#im internally screaming god i hate dating drama

[1eos]

It’s insane how ppl were going on about the missing members but not saying a fcking thing about taeks insane work schedule he’s had. like he was happy to do the concerts but my god man how are you doing this??? especially since wss is so dance heavy. Like have you seen him in the curtain call pictures/videos of the 8th the day after the concerts he looks gone. and right, they literally updated on all their sns, what else were they to do?? send carrier pigeons out?? I miss vixx as a whole but I’m not gonna be screaming about ppl who don’t like or hate a certain member or are ot-whatever, arguing over stupid stuff on twt. like at this point and for a long while now im just interested in taek lmaoo. (but with a side jaehwan tho I’m currently in a hate love situation with him 😖anyway forget that) doesn’t mean I hate the others, doesn’t mean im gonna keep up with them either. twts arguments are ridiculous, I don’t have time for that. (although i do like to nosey in on a little drama) I have taek pictures to gather and post, and gifs to make for the ppls here lmaooooo ✨😘

no literally!!!! 😭😭😭 all the discourse from international starlights about how ~evil~ jelpi is for ~purposefully~ picking dates when hakyeon was busy but not a peep on how fucking INSANE it was to do 2 concert dates then west side story the very next day? when i realized that i was like helloooo???? leo's out of his mind who just does that??? i would need a week of rest beforehand to do all them cartwheels and pirouettes and that's not even taking singing into account. granted he looked full of energy at the concert but i did see videos from the 8th and it was like a ghost...like yeah ik your ass is tired now wtf?

anyways i get that ppl will always miss the 'golden ot6 days' and while *i'm* totally satisfied w this soloist leo era i'm not gonna beef w ppl who say theyre gonna boycott vixx until they reform under groovlin with hongbin even tho that's never gonna happen lmaoooo. i just don't get what ppl are arguing over anyways 😭😭 getting mad at each other isn't gonna change the fact that the group just is not gonna be whole all the time. i guess it was easy for me to get over bc i cared abt one member 99% of the time and i also accepted when the contracts were being renewed that things probably wouldn't be the same. like can we get the grieving period over with already and celebrate that leo's got boobs!

all this being said when i hear the girls are fighting i fucking runnnnnnn to my laptop bc i love laughing at the absurdity of it all. someone was mad at 3vixx for even agreeing to do the concert with hakyeon 😭😭😭 like whattttlkafklafkalggjkajfakjaffa? i think they were just mad that another member was CLEARLY busy but still pulled an insane stunt to make the concert

[lethal-effect]

i cant deal with this stuff is bev cheating on erlin idk whats going on szdffghjhgfd

[fatrainbowmermaidunicorn]

Didn’t I Tell You That I Love You? (Jungkook x You) // Chapter 1

A/N: Im sorry if the first chapter seems a little slow, cliche or boring, but ya know… its the first chapter. hehe

MASTERLIST

Jeon Jungkook is an international playboy.

He knows he’s an international playboy.

He knows how sexy he is.

He knows how handsome he is.

He knows he is sought after.

He knows how just by flashing his innocent bunny like smile or a simple smirk can drive most girls crazy.

He knows he breaks women’s heart everyday, bedding them and never calling them back.

What he doesnt know however, is how to get his best friend to fall in love with him.

That’s right, Jeon Jungkook the cocky playboy is head over heels, deeply and pathethically in love with his best friend, Y/N, for years.

And he doesnt know what to do or how to tell her.

And she on the other hand is oblivious about his feelings, parading her beloved boyfriend of five years in front of Jungkook whenever they hung out.

Jungkook had known even from his teenage years that Y/N is the only girl for him. She is his perfect match in every way. He just doesnt have the confidence or the bravery to confess to her, always planning to finally make her his one day after he debuted and gain some well earned manliness and confidence. But all that dream burns to ashes when Y/N came to see him one day, hands tightly clasps in another boy��s, introducing him as the love of her life, her boyfriend and him only as Jeon Jungkook, the best friend. Heart shattered and with teeth clenched, Jungkook accept the boy’s friendly handshake and since then he has been burying himself in girls, trying to get these feelings for Y/N out from his head.

He is an international superstar. It will be easy right?

Wrong.

In every girl Jungkook dated or slept with, he always try to find a piece of Y/N in them, the same hair colour, the same kind of smile, similar sound of lauhgter, but nothing coukd ever compare to the real thing, making his relationship never last longer than a few dates. Jungkook finally gives up the hope of finding Y/N’s replacement and decide to just live up to his name, an international playboy.

“You okay Jungkook?” The boys gathered around him, face lined with worry.

“Take it easy,”

“I’m fine. I feel better now. Just need some rest and I’m good to go,” he replied curtly to his hyungs. Due to over practice and inproper diet, Jungkook almost fainted during one of their concert and is brought backstage. The other members advised him to just sit the rest of the show out, saying the fans will understand. They always care about his health more than his ability to perform, but Jungkook being the competitve man he is, would never admit to weakness. After the paramedic gave him the necessary treatment, he is ready to go after the next interval.

