#im good though its just very cold outside im going to freeze to death

[mellohiizz]

(✿ ◠ᴗ◠) (✿ ◠ᴗ◠) (✿ ◠ᴗ◠) im skipping and frolicking in flower fields because my life is filled with joy and whimsy. someone talked to me about manebu earlier and im thriving

wbu :3

that's great, i'm very happy for you, eme! ^_^ i'm okay, filled with whimsy, as always! talking about weird critters that i like.

[iaminlovewithtrr]

Christmas with a stranger

This is my submission for 'gift of cheer' by @cordonianroyalty and @texaskitten30. This is the fluff one shot requested by @anjanettaexcordonia.

Characters belong to pixelberry

Pairings:LiamxRiley

A/N: this is the first fic I have ever written, so i apologize for any mistakes. Criticism is openly accepted, negative or otherwise. Feel free to say anything!

Tags: @texaskitten30 @cordonianroyalty

@kat-tia801 @eadanga @xxrainbow-princessxx @knightthunderis @kingliam2019 @anjanettexcordonia @stuti-singh @queenrileyrose @bbrandy2002 @twinkleallnight @bebepac @ladyrileyrussel @hopelessromanticsposts @dcbbw

Summary: Two strangers spend Christmas day with which each other, which changes the rest of their lives.....

Song inspiration: All I want for Christmas is you

Word count:2683

I don't want a lot for Christmas

There is just one thing I need

Don't care about the presents

Underneath the Christmas tree

I don't need to hang my stocking

There upon the fireplace

Santa Claus won't make me happy

With a toy on Christmas Day

I just want you for my own

It was the morning of Christmas, and Riley was overly excited. She always waited for this time of the year, especially Christmas. Nothing is more enjoyable than sipping cider in the presence of her beloved and enjoying the Christmas meal, she always thoughts. Orphaned at 4 ,she didn't had a blood family to celebrate with , but was blessed with a great deal of foster family and friends. Every year, during Christmas, as a sort of tribute, she spends the entire day celebrating with the children of her previous foster care. Watching those kids playing merrily reminded her of her own good days in the past.

She quickly ate her breakfast and made her way out of her NY apartment, whistling and softly humming to the tune of All I want for Christmas is you, her favorite song.

More than you could ever know

Make my wish come true

All I want for Christmas is you

Baby....

She was so engrossed in her little singing gig that she barely registered the stranger coming towards her, and crashed right into his broad chest, spilling her reticule's content on the sidewalk.

"Oof"she yelped, rubbing her forhead.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! Let me help with those! " the stranger apologized.

Riley and the stranger kneeled down at the same moment to collect her scattered belonging, and for the first time the two glanced into each others eyes. Ocean blue eyes locking onto dark ones. Damn... Those eyes.. Riley swallowed.

"Ahem" she softy cleared her thought, quickly collected her belongings, and stood up.

"Sorry for that. Should've watched my steps. " then she quickly disappeared into the crowd, not noticing the stranger eyes on her from behind.

Riley finally arrived at the foster care. Loving hearts. A bit strange name, but filling her chest with warmth nonetheless. She rummaged through her reticule for her Digital key card, but it was not there.

"Uh...?"she muttered. "Where the hell is my keycard? "

After a few moment of searching she gave up. "Im not going to get in there without my key card...."

"Excuse me Miss.... But I belive this is yours. " a voice behind her startled her.

Riley turned around and found herself staring at the pair of those same dark eyes she encountered earlier. I'd recognise those eyes anywhere, even though I had stared at his eyes for less than 5 seconds. The (cute) guy i bumped with!

"Ahem" the stranger let out a exaggerated cough and riley realised that she has been staring at his face for a solid 10 seconds.

"Right.. Ahem... Sorry... I mean... Thank you for returning this. You totally saved my ass--, i mean my...my...job". Way to make a fool of yourself Riley.

The stranger laughed quitly. "Well then I am glad I could save your job. But I should get going."

Just as he turned, a little voice in the back of her head called out to her, and instinctively she reached out and grabbed his sleeve.

"Er... Sir... I know this is extremly forward of me... But if you would be kind enough to spend the day with volunteering at the orphanage I work at? We are kinda short-staffed tonight, and there aren't much volunteers. Those children at the orphanage will be quite happy to see a new face. You could spend the with them. And me. If you are free, that is?

Crap. Crap. Crap. This i really asked a random hot stranger to volunteer?! Snap the hell out of it Riley!

Plz say yes. Plz say yes. The little voice inside her screamed.

To her surprise, he gave her a smile. "Id be happy to. I don't have any special plans for today. Btw. "

He smiled, and stuck out her hand to shake hers.

"Liam Rys"

"Riley Brooks". She said she she shook his hand. A familiar electric tinge sparked through her veins as she held his hand. His hand impossibly smooth underneath her. Woah! Are guys even supposed to have this soft hands? I wonder what kind of moisturiser he uses....

"Miss Brooks --"

"Call me Riley. "

"Well ahem, Riley.. it is rather cold outside. What say we make it inside? "

"Oh right."

She quickly swiped her keycard and stepped inside, sighing contentedly as the warm air from the heaters enveloped her. She melted a little inside as she felt Liam's warm body alongside her. Brushing this aside, she focused her attention on the scenario in front of her. Numerous gift boxes piled beneath the Christmas tree... Children merrily running and there... Volunteers mingling with each other and the children... The aroma of the food... And the Christmas songs softly playing in the background. A wide smile played on her lips.

While Riley was busy observing the surroundings, Liam found his sight stuck on the beautiful women he had known for not more than 15 minutes. She was beautiful, in a way that the noble ladies back at home in Cordonia arn't. And seeing her here in here element, smiling widely without giving a damn about public decorum or whatsoever, he found himself attracted to her. And without a second thought, he agreed to volunteer. We'll see how the day goes...

Liam cleared his throat, claiming her attention. "So what needs to be done? "

"As you can see this is a orphanage, so the children here dont have any families to celebrate the holidays with. So each year, myself and many other gather here to celebrate the celebrate with them. Thats what we have to do. Mingle with the children, play with them... And make them feel loved. "

"Sure. I can definately do that. I actually volunteered too at orphanages back home."

"If I may ask, Where are you from?

Liam immediately stiffened at the question. When he asked his father for a quiet getaway before the beginning of the social season, meeting Riley was not on the itinerary. And the fact that he was leaving Tommorow didnt helped either. The last thing he wanted to do was to lie with her, but he wasn't going to destroy these good moments he had with her by revealing that he was the crown prince of cordonia.

"I'm actually from one of the small islands surrounding Greece. "

Before she could open her mouth to ask more, Liam immediately turned away to play with one of the children.

The day went on quite peacefully and quite enjoyable for Liam. Holidays back home were anything besides spending with families. It was all about press conferences and photo ops and disguised motives hidden away in gifts. But here I was a lot more different, the sight of children playfully jostling each other without giving a damn made him smile, as that was the part of childhood he missed.

He suddenly felt a small hand on his shoulder and his pulse quickened at the feel of skin over his clothes. Behind her was Riley, holding a eggnog mug in her hands.

"Not to ruin your volunteering gig, but I got you something. "She said as she handed him the mug. Their fingers brushed, and lingered for just a moment longer.

"Ahem. Thank you. " Liam blushed, his ears turning pink.

Riley chucked softly at his antics. He is already so cute, and looks extra cute while he blushes.

Night came quickly. After winding up all the activities for the day including the gift exchanging and christmas dinner, all the children were put to bed and the volunteers were bidding their goodbyes. Only the foster care staff plus liam was left behind.

Riley glanced around. All the staff were mingling on the rooftop, with only her and Liam left in the main hall.

"Hey.... " she softly asked Liam, who was lounging in a chair beside her.

"Yeah? "

"Will you accompany me for a little walk around the times square? I just wanna clear my head a bit. " And hopefully spend some time with you...

He smiled. "Sure! Just let me get my coats. "

The pair walker out of the building and into the cold, brisk night. Celebrations were in full swing outside. Its called the city who never sleeps for Nothing.

Outside was really cold, and with the softly falling snow Riley barely suppressed the shiver that ran up het spine. Suddenly she felt strong arms around her shoulders and a moment later a coat was wrapped around them.

"I would be a terrible gentleman if a let a beautiful lady like you freeze to death. "

"Beautiful, huh? " she teased.

He blushed. That blush.

They both arrived at the square, staring at the enormous Christmas tree situated in the very middle. The glow of the lights and mini bulbs bathing them both in a gentle bluish light.

"Its really beautiful, isnt it? Riley asked. Just as she turned her head towards him liam's eyes quickly found their ways towards the decoration. Was he really admiring me than the beautiful decoration in front of him? Was it possible that he was feeling the same fluttering in his heart that she felt whenever they interacted? No, it can't be. I am reading onto this too much. We are strangers. Strangers.

"Indeed it is. " Liam quitly whispered, hiding the blush in his cheeks. Crap, she caught him staring at her. I hope she doesnt think i am creep or something. To Liam even the most beautiful decorations paled in front of her, she was more beautiful than any sights he had laid his eyes on. Don't get too attached, Liam. Its temporary. You are going to leave tomorrow. There can nothing be between you and her. You have a duty back home. This is just a little escape from reality. They are strangers. Strangers.

Just then the local band striked up a a waltz. All around them peoples paired up, with Riley watching the couples with a hopeful gleam in her eyes... which didnt went unnoticed by Liam. And in that moment, he knew what he had to do.

Liam bowed a little in front of her, and held out his hand, his other arm draped around his back. "May I have this dance? "

She smiled as she put her hand into his, her pulse quickning, "It would be my pleasure. "

She awkwardly bowed, earning a chuckle from Liam as he sweeped her in his arms, her one hand on his shoulder, his on her waist, their free hand twined together. They elegantly twirled together on the makeswift dance floor, stepping in time to each rhythm. As they glided together, liam couldnt help but gaze down at her angelic face, illuminated by the surroundings. His gaze strayed to her lips just as Riley glanced at him, they met each other halfway as their lips come together in a magnetic kiss. Time seemed to stopped when his lips met hers, and the flutter in their chest intensified. Riley's finger gently curled in his coat as liam tangled his hands in her soft brown curls. She smelled like jasmine, a scent that liam is all too familiar with. Their hands tighten around each other, almost desperately, refusing to let go, their lips moving against each other in perfect harmony. Liam tightened his arm around her waist, pulling her into his chest, and Riley softly sighed as she breathed in the scent of him.

For that moment it was only the two of them in the entire world, all the surroundings fading into nothing. Their little bubble of heaven was broken as the pair heard the the sound of clapping and soft cheering. Flustered, Liam grasped her hand and led both of them out of the dance floor and into the streets, grinning all the way.

The two of them found themselves at the threshold of a quint restaurant, and they both collapsed onto the stairs, still holding each other while wearing goofy smiles.

"So... That was.... Something else.. " Riley chuckled.

"Indeed it was. " Liam snickered.

As he glanced down at the lady in his arms, Liam felt a sudden tinge of guilt in his chest. I still haven't told her who I am. I have to tell her.

After her laughter had subsided, Liam gently took her shoulders in his hands and looked square in her eyes. "Riley, can I have a word with you? "

"Yeah... What happened? "

"I haven't told you where I am from, or what I am doing alone in a unknown city without my family. The truth is I am the Crown Prince of a small country called Cordonia. "

Riley stared at him, then burst into laughter. "Haha, Liam, nice joke. If you are a crown prince then i'm Kate Middleton." She stopped laughing when she saw the look on his face. "Oh, you are serious?"

Liam nodded. "Of course. I have no reason to lie to you. I just wanted to let you know that....that...." He struggled to move forward. "That i'll be leaving for Cordonia Tommorow morning. My social season will commence once I get back. I have to choose a bride from all the noble ladies presented to me as suitors. "

Her face fell. "You... You are really going back... I just thought we.... " She trailed off.

"I knew Riley, and I am sorry that I didn't told you sooner. I understand if you are mad--"

"Of course im not mad Liam. You did what you thought was the best. You just wanted a nice time without wandering about your duties."

"I... I wished we had more time together Riley." He whispered.

"Then lets make the most of it. We just have this night tonight, Liam. And I want to make it count. For just this one night let's just be Riley and Liam, two peoples without any obligations.

Riley pointed to the mistletoe over their head, then leaned forward to capture his lips in a heated kiss. He immediately responded, his hand cupping the side of her neck tenderly as she ran her hair through his dark hair. They pulled apart, staring into each others eyes, then their lips came together again, more passionately this time.

"Merry Christmas, Riley."

"Merry Christmas, Liam."

The night was spend together in Liam's suite, tangled in the sheets and in each other's arms.

************

The next morning

Liam woke up in his room.... Alone. He glanced around, none of Riley's belongings were in sight. A single note was on the coffee table beside the bed.

Liam,

I want you to know that the short time I have spend with you more to me than I could describe. You gave me the one thing I wanted most for Christmas...Family. I'm grateful for that. I'm sorry that I had to convey this to you by a letter, but i thought it would be better for both of us. Perhaps we will meet again.

Riley

Liam reached and wiped the lone tear that has escaped on his cheek. "I'm grateful for our time together too, Riley.

**********

Cordonia

It was the evening of the masquerade ball in the palace. Liam was dressed in his usual black regalia with a matching ornate mask. No matter how hard he tried, his thoughts managed to make their way back to Riley. Be a good prince, Liam. She's gone.

Liam stood in the huge elegant ballroom, a queue of noble ladies in front of him. Each lady he encountered, whether it was the poodle loving lady Penelope, the diplomat's daughter Kiara, or his best friend Olivia, made him realize that none of them were her.

The next lady approached, who was adorned in a white angel costume, with a literal halo above her head, her blue eyes peeking out of the glittering mask. Why are those eyes familiar...

"Hello..." Liam greeted her politely. "I don't believe we have met... Have we?"

The women smiled, then reached behind the back of her head to loosen the mask strings, Liam caught a glimpse of a familiar face as she removed her mask.

"Riley..."

[violetjedisylveon]

For Freyu O'asisk

💖🍊📙⭐💛🍏🍐🌀🔮🌷

Hope this isn't too many, lol😅

💖Platonic. Yes with her family, she was very affectionate with them. She has a platonic sisterish relationship going on with Omega, she does show her affection for her when she can.Platonically she is open about her feelings. Romantic? The relation between her and Alask was romantic at one point but became much more casual. She's not too open about her emotions and keeps things like romance more to herself unless she's feeling like sharing(or drunk tbh). Freyu got a little more hesitant with relations so she and Alask went to being friends after but they've always been good friends.

🍊 Food. Her favorite food is sweets, she has a big sweet tooth and really likes deserts. She also likes food that's spicy or food with strong flavors. She's a Mandalorian and their cooking involves strong flavors and she associates those with good things. She strongly dislikes food that is bland, she'll eat bland if she has too but she will not like it, she refuses bitter stuff and hates it with a burning passion.

📙She likes stuff that allows her to get away and not adress her problems. She likes to read about animals in fiction and non-fiction. She likes reading books or seeing stuff from both sides of conflicts. She also likes to watch animals and fun stuff. She does not like politics, the politics where she's from are super efficient and effective and the rest of the Galaxy's politics are garbage compared to it.

⭐ Herself. She's done some things that won't be elaborated on yet, more specifically her lack of control over herself. Also loss of someone close to her, she's had some very bad experiences with losing people she really cares about so she's a little hesitant about relationships. Her reaction depends on the level of fear she gets, usually she forces it down and ignores it, when it's really bad(usually during her flashback episodes) she kinda shuts down and tries to get rid of it. People do find her scary, especially patrons at Cid's becauae she is very easy to tick off whether she's drunk or not. She's also a Mandalorian and they're generally pretty scary. Also Rampart because she smashed his face.

💛Her control of her emotions is complicated. Sometimes its good, she can force the emotions down and be fine on the outside, other times it's not so good and she gets really upset(angry) which usually means violence or running away and just crying alome until the emotions go away. The reason for this is because she didn't get the chance to learn how to talk about her feelings without using the Force to talk. She is concerned about her lack of control because it has caused problems many times.

🍏Chora. No elaboration. Death(of others). Lot's of trauma. Anything that really reminds her of her family that she doesn't like, ex, subconsciously linking one of her brothers to one of the batchers, not Omega though. She does have PTSD and emotional issues in general. Her reaction is generally freezing up before flashbacks then trying to get away so nothing happens to anyone else or anger followed by violence then regret. Her reactions vary.

🍐Freyu's mentality is a bit of both, she tries to be positive but has a lot of negativity. She can be cynical and is good at examining situations when she wants to. Her choices are usually based on emotions and her Force senses.

🌀Freyu was born on Massanii(a planet I made up) and she is from one of the smaller towns out in the plains. She does not still live im her childhood home because the Empire wrecked it. She's really only lived on Massanii and she loves it there, yeah it rains a lot and it can get cold but she's a Pantoran, those things don't bother her much.

🔮Star gazing. She loves looking at the night sky. It depends on who she's with for hand holding or cuddling, I wouldn't say she absolutely cuddles except for her pets, but she will let some people near her. She's both a morning and late night person, she had to get up early and go to bed late, she power naps like a pro.

🌷She probably wouldn't change anything, she likes herself and the way she looks, she does have some scars but she kinda likes those/their reminders of stuff important to her. She really doesn't care what she looks like, it's the least concerning thing for her.

This was fun! Thanks for asking @starwarstbbfan!

[too-much-sunshine]

Fangs for the Hospitality

Chapter 3

Summary: After Roman leaves his family reunion mad at Remus, his car breaks down. The huge snow storm forces him into the forest hes always been told to stay away from as a child. Who will he meet? And why are they being so nice? Most importantly, why are his teeth so sharp?

A/N: My self-indulgent magic/vampire fic! Let me know if I need to tag something or you wanna be tagged!

Relationship: Familial DAM, Eventual Roceit, Eventual Intrulogical

Warnings (per chapter): Panic attack, self-deprecation (Roman), and being quite confused (also Roman)

Word Count: 2817

Catch up!: Master list, Chapter 1, Chapter 2

Read on AO3!

The door slowly creaked open to reveal a small face with large peering eyes. The child only opened the door enough to see their face, and small hands wrapped around the edge. They seemed to be only 7 or 8 years old. There was so much curiosity in their wide eyes.

“Hello! I’m Patton. Who are you?” The small child asked, still hidden mostly by the door.

“H-h-e-ell-o m-m-my-y n-n-ame iss R-roman. I n-need sssome h-help.” Roman slurred, swaying back and forth in place.

“Patton! Close that door right now!” An older sounding voice yelled from further in the house. Roman thought he also heard some frantic footsteps as well.

This “Patton” turned around, opening the door more, and yelled back into the house.

“But dad! This guy said he needs help! He can't talk right! I wanna help him!!” As Patton said this they opened the door the rest of the way and wrapped their arms around Romans waist.

Roman could no longer comprehend what was going on really. He was quite sure if he stayed standing any longer, he would finally pass out. He couldn't feel anything anymore, which was probably bad. Everything felt like it was slow motion as another face showed up through the door. It seemed like this new person was trying to talk to him but everything sounded like it was underwater.

His vision was definitely getting worse. He tried to blink away the dark ring around what he was seeing, but everything was getting too heavy. He was feeling very, very light headed. With the last of his consciousness he pulled a few words together.

