#im invested in reading this rp probably more than i should

[battleshell]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE; Mun & Muse - Meme.

fill out & repost ♥ This meme definitely favors canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore, and lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multi-Muses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm. tagged by: @dansiere whom im care tagging: extremely informative meme for ppl who have lots of cross-over interactions, i encourage u to steal it from me anyway BUT @sternenteile​ @twelvians​ @stellamris​ @grandtales​

My muse is:   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless / complicated

Is your character popular in the fandom? YES / NO. [ he is a very, very minor NPC that i’ve essentially wrested from the game with my grubby hands; Gerson is a merchant NPC found in Waterfall, the third area of the game focused with water themes. he has less than 100 lines of dialogue (but jam-packed full of info) and doesn’t even have an overworld sprite. although noted to have a history with multiple major characters, it’s not often i’ve seen him be the main focus of any fanfics or art pieces. ]

Is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ put that faaaaaaaar away from me please tyty ]

Is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i personally believe that Gerson is a strong and potentially powerful monster with fighting capability that could rival some of the stronger Monsters in the Underground due to his background as a fighter during the Human-Monster War, but since has waned in both reputation and fighting skill. we never fight him in game and as such, will never see how he compares numerically, but it’s clear from his dialogue that he knows how to fight professionally/cleverly and would have given a hard challenge. ]

Are they underrated?  YES / NO / IDK. [ i mentioned before that Gerson has ties with lots of major characters - I hardly see it being put into action or talked about! i also have a soft spot for elder/older characters in general since they seem to be overlooked in favor for younger characters that carry the action of plots - which I understand and totally get, but I still like to put these characters out there for the sake of it ]

Were they relevant for the main story?  YES / NO.

Were they relevant for the main character? YES / NO / THEY’RE THE PROTAG. [ he was a funny merchant dude that said “wahaha” a whole bunch of times and carried a magnifying glass; sure he and Frisk would have been good friends after the golden ending but most people have forgotten about their interaction with Gerson once out of Waterfall ]

Are they widely known in their world? YES / NO. [ as one of the older if not oldest Monsters in the Underground, or from his reputation as the “Hammer of Justice” from wartime. he is also a historian and is noted to have written a few of the books in the Librarby. definitely known in the Underground, but probably only in that community ]

How’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL. [ as mentioned before, a benefactor to the community and maybe even a sagely figure. a source of wisdom (even if cheeky) and a person of stability ]

How strictly do you follow canon?  — ehhhhhhhhhh both extremely canon compliant and then hands off the wheel, let jesus drive me away~ i only have so much canon material to work with so i have milked as much as offered to me, then went off to forge my own path in order to patch up the missing holes then add a few sprinkles. the base of the character is all there, but if you really want to get invested with him (or me) then we have a lot to walk through.

SELL YOUR MUSE! Aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutuals.  —  old tortoise (NOT TURTLE) guy sells knick-knacks and cracks jokes, knows everyone’s dirty secrets but thinks they’re just funny to think about them than use them. an elder in the community who has stories to tell and lessons to teach, who has lived through half of recorded history and now spends his time just trying to make things around him interesting. a war veteran who protects his community and understands the horror of the world, but keeps eyes looking into the future even in the face of grimness itself. plays the accordion and harmonica, could probably square dance if he knew what that was. will call you kiddo.

Now the OPPOSITE, list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?).  —  little to no motivation to find a passion for himself that would benefit or service just himself; his entire sense of worth comes from servicing others in some way (being a soldier and protecting people; recording history in order to teach future generations; maintaining a shop in order to literally service others) and lack of action due to decrepitude in old age. close-minded compared to other Monsters, as he doesn’t actually take to think of humans or outsiders kindly; judgmental to the point of being racist. proud and dislikes being one-upped that it could lead to pettiness, and despite his positive outlooks, very pessimistic worldview.

What inspired you to rp your muse?  —  funfact: Gerson is my first tumblr RP muse ever, and since i was worried about duplicate anxiety when i first started i specifically wrote him since he was a smaller character with less attention - i’ve since learned i have no anxiety about it so it’s no longer a problem, but what keeps me going today is the challenge of writing someone so different from me. the elder aesthetic along with homely, almost cottagecore kind of vibe is also appealing, and the humor that comes with gerson is a joy to write out.

What keeps your inspiration going?  —  reading literature, music, artwork, pinterest, replaying the game, and doing little hobbies that would embody the character (collecting or sewing, for example) are things i can do by myself, but with other people i have the most drive when i can have friendly and nonpersonal arguments/debates about character motives or about source material like what made a character act like this or that, or about really anything as long as it makes me seriously think about characters critically and force me to recognize flaws.

Some more personal questions for the mun.

Give your mutuals some insight about the way you are in some matters, which could lead them to get more comfortable with you or perhaps not.

Do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO / I SINCERELY HOPE I DO? [ unfortunately i’m not a tortoise monster who lived for probably centuries if not decades older than myself, but i enjoy writing older characters and hope that other ppl see the potential gerson has like i do ]

Do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ you know when you have a concept and in your own mind you can see it clearly, without fuzziness or confusion, but you can’t seem to put it clearly into words without it turning into an essay because you need to connect all the other points that’s in the single concept you envisioned? yea. ]

Do you sometimes write drabbles?  YES / NO [ bro i should.. ]

Do you think a lot about your Muse during the day? YES / NO [ hmu if you got pinterest and i’ll give u tons and tons of boards ]

Are you confident in your portrayal?  YES / NO / SORT OF? [ this is unfair to answer as (AFAIK) i am the only person writing Gerson in... any capacity. despite that i like to think i bring out the humorous side of him, and show ppl that he and other NPCs are tons of potentials and shouldn’t be overlooked because they aren’t popular ]

Are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. [ i always believed my style and my skill in not only PSDs or aesthetics, but analysis or understanding was always a bit plain, without much flourish or complexity. while that is appealing on its own and has its own merits, i can’t help but feel i can always push myself to do a little more, add a little flavor, or paint an image that could only be done in writing. although i am doing enough to get the job done, i’m searching for a certain voice of writing that i like and want to integrate into creative writing in order to make it more personalized and more engaging. ]

Are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. / SORTA. [ i despise pussyfooting and will often tell ppl straight up if i have a problem with them or something about them; straightforwardness, honesty, and integrity are some of my core values and that includes being harsh if it comes to it in order to keep order ]

Do you accept criticism well about your portrayal?  —  assuming it’s rooted in goodwill or from a point of analysis, absolutely! it’s one of the direct sources for growth and getting better at any craft, but as Tumblr loves to be.... jumpy, i’m always cautious when its not from someone i know.

Do you like questions, which help you explore your character?  —  YEA BUDDYYYYY

If someone disagrees to a headcanon of yours, do you want to know why?  —  absolutely, i thrive off friendly discourse as i mentioned.

If someone disagrees with your portrayal, how would you take it?  —  if we don’t discuss it as above, in lit any other case i’d say “well there are other blogs to follow” but since i’m like 99% sure i’m the only gerson blog that isn’t applicable lmao; the point still stands that everyone has the freedom to write a character as they wish. there are valid reasons to dislike a portayal but not a lot of valid reasons to attack someone for it - with the exception of ppl being gross. stop that, nasty.

If someone really hates your character, how do you take it?  —  strangely. it’s not my job to make people like a character, you either like them or not. if you dislike them for unreasonable points then, to leave in the previous response, “clowns will be clowns, no matter what you do. I just don’t get why you would follow someone if you hate their character to begin with.”

Are you okay with people pointing out your grammatical errors?  —  of course, as long as it’s polite and all that jazz!

Do you think you are easy going as a mun?   —  depends on the meaning - i like making new friends and i find it easy to talk to new people, be it about roleplay or other things like organizing video game play sessions. however, i also have on multiple occasions have approached ppl privately saying “this is annoying/this is problematic/this is inappropriate, stop” and been met with general disdain for voicing such so Who Knows..... (tm). at least on a private level. here, publicly, i’m pretty relaxed! memes and jokes are abound. as long as a person can be mature and responsible for their actions we can vibe, yo.

[eloquent-music]

THE POSITIVE & NEGATIVE: MUN & MUSE

Fill out & Repost ♥ This meme definitely favors Canons more, but I hope OC’s still can make it somehow work with their own lore and Lil’ fandom of friends & mutuals. Multimuses pick the muse you are the most invested in atm.

Tagged by: @polyhexianchicken​

Tagging: anyone who wants to do it!! Just go ahead and say I tagged you

> Putting under a read more bc of the length <

MY MUSE IS.   canon / oc / au / canon-divergent / fandomless

* is your character popular in the fandom? YES/NO

* is your character considered hot™ in the fandom?  YES (from what i see from a lot of people in the fandom including myself)/ NO / IDK.

* is your character considered strong in the fandom?  YES / NO / IDK.

* are they underrated?  YES ( I believe there’s more depth to him that some don’t see) / NO.

* were they relevant to the main story?  YES (Sorta?) / NO.

* were they relevant to the main character?  YES (Kinda sorta esp to Megatron) / NO

* are they widely known in their world?  YES / NO.

* how’s their reputation?  GOOD / BAD / NEUTRAL.

HOW STRICTLY DO YOU FOLLOW CANON?

