#im horrible at editing pics but enjoy anyways
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#im horrible at editing pics but enjoy anyways#i thought it suited them#911 abc#buddie#eddie diaz#911 season 7#gay firefighter show#gay eddie diaz#bi buck#evan buck buckley#buck x eddie#chimney han#hen wilson#wee woo
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EDIT: Okay guys turns out that the video I watched was from a horribly pirated version. I am watching the movie once more and none of those constant cuts are there it's much more straightforward please ignore all I said about it being hard to understand I'm gonna look like a moron
So I absolutely ADORED the Cuckoo movie and I can't stop thinking about it at all.
Here's the thing. I'm not a big fan of the horror genre, mainly because Im a coward, but lately I've been tipping my toes in, and although I'm enjoying the experience im still somewhat of a newbie. From what I gather, horror films tend to be either the ones with jumpscares and blood and people screaming, the ones with Dread in it (like Midsommar or Alien) and the ones that are sort-of-introspective, meaningful art (not to say that the others arent, but I think you know what I mean even if what I say is wrong. I'm thinking of stuff like Lake Mungo or I Saw the TV Glow).
So I started watching Cuckoo thinking it was gonna be one of the first ones, having seen hundreds of pics of Schaffer covered in blood, but as time went on it became clear it wasn't. Given that there was also the weird gimmick about the cuts and flashbacks, together with the dead mum, I thought it was gonna be the third one instead. I laid back on the couch and got ready to take in The Vibes, relaxed, becoming one with the movie and Feel It. It's probably one of those things where the point isn't understanding, but rather feeling the mystery and the confusion and the fear of the unexplained.
BOY. WAS. I. WRONG.
Im not sure when it happened exactly, but I believe it was about the time when Gretchen got locked in the science room by Creepy Guy, or perhaps when the scientist started saying things like "Homo Cuculus" or something. At that moment everything clicked: this wasn't an introspective film about loss, this was an X-Files episode! (minus the sexual tension)
That whiplash, for me, was what turned the movie from good to great, and I'm not sure if I would've liked it as much had I had that idea from the start. From then on the movie was a puzzle, the weird cuts were not just some stylistic choice but part of the difficulty, and I felt incredibly proud after figuring out what was going on and explaining it to the friend I'd been watching it with. I felt even prouder (although maybe a bit disappointed) when I started reading reviews to check my answers and found out that most said it was incoherent, or plotless, or pure vibes, because it most certainly was not, only on the surface, but oh well.
I can't wait to watch it a second time this Friday knowing everything from the start. ANYWAY!
#cuckoo#cuckoo 2024#hunter schafer#that one creepy guy everyone on tumblr's thirsting for for some unexplained reason#sorry im too much of a lesbian for that and he just looks like a chaser#horror#horror movies#x files
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IIIIIIIIIIIII bloody hate tumblr, Ive been trying to get all the songs we've reced each other into a playlist but it is not showing me all our asks and the ones it does show me are not in order and i wanted it to be in order ugggghhh im stabbing the screen right now mentally,
anyway at work my team is making a playlist so we can listen to everyone's music taste and here's the link to it, add some in my name please and thankyou<333 https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4KeIWHO0lqkpDjXFPxWB7v?si=MToywKdbQM2JdiQWq1se6Q&pt=5d863cd3287ba2fae6b8184d7edce597
xhjdsflsdkf it's so always so funny and embarrassing remembering how this all started, all because i was too shy to take off the anon, but hey, here we are <3
and god yes, monaco is perfect for a roadtrip, it is also perfect for this one fic that i read back around 2019 or 2018, just yesterday i was talking about it with a friend bc it was HUGE fic in the fandom, to the point that there was discourse about the fic which is just fucking ridiculous but anyway, you see, idk if you heard about vld but that shit was huge here on tumblr and i was motherfucking obsessed and then the fandom grew very very large and it just kind of imploded but that's not important, the fic was a current time au where the characters were fake dating for a family reunion and the post breakup-bc-we-caught-feelings-but-we-think-the-other-didnt scene would be SO good with Monaco on the background, tasty 👌🏻
re:the job, yeap, ive been working since february bc i needed a break from uni and this way i justified it to myself and actually work has been so good for me for real, ive met a bunch of people that have become close friends, work has allowed me so much rest compared to mfucking architecture, it's also allowing me to pay for a psychologist which is great and yeah, overall a positive experience, the only problem is that now i dont wanna quit working but i know that i cant both work and continue with architecture, and it is making me question how much of my life i am willing to give to this career, bc i feel so much better now mentally, even my friends have told me how different i seem and how much better i seem to be doing right now that im not at uni and just *slowly slips down from the chair into the floor dramatically*
and you're right in both accounts lmao, it's hot as hell outside, especially since i just went home for the weekend and jesus christ the heat and humidity there are no fucking joke i tell you, on the plus side i came back by plane and that was so nice, right before take off i was SO nervous but after we did i really enjoyed it, it helps that it turned 8 hours in a cramped seat into half an hour in a slightly less cramped seat lol, some of the pics i took bc i couldnt help myself will follow this paragraph that just ran away from me literally but anyways, it's horribly hot outside but at work they always have the bloody aircon either too high or too low, no in between with those people
the edit also had me on sliding dramatically to the floor holy shit, the song fits Miles so well and im just 🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹🥹 it's so easy to have that part get stuck in your head btw, i halfway think about it and i have it stuck in my head for at least the next hour
song rec of the ask: heaven iowa by fall out boy, i fucking love fall out boy, they're my band for real
-M, aka Denisse, aka blue iconed mutual who wanted you to know bc they had a major crush on you but didnt want you to know bc she is shy as fuck aka just a silly goofy person who covers her eyes and groans when she thinks too much about the anon asking bc they get embarrassed easily jsfhjds byyye love you, take care, sending you tons of hugsssss
back to old traditions-> me answering every ask 3 weeks late😔
oooooh lemme search them up and make a playlist later :)) i mostly have them in my liked akshually
what if i added oli london huh. what if i added peppa pig🤨oink wsbdfjkerkjh idk if i had good song recs rn but ill try to add smth later :3
. . . . .
