#im gonna get actually tested again too. but i need something to give my work so they aremt mad at me for not being in

[be-good-to-bugs]

uh oh im like. really sick oh fuck

[hyuckiefluff]

hihi! can i request corruption kink with jeno or hyuck?? if thats okay!

a/n: thank u for requesting!! i decided to do jeno bc i haven’t written anything for him yet oh and somebody else requested that i do something similar to my jaemin request with jeno so two birds one stone i guess? anyways enjoy!!!!! psa i got way more requests than i expected so thank u to everyone who sent im gonna try to get thru all of them as quickly as possible (if college doesn’t k!ll me first)

btw thank u for 400 followers! love u all

pairing: jeno x tutor!reader

wc: 2k

content: smut

warnings: cursing, fingering, masturbation, edging (kind of) , mentions of food (ice cream), big dick jeno ofc, backshots yuh!!!, rough sex, jeno is kinda too much in this lol, marking, cum eating, taking risky pics without consent, no after care, usage of pet names like pretty and baby *whispers* and whore. lmk if i missed any

masterlist

Jeno had always liked experienced girls. The kind he didn't have to treat with gloves, who were game for him to fuck so hard that they'd feel it afterward. At least, that's what he thought he was into.

Then you walked into the picture as his little brother's tutor. You were always polite and proper, wearing those buttoned up shirts and pencil skirts that gave off a more mature vibe than your actual age. He knew you recently graduated college, which he liked because you were older than him. But the thing is, you were incredibly innocent and naive. I mean, you didn't even catch on when his brother cracked those not-so-subtle, inappropriate jokes about you.

Jeno wouldn't usually spare a second thought for someone like you. After all, you couldn't even hold his gaze for more than a couple of seconds. So, why on earth was he now holed up in the bathroom, pumping himself to the thoughts of your ass in that skirt? Maybe it was because of how clueless you were, bending over the table to help his brother with his work, offering Jeno a perfect view of your perked ass. He tried to resist, truly he did, but it was hard, especially when your shirt hiked up, exposing the curve of your back.

Jeno had to make a quick exit from the living room, and now… Here he was, working up a sweat in the cramped bathroom trying to imagine your hand, or even your mouth, around his dick instead of his own. Imagining how he'd finish all over your face, leaving you in a state of shock and fluster, those big, innocent eyes looking up at him.

"Shit..." he whimpered shakily, the release of his pent-up load leaving him trembling as the white liquid ended up dripping messily all over the bathroom's curtain. This was getting ridiculous… he needed to fuck someone now.

A sudden knock at the door made him jump, his dick still exposed, flopping around as he hurried to check that the door was securely bolted. He quickly adjusted his pants, grabbed some toilet paper, and tried to clean up the mess as much as possible.

What he didn't expect was to find you standing there when he opened the door, holding a popsicle.

He vaguely remembered you saying something about getting ice cream for everyone because it was so hot. That was right before he had bolted upstairs to deal with his urgent situation.

The popsicle was melting, its crimson contents dripping down your hand and arm. Jeno couldn't help but feel like the universe was testing him, and he swore he felt his dick come alive again.

"Oh, sorry... Uhm... I kind of made a mess," you laughed airily but averted your gaze when the eye contact got a bit too intense "Your brother mentioned you guys had wet wipes in here."

"Uh, yeah, down there" Jeno finally responded after a few moments of silently staring at you. You bent down to check under the sink where he directed you, giving him another tempting view of your ass. You missed the quiet grunt he let out while discreetly adjusting the growing situation in his pants. 

You straightened up after finding the wet wipes, looking somewhat torn between putting the popsicle down to clean yourself or eating it quickly. Jeno sensed your struggle and casually reached his arm from behind you to take the popsicle from your hand, allowing you to clean up properly.

"Oh, thanks," you said, using the wet wipes to clean your arms and the stained area on your shirt.

Jeno silently watched you in the mirror, his attention focused on the way the white shirt clung to your skin as you diligently worked to remove the stain. When you finally looked up, you found him eating the popsicle—the very one you had been licking just moments ago. Locking eyes with you, he noticed your bewildered expression and gave you a lopsided smile "It was melting."

"Oh..." you said quietly, the heat rushing to your ears revealing your flustered state.

You tried to return to your task, but he stopped you by suddenly grabbing your wrist. His own hand was now sticky from the melting popsicle. He pulled you closer to him and reached his hand to your face, using his thumb to rub against the corner of your lip "You got ice cream here too," but instead of withdrawing his hand after, he surprised you by slipping his thumb into your mouth. 

You would have pulled back if you weren’t completely taken aback by what was going on.

With his finger still in your mouth, he playfully pressed the popsicle against your collarbone. The cold sensation sent a shiver down your spine, and your tongue brushed against his finger instinctively. The sight of your mouth enveloping his digit drove his self-control right out the window. He carelessly dropped the popsicle in the sink and leaned in closer, crowding your personal space with his larger frame. His cold hands sneaked under your shirt, and with a quick move, he unhooked your bra straps from your shoulders, exposing more skin for him to explore.

 "Jeno... I don't think this is ri-..right," 

"Why not?" he asked, his face burying in your neck, coaxing soft whimpers from your lips.

"Your... brother... he—"

"He's probably busy googling the answers to his exercises, believe me, he doesn't need you back just yet” He assured, pulling you even closer against his hips, causing your skirt to ride up and reveal your panties.

“I knew you were a whore,” he tutted, realizing you were wearing black lace “You wear lingerie to tutor students?" he chuckled dryly, biting a smile as you attempted to cover yourself.

"I’m n–," you whispered, but your words were cut short as his teeth grazed against your skin, leaving marks and savoring the fruity taste left by the popsicle. He didn't bother with the buttons of your shirt, causing a few of them to pop open from the stretch.

Your bra had slipped down too, partially exposing your breasts.

“You like being used like this, don’t you?" he teased, leaning back to take in the sight of your disheveled appearance. Your bruised neck from the sucking and biting, the strands of hair that clung to your flushed face, and your lace panties on display. 

He reached for his phone inside his pocket and snapped a quick picture of you in that state. Your expression instantly shifted to one of panic.

"What… are you doing?" You tried to slide off the sink, but he pressed back against you, his hips pinning you in place.

"Don't worry, this is just for me to enjoy later."

Then he kissed you, shushing any protests you had. His hand crept undetected inside your skirt and under your panties, his index finger gingerly spreading your folds. The action made you gasp against his tongue and then, without warning, he inserted a finger. The intrusion made you try to press your thighs together but he was standing between them so it was impossible. Every time he pumped his finger inside, his hips rutted against you, and you could feel the tent forming in his sweatpants brushing against your clothed core.

“…‘m gonna fuck you like no one ever has before,” He groaned against your lips.

He intentionally slowed down to a pace that almost seemed teasing as the knot in your stomach became almost unbearable. But given how shameful this situation already was, you didn’t want to ask for more.

"Are you that desperate for cock, hmm baby?" Jeno asked as you instinctively tugged on the waistband of his sweatpants to bring him closer and relieve the friction.

His finger pumped a few more times before he completely withdrew it. The emptiness immediately made you whimper.

"I'll give you what you want then," he replied as he reached into his sweatpants and casually pulled out his dick. You didn't want to stare like a pervert but... wow. You felt your legs quiver just from its sheer size. There was no way in hell you could take that.

You found it difficult to imagine how anything that big could fit comfortably inside of you. 

The smug smirk on his face told you that he liked your reaction "Clearly never seen one so big,"

"Jeno, I can't… we shouldn’t"

"But what kind of gentleman leaves a lady who is obviously in need?" He said cynically as he pulled down your panties.

No more words were necessary, the tension that had been building reached its peak as he aligned himself with your entrance. Jeno tried not to show any vulnerability, but the way your walls tightened around him, even though he was barely inside, was driving him crazy.

As he gradually entered you, soft, breathless gasps escaped your swollen lips. Your hands clung to the sink, keeping you from losing your balance. He stretched you so intensely that it made your eyes roll to the back of your head. You knew it defied anatomical possibility but as he bottomed out, you had a feel that if you touched your lower belly, you might just be able to feel him there.

“'m gonna move," he said through gritted teeth, more like a statement than a question. And with that, he started to thrust, not giving you much time to get used to the feeling of being so incredibly full.

As his hips met yours in a rough rhythm, he mumbled praises while also calling you things you'd never tolerate from anyone else.

"You feel so tight... for me," he groaned, his hand reaching for your face so you would look up at him.

“Eyes up here, doll,” he said in a breathless tone, the pace so fast and rough that it left no room for coherent thoughts. The knot in your stomach twisted, sending waves of almost painful pleasure through you. Your entire body buzzing with his desperate movements.

“J-..J-..Jeno…” His name was the only word that escaped your lips, each thrust causing your voice to quiver.

Suddenly, he lifted you by your ass and turned you around to face the misty mirror. Both your reflections appeared hazy in the condensation-covered glass so he messily wiped it with one hand and then resumed his thrusting. Now, you could see the way your expression changed each time he hit that spot deep inside you.

He continued fucking into you relentlessly, whispering how you would remember the outline of his cock by the time he was finished. His saliva-slicked lips left wet trails on the skin beneath your ear. From this close proximity, you could even hear the soft moans he struggled to suppress. 

Suddenly, a thought flashed through your mind, and with a hoarse voice, you pleaded, "Jeno... don't cum inside."

He hummed against your hair but continued ramming into you, and for a moment, you thought he hadn't heard you. However, just as your orgasm swept over you, he pulled out. You sighed in relief and rested your forehead against the steamy mirror, seeking a few moments of calm.

But Jeno had other plans and wiithout giving you a moment to catch your breath, he turned you around and had you on your knees. You looked up at him confused until he aligned his cock with your mouth.

"Open wide," he said, and with no energy left to complain, you did as told.

You expected him to shove his dick into your mouth, but instead, he stroked it a few more times before releasing his load all over your face. Most of it landed in your mouth, but some also splashed onto your cheeks and chin.

"Swallow," he said with a commanding tone, a stark contrast to the way he gently stroked your face.

You complied, taking in as much as you could. You even used a finger to collect the excess and popped it into your mouth. Savoring it much like you did when you licked the ice cream off his finger. Jeno bit his lip, trying to contain himself before he fucked you thrice more against the wall.

“Go ahead and clean yourself, pretty. You got a lesson to finish," he said, adjusting his sweatpants. And with one last chaste kiss on your lips, he left the bathroom.

[turcott3]

never lose you

luca fantilli x estapa sister

warnings?: cursing, pregnancy, fluff and kissing

masterlist

-

“mark, i threw up again this morning.” you groan, holding the cold towel to the back of your neck as you walked into his room.

“come here.” he waves you over pressing his hand to your forehead.

“nope still not warm. somethings up with you, and i think i might know what it is.”

“i don’t want it to be true.” you whine.

“i know, but you’re not alone. go put on some shoes im gonna take you to Walmart. you’re taken care of okay? we can work it out sis. i’ve got you.”

“thank you.” you reply tearfully as he hugged you.

“i’m always here to protect my baby sis. it’s my job.”

“only by a year and a half.”

“well it’s 2 years when you look at the number.” you giggle smacking his arm.

“go get your shoes,” he laughs lightly, sliding his slippers on. he met you out at his car, nonstop picking at your nails.

“moms gonna kill me.”

“no she’s not y/n. you’re 20. sure you’re young but you’re not a teenager. you’re in school and have a good job. everything will work out. and besides you don’t even actually know yet.” he says shaking your shoulder, forcing a small smile out. you and mark had thankfully always been really close and you knew you could trust him with anything.

once you were checked out at the store, mark paid for everything. you almost wanted to cry. your brother was always supportive but he knew this could be the biggest obstacle of your life possibly.

“you didn’t have to pay for all of this stuff.”

“it’s the least i can do. you’re just giving me stressed vibes and i wanna try to help.” he replies.

“farah has made you a softy.” you laugh and he smacks your arm.

“hey that’s a good thing. we love her.”

“the most.” he giggles, driving you safely home.

“moms at work so, i’ll just sit out here while you do your thing and just come out when you’re ready.” mark says sitting on the end of your bed, turning on a tv show so you could be properly isolated.

you sat impatiently on the edge of your tub, waiting for the timer to go off. once it finally rang, you stood up and walked over to the counter, your breath uneven. you picked up the test flipping it over.

just as mark had suspected. positive.

“mark.” you say aloud, your voice growing weak.

“what is it? do you want me to come in there?” he asks, pausing the tv.

“yeah.” you say wiping a tear.

“whats the verdict?” he asks and you simply hand it to him and he sighs.

“how do you feel?” he asks, looking back up at you.

“i don’t know.” you reply, feeling the tears begin to well up in your eyes.

“do you need anything?”

“i just need you bubba, i’m scared.” you say, calling him the nickname that hasn’t left your mouth since his 12th birthday, choking on the tears that threatened to fall.

“hey no no, don’t cry.” he says pulling you into his chest, cradling your head comfortingly.

“what do i do?” you sniffle.

“you need to talk to mom when she comes home. don’t tell luca first. as much as i know you might want to.” he says,’letting you go and taking the test back out of your hands, setting it on the counter.

“okay.” you reply weakly.

“hey, everything’s gonna be okay. i’ve got your back. one hundred percent.” he states, confirming the sense of comfort he was giving you.

“thank you mark.”

“of course. i can’t believe my homie knocked you up.” he giggles and you shove him jokingly. he’d always joked about you and luca dating but he honestly adored the fact that one of his best friends was able to make you the happiest he’s ever seen you.

“too soon man, too soon.” you giggle, hugging your older brother one last time before exiting the bathroom.

it now felt like a waiting game, waiting for your mother to get home. you waited and waited until you finally got the text that she was on her way. going over and over in your head what exactly you should say to her, what questions you’re gonna ask her. it was all happening so quickly.

“hey y/n.” your mom says walking in the door and you say hello back, letting her get settled. the longer she was home the more nervous you grew. after a few short minutes, you called her into the living room.

“what’s up? you seem so serious.” she giggles nervously.

“mom can i please just ask that you won’t be mad at me when i tell you this.” you start, already feeling the tears well up, mark sitting and listening at the bar. supporting from a distance.

“i mean i can’t promise any-“

“please mom.” you beg, wiping the single tear that fell.

“okay okay, what’s wrong?”

“momma i’m pregnant.” you say, your voice cracking slightly before breaking down in tears once again.

“oh honey.” she replies, hugging onto you instantly.

“i’m sorry.” you cry into her shoulder.

“no sweetheart don’t apologize. it’s gonna be okay.” she says softly, letting you go.

“i’m so scared. we didn’t plan for this at all.”

“i know you didn’t, it’s okay we all make mistakes, but hey, at least we know who the father is,” she giggles, “have you told him yet?”

“no mark told me to tell you first.”

“atta boy.” she winks at him as he giggles.

“are you sure you’re not mad?” you ask, sucking up your tears.

“no y/n, im not mad. you’re 20 years old. you’re not 16 anymore. you’re a grown up.” she says rubbing your arm.

“what do i do? i need help.”

“and that’s why i’m here, im your mother. im always going to help you. you’re my only baby girl, you’ll always be taken care of my love.” she says, wiping your final tear.

“thank you momma.” you reply, hugging her once again.

“why don’t you invite luca over tonight, you can tell him. and if he needs a moment, i’m here. we’re all here for you y/n.” mark adds in.

“that’s a great idea. call him.” she replies and you nod, inviting luca over to stay the night which he of course accepted. about an hour later, luca was walking in the door. your heart dropping at the sound of his voice.

“hi baby.” he says sweetly, walking over to kiss you as you sat anxiously laid back on the couch.

“hi.” you reply before he says hello to mark and mom.

“luca, go sit with my sister. it’s important. but i’m staying right here.” he insists, directing luca back to the couch.

“oh um, are you okay?” he asks, the nerves in his voice ticking immediately.

“well, i’m not really sure. how you react to what im about to tell you will determine if im okay.” you giggle, scratching the back of your head.

“whatever it is, i won’t be mad.” he reassures you, concern filling his eyes.

“lu im-“ you pause, breathing out before continuing, “im pregnant.”

“what?” he replies quietly.

“i’m pregnant luca.” you repeat. he says nothing and pulls you in for a hug. he still hasn’t said anything which wasn’t making you feel the best.

“if you need a second i understand, im still processing it too” you say as he pulls away and nods at your words, mark pulling him into the guest room. you shuffled quietly over to the shut door, pressing your ear against it.

“bro why didn’t you say anything?” mark asks.

“i didn’t know how to reply, i don’t want to upset her.”

“what’s that supposed to mean? are you gonna dump her? are you gonna tell her what to do about it? what is it?”

“no of course not, i fucking love her dude, i love that girl like crazy, i would never leave her to do this alone. ever. i was just in shock. i still don’t even know what to say to comfort her. i know she’s probably taking it really hard.”

“well get out there, and use your words dude. she’s crazy about you. and hearing any kind of words of affirmation ate important to her, especially right now.” mark replies as you quickly shuffle back over to the couch, the door opening once you sat down.

“y/n, i’m sorry i didn’t say anything back. i- i was just in shock. i know this is my fault and im fully prepared to take on that responsibility. whatever you choose to do, i’m here to support you. i love you so much baby. you’re not alone, you’ll never be alone.” he spits out, spilling a few tears taking your hands into his.

