#im gonna go change my tags LOL
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HE RETOOK P3???????? OH MY GOD
#OH MY GOD#OH MY GOD I DOMT EVEN KNOW WHAT TO SAU#what is going on in the house of FIA????#ty to am and flavio for big dicking it around#i rly shouldnt have drank that red bull im actually shaking LMAO#this day has been absolutely wild idek what to sah#again: quoting that seb 2012 Brazil radio#i think it rly fits#BUT HOLY SHIT#LETS FUCKING GO#THIS COULDNT BE BETTER#no offense to george but#GEORGE GIVE THAT PODIUM BACK TO THE LLD MAN#im gonna go change my tags LOL#gotta go tell my dad#f1#formula 1#fernando alonso
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sorry i can't actually stop thinking or posting about auggy they just have that effect (and also some twitter memes!)
#august pierce#akihiro yasumi#and some memes that mention rowan and sev but im not gonna bother tagging them LOL#infamous#infamous if#infamous art#my art#tentatively this might be the endgame canon pairing im going for (90% chance)#however aki and vic accidentally falling for each other also makes me want to start bashing my head into a wall#dont mind me. im just enjoying the ride#drawing this also made me want to do like a spread of his songwriting book i think that would be fun#a la miles' sketchbook development pages#and the lyrics ARE NOT MINE its again h/ippo campus's 'i got time' and a bit of 'cellar door' . only some sliight changes to suit aki more#based also on the fact that bad dream baby was written by jake n raffaella together in bed. such a cute little thing that i couldnt get out#of my system till i drew it with these two
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#BRUHHHHHH I NEED ANOTHER TEASER I BEG YOU RIOT#ITS BEEN THREE YEARS I CANT WAIT TO USE NEW CONTENT FOR GIFS LMAO#personal tag#dont look at me im just here to complain about content drought lmao its really not good in fostering a healthy fandom ngl#because ppl will just hyperfixate and consume media for like a month and then the fandom goes poof right after lol#i miss all the people scrutinizing media every week i miss all the essays pumping out when content arrives#these days its just.... nothing lmao i only really still have arcane in my mind because of fanfiction and a lot of fics have been inactive#ik we're getting new stuff in a few months#and ik we're not in canceled shows hell but like#i really hope that if theres season 3 we're gonna get it a bit more regularly#i really miss it when content was like weekly or every 2 weeks because ppl and the fandom are wayyyy more active during those times#binge culture and netflix sort of changed it lol#i miss it when fandoms were huge!!! i miss it when it was so CHAOTIC lmaooooooooo#I MISS WAITING FOR LONG ASS HOURS WAITING FOR CONTENT TO RELEASE EVERY WEEK!!!! I MISS IT!!!! that was like what 12 years ago LOL#I KNOW arcane is special with their 3 year drought because it takes time to make arcane#but like..... idk man i miss content lmao#iirc they took too long to make s2 bc they have no idea if s1 would be even renewed#so i hope s3 will be a bit more regular now#anyways im gonna go bye bye
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DOODELS
#my art#tryignt o do sm shit help i wanma draw and finish things so baddd#the brown sketches r me crying @ the phrase 'to be loved is to be changed' i wanna make a sad emo angsty comic abt shadows loss and pain an#still endong up with a happy life bc. 🧍♂️ fuck i want that for myself too#THE 2NDD... MY SKY PIRATE GRANDMA MARIA AU 🫶🫶🫶🫶 basically shes super inspired by dola from castle in thsky lol#shes putting makeup on shad bc hes going on his first date ever....#in his 50yr immortal ish ageless life hes going on a date and maria will damn sure make sure hes gonna have a nice one#ehehehe guess whos hes going on a date w....👁👁(obvious)#uhhhh the cat is just older blaze leik burnin blaze inspired by her concept art#one of her hair styles is like fire and im like. thats fuckin cool!!#sHE GETS STRIPED AND GETS FWUFFY WHEN SHES OLDER bc i think its kyut 🫶#makes her related to big the cat ehehehe alt dimension shit or smhtn idk im not thinking anymore#oh fuck i forgot to tag the charas#sonic the hedgehog#maria robotnik#eggman#shadow the hedgehog#blaze the cat#amy rose#sonic chao#uhhh it uink thqts it#sowowiwjekwo#sowwy its a mess
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theyre playing splatoon
#i think piko would be ridiculously good at videogames because he gets machine benefits#ai is stupid in real life but thats not importaint#pikase#utatane piko#fukase#vocaloid#you can tell if i was in pain drawing it i dont make it to the colors and leave everything pink lmao#also this is so random but today that one really peak mikurin artist that used to be all over my twitter tl showed up on my dash#seeing their stuff is part of the reason i made this blog lol#lets go shamelessly indulging in your otp or something#to be honest drawing every day is becoming more of a chore than fun#i think at some point im gonna change the blog name and upload less frequently#i wonder if anyone even reads my tags lol#whatever <3
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what's the buzz, tell me what's a-happening ???