I try my best to follow canon as best as possible. I do put in my own twists here and there.  I have added things into his character have been shared later on through Tweets on Twitter from Jro and Milne. I take their portrayals and incorporate them into my Tarn. For example, Milne said that Tarn was Pharma’s new lover and they had a special relationship and since I’m weak for that pairing I really wanted to incorporate that in. Also Red doesn’t help we both feed into each other ilu <3  ALL IN ALL though, I do like to keep him canon and not too much off character to where he isn’t Tarn anymore. I want him to be Tarn not someone else

SELL YOUR MUSE! (aka try to list everything, which makes your muse interesting in your opinion to make them spicy for your mutual.)

I could sell Tarn for hours and a few friends know this very personally. IM SORRY. ANYWAYS. Some may find what I love about Tarn to not what they like but it’s my opinion on him! So here goes.

I love his damaged nature (I’m sorry Tarn muse). I find his addictions interesting, even though they weren’t technically shown in the issues. It’s part of who he is from who he used to be (however they came about). I will always love his flaws and I enjoy showing those sides of him so be aware that I will show his addictive personality (through Transformation, Nuke abuse, and murderous tendencies).

Which brings me to... His murderous/torturous nature. We see killers a dime a dozen in the series but to be a leader of a torturous group? Like that’s pretty rad and completely different from a lot of other characters. Can you tell I like the baddies? sdifhoisdf This brings up this ONE side of him. He doesn’t like killing / taking part in the demises of SOME of their victims. Why? I think I may know the answer to that. Why does a mech like him want to advert his gaze while the others have their way with them. Talk about something deep we never got to understand that.

He has a soft spot for musical pieces, especially classical piano music. I love Chopin the most, so you’ll see me post that all the time!

He apparently loves pineapples and just I LOVE THAT SO MUCH UHG.

He’s a big tank with Daddy (Megatron) Issues! You gotta love it LOL  He’s got biolights literally everywhere. FLASHY

When he’s only around his team, he can be a little bit more calm even though he can drop it at the drop of a dime.

He’s a touch starved mech odifhsodif

NOW THE OPPOSITE! (list everything why your muse could not be so interesting (even if you may not agree, what does the fandom perhaps think?)

Even though I kinda sold him on this I thought I should mention it here too. I don’t think people find him interesting for how dark he is as a mech. Push aside everything and look at how purely evil he can be. He’s cruel. He’s torturous and very sadistic. He will thrive off of every little bit of pain you give him. He can be manipulative at times.

Tarn is a huge hypocrite. It shows so much throughout the comic issues if you really look at it. I show it a lot (he will deny it sometimes but don’t worry I know he’s one) Probably one of the biggest hypocrites in the whole 2005 IDW Series.

Tarn is easily-influenced and persuaded by certain situations (to not look weak) and mechs.

He is very easily angered from the smallest things.

He holds onto grudges

WHAT INSPIRED YOU TO RP YOUR MUSE?

I know I’ve been asked this before and when I’m asked again I forget the GOOD reasons why I was so inspired to write him so I hope i do okay this time around. Even though I know I will leave out the good shit. Idk why I just dont draft on what truly inspired me. Just watch, itll come a day later and I’ll add it in just wait and see

I started rp’ing him on here as soon as he debuted in the MTMTE series (i think it was back in 2013 or 2012?) I did kind of poof for a few years due to being so busy sdiufhs. Anyways, I fell instantly in love with his character. I loved his dark ways and how he was so drastically different of a villain. His musical tendencies. And how he could offline a mech with ONLY his voice? Like damn sing to me all day you Musical Angel. He is dark and mysterious. NOT TO MENTION, black and purple my favorite colors.

His design was flawless and MTMTE #7 sold me on who he was and from then on I just couldn’t stop loving this murderous tank. I love how Jro and Milne have come out later on to answer more questions about him and just I love him that much more. Looking back years later on it, I see a little bit of myself in him.  

WHAT KEEPS YOUR INSPIRATION

He’s pretty easy to flow out honestly. Just like my other muse I have. If he does struggle some, I just pop on some Chopin and he’s good to go. What really does keep me going more than anything is continuously exploring who he is as a mech and as a Decepticon. I want to know so much about him literally everything. Even though I could write headcanons all day and drabbles too, I love making him interact with others to find that personality.  It’s really just my never-ending curiosity for him.

SOME MORE PERSONAL QUESTIONS FOR THE MUN.

* do you think you give your character justice?  YES / NO. ( i hope I do! )

* do you frequently write headcanons?  YES / NO.

* do you sometimes write drabbles? YES / NO.  ( i love writing drabbles!!!)

* do you think a lot about your muse during the day? YES / NO.

* are you confident in your portrayal?   YES / NO.

* are you confident in your writing?  YES / NO. (Most of the time, I know sometimes I mess up and its honestly just me not seeing it for whatever reason. Im so sorry if my replies come through scattered sidfhfs)

* are you a sensitive person?  YES / NO. (Not really at all. I don’t get offended or anything but certain things can bug me)

DO YOU ACCEPT CRITICISM WELL ABOUT YOUR PORTRAYAL?

Only if its constructive criticism. I love it when friends bounce ideas or talk to me about him. I will take into consideration of changing him slightly from only my close friends and that’s because we’re close. I will not change my character for anyone because they don’t like how I portray him because he is my portrayal of him, not yours.

DO YOU LIKE QUESTIONS, WHICH HELP YOU EXPLORE YOUR CHARACTER?  

I love all the questions you all send him, either on anon or not. Even the most awful ones! Tarn may not like them but most I find absolutely hilarious. I think the more personal questions really help for exploring who he is or if I post drabble prompts, go ahead and send me one! Even if I dont send in one and you wanna know more about him I will try my best to respond to it.

IF SOMEONE DISAGREES TO A HEADCANON OF YOURS, DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY?  

This is a hit or miss question. I don’t really want to exactly know why unless if I ask you personally on it (which is usually just between close friends because sometimes I just aint thinkin straight). I don’t mind bouncing off ideas but ishdfoisdfh i really truly don’t know the answer to this one

IF SOMEONE REALLY HATES YOUR CHARACTER, HOW DO YOU TAKE IT?

I honestly don’t care. People won’t like every character out there and that’s just part of being human. I understand why people would hate his character in the series in all honesty. But I love him for all his flaws.

I don’t blame people for hating Tarn but I do not want hate sent to me. That is unacceptable and not okay. You don’t have to like my portrayal but please don’t shove it at me that’s just uncalled for. If your character hates him that’s totally different but don’t come attacking me for any reason.

DO YOU THINK YOU ARE EASY GOING AS A MUN?  

I think I am. I’m usually fairly quiet. But once you get to know me, I am kinda strong on the goofy/funny side and a bit blunt/straight-forward sdoifhodsf. I tend to be really easy going and laid back. My personality has drastically changed since I’ve gotten into my mid-20s. I don’t like drama and dont wanna be apart of it.

[citialiin]

ZIGGY ✰ STARDUST

i jacked this from @cardinalrot​. thank you dad. tagging: @gothsic​ ; @blossomingbeelzebug​ ; @betelguide​ ; @thatcertainnight​ ; @prophesyed​ ; you, specifically, reading this.

𝐛𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐬

FULL NAME.     [ redacted ] * NICKNAME.     ziggy  GENDER.     agender (he/him or they/them) / typically presents as a “man” for simplicity’s sake and also because he doesn’t care enough to think about it for more than 4 seconds HEIGHT.     5′10″ AGE.     26 (earth years) ZODIAC.     ??? (he wasn’t born under our stars ... so .......) SPOKEN LANGUAGES.     any/all (he doesn’t really know them, though, he uses an internal translator)

𝐩𝐡𝐲𝐬𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐬

HAIR COLOR.     bright red, seemingly unnatural -- but it’s natural EYE COLOR.     left pale blue, right black SKIN TONE.     very, very, very pale BODY TYPE.     skinny. very skinny/slender/svelte.  willowy and tall and bony.  good for looking waifish on magazine covers but bad for lifting even vaguely heavy objects. VOICE.     posh, nasally, low, the slightest bit condescending.  speaks with an english accent despite not being english, let alone human.  drawls his vowels and enunciates his letters.  his voice is strangely clear and bright when he sings, unlike his somewhat unpleasant speaking tone, and he tends to sing in higher pitches than his speaking voice. DOMINANT HAND.     ambidextrous -- but he can only play the guitar left handed POSTURE.     very straight and proper, holds his head high and his shoulders square.  uncertain if it’s height alone or if he really is looking down upon you.   SCARS.     small incision in the back of his neck where the translator was placed. barely there and usually covered by a collar or his hair, anyways. TATTOOS.      none BIRTHMARKS.     a large yellow disc on his forehead, rimmed with a slightly darker yellow/bronze with the slightest hint of a chromatic shift affect due to reflecting/light catching pigment in skin cells.  this isn’t unique to him, however, as every member of his race has it. has the tiniest hint of a freckle above his lip, on the left side, and he hates it and wishes he could nuke it off his face.  both of these are usually covered, anyways. MOST NOTICEABLE FEATURE(S).     the circular mark, his unusual eyes, his sharp features, his bright hair. everything about him is weird and outlandish and strange, but it helps him maintain a striking, marketable image.  

𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝𝐡𝐨𝐨𝐝

PLACE OF BIRTH.     far away.  HOMETOWN.    faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar away. SIBLINGS.    [ grabs the steering wheel and veers straight into worldbuilding headcanon territory ] the society he comes from is no longer sexually dimorphic and typically doesn’t reproduce the natural way.  having evolved far beyond such icky things, they use genetic samples from large swaths of the population to make consistent batches of new individuals -- the genetic samples are screened for defects and aberrations and sort of tossed together into a genome salad, and out comes however many individuals they need to fill in gaps in the population.  there’s a lot of consistency in his species due to this: everyone has reddish hair, everyone has heterochromia, everyone is about the same height, etc.  so technically, he’s related to everyone in his “batch.” PARENTS.   he wouldn’t ever know -- a lot of people, probably

𝐚𝐝𝐮𝐥𝐭 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞

OCCUPATION.    rockstar -- cultural icon -- celebrity -- musician -- singer -- model -- jerk CURRENT RESIDENCE.    london, LA, NYC, but he’s constantly moving and tours quite often CLOSE FRIENDS.    few and far in between -- he’s friends with his drummer who is named priscilla but usually goes by the stage name WEIRD, as well as siddharth, his bassist, who goes by sid in his personal life but GILLY on stage.  they were the first two humans to encounter him and taught him everything he knows, from how to tie his shoes (aliens wear boots, and you should know this) to the C major scale -- because they are among the few humans who know his secret, he views them as his closest and dearest friends.  his stardom isolates him from them, just a little -- he likes the spotlight but they don’t mind just being “the drummer” and “the bassist.”  they don’t quite have the star power that he does.  his manager  -- tama ahinariki, some guy from new zealand who seemed to bumble his way into becoming in charge of one of the most successful musicians of the decade -- also knows he’s an alien, but they tend to be more business partners than close friends.  tama is more interested in the money side of things whereas priscilla and sid are only interested in the music.  ziggy has stock in the music, money, and his personal brand.  

via rp, he’s made some friends with other characters! a few. very few.  RELATIONSHIP STATUS.    single -- he intends to stay that way.  he gets all the action he could ever need from his legion of devoted fans and groupies.  even in situations where he’s romantically involved and emotionally invested, he would never consider himself exclusive or monogamous.   a lot of tabloids make rumors that he’s involved with cardinal copia, fellow rock icon, but he tends to be sneaky at hiding any time they spent together.  it’s hard to keep things private when you’re both massively popular public figures, though. he goes out of his way to be sure no one knows about his predilection for spending time with thomas, because the last thing an awkward alien in disguise needs is a lot of public attention because people think you’re dating a celebrity (who they don’t know is also an alien). he hangs around annie a lot, too, but this is extra extra under wraps, because annie has a stalker named jonathan who may or may not go apeshit and try to tear his head off or something if he finds out.   FINANCIAL STATUS.    filthy rich. should be guillotined.   DRIVER’S LICENSE.    doesn’t have one. he has some paperwork, somewhere, with a “real” name and all that, but he has no idea where it is and lets his manager deal with that stuff. CRIMINAL RECORD.    none ! clean slate.  that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do illegal things, though.  he just doesn’t get caught.   VICES.    smoking, drinking, la cocaina, sex, impulsive spendng, rockstar stuff.  

𝐬𝐞𝐱 & 𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧𝐜𝐞

SEXUAL ORIENTATION.   bisexual. PREFERRED SEXUAL ROLE.     submissive  |  dominant  |  switch  | top |  bottom | verse. this doesn’t really come up in rp because i dont write nsfw. the way i view it is that he’s lazy and would rather you take care of him than the other way around LIBIDO.    pretty high, but it’s difficult for him to have as much sex as he might prefer because, uh, he has, uh, alien..............parts...........and stuff ..... like ....... some parts down there look different ....... so he’s stuck having sex with usually in the dark, under sheets, and he has to zip his pants up really quick afterwards. maybe it’s a little bit hilarious and i just think it’s funny idk LOVE LANGUAGE.    selflessness (which is big, for him, king of all douchebags and lord selfish dickhead the third), rambling to you about his day, physical affection, gifts, letting you see him without make up, opening up to you about his life before earth.  he might play you music, sing to you or write you songs if he’s feeling particularly sappy.  this is stuff reserved for people that he finds himself incredibly romantically/emotionally attached to, though, not the people he has one night stands with.  and he almost never forms any sort of lasting attachment to the people he sleeps with casually. RELATIONSHIP TENDENCIES.    he tends to fall for people who challenge him in some way, who aren’t easily beguiled by his status and physical looks, but who aren’t outright mean to him.  that being said, he is very vain, and he loves being showered in compliments, praise or attention.  he matches well with people who can put up with his antics and moodiness and odd behavior.  he likes the idea of being someone’s muse or someone’s idol, so he finds himself drawn to other creative types.  he has the most intimate/special connections with other nonhuman beings, especially other aliens, cuz he feels like they Get him and he wouldn’t be really giving himself in his fullest form if he had to still play pretend that he was a human being.  for whatever reason he goes apeshit for goth guys/dudes with black hair who wear a lot of black.  he really doesn’t like people who are too much like him, because HE’S HIM, and you’re YOU, and he really wants it to stay that way.  GET OUT OF MY DRESSING ROOM

𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐜𝐞𝐥𝐥𝐚𝐧𝐞𝐨𝐮𝐬

CHARACTER’S THEME SONG.   there’s a whole album about him .......... theres a song called “ziggy stardust” .......  HOBBIES TO PASS TIME.    singing, music, writing -- he lives for that shid.  he likes art in all forms, so he reads, watches movies, looks at paintings -- he has a lot of human culture to catch up on, and he loves all of it, from any time period and any culture.  he also likes buying things, shopping, looking nice, gossip.  he tends to be a party animal (party alien?) and often indulges in more hedonistic fun. LEFT OR RIGHT BRAINED.    his brain is not structured like a human brain. also, head empty.  no thoughts. FEARS.    being perceived as ugly or untalented, being outed as an alien, being rejected for being an alien, becoming a nobody, losing his social status, becoming a conformist, becoming “outdated” or “uncool” SELF CONFIDENCE LEVEL.    somehow sky high and on the floor at the same time. he usually thinks he can do anything and he’s pretty perfect, but that may just be from a solid few years of repeating that to himself and empty praise given by people who are just crazy obsessed with him -- he built his confidence level on a very shaky foundation, so it’s easy to start making him doubt himself and panic if you know what to criticize him on VULNERABILITIES.    a lot of things, and im sick of typing

* pay me 100000 USD to unlock my LEVEL 20 ZIGGY STARDUST LORE pack now with NAMING/TITLE INFORMATION, HOME PLANET CLIMATE/WEATHER PATTERNS and PAST OCCUPATION/EDUCATION information.  includes a piece of gum i found on the floor.

[ili-qu]

that hyperfixation post has me thinking

i bought p5 on release date, and it took me about a month to beat it. i loved it, obviously. whether it was better than p3 I couldn’t decide, but i figured i’d let it settle first and make a decision then. so this would be about may 2017.

for both p3 and p4 I waited... a while, before starting new game+ and going for 100%. technically it was because i played p3 and p4 in succession before going back, but even post-p4 it was a long time, i’m pretty sure.

i started p3 in january 2013, and then dropped it for a while somewhere around the hierophant/lovers full moon, before going back to it because... ??? im very glad I did though. I think counting that break it took 6 months to beat, though i forget if that included the answer. I DO remember starting p4 like two days after so yeah. i needed More

p4 i think i dropped twice? once right before shadow yukiko, and again during shadow rise’s dungeon, but maybe i only stopped once and just remember rise’s part for some reason. anyway the reason i got back into it was because i read a p4 arena lp. which spoiled A Lot, but got me really invested in finishing the game to actually understand what they were saying. i think it was january 2014, when I finally finished.

...I assume i started p3 ng+ later that year, and then persona q came out so that held me for a while, and THEN i did p4 ng+. and after that was pq ng+, and after THAT i played p3p for the first time, and I know the timeframe for that because of these posts. feb/march 2016, doing a sort-of challenge playthrough as minato to set up for ng+ hamuko, because... I think i though there was ng+ exclusive content. portable just doesn’t do that, for some reason.

anyway all of that is background to how quickly i started my ng+ 100% run of p5. I finished in may 2017, told myself i’d wait at least until december so the experience wouldn’t be too fresh in my mind, and caved in august 3 months later. good job, me

and if i’m being honest, all of THAT is background to how a: how slowly i became obsessed with futaba, and b: how long-lasting said obsession has been. because no other character has been like that, not just in persona (though aigis and hamuko came somewhat close), but in any media.

I know my love for futaba didn’t take hold at ALL while i was playing p5. not during my first playthrough, or my second. (although i was too lazy to finish my ng+ file because i didn’t want to farm money the smart way to finish the compendium, so i had to do it right at the end on normal enemies, which is Painful, but yeah.) my first run, i romanced makoto, like a lot of people did. second, haru. pretty sure I saw akira/futaba as having a brother/sister-like dynamic, or maybe it was thinking futaba wasn’t emotionally mature enough to even have a relationship, but either way i didn’t date her.

(and side note: even though i ship them now, her rank 10 non-romance scene > rank 10 romance scene. you can actually see her go and buy what she wants, and she’s perfectly fine, and it’s nice that the romance one focuses on the romance but they didn’t need to just skip her personal growth like that argh)

i loved futaba as a character, but at this point i was tossing up between her and makoto as my favourite, and either way they weren’t that far above everyone else.

how futaba did become my favourite... is a very good question. I mean, i can relate to her a lot - social anxiety is Not Fun, obsessing over your interests and shutting off everything else for days Is Fun (just Not Healthy) - but why didn’t that happen while i was actually playing p5? i guess... i saw myself in her more than i thought i did?

fanfic is most likely-actually no fanfic is definitely a reason. i’m taking around late 2017/early 2018. there are excellent futaba-centric fics from that period of time that i’ll probably add to this post later, that 100% contributed to my love of futaba. i’d say they even solidified her as my favourite, but even then the fixation on her didn’t start just yet.