“thank you.” you reply tearfully as he presses a sweet kiss to your lips.

“always. you’ll never lose me y/n, i swear to god you won’t.” he reassures you as you cuddle yourself to his chest, leaned back on the couch.

“okay.” you reply quietly.

-

you were about 4 months along now. still sick every morning, back pain sinking in. your belly was still a little small but definitely growing.

“no no fuck.” you whine, your favorite jeans now no longer able to zip.

“what’s wrong? i heard you from out there.” luca says burst through the door.

“luca my favorite jeans don’t fit anymore.” you frown, tears threatening to spill.

“hey no no, it’s okay baby. those jeans will hug your beautiful body again in a few months my love. go put on some of my sweatpants and we can go find you some new jeans. is that okay?” he asks stopping your tears.

“okay. thank you.” you reply softly.

“anything for you, you know i’ll always take care of you.” he replies, kissing your head and reaching for his shoes.

luca had moved into your house to be with you during your pregnancy. he couldn’t bare the idea of sleeping in his bed while you slept in yours. he’s been great helping out around the house and making sure you don’t have to go or drive anywhere on your own. making sure you and your baby were safe at all times. you grew more comfortable with him day by day.

you picked out a few pairs of jeans as well as a couple of dresses to try on. just to make sure you were getting something you’d actually wear.

“okay here’s the first pair.” you said before pulling open the curtain revealing the maternity jeans that closely resembled your favorite jeans.

“so?”

“you look beautiful.” luca says, a smile growing widely on his face as he observed your body.

“well we know this size fits so, i’ll show you the dress i picked out.” you giggle, walking back into the dressing room and shutting the curtain, quickly yanking the jeans off and pulling the dress over your head. you adjusted it and looked in the mirror. your bump was showing well in this dress. you turned to the side and frowned. it hit you all at once what was happening, tears welling up in your eyes.

“everything okay in there?” luca asks, standing outside the curtain.

“yeah, can you come in here?” you ask, wiping the tear, turning to face the curtain.

“oh wow.” he says tugging the curtain shut behind you as he looked at you before noting your expression.

“what’s wrong y/n? you look absolutely gorgeous.”

“i know but look.” you frown turning to the side running a hand over your small bump.

“what about it?”

“look at me luca. just look.” you frown a quiet sob leaving your mouth.

“don’t cry baby no.” he says pulling you to his chest.

“it’s just all hitting me so fast. my body is changing so fast.” you sniffle.

“i know i know, but you’re gonna be such a beautiful momma. baby fantilli slash y/l/n has the most beautiful mommy in the world. i know you may not feel the greatest but you’re so gorgeous y/n. you look so fucking perfect.” he says running his hands over your stomach and on your sides only making you cry more.

“shhhhh it’s okay.” he says hugging you tighter, cradling your head in his hand, grazing his thumb softly over your hair.

-

“so.”

“so?” you question mark as he enters your room and plops on your bed.

“i got you something, well it wasn’t all me, it was like ninety percent luca.” he says holding up target bags full of things.

“something? looks like more than that.” you giggle.

“yeah well, luca left early for family dinner so that he could go shopping for you and the baby. he wanted my help so, do you wanna see?”

“i mean i guess i don’t have much choice do i?” you laugh, grateful they’d thought of you while out together.

“okay so,” he starts before showing you everything him and luca had picked out for you and the baby. your heart melted more and more with the thoughtfulness of each object.

“thank you for everything mark.” you reply as he finished, hugging him tightly.

“luca has one more thing, but he’ll give it to you once he’s home.” mark smiles, putting everything back in the bags and setting them on the floor.

“oh? okay.” you reply as he exits your room with a goodbye. it shouldn’t be too much longer that luca would be gone. you hoped at least. you sat in your bed looking through the objects when luca came in the room.

“hi baby,” you smile as he walks over to kiss you sweetly.

“how was dinner with the family?” you continue.

“it was so good. they were asking me about how everything was going and they wanted me to give you this check from them. it’s for a thousand dollars. my brother and parents all chipped in.” he smiles, unfolding the check from his pocket and handing it to you.

“that’s so sweet of them.” you pout looking up at him and hugging on tightly.

“they wanted to make sure you’re taken care of. this money is for you. not the baby. for you.” he repeats and you nod.

“i also have something else for you.” he says quietly.

“go on?” you smile.

“close your eyes.” he says smiling and you do so, smile growing wider. you feel a ring slowly pushed onto your ring finger, you stomach dropping at the sensation.

“open.” he says quietly and you open your eyes to a delicate diamond ring. a simple design and a small diamond.

“luca what-“

“this is not a marriage proposal, you know i would go all out for that. this is just a promise ring.”

“it’s beautiful.” you say looking closer at it.

“i got it because i wanted to show you how truly serious i am about this. im so in love with you, and im in love with our future. you’re everything to me, our baby is everything to me, we are everything to me. and more.” he says, grabbing onto your hand, running a thumb over your knuckles.

“this almost feels like a dream and like it’s gonna be over soon.” you say shedding a tear.

“well it’s not a dream and it’s not too good to be true. i also got the ring so that no creepy guy would try to think you were some young single struggling mom. had to stake my claim properly.” he giggles.

“well thank you for thinking of me luca.”

“always.”

-

“i don’t wanna do any parties or anything.” you tell luca as you sat in the ultrasound room.

“no showers?”

“can we just mail out like an announcement and maybe we’ll get some gifts and stuff.” you ask.

“if that’s what you want, it’s entirely up to you.”

“i’m already stressed enough, that would probably make it worse.” you giggle.

“then we’ll do that.”

“okay my lovebirds, i have the gender right here. do you want me to save it? or do you want it now?” the doctor asks, entering the room.

“now, please.” you smile anxiously.

“i’ll hand it off to you.” she smiles at luca as she hands the paper off to him.

“it’s a……” he pauses scanning the paper before stopping, a smile growing across his cheeks.

“it’s a girl.” he says sweetly.

“really?” you exclaim.

“yes baby, it’s a girl.” he says showing you the paper. quickly you jump up off the bed, wrapping your arms tightly around him.

“luca fantilli, girl dad, has a nice ring to it.” you giggle pulling away.

“y/n fantilli, girl MOM, has a better ring to it in my opinion.” he giggles.

“come here.” you say to the doctor, squeezing her tight, thanking her for this special moment.

“i’m so glad you guys are happy. please come back and see me once she’s born.”

“absolutely we will.” you smile as she guides you back to the waiting room.

-

“god i’m only a few weeks away.” you grown, leaning on your hands over the counter in hopes of relieving the stress on your back.

“hey y/n, we gotta try this.” luca comes sliding around the corner, tossing his phone on the couch.

“try what?” you groan sitting up.

“okay turn your back to me.” he says and you do so.

“ready?” he asks.

“yes?” you question. moments later feeling all of the pressure leave your back.

“oh my god.” you breathe out as he holds your belly up.

“does that feel good?”

“yes fuck yes. i feel like i can breathe properly.” you giggle with borderline orgasmic pleasure lining your tone.

“unfortunately i cannot stand here forever but i will gladly do this whenever you need it.” he says gently lowering your belly.

“thank you baby, that felt amazing.” you say turning around and pressing a sweet kiss to his lips.

-

you laid restlessly in the hospital bed, luca lying awake on his phone in a chair just across the room. your water broke at home but you were nowhere near ready to give birth.

“i can’t sleep.” you groan.

“me either.” he replies, shutting off his phone.

“can you come lay with me?” you ask softly.

“yeah of course.” he says getting up off the chair and instantly finding his way to your side.

“i’m so scared lu.” you whisper.

“i know. it’s scary, but im here. your mom is here. mark will be here.”

“will you hold my hand when the time comes?” you ask, nuzzling yourself to his side as best as you could.

“of course baby. let’s try and get some sleep in you okay?” he says.

“okay.” you reply, shutting your eyes. after what seemed like hours of silence your consciousness dwindled.

“i’m so proud of you.” he whispers pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead. those words being the last you heard before you finally drifted off to sleep.

you woke up the next morning with jerk and a sharp pain.

“ouch.” you groan, seeing luca had already been awake and moved to the chair.

“oh gosh, are you contracting?”

“yeah, good morning to me.” you groan, squinting your eyes shut.

“do you want me to get your mom?” he asks and you simply nod, gritting your teeth. he calls your mom on his phone, her entering just moments later.

“how frequent?”

“well this was the first one so i don’t know.” you reply, the pressure subsiding.

“i’ll go grab a doctor and they can check you out. just hold tight honey.” she says, rushing back out the door.

“what if it happens like soon soon?” you ask luca nervously.

“we’ll all be by your side. i can’t sit here and say it’ll be easy because it’s definitely not, but i’ll hold your hand and make sure you’re doing okay. that’s my job.” he says, reassuring that you were not alone in this process.

“okay miss y/n. how are you feeling? i heard you had a contraction.” the nurse says entering the room.

“yeah, that’s what i woke up to.” you sigh.

“what a pleasant wake up call.” she giggles.

the nurse stayed in the room keeping tabs with your dialation. you grew more and more nervous at every update.

-

“come on baby, just one more.” luca says as you held a death grip on his hand, your knuckles turning white. you somehow mustered up the strength to give one last push, resulting in the sound of your precious baby girl crying, resulting in you sobbing instantly.

“you’re baby daddy?” the doctor asked luca and he nods, being beckoned over.

“well boyfriend and baby daddy but yes.” he giggles as a nurse pats him on the back.

“he’s cutting the cord y/n.” your mom says kissing the side of your head, brushing the hair off of your sweaty face. you brushed over the ring on your finger. it was unreal that this was your life now.

all you could do was cry. the wait was finally over.

“hi baby.” you frown sweetly as they handed you your daughter, luca finding his way back to your side immediately.

“she’s beautiful.” you sob out, sniffling.

“just like her momma.” luca replies, kissing your temple a few times, his hand rested on top of yours as you held her. admiring your beautiful creation, the one you were so afraid of those 9 months ago.

“i like lilly.” you say to luca quietly.

“lilly fantilli. i love it.” he smiles.

after some hours, the nurses trickled out and the room became quiet again. you’d been holding her for hours, never wanting to let go. not until it was just you, her and luca.

“hey momma, before you leave can you do something for me?” you smile.

“yes of course sweetie.” she replies as she walks over, whispering in her ear. you handed the baby off to your mom, who carried her over to luca.

“now i know im your mother-in-law so this is gonna sound weird. but i need you to take off your shirt.” she says in her humor that you always adored. you wanted to cry as his face lit up. he slid his shirt off quickly and got comfortable before your mother carefully handed her off to him, resting her softly on his chest.

“oh my god.” he stuttered out, a tear falling down his cheek, followed by a sniffle.

“lu don’t cry honey.” you said softly, carefully getting out of bed finding your way to his side. luckily since you were young, recovery wasn’t so hard.

“i can’t help it, look at what we did. she’s perfect.” he continued, quiet sobs leaving his mouth. in all the time you’d been together, you’d never seen him like this. so vulnerable and sweet.

“awe baby.” you said, lightly scratching his scalp.

“i love you my sweet lilly girl, i’ll never let anyone hurt you and i’ll always be here for you. daddy loves you so much.” he cried quietly to her on his chest, bringing you nearly to tears.

“i can’t believe this is our life now.” you say in his ear pressing a kiss to his shoulder.

“i would never change it, not for anything in the world.” he replies finally looking at you. his eyes puffy with tears.

“i love you luca, so so much.”

“i love you more, zero argument.” he smiles, you roll your eyes playfully pressing a kiss to his lips, closing the last chapter of your youth.

this was your life now. mother of lilly mars (mark wasn’t a good middle name for a girl) fantilli, and obviously future wife of luca. it was the best gift the universe could’ve ever blessed you with.

[cantdanceflynn]

Riddle School Secret Exchange

From @riddletransfers exchange, a gift of writing for @itissadbutitsmy-life! Im sry, I was gonna have art to go along with it and i dont think its rly up to my standards life just kicks u in the ass yk? (warning for mentions of panic attacks, trauma, and implied canon complient police brutality(I based it off of my shit school so i hope this isn't like, pushing too far))

It always came back to school, didn't it. If Phil had the option, he would have asked his parents to be homeschooled the day after Quiz died.

But no one else could've either, and somehow, he didn't think it'd help to still have those memories and be isolated from his friends to boot.

Days like these though... Slumping over a desk hoping he could remember anything made him wonder if it would've been better. At least he could've used the same resources as the teachers.

He didn't know anyone in this class, so chances of him borrowing notes was admittedly slim. The class itself, chemistry, wasn't hard in and of itself. Mostly he just copied people's answers to labs and tried to remember enough for the tests. But the teacher requiring constant notes was a pain in the ass, to say the least.

But even if chemistry sucked, and did it ever, Phil could appreciate it for one thing. He could spend this whole class excited for the next one, every day, for forever.

Not that he was particularly excited to do math worksheets for an hour and a half, no. He was excited because it was the only class he had with all of his friends this year.

And to top it all off, the teacher didn't seem to give a shit about what happened as long as the work got done. The only thing they'd ever been told not to do was roast marshmallows over Zach's head, and that was because they set off the fire alarm. She probably wouldn't even notice if they did it again.

Thick as thieves was putting it lightly, and it was probably the only reason Phil understood why teachers assigned group projects themselves instead of letting people chat all class. So maybe chemistry felt like forever, but right afterwards he could chill with his friends and talk about their days and help each other out.

That last one happened more often than not lately. For some inane reason, their school had an extra cop assigned to it. Because kids needed to watch out for more dangerous people, obviously.

It probably wouldn't even have made them worry so much if the bastard didn't decide to wear shades and pretend he was an FBI agent or whatever he wanted to be. They'd seen the real deal and this wasn't it, but it looked close enough to freak them out.

Phred was actually the first one to break last week, hyperventilating into his hands before Smiley ran out to get a paper bag. Phil still didn't know all that had happened, but the cop presumably decided the kid was suspicious for being nervous around him, as if anyone didn't understand why.

A bunch of stutters and sobs and rants later, there were four submitted worksheets, two with Smiley's handwriting, and they had implicit permission to walk Phred down to the councilors office. They stayed there for the rest of the day, helping him work through memories anybody who wasn't present wouldn't believe if their life depended on it.

This kind of thing wasn't uncommon, even before more and more triggers started popping up. Phil still didn't know if triggers was the right word for it, but the probability of finding a therapist that believed any of them was slim to none, so he figured it didn't really matter.

Sure, he could dwell on everything that had happened all he wanted. Wonder what the hell had happened on the government side of things, if they were spared or if they just didn't bother tracking them down, or if something else happened. Either way it would be his fault.

Really, it was all his fault. It overwhelmed him sometimes, with the constant reminder that every panic attack and flinch was his fault. Like the story he didn't really read for English or whatever, with the heart the lady could always hear or feel beating.

But his guilt dragged theirs down, much as the pressure of the tiled hallways. Maybe he should be a poet. He'd have plenty of out there material, that's for sure.

Class bell autopilot must've kicked in, because Phil didn't even realize he was sitting in his usual seat until Phred tapped him on the shoulder.

"Yup, we're dealing with a zombie here," he announced in a deadpan voice. "Someone take him to the nurse and let's see if cough drops can bring back the dead."

"Hey!" Smiley punched Phred's shoulder, but she was grinning and so was Zach. Phil loved to "admit" it, their smiles were infectious.

"Eh, there we go." Zach flicked his face and raised an eyebrow in humor when Phil flinched. The humor was quickly replaced by sputtered indignancies as Phil covered his face with a hand.

"That's what you ge-!" Phil's retort was stopped by Zach licking his hand, giggling as Phil shook said hand desperately. "Grosssss....."

Smiley laughed. "Hey, you spoke! Took long enough." Her light hearted teasing was only punctuated by how she was practically plowing through her worksheets. She got given them all at once at this point, her boundless enthusiasm adding to the notes the teachers inevitably had for her.

Like all of them, she was far from a joy to have in class. Constantly correcting the teacher came at a cost, as it turned out. But unlike the rest of them, she could at least do her work nigh perfectly.

"Still can't convince you to do my work?" Phil jokingly questioned.

"Nope! Gotta earn it, silly!" She hummed back as she worked, scribbling down a correction on the teacher's formatting with a disapproving click of her tongue.

Phred rolled his eyes, but he actually started before the rest of them. So much for ambitionless, Phil supposed. He wasn't heading for top of the class or anything, but he had motivation now. Weird as it felt to him, him of all people, there was a twinge of pride in Phil's chest.

He stuck his tongue back out Zach before starting his work. Zach huffed and started too. As the sound of pencils scribbling filled their corner, one thought filled Phil's head.

