#im in tears Im so sincerely loving and open in this moment
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tuliptiger · 2 years ago
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Up at 10:30 PM to try and catch some meteors, I think it's the wrong time and the wrong sky in my area to see any with my eyes. But what absolute joy, unadulterated wonder and openness to the natural world. I adore the earth and the stars and galaxy.
Those are my siblings up there, twinkling and burning and shing. I love them so so much. Infinitely yours, mine, everyone's, and never to be anyone's. These stars really have me feeling everything all at once, I feel comforted and loved even knowing there are some odd 110 meteors burning up in the atmosphere at every hour.
I can't wait for the summer to be out in the open in shorts and blanket on grass and so incredibly warm, too warm and not even close to how hot the stars are. And maybe that's the closest I will ever get to them in this body and maybe it's close enough.
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nereidprinc3ss · 7 months ago
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come on home
in which the only person who can comfort you after your breakup with spencer reid, is spencer reid
inspired by the song "summer's end" by the artist currently known as phoebe bridgers
wc 2857
warnings: gn!reader (correct me if im wrong), minor mommy issues, angst, happy ending
a/n: thank you to the person who requested this:) u r an angel and I listened to this song the whole time i wrote (if you haven't heard, listen!!) i sincerely hope you enjoy, i like this one a lot<3
She hung up on you. 
Forty-seven minutes of being insulted and berated after you’d called her looking for comfort, and you put up with every single cruel word—just for your mother to hang up on you. And it’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do, so you shouldn’t be surprised. An ache, you’d expect—but it shouldn’t sting like this. You thought you knew better. 
Now you’re in a ball on your couch, clutching your phone to your chest and crying. There’s no point hiding it. Your roommate is out with her girlfriend for the evening—which is too bad because even though you feel like being alone, you’re sure that’s the wrong call. Your other friends are out having fun tonight, too. They’d even invited you, but you turned them down. Look where that had gotten you. Obviously, your mother is not the person you’re about to run to for comfort, either. 
You try to pretend, while you’re thinking of all these people who have ever cared for you, that Spencer Reid isn’t on your mind at all. You try to pretend like you don’t care that the person who loved you until you believed you actually deserved it is a contact going stale deep in the bowels of your text cache. With bleary eyes you scroll down, looking for your conversation where it gathers dust—the end of your relationship was a mutual decision, and you’re friendly, but you haven’t texted in a few weeks. Probably because every time the conversation starts to feel a little too easy, or the phone call lasts a little too long, that aching void in your chest gets worse and worse. Like pain in a phantom limb, you become acutely aware of what you do not have and how much it hurts.  
So blame it on the tears, or the mind-muddling melodrama of your relationship with your mother, blame it on anything but the truth—when your thumb drops on that call button like the plunger on a syringe, you don’t regret it.  
What you’re not expecting is for him to answer after the first ring. 
“Hi,” you say with a snuffle before Spencer can get a word in. There’s a brief interlude, in which you pick at your nails, comfortable to just sit in silence if that’s what he wants. As long as he’s there. 
“Hi.” Hearing his voice instantly melts a bit of the weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying. Another pause, for which you remain silent, because you can feel him formulating a question—and you’d like to hear him speak again. “...am I allowed to ask if you’re okay?” 
Your lips purse and twist to the side, pained and comforted by how easily he can tell that you’re distraught. One word across a tinny connection, and he knows. 
“No. Yes. I mean... I guess that’s why I called you. But you don’t have to ask me about it.” You sniff again and take a deep breath. “How was your day? What state are you in?” 
“I’m in the district,” he answers after a moment, easing into a casualness that he likely doesn’t feel for your sake. Wind crunches through the speaker. He probably just got out of work. “My day was... it was good. I got to talk about my job to a bunch of elementary schoolers, which is always a confidence boost.” 
You chuckle, still laying on your side on the couch and watching storm clouds gathering outside. 
“Nice, nice. What else?” 
“Let’s see... I forgot lunch, so I had three oranges, and they were actually pretty good. I reread Game of Thrones—I don’t know why I did that. I’m never going to like that book.” 
“Masochist,” you smile. He laughs, and you hear the sound of a car door opening. 
“Oh! I talked to my mom. Believe it or not, she says hi.” 
A completely inadvertent snort constitutes your response. It’s not what you meant to do, and out of context it’s sort of mean, but you actually think it’s incredibly endearing that he still talks to his mother about you. He scrambles to explain himself. 
“I swear, we barely talked about you this time. Mostly we talked about her new boyfriend Leonard.” 
“No, no, that’s not... I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you or your mom. That’s really sweet, actually. Tell her I say hi too.” 
When he next speaks, you can hear the smile in his voice. 
“I will.” Another long pause. You imagine him sitting in the parking lot at Quantico, keys vertical in the ignition of his old car and feeling the silence just as much as you are. He surprises you by not ending the conversation—instead he asks a question. It is concern, poorly disguised with nervous humor. Or maybe you just know him too well. “Do I get to find out what’s on your mind, or are you leaving me in suspense here?”  
You bite the inside of your cheek. 
“Um... well, actually, I just got off the phone with my mom, too. It didn’t go so well,” you laugh halfheartedly, “I know it was dumb to try and have an actual conversation with her, but... you know me. Always following blind optimism to the depths of hell.” 
“Why’d you call your mom?” he asks, so gently it brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes. Still, you attempt to put a cheerful affect on your strained voice. 
“Mm, you know. Just needed someone to talk to.” 
Spencer’s knowing sigh does little to make you feel better. 
“You know you can always talk to me, right? I know it’s... it’s different now, but... I care about you a lot. And, you know, I receive very few phone calls, so the line is pretty much always open.” 
Your laugh quickly devolves into a cry. 
“I appreciate that, but I can’t talk to you about everything.” 
“Why not?” he pleads immediately, voice thin and desperate like it’s his most burning question. A million lies dance over the tip of your tongue. A million things that feel safer to say than the truth. But in the end, it comes out anyway—choked, and so quiet, but aloud nonetheless. 
“Because I’m trying really hard to stop missing you so much.” 
Another long beat of silence. The back of your throat feels dry and hollow—a cage for your hummingbird heart. 
“If it hurts too much to talk to me, you don’t need to do that to yourself. But I also don’t want you to hurt yourself thinking you’re alone. You are... so important to me. I will always try to take care of you the best I can—whether that means staying away or being at your front door. If you ever need me, or even... vaguely want me, I will be there.” 
Each word caves your resolve. Each syllable is a slap in the face to progress you’d been pretending to make. You can be strong—you've proven that over the past ten weeks. You can be stone-faced and slash at your heart until the scar tissue is thick and jagged, and eventually it won’t hurt anymore. But maybe, by letting someone tend to the wounds, they’ll heal a little nicer. A little kinder. Even if you can’t undo the damage, maybe one day you’ll be soft again. 
“What if I vaguely want you right now?” you sniffle. 
Finally, you hear the silver jingle of keys turning. The sputter and rumble of an old engine coming to life. 
“Then I’m on my way.” 
Twenty four minutes later, there’s a soft knock at your door.  
After the call had ended, you’d wondered if you made it all up. Surely your ex-boyfriend wasn’t actually about to show up at your apartment. Someone you’ve grieved for can’t just come back—there are countless horror novels and movies based upon that very tenet. Does it matter if they ever actually died? How long is ten weeks, really? It feels like a lifetime. 
You shuffle across the room, wiping under your eyes with your already damp sleeves, and undoing all the locks Spencer had conditioned you to start using. When the door cracks open, and you see Spencer standing there, windswept and concerned, for the first time in months, it hits you like a tidal wave. You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, still just as in love with him as you ever were. The relief that floods your veins as he looks down at you with so much care in his eyes is like sinking into warm water. It’s a dead giveaway, and maybe it makes this whole thing a terrible idea, but you can’t seem to care very much. You open the door wider, and he enters, and he stands in your kitchen with his hands in his coat pocket as you shut the door and he’s perfect. It dawns on you that for the first time since the breakup, you feel safe. Like you don’t have to be a stone pillar anymore. This, of course, translates into even more tears, which you try to hide as you face away, re-locking the door.  
“Sweetheart...” he sighs, because you can’t hide anything from him. Hearing the resonance of his voice so close to you once more is overwhelming. In an instant you’re rushing into his arms, and he accepts you without hesitation. You bury your teary face in the vetiver safety of his button-up and slip your arms under his coat, as if you could absorb his warmth and forever hide from the world that way. He pulls you even closer. It’s terrible and cruel how much he is exactly what you needed. “What’s wrong? What did she say?” 
You shake your head and gasp a small sob. 
Truthfully, you’re not really crying about the petty insults from your mother anymore. You’re back to square one, the reason you’d called your mother to begin with—you miss the man whose arms are currently wound around your shoulders. 
His hand smooths over the back of your hair. 
“Okay. That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.” 
You stay like that—content even as you cry because being with him feels so much safer than being alone. It feels right—or perhaps it’s just familiar. You don’t know which is worse.  
Spencer is rubbing soothing lines up and down your back as you cling to him, soaking him up in all his ephemeral, comforting glory. He surprises you by chuckling—it vibrates through his chest, buzzing against your ear. 
“Nice Magritte print. I bet the person who bought that has fantastic taste.” 
“Are you gonna ask for it back?” you mumble into the fabric of his suit jacket. He is, of course, referring to the painting you’d more or less stolen from his apartment seven months ago. You really don’t want him to take it home. It’s the most overt Spencer memorabilia you’d allowed yourself to keep in plain sight. 
“No, baby. You can keep it.” The words are low, and kind, and they settle you some, but you can’t seem to get him close enough. “What can I do?” he whispers after a moment, helpless as you take a shuddering breath. “Can I make you tea? Have you eaten?” 
“Will you just... stay for a little bit? I’ll—I promise I’ll stop crying.” 
There is an unexpected lull where you thought you’d receive pretty immediate agreement, but before you can pull back and ask what’s wrong, he murmurs, “yeah. I can stay for a while. But you have to kick me out before it gets too late.” 
You wonder if you’re imagining the double-entendre that seems to underline his words in bold red ink. Spencer is too smart to have not noticed a thing like that. You don’t mention it—it all boils down to the same unspoken idea. 
Don’t let me stay, because I might not leave. 
“I will,” you sniff, finally stepping back and wiping your own tears. It hurts to lose his touch, but at least you know he’s not going anywhere for the next few hours. This, as opposed to everything else lately, can be a beginning instead of an end.  
At least, until he goes home. 
Three and a half hours later, after tea, an impromptu dinner comprised mostly of cheese and crackers, and several vinyl changes on your record player (which served only as background noise for your long, ambling conversations), things are seeming to wind down to a natural stopping point. Which you hate. The whole time you’d had a dull ache in your chest because talking to him was easier than breathing and you knew it wouldn’t last. There had been one or two false bottoms already—the first when you’d yawned around nine, and the second when you’d gotten up to do your skincare and brush your teeth half an hour later. Even then he’d just leaned against the doorframe, watching your reflection above the sink as you talked for fifteen more minutes. Now you stand across from each other in the kitchen, plates restacked and everything in order. Of course he’d insisted on helping you clean up. 
“I should go,” he says, with a soft sort of finality in his voice.  
“Is your carriage turning into a pumpkin?” you tease gently, to hide how much you don’t want him to leave. He smiles—a small, weary thing—but genuinely and endlessly charmed by you. 
“That among other things.” 
“Would you—would you walk me to my room first?” 
The hesitance is clear in his eyes and the way his lips part as if to say, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, but you're sure he’s really going to leave in a moment and you’re also sure he won’t deny you this one small thing before he does. 
“Okay.” 
It’s a short, silent walk through the living room and down the hall to your bedroom door, but you can feel him trailing behind you the whole way. You stop in front of your open door, turning face to face with him.  
“Thanks,” you murmur.  
His lips pull into a melancholy smile. 
“Anytime.” 
There’s nothing left to do but wrap your arms around each other once more, tuck yourself into the you-sized space between his head and shoulder and hold on for as long as he’ll let you. The hug lingers for longer than is wise. Spencer adjusts his arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you nuzzle against his neck, grateful that at least he seems as reluctant to let this end as you are.  
But eventually, it relaxes. Your hold on each other loosens. His face is just inches from yours, and you get to study every plane and valley and line like you’d thought you never would again. It seems he’s doing the same—losing himself in the luxury of seeing you up close. 
“Will you kiss me goodnight?” you whisper, unable to muster any self-consciousness though you know it’s a fool’s errand. Spencer strokes your waist. 
“I can’t do that, honey.” 
“Why not?” 
His voice is just as quiet as yours. It falters slightly as he speaks, so gently, so patiently. 
“Because we’re not together anymore.” 
“Why not?” 
Your feeble, desperate supplication sounds pitiable even to you. You’re not proud, but you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, either. All you want is an answer. But it’s like a child asking why the sky is blue, or the earth is round. There is a definitive explanation, but mostly, the adult will shrug, and say, that’s just how it is. 
Spencer’s eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts down. 
“We can’t do this again, sweetheart. You know why we’re not together.” 
In theory—yes. You’d had so many conversations when you’d broken up. It had been a long, painful process, spanning multiple all-nighters at his kitchen table, nursing coffee and trying to convince each other and yourselves that it was the right choice. But it just feels like a horrible, horrible mistake. You feel desperate to explain this to him before he slips away again—the words come out flustered, inelegant as you cling to him.
“But I don’t think I’m getting better without you. I tried, I tried so hard to be good on my own, but everything is worse and harder and—and we weren’t sure about it then, and I don’t think it was the right choice, because I still really need you. Like, all the time. I’m—it’s not getting better without you. Nothing got better.” 
He swallows, eyes darting between yours for an infinite second. You’re breathless and your heart is pounding after your confession—you can feel your eyes stinging with the few tears that managed to escape as you spoke. 
“Everything is worse,” he agrees shakily. “Everything. I’m—I’m getting disciplinary infractions from Hotch like I’m a child because I can’t focus on anything. Game of Thrones is the most complex literature I can comprehend right now. I had to use a calculator the other day.” 
You want to laugh, but nothing is funny until he’s yours again. 
“Then come back. Please come back, Spencer.” 
Finally, he leans closer, until your heads are pressed together, and his nose bumps yours, feather light. You're dizzy. You exhale. He inhales. 
“I don’t think I knew how to leave in the first place.” 
When he kisses you, it feels like home. 