I think the earliest i could say it started, or at least when i became aware of it, is with p5d and p5a. p5d because i watched and re-watched her trailer once it came out, partially because Futaba partially because that days when my mother was there remix was/is SO GOOD, and her dancing is just adorable. good on you futaba, for coming out of your shell and dancing in front of everyone and having fun she’s so happy aaaaaaa

now with the anime I know was aware. I think it was around this time period (march/april 2018) where i started following more persona blogs on here/twitter, actually seeing more of the fandom. and while most people were hyped for it, i remember what I was thinking:

futaba waiting room.

i wasn’t going to start watching until futaba’s arc. which is exactly what i did. was it a good decision? i mean i basically binged half the anime until it got to the point i was interested in. so yes.

which takes us to june/july 2018, at which point i was in deep, i KNEW i was in deep, and i did not care at all. i started writing fanfic, which has... not exactly gone anywhere, but i want to keep going. i binged whatever fan content i could find, which started with mostly RP blogs and through those lots and lots lots of art. futaba took over this blog.

and with the pq2 trailers, the later episodes of p5a, p5d coming out in english, and all the fandom content, my love for her hasn’t died down at all. I didn’t expect something like this to last so long - it’s been, what, about a year now? and i’m still coming up with headcanons or theories or fic ideas that i want to write some day. (not that i post much of it, but i should.) still loving my wonderful sweet hacker gremlin. still drinking that Loving Futaba Juice.

[rorykillmore]

alright im just firing this one back at you, what kind of stuff or plots would you want to do once laurel and dolores are actually dating?

laurel and dolores start dating and we just NEVER rp them again,

no but like you said i think there’s a lot to explore in just, them getting used to dating and getting comfortable with each other in that context! like, what kind of things do they like to do to spend time together, what kind of affection are they comfortable with in what contexts, just. you know, the usual early-relationship stuff of like, finding a rhythm and figuring out how to define your relationship. laurel and dolores already know each other really well and they’ve already had feelings for each other for awhile so in some ways it’s easier because they can skip some of that like. ‘feeling each other out’ phase that happens when two people start dating more casually, but in some ways it also kind of makes it more complicated because they’re like, changing a really strongly defined pre-existing relationship?? 

and laurel like... hasn’t been in a more serious relationship in a really long time and i know she has a lot of fears related to that. and dolores, on top of her own pre-existing skittishness, is. i think one unexpected challenge that she’s going to run into during all of this is that dolores REALLY likes her independence and she’s REALLY gotten used to it, which, you know, is fine, she can be independent but. she’s not really used to... idk. sharing certain parts of herself and accepting leaning on another person from time to time like you do in a healthy relationship. so kind of her figuring out the balance of how does she preserve that but also make herself like, accessible in a way that lends itself well to having a relationship too. 

so just those early rps of them trying to navigate and figure things out will be fun, i feel like

this is all happening in light of thanksgiving and then christmas coming up too so that might create some more opportunities for rps! i feel like big holidays like that are like. sometimes they can be a little awkward when you’re still pretty early on in a relationship because it’s like “how much time should you spend with your partner, what kind of things do you invite them to” but like again laurel and dolores are like. more emotionally intimidate than your standard two people who just start off dating so maybe it works slightly differently for them. idk, they’ll figure it out. dolores hasn’t even really CELEBRATED holidays before so,

as for the potentially secretive angle you brought up, this might be surprising but honestly dolores would be pretty chill about it either way. like, dolores doesn’t have much reason to feel the need to keep it secret, but she’s also not overly invested in being open, so if laurel is hesitant about telling too many people then she wouldn’t necessarily protest. what might be interesting down the line though is if dolores gets involved in like, nonhuman politics, and especially if she got to the point where she was being a little openly contentious or critical about humans, the fact that she’s DATING a human might cause issues if we wanted to do any plots related to that? like depending on who gets involved with that cause; maybe someone nonhuman is >__> about it, or maybe someone looking to oppose it altogether points it out to the public.  idk. we can see where they are when we get there and how we feel about things.

i have to wonder how they’d decide to deal with jack, like in general. like i know laurel might get to have a confrontation with him at some point, and for dolores’ part she’ll probably be more focused on opposing him in a more like, subtle way if she can get a foothold as a public speaker, but it’ll be interesting to see if and how they plan to do anything together?? since that’s always been an issue they’ve been mutually invested in. that also probably depends somewhat on Jay’s plans for jack in the future, but.

i’m trying to think... if there are any other bigger upcoming plots that might lend themselves to the two of them getting involved... idk. maybe once they get a little while to settle into things and not having a major event happen every 5 minutes we can brainstorm something for them, or maybe in the meantime we can look for like. cliche ship plots to do with them. it’s been way too long since i read any kind of fanfiction, i can’t think of any tropes to play with off the top of my head, but,

yeah honestly just, even actual concrete plot stuff aside i’m really looking forward to just seeing the progression of their relationship and where it ultimately goes on denny tbh! we’ve spent a lot of time building up to it and now i feel like this side of things is a bit less defined, so i’m excited to kind of feel it out. and to just give both of them a chance to be a little bit happier,

[zorualesbian]

its really hard for me to be invested in the lore of flight rising i want to but i just can’t

we’ve gone how many years now with absolutely no lore updates? i had really started to get the impression that the site lore was intended to be just enough for everyone to have a very general understanding, but nothing more than that so users can build their own headcanons and establish their own worlds. and i didn’t really have a problem with it because there are plenty of pet sites that aren’t lore-heavy, it’s pretty much just a thing the userbase comes up with because they want to RP and create headcanons and i respect that

it just really feels like, if this was something they wanted to do, they should have done it sooner. that’s how i’ve felt about a lot of the recent changes/updates and i’m rly feelin more like they should’ve waited to launch the site and worked on it more first bc here it is 3 years after launch and they’re FINALLY doing open registration, after everyone who wanted an account probably already has one bc registration windows have been once a month for a very long time its not hard to get an FR account

maybe i’d feel different if the lore updates weren’t so hard to read and were structured in a way that we were introduced to these characters and gotten to know Anything about them before we’re supposed to suddenly be invested in what’s happening to them? its very hard to have feelings about “this is the characters name AND NOW THEYRE IN PERIL”

dont get me wrong, im glad they’re finally doing something and it’s refreshing to see that /maybe/ they care about making sure their site stays engaging. but it’s just been so long with having nothing that it’s hard for me to have much hope and i fully believe the only thing keeping FR alive is cool dragon designs and the color/gene system

[getinthefunvee]

//how does a new writer to the roleplay community on tumblr get started? Ive sent out starters, I've replied to starters, I've answered memes, I've reblogged memes, I've made my own posts, I hardly OOC. Everyone seems so exclusive. It's not encouraging, and it seems rather cold. What advice can you give?

// Hi there, nonny! Let’s see if I can offer a little RP Ancient™ advice.

The first thing to know about the RPC is: when you start out (or reboot, or come back from a long hiatus–and boy, do I know about those) it takes a lot of time & effort before you get into a steady RP flow. It’s always been like that, so that part? Is purely about relationships, because that’s what RP is: a sort of mutual pact between two (or more) people to put in a similar amount of effort to entertain one another. Quite often, longer-term RP partners turn into IRL friends, because you spend so much time investing in one another. You help each other grow as both writers/RPers and your muses influence each others’ growth. It requires a fair amount of putting yourself out there and extroversion and, yes, rejection–just like IRL relationships.

Here are some things to consider if you’ve been at it for a couple months and still feel like you’re floundering:

1) Is your character pleasant to RP with? Okay, this isn’t an attack, but a chance to step back and consider: what would the other character(s) get out of interacting with mine? A character needs to have depth, an interesting personality, a unique voice, a fully actualised emotional range. If you write a villain, grouchy, or a superpowered person, it’s off-putting if they’re essentially a walking God-mode, all-knowing, superior, unrelentingly do nothing but maim/kill off others, or shut down every interaction with glares/bitchy comebacks. That’s no fun for anyone to interact with, so if you’ve fallen into any of those tropes, you may wish to think abound expanding on your repertoire.

2) Are you putting in as much effort as your partners or prospective partners? We’re all different. Effort is relative, and everyone looks for something a little different, but essentially when you get a reply, you want to feel as though the other person is as invested as you are. That means matching length (it never has to be line-for-line, but if someone’s written 6 paragraphs and you only have 2 lines of reply, please talk to them: they’ll want to know why their reply only stimulated 2 lines of response from your muse, or to know that you’re only comfortable writing shorter things; otherwise, you’re not likely to get another reply), driving plot forward (I can’t tell you how many RPs I’ve had fizzle because someone’s several-paragraphs-long replies only at core yield ‘and they nodded’, forcing me to consistently develop all action/development–we’re not always ‘on’ and not every post is a ‘masterpiece’, nor should it have to be, but if one person is doing 100% of the leg work on this every single time, it’s not going to end well), and developing character relationships (be they platonic or otherwise) in an engaging, satisfying way. Also, each RPC has its own conventions, so you may wish to check that you’re ‘conforming’ to those, at least broadly–ie, if the Marvel RPC convention for short replies is 100x100 or smaller static icons and you’re using 300x150 GIFs and large font, people may find it off-putting. 

