#im going insane. im going insane. i feel insane. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

yuikira · 2 days ago

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𓈒࣪ The "you" shaped spot ₊✧

warnings: pure fluff, one implication of having sex, bits of crying, hurt/comfort, ooc kinich, very self indulgent, i apologize for mistakes.

GOD THE ANGUISH I FEEL SINCE THERE HAVE BEEN NO GOOD KINICH FICS RECENTLY

m so sorry mualani i love you but i hate you coz you're so shipped w kinich it makes me cry in anguish burn in despair and writhe in pain..coz hes mine. not yours. never yours (guys am i mentally ill)

"y/n?"

well, this was strange. if he still remembers how to read the time correctly, it's 3:30 pm and you should be at home today. yet he couldn't hear a single sound from the shared household, implying you were, infact, not at home. huh? that was wholly strange. you both had no urgent tasks for today, so where were you gone? your date was in 1½ hrs time, so he didn't have a tinge of worry about it. he knew you'd return by that time, even if you were gone somewhere. but where did you go anyway? to the balcony? xilonen's workshop? ororon's fields? mavuika's chambers? ifa's vet?

it was almost 5:30 by the time his patience finally ran out. you were nowhere to be seen, noone knew your whereabouts, your departure time was unconfirmed, and you didn't even tell him about it. he tried to distract away the thoughts that eerily haunted his mind, 'what if she's in danger? kidnapped? or perhaps, dead?'

he'd get nothing out of overthinking. finally, it all clicked to him where you could perhaps be found.

shit, and was his intuition right. he could hear the sounds of violent sobs drifting off in the sea breeze, some sniffles and pieces of incoherent speech here and there. they were yours.

"y/n? y/n!"

he gently held your shoulders and tried to pry off your palms from your face. is it too late? at last as he finally managed to do so, he saw your tinged red eyes, indicating you've been crying for a lot of time.

"what happened to you? babe? are you okay? please tell me- what happened to you? please, please please-"

"im fine, ichi, its alright"

"you dont look alright at all. what happened to you? who did this to you? this sadness?"

"oh it's just..um..this is embarassing.."

"no tell me, please baby, tell me. if you don't tell me and start crying again, i might just start crying too. please tell me"

"um.. it's...basically, these past few days I've felt like... you're.. avoiding me. like...everytime i try to approach you, you just- you just..shut me down. push me away. it maybe because I'm not living upto your expectations, but these past few days I've been feeling like you spend time with mualani more than me. it hurts so bad when my inner thoughts whisper to me, haunting me by saying stuff like you're giving the same lovesick smile to her as you do to me, and falling for her and- mfhm?!"

oh by gods, the way kinich just tenderly held you yet kissed constrastingly different, almost making you feel dizzy and lightheaded. you knew you weren't in the right state of mind after crying and struggling with your thoughts for so long, and his intoxicating kiss didn't help the matter at all.

at last when he finally pulls his lips away from yours, a tinge of bemused smile rests on his slightly chapped lips. him? in love with mualani? he'd rather give away his body to ajaw and keep himself locked in a small piece of memory inside your heart, so that as long as your heart beats, you both never get seperated. that was the best deal for him.

"look, im sorry I didn't tell you earlier and I'm sorry if I don't live upto your expectations and or are falling for mualani, its completely alright and-"

"Are you insane?"

"huh?"

"You are the words etched into my heart. You are the blood in my veins. You are the god I was born to worship. Who am I to commit such blasphemy?"

"i-ichi-?"

"You are the knowledge I seek. The love I pray for. The reason of my existence. And you still think I'd leave you?"

"wait no ichi i-"

"The symphony of my beating heart belongs to you. Only you. For long as I'm alive, its bound to beat for you. I love you, y/n. I love you so much."

Teardrops began to fall from your eyes again as he finished speaking. He'd never, ever been good with words, reflecting his love and care with his actions instead. Although he's trying to be more and more vocal for you, you'd never expected this from him.

That was the moment you realized, his heart was 'you' shaped, with every single bit of his sanity dedicated to you.

"And no, I.. I'm so sorry if i made you feel as if I'm avoiding you. I'm infact not. It's just the fact that.. I'd been trying to plan a surprise for you for our 4th anniversary, but..looks like I wasn't so slick with it. I'm sorry"

"No, no, it's fine, it's fine. I misunderstood, no need to apologise" you shook your head while holding one of his hands, the other wiping your tears off as he gently places a soft kiss on your forehead.

"It's partially my fault, for making you feel this way. Let's go home, yeah? I'll try to make it up to you. Brownies and making love later?"

You smiled. "I love you so much, it's hard to put into words like you did"

"I love you more. You're forever my girl"

#god im so in love #i fucking love him #he's so silly #i love him too much #kinich x reader #kinich x you #genshin x reader #genshin x you

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lostinlads · 2 days ago

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Pretty in Pink

Synopsis: your boyfriend, rafayel, finally lets you buy feminine clothes for him after you asking. he tries them on for you, but to your surprise he ends up liking them a lot more than you imagined.

Tags: rafayel x afab!reader, MDNI IF YOU ARE A MINOR YOU WILL BE BLOCKED, no use of y/n, smut, porn with little plot, not proofread, not edited, femboy!rafayel, overstimulation, pegging, dressing rafayel up, whiney and needy rafayel, use of pet names (m receiving- my fishy, baby), raf calls you master, light spanking, you suck him off through his panties

Words: 4.2k

a/n: hi everyone, i know that there is a lot of stress right now especially with my fellow americans so i hope this can distract you even for just a moment. also i literally wrote this bc moot on twitter were making me and tbh? i loved it. but this is my one shot to tell everyone im back to writing after taking a week off! i hope you love femboy rafayel as much as i do because this man makes me insane actually

ao3

It's been over a month since you've tried to convince your boyfriend to let you dress him up in feminine clothes, the thought of seeing his smooth, silky skin wrapped with lace and soft fabric made your head spin and twisted the desire in your gut even tighter. He finally warmed up to it, allowing you to go out and buy whatever your heart called out to. Excitement wasn't even the word to describe the feelings that whirred around in your head.

You sat on your shared bed, staring longingly at the massive walk-in closet that held Rafayel, gnawing your lip as the only sound to occupy the space was the soft shuffling of him dressing behind the closed door. You wondered what he would choose first, having gone maybe a bit crazy in the luxurious stores, grabbing anything with lace and bows. Fuck, the anticipation making you nearly jump out of your seat to see his beautiful milky skin in fabric so thin you could rip it to shreds. The image of his long legs in stocking, or better yet, thigh high socks nearly make you drool.

Rafayel poked his head out from the door, cheeks a rosy pink, his eyes not meeting yours. "I think I'm finished..." His voice quiet, embarrassed. You shift, sitting up straighter on the bed as you wait for him to show you.

"Well?" You question, wanting nothing more than to walk over, throw open the door, and run your hands all over his body. He gulps, taking a breath before pushing open the door at an agonizingly slow pace. You wished he would hurry, toss it open so you can drink him in, but the slight tremble in his hands and the blush deepening down to his neck you knew he was nervous.

"Uh," Rafayel spoke, stepping fully into view in front of you, hands attempting to pull the short skirt down further to cover more of his delicate skin. You rake your eyes down his body, slowly taking him in fully.

A baby blue sweater hung off of his torso loosely, small cherries embroidered on the knit fabric, making it look warm and perfect for spring. The sleeves falling just shy of his fingers as his palms lay hidden underneath. Hugging his hips and dipping down his legs a blue and white pleated skirt lay, falling a few inches below the curve of his ass. Legs almost fully on display, white sheer stockings stopping just at the middle of his plush thighs - lace bows tying at the top.

You watched as he wrapped his arms around himself, eyes darting off to the corner of the room as his cheeks and the tips of his precious ears blazed in heat. His thighs rubbing together as your gaze pierced right through him. You knew, just in the way he squirmed under your eyesight that the other outfits would have to wait for another day. You needed him, and the growing tent he tried to conceal in his skirt told you that he needed you too.

"Come here," Arms opening for him, voice soft and warm. Your boyfriend flashed his eyes to you, teeth sucking his bottom lip in as he nibbled. Unsure footsteps towards you, his eyes staying trained on the floor as he inches closer.

"Do you... like it?" Rafayel asks, eyes never meeting yours, hands running down the length of his short skirt. Do you like it? Surely he's joking. The growing dampness between your thighs was answer enough for his silly little question. You loved it. Wanting nothing more than to pull him onto your lap and let your fingers run over every inch of his heavenly body.

"I love it, baby," You reach out to him, hands finding his small waist as you pull him closer, needing to feel his body heat on you. He looks down, watching your hands slip under his sweater and caress his soft, sweet skin. "So beautiful," You whisper, barely enough for him to hear. Rafayel reaches forward, hands resting on your shoulders as he slots himself between your spread legs bare thighs brushing your own. You could feel how warm he was, how his body temperature raised just by you admiring him.

Hands running down to his thighs, you rub your thumb where the stockings met his skin, admiring the way the lace looked as if it belonged on him, like it was made for Rafayel alone. Hands brushing over his creamy pale skin, running up towards the hem of his skirt, you could hear his ragged breath quicken. How his hands gripped your shoulders tighter and how he shifted between your legs. You knew he liked this, could see how turned on he was from wearing this for you. You continued on your path up, groping here and there at his delicious thighs until your fingers brushed against something soft and thin on his hip. Something you hadn't expected.

