.... I have thoughts and it's a bit much to write in the comments so, Here goes... (this isn't even all the thoughts BTW 😂

@thesmallworldofsamizayn I got to agree a bit there, with your statement of Bron being unstoppable and Sami being the underdog, as well as getting sick of the comments being made about Sami being the Champ. Usually I don't really give into or pay much attention to all the talk, and if I do, it only makes me want to fight harder, but I'll be honest; this time round, Sami doesn't NEED the belt...

He's good enough on his own and he's proven it time and time again. It was a nice icing on the cake type situation (having the belt), but, the point is that there is and was plenty of delicious cake already there! (if that makes any sense) So bottom line, he'll survive without it, he can survive without it. If anything, it'll probably light a bigger fire under him, reigniting that fiery passion of his. The one that keeps drawing us to him and into his world.

Honestly, this is going to sound so bad, but I won't be overly upset if/when Sami drops the belt (note I too am an avid Sami fan and I'd be a bit sad, but not devastated). To me (personally), before he won the IC championship, and even though he had more loses than wins, he was more intriguing to watch. Idk why, and may be it's just me atm, after that long drawn out (weeksss of) Alpha Academy saga - may be that's what's got me feeling this way fn...

A few weeks ago I would have said that they are building up to Chad winning it, but now that Bron and Sheamus are involved who knows the hands the title will eventually fall into. Also, it's going to be hard to get Sami to drop the belt this quick (even though it's been what? A couple of months now already?) when it clearly (you can SEE it) means so much to him... It'll be hard but they'll eventually have to do it. So may be MITB will be it.

Also got to agree a bit here with @shanie too, I would love to see Sami get involved in the BL saga and if there's anyone who believes in redemption, always seeing the good in people, fighting for the greater good, and what's good and right AND against all odds, it's Sami Zayn. He's got the innate need to rescue people out of toxic situations and to fix said situation. So he would definitely fit the narrative if they decide to insert him into it.

BUT the big issue is with the fans. Again. There's quite certainly going to be a LOT of hate if this happens. I'm already hearing rumblings of people unhappy with just the mere thought of it. Saying he's not family so why is he involving himself in it, as much as that's true, have they completely forgotten that he in fact was a THE 'honorary Uce'? The closest an 'outsider' has ever gotten to the family or being 'family'? Heck he almost became 'Sami Uso'.

So in the end people can and will make up their own minds and there nothing anyone can do about it. And also in the end each to their own I guess... (BTW people need to chill out and remember this is fiction NOT real life 😭)

Anywayy just a few of my thoughts....sorry about the long winded answer 😂😅

(no pressure to to respond to this BTW 😊

🐨

hello! thank you very much for these detailed thoughts. youve actually articulated a lot of what i was feeling. first, the fact that a) i dont like seeing fans bitch about sami and b) i especially dont like it when they're kind of right. it is someone else's turn, and maybe yeah that person should have been chad. i was more than ready for it to be chad at catc personally. im not too mad that it's gone in a different direction cause it does actually look like they have other storyline ideas for chad now, but as far as sami's concerned, yeah the belt isn't doing anything more for him now than it has till this point. it's weird to think he hasn't held a title as a face since the nxt championship 10 years ago. but thinking back on that, and everything since, everything he's been so good at - yeah, im not sure that long term champion is the right look on him! he won it in 2014 and lost it devastatingly to kevin 2 months later, and i would not have wanted that to happen any other way.

thing is, i will be sad if sami loses to bron at mitb. especially if he loses clean, not unlike he did to kevin all those years ago, futilely continuing to kick out long after he should have quit until he's physically incapable of doing so. what's maybe harder to explain as a wrestling fan is that i want to be sad about sami zayn. i like those heavy emotions, i like feeling like my favourite character can't catch a break. that's the entire essence of the underdog appeal. further to that, this is kind of the state im most used to and therefore most comfortable in when it comes to characters im invested in. in the words of mitski, i bet on losing dogs. and sami winning was an incredible feeling and so deserved, but i really don't mind him losing! he's both more compelling overall and gets more interesting stories, and just inspires so much sympathy in that position. (look i also like seeing him in pain i'll say it. he clearly likes acting being in pain just as much so everyone's happy i think)

then there's the bloodline and yeah, i'd sit up to watch sami back with those guys especially roman. im apparently one of the few people who really doesn't want roman to come back as a face no matter how much the fans cheer him, but if he is going to have a face turn, it's got to involve sami god damn it. i was just talking with @milk-crater about this, how it makes more sense with sami being a bit more removed, because that makes him a better person to forgive roman, and to be his moral guide. also it's sami, if anyone in all pro wrestling would reach out a hand to a genuienly remorseful roman reigns it's him. all that and the two just have such great chemistry, and it was the baseline for everything that made the honorary uce arc so fantastic and beloved, and it'd be nice to come back to some of that. maybe show these smarks what they've forgotten about why sami is the absolute best again.

thanks again for hopping in my inbox and never worry about being long winded. anyone who's ever been in a conversation with me knows im the last person to take issue with that!

[hyunjinspark]

hello! i'm sorry if this may sound very weird since i don't know you personally, but i just wanted to say that your writing is absolutely beautiful and you actually inspire me a lot.

i've honestly read many books and fics but literally nothing tops slwy. slwy has a special place in my heart seriously, and i really wish you the best on it and i hope many people read it and i'm always gonna recommend it to any hyunjin stan who's trying to find fics to read. you're a really great writer please know that, and thank you for putting effort on it and taking your time on it, even though i already want chap 19 to be out, i don't want to rush things out and i'd say that you should take your sweet time on it!

this may sound crazy but i've literally told some of my friends about it even though they don't read fics 😭 i literally love it so much and i actually mean it when i say this. please know that many people actually support you and love what you're doing, so please never ever give up. even though sometimes you might go through hard times that makes you think about quitting or maybe you're not motivated anymore, you should always know that we (your supporters) are gonna support you no matter what and i'm so happy i actually found you because you're ACTUALLY so talented and i really hope you know that.

and about chap 18 of slwy, I LITERALLY SCREAMED WHEN IT CAME OUT!

i was so happy you don't understand, i literally kept telling my friends about it the day you said that it's coming out this month! and it's so fucking good seriously, like the storyline is actually so good and the fact that you connect some chapters with the others just shows how much of a good author you are. hyunjin is actually very misunderstood in this story and it's making me so sad 😭 even though i actually did kinda hate his behavior before this chapter.. I LITERALLY FEEL SO BAD FOR HIM NOW

honestly i actually understand both hyunjin and y though. hyunjin is trying to protect yn at all cost because he doesn't want her to suffer the way kairi suffered with chan, but he also doesn't want to let go of her because he actually loves her so much. and for yn, i also understand her because she probably doesn't understand how much she'd actually go though if she dates hyunjin, but since she loves him so much she literally thinks that she doesn't care about anything and just wants to be with hyunjin. and i understand why she's mad because literally he gave her no explanation when he left and literally didn't even try to explain himself or give a reason beforehand which broke her a lot :(

anyways, we should actually thank you for being such a great author and i really love and enjoy reading slwy AND I CANT WAIT FOR THE NEXT CHAP ALREADY 😭 and i’m actually hoping like REALLY hoping that in the future you actually publish a book about this because this is just pure perfection, and all of this is coming from my heart really ❤️

hello 👋🏻 that doesn’t sound weird at all, in fact, i appreciate that so much. i love that you recommend it to others, that is so sweet. your entire message is just such a heartfelt sentiment ! wow and none of that sounds crazy dw. i share fics with my non-fic friends all the time, it’s the fun of it ☺️

you understand both their characters so well ! he’s definitely misunderstood at this point. yn certainly doesn’t know the extent of how had it could be but like you said, she also doesn’t care about it so it’s impossible for her to fathom why he’s so hellbent against it :(

thank you so much, love, this is so genuine and im reallly feeling blessed. im happy you found me too

[fr3akinthecorner]

hey qt sorry 4 ignoring u its ok are u safe? I feel kind of safe why? bc I'm just in my room why nvm what nvm tell me this phone is heavy you're very beautiful I love u ok he's dead shirogane no! I said sorry he's not even here what?? that wasn't him I'm getting confused now ok so no it was jisung oh ok why did he get mad? bc he's stupid why did u call shirogane? bc I thought he got mad at me oh on

ok so ur just chilling with broken hands? yea I guess they must really be broken are u ok? u look nervous I'm fine... ok so why couldn't u write earlier? idk it was writers block tbh kinda frustrating do u like ur writing? yea I suppose but it's nothing special to me I mean... it's important u always say the right things thank u thats really sweet I always feel like I'm gonna fuck up when I talk to u why? bc ur a boy I like oh so

u like me? yea whole lot turn ur clicks off no u have changed quite a bit u used to be funnier oh ok well im not in a good mood... oh ok ao

so u like shirogane more than me? I haven't decided I mean it's hard for me to choose I thought u knew that? I do know that but you're so boring now when u play Manga u used to be more exciting oh well if u don't like me anymore then just stop talking to me see!! that's what I mean that's what I like ok so I did like it until u fixed the typo yea but u didn't move either ok so ur always right right? no promise it's not like that do u like your city? they don't like me so I say no why don't they like u? they don't say why ok so ur sad? yes why? could be any reason but idk I think shirogane knows why oh ok do u want to talk to him instead no we can talk but why are u being so mean to me? bc ur different now... what u used to be a while lot meaner when ur saying that u was different really? yes u sent me to hell really? yes lol ur funny that was even funny ok.... why are u upset im upset bc u told me to be a boy all day and it wasn't even true but it kinda makes sense now why? I'm sorry do u want to stop? not really u want to get high? why does it matter? ur fighting to look good I know u are I guess why are u upset bc u upset me very much I feel like your little sister or something u are my little sister... no? I don't think I am yes u are fr but ur not how am I your sister? x

bc u are! fr fr? yes ok then thata why I'm upset I feel a lot of pressure from u to be someone whose always doing and being things exactly how u want them to be ok so ur just gonna type type type and not read I don't need to read ok well maybe u should why? bc there's something up there it says I love u oh ok do u love me too yes but right now it's hard what? to love u why? bc u were so insulting and mean to me but I don't even remember about what ok so ur just being childish maybe... ur a child this isn't fun im going to bed goodnight keeho wait ily ily 2💝

[primofate]

im feeling kinda akward since its my first time requesting,i really really really like your writings and im wondering if you could do some angst for albedo, anything you feel like tbh, but if may i be a little selfish i was thinking on something like he hurt you, so you break up with him or maybe he break up with you and regret later, im in love with the genius and your writings so why not lol, hope you are doing well, xoxoxooxox

Thanks for the request anon. <3 Sorry it took so long, but I’m feeling angst today so here goes. Let me know what you think <3

QUEUED POST

Scenario: Breaking up

Characters: gn! reader x Albedo

Warnings: angst, break ups, regrets, did I say angst?

Categories: angst in Part 1, comfort in Part 2 (It was getting too long so split it into two parts)

Read: (Part 2) (Part 3 - Final)

Albedo

Alone.

These days you found yourself alone in your shared home. It had been nearly a year since the two of you decided to live together. Maybe that was a bad idea.

You were smitten. He was such an intelligent man, and truth be told you loved how his mind worked. He was silent and mostly kept to himself at first, but with you, there were subtle touches, fleeting kisses. Oh and his eyes, the way his eyes brightened or the way his lips turned up at the sight of you. The way he held you close at nights, up until the morning.

Gone were those days. 

He was hardly home. The intelligent man you had fallen in love with, was also a workaholic. Perhaps you should’ve seen it coming. There were so many signs.

Maybe he changed. Maybe you changed. But the little things weren’t enough anymore. He came home just to sleep and wake up, and he was off again. 

“Bedo, have you got some time off on the weekend? We haven’t been up to Starsnatch Cliff in a while,” you had prodded him a few days ago, wondering if the problem would be solved if you made the first move. 

“Sorry, Y/N, we’re just about to discover more about the properties of electro crystals... It’ll be useful if we want to sustain higher energy concentrations on...” and just like that he had gone off a tangent explaining the whole thing. You smiled a little, it was still endearing how excited he got discussing those things. 

But you couldn’t help but be lonely at how he seemed to love his research more than you. 

‘Maybe I just need to be more proactive. That’s it! I’ll go and visit him at the lab today!’ Surprising him was one of the things that you had always wanted to do. But not a lot of things got past Albedo. He was observant like that. You made a quick run to the bakery, getting him some croissants and welcomed yourself into the Favonius Headquarters. 

You looked up at the sign on his laboratory door. That sign was always there though, Klee had told you about it, and Sucrose had also talked about it once or twice before, telling you that it wouldn’t be a good idea to go in if the sign was up. But when was it ever down? So, you shrugged, and pushed the door open with a wide smile.

“What are you doing here?!” There’s a wild look in Albedo’s eyes the moment you step in. He didn’t appreciate being disturbed. You tilted your head a little at his reaction, you weren’t expecting that.

“Oh, since you’ve been so busy these days I just thought I’d drop by and give you something to--”

“Y/N, did you not see the sign on the door? No disturbances, even from you,”

“I’ll just be quick, I’m just dropping this off,” you lift the paper bag from the bakery and lay it down on the nearest table. Albedo closes his eyes with a sigh. 

“...We’re working on something dangerous right now, I don’t have time to eat. Please take it back,”

Surprisingly, you obey quite quickly, and take the paper bag back into your hands. Annoyance start to pulse in your veins. “Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

Sucrose had been standing there the whole time, and you can see the slight wince on her face at your cold statement... But Albedo had returned it ten fold, snapping an answer back. “Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

You didn’t expect how much it would sting. Your shoulders slump downwards at the realization that this... had gone too far. You couldn’t take it anymore. Sucrose opens her mouth, but doesn’t know what to say looking back and forth between you and Albedo. 

The Kreideprinz had continued with his task as if nothing had happened at all, but he knew what he said. He didn’t want any interferences nor accidents happening in the lab and that was the only thing he cared about at the moment. 

Your foot moves to step back, but your eyes are glued to Albedo. You can only see his back. His hair tied up neatly, the shoulders that you loved to wrap your arms around and his hands that were always gentle. You took a good look, drinking the whole scene in like you hadn’t had a drop of water in days. 

This was the last time you would lay eyes on him and it broke you into so many pieces. You turned away without another word, Sucrose staring at the door, before she decided that she needed to follow you. “I-I’ll be back, Master Albedo,” she rarely ever abandoned an experiment, but she knew that you needed a friend right now. 

Ironic, because it should have been Albedo running after you, but instead the green-haired girl caught up to you just as you reached the fountain in the middle of Mondstadt. “Y/N!” she jogs, and stops when you do as you hear your name.

Tears prickled your cheeks, but they were more of frustration than sadness. You stand there for a moment, drying your tears and turning around towards Sucrose, gaze on the pavement. “Y/N...” Sucrose approaches carefully, hand resting on your shoulder.

“...I don’t know anything other than Albedo, Sucrose,” you start, a curtain of memories flashing through your mind. “...Without him, there isn’t much reason for me to stay in Mondstadt,” Sucrose shakes her head rather hastily. “H-He’s just... a little occupied right now, Y/N, I’m sure he doesn’t mean what he said,” You close your eyes, the scene repeating in your head.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

A hard lump forms on your throat at how hard you try not to sob. How hard you try to keep yourself together and Sucrose sees it from the way your lips tremble. “Sucrose, please watch over him,” and that is also the last that Sucrose sees of you. 

That night, Albedo arrives home exhausted, just as he always does. But now that he was home, he could at least expect a warm meal and a warm hug. A soft smile tugs on his lips at the thought.

