#im gonna throw up i cant keep going
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snekdood · 1 year ago
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"if we make america worse and more of a dictatorship that will be even harder to unravel and make it the way we want the country to be, maybe then everyone will join our Glorious Revolution!" bb girl you cant even be in the same room with someone who thinks you should vote, how in tf do you think you're gonna unite people to fight in The Revolution with you? it's gonna be you and your 5 friends, i hate to break it to you.
#i dont think you realize how repelling you and your politics are to everyone else#you get all of your validation for how Smart You Are from your friends and ignore any kind of feedback that suggests you should#change or do something differently. thats the only reason you're so convinced average people will go along with you bc you keep getting#affirmation from the people who ALREADY agree with you- but you have NO IDEA how to bridge the gap between people who agree#with you and disagree with you. you're horrible at convincing people of your side of things outside of straight up guilt tripping them#or bullying them like a highschooler. im sorry but the tools you learned to survive with as a kid aren't gonna help you in this situation.#the ONLY THING you can come up with to bridge that gap is a bloody revolution. thats how bad you are at this.#and you're also so bad at this and unimaginative that you dont even realize how THAT might not even be enough.#you cant imagine ANY kind of avenue to getting people to change AT ALL outside of blood and fire. and thats why people call you#an authoritarian.#i'll be honest- i really do think the world would be a better place if we did incremental change under a democratic president who wont#set the world on fire vs the godkingemperor republican WHO WONT EVEN LISTEN TO YOU AT ALL EVER AND MIGHT KILL YOU#FOR PUTTING UP A STINK. idk if you noticed but if that evil fuck gets into office we are severely outnumbered if he gets police#n shit to go after his own citizens. letting trump win is making this battle so much harder than it needs to be.#you are choosing trying to fix the world while its exploding vs trying to fix it before it explodes at all.#what is this like a procrastination thing? you wanna wait till the last minute to try? idfgi. wtf is wrong with you#throwing minority lives away to prove a point. and then you try to tell me you care. gtfoh.#accelerationists should never be taken seriously.
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cimmerian1275 · 6 days ago
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*SNEEZES*
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Oh, whats this u ask? This is just the sketch... -> Finished Version
I was listening to 'Kiss The Sky' from Wild Robot and my pen went nyoooooom-
Been dying to draw Leo in a cool "falling through a portal" pose, i also wanted to make a wallpaper for my phone C:
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xxplastic-cubexx · 7 months ago
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Understandably So no one mentions charles when talking about the Logan movie and again Understandably So This Aint Bout Him however i do confess that as someone who had never seen Logan until like. a month ago when i was binging all the movies and without knowing a single thing about it aside from laura i cant lie i was in fact jumpscared by him being there. especially for at least like 3/4s of the movie
