#im incapable of making things not goofy. im so sorry.

[skyblueartt]

some sketches of the crazzaayyy loser guy!

[pilotheather]

ok.

the usernames are making my lose it first of all

what the fuck is happening please help me

so this could either be the most cringe one (by my measure) or the best one or completely mid. we'll have to see

althoguh one thing i will say its so fucking funny theres a single episode OF SOCIAL MEDIA in a tv show and the Sheep will be like ZOMGGG!! BLACK MIRRORRRRR. shut up

ruby sunday youre so cuteeeeeeeeeeee

2 long hours of data processing is so real - says the data engineer

hi theres bugs

CHRIST IT LOOKS SO FUCKING BADDD I LOVEEE IT I LVOE YOU UGLY CREATUREEEEEEEE

well i could say this whole thing is heavy hadned but as a chronically online loser whose only form of interaction is through a screen and is incapable of existing in the real world im not allowed to say anything i think unfortunately. best leave the other chronically online assholes to say stuff like that

im sure rtd is being an absolute troll at this point directly pointing it out. come on bro.

OH MY HAZY DAYS <- A VERY GOOD PHRASE

UNMUTE GOTHIC PAULLLLL

oh my goshhh it's ricky september. naur way.

im only half convinced this is the doctor using a Schimmer <- said for no other reason except ive got the 10 saying Schimmerrrrr stuck in my head like an earworm

okay so its not...

why on earth is ricky september like the goat. whys that so funny. itsy bitsy teenie weenie yellow polka dot bikini.

is it seriously alphabetical roder that's so funny

ehrm

NOT THE SENTIENT DOTS HELP ME

OK THATS SORRY THAT BIT IS LAME AS SHIT. LIKE THATS THE LAMEST ONE YOU COULD DO. ok i get it. ok fineee. i mean ok yeah duhhhh of course the beasts were intentional . even if it was jsut something similarly goofy, but at least tying it together- like the social media algorithm was axing them, or this was part of the whole discipline thing she kept mentioning gone wronglikebut i thought it was gonna be something else. the dots just found them annoyinggg COME ON BRO

HELP ME

SHES LIKE FUCK HIMMMM FUCK HIM FFUCK RICKY SEPTEMBERRRRRRR

GIRL

IM ALUGHING I DONT KNOW I DIDNT EXPECT HIS HEAD TO DO THAT and her just giving them both a look- a WODNERFUL MAN YOU LITERALLY J

LINDY YOU'RE INSANE IM LAUGHING SORRY HELP ME CHRIST

there is no way these people are like 17-27 is that a hateful thing to say

HELP ME THISENDING IS BEYODN FUNNY. SORRY THIS IS THE FUNNIEST ENDING. CHRIST. I MEAN YEAH THIS SHIT REAL AS FUCK. BUT OH MY GOD. RUBY JUST HAVING A WEE MENTY B TOO. MY FUCKING GOD. THEYRE ALL GOING TO DIE OUT THERE THATS ... I MEAN FUCKING YEAH. THATS WHAT THOSE TYPES OF PEOPLE WOULD DO

LINDY YOU'RE LIKE THE WORST PERSON IVE EVER SEEN ON MY SCREEN

[tonberry-yoda]

Hi!! I'd like to ask for a romantic jjba matchup if theyre available! I use she/they pronouns and am pansexual. I'm 5'11 and pretty chubby. When comfortable, I'm really energetic and playful and I love talking!! So much! If the right topics are brought up nothing can make me shut up. I'm really loud and don't realize I'm yelling until people point it out. I'm super unaware and oblivious to both my surroundings and others feelings, so total honesty is super appreciated at all times bc I'll be honest! I'm really dumb. Like really dumb. I'm very affectionate, and my love languages are just about all of them except for gift giving (Im HORRIBLE with picking gifts). I get really uncomfortable with physical or verbal affection in public though. I love spending time with other people, but my social skills are kinda trash so I rarely ever initiate conversations. I tend to rough house with my friends and family a lot, and love teasing them too, though sometitmes I can be a bit too mean. My memory is PATHETIC! I forget things all the time. I'm also kinda emotional and can have a pretty bad temper, and will lash out the second I'm disrespected but I forgive so easily. I am physically incapable of holding grudges for longer than a few days. I love overdressing! I personally pride myself on my humor and think I'm super funny! I value laughter heavily and think that finding someone with a similar sense of humor is very important.

My fashion taste is way too expensive for my budget, but I love clowncore and decora the most!

I love music so much! I'm listening to it every day of the year, every hour of the day, so on and so on. I listen to all kinds, hip-hop, classical, country, theres not a genre I dont like, but my favorites are ska, metal, hyperpop, and disco music!

My hobbies include gaming, writing, watching anime, dancing, staring up at the sky like a turkey, doll collecting, plushie collecting, cooking, and napping. I really like clowns, zoology, and amusement parks (I like the spinny rides).

I hope this is good! You don't have to reply! Hope you have a good day, sorry for the poor grammar and excessive exclamation marks! English is my first language but as I said earlier, Im really dumb *<}:•]

notes: Hi love!!! <3 sorry this took so long! i was piled with so many requests, but I'm finally here! I really hope you're well!! Also, you just sound so delightful and in that regard, I have the PERFECT character for you!

the character I chose for you is...

JOSUKE HIGASHIKATA!!!

this is the perfect man to match your energy

he loves that you are always hype and he will be 100% hype with you

he is also just as playful so you have the perfect man for you

he loves talking just as much as you, so you two get to talking for HOURS and definitely lost track of time

you both can get SO LOUD OMFG

but it's cute

other people have to shut you two up

he's dumb too, don't worry

you both will be the dumbest people in the room, and then people will correct you and you'll just look at each other and burst out laughing

dont worry, he'll be the gift giver

expect goofy gifts like funny socks lol

but he loves cuddling

and will respect you in public because that makes you uncomfy

he will definitely leave the loving words and cuddles for home ;)

he's a big talker to others

he is not shy

so he'll help you initiate conversation with people you want

he kinda helps boost your social skills

it's rad

HE LOVES SPENDING TIME WITH YOU, OKAY?!?!?

you two will play fight a lot lmaoooo

like a ton of mini wrestling matches tee hee

he can also get a bit of a temper (about his hair, duh), so he will know how to handle you when you get angry and emotional

you two help each other <3

you both forgive each other pretty easily, so temper is never a big deal since you both know how to deal with it

he laughs at all of your jokes and he will tell you jokes too

HE LOVES YOUR FASHION SENSE DUDE

like seriously omfg

he is someone who loves to dress a little too expensive too, so you both cry over your bank account, but dress like gods at the end of the day

date time for him is just sitting and listening to music outside in the summertime watching the sunset <3

he loves your room so much

like you two spend a lot of time in there and he notices cool new things every time