do i . a person whos been on tumblr for almost 8 ish years know about Voltron:Legendary Defenders - the ships from which top the tumblr ecosystem almost every year- the fandom from which i have trauma(not actually but i did cry at shiro's implied death and subsequent clonign lmaooo😭😭😭)
dm me the link bby🤙🏽🤙🏽[i stated on the side of. ahem . omegaverse/werewolves plus soulmate aus]
im glad that youre happy with ur job!!! im entirely unqualified to give any career advice [seriously though -my chosen career is like. its good but its also like 7 years of studying and idek know if i should pursue it rnnn] so honestly🫂🫂🫂🫂🫂
honestly im just real glad that ur doing good <3 being in college/uni is both good and bad but hey its not like you cant go back to it at anytime yk? you'd be doing incredible things anyway, it'll just have different terms
ahh the weather here is so shit it's always on the edge of raining and then its like nah😜
i actually like love airplane pics on insta , also the mountains!!!! my old flat used to be near a mountain and i miss it so much😭
i couldnt see atsv in theatres cause of so many things but i finally saw it and it was. like actually life changing . and also i have to fuck miguel o hara btw
OH MAN. i need to confess smth. me and my friends had , a file. like a plastic file with paper with lyrics to FOB songs that we used to write in our free periods and sing in the back of the class😭😭 i miss it so much [it being time. place, ppl. yk how it is]
so much for stardust ended up being one of my fav albums of their forever- after mania and save rock and roll
[but seriously the words 'scar-crossed lovers' brought back the 14yr old geek obsessed with fantasy books in me out again]
😳😳😳
omg well heres to my blue iconned mutual who i wouldve been dming a lot sooner had i been a lit bit more brave but am ultimately glad to have known even after a little longer
much love and many hugs 😚😚😚
#p.s. drink water and hope u meet little kitties who follow u around💜💜💜💜💜#ily#m for mwah! and mwah! and mwah!#m
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Celebrity Status
Celebrity Status, an ongoing L(G)B(T)+ story also on Wattpad and Quotev.
<-- Previous (Prologue) / Next -->
TW: Brief mention of r*pe
Chapter One
Jules, grinning mischievously, set the game discs down in a row on the hardwood in front of the TV stand. Rosa's heels clicked on the floor as he did and she moved in anticipation of what she was about to do. He set the last disc down gently after kissing it, then stood up to admire the line. His gaze turned to Rosa, who looked down at them, then back up at him.
"Yes, princess, you can go ahead," he said with a flourish and bow, tossing the cases on the floor.
The discs cracked under Rosa's heels as she jumped on them, stomped on them, ground them into the floor. She leaned down and picked up the pieces afterward, too, snapping them and tossing them on the bed. After she'd done that to every single one, she stomped all of the cases, tossing them on the bed as well.
She was fucking ruthless, and Jules loved it. He loved his sister, and that was exactly why he was doing this shit. He stomped the last one before her, his combat boot snapping the plastic case's edge, then kicked it over to her. She did the same, then set it in front of the TV, smiling sweetly.
"Hope you enjoy your gameless existence, you dick," she murmured, already unplugging the Playstation from the TV. "This is what you get for trying to rape me."
Jules felt his stomach fall at her words, but knew it was true. A week ago, he and his friend Sam had walked in on Rosa and Dickwad Josh at a party. Rosa had been trying to push Josh off her, and it took both Jules and Sam to get him away.
As usual, they'd both guaranteed they'd exact their revenge, and make it ten times worse than what they usually did because the guy had almost succeeded.
They showed up at his house when they were sure he was gone, and went inside to speak to his parents. They'd listened as Rosa described what happened, and Jules told them he'd witnessed it and that their son was a dick in the first place too, who would sometimes grope Rosa in front of everyone.
They'd all agreed he needed to learn a very, very severe lesson.
So, naturally, they showed them both up to his room and told them what they could destroy. They both took the opportunity to kill his games, and were now dismantling his Playstation and controllers.
Once they had everything gathered in their arms, they went downstairs and outside. Jules waved a controller affectionately at his parents, who grinned back at him. They'd hated how much Josh played games, anyway, and they were really nice people in a not so good neighborhood. There was a kid down the street who would kill for the console, so Jules and Rosa knocked on the door happily.
"Hi," Rosa said, grinning. "We're from the house down there, the Pinnows. Uh— Well, Josh, their son, he knew that your kid really wanted a Playstation and that you guys couldn't get one, so we come bearing a gift."
They both lifted the console and cords. "It's a little worn, but Josh wanted you guys to have it."
The dad took it thankfully, a little shocked as he laughed. "Holy shit. Thank you."
After a little bit of awkward conversation, they left again, grinning at the good deed they did in the middle of revenge. Jules shoved at Rosa. "You feeling better?"
"Fuck yes. He deserves all this shit. Dick." Rosa laughed, clapping her hands together. She rubbed them greedily. "What can we destroy now?"
"How about slashing his tires? Make him pay, sis," Jules said, passing her his pocket knife. He took her hand and set it in her palm, then kissed her forehead. "Careful, though. We don't need you slashing your hand open."
⧫
Mason Hill moved his head along to the music blasting into his eardrums as he fucked around on his laptop. He was in the mood for going incognito online, wanting to interact with fans without them knowing it was him. He had been hearing about this awesome Nosam forum for a while but hadn't made an account yet. He figured it was time for that to change. He cracked his knuckles in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue, grinning as he saw the first empty text box to fill beside the word Username.
"Easy," he murmured to himself, immediately typing masonfucker1000 into the box.
He frowned at the next prompt. Name? Huh. He drummed his fingers against his leg, glancing at Austin, sitting nearby him on the tour bus. "Dude, what was your middle name again?"
Mason knew his middle name. He just liked hearing Austin say it in his neat little accent.
And wanted to freak him out a little.
Austin gave him a curious look as he stopped playing his guitar, pushing his glasses up. "Elías? Why do you ask?"
Mason clicked his tongue at him, winking. "Nothing important. Nice name, handsome."
Austin opted not to respond, shaking his head and watching him suspiciously before going back to his guitar.
