#im going to do my hair and makeup then go take a shower screw this

[yael-things]

i HATE being sickk !!!!!!

[twosroos]

meet the bradshaws

( bradley “rooster” bradshaw x fem reader )

authors notes: me?? writing an x reader? oh my god im lowkey freaking out, this is so out of my comfort zone I hope it’s okay D: !! it’s a bit short because I ran out of steam and I’m not used to x readers at ALL.

for this au Goose is paraplegic and uses a wheelchair or a rollator !!

main characters: nick “goose” bradshaw, carole bradshaw, bradley “rooster” bradshaw

tws: talks of injury, rollator/wheelchair use, self-doubt, a few sex jokes/references to sex and/or sexual actions but no “on page descriptions”

Despite Carole and Nick living in San Diego, you’d never actually met them face to face. And, despite Bradley promising you that his parents would love you, you felt absolutely terrified. Goose was regarded as one of the best RIOs Top Gun had seen-- according to Hondo and Warlock, so you thought it was natural to be terrified of the man. Okay, maybe it wasn’t, because you’d heard such nice things about him, but all you could think is that you’d somehow screw this up.

This was a huge deal for Bradley, who you’d only been dating for about a month now-- since the mission was over and your squadron was stationed somewhere away from his, so you could date without being reprimanded by the higher-ups. No fraternization was a pretty good rule, but damn hard to follow.

But as the weeks had winded down, Penny had called you about having a party at her house for the pilots and her family, since the medal ceremony and dinner would be the day after. You’d agreed, even after feeling all party and ceremony-ed out before you found out the Bradshaws were gonna be there.

You were totally, perfectly, normal and not absolutely dreading your meeting with them. Everything was normal, and fine, and no you were not about to cry over this stupid dinner. There was no reason to be so stupidly stressed!

To distract yourself from spiraling-- and to make sure you were on time, you slipped on a modest but very flattering baby blue floral sundress, one you knew Bradley adored and one that made you feel good. It hugged you perfectly, and was loose at exactly the right points, making you look like a runway model (as you boyfriend had said before trying to slip his hands under the skirt a few nights prior) You had chosen the bathroom as your getting ready area, Bradley taking the bedroom because really all he had to do after his shower was change.

You pinched the dresses fabric, unrolling it from where it had tucked in on itself when you’d slipped it on as there were three knocks place on the bathroom door. Once the skirt was settled and modest, you nodded to yourself.

“Come in, hon.” You called, leaning across the sink to put in these beautiful golden set stud diamond earrings Bradley had gotten you for your birthday only a few weeks back. As soon as Bradley could see you he wolf whistled, leaning next to you to kiss your cheek as he wrapped an arm around you lazily.

“You look amazing, baby.” He murmured against your skin, kissing your cheek again, then lower to your neck, and then your collarbone, and you laughed.

“Maybe later, Bradley.” You took one hand to gently place on his neck, pushing him back from leaving any stray love bites on your skin. He awed softly, jokingly pouting, before quickly pressing a happy chaste kiss to your lips as he slipped behind you, moving to his side of the double vanity in your bathroom. Newly renovated thanks to you.

“My mom is so excited.” He comments as he grabs some gel to put in his hair, you smile softly, watching as he styles himself for a moment before rummaging through your makeup bag to grab your lipstick from the counter. It was Bradley’s favorite shade, a dark pink color that complimented your skin beautifully.

“I’m more nervous than I thought I would be.” You sigh, leaning across the vanity again to apply your lipstick. It was just going to be a dinner at Penny’s house, with Maverick and the rest of the squadron to celebrate their successful mission. You shouldn’t have been as stressed as you were, it was stupid to be so stressed. But you felt seconds away from a breakdown.

It was getting harder to see through glassy eyes, and you had to quickly finish up your lipstick and blink away your tears forcibly. Though, you can't hide anything, because Bradley pauses when he sees your tense face and turns, wiping his hands off on a towel before gently grabbing your face,

“Hey, relax,” He murmurs, “I promise it’ll be okay. My mom can be a lot when she’s excited but she says and does everything with love. Every single day this week she’s been asking me if you’re coming and she’s-- according to my dad, atleast, been dying to meet you since I told them we were dating.”

“But what if something goes wrong?” You blink up at him, trying not to cry, “What if they hate me? Or think I don’t deserve you?” 

He frowns at your tears, leaning down to give you a soft kiss to attempt to cheer you up, it doesn’t work as well as he thought, “My mom already loves you, and I promise, If Maverick likes you, my dad will too, I promise.” 

You sigh, wringing your hands out, “okay, fine.”

“Yes.” He says, grinning as he adjusts your necklace so it lays flat on your neck, “It’s fine. Everything's a-okay.”

--

Bradley’s blue Bronco rumbled to a stop, the old engine clicking as Bradley turned the key and sat back for a moment. Then he turned to look at you with a soft, goofy, smile as he grabbed your hand off the shifter and kissed your knuckles. Something he always did after driving with you, or at any red light.

“Ready to meet the Bradshaws?” He asked, though it wasn’t really like you had a choice. He was clearly so excited, by the way his grin made his eyes crinkle fully, and he let out a giddy laugh.

“Yes, I’m ready.” you reply even though you very much aren’t ready to meet his parents. He grins even bigger somehow, giving you a quick kiss, before slipping out of his door. You lean down to collect your bags, your purse full of your swimsuits for later in the night after dinner, as he opens the door to let you out. As the door swings open, he hold out his hand and you gratefully take it as he helps you hop out of the Bronco and onto the street. As you look you can see Maverick’s bike parked behind Penny’s car with Phoenix’s Pontiac, Hangman’s truck, and Payback’s SUV all in a line parked behind an old Ford pickup. So, hopefully, everyone else was already here, nd it would help you alleviate any awkwardness.

Your stomach twists at the sound of loud laughter from the back deck you don’t recognize. It’s feminine, and not Phoenix’s low cackle, Amelia’s loud laugh, or Penny’s chuckle, meaning it has to be Carole. Plus, who else would have a laugh exactly like your boyfriend’s?

The only thing passing through your brain is how terrified you are, you don’t even notice Amelia waving from the side gate, announcing, “Rooster’s here with Y/n!”

Fucking Goddamnit.

Not a moment later, a blonde head of hair pops next to Eden and the woman is undoubtedly Bradley’s mother. She has the same green eyes, the same goofy loose smile, and even though you’d seen in pictures just how much Bradley physically looked like Nick, you could also not ignore the way he moved his face exactly like Carole. God, these parents had strong ass genetics.

“Oh! My baby!” She called and Bradley immediately flushed, making you want to start laughing, but your nerves held you tight in silence. You couldn’t even break out a smile as Bradley pulled you across Penny’s driveway towards his mother who waited patiently.

“Mom. We talked about this.” He says as you two walk up the sidewalk to the back gate where Carole stands, Amelia long gone and into the noise of the backyard and the house, which has its windows open, letting the late August breeze inside.

“I’m sorry!” She immediately says, “I just wanna meet the girl who makes you so happy! You talk about her all the time, Bradley!”

“Hi Mrs. Bradshaw.” You manage to say after a moment, “Sorry, I’m just a bit nervous.”

“Oh honey, you have no need to be so soft! I’m probably the loudest one here other than my own husband--,” she cuts herself off with a laugh and suddenly a wave of confidence washes over you since she didn’t immediately reject you, “Ugh, are you a hugger? I need a hug from you, you look so cute in that dress! Isn’t that the one you wore to that Squadron dinner a few days ago?”

“I am a hugger,” You laugh softly, stepping up to accept her tight hug as she beams, “And yes, I did wear this.”

As you step back she grabs your hands, scanning you up and down with a far-off smile, “God. I’m so glad Brad was able to find a girl like you, beautiful, smart... and so so kind! I’ve herd so much about you! I can’t-- ugh, I’m gonna cry.”

“Ma,” Bradley laughs awkwardly as he shifts behind you to grab your shoulders, “You’re getting overwhelming--”

“You flatter me.” You grin, immediately coming out of your shell at the compliments and trying to steer her away from breaking into tears because that would be worse, even if they are happy tears, “Bradley talks about you all the time. He says how much we act like you and your husband, from the singing to the loud flirting-” you laugh, “I’m so glad you like me, Mrs. Bradshaw.”

“Please, call my Carole honey.” She says, bringing you in for another hug (and grabbing Bradley by the sleeve of his Hawaiian shirt this time) as she squeezes the two of you in her arms with a loud laugh, “I’m just so excited to meet you, Y/n.”

“Yo, Roost!” Hangman leans over the deck railing, causing you all to look up, “Penny brought the piano outside for you!”

“Alright!” Rooster yells back to Hangman as the two fo you exchange greetings.

“Can we sing, Bradley?” You turn to look up at him and he laughs, squeezing your hand as he smiles down at you. When you look at him, you can feel the lovesick expression that crosses your face, and if Carole growing more excited by your ide tells you anything-- she sees it too.

“Of course, honey.” He grins, “But let’s talk to my dad first, yeah?”

“He’s right inside with Maverick, they’re making the steaks and stuff for tonight.” Carole waves you on, and the two of you walk up the small metal ramp Maverick had clearly put up over the decks stairs with some ratchet straps. Inside there’s a bit more hustle and bustle- Amelia’s beating Hangman in Wii Sports, Phoenix is helping Penny string up some lights, Payback is watching Hangman lose Wii Boxing with a grin on his face and a Tito’s cooler in his hand, while Fanboy and Coyote bet over some pool game with the rest of the crew. Bradley walks you in, Carole bee-lining for the kitchen before the two of you can make it there. Then, you hear loud laughter, before someone’s slowly walking their way out with a rollator in front of them.

“Bradley, Y/N!” the guy smiles and you instantly know its Nick based off that fact he looks exactly like Bradley- or, you guess, Bradley looks like him. And because you’ve seen his face in about a hundred pictures by now.

“Hey Dad, this is Y/N--” Bradley goes to introduce you before Nick’s crossed the room and gently pulled you into his arms. You happily accept the hug, letting him squeeze you a bit before he steps back and does the same look over assessment Carole had done.

“Wow. Brad really scored with you.” He comments as his legs start to shake a bit, “I’ve heard nothing but good things about you, hon, and I’m real glad you decided to come meet us.”

“Dad, your legs.” Bradley softly reprimands and his father scowls, clearly not liking the fact Bradley’s interrupting him. He’s so much like his son it makes you instantly smile.

Nick scrunches his face, “I’m having a moment, Brad.” 

“Nicholas.” Carole chimes, motioning to the seat of the rollator and he sighs, stepping back to sit down. You don’t hesitate moving with him, sitting him down on the rollator and making sure he’s secure before letting go and stepping back.

“Thank you, honey.” Nick said, flashing you a soft smile, before you’re able to respond, Amelia’s pulling you away to play Wii Sports, and you have to offer them a rushed goodbye as she tugs you, shouting, 

“You’re basically my sister now! Come on, Y/N!”

--

You see Carole again when everyone gets in the pool much, much later into the night. Amelia’s napping on the deck, Maverick and Penny sitting up there with her, and you and Phoenix took to personally taking off the cover of the hot tub connected to Penny’s pool and setting it up. As you guys rest in it, she tells you about her family coming up and enjoying their time in California, before you regale a story about Bradley crying over a Romcom. The two of you laugh, relaxing in the warm water, before Carole comes up.

“Mind if Nick and I join?” She asks and Phoenix beams, standing up as she says,

“Let me help you get him in.” 

You stand up as well, and Nick rolls over in his wheelchair. Once the electricity is turned off, Carole walks up next to him and helps him stand up so he can slowly slide into the hot tub. Once everyone has settled,  Phoenix says she’ll go grab everyone another round of beers from the fridge inside and slips out of the hot tub. In the downtime, you watch as Bradley tackles Hangman in the grass besides the pool as the rest of the squadron plays dogfight football, Coyote cheering them on as they rough house-- luckily this time it’s all for fun and not because Bradley and Jake actually fighting.

“He’s so happy.” Nick comments, “I thought he’d never smile that wide again after Mav and I pulled his papers... I still feel awful.”

“He doesn’t hate you for that, y’know?” You comment softly, turning to his parents in the water, “He’s still a bit mad about it, and probably will always be, but the initial sting is over.”

“Yeah.” Nick leans back, letting the water soak up to his neck, “I just wish I’d never had the accident in ‘86. If I hadn’t, he’d probably be a captain or something by now.”

Carole rubs his shoulder, “But look at it this way, he’s flourishing now?”

“He is.” you say and Nick shrugs halfheartedly before Bradley’s jogging over and leaning over the wall of the hot tub to steal a kiss from you before he says,

“The pianos out of tune, so we’re just gonna use karaoke. Feel free to sing along, okay hon?” He murmurs and you grin, stealing a chaste kiss from him.

“Of course, stud.” You whisper, and pretend not to hear Carole’s breath catch in her throat as you watch your boyfriends face redden. He clears his throat, splashes a bit of water at you jokingly, and then is taking off across the yard where you hear Penny asking for music suggestions. The first few are older songs-- Metallica, Bon Jovi, Def Leppard, then a few newer songs (where you find out Natasha has turned Jake into a Lizzo fan when she comes back with Michelob Ultras) before the song comes on.

And as the first few piano keys hit for Great Balls of Fire, you laugh and point to Bradley as Carole cheers. You realize one of the things BRadley had kept from you, his parents were also fans of the song the two of you sang together every time you went to the Hard Deck. So as Bradley lazily wraps his arms around you over the side of the hot tub, and you watch as his parents sing along you smile to yourself.

Yeah, you liked them. And you knew now, they liked you back.

[bowdownbucky]

𝐁𝐀𝐃, 𝐁𝐀𝐃, 𝐁𝐀𝐃 !

part 2 <3

summary: you have an encounter with your best friend’s brother bucky!

pairing: innocent! reader x college! bucky

warnings: cursing, asshole! steve rogers, kissing, drug use, oral (female receiving) fingering.

your heart began to beat heavily, bucky didn’t care that his sister was outside of the door but you started to feel guilty. this was so wrong of you and you didn’t even want to look at yourself. “you better answer her sweethear, she’s not gonna leave.” bucky taunts you, he hand trails your stomach, groping your breasts hard. “uh-im almost finished, i h-had to ohhh.” you slap you hand over your mouth, bucky smirks as he pinches you nipple again.

“what?” rebecca moved closer to the door. “are you okay? i’m coming in.” your eyes widens, you pushed bucky away and slowly cracked the door. “i’m f-fine, the um…pizza! the pizza went down the wrong hatch.” you lie. rebecca’s face screws up. “ew i did not need to know that y/n” you watch as she walks into her room. you close the door, leaning your head back onto the wooden frame.

you closed your eyes and hoped that this was all a dream, that you didn’t actually kiss your best friends brother. you slowly open your eyes only to meet a pair of blue eyes, bucky laughs at you. “went down the wrong hatch? seriously?” you cross your arms in front of your chest. “well what was i supposed to say, sorry can’t talk now i’m making out with your brother. she’s kill me!” you exclaim, you ran your hands down your face in an irrational manner. this was too much for you and bucky didn’t see anything wrong with it.

“would you chill out? here take a hit, it will make you feel better.” bucky offers the small bud once more, you smack it out of his hand. “do you always solve your problems with weed!” you hiss. his eyes were low, he watched as the joint flew onto the ground. you hitch your breath realizing what you did, you see his tongue rub his lower lip. you almost melt at the sight.

“your gonna regret the doll.” he seethes into your ear. he pushes you against the door, you let out a yelp but he covers your mouth. “i know a way you can make it up to me, and you are gonna make it up to me. you know why baby?” you shake your head. “because you don’t want to get on my bad side. i would hate to ruin that innocence of yours.” he whisperers, he hands managed to find their way to you ass, giving it a light squeeze before letting you go.

you move from the door and he exits the bathroom, leaving you alone with your thoughts. you could barely comprehend what happened let along what he meant by his bad side. you grabbed the nail polish remover and walk back to rebecca room. “finally! you took forever.” you mumble a small sorry and sat on her bed, she lends you her hand and you get to work on her nails, she chose a peach color and wanted you to add a french tip, such a classic.

as you continue painting her nails she squeals making you mess up the curved line. “becca! your nails!” you groan. “i don’t care! why didn’t you tell me?” you tilt your head confusingly. “you and steve hooked up and you didn’t tel me?!” you eyes go wide. “what! no! where did you get that from?” you ask her. she huffs. “no, no, no, no don’t try to act all innocent! you and chris did it and there is evidence on your neck. i rest my case.” you rush off the bed and check your neck, you internally face palm seeing dark purple marks all over your neck.

“i had no idea steve was like that. i guess i have to stop making fun of him now.” she chuckles. “just taking me home my ass! so how was it? was he big? why arent you giving me details.” rebecca whines, kicking her feet in her bed. you ignored her and attempted to kneed out the hickies. as you run the marks you notice bucky staring at you from his room door, you could practically feel his smirk as you watched his reflection go back to his room. you heart raced as you tried to come up with an excuse.

“it’s no big deal i just burnt myself with a straightener.” you curse to yourself knowing she wouldn’t fall for that. “fine don’t tell me! i’m going to sleep, all this secrecy has made me tired.” rebecca yawns, you hoped she wouldn’t ask you about the hickey again because lying was never your forte. you lie in the large bed, clouded in your own thoughts.

did he like you? was he just messing with you? you had so many assumptions of why he kissed you, what bothered you the most was that you had steve. steve was a jock and you were an outcast, you didn’t know how it would work. even though you and steve hadn’t officially said you were together, you still respected him and wanted to be faithful.

the next morning at school, you kept your head down and didn’t talk to anyone for the most part. no one really seems to notice because you were kind of a nobody. you sat in your forensics class, jotting down notes here and there. you stop writing when you feel a hand creep up your thigh. you turn your head toward steve, he kept a straight face and didn’t acknowledge how unamused you were.

“what are you doing?” you whisper. steve’s hand tries to travel up your skirt but you close your legs firmly. “steve!” he turns to you. “we’re in the middle of class.” you point out. “i’m sorry you know i can’t resist you baby. let me make it up to you but taking you out after homecoming.” you hault yourself as you almost roll your eyes at him. steve could be pushy sometimes especially when it came to losing your virginity to him. you hated that rebecca told him that, now he wouldn’t leave you alone.

“oh really.” you say pretending to be intrigued. “the guys and i bought hotel rooms for tonight and we get to bring a special girl along. and you know since your my favorite girl, i thought we could go together and have fun. go swimming, watch movies, kiss, cuddle, the whole nine and maybe some other stuff if you want.” you remove his hand from your thigh and continue writing notes. “i told you steve i’m not ready for that stuff yet.”

steve huffs, returning back to the lesson. your virginity wasn’t something that you kept sacred but you wanted you first time to be meaningful and steve hadn’t even asked you to be his girlfriend yet so your answer would always be no if he asked. when school ended you took the bus home, you quickly packed a bag full of makeup, hair supplies and your clothes for homecoming. you checked the time, almost cursing yourself seeing how you were going to be late to rebecca’s house.

you ran as fast as you could to the barnes’ house, you could practically feel the lecture rebecca was going to give you. luckily, you live a few blocks down from the barnes so it wouldn’t be too long of a walk/run. when you arrived at the barnes’ you quickly rang the doorbell. the door opens’ revealing a shirtless bucky who looked like he just got out of the shower. “can i help you?” he smirks looking down on you.