he will game with you and cuddle and watch anime

he will kick your ass in video games and you will kick his

he will 100% take you on amusement park dates omfg

like most fun time for the two of you

again, he just loves your energy and you cant get enough of each other <3

~~~~~

matchup rules | pinned post @tonberry-yoda

[kasaneteto]

sorry i simply must complain for a moment

ive been complaining about my roommate too much on instagram so im doing it here instead 🖕 fuck you

MOTHERFUCKER CANNOT TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF!!!! tell me why this man is turning 26 NEXT WEEK and can’t remember to pay me back for the bills. won’t do any chores unless he’s asked to or HE has friends coming over. i literally feel like im living with a teenager.

i’ve recently realized just how much ive coddled him and made excuses for him because of his mental health struggles and the way his parents treated him his whole life. ive also realized that its entirely up to him to recognize that his mental health struggles & trauma are HIS problems to deal with and i shouldnt have to temper my expectations because of that. i can only tell him he needs therapy so many times before it’ll just go in one ear and out the other like every other thing i say to him. he is so incapable of any kind of self-reflection or self-awareness, has no concept of how his actions might affect others, can’t make any compromises without throwing a fucking tantrum about it. it’s exhausting. he requires so much attention and validation in order to be happy. being in the same room is like an invitation to talk to him. AND HE SAYS THE SAME SHIT. its like ive exhausted all dialogue options. he always makes the same stupid jokes that are just *goofy or purposefully obnoxious comment about what im doing* and i DONT have the energy to entertain that shit every day. but it RUINS his mood if you dont partake in his humor and then he just sulks. he cannot be serious. everything is jokey goofy fun time. when finn and i told him she’s trans & that we broke up his response was just to stare at us like a deer in headlights and go “oh. okay. sorry thats just a lot to process” which is like. just such a perfect prime example of how he cannot handle anything serious or heavy. when he got cheated on he was inconsolable and would not leave finn and i alone (and we wanted to help!!! we care about him!!!) he literally would follow us to our room and we would have to ask him for alone time!!!! he’s like a baby!!!! he’s so deadset on finding a new partner and i just wanna scream in his face NO RELATIONSHIP YOURE IN WILL EVER WORK IUT UNTIL YOU WORK ON YOURSELF AND UNPACK YOUR TRAUMA!!!!!!

he always uses money as an excuse like “ohhh i cant afford it” motherfucker. you can’t afford anything that isnt something you want. so you cant afford to pay me bills on time but you can afford a new monitor for cyber monday? you can’t afford therapy but you can afford to get a shitty fake christmas tree because THATS what’s important to you? he lives so fucking hedonistically and acts like he lives paycheck to paycheck when he makes 22 DOLLARS AN HOUR. MOTHERFUCKER YOU MAKE MORE THAN ME. YOU CAN FUCKING AFFORD IT YOU JUST DONT BUDGET OR SAVE AT ALL.

ok sorry i had to get that shit out because im so frustrated with him. i had a party the other night and he just sulked around until his friends came, hung out with them and only them the whole time, then continued to sulk and complain once they left. then sat around scrolling on his phone while my friends helped me clean everything up. my friends who actually are responsible and arent just in their own world with no consideration for others.

its not like he’s a bad person or even a bad friend because he truly isn’t. he’s just so emotionally immature and does not have the strength to look inward & realize that he is the source of most of his unhappiness in his life currently. its really hard to live around given the stage of my life im currently in.

i wish i could tell him all of this to be honest but hes so fucking sensitive. i HAVE tried to talk to him about a lot of these issues too (him needing to he asked to do chores, not paying me back etc) and its always the same thing. he gets better for a couple months but it quickly goes back to how it was before. im just like so done acting like his problems are mine. done asking him for favors. i hate that living with him has made me lose so much respect for him (he has no moral backbone) because like. i can see that he wants to be better. he just isnt strong enough to admit that hes the problem in his life right now. anyways. thanks for reading this if you did lol

[m1ckeyb3rry]

LMAO fwtkac platonic version FR

I love the foreshadowing details I remember when I first discovered your writing when I finished reading and put the pieces together of all the hints I fr like omfg wait a damn minute

LMAOOOO Nagi going all out against Luna to the point where lunas like yeah sorry we’re closed for the week I’ve gotta recover from that trauma HAHA clueless romantic Otoya strikes again if otullia ends up being endgame it’d be like bfb otoya kinda LOL

I’m not crying I’m not crying imnotcryi- SHSHSHS Barou haunting the entire like 200k+ (ish…?) words worth of the story I’m not gonna be ready for that

PURSUIT GOES HARDDDD another banger title but YES I saw the notion omg it’s SO CUTE the research and thought into it >>>> omg the wc though LMAOO another Mira classic lowk im kinda excited for even just the wc alone like how long will it really end up being LOL

LMFAOOOOO Otoya is the target audience for scammers fr he’s so gullible shsshshsh KARASUS RESPONSE IF FOULLLL LMAOO

“Who died” “you” AHAHAAH I CANT THATS gonna be so fun to read I can’t wait

No because this is actually a talent imagine instead of matchups like normal you do pokemon team creations instead I bet those would go hard

YEAHH the whole Raltz line feels so regal I can see the Mikages using it but I also love the goofy backstory we had earlier too LMAOO

No because it was bound to happen when igaguri subbed in like anyone on the bench would have to be like “yo wtf” I’m crying someone give yuki a moment of field time please it’s painful watching this (pause does this mean igaguri cover next omfg)

Unfortunately I think we got brainwashed because I cross referenced Barou’s and THEYRE STILL THERE SHSBSJSSB specifically that half sentence (at least it’s punctuated in the version I sent you though) that I still can’t figure out what I meant and also when I try to say that Barou’s mom is methodological it autocorrected to Methodist instead goodbye. Ok I fr didn’t remember those there either but well. I guess now we know!!!!!!! Yeah if you ever want to reference or read that again without making your brain do cartwheels just lmk….

IT WAS SO GOOD I mean any sae who isn’t fully just “soccer and soccer only” is a little ooc I still stand by your version of fanon sae though like to me that’s as in character as you’re gonna get LMAO but even as an itoshi non-fan that still slapped sooo

IM SO EXCITED FOR BAROUS you fr put me on the Barou agenda between Barou ideas that edit pokemon au and the ln….hyped for the next installment of oaeu (or wtv you put out next)!!!!

No because can I have that skill I would’ve lost it fr LMAOO it’s ok this IS aikus justice it’s his fault for being a criminal in the first place

- Karasu anon

I LOVEEE FORESHADOWING i can’t write stories if i don’t have an ending in mind because i am incapable of writing without foreshadowing!! my aim is to make characters constantly say/do things that seem innocent in the moment but looking back you’re like holy shit that was a CLUE!! hollyhock is not exempt from this btw LMAOAOAOA i’ve already spoiled the ending for it in like the first chapter or smth i’m pretty sure

PLSS they don’t call nagi the lazy genius for nothing!! bro doesn’t care 99% of the time but that 1% that he does his opponent’s basically cooked HAHA poor luna fr is just like what the hell i brought out some of my strongest pokémon and this kid didn’t even flinch meanwhile reader’s just like yeah…that’s just how nagi is…she’s used to him going crazy because he usually goes pretty all out in their rivalry battles (when they have them) so she’s more just surprised that he put in that much effort with someone else than anything!! ofc if you asked her why she thinks he was so committed she’d be like uhhh idk maybe he was just feeling himself or smth (cue reo and chigiri face palming in the background because ever since oaeu i can’t stop thinking of them as nagi x reader’s biggest shippers and i imagine this continues in the pokémon au…like imagine them just sitting around the fire or smth and nagi’s like “you know what?? y/n’s kind of cool” and reo and chigiri just side eye each other because how is nagi only just realizing he likes this girl after so long)

i feel like eitullia/otullia (i can’t decide on their ship name…either one doesn’t flow as well as tullisagi i’m afraid that’s so elite as a ship name) would be like a mix of bfb otoya’s version and fwtkac reader/karasu in that they have that sassy teasing dynamic that reader and karasu have in fwtkac but there’s also an element of clueless loserness to it all that’s specifically bfb otoya’s brand!! i honestly am very torn because they would be a vv cute couple but at the same time leaving reader and co as a platonic group kinda fits with the themes of the story…tbh i truly do think tullia’s ship might only be decided once i start writing because atm yukimiya and hiori (two options) only really show up in one arc each and while isagi does have many cameos he’s not as consistent as reader and co + manshine trio are so either i’ll give in and let eitullia be a thing OR i’ll stick with my tullisagi roots and just give them weird tension whenever he IS on screen or i’ll just have hiori/yukimiya make more appearances to build more of a relationship OR i’ll see if she’s vibing with chigiri or reo in the manshine trio + reader and co interactions (if you have any suggestions/if any of those options particularly stick out to you then lmk 😜)