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likeumeanit9497 · 2 months ago
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metal | m.s. |
matt sturniolo x fem!reader
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summary: y/n got a few new piercings, and when her best friend matt asks to see them, she can't say no
warnings: smut; unprotected p in v (bad); oral (fem receiving); masturbation (m/f); phone sex; dirty talk; 18+
notes: hiii guys. i feel like tumblr's flakiest writer ever coming back on here every few weeks with a one-shot and telling u all im gonna be more consistent but then just not being consistent at all. i just started a new college program and it is taking up so (!!!!) much of my time, so ive been barely able to put any time towards writing for funsies. soooo it might take me a couple weeks to put out one shots (sad) while im in this program, but i swear im doing the best i can. i appreciate u all so so so so much, but matt girls this one is for u <33
─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
With a sigh of relief, I crawled into bed. It was late, and I was exhausted after a long day of dealing with family shit. The only thing that got me through my day listening to my dead-beat father come up with yet another excuse on why he no-showed at my birthday dinner was the promise that, at the end of the day, I would be able to curl up in bed and forget all of my problems. Now that time had come, and I couldn’t wait to turn on some trashy reality TV show and lose myself in their cushioned world for a little while.
Just as I started the show, I felt my phone vibrate beside me. For just a moment I was filled with dread — thinking that I would be once again pulled back into the drama that was my father — but once I saw the name at the top of my screen, I felt my body relax. Matt was calling.
Matt was my best friend, and he had been for years. Him and I met on the first day of school freshman year, and immediately became inseparable. He was the only person in my life who I ever felt comfortable around enough to truly open up to about my problems. There really wasn’t much in my life that he didn’t know, so of course I had told him last night that I was going to see my father, and of course that was why he was calling. Annoyingly, I felt a smile creep up on my face. I hated that I loved how involved he got with my problems; as if they were his own. I would never admit this to anyone, but it really helped because it made me feel less alone.
“Hey you.” I greeted him after accepting the call. “Hey Y/n.” His voice sounded familiar in my ear, and already it calmed the sea of bad thoughts crashing in my mind. “How did today go?” He asked, keeping his tone light. I knew though that if I could see his face, there would be faint lines of concern etched in his forehead. I sighed. “Exactly like I knew it would. He gave me an insincere apology and weak excuse the way he always does.” Matt stayed silent on the other side of the call, allowing me the time to tell him as much as I wanted. His soft breathing through the speaker, however, comforted me and let me know that he was listening.
“He smelled like a distillery and couldn’t stop slurring his words, yet he was still trying to tell me that he hadn’t drank all week.” I heard my voice weaken, and I hated that I felt a lump forming in my throat over the situation. I hated that I cared, and I definitely didn’t want anyone to know that I did; even Matt. But of course, he knew anyways. I heard an empathetic sigh through the phone. “I’m sorry, Y/n.” I rolled my eyes, doing everything I could to keep the tears from falling. “It’s whatever. It’s not like I’m really losing much, but I did tell him that I’m done for good.” I forced my words to come out smooth, like I didn’t care. And I didn’t, not really.
“That must have been really hard, Y/n. I’m really sorry.” Matt’s words were sincere, and they caused the lump in my throat to grow even bigger. I forced out a laugh to keep my other emotions at bay. “Don’t be sorry. It’s better this way. Maybe now I can finally have peace in my crazy life.” There was silence on the line, and I knew it was because Matt wanted me to go deeper about my feelings, but I couldn’t handle much more tonight.
“Anyways,” I started, blinking away my tears and plastering a corny smile on my face as if Matt could even see it, “How have you been? We haven’t talked much over the past week.” At the change of subject, Matt picked up on my disinterest in the topic of my father, and like the best friend he is, transitioned into our new topic smoothly. “I’ve been good, been working a lot but it’s been on exciting things. What have you been up to? You know, besides today?” I chuckled softly.
“Honestly not much besides work. My boss has been really stressed out since the end of last quarter so I’ve been coming into the office early and staying well past five every day.” I paused, staring up at my ceiling trying to think if there was anything exciting I could tell Matt. Suddenly, I remembered that there actually was something that I had done that was more interesting than just working late all week. “Oh! I also got some new piercings last week.” It was Matt’s turn to chuckle.
“Y/n, how the fuck did you fit more piercings on your body?” I laughed. He was right, both of my ears were filled with every piercing imaginable, and I also had my nose, tongue, and belly button pierced. I had already told him that I would never get anymore facial piercings, and I certainly didn’t have much room on my ears to get more, so I understood his confusion entirely. “Do you want to guess where they are?” I teased, feeling relieved to have something to talk about that didn’t make be absolutely miserable for once. “Sure,” I heard what sounded like a blanket rubbing against the speaker, and I assumed that Matt was now getting comfortable in bed, also seemingly enjoying the light-hearted conversation, “But can I get some hints?”
“Sure,” I replied, “You can ask me three questions.” I heard him smile through the phone. “Okay…” There was a pause as he came up with his first question. “How many did you get?” Without hesitation, I was able to respond. “I got three.” There was another pause, and then. “Are two of them a part of a pair?” I laughed at Matt’s not-so-subtle guess. I had told him months ago that I had been wanting to get a certain pair of piercings for a while, and I knew he was thinking of that exact conversation. “Yes they are.” I replied, and there was a dramatic gasp on the line. “Ouch, you actually got your nipples pierced?” His voice was laced with playful concern, and something else. Intrigue?
“Okay okay, you got two out of the three. One more question left.” I encouraged him. If he was shocked about my nipple piercings, I couldn’t wait to hear his reaction to the third. He was silent again for a moment, surely confused by the third piercing. Nipple piercings weren’t that outlandish for me, and he knew that, but this last one is sure to blow his mind. “Oh god, I don’t know. Is it another body piercing?” His tone sounded so helpless, and I knew he really didn’t have a clue. “It is, yes.” I did my best to contain my laughter at this point, not wanting to give it away.
“Is it a second belly button piercing?” The guess was weak, and by the tone of his voice he knew it. “Nope.” I replied, biting my nails in anticipation. He was once again silent on the phone, and I knew he was officially running out of ideas. After a moment, I decided to give him one last hint. “Think lower.”
A new silence poured from the phone. Before, there was the silence of deep thought. Now, there was a heavier silence that let me know he finally put it together in his head. Below your belly button, there aren’t many places you can get pierced. He knew that just as much as I did. But I didn’t know if his silence meant he was just shocked, or if he was genuinely disappointed in me. For the first time since becoming friends with Matt, I felt nervous that maybe I had gone too far.
“You’re serious?” He asked, finally breaking his silence, and I couldn’t help but release a short, nervous laugh. “Yeah. Why? Did I just delve too far into the daddy-issues stereotype?” I tried to keep my tone humorous, but inside I was actually worried that was true. Did he think I was weird now? Or did the fact that I had a piece of metal pierced atop my bundle of nerves immediately turn me into some dirty whore in his eyes?
“No! Jesus, no Y/n.” His rushed words put a pause on my spiralling thoughts, and I felt myself relax slightly. “It’s just,” In that moment, I wished that I could see his face. At least then I would have better odds of being able to read him instead of just waiting helplessly on the other side of the phone. He was struggling to find the words he wanted to say, and in my mind that meant he was getting ready to give me some sort of lecture. It wasn’t something that he was in the habit of doing, but I had also never done anything as shocking as this before. I began to prepare myself for this lecture, and come up with explanations and excuses for what I had done, when his hesitant words stopped me in my tracks.
“Can I see them?”
I stared at my phone for a second, unsure if I was just hearing things. “You want to see them?” I couldn’t stop myself from asking, for clarification’s sake. I was shocked. Even with how close Matt and I are, we had never ever seen each other naked. In fact, there had been no physical intimacy between us other than platonic cuddles every once in a while. I would be lying, though, if I denied ever having moments of weakness. There had been times, when we would have sleepovers after tough days and the heat of Matt’s comforting body pressed against me, where I had wanted to throw all logic aside and press my lips to his. But I never would have done it. Matt wasn’t exactly known for his boldness, and I feared that my bad habit of being spontaneous would absolutely destroy our friendship. But now, he had me questioning all of that.
“I’m curious.” He replied, his tone nonchalant. I still couldn’t tell if he was being serious, and I felt like a deer in headlights. Just as I was about to tell him to stop fucking around, my screen lit up with a Facetime call from Matt. My stomach did a flip. “You gonna pick up?” His voice made me jump, but I cleared my throat and hit accept.
Suddenly, Matt’s face filled my screen. He was in his bed, the only light in his room seeming to come from a faint source; likely his computer screen. His face was so familiar, and the smile he sent me so comforting, that I immediately felt more at ease than I felt before. “Hey.” He said gently, and I laughed at the ridiculousness of this moment. “Hey” I replied before shifting my position in bed nervously. “So you were serious?” I asked awkwardly, and he nodded. “If you’re okay with it, obviously.” I took a deep breath. I was okay with it, of course, but it was just so out of the norm for us that I felt shell shocked.
“I’ll show you nipples first.” I said, sitting up in my bed before grabbing the bottom hem of my oversized t-shirt. I positioned my phone in front of my still-clothed chest, and watched his face on the screen. He laid naturally in bed, acting as if nothing was out of the ordinary, but the way his dilated blue eyes were glued to the screen I could tell that he was feeling the same kind of anticipation that I was. Slowly, I finally lifted my shirt up over my chest; allowing him a full view of my new piercings.
I intentionally left the shirt up to block my own vision, because I couldn’t handle watching him stare at my tits for the first time. In the dark, all I heard was silence for what felt like forever, and I got worried that I had somehow lost him. Cautiously, I pulled my t-shirt away from my eyes, and glanced at him on the screen. He was staring intently; I could see his eyes move from one tit to the other every few seconds, and there was a slight grin across his face. “Wow.” He said finally, still taking them in. “Those are sick piercings.” I stifled a laugh at the fact that he was still trying to act like it was all just about the piercings, and that there weren’t two tits attached to the metal. “Thanks.” I replied, a small chuckle still evident in my voice.
I allowed him a few more seconds of shameless staring before speaking again. “You ready for the third?” I watched as he blinked a few times and took a deep breath. “I can’t wait.” He replied, causing my stomach to do another flip. I brought the phone back up to my face as I laid back down, smiling at him nervously as I pulled my comforter off my lower body. I was only wearing a pair of panties, so I already felt shy when I positioned my phone in between my legs. I used the front camera still, hoping that it would allow him a better view, but hated that you could still see the lower part of my face.
Matt hadn’t moved in his bed since I looked at him last. In fact, it almost looked like his image was frozen. His eyes were still glued to the screen, and he seemed to be barely blinking; as if he was scared that if he did, he would miss it entirely. “Okay, ready?” I asked, using the hand that wasn’t holding the phone steady to grab onto the side of my panties. Even in the almost-dark of his room, I could see him gulp before nodding his head. “Ready.” He replied.
Slowly, I hooked a finger under my panties, and pulled them to the side. In the blink of an eye, all of me had been revealed to Matt through a screen inches away from my core. My eyes veered back and forth from myself in the phone and Matt’s expression. I could see the shiny metal glitter against my pink clit, and watched as Matt visibly struggled to keep his composure. Neither of us spoke for a moment, and I felt myself begin to tremble under his shameless stare. I grew nervous, then, that my body would begin to give away how suddenly aroused I became under his eyes. My core was flooding with heat, and I knew that I was beginning to grow slick with my wetness.
“Does it hurt?” He finally spoke, but his voice had changed drastically since I had last heard it. It had dropped nearly a whole octave, and there was a sort of breathlessness to it that was foreign to me. It was the voice of arousal, and that knowledge was enough to drive me crazy. “N-no, it doesn’t,” I replied, using all the strength in me to not squeeze my legs together to relieve some of the pressure flooding my core. “It’s been a week, and these sorts of piercings heal really quick surprisingly. I can touch it and everything.” My last sentence fell from my mouth thoughtlessly, and I immediately felt my cheeks grow hot at my accidental boldness. That didn’t last long, though, because Matt’s next words pulled all that heat right back to where it was before.
“So touch it then.”
It was like all the sense was knocked out of me from his words. I would have thought that my instinct would have been to laugh and roll my eyes before telling Matt to knock it off, but the seriousness of his tone, the sharp blue of his piercing eyes, and gruffness of his voice caused my brain to shut off. Immediately, my hand traveled to my bud, where I began to slowly play with the metal. Although I had been telling the truth when I told Matt that it was fully healed, I hadn’t yet touched myself in this way since getting it pierced, and the new sensation immediately sent pleasurable shock waves through my body. As I began to slowly rub my clit, the metal added a new level of pressure to the nerves that — combined with the adrenaline that came from doing this in front of my best friend for the first time — caused me to throw my head back against my pillows.
“Tell me how it feels.” Matt’s deep voice filled the space around me in a way that made me feel even more erotic, and I released a soft moan. “I-It feels good.” I replied breathlessly, my fingers beginning to move quicker as I squeezed my eyes shut in pleasure. “Better than before?” His question came out slightly choppy, and through the phone speaker I heard the rhythmic shuffling of his comforter. “Y-yes. Much better.” I managed to reply, the thought of what he was doing to himself on the other side of the screen pushing me closer to the edge.
“Look at me.” He commanded, and without hesitation I lifted my head up; looking at him through the screen. He could only see the lower half of my face, but I could see all of his. As I continued toying with myself, I watched him through fluttering eyelashes. Although his face had not changed much — besides the darkening of his pupils and the faint accumulation of sweat on his brow — the repetitive movement of his bicep at the corner of the screen told me everything that I needed to know. “You look so good.” He complimented me, his voice low and gravelly. I moaned in response, rolling my hips slowly as I began to grow antsy with a need that I knew I couldn’t fulfill myself.
The pleasure was growing like a balloon deep inside of me, but my own fingers weren’t enough to reach it. Not now; not when I have a beautiful man that I trust more than anyone else watching me with that dangerously erotic gaze. Just like Matt knows everything about me, I know everything about him. And so I know that, in this moment, he wants the same thing that I do. That’s why I didn’t feel any unease or hesitation when I drew my fingers away from my clit, ran them achingly slow along the rest of my heat, and spoke.
“Please come over Matt.”
It was a request that I had made to him countless times. Those times I was usually close to tears after a long day of dealing with the shitty cards I had been handed in the family department. I needed him then, like I need him now. In those times he never ever hesitated, and this time was no different. In one swift motion, I watched through the screen as Matt lifted himself out of his bed, threw on a t-shirt, and grabbed his keys off the bedside table. “I’ll be there in ten.” Just like my request, his response was the same as always. As I told him to drive safe before hanging up the call, I felt my body vibrate in a way it never had before. I pulled my hand out of my panties and waited in desperate anticipation for the familiar sound of his car pulling into my driveway.
𓆩☆𓆪
Matt arrived at my place in eight minutes, and as soon as I saw his headlights through my window, I sprung out of bed and raced to the door. There was no nervousness, no reluctancy, no questioning whether or not we were making a big mistake; all I knew was that I needed his hands on my burning skin desperately.
I flung the door open before he even had a chance to knock, but Matt didn’t hesitate before pulling me into him and engulfing my mouth with his own. Although we had never kissed before, it wasn’t shock that I felt in that moment; it was the melting satisfaction of familiarity. I practically collapsed in his arms as his mouth moved against mine as if they were two pieces of a puzzle, and relished in the feeling of his hands travelling wildly across my aching body at last.