“becca t-told m-me to come, for homecoming.” you gulped attempting to maintain eye contact. his couldn’t help but peek at his glistened abs, you really hoped he didn’t catch on to you checking him out. before he could let out a snarky comment rebecca came gritting down the stairs with curlers in her hair. “there you are! y/n your late and we only have three hours to get ready.” you pushed pass bucky and ran up the stairs.

bucky watched at how nervous you were, it was like the fuel he ran on. rebecca closed her door and pushes you onto her vanity chair. “please tell me i have creative freedom tonight!” rebecca pleads with her big blue eyes staring at you. you sigh and nod. she kisses your forehead before beginning your makeup.

after a few hours of prodding, poking, blending, and brushing, rebecca finally finished your makeup and hair. normally you wouldn’t wear makeup because you didn’t know how to do it very well but when you did have it on you truly looked like a princess. “now carefully get into your dress y/n, i swear to god if you mess up an eyelash i will kill you.” she threatens you with her high pitched voice. you removed your jeans and shirt revealing your body, you quickly unzipped the dress as you start to compare your body to rebecca’s. becca was tall and slim while you were a little curvy. you had a small tummy with stretchmarks and she had a flat tummy with a slender waist. your best friend was beautiful and you didn’t want to see mom jealous, so you put up a front and delt with it.

you and rebecca were finally dressed, rebecca looked stunning in her white and pink dress. with the help of rebecca and mrs.barnes, you had pick a pale green dress, the curve of the dress fit you like a glove. the creases on the dress made you look more mature and sexier. you were never use to being sexy so the look on your face made rebecca freak out. “you totally hate it, i knew we should’ve gone with the black dress.” you shake your head. “n-no! it looks…great. thank you becks.” the door opens, your heart quickens when you meet a pair of bright eyes. you noticed bucky had put on a shirt, a part of you were bummed out. “would it kill you to knock! we’re girls who need privacy!” rebecca yells. bucky didn’t give his sister the time of day, his eyes were fixated on you. you felt self conscious as he stared at you long and hard. “mom and dad are going to a banquet dinner in manhattan. they won’t be back until tomorrow.” he tells rebecca. she crossed her arms in confusion. “what? no! i was supposed to have the car tonight. how the hell are we supposed to get to hoco?” rebecca flings her arms up dramatically.

bucky chuckles at his sister’s agony. “wait!” you spoke up as bucky was about to walk away. “c-can y-ou drive us?” you ask quietly. rebecca pulled your arm. “are you crazy? do you know what people say if we shows up to homecoming in a pickup truck?” rebecca vocalized. you couldn’t care less what people had to say, you just wanted and excuse to be see bucky. “becca this is important to you and even you said yourself we had to be there under any circumstances.”

rebecca whines. “fine but you’re dropping us off a block away. i need to retouch my hair, you’ve made me stress away the curls.” you watched as she pushes past bucky, leaving the two of you. you stare at him for a second then turn around, attempting to act uninterested. “you know you should skip this whole homecoming thing altogether.” bucky told you. “what! no, this is important to becca and i promised her i’d be there.” you felt his presence behind you, your back was pressed to his front. “come on doll, you never seemed like the type to be into this stuff anyway. i have a few places we could go instead. wouldn’t that be way more fun.” he was baiting you and hell, you were falling for it very hard. he pushed your hair to the side, laying a kiss on your shoulder. his hand cupped your waist, pulling you as close as you could get.

his pressed more kisses up your neck, he liked testing you, he would make you beg for it if you gave him the chance. “c’mom dollface, don’t you wanna have fun with me?” you almost gave him a nod but refrained. “i should go help rebecca, see you in a few james.” you walk away smiling to yourself, you won this round of the game but best believe, bucky was going to win the next level.

you sat in between bucky and rebecca once more, y’all were currently picking up nathan and steve, your dates for the evening. “you look beautiful beck.” nathan smiles at his girlfriend. rebecca left you in the front with bucky so she could kiss her boyfriend more. steve walks to the front car door but bucky locks him out. “hey man, open the door.” steve groans. the two had seem to have history and now you were going to be in between it. “you know the rules big guy, no douches in the front seat.” bucky smirks. “then why are you sitting up here asshole?” steve sarcastically jokes. rebecca huffed from the back, leaning in the front of the seat. “hey dickheads, we don’t have time for this, have your cat fight after hoco. let’s go!” she demands. steve huffs, taking a seat next to the couple who had no problem with pda.

the ride to the school was pretty silent except for the rock music playing from the radio. you stared out of the window, you could tell bucky was mad because of how tight he was holding the steering wheel, his knuckles were almost white from the tight grip. suddenly, his hand was on your thigh. your eyes widened, you quickly look back to make sure no one saw what was happening. “what are you doing?” you whisper. he doesn’t say anything to you, his hand stays on your thigh and his eyes stay on the road but you could still see the smirk on his face. you tried to push his his hand away but he only moves it higher, almost touching your core. you didn’t want to play games anymore, you were never built for them, you open your legs up more, instead of doing what you wanted, he removed his hand. “alright guys, have a good night.” rebecca and nathan were the first ones to leave the truck. steve exits the truck and stands by youre window. “you coming?” you nod to him. “i’ll be out in a second.” steve walks away from the window, bucky bursts out into laughter.

you throw a punch at his arm but he doesn’t flinch at you. “thats not funny! you’re so mean.” you pout. “no what’s funny is you actually going out with steve.” you eye him in confusion. steve was a good guy, he could be a little pushy but that was just high school boys. “he’s nice and he asked me to go with him. i really don’t see what’s funny bucky.”

“you think just because the guy asked you to a dance, he suddenly changes his player ways. i think you forgot i use to be one of those guys. guys like that don’t fal for girls like you” he pauses. “all he wants is to get you under him and then he’s gonna hop to the next willing participant. god you’re so naive.” you crossed your arms. “you’re such a jerk james! at least he has the decency to not play with my feelings! you’re sister was right! you’re nothing but a-an…asshole.” you yell, leaving the truck with a slam of the door. you surprised yourself at how you went off on him, what did he know about steve. you knew being involved with bucky was bad but now you officially got your sign to stay away from him.

you walked into the school looking for steve. you pushed pass people grinding and dancing on each other. when you find steve you see he’s not alone, he was dancing with lila miller. the two were close together, you turn you back in disgust once you catch the two of them share a very tongue-filled kiss. you sit at the table in annoyance. of course bucky would be right about steve, you hated the fact that he was right.

it took an hour and a half for steve to find you sitting at the table, watching everyone have fun. “hey y/n sorry i was waiting for you but then the guys wanted to go take some shots in the bathroom.” steve leans over to kiss your lips but you dodge him. he looks at you with a confused face. “come on let’s go dance.” he offers you his hand, you play with the fork that was covered in strawberry cake. “i’m good, maybe you should go dance with lila instead.” you say. steve sits back down in the chair, he cleared his throat. “you saw that? i didn’t think you’d be mad, it’s not like we’re together or anything.”

you roll your eyes, pushing your plate away from you. you get up and begin walking to the double doors. as you enters the hallways you ignore steve calling your name. “y/n! can you just wait a minute!” he yells, pulling your arm back causing you to hault. “it was just a dance, i was being nice. you can’t just get mad at me like that, i asked you to be my girlfriend more than once and you said no.”

“because all you want from me is sex which is not ready to give to you. you don’t think i hear about you hooking up with girls in the gym closet. i don’t want to be the next dumb girl who becomes a play thing for you.” you snap on him. “oh come on, sex is just sex, why do you make such a bug deal over this?” he groans.

“it’s not just sex steve, i want it to be meaningful and memorable. i’m sorry if i don’t want to hook up in a sleezy hotel.” you yell, your faces were extremely close. “and you think barnes is gonna make it special? god you’re so naive.” you furrow your brows, what did bucky have to do with this situation. “he has nothing to do with this steve! you asked me to come to this dance with you only for you to dance with another girl and make me look dumb sitting there waiting for you. you can’t take your hotel invite and shove it up your ass.” you walk away from steve, this time he didn’t bother calling your name. after he heard you curse at him he knew you guys were not going to work this out

you sit on the stairs of the school, tears slowly slid from your eyes. you felt so stupid and used, you knew steve was right but it still hurt. you two weren’t together and if he wanted to take another girl to the hotel he could because you weren’t together. you cringe at how bucky was right about steve, you wanted to be angry at him but he did warn you.

you decide to head home, walking alone the lonesome streets of brooklynn. you were wet due to the copious amount of rain fall, you shiver once more and continue to walk to your house. you noticed a familiar truck driving beside you. bucky rolls down his window. “get in.” he tells you. you continue walking, deciding to ignore the older boy. “come on doll it’s raining. a pretty girl like you shouldn’t be walking alone.” you couldn’t believe he as trying to flirt with you right now. you were hurt by his words and you were standing your ground, well that was until you heard a loud crack of lightning. you quickly rushed into the truck, slamming the door behind you.

before bucky could speak you began to talk. “just because i’m sitting in here with you, doesn’t mean i forgive you.” you seethed. bucky nods at you. “okay.” you angrily slap his arm. “okay? are you serious right now? how about a sorry for being a jerk!” you yell at him. bucky doesn’t acknowledge you, he starts looking for something in his truck. “god! boys are stupid! all you do is crave sex and hurt girls!” you rant, arms crossed over your chest. once you finished your rant you peek over at bucky holding two blunts. “wanna get high?”

you later found yourself in bucky’s room, high as a kite. you didn’t know what effect he had on you but you gave into his temptation. you sat on his bed, letting him shotgun smoke onto your mouth. “god you’re so hot.” bucky kisses your right shoulder. you softly hum in response, he trails his kisses to your exposed neck. you knew this was wrong on so many level but it felt so right.

“kiss me.” you whisper against him. the drugs in your system had your hormones at an all time high, you needed him to touch you. bucky locks his lips with yours, tongue roaming each other’s mouth in such a sensual way. bucky’s hand roams your body, cupping your breasts then your neck. you moan as he applies pressure to your throat.

he slides down you dress straps, with every kiss and touch you felt your dress being pulled lower and lower. bucky lifts you up on his lap, helping you out of the green champagne dress. you were fully exposed to him, his large hands grope your ass. he slaps the soft skin sending your lower half to grind against his tight jeans. bucky groans, pulling you closer to his bottom half. you felt the jean material rub against your clothes clit, your body shakes at the new feeling. “god you have no idea what you do to me princess.” he moans into your neck. his right hand unhooks your bra, you let the bra fall off of you. bucky eyes your bare chest, his blue eyes darken filling with lust.

he pulls your breast into his mouth, twirling his tongue around your swollen nipple. you grip onto his shirt, when moves your ass back and forth on his pants. “p-please bucky.” you whine, your body was aching for him to touch you. “what do you want doll?” you grab his, guiding him to your clothed cunt. you slip his hand under you, allowing his to grope your pussy. your mouth gapes open when bucky slowly rubs your clit back and forth.

when he notices you like the feeling of him touching you, it sends him into a deep lustful trance. he flips you over, bucky’ dog tags dangle over you. he kisses between your breast, trailing down to your stomach then he comes in contact with your laced white panties.

you can feel his breath on your wet core. he inhales you, moaning as if your cunt was the drug he was addicted to. he removed your panties from your body, bucky’s cock hardens once he caught a look at your pussy, your cunt was glistening from how wet it was, it took everything in bucky not to dive right in. “your so wet for me baby, and i haven’t even touched you yet. your pussy is begging for me to devour it.” bucky taunts. he slips one finger in your folds, your back arches at the finger passes your clit.

“bucky…please. i’ll do anything.” you beg. bucky perks an eyebrow at you. “anything?” you nod vigorously. “you’re going to cum for me three times. understand?” you nod your head. bucky licks a stride up your cunt. he moans at the taste of you. bucky wraps his pink lips around your clit, your legs spread wide as you beg for him to devour you. your back arches more, his hands pin your waist down to keep you steady, you screw your eyes shut as he sucks your clit into his mouth softly.

you moan out in pleasure, letting your hands grip his soft brown hair. you tug on his roots, attempting to push him closer to you. bucky pulls away earring a whine from you, he slips his middle finger into your core. at first his movements were slowly, he was preparing before adding his ring finger. you rode his fingers, moaning as he pumped you. you watch as he spits on your core, watching his saliva mix in with your cunt. you felt your stomach tighten, bucky felt your pussy clench around his fingers, imagining you around his cock.

he wastes no time, diving into your pussy. his tongue rapidly worked your clit, his fingers pumping you at a fast pace. your body was overwhelmed by all the stimulation. “bucky!” you scream at the top of your lungs. you were now grinding against his face, he didn’t tease you anymore, now he was on a mission to give you your orgasm. your legs shake, you cry out for bucky, your toes curled and your back arches to its full extent. bucky slows his movements as you come down from your high.

you collapse on his bed, you shiver as you feel bucky remove his hand from your pussy. you try to catch your breath, bucky hovers over you. “who knew my babydoll had that in you.”

[violetnotez]

Okay, can we get more of that Mineta being a perv and the guys protecting their s/o from him shit bc??? Damn that was good. Maybe with like, Todoroki, Sero, Shinsou and maybe a girl?? Like Jirou?

Yes babes I gotchu!!! I’m sorry I don’t write for girls, I have t actually written for one and I’m afraid I’ll screw it up-maybe some day! 🥰

Pairings: Shoto x reader, Shinsou x reader

Original Posting: Includes Kaminari, Bakugo, Izuku, and Kirishima

Shoto

◦Your muscles were aching, your head was pounding slightly- you were just over and done with everything in general and just

◦Wanted. To. Sleep.

◦You were sitting on the couch next to Uraraka and Iida, watching out of boredom as Kaminari and Mineta played Mario Kart

◦You got up, excusing yourself from the sofa-

◦“I think Im gonna go take a shower and get ready for bed, night guys,”

◦Iida and Uraraka politely said good night, Mineta’s ears perking when he heard you say ‘shower’

◦The little gears in Mineta’s perverted head began to start spinning, a plan beginning to concoct in his head

◦ Unknowing to you, Mineta had been staring at you all during training and by staring I meant your chest and ass

◦ So of course this boy is gonna try something to see more of that

◦ Mineta faked a yawn, overly stretching his body- “I think Im gonna go take a nap- night!” and zoomed off, confusing the crap out of Kaminari

◦ MIneta followed you slowly from behind, making sure to stay a few feet away so you wouldnt notice him

◦ He waited for you to enter the girls’ bathroom, making sure no one was around once he heard the shower water start to run

◦ He knew he didnt have much time, so he fought the urge to sneak a peak at you in the shower and decided instead to snatch your clothes off from the counter and run to the living room- if his planned work it would be his best plan yet

◦ What a rude awakening once you stepped out of the shower though, only to find your towel sitting there- you remember grabbing your clothes- so why werent they there?

◦ You then noticed the door to the bathroom was slightly cracked open-there was no way you would leave it open like that

◦Your exhaustion instantly turned to annoyance- it had to be one of your classmates

◦ At that point you didnt care who saw you- you wrapped your body in your towel, your wet hair leaving droplets on the floor as you stomped out into the living room

◦ “Oh verrry funny guys- now were the hell is my clothes!?” you yelled out

◦ Kaminari turned around, and short circuited seeing you only dressed in a towel, Iida was rambling about public deceny as his cheeks turned bright red, Uraraka running up to see what was wrong

◦ MIneta was drooling from behind the couch, his fingers mindlessly looking for his phone- he needed the image of a fresh-out-of-the-shower you permanently in his phone

◦ While you were taking a shower, Shoto had went into the kitchen to make himself some food (yes its cold soba what else would it be) and was just chilling and sitting on the counter of the kitchen eating

◦ But when you came in the living room, clad in nothing but a short towel, your legs glistening, and your hair wet....he almost choked on his soba

◦ Holy crap- he thought you were beautiful, of course he did, but you dressed like that- his body physically couldnt handle you looking that sexy

◦ His body instantly went up a few degrees as he unknowingly stared at your chest for a few moments, shaking his head out of the daze, his cheeks red

◦ He got up form the chair, going to see what was wrong- until he noticed a purple blur out of the corner of his eye

◦ He then saw Mineta, his eyes practically bulging out of his sockets, staring at you, his phone out, the camera aimed. At you.

◦ If you have never seen Shoto mad- ohohoh today is the day

◦ Shoto is usually so calm and collected, but right now, he was practically seeing black- all he could think about was stomping that little purple grape into the carpet. He quickly grabs the phone out of Mineta’s hand, Shotos face clearly pissed off

◦ “What the hell, I was doing something-” Mineta started, but instantly squeaked out of fear once he realized who had taken his phone

◦ Shoto was towering over him, aggresive flames licking up his hands

◦ “What exactly were you doing, Mineta-kun?” Shoto’s voice was dangerously low, his tone filled with venom

◦ “I-I-I-hey!” Mineta shrieked, his wide eyes watching as Shoto froze his phone into a solid block of ice “its not my fault your girlfriends hot!”

◦ As Uraraka was trying to help you brainstorm where your clothes could be, you looked up to the sound of Mineta screaming bloody murder

◦ Shoto currently had MIneta’s shirt balled into his left hand, his right hand raised as flames licked up his skin

◦ You instantly put two and two together, runnng over to stop your boyfriend from doing anything he’d regret later

◦ Shoto was in a pure rage mode, but when he felt your hand on his arm, and turned around to see your face, his anger went down some

◦ But also- your towel had kinda slipped from running over, so know it was exposing more of your legs, and your boobs were pushed up even more as your free hand tried to keep up the towel

◦ His cheeks instantly turn red and lewd thoughts popped into his mind- he had to admit it to himself, he could see why Mineta was being so perverted

◦ But it was still inexcusable- He isntantly wrapped you into a hug, blocking your body from sight

◦ Mineta scrambled across the floor, pulling your clothes from under the sofa- “You’re insane! Here-take them back!”

◦ You had never seen the grape run so fast in his life- after that little incident Mineta was too afriad to even be in the same room as you or Shoto

Shinsou

(*in this one the reader is tipsy, so if your not for that, just skip to the next one 💕)

◦ Shinsou sighed, starting to regret letting you drag him to one of these parties you two are always invited to

◦You always begged him to go, but he always declined-until tonight

◦You had decided to go on your own, wearing a tight black dress that outlined all your curves, your hair and makeup accentuating all your best features

◦You looked delicious, and if he could have his way he would keep you home all night in that little dress-but you were persistent, insisting on going

◦The hell he was going to let you go like that by yourself-he was gonna make sure he supervised you all night

◦Once you two got to the party, all the 1-A girls instantly crowded around you and took you to the dance floor, something Shinsou would be caught dead doing

◦He decides to go sit on the couch and just people watch

◦But immediately he was invited to play some pool with Kaminari and Sero, so he reluctantly played for a good hour or so

◦When he went to go check up on you though, oh was he in for a sight

◦You were clearly pretty tipsy, a red cup clutched in your hands as you laughed a little too much, your hips swaying to the music

◦He looked down, though, and his stomach turned- that purple idiot from Class 1-A was definitely checking you out

◦ Shinsou watched as Mineta’s face twisted into an evil grin as he watched your hips sway as well, his height making it perfect to stare at your ass

◦ Shinsou seemed to watch in slow mo as Mineta’s hand went out to grab your ass, Shinsou already predicting he’d try doing something-

◦Shinsou grabbed his hand, earning a terrified squeak from Mineta-

◦ “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.” Shinsou’s face was harsh and his voice cold like ice, making Mineta gulp

◦Your cloudy mind heard Shinsou’ voice, turning around, oblivious to the whole encounter

◦”Hey baby!!” You drawled out happily, wrapping your arms around his neck, placing a sloppy kiss on his cheeck

◦He found your drunkenness kinda adorable, his cheecks flushing-but still, he had to admit that you could easily be taken advantage in this state

◦He was inwardly kicking himself for not watching you and making sure you were safe as you cocked your head confusedly

◦ “Wait arent you the grape guy?” You asked, giggling at Mineta’s pale face, “Your hair is really funny-isn’t it Shinsou?”

◦ Mineta’s face fell, beginning to walk away as he realized you were already taken. You continued to innocently laugh at his hair, somehow thinking it was the funniest shit in the world

◦Shinsou rolled his eyes playfully, happy you didn’t realize what could have happened a few moments ago-if you knew what he was trying to do, you would have been furious

◦He grabbed your wrists gently, pulling you in front of him

◦”Your a giggly drunk, arent you doll?” He asked with a smirk

◦You were still laughing, butterflies forming in your stomach- “I’m not drunk...I’m just-dancing!” You argued back, a hiccup escaping out of your lips

◦”Uh-Huh, and my hairs not purple.”

◦You began to protest, something Shinsou knew you would do-you were stubborn and never wanted to listen to him unless you absolutely needed to

◦,”Alright, kitten-“ He sighed, throwing your body over his shoulder, “I think it’s time for us to go home.”

I’m so sorry I literally have no motivation to write for Sero, so I hope these two boys are enough! 💕💕💕

[rant-2-me]

My mental state has just worsened over the days, though I'm not sure why, and I just feel so unmotivated and lacking any energy to practice any self care other than napping, and also feel anxious because I'm not studying enough.. feel like I'm just 1/4th assing my responsibilities.. And when someone asks me how I'm doing, sometimes I blurt out that I'm not fine, and the guilt I feel afterwards for making them worry, so I find myself withdrawing from initiating conversation with them, even though I really want to, and this makes them worry about me more.. I just don't know anything anymore, everything feels too much, yet I can't rant in a clear conscience without feeling guilty for bothering them, and thinking how I don't deserve to complain because they have had so much worse (yes I know pain is relative, but I feel so horrible, like a whiny child, who doesn't know how to be content with her blessings)......

Sorry I know it's a lot.. feel free to delete it if it's triggering or making you uncomfortable in any way... I just needed to get it out..

My lovely nonnie, im so, so glad you sent this ask. and got it all out of your system. yeah this sounds cheesy but like ive been there, with not knowing how to reach out—im proud you had the courage to send this ask. girlboss vibes.

also this ask took a while to answer and im so so sorry about that, but I didnt want to do anything less than the best for you, so let's just jump right in <[:)

Lacking motivation, god I've been there, but doing self care is super super important so here is a how-to, hon.

How to do selfcare when you’re not motivated to:

1. Be a little “gross.”

Gross is in quotes because it’s so subjective, but you undoubtedly have a few behaviors you consider kind of gross regardless. Now’s the time to do them without judgment. For me, that’s meant showering less, eating weird food combos (sometimes in bed), and letting my brows and mustache grow magnificently unruly. For you, it could mean doing something you normally judge yourself for or cutting back on activities you only do for the benefit of others. Now is not the time to allow “socially acceptable” behaviors to rule you.

2. Eat whatever the hell you want.

This should be a rule always, but I’m not going to pretend there aren’t societal, social, and personal pressures that go into why we eat what we eat. Try to shut down the voice that judges or polices what you’re eating right now. We’re in the middle of a goddamn pandemic. If dinner has to be some slices of cheese and deli meat eaten in front of the open fridge, so be it. If you have a lot of cravings and are snacking more than you normally would, cool. If pre-pandemic you decided you were going to stick to a certain meal plan and it’s just not happening anymore? Don’t beat yourself up.