“I-i-im s-s-sor-ry-y.” and everything went black.

~~~

The world came back to Roman very slowly. He felt warm. So, so warm. He was glad he made it home. He vaguely remembered that his car had broken down at one point. The weird part was that he didn't remember how or when he had gotten home. But he did remember being very cold, and now he's not.

With his eyes still closed Roman shuffled around a bit. He was feeling more relaxed in the warmth around him then he remembers feeling in a long time. He let out a contented sigh, burrowing into the blankets around him further. The bed was so soft.

Wait.

He didn't own a bed. He slept on a couch, with a scratchy wool blanket. And last he checked his heater was broken. What was going on?

There was a small chuckle to the left of him that surely did not help his confusion and trepidation. It did help to raise his heart rate though. Slowly Roman opened his eyes to see a dark bedroom. He could see a flicker of light to the right of the bed he was still lying in. It seemed like a lit fireplace, which was adding heat and light to the room.

After blinking around trying to garner his surroundings, Roman realized all he was really looking at was the dark ceiling. He tried to push to sit up in the bed to see around more. But this proved to be much harder than he was originally anticipating. He still felt very weak. What happened?

“I wouldn't suggest that darling, you are still recovering from being frozen solid.” A voice from his left stated, causing Roman to startle back against the bed. He had completely forgotten there was someone else in the room. His breathing and heart started to speed up significantly more, freezing in place. The voice chuckled again.

To say Roman was scared would be a bit of an understatement. He didn't know where he was, how he got here and who was talking to him. Though at the moment he was sure he couldn't speak back anyway.

Finally the owner of the voice from the left came into view. They walked over to peer over Roman on the bed. Roman heart was beating out of his chest as looked back at the person above him. He stayed frozen. He was pretty sure he didn't know who this person was. Which definitely made this situation worse since he was in a house he didn't know, with a person he didn't know.

In the dark room it was quite hard to make out any definite features of them. They looked to be shorter than Roman, and a little leaner too. Which Roman distantly heard a voice that sounded like his mother say that wasn't hard to pull off with his slightly thicker size. This person also had darker hair and a slim face.

They gazed at Roman and searched his face, which Roman was sure just showed his fear. The stranger seemed to have some pity on him as they backed up and finally spoke.

“Well aren't you a pretty little thing? Showed up right at my doorstep.” They said with a smirk.

Roman felt his face grow a bit warmer. This person was just making Roman more and more confused as time went on. He opened his mouth to respond to find he couldn't speak a word. The words got caught in his throat and he couldn’t make a sound. This wasn't the first time this had happened, nor the most inconvenience. But it was still quite embarrassing. Roman tried to speak again but only ended up looking like a fish out of water.

This happened when Roman was too anxious. So much so to where he just shuts down. It happened quite a bit as a child, especially after getting yelled at for a while. Or after he would freak out too much. Remus and him had even learned a bit of sign language to help him during these times. Sadly this still happens actually quite often to the poor stage hand. He was surprised he lasted as long as he did at the party.

The party! That's right he was at a party! Then he...left? Maybe? Why did he leave? And that still doesn't answer where he is… How did he get here then?

Seeming to realize that Roman was a bit lost in thought, they spoke up again, breaking Roman out of his own dissociation.

“Cat got your tongue? That's alright I can get you something to write with. One moment please.” And with that the stranger walked out of the room.

Roman took this time to try and calm his racing heart.

‘Its okay. It's okay! This is fine Roman...just breathe...They would have hurt you by now if they wanted to…’ Roman thought to himself over and over. ‘Do that thing Remus taught you. Look for five things...was it five things or six? I don't know! I’m fucked! I’m going to die and no one will know where I am and..and...and…’ Romans breathing got worse as he tried and failed to calm himself down.

Tears were starting to gather in his eyes as he started to hyperventilate. He realized that he was having a panic attack but he was too far gone to help himself.

‘You really deserve this dumbass. You're the one who got lost or something!’ Roman kept thinking to himself as he continued to breathe too much. Tears were streaming down his face, and he couldn't even move his arms enough to wipe them away.

Just as his vision was going a bit dark around the edges the door opened back up again. Distantly Roman realized that a person was in the room which really didn't help his panicky state. There were only two people in the world that wouldn't make him worse when he was in this state. He tried to back up in the bed but he was too weak to even move more than an inch.

“Hey hey hey it's alright. I’m not going to hurt you. Calm down.” The stranger said as they slowly walked to the side or Romans bed. “I’m going to help you okay. Listen to my voice. Breathe in for me. Breathe in for four seconds. Come on it's okay try again. There ya go, hold for seven second. Now release for eight. There you go, let's do it again.” They kept speaking in a soft murmur guiding Roman though the exercise.

Once Roman seemed to be breathing a bit better, the stranger spoke up again.

“I’m sorry for scaring you, we are not used to having visitors around here. Here is the pen and paper, let me help you sit up a bit.” They said softly.

Roman was still freaking out a bit, so he was having trouble putting a full sentence together. He nodded his head anyway so he would finally be able to sit up and look around. Once he was finally sat up the stranger placed the pen and notebook in his lap, looking pointedly at Roman.

“I think you are just as confused as I am. So how about we go back and forth asking questions okay?” They asked. Roman nodded, signally for the stranger to start. “Okay, who are you?” They asked.

My name is Roman Prince.

   Where am I?

“Hello Roman. You are currently in the guest room of my house. The house itself is in the... forest. How did you get here Roman?”

As they spoke they seemed a bit reluctant to give out the information. This did not help Romans nerves about the whole situation. He felt this person was being very nice, and for what reason? He wasn't used to free kindness.

I

Roman paused his shaky writing, not knowing how to answer the question he was asked. How did he get here?

I don’t know… I was at a family reunion in the countryside. Then I left because...I don't remember...and then my car broke down and now I’m here. Which i'm sorry about. I didn't mean to interrupt or impose I can go if you want me too.

Roman showed the journal to the stranger, who looked at it confused.

“You do know there is about 3 feet of snow outside right now right? Even if I wanted you out, I couldn't let you in good conscious. You'd freeze to death. Well...again.” They said.

Wait.

I froze to death?

Roman wrote, significantly more pale than before.

“Ah ah that's two questions in a row, but I’ll answer. You did not literally freeze to death sweetie. You are very much alive. During the storm you showed up on my doorstep confusing it for death's door. My...son was a bit too friendly with you and you passed out right as I came to the door. Sorry if he scared you. He's not used to people coming to the door. But after you fainted I took you inside. You were hypothermic and soaked to the bone, so I decided to warm you up. Lucky I did because as soon as I took you in, the snow started back up again. You're lucky I’m nice, not everyone in these woods would have done the same.” They warned. “Now it's my turn. How old are you darling?

Man what was with all these pet names? Roman was starting to breathe funny again and this time he wasn't quite sure why.

I’m 25. Why?

“Really? You don't look a day over 20.” They smirked at Roman as his face started to heat up again. “My my you are quite easy to fluster.”

A bit flustered Roman started to write back quicker than before.

My family would disagree about my looks, but thank you I guess. But you didn't answer my question. Why ask about my age?

“I just wanted to make sure your parents were looking for their lost child.” They smirked.

Roman gave a small smile back at that.

Even if I was that young, I can guarantee she wouldn't come looking for me.

The stranger was giving Roman an odd look while reading what he'd written. It made Roman realize that they were on the topic of himself for too long. He wanted to change the subject to literally anything else. Most people didn't like when he talked about himself and his family. He always over shared and drove everyone off.

Sorry. I think I got off track talking about myself. Sorry, I tend to talk too much. Where is your son?

The stranger gave him a slightly concerned look, clearly noticing the change of subject, but gracefully let it slide as they answered the question.

“It's okay hon, I did ask about you after all. Anyway, which one son do you have in mind? I've got two. But I’ll assume you mean the one you met. Patton should be sleeping right now. It is the middle of the night.”

At that Roman blanched. How long had he been here? Ruining this poor person's night and probably next day. Even their poor kid was involved in his mess.

I’m so sorry. You should be asleep too not worrying about me. I’m so sorry.

Roman fanatically wrote to the kind stranger. They seemed a bit confused by his sudden change in pace.

“No no, it's fine. I don't sleep much anyway... “

Still I’m sorry that I’m here. I was just so lost I didn't have a phone and couldn't stay in my car so I decided to go into the woods after seeing the light of your house.

“It seems you've picked up a bit of your memory. Barring the fact there no way you should have been able to see my house from the road, if I didn't want to help you I wouldn't have. It's okay for you to be here. Okay?”

It's not okay though. I shouldn't be here imposing here taking up your space. I’ll leave as soon as you want me too.

The stranger seemed to be taken a bit back. They paused and looked passed Roman, lost in thought. After Roman started thinking that maybe he should just stop talking forever and leave through the window, they finally spoke up again.

“What if I want you to stay here?” They asked, still not looking completely at Roman.

Roman froze, very confused by the question. Stuntingly he wrote a very elegant response.

I- what?

“Hon, I don't want you to leave yet. You can't even walk yet. It's okay for you to take up space. Besides it might be nice to talk to someone who isn't less than 8 years old. Will you at least stay till morning?”

Roman looked into the strangers face as he finished speaking, his eyes starting to sing a bit. Nobody had ever wanted him around before. This random stranger was getting weirder by the minute. After a moment Roman wrote back.

As long as I’m welcome I’ll stay if you want... Who are you?

“Oh where are my manners! My name is Janus, it's a pleasure to meet you Roman.” Janus smiled at Roman in the dim light, the little light there was reflecting on their sharp canines. Romans eyes widened a bit, then he squinted to try and see better in the dark room. It didn't help.

“Why don't you try and get more sleep Roman. I’ll bring you something to eat in the morning to gain your strength back. If you need me, call me. I’ll hear you.” They started to walk to the door when they paused. “And Roman, I trust that you keep to your room. This house is quite old, don't want you getting hurt anymore then you already are. Goodnight!” Then they finally walked out of the room.

‘What did I just get myself into? I must be tired...I think I’m starting to see things that aren't there...’ Roman thought as he shimmied back into sheets.

Roman closed his eyes, not realizing how tired he was until he was laying down again. He was asleep again within minutes of Janus’ departure, slipping away into pleasant, warm dreams.

~~~

Janus closed the door behind himself as he walked out of the room. He let the friendly smile he was carrying before slip off his face, replacing it with a small scowl. He pressed his back against the door and listened until he was sure Roman had fallen back asleep.

Maybe he got himself into more than he should have. But he couldn't just let this guy walk away after being able to walk into the woods. Plus he looked to be dead on his feet.

Janus let out a sigh and spoke a small incantation under his breath. The guest door glowed a soft yellow around the edges, signifying that the spell had worked. The door was now not locked, but would let Janus know if anyone opened the door.