As he held me gently against the wall, I felt his hardened member press against my core, and I shuddered in pleasurable frustration. In that moment, I could have lost all self control — pulled his pants and boxers down in one movement and slipped his cock into my aching core right then and there — if he hadn’t grabbed onto my ass and lifted me off of the ground. Without removing his lips from mine, he carried me past my entrance way and all the way into my dark bedroom as if he had memorized every square inch of my place.
As he continued to kiss me with hungry desire, he paradoxically draped my body gently against my bed. Leaning over me, his mouth refused to leave mine and his tongue begged me for entrance. I obliged, and our tongues swirled together with comfort; as if they were old friends. The sound of our heavy breathing filled my head, and I ran my hands along his body; allowing myself to feel him in a way I never had before. Each part of him felt familiar — his back, his arms, his stomach — but each new part of him I touched set off sparks of electricity under my fingertips. This was real, and this was good.
It was only after I began toying with the waistband of his pants, and he the hem of my shirt, that our lips separated and we really looked at each other since the moment he arrived. Both of our chests were heaving as we tried to catch our breath, and I gazed up at his darkened eyes for what felt like forever, until a soft smile crept onto his swollen lips. “Hi.” He said, and I released a short laugh realizing that this was the first word either one of us had said to the other since hanging up the Facetime call. “Hey.” I replied, a smile matching his now etched onto my face.
“Can I take this off?” He tugged on the bottom of my t-shirt, and I nodded. “Please.” I replied, feeling no shame in my clear desperation. Matt obliged, pulling the shirt up over my head and exposing the tits he had seen on Facetime not long before. There was a pause, and for the first time since we started all this I felt briefly insecure. That is, until I looked up to his face and saw his jaw physically dropped in awe. He looked like he had fallen into some sort of trance, and mindlessly brought his two gentle hands toward my hardened, pierced nipples. He ran a soft thumb against each piercing, and I hissed at the deliciously taunting sensation.
“Do these ones hurt at all?” His voice was soft, almost a whisper, but his eyes never left my chest. “These ones do a little, yeah.” I replied, to which his eyes finally fluttered up to my face with slight concern. “But it’s really not that bad.” I added, reassuring him out of fear that he might suddenly not want to continue. This seemed to help, as his eyes made their way back to my chest before his body suddenly began tilting forward. He leaned above my chest, really only centimetres away, and I watched as he placed two small, unbelievably gentle kisses against each hardened nipple. The ecstasy I felt in that moment caused me to release a soft moan, and goosebumps spread across my skin like wildfire, and I suddenly realized that I needed him more than ever.
As if reading my mind, his mouth then began moving slowly down my writhing body. He took his time on my sternum, then the skin below my belly button, then my hip bones, and I felt like I could explode. My hands flew to his hair and I subconsciously tugged at its base in decadent frustration. And then slowly, so, so, slowly, Matt began dragging my soaked panties down my legs. I felt like I could crumble under his gaze, but his eyes never left my newly exposed core. Blinking ever so slowly, he dropped to his knees and grabbed my shaky legs to part them. Once he did, I watched as he groaned softly at what he saw.
I knew without having to look that I was literally dripping from arousal, and that hunch was confirmed when Matt took one finger and dragged it along my slit; collecting the overabundance of fluid. He didn’t even take his eyes off of my centre, he just brought his wet finger to his mouth and wrapped his lips around it; so transfixed by what he saw in front of him that he didn’t even care to make a scene of tasting me for the first time. I had never felt more glorious than I did in that moment, and it was so overwhelming that I could have came just from sight alone.
Slowly, Matt’s mouth inched closer and closer to my clit, before he carefully wrapped his lips around it. Upon the first contact of his warm tongue playing with the cool metal of my piercing, I was hit with a powerful wave of pleasure that shook my whole body. As he picked up speed, swirling and sucking my bundle of nerves, I couldn’t control the sounds that fell from my lips. Moans of pleasure, pain, and anticipation filled the room, and they only seemed to draw similar ones from Matt.
Matt slid two fingers into me with ease, and began pumping them in and out in rhythm with the movements of his tongue. His fingers were curled up to just the place I needed them to be, and I felt what was left of my sanity begin to crumble as I approached an orgasm. The orgasm that I had been desperately needing since our Facetime call. It’s impending presence had taken control of my mind for what felt like forever, and now it was finally threatening to take control of my entire body. Yet, still, I needed more.
Quickly, before the first waves could crash, I pulled Matt’s face away. Immediately, his blissed-out expression quickly changed to one of concern, but before he had the chance to speak, my desperate voice filled the room. “Please Matt, I want to cum with you.” His features softened before understanding flashed in his eyes. Without saying a word, he stood up and began unzipping his pants. I waited in anticipation, watching with hungry eyes as his painfully hard member sprung free from his boxers. Once he had fully discarded his clothes, he leaned down and kissed me so deeply that I saw stars. His mouth tasted like me, and I couldn’t help but slip my tongue past his lips; intoxicated by the combination of me and him on my tastebuds.
I felt his naked member press against my core and I shuddered from pure lust. I was so engulfed in the intensity that I was afraid I would fall into pieces as soon as he slid into me. Breaking the kiss, Matt straightened himself out and grabbed my legs before placing them on either side of his waist. The two pieces of us that needed each other the most right now were just inches from one another. My eyes fell between my legs, and I watched in euphoric awe as Matt grabbed his swollen member, lined it up with my centre, and slowly pushed into me. His movements were so torturously, deliciously slow, my eyes rolled and my head fell back onto the mattress.
On each slow roll of his hips, his cock slammed into my g-spot and made my vision go spotty. I held onto his flexed shoulders like I was drowning and they were my life raft, and I released harsh guttural moans each time my walls stretched; welcoming him graciously. “Fuck, you feel so good.” Matt’s raspy voice fluttered my stomach, and I opened my eyes to come face-to-face with him. He was staring down at my contorted face with a look filled with nothing but pleasure and adoration. His flushed cheeks and dark pink lips gave him a look that bordered on innocent, but there was a certain hint of hard focus in the depths of his ocean eyes that told me he was feeling as good as I was.
Each time he thrusted into me, the soft crest of his pelvis brushed ever so lightly against my new piercing; granting me a new form of pleasure that I had never experienced before. I had been told by other people that the piercing can be intense during sex, but I had underestimated just how intense it would be. I had no sense of control as Matt’s cock continued to drive into me, and I couldn’t help but vocalize how he was making me feel.
“J-just like that Matt, fuck!”
“Your c-cock fills me s-so go-od!”
“H-harder, please baby!”
At my last statement, Matt showed he was listening by suddenly slamming into me harder and faster than I had ever felt before. He grabbed my legs and wrapped them tightly around his waist, and as I arched my back in pleasure he draped one of his arms around it and used the other to hold my jaw; brushing it lightly with his thumb to ensure me that his gentleness had not completely disappeared. His breathing quickly grew more and more rapid, and deep grunts fell from his mouth every few seconds.
I was hit with shockwaves of pleasure upon each of his thrusts, and I knew that my orgasm was closer than ever. I dug my nails into his back and tightened my legs around him in a desperate and subconscious attempt at getting as close as possible to him, and it was clear that there was no stopping the orgasm that was bubbling inside of me. “G-gonna cum Matt.” I squeaked out, rolling my hips up slightly deepen his thrusts even more. “Good girl, want me to cum with you?” His words were in my ear, and even the dampness that his mouth made against my skin added to my unraveling euphoria. Beyond the point of being able to speak correctly, I simply nodded my head frantically.
As I did, Matt released the deep moan that pushed me over the edge. My orgasm took control of every cell in my body, and I cried out in overwhelming pleasure as it tore me to shreds. I felt my body stiffen so much that I was practically lifting off of the bed, and my walls pulsed intensely as I squirted violently all over Matt. Just then, I felt Matt’s body stiffen above me, and his movements became a whisper as he cursed into my ear. “Oh fuck, fuck, fuck.” His moans rang in my ear with each of his weak thrusts, and I felt his twitching cock paint my walls white as he came undone in unison with me.
Eventually, his body stilled completely, and he rested above me as we both caught our breaths and came down from our highs. His cock slipped out of me, and I immediately felt cold and empty in its absence. After a few moments, Matt lifted his head from my shoulder and gazed at me with a soft smile on his face.
“Damn.”
“I know.”
”I mean, that was-”
“I know.”
We continued to stare at each other, both with matching smiles on our faces, until I dissolved into childish giggles.
“What?” Matt asked, unable to keep himself from laughing as well. “What?” He asked again, nudging my shoulder gently as I giggled. “I mean come on,” I continued to laugh, “That was crazy. Don’t you think it was crazy?” I looked at him, starting to feel the first hints of regret now that it was over and we had to go back to being friends. “I don’t think it was crazy.” He replied simply, before bringing his lips back to mine. This kiss was different than the other ones we shared tonight, though. There was no hunger, no lust. There was just love.
He pulled away after only a few moments, and I looked back at him with what I was sure was confusion all over my face. “I have never felt less crazy in my life than I’ve felt tonight.” Matt continued, and I felt my stomach flutter, “Tonight, everything finally feels right.” I felt a bashful smile form on my lips. I would be lying if I said I didn’t feel the exact same way. “So,” I started, unsure of how to maneuver this, “What now?” Matt got up.
“Well,” He began, grabbing his discarded t-shirt and using it to gently clean me up, “It’s late and you’ve had a long day, so I think we should get some sleep.” I propped myself up on my shoulders and watched as he began to clean himself next. “And then when we wake up tomorrow, we’ll go get some breakfast and talk about what we both want.” He walked into my adjacent bathroom and started the shower, the way he has done a thousand times before, before walking back to where I was and helping me off the bed.
Once I was on my feet, he placed another gentle kiss against my lips, and I felt my insides melt at the comfort of his touch. “But if I’m being completely honest, which you know I always am, I think we both already know we want the same thing.” I looked up at him through nervous eyelashes, and had to chew my bottom lip to stifle the massive smile that was threatening to take over my mouth. Matt had no problem showing his huge smile, and he tilted his head quizzically in my silence. “Am I right?” He asked, and instead of responding with words, I leaned up and placed a kiss of my own on his lips.
─ ⊹ ⊱ ☆ ⊰ ⊹ ─
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nymphomatique · 20 days ago
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special affair
dbf!miguel o’hara x fem!reader
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art credit: _insomniac_red_ on ig. pictures are for mood setting, reader has no specific race or physical descriptions.
cw: a lil angsty, this is just shameless smut im sorry guys i don’t know what came over me, daddy kink, dbf!miguel <3, unspecified age gap but reader is legal, rough sex, squirting, unprotected sex, miguel is not a good man, conflicted reader, creampie, lowkey breeding kink, degrading language, choking/breath play, face slapping, spitting, mentions of oral (m), overstimulation, crying/dacryphillia, pubic hair grinding? lmao idk, reader is alluded to being in sub space. not proofread lol. 18+ only.
wc: ~1.5k
❤︎ an: hi my loves!! this is a sorta part two to this drabble, but can be read as a stand alone one shot. tbh i wrote this w my pussy.. i’m ovulating rn i’m so ashamed of myself 😔 nevertheless, enjoy! if you guys want more don’t hesitate to lmk!!
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from that first night he fucked you from behind, you knew you strayed too far from the status quo in your life, you’re at the point of no return. that night, when he finished pounding you from behind and defiling you further with his seed all over your back and ass, you had laid in that position— spent and on your stomach- for the rest of the night, silently sobbing. you had betrayed your father, that much you were aware of the day you started rubbing at yourself meekly in the dead of the night thinking about his best friend.
you had long come to terms with that guilt, accepting whatever image of a burning inferno there is in the afterlife. what you cannot come to terms with, is the fact that he- miguel- had actually fucked you, indulged in what you considered your own taboo thoughts, ripping them from page and making your crude thoughts a sick reality. the worst part of this all is that amidst it all, the mental beratement, the nights you spent crying, the sick feeling the memories of miguel’s cock stretching you absolutely thin, showing you a climax like no other— you want to hate yourself for it, for being weak. for being such a bad girl. but you didn’t know why your body decided to betray your brain, the physical craving for the older man’s body possessing you whole. you can’t bear this feeling, holding it up inside you and trying to keep it at bay. fuck- you needed to talk to someone, you had to, even if it’s the last person you want to speak to.
nevertheless, you end up two houses down, sniffling and heaving in the dead of the night, knocking the door as hard as your trembling hands would let you. the door swings open and at the sight of him you keen, your body aching at the sight of the burly muscles covered in sun kissed skin. dark brown hair streaked with grey at the temples. a slight five o’clock shadow, he must not have shaved this morning. and then you look into those eyes, swallowing you up whole and you begin to tear up again. miguel is silent, leaning against the door with messy hair, glazed eyes and clad in boxers, and boxers only. fuck, you shouldn’t have come here.
“I-.. Miguel, it hurts,” you sob quietly, aflame with shame and embarrassment at how little resolve you had. He grabs your face with his warm hands and you’re trembling now, ready for him. your lips ghost for a moment before he breathes out. “i’m not a good man, sweetheart. if you don’t say no, i’m gonna break you.” he sounds sincere with his words and his eyes go stern. you wish you had some self of self control, or maybe having better discernment. but the only thing you say to him only confirms what you already knew about yourself; you’re a terrible fucking person. 
“violate me.”
your lips are smashed against each other, tongues dancing and it feels so good to be in his embrace again. your tears fall down your cheeks, meeting at the junction of your mouths in a pool of saliva. miguel groans and you know why, remembering what he had said to you the last time.
“i like when you cry.”
you’re grabbed up at the hips, legs wrapped around a thick torso, pressed up against a firm chest and a heavy cock. the moments up to the bedroom are cloudy, drunk off his lips against yours. you come to slightly when cold plush sheets hit your back and a pair of lips leave yours. you whine, yearning for his touch again. he looks down at you, bringing your right foot to his mouth, he licks lightly up the sole- kissing the ball of your foot before he leans down, caging your between his elbows, face to face.
“you gonna be good for your daddy?” he asks softly, kissing between the bridge of your nose once. 
“y-yes,” you breathe out with a slow nod. 
“mmm. gonna let me violate this tight little body too?” he asks, still soft in tone and you think you’re gonna go crazy by the end of the night. “yes, daddy,” you murmur, lost in his eyes. 
“sick fucking little girl. but that’s how i like it,” he chuckles, kissing you softly before getting up stripping you bare.
“letting your daddy undress you like a good girl. so obedient f’me,” he coos at you, touching you softly and you’re almost in tears. you need him. and you let it be known. a lone tear falls down your cheek and you mewl, “n-need you to make it better down there, daddy.”
his large hand engulfs you cheek, thumb wiping your tear softly before squishing your face, putting his tear stained thumb in your mouth. “you think you’re a big girl now, hmm? telling your daddy what to do?” you look up at him teary eyed, suckling his thick finger.