“You are so stubborn!” Jimin huffed.

“Jungkookie!” Jungkook whipped his head around towards the sound and found Y/N running towards him, in panic and breathless. Despite being sick, he cant stop the smile from creeping on his face once he saw her face.

“Y/N? What are you doing here? I thought you cant come to the show?” He cocked his head, confused.

“Namjoon oppa called me! He said you fainted! I came here as fast as I could. Are you alright?” Y/N rambled, hands moving all over Jungkook’s sweaty and shirtless body and face, trying to see if he is alright. Jungkook turned to look at Namjoon who just shrugged and quickly went away, avoiding the maknae’s wrath that he knows is coming for telling Y/N about his condition.

“I’m alright Y/N,” he grabs both of her hands that is still busy wondering all over his face, stopping her and chuckled. “Namjoon-hyung is just overreacting. I’m okay. I will be able to perform again in a few minutes,” Y/N smacked his hard chest.

“God, can you please stop scaring me? I almost died when I heard and here you are laughing at me?!” she pouts. “How many times do I have to tell you to make sure to take care of yourself? What’s the point of overpracticing snd not eating if you cant perfom well after that?!”

“Okay mom,” he rolled his eyes but the smile still didnt leave his lips. “I promise I will. Now stop worrying,” Jungkook assured here. It always makes him extremely happy to see how concern Y/N is about him. Sure they are the best of friends, of course Y/N worries about him a lot, but it just did a little something to his heart. Jungkook finally have a chance to finally look closely at Y/N and take in her beautiful face. He raised an eyebrow when he sees how nice she is dressed.

“Why are you dressed so nicely?”

“I was in a middle of a date with Jae Hwa. Its our 5 years anniversary remember? I told you that! That’s why I cant come to your show. How can you forget?” Y/N placed both her hands on her hips and pouts. “I knew it. You never pay attention to me during our phone calls!” Although Jungkook thinks her action is extremely adorable, but the mention of being on a date with Jae Hwa ruined all the good mood he felt.

“Oh. Ya. I forgot. Sorry,” he looks around. “Where is he then?”

“He went to find the parking. You know you have about millions of fans right? The carpark is packed!” Y/N teased. “Oh, here he is now,” she motioned towards the backstage entrance and an impecabbly dressed Jae Hwa rushed in. Jungkook has to admit that there is absolutely nothing wrong with Jae Hwa. He is handsome, smart, a gentleman, treat Y/N right and have no problem with his girlfriend being best friends with an international idol. Jungkook sometimes wished he wouldnt be so perfect so he could find a reason to steal Y/N away, but she is happy with Jae Hwa, and that means the world to him.

“Hey babe, sorry. This place is packed!” he slide a hand around Y/N’s waist and smile at Jungkook. Jungkook runs his tounge in the inside of his cheeks at his gesture, a well known sign of his jealousy that he cant avoid everytime he saw Jae Hwa with Y/N. “How are you doing Jungkook? Y/N here is crying like crazy in the car all the way here. I was extremely panic I dont know what to do!” Jae Hwa exclaimed. Y/N playfully hits his arms.

“I did not!” Jae Hwa turn to look at his girlfriend with eyes filled with so much love it almost makes Jungkook barfed right then and there.

“Yes you did baby. I thought Jungkook is dying!” he held Y/N closer. “I dont think I have ever driven a car that fast in my entire life!” he chuckled. Jungkook awkwardly laughs back and realized he didnt answer Jae Hwa’s question.

“I’m fine actually. Namjoon-hyung and Y/N are just both drama queens! But thanks for bringing her here so fast Jae Hwa,” he nodded his thanks to the man.

“No problem man. Glad to see you are okay,”  Jae Hwa shrugged. “Phew, your group is really well know huh? I have to pushed my way through over a hundred of screaming girls!” He exclaimed, surprised at Jungkook’s popularity. “No wonder you sre the international playboy, he winks, making Jungkook frowned. He hate that nickname. He hates it even more when its called in front of Y/N or if Y/N herself calls him that. He glanced towards her but before Y/N can say anything else, two paramedics came and asked them to give some space for Jungkook.

"Sorry, but he needs space to relax and breathe before he goes on stage. Only one of the members and his girlfriend is allowed in here,” Jungkook is confused and turned around to see who the paramedic meant by his girlfriend and saw the girl from last night came rushing in, face concerned and worried.