He was so, so lucky to be in a real, oppressing as it might be, school, with them all, this time.

sry again if this isn't very goodddd

[sevlawless]

okay so the n route has been bothering me ever since i played it and i needed to air my frustrations out as a way to cope i suppose

for reference my main detective who i use for n is felicity, but sometimes i also use arabella to test out some options i wouldn't normally pick and just to see how the romance works with a detective that isn't exactly that compatible with n. so when i first played, i used felicity and then later on when i was doing a deep dive into the romance and the plot, i was using arabella just to see if certain things held up yk! and lord how i wish it did LMFAO

just a little disclaimer that this is all just my opinion and i'm willing to listen to other points of view about this! and i do not mean any of what i say as a dig or to be hateful toward n, they are my favorite li in twc and the fact that i love their romance and their character so much is probably most if not all of the reason why their route in book 3 was so weird to me, and why i make the critiques that i do.

under the cut because this is a doozy and also book 3 spoilers

first of all the main thing in the demo chapters is that n gets mad if you try and fight the trappers bc they are so scared of losing you and like i GUESS i get it but this is literally our life now you're just gonna have to get used to it. and this wouldn't have even been an big issue for me if it was properly addressed! when i played using arabella i tried being mad, i tried staying mad, and it kept getting swept under the rug by the plot. like are we seriously not going to talk about this??? at all?????? and it seems very ooc for n NOT to say anything about it when you get a moment alone because why would they not address it, ESPECIALLY if your mc was still upset over it. AND ESPECIALLY IF YOU’RE IN A RELATIONSHIP LIKE- these things need to be discussed in order to grow as a couple and there needs to be healthy communication or else this is not going to work. like you're telling me we were living with unit bravo for WEEKS and this shit just never got brought up again?

this also ties into my next gripe- n's backstory. so, if you snooped in the demo they won't tell you anything, which okay. mc shouldn't have done that, sure, but n doesn't even give a reason as to why they're upset by that. obviously you can be like "well i think anyone would be upset if you delved into their past without their knowledge or permission" but YOU ARE IN A RELATIONSHIP WITH THIS PERSON WHY IS THERE NO COMMUNICATION OF FEELINGS. i would have appreciated that scene a hell of a lot more if n sat you down and was like "i'm upset that you did this, here's why," but all they do is get sad and then that's it. when i played as arabella i had her snoop AND get upset over the argument during the trapper fight, and n said something along the lines of "i know sometimes we regret doing things" as a reference to snooping AND the argument which??? just does NOT hold up at all and had me irritated as hell.

if you didn't snoop in the demo, n takes you to their room and shows you a picture of their family and talks about them and how his brother joined the navy and didn't come back (their brother was killed by vampires) and that's why they decided to join the navy, as a way to try and figure out what actually happened. this scene started off great, but it's cut short way too quickly because n drops the photo and the frame breaks. and then they basically just shoo you out. there's really not any option to comfort them, and the option that is there is not good enough. and it's not that n had to tell us EVERYTHING in that one scene, but it's more so the fact that it NEVER gets brought up again. your mc can't take a moment to bring it up and n sure as hell doesn't say anything else about it. which is so ?????? im sorry you supposedly love this person (im saying this for both mc and n) and yet neither of you address it again??? it makes no sense at all.

onto the research/combat scene… i've done the combat scene once so i can't really speak on that as much as the research one so. most of the research scene is fine aside from the fact if you're not in a relationship (which i did for one playthrough with felicity) n brings up bobby if you dated them which felt so bizarre but anyways. the option to realize you love n… i would love this IF the option where you tell n you love them actually mattered. LMFAO if you tell n you love them they literally just stare at you and then the sex scene pops up. like are you kidding me??? n would not just leave you hanging like that even if it was just to say that they don't feel that way yet. and the sex scene itself is… fine i suppose but it doesn't feel as intimate as it should be. there's little to no dialogue and it just feels so weird to read. like why would neither of you be saying anything?? not to mention the fact that you're literally OUTSIDE of the warehouse where any of ub could see you at any point it just feels wrong to have sex at that point at least in my opinion. and the talk after feels so short and weird i feel like both the detective and n would have more to say. and that moment is quickly brushed away by the plot.

i guess the next plot line is whether u told tina or verda or nobody about the supernatural. going into book 3 this was probably what i looked forward to the most and ofc it barely delivered. i liked seeing tina and n interact but that quickly turned sour for me, not because tina started rightfully bringing up how much mc has been through, but because n really does not do anything with that pov being voiced to them, which is so fucking ooc it pains me. when they go to talk to mc after their conversation there's no discussion just "i wanted to see you" okay but WHY did you? i would have taken a li pov of what tina relayed to them literally anything! and it's just another thing that gets swept under the rug because of the stupid ass plot.

another thing about the dinner that gets lost in the plot of book 3: tina/verda bringing up your li possibly drinking your blood and mc can react a number of different ways and i wish it had been talked about more than just in that moment 😭

the only scene that i genuinely enjoyed in all of n's route was after that building caves in on mc and you're back at the warehouse traumatized and bruised and defeated. n runs you a bath and if you pick that option helps you out of your clothes and then helps you settle into bed. i wish there had been more discussion of anything in that scene but mc was so out of it i was okay with no talking. and then redacted petname <3 the other thing i was most looking forward to! one thing i did dislike about this scene though was that we didn't really get a glimpse on how n was feeling yk usually mishka offers the li's pov on a scene and not having that made that moment not feel as rounded out.

the pool scene… first of all why did n get this one. like it would have made sense for m, hell even a! and again the scene felt so shallow and then the option to have sex. you're telling me your first time with n can be on a fucking pool table???? that is so not their vibe AT ALL and it feels so weird to even have that there. it was unnecessary as well as the other opportunity to have sex and i feel like mishka just put them in there as like fan service when who (in my opinion) genuinely wants this if they romance n and have them as their main route. i had hoped the first time n and mc have the opportunity to have sex it would be a more intimate setting because that's more fitting for them and my nate mc, felicity. but nope! and then the scene gets cut short because n has to go on patrol??? and again the sex scene itself … neither of them feel personable it's like a "one size fits all" type of approach and that just does not work if this is supposed to be interactive fiction where we create a personality for our mc's that cannot fit this specific mold mishka wants to put everyone in.

being invited to what might as well just be a fucking slave trade (i have many thoughts about this auction plotline as well but for now im discussing n's route) had me so confused because why would mishka even do that and then n's comment about the stationary? i need you to be fucking for real. the scene before you leave for the mission with n just felt so weird like we get it n is protective of mc but at this point it just felt like a hinderance which sucks because one of the things i love most about n is their deep care for mc and they just sounded like a broken record and it annoyed me so bad.

after all that, the scene when you come back and n is in tears confessing their love for mc i wanted to enjoy it i really did and i just could not upon replaying because it feels so unbelievably hollow. we have not discussed anything pertaining our relationship and when there are things that need to be discussed they are so underwhelming it's hard to even care. there are a handful of things n and mc both need to work on in order for this relationship to work and the fact that they're not being addressed makes it difficult for me to enjoy anything about this route. you can't even tell n you love them back for fuck's sake like hello.

a theme that i did not think was going to be as prominent as it was in this book but n contemplating mc turning into a vampire and AGAIN there wasn't ever really a discussion about this between mc and n and i feel like this will come to a head as the books progress but i don't think it fit into book 3 considering so many other things were being thrown at us.

all in all i truly desperately wanted to enjoy book 3 and enjoy being with n but i cannot when there are so many things ignored, sidelined, or just completely forgotten in order to push the plot forward.

[poly-lights]

PART 2 TO MY II PREDICTIONS/WISHES/QUESTIONS (technically) SINCE YALL ACTUALLY KINDA LIKED THOSE?? and i have more!

please note btw that most, if not all, of this is not gonna happen bc they can't pack EVERYTHING into a 30 minute or so episode and not gonna lie some of these are my fixation talking and me being delusional. it's good to theorize though!!

lots of bias. let's get into it

i told my gf this BUT it'd be cool if there was a scene of trees changing, to represent seasons passing because it has to have been a year at most right

more lightbulb using her electrokinesis scenes plspls?????? like. she can just casually DO THAT....maybe have her use it for evil/J IM KIDDING. don't have her kill anyone

............................yet

another knife and suitcase scene, elaborating on the "making your presence known", how suitcase took it a different way, just a conversation if that makes sense

yknow. what was that roboarm in the gemory cave. and is it Still working after lightbulb powered it on.

unrelated but still.more so a question have we or will we ever get the full roommate list drop?? unless they're gonna wait for when s2 is done to not spoil anything

baseball and lightbulb friendship scene :] team captain style!

i think it's gonna release on OR near the anniversary, if the iii finale is so soon early into 2024 it gives slight time

can we get parent lore drop??? like hello?????? they cant just said what they said in iii ep 14 and never expand on it, so i have a heavy feeling its gonna get mentioned in s2 if not ep 15 specifically

im just hoping for lb centric, even if her lore doesn't match up well with the slams. pls im so autism abt her at this point its anything BUT funny

now here's some iii 18 predictions!! for fun :] and also me just rambling abt it (spoilers for iii 17!!!!)

those who left to the hotel come back for jury voting!! more importantly fan and pb please💥

bot and springy and gonna be near each other again next episode. springy may still try to pull some shit with bot, and, assuming so, if TEST TUBE IS BY BOT'S SIDE......

springy made that suitcase bot, so clearly he knows about season 2

we may just get ii 14 tt again. which i am HOPING for. idk i love seeing test tube ENRAGED for the people she cares about she's so fun and unique bc MAN that girl is angry. she's holding grudges against Two People

also. fan meeting bot? he is going to have such a big and hopefully impactful reaction!! pls he has his patterns and the sudden changes make him uncomfortable they need to mention this

if he knows about season 2......could he make, or has he made, toys of the other final four? again im just gripping at straws for an iis2 final four appearance

think abt it though. it's the iii finale. you think they won't do something big? considering mephone knows he has to go back? springy could easily torment him w that considering the whole "facing your past" theming

also walkie talkie is Totally associated with meeple. ik we've all figured that out but i just had to say something. very heavily focused on using electronics to better the future? implying robots taking over others positions?

also??? past contestants coming back SEEING the toys?? maybe. Maybe.

the entire episode could also just be a discussion and play on the ethics of ai and how it's affecting the writing industry by putting people out of jobs due to its advancement and im reading way too much into it but hey im putting my hard hat on and channeling my inner matpat for this stupid show about objects with limbs (/pos btw)

also. are they gonna leave floor behind??? or will they scoop him into a terrarium, then plant him into inanimate island?

can he teleport that far?? how far is paradise?????????? ae drop the map pls/silly

ALSO ALSO. WHAT ARE THE INANI-MATES?? IS N/A THE LAST OF THEIR KIND??????? i doubt it but STILL everyone else in that group died

hey. why is the background of the recap song the background used when the gemories formed the silhouette of cobs. hey now.

[bropunzeling]

director's cut of your choice of scenes from the elopement timestamp :)))))

hello from the airport :)))) here is matthew and brady's conversation aka a secret fave scene of mine:

"Dude, you're so wound up," Brady says as they go through a bucket of pucks at Centene. The ring of the posts and their muffled curses fill the rafters. "Are you stressed about something? What is there to even stress about?" [this scene had two goals. one was more sibling/ratfam content (since its very lacking from the original works for obvious reasons) and the other was to get to the point at the end of the conversation. i decided that brady needed to be the guy because (1) i like writing him (2) matthew would actually open up to him and (3) because he's already been married for a couple years/is gonna be a dad/etc etc it adds this nice, your sibling is further along than you (helpful, rather than anxiety provoking)]

Matthew’s shot goes off the post and rolls away. He curses. "Nothing."

"Uh-huh." Instead of grabbing a new puck, Brady leans on his stick. "Try me." [matthew has not acted like this since the summer of 2022 and brady is not stupid]

Matthew takes another shot, straightens up. Brady’s still looking at him, flat and even. God, he’s not gonna move, is he. 

Giving up, Matthew checks the rink—safe, Leon went off to hit the bike five minutes ago and no one else is around [one of my editing points was reminding myself of the secrecy! like obvs they are not as horribly repressed and not telling anyone anything as they were in meet me halfway, but like, leon's reputation matters to both of them and neither want to test and see what would happen if it came out that they were dating. theyre admittedly sloppy, but it’s still a thing they think about]—and then says, in a low voice, "I asked Leon if she'd ever want to, uh. To marry me."

Brady sucks in a breath. "You proposed?"

Matthew shakes his head vigorously. "No. No. [i mean, you kinda did.] I didn't mean now, I meant in the future. Someday. You know."

"Sounds like you proposed,” Brady says, much too loudly. The whole building might have heard him.

"I didn't," Matthew insists. "All I wanted was for her to think about it, you know? I wasn't going to—to spring anything on her." [me on my relationship soapbox like SURPRISE PROPOSALS ARE SHITTY AND YOU SHOULD ALWAYS TALK ABOUT IT FIRST] He clutches at his stick. "Just—I wanted her to know that I was serious, and see if she'd also want that, and now it's been like four days, and she hasn't said anything, and I kind of think I fucked something up. Fuck, maybe I shouldn't have said anything at all. What if I scared her off?"

"Dude. Breathe." Brady's infuriatingly calm. [the contrast between brady's general inflappability and matthew's anxiety is always funny to me.] Matthew glares at him. "I doubt you fucked anything up."

"You don't know that.”

Brady shrugs. "Okay, no, I don't know for sure, but like—you can't really think you scared her off."

"It's happened before," Matthew mumbles. [obvi like -- they are pretty good and over the events of The Battle of Alberta, Playoffs Edition; it's been years. however, that won't stop matthew from being anxious! last time he thought they were on the verge of a relationship upgrade leon ghosted him! he doesnt want that to happen again] He doesn't want to stand here while Brady looks at him with that calm, know-it-all expression. Maybe he'll go collect some pucks. He heads towards the goal.

Skates scrape behind him. "Matt." When Matthew looks over his shoulder, Brady’s trailing behind him with the bucket. "She’s stupid in love with you." [one of the fun things about this time stamp, along with everything, was finally getting to let this version of leon be stupid and romantic and overcome by her own feelings. she's soooooo gone.] At Matthew’s glare, Brady rolls his eyes. "I was there when she showed up last summer, remember? I think I'd know." [another fun thing was dropping bits of Lore that im not sure will ever become a proper cleaned up ao3 time stamp, and this was a big one i wanted to hit!!!]

Matthew bends down and grabs a few pucks out of the crease. He hadn't actually been awake when Leon had shown up in Florida last summer; he hadn't been expecting her. They had agreed, after the Oilers got knocked out, that she'd wait to come out until after the playoffs were over. She had to close up her house; debrief the season with Connor. And—they'd fought about it, over the phone, more yelling than there had been in a long time, but Leon had asked how he'd feel if he was there watching from the sidelines while she won the Cup without him. If he'd really be all that happy for her. [it was important to me to hit this because obvi we see the opposite in meet me halfway - matthew checking in and gone even when leon beat his team - but crucially they never did get to this point, and im not sure matthew ever thought through what it would look like if leon HAD made it that far. mr hiding in the garage when the cup was at his house probably wouldn't have handled it well! and like - even if they are in love and in a relationship, they are still the same fundamental people who are competitive and desperate to win and hate to see other people get what they want. so of course they fought.] [obvi my solution to this tension is in 5 or so years they play on the same team, win cup, put baby in cup.]

She'd apologized the next day, but she'd made her point, too. When she booked her flights for late June, he hadn't argued.

Then his sternum got cracked. Mom and Dad had to drive him home from the rink and help him out of his own clothes. And when he woke up after a miserable night, it was to find Leon asleep sitting up on the bed next to him, holding his hand like it was a lifeline. It wasn't until later that he'd gotten the details out of Mom—how Leon had shown up at two in the morning, exhausted and incoherent and making a beeline right for his bedroom. How she wouldn't leave, even when Mom tried to insist she go find an actual bed and get some sleep. [(a) she was doing so bad. (b) this is absolutely the tipping point for matthew's people to be like oh shit this is a big deal thing, as you can see with the below]

Matthew had spent the next few days thinking mostly about how much his chest hurt and how badly the team was playing, but he also noticed the way Brady and Leon had quietly teamed up—to get him out of bed, to get him dressed, to get him to the arena. [there is a whole unrealized scene in my head of them watching matthew suffer during game 4 on the couch and both are like, quietly so fucking stressed out for him, and it’s this little moment of quiet bonding and acceptance where its like you love him, i love him, we both wish he wasn't on the ice right now] Once he got past the self-pity, he’d found it pretty funny. However Brady had felt about Leon before—and Matthew was pretty sure that feeling wasn't acceptance, no matter how much Brady tried to hide it [brady really did not like leon after the Events of rob thomas' party. as soon as he connected the dots that girl matthew has been moping over for months = leon draisaitl, leon was fully on his shit list. he definitely headhunted her that whole next season]—apparently Matthew breaking himself could smooth over almost anything.

"Listen," Brady says now, leaning against the net and holding out the bucket for Matthew to dump pucks into. "Do I think she was a dick when she ghosted you? Yeah. But she's fucking crazy about you now. You can't miss it."

Matthew drops a handful of pucks into the bucket with a clunk, then heads for the boards. "Okay, but like—she hasn't said anything," he says. "What if she doesn't want to?"

"What? Get married?"