“you take what i give you, when i give it to you.” he squeezes you cheek a little harder before softly slapping your cheek and you squeak at the contact. a rough laugh leaves miguel’s mouth at your reaction. “you have no idea how bad i’m gonna treat you, baby.”
you’re non verbal at this point, mouth agape and leaking saliva down your jaw seeping into the sheets and the junction of your neck and chest. a hand slaps your cheek again, you’ve lost how many that is now. “i fucked you stupid already?” miguel laughs, hard thrusts sending you flying up the bed. his hands on your hips bring you down back to him each time, poking you right in that sweet spot in your pussy. you’ve lost count of how many orgasms you’ve head, body wracked and numb with pleasure. throat hoarse from the near-violent throat fuck he gave you.
a glob of spit hits your forehead and you groan a bit. the one thing you’re sure of is that you look a goddamned mess. a crude picture of the activity you’ve been partaking in for the past two hours. a hand leaves your hip to wrap around your neck and squeeze roughly, making you gasp for air, your body finally moving.
“there we go, got you moving now. thought i fucked you to sleep for a second.” 
your eyes are glossy, at the lack of air and building pressure. your hand meekly wraps around his wrist as he fucks into you. you know you shouldn’t like the way he toys with you like this, waking the line of torment and pleasure with no care in the world. but you do. and you can’t deny it anymore.
“you’re tightening up on me again. you gonna cum for me again?” miguel asks you, and he laughs after knowing you can’t even answer him. “sick little girl. you like it when i choke you? make you feel weak? worthless?” 
it’s barely audible, but the moan you let out vibrates in your neck and miguel can feel it with the hand pressed against your throat. he throws his head back with a groan. “nasty, naughty girl. fuck baby, gonna cum in that little pussy.”
you’re almost there, and quite frankly impressed that you haven’t fully passed out yet. your head feels light, and you begin to tremble violently, gushing out spurts of liquid as your head falls to the side. if this is hell, you’re not so sure you could give this up for heaven. your eyes close and you feel so close to falling asleep when he removes his hand from your neck, grabbing your head by the nape of your neck, craning you up to where you can see his thick cock slip and slide between your thighs. you groan at the image. 
“need you awake to see me cum in you, don’t i?” miguel groans. “you like watching me fuck you, like letting me dirty you.”
 his tuft of black pubic hair rubs against yours as his thrusts become increasingly sporadic and intense, and it has you trembling at the stimulation it gives your clit. you weakly squirt each time his pelvis brushes against your clit, your body letting you know you have only so much left in you before you’re drained empty.
“fuck, love it when you wet the bed. my pissy little girl. daddy loves the messes you make.” he’s nearly breathless and you pray he’s going to cum in the next minute, the ache in your neck and dull sensation in your pussy building slowly.
“c-cum in me. wanna give you a baby,” you moan, looking up from the fast thrusts and into miguel’s eyes. 
“fuck! so n-naughty, baby. gonna give me another one, huh? fucking take it, then.” with a final thrust, you feel the warmth of his cum shoot and blossom somewhere deep within you. you moan weakly, one final weak spurt of squirt coming out of you. miguel pulls out and you watch him look at the mess he made of you and your pussy, covered in spit, cum and the beginnings of handprint bruises blossoming on your hips and ass from how hard he gripped and spanked you. 
you can feel his cum slowly trickle out of you, and your body feels like it’s no longer your own. after so many orgasms, your limbs are on fire, and you can do nothing but breathe and weakly murmur a “d-daddy..” while your eyes close.
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tags: @realhotgirlshitah @obsessed-with-miguels-ass @maxiethestrange
message me to be removed!
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floylia · 4 months ago
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ELYSIAN ♫
18. Am I wrong? ✎
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“So my manager leaked my information.” It’s not a question anymore.
Scara nods apologetically as if he was at fault, eyes gleaming with genuine sincerity. This is the third time, he’s been vulnerable with you. He guides you up the cobblestone path, leading you closer to the Estate’s courtyard. The sun has already grazed its goodbye, only the moon rests above, gleaming at you and Scara. The darkness along the trees, shrubs, and boulders around the garden is eerie but something about his presence soothes your worries—something about his rare smile, hushed voice, and messy hair.
Perhaps it’s everything about him.
You pause in your tracks, watching over the waves on the beach—hands on the wooden fences standing around the courtyard, “Do you think they’ll believe me?”
“They’ll believe you once you tell your side.”
Doubt lingers, “What if they don’t?”
“Then they’re all fuck heads with no hobbies,” He swerves his head, now facing you with narrow eyes, and brows pulled together, “It’s stupid, how some of them graduated with degrees but have no basic sense of empathy or respect. They’re all entitled, gullible, and hypocritical assholes who use every opportunity to deflect their insecurities on others. It’s a crazy world we live in.”
The scowl on his face is almost laughable—how angry at the world he is on your behalf. You take note of Scara's wrath, experiencing it is not for the weak. Although, you don’t need to worry. His patience for you seems limitless.
“I can’t believe Jean lets you handle your social media accounts. You have no filter.”
He scoffs, “She doesn’t, but I find my way. They have to change the password every other week or else I might be permanently banned on every platform.”
You chuckle at his smug expression, “I want your confidence.”
“You already have it, you just need to use it.”
You avoid his gaze, “You sure do have a lot of faith in me.”
“Because I believe in you.”
For how long? You heard those same words before and they never kept their promises. Your agency, your manager. It was blind trust. Funny how life works.
“You blindly trusted me.”
You didn’t mean to say that. But it can’t be helped. What if one day you disappoint him? Will he leave too, like your manager? Or your fans?
“I knew you wouldn’t do that.”
No he didn’t. What did he know?
“There’s always a possibility—“
“But you didn’t and that’s what matters,” He sighs before running a hand through his hair, “Am I wrong for trusting you?”
You shake your head in guilt, realizing you let your doubts slip. Overthinking kills the mood, “It’s just that—“
“Am I wrong for wanting to be with you?” His voice softened.
You squint your eyes, unsure of what he means. You open your mouth to say something, anything to fill the silence, but nothing comes out.
So he inches forward, his left hand rests on your cheek, the other latches down to your waist, gentle and warm—you lean in to his touch, “Is it wrong to be this close?”
“No but—“
“For once please,” He sounds desperate, “Fuck what they think, focus on me and you. They can all go to hell.”
“So tell me: Is it wrong to need you at every moment?”
Once again you shake your head, this time with no interruptions.
“Is it wrong to be with you? To wake up every morning knowing I’m yours—knowing I can flirt shamelessly without doubting your feelings? Knowing I can write songs about you without hiding my love. Knowing I can feed you my favorite dishes without asking: am I doing too much? Or buy you things that remind me of you because not a single day goes by without your presence in my fucked up head.”
You feel tears welling up in your eyes. Everything is blurry but your gaze remains on Scara. Only him, because it has always been him.
“Am I wrong for feeling this way?” He whispers softly—so gentle that you want to apologize for trying to push him away.
You wrap your arms around his neck, “Kiss me.”
“Can I really?”
“Please.”
He does.
He does like his life depends on it.
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Notes:
im on vacation but nothing will stop me from writing 😃
sorry for grammatical errors or spelling mistakes
Synopsis: After 7 years of enduring the media’s relentless pursuit of painting you as a villain, you’re forced to go through an indefinite hiatus with a tainted reputation on your head. However, just when you thought your career was over, a certain 5WIRL member wants you to feature on his solo career. Surely, this won’t affect your reputation once more, would it?
Scaramouche x fem!reader
masterlist | previous | next
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Taglist (open!): @aruatsu @magicalink @featuredtofu @scarasbaby @veekoko @scaranthropy @the-ghost-0f-t0m0 @vernith @thystarsshine @lily-lmao @lovemari @mellowberrie @kunikuzushis-darling @skyoverkill1 @alatusorrow @kukikoooo @kyon-cherri @keiiqq @tzuw1ce @xiaossocksniffer @kaitfae @infinitetrashbag @lvnalxve @lovelypadisarah @ulquiorraswife @sketcheeee @atyour-kitchencounter @pirate-of-the-dark-seas @neiiuna @sn1perz @kazioli @inelenastyle @hearts4shu @wisheslost @Kazeyozuha @kazumiku @eutopiastar @chemiro @bananasquash @mujiwuji @danhenglovebot @cremesluv @boomie-123 @kookiibun @help-whatdoimakemyusername @vavrin @beaniedoodz @misterpoofin @justpeachyteastea @one-and-only-tay @peaceindreams @strxwberryfetish @shutingstar @projectsfantasy @quacking-simp @morgyyyyyyy @cante-lope @k-cris
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thecordelialetters · 2 months ago
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I’ll love you in every multiverse Pt. 2 I Five Hargreeves x Reader
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Post Apocalypse Au! WC: 1.8k Pt. 1 Pt.2 Pt.3 Pt.4
Summary: The Umbrella’s can understand jumping through time and all its rules, yeah fuck with the timeline and it’ll fuck you right back. But what happens when a portal opens up in the middle of the academy and outfalls a girl who claims to be Five’s wife from a different universe.
It had been four hours since you and Five arrived at the library. Piles and piles of books surrounded the two of you, none of which seemed to have the answers you needed. Equations were littered across the table and papers were strewn about. Five spoke up a few feet away from where you were sitting. "Im getting nowhere. I think we need to start from square one with my formula for time travel and superimpose that on the multiversal possibility." You looked at him ready to ask for a simpler explanation but when you saw his eyes focused on the paper ahead of him, you couldn't help but feel a throb in your chest. You missed your Five. The feel of his skin, the look of love in his eyes, the tone of his voice when he said he loved you. Five noticed your silence and looked up. "Are you okay?" You looked away blinking back tears. "Yeah I'm fine, let's just keep looking." But Five sensed you were no longer in the mood to research, so he got up and held his hand to you.
"Come on, staring at these pages too long will fry your brain, let's get some food." You grabbed his hand and savored the warmth it held. Each callous represented the number of missions he went through, though it was clean of the blood he shed it felt like home. If this was home, if this was before the fight, you and Five might be sitting together, not 5 feet apart, reading books. Perhaps the two of you would be in comfortable silence, your feet in his lap and his hand massaging your ankle every once in a while. Maybe he would look over, and you would glance back, peaking over the words of little women, one of your faves. Possibly he would put his book down and climb over to you . He would kiss your cheek, then your neck, and then settle in a comfortable spot beside you.
A cough from this universe's Five pulled you out of your reverie. The two of you ended up in a small Chinese takeout place that was decorated to the brim with gaudy oriental lanterns and curtains. It wasn't too busy, the noise mostly consisted of the cooking in the back and the occasional ring of the phone. Five brought over two containers, pork and white rice with steamed vegetables for himself and beef broccoli lo main for you. Surprisingly even this Five subconsciously knew what you wanted.
“How,” he looked uncomfortable, as if he didn’t know how to talk anymore. “How have you uh been so far?” He put a big spoonful of rice in his mouth as if it were to stop him from asking another bland question.
Awkwardly you looked to the side, “I’ve been fine, missing home, worried about how my husbands doing, worried how I'll be able to get back, if I could get back.” You paused for a second, pursing your lips at the thought. “Wondering what I’ll do if I can’t get back.”
The sentence brought tears to your eyes, as if saying it out loud only solidified the possibility of it.
Despite thinking you’d flinch back, Five hesitantly reached over to touch your hand. But you didn’t, it was an action he had done a million times over. "I will do everything I can to help you." His eyes held so much sincerity at that moment. Behind the relief you felt at that statement, you felt a question poke your subconscious. Maybe it was the fact that he was another version of your husband, but he looked so handsome and sweet in that moment, that you actually thought about leaning over to kiss him. Five looked at you deeply after promising to help you get home, but he wasn't sure if he even meant what he said. Some part of him enjoyed having you around. You already knew him and he was still shocked that in another world he was able to have you. The two of you finished up your food while making some small talk about your old life, and what his previous plans were. Walking back home was a comfortable silence, two hands occasionally brushed up against one another without the confidence to fully connect.
It was late when you arrived at the academy, a tired look adorning your face with sleepy yawns escaping your mouth. Five gingerly led you through the entrance to his room. He left you sitting on the bed and brought back an assortment of things. "I grabbed you a towel, toothbrush, and an extra set of pajamas. There is a bathroom right outside to your left and if you need anything I'll be sleeping in Vanya's old room." You peeked up at him through thick lashes, "Thanks Five." He closed the door and left the room to clean up for bed. As he was changing he imagined yourself helping him get ready, maybe playfully joking while the two of you brushed your teeth. What were you like in bed, not in that way, but how did you sleep? Did you cuddle him? Did you prefer to be big spoon or little spoon, did you snore? It was 2 hours and he was still imagining the life the two of you would have, did have. His wife. He had Delores and his family, but settling down with a real woman and being able to live a peaceful domestic life was something he thought was a farfetched dream in this world.
Meanwhile, as you got ready for bed you started to look around Five’s room. Everything from his childhood was here. He definitely had a knack for math seeing the equations everywhere and the toy trains on his dresser. You couldn’t imagine young Five being too different from older Five, probably a smart ass. Lifting the covers you slid into the bed engulfed by his scent. Closing your eyes you swore you felt a ghost of an arm reaching around you.
The lights from the window hitting your eyes woke you up. You laid under the covers relishing the warmth, your hand moved over to your left, a cold spot where Five would have been. Your heart yearned for him like crazy, and wondered what he was doing right now and if he was okay. Getting up you got ready for the day, brushed your teeth washed your face before digging through Allison's closet for more normal clothes. Deciding on a pair of jeans and a tank top you made your way down the stairs where you were greeted by Five accompanied by an all-American breakfast, bacon eggs, and toast. "There's some coffee in the pot, creamer in the fridge, and sugar here." He gestured to the counter with a cup in his hand. "Thank you Five, this smells delicious." You let your hair fall over your face to hide your smile. Sweet. That was sweet of him. "Where uh is everyone else?" You hadn't seen anyone at the estate since you arrived. "Im not sure they usually like to go off on their own." Short and sweet, Okay probably wouldn't be getting much help from them. You made yourself a cup and sat down at the counter across from him. He stood there staring at his notebook and occasionally sipped his drink. You probably stared at him longer than necessary because he looked up at you. Green eyes met brown until yours flickered away. "Sorry It's just, you," you paused to think of the right words. "You're him, I can't stop thinking about him."