“HunnyBunny! Are you okay?” the girl, who Jungkook cant even remember the name rushed to his side and worriedly wiped his face, checking to see his condition. Jungkook immediately turns to look at Y/N who is trying to sniffle her giggle. When she noticed Jungkook is looking at her, she mouthed a question to him behind the girl’s back. Jungkook hates this. He hates it when Y/N saw his latest conquest. He hates it even more when she always giggle and teased him, not at all showing any sign of jealousy. It just proves that she really didnt have any feelings for him.

“HunnyBunny? Are you for real?” and she giggled even louder, making the girl turned around and glare at her.

“Excuse me? Who are you?” she crossed her arms across her chest and stare pointedly at Y/N.

“Urm. Nobody,” Y/N quickly answered, still giggling. Jae Hwa pulled her close and try to lead her out. There is no point in explaning who she is to the girl. Y/N knows Jungkook better than anyone else. The girl will be gone from his life in a few days.

“Err come on babe. Lets go then. We dont want to impose. We should leave Jungkook here with his… err.. girlfriend,” Jae Hwa smile and quickly pulled Y/N out, only giving her time to give Jungkook a small wave.

“Wait!” Y/N turns around. “You are not staying for the rest of the show?” Jungkook asks, hopeful. He loves it when Y/N watches his show. It somehow gives him more motivation to do well, just to impressher. Y/N shakes her head.

“Not today Jungkookie. I have a date to finish,” she glanced towards Jae Hwa who smile shyly. “If you know what I mean,” she winked. “See you later Jungkookie. Take care okay,” and she went out before Jungkook can reply, leaving him with the girl he dont even remember the name of.

Oh, he knows exactly what Y/N meant by their date. Its their five years anniversary after all. Y/N is just his best friend and she is in love with someone else, so why does Jungkook’s heart pound harder whenever she’s around and it dropped when Y/N saw him with another girl?

Why does his heart just wants to hug her, kiss her, claimed her everytime he saw her? Jungkook shakes his head.

He is screwed. And he knows it.

/////

“Did Y/N came by just now?” Jimin asks after they settled down in in their car, ready to go back to the dorm after the tiring show.

“Yeah. She did. Namjoon-hyung called her,” he glanced at the leader who purposely avoided his gaze, sticking his earphones in quickly.

“Oh. Where is she? You dont usually come back with us and go see her after our show whenever she come by,” Jimin question him, leaning closer to the maknae who’s sitting in the front seat.

“Nah. She’s on a date with Jae Hwa. Its their 5th year anniversary. She just came to check on me,”

“Oh…” the car fell quiet. The boys know exactly how Jungkook feel about Y/N and how he uses different girls every other night to forget about her. They sympathize the maknae, but there is nothing they can do. Not even an advice can be given. Jungkook can have any girl he wants, but he is head over heels in love with Y/N and they know his feelings wont change any time soon.

“Hey Kookie?” Taehyung’s quiet voice breaks the silent air. Jungkook breaks away from his daydream about Y/N and turns to look at him.

“Yes hyung?”

“Did you ever tell Y/N that you love her?”

Jungkook turns back in his seat and sighed. That is a question that no one ever asks him before. The truth is, he didnt. He never told Y/N how he felt, and he couldnt blame her now for not noticing his feelings. They have been friends for years, how could she know about his feelings if he never told her. Its his fault, really. He knows one day he’s going to have to man up and finally tell her his true feelings, doesnt matter if Y/N accepts him or not. She just needs her to know.

“No, I didnt hyung. I have never told her I love her… yet. But I will. Someday…” he answered Taehyung, so softly that he wondered if Taehyung even heard him.

/////

“Y…Y/N? Are you okay?” Jungkook immediately sits up on his bed, snapping awake from his groggy state once he registered the voice on the other line as Y/N. It has been about a week since he last saw her, which is at the concert. His pack schedule stopping hjm from seeing her as much as he would like, even to just drop by for a quick hi. He had planned to go to her apartment and have some breakfast together the next day, but its now 2 am and Y/N is calling him, sobbing her hearts’ out, making Jungkook panic.

“I…I’m… Kookie can you come over?” she wailed. Jungkook waited not another second before grabbing his jacket and dashing out of the door. It doesnt matter what time it is or how tired he is. If Y/N needs him, he sure as hell going to be there.

“Hey, hey. I’m here. Calm down and tell me what’s wrong,” Jungkook patted Y/N’s head who has buried her face in his chest, crying. Its only about 15 minutes later and he arrived at Y/N’s front door and she immediately ran into his embraced, sobbing her eyes out. Jungkook slowly led her to the couch and sat her down, wiping any access tears left on her beautiful face.

“What’s wrong Y/N? I havent seen you for a week and you call me, crying! You are making me crazy worry! Tell me what’s wrong, please,” he asks slowly.