#xmen#logan movie#snap chats#i be ramblin today hello ...#it was a pleasant jumpscare. yk until he died. after realizing he committed atrocities by accident 😭😭💀 OLD MAN NOOO#but no please LIKE I READ THE DESCRIPTION WHEN GOING TO WATCH RIGHT#AND I WAS JUST THINKING 'oh he'll probably be here for like twenty minutes. wdym he's here for way longer than that'#i THINK years ago i REMEMBER seeing a screenshot of the hotel bit with laura and charles but again that was years ago#and i might be tricking myself maybe its a false memory jealvvelka either way i just know they were cute :(#point is he was here for. i cant even say So Little cause again He Was Here For An Hour And Thirty Minutes Out Of Two Hours#and lets be clear 'snap has your brain molded that much you know exactly how much screen time charles gets in the movies'#girl no not yet i only know exactly when he punches his clock cause i had to keep restarting the movie cause it kept pausing vjAELKAJE#and it just so happened to struggle literally like. ten minutes after he dies- like when logan was dealing with x24 THAT part#so rude for that.. anyway I Repeat i miss charles and laura bein cute :(#it wasnt a lot but it was just sweet.. i always like how charles always got that Professor in his soul with these movies#like in dofp when logan's losing it after. getting future ptsd jvALKVLAJ??K charles is there to ground him#despite being. Like That vjeaLKj like sir please ily. i will accept the Youre On Acid answer youre trying your best#and then with THIS movie evidently charles is having. the worst time upstairs#but he's still super sweet with laura like oh stop you grandpa im gonna throw up#and to STRESS. they were EVIL about that wholesome dinner bit like :((( oh to see the fam happy and safe again :(((#like im throwing up frankly. people were right this movie IS sad i underestimated their assessment 😭#to lighten the mood in my heart. charles really do be an old man in this movie hes such a menace to logan JELKAK#god. Most Normal X-Men Movie Watcher Focuses On Professor X During The Movie About Logan VEJLKJA#ok im done. sorry i just keep replayin that bit in my head where theyre in the car and logans just 'Did You Take Your Meds SHOW'#like pelase. jaeRLKEaj ok im gonna try drawing i looked at my wall long enough and i think i can draw something
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bedforddanes75 · 6 months ago
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i just think you deserve eternal happiness actually. funny and actually nice. u are jesus. anyway No pls i AM AFRAID u are simply too cool and i cant deal
#“cant deal” im a millennial at heart x#ok no i love u though#asks#mewtuals#blah blah!#ok im talking here u asked for this basically im going insane theyre so fucking stupid like i know im the one who made them but they keep#NOT SPEAKING anf its so annoying like can you stop being teenage boys and start knowing how to fucking SPEAK#also i am NOT being a creep i dont focus on it its literally not mentioned but theyre in college okay.#well one of them is#no wait both of them are Sorry i tell a lie#anyway its pissing me off like dude can u grow UP and be COOl omg its makign me mad like i could literally just make them know but also im#obsessed with making it “realistic” (its literally rpf girl) and like i dont wanna go to the opposite end of the spectrunm and make them ha#all that therapy speak like omgmfgnfkjnhkj its making me mad.#and like ?? i wasnt coming out in 2007 omh wait no wrong time i cant do times I WASNT COMING OUT IN THE 2000S IS THE POINT#SO HOW AM I MEANT TO KNOW JOW THST WOULD GO OMFG#imgonna bite someone im so mad#like i just checked it's 25593 words.#TWENTY FIVE THOUSAND FIVE HUNDRED AND NINETY THREE WORDS. THAT IS RIDICULOUS#FUCKING NOTHING HAPPENS IM HONNA THROW UP#but also im obsessed w word count so im hesitant to dlete ...#no ok all scenes are important i think but uuugggggghhhh LIKE OMDGFNJGNFJNH#anyway im so mad like can u just stop being stupid dude im gonna beat myself up#no because like why did i start this. what relevance does this have to anything.#it is. to be fair to myself. i think the best thing ive ever written though#so#everything is FINE and i am a okay
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jamiethebee · 2 months ago
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I'm sitting .... Trying to live with everything I was left with at the end of the novel.... And all I can come to is:
Kim Dokja is loved.
He is so loved.
He is loved he is loved he is loved he is loved he is loved he is loved he is loved he is loved he is loved.
He. Is. Loved.
