#im having a shit morning and it's turning bitter because i love this woman

[1womanarmy]

Not to go off on a tangent but I think so many people don't understand that line 'hurt people, hurt people'. I will be the first to admit that Carol is not a good person she is a human.

She is so fundamentally flawed that I just wanna observer her under a microscope sometimes. There is a distinct difference in the way Carol is treated in the fandom by some people. They can forgive the truly heinous crimes of Negan but they can't forgive Carol's? Most of which she ALSO did in defense of her own people.

Don't get me started on the whole Whisperers arc and how people were bitching about how downright ERRATIC she was. Like yeah, she saw her son's fucking head on a pike and the murderer was still out roaming around and mocking her. All of her children fucking died. Her WHOLE LIFE was torn apart. This isn't even delving into the fact that most of her young life was spent with Ed of all people.

So yeah, if you can forgive the crimes of men then you need to forgive the crimes of women. That is all.

[animereaderinsertwriter]

Cupbearer (Eren/Reader)

Part III

Part I

Part II

Part IV (in progress)

Warnings: MINORS DO NOT INTERACT (im watching you, if you see this, begone!), vampire!eren, hunter!reader, fem!reader, smut, some amount of predator/prey dynamics but only kinda?? there is also a significant age difference but only cos eren is immortal and all that jazz. we're all adults here. there will eventually be smut.... and do i really need to say that there's gonna be blood in a vampire fic?

Description: A story of falling in love in 4 parts.

Eren is a bad man (well, a bad Creature) who has done bad things. When he meets the great-great-great granddaughter of one of his former friends in his favorite blood bar, however, he thinks it might not matter so much what happened in the past, so long as he can make the future something worth living to see.

Ao3 link here

After that night, it became increasingly hard for (Y/N) to leave, and for Eren to let her do so.

Something between them had changed. There were moments— when Eren would press feather-light kisses against her forehead, when he would casually leave a cup of her favorite tea where she would find it— where (Y/N) felt as though her heart might burst. It was all the little things that baffled her, all the ways in which he seemed to understand exactly how she felt; it was as though he knew her more than she knew herself. On the mornings that she would wake in his bed, sleepy and sticky and wholly content, (Y/N) wondered what it would be like to have this life forever.

Other days— on days like today— she was reminded exactly why that could never be, and it broke her heart.

Today, they had planned a romantic dinner in the park, an evening under the stars. It was supposed to be something special, a little getaway just for the two of them; they had wanted to leave as soon as (Y/N) was relieved from her patrol, so Eren had moved her things to his place, hoping that they could leave together from there for their evening alone.

In and of itself, that was fine… but when (Y/N) came in, covered head-to-toe in viscous Creature blood, Eren was furious.

“And you call me a monster,” he growled, looking her up and down with hate in his eyes. “I can’t believe you.”

He stood from his seat on the sofa, and (Y/N) began to back away, still wary from the fight she had narrowly escaped from unscathed. Her every instinct told her that she should run, fire a round of silver bullets into his chest, but she steeled herself, doing neither.

“It’s not my fault— they were attacking a civilian,” she told him as he stalked towards her, his face twisted into a horrific scowl. “I tried to stop them— tried to find out what was going on— but then they came at me with their claws, and I was left with no choice.”

“There is always a choice,” he snarled, and it was then that anger filled (Y/N) from the soles of her feet to the crown of her head. "They were probably terrified of you— how could you possibly blame them for lashing out?"

(Y/N) grit her teeth.

“This, from the man who thought genocide was his only option to the same problem?”

Eren made a low, warning sound in the back of his throat, but (Y/N) pressed on.

“You would rather me have died?” she demanded, stepping into his space. “Would it have pleased you more for my body to bleed out on the pavement, ripped to shreds by an aggressive werewolf? Would you even care, or would you just find the next blood bag and move on with your life?”

“Maybe so,” he shot back, “Then I wouldn’t have to deal with your insufferable mouth.”

That stung— but if there was one thing (Y/N) knew how to do, it was to strike back twice as hard as she had been struck.

“Fine then,” she said, turning on her heel. “I won’t bother you any longer. I’ll go out and find someone who actually wants my company, someone who’ll fuck me good and proper over the counter at some hole-in-the-wall bar over on Easy Street, someone younger, with a nicer cock and less fucking baggage— ”

She didn’t get to finish the sentence, or even walk a single step further— Eren grabbed her by the hair and pulled her to him, his fist painfully tight against her scalp.

“Wanna say that again, to my face?” he asked, tilting her head back.

“I’ll go find someone else to fuck me,” she spat, struggling in vain against him. “I’ll spread my legs for the next available schmuck in the closest bar I can find, so you can hear me scream his name and not yours.”

It was a low blow, to threaten a vampire’s claim on something they had previously assumed had belonged to them, but (Y/N) didn’t care. She had almost died today, and she’d be damned if she was going to take shit from anyone about what she had to do to survive. If Eren wanted a fight, she would damn sure give him one.

“Like hell you will,” he told her, pulling her head back so that she had to strain to remain standing. “You’re mine. Flesh of my flesh, blood of my blood— you are my Companion.”

"I belong to no one!"

Those words ripped from her throat and echoed throughout the empty house, and it was then that Eren stopped, looking at her with calculation in his gaze.

"You're right," he said, releasing her hair. "No mortal can serve two masters, lest they love one and despise the other; an archaic religious concept, but an accurate one nonetheless. You've made it abundantly clear where your loyalty lies. I was a fool for thinking otherwise."

(Y/N) began to tremble. "Eren, what are you saying?"

"I release you from our pact," he replied coldly, his eyes so dull and lifeless that it sent a chill down her spine. "No longer are you bound to be my wine-press— I free you from me."

"Eren—"

"Go," he commanded, and (Y/N) felt terribly, horribly empty.

Once, he would have told her to come freely, go safely, and leave something of the happiness she brought him; now, he gave her a cold dismissal, and it frightened her more than she was willing to admit. Still, she went, feeling hollow and used, and she didn't bother to shut the door behind her as she turned to walk home, weary from the day and sick from fighting.

***

Armin had lived for a very long time, but even so, he had yet to meet anyone so foul of temper as Eren when the Hunger was on him.

"Eren, you have to feed."

The vampire, as ill in health as in temper, glared weakly at him. "I'm not hungry."

"But you are Hungry, and don't pretend like you don't know what I'm talking about. Look, if this is about that girl—"

"I told you not to speak of her!"

Ah, so it was about her. By the looks of him, it had been two weeks since Eren had fed; Armin would bet that he hadn't seen her in the same amount of time.

"If I need to, I'll drag her here to make up with you myself," said Armin testily, "I refuse to watch my best friend starve himself because he refuses to feed on anyone else."

"You will not touch her."

Armin rolled his eyes, but didn't say anything further. He just patted Eren's arm in farewell and set about finding the little lady who was the root cause of his current consternation.

It took longer than Armin had anticipated to find the young woman who had, for all intents and purposes, completely unraveled Eren's composure; her scent, while thick and memorable in Eren's apartment, was hard to track otherwise. Armin spent two hours just wandering the city while trying to catch a breath of it here or there, and when he finally did manage to catch a whiff of her scent and follow it to her, he understood exactly why it had been so hard to track her down.

The girl was a Hunter, of all things.

When Armin found her, she was knee-deep in sewage, her knife embedded to the hilt in the skull of what appeared to be some species of winged reptile. Armin, having been a tad desperate and not actually having been expecting to find anything when he lifted the lid to the man-hole on 32nd and Main, was surprised to say the least— and when (Y/N) ripped her knife free and readjusted her stance into a defensive one directed at him, his surprise turned to intrigue.

“Er, hello there,” he said, scratching the back of his head. “I don’t suppose you’ll take my word for it that I just want to chat, will you?”

Curiously, the words gave the woman pause. She relaxed her stance ever-so-slightly, and then her eyes lit up with recognition.

“Armin Arlert?” she queried, craning her neck up to see him. “Is that you?”

This one grows curiouser and curiouser, he thought, but responded affirmatively.

“Can you give me a bit, then?” she asked, kicking the corpse of the Creature she’d just killed. “I’m not exactly fit for company. Perhaps we could meet later for a discussion over tea?”

“I’m afraid it’s urgent,” he said as she knelt to decapitate her prey— likely for proof of victory. “I think you know why I’m here, so you understand that time is of the essence.”

She didn’t look up at him as she replied.

“If this is about Eren, then I don’t have time to talk.”

Her tone was hard, bitter, and matter-of-fact, and it reminded Armin so much of Jean that it hurt… but just like Jean, Armin would bet that she could be won over by appealing to her inherent sense of human decency

“He’s suffering (Y/N),” he said, awkwardly crouching above the manhole so that she could better see the truth written in his eyes. “He won’t feed.”

“That’s hardly my problem.”

And oh, how well Armin knew that state of mind. If there was one thing Eren Jaeger knew how to do, it was push away the people who loved him most. Armin had dealt with that particularly lovely quirk of his for centuries, and it never got easier to deal with no matter how much time passed. If anything, it got more difficult the older they both got.

“When you’re the solution to a problem, you become a part of it whether you like it or not,” Armin replied, patient and understanding. “He cares for you.”

(Y/N) looked up at him then, fury in her eyes.

“He hurt me.”

Armin shrugged. “He hurts everyone he cares about. It’s just who he is. Nothing comes for free— least of all the love and loyalty of someone as old and as powerful as Eren.”

“Your heart may be toughened to his meanness,” she told him, the head of the creature she’d slain in her hands, “But mine is not, and I don’t like him well enough to willfully remain for him to use as an emotional punching bag.”

At that, Armin couldn’t help but let loose a wry grin.

“No,” he said, “I should think not; but I do think you love him well enough to make sure he doesn’t starve himself to death because he can’t have you.”

(Y/N) was silent for a long moment, then she crossed her arms.

“I won’t come crawling to him. He’s going to have to come to me.”

Armin grimaced. He wasn’t looking forward to that conversation.

“Is that at all negotiable?”

(Y/N) shook her head. “Absolutely not.”

Well, there was nothing for it.

“And you will let him feed if he comes to you?”

(Y/N) thought, then nodded. “If he proves himself deserving.”

Armin couldn't help himself; he laughed. Eren might have met his match in this one.

"Very well. I'll work my magic, and you work yours."

She nodded and bade him farewell, but before Armin left, he paused.

"Hey, (Y/N)?"

"Yes?"

"Thank you."

With that, he left her, ready to take Eren by the ear and throw him at her if he had to.

***

(Y/N)'s heart was racing as she opened the door, knowing good and well who would be behind it.

After her little talk with Armin— and the near heart attack he had given her in the process— she had called in to Zeke and told him she needed to go home to deal with an emergency. A replacement for her patrols had been sent, and she had come home to wash the grim from her skin, making herself as presentable as possible with the time she had. (Y/N) was worried, so worried, that the filth she had been wading in earlier would have left a lingering stench, or even that it had affected the taste of her; she had scrubbed and scrubbed until her skin was raw, hoping to erase every last remnant of her day from her skin…but as it turned out, she needn't have bothered.

Two, three, four hours later, and Eren hadn't shown— it was only now, right at the six hour mark, that he had decided to come to her.

Needless to say, (Y/N) was… less than pleased, but when she opened the door to find Eren pale and drawn, with dark circles beneath his eyes, her heart softened ever-so-slightly. It seemed that Armin was right; he had been suffering.

"You look like shit," she told him quietly, opening her door widely to let him in.

"I assure you, I feel worse," Eren grumbled, but stepped in as she closed the door behind him.

For a long, awkward moment, they just looked at each other, silent and unsure. It was unsettling how unlike himself Eren seemed; he was almost soft when he looked at her, and (Y/N) didn't know how to feel about it. Eventually, though, like two opposite ends of a magnet, they were drawn together, and Eren brushed a piece of hair back from her face.

"Hi," he said, his voice low and rough. (Y/N) caught his hand in hers before it could fall from her hair, and she pressed it against her chest, keeping it trapped there, touching the skin above her beating heart.

"Hey."

They watched each other a moment more before the dam broke between them, and they both spoke at once.

"I'm sorry."

A shared grin, a shy laugh— and then (Y/N) said what they both were thinking.

"You need to feed first, and talk later," she told him, her hand still clasped in his. "You're not off the hook, but I doubt we can have any real conversation with you like this."

Eren nodded gratefully, tugging at her wrist— his usual biting spot— but (Y/N) shook her head, indicating her neck. The thickest, richest blood, she knew, would come from there; and if there was ever a time to be generous with the placement of Eren's bite, she figured that it would be now.

The worst of it was over quickly. There was a brief sting at the intrusion of razor-sharp fangs, and then the vaguely uncomfortable feeling of having something poking down into places that decidedly should not be poked at all, but then (Y/N) quickly eased into the rhythm of the act, focusing wholly on the way Eren's lips felt against her skin. In a few moments, she would become pleasantly light-headed, and then Eren would pull away and look at her like she'd hung the stars. Oh, how she'd missed that look! (Y/N) found herself longing for it even before she quite realized it.

And then, without warning, a vision came, and (Y/N) was swept into another world entirely.

The evening sky rolled endlessly out towards the horizon; it seemed to go on forever, sparkling with more stars than (Y/N) had ever seen before. The full moon was so bright that it cast the whole world in what seemed like silver sunlight, and (Y/N) wondered how anyone could sleep on a night such as this. It was far too beautiful an experience to miss.

Alongside her— alongside Eren, through whose eyes she saw the world— strode Armin and two older-looking cadets who she recognized from previous memories as Reiner and Berthold. Eren was feeling anxious over something, and Reiner and Berthold were… well, they were kind. Reiner especially seemed to be like an older brother, and Eren admired him.

"You'll do just fine tomorrow," said Reiner, placing a large, warm hand on Eren's shoulder. "I'm certain of it."

The memory ended, and (Y/N) came back to herself as Eren's tongue laved over the wounds his fangs had left in her neck, sealing them.

"See anything?" he asked, his breath warm against her skin, and (Y/N) nodded.

"You loved them, too," she said softly, remembering the fondness Eren had felt as though it had been her own. "You loved the Hunters that tried to take everything from you, and— and I think they loved you, too."

Eren pulled away from her, and it was then that she saw the tears shining in his eyes.

"Yes," he replied, his voice broken. "We were children. How could we not love each other as God intended? Hate was never in our nature; it was an inheritance that we couldn't escape."

He paused for a moment, then spoke again.

"I'm sorry I hurt you," he told her, cupping her cheek in his hand. "I lost my temper. I forget— I forget that you're not them."

And (Y/N) understood. She understood that no matter how many centuries passed, there would be wounds that just wouldn't heal for Eren. He would lash out at things that wouldn't make sense to anyone who hadn't experienced the horrors of war as he had. Suddenly, she felt petty for having lashed out as she had, and guilt threatened to rise up and choke her.

"You're forgiven," she replied, leaning into his touch. "It takes two to tango— I shouldn't have baited you like I did. I knew how badly that would hurt you, and that's exactly why I said it."

At that, Eren cracked a grin.

"I expect nothing less from a Kirschtein. Your grandfather would have punched me square in the jaw— and as big as that bastard got when we were older, he probably would have put me on my ass."

(Y/N) couldn't help but laugh, and Eren joined her, their combined joy swelling until there was nothing else in the world but their happiness.

How they started kissing, neither one of them would be able to say afterwards, but in the grand scheme of things, it hardly mattered. Their love was too large to contain, too much to hold back— and it was love, (Y/N) realized, though she hadn't quite put words to it yet. She loved Eren Jaeger, a Creature, a monster, as much as her grandfather before her had and more. She loved him with a desperation that felt like being knocked over by an ocean wave and plunged into depths where her feet no longer touched the sand. She loved him more than she had ever loved anyone before.

And, as he placed her gently on her bed that was barely big enough for two, divesting himself of his shirt above her, (Y/N) thought that maybe she didn't mind it so much as long as he loved her in return.

"I missed you," said Eren, dropping kisses by her ear as he unhooked her bra. "I missed this."

"Me too," she gasped as his mouth wandered to her nipple, her hands fisting in his hair. "Oh, God, I missed you too."

The time for words was soon gone, however; Eren's sinful, sinful mouth traveled lower and lower until he was kissing at the insides of her thighs, parting them to access what lay between, and (Y/N) threw her head back as he spread her open with his hands and sucked brazenly at her clit.

How long he spent there, worshipping her sex, (Y/N) had no idea; all she knew was that she came once from his mouth on her and a second time from his fingers inside her, and when he finally, mercifully withdrew, she was broken down to the simplest parts of herself; there was nothing left but an affection so deep that it threatened to overtake her if she didn't let it out, and she did the only thing she knew to do to release the overwhelming pressure that was building in her chest as Eren pushed his big, veiny cock into her.

She told him what she should have said a long time ago.

"Oh, Eren," she gasped as his cockhead shoved deep inside her. "I love you."

As soon as the words came out of her mouth, Eren went unnaturally still. He looked at her with pupils blown wide inside emerald eyes, and his fangs slightly distended; in any other situation, (Y/N) might have laughed at how surprised he seemed, but it seemed as though she were frozen in time, unable to do anything but stare earnestly up at them, hoping he understood how much she cared for him.

"You… what?"

"I love you," she repeated, her body moving without her permission to roll her hips up into him, moving his cock even further inside her. "Please, Eren, I need—"

He cut her off with a forceful, bruising kiss, and his hips started making slow, deep thrusts inside her, her legs hiked up over his shoulders.

"Again," he said against her lips."Say it again."

"I love you."

Another thrust or two, a hand circling her wounded throat.

"Again."

"I love you, Eren."

"Again."

This time, it was only a whisper.

"I love you," she said, and Eren began fucking her in earnest.

"You are so fucking beautiful," he told her as he thrust hard and deep inside her. "You're every man's dream, a nirvana the damned such as myself were never meant to reach. (Y/N), you are everything, and I—"

He seemed to choke on the words, and (Y/N) kissed him as he tried to regain his composure.

"I don't deserve you," he said, shaking with the force of their passion. "I don't deserve your love."

It's not about deserving, she wanted to say, It never was, but then she was coming again, her climax contracting her walls around her lover, and it was all she could do to remain conscious as Eren fucked her relentlessly through it all, chasing his own high.

It was only later, after a shower and something to eat that they finally spoke again. They were back in bed, and Eren's arm was wrapped around her, as though he were afraid to let her go for even a moment; truthfully, (Y/N) thought he was asleep, but then his breath tickled her ear as he said,

"I love you, angel."

And that, (Y/N) thought, had been worth it all, in the end.

[quirklessidiot]

Title: coward :: obliviousness Pairing: Y/N x Miya Atsumu Genre: angst, romance, and very slow burn [ex to lovers au] Warnings: Cursing, alchohol, mentions of unprotected sex, unplanned pregnancy, and mentions of abortion

Synopsis: Atsumu seems nicer these days and you seem to see him more than before. Meanwhile, your kids meet someone they probably shouldn’t have.

notes:

three more chapters till the end!!! I’m so happy by all of the love! really! its definately been one of my favorite fanfictions to write since its angsty and im in love with angst stories skjsksksksks 

i think this chapter is the shortest one amongst the rest idk shhshshshs anyways i hope yall still love it wuwuwuwu. Hope you all are doing well and ilyasm!!!! have a gweat day!!!

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You thought you’d never see Miya Atsumu again but here he was, in your son's sports club, helping out Sugawara. Wasn’t it supposed to be volleyball season? What was he doing here? Helping the kids and picking up volleyballs? Didn’t he hate kids?

“...We train every morning and I personally train every night. You know my sched, it's what I did back then in college too.” He shrugs nonchalantly, “Plus I wanted to personally apologize to the brats too because of what ‘samu and I did.”

You tilt your head in curiosity, “What did younger Miya-san do?”

“Beat’s me, your brat told me that ‘samu made you cry when he confronted you,” he blinked, recalling the first meeting he had with the kid, come to think of it, they did had a pretty good reason to be wary of him from the start, “Must’ve said something really shitty if you cried, L/N-san. You never cried except that night at the frat party when I first actually got to talk to you.”

Nostalgia hits you when you recall that day, it was a shitty day indeed. The only upside was seeing and talking to Miya Atsumu for the first time and getting him to bandage your leg.

“Oh.”

“Oh indeed.” the blonde stated, wiggling his eyebrows, “He’s just overprotective sometimes which is weird since we used to get into fist fights. Doesn’t excuse him for being an asshole to ya though.”

“He was being rational.” You expressed, watching him pick up the last volleyball.

“He has no right to though.” he retorted, annoyed that you were letting it slide, “Let’s be honest here, who did you left six years ago?”

“What-”

“You left me.” He cuts you off, giving you no chance to talk, you’d think he’d sound bitter by it but he anything but that. It was as if he was proving a point, “And I’ll admit I was angry at first by what you did and how it ended but that doesn’t give my friends and my brother the right to intervene. I’m not a fucking kid, I know what I got into when we started dating.”

“Miya-san, I-”

“So let me make it up to you, alright? Before we started dating, I was your friend first. Now that we’re both responsible adults and you’re a single mom at least let your friend help you. You can handle that shit right?” He replied but before you could even agree to him, your kids went out of the comfort room, fully changed to dryer clothes.

“Kaasan!” They yell in unison but immediately stop in their tracks when they see Miya Atsumu standing next to you.

“What’s this jiji doing here?” Yuuto spat out bitterly, looking the other way. The younger twin followed suit and looked the other way too, making Atsumu laugh and bend down to their level, “I heard from your kaasan that you like to eat cake. How about a truce? I know a good place that sells good cakes.”

Yuuto and Youta eyed him warily and you patted the oldest twin’s head, “Baby don’t you have something to say to Miya-san too?” your voice was softer towards him, Atsumu still couldn’t get used to your personality switch with the twins. He watches in amusement as the twin tries to sputter out a sorry.

“S-so...sorry…” he frowned, “I should’ve been a big boy and not call you names.”

“Youta, you too.” You urged the younger one.

The other twin frowned and also had trouble apologizing to him like his twin, “S-Sorry...I won’t do the same…” he apologized under his breath.

Atsumu couldn’t help but laugh at the dynamic they seem to have created, at least they weren’t as close-minded as they were before, “No sweat, kid.” He said, “I’m sorry for making you feel bad and for what my brother did too. Now, let’s get that cake shall we?”

You hold Yuuto on one hand and Youta on the other as you head to his car, after helping the kids at the backseat, he opens the front seat for you, “Oh, um…” You blinked, the sudden feeling of embarrassment creeped in, “You didn’t have to-”

He rolls his eyes in reply, “Get in, L/N-san. I don’t bite.”

The boys were quiet at the back first until Atsumu tried to strike a conversation with them, “What made you guys like volleyball?”

Youta, being the more open one, suddenly jumps on his seat, “ ‘Kaasan has an old volleyball at home! We saw it and started asking her about it!”

“Oh?” he stops at the traffic light and stares at you, quite surprised since he never pegged you to keep something of his after the break-up, “Didn’t know you kept my old memorabilia with you.”

Yuuto’s eyes seem to widen when he hears that, “No way, that was yours?” he sputters out, shocked.

“Yeah.” he laughed, starting the car again when the light turned green, eyes crinkling in amusement, “Your ‘kaasan and I used to be very close before. I used to sleepover and leave some of my stuff at her place.”

“Hm.” you clicked your tongue, recalling those times when Atsumu would just come in your home unannounced like you both lived together, “He was incredibly all over the place and messy like you two.” 

“Wow!” Youta grins, seemingly excited, “What was kaasan like, jiji? I bet she was super nice and caring and a super good friend!”

The look of amusement never left his face as he agreed to the young boy, the rest of the ride was filled with Youta being overly-excited and asking Atsumu about you during college and about how you met him, “We were in the same class.” You replied, seemingly indifferent by it. You were used to this question before.

“Nope.” He replied, popping the p, an amused smirk worming its way to his face as he recalls differently since he never told you how he met you, “I saw your mom around a lot during the first few months of school.”

You were turned silent by his story, you didn’t know this part. You always thought that the first time you and Atsumu got acquainted was in that minor class you took during the second semester, “...I had also accidentally hit your mom with one of my serves while she was looking for a friend.” He recounts, parking the car in front of a very aesthetically-looking cake shop.

Your brows furrowed in deep thought, that was him? How come-

“Your ‘kaasan’s too famous, she probably doesn’t even remember the minimal interaction we had.” he joked, feigning hurt.

“Wow mom, I bet you must’ve hated jiji when he hit you with those super powerful serves!”

“She probably would if she remembered.” 

You take the kids out of the car but Youta was still too entranced by Atsumu that he went ahead and wobbled next to him. The tall volleyball player was nice enough to match the younger one’s pace as they walked towards the shop, “Traitor.” You heard Yuuto mutter as you trailed behind him.

“I thought you forgave him.” 

“Won’t stop watchin’ at him though, ‘kaasan.”” He grumbled but you can tell he was starting to slowly soften up to the blonde.

Atsumu (after much persistence) paid for the cakes and even got you a sugar-free one, Youta was very elated as soon as his cake was served and Yuuto was muttering something about how unfair it was as he started to stuff on hiw own slice, the blonde laughed at the contrasting personalities. They were so alike yet so different at the same time.

It reminded him so much of ‘samu and him back then.

“Oh, wait a moment. I have to pick up this phone call. Would you mind watching them for a sec?” You asked, Atsumu shakes his head to the side and he watches you exit the shop and take the call, the familiar expression of your creased forehead and narrowed eyes coming into play.

“Jiji, have you ever met our otosan?” Youta suddenly asks.

Atsumu feels his heart waver, this was such a heavy topic to ask but Youta didn’t seem to know the weight of his words. Yuuto was quiet this time too, observing him intently, the blonde setter suddenly cleared his throat, “I heard your kaasan met your otosan right after she graduated early and left me suddenly.” he tried to smile, looking unaffected, “So no, I haven’t met him.”

“Is that why you're mad at ‘kaasan?” Yuuto suddenly asks, head tilt to the side, “Because she left you su-suddenly?” The boy seemed to have a problem with longer words but he seemed very perceptive for his age. ‘Gee, were kids always this nosy?’ the blonde setter thought.

 “Did your mom tell you that?” Atsumu lilted, dodging the question well, munching on his cake.

“She said that she broke something really bad that you owned.” Yuuto disclosed, brows furrowed together as if he was thinking very hard about what you said, “And that she deserved it”

Silence engulfed the table for a moment as he felt his throat dry up with the new load of information, “Your ‘kaasan is a very strong woman,” he began. The boy's eyes,especially Yuuto’s, lights up at the compliment they heard, “And she doesn’t deserve anything bad. So when someone tries to do something bad to her, even me, make sure you give’em a good spike.”

