#im going to kill people. oh my fucking god. you’re telling me it cost almost 10 fucking dollars just to order a fucking transcript

[peachcitt]

girls when they have to apply for a job

[twink-frank]

hi i’ve noticed the pencey prep gay conversation going on over on @awsugar and i have spent lots of time dissecting pencey prep lyrics and subjecting nathan @faggot-frank to my deranged ramblings so Here is my pencey prep super ultra mega gay lyrical analysis masterpost. it’s very long so its all under the cut but i will include a TL;DR for those who dont wanna read paragraphs of my deranged ramblings: Pencey prep uses lots of themes of: heartbreak, forbidden love, keeping love a secret, and toxic relationships. which none of that is gay on its own but combined with them almost never using gender indicators in their songs and the “nail in the coffin song” of 8th grade it ends up being a very Fruity Album.

I will be going through heart break in stereo in order and pointing out which lyrics and elements of certain songs jump out to me as Super Mega Gay and then summarizing my conclusions at the end <3

1 ) PS Don't Write

PS don't write is about leaving a toxic relationship, it has notes of moving on and leaving someone behind. "packed up all my shit / stole back all my tapes / left your spare key under the mat / this is not a joke / you'd better learn to take a hint / 'cause i'm not coming back / maybe you'll understand / when you're waking up alone / in a cold and empty bed." it has no gender indicators or pronouns which is the case in a lot of pencey prep songs, and something i'll bring up quite a bit. it also has general "coming of age" themes, something common in lots of pencey prep songs. which Yeah apply to straight people to but read in this context combined with future evidence can be pretty Fuckin Gay. "somewhere along the line / i found a hidden strength / i didn't know i had / standing on my own / cutting all the strings / that you used to control / surprise surprise / i am long gone / if you thought you could hold me down / by holding me up / you were wrong / you don't call the shots anymore." not to say only gay people can find inner strength and the room to love themselves but combined with other context it is a really poignant message about accepting yourself for who you are.

2) Yesterday

Yesterday is very repetitive and has a lot less to analyze, but the constant themes of wanting to "run away" strike me as very Fruity. once again, not saying gay people are the only people who can want to run away or escape from something But Combined With Other Context. and once again a song with no gender indicators, doesnt specify who the speaker is running away with or what they are running away from. just that they want to Leave. "i wanna run with you / i don't care what we do / gotta get out of this place / because it feels like yesterday." also saying "it feels like yesterday" could mean that the town feels backwards or old timey in its beliefs, implying homophobia. how the speaker wants to run away from an old fashioned town.

3) Don Quixote

i'm going to bring up the cultural significance of this title and literary reference first. Don Quixote is a classical novel by Cervantes which is about a crazy dude who thinks he's a knight, and goes on weird adventures with his best friend. It's typically used as a symbol of following your dreams and breaking free from what people expect of you. In the context of the song its used as a symbol of following your dreams with Someone. once again this someone is given no gender indicators. "you say it's not worth it / been burned too many times / if your spine's receding / you can borrow some of mine / don't go and quit right now / cause i'd follow you through hell." "you say so many things / and not a word of it was true / if you're still in that state of mind / i'd still vacation inside of you / cause i think you're worth every minute / and every dime that i spend / i'd spend all my time fighting dragons / just to keep you alive and talking." it's about wanting to spend time with someone, wanting to be with them no matter what. and its also about how this person feels unreachable, like being with them would be a fairytail but the speaker Still Reaches for it. "your imaginations running wild / round your deceptive heart / this is my crusade / and you're the unreachable star / but i'm reaching." talking about this person being unreachable and unattainble. which isnt gay By Itself  but again combined with the other context. FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

4) 10 Rings

another breakup song once again with no gender indicators, are you guys sensing a theme here? anyways this song is about someone cutting you off and then coming back suddenly wanting to talk again after breaking your heart. it has a sense of forbidden love, like this person Told the speaker they cant be together for Whatever Reason ;] and is now trying to come back and repair their mistake when the speaker is already hurt and reeling. "learn to live with decisions you make / i learned things from the break i can't forget / catch you doing drive-bys at 1 AM / it must kill you to know we can't be friends." "end of the summer you cut me off / i cut you out all the pictures i have." which this Isnt Gay By Itself. but bringing that phrase back with other context this is such a uniquely gay experience. being in love with someone and they cut you off Because theyre weirded out by that and then they try to come back, convince you it meant nothing.

5) The Secret Goldfish

my FAVORITE pencey song. this one has a lot. it's another breakup song about heartbreak and loss and im not even gonna dwell on the no gender indicators because yall see the theme now. it has themes of heartbreak and losing someone who is very close to you and having to let go of them and having to accept that this person cant be yours and you cant be with them. "land of the lost / i found myself in nothing / this time, promises broken find me / clutching to you for something / something that you're not / believing in what you say / it makes me lie awake at night / the truth, the truth is not what scares me / it's why you have to lie / all the time." here we see these themes of having to let someone go because they just Aren't The Same as you. "clutching to you for something / something that you're not." maybe like chasing after a straight boy and getting rejected? also the repetition of "heartbreak is forever" when you're young and gay losing that first person you felt some kind of love and attraction to can feel like the end of the world and can be a huge deal because of the lack of representation and guidance young gays get. and the themes of nothing lasting forever, the fact that gay people never get promised eternal love the same way straight people do.

6) 8th Grade

this song is the nail in penceys fucking coffin honestly. the rest of these songs have a lot of plausible deniability, just vague enough to maybe Not Be Gay. but framed in the context of 8th grade they all start to get a lil fruity. Im just gonna go through lyric by lyric for this one. "caught staring again / like a deer in the headlights / when you can't move fast enough / i take a hit for the team / pretty girl is blushing / i can't tell if she's disgusted / laughter starts to swell / someone gets the joke." this kid was staring at some cute boy ass and got caught and everyone is laughing at him for being gay. the "pretty girl" here is what most people think he's staring at but with the rest of the song it's obvious she's not the one he's looking at. "bells ring, i make my escape / helps a little, but doesn't save / beat downs a common thing / with us every day / maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools / so maybe i like the abuse / or maybe i just like you." literally This is the nail in penceys fucking coffin. "maybe i like the abuse or maybe i just like you." this kid purposefully takes beatings from his bully who is Obviously male if you take into context the next verse. because he Likes Him. "maybe im just strange / cause i dont change schools" literally willingly taking beatings from his bully bc he has a crush. "another confrontation / you've got something to prove / your girl can't tell how tough you are / when you beat me up in the boys room." this just confirms that the subject of the song is a boy, and a tough macho boy with something to prove. maybe also hiding his own internalized homophobia through bullying? "well i made a big mistake / but i can't help who i like / this may not cost my life / but i am branded forever lame." LITERALLY ITS RIGHT IN YOUR FACE. "can't help who i like" "branded forever lame" do i even need to fucking explain this oh my god. he got outed as gay, he Can't Help Who He Likes and is now branded forever as "the gay kid." the rest of the song is general "im gonna get back at my bully" stuff but literally THIS. THIS is the song that brands all penceys other very vague songs as 100% verified super mega ultra gay.

7) 19

this song has a lot less, and is more about internal struggle than anything. but it is the only song with a "she" pronoun in it. but there is one thing i wanna mention. "I scream out loud / but no one hears a sound / i take my life with lack of sleep / i believe the things i feel / the things i see are fooling only me." this song is about not believing what the world shows you, believing what you think is true in your heart and what You feel. not what anyone else tells you. which is a gay experience. believing in yourself and your heart and your feelings, believing theyre right and theyre true and valid. Also this song has a significance in coming right after 8th grade on the album, going from being 13 to 19, from being unsure in your feelings and angry about the people who dont like you to lost and hopeless but somewhat grounded in yourself.

8) Trying To Escape The Inevitable

this song is about an abusive and toxic relationship, knowing you Need to escape it but being so infatuated with the person you literally cant. “i have this reoccurring dream / you make it hard for me to breathe / i gave you everything i could / i gave up everything i owned / and when you smile it’s not for me / you offer little sympathy / your grasp so far exceeds your reach / i wake up, this is not a dream.” “i have this reoccuring dream / where you admit that you’re not happy / i know that you will never leave / you’re here just to torment me.” which like again this isnt an exclusively gay experience but it is very interesting when framed that way. in that gay people are way more likely to throw themselves into abusive and toxic relationships because they dont feel like they can get anybody else. the repetition of “i know i should run” makes it seem like the speaker Knows he should get out but he just Cant because what if he never finds love again? and the little reprise in the middle “i have a new dream / and everything is perfect / the sky is pink, yellow, green, blue, and orange / and all the past has been forgotten / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and we fell in love / and i fell into your trap.” implying that even if he escapes, even in his dreams he still falls for this person because he feels like he cant have anything else.

9) Lloyd Dobbler

another love song about wanting to have someone but not being able to because of Unspecified Forbidden Reasons. “why are you so far away / even when you’re standing next to me? / your eyes give you away / telling secrets your mouht don’t feel like talking.” falling in love with someone, maybe sensing that they like you too. that they Are Like You and that they have a Secret they dont want to vocalize. do i even need to explain it at this point? and in the chorus “That I’ll be your lloyd dobbler / with a boom box out in the street / and i’ll be there if you need someone / even if he isn’t me.” saying you’ll be there for someone even if that person isn’t you, also the use of Pronouns which is big for pencey prep. which yes the use of “even if he isnt me” could imply a straight girl ooorrr....Fruit Behavior. also this line “There’s a norman rockewll painting / of two kids sitting on a bench / it reminds me of all the stupid things / i’d like for us to share, but i dont care.” normal rockwell is a painter that paints traditionally “american” scenes. like the american ideal, that maybe he wants with this person. but he knows he cant have, but its stupid and domestic and he wants it but he Cant Have It because of FRUIT BEHAVIOR.

10) Florida Plates

another of my favorite pencey songs, and this one brings back those tragic “love but we cant have it” themes, except with a more somber tone. instead of being angry or resentful or spiteful in the face of adversity. its an Acceptance, of what they had and how good it was and how it just Cant Last. “kiss a mouth to open eyes / stall one last moment before goodbye / drive in different cars in different directions / never write all the letters full of good words, better intentions / it’s for the best although we don’t know it / paper words will cheapen the moments we shared / it’s better if i say nothing at all.” it’s about knowing you have to leave someone, even if having them in the moment is great they Can’t Stay and you can’t even talk or write about the moments you had. which do i even need to explain it at this point? forbidden love, not being able to have each other, not even being able to Talk about it. its a secret, and painful one but its beautiful while you have it. Conclusion alright!!! thank you so so much if you read all the way through that i Know it was long i Know it was a lot of repetition but i wanted to make my point. pencey prep has very big gay themes in their music. with forbidden love, letting go, heartbreak, keeping secrets, toxic realtionships. which none of it is gay on its own but in the context of: almost none of the songs having clear gender indicators and always speaking really vaguely about the subject and Eight Grade the “nail in the coffin song” you can see my point thank you and goodnight.

[johnismyreason]

Hell on Earth (TWO) // KOH!TOMHOLLAND X HUMAN!READER

Summary: Tom, Prince of Hell and only heir to the throne, is sent to Earth by his parents as a punishment. He ends up in an odd city full of the worst humans, except one, who, despite not knowing who he truly is, decides to help him.

Note: Well, well, well... It’s been a while. I’m sorry but a lot of things happen and honestly I wasn’t in the mood to write anything. Anyways, I hope I didn’t loose everyone was reading the first part of this Koh!Tom series. Let me know what you thought and if you have ideas for next chapters. And send me an ask to be added to the taglist :) Love you ! 

words: 2.3k

Warnings: panic attack, cursing, fluff-ish?, bad english bc im french 

First part

Tom was so nervous. How the hell was he going to tell you where he is from. He doesn’t have much time to think about it, since you seat in front of him. “Here you go” you said, placing the tuna sandwich and a cup of coffee before his hands. Seating down, you create a slight draft, giving Tom the chance to breath your smell. Honey and apple. Not too sugary, not too strong but present enough to be under your spell for a spilt second. 

“Thank you” Tom said taking a bite in the sandwich. The taste of tuna on his tongue repulses him but he fakes a smile “’S really good” he lied his mouth full, before swallowing with a hard gulp. 

“I’m glad you like it” you smile back laying down a bit, your elbow on the table and your hand in a fist holding your chin. “So... what’s going on, Tom ?” the sound of his name on your lips makes it hard for him to concentrate. It almost sounds like a prayer or a blessing, instead of the curse he always heard when his father called him. 

“Right,” closing his eyes and shaking his head, Tom tried to regain his composure “Um, here’s the thing. I don’t have anywhere to go. My parents kind of kicked me out” You blinked a few times trying to process what he just said. You’re surprised and shocked, you didn’t expect that at all. 

“What ? W-why ?” you let your hand that was supporting your head, fall on the table, a few inches from his. 

“Uh...” now is the tricky part. Tom has to think fast but coherent. "I was not the best son” he confessed. By the confused look on your face, the prince of Hell understood that it wasn’t enough of an explanation “I- uh. I didn’t take my responsibilities seriously and partied too much. So I fucked up everything.” Tom felt shame thinking about the look on his parents’ faces before being banned. “Basically, if I want to come back home, I have to change. Like, everything about me must be changed” Tom let his head fall forward, to avoid your gaze. 

His head snapped back up when he felt your reassuring hand on his wrist, the veins of his heart loosened at the sight of your compassionate smile. 

“I’m sure not everything is good to put in the bin” you said softly. 

“How would you know ?” Tom almost whispered. “You don’t know me”

“I can see it. The good.” you replied pointing at his heart. “You’re just lost. You’ve done some mistakes, what about it ? A few of them doesn’t make you a bad person. We're not perfect. We’re just humans after all.”

“I’m not-” Tom cut himself from dropping his secret. But it hit him. We’re all humans. He’s human now. The loss of his powers, the bangs in his head after drinking the whole night away,... His parents made him human. Suddenly, Tom feels a rush of panic invading him. He starts looking around nervously, his palms become clammy and his madness takes control. Fuck, is what being human feels like ? Feeling weak and pathetic ? Succumbing to the unreasonable and to our every perfidious feelings ? 

“Tom ?” you brung him back, your eyebrows furrowed. “Is everything ok ?” 

The young boy’s wide opened eyes stare at you, scrutinising every detail of your face. Every stain, every barely formed line and indentation, every curve. Everything and anything that makes you... human. 

“No.” he blurbed out, by freeing himself from your hand, which until now had reassured him but now made him feel like a prisoner. “I gotta go...” and with that, Tom stood up abruptly and left the coffee shop. 

“Tom wait !” you tried to stop him, but he’s fast. 

Tom sets off into the city, looking for a way home at all costs, even though he knows it's impossible. He bumps into things and people who then insult him for not paying attention without apologizing. He wants to cross the street and run away. He gets off the pavement and takes two steps when a van runs into him. Surprised, Tom holds still until a hand grabs his arm and pulls him back, causing him to fall with the person who saved him. It was you. Is she always going to save my life like that ?

Lying next to each other and trying to come to your senses, your breasts rise and fall in rhythm with your twin breaths. You turn your head towards him, the asphalt slightly scratching your scalp. His face is still tense but it hasn't changed. He is still beautiful, elegant, almost mischievous. His curls fall backwards against the ground and you notice the touch of red in his reflections. My God, how beautiful he is.

“Do you often have panic attacks ?” Tom's face gradually relaxes at the sound of your voice. But what frees him from the anxiety monster inside of him, is your laughter. Your sweet giggle. He almost killed you both, but you're laughing. Lying on the floor in the filthy street next to him. 

“I’m so sorry...” 

“Don’t be” you replied getting up. You then hold your hand for him to take it. “Come on, let’s go home” you smiled, putting the almost tragic incident that just happened behind you. Tom takes your hand and pushes himself off the ground with your help. 

“Home ?” he asked confused without letting your hand go.

“Yeah, I mean at my place. You’re going to live there until you... um... change.” you pressed your lips in a tight but friendly smile accompanied by a small puff. That’s when he doesn’t understand anymore. 

“Why are you doing this for me ?” he asks sinking in the back of his chair. “You don’t know me, I could be a sociopath !” or the prince of Hell. 

“Well, First of all I don’t think that sociopaths know they are socipaths. And when they do, I also don’t think it’s something they want to scream everywhere.” you replied standing in front of him, your fists of your hips. “And two: It’s you who came to my shop and ask for my help. And it’s not like you have somewhere to crash, don’t you ?” you titled your head to the side as if you were playfully challenging him. Tom grinned a little, trying to hide his hint of embarrassment  “But if you prefer, we can always find you a piece of cardboard that we will set you up in a not too badly famed alleyway, you'll love it, it’s-”

“Ok, alright you won !” Tom cut you placing his palms in defeat. “Hell, are you always like that ?” he chuckled. You just smiled cheekily and shrugged your shoulders. You took his arm and started walking. 

You didn’t live far from the bakery, only 10 minutes walking, which was very pratical since, before going to the bakery, you followed classes at university and had to go change at your place before going to work. You led Tom to your appartment. The building was far from the ivory towers in which Tom had grown up. Yours was much more dilapidated, with a cold cigarette smell in the stairwell that you asked him not to pay attention to. Ms. McDougall had never learned good manners, and enjoyed smoking in the small lobby. 

After going up the three floors without a lift, of course, you stop in front of the door of your flat to open it. “I wasn’t expecting someone today, so please forgive me for the old tea cups in the kitchen... and the living. And probably in the bathroom.”

“The bathroom ?” repeated Tom. 

“Yeah. Don’t ask. I don’t have any excuse” you chuckled finding your keays at the bottom of your bag. “Ok. Here you go !” you invited him in with your arm extended so he can enter first. Tom thanked you before walking in, discovering your small but cozy place. 

There was a main room which served as kitchen, dining room and living room. The black sofa in front of the television looked comfortable and could be folded out to make a bed. There was also a coffee table with books for the university, the remote control, chocolates, a cherry blossom scented candle and two mugs. A garland of light framed the window overlooking the street. The neighbourhood was not pretty, but at least it was quiet. Just like the flat which was very cozy. Tom already felt good there. 

You took off your jacket and your bag and started to tidy up the room quickly. Tom looked at you with an amused smile. He looked how a few strands of hair fell on your face as you pick up the mugs out of the table and put them in the sink; and how your hands worked quickly to collect your books. 

“What do you study ?” Tom asked pointing to your books that you held close to your chest. 

“I am studying to become a nurse” you responded with a soft smile. “My finals are in three weeks.” 

“Oh, that’s a noble job” said Tom, immediatly regreting sounding condescendin. “I mean, it’s a great one ! Better than selling sandwiches and croissants.” When he saw your lips thightening and your eyes squinting, he held his hands in front of you, trying to catch back his mistake “No, I mean, working in a bakery is great, it’s just... being a nurse is better for you !” 

“How would you know what’s better for me ?” you teased. Tom felt his palms sweating and his cheeks redenning. You got him. 

Why does he react like that ? He was prince of Hell, and soon - hopefully - king, for fuck’s sake ! He’s used to people being affraid of him and his powers. Used to spill his venom on any creature, human or not, using harsh, insulting and degrading names, without the shadow of an ounce of embarrassment. That's what he did. To be the cursed prince of Hell. The beloved child of death and eternal torture. 

But with you it’s different. You are different. He feels deeply in his soul, that he would never use these words on you. You had a force on him that he couldn’t explain. 

“I-I... I don’t, yeah you’re right. Sorry, I didn’t want to-” he stopped when he heard your light giggle. 

“Tom, I was joking. I understood what you meant, I just wanted to mess you with. Selling sandwiches is great but it isn’t my professional perspective. Sorry for making you uncomfortable, that was dumb.”

“No, no, no ! It’s fine. It’s just a joke.” he puffed. What ?! In Hell, he would have sent the fool who dared messing up with him, in the worst session of torture of his entire eternity. 