With that Janus walked down the hall leaving the man to his sleep. He's gonna have a lot of work and paperwork to fill out with this one.

~~~

Next Chapter

Taglist:

@primaveradoodles

[planetjisungie]

jolie- l.mh (part 1)

characters; prince! mark, princess! reader ft. dreamies, yuta and taeyong

summary; when you turn 18, you have to marry the prince of the eastern kingdom to secure an alliance. but what happens when your natural immature and positive personality collides with his cold and negative one.

an; king mark lee needed an au all to himself because this boy deserves the whole world, lets not lie here. also like i love this picture and it sparks big prince energy or like nutcracker ballet energy. also me deciding after 2 days of wallowing in self pity about how i hate having longass posts so im putting it into parts

"y/n! wake up darling!" your mother shook your body awake, causing you to grumble and thrash around. you were just having a dream about this peculiar event of 2 people switching bodies after a handshake. it was rather odd yet entertaining.

"what" you throw your limbs out on the bed in a lazy attempt to stretch and let out a groan. youe mother sighed and stood back. "its your 18th birthday today, the maids have your dress"

ah. there it is. the day youve literally blocked from your mind because of how much you simply detested the idea. it was signed and agreed 6 years ago that you, princess of the southern kingdom, would marry a prince from the eastern kingdom. though you had never met either of the princes, you had heard plenty of rumours and tales, some you believed, some you did not.

you slowly climbed out of bed, staggering a little as you walked towards the maids for your dressing. you didn’t actually need them, unless you were supposed to wear the death trap which is labelled a corset, but your parents insisted on you having them. so, you naturally made friends with them to make it as least of a work space as possible.

"good morning yeonha, nari" you greeted them with a smile which they returned. just because you weren’t necessarily the happiest doesnt mean you should relay the feeling onto the poor maids, and your friends.

"morning princess" nari said, causing you to roll your eyes. yes, they still called you princess out of habit and you hated it. as soon as your brother becomes the king, the first thing you’re doing is making everyone call you by your first name (as your parents refuse to let that happen as of currently).

with a deep sigh, you allowed yourself to be dressed, the constricting corset making you feel like your ribs were about to snap. the dress itself was beautiful though, a long pale blue dress which was off the shoulder, and had mesh sleeved elasticated around your wrists. your h/l hair was naturally curled, and fell around your face delicately as soon as the pin was removed, and one of your maids brushed the tresses. you were lucky in the aspect of hair, it was truly gorgeous and you had never hated it.

the heels were a slightly different case. they pinched your toes and no matter how much training you had to walk in them- they were satans creation. you preferred simple satin slippers, or just any shoe that does not have a stick on the end which could impale someone. a small golden and intricate crown was places atop your head, glittering earrings in and you were finished. you never really needed makeup, your natural beauty was well known in your kingdom though the people saw your kindness shine through more.

the southern kingdom was a very foresty and almost tropical place, with warm breezes and turqouise oceans, yet beautiful green trees and luscious grass, it was practically perfect. the eastern kingdom, was known to be a pretty cold place, not as freezing as the northern kingdom yet not as warm as the southern kingdom. oddly enough, the western kingdom was the hottest, mainly composed of sand and dry stone, one of your best friends lived in the western kingdom, prince jaemin.

huffing again, you left your room, concealing the winces from your feet which were already saw as you walked with quick steps to the throne room, where you would be waiting for the arrival of the eastern royalties. or so you thought. the frown on your face diminished into a look of shock and confusion when you saw the princes already there, turning to your parents who were glowering at you. oops, you were late.

"ah, y/n nice for you to finally join us" your mother said, grabbing your wrist and dragging you to stand next to her, facing the princes who were already bowing to you. there were two of them, one of which looked a little older with dark grey hair, and the other who had pitch black hair (pitch black hair was superior). the boy with grey hair was smiling at you and your curtseyed politely, but the black haired boy... he didnt look like he cared at all. reluctantly, you curtsey quickly before shooting a look at your mother.

"we welcome you warmly, prince taeyong and prince minhyung. we hope you enjoy your stay for the next month, dont hesitate to come to us if anything is not up to standards" your father bowed towards the boys. you stared distatastefully at the ground before looking up with a smile. even if you didnt want to marry yet, you may as well be nice to them as it is inevitable.

"y/n, go and make yourself useful whilst we show taeyong and minhyung their rooms" your mother said, staring into your eyes like a hawk. nodding you spun on your heels and walked out of the room rapidly, letting out a thankful sigh that you got out of that situation. roaming down the halls, you walk around, looking for any staff.

"oh! jeno!" you sped towards the knight in training. lee jeno was the mentoree of your mother’s knight, and soon to become yours.

"y/n!" he grinned and you wrapped your arms around him in a tight, warm hug. if you actually had a choice, you probably wouldve married jeno, seeing as he was your best friend and it wouldve been more of a friendship based marriage.

"how are the princes?" he asked, you locking your arm in his as you both walked down the halls. rolling your eyes you turned to face him.

"you know how i feel about this whole shitty marriage debacle. id rather not marry either- though im sure they’re lovely" that was another thing you did. always giving people the benefit of the doubt. jeno grimaced and nodded, his black hair bouncing softly as he did so.

"yeah i know. but you have a month, so maybe it would be good to try and get close to them at least" his naturally deep voice you had grown accustomed to, and it was hard to deny anything he said as all he spoke was truth. it wasnt like you had a choice anyway, it was all for some alliance. "yup" you muttered. looking outside, you saw sicheng, the gardener, planting new flowers and you gasped, tugging jenos arm. "look! lets go help out winwin" you dashed outside as fast as you could in your death traps for the feet, jeno trailing behind you. he knew how much you loved gardening and the outside.

"winwin~" you plopped next to him, promptly kicking off your heels as you kneeled on the soft grass, dress awkwardly flowing out around you. the gardener turned to you and smiled, pausing from digging out the old flowers and replacing them with newer ones.

"princess, did you need anything?" he asked, his attention now fully on you. nodding, you grab the other two trowels and handed one to jeno, grinning at winwin. "we have come to help" you announced, jeno chuckling at your eagerness to dig into soil. winwin nodded. "i see. well, you know what to do"

that was true. you often did spend time gardening with winwin and jeno, so it was unsurprising that you wanted to help again. digging into the dirt with a smile, you chatted with jeno and sicheng, just having a general good time whilst listening to the birds chirping and the riverstreams around the palace rushing. it was a very peaceful place, and you enjoyed it.

mark, who had finished talking with your parents was walking with his advisor, johnny, just around the castle when he saw your brother, prince yuta, looking out the window with a wide smile on his face. once yuta noticed their presence, he bowed towards them.

"oh, my apologies for not noticing you sooner" he apologised, which mark turned down with a small smile telling him it was okay. "is there something going on outside?" johnny asked, moving next to the window to see if something interesting was happening. following johnny, mark also stood at the window, all three of them now squeezed in as they looked out onto the palace gardens. marks gaze wandered before it landed on the 3 figures on the ground, planting flowers. it wasnt hard to figure out one of them was you, your crown gleaming in the sunlight. "did your parents force her to garden for a punishment?" johnny inquired to yuta who shook his head. "not at all, that doofus of a sister of mine likes doing things and has recently found enjoyment in gardening with sicheng" he answered softly, looking at his sister with adoration.

even from the window, mark could practically feel the waves of happiness radiating off of her. yet, they werent there when they met that morning.

[politesper-moved]

aesthetics for the entities, part i.   bold what applies to your muse, italics what applies situationally or only in certain verses. rest of the fears here.  this is based on a horror podcast;  potentially triggering and / or upsetting content ahead!

i.  the buried. WEIGHTED BLANKETS. drowning.  THE COMFORT OF A LOVED ONE’S WEIGHT.  soil and sand piling on top of you.  hugging so hard it hurts a little.  cramped hiding spots.  LETTING OUT AIR UNDERWATER TO SINK TO THE BOTTOM OF THE POOL.  walls pressing in on you.  NOT MOVING FROM A POSITION EVEN THOUGH YOU’RE CRAMPING A LITTLE.  dragging the last second before you have to inhale.  LONELY SUBWAYS.  feeling like one with the earth.  a layer of dirt on you.  LOOKING FOR SOMETHING BELLOW.  cardboard boxes and tiny pillow forts.  hands calloused from digging.  KNOWING THAT YOUR PURPOSE IS JUST BELOW THE SURFACE.  ENTERING YOUR FINAL RESTING PLACE BEFORE IT KILLS YOU.  A STORM DROWNING YOU OUT.  dust and sand speaking to you.

ii.  THE CORRUPTION.   insects.  a close imitation of the natural course of life.  an illness in a community.  a rag that dirties more than it cleans.  an untreated wound.  containment.  breaching containment.  unbreathable air.  fungi.  ONE WITH THAT YOU LOVE.  one with what loves you.  a corpse unfit for a glass case.  hearing a song in the sound of tiny wings and legs.  honeycomb patterns.  an ecosystem within a person.  a curse passed on.  the hubris of a scientist.  an ugly death where a glorious one is owed.  blood on a handkerchief.  parasites.  something pushing up the sewer.  a mask to keep something out.  trypophobia.  KNOWING YOU BELONG.  death weeks after impact.  fever.  food that’s gone off.  PANDORA’S BOX.  death behind a glass.

iii.  THE DARK.   SHADOWS.  lights that turn off by themselves.  THE FEEL OF COLD MARBLE.  a beaked creature in the night.  THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN SEEING DARKNESS AND SEEING NOTHING.  touch of something you can’t see.  HIDNG UNDER A BLANKET.  white, clouded eyes.  MONTHS WITHOUT GOING OUTSIDE IN THE SUNLIGHT.  pouring dark.  unscrewing lightbulbs.  BLACK MATTER.  light sensitivity.  A STARLESS NIGHT.  TIME BEFORE LIGHT WAS CREATED.  a shadow on the wall without a body to attach to.  withering plants.  A WORLD WITHOUT A SUN.  FOOTFALLS IN AN EMPTY HOUSE IN THE NIGHT.  a light that doesn’t reach as far as it should.  desperate reach for a flashlight.  clothes that hide your shape. staying unperceivable. winter months in the north.  AN EMPTHY CHURCH.

iv.  THE DESOLATION.  senseless pain.  WARMTH OF FAITH.  wax where skin should be.  a BLAZING FIRE.  HEAT WITHOUT A SOURCE.  the third or fourth tragedy in the family.  losing everything you’ve ever held dear.  so much to live for, gone so soon.  the smell of gasoline.  touch that scars.  COFFEE CUP THAT NEVER GOES COLD.  scorch marks on wood.  inescapably warm air.  a child born in fire.  death of a loved one.  A CANDLE WITHOUT FLAME.  AN ALTER IN THE MIDDLE OF THE WOODS.  animals with burnt fur.  plastic explosives.  burning hot metal.  sweating in an interrogation room.  never touching a loved one.  disfigurement.  A KISS THAT RUINS YOU.  the scent of burning fat.  a tattoo that terrifies its viewer.  the agony of hellfire displayed as art.  auburn hair.  little clothing in cold weather.  a ripple in the air.  trying to cool down in vain.

v.  the flesh.   body horror.  factories.  a hunger for something more filling.  NEVER QUITE HAPPY WITH HOW YOU LOOK.  the terror of an animal waiting for slaughter.  a very good meal. the liquid of a perfect steak. fighting your worst survival instincts.  a twisted bone.  LONG NIGHTS WORKING OUT.  more than one heart.  appearance that shapes like clay.  a bag of bones.  bone broth in a pot.  knowing to fear pigs.  the butcher’s shop.  PLASTIC SURGERY.   something alien inside your body.  a hunger in the gaze laid upon you.  unwitting cannibalism.  forgetting what you used to look like.  BEING ADMIRED FOR YOUR APPEARANCE AND APPEARANCE ONLY.  teeth marks on skin.  scars from wounds that should’ve killed you.  cooking in scarcity.  fenced in with one way to go.

vi.  THE END.  THE LAST PAGE OF A BOOK.  NIGHTMARES THAT DON’T FEEL LIKE NIGHTMARES.  a skeletal hand. the grip of the grim reaper around your throat.  EXISTENTIAL PAIN.  ivory dice.  flatlining in a hospital.  GAMBLING WITH DEATH.  as old as the universe.  SOUL AND SPIRIT ATTACHED TO AN OBJECT.  a dream where you die.  closing your eyes for the last time.  the plead of a dying one.  KNOWING THE FATE OF SOMEONE YOU KNOW AND BEING UNABLE TO PREVENT IT.  a thousand cords tugging you towards your end.  skin that’s freezing to the touch.  AN ACT OF DESPERATION.  SOMEONE’S LIFE FOR YOURS. an eternity spent alive.  THE COST OF YOUR SELFISHNESS.  watching your own burial.  causing your own burial. the smell of death.  NUMBNESS TO FEAR.  words from someone gone.  MEANINGLESSNESS OF THE ACTIONS OR LIVES OF SINGLE PEOPLE IN THE UNIVERSE.  MULTIPLE NEAR-DEATH EXPERIENCES YOU REFUSE TO DIE FROM.

vii.  the eye.  googling something you shouldn’t have.  EUREKA MOMENTS.  the unforgiving lens of a camera.  witness reports.  hidden libraries.  eyes of different colours.  FEELING OF BEING WATCHED.  a death recorded in tape.  A TRAGEDY YOU CAN’T WALK AWAY FROM.  ENDANGERING YOURSELF FOR KNOWLEDGE.  TRUTH.  analog records.  a symbol of an eye.  a watch tower.  COMPULSION TO DOCUMENT.  TURNING ON RECORDING DEVICES WITHOUT THINKING ABOUT IT.  SAVING EVIDENCE BEFORE THE PERSON.  EXTRACTING INFORMATION.  TRUTH OR DARE, WITHOUT THE DARE.  A THIRST FOR KNOWLEDGE. books that speak to you.  coordinated shelves.  CATALOGUING SYSTEMS.  VOYEURISM.  POLICE REPORT YOU CAN’T PUT DOWN.  REASONING YOUR WAY OUT.  smell of old papers.  books that read you back.

TAGGED BY:   i stole from @florabled​ TAGGING:   @brigadeleadxr​ , @weeiner​ , @impassiveesper​ , @warraigoe​ . . .  and  aNYONE else who wants to im so bad at tagging people

[jungnoir]

ik uve gotten a lot of asks for this but i just reread battlecry for what i Believe is the 7th time and i just. 😭😭 you said we’re never getting a sequel but can i get a crumb😭😭 a single sentence about what happens after, ANYTHING 😭😭😭 spare content maam, spare content?? will she and jaem have a falling out.... will she and JENO have a falling out...... how will her parents react.... would jeno feel too guilty and give her up, despite what she wants...... the possibilities.... r endless....

omg wait just realized i might have sounded a bit pushy or just. Annoying and kinda rude in general in the last ask IM SORRY THATS 110% NOT MY INTENTION

no dw bb you’re okay!! this ask honestly made me laugh ashfisjf and yes there are so many possibilities!!! I guess I can give you insight into one of them,, perhaps. it’s been so long though so I apologize if it’s disapointing. tw: light gore, mentions of torture, pretty dark. kinda just real sad in the beginning. here’s battlecry for those who haven’t read it. also, the song this is named after is really good and I recommend it!!

when the bones are good;

“Wretched boy,” whip, “wretched, cursed boy,” whip, “you’re a devil! You bring ruin to my family!”

One would think that after weeks of this, Jeno would be used to the blinding pain of a horse whip at his back. The first few hits reopen old wounds, ones that burn against rough fabric and heavy metal and the sweat of a day’s work protecting the kingdom. It just gets worse the longer they go on, until he’s crying into his bindings, wishing the saltwater would melt away the rope and he could try to run. He tried so many a time before. What made him think he had a better chance this time? Or the next? Or the next? Because there would always be a next.

Jeno no longer pleads. He takes the punishment in stride, hoping to the gods that have abandoned him to at least spare him a moment of ignorant bliss. No pain. 

Whip!

A choked sob leaves his throat and by some miraculous mercy, the whip hits him no more after that. He slumps against the disgusting chamber floors that are covered in the remains and innards of everyone who has met their fate here. Traitors, thieves, murderers, him. 

He is only held up by his tied up hands, keeping him from laying fully on the ground, suspending him in the air because his legs are too weak to do anything but give out. He’s lucky to still have his trousers, for his shirt is all torn to shreds in a corner of the chamber somewhere, so the cold stings against his bleeding wounds relentlessly. He huffs and puffs and with each breath, a cloud of vapor follows. It’s going to be freezing tonight. They may as well just kill him here.

Jeno can hear the king’s footsteps but he doesn’t dare open his eyes or look over his shoulder. He doesn’t get a choice though, when the king spins him around harshly and his back is pressed up against the jagged stone wall. He cries out again, being met by a sharp slap to the face. Jeno is silent at once. “Why I ever showed mercy to that abhorrent wench of a mother you have, I will never know. I should have killed both her and you that night and you know it.”

Jeno nods, knowing that if he refuses to respond he’ll just get hurt more. He’d really like to go to sleep now. 

“To think,” the king spits in Jeno’s face, “I gave a bastard peasant boy a place to sleep, food to eat, a place as close to my dearest jewel no man but me will ever have… and you had the audacity to come here in your mother’s name, knowing full well what I’d do to you if I found out. The very arrogance you have, walking these palace grounds for so long, plotting my demise… I ought to hang you in the square where everyone can see you for the treacherous demon you are.”

Jeno could imagine it. The townspeople taking turns to spit on him, calling him a devil child, sentencing him to death beside his mother. He hadn’t seen her since the day she laid the curse on you, the day he’d been found out by the king for his relation to the witch. That was the day the torture started, and if it wasn’t for how suspicious his sudden disappearance would be, Jeno would already be dead by now. 

Things were stiff now that all eyes were on the king. He couldn’t easily dispose of the witch’s spawn like he’d been doing to the others like him for the last few decades, lest the uprisings really take flight. For now, he’d have to wait until the excitement cooled down, and then…

“Leave him here. Hopefully the night will kill him before I have to. I’m far too exhausted to exert the effort.” Jeno hears the king’s voice as he stands and walks out of the cell, followed by the clang of the door slamming shut. It leaves a ringing in his ears that makes him whimper. He, too, hoped the night would kill him first. He couldn’t bear to see your face after your father no doubt fed you some lies about him being the reason for your curse in the first place. The hate you’d harbor for him as he made his way to be executed… he didn’t dare to imagine it.

Where was home?

With his mother? The witch who’d bred him to be her revenge, abandoning the just cause of protecting her coven and avenging her fallen witches in order to spill the king’s blood? The witch who sent him as an agent, meant to orchestrate her plan in slaughtering the royal family for their continued persecution of witches? The witch whose magic sizzled in his veins? The witch who abandoned him the moment he’d confessed “I’m in love”? 

Or was it with you before all this happened? The golden summer days of adolescence where the two of you were just children in love, and there was no curse, and there was no Jaemin, and the king and queen still thought of him as good? With you, the loving princess who didn’t emulate a single ounce of her father’s true nature?

Or was it in the night, when sparks of forbidden energy flowed through his fingertips and created images of a life where Jeno was happy and safe? Was it in the comfort of his “dark” magic, the very thing he kept hidden to save his life?

Home was… it was a rocking carriage. 

Jeno bolts upright and instantly regrets it when his back protests, making him cry in agony. He doesn’t know where he is, only that he’s moving, like he’s being carried somewhere. A hand on his cheek makes him alert to his surroundings at once.

It’s quiet and dark and there’s a hooded figure staring down at him. A familiar voice coos at him, “Please be careful… your wounds only just stopped bleeding.”

It’s you. You’re there. He can feel warmth wrapped around his body and he looks down to see bandages curled tight around his ribs and chest. A loose, peasant’s shirt is hanging off his body but it’s still thick enough to keep him warm, and then there’s a blanket hanging off his shoulders too. 

There’s a small lantern in your hands that lights up your sweet face. Jeno so badly wants to kiss you again. Instead, he blinks back his overwhelming love and asks the burning question on his mind, “Where are we?”

Your hand flutters from his cheek, leaving the boy whining softly in the loss of contact, but it’s only to help readjust his blanket. “The woods. We’re headed for the Na Kingdom.”

A hand much different from your own touches his shoulder, and before Jeno can react the way he’s been bred to, there’s a another blanket being draped over him. Jeno chances a look over his other shoulder and finds another hooded figure, and though the light scarcely meets his face, the features are apparent. 

Jaemin’s lips are pulled tight in a small frown, but he cannot hide the softness in his eyes when Jeno meets them. “It will be a long journey, and we will have to stop a few times for supplies and such. It’ll be trouble trying to smuggle so many people out of the kingdom after the ordeal.”

“I like our odds,” you perk up from beside Jeno, leaning in close to him to provide some warmth, “Renjun knows this land like the back of his hand, and Mark’s been working on cloaking spells for months now.”

It’s only then that Jeno recognizes a sleeping figure at the far end of the carriage, a boy curled up in some hay and sleeping peacefully, no doubt the court mage he’d been watching monitor you for weeks. He could only then assume that Renjun was leading the carriage from outside. His mind, putting things together slowly but surely, wonders how you’d both convinced them to come with you. “Did something happen…? Did your father threaten your life?” 

“He might as well have.” Your voice hardens, but it’s not directed at him. No, your anger is saved solely for the man who raised you, “To beat you… to dare lay his hands on you the way he did… he might as well have done the same to me. It hurts me just the same.”

You were doing this for him. 

Jaemin shuffles a little closer at his other side, adding even more warmth to the freezing boy, “…you have been my friend these past few weeks and I could not ask for more kindness from you even if I was that selfish,” Jeno shudders, unable to comprehend, “what happened… we can discuss at a later time. Right now, your safety and the safety of your people is all that matters to me. We cannot let the king get away with his atrocities. When we get home, I’ll see to it that the treaty is ended and that my father rights her father’s wrongs. I promise that all witches will be safe.”

Jaemin was doing this for him. Why would anyone…?

“That’s right. Jaemin’s kingdom is safe for all. We will make this right, Jeno.” You place a soft kiss to his forehead, enveloping the boy in a hug so tight but so loving that he can ignore the pain for now.

With one hand on your arm, Jeno places the other on Jaemin’s, shocking the prince, “Your highness, I swear to you my life. I will protect both you and (Y/N) even if it kills me.”

The small frown on Jaemin’s lips wavers some at that. Jeno can’t tell what it means, only that he hates seeing the prince look so pained. He’d gotten used to the smiles and laughter. He hated knowing he was the reason for its absence. He would do anything he could to fix-

Jeno is startled when the prince suddenly collapses into his side in a fit of soft crying, tears rushing out of his eyes so fast that the shoulder of Jeno’s blanket is soaked in seconds. The prince has wrapped himself tight around the knight, tight like you, and yet again, the pain is bearable. “You’re an idiot, Jeno,” Jaemin swears through gritted teeth, “don’t talk to me like a knight. Talk to me like you talk to (Y/N). Talk to me like I mean something to you. I care about you.”

You, too, are sniffling into Jeno’s opposite shoulder, rubbing at his arms to fight against the night air.

It’s strange. “I… care about you, too. I’m sorry.” He says and you lay down like that, fall asleep like that. It’s so, so strange. This feels pretty close to a home.

[httpjeon]

❝take the throne (Ⅰ)❞ myg

― summary: you leave your safe home with the mysterious yoongi to escape the kingdom

yoongi/reader | vampire!au | angst, fluff | 3k ↬ content warnings: mentions of humans being killed, human genocide, sort of dystopian society elements

a/n: hey guys! im really proud of the world building i was able to do in this fic! i really hope you enjoy it! even though it has no smut, i hope you like it regardless!

→ blog masterlist     → series masterlist (coming soon)              →pt2

Sharp claws reached for you as you ran, the bitter cold air whipping at your face making it burn. Twigs and leaves snapped beneath your feet, your breath coming out in foggy clouds as you panted. You could hear it panting behind you as well, mixing with snarls and hisses.

You were scared.

You ran out of stamina, it didn't.

And you were getting tired, slowing down from exhaustion and the cold.

It was below freezing, you were only shielded by a flimsy, tattered night dress and a cloak you had slid on when you left your cabin to investigate the noises from outside.

You weren't prepared to be faced with gleaming red eyes and sharp fangs poised to rip your throat out.

When you took off, you had no idea what you were doing or where you were going.

Your bare foot caught an unassuming tree stump, sending your hurtling into your cold, hard ground. The beast immediately took advantage of your vulnerability and pounced on you.

You could see the hunger in his eyes as he grinned, lowering his mouth to your neck in preparation to bite.

"It's time," It whispered before crunching down on the flimsy flesh of your neck.

Your eyes snapped open and you shot up in bed, hands immediately going to your neck, pulling away to make sure there was no sign of blood. Heaving a sigh, you flopped back into bed.

It had been dreams like that one after another ever since the newcomer came to your village.

He was a quiet young man, around your own age. He was pale, hiding most of his face and body from those around him. When questioned, he had revealed he lived in hiding very close to a city, but had managed to sneak further into the country.

It was dangerous for humans to be near cities, ever since the King declared that all humans be executed as he attempted to turn the Kingdom of Atrea into a vampiric stronghold. Cities were overrun, ruled by the vampires whereas humans who had escaped, were pushed into the country to hide.

You wondered exactly how the mysterious stranger had managed to live for so long near a city. But looking at how pale he was, due to lack of sunlight, you could guess he had been hiding somewhere deep -- inside a cave, perhaps.

It was still dark outside, only the moonlight illuminating your room casting shadows on the walls around you.

Knock knock knock.

You shot up in bed once again, eyes wide in surprise. It resounded again, three knocks on your front door.

You stood up from your bed, grabbing your lantern off your bedside table, turning the switch so it lit up. The wooden floor was cold beneath your bare feet as you stepped out of your bedroom.

Three more knocks again.

"I'm coming!" You called, hurrying over to the door, pulling open the latch that kept your door locked.

Opening it, you were shocked by the familiar pale face staring back at you.

"Yoongi?" You whispered, hurriedly ushering him inside, even though he seemed unaffected by the snow falling. "What're you doing here?"

"I came to talk to you," He responded coolly, taking his hood off and taking a seat on a nearby chair. You took a seat with him, still getting over the fact he was literally in your house.

"What about?" You asked, placing your lantern on the table so it illuminated the both of you in its dim yellow cast.

"I need to leave," He breathed, leaning back in the chair so it creaked loudly.

"Leave? You just got here. There's nowhere for you to go," You shook your head, brows furrowed as you met his blank gaze. "There isn't another village for miles, it'll take days to find another place. It's the middle of winter, you can't leave!"

"No, I mean I need to leave this island," His words shocked you into pure silence.

"That's impossible," You choked out.

You were baffled. The borders were heavily guarded to make sure no one could enter or leave the Kingdom. Anyone who attempted to do either were executed on the spot. The King kept the island a reclusive Kingdom.

"No it isn't," Yoongi sighed, resting his elbows on the table. "There's a little village not far from here--"

"No there isn't Yoongi, I've lived here my entire life. There's no other village nearby!"

"Village is...a broad word for it. It's just a couple of people living in seclusion," Yoongi explained. "And I'm going to go the moment I get a chance,"

"Take me with you then," Your words seemed to startle him as his eyes flew open wider.

"What?"