When he turned the lights on, he was met with a strange stillness instead. His hand stays on the switch as his eyes scan the living room. It was...quiet. There were no plates on the table, and there were no sounds from the kitchen.

Deep in the pits of his stomach there’s an anxiety that starts bubbling up. He brushes it off, opting instead to check the kitchen. “Y/N?”

Empty. 

His footsteps hasten as he opens the bedroom door, expecting you to be curled up there, asleep. 

Empty.

Albedo takes in a shaky breath. You were probably just out in town, doing some late night shopping. Yeah, that’s it, perhaps you just didn’t have enough ingredients for dinner today and--his eyes land on the bedside table.

The photo frame is gone. The photo of the two of you standing side by side together with comfortable smiles on your faces, his hand on your waist, and the house on the background. 

He throws open the closet doors. Your clothes are gone. Your shoes are gone. Even your scent seemed to have disappeared. The anxiety that was once a small bubble in his stomach had started to claw it’s way out, wrenching his heart in places that he didn’t know could hurt. The tears pooling in his eyes were so foreign that he didn’t even know what was happening until he hears himself gasp back a sob.

You’re gone. 

Suddenly it was so hard to breathe, but he pulls himself up and out the door. There’s no way. Where would you go? Perhaps you were just around Mondstadt, trying to get a breath of fresh air to calm your nerves. He searches everywhere. The church, the tavern, the Good Hunter and even atop the rooftop of the Favonius Headquarters. There was a decent view of the city there, and his eyes roam the streets, just to get a glimpse of you.

“...Please...” There’s another lump in his throat, his eyes dart around looking for any small sign of you. 

“Albedo? Tired?” you ask as he returns home one day. He merely lets out a small “Mm,” and pulls a chair out from the dining table to sit on. You walk into the kitchen to fetch him a cup of tea, and he snatches your hand to press a soft kiss on the back of it. “Thank you, love,” 

“...Please!” his grip on the stone walls of the rooftop tighten. His vision blurs.

“Al! Don’t do that!” you try to swat his hand away from the pot, a short laugh coming off of your lips at how mischievous he could be sometimes, trying to dip his finger into the sauce. He has a grin on his face as he successfully tastes the sauce off his finger, making a sound of approval as he draws you in for a light kiss on your forehead, “It’s good, as always,” 

His legs buckle, and he finds himself on his knees, hands fisted upon the cold stone wall. “At least tell me where you've gone! I can’t--” he doesn’t know when the last time he cried was, but whenever it was, he doesn’t remember it to be this bad. The pain was unlike any injury he had, it grasped so tightly at his heart.

“Anything else you want me to do? Maybe disappear so I don’t bother you or your research so much?”

“Yes, Y/N, that would be excellent, don’t get in the way. Stop being irritating at the wrong moment,”

He furiously shakes his head because he knows that it was his fault. “I didn’t mean it, please give them back,” as if there was someone else who took you away. As if there was a God listening to him right now. 

He realizes that the worst of it was not that you had left, but that you had left no traces of you behind. No photo. Not a piece of clothing. Not a trace of your existence.

Nothing for him to hold on to.

That night, he dragged himself back home. Face flushed and hot from the tears he had shed and the ones he was attempting to hold back.

That night, he painfully got into bed.

Alone.

Taglist:  @larkspyrr @rim0na @sweeti-pie @l3mon-mxshroom @hai-q-haikyuu @tkshoki @kyquu @KimbapSana @fanfictionenthusiast

Crossed out means I couldn’t tag you! Sorry!

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[kirozai]

First of all I'm really sorry to ask you to write about this but can of please write : the Archons and the reader are like having a small banquet and Baal's servant actually took or mix the wrong ingredients so the God! Reader got poison and wake up not so long after

The reason why i said im sorry earlier bcs i just randomly found this when I was searching for genshin x reader and I found this Sagau but it didn't got saved sadly so until now I'm still searching for it sad yes that's the reason why now I'm obsessed with SAGAU genshin

aaaaa im kinda iffy on this stuff as you may or may not know but since your intentions are pure ill do it

banquet of mistakes

synopsis: the results of the deadly mistake venti, zhongli, and baal make. (the aftermath of the archons fucking up)

CW: hurt/comfort, religious themes, cult au, sagau, self awareness, yandere themes, profanity

type of reader: gn!reader, kindbutkindasalty!reader, darling!reader

“do you believe in the unknown? or does it have to be seen to believe?”

gosh how to even begin this?

baal

how did this happen? everything was so perfect but it just had to be one of hers that messed up. the shame from the others were unbearable and not to mention… you. you were still in a sleep

it’s unbearable for her, but the constant stares and guilt keep her up at night. why did it have to be you who got poisoned? and why did it have to be one of HER servants who messed up

the servant was captured and their punishment will be chosen by you, not only that her punishment, she hopes that you can still love her, still love her like you used to.

after you woke up, she pushed you to drink water, partially because she didn’t want you to be dehydrated, and another part is that she doesn’t want to hear what come out of your mouth.

you are a kind god. yet she can’t help but worry.

“it’s okay baal. thanking you for the apologies but it was a mistake, also please let the servant go zhongli.”

it’s.. okay? it’s. okay.. it’s okay!

god she didn’t expect to hear that!

trust that now, you precautions will be much higher. there will be no chance at all for you getting sick. and also, during the recovery process, expect her to be at your care no matter what.

zhongli

something was.. off. but he couldn’t sense it. nothing seemed wrong. so why was he feeling this way?

he should’ve listened to his gut. and maybe, just maybe. you wouldn’t be completely passed out from that mortal sin the servant committed.

how could baal let this happen? does she not train her servants. no zhongli knew in the beginning there should be no one but him to care for your goods.

every second that went by he wanted to rip the servant to shreds. but he knew how you would think about it. you never really enjoyed them doing anything without your permission.

he blames baal for most of it, yet he himself should’ve known and listened to himself. and he should’ve listend to himself to rip the servant to shreds anyways because he would be going punishment-free!

your kindness, he always said, was given to the wrong people.

he was one who was there when you were waking up.

he has this habit where he sorts of, bombards you with questions.

“are you alright?”

“how are you feeling?”

“do you need anything”

it takes a bit for things to go back to normal, everyone is on alert ready for it if it comes. yet through your words, things come back in to place.

venti

i’d like to say venti is probably the most clear-headed out of the three in my opinion.

with the only one with some type of common sense in the situation, he finds himself trying to calm the archons and himself, without getting sliced by lightning or thrown a meteor at.

the “poison” was just an ingredient that you reacted negatively to.

you’d be okay. he knew that, you were strong.

he plays soft harp music while watching over you.

he’s right you know?? it really wasn’t that bad i mean to be honest, you were only out for a couple hours.

he still is quite mad at baal and the servant though.

he agrees with zhongli that they both should get harsher punishments.

but, who is he to question your word?

he tastes your food a bit first, and although getting scolded is a pain, at least he knows the foods you eat are safe.

just this once though. he will only be normal once, and if it happens again? the winds of teyvat won’t be the ones you and venti enjoy walking in.

holy cheese this was really long and i just noticed my last post was eleven days ago…

kirozai out!

tips! (very appreciated!)

[winter-soldier-vibes]

Can I request HSP + depression reader (who thinks they are just weak and being crybaby) x Bucky, please? I understand you are super busy right now and I didn’t mean to rush you or anything but I'm just struggling with both HSP and depression and couldn’t help but send it right now. No need to hurry, just when you are free and maybe when you had nothing to write. Thank you and I love you!

Thank you for the request, I’m sorry it’s been a difficult time for you! I’m here if you need me and I hope that this helps!!! 

It’s called empathy

Bucky x reader

Word count: 1981

Warnings: depression, HSP (highly sensitive person), low self worth, negative self talk, swearing (that’s normal for me but this one’s a little extra), angst (more so internal idk if that needs a warning), fluff/comfort

Taglist: @buckys2thicc @babydaddy-buckybarnes @barnesplums @peggycarter-steverogers @mardema @abitgryffindorky @buckys-blue-eyes @strawberrimae @thatfangirl42 @freigeistundanderes @bucks-bunny @broadwaybabe18 @im-sick-of-failing

Taglist     Masterlist

--------------

Breathe in

Breathe out

In 

Out 

...in…

You felt a tear escape your eyes

Goddamn it

You didn’t want to cry, you couldn’t let yourself. It was stupid, it was just some shitty remark from someone when they were in a shitty mood, it wasn’t your fault, all that bullshit you tried to tell yourself. It never worked.

You were trying to control your breathing, looking up at the ceiling trying to will the tears away, biting your lip. You would not cry, not over this. Not over something that wasn’t worth your tears

Not when you didn’t even know what exactly you were crying over. 

Yet here you were, gripping the edge of the bathroom sink with white knuckles, looking up at the ceiling trying to keep the tears at bay. And it wasn’t working.

Weak sensitive piece of shit. 

What good were you to the team if you cry in the bathroom like a baby every time something remotely stressful happens? People usually cry when they're in pain or when they’re grieving - the only excuse you had was you were stressed or sad. 

You felt another few tears escape and you angrily swiped them away, cursing yourself for being so weak. 

You hated this, you hated yourself. You were so numb most of the time, especially when you were alone. You found yourself alone in your room with racing thoughts feeling like you were falling apart. Yet when you were alone you could only stare at the ceiling wondering if it would get any worse. 

The answer was usually yes.

Whenever you would go on missions with the team, you were able to push aside your stress. You had a job to do and you would do it. But when the mission was over and you were walking back through the rubble - seeing all the blood, destruction, fear - then it would start to get to you. You would panic, you would feel tears cloud your vision. Tears for those you were leaving behind, and those who had nowhere to go, those who lost someone. That was understandable. 

It seemed to affect you more than the others though. It was understandable to be moved by so much destruction. But for you everyone felt like someone you had known and loved. 

You could feel the grief in those left behind, feel the sadness and pain that they were going through. 

The same was true when you weren’t on missions. When those who were on them would come back. Whether they were injured or their eyes were saddened - you knew when a mission was rough. You would listen, you would be there for people. It was easy to talk to you, and you were very wise. 

But it still overwhelmed you. You couldn’t say no, you didn’t want to. You wanted to help but it would be so emotionally taxing for you. So behind closed doors, you would break. Be there for others, listen when they need to talk, others come first - you took their emotional pain onto yourself. 

You were grateful that you could help - but in the process it was hurting you. 

You allowed yourself to feel sad when you were alone in your room. No one could see you be weak in the dark of your room. But you never cried much just from the pure exhaustion of your thoughts. Sometimes you wanted to, just feeling so incredibly empty that you just wanted to have an ugly crying session curled up in bed.

But you didn’t get to make that choice.

The crying wouldn’t come until the absolute worst times. If you had messed up on a mission, if Tony said something a little too harshly because to him everything was a joke, seeing something gruesome on a mission- whenever it came to someone else getting involved, the tears would come. Hell sometimes even being overwhelmed in public would be enough to start the waterworks. 

You always felt so fucking weak for it. The slightest environmental stressor could stress you out too much and move you to tears. You had no reason to be upset most of the time. But you would get angry at yourself for being upset, which would make you more upset that you couldn’t control it, making it harder to control.

It was a vicious cycle.

Lately it had been popping up more and more recently. Smaller things were upsetting you more than usual. You were becoming more sensitive to external stimuli and as a result, you spent as much time as you could in your room. You were embarrassed by yourself. Both by your emotions and by your inability to control them. 

This time you were just upset that you were upset. It had been a long night the day prior, just a lot of paperwork to do. There had been a mission earlier this week that you hadn’t been assigned to, but it had been brutal for everyone who had gone. So far today had been a normal day by anyone’s terms, an emotionally exhausting one for you. One of those where you woke up tired and the thoughts of another day were enough to draw you to tears. Nothing had even happened, but apparently nothing needed to happen. 

Your emotions came and went without your consent. 

You knew deep down it was probably some sort of emotional build up - that whole quote about bottling things up until they got to be too much - it happened every time but you still thought you could handle yourself better than that. You didn’t want to vent or be a problem to anyone. But when you are the emotional support for most of the team and you haven’t been able to get enough sleep or take time for yourself - you didn’t have much of a say as to when the bottle overflows.

A few more tears fell and you slammed your hand on the counter, wiping your tears angrily once more. “God fucking damn it why can’t you just stop fucking crying!” you exclaimed, feeling a few more tears falling “Weak piece of shit!” 

There was knocking on the door, pulling you out of your self deprecating thoughts. You gasped lightly, wiping your face again. 

Knock knock

You jumped a little, gasping slightly. No one was supposed to be here, it was the middle of the night. 

“Y/n? What’s going on in there? Are you alright?”

You took a shaky breath. Of course it would be Bucky who heard you. Why would it be anyone else?

“I’m fine Bucky, it’s late, you should go to sleep.”

“Then why are you still awake?” Bucky responded. You heard him sigh a little outside the door. “Come out here and tell me you’re okay.”

“Really Bucky?”

“Unless you want me to come in there, but I don’t think Stark would appreciate me breaking your door.”

You took a small breath and walked over to the door, opening it. You crossed your arms and met Bucky’s concerned eyes. “I’m fine, Bucky.”

Bucky sighed, taking in your appearance. Red eyes, flushed face, your hair was messy - you were definitely crying. He hated when you wouldn’t admit that you weren’t ok. “You know you don’t have to be, right?”

You clenched your jaw, trying to keep fresh tears from clouding your vision. “What?”

“You say you’re fine, you always say that you’re fine until you break. I heard you crying, I can see that you’re not feeling okay yet still you try to keep a brave face. And I just want you to know that you don’t have to always be okay.”

You let out a breath. “I - i…” you looked down and shook your head, lost for words. 

“Y/n, I’m not here to judge you. Can you try to tell me what’s wrong?”

“I don’t know,” you said looking up at him “It’s literally so stupid, Bucky.”

“Y/n, nothing you say right now is going to sound stupid. 

You shrugged your shoulders, still not quite meeting his eyes. “I don’t know, I just get so worked up sometimes, but it’s stupid. I tell myself I’m not going to be bothered and then I freak out again. The smallest things bother me and I get stressed out and then I cry like some stupid weak bitch. People have it worse than me, God, you have it worse than me. Everyone here has some sort of traumatic awful thing happen to them and then there’s me and I get sad because I see other people sad,” you were crying again and you wiped at your face, covering your eyes. “God Im so fucking stupid I -”

Bucky pulled you into his chest as you let out a sob. “You’re not stupid, y/n.”

“YES I AM. I get worked up over the smallest shit, I don’t listen when people tell me to take breaks, I take everything too personally and I can’t stop fucking crying when I don’t even know what the fuck is wrong!” you exclaimed, trying to push yourself away, ashamed.

Bucky held you tightly, not letting you go. “That’s not your fault. It’s not up to you how your feelings show up.”

“But I cry at the most stupid shit and I can’t control it.”

“You’re not supposed to know how to control it,” he said, pulling back to look at you. “Emotions can’t be controlled. They just happen and it’s rarely convenient.”

“Then why do I feel so weak? If this,” you gestured to yourself “is so goddamn normal then why isn’t everyone else breaking down every other day?” 

Bucky brushed some hair out of your face. “Your emotions are yours, no one else’s. No one has the right to tell you how to feel. Think of it this way - you can’t expect everyone to have the same amount of strength or stamina - no one has the same emotional response either. And that doesn’t make you weak, it makes you you.”

You shook your head. “I just feel so weak all the time.” 

