#im gonna try to use 1 leg warmer for an arm and the other a leg

[dirtylittleanimals]

💣 Guess who's (probably) going to a medieval faire next month!!!

[writingkeepsmewhole]

Running

This is the second part of Betrayal my Dean Winchester AU Fic. You can find it here. Part 1 

This is long like the first part.  After Dean and Scarlet sleep with each other the deiced to pretend like it never happened. Them just going to stay friends and not tell Rebecca about there betrayal. 

Dean Winchester X OC Scarlet

Warnings: Cheating

I walked into my room my heart pounding loudly. I was back in my oversized T-shirt and panties. Even with that on I still felt like I was completely exposed. Like Rebecca could see what I just done.

"Hey sis." she says smiling up at me her on the floor her almost sitting in her own vomit.

"Come on." I say pulling her up to her feet and leading her into my on joining bathroom.

As soon as I turned on the light I couldn't help but look at myself to see if I looked different.

I was the same all for a flushed face. They talk about the afterglow I just looked flustered like someone who done something wrong. My face blotchy my skin sticky.

I didn't get to study myself for long or even think back on what I done.  Rebecca quickly puking again.  At least time it was in the toilet.

"I'm sorry." she mumbles standing up but almost falling.

"I know you are. I can't believe you are doing this to yourself."

'And to Dean. ' I thought but I tried not to think about him and what we just done it making it seem real if I did.

Starting the water I got her in the shower with much difficulty me getting just as wet.

I once again got her in dry clothes and back in bed her mumbling incoherent thoughts.

Sighing I took a deep breath not wanting to yell at her. I wanted to make sure she could understand what I was saying.

Trying to control myself I moved to my dresser and pulled out some warmer pjs.

I was halfway dressed when I soft knock filled the room.

I spun around quickly to find Dean shirtless leaning on the door frame.

"How is she?" he asks softly his eyes jumping between her and me.

To angry with my sister to noticed I quickly pull on my tank top.

"She is dealing with a hangover mixed with coming down she's lucky she's not dead." I say pulling out my laundry basket from the corner.

"Do you want me to take her to the hospital?"

"No, I want to wash these clothes and get some sleep. You can sleep in here with her." I say pushing past him and to the front door.

"You sure you want to go out there now? It's 4AM and a storm just came threw."

"Yes. I need time to think." I say flinching at how harsh I sounded but I was too mad to be nice.

Clenching his jaw Dean nodded. Going of that he seemed mad as well but when he softly brushed his lips across my forehead made me think differently.

“Be careful.” He says moving back into my bedroom.

When I got back from washing and drying my clothes Dean was asleep. Unlike what I requested he was passed out sideways in the chair.

Sighing I bite my lip but stop it being sore.

'That's what you get for sleeping with your sisters husband.'

Shaking my head I decided to check on Rebecca once before I went to bed.

Grabbing an extra blanket I laid it over Dean.

'Why did you have to be her husband?' I think moving to sit on the couch.

Curling up I try not to think about what I've done.  But every time I close my eyes I see and feel him touching me.

It's almost seven before I fall asleep. My last thought being how am I going to tell Rebecca.

I wake up to the smell of coffee. Its rich aroma filling my nose.  Rubbing my eye I open them to see my living room.

Tilting my head up to look in my on-joining kitchen I see two figures at my island.

Blinking the blurriness from my eyes I see that it's Dean and Rebecca.

Remembering last night and knowing it wasn't just a messed up dreams I groan. My arm covering my face.

"Sis you awake?" Rebecca says sounding horse most likely from puking.

"Sadly yes." I mumble sitting up my body aching from sleeping on the couch.

Moving the blanket off me I wonder who put it there my mind going to Dean since its the same one I gave him.

"What time is it?" I ask shuffling towards them.

I can feel Dean trying to catch my eyes with his but I ignore it.

I was too tired and aggravated to deal with lasts nights activities.

"It's about 10:30." he says

"When do you have to work?" Rebecca asks handing me a cup of coffee.

She looked as bad as I felt but she was trying to get on my good side.

"4 thank God." I say fixing the coffee how I liked it.

"Oh good. You had a late night huh?"

"Why would think that?" I ask not hiding the sharpness of my tone.

"Sorry we can talk about that later...." She says Dean still trying to get my attention.

"And what else are we going to talk about?" I ask wanting to glare at her but she wasn't the only guilty one last night.

"Umm like the guy you are seeing?"

"What?" both me and Dean say at the same time, me almost spilling coffee everywhere.

"Well you had a guy over last night right?"

"No why?" I ask my voice shaking a bit.

"You are covered in hickies." she says making all the blood drain from my face.

Out of the corner of my eye I see Dean smirk into his coffee.

"You need to leave. Both of you." I say turning toward my room.

"Wait Scarlet is this about last night? It wasn't my fault." Rebecca says grabbing my arm.

Glancing down at her I see the pen prickles of needle marks on her inner arm.

Clenching my jaw I jerk away from her.

"To be honest yeah it kinda is."

"Im sorry I can't help it. It's a disease." she says her eyes full of unshed tears.

" A disease? You think shooting up and popping pills is a disease? Cancer is a disease. It's something you can't control. You choose to shoot up or snort something or drink yourself to death. Mom had a disease. You, your pathetic. Now get out of my house." I say calmly walking into my room and shutting the door.

I didn't bother listening if they left. Setting an alarm on my phone I lied face first on my bed and quickly fell into a much needed dreamless sleep.

I woke up to ringing. Feeling around for my phone I answered it without looking at the caller.

"Hello?" I asked my eyes still closed.

"About time you wake up." says a clear voice.

"Who is this?"

"it's Ruby don't you have my number? Hey are you sleeping?" shs asks

"Trying to. I keep getting woken up."

"Well the boss is pissed at you for being an hour late."

"What?" I ask jumping up and looking at the clock on the wall.

It showing 5:10 on it.

"Oh my gosh I'm so screwed. Tell Richard I'll be there in 15 minutes and that he can take it out of my check just keep me from getting fired." I say the whole time getting dressed.

"I'll try but he is not in a good mood the wife came back in town."

"Just great. I'll be there soon promise." I say hanging up the phone.

Grabbing my keys and sprinted out the door.

Locking it I almost didn't noticed the black impala parked on a few feet away.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Dean leaning on the hood.

"Giving you a ride. Ruby called Sam. Sam called me."

"Why the hell are you not at work?"

"I'm my own boss remember."

"Well most of us don't have that luxury I'm already late."

"Did you not here the part about me giving you a ride."

"I'm not getting a ride from you." I say remembering the last time we were left alone.

"Why not?"

"Because."

"Because last night?"

"We are not talking about that."

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to." I snap at him.

Running his hand down his face he nods.

"Alright well get in the car and I promise we won't talk."

"Fine." I say getting in the impala it's leather seats cool to the touch.

"How long have you been out here?"

"About half an hour." he says backing up.

"Why didn't you come in?"

"Because I was talking to your sister." he says pulling into the street.

"Oh." I say ignoring the tightens in my stomach like I was the one that got cheated on.

"How is she?"

"You should ask her yourself. All I got was mumbled gibberish."

"Of course I have to work today." I say laying my head on the window glad it was cold.

"Don't you work everyday?"

"Sadly yes.... "

"You should take some time off."

"How would I pay my bills?"

"I could give you some money."

"Absolutely not."

"It's the least I could do after last night." He says looking at me.

"Excuse me?" I asked shocked he is even suggesting that.

"Scarlet it's not that big a deal." he says pulling up to a red light.

"You know what I'd rather walk thanks. " I say quickly getting out of the car.

Slamming the door I quickly walk to work not realizing I forgot my keys and phone until I get there.

Walking into work I quickly was met by Ruby.

"Hey you made it." shs says smiling.

"Yeah I made it."

"Hey you okay?"

"I'm fine just did something really dumb last night."

"One night stand?" she asks

"Oh I hope so. " I say putting my coat on the rack. I know deep down I would want Dean again that’s why I was going to make sure I stayed away from him.

Going behind the counter to clock in I can't help but feel like everyone is watching me judging me for what I did.

Do you look different after you sleep with your sisters husband and then kick her out?

I didn't get time to answer that before Richard walks up to me and ask to see me in his office.

I sit in the chair across from him my leg bouncing.

"I saw that you were late today quite a bit late."

"Sir I know I'm so sorry. I just had a lot going on with my sister last night and-"

"Your sister is that so?  Because it looks to me you just got done from rolling around in the bed with someone." he says shocking me since he never talks this way.

"Excuse me? " I ask for the second time today.

"Me and my wife have been talking and if you can't pull your weight I'm gonna have to let you go."

"Sir not to  disrespect but I haven't missed work in over a year."

"That maybe so but you don't do your job when you are here."

"Sir I don't know where this is coming from and I will be happy to improve but-"

"But I think you are going to have to prove to me you are worth keeping around."

"Of course sir whatever you need."

"Lock the door then come here." he says calmly.

"What?"

"Lock the door and come here." he says slowly like I'm stupid.

"Sir I'm not sure what this has to do with my job."

"It has to do everything with it. I'm your boss and if you can't follow orders then there is no longer a place for you here. " he says looking me dead in the eye.

Then I guess you made your decision." I say standing up.

"I guess so. I'll send you your check."

Leaving his office I don't even respond to Ruby asking me if I'm Okay.

Grabbing my coat I head back home my mind numb but racing at the same.  I wondering if I'm being punished for sleeping with Dean.

When I get home I quickly realized I'm without a phone and keys.

Great I think sliding down my door.

Laying my head on my knees I let my mind drift.

It filling with the thoughts of Dean.

Shaking my head I sit up just in time to hear the familiar rumble of the impala. It shortly coming into view.

I let myself watch Dean climb out of the car.

"What happened to work?" he asks walking up to me.

"I needed time to think." I lie standing up.

"Oh well here." he says handing me my phone and keys

"Thanks" I say opening the door aware of him following me.

"You still pissed at me?" he asks surprising me.

"Probably." I say throwing my keys and phone on the island.

"Are we going to talk about last night? "

"I don't want to talk about that."

"Well we are going to have to."

"I know." I say sighing standing in the middle of the living room my back to him.

"Scar you gotta talk. " he says touching my arm.

"Not today."

"When? "

"I don't know..."

"Scar.”

"No Dean don't okay. " I say pulling away from him.  Away from the tingles and the warm feeling in my stomach from my skin making contact with his.  Away from the edge. Away from the want to wrap myself around him and forget about everything.

My job, my house, my loyalty to my sister.

"What happened today? Don't tell me you needed to think you think better at work then home."

"I lost my job, okay?" I yell turning around to face him.

"I lost my job because I wouldn't sleep with my boss. I'm going to lose my house and probably lose my sister as well."

"Why would you do that?" He asks taking a step closer to me but not touching me.

"Because I slept with her husband."

"Your not the only one who is guilty. She won't blame you."

"Yeah that's what you think. She knows I've liked you since I met you she is not going to think it was an accident."

"It wasn't an accident. I wasn't lying last night."

"Dean don't. You don't have to act like you love me or something. You- We were both stressed out last night. We had sex with my sister in the next room. We are not going to live happily ever after. From my day today I think I'll get the opposite." I say wrapping my arms around myself.

"You don't believe in that stuff do you? We messed up. I messed up I should have said no or left or something."

"Why didn't you?" I ask looking up at him his heavy green eyes meeting mine.

"Because I didn't want to." he says clenching his jaw.

Feeling my heart pound against my ribs. I look away from him knowing if I didn't I would give in.

Dean was my weakness.

Seeing him move closer I feel him grab my elbow. His thumb softly rubbing my arm.

"I'm going to tell her. I won't tell her it was you. I'm sorry sweetheart." He says softly brushing his lips over my cheek.

Closing my eyes I try to remember the way he smells scared this is the last time I'll see him.

My heart racing at the thought. Fear filling my chest.

"Dont." I say looking up at him.

"Don't tell her. We'll just never talk about it. Act like it didn't happen. Don't tell her please." I say grabbing his arm.

"Why? "

"Because if you tell her she'll make you leave and if you do I'll never see you again and I can't… I can’t live with that." I say my eyes burning from unshed tears.

Smiling softly he nods.

"Alright. It never happened."

"It never happened." I say nodding taking a step away from him.

Before either one of us could say anything else Dean's phone rings.

"It's Sam. I'll be right back." he says stepping outside.

When he does I take a much needed breath. My heart feeling like it was going to explode. Running my fingers through my hair I move into my room and start taking off my uniform.

Hearing a knock I roll my eyes surprised Dean locked himself out.

'Okay just breathe Scarlett. It's just Dean nothing happened you are just friends nothing more.' I think to myself opening the door.

I take a step back when I meet Richards dark eyes.

"What are you doing here?" I ask

"We need to talk." he says pushing past me and into my living room.

"About what?"

"About how rudely you treated me this afternoon. I was trying to help you and you threw it back at me"

"Okay you asked me to sleep with you to keep my job and I said no.  So get out of my house."

"Or what you'll get the idiot outside to beat me up."

"Don't be ridiculous I can take care of myself."

"Well then do the right thing." he says pulling me closer by my arm.

"I am." I say clenching my jaw.

"I'm trying to help you."

"No you are trying to help yourself. I don't know what kind of game your playing but I'm not some whore you can buy." I say jerking away from him.

Grabbing me roughly he jerks me towards him glaring at me.

"Your going to regret this."

I didn't get a chance to respond before he slammed his mouth into mine. Trying to push him away he holds onto me tightly his fingernails digging into my arms. I push at his chest and bite his lip. Pulling my head back I scream hoping Dean didn't leave. Smacking me he yanks me back and shakes me.

"Shut up!" he yells at me.

I try to get away from him hot tears staining my face. I jump when he is jerked off me. Hearing shattered glass I see my lamp fly to crash into the floor.

Blinking I take a step back realizing Dean is standing over my boss hitting him repeatedly.

It taking a moment for me to do anything.

"Dean stop." I say running up to grab his arm.

"Not until he apologizes." he growls out jerking Richard back to his feet.

"Tell her your sorry."

When he didn't get a response he slams his fist into his jaw.

"Dean, don't. He's not worth you getting in trouble."I say grabbing his bicep.

"If you ever show up here again. I'll kill you." he says letting him go Richard barley getting out if the apartment before Dean slams the door. Locking it he turns to face me pulling me into his chest.

As soon as he does the smell of him wraps around me. Leather, oil and whisky fills my nose. I can’t help but burry my face into him. Taking a shaky breath I grab his shirt so hard my fingertips turn white.

"I'm sorry." he says just holding onto me.

"For what?" I choke out no longer crying just jittery.

"For scaring you."