It doesn't matter how you interpret the various relationships, no matter how you look at it, no matter who you think about (from the main cast), they love him 。⁠:゚⁠(⁠;⁠´⁠∩⁠`⁠;⁠)゚⁠:⁠。
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todayisafridaynight · 1 year ago
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youre so right omg literally barely see anybody talking abt mine and Daigos special bottle of sake like that’s so ???? tragic????? it’s so sad and gut wrenching in a way i can’t explain like it’s probably still there in shellac collecting dust on the shelf……. they make me feel SICK
i cant stress how special Kirin's Dream is to me, like genuinely it's probably my favorite rggo story bar mine and daigo's goofy bar date gone wrong because it makes me so indescribably emo after reading it
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xviruserrorx · 4 months ago
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I really hate having to depend on people to get very very important things done
#oh the joys of being disabled and not being able to do thing or having to constantly get help with things#literally have been asking my landlord MONTHS gor paperwork i need from him#and ive been trying to get other paperwork and documents from people that i otherwise should have had#but i was in the hospital and very sick so i dont have these documents and so now im trying to get them but#its just so annoying and im suffering because its affecting my health and people just dont care and im so frustrated#and i also still am not able to drive and i dont have money to get the bus or anything and Aahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh#and im still trying to get like my frivken birth certificate from my mother because she had all this stuff because i was sick#and again in the hospital and when i finally got out and tried to get a grip on all my legal medical stuff#i find out that she just let it all go to waste and she literally told me that she was just waiting for me to get out#so that i can handle it myself when jsncjsncjsjcnccn#THATS WHAT SHE LITERALLY WAS THERE FOR SHE HAD ALL MEDICAL RIGHTS BY ME AND SHE DIDN'T DO IT#and gosh... i just really hope i still qualify for disability because i cant work ive tried to do it and#i literally worked a 9-5 day and the next three days after that i was running a fever and throwing up#i thought it was a one time thing so i tried again and the same thing happened#and i keep fricken trying and it keeps happening and its frustrating my body wont tolerate working#and im stressed because the person coming into presidency doesn't like disabled people and i feel like im just not gonna qualify#i just hope i qualify for the insurance part at least thats what i really really need because yeah just yeah
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girl-bateman · 9 months ago
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Feeling sick! Like emotionally and whatnot
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infizero · 2 years ago
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im going fucking insane DELTARUNE i need DELTARUNE i cant fucking TAKE THIS SHIT ANYMORE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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phagodyke · 1 month ago
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was just saying to my friend that since my period is due next weekend I probably won't be able to hang out bc it'll be difficult to walk from my room to the bathroom let alone like. to the station anyway just suddenly became aware that the continuous cramps I get in this stage of my cycle have been slowly increasing in intensity the last few hours so we may be on course for a week earlier start than usual. locking down all defenses rn......🚨🚨🚨🚨
#i always try and mentally prepare for how much its gonna suck dick and balls but every time it actually starts im caught off guard#i hate being in agonising pain i dont wanna have to do it!!!!!#not as if anyone likes being in agonising pain anyway but still..... i mean if it does start tn that would definitely explain a lot#like the insane insecurity ive been having. and other symptoms. but it should be too early i didnt even ovulate that long ago#whatever man theres no rhyme or reason to it i should know that by now. the worst part is gonna be feeling alone when im in pain#well no its not the worst part is the pain but emotionally the loneliness is gonna wreck me i can never prepare enough for it#my problem is that i get extremely needy in pain it makes me feel like a fucking toddler. but i cant allow myself to be around ppl for#comfort and reassurance bc it gets so overwhelming im not able to maintain the usual rules n boundaries i have to follow#i mean im needy anyway all the time but at least i work hard to keep myself in check so i dont cross other ppls boundaries#losing that inhibition is just bad for everyone involved and really embarrassing for me so its easier to just suck it up and feel shite#and i get soooo tearful and easily upset over the stupidest shit like even if i can keep a lid on it and not throw myself at everyone#i get so jealous over other ppl being able to express themselves or getting comfort that i get fucking nauseous i cant be in the room#it makes me want to dieeee its dumb as fuck. anyway my point is. well i dont know what my point is actually#it might be best for me to skip next weeks plans anyway bc ill work myself into a fucking tizzy abt it in my post period exhaustion#i cant third wheel my friends while im in a state like that its too much. its hard enough third wheeling on a regular day anyway#like ok i get it u guys are much closer n have different boundaries w each other than u do w me. thats cool. please dont make me watch#when im feeling wretched and want things worse than normal. ugh anyway sorry ruminating again. i tried#just really anxious abt the pain properly starting but i know theres no avoiding it. oh well. ill take some painkillers in advance#i have some leather repair to work on and then i might draw a bit. and then back to cooking i have brisket slow cooking rn#so fingers crossed thatll take my mind off spiralling. sniffs pathetically#wait i need to go blind bake my tart lets start w that okayyy bye#.vent