"What?" You question, reaching to push the skirt up higher so you could get a look for yourself. Your boyfriend's hands flying to still yours, just a second too slow.

"W-wait!" He stutters out, voice high and desperate - but it's too late. With his blue skirt hiked up to his hips you're face to face with a pair of pink pastel panties you do not recall buying for him - or even owning for yourself. Fabric so thin you could make out the outline of his shaft through them, the small but growing wet patch near his tip becoming translucent with his precum. A tiny pink bow sat at the waistband, a pearl in the center glistening in the light. You couldn't help the smirk curling its way onto your lips as you stare at his weeping cock through the material.

"I don't remember buying you these, fishy," You hum, index finger reaching out to stroke his pretty, pink head. He gasps at the touch, cock twitching as his thighs rub together.

"I... got them myself..." Words nothing more than a mumble as you finally look up at him. Eyes blown wide and glossy, pink lips parted as he pants out hot breath, a heavy flush painting his beautiful face. A few strands of his purple locks brush the tip of his nose as he looks down at you. "You were so excited, I wanted... to surprise you..."

Oh how badly you wanted to take him right then and there, toss him on the bed and have him writhe beneath you as you fuck his beautiful brains out. Rafayel had always been one to have a surprise or two up his sleeve, always leaving you on your toes - but this was something you would've never expected from him.

Without answering, you let your finger run up the length of his shaft once more, a teasingly slow pace until you made your way back to his tip. He twitched beneath your touch, stomach clenching as you assault his sensitive skin. You wanted nothing more than to savor this moment, drag it out for as long as you can so you can drink in every moan, every twitch and flex of his muscles as you milk his sweet cum out. Lips graze over his cock as you lean in, placing a soft kiss to it, his wetness painting your lips when you pull back. You swear he stopped breathing as you look at his face, in a daze of lust - wanting you to ruin him.

"I don't think we are going to be able to see the other outfits I picked for you tonight, fishy," Hands coming to lift his sweater, exposing his stomach to the chilly air of the room, his muscles tightening under his skin.

"Yeah..." Throat bobbing as he gulps. You stand, bodies flushing together. Hands cupping his cheeks, you bring his face to yours, lips connecting in a kiss. You can feel his desperation, the way he works his lips against yours, hands coming to your waist as he grips you closer. Feeling him grind his hips helplessly to yours, seeking relief for the tight tension that wound its way into his core. You hum, slowing him, licking at his lips as he tried to bury his tongue deep in your mouth, a cat and mouse game you both played so often, but him being on the receiving end. He didn't like it, a grunt leaving his mouth as he tried once more to deepen the kiss, only to be disappointed when you pull away completely.

"Not yet," You hum, thumb caressing his face as you admire his eyes, pupils wide with lust, with need. Hooded, showing the pink hue that swirled and darkened. Heavy pants leaving his lips as they dusted on your face. "Why don't we take this off of you?" Fingers coming down to play with the hem of his sweater. He nods, barely enough time before you pull it up and over his head, leaving his torso bare. Pink nipples hardened, your mouth wanting nothing more than to latch on and hear him whine for you, arching his back into you. But that could wait, you needed to get him on the bed.

Wrapping your arms around him, you switch positions, the back of his knees pressed to your shared bed. With a small push he sat with a bounce, you could see the nerves tensing in his arms as he stared up at you. Those eyes waiting in anticipation, swirling with need and want, moments like these you were thankful he was all yours.

"Do you want me to take this off?" Rafayel asked, hands smoothing over the pleated skirt. You smile, lips curling as you climb on his lap.

"No, I want it on," With shaky hands he holds onto your waist, looking up at you with wide eyes. You lean in, kissing him again, slow and lazy as your hands roam over his top half. Snaking down from his neck, over his broad shoulders, down to his pecs. The nails of your index fingers grazing softly over his sensitive nipples.

"Ah!" He pulled back with a gasp, chest heaving with every rough breath leaving his lungs. You feel him twitch beneath you, cock jumping at the contact he craved. Chuckling you place a soft kiss to his forehead, brushing his soft locks to the side before you let your hand drop to his chest again. Thumb brushing over one perked nipple, a hiss drawing from between his teeth. You flick it, softly, feeling his hands tighten on you as a soft, sweet whimper leaves his blessed lips. A sound so beautiful you wish you could record it, your favorite song.

"Lay back, baby," Whispering in his ear, sending a shiver to rake through his body. He obeys, back hitting the mattress and eyes closing. You run your hands down, teasing him with just your fingertips as you draw out small gasps and heavy breaths from him below you. Taking the opportunity, you grind your hips down on him, rubbing your clothed heat against his leaking dick. A moan slipping from your lips from just the feeling of how hard he was for you, how much he wanted to be fucked by you. Rafayel cried out, eyes screwing tighter shut as he arched his back, trying to get even more friction any way he can.

"Mm, please," He whined, thrusting his hips up in an attempt to meet yours, but you pull away before he could make contact.

"Please, what?" You coax, knowing this would only make the blush on his face deepen. While Rafayel took his time to whine and wiggle in protest, you sink to your knees on the floor. Fingers tracing between his thighs as you push them apart, getting a glimpse of his pretty pink panties that held his needy cock. Peeking an eye open he glanced down at you, brows creased as he watched you plant a single kiss to the skin of his thigh.

"I'm waiting," You remind him, fingers playing with the hem of his stockings, curling under softly and letting it snap back onto his skin.

"Please..." Rafayel pauses, breathing in deeply as he stares into your eyes. "Master..." Word so soft you almost didn't catch it, but as it rings through your ears something ignites deep in your core. Pushing his skirt up, bunching it at his thin, slutty waist, you waste no time to touch him.

Cupping his member through his now sheer panties you feel him shudder, pearls of precum leaking from his pretty tip. You stroke him once, a soft moan slipping from him as his thighs tighten around you. Already so touch starved and you haven't even gotten started yet. Swiping a thumb over his tip Rafayel tries to lift his hips, desperate, already so close to cumming for you, but with your other hand you hold him still, wanting to draw everything you can out of him.

"Not yet, baby," You mumble before leaning down, placing a firm kiss to his throbbing cock. "I've barely had any fun yet." Placing another, you hear your boyfriend stutter out a moan, the slick wetness of his groin collecting on your lips. It made you drool, just the taste of him sending your brain into a frenzy.

Flattening your tongue, you lick a fat stripe up his shaft, his fingers curling in the sheets, hips attempting to rock forward. He didn't make it far, bumping onto your outstretched tongue once before you held him back down. He whined in protest, high pitch and defiant, but slowly washing out into another moan as you lick one more stripe.

"Please, please please!" He cried out, head falling back onto the plush bed. You wanted to laugh at how cute he sounded, how his whimpers and whines only wanted to make you torture him even more. But you wrapped your lips around his leaky head, tongue brushing over his clothed slit as you lapped up his precum through the fabric. Rafayel choked out a cry, body jumping as one of his hands threaded through your hair. Now, you had him right where you wanted him.

"Taste so fucking good for me, baby, you know that?" Lips brushing on his cock as you spoke, low and sultry to make his head meddle into mush. He only cried in response, shifting under you as to coax you into pleasing him more. You obliged, humming as you wrapped your lips around him once more, drooling on his dick, his panties completely soaked in the front. Other hand coming up to caress his balls, granting a high pitch whine from him as his fingers tug at your scalp. You could feel how close he was. How much he aches for release from the way your mouth was flooding with his wetness. The way his balls tightened, and the vein running along the underside of his shaft throbbed.

"Cum-!" He cried out, words dying on his tongue, mixing with a moan as his hips jutted forward, pressing your face directly onto his cock, forcing you to smell the musky scent of his skin and arousal. You could hear how quick his breaths were becoming, almost on the verge of hyperventilating.

"Not yet fishy. Hold out a little more," You hum onto his sensitive skin. Tongue massaging his cock from base all the way up to his head. You slurp at his slit, sucking down everything he had to offer as he tried to hold back his release, the lewd sound buzzing off of the walls. You could feel your arousal dripping down your thighs, soaking through your underwear at just him alone. It didn't matter if you came tonight, you just needed to string out as many orgasms from him as you could until the sun rose, the image of him cumming for you was enough to get you off.

"C-can't! Can't hold-!" Rafayel cries, back arching as his hand falls from your hair and back to the sheets below. Releasing him, you lean back, hand still stroking him as you watch in awe at his cock twitch, tip an angry shade of pink as he tried to hold himself back.

"Cum for me baby," You whisper, eyes never leaving him as your hand moves faster, forcing him to reach his peak.

Rafayel wastes no time, a deep moan growling from his chest as his eyes roll so far back you swear he could see his own brain. His beautiful cock twitches once, twice, then you watch as his milky cum spurts out of his tip. Soaking his panties even more, dripping through the fabric and onto his pelvis. You want to lap it up, drink whatever he has to offer, but that wasn't the plan for tonight. His mouth the perfect O shape as his moans drowned out to silent gasps of breath.

As he slowly calms down, only thing left was him twitching beneath you, you never released him. Still stroking him, milking his cock dry, sending spasms through his body with every stroke. You don't allow his cock to soften, pumping him until his shaft swelled and thickened once more.