"You didn't scare me. You saved me."

"So your not mad at me for beating the crap out of him?"

Laughing softly I shaking my head sniffling.

"No, I'm not mad at you." I say pulling away from him.

Wiping my face with the back of my hand I smile at him.

Returning my smile he brushes my cheek with his thumb.

"You alright?"

I nod tucking my hair behind my ear. Taking a breath I smile softly.

"A little shaky but I'm okay. Thank you."

"You want me to stay here?"

"That's probably not a good idea."

"Yeah probably not but who said anything about the good idea?" he asks grinding.

"I actually don't even want to be here right now. "

"You can come to the shop. I'm sure Bobby would be happy to see you."

"Are you sure?"

"Sure enough." he says smiling.

"Okay." I say pulling away from him us still pretty close to touching.

I grab my bag throwing my keys and phone into it.

I try not to think about Dean pushing my shattered lamp out of the way.

Getting into the impala I take a deep breath feeling like the air is clearer here.

"You want something to eat?" he asks pulling out into the street.

I started to say no but I quickly remembered I haven't ate anything since dinner last night.

"Sure." I say shrugging.

Driving in silence for a while he pulls to my favorite fast food place and surprises me by ordering exactly what I like.

"How did you know all that?" I ask while we pull up to the window.

"Because you like the same healthy stuff Sam likes."

"I don't think pasta is healthy."

"Better than pie maybe." I say laughing as he looks at me from the corner of his eye.

"Leave my pie out of this." he says handing me my food.

"You are not going to eat."

"I got food while bringing your keys back."

"Oh. Thank you for that by the way."

"Don't thank me I'm glad I was there to stop that asshole from touching you."

"Right." I say picking at my food thinking about what could have happened if Dean wasn't there.

I slowly eat trying to figure out what made him do it in the first place.

"Son of a bitch!" Dean yells slamming on the brakes as a bike pulls in front of him.

"Are you okay?" he asks looking at me.

"I'm okay." I say picking the food off my shirt.

"Nothing soap can't fix." I say looking up at him.

My eyes catching the site of red on his knuckles.

"Oh my gosh Dean!" I say pulling his hand to me.

"What?" he asks looking at me then the road.

"Look at your hand" I say looking at the busted knuckles.

"Darlin' relax it's fine."

"No it's not you got hurt." I say softly touching around the broken skin.

Moving his hand he softly pats my leg and returns it to the wheel.

"Dont worry about it." he says silence falling around us.

It stays that way the only sound is our breathing and me taking a bite of food.  

I can't help but feel bad. Like I done something wrong.

Well of course I done something wrong I slept with my sisters husband and then told him to act like it didn't happen.

Most men would he happy for that but I can't help but feel like Dean was angry with me.

When we got to the car repair shop Dean quickly got out and slammed the door making me jump.

I watched him walk into the office but stayed where I was.

'He really was mad at me I guess' I think slowly getting out of the car.

I shut the door and take a deep breath of fresh air to clear my mind.

It working for a total of two seconds.

My mind going back to everything that happened today and last night.

Last night a mistake but I would be lying if I said I didn't want it.

It wasn't even the sex it was just getting close to someone. Getting close to someone like Dean would have made me happy but getting that close to someone you love is different.

'Oh gosh I'm in love with Dean Winchester.' I think laying my forhead on the black roof of the car.

"Well look what the cat dragged in." says a familiar voice.

Looking up I meet Bobby's kind eyes.

"Hey Bobby." I say accepting his hug.

Bobby was always one of my regulars at the dinner but after Rebecca and Dean got together it felt like he was more family then I had in awhile.

"Someone looks like they could use a drink." he says holding me at arm's length and looking me over.

My arms stung a bit from earlier but I didn't say anything.

"How about two?" I ask laughing.

"Have a rough day?" he asks taking me around back to his house.

The place used to be Bobby's but he sold it to Dean and just leaves as a shut in. Or as he says a paranoid bastard

"You could say that. " I say walking into his house.

Books and clutter everywhere. His wife died a few years back making the house lacking in presentableness but it felt homie somehow.

"Dean told me about what happened." he says handing me a beer.

"What?" I ask almost choking.

"Your sister started using again." he says making me remember he gave me advice on how to get her clean last time.

"Oh right. Yeah I don't know what I'm gonna do." I say leaning on the counter.

"Ain't nothing you can do. Beat some sense into her maybe but she is gonna do whatever she wants."

"Yeah I know.  But she's the only family I got. Without her I'm left alone with nothing." I say taking another drink.

"Well how do you plan on fixing it?"

"Lock her up and detox her I guess." I say laying my head on the fridge.

"What's Dean have to say about this?"

"Me and Dean are kinda not talking at the moment."

"Why the hell is that?" he said asking the one question I didn't want to answer.

"I don't know." I say honestly not really knowing why he was mad at me. Though I had an idea.

"Now don't go acting like a couple of babies fighting. Becca is gonna need the both of you together if you want to save her. Speck of which where is she anyway?"

"I don't know."

"Hell don't you know anything?"

"I thought I did but I'm starting to think I don't know anything."

"Damn it Scarlet stop speaking in damn riddles and tell me what's going on." he says looking like he is about to start yelling.

Sighing I bite my lip knowing I'm going to have to tell someone.

"You can't tell Rebecca or Sam or even Dean I told you." I say

"I ain't into keeping secrets from my boys."

"Trust me it won't be hard to keep."

"Well what the hell is then?"

"I slept with Dean last night." I say slowly.

"Well it's about time you two get your head out of your ass and finely do something about each other."

"Wait your not mad?"

"Why the hell would I be mad? I knew you two would end up together. I don't know why he decided on your sister in the first place. I told him he was making a mistake. But he is stubborn just like John can't tell him anything." he says walking into his living room.

"Wait if you knew that then why not tell me?"

"Because he was marrying your sister I'm a drunk not an idjit." he say looking at me like I'm stupid.

"So what do you plan on doing?"

"I don't plan on doing anything. I had sex with my sisters husband. It's not like I can tell her or anyone else. Me and Dean agreed to pretend it never happened."

"If you think that's gonna work your a bigger idiot than I thought."

"It has to work. I have to get Rebecca clean."

"Say you do that then what? "he asks leaning back in his chair.

"What do you mean?  Then nothing."

"You really think what you two did will just disappear?"

"It has to."

Squinting at me closes his eyes.

"You let me know how that goes." he says pointing at me with his beer.

Sighing I get up knowing Bobby has spoken his mind no use trying to change it.

Walking outside in the sea of cars I jump when I hear a loud bang.

Ignoring my instincts I follow the sound breaking glass filling my ears followed by another bang and something snapping.

Walking around a pile of cars I see someone beating up an old truck with a tire iron. I quickly realized its Dean.

I hide behind the cars wondering why he is doing that.  He keeps hitting it denting it up. His muscles straining and his face red.

"Son of a bitch!" he screams loudly making me jump.

Throwing his weapon of choice down he stands there panting heavily.

Deciseding it's safe not wanting to leave him like this I slowly move closer to him.

"Dean." I say softly scared he'll lunged at a loud noise.

"Are you okay?" I ask when he doesn't respond.

"I'm fine." he says not moving.

"Is this about last night or something?"

"I don't want to talk Scar." he says his voice making me jump though it wasn't loud.

"Okay we won't talk. " I say taking the last few steps to be behind him.

"I don't think you should be alone." I ask my voice shaking.

With my heart racing I move around him and sit in the truck the doors missing. I look at the other cars, or the ground or sky but never at Dean. I knew he needed space but I also knew he didn’t need to be left by himself. God knows what he would do if he was left alone with his thoughts and anger.

“Your scared of me.” He says running his hand down his face.

“Why would you think that?” I ask my voice sounding as shocked as I felt.

“Your shaking.” He says walking up to me.

I jump when he grabs my hand off my lap but it was surprise more than fear.

“Look.” He says dropping my arm.

Holding it in the air myself I watch my hand shake slightly.

“Sorry.” I say crossing my arms over my chest.

“Don’t apologize.” He says clenching his jaw and grabbing his jacket.

In a matter of seconds I go from trying to keep him from feeling alone to being left behind.

I watch him disappear in the sea of cars half wondering how I’m going to find my way back to Bobby’s or the shop. The other half wondering what I did to make him so angry at me.

I sat in the truck for at least an hour. Thinking about everything that happened and everything that happened today. I felt like I was being punished. The only thing I could think of was what I did with Dean. I betrayed my sister. Not even that I did it while she was recovering from an almost overdose in the next room.

But I wasn’t the only guilty one. Dean told me he didn’t want to stop. So did that mean he had feelings for me? Or was he just in a low place and needed his own kind of fix?

When I heard footsteps I looked up to see a mess of brown hair.

"There you are." Sam says smiling at me.

"Here I am... "I say sighing.

"You alright?" He asks climbing into the truck with me.

"Define okay?"

"Okay like I can fix whatever is bothering you."

"Then I don't know if I'm okay." I say honestly.

"Dose it have something to do with why Dean peeled out of here like a bat out of hell?"

"That's part of it."

"What's the other part?"

"Rebecca is using again. Going off last night she is using whatever is cheap."

"Oh Scarlet I'm sorry." he says touching my shoulder.

"Don't be. I don't even know how I feel about it yet."

"You wanna talk about it?"

"What's there to talk about? My sister is on drugs, I lost my job and your brother is pissed at me."

"Well maybe I can help with one of those."

"Oh yeah what's that?"

"Find out why Dean is mad."

"I know why and before you ask it's okay I'll figure it out."

"Well what can I do? "

"Take me home?"

"Of course." he says smiling.

[pot-of-gluttony]

Navigating

Prompt:

Day 1 - Precanon

Day 3 - House is Not a Home

Rating: G

Category: Gen

Chapters: 1

Characters: Katsuya Jounouchi, Shizuka Kawai, Ms. Kawai, Mr. Jounouchi

Summary: A visit to the park goes awry, but it doesn’t matter...

Warnings: Heavily implied domestic/child abuse

Author’s Notes:

Hahahaha. I can’t believe I’m actually trying to do another event after my previous disaster.

How do you do summaries?

I hope it’s not too distracting that he’s referred to as Katsuya throughout the thing. I figured since he’s interacting with his family, and since his mother and sister probably still used his dad’s name before the divorce, it would just be more fitting.

Also on AO3!

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Howling shouts accompanied by falling cabinets, shattering glass and ceramic, and a muffled distant voice.

Katsuya Jounouchi ran all around the apartment -- since when was it so big? -- trying to keep things from crashing into the floor. The walls glowed many shades of red and orange with the occasional pink that would blink in and out in-between the harsher fiery colors. It was hard to keep up with everything. It all came falling faster and faster, breaking against the floor, rebuilding itself bigger and more unstable, and then falling again due to the unending earthquakes that made it impossible for him to get to any one spot on time. The angry voices kept fueling each other, though one was always more volatile than the other -- always in control.

He made it to the little cabinet that held the trophy he got last year at school for winning a race. It was very crucial that it was safe; if it got damaged, who would remember how he was the best 7-year-old in track? Although he could win that again this year, so maybe it wasn’t too important.

It wasn’t just the trophy, though; the cabinet also held all the homemade pottery he made with Shizuka and Mom, back when Mom still had time to do pottery with them. They had only done one piece without her supervision since then and he got an earful for letting Shizuka play with plaster and paint. But when their mother tried to take the lumpy, green torpedo -- it was gonna be a plane; they used a bird-shaped mold and he was gonna polish the wings and details to make a plane, but he screwed up the wings so he opted to turn it into a torpedo which was way cooler anyway -- Shizuka cried her little heart out and Mom decided to keep it after all.

Katsuya looked into the cabinet’s little glass doors to make sure everything was okay. Strangely enough, the torpedo was now a perfectly sculptured little submarine and a different, darker shade of green.

Bi... other...

Maybe he could ride it? Nah, it was too small.

B-g.. other...

It looked as though it was steadily growing, though. Maybe if he took it out, it would have enough space to grow and he could board it with all the other crafts and the trophy.

Big brother...

It finally dawned on him that Shizuka’s voice had been calling for him for some time now, but he couldn’t see her anywhere. He wanted to get out of there now. If the submarine grew as soon as he took it out, it would’ve been too heavy for him to carry it as he looked for her. Then again, maybe he could’ve gone looking for her from inside the submarine. He could’ve navigated the apartment and not worry about the earthquakes, which had transformed from rattling his body from the inside out to outright robbing him of whatever stability he had.

But what if the submarine was on autopilot? Once he got in, it would take him somewhere safe -- he was absolutely sure of it -- but what about Shizuka. Would the submarine go back for her later? Should he even risk it?

“Katsuya, please wake up!”

His eyes shot open and he instinctively pushed himself upward. He ended up with half his body propped up on his elbows, struggling not to fall back. His vision was spinning wildly, the rampant noises outside their bedroom door causing his head to throb harder and harder without reprieve.

He wished he could cry.

“What’s wrong, Shizuka?” he mumbled with a strained, sleepy voice.

“I think Dad’s back home,” she whispered. “I think Mom’s all alone with ‘im right now.”

“It doesn’t matter. He won’t hurt her,” Katsuya replied, mostly believing his own answer. “If we go out, we’ll be hurt a lot more than her. Besides, Mom grounded me the last time I tried to help her agains’ Dad. I dun think she likes it when we meddle. She gets really upset and--”

“I know,” Shizuka whispered with a hoarse voice. She wanted to cry, too, he noted. And she was having a harder time than him not doing so. “But I wanna see that she’s okay.”

“Okay,” he replied.

He closed his eyes tightly, took a deep breath and willed the dizziness away as much as he could. It didn’t do much, but it gave him a momentary reprieve; enough to sit up fully. After a few seconds, he scramble off the bed and onto his feet. He stumbled towards the door, Shizuka squeezing his arm so tightly he was almost afraid she would yank it off. After a few minutes of hesitation, he tried to turn the doorknob.

It wouldn’t move.

His eyes widened. The spinning had stopped, but the throbbing continued and soon his chest started to hurt a little. “It’s locked. Why is it locked?” he tried turning the knob forcefully, unscrewed his arm from Shizuka’s grip and tried with both hands. He pulled on it, hung off of it. Shizuka placed her hands over his and tried to help turn it.

It wouldn’t move.

“Why is it locked?!” Katsuya yelled and started banging on the door with his fist. “The door’s locked! Mom! Mooooom! Why’s the door locked?!”

He heard his mother shouting from the other side. “Katsuya, go to sleep!”

“Why is it locked?!”

“Don’t wake up Shizuka!”

“Mom!” Shizuka yelled, her voice cracking as tears started to brim her eyes. “Mom, why’re we locked inside?!”