“Really?”

“Really, kiddo.” He hums in agreement, “You have to protect your ‘kaasan since your otosan isn’t here anymore.”

Youta’s eyes flicker at the mention of their father, “Jiji, you’re so funny.” he laughs very suddenly.

Atsumu’s brow upturns at the sudden statement of the twin.

“Otosan isn’t dead.” Atsumu feels his shoulder tense at those words, it seems like the twins were giving him such a field day today with questions and new information, “ ‘Kaasan says that he’s off somewhere following his dreams and he’ll come back soon.”

Atsumu wants to ask about a lot of things.

He wants to ask about what Youta said, he wants to ask who the fucking asshole was, he wants to ask why you’re waiting for him when he left you hanging by a thread there with two kids.

He really does but when he drops you off at your home and a sudden troubled expression graces your features when you see an older woman standing there, he knows that it isn’t the right time. Instead, he quietly says goodbye and watches the interaction closely from a distance. A bit of worry filling him since he didn’t like that expression you were showing.

The twins didn’t seem to know who the older woman was but judging by her body language she knew you very well.

Come to think of it, her features were very familiar. Cold eyes, (h/c) hair, a very familiar facial feature.

Could it be-

“Y/N…” she tries to call out but you immediately walk past her, paying her no attention. He feels nervous, “Y/N, please don’t ignore me. I’m your okaasan-”

Suddenly he realizes why he has never met your family at all.

Judging by the interaction he sees, you were anything but close with them and that your relationship with them was stagnant (it probably worsened since you got kids at an early age and the father left you to dry). The kids probably don’t even know who that woman was, you continue to ignore her as you sons look at her warily.

When she starts to get physical, he gets out of the car and tries to stop the women from getting any closer to you and the boys, “What are you doing? Don’t you know who I am-” the woman tries to yell her way through but the blonde notices how you flinch away from her as soon as you hear her loud voice and hide the kids behind you as if you were protecting them.

“She doesn’t want to see you or have her near her kids, so please leave before I call security.” Atsumu tried to calm the situation down, not wanting to raise his voice, he could be wrong about his assumptions and he didn’t want to let your mom see him in a bad light.

“You don’t understand-”

“Obaasan.” his voice was anything but nice and friendly now, he wanted to try and respect the woman who brought you to this world, he really does, but right now he wouldn’t mind calling the cops on her if she resorted to making a scene here,  “Please leave before I call for security.”

Your mother grips on her expensive handbag tight and with one last glance to you, she immediately walks away. You don’t notice how you’re shaking and that Youta is crying behind you while Yuuto is trying his best to calm his twin down by insulting him and calling him a crybaby.

“L/N-san, are you-”

“I’m fine.” You cut him off, taking in a few deep breaths to calm you down, “I’m fine.”

He grabs your wrist and stares at you dead in the eye, “You’re shaking, Y/N.” He suddenly says your name softly, you're scared that if he goes nearer, he’d hear your ranging heart beat so you take a step further back and let go of his hold.

Atsumu narrows his eyes and tightens his lips at your response but decides against it, instead he turns to Youta and Yuuto, “I have a game next week and I got extra tickets, would you like to watch? The adlers and I will be playing, I heard one of ya likes Tobio-chan so much.”

Youta finally stops crying as soon as he hears the mention of free tickets and turns to a bundle of excited energy. Yuuto even starts jumping up and down at the mention of Kageyama Tobio. 

Atsumu still has a lot of questions for you though, about your family, why you haven’t mentioned them, or the fact that their asshole of a father just left you to fulfill his dreams (he’s angry, very angry especially about this one) yet when he sees the small smile on your lips as you watch your kids jump up and down.

He holds back.

Those questions can wait another day.

taglist [closed]

@fortheloveofiwaizumi ;  @svtbitch  ; @kiyoomile ; @lovedanii ; @juno-multifandom ; @gyubit17 ; @saeranoppa ; @nixxona ; @kyomihann @shorttstackk ; @intoomuchfandoms ; @yammmers ; @mx-minxx @itsmattsunshinehere ; @missingmystogan ; @volleybloop ; @imcravingyou ; @yams-wants-that-booty ; @liathachcapricious ; @pinknugget @seikamuzu ; @marigoldthoughts ; @sillykittt ; @baejinoffcl ; @alluring-akaashi ; @bnhasstuff ; @jungshookmeup ; @intheawks ; @bokuakadaily ; @agaassi ; @yams046  ; @dope-squish ; @chrisrue15 ; @vermillionwaves ; @demursv1ogs ; @just-snog-already ; @angmarwitch​

@misosamu  @Etherynaw  @ryaaaax @differentballooncollection @keniloveshaikyuu @allysasteaparty  [hi, i can’t seem to tag u guys, i think you need to open your tags uwu]

[fancyphoenix]

WHAT HAPPENS IF YOU TALK BAD ABOUT THEIR COUPLES. GUYS EDITION. Part 1.

Helia.

Random dude: You suck..

Helia: Ok.*unbothered king*

Random dude: Flora sucks, and she’s a basic bitch.

Helia *red anger eyes*: Uhhm? You come into my house... Disrespect my life and soul...hOw dArE yOu? Flora is a work of art, a masterpiece that you dumb motherfucker will never be able to appreciate. Please evaluate your life choices, and don’t you ever dare to talk about her like that: Are we clear? 

Random dude.* leaves scared and crying like a baby*

Riven.

Another random dude: Yeah, that Musa girl is so hot. It sucks that she has that phsyco boyfriend. Because I would defently smash her.

*Riven behind him, staring with a calm face*

Riven: I see you chose deat this morning ChAd *getting ready to beat the shit out of him*

Another random dude: I didn’t me-mean..

Riven: You’re lucky that is me that heard this, and not Muse. *about to punch him*

Another random dude: I-i...

Riven: *knocks him out*: Well that was easy. Oh, fuck. 

Riven*touching him to see if he’s alive*: Mehh he’s alive. SeLFIE!

Riven *does the selfie*: Oh, Musa is going to love this!

Brandon.

Random karen*whispering loudly to another karen*: Yeah I asked princess Stella about Solaria history and she didn’t now it, not to be brattie, but my Gretchen is more smart than tha princess. And besides I don’t know how Radius deal with such a daugther, and that poor boy friend. My Gretchen deserves him.

Brandon *keeping his cool*: Hi, would you accompany me?

Random Karen*trying to touch his face*: Oh, sure.You’re so handsome.

Brandon:Yeah I know. But I’m going to ask you to leave the castle.

Random Karen: Excuse me?

Brandom: Yes, excuse you. You’re a disgusting human beign. And I don’t want a sad bitter woman insulting my girlfriend in her own castle. Who by the way, she’s dosen’t need to know the history because she makes history everyday saving everyone ass. And I don’t know your Gretchen, but I feel sorry for her, if she has to put up with your bullshit. Stella is ten time smarter than you, right now your wearing one of her dress colection, which by the way not even the dress can help you with that tucan nouse. And don’t you worry about the king and Stella, they have a perfectly good relationship. And the saddest part if you think I feel poor besides my golden girl, I can assure that she makes the happiest men ever. And I don’t give a shit who you’re, because if you say something about her one more time I will kill you with my own hands. Now leave.

*The Karen leaves quickly*

Brandon: Now, lets find another sandwich.

Timmy.

Random mean girl: Yeah, she’s like a computer. You can hear her bip, bip.

Random sidekick mean girl: Oh my gosh you’re so right, she’s such a nerd.

Random mean girl: Besides they she’s speaks it sounds like im talking to my phone. 

Random sidekick girl:Tecna is such a loser.

Timmy:* opening his computer with a side smile*

Timmy:*hacking everything of their computers*

Timmy:*posting embarasing photos of them*

Random sidekick girl: WhAt just happend?

Timmy: I think you guys got hacked.

Random mean girl:Fix it!

Timmy: I’m sorry i didn’t knew how i do it, it just clicked it self. I’m so sorry “NERDS”.

*leaving with a big smile*

Nabu.

Random racist piece of shit: Yeah, she one of the winx girls. I think they have her for petty. She’s hot, but don’t get me wrong. She sucks at misions. Princess Stella had to save her ass like two time’s the last mision I saw in tv.

Nabu*passing by but hearing everything*: Yeah, what a shame of women. I mean she’s like super badass in the mision right? I mean she can go trought water like nothing. Oh I forgot you hate her just because she’s black. Listen to me racicst motherfucker, educate yourself. And don’throw shit at my girl. Because the next time I hear this kind of comments, you will become literally a fucking rat.

* The racisct guy leaves but no before laughing an pretending he’s not scared*

*turning him into a rat anyways*

 Nabu:The sad part is that he already is a rat, poor dude.

Sky.

Random shithead: So yeah, I can believe that she’s the leader of the winx, she’s so self-involve. Like so annoying.

Sky:Who are you talking about?

Random shithead: No one.

Sky: Ok, bye.

Sky: * taking off his phone*

Sky: They’re not allowed to come near Erakleon ever again.

[incorrect-miraith-quotes]

(A/N yes, this is an incorrect quote acc but I can write actual good stuff too 😳)

Drinks and Sunsets

7:00 AM (3 hours before the match starts)

“Renee!! Wake up please, there is breakfast!” Natalie shouted at the closed door infront of her. Renee had fallen asleep at an ungodly time trying to find out more about herself and well, it didnt work out the way she wanted. She groaned, squeezing her eyes tight while moving her arms up. She stretched and eventually popped her shoulder which caused her to scream but not really scream if you understand what I mean. She cursed at herself for not going to sleep earlier knowing that there was a game today. She sat up, shading her eyes from the window that shown the bright sun. Her head turned to the door when she heard knocks coming from the other side. “someone’s there” Renee’s voices whispered, echoing throughout her ears. “No shit sherlock,” She hissed.

“Wra- I mean Renee~ wait no- sorry. Renee are you gonna eat?” Elliot sputtered, clearing his throat. “Depends on what it is,” She sighed. “It’s uH..pancakes I think? I dont know, Ramya was chosen to be the one who cooks today. They looked..burnt,” He explained, shuddering from the thought of Ramya’s pancakes. “I guess, give me a minute to get dressed and I’ll head out. Wait for me?” Renee asked, getting up and walking to her dresser. “Uh..yeah, yeah I’ll wait for you. Dont worry about a thing..you worried cause I’m not..haha..ha..,” Elliot trailed off, sliding down to the floor until he hit his arse on the concrete. Renee chuckled to herself in his stupidity and got dressed. She wore a black tank top with short grey shorts and her black sneakers with her ankle high socks (black of course). She unlocked her door and peered over to the tall man crouched next to her door, falling asleep.

“Wake up Elliot, I thought I was the one to wake up hm?” She flicked his forehead, causing him to rub the spot where he was hit. “Ow ow ow- Why??” Elliot questioned, confused as to why he was hit. “You were gonna start drooling so..anyways, breakfast?” Renee pulled him up, almost falling backwards. “I mean that’s why I’m here right? Right? i hope Im right..,” Elliot trailed off again, starting his journey towards the kitchen with the small woman behind him. Everynow and then he would peek back to make sure she was still there and not inside a portal. “You’re safe with him” Renee looked up at Elliot, the voice echoing throughout her mind. “You like him dont you” Renee looked up at the ceiling and scrunched her face in annoyance, internally screaming at the voices. “I don’t, you guys always assume things,” she whispered, looking at the random framed pictures hung up on the wall. “Elliot!” Renee shouted at the still walking man. He jumped slightly and flinched, “y-yeah? What’s up?” “Kitchen is right here doofus,” She nodded her head towards the room, “How did you manage to miss this big ass room??” “I guess it was an accident, never done that before haha,” He sighed and apologized. The so called pancakes were sitting on a top of a white ceramic plate, getting colder by the minute. “I wouldn’t even dare to try them..I mean you could but- It probably wouldnt be good..,” He walked over to the counter, “If you want, I can cook somthing up for you?” “That would be nice thank you and uh..can you make me some coffee? You know how I like it already,” She sat down at the large dinner table, laying her head down. “Yeah I can do that for ya, anything you want in particular?” Elliot asked but was met with silence. He peeked over and saw she was sleeping soundly with her head in her arms. Elliot took off his sweater and draped it over her shoulders then went back to the kitchen.

8:37 AM (1:30 hours before the match starts)

“Breakfast is ready Renee,” he shook her gently until she stirred, “Mornin’ beaut- I-I mean um..sleepyhead..? Yeah..that’s the word..sleepyhead.” “Mmm..mor-“ She clears her throat and rubs her eyes, “morning..sorry I fell asleep I just didn’t get enough sleep last night.” She looked down at the scrambled eggs and toast that were neatly placed onto the plate infront of her. “It’s fine, I didnt wanna bother you because I thought you’d kill me,” He admitted, taking off the apron that was tied around his waist. He placed it on the hook next to the fridge where a stickynote was left by Octavio not to touch his jello. The only person he let touch his stuff was Natalie. Renee picked up the fork and began eating. “You should date him” “No,” She whispered, furrowing her brows as she picked up a piece of egg with her fork. She watched as the tall man made her coffee just the way she likes it; black with a little bit of sugar and creamer. She was never one to like sweet coffee like everyone else. He poured the jug’s contents into her prefered mug. He added the little things she liked and carried it over to where she was sitting. She thanked him with a small, almost unnoticable, smile. Renee sat there with her cup close to her nose, smelling the bitter coffee aroma. She cooled it before sipping it slowly, enjoying the taste of her morning coffee.

“Hey Elliot, do you know what time it is?” She questioned the other who was washing the pan. He checked his phone and replied, “8:52” Renee stood up and brought her plate to the sink after she was done eating. “Could you wash these for me? I need to freshen up in my room,” She handed him the plate, “thanks.” She started making her way towards her room; which consisted of one right and a lot of walking straight. But she never got tired of it since she was happy she lived comfortably with her friends. The 2 rooms that were next to hers were Natalie’s and Ajay’s. The boys were on the opposite side so in front of her was Elliot. The hallway she lived in held 6 legends at a time 3 girls, 3 boys. Renee’s hallway had Ajay, her, and Natalie and then Octavio, Elliot, and Tae. The others had their hallways, some with empty rooms for future legends. Natalie was never really in her room since she was always with Octavio. It was weird, seeing two polar opposites living together. Then there were Ajay and Tae, she managed to make friends with him. I’m pretty sure Tae is still annoyed but is warming up to her.

“Oh! Youre awake finally,” Natalie smiled, walking out of Octavio’s room, “You never woke up so I had to get Elliot to help me..” Renee stood there at her door with the key in the slot, “Yeah, Ive just been...thinking.”

“Hm, well I hope you get some more sleep. Oh and goodluck with the match today!”

“You arent participating today?”

“Non, Ive been feeling unwell for the past few hours”

“Why aren’t you in bed then?”

“Well, Tavi was getting Ajay but he hasnt come back yet”

“You should be resting Nat..”

“Im okay I swear! Pas besoin de s'inquiéter,” She smiled softly and weakly. She was still in the large shirt Octavio gave her to sleep in and pajama pants. She had a small nessy plush tucked into her elbow, being squished tightly. “Chica! Get back in the bed right now or else im going to llevarte allí yo mismo,” Octavio came back with soup and meds, shouting at the sickly girl. “Ah, Tavi.. Je suis désolé I was just wondering where you were.,” She hugged the plush closer to her fragile body. “Come here conejita, lets get you better,” He lifted her up into his arms, still carrying the supplies Ajay had given him, “When you are done being sick I am going to....”

“Lovebirds,” Renee sighed and closed the door to her room, preparing for the match ahead of her. She got her battle gear on and re-did her messy bun into a neat one. Her kunai rested on the counter, untouched in its holster. She picked it up and unsheathed it, smiling at the small sparks of void that emitted out of it. She put it away and hooked the holster to her belt. “You know you wanna be like them, you cant deny it” The voices teased. “You guys really want me in a relationship huh,” Renee flopped backwards onto her messy bed. She didnt have time to make it in the morning but now she can. She checked her phone and scrolled through her social medias. Elliot made her download them and every now and then, Elliot will make her post a picture or something. She always got tagged in fanart and random posts about her in the matches. She would occasionally like some and they would freak out and thank her. She scrolled through her tagged until she came across one post. It was fanart of her and Elliot, sitting together with their hands intertwined watching the sunset. Renee blushed slightly at the art. She saw that Elliot had already liked it, but seeing as he likes all posts that he got tagged in, it wasnt weird. She hesitantly liked it and turned off her phone. “Maybe I do like him” Her thoughts were interupted when someone knocked at the door.

9:34 (couple minutes until the match starts. The ship still has to arrive at the arena, World’s Edge)

“Renee! Get yuh ass over here ‘cause the match starts soon!” Ajay’s voice boomed through the door. Her footsteps could be heard on the other side as she walked away. Renee stood up and stretched while walking towards where Ajay just was. She opened the door to see Elliot walking out of his room. “Oh hey Ren..can I call you that? Im gonna call you that..anyways, hi. Wanna walk together?” She nodded, “Okay cool, lets start heading over before everyone leaves without us.” They walked in a comfortable silence over to their friends. Octavio was in a corner moping since he didnt have his love interest with him while Crypto spied on him from another corner. He was still mad that Nat rejected him a few weeks ago to be with Octavio. It was crazy hearing that he was sulking around in his room for hours on end. But back to the main girl in this story, Renee sat down on one of the couches that sat in the middle of the room. Everyone was ready to board the dropship to head over to the arena. Here is what was going around, Gibby and Ajay were laughing together,Octavio was..unenergetic for once, Tae was in the corner, Loba was fixing her nails while Rev watched her on the wall, Alexander was playing around with his gas, and lastly Ramya was chewing gum while playing on her phone. It was always bustling in the living space because its where everyone socialized other than the bar. A small yet loud alarm was sounded to let all the legends know it was time to board the dropship.

“Woo-hoo! It’s finally time to go,” Octavio said unenthusiastically. Everyone walked in one-by-one or in pairs. They all strapped up in their skydiving equipment and was prepared for the long drop ahead of them. Renee stood next to Elliot’s room in the ship while the others either went to their rooms or sat in the middle. (Reference back to the season 3 trailer for room placement) Renee was flippping her kunai peacefully while Elliot rambled about something in his room. She enjoyed listening to him talk about nonsense while the quiet humming of the ship was surrounding them. It was peaceful, atleast to her. It blocked out most of the voices and when she was around Elliot they seemed to shut up and occasionally tease her. The drop ship shook a bit and Elliot tripped a little but caught himself. Renee didnt mind turbulence since she didnt really care about anything really, she tenses up a bit sometimes but thats about it. Her scarf end swayed as the ship lowered slowly. Suddenly the screens flashed on and displayed everyone’s banners. Everyone gets a chance to customize and submit their banners to headquarters. The teams were as listed,

Lifeline, Crypto, and Gibraltar

Octane, Caustic, and Bloodhound

Mirage, Wraith, and Loba

Revenant, Pathfinder, Bangalore

Rampart

Everyone stood on their respective platforms also known as where the screens flashed their names. The champions were shown not even a minute later, Wraith’s team was shown and she said a voiceline to taunt her enemies of the day. The metal shifted under their feet and lowered slowly, revealing the bright, cold arena. Everyone at this point was used to the cold though, they were glad it was world’s edge because kings canyon during those months was scorching. Comms were switched on and everyone tested out the mics. Everything was set up and ready to go so teams started dropping towards their locations. Wraith was jumpmaster and pinged on the map, Fragment West. Everyone knew both of Fragment was dangerous and it was hotdrop that game too. You can bet that there were multiple death boxes surrounding the small yet large area. Wraith was already kill leader with 7 kills from the popular spot. Bullets were heard in the distance and Wraith portaled to gain some speed while Loba teleported and Mirage had to run. He wasn’t a running person for long distances so he just took wraith’s portal.

“W- Wait up you two! I dont have a movement ability!!” He cried out to the two girls. The two looked at eachother and giggled while looking back at the energy drained man. “Danger move” Wraith looked around and pinged an enemy and phased away out of danger. Again, Loba teleported away and Mirage was left alone to run away. They hit him good but he managed to get behind cover. Wraith lended him some shield cells and syringes and shot at the other team with her sentinel. The other team was Octane’s team and they were stacked; Octane had gold armour while his teammates had red evo. Octane also had a peacekeeper that he got from a carepackage just next to them. It was a long fight, from gas being thrown on them to the ring closing in on the two teams. They had been fighting for so long they didnt even realize that there were only 3 teams in total left. Wraith’s team, Octane’s team, and lastly Pathfinder. I would say Pathfinder’s team but his teammates died and the banner timers ran out, he was left solo.

“Everyone try to watch your backs, the robot could try to ambush one of us,” Loba turned to face her teammates, occassionally looked up and around for the tall simulacrum. “Spotted him, up there. He has a longbow and what seems to be a flatline on his back. I could snipe him down if that’s what you want,” Wraith calmly called out, pulling out her sentinel and charging it. “Go ahead beautiful,” Loba replied. In an instant, a loud, charged sentinel bullet was shot and killed the robot up on the hill, instantly eliminating him. Now, it was just Octane and Wraith’s teams left to fight. “Nice kill Re- I mean,” He cleared his throat, “Nice kill Wraith..” Wraith smiled and thanked him silently while eyeing down the other team. Seconds went by and both teams rushed eachother. Bullets whizzed by eachothers heads and occasionally hit their shoulders or legs. Octane’s team was low on meds while the other team was low on ammo. Another minute of fighting passes and Wraith’s team is deemed the champion. When they were back in the drop ship everyone congratulated them for winning even though they were in a tight spot. There was an after match party happening in an hour so everyone went back to their rooms to clean up after a long day and get dressed. Renee was first to her room to take a shower while the others stayed in the kitchen or hallways sparking conversations with eachother. While Renee took her cold shower, Elliot decided it was be such a good idea to just waltz into her room to ask her a question not knowing that she was relaxing without voices for once.

“Hey Renee! I was just wondering if you wanted to match for the uh..,” He paused, looking around, “Renee? Where are you??” He looked around the empty yet messy room. Clothes thrown everywhere and notebooks and hairties were strewn about. Her messy bed showing how much she slept that night, which it wasn’t much. He began to worry about her well-being and if she even actually took care of herself. He heard the loud shower running so he went and knocked on the bathroom door. But before he actually knocked, he thought about the things that could happen if he knocked on her bathroom door when she didnt even know that he was in her room. He’d be killed. Before he knew what was coming he accidentally knocked on the door infront of him like a reflex. He heard the girl inside gasp loudly with a few things dropping. He startled her, which was a first for him. He was in shock and did not want to move. “She’s like a T-Rex, if I dont move she cannot see me-“ He was cut off when the door swung open and a semi-dryed off Renee was standing in-front of him. She had her body wrapped with a towel and her still damp hair dripped along the floor and her scarred shoulders.

“How are you in here and what do you want,” She said firmly with an annoyed face. “One, your door was open, two, I wanted to ask if you wanted to match outfits for the after match thing..,” He sighed looking away, “Nevermind, it was a dumb question of course you dont.” He turned and apologized but before he could leave the room Renee stopped him. “Who said I didn’t want to? I wouldn’t mind matching with you,” She stepped over to her closet and sifted through the dresses section, “What color or style were you thinking of?” Elliot was astonished that she actually agreed to do anything with him. “I was thinking accents of purple..? I think it would look nice on both of us,” He sat down on a nearby chair in her room, looking away from her slender body. “Fine with me, now turn around,” She made sure he had his eyes closed and was turned around in order to change. She dropped the towel and peered back just in case. “You want him to see you” “Tell him to turn around” “Let him touch you” The voices were surrounding her but she managed to ignore them. When she finished getting dressed she had Elliot turn around.

“Wow..,” Elliot had no words for the sight in front of him. She wore a long black dress that had a slit on the side with a fluffy, purple boa draped over her shoulders and she was wearing heels making her as tall as him. She played with her hair a bit out of embarrassment while looking away. “You look..amazing,” Elliot was admiring her features that he acted like he’d never seen before, “I just- have no words.” “I dont look that good relax,” Renee walked over to her dresser and put on a necklace that had a purple gem in the middle. “Are you going to just stand there and not go to your room and get dressed?” Renee peered over at him from the mirror. “Right..right yeah, Ill be back to ‘pick you up’,” He opened the door and quietly shut it behind him. She sighed and thought out loud, “What am I going to do about him?” She put her hair in a half bun-half hair down sort of style and finished her look with mascara and a slight tint to her lips. She slipped on short black gloves and grabbed a clutch that had small purple accents on it. “He will like it” “For once you look nice” “People are going to judge you” “Nobody will approach you” “People are going to hate you” The voices started off nice but went downhill and piled hate after hate onto her. She pushed them away and mumbled to herself that tonight will be a good night. Light knocking was heard and she went to open the door, her heels clicking with every step.

“Ready to gooooo-“ He looked her up and down and smiled, “You’re beautiful” He tucked a stray strand from her hair behind her ear, “Let’s be on our way before the limosu- limosio- limo gets here.” He held out a hand and she gladly took it. They held hands for most of the way until Renee let go to check her clutch for something. She pulled it out and checked it before slipping it back in. It was her Apex ID, aka the only way to get into Apex events. You can be one of the legends but they wouldnt let you in without it since people knew how to look almost identical to them. She didn’t regrab his hand after that, she wanted to make sure no one saw. When they got to the front of the building everyone was in their formal attire. Octavio was wearing a green suit top with tailored shorts to go along with it and Natalie wore a white party dress that had orange and blue accents, Anita was in a classic suit talking to Loba who was in a short gold dress, Crypto was in a white suit with green accents, Rampart was in a blouse and office pants, Gibby was in a suit while Ajay wore a long blue dress, Bloodhound wore their goggles along with a suit that had a red cloth in its pocket, and Alexander wore a plain black suit. Revenant doesn’t dress up he said. Pathfinder simply went as himself for the night. After a couple minutes of waiting the limo drove up to the curb of the building. Everyone piled in close together and began conversations with eachother. Elliot and Renee sat really close together due to the limo being quite small for a bunch of legends. Some minutes pass and Renee’s eyes are starting to close. She finally let the sleepiness take over her and her head softly fell onto Elliot’s shoulder. He looked over at her and smiled. Most of the legends eyed them and mouthed for him not to move one bit or she would murder him.