You smiled to him before heading to your bedroom, throwing your books on your bed. You came back with a blanket and a very soft looking pillow. You then walked to the bathroom with a new toothbrush and clean towel. 

“My brother lived here for a while a couple of years ago and left clothes. You can take whatever you want, he’s not gonna come back.” 

“Where is he now ?” you felt a hiver running through your body at the thought of him. 

“I don’t know. Aaron never felt like he belongged in this society, that he had nothing to bring to the community. So he wanted to join the army. They know how to talk to kids who feel like him. Telling them that their lives will save thousands of others. I told him it would be the biggest mistake of his life, that he’s smart and talented but he didn’t want to hear anything. So he left one day, and I never saw him again.” It was the first time you talked about your brother in two years. You felt tears threatening to fall. “I don’t even know if he’s still alive.” you choked on the last word, unable to bear the very idea that he may no longer be of this world. 

Tom looked at you not knowing what to do. He tried to remember an Aaron who would have gone to hell. The Prince has the ability to know all the deaths that fall and the division of souls between heaven and hell. This means that he knows every name, story and sin that enters his kingdom. Unfortunately, without his powers on Earth, he cannot know whether his brother is alive or not. 

“Y/N, I’m sorry,” he murmured before clearing his throat. “I’m sure he’ll come back one day.” You raised your head with a heart-rending smile, trying hard to hide your pain. 

“He’s in the past now. Let’s talk about something else.” You entered the kitchen, looking for something to eat, but you forgot to go to the grocery store today. Well, you didn’t really forgot, your plans just... changed a bit. “Um... I have nothing in my fridge and clearly I don’t want to grocery shopping right now, so is chinese take away is fine with you ?” 

“Perfect !” He never ate chinese food. 

“Great ! I’ll just call my favorite place after taking a shower” you said walking backwards to your bathroom. 

When Tom heard the water running, he fell on the couch dramtically. His legs spread and his right hand on his forhand he stared into the void, trying to process what happened those two last days. Him being banned from Hell for an indefinite period almost dead two times on the road, loosing his powers, and ending up living in an girl’s appartment. Tom sighed loudly, wondering how all of this could happen to the fucking prince of Hell. 

And now what ? 

________________________________________________________________

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[mizuritamanami]

What Goes Unseen

Linked Universe Time Warriors and Legend angst to sort of fluff?

They all have secrets. That much is a given, and sort of hard to miss, given the way Four clams up when asked about his moods, how often Wild has to just... stop and leave and come back to himself when they pass ruins sometimes, or the way Twilight vanishes without a trace to go off doing Hylia only knew what. 

And that wasn't even touching on the walking enigmas Time and Legend could be, so sure. They all have their secrets. Even bubbly Wind and soft spoken Sky. Secrets, secrets everywhere, in plain view or otherwise. 

But something about Wild’s Hyrule has been eating away at Warriors for weeks. Enough that Legend has even noticed his change in mood, his disinterest in most of the things he normally jumped at. 

Enough that the veteran adventurer surprises him by pulling him aside to talk in the guise of a patrol, enough that he wears Warriors down with enough pointless questions that the knight just explodes to ask him what the hell it is he wants.

"Somethings been on your mind for almost a month. You're starting to scare the old man," Legend says bluntly, "I didn't think you could top that "launch tree into bokoblin camp and rain fire from above" heart attack you gave him, but here we are. What gives?" 

For a moment, Warriors just stares at him, because firstly, how dare he insinuate that that plan hadn't worked perfectly outside of the landing, and secondly, since when did you pay that much attention to me?

He huffs. 

"I'm fine."

"Uh. No." 

Worth a try, anyway, Warriors thinks, turning away from the scrutinizing eyes of the young man across from him. 

Legend notes the way his fingers dig into the blue cloth around his neck, and sighs, gesturing to a fallen log. 

"Sit," he says, "tell me whats bothering you. If its got you like this, it warrants a serious talk, without pretense."

"Didn't know you knew such fancy words."

"Don't make me take it back and kick you in the shins."

Warriors has to laugh at that at least a little, so he sits, as instructed, and watches Legend plop unceremoniously into the mix of leaflitter, pine nettles, and flower petals on the forest floor. 

He's still fidgeting with the scarf, and the words come slowly at first, then frantic and almost angry. 

"My mother used to tell me, you know.... that there are stories, in the absences. In what we don't see. And- the more I look around, the more I see you- all of you- in Wild's Hyrule. Goddess, you're all everywhere.... but-.... out of the nine of us, there are only eight call backs. Even Wild's got his own legends already. So I can't help but wonder--..."

"Where you are."

"Where I went! What happened? Did- did I fail, somehow? Did I do something wrong? There's nothing left that says I ever even existed!"

"You existed to us. To Wild, to me, and Time, and Twi and the others. Between all of us, there's no denying that you were here."

Legend realizes belatedly that he's only just barely fended off a fit of sobs from the knight, and counts himself lucky and also gives himself a brownie point or three for the save, just before he recognizes the familiar thwacking and tramping of bronze armor against offending tree branches and leather boots on forest floor somewhere behind him.

He feels the heat come through his voice before he can stop the words from coming out of his mouth. 

"Besides, you didn't completely fuck a timeline, then leave another to Ganon for seven whole years, now did you? Too busy cleaning up other people's messes."

Time froze as his foot settled on the line of the clearing they were in, and the pregnant silence in the moment it took him to school his voice into something normal made Warrior's skin crawl it was so uncomfortable. 

"..... T-There you boys are.... Twilight was--.... he was getting worried. I'll tell him you just .... stopped for a break."

He turned on his heel in a perfect about face that made Warriors knight-side a little jealous, but the rest of him looked to Legend, who was avoiding the direction Time had gone entirely. Realization dawned a moment after.

"......... that was cruel, Legend..... I didn't want you to make me feel better if you were just going to tear him down. Or tell his secrets."

"...... if I'm honest Wars? That last jab was more for my sake than yours."

"What?"

"Whose timeline do you think his failure ruined?"

The sharp intake of breath on Warriors part told Legend he'd picked up on all the appropriate cues. 

".... that's one of my secrets, for spilling his to you, I guess. I don't know if I'm ever gonna be able to forgive him. But hey, since when has Hylia ever cared what we thought? Probably hasn't since Sky...... the point is, you aren't a failure for having to pick up after everyone else, and then not getting thanked for it. You're like that with all of us, too. Constantly doing things hoping someone will at the least notice. I noticed. All of us have. You're a goddamn hero, same as the rest of us, and the only reason your scarf isn't locked up in a chest out here somewhere is probably because you wouldn't part with that thing if it cost you your freaking soul or something. Duh."

Its quiet for a moment, and Warriors takes the time to look down at the blue around his neck a moment before smiling.  

"..... you should apologize to Old Father Time.... but you're right.  I guess its still all in the things you don't see at first glance- I never would have thought you a confidant. You might find out some interesting things about him if you sat like you did with me."

"Id rather eat one of Wild's disgusting potions made out of butterflies and lizalfos."

"Don't jinx yourself, Vet." 