“Why the hell is the kids’ room locked?!” a furious voice bellowed. “How did you even get that key?!”

Silence.

“Mom?!” Shizuka sobbed.

“Honey, just go to sleep-- Where the hell are you going?! Stay away from her!”

“Why are my kids locked in their room?!”

“Get away from that door!”

“Are you hiding my kids from me, woman?! Is that it, is that what you’re saying?!”

There was another crash, this one closer to their room. Katsuya shoved Shizuka away from the door, and almost immediately it started to rattle.

“I told you to stay away--”

“Open the goddamn door!”

“First, you’re coming back to the living room and calming down. I am not letting you near Shizuka like that!”

“If you don’t open the door, I swear I will break it down! Don’t test me!”

Katsuya grabbed Shizuka’s hand and hurried to the window. It was supposed to be locked shut, but their father had busted the lock once when he forgot his house keys and wanted in. At the time, he had given Katsuya a grim look and with a low, gravelly voice told him not to tell his mother. Katsuya scowled at him but kept his mouth shut nonetheless. Shizuka just did her best to stay clear of her father as he had stalked out of their room. They weren’t able to sleep afterwards that night.

Right now, however, he was strangely grateful he hadn’t told his mother -- she would have fixed the lock.

He invoked all of his strengths to open to pull up window. It lead directly into the fire escape, which made some rickety sounds when he jumped off the window frame and landed on them. Otherwise it seemed pretty stable.

“Come on, Shizuka, we gotta hurry,” he whispered to her.

“But... where... where’a we goin’?”

He held out his arms for her. “To the park,” he answered with a hushed tone. “We can stay safe there until Dad stops being mad.”

The banging on the door would pause for screams between the two parents, followed by more banging and the serious threat of the door being knocked over. “You have five minutes to get me that key!”

“Come on, Shizuka.” Katsuya tried his best to sound as calm and collected as he could, hoping not to be given away by his shaking hands and the terror that was doubtlessly creeping up on every feature of his face.

Finally, Shizuka climbed over the window frame and reached for his arms. He helped her stand on the cold railing and gently pulled her along with him as they hurried down the flight of metal stairs. The more he breathed in the cold air, the more he felt like something chilly was cutting part of the inside of his head, but it didn’t hurt much. More than anything, it steadied his body more and more, making his skin feel warmer and sweatier.

He stopped Shizuka before she walked off the last step as there was a freezing puddle waiting at the end -- one he hadn’t noticed until he had already plunged into it.

Katsuya bent down and looked over his shoulder. “Quick, get on my back. I’ll carry you there.”

She shook her head. “That’s too far.”

“You’re not wearing any shoes!”

“You’re not wearing shoes, neither!”

“It’s fine!” he insisted. “I can run fast. That makes my feet really strong. Come on, I’ll show you.”

“You won’t get hurt?”

“Nope. It won’t be too long anyways cuz we just gotta” -- he paused and gestured at the light post at the end of the alleyway -- “we just gotta, like, gotta follow the lights all the way there.” 

“Promise?”

“Promise.”

Shizuka pressed the palms of her hands against his shoulders, then tried to find a way to hook her legs to his hips. They almost fell back but Katsuya was able to balance them at the last second until she could fix her hold on him.

He stood back up and began jogging lightly down the alleyway, bare feet scampering over the concrete as he tried to focus more on the posts and less on the deep dark that surrounded the buildings.

It took about eight minutes to reach the park, although he almost regretted it when they got there. It was darker than the streets, the ground was cold and the grass was wet and itchy. There were noises everywhere, ranging from the animals hiding in the bushes to the creak of the swings moved ever so slightly by the slow, freezing wind.

For a moment, he considered backtracking to the store they had passed along the way. He had been there several times in the past. It was only to hang out with classmates, seeing as he couldn’t actually afford to buy anything. However, sometimes he went in alone -- on the particularly annoying days when school had been tedious and he knew nothing good waited for him back home, it had been a good place to stop for a quick break. The smell of freshly baked pastries and hot chocolate, the light conversations and laughter from the customers, and the soft music that always played in the background were nice. Unfortunately, it wasn’t worth it for two kids to go in this late at night without any grown-ups to accompany them. They could get in trouble. Or worse -- they could be taken directly back home.

As soon as it became clear to him that waiting out their father’s tantrum at the park was truly the best option, he realized Shizuka had already left his side and awaited him at the swings. How she didn’t seem the least bit worried about what lurked in the dark puzzled him and he only willed himself into following her in because big brothers take care of their little sisters.

“It was wet,” Shizuka said when he approached her.

“What was wet?”

“The swing. It was like it rained, but it never rained all day long so I don’t know why it was like that.”

“That happens to the stuff that’s left outside at night.”

“How does that work?”

“I don’t know,” he admitted. “Maybe sometimes it rains a little and we just don’t notice it because that’s when we’re inside.”

Shizuka remained quiet. As his eyes adjusted better to the dark, he could see her tired gaze fixed firmly on her wriggling toes hanging slightly over the ground.

“Maybe I could know if I go to school,” she finally replied. “Maybe if I could go to school, then Mom would’n have to take care of me all the time and Dad would’n be mad all the time and we would’n have to hide or run when they fight cuz then they would’n fight.”

“I don’t think it’s cuz you can’t go to school,” he said. “Sometimes jerks are always jerks. It doesn’t matter what you do or what I do or what Mom does cuz none of that’s gonna fix him.” He watched her quietly for a few moments. “Who said you can’t go to school?”

She slowly began swinging. “There’s a girl in my ther’py thing and her mom said to our mom that she has as many years as I do, and-and she also said she was goin’ to school after her next birthday. But I heard Mom say my birthday is before that girl’s birthday so if she’s goin’ to school, then I should go, too. But I’m not...”

Katsuya tried to swing at the same pace as his sister. It was a little tricky to get a hang of it since he constantly kept swinging harder and faster than her. After a few tries, however, he got a hold of her rhythm and after confirming that they were moving at the same pace, he leaned his head towards her as much as he could without disrupting either of their movements. She hadn’t looked at him once while speaking; she wasn’t looking at him now, either. This was one of those times when she didn’t feel right looking at anyone. Their mom usually held her face to her to speak to her, but he could tell Shizuka didn’t like that. So he got as close as he could to make sure she could hear him clearly without having to look at him.

“That doesn’t matter.”

“It does matter. That’s why kids go to school. It’s i’portant.”

“It’s only important if you’re okay, like if you’re not sick. When I get sick, I dun go to school. You’re very sick, so you can’t go to school. That’s okay.”

“But my eyes are better...” Shizuka whispered. Her swing came to an abrupt stop as she jumped back onto the ground. “I mean, not all the time, but they do better now. The doctor said they were better now than before. Can’t I try to go to school then? After my birthday?”

Katsuya stopped his swing and joined her on the ground. “You could study at home,” he replied. “I heard from my friend Miho some kids do that. Their parents are their teachers so they don’t have to go to school. Maybe Mom’s gonna teach you at home. That would be pretty cool, actually. School is really annoying.”

Shizuka gave him a mixed look of confusion and frustration. “’Cept you like school. You always come home late cuz you like staying at school more than staying at home.”

“I dun--” He looked around to make sure no adults were within earshot. “I dun actually stay at school after school is over. Sometimes... I’m not even at school when I should be at school.”

“Why?”

“Cuz school is annoying and if you don’t know a lot, teachers get mad at you all the time. And I dunno a lot. So I try to go to school almost every day, but some days, I just hang out outside with my friends. And when school is over, I dun stay at school, I go to other places before coming home.”

“I wanna do that.” Shizuka looked down. “I wanna go to a place that’s not home.”

Katsuya gently reached for Shizuka’s hand and tugged it. He started walking slowly towards a dome-shaped play area. She followed his steps, her eyes never lifting. Thankfully, the dome was close enough to the sidewalk that some of the light from a nearby post reached it. He crawled inside and she followed him and they sat against the wall of the dome, slumped into one another.

“One day, I’m gonna take you somewhere else to play,” he said. “And when your eyes aren’t sick anymore and you go to school, every time we get out, I’m gonna take you to a new place every time. And-and! And when I turn into a grown-up, I’m gonna get a big, nice house without Dad and you can come live with me. And you’ll never get sick cuz I’ll take care of you.”

Shizuka yawned and rested her head on his shoulder. She brought her knees to her chest and curled up to keep warm. Katsuya wrapped an arm around her and lied back.

“Can Mom come live with us?” Shizuka asked. Katsuya tilted his head back. He stared at the roof of the dome silently. “Big brother?”

“If she wants to,” he spoke softly, “then I guess she can.”

“You dun want her to live with us?”

“I think she doesn’t like living with me too much.”

Shizuka shifted and wrapped her arms around his torso, settling her head against the crook of his neck. “I do.”

“I know,” he squeezed her closer to her, causing her to erupt in tired little giggles. “It doesn’t matter anyways.”

----------

This time around, Katsuya was able to board the green submarine along Shizuka. He wasn’t sure how the submarine found them while he was showing her his classroom, but then again, it made sense it would know where he studied seeing as he did make the thing.

It never took them far enough. In fact, it never took them far at all. It orbited the building where their apartment is from high above. He could see his parents running up and down the same stairs they took to escape. His father screamed at the top of his lungs, rambling incoherently the entire time; his mother kept alternating between yelling at her husband to shut up and calling for Shizuka’s name.

“Do you want to tell her you’re okay?” Katsuya asked his sister as she hid away from the submarine’s windows.

“Not if she makes us go back.”

K-tsuy-...

He tried to ignore the overwhelming feeling of drowning that hit him in that moment.

“I... she wo-...” He gasped for air and stood on his toes to stay above the invisible water line. “She won’t!” he shouted for Shizuka to hear. “I won’t let her!”

Shizuka looked up at him from where she was curled up on the floor of the submarine. Her eyes were wide with bewilderment and she didn’t reply. He had already dropped back to his heels, but thinking she might not have heard him, he stood on his toes again and took a sufficiently big gasp of air to shout out the answer for her to hear.

Before he could, however, a hand yanked him to the ground and in a second swoop dragged him out of the park dome.

“What were you thinking?!” his mother yelled at him. “Do you know how badly your little stunt could have hurt Shizuka?! She’s your baby sister, you have to take good care of her!”

Katsuya tried to blink his grogginess away and gaped at his mother kneeling over him, accompanied by a pair of policemen, one of which was holding a very drowsy Shizuka. It was light out now, though not very bright. Just enough that he could actually see the park. The light posts would be turning off soon.

“I-I thought--!”

“No!” she said. “You didn’t think. If you had thought about what you were doing, you would have stayed in your room.”

“And wait until Dad broke down the door?!” he yelled.

Her grip on his arm loosened and she stared at him exhausted.

“Ma’am, what’s this about the boy’s father?” one of the policemen asked.

“It’s” -- she paused and sighed -- “I-It’s just a nightmare he keeps having. We’re fine. He’s just... a very adventurous boy and I should have never left him alone with his sister.”

She helped him stand up, grabbed his hand while averting her gaze from him, and reached for Shizuka with her other hand. The policeman handed her over and Shizuka hesitantly reached back for her mother, coiling her little arms around her mother’s neck as she picked her up.

“Do you need us to escort you back home?”

“No, I can make do. Thank you so much for your help, officers.”

What followed was an agonizingly silent walk back home. Katsuya could swear they were moving even slower than when he was trudging through the dark with his sister on his back. He kept stealing glances at his mother and sister, but only Shizuka returned them. If he weren’t holding his mother’s hand, then he wouldn’t be sure she remembered he was still there.

“Mama,” Shizuka whispered halfway through the trek, “please dun be mad at Katsuya.”

She stopped. Katsuya looked up at her, but her gaze hadn’t changed. He tried to distract himself to keep the prickling sensation from getting worse and realized they were only a few steps away from the store.

“Everyone at school says they make the best honey toast ever there,” he said between subtle sniffles.

His mother turned towards the store and approached the door. For a moment, he dared be hopeful.

“I’ll make breakfast once we get home,” she said, eyes never prying away from the glass of the door.

“Why can’t we eat here?” Shizuka asked.

“You need sleep, sweetie.”

“I can’t sleep with Dad yelling,” she protested.

“He’s quiet now, dear.”

“Can’t we buy honey toast to go?”

“No.”

Shizuka wriggled impatiently in her mother’s hold. “Why not?! Is it cuz Katsuya wants to eat here?”

“It’s no--”

“Stop being mad at him!” she cried. “Please dun be mad at him no more!”

Their mother sighed. When she finally faced him, her eyes were hard and sharp. He turned away from her glare, anger seeping into every vein of his body.

“It’s fine, Shizuka,” he reassured. “It doesn’t matter.”

[kimbapwrites]

I Hate You || Im Youngmin

Summary: Countless fights, hateful glares and hostility were all that was exchanged between you and Youngmin since the beginning of freshman year due to a fiery competition for first place. After failing a math test, you are forced to be tutored by your red haired rival. Slowly, you feel hard feelings start to wash away and something a bit warmer replacing them. 

Paring: Youngmin x Reader 

Genre: Angst, fluff, High school AU

Word Count: 7.9k 

A/N: HI~ First of all, 7.9k words, *chokes*. This was supposed to be a “short” scenario I don’t know what happened I’m so sorry. I also apologize about the long wait, I wasn’t able to write for a few days, but I hope the long story makes up for it! This is my first time writing a fanfiction so I’m not sure if I did it right, but I tried my best and I hope you guys enjoy ^^ If you have any suggestions or comments, let me know, I’d be happy to hear your thoughts :) 

-Admin Michelle

The insides of your stomach churned as you anxiously bounced your legs, pupils shaking in fear as you glared at the paper sitting in front of you. This was the dreaded day you had been trying to avoid for the past week; the day that would decide if you lived or died:

The day the math test grades were announced.

All around you, commotion could be heard as your fellow classmates of your advanced math class discussed what number was marked at the top of their papers. You  buried your face in your hands and made a quick, desperate prayer for your grade to be saved before finally turning over the paper.

68%  

The number scribbled in red was enough to bring out loud sobs from your lips as you collapsed in your desk chair in despair. That’s it. I’m done for. Goodbye college. Goodbye top rank. Goodbye life. It was nice while it lasted.

Your mind was picking out what songs would be played at your funeral when a certain obnoxious voice interrupted your thoughts.

“Judging by your dying whale impersonation, I assume that you didn’t do too well on the test. Guess I’ll be keeping the first place rank after all.”

You lifted your head only to immediately glare at the smug boy in front of you;

Im Youngmin.