"You did so well," You praise, other hand coming to stroke his soft thigh. "Do you think you can do one more for me?" Voice silky, hoping he would grant you your wishes. With a weak nod, you see him bob his head, chest inflating and deflating with every breath.

You waste no time pulling his spent panties down his legs, freeing him completely. Slick and wet cock, shining in the lights of his room. Your hand returns, pumping him, not satisfied until you see those pearls dribble down from his slit. He squirmed, thighs jumping, abs flexing as he threw his head back onto the bed again.

"Ah-!" Your lover cries out, hand coming to push yours away from his sensitive member. Swatting his hand away, it only drives you further, feeling him twitch in the palm of your hand, watching the first beads drip down his shaft.

"I want you to ride me, baby. Can you do that for me?" You push off of him, standing to your feet and strip. Cool air kissing your skin as you lay on the mattress. Reaching your hand to your nightstand and pulling open the drawer, your fingers clasping over a bottle of lube and your pink opal strap on. You slip it over your hips and reach out to your pink faced boyfriend. With shaky arms, Rafayel crawls to you, still huffing out hot air, cock stiff and leaking as he settles on your lap.

The dildo pressed to his backside, your hands come down and kneed his ass cheeks. Two full handfuls as you massage them, soothing him as he made himself comfortable on your thighs. His hands coming to rest on your waist, holding him steady as you fondle him, fingers giving you a small but loving squeeze as his eyes bore into yours. Vibrant irises swirling with color, lust, and affection - moments like these made you realize just how much you loved this man. After a beat, you released him, hands finding the bottle of lube and coating your fingers.

"Are you ready, my fishy?" He nods, bobbing his head as he lifts himself off of you just enough for you to reach around. Fingers graze over his hole and you feel him clench, a small hiss at the sudden liquid. Your free hand hold onto his hip, squeezing it to let him know you would take care of him, that he is safe. Rafayel and you have used your strap a few times, him slowly warming up to it more and more but every time you started you could see the nervousness in his pretty eyes. "I have you," You promise, easing a finger through his tight ring of muscle. He relaxes, letting out a breath, allowing you to sink in deeper. He was so warm, wishing you had an actual cock so you can feel what it was like to be inside of him, feeling your own personal heaven.

He whines from above you, shifting his hips to let you know he wanted more. You reach another finger in, him relaxing more, taking your fingers to the base. You give him a moment to adjust, watching his face intently for any signs of discomfort or rejection. But the only thing you can find is his glossy pink lips parting, tongue darting out to swipe at them and his lust filled eyes calling out to you.

"More," Voice clear, almost demanding as he moves his hips, grinding back onto your hand. You oblige happily, pulling them out almost completely before thrusting them back in. He grants you a moan, eyes fluttering shut, his hair brushing along his cheeks as he tips his head forward.

"Already such a mess and I haven't even fucked you yet, someone is a needy boy tonight," You coo, thumb brushing against his hip as you thrust your fingers into him again, this time curling them.

"N-need you in me, M-Master!" Rafayel cries out, thrusting forward into the air between you. You don't waste any time, pulling your slicked up finger out and coating your fake cock with lube. No matter how much you wanted to push him down and fuck his brains out you knew you had to be patient, just for a little longer at least.

"Go slow," You soothed, holding his clothed hip firm as he slowly eased himself onto your fake cock. You watch as his mouth falls open, the tip of it sliding in his hole as he slowly sunk deeper until he consumed it to the hilt. His skin on yours was hot and damp, a light layer of sweat glowing on his skin as you watch him breathe in and out.

Rafayel recovered in seconds, rising his hips before letting them fall back down, skin slapping on skin. You watch as he takes his bottom lip between his teeth to conceal his noises, those delicious sounds he kept from you.

He rose his hips again, stiff cock slapping on your tummy as he fell back down, bobbing the hem of his skirt, dribbling his precum on your silky skin. When he rose once more you watch the thin string connect from your stomach to his head snap, before another bead rolled down his swollen shaft. You raised your hand and placed a hard smack to his ass cheek.

"F-fuck, ah!" Rafayel gasps out, shaky body lurching forward. You take the opportunity to shift your hips under him, hands coming to his waist so you can take control. One thrust, his sweet, beautiful cries ring out. Eyes closed, his flush spreading to his broad chest, looking ethereal and fucked out.

"So pretty for me," You breathe, caressing his skin as you fuck up into him again, faster. He hummed in response, brain foggy and only filled with sex, not able to form words.

The sound of your bodies slapping together filled the space around you, both of your moans clouding your mind as you give your all to your lover. Watching his godlike body crumble over every small touch you grant him, every twitch of his weeping cock as it smacked against your skin leaving behind marks of his love for you. You wanted nothing more than to watch him come undone, paint your body as you feel him shake with pleasure on top of you.

"Close-" Your lover shivers out, hands coming to hold you tight as he squeezed his eyes shut. You bless him with another spank, it ringing off of the walls as he falls to your chest, arms giving out beneath him.

"Yeah? I want you to cum for me, fishy," You whisper in his ear, hot breath fanning down his neck and making him groan. That was enough to send him over the edge, a string of high pitch moans falling from his beautiful lips as you feel him twitch twice, then his warm, hot liquid seep between your bodies. You don't stop, slowing your hips to lazy thrusts until every last drop drained from his balls, every spurt met with its own thrust. Sweaty forehead nestled in the crook of your neck as he cries, lips pressed to your skin, hands grabbing you wherever he can, rubbing his softening cock against your body. You wrap your arms around him, holding him close to your chest as you ride out his high with him.

Slowly, your boyfriend stills, hips jerking once before settling quietly in your arms, breath fanning over your skin as he fights to control himself. You ease out of him, earning a hiss in response, but once you're out he bares his full weight onto you, crushing you beneath him onto the bed. You kiss him, lips brushing on his temple as you feel his rapid heart beat against your chest.

"You did so well for me, baby," Cooing as you pet his dam hair.

"Well obviously," His cocky attitude returning in no time as he huffed out of breath, making you laugh out loud with how ridiculous he could be at times.

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cinnabuncrumbs · 3 days ago

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if trump wins this election i WILL personally be regarding everyone that told me they weren't going to vote with distain. because of the system or whatever . you dumb fuck. you arent going to break the system by not voting youre just gonna make it worse for everyone else because not voting is not overthrowing the system. people who try to argue that "not voting isnt a vote for trump" are fucking stupid and im sick and tired IT IS !!! TRUMP VOTERS ARENT GOING TO NOT VOTE FOR TRUMP. if you disagree with harris on her views of israel thats fine because i do too but good lord letting trump win wont help. because he'll make that worse and also literally everything else. if you didnt vote and you couldve i dont like you

#election 2024 #this is so so dumb #i hate some of you people #dont reblog this post unless you want to im just angry at people in my life #im going bebby. goonight #might delete in the morning because i feel insane

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coolgal78 · 2 days ago

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Watching the election results come in feels a lot like watching a suicide bomber run onto a fully packed subway car and hoping that the other people there will help you get the guy off the car and then watching in horror as they all say in unison "actually, I think it would be good if he did go in, because then I can have a subway car to myself" without realizing that 58 bombs were also planted in that car. And then bystanders who previously were saying "well actually, one single person in that car is a murderer, but I also dont like the bomber, so i dont want to help either" then going "how could the suicide bomber possibly get on the subway car?!?!"

#us election #us elections #election #election 2024 #like for fucks sake #i feel like im going insane

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sinnaminsuga · 2 days ago

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𝖆 𝖒𝖆𝖙𝖙𝖊𝖗 𝖔𝖋 𝖙𝖎𝖒𝖊 - mob boss!chan x reader

wc: 3,519

cw: some threats of violence, a little angsty but happy ending, SMUT MDNI.

synopsis: you loved him, more than anything. but being a secret was never what you wanted. the gilded cage you seemed to exist exclusively in was suffocating you, so you decided it was time to get out. but chan wont let you go that easily.

a/n: i was driving and clearly i was not paying attention because thats when this idea was born. as usual this was beta'd by bestie @httpdwaekki and she sourced the pretty pictures for me too. enjoy!

sw: dirty talk, daddy kink, unprotected sex (pls be smarter than that), breeding kink if you squint, general roughness, threats of violence (not toward the reader), chan has a gun. idk probably more but im bad at this shit.

the creak of the church doors flying open should have startled you like it did everyone else, but you knew better. it was only a matter of time before he came for you. he didn't like his things to go missing. truthfully, you were shocked it even took this long.

the click of his (no doubt expensive) shoes on the shiny wooden floor of the church hung in the air like the ticking of a clock, counting down to either your demise or your bliss you weren't sure which one. after a long pause you turned your head just enough to face him.

“can we help you?” you asked, more nonchalant than anyone else would have been in a situation like this. the muffled gasps and muttering from the crowd in front of you almost made you laugh but you held it in.

the charged energy in the room was due to the fact that the man interrupting your wedding was none other than the most fearsome businessman and gangster this city had ever seen. but to you? he was your asshole ex boyfriend.

“oh can you help me? that's what you're going to say? isn't this a little much, yeobo?” he replied, voice dripping with condescension and his hand over his heart in mock surprise.

“a little much? god you're so out of touch it's actually insane christopher. news flash, you're not the groom, you're not even supposed to be here!” you seethed, fully turning to face him. your groom (hand selected by your parents) stood next to you shaking like a leaf. you could feel the nervous sweat from his hand slicking the surface of your palm and it made your skin crawl so you dropped his hold as you stared fiercely down the aisle.

chan's face split into the wide grin you’d once been accustomed to seeing. “are you done now? you've gotten your attention and you've pissed me off, the job is done. let's go.” he said, walking further down the aisle toward you.