Matthew nods. [crux of the scene!】

Brady skids to a stop by the boards. "I don't know, man. I mean, maybe she doesn't because she thinks it's too soon. Or maybe it's not that big a deal to her. Half the guys from Europe do the whole, you know. The partner thing." [matthew: spiraling. brady: repository of reasonable takes] He shrugs. "I guess the question is, if she wants to be with you, but doesn't want to marry you, are you gonna be okay with that?" [and here we go! so like, a Big Theme of meet me halfway/the girl!leon cinematic universe (gcu) is like, dealing with expectations and hangup and how you pictured your life going vs how it's actually going vs how you actually want it to go. and obviously for most of it this is leon's journey - reconciling hockey and a personal life, understanding that she doesn't have to shut out friends or family or the potential for partnership in order to have a career, that it won't make her lesser or softer, that it’s okay to be soft in the first place.

but. BUT. it's very important to me that matthew is ALSO going through this reexamination of his own expectations. his picture of life was not so subtly based on his parents and structured in a very particular way. and falling for another hockey player who wouldn't be staying home, who would push and challenge him and be her own independent person, naturally upends some of those comfortable images he had of his future. and this is just one more instance of him needing to look at what he imagined for himself and changing the picture to fit not what he thought he would get, but what will actually work for him and leon, what they actually want together. and here and in the next scene is when it hits that its not about the trappings but about the knowing. he doesn't want leon to push him away, he wants to know that theyre going to be doing this together, but that doesn't mean they have to do things the way everyone else does, either.]

Matthew chews the inside of his cheek. Would he be? It's hard to know. For so long, he's had that little picture of what his future looked like. Even as it changed, that part—being married, that sense of permanency—it’s always been there. He doesn't know how he'd feel if it were gone. [again the permanency is the thing. obviously i am like, in the middle of my own feelings about all this, but really it is like: you're here with me, im with you. even when we're annoying or stressed out or tired or miserable or caught covid on our romantic vacation when you were gonna propose. you're with me and i'm with you and it's gonna be for the long haul.]

"Just something to think about," Brady says after a moment. He claps Matthew on the shoulder. "But for what it's worth, I think she's pretty fucking serious about you."

Matthew hip checks him back. Brady doesn't move, the fucker. "When did you get so smart, asshole?"

Brady laughs. "Who says I haven't always been this smart?"

"You were a fucking idiot when you were thirteen," Matthew retorts.

Brady shoves him into the boards, the bucket of pucks clattering to the ice. "You really gonna bring up teen shit? Because I remember—" [brothers!]

Things go a little haywire after that, first chasing each other and then all the loose pucks scattered across the rink. By the time they've collected everything, they're both laughing hard enough that they can't catch a breath.

"Hey," someone shouts. Leon's leaning on the boards, wet hair sticking to her head and the nape of her neck. "Are we gonna go soon? I'm starving." [relatable]

"Yeah," Matthew calls back, making his way towards her. "We're done, I think."

When he makes it over the boards, Leon’s already reaching out, one hand fisting in his jacket. She yanks him closer, kissing him, then pulls back and says, "Go shower. You stink." [they would be so much better at keeping their secret relationship secret if they didn't want to make out and or fuck whenever they're within five feet of each other. alas]

"Uh-huh," Matthew says, ducking back in to kiss her again, just to see if her nose will wrinkle. It does. [gross!!!! and!!! in love!!!]

"Shower," Leon repeats, slapping his chest and shoving him towards the door. "Hey, Brady. You coming to lunch?"

Matthew misses whatever Brady says to her, but he doesn't miss when Brady comes into the locker room and snaps a towel at him. "Told you," Brady says in a low voice. Almost subtle, for him. "Crazy about you." [rip to brady, who has to witness god's most embarrassing pda every day of his summer and then deal with his older brother thinking that his girlfriend doesn't love him]

Matthew busies himself with his towel. His cheeks are warm.

[sick-ada]

CICADA AGENTS MASTERPOST

bc i keep forgetting that i havent actually put much abt my agents on my tumblr and i need to expose the max number of people to my blorbos as i can

going under the readmore cause this is gonna get longg

(this has been in my drafts for over a month)

CB-808 (agent 8, she/her) and Bubbles (agent 8 AGAIN, a SECOND TIME, CAN YOU TELL EIGHT IS MY FAV, he/him)

they're "twins", meaning they both woke up without any memories, saw that they were the only two nearby who looked similar (being the only non-sanitized octolings in the metro) and assumed that meant they were twins

they do all of the tests in octo expansion as a duo! this makes some tests easier (like girl power station) and others much harder (like the one with the dualie squelchers and the grindrails, since they have to share the weapon between them)

this kinda fucks with the computer systems and all their mem cakes are blended (lmao) together. they have to work together to figure out whose memories are whose, to varying success levels

very very very codependent. theyll get anxious if you take the other to another room where they cant see each other. proto (cap3) convinced them to do one test separately and CB got so worked up she punched the side of the carriage and permanently dented it

they didnt try a second time

ON THE TOPIC OF CB DENTING THE METAL: shes freakishly strong, in an artificially-modified way rather than a very-strong-but-normal way

after the splatoon 1 campaign, elite soldiers deserted en masse since nearly all of them were at the concert/final-battle, leaving a gaping hole in the octarian military. in an attempt to fill that gap as quickly as possible, volunteers were "purposed" to become enhanced super-soldiers

(ill probably make a dedicated post abt it when i remember but "purposing" is what they do to make octarians (the stubby tentacle guys) into all the different forms you see in-game. debateably ethical to begin with, SUPER unethical to do to actual octolings)

im bad at timelining but she signs up to this when she's like,,, 13. still kinda blobby

functionally, what it did to her was make her freakishly strong (she breaks the handles on doors ridiculously often) and about 50% more resistance to enemy ink. girls a tank. however, she has trouble regulating her strength and therefore cant superjump accurately since she overshoots her target every time

it's also super painful. she permanently lost her voice from screaming too much and cant speak any louder than a whisper, but she knows octarian and inklish sign languages so she gets along fine

her name is CB-808 bc that was the serial number printed on a livestock tag in her ear

BUBBLES ON THE OTHER HAND. not physically fucked up. mentally though................

his parents were some of the elites who deserted after hearing the Inkantation (in my headcanons it's something that can be resisted, but only temporarily). he wanted their approval more than anything so them leaving him was devastating

hes not actually a dude he just think he/him is a cool set of pronouns. heard someone say "him" once and absorbed it into his gender

he lied abt his age to become a scout/reconnaisance (how you spell that??), even if nobody was really gonna check given the situation after splat1

where CB is built like a tank, he's tall and lanky, and also scarily smart. combined with his lack of filter he'll literally just stare at you for 5 seconds before saying some shit like "oh i see. youre scared of us because of our competence and your perception of our alleigances compared to urs"

captain 3 is scared by him more than CB. as they should be.

his name is Bubbles because he has circular markings on his upper arms and CB is not very good at coming up with names (shes an amnesiac teenager give her a break)

theyre both 15 during octo expansion, and 20 by splatoon3

after reaching the surface they move in with flora (4) and his roommate bola (oc) to form the Leftovers Squad, an inksports team and maybe-gang

these two are wonderfully terrible influences and teach the two of them how to defy authority n shit, it's great, ill talk abt it more in their specific sections

CB mains the dynamo but plays it like a splat roller because she's so strong she can swing it with about that speed. Bubbles mains the e-liter and has nutty aim. the kind of duo that makes people realize theyre ex-soldiers

both of them are too obedient to authority, leftover habits from the military even if they don't fully remember their time there. CB is much worse in this regard, since she was more heavily conditioned to follow orders and Bubbles is observant enough to realize when theyre being taken advantage of

FLORA (agent 4, he/she used interchangeably)

part of the Leftovers Squad! a young punk squid that revels in rebellion and violence and showing people what's what

almost entirely deaf. he had pretty bad hearing to begin with, but loud raves without ear protection worsened it significantly. his hero headset functions as hearing aids but he doesnt usually wear them unless he's on NSS missions or patrols or w/e

came to inkopolis when she was 14, but it wasnt intentional. her parents were the kind of awful perfectionists that expected their children to be equally as perfect, so decided to leave flora in inkopolis bc she did awful in school

he was taken under Bola's fin (get it it's a fish pun theyre fish im hilarious) and became enamoured with the adrenaline-fueled, bloody-mouthed rush of fighting, in and out of inksports

the best way i can describe her is "violent for the sake of violence and gleeful about it". she starts a fight with someone twice her size just for the fun of attacking and taking a beating. probably something wrong with her. i love her with every fibre of my being

has absolutely zero respect or trust in authority -- especially adults, which includes Marie since she's 19 in splat2 and he's only 16

still goes along with her whole "hey go save the zapfish" spiel because A) she cant actually hear what marie is saying B) marie gave her some free fancy hearing aids so she GUESSES she has to return the favour somehow C) she wants to fight some octarian soldiers D) she wants to steal her own zapfish (she succeeds, it gets a tank in Leftover Squad's living room) and E) she thinks itll be REALLY funny to fuck with marie

shes right btw. its hilarious

she only follows orders when it's funnier than disobeying them. she puts zapfishes back in levels she wants to complete a second time. she teaches octolings how to play poker (and how to cheat at poker). she lets a squee-g splat her "to see what it feels like"

if callie wasn't missing marie would NOT put up with his bullshit, but alas.

respects agent 3 even less than marie, when they meet, since at least marie has a sense of humour

he's the one who suggests that CB and Bubbles move in with him and Bola after Octo Expansion. less out of his own goodwill and more out of a combination of morbid curiousity and a sense of "bola has a habit of taking weird inkfish under their fin, walking in with two soldiers will be really funny"

gets hypnoshaded 5 years post-splat2 (during the splat3 campaign) and has to be rescued by the leftover Leftovers (lmao) and Off the Hook. octavio doesnt really convince her to put them on, theres no realistic way he could do that, so he physically overpowers her and puts the shades on

he gets rescued tho! so it's all good and absolutely no interpersonal issues come from it i swear (lying)

Bola (they/them, not an agent)

another member of Leftovers Squad and, arguably, its leader

is about as comfortable with violence as flora (read: very comfortable) but, unlike him, doesn't enjoy it for its own sake. when they do a violence, it's for a specific aim and a purpose, even if that purpose seems inane or petty

theyre the leader of the leftovers mostly because theyre the only one with a goal or any sort of purpose. also because theyre by far the most charismatic of the bunch but mostly bc theyre the only one with any direction in life. the other three are happy to just help with that

(calling it a purpose is doing it too much justice, it's a grudge. a massive fucking grudge against Squidforce as a brand and an institution and a company. they want that thing obliterated)

when they first came to inkopolis (they were like 12), they werent a citizen of inkadia so they had no ID and weren't allowed to do official Squidforce battles, so they went to unofficial/illegal/unregulated turf wars to make some cash

this got shut down by squidforce

they decided "no. fuck this. fuck you, im gonna fuck every single one of you over, die." and swore vengeance about as dramatically as a then-13 year old could. luckily, bola was a very dramatic, kinda blobby 13 year old

they met flora when he came to inkopolis and introduced him to the concept of You Can Just Fight These People If You Don't Like Them

would have agreed to housing CB and Bubbles if Flora had just asked but this is fine they guess

theyll be the last to admit they have a compassionate streak, but they have a soft spot for the underbelly of inkopolis and everyone who lives there, most of which are underrepresented or downtrodden by the system that squidforce upholds

theyre an octoling but not an octarian (citizen of octaria, the nation that lost the great turf war and now lives in the domes) like CB and Bubbles are

instead, theyre a weird subspecies of octoling that went back in the water while the "normal" species of inkfish stayed on the surface. they still have most of the same features as an inkfish, like the shapeshifting, but have more aquatic adaptations like gills and razor sharp teeth and being able to swim in water unharmed (ik inkfish dying in water is only dubiously canon but for my headcanons normal inkfish dissolve like ingame if they fall into water)

they also have sepiism! better described in this post this means their ink/tentacle colours are limited to blacks and browns. their subspecies is more prone to this colour mutation than other inkfish since black is a pretty good camoflague colour if youre in the deep ocean. idk i wanted an excuse to make them look cool dont think abt it too hard

they absolutely despise proto (captain 3). aint no world where theyd trust the militaristic authority figure that orders around the two ex-soldiers theyre trying to teach how to be independent

not to mention the grudge they form against the captain after the hypnoshading incident that i will elaborate on i PROMISE its in the next section

aFTER I TALK ABOUT THE LEFTOVERS SQUAD AS A WHOLE. IF I CANT ESCAPE THEM NEITHER CAN YOU

when they meet, post octo expansion, the twins are 15 and the punks are 16, so theyre 20 and 21 respectively by the time splat3 rolls around

flora gets squidnapped just after splat3 campaign (which lasts like a day for reasons that will be evident once i get to neo 3 and "little" buddy), so proto and the squid sisters are in alterna monitoring the situation and doing cleanup while it happens. this will be relevant later. foreshadowing is a technique where--

a couple months after the twins move in, CB discovers inksports and makes the biggest saddest puppy dog eyes at the rest of the squad until they agree to making a league team together. it's also called the leftovers

CB and Flora love it because they enjoy physically fighting people (CB likes that she doesnt have to be permanently hurting people during it, Flora would like it better if there was a lil permanent injury tbh). Bubbles enjoys it because his sister enjoys it and also because he enjoys using his big brain to do sick predicts and snipe people from across the map where he's nice and safe. Bola only joins at first because telling the ex-soldier, who theyve been trying to convince that you dont need peoples permission to do things, "no" would be counterproductive. they hate every moment they have to fight in a squidforce battle. but then once the team gets well-known they realise that squidforce cant get rid of them anymore and uses their platform to absolutely troll the shit out of squidforce

like when they go on interviews and stuff they constantly mention how shitty squidforce is and "yeah i personally prefer [smaller organisation]'s inksports, they have way better maps and modes, squidforce just has a monopoly so..." and squidforce cant do shit bc theyre the charismatic face of this popular new team and itd be bad publicity

CB and Bubbles dont have real IDs cause theyre amnesiac teenagers who made up their own names. flora and bola get them fake IDs that claim CB stands for Courtney Blitz, making bubbles into Bubbles Blitz

CB often gets called Clam Blitz. CB does NOT appreciate this. Bubbles thinks it's hilarious and only answers people who call him "Blam Blitz" for like a week

Bubbles mains the E-liter but likes lots of different anchors, CB exclusively plays her "splat roller" (a dynamo swung really fast), Flora learnt how to play every weapon from the splat2 campaign and can play basically anything (but usually goes for something close-range so his bloodlust gets put to good use. heavy weapons tend to turn into bludgeons in his hands) i dont know what bola would use tbh. i wanna say a splatana but this is set mainly in splat2 so they wouldnt have those. if anyone is still reading this far pls make suggestions in the notes 👍

CB and Bubbles dont have any sense of money (in my hcs, the domes work more on a communal property + bartering system) so they have no reason to object to pearl giving them inordinate amounts of money. bola and flora have to have a conversation where they ask whether pearl is their sugar daddy. this is agonising for everyone involved.

they used the money to buy an unreasonably large bed that they all sleep on together bc theyre my ocs i make the rules

i promised it was proto next. here *throws them like a javelin through the screen

Proto (captain 3, they/them)

i shld probably start at the beginning for them bc their actions through all the games are the catalyst for a Lot of plot

they were raised in calamari county, their parents were friends with callie and maries parents so they hung out a bunch when they were kids. basically the third squid sister, though they get way too bad stage fright to become idols like the other two

hanging out with those two so much also meant a lot of exposure to cap'n cuttlefish. proto idolised him to no end, decided they wanted to be just like him when they grew up

when the squisters went to inkopolis to become idols, proto became their manager. they were also recruited alongside callie and marie into the NSS when craig decided to reform it. ive never actually watched a playthrough of splat1 so i dont actually know how the plot works other than "craig is there and then callie & marie are there" so the next part is probably gonna be more canon parallel than canon adjacent

also because im just making up random shit about splat1. thats probably also a factor

in this version of canon, the octarians dont steal every zapfish you grab at the end of the levels, only the ones used for the boss levels. all the rest are ones owned by the octarians, mostly bred in captivity cause where tf else are you gonna get the power for running the domes

proto isnt an active agent in splat1, it's callie and marie who go in and do the fighting while proto is the one coordinating them and making plans. their plan is to steal all these extra zapfish to strain the domes' resources and then perform the inkantation during the final confrontation to make the maximum number of soldiers (especially elites) desert, all so they become incapable of stealing more zapfish or launching a retaliatory strike

and cap'n cuttlefish approves so surely that means that this is a good plan and any suffering caused is a necessary evil and it's not like this paranoid old man has any biases or grudges that would impede his judgement. surely not

side note: instead of inner agent 3, CB and Bubbles have to fight inner agents 1 & 2. inner-callie targets CB and inner-marie targets Bubbles because i think the roller-charger parallel is cool

the plan works! elites and soldiers desert in droves, neutering the octarian military capability, and octaria has to focus what resources it has on not starving (which it barely achieves, theres a famine regardless) rather than attacking back. it also creates the conditions for bubbles' parents to leave him and for CB to undergo the extremely painful and inhumane procedures to become an enhanced supersoldier but proto doesnt learn this til octo expansion

the squid sister stories proceed basically like canon, but proto dedicates themselves to agent work while marie focuses on the radio and callie focuses on acting. theyre out investigating the metro with craig when callie gets squidnapped so they dont find out until octo expansion finishes (like a few weeks after she gets rescued)