You stared into his eyes with as much hatred as your smaller body could muster, just as you had been doing since the first day of high school when you both vowed to be the best, thus forming a rivalry between you and the red haired boy. Throughout the tiring years, you and Youngmin have suffered through a multitude of advanced classes together and fought for the top rank, which constantly switched between the two of you. The fiery competition arose tension and multiple feuds to occur every day, and today was no exception. Currently, Youngmin held the prestigious title of first place and was not afraid to rub it in your face that he would be keeping it due to the poor grade you just received.

“Shut up Youngmin before I punch that smirk off your face. Is your memory so bad that you forgot that I know Taekwondo?” You replied as you crossed your arms. A smirk that matched the obnoxiousness of Youngmin’s overtook your face.

Youngmin scoffed at your attempt to be intimidating. “Barely. You took it when you were 5 and quit after a week because it was too hard. Just like you should quit trying to get first place because we all know that I’ll always be better than you.” Despite now hating each other’s guts, you and Youngmin had been close since childhood and were once inseparable. You knew everything about each other, whether you wanted to or not.

You took a step closer to him. “Alright listen Alpaca Boy, 1) I could still very easily kick your butt to space and back and 2) The only reason you’re first place now is because I spent more time volunteering at the cat shelter because I’m a good person unlike you.”

He took a step closer to you. “Alpaca Boy? Wow, that’s soooo creative. I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised since that’s probably the best your second place mind can think of.”

The space between you two was now less than a foot. “Actually, I’m very creative. That’s why I won the best writing award every year and oh, that’s right, you didn’t.”

Six inches. “Okay, fine, I’ll admit that. but remind me again, who aced the math test and who failed? Hm?”

That was it. “Come here! I’m gonna tear that dyed black hair out of your big head!” You pounced on him and him at you, ready to tear each other into pieces when you felt a pair of strong arms pull you away.

“KIDS. THAT’S ENOUGH.” Teacher Seokhoon’s deep voice rang through your ears and ended the heated up feud. “Jesus Christ, you guys do this every day. It’s like trying to tame wild monkeys I swear.” He shook his head while you and Youngmin calmed your heavy breaths. “Is first place really worth it?”

“YES.” You and Youngmin simultaneously turned and shouted in reply.

All Teacher Seokhoon could do was sigh. He turned his back to you and began walking to his large mahogany desk, expecting you and the other honors student to follow. On the way there, you and Yongmin walked side by side through the narrow aisles, your glare at him never faltering.

Once there,you all sat around Teacher Seokhoon’s desk and he began talking. “You two have been fighting every day for the past three years and quite frankly, I’m tired of it. And you guys probably are too. So, I’ve been thinking and I’ve come up with a plan to hopefully make you guys hate each other less.” You and Youngmin looked at each other, confusion and disgust in both set of eyes already.

“You’re both probably aware that, Y/N, you basicaly failed the last math test.” You lowered your had in shame but from the corner of your eye, you could see Youngmin lightly chuckle. It took all of your power not to punch that obnoxious smirk off his face right at that moment, as you decided that would only make things worse. “I don’t know what happened, but if you want to be contender for valedictorian next year, it can’t happen again,”

Oh no, please don’t say what I think you’re going to say.

“Therefore, I’ve decided that, instead of giving you both detentions for the fights in class, Youngmin will tutor you for the time being until you understand everything again.”

Oh God, he said what I thought he was going to say.

You opened your mouth, an entire list of reasons why you shouldn’t have to be tortured like that about to spew from your lips, but was silenced by Youngmin beating you to it.

“But sir! I don’t deserve to be punished like that! Send me to detention, make me clean the bathrooms, heck, give me an F, but don’t make me tutor her please I’m begging you!” The black haired student cried out in agony as he bowed down in front of the teacher.

Another wave of hate for the boy came over you as you thought about the audacity he had to go so far as to beg so he wouldn’t have to work with you. If anything, it should be you complaining about being stuck with his arrogant self. While he was still in his kneeling position, you kicked him on his side, sending him face first into the ground. A scoff and giggle that you weren’t even sorry for came out of your mouth, earning you a hateful glare from Youngmin.

Before the fight could intensify again, Teacher Seokhoon cleared his voice and shook his head with disapproval at yours and Youngmin’s childish ways. “This is exactly what I mean. You guys are juniors in high school now but you act like five year olds fighting over who gets the last sticker, it’s unbelievable. My decision is set. Youngmin, you will tutor Y/N every day after school until the final. And every time I see you two bickering I will add another study session until you finally get along. Do you understand?”

You and Youngmin looked at each other for the last time before sealing your fates, the hate slightly subsided but still there. Knowing that you had no choice in this matter, you both sighed before shaking your heads in defeat. “Y Teacher Seokhoon, we understand.”

With that one sentence, the conversation was over and the tutoring sessions were final. After giving a hostile handshake to Youngmin, you turned to go to your own group of friends, who you figured were waiting in the lunchroom.

What you failed to notice though, was Youngmin smiling to himself as he watched you leave the quiet classroom.

“I hate him I hate him I hate him,” You said as you angrily bit into the sandwich that you stole from your childhood best friend, Daniel. “I mean, who does he think he is? Begging to get away from me? Pft, it should be the other way around.”

It was currently the end of the day and you and Daniel were in the school’s library waiting for Youngmin to appear and your suffering to begin. Hidden behind a shelf of books in the fiction section, Daniel was listening to you rant about the unfairness of your punishment while you ate his leftover lunch. Daniel was the closest and longest friend that you had. He was there when you and Youngmin used to spend hours a day just wandering the neighborhood as kids and he was there when the rivalry and hate between you and the red head began. Daniel always saw how drained you’d become after overworking yourself to beat Youngmin and wanted more than anything for the feuding to stop. He wanted you to be happy, not constantly fighting to be the best because he already thought you were perfect.

After listening to your rant, Daniel hesitantly said “You know, I don’t think this tutoring thing is a bad idea. I mean, he’s really good at math and can help you. Plus spending so much time with him might make you realize that he’s not actually so bad of a guy.” He waited for your response, but all he got was silence and an incredulous stare filled with disappointment.

“Wow, I feel betrayed. After fifteen years of friendship I thought that you would be on my side, not defending the person who’s been an arrogant jerk to me for the past three years. Alright, I see how it is.” You said as you turned your back to him, deciding to eat your own lunch instead of the person’s who just back stabbed you. Daniel sighed.

“Y/N, I’m not betraying you, I’m just saying that Youngmin’s actually not as bad as you think he is. We’re on the dance team together and he’s always smiling and kind to everyone. He does this thing called the ‘Alpaca Dance’ and it’s hilarious.” Daniel said with a shrug, taking a sip of your banana milk. “He’s nice to everyone else, I don’t understand why he’s only a jerk to you.”

You set your food down. You didn’t understand it either. You and Youngmin used to be so close before; one would never go anywhere without the other. Then when high school started, everything changed without warning. You had assumed that it was just because you both wanted to be number one, but listening to Daniel, you began to wonder if maybe it was something deeper than that. Now it was your turn to sigh. “I don’t know why either.”

Thinking of possible reasons for Youngmin’s attitude towards you, Daniel added “Hm. Maybe he likes you?”

You choked on your sandwich. Your chest involuntarily leaned forward as your lungs produced a series of cackling coughs, Daniel patted your back as a string of apologies left his mouth.

You drank the rest of your sweet drink and took deep breaths to calm down before answering, “HA. That’s funny. That was a great joke Daniel thanks for making me almost choke because of it. But really, that’s not possible. All Youngmin thinks of me as is an annoying competitor.” You said, your heart stinging a little bit by your own words. Before you could get too caught up in your feelings and what the slight pain meant, you heard an all too familiar voice come up from behind, startling you.

“I heard my name?” Youngmin said, causing you to scream and Daniel to shove his hands over your mouth in an attempt to silence you.

“Jesus Christ Youngmin you scared me. Knock next time, would you.” You said as you put your hand on your chest, trying to calm your erratic heartbeat. Youngmin and Daniel laughed at your frightened state, earning them one of your death stares.

“Alright, well I’ll leave you guys alone for your study session. Have fun and please, try not to kill each other.” Daniel announced after packing his things and getting up from his spot next to you on the library floor so the redhead could replace him. He and Youngmin did their fistbump, causing you to frown at their closeness. Before leaving, Daniel ruffled your hair, a common act of affection between you two, and gave you a look that you knew meant behave. While you were replying in your own facial expression that translated to alright, mom, you didn’t notice the slight look of disappointment on Youngmin’s face. As quickly as it appeared though, it faded back to the smug look he constantly wore in your presence.

“Should we go to the tables? Or are you incapable of getting up after eating all those snacks?” Youngmin asked, amusement in his voice at his own insult. You scoffed.

“Oh, screw you, Im Youngmin.” You began packing your stuff up, including your precious snacks, and put your backpack on. Instinctively, you lifted your arms out as a call for help and waited for Youngmin to assist you. You watched as he stared at you, unsure of what to do. Hesitantly, he placed his hands on yours and pulled you up. You realized that this was first physical contact he’s had with you for years that wasn’t intended to be bothersome. Okay, maybe he isn’t so bad after all.

You wiped any dust off of your skirt with your hands and was about to say a quick thanks when Youngmin opened his mouth and said “Dang, you’re really heavy. I bet an elephant is lighter than you.”

Never mind. Once a jerk, always a jerk.

“Whatever, let’s just get this over with.” You said as you rushed past him to get to the tables, purposely shoving him a bit with your big bag of textbooks. Behind you, you heard Youngmin softly chuckle.

You looked at the red haired boy sitting next to you against the brick wall of the school and rolled your eyes in annoyance. Jerk… You thought.

You had been studying in the library with Youngmin, trying to digest today’s lesson that you were struggling with. Already being frustrated, it didn’t help your patience when Youngmin couldn’t contain his sarcastic, mocking comments for one moment to actually help you with your homework. After thirty frustrating minutes of not understanding what the boy in front of you was saying, you had decided you had enough and that was when you burst. Closing your eyes, you replayed the argument that happened just a few minutes ago.

“I DON’T UNDERSTAND ANY OF THIS WHAT THE HECK IS THE FUNDAMENTAL THEOREM OF CALCULUS AND HOW THE HECK DO YOU APPLY IT.” You shouted at Youngmin from across the study table, homework and textbooks pages long forgotten as the only thing you were focusing on at the moment was how to murder the student and math problem in front of you.

“YOU JUST REPLACE ALL H’S WITH X IT’S NOT THAT HARD STOP BEING STUPID.” Youngmin yelled back, equally as frustrated and annoyed that you couldn’t seem to understand anything.

“WELL MAYBE IF YOU WERE A BETTER TEACHER I WOULD HAVE GOTTEN IT BY NOW. AND DON’T CALL ME STUPID, STUPID.”  You stood up and crossed your arms in defense, challenging him to fight back with you, which of course, he did.

“FINE, DUMBASS. AND MAYBE IF YOU WERE A BETTER STUDENT I WOULDN’T HAVE TO BE TEACHING YOU.” Youngmin copied the stance you had and looked down at you with angered eyes since he was a quite a few inches taller. If you stood on your tippy-toes though, you figured you could punch his head off.

“SHUT UP YOU BARELY UNDERSTOOD THE CONCEPT TOO. YOUR MOM TOLD ME YOU CRIED TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT THE INTEGRAL IS.” You heard him scoff as he leaned closer to you, a habit of his he always did when he was trying to intimidate someone.

“FIRST OF ALL, YOU SHUT UP AND-”

“BOTH OF YOU SHUT UP AND GET OUT. THIS IS A LIBRARY NOT A SCREAMING ZOO.” You both froze at the chilling shriek of the old librarian who was fed up with the commotion you and Youngmin were causing with your fight. You had never seen her anywhere else besides her desk with her pointy nose in a book, but now she had walked over to you two and was physically shoving you out the wooden doors of the quiet study place. With nowhere to go, you and Youngmin simply sat against the front entrance of the door, still fuming about what happened.

“That was your fault,” You said to him with a scowl.

“As if. I wasn’t the one who started screaming first, now was I,” He replied without even looking at you. He leaned his head back against the wall, his hoodie covering his closed eyes.

“Shut up,” You said as you followed his pose. You were too tired to fight any longer and you assumed he was too. You sat in silence as you looked at the graying sky, a feeling of sadness washing over you. You replayed part of your conversation with Daniel earlier. “Maybe he likes you?” Yeah right. There was no way he would like someone who fought with him every second of the day, especially when he constantly had a swarm of girls fawning over him wherever he went. They showered him with praise and love, you attacked him with sarcastic comments and screaming. Not that you were disappointed though, you didn’t think you had any feelings for your red haired rival. Just as you were drowning in your thoughts, a light droplet of water fell upon your face and spread coldness throughout your body. It was beginning to rain.

You opened your mouth, about to share your discovery about the upcoming weather with Youngmin but he once again beat you to it.

“It’s gonna rain soon. I think we should go somewhere else.” He was now looking at you with eyes you had never seen from him before. They were a calm brown and held an emotion that you couldn’t decipher. You tried to read his face, but after so many years of just yelling at it, it was like reading hieroglyphics.

“Hm. Guanlin is working at a cafe a few blocks down. We could go there and, if we beg really hard, he might hook us up with some free coffee and snacks.” You said, raising an eyebrow as you turned to glance at Youngmin. He nodded in agreement and soon, you were both up with your backpacks and ready to go.

The trip to the cafe was mostly uneventful as you and Youngmin walked side by side in silence, you lost in your thoughts and Youngmin in the music that was playing through his earbuds. You watched the light rain fall upon the surrounding nature and drizzle it with dew. Most people prefer sunny days and clear blue skies but to you, this was the best weather. It was calming and never failed to make you feel serene.

Memories of jumping the rain with Youngmin as a child began playing through your head and suddenly, you found your eyes trailing to the red haired boy beside you. This was the first time since high school started that you and Youngmin have been peaceful around each other and you had to admit, it was pretty nice. You looked at his features and thought about how much he matured physically. You looked at his perfect red hair and doe eyes and had to admit that even though you hated his guts, he was handsome. You could see why girls chased after him in the halls. You were forced out of your analyzation of his face though when Youngmin noticed you staring and turned to you.

“What? Do I have something on my face?” He asked with a raised eyebrow, something you taught him to do in middle school.

“Nah, just ugliness. But that’s always been there.” You replied with a smug look as you returned to admiring the scenery around you. You felt him shove you a bit with his arms before scoffing and putting his earbud back in. You laughed.

You were halfway to the cafe when you realized that you should have listened to Daniel when he told you to bring a jacket earlier; it was freezing now due to the constant rain. In an attempt to lessen your shivering, you rubbed your bare arms with your hands trying to generate some warmth.