“jesus christ, you really are insane! i should have listened when people told me you were a full on fucking basket case but no. i was stupid enough to fall in love with you. fat lot of good that did for me!” you shouted at his approaching form.

you could feel your skin heating up and you could hear the blood rushing in your ears you were so mad. who the hell did he think he was, intruding on your life like this?! it's his fault you were in this situation anyway!

***

you had been with chan for 3 years, and in that time he made it a point to keep your relationship a secret. it hurt seeing his face splashed on newspapers and tabloids all over the city speculating on who he might be dating or who he’d been seen with recently. it hurt even more when he recapped nights where he was out to dinner with his men or allies and their wives. you couldn't help but feel like it was because you weren't enough. you felt like you weren't pretty enough, weren't tough enough, weren't worthy to be seen outside his penthouse apartment. and a girl can only take so much of that for so long.

so a few months ago on a particularly lonely night of chan being out doing god knows what with lord knows who, you packed only your sentimental personal belongings (nothing he purchased for you, which was a hell of a lot of your things), wrote a note saying nothing more than “no one took me, not that you'd care even if they did. i’ll be a bird in a gilded cage no longer. goodbye.” and walked out his door for the last time.

the fancy things he could provide for you behind closed doors weren't enough to soothe the searing pain in your soul of feeling like the man you loved was ashamed of you. three years together and not even a hint at things changing any time soon was enough to make you return home to your parents and agree to the arranged marriage they had been working on as they had no knowledge of the relationship you were already in. and who knows, maybe you could learn to love your soon-to-be husband Seo-jun.

***

you grabbed the skirt of your simple wedding dress and stomped down the few stairs of the platform, heading toward chan. when you finally stood in front of him you could see the darkness under his eyes like he hadn't been sleeping. his hair was gorgeous as usual but a little longer than he was used to wearing it. and his knuckles were raw and bruised. you almost felt bad for him but then, you remembered he made the bed he was lying in so why should you care about how uncomfortable it might be?

“why are you so upset with me yeobo? hmm? what did i do that was so bad you had to leave me in the middle of the night? i took care of you didn't i? anything you asked for, i gave it to you.” chan asked, grabbing your hand. something dark flashed in his eyes and his upper lip curled when his fingers felt Seo-jun's ring on your finger. “what made you hate me so much that you ran off to be with this fucking nobody?”

“you just don't get it. and you never did. that's part of the problem chris. you don't see me. you don't know me. no one did.” you murmured, taking your hand back and smoothing the fabric of your dress, eyes cast down. “with Seo-jun we can walk down the street holding hands and he doesn't think twice about it. we can have dinner in a restaurant, one that has other people in it. not one that's been emptied out and all the blinds closed and the staff paid to keep their mouths shut.” you inhaled a shaky breath before continuing. “i couldn't do that with you. and the worst part is, i don't think you even wanted to. you were happy to exclude me from things. happy to hide me. but i don't want that. i never did. and if you had no intentions of marrying me, it was my responsibility to myself to find someone who would.” you dabbed your fingers under your eyes and sniffled before straightening your back and meeting his eyes. you weren't prepared to see the agony in his face.

“i- i don't...i didn't know...i didn't know that is how you saw it all, how you saw me. i'm so sorry sweetheart. i wish you had talked to me.” chan breathed. he reached out his right hand and set it on your shoulder, rubbing soothing little circles with his thumb. after a moment he slid it up to cradle the back of your neck and tug you closer to him.

“i should have explained. i should have been more perceptive. i never wanted you to feel this way, i swear i didnt.” chan’s voice shook as he spoke to you.

“well it's too late now. please just go. please.” you whispered, trying to back away from him. you couldn't talk about this anymore. but in your attempt to move away from him, his grip on you tightened. he pulled you toward him forcefully enough that you were now chest to chest.

“you think that i will ever let you go again? i stayed away when you left, i thought maybe you needed time to be angry at me for whatever it was and then you'd come back when you were ready. but then i saw your face in the newspaper, the wedding announcement section no less. and i laughed. i laughed because surely that couldn't be true.” a bitter laugh rattled out of chan's mouth, flames of wild jealousy flickering in his eyes.

“as long as there is air in my lungs and my heart is beating in my chest, you will never belong to another man. ever. do you understand me?” he growled.

“i told you in my note and i'll tell you again now to your face, i wont be in a cage anymore. i cant do that to myself chris. i won’t. besides, you never would have married me. you just want to possess me, but you don't want anyone to know that you do.” you said softly, tears finally slipping down your cheeks unrestrained.

“why do you keep saying that? why do you think i'm ashamed of you?” he pleaded, his brows drawing together in confusion.

“what else am i left to think when you keep me hidden away in your penthouse? i'm not invited to dinners. i'm not invited to parties. no one you know, knows i exist! that's why every person in this room is so shocked to see you here! no one had any idea we were together, because that's what you wanted. i was a toy for you and now that someone else has me you're upset. don't you understand how painful that is for me?!” you wailed, not wanting to keep talking about it. you pleaded with your eyes for him to stop this torture but he was having none of it.

“are you insane? you think i wanted to keep us a secret? i wanted to tip toe around with you? no! but i had to! i know you think you know what i do but you have no idea the dangers that come with it. you are my most prized possession and the very knowledge of that is ammunition for some people in my world.” chan cried. “i would have loved nothing more than to scream it from the rooftops how much i fucking love you but i knew that would put you in danger and if anything ever happened to you i would have burned the world to ash. but the idea of your safety is out the window now, you forced my hand with this wedding bullshit and now it's all out in the open. everybody fucking knows now!” he bellowed.

realization washed over you like a bucket of ice water. he was right. you never considered that you might be in harms way if his enemies knew of your existence.

“i couldn't fucking marry you because then our marriage would be public record. anyone digging into me would find you that way. i wasn't willing to lay your life on the fucking line like that. is a wedding what you want? you wanna marry me?” chan asked, a mischievous air suddenly surrounding him. your subconscious overrode any sort of common sense and forced you to nod yes like some kind of sick twisted muscle memory.

the next thing you knew he was pulling you back down the aisle toward the small raised platform, the audience whispering behind you. as he approached your groom you held your breath, worried about what he would say.

“seo-jun is it?” he asked and seo-jun nodded. the fear was coming off of him in waves, why your parents paired you with this man you would never understand. you were far too argumentative to be with a weak man. “okay, so seo-jun what's going to happen now is i'm going to marry your fiance okay? get out of my way please, i'll only ask the one time so remember that.” chan said, his voice sickly sweet with a hint of ominous threat. seo-jun just nodded and ran off to cower behind his parents in the first row of seats. chan turned to face the officiant before speaking again. “alright let's start.”

the officiant gulped before he spoke with a shaky voice, “sir i can't marry you two. you don't even have a marriage license with the correct names on it.” this was obviously the incorrect response because chan reached into his coat and pulled out his gun, pressing it to the underside of the officiant's jaw. the rabid look in his eyes was one you were familiar with, he was incredibly worked up now.

“i don't recall asking for your sage advice, did anyone hear me ask for his advice?” he addressed the audience with his question. the crowd murmured a chorus of no’s and chan turned back to the man at gunpoint. “open your stupid fucking book and marry us or i'll blow your fucking brains out, got it? okay, good.” the officiant nodded frantically as chan pulled the gun away, tucking it back into the holster you knew he wore on his side.

you were very much in shock, and oddly enough very much turned on by his public display of aggression. you were finally getting what you always dreamed of with chan but you weren't totally happy. you didn't get to plan the wedding of your dreams with him, and this small event just didnt feel right.

“chris we can't do this. not like this. i want to plan something real, something with you. can we do that? please?” you asked, tugging on his hands.

“oh. of course we can do that sweetheart. but can we do this too? just like a practice? we’re already here and you look so pretty.” he said with his lopsided grin you could never say no to. so you giggled and nodded, and proceeded with the ceremony.

after the exchanging of vows, a cutting look at seo-jun from chan about the wedding band he’d chosen for you, and some muttering from chan about ‘none of this is good enough' the officiant pronounced you man and wife. the crowd reaction was mild as they were all still so confused and terrified, but you didn't care. you were floating. and soon as he heard the words “you may now kiss your bride” chan tugged you to him and planted his lips on yours. he swept his tongue into your mouth and you whined into the kiss. god you'd missed this, no one kissed you like chan did. he broke away for a moment just to stare at you.

“everybody get the fuck out.” every person in the church fled at chan's command, some squealing as they left. the two men he arrived with left as well, closing the doors behind them. you looked around confused, not sure why he would do that as you hadn't gotten your chance to walk down the aisle hand in hand. “channie what are you doing?” you asked.

a wicked smile appeared on his face as he replied “my wife and i need to consummate this marriage, i didn't want them here for that.” heat settled low in your belly at his words and you felt your face flush. surely he couldn't be serious! but evidently he was as he pulled you further across the platform to the altar.

he lifted you and set you down on top of the altar and pushed your legs apart to slot himself in between, yanking your dress up your legs to pool around your hips. chan planted open mouthed kisses across your exposed collarbone, one hand kneading your breast, the other reaching between you to grind against your clit. you threw your head back at the sudden pleasure.