“Elliot..,” Renee mumbled in her sleep, “I..love you..” The small sentence was only heard by the man allowing her to sleep. He tensed up but relaxed as her arm draped over his. The limo pulled up to the event center and a red carpet was dramatically rolled out for the legends. One-by-one everyone was walking down the red carpet either together or solo. Im guessing you can guess which ones walked solo. Elliot nudged Renee and she slowly opened her eyes. She yawned quietly and her eyes met his. They looked at eachother and then she backed away, standing up. She turned away and quickly walked out of the limo and Elliot followed shortly after. Elliot caught up and walked beside her while she covered her eyes from the flashing of the cameras. He enjoyed all the attention on him but Renee never did. He realized what was happening and walked directly infront of her, taking the spotlight. The taller put his hand behind his back and Renee allowed herself to grab and squeeze it lightly. He led her somewhere private and sat her down on a wall away from everyone else.

“You okay? I know you dont like the atten- attentin- eyes on you,” he knelt down, matching his eye level with hers. “I’m fine, you dont have to worry about me so much you know,” She sighed and leaned back slightly, “Let’s just get back to the others before they think were fucking or something.” Elliot offered a hand but she declined, pushing herself up from the wall. She swayed her hips with every step she took towards the doors. Her dress flowed down neatly from her waist down to the carpeted floor. He watched her walk away as the boa she wore bounced with her strides. “W- wait up Renee!” He yelled, fast-walking towards her but she was already through the doors. When he made it through, it was bustling with legends from other ports and random game organizers. There was loud music playing from speakers up above and most of the legends were by the bar including Anita and Loba. Others were either on couches or talking near walls with each other. There were people dancing in the middle of the room where flashing lights and more sparkled along the area. His eye caught the bright purple boa from across the room.

“Hey Ren, glad I finally found you,” He sat next to the now relaxed woman, “Let me guess, appletini?” She gave a side-glance towards him while she sipped the drink he guessed. It was her usual at the Paradise Bar so it wasn’t weird. Minutes went by and the found themselves laughing at eachother from stupid jokes and random stories. A slow-dancing song played on the speakers and everyone got with a partner.

“Wanna go dance with me Ren?” Elliot grabbed her hand, pointing to where everyone was partnered together. “I can’t really dance Elliot, I dont know if I could do it,” Renee responded back to him, covering her face with her boa. “Oh, come on you can’t be that bad at dancing. It’s not that hard, come on I’ll teach you,” He grabbed her hand and pulled her off the seat to take her over to everyone else. He brought her to the dance floor and held her close, guiding her hands to where they were supposed to be. He placed her hands on her lower waist and swayed side-to-side with her. “See? I told you it wasnt that ha-“ He winced as she stepped on his foot, “It’s fine, I forgive you since you’re a beginner.” She apologized anyways and held him closer. As the song came to an end everyone seperated except for them.

“This is nice,” Renee pulled away from his arms, “Want to go somewhere more..quiet?” Elliot’s face contorted to a confused yet happy expression. “I know just the place Ren!” He grabbed her hand and practically sprinted out the doors with her, bringing her to a cliff just off the side of the road. He sat down far away from the edge and patted the spot next to him, signalling for her to walk over and sit next to him. The sun was setting and it was the most beautiful thing that Renee had ever seen. “Oh wow Elliot..I never knew about this spot,” She couldn’t stop gazing at the orange and red hues surrounding the hot ball of gas. “My mom would take me here sometimes, from the sunset, the sunrise, and the stars oh my god the stars. She’d make them so amazing but one day she got so sick and she couldn’t take me anymore. So everytime we get to come here I come out here, to escape the whole legend thing and relax by myself. But now, I see two pretty things infront of me..the sunset and well, you,” He gently grabbed her hand and her reddish face was hard to see in the dark. She turned her head towards him and he smiled softly. “This reminds me of something I saw today, a post with a drawing of us. There’s just one thing missing to complete the scene I believe,” Renee saw him thinking and it looked like a lightbulb just turned on in his head. He leaned in and so did she. They closed their eyes and-

kissed

The scene matched the vibe of the social media post that Renee had randomly come across. It was a strange feeling to Renee, for she had never felt this way towards anyone before. Atleast, not a time that she could remember. Elliot had a goofy smile plastered on his face afterwards. She grinned and leaned on his shoulder as they gazed at the stars that started to peek from the horizon. “Alright yuh lovebirds, get yuh asses inside before we leave without yuh guys,” Ajay leaned against the door, watching them. “Oh, alright. We’ll be right there Ajay,” Renee looked over her shoulder to the other girl and smiled softly. Ajay nodded and closed the door behind her. Elliot was the first to get up and then offered a hand for Renee to grab. She gladly took it and he hoisted her up to her feet. She brushed off any dirt that may have gotten onto her dress. As they went back inside, no one really looked at them apart from quick glances. Anita signalled to them over at the entrance that they were leaving the event. They held hands as they rushed over to the group, not wanting to let go of eachother. Anita counted them and led everyone back to the limosuine so they could pile in the same way they did when they arrived.

(Back at the Apex Dormrooms)(Specifically Elliots Room)

The two were sitting on top of the bed in Elliot’s room, talking. Everyone had just got back to the dorms and they had rushed out so they could get some privacy. “So..what are we now?” Renee turned towards Elliot, who was fidgeting with his hands. He looked up and shifted into a more comfortable position to look at the girl next to him. He looked back infront of him and flopped back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling. “Whatever you want us to be, Ren,” His eyes glanced at her features from the angle he was in.

“I want to be...more than friends-“

“Best friends?”

“No-“

“Best best friends..?”

“Elliot-“

“What?”

“I want to be together, as in I want us to date and do things that couples do,” her head turned towards him. “A-are you sure?? I-I-I mean I dont think Im that bad at being a boyfriend but are you really sure you want to be in a rela- rele- be with me???” He stammered, not knowing what to say. “Yes,” was all she had to say when Elliot pulled her in close to lay down next to him. He kissed her cheeks and her forehead multiple times before stopping to stare at her beauty. She giggled and smiled then held him down into a cuddle position on the bed. “This is what I’ve always wanted, despite me acting like I never did,” She admitted, tracing circles on the others chest. “Did you want to sleep here for the night? Or..we’re you going to go back to your room?” Elliot asked, but got no response from the other. Renee was fast asleep in his arms, snoring softly. Elliot smiled a loving smile and kissed her forehead lightly then fell asleep quick with the warmth she amitted.

E X T R A

Octane walked into Elliot’s room, knowing it was unlocked and because he was his best friend. He had his phone in hand, ready to ask a question about the future match. His eyes darted towards the bed after noticing that the lights were off. There, he saw his best friend with the stone cold girl, who never really showed emotion. He gasped quietly and opened the camera app on his phone. He snapped a picture but before he knew it, the flash went off and lit up the entire area of the man’s bed. Renee groaned and covered herself more with the blanket that was draped over her and Elliot. He quickly stepped out of the room where the couple rested and snickered at the photo he caught. His first thought was to post it, his second? To post it and then print it and frame it. He didnt want to seem like a bitch so he decided to post it with the caption, “Found the lovebirds mating LOL” Within a matter of seconds, the post flooded with likes and shares. Which meant that all if not most of the legends would see it. You bet that Elliot and Renee we’re furious when they both came across it the next day..

THE END

word count: 5,445

Hope you guys enjoyed this as much as I enjoyed writing it :] <3

Quotes will resume Monday,, 2:00pm CT

[and-they-were-crewmates]

Room For Three | Deleted Scenes

Hi friends! Have you read my fic Room For Three? If not, and you’re looking for Holden/Amos/Naomi fic, go check that out first, because it’s better than this.

The following are a few deleted scenes from Chapter 20. These scenes did not actually occur in the universe of the fic. They were deleted in part because they weren’t relevant to anything, so they added too much superfluous bulk to an already superfluous and bulky fic, and in part because I wasn’t very confident with my characterization of Camina’s family or the way I communicated their dialect. I do love the idea of giving Drummer some closure with Naomi, though I don’t think that Room For Three is the place to explore that concept. That being said, this was a fun little scene, so I’d like to share!

Very mildly NSFW text below. This is from a rated E fic, but is not explicitly sexual. CW recreational drug use (marijuana)

“I wouldn’t want to impose,” said Naomi into her hand terminal. The small window in the corner reflected her own image, alone in the room while Jim either finished up his therapy or got started on his way to lunch with Fred, and Amos journeyed to pick up food for the two of them. The larger window, the focus of her attention, showed Drummer’s full face and half of another woman’s, whose shoulder acted as a pillow for Camina’s tilted head. Her friend looked more at peace than Naomi had ever seen her. 

“Nah, we insist. Whole crew will be happy to meet The Naomi Nagata. Plus, your Earther boys obviously need a lesson in family. Double date.” 

“Is it still called a double date if there’s nine people at the table?” 

“Nonuple date, then. Come. Josep good cook, Bertold good advice, Oksana good to look at,” she said. The body next to her stuck out an elbow in playful defense, and a loving giggle filled the speaker. “Good in bed, too,” Camina added to appease her, and they both laughed together. 

“Alright, alright. I guess I’d rather get polyam lessons from you lot than from Jim’s eight parents.” 

“Soyá. One Holden is more than enough for me.” Naomi didn’t say it, but she agreed. The Holden family was a lot to handle. She knew there might be a discussion with them in her future, in which she and Amos would undoubtedly have to stand under their mild-mannered scrutiny and well-meant condescension, but she hoped to put it off as long as possible. 

“Be nice to him tonight,” Naomi implored,  Camina rolled her eyes. 

“To ta ge im, bosmang. I will try. No promises ‘bout Serge though. Discriminate, im does.”

“Ah, pashang fong, ‘Mina,” a man’s voice bellowed, the pejorative softened by his loving tone. His head appeared on Naomi’s device, upside down at the top of the frame. “Mi behave, promise.” They all three laughed together, a contagious sound that put a smile on Naomi’s face. 

Camina’s family was as affectionate as it was functional, and any jealousy was squandered as soon as it sprouted through open networks of communication. They didn’t all sleep in the same bed, or all have sex at the same time, or spend every waking hour together, the six of them, but they loved each other equally just the same. They didn’t all keep score of their ‘wins’ and ‘losses’— surely Michio didn’t feel left out if Oksana got milkshakes with Josep one day, and Drummer didn’t pout if Serge chose to shower with Bertold instead of her. They found a balance together, where everyone was included, even in the moments when they weren’t. They’d be good role models. 

“Alright, we’ll be there,” Naomi said, excitement written on her face. When the phone call was over, she turned her attention to the door. Amos was taking longer than anticipated. She supposed she’d have to find some way to occupy herself until he returned. 

***

Josep’s cooking was so spicy that it felt like a targeted attack. Holden was the only one who seemed to notice— which only furthered his suspicions that it was a deliberate poisoning— though he knew he was just wimpier than anyone else in the room. Otherwise, Holden, Naomi, and Amos were welcomed warmly into Drummer’s home like members of the family. 

They each had their own unique flavor of advice, ranging from categorically unhelpful to actually something to think about, spoken in different degrees of broken English or part-English part-Belter. Holden appreciated the great effort they went to to be understood by him. They probably had very little use for pure English in their day-to-day lives, and the grammar of Lang Belta was very different, more efficient. It made some of their translations a little hard for Holden to process, but if they could make the effort, so could he. 

“Da pashang gut?” Serge asked. In the time it took Holden to decide if he was comfortable answering whether they had good sex, Amos and Naomi had already given their yesses. “Gut. The rest figure itself out.” 

“That’s terrible advice,” interjected Michio. 

“Work for me an’ Josep this morning,” he shrugged. “Take too long in shower. Mi angry. Join him in shower, mi na so angry.” Michio rolled her eyes. 

“It’s not about sex,” she said. “You can have good sex and no love for each other.”

“Like in Camina dream about Holden,” Serge contributed. Holden didn’t know what to do with that information. Naomi seemed to like it. 

“I’ve had that dream,” Amos added. Holden elbowed him. 

“Sure, like that,” dismissed Michio. “It’s not about sex; it’s about trust. You trust your family will never hurt you on purpose?” she asked. The three of them nodded. “You forgive your family when they make a mistake?” she asked. They nodded. “Then you can forgive your family for anything.” That was pretty solid advice, but nothing Holden didn’t already know. They were good at forgiving each other. Had practice. 

“How do you keep everything…” Holden searched for the word, “...equal?”

“Equal? Who cares equal?” replied Bertold. “Not equal. Camina in charge. Like Naomi for you.”

“Naomi’s not—” Holden said, then backed down. It was true enough. 

“Ya. No need for equal.” 

“Is there ever jealousy? Like, if you spend more time with one person than another.” A couple of them, including Amos, looked at him like that was the stupidest question ever asked.

“That’s baby shit, kopeng,” Bertold said. “Need comfort, ask Oksana. Need tough love, ask Camina. Need fix problem, ask Michio. Need laugh, ask Josep. Need blow job, ask Serge.” 

“Hey,” Serge defended. “I’m funny, too.” 

“Ya, baby,” Bertold consoled. “I just simplify for explain. Different for others, or depend on the day. Point is, na equal. Need comfort four time, tough love one, then go Oksana four time, Camina one. ‘Mina no cry ‘bout it. Because adult. Knows mi love im the same.” Drummer smiled at him. Holden had never seen Drummer smile as bright or as often as he had that night. “End of day, eat dinner as family, go bed happy.” 

“Huh,” said Holden. “That… makes a lot of sense, thank you.”

“Try not to think so hard, Jimmy,” said Drummer. “Have some cake. Not so spicy.”

“Gee, thanks.”

***

The third or fourth time it was passed to her, Naomi took another long, luxurious puff off of Drummer’s vaporizer. She tried to pass it behind her to Jim (whose lap she didn’t think she’d been sitting in when Camina first pulled out the device) but he declined as always. Naomi presumed the captain was afraid of what slutty business he might get up to under the influence of high-grade synthetic cannabis in a room full of incredibly hot people. She couldn’t blame him, but it wouldn’t stop her from having a good time. Amos also clearly had no such reservations. 

“So,” he said between two smaller puffs (Earthers with their puff, puff, pass bullshit), “what’s the sex like?” 

“Amos, you can’t just ask people that,” Jim scolded. In rebuttal, Amos took his second puff and blew it in Jim’s face. Soberly, Naomi might’ve been on Jim’s side of that argument, but she was high and curious. Amos looked at Serge, who seemed the most likely to answer the question rather than flip him off. 

“All six of you screw together, or is it a Noah’s Ark kinda deal?” Amos asked. Serge shrugged. 

“Sometimes all six, sometimes three, sometimes two,” he said. 

“Maybe sometimes nine,” added Josep lewdly, eyeing the three guests. Amos smiled salaciously, while scattered laughter filled the room. Camina cleared her throat and shook her head. 

“What did I say?” she chided. 

“Dinner, not orgy,” Josep said. 

“Don’t see why it can’t be both,” said Amos. Jim elbowed him. 

As her Earther lovers mingled with her Belter friends, new and old, Naomi felt a sense of wholeness. Her worlds were colliding— this time in a harmonious way, not an explosive one. She didn’t know if it was the THC in her lungs or the love in her life, but she was on top of the world. 

Michio was teaching Amos and Jim an old Belter card game when Naomi was overcome with a powerful urge to speak privately with Camina. Several faces quirked suggestively as she pulled her friend from the mass of cuddling bodies on the living room floor. Apparently Amos wasn’t the only one with preconceived notions about their friendship. She ignored them and guided Camina into the next room, which only happened to be the bedroom. 

“Don’t think I’ve ever seen you this happy, Camina,” she said once they were in another room. Camina hummed and nodded, the corners of her mouth quirking up into a small smile. The weed seemed to unburden her considerably, though a deeper happiness radiated from her even before they’d smoked. Her hair was down, and it felt to Naomi like a metaphor. 

“Don’t think I ever have been,” she said. Naomi took her hand and squeezed it, beaming with pride. Camina’s expression soured almost imperceptibly; her smile was still present, though it spoke of an old, tired sadness, or perhaps just a more reluctant version of joy. “Spent a long time wanting something I could not have.” She looked Naomi up and down, and the message was heard loud and clear. That bitter-sweet smile. The harbinger of closure. 

“Ended up with something better, no?” 

“Think so,” Camina answered. Her eyes widened as she asked, and there was a youthfulness in her face that Naomi hadn’t seen before, like a child seeking approval. Naomi didn’t think Camina needed her approval, but she gave it readily. 

“I know so. Oksana looks at you like you painted the stars in the sky. You deserve that.” 

“Same way Jimmy looks at you.”  

“Same way Amos looks at my boobs,” Naomi countered. They both laughed. “You deserve to be happy, Camina Drummer. Are you?” 

“Ya, Naomi Nagata. Have everything I ever wanted, and more. Could not have imagined having something this good until it happened.”  

“I know what you mean,” Naomi said wistfully, thinking of Amos and Jim. 

“You happy, too?” Camina asked. 

“Ya,” answered Naomi, easily and honestly. Have everything I ever wanted, and more. “Mi xush.” Naomi pressed her forehead to Camina’s, and they shared their happiness together for a moment. 

“Gut.” 

“So... what’s this dream you had about Jim?” 

“Oh hush.” 

***

“You think they’re fooling around?” Amos asked the group of people whose names he didn’t know. Holden elbowed him for the third time that night. “Bug, at some point, you’re gonna have to realize jabbing me in the ribs ain’t gonna stop me from sayin’ shit.” 

“What will?” Holden asked. Amos didn’t answer, just pointed his eyes down at Holden’s crotch, and figured he got the message when he received yet another nudge to his side. He laughed,  took his turn in the card game, and hit the vape when it came around again. 

“Could I ask you something, big man?” asked the guy with the triangle tattoos beside his eyes. Amos shrugged his permission. The guy took a second to say anything else, like he was trying to word his question. He whispered something to the man at his side. 

“Ah,” the second man said, “wants to know if you have Earther cock.” Amos didn’t know what that meant. “You know, like…” he gave an inscrutable gesture, like jerking off, but not quite. “No skin.” 

“Josep,” came a scolding female voice. Amos didn’t mind. 

“Oh. Yeah, I’m circumcised.” The two men, one of whom must’ve been Josep, not that Amos would retain that information, seemed fascinated by that. He was about to ask if they wanted to see it when Naomi and her girlfriend came back. Another time, then. 

[barnesandrogersfanfics]

Home - Part 5

It had been a couple of weeks since Jack had turned up out of the blue, i had stayed with Bucky and the kids for a week while Bucky had a restraining order sorted out. I was back home now but not before Bucky had arranged for a state of the art security system for the house (which Steve came round to install), i had tried to tell him a standard alarm system would be fine but he insisted that i had this one.....I would even get alerts on my phone if anyone was detected approaching the property.

It had definitely put my mind at ease about being home alone.

Thursday night i was at the Barnes residence later than expected, Bucky had been held up on a case he was working. Allie had been unusually quiet tonight, every time i asked if she was okay she just nodded and after dinner she took herself up to bed.

It was nearing midnight when Bucky finally got home, i had been asleep in the armchair with the chunky blanket over me but woke up hearing the front door close. Bucky walked in looking exhausted but still gave me a smile when he locked eyes with me.

"Hey doll, I'm sorry its so late. You didn't have to wait up you should have gone to bed"

"I was going to but i wanted to talk to you about Allie" i told him rubbing my eyes trying to wake up.

"She okay?" He asked looking worried, i nodded quickly as he sat on the table in front of the armchair i was in.

"She's just not been herself since i picked them up from school. She's been so quiet all evening Bucky and thats just not like her..... she had dinner then took herself to bed. I tried asking if she was okay and all i got was a nod"

"That does sound odd for Allie, i'll talk to her in the morning"

"Okay, well i'll just do their lunches then I'm gonna turn in for night" i said throwing the blanket off and getting up.

"I'll help you with that, get it done quicker".

I made the sandwiches while Bucky grabbed the fruit packs and juice boxes.

He zipped up the lunch bags after adding the sandwiches i made and put them into the girls school bags. I was wiping down the side when i heard Bucky mumble "shit" under his breath.

"Everything okay?"

"I think i know whats got Allie acting like she is..." he said handing me a sheet of paper from Allie's bag.

'Mother Daughter Picnic' was written at the top of the page signed by Ms Harper for tomorrow!

"Is this a yearly thing?"

"No, they've never had one of these before"

"This woman is crazy! She doing this because you turned her down?"

"I have no idea" he run a hand through his hair "i'll just keep Allie home from school if you dont mind having her?"

"I dont mind at all Bucky you know that. Or i could go with Allie?" I shrugged, this woman was really pissing me off!

"You'd do that?"

"Of course! Ms Harper already thinks we're married so why not" i chuckled rolling my eyes "i dont want her thinking she's got one over on you either"

"Im sure Allie would love having you there with her Y/N" Bucky smiled.

"Do you think Steve could watch Rosie while i do the picnic with Allie?"

"Yeah not a problem, i'll call him in the morning get him to swing by"

"Sounds good, well I'm gonna go get some sleep...good night Buck" i smiled before turning to head up to my room, he grabbed my hand stopping me as i passed him and pulled me in for a hug.

"Thank you doll, you dont know how much this means to us. Your amazing" he kissed the top of my head and took a step back "goodnight Y/N"

"Goodnight" i replied quickly feeling my cheeks burn and went up to my room before he had a chance to see the effect he had on me!

"Allie, baby i saw a letter in your bag about a Mother Daughter picnic at school today" Bucky said at breakfast the next day, she nodded sadly not looking at any of us.

"What would you say if Y/N went with you?"

She looked up with wide eyes at me then Bucky "really?"

"If thats okay with you sweetheart, i'd love to come to a picnic with you" i smiled at her, she broke out in a huge smile climbing down from her chair and running over to me.

"Thank you Y/N" she squeezed me tightly back to the happy Allie we were used to.

She leaned back and placed her little hands either side of my face and smiled "I love you!"

If it was possible my heart would have melted right there!

"Awww Allie! I love you too sweetheart" i smiled at her.

"I love you too Y/N!" Brooke added not wanting to be left out, i chuckled before smiling over at her.

"I love you too Brooklyn James, i love you all"

I caught Bucky smiling at his girls then at me, i quickly returned his smile.

"Okay, i gotta go my girls" he got up pulling on his suit jacket "Steve will be here at 11am to watch Rosie"

"Great"

"How about i swing by the school and pick you girls up today?" Bucky suddenly added like it was the best idea he'd ever had.

"You having a early day?" I asked sounding surprised.

"Yeah, i'll be there to pick you and the girls up" he smiled kissing Rosie and Brooke on the head then coming over to where Allie was still in my lap to kiss her, he surprised me when he kissed my head too.

"See you girls later, love you" he called leaving the dining room, and with that he was gone.

"Okay, lets get you guys to school".

Steve was at the house at 11am as promised, i didn't have to be at the school til 12 so we sat and had a coffee and a chat while we waited. When i told Steve id have to walk to the school because Bucky had insisted on picking us up afterwards, he offered to drop me there instead saying he didn't want me wandering alone.

"So, Mother daughter picnics huh?" Steve said teasingly and wriggling his eyebrows as he drove me to the school.

"Yep looks like it" i nodded " i love the girls, id do anything for them.... even going to mother daughter picnics organised by bitter old bitches"

"Ms Harper definitely fits the bitter old bitch title" Steve laughed "she's liked Buck since high school! You'd think she'd get over him already.... i mean his not even that great" He rolled his eyes playfully making me laugh.

"Thats a lie and you know it, your both great guys"

"Aw thanks Y/N!"

"Shut up Steve, dont make me take it back"

"Oh no you can't take it back now"

"Fine!"

"But in all seriousness, you and Bucky seem to be getting along well...."

"Yeah of course, it'd be kinda awkward if we didn't being as I'm there with kids all day" i scoffed.

"Seems like a little more than a work relationship though"

"Well its not" i shook my head looking to Steve "do you think im sleeping with him or something?"

"No! no of course not..... are you? I mean it'd be totally okay of you were..."

"Im not! God Steve...." i huffed as he pulled up out the front of the school "i can't believe you would ask me that"

"Why? Its not such a crazy thought! I think your good together, and i haven't seen him this happy in a very long time....I think a lot of that has to do with you"

"Your crazy!"

"Tell me you dont have feelings for him then..."

"Shut up Steve" i threw the door open "im late now! Thanks!" I turned to check on Rosie she was still fast asleep in the back seat "dont be bringing this shit up to Bucky!" I closed the door and marched into the school.

I followed the signs for the picnic around the outside of the building that then led onto the playing field where benches had been set out. All the benches were filled with moms and smiling little girls, then i spotted Allie standing on her own away from everyone with Ms Harper! I jogged over only to hear Ms Harper make a comment to Allie about having no mom and that she shouldn't here at the picnic!!

I saw red!! The anger was raging through me, but i knew i couldnt make a scene here infront of everyone.

"Allie!" I called to her so she knew i was there and hadnt let her down! Her little face lit up and she flew into my arms.

"Im so sorry I'm late babe, you can blame Uncle Steve for driving like an old woman" i smiled at her before turning to look at Ms Harper.

"Ms Harper, id like to say its nice to see you again but i dont like to lie infront of my kids" i felt some semblance of pleasure from the worried look on the womans face.

"Allie why dont you go find us a seat, i'll be right there"

"Okay" she said happily running off towards the benches. Once she was far enough away i turned my attention to Ms Harper.

"I heard what you said to Allie you spiteful bitch! I get your not happy that Bucky isn't interested in you but guess what? You dont always get what you want!! And you cannot say that shit to a five year old!"

"I was only telling her the truth! Her moms dead! Why should she be here?"

"Shes got a mom you stupid fuck! Im her mom got it??! I already warned you about messing with my kid.... your lucky theres people here because god help me you would be on your fucking ass by now if they weren't!"

I turned to go find Allie but stopped to look back at Ms Harper "oh and you should probably start looking for a new job, I'm not letting this go and I'm sure my husband wont either when i tell him the vile shit coming out of your mouth"

"But i....." she started to say with wide eyes.

"Have a good afternoon Ms Harper" i called back in an over the top happy voice as i approached the benches and found Allie.

The picnic was lovely, we were sat with some of Allie's friends and their moms who Allie introduced as Josie and her mom Kylie, Emma and her mom Rachel and then Nell and her mom Nessa.

They were all lovely and very welcoming, the afternoon flew by and playdates were arranged, I'm sure Bucky would love that!

2:45 came around and the picnic was over, i took Allie's hand and we made our way out front to wait for Bucky. To our surprise he was already outside waiting for us leaning against the side of his car, he greeted us both with a smile.

"Hey girls"

"Hey yourself" i smiled at him as he scooped Allie up into one arm and draped the other over my shoulders placing a kiss on the side of my head.

"How'd it go?"

"It was so much fun daddy! Y/N met my friends!" Allie told him sounding so happy at how the afternoon went.