“Geez, it’s cold,” You said to no one in particular. Thinking that Youngmin couldn’t hear you due to the music he was listening to, you continued walking while gritting your teeth. We’re almost there, you told yourself. In the middle of your thoughts, you felt a sweater being laid over your shoulders and a blanket of warmth encompassing you.

You froze in your tracks. Stunned, you looked up with wide eyes at the redhead beside you. Youngmin was looking at the ground, refusing to meet your eyes, as he rubbed his neck in awkwardness. His hoodie that he had on before was now on you instead and revealed the embarrassingly adorable shirt he was wearing underneath that had an alpaca with a bowtie on it. You couldn’t help but laugh.

Your sudden laughter surprised Youngmin and he met your joyful eyes, confusion evident on his face.

“Thanks Alpaca Boy for the sweater.” You said in between a fit of giggles while pointing at his shirt. His ears lit up red like a Christmas tree and his hurriedly covered his torso with your arms, only intensifying your enjoyment at his flustered state.

“S-shut up,” He said as he turned away and speedily walked the rest of the way to the cafe, you trailing behind with a series of teasing remarks about your new favorite shirt of his. Your giggling and his shouts for you to be quiet became music that filled the surrounding neighborhood.

After you finally arrived at the cafe, you said hello to Guanlin, who was a mutual friend to the two of you, and begged him to give you some snacks. Being a stubborn byeongari, he agreed after you both gave something in return. For you, it was doing his Korean homework for him for a week and for Youngmin, it was rap lessons after school. Once settling down on sofa seats in a quiet, secluded area of the cafe located near the back, you and Youngmin spent two hours working on your homework assignment for the night together. Currently, he was quizzing you on the different vocabulary words you would need to know for the next test.

“Okay, so what’s an asymptote?” Youngmin asked as he took a sip of vanilla latte.

“A line or curve that the graph of a relation approaches more and more closely the further the graph is followed.” You immediately responded, proud of yourself afterwards for remembering. You took a bite of your banana bread. “Next question.”

“What’s a piecewise continuous function?” Youngmin now leaned back in the cafe’s sofa, a smirk on his face as he expected you not to know. “It’s fine if you don’t know-”

“Shut up and wipe that smirk off your face before I punch it off. I know this. It’s a function made up of a finite number of continuous pieces. They may not have the vertical asymptotes and the only possible types of discontinuities are removable and step discontinuities. Told you I knew this.” You said, smug once seeing the look of surprise on Youngmin’s face when you got the answer right.

“Wow, you’re really understanding this. I’m surprised, maybe you’re not as dumb as I thought.” Youngmin teased.

“Be quiet, Alpaca Boy,” You said, amusement in your voice as you teased him with his new nickname. He glared at you in return.

“Sigh, you know, I wish I could use all of these physic terms we’re learning to perfectly knock those round glass off Teacher Seokhoon’s face so he wouldn’t be able to see, and therefore teach.” You said as you grabbed Youngmin’s latte and took a sip. It was a familiar action between you two, something you used to do without any thought back in middle school before things fell apart. You paused, realizing what the action meant and waited for Youngmin to start yelling at you. However, he only watched you share his drink calmly and with a small smile. You realize his thoughts were probably the same as yours before. You set his drink down in front of him again and switched to your own despite the fact that you didn’t like it as much.

“Yeah same. Like, calculate how much force we need for our fist to make directly contact with a point on his glasses and knock it off without touching the rest of his face. Let’s start a petition to make this a graded assignment.” You and Youngmin laughed at his comment, thinking of the possibility of punching your teacher in the face.

Youngmin watched as your eyes disappeared into joyful crescents and giggles escaped your pink lips. He watched as you threw your head back in laughter that filled the room. He would never tell you this, but he loved it when you smiled. Your laugh was his favorite music in the entire world because it always lightened whatever mood he was in. It was infectious. He wished he could he could watch you be happy more and participate in creating those smiles and laughs he loved so much, but whenever you two met, all that seemed to be produced was glares and scowls. Knowing that your joy wouldn’t last much longer with him, he simply took in the moment before him.

When you finally calmed down, you said “That was funny, wow. I didn’t know there was a sense of humor in you, Im Youngmin,” Earning you a small chuckle and teasing glare from the male. The room was quiet again except for the buzzing of the coffee machines and soft music playing through the speakers. However, instead of the quiet tension that was usually between you and Youngmin, you sat in a comfortable silence as you just, for the first time in forever, enjoyed each other’s company.

You looked outside the window by your seats. After you had arrived in the cafe, the rain came back in full force and it was currently pouring outside. You looked on fondly as you watched a pair of children run into the streets jump in the puddles, much to their parent’s disapproval. You missed the times when you could be that carefree and have fun with friends without worrying about a test the next day or colleges to apply to. You missed the times when you could play with Youngmin without fighting over first place a second after. You listened to the pitter patter of the rain hitting the pavement and thought about how close you and Youngmin used to be for the hundredth time that day.

“Remember when we would play like that when we were younger?” Youngmin asked as if reading your thoughts. You turned to the red haired boy and realized that he had moved so he was now sitting next to you. His face held a fond smile as he reminisced on the past with you. “God, our parents got so mad when we came home soaking wet.”

You laughed as you recalled your mother’s angered expression as she scolded you and Youngmin for getting your clothes wet. You and the redhead didn’t care though, you were kids and you had fun. That was all that mattered.

“Yeah, oh my gosh she was furious. Oh! Do you also remember when…”

For the rest of the night, you and Youngmin reminisced on your old adventures together, laughing at the stories of your childhood stupidity that you shared with the red haired boy. Hot drinks turned cold and treats stale as they sat forgotten on the cafe’s table, the only thing mattering to you and Youngmin was the good times you had as kids. Around you, life continued on. People bustled in and out of the cafe, leaving to attend meetings that would shape their future after receiving their coffee, but you couldn’t care less. For once, you weren’t worrying about your future and college, instead, you were enjoying the present and past with the male in front of you. Before you knew it, Guanlin was coming up to your seat in the back of the cafe and begging you to leave, as it was already closing time.

You looked at the time on your phone. 9:52PM. Although it didn’t feel like it, you had been with Youngmin for the past six hours. Looking at the boy, you realized that this was the longest time since high school began that you and Youngmin had been in each other’s company and not wanted to tear each other apart. In the cafe, you weren’t two rivals who wanted to the other to disappear so they could be first place, but close friends who were reminiscing on old memories. Instead of counting down the minutes until you could leave like you thought you would be, you were enjoying the time with Youngmin and having fun. In fact, you only wished for the clock to turn slower so you could be with him longer because you knew that tomorrow, everything would return to how it was before. Although, you sort of hoped that it wouldn’t be. Before you could get caught up in your thoughts, you heard Youngmin clear his throat and ask you if you had a ride home.

“Uh, yeah. I’ll just call Daniel to come pick me up.” You said as you opened your message chat with him. You had expected a few messages from him earlier, but what you got was an entire spam.

Cat Boy - 4:03PM

Where are u??

Cat Boy - 4:10PM

Is everything ok?

Cat Boy - 4:33PM

Plz tell me ur not responding bc u and YM r getting along not bc ur killing each other

Cat Boy - 5:42PM

Y/N I lost my cat answer me rn

Cat Boy - 5:43PM

Help me my cats are everything i need them to be able to live

Cat Boy - 6:01PM

Ok I didnt lose Rooney I just wanted u to respond

Cat Boy - 6:27PM

OooOOOOOOooO r u and YM are doing something alone that takes a lot of privacy and time ;))))

Cat Boy - 8:52PM

But rlly where r u and y is it taking so long Peter misses u T^T

Cat Boy - 9:43PM

hELLo???????????????? iS U DeAd

Sighing, you sent a reply.  

Me - 9:54PM

Geez yes I’m fine nothing happened you perv I’m alive can you pick me up? I’m at the cafe Guanlin works at

Not a second later you felt a slight buzz, signaling Daniel’s reply. Dang, the boy is fast.

Cat Boy - 9:54PM

I THOUGHT YOU DIED YOU ARE THE WORST TEXTER EVER OF COURSE I’LL BE THERE IN 5

You laughed at the dancer’s overuse of capitalization and put your phone away, returning your attention the boys in front of you. Guanlin had finished his shift and was now sitting by Youngmin, talking to him about the dance team they were both on with Daniel. While you were listening to their conversation about whether or not they should incorporate a move your friends Seonho and Daehwi created into their choreography, you saw Daniel come in his car that you called the Cat Mobile to take you home. You waved to him as he walked into the cafe, ruffling your hair in greeting. While your head was down, you notice Youngmin shift uncomfortable in his seat at the gesture.  

“Oh hey guys. Youngmin, glad to see you and Y/N didn’t murder each other.” He teased and you kicked him in the shin.

“Yah, I’m an angel I would never hurt a fly,” You said, feigning innocence as you did a flower pose and smiled. Around you, you heard three boys scoff while Daniel rubbed his bruising leg.

“Sure you are. Anyway, let’s go home. Bye Youngmin, bye Guanlin, see you guys at practice tomorrow,” The brown haired boy said kindly to his friends. With that, you waved to Guanlin, stuck your tongue out at Youngmin, who did the gesture back to you, and linked your arms with Daniel’s while you walked to his car. As you turned around, you caught a quick glimpse of Youngmin frown while staring at your arms hooked around Daniel’s.

When you got in the car, you pressed play on your favorite song and opened Snapchat to play with the silly filters. In the middle of your selfie session, you got a message from a number that you hadn’t contacted in years. As you opened the text, you felt your heart swell up and heat rush to your cheeks.

Im Youngmin - 10:03PM

Today wasn’t actually wasn’t that bad. It was nice hanging out with you again. See you tomorrow. Good night.

Since that day at the cafe, you felt something between you and Youngmin begin to shift. Of course you would still argue, there are some things about people that would never change, but the fights lessened and usually ended in playful teasing and laughter. In your heart, you felt the hatred for him start to melt away and be replaced by something new, though you weren’t exactly sure what that new feeling was. You no longer grimaced whenever his name was brought into a conversation, instead, you felt your heartbeat speed up and a smile form on your face. Studying sessions were a time for you two to talk about anything and everything and soon, it became what you looked forward to most in the day.

Slowly as the days went on, Youngmin’s chair inched its way towards yours until it was no longer across from you on the other side of the desk, but right next to you; his arm against your own as he leaned to look at your homework. The cafe you took refuge in from the rain the first day soon became a regular place for you to visit, the red haired boy usually right beside you in that secluded space in the back of the coffee shop. After tutoring ended, you would go to his studio with him and admire as he poured his soul out into his dance movies and wish that you could be that passionate about something too. On days that you were piled with homework, Youngmin would come over to your house and suffer with you as he explained the things that you didn’t understand, much to your parent’s pleasure. They, like everyone else in school, was happy to see you two as friends again. You got used to seeing his smile every day as you he walked with you through the halls, laughing about something else that Woojin mispronounced and was happy to share a story of Daniel and his cats in return. Every night, you could always expect hours of message exchanging with the red haired boy and a “good night :)” when you both decided to sleep before the morning sun peeked from behind the night sky. It was as if you were brought back to the times in the past when you and Youngmin were each other’s closest friends, except the only difference was you had both grown, and you couldn’t be happier.

Except for right now. Right now you wanted to strangle the red haired boy standing in front of you.  

Ever since that afternoon in the cafe, you and Youngmin had been friends that could rely on each other for everything. You would talk everyday about anything that bothered you and you thought that he would trust you enough to do the same. You found that all to be false though after the last bell rang, signaling the end of the math final.

You had been waiting for Youngmin by the classroom door, anxious to tell the smart rapper about your answers on the test when, before you could even say hi, he simply brushed past you with his head down. You looked on incredulous and hurt, but decided that he must be in a bad mood. You spent the lunch period too distracted to listen to your friend group’s conversation and afterwards searched around the halls for him, only to learn that he left home early because he wasn’t feeling well. For the next few days, you looked for him in school and the cafe, even dropping by his house, only for him to be nowhere to be found. You worried about his well being and wondered if he was still eating right, but the darn jerk didn’t even care enough about your hurting heart to reply to your text messages that you knew he read.

After a week of absence, he was finally back in school and acted as if he was never gone. The red haired boy that squirmed his way into your heart was laughing and joking with his friends as usual, his eyes curling into the crescents you realized you loved seeing. You were glad to see him healthy and okay, but was furious at how nonchalant he was being. Did you feelings really not matter at all to him? Wanting an answer to his avoidance, you went to the dance practice room where you knew he would be and confronted him, but all he did was remain silent.

You glared at the boy in front of you with as much hate as you could, something that you hadn’t done in what felt like forever. After weeks of purely joy around him, the hostility coming from you both felt foreign. You wanted it to disappear and warmth from his arms to replace it, but was too angered by his refusal to speak.

“Youngmin, answer me. Why did you disappear for a week without telling anyone.” All he did was shift onto his other foot, his eyes finding more interest in the pattern of the floors than you.

You tried again. “Did you forget how to talk? Come on, just answer me please.” Still nothing from his part. Getting frustrated, you rolled your eyes and crossed your arms. You took a breath and opened your mouth, preparing to yell.

“Youngmin-”

“What! Why do you care so much! God, Y/N leave me alone! I didn’t talk to you because I didn’t want to alright. Geez, you’re being really annoying.” The rapper finally spoke, but it was out of anger and frustration at your nosiness. You gave him a blank stare.

“I’m being annoying?” You asked, hurt and confused as to why was mad at you when you did nothing wrong. You felt a new wave of irritation washing over you.

“Yes. So can you just leave me alone now? I have better things to do.” With a huff, Youngmin turned his back to you and began walking to the door. You could have just let him leave and your newly reconciled friendship end, but your stubbornness wouldn’t let you. Youngmin was too important to you now to let him just leave your life again. You ran up to him and grabbed his wrist, preventing him from leaving. He froze at your touch, but still didn’t turn around to face you.

Not letting go of his arm, you started talking. “So that’s it huh. We just became close again and you’re just gonna leave me?” You looked at the floor, your eyes threatening to spill tears that you didn’t know you would shed. You waited for his reply, but all you got was silence.

“You’re just gonna walk back into my life, become one of the most important people to me, and then ignore me forever?” His refusal to answer to you when you were spilling your heart out to him angered you. You looked at his unmoving state and wanted to punch him just so he would at least talk. Letting your tears fall, you continued.