"Shut up."

~~~~~

Legend was going to murder Warriors.

Don't jinx yourself my ass, you set this up, you sorry-- he cut his own thoughts off to hiss under his breath.

Not only was Legend laid up with Time looking out for him as first watch, but he'd had to drain four of those nasty freaking potions. 

"I hate. Lightning. So much."

Normally, that would have earned him a chuckle, or at least a sympathetic hum.

But Time just turned his head towards a darker section of the underbrush that Legend knew for sure he absolutely could not see anything in. 

Was it the being ignored or the uncertainty and hurt in Time's expression that made his stomach twist? 

"I said--" 

"I heard you, Legend. I'm sorry, I didn't think you wanted to speak to me." 

"...... oh..." 

The simple acceptance of Legend's earlier ire pulled all of the heat right out from under him, and he deflated some into his bedroll. 

"........ I am sorry.... I know it doesn't mean much to you, but... I am. Even the sword didn't think I was good enough, and judging by your reaction, it was probably right."

Legend winced. 

"What kind of bullshit cop-out is that? The sword doesn't make you a damn hero, it just points and grabs like a stupid claw game."

"Success, does, then. And that is a baton I clearly didn't pass to you, that I missed out on passing down peace..... it eats at me, some nights when I can't sleep, that I still managed to grasp at straws and hold so tight to so much good that I got to keep it. And I doomed you. I have everything and you were left wanting." 

Legend stared at his back, the way he bent around the biggoron sword leaning into his right shoulder to be drawn if need be by his left hand. 

"Im afraid I'm going to lose it all one day because I failed you so badly."

"I'm not that pitiful."

"Legend-"

"Look, I'm fine--"

"What was her name, Legend?" 

The air left Legends lungs in a sudden, sharp breath. 

"..... That's what I thought..."

"...... you were ten, if that..... yes, it sucks, and time travel is a pain, but you were fucking ten. Hylia sent a ten year old, let his tree mentor die right in front of him, and then continued to traumatize- REPEATEDLY traumatize- a child. Yes, I'm angry. Bitter and jaded, even. But don't you dare get so self important that you start thinking the blame fits on your shoulders. You're an old fucking man, not a god."

"Interesting choice of words...."

"No. No, because you're just gonna start unloading more trauma. If this is about that creepy mask, then no. That doesn't count either!"

"You're awfully concerned about this particular issue.... alright, I'll let it drop--"

"No, you ten year old little brat in a mentally fifty year olds achy jointed body, you're gonna go the fuck to sleep and stop moping. Its my turn to take watch and I'll be damned if I have to sit up watching you get all weepy into your pillow and trying to snitch Wild's slate to call your wife at two in the goddamn morning. Go to bed!"

Time stared at him in surprise, (the ten year old in him in question seriously debating biting the finger wagging in front of his nose) before Legends phrasing hit him. 

"Oh, I’m going to absolutely kill Warriors for telling you about how I was when we met."

"Brat! Bed! Bounce to it, bunny hat kid!"

"You are the last person--"

"Bed!"

"Alright! Alright! Fine! You're lucky I don't fit those masks anymore," Time muttered, picking himself up off the stump to go peel off his armor and crawl into his bedroll. He was silent as Legend pulled himself into the space he'd emptied, then sighed and smiled. 

"..... thank you, Vet." 

"Yeah yeah yeah. Go to sleep before you wake up Twilight. He has ears like a fucking wolfhou---....... oh my goddess you're kidding me."

"Shhh."

"Goddess I hate you sometimes." 

Warriors, apparently woken by the hissing through Legends teeth, chuckled to himself. 

Its all in the things you don't see, I guess, he thinks.

Secrets secrets, everywhere, but.... together, we're all still here for each other. I can live with that. 

"Good night bratty bunny and feral bunny."

Two furious choruses of "HEY!" were the perfect lullaby for Warriors to drop right back off to sleep. 

Yeah...

He could definitely live with that.

[sapphicomenn]

WELCOME TO MY THOUGHTS WHILE REWATCHING THE MCU IN TIMELINE ORDER: THOR

it was a dark and stormy night when padme, an old man, and a beautiful nerd named darcy a find bright light in the sky with thunder and s giant tornado in it. AND CHRIS HEMSWORTH HOLY SHIT

STORYTELLING WITH ODIN ABOUT A FIGHT WITH ICE CREAM TROLLS. frosty the snow man is angry about it

GLOWY CUBE

agard. sounds like ass guard. baby thor and loki are adorable. story telling ended up being fairytail for children. WINGED HELMET

LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI LOKI

ah yes. the hammer named MILJinoNOR made in the heart of a star. ohshit walls got frosty. AMBUSH

“i swear, i swear, i sWEAR!” SHUSH IT AND GET TO FIGHTING. YALL GOT FROSTY BOYS INVADING ASS GUARD- oh fuck eye beam giant is OP.

thor is bloodthirsty, thats how you get the plot of the movie when you get turned mortal :/

loki is lovely i love him. he will never ever ever do anything wrong- oh hes starting drama between thor and frosty boys

WHOMST THE FUCK ARE THESE PEOPLE??

“and who proved wrong that a young maiden could be one of the fiercesr warriors.” “i did” “true, but i supported you, sif.” JSHSKHSKSJSKSJSJ

HORSES ON THE GLITTER GLASS BRIDGE. this is all beautiful wtf i love asgard. HEIMDALL- thor stfu dont shut loki down ya fucker. yall are bullying loki and then get shocked he turns evil?

MAGIC SWORD IS THE KEY TO ALL THE REALMS. HAHA ROUND THINGY GO SPINNY SPINNY. heimdall tells em the bridge to frosty realm might fuck em over and leave em to die.

“we shouldnt be here.” MAYBE BRING THAT UP AT THE PLANNING BIT, NOT THE ‘WE’RE HERE LETS GO EXPLORE’ BIT. DEEP VOICE IS SMEXY AS FUCK

“You’re nothing but a boy. who came to prove hinself a man.”

“know your place. brother.” STOP BEING MEAN TO LOKI, THOR :(

HAMMER GO B O N K ON FROSTY BOYS SKSNSKSKSK

LOKIS MAGIC IS AMAZING YOU’RE DOING GREAT BBY- laughing during a sword fight because fuck every other emotion righ- OHSHIT NVM HE GOT IMPALED ON A SPIKE OF ICE

GIANT SNOW BEAST GO BRRRR. THUNDER ON THESE FROST COVERED ASSES- whY is he still laughing he got a spike through his chest what the hell dude you good?

HOLYSHIT THOR JUST CHUCKED MILNNOR THROUGH THE BEASTS FUCKING HEAD LIKE A KNIFE THROUGH BUTTER

ODIN TO SAVE THE DAY AND GET HIS CHILDS ASS OUT OF TROUBLE. thor started a fucking war because of this fightboner jesus christ this child. SHOUTING MATCHES

daddys angry with his child- thor is unworthy this, unworthy that. AND BANISHED TO EARTH LIKE A FUCKING LOSER SKSHSKSJSJ

and back to padme’s modern time wE GO

HA HE GOT MERKED BY A TAZER

DARCY YOU ADORABLE CHILD

“How dArE YOu aTtAcK tHE SoN oF oDIN😡😡😡” hes like an angry puppy

body in a photo?? pog info??? WHY HAS HE BEEN HIT BY A CAR TWICE ALREADY

STAN LEE

COULSON

THOR IS FUCKING RIPPED. meanwhile is ass guard. loki snitched for a good reason. but nOoOoO thors, friends, blame loki.WHY ARE THEY BLAMING LOKI FOR BRING IN THE FROSTY BOYS- oh shit he can controll the snow cube. backstory for loki? mayhaps?- HOLYSHIT HES A SMURF

“the casket wasnt the only thing you took from jotunheim that day, was it?” HES ONTO YOU ODIN. odin literally kidnapped- oh no nvm loki as a baby was left for dead. I WANNA HUG LOKI SO BAD HES IN EMOTINAL DISSTRESS :(

“because i-i-i’m the monster, parents tell their children about at night?” LOKI BABY EVERYTHINGS GONNA BE OKAY

holyshit loki’s breakdown killed odin wtf. my man collasped onto the staircase

“this drink. i like it.” “i know its gre-“ “ANOTHER! *SHATTERING GLASS*”

“myeu muh? whats a myeu muh?” DARCY I LOVE YOU SO MUCH SKSHSKHSKS

man coulson thats a dick move to snatch up all of padmes shit- AND DARCYS IPOD???

loki do be looking snazzy on the throne👀 good for him. look at these fucker friends of thor tryna make him inbanish thor :/

BOOKS- on norse myth.? yeah norse myth

padme is sus of thor, and almost got em into a car crash. “god i hope you’re not crazy.” oh wait till you aee what happens

ODINS TAKING A NAP FOR THOUSNDS OF YEARS OR SUMSHIT

frigga is tryna convice loki they meant well. kinda hard too ngl. damn shield has beefed up security around this fucking hammer

oh shit electrical thunder is fucking with the shield tech once thor showed up. RAIN AND MAGIC HUMMING- thor is kicking shield’s ass- COULSON- who the fuck chooses a bow and arrow to shoot a target when they had sniper rifle- barton- HAWKEYE NVM BADASS ARROW GUY IS AMAZING

oh shit thor found miljjnor. mudfight but make it less smexy. epic momentt pogg.. its totally gonna fail him so fucking bad its gonna be funny

told you so.

now hes yelling at the sky like an insane person

AND got arrested :I

poor heimdall having to watch this all like a sad sitcom. OLDMAN STFU

“look its myeu-muh!” darcy needs to be protected at ALL COST. ohmygod they think thor is a solider from enemy lines aIshsksjskks

LOKIII- oh shit hes telling thor everything went wrong bc him and that a truce was- NVM LOKI IS TRYING THE HAMMER. YOU GOT IT LOKI

old man go save thors stupid ass. redeem yourself. bar talk is somehow wholesome. oh shit thors gotta dip outta town bc oldman said so. he didint listen to odin and ended up starting a war- OH CRAP LOKI DID LET THE FROSTY BOYS INTO ASGARD.

heimdall knows loki is causing trouble. good for loki. HA RHE OLDMAN GOT FUCKING WASTED BY THE BOOZE LIKE A COWARD.

padme is so awkward around thor. shes in looovvveee. awh thor snatched up her genius book from shield. YIGHDRISLE is such an amazing name for a tree filled with planets and worlds

DUDE DONT SHAME THE MAN FOR STRESS EATING

LOKI KNOWS HEIMDALL SNITCHED AND LET FUCKER FRIENDS THROUGH. HOLYSHIT THEY FOUND THOR SLJSOSJSKSKS

thor knows loki lied- heimdall knows loki let in the frosty boys, and is currently frozen soild by that blue cube thingy. AND NOW THE OP METAL LAZERBEAM BASTARD IS ON EARTH

OH GOD A SPEAR THROUGH THE THROAT MUST HURT LIKE A MF- SIF DONT DIE

LAZERBEAM STOP BLOWING UP BUILDINGS

dude things were getting blown up left and right but suddenly thor’s plot armor engaged and a car just flips over him and instead of going boom. standoff between lazerface and thor- whomst shall win? find out next week on: HOLYSHIT THE NORSE GODS EXIST

loki just watched thor try to give up his life and now lazerface is leav- FUCK NVM IT BITCH SLAPPED THOR SKSHSJSJSJSKKSKSJ. oH now it leaves

hammer go brrr soon? HAMMER GO BRRRRRR

PADME SAVE YOURSELF THOR JUST GOT POWERED THE FUCK UP

“oh my god” YOU JUST SAW A METAL MECH SHOOT A LAZER OUT ITS FACE AND FOUR PEOPLE IN VIKING ARMOR FIGHT. ARE YOU STILL SHOCKED???

LAZERFACE GO BOOM. THORS BACK BABYY

oh shit the frosty boys are on asgard- HEIMDALL NEEDS TO UNFREEZE AND WORK ITS MAGIC LIKE NOW

oh god the animation for some dead frosty boys got so noticable that was horrible.

TIME TO GO KICK LOKI’S ASS SKSKSJS- OHFUCK FRIGGA NOO. OHSHIT LOKI JUST MURDERED LAUGHY THE FROST KING.

lokis “ohshit thors back” face is amazing

loki hun what the fuck are you doing- stop tryna destory shit like a hero.

“I NEVER WANTED THE THRONE. I WANTED TO BE YOUR EQUAL!” my heart is torn :((

brothers fighting while a energy tree builds around him? sure why not. ohfuck loki got his ass handed to him- THOR WHY DID YOU LEAVE THE HAMMER ON HIM LIKE THAT SKSHSKSJSJSK

THOR WOKE ODIN UP BY VREAKING THE FUCKING RAINBOW BRIDGE

ODINS AWAKE AND SAVE EM AGAIN

IM CRYING LOKI JUST WANTED TO MAKE ODIN PROUD AND HE SHUT EM DOWN LIKE THAT. ODIN YOU FUCKING SUCK

awh this is making me sad i dont like this sad ending this sucks so much. loki deserved better then to die knowing odin hated him :(

heimdall is out of a job now that the bifrost is broken haha loser.

NEXT MOVIE: THE AVENGERS

ignore the misspells and the bad grammar its almost two AM by the time i finished watching and writing this up

[adhd-tea]

Oh my god, I’ve written something again? YEP!

Here is, falling for you, a spencer reid fic with so many fucking parts dude its insane.

There was a smug look on her face as she sat in the grey and white room. Her hands sat relaxed as they were cuffed to the little bar. She’d been in there for three hours, but she knew exactly what she was doing. Letting her sit, stir give off any indication that she might be guilty. It was a profiler's job after all. She didn’t kill anyone, if that’s what you’re thinking, although the agents behind the two way glass might think differently. Her hair was messy, eyes were blood-shot and she was still in her skimpy pajamas. So she sat, and she waited, they’d be in there any minute now, and judging by her own personality, she guessed they’d bring in the ‘good cop’. And just as she thought a young, skinny guy came in and sat opposite her. “Hey, I’m Doctor Reid, I want to ask you a few questions, Miss…” She noticed that was her cue to talk “Abigail Town, but you knew that, so why lie Doc?” Abigail asked leaning forwards. “I’m the one asking questions” He murmured, he reached in the file he had and brought out three photos, all women, around the age of twenty all with their throats slit. Abigail gagged. “Oh my god...That’s, I was not expecting that” Reid raised his eyebrow “What were you expecting?” He asked curiously “I don’t know, like a gunshot to the head, not their throats slit, like jeez, warn a gal before you show her shit like that” The Doctor sighed and leaned back “Do you know these women?” She shook her head “I mean I probably passed them in the streets at some point but I’ve never talked to them” She explained still not looking directly at the photos incase she threw up “Well, then why don’t you tell me why we found your DNA at the crime scene and direct links all leading back to you” Abigail shrugged “I don’t know, you’re the FBI agent, why don’t you tell me” Reid picked up his files, leaving the photos, before heading out of the room.

Reid walked into the small room with JJ and Morgan. “Did you see how she reacted to the photos, she almost threw up” JJ nodded at Morgan, “Yeah, and look at her now, she’s avoiding the photos at all cost, she’s as pale as a ghost, I don’t think she’s the UnSub” They all sat in silence for a while. “If it’s not her, then who is it?” Spencer asked, Morgan sat up and walked into the room. “Listen kid, we know you didn’t do this, but if you know who did, then you have to tell us” Abigail looked up “C-can you take the photos away please? If I have to look at them any longer I think I’m gonna throw up” Morgan nodded and swiftly collected the photos. “Do you know anyone who could one, try to frame you, and two, kill people?” Abigail thought for a second but shook her head “No, I’m sorry I don’t” Morgan nodded and sighed “It’s okay kid, for your protection we’re gonna keep you at the BAU, if someone is trying to frame you then you could be in danger” Abigail nodded as the handcuffs were taken off of her, “Uh, do you think I could go to my apartment and change?”Morgan looked at her clothes and quickly nodded “Sure Miss Town” Abigail smiled “Please, call me Abi, it’s weird when people refer to me as my last name” Morgan laughed a little bit and opened the door. “Reid, take Abi to her apartment so she can get changed” Reid nodded and grabbed his jacket from his chair. 

The ride to Abi’s apartment was quiet, and long. She noticed the young Doctor glance at her countless times. “Want something Doc Oc?” Reid shook his head “N-no… Did you just refer to me as Doc Oc, as in Doctor Octopus?” Abi smiled and nodded “Ah, the genius knows something” Sencer smiled “How’d you know I was a genius?” Abi smiled “I didn’t, I just took a well educated guess based on how you look and you answered my question” Spencer looked dumbfounded, “I- How did you do that?” “Ah, a magician never reveals her secrets, this is my apartment by the way” Spencer stopped the car and the two unbuckled their seatbelts “I’ll be ten minutes” Spencer raised an eyebrow “You’re not going alone” Abi did a double take at him “I’m not?” She questioned “If someone really does wanna harm you, then I need to go in with you” Abi smirked “Trying to see me naked, Doctor Reid” The Doctor stuttered “N-no, I'm just doing my job” Abigail laughed “I know, I’m messing with you, come on” 

The two walked up the long winded stairs up to Abigail's apartment, in complete silence. “Okay” Spencer said as they reached the door “I’ll wait out here whilst you change '' Abigail nodded and unlocked the door. “Oh my god!” She screeched staring at the carcass of a cat pinned to her walls. “Abigail?! Are you oka- oh my god” Spencer shouted looking at the same thing that Abi was looking at “S-someone was in my apartment” She whispered in shock, spencer took his gun out of his holster “Abigail, stay here, don’t move” She nodded and watched as spencer walked around her apartment checking if anyone was in it. “It’s okay, you’re okay” A breath fell out of Abi “I think I’m gonna throw up” Without a word she ran to the bathroom, throwing up her breakfast that morning “Here” Spencer said passing a glass of water to her as she sat on the floor “I’ve called the team they’ll be here soon” Abi nodded and downed the glass of water “Thank you” She croaked “Can you, uh, get me some clothes, i think i'm gonna throw up if i stand up” Spencer nodded and hesitantly moved over to her drawers grabbing a shirt and leggings. “Here, I’ll leave you to get changed”

-------Spencers POV---------

I closed the door to the bathroom leaving Abigail to get changed, I hadn’t even noticed the smell of the dead cat before now. This girl, who was twenty two at most, had been falsely arrested, held for three hours, found out someone was trying to frame her, and then finally found the carcass of a dead cat on her wall. I work with serial killers and I still couldn’t bear the sight of the cat. I looked around her apartment for a while, I wasn't snooping, at least not fully. It's this brain of mine, I profile people without even realizing. Her apartment was messy, not messy enough that it's dirty though, more of an organised messy. You could probably ask her where something is and she'll find it. “Reid?” I heard Hotch’s name call out “In here, you might wanna bring in a vet or something” I saw Hotch physically gag at the sight of the cat. “Yeah, I think that's best, where is she?” I nodded my head towards the bathroom. “She’s getting changed after she threw up,” Hotch nodded and waved a few people in the apartment. “Morgans in the SUV downstairs, take her there when she comes out, keep her at the BAU” I nodded and walked back to the bathroom, knocking on the door gently, “Abigail, can I come in?” I asked as softly as I could, I heard a weak “Yeah” From the otherside of the door and opened the door slowly, “Can you stand?” I asked crouching besides her “I think so” I nodded and helped her up, walking her out of her apartment and down to the SUV. 

We arrived at the BAU and set her up in the smaller conference room. “Do you need anything, water? Food?” She shook her head and fiddled with her bracelet “No, I’m good, thanks though Doc” I smiled softly and walked out the door “My names Spencer by the way, figured that since we've already seen a dead cat today you might as well know my name” She laughed a little and looked up “Thank you, Spencer.” I smiled again and walked out the room. My name felt weird coming out of her mouth. When I first met her she was, tough, stern and definitely used humour as a coping mechanism but now, she seems more soft and fragile. “Is she okay?” JJ asked me, coming up to me. I sighed and shrugged “I’ll talk to her” I nodded at JJ and sat down at my desk.

------Abigail's POV-----

I sat on the small couch in the office and tried to control my breathing. I hadn’t believed it at first, when Morgan said that someone was out to get me I had practically laughed. But now, now it all seems too real, I’d never seen a dead body before, but within three hours of arriving at the BAU I’d seen so much I’m scared i can never go back to living a ‘normal life’

Spencer was nice. I kind of had him pegged for the nice type when he walked into the interrogation room, wasn’t expecting him to be this cute though. “Abigail, Hey im Jennifer Jareau, you can call me JJ. Can I ask you some questions?” I looked up and noticed a young blonde girl walk towards me “Yeah sure” I whispered, she smiled and took a seat opposite me. “Can you think of anyone, anyone at all that would want to harm you” I thought for a second and suddenly a name popped up in my head “Lydia Parker” I spoke breathlessly “She bullied me as a kid and when I left for college she killed a bird and left in on my doorstep.” JJ nodded and stood up leaving the room. 

It was quiet, too quiet for me. Spencer definitely doesn't need company, but I’m gonna go pester him anyway. “Hey” I smiled sitting on the edge of his desk “Hey, how are you feeling?” I shrugged “I feel like I’ve smoked a shit ton of weed and now I’m coming down from my high” He laughed and leaned forwards “Do you like reading?” I shrugged “I don’t really read to be honest” He looked offended to be quite frankly “You don’t read? Come with me” I found myself following the charming doctor through the halls of the BAU and towards the library “You have a library in here?” He smiled and nodded “Yep, everything from Rossi's autobiography to The Hungry Hungry Hippo” I laughed a little and followed him to the back of the library “Here” He said reaching up and grabbing a green book “I think you’ll like it, it’s about a girl who falls in love with someone on the other side of the world, I really enjoyed it” I smiled and flipped through the pages “Thank you Doc Oc” He laughed at the nickname and walked towards two plush chairs in the corner “What’re we doing?” I asked sitting down “According to numerous studies, the best way to calm down anxiety is through reading, and tea, but Garcia hogs the tea so we have none” I found myself laughing more with him. “Thank you, Spence” He smiled and pulled a book out of his bag and the both of us began reading our books.

[husky-boi]

It’s Always Been You ~ Chapter 4

Summary: Husk grew up with the casinos of Vegas, and made his living there. This is the story of how he found the joy in life, and a reminder that sometimes true love transcends worlds

Ships: Huskniss (Husk x Arackniss)

Ao3 Link

...they'll always find a way back together. 

Husk lost track of how long it had been since Angel's family started hanging out at the hotel. In all honesty, he hadn't expected them to be around more than a few days, a week tops. He hadn't expected Charlie to let them stay, considering neither Molly or Arackniss were remotely interested in the concept of redemption. The more energetic of the two spent most of her time running around and introducing herself to everyone that came through the front doors, talking a particular interest in Cherri for who knows what reason. Husk didn't care about that. What he cared about was the short, black spider that insisted on spending every evening taking up a seat at the bar.

Arackniss was rarely talkative, and for the first few weeks, their routine was the same. He would sit down at the bar, Husk would slide him a bottle of something he pointed at (usually red wine, sangria, or just straight vodka), take down at minimum five bottles, and push Husk a stack of cash without asking for the price. It was almost always double the actual cost, but by the time he finished counting it out, Arackniss was gone. And that really pissed him off some days.

His voice sounded so damn familiar, and Husk just couldn't figure out why. It was impossible to try and understand it when the spider didn't talk to anyone besides Angel most of the time. So he had to take some kind of action, that much was obvious.

On this particular night, something had obviously been bothering Niss much more than usual, because he about drank the entire stash of wine, vodka, and a few other types that they had. Husk panicked when he watched the other reach into his pocket as typically to pull out the money, he had to say something now or never.

"Don't bother. S'on the house."

Arackniss immediately froze, glancing up to the bartender and quickly searching his eyes for any sign of a trick. "How much of it was poisoned?"

Husk took a few seconds to process the phrase before scoffing. "None of it, I'd lose my fuckin' job if I did that. Can't I just give a loyal customer a discount without it bein' suspicious?"

Apparently not, because the glare of Niss' golden eyes didn't stop. Not when he took the cash out anyway and put it on the table, not when Husk pushed it back at him, not when he reluctantly took the money back and pocketed it again. Somehow despite the anger, Husk was able to see the pain present in them had faded, if only a small bit. And though it hadn't happened in many years, Husk felt the side of his mouth curl into a smile.