#jesus chris superstar#not really this is just dolokhoded bible. but the quote is jcs !#(well i mean it could be. its not any specific production anyways.)#judas iscariot#he's the only one i tag always#but everyone's there. all the apostles plus magdalene and joanna and susanna though you can't see them very well#im not religious just insane.jpg#remember when i had an art tag#i SAID im gonna draw something proper and i DID IT OKAY#LOOK AT JOHN !!!!!!! OBSESSED WITH HIM !#my normal john design is much lamer but in this weird 70ish but not really in any real timeline 'verse he KICKS ASS#i was going for like. green eyed blonde baby cherub with him anyways but it really popped off with this specific design he's the only one i#changed so much between the two verses.#cause he looked so lame.#this is going to get less notes that like. the stupidest most half assed art i've done for fandoms that actually exist but im going to try#and not care. its fine. its fine#oh sorry for how shit the quality is btw. youre never going to get good camera quality here at tumblr dot com slash dolokhoded lol im#so broke . maybe i'll try to fix it someday.
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got asked to draw two of my old wc rp ocs :-) left is cicadahop, right is scallopstar
#my art#wc oc#squints. its been a dogs age since ive posted anything wc oc related#oc#BUT YA!!!! these guys are old. i think i made cicadahop 2018-2019 but i could be wrong/i have no way of checking haha#and scallopstar was made 2020.? i think? both are vaaastly different#if i were to play them today i think id keep a lot of things the same for cicada. shes just a silly girl who wants to make friends and#and be kind. as for scallopstar. i think id change a lot#one reason: ive gotten a lot better (I HOPE) with storytelling now that ive been playing dnd for a well over a year#and since i also run two different campaigns. two: i have more experience writing a character with an arc that turns them into a villain#three: i was really going through it at the time so. erm. LMFAO plus i was like 16 so ANDKJFGNJDFHBGJH#but yeah!!! kinda crazy looking at my old art and seeing how much ive improved#also a weird feeling to draw them again but not a Bad weird feeling. been doing a lot of reminiscing#thank god we can copy/paste tags bc if i had to rewrite this all id be so sad HAHA#the crop was weird so i wanted to fix it before it was too late lol#since these 2 are ocs im not gonna indicate this was a request the same way i will with the other requests lol
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ur bartkon art legendary
TYSMM!!!!! IM GLAD U LIKE ITT!!!!! <33
heres a silly sketch i prolly wont color :3
#i dont actually have anything 2 say in the tags#huh! mshcjak#kart#konbart#bartkon#puppee answers#puppee art#bleehhhhhhh#OH I DO HAVE SMTH 2 SAY LNAO#I H8 DRAWING SIDE PFPS THEY R WEIRDD!!!#i have another kart drawing & both hvae side pfps & just kike AUFHHHFGHG#y do i do that 2 myself#ndohekdbkabcksf#anyways ty again <333333#i 4 somerrason dont draw kon w/scruff that often i should change that#scruff? is that the right word uhh#i go back 2 watching my show i actually finally got my appointment done in the middle of making this lol#FINALLY!!!#okok i need 2 stop rmablingg#im actually so flattered by this i skjfkskjfkskkg#anytime any1 like tags my art or compliments it i like RLLYYY wanna reply but i feel like that would get annoying#so like just know any1 whos reasing this#i love when any makes any comment whatso ever 2 my posts!!! i giggle i kick my feet its so fun!!#mayb ill start interacting way more bc its rlly bothering me that like im choosing 2 not go w/my urges its weird#I SAID I WAS GONNA STOP RAMBLING & THEN I CONTINUES SHIT SRRY#OKOK IM DONE NOW <3
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odaiba day celebration
#my art#digimon#digimon adventure 02#not tagging all the guys because there's too damn many#my first proper odaiba day as a real fully initiated 'watched all of the essentials' digimon fan can you believe it.#this time last year i had only seen tamers and i was normal about it . i didnt even think about it taht much. oh how times change.#i really wanted to make something bigger than this ..and i still am going to haha. its just on the backburner for now#postponed. as it were. since ive been very busy with art fight up until yesterday and am now very burnt out after drawing an obscene amount#even so i really wanted to draw a picture to try to bottle up my love nad adoration for digimon and 02 specifically since its a holiday lol#its very sloppy and i was gonna do more but i think im tapping out .... so it will have to do for now#hopefully i could convey my feelings :3 enjoy lalala