Yes, what we eat is connected to our mental health, and I don’t want to discount that—but if the stress of eating healthfully is making you feel like crap anyway, whether that’s because you can’t fathom cooking or don’t have the means to shop for certain foods during isolation, just eat the sleeve of Oreos and try again another day. It’s okay.

3. And wear whatever you want.

Or, more realistically, wear whatever you can. Even if it means wearing the same ratty sweatpants for a whole week. Or month. Maybe you started all this out aspiring to get dressed every day to work from home productively, or maybe you have a whole collection of comfortable loungewear you feel guilty for not utilizing. Whatever arbitrary rules and expectations you’ve set for yourself, you can throw them out.

On the other hand, maybe you need to quiet the voice that tells you there’s no point in getting dressed or feeling presentable. If it helps, by all means, play with your look, wear awesome or weird outfits, do your hair and makeup or whatever activity might feel a little silly given your current reality. In the middle of a pandemic, nothing is a waste of time if it makes you feel good.

4. Use shortcuts to avoid creating chores.

In my first week or so of working entirely from home, I was baffled by just how messy my apartment got. How on earth were so many messes piling up when I wasn’t even doing anything but working, sleeping, and eating? I hadn’t realized it, but a lot of my small tidying routines had become casualties to the pandemic. And, it turns out, slacking on the little ways I pick up after myself every day (such as doing the dishes right after I use them) added up quickly.

Instead of forcing myself to stick to the same levels of tidiness that I used to maintain, I’ve found shortcuts. For example, I use paper plates and plastic cutlery when I feel too fatigued to wash dishes so they don’t sit in the sink for days on end. Or I stick to the same two “outfits” to avoid clothes piling up when I’m too depressed to put them away every day. If you can find a small way to go easy on yourself, even if it feels a little wasteful or indulgent or gross, it’s okay to tap into those shortcuts right now.

5. Be kind to yourself if your place is messy or dirty.

I won’t lie: I’m someone whose space impacts my mental health a lot. Typically, keeping my apartment clean helps keep my mental health in check and letting my apartment get gross makes me feel worse. That’s still true in a lot of ways, but to adapt I’ve been trying to be mindful and accepting of where I’m at. And it’s…helped?

It turns out that taking the pressure off does a lot to mitigate the guilt and some of the other negative mental health effects I usually experience. In practice, it involves a lot of talking to myself. Instead of seeing my apartment turning into a depression cave and immediately thinking, “Oh, God, I need to clean up, this is so disgusting, I’m a monster for living like this, of course I feel depressed,” I go for kindness. I think (or even say out loud because, well, desperate times), “Of course my apartment is a mess right now. I’ll get to it when I get to it. I can handle the mess for now.”

6. Accept your new sleep schedule.

idk anyone whose sleep hasn’t been screwed in some way by all of this. Anxiety, depression, fatigue, pent-up energy from sheltering in place, tech use, new work responsibilities, screwy schedules…pretty much every aspect of our new reality can impact our sleep. Some people are sleeping a lot more, some are sleeping a lot less, and some are cycling through both extremes. Oh, and the temptation of naps! It’s all there.

Trying to maintain a healthy sleep schedule during all of this is a worthy endeavor—and more power to you if you’ve figured out how—but there’s a good chance that it feels impossible.

By “accepting” your new sleep schedule, I don’t mean pretending it doesn’t suck; I mean doing what you can to be gentle on yourself about it. For me, acceptance has looked like watching some comfort tv and reading my favourite books at 2 a.m. instead of staying in bed and anxiety-spiraling about how I can’t sleep. Is it ideal? No way. But I’m not going to waste energy stressing about something I currently can’t control.

7. Give yourself plenty of room to do absolutely nothing.

I’ve given myself permission to do a whole lot of nothing. That includes getting rid of the pressure to be productive and practice self-care, yes, but in a broader sense, it also means not forcing myself to actively “adjust” every day.

Some days, I just need to do nothing but feel my feelings. Or avoid feeling my feelings. Or stare at the ceiling. Give yourself space to do (or not do) whatever you need to.

also, nonnie? my love?

Never feel guilty about telling someone who cares about you when you don’t feel okay.

People who genuinely care about you—and I’m sure they are many—will care if you aren’t feeling good, there are always going to be people who care about you, who want you to be okay, that’s why they ask, why people make rant, why “how are you?” is such a common question.

But if you do need to talk, but you feel like you’ll “burden” people who you do talk to, here’s a guide to ranting.

Guide to ranting:

1. Pick the right person. Someone who’s in the right headspace to listen to you, you could also pick someone who cares about you—if you’re anxiety tells you nobody cares about you, pick someone who “should” care about you in your relationship, e.g: a friend you’ve had for a long time, a friend who’s told a few of their problems, or friend you might not feel close with, but seems very kindhearted and a good listener.

2. Pick the right time to talk to them, so you can have their undivided attention. If they are busy—as most people will be with something—they’ll have a hard time giving you good advice and listening to you. Ask them when they are free, and then ask them:

3. “hey, can we talk? I’m not mad or you or anything, it’s just that I have been not feeling great, and I just want to rant to someone about it.” and “No pressure to say yes, you might have your own stuff to do deal with.” to make sure they are the right person to talk to.

4. It’s ok to test the waters. Start slowly, you don’t have to share everything at once if you don’t want to.

5. You never know how your friend will react to what you say.While you can’t know how they’ll react, just remember that sometimes people’s initial reactions may come from a place of shock, surprise or not knowing what to say. Their initial reaction isn’t always their longerterm reaction, it may just take them a little time to process.

6. Look for ways to take action. Don’t get me wrong, ranting can be amazing for you, but on its own may not solve your problem.

But maybe venting to people isn’t for you. No matter! There are other ways to get out emotions:

Ways to rant without talking to anyone

1. Cry it out— simple and rewarding. When the baggage is just too heavy to carry cry it out. It can help you ease the pressure and ease your mind to think straight after days of holding that frustration in.

2. Work out — easy and fun. tire yourself out and release all the frustration in working out! This is going to be so satisfying for you as you try and punch, kick, balance, lift, and breathe those frustrations away.

3. Clean & rearrange — practical and can be fun. we get frustrated by so many things and one thing that can truly help clear our minds is to have a clean place where we can stay and live for the moment to breathe. Clean your room, rearrange your things and you’ll be surprised by the satisfaction this brings — a signal of a new beginning.

4. Scribble — simple and fun. Make scribbles, doodles, drawings, take a pen or a pencil, and let go. It does not have to be “good” art or professional at all. Just draw whatever comes to heart, sunflowers or clouds or rainbows—anything.

5. Write it down — fun and simple. Let those words out of your head and just live in the moment.

How to fight the lack of motivation.

1. Don't fight the lack of motivation.

If you feel down or unable to muster tons of energy, let it be ok. Be easy on yourself and acknowledge that it's ok to have a dip, especially at this time of the year.

2. Once you have accepted your slump, get to the bottom of it.

Ask yourself, "What is the root cause of this sluggish feeling?" Go deeper than the obvious reasons. Is it related to work? Your personal life? Relationships? It might also just be the weather. Get clear on what areas of your life you're feeling the most resistance.

3. Dig into that area. What is not ideal about this aspect of your life? What would make it better?

Make a list of how you'd like your current situation to improve--and be specific. If you truly can't find a reason to be less than enthusiastic, then accept your feelings and let them pass with time.

4. Take your list of what is missing and go through it.

What is holding you back from being able to create the things that are missing in your life?

5. Get support for creating the life you want.

Do some research and find an expert to help you. Even though they love you, friends and family aren't objective enough, and they tend to give advice that is a reflection of their own life and insecurities.

6. Think of current habits that are contributing to a less-than-ideal life.

Maybe it's fear, laziness, or not having enough confidence. Pick one to focus on.

7. Address this habit over the next 2 months.

They say it takes 28 days to create a new habit, but this varies from person to person. If you focus on it for two months, you are sure to build the neural pathways needed to call it a new way of being.

8. Buy a book, read articles or do some research on this particular behavior or feeling.

Read about the common causes of this habit as well as the proven ways to bust through and work around it.

9. Create a plan around shifting your current habit.

Make sure that changing this habit ultimately helps you move forward in the area of your life that is not ideal. The energy from clarity, awareness and then action will immediately get you feeling more motivated, no matter what.

10. When all else fails: make a list of activities that excite you, and do one of them right now.

Talk to a fun friend, dance around at home, workout, watch a funny YouTube video, tackle something on your to-do list. Accomplishing something will give you a hit of dopamine in your brain. If you're too overwhelmed by your day, sit for five minutes and meditate. Put on some soothing music and breathe.

okay, that's all nonnie, I hope you feel the lust for life in your lungs, please have all my love, i hope this helped, this ask took a while, but it was worth if it helps

and if you need to dont worry to send another ask, if you like spam the inbox!! queen!!!

take care, much love my sweet honey, bye <3

—*putting daisies in your hair as they leave* mod peppermint <[:)

[spiffysixxsense]

Hello annoying best friend here to fulfill my duty by asking you to answer all of the cute asks

angel; do you have a nickname?

not really. my name is already short and I don't have a prominent quality to nickname me after. The only person who refers to me as anything other than my name is my boyfriend, but I don't think “babe/baby” really counts as a nickname lol

awe; how old are you?

24

baby; favorite color?

dark teal (blue-green? I've never found a good name for my favorite color)

bloop; spirit animal?

so because I didn't have a good answer for this, I decided to google a quiz to find out, lol. My answer was a deer. here's why;

When you have the deer as spirit animal, you are highly sensitive and have a strong intuition. By affinity with this animal, you have the power to deal with challenges with grace. You master the art of being both determined and gentle in your approach.

The deer totem wisdom imparts those with a special connection with this animal with the ability to be vigilant, move quickly, and trust their instincts to get out the trickiest situations

blossom; favorite book/movie/song?

i don't really have a favorite book, i don't read much outside of school (I wish i did)

movie: A Beautiful Mind

song: oh dear lord i cannot pick just one, but all-time favorite band of mine is Shinedown

blush; what was your stuffed animal as a child?

a little stuffed dog that looked like Kipper from the TV show, I still have him :)

breeze; most precious childhood memory?

lmao what came to mind was when i pledged to never drink, smoke, or say bad words. two out of fucking three ain't bad i guess. 

bright; mermaids or fairies?

(honestly neither but) fairies

bubbles; do you have a best friend?

given the asker, i would say yes :) also i am lame and my boyfriend is also my best friend 

buttercup; showers or baths?

S H O W E R S. hate baths!

butterfly; dream destination?

I've never had a huge desire to travel honestly. like sure i could say Italy or Greece look beautiful, but the actual act of traveling overseas really stresses me out lol. so i would have to say more like upper midwest, like Maine, in the fall time for all the pretty trees.

buttons; are you religious or spiritual?

i am neither

calm; favorite scent?

anything fruity - pineapple, mango, berries, apples. at least in terms of what candles i like lol.

candlelight; what did you dream about last night?

i do not remember anything from last night - the last dream i remember involved my boyfriend, dad and i being lost up north lol

charming; have you ever been in love?

currently 

cozy; eye/hair color?

hazel / brunette 

cuddly; what’s your favorite time period?

the 1970′s for the fashion

cupcake; favorite flower/plant?

love me a good succulent

cute; what did you get on your last birthday?

well this last birthday was amidst quarantine, so I got some candles and granola (my boyfriend knows me well lol)

cutie pie; most precious item you own?

i have no idea? what an odd question? probably some stuffed animal?

cutsie; what makes you happy?

picnics, alone time, my boyfriend, my cat choosing to cuddle with me.

daisies; describe a moment when you felt free.

I really cant think of a time I've ever felt truly free. maybe when i drove myself to school earlier this year & didn't have to wait for someone to pick me up? 

daydream; how do you want to be remembered?

as a light in others lives. happy, bubbly. things i currently am not

daylight; favorite album of all time?

gosh these dang music questions. well, Nickelback - All the Right Reasons was the first album i ever bought myself. then maybe Shinedown - The Sound of Madness (i cant pick one OKAY)

dear; zodiac sign?

Taurus 

delightful; concerts or museums?

concerts

dimples; have you ever written a letter?

yes? this question makes me feel old, lol. 

dobby; dream job?

criminologist. some way to be reducing the mass incarceration rate in the US. 

doll; how do you like to dress?

comfy, v necks and leggings. As i have gotten older i have slowly wanted to be more feminine i think, because i really want some sundresses for summer lol

dovey; any paranormal/magical experiences?

one! when i was 12ish, i swear i saw a reflection of a uniformed man (like old school soldier uniform - blue blazer with gold cufflinks) behind me in the glass of my snakes tank at the time. it was weird because the only reason i even looked that way was because my snake started shaking his tail against the glass, something that corn snakes do when they are scared, but also something that in his entire life had never done unprompted ever. 

dreams; do you want or have any tattoos?

want yes, have no

drizzle; do you believe in aliens?

100%. no way we are alone in this universe

euphoric; talk about someone you love.

he makes my days so much better :)

fairy; do you have a pet?

I have one little old kitty :)

fluffy; ocean or mountain?

to vacation, ocean. to live, mountain

forever; where do you feel time stop?

the secretary of state? lol

froglet; are you a good plant owner?

I've never owned a plant lol

garden; how many languages do you know?

one :(

gem; who are your favorite tumblrs?

@cy-ne-fin 

giggles; what is your aesthetic of choice?

sepia photography/old books that have yellowed into sepia. or fresh greenery on white marble. 

glittery; do you like anons? why/why not?

i don't really get any anymore, but as long as they are nice or just questions/venting, im down. don't be offended if i never answer though, for some reason i never get Tumblr notifications lol

glow; list the top 5 things you like about yourself

im compassionate

im empathetic (which is similar but im struggling to get to 5 lol)

im goal-oriented

im determined (once i have said goal. again, related lol) 

i guess i like my lips/lip shape

heart; silk or lace?

lace

honey; coffee or tea? how do you take it?

tea. iced, black or green really, with sugar. 

hugsy; do you enjoy people watching or bird watching more? why?

bird watching because it means i am probably alone and in nature as opposed to somewhere in a crowd of people. and i wont feel creepy for watching the birds lol

hunnybunch; what sounds help you sleep?

white noise, a fan running. if that's not enough, i enjoy asmr. if i am really struggling/having anxiety, i will look up sleep stories from the headspace app on youtube (life hack to not have to pay for the app lol)

jewel; what’s your favorite kind of weather?

to be outside, i enjoy just warm enough to be comfy in pants and a t-shirt (so like 65F-ish) and sunny.To be inside, i love when it is cooler (like 50F?) and raining. I love the look, sound, and smell of rain but it is usually just inconvenient to be in. 

jiggly; what do you usually like to do on weekends?

well now all days are the same for me, #quarantine, so the same thing i do every day, just about nothing, lol

joy; do you laugh loudly or giggle more?

i guess laugh loudly because i am a loud person in general. i have a deep voice

kinky; do you blush easily?

i don't think so, my embarrassment turns into sweat, not blush, lmao

kisses; what romantic cliché do you wish for most?

i guess being proposed to someday? but i don't have a certain dream way of it happening, just the fact that its happening is enough for me lol. id enjoy if someone (cough Elle or also maybe Michael lol) were secretly filming and/or taking photos of it? I am not sure how you'd manage that though

kitty; what’s your favorite time of the day?

late at night when everything is quiet

ladybug; what’s your favorite artist to listen to when you’re sad?

old school three days grace (one-x album in particular)

love; what is your favorite season and why?

i always gravitate to fall for the leaves and pumpkin patches. but honestly, i think my favorite season is spring. i love the newly budding trees and flowers, the feeling of renewal, the release from the horrible Michigan winter lol, but most importantly, spring time for my whole life as of yet has always meant that school is over for the semester! as opposed to the fall when the semester starts. this is very long winded but spring final answer lol

lovey; what is your favorite flavor of macaron and ice cream?

I've never had a macaron and blue moon ice cream 

magic; what are five flaws you have?

ooooo boy

im short tempered/angry too much 

im unmotivated (which is confusing maybe because i said i am determined earlier. you see, once i HAVE a goal i feel determined to finish it. but i am unmotivated to create said goals, lol) 

im nonconfrontational to a fault where i always put others’ feelings before my own

i let fear of change stop me from ever taking risks/ am anxious

i am stubborn and sometimes have a hard time admitting i am wrong

moonlight; do you prefer soft pastels, warm neutrals, or cool darks?

this depends - screw pastels. warm neutrals for makeup purposes, but cool darks for aesthetic or decor purposes

munchkin; what do you look for in your significant other?

someone who feels like home. I am not entirely sure how else to explain that. you just feel peace and content with them. 

paddywack; how would you describe a perfect date?

something that allows you to only be with your date - so like a picnic or hike or just a walk even. my boyfriend and i liked to walk around in the fall for me to take pictures of leaves while he played pokemon go (man i miss the pokemon go summer and i have never even PLAYED it, it was just so fun to be with him while he played)

pebbles; how do you spend free time by yourself?

on youtube usually

precious; what is something valuable that you learned in your life?

The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the womb. if your family is toxic for whatever reason, you do not owe them your time strictly because they are family. 

pretty; do you like to cook or bake more?

cook, im not super into sweets & i want to enjoy the final product

prince; how would you describe your handwriting?

normal? like its legible but its not pretty or cute

princess; do you play any instruments? if not, are there any you wish you could play?

no:( wish i could play bass or drums

prinky; how do you relieve stress?

i don't :)

i really don't have an answer other than solving whatever is stressing me out, lol. i wish i had more mechanisms to calm me down but nothing i have tried has ever really worked

pumpkin; what is your favourite kind of fruit/vegetable?

you know these favorites questions are hard for me lol. right now, i am loving watermelon, but i also love most fruits. kiwis! vegetable, i feel like i have to say potato lol

rainbow; what was the last line of the last book you read?

lol the last thing i read had to be some academic text, so that's boring

roses; what is the most significant event in your life so far?

meeting Alex i guess, it changes my whole life path to have someone you want to do life with 

smile; what is one thing that has greatly affected you?

quarantine? lol

shine; art or music?

music is art.

shimmer; do animals tend to like you?

i think so. Elle’s dog griffin loves me for some reason lol

smitten; do you collect anything?

not really

smoochies; how many pillows do you sleep with?

4

snuggle; what is your favourite candy?

jolly ranchers 

snuggly; do you have a camera? if so, what kind?

nope

sparkle; do you wear jewelry?

nope

spooky; sunrise or sunset?

sunset

sprinkles; do you like to listen to music with headphones or no headphones?

headphones

starlight; what was your favourite show as a child?

Spongebob probably. unless we are talking like really tiny, toddler age, then Winnie the pooh

soft; describe your favourite spot in your house.

i live in a 2 bedroom apartment, there arent any spots. lol. my bed i guess

soothe; digital or vinyl?

i mean digital for convenience but vinyl for aesthetic 

squeezed; who do you miss right now?

i mean the only person i really actively miss ever is Alex. @cy-ne-fin sometimes, but i have also grown used to living away from each other

sugary; what traits do you value most in friends?

loyalty, honesty, & humor

sunshine; do you prefer for things to be practical or aesthetically pleasing?

if i must pick, practical. 

sweet; do you find it easy to open up?

absolutely not. i feel like a burden with my feelings even though i shouldn't 

sweetie; do you like kids? if so, do you ever want to have any?

honestly not really. am on the fence still about ever having any 

thimble; is there somebody you look up to? who are they?

not really

toot; what is something you find unique about yourself?

i am as average as they come man, nothing is unique about me lol

tootsie; what kind of friend are you?

like a background friend? like i am not very social, so we do not have to talk every day to be friends. so like im here if you need me, but i enjoy alone time. 

treasure; what was something that made you smile today?

the way my boyfriend looks at me, & as i was working on this my cat came to cuddle, which i gave as an answer earlier before he jumped up here :)

velvet; are you an early bird or a night owl?

night owlllllll

whiffle; if you could have a magical power, what would it be?

the power to heal those who are hurting (including myself)

whimsical; do you prefer doing stuff at home or going out?

home home home home

whiskers; do you usually wear makeup?

not anymore, i did in high school/early college years. not I've stopped caring

wiggly; are you a messy or tidy person?

messy? kinda in the middle really. 

wispy; do you like the place where you grew up? do you think you will live there when you get older?

my state, sure. my city in particular is definitely pretty boring

wobbly; have you ever wished upon a star?

I've never seen one :(

[chaandknight]

Maybe | Roger Taylor | Smut/Angst

Summary: Breakup sex is never a good idea.  4k words. 

A/N: This got away from me. I’m sorry in advance. Thank you to my beta @haveanaverageday​  I love you. Relationships are hard I would know, but remember this is just a fic, and not the best model for a relationship.

Requests are open

Tags: Smut, angst, swearing, +18

Maybe you two just weren’t meant for each other. Maybe all the time you had spent building something together just wasn’t worth it. Maybe the universe just had more plans for you. Maybe the constant time apart had drawn a wedge between you. Maybe, maybe, maybe. Your relationship with Roger was always filled with maybes. Maybe he would come home early from a party. Maybe you’d have for date night. Maybe he would call while on tour. Maybe you would come and visit him on tour. Maybe you got lonely while he was away and made some dumb mistakes. Maybe he did too. Maybe you both were to blame. Maybe.