“I was just on the phone with my parents and grandparents,” she sobbed. Jungkook nodded, giving her time to continue her story. Y/N and him are childhood friends who came from the same hometown. Their family is as close as the two of them are, despite Y/N’s family owning a lot of major businesses, making her family one of the richest family in the city. Their family goes way back to the friendship between their granparents who are best friends, and went to their fathers, and now them. Jungkook’s parents and grandparents adore Y/N and so does hers, always asking about him whenever she goes back to visit. “Grandfather said he has something important to talk to me about… and… and…” she cried out before she can finished her sentence. Jungkook panics. What happened? Did something happen to her grandfather? To her family?

“What is it Y/N? Please tell me. Whatever it is, I’m sure its going to be okay,” Y/N tried to calm herself and continued.

“They are setting me up for an arranged marriage!” she wailed. “An arranged marriage Kookie!” Jungkook is stunt for a moment. The only thing that is registered inside his head is Y/N is getting married. And not to him. He felt a lump in his heart and tried to keep calm. He needs to get more information about this whole thing.

“Arranged marriage? Do you know the boy?” He asks carefully, not wanting to upset her more.

“I dont know! That’s the problem Kookie. They are selling me off to some boy that I dont even know!” Y/N is wailing again. “Jae Hwa is going crazy. He is so mad he doesnt even want to talk to me! I dont want to marry amybody else but him Kookie!”

Oh right. Jae Hwa. Y/N’s actual boyfriend. Jungkook totally forgot about him. If Jungkook himself is going crazy when he heard the news, he cant imagine what Jae Hwa is feeling right now. To have Y/N as his own and loose her to some family arrangement. He must be dying right now.

Jungkook swiped Y/N’s hair from her face and look at her. “You know what, lets go home tomorrow. The two of us. We will see what they have got to say first. And I will help you to talk some sense into them. Okay?” Jungkook suggested. He felt that is the only help he can offer to Y/N right now. Y/N nodded weakly.

“Okay Kookie. But dont you have a schedule?”

“No,” he shakes his head. “We have a few fays of break. I planned to come and take you breakfast tomorrow actually,” he smiled.

She softly nodded and pulled herself closer into Jungkook’s embraced. “Can you stay the night with me? I always feel safe with you,” she whispered, eyes heavy with exhaustion. Jungkook patted her head lovingly and smile at her childlike innocent

“Of course I will Y/N,” he whispered back. “I will always do anything for you,” he added under his breathe and kiss her forehead.

/////

“Oh, Y/N, Jungkook! What a surprise. We didnt know you were coming back. Why didnt you inform me? I could have prepared some special meal!” Y/N’s mother exclaimed when she opened the huge brass door of their mansion. Both Jungkook and Y/N hugged her mother and smile. Y/N glared at her.

“I think you perfectly know why I came back mother,” Mrs Lee chuckled and turns to Jungkook.

“She’s a feisty one isnt she? I dont know how you put up with her all these years. You are the only one who can!” Jungkook just laughed at her statement.

“Its not that hard Auntie. She’s kind of lovable actually,” he ruffled her head, making Y/N groaned and Mrs Lee smile at the affection shown between the two.

“Come into the living room. Your father and grandfather is there,” she looks at Jungkook. “Oh, so is your parents Jungkook,” both Jungkook and Y/N look at each other and shrugged. The two families visiting each other on daily basis is common knowledge to them. They are that close to each other. Jungkook held Y/N’s hand and lead her into the living area, rubbing her back, reassuring her that he will be there every step of the way.

“Oh look! How sweet. They are so cute together, dont you think honey?” Mrs Lee exclaimed once she saw they were holding hands, alerting the rest in the living room.

“Oh! My busy idol son is home!” Mrs Jeon quickly stood up and hugged Jungkook tightly, then turned to Y/N to give her the same bear hug. Y/N grins and went to kiss her father and grandfather on the cheeks.

“When are ever going to stop calling me that mom?” Jungkook grumbled. “Its embarassing,”

“When you stop being an idol!” she quickly replied back, making Jungkook groaned. “I’m proud of my son and I’m going to tell everyone about it,” she huffed. The rest of the man chuckled.

“What are you guys all doing here? Everybody looks so serious. I’m sure this is not just another normal dinner you usually have?” Y/N questioned. Everybody kept quiet at her question until her father cleared his throat.

“We are discussing something quite serious Y/N. As you know, which we have informed you yesterday,” he paused, gauging Y/N’s reaction, who is sending him a death glare. “And I think it is also the reason for your surprised visit today, no?”

“No more dilly dally son,” Y/N’s grandfather’s interrupt. “Its about your arranged marriage,” Y/N loves her grandfather to death, but he can be very serious and determined when he wants to, and this is one of those moments.

“Grandpa… I dont want to,” she whined.

“Give me a good reason why? You know by being born in this family, the possibilities of an arranged marriage is always there on the table,” he said sternly. Y/N looks at Jungkook for encouragement and he smile at her, telling her its okay to go on.