"She did?" He asked matching her tone and smiling. I spotted Ms Harper hovering over near the gates looking towards us and frowned.

"You okay doll? You look like your ready to murder someone" Bucky asked as his arm slipped down to wrap around my waist.

"Maybe because i am! I need to talk to you about Ms Harper....."

"Okay" he nodded then turned to strap Allie into her booster seat while we waited for Brooke to come out. Once he was done he closed the car door and turned me to face him so i had my back to Ms Harper the super bitch!! He held one hand against the side of my face making me look up at him, it would look pretty intimate to anyone watching and that was the whole point.... right?

"What happened?" He asked calmly and i couldn't help but wonder how long he'd keep that calm look about him once i told him what she had said.

"I was a little late getting here because Steve was driving like an old woman..." i started to say, i wasn't about to tell Bucky i was late because Steve was questioning mine and Bucky's relationship!

"When i got here Ms Harper was standing away from the picnic with Allie.... as i got closer i heard her telling Allie she shouldn't be at the picnic because she doesn't have a mom!" I closed my eyes trying to fight back the anger once again "how could someone say that Buck!"

I could feel the anger vibrating through Bucky but he just pulled me into his arms, my arms wrapping around his waist.

"I think we should report her Bucky, she cant get away with saying these things to Allie!"

"I agree doll, this has to stop. I'll make an appointment to see the principal”

"I can come with you if you want? Tell him what I've heard her say..."

"Yeah okay, id like that"

"I should tell you now, i threatened to knock her on her ass.... i kinda lost my shit with her" i admitted and Bucky just chuckled dropping his head to my shoulder.

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[something-tofightfor]

Just a Place - Part 10

Pairing: Ryan Brenner x Reader

Word Count: 7900

Rating: M (language, implied zest)

Summary: After a difficult run in, will you and Ryan talk it out, or has something changed between the two of you? And what’s the next move? 

Author’s Note: I’d apologize for how I end this chapter, but I’m not sorry. 

Ryan’s POV

 He watched you walk through the living room and out the back door, the towel wrapped tightly around your body. She’s real mad. You didn’t look at him, but he didn’t let his fingers falter, keeping the song going even after you closed the door behind you. I shouldn’t have stopped. I should have… Ryan closed his eyes, fingers still moving over the strings, and felt his shoulders droop. The entire day had ben one misstep after another, from the conversation you’d had that morning to the way he’d zoned out in the museums, and finally to his reaction to seeing Jackie in person again. While he knew that you didn’t blame him for any of it, because they were reactions, he still felt like he’d let you down. I told her I’m in love with her and then seein’ Jackie froze me on my boots. He’d seen the hurt in your eyes, masked only by the surprise that filled them, and if he would have been able to speak, he would have told you that he felt the same - seeing Jackie with Lia and her husband hadn’t bothered him, it had simply caught him off guard - much the same way that being back in Ogden had, bringing everything that he hadn’t thought about in months back to the surface. But none of that matters.. 

 He finished the song he was playing and then without pausing, hs fingers started picking a familiar melody, jaw set as he remembered playing it on her porch, remembered her asking him to play more of it, remembered laying in bed with her and Jackie pointing out that the song was about her. Was it? He’d finished it on his way northwest to Portland, sending her a message that it was done and it was about her, but as Ryan made it past the first verse, he narrowed his eyes before closing them completely, head shaking back and forth as the words poured out. It never was. I thought it was but it… He opened his eyes again as he made it to the end of the second verse, fingers slowing as they moved over the strings. It’s not… it’s… Ryan squeezed the neck of your guitar tightly as he stopped playing, the sound trailing off. “It was never about Jackie.” Ryan swallowed, setting the guitar down and reaching for his phone. “Shit.” 

 It was after ten, meaning that he couldn’t call Ginny, and Ryan’s fingers curled around the device, teeth digging into his lower lip. It wasn’t about Jackie, because it was… He carefully slid your guitar back into the case and then stood, pacing around the room, one hand moving through his hair as his thoughts ran wild. That makes so much sense. So much sense, why didn’t ... His eyes darted to the back windows, but he knew you still needed some time, and so he didn’t run to the door, though it was all he wanted to do. He paced for a few more minutes, deep in thought, and then couldn’t wait any longer, loping up the steps without pause and taking his clothes off, digging through his suitcase for his swim trunks off before wrapping a towel around his waist. She’s gotta let me in, right? He frowned but didn’t stop, making his way back downstairs and out the door, seeing that you were facing away from the house, head tilted slightly upward to look at the stars. 

 Ryan approached you slowly, taking a deep breath, and even though the cement was cold against his feet, he stopped and waited, saying your name quietly. You didn’t respond for long moments, and when you turned your head toward him, Ryan saw that your cheeks were streaked with tears. Oh no. “Can I come in?” You stayed quiet, and when Ryan had decided you weren’t going to, you nodded once, closing your eyes and turning your head away. It’s a start. He dropped the towel, climbing into the hot tub and sitting opposite you, not knowing where to begin. Apologize. ‘I’m sorry.” You didn’t move, but he saw you open your eyes, staring upward again. “I wasn’t expectin’ to see her… to see them. Not like that.” He watched your fingers moving beneath the surface of the water, bubbles from the jet flowing through them. “I shoulda told you, when I thought I saw her, but I just figured… figured it was bein’ back here, that I wasn’t really… but it was her, an’ she…” Ryan shifted, sitting up straight. “She hasn’t yet, but she’s gonna reach out to me, probably through Lia’s account, or from her phone, or…” Ryan reached up, using one hand to wet his hair, slicking it back. “She definitely knows I’m here now, and she…”

 “She knows I’m here, too, Ry.” You finally looked at him, but he again saw only the sadness he knew you were feeling in your stare. “She still going to -”

 “Yeah, she won’t care.” He swallowed. “She wants somethin’, she’ll…” You scoffed, looking down at the swirling water. 

 “Does she still want you, Ryan Brenner?” He heard the contempt in your voice, something that was so out of character that it felt like he’d been punched in the stomach. I don’t blame her, though. “Does she... “ He moved while you were still speaking, sliding onto the seat next to yours and bringing one hand out of the water and to your chin, gripping it gently and forcing you to look at him. Your words died on your lips, and Ryan shook his head firmly. 

 “Don’t care what she wants or who she wants, because I don’t want her.” He pressed his lips together and waited, but you were too surprised to respond, so Ryan continued. “I want you.” Your eyes widened, but the look in them didn’t change. “I shouldn’t have to keep reminding you of that.” He sighed, reaching through the water with his free hand for one of yours. “But I will, because you need to hear it.” He leaned in, resting his forehead against yours. “I shouldn’t have stopped. I shouldn’t have been spacin’ out today at the Station. I shoulda been focusing on you.” 

 “Yeah.” Your voice almost too quiet to hear over the water, you finally spoke again. “You -” Ryan tilted his head, lips finding yours, but he didn’t try to prolong the kiss, knowing that it wasn’t the right call. “Ryan, what …”

 “I’m sorry.” He kissed you again, quickly, his hand dropping from your chin to your shoulder, gripping your wet skin as he twined his fingers with yours beneath the water’s surface. “I saw somethin’ on your face twice today that I … I never wanna see again.” He inhaled, curling his lip as he pressed his forehead to yours again, knees resting against your thigh as he leaned in. “”An’ I put it there.” Admitting it was the first step, but Ryan knew that it was the most important, and he needed you to know that he was serious. “This place is… I thought it was about Jackie, but it’s not, and now …” Ryan took a breath, hand moving back toward your neck, the tips of his fingers tightening at the base of it. “Now I know.” 

 The only sound was the bubbling of the water, and then Ryan heard you speak at the same time he felt you relax - slightly - under his touch. “Know what?” He felt the warmth of your breath hit his cheek, the fingers on the hand he wasn’t holding tentatively touching his ribs as the water swirled around them. “What do you know?” His heart thudding in his chest, Ryan sat up straight, waiting until you looked him in the eye to answer you. 

 “Southbound’s not about Jackie.” Your eyes flashed but you didn’t look away. “It’s never been about Jackie, even though I thought it was.” Ryan swallowed and then took a deep breath. “It’s about Ginny and Cowboy, and it… that’s why I couldn’t finish it til I got here, til … til I knew what happened to ‘im.” The same look of realization came over your face that he’d experienced, and Ryan watched as your eyebrows shot up, lips parting in surprise. “I… I’m gonna sing it with Ginny before we leave.” 

 --- 

 Your POV 

 You’d heard the door open and shut, heard Ryan’s quiet footsteps as he crossed the patio, and yet you didn’t reach up to wipe the tears from your face. No, let him see. He’d spoken to you and you heard the sadness in his voice, the hesitation, and yet you’d agreed to let him get into the hot tub with you. Because you’re an idiot. But that wasn’t it; it wasn’t idiocy that drove you to give him permission, it was the fact that you knew that his behavior earlier in the day hadn’t been the result of lingering feelings for Jackie or disinterest in you. In the time you’d known Ryan - nearly three years - you’d picked up on the fact that though he was road hardened, well-versed in tragedy and loss and struggle, he still felt everything, and often in a very different way than you would have expected. Ryan couldn’t hide his emotions or his reactions, and you were the one that had suffered from it the most in that particular instance. And this is the worst possible outcome. 

 You’d also believed that during your time in Ogden, you’d run into the woman, but hadn’t ever imagined it would be so out of nowhere, or that Ryan’s reaction would be as extreme. But it shouldn’t surprise me, you thought as he started speaking, the sincerity in his voice unlike you’d ever heard before as he apologized. But you couldn’t keep the bitterness out of your voice as you responded, the way the blonde’s eyes had slid from you to Ryan without pause fresh in your memory. Ryan’s movement toward you had taken you by surprise, though, the feeling of his fingers on your skin both welcome and enough to startle you, but the way he looked at you - along with his words - was enough to convince you that he was serious, and his touch grounded you, the gentle kisses full of meaning. He’s telling me the truth, he… 

 Ryan didn’t give you a chance to question him before continuing, and as he spoke you felt the truth in what he was saying, reaching out for him and tightening your fingers against his. The admission about Southbound stunned you, but it made sense. It wasn’t a love song - it never had seemed like one to you in all the times you’d heard it - but Ryan finally giving a voice to the way the song made him feel, what it was really about and what he wanted to do with it put the whole day into perspective for you, along with the way that you looked at Ogden as a whole. That’s why he came back. His admission about wanting to sing the song with Ginny floored you, and after staring into Ryan’s eyes for a few seconds, you nodded, reaching up to touch his cheek, the droplets of water collecting on his beard. “It wasn’t about Ogden, Ry.” He shook his head. “It was about…” You rook a breath, eyes searching his face. “Them and the way they…”

 “They’re my family.” He leaned in again, thumb sweeping over the side of your throat. “They were my only family for a while, an’...” You watched as his shoulders shook, Ryan’s breath leaving his body in one long exhale. “Now I’ve got you.” He wet his lips, scooting closer, and you moved too, allowing him. “I just needed to…”

 “I’m sorry I overreacted, Ryan.” He’d apologized to you, and you felt the need to do the same - not because you were in the wrong, but because you needed Ryan to know that you weren’t blaming him for his actions. It hurts but I know he… “I know that you don’t… I know how you feel about me, but I… she was right there, and she was looking at you, and you’d been thinking of…” 

 “I know.” He shifted on the seat, pulling on your hand and you turned so that your back was to him, your fingers sliding out of Ryan’s grasp. “I think,” he said as his hands moved to your shoulders, thumbs digging in, “that… I didn’t know what to think, until I got here.” You closed your eyes and flattened your palms on your thighs, Ryan releasing your shoulders as he gathered your hair into both hands, pushing it over one of them. “And then it all… seein’ Ginny and Henry, the mountains, the … I’ve got memories here, and the more I thought about ‘em, the more real it all was, you know?” He was kneading your skin with his hands, Ryan’s calloused fingers moving over your shoulders and upper back, your body relaxing by the second. “I didn’t… I didn’t see her an’ think ‘oh there she is, that’s what I’ve been missing’, I was just surprised, because the way she looked at me, through that window? She didn’t look at me like that for weeks before I left, and…” He stopped, and though both of his hands - warm and wet - were near your spine, you felt his lips against the top ridge of your shoulder, lingering for long seconds before he continued. “I wasn’t expectin’ it.”

 You’d seen the look on her face; the shock in her eyes, the way her lips had quivered just slightly as they parted, but you’d seen that her gaze had been locked on Ryan - on his face, on the man that she hadn’t seen in years but still had some sort of feelings for. “I wasn’t either, Ryan.” You sighed again, his hands working their way down the center of your back as his lips trailed over your shoulder and against your neck. “I didn’t…. don’t like seeing her look at you like that, because…” You looked down, chin near your chest. “Because I know there was a time when you looked at her like that, too.” You felt the movement of his hands falter, but Ryan’s lips didn’t, your name coming out in a quiet breath. His past was his past, but that didn’t mean that you wanted to be presented with it up close - and you had been. “She looked at you like I look at you, Ryan, like she l-”

 “Jackie didn’t ever love me.” His beard scraped against the thin skin of your throat, Ryan’s voice low in your ear. “If she did, she woulda understood that I needed to be me, and she wouldn’t have…” You turned your head to the side, Ryan’s hands at the center of your back, and his face only inches from yours. “She didn’t look at me like you do.” He leaned in, nose brushing against yours as he sought out your lips, your eyes dropping briefly. I’m still upset, but… “And I never saw her the way I see you. Stop comparin’ yourself to her.” You were nodding before you’d even realized it, turning your entire body toward Ryan’s, both arms going around his shoulders as you allowed yourself to be pulled onto his lap. 

 “I hate feeling like this, Ryan, it makes me…” You kissed him, closing your eyes and then squeezing them shut. “Makes me feel…” Small. Stupid. Like I don’t deserve you. 

 “I’m glad you do.” He groaned as his hands moved up and down your sides, lips on yours, teeth scraping gently over your skin. “Because you mean it.” You hummed quietly, waiting, and Ryan didn’t make you wait long. “You wouldn’t be upset if you didn’t care, an’ you’re real upset.” I am. Ryan’s lips were on yours again, kiss more insistent, but he still wasn’t trying to take it further; holding you but not pulling you, keeping you in place on his lap but not forcing you to stay. “Tell me what to do.” You swallowed, feeling his lips move with each word, and you closed your eyes again, moving your fingers through the damp hair at the base of his neck, thinking. Do I keep going? Do I let this… is it over? 

 “I don’t want to be jealous of her, Ryan.” You licked your lips, head shaking back and forth twice. “Because I know I shouldn’t be, but I’m…” Your mind raced. What am I? “I hate her, Ryan, for what she tried to do to you, and I hate that you felt anything for her and that she…” You were crying again, the frustration that you’d felt toward the woman for the whole time you’d known of her pouring out - and misdirected at Ryan. “I hate that she still thinks she can…” 

 “She can’t.” He was holding you more tightly, chests pressed together. “I told you, it wasn’t because I wanted to stop, I just… wasn’t expectin’ it, and after what happened between you an’ me earlier, I… it was too much of a coincidence.” His hand left your side and cradled the back of your head, Ryan urging you to sit up straight and look at him. “I’m here for Ginny and Henry. That’s it. Here with you.” He leaned in. “And after Ogden? We’re going to go get our stuff and go to the next place, just like we planned.” He was determined, you could hear it in his voice, and you nodded, feeling your chest grow tight. We are. 

 “I know, Ry.” You took a deep breath, pulling your hand away from the back of his head and placing it against his chest, feeling his heart beating beneath your palm. “That’s what I want.” He looked relieved and you felt relieved, trying to smile at the man in front of you. “We haven’t had a real…” You paused, thinking, and Ryan’s hands rested against your hips, thumbs hooked beneath the elastic of your bathing suit bottoms, slowly rubbing against the skin there. “A real fight or -”

 “This isn’t a fight.” You watched as his lips twitched into a slight smile, his dark eyes moving over your face. “This is both of us realizin’ that we…” Ryan’s eyes closed, head rolling back and forth before he looked at you again. “That we’ve been keepin’ some feelings from each other at the same time we got …” One eyebrow lifted, Ryan’s eyes still on yours. “Reminded of the past.” The past. She’s his past. “I’m not gonna fight with you.” Ryan bit his lip. “Won’t do any good, cuz you’ll just win anyway, so…” You laughed at that, quietly but it was enough, and Ryan leaned in to kiss you again, lips soft on yours, fingers tightening on your skin. “I -”

 “Love you, Ryan.” You shifted on his lap, relaxing against his chest as Ryan repeated the words to you, both of you sinking further into the hot water. “You think Ginny’s gonna want to sing with you? I know you guys …”

 “She used to. She’s got a better voice than I do, an’ even if she hasn’t used it in a while, I’m sure she… when I explain, I’m sure she’ll…” He sighed, both arms around you. “That’s my second favorite song I’ve ever written, you know that?” 

 “I didn’t, Ryan.” He was tracing over your thigh with one long finger, his chin resting on your shoulder. “But second? I figured it -”

 “First is the one that I wrote right after we met. The one I played for you on Christmas?” What? “That song’s for you, no doubt about it.” He paused, turning his head so that he could speak directly into your ear, voice barely audible over the sound of the hot tub. “Knowin’ that you’d heard that song at least once made me happy.” He kissed the side of your face and you felt him wrinkle his nose before his teeth closed around your earlobe, pressure gentle but still making you shiver, though the water was steaming hot. “Gettin’ to play it for you that first time in your basement?” Ryan groaned, nuzzling against your shoulder and pulling you closer. “Best feeling I’ve ever…” Your heart pounding, you pulled yourself off of Ryan’s lap and stood abruptly, turning to face him. 

 You felt the cold air hit your skin immediately, watching Ryan’s eyes drop to your chest and then rise again, settling on your face. “Was it?” He nodded, chest rising and falling rapidly. “I know you, Ryan Brenner.” You stepped back toward him, Ryan’s legs parting so that you could stand between them, your fingers trailing down his bare chest while the other hand combed through his hair, pushing the dark strands away from his face. “And I know you mean what you say.” He stayed quiet, watching you, but you felt his hands on the backs of your thighs, moving in slow circles. “But so do I.” You chewed on your lower lip for a few seconds, thinking, and then tilted your head to the side. “So I’ll never keep how I’m feeling from you, because that won’t…” You smiled, blowing out a deep breath. “That won’t help, and I know that, so…” You shrugged, fingers closing on his hair and tugging. “So I’m not gonna do it again, starting now.” 

 “Good.” He grinned at you, and you could tell that he was ready to say something else, though he stayed quiet. What? “I don’t want you to.” He leaned forward, looking up at you as he gripped your legs, holding you in place. “You gonna sit back down, or…?” Am I? You watched him, searching his face, and after only a few seconds, you’d made a decision. None of this matters. He’s here with me. He wants to be, and I want…

 “No.” You stepped back, pulling your hands away from Ryan, but didn’t break eye contact. “I’m going to bed, and I want you to come with me.” 

--- 

 Ryan’s POV 

 The following two days passed quickly - him spending an afternoon with Ginny and Henry while you drove around Ogden, taking pictures one day, and then the four of you meeting for dinner at the house the next, you throwing together a meal of spaghetti and meatballs and entertaining Henry while Ryan and Virginia practiced his song. She’d been more than willing to sit and listen to his explanation of writing Southbound and why it had taken so long for him to realize what it was about, but she’d been apprehensive about singing with him. She doesn’t need to be. Ginny’s voice had been perfectly suited to the melody, and after playing it a few times for her, as well as giving her a lyric sheet, the two of them had gone through it together, trying different things out. It felt good to be singing and playing with Ginny again, the woman using Cowboy’s guitar, Ryan sitting on the couch with your dad’s in his hands. This is right. 

 By the time the two of them left your rental on the fourth night in Ogden, making plans to have Ginny’s parents watch Henry so that the three of you could go out for a few drinks after recording on the second to last night you’d be in the city, Ryan had pushed the stress of the first 36 hours of the trip to the side, focusing on you and Ginny - and on Henry. The dinosaur museum was closed, but Ryan had spent a few hours with the boy while Ginny ran errands, and as the minutes passed, he realized that there was no way that he could remain out of the his life - or Virginia’s. Telling her as much as she packed her stuff to leave your place, Ryan was surprised to see tears gathering in the corners of Virginia’s eyes, her pale fingers reaching up to wipe them away. 

 “I didn’t think you’d come, Ry.” She sniffed and shook her head. “I pushed you away for so long, I had no right to expect…” 

 “You’re family, Ginny. You and Henry always will be. An’ it might take me a minute,  but I’ll always be here for you.” He gestured around them to the large, open room with one hand, reaching out to squeeze one of her hands with his other one. “It’s not like it was before, I’m not… I’ve got some money saved now, Gin, so if you guys ever need anything, just…” 

 “Just need you, Ryan. Henry will need you too, because you’re the only other one to… that knows his daddy like I did.” She smiled at him, the expression softening her features. “He’s still young, but he’s gettin’ bigger, and he’ll…”

 “I’ll be here, Ginny.” Ryan pulled her to his chest, hugging the woman tightly. “Whenever you need me.” 

 They’d left just before seven, and you and Ryan had changed clothes before ordering a car to take you back downtown and to the brewery that he’d told you about, which was crowded - but not too crowded. A few drinks in, the two of you were having a good time, sharing stories of travel along with flights of beer, wanting to sample the local brews before committing. This is nice. You hadn’t had much downtime together in the prior few months, and though the future was uncertain, Ryan was enjoying just relaxing with you. This is what Ogden should have been like. This is what me bein’ happy feels like. He watched you as you talked to the bartender, pointing out things on the menu and asking questions, and Ryan leaned back in his chair, the sounds of the people around you a dull, comforting buzz. 

 Around eleven, you ordered food, choosing a bunch of different tacos and two appetizers - the beehive cheese curds and dirty fries - Ryan grinning at you over the rim of his glass as you teased him about always being hungry. Tryin’ not to be hungover tomorrow at this point. While you waited you ordered more drinks, and as the bartender set them down in front of you, he was surprised to hear you say his name, turning his head to find that you’d leaned in, eyes focused on his face. “What?” The word slipped out with a laugh, but before he could say anything else, you were kissing him, one hand flat on the bartop, the other one gripping his thigh. This is new. When you pulled away, laughing quietly, he raised one hand, pushing your hair back and tucking it behind your ear. “What’s gotten into you tonight?” 

 You shugged, staring at him and drawing your lower lip into your mouth and between your teeth. “Just having fun, Ryan. I like you like this.” You winked, leaning back and raising your glass, taking a long drink of your newest beer - a lager that he’d tasted and enjoyed, too. “That alright?” More than alright. The rest of the night passed quickly, the two of you piling back into a car and heading to the rental a little after 1 am, your head resting on Ryan’s shoulder as the darkened streets of Ogden flew by. “This was fun.” It was. He kept his hand on your back as you typed in the door code, following you into the house and foregoing turning the lights on to trail upstairs after you in the dark. This could be… 

 He waited until you brushed your teeth to head into the bathroom, doing the same, and by the time he walked back into the bedroom, you were laying in bed, face illuminated by the glowing screen of your phone. He watched you from the doorway for a few seconds and then stepped back across the room, taking his shirt off and dropping it onto the floor before reaching into his pocket and pulling out his own phone, tossing it onto the bed before taking his jeans off. “You good?” You nodded, the pillow rustling beneath your head as Ryan climbed into bed, pulling the blanket over himself. “I’m glad.” He took a few deep breaths, picking up the phone and unlocking it, his breath catching at the alert on the screen. Shit. Ryan felt his body stiffen and knew that you had, too, based on the way you darkened your own screen and rolled to face him. 

 “What’s wrong?” His eyes scanned the message and Ryan grimaced, reading through it before he handed the phone to you, still not saying anything. “Oh.” You exhaled, reading out loud. “Ryan - I wanted to message you the other night, but didn’t. I know that you said everything you had to say to me on the phone, but I know you’re in Ogden… or at least you were. If you’re still here, I want to see you, maybe meet for lunch or a coffee or something. I tried calling you, but I’m guessing you blocked my number, so if you want to catch up, just get back to me through here.” You took a deep breath and Ryan watched your jaw work as you stared at the screen. “Or you can call me.” You turned your head to look at him, the light from his phone catching your eyes. “You gonna answer it?” He answered immediately. 

 “Definitely not tonight.” You didn’t speak, and he continued. “She can see that I read it, so if I ignore it, she’ll know that I’m not interested in talking to her, but -”

 “You should respond to it, Ryan.” You scooted closer, his screen gong dark and eliminating most of the light in the room. “One way or another, just… don’t leave the door open.” You were right, but Ryan still didn’t know how to respond. “You’ve only got two days before we leave, and -” 

 “I’ll tell her no, tell her that I don’t want to see…” He watched as you gave him a skeptical look. “What?” 

 “Ryan, she saw you. She saw me. She still reached out, and…” You laid a hand on his abdomen. “Telling her no isn’t going to…”

 “You think I should go?” He waited for your response, rolling onto his side to face you. “I would have thought that you-” 

 “Maybe she needs closure? She’s been married for a while now, Ryan, maybe it means nothing that she wants to see you, maybe…” Yeah, right. That’s not how this works. Not with Jackie. “I know she -”

 ‘“Do you want to meet her?” The words slipped out before Ryan could stop them and he heard you swear under your breath. “I mean, I know you don’t want to meet her, but…” He waited, and you didn’t respond. “I-”

 “She wouldn’t agree to that, Ryan. She doesn’t want me, she wants -”

 “That’s not how this works.” He leaned in, catching you off guard and kissing you, voice firm. “She wants to see me, she’s gonna see me on my terms, and I don’t… won’t leave you outta that, unless you don’t want to go.” He sighed, kissing you again, and was relieved when he felt your fingers against his side, running over the lines of his tattoo as you pulled yourself closer to his chest. “I’ll message back  tomorrow, and…”

 “Invite her to bring her husband, Ry.” You mumbled the words, voice slow and full of the onset of sleep. “Bet she won’t bring him.” No she definitely wouldn’t. 

--- 

 The next afternoon, you and Ryan parked in a small lot in front of a bakery called Kneaders, but once you put the car into park, you made no move to get out. “You ok?” He leaned over, reaching for you, and after a few seconds of quiet, you looked over at him, a bright - though somewhat forced smile on your face. 

 “Yes. Who wouldn’t be alright when they were about to meet their boyfriend’s ex, who for some reason is still trying to contact him after nearly four years and -” You cut yourself off, closing your eyes. “I can’t promise I’m going to be nice, Ryan, not the whole time anyway.” He laughed, squeezing your hand. 

