#im honestly not sure i could throw a £100 party without having money left over

[listen-to-the-inner-walrus]

do you ever just hear something and youre like we live very different lies?

because i just heard of someone spending 10k on a birthday party and im so damn confused. like where exactly does that money go?

i come from the wotsits in a bowl, £2 crazy straws and handmade decorations side of birthday parties. i wouldnt know how to spend 1k on a birthday party, how are you spending 10??????

[suckitsurveys]

Pretty sure this is like 7 surveys in one yikes.

On Saturdays, I like to… Attempt to sleep in, hang out with mark, order take out.

Where would you like to be a missionary to? I would not.

What’s better — toilet paper rolled over top or underneath? There’s literally no difference.

Which Scooby-Doo character are you most like (Scooby, Shaggy, Daphne, Fred, Velma, the monster, Scrappy?) Velma.

If you had to endure one natural disaster (i.e. hurricane, tornado, etc), what would you pick and why? Nah, I’m good. Chicago is pretty good about not having natural disasters so lets keep it that way. The worst we get is trees being knocked over and like 100 ft of snow.

What movie or TV show do you take guilty pleasure in watching? Teen Mom 2.

If you had to describe your day as a traffic sign, what would it be? Yield.

What traditional stereotype would you classify yourself as? I don’t know.

What “group” did you belong to in high school? I didn’t really.

If you wrote a book about yourself…what would it be about? ...About myself, obviously.

If your house were burning down, what would you take and why? I seriously dislike this question.

Describe your favorite pair of PJ’s. I just got fair isle pikachu pj pants that I am in love withhhhh.

How many handbags do you own? A handful. BUH DUM TISS.

If this were your last day alive, what would you say to your friends? I have no idea.

What is your very favorite part of your day? Sleeping.

What is your best scar? Tell the story of how you got it. I have very few scars and all of the stories are really mundane. The most interesting one is the teeny tiny one I got from stabbing myself while making cheeseburgers one time.

You win a million dollars, but you have to give half to a charity. Which charity do you pick, and what do you do with the rest of the money? The childhood cancer research charity of my friend Rebecca’s choice. She lost her 3 year old son to cancer in 2014, and childhood cancer is the least funded research out there. Then I‘d use the rest of it to buy myself a nice car and a place to live.

Describe your dream wedding where money is no option. There’s still a little part of me that wants a big wedding but it just seems like such a waste. The day should be about you and your partner and it seems so crazy to go through all that trouble and money to impress other people. Because that’s honestly what it is.

What kind of deodorant do you use? Secret.

Do you have a birth mark? Where? Does it look like anything? Nah.

You are planning the most awesome dinner party of your life. Which 3 celebrities/historical figures (past or present) would you add to your guest list to keep the dinner talk interesting? Aubrey Plaza, Tina Fey, and Matthew Perry. The sarcasm would be REAL.

What is your favorite sport, and which team of that sport do you cheer for? Baseball. The 2016 World Series Champion Chicago Cubs.

Which would you rather have a kiss or a hug? Why? Both are nice. Hugs are more comforting though.

If you could be a pair of jeans what style would you be?  Why? Skinny. Because then I‘d be skinny.

You have multiple personalities, describe some of them. Uh, no. Multiple personality disorder is a real thing and not just some funny survey question to list off your different “sides” or whatever.

What is the best thing you have done in your life? Witnessed my niece being born.

If you were blind for the rest of your life… what would you miss seeing the most? Jesus, everything.

What household chore do you hate the most? All of them.

What is your most disappointing moment in life? Just one?

When have you laughed the hardest? Cried? Dude, I don’t know.

If you had a “theme song” that played whenever you walk into a room full of people, what would it be? "IM BOSSY, I’M THE BITCH THAT YOU LOVE TO HATE”

What is the first thing you notice about the opposite sex? Nothing.

What time period from the past would you most have liked to live in and why? This one’s fine. There are lots that I would love to visit, but I’d never want to throw away our current level of progress permanently. <---Yup, I like this answer.

What is the best reward anyone can give you? Money is nice.

If you had a band what would you name it? Fleetwood Mac Sex Pants.

Do you like fruit? Vegetables? Yes.

What can someone do to encourage you? I don’t know. Pay me? Hahahahaha I need money.

If you could be one for just 24 hours, what cereal box cartoon character would you be? Why? Toucan Sam so I could fly around places and snack on Froot Loops all day. <---another good answer stolen from Kayla.

What was the best thing that happened to you this weekend? Last weekend we rang in the new year in Michigan.

What is your favorite animal? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Pandas. Cute, big, black and white.  

What is your favorite color? List three adjectives to explain your choice. Purple. Deep, appealing, pretty.