It looked like Five was having an inner conflict before one side eventually won. He swiftly rounded the corner, face hovering just above your head. "I'm not him...but I hope this helps." He wrapped his arms around your body. Your nose buried in his shirt, the feel, the smell it was all so overwhelming. You brought your hands around him and clung back, eyes clenched so tight as if he would disappear the minute they opened. "Please don't go" you whispered. "I would never." He replied. An outsider, upon looking at the two, would never guess they were strangers. This was a lover's embrace. Surprisingly you were the first to let go while Five continued to squish you. Slowly he loosened his grip, but not before pressing a kiss to the crown of your head. "Do... Do you think I'll find her? My (y/n)?" He pulled away to look at you. You bite your lip, you didn't want to give him false hope nor want to crush him. "I don't know, there's no way to tell for sure. Maybe one day you'll cross paths. But know this." You grabbed his hand and put it over your wedding ring. "You'll make her the happiest girl in the world. And she will love you, all of you, for everything you are." It took everything in him to not kiss you, you weren't really his. The walk back to the library was quiet. Not a comfortable silence like before but there felt like there was an elephant in the room. The tension between the two of you was like a thick block of concrete. You pulled out 4 books from across the library and brought it over to the table the two of you sat at. "Here this one deals with multiversal theories, this one deals with the quantum realm, and this one is about space-time and math." The last book unbeknownst to Five was actually Viktor's memoir. You had seen it discarded in a "free book!" bin and was curious about what information it contained. While your study partner was busy with equations, you silently skimmed the book under the table. You read about the pain Reginald Hargreeves inflicted on the children, how Viktor felt like an outsider in his own home, how the children struggled with the lack of love at home, and the day Five jumped. There wasn't much about the actual day but what happened after, and Viktor's grief coming to terms with it. It was heartbreaking to read, even more so when you read about Ben's death.
Before you could read any further a cough snapped you out of your concentration. "So from what I gathered...we are going to need a lot of equipment. Now there's a lot of inheritance money left from my father but it's going to take a while." He grimaced, Five felt bad. He felt bad that you were probably suffering. “Don’t worry I’m going to help you, we’ll work day and night to get this thing going. It'll take having to use our powers and though, are you okay with that?” He knew that using your powers siphoned your life force and he didn’t want to risk that. “If that's what it'll take for me to get home then so be it.” You nodded comfortably. “I’ll try as much as I can to make sure you don’t use too much, but nothing's certain.”
He would make it certain. In the few days he'd spent with you, it wasn't hard to imagine eternity. No matter what he would make sure you could get home safely.
⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚ʚ♡ɞ˚‧。⋆⋆。‧˚
Author's note: I know I haven't posted in forever but I have like so many chapters in my draft sooooo... be on the look out for She's my angel as well ! She's my Angel Pt1. Shes my Angel Pt2.
Taglist : @cialovesklopp , @lovehatekill
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leonw4nter · 7 months ago
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Hi! I love your works sm and have a silly little idea.. Maybe planning and having a wedding with leon? Like im seeing you in your dress for the first time, choosing flowers, the rings, and having all of your friends/family at your wedding etc? Just little headcannons about it would be super cute!!!
DI!Leon Headcanons on planning + having a wedding…
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RE:DI!Leon x F!Reader
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Leon was supposed to propose to you during an out-of-the-country trip to Switzerland but unfortunately, he left the ring behind and had to secretly beat himself up over it. One beautiful evening, after you and him had just gotten home from the orchestra, he fished the tiny velvet box from his pocket and got down on one knee, too overcome by nerves to remember the speech he swore he memorized and too much in love to stall the question.
“You’re the last person I’d want to lose and the first person I’d think of growing old with. Y/N, will you marry me?”. In the end, he got the most unforgettable ‘yes’ he’s ever heard from you.
The wedding planning took 12 months, enough time to plan the wedding straight out of your dreams. He made sure to make the occasion magical, ensuring that the wedding is fit for a goddess amongst women (in his humble opinion). The wedding rings you and Leon agreed on were perfect, eager for the day that you two will finally have them on forever and ever, the rings facing wear and tears as you go gray and feeble with him.
Everyone saw your wedding dress before your wedding day– everyone but Leon. As soon as the large doors opened up and revealed you, Leon could no longer stop the tears flowing down his cheeks– you were so beautiful and breathtaking and it was as if veiled light itself was walking down the aisle. He was unable to keep his gaze to the front, head tilting to admire you every second. “You look so beautiful,” he excitedly whispered. “I can’t believe I’m marrying you.”
Since you and him agreed on a wedding color scheme of black, different shades of pink, and varying shades of warm white, the flowers you had for your bridal bouquet also followed that scheme, the flowers being cashmere anemones; white and baby pink tulips; vanda orchids; white limonium flowers, and white mink proteas. Everyone else also wore their dresses and suits in pinks and black; Chris opted for a sleek black turtleneck and blazer with a pink flower pinned to his breast pocket. Most of the women in attendance at your wedding opted to wear pink, with the men opting for black. Everyone was buzzing with excitement in their placements: Rebecca and Claire making joking bets that whoever cries first will pay up; Jill and Hunnigan were talking about how pretty you will look; Ethan and Chris were hyping Leon up since the groom was nervous but nevertheless excited; Piers and Carlos were talking about how good everything looks and how magical the air feels.
When the priest said “you may now kiss the bride”, Leon took a small step closer to you, gently lifting the veil that covered your face. He did everything slowly, as if he wanted to savor the moment and commit every single detail– the sparkle in your eyes, the music in the background, and how everyone and everything else seemed to be a blur of colors except for the glowing bride in front of him. As soon as he removed the veil from your face, he took a few moments to admire you and pepper you with sincere compliments. He placed his left hand on your waist while his right gently cupped your cheek, big hands handling you with so much caution as if you were made of porcelain. He leans in and presses the gentlest, softest, most tender kiss ever, a small spreading on his lips when it really sinks in that he finally gets to call you his wife.
You and Leon had your first dance somewhere private since you wanted it to be a moment only you and him will share so after the first dance, you and him walk back to the reception hand-in-hand with the brightest smiles. The ring looked amazing on both your hands and Leon couldn’t stop to admire your hand. “You’ve got a ring like mine too, you know,” you’d softly tell him. “I know. It looks better with you though,” he’d respond sweetly before kissing the back of your hand. For the bouquet toss, you decided to use an exact replica of your bouquet since you wanted to keep your flowers in your own home; Rebecca ended up catching your bouquet, much to everyone’s surprise. She happily swung it around, showing it off to everyone, before walking with a happy sway of her hips towards her boyfriend Billy, which made Billy chuckle before pressing a kiss to the crown of her head.
You and Leon left early, waving everyone good night and good bye as you got in the bridal car that would take you to the hotel you were going to stay in. Since Chris was sober and had already volunteered to drive you to the hotel, he also left the party early. As soon as you two were out of the reception, it was immediately all kisses and giggles and I love yous muttered. Chris had to look you two through the rear-view mirror and say “I’m still here. You’ve got a room for all that when we get there.”
Married life won’t be all smooth sailing and conflicts are unavoidable but in facing and resolving those conflicts together, you will discover just how strong your commitment to each other is.
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NOTE - TYSMM to the anon that requested this, I know I took long before I finally got to answer it but I hope it was worth the wait (despite this drabble being shorter than usual) <33 Currently craving ramyeon and mushrooms and seafood... naw but eating noodles late at night?? TOP TIER EXPERIENCE. Kinda stressing rn since one of my groupmates can't do their part on our research paper and it's getting on my last nerve BECAUSE I GAVE US SO MUCH TIME GIRLIE PLEASE 😭😭🙏🙏 Anyways, let's hope that I passed my entrance exams and the exams I took last week bc my grades cannot take another beating 🕯️TYSM for reading my fics, I <33333 UUUUUU !!!!!!!!
The hanging star divider is made by @benkeibear , the images are colored by me (sourced from Pinterest).
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daisyofwaterdeep · 3 months ago
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Could I request Accidental Confessions Part Two where Femcis Reader got the antidote for Rolan and both of them just sat down & talked properly to each other after he's no longer under influence of the love potion? With apologies & a happy ending!
I had already planned to write a second part but im using your ask as a vessel to post it ╰( ̄ω ̄)
~~~~~~ Read the first part here!
Accidental Confessions (Part 2)
Rolan/femcis!Reader
~~~~~~~
You stand in front of the portal, close enough that the swirling magical energy draws strands of your hair forward.
You desperately want to step forward. You desperately want to run away. You have no idea which one is the best choice.
It's been two days since the incident. You haven't seen Rolan since then, and he's all that's been on your mind. You keep replaying the last moment with him, pulled together but still deissheveled as you handed the vial of antidote to him. The way he sat on the stairs, hands shaking, head hanging, eyes never raising to meet yours. And the terse words he spoke as he snatched the bottle from you.
"Thanks. Now leave."
The words weren't angry or sorrowful or pained. They were cold, closed off. You had no choice but to obey.
Rolan knew. That was the only explanation. Everything that happened, everything you allowed to happen, that you encouraged to happen...Rolan knew that you had taken advantage of the situation, and now he hates you. As he should.
Gods, what's wrong with you?
You take in a deep, sobering breath and step into the portal. Your vision goes dark for a brief moment before melting away into the familiar scenery of Ramazith's tower. Your eyes immediately land on Rolan, his back towards a shelf but already turning as you step from the pull of the portal. Golden eyes land on you, curious at first but hardening as he realizes who his visitor is.
"I've been expecting you." Rolan blindly shelves the book he had been thumbing through and descends the stairs, straightening his robe before folding his hands behind his back pertly. "It's best we get this over with."
Having him come toward you makes you want to dive back through the portal but you stay your ground, even if your knees shake. You cast your eyes to the floor, fighting the urge to bunch your hands in your dress as the tips of his shoes come into the field of your vision before stopping.
"Go ahead. Say your piece," He says after a moment of silence, voice curt.
The lump in your throat is so large that you're not sure anything will come out when you open your mouth, but it does, even if your words are small and wavering.
"I'm... resigning from my position."
You can hear Rolan exhale softly but with your eyes on the ground, you can't quite decipher why. "Alright. I'll have your final pay ready by the end of the day."
A dark, greedy part of you recoils at that. Even after everything, there was still a delusional hope that he'd push back-- that he'd protest you leaving.
There's another small stretch of silence, and you watch Rolan's feet shift.
"Well, there's obviously more you need to say, so say it already."
There is more you need to say, but you're fighting for your life to keep tears from blurring your eyes and choking your throat. You've rehearsed this in your mind hundreds of times, thought of the best words to show your sincerity, pictured every sort of scenario...and everything is lined up perfectly. It's the absolute ideal set-up for you to apologize. But the enormity of your remorse is swallowing you, and the only thing you can think is 'don't cry, don't cry, don't cry'.
Rolan's feet shift again. You can't stand here forever, and you know it. So you take in a deep breath and manage out two pitiful words.
"I'm...sorry."
Despite your best efforts, your vision instantly swims and hot tears trail down your cheeks. Damnit.
"Wh-" Rolan sputters, goes silent, then starts again. "You're sorry?"
"I'm sorry," you say again, throat tight and voice high and wavering, "I didn't stop you...I could have stopped you, but I didn't." The tears are coming full force now, a hot tirade that makes your eyes feel puffy and swollen. "I'm s-sorry, Rolan." Your words are hiccuping, toeing the line of full sobbing, "I d-don't expect you to forgive me, just p-please--" As much as it hurts, you finally raise your gaze to meet his eyes. "Please d-don't hate me..."
Looking at him face-to-face makes you want to crumple to the floor and bawl. It looks as if he hasn't slept since the last time you saw him-- dark circles crescent under his eyes, his clothes are wrinkled, and his hair is loosely and hapharzardly pulled back. But more than that, he looks dumbfounded, like he's completely shocked that you're standing in front of him crying. It makes you feel even more pathetic, which only makes the tears continue.
"I don't--" Rolan reaches his hands out to you, thinks better of it, then retracts them to his chest, "I'd never hate you."
The earnestness in which he says it should make you feel better, but it does the opposite. By all rights, he should hate you-- who are you to stand here before him, blubbering and grovelling, when you're the one who took advantage of him? Resigning from your post was supposed to be a small penance from you to Rolan, but instead, he's comforting you. You're disgusted with yourself.
Your despair must be written on your face, because Rolan takes a step forward, his voice trembling around the edges as he speaks.
"Y-you know, I had assumed... that you were here to yell at me. To tell me what a horrible man I am." Rolan lets out a short, nervous laugh, "I was fully prepared to take a punch or two."
He thought that you were mad at him? The thought is so absurd that you find your tears stopping as you stare at him, surely mirroring his dumbfounded expression from earlier.
"You'd have every right to, you know." Rolan continues, his jaw tightening as he straightens his arms by his sides, "To think I'm terrible. To hate me, even. Because what I did to you..."
"It wasn't your fault," You cut him off with a croak, wiping at your eyes with your sleeves, "You weren't yourself. But me, th-there was nothing controlling me...It was my responsibility, b-but I--"
"Stop." Rolan's voice raises, anger lighting his eyes, "Stop trying to take the blame for this. You are not the one at fault here!" He stares hard at you for a few moments before his shoulders slump and the tension in his face melts away, leaving him looking tired and small. Vulnerable, even. And his voice falls too, nothing more than a whisper. "There were times of clarity...times where I could have fought against it. If I had tried harder, I could have stopped a dozen times over. But there was a part of me, a part not influenced by the potion, that didn't want to fight it." A thread of anger edges it's way back to his words, but now you understand that it's edge isn't pointed at you. "So yes, it is my fault. I'm a terrible...horrible man."
You don't know what the right thing to do is-- in such an unprecedented situation, you're not sure if there even is a 'right thing'. But seeing Rolan standing before you, askew in both looks and mind, there's only one thing you can fathom doing, damned if it's wrong or right.
Rolan stiffens as you rush forward and throw your arms around him. Your heart hammers fast and loud in your ears and you feel breathless at your own bold action that seemed to come out of nowhere, but there's no way in the nine hells that you're going to let go.
"You're not horrible," You say against his chest, voice tight and runny as your tears begin anew, "N-not in the slightest. So don't s-say such things."
Rolan's body trembles in your embrace and you worry that he might try to push you away. After a few long seconds, though, he wraps his arms around you and returns the hug.
"I'm sorry," Rolan squeezes you tight as he says it, and you wonder if it has to do with how watery his voice sounds, "For putting you through that...f-for hurting you."
The vulnerability of it all makes is terrifying, but it's also liberating. A moment of pain and sorrow shared between the two of you--it's a feeling more intimate than sex.
"I wanted it." The confession falls from your lips without a thought, and you know that you've crossed a boundary that you'll never be able to return from, for better or worse. "I wanted to hear those things from you. To have you touch me...I wanted all of it."
Rolan lets out a choked noise above you and you feel his chest hitch. "D-don't lie to me."
"I'm not." You hold him tighter, as if trying to still your trembling muscles. "Having you need me in such a way, even if it was fake...I was happy."
You can feel every inch of the shiver that runs through Rolan's body. His chin touches the side of your forehead in something close to a cuddle as the hands on your back slide down, nearly cradling your hips.
"If you're being honest...I'd like to say something." You can hear Rolan swallow thickly before continuing, voice hushed and hesitant, "But please, you musn't think any less of me."
You try to pull away, wanting to see his face as he speaks, but the fingers on your waist dig in, as if begging you to stay in place. Curious, nervous, you comply.
"I'd never think less of you."