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hotroadkill · 1 year ago
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today 2 years ago i was in america and i had the worst hangover of my life and i was in a waffle house with my friend in awkward silence bc we’d fought in a stranger’s kitchen the night before and the server refilled my water for the 5th time while i fought to swallow half a forkful of hashbrowns and she said “i know that look, y’all had a good time at the superbowl last night” and i was thinking actually we had a mediocre time at a nerd bar where u throw darts and all the drinks r named weird things and anyway my friend gives the fakest laugh ive ever heard followed by “yep we sure did” like are we in a CW show right now what was that line delivery and also what even is the superbowl i was born here and should know but honestly i’ve always just pictured everyone gathering at a comically large bowl of cereal but her nametag says leslie and she’s really nice and she’s refilling my water for the 6th time so yeah sure whatever i’m a red blooded american i’ll be anything for leslie in this moment anything and she tells us stories about working at bars downtown and my friend tells me bad jokes and i feel a little better even though my heart is kind of withering away because my flight is in 17 hours and theres not enough time never enough time i won’t see him for another year and a half and i won’t ever see leslie again and if i ever run into the italian stranger who fell in love with me over darts then it won’t be the same because we won’t be dancing and i’m sitting in a waffle house while the sun sets and i’m sweating gin and tequila and my flight is in 16 hours and i have so many goodbyes to say in this
city because when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out much less back together but i feel like ive been trying for eight years all the same and my flight is in 15 hours but maybe if my friend brings me home now i can spend three of those looking for more shards even though i’ll cut my hand because time never wore down any of the hurt because time might heal wounds but it cant really do jack shit about a metaphysical glass shard its still gonna make me bleed and my friend brings me home and we curl up beside each other in my childhood bedroom thats too small for us it was really a supply room but it became my bedroom when i was eleven and i painted it blue and put up stickers of fish and never took them down but someone someday will take them down and hopefully the house burns to the ground before anyone can touch them theyre mine i grew up here theyre mine dont touch them dont please dont please please please i grew up here and my flight is in 12 hours now because i fell asleep beside my friend and he let me because he knew i needed it he kept watch even though we dont have time we never do because he has to go now and all i can give him is a hug and my hoodie to keep safe until i can see him again and fight him in a stranger’s kitchen again and the sun is gone now and i go and i sit with my dad and my flight is in 10 hours and im trying
not to cry im trying to stare at the stickers because maybe if i look at all of it hard enough i’ll get to stay but i dont because thats not how it works and now my flight is in 4 hours because i fell asleep in my childhood loft bed and now i have to leave i have to pack up and go for the fifth time and it never never gets easier and i know i only have a few more trips left until someone takes my stickers down and paints over my ocean but for now my best friend’s stepmother comes with me and my dad to the airport because my best friend is in college two states away and my flight is in 3 hours and i cry i cry so much and she cries too because she loves me and i think it is such a beautiful blessed thing that i am so loved but oh it is so painful too because i spend more time in its absence than its presence and my flight is in 2 hours and i have to go and my dad is waving goodbye and i see it because i looked back because im stupid i always look back i never look forward i’m forever walking blind through my life because i’m looking back and i can tell my dad is crying and now i have to go through TSA sobbing and it’s awkward because they ask are you okay kid and im not but i cant tell them sorry its just that when i was fifteen somebody threw my glass heart onto the floor of my childhood house and bits of it shattered everywhere and fell into the cracks of the floorboards and behind the fridge and i’ll never ever get them out i cant tell them that so i nod yes im okay and i go and my flight is in 1 hour and i hope it fucking crashes and my flight is in the air and im so far away from all those shards on the kitchen floor now but they’re hurting me all the same and i think i look kind of insane sobbing in the middle seat but how can i miss so many people and so many rooms at once and not lose my mind a little bit? i was going to tell you a short witty little joke about the time i realized i was 21 and didnt know what the superbowl was but i think i slipped on a shard. i’m sorry. maybe next time i’ll get it right. maybe in another two years. maybe you’ll never see me again. maybe this is all the time we had.
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lunarflare64 · 5 months ago
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*does something that affects the world around me* okay I need to explode now
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opens-up-4-nobody · 1 year ago
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...