okay because we know fake plastic trees is very barou + reader but just imagine…forever young as barou’s theme SDLKFJHSDLK omg he’s truly just so so integral to the plot even though he literally is never shown ONCE in the present timeline as himself which is truly so insane to think about 😭 bro’s impact cannot be overstated!! AND OMG YAY I’M GLAD YOU THINK SO I LOVE IT AS A TITLE IT JUST MAKES SM SENSE you know i’m about to go crazy designing a graphic for it too…THE NOTION AHHH I’M SO PROUD OF IT i think the screen caps are so funny and i was so glad i could get one of the red gyarados since reader’s is a shiny!! also the breloom (aka yuki’s breloom) on the side character cover is cracking me up it looks so mad LMAO truly it’s yukimiya’s pokémon it’s saying what yuki keeps to himself fr!! and the whimsicott for manshine trio’s page are so cute (although originally i had this image of arcanine there but it wasn’t as aesthetic) ALSO THE PANGOROS ON TEAM X HAD ME CACKLING DSLKFJHSD like i looked up pangoro screencaps because barou has a pangoro and i didn’t want the team x cover to be houndoom because houndoom is the icon for the entire page and i just found that one of the three of them looking like thugs and it was so so funny and so fitting that i had to use it 😩

^ that’s the image i was going to use for manshine trio’s page originally!! it’s kind of giving (from left to right) chigiri, nagi, reo, and then nagi’s arcanine in the back LMAOAOOA anyways i like the whimsicott picture much more but this one is also so funny and so manshine trio coded 🤩

okay…so…on the subject of word count…i want you to sit down for this one LMAOAO so i finished planning out every arc i want to write and there’s. uh. there’s twenty four. TWENTY FOUR (24) 😱 literally even if each arc is only two 5k word chapters that’s still 240k words and i would be very surprised if every single arc is only roughly 10k words (for sure some of them will be but like the aegislash arc alone is going to be longer, the first arc that’s assembling reader and co will be longer, and many others as well) so this is going to be a genuine behemoth no matter what…i’m actually shuddering if the PROJECTED word count is 240k words then what will the ACTUAL word count be 😰⁉️

wait also i planned out the epilogue hehe let me add in some screenshots because i think you will enjoy!! or at least i hope so…anyways…

IT’S NOT OTOYA IF HE’S NOT FALLING FOR ONE SCAM OR ANOTHER!!! pls karasu’s like “i can’t believe you thought you’d pull my sister with that mediocre mindset” HAHA he’s otoya’s biggest hater (lies they’re besties for the restless they just can’t help bullying one another because that’s their form of affection…no because at this point karasu requires reparations the amount of times that reader has been presumed dead LMAOOO i think the total count is AT LEAST three (when she and gyarados destroy the team x ship, when she and nagi are kidnapped by aegislash, and in the aftermath of her battle against barou) like this is why karasu has grey hairs at his youthful age HAHAHA

CAN YOU IMAGINE “tell me about yourself and i’ll design a pokémon team for you based on your vibes” that would be crazy (lowkey fun if pokémon had an active fandom…i feel like everyone loves pokémon but there’s not a ton of fan content for it anymore…its peak was def early 2010s some of the pokémon fics on fanfiction.net remain PEAK literature)

i think it could be like a mix of both…maybe reo makes the decision to evolve his kirlia into a gallade for serious and emotional reasons but he just can’t bring himself to do it and then the brawl event happens and he’s like HOLY SHIT I HAVE GOTTTTT TO ENTER and that’s the final push that gets him to start a genuine hunt for a dawn stone that he can use LMAOOO unfortunately he’s typically the voice of reason amongst the manshine trio so neither nagi nor chigiri say anything to deter him from his dumbassery they’re just like yeah okay whatever you want bud

NO YOU’RE SO RIGHT GET YUKIMIYA BACK IN ACTION I MISS HIM!! i finally got around to consolidating our thoughts on rough and tumble yuki/rival kunigami into one post and rereading it is just making me wish yuki had more action in the actual manga too…like i know bllk manga is far from over and there’s a real chance he’ll get to shine later on (and kunigami almost assuredly will) it’s just like. idk. interesting handling of characters going on atm ig!!

PLSSS okay maybe i’ve just been so scarred from reading the orv translation online that literally anything better than that is perfectly legible and readable to me 😭 if i’m ever too confused about something looking back i will definitely let you know!! but like i said i’m so used to really REALLY bad translations (manhwa community is a MESS don’t get me started characters will literally change names mid-chapter) that i’m chilling with whatever you provide!! so don’t stress out too much abt it hehe

OKAY YAY I’M GLAD YOU THINK SO i think part of it is that sae is just never written as a bitchless rizzless awkward loser who’s trying his best to be charming but has 0 idea how to?? so he can come across as weird or ooc but it’s really just that i’m going against how he’s typically accepted…tbh i agree i don’t think he was terribly ooc either (ofc to a certain extent yeah but if it was EGREGIOUS i wouldn’t have posted) honestly the only thing that i believed could be considered ooc is how quickly he ended up liking reader/how forward he was but those can be put down to a) the vibes of the story and b) aiku’s intervention (as is the theme of the series) so honestly it’s whatever but ig people will think what they think…maybe our psychic connection is the reason why you could enjoy it regardless SDLFJKSFLDJK anyways i’m excited for the barou version as well!! and ngl i have no idea what i’ll put out next because i do have requests that i should be doing…but also oaeu…but also pokémon au…decisions decisions HAHAHAH

[the1975attheirverybest]

the point about throwaway terms is very fucking valid like i am fucking sick of seeing stuff about intrusive thoughts when it is just impulsive like intrusive thoughts are like "what if i poured boiling water on my cat" (not a literal example but that kind of thing) and they fucking suck and you feel horrific not just being silly and goofy

but i think the thing about gen z not being able to define itself it interesting as well because with social media there is no one thing you sit down as a generation and watch or take part in. there isnt really a top of the pops or a similar culturally defining piece of media other than say tiktok. but its also very easy to look at tiktok and see it as the face of gen z when i find most of the time it represents a small demographic of rich americans as opposed to the majority of gen z. like as a British person social media is very clearly dominated by americans

i also think there is something to be said about criticising gen z for being critical of older generations but consuming the media when we as a generation have been constantly harped on for being shit, have dealt with social media and being conscious of every political happening all at once from the age of 12, the housing crisis, brexit, the shortcomings of the education system, covid, and i could probably go on but all before even leaving school? and yet we are the generation that gets the piss taken out of us? like yes we fucking suck but also like come on. im not trying to say look at us we have it so hard because we didnt deal with world war two or the cold war or the 2008 financial crisis or 9/11 but we were also like 14 and witness to war nearly being started because of twitter and laying in bed at 15 watching black people being violently murdered and 16 trying to sleep after being told on the internet that if we dont post about everything happening ever you are a bad person, but our problem is not being able to define ourselves culturally? or trying to find an alternative to the present by looking back to the past that has been glorified by previous generations? like i dont think i can explain how mentally damaging waking up to find out that a bill allowing oil drilling in the arctic which will destroy the earth has been passed but still having to get up, go to school and pretend that fucking a levels matter before having any sort of life achievements is

sorry if this comes off as preachy but im just a little tired of older generations being seeming incapable of empathy sometimes - 🐸

No, you’re right! I mean, it’s very easy for us older folks who have done most of our growing up already to look back and say “they should be doing X or y” when….if that were true then we wouldn’t have “failed” before y’all even came along, haha. I think when we criticize gen z, there are two types of criticism:

1) where it’s just old people being afraid of change. Like, espcially socio-politically. It’s clear that the systems we have no HAVE FAILED CATASTROPHICALLY otherwise there wouldn’t be a recession, so much fascism etc. and it’s time for something radically different and older people don’t get the urgency of that as much as younger people do. Which is a cheap kind of criticism. Like, if you won’t support the kids then get the fuck out of their way. Cuz they’re gonna change the future with or without you. You’re just making it slower/harder for them.