3) How many muns have you spoken to? This is part of putting yourself out there. Sometimes the person is a mutual, sometimes they’re not. Do always read people’s rules (I presume everyone would already do this) just to make sure they’re comfortable being contacted by ask vs IM. Don’t leap in with ‘hi wanna plot’; do introduce yourself, say hello, tell them what you enjoy about their characterisation, and suggest that if they were open to the idea of RPing, here are a few suggestions for possible plots you’ve considered with their character in mind. Not all of that has to be in one message, but when someone approaches me like this I’m almost uniformly thrilled to play with them.

4) Are you being too limited in your focus? You’re starting out, and maybe you like to write novella plots and/or huge world-building AUs. Awesome! However, you need to develop relationships for those to take off. Many people just getting the hang of RPing do short-form threads. This does three things: 1) helps you establish your character’s voice, 2) offers content/’samples’ for people browsing your blog to view, and 3) gets your URL out there on other people’s dashes. (I meet the vast majority of my RP partners because I loved how they wrote with someone I already RP with, or they saw me on their dash and liked what I did. I cannot overstate the importance of this!)

5) How accessible is your content? This may be just me, but is your blog at least somewhat legible? I’ll be the first to say, hey, my blog font: not super comfy to read! I use ‘read on dash’ for my own posts! I am a fucking sham!! (ie your theme means I can’t scroll to the end of your rules because the ~smoky shadows~ fully obscure the last paragraph; your text scrolls out of the box, onto your background art, rendering it unreadable; broken links!); 3) difficult/obscure navigation (if I have to wave my cursor around your page for 5min before I can find a link, I’m mad); 4) okay this is probably just me, because it’s super popular, but: autoplay, some of us get easily overwhelmed by sensory input and if I have my noise-isolating earphones on and I tab over to your blog and suddenly it’s SUPER LOUD ASSAULT, it’s really jarring.

6) Are you exploring other RPCs? Some communities are much more welcoming to new/inexperienced RPers than others. That’s definitely sad, but it’s a good thing to know. I love the Marvel RPC because of the friends I’ve met through it, but it’s one of the more clique-y and exclusive-focused RPCs I’ve ever been in. By contrast, DARP (Dragon Age, ayy) is very welcoming–and, for me, often a little *too* chipper and extroverted. I’m not saying this to call one better than another, but just to illustrate that RPCs can be very different from one another. If you’re having a hard time in one, consider expanding out to another–it doesn’t mean you have to ditch your character or your desire to be in another RPC, but it may give you the experience and confidence to tackle some of the harder-to-access RPCs on Tumblr.

I don’t want to overwhelm you, and I can only speak from my own experience, but hopefully that gives you something to start with, nonnie! If anyone wants to pitch in, please do feel free to comment.

[dnd-inspiration]

If you’ve sent me an ask within 30 days… it's here!

If yours isn’t here, send it again!  I’m sorry it took me so long to get to you guys. It’s been a few crazy weeks, I’m generally a lazy person, and having more than 5 asks stresses me out so I avoid my inbox. So lets get to it!

@leonmashedpotatoes Hello there, I'm going to be running a 3.5 shackled city campaign and I'm excited about the campaign, but I'm nervous because my homebrew campaigns have been making me super overwhelmed and I don't end up having any fun playing and the session just ends anticlimactically. How can I keep myself from getting overwhelmed? I figured it'd be easier since I'm using a module but I'm still nervous that I won't end up having fun PLeS HalP

It depends! Why does it overwhelm you? Are you organized enough? Do your players ask you stupid questions that you didn’t think you had to prepare for? Get good at predicting those dumb questions, or get good at improv. Are they doing things you don’t want them to do, like going north when they should go south? Just change the stuff happening in the south to the north. Or block off the path. I’d also recommend taking a 5 - 10 min break. Get up, stretch, get some snacks, etc. AS for anticlimactic session ends, try to plan for a good stop or stop playing too long. Sometimes sessions I’m in go so long we basically end when someone falls asleep.

@meme-regime

Hi, gonna DM a campaign that revolves around 2 countries at war. The campaign will eventually build up to each country having a superweapon, but the players only know about the enemy's. They are sent to stop it and while gone the allied country's goes off accidentally. My question is, how should i get my players invested in the story and really care about and join one side, rather than just do mercenary work? Its a war over land, so neither side is necessarily in the right, morally. Thanks!

Ask them to come up with detailed backstories about where they’re from, any friends, etc. Put those NPCs in the town in the region you want. Maybe one side pays well, maybe one side is filled with [x “evil” race]. Have them meet NPCs that they themselves care about their land. You can’t really force anyone to care about anything. I always stressed myself out when I cared if they did, so I stopped caring. And weirdly enough they started!

@ anon

I want to start dm'ing a campaign. Any advice for someone who's never dm'd before?

Just read up on the rules, find a module you want to try, read through it, and relax!

@ anon

I need to create a D&D character for a group me and my friends are starting. How do I go about it?

I use the app “5th edition Character Sheet” and I love it. If you pay 1 dollar you get to level up easy. There are guides online to help you out. Reading the player's handbook also helps! Make sure you and your buds know what level you’re starting at, and if you’re doing point buy or rolling your stats.

@sevenawkwarddays

So, I just recently started DMing and my group really seems to enjoy inns and enjoys roleplaying visiting one. I'm running out of gimmicks and fun quirks to give them and was wondering if you have any advice or suggestions?

Watch/read/listen to media related to that and take inspiration from there. Look up historical inns, look up local bed and breakfast joints, etc. There are some cool podcasts about history, myths, etc.

@irl-yuya

I'm writing a campaign for my friends (in which I will be both DMing and playing a character) should I get ideas, just knowing my friends' classes and see what happens or wait until they've finished character building? (We're using fan made classes. Dancer, Death Weapon (based on the show Soul Eater) and Dragon Slayer Wizard (based on Fairy Tail.)

Its your campaign, you should make it no matter what they want to play. Their races and classes shouldn’t matter too much. I’m in the middle of writing a campaign where Drow are despised, much more than normal, and driven out of towns. I’d gently suggest my players not play Drow, but hey if they want I won’t stop them. They just need to know what they’re getting into. I’m not about to change my entire campaign just because they want to play Drow but not be treated unfairly.

@ anon

Im setting up a Lamia lair in an old desert ruin, and so far i have a Lamia, jackalweres, manticores, and slaves occupying it. I have a maze, main lair, and slave cages planned, but i want it to be bigger. Any ideas???

Honestly I have no idea what Lamia is and google didn’t help… so here are some maybe not so helpful suggestions.

Room of pots, some overflowing with rubies. When you dig for more, its sand. If one breaks, endless sand pours out.

A giant room with pillars, and a single set of stairs that almost goes up to the ceiling.

A room dedicated to giving gifts to gods. You probably shouldn’t take anything. Should leave something instead.

Giant crocs who can be appeased with hearts

@ anon

So, in my campaign, almost all the PCs have a dead sibling, so I try to emphasize familial bonds in the story. Would having the BBEG's goal to bring back their own dead sibling be keeping to the motif or just lazy writing? Any suggestions for alternatives or ways to make that more interesting?

Whats bad about bringing your sibling back? Obviously raising the dead is a bit iffy but if I was one of your players I wouldn’t hunt him down for doing that. Maybe his sibling is bigger, badder, and generally better at doing evil stuff.

@didthething

My players are wandering through a mountainous region, with occasional Kobold tribes interspersed. They are searching for an old tower surrounded by a thick, cloying fog. What might they run into while they are wandering about?

I don’t have a monster manual, but I’d look into that to help you out! Rocs could be funny, since they sound like “rocks”. Bullets? Birds, goats, other typical animals you’d find on a mountain. Maybe some mountain monks or something.

@candalable

I think this is totally doable for your first game. Neat idea! I think your plot is fine, I don’t have any points. Since this is set in one place, make this places VERY detailed. Names, ages, jobs of all npcs they come across, town export and import, etc. Not sure about puzzles since everything sets back to normal tbh.

@anon

I'm DMing a session and my players are in a campaign where they're in a magical rubix cube dungeon that rotates and opens paths to new rooms when they interact with certain parts of the room they're in. I'm trying to design each room to be unique in both it's layout and what kind of challenge they'll have to go through, and i've already got three rooms planned out, but i'm running dry on cool ideas for puzzles, traps, or fun battles for them to stumble into. There are 5 players if it helps.

@anon

Could read through my blog and see if you can apply/tweak any to a room. Look up popular brain teasers and puzzles, twist them to a dnd setting. A room with a long staircase, halfway up you notice a really tall being just staring at you. Narrow bridge to get to the other side, but its cut. You can climb down the ladder into darkness. The other side seems slanted enough you can climb up.

@literal-trash-heap

In an adventure I'm writing, I need a monster that could make ships mysteriously vanish, but still be suitable for first level players. I was thinking maybe something to do with ghosts and the ethereal plane, but any suggestions would be terrific!

Low HP powerful monster that actually only makes ship invisible and sets them off course? Otherwise your suggestion sounds great.

@anon

In the party I have, everyone seems to be focused on only the task ahead and they aren't finding creative ways to overcome challenges. How can I change this and slyly force them into some RP and world exploration?