“If you hated me that much you should have just continued being a jerk to me instead of lending me your sweatshirt when it was raining and actually caring about me. You shouldn’t have made me laugh and worry about you when you were gone and instead just yell at me for being a stupid idiot like you have been all these years. You should have stayed out of my life when you walked out of it in the beginning of high school-”

“That’s not why I started fighting with you.” Youngmin said, cutting off your loud sobs as he turned around to face you, a stream of tears running down his own face. You were silenced by the painful expression he had on his face, something you had never seen before. You wanted more than anything to wipe it away. “That’s not why I started fighting with you…”

“Then why? Why, Youngmin? Why did you-”

“BECAUSE I LIKED YOU. Because I couldn’t go a day without thinking about you and your smile. Because every time you came near me I would feel my breath get caught in my chest. Because every time I saw you with Daniel, I felt jealous, hurt, and pathetic because he could express his feelings to you and I couldn’t. I started fighting with you to get rid of these stupid feelings and finally move on and guess what Y/N, I thought it was actually starting to work. I thought I was starting to feel sane again until that freaking day in the cafe when you looked more beautiful than ever staring at the rain and we relived our old memories together that were filled with love for you on my part but nothing back from you. I realized that I could never get over you because you never let me, you kept crawling back into my heart when I knew that I was locked out of yours. And it hurt Y/N. It really hurt… That’s why I left for a week - it was because I was scared of these feelings that I had for you that just wouldn’t leave me alone even though you had none. I left because I liked you. Because I still do.”

A deafening silence filled the empty room as you stood with your mouth agape at the genuine words the red haired boy that you had grown warm to just spoke. Through your tears, you looked at Youngmin’s face that still looked so handsome even after crying, and tried to search for any amusement, any sign that showed he was just kidding and would say in a second ha, I got you while he laughed at your gullibility. Your heart felt conflicted however when the only thing you found was pain and sincerity.

He was being serious. Youngmin had liked you all of these years, and you were too caught up in your own world and your own competitiveness to notice. You wanted to punch yourself when you reflected on all the fleeting looks of disappointment that would appear on the male’s face whenever Daniel slung his arm over your shoulders, or all the smiles and slight blushes Youngmin would have whenever you did the same to him. You looked back and lost count of all the times that you stared into Youngmin’s beautiful eyes and felt the incredible warmth of his love, but only pushed it deep down because there was no way you were in love with your best friend. But that’s exactly what you were. And that’s exactly what he was. You realized that all the fights were just simply excuses to talk to one another while pushing your feelings deep down out of denial. Your mind flashed back to the walking in the rain when Youngmin gave you his hoodie. At the time, you took it as simply a friendly gesture, but now you knew it was something more. It was something deeper than friendship and a thousand times more painful, and it was exactly what you were experiencing too. You remembered the feeling of your heart skipping beats whenever you heard the rapper’s adorable voice and all the moments your face resembled the color of this hair that you loved to stroke your hands through whenever you felt his arm against your own in the library. You cared about Youngmin so much when he was gone, not because you were just worried about his health, but because felt empty when he wasn’t by your side. After hearing Youngmin pour his heart out to you, you realized that the reason your heart ached was because you felt the same. You liked Youngmin. And he liked you.

You trailed your eyes up to meet the boy’s in front of you. His dark chocolate orbs that never left your crying form were glistening with the tears that he contained for years, looking at you with desperation for you to say something, anything. But you couldn’t, you didn’t know what to say.

So you hugged him.

You wrapped your arms around his strong torso and let his shirt be blanket for your tears to fall. Immediately, you felt his arms wrap around your waist and his head rest against your own. You could feel the warmth and love emanating from every inch of his body and leaned further into him, thankful for his presence. You stayed like that until your breaths mixed into one and your hearts were beating to the same rhythm. Finally, you spoke.

“You’re an idiot, you know that Youngmin?” You closed your eyes as you smiled. Around you, you could hear students rushing through the halls to get to their next class but for you, time was still in Youngmin’s arms. You didn’t want to leave, and it didn’t seem like he did either. You felt the boy that took over your heart begin to gently sway the both of you and you sighed in content. “I like you too, if you couldn’t tell from the constant teasing.” You heard the male laugh.

“You know if that’s your way of flirting, you’re gonna end up alone forever. My shins are still bruised from all those kicks.” Youngmin said and you proved his breaking the hug and punching him lightly in the arm. Your smile never left your face as you told him to shut up and retracted back into his arms, your new favorite place to be.

“So, does this mean that we’re dating now?” You hesitantly asked as you pulled away from him slightly to look into his eyes. You could feel the doubtfulness and fear swirling in your orbs as you waited for his answer. The red haired male showed you that you had nothing to worry about though when a second later, his eyes lit up like the twinkling stars in the sky and he brought you back into your arms, causing you to melt at his touch. You felt a fluttering in your heart at the gesture when Youngmin opened his mouth and said, “Of course. You’re the only person in my heart, babe.”

You shoved him away as you laughed at his teasing. “Ew you’re gross never mind. I hate you, Im Youngmin.”

After you finished your laughing fit, you looked up at the rapper that etched his name into your heart with playful teasing and soft gestures and saw a smile warmer than a blazing fire placed on his face.

A second later, you heard Youngmin say “I love you too.”

[pinknerdpanda]

Bad Blood - Part 1

Characters: Reader x Roy, Sam, Dean

Summary: You stop at a small cafe in Louisiana on your way home from hunting with the Winchesters. There is something about the man behind the counter that makes you hungry for more than just the pie.

Warnings: Violence, Language, Pre-Smuttiness

Word Count: 2262

A/N: This is the first part of a series I am working on. Part 2 is already done and I am starting part 3 next. Future parts will be NSFW and I will be sure to put that in the warnings. The gif is not mine - thanks Google.

Your feedback is so appreciated! :)

Thanks to my Soul Sister @wheresthekillswitch for beta’ing this for me and for always encouraging me. Also thanks to @emilywritesaboutdean who kinda pre-beta’d this like a long time ago when Lee was working on her 400 celebration and I needed help moving forward. You are both incredible writers and I am privileged to call you my friends. The support and love you guys and @arryn-nyxx give me on a regular basis is beyond words. I love my squishes.

Tags are below - please send me an ask if you would like to be added or removed from my tag list! :)

Bad Blood

Part 1

Guidry’s Cajun Cafe - Carencro LA

You have seen your fair share of shady places, but this one - with its battered walls and rickety tables and mismatched chairs may well top your list. You eye the empty barstools lining the counter to determine the one least likely to put your ass on the floor. You decide on the one closest to the cash register, perching gingerly upon it.

The run-down cafe is nearly empty, unsurprisingly so at 12 am. The smell of coffee makes your stomach growl and you immediately turn over the chipped stoneware mug in anticipation. The sudden squeak of a swinging door is soon followed by soft melodic whistle, both sounds cause your head to jerk up from the menu in your hand. A man wearing a green apron appears behind the counter. He approaches you holding a pot of coffee in one of his large hands.

“Evenin’ ma’am,” he drawls, his voice is warm and intoxicating. One side of his mouth quirks in a grin as he fills your cup.

“Thank you.” You return the smile as you meet his gaze. His brilliant blue eyes are mesmerizing.

“Can I get you anything ‘sides the coffee t’night?”

“Uh...yeah...actually. Do you have any, uh...pie?” You groan internally as you stumble your way through your reply. Get your shit together. What is the matter with you?

“I believe we got one slice left.” The grin on his face widens, causing the corners of his eyes to crinkle slightly. “How d’you feel about cherry?”

“Sounds great. I’ll have that.”

“Comin’ right up.”

He turns on his heel to get your pie, offering you a glimpse of his back. This man is huge, though definitely not freakishly tall like your friend Sam. The thought of Sam and his brother Dean makes your eyes roll.

Those crazy sons-a-bitches nearly got you killed. Three days ago, they’d called, asking for your help to take out a nest of vamps in Baton Rouge. What could go wrong?

Well, as it turns out, everything.

According to their research, the nest had contained no more than half a dozen bloodsuckers. They’d been keeping a low profile in the area, but the signs were all there; seven missing in the last eighteen months and four bodies, all drifters, with their throats ripped out and not a drop of blood to their name.

The Winchesters tracked them to a run-down shack out on Highway 61. The dense foliage obscured the building from the road, providing a prime spot for the vamps’ homebase. The sliver of moonlight in the inky sky gave off little light making it impossible to discern distinct shapes.

Dean found a secluded spot to stow his Impala and the three of you exited the vehicle quickly. The elder brother popped the trunk and you stifled a giggle as he propped it open with a sawed off shotgun.

You’d only been hunting with these boys a few other times and each time you’d found something new to be intrigued by.  Sam and Dean had battled and taken out every kind of evil thing you’d ever heard of and a handful that you hadn’t. Their reputation was known far and wide in the close-knit community. In your few encounters with the handsome brothers, you’d grown to appreciate their trademark cunning and intellect and they’d quickly earned your heartfelt respect. Dean’s cocky attitude and confident swagger, however, had the innate ability to frustrate the shit out of you and this was no exception.

In the hours leading up to your arrival, you’d tried and failed multiple times to get the green eyed man to share his strategy to take out the nest, each time receiving the same self-assured grin.

“It’s simple, princess. We go in, chop their heads off and celebrate with a beer for a job well done.” His use of the nickname “princess” annoyed you, but you chose to let it go for the moment.

Dean turned, passing a machete each to you and Sam, his own gripped tightly in his large hand, before slamming the trunk closed.

“Ok, we good?” His tone was determined and focused.

“What’s our play here?” you asked again, hoping for a proper answer this time.

“I told you, get in, get out, beers. Any questions?”

“That’s it?” you barked, frustration sharpening your tone.

Sam glanced at you empathetically. He seemed to understand your need for detail, but you assumed that his years on the road with Dean had helped him learn to cope.

“Oh I’m sorry, princess, do I need to draw you a diagram?” Dean retorted as he stepped closer in an attempt to intimidate you with his large frame. He gestured vaguely toward the highway. “Look, there’s the road if you want out, but I suggest you start walking now if you want to make it back to town by morning.”

Your blood boiled as you squared your shoulders and your eyes narrowed. You stretched your neck to meet his gaze.

“Listen here, Winchester, call me ‘princess’ again and it WILL be the last time.  You called me, remember?” You jabbed your finger into his chest to emphasize each word. “You need me, so you can back off with your badass male-dominance, ‘I’ve got a big dick’ bullshit. All I want is a plan. You wanna waltz through that door and get your ass ripped to shreds, be my guest, but I’ll be damned if I’m going to let your over-confidence put me in the ground.”

A muffled sound made your head whip around. Sam’s eyes glittered with suppressed laughter and his scruff covered dimples threatened to emerge. The sight was infuriating.

“What’s so funny over there, Sasquatch?” you growled through clenched teeth.

“Nothing.” he said. His attempt to wipe the smile off his face failed. “Nothing at all. I just love watching you refuse to take Dean’s crap. It is just so...refreshing.”

Dean grunted and you looked back at him through slits. “Well, what’s it going to be, Dean. You gonna keep up this asshole schtick or are we going to do our job?”

“Fine. Y/N.” He spit out your name like a curse as he leaned back against the car and sighed. “Sam and I will take the front door, you go round back to catch any trying to make a get-away. Chop chop and we are out of here. Capisce?”

The half dozen vampires turned out to be 15 and the “shack” - an expansive abandoned motel. When everything was said and done, you were all three bleeding profusely, each needing an indeterminate number of stitches, but the nest was eliminated. You limped back to the Impala in silence, chucking your blood-coated blade in the trunk before falling into the back seat and slamming the door.

Dean slid carefully behind the wheel, letting out a deep breath as Sam took his seat.

“Y/N…” Dean’s tone was soft and tinged with remorse but you cut him off.

“Just...don’t. OK? They are dead, we are breathing. Let’s just be done. I need a shower and you promised me a beer.”

Dean nodded, throwing the car in reverse before tearing off down the road.

The soft rattle of a plate against the counter draws you out of your thoughts. You smile appreciatively at the man. “Thank you. This looks delicious.”

“Bon appetite. The name’s Roy,” he offers a large calloused hand and you reach to shake it instinctively, your brain entranced by the sparkle of his eyes and his perfect white teeth.

“Y/N,” you manage, swallowing hard, the feel of his hand wrapped around yours sending a current down your spine.

“Nice to meet ya, y/n. What brings you to this part of Louisiana this time ‘a night?” He releases your hand and leans on his elbows, crossing his arms on the counter in front of you.

“Passing through on my way out of Baton Rouge.” You tug at the collar of your jacket nervously, wincing at the sting of fresh stitches near your collarbone. His eyes follow your movements, pupils widening briefly as the edge of a bandage peeks out from under the collar of your t-shirt. You drop your hand to the steaming mug. “I just needed to stretch my legs a little before I settle in for the long haul back to Texas.”

The sound of someone clearing their throat grabs Roy’s attention. “‘Scuse me, darlin.” He straightens and winks at you, scooping up the pot of coffee and heading toward the booth in the far corner.  

You shake yourself, a voice in your head scolding you for being so awkward. The last few days with the Winchesters have done a number on you. It’s not that you’re attracted to them, but damn are they attractive. You don’t usually go for the pretty-boy, straight from the cover of the plaid-appreciation edition of GQ type. But between the adrenaline of the past few days and the close proximity of the brothers, you are more than a little worked up, and the way Roy is looking at you isn’t helping matters.

Roy makes his way back up to the counter, placing the pot of coffee back on the warmer and grabbing a towel while whistling softly. You study him carefully out of the corner of your eye. His hair is cropped short and his carefully trimmed beard is peppered with grey. His neck is thick and his fitted white shirt hugs his broad chest. The sleeves are rolled up exposing his massive forearms, muscles flexing as he wipes down the counter. You have the sudden image of being pushed against a wall, that muscular chest pressing into yours as one of his thick hands winds into the back of your hair, his lips crashing into yours in a heated kiss.

“How’s it taste, cher?” Roy’s sultry voice breaks your thoughts, making you yelp in surprise. You look up wide-eyed, finding him much closer than you’re expecting and you suck in a quick breath.

Roy raises his hand in front of him, quirking an eyebrow. “My apologies. I wasn’t tryin’ ta frighten you.” You notice his a tinge of sadness in his eyes and a part of you wonders what put it there.

“Sorry.” You smile, shaking your head. “Sorry...it’s just been a long couple of days.” You scoop a forkful of pie and place it in your mouth, closing your eyes in delight as the sweet taste hits your tongue. “This is amazing,” you practically moan.

Roy’s face brightens and a wide smile graces his lips. He seems to enjoy watching you savor each bite as much as you’re enjoying eating it.

The sound of footsteps from behind you is soon followed by the squeak of a hinge and a dull thud as the customers from the far booth head outside. Roy makes his way to the door, flipping the switch on the open sign.