 “Wouldn’t expect you to.” You looked back at him, a surprised expression on your face. “I’m just glad you’re here with me.” Your smile softened and you nodded. “Look, we do this… no more than an hour, and then we go back and wait for Ginny to come over to record, and then the three of us go out and have fun.” That’s all I want right now, just you and Ginny and that song, but… “We should go in, though, the longer we…” You were moving before he was done speaking, pulling the keys out of the ignition and getting out of the car, hood pulled up to combat the wind as you walked to his side of the car. It was snowing - just lightly, but you still stopped, waiting for him to step next to you. He reached for your hand, squeezing it once and then you moved to the door as Ryan’s arm wound around your waist and pulled you to his side. Here we go. 

 The inside of the cafe was nice - and Ryan would have felt out of place had he stopped in on his previous trips to Ogden, but standing next to you as you eyed your surroundings, he was comfortable. Jackie had picked the place, and as the two of you made your way inside, he realized why. She wanted to throw me off, wanted to make me focus on her and not… shit. “Fancy.” You leaned in, whispering the  word into his ear. “This somewhere you’d come when -”

 “No, not even close.” He turned his head to face you, feeling himself smile. “I’d be fine with a black coffee from a gas station, but…” You laughed, leaning into his shoulder, and Ryan felt a warmth that had nothing to do with the building you were in. “Want to order or should we -”

 “She’s over there, Ry. I saw her when we walked in.” You pulled your hand from his, reaching up to push your fingers through his hair. “Should probably go and introduce me first, and then I can go order while you… catch up.” You looked worried - but just for a second - and Ryan nodded, leaning in to press his lips against yours quickly, hearing the quiet intake of your breath. Nothin’ to worry about. 

 “Let’s get this over with.” He stood up, slowly turning to look through the seating area, which had more than a few people sitting in it, but Ryan found Jackie quickly, sitting at a small table near one of the front windows. She was wearing a tan coat, unbuttoned, but the red scarf still around her neck looked familiar. Is that?  You started walking first, heading for the woman, and Ryan followed, his heartbeat quickening with each step. “Hey, Jackie.” His voice sounding foreign to his ears, Ryan stopped next to the table where she sat, staring down. “How are you?” He watched as Jackie’s eyes widened again, her gaze settled on his face. Her hair was down and longer than it had been the last time he’d seen her in person, and though her face looked much the same, he saw that she looked tired, even though she had a small smile on her lips.

 “Ryan.” The way she said his name made him want to step back, but Ryan felt you next to him, your fingers again wound tightly with his, and so he stayed put. “It’s so good to see you. You look -”

 He cut Jackie off, nodding and clearing his throat. “Thanks.” Ryan glanced down, taking a deep breath before he introduced you by name, squeezing your hand tighter. “Where’s your h-”

 “He couldn’t make it, Ryan.” Jackie relaxed into her seat, still staring at Ryan, and he realized that she hadn’t even glanced at you, instead staying focused on him. Wow. “Had to work, so it’s just us.” She picked her mug up - and Ryan noticed that she was drinking tea instead of coffee. “Sit?” She used her tongue to dry her lips as she set it down, gesturing at the seat across from her. “You’ll have to pull up a second chair for her, but…”  Ryan caught the slight tic of her jaw as she referenced you, but instead of taking the seat, he pulled it out for you, gesturing for you to sit before he turned to his left, pulling an empty chair from a nearby table. As he settled in, Ryan debated over whether or not to put an arm around the back of your chair but chose not to. No reason to antagonize her, not until I know what she wants out of this. “So how have you been, Ryan? I’ve seen your Instagram, you’ve played a lot of places, and written a lot -”

 “I have.” He cleared his throat, leaning forward slightly. “Learned a lot in the last couple years, made some new friends, wrote a lot of new music, and it’s good.” Ryan smiled as he thought about the places that you’d been as time passed. “Been recordin’ with a lot of people, and…”

 “Recording?” She sounded surprised, leaning in too. “In a studio? I thought you -”

 “No.” He leaned back, looking over at you and seeing that you were watching him intently, a lopsided smile on your face and a calm look in your eyes. Good. She’s fine. “Just at home, or in our place, or…” He shrugged. “A studio’s great and all, but it’s not what I’m lookin’ for, and it’s one of the reasons we’ve been moving around so much, because it’s easier to see the people I need to see that way.” He watched Jackie’s eyebrows raise, the woman taking another drink of her tea. No ring, why isn’t she wearing her… “How ‘bout you, Jackie? Lia’s messaged me a couple times, seems like she’s … doing well.” 

 “She is. She’s so damn smart, Ryan, she wanted to see you too, when she found out that you were here, but she’s in school and…” Jackie’s voice changed as she talked about Lia and Ryan couldn’t help but smile, thinking of the girl. “She’s still playing your guitar, and she’s gotten so much better, we play together a couple nights a week and it’s…” Jackie reached over, stopping herself from touching Ryan’s hand and he had to force himself not to pull it back. “I don’t know why I never thought of trying to teach her, but now it’s like…” Jackie pressed her lips together. “You gave her somethin’ that I couldn’t, and…”

 “I’m glad, Jackie. You’ll have to tell her I said hi, that I’m sorry I missed her, woulda liked to see…” Ryan ran a hand through his hair. “Maybe I’ll message her, see how she’s doin’.” He looked over at you. “You want somethin’ to drink? We’ve been sitting here, and…”

 “Yeah, I can go order, do you want anything to eat?” He nodded, glancing over his shoulder at the menu.

 “You pick, you know what I like.” When he looked back at you, he saw that you were holding back a grin, agreeing as you stood. “You need -”

 “Nah, I got it.” You paused before heading to the counter, looking back at Jackie and addressing her directly. “Can I get you anything, Jackie?” Ryan’s eyes flicked to the blonde, waiting for her response. “Another tea, or maybe a muffin or…”

 “More tea would be great, thanks.” She pushed the mug across the table. “Herbal, the citrus?” You reached out, picking up the mug and nodding. “Maybe some of the cinnamon bread?” You didn’t reply before you turned, but Ryan knew you were annoyed, and though he wanted to look after you as you headed to order, he didn’t, instead turning back to Jackie and staring at her. Alright, you’ve got me alone, what do you really want? “You look incredible, Ryan.” Jackie leaned in, shoulders dropping. “You look...happy.” 

 “I am.” He gestured to you with one hand, staring at Jackie. “We are. She an’ I have been movin’ across the country, renovating houses and just… it’s been nice. I still get to travel and see the world, but it’s…”

 “What does she do?” Jackie sniffed. “She have a job, or -”

 “She’s a photographer. Had a couple gallery shows last year.” Ryan looked down at his hands, fingers knotted on the tabletop. “Was livin’ like me before we even met, and she understands me, Jackie. What I need and who I am.” He met the woman’s eyes again, narrowing his. “What I want. She’s supportive of my music, and … and it’s a nice change from everything bein’ so uncertain.” Jackie let out a breath, her thumb moving over her ring finger as if seeking out the band she usually wore. “I’m in love with her, Jackie. Have been for a while, and it’s… There’s never been anything like it before for me.” It was true, and though Ryan knew it was probably hard for the woman to hear, he didn’t want to sugarcoat anything. 

 “So you’ll stay with her.” Jackie set her lips in a straight line, staring at him. “Just meet her and stay with her and it’s no big deal but when -”

 “It wasn’t like that.” Not that it’s any of your business. “We met and spent a weekend together in Vegas, but it wasn’t… we both left, both went back to our lives after that, and it … there was a connection, Jackie, right from the beginning. We didn’t even see each other in person for almost a year after that first weekend, andd then I got hurt, and then when we did find each other again, it just… made sense. Both of us just want… I realized what’s important to me, and that’s why I stopped with the trains, stopped with the…”

 “Hurt?” She was concerned again, this time not stopping as she reached out and laid her hand on his sleeve. “What did… are you OK?” 

 “I’m fine now, but I got sidelined in St. Louis for months because I broke my wrist, couldn’t do anything about it, and…” Ryan shrugged, pulling his hand back and rubbing at his arm, his fingers pressing down on the tattoo there. “Made me think about a lot, Jackie, about what was important, what I needed, and what -”

 “She didn’t come get you? Didn’t come to you when you were -”

 “No.” He spoke the single word as a warning, voice dropping. “No, I lost my phone when I hurt myself, and she didn’t have any way of gettin’ ahold of me, and I couldn’t reach her either.” Ryan’s nose twitched as he leaned all the way back in his chair. “Worst three and a half months of my life, not bein’ able to let her know I was alright.” Jackie closed her eyes, collecting her thoughts. “So when I found her again, in a park in Philadelphia? Knew I had to do somethin’ about it. I was done with the road, done travelin’. I was only going back up the coast to see Georgie one more time, say goodbye, and it wasn’t… I shouldn’t have found her. She shouldn’t have found me, but we did. And I can’t ignore that.” 

 “Of course you can’t.” Jackie looked down at her own hands, the sleeves of her sweater pulled to her knuckles. “I guess I always thought, Ryan, that you came back to me once, so you’d do it again, when you got the … when you wanted to settle down?” Jackie ran a hand through her hair, a quiet laugh reaching his ears. “You never gave me a chance, Ryan, not a real one.” Yes I did. “When you said you’d stay here, with me… with us, I said I needed you to try, to get a job, to want to…”

 “I did, Jackie. But it wasn’t enough. Ogden wasn’t enough, bein’... in the middle of a family wasn’t enough. I needed  to do things on my own because I wanted to, not because you told me to.” He looked down and then back over his shoulder at you, seeing that you were next to order. “I needed to build my own life, not let someone… move things around and make space for me.” She inhaled, holding her breath, and Ryan kept going. “I told you on the phone that I didn’t want to come back  and see you, I didn’t need to, that I didn’t… I wasn’t going to make decisions for you.” Ryan pointed at her hand. “You’re not wearin’ a ring right now, but you were with your husband the other night. You got married, Jackie, so that means that you gave up on me comin’ back, or … at the very least, don’t want it as much anymore.” It was the most he’d ever said to the woman in one conversation, but Ryan felt good about being honest with Jackie, face to face. “We had a few good days, Jackie. Some good times when I was here, but that’s it.” He leaned in, lowering his voice. “What is it that you said, sometimes people just come through to tell you somethin’ and it’s alright that they go? That’s what I did. And it is alright. Because you met him and I met her, and I’m supposed to be with her. It feels right, and that’s not gonna change.” 

 “Does she know?” Jackie swallowed, eyes glistening. “Does she know what I meant to you, what -” You didn’t… it didn’t… 

 “She knows everything.” He felt his lip curl. “And there’s nothing that you can say or do that’s going to change my mind, Jackie. I don’t -”

 “Sorry that took so long.” You returned to the table, a small tray in one hand and a drink carrier in the other. “Decided to get a bread and pastry sampler, so…” Ryan reached over, automatically taking the tray from your hands and setting it down, your quiet thanks following. “Only one cinnamon bread so you can have that, Jackie, but…” You lowered yourself into your set, and Ryan watched as you looked first at him and then at Jackie, frowning. “Everything OK?” There was a few seconds of quiet and then Jackie’s expression changed, her lips shifting into a wide smile. 

 “Yes. Everything’s great, Ryan was just telling me about how the two of you met.” She licked her lips, and Ryan watched as she unwrapped the scarf before shrugging out of her coat. “But if you’ll excuse me for a few minutes, I just have to…” Jackie slid sideways on the booth bench, and then as she stood, Ryan felt his eyes widen. What? “I’ll be right back.” Jackie passed by him, and Ryan felt her hand brush up against his shoulder as she moved. That was on purpose, but… she… He waited to speak and then turned in his seat to look at you, seeing that your eyes were wide and you were watching him with one eyebrow raised. “I… is she…”

 “Ryan…” You reached toward him, laying your hand atop his on the table. “Are -”

 “She’s pregnant?” His voice low, Ryan shook his head. “She’s acting like this and she’s…” Jesus. 

 --- 

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[nonbelievcr]

[ LAURA HARRIER, CIS WOMAN, SHE/HER  ] right, here are the files we have on THE PREPPER  ——— BARRETT, REGINA. 31 years old, CIVILIAN. current employment looks like a VETERINARIAN & OWNER OF LITTLE WHISKERS ANIMAL CARE CENTER. current residence is a FARM in KIRBY LAKE for the past 31 YEARS. current views have been noted as SLIGHTLY AGAINST THE COTC. current risk level has been listed as LOW.

YOUR SIN IS: GLUTTONY.

mrow hello, i’m cee ( she / her ) n i am currently watching the x files non-stop. i love girls who would punch my lights out, hence i’m writing reggie. i have,, zero knowledge of far cry BUT i lov me a good ol’ cult plot so ! here i am. plenty more deets below, if u can’t get thru her background section i understand and can tell u in a quadruple msg over discord instead x that being said ! if u find it easier to plot on discord rather than tumblr’s desgosteng im system, that’s cool! lmk and we can chat there :]

AESTHETICS

leather boots scuffed and cracked, a warped transistor radio playing tinnily at first morning light, tarnished gold heirlooms, hair pulled back in a ponytail tight enough to induce a headache, grooves on the bridge of the nose where glasses were, caustic insults on the tongue, grass that glistens with dew, bitter winters, the unending drive to be perfect, burn scars on the fingertips, the crack of a gunshot, sweetness of damp stock feed. 

BACKGROUND

eden county, born and raised. the second child and only daughter to hugh and layla barrett, it should have been expected that both parents doted her as the only girl. it was quite the opposite, in fact. her brother ignatius had the spotlight from the get-go, tall and handsome and smart. so smart, it made him arrogant. so smart, it made regina break herself in order to try and best him.

she had it all, though it was never enough. patent leather and pretty frocks for church and sunday school, private tuition to learn how to play cello and eventually, a nanny. regina, while wanting to best ignatius, soon became rebellious. as young as eight she was minded by someone else, an aging woman from the prim and proper side of town to try and soften her. it didn’t work, to her parents’ dismay. one time the woman left their property cursing her, half her face splattered with mud and pig shit. perhaps, she thought, perhaps it was enough when the split of her father’s twenty-two echoed into the night when she was small, heard over the dead-quiet of hushed breathing while she and her brother hid in the farmhouse basement.

with a good head on her shoulders and an attitude to boot, it wasn’t simply grades the teachers knew her for. smart backhand comments, tormented classmates. it became so to the point where by high school she was on her own, a loner, quiet and clammed up but somehow still the flyer for the cheer team. seemingly good at everything, the university offers that flooded in spoke for themselves.

seventeen and a freshly graduated high schooler, she’s gone. out of the house, to both regina and her parents’ relief. somewhere down in boulder, colorado breaking her back for a veterinary science degree, eating alone in the dining hall. dad says she’ll get the clinic if she studies it. she makes him keep to his word. 

halfway through her third year, her parents arrive. they’re cheerful when they offer ( insist ) to take her for lunch. there’s a strange boy there with his parents when they arrive at the restaurant. family friends, they tell her, with a son about her age. although nobody says it, there’s an odd feeling that there’s an expectation on both of their shoulders to date. love each other. marry. he’s head over heels for her. regina can’t wait for him to give up. he doesn’t, and to silence the endless slew of polite questions from her parents about whether she’s been to talk to him, she caves in and goes on a date.

he’s not bad, by any standard. kind. smart. determined, if not a bit of a pushover when he’s with her. months of dating turns into a relationship and as soon as she’s gotten a shiny new bachelor’s degree, he proposes. she says yes, because the pleading look in his eyes and the expectant gaze of her mother makes her cave, yet again. her father offers to cover the costs of the wedding, with a nice hefty gift on top of that for her new fiance.

two years later, twenty-five and fallen out of a feigned love, she’s blunt in telling him she wants him to leave. have her own life and her own money. it’s been a long time coming, he knows, having slept on the couch for the last fortnight. there’s no divorce, not properly. just regina halfheartedly apologising to him, making sure he keeps the money her father gave him. besides, they’ll still bump into each other on the street from time to time. maybe.

he’s gone. out of eden county before shit hits the fan again. just like her parents, who left the week of their wedding to move out to shitsville, minnesota to live with ignatius. he’s in the middle of nowhere and yet they still love him, a humble banker with a rolex and mercedes benz. he’s more tolerable, anyway. not paranoid like her, oh no. 

it’s then, alone, regina quietly lines the walls with supplies. ammo, food, water, a little tucked away in her basement, some of it tucked away in scattered spots over the farmland, some further into town. it makes perfect sense to her when she catches wind that her dear ex-husband has somehow wound up with the chosen. something, someone mumbles, about a promise that she would love him again. but she’s making bank now - suck on that, ignatius. secrets are worth far more than stocks here, and it’s the thing keeping her alive. 

WANTED PLOTS

growing pains: regina’s childhood friends. someone she’s confided in, and still does. someone who would’ve loved to see her topple down from her pedestal in high school. someone she lost touch with after graduation.

take care: a tentative friendship. regina won’t admit to it, but she likes your company.

eardrum buzz: the trusted individual she’ll go game hunting with.

bones: those who’ve been on the receiving end of her twenty-two. a more than unwelcome presence on her farm.

terrible things that could happen: those that come to her for information. perhaps this is your first time nervously trudging up the driveway. perhaps you’re used to sitting in the kitchen late at night with the smell of acrid coffee in your nose and the murmur of sullen conversation.

[unpack-my-heart]

Above, Beneath, Betwixt, Between - Chapter 9

@tinyarmedtrex​ @violetreddie​ @eds-trashmouth​ @constantreaderfool​ @xandertheundead​ @moonlightrichie​ @deadlighten​ @appojoos​ @annoyingtozier​ @burymestanding​

Read on AO3 HERE

The kiss changes both everything and nothing at all. The everything that changes, the hands that reach for each other in the hushed dawn, the eyes that lock over morning cereal, the afternoon laughs that melt into each other, the evening caresses on smalls of backs, is painfully overshadowed by the nothing. This nothing looms over their every moment, stolen moments shared together in ecstasy, rapturous but constantly aware of the behemoth that sits in the corner of the room and spits at them.

Richie’s leaving. A fact as constant, as reliable, as the autumn wind.

If Eddie hadn’t hung onto Richie’s forearm with a vice-grip as Richie welcomed the estate agent into the house, if Eddie hadn’t sat on the porch, face schooled into careful apathy as the estate agent took photos of the now finished cottage, if Eddie hadn’t sobbed with wild abandon into the frigid midnight air, great wracking moans that heaved Richie’s heart out of his chest with ghostly arms, Richie wouldn’t have guessed anything was going to change. But everything was going to change. Everything, and nothing at all.

It takes three weeks for Richie to book his flights. He opens and closes the page, getting as far as typing Edinburgh International to LAX into the search bar, but without fail, his hands shake violently and the laptop slides off his lap with a satisfying thud. Eventually, with a belly full of Dutch courage and Eddie squeezing his hand, he manages it. His flight leaves in a month.

The house sells easily. A young couple buys it, and they visit three times before putting the offer in. The man brays about the way the light floods into the study in the morning, and the woman squeals about the terrace balcony on the second bedroom. Richie accepts the offer, despite the fact it’s five grand under the asking price.

One week later and the For Sale sign is replaced by a bright red beacon, SOLD. More times than he’d ever admit, Richie catches Eddie staring at the sign with malice in his eyes. Richie always makes sure that he looks away before Eddie can catch him staring.

Two weeks, and they’ve hit the half way point. They’re still sleeping in separate rooms. Eddie had packed all of his possessions into boxes the day after Richie had booked his plane ticket. Richie only lasted six minutes of watching Eddie carefully fold his jumpers and his socks and those fucking tartan pyjamas before he had to excuse himself to wail violently in the bathroom. He’d given himself three minutes, before wiping his eyes furiously with a balled up piece of toilet paper, and emerging from the bathroom with a watery smile and tired eyes. But, as soon as he caught sight of Eddie sat on the bed, one of Richie’s old fleeces clutched in his hands, his attempts at self-preservation proved futile. They’d collapsed in a heap on the bed, a mass of shaking limbs, clutching, scrabbling hands and hushed confessions. I adore you, I adore you, I adore you.

Three weeks. They’d spent the last days in bed, moving for nothing but sprints to the toilet and visits to the kitchen. They don’t fuck. Richie surprises himself with the realisation that he doesn’t want to fuck Eddie. Not yet. He can’t bear the thought of their first time being a goodbye fuck, a ‘I’m sorry I’m leaving you’ fuck, a ‘you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me and I’m still going to leave you anyway’ fuck. So they don’t. They lie together, they touch often and kiss sometimes. Eddie drags his nails down Richie’s arm absently, a soft scratchy feeling, as if to remind Richie that he’s still here, if only for now. Richie spends most of his time running his hands through Eddie’s hair, hair that was once immortalised in a plastic-perfect quiff but now stands on end, wild and free. They talk, regale each other with animated stories from their past. Richie tells Eddie of Bev, of Bill and Ben and the time they all got drunk and swam in the water feature of their college, he tells Eddie about his mother, about the time she took him apple picking when he was seven. Eddie tells Richie about his mother, a long, painful tale that ends in sorrow, but he also tells Richie about Rupert, and how they’d met and how the sky caught fire the first time they’d kissed. Richie had expected jealousy to bloom in his stomach, hot and bitter, but it didn’t.

“What’s America like?” Eddie asks on a Wednesday afternoon.

Richie tightens his grip around Eddie’s waist. “It’s … pretty fuckin’ shit most of the time, corrupt politicians and gun crime and hatred and bigotry but …”

“But what?”

“My parents lives there, and … it’s home, it’s shitty, but it’s home. Well, it was home, I guess”

“Was home? Why? What changed?”

“You gonna make me spell it out for you, Eddie Spaghetti?”

“You know I am,” Eddie said, batting his eyelashes coquettishly. Richie rolled his eyes.

“You’re such a little shite, you know”

“That sounded pretty Scottish”

“Mike’s been rubbing off on me”

“I should jolly well hope he hasn’t been rubbing off on you,” Eddie said with a faux-stern expression that was so ridiculously, so absurdly Eddie that Richie couldn’t take it anymore.

“Eddie?”

“Yeah?”

“Eddie, you know – I … You know that I really …”

“What? C’mon Rich, spit it out”

“I …”

“Richie”

“I really think we should mow the lawn tomorrow afternoon”

“…Oh”

– X –

Richie loved Eddie. It was a fact as clear as ice, as real as snow, as blatantly obvious as the nose on his face. The “I adore you’s” flowed easily, the “you’re my entire world and more” came naturally, but the admission of love, the wrenching his chest open, displaying his heart, that was different.  Telling Jasmine he loved her had been easy, partly because he’d never meant it. Endless false confessions. Perhaps it was cruel. Regret wasn’t something that Richie was used to.

“I’m going to stay with Mike”

“Huh?”

Eddie slumped down onto the sofa next to Richie, and tucked his head neatly into the junction between Richie’s neck and shoulder.

“I’ve asked him, and he said I could stay with him until you … if you … y’know. Until then”

“You know I’m coming back, right? I’m going to come back for you”

“I know you want to”

“Eddie,” Richie implored, shifting on the sofa until he was looking directly into Eddie’s eyes, “you’ve got to believe me, I’m going to come back for you”

“I believe you’re going to try”

Richie grabbed Eddie’s hands. “Eddie, please”

“Mike said I can take Mr Chips out anytime I like, I might bring him around here, check up on the house sometimes”

“Don’t change the subject”

“I hope they don’t change the house too much, I’d be ever so sad if I came back and it looked different, if it looked –”

“Eddie!”

Eddie closed his eyes, pulling away from Richie slightly.

“If you promise you’re coming back to me, it makes it too hard. I’ll just sit and wait, and I can’t … I can’t do that”

“I told you, I’m coming –”

“Don’t,” Eddie said, eyes still closed, “stop it. Just – tell me you’ll try and that’ll be enough”

“I’ll try”

– X –

Mike calls it a practice run. A trial run, he’d said, seeing as the last time Eddie stayed with him ended in a sleepless night for all three of them. Eddie’s reticent at first, initially refusing on the grounds of being patronised, but initially relenting after Richie pleaded with him that it probably was a good idea, if not for Eddie then for himself. Slowly, like melting ice, Eddie agrees. They bundle themselves into Richie’s car, the same car that Richie will return to the dealer the morning he leaves, and drive to Mike’s.

Mike’s house is warm, almost uncomfortably so, and Richie watches as Eddie peels his sweater over his head, face flushed red.

“Thanks for this, Mike. You’re a good friend”

“What about me?”

A familiar voice echoed from the kitchen.

“What the fucking fuck? Stan?!”

“Such a lovely greeting, Richard. Ever the pleasure to see you,” Stan said, sardonically, as he passed Mike a small tumbler of honey-coloured liquid.

“I thought you’d flown back to Ireland?”

“I did. I came back, though. I’ve grown rather fond of Scotland, and the things that live in Scotland”

Mike’s face flushed scarlet, and Richie hooted with joy.

“Well, well, well! The plumber and the wizard, a true storybook romance”

“Richard, do shut up. How are you feeling, Eddie? Mike tells me you’ll be staying with us for a while,” Stan said, turning to face a rather down-trodden looking Eddie.

“I – I was, but if you’re staying here too, I don’t want to … I don’t want to impose, you know”

“Shush, you’re more than welcome here. Has Richie told you about Skype?”

“Skype?”

Stan rolled his eyes at Richie. “Have you really not told him about Skype? Isn’t that what all the long-distance lovers are doing these days? Skype sex?”

Richie slapped a hand over Stan’s mouth, but got bitten for his efforts.

“Take your damn hoof off my mouth, Richie! All I’m trying to do is help you in your long sexless months ahead”

“We haven’t … um … we haven’t done that, not yet” Eddie stammered, face letter-box red.

“You haven’t? Huh. Well, Skype does serve purposes other than getting you virtually laid, I suppose. Do you still want me to show you what it is?”

Eddie nodded wordlessly, and followed Stan into Mike’s office leaving Richie and Mike standing in the living room.

“Ah take it ye told ‘im then?”

“Whatever do you mean, Michael?”

“Ye know exactly wha’ ah mean,” Mike said, passing Richie his own tumbler of whiskey before going to pour himself another. “Ye know exactly what I mean. The fact ye didn’t balk when Stan mentioned you two fuckin’? That’s how ah know ye know what ah mean”

Richie slumped into the cushiony arm chair, folding his limbs awkwardly. “Yeah, I guess I told him”

“It went well though, aye?”

“Sort of. I mean, he feels the same and … I know he knows that I adore him, but how well could it possibly go when I’m leaving him the day after tomorrow to fly back home to a country I no longer consider my home?”