You can’t make them play how you want them to. If you want them to get into room A, and the door is locked and you don't want them busting it down but finding the key… make it impossible to break down. Thats as far as you can force their hand though. Maybe they like the straight path? You can introduce some NPCs  that want to show them the world, or need an escort.

@anon

Several sessions ago the party I have been DMing helped an Armorer and a Weaponsmith get together. Now, they've been invited to their wedding. It looks like the party wants to go so I want to spice it up a bit. I'm thinking some sort of monster should attack mid vows but I'm not sure what would be good. The wedding will take place in a city set on the side of a mountain, and the players should be about level five by the time they get there. But I have no idea what the monster should be

@anon

Look in the monster manual? Maybe there is a crazed ex lover that wants revenge. Maybe some giant birds want the bird seed, or see shiny objects in the wedding like the rings or decorations.

@anon

im dming for my four friends, but two of them chose to be bards, and the other two are a cleric and a wizard. should i like, force some of them to change roles or is there someway for me to change monsters and enemies so they dont get completely junked

I’d tell everyone everyone’s class, see if they’re okay with that, and treat them like any normal party. I treat my normal parties like they CAN die… but if they’re nice and don’t do stupid stuff, they only almost die. I don’t force my players but if you’re cool with that and so are they, go for it I guess.

@cometgrace

I have a question, if you don't mind. I'm really interested in playing d&d but I have no friends who would be interested so I'm looking to play it online. The problem is, I have absolutely no experience with the game and I know pretty much nothing. What's a good way a get started and figure out the game? or a good way to just learn the ropes?

Read up the players handbook and go online! Roll20.net is something people use. You can also find game shops in your town that host [free] dnd nights with tables for you to use! For free! Most people are patient. Just be up front that that you’re new and do your best to play along.

@gxjira

i have an idea for a campaign and several little details for it but for some reason i cant connect them? so far i have a tiny town full of completely regular people, a well with weird powers, the lunar eclipse and a bad time

Sorry but there isn’t nearly enough information for me to help you out!

@synodicstudying

I have a new DND session this weekend and I'm dusting off one of my old character ideas- a wood elf druid with a chronically ill wife and a 10 year old stepson, driven by trying to find the cure for her wife. She's definitely a motherly figure, with an emphasis on healing and shapeshifting abilities who I mean to make into the glue of the party, but I just got the setting. We're in the Arctic. Any ideas on how to adapt her to fit?

I love your idea so much!  Why not have her travel from your beautiful home continent? The arctic supposedly has the oldest seed in the world, frozen in time. And its one of the things you need for your wife!

@anon

So my players have unknowingly contacted the first arcs Big Bad and asked them for work. The Big Bad has been scrying on them and is slowly recognizing them as a threat, not just an annoyance. He's in a really good position to get rid of them without losing his sterling reputation. Any suggestions on how he could do this without tipping his hand that he's a villain to the party until it's too late?

Having them do tasks that kind of fuck up the town, or powerful people only. Tasks like taking a package from the Yarl to X address, instead of Y making it look like you stole it.

[thecorteztwins]

@survival-cfthe-fittest  I'm sorry this took so long! I definitely did think of it every day, but I didn't have time/energy/proper state of mind to actually write it out each day DX It's really really long, not because you need it all but because I'm SUPER wordy and HAVE A LOT OF THOUGHTS and actually wrote more than this but trimmed it down because you asked for advice not a novel. Anyway.