“Oh shit, you’re probably needing to close down…” You try to stand too quickly, but lose your balance as the stool begins tipping over, your foot still entwined in the bottom rung. Roy’s strong arms are on you suddenly as he deftly steadies you and the barstool in one motion. Leaning into his firm chest for support, you untangle your foot from the offending furniture. Your breath hitches as his scent fills your nostrils and your gaze shifts slowly upward to meet his. Roy swipes gently at your parted lips with his rough thumb.

“You had a lil’ som’thin’ on your lips there, cher.” His voice is strained.

He wets his lips and the sight of his tongue sends a heat coursing through your body. Slowly, his hand slides to the back of your head and then his lips are on yours, a feather-light touch. Winding one hand around the back of his neck, you press into him. Your eagerness granting him permission, his tongue dips into your mouth and you moan into his kiss.

A growl vibrates through his chest as his hands slide down the length of your body. One hand lands on your ass, squeezing firmly and you arch your back. Roy kisses a trail from your mouth to your throat and his tongue stops to trace the vein in your neck, the sensation sending waves of heat straight to your core. You swivel your hips and press your thighs together, searching for some kind of friction.

You quickly untie the strings of Roy’s green apron from around his waist, pulling back just enough to pull it over his head and throw it aside. He releases the grip on your body, reaching a hand behind his head to grab a handful of his shirt and yank it off as you shed your jacket. His fingertips fall to trace the hem of your shirt before hooking his fingers under it and removing it from your body. The look on his face as he drinks you in is almost predatory.

His eyes lock onto the patch of white just over your collarbone and he goes completely still, the color draining from his face. You study him, glancing down self consciously to note the blood that has begun to seep from your wound, a bright red spot beginning to spread through the fibers of the bandage.

There is nothing human about the sound that escapes Roy’s throat, and your eyes shoot up to meet his. Pupils dilated, chest heaving, mouth agape as he turns around on his heel. It takes your lust-drunk brain half a second to put the pieces together.

Read Part 2 Here

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[gulescamisade]

Alaska:  Day 3

[[ Despite the finesse of Nyalah's hunting capabilities, rabbits another small game are not quite so filling. Due to their bodies hard work of keeping them warm on top of their decision to continue moving, hunger begins to set in. ]]

KARKAT: =Great he loves starving.... but is there any water around? He's going to go check for that=

DAVE: -there's snow-

KARKAT: =He has fists and entire lakes don't freeze, the people need to be fed=

DAVE: -o yea you can get fish-

DAELOS: -The cold is really slowing him down, he's very still for long periods of time, trying to conserve energy.-

DAELOS: -He wants to have his STRENGTH in case something bad happens.-

KARKAT: =Weak. But he's venturing out on a quest for water. He's not letting people STARVE while he sits around like an assbasket=

KARKAT: =Or a lake/pond rather=

ARANEA: -keeping near to daelos and lending as much heat as she can. though she is unfortunately much smaller and only slightly warmer blooded then him, the hands she holds against his arm have a strange comforting warmth to them... if anything, it should be helping him keep his spirits up.-

[[ Karkat is in luck. In the distance, there among all the white and somewhat green-brown of the terrain, there is a sliver of light blue. It is the Yukon River, to be precise (and if anyone desires to use their GPS to check.) ]]

KARKAT: =Great, he knows shit about this place but he knows water, frozen or no. Shuffles his way over, slightly less bundled up and goes to check how thick the ice is=

[[ It is much thicker near the bank and sturdy enough to walk on. The closer one gets to the center of the river, however, the thinner it becomes. ]]

KARKAT: =Alright= WATCH ME SLIP AND FALL MY ENTIRE ASS INTO THIS FRIGID RIVER... =Mumbles to himself loudly and steps carefully on the ice to break it where it's still thick enough for him to be supported but he's not going to break his fist=

TEREZI: W1SH 1 COULD >;]

TEREZI: S3R1OUSLY, B3 C4R3FUL THOUGH

[[ Karkat must walk 30-40 feet across the ice until he reaches that point. ]]

DAVE: -also watching with terezi-

KARKAT: =Flinches and slips on the ice a little= FUCK. HOW LONG WERE YOU FO-- =They're both here= ....... UGH FINE. =Keeps.... walking, half-sliding on ice=

DAVE: -it feels great to surprise karkat and have him begrudgingly acknowledge him. Such an adorable grump-

KARKAT: =He's not adorable he's a survivor. Slips and falls rifht on his ass. Slides. ..=

TEREZI: =stifling a laugh=

TEREZI: PFFT

DAVE: get on your feet DAVE: get up and make it happen

KARKAT: GREAT, YOU BOTH CAME TO BE USELESS AND CACKLE. =turns on his stomach and tries to stand=

TEREZI: 1 B3L13V3 1N YOU!!

KARKAT: WHATEVER, YOU'RE HERE TO BE ENTERTAINED. =shuffles more then INTENTIONALLY plops down and gives the thinner bit a considerable knock with his whole fist=

ICE: =dull thonk=

DAVE: punch it

KARKAT: EAT MY ENTIRE ASS STRIDER. =knocks HARDER=

ICE: =OWIE! produces a small crack=

DAVE: no you knock on wood

DAELOS: -He's not moving, but at least he's keeping himself busy. He dumped out his tool box into his sylladex to use as a bowl and he's currently melting some snow over the fire.-

KARKAT: =huffs and clasps his hands together, using some of the hope-given seadweller strength to WHUMP the ice=

ICE: >O< =it cracks, spiderwebbing across the ice about four feet.=

DAELOS: -He had some tea packets in his sylladex. No sugar or anything but beggers can't be choosers. Tries to make tea.-

KARKAT: =That.... is a big spiderwebbing.... it's under his ass isn't it?=

[[ Yup. ]]

DAELOS: -Not paying attention to any of this yet. He assumes the youths are just horsing around and using good judgement.-

[[ Though it takes longer for the water to boil since it's SNOW, Daelos will find success with creating leaf water. ]]

DAELOS: -CRAFTING NOISE !!! ***-

KARKAT: ..... =Scoots.... back.... Don't let his glorious ass crack this ice=

ICE: ...

ICE: =cracks?=

ICE: =a teeny bit more=

DAELOS: -slides one of the compartments out to use as a very inconvenient tea cup and carefully passes the piping hot leaf water to his lady love <333.-

KARKAT: =DEEP RESIGNED SIGH, takes off his jacket at least and chucks it to the side=

DAELOS: -HE WILL SHARE. but she gets the first sip-

DAVE: karkat im hungry

ARANEA: -flutters wings while accepting the cup.- Thank you, Daelos. -smiles up at him and just lets it warm her hands for a moment-

TEREZI: 3V3RYTH1NG P34CHY OV3R TH3R3?

DAELOS: -What a pretty smile she has. They are on a snow date. In the freezing wilderness.-

DAELOS: -raises his voice- There is hot tea

DAELOS: When you all are finished with

DAELOS: That!

TEREZI: :D

TEREZI: W3LL DON3 Z4HH4K! =that's twice she's said that to him now=

KARKAT: BOTH OF YOU PICK AN ASSCHEEK OF MINE AND NIBBLE IT YOU JACKASSES. =shouts back to Daelos=

KARKAT: KEEP AT LEAST HALF OF IT FOR THE FRIGID ASS FEEDING YOU YOU USELESS PRICKS!! =PUNCHES the ice just take him now watery abyss=

DAELOS: -Snorts in OFFENSE. How rude!-

KARKAT: =Fine then STARVE=

ARANEA: - VERY rude...-

ICE: =KARKAT WHY???!=

ICE: =CRACK!!!!!!!!!=

ICE: =gives way=

KARKAT: =SPLOOSH, swims off=

DAELOS: -He doesn't eat meat anyway, but he was being polite about mentioning it.-

KARKAT: =Goodbye forever=

DAELOS: -He will have to forage for roots himself later-

TEREZI: HOLY SH1T K4RK4T! =she's running to the shore=

DAELOS: -Concerned whinny-

MINDFANG: -She was gathering more wood for the fire and comes back with two arm loads of tinder and just in time to see the figure in the distance that is karkat vanish through the ice.- .........

MINDFANG : (Outstanding.)

REDGLARE: -BUZZING OVERHEAD-

REDGLARE: ...-SIGHS-

FISH: =IS CHUCKED OUT THE WATER=

FISH: =Why this. Why me=

MINDFANG: -Looks up at Redglare like "you going to bother with that or...?"-

KARKAT: =If Terezi is close enough she's gonna get slapped by at least two more fish=

DAELOS: -Spoilers, it's Alaska, he won't find anything. He'll have to eat fish.-

REDGLARE: H3 h4s g1lls.

TEREZI: =she ducks with the first one but the second hits her squarely in the middle and her legs go flying up in the air=

DAELOS: Do you suppose I should assist

DAELOS: -THEY SEEM TO BE FALLING A LOT-

MINDFANG: Ah. That's new. -She's no longer vaguely concerned and moves to finish piling up the wood before sitting by the fire itself and rubbing her shoulder that links to the robotic arm.-

DAELOS: -Of course if he went near the ice, it'd just all crumble...-

REDGLARE: ...

REDGLARE: -flutters down towards Terezi, pokes the fish with her staff.-

FISH: =THRASHES VIOLENTLY=

KARKAT: =Man look at all these fish. As soon as he throws enough that can feed them for the night he emerges SCREAMING= WHY THE FUCK ARE WE STILL IN THIS ABOMINABLE FROST-BEASTS ASSHOLE!??!

FISH: 8O

FISH: =uses Splash!=

REDGLARE: -gives it a good, hearty stab. go to sleep fishy.-

DAELOS: -FISH MURDER.-

REDGLARE: W3 h4v3 food now.

FISH: =flap flap flap!!!=

DAELOS: -He's used to it with Nyalah, but it never fails to sadden him.-

TEREZI: =still on her back, staring up at the sky=

FISH: =is still=

NYALAH: -OH. Is Terezi part of the fresh kill pile? Nyalah is depositing another rabbit with her. Dead, of course.-

TEREZI: TH4NKS NY4

MINDFANG: -Watching all of this happen while trying to get warm so her body stops screaming in the form of aching joints and muscle.-

NYALAH: - 👁️👁️Would Arissa like a massage? She's good at those.-

DAELOS: -Cease...-

MINDFANG: -No, she would like the circuits in her metal arm not to freeze.-

DAELOS: -He could help possibly. But i'm going to bed so...-

MINDFANG: -Side eyes Nyalah looking at her though.- ..... can I help you.

REDGLARE: -just sorta. picks up Terezi by the sides.-

NYALAH: look stiff -wiping her paws of blood in the snow.-

TEREZI: G3TT1NG F1SH3D

TEREZI: TH4T W4S 4 F1RST

TEREZI: =Pats Redglare's shoulder= H3H3H3H3 TH4NKS

TEREZI: =she glanced over at Karkat though, a little concerned that he might turn into an actual icicle. That water is cold as balls.=

MINDFANG: -Blood has no effect on her she has seen plenty.- I look stiff 8ecause I am. MINDFANG: Metal cools much faster then the rest of my 8ody does. While the arm is more or less insul8ted and water proof, the 8rilliant designer of this piece of equipment also provided it with cold sensors.

MINDFANG: And also the frozen metal and rubber feels just /peachy keen/ against the flesh stump of my shoulder.

KARKAT: =He's hauling himself out and shivering, just. Living with his mistakes but kicks the flopping fishes away from the hole MOVE OVER BITCHfang he's taking place next to the fire and stripping his shirt off. Wringing it out and throws it over..... some kind of stick over it to dry=

NYALAH: -👀 tbh -

MINDFANG: -Karkat is free to join her, but she isn't makin a show of moving over.- I'm impressed with you cold tolerance. -@karkat-

MINDFANG: Plenty would have died in that water. It's a surprise you didn't.

NYALAH: -prowls over to sniff the metal arm.-

KARKAT: THANKS, IT'S MUCH HIGHER THAN MY "WATCH PEOPLE I GIVE A SHIT ABOUT STARVE TO DEATH IN A WASTELAND" TOLERANCE.

MINDFANG: ! -Pulls her arm away from the sniffing.-

NYALAH: -settles by MFG anyway. Pulling out a joint.... and starts to light it.-

MINDFANG: -Drugs are for losers, but damn if she's considering pulling out her own cigarette right now.-

NYALAH: -offers her a pass of the doobie anyway.- B??

MINDFANG: No thank you. -She waves it off but is giving in and taking out one of her cigs. Does nyalah have a lighter she's willing to share?-

TEREZI: =she's deboning and gutting the fish Karkat caught by the frozen water=

NYALAH: -waves her lighter around. Maybe if she asks nicely.-

MINDFANG: -Gross.- Care to lend me that for a moment.

NYALAH: -tosses it at her.- k33ps

MINDFANG: -Snags it out of the air and smoothly lights her cigarette before taking a long overdue drag.- Thanks.

MINDFANG: -Puffs out smoke into the freezing air.-

NYALAH: hot -remarks, not even hiding the fact she's watching.-

MINDFANG: Generous, o8servant and truthful. Not terri8le qual8ties.

[[ The irregular wind patterns blow the puff of smoke back in mindfang's face. ]]

MINDFANG: -BITCH WEATHER.-

NYALAH: other ways to be the terribles

MINDFANG: -Squints to protect her good eye from the blow back.-

MINDFANG: There certainly are.

WIND: =ruffles up her hair=

WIND: =knocks off her hat=

GROUND: =gives her a wedgie=

NYALAH: -eyes grow round at this sudden weirdness.- ..............................whet

MINDFANG: -ALASKA CAN FUCK OFF. And good thing she wasn't wearing a hat.- (Fuck!)

MINDFANG: -Holds the cig between her lips as she fixes her hair.-

[[ It's not weird. It's just normal human weather. Which, yeah, is a bit weird. ]]

MINDFANG: -Is the weather going to keep harassing her? Is she going to need to tie her hair back to protect it?-

WIND: =WOOSH!=

NYALAH: -staring at her doobie... she's barely had 1 maybe 2 hit.-

MINDFANG: -Gdi. That's it she's quickly braiding her hair to keep it from becoming a tangled mess later.-

MINDFANG: Are you alright there. Or are you already faded.