“you let him in here? you let seo-jun touch you like i do?” he grunted against your mouth.

“nuh-uh. told him i wanted to wait. wasn't ready to give myself to another man.” you said, choking down a moan.

“good. he seems nice, i really didn't want to have to kill him.” chan laughed out into your neck. you pawed at his chest in an attempt to open his shirt but the buttons proved to be too difficult for your lust addled brain so you tore it open instead. and what you saw made you stop short.

right over his heart swooped dark black strokes of ink in your handwriting, the tattoo reading “i’ll be a bird in a gilded cage no longer.” it took your breath away and tears welled in your eyes. the weight of everything that had transpired hung heavy in the air between you and chan knew that so instead of speaking right away he leaned in, cupped your face in both hands, and kissed you with the most passion he could. so many words unspoken poured out of your mouths and into that kiss.

“here's what's going to happen now sweetheart. i'm gonna flip you around, bend you over, and fuck you until you see stars okay? it's been too long.” he explained as he maneuvered your body to the position he was describing. his big hand pressed between your shoulder blades and you submitted to him like you always did, leaning forward until your cheek was pressed to the marble of the altar.

the jingling of his belt behind you made you clench around nothing, the ache of being empty taking over. chan bunched your skirt up once again before savagely tearing your panties from your body. two of his big fingers slid through your wetness before sinking into you, punching a moan from your chest.

“gonna make it hurt baby, stretch you out jus’ the way you like okay? daddy’s gonna take such good care of you. always remember i love you okay sweetheart? because im going to fuck you like i really really don't.” he whispered into your ear, planting a kiss on the side of your head. then he was lining up with your entrance and sliding all the way in without stopping.

and he was right, the stretch hurt but really it always did. he was just so big, but you liked the burn. you liked still feeling him the next day. you could feel your eyelids drooping and your body relaxing as he started to move.

“fucking hell sweetheart. a few months away from me and i have to retrain this pussy to take me. so fucking tight.” chan ground out as his powerful hips slammed him in and out of you over and over again. your cunt was drooling all over his cock, almost as much as your mouth was all over the altar.

“still can't believe you ran from me. how about i put a baby in you, then you can't go anywhere. there's not a single place on this earth where i won't fucking find you, you got that?” he spat, lacing his hand into your hair and yanking your head up. all you could get out was a measly “uh-huh” but it seemed to be enough because he growled and started pistoning his thick length into you at a new angle, slamming the head into your g-spot.

chan reached down and wrapped a big hand around the back of your left thigh, lifting your leg and laying it flat on the altar, opening you up more for him. he slid his fingertips down between your legs and rubbed at your clit. if you weren't already sweating and drooling, surely that would have been the thing to do it.

“slutty little pussy missed me huh? she was all lonely and empty without daddy to take care of her. c’mon baby, keep squeezing me, yeah just like that pretty girl. so perfect.” he groaned as he did his best to bruise you from the inside.

at this point you were as boneless as you'd ever been, you truly did miss getting dicked down like this. chan had always been the best fuck of your life and you hadn't realized how much you missed it until now. “please make me cum daddy. need it so bad.” you mumbled incoherently, eyes glazed over.

chan laughed, a bitter sound tumbling from his lips. “those little fingers of yours couldn't even come close to treating you like my dick huh? bet you were riding that dildo i got you, wishing it was me.” he hissed out between his clenched teeth. all you could do was moan and nod because he was right.

“go on then. cum for me pretty baby. do it for me, need to feel it. then i'll fill you up just like you like.” he said, throwing his head back as he thrust into you with the harshest force you'd ever experienced. a few more direct hits to your g-spot and it was over, you were screaming and spasming around him, trapping him inside you for a moment.

“jesus fucking christ- oh god fuck that feels so good. keep squeezing me, yessss just like that baby yeah. fuck you're so beautiful like this. ah- ah- fuck fuck fuck 'm gonna cum. gonna cum in this perfect little cunt baby. FUCK!” chan gasped out, hips stilling as he spilled inside of you, warming you from the inside out. he collapsed over your back and breathed hard against your spine.

after gathering his breath and his thoughts he leaned forward, licking up a rivulet of sweat rolling down the side of your neck before whispering into your ear “cmon mama, lets get you home. i have a lot of apologizing to do.”

THE END

#jd's archive #bang chan #bang chan smut #bang chan fanfic #bang chan fanfiction #bang chan x reader #chan x reader #chan fanfic #chan smut #stray kids #stray kids smut #stray kids imagines #stray kids oneshot #stray kids scenarios #skz smut #stray kids fanfiction #skx x reader #skz imagins #skz fic

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arithegreat-666 · 1 day ago

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This is how I imagine the lamb would be punished if narinder was just a straight up asshole and just swapped places with the lamb

#cotl lamb #cult of the lamb #cotl narilamb #inktober #art #demon oc #lighting #im going insane #this is how i feel #especially rn

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sharpth1ng · 2 days ago

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Ive already posted this in my server, so you may see it twice, but In case you don't see it there im posting it here too.

Im assuming most of you have seen the news about the us election. Honestly im feeling nothing less than devastated, and i would assume Americans are feeling ten times worse. Im so fucking sorry to you all, and I know that doesn't help at all. I feel angry, hopeless, and sad as fuck, and i dont know how to comfort anyone or advocate for the hope i think we deserve.

What I can do is remind you all who you come from.

Women, queer people, disabled people, indigenous people, black people, new immigrants- anyone who experiences marginalization- we have been through this before. Many times. So many lives have been unjustly lost and our rights have been trampled on over and over, and we shouldnt have to be dealing with any of that still in 2024. It feels insane that im even having to write this post right now.

But even with that crushing history, repeating itself over and over, we haven't been silenced. If anything we've gotten louder. We've been having mainstream conversations about oppression and liberation in the past few years that were completely undiscussed when I was a kid. The vocal support for trans people alone, even with the rise of transphobia, is unprecedented.

None of this is meant to tell you that it's alright, or that it's not that bad, because it is that bad. But what I'm telling you is that its been this bad before, only this time we're louder than we ever have been before and we'll be louder still next time. There are more of us than there ever have been before, and if they couldn't take us all out when there were fewer of us they wont manage it this time.

There were drag shows happening in gay bars when it was still illegal to be gay at all. There were Natives preserving language and knowledge out of residential schools, and black people inventing whole new types of art and resistance while they were still being actively enslaved, and those are just a few examples. The point is that we dont stop, we never have. We will keep making art, finding love, and joy, being fucking loud and fighting for each other.

It's ok to hurt, to be angry and scared. Let yourself feel all of those things because its the only rational response to this.

But don't let it shut you down. Your history is one of resilience, survival, and compassion. We're so much more than the oppression we face and we always have been.

Reach out to the people you love and tell them you fucking love them. Make plans to see them. Gather with your community and organize to support each other, find ways to protect each other, and above all else don't stop looking for joy. Don't stop making art. Don't stop showing compassion.

Solidarity is the most important thing we have right now, so don't give up on it.

I don't know how to close this message really, but i want to repeat I'm not telling you to have hope, I'm not telling you it's not so bad. What I am telling you is that you're stronger than you think. You come from strength, you come from people who faced odd that seemed insurmountable so that you could be here today.

If they couldn't take us out before they wont succeed now. We're only going to get louder, angrier and stronger. And when the tide swings back in the other direction, like it always has in the past, they better be fucking grateful that most of us will be fighting for equality instead of revenge.

#keep fighting #i fucking believe in you #queer solidarity #anti racism #anti ableism #womens rights #trans rights #immigrant rights #decolonize palestine #decolonize turtle island #indigenous lives are sacred #black lives matter

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mythalism · 2 days ago

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ok im going to try and parse through my feelings on the entire game in the hopes that expelling these thoughts from my brain will allow me to actually sleep because i am running on about 3 hours right now

i will start positive with the things i absolutely loved:

solas. whos suprised

just kidding i will elaborate further of course. genuinely, from a (mostly) objective writing perspective, he is the best part of this game. like hands down. his writing is bonkers insane. he has the best lines and the most complexity out of any character in the game (besides mythal perhaps). i was so so so afraid they were going to completely woobify him into someone who was right all along and never did anything wrong in his life blah blah to make him sympathetic to a new audience. they did not give a fuck however and i could not be more glad. he is exactly the dread wolf and bringer of nightmares of legend. he is so wonderfully in character, even if that character is not someone we saw in inquisition (we saw solas, not the dread wolf!). there are moments that solas shines through, like in his mentions of varric in the very beginning, when he mentions his love for the inquisitor, his convo with a rook he respects (which i do believe was genuine, even if he betrays them anyway. we know that he regularly betrays people that he likes and respects lol), the way he helps the shadow dragons and saves the dalish, and of course in his final scene with the inquisitor. he manages to retain that perfect back and forth, mask on and mask off, solas vs. fen'harel dichotomy with a different balance than the one we saw in inquisition. in inquisition, we saw solas with hints of the dread wolf peeking through. in veilguard, we see the dread wolf with hints of solas peeking through. ok i need to move on or i will talk about him forever. but they nailed the moral ambiguity with him. they nailed the theme of forgiveness being hard. i loved when harding said something along the lines of "there is no one who doesnt deserve forgiveness" this is one of the few consistent themes that this game was successful in exploring. ok ok moving on now i promise

i also loved mythal (fragment mythal, not morrigan mythal who was a flop). admittedly i am a mythal stan, but her integration into this story was a highlight for me. she haunted the narrative in such a great way. it added so much complexity to solas. hearing him GROWL at elgar'nan in rage "you have lost the right to say her name" made me scream in glee. i loved talking to her and having to prove my worth to her. i love that it was hard and she would kill you without hesitation if she found you unworthy. i love that if she does find you worthy she is instrumental in changing solas's mind. i loved her dragon appearance even if she was useless in the damn fight lol. morrigan mythal sucked tho but thats for later

similar vein but the main quests were fantastic, with a few caveats. but overall every main quest had me hooked, having so much fun, at the edge of my seat and screaming and flailing in my chair. weisshaupt was incredible, BLOOD OF ARLATHAN WAS INSANE (the solas elgarnan bitch fight will go down in history as a moment of all time for me) and of course the finale was some of the best writing ive seen from bioware. the way suspense was built was well done, the stakes felt high, and the twists were interesting.