Rolan heaves in a deep breath and lets it out slowly, the warmth of it tickling the top of your ear. "I..." He starts his sentence, stops, then starts again. "The potion. I took it."
"Took it?" You were determined to stay silent and let him say his piece, but your confusion gets the better of you.
"I drank it." You feel Rolan's body tense as he inhales sharply again, letting the rest of his words fall out on his exhale, "I knew you'd be coming, and I wanted to-- it was only a small sip, I thought it would give me a push, just enough to be honest, confident--to say the things I was too cowardly to say. But it was potent, far more potent than I had realized--"
You can't think, can't breathe. A blanket of surrealness falls over you, making everything around you feel padded and dreamlike. Because this must be a dream, right? Your tired mind has supplied this sweet little scenario for you, has tailored it to your wildest imagination.
But the shaking man in your arms isn't a dream, as much as it seems. The hurried, scared breaths puffing against your hair are real, as are the hands, anxiously holding you tight. If those things are real, then the words Rolan has said...the confession he has laid at your feet must be real as well.
The courage it took for him to admit to such a thing seems to seep into you, and you find yourself pulling your head back, forcing him to finally confront you. His eyes are glassy and drying tear streaks shine against the hollows of his cheeks. He looks devastated, terrified-- and more beautiful than you've ever seen him.
This is Rolan. Not your crush. Not the wizard. Not the older brother. Not the owner of Ramazith's Tower. This is him, stripped bare, beyond titles and prestige and pomp. This is Rolan, raw and true and baring himself to you.
You kiss him. It's a stark contrast to the kiss shared just days before-- it's clumsy, nervous, hesitant. But that's what makes it so grand. The insecurities that Rolan had tried to hide behind a potion are all there, beneath your lips, your fingers. Every brush and breath sings of honesty, of a flourishing love that threatens to build into something momentous-- of the terror such a thing could bring. The enormity of the unknown.
But as Rolan's hands relax on your hips, as his lips part and soften on your own, you know that he's offering you a chance to explore that unknown together.
And you couldn't be happier.
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rkvriki · 2 years ago
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— their little acts of love !
hello everyone ! new post here ! this was one supposed to be titled their ways to say i love you but i thought this was more suitable don't you think ?
make sure to leave feedback. my asks are open and so is my inbox so let's talk !
WARNINGS ! mentions of crying and being sad, cliché stuff, might contain grammar errors. a/n: i got this idea from a pinterest post of 100 ways to say i love you, if you want i can send it to you !
word count: 1.4k
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LEE HEESEUNG !
— “tell me more”
one of the things heeseung loved to do was hear you talking.
you could be saying complete nonsense, he still loved listening to your voice.
he especially loved when you were talking about something you loved or made you happy.
you and him were dating for a few weeks only so you still had a lot to know a lot about each other.
you were at you house sitting on you couch in the living room just talking, when you suddenly started talking about your hobbies.
to be honest, you were just rambling, but heeseung was listening to every word that was coming out of your mouth, until you started slowing off your words. 
“i’m sorry im just rambling now.” you said kinda embarrassed about how much you were talking.
“no keep going, i love listening to you. tell me more about it, please.” he said smiling at you encouraging you to go off about what you were talking about earlier. 
you smiled at him and picked up where you left off, heeseung was willing to listen to you for hours and hours.
PARK JONGSEONG !
— “let’s go on a walk”
jay knew how to make you feel better under any circumstances, he never failed to get you to feel even just a bit better.
you had a terrible day at college/work and you just wanted to get home and plop down on your bed and sleep away the tight feeling on your chest.
you got home and went straight to your room and as soon as you laid down, your phone vibrated with a notification.
jay was texting, asking about your day and you just told him your honest feelings. him being the good boyfriend he is, knew how to make you get better and offered to go on a walk with you, knowing how much they made you feel relaxed and refreshed.
so here you were with jay walking along the nearby park and stopping to seat on one of the benches.
you leaned your head on jay’s shoulder and he wrapped his arms around you, the tears you were holding in started coming out as you let out little sniffles.
jay’s hand was rubbing you back comfortingly as he whispered sweet nothings until you calmed down.
“thank you.” you told him sincerely.
“there’s no need to thank me, it’s the least i should do for you.” he said as he kissed the crown of you head.
SIM JAEYUN !
— “you look so beautiful”
to me this one just screams jake.
you’re basically his favorite person and the one he trusts the most in the whole world.
you were both lying in your bed. jake had a free day from his busy schedule and decided to visit and spend time with you.
jake and you were laughing at something he had said. you were both laughing so hard your stomachs were hurting so much you had to hold them.
jake looked at you and swore he never thought you could look as pretty as you did at this moment. you were laughing without a care, with your messy hair and messy clothes, that consisted of an old t-shirt that already had rips and one of his sweatpants, and you looked so happy and pretty while doing so.
you eventually stopped laughing and jake saw jake staring at you.
“what? don’t tell me there’s something on my teeth!” you said rushing to grab your phone and check your teeth. jake laughed and shaked his head while grabbing your hands.
“ no, silly. you just look so beautiful right now, i couldn’t help but stare.” he said smiling and scanning your features.
you blushed and looked away, trying to say something but you were stuttering over your words.
jake just laughed and hugged you, making you smile to yourself.
PARK SUNGHOON !
— “are you warm enough?”
i think sunghoon tried to act nonchalant when it comes to shows of affection but in the he is melting on the inside.
you were both on a date. it was winter and winters in seoul can be really cold, so you should have known better and warm up a little more.
sunghoon had talked about this new restaurant that opened up and he took you there.
after having dinner you two went on a little walk just to enjoy the night a little more. 
the cold was finally getting to you and you started feeling you started feeling yourself getting chills on your arms, so you rubbed your hands on them in hopes to warm up a little.
sunghoon noticed this from the side of his eye and started taking off his own coat, wrapping it around your body that looked small with the huge piece of clothing now covering it.
you were about to say something but sunghoon beat you to eat.
“don’t even try to refuse, are you warm enough?”
“yeah, hoon. thank you.”
he just smiled at himself as you two kept walking.
KIM SUNOO !
— “don’t stay up too late”
it was finals season and you were studying like crazy and you were barely answering to sunoo’s texts but still made an effort to stay tuned with him.
sunoo worried about you a lot whenever you were too hard on yourself and he always made sure to text you little reminders to take care of yourself.
he knew you had no limit when it came to study for your exams, always doubting your study was never enough and so you had the tendency to stay up to early morning hours to study.
your phone was buzzing with notifications, distracting you from your stack of papers with things scribbled.
sunoo was texting you and your heart always melted whenever he texted something like what he did.
“don’t be too hard on yourself.”
“you can do it! you got this, i trust you!!”
“ps. don’t stay up until late, you need to rest.”
“i love you.”
you were smiling like a fool at your phone as you replied back.
he was your #1 supporter.
YANG JUNGWON !
— “you’ve been on my mind”
jungwon hated it when he had to be away from you for a long time.
it was one of those times now and he was hating every second of it. 
he and the members were all sat in the couches of the dressing rooms, they were all chatting about random things, but he wasn’t paying any attention to what any of them were saying.
he only had one thing on his mind, that being you.
he missed you a ton and you were having a hard time communicating from the different time zones.
jungwon sighed, closing his eyes and leaning his head back on the couch.
he got up and decided to go somewhere alone, taking his phone along with him.
he opened his texts app, automatically clicking your contacts name.
“it’s been hard without you.”
“can’t wait to be back.”
“you’ve been on my mind. more than i’d like to admit.”
he turned off his phone and just stared at a window that was in front of him, until his phone buzzed.
“miss you too wonnie:(“
“so much that i even bought a ticket to see you :)”
jungwon swore he could cry reading your text, feeling happier than ever.
NISHIMURA RIKI !
— “this song reminded me of you”
niki loves songs with a deep meaning.
he always searches for the lyrics and the meaning when he listens to one he likes a lot.
he loves when a song can affect his mood and what he’s feeling.
something he loves even more is when a song reminds him of you. he literally smiled while listening to that song. 
it doesn’t need to be the lyrics reminding him of you, sometimes it’s the melody or even the way it’s sung. there’s always something that reminds him of you and he makes sure you know it.
everyday niki sends you a link with a song along with something like.
“this song reminds me of you.”
“reminds me of when we went to the park the other day.”
“reminds me of the way you laugh when you’re excited.”
“reminds me of when we first met.”
it’s honestly so cute and makes your heart beat so fast in your chest.
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vvmylove · 1 year ago
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Giving You All My Love
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TW: Insecurities? 
Soft jake soft jake soft jake x reader- im a SUCKER!!!!
It was currently 10:02 pm. Y/N had been mindlessly walking around her shared apartment with Jake. She had expected him to come home anytime now. While her thoughts started to run, she had not noticed the door slightly creaking as Jake walked in. 
He had been in another violent fight. Of course, as the leader of Big Deal, he had the burden responsibility of making sure none of his other members were hurt. He had the responsibility of fighting off any danger or threats. 
Today had been one of those days, a few gang members had decided to attack big deal. Jake had come to the rescue, but it came with a price every single damn time.
Y/N had finally noticed his presence, immediately running up to greet him. She stands in front of him, placing her hands gently on his face, caressing it carefully. She looks lovingly into his eyes, filled with comfort and concern. "Jake..." she says softly, rubbing the back of her hand on his cheek. She could sense that something was bothering him. At first she doesn't say anything, but Jake could tell that she was worried about him. He tried to shake his thoughts off, to keep up his strong image in front of her. 
“Its nothing babe, don’t worry about it,” he says, shaking her hands off him as he struts over to the couch. He spreads himself across the couch, laying on his side. Y/N follows along, kneeling down in front of the couch so that she could face him. She was stubborn; she wasn’t going to ignore all of this. Her start dropped a little as her eyes trail down his body, seeing the new scars forming along his collarbone, down his arm. His body littered in bruises, larger bruises blossoming across the back of his arms. 
Jake had closed his eyes, trying to ignore Y/N’s presence. It's not that he was upset with her, it was just that he was insecure. It hurt him to see the ache in her eyes every time he came back with fresh wounds. 
Y/N felt an argument rising within her. She wanted to yell at him, tell him to quit fighting, to stop his childish acts. She takes a deep breath in, placing her hand on his cheek once again. She knew it was unusual for him to ignore her like that. Usually, she would tend to his wounds, his scars, placing a gentle kiss on every new forming bruise. 
“Jake, what's going on?” she asks him, using her thumb to stroke his cheek. She leans forward, planting a small kiss on his nose. That was all it took for him to break down. Y/N knew him well enough. Jake couldn’t keep up the bold image anymore, as his eyes fluttered open. Tears started to trickle down his face. “Im such a horrible boyfriend,” he whines, quickly bringing his hands up to his face. He sits up properly, leaning back against the couch. “No no,” Y/N says, her heart shattered at those words. “No you're not Jake. You mean the world to me,” she tells him sincerely as she gets up from the floor. She places herself right next to him, wrapping her arms around him, placing his head on the crook of her neck. Y/N’s fingers start to comb his hair, in an attempt to soothe him. 
Jake leans into her touch, wrapping his arms around her too. Y/N tightens her arms around him, continuing to embrace him. The tears welling up in his eyes spill, turning into sobs and then slowly into small sniffles. They stay there for a few moments in silence, until Jake spoke, “I’ve been thinking about this all day and-” he sniffles, “I want to spend more time with you. I know i’ve been busy and i'm sorry I haven't given you my full att-” 
Isn’t he just the sweetest? Y/N cuts him off as she pulls his head back a little. She furrows her brows a little, swiftly moving her head so that her lips would crash onto his. She closes her eyes, moving her lips slowly against his, as if to appreciate every single second of it.  Jake had replicated. He couldn’t finish his sentence, forgetting what he was even thinking about as he melts into the kiss. One of his hands moved up to her neck, bringing her closer to deepen the kiss. He could live in this moment forever.
Y/N’s hands start to rub small circles into his back, humming in contentment. “I love you,” she mutters into his lips. Even though Jake had been busy, she knew there was no use in wasting time to dwell on such matters. Every second that she gets to spend with Jake, she is grateful for, no matter how long or short.
“I love you too,” Jake says lowly as he pulls back a little. He opens his eyes to look at her, taking in the features in her face. Oh how lucky he was to have such a girl in his arms. ----
I finally posted HHAHAH
jake is so fine
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carliim · 1 year ago
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The Fourth | Jeremiah x Fem!Reader
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summary: its the Fourth of July and Jeremiah sees you watching the fireworks with Conrad, he's loved you for as long as he can remember, how is he going to react? is he going to see the situation different than it really is? (belly basically doesn't exist and youre in place of her)
request: yes/no (that was really fast lol)
word count: 1k
warnings: hurt/comfort, angst, fluff, and that's all I can think of!
(not proofread and I wrote this late, ill fix errors later :))
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Jeremiah's pov:
it was the fourth of July night at cousins beach. we had all spent most of the day down at the beach playing drinking games and eating a bunch of food. and all I could do the whole time was watch y/n. only mom knows but I have loved her basically since I was twelve... I stayed home with her for a week while she was sick and I took care of her, and when I got sick two days later she took care of me. I've always seen her as beautiful. even way before this summer. but guess who also did. Conrad. I wouldn't be surprised if she ended up going for Conrad rather than me. I mean yeah he's older, taller, mysterious, but he would never truly care for her as much as I do. Conrad likes the idea of someone needing him and wanting him so he will take that to his advantage until he no longer needs it and then he will push them away, and im not letting that happen to y/n. I can take care of her.
y/n's pov:
I was standing down at the dock watching the fireworks out in the distance smiling to myself at how great of a day I had. I couldn't help but smile when thinking back to every time I caught Jeremiah glancing over at me. he's always been the flirtatious type but recently he's been seeming more sincere about it. that's why I think ill always pick jer. he's taken care of me since we were twelve. all the way back to when he stayed home with me when I was sick. I've loved him ever since and have always promised myself to look after him.
I noticed a figure walk up next to me.
"oh! hey Conrad" I smiled in his direction before looking back to the fireworks
"hey y/n/n" he said slightly monotone that made me look back at him
"Is everything alright?" I turned my body to face him completely and tilted my head to get a better look at him
"um, yeah yeah. I just have something ive been meaning to talk to you about."
"what's up?" I look at him slightly concerned
he looks at me for a few moments, seemingly nervous. instead of speaking he only moves closer to me, taking one of my hands in his. I shift uncomfortably, not liking where it's seeming to be going.
don't get me wrong I love Conrad. but I have and will always see him as a brother. my heart belongs to someone else.
before Conrad could get any closer, a firework flies right by the both of us causing me and Conrad to jump.
"um, I uh, I think im going to head back inside. I think im going to call it a night. goodnight Conrad." I start heading back up to the house quickly, wanting to get out of the situation.
"right, um, goodnight y/n" he clears his throat, glancing back down at the ground before turning back.