Mason typed Elías into the box. He figured a shit ton of people were 23 and it would be harmless to put that in, so he did that too. He put in a fanart edit of himself as the image— him wearing a flower crown, one of his favorites— and hit Create Account, smiling in satisfaction. He went to the welcome thread to make his first post.
masonfucker1000: hey!! im maybe older than most fans but I just wanted you all 2 know that even though im straight, i would let mason hill do anything he wanted to me
Austin kept glancing up at him, effectively distracted by Mason wanting his middle name for what was probably a horrible reason.
"Seriously, what are you doing?"
"Joining a Nosam forum, obviously," Mason scooted closer to him, moving the laptop close to his face with a flourish.
Austin stared at the screen, looking from the glittery website's title, to the header with their faces, and then to Mason's post. "Why are you always so disturbingly narcissistic to the point where I'm almost certain you'd actually fuck yourself if given the opportunity?"
Mason tilted his head, nodding as he spoke. "Because I would, Ozzie," he pecked his neck and then, mouth at his ear, repeated in a whisper. "Because I would."
Jules, alone in his bedroom after the revenge-destroying, was fucking around on the Nosam forum. As usual. He was one of the top members, had helped design the site as a school project, was friends with about half the people on the site, and loved them all. They were really his only friends, so it was easy to love them all.
He refreshed the page just in time to see a new comment in the welcome thread. No one had joined in a while, so it was interesting. It wasn't exactly the most popular website, so... Oh, their name was Elias... That was Austin's middle name. Maybe he'd finally have another Austin stan.
And of course, they loved Mason. God damn it, everyone did. He sighed but hit reply anyway. A new friend was a new friend.
familyjules: hey elias! welcome to the nosam fanbase!!! also: ew but go off i guess ;)
Mason gasped loudly, falling back against the small sofa. "Ew? Ew?"
He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he immediately replied.
masonfucker1000: jules! hi! thanks! also! what the hell! how can you resist the unique and godly allure that only mason joshua hill possesses?
Jules snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his wall as he typed, laughing a little to himself.
familyjules: i'm too entranced by the unique and godly allure that only austin possesses, ....masonfucker1000. i just realized this point is totally moot but i'm still gonna fight it to my dying breath: austin elías salinas vicente is better than mason hill in so many ways but i respect your opinion my dear masonfucker
Mason sighed loudly and took off his snapback, throwing it at Austin, who yelped in surprise.
"What the hell?"
Mason glared at him. "That's for having a godly allure, Salinas."
Austin sputtered, confused.
masonfucker1000: you say you respect my opinion, familyjules? really? u might as well have spat in my face. austin. better than mason. my god. i will try to coexist peacefully with radical beliefs such as urs.
also: is ur profile pic u?
Jules laughed at the dramatics. He hadn't had this much fun meeting someone in a while. They were actually taking his jokes as jokes.
familyjules: thank you for your precious coexistence, fellow radical believer. and yeah dat me
Mason didn't know why the Nosam fanbase just happened to be super attractive, but he always appreciated nonetheless.
masonfucker1000: my dude, fellow believer, may i just say that ur face is v nice to look at. one might even say it radiates a certain godly allure
Jules blushed a little. People had called him attractive before, but not like that. Damn.
familyjules: thank you!! i guess ur pfp is kinda okay to look at... ;)
Mason huffed, pouting. That was just not at all fair. He couldn't even defend his own good looks.
masonfucker1000: ha. ha. so how long have u been into nosam? sorry, i meant: how long have u been brainwashed into thinking nosam was called nitsua?
Jules laughed at that one. It was good. Elias was funny.
familyjules: i actually laughed at that one! nitsua just sounds like a ninja name or something. and i've been into them since their first ep came out! found them on youtube and felllllllll. how about you?
Mason grinned. Hardcore fan. Hell, yeah. Call him a narcissist. Nosam was awesome and superbly talented, and Mason appreciated when other people knew it.
masonfucker1000: me too! nosam sorta changed my life. listen to them way more than a sane person should.
Someone else on the thread pointed out that that page was for welcoming and not conversation. Mason stuck out his tongue at his laptop screen.
masonfucker1000: whoops. heading to gen, familyjules?
Jules sighed a little at the comment, rolling his eyes. He'd made the website. It was his rule. And he'd broken it.
familyjules: whoops. yeah. i'll tag u in a thread
familyjules: @masonfucker1000 here we are. what yt video did you see first?
masonfucker1000: teenage dirtbag cover! iconic as hell. have u ever seen them live? its the most fun i've ever had.
familyjules: hell yes! i love that one! and no ): but i've got tickets to a show this tour and im hype. gonna scream my ass off
Mason's eyes widened. Oh, yes. Mason befriending a fan and that fan attending a Nosam concert? That would be beautiful.
masonfucker1000: really?? where? what day? on the off chance im going to the same 1
familyjules: Traverse City, MI. gonna glitter my face off too i'm gonna look great
masonfucker1000: oh nah not going there! glitter! nosam hype! fuck yeah, i believe u, u already look great as is. michigan, huh? the hell do u do for fun there?
familyjules: hockey, mostly. play bass too. try to run away from my family while blasting pop punk since no one gets me. freeze to death in snow
masonfucker1000: hockey?? ur tiny! i think! bass is rad, how long have you been playing? pop punk is the shit, i get u, bro
Jules smiled a bit. At least he didn't say he was a girl.
familyjules: bet i can whoop your ass even if i am tiny! and ive been playing for 5 years now. lots of nosam covers in the media thread if u wanna check it out! we gots a talented group here
masonfucker1000: i bet u can i can barely hold a stick.
a future seluj! charmed to meet u pre-fame. will def check out.
Mason headed to the media thread and clicked on one of the audio files Jules had uploaded. His eyes widened, and he turned up the volume.
Andrew, who had sat down in the far corner like the fucking loner he was, looked up at Mason as basslines filled the small space. "Hey, who's that? Not Chris, is it?"
Mason shook his head, mumbling, "Fan cover."
Andrew snorted, "Shit. That's good. You should show that to Chris when he gets back."
Mason played a few more covers, very impressed and a little doubtful.
masonfucker1000: c'mon. c'mon, jules. no way that's u.
familyjules: oh hell yeah that's me. ask anyone on here i love playing so much. covered a few starlight songs too but i'm not as good at those yet. are u into them too?
masonfucker1000: sure, sure. u stripped from chris, admit it, jules.
fuck yeah! love those badass ladiesss!
familyjules: whoa, dude, i'd never. if anything i'd strip for austin. if stella wouldn't kill me
masonfucker1000: pipe dream, jules. stella would 100% kill you. and then strip for austin herself.