choice and consequence was absolutely banger. i gasped when i went back to dock town after leaving minrathous to fend for itself and saw a gallows with bodies hanging from nooses and piles of bodies in the streets. i gasped when harding died. i gasped when bellara got blighted. definitely the best choice and consequence in the entire franchise and it was very satisfying. i feel motivated to play again to see different options play out.

the environments are fucking insane. genuinely insane giga brained genius. i have never been so gagged by a video game like this. not only were they beautiful but they were well-designed, interesting and diverse. i rarely got bored anywhere (except treviso lol) and i was regularly picking my jaw up off the floor. some highlights for me were the anderfels area where you first meet davrin with that amazing vista, kal sharok, the docktown catacombs, pretty much anything in arlathan, the deep roads, and honestly so much. absolutely beautiful.

this game felt incredibly cinematic and the direction was fantastic. the cutscenes were so well done and they transitioned so smoothly into gameplay. the animation was fantastic, and everything was so engaging to watch. my favorite cutscene has to be when solas is about to switch places with rook and you see him in the background out of the corner of your eye twice, though rook doesnt know. i was literally screaming it was so fucking cool. it genuinely felt like watching a movie a lot of the time

i genuinely enjoyed the gameplay loop of exploration. i had a lot of fun just exploring around docktown and arlathan, there was always something new to find, i loved the puzzles, and i loved finding codex entries. this is a crazy thing to say but it actually reminded me a lot of genshin impact LMFAO. which i know a lot of people would probably consider to be a negative but i thought it was engaging and fun.

combat fucks. it got a little repetitive by the end, mostly because i think i just wanted to find out the end of the story and fucking darkspawn were in my way, but it was a huge step up from previous games and i think action combat was a good choice.

this game has an incredible amount of genuine heart and soul put into it and you can feel it in every facet of the game. i can tell that the devs were passionate and their creativity was genuine. i could feel their love for the characters and the world. this game is unflinchingly sincere and not afraid of being cringe (though it definitely is cringe at times, i respect the commitment to it so i dont mind it). it genuinely does not feel like an EA cash grab, which is a huge win considering how likely it was for years that a cash grab was exactly what we were going to get.

i enjoyed the varric ghost twist. i knew something was up with him but i didnt fully call him being dead until right before the reveal. i get why people are going to be upset about it, its a pretty fucking crazy decision, but i think what saves it is the quote he gives rook in the fade about his choices being his own and still encouraging rook to try to get through to solas despite being KILLED BY HIM.... fucking crazy. it ties in enough to the overall theme of regret and forgiveness that i think it works.

ok time for the negatives

its hard to pick my biggest issue but i definitely have a top 3: the lore flopped majorly, much of the writing felt juvenile, and there was an overall lack of nuance to everything about the game except for solas's storyline that did feel very not-dragon age to me

i actually dont give a fuck about lore retcons, especially if they are explained well. i think they are often necessary and can be pulled off. but this game literally just pretended to answer decades long questions about the lore and then does not. which would be fine if we didnt have someone who knows all the answers to those questions hanging out in our brains and willing to answer them. we did not learn what exactly a titan was. we did not learn what they were like when they were alive and before they were blighted. mythal called them monsters. harding suggests they might have been violent like the elves. we literally dont know anything about them except for what solas and mythal did to them. i dont think anyone even actually gave a clear answer on what the blight is. ok it was the titan's severed dreams but what the fuck does that mean? it was their rage and pain? then why does harding say the red lyrium manifested by her rage and pain was not blighted, just red? if blight equals titan nightmares then that lyrium should have been blighted? so what the fuck is the blight that ghilan'nain cooked with? red lyrium? how did the original darkspawn get made? did she start injecting people with red lyrium? but we know what that does to people because we saw it in inquisition. it makes them red lyrium freaks but it doesnt make them darskpawn. WHAT ARE DARKSPAWN? WHAT IS THE BLIGHT? did i miss this in a codex entry or something guys im so serious. how did we play this whole game and not actually learn what the blight is. we also learned almost nothing about the forgotten ones, which is fine except we literally met one and all they really had to say about it was "evil spirit" ? ok. also um. where are the rest of the evanuris. ok they are gone but where did they go. we know where their archdemons went, but where did they go? ghilan'nain exists separate from her archdemon so its not like killing an archdemon kills the evanuris, it just makes them vulnerable. should they not all be still alive in that prison together, just mortal and archdemon-less? they literally just say "they're gone" and expect us to be like ok! WHAT THE FUCK??? WHERE ARE THEY?? WHERE ARE THEIR BODIES??? WHAT??????? also the explanation for archdemons was boring. it felt like the team literally did not know the answers themselves (and didnt feel like calling up david gaider) so they just gave us vague non-answers hoping we wouldnt notice. I NOTICED.

similar vein; we learned nearly nothing about elgar'nan and ghilan'nain, and they overall felt cartoonishly evil and one-dimensional. and this is a greater problem that ill talk about next, but they were afforded none of the nuance that solas and mythal were given, and it feels glaring in comparison. why was elgarn'nan evil? was he just born fucking evil? we know thats not true. he originated as a spirit, what kind of spirit? what was his relationship with mythal like? what was his relationship to the other evanuris like? he calls ghilan'nain "sister", were they always close? did they become close in their prison? what are his goals beyond tyranny? or do you actually want me to believe he is just full stop evil? if he was one of the original spirit born elvhen what virtue did he embody and what polluted him into something so terrible? why does ghilan'nain love the blight? why is she obsessed with creation? we only get a single codex about she and andruil (that i found). what was her and solas's relationship like before she ascended to godhood? he calls her "the best of them" but we never see anything about their relationship. neither of them has any nuance. they are just pure evil, corrupted by ???? something ??? power??? i guess. and we are supposed to just be fine with it lol. what are even their motivations? why do they want to cover the world in blight? what is their emotional connection to this pursuit??????? we get such an exploration of this for solas and just NOTHING for them. they feel so one-dimensional in comparison, literal comic book cartoon character villains.

similarly, this game lacks nuance overall. bioware is known for its exploration of grey morality on both personal and sociopolitical levels. this game has that only for solas and literally no one else. qunari antaam? evil (super fucking racist depiction as well). venatori? evil minions. elven gods? evil. forgotten ones? evil. meanwhile, crows? suddenly good. its okay. just forget the MURDER, child slavery and abuse. seriously its fine. caterina dellamorte is a sweet old lady :) dont worry about it :). every faction is good and every antagonist is bad. its genuinely insane coming from the studio who gave us dragon age 2 to now give us something so fucking boring and black and white. they got SO CLOSE with the wardens and isseya and in the end davrin still kills her. why does solas get a chance at redemption and no one else does? here we are with an entire story centered around this morally grey character, interrogating whether or not his actions are justified, whether his intentions matter, whether his abuse informed his atrocities, asking ourselves if he deserves forgiveness asking if he deserves to be saved, where do we draw the line? what is the point of no return? why do people do the things they do? its fantastic. and then you go and do a faction or companion quest and its just like, these are the good guys and these are the bad guys. dont ask questions. have fun! WHAT???? FROM BIOWARE??????????

this issue bleeds over into the companions as well. i genuinely liked all of them. they are likable. but holy shit they have no flaws. all of them are genuinely good people and their problems center around others rather than themselves. there is little to no complexity, to the point where honestly they did not feel like real people to me. harding is sweet and perfect and her worst trait is being *checks notes* TOO AGREEABLE? davrin's worst flaw is raising his voice at his pet too much. emmrich's only flaw is FEARING DEATH LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING? neve is kind of cold. thats it. bellara never does anything wrong. lucanis doesnt sleep enough? taash is the closes they come to any sort of complexity and i did genuinely enjoy their identity struggle and i loved seeing their complex relationship with their mother. but none of those are flaws. like these characters are cookie-cutter perfect. we used to have companions who committed acts of terror and blood mages and mean jealous little brothers and did horrible things and said horrible things to each other and struggled with things like internalized racism and complacency in violent corrupt institutions and addiction and facing your fucking war crimes and they are some of the most beloved of the franchise because they feel SO REAL. like genuinely going from characters like anders and blackwall to these companions was so jarring and disappointng. i LIKE them all, dont get me wrong. but they do not act like real, complex fully fleshed out people, and the writing overall suffers greatly for it.