It’s a very hot and muggy day. You desperately want something very cool and refreshing to quench your thirst and revitalize your body. What would you drink — either make your own or store-bought. Water.

You discover that the person you’re head-over-heels interested in loves a good homemade & handmade dessert. What will you concoct when you have this person over? He actually doesn’t like sweet stuff, so I’d make him sushi instead.

What would you leave in your will for the person you care about the most? I don’t really have much to leave right now.

What do you consider to the most valuable thing you own: when you were a child/teenager/now? My laptop maybe? Or maybe my engagement ring?

What’s the kindest act you have ever seen done? I don’t know.

If you could have any job in the world, which one would you want? Professional sushi-taster.

What are your best/worst subjects in school and what subjects would you want to learn now? Blah.

What are you most talented at? Organizing, kind of. Also being a cool aunt.

What is your worst nightmare today? My grandmother is living in my house now.

How often do you clean between your toes? Whenever I shower, so a few times a week.

What is your favorite way to waste time at work without getting caught? Surveys, haha. I do a majority of these at work.

If you could have had the starring role in one film already made, which movie would you pick? Eh.

If you were to perform in the circus, what would you do? No thanks.

If you could eliminate one thing you do each day in the bathroom so that you never had to do it again, what would it be? Brush my teeth I guess. They’d just magically be clean.

You were just given a yacht. What would you name it? The Ramona.

If you could have been told one thing that you weren’t told when you were a teenager, what would you like to have heard? Eat better.

You’ve just been hired to a promotions position at Kellog Co. What would you put in a new breakfast cereal box as a gimmick? Pokemon figures, just because I’d want them for myself.

Just like “Everybody Wang Chung tonight!”, what action would your name be if it were a verb? Having horrible balance. Not really a verb, but a pretty broad use of the term haha.

Name your favorite song. Hold On by Tom Waits.

If you were to get a tattoo, what would it say or what would the graphic be? I’ve been kinda wanting a small W for the Cubbies. And I kind of want my Pikachu covered and then a different style done somewhere else.

If you could play any musical instrument, what would it be and why? If you already play an instrument(s), what do you play and why? Guitar I guess.

When trick-or-treating as a kid, was there any kind of candy that you didn’t like to get? 3 Musketeers.

Why do you live in the Washington DC area? I don’t?

What is your favorite memory of Christmases past? My niece’s first Christmas.

What is the most outrageous thing you’ve done for God? Not believing in him. Hah.

If a movie was being made of your life and you could choose the actor/actress to play you, who would you choose and why? Aubrey Plaza mainly so I could just meet her haha.

Paper or plastic? Plastic because those seem to be the ones with handles on them. Chicago banned basic plastic bags and now we have reusable ones but if you don’t bring them back to the store, they give you paper ones which don’t have handles.

What was the weirdest food you’ve ever eaten? I’ve had ostrich and alligator before.

What do you keep in the trunk of your car? I have some basic maintenance things in there. Not sure if I still do, but I had a snow shovel for digging myself out of parking spots.

When you were in grade school, what did you want to be when you grew up? Why? I think a vet.

If you owned a CB radio what would your “handle” be? I don’t know what that is.

If you were given 24 hrs to live, what would you do? I would wait until I had like 3 hours left, eat a SHIT TON of sushi and lobster and crab and then die right before the bill came.

If you were in the “Miss America” talent competition, what would your talent be? (Note: both guys & gals have to answer this question) Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaah no.

What do you think the most ultimate gift of the world is? Gift of the world? You mean in the world?

What is your earliest childhood memory? I have little memories of the apartment we lived in until I was 4. I was just talking about this with Ellen the other day. My most vivid one was from when I was about 4 and my parents had put a hook lock at the top of the outside of my sister’s door to keep me out when she wasn’t in there. I figured out how to climb on a chair, reach it, and lock my sister in her room one day.

What was your favorite TV show when you were growing up? Tiny Toons, Pokemon, and Garfield and Friends.

If you had one extra hour of free time a day, how would you use it? Probably doing nothing, hah.

What CD is in your CD player right now? I don’t own anything that plays CDs. Or CDs anymore for that matter.

The great theologian Andy Warhol stated that everyone gets 15 minutes of fame.  What happened during your 15 minutes? I was on Radio Disney once.

Name the most famous person you’ve had a face to face encounter with. I guess Dane Cook would be the most recognizable name. I saw him live when I was a young dumb kid and thought he was hilarious (ew) and he came out after the show and was trying to get to the table where he was signing things and my friend and I were in his way and he taps us on the shoulder and goes “excuse me ladies.” 

Name your favorite children’s story. The Witch‘s Christmas. And the Ramona Quimby books.

If you could spend 15 minutes with any living person, who would it be and why? Rowan Blanchard because she’s so amazingggggg. 