2) criticism that recognizes some gen z movements as overcompensation or over correction of something that we ourselves have tried to fix before. It’s no huge secret that every generation develops its beliefs, aesthetic preferences, political ideals, etc in response to what came before it. Not just gen z. We millennials did it, too. And so did gen X and boomers…I think all the way back to at least the Reagan administration, here in the US anyways, things have been…on the downhill HAHA. and each generation tries to do something about. Then the next one comes along and is like “alright they tried X and failed, what if we try Y?” And sometimes we recognize the younger generations mistakes cuz we have made them, too and we just wanna be like “bro, no, no. Trust me. That’s not gonna work. You’ll see it when you’re older and you’re looking back at the generation after you too.” Those criticisms, I think, are fair. And might even help future kids if they listen.

But, at least for me, and I won’t speak for my entire generation or for those before me, my criticism doesn’t mean I don’t empathize. One of my fav Notes tracks is “People” purely because of the “stop fucking with the kids.” Young people have always been the face of change. They are usually the demographic that votes one party in and the other out. Conservatives always win only when they oppress the youth and appeal to the fear of old people. They’re on the edge of fashion, art, pop culture. So, I know better than to be dismissive of young people! Never! It’s just, sometimes I see the mistakes happening and I’m like “ohhh noooo stop before it’s too late” haha.

[moose-muffin]

I know only Jessie and James are in the list for TR, but what about Butch? And Cassidy, if you feel obligated. 😂 You don't have to answer if you don't want to; I know Butch and Cassidy don't appear often enough. 😅

P.S. Lee!James, and Rocketshipping in the tickles scenario in general are a precious thing. 🥰🥰🥰

I like this stuff too, but am closeted lately. 😂 Though Lee!Butch is a favorite concept of mine. 🥰

AWWW HI!! I AM SO SORRY FOR THE SUPER DUPER LONG WAIT ON THIS ONE BUT LETS GET INTO IT!!!!! IM TOTALLY WILLING TO DO BUTCH AND CASSIDY FOR YOU AND I TRULY APPRECIATE YOUR PATIENCE!! TO RESPOND TO YOUR PS, YES THEY ARE TRULY JUST TEH MOST ADORABLE AND WHOLESOME MOMENTS

Butch: HEHEHE WHAT A GUY!!! im gonna go with 30% ler and 70% lee bc as much as he seems super macho and strong he would def be ticklish, I know it!

Lee:

- it’s definitely not as often that cassidy or butch get in tickle fights as they are much more career oriented than our other sillies, but when and if they do Butch is usually the lee

-he is certainly ticklish, maybe not too much but I’d say like his ribs and his knees would be pretty bad

-super raspy voice means a raspy laugh too and it’s just so fun to listen to

Ler:

-he’s a very awkward ler because he hasn’t experienced tickling too often. But he makes it work and he does learn from Cassidy which is a nice plus!

- he tends to do it as retaliation rather than just for fun, but sometimes if he’s feeling goofy he might go for it!

Cassidy: a complete flop 70% ler and 30 % lee!

Lee:

- I’d say her lee moments come from back in her days of being friends with Jessie. Though I’m sure Cass dished out a lot of tickles too but we’ll get there next

-she’s definitely ticklish in very unconventional places so she gets away with pretending to not be ticklish. I’d say like her arms or her legs are super sensitive to gentle tickles and probably her sides too

Ler:

- here’s where she gets to shine ✨

- a tickler queen! she is so strong and knows exactly where to tickle to get people to go down, it’s impressive tbh!

- teasy, absolutely the worst! She will just talk about how incapable you are of getting her to stop and talk about how sweet it is that you can’t escape, so so belittling (but let’s be honest the lee probably loves it so very much)

- her and butch rarely go at it but when they do it’s usually Cassidy on top

THATS ALL IVE GOT, IM SORRY ITS TAKEN ME F O R E V E R TO GET THESE OUT BUT I HOLE THEYRE WORTH IT EVEN A LITTLE BIT!! THANK YOU SMUHC AND ILY, YOU ARE AMAZINF

[cruelsister-moved2]

People on here are just completely incapable of understanding nuance like yes butch queen + fem/me queen are terms used in ball culture yes there is a long history of gay men casually describing themselves as butch or femme but people see this and think its exactly the same as dyke butch/femme culture when those are highly different contexts so now we get people angry at lesbians for not wanting to fuck gay men or writing men dni on their posts abt having sex with butches bc its "excluding" butch men or whatever and equating critique of this collapse of context and nuance as being exactly the same as people (not exclusively lesbians) being goofy and ahistorical like no YOU people are being goofy and ahistorical

no literally exactly it's really embarrassing and to me its disrespectful to history bc u literally see ppl just combing thru random lgbt relics to find an example where a gay guy calls himself femme so they can be like see!!! i can join in!!! and like im interested in all of our history not just stuff that only relates to lesbians so i actually read it properly and its so blatantly not talking abt butch/femme culture that its just... to me so obnoxious to like ignore ppls ACTUAL histories in favour of trying to superimpose ur online understanding of like the 21st century evolution of a 70+ year old dynamic that is based around gay women trying to court each other like... its genuinely just goofy and silly and u look illiterate 😭😭😭

also can't believe they don't HEAR themselves like yeah sorry gay women are under so much pressure from misogyny and patriarchy and heterosexuality and constantly demanded to be available and appealing to men it's literally not wrong that we want our own space for our desire to be like safe and insulated that isnt the same thing as judging or devaluing others or w/e its not saying we r better than u or something.

i saw some guy complaining about "lezseps" gatekeeping him from b/f and it's like... u realise ur just a man whining that lesbians don't want to include u in a subculture which is about us dating each other like..... it literally just doesnt make sense for u to be here and it defeats the object of the space entirely. irl gay men are exactly the same like its very normal for a group that has sex n relationships w each other to have like specific spaces and culture around that that just. don't make sense to involve anyone else in like its not Gatekeeping, like im not using grindr or calling myself a twink because it would be pointless outside of being a man trying to sleep with men. even without adding the gendered dynamics of being a man thats like stop excluding ME from ur desire for women or whatever its still just sillyyyy

its just very online behavior bc they have no connection at all to the equivalent sorts of communities for other groups and so they latch onto a misunderstanding of what b/f is without getting that the entire fuel in the motor is like.. desire between women sheieuf like omg its really dumb the more I talk abt it the more im just like this is so dumb why is anyone trying to argue this 😭😭😭 leave women alone frrrrrr

[cruelsister-moved]

DON'T RB🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️🏃‍♀️like i hate the gender trinary thing too but honestly I feel like a lot of the time it arises from misguided attempts to talk about misogyny like all that men and non men stuff which drives me up the wall its like I dont think ppl r just dividing into two in groups just for fun they r trying to inclusively discuss misogyny as something which has victims and perpetrators

and i literally haven't seen any meaningful alternatives proposed for how to talk about misogyny as a structural issue like i feel like misogyny isn't a cool issue on here n people only like to view oppression very individualistically bc of the way we've moralised it so there's this weird movement to imply that basically every person whos marginalised in relation to gender/sexuality experiences misogyny which then makes it a useless framework compared to homo/transphobia

and why r we incapable of getting our heads around the fact tht marginalised men are still capable of misogyny? like... cis gay men also face really serious oppression and some of it even plays out very similarly to misogyny.. however they ARE perpetrators in this specific framework and bc of their lack of structural power its normally the women of their in-group (ie bi, lesbian, and trans women) who bear the brunt of it -_- and gbt men of all stripes have a tendency to assume they aren't perpetrators of one kind of oppression bc they face another and um. that is just not how it works why do we have to learn this anew for every type of marginalised man...

so that said when people say goofy shit like "non men" what they're trying to say is this is a space for people who are victims of misogyny who would benefit from a space/event etc where the perpetrators of that oppression arent present, even those who aren't comfortable being referred to as women.

i dont like the implication that everyone who isnt a binary man is immune to misogyny nor do I like the idea of drawing a line in the sand about exactly who can and can't claim to face misogyny cos those lines always exclude someone but like I've yet to see anyone even attempt to respond to this predicament