Despite all that you couldn’t help the sinking feeling in your heart as you packed your things. You and Roger had been together for the longest of times, constantly on and then off again. You would always make up quickly, but this time was different. Both of you could feel it, it had been weeks since you had talked, seeing each other was an entirely different question. He had sent word through his personal assistant, and you in turn had replied. The messages were short, the calls only lasting for a second seconds. It all started with his message, relayed through his PA.

“He knows.” Is all he had said. You replied, saying that you knew about all the girls as well. There was no reply after that. After two weeks of contemplation, barely sleeping in your shared bed you decided. You left a message for him, asking him to organise your moving out. It was simple. Once you had found suitable accommodation you'd move. You'd take everything that was yours. He'd keep his flat. He even offered to help you move out, paying for removalists. Deciding to handle this like an adult, you accepted. You had surprised yourself by the way you had handled all this, how diplomatic you both were. Usually your ‘breakups’ were messy, arguing that would escalate into screaming matches. Sometimes turning extremely nasty when both of your prides were wounded, opting to yell out petty, personal things to one another. One of you would then storm out, the other following closely behind not willing to let whatever you had go. Sometimes you'd spend time apart, stewing in anger. Then would come the sex. A makeup fuck is what he called it after the first two times. Then it had just become habit, a vicious toxic cycle that would sometimes last days. You two had just fallen into your roles, accepting that this was how it would be. That was until now.

You would lying if you said there wasn't any good moments in-between. Those were the best, often taking off as a honeymoon stage all over again. You would whisper and giggle in each other's ears, unable to keep hands off each other. You'd fuck and you'd make slow love. He'd take you places, compliment you on everything and help with your various art projects. You would spend nights together, just in each other's presence doing your own work. That was until the next ‘break up’, where moments like this started becoming more sparse and arguments increasingly common. It was all too much. The both of you were relieved when the tour was announced, finally able to spend time apart without having to worry about discussing deeper things. Things that would be too painful, too complicated to talk about.

Maybe that’s why the sinking feeling in your chest wouldn’t go away. You couldn’t go into a room without being triggered by the memories you both had made. You swallowed the lump in forming in your throat, shoving the rest of your paints in the box and taping it closed, compartmentalising your feelings at the same time. This was for the best. You were both toxic to each other, this was definitely not a healthy relationship even if there was something between you two. You looked around the lounge once again. It seemed empty without your paintings covering the walls, your various pot plants on the window sill. You wondered if he would miss notice your things gone. What did you care though? You cast a glance around the room trying to pick out anything you may of left behind.

That lump in your throat reformed, threatening to choke you with all the feelings that were now rising to the surface. For the first time it finally hit you. It was over. You hadn’t talked or seen him in weeks and you most likely wouldn’t see him again either. His tour ended two weeks from now and he rarely ever came home, too busy with parties and recording. You noticed your acrylic paint still out. He wouldn’t notice an extra painting would he?

You wiped your forehead with your arm, pretty sure you had smudged some yellow paint onto it. You didn’t really care. The painting had made you lose track of time. The front door opened just as you realised you should of been out two bloody hours ago. You grabbed a large paint brush as your weapon heading to the door. Had someone broken in? Whoever it was seemed to have the keys to the front door. You tried to control your breathing and not let your mind run wild. You couldn’t help it though. Was it some crazy stalker fan? Would you be found dead in your boyfriends exboyfriends home? Your heart was beating a mile a minute as you flicked on the light, ready to use your paintbrush.

“Were you going to paint me to death?” His voice was thick with exhaustion, you lowered your paintbrush, not sure if you wanted a murderer in here more rather than face the man standing in front of you. The man you hadn’t seen in weeks. You had almost forgotten how bright his eyes were, how his hair was always dischevlied, the smallest hints of stubble on his jawline. All the emotions you had laid down in the canvas laying in the dining room behind came bubbling to the surface.

You tried not to let your voice shake as you spoke.

“You’re meant to be on tour” you said simply, not wanting to drag this out for long. He let his smile drop, his shoulders slumped you could see just how tired he was. He set his keys on the bench. Running a hand through his hair.

“You’re meant to be gone” he snapped. You tried not to let his words hurt you, but despite all the walls you had mentally put him the words cut through you like a knife through butter. You wanted to cry, he was letting you go so easily, without a care in the world. You took a breath, determined to not let him see how close you were to breaking down.

You turned around, ignoring his presence all together and heading to where your paints were laid out. You wiped your hands on the rag, screwing on the lids to the paint pots. You’d pack them all into their box later. His footsteps echoed off the tiles, you ignored his presence behind you and headed straight for the shower in the main bedroom - his room. The plan was to shower before leaving, your clothes were already lay out. You closed the door behind you, but it wouldn't close properly. You stepped back as he stepped into the bathroom.

He had a look in his eye that made your breath catch in your throat. He walked towards you, unknowingly you stepped back, almost tripped over the shower glass panel. It was as if he had you pinned with his gaze alone. You were like a deer caught in headlights, unable to anything but retreat further back. You stepped into the shower, he was still following you until you were cornered against the wall of the shower. You never were scared of him, even if he was yelling from across the room at you, however now, combined with all your emotions about moving out, the thought of being murdered and his words from earlier - you couldn't help the small hint of dear that plagued your mind. He was in your personal space, body almost touching yours. He looked down on you, and you couldn't decipher his facial expression.

Your heart was beating against your chest, almost threatening to break free. Your breath only quickened when he reached over, hand near your waist. You could almost feel him grabbing your waist, pulling you to him. But he only turned the knob to the turn on the water, soaking both yours and his clothes under the large shower head. His breathing was almost as heavy as yours, and you weren't sure if it was from anger or not. You opened your mouth to speak, but he cut you off with his lips.

The kiss was rough, filled with weeks of frustration. You kissed him back, trying to show your anger and hurt at all this. You were just now coming to terms with how you felt about all this, previously running on autopilot. He reached up cupping your cheeks, trying to pull you even closer as his took your lip between his teeth tugging harshly. You were the first to pull away, shock coming over you. You pushed his chest but he didn't budge.

“What the fuck was that?” You demanded, voice high. You resorting to pushing his chest over and over in an attempt to get him to move. You both knew you weren't actually trying, maybe it was just an act. Maybe. He grabbed your wrists, still looking down at you.

“Just” he started, getting distracted by your jaw. He pressed feather light kisses to your skin there. You were frozen on the spot, trying to piece together what the hell was going on. “Just shut the fuck up for once will you?” he said, nipping the skin at your neck making you gasp. Your hand found its way to his hair, running your finger through the wet strands as his kisses covered every inch of your neck, leaving the occasional mark here and there, every bite making the smallest of moans escape your lips. His hands were on your waist, pulling up your damp shirt the slightest bit. He pulled away from your neck, pulling your shirt over your head. He was rougher than he needed to be and it annoyed you. You retaliated, swinging a leg around his waist and dragging your nails down his chest.

“I don't hear from you for weeks and you expect me to come back to you?” You demanded, undoing the buttons in his shirt and pulling it off, throwing it somewhere in the bathroom. He kissed you again, stealing your breath before replying,

“Didn’t you get my messages?” He asked, trailing kisses down your neck, his hands working on undoing your jeans. You huffed, slapping his hands away, replacing them with your own. You didn’t accept his reply. As if sending half assed messages through his PA was going to cut it. As if it had a chance of keeping your relationship going. Did he seriously expect the “he misses you” messages to combat the whispers you heard from friends and the press about his antics?

“You're a fucking prick.” You hissed, pausing momentarily to look at him. You elbowed him, trying to get him to give you some space. He stepped back, just the slightest bit. You pulled off your jeans kicking them away, he had done the same. “You know that's not what I meant” you said, annoyed at your own lack of self control. You could never resist him.

“What did you mean darling?” He whispered, voice laced with hurt and something else you couldn’t quite pin down. “Did you get lonely without me? Is that what it was? Did you need me to reassure you every night?” he said, a dangerous tone in his voice. This was taking a turn into dangerous territory. You dragged your nails down his chest, watching him flinch the slightest bit. Good. You were hurting him.

“At least I don’t hire people to keep my fucking bed warm” you shot back, pushing his chest once again. He grabbed your wrists, this time squeezing them the slightest bit, a warning. You both seemed to communicate through your eyes. You looked up at him, daring him to come up with some reply to your words. He stood firm however, looking at you as if to tell you that you both were the worst.

“Can we just fucking stop? For once” he said finally, surprising you. He ran his hands down your arms, resting them on your waist. “I’m tired” as if that was an excuse. You fought the urge to roll your eyes. You wanted to fight back, push him away and make him work for it. But it was as if seeing his exhaustion had triggered your own. You were tired from packing, the sheer effort of shoving down your emotions had drained you. You let out the breath you hadn’t realised you were holding, running your fingers down his chest in a vain attempt to soothe the red marks from earlier.

“Fine, but if you start again don’t blame me for responding to your bullshit” you said, looking up at him. Both your words had different meanings. It was as if you were promising not to bring up the past again, at least not tonight. It was a mutual understanding. He nodded, leaning forward and kissing down your neck.

“Stay here tonight” he whispered, voice cracking the slightest bit. Did he actually feel a hint of a sadness about you leaving? Perhaps you did. You didn't spend this long with someone and not develop some kinds of feelings for them. You ran your hands over his chest, lean muscle from constantly drumming almost every night.

“Why should I?” you challenged, deciding that he'd have to work for it. You weren't going to let him have you this easily. He gripped your waist, lifting you up, your back brushing up against the tiles. His intention was clear, and you scrambled to wrap your legs around his waist to keep yourself from falling. You were now just the slightest bit higher than him. He looked up at you, leaning in to kiss you slowly.

“Because I'm asking you to” he said simply as he pulled away, peppering kisses over your jaw. You had no reply for him, running your hands through his hair just letting him enjoy your body. So maybe you'd never see him again. You knew this probably was a bad decision, it would complicate things further. Your mind however, could not focus too busy focusing on the brush of his lips against the skin of your neck. Yes, you'd probably regret this later on but why shouldn't you live in the moment now? He seemed to take your silence as a no and immediately started to untangle himself from you, trying mask his disappointment. You wrapped your arms around his neck, cupping his cheeks and pulling his face so you could look into his eyes. You gently traced his jaw with your finger,

“I will” your voice barely a whisper. He wasted no time in pressing his lips to yours, gripping your waist once more. You ran your hand through his hair, the both of you trying to pull the other closer despite being pressed together already. The kiss was desperate, weeks of pent of frustration, anger and hurt focused in on one kiss. He pulled away and you took the chance to take his bottom lip between your teeth, tugging the slightest bit. He let out a small groan, pulling you into yet another kiss. You didn't know just how long you both were there. Your back ached the slightest bit from being pressed against the tiles for so long and the water had ran cold for a while now. He would pull away every so often to trail kisses down your neck, his fingers straying between your legs, stroking against your core just so before pulling away. Your soft moans getting drowned out by the sound of the water. He'd whisper in your ear, meaningless remarks like missing you and wanting you so badly. You returned the favour, not even completely sure what you whispered to him. Your hips rocked against him, making him groan into your neck

You clung to him desperately, running your hands down his chest. Your lips hurting the slightest bit from him constantly nipping at them. You pulled away, breathing heavy. You wanted him to finger you properly, or at least for him to do something. The constant teasing was driving you mad. He could sense it too, pressing a kiss to the one of the many forming hickey's he'd left on your neck.

“You want me darling?” He asked, as breathless as you were. His lips were red, yours were probably the same. You nodded, trying to grind on him to get your point across. He run a hand over your jaw, tucking your hair behind your ear. You expected him to say something about the past, dig back into the scars that were seared deep into your messed up relationship. You weren’t sure if you could handle it, you wouldn’t be able to go through with this if he brought up the past now. He reached out, turning off the shower. Well that was definitely not what you were expecting. You ran a hand over his cheek, leaning forward and kissing his jawline, down to his neck. He carried you out of the shower, stepping over your discarded clothes. Perhaps if you weren’t so wrapped up in him you’d worry about falling, or him slipping and the both of you falling. However, you weren’t in your senses, too busy nipping at that one place that never failed to make him pause and shiver. You grinned into his neck, licking over the skin. You felt the bed beneath your back, he must of made it then. Before you could say anything his mouth was covering yours again, kissing you with the same desperation as before.

“The bed” you started between kisses, “It’ll get” you needed to take a breath, “wet” you finished. He snorted, trailing kisses down your neck

“Sweetheart, there’s only one thing getting wet that concerns me and it’s not the bed” he said with a grin, rolling his hips against yours eliciting yet another moan from you. You held onto him arms wrapped hooked around his shoulders. He kissed you again, almost pushing you down into the pillow. His hands were tracing along the sides of your body making your shiver. His hips slowly rolled against yours and you could feel his hardening length against you. He reached down, between your bodies and lined himself up. He pulled away from the kiss, watching your face as he pushed into you. You didn’t need much prep, thanks to all the teasing he had done in shower earlier, but god. It had been a while and you were already on edge from before. He knew how to angle everything, thanks to your history together. He had only rolled his hips against yours once and you were writhing underneath him, a mess already.  You pushed against his chest,

“Wait, wait” you panted, leaning your head back and closing your eyes. You tried to control yourself, to try and maintain some semblance of control. He took his opportunity to lean down and kiss underneath your jaw. Your chest rose and fell as you tried to get your breathing under control. You rolled his hips after a beat, making you arch up, breathing out his name. He let out a breathless laugh, kissing you once again.

His pace was languid, as if the both you had all the time in the world. He kept it slow, pressing kisses over your jaw and neck, adding to the marks he had already made previously. Almost as if he was trying to commit to memory the way your body felt underneath his. You ran your hands down his back, doing the same. It was unspoken, this agreement that it would be the last time. The two of you wanted to make it last. You tried not to let your mind drift, instead focusing on guiding him back to your lips, grinding your hips against his just so, making him moan. It was a slow bump and grind sort of pace, making you cry out as he would just brush against the spot that made your toes curl. You clawed at his shoulders, getting impatient. You wanted him properly now.

He seemed to get the message clear enough, gripping your hips and doing a particularly hard thrust. You groaned, dragging your nails down his shoulders. He panted in your ear, holding onto you tight as he pushed into you over and over again. You matched his pace, pushing up your hips to meet his. The two of you too caught up in chasing your own high to care about the other. You dragged your nails down his back, making him hiss and in turn, dig his own nails into your hips. Your climax was quickly approaching, and by the way he faltered in his pace you could tell his was as well. He reached down between your bodies, drawing quick circles on your clit. You clung to him as you came, muffling your cries into his neck. Your entire body arching up into his, drawing him in closer in a desperate bid to ground yourself. He had you quite literally seeing stars. You didn’t care about much else as you came, holding onto him tightly just riding out your high as he used your body to come to his own climax.  He came a quick two thrusts later, crying out your name and slamming into you one final time. You both laid there for a while, just trying to level out your breathing and holding each other.

He was the first to move, rolling off you and laying by your side. You both cleaned yourselves up in silence, not wanting to say something that would ruin the mood. This was for the best. He laid in bed, a cigarette in hand. You crawled onto the bed with him, fitting yourself into side. He put out the cigarette turning to you again. Both of you had extremely little self control, going for another two rounds before falling asleep, tangled in the sheets.

You woke just as the sun was rising, an orange glow setting over the bedroom. You turned around to find Roger asleep, a hand splayed out on your stomach. You let yourself have a moment just to gaze at him, take his face. He looked like a child when he was asleep, free from the emotions he wore when he was awake. It took everything in you to not reach out and trace his features. Instead, you untangled yourself from the sheets. Your body ached from last night, it was bittersweet. You dressed quietly, casting one last glance at his sleeping form on the bed and walking out.

Maybe you should of left a note, but it would be too much for you. Right now you had to go or else you never would. The emotions from last night coming back to you, causing a dull ache to bloom in your chest. You grabbed the paints from last night, packing them away carefully and picking up the last remaining box of your possessions. He had enough to remember you by.

The painting you did was resting against the table leg. It was him, as he was when he was asleep, how you saw him through your eyes.

How you had loved him.

Maybe he’d throw it away or maybe he’d hide it.

Maybe he’d burn it.

Maybe he’d hang it up, cover it when he was home alone because the memories were too much.

Maybe Freddie found it once, and asked him where he got from.

Maybe his voice cracked when he answered.

Maybe.

[cnc-hoebayb]

So baby let my heartbeat be, the rhythm that puts you to sleep...

Wrote half of this in like a drunken rage the other night to vent, so don’t feel obligated to read lol i just need to get it off my chest..

Shoutout to my girls for being there for me while I’ve been going through it @imabasicqueen @la-saffron @quisieracnco ily

Also i love all you guys too

.

Bodies pass by like speeding cars. Your eyes dart along the scenery, trying desperately to focus on something- anything to keep you grounded at the moment. Your legs feel weak and wobbly and it seems like you could collapse at any given time.

The alcohol in your system only assists the intensity and everything is hectic. You wanna cry and scream and sleep, but your body can’t process. But it is taking in one thing. It’s a hand at your shoulder, the grip and familiarity snaps you back. “Hey..” the sound buzzes through your foggy mind and maybe you’re ignoring everything entirely, but you barely hear it until the voice matches with the face.

“Hey, you good?” Joel locks eyes with you, sensing immediately the distraught within. No words come out of you, there’s almost no energy to even want to speak. “What happened dude, what’s wrong,” he pries at you, focusing your glance up to him every time you tried to look away. His insistence breaks you, looking up at him with so much embarrassment and tears filling your eyes

“Whoa whoa, you’re okay.” He comforts in an instant, already wrapping his arms around your wobbly intoxicated body, and leading you out the crowded party. “Let’s go.” He drapes his jacket over your body and helps buckle you in the passenger seat. Tears drop onto your lap, a slow, quiet sob working up in your system. Joel already knows.

“Was it... Alejandro?...” he questions hesitantly from behind the wheel. Your heart skips a beat at the pain, still fresh and raw. The sobbing grows a little too much and you shake your head. “I’m such an idiot, Joel I’m sorry. I wasted your time,” the image of the man that seduced you danced in your head. You see yourself wrapped in his arms as you and Joel entered the party. It fades and you realize Joel’s talking.

“You didn’t deserve that,” he says. “I’m not mad, you didn’t waste my time at all.” He reaches over to pat your leg soothingly, radiating that brotherly protection he always had. “I’m glad i was there-“ he continues and before you know it, you’re at the hotel. “I knew i couldn’t trust him.” That sentence hits you and if it were possible to cry any harder, you’d be doing it by now.

The walk up to your hotel room is a blur, a mix of tears and makeup slide down your cheeks as Joel guides you inside. He sits you on the bed and talks you through it, but it’s going nowhere. Sobs grow more into anger- tears drying slightly and your tone of voice more threatening. “FucK hIM” you almost growl, and it sets Joel back a little.

“He used me this whole time,” you start to yell and your fists clench into tight balls. “T/N calm down it’s ok,” he desperately attempts to relax you to no success. He gets up and walks to the door with intent. “Gimme a minute i know who you need,” he zooms out and you grab a pillow with fury, screaming into the plush material. The night flashes back to you again.

This time it’s his hand on your waist, lips on your ear as he’s pouring you yet another drink. You giggle and he urges you to drink. “Be right back, baby girl. Wait for me k...” his voice rings in your ears and there’s so much more anger.

You throw the pillow across the room and slam your back onto the bed, hands buried in your face. Someone enters the room cautiously, and without thinking you lash out. “GeT OUT” you dart up and grab another pillow almost as to attack, but his strong tattooed hand grabs your wrist. “Richard, let me go!” You claw at his fingers and start moving away from him.

“Tranquila, whats wrong luv” his strong brow furrows in all seriousness, concern turning into something more. Your face is bright red with rage, your hair a tangled mess from running your frustrated hands through it over and over. Richard grabs your wrists and notices your still clenched fists. “Aight, i can see you’re goin through something. You need to talk it out?” Your jaw tightens and there’s nothing more you want than to vent- no not vent, yell.

“I’m just so angry,” your shaky voice starts up again, an underlying wave of tears ready to pour. “Ok then scream.” He says and you’re caught off guard. “I know what it’s like, and i know sometimes all you need is to scream and hit something and just let it out.” He grabs another pillow from behind you and places it in front of his chest like a target.

“So go at it,” he motions for you to hit the pillow in front of him and gives you a look that shows he’s there.

You hit the cushion softly the first time, testing it out with little sniffles. “I wasted so much time,” you start to let out, hitting the pillow again. “He was using me,” Richard pushes the pillow into your next blow, bouncing your force off of it. “How could i not know?” Your fists work faster and sloppily.

“He got me wasted so i couldn’t even notice,” angry tears well up unintentionally, all emotions being thrown on the table. You see Richards face harden at that comment and you keep going. “What were his intentions? Why would he make such an effort just to screw me over like this??” Your hands droop, throat a bit sore from the yelling already and Richard drops the cushion.

“He played me so hard, Richard. I feel so disgusting.” The topic feels too embarrassing, but the words keep flowing. “He told me things he knew would pull me in more. I can still feel his touch and it makes me want to jump out of my skin..” Thats all it takes. In a second, he’s jumping off the bed, his shoulders puffed up and face full of the same anger you had.