"…thanks." Then Arackniss was gone again, and Husk was once again left alone wondering what the hell happened to his heart for it to start beating this fast.

-----

From that point on, the routine changed slightly. Arackniss was slightly more talkative, and though it was rare he said more than one sentence at a time, it was clear that he wasn't quite as standoffish as before. That's progress, and at least when he was talking Husk could focus on his voice more. Though, by this point, he wasn't sure if he was trying to figure out where he'd heard it from, or if he just liked the sound of Niss' voice. Maybe a bit of both.

"Y'ever had Michter's whiskey?" Husk was given a skeptical look. "I know, it's an American brand, but I swear it's good shit. Kinda expensive, but managed to snag a bottle from the black market demons that sneak it from the surface. So you want some?"

Arackniss was really only fond of brands coming from his home country of Italy, with a preference for those in Rome. Still, it didn't stop him from pushing out a glass for it to be poured. Husk knew him better than that, and knocked it aside, reaching under the counter to pick out a bottle for each of them to drink from directly.

"Best shit I ever had, I swear. Couldn't afford it all that much while I was alive, but the good stuff gets you drink twice as fast as cheap booze. Probably somethin' to do with havin' a good opinion on it swaying your thoughts, I don't know."

By the time Husk finished talking, Niss had already taken the top of the bottle off with his teeth (and damn, that was eye-catching everytime it happened), and he was already about halfway done with it. And still drinking. Fuck, this guy could really hold his liquor.

Only once the bottle was finished did Arackniss give a slight shrug, sitting the bottle down. Another few seconds, and Husk swore he nearly passed out when Niss smiled at him.

"Yeah, not bad… For an' American brand."

Husk couldn't help it; he laughed. He actually laughed, for the first time in who knows how many decades. With his eyes closed and wiping tears from them, he missed the way Niss' fur fluffed up at the sound or how the spider's eyes were on him up until Husk was looking back again.

"S-shit.. Next time show me your favorite, and we'll compare then. How about that?"

"Fair 'nough."

-----

It had to have been at least a few months now, of Husk trying to make enough money during the day to cover the free drinks Arackniss would have that evening, of them talking more each night, topics shifting from the hotel, to its patrons, and finally to each other. Stories of how they were during life, their childhood, their hobbies and jobs. Anything, really, but the subject of tonight's discussion was family. Apparently a sensitive topic for both of them.

"I didn't really have much family growin' up. Started off in the foster system, and no matter how much I ran away from all the fucking pricks, they kept dragging me back. I'm telling you, couldn't wait for the day I turned eighteen and they couldn't hold me there anymore."

Arackniss nodded in response, taking some sips of his bottle of wine. Red, obviously, white wine was an abomination. "Wish I could'a done the same. I mean, siblings weren't too bad, Tony and Molls were just as stuck as I was. But my fathe' was pretty damn shit. For about a dozen reasons."

Silence for a few seconds, it was clear he hadn't planned on elaborating. "How's that, then? What'd he do, kill some fuckers?"

The bottle of red wine was sat down in favor of Arackniss scratching nervously at his wrist. "…yeah, you could say that. Bein' part'a the Italian mafia, s'kinda part of the job." Husk raised an eyebrow at that, but made no move to interrupt otherwise. "Had this big casino we ran as a front for the whole business, real easy to hide how much money you're earnin' when everyone spends thousands a day there. Much as I liked runnin' the bar there or playing the games, woulda been better if all that wasn't the reason for it."

Husk nodded in response, and it seemed for the first time he was actually intently listening to a story. He couldn't really help that, anything with gambling drew his interest. "Actually was kinda raised by casinos, sneaking in the back doors and all that. Made a pretty good fuckin' name in poker and craps for myself back then. That’s pretty much how I made my living for a good for years."

It seemed Niss was still too lost in thought to process those words, so Husk gave a gentle shove to his shoulder. He'd already learned he was allowed to do things like that, they were at least sort of close enough. "Alright, you're overthinkin' shit. Spill."

"…Mafia thing was kinda the shittiest family to be born into. And it ain't just killing people and all that, it's that you're not allowed to trust fuckin' anyone.." He sighed, running a hand through his hair, another gesture that made Husk's heart jump into his throat everytime he saw it. "Already told y'about Harold a while ago, but… There was another guy back then, met 'im at the casino. And fuck, he knew the game, was good at it without explanation. Henry kicked 'im out once he found out we… Talked. Banned 'im from the casino completely. Never got to see 'im again. Sometimes wonder what happened to the fucker…"

Husk took a few seconds to process that story. It sounded really, really fucking familiar. "…wouldn' happen to be the Rose D'Oro Casino in Vegas, would it?"

"Yeah, why'd y'ask?"

Suddenly, that familiar voice made a little bit more sense.

He nearly knocked the wine bottle off the table on accident, scrambling to hold it steady as he reached into his pocket with one hand. With a shaking hand, Husk pulled out a very old and faded black and gold die, with a rose in place of the one, placing inbetween them on the table. Naturally, Niss' eyes widened.

"…I think.. This is yours?"

More silence. Uncomfortable silence as they both just stared at the object on the table. And then Husk felt his bowtie being pulled on and, contrary to the feeling he was about to receive a punch, lips were crashing into his and holy shit fucking Arackniss was kissing him-

Husk swore he blacked out for a few seconds, because when he was coherent enough to know what was going on, the kiss was already over and he was lightheaded with both of them grabbing onto each other's shirts.

"…oh my god, it's fucking you-" It took a monumental amount of effort for Husk to just say that at the moment. He was pretty sure every bit of fur on his body was standing up straight in the air, his ears were pressed flat against his head, and damn his tail was moving happily, wasn't it?

Husk could feel his soul leaving his body as Niss smiled at him, truly and openly smiled. "…it's always been you…"

-----

 Soulmates are connected through time and space.

 Sometimes a distance can grow between the two.

 But no matter how far apart they become…

 …they'll always find a way back together.

 For better or worse

 Through sickness and in health

 Two souls were made for each other

 And when they come together

 All the broken pieces find their other halves

 And they are whole once again

-----

Taglist: @lunar-trash @silver-crowned-king @incorrect-hazbin-quotes @im-not-an-alcaholicokmolly @tophattippin @grape-scapegoat

[lokishornns]

Champagne and Heights

—

masterlist

mcu masterlist

—

—

type: fluff, comedy

rating: pg13

summary: You hated Loki. Not really, but you did. But like, not really.

word count: 3,151

warnings: a few curse words

request: anonymous – “A request for a Loki x Reader. Where she is like just bearly 5 feet tall?”

notes: im just now getting around to this, sorry! but this is a cute little fluff oneshot that just makes my heart thump, so i hope you enjoy

—

Water runs off of your skin, dripping to the floor and leaving hazardous puddles as your bare feet slap furiously against the compound’s floors. The facial expression you wore as you stomp through the hallways was petrifying, a clear warning sign to anyone in the compound that you were mad as hell and not to be messed with. You turn corners, ignoring the agents that jump away from you in fear as the feeling of tension in the air intensifies.

You were going to kill that alien prince son of a bitch.

You looked absolutely horrible. Your hair was in tight columns from coming out of the shower, water still pouring from the strands; your face was dripping wet makeup, turning you more into a raccoon than anything else. A towel was wrapped tightly around your body and you were visibly shaking, but most couldn’t differentiate if it was because of the temperature or the amount of rage being pent up inside of your small figure. It was probably the latter.

“Shit, they’re at it again,” Bucky yelled, scrambling for his phone to text a warning to the group chat. He types quickly, his fingers a frenzied mess as he sends the text. Not soon after, his phone rings and a picture of a redhead making a goofy face at the camera pops up on the screen. “Oh, thank god, Natasha.”

“What happened?” her voice sounded staticky through the phone speaker as he peers cautiously out the doorway as if anything could attack him at the moment.

“I’m not sure, but I just saw agents running from the hallways and she storms past, dripping wet,” he babbles quickly, unable to keep the word vomit in her mouth.

“Could you see what he did?” Natasha’s voice now sounding strained and a loud gunshot sounds through the phone. Bucky, unphased by the regular sounds of calling Natasha, continues.

“Doll, she was walking so fast that I’m not even sure Steve would be able to beat her with his motorcycle,” he responds, biting his lip nervously.

“When are they-” a grunt sounded from the other end of the line, “going to realize?”

This was a regular occurrence, but still dangerous, nonetheless. A couple months ago, the bickering had started out of nowhere. You two were getting along just fine, attending your own business in the kitchen, when the next thing you know, the team bursts into the room, food painting the cabinets that surround you and occasional broken glass mixed in with the mess. When attempting to confront you two, Loki just shrugged and you pointed out that the compound needed a remodel anyways, saying you did everyone a favor.

However, now, Loki had really done it. You turned a corner sharply, your eyes narrowing on the targeted location. You don’t even knock, throwing the door wide open, your small body becoming a barrel of sorts. You look around the room, making sure to fling some water on his bed, knowing wet sheets is one of his biggest pet peeves. The sound of water running catches your attention and you whip your face to the bathroom, hurriedly opening the door, and glancing around, rage swimming around in your eyes.

You realize he’s in the shower, however, nothing stops you as you fling back the shower curtain, Loki jumping and yelping loudly, stumbling for a quick moment before regaining his footing. Loki’s eyes are wide as his hands go to cover his parts, panic evident in his figure. You would regularly laugh at this instance, but you only shook with rage as you stared at the god. When recognition seeped into his expression and as he glanced down your body, his signature smirk filled his features.

“Getting ready for your date, huh?” he asks, quirking an eyebrows up and you huff, a quick breath being exhaled from you. He no longer bothers to cover his body as he noticed this was another fight brewing between the two of you.

“Loki, undo it,” you say firmly, your eye twitching.

Loki steps out of the shower, grabbing a towel. He turns back to you, peering down at your figure, making sure that you knew how much of a height advantage he had over you. He was past six feet tall and you had only barely made it to five feet, really a pathetic gain on his figure.

“And why should I do that?” he wraps the towel around his waist before turning back to the mirror, looking his figure up and down, seemingly satisfied. You had to admit, Loki was stunning. His body was one thing, but his face was the real masterpiece. While he was fit and relatively big, he was slim compared to his brother (whom you were positive had drunk some type of Asgardian protein shake). His face was gorgeous with high cheek bones accompanying his bright, icy eyes. His skin was pale, contrasting deeply with his dark hair. You shook your head; Loki could not be a distraction now. He was your enemy.

“Loki, I can’t go to the gala looking like this,” you wave down to your body which somehow had taken on a bright orange tint, causing you to look like a glistening Cheeto. Loki stifled a laugh as you groaned, pressing the heels of your hands to your eyes to rub furiously, only smearing your makeup more.

“Okay Princess, I’ll reverse it on one condition,” he bends down while speaking, hands on his knees while taunting your height, causing your ears to go red in frustration and embarrassment.

“Don’t call me that,” your nostrils flared dangerously and Loki’s smirk almost faltered. Almost.

“Do you want to keep your Presidential tan?” Loki asked, raising an eyebrow high and you huffed, rolling your eyes. “You have to grab this,” he smiles, lifting his hand high above his head, a random bottle of hair product in his hand. You turn your brows down quickly, directing your frustration to the arrogant god as he taunts you with the bottle. You grumble, hating Loki’s guts currently.

“No,” you grumble out reluctantly, crossing your arms in front of your chest, biting the inside of your cheek, annoyed that you had given him the small victory. “Loki, please. I just-” you shut your mouth quickly, knowing that you would word vomit the second you get the chance. Loki’s eyes narrowed at you suspiciously.

“You just what?” he asked, leaning his face closer, causing your eyes to darken.

“It’s nothing, don’t bother,” you step back, unsure about the close proximity. His eyes search yours for a moment, seemingly in thought.

“I’ll reverse it if you tell me,” he decided, his voice softer than normal. You eye him curiously, temporarily taken aback by his change in tone, but you just ignore it knowing it’s probably another trick. You groan, throwing your head back to look at the ceiling, taking a deep breath before starting.

“This date wasn’t just like a date. I don’t care for the guy too much, truth be told. But like,” you stop for a moment, your eyes shifting downwards under his gaze, “it made me feel normal.” You almost whisper out the last part like it was some horrible secret that needed to be protected at any cost.

Loki doesn’t say much, and as each second ticked by, the more and more uneasy you became. Loki finally seemed to decide on something as he glanced his eyes over to his closet and back to you. He stood up straight, no longer leaning over you.

“How does this pathetic excuse for a man make your evening normal?” he asked, more curious than anything else. You glance at the god, unsure of how to respond.

“I’m supposed to be angry with you. I still look like a fucking highlighter,” you say, stepping back, one hand absentmindedly going to tighten the towel around your body.

“Don’t ignore my question,” Loki almost threatens, his stare intense enough to bore holes into you.

“Ugh, fine, whatever. Just because I get to go around people who won’t know or care who I am. And even if they do, I get to dress up and look pretty for once in my life. I bought a new dress and makeup and-” you close your mouth, knowing the word vomit had said too much.

“You won’t be going with this man,” his voice cadenced to show the end of a conversation. Your eyes widen and your face flushes once again with anger. Loki turns his back, instead going to the sink of the bathroom and inspecting a bottle of some sort of hair product.

“What do you mean I won’t be going with him? Matt’s super nice. You aren’t the boss of me,” you spit, stepping in front of him, your lower back pressing against the counter. Loki looks down at the proximity between the two of you, his eyes dancing back up to your own.

“I would suggest you prepare for tonight. You do have a gala to go to, darling,” he drawls out the nickname, firmly pushing you aside, your feet stumbling slightly. Your head whips back to look at his figure, pissed off at his blatant arrogance. You catch a sight of your complexion in the mirror, noticing its normal hue. You almost sigh in relief until you remember you’re next to Loki, your mood dampened.

“Whatever, you’re a pussy.”

“Bitch.”

“Cunt,” you call behind your shoulder as you walk out.

“Whore.”

“Twat.”

You double check yourself in the mirror, almost crying in relief. You had been watching countless makeup videos on youtube, never seeming to be able to get anything right. You had finally given up, calling Natasha into your room once spotting her in the hallway. She had been surprised at your request, but excitedly agreed, immediately getting to work on your face. You looked hot.

You were now alone in your room after Natasha had to report to Fury with the mission details. You walked over to the dress that laid on your bed, quickly slipping it on. You slip on your heels, deciding it was easier to do before putting on your dress rather than trying to bend over in the fabrics. You grab the zipper, excited to dress up for once. The zipper only went around halfway up the metal teeth before stopping. Your brows drew together, concentrated on the hindrance. You tugged again to no avail. Pathetic panic begins to seep in and you glance at your outfit in the mirror. You pull the zipper again, only to have it jerk the back of your dress. Before you can practically rip your dress off, your phone rings loudly. You huff, waddling over to your phone.

“Hello?” you answer without checking the caller id.

“Hey,” Matt’s voice rang out through the speaker and your face drooped at the thought of your dress getting in the way of the night.

“Hey, Matt, what’s up?” you tug on the zipper once more, attempting to make your voice not sound very strained.

“I have bad and good news. Bad news: I’m going to have to cancel for tonight,” he says and your face falls, immediately embarrassed and humiliated. You bite the inside of your cheek, taking in the silence carefully. “Good news: I found a replacement date,” he tries to say in a reassuring voice, but you cock your head at this. You only find slight comfort in this, as you could be going with a  complete stranger.

“Who’s the date?” you ask, glancing at your dress in the mirror, still contemplating on how to solve your zipper issue.

“He’s a friend of mine named Loki Odinson. He’s handsome and a lady-killer; I’m sure y’all will hit it off,” before he can finish, you hang up, feeling your face flood with red as anger seeps into your pores. Your eyes are squinted as you throw open the door to your room, stomping out of your room, your heels clicking violently on the floor.

Natasha shovels a mouthful of ice cream into her mouth, sighing as she sits at the counter of the kitchen. She pauses, hearing a clacking sound that seems to be growing closer and closer. She strains her ears in order to make out the sound, only registering it right in time before you fly past, your loose dress flying behind your small figure. She stares at you, her spoon hanging in her mouth, before she scrambles to her phone, fingers flying to shoot a warning text to the group.

Your fist pounds loudly on the door once finding it locked. You don’t stop your banging until the door flies open, revealing an empty room. You hear shuffling in the bathroom and you stalk over to the god, eyes piercing into his back, despising the tuxedo that now adorns his body.

“Darling, back so soon?” he teases, turning his head towards you briefly before returning to groom himself. You freeze, noticing how stunning he looks before cursing yourself for being such an idiot.

“What the fuck did you do to Matt?” you ask, crossing your arms over your dress.

“I reminded him of his priorities, like seeing his sick mother,” he responds smoothly, leaving your mouth open.

“Do you enjoy torturing me?”

“I’m far from a form of torture, now, turn around,” he instructs, turning his body to face me fully. You scrunch your nose in confusion.

“What-” before you can clarify his thoughts, Loki cuts you off.

“Turn around,” he says again, his eyes staring you down as if daring you to test his will. If it weren’t for your height, you’d be much more resistant against his demands, however, a slight change of his posture could bend you to his will. You roll your eyes and huff before reluctantly turning around. “For being such a feisty girl, you sure are quite obedient,” he remarks, his fingers traveling to your backside. You’re surprised at his cool touch, but you don’t move away when his fingers gently pull up the zipper past the previous place of issues for your dress. You unfold your arms, glancing at the trickster with uncertainty.

“We need to get you a girlfriend,” you start. “She’ll knock down your ego a bit. And your ass. Oh, I’d love to see that. Loki being completely in love with a girl,” you snort, walking out of the bathroom swiftly, your previous anger miraculously diminished as you feel Loki’s eyes trail after you.

“Love, you’re so dumb that it’s painful to hear you speak,” he says, stepping out of his bathroom and through the threshold of his bedroom before offering his arm to you. You slip your hand through the hook of his elbow, grasping onto it tightly to make up for the height difference.

“Do you already have a girlfriend?” you question, looking up to his face, your eyes widening. You ignore the sharp pain in your chest, quickly shoving all emotions out of your mind.

“Now why would I when I have a perfectly good woman on my arm right now. It does not seem I am in need of replacement,” he says and you scoff, glancing down at yourself. He slows his pace, leaning down to lightly brush his lips over your ears, causing you to shiver. “You look ravishing. You should have told me you would look like this, there would be a lot more galas planned,” he whispered and you feel a rush of excitement through your body.

Loki groans for what seems to be the fifth time that night as your heels puncture his shoes. He grits his teeth. You only giggle, the effects of a surplus of champagne just now kicking in as your feet dance carelessly across the floor. Loki’s height towers over you that it already makes it so difficult to dance with him.

“How is it possible that you look so stunning, yet you are a horrible and incapable dancer,” he makes the snide remark, only prompting more giggles to bubble up from your stomach. If you weren’t so tipsy, you would notice the slight turn of his lips at the sound of your laughter.

“This champagne is like Stark’s liquor, it’s so powerful. What’s in it?” you ask Loki, your words probably coming out a lot more garbled than you think, your heels stumbling over something random. You lean back in his arms, forgetting the height difference between the two of you before you slip through his arms, landing on the floor in a thud. You laugh loudly and you can’t help but hear the soft chuckles that come from the god.

“Let’s get you home,” he whispers, mainly to himself, before lifting your frame off of the floor.

As Loki cradles your frame in his arms, there’s a group of four Avengers, sitting anxiously in the kitchen, waiting for disaster to strike. The slight sounds of shuffling causes their ears to perk up, making their heads dart to the hallway. They peer from behind the wall, jaws dropping at the sight before them. Loki carefully trying to cradle your body with his arms while trying to open your door is something they never expected. At first, their brains went into panic mode, silently shuffling to the room that Loki had now disappeared into, fearing the worst of the god. When their eyes caught sight of the god gently pulling your heels off and slipping you under the covers, pulling the sheets up to your chin as you liked it, they almost went into cardiac arrest with shock. The four watched Loki intently as he conjured a glass of water and a tablet to soothe a hangover. Loki turned to the door, freezing as he saw the figures standing there, all of their eyes trained on him. He quickly regained his composure before briskly striding past them, softly closing the door in the process, heading off into darkness.

A text rang out on all four of their phones, prompting them to reach into their pockets.

Shuri: u all owe me five bucks

Peter: don’t forget me

Tony quickly texted back, having dealt with the pair far too frequently.

Tony: Nobody is giving anybody money

Thor: How do I use venmo money? Why is it asking for banke information? I only have shiny metal disks on my wooden box.

Shuri: thor what the fuck

T’Challa: Language

Tony: T’Challa’s turning into Steve, confirmed evidence

Bucky: He’s far from Steve. Steve is packed in all areas. T’Challa’s got a pussy.

Steve: Oh, God bless America.