alsoi think in an ideal world everyone would just be pragmatic about their own experiences and honestly recognise what part they play in that framework but since we got like binary transmascs convinced they are the primary targets of misogyny on here I think we gotta get real abt encouraging people to interrogate that and also people need to learn about the structural mechanisms of and REASONS FOR misogyny bc honestly some of you guys are like "misogyny when someone is mean to you because they THINK you have a vagina" & thats like. not as far from radfem ideology as u think it is !

sorry for the long ramble thank u to anyone who read thru it and i would really appreciate anyone who has any thoughts abt this esp nb baes v_v im asking questions rather than answering them here & like i firmly agree that the determination to neatly divide everyone into 2 categories but i dont think we can just opt out of even attempting to address intracommunity misogyny this way

if you rb you will die in 10 days 😐😐😐😐😐😐

[kurjakani]

Johnny Silverhand, Jackie, Takemura and Viktor for the blorbo bingo? (Sorry there's so many I just like when you talk about cyberpunk lol)

JOHNNY SILVERHAND

This man makes me HNNNGHGHGJG>:'( But also HSKKJHSJJD 🥴🥴 like mad. His saviour complex. His ego that he almost seems incapable of genuinely adressing. His pants. I would marry him but not expect him to be good to me but id still cry when hes not good to me. Good run. Also if he existed he wouldnt even look at me and thats prolly for the best.

JACKIE WELLES

I LITTERALLY. IK LIKE. IF THERE WAS A CHARACTER TO REPLACE HIM... i would also be broken hearted abt that character... but god i wish wed gotten more of his antics.... his interactions w nomads in particular, i feel, wouldv been interesting, via the connecting thru the importance of family to both.... jackie & takemura hanging out OUGHHH it wouldv been so neat.... god i would. Kiss him in an instant. Hes soooo sweet. I wish wed gotten more of his struggles too. Maybe the standard of fearing of becoming like his dad, maybe smth more complex. Idk... whichever way. I just wish we had more of him.

Fun fact: i saw him the first time in death stranding and was SO confused abt WHO is this hunk and IS he single.

GORO TAKEMURA

I likw FLEW past the missions for him and was SO ready to cry when he stopped appearing as much... god. Hes defi one of my absolute faves. Hes so WEIRD. Quirky. All hidden behind a serious veneer. Im obsessed w it. Particularly the arasaka ending drives me nuts. I absolutely love the nomad ideas for him, I think its the ending for him that wouldv been way more satisfying...???

VICTOR VECTOR

VICTOOOOR JFC I WANNA [REDACTED] [REDACTED] [REDACTED] GOD THE THINGS ID DO TO THIS MAN (mostly gently reach for his hand and wait for him to reach back so i dare lean into his shoulder) yes yes yes i lovw that hes the only person in night city who soMEWHAT seems... healthy??? I mean, not completely, his struggles to communicate and it seems like he does have a slight fear of attachment but like... for night city hes doing SO well... i fell in love the second i heard his voice & saw his pickaxe skin and the way his chin scrunches up 🥴🥴🥴

Honestly, after Dum Dum, hes my fave... idk wjat it iw but he just makes me. My brain. Melt. Ngl i think its also that my partner has kinda the same vibe, like calm, dark haired, caring, goofy dad vibes so ive gotten even more attached to him but 😭😭😭

Blorbo bingo!!!

[wannawrite]

You Are // jiaer + yien

A sis is yeOLLING she cant find her english homework and school is being crap on the first 2 weeks I just started sec 1 and there's homework from like 4 different subjects school let me live thank you im SO SO tired ugh anyway i hope your day was amazing,,, please get enough rest and drink ur fluids, all of you - Admin N ♡♡

_________

I climb onto the ride with him with the biggest teasing grin on my face, a twinkle in my eye playing at his little phobia as I say confidently, "You're gonna enjoy this, Yi En ge ge."

Yi En's eyes, gaze even softer than usual when he's timid, look at me with fear as his big, round pupils start to shrink. Unsure of the future in front of him, his mind starts to shrink along like two walls closing in on him, snatching the breath from his lungs. His Adam's apple dips continuously as I feel his sweat glazed fingers wrap themselves around mine into a little cocoon.

"J-Jia Er, I'm scared." he blurts, small figure trembling vigorously like a little butterfly caught in the rain, wings bent and covering his frame. I kiss him on the cheek gently before I flick a finger up, gesturing to my foster brother.

"Yi En, look at the sky." I say. His eyes follow suit, and trail up.

"What do you see?"

"It's...it's blue. And it's blurry." Yi En gulps, swallowing the balls of air particles expanding wider and wider in his throat each time. In an attempt to calm him down briefly, I put a hand around his neck and stroke it gently with my thumb, replying, "You didn't say it was cloudy, did you?"

Yi En looks at me perplexedly, and with the tears shimmering and spiraling themselves around his soft, pretty eyes, he thaws a crack in my heart just by muttering, "There are no clouds."

"That's why," I sniff, placing my thumb to his eyes and freeing the long held back tears out of that beautifully sculpted, mocha brown cage of theirs, "You remove the clouds from your eyes. The sky isn't crying today, so you won't be crying today too, Mark Yi En Tuan. Look at the sky again, and please, try and see a clear one. I'm here for you if you need me, okay? Don't think I'm so bloody incapable because I'm just one year younger. We're in this together." I finish with a little more dignity.

He smiles his soft, dimply smile, the one where the roof of his lips doesnt move as much as other smiles so it looks absolutely adorable, before saying, "Thank you, you smooth little boy. I'll see a lot of clear skies today."

Now I too, have a battle to win against my tears.

"I stole that from Namjoon. He's great at uttering poetic crap like this," I cough modestly as Yi En clambers into the seat next to me. He pulls the harness shaped safety bars over his head, which protects his small waist well. I swear I see a look of panic flash past his face in my peripheral vision as I pull over my own safety bars, and my pulse rate can't help but rise a little. My turn for the gaze in my eyes to bear uncertainty and fear, I ask, "Yi En, are you alright?"

With the small, not so obvious smile that looks even more attractive than his normal, goofy wide ones, he replies, "Yeah, because of you." That smile is coy, and small-not broadcasted to the entire world and spreading around its warmth, but rather, seemingly reserved for my eyes and my eyes only. The sunlight outlines his features and his tiny, tousled black curls, and I can't help but return the smile. My foster brother looks so attractive, he'd definitely pick up a girlfriend in no time when he grew up and puberty hit him like a truck-

"HAHAHAHAHAA, ah, Jia Er, you're so funny." Yi En says, a cheeky look playing on his soft, demure features, not seeming so soft and demure anymore after making fun of my thoughts that had slipped out quickly by that careless, troublemaker 乌鸦 mouth of mine.

"Shut up!" I retort, tints of red splashing onto my cheeks like watercolour roses as a sheepish grin spreads across my face. I bicker for a while with Yi En before we hear a sound, familiar to the construction works that were frequently held at that quaint, boxed in home of ours.

The gears carry us up, and the metallic 'clink clink' sound of the gears smashing against each other ruthlessly pounds and resounds in both our ears. Like the gears, Yi En's teeth smashes together with a 'clak' before they start to chatter, fear swallowing him up as his eyes start to widen in horror.

"Jia-Jia Er, you'll be with me, right?" He sends a weak, quivering smile my way that shakes and crumbles under the harsh brick of fear. A single tear rolling over my rosy, baggy eyelids and onto the metal floor of the car, I reply with the release a shaky breath, "Mark. I'll always be with you. You're my Yi En ge ge, how could I not be here with you? I'd rather die, thank you very much."

"You keep quiet. Don't curse yourself like this."

And just as we say it, the incessant clicking of the gears gradually slow down, before coming to a halt.

The car dips, and the wind whips against our hair and messing it into a little bird nest (for ahgases? wink wonk) as my adrenaline rises at the feeling of gravity seeping away and leaving mine and Yi En's poor heart to beat continuously. We slide down at the speed of lighting, diverse shades of green blurs whizzing past us below. Tingles of pleasure fill my insides, and every cell in me thoroughly basks in the thrill. My eyes aren't closed, not even for one second, and a big goofy grin plasters itself to my face.

"Yi En, isn't this fu-" I say with a grin, turning towards the empty, bright red seat, and in less than a half second, the grin falls off my face, replaced with the pure look of horror that writes itself over my features.

Five long, attractive fingers are rested on the little raised bit of the car entrance, and shock jabs itself quickly at my heart, my heart even becoming shock itself.

"YI EN! YI EN GE GE!" I scream, tears spilling out of my eyes like an unbroken dam. Before I can holler anything else, he quivers, "Jia-Jia Er, don't save me. It's dangerous. The-the safety belt fell off during the drop. I'm sorry. Promise me you'll take care. I love you. You'll always be my hao di di. You're an amazing boy-and you're my number one, all I have left."