“Well, first I love Jae Hwa! And I know you know that. And-”

“That no good boy?! That’s not going to happen!” Her grandfather cut her off. Y/N stomped her feet, frustrated that he wont even listen to her. She knows Jae Hwa has never been her family’s favorite, but she doesnt understand why? Jae Hwa has been treating her with respect, trying hard to win her family’s favors, but he just wasnt able to wiggle his way into their hearts.

“And second, how do you expect me to marry some boy I dont even know?! This is not the Joseon era Grandpa! You cant just marry me off! Dont I get the chance to see if I can get along with the man I have to marry first?” Y/N try to reason. Her grandfather always responded to practical reasoning, maybe this way it will get through to him and she can buy more time to find her way out from this mess. Jungkook nodded, agreeing with what she said, although in his heart he hopes she will neber ever hit it off with that boy or Jae Hwa. He only wants Y/N for himself.

Even in this extremely tense atmosphere, everybody in the room, except for Jungkook and Y/N of course, laughs at what Y/N is saying.

“Why are you guys laughing? Is ruining my life funny to you?!” Y/N is fuming. How dare they laughed at her!

“No darling,” her father assurred. “Its just that if not knowing the boy is your biggest problem, then considered it settled,” Y/N raised an eyebrow. What are they talking about now? Jungkook’s father smile and finally opened his mouth.

“You are marrying my son Y/N. You are marrying Jungkook,”

[5hfanfiction]

our broken white rose ⇾ camren

a/n: hi guys…!!! i suck, I fuckin know. i haven’t updated since august and truly honestly, i have no excuse other than life happened and shit hit the fan. i kinda wanna explain so y'all know even tho most of you probably don’t give a fuck honestly. ok sooo for starters as some of you may know or knew but forgot, i have a fiancée and we were trying to get pregnant and have a kid awhile ago and she did successfully get pregnant and well… things have been hectic. looks like we’re expecting double the trouble. twin girls lol. um, idk it took me awhile to wrap my head around it. i kinda envisioned parenthood at one at a time even tho the possibility of multiple is there, i never thought it’d go down in my life. but i guess this is god’s plan for me and i’m gonna love those two girls with all my heart.

college has truly been kicking my ass, on top of my moody, grumpy and randomly sad as fuck fiancée, but i’m getting by. currently on winter break so i decided i’d finally sit down and update. my fiancée went out to south jersey to visit her parents and i’m here in north jersey with the house finally to myself. maybe i can make a mess without getting yelled at by her now fhdjdjdkd lol. anyways, that’s basically the gist of what’s been going on. college wants me dead, my fiancée is carry two fetuses inside her and her due date is approaching dangerously fast. lmao. don’t you live life? smh.

anyways, the last thing i wanna share with y'all before i start the story is, I HAVE A NEW BOOK THAT IM ACTUALLY GONNA BE COMMITTED TO COMING OUT RIGHT ATTER I PUBLISH THIS CHAPTER! its called ‘one night stand’ and yesss, it has smut. so please go check it out after this. i have some really cool ideas for it but i need feedback on whether i should waste my time continuing or not. for my tumblr readers, its most likely up on my wattpad as you read this so go follow it @ wthbello and add the book to your library. please comment and vote. with that being said, i hope you enjoy the story. make sure to read end of the chapter questions and answer them. thanks so much, enjoy my usual angst filed, depressing ass stories!

***

“She what?” Both Camila and Lauren shouted in unison as they slowly but frantically followed after Lucy.

Lucy walked at a jagged pace desperately attempting to reach her rental as she explained. “She was granted parol and was released today. Janelle asked me to come see her today, you know, figure out a way to get her out. She was going on and on about how Lola had a plan to go and get your kids. Dustin, Lana and Luna. So I tracked you down to warn you,” she explained in a rushed tone as they finally reached her rented Mazda.

Camila eyes Lucy in suspicious, still anxious being around her after everything. “How did you even get out?” She asked before her eyes enlarged as realization struck. She looked at Lauren in panic. “T-The kids. They’re with Normani, she just took Dustin not too long ago,” Camila had completely forgotten all about Ariana. I’ll text her later, she thought distractedly as her two daughters and infant son came to mind.

Lucy stopped at the vehicle taking a deep breath. She looked them dead in the eye as she pulled the drivers side handle open. “I’ve been out for two months Camila,” the last thing on her mind was explaining her reasoning. She didn’t want to talk about. She didn’t feel she needed to talk about it. She just wanted to forget. Lucy climbed in the all black car, leaving her door open as she peered up at the two mother’s before her. “As for Normani, Tori’s got it,” Lucy smirked. “Now get the fuck in the car.”

Lauren spoke up for the first time in awhile, “What the hell is going on Lucia?” Her hands shook as she gazed down at the woman. So much built up anger and hatred yet confusion and hurt bubbled within her as she stared the woman down.