again connected, the writing in terms of literal dialogue but also what i mentioned above comes together to feel incredibly juvenile. i know some big reviewers beforehand said that the game feels like a pixar movie at times, and unfortunately i dont think thats inaccurate. a little harsh maybe, but there are moments that are truly written in such a way that it feels like the audience is children. and that doesnt mean its bad, because i am a lover of childrens media and most of my favorite media of all time is actually for kids (avatar the last airbender, fullmetal alchemist, etc), but this game oscillates back and forth so violently it will give you literal whiplash. it reminded me a lot of the way young adult fiction is written. GOOD young adult fiction, where its well-done, but its deliberately written to be simpler in both diction and theme and focuses on concepts that young people can identify with. this is how i felt during much of the companion quests during this game. again, it was GOOD young adult fiction, but it had the narrative styling and lack of nuance and complexity that is characteristic of such things, and that is just literally not what the game is supposed to be like. and there are great writing moments that do feel appropriately mature and complex, but they are mostly in the main quest and their presence makes the lack of maturity in the rest of the writing feel even more jarring. i have no idea why they wrote it this way.

morrigan's mythal flopped and was out of character. i missed flemeth's crazy ass. they literally nerfed her. i think this is connected to everyone being nice and good and perfect (no abusive mothers allowed!) which is crazy because the other mythal fragment got to be a crazy bitch. so what the hell

the lack of world states is still a major L. it felt like things were missing that should have been present and had no reason not to be other than just no worldstates. well of sorrows needed to be there ESPECIALLY considering the solas/mythal/lavellan dynamic.

this one is self-indulgence but solavellan could have benefited from better pacing. packing so much into act 3 made it feel rushed. i loved the scenes themselves, but there could have easily been more build-up with a few codex entries.

no fenris. i will never forgive

ok im running out of steam and actually feeling more able to sleep now (thank god). i know i said a lot of negatives but i actually believe this game is very, very good, especially within the context of its development. i think a lot of the issues likely do stem from their fraught development cycle, and overall they did a great job of identifying their priorities and pursuing them to the fullest. i dont necessarily agree with what they prioritized or what their vision was at all points, but i respect the clear direction that this game had. i do not believe it will stick with me the way the previous games did, and while playing i often found myself just missing the characters from 2 and inquisition that i love, and the writing that so often had me screaming crying throwing up and/or giggling and twirling my hair. however, this game gave me the #1 thing i wanted which was a satisfying solavellan conclusion, and though yes it could have been done a bit more... artfully, i think its incredible considering where we were just a few years ago with this game. i will play it again a few times, and the fact that it has sold well enough to guarantee bioware gets to stick around and make new games is a major win. 7.5/10 thank u for listening

#veilguard spoilers #mine.txt

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lynn-tged-posting · 1 day ago

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tged webtoon ep 166 spoilers and thoughts that are late again sorry about that it's starting to get really cold and my hands are freezing but it's fine below cut

ALICIA AT THE END OF THIS EP SHES SO. PRETTY SO SO PRETTY HELP OH MY GOD IM . HEL P . HELPPPP YUOR MAJESTY UR TOO GORGOEUS

committing to the fake dating / fake engagement bit is CRAZY HELP ?? ??? HJELP ???? ? ??? WHAT IS HAPPENING

back to the top of the insanity

genuinely i am so glad that we r getting snippets of javier and alicia interacting i know its really brief but this episode rlly cemented in my mind that they're besties . they talk shit and poke fun at lloyd but also they both rlly just want him to fucking live . the besties ever

they're gonna beat the SHIT out of lloyd with so much love and faith and care and genuine hope for him and they're both gonna team up for it and lloyd cannot escape. JAVIER AND ALICIA TEAM UP IS CRAZY. I LOVE IT

also speaking of lloyd HES GOING. THRU IT GOD FUCKING DAMMIT WAAAHHHHH

losing my mind at the untouched food bc i figure he's absolutely taking it just to ease the minds of his family/friends who are bringing the food to him but he cant even bring himself to actually eat it to sustain himself this fucking hruts to look at . even when he's at his lowest he doesnt want to worry people (which kind of failed but damn did he try) IM GONNA EAT MY HAND

it was really REALLY sweet to see his summons and the system message box trying to get him to get up, to live again,,, is today's ep the like tagteam episode or smth they keep teaming up on lloyd . good i need that mf to LIVE

also sorry saying again but gghghh this moment too where even when lloyd doesnt feel like eating or living, he'll do whatever he can to make those around him happy . he keeps doing that, the things he chooses to do always end up being for somebody else, not just him. it's never just for him. he doesn't really admit or realize that though god he's the most selfless bastard ive seen in my fucking life I WANT YOU TO WANT TO LIVE

AND THEN THE FUCKING. COUNT AND COUNTESS ADMITTING THAT THEY KNEW JAVIER WAS LYING GOD FUCKING DAMMIT I SHOULDVE KNOWN JAVIER REALLY IS A TERRIBLE LIAR OF COURSE THEYD FUCKING NOTICE

and at that we FINALLY see a panel of lloyd that shows at least one eye . now he knows that they know,,,,,,,

i really really like whenever the illustrator pulls stuff off like this, where we dont really See them until really hardhitting moments . for the entire time before this panel it was as if lloyd was just,,, shut down. barely even there. not being able to see his face cemented that, and then lloyd hearing the count and countess talk,,, it's like a flip of a switch, both for him and for the reader, and i really REALLY like that. god my HEARTTT GHHH

especially when the count n countess choose to believe in him anyway. to wait for the truth ghghalsdkjflahsdf their patience and their willingness to . listen for the truth my heart my heart i cant .

AND LLOYDS REACTION TO THAT I . GOD THERE HE GOES AGAIN LIVING FOR OTHERS JESUS CHRIST LLOYD GOD FUCK. EITHER WAY HE'S GOING TO LIVE HE'S GONNA LIVE HE WANTS TO LIVE HE WANTS TO LIVE AAAAAAAAAAH AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH

i need u guys to understand i started fucking shaking when i saw this

the difference in lighting and framing in these panels compared two the other shots we've had of him i feel INSANEEE WWWHWHHHH

like the one on the left god it's so SO bright now . the fact that the count and countess are waiting for him, are being so patient with him, they want the truth from him so he needs to live to give them the truth and that's just like a window being open to let the stale air out and new fresh life fresh air inside im gonna . feel sick

and the panel on the right he still looks a bit worse for wear but theres that determined look in his eyes again, they're solid and bright and warm and they're not shaking or blank and i feel so so fucking happy HES GONNA LIVE EVERYBODY HES WANTS TO LIVE HE WANTS TO LIVE

taking things one step at a time, ,,,, even when its hard he's so fucking determined god ohhhhghhh my heart you can do it lloyd u can beat it!!! the summons are so sweet too they look just as determined to help him get to his feet again i feel so sick

OVERCOME!!! OVERCOME!!!! OVERCOME!!!! LLOYD!!!!!!

AND THEN WHEN. ALICIA ARRIVES. ALL OF THEIR REACTIONS HONESTLY ME FUCKING TOO I WAS SO FUCKING SHOCKED

im so so happy though im so glad things are looking up and the sillies are back lloyd lloyd lloyd you can do this alicia and javier will help you!!!! the count and countess will help you!!!!!!

step one lloyd back to himself, step two beat the shit out of fate, step three ??????, step four PROFIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

IM SO EXCITED TO SEE WHERE THEY GO WITH THIS IM SO EXCITED javier what do u have to say for urself. alicia u too. whose idea was this

anyway that's all from me rn i think if i get more brainworms ill add onto this post lol, sorry its not a lot! ill see yall next week (aka tmrw) (this is late lol)

#tged #the greatest estate developer #tged spoilers #lynn misc #the greatest estate designer #tged lloyd #alicia magentano #lloyd frontera #my brains been running ragged so if i say smth repetitive / silly thats probably why #a LOT has happened this week!!! trying to keep cool about it!!!#i will continue posting abt tged episodes tho dw #even if theyre. like. a week late. sorry again #okays i think thats it

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tauforged · 1 day ago

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need my boss to understand that demanding i text and drive to inform her whether or not im running late if i get stuck in traffic is kind of insane and if i tell her ‘haha sorry i know im 15 min late but the traffic never really slowed down enough for me to feel comfortable taking my hands off the wheel to send you a teams message’ and her response is ‘well i need you to find a way’ i am going to be filing that conversation away and informing HR

#i’ve already gotten pulled over for it once since i started and got let off with a warning i’m not interested in actually getting In Trouble #being the only person on this team who drives in is kind of nightmarish

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to-rise-above-monsters · 8 hours ago

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how i interpreted the bertholdt thing was that armin’s understanding of annie deepened bc of bertholdt’s memories, not that it necessarily controlled his feelings (like how eren implied)

i reallyyy like aruani as a concept. they mean so much to me. ‘girl who doesn’t care for life’ ‘boy who cares so much’ (i also just love them as characters so much)

i think the downside for them was how long ago s1 was.

warning rant underneath (im embarrassed im so sorry)

i’d been such a long time fan but dropped off when there was a hiatus of the anime and decided ill just binge the manga when it’s done. the only real reason annie was on my mind was bc of how dedicated i was to the rba dynamic and how much i loved annie (and fanon annie) as a character. but she truly wasn’t a character for nearly half of the series.

i even knew someone who saw her in the crystal and asked me “who’s that?”