"You heard me,"

"But...this is your home?"

"And being human here is a death sentence. If you can escape then I can too. So take me with you," You urged, leaning forward closer to him. "Please,"

After a moment of silence, Yoongi breathed out and "okay".

"Be ready to leave at any time," He ordered just before he vanished back through your front door.

You were left sitting by your lantern light alone, as if he had never been there to begin with.

His arrival came just a week later, it was the warmest night of the season and you were awoken by three knocks on your door.

"Time to go," He said, holding his own lantern but you noticed he didn't have a bag of belongings with him. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

"As sure as I'll ever be," You breathed, throwing your rucksack on your back. You had packed it with some food items and various things of value just in case.

You felt sentimental leaving your childhood home behind and your belongings but, you also knew this was a once in a lifetime opportunity.

You didn't have any family left and most others who lived in the village kept to themselves, avoiding doing much to gain attention from anyone. They were weary, as were most humans during those times. Anything could change at the drop of a hat; the King could send an army across the countryside to find the humans left in hiding to slaughter them.

As the sun began to peek over the horizon, you let out a weary sigh. Yoongi wasn't very comforting company. He was silent most of the time, walking several steps ahead of you.

"Are you alright?" He asked, looking over his shoulder.

"I'm just wondering what the plan is here," You admitted, jogging a little bit to walk by his side.

He didn't seem effected by the walking at all, he wasn't even breathing heavily.

"A friend of mine is nearby, we'll go see him and see where we go from there," He explained simply, leaving no room for you to argue. "So do you have a plan?"

"I don't really know," You admitted. "I just want to get out of here. I've heard the other Kingdoms are free. Maybe when we get to one of those, I'll have an idea of what to do,"

"When? Are you that optimistic?" He asked, flashing you a small smile.

"I like to try," You muttered. "No sense in scaring myself out of this with what-ifs, you know?"

"That's fair," Yoongi nodded, stepping widely over a puddle of melting snow. "Right now we're safe. Searches don't get conducted this far out anymore. But the more we move around, the more we're in the open -- there's a bigger chance someone will catch sight of us. So we'll need to be more on guard the further we go,"

"Are there still settlements near cities?"

"Only a very few," Yoongi said. "They're in very poor conditions. Villages that're out here are much better off -- a lot of humans who are trapped near the cities don't even have houses. They're still a lot of nomadic humans as well, too scared to remain in one place and feel they're better off constantly on the move,"

"But I lived in one place my whole life and I've never once met a vampire,"

"That's true. But not everyone shares the view that that's the best way to live,"

"And constantly on the run is?"

"Some people don't have a choice," You hummed at his words, taking them in. Before you could respond, he grabbed your wrist -- cold shocked up your arm at the touch. "There,"

You followed his gaze, furrowing your brows when you didn't see anything. There was nothing but a horizon of trees -- the beginning of a forest.

"Where?" Yoongi chuckled, tugging your wrist lightly to get you walking again.

You obediently followed, letting him lead you to the treeline. Once you were past the first few trees, you finally noticed the small cottage that was situated, settled against the trees so that it blended. Beside that one, there were two much smaller cabins but Yoongi disregarded those, instead going straight into the larger ones.

"Seokjin," Yoongi greeted easily to the man sitting in a chair with a book in his hands.

"It's about time you go here, Yoongi," The man sighed, putting his book down and waving the two of you in. "And who is this?"

"_____, she helped me out when I first moved to her village,"

You grew flustered at his words. It wasn't truly help, you were just being neighborly. Everyone in the village was weary of the newcomer, barely speaking to him but you had stopped by where he had been staying in a small tent to give him blankets and some food.

"How kind," Seokjin nodded. "Well _____, my name is Kim Seokjin and I'm an old friend of Yoongi's,"

"I-It's nice to meet you," You stuttered, feeling frozen over the power his stare held.

"So where is Hoseok?" Yoongi asked, finally taking a seat.

"He's currently located in Canne, he has been there for the past several months. I've made him aware of your...movements and he's fully prepared to help. However," His eyes turned to you. "I'm not so sure how he'll feel about your...addition,"

Canne? A city?

"Hoseok will help no matter what, you know that," Yoongi declared, making Seokjin snicker.

"You're right, how silly of me," He stood up suddenly, giving you a good look at how tall and broad he was.

He sauntered over to a bookshelf nestled in the corner, pulling out a small book and flipping through several pages before pulling out a loose piece of folded paper. When he sat back down, he handed it over to Yoongi, who eagerly opened it. As you looked over his shoulder, you were surprised to see a handmade map.

"Jungkook made it before he left," Seokjin explained. "It's a map of Loflia including the various settlements both vamp and human that surround Canne. He highlighted the trail you are to take that will get you there safest and without much trouble. I can't guarantee that you won't run into trouble as you'll be entering the city territory but, it's the best we were able to come up with,"

"How is Jungkook? Jimin?" Yoongi asked, eyes never leaving the map.

"Last I heard they're both well and living safely in Ashor,"

"Ashor? Wait, you know people who have escaped Atrea?" You gasped, looking to Yoongi, who sighed.

"Yoongi, does she not--"

"Seokjin, Hoseok, Jimin, Jungkook and I were childhood friends," Yoongi cut Jin off, giving him a sharp glare, making the bigger man raise a brow curiously.

"A few years ago, we all decided to try leaving. We hatched a plan but Jungkook and Jimin were the only two brave enough to execute it," Seokjin picked up a picture frame beside him, handing it to you. "Yoongi, me, Jungkook, Jimin, and Hoseok respectively,"

You gazed at the picture, noting both Yoongi and Seokjin looked the same. The other three -- they were just as beautiful as the two you knew.

Jungkook had big, round doe-like eyes and a big bunny-like smile. Jimin had his arm thrown around Jungkook and was smiling fondly at the camera. Finally, Hoseok was leaning against a tree, a small smirk on his lips with his arms cross over his chest.

"So Jungkook and Jimin escaped? And now Yoongi is trying to escape?" You gaped, eyes wide as you stared at the two friends.

"It was done successfully twice, and it's my turn next," Yoongi explained. "We're all going to meet together in Ashor," You noticed how fondly Yoongi gazed down at the photo of his friends, touching their faces.

"It's been about a year since Jungkook left and about 8 months since Jimin," Seokjin sighed, placing the picture frame back where it was. "After Yoongi leaves, it'll be Hoseok's turn, and then mine,"

"But you're the addiction now," Yoongi smiled, placing his hand on your shoulder and squeezing.

"It's the first time we're doing two at once," Seokjin admitted.

"So wait, how are we meant to get into a city?" You asked. "It's overrun by vampires and the second they smell humans, it's over for us," Seokjin sighed at your question.

"You can't hide it from her, Yoongi,"

"Jin," Yoongi snapped.

"Hide what? What is it?" You squeaked, looking desperately between the two of them.

"What we are,"

You froze.

"Wh-What...what does that mean?"

"We're vampires," Yoongi grumbled.

As soon as the words escaped his lips, you shot up from your seat and backed away.

"What?!" You felt your entire body begin to tremble. "You-You're one them?! Ho-How?"

"That's a dumb question," Seokjin mumbled but clammed up at a single look from Yoongi.

He stood up, stalking over to you until you were backed into the corner. You were sure, now that you knew he was a vampire, that he could hear your heart racing.

"I'm not going to hurt you, _____," Yoongi breathed, gripping your upper arms to halt you from running.

"But you're a vampire!" You shrieked, attempting to shove him away. "Y-You've slaughtered and executed thousands--millions of humans! With no second thought about it whatsoever! How do you expect me to trust you?! How do I know you're not just going to lure me to the city to have me killed and then all your vampire friends will move in and slaughter the rest of the humans in hiding! You know where my village is!"

"I will not do anything of that nature," Yoongi explained, keeping his voice calm as can be.

"And I'm just supposed to trust you?!" You cried.

"Yes," His simple answer had you freezing, looking at him in utter confusion. "I have done nothing to hurt you or give you a reason to think I would,"

"But you're--"

"I know what I am," Yoongi sighed. "But I have absolutely no intentions of hurting you or any other human senselessly. I have no desire to,"

"How do I know you're telling the truth?" You whimpered.

"Because I haven't hurt you yet, have I?"

He was right. All his touches so far had been nothing but gentle -- touching you as if you were made of glass. He was minding his strength with you, no doubt. He hadn't even shown any sign of hunger towards your blood.

"Wh-What if you need to feed?" You sniffled, feeling tears prick your eyes.

"I don't need to,"

"What?" You shook your head. "But vampires need to feed to live. If I'm the only human then..."

"No that's wrong," Seokjin suddenly spoke up. You had forgotten he was even there. "The humans tales have been altered through fear as the time passed. Vampires don't need to drink human blood by any means. We don't have to drink blood period. We can survive on just regular human food. Fruits, vegetables, animal meats; they'll all sustain us just as they would a human,"

"Then why do vampires...kill us?" Your eyes moved back to Yoongi, who was stiff at your question.

"Self-indulgence," Yoongi mumbled.

"What?"

"Human blood is...delicious to us. It's like the best wine, the finest chocolates, it's...indescribable. It's almost like a drug. You taste it and you suddenly want more and more and more," Yoongi hissed.

"H-Have you...tasted human blood?" You squeaked.

"Yes," Yoongi admitted, making you flinch. "It wasn't particularly by choice,"

"What do you mean?"

"Sometimes," Seokjin spoke up again. "When you're in a situation where human blood is offered, you have to take it. There's only a small potion of vampires who have no desire to hurt humans, who only with to help and sympathize with them,"

"They'll kill a vampire who even tries to help a human, ______. You have to understand, we as vampires have to hide the fact we don't want to hurt you or we'll die too. So yes, I drank it but that was once. I didn't let it control me and I never will do it again. After I get off this godforsaken island I will do everything in my power to fix everything the King has done,"

His declaration left you stunned. He looked at you with such fierce passion that you couldn't find it in you to even think of doubting him. Without a second thought, you threw your arms around him in a hug. He relaxed immediately, wrapping his arms around your waist and returning your hug.

"I believe you, Yoongi," You breathed. "But,"

You pulled away and finally moved out of the corner to sit back down. Yoongi and Seokjin followed your lead and sat where they were before.

"But what?" Yoongi pressed.

"How am I going to go into a city? You can get away with it, you're a vampire but they'll know I'm human 50 yards away,"

"_____," Yoongi reached over, taking your warm hand into his ever-so-cold one. "No matter what, I will do everything in my power to protect you from those monsters.They won't lay a hand on you without going through me,"

"But--"

"Don't worry, ______," Seokjin smiled, placing his hand on top of Yoongi's over yours.

"They'll have to listen to me," Yoongi declared, the look in his eyes showing how serious he was in his declaration.

What does that mean...?

© httpjeon 2019. do not modify or repost.

[neoneversleeps]

the sun, the moon and the stars | m.tl

pairing: moon taeil x reader (hanahaki!au)

genre: angst

warnings: major character death, mentions of blood, mentions of underage drinking

description: 

She was the sun and he was the moon, and you were the stars that burned with the desire of attaining something unattainable. 

words: ~6k

notes: hey guys! this fic has been a long time coming and im so happy to have finally finished it. this is also the first time im writing angst so bare with me if its not that good. hope you enjoy it nonetheless !!

- lilac

Moon Taeil. The name was fitting, really. Every time you thought of him, you thought of the moon. You thought of the nights all those years ago where Taeil drove the both of you to the hill outside the city in his hand-me-down car in the dead of the night because you just needed to get away. How the both of you sat on the grass looking up at the moon, his hand gently resting on yours and the soft night breeze drying your tear stained cheeks. he was your shoulder to cry on in those times. A comforting presence. Much like the moon in the night sky, Taeil had become a constant in your life from the very beginning.

You remembered the time when you were young and stupid and drank way too much at some house party. How the both of you stumbled through his garden at 3am, you desperately stifling your laughter as you tried to maneuver Taeil without him falling flat on his face. He was even more of a lightweight than you. You ended up tripping over your own two feet and sending both of you crashing onto the ground. Laughter flitted from you both as you stared at the moon in the sky. Suddenly Taeil leaned up and hovered over you. You didn't even have time to think as his lips planted a kiss on yours, and you kissed back. His kiss was warm and soft, hot breath fanning against your lips in stark contrast to the cool air around you. You couldn't quite remember how you ended up falling asleep in his room that night, but you definitely remembered the morning after.

Waking up the next morning on the mattress next to Taeil's bed, you had looked at the sleeping boy with newfound hope. Hope that your pathetic little (or not so little) crush on Taeil would be reciprocated. However, when he finally woke up he had no recollection whatsoever of the night prior. Your first kiss, forgotten so easily by the boy who had held your heart in his hands for as long as you could remember. Life went on normally after that, as if nothing had changed. But something had changed, and you were terrified because of it.

You were scared, so, so scared but you pushed every thought of the dreadful disease that plagued your world to the back of your mind. You weren't in love with Taeil, right? It was just a crush. It would fade. Its wasnt love. It wasn't. It couldn't be. He was your best friend and your love for him was purely platonic. These were the word you repeated to yourself over and over in your mind, hoping that if you said them enough they would become true.

You knew, however, that you were lying to yourself. Still, repeating the mantra in your head seemed to keep the disease at bay for quite some time. There even came a time where you thought you had successfully avoided it all together.

You were wrong.

It was the day Taeil's college acceptance letter was said to arrive. You had already gotten yours and had a confirmed spot at the University you were both aiming for. You were just as nervous as Taeil about his results and were headed over to his house for moral support (and to calm your racing heart). But as you turned the corner onto the street where Taeil lived, said boy was already running towards you, a piece of paper held high in his hand, chanting “I got in! I got in! I got in!”. He reached you and immediately picked you up in his arms, swinging you around a couple times. You were taken aback at first but soon laughed with the overly happy boy. He set you down again and as you looked into his eyes, the ones that shimmered like the moon in the night sky, you just knew.

He hugged you impossibly tight and whispered in to your neck: "I'm so happy we'll get to stay together. I don't know what I would do without my best friend." And you smiled, because you knew that his words were sincere and warm but there were tears pooling in your eyes at your sealed fate. He pulled away and the smile on his face morphed into a concerned frown at your teary look. "Are you ok?" His worried eyes bored into yours. "Yes," you responded, "I'm just so proud of you." The smile he gave you after that was worth the ache you felt in your heart.

That night, the seed was planted in your lungs, and a few months later you coughed up blood for the first time. You were a goner now.

It had been almost five years since that day and somehow, you were still alive. It seemed that the universe wanted to draw out your suffering for as long as it could. Both you and Taeil were now finished with college and well into your work-life. You had decided to become a graphic designer, as it was your passion since you were young. It only provided you with some odd jobs and didn't exactly guarantee a loaded paycheck, but it made you happy and you figured, with what limited time you had left, you might as well enjoy it. You worked mainly out of the comfort of your small apartment. It wasn't much, filled with tiny fake succulents and vintage knick knacks you had collected over the years, but when the golden hour settled throughout the city, the warm light bathed the apartment in an orange glow. And at night, you could perfectly see the moon shining down at you from where you sat at your desk, distracting you from your work countless time as your mind drifted to the man who shared it’s name.

Moon Taeil. The boy you had met as just a child had now grown into a man. He had become a true virtuoso on the piano (musical instrument he had mastered in his teen years). He was sought after by many theaters and often played shows that were sold out in the blink of an eye. In addition to his musical work, he had also taken on a day job as a music professor at the Uni you both studied at. He was as happy as could be, and you were happy for him. All these years your love for him had never faltered and even though it meant bloody petals would force their way out of your throat every once in a while, you didn't regret loving Taeil. You never did. It was just so easy to love him and to you, it felt natural. No matter how much it hurt.

However this did mean it hurt unbearably to see him happy with someone else. Tanaka Michiko, a Japanese transfer who had moved to Korea 2 summers ago. Taeil fell head over heels for her, and you couldn't blame him. She was gorgeous. Her sooty black hair fell in waves just above her shoulders, soft freckles dotted around her nose, a permanent dazzling smile on her face and honey skin which was warm to the touch.

His face brightened every time he would talk about her to you, about how much he wanted her to be his. Hours he had spent telling you about every detail that defined her as his head rested on your lap, your fingers combing through his tresses. From the way she talked, a cute accent highlighting every word that left her mouth, to the way her nose crinkled when she laughed. With every miniscule particularity you had learned about the girl, you were sure you could draw her from scratch in your mind.

So, finally, one night you had smiled at him and with a heavy heart and petals scratching at the insides of your lungs, and told him to go after her.

He chased after her for some time, but it wasn't long before she too fell for his charms. How could she not? Taeil was the perfect man. Handsome, thoughtful, kind, talented. It was impossible not to fall for the guy. A few months passed before they were official, and Taeil had proudly introduced her to you. You felt that you should hate her. Hate her for taking Taeil away from you, taking up his time, for having that which you have always hoped for. But you found that you just couldn't. Because she was sweet and understanding and kind and most importantly, she was good to Taeil.

You could see how much love she held for him in the way her eyes lingered on his face every time he smiled. You'd know that look anywhere. It's the same one with which you looked at him. When the two of them were together, it was like she was the sun and he was the moon, an absolutely perfect pair. Both of them completely opposites but a faultless match nonetheless. When you sat facing them in yours and Taeil's favorite diner, you felt as though you were the stars looking onto their love, but never getting to touch or feel the love you so desired for yourself. Always watching from a distance. Always longing for the warmth they held. But much like stars in the freezing expanse of your universe, you were left out in the cold.

Two years had passed since they first got together. Their anniversary was coming up and Taeil had begged you to help him come shopping for something special, claiming he needed your help choosing "the right one”. You had asked him what he meant on the phone but he was evasive.

Now you were being pulled through the crowded streets of Seoul by a very excited Taeil. "I've already narrowed it down to this one shop, but I just can't decide which one she would like better and I *need* your opinion." He explained through quick breaths as he moved through the huge number of people that surrounded you, all heading their separate ways. You were still very confused as to what he meant. "What do you mean, Taeil? Which wha-" you were cut off by Taeil's shout: "Here it is!". You looked up at the sign above the quaint little elegant looking shop in front of you.

The name Manon's Bijouterie was printed above the entrance, elegantly curled in a feminine looking font. Your stomach dropped to your feet. You should of seen this coming.

He was going to propose.

And of course he wanted his best friend to help him choose the perfect ring. You gulped and looked up at the man beside you, a sheepish grin on his face. "You sure you ready to pop the question?" You asked him, trying to keep your voice a teasing tone, despite the shakiness hidden underneath. He laughed nervously but answered determined nonetheless. "I'm sure." He smiled at you, genuinely happy. You couldn't help but smile back, surprised at the fact that it was genuine as well. Then again, all you ever wanted was for Taeil to be happy, and he was, so by default, you were happy too.

The two of you spent the next hour and a half deciding on a ring. He ended up buying a small and delicate silver ring with a beautiful golden shimmering quartz stone. "It reminded me of her warmth." He had told you, a warm smile spread across his face. "You know, kinda like she's the sun and I'm the moon". He giggled slightly at his confession. “It’s silly i know.” You felt unable to respond in any way, instead resorting to chuckling bitterly at the irony of the fact that you had made that same comparison in the past. Fate really loved to rub salt in your wound. Taeil didn't notice your little change in demeanor though, he was far too immersed in thought as to how he was going to make his proposal as perfect as possible.

That night ended up with flowers once again forcing their way up your throat, scratching at your inner walls and taking drops of blood with them. Hanahaki ,as you had discovered, also had a cruel way of always choosing a flower that reminds you of your unrequited love and for the past years the petals you had coughed up had always belonged to the same flower.

The moonflower. 

    Ipomoea alba, sometimes called the tropical white morning-glory or moonflower or moon vine, is a species of night-blooming morning glory, native to tropical and subtropical regions of the New World.

“The moonflower requires full to partial sun, so it is important to find it a place where the sun's rays can easily reach it.” This particular sentence had stuck out to you as you had looked up the name of the flower during one of the first times it happened. You almost laughed at how much the universe seemed to love irony.

In all your time living with the disease you had gotten pretty desensitised to the flowers crawling up your throat. Tonight, however, you broke down in tears. And for the first time in a long time, the fear of death plagued you nightmares.

It was becoming more and more noticeable that your health was slowly deteriorating, gradually becoming worse in the months leading up to the fateful wedding. Taeil and his future wife were far too busy with preparations and their own jobs to realize there was something wrong. In fact, most of your friend group were too wrapped up in their own worlds to notice either, which you were thankful for. You didn't want any questions. You had never told any living soul about your little “issue” and you promised yourself you never would. Unfortunately for you, your good friend Johnny was very perceptive.

He invited you to coffee and you had innocently accepted. How were you to know that he would end up interrogating you? "Y/N, I know there's something wrong. You've been looking really under the weather lately and I'm concerned. Also, before you say anything, know that I won't let up until you tell me." His tone was firm, one of his hands resting comfortably on yours. You loved the fact that Johnny was so caring, you truly did, but right now it was very annoying. "How many times do I have to say it? I'm fine, Johnny. I just have this cold that's been clinging on for longer than it should. That's it." You say as nonchalantly as possible,  itching to just change the topic. "Well, I don't believe you." Johnny states matter-of-factly. You roll your eyes at him. "Fine, don't believe me then, but that's all there is to it." He gave you one last disbelieving look but dropped the questions. You released a sigh of relief. However, from that point on you were careful to cover up the paleness of your skin whenever you were around Johnny, aware that he still had his suspicions.

Time had a habit of slipping through your fingers. In seemingly only the blink of an eye it was the night of the rehearsal dinner. You talked with some of the guests and greeted Taeil's parents, admiring the beautiful beachside location the couple had chosen for their ceremony. The venue had a breathtaking view of the ocean, full moon standing tall in the night sky and perfectly visible from the small balcony where guests mingled throughout the evening.

You had started to wear heavier makeup to hide the bags under your eyes, the paleness of your skin and the hollowing of your cheeks. You gave your speech perfectly and had the whole audience, including Taeil, tearing up at your emotional words. You were so numb to the pain in your chest by now that delivering the speech was an easy feat.

That night, as you laid in the bed of the hotel room close to the venue that Taeil had rented for you so you wouldn't have to drive back to your apartment in the night , you looked out at the sky through the huge balcony windows. The same full moon from earlier looking down at you. The moon had caused you so much pain over the years, serving as a constant reminder of the boy whose heart would never be yours. Yet somehow, even after all the suffering, the moon still brought you comfort. Still reminded you of those many nights where you and Taeil gazed up at it's beauty, all your hardships and concerns being swept away by the wind. You smiled at the memory and, somehow, you felt at peace.

There were no flowers that night.

The next day was strangely enough one of the happiest days of your life. You had expected to be close to bursting out into miserable tears every second or to be so numb to everything around you that you wouldn't be able to utter a single word but instead, you found yourself waking up with a weight having been lifted off your shoulders. The whole day you were filled with a sense of happiness.

You sat in the prep room with Michiko, talking and laughing about all kinds of things together with the other bridesmaids. You even told them childhood stories about you and Taeil, something that would normally bring back painful memories. You told them about the times the two of you had secretly snuck out candy from your local convenience store or how you would always prank Taeils older sister on april fools day each year. You even recounted some drunken Taeil tales that had Michiko clutching her stomach in laughter, her makeup artist desperately trying to keep her still as she tried to do her job.

Shortly before the ceremony was set to start, you had located Taeil's fitting room, rasping your knuckles lightly against the door before he uttered a "come in!". You slipped inside the room. Taeil was standing in front of the mirror, nervously arranging his bowtie with a thin sheen of sweat covering his forehead. He looked handsome. In that moment you thought back to the scrawny Taeil you had grown up with. You were so proud of how far he'd come.

Picking up a napkin, you went up to him, turning his body so he would face you. You lightly tapped the napkin against his forehead to remove the droplets of sweat before moving to perfectly set his bowtie. Taeil sighed and smiled at you. "What would I do without you?" "Crash and burn, probably." The both of you chuckled. Taeil looked nervous so you laid a hand on his shoulder as you spoke to him. "Taeil, you're an amazing person and you deserve all the happiness in the world. You both do. And I know you're going to be the best husband ever." He seemed to want to retaliate but you didn't let him. "You can do this. Deep breaths.This is just like playing a sonata in front of a bunch of people. You've done that loads of times." "Yeah but this time I'm not playing the piano. And as far as I know a sonata does not require a lifelong commitment." You gave him a pointed look. "You know what I meant." He smiled at the look on your face and took a breath. "You're right. I can do this." He hugged you before you stepped back out of the room.

"Go get em tiger."