“That fucker,” he pulls out his phone and is already planning his fastest route to end this dude. “Can’t just treat you like that,” you pounce up to calm him now, knowing Richard was a man of action. “I swear to god he’ll never touch you again- I’m gonna make him wish he never laid a hand on you.” You wrap your arms around him, calming him now turning into what you needed the most at the moment.

“Richard it’s fine,” he drops his phone and chills out, letting your arms tighten around his waist. “It’s not, tho. No man should be allowed to do this scum shit” he engulfs you in a tight embrace, letting you bury your wet face in his warm chest for what feels like forever. He pulls away and kisses your forehead. “Don’t let anyone let you feel like you’re worth less than what you are..”

“Because you’rs so important to me, and if anything happened to you, I’d have to fight a homie on sight,” you laugh and sit back down on the messy bed. “I think maybe you need time to calm down now, Richuki”, the sheets and beneath you are ruffled from your angry fit, and you smooth them over with your hands. “Maybe you’re right.” He says and shakes off his frustration. “Hang tight luv I’ll be back”

He closes the door behind him, leaving you alone once again in the big hotel room. You lay on your side, fidgeting with the strings on your hoodie. A moment passes and the door opens followed by a little knock. Not wanting to lift your head up, you mutter out a little “hey..” and continue to stare absent mindedly in the distance. It was probably just Richard done cooling off.

A body sits at the foot of the bed, tickling your foot as it hung off the side. Not Richard. “Erick, qué haces papi? Why you here,” without looking at him you talk, not wanting him to see you looking like a mess. “Thought you’d need a mood lightener,” he says innocently and you almost feel bad for being so distraught right now. He doesn’t need to deal with this, he’s just a kid still. “Estoy bien, go back to your room Erick.”

“No,” he argues and you should’ve expected that, he was a persistent one. “No necesitas decirme nada, solo quiero estar contigo.” It’s silent as you don’t have the energy to argue back. Just laying there, Erick by your side quiet. But It doesn’t last long before he finally starts talking. Reminding you of the time you both scared Chris in the middle of the night by hiding in the kitchen pantry. Your heart feels light at the memory, that good point in your life, the people...

Little drops of salty tears slow and you wipe the last few with your sleeve to laugh with him. “He almost peed himself,” you finally pitch in to the story breaking your silence. “Sientes mejor?” He questions and lays next to you. You nod solemnly, not lying, but not telling the entire truth either. “Thank you Erick,” he grabs your hand in his and squeezes. “No sé que está pasando...pero estoy aqui para ti. Por siempre ok” he looks you dead in the eyes and you see the sincerity.

“Now go shower, you look pretty rough” he jokes and you punch his arm as he hops off the bed. Leaving you back to square one with a slightly lighter mood than before. The door closes and deciding to take his advice and shower off the night, you make your way into the bathroom. The hot water scorches tender skin and the tension starts to break down. Your mind drifts on and off about the night, invasive thoughts digging their way in one by one.

The ghost of his fingertips brush your skin and you want to wipe yourself clean of him. The images that manifest takw over, and you rush out of the shower in attempt to outrun them. With soaking hair and loose towel draped around you, you step out into the other room once again and are greeted with a soft smile. “Im guessing you’re all taking shifts with me now?” You joke and the big teddy bear in front of you smiles nervously. “Kinda yea,” his eyes dart away at the sight of you in just a towel and you act quick.

“Sorry I didn’t know you’d come out undressed,” he says shyly and you grab your robe. You wrap yourself in the thick material, throwing on a quick pair of shorts underneath. “Okay Zabdi, coast is clear.” He looks back up cautiously as you sit next to him, noticing the small ukulele in his grips. “Musical therapy,” he shrugs and you lay your head on his shoulder. “Can you play-“ he cuts you off and hands over the small instrument. “Nonono, you’re playing. It’ll distract you, i know how in the element you get when you play.”

Part of you wants to hesitate, but the moment fingers hit the strings something takes off in you. The sound rings in your bones and you’re lost in the strumming pattern, closing your eyes and letting it take over completely. The world fades away and the moment your eyes flutter open, it feels different. “That was beautiful,” Zabdi comments at the improv work and adds a signature compliment like always, “just like you.”

You don’t wanna protest but it hits you like a train. “Don’t call me that.” The wooden figure slips from your arms onto the bed, all insecurity flooding back. He’s shocked and confused, not sure how to react. “Now im not sure all that happened tonight. All i know is what Richard was heated about, and what Joel won’t tell, but...” he shakes his head and runs fingers through his hair stressed. “I don’t like what it’s doing to you.”

A pout falls over your face, not sure if it’s ready to cry or not. “I’m just not beautiful Zabdiel okay.” You wanna tell him so bad about it all, to tell him how much it hurts and how desperately you believed in someone’s lies. Because he’d know exactly what to say. He’d hug you tightly and never let go, tell you that that boy was never worth it. And that everything would be ok. But it’s not for him, and only small details come out. “I see all these girls who are so much better than me in every way. They’re beautiful and deserve the world and all the love they can have....”

His expression drops- shocked to see you in such a vulnerable state. “That’s just not me Zabdi. And i don’t know why, but i just can’t have the same.” He watches and roams his mind for something to say. You don’t want him to feel like he needs to pitch in, but that’s just the way he was.

“No me digas cosas así,” is the first thing out of his mouth. “You have just the same right as those other girls to have the world and so much more. You just can’t see it.” He’s scolding you, and it’s so odd to see this side of him. “You are beautiful and there’s nothing and nobody- especialmente un pendejo como Alejandro that should make you feel any different.” You cringe at the mention of his name and look away. “Mira, T/N. You’re the most beautiful person i know, inside and out,” He wipes a stray tear away.

“And this dude doesn’t deserve the satisfaction of defeating you. He’s not what’s going to bring you down-“ your heads snap up as the door opens one last time suddenly. A tall figure peeks in and your heart flips for the millionth time. “Chris,” your voice waivers and Zabdiel stands up. “Can I?” Chris pats Zabdi on the shoulder and gestures towards you. No doubt in his mind that he was leaving you in the best care. He ends it there, and with a solemn nod, Zabdiel gives you a strong hug and says one more thing before stepping out. “See you tomorrow- don’t forget anything that i told you.”

Chris waits for the door to close behind him and locks it, walking back over to you slowly. You shiver in your place, from both nerves and emotions, but also the slight breeze that came through once the door shut. “Take this,” he jumps into action, removing his big tour hoodie from his body and tossing it over. He looks away as you throw it on, giving him a little “ok” to turn around once you were finally fully dressed. You push back your damp hair into the hood and bundle up in a tight seated ball.

He sits next to you and before anything is said, he pulls you into his arms. He squeezes with all his strength, letting you fall apart one last time beneath him. His hand was firm behind your head, brushing your hair as you pushed further into his chest. “Chris i feel so stupid,” you admit and he shushes you like you would a baby, patting your back and whispering “it’s ok, you’re ok.”

“But im not,” and for the first time tonight it’s all on the table. “I was naive. I let him use me, let myself believe i was special, that i was lovable.” He brings you out of his chest, holding either side of your shoulders and watched into what felt like your soul as you pour it out. “I was there, and he was holding me, wooing me with lies. He called me his- told me i was worth something. And i bought it.” His fingers brushed by your cheeks and wiped away wetness there.

“I watched him do it all too. Because he kissed me. He kissed me and not even a second after he walked to her- to all of them. Feeding off their attention, lost in their beauty. He left me vulnerable and had no ounce of worry either. Not even when his friend started getting touchy- forceful.” You swallow your embarrassment of retelling the events and finish. “He had already gotten what he wanted from me so long ago. So why did he make such an effort for me to be there tonight??? Was it because i was his pawn? To flaunt me, kiss and touch me to make the others jealous. Or was i the last resort? For him to get me trashed and save me for latwr when all his other girls didn’t follow through.”

His eyes were sad, understanding and taking in all the details. “I could’ve been really hurt. But he didn’t even care. Joel was my savior tonight, if he hadn’t been there to see it all and bring me home... i don’t know what would’ve happened.” Chris sighs heavily and his look is the same amount of distraught as you. “I can’t think about that.” He growls with the same intensity Richard had earlier. “I literally can’t afford to think of that. I don’t know what I’d do if something were to happen to you and i could’ve stopped it.”

“But thats not your fault,” you add on. “I was so dumb to not tell you about tonight. I knew you never trusted him from the beginning and i felt beyond guilty.” You look down at your hands in shame. “I’m such a screw up, and I’m so sorry Chris. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. I’m so unlovable...” his hands grab your face and focus your attention on him. “Your decisions and mistakes don’t define you, amor. The point is that you’re safe, and you’re here with me right now.” Thumbs brush over your features and instead of that sad look that worried you earlier, he’s smiling.

“And none of that is true,” he bites his lip habitually. “Because i love you. I love you more than you could ever even imagine.” Your mind wants you to believe it’s a lie, but you know Chris, and somehow this is real. “And this shit is killing me to even watch, if i didn’t know any better I’d already be up and kicking this dudes ass for ever touching you.” He laughs through his seriousness and you reciprocate. “Yea, you and everyone else too,” you add on referring to previous reactions from the boys.

“You think you’re not worth anything, but it’s not true. To me you’re everything. I see you and my world lights up, no matter what.” It’s a confession, but it’s not asking for anything in return. He knows you’re hurt and wouldn’t want to take advantage of it. It’s what you need to hear, though. “This will all pass. You never have to speak to that guy again, shit I’ll never give him the chance. You’re stronger than you think, and you’re smart.” You sniffle up the last of your emotions and stare up at him.

“And after it all passes I’m here,” he says. “And I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes.” You crash into his arms once again, every feeling at an all time high. “I love you too, Chris.” He lets out a breath of relief at that statement and hugs tighter. Your exhausted body droops in his grasp and he lets go, leaning up against the bed frame as you lay down with your head in his lap. “Please stay-“ you whisper and he rubs circles on your back.

“Leaving was never in my brain. I’m here for as long as you need me.” You close your eyes and he reaches for something across the bed. Zabdiel must have left his ukulele for you, because the sudden soft noise of plucking strings radiates through the room. He strums up a slow tune and you recognize it from the first chord- your favorite.

He hums along quietly and you feel yourself dozing off. The pain eases and it feels like they might’ve all saved you from spiraling any further down. It didn’t have to be instantly, or even completely, but you knew you were going to be fine. It wasn’t for yourself any more either, now it was for them too. You weren’t ready to give up on them yet, and you’re damn right they were not gonna give up on you any time soon.

[ariciaeast-blog]

h i d d e n  i n  t h e  s t a r s ; c h 2

ft. @domschreave (ofc), with special mentions of. @isabellafaulkner @debbieker @calistapledger @ruby-stones

The last thing my mother told me before she left was that “the day I got a date was the day pigs would fly”

I stood on my balcony, sipping some water in a goblet fancier than my dress, and looked at the sky for any flying pigs.

Well, maybe they’re all invisible, or just incredibly shy

I shook my head, trying to clear it from thoughts of my mother. I knew that thinking that way would get me nowhere. I chugged the remainder of my water, hoping that if I pretended that it was alcohol, it’d calm my racing nerves, but to no avail. I turned around and walked inside, setting the goblet down on my dresser. I walked towards my bed, picking up the forest green dress that I had laid there earlier. It wasn’t too fancy, but it wasn’t too casual either, which was just the right mix. I walked towards the bathroom and changed out of the pale blue dress that I had worn during my outing with Ruby and Lola earlier today.

As I slipped on the green dress, I looked at myself in the mirror. My skin was pale, but it wasn’t a shock to me. It had been like that since my outing with Percy last week.

I sighed, trying so hard to get rid of all thoughts of the past week. I tried going out with Debbie, Izzy, Cal, and Ruby, but I still wasn’t at one hundred percent. I ran a hair through my hair, and coughed lightly into the crook of my elbow.

Another terrible thing that happened that day; I got sick from sitting in the pouring rain for half an hour until Izzy and Debbie brought me inside, saying that I was destined to get a cold.

Well, they were right, unfortunately

Things haven’t been the same since that happened. I was truly happy for Percy and Charlotte, but everything still hurt. Every time I thought I was ok, I would try to go out, and have fun with my friends, but when I came back to my room, the pain commenced.

I ran a hand down my face, trying to make all my pain vanish. Hopefully, tonight will take my mind off of all of it.

I was tired of hurting. I wanted to heal

I quickly brushed on some makeup, trying to make myself look less like Casper the Ghost. I redid my hair, and gave myself a quick pep talk in front of the mirror.

“You are Aricia East, and you are tired of hurting. You are going to go out there tonight, have a blast, and hope to see some pigs flying in the sky”

I laughed lightly to myself, and walked back out my room. I sat down on my bed, and pulled on a random pair of heels. I had dismissed my maids early tonight, much to their personal dismay, but I knew that they would try to doll me up, and I didn’t need that right now.

I needed to be the happy Aricia that everyone thought I was.

I took a deep breath, and concealed my pain with more than just concealer. I slipped into my usual façade of happiness, and walked out into the hallway.

Its time to hide my pain in the stars

I walked further down the halls, until she saw a door with a bit more guards around it than usual.

Well, that’s probably Dom’s room

I walked towards that room, took a deep breath and knocked, hoping I guess correctly and didn’t accidently knock on someone else’s door, like Percy’s.

That would be awkward, and besides, I needed my façade to hold. I knew that if I saw him, it would probably all come crumbling down irreparably.

The door swung open, and I quickly threw a smile on my face, hoping it wasn’t too fake. The door opened fully, and I saw Dom.

Oh, thank god

“Oh, Hi Dom,” I started, trying to get myself together, “I was wondering if you were ready for our date?”

He nodded, “Yeah, sure”

With that, we both started walked down the hallway, and I tried to gauge his expression to guess how he was feeling, but he concealed better than I did.

“So, are you curious as to what I have planned?” I asked

“A little,” he replied, continuing to walk beside me

I nodded, and turned towards the garden doors, trying to ease the awkwardness a bit, “Well, that’s good. I’m happy to be keeping you on your toes”

I lead the two of us outside, walking towards the set up I had arranged, when Dom started talking.

“So, are you going to tell me?” He asked, raising an eyebrow

I looked at him and put a finger jokingly on my chin, “Hmm, maybe I can show you a little hint” I offered, as we reached the date set up. I had set up two air cushions on the grass, with some food around it and a jar of papers beside the food, which I had some questions in, if Dom wanted to play that game.

Dom look around, his eyes grazing over everything in the small set up before flicking his eyes back to me, “A picnic?” he asked, and I resisted the urge to laugh. It did seem like a picnic to the naked eye, but it wasn’t just a picnic; it was so much more than that ((haha, im borrowing a line from America, thanks girl xD))

“Hmm, close. It’s a meteor shower watch. I used to do these all the time with my friends at home and it was a lot of fun, so I thought I’d try it here with you. We can watch the meteor shower while we eat food, and I have a question game planed so we can get to know eachother. How does that sound?” I asked, raising an eyebrow and trying to gauge his reaction.

Dom groaned, “Fine, I guess”

Wow, the date didn’t even start and I already screwed up. Typical Aricia.

I frowned slightly, “Whats wrong?”

He shook his head, “I’m just tired of answering the same questions about myself twenty times. If I’d known, I would’ve filled out some kind of personality questionnaire and just handed it out to all of you”

Wow, that was probably the most I’ve ever head Dom say

I tried to process his direct answer, not expecting it. As I analyzed it, I tried to look at things from his perspective and I sympathized with him a bit. I probably would have been upset if I had “what is your favourite colour” asked to me 35 times. I’d probably just wear a hat that said “ITS BLUE” for the rest of my life.

I shook my head, trying to bring my mind back to reality, “Wow, I haven’t thought of it that way. Well, I guess we all have been asking you a lot of questions, haven’t we,” I shrugged, “Well, we can eliminate the question part if you’d like, and enjoy nature’s show” I finished, gesturing to the sky.

He nodded, flashing me a relieved smile, “That would be nice”

I smiled back, realizing that his happiness was indeed contagious, and let out a sigh of relief.

Either I dodged a bullet, or the bullet was doing a boomerang and coming back at me

I gestured to the inflatable cushions, “How about we take a seat?” I looked at my watch, and realized what the time was, “The shower should be starting in a couple of minutes”

“Ok” he said, sitting down. I walked over to the cushion beside him and took a seat, turning to look at him.

“So, how has your day been?” I asked, and mentally reprimanded myself.

You, Aricia East, are 100% horrible at starting conversations

“Pretty good, you?” he asked, looking at me

I smiled, slipping into my comfortable persona, “That’s nice to hear. My day has been good, I was hanging out with Lola and Ruby all day, so that was fun, but I’m happy I can end my day with a nice meal and a meteor shower” I said, leaving out all gloomy parts of the past week.

“Sounds like a nice end to a day,” he said

I sighed, and turned to look at him, the words slipping off my tongue before I could stop myself, “I know how we can make it better”

Oh my god, you have got to be kidding me. If the date was a wreck before this, now it crashed and burned. I knew I wanted to forget everything, but forgetting this way? Would it work? I cant go through what I just went through, but maybe…

I leaned close to Dom, giving him a chance to be rational and back out, but he didn’t, and leaned closer and kissed me.

Oh, what the hell

I kissed him back, and pulled away for air, grinning, “Well, that definitely made the evening better,” I laughed

“I’ll say” he said, and we both separated. I reached behind me, deeming that this was the perfect time to give this to Dom.

“Wait, I have a surprise for you! Close your eyes!” I exclaimed, making sure to obstruct his view of the plate behind me

He closed his eyes, and I made sure to check if his eyes were closed before pulling out the plate from behind my back.

“A little birdy told me that this was your favourite food so I thought I’d bring some. You can open your eyes now, but I bet you can already guess what this is based on the smell,” I concluded, laughing as Dom inhaled the scent.

“Its pizza, isn’t it?” he guessed, smiling as he opened his eyes, “Knew it,” he smirked.

I laughed at his confidence, “Yeah, I hope you like it!” I exclaimed, and reached behind me to grab some pizza for myself. As I took a bite out of my pizza, I noticed the meteor shower starting falling. I turned to look at Dom, and saw him engrossed in his pizza.

I smiled, and nudged his shoulder, “Dom, look! Its starting!” I said, point and looking at the sky.

“Huh,” he says, looking up at the sky, watching the stars fall. I silently made a wish, praying that it would come true soon. I tried to simultaneously look between the shower and Dom, and I turned to look at him for a brief second, “Do you like it?” I asked, watching his reaction.

“Yeah, its cool I guess,” he said, continuing to look at the sky.

I smiled a bit, “That’s nice to hear. I know you didn’t want any questions, but I hope this one is alright; do you like doing outdoorsy stuff?” I asked, turning to look at him

He shook his head, “not that much”

Well, atleast he was honest. And he didn’t run away so I think I should get brownie points for that

I nodded, “Oh… well I’m glad you liked this, then! It’s a nice way to relax while enjoying the beauty of nature, and my hot date” I finished, and internally groaned at the last part

Its as if that water was actually alcohol, and now it was controlling my mind and my mouth

He smirked, “Yeah, that’s true”

I smirked back, and grabbed some more pizza, seeing that the both of us were done whatever was on our plates.

I took a bite from one of the slices, and couldn’t help the moan that slipped out from my mouth. “mm, this is so good!” I exclaimed, eating some more

“Yeah it is” he said

I smiled, and I subconsciously kept glancing at Dom to see if he was enjoying it, and every time I looked, I saw him engrossed in the stars. We both watched the show in silence, and when it finished, I turned and looked at him, “Well, its getting late, and the show is over. Do you want to head back now? Our rooms are not that far away, so I can walk with you if you want” I offered

“Yeah, that sounds good” he said

“Alright then,” I said, getting up and packing up all the stuff, and I grabbed it with me. Once I was finished packing up, I turned and looked at Dom, “lets go!”

We both started walking back inside in silence, until Dom started talking.

“Well, this hasn’t been that bad of a date… That sounds worse that I mean it. I just mean… I don’t know… I’m glad we left out the questions part” he said, not seeming like the over confident guy he was a couple of minute ago

I smiled and nodded, happy that he was comfortable enough to be honest around me, “Well, I’m glad you enjoyed it.”

We both continued walking in silence, until we reached Dom’s room. “Well, I believe this is your stop!” I exclaimed, grinning at him.

Only a bit longer, Cia. Then you can go back to who you were 3 hours ago

He nodded, “It is. So… I’ll see you around?”

“Yeah, I’d like that a lot,” I said, smiling, “Thanks for a great evening, Dom”

As I said those words, I realized that he had indeed given me a great evening. Not just in his company, but he helped me forget. Something that I haven’t been able to do myself.

“Thank you,” he said, grinning, not understanding the full meaning of my words. I leaned in for a hug, and he awkwardly hugged me back.

Well, I now I know he’s not a hugger

I pulled back and smiled. I saw a strand of Dom’s hair fall in front of his eye, and before I could convince myself to back out, I pushed it back and smiled.

“Goodnight, Dom. Sweet dreams!” I said

“Bye,” he said, and we both turned and went our separate ways.