“And I’m here to remind you that crying isn’t weak. You are not a weak person, you are not a bad person, you’re not any of those things your mind tells you. You’re a kind and thoughtful person. You put your heart into everything you do. You help everyone you can. Mourning someone else’s loss isn’t weakness. It’s called empathy.”

You took a small breath. “Then why does it hurt so goddamn much?”

“”I don’t know. And I can’t say for certain that you won’t always feel that way. But I know I can tell you that you aren’t weak, and I’ll be here every time you feel that you are.” 

You nodded your head slightly. “You don’t think I’m weak?” you asked quietly.

He pulled you back into a hug. “Not in the slightest, y/n.”

[silversatoru]

HOHO💖THANK YOU 💘 I was thinking one very Angst with Gojo, like.. He realizes he loves his best friend, but when he confesses they heavily reject him saying they could never trust him that way due to his womanizer self(?) and bc they love nanami,, like,, when they see him they're like 🎇💘MMHH YES, I feel awful but I love seeing gojo in pain for somewhat reason

Im so sorry😂🙏 if you don't want to write this, it's okay👌😌 thank you dear💖

too late

a/n: my past like 4 gojo asks have all been about him being a whore,,, y’all love to slander this man and see him in pain (me too)

synopsis: gojo loves you, you love nanami, things are messy 

t/w: angst, gojo is very sad

w/c: 1.4k

you’ve been gojo satoru’s best friend for as long as you can remember — two brainless jujutsu sorcerers who could never take anything seriously. the two of you together were simultaneously the biggest annoyance and also quite a force to be reckoned with. your abilities were no where near those of satoru, but you complimented him perfectly and no one stood a chance if the two of you were together — and you were always together.

in fact you were together right now, grabbing some food after effortlessly taking out some curses a few cities over. satoru enjoyed the sweeter things in life, downing a package of powdered-coated dough balls while you stuck to your savory bowl of spicy rice cakes. this was tradition for the two of you, sitting on a random bench somewhere in a random city munching on snacks and debriefing on the mission you’d just completed.

you loved it, and you loved satoru — like a brother, like a best friend, like a favorite teammate. you loved satoru but not in the way he loved you.

it was a recent realization, that he loved you in a romantic kind of way. he’d always just seen you as his best friend, but recently your eyes have sparkled a little more, your skin glowed a little brighter, and your voice sounded a little smoother when it flowed into his ears. it was right now, while he watched your sauce-covered lips suck down another rice cake, that he realized he wanted nothing more than to kiss you — right here and right in front of everyone. 

the only problem was, he had quite the history of being a womanizer. satoru went through women as if they were a one-time-use disposable product, and you were very aware of this. but none of those women were you, and he promised himself that he’d give you everything you deserved when he finally confessed. 

“can i have one?” you pointed to his near empty package of sweets and shook him out of his thoughts.

satoru wasn’t much for sharing, especially his desserts, but you were an exception. he plucked out a powdery ball (one that he knew was your favorite flavor) and popped it into your mouth. him hand-feeding you should have been weird, but you’ve been friends for so long that you didn’t think twice about it. you bit the sticky dough down between your teeth, a cheesy smile stretching across your face when you noticed he got your flavor right. 

“th-aanks,” you mumbled, mouth stuffed full of sugary confection. 

in the midst of your chewing, you felt a napkin swipe across your mouth to remove the excess powdered sugar. you eyed satoru suspiciously, starting to catch on to how overly-touchy he was being today. but he just shrugged, making snarky comments about how messy of an eater you were.

it wasn’t until the two of you finished your snacks and were walking through the city that you finally questioned him. he’d wrapped his arm through yours, pulling you close so you were walking right next to his side — his weirdly intimate actions today were starting to stack up. 

“what are you doing?” you peered up at him, giving your arm a small yank as you attempted (and failed) to put some space between the two of you. 

“that guy over there was checking you out,” he shamelessly pointed to a dark-haired man further up the street, his voice defensive. 

“okay, and? that bothers you-?” you yanked again, finally pulling your arm free of his embrace.

“no, but he looks like a weirdo, you deserve someone better than that,” he insisted, an evil grin on his face as he turned his pointer finger so it was facing himself. 

“like me!”

“oh, like nanami” 

your voices came out at the exact same time, but the content of your words could not have been more different. 

“nanami!?”

“you!?”

the two of you froze in the middle of the street, faces covered in equal amounts of shock and confusion. satoru had finally confessed his feelings to, and you’d just accidentally and unintentionally shut him down with one word — nanami.

“nanami?” he repeated again, an edge to his voice as he tried to protect his ego and mask his jealousy. 

“yeah, i- uh, i planned to tell you soon that we’ve been seeing each other recently. i had no idea that you-” you scrambled to explain the situation, trying not to let the hurt on your friend’s face get to you, “you’re with other women all the time satoru, how was i supposed to know?”

he winced at the unintentional insult, his history with women weighing heavy on his shoulders as he realized it was a prominent factor in your rejection. 

“ah - it’s fine! nanami beat me to it i guess. i’m happy for you guys,” he attempted a genuine smile, and anyone else may have been fooled by it too, but you knew him better than to fall for his shitty façade. 

you noticed the tiniest twitch of his eyebrow, and the smallest quiver of his lip as he continued to hide and protect his true feelings. it broke your heart in half, having to watch him put on a show like this. 

“i’m sorry,” you let the apology spill from your lips a few times, but he was very quick to remind you that none of this was your fault. 

“we’ll still be friends, right? i don’t know what i’d do without you,” you gave him a somber look, imagining a future without him by your side. 

satoru and nanami were good friends as well, and you’d never forgive yourself if this tore their friendship apart. 

“of course,” he gave you a cheeky smile and then continued walking down the street with a quick wave of his hand, instructing you to follow him. 

you jogged a couple steps to catch up to him, and he immediately started making jokes about a weird-looking man who was selling street food to your left. in a matter of seconds he was back to his typical self — so much so that it seemed as if your conversation had never happened. 

and that's exactly how satoru tried to imagine his life — as if that conversation had never occurred. he knew how important he was to you, but he also saw the way you looked an nanami with stars in your eyes. he knew that you needed them both, and so he stayed and watched you fall in love with someone who wasn’t him. 

whenever you asked, he told you that it had been a weird one-time thing and that he didn’t feel that way towards you anymore. he’d listen to your stories about the ex-business man and force smiles and laughter to make you happy. because that was all he ever wanted, for you to be happy, and if that meant you had to be with someone else, so be it. 

you and satoru were one in the same, so incredibly alike that maybe you would never have worked out anyway. you were raging with energy, energy that satoru only fueled stronger — where as nanami was gentle, peaceful, the opposite of you and your silver-haired counterpart. nanami cooled you down and and kept you centered, and that was what you needed, but it was something satoru would never have been able to give you. 

so when years had gone by and nanami asked him to be the best man at your wedding, he was crippled. he knew how important it was to you but he could hardly stand the thought of watching you vow yourself to the blonde-man. but despite his feelings, he didn’t even hesitate to say yes. you’d be so disappointed if he hadn’t.

and so he threw on his mask one last time, standing tall in a sleek, black suit as he watch you spill your feelings to nanami in a beautiful vow. you looked perfect, so stunning, and it tore him up that he wasn’t the one standing across from you. 

but he laughed and smiled all night, because that’s who he was. gojo satoru was always expected to be the life the party, and it was a heavy burden to carry. he was so tired of keeping up an act for you and for everyone else; all he wanted was to bury his head into your neck and rest. but he’d never have that, he’d never have you, and tonight made it official. 

[ch3rry3lossom]

Hello!! I'm so sorry for being so inactive and not posting anything at all. I have been very busy lately and have had no ideas or motivation to write. But luckily I have a few ideas in mind that should keep me posting for about a few weeks! With that being said I should be posting more regularly now!

Well let's get onto the post then! (≧∇≦)b

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☆ A Sweet Angel from the Sky ☆

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✧ Characters - venti, Xiao, and scaramouche!

✧ Summary - Genshin boys and how they would react to you being there for them and comforting them!

✧ Warnings! - a bit of angst and sadness!

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♡ Venti ♡

It was a normal, peaceful day. You had just gotten back home from an errand you had to run. You wanted nothing more but to get home and be smothered by your warm husbands touch. As you entered your home you called out to your lovely bard, hoping he wasn't too busy

"Venti!! I'm home!" you called out but got no response "hmm that's weird usually he would come running down the stairs by now" you said as you headed towards the stairs that led up to your bedroom

As you finally reached your bedroom, you gently knocked on the door. "Venti my love are you in there?" as you said those words, you heard shuffling inside the room and finally heard the bards voice

"Y-Y/n? You can come in" the bard quietly said

(Hm? His voice sounds kind of hoarsed) you though as you slowly opened the door and saw the bard sitting at the end of y'alls bed looking down sniffling a bit

"Venti?" you quickly walked towards him and gently grabbed his head, making him face you

As you did you noticed his eyes have turned a bit red with his nose a dusted pink

"Venti? Have you been crying?" you asked worried

Venti tries to get out of your grasp but fails as he starts to cry more

"Hey what's wrong? Come on talk to me, I'm here for you" you say as you gently stroke his cheek

Finally after a few minutes he calms down a bit and looks towards you

"I-im sorry Y/N, I-i just remembered my old friend and I didn't know how to feel. I just.....feel like I stole his identity in a way.Sometimes I worry you only fell in love with me because of him....i know it's a selfish thing to say but I don't even know if I would've been here with you if he didn't die and continued living. I feel so bad" the bard says as he starts crying again

You quickly pull him into a hug and gently stroke his hair

"Hey don't think that. No matter what you're still you, you're still venti deep down. You're still the loving, affectionate, energetic bard I know. I fell in love for you and only you. Don't feel bad alright? It's okay to feel this way" you quietly whisper to him as you continue to gently stroke his head

After a few minutes, he pulls away, lightly sobbing

You smile as you gently wipe a tear off his cheek and give him a quick kiss

He pulls you in, gently kissing you back and softly biting your lower lip

After a few seconds kissing, you both finally pull away and gently bump your foreheads onto each other's, looking at each other's eyes

"Thank you Y/n, thank you" venti says as he lets out a deep sigh

You smile and close your eyes, relishing the deep quietness of the room "of course, anytime my love"

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♡ xiao ♡

It was another day without seeing and being with your husband, xiao. He was off again doing his duties as always. You understood of course but slowly began to miss his company and touch more and more

You didnt want to be clingy since everytime he was here you would always be besides him and giving him affection in a way

Of course he would do his part as well. Whenever he could, he would bring you a flower as a gift or write letters to you if he couldn't come home that day

You appreciated the effort, you did but you wish he could've made a quick visit instead once in a while

It's not that you didn't have friends as well to keep you company, you did but most of them were far too busy as well to hang out with you each day

You decided to just swipe away the thought and head to bed early. It was getting quite dark after all

After maybe a few hours sleeping, you heard a shuffle through the bed sheets you were laying on and suddenly felt two warm arms wrap around you

You turn around and see xiaos head pressed against your back, that's when you also realized you started feeling his hot breath against your skin as well

Confused you say "xiao??? I though you weren't coming home until another 2 days???"

You suddenly felt his arms squeeze you a bit more tighter

"Do you......not want me here?" he says quietly

You quickly turn around completely, your chest now facing his head. "N-no! I do want you here! I missed you! I'm just confused is all" you quietly laugh as you wrap your arms around him and gently stroke his hair

He let's out a deep sigh and muzzles his face deeper into your chest

Nothing his slightly off demeanour, you decide to ask him what's wrong. "Xiao? Is anything the matter?"

After a few moments of silence he finally speaks

"Are you......tired of me? Are you only staying here with me so that you don't break my heart? Am I not treating you right or being here as often as I should be? He says, his voice raising with every question he asks

"Xiao.....of course I'm not tired of you. I love you and i would never leave you or pretend that I'm in love with you because I truly am. I'm sorry if I made you feel that way. Don't stop doing your duties because of me. I do want you here a bit more but just being here with you is enough" you say as you give him a quick kiss on his forehead

He looks up at you "are you sure? I'll try my best to come home more early from now on"

You smile and gently kiss him, he gets a little surprised and hesitates but soon returns the kiss, gently grabbing your hair and pulling you down to kiss you more deeper

Finally after a few minutes you both pull away. Xiao going back to nuzzling his face onto your chest

You smile as you close your eyes and continue stroking his hair, finding peace in his slow breathing and the quiet sound of the night

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♡ scaramouche ♡

Hello! So I'm kind of upset since I wrote a very good story for scaramouche in this post but because something went wrong with saving, it deleted everything I wrote for him! I don't have good memory so I'm going to summarize what I wrote in as much detail as I can! I'm so sorry about that!

Basically you were picking up flowers for him since hes a very busy man and doesn't come home often. You though gifting him a present would be good since you always do that whenever he comes back home. So you see him and run up to him and give him the present and usually he would blush and scoff while complaining to not do it in public but nonetheless takes the flowers

Right now tho he just nods and takes the flower and walks towards y'alls house

You get confused but brush it off and follow him

You usually hug him from behind so that's what you do and usually he would complain and whine about how clingy you are but still give you a quick kiss and hug you back but this time he shakes your hands off and walks upstairs towards y'alls room annoyed

You start getting worried and follow him and see him laying down on the bed. You ask him what's wrong as you sit besides him

He starts saying how you're always near him, giving him kisses and gifts, loving him and how he doesn't understand why you do all that

You tell him it's because he's your husband and you love him

He asks how you could love someone like him since he dosent always return your love or at least now how hes supposed to. He also dosent always come home and how people have been gossiping about how he dosent love you or appreciate you

You shut him up by giving him a kiss and giving him little pecks around his face and telling him how none of that is true and you love him for him and understand

He whines and scoffs before pulling down onto the bed with him and telling you to keep giving him kisses as he hugs you and lays his face on your chest

You giggle and keep giving him kisses

He thought to himself how he's selfish for wanting your love and not wanting you to ever leave him. Nonetheless tho he appreciates and loves you a lot and promised to come home more and show you how much he loves and appreciates you in his own way.

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Again I'm so sorry if for scaramouche it seems rushed! I will either include him in another post and make sure it's very detailed this time or make a short story for him! Let me know what you guys think and if y'all have any suggestions or ideas!

[bangtanloverboys]

found again // jhs

summary - forever was a very long time to be alone, but it was the safeest way to save yourself the heartache of losing loved ones. despite that, you still find yourself falling in love with hoseok

pairing - hunter!hoseok x immortal female!reader

genre - fluff, angst; reincarnation au

word count - 5.0k

warnings - strangers to lovers, hisorical inaccuracies, reader is centuries old, takes place in late 1700s, “i can fix that”, falling in love, kissing, proposal, mentioning of harming self, major character death, dogs die, im sorry everything i write of hoseok is sad but happy ending!!

author’s note - another fic inspired by ABC Forever, because i love the concept and i miss it

After nearing three centuries of life, one would think they’d get used to being alone. To the quiet still air of an empty home, void of a family. But it never did, you could never get used to it. It wasn’t that you purposefully chose to live a life of solitude, but rather found it the best way to live. If you were alone, you couldn’t get hurt. With no roots, it made moving from place to place easier. The only thing that got you through it all was thinking back on your family.

They were long gone by now, but that didn’t change the fact you still thought of them often. More than once, you would dream of what they would have thought with each place. How your mother would move every bit of furniture until it looked just right, how your father would go on about how far it was from the village, or how your little sisters would run about the cabin entirely, claiming it was perfect. 

Several times you would get so caught up in your daydreams, you would even call out to them, only for your voice to die out before their names could even fully fall past your lips. Each time you’d wince at your own foolishness, before sighing, returning to the task you were doing. 