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once I got back inside I walked upstairs and headed to my bedroom, I walked in the door but stopped and walked towards jers room. I wanted to make sure to say goodnight to him before heading to sleep, and see if he had as good of a day as I did.
"knock knock, its me" I opened the door and peeped a head inside. the lights were off but her was sitting on his bed facing the opposite direction. "I wanted to see how your day was, I had a lot of fun hanging with all of you and I- jer? are you listening?" I walked over and sat next to him, moving his chin so he was looking at me.
"why him y/n" jer said with a tear stained face.
"woah woah jer why are you crying? what are you talking about?" I turned to face him fully and took one of his hands in mine.
"Conrad." he scoffed. "I seriously should've known that it would end up being him. I saw you both down at the dock together" he let another tear fall as he looked me dead in the eyes with so much hurt.
"no no no jer you're seeing this all wrong. I didn't know what was going down back there. I was just watching the fireworks and he came up to me like that. if im being honest I think he had one too many drinks tonight and didn't even know what he was doing himself." I gave him a sympathetic smile as I rubbed his hand softly
" so you didn't kiss him?" he asked as his gaze softened "and you didn't want to kiss him?"
I laughed and placed a hand on his cheek "jer. no I didn't want to kiss him and I definitely didn't. im honestly glad that definite accidental firework went off. "
"yeah uh that's my bad." he glanced down tugging a smile grin
"I thought so.." I smile softly "look, jer. you are honestly one of the sweetest, and most caring people I have ever met in my entire life. since day one. you have always been the one to look out for me and take care of me. no matter the situation you were the one the came to my rescue. I was drunk? you were the dd. I was sick? you took care of me. I was crying over something dumb? you were my shoulder to cry on. someones messing with me? you'd beat them up in a heartbeat. I can go on and on. jer. it's always always been you and I don't know have you haven't seen that. I wouldn't choose anyone else but you." before I could let him get a work out of his mouth I cupped his cheeks and pressed my lips onto his in a soft kiss. his eyes widened in shock before he melted into it, bringing his hands to hold my waist. i pulled away slowly after a few moments and smiled at him.
"will you stay with me tonight" he asked as he rubbed my sides softly
"of course jer." I smiled and laid down with him, my head resting on his chest and his arms wrapped around me holding me close.
"my moms gonna flip when I tell her about this."
"nah honestly I think she sees everything coming." i look up at him. "and probably this too, we both go to her about everything." we both laughed and not long after fell asleep. gosh this is going to be the best summer yet.
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pls pls like and reblog!! 🫶🏼
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urmomschocolatemilk · 1 year ago
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part 2 to the break up angst. not even asking, bae i need it 😡
Simon Riley x reader
Part 1
A happy ending bc im feeling generous 😘
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You wake up to warmth streaming through the open window, the quiet hum of the fan in the background. As your eyes flutter open theres a single moment of pure peace, where your mind is blank and the only thing your concerned with is the comfort of your bedsheets and pillows. That only lasts a moment though, and the events of the night before come flooding back to you.  
You remember calling Simon in tears, you remember the sound of his voice ruff voiceas he’d let himself in and got in bed with you, cooing sweet nothings into your ear as you sobbed into his chest. You remember the feel of his arms wrapped around you and the warmth he brought to you that you’d missed so much.  
You turned over, part of you expected to see him, the other part of you knew he was probably gone. The other side of the bed was empty, as expected, and you huffed, partly in frustration, and partly in hurt. You pushed yourself up with a groan, throwing off the covers and walking towards your door. As you neared you could hear some shuffling in the kitchen. You frowned  
He had left, hadn't he? So, who was out there? You pulled the door to your bedroom open, walking into the merged living and kitchen space. As you turned you spotted him behind the island, his tall broad frame working on something infront of the stove. It smelled amazing. 
“Simon?” You questioned, walking closer, he looked up with a hum. “I thought you’d left...” you tell him confused. 
“I didn’t want you to wake up to an empty house...” he responded in a gruff voice, focusing back on the eggs he was cooking. You took a seat at the island and he turned his back to you, opening the microwave door and taking out a warm plate. His back muscles flexed a bit as he moved, and you blushed lightly, averting your gaze down to the counter top. He slid you the plate, placing a fork next to it.  
“Thanks,” you mumbled, starting to dig in. There was an awkward tension between the two of you as he finished cooking his breakfast and plated it. You knew you had to talk about it, but you didn’t want to be the one to start...confrontation was more of Simons style anyway.  
“Are we going to talk about it?” he asked quietly, pushing around the food on his plate. You stay quiet, and he looks at you, waiting for your answer.  
“Depends on what you’re going to say,” you respond after a moment, your volume matching his. He grunts, pursing his lips.  
“I still think it was the right thing to do,” he states, and you raise your eyebrows, but don’t respond. You don’t understand how he can even see that; did he not see how much he broke you? “But,” he starts, his voice softening “I miss you.”  
“I thought you were the one Simon...I-I was ready to marry you,” you suck in a sharp breath, “you broke my heart Simon,” you whisper to him. He slides his hand over the counter, taking yours.  
“I know...and I regret it so much. If I could take it all back I would,” he tells you sincerely. Finally, you look up from your plate.  
“But you can't,” it’s a fact 
“I’ll do anything – everything – to make it up to you.” His eyes searching yours as he pleads with you. He’s never like this, and you almost feel like you’re talking to a whole other person. You bite your lip, contemplating, and the silence is to quiet as he waits for your answer.  
After what feels like an eternity, you finally speak up, “Okay...” you whisper “Okay.” He comes around the counter, taking your face in his hands and kissing you deeply, pouring all the love and adoration in the world into the gesture.  
“Thank you,” he whispers, pulling away and pressing a soft kiss to your head. You just nod wordlessly, pressing your head against his chest and wrapping your arms around him as he pulls you close.  
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naomijoestar · 30 days ago
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⋆.ೃ JJBA SCENARIOS ࿔*:・
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genre: fluff, romance
warnings: none
characters: speedwagon
notes: i saw an edit on tiktok about speedwagon with that sound that goes “everybody’s falling in love and im falling behind” and i was on the verge of tears, so i decided to write a romantic scenario for my baby <3:(
Speedwagon one-shot
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It’s one of those perfect, crisp autumn afternoons where the air smells of fallen leaves and the sunlight filters through the trees in golden streaks. Speedwagon had suggested a stroll through a quieter part of town, something unusual for him given his typically busy, action-packed life. You agreed, sensing there was something different about him today. His usual swagger was still there, but beneath it, a softness lingered in his gaze, like he was holding back something important.
As you walk through the park, Speedwagon is unusually silent. The crunch of leaves underfoot and the distant chatter of birds fill the air, but he doesn’t seem to notice. Every once in a while, he glances at you, quickly looking away when your eyes meet, an uncharacteristic shyness creeping into his demeanor. You ask if everything’s okay, but he just gives you a crooked smile and tells you not to worry.
Eventually, you find yourselves standing at a hilltop overlooking the park. The view is breathtaking—the trees below bathed in hues of red, orange, and gold, and the horizon painted with the soft colors of a sunset. Speedwagon stops walking, pulling you gently to face him. His hands are warm as they slip into yours, the roughness of his palms contrasting the tenderness in his touch.
“I’ve been thinking,” he begins, his voice uncharacteristically hesitant, “about a lot of things lately. About us.” He pauses, as if gathering the courage to continue, his eyes searching yours for reassurance. “I’m not the kind of guy who usually gets moments like this, y’know? Not with everything I’ve been through, everything I’ve done. But you…” He trails off, shaking his head with a small, self-deprecating laugh. “You make me want to believe I deserve more than just scraping by.”
You open your mouth to respond, but he holds up a hand, wanting to finish his thought. “I don’t know how to say this right, but what I’m trying to get at is… you’re different. You make everything feel different. Better. Like, when I’m with you, the world doesn’t seem so damn heavy.” His thumb brushes over your knuckles, a small gesture that sends warmth spreading through your chest.
Speedwagon’s normally sharp eyes soften as he looks at you, the sincerity in his expression melting away the usual mask of bravado. “I’m not good at this,” he says, his voice rough but full of feeling. “But I want you to know… I care about you. More than I’ve cared about anyone in a long time. You’re not just someone I want to protect or someone I like being around. You’re… everything.”
The sun dips lower behind the trees, casting a soft, amber light around you both, the moment feeling almost magical. Speedwagon lets out a deep breath, like a weight has been lifted from him, and he steps closer, his body now only inches from yours. “I ain’t got much to offer in this world, but I can promise you one thing—if you’ll have me, I’ll make sure you never have to face anything alone.”
His words linger in the air as his hands cup your face gently, his thumbs brushing over your cheeks with an intimacy that sends shivers down your spine. Slowly, he leans in, his forehead resting against yours, his breath warm against your lips. The closeness is electric, yet tender, and for a moment, time seems to stop as the world fades away, leaving just the two of you under the autumn sky.
“I’ve never been good at saying what I feel,” he murmurs softly, his lips inches from yours, “but I think actions speak louder than words, don’t they?”
And with that, he closes the distance, his lips meeting yours in a kiss that is both sweet and filled with all the emotions he’s been holding back. His arms wrap around you, pulling you close, and the kiss deepens, filled with a quiet promise of love, protection, and devotion. As the sun sets completely, painting the sky in shades of violet and gold, you stand there together, wrapped in each other, knowing this moment will be one you both cherish forever.
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hanilessa · 1 year ago
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HANI IM HERE NOW IM GONNA NEED YOU TO PICTURE THIS.
childe x reader friends to lovers okay, like they were in the same group of friends except when they breakup (for some reason) reader distances themselves from the friends group and in the end, reader isn’t even in contact w them anymore THEN ONE DAY!! they all decide to text in the old gc to suggest a meeting and reader accepts BUT reader being in a new relationship asks if they can bring their new bf!! old friends say yes cuz childe been acting like a jerk who moved on ect flirting here and there
BUT IN THE END WHEN READER FINALLY ARRIVES, HA D IN HAND W NEW BF AND CHILDE SEES IT HE GETS SUPER JEALOUS. cause he should be the one holding your hand duh 🙄 and he’s so mad bc, apart from greetings u did not talk but he sees u smile and laugh to the others so why not him?? and he’s all friendly with your new bf (despite his internal rage against him) thinking perhaps you’ll notice it but you act like you don’t care and it’s driving him INSANE,,
in the end he can’t stop looking at you and he thinks no one sees it but well the tension whenever he talks to you is too big for people around you to not notice
WHAT IF BF HAS TO LEAVE BEFORE THE END OF THE NIGHT AND CHILDE IS THE ONE TAKING YOU HOME AND HE WANTS TO KISS YOU SOOOO BAD
holy shit that was long, made myself want to write a whole ass fic for this AAAA
` Author’s notes: OMG DANI I LIKE YOUR IDEA SM KDJFGJDGKDJF!! i hope you don't mind me making ayato our new boyfriend. BECAUSE WHEN I THINK OF WHO WOULD BE CHILDE'S OPPONENT IN ALL ASPECTS, I ALWAYS THINK ABOUT AYATO. (AND IT'S NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE BOTH HYDRO DPS)
baby i'll make childe suffer here soooo bad for us, don't worry >:) i hope you like it, darling! ♡
it hurts me sm that i treated ayato so cruelly. he really loved us here TT
also my inbox is open for your requests! feel free to text me if you want to request headcanons. :3
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» :、♡  NEVER STOP LOVE ME
` Childe x Fem!Reader
` Genre: exes to lovers, romance, angst
` WC: 2.5K
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"Damn it." You thought as you took a sip of refreshing soda. Today you didn't plan to drink alcohol, but your old friends whom you hadn't seen for a long time very strongly suggested that you leave your dislike for alcohol and drink with them for your common reunion.
You were very happy to meet your friends again, but your thoughts were clouded by the fact that your ex boyfriend Childe was also present here, as he was part of your group of friends. You didn't have the good breakup with him.
The day he told you that he was going to study abroad, your heart was broken into pieces. Before your eyes all the plans that you both made for two ran through at a fast pace. They collapsed as quickly as tears came to your eyes.
You told him that you could leave everything you have in your hometown and leave with him, but when Tartaglia told you that there was no need for that, it was all over for you.
He so quickly broke everything that was between you two for a long time, like a glass slipper. He trampled on your and his feelings, your common plans with his foot as if it were some kind of trash.
That day, you and he broke up on a bad note. You suffered for a long time, sincerely keeping all the memories that you shared with him deep in your heart for a very long time. But you soon realized that you couldn't suffer all your life and that you had to move on no matter what. And after a while, you met Ayato.
He was absolutely adorable when he helped you with your shopping bags. You didn't notice how you and he started see each other every day, after that you realized that you fell in love with him.
Ayato reciprocated your feelings, and soon the two of you became a couple. It helped heal the wounds that Childe left in your heart. You completely forgot about your ex boyfriend, finding a new love for yourself, with which you wanted to go further into the future.
Exactly until the moment when today you and Ajax met again at an old friends' party.
You were absolutely happy when you received a message from your best friend Hu Tao, who wrote a message in friends chat. She invited you and all your friends to a party at her house.
You and your friends didn't see each other for a very long time after you broke up with Childe, and you thought it would be a good opportunity to meet them. And introduce them to your new boyfriend because you wished that all the people you loved could be friends. What you definitely didn't expect was that Ajax would be at this party.
Your heart sank painfully when you saw him in front of you after you and Ayato entered Hu Tao's house. Tartaglia was also surprised at first, not knowing what to say at that moment. When the silence between the two of you reached its limit, you took a deep breath and smiled awkwardly as you said.
"Hello."
Childe felt his heart skip a beat as he heard your soft voice again. Right now, looking at your hand, which was in the hand of another man, he clearly realized that he was the biggest jerk in this world.
And that only he was to blame for the situation in which you both were right now. Perhaps if both of you didn't break up, now he would hold you in his arms as carefully and gently as a man with blue hair did.
"Hello." Tartaglia made an effort to keep his voice from sounding too tremulous and exhaled sharply as you walked past him without another word.
Now remembering your meeting with him after several years of separation, you bite your lip, out of the corner of your eye watching Childe flirting with some girl on the other side of the room. It was painful and unpleasant to admit that past feelings that you tried to forget about gradually began to revive in your wounded chest.
You took another sip of soda and felt a hand on your shoulder.
Ayato looks into your face with concern.
"Are you not feeling well?" Your boyfriend asked excitedly as he gently lifted your chin with his hand. You smiled and shook your head from side to side, letting him know you were okay.
Who were you lying to? To yourself or to him?
"You look sad."
"Why do you think so?" You hummed, noticing how Ajax stiffens on the other side of the room as Ayato's hand touches your face. You have long since learned to recognize the tense state of your ex boyfriend. He was like an open book to you.
On the other side of the room, Tartaglia grinds his teeth, looking away from the girl who was talking to him. He is no longer interested in her open cleavage when his blue eyes find you in the arms of another man. He sighs in exasperation, trying to get his thoughts in order.