Jules sighed wistfully at that image. They were both ridiculously hot, and Stella stripping was just a mental image to frame and make lifesize on the mantel above the fireplace.
familyjules: can't even join them? damn. my dreams are gone. can i share mason w/you then, masonfucker? he's the only single one of all of them... wait. does your username mean you're his hand then? shouldn't you have his hand as your pfp?
Mason's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck. I've never felt so roasted in my entire fucking life. Holy shit. Fucking— familyjules," he breathed a laugh, already typing out a response eagerly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at him, an action that Mason didn't even notice.
masonfucker1000: shit! how could u do him like that? he gets plenty of attention other than his hand! lots of it! mason hill gets around! its basic info!
familyjules: ha! uses the other hand sometimes? ;)
Mason lifted his arms behind his head. "This fucker!" he laughed again, rubbing his hands down his face. This Jules girl was ridiculous. If only she knew who she was talking to but... no, not a good idea. He stared at the screen, frowning as he realized he really wanted to keep talking to her, forgetting to respond and tapping his fingers against the laptop. He flipped Andrew off when he kept staring at him, taking the laptop and laying in his bunk instead. He could easily just not respond, like, ever. It wouldn't matter at all. Jules was just some random fan he'd stumbled onto online, who had no idea who Mason was, with whom Mason had only had half a conversation with. Hell, he usually didn't even have more than a conversation with people anyway, always having so many he wanted to talk to. But it wasn't ever like this. And it was stupid, really, how drawn he felt from just a couple hundred words on a screen, from a stranger. It wasn't even a good font.
Mason pursed his lips, sighing quietly as he stared at the forum page, at the slight curve of Jules' mouth in her profile picture. He abruptly switched tabs, checking his Twitter and replying to some fans. He Googled other fansites, ones he already had accounts on, and sifted through the threads, trying to find something else to do.
It was a bit before Elias responded again. Jules fucked around with other things on the site while he waited, scrolled through Tumblr, and then went back. He private messaged Elias, frowning a little.
familyjules: hey dude. just so you know i fuck with all the mason superfans like that. it's way too easy to roast mason
Mason was startled when he heard a ping as he had finally distracted himself from familyjules. He hesitated barely a second before switching back, smiling as he read the message.
masonfucker1000: yeah its cool! got distracted. ur wrong tho. completely wrong. masons a regular manwhore
familyjules: cool all good. just wanted to make sure you weren't actually mad! and trust me i know far too many girls on here have talked about seeing his dick
masonfucker1000: mad? over that? dont worry, bro, not at all
gh! and they all say his dick is huge. which is false. have u seen him in skinny jeans? he's got an average dick, ladies. an average dick with an above average heart
familyjules: damn dude. at least you're honest unlike them. also sometimes it looks big so i wonder who's right👀
masonfucker1000: average dick.
fuck im starving. what do i have to do to get some pizza up in hereeeee
familyjules: be mason hill?
familyjules: kidding! i'll send you some
masonfucker1000: you be careful or ill end up taking your word for it!! i swear my stomach is going to start eating itself
They ended up talking for a bit longer, but then Jules had to sleep, which made Mason pouty. It was rare for him to enjoy talking to someone this much, but Jules had a late shift the next day and classes all day, so he said goodbye and logged off, promising to be back same time the next day.
♦️
It kept like that for a week. Jules talked to Elias whenever he could, along with his other friends. He felt drawn to Elias for some reason, compelled to let the mysterious user eat up all his time.
familyjules: so. mr. masonfucker. you've only got two things on your profile and it's been a week. not even a small introduction to tell us about yourself other than you'd let mason have his way with you? i'm curious ;)
During the week, Mason had become gradually more excited every time he had the chance to be online when Jules was, which had thankfully been coinciding with after Nosam sets. He bit his lip as he read the newest message from her.
masonfucker1000: oh, youre curious? maybe i like the suspense ;) what about u, miss familyjules? im very curious about u. ur short bio is frankly not enough
Jules winced at the response. So Elias did think he was a girl. He could set him straight... but he knew nothing about this person except that he was cis and straight. He seemed cool, but Jules really didn't want to deal with a huge messy fight on the site right now.
familyjules: hey, you know i live in michigan. and what i look like. and that i play bass and play hockey. i don't even know what you do for fun, aside from stan mason. c'mon, dude
Mason groaned. God, he could just disappear right now, not talk to her ever again. But he'd be fucking bummed. Was he just lonely? I mean, tours got like that sometimes. Maybe he just needed stress relief, although that was off the table at the moment. Shit. This wasn't a... thing. Was it?
masonfucker1000: alright, alright! well, i do not live in michigan. i look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself! i like singing and i've seen Real Steel abt a thousand times. how about that?
familyjules: real steel is awesome! and singing! maybe you should be in seluj with me one day. we'd take over the world, displace nosam
masonfucker1000: hell yeah! I'll let hugh jackman have at all this too 🥒🍆
displace nosam? ur blocked
masonfucker1000: kidding! totally up for it, let's go. altho it should be called saile, then
familyjules: hey, you're the one who named it seluj in the first place! maybe we're getting ahead of ourselves tho. havent even heard u sing. for all i know you could suck
masonfucker1000: thats where you're wrong, jules! that's where you're wrong! hold on
Mason paced the tour bus, considering his options. He had to show her he could sing. If he sang a song nobody had ever heard him do, maybe it would be alright?
masonfucker1000: uploaded suckonthisjules.mp3
masonfucker1000: go the distance! Hercules is my favorite disney movie. see? proof of my awesome talent and a fact abt me
Jules blinked in shock at the file, clicking play and leaning back. He listened, transfixed, picking at his lip.
familyjules: holy shit elias you sound a lot like mason. did you train your voice or what? there were a few places where you were off key but god damn. also hercules is so underrated
"Oh, fuck," Mason said as he read the response. "Wait— off key?" he glared at his laptop.
Andrew snorted. "A few minutes ago? Yeah."