That was simply how you lived until the day that Hoseok arrived. 

You were deep into the woods, picking wild berries when a rustling was heard from across the clearing you were in. Cautiously, you made your way over to the rustling bushes. Right as you were about to peek behind them, a young man popped out from behind them. You let out a scream as you stumbled back, tripping over your skirt and sending you tumbling into the dirt.

“Oh my- I’m so sorry!” The young man spoke as he rushed over to you, helping you back to your feet.

“What were you doing? Were you watching me?!” You exclaimed, pushing him away from you as soon as you stood up.

“No! I promise. I was hunting when my dogs stopped.” It was then you were suddenly aware of the two dog heads that poked out from the branches. “I thought they caught a scent of maybe a deer but uh, seems like they found you,” he chuckled nervously, before his eyebrows shot up. “Where are my manners, I’m Hoseok,” he said, holding his hand out for you.

You stared at it for a moment, before you gave him your name, placing your hand in his. Your hand in his grip, he raised your knuckles to his lips for a kiss.

“Pleasure to meet you.” You swore your face grew hot at those words. It had been years since any man had shown you any sort of affection, even if it was the smallest bit. “What are you doing out here?”

“I- uh, berries.” You gestured to your basket that you left across the clearing. “Collecting some for a pie.” You’re unsure why you felt nervous all of a sudden, but with Hoseok’s gaze on your, it made it difficult to not feel shy.

“Berry pie? Oh that sounds delicious.”

Before you could even comprehend what you were thinking, you found yourself asking, “Would you like some?” 

“Pardon?” He furrowed his brows at you.

“I mean,” you cringed at yourself before you started over, “would you like to come over? It should only take a few hours?”

A smile lit up his face, and you swear you don’t think you’ve ever seen a more beautiful smile. “I would love that.” The both of you walked across the field, picking up your basket as you reentered the forest, heading into the direction of your cottage. Glancing behind you, you saw the two bloodhounds following close on his heels. No doubt noticing how you kept glancing behind him, he introduced them. “Their names are Mickey and Ann.”

“They’re beautiful,” you complimented.

The rest of the journey back to your cottage was in silence, but it was not uncomfortable. Reaching your small little property, you felt uneasiness wash over you as you motioned to your small cottage. It was already several years old by the time you moved into it, windows didn’t shut right and it took a couple nudges to fully close the door; but it was home. If Hoseok thought any less of it, he didn’t say anything, besides ordering the two dogs to stay put at the front door.

Once inside, you began to prepare the pie crust. On occasion, you’d glance up at Hoseok who was staring at the small things you had collected over your life, mainly assorted coins from each country you visited and a few books. Picking one of them up, he began to flip through it.

“Do you actually understand this?” He asked, gesturing to the words on the page.

“Italian? Yes.” No doubt it was probably one of the first languages you learned when you discovered your affliction. Over the past few centuries, you found out you had quite the knack for picking up languages. 

“You must’ve had some fancy schooling,” he whistled as he set the book down.

“Not really,” you flushed as you kneaded the dough. “Just knew someone who taught it to me.”

“Family?” He asked.

You shook your head no. A small Italian artist took you under her wing for a handful of years, deeming you her muse. In return for being the source of her inspiration, she taught you her language. 

“Where is your family?” 

The question had you cease your kneading. You should have known the question would’ve been asked at some point or another. Not to mention, you were somewhat of an enigma to the nearby village. A young well read woman from far away living in a small abandoned cottage, what could you possibly be doing all the way out here? No one ever said anything to you about it, but you knew they certainly thought something of it, judging by the stares you received when you’d walk into town. If he’d ever been, there was a strong possibility he knew of you already.

“Gone,” you answered, resuming your kneading. “Just me.”

“Oh, I’m sorry about that.” His voice was soft as he apologized, like he regretted asking.

“Not your fault, they’ve been gone for a while.” A long while.

The comfortable silence was gone, replaced with an air of tension. Like a string held so taught that the smallest movement would cause it to snap. The topic of your family always stung, no matter how much time had passed. 

Quite possibly wanting to ease the awkward atmosphere he created, Hoseok quietly made his way over to you in your small kitchen. Standing beside you, he smiled.

“What can I do to help?”

Pushing down the butterflies that had erupted in your stomach, you stepped to the side and handed him the basket of wildberries you collected. “Make the filling?” 

The rest of the afternoon consisted of both of you struggling to make the pie. Hoseok apparently wasn’t all that good with following directions as whenever you turned your back to do something, he would try and sneak a nibble at the filling. On occasion, he’d inquire about your knowledge of languages; curious to learn different phrases. It was only when you put the pie in the oven did Hoseok finally cease his linguistic questions. Sitting on a stool, you allowed yourself to catch your breath as you watched the young hunter, who’s gaze was fixated on your roof. 

You were well aware of the shape your cottage was in, due to its old age it was in constant need of repairs. The most important one being the leaks in the roof, thankfully it was the dry season so you didn’t have to go about fixing them just yet, but you knew you’d have to get to it eventually.

“I can fix that.” He gestured up to the roof.

“Can you really?” You raised a brow at him.

“Consider it my way of repaying you for the pie.”

And that was the beginning of your friendship with Hoseok. He’d stop by every other day, tools in hand and work on sealing up your roof. A few times, he’d even bring in a few of his kills, offering it to you to make some dinner. Each time you refused, but he always insisted. 

“A lady needs her food.”

A little over a week had passed and Hoseok finished the roof. It was then you realized how badly you hated being alone. You’d missed having someone to talk to, to cook for. Having grown so used to his presence in that week, you pointed to the old busted chicken coop that resided on your property. It had been empty since you’d moved in and you thought having fresh eggs from a nice chicken coop would be nice. Without hesitating, he agreed to fix the coop. And your front door, and your windows, and your fence. Each time he completed something, you found something new for him to fix.

While he worked on repairs, you’d either read or cook up dinner, not only for you and him, but for his dogs as well. Mickey and Ann were complete sweethearts, waiting patiently by the front door for their owner to come in and join you all for food. When he was working on your windows, more than once you saw him peeking through as you sat at your kitchen table reading  as Mickey laid his head on your lap. 

Eventually, the cottage was practically brand new. There was nothing else to be fixed and you had to prepare yourself to say goodbye to Hoseok. Your heart ached as he walked away from your home for the last time, his dogs trailing behind him. The following morning, you resumed your usual chores and activities; tending to your (new) chickens, work in your garden, and reread your books. 

You’d been fighting off tears all day, and it was as you were preparing supper that the tears began to fall. Perhaps it was foolish of you to get attached to him anyways. No matter what would have happened, it would’ve turned out the way it usually did: with you disappearing. 

A knock on your door, pulled you from your thoughts. For a moment you were confused, no one ever from the village ever came up to visit, you wondered what could’ve happened. Quickly, you wiped the tears from your eyes and made your way over to the door, where the unknown visitor knocked away. 

“Coming, I’m coming!” You called as you swung the door open, revealing- “Hoseok?”

The young man was at your door, a handful of freshly killed quails in hand, and both hounds standing behind him, panting happily. “What, I’m not late am I?”

“No, no,” you shook your head, “that’s not it at all. I just- I wasn’t expecting you?”

“Why wouldn’t you be expecting me? I thought we had a nice little arrangement going on?” He questioned.

“We did, but I have nothing else for you to fix so I assumed-”

“Y/N,” he cut you off. Cupping your cheek, you had no choice but to look up into his sweet, adoring face. “I thought it was pretty obvious you wanted me around for some other reason besides being your handyman.”

Feeling your face grow hot, you slowly nodded. 

He chuckled at you softly, his eyes never leaving yours. “So is it alright, I come over for supper?”

“Of course,” you breathed out. You don’t think you’ve ever felt so happy in so long. 

So the two of you fell into a routine of sorts, he would stop by some meat for you to cook for your supper. Over the meal, you’d catch up on your day to day activities. By the time the food was gone, and you were with full bellies, Hoseok would excuse himself. 

“Goodnight, I’ll see you in the morning,” was what he would say as he left your cottage for his own home, somewhere in town. A few times you’d stayed up so late that it was well past midnight, so you offered him your place for the night. Purely because you didn’t want him out so late, but each time he refused; saying it wouldn’t be right.

Slowly, your dinner meetings would begin happening in the day time. The last few days of summer were upon you and you wanted to spend it with Hoseok, having a picnic with him. 

You dragged him up a tall grassy hill, basket full of bread, cheese, and jam. He laughed as he allowed you to pull him up towards the top, Mickey and Ann trailing behind at his heels, barking happily. Hoseok allowed the dogs to wander around the area, occasionally calling them back if they went too far. 

All set up, you both sat down and enjoyed your lunch. It wasn’t long after you finished that you scooted closer to him, and closer until your hands were almost touching. You were about to slip your hand underneath his when Hoseok’s hand moved, taking your’s and placing it in his. His hands were rough to the touch, small calluses riddled his palms. A smile playing on your lips, you rested your head on his shoulder.

Neither of you moved for hours as you watched the day go by from that little spot on the hill, relishing in the late summer sun. Out of all the years you lived, you had to think that that moment there was the most peaceful. There was no need to run, no overwhelming sense of loss, just you and Hoseok.

“What was your family like?” He questioned.

Taking a deep breath, you began talking about your late family. “My father was a miller, he’d often take me on his runs to deliver flour, giving me a little sack to carry as well,” you smiled fondly at the memory, the villagers chuckling at you as you teetered behind him. “When I was even younger, I used to lay down by the fire and watch my mother sew. . . scolding me for growing up so fast.”

“Did you have any siblings?”

“I had two younger sisters, parents weren’t able to have anymore after the youngest,” you sighed, remembering how hard your parents tried. “They adored flowers, wanting to cover the cottage we lived in with honeysuckle and wild flowers.” Your vision started to get blurry as tears welled up in your eyes.

“They sound wonderful,” Hoseok murmured.

“Yeah, they were. . .” You sighed, blinking back the tears.

“Hey,” he pulled his shoulder away to look at you. “You’re okay, it’s okay.” Hoseok’s hand moved to cup your cheek, brushing the stray hairs from your face. “Your parents are looking down on you, so proud of the woman you are today.”

Meeting Hoseok’s eyes, you’re overwhelmed with the love and adoration pouring from his gaze. Never in your three hundred years had a person ever looked at you that way. As much as you wanted to give into his love, you were scared of the inevitable. One day Hoseok would begin to age and he would notice you still look the same as the day you met. He would grow old before your eyes, leaving you no choice but to leave him broken hearted. To love him would be selfish of you.

The sound of his voice calling your name pulled you from your spiral. You watched as his eyes flickered down to your lips for a moment, before he slowly leaned in. For the first time ever time felt like it stood still. There was no inevitable ticking clock, no fear or thoughts of the future. Just you and Hoseok, on that grassy hill on a late August day. 

You should’ve known better than to have let him kiss you, as you knew as soon as you felt his lips on yours, there was no way you’d be able to let him go. Being alone for so many years, perhaps this time you could allow yourself to be selfish. One day you’d tell him about your curse, but until that day came, you were going to let yourself be with him. 

As the seasons changed, your relationship with Hoseok only grew stronger. He’d visit you daily, bringing gifts of flowers, baked goods, and other assorted courting gifts. The two of you would spend all day together, reading or he’d help you take care of your chickens. Each night, he would leave, despite your insistence on him spending the night.

“I’m courting you, let me do this right,” he whispered once as he kissed you goodnight. 

While you appreciated the sweet sentiment, he should’ve known your relationship was anything but orthodox. If your mother was still around, she surely would’ve been scandalized to hear you kissed him before you even married him. In fact the more you thought about it, the more horrified your mother would be at what you’ve done before marriage. But despite everything you may have done in the past, everything with Hoseok felt like a first.

Whenever Hoseok was with you, never did it feel like time was passing. Like it was only the two of you in your own little bubble of the world, frozen in time. Thoughts of your curse were far from your mind, but each time he left for the night, you knew you had to tell him eventually.

As the days grew colder, that ache you felt in your heart only became more apparent. Soon, you’d think to yourself, I’ll tell him soon. But it couldn’t come soon enough.

Snow soon covered the land, leaving you and Hoseok nothing much but to huddle yourselves inside your cottage. Both of you were huddled in front of your fireplace, desperate to keep warm. Hoseok’s dogs were curled up beside you as well, Mickey’s head resting on your lap as you lazily stroked his fur with one hand. You were rereading one of your novels, simply enjoying the warmth of the fire when you could feel Hoseok’s eyes on you. It wasn’t uncommon that he would stare at you as you did any sort of task, but there was something different about him. Behind his eyes, there was a particularly soft warm glow, making your body feel a thousand times more warmed than the heat of the fire in front of you.

“What are you staring at me like that for?” You finally asked, setting your book down. 

“Have I ever told you how beautiful you are?”

Within an instant you felt your cheeks warmed by his words. “Yes,” you responded shyly, avoiding meeting his eyes. 

Scooting closer to you, he took the book out of your hand, placing it off to the side. Both hands now free, he took them in his as he said your name. “I don’t know how else to say this but, I love you. I don’t know exactly when I fell for you, but I don’t think I ever want to stop.” Removing one hand from yours, he reached into his pocket, pulling out a delicate copper band. 

A gasp escaped your lips as he held out the ring for you. 

“It would give me the greatest pleasure, if you were to be my wife.”

“Yes,” you whispered. “Yes, yes!” You repeated as he slipped the ring onto your finger. Not even looking at it, you threw your arms over his shoulders. Unprepared for your sudden movement, you both went tumbling to the floor, the dogs whined as they rushed to move away from your colliding bodies. You pressed your mouth to his, smiling into it as he returned your kiss.

Until that moment, all your kisses had been brief. Fleeting kisses of hellos and goodbyes, never lasting more than a second. This kiss was different. His hands held your gently at your hips, keeping you in place on top of him. A fire ignited deep in you as you kissed him, you didn’t want to let him go now, not tonight. Keenly, you began peppering Hoseok’s entire face with kisses. His grip on you tightened as your lips traveled lower along the side of his jaw, nibbling at his neck.

“Wait,” his words came out in a groan. Calling your name, you only responded by moving back up to his lips, wanting to kiss him again. “No, not yet.”

“Hoseok, please,” you whined, breathless from the kiss.

“I know, I know, my love,” he panted as his hand came up to cup your face. “It’s getting late,” he sighed, noticing how dark the sky was outside once you were both sitting up again. 

“You could stay the night,” you offered once again. Before he could protest, you continued. “Besides, we’re engaged now. What difference would it make?”

Hoseok rolled your eyes at the logic. “The difference is I would like my first time with you, to be with you as my wife.” 

“You’re such a romantic,” you huffed as he stood up, gathering his things for him to leave.

Once all his things were together, he lowered his head down, kissing you one last time. “Goodnight, my love. I’ll see you tomorrow.” With that, Hoseok and his dogs left just like they would any other night. 

You stared at the door, waiting for the faint crunches of his footsteps in the snow to disappear. Now alone, you knew you had to tell him. Hopefully his love for you would trump any doubts he would have. While you could try to hurt yourself as proof, you doubt he’d want to see you harmed. Death was a jarring thing, no matter if you were to come back or not. Regardless of the outcome, you knew you’d tell him tomorrow. 

The following day, you got up like you would any other. You got yourself dressed, and began your daily activities. Everything was the way it normally was, but something felt off. You couldn’t place what was, but you knew deep down that something wasn’t right. 

Covering yourself with a thick shawl, you made your way over towards your chicken coop. Picking out the eggs from your hens, ready to make something for breakfast. Once you had enough, you made your way back over to your house. It was then you heard barking. 