SPEAKING OF OCTO EXPANSION. PROTO IS THERE THE WHOLE TIME

they dont fight CB and Bubbles, theyre a terrible fighter and a bit of a wimp (and those two are kinda terrifying), instead they watch when they get overpowered and captured by a squad of sanitized octolings (those two got sent to investigate since people kept vanishing when they went that way). they still get the same "youre down here because of me" guilt since they chose to watch rather than intervene

they later got into the metro proper and found those same people but like super amnesia'd and a little traumatised already, even if theyre not sure how much of that was already there, and then they get even MORE fucked up because the metro is fucking Like That

also guilt bc they dont actually help with the tests beyond advice thru the comms. can never have too much of that

they get CB and Bubbles out of the blender by removing their special limiter and spamming splashdown on the top til it breaks, getting exhausted and passing out afterwards, letting tartar control them

the hole in the ceiling gets made by CB throwing a bit of broken blender really hard

usually they would get their ass kicked by either CB or Bubbles, let alone both at once, but the two of them are so exhausted and fucked up and a little injured that the fight is closer than anyone would like. the fight ends when CB grabs them by the ankle and slams them into the floor. think that one scene from the avengers with the hulk and loki

unfortunately, since CB is way too scared and full of adrenaline to properly regulate her strength, she completely crushes their ankle and lower leg. since it doesnt splat them, they dont respawn, and everyone is too preoccupied with destroying the NILs statue to get them to a hospital, the leg wasnt salvageable and they had to get it amputated below the knee

theyre an ambulatory wheelchair user, after that. sometimes crutches instead, but they tend to go for the chair in alterna bc crutches and ice do NOT mix trust me on this. i only had crutches for a couple months but i fell on my ass SO much

anyway they reconnect with callie and marie and things are fine and good and theyre totally not avoiding the twins because marina kept updating them on relevant files she found during OE and theyre struggling to reconcile the idea that these are enemies with the undeniable truth that nobody has had a greater negative impact on their lives than them.

probably would be worse if marina told them the twins were 15. good thing she doesnt!

oh yeah i forgot ages. proto is 17 in splat1, 19 in splat2/OE and 24 by splat3

anyway yeah in their efforts to avoid the twins so that they dont have to think about the wide-reaching consequences of their past actions, they dont actually leave them with any way to contact them while they go check out the Crater. itll only be a quick mission, right? no need to worry about it

alterna happens

then they and the squid sisters come back to cuttlefish cabin to find it completely empty, then discover that flora is still in the hospital after having the shit kicked out of him because he was hypnoshaded and they didnt have any low-tide ink because marie wasnt there and they couldnt contact her and they tried and they tried and why didnt anyone answer and

theres a big cool dramatic confrontation where CB and Bubbles reveal they got all their mem cakes and know exactly who proto is and what they did and would have forgiven if they had been honest but now they cant trust their captain and formally quit the NSS

honestly theres more stuff for proto after this but i ahvent actually figured it out yet.

personality-wise, theyre overconfident in their own abilities and underconfident in the abilities of everyone else, they struggle to give control of anything over to someone else. because why would they allow someone else to be in charge when they know that their own plans are automatically so much better?

as they learn about the actual consequences of their splat1 plan via CB and Bubbles' descriptions of their mem cakes, this confidence falters a bit. they spent so long with that plan being one of their greatest achievements that they cant reconcile with the reality that it had devastating consequences for innocent people

this is not at all helped by Flora, who makes no secret of his opinion on proto. at first he's just fucking with them for the sake of fucking with them, the same way he does for marie, but it gets more antagonistic when proto reacts with genuine anger rather than the good humour marie does. flora absolutely does not take kindly to people trying to exert authority over her so she aims to piss off proto at every opportunity

it is very easy for flora to piss proto off

OKAY I HIT THE CHARACTER LIMIT ILL MAKE A SECOND POST FOR THE REST

[cornflakegetmilking]

Bittersweet Cravings

Warning: this fic contains possesion, alot of killing, oh also some saucy moments

Sauce Warning - Sauceless

Chapter 6: Sweet and Salty

Jack sat on a chair as Flakes dabbed a bit of antiseptic alcohol making him his and flinch away.

"I know it hurts but i need to clean the wound..." They pouted only to receive an eye roll from him.

They huffeded in response and grabbed his arm forcefully and dabbed the wound a few more times and then wrapping the bandage around the his hand.

"You know you didn't have to help me... you're only wasting your time..." He glared at them only to receive a huff again.

"Well unlike you i actually like to help others! Even if the one im helping is some jerk!" They hissed at him a bit before covering their mouth. "S-sorry..."

Jack's eyes widened a bit in surprise from the sudden hissing but laughed receiving a judgemental look from them.

"You're getting all feisty with me all of a sudden hehe! Why's that?" He chuckled now focused on Flakes' reactions, completely forgetting his hand was being taken care of.

"Well i guess its just my natural instincts... usually i can control them better if im full human but i guess with the uhh... collar it brings out more of me..." They laughed nervously as they cut the bandage short to seal it.

Jack looked at them curiously, their facial expression showing they weren't comfortable showing their hostile side. He let out a chuckle as he shook his head.

"You know being a bit feisty isn't all that bad... look where that brought me!" He smiled proudly of himself.

Flakes smiled and shook their head.

"Again im not like you... i like being quiet, i like being a pacifist and i like hiding in the shadows!" Their smile faded as they said this.

"You're a really bad liar... ive said that before haven't I? Hehe you really need to work on that..." He chuckled as Flakes frowned more.

"How's your hand? The bandage isn't too tight is it?" They responded, trying to change the subject.

Jack rose a brow as he looked at his now wrapped hand and moved it a bit to test.

"It's fine... But you're clearly trying to change the subject..." He chuckled standing up to continue his cooking only to stop when he saw the worry in their eyes realizing they were bothered by something. "You're afraid of something... aren't you?"

Usually the fear of others was entertaining to him but he's never seen them intentionally show their's. Flakes was the kind of being to be scared but never to show it and keep their head high even if they already were trembling their face never showed that kind of vulnerability.

Flakes closed her eyes and took a deep breathe and stood up walking off to grab the pan they had set aside.

"I rather not talk about it..." They looked at their reflection through the pan in dissapointment before handing over the pan to him.

Jack looked at them as he set the pan down, he wasnt gonna be able to continue cooking until he got some answers. Flakes looked at them wondering why he was even so invested in their story, but they soon figured out it wasn't that he was worried, but more on the fact he was curious and intrigued.

"You're my belonging, i think i deserve to know don't you think?" He chuckled.

Flakes sighed and nodded as they leaned onto the kitchen table trying to gain the courage to talk.

"You know that book you read? Saying how we're all hostile,  deadly and blood thirsty? Well it's not completely true... First of all we don't attack others just because we can, we do it because we have to... people think we're deadly because of our shape shifting abilities and how we use other species to kill or intimidate others..." They frowned looking away.

"And what about the blood thirst business is that one just lies too?" Jack seemed a bit confused but he was listening quite well.

"No unfortunately that one's true... we like blood... it's what gives us the energy to shapeshift in the first place... the more blood we take in our bodies the more stronger we are... unfortunately just like everyone we get unhealthy addictions... some of us fall to that faith and get out of hand and end up doing anything just to get more blood into their system! It doesn't matter where it came from it doesn't matter who its from and it doesn't matter how they get it! And with people attacking us it gets awfully easy for us to get a hold of that need... they fight, we defend ourselves, they die... then we eat them..." They were quiet for a bit.

"That sounds cool!" Jack chuckled as Flakes just looked at them with a rose brow but sighed remembering who they were talking to.

"But that's why i rather stay quiet, stay calm and stay hidden..." They looked away again and closed their eyes trying to calm themselves.

"Are you prone to that addiction?" He asked intrigued and curious.

"I could be... i mean the taste of blood is good sure but its not enough for me to kill anyone i see just to get it... it's the kind of liking where if i get my hands on it im just grateful! If i did have an addiction i probably would've bitten your hand instead of helping it!" They laughed a bit.

Jack looked at them for a while before walking off to his fridge to get something.

"What are you doing?" They tilted their head and followed.

He then pulled out a large raw steak and handed it to them before giving them a pat on the head and walking back to the stove.

"A treat for being good trophy this far." He chuckled and finally started cooking.

Flake's eyes widen as the large raw steak was handed to them. A bit of drool seeping out the corner of their lips, they gave the raw flesh a sniff as their ears twitched in delight of the fresh smell.

"How long do you think you can... finish that..." Jack smirked and turned back to them only to be surprised seeing they had finished it all and was now just licking the bone.

Flakes looked at Jack only now realizing they wha trey had down and swallowed what was left before looking away blushing a bit from embarrassment on their feral eating.

"How long have you not eaten?! That was the size of my hand!" He seemed genuinely shocked they consumed something big so quickly.

"I-in my defense i haven't eaten anything fresh in a while... also i haven't had unicorn flesh in so long..." They licked off the blood on their hands as Jack proceeded to stare.

"You're sure you dont have an addiction?" He grabbed a tissue to hand over to them.

Flakes only glared at them as they took it to wipe their hands and lips.

"All us shapeshifters eat like this! I-i think... or maybe i really am just disgusting..." They laughed a bit to themselves.

Jack tried to take away the bone from them to throw into the trash only to receive a terrifying growl startling them so they smacked their face with the spatula in their hand.

"Hey! No!" He frowned still genuinely surprised from the hostile growling.

"S-sorry! Sorry! I- really didn't mean to i- i have food aggression!" They whimpered as they handed over the bone.

Jack sighed taking it to throw out. He then paused remembering something.

"How did you even know the steak was unicorn meat?" He was back to focusing on his cooking.

"Ah well... I've hunted down some animals in my past to eat... Unicorn meat just so happened to be one of my favourites, its got a sweet but salty taste to it and not to mention its really juicey and soft... im drooling aren't i?" They looked at Jack a bit concerned for themselves as a bunch of drool was dripping down their chin.

Jack looked at them and laughed, causing him to almost mess up his cooming. Flakes rolled their eyes and giggled a bit before wiping their face with the same tissue they had before.

"So you really like meat! Haha!" Jack finished up his cooking to set aside the dish onto a counter.

"Okay so maybe i do! To be honest i never really noticed til now! I usually live alone after all!" They smiled feeling a sense of comfort with him, it was odd but it was nice too...

Flakes looked at the dish on the counter top and took it in their hands.

"I'll bring it to the dining room for you. Your hand still needs rest." They smiled againa nd walked off.

Jack rolled his eyes but a small smile crept onto his face.

"Fine fine but only if you keep talking about your species! Your book doesnt give you any justice!" He snickered.

Flakes does a fake offensive gasp as they set down the food on his seat.

"Heeeey! I didn't write it!" Their ears twitched happily as they stood aside to let Jack have his space.

Jack chuckled shaking his head as he sat down to finally eat but paused and looked at them who was standing away from him. He sighed and got up to pull a chair next to him making Flakes a bit confused.

"You don't have to always give me space. I would much prefer you to be close, its easier to look at you that way..." He gave them a serious look this time.

Flakes'eyes widen seeing he wanted their company but smiled as their ears started twitching, their face now redder as they were now just flattered by him. They didnt wast any time and sat down with him. Jack let out a small chuckle seeing their pathetic flustered face.

He ate peacefully while Flakes avoided looking at him as he did, not wanting to be rude. However he let out a quiet cough making him grab Flakes attention. They looked at him immediately and saw he was holding out a spoon full of his food.

"I want your opinion on how it tastes..." He demanded.

Flakes just shrugged and took the spoon in their mouth, their eyes glimmered at the taste makung their ears twitch again.

"It tastes really good!" They chirpped as they licked their lips.

There are those stupid eyes again, Jack thought.

He glared at those eyes but shook his head out of the thought and instead smiled cockily.

"I didn't teach myself culinary to be a bad cook after all!" He smiled proudly of himself.

Flakes giggled looking at them full of love in their eyes but slowly that smile died down again... with thay they stood up.

"May i be excused? I need some fresh air..." They looked away not wanting Jack to see their current expression knowing he could read them well.

Jack could care less and just nodded.

"Yeah yeah go ahead. Again just dont go past the gates. " he reminded.

Flakes then took off to the garden and rubbed their head. They felt confused and overwhelmed...

He was nice... why was he nice... he already got what he wanted and yet he wasnt being a full jerk like they felt they should be.

They kept walking inthe garden looking for the flower that they found before. Once they found it they sighed and sat next to it.

"This is all so confusing... We had a moment together... i know it meant nothing but... My heart can't help but want more... But i also know he wont want more... This is Jack Horner for pete's sake!!!" They whimpered and laid next to the flower. "And here i am talking to a flower... you probably cant even understand me..."

They sighed and looked up at the stars, their eyes getting heavy only now feeling how tired they actually were. Today was alot to take in but that was just the beginning...

Slowly as their eyes closed shut to sleep the flower bud next to them slowly bloomed.

To Be Continued

[imraespace]

HIHIGIIGJijihihigiihihih dailt chekcin becofe i start my work

today was actually kinda okay ish i finally participated in my chem class and actually said something that wasnt as stupid than what i usuallt say AND THE TEACHER DIDNF SAY I WAS WRONG SO YAYAY

in my cooking class i was looking at… BOOKING FLIGHTS, HOTELS, RENTAL CARS AND RESERVATIONS FOR RESTAURANTS?? HELLO WHY IS THIS PROJECY REAL IM ABOJT TO WORK ON IT BUT I WANAN DELAY IT EVEN FURTHER CUZ IM A LITTLE UPSET RN

ididnt get jnto the graphic designer position and im like forcing myself to be upset over it or else im gonna be sad over it later and i feel like thats worse bc then at that point its gonna be irrelevant so BUT IM ALSO LIKE WHO?? CARES?????? ITS NOT THAT DEEP AND EVEN IF I DID GET IN ID BE PISSED OFF THAT IM MAKING A POSTER AND NOT STUDYING FOR A TEST OR SOEMTHING HELP and the club is actually irrelevant as hell so it doesnt even really matter

plus anyways theres another thing i signed up for so ill wait for that one instead mueheuheheh but i dont think im getting in that either but at least i applied idk …….

UMUMUM theres nothing else that happened today OH I FINISHED MY NAGI EDIT ITS BEEN FINISHED ACTUALLY HELP IDK WHEN TO POST IT EXCEPT ON SATURDAY WHEN IK IT PROBABLT WONT FLOP AS HARD 💔💔 BUTITS OKAY 😈😈 i need to think of another edit idea or finish that sae edit its been .. pending for like two months now i swear.

i have a test on friday and then another test next week tuesday for history I WANAN DROP OUT OF THE CLASS SO BAD WHY DID I CHOOSE TO TAKE HISTORY AND IM IN THE ADVANCED CLASSES TOO 💔 chem isnt that bad but im scared for the unit test but her tests dont seem as hard HELPME I FEEL LIKE IT SHOULD BE HARDER CUZ ITS CHEM BUT THEN AGAIN ITS ALSO LIKE IM HAPPY IT ISNT AS HARD ITS JUST I STILL DONT GET THESE TWO CONCEPTS AND I REALLT NEED TO LOCK IN FOR MY SUBJECTS

how do i even study for history cuz other than stuff like all i know is inflation, the fiat money system, and how my history teacher hates the united states and they can all suck his bald head bc they all suck and “EW AMERICANS!!!” apparently AND I SEE HIM FOR TWO PERIODS TOO HELP 💔 HE LEGIT ENCOURAGEd US TO DROP OUT OF HIGHSCHOOL AND IM LIKE HELLO ARENT U SUPPOSED TO MAKE US CONTINUE SCHOOL URE LITERALLT A TEACHER BUT OKAY.

im lowk tweaking because i reallt dont know how to study for history and my test on friday i feel so unprepared but to be fair I LEGIT HAVENT STARTED STUDYING YET AND I DONT PLAN TO UNTIL TOMORROW .. and i feel like i should start studying for my history test and im like erm maybe tmr ..! SO TECHNICALLY IF I STICK TO THE SCHEDULE I MADE FOR MYSELF IN MY HEAD WHCIH IS FINISH ALL MY ASSIGNMENTS TODAY (impossible) IT GIVES ME ALL THE TIME IN THE WORLD TO STUDY FOR MY TWO TESTS WHICH LEAVES TIME FOR ME TO STUDY FOR MY CHEM TEST IN LIKE ESTIMATED 2-3 WEEKS BUT THEN I KNOW I CANR STICK TO SCHEDULE 💔 if i finish my cooking assignment today somehow then ill be able to do this and i sleep at like 11 pm today bc momi got mad i slept at 12 yesterday HELP. IMSORYR MOM I FELT GROSS I HAD TO SHOWER AT 11 OR ELSE I WOUDLNT BE ABLE TO FALL ASLEEP

i usuallt shower once i get home from school but yesterday my dinner meal thign project was due so i wa slike ok i have to prioritize this over my own stinky AND I DID FINISH IT MUEHAUYAIEGAPBX NOW I HAVE TO DO IT AGAIN BUT FINISH IT IN LIKE 4 HoursHELP HOW LONG SHOULD THIS EVEN TAKE HE SAID ITS REALLT SIMPLE AND COPY PASTE BUT IM ALSO REALLY SLOW WITH ASSIGNMENTS IN GENERAL .. ☹️i get distracted too easily HELP.

i dotn even have a lock in playlist like i do my liked songs on shuffle and skip wvery songim not innthe mood to listen to i actuallt need to invest in playlists or else i cant do this shuffle liked method anymore ……

illcome baxk if i finish my project early ….. ILL ACTUALLY LOCK IN TODAY TRUST BUT DAILT UQRSTION TIME

would you rather be a gojo plushie or a smiski figure im just starign at them and theyre like right next to each other HELP I HAVE TWO FIGURES FROM THE CHEER SERIES??? IDK EXACTLY BUT THEYRE CUTE I WAS GONNA COLLECT MORE BUT 15 DOLLARS PER SMISKI MYSTERY BOX IS KINDA A SCAM FOR ME 💔

- 🐙

HAII today was okayish for me as well my typing class was kinda fun the teacher wasn't scary today!