Mike sipped his whiskey coolly, “ah see”

Richie sighed. He could hear Eddie’s voice floating through the house from the office, Stan’s voice chasing it.

“If ya don’t come back, if ya decide to stay in America, yer gonna have to tell him yerself. Ah won’t do it for ya”

“I am coming back,” Richie spat, but Mike just shook his head.

“Ah know ya think ya are, but be realistic, Rich. It’s a big commitment to make to someone ye’v only been involved with for a few weeks”

“That’s … that doesn’t even make sense, I’ve … I’ve loved Eddie for longer than a few fuckin’ weeks, Mikey, you know that”

“Aye. I do, but does he?”

“…Yes. He must know, I tell him all the time how much I adore him”

“Aye, I’m sure ya do. But does he know ya love him? It’s different,” Mike said, simply.

“I haven’t … managed to say those words yet. Not exactly, but he knows. He must know”

– X –

“Hiya, Eds”

“Hello, love”

Richie’s heart swells.

“This is weird”

“I know”

Silence falls around them. Eddie’s face, pixelated and two-dimensional on Richie’s screen, looks small and distant, and Richie’s fingers itch with the desire to reach out and stroke Eddie’s cheek. He does just that, but instead of flesh, warm and soft, the pads of his fingers meet glass, unmoving, cold.

“How are you?”

“I saw you less than three hours ago, Rich”

“I know, but a lot can change in three hours. Have Mike and Stan convinced you to have a threesome with them, yet?” Richie asks, cringing immediately as the words leave his mouth, but Eddie just laughs.

“Not yet, but hey, you never know, loneliness does strange things to a boy”

“Do you think you’re going to be lonely?” Richie asks, and now it’s serious. The smile slips off Eddie’s face like butter.

Eddie shrugs, a tiny movement Richie can barely see. “I guess. Probably”

“We’ll skype every day right? I’ll ring you twice a day, if I have to. We’ll talk all the damn time. Ask Mike to get you a phone, we can text, we can –”

“Rich,” Eddie interrupts, “it’s going to be okay. You don’t have to talk to me every waking second of every day. I’m going to be fine”

“It’s not you I’m worried about,” Richie mutters, but thankfully, Eddie doesn’t hear him.

They talk for hours, until Richie’s eyes start to droop, weighed down with leaden tiredness, and the pauses between their conversation grow longer and longer until they’ve drifted in and out of sleep in comfortable silence for over an hour. The last thing that Richie mutters to the slumbering Eddie are those words he can’t bring himself to say when Eddie’s awake.

[dyaz-stories]

The classic 154

Aaah,bless you for sending this, this is honestly one of my favoritetrope I was so happy to get this!

154. “There’s only one bed”

So this is more or less a follow-upto my Pregnant from a one-night Stand AU, which I hope you won’tmind! It’s not a direct follow-up, and I’ll probably write moreone-shots around this in semi-continuity. I’ll tag people whomentioned they’d be interested in reading more of this here, feel free to let me know if you’d like to be tagged for this… or not (this would be updated super irregularly to be honest). Hopeyou enjoy!

@cammysansstuff @tsukinohimeusagi @umacaking @inuyashaeienni @coquinespike

“Yeah,yeah, I’m coming!”Inuyasha growled, walking to the door. “Ain’t no need to teardown the fucking— Kagome?”

Shit.That woman needed to stop surprising him like that, because here shewas, standing on his doorstep with her son — theirson — in her arms, and he had probably just made a total ass ofhimself. Again.

“Hi,I’m sosorry to come here without a warning but—”

“Notat all,” he managed to mumble. “Don’t stay out there, c’monin. Ah, and don’t pay attention to the mess.” He wasn’t exactlyknown for being organized and, well, the place could definitely haveused some cleaning, but Kagome didn’t say anything when she walkedin, holding Hoshiki tightly against her.

Shestill took in the small apartment. The room when they were in barelyhad enough space for a table and two chairs, plus a TV and aarmchair. There was nothing on the walls, and it all felt somewhatimpersonal. From where she was, she could see the door opening onwhat she assumed was his room. It wasn’t big or anything, but shedecided it suited him. Despite knowing him for a short while, shecould tell it wouldn’t have been like him to have more space thanstrictly needed.

Inuyashagrinned when his son reached out for him, recognizing him not onlyphysically but in his scent, just like he had identified him quicklywhen they had first met. It was then that he really looked at Kagome.She wasn’t even wearing a coat, even though they were in autumn,and she looked surprisingly lost.

“Here,let me take ‘im,” he offered.

Shehanded the boy to him without a word, then rubbed her arms, and hecouldn’t help but frown. He felt strongly protective of the woman,though they had only known each other for a while — and even then,saying they kneweach other seemed like a very strong term to describe their actualrelationship.

“What’sgoing on?” he asked her, his voice deep and serious while hemotioned to grab his red jacket and put it on her shoulders.

Atthat, she started, but there was an ocean of gratitude in her eyeswhen she looked up at him. Something that made him feel a littleuncomfortable, or at least, that was how he interpreted this strangestir in his stomach.

“Therewas a fire at my apartment complex,” she mumbled, wrapping herselftightly in the garment. “We had to go out in a rush, though theythink they’ll be able to minimize the damage, apparently but— Myfamily’s out of town and I didn’t where to go and—”

“Don’t,”he interrupted her, ignoring the feeling of dread he’d gotten whenshe mentioned the danger they had both been in but holding his son alittle tighter against him. He felt the fierce urge to protect themboth, probably a normal instinct among other demons, but its strengthtook him by surprise just now. “No need to apologize. If ya don’tmind, you can spend the night here, and then we’ll see tomorrow howthis turns out, if that’s fine with ya.”

Shegave him a weak smile. “That sounds good,” she replied softly.

“Helooks exhausted anyway,” he said, pointing at Hoshiki whose headwas already resting on his chest, “so, erm, I— I have a cradlefor him. We can put him in the living room. There’s only one bed,but you can take it, ‘kay?”

Hefelt weirdly self-conscious for how small his place was. Not that hewould have had any need for more; but still, somehow he would haveliked to be able to give them more than this.

“Youhave a cradle?” Kagome asked, tilting her head.

Hefelt himself blushing a little. “So what?” he growled, probablymore defensive than he needed to be. Yeah, he’d bought one, just incase, or quite possibly in hope,that they would come to an arrangement when he would spend more timewith the kid. Up until then, they had seen each other a few times,and she had even left him with Hoshiki for a couple of hours at apark. He understood that she wanted to make sure he would be good forthe child, and he respected that he had to earn that trust, but thatdidn’t mean a guy couldn’t dream, right?

“Nothing,”she said, shaking her head, trying with little success to hide herbright smile. She loved that he was getting more involved inHoshiki’s life, and that he clearly wanted more. The more love thekid could get, the better. “Just… I’m afraid he’s making histeeth at the moment, so the night might not be easy.”

Hefrowned a little at the information. He couldn’t help but feel alittle… Maybe not hurt, but sad that he didn’t know that. Hewanted to be there for that stuff too; not just the happy moments,but also the crappy ones. Because it was his son, sure, but alsobecause he wanted to take parts of that burden off of her. “Yeah,that ain’t easy for us,” he mumbled. “Because we heal so fast,y’know? So it can take a while. Anyway, don’t worry ‘bout it. Idon’t mind.”

Kagomenodded, uncertain of what she should say now, swaying on her feet. Itoccurred to her that she was in a near stranger’s apartment, andfor a second, she was genuinely worried about it. But seeing the manholding her baby — again, theirbaby — so gently and carefully, knowing he’d bought a cradle forthe kid, she just had that strange conviction that everything wouldbe alright. She was rather good with her intuition, most of the time.Not to plan what was going to happen to her, clearly, but she wasrarely wrong when she saw good in people.

“Wannause the bathroom while I get him ready?” he offered, taking hermind away from her thoughts. “Y’can borrow one of my shirts ifyou’re okay with that.”

“Oh,sure, thanks!“

“Just—Grab one in my room, ‘kay? The bathroom’s over there,” hepointed out, though it really wasn’t necessary considering howsmall the place was. “There are clean towel under the sink if youneed any and—”

“Thankyou, Inuyasha,” she chuckled lightly, resting a hand on his arm fora moment. “I’m sure I’ll be fine. Oh, and I’ve started usingthe gloves you gave me! He doesn’t really have claws yet, but Ithought better safe than sorry, right?”

Hewatched her as she reached in her bag and then handed it to him. Thefabric had survived the years without any problem, and he suspectedhis father had owned it for a very long time, until his mom had usedit for this, after his dad no longer needed it. His throat tightenedas he watched her putting them on the kid carefully.

Itfelt weird. To see someone actually loving a half-demon, it felt…It felt weird, but it also felt good.

Hecouldn’t help the way his eyes followed her in the bathroom, butthen he shook his head, attempting to get himself back on track.

“Let’sget you in bed before your mama comes back, buddy,” he toldHoshiki. He earned a happy babble, and he couldn’t help but smileas his heart swelled with the most intense sort of love he’d everfelt. Nothing could compare to what he felt for this little guy. Itwas very different from anything else he had ever experienced, but heknew he’d do anything for him, do anything so he wouldn’t behurt.

Andsurely, what he was feeling for Kagome was just an extension of that.

Whenshe came out of the shower, she found him sitting on a chair next toa sleeping Hoshiki, and once more, a new warmth filled her chest. Itwasn’t like she had thought she was lackingsomething,nor that she believed she wasn’t giving enough to her baby, butthere was just something truly special about seeing Inuyasha herewith him.

Helooked up almost immediately, and an unusual tension seemed to arisebetween them. She noticed the way his eyes took her in, the way theywidened just a little and then how, when he glanced away, hisshoulders and his jaw had tensed. She herself found she needed torepress a shiver.

Yeah.Things… Things were weird. It would have been useless denying theyfound each other attractive. Hoshiki was truly the proof of that,wasn’t he? But they hadn’t planned on a tomorrow. Well— if shewas honest, she wouldn’t have minded, that night. Sure, he’dgotten on her nerves a bit, but she had thought there was so muchmore to that broody guy under the surface, and she would have lovedto discover more. She had even considered bringing it up in themorning. Except that he had been gone when she woke up. Hotel roomwas paid, which she appreciated, but the encounter had still felt abit bitter.

Sheguessed she understood him much better now. Still, they had avoidedweird moments in the time they had spent together since theirencounter, but it probably couldn’t last forever. Sooner or later,they would have to address it.

“Whereare you going to sleep?” she asked him softly. She hadn’t givenit much thought, but he didn’t have a couch, after all.

“GuessI’ll take the floor or something,” he shrugged, avoiding hereyes.

Whata fucking moron he was. Offering her to take a shower? He should haveknownit would make her scent come out, and he already found itirresistible the rest of the fucking time… And the shirt? What waswrongwith him? This was basics for a dog-demon. The mix of his scent withhers just made him feel more… More… Ah, dammit.

Worstpart was, maybe it had been intentional, to a degree. He already knewthe way his instincts considered her, after all. Still, it just feltwrong. She didn’t know about it, and he didn’t how to express anyof his emotions when it came to her.

“Ohno,” she protested, frowning. “I can’t let you do that! I’dfeel horrible!”

Heblinked a couple of times, looking at her in confusion.

“Thenwhat d’ya suggest?” It came out more agressive then he’dintended, and he cursed himself. He needed to fucking work on that.At least around her, and particularly around the kid. He would hateto snap at him like that just because he couldn’t do better.

Kagomedidn’t seem to be bothered. She simply rolled her eyes. “We’readults, Inuyasha. We can share a bed.” Weliterally have a child together.

Heswallowed, then nodded. “Keh. Yeah. You’d better not take all theblankets.” Shit, why was he so ridiculous? “Go ahead. I’ll trynot to wake you up when I arrive.”

Shegave him a satisfied smile, but before stepping out of the room, shetook a few steps towards him. “I really appreciate how much youtake care of Hoshiki, and that you’re letting us stay here for thenight” she said gently. “I just want you to know it goes bothway, okay?”

Fuck.He had… He had a really hard time dealing with people being nice tohim. Thankfully — or, well, maybe not — it didn’t happen often,but he hoped he didn’t look ridiculous when he didn’t sayanything back and simply nodded.

Onlythen, looking like someone happy with a work well done, did she walkout of the room.

Whenhe joined her after a long, coldshower, she was on her side, and based on her soft, even breath, heassumed that she was already asleep. Which was a relief, probably, hethought as he silently slipped in bed next to her. Despite his words,he pulled most of the blanket on her. She had looked really cold whenshe had walked in, and he, as a half-demon, wasn’t really sensitiveto that sort of stuff.

Afterwatching her back for a few moments, wondering what was going throughher mind, and also how she could fall asleep at a stranger’s placeso easily, with an anger he couldn’t quite understand but which heassumed to still be part of his protectiveness, he finally closed hiseyes.

Heexpected sleep to be hard to find, particularly with her by his side,but while her scent made it impossible to focus just a few momentsearlier, right now, he found that having her and his son close to himmade him relax easily. Probably still something that came from hisinstincts, at the thought that his family — his pack, perhaps —was around him, where he could protect them. Not that the priestesswho was sleeping next to him would have needed any, but still.

Itonly took a couple of minutes before he was sound asleep.

Kagomejerked up as the first cry broke through the night. For one second,she felt panicked and bewildered, not recognizing her surroundings,but still hearing her son screaming. Hoshiki!She needed to— Ah, right, she was at Inuyasha’s place. Still, shetried to get herself out of bed and pull herself from under theblankets she seemed to be entangled in, despite his warning.

“That’sokay,” a sleepy voice mumbled, next to her. “Don’t move, I gotit.”

Sheturned around to find Inuyasha’s back, sitting on the bed, hissilver hair reflecting the pale light of the moon.

“Heprobably needs changing,” she said. “I have—”

“Don’tworry, I have everything I need,” he yawned, standing up andstretching himself, giving her a nice view at his back, and shedidn’t know what impressed her more, the muscles or the fact thathe had apparently truly thought this through and was taking this soseriously. She picked the latter as she let her head fall back on thepillow. Wow. It had been an eternitysince she had been able to do that. She watched as he walked out ofthe room, and listened as the crying stopped, replaced by his deepwhisper.

Aftera few moments, she got up and tiptoed to the room. She found Hoshikichanged, and Inuyasha holding him in his arms, maybe somewhatclumsily but very tenderly, trying to get him to go back to sleep.She took a moment to watch them, as she was filled with warmth onceagain. When Inuyasha looked up, she finally approached them, leaningtowards the kid over his shoulder.

“Youcan put him back in, he will fall asleep soon,” she explainedsoftly. “He’s a very calm baby, and he doesn’t fall asleep aseasily if we’re around.”

“Erm,yeah, I just— I guess I just wanted to—” He stopped himself,embarrassed. He was probably being ridiculous, but he had a hard timeadmitting how much he cared for the kid out loud. He hadn’t knownhim for long, but he would still die for him.

“Tohold him?” Kagome rested his head on his shoulder for a moment,holding out a finger for the kid to catch in his hand, but she pulledit out of reach before he could put it in his mouth. “No honey,”she cooed, “you know it took a week for mama to heal last time!”

Inuyashagrinned. “Keh, already a fighter, aren’t ya? But you should pickbetter opponents, buddy. Your mom isn’t exactly a threat.”

Kagomelaughed at his words. “Don’t listen to your dad,” shecontinued. “Trustme,I’m the most dangerous person you’ll encounter.”

“Bythat, she means she’ll be the one who’ll say no when you want togo out late.”

“Exactly.”

Thentheir eyes met, shining with the complicity of a moment shared. Shewas smiling brightly, and even he was smirking, and somethingpassed between them. They didn’t have the time to identify it, butit was probably at that moment that it became obvious that theycouldn’t walk away from each other. It wasn’t just about theone-night stand — they sharedsomething. Hoshiki, obviously, but it became clear thenthat it was about more than blood. It was about the love and the carethey had for him. They wouldbe together in this, one way or another.

“I’mgoing to bed,” Kagome said, still keeping her voice low. “You canstay with him if you want, but just know, he’s going to wake upseveral more times during the night. If I were you, I’d enjoy thesleep while I can.”

Hesighed, but followed her advice. These were things he wished he knewalready, but the best thing he could do for Hoshiki was to learn. Andboy, did he want to.

Helaid the kid back down as she walked out of the room, stroking hisface gently and earning a happy little laugh for it. Fuck. Was itpossible to love someone so much you could die? Because he definitelyfelt like that right now. He took a few more moments there, juststaring back in his son’s eyes, silently promising him that hewould neverlet him go through the same things he had experienced. He’d movemountains for him if he had to, and right now, he felt like he couldchange the world for him too. But he wouldn’t let him get hurt. Notever.

Hejoined Kagome once more, trying to be as silent as possible. Still,only a few seconds after he had laid down, she called out “Inuyasha?”

Herolled around to find her facing him, and she stared into his goldeneyes with a happy expression he didn’t recall ever seeing whensomeone was looking at him. “I’m really glad you’re here,”she said. “I think it’s really important for Hoshiki, and I’m—I’m glad it’s you.You’re doing a great job with him already.”

Damn.He didn’t know why, but he felt like crying. He hadn’t cried whenhe had found out he had a son, maybe because of all the ways he knewhe could fuck this up, but this?This was getting to him.

Beforehe could reply, as he willed back, she leaned in and kissed him onthe cheek, softly. “So you won’t mind getting up for him for thenight, right?”

Therewas a teasing tone in his voice, and he chuckled in response. “You’relucky I like the kid.”

“He’sa great kid,” she said warmly. “We can try to make you meet more,if you’d like to. I’ll see what’s happening for my apartment,and then we can figure that out, okay?”

“Let’sdo that.”

“Youshould really try to get some sleep.”

“Iwould if you stopped talking.”

Therewas another laugh. It wasn’t that different from Hoshiki, hedecided, and this had to be why he liked it that much.

Yeah.That hadto be the reason.

Kagomewoke up as the sun was rising after the first good night of sleep shehad gotten in forever.She looked at the arm around her waist in confusion, and when shetried to turn around, she found Inuyasha pressed against her, hisface buried in her neck. He seemed deeply asleep, and she couldn’tblamed him. He had gotten up several more times in the night, and sheknew of experience how hard that could be.

Shetried to get up without waking him up, but he jumped the second shemoved. For a brief moment, he looked horrified when he looked at her,but before she could gather why, he had removed his arms and wasscrambling back.

“Shit,‘m sorry, I didn’t mean to…”

“It’sokay,” she soothed him immediately. She hadn’t minded, really. Infact, if she was honest, it had been… rather nice. “Just stayhere. Do you have something to make breakfast?”

Therewas a moment of silence.

“Ithink I have eggs. Want me to help?”

“Youshould—”

“I’ma half-demon,remember? I don’t need nearly as much sleep as humans.”

Hermouth dropped open. Oh wow, that explained a lotaboutHoshiki, and she had no idea about that.

“Imean, you don’t have to,” she said hesitantly. “You let us staythe night, that’s the least I can do.”

Andthis was how Inuyasha found himself in front of scrambled eggs whileKagome proceeded to breastfeed Hoshiki. This felt good. It feltright. It felt… It felt like a family.

Well,up until she took a look at her phone, gasped, and got up. “Ireally need to go. Apparently they saved most apartments, but I stillneed to check it as soon as possible. You have my number, right?Just— Call me and we’ll figure something out for Hoshiki.”

Already,she was hurrying to gather her stuff. Before he knew it, she was atthe door, where he joined her to open it.

“Thankyou,Inuyasha,” she said as she walked out. “I mean it. I owe you.”Her hand brushed against his for just an instant, and withoutthinking, he briefly squeezed her fingers. The contact lasted a fewseconds more than necessary, and he hoped that it conveyed what hecouldn’t say out loud. That he didn’t want her to owe him, thathe wanted to become a part of her life, of theirlife, and that he wanted this to be normal. That he wanted her to beable to count on him.

Whenher smile widened, he decided it did.

Hehad a hard time going back in his apartment, even long after she hadleft his hallway. It felt strange now. Empty. Like this wasn’t hisplace, because his place was with them. Not— not necessarilyKagome, well, maybe not or— shit, he had no idea what was goingthere.

Still,his place was definitely by his son’s side.

Hehad never expected that the two of them would change him this much,when they had walked into his life, and now, after just a night athis place, he couldn’t stand the idea that they were gone.

Hegrinned, remembering Hoshiki’s laugh and what it had felt to holdhim.

Hewouldn’t have wanted it any other way.

Wow  I hadn’t realized I loved papaYasha that much, but writingthis isgetting to me. Expectan “origin story” for this at some point ;) Hope you liked it!

[thetwistedclocks]

so like,,,, couldn’t focus and did this instead

- time for a hunting trip or patrol or whatever everyone’s there and alive we got the whole gang: arthur, leon, percival, elyan, gwaine, lancelot, and merlin

-this is an au so gwen and lancelot just are together and there was no drama with arthur

- gorgeous day, kinda hot though so they decide to stop for lunch and fuel up

- le bandits sneak up on them, and attack

-everything is just like a typical fight, everybody but merlin is whirling around, doing their thing

-merlin is behind a tree, doing little stuff to make sure no one is wounded badly or killed

-our shining knights wipe everyone out, just a ton of bloody bodies scattered around the clearing except they missed one

-this little rat sneaks up behind merlin and he’s got a knife poised to kill merlin

- arthur yells desperately for merlin to move, he cannot lose him not after morgana, not after his father, no no no 

- merlin whips around to defend himself, but he has no weapons, everyone else is too far away to help, and without thinking he blows the man back twenty feet, where he hits a tree and dies 

- everyone is frozen in place

-merlin slowly turns around to see arthur because oh shit

- arthur says no in a strangled, desperate voice

- arthur’s face contorts and he then starts to scream: how could you, you lying bastard, i trusted you, you were my best friend

- gwaine preemptively moves towards merlin, fearing for merlins safety

- lancelot does the same

-merlin just quietly says im sorry and then whirlwinds out of there but lancelot and gwaine were close enough to get sucked in with him

-the trio lands in a forest pretty far away from camelot, and merlin just curls up into a ball

-gwaine and lancelot look at each other and merlin in shock and have a silently mouthed conversation above merlin’s head

- Gwaine: what the fuck Lancelot: shit ok did you know Gwaine: I kinda had some idea but I never dug too deep into it, did you know? lancelot: yes, he saved my life by killing the griffin with magic Gwaine: so what now Lancelot: I guess we’re fugitives with him now Gwaine: he’s not gonna move for a bit, we need to take care of him until he recovers Lancelot: agreed, lets find shelter for the night

- and they do they just build a fire and make sure merlin’s warm and has some water but he refuses food

-back with arthur the remaining knights suggest going after the trio but arthur shuts them down, hes not letting himself show any emotion

-they ride back to camelot, everyone finds out, gaius is just broken at this cause he cant see merlin or help him anymore, gwen decides to leave camelot without telling anyone to search for her best friend and love, she forgives merlin but wants an explanation, arthur turns in on himself and closes himself off, hes curt and cold, the other knights just dont talk about it though they each slowly forgive the trio over a long period of time

-after a week of no talking, merlin finally speaks to gwaine and lancelot and says: “lets go back home, I can face arthur, and you two can rejoin the knights

-they immediately refuse, saying that they trust and love merlin, and they chose to stay with him

-merlin brings up gwen in hopes to convince at least lancelot but he says its safer for her in camelot and he trusts he’ll see her again someday

-merlin just cant argue anymore, hes tired, and mourning everything he’s lost

-in the morning, they decide well we gotta live somewhere so they figure out where they are, which is western camelot on the very edge at the foot of a mountain range that marks camelot’s border

-they set up a little cabin just outside a nearby village and live their lives

-pretty soon, after occasionally being in the village for supplies, the villagers get suspicious and ask them questions

- they just so happen to catch merlin, who’s a terrible liar, and he blurts out hes a healer

-this village has 0 healers so they start to bring their sick to merlin, who heals them for free, which results in lots of gifts of food and other stuff

-gwaine and lancelot start teaching sword fighting to keep themselves sharp and help out the village

-things are chill like this for a few months

-gwen is still wandering around, learns a bit about magic, and is just traveling through western camelot, hoping to find the trio

-back in camelot, arthur is cracking down on magic

-he isn’t killing people, but anyone found guilty of magic or anything is locked away in these cells uther had made under the regular dungeon out of sorcerers’ bones that contains magic, its like a second purge, just without the executions

-gwen knows this and wants merlin to come back and stop arthur

-lancelot and gwaine slowly gets merlin’s entire story out of him, and see him as a leader now

-merlin is quieter, more reserved, and rarely uses magic at all

-one time this little girl, maybe 10, is brought to merlin wiht a weird set of symptoms

-merlin immediately knows shes developing magic, so he sends the parents away, promising he will heal her, and then he tells her

-she is scared of not being abole to control her new powers but isnt scared of having the magic itself, and tells merlin that her parents are ok with magic too

-the next day he meets with her family, and they discuss it, and eventually, they all decide that he can train her

-so like a few weeks go by of this, and then another person comes to merlin

-this time its an older woman and she wants to learn how to control her magic

-pretty soon merlin is training a lot of people and gets a reputaion

-gwaine and lancelot are worried about how little he sleeps, and how little he talks about the past, they cant help him though

-gwen hears about this village, where magic is celebrated, and finds it

-she arrives, and runs into gwaine, who takes her hand and runs shouting throught the village back to the cottage where lancelot is training 

-happy reunion yay

-she and merlin talk, she gets his full story, and he is just a little happier knowing that she’s there but he also finds out about whats going on in camelot

-in camelot, all of the knights just dont talk to arthur anymore, for fear of his verbal abuse

-hes crushed that gwen is gone too, and feels that he has been abandoned 

-more and more magic users flock to this village until rumors reach all the way back to camelot

-arthur orders a raid, he orders no killing

-he doesn’t lead it, but eventually, 20 knights or so attack the village

- a lot of magic users are taken, and a few people killed in fires set by the knights

-merlin feels responsible and decides that his merry band of misfits needs to be safer and a whole lot more defended

-so he and a majority of the village move into the mountains

-merlin is now the accidental leader of a rebel camp

-its called camp maxia(magic in galcian/gaelic) and its inhabitants maxians

-years go by, as the camp grows with refugee families and those from villages attacked by bandits because the knights are all out looking for magic users and not protecting anybody

-merlin, with his right hands gwaine, lancelot, and gwen run maxia as a safe place for everyone, and he creates a name for himself as lord maxia to protect his real identity

-arthur knows about maxia, obviously, but doesn’t have the forces to take it down

- during this time gwen and lancelot have this huge wedding, very magical, and very nature themed