Peter: OH MY GOD MR BARNES

Shuri: HUBSDHBSVBSB I CHOKED

Thor: Someone call that mortal phone that is angry with us all the time!

Tony: Thor…do you mean 911?

Natasha: How long did you guys know about Loki?

Peter: lol since he saw her

Peter: i know because he looked like me when i first saw liz

Shuri: ^

[knjredwluv]

Red. [1]

Red (n.)

Red could signify the color of love, passion, determination, and strength. Red could also signify blood, fire, war, desire and energy. Red is an emotionally intense color.

Title: Red

Words: 4.7k

AU: Yandere/Obssessive relationship 

Characters: Jungkook x Reader. Hoseok x Reader. OT7.

Warnings: 17+ explicit language, angst!angst!angst!, slight implications of smut, some fluff and soft moments (super fucking sappy), noona kink (if you squint reaaaaally hard), yandere/obsessive relationship (this isnt a healthy relationship and i dont promote any of this), mentions of killing, hallucinations, has very descriptive angst!!

Summary: “After the things that happened, you decided to start anew. Everything was how you thought it would be; it was simple but perfect–until you saw your name on a black envelope. Out of curiosity, you opened it; and now, you wish you didn’t.”

LIST FOR RED

CHAPTER 1

You held your phone to your ear using your shoulder. You huffed as you tried to multi-task being on the phone, walking to class and carrying a shoulder bag, laptop, books and a cup of coffee in your arms. “Can you please just do it? I have to head back to Jimin’s because he left his wallet.”

“____, as much as I love you, I will not go to your brother’s house without you. You know the look he gives me for being with you already– and you want me to go there to drop off your boxes for you.” You chuckled as he rambled and emphasized on the task you requested him to do.

“Babe, that’s just how he looks at everyone, okay? And plus, you’re bigger than him. I remember having a man for a boyfriend not a baby.” you giggle as you teased him.

“For fucks sake, ____, Your brother is a fucking cop. He looks like he hates me and he is a licensed official who can put me behind bars for, I don’t know, laughing at you when you do some stupid shit” You laugh at this because you know you’re one hell of a klutz.

“I’ll give you a blowjob if you do it” You whispered into the phone, nonchalantly. As expected, there is a small pause until you heard a groan.

“Fine, I’ll do it. You owe me big time, baby girl.”

You ended the call and texted your brother saying that Jungkook is heading over to drop off your things for your parents.

—

Bro

[12:34] Y/N: yoon

[12:34] Y/N: Jk is heading over there to bring my stuff

[12:35] Y/N: u home right?

[12:37] Bro: Nah

[12:37] Bro: not home work called but Mina is home she shuld be awake

[12:38] Y/N: Mkay ill tell him

[12:40] Bro: 👍🏻

—

Jeon♡

[12:45] Y/N: Hes not home but Mina is

[12:47] Jeon♡: Ok yessssss

[12:47] Jeon♡: but im still expecting something 👀

[12:47] Y/N: fck outta here jeon and do what u gotta do

[12:47] Jeon♡: Damn ok live u

[12:47] Jeon♡: love*** ♥️♥️

[12:48] Y/N: 🥰 love you 2

—

You shoved your phone in your bag and walked to the library. The weather was really nice. it complimented how you were dressed up for today.

Thank God, it was just for today.

Your Art Club meeting is really gonna screw you up. You really hope you ace this meeting since you stayed up all night making the power point. You’re also drowning yourself in caffeine and hoping it doesn’t spill on your new blouse. The branded shirt costed you more than your monthly grocery; and it’s not like you find it a hassle to be stylish but it’s definitely something different. It’s way different than the go-to vans and a pair of jeans with the Uni’s hoodie. Oh how you wished that’s what you were wearing right now.

After the meeting, you walked up the steps and opened the door to the University’s library. You were greeted by Namjoon, who was on his way out.

“Hey, ____. What brings you here? It isn’t Thursday today, is it?” He asked you casually while checking his Gold Casio watch. Namjoon is used to your frequent visits to the library. After working in the library for 4 out of 5 years of his Uni life, he’s accustomed to seeing you on the same desk, at the second floor, by the window. Sometimes, you’re caught doing homework, checking out Literature books or books of Art History, or probably just reading a comic book or webtoon that Jungkook told you about.

“Oh no, It’s Tuesday but I just needed to catch up with some work” accidentally bumping your elbow to the door causing you to almost drop your books but luckily, Namjoon’s instincts were fast. You quietly thanked him. “I got math to do”

“Well then,” He turned and waved “Ms. Ryu is expecting me. Good luck with math”

“Alrightie, see ya”

You walked to your usual spot and placed your laptop on the desk. You opened it and typed in the password. You grinned at the screensaver.

Oh god, it never fails to make you smile.

It was a screenshotted picture of Jungkook with ice cream of his face on your second date. It was a funny memory if you recall what happened.

“Stopppp, you’re going too hard. I might fly up” You said giggling and holding on the seesaw like it meant your life depended on it. Technically, it kind of did.

“Okay okay, i’m sorry” he said laughing at how you looked.

Both of you continued using the seesaw while casually talking about nonsense like what if aliens came and decided to rule Earth or if there was a zombie apocalypse, what you would do.

“Now that I think about it, I would find it weird that there’s two grown adults using a seesaw and eating ice cream– BUT CUTE” saying it with emphasis.

“Your right, it’s not something you see everyday” He shrugged and laughed and went back to lick his ice cream.

“Yeah, you don’t see muscle pig tatted good looking e-boy eating ice cream while using a seesaw, everyday” You teasingly said.

“What was that?” He said looking at you. You knew that he heard because his ears were starting to turn red but it didn’t stop his lips altering to a smile hearing the compliment. It was probably even boosting his ego hearing that the girl he likes called him good looking. He knew that and he always, mentally, thanked his parents and the Man above for mixing his genes well.

“Huh?” biting your lip, smiling and trying not to laugh “Oh nothing” shaking your head. You took out your phone to take a snapchat video of him holding onto the seesaw with his ice cream cone on the other hand.

He urged you to repeat it, not because of what you said, but because of how the blush crept up your face as you said it. He noticed how red your cheeks has gotten and how you adorable it is to see you this flustered.

“Say it” he whined, exaggerating the act knowing that he was being recorded. He bounced a little hard on the seesaw which caused you to jump a little. He smirked at your shocked look.

“Hmm, You wanna play that game huh?” Still taking a video, you playfully copied what he did to you which caused him to jump a little forward and the ice cream on his hand, now on the ground. His chin and mouth covered in with the dessert and his black shirt having evidence of the incident.  

“Awwww Jungkook, I’m sorry” You cooed and pouting at him. You couldn’t help but giggle at the sight in front of you as you walked towards him, zooming into his face. He had a fake pout and a slight smile. Putting your phone at the back of your pocket, you took the napkin from around your cone and started to wipe his chin.

“I’m so sowwyyy”

He stared at you mischievously. You glanced into his eyes and continued to wipe his chin. He pulled your wrist down and held the sides of your face and gave you a peck on the lips. You gasp at the sudden kiss but also the feeling of the sticky sugar treat around your mouth.

“It’s okay, now we’re even” He said laughing at you, with the little pout on your face.

You smile at the memory. It reminds you how lucky you got when meeting Jungkook because not only is he caring, smart and loving, he can also be a dickhead who doesn’t take people’s shit. The duality, right? But hey, with the exception of your brother, Yoongi. He kind of isn’t ashamed to admit to you that your brother is quite intimidating and, sometimes, scare him. You’re pretty sure your brother also enjoys seeing Jungkook shit his pants whenever he sees him. His career choice, of being a police officer just adds up to the thrill of it. Although, Jungkook could be a bit younger than you, it doesn’t stop Yoongi from being protective of you. But that’s only if he is judging based on façade. Besides, he’s known Jungkook for long enough to know that he’s a keeper.

The loud sound of a book falling by the computer area brought you back to reality. You sighed and took out your math handout and begin on working out the problems.

“Now back to this shit.” You muttered. You didn’t mind doing your assignments and homework but what really irked you is that your professor never collects it. It was just the usual. He gives out assignments, expects you to do them and then pop quiz at the end of the month.

Taking a break, you leaned back into the chair and took a sip of the ice coffee you brought. You looked around while stretching and cracked your joints. It sent you a wave of relief throughout your body after solving, for God knows how long, algebra equations. You checked your phone and realized you’ve been sitting down, doing your work for 47 mins.

You stared out the window enjoying the scenery of the field and the school’s garden. What caught your eye is a group walking to the parking lot, but in this group you saw someone who thought would be familiar. You tilted your head trying to identify this person. It made you move closer to the window and you sat there with your chin on your hand, squinting your eyes for better focus. It was as if you were burning holes into this person’s back. Ironically, It was like he felt the heat behind him and he turned around. He turned around to face who could be his friends. Seeing his face, it sent chills down your spine. Blinking and shaking your head, thinking that you could be hallucinating or day-dreaming. You looked up again and couldn’t make out who they were because their friends were blocking the one who you wanted to see. Your mind became blank once again and you looked at your ice coffee.

“I really shouldn’t be drinking you, you’re starting to make me see things” you thought.

You thought that it could be the coffee. It’s already your 4th cup for the day. Although, at this rate, you don’t know if your body is immune to it because you still feel sluggish as you did this morning. You hold your head with both hands, elbows on the table, feeling a slight headache. It’s like feeling all your brain cells dying because of the caffeine overdose. You decided to shake it off and continue doing your work.

You were startled when the chair in front of you and beside you was pulled open and there sat Jimin and Taehyung. Your hands placed on your chest, you swore you that you just let out a loud shriek causing people to look at your direction.

“What the fu– don’t just randomly do that you shitheads” You whisper-yelled. You try to recover from the sudden appearance of the playful couple.

“We saw you here, hope you don’t mind we come and join you on your little study sesh”

“Not at all” You said “Oh yeah, here,” You searched in your bag for the thick leather wallet and handed it to him “Good thing you came”

"Thought you would be in class?” You asked while he shoves his wallet at the back of his pocket

“Well we finished early, Mr. Xing said he’s gonna call off for the day”

“Yeah, Poor man, been coughing all day and couldn’t sound out a syllable”

“What’s up, ____. Looking like you were shitting bricks before we gave you reason to shit bricks. What is that?” He came closer to check the assignment I was doing and to his dismay, it was math.

“Oou, well, that explains, but you good?”

“Yeah, head hurts and was thinking ‘bout some things” you mumbled.

“Well, you gotta stop overthinking, it gives you wrinkles. ‘N you know what they say about wrinkles~ they’re a sign of old age~”

“Wow, Thanks Tae” You rolled your eyes, chuckling at the two. You stayed in the library with Jimin and Taehyung talking and doing assignments and projects.

Now, you are found in Jimin’s car, releasing stress by singing your souls out to 2000s R&B. You insisted that you walk but, of course, he didn’t take no for an answer.

You were born in Daegu but your family moved to Seoul when you and Yoongi were very young. A few years ago, you decided to move in with your brother and his wife. Despite being born in the area, you felt out of place until you met Jimin and Taehyung. They were your the first set of friends that you met when you moved to Daegu. It was an easy friendship because not only that they attended DAU, Daegu Arts University, you three have the same Art History class. You’re not gonna lie but you might have had the slightest crush on Jimin during first year of Uni–that was until you find out the two were together. Hey, it didn’t hurt though, the two were like soulmates.

Checking your phone, you saw time was only 4:27 PM. You sighed realizing that you’ll have the apartment to yourself until Jungkook comes home, from his shift at the tattoo parlour, later tonight.

He was already working there when you met him. He moved away from Busan to pursue his dream in music. He asked his parents if he could move to Daegu and attend DAU. Of course, it took a toll on his parents but they let him do what he wanted. The best thing they could do was support their son on his dream; He aced a job at a tattoo parlour and he has little shows at the bars downtown, all while he was studying. He realized that it gave him satisfaction and he, secretly, took a break from school–which now, it led to him being a full-time worker at the well-known tattoo parlour. He finds that it’s nothing different if he would have finished; seeing that he didn’t need to be a college graduate to get his job. Despite those circumstances, his creativity and love for Art and Music gets him paid; and that’s what matters to him and you–that he’s happy.

“Alright,” You shut the door and tapped on the trunk “thanks boys, see you tomorrow?”

“Yeah, bye, _____. Sleep well tonight, You look too sleep deprived”

“I will, drive safe, text me when you’re home”

You walked up the stairs and reached your apartment. You entered the code of the door’s lock and the door makes sound, signaling you that the doors open. You entered, taking off your shoes and hanging your coat on the coat rack. Walking towards the living room, you put your bag on the ground next to the counter which separates the living room and kitchen. Plopping down on the couch, you sighed in relief of the feeling being home and laying at the soft surface. You focused on listening to the humming of the air conditioner and then you felt your eyelids becoming heavy with every tick of the clock.  

You were awoken by the smell of food and it made you realize how hungry you were; smelling the food definitely made your stomach growl that you felt the strong vibrations. You sat up and looked around and adjusted your vision to the light. You turned around and saw Jungkook’s back. You stood up and quickly stretched and walked towards him. As you approached him, he turned around and noticed your sleepy figure about to engulf him, which was intended to be a back hug.

“Hi sleepy” He says. He placed the spoon and tupperware on the counter, hugged you back in return and left a kiss on your temple. You hummed and just hugged him tighter. Inhaling his scent of body soap and aftershave.

“Mina gave me some food when I went over there; She said you should try it and gave us a lot of it” You hummed in response.

“What is it?” Your voice husky from sleeping

“It’s a chicken stew. C’mon, get ready we’ll have dinner in a few, I’m already making rice”

“I wanna stay like this still” Your hold became tighter and he just rubbed your back. Your hunger was replaced by the feeling of ease and comfort in his embrace. You moved your face from his chest and faced him with your eyes closed and smiled at him.

“Don’t forget your little promise, baby.” He said while placing kisses all over your face. His hands sliding up and down your back and moved to grope your ass, giving it a little slap. Your eyes opened and fake disappointment washed over you.

“I really thought it was going to be a sweet moment, Jeon. You really had-” He cut you with a peck on the lips.“-to say that.” He chuckled.

“C’mon, Noona, I can be really sweet.” You rolled your eyes at him.

“Oh my god, you’re really fucking lucky I’m a sub or else, i would have-” You cut yourself off and you smirked at him.

“Hm, feisty now, isn’t she?” You remove yourself from him and grab a cup to drink a glass of water.

“I’m sorry, JK. I’m exhausted today. I promise, on date night, okay?”

“Something happened today? I saw how busted you look on the couch when I came home– didn’t wanna wake you until I finished heating up the food” Now it was his turn to hug you first. He sat on the stool and pulled you by your shirt and wrapped his arms around your waist. He stared at you with his doe eyes until you finished drinking and placing the glass on the counter.

“Just a club meeting but I didn’t sleep last night. I had to finish the powerpoint and afterwards, I went to the library to finish off somethin’. Jimin and Tae was with me though, no worries. They dropped me home too so.” You sighed and look at him.

“That was the meeting you were talking about right? How was it? How’d it go?” He asked

“Remember the man I told you about?” He hummed in response “Well, he seemed really impressed with my presentation and the art display we made and he spoke about visiting again,” You began playing with the long strands of his fluffy, wavy hair “He said that he’ll think about doing a workshop, all expenses paid, for learning art techniques and maybe even visiting the national museum”

“I’m proud of you, ____. I know you worked hard for that. You know, being the Co-President of the Art Club.” He gushes as he rubbed circle with his thumb on your waist.

“Oh my– stop, let me get changed” You tapped his chest and leaned forward to peck his nose. 

You walked out the kitchen and headed to the bedroom and stripped to your underwear. You grabbed a towel heading to the bathroom for a quick shower. You gargled with some mouthwash and change into some boy shorts and Jungkook’s oversized sweatshirt.  

---------

“____, the table’s ready!”

“Coming, coming!”

You skipped to the kitchen and sat on the high stool opposite of Jungkook’s. You both ate dinner and shoving the last chunk of carrot into your mouth, you stacked the dishes and placed them in the sink.

“Are you scheduled to play tonight?” You asked turned your head to him as you washed the utensils.

“Yeah, Hyung said to meet at the subway. I’ll probably head out at around 30 35 mins from now?” He said questioningly, turning to look at the wall clock. It was currently 7:50 PM.

“Yup, in 30 mins or so– oh and please don’t wait up for me again. Am not sure when I’m coming but I’ll come home before it hits 1, okay?” He informs you while he removes his top and heads to the bathroom.

A little story of Jungkook and Seokjin’s relationship, Seokjin is Jungkook’s good friend who helped him move to Daegu. Jungkook and Seokjin were pretty much like roommates before you came into the picture. Besides being roommates, the pair were performers at the local bar.

That’s also how you met Jungkook. You saw him and Seokjin performing a ballad when you were with your group of friends. Eunbi, your close friend and also Seokjin’s girlfriend, introduced you to them that same night. You thought he was very attractive–like duh, who wouldn’t? You both talked and got to know some things about each other and it led to both of you exchanging numbers, texting often, meeting up for coffee or lunch. Several months later, that’s when he decided to ask you to make it official. You would visit their apartment often; it can be whenever they practiced ballads and their self-composed songs or you guys decide to have a movie night with Seokjin and Eunbi. For others, it may sound like the relationship was rushed for deciding to live together 1 year and 3 months into the relationship. It didn’t feel wrong though–as cliche as it sounds. You felt that this new start was something just like you imagined it would be.

You were snapped out of your thoughts when Jungkook bent down to grab his bag that was next to you and to kiss your forehead.

“I’m heading out.” He slings the big black backpack on and walked towards the door. He stood by the front of the door struggling to put on his sneakers. “Sleep early my love” he sang stretching out each syllable. You giggled at the soft curse he did when he nearly stumbled over the slippers behind him.

“Take care,” You turned your head to look at him and to surprise you noticed his outfit.  ��Oh my.. Please tell me you have a light shirt in your bag. You really gotta stop wearing all black. It’s too dark outside kook. Trust me, I’ll really buy you some twinkle toes” You said worriedly, remembering the incident that almost happened a few days ago. Stupid driver + Late night + Boyfriend in dark clothing + Walking = Not a good combination.

“Don’t worry, _____. Look, I got the shoes with the light reflectors. It’s not twinkle toes but it’s something” He smugly said with hands on his hips. You couldn’t help but laugh at him.

“Okay, love you, text me if anything. Go sleep early for real, it’s an order”

“Love you too” You said sending him a flying kiss, to which he pretended to catch and smack on his cheek before he closed the door.

You decided to get ready for bed. You turned off the lights in the living room, kitchen and the mini hallway. You walked in the bathroom to do your skin care and brush your teeth. You walked in the bedroom while using your phone, checking for updates on your social media. Peeling the covers open, you laid down and tucked yourself in. You set an early alarm for the next day and put your phone down. You stared at the wall, deep in thought. You were reminded of the familiar face you saw when you were at the library. Yes, it’s been almost roughly 5 years but sometimes you can’t help but remember the painful memories. It was still vivid to you. You rubbed your face with your hands.

“I can’t believe you would do something like that. Do you not trust me?”

“___, What the fuck are you talking about? I trust you! Why are yo-” You scoffed.

“What do you mean, what the fuck I’m talking about, you know damn well what the fuck I’m talking about.” You turned to face him.

“____.” He calmly looks at you and held your arm but you pulled away.

“Why the fuck would you send threats to my classmate? I told you we were just doing a project and it’s not like we were alone… I don’t even know him that well for you to accuse me of something”

“I didn’t even accuse you of anything, ___. Stop saying shit right now.” He rolled his eyes and turned away from you. You looked at him is disbelief.

“So texting someone like ‘hey, im ___’s boyfriend, and i need you to back tf away from her. I see the way you look at her’ blah blah blah and ‘if not, i know where you live and i swear ill torture tf outta you’ is not a threat? You’re already accusing me and someone else for doing something we didn’t do” He noticed your rage and turned around and walked towards you.

“___, It’s not like that, i prom-” You cut him off

“And you pulled a knife on him…” You say softly.

“W-what? H-how… What are you saying right now, ___. You sound stupid” There was a pregnant pause until you couldn’t hold back a hiccup. Your tears running down your face.

“I saw you. In the parking lot. After you dropped me off, I was gonna run after you when I saw that I left my bottle behind and there you were…” You looked up at him with glossy eyes

“There was my fucking boyfriend with a knife on my classma–” You jokingly said, with enthusiasm, as you turned around waving your arms towards your boyfriend as if you were talking to an audience. You nervously chuckled at the situation. You were in disbelief that you couldn’t even finish your sentence. You choked back the sob.  

That night was when you realized your boyfriend was fucking crazy. He was out of his mind. It was just like what those movies would talk about when the lead character has a girlfriend and she’s literally crazy; doing anything to get his attention. Except it was the opposite, it was him and definitely not you. What scares you the most is that, it happened, not twice, but more than 5 times. It’s not like how the movie depicts it to be anymore. It’s reality and much more scarier than that. He doesn’t know but you know he’s the one who stares at you from across the room of where you sat. You know, that he’s the reason why some people don’t talk to you the way they used to. It was all because of him your life started to feel like a living hell.