"I DON'T CARE! MARK YI EN TUAN, YOU'RE GOING TO TRY AND GET UP. YOU'RE ALL I HAVE LEFT. SOMEONE STOP THIS THING!" I screech, the world starting to be even more blurry than before, due to the panic posessing my mind, but I shake it off-I want to save Yi En. I don't even take notice of the eyes fixated on me and the other screams piercing the atmosphere as I pull off my safety belt to save the hand right in front of me.

Oh.

It's gone.

In front of my very eyes, I see the hand gradually slip off the red surface, and disappear into nothingness.

"YI EN! YI EN, WHY?" I cry, screaming and spitting out a torrent of colourful language at the heavens, for not letting my angel of a brother to live on. Pounding my feet against the metal floor which lets out silvery yelps of pain, I add on once I catch a small puff of breath, "YOU SAID THAT YOU'D BE WITH ME. YOU SAID THAT YOU'D ALWAYS BE THERE FOR ME. YOU'RE NOT GOING TO BREAK YOUR PROMISE LIKE THIS, COME BACK!" I recall how his voice would sing me to sleep, how he said that I'd always have his number if I needed him when I left for my outing that day, and the beats of my heart scream louder than ever, pounding against my chest and my head, both of which possess terrible stings.

He's gone.

Yi En's gone.

The only family I had.

I never cared about the kids who taunted, picked at the me who was parentless. I knew all that I required was the angel sent from heaven to protect me, chase away my nightmares, and most importantly, sent to teach me the ways of love and pain.

And this lesson, was definitely a stab in the heart.

The pain rings in my ear as darkness swallows me up-not that I'd mind, I wouldn't ever imagine a world without Yi En. My world spins around me like a hurricane of rollercoaster-greenery paintings before all my eyes envision is a pitch black, colour finally rid from my world.

I'm lying down.

Am I...

alive?

Or would I even have been alive in a world with colour, however still in a world without Yi En?

"Jackson-hyung..."

______________

[tumblunni]

Wait so is their name Uz or what...? I know before we (FINALLY) got an english dub of this game like a decade late and it became my FAVOURITE THING EVER, everyone used to say Yuzu for some reason. But then in the game it seemed to always say Uzu, but then the steam trading card emoticon says Uz..? And like.. there was pretty much no info on this installment of the series before the dub came out, and there’s STILL only a tiny fandom and even (annoyingly) some of the walkthroughs are wrong for certain endings. So i can’t even find out what the kanji were for Uzu originally, to have any idea on pronounciation... Man SO MANY names in this game are different between different menus, its really confusing! But I thought at least the main sidekick character was somewhat consistant!

anyway i need to know this because Uzu (redhead one on the left) needs to go on my Make A Fusion of All Of Your Favourite Characters meme even tho they have like the smallest fuckin role ever in a really badly translated game but just AAAAAA great design and sweet and cute personality and interesting dynamic of the protagonist kid being a former fairy who wished to be human, and Uzu being like her secret imaginary friend who looks after her~! its nice cos the previous assistant characters were all just serious and competant butlers, but Uzu is more like a second kid character that’s just not capable of growing up. It can get a bit sad sometimes but EXTREMELY sweet how Uzu is all ‘I don’t actually understand this humanity lesson I’m explaining, and I’ll never be capable of it, but i’m so proud of you for everything you’re doing’. Srsly its like ‘don’t go where I can’t follow’ but ‘please do, i want what’s best for you, and all us fairy siblings you barely remember are all cheering you on to achieve something we’ll never have, even if it means you’ll forget us’. Like srsly Uzu is such a sweet goofy dork who’s all ‘fairies have no imagination lol, I don’t get art’ and ‘fairies never have any bigger dream than just what they want to eat tomorrow. I want stew.’ ‘OH U~’ But like also its clear that they’re not incapable of emotion AT ALL, they absolutely fuckin adore their strange little sister that’s now a big sister and some day will be that thing called an adult and the two of them will drift apart forevermore..

And like just SERIOUSLY what little we see of Uzu is just that they care SO MUCH! Even as they struggle understanding the appeal of humanity and why protag wants to be one of those things, Uzu is still like MAXIMUM SUPPORT TIME. Just gets comedy moments from trying to support a thing they don’t know very much about, lol! Srsly its interesting and nice how much you get to know about the two of them via such few scenes, how Uzu starts off being all ‘oooh, yay, you spotted That Thing I Heard Humans Do, let me explain...’ and then it becomes completely apparant that the lazy lil sprite doesnt actually have anything beyond those two scenes of surface knowledge XD So end up teaching your big lil sibling all about the wonders of humanity! And even if Uzu is very much your opposite and very much happy-go-lucky and super confident in their identity as a fairy, they’re just so.. so... “I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS IMPORTANT BUT THIS IS IMPORTANT TO YOU, AAAAA” *aggressive cheerleading* seriously the only time Uzu gets sad is in the endings where protagonist gives up and returns to being a fairy, even though being a fairy is Uzu’s favourite thing in the world. Its so heartwrenching to see this little pink sweetheart being all like ‘was it my fault that it all went wrong? because I didnt take it seriously enough? she was so excited about it...’ And then those bad endings also say that protagonist will eventually forget this short time as a human girl, but she can’t return to being a happy peaceful fairy like Uzu. She’ll just remember that she regrests something, even if her immortal lifespan means she’ll lose track of what it was. And OH MAN I really wonder about what her and Uzu were like before the start of the game, then?? Cos she was said to be a not very happy fairy, she was just the only one who couldnt enjoy dancing around the flowers and wished of a human’s happy ending. I wonder if Uzu was already her friend then, and followed her to the human world to look after her, even though she’s forgotten them? i mean all we know about it is that their sibling dynamic is ‘technically true, all fairies are siblings since we were made by the fairy queen’. But like, whether Uzu already knew them or was just hired for this job by the queen or maybe even just snuck along like a lil trickster cos ‘huh? a fairy who wished to be human? That sounds fun!’. Whatever their backstory is, they’re a very damn good immaurture big sibling of strange, and I love this tiny family forever. Also apparantly baby fairies hatch from lucky drops of morning dew upon the flowers each spring, which is ADORABLE! i wonder if that affects their appearance? I’d assume protagonist was a lilac or a pansy, maybe Uzu was a snapdragon or a poppy? ;3

aaa sorry im rambling its just that I REALLY LOVE THIS CHARACTER CONCEPT and i mean the game already does have more dialogue with the daughter compared to other games and explains more about how the fairies work compared to your demon butler in the last game BUT LIKE I STILL WANT MORE!!!!! i love uzu and i love protagonist but protagonist’s personality is kinda blank slate and depends on your choices. but i still love her cos that starting concept of ‘sad lonely fairy who wishes to be a human princess, gets adopted by sweet disabled former knight man as a dad’ is just like THE FUCKIN BEST PLOT and aaaa I really actually cared about her and wanted her to succeed cos there was a REASON for wanting to reach the princess ending! not just arbitrarily wanting the best score, i want to give my sweet monster child her perfect fairytale dreeeeeaaaam~

but just AAA i really love Uzu and AAA god their design is so cool too, its just a nice colourscheme with the plain black and white casual robe thing and the very bright pink hair and then the tiny mischief ponytail and the surprisingly complicated rainbow sigil wing effects~ and lol ALSO i do kinda have to love a nonbinary character, yeah tho in this case its more of the ‘ambiguous headcanon’ type, cos uzu just doesn’t get any pronouns in english, and gendered pronouns dont really exist in japanese. and the game fandom is so small that there’s no sources on whether the japanese version ever mentioned a gender in supplimenary material. Also, I mean, the dub messes up a lot of really basic stuff like gender pronouns and even name spellings within the same sentence, lol! so its not really a reliable source. But whatever, it might be reckless to assume, but I’m gonna stick with this headcanon until we get proven otherwise, I guess. And srsly Uzu’s fab style is a look I wish I could pull off with my own androgeny in real life! (and yknow probably accidentally but they’re close to trans flag colours lol)

oh and from googling all i can find out is that uzu in japanese means spiral and yuzu means pomelo melon so.. huh. That Did Not Help.

also I found that tehre were a bunch of spinoff minigame compilations for the early playstation installments in the series! its really cute to see the characters from all the different ‘generations’ getting to meet each other~ In this one that seems to be the only one with any english info (Princess Maker: Go Go Princess), its like a monopoly board game except the pieces are an all-star cast of princesses and all the events are references to events from the individual games. SO COOL!!!