What person in the Bible do you most closely identify with? There’s someone named Hannah in the bible so I guess her? Or maybe Satan? He’s mentioned a few times, right?

What article of clothing most closely describes your personality? I have no idea.

If you were to write a book what would it be about? Nothing.

How many rings before you answer the phone? My phone doesn’t “ring” in intervals, it plays The Office theme song.

What is the first thing you think of when you wake in the morning? I don’t know, it varies.

If you won a million dollars, what would you do with it? I would save some and then buy myself a nice place to live and a car.

If you had to, what part of your body would you get pierced? I’m good with piercings.

Who was your favorite teacher and why? My Kindergarten teacher Mrs. Furuta. She taught us oragami and other fun art projects. She would also stage these “trips” to different countries where we’d pretend to fly on a plane and “land” and there’d be a whole like little “market” set up with crafts and food from that country. It was so cool. She taught my sister and her best friend too. We ran into her at said best friend’s son’s funeral and she has been keeping in touch with us ever since. She’s very very sweet.

What makes you feel the most secure? Mark.

Who do you admire the most? My friends.

Have you ever had a reoccurring dream? What was it? Yeah, I used to have a reoccurring dream about alligators.

What was your nickname growing up? Nothing really stuck but my mom would sometimes call me Fanny or Pooka 2 (My sister was the original Pooka haha)

Who was your hero when you were a child, and what did you do to be like them? My dad.

Peanut or plain? M&Ms? Peanut.

What is your favorite cartoon character & why? Brendon Small because he’s the best.

How did you learn to ride a bicycle? With my legs?

Based on something you’ve already done, how might you make it into the Guinness Book of World Records? Most croutons in a single salad.

What’s the closest you’ve come to becoming a pop star/winning an Oscar? Haha, wow, I’ve never been even remotely close.

When was the last time you did something for the first time? What was it? I took my niece to the movies alone for the first time the other day if that counts.

What is your concept of a fruitful day? Pffft.

What was your favorite thing to play with as a child? Why? Barbies. I liked making them into families and making up stories for them.

If you could be any animal in the world for 24 hours, which animal would you be? Why? Maybe a sea otter? Something aquatic that isn’t terrifying. I think it’d be kinda fun to just swim around all day. <---DUDE Kayla and I are the same person, except I’d probably just be a straight up fish.

Have you ever jumped out of a plane? Nope.

If you could rid the world of one thing, what would it be? My brother in law.

What is your best personal characteristic? I’m pretty good at planning stuff.

What is your favorite quote? “Love her, but leave her wild.”

If you could be invisible for a day, what would you do? Freak the fuck out of my brother in law.

What is your favorite weird food combination? Hmmm. I can’t think of anything honestly. I like a lot of “weird” food but not really weird combos?

If you had to be a flower, which one would you like to be and why? Gardenias so I could smell amazing all the time.

If you were stranded on a desert island, what three books and three people would you take with you? I’d take a book on how to make a boat out of sticks and shit.

My biggest pet peeve is… People who clear their throats every five seconds. <--- I AM LAUGHING SO FUCKING HARD BECAUSE THAT IS WHAT MY BROTHER IN LAW DOES @tapiooocasurveys you would HATE him so much holy shit.

What is your favorite commercial? What commercial annoys you the most? The most annoying one right now is the freaking Candy Crush one. I can’t think of a commercial I would call my favorite. I’ve always enjoyed the Geico ones. They are usually pretty cute and clever.

What’s the most interesting “Ice Breaker” Question you have ever been asked? Oh man, I don’t know.

If you could be an ice cream flavor, what would it be? Why? I don’t know. Vanilla because I’m white and boring.

Name a turning point in your life that makes you smile/cry. The day my niece was born.

If there were a holiday in your honor what would it celebrate? Me, of course.

What clubs were you a member of in High School? Are you still interested in any of the same things? I was in drama for a bit and yearbook.

If you were to be on a reality TV show which one would you be on and why? I’d be on a game show and I’d be on Chain Reaction because I am SO GOOD at that game. OR Idiotest because I’m pretty good at that too.

If you could be anything in the world, what would you be and why? Thinner.

If someone rented a billboard for you, what would you put on it? Um.

If you had to enter a competition for the “Most Uselessly Unique Talent,” what would your talent be? Ability to become super annoyed at survey question in 0.2 seconds.

If you were a Smurf, what would your name be? I’d imagine it would be like Hannah Smurf or something?

What is your worst personality characteristic? I get very distracted and then overwhelmed easily.

If you had to be a teacher of something, what would you teach? No.

How would you like to be remembered? Positively.

What is one thing that you constantly think about (other than material things)? My future with Mark. :)

What do you like best about your hometown? Idk, tall buildings n shit.

Something interesting you might not know about me is… I’m done with this survey!