Mason turned his glare towards Andrew. "I was not off key."
Andrew just laughed and shook his head, stuffing his face with chicken.
Mason frowned. It's not his fault his voice was a little strained after the show. No way he was gonna admit it, though.
He deleted the file he sent.
masonfucker1000: ah yeah, a bit.
and go to hell. off key, my ass! i told you I can sing. hercules is def underrated! yo where do u go all day?
Jules frowned when the messages shifted. He scrolled back up to find the file gone. "Oh, come on," he muttered. How paranoid could this guy be? It was a fansite. Who cared?
familyjules: def off key a bit. you deleted the file because of it, i see you, devil 👀
familyjules: oh also i'm a working college student! class by day, waiting tables by night
masonfucker1000: i did not!
oh shit, nice! well, horrible, but nice. i bet you get good tips ;) what are u studying?
familyjules: you'd be surprised how bad the tips are. studying music and psych, but the psych is a minor
masonfucker1000: jules ill go over there and tip you, you'll be set for life. so ur serious abt music huh? what do u wanna do?
familyjules: so youre rich. another thing i know now. and hell yeah i am! i want to work w/ a recording company if i can, fill in bass. more freelance than i'd like but it's something
masonfucker1000: 🤑
masonfucker1000: woah woah wait. ur settling! what would you like?
familyjules: settling? i don't call getting to play bass for a living settling
familyjules: what i really want tho is to play in a band but that's unlikely
masonfucker1000: uh huh
masonfucker1000: i knew it! c'mon, unlikely? you're as good as chris if you're not lying abt not stripping his bass 👀 maybe even better
familyjules: WHOA dude dont disrespect christo like that he's a huge role model!! i wish i could be as good as him
Mason smiled, getting up to bother Chris. "Yo, hey, dude?"
Chris looked up from his laptop, rubbing his forehead. "Huh?"
"You know that girl I've been talking to that plays bass. She says you're her role model and got offended when I said she probably plays better than you."
Chris smiled warmly. "That's sweet."
"No, but, listen," Mason showed him an audio clip of Jules covering bass for one of their songs. Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, running his fingers through his hair as his jaw went slack. "Shit. What? Geez— don't even tell the guys, they'll replace me."
Mason laughed loudly, ruffling Chris's hair.
masonfucker1000: no disrespect to christo, i think you're incredibly good. u could definitely be better than him! u should try the band thing, bro, if thats what u really want
familyjules: maybe. i have some stage fright too but been working on that. what do you do all day, mr. masonfucker?
Aw, fuck. This was going to get frustrating for the both of them real quick. Mason didn't want to lie, but he couldn't tell her what he actually did all day. He could maybe explain that he was going to have to keep some (a lot of) personal information to himself? That would sound weird. Mason stared at the message, unsure what to do. He could be a bit of a dick and reply with a joke. Or something really vague. He'd only known Jules for a little over a week but he had a feeling he might not get away with that.
masonfucker1000: how've you been working on it?
masonfucker1000: and i think the more appropriate question is who don't i do all day
Oh, God, that was bad. He regretted sending that one. Mason found himself not wanting her to actually think he slept around all day. Or at all. Fucking hell.
Jules frowned at the reply. This was... interesting, he guessed. Or something like it.
familyjules: so you're a prostitute? that's how you have so much money?
Mason couldn't help but laugh at the response.
masonfucker1000: what! no no
Mason grumbled to himself, rubbing his hands down in face.
masonfucker1000: that was a stupid thing for me to say, sorry
masonfucker1000: i have a job that requires a lot of travel
familyjules: okay that makes more sense. a traveling prostitute. sounds fun! what places have u seen?
Mason rolled his eyes, smiling.
masonfucker1000: oh, aaaall oooover the world. in the US rn, tho! i could put on a show for u ;)
familyjules: maybe i'll take you up on that offer ;)
familyjules: hey im about to upload a new cover btw! it just finished uploading
masonfucker1000: oh, another masterful christo strip!
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Text
chapter one
Jules, grinning mischievously, set the game discs down in a row on the hardwood in front of the TV stand. Rosa’s heels clicked on the floor as he did and she moved in anticipation of what she was about to do. He set the last disc down gently after kissing it, then stood up to admire the line. His gaze turned to Rosa, who looked down at them, then back up at him.
“Yes, princess, you can go ahead,” he said with a flourish and bow, tossing the cases on the floor.
The discs cracked under Rosa’s heels as she jumped on them, stomped on them, ground them into the floor. She leaned down and picked up the pieces afterward, too, snapping them and tossing them on the bed. After she’d done that to every single one, she stomped all of the cases, tossing them on the bed as well.
She was fucking ruthless, and Jules loved it. He loved his sister, and that was exactly why he was doing this shit. He stomped the last one before her, his combat boot snapping the plastic case’s edge, then kicked it over to her. She did the same, then set it in front of the TV, smiling sweetly.
“Hope you enjoy your gameless existence, you dick,” she murmured, already unplugging the Playstation from the TV. “This is what you get for trying to rape me.”
Jules felt his stomach fall at her words, but knew it was true. A week ago, he and his friend Sam had walked in on Rosa and Dickwad Josh at a party. Rosa had been trying to push Josh off her, and it took both Jules and Sam to get him away.
As usual, they’d both guaranteed they’d exact their revenge, and make it ten times worse than what they usually did because the guy had almost succeeded.
They showed up at his house when they were sure he was gone, and went inside to speak to his parents. They’d listened as Rosa described what happened, and Jules told them he’d witnessed it and that their son was a dick in the first place too, who would sometimes grope Rosa in front of everyone.
They’d all agreed he needed to learn a very, very severe lesson.
So, naturally, they showed them both up to his room and told them what they could destroy. They both took the opportunity to kill his games, and were now dismantling his Playstation and controllers.
Once they had everything gathered in their arms, they went downstairs and outside. Jules waved a controller affectionately at his parents, who grinned back at him. They’d hated how much Josh played games, anyway, and they were really nice people in a not so good neighborhood. There was a kid down the street who would kill for the console, so Jules and Rosa knocked on the door happily.