Ajax tried to remind himself that you and he broke up a long time ago, but when he looked at you, his heart was beating with great force in his chest, threatening to break out and end up again in your arms, where you carefully kept Ajax's heart before.
It was hard to realize that you were no longer his, that now everything of yours — both soul and body — belonged to another man, and not to him. And now, more than anything in the world, he hated himself for the fact that he couldn't touch you the way he used to.
Childe felt a bright fire of anger and rage rise through his entire body as the blue-haired man touched your chin. Sorrow and pain quickly spread through his body, making it hard for him to think straight.
Jealousy clouds his mind. He didn’t want anything so much right now as to tear off the hands of the one who dared to touch the girl who belonged only to him. But Tartaglia would never do it in front of you because he knew you hated it when he used brute force. So he takes a sharp breath, his face becomes completely casual, and the ginger man moves away from the girl with the intention of approaching you and your new boyfriend.
"Hey, are you listening to me?" The woman pouts resentfully when she sees that Childe's attention is no longer on her.
"Back off." He said casually, leaving the confused and obviously angry woman alone.
Right now all he cares about is you.
You raise your eyebrows in surprise when Tartaglia is next to you and Ayato. It doesn't go unnoticed by you that before looking into your eyes, he looks at the place where Ayato's hand rests on your waist. You felt your heart beat even faster, and your cheeks blushed as your ex boyfriend was finally there for you. You smile wearily.
"Hey, Y/n, we haven’t seen each other for a long time! How are you doing now?" Ajax says, flashing his bold smirk. He intentionally pretends not to notice Ayato next to you, but when you excitedly cling to the sleeve of your boyfriend's sweater, Tartaglia puts on his fake smile through anger and annoyance and says, "Won't you introduce me to your boyfriend?"
He tries to be friendly with your new boyfriend, hoping you'll notice it, but when you don't show any emotion about it, it drives him even more crazy, like you don't care about him.
"Ah…" You smile uncertainly, swallowing a nasty lump in your throat. "Ajax, this is my boyfriend Ayato." You point at a man with blue hair, then turn your attention back to the person you once loved. "Ayato, this is Ajax, my…" You break off in mid-sentence, as if forgetting how to breathe.
When you stopped talking, Childe felt his heart clench painfully as he realized that it's hard for you to even talk about him. Now he felt like a total idiot.
"Is he the man who left you alone and broke your heart?" You didn't have time to answer when Ayato's voice was heard next to you. Your heart sank when you heard your boyfriend's words. You looked frightened at Tartaglia, in whose eyes an irresistible fire of rage flared up.
"Hm, I see that you have found a worthy replacement." Hiding his irritation and pain behind slyness, the ginger man smirked defiantly. "I would even be upset if he didn’t answer me."
You knew he didn't mean it seriously. Because he always tried to hide his true emotions and feelings in this way.
There was a tense silence between the two men. It crackled like charred wires, and you excitedly ran your eyes from side to side, from one man to another. The last thing you wanted to do was cause a fight and attract too much attention.
An unexpected rescue came out of nowhere in the form of your old friends Hu Tao and Venti. The girl beamed at you, before giving Childe a quick cold gaze.
"Y/n, let’s go have that cocktail I told you about." She giggled and made an offended face. "You didn’t drink a single gram of alcohol today!"
Venti hung on Tartaglia, clinging to his hand, "Ajax, you must help me with one important matter. It is waiting for us in the kitchen in the form of several bottles of beer. You look a little tense. This urgently needs to be fixed!"
And both of you didn’t even have time to blink an eye when you both were pulled in different directions from each other. You could only look sadly into Tartaglia's eyes and catch the same sad gaze in your direction.
The evening came quickly because the party was really fun. You caught Childe's eyes on you more than once, but sincerely couldn't understand why he looked at you in this way. After all, it was he who put a big end to your relationship. When your eyes met his blue eyes, you saw how long-forgotten and tender feelings splashed in them, mixed with a huge sadness that was about to rush out of his eyes with salty tears.
Gradually people began to go home, you nodded in understanding when Ayato told you that he needed to pick up his sister from school. You always thought fondly of how much love and care he had for Ayaka. But it also reminded you about Childe, who always put his family first. You couldn't get rid of the feeling that you see Ajax in all the things that surround you.
When the party ends, you stand alone on the porch of Hu Tao's house, looking up at the starry night sky. You take a deep breath, contemplating how you can safely get to your house, when you feel a soft cloth rest on your shoulders. You shuddered in surprise and turned around, noticing Childe next to you, who was left in only one t-shirt.
Your heart filled with warm, but immediately after that, you made a frown on your face.
"So what about you? If you get sick because of your carelessness, don't even dare to blame me for taking your sweater."
The man laughed when he heard your words. You always said something like that, but you also always took care of him if he got sick. But that was when you two were together.
"Your boyfriend didn't even deign to walk you home." Ajax replied irritably, crossing his arms over his chest.
"He has important things to do." You tried to protect Ayato's honor, but only met the skeptical gaze of your ex boyfriend.
"There has never been a more important thing to me than walking my girlfriend home and making sure she's safe. I'll do all the other things later." The ginger man said, and you both fell silent.
Your heart beat faster and you felt unwelcome tears threatening to escape from your eyes, but you made an effort to hold back the tears. Childe took a deep breath and ran his hand through his ginger hair.
"I'll walk you home."
You didn't answer, silently moving forward. You panicked for a split second that the man wouldn't follow you, but when you heard his unhurried footsteps behind you, you immediately relaxed. Both of you walked slowly along the familiar road to your house and didn't even realize that both of your hearts were beating in unison at that moment.
Now for Tartaglia you were so close, but so far at the same time. And it drove him crazy. The very knowledge that you would never again find yourself in his loving arms tore his heart apart. And it was all his fault. What could he do to get rid of his selfish desire to feel you in his arms again?
He wanted to scream at the realization that nothing could be fixed. What he couldn't know was that you were thinking about it too with the same sadness that poisoned your soul.
As you two approached your house, you stopped and turned to Childe. He looked upset and smiled sadly at you, that made your heart clench painfully. The ginger man looked so sad, like a puppy who was kicked out of the house for tearing the upholstery of the sofa.
"Thank you for walking me home."
From Childe's side, in his eyes you looked like an angel. You were so fragile, in his favorite sweatshirt, shivering a little from the evening cold, wrapping your arms around yourself to keep warm. Your beautiful eyes looked back at him, and when he looked at your lips, there was no other way for him. How hard it is to see the lips of a loved one without the opportunity to kiss them. All he wanted so badly right now was to kiss you on the lips again.
He takes a step forward and when you don't step back at his actions, his heart sings with joy that you still trust him. His lips meet yours in a deep kiss that contains all your and his pain, suffering, sadness and love.
Ajax wraps his arms around you, enjoying the fact that you were in his arms again. It was the best thing he could ever wish for. To feel your lips on his lips, and the way you responded to the kiss, was heaven on earth for him.
You felt an incredible relief in your heart as Childe kissed your entire face with his lips. You both may be thinking about what just happened for a long time, and you both will need to decide what you and he need to do next, but right now it was absolutely unimportant. Because the most important thing right now is that you can once again feel like you're in the arms of someone you never stopped loving. Just like Childe never stopped loving you.
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imthebestgirl · 1 year ago
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Billy?
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Prompt: You come home to find your beloved boyfriend Billy Loomis all bloody and messy you,scared and clueless..Billy? Is the first thing you say.
Names: Doll, Sweetheart, My Love, Darlin’, Daddy
Warning: Smut And a lot of Daddy x Princess kinda stuff so if you don’t like it leave! Gaslighting included and a sprinkle in manipulation this would also contain non con but easily goes into con
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As your walking home, not being able to wait to see your amazing daddy. Walking up to the front door you hear a loud bang almost like a body hitting something. You hesitatingly put your key in the door hoping it’s not an intruder of some sort until the door…opens.
“Heya, Doll!” Billy, says almost like he’s hiding something.. “Daddy? What’s wrong! What was that noise?” You say shocked “And why are you..Bloody?..”
“Nothings wrong, Doll just dropped somethin’. Come in, don’t want to freeze at the door step!” He says rushing you to come in but, obviously he doesn’t wanna be seen especially in the state he’s in currently.
He drags you into the house now warm but there’s a smell..almost like metal but sweet like..blood? “Daddy..what did you do?..what happened…” you say on the near verge of tears scared you’ll be the one in trouble if someone finds out.
“Now don’t cry doll..Nothing to be afraid of I just had a little…accident..” he says almost like it was a joke like it was funny.. “NO!” You say in a split moment not thinking not acknowledging that your being disobedient by yelling at him but you didn’t care you were to scared to “care” at all “what did you say to me..” Billy says in a quick change in his voice he didn’t look to happy now.
“Im sorry daddy I’m sososo sorry!” You said sincerely you really didn’t mean to scream at him. But, you were scared after all you were just wanting to come home and be the best girl you could to him. “Shut up.” He says so sternly it scares you “Get down now.” Surprised and confused you don’t even dare do it until he grips your hair and pull you down to your knees himself.
“Ouch!” You exclaim showing pain but submission not knowing why he was treating you so harshly it’s not what you were used to he was always so gentle and sweet with you never this rough and mean “don’t you know how to listen?. Do you want me to get caught and go to jail?” he says making you scared “No! I didn’t mean to but I was just scared! I promise not to do it agai-.” Before you could finish your sentence he yanks at your hair some more obviously wanting to make you cry “what you don’t love me now darlin’. After all I’ve given to you?”
You whimper whilst he starts to unbuckle his belt. Knowing where this is going it’s not like you didn’t want it but you were just scared you wanted him to treat you softly like he always did but instead he just said “Suck.” You looked up at him like you were stupid or confused so he did it himself and gripped your cheeks to push your face down onto his cock. “Dadd-.” You say muffled giving in to him now loving the way he was treating you. The pool forming in your panties you looked up feeling all warm inside “Such a good girl for me arent cha’?” In response you slightly nod.
“Get up.” He says after pulling out of your mouth. Once your on your feet again he grabs you by the back of your neck to take you upstairs to your bedroom the pink what you called luxury you slept in.
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Once you arrived to your bedroom he lays you down on your stomach to soon take your clothes off. The cold air hitting your body makes you squirm and in result he ties your arms together with rope he found under the bed. “Be still fa’ me please sweetheart.” You nod in reply to soon after feel a sharp pain in your lower abdomen. It was him he knew you couldn’t take the all of him on your first time since intercourse wasn’t as often as you wanted so he let you re-adjust.
“Be careful please! ‘s too thick!” you whine kicking what you could if your legs while he started to slowly but deeply and steadily pound into your tight warm cunt. “It’s okay my love it’ll feel better in a sec now.” He says being reassuring as he was before but he was right so after you were screaming for more begging for him to pound into you deeper he knows how much you loved prone bone.
Soon after you were almost to your orgasm on the very edge of it “please I’m almost done please please please keep going don’t stop please!” Your babbling was getting tiring to him though because he then put his hand over your mouth for one last thrust “FUCK doll!” and you felt a warm wet liquid pool under you definitely not from him scared and embarrassed thinking that you might’ve…had a incident he praised you in a instant “My god doll, I made you squirt aren’t you proud of yourself?” You indeed did but you had felt an embarrassing feeling in your stomach.
He cooled down and pulled out of you and you whined wanting him to stay in return he kisses you, saying “Well someone’s gonna have to drag the body out the house and clean it?” You look up and shout “Wait WHAT?”
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4townlove · 1 year ago
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4⭐Town Daydreams: A Moment Alone Amidst It All
your favourite member of 4Town and yourself do your best to hold back giggles as you duck out of the birthday party management and the studio has thrown for him.
the surprise was enough to nearly knock him off his feet, and the light that gleamed in his eyes when he found you amidst the crowd of his friends and colleagues and band members only made you fall for him even more. you'd been hardly able to hold back tears during your speech, but his hand around yours, as always, was enough to keep your feet on the ground.
"you all know about us," you smiled into the microphone, murmurs and chuckling agreement swirling around you as your turned your eyes to him at your side, your heart overflowing. "it was love at first sight, and we've been inseperable ever since. for better or for worse."
laughter rose to the roof of the rehearsal stage that was now redecorated to commemorate his special day. a bespoke lightbulb illuminated banner of his name hung high above everyone's heads like the 4Town banner usually would during concerts, on the enormous electric screen at the back of the stage, a rolling reel of candid and tour photos of him, 4Town together on stage and rehersing and behind the scenes, and of you and him enjoying dates and quiet moments captured in selfies, filled the darkness. but it was the smiles of everyone who made this dream possible all around that really brought light into the space.
"i... there arent words enough to express how deeply i love you," you said to him, your gaze so fixed in his that it seemed that everyone else fell away. "you're the single most talented and charming and awe-inspiring person i know... possibly on the planet. to know you and be with you is beyond an honor. i-i.... i just love you, babe." you beamed, voice cracking as tears filled your eyes. cooes and awws swelled up from the crowd as he walked closer, and when he hugged you tight, applause embraced you both together.
after fending off tears, he gave his own bashful speech of thanks and then the party took off. it was dancing and music and embarrassing karaoke and food, so much good food, and in the midst of it all, as everyone was captivated in enjoying the bliss and excitement of the moment, he took your hand and inclined his head to the door. and of course, you followed.
giggling, you both slipped away from the party and raced up the stairs to the roof, gasping deeply as the cool evening air hit you in the face as the door finally swung open.
a sunset the color of honey spilled out over the city and the horizon, ans from the rooftop of the studio, every surface before your eyes gleamed as if washed in gold.
"Baby?" he said, his voice gentle and so sweet that you couldnt resist turning to face him.
in the light of the sun, he shimmered, beautiful and bold and bright as he ever was. your heart tripped as you stepped closer to him, instinctively reaching out to take his hand and intertwine your fingers with his.
"this was... an incredible surpise. thank you for this, seriously. i have no idea how you kept it from me for so long but im not complaining."
seeing his face glow with delight still warmed your soul as you replied, "i spared no expense. i would never, when it comes to you."
now it was his turn to feel the butterflies in his heart kick up with excitement and adoration. for a while he just gazed at you, a lovestruck grin pushing into his cheek. how lucky was he to be with you, to know that, somehow, you loved him...
"well, i just... i needed a moment alone with you to say that." he blushes as he spoke, glancing down and squeezing your palm and then, meeting your gaze again, breathed with enough sincerity to make his eyes glisten with tears, "and also to say that... i love you... s-so much."
of all the times he'd said this to you, this time seemed to knock at the deepest and most tender corner of your heart. your face blossomed with the brightest smile as you rested your forehead against his.
"i love you too. with all i am." you whispered back, exhaling so deeply you felt weightless as he tilted his head and softly kissed you. the sun seemed to expell more warmth and glittering light around you both, uniting you in this sacred moment, and reminding you both that no matter what, or who else is around, it will always, always, be you and him at the heart of it all.
and that was the greatest gift either of you could ever treasure always.
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