Lucy’s smirk soon fell as regret and sorrow filled her eyes. “I was terrible… to both of you. I fucked up so much in the last and this is my chance to fix it. Please. Trust me.”

Maybe a couple years ago, Lauren would jump at the thought of trusting Lucy. How couldn’t she? She’d never lie to her, correct? Wrong. For years, she was lied to and fooled to believe the love of her life, the mother of her children, was gone. And Lucy was an accomplice. She didn’t think she could ever trust the woman again. But something about the look in Lucy’s eyes seemed to draw her in. She wasn’t sure how she was feeling, but right now she knew her safety, Camila’s safety and hers were in severe danger with that crazy bat out.

Camila and Lauren both looked at each other before sharing a small, risky mutual agreement. Lauren rounded the vehicle and got in the passenger seat as Camila went into the back, sitting in the middle so she could peer at the two women in front of her.

“Where to?” Camila asked.

Lucy turned to look at the woman in the backseat, a small smirk playing on her lips. “Yakutat Alaska.”

***

“It feels so gross being back her,” Camila mumbled, hugging her arms loosely around herself as Lauren draped her own arm over her shoulder. She still didn’t know how she felt about her relationship with Lauren. The sudden proposal still replayed in her head but she didn’t have time to think about that right now. Her mind wondered as she thought about the safety of her kids and the weariness of Lola being out of prison… again. Her life just seemed to be a never ending pile of destruction and she just wanted to run away… like Lauren said. Her eyebrows furrowed as she turned to look at the woman next to her. She went to open her mouth and question her before shaking her head and deciding to keep it shut until later on.

“Tell me about it,” Lucy mumbled as she locked the doors of the rental car.

Lauren huffed softly, her grip on Camila tightening. “So are you gonna explain why we’re here?”

Lucy nodded distractedly as she smacked her lips and nodded off towards her right as they began walking towards a group of buildings. “Janelle told me that Lola was granted parole in Yakutat because this initially is where the crime took place which I think is complete bullshit because the original crime was when she falsified your murder in Florida. Yakutat is a small town, but so easy to escape. Lola can redo everything she’s ever planned. She can hire or even threaten her way around here and start up her ridiculous revenge plot. We need to end it before it starts.”

The brown eyed woman furrowed her eyebrows in confusion as she released herself from Lauren’s hold and quickened her pace to walk beside Lucy as she began questioning. “End it how?” She asked in bewilderment. “Its Lola. She’ll just kill me for good now. You brought me all the way here just so she could do that, right? You’ve been working with her all along. You know I’m a moth-”

Lucy stopped abruptly, reaching out to grab Camila’s wrist in a forceful hold. The woman went to scream before her eyes landed on Lucy’s soft ones. Lucy slowly released Camila, running a distressed hand through her hair before turning to look at Lauren. “I’ve fucked up in the past. So much. I lost the love of my life, I watched as she hurt over someone who was still here, I watched as she raised two amazing independent girls on her own all while trying to manage her own internal heartbreak,” Lucy paused, staring deeply into Lauren’s pale green eyes. “I’ll do anything to amend my wrongs. I’m never going back to the way I use to be. I don’t want to, and I won’t allow myself to. I’m stronger, I’m better and my head is finally going down the right path,” she sighed shakily before turning back to Camila. “The last thing I want is to see get hurt again. I watched on the sidelines for too many goddamn years. I’m gonna make it right this time. Even if it means putting myself away for life.”

Lauren’s eyes widened in horror at the woman’s last sentence. “Lucy, what are you talking about?”

Hot tears stung the corner of Lucy’s eyes as she chewed on her bottom lip. “I’m gonna kill her. I have to,” with that she continued straight forward towards the group of buildings collectively lined up beside each other.

Camila and Lauren shared a regretful stare before quickly following chasing after Lucy.

“You can’t do that,”

“Come on be rational Lucy,”

“We can just go to the cops again,”

“Yeah, we can do that. You can’t ruin your life like tha-”

Suddenly whirling around, fire burned within Lucy’s brown eyes. “Go to the cops? And tell that what? That my crazy step sister is trying to kill the Camila Cabello? Huh? Do you know what’d happen to me?”

Camila stopped, breathing heavily. “Why do you care so much? Huh? Its my life Lucy. Please. Let me handle it.”

Chuckling bitterly to herself, Lucy shook her head. “It may be your life, but you know nothing about mine,” she stared off into the distance before shaking her head once again. “When Lola sends a group of correction officers to gang rape you every fucking day in jail, not being able to fight back because you’ll just be thrown into solitary, then speak to me. Everything isn’t about you.”

“Lu-”

“I’m gonna kill her, with or without you guys here,” Lucy stared them down before turning on her heel and walking away, both Camila and Lauren’s feet basically being glued to the ground as they watched in silent horror.

Camila turned to look at the mother of her children before whispering softly, “What do we do?”