“Hi,” Rosa said, grinning. “We’re from the house down there, the Pinnows. Uh— Well, Josh, their son, he knew that your kid really wanted a Playstation and that you guys couldn’t get one, so we come bearing a gift.”
They both lifted the console and cords. “It’s a little worn, but Josh wanted you guys to have it.”
The dad took it thankfully, a little shocked as he laughed. “Holy shit. Thank you.”
After a little bit of awkward conversation, they left again, grinning at the good deed they did in the middle of revenge. Jules shoved at Rosa. “You feeling better?”
“Fuck yes. He deserves all this shit. Dick.” Rosa laughed, clapping her hands together. She rubbed them greedily. “What can we destroy now?”
“How about slashing his tires? Make him pay, sis,” Jules said, passing her his pocket knife. He took her hand and set it in her palm, then kissed her forehead. “Careful, though. We don’t need you slashing your hand open.”
Mason Hill moved his head along to the music blasting into his eardrums as he fucked around on his laptop. He was in the mood for going incognito online, wanting to interact with fans without them knowing it was him. He had been hearing about this awesome Nosam forum for a while but hadn't made an account yet. He figured it was time for that to change. He cracked his knuckles in front of his chest and stuck out his tongue, grinning as he saw the first empty text box to fill beside the word Username.
"Easy," he murmured to himself, immediately typing masonfucker1000 into the box.
He frowned at the next prompt. Name? Huh. He drummed his fingers against his leg, glancing at Austin, sitting nearby him on the tour bus. "Dude, what was your middle name again?"
Austin gave him a curious look as he stopped playing his guitar, pushing his glasses up. "Elías? Why do you ask?"
Mason clicked his tongue at him, winking. "Nothing important. Nice name, handsome."
Austin opted not to respond, shaking his head and watching him suspiciously before going back to his guitar.
Mason typed Elías into the box. He figured a shit ton of people were 23 and it would be harmless to put that in, so he did that too. He put in a fanart edit of himself as the image— him wearing a flower crown, one of his favorites— and hit Create Account, smiling in satisfaction. He went to the welcome thread to make his first post.
masonfucker1000: hey!! im maybe older than most fans but I just wanted you all 2 know that even though im straight, i would let mason hill do anything he wanted to me
Austin kept glancing up at him, effectively distracted by Mason wanting his middle name for what was probably a horrible reason.
“Seriously, what are you doing?”
“Joining a Nosam forum, obviously,” Mason scooted closer to him, moving the laptop close to his face with a flourish.
Austin stared at the screen, looking from the glittery website’s title, to the header with their faces, and then to Mason’s post. “Why are you always so disturbingly narcissistic to the point where I’m almost certain you’d actually fuck yourself if given the opportunity?”
Mason tilted his head, nodding as he spoke. “Because I would, Ozzie,” he pecked his neck and then, mouth at his ear, repeated in a whisper. “Because I would.”
Jules, alone in his bedroom after the revenge-destroying, was fucking around on the Nosam forum. As usual. He was one of the top members, had helped design the site as a school project, was friends with about half the people on the site, and loved them all. They were really his only friends, so it was easy to love them all.
He refreshed the page just in time to see a new comment in the welcome thread. No one had joined in a while, so it was interesting. It wasn’t exactly the most popular website, so… Oh, their name was Elias… That was Austin’s middle name. Maybe he’d finally have another Austin stan.
And of course, they loved Mason. God damn it, everyone did. He sighed but hit reply anyway. A new friend was a new friend.
familyjules: hey elias! welcome to the nosam fanbase!!! also: ew but go off i guess ;)
Mason gasped loudly, falling back against the small sofa. "Ew? Ew?"
He furrowed his eyebrows in concentration as he immediately replied.
masonfucker1000: jules! hi! thanks! also! what the hell! how can you resist the unique and godly allure that only mason joshua hill possesses?
Jules snorted, rolling his eyes. He leaned on his wall as he typed, laughing a little to himself.
familyjules: i’m too entranced by the unique and godly allure that only austin possesses, ....masonfucker1000. i just realized this point is totally moot but i’m still gonna fight it to my dying breath: austin elías salinas vicente is better than mason hill in so many ways but i respect your opinion my dear masonfucker
Mason sighed loudly and took off his snapback, throwing it at Austin, who yelped in surprise.
"What the hell?"
Mason glared at him. "That's for having a godly allure, Salinas."
Austin sputtered, confused.
masonfucker1000: you say you respect my opinion, familyjules? really? u might as well have spat in my face. austin. better than mason. my god. i will try to coexist peacefully with radical beliefs such as urs.
also: is ur profile pic u?
Jules laughed at the dramatics. He hadn’t had this much fun meeting someone in a while. They were actually taking his jokes as jokes.
familyjules: thank you for your precious coexistence, fellow radical believer. and yeah dat me
Mason didn't know why the Nosam fanbase just happened to be super attractive, but he always appreciated nonetheless.
masonfucker1000: my dude, fellow believer, may i just say that ur face is v nice to look at. one might even say it radiates a certain godly allure
Jules blushed a little. People had called him attractive before, but not like that. Damn.
familyjules: thank you!! i guess ur pfp is kinda okay to look at... ;)
Mason huffed, pouting. That was just not at all fair. He couldn’t even defend his own good looks.
masonfucker1000: ha. ha. so how long have u been into nosam? sorry, i meant: how long have u been brainwashed into thinking nosam was called nitsua?
Jules laughed at that one. It was good. Elias was funny.
familyjules: i actually laughed at that one! nitsua just sounds like a ninja name or something. and i’ve been into them since their first ep came out! found them on youtube and felllllllll. how about you?
Mason grinned. Hardcore fan. Hell, yeah. Call him a narcissist. Nosam was awesome and superbly talented, and Mason appreciated when other people knew it.
masonfucker1000: me too! nosam sorta changed my life. listen to them way more than a sane person should.
Someone else on the thread pointed out that that page was for welcoming and not conversation. Mason stuck out his tongue at his laptop screen.
masonfucker1000: whoops. heading to gen, familyjules?