That day you walked the aisle, not as a bride (as you had many times imagined) but as a bridesmaid, and yet, the smile you wore was still blindingly bright. It was like the happiness that filled Taeil on this day was within you too. You found it weird, of course, but there was no itch in your throat and no ache in your heart so you were content.

Everything went smoothly and after the ceremony and the cake-cutting, the real festivities started. You danced with God knows how many people that night and drank quite a few cocktails. You were pretty sure you had danced with Taeil as well at some point. You still faintly recalled seeing his face in front of you as he moved rather dorkily to the music. Your own laughter rang in your ears. It felt as if you were on cloud nine.

Little did you know, that you would soon plummet from said cloud very quickly and very painfully.

**

You were growing tired and Johnny had offered to walk you down to your hotel room.

That's when it happened.

It was like everything hit you at once. There was a pang in your chest as every ounce of heartbreak you had felt came crashing into you, the pain making you cripple over. You could barely hear Johnny's concerned words over the ringing in your ears, could barely feel his hands trying to hold you steady as every moment of rejection you had ever had played in front of your eyes like a broken record. Suddenly, your throat seared with a burning heat and you were throwing up more flowers than you ever had, the white petals contrasting with the angry red of your blood as they lay on the ground in front of you. The world around you was muffled. You could hear someone's frantic shouting and footsteps but it was distorted, could see flashing lights in your peripheral but everything was spinning. Soon enough, your vision faded to black as you collapsed onto the floor.

You woke up to the beeping of a machine. Slowly trying to open your eyes, you were met with a bright white ceiling and pale blue walls, a window with the curtains only half shut, letting in enough sunlight to let you know it was daytime. You turned your head to the side. A heart monitor. That confirmed the fact that you were, indeed, in a hospital. Your throat still burned slightly, a bitter aftertaste of blood in your mouth.

The door opened carefully and a nurse’s head popped in. "Oh, you're awake!" She spoke chirpily as she met your eyes. "Your friends will be happy to hear that. I'll go let them know as soon as I take your vitals. Is that ok?" You nodded, afraid that if you opened your mouth to speak, a river of flowers and blood would spill out. Her gaze met yours a couple of times as she took your vitals. She always smiled at you, but there was an underlying sadness behind it, maybe sympathy or pity. You couldn't blame her, you were in a pretty pitiful situation.

She left the room and soon after, Johnny appeared before you. "Hey you." He smiled, trying to sound as happy as he was normally, probably to make you feel better. It didn't, but you were appreciative of his attempt. "Johnny." You croaked out and his eyes flitted to yours.

"What happened?"

Johnny explained that he had called the ambulance as soon as he saw the petals and that Taeil had come running frantically as he got wind of the situation.The ambulance had promptly  arrived near the chapel and he guessed that most of the guests knew by now. Taeil and Michiko were both here at the hospital all night, same as Johnny. They had only stepped out half an hour ago to get a late breakfast.

You frowned. You felt bad for ruining your best friend's wedding, one of the most important events in his life. You were brought out of your thoughts by Johnny. "Just a cold that's been clinging on for longer than it should huh?" He quoted your words back to you and you shrugged, not really knowing what to say. You felt bad for lying to Johnny too. He let out a frustrated sigh. "How could you not tell me about this? Or anyone, for that matter? I mean, I can understand that you wouldn't want to tell me, maybe we aren't close like that.” You winced at his words. “But not even your family? Not even Taeil?" You laughed bitterly at that last part, which then turned into a choked sob, tears gathering at your eyes. "Oh God. It's Taeil isn't it?" Johnny whispered in realization. Then you burst into tears. Too much. This was all too much. Sobs wracked through you as Johnny held you, softly patting your hair as he whispered sweet nothings to you.

You calmed down after a few minutes, just in time for the doctor to walk into the room. "Good morning." He greeted the both of you. "I have a few things to discuss with the patient.” He glanced at Johnny. “Normally only family members are allowed to be present but if you want your friend to stay I can allow it." You squeezed Johnny's hand as you turned to talk to him. "You wouldn't mind if I spoke privately with the doctor, would you?" Johnny gave you a reassuring smile as he squeezed your hand back. "Of course not". He gave you a kind smile once again, nodded politely at the doctor and left the room.

"So, miss y/l/n. According to our test, you have had this disease for nearly a decade. Am I correct?

"Yes."

"And during all these years, you were the only one with knowledge of you having this disease?"

"Yes."

"And were you aware that there was a procedure to remove the roots from your lungs?"

"Yes."

"And you knowingly chose not to have this procedure?"

"Yes."

Of course you knew about the removal. That in the early stages you could remove the roots slowly growing inside your lungs before they became too many. Was the reason to not have this removal stupid? Maybe for some people, but not for you. It might sound crazy to anyone else, but the feelings you had for Taeil were a part of you, they were woven into your soul and had, for as long as you could remember, been a part of your life. Losing those feelings would be like losing a part of yourself. Besides, the procedure removed all feelings of love towards the person in question. Wouldn't that also mean you  wouldn't even feel platonic love towards Taeil? You couldn't risk losing your friendship with him. Taeil was one of, if not the most important person in your life. You couldn't lose him. You couldn't.

The doctor sighs thoughtfully. "To be honest with you. It's a miracle you've even survived this long. Most people suffering from hanahaki die in the first two years if they do not get it removed.” He looks at you for a reaction, but you do nothing. “The fact that your body has held it off for so long is medically unprecedented. However, the disease has become so advanced that we don't even have the possibility of removal now. And the flowers inside your lungs just keep on increasing in quantity. At this rate, I'm afraid the time you have left is at best... three days." You swallowed hard at that last sentence. All these years you had known this day would come. You had prepared for it, trained yourself to not feel fear in the face of death. Yet here you were, and the thought of your life ending still absolutely terrified you.

Seeing as you didn't respond, the doctor figured you might want some time to process the information he had just loaded onto you, so he cleared his throat. "I'll leave you to-" "Is it possible that my friends not be informed of how much time I have left?" The doctor blinked a few times before he answered. "Legally, we only have the obligation to inform your family of your condition so yes, your friends do not have to receive that information. But are you sure-" You cut him off again. "I'm sure" You spoke firmly and the doctor nodded, turning to exit the room but you stopped him once more. "One last question." He turned back to face you. "Does it hurt?" You asked, voice barely above a whisper. The doctor looked at you with sympathy in his eyes. You didn't have to say it, he knew what you were referring to. "I wish I could tell you otherwise… but death by hanahaki disease makes the person suffer a great deal." You nodded at him to continue. He sighed. "The plants will build up to the point that they pierce through the tissue of the lungs, filling them with blood, which the person will then start to cough up as the lungs tear apart from within and the person will start choking as they are no longer able to breathe. The whole process can take up to a few minutes." He spoke calmly and you absorbed all the information, leaning back on your bed, not being able to avoid picturing the scenario in your head.

You told the doctor he could go so he left the room. Only a few minutes passed before Taeil entered the room. His hair was slightly tousled and the dress shirt he wore was wrinkled and untucked. He looked tired and stressed out and your heart ached at the sight. He came to sit down on the chair next to your bed, clasping his hands together and placing them on your bed before laying his head on top of them, his face not visible to you. He inhaled and exhaled deeply, as if preparing for something. Slowly he lifted his head but his gaze still wouldn't meet yours.

"Is it me? Is it because of me that you've suffered all these years?" Taeil's voice came out raw and pained, the quiet sound would have barely been heard if it wasn't for the fact that the room was deathly silent. You bit your lip, you had to tell him. Your hand moved to comb through his hair and he let you,the gesture a comfort to him as much as it was to you. You didn't quite know how to start so you just went with your gut feeling "I don't regret loving you. If I did, I would have had the roots removed but I couldn't-" "Why didn't you?" Taeil stood up abruptly, his voice suddenly much louder in volume. "Why in the hell didn't you get it removed? Why? Why? When you knew that it could kill you!" He was yelling now, tone strained and desperate and you felt hot tears gather in your eyes all over again. "I couldn't risk losing you! I've loved you my whole life Taeil!" "But I haven't. I never loved you like that and you knew it." Your heart broke at his words. It was one thing to be aware of it but another entirely to hear the words directly out of Taeil's mouth.

He raked his hands roughly through his hair in frustration. He was angry, that much was obvious. "Why couldn't you just think of yourself for once? And why did you have to be so-...so stupid as to not tell anyone? Why-" His voice gave out at the end, a sob threatening to spill from his throat. Taeil had always loved you, just not in the same way. The fact that this was the reason that you might lose you was excruciatingly painful for him. He looked over at you, saw the silent tears rolling down your hollowed cheeks and the way your formerly vibrant eyes seemed to have lost all it's color. It felt horrible to see you like that and he mentally cursed himself for not noticing sooner. For not helping. For being a terrible excuse for a best friend.

Neither of you said anything for a while until you broke the quiet. "I'm sorry..." You looked at Taeil as you said it. You were sorry. Sorry for Taeil and the fact that he was the one you fell in love with, which wasn't his fault. Sorry for your friends and family whom you had kept this a secret from all these years.

But most of all, you were sorry for yourself, for falling in love with the one boy you would never be able to have.

Taeil stepped towards you and enveloped you in hug. Unbeknownst to you, you had started crying once again. You were tired of crying by now, tired of everything, in all honesty. As Taeil held you and tried to calm you down it was like you knew that your end was close, even closer than the doctor had predicted. 

In that moment, you made a decision. 

After a few more minutes your cries had ceased. "Taeil? Could you do me a favor?" His eyes met yours as you talked. You saw anger, sadness but mostly fear swimming in his dark orbs. obrs that still shimmered like the moon in the sky, even after all these years. He nodded nonetheless. "Remember that bakery we used to go to all the time when we were in college? It had my favorite chocolate muffins ever. If I recall correctly, it's somewhere near here. Would you mind getting me one, please?" Taeil's brows scrunched up slightly at the odd request. "Please?" You added, trying hard not to sound desperate. "Of course." He said and gave you a small smile.

He stepped towards the door, opening it before glancing back at you one last time. "Should I tell the others to come in?" He asked. "No, that's ok. I'd like to get a little rest to be honest." You chuckled softly and gave him a reassuring smile. "Ok." His eyes flitted over you briefly. Clearly, he was nervous about leaving you alone. Eventually he gave a light sigh. "Well, I'll see you later then."

"Yeah, see you later Taeil."

The door clicked shut behind him and you reached for your phone. There was something you had to do. You scrolled through your notes until you found the one labeled "for my parents" which was a letter you had written a while ago in the event of your death, to say goodbye. You copied and pasted the text into an email and sent it. Then you went through your files to retrieve a video labeled as "taeil". You had recorded the video months before, on a night were you had coughed up so many flowers you had thought it would be your last. You attached the video into another email, finger hovering above the send button. You waited about twenty minutes, the itch in your throat and the ache inside your body getting worse every minute until it was almost unbearable. And as the flowers started to force themselves out, you hit send.

Taeil knew something had happened as soon as he entered the hospital wing you were stationed at. His phone buzzed in his pocket and he fished it out, looking at the notification that lit up his lock screen.

[1 new email]

from y/n

goodbye taeil

(no body)

[1 attachment] - taeil.mp4

His blood ran cold and suddenly he was running frantically to get to your room. His phone had started buzzing again. He turned the corner and his eyes met Michiko, taking notice of the tears running down her cheeks as she held her phone next to her ear. He stopped dead in his tracks, the squeaking of his shoes alerting Michiko to his presence. She slowly lowered the phone as she locked gazes with Taeil. His eyes flitted downwards as she mouthed the words “I’m so sorry.”.

It was then and there that Taeil’s world froze in place. No. No. No, no, no, no, no. This was not happening. This was not was not happening. This wasn't real. It wasn't. She couldnt be dead.

Could she?

He felt the impact of Michiko running up to him and wrapping her arms around his shoulders. Felt her nails digging into the fabric of his jean jacket as she held him tightly, desperately trying to ground him. He noticed as his tears dropped onto her shoulder, heard his heavy intakes of breaths ringing in his ear, but he felt as if he wasn't truly there.

You. The one person in his life he had taken for granted. The one person who was always, always there. A constant presence he could count on. You weren't supposed to leave. You were supposed to be there forever.  

But now,

you were gone.

And you were never coming back.

[falconineferdinand]

Queen Mary

The night was warm. But too bad Lysithea, Ferdinand, Hanneman, Kronya And Marriane would be spending their time indoors.

“Alright. I have 2 rooms available. The Duke Of Edinburgh suite, and the infamous room b340.” Said Ferdinand.

Lysithea already felt a shiver crawl down her spine. Re assuring herself that ghosts were in a fact, not real for the umpteenth time.

“So who’s staying in what?” Asked Kronya.

“Lysithea and I are staying in room b340 as it only houses 2 guests. You, Hanneman and Kronya will be in the suite as it’s much more spacious.”

Lysithea was ready to die then and there. She’d done her studying, and it just made her want to leave even more.

“Are we going to our rooms now?” Asked Hanneman.

“Let’s drop our stuff off and then explore.” Said Ferdinand.

————

Lysithea hated the room. Ever since she stepped in, a horrible feeling made its way into her stomach. Dread.

“Okay, this is horrifying.” Ferdinand agreed.

“I say we leave and never look back.”

“Hell no, I spent 2000g for this trip. Let’s get our camera and go meet the others in the lobby.”

“Fine.” Lysithea crossed her arms. Thinking about the bullshit she’d have to put up through the entire night.

There was a knock on the door.

“I though we were going to meet in the lobby?” She said.

Her heart dropped when Ferdinand opened the door to reveal no one.

“I-it could have been cleaning staff! Or a prank!” She rationalized.

“Huh. Anyway, we should get going. I have the camera and Hanneman has the night vision one.”

“This is a horrible idea. We aren’t actually going to sleep here, right???”

“Where else are we going to sleep?” Ferdinand smirked.

“A HOLIDAY INN!” Lysithea pleaded.

“No! We will come back to the room at 3 a.m. When activity is high.”

The door led out to wall, where you would turn to meet the rest of the hallway. A long hallway that seemed to stretch on forever. A maze was all Lysithea could use to describe the place.

“Why is it so fucking cold?” She shivered.

“I heard that when ghosts are nearby, the temperature drops.” Ferdinand Stated.

“I hate you with every fiber of my very being!”

“That’s not a lot of fiber.”

“Motherfu-” She was cut off as Ferdinand froze.

“What the hell is it now?”

“I just read a really scary one.”

“What?”

Ferdinand had a piece of paper in his hands, gesturing to it.

“What is that?”

“It’s a list off all the things people have experienced in our room.”

“Fucking wonderful.”

“Do you want to know what it said?”

“No.”

“One man woke to the sight of a man sitting in the chair next to his bed. He said it felt as though it had been watching him sleep the entire time.” Ferdinand quoted.

“I’m not sleeping in there Ferdinand.”

“We’ll see.”

The two of them continued walking down the hallway until they were met with the elevator.

“You know, we could play the elevator ga-”

“NO!” Lysithea cut him off.

“Okay damn. Let’s just meet the others.”

——

They finally arrived at the lobby where Hanneman had a camera around his neck, Marriane fidgeting and Kronya looking bored as fuck.

“Ah, Ferdinand. Any strange ocurances yet?” The elderly man asked.

“Actually yes. There was a knock on our door. Nobody was out there though.”

“It could’ve just been a prank! A very cruel, sick prank!” Lysithea cut in.

“Our lights flickered off for a moment.” Kronya Said as though it was nothing new.

“This place gives me weird vibes.” Marriane looked around, as though she was hoping for something to prove her wrong.

“So what’s the plan?” Asked Kronya.

“Alright, we head to the isolation bay and take some pictures, then to the boiler room, explore, take some more pics and head back to our respected rooms where we’ll document what happens. Sound good?”

They all agreed, save for Lysithea who wanted to drop dead.

“Ferdinand please, can we go?” Lysithea pleaded.

“Lysithea I swear to Sothis if you ask to leave again I’ll strand you in our room for the whole damn night!”

“But it’s scary here!”

“C’mon! The groups already making their way to the isolation bay!” Ferdinand grabbed the younger girl’s hand and dragged her to their group while a string of curses and threats left her mouth.

As they made their way towards their destination, a faint high pitched noise was heard.

They all froze.

“What the fuck was that?” Ferdinand asked.

“Ew!” Marriane said to the noise.

“Sounded like a woman screaming.”

“Hmm, fascinating.”

“NOPE IM READY TO GO!” Lysithea did a 360 turn and was preparing to run away before Ferdinand grabbed her and made her walk with them.

They finnaly reached the Isolation Ward. A set of stairs that descended downwards greeted them.

“They kept the sick here?” Marriane asked. Ferdinand nodded as he took pictures.

“Ferdinand, look.” Hanneman showed a picture he took with a small transparent circle in the framed. Zooming in on it.

“A speck of dust? Really?” Lysithea Said.

“Nope, that’s an orb for sure.” Marriane Stated.

“Fuck me.” Lysithea muttered as she entered a room. It was dark and had two white bunk beds. They were just colored wood, no mattress or sheets or anything really.

“I hate this. I hate this. I hate this. I hate this.” She muttered.

“Boo.” Ferdinand Said. She shrieked before kicking him.

“Asshole!”

“Hanneman gave me a tape recorder. I was going to put it in here and see what happens.”

Lysithea looked at the bottom bunk and to the narrow door.

“I want to lay on the bottom bunk and see what happens.”

Ferdinand raised a brow.

“That’s out of character for you. If you really want to, we’ll stand at the corner and wait for you.” Ferdinand suggested. Lysithea nodded. He left the room.

It took her minute to realize what she was doing.

“Ghost aren’t real.” She muttered before laying down. It was quiet. Unsettling quiet. And heavy footsteps sounded from outside, she thought it was Ferdinand and the others.

“Can you guys be quiet?” She said.

“Uh, sure?” Marriane responded.

It must have been a few minutes before Lysithea got up and and returned to the group.

“How was it?” Asked Kronya.

“Weird. It felt really sad in there, but like, non threatening too? It was hard to hear any noises as you idiots were being so loud with your footsteps!”

The group looked at each other.

“Lysithea, we weren’t moving. And we didn’t hear any footsteps.” Explained Hanneman.

“But you guys were the only ones out there! Who else could it have been?”

Their faces gave the answer she needed. Her face paled.

“You’re fucking with me right? There is no way those footsteps were made by a ghost!”

“You saw the plaque. Over 56 named deaths. It’s a possibility.” Ferdinand shrugged.

“I hate this so much. Why did I ever agree to you?”

Ferdinand gave a shit eating grin.

“I don’t know, but I’m sure glad you did.”

Lysithea glared at him.

——

They were now under water as they walked through the engine room. Many mechanical parts of the ship were able to be seen.

“It’s really stuffy down here.” Sniffed Marriane.

Hanneman freezed.

“Hanneman? What’s wrong?” Asked Ferdinand.

“I believe this is it.”

Hanneman stood under a white doorway, curved and a bit wide.

“Door 13.” Stated Kronya.

��Why must the number be 13?” Lysithea Complained.

“Allegedly, 2 firemen were crushed to death under this doo-” Hanneman was cut off by a thud from up ahead.

“....What the hell was that?” Ferdinand spoke in a shaky voice.

“Ew.” Marriane Said.

“I wanna go home and I wanna play Minecraft and forget this ever happened!”

Hanneman cleared his throat and walked away from under the door.

“It’s like, really cold under here.” Kronya Said.

“Should we do the tape recorder?”

Hanneman nodded.

“Okay, so speak loudly and don’t whisper. We’ll each ask a question.”

“If this works I’m going to lose my shit, Ferdinand.” Lysithea spoke.

“Everybody shut up!” Ferdinand held the recorder in his hands and pressed play.

“Is anyone there?” Marriane projected her voice. They waited a solid 30 seconds before continuing.

“Do you know my name?” Asked Ferdinand. Another 30 seconds went by.

“Say something.” Lysithea half whispered it. Praying to Sothis there wouldn’t be a response.

The noble ended it.

“I’m ready to head back to our rooms.” Kronya yawned.

“Let’s go check out our room and see if anything is wrong with it.” Ferdinand suggested.

———

B340 was horrible. It was below sea level and had only recently re opened to the public. To make it worse, there was a box which contained some spiritual things that Lysithea and Ferdinand put away.

They put it under the bed.

And now it’s on the table.

“I didn’t fucking move that. I swear in Sothis’ name I didn’t move that.” Ferdinand stood by the entrance to B340.

“Did you guys leave the lights on?” Asked Marriane. Lysithea nodded her head furiously.

“This isn’t funny anymore Ferdinand. I’ve had to put up with enough of your bullshit but this isn’t funny!”

“I swear I wouldn’t fuck with you like that. I-I-I’m shaking, look at me.” Ferdinand extended his hands to show them unsteady and wobbly. Tonight was only the beginning of their troubles.

@lysithealag @mariannejane @crayola-kronya @hannemanshash

TBC

[dreamscript]

the seven deadly sins: gula

gula is the sin of an insatiable appetite, a never-ending hunger; it is the sin of gluttony.

He is so peculiar and otherwordly you don’t see the danger and death that follow him until it’s a little too late.

   ➟  seokjin x reader

   ➟ supernatural au

chapter directory || next ⤖

The city is so bright. He doesn't think he's ever seen the likes of this in awhile, especially after spending so long in the dark. Souls, in an array of bright white-blue hues, flicker and twitch with every wince, smile, and emotional spike. Buildings lights, traffic lights, car lights, even the faces of some watches, all burn and glow with varied intensity. It's actually nearly so blinding that he's beginning to see the usefulness of sunglasses beyond simply disguising the face.

Seokjin shoves his hands deeper into his trench coat pockets, then takes them out again to carefully adjust the scarf wound around his neck. Puffs of white breath escape from his lips as he wonders how the human world can be so fickle; in this strange land it changes from light to dark and hot to cold in mere hours, sometimes remaining the same but most of the times changing without a clear, discernable pattern. A part of him speculates that perhaps this may also be reflecting the nature of mankind, who live such short lives and spend their days doing such odd things.

“Seokjin,” you murmur, face hidden under a layer of scarves. “How long had you been in there?”

He gives you a sideways glance before breaking into a wide smile. “A long time, is all I know. It doesn’t matter now, I’m beginning to forget it all from finally being outside!”

Orange lamplights from overhead flicker on, adding to the evening glow as the sun disappears behind the city skyline. He's vaguely conscious of the fact that he does not cast a shadow, but remains assured that in a city as crowded as this, such a fact will remain largely unnoticed. The few that may take note of it--though he may not think the best of their race, he does have to give some credit to the observational skills of some humans--are likely to simply write it off as a trick of the light. People are inclined to rationalize what cannot be rationalized. And he likes it that way.

“Where are you going? Are you just going to--leave, now? Or find the friends you were talking about?” He walks incredibly fast, so you find yourself hurrying to catch up with him.

“Hmm…” He taps his chin in mock thinking. “Dunno. Why does it matter? I’ll just go wherever there’s good food. My friends’ll probably know I’m already here, but I don’t care about them. Since you know me, you’ll probably get to know them, sooner or later.”

“Are you saying you’ll introduce me?”

Seokjin makes an irritated expression. “No, they’ll introduce themselves, maybe. I don’t know. Again, I don’t really care about them.” He pauses and he listens to the thrum of your heartbeat. It’s oddly calming. But your soul... he shudders. “Anyways, do you mind leaving? You did me a huge favor, so in response I’m not going to eat… ah… go eat with you.”

“Huh?” you reply, confused. “That’s kinda rude, you know. And also it makes no sense. What do you mean you don’t care about your friends? And I never said anything about eating? Don’t I at least deserve an explanation?”

He pushes onwards so you grab onto his sleeve, fingers brushing his skin. Seokjin startles and turns around, licks his lips. He studies you once more, carefully, running his tongue along the insides of his cheeks. You stare at him with a determined look in your eyes, so he leans in ever closer. God, the thrum of your heartbeat and your body heat was almost delectable. He feels saliva rush into his mouth but he isn’t hungering for your soul... Quickly, he turns around and shakes you off.

“Hey!” you protest, reaching out for him again, but he’s already slipping between your fingers. “Tell me what you mean!”

He turns around and gives you a wry smile, and for the first time you notice that his teeth are actually sharp and pointy, like a shark’s.

“No,” he says. “But you’ll probably figure it out anyways, just not now. You’re special. I don’t think anyone’s been able to break a seal like that for a long time.” 

And with that, he disappears, leaving you confused and flabbergasted, swallowed up by the evening crowd. Not even a goodbye. He doesn’t think that he can manage one, anyway, with the way that his hands are tremoring and his body is aching.

                                                           <<>>

Trudging onwards and pushing through the throng of bodies, Seokjin soon makes it past the main crowd, now walking along a deserted sidewalk. It had been excruciating, fighting against his bonds. It felt as if his very being were drawn to you in the same way your curiosity had drawn you to his resting place. Your touch had burned like hot fire but made him all the more hungrier...

In any case, being away from you brings him a new peace and he can finally feel himself settling into his new body. He sucks in a deep breath of cool, crisp, untainted air--and then, suddenly, is roughly pulled into a darkened alleyway.

Even through the thick cover of the shadows, he can see the dangerous glint of a pistol in the hooded figure's hand, and through the gruff whispered demands, can hear the bloodthirsty intent.

"Money?" Seokjin says, giving a light chuckle. His hands are raised in a classic surrender. "I don't have any money on me." He does not mention that he knows someone who does--and has lots of it. Not that the Avaritia prick would share any of it, but still.

"Really now?" The hooded figure says, pressing the pistol even harder against his chest. "Then we aboutta have a real fuckin' problem here, yah hear me?"

"I agree," Seokjin says, slightly amused. "I haven't been in this city long enough to know where I could possibly hide a body. Perhaps you would be nice enough to tell me?"

"The fuck you mean?"

"Oh, nothing," he says, looking off to the side. There are no passerby, no other living beings save for the birds in their trees. "I'm just really hungry, y'know?"

Seokjin turns back to the hooded figure and smiles. Wide, wide enough to expose his teeth, and then, with a quick movement, grips their arm firmly with his hand.

They do not even have a chance to make a horrified expression.

                                                          <<>>