You shook the memories away. You checked your phone. 9:39 PM.

“That’s the past” You muttered to yourself.

“That’s way in the past, ___. You’re here now, Almost 5 years. You’re just hallucinating this again” You sighed. You reached to the nightstand and drank some water. You opened the voice recording app on your phone and clicked on the file that Jungkook made.

He knows about your story. He knows about everything. He knows why you moved and why you decided to change your life; and you loved how supportive he was of it. You can’t stress enough how thankful you are to be with someone like Jungkook.

File: a_lullaby_for_my_someone.mp3

“Hi, _____” His clear voice filling the quiet room “,I know you aren’t sleeping right now–and that explains why you turned to this recording, Ha. Anyways, That’s why I made this very special lullaby for you. Here’s my rendition to our song…”

And that’s when he started strumming the guitar.

Put your head on my shoulder

Hold me in your arms, baby

You placed your phone on his side of the bed and hugged a pillow. Finally adjusting your sleeping position, you closed your eyes and your previous thoughts were pushed aside as you focus on your boyfriend’s singing

Squeeze me oh so tight

Show me that you love me too

Your breathing becoming slower and free from panic

Put your lips next to mine, dear

Won’t you kiss me once, baby

Just a kiss goodnight, maybe

You and I will fall in love

[primeadv]

SITS DOWN

PULLS OUT 10 GIANT ALBUMS :))) 

(this came out way longer than I intended im so fuckgkdsdf sory)

How I feel about this character: EVERYONE WHO KNOWS ME KNOWS I’M IN LOVE WIHT RATCHET. I love him in all iterations of Transformers because he’s always the tired, pragmatic one of the group. In contrast, he’s also almost tiredly optimistic in some ways. He won’t get out of bed, but if someone gets shot in the head he’ll spend however long and beyond to resuscitate them. There’s 2 halves to this--the me who identifies with the beating exhaustion he exudes, and the me who’s in awe that he’ll still fight his way through life.  I won’t... get into each continuity...because that’s too much, so I’ll stick with probably the most unpopular version of him and that’s IDW (my impression, anyway). IDW Ratchet gets a lot of flack for being way too sour and like, maybe not selfish, but uncaring. He cares! A lot! He’s always thinking about everyone in really surprisingly thoughtful ways. Like when he’s 90% sure he’ll die due to Overlord and his last words are to promote First Aid to CMO (he’s ready!! god that’s sweet), and to give his hands to Whirl (though maybe a bit blindsided, he’s paid attention to some roots of Whirl’s trauma). Or yeah he’s hella mean to Drift in the beginning, but when Drift is dying in his arms he’s scREAMING at him “you’re gonna make it! You’re gonna be fine because I’m gonna make sure you’re gonna be fine”. He can be an asshole, but he knows the time and place. Death isn’t something to play with--he’s seen probably countless friends die, and he doesn’t want that to happen again. Even now, even after the war.  So I feel very confused when ppl act like he’s this mean, cold person. He’s exTREMELY emotional. He’s probably way too invested in everyone’s lives, honestly? He interrupts a round table story for Rung just to reminisce on the veery last time he, OP, and Roller were together in the same room (not even hanging out or anything, just being together one last time. who remembers that after 5+ millions years??). He started an illegal clinic in the bad part of town because he wanted to put his skills to better use! Like! LOL.  ALSO, a point that i think is unfair is that ppl think his atheism is just really mean. IT is! But I think it shows just how much of an emotional and extremely, deeply hurt person he is. It gets aggravating when he’s condescending of religion, because there’s no simple logic to it. He reacts the way he does because he’s a hurt person who’s gone through years of trauma and this is his way of coping. Is it healthy or right? Nah, but it’s humanizing. It’s why when he becomes closer to Drift he occupies this weird between space where he snarks but also tries to indulge more in perspectives outside of his own in his own dumb old tsundere way. He’s a person who believes in justice, ultimately, and religion to him doesn’t fall under justice.  ALSO, can I say that his inability to say good byes is so.. like relatable? I have rly bad social anxiety, and so I’ve definitely ghosted people who’ve been nothing but really supportive for me. It’s not because I wanted to burn them, but it freaks you out needing to, not even say goodbye, but communicate with ppl. And for Ratchet--how many times was he FORCED to say good bye to friends + patients who were dying beyond his help? Maybe, if he could help it, he doesn’t want to say goodbye. And it’s tragic the times he’s just left, these were people who ended up either dying for falling astray into insanity, i.e., beyond his help. But he learns. He chases after Drift, who he actually said, in a way, good bye to (helping him off the floor after being attacked, also I should point out that a very tiny handful of people were comfortable interacting w/ Drift at all, and how much Ratchet just doesn’t give a shit abt how other ppl think abt him. he’ll help drift off the floor bc t’s the right thing to do). He says goodbye in his old dumb way--First Aid calls him out on it. ALSO his trust in First Aid is super cute. ALSO he’s like.. genuinely nice to Ten (he helped him get a date with Minimus!!!). And he’s not afraid to call out on other ppl’s bullshit (telling rodi straight you dont deserve to be captain which, at the time, was really true). He’s also SUPER smart. Also there’s that post on tumblr that pointed out that Ratchet immediately goes to deescalate conflict. He’s willing to put aside pride and anything if it means ultimately coming to a resolution where EVERYONE involved is safe. The only time he doesn’t is FUCKING OVERLORD who he rightfully, immediately, tries to briefly incapacitate to lockdown his medibay (protect patients/information). Ok I gotta stop I can go on forever just going page to page. Also, despite my love, I can totally point out his flaws. He’s grating when it’s unnecessary, he’s abhorrently bad at communicating, he’s privileged, he’s narrow-minded at times, etc. ec. But again what I love about him is that despite all that, he’ll throw his own self out the window for others’s well-being bc he genuinely, genuinellyyy cares about other people. If only he could care for himself //cries All the people I ship romantically with this character OH god... everyone. He’s my bicycle.  ok look, ya’ll know I’m an intense dratchet shipper and I could literally write a god damn essay. ... here’s another essay???!! So, I’ma be real, I wasn’t a super dratchet shipper before. I wasn’t anti (i have no notps), but I was just “yeah they’re cute i guess haha”. But 99.99% the reason why I ship anything is all for super cute adorable fanart. and I kept drawing them because 1) ratchet’s my fav, 2) drift is super popular so I figured I should learn to draw him. And they became the only 2 mechs I could draw. I used to be way more into Scavengers + megarod. I used to only like 1 dratchet fanfic and that’s bc it was less romantic and more plot centric (still a fav tho). Then I kept seeing cute fanart, I would read posts by other dratchet shippers too about what makes them so nice? And I was yeah.. oh yeah. And it doesn’t help that in Lost Light, drift is CONSTANTLY by Ratchet’s side. He’s constantly checking up on him and holding him and touching him, like as if Ratchet is the thing that he needs to make sure, at all costs, is safe.  In Drift’s life, Ratchet is the one who appears to him when he needs support the most but is in the most denial of it. When Drift is at the brink of death, overdosed and about to be broken apart and Orion brings him to Ratchet’s clinic. Ratchet patches him up pro-bono and tells him that he sees something special in him.  like??? can you imagine how that feels? To have no one believe in you--you don’t even believe in yourself, and yet here’s this person who tells you “you’re gonna be great”. And it totally doesn’t hit Drift in anyway, at least in a way that’s tangible to him, until much later in life. Or maybe it does (hey, how do you weave character narratives when it’s been written by like 3 different ppl shrugs). And that statement means 2 different things to them. To Drift, it’s a reminder that he’s worth something, even if it’s a sliver of nearly nothing to hold onto. To Ratchet, it’s a reminder that the greatness he saw led to the deaths of thousands of people.  HEY can you imagine this person you saved, patched up, tried to encourage, ended up being a mass serial killer in the future? (have you ever read Monster by Naoki Urusawa). Ended up killing people you loved?  So it’s no wonder that a good part of Ratchet is absolutely mad at Drift. And I think if that was all, they probably would’ve ended up being amicable. But Drift also ended up being super religious and seeing the hand and primus in everything and oh my god is this person really waxing poetry on the value of life when he, himself, shot several bullets at me at one point?  I also believe they are uncomfortably similar as they are different. The reason why they constantly butt heads is they’re two people trying to escape a past they don’t want and found complete opposite ways to cope with their losses. Drift found religion, Ratchet is gratingly pragmatic, and they see each other and go “how could this guy choose to be this way?”. I’ve heard ppl like to cite the annual as the reason why they could never work out. BUT, can I point out, that they act around each other in a way they don’t with anyone else? Drift gets SO MAD. Ratchet gets extremely talkative and incredibly personal (pulled out an electro slug from someone’s spark, holy shit that fucking traumatized you didn’t it??). They challenge each other emotionally, and it’s so fucking difficult bc they’re both extremely depressed and suffer from PTSD and would probably rather just go on their dumb space adventure and look at stars--take 2 emotionally constipated idiots and you get them. And hell no, don’t tell me Drift is in-tune with his feelings bc he’s 10000% not. He uses religion to cope with a past and life that he doesn’t want to think about. He tries to re-contextualize himself because he hates who he is. OUCHHH. And Ratchet MAKES him confront the parts of himself he hates--bc Ratchet has seen his worst traits and isn’t afraid to make him think about it.  So why do they work out eventually? They realize how important they are to each other. Delphi, Drift saves Ratchet’s life while he’s barely holding onto his own because he probably feels like he owes Ratchet his own life. And that’s a huge turning point in their relationship--Ratchet sees that... Drift tries really really fucking hard. My friend Zig pointed out that post-Delphi, Drift is eating energon w/ chopsticks (what a fucking nerd), and you can see in a later panel that Ratchet (who chose to sit next to Drift) is using those chopsticks too. IT’s such a small thing, but they’re becoming closer by sharing and learning from each other. And then Drift takes the fall and leaves. And Ratchet realizes just how important Drift’s presence is in his life. I mentioned it already lol but the scene where Ratchet helps Drift up off the floor and it’s superimposed with the love message Rewind left for CD. They care about each other so much!! And Ratchet chases after him!! HOLY SHIT. If that isn’t romance, what is?? lol I kid, but it’s obvious just how important Drift’s presence meant to him. IT’s really because they became so so so close in a way that can’t be described as just friends. They deeply understand each other in really uncomfortable ways and bring out the absolute worst and absolute best in each other. And this point is where Ratchet again appears when Drift doesn’t realize he needs someone in his life. Drift thinks he can be a loner and just float aimlessly and voicelessly--hell no! He needs friends, he needs community. He NEEDs belonging, because he wants to belong somewhere. And Ratchet helps bridge him back to friends and found family.  And Ratchet slowly changes the more he’s with Drift. He reads religious text and tries to brag about it bc he’s a dumb tsundere lol but he’s trying to understand Drift’s interests more even if it takes a decade and more to get there. And Drift values him for being his rock. That’s why he’s constantly making sure Ratchet is safe and unharmed, because he owes at least that much to him. And yeah they eventually fall in love because they value each other in a way they haven’t anyone else. IM EMO I CAN GO ONE, this all probably didn’t make a whole lot of sense but yeah. I’m just so soft to the fact that they’re horribly hurt people who don’t know how to redirect their pain, but by being together they come out healthier and more confident. IT’S RLY ROMANTIC IDKKK My non-romantic OTP for this character As much as I also love OpRatch, they are also great best friend platonic ship. They know each other best, they’ve been through SO MUCH together. It’s honestly a shame they barely interact in IDW bc the small tidbits we have, they obviously deeply respect each other’s opinions and deeply value the relationship they’ve had over the past millions of years.  I’m also all for non-romanceOTP for dratchet because I can totally imagine they go to each other to talk about things they feel uncomfortable sharing with others (they’ve seen the absolute worst of each other afterall).  My unpopular opinion about this character I don’t... think I ahve one. Some ppl view my love for his as grating lol.  One thing I wish would happen / had happened with this character in canon. Medic spin off.

[readbythestarlight]

c2e41

I can’t believe it’s time to find out the consequences of Fjord’s accidental mistakes and bad decisions

lol I almost panicked when Travis wasn’t at the table like he HAS to be here for this

I like the “oh nos” coming from the rest about Sam’s ad

SAM NO

LOL MATT’S FACE

Sam doesn’t know what any of his Scottish means he probably just insulted his own mother

He’s gonna give Cad Molly’s necklace IT’S FINE IM NOT EMOTIONAL EXCEPT I AM

Wow okay Cad and Caleb can y’all chill and not give me emotions? Thanks.

B: *hands over Frumpkin*

C: “You have three or four more days you know”

B: “DO I?!” *grabs Frumpkin back and sticks him in her pocket*

I sure hope Sprinkles is alright after almost drowning along with the rest of them, poor thing

FJORD WAS HER FIRST SEMI-KISS

This whole interaction is super cute im dying

Fjord listen no pressure but try not to break her heart

Nott somehow always makes me a little sad

LOL oh this advice Nott. Amazing.

lol the clerics spoiling Matt’s plans for a supply stop

YES GOOD PLEASE ACQUIRE THE SKILLS NEEDED FOR SAILING

Marisha looks so excited

JESTER NO CRUSHING UP YOUR DIAMONDS FOR TATTOOS DO YOU UNDERSTAND

y’all need those

for revivifying or whatever

listen though, they absolutely all need matching sparkle tattoos someday though I want it real bad

OOO are they gonna do pirate shit??? Attack the ship and steal stuff?

This is a test if I ever saw one

Guys don’t do it please it’s such a bad idea

I just feel like Avantica is testing Fjord with basically everything

Guys please just don’t

Cad’s right it’s a bad decision

FJORD

YOU

FUCKING

IDIOT

FJORD IS A FJUCKING FJOOL

this is such a bad idea

Jester giving him the salty shoulder

“I feel like this is somehow connected to your previous bad decisions” yes Cad please keep shaming him

lol Not going crazy with the canon stuff

oh damn fjord

lol buddy Nott doesn’t even need that anymore goofy boy

Sam’s gonna roll really bad and Nott’s gonna hit the ship I can feel it

A NAT 1

okay it didn’t fire okay

Nott darling you’re going to blow up your own ship

“fire boy! go, gogo!”

“Alright, so you owe us a canon.”

Oh lord

20 thank god

SHIIIIIIIPS

They’re gonna end up with wanted posters when they get back to shore

Fjord honey what are you doing this isn’t even like you. Is this about gaining Avantica’s trust? At what cost??

Caduceus the Cool Calm Guy

God this is just… so bad

I’m serious they’re going to end up being wanted criminals

fjord

why the fuck did you give him your real name

Caduceus is the only smart one, hiding his face

stop using you’re real names Fjord for fuck’s sake be smart

Caleb plz stop

oh god guys this isn’t worth the trouble

this is gonna be so bad im so on edge

this is where the fight will break out

Jester what are you going to do oh no

Poor Liab

JESTER YOU CANT TATTOO SOMEONE AGAINST THEIR WILL

here we go I hope you’re ready to live with your bad decisions Fjord

Are they even considering that whatever this magical item is, it’ll probably go straight to Avantica?

“I don’t trust Avantica” Beau says to Caleb through Frumpkin while members of Avantica’s crew are present.

Frumpkin being able to attack is cool as frick I like that

Don’t die Frumpkin

“twelve renegade points, one point paragon!” lol Matt

I like how Beau’s like “we’re trying to be good people” but then threatens to slit his throat. Like FYI Beau, threatening someone over something you don’t have a right to, that you’re STEALING, after ATTACKING THIS GUY, is not how good people act.

Beau leave him alone

Seriously

Somehow this was only a minor disaster. So far. If they don’t end up with wanted posters because they’re pirates I will be shocked.

I don’t like anything that Avantica approves of. I don’t trust her.

She knows. She so knows they’re hiding something.

Caleb so cute talking about cats and books

They need to not look right now. They need to put it in the bag and leave it until they get far away from Avantica.

PAPERRRR

The Not There Fairy, cousin to the Metagaming pigeon

Ohhhh Beau you gonna get a tattoo like Molly’s??

Okay… darling… but maybe not an eye though that just seems like it’s inviting trouble

“But you know he’s dead” WOW

IT’S THE BARBIE RAPUNZEL PAINTBRUSH

Jester. I’m begging you. Save that paint for when y’all actually need a door.

(Also @Taliesin just tell us all what Molly would think of it please Inquiring Minds want to know)

Let Caduceus have the shield

I hope you all feel like guilty fucks tbh that was just not necessary

Oh no mediocre perception check….

Beau please don’t try sneaking into her office my god that’s a terrible idea

lol Laura you little shit xD

“You should seduce her” and Fjord’s over here like lol right uh sure totally that’s a good idea uhhuh

B: “I think if we don’t do anything, it means your eventual demise.”

F: “Well that’s… fucking dark.”

At least they’re finally thinking and really really realizing how bad things are for them right now.

Cad: “If we want to find the ship I think I can help.”

F: “With the seducing?!”

Cad: “What…? no!”

Beau really wants to seduce Avantica.

Caduceus with his naps. He is me.

Fjord and Caleb conference! It’s been a while.

MMMM I LIKE THIS

“Have you ever sacrificed anything to achieve a greater goal?” OHHH FJORD IF YOU ONLY KNEW

Talking about Papa Widogast

“I have tried to live up to the man that he was, and I have… largely failed, but I picked up what I could.” IT’S FINE IM NOT CRYING (yeah i am).

“I think traveling with all of you has emboldened me some. I was alone for a long time. And I… I like this group. I like traveling with you, Fjord.”

Okay Fjord what are you trying to get at now?

FJORD TRUSTING CALEB TO WATCH HIS BACK WITH AVANTICA my heart

oh.

“can i count on you to… right the ship, if need be?”

oh i don’t like the sound of that at all.

I don’t like this conversation

What is Fjord asking? That Caleb take him out if need be? That he makes sure the group gets out if Avantica manages to kill Fjord?

THE TRAVELER

I don’t trust him at all

J: “We’re pirates”

TT: “I know. :)”

TT: “That seed of chaos” DO NOT LIKE

“Well there are many different enchantments—“ RED FLAG RED FLAG BIG RED FLAG

he’s such a creep i hate him someone protect jester from him

he has literally gotten more and more creepy every fucking time

this is absolutely a sinister voice Matt is using too

“Preferably where it will be the least expected… and the creepiest to find” okay that was kinda funny

“the time is coming soon when you will meet the rest of your brethren” DO NOT LIKE

Like I’m not sure he’s EVIL but he creeps me out and I don’t like him

Fjord dream Fjord dream Fjord dream

Fjord dreaming about them bare naked ladies.

From ocean to sky to ocean again.

I don’t think I like this.

Watching, learn, reward.

Nope don’t like.

Smart move grabbing the map

But shit, did Avantica see the same place? If she was in the dream too I bet she did.

Nott, my darling, can you not

LOL

MATT YOU TRICKSTER

a handful of pepper made into a pepper bolt

“The Revelry” oh lord it’s a pirate colony with a court of captains or something isn’t it. Like in PotC3.

Or like Tortuga.

“The Plank King” I KNEW IT

pirate court

Avantica is absolutely gonna challenge the Plank King?

“Welcome to Dark Town” thanks Matt

I’m loving all this history/lore stuff Matt is so good at this kind of thing.

“Takes some notes” I do NOT like that

Poor Orli and the crew.

I thought for sure Avantica was gonna stab Gimati.

Caduceus really wanted to have some Words with Gimati.

B: “Marius the Mariner…. LePua…. LePain….?”

Cad: “That was really good, do me! :D”

B: “Caduceus the… Juices…?”

Listen, Fjord, guys, you owe these people. You hired them and then dragged them into SO MUCH SHIT you didn’t tell them about. And you can’t just leave them here, or refuse to pay them

Like you hired all these people and dragged them into your shit and now you're like "you can keep working for no extra money or you can stay here on pirate island" wow Fjord I’m massively unimpressed. Like I know the whole moral leanings of the whole group have been shifty but come on. This is really not cool.

“By the way, you guys are members of the Revelry.”

So first they joined a crime lord's syndicate and now they joined a pirate gang

*insert faceplam gif here*

Uh-oh…

James Tybalt, assistant to the Plank King

lol Fjord is the worst pirate, forgetting to deal with the money.

As much as I enjoy having a less than perfectly heroic group, I do wish they'd try to be just SLIGHTLY less awful sometimes

Harpy jerky as a gift. I love Nott.

Yasha is very Done with all of this.

Cad: “I serve nature and I’m the maker of fine graves.”

N: “I just love water so much.”

Y: “I like to punch things?”

Hnnn why notes

I’m glad y’all didn’t ALL give them real names

Oh lord, so now if they attack Avantica (and don’t manage to kill her and everyone else) they’ll have the Revelry after them

They’re super doomed

Oh

Oh lord he took the previous king’s hair

Oh man don’t try hitting on Beau

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh SHIT he asked Beau to keep an eye on Avantica and to snitch on her

That’s good. That’s a good. They finally have something going for them (as long as Avantica doesn’t find out)

God this night was a continued disaster. But it was super good. Stressful but fun.

“How did this happen?” The question we all want to have answered, Sam.

“Good shit, Matt.” Agreed!!

[artificialqueens]

Remember me? Of course you do (Biadore) -Burgundy

AN: take this as my apology for the horror that was that last fic. i wanted to write something as fluffy as i could, while also working with trans!adore, with these two prompts:

“She said her name was Sylvie and she was twelve and took me to see her beheaded China doll collection”

“And she never saw him again”

and this was the result! i wrote this actually pretty quickly but im proud of it so, here you go! xx <3

Bianca ignored as most of the younger kids on her block were playing in their yards, some of them looking at her. She was just on her way back from a friend’s house, and wanted to go home before dark. Then a little boy fell in front of her.

And she means fell. Completely face first into the ground, knees and hands probably scraped, and a rickety old skateboard on it’s side on the sidewalk. Bianca didn’t actually care that much. Now, she wasn’t heartless, she just really did not care about this boy. She tried stepping around him, but couldn’t quite stretch her legs far enough.

Until he started crying.

He sat up, tears streaming down his cheeks. However, he wasn’t making too much noise. Some small whimpering, here and there, but mostly he was just trembling. Bianca looked down at him, and his brown hair that was oddly long for a boy. He had on ripped jeans and a loose shirt and converse. She didn’t expect anything more or less from a skateboarder. She reached down and awkwardly patted his shoulder, not quite sure what she was supposed to do. Console him?