I heard the closing of Dom’s door, and the sound broke my façade. I slowly walked towards my room, and I changed out of my outfit and into some sleepwear. I walked over to the washroom, brushed my teeth and took of my makeup. As I wiped away the last of my concealer, I took in my reflection, and noticed something different.

My skin wasn’t pale anymore

I scrubbed at my skin, thinking that it was some left over foundation, but my skin still glowed. How could I have kicked the sickly pale skin for something more healthy in a matter of hours?

I shook my head, sending the delirious thoughts away. An evening with a prince couldn’t change anything. A prince was what got me into this problem into the first place, how could another one fix it?

I walked back towards my room, and jumped 5 feet in the air.

One of my maids were standing there, taking the dress that I had worn this evening.

“Oh, Lady Aricia! I didn’t mean to shock you!” she said, turning to look at me worriedly.

I shook my head, “Its alright! Are you going to wash the dress?” I asked, pointing to it.

She nodded, “Yes. Do you want me to leave it here and wash it another time?” she asked, and I nodded.

She walked over to my wardrobe and put the dress and shoes inside for me.

“Thank you” I said, once she finished

“No problem. And Lady Aricia?” She asked, looking at me

“Yes?” I asked, raising an eyebrow

“You look better tonight. Better than you have in a week” she said, before walking out of the room, leaving me speechless.

I walked towards my bed, and plopped down unceremoniously. As I tossed and turned in the sheets, I realized that my maid was right.

My pain was gone, hidden in the stars

[gwynne-fics]

Pictures -- Rachel & Hyo-Shin

the arraignment

Rachel hated how much help she needed to get cleaned up and dressed for Hyo-Shin’s arraignment. Her body wasn’t healing as quickly as she expected it to and she was rapidly running out of painkillers. She told Mother about it and she returned within the hour with a fresh prescription already filled.

She didn’t ask questions.

Bo-Na was amazing and helped her shower and put on clean pads. Ye-Sol had the clothes she wanted to wear perfectly altered and zipped her up easily into them. She’d chosen a simple beige dress accented with red to match her favorite heels. Ye-Sol even had a backup pair of flats when it turned out that pregnancy had left her feet a size larger. “I’ll need different shoes for the wedding.”

“Yes, Director Yoo.” Ye-Sol bowed while Rachel glared at her feet and almost missed Eun-Sang hovering at the door. Rachel waved her inside and smiled at her.

“Thank you for watching Hye-Rim while I’m gone.”

Eun-Sang bit her lower lip. “If it’s alright, Young-Do is going to watch her and I would like to come with you and support you today.”

Rachel immediately had to blink to keep from ruining her makeup. She reached out to Eun-Sang silently and her sister came to sit down with her on the end of the bed. She gave Rachel a tight hug. “I’m going to talk to my mother about why I can’t heal you. I feel like I’m failing you. Losing my garden screwed something up and…”

“And it’s affecting your relationship to Young-Do. That’s a bond that gave you a lot of power. How long has it been since you made love?” Rachel gently stroked her fingers through Eun-Sang’s hair.

“Not since…I lost my garden.” Eun-Sang lifted her head and wiped at her cheeks. “My mother did something to me. I know she did but I have no idea why removing that aura required destroying my garden. He’s been so gentle with me. I know he picked out that tree himself even though he pretends Hyun-Shik did it, but I can’t even talk to her and introduce myself. I think…I think I need to go with you today. I still don’t understand why you’re doing this, but you’ve given me nothing but love, you’ve taught me nothing but love, and I do love you so much, Rachel. That’s why I have to talk to my mother. She’s the only one who can teach me anything.”

“I love you,” Rachel said it gently and put her arm around her shoulders in half a hug. “I’m sorry if I’ve given you any indication that I’m upset at you for not accepting Hyo-Shin. Your loyalty means a lot to me. I know your anger at him is out of love for me. I just wish I could show you and Young-Do what I see when I look at him. He is going to be the best husband and father when he comes home. Be careful with your mother. I am doing fine. The doctor says that some women, even with a natural birth, just take longer to heal. Would you like me to go with you when you talk to your mother?”

“Young-Do will freak out if we do that.”

“Only if we tell him first.” Bo-Na cut in. “I will protect you.”

When Eun-Sang hesitated, Rachel said, “It will give me a better understanding of your relationship with your mother. Maybe I can figure out what she did to your garden.”

“Alright,” Eun-Sang said after a few moments. She helped Rachel into her shoes and then to her feet. Bo-Na had her purse and her arm around Rachel’s waist as they started walking towards the elevator. “But this is not the sisterly bonding activity I had in mind.”

“What activity?” Young-Do overheard the last part from where he sat on the couch feeding Hye-Rim. “You are not recovered enough to stay in public. If you want a mani-pedi, you can do it here.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” Rachel said as she paused to say goodbye to Hye-Rim. She would have to ask Mother if she was such a…present baby so soon after her birth. Hye-Rim constantly tried to look at everything, despite being premature, but always focused on Rachel like she understood her when she spoke. “Appa needs me today,” she explained even though Hye-Rim couldn’t understand. “I will show him a picture of you and remind him how much he wants to come home.”

She leaned down and kissed her daughter’s forehead. “Thank you for watching her for me today. Thank you for sharing Eun-Sang with me.”

Young-Do kissed her cheek. “We don’t think you should go but we understand that this is important to you so one of us should go with you. We love you.”

“I know. I’ve never doubted that.” Rachel stood and let her sisters support her on the way down to the car, throughout the drive, and to the courthouse. There was a media circus but she didn’t hesitate. She was a little relieved that Nam-Il drove them himself and insisted on a car following them with security. Rachel put on sunglasses. “Keep them off me. They can take pictures but I don’t want microphones in my face.”

“I can—“ Bo-Na started but Rachel immediately rejected her offer.

“No. You will never reconcile with your Chan-Young if he hears how easily you are willing to rescue me. He is your oxygen. The next time you use your ability should be to save him. Just hold my hands and be my shield. Please…” She hadn’t expected to feel weak or afraid. What if she looked into Hyo-Shin’s heart and there wasn’t enough love for Mother’s gambit to work?

Bo-Na and Eun-Sang immediately took her hands and helped her walk up the courthouse steps. About halfway up the media realized who she was and knew enough to give her their attention. Nam-Il had their security fan out and hold back the throng. Eun-Sang put her hand on her back and must’ve done something to her lungs to allow more oxygen in.

“I want to sit in the front row,” Rachel barely got out. Her legs felt weak and her head was spinning. She knew why she wasn’t supposed to be in public yet but she would stubbornly see this through. Bo-Na produced a water bottle out of her bag, along with Rachel’s donut to sit on, and dabbed at her forehead with her handkerchief. But all Rachel could see was Hyo-Shin sitting next to his lawyer. She knew Mother hired Victory Law for him and it afforded her some relief.

The commotion with her arrival drew Hyo-Shin’s attention and her throat closed up when he met her eyes. He immediately leaned in to talk to his lawyer, who glanced at her, before nodding and saying something. A few moments later, he was allowed to come over to her and stand on the other side of the courtroom fence.

Bo-Na and Eun-Sang helped her stand. She tried to smile at him but they were both crying when he reached out with his handcuffed hands and cupped her cheek. She was weak at the love in his heart. It was as strong as her own. All they lacked was the connection between their hearts—what Mother destroyed when she let the police take him away from her. “What are you doing here? This is just a formality. The trial won’t be for another few months. You should be resting.”

“Are they treating you with the respect a prosecutor deserves? Are you safe in your cell?” She reached out and smoothed her fingers over his prisoner number. He was too pale and his hair too flat as he forced a lie of a smile at her.

“Of course, they are. My father—“

“Publicly disowned you yesterday,” she whispered. “He is not protecting you. Are you ready to come home? I’m sure—“

“Not yet. Your mother said I would know when it is time and it’s not time. Let me confess to this. Let me pay for my betrayal in a just and legal fashion so there is no deal to be made on my sins. Let me…let me come to you without the burden of my guilt. It will be a very short time. Prosecutor Im hates this case. He’s not going to make an example of me.”

“You don’t know that.” She curled her fingers in the rough fabric over his heart and hated the dull connection. She squeezed her eyes shut. “My mother is powerful but she can’t control for everything. Promise me, promise me you will tell me when you are ready to come home. Hye-Rim misses you.”

“That isn’t possible. I barely got to hold her,” he lightly teased and then kissed her to an explosion of cameras right before the judge called the room to order. Rachel didn’t care that it would be criticized as a display. She surged into Hyo-Shin and kissed him back as fiercely as she could. Two officers pulled him away from her and brought him back to his lawyer. Eun-Sang caught her before she lost her footing and she and Bo-Na helped her sit down.

Rachel had to listen to him give a statement to the court that was sure to embarrass the judiciary.

“I was sent to approach Yoo Rachel as a person of interest as a member of the task force gathering evidence to convict Choi Young-Do as the Death Dealer of Seoul. It was Special Prosecutor Jeon Hyun-Joo’s personal belief that she could provide that evidence. She ordered me to get close to Yoo Rachel. I took that to mean seducing her. For the task force, I recorded all of our time together and attempted to earn her trust. Those recordings included our intimate moments.” He stuttered over the last part and had to take a deep breath to regain his calm. “As I pursued the truth of her involvement with the alleged murders her brother was dealing, it became clear to me that we’d involved an innocent woman. At this time, there was no physical evidence to indicate that Choi Young-Do is the Death Dealer of Seoul, especially not after the confession given publicly by Yoo Kyung-Ran just a few days ago. I can personally testify that it is possible for her to have escaped prison, killed the people she claims to have killed, and get back into her cell with no one knowing.  That meant my actions for the task force were done in bad faith against an innocent citizen. I will state plainly now that I fell in love with her during our time together and our relationship did not end after her arrest and interrogation. We have discussed my crimes against her and in light of being the father of her child and her husband, I feel it is necessary to be punished for illegally recording our intimate moments, approaching her with fraudulent intent, and harassing her brother, Choi Young-Do. To those charges, I plead guilty.”

Once more the cameras went off and Rachel tried to keep a stoic face. Her sisters held her hands tightly and she breathed through the disordered court room. She barely heard the judges and prosecutor give their statements. She just sat there and prayed that this would be enough for her family.

Hyo-Shin met her eyes and tried to smile at her.

[luci-in-trenchcoats]

The Least I Can Do (Part 3)

Summary: Jensen takes the reader on their second date where she experiences her first con...

Part 1 Part 2

Pairing: Jensen x reader

Word Count: 3,100ish

Warnings: language

A/N: They just keep getting longer somehow...

“Morning sunshine,” said Jensen when you opened your door, a small carry on by his feet.

“Morning,” you said, waving him in. “There’s coffee if you want some.”

“Already made some,” he said, holding up a thermos. “You ready to go?”

“You texted me like three minutes ago saying to pack some clothes and whatever stuff I wanted,” you said, walking past your couch and into your bedroom where your empty backpack sat on the unmade bed.

“Was that not enough time?” he teased. 

“Do I need a dress? Nice shoes? A parka? I need to know what this con weekend thing is. Or where it even is,” you said.

“Are you that obsessed with clothes?” he asked and you scowled. Oh, if there was one stereotype you hated as much as the sleeping around underwear model it was the superficial clothes and makeup obsessed thing. “Y/N, relax. It was a joke.”

“Maybe I shouldn’t go,” you said. “We really don’t know much about each other and-”

“If you don’t want to go, then that’s fine. But please don’t change your mind because I tried to tease you and touched a nerve. I don’t think you care about name brands and crap like that really,” he said. 

“So,” you said giving him a smile. “Jeans and tees?”

“That’ll be fine. We’re going to a concert tonight too,” he said and you raised an eyebrow.

“Okay, give me ten minutes?” you asked and he smiled, pulling your door shut before you stopped him. “I’m not worried about you seeing my underwear drawer.”

“I don’t want to see my presents early,” he said with a smirk. 

“Oh don’t try this cocky flirting game with me Ackles. You’re gonna lose,” you said, watching him hold up his hands.

“I’ll behave for the foreseeable future,” he said. “Let me know when you’re ready to go.”

“Alright. Oh and Jensen?” you asked, watching him whip his body around after heading into your living room. “How much do I owe you for the plane ticket and hotel and stuff?”

“Nothing,” he said. “I didn’t have to pay for it so don’t argue that you should have to.”

“Wait, this is a show thing?” you asked. He nodded as he sat down. “Awesome.”

“Awesome?” he asked, crossing his arms.

“I may or may not have binged like four episodes last night...” you said, walking back into your room to pack.

“So, are you a Sam or Dean girl?” he asked.

“What’s that?” you asked.

“Which one are you attracted to,” he said, a laugh in his words. “I’ve got an idea.”

“Oh, I like John,” you said. “He’s got that hot older guy thing going on.”

“You realize I’m currently older than he was when the show started, right?” asked Jensen.

“You’ve got that hot older guy thing going on ya know,” you said, popping your head out the door with a smirk. “Although you were an adorable baby boy back then. Your voice was so much higher.”

“Is this that flirty tease thing I’m getting now?” he asked. “I’ll give it right back sweetheart.”

“That’s a very Dean thing to say,” you said, walking into your closet and pulling on your airport outfit. A pair of leggings, the first tee in sight and a light hooded jacket. You slipped on your throw away shoes, the ten dollar sneakers that you didn’t give a crap about but held up amazingly well and threw your hair back in a ponytail. You tossed a pair of jeans, three shirts, pajama shorts, some underwear and your to go zip up with all your personal care crap in it. You quickly grabbed headphones, charger and a book before you were zipping it up.

“That was fast,” he said when you walked out after only a few minutes. “You sure you don’t want your laptop?”

“We’ll be busy probably,” you said. You glanced over to your dinner table covered with a few sheets of paper and your computer. 

“True. Okay. Everything off, and-”

“I have travelled before,” you said, walking over to your thermostat and turning it down.

“Thankfully it’s not across country today. Only a couple hours down to Arizona,” he said, stepping out before you so you could lock up behind you. 

“You still haven’t told me about what a con is Ackles,” you said, testing your door before walking with him.

“If you’re already binging the show, you’re going to have fun.”

“What?” you asked the front desk when you were checking into your hotel early that afternoon.

“We never received a request for a second room. Unfortunately we’re booked up,” they said and you sighed before heading over to where Jensen was talking to Jared in the lobby, waiting to go up to their rooms.

“Um, they don’t have a room for me,” you said, looking out the front doors. “I can try the hotel across the street.”

“Seriously?” said Jared. “They normally don’t screw up stuff like that.”

“I’ll bunk with Jared and you can have my room,” said Jensen, offering a smile. Jared seemed okay with that but you definitely weren’t.

“It’s your room, you should keep it,” you said. 

“I mean, you guys could share too. Not like you’re dating or anything...” said Jared, bumping his arm into Jensen.

“It hasn’t even been 24 hours,” said Jensen.

“I’m okay with sharing. We wanted to spend more time with each other. That’s the reason I came in the first place, right?” you asked. 

“If he annoys the crap out of you just kick him out and send him to my room,” said Jared, patting your on the back. “Want to meet up in a few hours and grab dinner?”

“Sounds good to me,” you said. “Apparently there’s a concert tonight he’s taking me to so we should be back in time for that.”

“Yeah. I’m sure that’ll be fun for you,” said Jared, sharing some sort of silent look with Jensen. “Later guys.”

“What was that about?” you asked. Jensen threw his arm over your shoulders and started leading you over to the elevators. For a moment you forgot all about the conversation were absolutely focused on all the warm muscle around you. 

“Y/N? Hello?” he asked, waving a hand in front of your face. Whoops. 

“Um, sorry, zoned out. What’d you say?” you asked, Jensen’s arm moving away to press your floor button and you wished he’d put it back.

“I may or may not be part of the concert tonight. I haven’t decided yet,” he said. You tilted your head up at him to see his green eyes staring back. 

“Yes you have you little flirt,” you said.

“I have to make you think I’m cooler than I actually am. I’ll use this to my advantage in any way possible,” he said, bumping into you playfully. 

“Right, because tall blonde and handsome isn’t cool,” you teased. Jensen was about to spout off something flirty back but a hand caught the closing doors and his arm quickly fell away. Two young women around your age stepped in, their eyes a little wide. He must not have wanted to draw any attention to you yet.

“Hi,” one of them said to Jensen. 

“Hi,” he said back. “You guys here for the con?”

“Yeah, it’s our first one,” said the other women. Jensen seemed genuinely happy as you realized they were both a little nervous to be near him.

“Y/N’s too,” he said, pointing at you. “What floor you guys on?”

“Fifth,” they said, Jensen hitting the button for them. 

“Are you going to sing at the concert tonight?” one asked as they got to their floor.

“I was planning on it. Have fun this weekend,” he said, returning the wave they gave him as they slipped out. 

“You handled that really well,” you said when you were alone. He shrugged.

“I’m used to it. Most people are super nice. We don’t really do bad stuff or get in trouble so no one bothers us on a day to day basis. No one follows me around or takes my picture. I’m boring. This is the most attention I get really,” he said.

“I like that about you. You’re normal,” you said.

“Let’s see how this weekend goes first and see if I’m worth keeping around.”

“Hey,” said Jensen, hopping backstage after finishing up a song, covered in a thin layer of sweat. “Having fun?”

“I wish you could have seen the exact moment her jaw dropped,” said Jared with a laugh.

“Oh my...you’re like fucking amazing,” you said, not sure where to look at him first. “You look like a rockstar and sound like one and play guitar, not to mention all the acting stuff and-”

“Told you I had to make myself seem cool,” he said, grabbing a drink of water.

“Mission accomplished,” you said, still in awe over him.

“I wonder how long that’ll last,” said Jared, Jensen whacking him with his bottle. “Hey, you got to tease the shit out of me when Gen and I got together. Payback’s a bitch.”

“I was totally in favor of you guys!” said Jensen. “I didn’t do it the second day you knew Gen.”

“I’m making up for lost time,” said Jared. “I mean, I don’t see you saying anything to Y/N for saying how cute your butt looks in those jeans.”

“Jared! You were sworn to secrecy,” you said, slapping his arm. 

“I need protection from you two,” he joked. “Besides, we don’t have secrets in this family.”

“He’s right. We don’t. Seriously though, you think I have a cute butt?” asked Jensen with a wink.

“Your cool guy factor is going down you realize,” you said, crossing your arms.

“Twenty seconds. That was longer than I thought,” said Jared, standing and stretching. 

“Shudyup,” said Jensen. You listened to a few more songs before the show ended and you stood up to head back to your room. “Woah, where do you think you’re going?” he asked, catching your arm.

“Bed?” you said back.

“If you want to we can. Or we can go out for a few hours,” he said. 

“I’m game. Not sure about an old timer like yourself,” you said, Jared raising his eyebrows as Jensen squinted.

“Oh, we’ll see about that.”

“Why is your alarm going off. We went to bed three hours ago,” you groaned.

“Sorry. Morning panel,” he said, his voice thick with sleep but willing himself to get up from the other side of the bed. “You can go back to bed if you want and just see the afternoon one.”

“No, I wanna,” you mumbled, stretching out and slumping back into bed. 

“Sure about that?” he asked, pulling off his shirt and walking to the bathroom. 

“I’m sure,” you said. You flashed open your eyes and quickly shut them before your eyes started wandering all over him. “Why are you so perfect?”

“I’m really not,” he said. “Something’s obviously not right.”

“Hm?” you asked, sitting up and opening your eyes.

“Forget it. I’ll shower quick then you can have it. Panel starts at 8,” he said.

“Jensen?” you asked. You watched him take a long sip from his coffee just before his and Jared’s panel was supposed to start.

“This one is only thirty minutes or so. Then we can grab breakfast,” he said, offering a smile.

“You just didn’t meet the right person,” you said, his smile falling away. “I don’t think you should feel bad about not having met that person yet.”

“I didn’t say any of that,” he said. 

“You didn’t need to,” you said.

“Hopefully I finally met her. Even if she thinks I’m old,” he said, Jared rolling his eyes behind him, mouthing ‘idiot’ at him. “What is Jared doing?” he asked, turning around in his seat to see Jared walking away.

“Oh, just being a good friend,” you said. “Come on, I want to see my first panel.”

“This one is smaller so it’s a good place to start I hope,” said Jensen, standing and holding out a hand for you. You followed until someone pointed out where you could go so you could sneak into the audience. You were surprised at how informal the whole process was, how a simple question led to a story and then another but somehow they always seemed to stay on track. You found yourself wanting more by the time it was over.

“You two are adorable,” you said to the guys when you saw them after they’d finished. “No wonder you play such good brothers.”

“We spend a lot of time together. As you can tell by how much Jared’s been hanging out on our second date,” said Jensen. Jared didn’t take offense and asked if you’d met any of the other people at the con yet. “We’ve been hanging out so not really.”

“Do it before we head home. Everyone’s interested in meeting your new girlfriend,” said Jared.

“I haven’t even asked that yet,” said Jensen, his face heating up the more Jared teased.

“Jared, can you give us a minute?” you asked. You waited for the two of you to be alone in the hall.

“Thanks,” he said. “I know this is probably overwhelming on it’s own and-”

“Do you want to be my boyfriend?” you asked, looking up at confused green eyes. “Yeah, I was talking to you.”

“This isn’t scary or weird to you?” he asked. 