i think she suffered from fandom slightly but now it being canon ig they were right. it was a little annoying for fandom (a small part of it) deciding that every character needed to be paired off with each other and that annie must be in love with one of the boys she tolerates. maybe that was a small reason i found the canonicity so out of nowhere?

bc i love fanon ships for sillies but making a female character HAVE to hinge on a relationship with a man rubbed me the wrong way. but that’s not what aruani is in canon and im so thankful for that. but i still wish there was more

it sucks because there was really no way of developing her or their relationship while she was in the crystal and idek how someone could properly execute it but it was very jarring for her to come out of an absence that was longer than the timeskip for the readers. we hadn’t even seen her for i think six years? and then immediately she is fully canon with a character that we had followed for all the time she’d been missing.

idk i wish they had more. i wish it wasn’t hints. i wish it wasn’t the assumption that they must be romantic because of this, this and this.

their stuff in season 1 was so nice. i remember being so intrigued. but that’s all it kinda was? we never had a reason. why did she spare him? why did she seem to care about him in particular? why did she want to ‘be a good person’ for him? so interesting.

but we… never get an answer? is it because he called her nice? she clearly had empathy for him before that. but that wasn’t something ever shown. even the compilation of moments always seems to start in the middle of a blossoming relationship. there was never a moment that solidified their mutual respect and interest for each other. it’s just something that just… happened? off screen?

rereading all these years later, i can catch these things and be like ohhhh yeah ig that was them liking each other. but when it was happening in real time, it was the most jarring and insane jump. i was like woah woah buddy what is going on.

sudden blushing and confession was so crazy to me. it felt so sudden. and so did other ships. it felt like “ofc they were in love the whole time they’re a woman and a man who have some interest in each other”

honestly, something that could have been implemented maybe was that armin was genuinely talking to her not because he was in love with her but he did genuinely ‘want to see her’. maybe a scene of him reflecting on maybe why he wanted to talk to her so badly (he kinda does but i want it to circle back to his regrets and maybe acknowledging all the times she spared him or cared about him to a certain capacity). maybe a flashback of why annie respected armin so much. or when their relationship started.

and maybe showing him visiting her throughout? but from a lore perspective, i feel like that still wouldn’t work. sigh im so sorry. i have so many feelings and I don’t think I’ve ever actually written it out before 💀

idk im so sorry im rambling SO BAD. i think snk deserved to have a lot more breathing room and filler. letting my children just breathe and talk for a second. (i think that’s why junior high was so good and so well received)

i love this manga so much and i know some people hate the ending but i personally really love this series and it’s overall message and think it’s so well written. and i love anyone who is passionate about anything and loves things. i just like to write improvements or brainstorm headcanon/how i would tweak things🙏

anyways

isayama put his whole pussy into making yumihisu so explicitly romantic and intimate and loving throughout their entire relationship and decided he was done for the day<3

why did isayama put his whole pussy into yumihisu after saying he can’t write romance. and then fumble when it came to the straights.

#long post #oh my god don’t look at me this is so embarrassing #i love you all so much im so sorry if said something wrong #i promise i really like everything everyone i just wish writing was better #with the conversations in the comments/replies im like also getting the perspective of #maybe he can’t write straight romance bc of being shy or it being too personal #or that maybe men and women on a romantic level don’t need or don’t have a deep connection #and potentially them just being a man and a woman is enough for love #armin fr bagged a baddie for no reason other than his autistic swag #they didn’t have to talk. he just had to sit there and look pretty. and she just had to body slam his bestie.#idk man. i just ranted an entire essay for no reason #I literally have a paper due what the fuck am i doing #i hope this doesn’t come off as ‘I HATE YOUR SHIP’ or ‘YOURE DUMB IF YOU LIKE THIS OR THINK IT MAKES SENSE’#because tbh i like everything and could write just as long of an essay about any ships dynamics and value #i just think that every romance EXCEPT YUMIHISU FOR SOME REASON is written kinda shallowly and the ships deserve better #and if you think they’re perfect as is that is 100% cool too and i would love to hear why!#i just like talking to people and listening to different perspectives and hear what people are passionate about #oh my god im even yapping in the tags #txt #too much text #aot #snk #aruani #meta #i guess

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lalaaahh · 6 hours ago

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I'm genuinely going insane STRATOCASTER GUITARS ARE SO OVERRATED (but good if you know how to use them) ESPECIALY IN WHITE AND BLACK, BUT I HAVE ZERO CHOICE IN MY SHITTY 👏 ASS 👏 TOWN 👏

I love my guitars dearly, but I feel like a poser for owning one even if I've been playing for over 6 years

It looks mad boring yet im too scared to decorate it omggahfgdnmddn

Ignore that I took the picture over Snapchat😓

I wanted to post something sorry

#guitar #electric guitar #rant

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deeplyobsessed · 11 hours ago

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ok so i’m gonna ramble in sections

section 1: cgi moustache

FUCKING HILARIOUS like it was so bad it was funny HELP also buck’s hair was season 8 hair too it’s so funny like WHY did they reuse this HAHA

section 2: confession part 1

as short of a scene as it was, this was really nicely shot imo. and the tears in eddie’s eyes when he spoke like RYAN GUZMAN UR SO GOOD. but also how does buck (best friend) rank about girlfriend like hmmmmmmm

section 3: FUCKING ABBY

I CLOCKED IT I KNEW IT i know we always joke about 911 having continuity issues but THIS was such a good way to call back season 1 like insane writing tim minear and i love u for it

section 4: the divorce call

i wish they did more with this call like there was potential to call back to eddie/shannon but they didn’t. other than that i think honestly this is one of the grossest calls they’ve ever been on like genuinely icked the hell out of me with the guts like ugh gross

section 5: josh’s speech

as much as people hate on tommy, i do think josh’s explanation of things does give some sort of context to the way tommy acted in the past. like yeah racism and sexism is bad don’t get me wrong, but tommy did make an effort to change. it’s just that with society and his own work place back then, tommy prob had a lot of internalised homophobia that he expressed negatively outward to others (chim and hen in particular). but josh made a very good point with his speech about pre glee and post glee world (great reference, 10/10) and i think this was one of my favourite parts of this episode

section 6: confession part 2

ok first of all there was literally NO NEED to add that “im straight” “im celibate” part. like that was intentionally written into the script for something bcos that entire section could have been done without the sexuality mention. tim minear i see you. other than that FATHER BRIAN YOU ARE SPEAKING FACTS. my fav line he said was “but we can’t take care of others if we don’t first take care of ourselves”. bcos this is true!! and also a line used in therapy a lot cough. anyway i think the conversation eddie had with the priest was like a wake up call to eddie to start getting his head out of his ass and start working towards something. love this scene 10/10

section 7: brothers and pipes

most of this call was focused on the brothers part more than the well scene call back, tho there was a throw away line from bobby to eddie about how (eddie) wouldn’t fit this time. i do wonder if this happened irl would fire departments legally be authorised to allow children to help with rescues tho. otherwise honestly this was a very cute scene that helped chim get some introspection. i do wish there was more of a well scene call back tho :(

section 8: buck tommy breakup

as a buddie fan, i am overjoyed. but as a buck fan, i am devastated. tommy is actually one of my favourite love interests for buck, and its not just because he’s a dude and sexual awakening all that. i genuinely do think buck and tommy could have had a lot of potential if the show had decided to go through with it, but at the same time ending it here was also a relatively good note. i think in this relationship it wasn’t actually buck who wasn’t ready, it was tommy. tommy is afraid of things not working out in the long run bcos he doesn’t believe in buck’s affection for him being long term. this whole breakup was bcos tommy wasn’t ready imo. i do see the point tommy was trying to make but i also think it was a bit of a dick move to do the whole breakup immediately after buck asked tommy to move in with him. like the timing could have been better tommy. tommy being the one who decided to end things did surprise me tho. but now i feel really sad for buck bcos buck did like tommy a lot, and also as a queer person your first queer relationship is always going to mean a lot to you

section 9: MADNEY MADNEY MADNEY

HOLY MOTHER OF- i didn’t see this coming i didn’t but i am so here for it. the amount of trust and communication between chim and maddie is literal relationship GOALS like they lay out the boundaries and have healthy discussions about having another kid and it’s just so UGHHHH I LOVE YOU also maddie already being pregnant FJSJCKSK MORE BABIES

section 10: eddie, the moustache, and the dance

this. was. everything. the significance of shaving off the moustache. the dancing at the end?? no pants too was a choice. like when eddie flops back onto the couch and you see his smile, it’s like you truly see him deciding to finally forgive himself. maybe not completely, because there’s always going to be some guilt he carries around, but he’s moving forward and i’m so, so happy for him. it’s just a fun goofy feel good scene and i love love love this.

special mention: buddie and the couch

i actually think this is the first time both of them are on the couch together. like sitting next to each other with no one else. RETURN OF THE COUCH THEORY WELCOME BACK. ok but the ending scene?? the way they don’t even need words to communicate like- buck not even bothering to question why eddie doesn’t have pants, and eddie not even questioning why buck is here with beer in the first place. the level of mutual understanding has my HEART IN PIECES

overall this is honestly my fav ep this season and one of my fav eps of all time. i can’t wait to see how the story moves on from here ahhhhhhh

#911 abc #911 #evan buckley #eddie diaz #911totd #rambling #s8 #buddie #8x06 #episode analysis #of sorts #chimney han #maddie han

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