After spending so long observing his food, Seokjin finds that now that he's started, he is unable to stop. He knows that you’re out there, still looking for him, still looking for an explanation, but he could care less. There was something odd about your soul, something he couldn’t quite put his finger on... He dodges between shadows and follows his insatiable hunger. The city is still full of light and he cannot quite discipline himself when surrounded by such abundance.

He leans against a stranger's third-floor balcony, feeling the night breeze tousle his hair. Inside the apartment, there's a small girl who sits on a tall wooden stool by herself, looking wistfully at the laptop in front of her. Next to her is a half-empty carton of strawberries, each fruit nearly half the size of her fist and redder than the blood that runs through her veins... Not that he's really interested in her flesh; that would be more of a Luxuria thing, with the way the guy practically worships the human physical makeup. Seokjin's more about what lies beyond the superficial.

He steps forward, reaches out a hand, and then slips in easily--almost too easily--through the windowed door, loving the lack of anti-demonic barriers, enjoying how the acid he excretes simply eats away the glass, melting it away in a process that is just as quiet as it is effective. The girl does not stir, her eyes glued to the screen, not a single indication that she is aware of his presence.

Slowly, deliberately, he reaches out, placing his hands on her shoulders, taking time to rest finger by finger atop her blue cotton shirt. She freezes but does not scream; every muscle in her body has been paralyzed upon contact. He smiles again, wide, his teeth now slowly elongating and deviating from the standard flat, squarish shape of mankind; they transform into long, sharp, piercing canines.

"Hey," he says, voice now transforming to a much deeper baritone, lips just barely containing the deluge of saliva in his mouth. Her back remains turned to him and he wonders just how she would act if she were not paralyzed. Her soul quivers and shakes violently, so deliciously, its lovely deep blue hue pulsating with fear and hysteria. He takes a moment to breathe in the delightful aroma of her soul before continuing with his sentence.

"Give me your soul--”

“SEOKJIN!”

He whirls around fast enough to see you screaming and panting through the entrance he’d just created.

a/n: if you think i have no idea what im actually doing and this seems like a mess, then you’re absolutely right fuck sos

[kpopchangedme]

Capture the Flag: The Trade

Two teams, a lot of snow & a simple common goal. The only problem is that you’re on a losing streak and Jaebum, your nemesis, is way too good at this game...

GOT7 Masterlist

Protagonists: Im Jaebum & you

Word Count: 3.6k

Genre: SFW - Fluff - Enemies to Lovers - Highschool!AU - Inspiré par La Guerre Des Tuques

Lys’ note: Part of my VDay’ Collab for the @kpoptrashnetwork! Read @greasygyeom Yugyeom’s One Shot Capture The Flag: The Absconding!

In the middle of the white field of snow stands your old friend, Youngjae. His face is scrunched, whipped by the cold wind of the winter, if there were price to pay for not choosing a side it’d be that one; freezing to death. There’s absolutely no shelter from the bad weather in the neutral zone, the small flat ground separating the two enemy bases. Youngjae is still waiting to talk, trying to gather the attention of everybody across the playground, even though he’ll fail like always. You wiggle expectedly from one foot to the other, partly to not let your toes freeze, but also because you’re especially anxious today.

Nobody really knows how this all started, only that it’s been a school tradition between students for years; two teams, two elected Captains, a referee, a list of rules and two flags. Both teams spend weeks of winter building a snow stronghold, working on their strategies and praying for the weather to be on their side. Then comes the final week of the game; four evenings after school without adult supervision where the two teams face off with everything they’ve got.

“Captain Im is still staring at you, y/n.” Mark leans closer, nudging you with his elbow. “Try to not move around so much, perhaps he won’t notice how nervous you–”

“It’s freaking -15ºC, Tuan. Maybe if you thought harder about your strategies instead of studying where Jaebum is looking, you’d be able to beat Jinyoung at it for once!”

“Ouch, I’m hurt.” Mark touches his coat where his heart hides under, chuckling. “I don’t think my strategies are what’s causing our losing streak you know… I’m starting to believe your heart isn’t really in it!”

Gasping at the implication, you feel your cheeks heat behind the secrecy of your scarf. “Shut up!” You scowl and Mark laughs, only amused by your perpetual anger. He’s been bringing this up a lot these days, always teasing you about your rival. “As if, Jaebum’s the enemy and he’s an assh–”

“No fight within the teams!” Youngjae points to you both, raising his voice so everybody can hear. Your eyes catch a smile on Jaebum’s face at the other side of the playground and you curse him under your breath.

Today is the day you win; you’ll wipe that smug off his perfect face.

Im Jaebum. Your nemesis, the Captain of the Blue team. If he were Achilles, you’d be Hector and tonight; the battle of your life.

“Is everybody already here?” Youngjae clears his throat and both teams purposefully ignore him as always. “Great! Before beginning, let me remind you all one last time; no weapons are allowed on site!” There’s a collective groan from the two small crowds. “No fireworks this time! Snow and your open hands are your only tools, did you hear me Bambam?!” Youngjae sighs, discouraged. “That being said; we’ll proceed as always. You have to wear your hat from your team’s colour at all time! Each team will go back to its castle and its flag and you’ll only be allowed to leave when you hear my siren... If I see somebody trying to cross the neutral zone bef–”

“We get it! Everyday’s the same!”

“Thanks for the unnecessary intervention Jackson, but there’s no interrupting the referee!” Youngjae shakes his head, like his role is unbearable and you roll your eyes at his lack of authority. “Anyway, after the siren, you are free to leave your castle to invade the other team’s. The first team to successfully secure the other’s flag and bring it back to its own castle wins the battle! For the last fight of the year, the score is…” Youngjae pauses dramatically and you clench your teeth, annoyed. “3 – 0 for the Blue Team!”

There’s an uproar on the enemy’s side of the field while Red team stays quiet behind you. You stare at Jaebum’s silhouette as he proudly raises both arms under a thunder of claps, muffled by mittens. Show-off.

“Red team”, you growl, “I don’t care what it takes to defeat those jerks. Tonight, they’ll see RED!” There’s a loud racket of approval accompanying your words. Your teammates even begin to energetically jump, the sound of their boots on the solid snow reverberating through the air. Across the field, the smug on Jaebum’s lips straightens, usual arrogance cooled a bit by the high spirits of your troops. That’s right Im, you’d better prepare for a damn war. Your lips curl upwards, a new confidence warming your body; Red team would never go down without a mighty fight.

You barely avoid a chunk of ice flying near you by rolling on the ground and let out an angry hiss through your clench teeth. Ice is supposed to be prohibited, but amid a fight with snow flying all over the place, it’s hard to prove the throw was voluntary. Plus, you’re attacking the north facade of the Blue’s snow fort and Youngjae is monitoring the neutral zone where most people usually fight, which is south from here. The north facade isn’t usually guarded since it’s near the end of the playground, on the outskirts of the woods, and all entries to the Blue stronghold are facing the neutral zone. Still, a few enemies followed your troop there, probably suspicious you were on a special mission or something. They are right, but it’s part of Mark’s scheme. Around you, boys from all ages are fighting, pushing and throwing; your teammates are doing a great job creating a diversion.

The enemies don’t even give you a second glance; the girl attempting to climb the 7 feet ice wall. You usually go unnoticed, that’s partly why you were chosen for the special mission. In an almost all boys’ competition, you’d think they would give the only two girls playing a little attention, but they ignore you both and let you do what you want. Except Jaebum, that jerk is always picking a fight with you. For once, he’s probably fighting someone else at your own castle at this very moment.

As for the only other girl, she’s from Blue Team and a complete mystery to you. She’s a real danger though, they say she has a mind of her own and is a total badass. So far today, she’s nowhere to be seen, it’s worrisome but you can’t think about her. Right now, all your efforts are put in the endeavor that is the escalade of the ridiculously high fortification of the Blue fort. Seriously, how did they even successfully build that thing? No wonder the Red haven’t got a single win yet! Their stronghold is almost impenetrable this year. Jinyoung, their strategist, probably worked on the plans all Fall, he’s way too invested in the game, even more than you or Jaebum. The climb would be a nearly impossible challenge for anyone else, that’s why their walls aren’t guarded, but you aren’t anyone. Only Mark knew you spent all your summers climbing mountains all over the country with your father. That’s the other reason why you were chosen for the invasion today, put your skills to good use.

When you finally reach the edge of the fort, you throw both legs inside, not bothering to look to see if there’s an opponent. Down on the ground of the Blue’s castle, you lower your scarf under your chin to make your breathing easier and recover. You’re already all wet from the physical effort. There’s three openings in the huge fort, but they’re heavily guarded. They’ve been keeping the same defense strategy all week; four guys by each door while every other player is on the field. The whole point of your mission is to sneak in without a physical fight, Red has been failing all aggressive invading attempts these past days. You reach the center of the fort without any encounters, just like Mark predicted, the enemies are all out attacking your own castle.

You must hurry to grab their flag and go back before they succeed in stealing yours. You believe in your teammates back at the fort, but they can only push the Blue invaders back for so long before someone slips in and catch it. Mark is with most of your team, taking care of the defense of your Red banner. While Jaebum team’s usually opting for many strong attacks, yours voted for a defensive strategy with a single attacking troop for the last game; you and the diversion guys causing chaos outside. Tonight, things are looking great, the hard part is done, you’re now in the center of the rival stronghold, completely alone. Getting out with the banner will be easy since they won’t be expecting the enemy to come from inside their castle.

Wait a second, where’s the Blue flag? You freeze, looking at the empty lonely pole in the middle of the circular ice room. It’s not here. The flag is to never leave its original fort expect for the capture, it’s one of the rules! There’s no way someone from your team already stole it, the plan–

“Not on the defense duty today?” A boy you hadn’t spotted earlier walks out of one of the corridor in front of you, leisurely, almost teasing. He’s around 16 years old with sharp eyes and wears a blue hat pushed so far down you can barely see his eyebrows.

“Jaebum”, you groan, irritated. “Looks like we actually switched roles.” He nods, taking a step to the right and you mirror him. You’re both used to meeting like this, since Jaebum’s his own strongest attacker while you usually assume the defense of your flag. The situation appears to be reversed for the last game, maybe it’s something like faith. You’re destined to fight each other, only tonight; you’ll win. Find his weakness – Achilles heel – make sure his arrogance is his own undoing.

“Well”, he cocks his head contemptuously and you just know he’s smirking under his scarf, “I’m glad, I was a bit sad when I thought about not seeing your pretty face today…”

“Shut up”, you’re both slowly tracing circles in the room, walking around the pole in the center. “Where’s the flag, dickhead?” Jaebum laughs at your insult, the sound making your skin crawl.

“Dickhead? Tst!” He takes a step forward and you back up by reflex, colliding with the ice wall. “The flag hasn’t leave my fort –” Jaebum throws his hands to the sides, gesturing the whole empty place. “You know I love to live by the rules…”

Grimacing, you study him anew; he’s wearing a simple black coat with snow pants of the same color and a scarf is covering most of his face. There’s only one place he would hide it; under his clothes. It’s nothing new, the Blue Team used that technique very often last year, back when Chansung was still in school and their elected chief.

“I guess I’ll have to come get it then.” Jaebum frowns at your confidence, uncertainty passing on his features for the second time today.

“I know you, y/n! You wouldn’t da–” He never gets to finish this sentence, because in no time, you’re jumping on him. The boy lets out a muffled grunt when the air is expelled out of his lungs and you both fall on the cold ground. “Are you nuts?”

Right now, you don’t care what it looks like. The Red team needs a win, you won’t go down in school’s history as the first female Captain with absolutely no win for your first winter. You’re sitting on top of him, trying to shove his zipper down while Jaebum’s wiggling, panicking under you. His reaction’s off; if he hid it under his coat, he should have expected somebody would try to steal it. The struggle is draining; there’s nothing quite as exhausting as wrestling in snowsuits. You’re almost thankful when Jaebum shifts his weight to flip you both and cages you between his knees.

“God, you’re heavy!” He fails to avoid your elbow flying to his head and you accidentally shove his scarf down, uncovering his face. “Hey! That’s an illega– humpf” Jaebum winces when your fist finds his stomach, although the hit is mostly absorbed by his layers of clothing.

“I’m not heavy, you asshole!” You’re about to hit him again, but he grabs both of your hands, pining them above your head.

“I know you want a win...” Jaebum pants, tired from the struggle. “But if you hit me again, girl… I swear, I won’t hold b–”

Without warning, you jump, pushing your hips away from the ground and trying to make him fall off you. You successfully destabilize him, but instead of using the opportunity to wiggle away, you’re completely frozen still. Jaebum may not have been expecting your hip thrust, but you definitely weren’t expecting his sudden proximity. To keep the upper hand and his balance, he lowered himself on you. He’s so close that you can feel his breath on your cheek and see every single one of his dark eyelashes perfectly.

“What are you doing?” You wiggle, uncomfortable and trying to free your hands from his. If he were a gentleman, he’d let you go, but instead he holds the position, staring at you with his eyelids lazily half closed.

“Holding you down with my body.” His voice is hushed, so low it feels like he’s telling a secret. “Enjoy every second of this honey, you made me do it.” Your original confusion turns to anger at the pet name and you glare at him threateningly.

“Get off!” For a second, you still and he hesitates, seemingly pondering.

“I thought you wanted my flag.” Jaebum chuckles and hot air brushes your face. Despite yourself and the freezing weather, you shudder treacherously, body catching fire and cheeks tinting red.

“Well, there’s no way you’re giving me that…” You hate yourself for it, but when you murmur, without really meaning to, you glance at his mouth.

You’ve never been this close to a boy, let alone actually kiss one. Even if you’re fighting, this feels somewhat intimate. Jaebum lips seem so close, soft and intriguing. Blushing, you blink, trying to erase your thoughts and he shifts his weight, pressing you down on the cold ground even more. Jaebum exhales slowly, taking a moment to look around the empty room like he’s searching for somebody.

You can hear the screams mixed with laugher from the game raging on outside the fort. It’s only a question of time before one of his teammates comes in and finds you both like that. It’d be horribly humiliating, people would misread the whole situation. Jaebum has quite a heartbreaker reputation in school, he’d brush it off and laugh, but you couldn’t. You’re the one who’s the best at everything she tries, the one who intimidates the boys, you’re the first girl to be elected Captain of the Red Team; you don’t lose to anyone. Not even freaking Im Jaebum. That’s why this week of games has been hellish and you’re probably just losing your mind because of this arrogant jerk.

“I-I don’t know... I might.” When Jaebum looks back at you, you stop breathing.

“W-what?” You gulp and he chuckles again, glancing at your parted lips.

“We both have something the other wants”, he clears his throat, taking a more formal tone, “I’m proposing a secret trade.” You raise a brow with skepticism; you have absolutely nothing that Jaebum would need. “Captain to Captain.” He adds, lips curling upwards.

“Anything.” You breathe out and his expression flickers between shock and incredibility for a moment. He hadn’t realized you’d take the deal. “I really need that flag.” You need more than the Blue flag; you need to bring it back to your fort too. You need the Red Team to score one point, just one. Blue Team would still win this year’s games, but Red’s reputation would be saved. Now it’s a question of honor.

“Anything?” There’s a new longing to his voice and you hold his gaze, anxiety and perhaps something foreign growing in your stomach. You nod slowly, barely able to move as Jaebum licks his lips and glances at yours again, eyes feverish.

Maybe you’re not the only one losing your mind.

Is Im Jaebum about to kiss me? Why would he trade something as precious as a flag for that? The school heartthrob and you; it makes absolutely no sense. It’s supposed to be Red versus Blue, not Red making out with Blue. You’re both sworn enemies, this is wrong. Mark would never let you live if he found out you had your very first kiss with the infamous Im Jaebum. Still, against all better judgement, you close your eyes, waiting for something to happen. You hope you didn’t misunderstand him, you’d looked so foolish right now. Jaebum’s breath seems to creep on your cheek forever before his lips brush yours.

Right there, on the floor of the enemy’s castle, nothing so wrong has ever felt more right.

His kiss is delicate, gentle and short. He pulls back, but you stay still, eyes shut and toes curled tight, too timid to act. Jaebum chuckles lowly before leaning into you again, this time releasing your hands to rest on his elbows more comfortably.

The second kiss quickly evolves in something else, dangerous; annihilating space and time. You move too, molding into him in response and you both seem to forget yourselves. This is why people kiss so much, you think as you begin to question reality; this sensation is both blissful and alarming. Jaebum’s lips part, tongue testing your mouth. You allow him access, without really knowing how, but craving the taste of him. He explores you as you wrap yourself tighter around him, losing it.

You want more. Your tongue finds his, gently fighting and teasing it until a sound dawns in Jaebum’s chest. It’s another new discovery, an instinctive vibration that reverberates to your bones, something rough but delightful, savage but formidable. Another wrong that’s nothing but exquisitely right. You feel him smirk his usual stupid grin in your mouth, but for once you don’t mind. You want to hear him make that sound again, want to reexperience that vibration in him on your chest, without layers of clothing between your bodies.

Unfortunately, Jaebum pulls back panting like when you wrestled earlier. Fighting in snowsuit might be arduous but making out is even harder. He sits back in awe, finally getting off and releasing you. As you stand up too, still shaken up, you find the lack of him even worse than being trapped. Avoiding your gaze, he opens his coat and reaches under his sweater. He retrieves the folded precious navy flag and hands it to you with both hands, almost ceremoniously. You blush taking it, if you weren’t wearing giant gloves, you’d probably feel the warmth of his body lingering on it.

Jaebum clears his throat. “Remember that the trade must absolutely stay secret.” His words, spoken candidly, almost knock the air out of your chest. Of course, he’s ashamed he kissed you, he’s Jaebum and you’re y/n! Still, he’s the one who initiated the trade; the flag for a kiss. It wasn’t your idea.

“You think I’d boast about making a pact with the Devil? Trading a kiss for a win?” His face falls and he narrows his eyes. Already, you’re regretting your words. You don’t know much to relationships, but you’re pretty sure you shouldn’t let something fake, like this whole competition, taint something that felt as real as that kiss.

“Wow, who’s acting like an asshole now?” Jaebum frowns and you open your mouth to apologize, but he goes on: “I just meant that we’d get into trouble if people found out. Youngjae might not be a scary arbiter, but I assure you Jinyoung is terrifying. He’d never leave me alone if he knew I gave you this.”

“I’m sorry…” You nod, thinking about Mark and the rest of your Red teammates. They didn’t elect you Captain to make out with the enemy. You blush, embarrassed by your actions.

“But since you brought it up, we haven’t determined clearly what I get from this trade…” He closes the space between you, pushing until you’re trapped between the ice wall and his body. “You say I’m the Devil…”  You swallow when he leans in slowly, chills spreading on your whole body but not from the cold. He licks his lips again and you shut your eyes, expecting him to kiss you. Instead, Jaebum wet lips brush your ear, right where your red hat ends, and he blows softly, making you shiver. “Then I’ll be back to claim your soul next time.”

Your eyes shot open when he bursts out laughing, backing away. You smile, watching his eyes crease cutely. You get his reputation now; the Captain of Blue Team is deliciously handsome when he’s smiling and not being a jerk. After all, even Achilles was famous for his charming ways. A sudden profusion of loud screams outside catch your attention back and Jaebum groans, annoyed. Seems like your diversion is still ongoing.

“I believe that’s your cue; shouldn’t you make a run for it?”

You nod, looking around to plan your getaway. You’re conscious the deal was to give you the flag – not to ease your escape – but still, he points to one of the three ice corridors leading to an exit. You don’t even hesitate for second before deciding on this route, choosing to trust your occasional sworn enemy. You smile at Jaebum one last time, finally turning away and running to flee his fort. You just know you’re going to grin all the way to the Red Team’s ice fortress.

Perhaps you really traded your soul for a win after all.

GOT7 Masterlist

[zoemurph]

to have a friend, chapter eight: $192

on ao3 1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

holy shit do NOT expect updates from me this fast after november ends!!!!! i'm frantically doing nano as fast as possible and i am MAJORLY fucking myself over. after this is posted i'm writing 4 essays and catching up on readings (whoops)

this chapter has sooo much going on but a huge thank you to both sarah and flor for making it possible with your very different but very good ideas <3

warnings: depression, anxiety, references to suicide/past suicide attempts/self harm, some poor eating habits, a few mentions of drugs

enjoy and please read the end note on ao3~

High school is bulshit. Connor has known this since he first stepped into the annoyingly bright hallways freshman year because some asshole decided skylights were a good idea. It’s six hours of bullshit, with a bullshit twenty three minute lunch thrown somewhere in the middle.

It’s a lot of bullshit.

Somehow, having a friend makes it…less bullshit. A fake friend. Evan makes everything suck a little less. There’s something to look forward to when he shows up at ass o’clock in the morning. There’s a reason to push through the day, even if it’s just seeing Evan’s smile as he puts books back into his locker. Tuesdays are arguably the best because Connor gets a solid twenty extra minutes with Evan at lunch.

Which in and of itself is its own can of bullshit. A can that Connor should not have opened, but here they fucking are.

There are a few times where Connor genuinely considers telling Evan about his feelings. Platonic and romantic. And then he laughs at himself because no fucking way. On what planet would Evan Hansen like him in any capacity?

Connor is lucky that he’s been able to hold on to Evan as a fake friend. He’s not going to push his luck.

Every time he smiles at Evan he pushes his luck a little more. Every time he asks Evan to hang out without having a legit reason for it he pushes his luck. Every time he thinks about Evan—

Connor focuses on friendship. He focuses on friendship because he will settle for friendship. He would give anything to be Evan’s real friend.

It’s ridiculous but it’s true.

Connor is in way too fucking deep.

“Where have you been?” Larry asks from the couch when Connor opens the front door.

Connor rolls his eyes. “I was with Evan.” And Jared. It was weird but not the worst. Jared kept claiming he could beat Evan at Mario Kart and kept losing and had to buy the pizza. Even if all Connor got out of those three hours was the priceless look on Jared’s face when Connor rolled his pizza up like a burrito with the toppings on the outside, it was worth it.

“Hm.”

Connor shuts the door and pulls off his boots. He drops them by Zoe’s converse. “I told Zoe where I was.”

“So you’re talking to your sister again?”

Connor pauses. He was going to go grab a drink, but apparently not. “Why do you care?”

Larry lowers his phone. “Because she’s your sister.”

“…and?”

“How long have you known Evan?” Larry asks.

Connor frowns. “What does that have to do with anything?”

“Answer the question, Connor.”

Connor grimaces at the sharp tone. “I don’t fucking know—”

“Language.”

“—like seven months? Why does it matter?”  

Larry slides his phone into his pocket. “And how long have you known Zoe?”

Connor scoffs. “Seriously? Are you about to yell at me for spending time with my friend?”

Larry crosses his arms. “He’s always around.”

“Yeah, because he’s my friend and I like him? Zoe’s with her friends all the time, and you don’t say shit about that.” Connor walks into the dining room. If Larry wants to have this conversation, he either has to follow Connor or yell.

“Connor,” Larry says warningly.

“Maybe Zoe doesn’t want to spend time with me,” Connor snaps. Because Zoe doesn’t. And that’s fine. Connor has made her life hell so he doesn’t blame her for not wanting to have anything to do with him.

Larry stalks into the dining room and sometimes Connor forgets that Larry is where he gets his height. “That’s not the point.”

Connor throws his arm out. “Then what is the point!?”

“You have a better relationship with Evan than with your sister.”

Connor stares at him. “Why does this matter.” For some reason this hurts. It stings like he’s just submerged papercut covered hands in lemon juice. It hurts too much for fire to keep burning.

“You’ve known him for less than a year,” Larry says, voice low and dangerous.

“You think you’d be happy that I’ve found an actual friend,” Connor says numbly. The lie burns his mouth.

“You spend far more time with him than Zoe—”

“He actually wants to be around me!” Connor protests. Because he will listen to his father tear him down, but he won’t listen to him say anything about Evan. Not Evan. “Zoe—”

“Is your sister!” Larry yells. Connor feels his blood run cold. “When was the last time you were actually a brother to her!?”

Connor feels sick. The world cracks and crumbles around the edges and his insides freeze and shatter. He laughs. It hurts his chest. “When was the last time you were a father to me?” he whispers.

Larry’s expression doesn’t change. It stays hard. Cold and distant.

When was the last time— 

Connor holds eye contact as long as he can. But he’s broken and the world around him is numbing and dying.

So he leaves.

He pushes past Larry, dropping his eyes to the floor with his tongue heavy in his mouth. He shoves his boots on and throws the door open.

“Where are you going?” Larry yells. Because he can keep doing this. He can do this for hours.

Connor looks out at their driveway. The dying grass and dead plants in neat rows. Brown and wilted and dying and dead. “Why do you care?” he asks.

He slams the door behind him.

It feels good to have a door to slam.

—«·»—

His feet bring him to the playground. There aren’t many places to go in this town.

It’s getting dark. There’s a singular light by the school that still turns on with the other streetlights. It illuminates parts of the playground in a hazy glow.

It doesn’t look real.

Connor sits under the stairs that lead up to the slide. If he closes his eyes, he can bring himself back to elementary school. He digs his hand into the wood chips, cold and jagged and stabbing at his skin. He can pretend. He can hear screaming and laughter and kids running up the stairs trying not to slip. Kids hiding under here, whispering secrets to each other. Someone throws the woodchips at someone else and gets yelled at. They play clapping games and tic-tac-toe in the dirt. They pull up grass and throw it in the air and fall off the monkeybars and fight over the swings and stand under the trees and play in the mud—

Connor takes a shaky breath as hot tears run down his cheek. He scrubs them away with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

He hates crying. He hates how it makes him feel. He hates how tears feel, he hates the runny nose, he hates the sobbing and the ragged breathing and how it makes him feel weak.

He sniffs and wipes away more tears. God, he needs to get high. But he refuses to go home and his stash is running out because he’s low on cash because he’s been spending it all on Evan.

Evan.

Connor flexes his hands — they’re cramped from the cold and from the fists he’s been squeezing them in — and pulls his phone out of his pocket. At least it hasn’t shut off from the cold yet, that’s happened to him before and it’s annoying to deal with.