“I like you. You like me. We’ll be going on more dates. I think we check off those criteria for boyfriend and girlfriend,” you said, reaching out and taking one of his large hands in yours.

“You’ve got a point,” he said. “I guess we’re together then.”

“I guess we are,” you said back.

“Can I go show you off to my friends now?” he asked with a smile.

“I’d love to.”

“This weekend was a lot of fun,” you said, yawning as you opened your door to your apartment that night. Jensen nodded and yawned in turn. 

“I’m really glad you came,” he said. “Maybe you can come to another one if you want.”

“Uh, duh. Those panels were awesome. I’ve definitely got some catching up to do,” you said, tossing your bag down and walking over to your phone on the wall showing a message.

“You are so going to be a Dean girl,” said Jensen, watching you tilt your head curiously. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you said. “It’s just I haven’t given out this number in ages. The only people who have it is my modeling agency and even then they always call my cell or email, never this one.”

“Well now I’m intrigued. Let’s take a listen,” he said, walking inside and taking a seat on your kitchen counter.

“Let’s hope it’s fast. Walking Dead comes on in like ten minutes,” you said.

“Do you mind if I hang out and watch with you?” he asked, kicking his feet softly.

“No ya little cutie,” you said with a giggle. “Does someone like that show or something?”

“Yeah. Papa Winchester is on it now so of course I gotta watch,” he said.

“Now that’d be a hell of a crossover,” you said, remembering how to listen to your voicemail. It took a few tries before the message came through.

Hi Y/N. I don’t know if you remember me from Friday. I was the director in that orange baseball hat. I just wanted to say thanks for stepping in and helping us out at the last minute.

“That’s nice of him,” you said, turning to Jensen who looked skeptical.

We saw your resume from your agency and the producing team was wondering if you could stop down Monday at 10. We’re obviously doing this by the seat of our pants but if you could come in and read a few lines just to try for us we’d be forever grateful. Your agency said you just finished a contract and this might be a great opportunity for us all if you’re interested. I understand if you don’t want to, this is pretty far out of your normal realm of work. Thanks again.

“Oh,” you said, turning to look at Jensen.

“It’s your decision, not mine,” said Jensen. “Have you ever acted before?”

“The last acting I did was Girl #4 in my fifth grade play,” you said.

“Do you want to try this?” he asked, offering a soft smile. You had enjoyed the three seconds of doing it before. That really was getting to pretend to be someone else, kind of like when you modeled. But it was different. There was a story to it and you were lying to yourself if you said you didn’t want to at least go and try in the morning. 

“Yeah, I do,” you said, nodding your head.

“We’ll watch zombies another night,” he said. “You’ve got other homework tonight,” he said, standing and moving over to your couch.

“What homework?” you asked, watching as he turned on your TV and quickly got into Netflix.

“Supernatural silly. If you’re going to read for Dean’s love interest, you should watch some more of the show,” he said, patting the spot next to him.

“Do you...want me to get this part?” you asked, walking over and joining him.

“I get to act that I’m falling for a girl while I’m actually falling for the girl that plays her? Why would I ever want that?” he teased.

“I guarantee I’m going to be awful at this tomorrow,” you said, feeling his arm wrap around your shoulders, pulling you into him.

“You won’t know if you don’t take a chance,” he said.

“When it comes to you and chances they’ve worked out so far. I guess we see what happens tomorrow,” you said. Jensen kissed the top of your head and your face began to hurt from the wide smile that had formed. At least until you started paying attention to the episode.

“Are those kids playing Bloody Mary? That scared the crap out of me as a kid,” you said, snuggling a little closer to Jensen.

“This one still creeps me out,” he said. “Obviously we should watch with the lights off.”

“If I get nightmares I blame you Ackles,” you said.

“If you get nightmares, just call me and I’ll pop down and sleep on your couch. Make sure nothing bad gets you,” he said, wrapping both arms around you and squeezing you gently.

“You can always just crash here just in case,” you said, letting him decide if he wanted to stay over.

“Good idea,” he said with a nod. “Now we should be quiet seeing as there’s a ridiculously good looking man on the screen,” he said.

“I’ll let Jared know you think so fondly of him,” you said.

“Shudyup and learn how cocky but good of a guy Dean Winchester can be.”

A/N: Read Part 4 here!

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[chokememrstark]

A Dangerous Game // Samifer

Chapter: 3/15

Words: 2035

Summary: Sam comes across a very interesting book that describes a ritual in which one can play a game with the Devil. His curiosity is sparked and even if he doesn’t think he will ever actually do it, Sam soon finds himself face to face with this very entity. Things take a very unpleasant turn, but despite that, Sam is going back, as if something pulls him towards Lucifer.

abuse, violence, bullying, black magic, no hunter!au

Note: The chapters vary highly in words usually, I apologize for that. It’s my longest fic for a while, so I hope you like it ^^ Also, because I feel I need to add this: Dean is pretty much an ass in this story, so if you’re uncomfortable with that you might want to reconsider reading it (or tell yourself he is completely ooc, fine with me too xD)

Thanks to @sassysupernaturalsweetheart & @brieflymaximumprincess for their wonderful beta reading and keeping me company while writing this story ♥

Tagging: @spnyoucantkeepmedown @samlicker83 - if you want to be tagged, just drop me an ask or contact me via IM.

It was way past midnight when Sam finally put the book he had purchased in the morning down. He had spent the last few hours unable to take his eyes off the words, fascinated by what the book revealed to him. At first he was confused by the way the book was written - as if the author spoke directly to him and no one else - but after a while he got used to the style and devoured every single word he found. The book wasn’t about any real magic or spells or anything, but exactly about what the title promised: a game.

When Sam finally put the book down the thoughts ran wild in his head. He knew why the woman gave him candles and the red string now, but it made as little sense as what he had just read. Did she read the book herself and expected him to play the game? Or was she messing with him, daring him to do it? No, that couldn’t be. She couldn’t know if he would take the book seriously or not. Hell, he didn’t even know it himself yet. A game that allowed you to speak to the devil? How crazy was that?

Then again, it was written in a very convincing way and Sam wondered if it was something that worked or that some weird guy made up. After all, it was just a book, right? Even if it seemed very convincing, it was just written words in a book that he bought.

Sam would have reread the book again, if only to look for anything that didn’t fit the story, but it was already too late and his eyes barely stayed open, even when he tried to force it. So, he closed the book and shoved it under his bed, turned off the light and laid down to sleep. It was Sunday the next day, so he would have another day to contemplate about what he had read, but for now he needed some sleep or he would be a walking corpse in the morning - more than he was anyways, of course.

That night, for the first time in a while, Sam had very weird dreams. At first, he was on a field under the full moon, staring at the sky with its stars so bright that everything was sparkling. Then he heard Dean’s voice, taunting him that he was a baby and would always be one and that he would be better off without this emo brother holding him back all the time. Sam turned around, determined to tell Dean that he was not a baby, but when he did, there was no Dean. Instead, he suddenly stood in a church and stared at a huge mirror. It wasn’t his reflection he saw though, it was a shadow inside, with eyes glowing as red as gleaming coal. He was frozen in place when a raspy and dark voice spoke to him.

“Are you brave enough to play my game, Sam?”

The boy woke up, covered in sweat and with his heart racing in his chest. His breath went heavy for over a minute before he finally realized that he was awake and that the weird noise he heard was his brother in the other room, snoring. He laid back, closed his eyes and covered them with one of his arms.

“Damn…” he whispered weakly.

Sam was used to nightmares since he was a young child, but this voice was giving him the creeps much more than even the worst of them. It still echoed in his head, whispering his name over and over - creeping him out and at the same time luring him, which was much worse for some reason.

After a few minutes, when he realized he wouldn’t fall asleep again, Sam sat back up and looked at his clock. It was shortly after four in the morning, much too early to get up, but what was he supposed to do? No, tonight he wouldn’t get any more sleep, so instead of tossing around for a few hours, Sam decided to stop bothering.

As silently as he could, Sam got dressed and sneaked into the kitchen of the small apartment to grab something to eat and drink, before returning to his room. He switched on the light, got a notebook and pen from his desk, then crawled back onto the bed and pulled his new book out from under the pillow. Since he had a lot of time, he thought, he could use it to go through the book again and make notes. So far, Sam wasn’t sure why he even thought about doing this - after all he wouldn’t go out and break into a church to summon the devil, right? But, for some reasons, he still felt the need to do it.

His notebook quickly filled with words, ranging from the things needed for the game, to the individual steps to play it. It really wasn’t that difficult, now that he saw it all in front of him. He still had no idea why the woman in the shop gifted him the candles and yarn, but it would spare him another shopping trip, if he actually considered doing this. Apart from that he would just need salt, a lighter and a church with a full-length mirror. Didn’t sound impossible, especially considering that the town they resided in right now had an old church they abandoned a few years ago. It was about thirty minutes away from their apartment and the verger who usually guarded it, was sick in the hospital at the moment, leaving the church unattended. How he knew that? Well, coincidence or not, the verger was also the pastor of his school and they got the news the week before.

“That’s insane,” Sam huffed when he read through his notes again and shook his head. “Why am I even thinking about this?”

The answer came clear, but it came from a voice inside his head that wasn’t his own.

“Because you are going to do this.”

It was the voice from his dream again, but this time it sounded less raspy and much more real than before. Still, it sent a shiver through Sam’s whole body and he shook his head more determined.

“No, no I’m not gonna play a game with the devil,” he said, but his voice was not at all convincing, not even to himself. “I’m not that stupid.”

But was that the truth? Really? He had no idea. Sure, Sam wasn’t stupid and he knew that, but even thinking about something like this was a very stupid idea and he couldn’t deny that. Still, if he would be careful, he could do it and come out of it unharmed - if it even worked. Sam couldn’t imagine this actually working under any circumstances. Sure, he knew sometimes weird things happened, but talking with the devil? In a church, of all places? That was ridiculous!

When Sam was done with the book again, faster this time, because he was only looking for specific information, it was almost six. He carefully closed the book, when he noticed something that had escaped his eyes the first time. The last page of the book was not the actual last page - it was kind of glued to the cover. Sam lifted the book up and as careful as possible began freeing the paper. It took a little effort to not rip the page in half, but eventually he managed to get it off the cover and turned it.

To his surprise, Sam found a symbol on top of the last page, followed by a few words written in a neat and small handwriting.

For those who dare play this game, I welcome you to try your luck.

Maybe you are the one who will finally be a true competition.

After all, you are smart enough to not fall into any of the traps, right?

LCF

Again, those three letters. LCF. Sam had been a regular visitors of libraries all over the U.S. and not a single time he had seen any book written by someone with those initials - he assumed they were initials, because everything else made even less sense. Sure, he couldn’t have possibly found all authors in existence in the ten years he was actively reading, but he still wondered how he never stumbled across it.

“This is insane,” he eventually huffed and finally closed the book.

No, he wouldn’t play this stupid game, no matter how tempting it appeared. It was just a creepy book, words written by someone who wanted to mess with people or just did it for the money. People didn’t go out and crucified others because the Bible said it, so why should he go and try to talk with the devil because this book said it?

Determined to forget about all of this, Sam took the book and the notebook and shoved them into his backpack. He also put the candles and yarn into it to get everything out of his sight and then, finally, sat back and ate the food he had sitting next to him for two hours now.

After he was done eating and finished his coke, Sam was positive that he wouldn’t do anything crazy. He instead got up from the bed, went to his bathroom and decided to take a long shower to wash all this crap away, if only metaphorically. Sam took his time showering and washing his hair, almost stayed until the water was ice cold and when he eventually stepped out of the shower again, he felt much better than before.

It was almost seven o’clock when Sam was done drying his hair and began dressing. He choose his favorite black pants, the ones that had chains on the sides and was ripped at the knees, a plain, black shirt and his combat boots. For a moment he thought about leaving it like that, but then decided to screw his dad’s complaints and put on makeup around his eyes - mainly because it made him feel much better about himself and people usually left him the hell alone when he did. With a deadly look on his face after putting the makeup on, he nodded at his reflection and carefully let his fingers glide over his eyebrow piercing.

“At least he didn’t rip it out,” Sam mumbled to himself, remembering how Dean had tugged on it the last day. It was still slightly red where the metal pushed through his skin, but there was no infection and he really liked how it had turned out. With a little smile on his face, Sam left the bathroom and got his jacket from the wardrobe - a slightly too big leather jacket that he wore almost every day if possible - and shouldered his backpack.

It was Sunday, so no school or chores around the apartment had to be done, and Sam decided to see if he could find a quiet place somewhere to just sit down and think a little. Thinking was usually impossible at home on Sundays, because Dean would either bring some girl home or annoy him with loud music the whole day and his dad would ultimately get into a fight with his brother about it. Almost every time Sam was the one who had to pay for any of this, since when his dad was done with his brother, he often turned to Sam to punish him for stuff he never did - or Dean would pester him with annoying comments about his appearance or behavior. So, instead of waiting for this to happen, Sam rather spent the day outside alone than mess with his family. It caused much less drama.

Sam sneaked into the kitchen again and made himself some sandwiches for lunch that he put into his backpack, as well as two cans of coke and an apple that wasn’t spoiled yet - Dean and his dad never ate any sort of fruits, so they didn’t care if they were rotting or not. When he left the apartment, both of them were still asleep and Sam couldn’t have been more glad about that.

[queeninabedge]

Sex Scene

Because there is literally NO Keith Powers smut at all (like come on guys, that man is KING) I decided to take it upon my perverted self to write a few short stories. It may not be the best but hey I gave it a shot! Enjoy 😊 I have been working on this set for a while. After wrapping up the New Edition story, I got asked to be a leading lady role. Funny thing I I would be opposite Keith Powers. We worked on New Edition together so I knew of him and he was very nice but we never really talked at all. Filming this movie has been kind of crazy. We have gotten closer. Especially since they put us up in pent house suits t the hotel and we live across the hall from each other. Today was one of the biggest scenes we had to fold and I was beyond nervous. I begged my best friend bryshere to please come with me to be my support and of course he said yes. Today we were doing the sex scene. It was the only scene we would be filming today and then we would be done for the evening. Keith and I had went over our lines together all morning but I was still so nervous. I had a small tiny crush on him and I hoped that this wouldn't make the scene awkward. "You're gonna do great," bryshere assured me. "I hope so," I answered "You ready for this?" I hear a voice behind me say. I look up to see a shirtless oiled up Keith and I couldn't help but bite my lip. "Ye..yeah I guess so" I reply He gives me this sly smirk and asks off with Bry. After hair and makeup I come out in these tiny booty shorts and a strapless bra. As I'm talking to the director I can feel eyes all over me. I look over to see bryshere and Keith both giving me this look of lust. I try to ignore it but end up blushing anyway. I climb into the bed and wait for Keith who is playing Evan in this movie and I Kelli. He climbs in and gets on top of me locking eyes with me. I was so happy that this was not a naked scene. He has this little confident smirk on his face. It kinda helps me calm down and relax. "Ok Keith you need to put her leg on your shoulder and Ina I need moans like if you were really having sex. No penetration guy save that for after hours. Just lots of dry humping,kissing and moans. Okay action!" The director yells. He puts my legs on his shoulders and starts humping which honestly felt really good. I could tell he was enjoying it at least because he was starting to get hard. When he leaned down and kissed me I took full advantage of it. I kissed him back earning a moan from him. I started moaning once our lips left one another's. "Evan fuck baby right there," I said in a sexy tone. Keith looked at me biting his lip. "You like that baby?" He asked his voice deeper than usual "Yes daddy," I moaned out Keith was caught off guard but started kissing me this time with more passion and lust. I couldn't help the moans escaping my lips and I scratched his back which made him growl. The way he moved his body against mine I started to pool underneath him. "Shit," I mouthed against his lips "Cut!" The director yelled "that was amazing good take. We are done for the evening go get some rest." As soon as Keith moves I sprint from the bed to the dressing room to hurry and get dressed. The hotel is down the street and I need a cold shower after that. Keith was still sitting there and I notice bryshere talking to him. I can't stay to find out details I have to get out of here. I get dressed and rush to the hotel. I hop in the shower and quickly wash away any evidence of today. i get dressed in some boy shorts and a tank top bra less. I put on some The Weeknd and start cooking myself some tacos. I pick a movie to watch as my dinner is almost done and pour a glass of wine. As I'm plating everything up I hear a knock at the door. I rush to go see who it could be since I never get visitors. As I open the door my heart skips a million beats. "H..hey Keith what's up." I ask curiously. "I usually don't see you unless we are coming or going. Come in." "You left so fast we never got a chance to talk." "Oh yeah I was hungry sorry. Want a taco?" I ask "Sure." He says. I make him 2 and head back to the living room. I plop down next to him and tear down my taco in about 3 bites. "Girl you was hungry huh." He says laughing "Yeah. So what did you wanna talk about?" I ask cutting on my movie. "Oh nothing really. Just wanted to get to know you. How did you like our scene today? " he asked devouring his tacos. "I see I'm not the only one hungry. It was great. I was really nervous so I'm surprised I didn't screw up." "Why were you nervous? I mean your beautiful and talented you have no reason to be nervous about anything." I start blushing and give him a quiet thank you. I get up and cuts the light down and grab a blanket to cover up with. "Well it's my first sex scene so I just wanted to do it right." "Oh you did it right," he says lowly barely audible. "What's that mean" I ask curiously. "Nothing. Let's just chill and watch the movie okay." He says quietly. We sit in silence for at least 30 minutes before I feel his arm slip around me. I look at him and he smirks. "I'm just putting my arm around you don't worry ma." He laughs. I scoot closer to him laying my head on his shoulder. I get a good wiff of his cologne and for a moment I forget where I am. Damn did he smell good. "You like it?" He asks "Wh..what?" "My cologne. I know you are smelling me." He says laughing. "Well I mean I can't help but smell you. What did you think about our scene today? You never told me your thoughts. " I ask curiously. "You did perfect um yeah you did amazing." "Any pointers for next time Mr. Powers?" I ask seductively. Before I know it he had me laid back on the couch, the blanket on the floor and my leg in the air. I was caught off guard I didn't even know what to say. He was looking right in my eyes. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated and full of lust. "Next time," he starts. His voice so deep I get the chills. " you should moan a lot louder and push back a little. " he says leaning down kissing me again. "And what else?" I ask lowly. "When you kiss, you should bite their lip just a little bit." He says biting my lip and gripping my thigh tightly. "Thank you for the advice. " I say trying to get up but he holds me down . "I've done my share of sex scenes but God girl you had me ready to fuck you right there. Bryshere was right when he said doing a sex scene with someone you love will change you life." "Wait you love me?"I answer surprised "Yeah ever since I saw you. Bry knew I'm surprised he didn't tell you. I'm glad he didn't. " He dips down again and captures my lips again the time in a sweet kiss. We get lost in the kiss creating an intense make out session his hands roaming all over my body and my hands up his shirt. He takes off my shirt revealing my lack of a bra and smirks. "Damn your perfect babe" he mumbles taking my nipple in his mouth. I scream out in pleasure. He pull off his shirt and I start pushing his pants and boxers down . He chuckles against my lips "impatient are we?" "I mean damn look at you," I say in between moans. He yanks my shorts down and growls at the sight of me pantyless. He stands up picking me up and throwing me over his shoulder. "Keith put me down!" I yell "Oh I'm gonna put you down " he says laughing. He busts through my bedroom door and throws me on the bed. He climbs on top of me kissing me from my feet until he gets to my thighs. He spreads my legs wide and starts moaning. "I'm gonna eat you alive baby." He rasps out. As soon as his tongue makes contact with my folds I scream out in pleasure pooling underneath his tongue. "Keith fuck!" I moan out. He is definitely a pro at what he is doing. I can't hold my orgasm any longer and I cum screaming his name. When he is done he comes up kissing me so I can taste myself. Without any warning I feel him slowly pushing into me. We both moan fuck at the feeling. He starts slow but soon starts destroying my insides. I claw at his back moaning and screaming. "Fuck you feel so good wrapped around me. " he moans putting my legs on his shoulders. He is fucking me so hard the headboard is banging against the wall. He flips me over and I automatically get into position arching my back to perfection. "Damn girl, you gone be the death of doing this to me. I hope you can take it," He says. "Oh i can take it don't worry," i reassure him. He slams into me without warning. I throw it back causing him to moan and smack my ass. We were both moaning and panting. Without warning he flips me again pinning my legs all the way in the air. "Are you mine now," he asks. I shake my head yes. "Um i cant hear you!" He grunts grabbing my throat. "Yes daddy" i scream. "Is this my pussy," he grunts going deeper. "Yes daddy" i scream again. "Cum for daddy then" I let go and cum all around him soon i feel him fill me up with his cum. He pulls out and lays next to me pulling me into his arms. "Im serious are you mine now," he asks again. "I told you yes bae I'm serious," i respond cuddling next to him. "Good, lets get some rest before round 2," he smirks giving my ass a squeeze.

[hotcocosharing]

Glory Days Part 13 (IM RP AU- Shun & Midi)

Part 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7 / 8 / 9 / 10 / 11 / 12 ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥ ❥

Eriko’s POV

The hysterical yelling and venting ends quickly, leaving me and two new helpful strangers in dead silence hanging in the air, awkward, thick as glue. I tense up and try to rip my own face away from the shame with my hands rubbing my cheeks.