YIPPEE!! GOOD JOBB

HELP WHAT ALL OF THAT INN COOKING CLASS??

LMAO i hope you get upset or something.. that sounds mean HELOME IDK IF I SHOULD COMFORT OR NOT

LMAO making posters sounds fun tho.. yet I make legal documents in class🙄🙄

DANG GIRL DO YIU HAVE A LIST YOU CHECK OFF WHEN SIGNING TO CLUBS?

OMG NAGII I'm gonna work on my drafts maybe on friday.. and rin smau.. I got a random rin spark of inspiration when reading these romance mangas..

OH WAIT THAT REMINDED ME THAT I NEEDED TO GIVE YOU AN EDIT IDEA ILK THINK OF ONE

ew I hate history ALSO YOU CAN DROP OUT OF A CLASS? I mean i heard of it but idk.. I'm too caribbean for this HELP

when I used to do chem I was so confused but I somehow passed history on the other hand idk what i did or if I passed or not THATS HOW UNINTERESTED I WAS IN HISTORY BC THEY DONT TEACH US STUFF THAT APPARENTLY EVERYONE SUPPOSED TO KNOW IT WAS LIKE LOCAL STUFF AND IT WAS kinda boring.. SAME WITH WHEN I USED TO DO GEO THEY DIDNT TEACH US STUFF LIKE THE DIFFERENT CONTINENTS N STUFF MY FRIEND THOUGHT EGYPT WAS IN EUROPE I wasn't that bad like him.. BUT THATS MY POINT THEY DONT TEACH US IMPORTANT STUFF HERE so luckily I had business! well I chose business bc I wanna own my nursery or maybe a pre-school I like children and I have patience I think.. everyone thinks I'm crazy heh.. maybe I am..

HELPME THAT TEACHER REMINDS ME OF MY OLD DRAMA TEACHER he saw my gc messages once and HE TOOK OFF WITH MY PHONE

DANG SM MOTIVATION I wish I have that LMAO I asked my momma for help and she said when she used to go to school when she comes home she just go n play games ans she never studied she just had a good memory😂😂😐😒😒😒 I DONT I FORGOT WHAT I DID THIS MORNING I have no motivation hahaha..

YOUR MOM GETS MAD AT YOU? well mine does as well bc since I'm anemic I need 8 hours of rest bur (I don't go to sleep early) so I always get yelled at when I feel lightheaded BUT I TAKE NAPS IN THE AFTERNOON sometimes SO I HAVE A BURST OF ENERGY IN THE NIGHT plus I'm reading so

LMAO I GET DISTRACYED EASILY AS WELL that's why I'm up at 11pm and haven't started my notes bc imON MY PH9JE

ou playlisys are my favorite thing ti make! I have like 20 playlists public bc apparently I learnt my friends use them bc one asked me when I'm gonna update it and I'm like whag ans I have a bunch more in private

i woukd rather a smiski bc i searched it up and it looks cutiepie!

IDK WHAT'S A SMISKI OR WHAT SERIES IR HAVE

[m1ckeyb3rry]

That answers my question I just completely forgot to send it in omfg I CANNOT let myself get distracted while replying anymore I literally like almost deleted this note thinking I already sent it in goodbye.

But anyways….……

LMFAOOO THANK YOU I APPRECIATE THE SUPPORT!!! You’ll be the first to know if I ever actually start using it HAHA honestly you’d probably end up answering some boomer like tumblr questions of mine bc I’m ngl why’s there sm on this platform HAHA now that I think about it though I straight up just don’t post anywhere maybe I should start changing that…..

NO SO TRUE because I just KNOW they’re picking the juiciest stories like I’m not scrolling through that subreddit myself HAHA

Just doing my part for the Karasu community!!! Gotta kick start it somewhere yk hopefully I’m inspiring people to talk and request Karasu more often!!!! LMAO wait that’s actually kinda crazy though HAHAHA I guess the Hiori requester sniffed out your secret side character vibes before I did smh….lowk that is interesting though?? Ok my thought process was definitely 1) ok she knows Kaiser so she’s def read the manga 2) she has no character limits so I’m just gonna shoot my shot (it worked out in the best possible way omg) I’ve def seen blogs that only write for the main characters ****itoshis but a good amount of them do out only a specific handful of characters in their request rules….wait actually pause I think the main tipping point for me is actually when I ended up reading cherry tree and was like no fucking way Karasu mention??? Time to test the waters because I kid you not I loved the way you did cherry tree but I was also so fucking hooked on the Karasu cameo I was like oh em gee….karasu mention and HE TALKS?? Guys….so yeah!! Actually that also jogs my memory and clears up my own thoughts of how I first found you (again…??) my memory’s kinda bad if you couldn’t tell HAHAHA

Ok……Mira really trying to solidify the shower evidence…sus…/j

THATS WHAT IM SAYING HAHAHAAH ok but like I was a little surprised that they were the color scene I thought it would’ve been some Kaiser Isagi Rin looking thing with maybe mini side characters in the bg kinda like your current header! Stop did we just manifest ego glow up too??

That’s funny because I also haven’t watched but ik what you’re talking about because I remember seeing people freak out over it LMAOOO BUT FR omg shin ah so gorgeous??? Also omfg you’re so right??? The side by side of Hak and hair down zantetsu….the resemblance is uncanny….but FR S2 being my real male leads into the spotlight please….

Tbh I don’t have high hopes for the fandom but we’ll know in our hearts that Karasu is just a closeted sweetheart loser!!! Ok the Nagi cheater allegations and red flags are actually INSANE like how tf??????????? I seriously have no idea what people are on do you think bro even has the energy to cheat……

LMAOO you’re giving them a reality check on everyone’s behalf we thank you for your service o7

Honestly pop off LMAOO like who’s gonna go challenge your parents sooo also wtf????!!!! BRO DID WHAT???!!!! wtf I literally have no words what the helllllllll glad you’re safe now but omg I hope you never have to experience something like that again….um wdym you have more stories like that??????????? Idk if you’ve ever seen those wild tiktok sponsored posts of like this weird pheromone attractive perfume I think you need creep repellent you’re rizz is too strong…..wtf…..also ENJOY SWITZERLAND!!!!!

But omg another storm shshshs stay safe??? Manifesting your electricity holds up from now on HAHA I’d imagine there aren’t storms in Switzerland rn so….

-Karasu anon

LMAOO no i always get so distracted that ‘save draft’ button is my savior when it comes to answering asks but ik you can’t really do that when sending them 😭 if i ever take more than like a day to respond without explanation feel free to send a check-in ask because that means i’m either being unprecedented levels of offline or i just didn’t get it/see it!!

tumblr takes soo long to get a hang of i will be happy to answer any boomer questions of yours as i probably had the same questions when i first began using the app!! i will always be here for the reveal if/when it comes

i guess the side character vibes i give off are too strong…also hiori made a cameo in cherry tree alongside otoya and karasu so they might’ve made a similar journey as you LMAOAO especially because they mentioned in the request that they had read and liked cherry tree!! that’s so funny that that fic (which i wrote for the most basic character ever) is what led to side character fans finding me!! omg no because tbh there was no reason for karasu to be the one talking in that scene but i was starving and desperate to write him and i thought he could pull it off and now i’m so glad i did that!! and yeah a lot of people tend to only write for a few characters which i think is fair because i 100% get being uncomfortable writing for characters you’re unfamiliar with 🧐 me personally though…if i’m in a fandom there’s not a character in it I WON’T write for!! if i’m too unfamiliar with them i’ll just do research until i feel decent abt it (that’s what i did for the hiori request hehe read and reread his ln + wiki until i was like “okay i think i can do this”)

I SHOWER I PROMISE I SHOWER (not clickbait!!)

maybe this means the NEL arc is ending soon?? like they’re putting all of the coaches in the color spread because we won’t see them again for a while…honestly i really liked this (much more exciting than the last epinagi one) and i’m happy it wasn’t the kaiser + isagi + rin combo again!! all of the coaches are really interesting to me as they all show diff pitfalls of professionals sports (chris + vanity, snuffy + depression/burnout, loki + selfishness, lavinho + immaturity iirc?? and noa + being boring af /j) honestly i could read a spinoff abt all of them too!! and omg ego glow up too…we sensed the vibes in the air and we knew egonation was about to RISE

SHINAH MY BELOVEDDD omg i actually once started a fic for him that was the precursor for hurricanes / hummingbirds in many ways and i still think abt it sometimes but like the fandom for yotd is so nonexistent that i never got the motivation to finish it!! but i think i answered an ask abt it as part of a tag game once here if you’re in the mood for some mira writing while waiting for bfb!! no but the resemblance between zantetsu and hak is uncanny omg team v trio is actually team shoujo trio all of them look like they deserve to be male leads…zantetsu in a historical fantasy shoujo, nagi in a high school slice of life but also mental health focused shoujo, and reo in a ceo romance shoujo SKDJFHS they’re all so bf i love them

we will always know the truth abt karasu and that’s what matters 😩 no because i need to know…do the nagi cheater/red flag (which are unrelated to his laziness) allegations stem from him “leaving” reo during second selection?? because if so that’s insane to me there’s such a difference between joining a different soccer team and cheating on your romantic partner 😭 in epinagi even reo himself acknowledges that he SHOULD be happy for nagi and nagi is so ‘no thoughts head empty’ about it LKDFJGNS bro fr was putting the pieces together like isagi…”play soccer with isagi -> get better at soccer -> win world cup with reo 😄” HOW IS THIS A RED FLAG???

LMAOOO it’s so bad i feel like looking back my time in high school just sounds unreal?? i sent a picture of my eye to another guy i was friends with (in the same friend group as the other two ironically) to show him my new mascara and no joke he responded with an entire verse comparing my eyes to “the heavens” 😭⁉️ and there was also a point in my senior year when i kinda liked a junior on the soccer team (so bfb reader of me but like. reversed.) but for some reason everyone shipped me with the captain of the soccer team?? like people would harass my FRIENDS asking if i liked him…meanwhile i liked mr junior varsity who didn’t even get playtime 😓 it was so bad too i went to a soccer game and everyone thought i was attending to watch the captain, INCLUDING THE GUY I WAS INTO 😐 i went up to congratulate him after the game and bro fr said “did you see the captain play he was amazing” i just left at that point because what can you even do…these are relatively tame in terms of mira lore sadly KJSHGHDFK this is why i have never had a boyfriend or first kiss or anything like that 💔 they’re all CRAZY 😱

SWITZERLAND SOON!! unfortunately my dreams of finishing bfb before my flight are definitely not coming true sooo ig i know what i’m doing for the entire plane ride!! hopefully the lack of distractions will help me finish it up and then i can just proofread in my downtime and hopefully post at some point soon…feel like i’ve been teasing you all for so long but i promise it will be long enough to make the wait worth it (i hope anyways)

[whinecrate]

(idr when but when he was joking about installing Tinder again when he went home for Pooja holidays or something in 23)

Ok so in general i always do feel very replaceable

Like you don't have to say anything to make me feel better ik I'm amazing but it's more of what people need from another person atm etc and like rn this combination of people work better but knowing it doesn't help like you'd still feel it ig idk what I'm technically getting at

And it's also cuz i hate needing/wanting anyone/anything more than they want/need me actually ig that's just for wanting i just overall hate ever needing anyone at all and not a fan of people needing me i want them to want me

But like yes so even in friendships like at any point sach could just start spending more time with someone else and end up closer to them n I'd definitely feel it a lot but like I'm just gonna be like yeah whatever in fact id probably pull back more so im not in the way and actually I did kinda feel it in the beginning with sach n pro

And i also hate being a person who'd be jealous cuz it's their life if they want someone else instead of me if that works better for them rn then why not I'd just hate being the reason they're staying out of some obligation when they'd rather have someone else

And friendships it's fine cuz you do have different friends and it's sorta fluid and it varies and anyway it just happens and it can fade and blah blah blah I don't really keep friends so like it's fine I'm used to it

But here it would be more idkkkk just in general it's a relationship so like *vaguely gestures cuz i don't have words esp cuz it's been while so it's like died down and i had other stuff to deal with*

Also my opinion of you isn't complete trash you realise that right and before we were dating also I have straight up told you that yeah you as the version ik if you were just like that they definitely could like you so it's not like i think it's so impossible for you to ever get other girls

And full honesty I have considered like yea what if it just hasn't hit you what if it's just your incredibly low self esteem and what if at some point you get enough attention from someone else

And anyway doing things on purpose to see if they get jealous kinda feels like testing you ig..? or like remember when we talked about the thing about proving or giving reasons to stay etc it feels kinda like that too

And i don't like the concept of doing it for the reaction cuz yeah sure possessiveness hot n all but you know they don't like it cuz who wants to be jealous obviously so its just agitating someone for your amusement

But main point being i just do in general feel extremely replaceable so jealousy doesn't mix well and I don't even like considering it

And i didn't wanna talk about it in person cuz i felt like if I started talking about it I might start crying that's what I meant by some convos I'm better over text than in person

[magnoliamyrrh]

genuine question how did u deal with your pregnancy scare because i think im going through one at the moment :(

hey dear <3 im sorry to hear that ur going through this, i hope its gonna b a false scare. it can definetely be scary and both times when I've gone through this it made me feel rather crazy

before i say anything else ill say tho: i went through this luckily in a place that allows abortion and knowing i had the money for tests or an abortion. if you dont, please reach out and ill try my best to work together to figure out something that would work. and if itd be really hard to get the money for tests (you can get those at most pharmacies and bigger stores) or an abortion any other way, please also reach out to me; i can most likely help out at least a bit with that. know that you're not alone, many of us have gone through this; it happens 🫂

...mostly, i tried to keep myself grounded and not spiral, which was hard, but i tried. i tried to tell myself that until enough time passed to take a test, there was nothing I could do about it, and thus it'd be best to just not think about it as much as possible until then; just set an alarm for that day and see then, because no amount of worrying, spiraling, thinking, etc. in the meantime would change anything. i also tried to not spiral into self hatred or self blame too much, because that again wouldn't be productive or change anything, just make me feel worse. these things happen, it is what it is.... i still thought about it and freaked out from time to time and it was always in the back of my mind, but trying to just think about it like this helped me during that time, and helped me from losing it as much as i could have..... i also had a tendency to want to put off getting a test and to avoid it, but I tried to tell myself again, that weather i know or dont know it wont change if its positive or not, and thus it would be better to know, and to know before the whole thing goes on longer if it is so. so, taking the actual tests was definetely anxiety inducing and scary, but i tried to tell myself that it had to be done, and it was the better option, and that I would be more okay if I knew, than didn't

.... one of my issues personally was that despite whatever rational thoughts i was having about if i was pregnant i realistically should not keep it for a very long list of reasons, i found out that i had an instict from somewhere in me to want to do so anyway. thus, i was more reticent to find out if i actually am or not, because I didn't know how I would handle that. i really struggled with this both times, dont know if you are. what helped me with that was just telling myself that no matter what, i couldn't. listing to myself all the reasons why it wouldn't work out - both for myself, and because even more importantly i wouldn't realistically be in a position to provide a kid everything they would need and everything that i would want to give them.... and trying to tell myself too, that its alright if i need to get an abortion; its not a bad thing (even though I generally feel this way, I've tended to end up personally conflicted when it comes to me). now, idk how your life is, where you're at, and how you're feeling about all this. what I can say is, if you are actually pregnant it's going to be your decision, and you'll get through it, and you'll be okay, but please if that is the case, really think about it.... but I would generally say, that is not something to keep too much on your mind until you take an actual test (or your period comes). it helped me to tell myself all the thoughts and contemplations just arent doing too much or taking me anywhere until i know

something i tried to tell myself too and that I'll tell u too, is that its gonna be okay. some women have a hard time with abortions, and others don't - thankfully ive never actually had to have one, just been there for friends who have- but it's going to be okay. you'll get through it and come out the other end and you'll be okay. you'll be okay until you find out and after you find out, whatever the results may be. you'll get through it, as you have gotten through other things in life <3

.... im sorry if this didn't help too much, but that's basically how I got through... the first time this happened it was actually due to something non-consensual too which was kinda a different kind of scary and crazy feeling to deal with, and I hope that's not the case with you, but if it is im sorry, and if you want you can send me another ask and I'll share how I got through that one..... but.. mostly.. just try to be gentle and kind with yourself, and try not to overthink until you can get an actual answer. do other things you enjoy, get other stuff you need to get done done, meditate, listen to music, talk to people, whatever may help you keep calm and take your mind off of it in the meantime. and know that you're not alone with going through this, and that youll b okay. ❤️🧡💛 wishing you the best 🌸