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still haven't moved on from zane in this episode (aka I hit tag limit again and am unhappy about it)
#alek insanity#not gonna main tag this but prepare for a tiny rant#home is actually really good zane characterization and its super cool to me how it holds up to this day#s1 characterization is very specific to me because the behaviors displayed by the ninja there (mostly) isnt bc thats how they really are but#its due to societal pressure. cole originally being more 'stone faced tough guy' -> 'down to earth' -> 'really sensible easy to talk to guy'#is because hes always been a sensitive guy... but he felt he couldnt express that true version of himself. thats the whole thing behind his#true potential. jay going from s1 -> s6 -> now is less of societal pressure and more teenager figuring himself out but it still applies. ish#seeing how much the ninja have changed or grown from then to now is amazing because back then they all wore masks. they didnt know each#other all that well. but theyve gained that comfortability with each other and also have grown and matured as people#some seasons / eps characterization for certain people im not a fan of (lloyds random misogyny arc in s13) but i mean the overall trend here#and then there is zane. zane in home was pretty dead on to how he behaves now (at least... when it comes to his faults?) and i dont want to#say people skim over that but i am the sf proclaimed n1 s1e2 fan and overthink every scene. zane's early characterization is some of my fav#for him period. he also goes through a ton of traumatic stuff and a ton of bad writing bouts but why he acts so 'weird' or 'distant' has#always been a thread sewn in. he changed so much he stayed the same in a way... if that makes sense. -> ohhh the ninja get mail and he#doesnt? oh he has no family? he quite literally walks away from that situation. oh the ninja are yelling in his face and asking whats wrong#with him? he literally walks away from that situation. he says its to follow the falcon but seeing how he apologized to them by not only#baking a ton of pies (cough... the food fight is what led to him leaving at first) but he also found them a whole entire new house.#zane is unable to truly value what he does for others. insert him in s11 saying he 'tried' to fufill his goal of protecting others.#everything he has ever done still isnt good enough. then the ninja tried to apologize and he didnt really... let them.#that one post about characters putting on facades and that facade being how people really see them. even in fandom. thats zane to me#the guy who lies about being upset and avoids his problems ran away after being yelled at? and he said he wasnt really mad? that is a lie!!#him being a ~360 when it comes to his character development is neat to me because he never hid behind a mask in the same way the others did#cole wanting to seem tough vs being really soft? kai wanting approval so bad he starts being selfish? kai isnt selfish usually!#he is self centered but that is a whole different thing. just wanting to fit in and breaking free of that. zane's true potential came in the#form of 'i finally know why i am not normal' instead of 'i will be my true self'. zane never pretended to not be weird#(instert book) states he literally didnt know why people got mad at him. he just existed and it was 'wrong'. the mask he hid behind was#avoidance. he was pretty open about how he actually was (most of the time). when he was upset he would audibly sigh and walk away lol#but for him saying he wasnt upset / saddened by the ninja... it felt like a moment of selflessness. if that makes sense. he blamed himself#for the monestary burning down. so he didnt deserve the apologies (ish) in the virtues of spinjitzu zane is shown as the generous one iirc#he puts the needs of others over his own. he will bear whatever burden he needs if others are happy. at that same time he doesnt allow
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Gosh I love your art!