- so arthur has most knights out around camelot, and morgana knows this, she joins forces with cenred and takes camelot with ease

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan get out together

-percival suggests going to lord maxia for help, as he’s got quite a sizable force and has been kind to camelot in not attacking them

-arthur immedietly shuts him down 

-they camp outside of the city for about a week, a couple civilians find them and tell arthur whats happening in camelot

-morgana is starving the people and killing those who act up

-arthur still loves his people, more than he hates magic

-so he agrees to go to lord maxia

-arthur, leon, percival, and elyan set out with the few civilians; the knights are each secretly hoping to see merlin at camp maxia, arthur is secretly terrified of that happening

-they’re picked up by a maxia patrol and held in a makeshift cell until lord maxia accepts them into the camp, cause they’re wearing camelot stuff 

-merlin is told of a group from camelot in the cells and knowing of camelot’s state immedietly send gwen and lancelot to meet them

- they expect a few knights and prepare to ask how they can help take back camelot

-when they see its elyan, arthur, leon, and percival they have the civilians released and cared for and sit down to talk to them

-arthur wont look at them, so leon speaks, and talks about whats been happening

-gwen offers maxia’s help, and lancelot says that planning would be a lot easier if they weren’t in a cell, and asks if they want to be processed into camp maxia

-the processing entails a quick truth potion along the lines of veritiserum 

-leon says he couldnt speak for the whole group, so lancelot says its a personal choice

-percival volunteers first, and then the other knights agree to it as well

-arthur is silent, but livid

-the knights are processed, and meet merlin, and for a night they all have a meal together and its almost normal 

-in the morning, merlin goes to see arthur, except he conceals his identity

-they talk, arthur is bitter, merlin is cryptic

-after a few days arthur realizes that in order to help his people he needs to set his anger aside and is processed

-merlin, identity still hidden, administers the test

-under this truth potion, arthur is honest about his views on magic in ways he didnt even realise

-merlin keeps his identity hidden for the planning, much to everyone’s dismay, but they respect his decision

-an attack on camelot is planned

-arthur at this point is slowly trusting knights again, and gwaine, lancelot, and gwen

-they ride for camelot, with camp maxia’s army

-the knights, including lancelot and gwaine, are with arthur and merlin, who’s identity is still hidden

-gwen leads the medical group behind them

-the battle begins, fought by merlin’s men against cenred’s army

-morgana threatens to kill the imprisoned sorcerers 

-arthur and merlin, still hidden, fight their way to the throne room

-its just them and morgana and the sorcerers

-arthur is thrown by morgana into the sorcerers

-then its down to merlin to stop her

-so they fight, a big badass magical fight scene 

-merlins cover is blown, hes hurt, looks like hes losing

-arthur is flipping out because its merlin and he forgot how much he missed him

-merlin is about to be stabbed by a magical bolt from morgana and arthur just screams merlin’s name

-merlin hears this and needs to live so he can talk to arthur so he defeats morgana

-battles over, people are freed

-merlin is chilling on top of the castle when arthur comes up

-they talk, for a long long time

-when they come down, merlin is forgiven, but not trusted, and magic is now not illegal

-merlin is made the court sorcerer, lancelot and gwaine knights, and gwen is a lady too cause she’s married to lancelot

-the foursome is now part of the round table and camp maxia is disbanded, no longer needed, and becomes a city at the foot of the mountains

-the knights can protect villages now

-all is right, except merlin and arthur still have this great distance

-gaius retires and just chills in merlins tower

-one time he’s out doing something important and arthur breaks his leg in training

-hes brought to merlin, who very very quietly asks if he can heal arthur using magic

-arthur agrees, and he sees merlin use good magic for the first time ever 

-this breaks down a barrier

-arthur visits merlin and talks about matters of state

-eventually just his day

-and then he trusts merlin again

-they become best friends once more

-then one night at a ball, merlin is being flirted with by a very attractive knight

-arthur gets really possesive and jealus

-he grabs merlin’s arm and tugs him away, saying something about court matters

-he dragsmerlin back to his room, huffy and angry, not letting go of his arm

-merlin asks what they need to talk about, and he doesn’t get an answer

-next he asks gently whats wrong

-at this point they’re at arthur’s chambers

-there’s no gaurds, they’re at the ball

-he tugs merlin into his room and just glares at him

-merlin is confused and asked what he did wrong, scared to lose arthur again

-arthur just groans and looks away and mumbles something about nothing

-merlin walks over, puts his hand on arthurs back, and says: “well its clearly not, tell me whats going on.”

-arthur just stays quiet

-merlin persists: “arthur please dont shut me out like this”

-arthur suddenly pins merlin to the door

-he just growls, “dont flirt with him”

-merlin is very confused and kinda scared because hes always loved arthur but arthur definitely doesn’t never ever in a million years feel the same way

-he quietly says why not

-arthur just. stares at him. “are you serious?”

-”yes?”

-and arthur just does the whole possesive door kiss thing

-merlin got a light bulb

-a few months later they’re married

-merlin is crowned king

-the end

just, random idea thats been bouncing around. should it be a fic?

[emptycanoflizards]

Island Song

Parkner Day 1!! I didn’t actually think that I would successfully be able to publish this tonight, but here we are!! Some sort of messy ending and everything!! Much thanks to @even-dead-im-the-hero for letting me panic and ramble to them about this, and @bellaxbeatrice and @parkneroses for giving me some much needed encouragement <3

day 1: “Road work ahead?” | Word count: 2k | Avaliable on Ao3 here 

“No, sweetheart, I promise. You’re gonna love it,” Harley declared again, smiling over at Peter as he drove. “I’m just saying, the last time that you promised me that, you filled my web-shooters with silly string,” the younger replied, rolling his eyes but eventually sinking into a smile. He couldn’t help himself, he really did love everything his boyfriend did for him. “This is different. Last time, we weren’t in Hawaii, so… yeah. Big difference.” Tony and Stephen had recently decided that the life that they and Peter lived back in New York was too stressful, which lead to Tony booking them all an impromptu vacation to Hawaii. Somehow, Peter had apparently made a good enough impression on Harley’s parentals that they had decided that it was completely necessary to bring him along for the ride, and the older boy could not agree more. Two weeks on a tropical island with his boyfriend? There was literally nothing better in this world. It was only their third day on the island, but Harley had done his research and had the absolute perfect day planned. He had forced Peter out of bed at the ungodly hour of 7:30 am and told him that he urgently needed to get his swim trunks and a sweatshirt on and meet him in the car in 10 minutes. The brunet groaned and moaned but ended up doing exactly as he was instructed, and landed curled up in the passenger seat of the Jeep with three minutes to spare. Harley grinned happily as he silently drove them onto the path to their first destination. “Where are we going?” Peter asked, only six or so minutes into their drive. Harley shrugged knowingly and turned up the music before reaching over and carefully lacing their fingers together. Thirty minutes later, the Harley got off the highway and drove into a small, rundown looking artsy area, which was unusually full of cars for how early in the day it was. Peter sat up and pulled his hood down to glance at the houses that they passed and gave his boyfriend a confused look. “Unless you decided to do some charity work today, I think I’m more confused than when we left the house.” “Just wait, baby,” He said softly, driving into the parking lot of what looked like an antique mall, with less organization and more tables. The blond threw the Jeep in park and smirked over to Peter. “Okay. Get ready to have your tastebuds amazed.” Peter snorted a laugh and rolled his eyes, but as soon as he opened the door, he was shut up. Harley was obviously right. “C’mon, sugar. We got reservations for 8:10.” The two laced their fingers together again as they walked up to a small greeting area, where a plump Hawaiian lady met them. Obviously, they were outrageously busy, so the woman was stressed, but took the time to throw a kind smile at them. “The wait will be 30 minutes to an hour,” she said without thinking, busying herself with menus and silverware for another group waiting to be sat. “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we’ve uh... We have reservations. Under Keener, for two..” Harley said, his lips peeking into a smile as he glanced over to Peter, whose face was glowing with a light pink blush. “Oh!” she said, sounding surprised. She searched through the book and smiled when her finger found their name. “Yes yes. Come on, right over here. Corner booth alright with you?” The boys nodded contently as they followed her to a tiny booth in the far corner, right next to the window to the highway. There were plants hanging in the window, and a small fan sat in the door next to them, and the most delicious smells filled the air. Peter took a deep breath as he sat down across from Harley, who had already begun to hungerly look over the menu. “Holy shit..” The older boy whispered, whistling at all the choices. “Literally everything in here looks so good. I want everything. Think we could get everything?” Peter laughed as he looked over the options. Well, he wasn’t wrong. “We should,” he said absentmindedly, his brain preoccupied with reading the description on the red velvet pancakes. “Wait- Harley, no. Do not get everything!”Twenty minutes later, the table was filled with food of all sorts. Stacks of pancakes were in the middle, Loco Moco filled most of Harley’s side, while Peter stuck with some Kalua pork and more pancakes, this time with guava flavoring and quite possibly the best sauce either of them have ever tasted. It took them nearly an hour to make a dent in the mountain of food, even with Peter’s speedy metabolism, but it was more than okay to both of them. By the time half of the red velvet pancakes were gone, they both were stuffed. Eventually, the hefty bill was brought to them, to which Harley proudly handed Tony’s credit card back. Within minutes, they were back in the Jeep, feeling much more energized and excited for the day.The next stop was somewhat a drive away. The GPS was set for the windward side of the island, which so far was filled with tiny fruit stands, surf shops that looked like they were one hurricane away from destruction, and the most friendly people either of them could meet, which was a very welcomed change of pace as opposed to the New Yorkers that they were used to. Harley had pulled off to the side of the road only twenty minutes into their trip after Peter jokingly suggested that they needed to try coconut milk at least once on their journey. “Harley- what? No! I was kidding!” Peter called out the window of the jeep, already breaking down into giggles as he watched the blond march across the street to vender, which was guarded by a very buff Hawaiian man. If it weren’t for the man’s sudden smile, Peter would have been worried for Harley’s safety. Seconds later, he returned across the street with an armful of fresh fruit, two strange-looking saran-wrapped sushi things, and two coconuts with straws hanging out of them. “I got us some stuff for the trip,” he said triumphantly. He walked to the backseat and dumped the fruit on top of the blankets that were packed in, then motioned for Peter to come out of the car and join him. When they were both sitting on the hood of the car, Harley handed Peter a coconut and leaned his head on his shoulder. The sun was creating patterns on their legs because of the trees above them, which Peter started tracing over, causing Harley to laugh and squirm away with a squeak of “No fair, you know I’m ticklish!” Peter laughed and pulled his hand away in mock surrender, before looking down at the coconut in his hand. “So.. are you gonna drink yours first? Or me first? Or at the same time?” He asked, bringing his eyes up to meet Harley’s bright blue ones. God, the greenery around them and the sunlight above them truly did him some good. He looked absolutely breathtaking. Noticing his sudden staring, Harley ducked down and kissed him softly. Peter hummed a satisfied noise before pulling away. “Are you avoiding this?” He asked, raising an eyebrow before pointing down to the coconuts. “I don’t avoid anything,” Harley responded stubbornly, smirking and taking a long swig from the bright green straw. The reactions were almost immediate- coconut milk was being spat feet away from the Jeep, followed by a yelp of disgust, which leads to Peter nearly falling off the hood with laughter. “Do I-” the boy was cut off by his continuous laughter. “Are you still gonna make me drink mine?” “You think I’m gonna suffer alone?! Sugar, you’ve gotta down the whole thing for laughing at me like that!” Peter scoffed and shoved his boyfriend playfully. “You screamed! Like, full out screamed! Like, dropped your croissants screamed!” He responded, earning a glare, which was obviously covering a loving smile. “You drink it! See if you can not scream.” And so he did. Peter brought the identical bright green straw up to his lips and took a sip. What shocked him was the bitter-sweet taste that washed over his tongue. He turned to Harley, his brows drawing together as he took another drink. This was actually really good! “Was… was yours bad or something? Maybe the coconut rotted?” he suggested, glancing down at the other drink, mainly to dodge Harley’s confused, almost offended look. “No way. You like that? No way.” He picked up the younger boy’s drink and took a short sip, nearly gagging as soon as the liquid touched his taste buds. “Petey, I think your mouth is broken,” he stated, shaking his head as he thrust both coconuts back towards his boyfriend. Peter happily took them back, already sipping from one of the straws as Harley shook his head in mock disgust.The remainder of their morning consisted of a road trip to a secret beach Harley had found out about by talking with the Coconut Vendor Man, in which he had almost gotten them miserably lost (though, neither of them would have actually minded). The older boy was preoccupied with impressing his boyfriend with his singing to hear the GPS instructions to go left on the tiny dirt road that leads them off the highway, so they continued on. Peter was giggling loudly when Harley noticed a sign on the side of the road. “Heh.. Road work ahead? Uh, yeah. I sure hope it does,” he murmured, already giggling at his own joke as they sped on. “Harley, that says road closed ahead.” “Shit.” The car squealed to a stop as they saw said closed road, which leads to Harley showing off a very poorly executed three-point turnaround in the middle of the deserted highway. From there, they paid more attention to the voice of the GPS, which landed them in the most perfect little hide-a-way. They set up the blanket in a sandy grove, which was covered in small trees, just small enough to climb on and jump into the crystal clear water. The fruit they had collected earlier in the day sat with their sweatshirts, tank tops, and sandals under the trees until much later in the day, when they would wander up, soaking wet and cracking up laughing, to take a short refuel break. They continued their swimming, climbing, and fruit-eating routine until late into the night when the sun began to sink into the waves. Harley had built a small fire using dried out driftwood, which was what he claimed to be the one and only skill he retained from boy scouts back in elementary school before Tony adopted him. No matter where he had learned it from, Peter was simply astonished by his boyfriend’s ability. After the fire was settled, Harley opened his arms and invited Peter to come over and cuddle up in front of the newfound heat. The brunette was there without hesitation. The sun continued to set as Harley softly hummed country songs in Peter’s ears, pressing a soft kiss onto the curls on the back of his head every couple of verses. Peter’s dark eyes drifted shut as night surrounded them, the moment too relaxing for them to remain open. ‘I really could get used to this,’ he thought to himself, the combination of the fire and the waves and Harley’s sweet accent enough to slowly lull him into sleep. Only minutes later, the older boy carefully lifted him back into the car, where he wrapped the blanket gently around him and turned on his favorite album, before starting the long drive home. The windows were down as Harley got back to the hotel, letting the salty night time air mingle with Peter’s soft snoring and the echo of guitars from the radio. He looked over to his boyfriend in the passenger seat as he pulled into the driveway of their Airbnb, just taking in his messy brown hair peeking out from his own sweatshirt, the way his lips were slightly open as he slept, how peaceful his expression was, and he thought that he really might be in heaven.

[bookcrook]

Absolutely Smitten

Dang. I really suck at keeping my word, don’t I? Whelp, for those who care, it’s here now! This is the first of I don’t know how many parts of “Six Foot Seven”, a new series/book thing I’ve been working on lately, requested by @i-cant-reach-im-too-short! The entirety of the series will be based on her real-life love story, as well as a playlist she gave me. First song was Absolutely Smitten by Dodie Clark. Hope you all enjoy! :)

“Teddy, come eat!” I call out from the kitchen, rattling his food around the large metal bowl. I wait a few minutes before yelling out his name again. “Teddy! Teddy Bear! C’mon! I have to leave soon and you need to eat.” Still no response.

And so begins my daily game of “Find the Giant Dog Hiding in my Tiny Apartment and Hope He Didn’t Run Off and Start the Zombie Apocalypse Without Me”. Such a great way to start my day…

I search behind couches and loveseats, inside closets and my bathroom only to find absolutely nothing. “Where, oh where has my Teddy gone, oh where, oh where could he be,” I sing softly under my breath, “In the closet he’s not, with me he’s… Also not, oh where, oh where could he be.” I continue with my non-rhyming song, raising my volume a little as I get closer and closer to my bedroom, the only other place he could be hiding. 

When I finally reach the doorway, I hear a playful bark come out from beneath my bed. I lower myself down to my knees, pull up the flashlight on my phone, and put my right cheek against the carpet. And, sure enough, I’m staring into the eyes of my slightly-obnoxious-but-still-very-lovable German Shepard. Who also just so happens to be stuck underneath the bed I just got. 

How he got there is beyond me and getting him out is going to be a serious victory on my end. As in, the kind of victory that deserves a pint and a half of double chocolate chip ice cream and a box of Cheez-Its after work. I try coaxing him out, seeing if he can squeeze himself just enough to remove himself from the tight spot. I bribe him with treats and squeaky toys, but he doesn’t move a muscle. So, I move on to what I knew was, ultimately, inevitable and would no doubt break all of my limbs off of my body.

Have you ever seen a 5’2 Asian girl trying to lift up a Queen size metal bed frame (with the mattress on top of it because she had just woken up half an hour ago and was still extremely tired, so she wasn’t smart enough to take it off) at least a foot off the ground completely and utterly by herself? I haven’t, but God damn it must be hilarious to look at. Actually doing it, though? Terrible. Absolutely horrid. The worst thing I’ve ever done in my 22 years of living. I mean, seriously. What is this thing made out of? Steel with a brick-filled mattress? Ridiculousness, I tell you!

Twenty minutes later, Teddy is roaming free around our brand new home while I’m lying on my bedroom floor exhausted and trying to find a will to live, which immediately comes with an alarm going off on my phone. Who would’ve thought I’d be so ecstatic to leave the comfort of my apartment for an entire day of work behind a desk only running on four hours of sleep. I force myself up and attempt to wipe as much dog hair off of my once clean clothes, abandoning hope soon after---there’s just no escaping it.

Collecting my things, I make my way toward the door, glancing quickly at the clock on my stove. Right on time, I think to myself. Waiting for the elevator was maddening. Come on... 

I mash the button impatiently, muttering curse words under my breath in frustration. I do the same when the doors finally slide open, revealing a small family of three with a tiny puppy on a leash. The slow background music only fueled my anxiety. 

Before the doors are even wide enough to accommodate an entire person, I slip through the tiny gap and race outside. I flatten my hair and my eyes immediately dart to the left, finding exactly what---or, more specifically, who---I was looking for walking toward me.

“Holy shit,” I murmur softly. How is it possible for one person to look so amazing just walking down the street? I soon realize I’m staring like a literal stalker, so before I’m caught, I turn and start walking swiftly in the same direction he’s going.

“Megan!” I hear a familiar, deep voice call from behind me, “Wait up!”

“Not a chance! I’d say you’ve got long enough legs to catch up to me,” I respond, an air of fake confidence in my voice. I slow down only slightly, despite my original statement, and, sure enough, Owen manages to reach me in a few long strides. 

“You’re difficult, you know that?” he laughs softly. I pray that no one saw my insides turn into literal jelly. What am I even supposed to do? My legs keep moving, but my mind is such a jumbled mush that it can’t comprehend anything around me. Which shouldn’t be happening. I’m a strong, independent woman---I don’t need him telling me if I’m pretty or not. I don’t.

So, as we walk, I begin concentrating on not concentrating on him. I quickly find that doing so is no use to me and caused me to not hear a single word Owen just spoke.

“You still there, shorty?” he teases, poking the top of my head.

“Hmm? Oh, yeah! Sorry. Just a little out of it, I guess.” Which was true, to be fair---I just decided it would be better to give him only half of the truth, for my heart’s sake. “What’d you say?”

Owen’s shoulder bumps into mine slightly, “I asked if you were eating in the office today. Thought I’d join you, but it looks as though you’re empty-handed.”

I stop in my tracks as he finishes speaking. “Idiot. Idiot, idiot, idiot,” I whisper to myself, hoping he doesn’t hear me. Because my luck is shit today, he does, and he seems to believe I was talking to him. 

“Excuse me?” Owen laughs nervously, surprised by my comment.

“No!” I exclaim a little too loudly, “Not you! I was talking to myself. Didn’t realize it until you mentioned it, but I forgot my food at home; it’s been a crazy morning, so I didn’t really think about grabbing to before I left.”

“What happened?”

“Oh, nothing important, really. Just stuff with my dog…” I wanted to add ‘and you’, but it seems a bit… Forward. Creepy. Stalker-ish. Take your pick. “Made some grilled chicken, noodles, and asparagus last night, too. Looks like it’s the vending machine for me today! Yay.”

“I mean, you don’t have to…” Owen looks away slightly as his sentence trails off.

I let out a bitter laugh. “Unless you’re suggesting that I turn back and risk being late just for a bag of mediocre food, I’m afraid I do.”

“Fair point, but no. ‘Tis not what I mean by that, miss,” he taunts, putting on one of the worst fake British accents I’ve ever heard. It’s something he does often. Why? No clue---not even an inkling of an idea, but it makes my heart melt every time.

“Then what do you have in mind?”

“We could always go out to lunch. There’s this cafe-diner-thing a block or two down from the office that serve the best grilled cheese known to man. If you haven’t tried don’t think I won’t drag you there myself,” Owen laughs. I can feel my eyes light up at the prospect of that. “It can be a group thing or something.”

My shoulders deflate just a tiny bit. I knew it wasn’t going to be a date---I’m not that stupid, but I hoped it could at least be just the two of us. It’s okay, I think to myself, taking in a deep breath, It doesn’t matter. We’re just friends. I force a smile before agreeing. “Oh, yeah. Totally! Sounds great. I can see if Laura and Chelsea want to come.”

We’d finally reached our destination when the conversation began and are now parting ways as it ends. “Awesome! See you then?”

“Definitely,” I say softly. Despite my disappointment, I’m able to produce a small---but very genuine---smile.

I’m practically floating as I make my way to my tiny desk and collapse onto my rolling chair. Slumped completely down (in a way that is terrible for my back), I let out a startled screech as a voice, seemingly coming from nowhere, scares me senseless.

“You’re late,” Chelsea teases in a sing-song tone from above me.

“...No I’m not.” I point at the large clock across the room.

“How…” she stumbles over words, “How do you know I didn’t come in early and change the time on all of the clocks because... Pranks?”

“Chels, you’re still wearing your coat.”

“It’s cold.”

“How about the fact that, one, your coffee is still steaming and you refuse to drink the tar that they have here. Two, you don’t wake up any earlier than you absolutely have to because you’re the definition of a night owl. Or, and I’d say this is my most convincing argument, three, you just don’t care enough to do that.” I sit up as I rest my case and begin pulling out my things for the day.

“You’re no fun,” Chelsea pouts, lowering herself behind the cork board wall that separates us.

Ignoring her very hurtful words, I continue the conversation as though nothing happened, “Has Laura come in yet?”

She scoots her chair over to your side as she answers, “I don’t think so. Or if she has I haven’t seen her. Why?”

I let out a groan and drop my head onto my desk, smashing the keys on my laptop. “Great. I needed her to help me make some copies because I have to meet with some clients later today and I have no clue how to work that… Thing.”

Chelsea opens her mouth, prepared to offer help, but I cut her off before she can, “Don’t. I love you, but she’s the only one who can tame the beast. I swear that if anyone looked at it the wrong way it would set the entire building on fire. Especially if it were either of us.”

“That’s fair,” she relinquishes. Suddenly, a tornado in human form tears through the office dropping a pile of things on Laura’s desk and races into a conference room, all in a matter of .04357 milliseconds.

“She’s here,” I chuckle slightly.

Twenty minutes later, Laura races back into the room and all but sprints to her desk. Thinking she might actually be done in there, I try to ask for her help. And, before I’m ever able to finish saying her name, she explains, “Can’t talk right now. Still doing the presentation; just forget some papers.”

Not long after that, Laura is finally free and snatches my papers from my desk, taking them to that dreaded machine and returning with 15 more than I need.

“Sorry about the extras,” she sighs as she drops them in my lap, “There was an error with the copier, but at least you have those if you need them.”

“Thank you!” I exclaim in a hushed voice, “You are a life saver, I swear!”

“Are you just now figuring that out?” Laura laughs.

I stick my tongue out at her before continuing my work.

I later feel a light tap on my shoulder. Turning around, I find Owen standing there, a large stack of papers in his hand. “Hey, what’s up?”

“I was just on my way to steal Anthony’s copier, but I thought I’d let you know that James, Benny, and the others can’t make it to lunch. Any luck with you?”

Before I can even consider speaking, Laura immediately turned the focus of the conversation to Anthony. “Wait. Wait just a second. Anthony’s been hiding a perfectly working copier from us?!”

“Guess so.” Owen gives a small shrug.

“What the hell!” she exclaims angrily.

To avoid the situation from escalating, I direct us back to our original topic. “I completely forgot to ask about lunch. Umm… Chels, Laura, either of you doing anything for lunch? I forgot my food this morning, so we thought it’d be a fun idea to get a little group together to go out.” My friends share a conspiratorial look when I’m finished. 

Chelsea’s the first to respond. “I really wish I could, but,” she pauses, “I have to run home and feed Pepper. Planned on just stopping by McDonald’s or something on my way back.”

“Neither can I,” Laura sighs with an ingenuine sadness in her voice, “Thomas wanted to take me out at that new sushi place across town. Sorry. Hope you guys have fun.”

A smile twitching on his lips, Owen turns back to me. “Just the two of us, then.”

“Yep,” I mumble quietly, my face growing warmer by the second.

“See you in a bit?” 

“Yep,” I repeat myself. His smile was now a grin as he left. Once he’s gone, I snap my eyes back to the two girls, glaring.

“What the fuck was that about?! First of all, you,” I point at Chelsea’s floating head, “Don’t a cat. Or a dog. Or any kind of pet! As for you, Laura. Don’t think I don’t know that Thomas won’t be home for another week. That’s all you’ve been talking about since he left!”

“It’s a week and three days,” she corrects me.

“Exactly my point!”

“Sorry, but we had to!” Chelsea cuts in, “You’ve had one of Cupid’s little arrows stuck in your ass since you started working here two years ago!”

“Not to mention the fact that this is probably the happiest we’ve seen you since your sister made you move out all because what’s-his-name told her to,” Laura adds.

I sigh, sinking into my chair for the second time today. “I know you guys are just trying to be nice. And, you’re right; I have been. He just makes me feel all kinds of weird inside. It’s like I can’t control anything when I’m around him, but that doesn’t mean I need your help with him.”

Laura scoffs and Chelsea rolls her eyes at my obvious lie. “Okay. Fine, I do. But don’t do it so obviously next time!”

My personal matchmakers lower themselves back down and I spin back to my computer. Just another hour to go…

                                                   🔹🔹🔹🔹

Lunch seemed to fly by quickly. As we waited on our food, conversations were had about simple, silly things like our favorite color, or how we drink our coffee. Others were about how work had been going and what movies we’d watched recently.