Turning your head, you saw the familiar faces of Mickey and Ann, but there was no Hoseok. Setting the basket down, you lowered yourself to the ground, ready to greet the hounds. 

“Hey, hey,” you cooed as you pet the dogs, both of them clearly very distressed. “What’s going on? Where’s Hoseok?” As the mention of his name, Mickey barked at you while Ann whined, pulling at your skirts. 

“Excuse me, miss.” A new voice called from across the way. Looking up, recognizing the face as the innkeeper. You’d seen him a few times in town and Hoseok spoke of him often, as he had been renting one of his rooms the past few months. “You knew Hoseok, correct?”

“He’s my fianceé,” you responded cautiously as you straightened up. You hugged your shawl tighter around you as the innkeeper’s eyes saddened at your words. “Why? What happened?”

“I’m very sorry for your loss, miss.”

“What?” That moment, you could’ve sworn your heart stopped. Deep down, you wish it did. No, Hoseok couldn’t be gone. It couldn’t be. You wanted to accuse the innkeeper of lying, or perhaps he mistook someone for Hoseok. But the look in his eyes was clear: Hoseok was dead.

A ringing started in your ears as you stumbled back into your cabin, the dogs following after you. Barely able to hear any other word the innkeeper might’ve said, but it didn’t matter anyways. Hoseok was gone. There couldn’t be anything else to be said. 

Alone once again in your home, you collapsed onto the ground. Opening your mouth, a deafening wail passed your lips. You had died a number of times by now; you’d been poisoned, stabbed, hung, shot, drowned. You’ve felt almost every measure of pain there was, but nothing compared to the pain you felt when you’d lost your beloved Hoseok. 

You became a ghost of yourself after that day. Simply going through the motions of each day. Your only company was Mickey and Ann, who too missed their late owner. They were your only comfort, knowing that taking care of them was something Hoseok would’ve wanted you to do. Every night, they slept on your bed, curled up beside you as you lazily pet their aging bodies. 

Ann was the first to die. 10 years have passed since you lost Hoseok. You’d moved out of that cottage a few years prior, knowing it was only a matter of time before the village had caught on to your affliction. The move was particularly hard on the two hounds, not wanting to move far from the only town they’d ever known. But you had no choice. It became very apparent that Ann wished to return, always sleeping by the door, hoping you’d change your mind. That’s how you found her one spring morning, lying quietly by the door, having passed in her sleep.

You buried her in your garden, under a bed of roses.

Having lost both his sister and Hoseok, Mickey followed soon after. He rarely left your bed, only getting up to eat or to go outside. It was only three months later did you bury him beside Ann. 

The only reminder you had left of Hoseok was the ring on your finger. You rarely took it off your finger, fearing that one day you might forget it or Hoseok. Often you’d find yourself staring at the copper band. It was simple, bearing no special engravings or jewels, but it became your most prized possession.

Unfortunately, time didn’t stay still for you to wallow in your misery. You had to keep moving forward. But as time moved on, so did the world around you. It was strange how fast technology advanced, but as helpful as it was to the people around you, it became your worst nightmare. It became harder and harder to disappear, small towns and far away cabins no longer felt like the safe haven they once were. Which was how you found yourself deep in the city.

It was strange how easy it was to disappear, to simply become another face in the crowd. No one spared you a second glance, no matter how many times you may have seen them over the years, no one recognized you and your lack of aging. As long as you kept to yourself, you managed to stay hidden in plain sight.

Off the corner of 3rd street, you had your own little hole in the wall bookstore. You purchased the store from a sweet old couple a few years back, it was a quaint little bookshop, already having its own group of loyal customers. On occasion, you would get a few new faces, but it was usually the same ones everyday. 

Until today when you saw a face you hadn’t seen in almost 300 years.

Per your usual morning routine, you were taking inventory of the store when you heard the bell over the front door ring. “I’ll be with you in just a moment!” You called out, trying to finish the last few rows of books. Finished, you made your way back towards the front of the store, dusting your hands off. “Well, is there anything I can help you with-” You stopped dead in your tracks as you saw the man you had entered your store. His eyes were cast downwards and he looked over the titles of the front shelves. Hearing your arrival, familiar dark eyes faced you.

“I’m just browsing,” he said, lips curling into a smile you swore you almost forgot. 

In front of you, was Hoseok. It was, had to be. He looked every bit the same as that cold winter night when you last saw him. Your mouth opened and closed several times, before you finally gained your senses.

“Well, just, let me know if there’s anything specific you had in mind,” you responded, smiling as you spun around on your heel, wanting to make a break for your back office.

“Actually, there might be something.”

Swallowing thickly, you turned back to face him. “Oh?”

“I’m thinking of getting into cooking, do you have any cookbook recommendations?” He asked.

“Y-yeah, follow me.” Quickly, you walked over towards your cookbook section, feeling his eyes on you as you walked him over to the shelves. Dragging your fingers over the spines, you pulled out the one you were looking for. It was an older copy, you recognized from the late 80s. Inside were recipes of different types of baked goods and other dishes. “This one, I think I’ve made just about everything in it twice,” you said, pulling it off the shelf and handing it to him. 

As the man flipped through the pages, you found yourself fiddling with the ring that now hung around your neck. Long ago, you strung a chain through it, nearly losing it down the drain. You stared at him in front of you, still not able to wrap your head around it. After nearly six hundred years, you don’t think you’ve ever seen the same face twice. Maybe this was your second chance with him, to start over again. But at the same time, you knew it would be foolish. The man in front of you was a complete stranger, not Hoseok. For all you know, he could be completely different than your long lost fianceé.

Shutting the book, he nodded. “This is perfect.”

Shaking you from your thoughts, you nodded. “Great. I’ll ring you up over here.” Walking back towards the cash register, you both fell into a silence as you rang him up. “Alright, here you go,” you smiled, handing him the book.

“Thank you so much.” Cookbook and receipt in hand, he made his way towards the front door. He couldn’t go just yet, there was something you needed to know.

“Wait!” You called out right as he placed his hand on the door. “If you don’t mind me asking, what’s your name?”

That brilliant smile played on his lips again as he responded. “Jung Hoseok.”

[kittydripuwu]

Hello omegeee I'm so happy when I found your request open T____T. Can I request for Chuuya x female s/o fic angst to fluff or slight/implied nfsw in the end(if its okay to you , if not it fine hihi) where S/o is a civilian and got hostage, hurt, or kidnap what ever u like and then chuuya found out and gone rage mode and save her after that he tells her that he blame himself for getting her in trouble or hurt. Omege I know it's too much u can change few things. Thank youuu in advance. Sending virtual hearts and hugs

thank you for ur request <3 i rlly enjoyed writing this one, hope you like it :)

i'll protect you | chuuya x fem!reader

word count - 1211

warnings - some angst, abit of violence, swearing, implied nsfw at the end

genre - angst, fluff

it was a nice and warm day outside, and you had decided to go out. after it raining for the last 3 days, you needed some air. chuuya left to work early and you were going to walk around yokohama and maybe do some shopping. you were feeling good about yourself, wearing a nice outfit and just listening to music as you walked.

you were walking by an alleyway, when someone grabbed you by the arm and dragged you towards them, causing you to fall into the alley. you looked up to see a young looking guy in a hoodie. before you were able to ask him who he was and what he wanted, two more guys ran up behind you. the guy in the hoodie kneeled down to your level and grabbed your face with his hands.

"don't say a word, and we won't hurt you" he said.

you were scared, you have no idea what would happen to you. you tried to think of a way to get away but you were cornered in this dead-end alleyway, with 2 guys blocking your way out. you thought that maybe if you tried to run really fast, you could have made it and ran away. as you were about to stand up and make a run for it, one of the guys grabbed your wrists and tied them together from the back.

you were scared to yell, what would they do to you? if only chuuya was here.. you thought.

soon enough, you heard a car pull up on the street which the alley was looking out on. they put tape over your mouth, making sure you don't yell, and dragged you inside the car. the drive was awful, you had no idea what was going on, you were trying to struggle against the ropes but it only resulted in one of the guys, slapping you, hard, right on your cheek. it hurt, you felt a stinging sensation and began to cry.

soon, you were brought into a house, quite secluded, in a small forest. you were placed into a room, and locked in there, with no phone or bag.

meanwhile, chuuya was pretty much done for the day, it was around 6 pm and he had nothing else to do for mori that day so he decided he would call you to check if you were home, or if you were out so he could meet you wherever you were.

the kidnappers had taken your phone. you heard it ring and tried to struggle or make any sort of noise, but of course, no one would have helped you.

"ah its the fucking bastard calling" you heard one of the guys speak to the others.

"watch him get all sad and worried about her"

"he killed my older brother, so this is what he fucking gets. soon, his precious little girlfriend will be as good as gone to him"

"do you think he'll find us here?"

"nah man, we're in the middle of a fucking forest, how would he find us here"

they all began to laugh. these were distant conversations you were hearing coming from your kidnappers, meanwhile, you had tears flowing from your eyes, and you were consumed by fear. why did they take you? why YOU?

when you weren't replying to chuuya, he began to panic, he knew you always had your ringer on, so why couldn't you answer? what had happened? where were you?

oh wait. he remembered that he had your location on his phone. you shared your location with each other so you could always know if either of you were in trouble. he opened the location app and it showed that you were in a forest, not far from where he was.

when he got there, he heard men's voices, but no sign of yours. he felt rage building up inside him. he was gonna beat the fuck out of whoever laid a hand on you. he kicked the door down, only to see 3 guys standing around a table.

"where the fuck is y/n" he said, sounding angrier than ever.

the guys began to laugh.

"follow me" he said, leading chuuya to the room which you were tied up in.

he opened the door to reveal you tied up, crying, unable to speak due to the tape on your mouth.

"fuckers" he muttered under his breath right before one of the guys tried to hit him with what looked like a bat.

chuuya instantly knocked the guy unconscious.

"dont you ever fucking think of laying a hand on my girl ever again" he said as he easily took out one more guy.

the last one was left, pointing a gun at chuuya. this made chuuya laugh.

"you really think you're scaring me?" chuuya said, laughing.

"you fucking killed my brother, and you're going to pay" said the man, as he shot twice at chuuya, only to find out that, it didn't hit him.

"what the fuck?" he said, trying to shoot again.

"gravity manipulation" chuuya said calmly, as he kicked the bullets right back to the guy who shot him.

he then ran back into the room that you were in to untie you and take the tape off your mouth.

"babe im so sorry" he said apologetically as you threw yourself into his arms, burying your face into his neck.

he hugged you tightly as he heard your sobs, letting you cry into his shoulder.

"baby, did they hurt you?" he asked after a few minutes of silence.

"n-no but they did slap me" you replied in between sobs. you instantly felt chuuya tense up.

"those fuckers" he muttered.

"i'm so sorry baby, i should have come earlier" he added.

"n-no please chuuya, i-its not your fault, please can we go home" you said, trying to calm him down.

"yeah let's get you home" he replied and walked out of the house.

when you got home, chuuya let you clean yourself off and change while he brought you a glass of water and something to eat. after you showered, you saw chuuya waiting for you on the bed. he was sitting up against the pillows, waiting for you to crawl into his arms. and when you did, he hugged you tightly, made sure you knew that you were safe with him.

"i'm sorry love" he said as he gently rubbed your back, feeling you melt in his arms.

"please don't apologize, there's nothing you could have done earlier, i'm just glad to be back in your arms" you said, still trembling a little from earlier. you began to trace little patterns on his bare chest with your finger.

"i'll make sure it never happens again baby, i'll protect you better from now on" he said.

"you're so adorable when you talk to me like that" you said, giggling.

chuuya tilted your chin upwards and kissed you to shut you up before you said anything else.

"don't go running that pretty little mouth now baby, we can save that for later mkay?" he said while moving so that he was right on top of you.

the moment he pinned your hands above your head, you knew what you had coming for you, and you knew, you were going to have one hell of a night.

[argumentl]

The Freedom of Expression Ep 56 - Dir en grey live with audience scheduled! and, Thinking about the aftermath of inappropriate remarks.

K: Hi, this is Dir en grey's Kaoru, with this week's episode of The Freedom of Expression. Joe, Tasai, welcome. Um, I think it was two days ago, Dir en grey announced that we will do a live show.

T, J: *applause*

T: How long has it been?

K: Well, as for proper lives, its been since last year in February when we were on the European tour. We did do the no-audience lives since then, but as for lives with an audience, thats how long its been.

T: Its a big decision, isn't it?

J: Yeah, and people have been waiting, right?

K: Well, I think people will have a lot of opinions about it, and its a bit hard to say to people, 'Please come!'... Well, as for why we havn't been doing lives, of course its because of corona..there was a risk there. As for the live venues, within these restrictions we weren't sure whether we would be able to complete the type of show we wanted to do...Like, the audience can't use their voice etc. So I was a little concerned when I thought about that, but at the same time, it's strange to say 'it can't be helped', but I thought we could at least try it once. You know, like a live show within these restrictions. We might even get some new feeling or new atmosphere out of it that we've never had before. I mean, we might not, but like, rather than not doing it and worrying, we could just give it a try once, and it might even turn us in some new direction. Then after we do it, we can think about what to do next.

J: I see. Yeah, if you spend all your time thinking it over, nothing will happen, right?

K: Yeah. Well, its not bad to do that though, I just wonder whether we might be able to create a new kind of experience in this way. We won't know if we don't try..

Kami: Um, if you don't try, you won't be able to say what it was like, will you?

K: Well, yeah, thats right. I'd like to experience it.

T: Yeah, within the restrictions, see what type of performance you can create.

K: Well, and people are slowly beginning to restart this kind of thing.

Kami: Um, doesn't it kind of feel like having a school fieldtrip, but being sick so you couldn't go, and then afterwards feeling sad that you missed out?

T: Haha

K: No, its not like that.

T, J: Hahaha

J: Nearly, Kami.

T: Yeah, nearly.

Kami: I didn't get it.

J: Your example was very easy to understand, but it was wrong.

T, K: Haha

Kami: Ok.

K: Well, well, I mean, it wasn't the right example, but the feeling is similar I suppose.

Kami: Ah! See, it is similar! I was right!

J: Oh, Im sorry Kami.

T: Haha

K: So, we're gonna do it. So for anyone who wants to experience this, I'd like you to come and see us... Ok, well..

J: Yes, today's topic is...well, this topic is a little old already, its about Mori Yoshio and the Olympic committee. He has made a run of problematic comments like 'if there are a lot of women, the meetings will last longer', and 'famous people could carry the Olympic torch only through rice fields', and has been forced to resign. Well, this has been big news, but well, this program is about 'The Freedom of Expression', so from that perspective, could you not say that he just slipped up? He slipped up, but shouldn't he still have freedom of expression? Of course, I think these were careless remarks, uttered without a sense of responsibility, but whats the best way to deal with a situation like this? What about just telling the person in question to stop it? Is that enough? So, thats the theme today, in regards to freedom of expression, of course you are free to say what you want, but what should be done if what you say is thoughtless, or clearly at odds with the common view in society? Is it ok to just criticize the comments only? So its quite a serious topic about the freedom of expression today.

T: Well, as for me, if I had to say...I'd say im in the 'if it creates further discussion then its ok' camp. Um, he's a tv celeb now, but do you remember when Sugimura Taizō won his first election? He said, 'I want to go to the high-class restaurants', you know, like political meetings at high-class restaurants? And he was criticized a lot for that. But when I interviewed him in person, I asked him about how he had felt at that time, he said he was simply just curious about whether this type of thing really went on in the world of politics. It was a pretty innocent thing, but when he said it, he was called into question massively. Thats what he said when I asked him. So I don't really think we will make any progress in situations like this, if we don't stop and think about why a person might say things before we launch an attack.