But uh whats your favorite deltarune ships?
Thank you so much!! Oh gosh, you really caught me off guard with this one hah!
Well, uh I think it should be pretty obvious which ships I like by now...
It's clearly-
It-
It's obviously...
THOSE GUYS!
#i mean look at them#theyre so adorable together#i mean geez cmon theyre h*lding h*nds what isnt there to love#literally relationship goals fr#ok in all seriousness though there are a couple other dynamics i enjoy besides the royal guards#im just gonna go ramble in the tags hoping i wont get crucified for my takes heh#i think it should come as no surprise that i enjoy the dynamic of a certain reindeer and a certain purple dino-like monster#i am really excited to see where this will go in the next couple of chapters#im pretty laid back as far as other ship dynamics go; i enjoy seeing em even when my brain doesnt immediately go “i ship it” right away#theyre still cute and i am very easily swayed into shipping things so who knows how well this post will age#ok nvm actually i also lowkey ship asgore and rudy ngl i reread the undertale alarm clock dialogue and it was just a little cute ok??#there are a ton of dynamics i enjoy as friendships tho; such as susie/kris; berdly/noelle; susie/lancer; catti/jockington and ralsei/kris#i am aware ralsei and kris had the boat ride thingy together but i am still waiting to see what happens next#since the game isnt finished yet some things i mentioned here might change after i get the whole picture#i mean there are like 5 more chapters to go so a lot of stuff might happen and grow into something else who knows lol#lupucs spam over#ask#anon#lupucs chats
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does anyone have recommendations for fictional media that has like. actual lesbians in it. not like supergirl Two White Skinny Girls, One Blonde and One Brunette Kiss media, or "its implied lesbianism!!!" but just regular fucking lesbians
#i say lesbians but i guess i mean sapphic#im just like. tired of gnawing#and of men also. sorry men in my life i love you but on god if i have to pretend one more man is butch just to get#content that isnt m/m or m/f im going to turn into a horse and run into the wilderness until im saved from the glue factory by a plucky#young woman except instead of letting her have her formative summer where she trains me and bonds w me and wins a competition w me#im going to commit horse suicide in front of her & change her life forever. just because im so tired of bland CW-marketable women kissing &#digging for scraps in a refuse bin while brushing aside 7002993829292929939292929399394 gay and het romances#m text#i will also take nonfictional lesbians if its like a story#not to be whiny on main but one of the hardest hurdles i had to jump wasnt realizing i was a lesbian. i came out to myself and to friends a#lesbian multiple times. but i would always walk it back when a friend would express doubt or a male friend would ask me out#bc i dont and especially then didnt know very many lesbians in person. and so i had to turn to examples#and all i fucking had were fictional women who liked men. or fictional lesbians who were so cleaned and sanitized and prettified#(you all know what i mean right. the 2 skinny white girls one blonde one brunette. im not crazy right)#and i would be like. i dont feel things when i look at these fictional lesbians so i guess i belong back here#(this is also bc my gender ended up being fuckier than i realized but shhhhh)#I WAS GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THESE TAGS but theyre too long and im lost.#anyway the point is if people werent so fucking weird abt fictional or onscreen lesbians maybe thered be a lot more people comfortable bein#out as lesbian#like sorry but this awful ouroboros of 'all lesbians onscreen have to be cute and sanitized' meaning that people write and believe wlw has#to be cute and pure and sanitized (OR a 'badge of honor' bc good for u u doodled two women together or had it as a background in ur fic)#meaning that therefore all portrayals of lesbianism continue to be like this. is just#and im also gonna be honest theres probably a lot of good sapphic media im just in the wrong circles to have stumbled into lol. so#yknow. personal viewer bias here#but i still like swing wildly between overly brandishing my dykeness as a badge to feel like im proving im lesbian#and like. backing up under a blanket bc i dont wanna be weird or annoying or freak people out#but if people just Saw Normal Ass Lesbians. aough.#im going to watch revolutionary girl utena one of these days even if i struggled w the writing style the first few episodes#I JUST WANNA SEE AN OLD BUTCH ONSCREEN GET SOME PUSSY.#like it also doesnt help im mostly femme4butch so seeing 2 femmes on screen is like. okay cool so what. but only femmes are 'marketable'
