#im just all the more furious that course couldn't have been corrected

[askthestans]

Hey, eh, not sure if you're aware, but there are plenty of Mabel haters who like to blame her for causing Weirdmagaddeon and claiming she doesn't take any responsibility for it. What do you say to those accusations against your grandniece?

Stanley: I, uh... what? Excuse me? People hatin' on Mabel? Is that even a thing? Has the internet seen how much of a rainbow ray of sunshine that gal is? I'm a grumpy old conman, Ford's an egotistical, nerdy old fart, Dipper's a paranoid, insecure dweeb, and... people love us and hate Mabel? Why do they look past our flaws and not hers? Not that she has many, mind you. What, she's a little hyper sometimes and wanted her brother to stay? She's just excited about life and loves her family! How can you fault that?

And Mabel causin' Weirdmageddon? What kind of S&P approved substances have these folks been smokin'? *He turns to the side and calls up the stairs.*

Ford! Get your ass down here! I need you to help me argue with people! *Footsteps thunder down the stairs and Ford comes rushing in.*

Stanford: What is it about? And how many explosions do I need to get my point across? *He starts to dig through his trench coat.*

Stanley: Ford, no. Not again. We don't need to make any more insurance claims today.

Stanford: *His hand freezes in his coat, but he doesn't fully let go of whatever's inside. His expression is stern and serious, like a child defying their parent after being told to get their hand out of the cookie jar.* Stanley: Ford!

Stanford: *Rolls his eyes and sighs, letting his hand fall out of his coat again.* Fine, fine, have it your way. I'll just have to utterly and completely decimate them using my brain. Honestly, the plasma grenades would have been the more humane option. Anyways, what are we arguing about?

Stanley: *Points to the question.*

Stanford: *Leans forward, adjusts glasses, and squints, one brow raising more as he reads. Then he pauses, a furious glare to his brown eyes, and then... he bursts out laughing.*

Stanley: *Also laughing.* I know, I know, right? Okay, internet fans, let's get this straight: we all played a part in Weirdmageddon, I'll be honest. Ford started it all by lettin' Bill wine and dine 'im because of his ego problems.

Stanford: Stan is right. I was a fool to trust Bill. He took advantage of my endless need for validation. And then because of my fight with Stan over stupid unresolved issues, Stan was bitter about saving me during Weirdmageddon and then... I corrected his grammar at the worst moment possible.

Stanley: And then I tackled Sixer here. Also at the worst moment possible.

*More footsteps can be heard coming down the stairs. Stan and Ford turn to see that Dipper and Mabel peeking around the doorway.*

Stanford: Hey, kids. Stan and I were just talking about-

Dipper: Weirdmageddon? *Dipper hangs his head a bit and sighs.* Yeah, we heard. That was all our faults. But-

Mabel: *She smiles.* We all also played a part in fixing it! Wait... *She walks up to the computer and sees the question. Stan and Ford try to hide it quick, but she manages to peek through their arms.* People on the internet think I was the main reason for Weirdmageddon?

But... that's not true... right?

Stanford: *Slowly reaching into his trench coat for the grenades again upon seeing Mabel crying, with the look of someone about to unleash hell.*

Stanley: *Nods seriously to Ford, finally agreeing that maybe the grenades are a good idea as he starts to pull brass knuckles and an insurance business card out of his own pockets, then turns to Mabel with a warm smile, hiding the brass knuckles behind his back.* Pumpkin, of course it's not true! Hey, hey, don't listen to those idiots on the internet that this asker mentioned. Like you and Dips said, we're all at fault for Weirdmageddon, me and Ford the most! We're adults and we screwed up harder than anyone involved. You're just kids. We're nearly 60 and couldn't get along. You were 12 and showed us what we'd forgotten.

Dipper: But seriously... like... *Dipper glances at the screen for a moment, staring directly at the internet with cold, intense, dark-circled eyes, fueled by many sleepless nights of tinfoil hattery.* Wasn't the point of all that to show that family is important, how to trust again after it's been broken, and the value of mending relationships despite past hurts? That what really matters in the end is forgiveness and giving up ego for the sake of love? That people in broken family relationships can both be at fault and flawed?

Stanley: Never mind the whole 'bein' stubborn and unforgiving and unable to admit faults' caused me and Ford decades of suffering that could have been resolved had we just sucked it up and forgiven each other? *Stan glares at the screen.* That Mabel and Dipper avoided because they followed me and Ford's example of what not to let happen?

Stanford: *Also looking at the computer screen now, as if staring directly at the internet, breaking some kind of numbered wall.* Have any of you ever heard of character arcs? The rift metaphor? Was the whole two sets of twins thing not obvious enough parallelism and juxtaposition for you? Was Stan defeating Bill with the power of love for family not enough of a, shall we say, punch to the face of some major symbolism we let you watch the worst moments of our lives for?

Dipper: *Narrowing his eyes further.* I bet they don't even know what a theme is...

*Mabel still is sniffling in the background.*

Stanley: Mabel, sweetie, why don't you go upstairs for a few minutes? Me and Ford and Dips here will finish this ask. Get yourself a cookie and we'll handle this.

*Mabel leaves, still sniffling.*

*Stan turns to the computer with his brass knuckles. Ford adjusts his glasses and pulls out grenades. Dipper pulls out a hefty book from his vest.*

Stanley: Internet, listen here and listen good! You've got ten seconds to apologize to Mabel, or you're gonna get the Pines family special.

Stanford: *Says nothing, but casts an unhinged smile.*

Dipper: *Raises book above his head.* Grr....

[charonte-simi]

That weird feeling is back..