[alaskan-wallflower]

vent ig

tbh i’m just…so tired

i have finals and other tests that literally my area of the country takes because god forbid ANYTHING can be easy for more than like two days for me

and yes, if you bothered to read my messages, i exited the furry community. yay.

and at school everything is fucking miserable because between tests and quizzes and everything along those lines i get the wonderful privilege of being posted about on social media without my consent and then i get to listen to the same girls who were posting. about me talking shit about me in our shared room during a field trip for band, saying i should kill myself, that i should go die and that i have anger issues and jealousy problems and it’s just so fucking annoying

and im too afraid to post vents on here now because i just don’t feel safe anywhere. i don’t feel like i can filter my feelings anymore and i know that something is going to become of this and i don’t WANT that. i don’t.

and then i just make innocent fanart and fanfic and i get harassed for it? are you fucking kidding me?! like seriously. I’ve said it once and i will say it again. IF YOU DONT LIKE WHAT I POST, DONT INTERACT! You have NO fucking right to harass me. I don’t give two shits if you think im cringe or whatever, and if you can’t even confront me without masking as anonymous? that’s fucking pathetic. To whomever sent me those asks, either shut the fuck up or tell me who you actually are so i can block and report you. i don’t give two shits about your opinions, so you can leave me be.

and now on top of that, my dog is sick again. Again. I did everything i could and she just…keeps getting worse. i can’t lose her. she’s been my best friend since i was four years old and i know she’s getting old, but…fuck…i don’t even know anymore

and now that summers coming i promised myself i would work out and such now that i have time and i’ve been weightlifting when i can, and now that finals are coming up and i can’t do that anymore and i have a tendency to either not eat at all when i’m stressed or stress eat, and the latter has been more apparent and now i just…feel fucking fat again…and i have a vision in mind for what i want, i’m gonna work out and fix my bad habits, but it all just…seems hopeless…i’m fat and i know it bad i’ve been covering it with sweaters and stuff and my mental health is taking a toll from all of it and i just…i don’t know anymore…everything’s miserable…

thing is, would anyone even care? would anyone know? i’ve lost the majority of my friends and i’m terrified. my parents are gonna kill me if i don’t get all high nineties on my report card. I’m trying to get into wake forest, which is about a 25% acceptance rate and is also where a family member went. i know if i don’t get in, they’re gonna be so fucking disappointed…i can’t do that to my family. i can’t be a dumb disappointment. i can’t be.

and just…i’m so angry and i’m so upset right now and i don’t know what i’m doing wrong because i just…nothings working out anymore. i’ve had so many breakdowns in the last week and i feel sick. i know i’m gonna fail one of them and i’m terrified of what my parents will do. i can’t dip below what’s seen as good in their eyes. i finally got into honors math after i worked my tail off for three years to get there and the first thing they do is yell at my brother and brag about me. i hate that. and if i end up getting kicked out of that..? they’re gonna be so fuxking disappointed in me. and i’m scared.

i’m scared and i don’t know what to do

i just wanna feel loved or something

i love my family. i really, really love my family and i would take a bullet for them, but i’m just…i’m terrified of them sometimes

i wanna feel loved and just…appreciated for once. like someone actually fucking needs me. like someone would actually like…i dunno..care.

i’m desperate. i’m latheryic. i’m alone and i know that. i just feel like shit

and i don’t know what to do.

[hockeyboysimagines]

Bitter

Chapter 7

Warnings:TW- medical conditions, mentions of death. Language, implications of sex but no actual sex this chapter(Minors DNI).

This one’s kind of sad, be warned. But I hope you enjoy it. Three more chapters till the end! Then I’ll be making it back to Pierre, Tyler, and something new😏😏😏

“What’s wrong?” Mat asked Leighton with a frown.

She was standing, completely still in the doorway of their bedroom, an expression on her face he’d never seen before. And then a single tear slid down her cheek.

“Leighton-“

“I don’t think…” she said voice quavering slightly “I don’t think I can keep calling you my fiancé.”

His heart sank. She had finally had enough and she was leaving him. He’d seen it coming for months, and he couldn’t say he was surprised but his heart started to sink.

“Because.” she continued a fresh set of tears rolling down her cheeks, a smile spreading across her face “I’m going to need to start calling you my baby daddy.” She let out a choked laugh and held up a pregnancy test.

Several emotions ranging from sadness, to confusion to elation spread across his face in a fraction of a second and he stood suddenly.

“Are you pregnant?” He asked softly, eyes wide.

“Im having your baby Mat Barzal!” She squealed as he took two giant steps forward and hoisted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist.

“Are you serious?!”

She held the test up to his eye level as another set of tears rolled down her cheeks “Are you happy?”

“Are you kidding me? I’m so happy. I love you.” He leaned forward to kiss her and then pulled away setting her down.

“I’m gonna be a dad!” He yelled hands on her shoulders. She laughed and looked down at the test, practically glowing as her eyes moved over the two pink lines.

“It’s so early, way too early to tell anyone, I haven’t even seen a doctor yet and -“

“Make an appointment. No matter what I’ll be there.”

He pulled her in for another hug, a warm fuzzy feeling settling inside him as she rested her head on his chest, eyes closed.

This is what dreams were made of.

Her dreams.

************

Beau rolled off Ginny and let out a long breath, wiping sweat from his forehead.

“Jesus Christ.” He huffed out, turning to look at her. She was sweaty and red faced next to him but the early morning light that was coming through the window was hitting her just right, and he was almost positive he could go again at this exact moment.

She rolled over the face him, a lock of her long red hair falling forward over her shoulder.

“Well good morning.” He said with a chuckle, brushing the hair over her shoulder and leaning forward to kiss her.

“I don’t wanna go to work.” She said when they broke apart.

“I wish you didn’t have to go. That would leave so much time for other things…” he trailed off, hands roaming under the sheet and in between her legs. She gasped and held in the breath.

He grinned and then pulled them out.

“Later I’ll make good on that. But your going to be late right now.”

“Ughhhh. Maybe I could call out sick.”

“You never call out sick, that would be too suspicious.”

“I hate it when your right.”

He chuckled and rolled so he was on top of her, lips pressing sweetly against hers “Come over tonight, we can do dinner or something.”

She smiled “Okay. I’ll see you tonight then.”

He watched as she got dressed and slipped her shoes on before giving him a kiss and leaving. He stood at the window, watched her get into her car and drive away before he threw himself back on his bed.

He was falling hard and fast and when he hit the bottom it was going to hurt. He knew this couldn’t go on forever. He couldn’t sneak around with her for the rest of his life and it would have to either come to light eventually or end. He knew Ginny would never tell anyone and he wouldn’t go behind her back and do it so that really only left one logical option.

Eventually this would all have to stop.

He never wanted it to stop. He was having a better time with her than he’d had with anyone and it wasn’t just the sex. She was funny, smart and the kind of girl he’d only ever dreamed of. She challenged him, and she made him laugh and feel good. He got excited when she came over and loved waking up next to her. He had set himself up to fail from the start and now that he realized what was coming he felt terrible.

He sighed and rolled over, breathing in the perfume that lingered on his sheets.

This was going to hurt worse than anything he’d ever been through before.

For both of them.

***********

“Today at 3?” Leighton said confirming the appointment with the nurse “Yes sounds great I’ll be there.” She hung up the phone and pulled up her messages to text Mat when she heard a voice at her door.

“What’s today at 3?”

Ginny was standing in the doorway looking at her curiously, and Leighton panicked. She wanted to tell her so bad but she wanted it to be special.

“Oh uh I have a dentist appointment that I thought was tomorrow and I had the wrong date apparently so I was calling to check.” Leighton was almost surprised at how easily the lie came out of her mouth. She’d never lied to Ginny about anything, but this was different. She wanted to tell her so bad, but she just couldn’t yet.

“Oh. Okay.”

“I texted you this morning asking if you wanted coffee and a ride.” She said, changing the subject. Ginny had gotten her message but she’d forgotten to answer when Beau started kissing her and then she figured it was too late anyways by the time he stopped.

“Oh yeah I forgot to answer my alarm never went off and I was almost late. I figured you were already here by then. Sorry.”

“Oh. Are you okay?” Leighton was looking at her with an unreadable expression. She was definitely acting strange, but Ginny was also acting strange, and there was an uneasy feeling in the air between them. A feeling that had never been there before.

“I’m fine. Are you okay?”

“Yeah I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”

“No reason. Just checking….” Ginny trailed off and then cleared her throat “Okay well. I’m gonna get to work. I’ll come visit later on.”

“Okay.” Leighton smiled “See you.”

“See you.” Ginny held her smile until she was several feet away and let it fall and a long breath out.

“God I totally suck.” She mumbled to herself as she entered her office, dropping her bag with a noise of disgust as she pulled her jacket off.

Lying to Leighton got worse for her every damn day. The already giant elephant was growing bigger by the day and it was crushing her at this point, as the guilt clouded her every minute she was around her.

She sat at her desk and leaned her head in her hands.

She was the worst best friend ever.

But she had only a few moments to wallow, when there was a knock at her office door. She looked up in horror as Ethan stepped in to her office. She hadn’t seen him since she’d ditched him for Beau and she’d been successfully avoiding him for weeks.

“Oh, hey.” She said with a small smile.

“Hey. How are you?” He looked like a puppy standing there, cheery eyed and smiling. It made Ginny sick.

“I’m okay. You?”

“Good good. Been a while?” He phrased it like a question and Ginny nodded.

“Yeah it has been…”

“So listen.” He stuffed his hands in his pockets and drug the toe of his shoe across the floor “I’ve been meaning to ask if you ever got that family emergency taken care of?”

Ginny frowned “What family-oh right.”

Shit.

She’d lied to so many people in the past few months she was beginning to forget who she’d lied to. She’d gotten too comfortable with leading a double life that she’d stopped being paranoid.

“Yeah everything is fine now.” She smiled and pursed her lips, hoping he’d accept it and leave but he didn’t.

“Great. That’s great. So how about we try again? I really wanna take you out since our date got interrupted last time.”

“Oh. Uhm-listen Ethan.” Ginny sighed and glanced at her hands “I have a lot going on these days, with the wedding and all and I just don’t really have time to date right now.”

“It’s okay. I get it. Maybe after the wedding? I’m willing to wait a little.” He smiled again and It stabbed Ginny right through the heart. He was smiling at her like she’d personally hung the moon and stars in the night sky and she wanted absolutely nothing to do with the poor guy. It wasn’t personal, and he really was a nice guy. The kind of guy she should like. But she didn’t, and even if Beau wasn’t around she knew he would never be enough.

“Uh-yeah maybe.”

“Okay great!” He said with a smile “ I’ll talk with you then. Good-luck with everything.”

“Yeah thanks.” She said not even pretending to be sincere as she watched him leave and slunk down in her chair.

She hated her life sometimes.

***********

Kaitlin felt more at peace than she had in a while, knowing her plan would take effect in just a few hours.

It was downright evil, and she felt absolutely no guilt about it. Sure she was angry at Mat but she knew how much Beau had pushed the idea of him and Leighton and she was even angrier at him.

She barely knew Ginny but as far as she was concerned she was just another person who had a hand in ruining her life.

Even if this didn’t stop the wedding, it would drive a wedge in a tight friendship, and that would leave everyone vulnerable.

She smiled again as she clicked away on her keyboard at work, humming a tune to herself.

**********

“There’s your babies heartbeat.” The tech said pointing at the screen. A loud beating sound came from the monitor “Very healthy.”

Leighton beamed at Mat who was staring at the screen open mouthed.

“My guess.” The tech said “Is that your about 10 weeks, so almost out of the first trimester. But we’ll have the doctor double check.”

Mat watched as the tech moved the wand over Leighton’s stomach and then frowned a little. Leighton was too busy watching the monitor to notice, but he did. A sinking feeling came over him as the ultrasound tech finished up and handed Leighton a towel, giving her a small smile before leaving the room.

“Are you happy?” She asked squeezing his hand and smiling. He nodded and smiled back as they left the room and headed for the exam room to wait for the doctor.

Leighton grabbed a bunch of pamphlets on pregnancy to read, just as the doctor entered the room.

“Hello new parents, and congratulations.” She said as she sat down and opened Leighton’s chart eyes moving over the words.

“So you are about ten weeks.” She peered at her over he glasses and then closed the file before she cleared her throat “And things look good, but there is something troubling that showed on your ultrasound.”

Mat braced himself for the worst and watched as Leighton’s smile faded.

“You have a condition…” the doctor began. Mat paid rapt attention but Leighton’s eyes had glasses over and she stared at the wall.

“So what does this mean exactly? Are she And baby okay?” He asked

“Yes. Leighton and the baby are fine, perfectly healthy. It won’t affect anything until delivery. Now as long as everything goes perfectly she’ll be fine.”

Mat swallowed thickly before he spoke “And what if everything doesn’t go perfectly? What are the risks?”

The doctor pursed her lips “She runs the risk of hemorrhage, which can cause complications and death if we can’t get it under control. I know this is scary, but if you decide to terminate I can give you resources. As long as you take care of yourself and we do everything right going forward there’s a good chance it takes care of itself and everything will be fine. Apart from that your healthy, and so is the baby.” The doctor patted her hand and smiled, before leaving the room and directing them to the checkout area.

Leighton was silent as they checked out and headed home. She had her arms folded tightly over her midsection, and she was breathing heavily, holding back tears as they got into the elevator and made their way up to their floor.

“I’m gonna cancel dinner tonight.” He said as the made their way inside. She headed towards the kitchen and opened the fridge, hand shaking as she opened a bottle of water, taking a sip with her eyes closed. She felt nauseous and sad, as tears pricked her eyes and she blinked them away.

“Why?” She spoke for the first time as she turned to him.

“Because I don’t think your up to it. I know the doctor scared you-“

“I’m terrified…but I still want this baby.”

“Leighton I-“

“I want to keep it.” She said firmly, eyes narrowing. She was staring at him intensely, arms folded again.

“Leighton listen to me. We can try again. Your putting your life at risk.” He said gently, taking a step forward, but she backed away from him.

“No you listen to me. I’m keeping it. It’s my body, and I want to go through with this.”

Mat sighed and let his head fall forward “And what if you die? What then? We did all this for nothing?” He gestured around “We went through all of this for nothing? You would do that to me?”

“And what if I’m completely fine? Then we did all this for something!”

“That’s not a good enough reason to risk this! And if your not fine I could lose you. The baby too! That’s not fair to anyone.”

“This whole thing isn’t fair!” She yelled tears spilling over her eyelids.

“Calm down the doctor said-“

“I don’t care! Nothing about this is fair! This baby, my wedding, nothing!”

“The wedding is fine, I will not let anything happen to our wedding.”

“It already has Mat. It already has! She’s ruined it already.” Leighton cried “I’m keeping this baby, and I need you now. Please.” She gripped the front of his shirt “Please.”

He gripped her wrists and gently pulled her closer to try and talk her down, but she pushed him away, tears running down her cheeks as she headed to the bedroom. Mat felt tears burn his own eyes and he leaned forward on the island. He had waited four years for the love of his life to come back to him and now he could lose her forever.

It was terrifying.

He looked at the photo of them hanging on the wall across the kitchen. He closed his eyes, breathing out through his nose. It was an incredibly difficult position to be in. He wanted to be a dad, he really did, but not bad enough that he would risk the life of the only girl he’d ever really loved. But he knew that she wasn’t giving up this baby, and that even though he was scared, it had to be 1,000 times worse for her. So he would do what any man would for the woman he loved.

He walked quietly to the bedroom and opened the door. She was sitting with the pamphlets spread across the bed, eyes red from crying as she looked up at him. He sat down next to her and grasped her hand in his own.

“I love you more than anything Leighton, and I would do anything for you. if you want this baby, then I do too.”

She smiled slowly,breathing out a sigh of relief and then sniffled “Can we do this?”

“We can do anything.”

**********

Knock knock

Beau glanced up and untangled himself from Ginny as he grabbed the cash.

After two rounds of sex, they’d ordered takeout to refuel for another bout of it. He felt exhausted, the girl really was a wildcat, but he also felt something else as he looked at her, half naked in his bed.

He had it bad.

He sighed as he walked to the door, absently shuffling through money.

He had expected a food delivery but was horrified to find Mat and Leighton standing on the other side. They both frowned at him while he frowned back, and a cold shiver of dread went down his spine. He had no idea what they were doing here at his door while he was wearing only a pair of boxers post sex with Leighton best friend, who was still inside.

“What are you guys doing here?” He asked still looking confused. He made a step forward hoping the make them move so he could shut the door behind him.

“What do you mean? Dinner remember?”

When he looked at them blankly Mat pulled out his phone and held up the message.

“That’s not from me-“

“Is that the food?” He heard from inside his apartment. He closed his eyes as Leighton frowned at the voice, eyebrows coming together. Ginny turned the corner wearing only a T-shirt that just barely covered the bottom of her underwear. She froze and she and Leighton stared at eachother for a few moments. He braced himself and waited for an explosion.

“What the hell is this?” Leighton asked looking between them. She didn’t look surprised anymore but rather angry. Mat however didn’t look as shocked as he thought he would be.

“Leighton I-“ Ginny began to speak but then stopped.

“Can we bring this inside?” Beau asked ushering them through the front door “Let us get dressed and we’ll talk okay?”

He pushed Ginny towards his bedroom. Her heart was pounding so loud he could hear it and as soon as the door closed she turned to him. She looked panic stricken.