J: I see. Kaoru, what do you think?

K: Nothings come out it in terms of making a bad thing better. I think its a good thing to start a discussion out of it afterwards.

J: Yeah

K: Of course if its wrong, its wrong, but it seems natural to ???*1

J: This all reminds me of this difficult word we hear in the media a lot, 'political correctness'. Like, being forced into the political medium ground, and if you ever make a small mistake with what you say, you'll be accussed of being wrong. People are scared of being targeted like this...Even when you see press conferences, people will only ever talk about thier own position, so as an observer, even press conferences get boring. I'd like people to speak their raw words more, I want to hear what they really think. But if they did, they would be accused of saying the wrong thing. Its like you said Kaoru, if their mistake was shared it might end up heading in a better direction, but if people just immediately and triumphantly scream, 'Thats wrong!', then I have a feeling its gonna carry on like this forever. Its important to think about whether the mistake can be repaired. Anyone makes mistakes. Whatever you say, it will be different from what some other people think. And rather than fixing the mistake, I think some people see it as a game of winning or losing.

K: You can't just say 'sorry', can you?

J: No, you can't. Why is that??

K: This type of person (*Mori*) can't say it for some reason.

J: Like, 'I'M SORRY, I'M REALLY SORRY FOR WHAT I SAID!!

K: ??*2

J: Then they would understand their mistake, and be able to fix it. I think that would be ok!

T: Yeah, we should give people a chance. If you don't point out their mistake, and let them say sorry..

J: Even though it would be good to create that kind of grown-up environment, with everyone on the attack so much these days, people are so cautious about what they say now, the press conferences are more like rituals. Its become a kind of never-ending ritualistic exchange.

K: If nothing is done, Mori will never learn, right?

J: Thats right.

K: If someone just tells him he needs to change his ideas, he can take that to heart..well, did he?

J: Haha, well, I don't know, when he's that old, I don't know. But I think he probably felt something, surely. Also, we ourselves are getting old, and when we get that old, some stuff that was correct for our generation will suddenly become wrong, right? We could say something, and people would be like, 'Eh?!', even though it was fine for our generation. We are bound to be caught up like this eventually. Honestly, there will be people who saw this press conference with Mori, who didn't realise what was wrong at first. You know, with Mori's remarks.

T: People from his generation may even sympathise with him, they might not understand.

J: Yes, yes, yes. But if it was made into a public discussion, they might start to understand the problem. There might be people in that generation who don't understand that saying this type of thing about women is complete prejudice.

T: But as you said Kaoru, when people get that old, the don't like saying sorry.

K: Ah, yeh.

T: So, I want people to be aware of the discussion that can happen after that.

J: It just makes me think eventually, we'll be in that generation. It will happen to us.

T: You might say this type of thing, Joe.

J: Yeah.

K: You already do, don't you?

J: Maybe. I might have harrased people without realising it. I might have said things to people which I thought would make them happy, but actually made them think I was really annoying.

K, T: Ah, yeah.

J: When you're in that kind of position with a huge public stage, you will suffer huge effects, but when you're in my kind of position, its not as decisive, so there is a possibility I'm also doing that. Its possible Im becoming like Mori.

T: Will your radio listerners be saying, 'Joe always says that kind of thing!'?

J: Yeah, now you mention it, Hiranabe was pretty bad. haha

T: Yeah, you could just write Hiranabe here instead of Mori, and it would fit. haha

J: Haha, he would definitely say that kind of thing. So, anyway, yeah, we have to be careful with this.

K: Well, even just discussing it like this is a good step.

J: It is, yes. Ah..Kami is quiet today.

Kami: Well, I thought this was pretty bad.

J: It was bad?　

Kami: Yeah, a long time ago I used to say things about women, and I got a fierce backlash, and realised I was wrong.  Um, it was a road trip with a few adults to an onsen, we went in a few different cars. During the drive I was talking about how women always take ages in the toilet, and one of them said that she is actually really quick in the toilet.

J, T: Haha

Kami: It was possibly bad timing that she started to need the toilet just then. She said she'd be quick, so asked us to stop at the next convenience store, so we stopped at some place like that. And I was like, 'Eh?! Already?! You're back?!'. She was so fast! So after that, I repented, I realised it wasn't the same for everyone. Then I gave up the front passenger seat for her.

J: Hahaha

T: What kind of story is this?! Kami thinks the front passenger seat is some kind of treat?

Kami: Well, anyway, that happened to me. People usually have this image that women take a long time in the toilet, don't they?

J: Yeah.

T: Are they fixing their make-up and stuff?

J: Some might be, yeah.

K: Well, men also have the stand-up option, right?

Kami: I realised at that time that it all depends on the person.

J: I see.

T: Ah, thats good, Kami learned something new?

Kami: Yeah.

J: Yeah, in regards to toilets.

K: If you took a long time in the toilet at school, they used to say you were doing a poo, right?

J: Ah yeh. You had to do it quickly, or they would be saying it all day. They would be saying like, 'This guy did a poo'. I wonder what its like for kids these days? 

T: Yeah, I'd like that to disappear. I want the toilet to be peaceful.

K: You felt something was coming if you went in the stall, right?

J: Yeah, they would throw water over the top, and shout 'This guy's doing a poo!'.

T: Yeah, yeah.

J: What was that all about?!

T: Well, I think boys' toilets should all be just individual stalls.

J, K: Ahh, yeh.

J: So you can't tell whether someones doing a no.1 or a no.2?

K: But recently there are people who sit on the toilet on their phones not actually pooing, aren't there?

T: There are, yeah. Even if I'm outside desperate to go.

J: Yeah, you can tell they aren't even trying to go, or they've already finished. Its totally silent in there. Or you suddenly hear them answering their phone. Its like, 'Hey! That cubucle is for doing a poo!'.

T: This is a big problem amongst men.

J: It is.

K: Ok, shall we finish on that note, haha. Please subscribe. Thank you very much.

*1,2 Couldn't catch/figure out.

To top

[wayfaring-cryptid]

@chipper-smol for the art and au

Another little fic idea stuck in my head after a long day at work

Faint little tapping of a bug on a mission echos throughout the halls. The servants say nothing just look as the hurried bug passes. A small vessel once thought feral holds several papers in his hands carefully. They would have stored them away but he wanted to show the queen as soon as possible. He had been working on his skill with a quill. His writing and drawings still not the best but much better than when he started! They can keep the letters in a line and they are more neat but still messy compared to those who have spent more time on writing. The papers held some new motions he thought of so they could speak with their hands! Things like, sorry, hurt, need, confused, and tired. Simple but they would help so much. So black feet skidded down the pure white halls as they tracked their mother. Sadly there was a meeting going on that had the dreamers and both pale beings... sad for them that is. Ghost cared little and threw that fancy door open with flair he learned from grimm. The king all but growled at them, monnomon looked curious, lurien was irked, herrah eager for their tricks, and the lady.. was calm. Ghost ignored nearly all of them and clambered onto the table and ran to their mother. The queen raised her hand when the vessel drew close and chuckled.

"I think my wyrm and i would prefer you use the floor." And she held out her hands.

Ghost nodded and carefully hopped onto the floor. The room was stunned silent. The feral vessel, who had been terrorizing the whole palace and its king... obeyed an order. The king was speachless as he looked to his root. The vessel put the papers in the pale queens lap and tapped them eagerly, wanting her to look at them. Bless her and her patience as the papers were delicately set upon the table and instead picked up ghost. She held the vessel in her lap and tipped their head up gently.

"Now child i know you are excited and i will look at what youve brought me but there are important things to discuss. You may stay if you behave." The pale lady spoke softly and the king expected the vessel to not listen and instead turn their attention to him.

Ghost simply nodded and signed "happy" before settling down. They snuggled up to their mother and looked at the shocked looks directed at them. With a simple wave of the roots hand they slowly got back to what the meeting was about. Ghost took upon himself to listen, learn new words if any, and see if there is any phrases they should find a sign for that will be useful in the future. They even gave their input on a few things with signs that only the queen knew, he got a few head pats, but soon grew bored. The meeting was long and boring! Their sleek shoulders sagged as they looked to herrah. How would they refer to them? This dissolved into the meeting derailing once more due to a vessel flapping its hands.

"What is it doing?" The teacher asked confused and curious. Was this a trick? A silly distraction to annoy the king? Or something more?

"Ghost and i learned they could communicate with their hands since they lack a voice. We have been working on writing and discovered it in their frustration. I assume they are making some new ones, am i right or wrong, child?" The queen explained and looked to the happy child in her lap.

Ghost nods eagerly, happy to be understood, and began to explain. Lurien's gesture was covering one eye, monomons was a bit rough. Their first though was their mask but settled on a book being opened. Seem good enough! Now herrahs they wanted to be nice, she was their sisters mother after all!! They tried to make a crown then a spider gesture... then "frustrated" as they thought it wasnt good enough. The king at first was furious, the vessels were meant to be hollow!! Not the be taught and coddled!! Then... he saw how happy his root was... those dazzling blue eyes gazing fondly at their child... how happy the vessel, ghost, was when it received attention from its mother. Maybe... he could be more lenient with the vessel?

"And... may i ask what my... hand move.. would be?" The king asked as he kept his tone calm and looked at his root and child.

At first ghost seemed... shy? They looked up at their mother for help and got a nod. Shoulders heaving with a deep breath they showed their father what the queens was. Then they used both hands to form a butterfly but spread their fingers out for six wings and held it high. They made the little symbol that was often seen around the entire kingdom for their father.

The king was touched and hummed softly before speaking. "I see.. Sweet root later i wish to see... the rest of these. If it keeps the vessel calm then i shall learn what they seem to have to say." Sneaky king speak for "what have you taught and learned with our chill?"

The pale lady nods and places her hand on her wyrms with loving eyes. Ghost was shook, they expected a far different reaction from someone who wanted them empty. It... was a change but one they will welcome...

Theyre still gunna fuck shit up of course but he ain't gotta know that

[Well that was quite the feat! More than i planned but im glad to get it out since every liked the last one! Im also posting it to AO3 just like @chipper-smol has started to do with theirs!]

[thelittleboyfromloveactually]

Innocent hug

Dylan O’Brien x reader

Warnings: mentions of rape, sexual assault, cussing, mentions of smut, Dylan being sweet (this can be possibly triggering!!!!!!) angst

Promt: when Dylan finds you crying after an uncomfortable interview, the two of you find your selves admitting things you never thought you would say again (y’all i just, I don’t even know, I can’t write freaking descriptions hahaha)

Word count: 2712

Disclaimer: so basically the interview is for maze runner, just pretend that you play another character in the movie that was like Thomas’ best friend and newts love interest (also y’all pls send some requests)

Not my gif! Credits to @dyobrien! <3

“Hi I’m Dylan O’Brien!” Started Dylan trying to control himself from his laughter, before the cameras had begun rolling Dylan had cracked a joke that he was still trying to recover from.

“I’m Y/N Y/L/N” you said smiling

“I’m Thomas brodie sangster” Thomas said giving the camera a small wave

“And we’re the cast of maze runner” you said still smiling, also trying to control your laughter

“Or at least some of it” Dylan added on making everyone lose it again. Dylan practically fell out of his chair, Thomas giggled and you just kept laughing. Dylan had a habit of making you laugh, it was one of the many things you loved about him. You and Dylan had been best friends since you met on the set of teen wolf. You were a guest star who was quickly killed off. You and Dylan hit it off immediately, you two just got each other. You had the same sense of humor, same interests, and generally you two just felt normal around each other. The two of you stayed connected even after you left the show. Then you were lucky enough to land another part with Dylan in maze runner. Dylan played Thomas, and you played Y/C/N, Thomas’ best friend and Newts love interest. You had become extremely close with the cast, they were like your family. Since the release of the scorch trials you and Dylan had become quite the hit. Though you weren’t together in the movie, everyone shipped it. Two years after scorch trials, you and Dylan were in another movie together! American assassin, Dylan played Mitch Rapp and you of course played Y/C/N, Mitch’s love interest. Everyone wanted you two together, and it was not secret, the two of you were constantly teased on set for “flirting”.

You were doing this interview for the release of your latest movie, Maze Runner: The Death Cure. You were very sad that this series was coming to an end, you were definitely gonna miss it, everyone was.

“So my first question is for all of you actually, out of the three of you, who is the funniest?” The interview met asked

“Dylan and Y/N are both quite hilarious, especially when they are together, they are always cracking jokes and laughing” Thomas said looking at you and Dylan

“We do have fun” you agreed “honestly though I think we are all pretty funny, but Dylan I would say wins this one” you said looking to your right at Dylan

“What can I say? I’m a true born comedian” said Dylan

The questions continued, Dylan and Thomas were asked a lot about work and their new projects, whereas you seemed to be getting the clothes questions, the personal life questions. Things like, “where do you recommend buying clothes?” “How was your trip to Italy” “what are you wearing today”. Sadly that was fairly normal.

“Alright Y/N your up again, now the buzzing question everywhere right now is, are you single?” The interviewer asked

“Yes I am single” you smiled even though you were generally annoyed inside “Im that girl at the family reunions who gets introduced to the 3rd cousins, and who always gets told by the grandmas, “see honey this is why you are still single”” you said

Next to you Dylan weesed and began laughing hysterically. Thomas again just giggled his sweet laugh.

“Well do they know the men you work with? I mean your standards must be pretty high huh?” The interviewer pushed

“Yes yes I guess they are” you said, Dylan laughed next to you

“Why aren’t you with any of them Y/N?” He asked

Your eyebrows knitted together at this question, was he really asking this?

“Well blondie over here” you said gesturing to Thomas “is taken as you know, and taken by one of the nicest people I know, so”

“Well what about you Dylan, I mean the media definitely wants you two together, you two are like Tom hanks and Meg Ryan, and hey if I were you I would totally hit that” he said to Dylan

You froze at this, wtf was this guy doing? Dylan’s eyebrows shot up and his jaw clenched, and Thomas glared at the interviewer.

“Really man?” Dylan asked, you adjusted yourself in your seat, moving your arms to cover your body, you suddenly felt exposed and uncomfortable.

“I was just kidding with you guys” the interviewer said laughing it off

“Wasn't very funny” Dylan said

“Sorry man, didn’t mean any harm” he said putting his hands up in defense

You were shaking, you had a past. A past no one knew about, a past that would be easily triggered by a comment like that.

“Maybe think before you speak next time” Thomas added

“Ya, not cool man” Dylan said

The tension in the room was deadly. But still the interview continued on with only two questions left.

After the interview everyone was checking to make sure you were ok, Dylan kept saying that he’d beat his ass and Thomas just repeated that he is a dick. On the way back to the hotel you were all staying at, the consern eventually died down. Thomas and Dylan were planning on meeting up with ki Hong and kaya at a bar somewhere. They asked if you wanted to join but you kindly refused saying that you needed some me time. They were hesitant at first but then gave in and left you in your hotel room. Once the door closed you ran to the bathroom, looking at yourself in the gold rimmed mirror. Then suddenly you were crying.

“No!” You yelled at yourself “don’t cry, stop it Y/N!” You told yourself, but the tears just kept flowing and they wouldn’t stop.