“Are you okay?” she asked, making him sniffle and look up. Big green eyes looked up at her, his cheeks shining with tear tracks.

“Yeah, I’m fine,” his words were shaky, and he started to get up by himself. He was slightly shorter than Bianca, and she was fine with that.

“Well, I should probably get-”

“I’m Danny,” he said, smiling. Bianca looked down and saw that he had his hand out to shake. What the fuck was this kid? She hesitantly shook Danny’s hand, noticing how scraped the skin there was. Nothing was bleeding, though.

“Bianca,” she hadn’t seen this kid around, but she had heard Courtney talk about a Danny. Could’ve been the same person.

“Do you wanna come over to my house?” Danny asked, and Bianca was taken aback. They had just met seconds ago because he fell in front of her, and now he was offering to take her to his house. He was definitely bold, bolder than Bianca would ever be.

“Um, sure?” her answer was unsure, but Danny smiled brightly, wiping off his cheeks one last time and grabbing Bianca’s arm. He led her to a small house nearby, opening the door, and letting Bianca enter first. It was clean, for the most part. As clean as any house with kids would be, she guessed.

“Mom, I have a friend over!” he hollered through the house, but Bianca wasn’t sure where his mom was.

“Okay!” a voice called back, making Bianca even more confused. Her parents would kill her if she dared to yell inside, or even bring a friend over uninvited. Bianca’s parents were all about planning and strict rules, therefore Bianca was, too.

“So how old are you?” Bianca asked, not meaning for the question to come out, but Danny’s eyes seemed amused, leading Bianca through the house. He smiled for a bit, coming to a door and turning back to Bianca.

“Twelve,” he answered, opening a door and Bianca’s eyes were attacked. There was a lot to take in in one setting. The floor was messy, clothes scattered throughout the room, a dresser with all of its drawers open, a furby on top of said dresser, and then a headless China doll next to said furby. Besides that, the bed was a mess with a radio on top of it and a huge stack of cds next to it.

“Wow,” was another thing that Bianca didn’t mean to let slip out, but it did and she almost covered her mouth. Danny was still smiling, though, and he practically skipped into the bedroom and patted the bed for Bianca to sit down, too. He started messing with the radio, popping in a cd that was already out of its case.

“Tell me about yourself,” Danny started, staring contently into Bianca’s eyes, making Bianca feel flustered.

“There’s not much to say, I’m pretty average,”

“What’s your zodiac?” Danny interrupted, making Bianca jump a little.

“My what?”

“Your star sign?” he seemed dead set on finding this out, and she didn’t really understand it. She had no idea what he was even talking about. He finally sighed, turning his attention back to the radio.

“What’s your- um- zodiac?” Bianca asked. Danny smiled, and Bianca swore that smile was going to be the death of her.

“Libra,” he answered, looking back at her, “what’s your birthday?”

“June 27th,” she said, and he smiled even wider, his eyes brighter than before.

“Ooh, a cancer,” he said in a sing-song voice, and Bianca was entranced at this point. She pulled her phone out of her pocket, looked at the time and then back up at Danny.

“Um, I think I have to go now,”

“Aw, really?”

“Curfew and all that,”

The two said their goodbyes. Bianca was surprised when Danny pulled her into a hug before patting her on the shoulder as she left.

….

She never saw him again. To be fair, Bianca never really went out of her way to see him again, and she accepted the idea that maybe his family moved. It didn’t really matter because she was in college in a new city and honestly, completely overworked.

There was a small cafe nearby that she went to so often that the main barista knew her by name, knew what she wanted, and that was so nice to walk into after a long day. So after a particularly long last class, she ran through the rainy streets to walk into the cafe. It wasn’t busy, a few people scattered here and there, but nothing too big. She nodded at the redhead at the front, who started working on her latte right away.

She sat at a small booth, and started putting her auburn hair into a bun. There wasn’t anything she hated more than how the rain made it feel, so having it up was a blessing. The door opened again, and she heard another girl put in an order. Bianca started scrolling through her phone, but was stopped when she heard someone next to her speak.

“Is it alright if I sit here?” Bianca looked up, and there was a girl with long brown hair that was messy and the rain obviously wasn’t helping it. Bianca nodded, but instead of sitting, the girl’s eyes widened. Her mouth opened and she smiled brightly at Bianca. Bianca just sat there, wondering what was so special about her.

And then she hugged her. Bianca was hugging a random girl that she met in a cafe. It wasn’t until the girl pulled away that Bianca started scanning her over and looking for memorable qualities.

The girl sat down across from Bianca, and looked at her in the eyes. The girl had bright green eyes and oh my god.

“Danny?” she finally asked. The girl visibly flinched, a look going over her face that Bianca couldn’t quite read, but she was back to normal in a second. Bianca realized what she had done and was about to apologize but the girl held her hand up. Her smile was still wide on her face.

“Well, my name is Adore now,” she said, and Bianca nodded. She could tell some of the same fashion sense was there, purposefully messy. Bianca wouldn’t expect anything more or less from her, she guessed. The smile was still the same, the eyes were definitely still the same. Her lips were a bit more plump and they were coated with red lipstick. Bianca was no stranger to that product, herself, but it looked so much more appealing on Adore.

“You look great,” Bianca finally snapped out of her thoughts, complementing Adore on her new look. The brunette looked down, a blush starting to spread on her cheeks and her smile never leaving her lips.

“So, we haven’t seen each other in a while,” Adore started, resting her chin on her hand, and that’s when Bianca noticed her nails painted black. They were chipped though, and it all just seemed to fit with Adore.

“Do you still skateboard?” Bianca asked, making Adore giggle.

“Hell yeah! I don’t have my license, public transport costs too much, why the fuck not?” to that Bianca couldn’t help but smile, as Adore just seemed to radiate positive energy.

“You’re very energetic,” Bianca commented. Adore smirked, taking a sip of the frappucino she had gotten. The older couldn’t help but watch Adore’s lips wrap around the straw, but their eyes still ended up meeting.

“I’m a libra,” Adore finally responded, licking some foam from off her lip. This made Bianca laugh a little, and Adore seemed to feel successful for getting that out of Bianca. Their last encounter was so much more fast paced and Bianca didn’t really think too much about it afterwards. Now that they were sitting together, bantering back and forth, she couldn’t help but think how lucky it was that she moved.

They both sat together, talking away until about an hour after they had both finished their drinks, even being asked by the woman at the front if they needed anything else. It was amazing how much they had in common, first of all, but how much they were different. That was a big deal because they seemed to click so well together. Adore finally checked her phone, gasping at how late it had gotten.

“Shit, I need to go,” she swore, looking up at Bianca apologetically.

“It’s fine, give me your phone,” Bianca said. It was a bold move but if a bold move hadn’t been made years ago they wouldn’t have gotten here, would they?

Adore handed her phone over, her smile growing as she realized what Bianca was doing. Once she got it back, they both stood up and headed towards the door. Bianca opened it, letting Adore pass by first. As Adore did, however, she pecked Bianca on the cheek. It was soft enough that it was over quickly, but firm enough that it had left a mark.

“Text me later, yeah?” Adore asked, not so much for confirmation that Bianca was going to text but confirmation that Bianca was okay with what just happened. Bianca nodded, waving a small goodbye.

And once Adore had walked away far enough, she did a small fist pump into the air. She had just gotten a cute girl’s number, and she had aced an essay she needed for one of her classes. The day just kept getting better.

[alphacrone]

i found this post in my drafts and have ZERO memory of writing it (thank u alcohol) so im gonna put it in my queue lol

ok but imagine 

Bitty comes out to his parents but he doesn't tell them about Jack, thinks it's for the best, maybe to ease his parents into things or maybe to keep the pool of People Who Know as small as possible 

and like yeah Ransom and Holster are super oblivious but Suzanne Bittle is not, not when it comes to her son, because she is a certified Nosy Southern Mother and she can see he's been acting differently, happier but quieter, always on his phone and blushing when she asks about boys

and he talks about the team a LOT 

Jack's one of his best friends and he's just started his NHL career, so of course Bitty’s never gonna shut up about Jack

(Same goes for Shitty and law school. And eventually Ransom and med school. Dicky is proud of his friends and wants everyone to know. He gets that trait from Suzanne, she understands)

but he keeps talking about this one Boy, how sweet he is and how his smile is like a sack of puppies and how bitty's always making this boy do things with him like baking and getting froyo and going shopping and Suzanne is like. Yes. This must be Dicky's secret boyfriend. 

 the next family weekend or whatever, Suzanne demands to meet this Chowder boy who's stolen Bitty's heart

Bitty is both confused and mortified

“No, Mother,” he says. “Chowder is my friend, I mean look at him, that sweet precious baby fawn of a goalie-”

Suzanne is Not Convinced

“Mhmm,” she replies. “Sure, baby. Sure.” 

but bitty can’t disobey his mother, so he drags the Frogs into the kitchen and introduces them all at once

so dex is like “um ok nice to meet you ma’am” and nursey’s all “sup mrs. b” and then Chowder - sweet Chowder - goes over and hugs her and starts rambling on a mile a minute about how much the team loves bitty and gosh it’s so nice to meet you, mrs. bitty’s mom, thank you for the care packages and oh do you watch hockey what team do you root for my team’s the sharks they’re ‘swawesome hey are you coming to our game tonight i think the coaches are gonna start bitty which is So Great because bitty is So Great of course the entire team is So Great but you know we all just love bitty So Much-!

Suzanne is Very Much Convinced

bitty’s gone bright red and none of the Frogs can figure out why

so i think by this point Ransom & Holster have a running joke about Bitty’s Secret Boyfriend bc, even tho they know, they’re Major Shitheads

(”Who’re you texting, Bits?” “Oh, uh, Jack.” “Pshyeah right, look at that blush. Who are you really texting?” “Oh, my God, I swear I’m just texting Jack.” “Bro, it’s gotta be your secret boyfriend.” “Adam Birkholtz, I swear to Jesus-”)

so R&H are messing around in the kitchen as bitty and his mom make a pre-game pie or something and bitty’s texting with jack about how mortifying his day has been when, of course, it gets worse

“Dude, stop texting your Secret Boyfriend,” Ransom says, giving Bitty a shit-eating grin.

bitty goes super pale. 

normally the joke is just kind of annoying but His Mother is Right Here And

Suzanne perks up.

“What was that?” She asks in that slow, sweet, unassuming way that all middle aged southern ladies use when they smell blood in the water

Bitty knows he’s Fucked

“Oh, hahahaha, just an inside joke, Mama, I’m just texting Jack, these boys and their silly little jokes, tell her it’s a joke, Justin”

so now Suzanne is almost certain Bitty’s hiding a boyfriend from her. she gets it, her mama never knew about half the guys she dated and she never had to Come Out to her mama. but Suzanne is not a saint and privacy doesn’t really exist when it’s your flesh and blood

“So, Adam. Justin. Tell me more about that sweet, little Christopher,” she says. “He’s real cute. Don’t you think so, Dicky?” 

to bitty’s delight, though, R&H go straight into Captains mode

“Oh, yeah, Chow’s a great asset to the team.” “One of the best goalies I’ve ever known.” “Real go-getter attitude.” “Hard worker. Weird fear of pucks, though.” “Still. What a guy.” 

Bullet dodged, crisis averted. Bitty breathes easy for a moment. 

so in this time he’s managed to text Chowder and has asked him to AVOID MAMA BITTLE AT ALL COSTS WHICH

chowder is clearly unable to do

“why????!?? did she not like me?!??? did i say something???!!”

so bitty is trying to calm chowder down and suzanne’s all Sugar Bear Sweetpea Fruit of my Loins WHO ARE YOU TEXTING

and chowder barges into the haus, apologizes a mile a minute for literally Anything he can think of

“I’m sorry for not asking you if you wanted a drink! And I’m sorry for not offering you a tour of the Haus- though I guess Bitty’s already done that- oh! Did I not say it’s nice to meet you?! It’s so nice to meet you!!!” 

and r&h have No Idea what’s happening but they love to Stir the Pot so they’re kinda egging chowder on and Mama B is very, very confused but so happy to see Dicky’s boyfriend is so thoughtful, if not a little...excitable...

So of course this is when the Frogs and Lardo wander in, drawn to sounds of a panicked Chowder

now bitty is on the edge of hysterics, trying to calm chowder down, trying to tell his mother that he’s Not dating chowder without saying those exact words, trying to text jack because who Else would be text while losing his shit??

and then she says it

suzanne just fucking says it

“oh, gosh, honey, i don’t know what you’re apologizin for, but it’s nice to know how polite my dicky’s boyfriend is.”

the silence in the kitchen is heavy with pent-up shock and laughter.

now. chowder can be naive, but he’s a smart cookie. it takes him those few, awkward moments, but he manages to put a couple things together - why bitty wanted him away from Mrs. B, why bitty was acting so weird, why suzanne was being so friendly

so chowder, bless his tender lil heart, plays along

“oh! uh!! well, i just want! to impress my...boyfriend?! my boyfriend’s mom!!”

dex and nursey are beyond confused; lardo has to leave the room so she can laugh

this is Not What Bitty Wanted, however

and then

enter Jack Zimmermann

bitty is just about ready to curl up in a corner and die of Shame

so Suzanne does her whole heart-eyes Jack Zimmermann routine, asking after his father and yadda yadda

but jack definitely heard everything with chowder. and as jealous as he is, it was also hilarious. 

and we all know jack l zimmermann is kind of a little shit

“so I see you’ve met bitty’s boyfriend” he says in his best monotone

(now ransom has to leave because he’s about to wet himself holding back laughter)

“oh, yes, jack, i’ve finally gotten dicky to introduce me, you’d think he didn’t want me to meet sweet christopher”

bitty’s done. he’s leaving samwell immediately. already has a new name picked out for himself, is gonna hitchhike west and dye his hair brown and never speak to anyone east of albuquerque again

“oh, i can’t believe he’s being shy about chowder,” jack says, knowing that he’s probably getting himself into Trouble but plowing forward regardless. “they’ve been together almost a year now”

“WHAT.” is the reaction that comes from three different people in three very different inflections 

(now dex and nursey are taking bets; holster is recording the whole thing to send to shitty; ransom and lardo are watching from the hallway)

“oh, yeah,” jack continues on, with what is probably his Funniest and Most Terrible joke ever. “after they both got dumped by their dates at Winter Screw. right, Bittle?” 

bitty has his face buried in his hands. chowder is Beyond Confused as to why jack’s taking it this far. 

suzanne is THRILLED

so Jack is weaving this long, ridiculous story of the Epic BittyChowder romance that never was and chowder’s starting to feel uncomfortable about the way suzanne is staring at him and bitty is going to Murder his boyfriend if the mortification doesn’t kill him first

“...which is why I’m here today. to fight for bitty’s hand.”

yup. jack 110% zimmermann Goes There. 

“you’re in love with my dicky too??” “do i....do i really have to fight jack??!”

and bitty sees the look in jack’s eyes, the imperceptible nod, and the dam finally bursts: “mother, i’m not dating chowder. and i never wanted you to think i was, but chris was just trying to help me out.” 

and suzanne’s face falls and chowder sort of awkwardly...runs away...to stand in the hall with lardo and ransom

“but then why is jack here?” suzanne asks,

and jack wraps his arm around bitty’s shoulder, smiling down at bitty, and bitty finally gets to say to his mama, “because he’s my boyfriend, mother.” 

suzanne Freaks Out and cries a little and calls bob. in that order. 

but before all of that she hugs them both tight and refuses to let go. 

(years down the road, they play holster’s camera-phone video of the whole Ordeal at the zimmermann-bittle wedding. chowder literally never lives down the chirps, but hey -- that’s what best men are for.)

[fourteenacross]

so, like, i know youre a busy person, but if you get time, could you write martha manning meeting the squad and maybe molly??? -Myah

At some vague point in the future, the gang is going to a conference in the UK where they’ll meet Martha and her girlfriend (and John’s ex and his fiancée), but that’s not for awhile yet.

In the meantime, here’s some other stuff.

*

“Look,” the boy on the other end of the phone says, “I wasn’t saying that was gonna keep me from doing it, just pointing out a fact.”

Martha bites back a smile. “Alex?”

“Oh, yeah, sorry, hi,” he says. “Martha. Mattie. Can I call you Mattie? John always calls you Mattie. Or–John calls you Mattie when he’s not thinking about it. When he’s consciously starting a story about you he always goes, ‘My friend Martha,’ like this is the first time he’s mentioning you. Or–I guess also he’s making sure I’m not mixing you up with his sister? But. Anyway. Hi?”

“I really thought he was exaggerating how fast you talk,” she says. “It’s almost all he’s said about you, really. Normally I can’t get him to stop talking about his men, but he’s coy about you.” She stretches out on the settee--she can hear Jo banging around in the kitchen, impatient to go out and meet the rest of their friends.

Across the ocean, John’s Alexander is quiet for a moment. She’s rather sure this is an uncommon occurrence. “Really?”

“That’s how I knew how much he liked you,” she says. “He answered all of five questions before changing the subject to badger me about my love life. All I got is a picture and the fact that you’re loud and obnoxious and passionate and mean in all the same ways he is, but also very sweet.” 

“’Sweet?’”

“And he got all flushed and stammer-y when he said it. Believe me, I’ve comforted John through quite the parade of terrible boyfriends. He likes you.”

“I know,” Alex says. She can hear the smile in his voice, the tremor of happiness. “I love him a lot. Like...a lot. Like....”

“A lot?” she suggests.

He snorts. “That’s proof, okay? That’s solid proof of how much I love him: he’s literally the only thing in the fucking world that can leave me speechless. I wrote a fucking essay about the hurricane that destroyed the town I grew up in, I filled an angsty tween journal with my pain when my mom died, every new exciting discovery in my field gets thousands of words of dissection, but then this stupid, beautiful asshole steps in front of me and--bam! All I can do is stare and babble and make like...vague hand gestures.”

Martha knows from stammering and vague hand gestures. She glances, unconsciously, at the kitchen again. Jo is standing on a chair to rifle through a high cabinet, scowling with determination. Martha’s heart aches.

“So,” she says, pushing through her own troubles. “Tell me about you! Like I said, Johnny was vague and secretive.” He’s told her a little more than she’s letting on, but those conversations feel more private, for some reason. mattie i’m so fucking scared of how much i love him ive only known him for like a month and a half i think Im gonna throw up.

“Uh, I’m twenty-one. I’m in the same program as John. I’m an immigrant from a tiny island in the Caribbean that you’ve probably never heard of. You’ve seen pictures, so you know what I look like. I’m pretty smart. I think John has shitty taste in beer and I don’t know how he can stand to put those dumb sci-fi movies on when he’s working. Um, my favorite color is green?”

“Favorite novel?” she asks.

“Uh, To Kill a Mockingbird. Or maybe White Teeth? Or Oscar Wao? This is a hard question. Uh, John gave me The Doomsday Book, but I haven’t read it yet. He also gave me Guards! Guards! and told me if I don’t at least appreciate it, he has to break up with me, so I’ve been putting it off, to be honest.”

“Ugh, of course John wants you to start with Guards, he’s obsessed with Vimes. Ignore him, if you’ve never read any Pratchett, start with Equal Rites.”

“No, tell him to start with The Amazing Maurice!” Jo yells from the kitchen. “I mean--I’m not eavesdropping!”

“I barely followed any of that,” Alex says. “Is there someone else there?”

“Yeah,” Martha says, “my friend Jo is waiting for me to finish up so we can go meet some people. But she’s fine waiting until I’m done with you.”

“To a point!” Jo shouts, but she’s found whatever it was she was looking for in the top cabinet and seems distracted again.

“Anyway,” Martha continues, “favorite film?”

“I don’t know if I have one? I didn’t go to the movies a lot as a kid. Maybe...um--I feel like this is a test.”

“It is, to a certain degree,” Martha says. “Okay, we’ll let you pass on that one. Are you a big partier?”

“I like people, I like socializing. I don’t know that I like partying. We go out to the bar on Fridays and have a pretty good time. Sometimes we go dancing. As long as it doesn’t interfere with my work--I’m kind of a workaholic, but, you know. I make time for my friends. I make time for John. You know we’re already dating, right? And like...living together. And while I understand you’re close, I’m pretty sure he’s not gonna dump me if I don’t pass your test. Not that I wouldn’t get lost of he did dump me. I mean, unless he was doing one of those dumb self-sacrificing things he does when he’s depressed.”

And there’s the heart of it. He’s clearly seen what John can be like when he’s down and he’s still here and he’s pledging to stay through those times. That’s all Martha can really ask for. She’s an ocean away, he’s pushed away his family, and he’s all alone somewhere new. She needs to know there’s someone on his side. She needs to know that someone is taking care of him when he’s too bloody stubborn to take care of himself.

“Well, it’s fine because you’ve passed,” she tells him. “Your prize is taking care of Johnny when he’s being a pill.”

“That’s kind of a lousy prize, seeing as how I’m already doing it. But I also get him when he’s brilliant and excited, so I guess it evens out.”

“Brilliant,” Martha repeats. Her smile is downright giddy as she thinks back to all of the idiots John’s dated for the past five years.

“So brilliant,” Alex says. “And just--passionate. Brilliant and passionate and thoughtful and dedicated and...and...just...fucking radiant. He’s just--this is what I was saying, this is what I was telling you, I don’t have words, okay?”

“Okay,” Martha says, still smiling. “Well, it’s been lovely chatting with you, Alex, but I think my friend is going to disassemble my kitchen if we don’t leave for the pub soon.”

“Yeah, John should be done soon, I can hear him bitching at the doctor from here. Just one last thing--’Johnny?’”

“Did he tell you he covered for me when we were fifteen and pretended to be my boyfriend for a family visit?”

“No...”

Jo is tapping her foot impatiently by the door. They’re not even late yet, but that’s Jo--insufferable when she’s bored. Martha would strangle her if she wasn’t so pathetically smitten.