***

a/n: short ass chapter, just a filler for the shit about to go dddoooowwwnnnnn. omg, i know y'all hate me and that i’ve been gone for over five months and i’m sorry. life just happened and idk what else to say really. i’m back now and hopefully i stick around because i truly have missed writing so fuckin much. like a huge ass relief has washed over me because i absolutely love what i do and writing for people.

now welcome back to my world full of angst and drama (; i promise the camren fluff is coming soon. y'all have waited two books for it and it’s gonna be here in a few short chapters.

now, i have a brrraaannnndddd new book out called “one night stand” and its camren ofc. this book was really a spur of the moment type of thing but i already love what i have in store for it so far and i truly think i’m gonna be committed as fuck with this book. yes, it has smut. a lot of it actually. so please go check it out on my page, add it to your library.

of course, amazing cover creds to SLOTHTATO literally their work is fucking phenomenal. best cover maker on all of wattpad, idc, fight me. like look at this (obviously my tumblr readers can’t see it so go add the book in your library on my wattpad @ wthbello because it’s a sexy ass cover).

anyways, yeah, please go check that out. i’ve worked really hard on it and i really like where it’s going. it has angst, but definitely a lot less angst than this story right here. the angst in this is actually way more relatable to real life problems and stuff like that so once again, please go check it out after this.

don’t forget to vote, comment and answer end of the chapter questions below. if you’re a tumblr reading, come follow me on wattpad @ wthbello and add my new camren story 'one night stand’ to your library and read it and vote and comment and all that amazing stuff. thank you so much for reading and i hope you enjoyed.

i’m a sucker for feedback and it’ll help me navigate where to go in the aspects of what my readers will enjoy (if y'all are still here since i’ve been so goddamn MIA lmao) so please answer at least a couple end of the chapter questions to the best of your abilities. again, if you’re from tumblr, head over to my wattpad so you can do that.

what do you think about this chapter?

what do you think will happen next?

how do you feel about lola being out?

how do you feel about lucy being out?

do you think lucy’s bluffing and she’s really working with lola?

where do you think tori and her mom are?

what do you think is/will happen with lauren and camila’s children?

what do you wanna see moving forth?

what are you least worried about?

what are you most worried about?

last but not least, how do you feel about camila’s new music and 5h’s album, lauren’s single, dinah’s feature, and 5h’s collab with pitbull? y'all knew i had to ask this since i haven’t been here since the day before the girls released their album lol.

anyways, thanks so much for reading. i appreciate so much if you’re still for some reason stick around, you have no possible idea how much it means to me and i’m forever grateful for you

[thoughtsandeverythingelse]

my 10 year series

in light of everyone doing their reflection of the past 10 years, i think joining the bandwagon would help me look back on the past decade - if anything to make me think of things that i can be (extra) grateful for, so here goes; 

2010; primary school happened. tbh i cant remember much, (lol i actl went on a fb hunt but its taking forever to scroll everything, so im just going to write everything by my own memory and whatever it deems important haha)  had my psle, felt disappointed bc i didnt do well enough for my math (got like a C instead of a B that i thought i worked hard for), thankfully there’s a secondary school that allows me to be in express. confessed to this boy i liked in case i regret, but hey at least i had the guts to tell him ok!  2011; start of secondary school, met different people from all kinds of backgrounds - the broken, the privileged, etc. also increase weight gain bc of puberty + lack of self control. started learning a new instrument (the saxophone). start of bullying all over again bc of the weight, but also liked this boy for treating me like a human - turns out i can like someone for a very long time. also crucial time for me of getting to know jw, probably was the first few contacts we had. 

2012; increased weight gain, increased bullying as well. i remember (for the drama), i ran out of class crying and went into the arms of a friend, just because the hurtful things i’ve heard the boys said. also streaming year, but not sure what i was doing half the time, but had to make important decisions (subject choices). weight gain was really bad here. trip to china with the school was great though! probably one of the highlights of school. 