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I will be forever grateful i can be on this new med. it's one a lot of folks also need and can struggle to have access to! It's important i be on it, especially if i start doing any vid collabs
(some of which, really, all of which, i unfortunately actually need to cancel that were in the preplanning stages, bc the election results have me wanting to wait and see how the general atmosphere of the country is before i agree to meet up with anyone. I feel bad for cancelling, but also i just can't know for sure how safe things are/might be going forward and I'd rather avoid the potential of. ya know. various not great things that could happen at a meet up, tho i would certainly hope they wouldn't. i don't feel like actually addressing them rn, u guys know what i mean)
That said, if the truvada initial side effects could fuck off asap would be so lovely. three weeks at worst, then they should be gone/much better or so i am told. really hope that's true bc losing my mornings to being dizzy and nauseous is Not Working for me lmao. im on week two, and now understand why my new doc said to call if i needed any 'cheerleading' and support to get thru the side effects, bc apparently she's done that for several ppl to make sure they actually make it thru the three weeks and keep on it (lovely of her!!)
#text post#not going to get into the other painful smack of this morning#suffice to say that medicaid does not in fact fully cover vocal therapy/training for trans ppl#even if ur docs feel incredibly certain it is#if i was making a decent bit over minimum wage at consistent hours and already had my current debts paid off mostly#then I'd happily consider paying the chunk Medicaid won't cover but as of now#it would literally be basically two paychecks if not three to cover the estimate for this first visit#and that's only if the poll would have us polling every week like we did before the election#otherwise we're guesstimating it would be upwards of 4 paychecks to cover it#I'm actually gonna get into in here bc nobody reads all my tag essays (fair valid and correct)#im really sad abt this. my voice gets me clocked a lot and while i can mostly handle like. visually being clocked#my voice giving me away genuinely makes me feel a pain in my chest. i can't get my customer service voice to go lower yet#and even if it's my usual voice I've made minimal progress on my own self done vocal study stuff#so like. no one knows how high it was compared to how it is now tho so no one actually hears it as anything near deep#which it isn't but like. there's been a slightly barely there drop of it per at least a couple ppl in my life#i was probably going to be able to learn how to sing again and find my new range. I'd fix my customer service voice#even if it would only ever be a teeny bit lower than how it is now. it would be lovely#im not gonna get too down tho bc someday hopefully I'll be able to make it happen/afford it#and for now...im doing the bad thing of not cancelling the appt yet#i will bc they're booking out for months and it isn't right of me to take a spot i know i can't keep#but. let me pretend i can for another day or two. maybe until monday. then I'll call or msg them on mychart#and let them know i just don't have the funds rn tho i do deeply appreciate that Medicaid at least pays part of it#im just not at a point where i can cover the rest but that I'll reschedule/have a new referral sent whenever that changes#...and hopefully things in this country will be of such a state that such care is still available to ppl like me.#but that's all we're saying on that bc im already having a pathetic little cry over this#(im fine the med side effects have me crying over everything lol i see a sad commercial and Instant Tears like someone died lmaooo)
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revamped a few things regarding gut stuff + a taste of angels' fuckass technology heehee ^^
angels have a completely liquid brain thats contained in a thin membrane, supported by a sheet of cartilage thats absolutely PACKED with nerve endings. having a liquid brain allows them to take a lot more damage to the head without fear of brain damage. theyre fucked if their skull gets pierced however, as once air gets in their skull, the membrane will pop and send brain soup everywhere. luckily for them though, their skulls are both thick as hell AND have a layer of fat and muscle to pierce through first.