Jules sighed a little at the comment, rolling his eyes. He’d made the website. It was his rule. And he’d broken it.
familyjules: whoops. yeah. i’ll tag u in a thread
familyjules: @masonfucker1000 here we are. what yt video did you see first?
masonfucker1000: teenage dirtbag cover! iconic as hell. have u ever seen them live? its the most fun i've ever had.
familyjules: hell yes! i love that one! and no ): but i’ve got tickets to a show this tour and im hype. gonna scream my ass off
Mason's eyes widened. Oh, yes. Mason befriending a fan and that fan attending a Nosam concert? That would be beautiful.
masonfucker1000: really?? where? what day? on the off chance im going to the same 1
familyjules: Traverse City, MI. gonna glitter my face off too i’m gonna look great
masonfucker1000: oh nah not going there! glitter! nosam hype! fuck yeah, i believe u, u already look great as is. michigan, huh? the hell do u do for fun there?
familyjules: hockey, mostly. play bass too. try to run away from my family while blasting pop punk since no one gets me. freeze to death in snow
masonfucker1000: hockey?? ur tiny! i think! bass is rad, how long have you been playing? pop punk is the shit, i get u, bro
Jules smiled a bit. At least he didn’t say he was a girl.
familyjules: bet i can whoop your ass even if i am tiny! and ive been playing for 5 years now. lots of nosam covers in the media thread if u wanna check it out! we gots a talented group here
masonfucker1000: i bet u can i can barely hold a stick.
a future seluj! charmed to meet u pre-fame. will def check out.
Mason headed to the media thread and clicked on one of the audio files Jules had uploaded. His eyes widened, and he turned up the volume.
Andrew, who had sat down in the far corner like the fucking loner he was, looked up at Mason as basslines filled the small space. "Hey, who's that? Not Chris, is it?"
Mason shook his head, mumbling, "Fan cover."
Andrew snorted, "Shit. That's good. You should show that to Chris when he gets back."
Mason played a few more covers, very impressed and a little doubtful.
masonfucker1000: c'mon. c'mon, jules. no way that's u.
familyjules: oh hell yeah that’s me. ask anyone on here i love playing so much. covered a few starlight songs too but i’m not as good at those yet. are u into them too?
masonfucker1000: sure, sure. u stripped from chris, admit it, jules.
fuck yeah! love those badass ladiesss!
familyjules: whoa, dude, i’d never. if anything i’d strip for austin. if stella wouldn’t kill me
masonfucker1000: pipe dream, jules. stella would 100% kill you. and then strip for austin herself.
Jules sighed wistfully at that image. They were both ridiculously hot, and Stella stripping was just a mental image to frame and make lifesize on the mantel above the fireplace.
familyjules: can’t even join them? damn. my dreams are gone. can i share mason w/you then, masonfucker? he’s the only single one of all of them... wait. does your username mean you’re his hand then? shouldn’t you have his hand as your pfp?
Mason's jaw dropped. "Holy fuck. I've never felt so roasted in my entire fucking life. Holy shit. Fucking— familyjules," he breathed a laugh, already typing out a response eagerly. Andrew rose an eyebrow at him, an action that Mason didn’t even notice.
masonfucker1000: shit! how could u do him like that? he gets plenty of attention other than his hand! lots of it! mason hill gets around! its basic info!
familyjules: ha! uses the other hand sometimes? ;)
Mason lifted his arms behind his head. "This fucker!" he laughed again, rubbing his hands down his face. This Jules girl was ridiculous. If only she knew who she was talking to but... no, not a good idea. He stared at the screen, frowning as he realized he really wanted to keep talking to her, forgetting to respond and tapping his fingers against the laptop. He flipped Andrew off when he kept staring at him, taking the laptop and laying in his bunk instead. He could easily just not respond, like, ever. It wouldn’t matter at all. Jules was just some random fan he’d stumbled onto online, who had no idea who Mason was, with whom Mason had only had half a conversation with. Hell, he usually didn’t even have more than a conversation with people anyway, always having so many he wanted to talk to. But it wasn’t ever like this. And it was stupid, really, how drawn he felt from just a couple hundred words on a screen, from a stranger. It wasn’t even a good font.
Mason pursed his lips, sighing quietly as he stared at the forum page, at the slight curve of Jules’ mouth in her profile picture. He abruptly switched tabs, checking his Twitter and replying to some fans. He Googled other fansites, ones he already had accounts on, and sifted through the threads, trying to find something else to do.
It was a bit before Elias responded again. Jules fucked around with other things on the site while he waited, scrolled through Tumblr, and then went back. He private messaged Elias, frowning a little.
familyjules: hey dude. just so you know i fuck with all the mason superfans like that. it’s way too easy to roast mason
Mason was startled when he heard a ping as he had finally distracted himself from familyjules. He hesitated barely a second before switching back, smiling as he read the message.
masonfucker1000: yeah its cool! got distracted. ur wrong tho. completely wrong. masons a regular manwhore
familyjules: cool all good. just wanted to make sure you weren’t actually mad! and trust me i know far too many girls on here have talked about seeing his dick
masonfucker1000: mad? over that? dont worry, bro, not at all
gh! and they all say his dick is huge. which is false. have u seen him in skinny jeans? he's got an average dick, ladies. an average dick with an above average heart
familyjules: damn dude. at least you’re honest unlike them. also sometimes it looks big so i wonder who’s right👀
masonfucker1000: average dick.
fuck im starving. what do i have to do to get some pizza up in hereeeee
familyjules: be mason hill?
familyjules: kidding! i’ll send you some
masonfucker1000: you be careful or ill end up taking your word for it!! i swear my stomach is going to start eating itself
They ended up talking for a bit longer, but then Jules had to sleep, which made Mason pouty. It was rare for him to enjoy talking to someone this much, but Jules had a late shift the next day and classes all day, so he said goodbye and logged off, promising to be back same time the next day.