#what does one do when their perception cannot b trusted? im so physically and emotionally exhausted#and i can go from feeling hopelessly terminally bad to completely normal for no apparent reason. and on occasion i can go from normal to i#think i can stay up all night. i never have to sleep again. look how great i can focus. i could kill god.#and i have no emotional object permanence so it feels so stupid when im normal. i cant sympathize with myself in altered states of mind#and it doesnt matter but it makes me crazy the idea that i might not b bip0lar but i just push myself so far that under pressure my mind#splits into the catastrophically positive or negative. but i feel like this is how i have to live. i have to b perfect or pay a blood debt#and thats just how it is. and thats how its been. so at this point ive spend thr last idk 15 years of my life being d#some measure of miserable for no reason. i dont kno y i do this to myself and im 26 now and idk how to stop bc even pushing myself as hard#as i can im so far behind. how am i supposed to do less and not#and not just quit. im compulsive for a reason. there's a fundamental barrier between myself and understanding language but if i do more and#more and more then i can at least try to keep up with everyone else. idk im so tired. and im 26 and im afraid im stuck like this#and i cant even... its like ive split my head in 2 to cope. ive created distance within myself so that i cant fully feel how terrible i make#things for myself. half my brain is always like lol suffer idiot. it throws off my therapists bc i cant take my own pain seriously. ill#laugh and smile while im like yea i feel horrible like most of the time and i dont kno what to do lol. idk so it goes. i think im gonna stop#with the birth control tho. as it doesnt seem to help with my sadness levels. idk if ite making ot worse or not. guess well find out#itll b easier once i dont have to b trained on things. then i wont have to ask a question and burst into tears on my lab mate 🙄#unrelated
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linuxfemme · 11 months ago
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yay for giving up!! can i get a hell yeah for giving the fuck up??
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imthatqueerkid · 1 year ago
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mrsnishimuraaa · 2 months ago
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caught red handed
PAIRING: idol!niki x idol!fem!reader
SYNOPSIS: as engenes tune into enhypens weverse live, but they hear faint noises in the background and realize that 2 members are missing..
GENRE: smut, fluff
m.list
game nights were always fun in the dorms, but you snuck away to have a shower because you were sweaty and hot from practice. the boys hear the bathroom door open and clap in a joking way applauding you for finally coming back. "thank you thank you" you joke and bow sarcastically "ill be back just let me get dressed" yelling out as you closed your bedroom door. "one sec guys i want my hoodie from my room" niki excuses himself from the living room
"yeah okay just watch yourself when you come back, were gonna go live" jay raises his voice so niki can hear as he wanders off, but that sentence goes in one ear and out the other.
your bedroom door opens and you get startled, pulling your towel closer to your body "you scared me!" you huff as niki smiles at you and lies down on your shared bed. continuing to dry your hair in the mirror, as niki sits back and watches you. the towel lifting ever so slightly when you raise your arms to get the top of your head, exposing your bare ass a little bit as niki feels all the heat in his body rush down south.
you can see him in the mirror "done staring?" you laugh at him as he shakes his head smiling "i cant help it" he laughs as he readjusts his legs "just drop the towel its not like i haven't seen you naked before" he was joking at first , until you actually did it. no matter the what felt like millions of times he'd seen your body it always felt like the first, your plump ass and hourglass figure that makes him want to climb walls.
he gets up pondering his way over to you to hug you from behind, kissing the top of your head, staring back at you in the mirror eyes trailing over your naked figure in pure admiration "your so beautiful" his thumb rubs over your hip as he places a kiss behind your ear. your smiling back at him like a idiot in the mirror "how come im naked and your fully clothed" you chuckle as you place your hand over his "oh so you want me to get naked?" he raises an eyebrow , placing his chin on your shoulder. "maybe" shrugging.
but niki takes you seriously, throwing his shirt over his head and also giving you a moment to admire his toned body, tanned skin and sexy abs that you want to ride 24/7 but your snapped out of your thoughts when you hear "you wanna take em off for me pretty?" he runs his hand through your hair, and takes a glance at his sweats. you nod , biting your lip as you take down his sweats and boxers in one go, exhaling deeply as you watch that long dick of his be free.
he chuckles deeply at the way your staring, you can never get over how big he is. backing you up onto the door, pressing you against it that makes a small noise through the house. that the boys in the living room ignore, thinking maybe something just fell.
you feel your lips being engulfed as niki closes the gap, grabbing you underneath your thighs to pick you up and press you against the door, it makes it much easier for him as for how much shorter you are. as he presses you against the door again, supporting you with such ease as you moan into his mouth, hands slinging around his shoulders as his tounge makes its way into your mouth, the messiness of the kiss making it a hundred times better. he sneakily brings a hand to rub through your folds, causing you to moan into his mouth a bit louder this time, arching your back in his hold and pulling his hair tighter.