2013; best year of my secondary school life; probably bc i dont remember studying much bc of my sinful ways lol, but also bc i had so much fun in school and barely scrapped through my results. couldnt stand the bullying so started the herbalife diet and lost the weight subsequently, but took a hell lot of time.  started running a lot! i think this is also the year i started serving in camy, but also dont remember what i was doing half the time ahahha. by the grace of God, i think i rly barely passed to even go into secondary 4 lol. also the year i fell into the radio world, and found my love for mass comm. got my piercings here in the midst of the recalcitrant self, hated my math teacher to the guts and didnt know how to treat people right in the midst of the ‘identity confusion lol’ got drunk for the first time with friends drinking at the beach, partying in our minor years hahahha.  2014; O levels year. didnt hang out much with the bad company, and i think this was when i studied the hardest. i actually started catching up and getting serious, (and did well for the first time in my education woohoo!) but in the midst of the pride, my results dropped for O levels but all’s good. applied for dpa but failed, but went applied for JPSAE and really by the grace of God, i got into mass comm (after my results). ran my first few marathons here too! my secondary school friends settled down here - besides the insane brain study cramp, i think sec 4 was something i really appreciated, being able to study and kinda not hating myself, but learning how to trust God too.  2015; good 8 months of working part time! wow this is actually a pretty good year. had blue hair, (woohoo!) then got into the school of my dreams by the hand of God (this one rly wah.) first backpacking trip of my life (which made me love life so much more), struggled through the first year of school too. tbh this makes me think of my poly life - and all i can remember it to be would be just ‘BUSY’ and ‘CHINA’. lol how ironic??? considering this place was a dream for me, but i turned out to leave feeling to bleh about it. (but ok not true, i think it was an experience i am willing to take, looking back). understood the pain of the evil media/coporate world haha. the lack of sleep was real, but i actl started the year quite skinny leh!!! then the subsequent weight gain was very real hahahaha. joined ambassadors, started ‘dating’, the idea of having the social life was very real too 2016; BUSY BUSY BUSY. not sure what i was doing with my life tbh, but ok it was more media stuff, perhaps my brain does not want to revisit the joy bc it is attached with the pain and bitter side of things, but i know i have to let these go too. ‘broke up’! learnt about love and confrontation. WOW OK this is also the year i had my really really short hair!!!! wow i have no idea where i got the guts to do it, but i did it anyway HAHAHA. also the year ah ma passed away, then i ran my own comm (and saw people grow so well :’) ), kinda reaffirmed me of why im doing what im doing, and being able to groom people was such a privilege. also the year i hated running RC bc camp finale, but also the year i discovered my r/s with k and the love i had for him.  2017; the birth of beyond. i cant believe it feels so foreign to me now, but man it wasnt just the boy from beyond, but the joy from the relationships i had because of it. OIC HK was an experience, then it was also Y3 and i cant believe it was a painful year bc of school (like the heck its alr 3 years still want to torture me leh!!!!). my first refugee trip whcih broke my heart, found myself crying over the issues of the world then realising i might not even have an answer for everything. falling in love with beyond, then realising our overseas internship was happening - one of the best things that happened to me for someone that’s 19 (young and free lol) also the loudest thought from jesus came in as i was entering the shower; “how can you love someone else, when you have yet to love me?” 2018; interned, met Jesus then decided to take a gap year. best of ministry bc of the partnership i had, but also the growth for the love for people. ran the next trip for the refugee kids, (even brought our graduation gowns lol) learnt how to cut hair!!! had the mass realisation that the world is VERY big. too big for my little brain to comprehend.  started working with geylang adventures, then as the year transited into 2019, i got the job offer for st andrews autism school.  2019; realisation about the relationship i have with k - literally non-exsistant anymore. this one broke my heart quite a bit. (still trying to cope with it i guess.) went back to china on my own to surprise visit my friends woohoo.  worked for st andrews + geylang adventures/backalleybarbers. tbh now that i look back into my gap year, im not sure what i was doing, but at the same time - it was something that i think my soul needed. not to rush just because the world is, but understanding so much of who God is, decerning the peace and learning so much about life. after many tears, many questions, i got into university. not my first choice, (not even in my life of choices tbh) but....; 

2020; 

it is day 4 of 2020, and i love what im studying. i love the friends that i’ve met in school bc they are easy to love, i love the nature of what im studying bc of the sheer contact of humanity it has. truth be told, none of us are going to become social workers. not at least those in my social circle. but at the same time, we are here studying in our best abilities, understanding who God is, through each other, through the course of study, through the people we meet. i love what im studying, but i got my first F in school, but yet i didn’t even panic (not like in mass comm leh!!!) and i could literally laugh it off. that’s how much i love what im doing. 

and for that, as i’m writing this, i feel the need to scream at the top of the mountains that i’m thankful. the heart of gratitude is so real, the hand of God in my life is so real - you can argue that it is by sheer coincidence. i dont disagree, perhaps. but the peace - this immense peace, this joy, the intensity of this joy, cannot be explained, nor contained. i feel this need to shout across to the people i love and say HELLO THIS IS THE GOD I LOVE!!!! LISTEN TO ME!!!!!! HOW AM I SO SPECIAL!!!!!  so thank you Jesus, for loving me. for the past 10 years. and for the many years to come. with a heart of gratitude, thank you for everything. perhaps this is not enough as a thank you message. perhaps only my life in return can translate my act of gratitude. until then, JESUS YOU ARE SO COOL and i think im starting to fall in love with you again. help me fall in love with you because you are you, and not because the things you have done for me. not because of how everything ‘seems so smooth’, but bc of who you are, your goodness, your grace, your mercy, your character, your nature, every bit of who you are!!!!