All of this is mere opinion. Do not think of it as fact. And do not think of these suggestions as mandatory. Think of it more like a menu. You look at it, order what you like, and don't bother with what you don't like. I can be absolutely wrong, and if you think I am, you're under no obligation to take all or any of the advice offered. It's simply the perspective of a single person, who is no more an expert or authority than any other. I also really, really want to emphasize not to feel bad. Not only is everyone always learning and growing as a writer, you're already far far ahead of most people just in being open to help (I could name some published writers who refute all criticism, even ditched their editors, and their work went downhill BAD) and you're also trying to tackle a really difficult thing here. This is a REALLY common problem I see in both RP and published work. So don't think for one single millisecond that having this issue in any way makes you a "bad" writer, it does NOT. Literally every single writer, including the very best, has shit they can get better at. And you've got a head start on getting better by starting before publishing! So this is a good thing! The other thing is that it may not even be totally accurate. I don't read your every thread. I actually DO NOT read people's threads, I'm just...not into that for whatever reason. It's more based on stuff I just accidentally have read while scrolling. So if you feel I said you do something that you DON'T do...you're probably right about that and I'm probably wrong/mistaken/saw one incidence and thought it was a regularity. And we also may have differing opinions on Apocalypse's portrayal and what's best suited for him, so if you see something and say, that's not how I see him, go with your interpretation, not mine. I'm trying to help you write what YOU want, not what I want, but I'm human and have biases even when I think I'm trying to give objective advice. I decided to break this down into three parts. The first part is what I think the problem is. The second is why I think it's happening. The third, which is the longest, are suggestions for solutions. You don't need to take every suggestion. I give a lot of different ones because different things work better for different people, and one might work better for you and what you want than others. It also means that if one suggestion doesn't work for you, you have others to choose from. Also, don't feel like you need to follow a suggestion to the letter; maybe you modify it to suit your needs or to cover something I failed to! The first part, the problem, is Apocalypse frequently crossing the line from angst to wangst...or the line from sympathetic to angsty, depending on how you define these terms. He will frequently bring up his personal tragedy to others, detail it at length, and often very swiftly. He comes off as quite EAGER to tell people, including enemies, how much he's suffered. That, or he makes a big deal out of how persecuted and lambasted he is by the heroes, as if they're just big bullies and he's a misunderstood victim they just hate for no reason; for instance, I remember scrolling on my dash and seeing him talking to a Rachel Summers. Within simply four notes, just four, he had said something along the lines of WHAT WOULD YOU KNOW, YOU'RE THE PRETTY PRINCESS AND IM THE UGLY OGRE. It comes off as him and you just wanting everyone to pity him and fawn over him and feel bad. Now, there are people like this. There are real people who feel that their own suffering makes them entitled to do what they want without consequences, and that anyone who tries to stop them is a bully who just doesn't understand. There are people who will try to squeeze pity out of everyone at every turn, and will use tactics like this, will play the victim, will make a big fuss out of how I HAVE SUFFERED AND YOU ARE SELF-RIGHTEOUS AND THINK I'M JUST A DRAGON TO BE SLAIN and blah blah blah. And this can make for a very good attitude for a villain to have, because that mindset lends itself perfectly to villainy. But I don't think it's what you want with Apocalypse. People like that aren't tragic to audiences, they're petty and obnoxious. This is more Fabian territory than anything else. And that's why it's a problem---it's not going to get you what you want from readers. I can honestly say that if I were reading a book and a villain displayed this attitude, I would hate him more, not less, regardless of what happened to him in his past. In real life, people are owed sympathy for terrible things that have happened to them, regardless of who they are or how they handle it. But with fictional characters, it's different. A character has to earn sympathy from the reader. This is why it doesn't work when many writers try to get sympathy by just tacking on abuse, angst, a tragic past, etc., to their character, be it the hero or villain. I once talked to someone who said she felt her character would be boring if she didn't give her a horrible past. But the thing is, just having the tragic past doesn't fix that. If your character is boring, then giving them a tragic past just makes them a boring character with a tacked-on tragedy. It's a cheap trick, and it does not work. You still have to do the work as a writer. You still have to make them interesting and engaging. Similarly, a character with a perfect life can be the most interesting character ever if they're written well, if they engage the reader, etc. Now, I'm not saying that Apocalypse is boring as you write him. He's not. I'm saying that the same lesson still applies here, that simply having abuse in his background and him bringing it up does not make him sympathetic. You still have to do that in the WAY that you write him. The second part, why it's happening, is simple: You love Apocalypse. And that's not a problem, actually. That's GREAT. You SHOULD love your muse, you SHOULD be invested in your muse, you SHOULD be passionate about your muse. How could you write about someone or something well if you're NOT passionate about them? You feel so strongly about Apocalypse and your interpretation of how you see him and it clearly motivates you AND THAT IS TERRIFIC! DON'T LOSE THAT! It's a GREAT strength as a writer! So, where's the problem? The problem is that since you are so passionate about him and wanting to convey your interpretation, you jump the gun. You want others to see him as you do, because of course ALL writers want their readers to see their characters as they do, but you want them to do it really immediately, ASAP, so they don't have time for any misinterpretations to form. Hence why Apocalypse is so swift to tell others about his tragedy or imply it heavily enough so that they ask. You really, really want other characters to KNOW, so you try to get him to inform them as soon as possibly and as overtly as possible, so that they can understand him like you do, because that's important to you. And again, there's nothing wrong with that being important to you, but doing it this way really won't work that well for many readers, for the reasons I already described. So, what are some ways to do that? That's part three, and here are my own suggestions, based on what works for me: - Don't have him open up so easily or so fast or so frequently. This is your biggest problem I think. From what I've seen, he seems almost eager to tell people that he's gone through all this pain and suffering, but his doing that communicates an image of him that, as I already described, I don't think you want to go for. I don't think you intend him as being a pity-seeker, or as someone who is genuinely looking for help (because he isn't supposed to REALIZE he needs help, is he?) If he's someone who keeps his suffering inside, then have him keep his suffering inside. I'm not saying he can never ever open up under any circumstances, but dial it back. Make him more hesitant, make people have to dig instead of him presenting it to them on a silver platter. I think you did this really, REALLY well in the thread with Haven. And I'm gonna break down why/how you did it well, because I think knowing what you did well and why it worked is just as important, if not MORE so, than knowing what doesn't work and why. For starters, Haven approached him as someone interested in speaking to him and about him. He didn't just start spewing his life story at her. In fact, he avoided it. It took a long time. She kept asking him about himself, and he turned the conversation around on HER. He used his powers to sense HER history and brought that up, so the topic became her pregnancy with the Adversary. He redirected things away from himself and on to her tragedy, so she would be the one on the defensive and distracted from him. I don't know if you realized that was what he was doing, but that's what he did. And it was very good! And turning the topic towards childbirth and lost children gave them some degree of common ground. He may not have had sympathy, but he had a sense of understanding, and ergo reason to feel she might possibly understand his pain in this area in kind (this is also important, not just that Haven understood suffering---everyone has suffered in some way---but in the very specific department of losing a child). So his eventually opening up to her makes more sense than doing it to someone who either doesn't have this common ground and/or Apocalypse doesn't KNOW has common ground. You write him as generally seeing the X-Men as coddled spoiled children who have never known pain and can't understand what he's gone through, so why would he bother explaining himself to them, if he thinks there's no way they could understand? And even if they could understand...they're his ENEMIES. Apocalypse has every reason to think they would just use these vulnerabilities AGAINST him and thus it would be foolish to tell them anything. But Haven is not only not an enemy, she's a powerless human and someone that, since he is probing her mind, he knows is extremely gentle and compassionate pacifist and wouldn't do that. And he probably considers that WEAK, but also not dangerous in any way. So that's another reason his opening up to her makes more sense. And another reason why he should be written as really, really wary of doing the same with X-Men and other "hero" characters; a lot of times it seems like he's just giving this info away to them. And from a tactical standpoint, that's something he should be way too smart for. It also makes sense in that she already had a foot in. Haven is canonically supernaturally sensitive to the feelings of others, most especially their pain, and I played her that way. So it's not just that he chose to tell her, it's that she already could feel it anyway, it's just the REASON for it that was a mystery to her. And he FIGHTS HER every step of the way. He's trying to actively dissuade her and boot her out. He did not WANT her to know. He also argued IN FAVOR of the abuse, justifying it with being how it is nature (to which she countered how even the greatest predators nurture their young, and how that makes them strong, whereas neglect and abuse would make them weak) He didn't try to make himself out as the victim of Ba'al at all. And that speaks much more realistically to the idea of someone who has internalized these views, rather than someone who uses their abuse to try to make everyone feel sorry for them. So obviously this is something you can already do! You just gotta learn to pace yourself and not jump the gun. It takes longer, and I know it's so haaard to wait when you just wanna get to the juicy bits, but ultimately it comes out a lot better this way in my opinion. NOTE: RP is for fun. RP is a release. RP is an escape. So if you're having a day where you just wanna get RIGHT TO THOSE JUICY BITS and WALLOW IN THE ANGST or FROLIC IN THE FLUFF, go for it. Do literally everything I told you NOT to do if it makes you happy. This is a guide more on for when you when you want your A-game going, but that doesn't have to be all the time. Sometimes you just want fluff or angst or crack or whatever, and YOU SHOULD DO IT! There's no editor, no publisher, no wider audience, it's you and your partner and you should do what makes YOU happy. The tips I'm giving here are about when you want to seriously step it up. But you don't have to 'seriously step it up" all the time, or any time you don't want to. Your enjoyment trumps "accuracy" and "quality" and all of that. So don't feel like you have to write in RP as if you were writing for Marvel all the time. When you want to jump straight to the juicy bits, or whatever else, feel free to, and don't feel it makes you a bad writer. We all need escapes. Keep that in mind not just for this tidbit of advice but every other bit too. This does mean that some characters will NEVER find out what's going on with Apocalypse. There are some that he will probably never open up to, because he refuses to trust them or they don't dig for it or he won't give them anything when they do dig (because he has doubtless had lots of people, well-intentioned and otherwise, try to touch his heart over the centuries, he is probably good at avoiding it) And you know what? That's fine. Not everyone needs to have a complete, accurate, and sympathetic view of Apocalypse in-universe. The way a reader sees a character and the way the other characters sees a character are COMPLETELY different things. I think you want the other CHARACTERS to see him as you do as much as you want readers to, and that's why you want these characters informed of this stuff as soon as possible...let that desire go. Let him be ICly misunderstood or not wholly understood. That's natural. That's what applies to everyone in real life. Concentrate on his being conveyed well on an OOC level to muns, not on an IC level to muses. - Think about the abuse from Apoc's point of view. If he is trying to forget the pain or rationalize it, he isn't going to emphasize the agony when he talks about it or thinks about it. He won't play up how bad it was or bad it hurt, he won't try to convey how horrible it was, because that would mean acknowledging and revisiting how horrible it actually was. And if he's trying to avoid that, well...he'll avoid it. Many actual victims of abuse minimize it, they don't play it up, they say the bruise wasn't that big, that it didn't happen that often, etc. In fact, it's a SIGN of abuse that the victim will try to make the abuse seems as small as possible. This is an established thing that professionals are taught to look for. And it's not just when the abuse is going on; one of the biggest struggles that many victims have for YEARS afterwards is accepting how big the abuse actually was and learning to recognize how much they were actually hurt. But sometimes, you write Apocalypse as doing the reverse, he emphasizes how horrible it was, the point he almost seems like he's bragging about it. And that doesn't make him sympathetic, it actually makes him really unlikeable, because it comes off as him thinking he's the biggest victim in the world and everyone needs to feel sorry for him RIGHT NOW. It's a very bratty attitude, and I don't think it's what you're going for. Alternatively, instead of just trying to minimize it, he could be grateful for it, which I think you are going for sometimes, that he's grateful because he believes it made him strong. If he is grateful for it because in his twisted mind it made him strong so it was his father helping him, he will emphasize its pain rather than minimizing, but he would do it in a good way, talk about it like it was some fantastic gift, not as if it were horrible. Which is actually a fuck ton creepier than if he made a big deal about it in a bad way, and shows how mentally warped it made him. - Your Apocalypse also seems to lament that he (he believes) is seen as a monster by everyone. Like I said, I remember a thread with a Rachel Summers where in just four notes, he was saying there was no way she could understand him because she was the beautiful princess and he