From: Connor To: Evan      tell zoe im fine just needed to blow off steam      emphasize im not with you

He’s surprised he can type actual words let alone with no spelling mistakes. His hands are cold and shaking. He presses his phone against his forehead and takes a slow breath.

Fuck.

Every atom in his body wants to walk to Evan’s right now. He just wants to be near Evan. There’s something about Evan that’s undeniably calming, even though Evan could be described as nervous energy barely held together in a human form. Something about Evan that makes him feel less at war with himself.

But he already used up his time with Evan for the day. Even just texting Evan feels like too much.

His phone buzzes against his forehead.

From: Evan To: Connor      Ok  j ust did!!      Is everyhting ok??? Do you need ot talk ??

Connor stares at the message. He kind of want to cry again, which fucking sucks. And he told Evan that he would tell him if something was wrong but— no.

From: Connor To: Evan      no not now      maybe later

Connor stares at their conversations.

He asked Evan about cats at four in the morning once. Evan hadn’t responded until he woke up two hours later — good — but when he did he had a bunch of random cat facts. And pictures of Jared’s cat to share.

It felt like friendship. That’s what friendship feels like, right? Connor doesn’t know. He doesn’t know. But he thinks, somehow, he’s broken things. Whatever they are. Because he’s too attached. He’s too involved. Everything is too much.

He digs his fingers into the woodchips again.

Connor can’t decide if it’s better if Evan likes him or hates him.

—«·»—

Zoe texts him. He knows because his phone buzzes and he looks down and he sees her name right above Evan’s. Connor’s phone is at 4%. He turns on airplane mode and locks it without reading any of their texts.

Connor rests his chin on his knees and stares ahead into the darkness.

He doesn’t want to walk home. He knows he has to or he’ll probably freeze to death but that wouldn’t be too bad, would it?

No, that’s a bad idea.

Connor stretches his legs out in front of him. They feel weird, he’s spent so long with them pulled up against his chest. If he stands he might fall over.

He can’t feel his hands when he gets up off the ground. He climbs out from under the slide and holds onto the railing as his legs remember how they’re supposed to work.

He’s tired.

Connor squints into the darkness as he leaves the playground. The streets are so poorly lit in this area that he’s probably going to fall and break something. That’s what happens when people don’t use an area. They don’t care for it. And then some asshole teenager breaks his fucking leg walking home in the dark.

His phone would probably die before he could call for help too.

Connor stuffs his hands in his pockets and starts walking. He knows he should probably pay more attention, but he barely pays attention to the few cars on the roads as he makes his way down the sidewalk. As he gets into a more residential area, it gets a little brighter.

He looks up to cross a street and locks eyes with a doe standing in someone’s yard. It stares at him for a long moment before bounding away into the darkness.

Connor looks both ways and crosses the street, stepping around a puddle that’s starting to freeze over.

He stops when he gets to the bottom of his driveway.

If Larry tries to talk to him when he goes inside, he’ll leave. Connor’s already decided. He doesn’t know where he’ll go, but he’ll leave.

Connor huffs. He really just wants his bed right now.

The door is unlocked when he tries the doorknob. He frowns and slowly pushes the door open. A lamp is on in the living room, though the rest of the rooms are dark.

He quietly takes his boots off and closes and locks the door as softly as possible.

“Connor?” Cynthia asks as soon as he takes another step into the house.

Connor sighs. “Yeah it’s me.”

She gets up from the couch and hurries over to where he’s standing by the front door. “I was so worried,” she whispers, reaching up to touch his cheek. “Oh, Con, you’re freezing.”

“It is November,” Connor tries to joke. The singular stings.

The crease in Cynthia’s forehead gets deeper.

“I’m sorry,” he mumbles.

“Zoe said Evan texted her— were you with him?”

Connor pulls away. “No,” he says sharply. “I wasn’t. I don’t spend every fucking moment with him, god.” He walks toward the kitchen. His hands are still ice and he needs something to warm them.

“I never said you did.” Cynthia follows him. “Your father—”

“Don’t.”

Cynthia sighs. “Connor, we can’t pretend that didn’t happen.”

“I’m going to try.” He debates making coffee, but all that will get from his mom is a disapproving look. He reaches for Zoe’s mint hot chocolate instead.

Cynthia makes a frustrated noise. “Where did you go, Connor?”

“Out.” He grabs the first mug he sees. He resists the urge to drop it when he realizes it’s one of Larry’s, old and orange and so well used that the logo has washed off the side of it.

“Were you out smoking again?”

“No.” He almost wants to laugh. He wishes. He takes the milk out of the fridge and pours it into the mug. He’s too tired to do anything more than microwave milk right now.

“Are you sure?”

Connor sighs and turns to Cynthia with the mug in his left hand. “Mom, you would know if I had been high tonight. Weed smells? Remember?” He brushes past her and puts the mug in the microwave.

Cynthia watches him with sad eyes. She always looks sad and it’s Connor’s fault which is… It’s kind of shitty. “I was terrified,” she says softly.

Connor grimaces.

“I kept thinking… I was so worried that maybe you…”

If she starts crying— Connor doesn’t actually know what he’ll do. “I was fine,” he promises. “I wasn’t going to do anything.”

“Would you tell me if you were going to?”

Connor can’t meet her eyes. He watches the numbers count down on the microwave. He pulls the door open before it can beep. Cynthia sighs as he puts too much hot chocolate powder in the milk. Connor stirs carefully, trying not to spill all over the counter.

“You can always talk to me, sweetheart,” Cynthia says, squeezing his shoulder. Connor shrugs and she presses a kiss to his cheek. “We can talk in the morning. Sleep well.”

Connor stares down into his hot chocolate as she leaves the kitchen.

He has the strong urge to just sit on the floor and waste away.

He takes his hot chocolate up to his room and sits in bed and watches the Great British Baking Show on his laptop. It feels weirdly fake.

At some point he falls asleep. It all feels the same.

“Connor. Connor. Connor!”

Connor groans and rolls over so he’s not facing his doorway.

“Connor, if you don’t get up now, you’re walking to school.”

He squeezes his eyes shut tighter. “‘m not going,” he mumbles.

Zoe grabs his shoulder and shakes him. “Get up!”

Connor shoves her hand away. “Go away!”

“I’m not dealing with your shit—”

“I’m not going!” Connor twists to glare at her. “Fuck off, I’m not going.”

Zoe stares at him. She’s all ready. Her hair is braided over one shoulder, her makeup is done. Connor can’t even remember when she started wearing makeup. He doesn’t know when Zoe grew up.

“Did you hear me?” he snaps. “I’m not going to school.”

She takes a step away. “Okay. Okay. Fine. You’re not going.” She keeps looking at him. Why is she looking at him like that? “Go back to sleep.” She slips out of the room and Connor keep looking at the space she occupied.

He hears the front door open and close. He pulls the covers over his head and goes back to sleep.

—«·»—

Connor wakes up a little bit before noon.

His head hurts and his mouth tastes like death. He stumbles out of bed just to brush his teeth. He probably wouldn’t move other than the fact that his mouth is gross.

While he’s looking at himself in the bathroom mirror as he mindlessly brushes his teeth, he realizes he never changed out of yesterday’s closes. He’s still wearing ripped jeans and an old sweatshirt.

His phone is still sitting on his desk with 2% left. Connor plugs it in and turns off airplane mode and puts on sweatpants that are a little too big and a hoodie that has old paint stains on it. Then he gets back in bed.

He watches videos on his laptop, not really paying attention to what’s on the screen. He looks away in surprise when his phone vibrates. He picks it up and skims through the messages. He never read the ones from last night.

From: Evan To: Connor      Ok IM gonna hol d you to that ok??

From: Z To: C      Why the fuck did Evan just text me????      Where are you?      What happened all I heard was Dad yelling and then you were gone      Connor      Don’t fucking ignore me

Missed call and voicemail from Z

Missed call from Z

From: Z To: C      Pick up asshole

Missed call from Z

From: Evan To: Connor      Umm Zoes freaking ou ton me?      Connr what happened wheer are y ou ?

Missed call from Z

From: Z To: C      Fuck you      Ok?      Seriously fuck you      You’re killing mom      I hope you’re fucking happy      If we find you dead in a ditch somewhere I swear

From: Evan To: Connor      Pl ease answ er some on e

From: Z To: C      I heard you and mom in the kitchen. Fuck you. You can’t do this      You’re terrifying Connor      You scare the shit out of me      I know you won’t respond tonight. I’ll tell Evan you’re ok      This shit isn’t funny

From: Evan To: Connor      Zo ejust text dme Im glad youre ok but I wsih you answered your phone      I know thing s get hard but please let people know yoru esafe because otherwise peoplestart to think the wrs t and then they bother you and dont let you leave their sight      We just want the bes t for you we want you to be ok      Ill see you tomorrwo

From: Z To: C      Just told Evan you won’t be here today. I’m guessing you still haven’t responded to him.      Maybe try to be a good friend.      Or even just a friend.

From: Evan To: Connor      Zoe said you werent coming in today?? A reyou ok?      Thats hte worst question to ask IM so sorry      Please talk ot me Connor      Its importan t      Im coming over after school      I knw thats invading on your personal space but I need to know if youre ok andif youre not going to answer texts I don tknow how else to reach you      I have to help alana with stuco stuff because no on eelse wants to hang posters but Ill be there afterward even if its only for like two minutes can we please talk??

“I’m home!” Zoe shouts.

Connor glances up to the top of his phone to see the time. Shit. It’s already two. He doesn’t know how he lost so much time to YouTube. Which means Evan will be here…soon.

From: Connor To: Evan      ok

“Connor?” Zoe calls out.

Connor stares at her texts and feels his stomach turn. “What?” he yells back.

“Come get your boots! Mom wants us to move ours shoes!”

He scowls and lays back down. “Fuck off!”

She yells at him to get them again, but he just puts headphones in and ignores her. He lays in bed and stares at the wall and listens to music that is way too loud. It would be nice to feel something right now. He distantly hears Zoe yell again and tries to turn the music up louder. The volume doesn’t increase and he makes a face and does a silent eulogy for his eardrums.

Zoe shouts his name again and Connor sighs and yanks out his earbuds. He tried. “What?!”

He can’t make out whatever she says next, but then she shouts, “You’re a dick!”

“Not fucking news,” he snaps. He’s about to put his headphones back in when Evan appears in his doorway. He’s still wearing his backpack and his arms are filled with food and there’s something tucked under his arm.

Connor stares at him. “What the fuck.”

Evan laughs awkwardly. “No dishes in the sink. We realized you probably didn’t eat today.” He looks down at the food he’s holding. There are chips and a container of strawberries and a loaf of bread and he’s carefully balancing a bowl on top of the strawberries.

“Why didn’t you—”

“Zoe had to run,” Evan says. “Something about an emergency piano job?”

Connor squints. “I forgot she plays piano.”

Evan nods. “Someone’s accompaniment is sick so I think she has to fill in. Can you, uh…”

“Oh, right.” Connor gets out of bed and takes the bowl from Evan. It’s filled with leftover mac n cheese. He puts it on the desk and then takes the chips.

“A-anyway, Zoe had to run and two trips are for suckers.” Evan puts the strawberries and bread down on the desk.

Connor rolls his eyes. “Okay.”

“These are also for you.” Evan pulls a stack of mail out from under his arm. “Looks like mostly college stuff.”

“Fucking college board,” Connor mutters. “Never should’ve taken the SATs.”

“Yeah, same. They won’t leave me alone. Oh! And Alana gave me notes for you for english. She started saying something about like…chiasmic?”

“Chiasmus,” Connor mutters, looking through the mail. Nothing he cares about. Great. He can set it on fire.

“Yeah that’s it!” Evan takes off his backpack and puts it on the floor to take out a notebook.

Connor stares at him. “Evan?”

Evan looks up at him. “Yeah?”

“Are… Why are you wearing my boots?”

“Oh.” Evan stands up straighter and lifts one of his feet. “Zoe kept yelling at you to bring your boots upstairs. Figured if I was bringing you all this I just…take them too?”

Connor stares at him. Evan looks kind of ridiculous. Connor’s all too familiar black combat boots are paired with Evan’s usual khakis and a gray sweatshirt with a striped polo peaking out from under it. The boots go up a little too high on Evan’s shins which adds to the look and Connor is now noticing that they give Evan a few inches that he definitely does not actually have.

“Is this what it’s like to be tall?” Evan asks with a smile.

Connor snorts. “No, Hansen. It’s not.”

Evan shrugs. “I’ll take it.”

“Aren’t those kind of big for you?” Connor’s mind is still trying to process this. Evan is wearing his shoes. That’s definitely not something he’s thought about before. Or ever considered. He thinks his brain might be resetting.

“Oh god yes.” Evan sits down on Connor’s bed and unlaces one of the boots. “It’s actually a miracle I didn’t like…fall down your stairs or something. That would’ve been embarrassing.”

“And painful.”

“That too.” Evan pulls off the boot. He’s still wearing his old sneakers.

Connor opens and closes his mouth a few times. “Hey, Ev?”

Evan starts untying the other boot. “Yup?”

“You’re wearing…your shoes in my boots?”

Evan looks Connor in the eye. “I already told you, two trips are for suckers.”  

Connor laughs. It’s weird to laugh right now, like it’s the wrong emotion to feel. But he laughs and smiles at Evan because there is something about Evan wearing sneakers in his boots that’s ridiculous but also makes Connor’s stomach fill with butterflies. “Okay, Ev. Whatever you say.” He falls onto his front on the bed next to Evan. The moment feels too light. And then all of Evan’s texts come back at him in a crushing wave.

Connor grimaces. “Um…sorry for last night.”  

Evan glances back at him over his shoulder. “I…” He rubs a hand over his face. “You scared us.” He says it softly, like a secret, and stares at his feet.

“I wasn’t thinking,” Connor admits. “I just… Fuck, I just needed to get out. And then my phone was almost dead and I didn’t want to talk to people… I fucked up.”

Evan nods. He wordlessly pulls his sneakers off and then crosses his knees on the bed.

“I had a fight with Larry it was…” Connor rolls onto his back and sits up. “I needed to be alone, I guess. I wasn’t really thinking about other people when I left. I didn’t even bring my house key.”

Evan scoots further onto the bed. “What did you fight about?”

Connor searches Evan’s face. His eyes trail over Evan’s freckles. They dot his face like stars. “Nothing serious,” he mumbles. “It just got out of hand.”

Evan leans back on his hands. “Is that why you didn’t come to school today?”

Connor runs a hand through his hair. “I guess. I just… Zoe woke me up and getting out of bed just seemed like the worst fucking option ever. I think I yelled at her, but I barely remember waking up.” He grabs the bowl of mac n cheese off the desk. Food. Right.

Evan nods. “I… There are days like that. Where getting up makes me want to cry.” He holds out a hand. “Can I have the chips?”

“That sucks.” Connor hands over the bag of chips and continues eating mac n cheese. The sooner he finishes this the sooner he can go back to not being a person.

“Yeah, kind of.”

Connor sighs. “Aren’t we a fucking pair.” He pushes pasta around the bowl.

Evan tilts his head. “Yeah,” he mumbles.

Connor frowns. “What is it?”

Evan shakes his head. “Nothing. I thought of something, but it’s not important.”

“Are you sure?”

Evan nods and reaches for Connor’s laptop. “Let’s just watch something and pretend our lives aren’t horrible.”

Connor watches Evan carefully as Evan opens YouTube and scrolls through the recommended videos until he finds one that isn’t too weird sounding. “Yeah that sounds like a good plan.” He puts his bowl back on the desk— he only had a few bites but his stomach is kind of done with food.

Connor takes the laptop from Evan and scoots over so they can both lean against the pillows. He rests the laptop on his knees. Evan’s arm presses against Connor’s and Connor tries not to think about it. He tries to focus on the random video that Evan chose. It’s probably funny or something.

But he can’t. Because Evan is here.

Evan is warm and curled toward Connor and his hair smells nice and he’s leaning his head against Connor’s shoulder to see the screen better. And Connor’s heart is doing this weird thing where it feels like it’s being squeezed which is honestly so fucking rude.

Evan sighs and moves a little closer.

Yup. This is hell.  

—«·»—

“Connor!”

Connor’s heart races as he wakes with a jerk. He’s about to move when he notices the weight on his torso. He looks down to see Evan’s head resting on his chest.

Connor stops breathing.

Holy shit holy shit holy shit holy—

“Connor?”

Connor groans and squints into the bright light of the hallway. When did he fall asleep? When did it get so fucking dark out? Why is Evan sleeping on him? Why is Zoe always so loud? “Wha?”

“You aren’t dead.” A smile plays at the corner of her mouth. Connor squints at her. “Get your ass downstairs, we’re about to—”

Evan sits up, rubbing his eyes.

Zoe stares at him. Her eyes go from Connor to Evan. Connor wants to go back to sleep. He wants Evan cuddled against him because fuck that was really nice.

“Zoe?” Evan asks, voice soft.

Connor is not mentally equipped for this.

“…thought Evan went home,” Zoe says slowly.

“No,” Connor says. “Nap.”

“Right. Right.” She tucks her hair behind her ear. “Cool. Okay.” She clears her throat. “We were going to…” She gestures over her shoulder. “You know…”  

Connor narrows his eyes as he tries to figure out what she means.

“Friday night? Shabbat?”

Connor props himself up on his elbows. “Oh. Right.” He looks to Evan. Evan’s hair is messy and sticking up in all directions and it’s making Connor’s heart do weird things.

Zoe follows his gaze. “Uh… Evan can…join us? If he…?” She gives Connor a desperate look. “Or stay here? Or sleep…? Um…” She raises her eyebrows at Connor. Connor shakes his head.

“Uh…I don’t really…” Evan clears his throat. “My mom and I— we don’t really do anything for Shabbat at home…because… My mom works a lot so we don’t— I don’t really…know what I’m supposed to do?”

Tension seems to leave Zoe as she smiles at Evan. “Don’t worry about it, we can show you. Connor doesn’t know what he’s doing either.”

Connor flips her off and throws off his covers. “I won’t be insulted in my own fucking home,” he mutters.

Evan crawls over Connor’s legs to get out of bed. “You sure I w-won’t ruin it?” he asks Zoe, tugging on his shirt.

“Swear,” she says, drawing an x over her heart. “We haven’t set the house on fire yet, so you’ll be fine.”

Evan steps past her into the hallway and Zoe immediately raises her eyebrows at Connor. Connor gives her a look.

“What is this,” she hisses into his ear.

“What do you mean?” he whispers back.

She gestures to Evan. “When did you two get together?”

Connor jerks away. “What?”

Zoe stares at him. “You’re—”

“No!” He lowers his voice. “Zoe what the fuck—”

“I don’t know! He gets you to eat and sleep what the fuck am I supposed to think?”

“Not that?”

“A-are you two coming?” Evan asks from the top of the stairs.

Connor and Zoe exchange a look.

“Later,” Zoe says.

“No.” Connor walks over to Evan and tugs on his sleeve. “Let’s go.”

Zoe squeezes past them on the stairs, flicking the back of Connor’s head as she goes. “Mom! Evan’s joining us!”

Evan grabs Connor’s hand at the foot of the stairs. “I have no idea what I’m supposed to do,” he whispers with wide eyes.

“It’s fine,” Connor promises. “Just stand next to me and do what I do. But you don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Evan looks toward the kitchen. “I… It’ll be fine. Yeah. I-I want to do this.”

Connor gives him a small smile and pulls him into the dining room. Cynthia places down another glass as they walk in and smiles at Evan. Evan nods and fiddles with his hands and Connor resists the annoyingly strong urge to hold his hand.

Zoe passes around her purple kippot from a drawer near the sink, and Connor wonders how long it’ll take before his falls off this time. He watches Evan read the inscription inside of the date of her bat mitzvah, before nervously pressing it on his head.

They stand behind their chairs at the table, small glasses of grape juice — or in Larry’s case, red wine — next to their plates. Connor watches as Cynthia lights the candles and waves her hands over them before covering her eyes so she can’t see the flames as she sings a short prayer for the candles.

Connor tries to concentrate on the Hebrew instead of the glow reflected in Evan’s eyes. Those are bad thoughts. And it’s also not the time for them.

Cynthia moves to her seat and lifts her wine glass. Connor nudges Evan as the rest of the family does the same. Evan shoots him a thankful look and a tiny smile. They keep the glasses aloft as Cynthia makes Kiddush, only awkwardly joining in at the end of the blessing.

Connor remembers Zoe learning the other parts of it for her bat mitzvah, but she probably feels too uncomfortable to sing along with Evan here. Not that Evan is the most awkward and uncomfortable part of their dysfunctional family. 

Everyone takes a sip of their drinks — Evan a little belatedly — and Cynthia removes the ornate cover from her handmade loaves of challah on the cutting board. Connor remembers when she used to buy challah for them, ordered specially from a bakery, shiny and with white flour. Sometimes on holidays they had raisins.

Now she bakes them gluten free and several weeks in advance, but at least he remembers the blessing for once (the food was really the part of Hebrew school he looked forward to), so he joins in quietly with everyone, trying not to focus on Evan’s wavery stuttering. The bread is sliced and the cutting board is passed around, and they all take their seats.

Connor hears an audible sigh of relief from Zoe. Evan looks to Connor and gives him a half smile. He’s gripping the hem of his shirt in his hands under the table. Connor smiles back.

Zoe is still right, they haven’t burned the house down.

Dinner is awkward. Honestly, Connor wasn’t expecting anything else. It’s awkward and quiet and the little talking that is done is done by Zoe and Cynthia. Connor does his best to just not look in Larry’s direction. He will ignore this as long as he possibly can. Next to him, Evan is tense and keeps his eyes mostly on his plate. Sometimes him and Connor make eye contact and Evan will give him a tiny smile and Connor’s heart tries out a fun new pattern. Evan keeps touching his kippah, sometimes adjusting it, eyebrows furrowing whenever he does. He’s probably worried about it slipping or falling into the soup or something and honestly, Connor relates.

They survive. That’s the important part.

“Told you it’d be fine,” Connor says as they go back up to his bedroom. Evan probably has to go home at some point but Connor is very pointedly not thinking about that.

Evan laughs. “I thought my kippah was going to fall off. I’d probably find a way to make it catch fire.”

“I’d be impressed.”

Connor eyes the stack of snacks on his desk before grabbing the carton of strawberries and sitting on the edge of his bed.

Connor holds out a strawberry and Evan takes it while saying, “You know, we just ate.” Connor shrugs. “Fruit is healthy.”

“I mean you aren’t wrong.” Evan drops down on the bed next to Connor.

Connor stares at him for a few moments. He’s probably got some sort of embarrassingly soft look on his face but it’s fine. Then he remembers that Evan is here. “Oh shit, I have money here some—”

“No,” Evan interrupts.

Connor shakes his head. “We agreed—”

“Fuck Jared’s list,” Evan says. He glances to the doorway and lowers his voice. “I wanted to be here, Con. I wanted to see you. D-don’t… You don’t have to pay me.”

“Are you sure?” Connor asks softly. He feels…like he’s using Evan but worse. Because this is not the agreement.

Evan nods. “I’m sure.”

Connor runs a hand through his hair and looks away. “Okay,” he says, stomach turning. It’s okay. It’s fine. “Okay.” 

[those-cunning-folk]

"im volunteering outside the mall for the Salvation Army all day and its cold as hell but youve been keeping me company outside even though i dont know you and now youre freezing too au" with human!hades/persephone

Send me winter prompts!

“You know, you don’t have to stay out here. It’s horrendous.” She shivered as a gust of frigid wind slapped across her face with snow and ice. Her teeth started to chatter as her rhythm with the gold bell became a little more unstable.

“You looked like you could use some company. And you look to be on the verge of hypothermia, so I thought I might need to stay and call an ambulance.” The man standing next to her responded. He looked to be intimidating, a lot of the holiday shoppers threw him a wary look as they rushed into the mall to have shelter from the harsh winter wind. She wasn’t wary, he seemed scary at first, in all black, but then he talked to her, the first mall patron to actually acknowledge her as a human being, and she was entranced.

“I’m Hades, by the way.” He mumbled as a mall goer haphazardly shoved some change into her red bucket.

“Happy Holidays!” She yelled after the retreating back, before turning back to the man called Hades. “I’m Persephone. You can call me Seph.” She beamed at him. Hades smiled lightly back at her. He liked her from the moment he saw her, bundled up in an evergreen coat, a floral, brightly colored scarf, dark curly brown hair cascading out from a knit cap that had a rose pinned to it. “Are you sure you don’t want to go inside? You don’t even have a hat on.” She said, looking up at his black hair, it was a bit curly, the wind pulling it loose from the bundle he had it tied back into. He looked at her with icy blue eyes, Persephone shivered slightly and felt a blush settle on her cheeks. He was really quite attractive.

“I am quite cold, but you seem to be too.” Hades pursed his lips and pondered for a moment. “I’ll be back, try not to freeze to death, alright?” He gave her a slight smirk and a wink before walking into the mall.

Persephone shivered, ringing the bell as merrily as she could muster, but it was cold as hell and she just wanted to go home and burrow under some blankets. Why did she think volunteering outside the mall two days before Christmas was a good idea, again? Oh yeah, because it’s Christmas.

“Here.” The soft voice that belonged to Hades interrupted her daydream of a warm nap with her Bernese Mountain Dog. She looked at him and saw he was holding out a cup from the specialty tea store.

“Oh my god, you’re a lifesaver!” Seph could have cried taking the steaming cup, but her tears probably would have frozen in the wind. She took a sip and felt the warmth spread through her with the minty flavor.

“I hope you like peppermint, the workers seemed very adamant that it was the most appropriate tea for you.”

She giggled into the cup. “I go in there and get a cup of this almost every day. Thank you, Hades, you’re so kind.”

Hades smiled in response, taking a sip from his own cup. “Maybe… You and I could go and have a proper cup of tea after your done here?”

The flush settled high on her cheeks, she couldn’t stop smiling as she sipped her tea. “I’d love that.”

Hades smiled a wide smile that made her blush even more. “Then it’s a date.”

SEND ME WINTER PROMPTS!

[drferox]

20 Questions with Dr Ferox #13: Euthanasia

There are lots of questions you Vetlings have wanted to ask about euthanasia, and a few added comments. I don’t know how long you’ve been holding onto your questions or fears but I do think it’s a good idea to talk abut this topic occasionally. In day to day life we’re fairly removed from the reality of death, but talking about it before hand often smooths the was when the time comes for our own pets. For those that have recently witnessed euthanasia for their pet, talking about it after the fact can help too.

If you don’t want to touch this topic, check that you’re blacklisting ‘pet death’ and don’t read below the cut.

Anonymous said: Do you know if it's scary for an animal when it's being euthanized?

It's unlikely that animals feel any particular fear about the euthanasia itself. The solution used for euthanasia is an anaesthetic overdose, an anaesthetic that used to be used on humans, but with a non-lethal effect. Humans describe becoming briefly light headed before falling unconscious. Our pets are likely to experience the same thing, only they don't wake up because we use a massive overdose.

The car ride might be scary. Being on the table might be scary. Touching the animal's feet often upsets them more than the euthanasia itself. It should be no more stressful than any other vet visit.

Anonymous asked: Can you describe how does an animal respond to euthanasia/what signs do you look for to see if it's working?

The euthanasia solution, which is an anaesthetic overdose, is administered intravenously. Some animals just drop dead in as little as ten seconds, the so-called 'falling off the needle'. Some animals lick their lips before they fall unconscious, and it's possible they somehow 'taste' the solution in their blood stream, but this is only for a few seconds before they become unconscious. Sometimes an animal will shiver as it falls unconscious, and occasionally we will see hackles rise or tails fluff up. Their eyes generally stay open. I can usually see them stop breathing within the first 20-30 seconds.