and look how much sprite detail they put into a silly spinoff! O_O it sucks that these spritesheets display this way though, so i have no idea how all the parts would line up and what the animations would look like but FUCK its still really cute to see cube and uzu having a good ol hug! also is it just me or do Uzu’s face sprites look a little older? I mean sure its probably just cos this was near the end of the ps1 era and the art style had gotten more detailed, but maybe I’d like to headcanon that Uzu ended up maturing from this whole experience and like.. maybe fairies age up as they emotionally mature? (cos i mean how did the fairy queen get to be the only adult one, lol!) Or perhaps Uzu could wish to be human too in the end, and become your real sibling! it’d be so confusing to explain that your new ten year old sibling is actually 500 years older than you XD also poor faceless dad character wouldn’t be lonely now his protagochild has gone off to be the best at 63 potential careers, yknow? or haha, maybe just imagine a reverse au where you raise all the butlers and the princesses are the butlers? or the princesses are the dads and the dads are the kids? OR EVERYONE IS LUCIFON man i just rrly luv princess makerrrrr

[neptune-jaune]

💖🕊💘💓💕🍦

lovecore asks!

sorry i royally!! fucked up!! tumblr is glitching a lot on my phone

💖 have you ever been in love? are you in love rn?

as a wlw, i’ve been guilty of comphet behaviour and it’s probably gonna haunt me forever BUT i am currently in love with a wonderful girl somewhere between the planes of platonic and romantic (it really fluctuates a lot and im not sure is it supposed to go that way?? hmu with advice)

🕊 what do you think about marriage? how would you like to be proposed to?

im really neutral abt the whole thing. yes, it can be cute af, yes, i love being invited to eat the whole cake, yes, dolores o'riordan’s wedding photos are fucking legendary, but im not supportive of the opinion that marriage is the only valid way to officiate a relationship as something that really matters.

💘 you would fall in love with someone who…

seduces me with cheese knowledge obv

💓 what do people do that makes your heart skip a beat? what makes your heart melt?

when people smile!! and do goofy things together and laugh like seals bc the laughs are sincere!!! im an empath so seeing other people spark literal joy is an amazing experience

💕 vague about your crush or partner?

i have a feeling she smells like marjoram but im a hopeless romantic who might never find out

🍦 what are ten things you love about youself?

i actually did a wellness challenge with this as one of the prompts (the person who organised it is called zombijana; amazing mne artist, give her a follow) so im gonna copy-paste haha

my brown eyes and the fact i don’t need mascara

my hungarian surname and willpower to learn the language one day

being an antifascist, but honestly we all are supposed to love and be that

writing, no matter what i write and how much it sucks/ed in the beginning bc im constantly improving

how much i care about people who inspire the heck outta me

having a decent rhythm sense and an eclectic music taste

understanding math even though i always mess up the calculation part

i see a nice memory or a new opportunity in each small, ordinary object

how different i am socially compared to my self from 3 years in the past

holding truth and morality as the highest principles of my life by being incapable of lying

lovecore asks!

[spiritual-doctor4u]

FLOW CHARTING DEPRESSION - for mental health

  FLOW CHARTING DEPRESSION - STEP BY STEP

         DIS-MEMBER / DIS-AT-EASE                                          ENVIRONMENT

         /                     I                     \                                                           I

#HURT        DEHYDRATION       HARM                              EXTERNAL STIMULI -------Death of loved one

  I                     I                                I                                      /                       \                Loss monetary

 INJURY          I                          DISEASES                     COGNITION     BELIEFS           Broken Heart

      \                I                    /    Migraine                                   I                I                    Divorce

       \               I                 /       Asthmatic                                 I                I                   Separation

        \ ------- PAIN-------/                 I                               NEGATIVE EMOTIONS                  I

                      I                           Anginal                               DOUBT                               Empty nest

                      I                           Spondalitus                        ANGER                               Loss of Role

                     I                            Dyspepsia                           REVENGE                           Vacuum

                     I                            Colic                                    LOOSE HOPE                      Retire

                     I                            Arthritis                                       I            

                     I                                                                   DEEP MELANCHOLY

                     I                                                                       FRUSTRATED

ACUTE -----  I----------------------------------- CHRONIC-------/    

  I                                                                           I  

  I                            Blood/Urine/Stool              I          

DOCTOR & TESTS                                       D  E  P  R  E  S  S  I  O  N  

  I                            Ultrasound/X-ray             I                      I              \ COGNITIVE AFFECTS

  I                                                                        I                      I                          Vituperating

POSITIVE -----------------------------------NEGATIVE                 I                          Malingering

       \                                                                                          I                          Ranting

       F    I     X                                                                              I                         Blaming

       /             \                                                                            I                         Bracing

#SURGERY   MEDICATIONS----SIDE-EFFECTS       PHYSICAL AFFECTS         Whining

                                                       Rashness              Blur Vision                     Frowning

                                                       Wt. Gain               Memory loss                 Rubbing

                                                       Indigestion           Slow movement           Twitching

                                                       Dry Mouth           Use of Crutches            Grimacing                      

                                                        Constipation       Support of Cane

                                                        Less Urine           Appetite loss

                                                                                      Sleep disorder

                                                                                      High fatigue

 SINKING INTO DEPRESSION

How does one get into a depression? Clinging like a leech to the past. Our own memory gets us into this black hole of depression. The events in the real world affect us so strongly, that we break down mentally and physically.

LIFE IS A SERIES OF MISHAPS FOR MOST

Broken heart is bound to happen someday. You put your head in the sand like the crane and refuse to see it coming. Divorce, is a way of going on separate paths with new partners or even alone. You cannot bear this loss. It is better than suffering, in a troubled marriage. Empty nest situation is inevitable in your life time. Children will grow up and fly away to find their own nests. This loss of role leaves, a giant hole in your life and you are shattered. Death of a loved one is truly shocking and you were not prepared for it. But this is how life is, highly unpredictable like the other situations: Job loss, retirement, accidents.                                                                

  UNEDUCATED IN ANGER MANAGEMENT

When any of the above events happen in your life, you are jolted to the very core of your being and thrown out of balance. The first reaction is of shock, denial and disbelief. Anger kicks in. Why me, is the first question, we want an answer for? But there are no answers. Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal, with the intent of throwing it at someone else. But you are the one, who is getting burned, by holding on, to that hot coal.

 PAIN IS NORMAL FOR MOST - ALLERGIC TO HAPPINESS / JOY

Sadness followed by fatigue sets in, next. This ball of pain starts as an ache in your heart. It starts to grow bigger and bigger. Soul crushing sense of hopelessness is followed by deep melancholy and despair. This combination of complex feelings and emotions should not last very long. A normal person must be out of this predicament, in a week or two. But when they persist, showing no signs of leaving you, then you are in big trouble. The ball of pain is now a snow ball of anxiety, pessimism, and dread out of proportions.

SOCIAL ILLNESS