their sails can fold down now, as well as their front teeth now being able to move similarly to a parrot beak(LOOK UP PARROT SKULLS THEYRE FUCKIN WILD) allowing them to grip onto prey better. angels eat rocks in order to strengthen their bones so i changed up the coloration of their bones to reflect that. depending on what minerals they eat, angel bones can vary in colour as the colour of the original rock gets mixed in with the original calcite bones. old angels will also eat gemstones and other sparkly minerals so that when they die, their bones(mainly the skull) will be extra sparkly for funerary reasons. some angels will eat gemstones regardless of age just because they like the idea of their bones being extra pretty, even if no one can/will see them.
ever since angels figured out how to harness the processing power of their liquid brains, theyve been using it in almost all technology ever since.
rather than writing things down, angels will use this liquid to store information in a computer-like fashion, and by sending off specific signals into it they can program the liquid to do just about anything. depending on the amount used, these "brains" can record and store memories, open doors, pilot ships, and even replicate and store whole entire people! as long as they have a constant stream of nutrients and regular monitoring, these brains can live almost indefinetley. in order to activate/talk to it, you must be touching any exposed part of the membrane. the tech may not work correctly with other aliens however, due to it being so closely connected to angel biology.
brains that have a consiousness integrated into it are called BUIs(bio-unital intelligence), and are the angels' equivalent to sentient AIs. not gonna go too much into detail about them now since i wanna make a separate post on them, but theyre often created to do more complicated tasks, such as governing highly populated ships and running ground settlements, but theyre also made when an angel's body has been life-threateningly damaged and they dont want to die just yet. this is only done if said nearly-dead angel agrees to it beforehand, as the integration is both painful AND permanent. BUIs dont need to be touched directly to function, and will perform tasks independently of other angels.
gif stills under the cut like usual :3
#AUUUUGH ive been wanting to do a big post again but the cold has been absolutely BEATING my ass whadda hell#owo whats this#angel tag!!! wahoo#speculative biology#spec bio#guts tag for guts stuff yippee#xenobiology#uhh i think thats it lol#yeah turns out coming up with unique ways of intepreting organs is kind of difficult when youve only got google at ur disposal so dont-#-expect my bullshit science to make sense teehee#felt bad about not adding any blockable tags for stuff so im gonna go through my art stuff and tag the more gorey stuff#might redraw the full skeleton but not much will really change aside from some minor differences so maybe later
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aaaaaa
#this is becoming a realy bad issue ruining my life but i cant talk to anyone about it :(#even just it in the wild drives me crazy its so bad ...idk where to go about it#uggh...it really sucks. it sucks so bad. like i literally cannot do anything about it. even if i were to have someone i trust enough to#talk to about it its just so fucking...i cant tell anyone...SO im gonna be vague about it sorry x_x i know ppl get so curious#sorry im venting in the tags because i feel bad making an actual post#not like it changes anything lmao but it makes me feel better#i feel really bad venting on here but its kind of comforting. i wont do it again..or..often#i wish icould fix this. one tiny thing and it sends me into this like...spiral. it sucks. it sucks. its so embarrassing#its making my life a hell i try to avoid it as much as possible luckily its easy to avoid but when i come across it it HITS me#it hits me. like right now. i hate it. and it hits me and it makes me realize how bad it really is and it takes up my mind for hours#like seriously? out of every problem i could have why is it this lol#i wish i knew what was wrong with me.. i dont think its normal..but oh well#sorry for venting im fine ill try to not do it again or at least go in depth like this. its just. ruining my life i have to get it out-#-in some way even if its vague like this. i dont know if this makesm e feel better even#i think im pmsing lol which probably makes it a bit worse so im fine#venting on tumblr is so embarrassing but i just. no one i trust i can talk to about this. this is all i got#sorry for clogging ur dash lol#i wish i was normal -_-#thunder roars
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i just have to write through my feelings about predathos rn cause WOW i was truly leaning heavily in oryms direction of we dont know what that shit do youd have to be stupid to even try. like i was feeling okay with the prospect of them releasing predathos cause it is objectivly the most interesting choice you could make, narratively, from a doylist perspective etc etc, but i wasnt feeling it yknow. and i gotta be honest a big part of that was because i do sympathise with the gods some more than others like on a fundamental level i feel theyve got just as much a right to exist as every other living being in the world, theyre people to me and i simply dont like the idea of them dying/having to flee. and yes okay melora is my blorbo out of them and i hate thinking about her being forced to leave exandria leave nature leave everything she loves and has become and is. i was way more hoping for the resolution of bh not releasing predathos and instead remembering RQs hint that they could strike a deal with the gods as a reward for saving their asses.