The smell of food ready in the auburn hair gentleman’s hand while the other in glasses helps to set the table, making themselves at home more than I do. Without thinking; I slide off the jacket and return it to one of them, announcing that I need a quick shower to feel human again.

A shower- that’s always a solution. A long, hot shower takes anything off my mind and whatever forgotten mess Midori and I had caused. If showering could make things go away, could undo our regrets or simply make a guy who thinks of me as a slut even to like me a tiny little bit,  I would not mind taking shower multiple times a day till my skin peels off.

Once in the flow of water, I am in no state to tell the difference between the tears streaming down my face and the pellets of water hitting from the shower head. I crouch down, palms to my face, letting the stream consume my still hungover and shameful form. This is pathetic- standing naked in the shower wondering whether or not I am nothing but a complete failure.

Downing the delicious food in one go so unladylike in front of the two boys whose names remain unknown to me is far from my concern since again, a handsome fella spoiling and cooking for me seem just too good to be true. My heart flutter as I remember his strong arms around my waist and sitting across me, another just as good looking with black framed glasses over his ashy gray eyes.

Am I getting lucky or is more trouble waiting round the corner?

After a short introduction and names exchange, Rikiya Mononobe- the one who scoops me up bridal style suggests to take me elsewhere for a change of scenery while Shinichi Kagari- pulls out a cigarette and kindly reminds me to change into some jeans or pants instead.

Feeling curious and impatient, I slip into a pair of hot shorts from the couch, tossing my dress out of the way, not caring if it offends the two hotties or not and spins around just as the white see through shirt covers my waist. “Good to go! Oh can we make a quick stop after whenever you’re taking me?”

Rikiya’s POV

Shinichi and I share perhaps the fifth grin since we have met the drunken girl that screams nothing but trouble, yet we love troubles. It wouldn’t be a wild guess to think that Eri must be crying her heart out in the shower after her friend exploding at her along with whatever crazy they’re into the previous night.

The girl deserves at least a decent meal and blows some steam of. With the three of us, I have no chance to show off my bike and arrive the place in a taxi within twenty minutes. Eri seems cheery and fearless- totally different from earlier, guess you really can’t just someone by its cover.

“Oh my gosh, batting cages!”

Watching comically as the petite brunette rolls her sleeves and I put an arm around her, resting her head against my shoulder then point to a sign up front when two confusing gazes stare at me.

“Couples Discount”

Shinichi gives me a screw you asshole look then pays at the cashier. We’re escorted to an open cage and got set up. Shinichi beats me first and gives her a general idea of what to do. He is always better with theories and explanation anyway, only if she isn’t bored to death.

When it is her turn, her legs are stiff and too close together with her hands in the wrong place. He steps in and corrects her, standing behind her with her back on his chest. I watch with my arms crossed, imagining the warmth of his body heat pressing against her thin shirt. Aiming my phone at them and snap a quick photo, I grin at the sly fox while his hands are placed on hers, instructing her before the first call comes flying to her face.

“Hey!” I distract them and propose Shinichi a challenge, “Wanna see who’s a better couch? Whoever wins get a date with Eri? If she’s interested, of course.”

Eriko’s POV

I haven’t had that much fun in a long time, one that requires no booze nor sex, the kind of pure joy that comes from doing something I enjoy, laughing over little things.

Watching the two seemingly close friends, I smile at how blessed I’m to have someone like Midori and decide to make the quick stop I’ve mentioned earlier. Back to the crime scene from last night send chills and weigh on my shoulders at the piercing glare of Mrs. Katayani, ex Mrs. Katayani. “I’m so sorry mam, it’s entirely my fault. Midori was only trying to cheer me up, she’s more than sorry for what happened. Please don’t be mad at her for what I did…”

“I’ll stop you right there, dear.” The woman I look up to cut me off with her hand in the air, “I appreciate your sincerity and apology but you are not the only one at fault, more over, you should think of the influence you have on Midi and re consider your living situation.”

Stumbling out of the boutique, I’m greeted by the two gentlemen again while one asks if we should go on our date now and leaves the other one behind.

Rikiya’s POV A lingerie shop? How interesting! Eriko hasn’t  responded to the question Shinichi’s asked after she’s stepped out so I figure as that to be my green light. Scooping her up into my arms again like I had only a few hours ago, it’s a quick ‘catch ya’ which his exchanged by expression rather than words as I continue to carry the girl down the street. ‘Fine - have it your way Mononobe; but tomorrow she’s mine and I plan on showing her everything she’ll be missing out on.’ We’re still in earshot when Shinichi manages to yell that out but there’s a hidden undertone of playfulness to his voice which I can’t help but laugh at. Eventually dropping the girl back down to her feet, I take her hand in my own and intertwine our fingers keeping her close to my side as our pace of walking slows down - as if there isn’t a rush or care in the world. “I’ve got no idea about anything that was going on before with the whole quick stop to the lingerie store but - really - I hope whatever’s bothering you.. you manage to sort out soon.” It’s a small smile which cracks on Eri’s face that I can’t help but chuckle at yet the smile quickly turns into a confused look of questioning as we stop in a back alley a 10 minute walk from where we are earlier; and I’m pulling open a hole in a fence asking her to step through. “You can’t be serious”, she tries to shake off my with a laugh, yet my hand does nothing more than gesture across my chest to point at the hole - the direction we’re taking. “Dead serious. Why… don’t you trust me?” The smirk on my face is quickly mimicked by hers and I take the liberty of checking out her ass as she crawls through; the perfect view as I follow on, taking her hand after fixing the fence and guiding us through the overgrown foliage out the back of an abandoned school. Although it’s mid-daylight outside, the building of the door I kick in with a swift knock just beneath the knob is dark, pitch black - this quickly changes though after reaching out for a light switch I’ve turned on under these conditions a few too many times and watch the lights flicker on along the roof beams of the old, run down gymnasium. “I figured you’d fancy a little time away from the rest of the world”, I point out, assisting Eri to step over some broken chairs and text books which have been abandoned for god knows how long until we get to the large, oversized pool I’ve been wanting to visit for a while. Riddle me crazy - I’m not sure how the water in a pool in a place that is seemingly abandoned manages to look so good, so calm, so inviting; but out of sight, out of mind and with no company at all - this place is perfect for letting off steam. Shoes kicked off along with socks, jeans dropped and shirt pulled over my head; in just my boxers without saying another word I drive straight under. It’s a few seconds that past before I emerge up to the surface and tread the tepid water. It’s a come hither motion I make which brings Eri by a few steps towards the edge. “What’s taking you so long? Jump in.” Midori’s POV A half hour after my slightly dramatic exit from the dorm, I return to find the door shut. Shit - just fucking great - I have no god damn key to open it. Slamming my body against the door a few times in the hopes of it flying open seems to have no effect apart from hurting my side and I start thinking of my other options. I could go back to my mothers store but that would involve her seeing her daughter as she had not that long ago - unshowered, makeup streaming down her face, in a shirt that I still don’t know who it belongs to… hmmm, no; I cross that option off my list immediately. There are girls who live next door to us but after knocking there, it seems like no one else is in and I can feel my stomach grumbling - I haven’t had anything in it apart from the alcohol from last night which is taking it’s toll on me. Now I have even less options - over processed lunch meat from the cafeteria or… …it’s a few minutes longer than expected to creep across the campus unnoticed to find myself standing in front of the boys dorm. Marvellous - not! Knocking at the door, I bite my bottom lip and beneath my breath pray that someone will let me in. “Hey….”, I hear from behind me, “What are you doing here?”

[garnetsingingwriter-blog]

  My Prom Experience

On Friday evening, June 30, 2017, I attended my last secondary school event with people I have known for 5 years. I have to say that the experience was definitely a fitting finale to this chapter of my life. It really gave me a chance to reflect on how much I have learnt and grown over this period of time. I know that I have made so many friends for life and that I have met some truly unforgettable people.

Our prom was hosted in the function room of our local zoo. This may sound odd but it was quite incredible – the tables were so nicely laid out with white ribbons and balloons, and there was a dance floor right in the middle of the room, which you had to go down a few steps to access. We got a view of the whole zoo which was pretty incredible, and we were allowed to go outside (although not into the wider zoo grounds) to take lots of really amazing pictures.

The Run-up to Prom

The evening before prom was time I dedicated to small preparations such as sorting out my nails. I painted them myself, red to match my prom dress, using a Miss Sporty Lasting Colour Nail Polish in the shade 540, Boys Love Me. It is supposed to last 10 days and it’s brilliant as at the time of writing I have had it on for 3 days and the colour has not faded at all! I thought that this was a really great, inexpensive nail polish to use and I highly recommend it as it applies very smoothly and gives a lovely shine. It cost me only £1.99 which was fantastic! I also pampered myself with a charcoal face mask and went to bed earlier so I could look fresh the next day.

The morning of prom I took a shower where I could apply a hair mask and shave my legs. The hair mask allowed me to restore natural oils to my hair whilst removing any residue from hairsprays and other hair products I use. Once out of the shower I made sure to lotion my arms and legs to lock in moisture and leave them feeling smooth.

I then carried on with my day as normal until about 2 o’clock, when my mum brought her friend over to do my hair. I had chosen a tutorial I found on YouTube by Lilith Moon for a braided updo. We finished it off with some gorgeous screw in pearls to make it extra special and applied lots of hairspray so it would last all night.

After this, I put on my base makeup in preparation for my sister returning home to do the more complex stuff for me. I started out by moisturising my face using Aveeno lotion and then applying a small amount of the Benefit Porefessional Primer to fill in my pores and make them less visible. I then moved on to use the Maybelline Better Skin Foundation in Sand, the Camouflage concealer by Essence for my undereyes and the Maybelline Fit Me! concealer for my blemishes. I blended it all out using an oval shaped brush. I also packed my silver clutch bag with my ticket, some spare change for drinks, a power bank and my perfume. I planned to pack my phone and my lipstick later on.

My sister then proceeded to transform my look from everyday to special occasion. She used a gorgeous Makeup Revolution Eyeshadow Palette called New-trals vs Neutrals which is super pigmented and has lots of lovely shades. It cost £6.99 which I think is well worth it for the quality and number of shades you get. She completed the cut crease eye look by applying lots of silver glitter eyeliner to part of my eyelids to give me that extra sparkle. You can get lots of inexpensive glitter eyeliners from Superdrug, Boots or even Poundland! I also wore the Rimmel Kate Moss Lipstick in the shade 107 Wine which is a gorgeous colour that stays on for a long time. I wore a gold highlighter from Tanya Burr’s Christmas Collection, some bronzer and had my brows filled in with a brow pencil and some Essence eyebrow gel.

Here is the finish look:

I then got into my red dress and finished it off with a necklace, a red rose corsage, pearl dangly earrings, silver heels and my clutch.

My Prom Dress from the front

My Prom Dress from the Back

A few photos in the garden later and then we were off to my lovely friend Maddie’s house to catch a ride in our transportation for prom.

Travelling to Prom 

We decided that we wanted to take a really classy vehicle to prom – so what better than a beautiful dark green VW Camper van?

My friends and I with our prom transportation

The colour of the camper van complemented all of our dresses wonderfully and it was beautifully upholstered. I sat in the front seat whilst my three friends sat in the back. We were taken by the driver to a few locations to have pictures done with the dream machine before we actually arrived at the venue.

VW and a whole lotta laughs 2

VW and a whole lotta laughs 1

He took a few pictures of use all laughing which actually turned out great, as well as a couple of others.

And of course, we had to take some group selfies as well…

Selfie 1

Selfie 2

This is probably my favourite though:

Beautiful best friends

Then, we arrived outside the zoo where so many parents, teachers, friends and classmates were waiting for us. It was an amazing feeling looking at how well everybody cleaned up for our last event together as a year group. ❤

With some friends

Eventually, they let us into the venue (although not without a check for our tickets and a bag search) so we could go off and party!

Prom

The start of the prom itself was a frenzy to secure seats and tables and to get lots of pictures with people. I was very social, going around and greeting people and telling them how lovely they all looked. I’m so thankful and blessed at the number of compliments I received as well. ❤

I saw a lot of teachers, including my Chemistry teacher who is leaving my school at the end of this year. I was lucky enough to get pictures with her and a couple of other friends too.

Me and my chemistry teacher

Three girls in red

Two of my favourite people

We had buffet food including chips, sausage rolls, quiche, peppers and sandwiches. The queue was long but well worth it as by this point I was starving!

After we had finished our food it was time to get on the dance floor! For me, this was 100% the highlight of my evening. The DJs were killing it on the turntables and soon near enough everyone was dancing. So many people abandoned their shoes to join in on the action. It was amazing to form a giant circle of people during songs and have people show off their moves in the middle of it! Some of the teachers even joined in and went a bit mad on the dance floor (even our headteacher!)

There is something inexplicably fun about dancing and singing along to all of the songs with your friends. We demonstrated our dancing skills during YMCA, screamed the lyrics of Despacito, performed the Macarena in style. We rocked out to Beyonce’s Crazy in Love, went mad doing the Cha Cha Slide with teachers and classmates and held hands in a ring with one another during Coldplay’s A Head Full Of Dreams – whilst singing with equal enthusiasm! I even got picked up by one of my guy mates and spun around unexpectedly! We had started out a little awkwardly at first but eventually let all inhibitions go and went crazy with our moves. They do say that the crazier you dance, the better it looks!

I danced and laughed so much and just let myself live in the experience. Some of the Zoo staff were dancing along as they started to tidy up the venue, which was equally hilarious and also impressive to watch as some of them had really great dance moves. People were shooting videos left, right and centre for Snapchat and the like. There were strobe lights that went in time with the music and it made the entire atmosphere so magic and energetic. I didn’t want it to end and never even wasted a second, constantly dancing along with increasingly more ambitious and absurd dance moves.

Towards the end of the night, at about ten minutes to eleven, they switched all of the lights back on in the function room and turned off the music. Everybody started shouting for one more song and at the Head Teacher’s say so, we got one more song – Dancing in the Moonlight by Toploader. That song is such a classic and it will forever be special to me as the anthem of the prom. It was amazing just dancing and singing along with my maths teacher, best friends and year coordinator. The song felt like it lasted forever and we made use of every second that we had.

Regretfully, we started making our way out of the zoo. We took one last photo and I hugged a couple of people goodbye who I’m not sure I’ll ever see again. The ending was the most bittersweet part of it all, knowing that whilst I have the most incredible evening, and indeed 5 year experience, I may never see some of these wonderful people again. 😦 As we made our way out of the zoo gates (which were initially locked, leaving us wondering whether we were being held captive for the night) I started to play Whitney Houston’s Dance With Somebody, a song which is very special to a friend of mine and myself. Soon everybody started to join us in singing along as we made our way to our lifts home and hugged each other goodbye.

It was one of the best evenings of my life and something I will treasure throughout my life. It was the perfect way to mark the end of an era and to reunite with so many amazing people one last time. If you ever get the opportunity to go to prom, do because I can’t imagine myself not having gone!

Big love to all of the members of my year group. ❤ ❤ ❤

I will end this post with a little slideshow of my prom pictures.

xoxo

Hannah

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A Day in My Life: Summer Ball/Prom Night My Prom Experience On Friday evening, June 30, 2017, I attended my last secondary school event with people I have known for 5 years.

[losing-sensibility-blog]

these are some asks bc im a big fucc

Spotify, SoundCloud, or Pandora? iTunes bc fuck all that noise but i use pandora to find new good shit is your room messy or clean? so bad so messy what color are your eyes? like brown but apparently less brown than some people have do you like your name? why? eh its alright i dont have a problem with it i just wish it had a cooler meaning what is your relationship status? TAKEN AS FUCK WATCH OUT LADIES MY GIRL ABOUTTA STOMP YOU IF YOU LOOK AT ME THE WRONG WAY describe your personality in 3 words or less; cringe, disconcerting, apathetic what color hair do you have? broWn what kind of car do you drive? color? i don’t where do you shop? hot topic, vans, zumies, tilly’s, rocket fizz how would you describe your style? like a wannabe skater/stoner favorite social media account; fucking........>>>>>> i hate them all so tumblr what size bed do you have?  mark (twi)a(n) any siblings? 4 half siblings, i know two, dont know two if you can live anywhere in the world where would it be? why? colorado bc its been my favorite place since childhood  favorite snapchat filter? any of the ones that make my face cringier than normal favorite makeup brand(s) hAAAAaaaa how many times a week do you shower? so many favorite tv show? the office, rick and morty, probably family guy shoe size? 13 how tall are you? 6′2-3″ sandals or sneakers? i had a sandals phase but i dont really wear sneakers sOSO do you go to the gym? HAHAHHAHAHAHA describe your dream date: already had it, spent all day in the city, went record shopping, went to an aquarium and the ripleys museum, got high at pier 39, had mcdonalds for dinner, ended the day sitting in a park drinking a mikes hard lemonade, it was good shit  how much money do you have in your wallet at the moment? literally 0 and some bart cards with 5 cents on them what color socks are you wearing? flesh color how many pillows do you sleep with? tres do you have a job? what do you do? i work at my mom’s job i just seal screws into bags  how many friends do you have? apparently 5 whats the worst thing you have ever done? high school whats your favorite candle scent? VANILLA PROBS 3 favorite boy names; eminem, kanye, jay 3 favorite girl names; rihanna, kesha, beyonce favorite actor? james mcavoy favorite actress? idek probs aubrey plaza  who is your celebrity crush? james mcavoy favorite movie? filth or the grand budapest hotel or fear and the big lebowski do you read a lot? whats your favorite book? not really as much as i’d like, a million little pieces is my favorite so far tho money or brains? brains do you have a nickname? what is it? no how many times have you been to the hospital? like twice top 10 favorite songs; ooooooh boy, It Is Not Meant to Be by Tame Impala, Lazy Eye by Silversun Pickups, Never Follow Suit by The Radio Dept., The Air Near My Fingers by The White Stripes, Catalina by Allah-Las, Soul Kitchen by The Doors, Hate To Say I Told You So by The Hives, Sixteen Saltines by Jack White, You Only Live Once by The Strokes, Creep In A T-shirt by Portugal. The Man  do you take any medications daily? what is your skin type? (oily, dry, etc) Normal what is your biggest fear? BEINg ALONE how many kids do you want? however many sammy wants tbh whats your go to hair style? its just like whatever happens happens what type of house do you live in? (big, small, etc) small apartment who is your role model? jethuth what was the last compliment you received? something sammy probably said tbh what was the last text you sent? “thats a lie” to sammy how old were you when you found out santa wasn’t real? i think i was 7 or 8 what is your dream car? 80s ford econoline with a circle window  opinion on smoking? i smoke wacky tobacky but not regular tobacky do you go to college? no but i might what is your dream job? musician would you rather live in rural areas or the suburbs? sububrs do you take shampoo and conditioner bottles from hotels? yes do you have freckles? no do you smile for pictures? sometimes it depends on how good i decide on looking how many pictures do you have on your phone? 98 have you ever peed in the woods? yes do you still watch cartoons? yes do you prefer chicken nuggets from Wendy’s or McDonalds? mcdonalds Favorite dipping sauce? sweet and sour sauce what do you wear to bed? underwear and whatever shirt i wore that day have you ever won a spelling bee? no but i probs would what are your hobbies? self loathing and procrastinating can you draw? i can draw badly on purpose but not good if that makes sense do you play an instrument? im starting to play guitar what was the last concert you saw? Tame Impala last november tea or coffee? coffeeEEEEE i need it to survive Starbucks or Dunkin Donuts? i dont like starbucks and i havent been to dunkin donuts so can i just say peets? do you want to get married? yes (MAKE IT HAPPEN SAMANTHA) what is your crush’s first and last initial? S.S. like she’s a ship or some shit are you going to change your last name when you get married? we might do that just to piss off her parents lmao what color looks best on you? black grey white, or any combo of those do you miss anyone right now?  YES FUCKING HELL I DO (pls come home) do you sleep with your door open or closed? closed af unless my cats are being needy do you believe in ghosts? yes ive had experience so i kinda have to  what is your biggest pet peeve? everything about everyone i hate last person you called; sammy obvs favorite ice cream flavor?  mint chocolate chip or marble fudge regular oreos or golden oreos? regular chocolate or rainbow sprinkles? rainbow what shirt are you wearing? a tame impala t-shirt (big surprise) what is your phone background? a pic of me and sammy that makes me smile like an idiot every time i see it are you outgoing or shy? it depends, with the right people im a little tOO outgoing, but when im by myself im super super introverted do you like it when people play with your hair? im not opposed to it i guess do you like your neighbors?  dont really know or have a problem with them tbh do you wash your face? at night? in the morning? in the morning when i shower have you ever been high? yes have you ever been drunk? yes last thing you ate? 2 mcdoubles, and 10 mcnuggets favorite lyrics right now; 

Well don’t you remember, you told me in December that a boy is not a man until he makes a stand

Well I’m not a genius but maybe you’ll remember this I never said I ever wanted to be a man

summer or winter?  winter af  day or night? night af dark, milk, or white chocolate? i go between dark and milk chocolate really favorite month? probably november because my soulmate was created during that month LMAOoOOoo plus its chill and i like fall weather bc my best outfits come out of it what is your zodiac sign; LEO who was the last person you cried in front of? my mom