Sometimes they will let go of their bladder or bowel. Sometimes we will see an 'agonal gasp', which is a series of sudden, sharp, deep breaths that occur as the heart stops. If this happens the patient is definitely dead, but it startles owners.

Then I check the heart beat, because it will have stopped by now. Sometimes I check the corneal reflex, but I often don't need to do that in front of owners at that stage.

@raxacoricofabulous said: Euthanasia question: how do you handle it when something goes wrong? ( like solution going outside the vein and is painful or the animal spasms - basically what do you say when the procedure is not as peaceful as the clients expected). Thank you so much!

I pre-warn clients about the agonal gasp. Then if it happens I can simply say “That’s the gasp I warned you might happen, and is completely normal.”

I routinely test the vein before injecting, a touch of paranoia is always worthwhile, but if solution is injected outside the vein I will usually withdraw, explain the patient’s vein isn’t very good and their blood pressure is low, and that we need to swap sides/veins. If the animal is inclined to freak out anyway a happy dose of sedatives before hand is very useful.

Paranoia and double checking is highly recommended to prevent this, so it’s very rare for something like this to happen.

Anonymous said: Question about the euthanasia. My teacher said that sometimes it's possible that the animal and moan and twitch after being injected. Is that true as well, or do I have a dud of a teacher? (Well, he's getting fired after this semester so we know he's a dud....)

Some animals with a good set of lungs with moan or groan softly as part of their agonal gasp, especially if they had laryngeal paralysis of any kind. It's very awkward when this happens, but the animal is already dead and not conscious in any way. You can also get some muscle spasms, twitching or hair standing up on end, though this is usually subtle.

You should not have an animal paddling, this is a possibly conscious reaction. They should not be vocalising either, both of these symptoms suggest that at least part of the brain is still doing its thing, and the animal is actually either in stage 3 anaesthesia, the excitement phase, or something else is wrong. More green dream required.

@ mystidarkness said: For your euthanasia question list:   How do you go about euthanizing small animals such as mice/rats?   How about reptiles? And birds?

Small and exotic animals can present a challenge for euthanasia, because they are difficult to gain intravenous access to for administration of the anaesthetic overdose. Generally speaking, is an animal is so small they are too difficult to get a vein on easily, they are anaesthetised first with a gaseous anaesthetic, and then administered the euthanasia solution either into the heart, kidney, liver or peritoneum depending on the species. Some species may have an easier accessible vein once they are already under anaesthetic, particularly wildlife, so sometimes this is used. Once they're already under anaesthesia, they're not going to feel any pain from an injection outside the vein.

Reptiles can be a bit funny because of how much they can slow down their metabolism. Some clinics will elect to pith reptiles after they're anaesthetised, which destroys their brain stem, in order to be certain. They will also often not chill or freeze the reptile initially, because you can't be certain that it's definitely dead if it's cold.

Anonymous said: My question on euthanasia is based on reptiles. How do vets decide its time for something that doesn't really present emotion like big mammals, or even rodents? We didn't see much change in our beardie before she passed and I wanted to know what signs you guys look for?

It is very challenging in species with no behavioural queues, or which have queues which are difficult to interpret. We have to rely on medical indications. If it has pathology that would be known to be painful or sickening in a mammal, assume the reptile feels the same. If they are losing weight, less active, exhibiting less of their normal behaviour or stop eating, they all may be signs that euthanasia is indicated.

@fkphotos said: Euthanasia question: why do some vets not allow people to be with their animals when they're doing it, is it a personal thing or is there some logistical issue with having owners present at euthanasia? I've had two pets put down due to severe incurable illness, one hedgehog and one cat. I was with the cat when she passed, but my hedgehog vet would not let me be with my hedgehog. It's something I've never quite forgiven myself for, that I wasn't there for him.

While I have not treated or euthanised a hedgehog (Australia. Illegal), they do not strike me as having any easily accessible veins in a conscious animal, and so may need to be euthanised by gaseous anaesthetic, followed by an intra-cardiac injection. The anaesthetic gas is a bit of a health and safety risk, and watching your pet get an injection into the heart is... uh... kind of not great for most people. While I give my clients the option to stay, most leave after the pocket pet is unconscious, since that’s the part that matters anyway. It still all happens very fast, they don’t know why they get light headed and then sleepy.

Anonymous asked: Is euthanising a bird the best thing to do for it? I've seen chickens and pigeons euthanised on a number of occasions, and the bird was injected intracranially each time. I think I remember you saying that euthanasia solution was highly irritant to tissues, so would injecting the animal in this was cause unnecessary pain and suffering, or is it impractical to inject a bird intravenously?

There aren't any sensory nerves inside the brain, there's not actually the receptors there to feel anything, and barbituate straight into your brain is going to render you dead fairly rapidly.

That said, it's not my preferred method of euthanasia for birds.  I prefer to use anaesthetic gas, and then either an intravenous injection in larger birds or intra-cardiac in smaller birds once they're unconscious. I am not personally comfortable with intra-cranial anything.

@cellmemebrane asked: Sorry is this is a little morbid but do rat guillotines actually exist? I read it in the guide but im not sure if people (probably just labs) actually use that

They do exist (you can google them if you’re curious), but they are basically for laboratory medicine only, when rats and small animals need to be killed without damaging tissues. This is laboratory equipment, not part of veterinary practice and while death is rapid it’s...well... literally a guillotine.

Anonymous asked: i have a question about euthanasia. i had an old cat put down, and i've always been worried that she was in pain. They injected her in her heart because there were no usable veins. Are animals in pain when they get euthanized?

If she was fully conscious, then an injection passing through your chest wall and into your heart is expected to hurt. Not so much the euthanasia solution itself, but the needle track. If her consciousness was altered or if she was sedated or anaesthetised, she is unlikely to have felt anything.

@ destiny-n-chicken asked: First year vet student here. I recently read your post explaining euthanasia solution, how it is an extreme tissue irritant and how it hurts. I've known this but before now I've never considered it past making sure the catheter is in correctly. We were taught how to do intrahepatic and intrarenal injections of euthanasol as other options for euthanasia, and I was curious if these would hurt the animal like it hurts if you aren't in the vein while attempting to euthanize IV.

It can a little bit, but both of those organs are so vascular that induction of anaesthesia is likely to still be quite fast, and most of their sensory neurons are located in the capsule, not the parenchyma of the organ. It’s not a bad second or third choice. Diluting the euthanasia solution can reduce the potential sting.

Anonymous asked: Hi Doc, I wanted to ask--how often are at-home euthanasias performed? What are the criteria? I was thinking about it because one of my cats is always really afraid when I take her to the vet. She's young and in good health but I had a terrible vision of taking her in for euthanasia when she gets old or if she gets really sick and of her being terrified until the end.

For our clinic an at-home euthanasia has to be organized ahead of time, not last minute, not an emergency and not with a super aggressive animal. We have to make sure we have enough staff working so that there are at least two people free to go on the house call, and at least two remaining in the clinic. So for us, weekday appointments booked a few days before are what we require. We usually require pre-payment too because the absolute last thing you want to do after having your pet put to sleep at home is to call the clinic with your credit card details.

Anonymous asked: I'm not sure if this is what you're looking for in terms of the euthanasia questions, but I was just wondering if, as the vet, its ever okay to cry/be emotional while euthanising an animal? I'm a vet student in year 2 of 5 so haven't yet had any teaching on the matter but I was wondering about your opinion? I can see it depending on the client as some may see it as wholly unprofessional while others may appreciate that you feel their loss too maybe? I'm not sure!

My personal rule is to not be more emotional than the animal's own humans. It's okay to feel what you feel, but you can't let your emotions become the most important ones in the room. You, we, are here to do a job. That's taking care of the animal first, the people second, and yourself third. If you can just keep your emotions from taking over for ten minutes, you can handle them all then.

It's important to feel, you don't want to become dead to emotions. That's not good for your brain. But you do need to learn to reign them in for short periods of time. This isn't just limited to sadness, but everything else veterinary medicine makes us feel: Anxiety, anger, fear and sorrow.

Anonymous asked: How do you cope with euthanizing animals, especially when that animal was someone's pet? We recently put our dog to sleep and it was a really traumatic experience for us and I'm just wondering how you cope with seeing people mourn and how you frame euthanasia in your mind. Love the blog!

It's always sad, but I remind myself, and sometimes the people, that the reason this event is so sad is because they loved their pet so much. The sadness is only here because the life of that animal was full of love, and that's the important part. Yes, it sucks, and it's going to feel bad, but only because something wonderful was here in the first place.

Anonymous said: A shy vetling has a euthanasia question if you have time. I am a current vet student, and I handle PTS with other vets alone very well, it's easy to be calm and professional when everyone around you is. But I find PTS with the owners present very distressing. I have a pragmatic view on life, and I even fight furiously that euthanasia is a very good option in many cases. But when the owners are crying I stop seeing the patient and start feeling their loss. How did you control that as a student?

Hello Shyling. I don't recommend trying to not feel. I recommend trying to let yourself feel, but later. I find it helps to focus on the disease/pathology early on, but at this stage of my life I have a mental script I run through for euthanasia. I can basically do a euthanasia consult on auto-pilot if I need to, I can just default to my mental script.

If you're having trouble try not to look at human faces. Focus on the patient, on the illness. Especially don't look kids in the eyes if you think you're about to break, because crying children will get you every time. Remember that you only have to hold yourself together for ten minutes to get the job done, then you can go feel whatever you were going to feel without interfering with the owner's own grief.

@cscorlis said: Re euthanasia: In your experience, how often does an animal survive the first dose of drugs? When we put down my family dog years ago, she still had a heartbeat after the first dose and the vet had to go out of the room to get another vial, so I'm curious as to whether it's common for them to react differently to the stuff. (Question tax: My headcanon is that you never play healers in D&D because it's too much like your day job).

Not often with me because I am overly generous with the death juice. Sometimes the very old, very sick, very frightened or otherwise cardiovascularly compromised patients will only be anaesthtised, not euthanised, on a standard dose. Sometimes they will pass on their own after a few minutes, sometimes they need a few extra milliliters of euthanasia solution. Most animals are at least peacefully anaesthetised by this stage, and if you were willing to wait hours would probably then pass on their own, but that’s not ideal.

I try not to play healers, but when I do I twist them in some way. You can do some evil things with healing.

Euth question: I've heard that horses will fight the "green dream", and that a shotgun is quicker and less painful. I know horses aren't your area, but what are your thoughts on this?

Shotguns are fast, if the shooter has a clue what they’re doing. I do not recommend the inexperienced shoot a horse because it’s not as simple as ‘in the head’ for a clean death.

It’s not so much that horses always ‘fight�� the green dream (euthanasia solution), it’s just that they’re so big, and dangerous when they fall or trip out, that’s it’s physically difficult to give them the solution rapidly enough to make them just drop and not paddle those dangerous legs of theirs. You are basically racing to pump the drug in before the horse gets high. This is easier in older or sicker horses, but is still not as controlled as a smaller animal.

Anonymous asked: Euthanasia Q: Why do some animals have body movements (wheezing, limb twitching, urination/defecation, etc.) after death, but others don't? I think I vaguely know why it happens when it does happen, but wondering why some cases don't experience this at all.

The answer depends on the body activity. All animals let go of their bladder and bowels when they die, it’s just that many of them are already ‘empty’ when they do so, so there’s nothing to come out. Most animals twitch or shiver a little bit, but it’s subtle and easy to overlook.

Whether you get agonal gasping or larger twitched basically depends on  how rapidly the euthanasia solution went in and reached the brain. Animals with weak hearts, who have been very sick, or who are in a panic often redistribute a smaller percentage of the solution directly to their brain, and are more likely to show these movements. They’re not conscious movements though, they’re only reflexes. Obese animals often require a higher dose to get the same effect too, because the euthanasia solution likes to dissolve in fat.

Anonymous asked: I have...a question...i keep rats and plan to keep them for a long period of time, so i will likely see many deaths. I have come to peace with this bc i know im giving them the best life. My issue is what to do with the body. It feels wrong to just throw them away, and i dont really want to donate them to universities bc i dont think that would give me enough closure. But im in college and will likely move around so i have no yard for burials. Can you think of any other options? Have a great day

If you don’t want to bury them at home, a vet clinic can arrange burial with whatever company they use, or private cremation if you want to keep the tiny little ashes of your rats with you. Many companies here have little miniature urns, hearts and lockets for pocket pets for this purpose.

Anonymous asked: If the owner doesn't want the body or there is no owner, what happens to the animal after euthanasia?

This will depend on the crematorium company the clinic uses. If there’s no owner we usually wait a few weeks, just in case someone comes forward, and if the animal was microchipped every effort is made to contact the owners. Failing that, bodies are either sent for communal burial (unmarked graves) or group cremation and scattering.

[richard-of-windoor]

naknaknakadile

Tell me about your ocs!!!!!!!

imagine. i launched myself through your window rn 

ive been having a lot of oc feelings lately but i also have a sort of writers block and i  w anna cry. im gonna do a read more tho bc im scared itll get really long. also i want my series to eventually be a video game s o some elements may sound very game like for that reason

okay!!! s o the setting is high fantasy so expect magic and fantasy races. i also rework a lot of things out of the blue but this is what theyre like right now

*last name subject to change one day maybe

Davorin Mors - vampire and necromancer. i still cant decide if i want vampires to have lived hundreds of years or regular human years s o his age rn is either 16 or 1698 (every hundred years equal one year for vamps). The Mors family is related to Agatha the goddess of death and ruler of the underworld which is how Dav got his powers bc vampires sometimes dont have magic. Davorin’s older brother Vladimir is very upset Dav got powers instead of him which causes a lot of tension between them. 

Davorin is quiet and observant but can also end up being very reckless. he was forced into being a sort of servant to Agatha bc she feels he owes her for giving him powers that he didnt even ask for. so he is very very jumpy around her bc shes a god so. very powerful. Davorin still doesnt have great control over his powers bc necromancy is the darkest magic and even with being a vampire one wrong spell could kill him so he has to hold back  a lot (which is also sort of an excuse for him not to be too overpowered in the series). as a vampire he used to be okay with sucking blood from people bc it was what all vamps did, but he feels disgusted with his past self and refuses to drink blood from unwilling people now. he almost always wears an enchanted coat (it grows with him so it always fits) into battle that his uncle gave him before he was killed. he uses a scythe mainly but likes to use knives/daggers. i love him dearly. 

Vince Solastice* - vampire and bard. comes from a long long line of bards so music is literally in his veins. 15. he loves being center of attention and loves the stage. hes sort of the yin to davorin’s yang while Dav is very quiet, Vince is very loud. he was born with albinism so he grew up bullied for it in school. he ended up dying his hair and wearing colored contacts for a long time. he puts on a very confidant, tough act but hes actually kinda insecure. hes very good at hiding it tho bc not even Davorin has picked up on it yet. he picks a lot of fights in school bc people accuse him of stealing their boyfriends a lot. hes very flirty and loves making others flustered. he loves teasing others esp nate bc nate gets super riled up. hes flamboyant and pretty open about his sexuality (which flusters Nate a lot who Vince calls a prude).

he sometimes works with Dav to do stuff for Agatha but she really hates him. shes snapped his wrist before but he’ll do anything to help Dav. he wants to get Dav away from her but doesnt know how. 

he was born and raised in France, but then moved to Romania and then to California. the Solastice and Mors family are good friends which is how Dav and Vince met. ive been playing around with the idea of giving him older sisters but as of now hes an only child.

Nate Ryder - human and wizard (dont have a term for his magic yet). 14. a young boy who grew up in a village that was filled with ancient magic and culture. but then the Serpents attacked them. 

the Serpent King is an evil king basically. i need to work on him more.

anyways the Serpents took Blake and Nate and pillaged and destroyed the village. Blake and Nate were made to become servants to the Serpent king. Nate is more heavily focused on magic and uses a staff. his magic and combat was taught by other Serpents so its going to be better than others. the Serpent castle also had a huge library of (stolen) books so Nate knows a lot about history and cultures. since he was very young when he was taken he doesnt remember much of his own, he cant even recall his parents faces. eventually Blake and Nate escaped (they realized just how cruel it is and what they were doing) the Serpent castle and run as far away as they can. after that they dedicated their lives to helping others. they know they cant fix what theyve done but they can at least work towards redemption. the big problem is that they were both branded when they were brought to the castle. so they have a big white serpent going along their arm (left for nate, right for blake) and people easily recognize it so they dont get treated that greatly.

Nate is very stubborn and aims towards perfection. hes a believer of “if you want something right do it yourself”. due to the way he was raised he was forced to grow up fairly quickly so hes mature for his age so to speak. but he does have moments of childlike behavior which pleases blake a lot. Nate is also very tactical and wants to always have control of a battle (which is why he clashes with Dav’s reckless behavior). hes esp protective of Blake in battle since hes the only family he has left. hes willing to lose a battle for Blake’s sake. he has a lot of issues with trusting others and looks down on friendship. i always wanted to have Nate be THE character who changes the most overtime. while i want everyone to have development i want nate to grow the most for some reason

Blake Ryder - human, half dragon, and fighter. 18. Nate’s older brother. same backstory as above but instead of focusing on magic when he was younger Blake focused more on combat. a master with the swords. a slightly different aspect of his backstory was that the Serpents experimented on him when he was younger. (tell me if this sounds dumb btw) they put dragon DNA into him which caused him to become half dragon. he still has no idea how to control it or what he can even do, but he does know he has to keep it a secret (except from Nate). he appears fully human s o nothing does ticks anyone off. he does have a bad habit of smoking bc he says he needs to feel some sort of fire in his lungs to feel right (Nate refuses to believe him and hates the habit). he does eventually learn how to use his powers but theyre obv much less powerful than a real dragons (which have been extinct for a long ass time. also another way to not make him op).

he doesnt talk much. Nate does the talking for the both of them. when he does talk though, hes very calm and patient. unless its concerning Nate. since they dont have parents his become Nate’s in a way. reprimanding him when he gets to hot headed, making sure hes taken care of himself, etc. he also didnt get to have much of a childhood but he just wishes Nate could have one. like Nate he also has a very tactful mind and aims for the best solution to victory so the two work extremely well together. 

Kristen Masuda* - human, fighter. an upbeat, energetic transgirl. 16. wants the best for everyone and wants everyone to get along!!! loves her friends and would do anything for them!! fun fact: was the second oc i ever made!!!

growing up her mom taught her that teamwork is the recipe for success so tries her ultimate best to work well with others. can be naive and easily  trusting which puts the team at risk from time to time. she gets very upset after these times and feels she isnt a good leader at all for her team and shes just going to lead her friends into danger. 

shes been trained in close combat so mainly uses swords. she can use magic but i havent decided what her magic should mainly be. i think what ill have her do is enchant her sword.

she gets upsets during friend fights and tries to patch them up. she gets told that she should let them patch things up but she just cant stand seeing her friends fight and be mad at each other.

Valerie Perxina* - fairy, fighter, and magic user. 16. loves fashion and always looks her best. she thinks of every day as a new fashion show. she fights with Nate and Vince mostly for that reason as shes self titled herself the prettiest of the group

she grew up in the forest with other fairies as is the usual. but she hated them all and was considered weird for wanting to explore the outside world. she eventually got fed up and left in the night. she hasnt gone back since. shes extremely edgy around other fairies for that reason and doesnt like them. she met Kristen one day while looking for a place to settle and the two became quick friends

she knows what she wants and prefers it when things go her way. she questions anyone since Kristen is so easily trusting with people. Valerie’s sharp tongue can get the group in a lot of trouble. also wont tolerate anyone who sees her as just a pretty face. 

she uses a cutlass for close combat and magic for distance. i havent been able to think of a lot of fairy magic so as of right now its not much.

Luke (no last name yet :( ) - element (ice), magic user. 15. a happy boy who loves cracking jokes and making the mood lift!!! 

quick explanation of the (probably dumb) element thing: basically a person who is made of a certain element. in Luke’s case his body is made of ice and he has ice powers. so his body is always freezing and he loves the cold more than anything. 

anyways!! Luke grew up in a village in the snowy mountains with other ice elements but he never found himself becoming long term friends with anyone. so he left to go on his own. he later found Max and the two found Valerie and Kristen and the four became fast friends. Luke is the youngest of the group so hes the most immature and doesnt like it super serious long meetings. he does know of course when to act serious but he just likes making people happy esp Nate who he feels is always serious and unhappy. 

he can use ice powers and walk on water by turning it to ice. he can also breath underwater (due to the fact that hes sort of made of water) so underwater quests are up to him. his preferred weapon is an ice sword he creates.

his original concept had him and max growing up in britain so they have english accents and you can pry that concept from my cold dead hands. their accents are strong

Max Ignis****** (I know dumb last name so its def getting changed) - element (fire), magic user. 18. laid back and just wants to play guitar. if only he would stop burning his strings :(

grew up near a volcano with little population. so he mostly grew up alone. he met Luke (who was wandering aimlessly around the world) and decided to join him. he likes relaxing and when things are calm but his temper can fire up sometimes. he doesnt like fighting and will try to keep things peaceful if able. but hes ready to protect someone when needed

his favorite thing to do is smoke with blake (and davorin at times) since max is literal fire. he enjoys smoking and filling himself with smoke. he also likes playing guitar with vince, but he feels like vince is too strict about music sometimes.

his uses his fists when fighting and launches fire balls.  sometimes hes able to melt a weapon but he has to get close and ahold of it to do it

Cameron Green - human, magic user, probably crying as we speak. 16. didnt want to be the chosen one and doesnt know whats going on.  FIRST OC EVER CREATED BTW

Cameron and Andrew are the big plot people. theyre the reason the plot happens and arguably the most important two. but i still want everyone to have an equal spotlight. 

Cameron is a space wizard. which means he can do things such as star bombs which causes a blinding flash, change the gravity for a small area, and have meteors fly down. the space wizard hasnt been heard of for a long time and is considered an ancient magic. the only problem is Cameron is wielding it.

Cameron is clumsy, cautious, and terrified. hes terrified of what he can do and what could happen if he messes up (will he hurt his friends, will he fail the world, will he disappoint everyone). he was unknown to the magic world growing up due to not knowing his real parents. he and his brother were dropped off at a orphanage one night after it was deemed too dangerous from an attack for their parents to keep them. he grew up being considered an outsider and a loner in a small town in Nebraska. he loves creating art and drawing and painting is his speciality. while Andrew may be the opposite of Cameron, he still loves him and protects him the best he can. Cameron can be mouthy but quickly shuts up if someone stronger than him shows up (which is. most people). Next to Nate I want Cameron to have a lot of growth as well. him growing used to his powers and being able to wield them and him growing confidant in himself. 

i love Cameron dearly since he is the first oc ever made by me. i bought platform boots bc of him and im pretty sure he helped me realize i was always goth bc hes always had those big platform boots for some reason. 

Cameron likes to uses a staff summoned from the galaxy to fight with. it sounds very extra but its just a staff that has the sun on one end and the moon on the other. very sick.

(this pic is tiny but u can see the platform boots a bit)

Andrew Green - human and magic user. 15. wants to protect the earth more than himself. this kid will slap you if you dont recycle. 

Andrew is an earth wizard which is very generic in fantasy but i plan on having it as rare as the space wizard in my world. i wanted something to connect them as brothers so i decided to do the earth and space thing. basically an earth wizard is always accompanied by a space wizard and vice versa. the two are always blood related also. 

Andrew’s powers are kinda generic in fantasy bc earth is always used. he can make vines appear, shake the earth, form rocks, etc. his sword is summoned from the ground and has a very earthy appearance. 

Andrew is seen as the perfect boy. popular, outgoing, friendly. people refused to believe he was related to Cameron. When Andrew found out about magic it was estatic , he was a huge fantasy fan and was more than ready to take whatever it threw at him. which ended up being a lot. Andrew tries his best to keep up with whatever is happening but sometimes. life just gets too much and he loses it. when stressed he tends to go to places with lots of nature and trees. 

When Cameron cant stay motivated Andrew tries his best to keep him up. 

beep beep this ended up being way longer but!!!!!!!!!! this helped me get lots of shit straight so thank u for asking!!!!!