#im gonna be so WRONG with all of tjese 🙃

[pitayatea]

alright im just gonna post my predictions for the rumble early so i don’t forget like ive done previously okay, great. (also this is long sorry!)

asuka & charlotte flair (c) vs shayna baszler & nia jax for the women’s tag team championships: shayna & nia (new champs)

i love asuka. i love charlotte. with that said... they shouldn’t have the titles. they’ve done fuck all with them, they both have their different feuds that don’t concern the titles at ALL, and the raw women's championship has low-key taken a back seat to that over the past few weeks. considering i feel like they’ll give al*xa the title sometime soon, the best move is to fix the titles back to shaynia so they can feud with mandy and dana, charlotte can feud with lacey and ric, and asuka can get a last hurrah with the title before they inevitably have her lose to al*xa.

bonus prediction: lacey and/or rick will come out to cost charlotte specifically.

drew mcintyre (c) vs goldberg for the wwe championship: goldberg (...new champ 🙃)

i want this prediction to be wrong SO BADLY. i don't want goldberg to win. he’s outdated, he can be dangerous, and his time has passed in the ring. he’s got that old-school mindset that the undertaker has, where they long for the days of wrestlers dying at age 40 and bullying other rising stars. he’s repeatedly taken slots from deserving wrestlers for no reason, and for anyone who thought brock was a part-time champ, goldberg is the literal DEFINITION of a part-time champ. we saw it last year pre-covid, and we saw it when he beat kevin owens. he just fucking sucks. and ive p much stated that i think drews reign is boring, even if i like the guy... with all of that in mind... he boosts the ratings, and corporations love ratings. even if it’s not drew’s fault, raw ratings have been down by record amounts, and a corporation is gonna do anything to bring them back up, especially with the recent speculation that usa is gonna host other sports that will compete with wwe for attention. ugh.

roman reigns (c) vs kevin owens for the universal championship in a last man standing match: roman reigns (c)

it’s ROMAN REIGNS. do i gotta explain this one? this man is not losing this early in his reign.

sasha banks (c) vs carmella for the smackdown women's championship: sasha banks (c)

PLEASE GIVE SASHA A LONG TITLE REIGN. no one wants to see her drop it to carmella...

30-men royal rumble for a championship opportunity at wrestlemania 37:

first choice: keith lee

first, if drew wins, keith is the perfect person to dethrone him imo. fresh talent, with fan support... he has the opportunity to be a major star if he gets a good title reign. on the other hand, if goldberg wins... i do low-key wanna see keith demolish goldberg in under two minutes... for the economy...

second choice: edge

i know i preach about new superstars getting a chance but let me be a hypocrite for a second... edge supremacy in 2021... all i'm sayin is imagine edge vs reigns at wm37... dream match material right there.

third choice: jey uso

IT’D BE INTERESTING. it’d be interesting to see jay win and watch the struggle to see if he should branch out and go to raw so he doesn’t have to face roman, or if he should turn on his cousin and challenge for the championship (and maybe even win it for a brief run?). it’d be interesting. plus reigns vs uso is always a banger so i wanna see reigns v uso iii.

bonus!fourth choice: jimmy uso

I want the bloodline. gimme the bloodline. let jimmy lose at mania and give. me. the. bloodline.

30-women royal rumble for a championship opportunity at wrestlemania 37:

first choice: bianca belair

this is the year of belair. she’s got the star power, she’s got the fan support, she’s got the talent, and she’s got the entire wrestling world’s attention (even if the attention isn’t great, *cough cough* madi wrenkowski *cough cough*). she seems like a clear winner to me. they can’t continue this bayley feud forever, no matter how entertaining, and it’s time to put her in title contention as a mainstay of the smackdown roster. i will be extremely surprised if bianca doesn’t win here.

second choice: naomi

look, it’s out of left field... but give naomi her shot. it’s been years since she’s held a title, she’s got the fan support and the talent, she blows up on twitter every time she returns because everyone legitimately adores her even if they don’t watch wrestling. she had mainstream celebs, who don’t watch wwe and didn't know her previously, wanting to see her succeed. i really want to see them take advantage of that for once, but this is probably a long-shot pick.

third choice: alexa bliss

i don’t want alexa to win please don’t let alexa win, i would legitimately rather see ronda return and win it all... but i feel like they’re setting her up for a win.

bonus!rumble predictions:

charlotte, peyton, and lacey are all eliminated within a one-minute period. charlotte eliminates peyton, lacey takes the opportunity to eliminate charlotte, and either charlotte pulls lacey over with her or someone takes advantage of lacey’s gloating to throw her over.

naomi returns and blows up social media again, promptly gets ignored by wwe if she doesn’t win until halfway through the year. she deserves better.

omos eliminates someone, possibly to save aj from elimination.

billie kay either saves a member of the riott squad from elimination, or causes a member of the riott squad to be eliminated.

r truth gets eliminated the fastest from some 24/7 shenanigans.

they tease a fiend reappearance but it doesn’t pan out and it’s just alexa messing with randy to cause his elimination.

none of the teased bt sport entrants actually show up and it turns out we're all booboo the fool 🤡.