“What are they doing here?” She whispered looking for her jeans. Her hands were shaking as he pulled a shirt over his head and grabbed gym shorts.

“I have no idea. Mat said I texted him but I didn’t.”

Ginny drew in a deep breath and stared at the door like she would be walking into a war on the other side.

“Hey.” He grasped her hand and squeezed “We’re in this together.” She pulled her hand from his and slipped on her pants and followed him out to the kitchen to find Mat and Leighton both looking at them disappointed, and angry.

“Well the cats out of the bag I guess.” Beau said hands on his hips. He had hoped it would lighten the mood, but the look on Leighton’s face clearly told him it didn’t.

“This isn’t funny.” Leighton said arms crossed. She was staring a hole through Ginny who was looking at her feet “You’ve been lying to us? To me?” She said softly. She looked mad mostly, but she looked hurt too “I thought we didn’t keep secrets from each other?”

Mat was sitting at the island between them eyes moving back and forth, chin resting on his hands.

“We didn’t want to upset you.” Beau said glancing at Ginny. She was still looking at her feet, with an expression somewhere between guilt and ashamed.

“Well I’m upset!” She snapped making them all jump. Mat looked at her concerned and rested an hand on her arm.

“It just happened. It didn’t mean anything when it started okay.”

Ginny felt a tiny pang one her heart as the words left his mouth. She’d always thought deep down maybe it didn’t mean anything but to hear him say it out loud confirmed her fears. She was catching feelings for someone who felt nothing for her, and her worst nightmare had come to fruition. If Mat and Leighton hadn’t been there she probably would have cried but she held it in because they had an audience.

“How long?” Leighton had her arms folded, eyes narrowed as she looked between them.

He couldn’t look at her, or Mat so he looked at his hands“ 2 months.”

Mat turned surprised, and spoke for the first time.” So that night we sent-“

“Yeah. That was the first time.”

“This has been going on for 2 months and neither of you felt the need to say anything about it to us?! Instead you lied and acted like you still hated each other instead ?” Leighton’s cheeks were red and her eyes were wide as she looked between them.

Mat put a hand on her shoulder “Leighton you can’t get like this. Remember what the doctor said.” He said it quietly enough that he figured they wouldn’t hear but Ginny did.

“What doctor?”

“Never mind-“

“Oh no no. Your yelling at me about keeping secrets and your not going to tell me? Hypocritical no?”

“Ginny-“ Mat said but Leighton cut him off.

“I’m pregnant.”

The air in the room froze and Ginny’s face went blank “What?”

“I found out yesterday and today I-“ but she stopped and cleared her throat “And I’m 10 weeks.”

“Your really pregnant?” Ginny asked again, tears coming to her eyes. She wanted nothing more than to run and hug her but she stayed in her spot. It broke her heart to see the look on Leighton’s face when Ginny didn’t come to her, but she couldn’t move. It was too much at one time and it was tearing her in too many directions.

“I’m more concerned with this text message.” Mat said, swiftly changing the subject and turning to Beau “Why would you tell us to come over if this was going on?”

“What text message?” Beau said holding up his hands “I never sent you any messages-“ but stopped when Mat held up the phone so he could read it.

“I didn’t send you that message.” Beau said frowning “That’s not even my number, you know that.”

“But that doesn’t make sense…. If you didn’t send me this message then who-“ but he stopped mid word and closed his eyes “Kaitlin.”

Ginny had said something was off about her when they’d confronted her at the bar, and now he knew what it was. She must have found out about them somehow and set the whole thing up. It was the only thing that made sense.

“You were right.” He said softly to Ginny.

“I told you.” She replied “I told you and you said it would be fine.”

“What do you mean?” Leighton asked. Her face felt like fire, but her body felt cold and sweaty.

“Kaitlin was at the bar a few weeks ago. We got rid of her quietly, but I said something was weird about her behavior. She was acting too cool, and now we know why.”

“Sorry man.” Mat said staring at his feet “I don’t know what to say.” He sighed and ruffled his hair “She’s not going to stop.”

Leighton felt a wave of nausea and she went pale.

Kaitlin was single-handedly ruining her life. She messed with her wedding, she’d harassed and stalked her, broken her car windows and now she was driving a wedge in a 16 year friendship.

She swallowed and leaned against the counter. Mat turned and frowned at her before he turned back to Beau and Ginny.

“Leighton.” Ginny said “Are you okay?”

“I’m-Im fine.” A thin sheen of sweat had appeared on her face.

“You need water.” Beau pulled a bottle from the fridge, opening it and holding it out to her.

“I think we should save this for another day.” Mat said “She needs to go home and lay down.”

“Okay. We really are sorry.” Ginny said softly eyes moving back to her feet.

Mat steered Leighton to the door and shook his head “No more lies. Please?” They watched as they left before Beau spoke.

“Well that went okay right?” He asked turning to Ginny now that they were alone. But he stopped speaking when he saw the look on her face.

“Okay? Okay? No it wasn’t fucking okay. It felt just as bad as I imagined it would. Did you see Leighton’s face? I hurt her. I lied to her.” She said voice cracking.

“Ginny-“ he reached for her, but she recoiled like he was a snake that had bitten her.

“Don’t touch me.”

“What’s your problem? This isn’t my fault.”

“No. It’s mine. I never should have gotten involved with this. It was a mistake from the start.”

Though it shouldn’t have, her words stung. Like a tiny knife that had quickly jabbed him, leaving a small amount of blood leaking out. Just enough to harm, but not enough to kill.

“You don’t mean that.” He said quietly. He had been hopeful that even though it was admittedly the worst way for them to find out, that maybe it meant there didn’t have to be any more sneaking around. Maybe they could now take the next step.

“I do. Where else was this going, I mean really? We’re we gonna live happily ever after? Continue fucking forever and never tell? You and I both know this is nothing but a hookup.”

“I don’t feel that way. Do you?”

She was quiet a moment before she swallowed and said “Yes.”

He was stunned a moment before he regained his composure “I-I guess I thought maybe you were different but I see you Ginny. I see you.”

“Oh yeah? And I see you. It was something that just happened? Like I was there for your convenience?”

“That’s not what I meant and you know it.”

“Maybe you didn’t mean it but you said it.” Ginny pushed past him and started collecting her things.

“Look can we talk about this?”

“No.” She said sharply, throwing her makeup and shampoo in her purse “We can’t. Whatever this is, it’s over. It’s been over. Go find another plaything.”

“Hey. I never said that and I don’t feel that way.”

“I don’t care Beau!” She said loudly, cheeks turning red “I’ve been lying to my best friend? Did you see her? She’s never looked at me that way. And now, she’s pregnant and this is how I support her? But stressing her out more?”

“Ginny. It’s not like you did this. Kaitlin did.”

“Because we provoked her Beau. We did this. And I won’t do it anymore.”

“Fine then leave. If that’s the way you want things to be.”

“Fine. Your free now to fuck around with whoever you want.”

He scoffed “I’ve always been free to do that, you weren’t my girlfriend.”

Ginny stopped and her eyes narrowed “No I wasn’t. Just a girl you take home and fuck remember?”

“If that’s the category you want to be in, then congratulations your in it.”

Ginny flinched and then recovered “Great. Thanks for being like every other guy out there and wasting my time. Lose my number and don’t talk to me ever again.”

“Done.”

She glared at him and headed towards the front door. He thought briefly about grabbing her and stopping her, but his pride kept him in place. She glanced at him one last time before she grabbed the handle and left, slamming the door behind her.

************

Leighton was quiet the entire way home. Mat felt so bad about Kaitlin he too didn’t say anything, and wouldn’t have even if he could. This was the kind of thing he had been afraid of, and although it wouldn’t derail the wedding, it definitely put a rift in a 16 year friendship, and none of this was fair to Leighton. Or anyone really.

For the second time today, they entered the apartment without speaking. He watched as Leighton walked slowly forward and pulled off her jacket. Sweat had dampened the back of her shirt and her skin looked flushed.

“Are you alright? I think you should lay down.” He said gently, taking her coat and throwing it over a chair.

“I don’t want to lay down.”

“It’s not about what you want, it’s about what you need and you need to lay down.”

When she didn’t respond he spoke again “Do you want to talk about it?”

She turned to him before she spoke “I can’t believe they lied- I can’t-“ But her words stopped and her face turned pale “I can’t-“

“Leighton are you-“ Mat watched in horror as she swayed on her feet and started to tip to the side, eyes rolling back.

He caught her as she fell, head lolling just before it hit the ground.

“Leighton wake up!” He yelled giving her a shake “LEIGHTON!”

[miekasa]

Mie, I’m begging for some Jean college au bf hcs - im literally so down bad for this man and the way you write men is just 🤌🏻🤌🏻🤌🏻

Absolutely, not a problem 😌 I saved this ask as a draft a while ago when you sent it, sorry for just now getting to it. Anyway, I love Jean with my whole heart, best boy, best boyfriend <33

King of forehead kisses, and not even just because of his height in comparison to yours; he just likes it. He likes the feeling of pressing his lips against your skin, and making you feel safe.

Brings you tea or coffee however you like it every day without fail. If he can get it to you in the morning before work/school then he’ll do that, if not he’ll meet you some time in the middle of the day to drop it off. Your own personal courier just for drinks.

He… has a thing for long(er) nails. He loves the feeling of them against his skin, even if you’re not scratching to apply pressure—just you holding his hand them grazing his skin is enough for him.

That being said, he will pay for you to get your nails done. Actually, he’ll pay for… almost anything you want, but the nails benefit him as much as they do you so feel free to ball out.

He never blowdries his hair because he doesn’t... know how to do the back of it. You did it for him once and he hasn’t stopped thinking about it since, but he’s also too embarrassed to ask you to do/style it again.

On the subject of hair, he does do his best to style it and take care of it, but he’s a sucker whenever you play with it. Sometimes he feigns like you’re messing up all his hard work, but he’ll literally crane his head into your touch. He loves it. 

The first time he lays on top of you and you run your hands through his hair... top 10 most euphoric moments of his life. He tries to fight off the sleep threatening to take over him, but it’s futile. Give it 15 minutes at most before he’s knocked out like a baby. 

Dogs love him. Anytime you’re in a park or just taking a walk and there’s a dog around, it’ll come up to him and he looks adorable leaning down to pet it. He loves dogs, too! So he’s always happy to stop and pet them. He’d be a 10/10 dog dad. 

Has your name saved in his phone with two hearts at the end. Do not point it out.

Loves taking pictures together and if you guys are on a date, he’ll ask someone to get a picture for him. He just likes having them to look back on (and to send to his mom, later).

He doesn’t mind painting classes or videos or tutorials, but he hates paint by numbers kits. He claims that they have no sense of color theory and that it takes the originality and fun out of painting. Not to mention the quality of the paints isn’t great to begin with; all of which he takes very seriously.

It’s pretty cute actually, to see him get worked up over the paint kits. He claims that painting and drawing isn’t even something he takes “that seriously,” it’s just a hobby for him (one he’s insanely good at); but in moments like these, you can tell that he’s way more into art and art theory and history than he lets on. 

Huge movie guy, from animated movies to martial arts movies, Jean is usually willingly to give anything a watch at least once. When he’s high, he can go on about his favorite directors and art styles and movie details for hours if you don’t stop him. It’s super cute. Just don’t bring up Moana, because he’ll start crying. 

Arm around the shoulder kind of boyfriend for sure. It’s a casual way of keeping you near him and letting everyone know that you guys are together. Plus it allows for him to easily pull you into him for a quick forehead kiss when needed.

Listen. If you hug his arm, he’s on cloud nine. He tries to be nonchalant about it but he’s about three seconds away from his eyes rolling back in his head it feels that good to him. Bonus if you lean your head on his bicep a little—then he’s a goner.

He takes his bagels very seriously and believes that both you and him deserve nothing but the best quality bagels. He’ll grumble if a bakery gives you guys a less than favorable one and make a note that taking the long route to get to his favorite place is much more worth it.

Always makes you walk on the side furthest from the cars. If he notices you’re not, he’ll just shuffle behind you until he’s shouldering the street and you’re on the inside. 

He grew up on a kind of modern ranch situation; not exactly all the way in the countryside, but not isolate from the city, either. Because of this, he knows how to ride horses, take care of smaller farm animals, tend to plants, and yes he knows how to use a lasso. You wouldn’t know any of that though, because he never ever talks about it. The only way you find out is when he takes you to visit his mom’s house for the first time, and she asks him for a hand around the place. 

(He’s got a cowboy hat, too, but refuses to put it on. He got it when he was, like, nine, okay, leave him alone). 

When he thinks you look tired, he’ll wrap his arms around your shoulders to hug you. It’s usually followed up with a kiss to your head, and a promise that you guys will go home soon and get food on the way. 

He’s a really good cook. He just understands and flavors and pairings really well, so he doesn’t need a recipe to make something that tastes good; he just kind of knows what to add to get the balance he’s looking for. 

Naturally, he’ll cook for you. Especially if he finds out that you haven’t eaten all day/in a long time. He doesn’t care if it’s 11pm and it might seem excessive to make steak and potatoes with a side salad at this hour, he’s gonna do it to make sure you eat, and you are going to sit there and watch. 

He also bakes pretty well, though he isn’t as experimental with his baking as he is with his cooking. He usually sticks to what he knows, and it’s not cupcakes and brownies and cakes; he’s better at croissants, and cheesecakes, and canelés. 

Dating Jean means getting along with his friends. If you guys didn’t know each other before you started dating, be prepared to be ambushed by Connie and Sasha (after Jean stops hiding you away and gives them the green light lmfao). Neither of them waste time with the small talk and formalities; straight into mini golfing and beer pong. They make you feel welcome right away.

Sasha always teases that you’re too good for Jean, and that she might just steal you away for herself some day. Sasha is also Jean’s main confidant, so she really knows just how much he loves you, and yeah, she teases him for being lovesick, but really she’s happy for Jean. And proud of him for facing his feelings like this. 

Connie adores you, and you know he trusts you when he starts going to you for advice/help. Could be anything from schoolwork, to what color he should get his new shoes in. He’s also the one who, surprisingly, you have the sentimental talks with about your relationship with Jean. It’s easy to overlook, but Connie loves Jean, and he’s come to love you too; he just wants you both to be happy, so he’s there to listen when you need it. 

Jean waits outside of your classroom after you’ve had a test or presentation, usually with a drink or a snack, or the promise of taking you out as a treat. Always tells you he’s proud of you, and is there to comfort you if you think you didn’t do too well. 

He does not shut up about whatever major you’re in. It could be the same as his; it could be the complete opposite as his. He thinks it’s so sick that you’re doing it, you make it look cooler, you make it look better, and he’s certain you’re the smartest person in your program. 

He’s pretty serious about his studies, too, so he’s always down to study with you in the library whenever you’re both free. More often than not, he shows up after you, usually with food or extra chargers. He greets you with a kiss on the forehead, and asks you how you are while massaging your shoulders gently. If it’s been a while since you took a break, that’s the first item on the list, after that, he gets to work and stays with you until you’re ready to go, even if he doesn’t have as much work to do. 

He always sits across from you. This goes for when you’re in the library, or out to eat at a restaurant; Jean loves sitting across from you. He gets to see your face the best that way, and he adores looking into your eyes when you talk. 

He’s not... not a morning person. He’s not up at 6am ready to grind, but he wakes up before noon; let’s say 10am is his happy medium. That being said, if you wake up before him, regardless of the time, there’s a 9/10 chance he’ll lay on your back and tell you to hush so you guys can sleep for 10 more minutes. 

If you’re (close) friends with Eren, Mikasa, and Armin, Jean is... happy you’ve got people to rely on, but, “Of all people on the planet, you put your trust in Jaeger?” He acts so bitter (because he is), but deep down inside, he’s glad you have Eren to rely on if you need to. 

(Also, you have to humble him and remind him that he and Eren aren’t all that different. If you like him, why wouldn’t you get along with Eren, bye). 

Turns out though, that it’s not Eren who threatens to beat him up if he breaks your heart. It’s not even Mikasa, although, her threat goes without saying; it’s Armin he’s terrified of.

The last time Armin hated someone, it was this guy in your program, who happened to share a few mutual classes with him, too. Jean never knew the full story, just that he’s pretty sure that kid dropped out the following semester. 

If you have a job on campus, Jean usually doesn’t show up while you’re working (knowing how embarrassed he would be if you did that to him), unless you work the night shift and it’s dead. Connie, however, does show up; usually in some kind of crisis (“Please help me, I don’t know what the fuck APA formatting is and this is due tonight, please, please, please!!”). Your coworkers actually thought Connie was your boyfriend for a minute. That’s when Jean starts showing up more lmfao.

He makes it a point to go on a scheduled, night out, kind of date at least twice a month. He knows life gets busy with school and work and midterms, but he always makes sure you both set side a time to take a well-deserved break and be with each other. 

He’s the romantic type, so these dates are pretty swoon worthy, too. Drive-in movies, nice dinners, classy art exhibits, Jean plans it all. On that note, he really likes planning dates; he just doesn’t like talking about them with his friends beforehand. 

All in all, very romantic, very precious boyfriend. He’s always thinking about you, what you need, and how he can help you out. You’re one of his main priorities, and he just wants to treat you right.