you feel his middle and ring finger slip into your wet and needy hole, you gasp sharply struggling to kiss him back now as he fucks your warm hole with his fingers, keeping a steady pace earning countless moans and whines from you hes satisfied at the way you can barley kiss him back, he loves the effect he has on you. just before that knot in your stomach is about to snap, he takes his fingers out of your needy pussy. pulling back from the kiss "you want my dick now hm?" he taunts you and you nod at him "words baby" his hot breath on the skin of your neck "please ki, i need it so bad" you beg out to him.
"thats it baby" he breaths out, looking down as he lines himself up with your hole thats practically begging for more. as he pushes in and bottoms out , both throwing your heads back, a sharp inhale from niki as you whine at the feeling of being so full. carrying you a few steps to the desk as he lays you down, never pulling out as he spreads your legs a bit more, before he begins to thrust into you, the sound of moans and heavy and deep breaths fill the room alongside the sound of skin on skin.
'do yall hear that in the background'
'ik im not tweaking out'
'r we being pranked'
the comments on the live pop up, a very very faint sound of moans can be heard in the background, yet the members never notice, all too invested in mario cart to even glance at comments or even open their ears.
."yeah that feels good dosent it?" hes giving you slow yet deep strokes, he knows it drives you crazy. your eyes rolling back as you choke out moans that can barley pass your lips, so dazed in the pleasure of niki's cock hitting that spot so deep in you. he knows your body like the back of his hand, reaching to rub circles on your clit as he gains a steady pace, fucking you deep and passionately watching as your eyes fill with tears from straight plesaure. "oh niki!" your grabbing on to anything in your reach, niki grabs your hand as you squeeze it so hard he thinks you might break it on him.
the squelching sound your pussy makes as he thrusts so deeply into you, the tip of his dick kissing your cervix as you repeatedly moan out his name, its the only thing you can manage to peice together right now. "harder baby please im so close" those words coming out of your mouth and niki is obeying you in seconds. keeping his thrusts deep but now making them so much rougher. it takes the breath out of your lungs as he plows into your pussy with the perfect amount of roughness that has you almost screaming "fuck niki! oh shit!" he knows your close by the way your clenching around him so tightly.
"yeah you gonna cum? cum for me pretty" his words of encouragement send you over the edge, your orgasam taking over you as you moan out his name, chasing his own high he keeps fucking into you, the overstimulating feeling making you whine as he gives one last rough and very deep thrust, filling you to the brim with his hot cum as he throws his head back and groans.
slowly pulling out as you wince at the feeling of emptiness "your such a good girl for me" helping you stand to your feet, placing a hand around your waist as if he knew your legs would be weak. laying down with you, cuddling you and making sure you feel loved and taken care of.
meanwhile comments on the live are still rolling through about it, it was so faint fans couldnt tell what it was at first, but grew to assume it was the two of you, your relationship was public but people did not expect that.
jake is scrolling through the comments on his own phone, having given up on mario cart long ago, he sees a few odd comments
'tell me i wasnt the only one who heard that'
'was that niki and y/n'
jake furrows his eyebrows together, thinking for a breif moment before realization hits him that maybe he wasnt just hearing things. immediately texting niki
jake | 8.39pm
yo are u and y/n in your room?
nikis phone lights up, its just a simple message from jake probably just wondering why the two of you are taking so long, niki replies wit a simple 'yeah , y?'
jake | 8.40pm
bro i was reading these weverse comments and they said they were hearing shit in the background, was that yous?
niki taps you on the shoulder to get your attention and you look over , he replies with 'are you guys live?!'
jake | 8.42pm
yea, jay told you eairler didnt he?
niki just rubs his hands on his face, sighs and replies with ' bro i must not have heard , were they hearing moans perchance'
jake | 8.43pm
yes, that is so wild, i knew i heard smth myself
you and niki have nothing to do exept laugh, looking at eachother as he turns off his phone and throws it onto the night stand.
you guys were trending on twitter the next day.
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