Dylan’s POV

I swear I was gonna murder that man, who the fuck makes comments like that? I knew Y/N, I knew how this was going to go. I could talk she was shaken up and uncomfortable, but she would never admit that. She never let people in, she claimed she didn’t want to bother anyone with her personal problems. Leaving her alone in her hotel room felt wrong, I knew she wasn’t okay. I could see it in her face. As we walked away from her door, down to the lobby I felt the sudden urge to go back. To run back to her and take her in my arms, stroke her hair and tell her it was ok. Then I decided that that was exactly what I was going to do.

“Hey man I think imma go back, you know how she is, I don’t think she should be alone” I told Thomas, he looked back at me with understanding eyes

“Ofcourse mate” he said nodding, “I think that is a brilliant idea”

“Tell kaya and ki Hong I’m sorry I missed them” I said already waking back to Y/Ns room

“Will do!” He responded

Then I burst out into a run, running back down the hall and to the elevator. I clicked the 6th floor and the second the doors opened I was out, running to Y/Ns door.

Once I got there I took the liberty of unlocking it with the extra key she had given me. She said it was only for emergencies, but I thought I could make an exception. I walked quietly into the hotel room, I opened my mouth to yell for her but then shut it again. I heard muffled cry’s coming from the bedroom. Shit, I hope she’s watching some random soap opera, I hope that’s not her crying.

“Hey Y/N?” I said opening the door to the bedroom

Your POV

When you heard Dylan say your name you quickly sprang into action. Because you were still in the bathroom he wouldn’t be able to see u for at least a few more seconds. You wiped your eyes and tired to put yourself together before walking out to greet him.

“Hey Dylan” you said smiling, keeping up your act

Dylan studied you, he saw your smile, but he also saw your red rimmed eyes and your fidgeting hands, he heard the slight crack in your voice and the tiredness in it as well.

“Are you alright?” He asked stepping slowly toward you

“Ya ya I’m fine! What are you doing here?” You said, way to quickly

Dylan looked at you with sad eyes, it broke him to know that you were hiding from him. “I was worried, I wanted to make sure you were ok”

“We’ll hate to break it to ya, but um you came back for nothing, I am totally fine, faaaaaantastic!” you said smiling at him even more

“You can talk to me” he said stepping closer to you again

“There is nothing to talk about” you said

“Y/N, I know you, I know what you are doing, your not ok, and your hiding it, your shutting me out again”

“Dylan you need to calm down! I. Am. Fine!” You said, he was right though, and you both knew it “you should really go have fun!”

“Y/N-“ he started before being cut off again

“I insist Dylan, please, don’t worry about me, ok?” You said smiling sweetly

“That’s a lot easier said than done” he said looking down, then an idea came to him, it was horrible and he knew you would hate him, but he needed you to let him in “but if that’s what you want, then I’ll leave” he said

“Yes! Go have a good time!” You’d aid practically pushing him out of the bedroom

“See ya later!” You said closing the bedroom door behind him

Dylan walking over to the front door, opened it, and then closed it, still standing in your hotel room. Meanwhile you were listening to hear him leave, and when the door shut you began crying again. Then suddenly strong arms were tapped around your body, pulling you in close. You jumped.

“Hey hey, it’s just me” Dylan said stroking your hair

“But-but you left” you said looking up at him confused

“I didn’t, I’m sorry angel but I needed you to be honest with me” he said looking at you in your eyes. His heart breaking into a million pieces, he hated seeing you like this.

“I-I’m so sorry” you said beginning to cry even harder

“Don’t be sorry angel, it’s ok I’m here” he said hushing you and continuing to stroke you hair. He held you in his arms and never let you go. He held you as you cried, though he was also breaking inside.

After what seemed like forever, your tears ran out and you began to calm down. Dylan still holding you close.

“You wanna talk about it?” He asked sweetly

“Not really” you said sniffling

“You know I will go back and kill That guy if you want me too right?” He said pulling away from you so he could see your face

You didn’t look at him in the eyes, though his tried to find yours

“No it’s ok, really. That guy was a Douche bag, it’s not his fault I have shit” because you had just been crying and weren’t thinking strait, those words just slipped through your mouth. Dylan’s eyes widened and he moved your chin to that you had to face him.

“What kind of shit?” He asked

“Nothing” you said

He widened his eyes saying “really?”

You nodded in response to his action.

“Come on Y/N I’m here, please just talk to me” he pleaded

You stood up and out of Dylan’s grasp. “Listen Dylan, there is a lot you don’t know about me, and it’s all for good reason, ok? I recommend leaving it alone” you said

“I have left it alone for long enough Y/N!” He said standing up as well

“Whatever Dylan” you said waving away his statement

“No! Do not shut me out!” He said walking over to you again grabbing you hands, you could tell he was getting mad, but when he grabbed you it scared you

“No stop! Please! I’m sorry!” You pleaded, Dylan let go of your hands. His heart broke. He looked at you with concerned eyes.

“I’m sorry” he said, he noticed you were shaking, he was so confused, your reaction wasn’t normal. “Please just talk to me, please?”

You sighed and sat down on the bed, putting your face in your hands. Dylan sighed, giving up he began walking away when suddenly you began talking.

“I was 20, it was the first week of my sophomore year of college, my best friend at the time was bugging me about going to some frat party for back to school, the guys she liked had asked her to come and bring a friend. I told her I had to study but she didn’t believe me because it was the first week of school. I wasn’t a party person but I gave in. We got there, and she was drunkenly talking to the guy. I only had one drink, that the guy, his name was Brandon gave me. I started to feel sick and I went to go lie down. I was not thinking strait and when Brandon offered to help me I accepted, he carried me to the bedroom and put me down on the bed. By that time I was confused but barely conscious. He um…” you hesitated, Dylan stared at u in disbelief “he rapped me, he fucking rapped me. I tried to tell my friend but she just accused me of being jealous and not happy for her, saying Brandon would never do that. She never spoke to me again. Then a year later my boyfriend, who I had only been dating for a month or so wanted to ya know do it and I told him I wasn’t ready, I lied telling him I was a virgin. He was fine with it and he said he would wait. He asked again a month later and I still said no, this time he was more angry. We fought and I told him what happened and he called me a slut. We didn’t technically break up but we didn’t really speak. I felt bad so one time I decided to surprise him in his dorm. He was there with another girl. He cheated on me. I never told anyone else about what Brandon did to me. Not my parents, not my friends, not the police.” You finished in tears again

Dylan’s heart was in a million pieces, his best friend was raped and he didn’t know about it. Ofc it was a few years before you met him but he still kicked himself for not protecting you. He loved you! He loved you so damn much. He walked and he wrapped you up in his arms.

“It’s okay angel” he spoke softly so he would scare you. He let his emotions take hold of him, he no longer had control of what he said, “I love you so much and I will never ever leave you or hurt you, I will always protect you.” He told you

You looked up, he just said that he loved you, “what?” You asked

Dylan then realized what he had said “oh um ha” he said scratching the back of his head, screw it he thought. “Ya I love you Y/N, I have loved you for a long time, and and I feel bad telling you now, I don’t wanna take advantage of you but I do. I love you and-“ he was cut off by your lips on his. They were soft, moved as if they were meant for each other.

“I love you too” you said as you smiled

Dylan let out a breath of relief and kissed you again. When Dylan met you, you were nervous about your new job next to big actors, Dylan hugged you trying to comfort you. You never forgot that hug.

You layed in his arms, and for once in a long time you felt light, happy, and safe. And it was all because of one innocent hug.

[julie-thefatones]

Ghost of You || Luke x Reader || Part 4

A/N: Your best friends with Julie, since the stamp was removed from the boys they are able to be seen by lifers at choice and can touch lifers at choice, but are still ghosts. You and Luke grow closer and closer starting to go from friends to more than that and everyone starts to notice, it just takes a little longer for you two to figure it out.

Part 1 , Part 2, Part 3

Side Note: The song that Luke "writes" about Y/N is in fact Moving Along by 5 SOS look it up its a good one

Word Count: 3,088

WARNINGS: 16+ (Sexual References)

It had been weeks since yours and Lukes encounter, in fact you guys have barely talked.... Anytime you guys hung out it was always with the group and only the group and every time he would barely even look at you, you didnt really know what to think of it .... you missed him, yeah you knew that it was gonna be different than before but not this different... You were walking out of 4th period when Carrie came jogging down the hall to catch up with you "Hey Y/N! im gonna walk with you" She said in her normal high pitched Carrie voice, you gave her a shy but inviting smile and then hugged your books to your chest, you hadn't really felt like your self since this whole thing happened, Carrie could see the sadness in your demeanor "Are you okay Y/N? you have been down for like..... weeks" Carried asked with concern, you kind of sighed because thinking about it was hard enough let alone talking about, but you thought your friend deserved an explanation, you glanced in Carries direction "Not really" you said with sadness in your voice "Me and Luke had an... incident so to speak a few weeks ago and it kind of caused a rift in our friendship and now he won't even look at me or talk to me....." you sighed and looked down at the floor "I miss him" you said in a barely audible sad tone, Carrie came closer to you and put a gentle hand on your back showing she cared "Can I ask ... what happened between you and Luke.... you guys were so close, like it was rare to ever see you guys not together" Carrie asked in a soft tone trying not to be pushy, you contemplated on telling her or not *What do I got to loose* you thought to yourself then stopped walking, turning to face Carrie

"Okay.... you just cant tell anyone okay" you said getting close enough to Carrie so that only she could hear what you were saying, her eyes widened with intrigue "Yeah, I promise Y/N" she said urgently to insure you knew that she wouldn't tell a soul "Me and Luke......" you started saying, then stopping to look side to side, to make sure that no one was listening to what you were saying, then looking straight back into Carries eyes "Me and Luke, almost slept together... like it was going to happen but then ... Alex and Reggie Poofed in and then it was a huge mess and then Me and Luke agreed to just be friends and now we are here" You said in a slight urgent whisper, Carries mouth was wide open with shock with her eyes bugged out of her head "Carrie?" you said widening your eyes in concern to why she wasn't answering yet "Carrie!" you exclaimed in hopes she would snap out of it "YOU AND LUKE WHAT!" she yelled in which you immediately slammed your hand over her mouth "Can you not yell maam" you said with tight lips and wide eyes, Carrie shook her head yes under your mouth and relaxed, you released your hand from her mouth in which she started talking instantly "Im sorry! you and Luke what? why am I just now hearing this" Carrie exclaimed in a whispered tone, you sighed and continued walking down the hallway, in which she followed after you "Because I didnt want anyone to know .... I didnt want to make a big deal.... especially since Luke isn't even talking to me ..... I don't know... I just really really miss him" You said in a melancholy tone, Carrie looked at you as if she was gonna say something and then Alex poofed in right in front of you and Carrie, stopping you both in your tracks "Woah! Hey Alex" You said in a high pitched tone, you thought you would be used to them popping in like that by now but you weren't "Luke misses you too! hes driving me crazy" Alex exclaims motioning his hands from his head like he is going out of his mind, You just look at Alex not really knowing what to say, Carrie just looking back and forth from you to Alex waiting for one of you to speak again, Alex continues on with his rant "Y/N! hes so mopey, hes just sitting around all day writing in his stupid freaking song book with his sad Luke face! and anytime I try to ask him to do something or ask him what wrong he just looks at me with that face you know that Luke face that is just like brooding and HIS LUKE

FACE!" Alex says in frustration all while pacing back and forth in front of you guys, messing with his hair in frustration and annoyance, and then he abruptly stops in front of you with wild eyes, grabbing both your shoulders "Y/N! you gotta go make up with him or something! I CANT TAKE IT ANYMORE!" Alex exclaims, you had to admit this was slightly entertaining you couldn't help but chuckle, but then you sighed thinking about the *You gotta make up with him* part of what Alex said "Theres nothing to make up, we aren't fighting ..... we just ..... I guess aren't as close as we were" You said back to your sad voice , Alex rolls his eyes throwing his hands up in the air doing a slight twirl to face away from you and then a quick motion back to face you "BULL CRAP! YOU GUYS CANT GO FROM ALMOST BONING EACH OTHER TO NOT TALKING AT ALL THAT FAST!! YOU GUYS NEED TO TALK! NOW" Alex exclaims, now pushing you toward the door, Carrie just laughing and then following after to not miss anything "GET HIM OUT OF MY STUDIO, AND FIX HIM!" Alex continues pushing you out the door, him and Carrie just standing in the hallway looking out the door as you walk down the street in major confusion to what just happened, Alex sighs "I really hope I got through to her but wasn't like mean ya know" he says tilting his head to the side as he watched you walk away through the school doors, Carrie tilting her head in the same direction but snapping it up ward to look at Alex "No I think you did a great job! very well executed" She said with reassurance, Alex snaps his head up to look back at her "Thank you, ya know I just ..... I really want Luke out of the studio" He said bringing his hand to heart.

As you walked down the street you decided you weren't gonna go see Luke, it just felt too weird and you didnt want to impose, you just decided to go home... you just wanted to sleep! not talk to anyone or deal with anyone! just sleep! you thought to yourself....... your feet dragged you up the stairs into your room, you slammed the door and face planted on your bed when you noticed something in the corner of your eye... It was your guitar, Luke had kept it with him since he gifted it to you just to keep it safe, but there it was, with its own stand and everything, then you noticed a note sticking out of the strings, you quickly rolled out of your bed to stumble over and read it, you gently pulled the note out of the strings being careful not to damage the guitar in any way, the front of the note read To: Y/N you could tell it was Luke who left it there because of the awful, but cute hand writing, it smelled like him and you thought that was a weird thing to think but .... you missed that smell, you took a moment thinking about the last time you breathed in his scent.... flashing back to the night you guys almost..... you shook your head bringing your self back to focus and opening the letter

Dear Y/N,

Hey.... long time no talk eh? how are you? I don't know why im asking that this is a letter not a text message..... anyway! here's your guitar, figured it wouldn't be any good to ya if you didnt have it. It didnt have a strap or anything so I took the liberty of picking one out for you, I figured you would like this one it has checkers all over it, It will match your vans... and my vans too! thats pretty cool .... I almost bought one for my self I think still might, look at us matching guitar straps! Reggie is gonna be so jealous! Anyway, I hope your doing good ... Oh! and good luck on you French test! I know you were nervous about that, I know youre gonna rock it! you always do

-Luke

You closed the letter holding it to your chest and smiling, you lightly lifted the guitar strap with your finger to look at it, you chuckled noticing that you were actually wearing your checkered vans today. You removed your finger letting the strap fall gently back to place, you sighed curling your legs up to your chest. You remembered that the band had a show tonight... *Should I go?* you thought to your self... you initially thought you wouldn't go, but it would be nice to support your friends, and maybe you and Luke should talk *Okay Im gonna go!* you thought to your self confidently, but first you needed a nap.

It was 7:00pm, you arrived at the venue of the gig 30 minutes before their performance, the place was packed! you knew you should have gotten their earlier, but it was hard enough to get out of bed to get here... wasn't exactly easy for you.