“Okay...” he pondered as he took a sip of his sweet tea, “What’s your favorite scary movie?” Shocked by the question, I couldn’t come up with an answer, so I gave him the most definite one that I could. Kind of. 

“Probably anything but the Chuckie movies,” I laughed.

The moment that sentence left my mouth, he immediately corrected me. “It’s Child’s Play, you know?”

“What?”

“The movies.”

“Whatever it’s called, it scarred me for life, and I want absolutely nothing to do with it.” I crossed my arms and shuddered at the thought of even possibly watching it again. I knew it was a terrible movie, but that didn’t change anything.

The stroll back was uneventful, but peaceful. And, now, as we wait out the last couple minutes before we had to return to our respective desks, Owen and I have found ourselves walking slowly back to mine, trying to make our time together stretch as long as possible. 

Suddenly, Owen grabs my arm gently, pulling me to a stop just a few feet short of my destination, and leans in. My breaths shorten and my body goes frigid as he does so.

His lips brush against my ear as he says softly, “Please don’t think I’m weird for doing this, but Laura and Chelsea have been eavesdropping since we were within listening distance. Anyway, I was wondering if you’d maybe like to go out to dinner tonight? Or this weekend? Or just, at any point in time that would conveniently work for you?”

I let out a chuckle---no, a giggle---at his awkwardness, but then I’m immediately hit by butterflies flooding my stomach as I take in his words. Once I finally come to my senses, my head is frantically bobbing up in down in complete and utter agreement. 

After we shared out little… Moment, I make my way to my desk. At this point, I’m not even trying to hide the giant grin on my face. Or my blushing cheeks. Or the fact that my heart is thudding in my chest with pure excitement and joy.

Chelsea and Laura don’t bother pretending that they didn’t see what just happened, and they were sure to let me know about that. 

“Did you see the way he was looking at you?” Laura gushes, “And that smile?! What’d he say?”

“What are you even talking about? It was nothing,” I roll my eyes at the rambunctious, gossip-hungry pair, but tell them anyway. “He just asked if I wanted to go out for dinner sometime.”

“Nothing?” Chelsea practically yells, “Are you kidding? There’s no way he doesn’t like you!”

I roll my eyes yet again, knowing not to get my hopes up, but I can’t help but wonder. I’d like to believe I’m not completely clueless; it’s obvious he just asked me on a date, but will it actually go anywhere? 

The days that followed were spent trying to coordinate Owen and I’s schedules on the way to work, and deciding where we could go. We also found ourselves around each other outside of work more than usual as we waited for the day to come.

One more week… That’s all I’ve gotta do; make it one more week and I’ll know for sure if this will work out.

[notafeeling]

hullo here's the Longass Brooklyn Nine Nine Sanders Sides AU One Person Asked For and I Desperately Wanted an Excuse to Do ahhhHHH ive talked about this so many times but im happy to do it again because i love both these fandoms GENERAL: - they work in new york at the ninety ninth precinct as detectives - the youngest is roman, followed by virgil, then patton and then logan - thomas is in this AU but not as a detective PATTON: - think charles "washing your partner's hair is the most romantic thing you can do with your fingers" mother-hen boyle - ...minus his tendencies to talk about his frankly disgusting sex life. - he loves everyone and would do anything to protect them. even if that means taking a bullet for them. he's ALWAYS on virgil's side no matter what, and would follow him to the ends of the earth - oh my god okay virgil and patton having a jake-rosa type friendship. they met in the academy and have been looking out for each other ever since. - the only time anyone's seen patton angry is when virgil got shot. the wound wasn't too bad - more of a graze really - but he had to be held back for charging after the shooter unarmed - patton seems innocent, but nothing slips past him. the arrestees try to make fun of him but he never cracks. - one time he just talked about his day with someone he arrested in the interrogation room until they finally give up and confess to "STOP HEARING ABOUT FUCKING RAINBOWS" - he's one of the best at getting confessions, but the worst at anything athletic. he has two left feet, but is scarily accurate with a gun. (the others don't know this, and patton refuses to tell them.) - he's single but wants a kid. logan doesn't know, but when he leaves his office patton sneaks in to talk to his son (explained later) - veryyyy pan and open about it relationships: - virgil, i've already discussed. they're the tightest best friends (and most protective) that you've ever seen. patton adores virgil and often, finds him crashing at his place at 3 in the morning. patton doesn't mind, since it means virgil has finally given in and quit working for the day. - with roman, patton isn't as intense with his worrying but he is ALWAYS concerned about him. patton hates seeing him get hurt - and even worse, getting shit for being gay. patton has gotten quite a few close-minded cops fired. often, patton's the only one roman will turn to when he's going through a rough patch. - patton respects logan. it took a while for them to warm up to each other but now it's not uncommon to see pat seated inside logan's office (who has tried and failed to get patton to call him Captain Sanders. pat may be respectful but "captain" isn't in his vocabulary unless it's applied to pirates") LOGAN: - the captain of the detective squad. he was the newest addition to the ro-pat-virge friendship and took the longest to get along with them. - he's very much a holt - a frickin genius, bad at expressing emotions but understands them and incredibly... extra. - he loves annoying roman because his detective often has no clue he's doing it on purpose. virgil has more of an idea, but he's still clueless in logan's opinion. - for someone so strict, he's incredibly relaxed when it comes to any of the three using his office for games such as "who can do the most accurate and offensive impression of one of the other suckers outside this room" - more often than not he's walked in to see roman moving robotically and using sophisticated words... incorrectly. that bugs logan more than the terrible robot impression. - he loves puzzles and analysing people. however, he's slightly ashamed of the fact that he has a psychology degree. - logan's divorced and has a fifteen year old kid named thomas. rarely - very rarely - the others catch a glimpse of the teen being brought into his office by a strange woman and logan trying his best to entertain the kid all day. his worst fear is thomas being hurt because of him - he's asexual and demi(homo)romantic, but he's not open about it. he's only told roman - and that was when ro convinced him to go to the annual precinct party and he got a little drunk. relationships: - he trusts patton the most, but is closest with roman. something about his infuriating detective makes him interested in hearing whatever dramatic adventure roman went on that day. plus, he's incredibly fun and easy to get riled up. through roman's influence he's allowed himself to get closer with everyone and relax a tiny smidge. - patton, he adores. the detective is so bubbly and so much more complex than logan originally credited. patton insists on heart-to-hearts which end up with logan revealing the truth about thomas and patton saying he already knew, and explaining that he always plays with him. logan admires patton's charisma, but loathes how easily he trusts everyone. one day, patton's gonna get hurt doing that. - with virgil, they're the Salty Bros. logan finds himself sharing virgil's dislike of small talk and worry over patton. they think he'll be taken advantage of. anyways, he walked in one of virgil's panic attacks and talked him through it. ever since, virgil goes to him if not patton and logan closes his blinds and shuts his office for the rest of the day. no one is allowed in unless it's life or death as he cares for virge as delicately as possible. virgil's the second to be (accidentally) introduced to his kid because of this. VIRGIL: - he's the hardest working out of the lot of them and, when trying to solve a particularly tough case, almost refuses to go home. by day three patton intervenes and drags him to his house and forces him to sleep. - he hates people getting hurt. he blames himself every single time - it's a habit that logan tries to get him out of. patton doesn't know (or so he thinks) and roman, well, roman's the same. - virgil's sort of like an amy/gina fusion (discussed with sam). he starts off not really caring about anyone apart from patton who he's known forever, but now he'd die for them. often, he tries to take bullets (both literally and figuratively) for them. roman hates this and once, the time virgil got hit, he took refused to look at him until he finally exploded and yelled at him for risking himself like that - logan and patton steered clear of that argument and let them work it out. it ended with ro and virge crying but reconciled. - virgil is uncomfortable around young kids because he's afraid he'll somehow hurt them or teach them a new swear, but with teenagers he knows to either let them rant or mutually ignore each other on their phones. (it doesn't apply to thomas though - which struck virgil as odd. maybe more on that later?) - he's... not straight. that's all he knows and everyone thinks he's just closed about it, but they know he's not straight too. relationships: - closest with patton and trusts him the most. they've kissed once in the rush of the moment and it frustrates him that patton never brings it up (but then again, that's such a relief because virgil can't deal with emotions). above all, they're best friends. have been for what feels like forever. virgil loves patton more than anything (take that any way you want because virge can't tell which way it is either) - he and roman are the dramatic pair. somehow there's always Something crazy to talk about whenever they see each other. roman is like a brother to virgil - they fight, sure, but at the end of the day, they would kill anyone who hurt the other. - he loves complaining about things with logan. he also loves teasing him over every little thing - but logan returns it with sniping comebacks. virgil loves these. he helps logan stop stressing and is often the one who invites him out to places, knowing what it feels like to be excluded. he rants about the State of the World™ and logan pitches in with his own bits of wisdom. to virgil, logan is a comforting presence. he seems invincible to virgil (until the day thomas insults logan out of Teen Angst™™™ and his captain shuts off completely, unmoving and unable to stop virgil panicking). ROMAN: - athletic, sassy and incredibly talented. he was the first to the precinct but is the youngest (but shhh, the others are unaware considering he refuses to have a birthday party). he's the tallest though, and loves teasing them for it. - he may be gay af but he flirts with anyone his age, and often virgil or logan has to drag roman away from the holding cell ("i was just asking for proof of identity!" "you asked for his number." "...his social security number!!!") - He Has A Boyfriend (no one knows who it is. it's an open polyamorous relationship and boyfriend singular is an understatement. they'll stop by but because it's not the same consistent boyfriend the others just haven't made the connection) - he's only been broken up with once. it was his first ever longterm boyfriend, and it was a few months after he became apart of the ninety-ninth precinct. virgil saw and that's how that started talking - with virge awkwardly comforting a stranger shoving chocolate into his mouth. - roman once had to go undercover but only logan knows this (since he knows everything about everyone, not because he sent ro on it). when he came back, patton was the newest member of the squad and virgil hung around him and only him. it was lonely as fuck, but roman had learnt during his time undercover that your real emotions could never be shown. he employs dramatic gestures and sugared words to destroy the memories of the things he's done. if the world loves him, maybe he'll love himself one day. relationships: - he and virgil have since reconnected. roman lied about why he was gone for so long and virge let the topic drop. he goes to virgil to help patch him up after a chase because he knows his friend wouldn't spill. roman's bitter about virgil's relationship with patton because he was replaced, but he won't say anything. he has to be a good friend. virgil needs more support than he does, in roman's opinion. - he gifts logan puzzles with thousands of pieces. they take forever to find but he loves seeing the stoic captain smile. roman's the only one to call him captain, but nowadays he doesn't do it as often. his method of relieving logan's stress involves gossiping and trying to throw dance parties in his office. logan is the only one he trusts to talk about Memories™ with, because somehow, his captain always knows the right thing to say. - him and patton are like two peas in a pod. they're always coming up with crazy ideas and they both care so much about everything and everyone. he doesn't blame patton for virgil being better friends with him than ro, but when he and pat go out and he gets reallyyyy drunk, he tells him how much it hurts sometimes (among other things that roman doesnt remember revealing about himself in the morning) THOMAS: - he was only 12 when his parents got divorced. he mostly lives with his mum. she complains about logan a lot, so over the years he's gotten a negative opinion of him. however, recently he's started seeing his father more because he LOVES the police station. - he especially loves patton, who brings him cookies. virgil strikes him as odd but once they found they shared their love of MCR, thomas actually slips out of logan's office to seek him out. - he's actually very sweet when it comes down to it. with patton, he refuses to swear and with virgil, he swears to tell v off for swearing. a week before christmas he gives patton a bear from build-a-bear and virgil purple earphones, but he does so by leaving them on logan's desk as he and logan leave for the day, because he knows patton lets himself in and would see it and give virgil his present. - he wants to be a doctor when he grows up. he really likes helping people but also, a small part of him wants to be able to take care of his dad should the need arise. - thomas also is Aware of everything relationship-wise in the precinct (aside for anything about roman, who he still hasn't met yet.)

[mellicose]

That Woman Over There - Chapter 3

A You Me and Him Fix-it Fic

Rating: Teen, for language

Word count: 2924

Warnings: none

Summary: ~ Set after the birth of Monty, Olivia’s baby ~ A dear friend of Olivia comes to visit for a week, and she disturbs the fragile peace between her, Alex, and John.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2

Chapter 3

They spent a nice morning in, since Olivia was still on her extended pregnancy leave. Connie reveled in their domestic rhythms, and it made her wistful. She missed it. The unhurried affection, the unspoken knowledge of each other’s habits.

After breakfast, they sat around chatting again, but before lunch, Connie was yawning and rubbing her eyes.

“You’re still jetlagged,” Olivia said, picking up Monty from the play seat on the floor “You should have a little nap before lunch.”

“I dunno,” she said. “Then I won’t be able to sleep tonight.”

“I’ll wake you in an hour. Monty’s looking like he needs a nap too,” she said, and kissed his sticky cheek. “It’s been a busy morning.”

She leaned over and poked Monty’s belly. “What up, friend,” she whispered. “We’re nap buddies.” He yawned, then gave her a grin. She looked up at Olivia. “Yeah, I think I could use a sueñito.”

Olivia smiled. “A little sleep, si?” she said.

“Precisamente,” Connie said. Olivia had loved their Spanish lessons back in the day. And she had been a very, very good student.

“Hasta luego,” she said, waving Monty’s hand at her. “Until later, Aunt Connie. Bye bye…” she said softly, then walked out.

She got comfortable on the giant sofa and pulled a woven blanket over herself. The sun warmed her feet, making the burns sting a bit. She tucked them in the blanket.

Aunt Connie, she thought, and closed her eyes. I like the sound of that.

Slow, pulsing pink. 

Her cheeks burned with sunlight. She turned to her side and it was dark again. Singing, soft, and in an unfamiliar cadence, kept her from sinking back into unconsciousness. It was sweet, and vaguely reminded her of late nights in her childhood, when her father sat by her bed after coming back from parts unknown, still smelling of good tobacco and bay rum. He sang to her to let her know he was there, hoping it would sift through to her dreams and comfort her.

She missed her papa. But he had gone to a place she would not follow.

She sniffled, and her closed eyes filled with tears. One of them finally dripped to the batik pillow.

“Ye okay?” John said, voice gentle with concern. She opened an eye. He was sitting on the floor, in front of the coffee table. Her ball of necklaces was now neatly organized on the table by metal type and length. He smiled at her, thrusting his bearded chin at his handiwork. “Brilliant, right?”

“Don’t touch my things,” she said. She leaned forward to grab her necklaces, and clumsily slid off the sofa.

He took her hand before she got a messy fistful and tangled them again. “I’m sorry about this morning. I was trying to be funny, and failed miserably. You’re beautiful. Really,” he said, his brows knitting with sincerity. She yanked her hand away and crawled back onto the sofa.

“I don’t need your approval. Just leave my stuff alone,” she said, turning her back to him. He tried not to stare at her bum, but her jean shorts left little to the imagination. It was a very nice bum. She groaned and threw the blanket over herself, although her legs were still exposed. He wrapped a string of coral beads around his wrist and sat at the end of the sofa. His fingers ghosted over the fading red of the burns.

“You should put more aloe on those,” he said. She kicked at him, but lightly. “Where’d you put the other aloe leaf I gave you?” He went to the kitchen. It was shriveling on the sill of the window facing his back yard.

Interesting.

He peeled it and sat back down beside her. She was still and her breathing was deep, miming sleep.

He smiled. “You know you snore like a ploughman, right?” he said.

She grunted and flipped him off. “Go home, Juan.”

“One what?” he said. She turned to scowl at him, and he held up the slimy leaf. “Do you mind if I…” he pointed at her legs.

She sat up and tried to take the leaf from him, but it slid out of her fingers to the carpet. Her wavy hair stuck up in the back, and it was thoroughly charming. He stared at her a beat too long, and she stuck her tongue out at him.

“You go to bed with women, but I doubt you see them wake up much,” she said. It was petty, but she was irritated. And embarrassed. Did she snore that loud?

“I was married for 13 years. I saw bedhead enough,” he said. “And dealt with morning mouth. And popping back pimples. And the gun-loud sleep farts? Fuck, I’d wake up thinking she finally shot me,” he said.

She snorted and put her hand over her mouth, but refused to laugh outwardly. She knew all about those. Ella had startled her many times with her vegan wind.

He  winked. ”Made you laugh.”

“No you didn’t,” she said. “It was a yawn.”

“Sure,” he said, and picked up the aloe. It was covered with dust bunnies. “Ugh. I’ll get you more.”

“Don’t worry about it-” she said, and out of habit, put her hand over his. He gave her a look that made her walk in front of the window to scrutinize him. He was a misogynist ass. Completely. A mouth-breathing nerd trying too hard to be a dudebro. But still, her stomach did a flip. “Gimme my necklace back. My mom gave it to me.”

He pulled it carefully from around his wrist, where the coral looked like prayer beads. She was loathe to admit they looked good on him.

“It’s coral, right?” he said, holding it up to the light with long, delicate fingers. “Medusa’s blood.”

She leaned against the windowsill. “What?”

“In greek mythology, when Perseus finally succeeded in cutting off Medusa’s head, the blood dripped to the sea and formed red coral.”

She loved mythology, and for a second, she forgot herself and sat by him. “I don’t remember that,” she said. He took her hand and dropped the beads in the cup of her palm, where they clicked and pooled like blood. “My dad used to read mythology to me when I was little. In Spanish, though.”

“I didn’t get to school much when I was wee, so I read a lot. I loved reading about Hercules and Perseus and Odysseus. Big, brawny, brave men.”

“Why not?” she asked.

He patted his back. “The brace made it … difficult for me to do certain things on my own when I was a little, so my mum home schooled me. Later, in high school, I was able to go often enough to graduate. Lucky me,” he said, but a shadow crossed his eyes. She noticed immediately because, ordinarily, they gleamed with good humor.

“Oh,” she said, nodding. “Was it that bad?”

He pooched his lips and rolled his eyes. “A boy need a proper backbone to deal with all the shite the world throws at ‘im,” he said. He used a heavier brogue that wasn’t his own. “You oughtta quit whinging and straighten up, lad. I’m starting to you’re using that contraption as an excuse to linger ‘round yer ma’s skirts.”

He smiled, but it was bitter.

“Fuck,” she said softly. She thought back on last night. After coming back into the house, she was rinsing out her coffee cup and saw movement in his yard. He did a series of stretches, reaching up to the moon, exhaling until his ribcage was visible through his stained t-shirt, then twisting slowly from side to side, hands on his waist.

She hadn’t meant to stare, but she did. There was graceful deliberation to his actions that made her feel herself in a way she had not in months. She rarely saw men who moved like that except dancers, and they were mostly gay. In any case, she knew he wasn’t trying to impress anyone with the movements - he didn’t know he was being watched.

“I wish I was homeschooled,” she said, finally.

“Oi?” he said, distracted.

“Home schooled. I went to a fancy school, but so much for good breeding - the teachers were as vicious as the students,” she said, putting the coral beads around her neck.

“Oh yeah?”

“It was running gag. Whenever I said something, they would pretend they couldn’t understand. They would make a face and say ‘No understando’ or ‘someone get the maid to translate’. Or my dubious favorite, ‘Shakespeare might be too hard for you. You should just stick with Cantinflas,’”she said, and sniffed.”That shit got old the first day, but it went on for years. The fact that my father is a diplomat made it worse.”

“Who is Cantinflas?” he said.

“A really popular Mexican comedian who did a bunch of movies in the 40’s and 50’s. His thing was playing poor country bumpkins, but he turned the trope on its head. He did broke but clever. He was a cultural icon, really.”

“So, not as much an insult as they thought,” he said. “Some kids are assholes. I didn’t grow up anywhere near rich, so… it was all ketosis-breathed gobshites.”

She giggled. “Gobshites,” she said.

“Cockwombles. Numpties,” he said. She started to laugh.

“That’s hilarious,” she said. “Hijos de la gran puta. Pendejos de la vela, toditos se pueden ir al carajo.*”`

“Those sound dirty,” he said. “I recognized puta.”

“You would, bitch,” she said. He gave her a mock hurt look. She winked.

“You’re getting along famously,” Olivia said loudly. “How wonderful.”

Connie jumped up and stuffed her hands in her pockets. “Pfft. He was stalking me while I slept.”

“I was untangling your horrible ball of necklaces,” he said, pointing to the coffee table.

“Did you hear her snoring? She’s like a bear,” Olivia said, giggling.

Connie’s mouth dropped open. “Olivia!”

“My vote’s for ploughman,” John said, scrunching up his nose.

Olivia sat down on the sofa. “When we had sleepovers, I got in the habit of listening to my Discman so I could get some rest,” she said.

“You said you couldn’t sleep without music,” Connie said. “Dirty liar.”

“It wasn’t all a lie. Without music, I couldn’t sleep … with you.”

“You guys suck,” she said, and stomped into the kitchen.

“I love you too,” Olivia yelled after her.

Olivia pointed at the organized jewelry. “Did you really do all that?”

“Yeah. Seeing it was setting my teeth on edge,” he said. He picked up the pearls. “Did you really give her these?”

“Yes. Those are the pearls I was wearing the day we met,” she said.

“How sentimental,” John said in a sibilant falsetto.

“Totally gay,” Olivia said. “Where’s Alex? I fell asleep with Monty and she disappeared.”

“She went to the shops to buy ingredients for dinner. Her famous spag bol.”

“Ooh, yummy,” Olivia said, clapping her hands.

John shrugged. “Don’t know why you can’t just get it out of a can.”

“She makes it with homemade tomato sauce and italian sausage. You can’t get that out of a can.”

He shrugged and worked the pearls like prayer beads. Their smooth coolness was exquisite. He wondered why men didn’t wear them.

“Oh, about tonight. I’ve been meaning to tell you some news.”

“Really. You’re not moving, are you?”

“You wish. Nah. But it’s big. I think you’ll be proud.”

“You’re going to rid of your deep v t-shirt collection?” Olivia said, in fine form. She wished Alex was there to hear it.

“Never,” he said. He resisted the urge to tap a pearl against his teeth.“Her snoring. It’s not that bad, is it?” he said softly.

“Nah. You get used to it.”

“Did you?” he asked. 

She wasn’t expecting the question. “I suppose,” she said. “I didn’t care at the time. And we didn’t do much sleeping anyway.”

John hooted.

“Get your head out of the gutter.”

“But that’s where it lives,” he said.

“We would listen to music, read to each other, and talk for hours and hours. I would help her with her pronunciation, and she would help me with my French and Spanish.”

“She knows French too?” he said.

Olivia smiled. “Her mum’s french. You know, like, Paris French.”

“Insufferable,” John said, but he tilted his head to try and get a glimpse of her in the kitchen.

“She’s got a good heart. She’s one of the warmest people I’ve ever known.”

“And yet I’m freezing my lads off,” he said, making a face.

“Well, she’s angry at you.”

“Why? I heard what you said last night, about her not blaming me individually. What did you mean by that? I didn’t know her from Eve two days ago.”

“Eavesdropper,” she said. Olivia gave the dramatic sigh she always did before a story. He leaned back and crossed his legs.

“A little more than a year ago, her father filed for divorce from her mother after almost 37 years of marriage. She took it really, really hard.”

“But what does that have to do with me?” he said.

“It came as a huge surprise to everyone, including her mum. She thought everything was business as usual. But during the course of the proceedings, certain facts started to come to light that proved that it had been a long time coming, for him.”

John looked lost. Olivia leaned forward and grabbed his wrist.

“He said he was done with the increasingly misandrist tilt of the world he lived in, and declared that he is now part of MGTOW.”

John’s heart began to sink again, as he knew exactly what it stood for. At one point not too long ago, he felt the same way.

“Men going their own way,” he said softly. “Fuck.”

Olivia nodded.

“He exposed aspects of his relationship with his wife with which he was very displeased, and said he was tired to lugging her dead weight, citing her re-occurring depression and substance abuse problem as intolerable. In short, he was convinced he could do better. Furthermore, he brought proof of instances of verbal and emotional abuse due to the substance use before the court, and he nearly got everything. Her mum went from an Upper West Side brownstone to a one-bedroom flat in Flatbush, since she refuses to move in with Connie. She’s deeply humiliated.”

He was afraid to ask the question. As far as he knew, politicians and diplomats didn’t frequent his humble site - it was mostly insecure college guys and bitter divorced men.

“But why me, Olivia?”

“He mentioned your site as the catalyst that helped to make up his mind. ‘Thousands of men speaking the truth to power about women in a safe space, free from judgment.’ He said he felt solidarity. He said you were a saint and a hero for refusing to be a white knight to screeching misandrists.” Olivia rolled her eyes.

“Fuck,” John said again, more vehemently. “So he mentioned Mannism? And my name?”

She nodded. “I got a screaming phone call, since I had already told her about you and Alex. She was hysterical. It took me hours to talk her out of flying over her to castrate you.” Olivia hugged herself. “What she failed to realize is that it put me between a rock and a hard place. You were the father of-” she nodded quickly, “-the damage was done. But honestly, I hated you. Not only for her, but for everything else. For a while.”

“And you kept that to yourself for all this time?” he said, genuinely surprised.

“What could I do? I fucked up, then Alex fucked up and you fucked up...” she pointed at him. “Everything was fucked. And I didn’t have much sympathy left for her at the time.”

Olivia didn’t usually swear like that.

“We didn’t talk until right after the baby was born, and still, it hurt that she wasn’t going to make it to the birth. We promised each other as girls that we would be present at the birth of our first born. But-” she hiccuped, “she said if I insisted you be there, even after what happened with Alex-” she sniffled, and fat tears dripped down her cheeks.

“Damn it, why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because at the time, you were important to Alex, and since Alex was the most important thing in the world to me…”

John stood up slowly. He shook his head. “I didn’t know.”

“Now you do,” Connie said from the doorway, wiping her eyes.

Olivia wept on the sofa, her hands palm up on her knees. Connie ran to her, already crying.

“I’m so sorry,” she said, falling to her knees in front of Olivia and hugging her waist. “I was a selfish, stubborn, unfair, foolish bitch,” she said, and buried her head in Olivia’s chest. Olivia hugged her back, whooping with emotion.

“I missed you,” she said, hiccuping. “I missed you being there…”

Connie’s body trembled. “I didn’t see Monty ... being born …” she clung even harder to Olivia. “Your little baby…”

They wept passionately in each other’s arms. At any other time, their wailing might almost border on comical, but not now.

He knew it was because of him. It was all because of him.

He walked out the back door quietly and let them make it up alone.

Read Chapter 4

*Sons of bitches. Bunch of dumbasses. They can all go to fucking hell.