♦️
It kept like that for a week. Jules talked to Elias whenever he could, along with his other friends. He felt drawn to Elias for some reason, compelled to let the mysterious user eat up all his time.
familyjules: so. mr. masonfucker. you’ve only got two things on your profile and it’s been a week. not even a small introduction to tell us about yourself other than you’d let mason have his way with you? i’m curious ;)
During the week, Mason had become gradually more excited every time he had the chance to be online when Jules was, which had thankfully been coinciding with after Nosam sets. He bit his lip as he read the newest message from her.
masonfucker1000: oh, youre curious? maybe i like the suspense ;) what about u, miss familyjules? im very curious about u. ur short bio is frankly not enough
Jules winced at the response. So Elias did think he was a girl. He could set him straight... but he knew nothing about this person except that he was cis and straight. He seemed cool, but Jules really didn’t want to deal with a huge messy fight on the site right now.
familyjules: hey, you know i live in michigan. and what i look like. and that i play bass and play hockey. i don’t even know what you do for fun, aside from stan mason. c’mon, dude
Mason groaned. God, he could just disappear right now, not talk to her ever again. But he'd be fucking bummed. Was he just lonely? I mean, tours got like that sometimes. Maybe he just needed stress relief, although that was off the table at the moment. Shit. This wasn't a... thing. Was it?
masonfucker1000: alright, alright! well, i do not live in michigan. i look like a burnt chicken nugget but i still love myself! i like singing and i've seen Real Steel abt a thousand times. how about that?
familyjules: real steel is awesome! and singing! maybe you should be in seluj with me one day. we’d take over the world, displace nosam
masonfucker1000: hell yeah! I'll let hugh jackman have at all this too 🥒🍆
displace nosam? ur blocked
masonfucker1000: kidding! totally up for it, let's go. altho it should be called saile, then
familyjules: hey, you’re the one who named it seluj in the first place! maybe we’re getting ahead of ourselves tho. havent even heard u sing. for all i know you could suck
masonfucker1000: thats where you're wrong, jules! that's where you're wrong! hold on
Mason paced the tour bus, considering his options. He had to show her he could sing. If he sang a song nobody had ever heard him do, maybe it would be alright?
masonfucker1000: uploaded suckonthisjules.mp3
masonfucker1000: go the distance! Hercules is my favorite disney movie. see? proof of my awesome talent and a fact abt me
Jules blinked in shock at the file, clicking play and leaning back. He listened, transfixed, picking at his lip.
familyjules: holy shit elias you sound a lot like mason. did you train your voice or what? there were a few places where you were off key but god damn. also hercules is so underrated
"Oh, fuck," Mason said as he read the response. "Wait— off key?" he glared at his laptop.
Andrew snorted. "A few minutes ago? Yeah."
Mason turned his glare towards Andrew. "I was not off key."
Andrew just laughed and shook his head, stuffing his face with chicken.
Mason frowned. It's not his fault his voice was a little strained after the show. No way he was gonna admit it, though.
He deleted the file he sent.
masonfucker1000: ah yeah, a bit.
and go to hell. off key, my ass! i told you I can sing. hercules is def underrated! yo where do u go all day?
Jules frowned when the messages shifted. He scrolled back up to find the file gone. “Oh, come on,” he muttered. How paranoid could this guy be? It was a fansite. Who cared?
familyjules: def off key a bit. you deleted the file because of it, i see you, devil 👀
familyjules: oh also i’m a working college student! class by day, waiting tables by night
masonfucker1000: i did not!
oh shit, nice! well, horrible, but nice. i bet you get good tips ;) what are u studying?
familyjules: you’d be surprised how bad the tips are. studying music and psych, but the psych is a minor
masonfucker1000: jules ill go over there and tip you, you'll be set for life. so ur serious abt music huh? what do u wanna do?
familyjules: so youre rich. another thing i know now. and hell yeah i am! i want to work w/ a recording company if i can, fill in bass. more freelance than i’d like but it’s something
masonfucker1000: 🤑
masonfucker1000: woah woah wait. ur settling! what would you like?
familyjules: settling? i don't call getting to play bass for a living settling
familyjules: what i really want tho is to play in a band but that's unlikely
masonfucker1000: uh huh
masonfucker1000: i knew it! c'mon, unlikely? you're as good as chris if you're not lying abt not stripping his bass 👀 maybe even better
familyjules: WHOA dude dont disrespect christo like that he's a huge role model!! i wish i could be as good as him
Mason smiled, getting up to bother Chris. "Yo, hey, dude?"
Chris looked up from his laptop, rubbing his forehead. "Huh?"
"You know that girl I've been talking to that plays bass. She says you're her role model and got offended when I said she probably plays better than you."
Chris smiled warmly. "That's sweet."
"No, but, listen," Mason showed him an audio clip of Jules covering bass for one of their songs. Chris furrowed his eyebrows as he listened, running his fingers through his hair as his jaw went slack. "Shit. What? Geez— don't even tell the guys, they'll replace me."
Mason laughed loudly, ruffling Chris's hair.
masonfucker1000: no disrespect to christo, i think you're incredibly good. u could definitely be better than him! u should try the band thing, bro, if thats what u really want
familyjules: maybe. i have some stage fright too but been working on that. what do you do all day, mr. masonfucker?
Aw, fuck. This was going to get frustrating for the both of them real quick. Mason didn't want to lie, but he couldn't tell her what he actually did all day. He could maybe explain that he was going to have to keep some (a lot of) personal information to himself? That would sound weird. Mason stared at the message, unsure what to do. He could be a bit of a dick and reply with a joke. Or something really vague. He'd only known Jules for a little over a week but he had a feeling he might not get away with that.
masonfucker1000: how've you been working on it?
masonfucker1000: and i think the more appropriate question is who don't i do all day
Oh, God, that was bad. He regretted sending that one. Mason found himself not wanting her to actually think he slept around all day. Or at all. Fucking hell.
Jules frowned at the reply. This was... interesting, he guessed. Or something like it.
familyjules: so you're a prostitute? that's how you have so much money?
Mason couldn't help but laugh at the response.
masonfucker1000: what! no no
Mason grumbled to himself, rubbing his hands down in face.
masonfucker1000: that was a stupid thing for me to say, sorry
masonfucker1000: i have a job that requires a lot of travel
familyjules: okay that makes more sense. a traveling prostitute. sounds fun! what places have u seen?
Mason rolled his eyes, smiling.
masonfucker1000: oh, aaaall oooover the world. in the US rn, tho! i could put on a show for u ;)
familyjules: maybe i'll take you up on that offer ;)
familyjules: hey im about to upload a new cover btw! it just finished uploading
masonfucker1000: oh, another masterful christo strip!
prologue | chapter two (coming soon!)
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