You danced along with the bands that were on before Julie and the boys, you noticed Flynn and Carrie across the venue, they noticed you back waving their hands in the air in excitement for you to join them, You grow a big smile and excitedly run over to join them... you hug them in a greeting, and just then you heard the announcer say "Please put your hands together for Julie and The Phantoms" the crowd goes wild, Julie and the boys had become quite popular in your town, You, Carrie, and Flynn made it a point to be the loudest ones out of everyone though. Julie entered the stage, alone like she always did, she made her way over to the keyboard and sat down. She pressed one button on the keyboard in order for the boys to poof on stage, Luke immediately starts singing while simultaneously playing the guitar "Thinking bout you lots lately! Have you been eating breakfast alone like me! Thinking bout you lots lately Oh are you moving along!" You had never heard this song before, it must have been new, Luke played and sang effortlessly, you didnt really notice the lyrics until you noticed Carrie and Flynn looking at you with curious wide eyes, Luke sang with such passion in his voice, he always did but this time seemed different. When the bridge came Luke found you in the crowd his eyes getting big but then locking his eyes with yours as he sang, not breaking his stare, singing "Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me? Scared of moving on, but you're already gone So if you're moving on, won't you just tell me?" As soon as the bridge ended he broke your gaze, you shook your head in order to get your self to recover, you look over at Carrie and Flynn who were watching you for your reaction, you look back up at the stage, Luke and Reggie were doing their classic move of sharing the mic during the chorus, then Luke broke off, playing the melody on his guitar with such... what seemed like anger, or frustration. You started questioning if you should have even come tonight *Was this a mistake..... he looks mad* you thought to yourself, now biting your thumb due to your new anxiety toward the situation. When the song ended Luke shook his hair which was now damp with sweat, and then he stared at you, you couldn't tell what his emotions were at this moment.... *oh boy, how am I gonna make it through this night* you thought to your self.

The band had a great set, after the new song they played Finally Free, which was one of your favorites, then they did Bright. You were really proud of your best friend and how successful her and the boys were becoming. The whole event was over and the place was now pretty much empty, it was just you, Carrie, and Flynn waiting for Julie and the Boys to come out from the back. You were super nervous to see Luke, you didnt know what to say, was that song about you? you wondered to your self.... in the middle of your internal crisis you saw Julie coming from the back with Alex, Reggie following behind all smiling and then Luke shortly after them, he wasn't smiling though, he was just anxiously messing with the hair behind his head. Carrie and Flynn ran up to Julie to give her a hug to congratulate her on the show, you broke your gaze from Luke in order to do the same, you quickly ran over to give your best friend a hug "Congrats Jules! that was an amazing show!" you exclaimed and then motioned to the boys "All of you!" you said looking at all of them, and then setting your eyes on Luke just a little longer than everyone else, he just shyly smiled in response "Thanks Y/N!" Reggie Exclaimed "Did you like the first song? Luke wrote it about you!" Reggie continued with a big smile and a slight chuckle at the end, Lukes eyes widened with annoyance, Alex just turned slowly to face Reggie, his eye twitching in the process, Reggie just looked confused at both of them "What? was she not supposed to know" Reggie asked like he really didnt know, You just stood there shyly, not really knowing what to say, Carries eyes widened "Well!! Flynn! Julie! Alex! and Reggie! I think there is something over here you guys should see its really cool?" Carrie said breaking the awkward tension, or trying to at least, motioning everyone in to the other side of the venue in order to give you and Luke some privacy "Why whats over here?" Reggie asked confused, in which Alex pulled his arm with annoyance rolling his eyes "Just come on reg!" Alex said with a frustrated tone pulling him in the direction Carrie was leading everyone. Soon enough they all disappeared behind a curtain on the other side of the venue, You turned to look at Luke who had his hands in his front pockets, he looked up to make eye contact with you, a half smile appeared on his face as you guys shared a look, you couldn't help but smile a little too. Luke lifted one leg up and then hoped forward to get closer to you "Soooo....." He said as if he didnt know what to do next, You put your hands in your back pockets, then motioned your shoulders forward a little "Sooooo" You echoed back to him, he chuckled "Did you like the show?" He said motioning toward the stage, you nodded your head yes "Yeah!! you guys rocked it as usual" You said, you felt awkward because you had so many things you wanted to say but you didnt want to overwhelm him or feel like you were over stepping, He made a slight whistle shaking his head yes then looking down at his foot which was resting on its heel motioning side to side, "Was that song really about me?" You blurted out with out even thinking, or realizing what you were doing, Luke froze and then looked up with wide eyes, his lips still pursed from whistling and then he relaxed his position putting his foot down and removing his hands from his pockets "Okay, we're just gonna jump right into it..... yeah! it was" he said with a slightly frustrated tone, you bit your lip not really understanding "Wh- why?" you asked truly wondering why he wrote it, you guys both agreed to be friends and you guys never dated so what was there to move on from, he looked at you scrunching his eyebrows together "Why?" He said back confused to why you were confused, you don't know why but you were getting angry "Yeah!" You said throwing your hands in the air "Why Luke! Why everything! Why have you been avoiding me! why have you been so absent!!!" You exclaimed, starting to tear up "So what we almost slept together! BIG DEAL! THAT DOESNT MEAN YOU HAVE TO CUT ME OFF! THAT DOESNT ME YOU

HAVE TO

TURN AWAY FROM ME!" You didnt realize it but you were yelling, tears were streaming down your face, you wiped your tears with the sleeve of your jacket "I missed you so much..... so much Luke..... so yeah why?" you said softer with a crack in your voice, Luke bit his lip in frustration "You wanna know why?!" he exclaimed moving one step closer to you "Because you mean more to me than I could ever imagine someone meaning to me, youre the most amazing person I have ever met!" He exclaimed, now him growing tears in his eyes "AND WHEN YOU KEPT SAYING WE'RE JUST FRIENDS IT EFFING BROKE ME INSIDE BECAUSE IM SO IN LOVE WITH YOU THAT IT HURTS! OKAY! THAT THE FACT YOU DONT WANT ANYTHING MORE THAN JUST FRIEND SHIP KILLS ME INSIDE! SO YEAH I AVOIDED SEEING YOU BECAUSE EVERYTIME I SAW YOU THE PAIN WAS UNBEARABLE BECAUSE ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS GRAB YOU AND HOLD YOU IN MY ARMS AND CALL YOU MINE!" He yelled, grabbing his hair in frustration "There ya go! thats why!" he exclaimed finishing his statement, You stood there gathering the ends of your jacket sleeve in your fists, looking at Luke with red puffy eyes, and before you could respond Luke picked up his guitar, wiped his eyes and poofed out.

[thetransguard-archive]

couldnt find the promt posts but: joenicky monster/supernatural au? i absolutely adore ur writing btw💕

you cannot hand me the word supernatural and not expect me to think of buzzfeed unsolved RGEHFBRWFHKJL im sorry this turned into a ghost hunter’s au i just don’t know how to write vampires or werewolves or whatever else constitutes supernatural

nicky does not believe in ghosts.

so why is he standing in front of a long-abandoned house, carrying several hundred dollars worth of largely useless equipment, wearing a shirt emblazoned with a big cartoon ghost? he tells himself it’s a favour being returned. his room mate, lykon, is endlessly more enthusiastic then he is, mumbling to himself as he fiddles with the camera that was paid with money that probably should’ve gone to rent.

“don’t look so worried nicky,” lykon says, as they step inside the threshold. his best friend flashes him a wide grin which is immediately contradicted by the alarming creak of the floorboard under his foot. “we’ve got holy water and everything else. we’ll just check to see if there are any ghoulies in here, they can’t hurt us.”

“you know i think this is a load of horseshit. i’m more worried about the house collapsing on our heads.”

“don’t be dramatic, dude. it’s in perfectly good shape.”

as they start setting up lights, laying out their sleeping bags for preparation of sleeping the night in this place, nicky is forced to admit there’s a sort of melancholy beauty to the place. it would have been a very nice house, once, not too ostentatious like the other houses they’ve “investigated”, with high ceilings and large windows, and stunning art covering the walls. landscapes, bowls of fruit, studies of fire and light and the night sky. but not a single person. nicky notices the same sprawling signature on all of the art, and steps closer to see if he can make out a name-

“nicky! let’s start recording.”

lykon begins unrolling the backstory of this house and the ghost allegedly haunting it, and nicky interjects throughout, punctuating the otherwise dead serious narrative with bursts of skepticism and humour, the way they’ve always done. lykon’s little ghost hunting channel is small now but getting bigger every day, and nicky can’t say he doesn’t enjoy it, verbally sparring with his best friend. lykon’s a believer and nicky isn’t, and while they’ll argue fiercely on camera they agree in pretty much every way off screen. apparently this house used to be home to an artist who’d been slowly making his way up in the art world before being murdered mysteriously. with no convictions, the story went that people were compelled to stay away from the house, wouldn’t be able to write without doodling, and smell fresh paint. also the standard doors opening and closing on their own, lights turning on and off, footsteps and the like. nicky was not exactly enthused to spend a night on the dusty floor, but hey. it beat sitting on the couch watching reruns of the same bland reality tv shows.

nicky’s halfway through a longwinded joke when lykon jolts like he’s been zapped, hand gripping nicky’s forearm, eyes darting around in sudden fear.

“what? dude, let go.” he elbows lykon in the ribs gently to get his attention back. “hello? what happened.”

“swear i heard a laugh, from upstairs, maybe,” he replies, face furrowed in concentration. he flashes a smile at the camera. “alright, i think we got all the background done. lets investigate.”

predictably, they find nothing. well, nothing of worth to nicky, but lykon insists that the room that used to be the studio feels colder then the rest of the house, they hear noises from inside the room once they leave it, and the spirit box spits up a few noises that lykon insists are words. a pretty standard investigation, then. they pack up their stuff and tuck in for the night. lykon spends half of it jumping at every little noise, but eventually drifts off as the exhaustion of the drive here finally gets to him. nicky turns over in his sleeping bag, hoping to salvage at least a few hours of rest from the night, but-

is that paint?

nicky breathes in as hard as he can, and it’s unmistakeable, that scent of chemicals that reminds him very vividly of the disaster that was year seven art class. he sits up, rubs his eyes. lykon doesn’t stir and nicky sniffs again. it’s still clear and strong, and now that his ear isnt pressed against the pillow, he can hear faint clattering, like the lid of a paint tin being wedged off. it’s coming from upstairs, where the artist’s studio would be, if he had to guess.

oh, fuck. 

there’s a perfectly rational explanation for this, he reasons to himself, even as he crawls out of the sleeping bag to cram on some shoes and get a torch and a camera. he should probably wake up lykon, but something inside him is telling him, wait, to just see for himself first. maybe we disturbed the paint when we were in there earlier. an old house like this, it’s probably just settling. hell, there’s probably raccoons in the roof, or something. ghosts aren’t real.

the studio is... not how they had left it. it had been such a sad space, everything covered up in white sheets, shelves of paints covered in dust. now, the room is strangely warm, like the summer sun had spent a few hours streaming in through windows that were now uncovered, the night visible through dusty panes of glasses. there is an easel set up, with an empty, clean canvas about the size of a dinner table on it. and on the floor, a thin, fine paintbrush rocks back and forth, like it had just been dropped.

this was entirely too much weirdness for nicky’s brain to handle, but he wasn’t giving up on his hard line stance on ghosts just yet. strangely enough, he doesn’t really feel afraid at all. 

“if this is a prank,” he says, deliberately loud in the empty room, as he bends to pick up the paintbrush. the tip of it is still wet, and the paint looks black on his fingertips. “if this is a joke, lykon, i swear-”

hi, nicky.

the words appear abruptly on the canvas, a rushed hand like whoever’s writing isn’t sure if they can keep it going. nicky almost drops the paintbrush he’s holding, but steps closer. the paint is still wet on the canvas, and it’s the same dark shade as the stuff on the brush. he shines his torch at it. it’s a very dark blue, not a black like he’d first assumed, the colour of a twilight sea.

“what the fuck,” he mumbles to himself, touching the canvas. it’s just fabric on wood. what the fuck.

did i scare you? i didn’t want to do that. 

"i’m not scared,” he says, feeling oddly giddy. “this is a very strange dream.”

i promise it’s not a dream. tah-dah! ghosts are real. i am one of them.

as whoever it is writes, they doodle around their letters with incredible skill, little birds and flowers and suns circling their words. it’s strangely endearing. the paint smell gets stronger and nicky finds that he does not mind.

“what’s your name?” he asks, remembering that he is technically a ghost investigator and he should probably be doing some investigation. his phone is left forgotten in his pocket, though. he doesn’t know if he should be recording this or not.

joe, joseph, but it’s yusuf, really. the art world of my time was not quite ready for a name like mine, but i suppose it doesn’t matter anymore.

“you’re the artist, then.”

who else would i be? as far as i can tell i am the first, last and only death of this house.

“you were murdered.”

yes, but can we not talk about that? it wasn’t a pleasant experience.

the last full stop of yusuf’s sentence is darker then normal, like he’s pressed harder. nicky touches a finger to the canvas.

“i’m sorry. i won’t bring it up again.”

thank you.

nicky takes a step back, the room is lightening around him. he hadn’t realised it earlier, but the windows of this room all face east, which is why he supposes yusuf chose it to be his studio. on some level, a part of him is wondering why he isn’t screaming and running to get lykon right now. he really isn’t afraid, though. yusuf hasn’t meant him any harm.

“why did you choose to talk to me? we were up here earlier.”

it’s harder when more alive people are in my room. you take up so much energy. the handwriting pauses, like yusuf is considering. and most people are so afraid. i’ve tried talking to others before, but they get so scared. you didn’t seem frightened at all.

“that’s because i didn’t believe in any of this stuff.” nicky presses a finger to yusuf’s words, just to check. his finger comes away dark blue. “part of me still think i’m dreaming, though.”

well, you can’t see reflections in dreams, i’ve heard. there’s a mirror behind you.

nicky turns to see a sheet drop off a large standing mirror in an ornate frame, and sure enough, he can see his face, a pale shape in the darkness of the room. he steps closer, and skids a finger over the glass, leaving a smear of paint behind. not a dream, then.

he feels a gust of air, warm, behind him and he turns. nothing but the canvas. when he turns back, that’s when he sees him.

he’s about the same height and build of nicky, standing just behind him and to the side. handsome, a full beard and a rueful smile and curls, and eyes that are the kindest nicky has ever seen. and the most startling thing- he is opaque. his head and shoulders are more or less solid, but his torso peters out into nothing at all.

“ghosts are real,” he says, to the spectre in the mirror, dumbfounded, and yusuf’s half-smile widens to a proper grin. he does a little wave in the mirror and something in nicky’s chest swells. he smiles back.

“your friend downstairs is waking up.” a breath, barely a whisper in his ear. and sure enough, noises from below. he can almost hear the sound of his name.

“i won’t tell him about you, if you don’t want me to,” he says, and yusuf shrugs, flickering.

“i don’t mind, but i'd rather you not. the more people come in here, the harder it is to... exist.” 

nicky can hear footsteps on the stairs now, and he blurts out, quickly, before this bizarre moment is over, before he is thrust back into the mundane of his normal life. “we’re leaving now. can i come back, sometime?” and the thing is, he really wants to, wants to know this strange, sad ghost with messy handwriting and beautiful art, and kind, kind eyes. he has so many questions. what’s it like, being a ghost? are you lonely in this house? and, why do you not have any paintings of people? yusuf meets his eyes in the mirror and smiles again.

“i’d like that.”

“nicky!” the door opens and nicky blinks, his hands dropping to his sides. lykon sweeps his gaze around the room looks at him with a raised eyebrow. the canvas, nicky is stunned to realise, is now as clean and blank as when he’d walked in.

“c’mon man, you know we’re not allowed to mess with this stuff.” lykon steps forwards and plucks the paintbrush out of his hand, the tip still wet with paint, and sets it on the easel. “you said it yourself, nothing in here now. we’ve gotta get going.”

“sì, of course. i was just... looking around. it’s a beautiful room.”

his room mate just gives him a look. “uh okay. whatever, man. let’s go.”

before nicky leaves, he picks the paintbrush back up again, tucks it into his pocket. says to the empty room, slowly filling with light and colour from the rising sun, “i’ll be back, yusuf, i promise.”

the faint ghost of laughter as he walks out feels, somehow, right.