MINDFANG: -Speaks at her while staring at the fire.-

NYALAH: only watching

NYALAH: sp33ks when spoken to ye

NYALAH: -the temptation to bat her braid is so overwhelming-

MINDFANG: -Do so at your own risk.-

WIND: =nudges the very tip of mindfangs braid. OH the temptation=

NYALAH: -she is not strong... she baps, ever so gently-

MINDFANG: -Just as fast as she had grabbed the lighter earlier she is trapping Nyalah's hand in a tight, chilly steel grip.-

MINDFANG: -Slowly turns her head to look at her again.-

MINDFANG: I care a gr8 deal for my hair. Do not touch it without permission. -Don't touch her in general without permission.-

NYALAH: -she sure likes dying and being dead. Just gazes with her hand caught like it is.-

TEREZI: =is return with 1 rabbit and several fish fillets. awww....they're holding hands!=

TEREZI: H3Y 3V3RYON3

TEREZI: TH4NKS TO NY4L4H 4ND K4RKL3S W3 F34ST TON1GHT >:]

TEREZI: WHOS HUNGRY?

MINDFANG: -Waits a few more moments for any sort of verbal response but when none comes she releases the cats hand.-

MINDFANG: -Sucks the entirety of the rest of the cigarette in one go, holds it for a few counts, and then breathes it out.- If you need help cooking, feel free to inform me. -Doing it herself is better then letting someone else burn their food supplies to ashes.-

NYALAH: hurt -staring at mindfang.-

MINDFANG: You aren't hurt. Try wiggling your fingers and you'll see that.

NYALAH: speaks to me like this

NYALAH: again -rasps. A request, a warning, it's hard to tell.-

MINDFANG: .........

TEREZI: =she's going to....go over here now.=

MINDFANG: -This cat is weird.-

TEREZI: =She settled on the other side of Karkat, bemoaning the lack of seasoning. They can always cry on it, she supposed. Where was Flavortown when you needed them?=

NYALAH: -way too wide eyed and hyper focused on Mindfang's movements. None chill cat.-

MINDFANG: -Narrows her eyes at the cat. Nyalah is making her uneasy with all this staring.- If you have a pro8lem with me say it.

MINDFANG: And do not expect an apology for half crushing your hand.

NYALAH: bitch does as bitch is none apologies no

NYALAH: but even she n33ds sl33ps too

NYALAH: cant be speakings as she does

NYALAH: if she has no tongue

TEREZI: =glancing between these two=

NYALAH: -huddled, coiled and dangerous with eyes that are reliving one too many unpleasant things with her hard stare at MF.-

MINDFANG: Oh I'm sorry the wind seems to muffle voices at times, for a moment it sounded like you were threatening me.

MINDFANG: 8ut o8viously that can't 8e the case, 8ecause you would have to 8e either incredi8ly stupid, or have a wish of self destruction.

MINDFANG: -Stares back at her, the coldness of the air has nothing on the ice in her eye. Do you really want to take her on?-

NYALAH: -imagining very loudly what it's like to gouge out that eye staring down at her. If Mindfang's empathy abilities mean anything.-

NYALAH: -continues staring unblinkingly with the words that circle in her thinkpan. Reminding her of the echo excuse she was for a troll.-

NYALAH: death would be favor

NYALAH: wouldnt have to listen no more

NYALAH: wins for me either way

MINDFANG: -She feels a vague sense of Nyalah's intent towards her. It helped that for a moment she had been trying to pry her way into Nyalah's mind in her subtle way that would feel nothing more then an slight itch.-

MINDFANG: Then it's a shame im not currently in the market of executing mem8ers of our party. You have use, don't go looking for serious injury.

NYALAH: bite deep nook

NYALAH: coward -It's amazing how she keeps her voice at the same volume, the same rasp, the same tone as she says terrible things.- and eat the words you says

NYALAH: wheres they belong

MINDFANG: -The only reaction that comes from her is a small smile stretching across her lips.- What charming ideas.

MINDFANG: -At that she is standing and dusting herself off as if they weren't just having this rather heated conversation.- I 8elieve I'm warm enough to 8e useful again. -It never hurts to have more firewood.-

NYALAH: bye arrisa -watching her go. She IS going to have to sleep some time.-

MINDFANG: -You'd be surprised how little she actually sleeps.-

MINDFANG: -Waves Nyalah off as she leaves.-

[grubhivemind]

KOUGAH: =He knows that it is rather late but Kougah has asked Jace if he could come over. Seeing as he is to court Jace he plans on doing it properly without missing any steps to it. He has everything he needed in a basket and now knocks. There are quite a few things he needs to start with so it's pretty loaded honestly. He's been a busy, busy boy=

JACE: -it's never too late to visit him, honestly!! he's usually awake anyhow, but he'd get out of bed just to entertain this particular guest. he eagerly opens up the door when he hears the knock and smiles brightly at his visitor.- Hi!

KOUGAH: =A cute smile on a cute boy= Hell0. Thank y0u f0r all0w1ng me 0ver. =nods to him and also... soft face touch. The affectionate one. He'd nuzzle his face but that'd probably be weird???=

JACE: -gosh... he touches kougah's hand in return before he takes it up in his own to guide him inside.- Of course... Youre always welcome over!

KOUGAH: =Yess... holds his hand= 1 apprec1ate that. 

KOUGAH: 1've als0 begun tak1ng measures t0 better pr0tect y0ur h0me as well as y0u... th0ugh t0 d0 well. 

KOUGAH: 1t 1s m0stly. The th0ught. Beh1nd 1t.

JACE: -blinks at him.- Youve been... protecting my apartment???? -what does he mean...-

KOUGAH: T0 the best 0f my ab1l1t1es. 

KOUGAH: 1've el1m1nated the p0ss1b1l1ty 0f a few phys1cal threats.... th0ugh 1 supp0se n0t very many pe0ple here have sens1t1ve n0ses. And 1 d0n't th1nk traps w001d be acceptable. Th0ugh f0r th0se wh0 may reg1ster the d0m1nate scent 0f a predat0r they w0n't trespass. 

KOUGAH: =Turns to the door then pauses..... this is one of those... temporary lodgings= 

KOUGAH: Hm.... am 1 perm1tted t0 etch runes 1nt0 y0ur d00r?

JACE: ....... - WHAT DOES HE MEAN BY DOMINANT SCENT. - 

JACE: Uhhh. 

JACE: I dont think my landlord would be okay with that........

KOUGAH: =HE IS DOMINANT AND IT IS HIS SCENT= 

KOUGAH: Hm.... 

KOUGAH: That was the preferred meth0d. But 1 als0 have th1s cl0th 1've sewn them into. 1 have c0me prepared. =Puts the basket down and offers Jace the grey cloth and it does have all sorts of symbols sewn with black thread= 

KOUGAH: =He also hands Jace a sizable tooth. It's the half the size of his forearm= Th1s 1s fr0m a k1ll 1 w1ll br1ng t0 y0u later. I'm aware humans d0n't eat raw meat s0 1'm prepar1ng 1t f0r y0u. =Yes... a good provider=

JACE: :o -he's admiring the runes on the cloth with much interest and then...- 

JACE: ... O h hhh.... Oh. Wow. Would you look at that. -takes it??? holds it in his hand???? screams internally.- 

JACE: Ummm. Thank you.  I really appreciate the effort that you went through. 

JACE: .... -mutter mumble- (But I dont...) 

JACE: (Eat meat at all...) -mumble mutter-

KOUGAH: =He has good hearing so he catches the mutter, one ear lowers and he slowly puts a wrapped parcel back into the basket and nods deeply at Jace. Wheezing internally= 0h.... 1. Am very s0rry... 

KOUGAH: 1 sh001d have 1nqu1red that bef0re. Tell1ng y0u. 

KOUGAH: Everyth1ng... 1 w1ll st1ll make use 0f the-- 

KOUGAH: Ah... 1 can. take the t00th. 1f y0u w1sh. =hhhhhh=

JACE: ........... Yes. -casually shoves it back at him.-

JACE: Im sorry!! You went to all that trouble. :(

KOUGAH: =He's quick to put it out of sight and lifts his hands, sweating= N0. 1 h0nestly. Had assumed. 1t was wr0ng 0f me. 

KOUGAH: 1'm aware 0f. Alternat1ve l1festyles. Th0ugh 1 d1d n0t ask 1f y0u ate meat. 

KOUGAH: That was a blunder 0n my part and 1 accept full resp0ns1b1lty.

JACE: Well... I dont mind. Most people dont ask anyway... 

JACE: Im just glad you thought of me. And... Uhhh. Prepared a meal for me! Thats really sweet. Honest.

KOUGAH: 0f c0urse... 1 seek t0 sh0w y0u that 1 am a pr0f1c1ent meal pr0v1der as well as sh0w1ng my strength. 

KOUGAH: 1nstead 1 w1ll.... f0rage. =Yes.... he's gonna... gather so many things=

JACE: ... -grins a little about that.- Thats... definitely a desirable skill. Hehehe. -kougah's cute.- 

JACE: What else would you like to show me...? -:eyes:-

KOUGAH: 1 als0 have br0ught y0u s0me freshly made med1c1nal herbs... and 1. Am h0nestly unsure ab0ut 1f th1s w1ll w0rk away fr0m the m0unta1n. 

KOUGAH: But... hm. Well. Usually c0urters and c0uples w001d release themselves t0 run un1nh1b1ted. Unt1ed t0 anyth1ng phys1cal. 0nly all0w1ng the purest and m0st vulnerable parts 0f themselves play and bec0me fam1l1ar... but w d0 n0t kn0w 1f y0u can pr0ject y0ur c0nsc0usness fr0m y0ur b0dy.

JACE: -calculating meme as he explains until it all comes together at the end.- Oh! ... 

JACE: Yeah ummm. I cant say Ive ever astral projected before. But... that doesnt necessarily mean I cant??? Stranger things have happened...

KOUGAH: Y0u're very smart. 1 bel1eve y0u w1ll be able t0. 

KOUGAH: 0nce d0ne 1t 1s a useful sk1ll f0r l1ghter med1tat10n. 

KOUGAH: =stares at Jace from his squat= D0 y0u med1tate?

JACE: Oh, yeah! Sometimes... It helps with the anxiety... Um. You know, whenever I can focus on sitting down and actually doing it...

KOUGAH: =nods= Then that w1ll be useful. As y0u are already tra1ned trained 1n 1t. 

KOUGAH: 1t 1s a g00d pract1ce. 1n detach1ng y0ur sp1rt fr0m y0ur phys1cal f0rm y0u channel y0ur aur1c energ1es t0 man1fest 1n an appar1tion-l1ke 1mage.

JACE: -looks around thoughtfully, then starts picking up some things from the floor to dump into his sylladex.- Can we do that now? Can you show me how to do that? :O 

JACE: -after clearing a spot, he sits down crosslegged on the floor.- :)

KOUGAH: =Watches him clean then sets the basket to the side, nodding once= Yes. 1'm glad y0u're s0 eager. =He really is though.... it's really a vulnerable thing, not only leaving yourself utterly defenseless with the trust that you won't be attacked but also baring your form where it can be manipulated.... He's a little sweaty though he's supposed to be relaxing.= 

KOUGAH: 1t's c0ns1derably stra1ght f0rward. 

KOUGAH: Relax1ng y0urself then f0cus1ng 0n the energy that res1des 1n the c0re 0f y0ur be1ng, w1ll1ng that t0 man1fest 1nt0 the f0rm y0u des1re th0ugh 1t 1s eas1est t0 all0w 1t t0 f0rm naturally. =Exhales and lets his shoulders fall, moving from his squat to sit on his legs. A small moment of silence passes but then a light blue luminous light floats out of Kougah like smoke, taking the form of a wolf of course. One that sits before his body and watches Jace, it seems (and is) tangible by the depths and details of the shadows in its fur=

JACE: -eyes widen at the sight of the apparition. wow, kougah makes it look so easy... he's tempted to reach out to touch the spirit beast, it looks so inviting. and though he's a little hesitant at first, he does splay his fingers out over it's fur.- Oh... Wow... -looks past it at kougah, HOPING that's alright.-

KOUGAH: =The fur is soft, very soft and it's deceptively warm to the touch despite the cool, icy blue of it. As Jace looks past him though the wolf huffs out it's nose and sits up straighter. Hello. It is I. In the form I would be in if I weren't such an unfortunate creature=

JACE: -wow... looks at wolf kougah with shiny eyes, a smile spreading across his face.- Wow... Youre a beautiful wolf. Hehe. -pets him up, taking advantage of this before he gives it a try himself.-

KOUGAH: =What is this feeling? .... Confidence. Yes, he is feeling prideful because this form is absolutely gorgeous and large and majestic and he's only one of those things and not so much the other's as a troll. The wolf  drinks in all this affection readily, the energy thrumming and pulsing  under Jace's hand. A little warmer and just the yellow creeping into the edges of this light. A good, warm happy feeling=

JACE: -the warmth tingles at his fingertips and up his arm until it settles in his stomach with a happy flutter. it's relaxing enough that he feels he can give this a shot too, drawing his hand back and closing his eyes so he can focus.- 

JACE: -honestly, he isn't even sure what his spirit would manifest in the form of... he knows he LIKES monkeys best, but does that mean they ARE him? okay, he probably shouldn't overthink that... it'll only make things more difficult. instead, he thinks of that proud look about kougah as he took on this new form. jace knows deep down there's a part of him he's proud of too, the part of him that represents him in ways more powerful than all the things he finds ugly about himself...- 

JACE: -there's a long moment of silence before he finally shows results. the tendrils of his inner self slowly creep from his body, twisting and turning with uncertainty until they form a spindly limbed, prehensile tailed spider monkey. and the cute little monkey is surprised he exists!- :O

KOUGAH: =Intently watches as Jace concentrates and gives him space to focus, it isn't easy letting go and just allowing things to happen and it was also something easily disrupted. Kougah just sits and stares, his ears perk as the energy starts to creep out. Honestly he is curious as to which form Jace takes on. He won't use it to judge character or read (too much) into it but every shape is interesting and has a purpose of its own= 

KOUGAH: =The monkey is greeted with a NOBLE lowering of the wolf's head, tail wagging happily. A monkey is very good, a nice reflection of Jace's intellect and gleeful personality. More warm yellow is shown in the blue, good job.=

JACE: -a happy warm glow eminates from him as well at the perceived praise and he romps on over to kougah again, a little awkwardly as he tries to understand this form, but ultimately winds up in kougah's space again. he paws at his bowed head and just... kinda hugs his snoot. this is so surreal and amazing and he's grateful for this new experience.-

KOUGAH: =Its a learning experience. How to move and really let your spirit just move naturally. Their touch grows warmer between them, some feelings pass. Jace's excitement and thankfulness repeated back to him but in Kougah's own emotion. It is a very vulnerable state. Jace can feel the slight embarrassment from this pass of information, a flicker of interest and  curiosity, then so many warm feelings as he nuzzles him gently. Him lick.=