A full blown depression is on its way. It is a social illness, because it affects all other people around you. Now the depression moves a step further and takes over the body. A feeling of NO-SELF is experienced. Depression is flat, hollow, and unendurable aloneness. You become slow in the mind, cannot walk normally, lacking in grace, polish, and coordination.  It does graduate many times to a higher level of violence, or total with drawl. Depression bleeds relationships through suspicion and lack of confidence. Your own relatives and friends keep their distance now, just in case. So you end up being all alone, more and more. This is an enormous stress on you, taking you downhill, even faster. Next, you know that you have a full blown depression. For the second time, you get into denial and try to keep it a secret. You are mortally afraid of the stigma of depression. Hence you are prepared to suffer, in greater pain of shame and silence. To complicate the situation further you get into the victim and victimizer mentality. This is the third stage of depression and a pretty advanced one. All your time and energy is focused on blaming others for the unhappiness in your life. Emotional pain is expressed by criticizing, vituperating, ranting, and whining.

MENTALLY AGILE, BODILY IMMOBILE

Psychic scars are left behind when you believe that you are ugly, goofy, and incapable. Then you go into depression. What is the way out of your self-created sorry state of affairs?  Be depressed, don’t fight it. Be aware, even trying being happy. It will go away. Many times, we take drastic measures to get out of these deplorable situations. Extreme actions, can lead us to even bigger problems and we can end up being paralyzed.  Now you are lying down in bed, and cannot move at all, physically. But what is the mind doing. It is mobile. It is thinking and thinking in the wrong direction. You cannot move any part of your body. This is the single thought that is recurring. You are reinforcing the belief that you cannot move.

THE POWER OF AUTO SUGGESTION

Auto suggestion is working for you, of course in the opposite way. The body cooperates with the mind and the muscles do not get the electric charges essential for the muscular movement. How to get out of this predicament?  You have to put in the reverse gear and drive away. The same auto suggestion has to be made to work for you, in the correct manner, the positive way. Think, and think that you can move. Imagine yourself doing all the normal activities. Visualize that you are running the marathon and winning it. Belief is the only factor that is holding you down on the bed. You do not need a doctor to help you. You need a hypnotist to get you up and running. When a hypnotist puts you in a trance and suggests that you can walk and move, the body cooperates immediately. You begin to walk as normally as before. We replaced auto suggestion with external suggestion and it worked. This proves beyond doubt, that there is nothing wrong, medically with the body. It also proves that the mind is the chief culprit. If you are alone in the house and god forbid, fire broke out in the room. You will get up and run out of the house to save yourself. This is the power of the mind over matter, or the body. Do not wait for external suggestions; change your beliefs with auto suggestion. You have the power in you. First say to yourself, what you would like to do or be? Then do what you have to do to get there.

 HEALING YOUR PAIN

A doctor or a surgeon, can repair a damaged heart, but never repair a broken heart. It is only YOU, who can do this. Of course a healer can help and assist. When you discover that something is broken in your life, mind, heart, or spirit, you must go deep down, to find out the cause of the breakage. So you open up the component, examine it minutely; find the origin of the breakage or malfunction. Then, you decide to fix it or replace it. If fixing is needed, got to do it very carefully, delicately and give it a test run.  Otherwise throw it away and replace it. Clean up the place, it once occupied. This is called Closure. It is a prerequisite, for HEALING. Many times, when love or lack of love, breaks our hearts, we allow our hearts to become brittle, hard and we close up, totally.

We do not have to be so harsh, on ourselves. For your own sanity, accept it. It is another lesson to be learnt. The trick is, to LET GO.

Letting go, is accepting, learning and experiencing it, as you grow up.

Letting go, is to be thankful for the experience that made you laugh and cry.

To let go, is to cherish the memories, to overcome and move on. To let go, is not, thinking sad thoughts, and forgetting.

It is having an open mind and confidence in the future.

It is neither winning or losing, nor giving in.

It is not about pride and how you appear.

It is not obsessing or dwelling in the past.

It should not leave feelings of emptiness, hurt, sadness, anger, jealousy, or regret.

It is certainly about you; all you have had and will have, soon again.

COURAGE TO CHANGE

Have the courage to accept change and summon up strength, to keep moving on. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. Love is not a thing or a material object, which can be lost, when given. It is like an ocean. It is bound to come back, if you allow it. Be prepared to open a door, clear a path, and set yourself free. Break up! No, never. You have to do it gently, respect fully, do not be hard on yourself and the other person. Don’t fight sadness. Try to make it go away. Welcome it, indulge in it, feel it. Buy yellow roses as friendship signal and become stronger.                            

YOUR BELIEFS ARE THE REASON FOR YOUR PAIN

Pain and suffering is inevitable in this world, but being miserable is optional. This brings the ball back into your coat. Pain in the human body is a signal for action. Physical harm or hurt, like an injury or a disease will cause severe pain. Now, is the time to get a doctor to make a house call on you? The doctor will examine you thoroughly and conduct a couple of tests, to make sure what and where the malady lies. If the results of the tests are positive, the doctor will take corrective action and fix your problem. If the results of the tests are negative, you are stuck with a bigger problem, which this doctor cannot fix.  It is chronic pain syndrome. Chronic pain is long lasting, irritant, dis-enabling you, from doing your normal social activities: working a job, loss of memory, upset appetite, sleeplessness, perpetual fatigue, slowing down in movements, saying no to sexual pleasures and missing out on laughter and joy, which life has to offer. Your cognition, about chronic pain is fundamental to this cause.                                    

In the primitive days, pain was associated with evil spirits.

In the Judeo-Christian era, pain was accepted as punishment for our sins.

In Greece, pain is taken up as a challenge to deal with.

In China, pain is identified with imbalance in Yin-Yang energies.

Today, pain is the basis of disease-medicine model by our doctors.

CHRONIC PAIN SYNDROME

When you continue to accept your cognition of pain syndrome, the pain persists and gets you into a vicious loop. Doubting emotions are self-fulfilling beliefs. First you lose hope and then lose control over self. The next set of emotions that take over, are anxiety, anger, revenge, for the person who you think, is responsible for your pain, depression, despondency, and finally frustration. All this is in your mind. The experts call it cognition dissonance. It is your inner turmoil resulting from contradictions in personal beliefs and behavior. Cognitive behavior embraces a whole range of mannerisms. You become visible to others, by using supports, canes, crutches, chairs. You also use rubbing, frowning, twitching, jerking, sighing, to draw attention. You voice yourself by moaning, complaining and verbalizing. When you are all alone you reinforce the thoughts by silly self-talk in your head. Why me? The pain hurts and hurts badly. The mind helps the body cooperate, by the absence of all brain-chemicals specially, endorphins.

Chronic pain management encompasses three primary stages. Cognitive restructuring, is achieved by asserting yourself positively. You stop self-talk thoughts, by giving a command to self. Gradually you become useful, thus boosting up your self-esteem, to get out of the loop. Relaxation and deep breathing are recommended as the second step.  Self-hypnosis, by visualizing on pleasant events, helps on mental level. Lastly you must exercise to release brain chemicals in the system. Exercising additionally helps reconditions your muscles, tissues and stamina on the physical level.  

Personally, this chapter is not applicable to me because I was a born healer. I was consulted by my friends on many different problems as early as 16 years of age. I would ask them their monthly consumption of oil, sugar, rice and wheat in kilograms. Next I would advise them to simply change the ratios and see the results. It always worked. I was a social scientist right from start. There were no heart breaks because we were taught that right things will happen at the right time. Since we studied in coed schools we always had friends of both sexes. On the home front,  we had a dozen she cousins & very close family friends to interact with and grow up congenially. I was the lucky one to go and live with my uncles, aunts for long extended periods. I was introduced to yoga exercises at a very early age. In college I played all racket games like badminton, lawn tennis, squash, & table tennis to keep myself in perfect shape. So fortunate........ unbelievable.

Rohit Khanna - Before knowledge Insane, After knowledge IN-SANE