“Very quickly, then--my mother and grandmother were trying to set me up with an eligible boy back home. This was before I had even really admitted to myself that I was gay. So, while I was on the phone with them, panicked, John told me to tell them I already had a boyfriend, which I did, and then when they asked who it was and I panicked more, bless him, he pointed at himself and I told them it was him. Then, of course, when they came to visit for a family week a month or two later, we had to actually pretend to be together. Johnny was out to everyone, so there was a lot of bribery going on that week to keep other students quiet, and he was so very awkward, so everything was over the top.” Alex laughs and so does Jo, who’s leaning forward against the side of the couch to listen, now. “I called him ‘Johnny’ in this treacly voice and even after my parents went back to London, it stuck. It was a lifesaver, really--he even fell on his sword and kissed me a few times, which is what really confirmed my lesbianism. You don’t have a boy like that kissing you and feel vaguely disgusted if you’re even the least bit heterosexual.”

Alex laughs again. “Don’t I know it.”

“So, very long story short, he hated Johnny and declared that only ex-girlfriends get to call him that when Francis and some of our other friends started picking it up, which limits its usage to me.”

“Good to know,” Alex says. Then, “Hey, baby, you good to go?”

“I’ve got a script to fill, but fuck that, the ER visit’s gonna cost me enough as it is.” That’s John, unmistakably, and Martha misses him terribly all at once. 

“Don’t be an asshole.”

“It’s just pain stuff. It’s basically extra strength Advil, I’ll be fine without it.”

“Yeah, whatever, don’t think I’m not gonna call Mrs. W and get her opinion, because--”

“--are you on my phone?”

“Um.”

And then grunts and grappling and muttered curses and then, panicked, “Shit, Mattie?! How long have you been talking to him? What have you told him about me? What the fuck?”

“I’m sorry, darling, Jo and I are late for drinks,” Martha says, grinning. “We can make up our FaceTime date tomorrow, yeah?”

“Mattie, I swear to fucking god--”

“I love you, Johnny!”

He’s still cursing when she hangs up. Jo’s staring at her, one-eyebrow raised, which gives her one last pang of missing John, who shares that genetic quirk.

“Does he get to give your girlfriends the same interrogation?” Jo asks.

“Well, I’ve not dated anyone seriously enough to find out, yet,” Martha says, grabbing her bag and shoving her mobile into the middle pocket. 

“I’m sure you will soon,” Jo says, squeezing her arm and leading the way out of the flat and down to the street.

“I’m sure I will,” Martha mutters glumly, watching Jo leave for one long, miserable second before she grabs her coat and follows.

[hgfstreamchats]

Delgo

ThebesAce hello! Me Hello, Thebes human! ThebesAce oh, thenightetc is waiting to be let in Me Hm, I'm not seeing a message. thenightetc Hi! Me Night human, hello! thenightetc I just reloaded the page and tried again. Me Rabbit's an aftport. thenightetc Apparently! thenightetc Ohhhh my.

ThebesAce oh this one hahah thenightetc Oh my god thenightetc This is amazing Me Alright! Is everyone ready for Delgo? thenightetc Well, THOSE look aerodynamic. Me Don't they just make perfect sense? thenightetc Maybe the planet has a very, very, very thick atmosphere. Me The majestic colonhead. Er Hmmmmm 😐 MORE aerodynamics Me This is the kind of race the Cybertronian expansion wiped out. we were right to do it. thenightetc You know, I feel like I should disapprove on principle, but... Me They look like Torkuli. thenightetc Imagine I'm wagging my finger at you, but insincerely Me Good compromise. thenightetc ThebesAce OH HEY WHO SAW THIS COMing thenightetc I'm going to go ahead and imagine these guys are bug-sized "Explaining" how they can fly With those wings and that gravity also yikes okay, so she has a selection of prosthetics Me Was she murdered or wasn't she? *Executed thenightetc Not executed--they were cutting off her wings, not her head Me Well, that's pointless. thenightetc Probably some horrible exile thing Me One that clearly won't leave her more vicious than before. ThebesAce Scorpion gotta sting, exiled royal gotta murder her obstacles thenightetc Why do they even have that feature in their dining room thenightetc Well, that was smart ThebesAce I KEPT EXPECTING TO HEAR MARIO NOISES WITH THOSE JUMPS thenightetc Ha! Surely not, the movie's named after him ThebesAce silly comic relief, he'll be around mocking you for at least the rest of the movie Me Can we cut something important off of this character too? Please? thenightetc I vote head. ThebesAce If we're lucky, it'll be screentime thenightetc "I'd literally rather die a squashy death" So, do YOUR races ever end like this? Me I'd give up racing if they did. ThebesAce Soooo is it just me or is this guy basically saying "Look, if we act like they exist we have to pay consequences for that massacre thing." thenightetc So they're Jedi, too Me Tell them I hate them. thenightetc God, yeah, why would ANYbody want TELEKINESIS. How lame is that?? Moving stuff with your mind? Booooooring. ThebesAce yeah just LET GO of the MASSACRE you are A SURVIVOR OF thenightetc The past is the past! Me Something something mercy! thenightetc For vengeance, a Jedi cares not thenightetc Shouldn't that thing he hit still be lying there? thenightetc I'm dying a little inside because I can tell this is the movie's romance Me These two have a more compelling romance. ThebesAce for real ThebesAce for real thenightetc Pffff, if he's on a winning streak then why's he need a loan. I assume that's practically treason, or something Me Time for another lesson on turning the other cheek! thenightetc Just sneak over to THEIR hideout and wreck THEIR junk Me Why couldn't the Autobots have been this useless and apathetic? It would have spared everyone vorns of grief. thenightetc Put up some graffiti or something ThebesAce your carnivorousness. That's an AMAZING form of address. thenightetc Does that mean they AREN'T carnivores? I mean... the lackey guys Me She looks like she's eating weeds. ThebesAce or she's just especially bloodthirsty thenightetc They've got teeth like humans Me She put on her classiest rubber pants. thenightetc ...Walking pineapples Jalaperilo Yo! thenightetc Hi! Me Jalaperilo human! Jalaperilo Why is everyone uggo? ThebesAce because the animation budget was just south of claymation thenightetc It doesn't really look low-budget, to me... just ugly art direction ThebesAce this was released the same year as WALL-E Jalaperilo I have never heard about this fiom before now I dunno if it got a uk release lol Me I like how he had all day to plan this weird date and that was the best he could come up with. thenightetc Right? Show her your jedi powers and yell at her about some dudes wrecked your temple's rock garden Jalaperilo Also, what was that explosion of anger at ger. What an abusive tool thenightetc Ladies love jedi powers and being yelled at! Jalaperilo I hate this generic film already Me Daddy Tightpants bought it because you were bad. Jalaperilo Haha! I never wanna hear "daddy tightpants" from you again Me You're welcome. ThebesAce stop repeating everything! Me Please, Primus and/or Unicron, take that one's thumbs. thenightetc This cost $40 million to make Jalaperilo Tell me 39.99million was spent on hookers thenightetc Could have slid some of that towards better writing Me Hah! Jalaperilo They deffo didnt have a cinematographer or storyboarders thenightetc Wow Jalaperilo So everyone has fantasy inspired clothes except the stoner skateboard er thenightetc oh my god He should have used his jedi powers to get it across the gap ThebesAce why is he so aggressively useless thenightetc hahahah Jalaperilo What was the point of that??? ThebesAce Stupidest king on the planet thenightetc This seems like a dumb way to do votes Like, what, whoever's the strongest jedi gets their way? Jalaperilo Dumb-go thenightetc Rude. Jalaperilo He is dumb though lol Me Feed them the squawking one. ThebesAce GREAT LINE READ ON THAT SCREAM thenightetc I'm rooting for the giant enemy crab Me Crab, crab! Go, crab! Jalaperilo I hate this so much. Its so generic. The characters are just furthering the plot and not geing characters. Its predictable dialogue and stilted anination make it boring. Its not even a good bad film thenightetc WOW ThebesAce yes. Let him be drained of his fluids thenightetc "you're definitely not covered in spinemonsters" Jalaperilo He wants his friend dead Me As do we all. Jalaperilo Racism Me They have the same faces, the same body structure. They clearly diverged from the same ugly ancestor. Jalaperilo Hasnt stopped humans Me Point, point. thenightetc What, so are those ones her original wings? Jalaperilo Does she wear other people s wings? thenightetc I think they're just made of cloth or something Me Those look like the originals. thenightetc I guess they let her keep them Me Did they just let her keep them as a momento? Jalaperilo Oh fuck ThebesAce Why is the comic relief still here? thenightetc And then she had them preserved?? Jalaperilo They fucking mutilate people???? thenightetc Oh my god Me Cue screaming as her wings come off. ThebesAce oh, yeah, big bad there got her wings got chopped off in the prologue Jalaperilo Maybe these people deserve to ge killed? ThebesAce they WERE responsible for a massacre they never apologized for Jalaperilo Im rooting for this lass thenightetc Oh, just thump it with your hand or soemthing Me She has style, a motivation, and a partner she clearly adores and is fragging senseless. I'm on her side too. thenightetc Idiot! Don't waste time. Jalaperilo Pity she suffers from neanderthal face like the rest of them thenightetc Hey, it's not nice to laugh at people's hilarious genetic conditions Jalaperilo Lol thenightetc Oh, what a shame, he's dead Forever Me Exactly. If you're going to laugh, you need to throw in some pointing. thenightetc Why is there an asteroid field Jalaperilo Cause they had a budget of 40mil? Time is fleeting and so am i. Good night chaps! thenightetc Goodnight! Me Good night! ThebesAce good night! REALLY REALLY. thenightetc Oh, so his jedi powers finally become relevant thenightetc Pictured: gravity thenightetc "you JUST got back from being kidnapped" thenightetc "DIdn't we... banish you?" "Oh, I quit when I heard about this!" Me "You quit...being banished?" thenightetc Oh no! How unexpected! Me How tragic and stuff. thenightetc So what's the dragon thingy exactly Aside from something the other guy, and then he, threw for a distraction ThebesAce I'll be shocked if they explain thenightetc Oh, so they're no tthe originals thenightetc Well, I think she'll have gotten the picture after that rescue thenightetc oh c'mon, the war is OVER her in the first place thenightetc Haha, he looks so embarassed ThebesAce I'm getting Jupiter Ascending flashbacks ThebesAce let her faaaall thenightetc C'mon, it'd be so convenient, right Me No one would have to know. thenightetc she's totally faking anyway she's totally gonna murder you ThebesAce She's spent this entire movie being literally and figuratively poisonous to everyone around her Me Goodbye, only interesting character in the film. thenightetc Well, it's almost over anyway Okay??? Me And then they devoured him, starting with the eyes or whatever other body part he values most. ThebesAce THIS MUSIC LIES. NOTHING in this movie was this adventurous sounding! Me And of course, some art of what could have been. thenightetc Ah, so this is why we blame. Me This is a long list of credits for something so pitiful. thenightetc Uh What are these "Mini 'Mator of Mirth"? Please. Me Very professional. thenightetc Well then. ThebesAce so that happened Me That certainly was an hour and a half we won't get back. thenightetc I feel like this is the inverse of that one movie The one with Little Red Riding Hood ThebesAce Oh yeah, Hoodwinked thenightetc thebes, you know the one I mean, I can't remember---yeah! Hoodwinked. Me Was that anywhere near as awful as this? thenightetc No, no! ThebesAce no, it was great! thenightetc The story is great. ThebesAce it just had terrible animation thenightetc The characters are great. It's just ugly as sin. ThebesAce that kinda made the woodsman's scenes extra hilarious though thenightetc It's... I'm sure they did the best with the tools available to them at the time. ThebesAce yeah, they had a rock bottom animation budget but the story, characters and human were really good humor thenightetc See it's the inverse because THIS has animation that looks fine, but the story and characters are bland/annoying. ThebesAce also, predictable as all get out romance where Hoodwinked doesn't even have a romance, just a bunch of characters who have a bad enough day the cops get involved thenightetc It's a lot of fun! Me Sounds unexpectedly amazing! thenightetc It really is! thenightetc It's the kind of movie that has you going, "well, looks aren't everything" ThebesAce yeah, the animation is the poster child of bad animation but it's a legitimately good, fun movie, not a so bad it's good one thenightetc Here's the trailer! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RGV-cTSr6zg thenightetc "Granny, are you... a furry?" Me I see what you mean. thenightetc Right? Me Does anyone have any other suggestions to close out on? thenightetc We could watch some more SNL sketches! Looked like there were some fun ones "related" to the doll one ThebesAce Dragon Babies, for one Me Dear Unicron. thenightetc Oh my god ThebesAce this is so very on point thenightetc Wow hahahahah this is amazing thenightetc Oh! The narrator that ruined christmas? *I* want to see christmas getting ruined! also I haven't seen this before so it's not my fault if it's bad Me If it's good, we're showing it again at Christmas. thenightetc Oh, boy! Me Oh yes, showing this one at Christmas. thenightetc Well then. They're really not. thenightetc AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA thenightetc I'm sure she'll be impressed Me I would be. thenightetc God Me Dear Unicron. thenightetc It's not good, though. ThebesAce oh god I laughed so hard at their misery my throat is cramping thenightetc I mean, it would be NICE if working hard on something automatically made it good... thenightetc What INDEED ThebesAce PRIORITIES thenightetc Oh my god Me I think that seems like a good place to leave it. ThebesAce yeah thenightetc It was fun, though! Thanks for hosting. 😃 Me Glad you liked! ThebesAce yeah! Me Thank you for coming! ThebesAce thank you! thenightetc oh... automatic emojis.... ThebesAce good night! Me Good night! thenightetc Goodnight!

[somedaypast-thesunset]

i was ready for bed and heard the call of weed again - or what i hoped would be weed but instead was 10$ which is probably honestly for the best in the long run. i probably honestly need 10$ more than i needed weed - and they stll smoked me a few joints anyways. 

but it was good to speak to other people. to regain a sense of my surroundings that is not the little bubble of the 5 streets that seperate my house from his. because ive lived in that very protective bubble for atleast several weeks and although its protective, its not a bubble thats for me. i am just like hitching a ride on someone elses bubble and neglecting my real life because it sucks. and its hard. 

it 3am. and i want to like pretend im going to make some fucking plans for tomorrow an do things but i dont know if i will. i know that this is a very weird way to be living right now and i have to excessively apologize for fucking living in a squat house at this point. it doesnt have to be thiissssss bad. this is stupid. but i dont have the energy to make it any better right this second so im just kind of thinking about it - which is super typical for my life. that describes my entire being. 

the way i would describe this week has been like an rpg video game but like.. in a metaphysical world. like i existed in this world while also in another world of my mental being and continually battling shit that was just .. really stupid and unnecessary. this was like a frustrating shittly made rpg. and the first couple of levels are painfully hard where like its just grinding and grinding to be able to do anything. and then once you get to thing you grinded so hard for its lik the most impossible glitched bugged out boss but you already put 80 hours of your life into it so youre going to find that 1 in a million fucking way to beat the boss that for som reason in itself has like  17 side quests you have to complete before you even touch the guy. 

and its like the people aroud me are shitty people watchng a stream of this video game but all they see is my webcam. they dont see the actual game. they just assume what the fuck im doing or how im doing it or if its hard or not and give me vague advice that kind of rings true to the situation but they have no idea whats actually going on anyways. and like everyone in awhile you get this shitty comment about how you suck or you’re a failure and its like you dont even know what the fuck is happening on the other side here right now because im doing pretty well for the circumstances at hand. 

i dont know if im even at the final boss i think im on the 17 side quests. and like i dont have fucking time for this but i also dont not have time for this because its life or death inside of my head right now. you cant walk away from that its very serious and im stuck inside my head. 

being around other people helped. but like i wouldnt have been able to go out and meet these people for a random thing. i wouldnt. but the way it was set up - and that in itself felt like a fucking side quest to make it happen; i felt comfortable and could sit and just observe a conversation and just participate when i felt like it. i didnt sit and moan about my life at all. i was more than capable of having a normal conversation about totally neutral topics and common interests. most of the time i just listened but listening made me feel acknowledged. lke i also existed because this person was telling me someting and to them in that moment i was important because they wanted to tell me this thing. 

because they wer emore acquaintances than true friends i “knew”, i was also able to regain reality by seeing their own display of personal greivances. if i shared mine, they would have been worse. and times in my head i couldnt help but think you know you guys are actually kind of lucky. these things could all be a lot worse. you have a lot going for your life. but this is life. and they have their own set of problems which weigh heavy on them enough to need to air their issues to people they dont actually know very well. and that says something, regardless. they also feel a sense of desperation in expressing something that maybe theyre not even expressing to other people. 

i didnt take that chance with them for myself though. i was very subtle - or i perceived myself being subtle when talking about the issues ive had lately. im also really confused by these issues - the side quests. because i know these are side effects of the drugs and im panicking about very odd things that dont need such a sense of panic but its bringing to the surface the idea of these problems existing at all. like focusing on not having family. i havent had family for awhile. this is not the most pressing issue but it was killing me for hours on end. and like - this takes up way too fucking much of my day. to be sooo panicked about something you cant even do shit about is exhausting. and then like i project these feelings on to him because i want to share something with him - like i dont even know if i want to share a life with him because im crazy and this is crazy and everything is fucked. but i want something with him and being crazy and too fucked to work / find a job is standing in my way. i have nothing to prove im a functioning human. and im barely a functioning human, honestly. like it is very surprising i am 27 now. thats fucked. 

regardless if i do something or not, things are going to change dramatically in my life in the next several weeks. because i am very sure i am going to be evicted. and i probably very much deserve to be evicted. i owe atleast 3000$ point blank in my life with all my debts, which it could be more - and i have no job and ive spent weeks trying to “get better”. thats terrible. i absolutely deserve to be evicted. i am already homeless and i live like a homeless person squatting in a random apartment i got lucky to find. like this is fucking nuts the way im living right now. and people are witnessing it. they literally have witnessed this and thats pretty embarassing. 

again in my head im like oh yeah im going to get up tomorrow and just go out and look for work. but i havent showered in three days. or eaten anything substantial - out of catatonic fatigue and general lack of care - and ive pretty much allowed the cats to piss on everything i own so i have no clean clothes or underwear. i just let everything around me go to complete shit 

and its funny because i naturally wanted to solve my issues with weed. like a fucking power up to get through the worst of it and i went through fucking everything and everyone to do it. with no fucking money. i made money and still got weed. thats how fucking well i did that. 

and yet.. here i am. this is ... like im the weirdest craziest person to be around. i really think i have to be like pretty up there in craziness. like the perception people must have of me ... if its even a ‘perception’ since its probably the reality but im like .. crazy bitch over here. i cant even imagine knowing me. i cannot even put myself outside of myself and imagine knowing me as a person. i would be a super frustating person to witness in life. i am really .. i dont know. ive existed on fucking nothing. like how did i even do that. why would he even be around me for this long outside of his own craziness. like why the fuck would you even love me. its not even a self pity thing im generally like ... appreciative that i am being loved but wow why would you. i really offer... being a nice person. thats what i got in life. i am a nice person who is creative and like fairly well read & intelligent with an assortment of domestic skills none of which are really top notch but they get you through. other than that i got nothing. i got debt. i got shitty cats that even im like these are probably our last days together. i have good looks which is probably why im honestly getting by in life and have gotten by so far. and that honestly is not even something to gloat on because its not like im super fucking hot. im just a good looking person. like slightly above average. i have a pretty nice body as well but i dont keep in shape in anyway and am frequently malnutritoned. ive also completely scarred probably 70% of my body which is very obviously done by me. so thats always fun when youre about to fuck someone for the first time. and i mean.. im not even that into sex. ive been called a tease more than once because i allowed my good looks to give me what people were offering me when i knew it was because of my looks. i wanted something, but i wasnt interested in them. 

i have no formal education and dropped out in early highschool - like very early. i dont drive. i dont have a car ad defiinitely could not afford one. i dont even have a bike. i cant afford public transit most of the time. im a nice person, you know. i’m caring, sometimes to a fault. i have potential to give a very serious kind of love to the right people. but thats it. thats what i have to offer a person in a relationship with me. thats what i have to offer in a life with me. i mean, i dont even have real interests. i watch documentaries. thats honest to god my biggest interest and has been for months. its like a fucking hobby in some ways. i watch guys playing video games on youtube - a lot. i dont even play video games. i honestly dont know why im fucking watching it. this is totally unnecessary and ive done it openly and just fallen asleep peacefully. why? thats so weird. thats such a weird thing to do. i smoke, alot. i smoke a ton of weed. thats one of my worst qualities. i cost a lot of money and make .. none. the amount of money ive cost other people is probably in the thousands and that was out of kindness. just so i could exist. but i know it does help me. it helps me cope and to leave it behind with no coping skills is really unhelpful to my life. 

so where do i start? probably by going to sleep. waking up at some decent hour - its almost 4 now so i hope for 10, but this is just spewing dreams in alot of ways. i could wake up and continue to lay in bed for hours. somethng simple like stretching - which i honestly really need after this anyways. taking a shower. trying to clean my house. find money, just.. keep finding money and money resources. thats the best i can fathom right now. i want to say ill find a job but thats so complex of a hurdle i just .. i can successfully find money in trade for simple labor. not a job. fucking.. eat food. i have food. i literally have food to eat. i just need to get back ... i dont know. somewhere. back in myself. 

tommorow will be the beginning of the final battle right now. there will be more battles, more shitty rpg games, but this battle will be finished soon and im getting back to real life. real fucking life.