was the ugly ogre. It came off as very self-pitying, a poor-me everyone-hates-me deal. But I think that's more YOUR lament as a fan of his and less something he would actually be upset about, let alone express in such a way (especially since, again, showing a weak spot to an enemy) I think it would be more in character for him to be indifferent or even take pride in it. I mean, a big thing about him is that he sees himself as "beyond good and evil" right? And he's got a big ego. This seems like a dude that probably does not care for the opinions of lesser mortals. Especially since those same opinions have been applied to him over and over. You write him as having been called a monster a LOT, and he probably has---first for his appearance, but then later through his deeds. You do the things he's done, and the majority of the world is going to hate you. Meaning, he's used to hate, he's used to being called any number of things, he's used to seeing himself as being misunderstood for doing what he thinks is right and necessary. He's used to it on a scale of thousands of years. So, if he's used to it...he's probably got a hell of a thick skin regarding it. I remember reading the advice of another writer who said she finds it completely unbelievable when a character who is meant to be a victim of bullying for YEARS still bursts into tears at the taunts of bullies, because it seems impossible to her that the character would still be so thin-skinned. Especially since showing bullies they have an effect on you gurantees they'll come back for more, so most victims try to make a facade of NOT being effected, even when they are. Also, not to make this personal, but since I do find looking at the emotions of real people helps with writing, and that includes oneself....you mentioned that the nasty things you've said to yourself have made you build a high tolerance for insults and meanness from other people. Just apply that here and imagine that tolerance being built more and more for hundreds and hundreds of years. It might hurt suuuuuper deep down, but the key word is DEEP, not close enough to the surface to be so sensitive about it. He might not even REALIZE the idea that others think of him the "ugly ogre" hurts him. In fact, he might even take pride in it. Consider...what's more powerful, an ogre or a princess? Which character is the "strong" one in the story? The ogre. And power and strength are what Apoc values. The princess is a weak figure that others rescue, the ogre is the threat, and to be a threat, one must be strong. A weak threat isn't a threat at all, after all. Apocalypse might well ENJOY being seen as a monster (or believing others see him that way--he seems to take it for granted that they must) because people fear monsters, and people fear monsters because of the power that monsters have, of what monsters can do to them, and I think that would make "monster" a compliment to Apoc because it's telling him that people are afraid of him and what he can do, proving his power and worth in his mind. So, most likely, Apoc might not CARE about being seen as the monster. Or maybe even be PROUD that he is, and try to further that view. You the writer may utterly disagree with him and believe he's NOT a monster, but resist the temptation to speak through him about how he isn't and how awful it is to call him that, because what you the writer know and what Apocalypse believes should be two different things. I think this also helps play up how sincerely he believes in his doctrine, and how far removed his values are from the standard human morality, that this would be a compliment to him rather than something hurtful. Taking pride in it is is also a lot more dignified than moping and moaning; a character than crumples into self-pity after a single insult doesn't really inspire majesty and awe like Apocalypse should. - Differentiate between what you want and what Apocalypse wants. You want others to see him as sympathetic. But does he? Or does he want them to see him as strong? And being sympathetic and being strong...aren't things I think can co-exist in HIS worldview. After all, why would there be any reason to feel sorry for the strong, right? So he's probably unlikely to tell people things that would make them feel sympathy for him. In fact, he's probably MORE likely to do the reverse, and tell them about his great deeds and accomplishments...which, while great in his eyes, might well be horrific and evil in the eyes of others. But even if they're seeing him as evil, might that not be preferable in his eyes than them feeling sorry for him, as if he was some weakling? So, yes, this will result in a lot of characters seeing him as just pure unsympathetic awful, if he's only telling them the terrible things he's done and never mentioning anything terrible that happened to him. But I think that actually works because, well, remember what Haven said about diamonds being like people? How they have different sides but all those sides are real? In real life, most people will just see one side of you. The side my boss sees is not the side my father sees is not the side my best friend sees is not the side of me that I see. So it's more realistic if different characters have different viewpoints of Apocalypse depending which sides that they see, rather than having the same view pushed on all of them. Which also brings me to the idea that other muses don't need to have a "correct" view of him, or a "complete" view. Like I said, in real life, nobody knows somebody completely. So have Nur inform everyone of his past and why he is like he is, not only doesn't seem like something he'd do, it also comes off as an attempt on the writer's level to make sure that other characters are viewing him the way the writer wants the reader to view him. But the characters aren't the reader. The characters can and absolutely should have incomplete, incorrect, biased, and diverse views about everyone else. So as a writer, don't feel concerned about convincing other muses that Nur is not evil and not a monster and went through lots of horrible things. The characters are not the reader. If Nur doesn't want other people to know what he's been through---and, again, I don't think he would---don't make him tell them just because you want these muses to share your view of him. Be okay with them being wrong about him. I think a lot of Nur's oversharing comes from you knowing how you see him and knowing all about him and wanting other characters to see him "accurately" but it ends up as Nur just info-dumping every crappy thing in his life at people the first chance he gets, which comes off as him wanting everyone to feel sorry for him and as trying to limit the diversity of character viewpoints. - There can be a middle ground between a character knowing nothing about Apocalypse and knowing everything about his loss and history and pain and all of that. A very wide middle ground, in fact. For instance, say they get close enough to see the statues of his queens. They might wander who these women are, why they're immortalized like this. If they dare ask him, he might just say they're his past mates, but not elaborate on anything about them, not name names or share memories or talk about his children or anything like that. Just give a flat answer that technically is true but nothing else. So they're left to just wonder about what his relationship was with these women, if he loved them, how he treated them, why he wanted to remember them, etc. They may never get answers but they do get some additional information about Apocalypse from which to draw their own conclusions. And these conclusions may be wrong, but Apocalypse, not giving a shit about the opinions of others, probably won't correct them if they are. So don't rush to have him tell them everything. Let them come upon bits and pieces on their own, and put together in their own heads what they think. They may have some parts correct. They may have even more incorrect. But whatever they come up with, it's a unique viewpoint to them and will give them a more unique dynamic in how they approach Apocalypse, regardless of it is correct or not, which is more interesting and realistic than making sure everyone knows everything about him. - Consider having him greet the X-Men with taunting rather than with woe-is-me you're-so-mean guilting. Again, when Rachel shows up, he springs that "you're the princess I'm the ogre" thing within four notes, it's an obvious guilt trip thing, it's immediately putting himself in the poor misunderstood victim position and framing the X-Men as judgemental assholes who just hate him. And there are definitely villains I could see doing that. Fabian, for instance, would use that tactic. But canonically, I don't think Apocaypse is that type? You've surely read more of him than I have, so I could be wrong. But check out this section from a comic summary on UncannyXMen.net: "Apocalypse reaches the shore, and begins the climb up a steep cliff face. ‘Whoever you are - you must know I will not yield. For I take sustenance - I take joy - in the struggle with my pain!’ Apocalypse exclaims. ‘Summoned too soon from the embryonic embrace of my restorative womb…I will seek out my Horsemen!’ he boasts as he approaches the building at the top of the cliff and smashes his way into it. ‘I will know why they sought to challenge the X-Men - the great unwashed - on their own initiative’ Apocalypse tells himself. ‘How fortuitous for you, oh, ancientest of adversaries’ remarks Dr Hank McCoy a.k.a. the Beast as he stands with his teammates - Ororo “Storm” Munroe, Bobby “Iceman” Drake, Warren “Archangel” Worthington and Piotr ��Colossus” Rasputin as well as X-Factor’s Pietro “Quicksilver” Maximoff. The Beast informs Apocalypse that they took it upon themselves to bring his Horsemen here, to Apocalypse’s former abode. ‘Welcome home, Apocalypse!’ Colossus stands over the unmoving Horsemen - Caliban, Famine and War - as he informs Apocalypse that they are here in search of their comrades. ‘We have reason to believe you know where they are!’ Colossus adds. Iceman tells Apocalypse not to think that his sickly complexion means they are going to take it easy on him. ‘Believe me, children - I would have it no other way!’ Apocalypse replies. " Notice how he doesn't guilt them for attacking him while he's down, he doesn't whine about being cast as the bad guy or the monster, he doesn't justify himself and what he does, he doesn't even object to their actions. He's just like, come at me bro. I would try for that more. You may want the heroes to see things from Apoc's side, but Apoc is not the type to feel he needs justification, is he? Heck, having him WANT them to attack him would also be a good way to show firstly his devotion to his beliefs---testing the strong--and also show off his ego in his confidence they can't possibly win - Imagine how having the powers he does would affect his view of himself vs the people around him. I admit, this actually IS NOT a tip about the topic at hand (making Nur sympathetic and realistic as an abuse victim without crossing the line to whiny) but more just one I think is useful in general when playing a mutant, especially a powerful one. I know I've thought about it a LOT with Anne Marie, because she got her powers at a younger age than most, before puberty, and her powers are also pretty serious ones---controlling the minds and emotions of other people. So, how does it shape the view of a child when they can do that, is what I ask myself? How does that much power over other people that early in life shape who she is now? Let's take a look at Apocalypse's situation. He's born obviously different from everyone else, that's got to produce feelings of strangeness and isolation. Even if everyone else had treated him well and accepted him, he'd still likely feel that way, because it's natural to wonder 'why do I look like this'? And unlike modern mutants, he wouldn't have an explanation. He doesn't know what a mutant is and neither does anybody else. But then come the powers. I don't know when he got his powers, but they're a lot bigger than Anne Marie's, and he's now had them for thousands of years. So for thousands of years, he's had these immense abilities that could crush others with a mere thought, destroy with a whim, etc. How does shape how he looks at and relates to other people? I feel like it would end up isolating him more, because he can no longer look at others as equal, he can't engage with people as equals knowing that, if he felt like it, he could just rip them apart as easily as blinking. You can't have arguments with people like that, or learn to respect them, or any other number of normal things that are a part of ordinary human experience. And even though he may have hated himself as a freak, I also feel that it's hard after a certain point not to look down on others as well. He has all this power, and they don't. He can do things they can't, survive things they can't, he doesn't age, he's like a different species and they're clearly the weaker ones. It would be lonely, and yet, at the same time...it's got to give you an ego too. Especially since, again, he would be the only one of his kind he knew of, he wouldn't know other mutants, so his best explanation would probably be, as others thought, that he was a god or demon or an offspring of such, or that he'd been blessed in some way. So he'd either be thinking of himself as something other than human, and thus apart from them and their rules and laws and relationships, or he'd be thinking of himself as blessed, and therefore deserving of these abilities and the benefits they bring, and ergo, everyone else is undeserving, so he's better than they are. It creates a blend of loneliness and ego, of feeling separate but also feeling everyone else isn't good enough, and I think you've been playing this up pretty well, actually. I just figured this might be some more food for thought to help you even more. Another thing is that his long lifespan probably makes him that much more indifferent to others---they're gone so fast, what do they matter, and it's not like there's not a million more like them. Or maybe you think Apocalypse would handle all this in totally different way than I'm describing---which also fine! Just, think about it is all, because his existence, both in his longevity and his power, are so different from our own, I feel like it must create a really unique perspective on his part, and thinking about what that is will probably help your overall portrayal, not just this one aspect of it. - And finally.... ....even if your portrayal is absolutely perfect in every way and logically should get across everything you want it to...there's still gonna be some people who don't view him as you want them to, and that's not your fault, and you shouldn't worry about it, because there is nothing you can do in some cases. Whenever there's a villain, especially a big and/or important villain, there will always be two camps of people: the ones determined to woobify them into a precious lump with no faults no matter what, and the OPPOSITE extreme. And then there's just the fact that everyone sees things a little differently, different ways of writing effects different people, etc, and some are more different than others for whatever reason. So stuff that GENERALLY works on a GENERAL audience will always have outliers. Don't fret about it. Just do your best. And also don't fret if your best is not PERFECT, or what you necessarily had in your head. I know that this is easier said than done. I beat myself up HUGELY for not being able to get what's in my head properly on to paper, because I know I have good ideas if only I could just CONVEY them well. It drives me nuts. I am sure it drives you nuts too. I think it drives anyone nuts who writes. And I don't have any secret to making peace with it, besides to just keep working on it because it's something you love and enjoy, and be proud of the progress you do make instead of ashamed of the progress you haven't yet made.