and then 114 happened. and i fear it changed me irrevokably. matt did something horrible. he gave me hope. like i already had a sliver of hope that if the gods left maybe vax would be free and alive but also maybe hed just be dead or just gone and anyway he wouldnt want to be saved in exchange for such a sacrifice (not that the people making the choice would be anyone he knew...) but but BUT then matt rq gave him a night. vox machina was given a night. and all of a sudden i cant imagine going back to the way things were. if the gods are saved the world may still be changed forever, but not for vax. he only has a night. then he goes back to her. but. if the gods leave, it can't stay the same, not even for him. im not even sure, despite the hope that matt/rq gave me, that he would be freed if rq left. maybe he is kept by her divine power. maybe he would die, or disappear forever (who knows what happens after death when there are no gods?). or maybe he, given a night of life, would simply feel her grip on his string loosen and fade away, leaving him as he is right now, where he is right now, as the raven queen's last parting gift. either way, death or life, it would be change. either he would get a chance to keep living, or keyleth would get a better chance to move on. and that spark of hope for change killed whatever part of me that still could tolerate him being in her service in perpetuum. i cant stand it anymore. i dont accept it.
despite my deep and complicated feelings regarding this rn i am also remembering that it is all a work of fiction and i am fascinated by the way my opinion on the predathos conundrum could be swayed so quickly and, dare i say, decidedly, by new emotions being stirred in me. and i am examining how even tho i was backing up my opinion with (what i see as) logical and objective arguments, i was still being affected by my sympathies for different fictional characters the whole time - from melora (and the pcs i associate her with) to vax and vm. going though it has taught me something about how people can be swayed on much more serious, real life matters. i truely dont know if ive ever changed my mind so dramatically (regarding both strenght and character of the opinion as well as swiftness of the change) in my life before. before i watched c3e114 i was hesitant at best to the releasing predathos idea, now im rooting for it to happen. and dont get me wrong, i still think orym's argument is the most sane and safe one and if i myself had to live in exandria i would most surely be on his side of the debate. but i dont, im the audience of a fictional story and right now i would love to know just what the fuck that shit do.
#travis's 'i love the red button even if it means delete' keeps playing in my mind#im def feeling it rn#fuuuuuuck i am LOVING the story cr has woven#i feel so much sympathy for so many different sides#except for ludinus he can die in a ditch#truly my strongest hesitation rn is based on just not wanting ludinus to get a kind of win at all lol#he could have made SO many more allies if he wasnt such a dick?????#instead he tries to convince bh in the most condesending way possible and fucking kill kiki#of course noones gonna want to be on his side after that smh#i am also trying to still my mind and prepare for them NOT releasing predathos#i dont want to build up too much hope for something i dont know will happen#at the very least i hope for some sort of change for vax/kiki cause i Simply Cant Take It anymore :')#like shit just TALK guys. set some boundaries. stop sending ravens 24/7#suffice to say i am EXCITED to see where the end of the campaign is going aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa#page#do i main tag it#fuck it we ball#cr3#critical role#c3e114
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